E6 - A Masterful Cat Is Photogenic

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:12] Saku
    It's so cold!
[00:13] Saku
    I'll want the kotatsu soon!
[00:16] Saku
    We won't make it through
    the winter with this little heater!
[00:20] Saku
    Hey, Yukichi. Where's our kotatsu?
[00:27] Saku
    Huh?
[00:28] Saku
    Huh?!
[00:28] Saku
    We have a kotatsu, right?!
[00:31] Saku
    You threw it away?!
[00:33] Saku
    Why?! That's terrible!
[00:38] Narration
    One year ago...
[01:00] Saku
    Oh, I forgot about that...
SIGN    The Masterful Cat
    Is Depressed Again Today
SIGN    Can
SIGN    A Masterful Cat Is Photogenic
SIGN    A Masterful Cat Is Photogenic
SIGN    Can
[02:55] Saku
    U-Um!
[02:58] Saku
    Why don't we buy a new
    kotatsu with my bonus?
[03:03] Saku
    I have sincerely reflected
    upon my past mistakes!
[03:08] Saku
    I won't make it my nest!
[03:10] Saku
    I won't eat or drink near it!
[03:12] Saku
    I also won't forget to turn it off!
[03:14] Saku
    So, please!
[03:29] Saku
    It makes me sad that you don't trust me!
[03:32] Saku
    Just imagine!
[03:34] Saku
    A kotatsu is a must for someone
    who hates air conditioners like you, Yukichi!
[03:38] Saku
    It'll gently warm your toe beans after they
    freeze from doing housework or going out.
[03:44] Saku
    A small oasis.
[03:46] Saku
    Just imagine!
SIGN    It'll gently warm frozen toe beans...
[03:54] Narration
    It'll gently warm frozen toe beans...
SIGN    Gwah!!
SIGN    Scrub
    Scrub
[04:10] Saku
    Why?!
[04:13] Train Announcer
    Please stand behind the yellow line.
[04:18] Saku; Internal
    I should just go ahead and buy one!
[04:23] Saku; Internal
    He won't toss it out since he's so stingy.
[04:25] Saku; Internal
    Ko-ta-tsu...
[04:28] Saku; Internal
    Buy now on Amazun...
[04:30] Saku
    Wha?!
[04:33] Saku
    H-Hey, hey, hey! Where are
     you taking my phone?!
[04:37] Saku
    No!
[04:38] Saku
    You're too resolute about this!
[04:45] Narration
    Rescued.
[04:49] Saku; Internal
    That was scary...
[04:51] Saku; Internal
    Begging didn't work.
[04:53] Saku; Internal
    I couldn't force my way through, either!
[04:55] Saku; Internal
    If that's the case...
[04:59] Saku; Internal
    I'll have to bribe him.
[05:01] Saku; Internal
    Churu! Nyan Petit! Silver vine! Catnip!
[05:04] Saku; Internal
    I'll buy it all!
[05:08] Saku
    Yukichi! I'll do the grocery
    shopping today...
[05:10] Saku
    Wait, he already left?!
[05:12] Saku
    He's too freaking capable!
[05:18] Store Kid
    Let's have curry tonight!
    Mama, doesn't it sound good?
[05:21] Store Kid 2
    Buy it! Buy it!
[05:22] Mom 2
    No!
[05:25] Mom 3
    Don't wander around!
[05:27] Child 3
    Okay.
[05:30] Man
    Don't run around.
[05:45] Clerk
    Do you have a point card?
SIGN    Nishina
SIGN    Prize
SIGN    Prize
[05:58] Rio
    This way for the lottery drawing.
SIGN    Prize
SIGN    Prize
SIGN    Prize
[06:03] Rio
    You can spin the lottery machine
    for every five eligible receipts.
[06:09] Narration
    Prize C, a personal kotatsu with futon.
[06:12] Rio
    You have two spins.
[06:14] Man
    Thanks.
SIGN    Receipts
[06:29] Rio
    Here's your participation reward,
     pocket tissues.
[07:15] Saku
    A life without a kotatsu...
[07:18] Saku
    What's the point of living?
[07:29] Saku
    I'm home!
[07:31] Saku
    Ouch!
[07:34] Saku
    Don't open the door so suddenly!
[07:39] Saku
    Hey! What's wrong, Yukichi?!
SIGN    2 Piece Set (Table • Futon)
    Personal Kotatsu
SIGN    Prize
[07:49] Saku
    I-It's not what you're thinking!
[07:51] Saku
    I didn't buy it!
[07:53] Saku
    I won it from the lottery
    at the supermarket!
[07:56] Saku
    I borrowed their cart.
SIGN    Prize
[08:00] Saku
    An old lady gave me her extra receipts
    when I went out to buy your favorites.
[08:07] Saku
    Four receipts!
[08:09] Saku
    So, I gave it a try, and I got the prize!
[08:17] Saku
    Installation complete!
[08:20] Saku
    Now, now, now! Come join me, Yukichi-sama!
[08:23] Saku
    I even borrowed an UMYU-Sea
    live concert DVD!
[08:28] Narration
    Cat food only.
[08:31] Saku
    Well? Well? Isn't it nice?!
[08:33] Saku
    What do you want to eat first?
[08:39] Saku
    Don't worry about me!
[08:41] Saku
    I'm super happy just sitting in a kotatsu.
[08:45] Saku
    You can sleep if you feel sleepy!
[08:48] Saku
    I'll clean everything up!
[08:54] Saku
    Huh?
[09:03] Saku
    Huh?!
[09:06] Saku
    No! No! I'm fine!
[09:08] Saku
    Huh? I-Is it really okay?
[09:11] Saku
    Can I really drink it?!
[09:15] Saku
    Yukichi bought a baby guard
    tabletop cover the next day.
SIGN    Safety guard for babies
SIGN    Purr
[09:30] Saku; Internal
    He nodded off!
[09:44] Saku
    Hey, Yukichi.
[09:48] Saku
    Yukki! Yukki-chan!
[09:52] Saku
    Hey...
[09:55] Saku
    Yukichi! Play with me!
[09:58] Saku
    I'm bored! Yukichi!
[10:02] Saku
    Boo!
[10:06] Saku
    I... I'm sorry...
[10:14] Narration
    Green foxtail.
SIGN    Slap
SIGN    Slap
SIGN    Slap
SIGN    Slap
SIGN    Slap
SIGN    Slap
SIGN    Slap
SIGN    Slap
SIGN    Slap
SIGN    Slap
SIGN    Slap
SIGN    Slap
[10:39] Saku
    I'm home, Yukichi!
[10:41] Saku
    I brought you a present!
[10:43] [SONG] Text
    Excited
    Excited
[10:44] Saku
    Ta-dah!
[10:45] [SONG] Text
    Ba-dump
    Ba-dump
SIGN    Slap Slap
SIGN    Pat Pat Pat
SIGN    Restless
SIGN    Slap
[10:50] [SONG] Text
    Excited
    Excited
[10:50] [SONG] Text
    Ba-dump
    Ba-dump
[10:50] Saku
    Come on! Come on!
[11:06] Saku
    That wasn't what I was expecting at all!
[11:12] Narration
    Its scientific name is Setaria viridis*.
[11:32] Delivery
    Hello! White Cat Delivery Service!
[11:37] Delivery
    Are you Fukuzawa-san?
[11:40] Delivery
    Uh, Fukuzawa Saku-san?
[11:43] Delivery
    I have a delivery for her. May I get
    a signature or a hanko stamp?
[11:48] Delivery; Internal
    Huh? A human? A human, right?
[11:51] Delivery; Internal
    A cat suit? To wear around the house?
[11:54] Delivery
    Oh, thanks.
[11:58] Delivery
    Th-Thank you for your thoughtfulness.
[12:04] Delivery
    That scared me! Damn it, Senpai!
[12:08] Delivery
    He should have told me
    about someone like that.
[12:11] Delivery
    Should I make a report
    about it to the company?
[12:21] Delivery
    Well, I guess it doesn't matter as long
    as I don't have to redeliver the package.
[12:34] Station Announcer
    Thank you very much*
    for using our station today.
[12:40] Saku
    I'm home, Yukichi.
[12:43] Saku
    What's this? From Mom?
[12:46] Saku
    Really, a Mamazun delivery?
[12:49] Saku
    Oh, there's a letter.
SIGN    To Saku
[12:51] Mother
    My dear stupid daughter,
    how is Yukichi-chan doing?
[12:56] Mother
    Knowing your slovenly and desultory character,
    your father and I are worried about him.
[13:00] Saku
    As usual, she doesn't sugarcoat anything.
[13:03] Mother
    I have sent cat food to
    ease some of our worries.
[13:07] [SONG] Text
    Packed...
[13:08] Mother
    Please send pictures of Yukichi-chan
    to us every once in a while.
[13:11] Mother
    Sincerely, your mother.
[13:13] Saku
    It's really all cat food.
[13:18] Saku
    Yukichi! Can I take your picture?
[13:25] Saku
    No! No! There's no need
    to make a peace sign!
[13:28] Saku
    I want to send it to Mom!
[13:31] Saku
    "He's doing great."
[13:32] Saku
    That's all I sent as a text message.
[13:35] Saku
    Whoa! That was fast!
[13:38] Mother
    Yukichi-chan's picture
    isn't included in your text?
[13:43] Saku
    Yukichi, can you act a little more like a cat?
[13:48] Saku
    Like a normal cat!
[13:52] Saku
    I haven't told my parents
    how big you've gotten!
[13:56] Saku
    I'm begging you!
[14:07] Saku
    Got it...
[14:08] Saku
    Will you use some cat pictures
    I find as reference?
[14:13] Saku
    Oh, yeah!
[14:15] Saku
    Maybe taking your picture head on
    is making your size stand out!
[14:20] Saku
    I should try taking a picture
    from high up or down low!
[14:25] Narration
    From above.
[14:28] Narration
    From below.
[14:32] Saku; Internal
    The room looks even smaller.
[14:36] Saku
    I'll just have to make a fake!
[14:39] Narration
    Brushing gloves meant for large dogs.
[14:42] Saku
    Yukichi! Lie down right there!
[14:52] Saku
    Okay! Turn over!
SIGN    Just fur
[15:10] Saku
    Look! Curled up and sleeping!
[15:13] Saku
    It looks just like a cat.
[15:17] Mother
    That just looks like a black ball.
    Are you kidding me?
[15:23] Mother
    How hard is it to send over
    a picture of your own cat?
[15:27] Mother
    Are you really taking care of him?
[15:30] Saku
    This is bad! This is really bad!
[15:35] Mother
    Could it be that his home
    environment is really terrible?
[15:38] Saku
    Th-That's not true...
[15:41] Saku
    M-Maybe it's not not true, but...
[15:43] Saku
    "He improved his home environment
    by himself, and he's living well."
[15:46] Saku
    I can't really tell her that...
[15:50] Mother
    I should go over and
    check on Yukichi-chan myself...
[15:53] Saku
    I knew it!
[15:54] Saku
    She said something terrifying!
[15:56] Saku
    What should I do?!
[15:57] Saku
    What should I do, Yukichi?!
[15:59] Saku
    Do something!
[16:04] Saku
    I'm not talking about how to host her!
[16:06] Saku
    Wait, why do you know
    Mom's alcohol preferences?!
[16:11] Mother
    Goodness! What is taking her so long?
[16:15] Mother
    I should really visit if she doesn't
    send me a proper photo this time.
[16:21] Mother
    What in the world? You should have
    just sent this over from the start!
[16:24] Father
    Oh, how rare.
[16:26] Father
    A message from Saku?
[16:27] Mother
    Yes! Quite rare!
[16:29] Mother
    She hasn't sent a picture
    of herself in years!
[16:33] Father
    Oh! Send it to me, too!
[16:35] Mother
    Goodness. That stupid girl.
[16:38] Mother
    She never contacts us on her own!
[16:40] Father
    Oh, my.
[16:41] Mother
    Jeez! Jeez! Jeez!
[16:43] Father; Internal
    Goodness. She's not honest at all.
[16:48] Saku
    Looks like we placated her...
[16:50] Saku
    Your plan was a complete success, Yukichi.
SIGN    Perspective
[16:53] Saku
    As expected!
[16:55] Saku
    I think she's mad that
    I haven't gone home in a while.
[17:01] Saku
    Oh!
[17:02] Saku
    We should take some more pictures like this!
[17:06] Saku
    I need to have some prepared just
    in case she asks for more.
[17:11] Saku
    I can show off pictures like this at work!
[17:15] Saku
    "Isn't my cat super cute?"
[17:20] Saku
    For now, though, I want a beer!
[17:25] Saku
    We had a huge photo shoot on a different day.
[17:29] Narration
    The photo shoot on a different day.
[17:31] Saku
    Help me!
[17:35] Saku
    This one is really good!
SIGN    A human who has completely forgotten
    her original intention after playing
    around with trick photos.
SIGN    A cat who got increasingly serious about
     photo angles and composition.
[17:42] Train Announcer
    The train will be arriving soon.
[17:46] Saku
    I'm home, Yukichi!
[17:54] Saku
    A message?
[17:56] Saku
    From Mom?
[17:58] Mother
    I received something nice,
    so I sent it to you.
[18:02] Mother
    I feel bad that I didn't send
    anything for Yukichi-chan.
[18:05] Mother
    But you need to properly
    cook for yourself at home!
[18:08] Saku
    "Got it." Sent.
[18:11] Saku
    Yukichi, did I get a package?
[18:20] Saku
    He's super happy?!
[18:24] Saku
    What? What'd we get?!
[18:27] Saku
    Is this a stone plate?
SIGN    High Quality Sharpening Stone
[18:30] Saku
    Oh, it's a sharpening stone.
[18:32] Saku
    Like for knives.
[18:34] Saku
    I've never seen one in person.
[18:38] Saku
    All yours.
[18:41] Saku
    Whoa! I-I-It's Mom!
[18:44] Saku
    Y-Yes. Hello?
[18:46] Mother
    Sorry, were you in the middle of a date?
[18:51] Saku
    I was just looking at the package you sent!
[18:56] Saku
    Thanks for the sharpening stone.
[18:57] Mother
    Is Yukichi-chan disappointed
    because that's all I sent today?
[19:02] Saku
    No, he's super happy about it.
[19:04] Mother
    Huh? He's happy?
[19:07] Saku
    No! The box! The cardboard box!
SIGN    Squeeze
[19:09] Saku
    Don't normal cats love them?!
[19:11] Mother
    What do you mean by normal cats?
[19:13] Mother
    Are there abnormal cats out there?
[19:15] Saku
    Definitely not!
[19:17] Mother
    I want to see Yukichi-chan in a box, too!
[19:20] Saku
    Huh?! That's impossible!
[19:23] Mother
    Why?!
[19:25] Saku
    I'm just tired!
[19:26] Saku
    I have to work early tomorrow
    so I'm going to bed!
[19:29] Mother
    Then at least let me hear him meow!
[19:31] Saku
    Meow?!
[19:42] Saku; Internal
    I've never heard him meow myself!
[19:45] Saku; Internal
    I've heard his weird laugh
    a few times, though.
[19:48] Saku
    He's the type that doesn't meow much.
[19:51] Mother
    Oh, he's the perfect type
    for an apartment, then.
SIGN    Purr
SIGN    Purr
[20:00] Saku
    I satisfied her with his purring.
[20:04] Saku
    Yukichi, I'm going to take a bath.
[20:09] Saku
    Oh! Are you going to start sharpening?!
[20:12] Saku
    I didn't know you needed
    a sharpening stone at home, too.
[20:16] Saku
    I thought only professionals used them.
[20:18] Chef
    I end my workday by sharpening my knife.
[20:22] Saku
    How did you get by until now?
[20:31] Saku
    A teacup?
[20:33] Saku
    Huh? You can sharpen a knife that way?!
[20:37] Saku
    Amazing! What a life hack!
[20:43] Saku
    Don't look at me like it's common sense!
[20:47] Saku
    It's definitely not common
    sense for a cat, you know?!
[20:57] Saku; Internal
    I would have bought him one
    if I knew it'd make him that happy.
[21:03] Saku
    Yukichi, what's for dinner?
[21:16] Saku
    Y-Yamanba?!
SIGN    Hee Hee Hee
[21:27] Saku; Internal
    Thank you, Mom.
[21:29] Saku; Internal
    We're both enjoying the wonders
    of a sharpening stone.
SIGN    Deeply moved
SIGN    Next Episode
[23:07] Yukichi
    I am a masterful cat.
[23:09] Yukichi
    A masterful cat knows.
[23:12] Yukichi
    There are DIY projects that you can do
    without asking a professional.
[23:16] Yukichi
    DIY stands for "Do It Yourself."
[23:18] Yukichi
    This term expressing self-reliance
[23:20] Yukichi
    is said to have been coined in London
    at the end of World War II.
[23:26] Yukichi
    If my human only tried to
    do more things herself...
[23:29] Yukichi
    No, that'd be a problem.
[23:30] Yukichi
    Next episode: "A Masterful Cat Is Able to DIY."
SIGN    Can
SIGN    A Masterful Cat Is Able to DIY
[23:34] Yukichi
    Do it yourself.