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E12 - The Masterful Cat Runs Away From Home?

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:16] Oshiro
    It's Monday. This sucks. I'm tired.
    I don't want to work.
[00:19] Oshiro
    I can't believe it's still
    so early in the afternoon.
[00:22] Oshiro
    I want to go home.
[00:28] Yuri
    It's the Monday blues...
[00:31] Yuri
    The malaise I'm feeling is unbearable, too.
[00:34] Saku
    Yeah, the first day of the work
    week is always rough.
[00:37] Oshiro
    Yeah, right. Fukuzawa, you come
    in every Monday raring to go.
[00:43] Oshiro
    You looked so alert this morning!
[00:46] Yuri
    Are you doing something to fight the blues?
[00:48] Saku
    Huh? Not really.
[00:52] Oshiro
    Maybe you're drinking some
    super rare enzyme or something!
[00:56] Yuri
    Or maybe you see an osteopathic
    doctor that has godly hands?!
[00:59] Saku
    What kind of image do you have of me?!
[01:03] Saku; Internal
    Am I doing anything?
[01:10] Narration**
    Sunday night.
[01:12] (Flashback) Saku
    It's coming!
[01:14] (Flashback) Saku
    It's almost here!
[01:15] (Flashback) Saku
    Monday is almost here!
[01:18] (Flashback) Saku
    Who said it has to come?!
[01:20] (Flashback) Saku
    It's crazy that we only have two days to
    rest when we work so hard for five days!
[01:23] (Flashback) Saku
    I don't want to squeeze
    into a full train car again!
SIGN    The Masterful Cat
    Is Depressed Again Today
SIGN    Can
SIGN    The Masterful Cat Runs Away From Home?
SIGN    The Masterful Cat Runs Away From Home?
SIGN    Can
[03:02] Narration
    Sunday night, continued...
[03:05] (Flashback) Saku
    I don't want to squeeze
    into a full train car again!
[03:08] (Flashback) Saku
    Monday is almost here!
[03:10] (Flashback) Saku
    Who said it has to come?!
[03:12] (Flashback) Saku
    It's crazy that we only have two days to
    rest when we work so hard for five days!
[03:16] Sazae-san
    This is Saae!
SIGN    Bwap
SIGN    Push
[03:19] (Flashback) Saku
    I just heard Sa
ae-san's voice.
SIGN    Fluster
[03:23] (Flashback) Saku
    It's all over!
[03:25] Narration
    Sunday, that is.
[03:27] (Flashback) Saku
    I want to go back to Friday night!
[03:29] (Flashback) Saku
    Or I want to jump forward
    to next Friday night!
[03:32] (Flashback) Saku
    Why can't every day be Saturday?!
SIGN    Poff
SIGN    Push...
[03:37] (Flashback) Saku
    What're you...
SIGN    Breathe in Breath out
SIGN    Sniff
[03:44] (Flashback) Saku
    It smells so good.
[03:46] (Flashback) Saku
    Thanks, I feel so much calmer.
SIGN    Sniff
[03:49] (Flashback) Saku
    Why do your toe beans smell like happiness?
[03:54] (Flashback) Saku
    They smell like the sun,
    but a little sweeter.
SIGN    Sniff
SIGN    Not sure how to
     feel about this
[03:58] (Flashback) Saku
    Something like popcorn.
[04:02] (Flashback) Saku
    I want to carry around this
    scent and warmth with me.
[04:05] (Flashback) Saku
    Maybe mankind needs to carry around
    cats instead of smartphones?
[04:10] (Flashback) Saku
    I could survive a full train car with...
[04:13] (Flashback) Saku
    Full train car?
[04:17] (Flashback) Saku
    A full train car?!
[04:19] (Flashback) Saku
    Monday is coming!
SIGN    Huff
[04:28] Narration
    Three hours later...
[04:31] (Flashback) Saku
    I want to live in the countryside.
[04:33] (Flashback) Saku
    I don't want to live such
     a busy lifestyle in the city.
[04:36] (Flashback) Saku
    I want a slow lifestyle where two train cars
SIGN    Whimper
[04:39] (Flashback) Saku
    are spacious enough to
    fit all the commuters.
[04:42] (Flashback) Saku
    I've always wanted to live in
    an old house that's been renovated.
SIGN    Warmth
[04:46] (Flashback) Saku
    Maybe you can open up a small
    Japanese-style restaurant, Yukichi.
[04:49] (Flashback) Saku
    We could have a little
    vegetable field in the forest.
[04:55] Narration
    The forest.
[04:57] Narration
    Bears.
[05:01] (Flashback) Hunter
    It's a bear!
SIGN    Meow
[05:04] Narration
    Shooing accident!
[05:06] (Flashback) Saku
    Huh? Why not?!
[05:08] (Flashback) Saku
    Is it because you're so
    attached to our house?!
[05:12] (Flashback) Saku
    Ugh, I can't sleep.
[05:15] (Flashback) Saku
    Can I drink a beer?
[05:17] (Flashback) Saku
    I'll brush my teeth again afterward.
[05:21] (Flashback) Saku
    But I can't fall asleep at this rate!
SIGN    Purr
[05:28] (Flashback) Saku
    What's with this superbly
    comfortable vibration?
[05:36] Narration
    Mission complete.
[05:47] Saku
    I don't think I do anything
    particularly special.
[05:54] Saku
    Well, maybe my cat lets me
    cuddle more on Sundays?
[06:00] Oshiro
    It gets more clingy because
    it knows you're leaving?
[06:03] Oshiro
    How cute!
[06:05] Saku
    No, he's not really that type of cat.
[06:09] Yuri
    Cats are full of healing properties.
[06:12] Yuri
    I heard that their toe beans and purring
    have huge effects on people!
[06:17] Yuri
    I've read that the pheromones from their
    toe beans have a calming effect on people.
[06:22] Yuri
    Their purring is thought to
    alleviate stress, expedite healing,
[06:26] Yuri
    and strengthen the immune system.
[06:29] Yuri
    The effects are significant enough that there's
    even research for the use of cat therapy!
[06:34] Oshiro
    Aren't cats a little too overpowered?!
    Maybe I should get one, too.
[06:36] Saku; Internal
    So...
[06:38] Yuri
    You'll end up an old maid.
[06:39] Oshiro
    What?!
[06:39] Saku; Internal
    I was getting cat therapy!
[06:43] Narration
    A world where every person carries a cat.
SIGN    Sniff
     Snort
     Huff
     Sniff
     Heave
[06:49] Saku
    Wouldn't that solve everything?!
[06:52] Saku
    Am I a genius?!
[06:55] Narration
    The eyes of a cat looking at an idiot.
[06:58] Train Announcer
    Thank you very much.
[07:08] Saku; Internal
    Lately, Yukichi has been making*
    some weird rhythmic noises.
[07:13] Saku; Internal
    He does it while he's doing housework
    or if he's in a good mood.
[07:19] Saku; Internal
    I've been writing it off
    as some random humming, but...
[07:23] Saku; Internal
    I realized something after going to
    the concert at the aquarium
[07:26] Saku; Internal
    and listening to their music a lot.
[07:30] Saku; Internal
    He's beatboxing to UMYU-Sea's songs!
[07:34] Saku; Internal
    And the thing he's doing right now...
[07:37] UMYU-Sea
    We're not clione sea angels!
[07:42] UMYU-Sea
    We're...
[07:43] UMYU-Sea
    We're...
[07:44] UMYU-Sea
    Idols of the sea!
[07:45] Saku; Internal
    It's their debut single,
    "We're Not Clione Sea Angels"!
[07:52] Saku; Internal
    He's so talented!
[07:53] Saku; Internal
    This is a great song. I love it, too!
[07:56] Saku; Internal
    I want to tell him that, but I can't!
[08:01] Saku; Internal
    Last time, when I snuck a shot of Yukichi
    dancing since he was so darn cute...
[08:13] Saku
    No! No! No! No!
[08:13] Saku; Internal
    He got so mad he never
    danced like that again.
[08:15] Saku
    I'm not deleting it! I'm not!
[08:20] Saku; Internal
    If he thinks I'm teasing him again,
    he'll never let me hear his beatboxing!
[08:27] Saku; Internal
    Maybe it's okay as long as it
    doesn't seem like I'm teasing him?
[08:31] Saku; Internal
    Yeah, like...
[08:35] Saku
    That was some amazing
    beatboxing! It was so moving!
SIGN    Compliment
[08:40] Saku; Internal
    Yeah, he'd definitely get angry.
[08:44] Saku; Internal
    Maybe I could join in nonchalantly?
[08:47] Saku
    We're not clione sea angels!
SIGN    Anger
[08:52] Saku; Internal
    How about adding an offhanded request?
[08:54] Saku
    Oh! I want to hear
    "Sesame and Salt Parade" next!
SIGN    Anger
[08:59] Saku; Internal
    Maybe I should challenge him
    to a sudden beatbox battle?
SIGN    Doom Doom Don
     Tsk Tsk Housh Yeah!
SIGN    Anger
[09:06] Saku; Internal
    It's no use!
[09:07] Saku; Internal
    I can't think of a way to bring it up
    without being annoying!
[09:10] Saku; Internal
    And I've never beatboxed before!
[09:16] Saku; Internal
    He'll close his heart to me
    forever if I'm too careless.
[09:20] Saku; Internal
    I'm sure the door to his heart will be
    harder to open than Ama-no-Iwato.
[09:26] Saku; Internal
    Ama-no-Iwato?!
[09:35] TV
    We're not clione sea angels!
[09:39] TV
    We're...
[09:40] TV
    We're...
[09:42] TV
    Idols of the sea!
SIGN    Sway...
[09:49] TV
    All of the sea and the sky.
[09:50] Saku; Internal
    All right! He took the bait!
[09:51] Saku; Internal
    Now, join me, Yukichi!
[09:53] TV
    We'll protect all of the earth.
SIGN    Yank
SIGN    Pull
[09:58] Saku
    Uh, Yukichi?
[09:59] Saku
    Yukichi-san?
SIGN    Rewind 30 seconds
SIGN    Beep
[10:03] Saku; Internal
    No. This isn't it.
SIGN    Stare...
[10:05] Saku; Internal
    This isn't what I was hoping for!
[10:08] Saku; Internal
    Hey!
[10:10] Saku
    I was forced to practice for two hours...
SIGN    Wheeze Pant
[10:20] Narration
    Doesn't realize he's doing it out loud.
[10:25] Saku
    I'm home, Yukichi.
[10:29] Saku
    I'm already at my limit.
    I can't move another muscle.
[10:34] Saku
    I don't even have the energy to eat.
[10:39] Saku
    Th-The smell of pork soup,
    hokke fish, and Chinese salad!
[10:44] Saku
    Thanks for the meal!
[10:48] Saku
    So delicious!
[10:49] Saku
    Eating Yukichi's food is
    the best when you're tired.
[10:53] Saku
    I can feel the warmth!
[10:56] Saku
    Do you have another
    serving of this pork soup?!
[11:02] Saku
    Huh? What's this?!
SIGN    Hmph!!
[11:04] Saku
    I'm allowed to drink another one today?!
[11:07] Saku
    What's going on?!
[11:26] Saku
    It's the weekend!
[11:28] Saku
    I'm going to laze around all day!
[11:31] Saku
    Ow!
SIGN    Gonk
[11:32] Saku
    What?!
[11:34] Saku
    You should let me pet you a bit!
[11:39] Saku
    What's the point of having such
    luxurious fur if I can't pet it?
[11:42] Saku
    Stingy!
SIGN    Zmoosh...
[11:45] Saku
    I'm sorry for being cocky!
[11:47] Saku
    A cat's luxurious fur is all for itself!
[11:51] Saku
    I'm so sorry!
[11:54] Narration
    Sunday.
[11:59] Saku
    I slept so well.
[12:01] Saku
    It's already the afternoon.
[12:02] Saku
    Yukichi?
[12:06] Saku
    Huh? Did he go shopping?
[12:09] Saku
    Oh, I see brunch waiting for me!
[12:11] Saku
    Thanks for the mea...
[12:14] Narration
    Yukichi's purse.
[12:16] Saku
    Huh?
[12:18] Saku
    Huh? Huh?
[12:19] Saku
    His purse?! There's money in it!
[12:21] Saku
    Huh?!
[12:23] Saku
    Yukichi actually forgot something?!
[12:26] Saku;Internal
    Maybe he has a fever?!
[12:28] Saku;Internal
    People say that animals tend to
    hide the fact that they're sick!
[12:32] Saku;Internal
    No. No. I'm probably overreacting.
[12:36] Saku;Internal
    Huh?
[12:38] Saku;Internal
    But where do I take him if he's really sick?!
[12:43] Saku;Internal
    NASA?!
[12:44] Saku
    Yukichi!
[12:51] Saku
    Oh! Nishina-san!
[12:52] Rio
    Welco...
[12:55] Rio
    Whoa! Yukichi-san's...
[12:57] Rio
    I-It's been a while.
[13:00] Saku
    Oh! I'm sorry about leaving
    you behind like that last time.
[13:03] (Flashback) Rio
    S-Someone! Help!
[13:05] (Flashback) Ex-Boyfriend
    A bear?!
[13:07] (Flashback) Rio
    Don't call me stupid!
[13:09] (Flashback) Ex-Boyfriend
    You stupid bear!
[13:32] Saku
    Were you all right after?
[13:35] Rio
    I really wanted to thank you
    for helping me last time.
[13:39] Rio
    He actually stopped bothering me after that.
[13:42] Rio
    Please let me thank you properly sometime!
[13:44] Saku
    No, no! You don't need to do that!
[13:46] Saku
    I even let you take care
    of the police last time...
[13:49] Rio
    U-Um, may I ask you for your name?!
[13:52] Saku
    Oh, I'm Fukuzawa.
[13:54] Saku; Internal
    This reminds me of
    the first time I met Yuri-chan.
[13:57] Yuri
    Senpai!
[13:58] Rio
    Fukuzawa-san...
[14:00] Rio
    Oh, so, Yukichi-san must be Fukuzawa Yuki—
[14:05] Saku
    That's right.
[14:06] Saku
    My parents were planning to give me
    that name if I'd been a boy.
[14:10] Saku
    That's right! Did Yukichi stop by here?!
[14:13] Rio
    Y-Yes, he did.
[14:17] Rio
    He was getting a very warm welcome
     from our manager over there...
[14:21] Manager
    Thank you for visiting our store once again!
[14:24] Manager
    Did you have any problems
    during your visit today?
[14:25] Saku; Internal
    Why?!
[14:26] Manager
    Our cat goods are fully
    stocked today, as well!
[14:26] Rio
    Our manager really likes cats. I'm sorry.
[14:30] Saku
    Oh, no. Thank you.
[14:30] Manager
    Please take your time to browse our wares!
[14:32] Saku
    I'm sorry for letting a cat shop
    at a store that sells food.
[14:36] Rio
    The manager allows it.
[14:39] Rio
    I'm sure it's fine since we've never
    gotten a complaint about him, either.
[14:42] Rio
    Actually, people seem to like his visits.
[14:45] Saku
    I-I see. Thank goodness.
[14:49] Saku; Internal
    We live together, but there's
    a lot I don't know about him.
[14:53] Saku; Internal
    He's more familiar with
    the neighborhood than I am.
[14:57] Saku
    Oh, I should go say hello to the manager.
[15:03] Saku; Internal
    As his owner.
[15:04] Rio
    Oh, wait! If possible, please stay hidden.
[15:08] Rio
    It'll be really gross if he discovers
    new information about Yukichi-san
[15:12] Rio
    and he gets even more fixated.
[15:15] Saku; Internal
    Looks like he's way more familiar
    with others than I thought.
[15:19] Rio
    Oh! He's finally escaped!
[15:22] Saku
    Hey, Yukichi!
[15:25] Rio
    Good work.
[15:29] Saku
    You forgot your purse, so I brought it over.
[15:32] Saku
    Jeez! How can you go shopping without money?
[15:36] Rio
    Money? Huh? But Yukichi-san...
SIGN    Swp...
[15:42] Rio
    Doesn't he pay with his card now?
[15:44] Saku; Internal
    Cashless?!
[15:47] Rio
    Thank you.
[15:49] Rio
    He started using it right after we
    started our reward points program.
[15:53] Rio
    He uses the point card and
    coupons very skillfully.
[15:56] Saku
    Such a fearsome cat!
[16:03] Saku
    I jumped to conclusions,
    but I'm glad it wasn't anything serious.
[16:07] Saku
    I thought you were running a fever
    when I discovered you forgot something.
[16:11] Saku
    I'm sure there aren't many veterinarians
    that could examine you, Yukichi.
[16:15] Saku
    What should we do in the future?
SIGN    Nakayoshi Animal Hospital
[16:21] Saku
    No way!
[16:22] Saku
    That's a normal animal hospital!
[16:25] Saku
    I only took you there once
    when you were a kitten!
[16:28] Saku
    Let's hurry home!
[16:29] Saku
    I'm hungry!
[16:33] Saku
    Come on! Rare! Come on!
[16:36] Narration
    Since she brought the cash,
SIGN    Gacha
    Gacha
    Gacha
[16:37] Saku
    Come on! Rare! Come on!
[16:38] Narration
    she gave Yukichi permission for extra
    tries on the UMYU-Sea gacha machine.
[16:45] Yukichi; Internal
    I am a cat.
[16:48] Yukichi; Internal
    Ever since that snowy night,
    I've found it to be strange.
[16:58] Yukichi; Internal
    Why doesn't anyone come to collect
    the garbage from this trash dump?
[17:04] Yukichi; Internal
    And why doesn't this human
    mind this wretched state?!
[17:11] Yukichi; Internal
    Now she's even sleeping
    at the front entrance?!
SIGN    Meow
[17:18] Saku
    Huh? It's morning?!
[17:20] Saku
    Whoa! Sorry, Yukichi!
[17:22] Saku
    You must be hungry!
[17:23] Saku
    I'll pour you some kibble
    and water right now!
[17:25] Yukichi; Internal
    Though she never forgets
    to take care of me.

[17:30] Saku
    Hurry! Hurry!
[17:32] Yukichi; Internal
    She fails to take care of herself.
[17:36] Yukichi; Internal
    A stray cat knows.
[17:39] Saku
    Shoot! I'm missing a button! Oh, who cares!
[17:39] Yukichi; Internal
    A creature that cannot even take care
    of itself cannot live for long.
[17:43] Yukichi; Internal
    She'll just drag me down with her if I stay.
[17:46] Yukichi; Internal
    I should leave as soon as I find the chance.
[17:49] Saku
    I'm off!
[17:58] Yukichi; Internal
    The perfect chance!
[18:00] Yukichi; Internal
    Now, is the time to leave!
[18:08] Mei
    My, what a lovely day.
[18:12] Yukichi; Internal
    That human is carrying trash bags with her.
[18:15] Yukichi; Internal
    Today must be trash day!
[18:19] Yukichi; Internal
    Well, I can take care of a bag
    to pay her back for her kindness.
[18:41] Yukichi; Internal
    It was so easy.
    Anyone should be able to do this.
[18:45] Yukichi; Internal
    I should take another out.
[18:48] Yukichi; Internal
    No! No!
[18:49] Yukichi; Internal
    What am I trying to go back for?!
[18:53] Mei
    Oh, no.
[18:55] Mei
    Saku-chan left her door open.
[18:58] Mei
    She really doesn't look after herself.
[19:01] Yukichi; Internal
    So that human is called Saku.
[19:03] Mei
    I should at least close the door for her.
[19:07] Yukichi; Internal
    Please do so.
[19:09] Yukichi; Internal
    "Saku."
[19:10] Yukichi; Internal
    I will remember your name...
[19:18] Yukichi; Internal
    ...though we will probably
    never cross paths again.
[19:29] (Flashback) Saku
    I'm late!
[19:30] (Flashback) Saku
    I fell asleep in my suit!
[19:33] (Flashback) Saku
    A c-c-cockroach in the b-b-bathroom!
SIGN    Yukichi's House
[19:39] (Flashback) Saku
    Yukichi...
[19:49] (Flashback) Saku
    I bought some cans of cat food!
[20:11] (Flashback) Saku
    If you have nowhere to go,
    how about coming with me?
[20:21] Mei
    Did something just run by?
[20:28] Yukichi; Internal
    What?
[20:30] Yukichi; Internal
    I thought of her stupid face
    and my body moved on its own.
[20:41] Yukichi; Internal
    I see.
[20:43] Yukichi; Internal
    This place must already be my home.
SIGN    Yukichi's House
[20:48] Yukichi; Internal
    A creature that cannot even take care
    of itself cannot live for long.
[20:51] Yukichi; Internal
    I do not wish to die together.
[20:56] Yukichi; Internal
    So I merely need to
    take care of her myself.
SIGN    Meow
[21:03] Yukichi; Internal
    With my own paws!
[21:08] Saku
    I'm home.
[21:11] Saku
    I bought some food and stuff.
[21:13] Yukichi; Internal
    However, don't be mistaken, worthless human.
[21:18] Saku
    Eat to your heart's content!
[21:21] Saku
    Lately, you've been eating a lot.
    Is it because you're growing?
[21:25] Yukichi; Internal
    This is all for the sake
    of tomorrow's cat can.
[21:29] Yukichi; Internal
    First, I must be able to
    open that door on my own!
SIGN    Next Episode
[23:07] Yukichi
    A masterful cat knows.
[23:09] Yukichi
    You can easily make rice balls
    using saran wrap and a cup.
[23:13] Yukichi
    Give it a try.
[23:15] Yukichi
    Next episode: "The Masterful Cat
    Is Depressed Tomorrow As Well."
SIGN    Can
SIGN    The Masterful Cat Is Depressed Tomorrow As Well
[23:19] Yukichi
    Even tomorrow, taking care
    of my owner is troublesome.