E6 - The Secrets of the Thief

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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Tokaido Highway
    Utsunoya Pass, Suruga
[00:06] Hei
    Sorry, Chugo, for making you
    accompany me to my father's grave.
[00:13] Chu
    Chief!
[00:14] Girl
    I'm exhausted!
[00:15] Girl
    Want to stop by again?
[00:16] Girl
    You bet!
[00:17] Chu
    Did you see that?
[00:19] Chu
    They really aren't like the girls in Edo!
[00:22] Chu
    They've got a distinct,
    wild flavor to them.
[00:28] Chu
    Speaking of which, are you hungry?
[00:30] Chu
    I wonder what the local specialty is...
[00:34] Hei
    Hey, Chugo.
[00:36] Chu
    Yes?
[00:37] Hei
    We'll part ways here.
[00:39] Hei
    I'd like to proceed in my own time.
[00:41] Hei
    You go on ahead to the post station.
[00:43] Chu
    Oh, I couldn't!
[00:46] Chu
    Your wife insisted that I look after you!
[00:53] Hei
    That nag, Hisae...
[01:00] Chu
    I'm a member of the
    Arson & Theft Department!
[01:02] Chu
    I could never accept a bri—
[01:04] Hei
    This could buy you your fill of that
    'wild flavor' outside of Edo, right?
[01:17] Hei
    Rabbits are such docile creatures.
[01:20] Hei
    At last, I can enjoy the quiet.
SIGN    The Secrets of the Thief
[02:47] Bandit
    Who the hell are you?
[03:00] Numa
    I am the magistrate of Mitsuke-juku
    in Enshu, Numata Jinzo!
[03:06] Numa
    Why are you protecting these criminals?
[03:12] Hei
    Criminals?
[03:13] Numa
    Yes.
[03:14] Numa
    They're servants of the Mitsuke-juku
    brewery belonging to Masuya Ichigoro,
[03:19] ---
    Tadaroku and Omoyo.
[03:21] Numa
    They stole money from
    their master, Ichigoro,
[03:26] ---
    then tried to elope.
[03:28] Numa
    They are utterly depraved!
[03:30] Man
    That's right.
[03:34] Hei
    Is this true?
[03:36] Tada
    Yes...
[03:59] Zen
    My!
[04:01] Zen
    Hello there, sir!
[04:07] Zen
    I saw those moves of yours!
[04:08] Zen
    Like lightning!
[04:10] Zen
    Whoosh! Crash!
[04:12] Zen
    I couldn't believe my eyes!
[04:14] Zen
    You must be a well-renowned samurai, eh?
[04:17] Zen
    Well? Am I right?
[04:17] Hei
    Another annoying fly...
[04:22] Zen
    Wait a minute, sir!
[04:25] Zen
    The name's Zenpachi.
[04:28] Zen
    I come here frequently to hawk my wares.
[04:34] Hei
    Delicious!
[04:35] Zen
    Right?
[04:36] Zen
    Now about that man, Masaya Ichigoro,
     that they mentioned...
[04:40] Zen
    In addition to brewing, he's a
    moneylender who runs a brothel!
[04:45] Zen
    He's known in the area as a right bastard!
[04:48] Zen
    He starves his servants and
    works them like slaves.
[04:52] Zen
    Rumors say he treats them worse than cattle!
[04:55] Zen
    I'll bet you those two ran off because
    they couldn't take it anymore!
[04:58] Zen
    And the money they took was just two ryo!
[05:03] Zen
    I think they've been through hell.
[05:07] Zen
    Don't you agree, sir?
[05:08] Zen
    Wait, what?
[05:12] Hei
    Sorry, old man.
[05:14] Hei
    It's my first solo trip in a while.
[05:16] Hei
    I want to take it at my own pace.
[05:19] Hei
    Although, I must say...
[05:22] Hei
    I didn't even notice him sneaking up on me.
SIGN    Shima-ya Inn
[05:42] Zen
    Sir!
[05:44] Zen
    I'll wash your back!
[05:46] Hei
    I guess I don't have a choice!
[05:48] Zen
    That's the way!
[05:54] Zen
    Look at that musculature!
[05:57] Zen
    How many men have you slain, sir?
[06:00] Hei
    Quite a few, I suppose.
[06:03] Zen
    He says it like it's nothing!
[06:05] Zen
    Very impressive!
[06:08] Zen
    Sir... Why don't you tell
    me your name already?
[06:17] Hei
    It's... Kimura.
[06:22] Hei
    Kimura Heizo.
[06:24] Zen
    Kimura Heizo?
[06:26] Zen
    What a cool name!
[06:27] Zen
    I really like it!
[06:29] Zen
    Well then, Kimura-sama, where are you headed?
[06:33] Hei
    Wherever my legs and the wind
    take me. A wanderer's life.
[06:37] Zen
    I see!
[06:39] Zen
    A wanderer's life, eh?
[06:41] Zen
    I like you even more now, Kimura-sama!
[06:44] Zen
    Or Hei-san, I should say!
[06:46] Hei
    Hei-san, is it?
[06:48] Hei
    Very impressive.
[06:49] Zen
    Really, it's nothing.
[06:52] Zen
    Hei-san...
[06:53] Zen
    Rather, Kimura Heizo-sama.
[06:55] Hei
    Why the sudden formality?
[06:57] Zen
    You said before you lived a wanderer's life.
[07:01] Hei
    Yes.
[07:02] Hei
    Ronin like me are a dime a dozen these days.
[07:06] Hei
    Men with no future, no dreams, and no hopes.
[07:11] Zen
    Kimura-sama. I was wondering
    if you'd help me with my work.
[07:17] Hei
    Oh? What's your trade, exactly?
[07:20] Zen
    Theft.
[07:23] Zen
    I go by the name Isuga no Zenpachi.
[07:27] Zen
    I've always worked on my own,
[07:30] Zen
    but I've really come to
    like you, Kimura-sama.
[07:34] Zen
    What do you think?
[07:41] Zen
    C'mon, Hei-san!
[07:43] Zen
    I'm serious about this!
[07:45] Hei
    Sorry, sorry.
[07:47] Hei
    I thought it might be something like that.
[07:50] Hei
    All right. It sounds interesting.
[07:53] Zen
    Then...
[07:54] Hei
    Sure. If I can be useful, use me.
[07:58] Zen
    I see, I see!
[08:00] Zen
    How delightful!
[08:02] Zen
    Well, then...
[08:05] Zen
    One word of warning, though,
    Hei-san: No killing.
[08:08] Zen
    No raping women, either.
[08:10] Zen
    And the most important of all...
[08:13] Zen
    We don't steal from good people trying
    to make their way earnestly in the world.
[08:19] Zen
    The greedy folks who navigate the world
    making others suffer to feed their fortunes...
[08:25] Zen
    They're the only ones we're
    allowed to steal from.
[08:29] Hei
    You don't have to tell me.
[08:32] Zen
    Then, a drink to our bond!
[08:37] Zen
    Now, let's get on to your first job.
[08:39] Zen
    Our target is...
[08:40] Hei
    Masuya Ichigoro?
[08:42] Zen
    That's my Hei-san!
[08:44] Zen
    You're so quick on the uptake!
SIGN    Masu-ya
[08:51] Zen
    Now, Hei-san...
SIGN    Masu
[08:54] Sign
    You know Numata the magistrate there.
[08:57] Sign
    The man standing next to him laughing is...
[08:59] Hei
    Master of the Masu-ya, Masuya Ichigoro?
[09:02] Zen
    Yes.
[09:05] Zen
    You see that, Hei-san?
[09:06] Zen
    That Numata guy doesn't just look the
    other way on Greedy Goro's wicked deeds.
[09:12] Zen
    He's a real piece of work who
    arrests anyone who gets in his way.
[09:18] Zen
    I really hate authority types to begin with.
[09:22] Zen
    They strut around like they own the place
    and push the weak around for sport!
[09:27] Zen
    Aren't I right, Hei-san?
[09:31] Hei
    Anyway... what will happen
    to those two they took in?
[09:37] Zen
    Probably throw them somewhere
    in the mansion and torture them.
[09:42] Zen
    To set an example to the others.
[09:46] Zen
    I stole from the Masu-ya once five years ago.
[09:50] Hei
    A five-year interval, eh?
[09:51] Hei
    You think you can pull it off?
[09:53] Zen
    It's no fun to do it the same way twice.
[09:56] Zen
    Have a look, now.
[09:58] Hei
    What about those two? You won't save them?
[10:02] Zen
    Don't get the wrong idea, Hei-san.
[10:05] Zen
    We're thieves, that's it.
[10:06] Zen
    All we're after is the money.
[10:11] Hei
    Is that how it works?
SIGN    Thief Secrets
[10:15] Sign
    What's that?
[10:17] Sign
    It looks like a notebook.
[10:19] Zen
    Never you mind.
[10:21] Zen
    The job is tomorrow.
[10:24] Zen
    Let's sleep early tonight.
[10:37] Hei
    What's wrong? Your stomach?
[10:38] Zen
    It's really nothing.
[10:41] Zen
    It happens all the time.
[10:43] Zen
    It'll settle soon enough.
[10:51] Zen
    Now, Hei-san.
[10:52] Zen
    If I don't make it back by
    two o'clock in the morning...
[10:55] Hei
    Yes.
[10:56] Hei
    I'll do as we discussed.
SIGN    Brewery
[11:02] Zen
    Listen up, Hei-san.
[11:03] Zen
    This is the plan.
[11:05] Zen
    First, I'll burst in, dressed
    as a wealthy patron.
[11:10] Zen
    I'm a traveler, you see,
[11:12] Zen
    and I simply couldn't forget
    the taste of Masuya-san's wine.
[11:16] Zen
    I was wondering if this could
    buy me a two-handled keg.
[11:21] Ichi
    How very generous!
[11:22] Ichi
    Thank you very kindly, sir!
[11:25] Ichi
    Someone bring tea for this man!
[11:26] Zen
    People come and go frequently in the Masu-ya.
[11:29] Zen
    I'll converse with the employees
    as I wait for my chance.
[11:33] Zen
    Once another wealthy patron appears,
    I'll make my move.
[11:38] Ban
    Well, well!
[11:40] Ban
    Welcome, Lord Numata!
[11:43] Ban
    I'll withdraw from the employees' sight.
[11:46] Ban
    I believe I'm in the way, so I'll
    leave through the back entrance.
[11:57] Hei
    That Zenpachi... I wonder
    if he's snuck his way in.
[12:03] Hei
    Bunny Boy!
[12:05] Hei
    Did he come to buy women?
[12:07] Hei
    There you are!
[12:10] Hei
    He won't be getting much sleep tonight.
[12:14] Hei
    But Chugo... my own entertainments
    will be much more amusing.
[12:24] Zen
    Hei-san, keep quiet.
[12:27] Hei
    I get it now... infiltrating in
     the day. It's impressive.
[12:32] Hei
    Zenpachi's incredible.
[12:35] Hei
    He's got the night vision of a cat.
[12:39] Zen
    This is where he keeps his money!
[12:42] Hei
    What about the lock?
[12:44] Zen
    Easily dealt with.
[12:47] Zen
    There we go. That's my good girl!
[12:52] Hei
    Nice work, old man.
[12:55] Zen
    There's no girl in the world
    who won't spread for me.
[13:01] Hei
    There's so much!
[13:03] Zen
    That Greedy Goro... he's really got a haul.
[13:07] Hei
    Sir, what are you...
[13:09] Hei
    Gross!
[13:10] Zen
    We're in the house of a real bag of shit.
[13:13] Zen
    I can't help meeting like with like.
[13:15] Hei
    I've never met a thief like you before.
[13:23] Zen
    I sure would like two more sets of
    hands to help me carry all this.
[13:29] Zen
    I'm left with no choice.
[13:30] Zen
    We'll have to find those two
    imprisoned young people.
[13:35] Hei
    Was this your plan all along?
[13:37] Zen
    Don't be absurd.
[13:39] Zen
    I'm making this up on the fly!
[13:44] Man
    I'll get another helping of her tonight.
[13:46] Man
    It'll be a long night.
[13:48] Chu
    Please! Please stop!
[13:51] Omo
    Stop it, please!
[13:53] ---
    No more!
[13:56] Man
    What, time for a shift change al—
[13:59] Man
    Hey, who are you?!
[14:04] Zen
    We need your help.
[14:21] Zen
    They saw us, eh?
[14:23] Numa
    Where are they? Find them!
[14:26] Numa
    There!
[14:27] Numa
    Is that them?
[14:28] Numa
    How about this way?
[14:29] Numa
    That way?
[14:30] Numa
    Find them!
[14:32] Ichi
    Hey! How can you be napping
    at a time like this?
[14:36] Numa
    You people! Did the thieves come here?
[14:39] Maid
    What?
[14:40] Maid
    I'm sure I'd have seen them.
[14:42] Maid
    Thieves? Here?
[14:44] Maid
    How terrifying!
[14:47] Numa
    Where could they have gone?
[14:48] Ichi
    What are you doing? You get to looking, too!
[14:54] Maid
    It should be safe now.
[14:57] Hei
    Thank you for the help.
[14:58] Zen
    Thank you. You saved us.
[15:00] Maid
    It's nothing.
[15:01] Maid
    I liked sticking it to him.
[15:03] Maid
    Wait.
[15:05] Maid
    Make it to safety, won't you?
[15:09] Zen
    Yes, leave it to me!
[15:11] Hei
    But I'm impressed.
[15:14] ---
    You knew the servants would protect us?
[15:16] Zen
    I know how it feels to be
    treated badly by an employer.
[15:27] Hei
    What are you doing?
[15:28] Zen
    Just watch and see.
[15:33] Hei
    A hidden passage?
[15:35] Zen
    Greedy Goro probably designed it in case of
    fire or an attack so he could escape on his own.
[15:42] Man
    That way!
[15:43] Man
    I heard a sound that way!
[15:45] Zen
    Hurry!
[15:46] Zen
    This should take us outside!
[15:59] Hei
    What's wrong, old man?
[16:04] Zen
    It's not here.
[16:05] Zen
    Damn it...
[16:06] Hei
    What is it? What's gone?
[16:09] Zen
    Sorry, I just dropped something.
[16:13] Zen
    Don't worry about me.
[16:14] Zen
    Head off on your own.
SIGN    Thief Secrets
[16:43] Zen
    H-Hei-san!
[16:50] Hei
    Don't worry.
[16:51] Hei
    I gave them the light and sent them on ahead.
[16:54] Hei
    You have better night vision than I.
[16:56] Hei
    I'll be your legs.
[16:58] Hei
    You be my eyes!
[17:01] Zen
    Right!
[17:09] Zen
    Here's your share.
[17:11] Tada
    There's so much.
[17:13] Zen
    Take the money and find
    yourselves a new home.
[17:17] Tada
    Thank you! Thank you!
[17:19] Omo
    We'll owe you for life!
[17:21] Zen
    No need for all that.
[17:22] Zen
    Go on, go on!
[17:28] Zen
    What is it, sir?
[17:30] Hei
    I like that expression on you.
[17:32] Zen
    Enough of that. You're embarrassing me!
[17:39] Numa
    Find them! Find them!
[17:41] Numa
    They can't have gone far!
SIGN    T
    h
    i
    e
    f
    
    S
    e
    c
    r
    e
    t
    s
[17:44] Hei
    Thief Secrets?
[17:45] Zen
    Go ahead and read it.
[17:49] Hei
    Hey old man, this is—
[17:51] Zen
    It explains the best nights for
    thieving, how to pick lock
[17:54] ---
    and how to get away if you fail...
[17:57] Zen
    Everything I've learned
    about thieving in my life.
[18:03] Zen
    And not just that.
[18:05] Zen
    From Oshu in the north
    to Nagato in the west,
[18:07] ---
    it lists the merchant and warrior
    mansions I've hit, thirty-two in all.
[18:11] Zen
    It lists their family traditions,
    the dispositions of master and wife,
[18:14] ---
    and even the number of servants.
[18:17] Hei
    Nothing in Edo, though?
[18:19] Zen
    Edo's the one place I avoid.
[18:21] Zen
    They've got this annoying old bloke with
    the Arson & Theft Department called Onihei.
[18:25] Zen
    Take it from me and stay
    away from Edo, Hei-san.
[18:30] Zen
    What do you think, Hei-san?
[18:32] Zen
    Will you take it from me?
[18:35] Hei
    But old man... this is your treasure.
     It's like your soul.
[18:41] Zen
    That's why I want you to have it, Hei-san.
[18:48] Zen
    I don't have much longer to go.
[18:50] Zen
    Six months, at best.
[18:54] Hei
    I see.
[18:56] Hei
    That's why, after working
    so long on your own,
[18:58] Hei
    you sought out a partner in crime?
[19:01] Hei
    To find a successor to your
    "secrets of the thief"...
[19:06] Zen
    That's right.
[19:07] Zen
    But it couldn't just be anyone.
[19:10] Zen
    Hei-san, if you take over for me,
[19:13] Zen
    then even if I die, my soul—
    the soul of Zenpachi—
[19:18] ---
    could continue to live on inside you.
[19:20] Zen
    That's how it felt to me.
[19:23] Zen
    Please, Hei-san.
[19:25] Zen
    Take it, won't you?
[19:26] Zen
    Please, take it!
[19:29] Hei
    Zenpachi...
[19:32] Zen
    H-How?!
[19:34] Numa
    Last night, you infiltrated
    the Masu-ya brewery,
[19:36] ---
    stole the money,
    and kidnapped employees there!
[19:40] Numa
    Turn yourselves in!
[19:43] Hei
    Do you have proof of this?
[19:45] Numa
    We'll show no mercy if you resist!
[19:49] Hei
    I might not mind slaying authority
    types like you once in a while.
[19:55] Chu
    Hold it, hold it, hold it!
[19:58] Chu
    What are you people doing?!
[20:00] Chu
    Th-This is the chief of the Arson &
    Theft Department, Hasegawa Heizo-sama!
[20:06] Zen
    O-Onihei?!
[20:09] Hei
    Numata-san, was it?
[20:10] Hei
    Zenpachi here has been
    with me since last night.
[20:15] Hei
    He couldn't have robbed the Masu-ya.
[20:17] Numa
    B-But...
[20:18] Hei
    What's wrong? You don't believe me?
[20:24] Hei
    You're taking bribes from
    the Masu-ya, aren't you?
[20:36] Hei
    I'm just a traveler for today.
[20:38] Hei
    I'll let you go this once.
[20:41] Hei
    You won't be so lucky next time.
[20:44] Hei
    Sorry about that, old man.
[20:46] Zen
    M-My back!
[20:49] Doc
    You're all better now.
[20:53] Doc
    This is amazing! Doctors are truly divine!
[20:57] Hei
    Happy for you, old man.
[21:02] Zen
    If you want to arrest me, go ahead.
[21:05] Zen
    Though I might not live
    through my sentencing.
[21:10] Hei
    Don't be silly.
[21:11] Hei
    You're not dying.
[21:14] Hei
    Am I right, doc?
[21:15] Doc
    The pain in your stomach is psychosomatic.
[21:20] Doc
    That means it's all in your head.
[21:24] Doc
    You convinced yourself you didn't have long
    to live and you've been stewing over it.
[21:28] Doc
    That's the source of your pain.
[21:31] Zen
    Then how much longer do I have?
[21:33] Doc
    I'd say ten years at the least.
SIGN    Thief Secrets
[21:42] Hei
    Thanks for looking after me on the road.
[21:44] Hei
    Take care.
[21:46] Zen
    Sir...
[21:47] Hei
    But next time we meet,
    I won't go so easy on you.
[21:51] Hei
    Let's go, Chugo.
[21:52] Zen
    A-Are you sure you want to let me go?
[21:55] Zen
    Hei-san... I mean, Hasegawa-sama?
[21:57] Hei
    What are you talking about?
[21:59] Hei
    Today, I'm Kimura Heizo.
[22:02] Zen
    Goodbye, Hei-san!
SIGN    Next Time
[23:41] Zen
    The captured thief is a young
    man Heizo met when he was young.
[23:47] Zen
    What is his tragic past?
[23:50] ---
    Next time on Onihei:
SIGN    The Pot-Smashing Boy
[23:51] ---
    "The Pot-Smashing Boy."