10 - The Weakest Shogun

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Taro
    Your extra dango.
    And your apricot-seed jelly.
[00:05] Hajime
    Th-Thank you for waiting!
[00:07] Nio
    If Granny's right...
[00:08] Nio
    and the people I meet are my treasures...
[00:11] Nio
    Welcome!
[00:14] Nio
    then that meeting must have been...
[00:19] Nio
    the greatest treasure of my life.
SIGN    Blue Miburo
SIGN    Blue Miburo
SIGN    Blue Miburo
SIGN    Blue Miburo
SIGN    Blue Miburo
SIGN    Blue Miburo
SIGN    Blue Miburo
SIGN    Blue Miburo
SIGN    Blue Miburo
SIGN    Blue Miburo
SIGN    Blue Miburo
SIGN    Blue Miburo
SIGN    Blue Miburo
SIGN    Blue Miburo
SIGN    Blue Miburo
SIGN    Blue Miburo
[02:01] Kikuchiyo
    Water.
[02:03] Kikuchiyo
    Please, water.
[02:04] Nio
    A-Are you all right?
[02:06] Nio
    You need water? Coming right up.
[02:15] Kikuchiyo
    Another!
[02:17] Hajime
    He wants another.
[02:18] Taro
    Gimme a break!
[02:20] Nio
    Here you go.
[02:31] Kikuchiyo
    Is this a dango shop?
[02:33] Nio
    Yes, and a good one.
[02:35] Taro
    You came in here not knowing that?
[02:38] Kikuchiyo
    I suddenly feel peckish.
[02:41] Taro
    Okay. There's your seat.
[02:45] Kikuchiyo
    No, I want to sit in the back.
[02:47] Taro
    Hey, don't be so picky.
[02:50] Nio
    I'm sorry.
[02:51] Nio
    We haven't cleared that table yet.
[02:53] Kikuchiyo
    No, no, no! I only want to sit there!
[02:57] Taro
    Who the hell do you think you are?
    You rich kids are all spoiled brats.
[03:01] Granny
    Taro! That's a customer!
[03:03] Taro
    Yes, ma'am!
[03:05] Kikuchiyo
    Taro!
[03:07] Kikuchiyo
    Bring me tea.
[03:09] Taro
    You don't get to call me "Taro"!
SIGN    Anko
SIGN    Isobe
SIGN    Mitarashi
SIGN    Kinako
[03:12] Nio
    We serve four types of dango,
    as well as tricolor dango.
[03:16] Kikuchiyo
    Really? I'll take them all.
[03:18] Nio
    Huh?
[03:19] Kikuchiyo
    I've got quite a sweet tooth.
     I'll eat the lot.
[03:25] Kikuchiyo
    It hurts! My tooth hurts!
[03:27] Kikuchiyo
    I forgot about my cavity!
[03:30] Nio
    Have some tea.
[03:31] Taro
    Nio! Don't humor him!
[03:33] Taro
    Hey, just so we're clear,
    you do have money, right?
[03:37] Kikuchiyo
    Money?
[03:43] Kikuchiyo
    Nope. Put it on my tab.
[03:45] Taro
    What?
[03:46] Taro
    We've got a runner!
[03:48] Taro
    You're not going anywhere.
[03:50] Okita; Todo; Nio; Taro; Hajime; Granny
    Hajime, guard that door!
[03:53] Hajime
    I don't take orders from you.
[03:58] Nio
    Um, excuse me for asking,
    but did you hurt your left hand?
[04:04] Kikuchiyo
    I merely bumped it. No need to fuss.
[04:13] Taro
    W-Welcome to the Chirinuya. Please come in.
[04:22] Kikuchiyo
    "Nio," was it? Flee.
[04:25] Nio
    Huh?
[04:32] Nio
    Who is this guy? He's dressed all in white.
[04:36] Kikuchiyo
    Leave this place at once.
[04:50] Nio
    No way. Is he going to
    swing that thing in here?
[04:54] Nio
    He's serious.
[04:56] Hajime
    Nio!
[05:14] Naozumi
    Brat.
[05:18] Granny
    Run for it, everybody!
[05:20] Granny
    Hajime!
[05:28] Taro
    I've got his sword!
[05:31] Hajime
    You lose.
[05:33] Naozumi
    Who are you?
[05:37] Nio
    We're Miburo.
[05:38] Nio
    We keep this city safe.
[05:42] Naozumi
    I see.
[05:50] Naozumi
    I see.
[05:55] Granny
    Y-You want some more?
[05:59] Taro
    H-He left?
[06:01] Granny
    Who does he think he is,
    making a mess of my restaurant?
[06:05] Nio
    Are you all right?
[06:07] Kikuchiyo
    Miburo?
[06:09] Kikuchiyo
    I see. I had no idea they had
    children like you in their ranks.
[06:14] Kikuchiyo
    This may be fate.
[06:19] Hajime
    What was that about?
[06:27] Hajime
    Taro! Shut that door, too!
[06:29] Hajime
    Hurry!
[06:30] Taro
    Huh? You're not the boss of me!
[06:32] Hajime
    He's still sitting out there!
[06:34] Granny
    What did you say?
[06:38] Nio
    Excuse me. What's your name?
[06:42] Kikuchiyo
    Kikuchiyo.
[06:43] Hajime
    Who are you? Who is that guy?
[06:47] Hajime
    Why is he after you?
[06:55] Naozumi
    Now, let the festivities begin.
[07:01] Nio
    Kikuchiyo-san.
[07:04] Taro
    What are you clamming up for?
[07:06] Taro
    Tell us already! What are you, slow?
[07:09] Nio
    Please, Kikuchiyo-san. I'd like to
    get through this situation somehow.
[07:14] Nio
    So please, tell us what you know.
[07:20] Kikuchiyo
    It happened suddenly.
    On the street in broad daylight.
[07:25] Kikuchiyo
    He came at me head-on.
[07:27] Kikuchiyo
    My attendants fought back,
    but it devolved into a brawl.
[07:31] Kikuchiyo
    I fled for my life and took refuge
     in this dango restaurant.
[07:36] Nio
    He attacked you in public?
[07:39] Nio
    Who is he?
[07:41] Taro
    He's crazy. What more do you need to know?
    We can't talk it out with a nutcase.
[07:47] Kikuchiyo
    I wonder how those I left behind fared.
[07:51] Hajime
    Do you know who he is?
[07:54] Kikuchiyo
    No, I have no idea.
[07:58] Kikuchiyo
    But I can think of any number of reasons
    why someone might want me dead.
[08:03] Hajime
    What?
[08:04] Nio
    Why?
[08:05] Taro
    Wh-What kind of crap did you pull?
[08:10] Taro
    Stay out!
[08:12] Hijikata
    What's going on? Let us in!
[08:17] Hijikata
    Stop horsing around.
[08:19] Okita
    What game are we playing?
[08:21] Todo
    Tell us if you're gonna stay over.
    We were worried about you.
[08:25] Nio
    Hijikata-san. Okita-san. And Todo-san, too.
[08:28] Granny
    My!
[08:29] Hijikata
    It's been too long, ma'am.
[08:32] Granny
    You haven't gotten any less handsome.
[08:34] Okita
    Seems a little early in the day
     to close up shop.
[08:37] Taro
    Just shut the door already.
[08:39] Taro
    Some wacko in white
    is sitting right outside.
[08:42] Okita
    Really?
[08:44] Okita
    I don't see anyone.
[08:46] Taro
    Huh? Where'd he go?
[08:50] Okita
    I didn't see anyone wearing white,
[08:54] Okita
    but some shady characters are
    keeping an eye on this place.
[09:01] Hajime
    So he's not alone?
[09:03] Okita
    Six in total, I think.
[09:05] Okita
    I could tell at a glance that
    they knew their business.
[09:08] Hijikata
    Make that seven. I spotted one around back.
[09:12] Todo
    We noticed them on the way in,
    but we couldn't just rush them, you know?
[09:17] Okita
    So would you care to fill us in?
[09:20] Okita
    I get the feeling
    something fun is going on here.
[09:23] Nio
    Oh, this is Kikuchiyo-san.
[09:26] Nio
    The scary man in white
    attacked him out of the blue.
[09:31] Okita
    "Scary"? What was he like?
[09:34] Taro
    He had a sword this long!
[09:37] Taro
    And he tried to swing it one-handed!
[09:39] Okita
    What? This thing?
[09:42] Okita
    How would you even swing it?
[09:44] Todo
    Whoa. That's gotta be six shaku long.
[09:47] Hijikata
    Kikuchiyo.
[09:49] Nio
    What's bothering you, Hijikata-san?
[09:52] Hijikata
    Well, I've never seen the man myself,
[09:55] Hijikata
    but I've heard that was his childhood name.
[09:58] Taro
    Wh-What do you mean?
[10:01] Hijikata
    Could you be...
[10:03] Hijikata
    Shogun Tokugawa Iemochi?
[10:05] Okita; Todo; Nio; Taro; Hajime; Granny
    Th-The Shogun?!
[10:09] Nio
    Wh-What about the Shogun?
[10:12] Todo
    The Shogun's the Shogun,
    genius. Japan's top dog.
[10:16] Kikuchiyo
    I wouldn't say that.
[10:19] Kikuchiyo
    I am the Seii Taishogun, charged to govern
     by command of His Imperial Majesty.
[10:25] Kikuchiyo
    Tokugawa or no, I'm the lord
    of a domain like any other.
[10:28] Nio
    Um, I see.
[10:30] Okita
    Then, you're really him?
[10:32] Todo
    You're Lord Tokugawa Iemochi,
    currently visiting Kyoto?
[10:36] Kikuchiyo
    Indeed.
[10:37] Nio
    What?!
[10:38] Todo
    For real?! The biggest of big shots?!
[10:41] Hijikata
    But why? You should be in Nijo Castle!
[10:44] Hajime
    Are you kidding me?
[10:47] Taro
    I... I figured that was it!
[10:51] Taro
    Mr. Top Dog, sir, I'm yours to the bitter end.
[10:54] Taro
    Your wish is my command.
[10:56] Nio
    Wow, talk about street smarts.
    He changed his tune quick.
[11:00] Okita
    He sure knows how to get by.
[11:01] Hajime
    No, pretty sure he sucks at it.
[11:04] Granny
    So what do we do now?
[11:05] Granny
    Doesn't this just make things worse?
[11:08] Okita
    Good point. Time is of the essence.
[11:12] Todo
    True. The way things are now,
    loads of people want the Shogun dead.
[11:17] Taro
    L-Let's call more Miburo.
    One of us should run for help.
[11:21] Hajime
    If we can get out of here.
[11:23] Hajime
    We'll be done for if they strike first.
[11:27] Nio
    We're closer to Nijo Castle here.
[11:30] Nio
    We could walk there in under an hour.
[11:35] Kikuchiyo
    We'd never make it.
[11:37] Hijikata
    The answer is obvious.
[11:39] Hijikata
    We'll escort the Shogun to the safety of
    Nijo Castle with only the forces we have here.
[11:44] Todo
    That's the only way.
[11:45] Kikuchiyo
    But I can't put you all at risk.
[11:48] Okita
    Don't worry.
[11:50] Okita
    We Miburo only came from Edo
    in the first place to guard you.
[11:56] Hijikata
    Now, let's talk specifics.
[11:59] Nio
    We ought to wait for evening.
[12:02] Nio
    I have an idea.
[12:05] Kikuchiyo
    A child? I hardly think—
[12:06] Hijikata
    Good. Let's hear it.
[12:07] Nio
    Here's the plan.
[12:09] Nio
    First, we split into two groups...
[12:19] Hijikata
    Right. It's time. I hope you're ready.
[12:22] Nio
    Yes, sir.
[12:23] Hijikata
    Failure is not an option.
[12:25] Todo
    Be ready for anything.
[12:26] Okita
    I'm all fired up.
[12:30] Taro
    Oh, please, please let us
    make it in one piece.
SIGN    Conquer
[12:37] Kikuchiyo
    Ma'am, I beg your pardon.
[12:40] Kikuchiyo
    I've brought my troubles
    to your establishment.
[12:43] Granny
    Hmph. I don't like you.
[12:45] Nio
    G-Granny, that's the Shogun!
[12:49] Granny
    I don't care if he's the Shogun
    or the Emperor himself.
[12:52] Granny
    Wrong is wrong.
[12:54] Granny
    You didn't lift a finger
    to save yourself from that attack.
[12:58] Granny
    Anyone would think you were waiting to die.
SIGN    Conquer
[13:01] Granny
    The people on top shouldn't be careless with
    their lives. It makes trouble for us lowly folk.
[13:08] Granny
    And leave commoners to commoners.
SIGN    Conquer
[13:12] Granny
    That's not your lookout.
[13:14] Granny
    You're a lord, so do a lord's work.
[13:17] Granny
    We've all got our own stations
    to stand our ground in.
[13:20] Granny
    That's what work's all about.
[13:26] Granny
    Look smart, Shogun!
[13:31] Kikuchiyo
    Thank you.
[13:33] Kikuchiyo
    Japan has been cursed with
    a youth like me for a shogun.
[13:38] Taro
    Way to go, Granny.
[13:40] Kikuchiyo
    But maybe I'm blessed...
[13:41] Nio
    You scared me, Granny!
[13:43] Granny
    I'm always putting my life on the line.
[13:45] Kikuchiyo
    to have subjects like these.
[13:54] Assassin A
    Lights.
[13:55] Assassin B
    Here they come.
[13:57] Naozumi
    Take Iemochi's head.
[14:01] Kikuchiyo
    Will I survive?
[14:05] Hijikata
    Let's move.
[14:08] Assassin A
    There they are.
[14:09] Assassin B
    It's Iemochi.
[14:13] Assassin C
    Huh? They split up.
[14:15] Assassin C
    Which way did Iemochi go?
[14:16] Assassin A
    Don't let anyone escape! After them!
[14:26] Nio
    There they go.
[14:27] Kikuchiyo
    I see. Quite the stratagem.
[14:30] Kikuchiyo
    But will they be safe? I wouldn't
    want them to die in my place.
[14:34] Nio
    Oh, no need to worry about that.
[14:37] Nio
    They're as tough as demons.
[14:42] Granny
    I'm the Shogun!
[14:43] Granny
    The Shogun! The Shogun!
[14:44] Hijikata
    Quiet, you old bat.
[14:48] Okita
    Well played, Heisuke.
[14:50] Okita
    I love the courtly laugh.
[14:52] Taro
    Run for it!
[14:53] Nio
    We'll count to 30, then take
    the backstreets to Nijo Castle.
[14:58] Kikuchiyo
    Right.
[15:04] Naozumi
    Well, now. What have we here?
[15:07] Nio
    H-How did he know?
[15:12] Naozumi
    So both groups were decoys?
    The numbers added up, though.
[15:17] Naozumi
    Oh, I get it. The old woman.
[15:21] Naozumi
    You planned to sneak Iemochi out after
    we'd left and the hubbub had died down.
[15:27] Naozumi
    Interesting. You thought this through.
[15:32] Naozumi
    Luck really wasn't on your side.
[15:36] Naozumi
    You see...
[15:38] Naozumi
    I only came back for this.
[15:41] Nio
    This couldn't be worse.
    It was all for nothing.
[15:47] Naozumi
    Get going.
[15:50] Naozumi
    I'll give you to the count of 10.
[15:58] Nio
    He's toying with us. This is a hunt to him.
[16:02] Nio
    Kikuchiyo-san!
[16:04] Nio
    Let's go.
[16:05] Naozumi
    One.
[16:07] Naozumi
    Two.
[16:09] Naozumi
    Three.
[16:21] Naozumi
    Go on. Run.
[16:26] Kikuchiyo
    Where are we going?
     Are we making for Nijo Castle?
[16:30] Nio
    With a slight detour.
[16:32] Nio
    We need to lose that guy first.
[16:35] Kikuchiyo
    Right.
[16:37] Nio
    Down here.
[16:51] Nio
    We'll slip through here.
[16:52] Kikuchiyo
    My, I'm impressed you
    know such narrow alleys.
[16:57] Nio
    I was born in this city.
[16:58] Kikuchiyo
    Must be your backyard.
[17:04] Nio
    Let's hide here and watch for a bit.
[17:06] Kikuchiyo
    No! I'm dead tired!
[17:09] Kikuchiyo
    Call a palanquin, I say!
[17:10] Nio
    Please be reasonable.
[17:14] Kikuchiyo
    What are you doing?
[17:15] Nio
    I doubt I can take him in a fair fight,
    so I hope this will come in handy.
[17:23] Kikuchiyo
    I'm a passable swordsman myself,
    but I don't fancy my odds, either.
[17:28] Nio
    Excuse me, Kikuchiyo-san...
[17:31] Nio
    Oh, I mean, my lord Shogun.
[17:34] Kikuchiyo
    "Kikuchiyo" will do.
[17:36] Nio
    Kikuchiyo-san, why did you leave Nijo Castle
    when people are out to get you?
[17:43] Nio
    Did you have important business?
[17:45] Kikuchiyo
    My people were reluctant to let me go.
[17:48] Kikuchiyo
    I suppose the outcome has proven them right.
[17:59] Nio
    A horse? What's it doing here?
[18:06] Kikuchiyo
    There, there. So you made it.
[18:10] Nio
    W-Were you riding this horse, by any chance?
[18:14] Kikuchiyo
    I was.
[18:15] Kikuchiyo
    You must have been terrified.
[18:18] Kikuchiyo
    What's wrong? Do horses frighten you?
[18:21] Nio
    N-No, they just make quite
    an impression up close.
[18:25] Kikuchiyo
    To be frank, I'd rather spend
    my life caring for birds and fish.
[18:29] Nio
    Huh?
[18:30] Kikuchiyo
    I never expected to become shogun.
[18:32] Kikuchiyo
    Can I do my duty? It doesn't feel real.
[18:36] Kikuchiyo
    I wanted to see people like yourselves.
[18:39] Kikuchiyo
    Commoners, to be blunt.
[18:44] Kikuchiyo
    I wanted to see what sort of people
    I rule over and have a duty to protect.
[18:51] Kikuchiyo
    Can you wait here?
    I'll send someone for you soon.
[18:57] Nio
    Um...
[18:59] Nio
    I heard you came from Edo to promise the
    Emperor that you'll drive out the foreigners.
[19:05] Kikuchiyo
    That's right.
[19:07] Kikuchiyo
    At least, that's what my entourage thinks.
[19:09] Nio
    What? Do you have other ideas, then?
[19:14] Kikuchiyo
    I cannot expel the barbarians.
[19:16] Nio
    What?
[19:18] Nio
    Y-You can't?
[19:20] Kikuchiyo
    I cannot.
[19:22] Nio
    I-I'm sorry. I just...
[19:24] Kikuchiyo
    The ports are already open.
[19:28] Kikuchiyo
    I cannot drive out the foreigners there
    and bar any more from entering.
[19:34] Kikuchiyo
    If I close off our land, the world
    will only pull further ahead of us.
[19:38] Kikuchiyo
    We haven't a moment more to waste.
[19:40] Nio
    What should we do, then?
[19:42] Kikuchiyo
    I don't know.
[19:44] Nio
    Won't opening up the country be disastrous?
[19:47] Nio
    I heard we'd be occupied or
     flooded with awful drugs.
[19:52] Kikuchiyo
    The country will open up,
[19:54] Kikuchiyo
    but I won't let the foreigners
    have it all their own way.
[19:57] Kikuchiyo
    We must all think of how to stop them.
[20:01] Kikuchiyo
    The time has come to pool our wisdom.
[20:03] Kikuchiyo
    At least, that's how it seems to me.
[20:08] Kikuchiyo
    I only hope I can convince
    our land to work in concert.
[20:11] Kikuchiyo
    Not everyone will prove receptive.
[20:14] Kikuchiyo
    Japan may split between anti-barbarian
    and pro-trade factions,
[20:18] Kikuchiyo
    although those aren't mutually exclusive.
[20:22] Kikuchiyo
    But I believe there are steps only a
     powerless, incompetent shogun can take.
[20:34] Kikuchiyo
    I won't let it come to civil war.
    Not while I live and breathe.
[20:39] Kikuchiyo
    Some may wish me dead...
[20:43] Kikuchiyo
    but my duty remains.
[20:46] Nio
    Kikuchiyo-san.
[20:49] Kikuchiyo
    But, oh, how I hate it!
[20:52] Kikuchiyo
    I wish I could just frolic with my horses.
[20:55] Kikuchiyo
    Being slashed or stabbed must hurt.
[20:57] Kikuchiyo
    I want no part of it.
[20:59] Kikuchiyo
    I'm exhausted. I don't want to walk.
[21:02] Nio
    Will you ride back, then?
[21:04] Kikuchiyo
    No. Never.
[21:07] Kikuchiyo
    I can't handle the reins with
     my left hand in this state.
[21:10] Kikuchiyo
    What if I injure the horse?
[21:12] Nio
    You're worried about the horse?
[21:15] Kikuchiyo
    Well, of course I am.
[21:21] Nio
    Kikuchiyo-san.
[21:23] Nio
    Don't worry.
[21:26] Nio
    We Miburo...
[21:33] Nio
    will keep you safe.
[21:37] Kikuchiyo
    Yes. I'm depending on it.
SIGN    The
    Weakest
SIGN    Shogun
SIGN    Next time
[23:23] Okita
    Okita Soji here.
[23:24] Okita
    Man, I never thought I'd meet the Shogun,
[23:28] Okita
    much less save him
    from some tough customers.
[23:31] Okita
    It seems like so much fun.
[23:33] Okita
    This really was worth leaving Edo for.
[23:38] Okita
    Maybe I ought to break out
    my specialty. It's been a while.
[23:44] Okita
    Next time: "True Strength."
[23:46] Okita
    You won't want to miss it.
SIGN    True Strength