3 - Turf War

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Zenos
    I figured this was coming...
[00:04] Lily
    What do you mean?
[00:06] Zenos
    After dealing with the lizardmen and
    the werewolves, here come the orcs.
[00:10] Zenos
    Their leader is a big deal, and made a
    fortune on the excavation of mana stones.
[00:14] Zenos
    It's been a month since I opened the clinic,
[00:17] Zenos
    and after this, I'll have dealt with the
    leaders of all the factions in the slums.
[00:22] Zenos
    Out of curiosity, would you say
    your boss can be reasoned with?
[00:26] Orc
    Lady Loewe is as wise as she is dignified.
[00:31] Zenos
    I sure hope so.
[00:33] Zenos
    Zophia's been dropping off
    extravagant gifts every day...
[00:36] Zenos
    And Lynga's been building a massive "palace"
    next door to make up for the mess she made.
[00:41] Zenos
    But if the head of the orcs is reasonable,
[00:43] Zenos
    I shouldn't need to worry
    about that kind of thing.
[00:45] Zenos
    So why didn't she come in person?
[00:48] Orc
    There have been lizardmen and werewolves
    coming and going from this place.
[00:52] Orc
    Do you really think I'd bring Lady
    Loewe to a place in enemy territory?
[00:59] Zenos
    How serious is it?
[01:00] Orc
    She can't be moved.
[01:05] Zenos
    You should've led with that.
SIGN    The Brilliant Healer's
    New Life in the Shadows
[02:41] Orc
    In here.
[02:47] Orc
    Lady Loewe, I've brought Zenos,
    the underground healer.
[02:51] Loewe
    Good of you to come.
[02:53] Loewe
    I am Loewe.
[02:55] Zenos
    So you're Loewe.
[02:56] Zenos
    How'd you hear about me?
[02:58] Loewe
    How could I not have?
[02:59] Loewe
    You're a celebrity to those who dwell
    in the underworld of the slums.
[03:03] Zenos
    Wow, really?
[03:04] Loewe
    The lizardmen and werewolves were raving,
[03:06] Loewe
    "There's this awesome healer! But I can't
    tell you about him or he'll attract trouble!"
[03:11] Loewe
    So I looked into you myself.
[03:14] Zenos
    Damn it, what part of
    "underground operation"
[03:17] Zenos
    made them want to spread
    my name around like that?!
[03:19] Loewe
    I'm told that you can provide any kind of
    healing as long as the price paid is equal.
[03:25] Zenos
    I've gotten tired of
    working for free, you see.
[03:27] Loewe
    Well, I find myself unable to move from
    here at the moment. Can you tell why?
[03:32] Zenos
    Is this a test? I guess I'll have to check.
[03:38] Zenos
    Scan.
[03:40] Loewe
    What are you doing?
[03:41] Zenos
    I don't see any external injuries,
    so I'm looking inside you.
[03:45] Loewe
    I've never heard of a
    healer who can do that.
[03:48] Zenos
    I'm curious how they heal anyone if they
    don't check what's going on inside.
[03:54] Zenos
    There's a lump in your abdomen.
[03:56] Zenos
    And I can sense mana...
[03:58] Zenos
    Is it a mana stone?
[04:00] Loewe
    Correct you are.
[04:01] Loewe
    Enchanted for Explosion at a
    particularly high potency, at that.
[04:05] Zenos
    Wait, did someone slip this in your food?
[04:07] Loewe
    Not at all! I mistook it for a
    rice ball and ate it, is all.
[04:10] Zenos
    So you're an idiot.
[04:11] Loewe
    Despite appearances,
    I have quite the appetite!
[04:14] Zenos
    I don't care!
[04:15] Zenos
    This is ridiculous. You'll expel it
    sooner or later without any help.
[04:19] Loewe
    I'm afraid not.
[04:21] Loewe
    I partially chewed it apart, so there's
    not much time until it detonates.
[04:25] Loewe
    Not to mention, if I move carelessly,
    that could also set it off.
[04:28] Zenos
    So that's why you can't move.
[04:30] Loewe
    The real problem is that my
    men refuse to leave my side.
[04:34] Orcs
    Chief!
[04:35] Orcs
    When we die, we die together!
[04:37] Orcs
    We'll be at your side!
[04:39] Zenos
    And what do you expect me to do?
[04:41] Loewe
    I'm looking to donate our wealth to you.
[04:44] Loewe
    Should this stone detonate, it will spell
    the end for the orcs in the slums.
[04:48] Loewe
    I'd rather give our accumulated
    wealth to someone
[04:51] Loewe
    who'd make good use of it
    than let it be plundered.
[04:53] Loewe
    I've heard that, while you demand
    high prices for your healing,
[04:57] Loewe
    you're willing to see children for free.
[04:59] Loewe
    I'm fond of children myself.
[05:06] Zenos
    And you ingested this mana stone recently?
[05:09] Loewe
    Yes.
[05:10] Zenos
    Scalpel.
[05:13] Orcs
    Hey...
[05:15] Zenos
    Don't move, now.
[05:16] Orcs
    Bastard!
[05:16] Orcs
    What do you think you're doing?!
[05:20] Loewe
    Wh-What did you just do?
[05:24] Zenos
    I opened your stomach to
    extract the mana stone.
[05:26] Zenos
    And then I healed it shut.
[05:29] Zenos
    Without a license, this is
    about all I can manage.
[05:32] Loewe
    The fact that you can do
    it at all is incredible...
[05:36] Loewe
    If you're not careful, it could detonate!
[05:38] Zenos
    Oh, right.
[05:48] Loewe
    N-Not so much as a scratch?!
[05:50] Zenos
    I protected my hands with defensive magic.
[05:52] Zenos
    It still hurt, though, so I had to heal them.
[05:55] Zenos
    We're done here.
[05:57] Zenos
    You can have the key back.
[06:00] Loewe
    Incredible. If you had stayed quiet, our
    entire fortune would have been yours.
[06:06] Zenos
    I only demand a price equal to
    the amount of work I need to do.
[06:08] Zenos
    That would've been too much in this case.
[06:13] Loewe
    I like you, Zenos the underground healer!
[06:16] Loewe
    You've earned a great debt
    from the orcish race today!
[06:18] Loewe
    Should you need our help,
    just call, and you'll have it!
[06:22] Zenos
    I'd really prefer you kept your distance.
[06:24] Loewe
    No need for modesty!
[06:25] Loewe
    We can provide around-the-clock
    security for your clinic, if you'd like!
[06:30] Zenos
    Seriously, don't!
[06:33] Loewe
    Anyway, the moment I relaxed,
    my appetite came back.
[06:35] Loewe
    Care to join me for some rice balls, Zenos?
[06:38] Zenos
    Maybe you could eat something else?
[06:45] Zenos
    What's got you making that sullen face?
[06:47] Lily
    Just thinking that Zophia, Lynga,
    and Loewe have been visiting a lot lately.
[06:53] Zenos
    Now that you mention it, I guess they have.
[06:56] Zenos
    Zophia on the day of the moon.
[06:58] Zenos
    Lynga on the day of water.
[07:00] Zenos
    Loewe on the day of gold.
[07:02] Zenos
    And they're never injured.
    Why do they bother?
[07:05] Lily
    Do you really have no idea at all, Zenos?
[07:09] Zenos
    They must really be bored.
[07:10] Lily
    I don't think that's it...
[07:13] Carmilla
    It sounds like love.
[07:15] Zenos
    How long have you been there?
[07:18] Carmilla
    These women are infatuated with you.
[07:21] Zenos
    What? Don't be ridiculous. There's no way.
[07:24] Zenos
    I'm a totally unremarkable underground
    healer who doesn't even have a license.
[07:27] Carmilla
    There's no fooling my eyes.
[07:29] Carmilla
    Whenever I watch from the ceiling,
[07:32] Carmilla
    their eyes betray their lovesickness.
[07:34] Carmilla
    You learn how to tell these
    things after living 300 years.
[07:36] Zenos
    Uh, you're not "living," though.
[07:38] Lily
    I'm kind of worried.
[07:41] Lily
    They're all so pretty...
[07:43] Zenos
    And they're all huge weirdos.
[07:46] Carmilla
    It's only a matter of time before the three
[07:49] Carmilla
    demihuman factions wage
    a war over Zenos, I'd say.
[07:53] Zenos
    That's absurd.
[07:54] Carmilla
    Lily, try and do your best
    to amuse me, like them.
[07:59] Lily
    B-But I'm only a kid.
[08:02] Lily
    I'm not sexy like them...
[08:07] Carmilla
    All maidens in love are beautiful.
[08:10] Lily
    Th-Thank you, Carmilla!
[08:13] Zenos
    The three demihuman leaders
    fighting over me?
[08:16] Zenos
    That's so ridiculous I can't even laugh.
[08:21] Zophia
    Doc, I'm thinking of declaring
    war on the others.
[08:24] Zophia
    Would you be willing to
    side with the lizardmen?
[08:27] Zenos
    Say what?
[08:28] Lily
    A war over Zenos...
[08:33] Lynga
    Sir Zenos! The time has come to
    settle things with the others.
[08:37] Lynga
    I want you to side with the werewolves!
[08:39] Zenos
    Uh, hang on...
[08:40] Loewe
    Zenos, the time has come to wipe out the—
[08:43] Zenos
    Okay, hold up!
[08:47] Zenos
    The fighting's supposed to begin at
    noon on the next day of ground...
[08:52] Carmilla
    All-out war between all three factions.
[08:55] Carmilla
    So many will die because
    of your womanizing ways.
[08:59] Zenos
    I really don't appreciate
    the way you put that.
[09:03] Zenos
    And what are you pouting about, Lily?
[09:15] Zophia
    You actually had the guts
    to show up only to die.
[09:18] Zophia
    Today we're gonna settle who
    deserves to be on top around here.
[09:22] Lynga
    That's so funny!
[09:23] Lynga
    Because you're about to find out how much
    Lynga has been taking it easy on you two.
[09:28] Loewe
    Such foolishness.
[09:30] Loewe
    Do you really think you'll be able to
    stand against orcs in mortal combat?
[09:32] Loewe
    You will both be dying today.
[09:36] Zeons
    Hold it right there!
[09:39] Loewe
    Zenos?
[09:39] Zophia
    Doc?
[09:39] Lynga
    Sir Zenos?
[09:41] Zenos
    Now, I'm not here to stop this fight.
[09:45] Zenos
    I know you three have long-standing
    grudges after years of conflict.
[09:49] Zenos
    So I want you to have it out
    until you're all satisfied.
[09:52] Zenos
    That's all I wanted to say.
[09:56] Zophia
    Looks like we've got Doc's approval.
[09:59] Zophia
    So let's go all-out.
[10:02] Zophia
    And whoever survives can
    claim him. What do you say?
[10:05] Lynga
    You're on! He's already
    Lynga's, in that case.
[10:08] Loewe
    Zenos's chastity will be mine!
[10:11] Lily
    Is that true, Zenos?
[10:14] Zenos
    That wasn't part of the deal, no.
[11:08] Lizardman
    What is it? They just won't stay down!
[11:11] Orc
    Doesn't matter how bad we beat
    them, they just keep getting up!
[11:15] Werewolf
    Pretty sure we've cut at
    least 30 of them down...
[11:19] Zophia
    What the...
[11:21] Zophia
    My wounds just healed.
[11:23] Zenos
    Like I said, I'm not here to stop your fight.
[11:27] Zenos
    You're free to keep going.
[11:28] Zenos
    But you're also my patients.
[11:32] Zenos
    So when you're hurt, I'm gonna heal you.
[11:34] Zenos
    I am an underground healer, after all.
[11:37] Zophia
    That explains it.
[11:39] Zophia
    Well, I sure feel like a fool after all that.
[11:43] Zophia
    I guess you've been working this
    entire time, haven't you, Doc?
[11:48] Lynga
    But I've never heard of a healer who
    could heal so many people instantly
[11:52] Lynga
    over such a long time!
[11:53] Loewe
    He told us to have at it, but I never
    thought he could heal us all...
[11:58] Loewe
    But at this rate, the fighting will never end.
[12:00] Zenos
    Exactly. There'll be no end to it.
[12:03] Zenos
    "He hit me, so I'll get revenge."
[12:06] Zenos
    "He kicked me, so I'll get revenge."
[12:09] Zenos
    It never ends.
[12:11] Zenos
    So do you want to keep going?
[12:13] Zenos
    Because if you do, I'm going to be right here.
[12:15] Zenos
    And rest assured, I will be
    getting paid for all this.
[12:23] Zophia
    He's got a point.
[12:24] Zophia
    There'll be no end to this.
[12:26] Zophia
    What are we even doing?
[12:29] Lynga
    It seems silly now.
[12:31] Lynga
    All we're doing is making ourselves tired.
[12:34] Loewe
    I honestly feel satisfied
    after all that fighting.
[12:41] Zophia
    It is what it is.
[12:42] Zophia
    And given what Doc just said,
    we might as well wrap this up for today.
[12:45] Lynga
    No objections from the werewolves!
[12:47] Loewe
    "Forgiveness is strength."
[12:49] Loewe
    An old orcish proverb.
[12:51] Zophia
    Sounds like we've only got one
    reason to fight going forward.
[12:55] Lynga
    Lynga has the advantage with that one!
[12:57] Loewe
    And that's the one battle I won't yield on.
[13:00] Zenos
    What do you think they're talking about?
[13:04] Lily
    You really are popular, Zenos...
[13:07] Lily
    Why'd you do this, though?
[13:11] Zenos
    There's something my mentor told me once.
[13:14] Zenos
    "A healer is third-rate if
    they just heal injuries,
[13:16] Zenos
    second-rate if they can
    wholly heal a person,
[13:18] Zenos
    and first-rate if they can
    make the world a better place."
[13:21] Lily
    What was your mentor like?
[13:24] Zenos
    A weirdo. But really impressive.
[13:28] Zenos
    Which is why, third-rate as I might be,
[13:30] Zenos
    I want to try to improve things in the slums.
[13:34] Lily
    That's so cool, Zenos!
[13:36] Zenos
    Or at least, that's what I'll say.
[13:38] Lily
    It's just talk?
[13:40] Zenos
    Think about it. They're all regular
    patients at our run-down clinic.
[13:44] Zenos
    We can't risk losing them over this nonsense.
[13:48] Lily
    You liar.
[13:49] Lily
    He knows that if everyone gets along,
[13:52] Lily
    there'll be fewer injuries,
    and fewer patients.
[13:59] Lily
    Hey, Zenos.
[14:00] Zenos
    What's up?
[14:02] Lily
    I like you, Zenos.
[14:05] Zenos
    I like you, too, Lily.
[14:09] Lily
    That's not what I mean when I say, "I like you"!
[14:11] Zenos
    Then what exactly do you mean?
[14:13] Lily
    N-Never mind!
[14:19] Zenos
    Well, time to get paid and go home.
[14:22] Lily
    You're still gonna charge them?
[14:24] Zenos
    Of course. Do you know how much work
    it is to heal this many people?
[14:29] Zenos
    That means I need to collect my fee.
[14:32] Lily
    You think Carmilla will be sad nobody died?
[14:35] Zenos
    Maybe. It'd serve her right, though.
[14:39] Lily
    I think... she'll actually be happy, though.
[14:50] Krishna
    You called for me, Division Commander?
[14:53] Commander
    I was waiting, Vice Commander Krishna.
[14:56] Krishna
    I wasn't expecting the summons.
    Has something happened?
[14:58] Krishna
    Yes. I've heard some
    concerning rumors lately.
[15:03] Krishna
    What rumors?
[15:04] Commander
    Apparently, the turf war between the
    demihumans of the slums has calmed down.
[15:09] Krishna
    But the lizardmen, werewolves, and orcs have
    been feuding over territory for years now.
[15:17] Krishna
    I have a hard time believing
    that it'd suddenly cool off.
[15:22] Commander
    But on the off-chance that it
    might be true, we can't ignore it.
[15:26] Commander
    The Kingdom of Herzeth has prospered
[15:29] Commander
    under its strict hierarchical system,
     with the royals at the top.
[15:33] Commander
    The citizens take out their
    frustrations on the poor.
[15:35] Commander
    And the poor take out their frustrations by
[15:37] Commander
    squabbling among themselves,
    specifically among different races.
[15:40] Commander
    That's how we maintain equilibrium.
[15:42] Commander
    But suppose the poor
    presented a united front...
[15:47] Krishna
    You believe they'd pose a threat to
    the citizens, the aristocracy...
[15:50] Krishna
    maybe even the ruling class?
[15:52] Commander
    Exactly.
[15:53] Commander
    The king is like the sun to our people,
[15:55] Commander
    and it is the duty of the royal order of knights
    to defend the capital where our ruler dwells.
[15:59] Krishna
    But Commander, the three demihuman
    races have been feuding for so long.
[16:05] Krishna
    There's no way such deep-seated
    grudges could be forgiven so easily.
[16:08] Commander
    The rumors say that a third
    party mediated between them.
[16:12] Krishna
    That seems even more implausible.
[16:15] Krishna
    Zophia the Tornado, Lynga the
    Tyrant, and Loewe the Mighty...
[16:19] Krishna
    They're dangerous, major
    figures in the underworld.
[16:22] Krishna
    I can't imagine an individual
    capable of corralling them.
[16:26] Commander
    I feel the same way.
[16:28] Commander
    But we can't ignore even the possibility
    that the rumors might be true.
[16:33] Krishna
    And that's why you called for me?
[16:36] Commander
    This is an issue that could
    threaten the state of our nation.
[16:40] Commander
    I can't leave that to the rank and file.
[16:42] Commander
    I want you, my vice commander, to handle this.
[16:45] Krishna
    I'll see to it, sir.
[16:47] Commander
    I'm counting on you, Iron Rose.
[16:50] Krishna
    If such an individual does exist,
    I will apprehend him.
[16:58] Lily
    Zenos—
[16:58] Lynga
    Sir Zenos! Is it a cold?
[17:00] Lynga
    Lynga can warm you up with her tail!
[17:02] Loewe
    That should be my job.
[17:05] Loewe
    My muscles are warmer than you'd think,
    plus there's my bosom to consider.
[17:09] Lily
    I... don't have a tail.
[17:14] Lily
    Or muscles...
[17:16] Lily
    Or... bosom.
[17:20] Lily
    I'm gonna put some tea on!
[17:22] Zenos
    You're all way too protective!
[17:24] Zenos
    It was just a sneeze.
[17:26] Zenos
    I'm trying to heal someone, so quiet down.
[17:31] Zophia
    Your healing will never
    cease to amaze me, Doc.
[17:35] Lily
    Come to think of it, you haven't needed
    healing in a while, huh, Zophia?
[17:39] Zophia
    Oh, come on, Lily!
[17:41] Zophia
    That makes it sounds like I'm always
    here when I'm not a patient!
[17:45] Zenos
    That is literally the case.
[17:47] Zophia
    Just so you know, I got this
    injury while I was working.
[17:52] Zenos
    Oh, right. You're a thief, aren't you?
[17:56] Zophia
    I'm pretty selective about
    my targets, but yeah...
[17:58] Zophia
    And the royal order of knights
    has their eye on us now.
[18:01] Zophia
    Had a bit of a scrap with them
    yesterday, which is how I got hurt.
[18:05] Zenos
    Come to think of it, you had
    both injured your arms before.
[18:09] Zenos
    Did the royal knights do that?
[18:11] Zophia
    Yeah, they did.
[18:13] Zophia
    One of 'em got me when we were
    sneaking into an aristocrat's manor.
[18:16] Zonde
    They got my arm, too, Sis.
[18:18] Zonde
    The crazy woman blasted me with
    that flame magic gun out of nowhere.
[18:22] Zenos
    A crazy woman?
[18:22] Zophia
    I think she's their vice commander?
[18:25] Zophia
    Some crazy chick they call the Iron Rose.
[18:29] Zophia
    She unleashes real hell, all with
    a blank expression on her face.
[18:32] Zenos
    The Iron Rose...
[18:36] Carmilla
    Imagine the trouble that getting
    her attention would cause,
[18:39] Carmilla
    especially with the surplus of
    dangerous women we already have.
[18:43] Lily
    I'm... the normal one, right?
[18:47] Zenos
    I doubt I have to worry.
[18:49] Zenos
    Why would the high and mighty royal knights
    care about some nobody underground healer?
[18:55] Carmilla
    My wraith's instinct is
    usually pretty accurate...
[18:58] Zenos
    No point in worrying about it.
[19:00] Zenos
    Lily, are you ready for lunch?
[19:03] Lily
    Yeah!
[19:04] Lily
    What do you want to eat, Zenos?
[19:06] Zophia
    I'd be down for a salad!
[19:08] Lynga
    Lynga wants fish!
[19:10] Loewe
    Are the two of you insane?
[19:11] Loewe
    Clearly, we're going to be having meat.
[19:15] Zenos
    For the record, I wasn't asking you three.
[19:17] Zenos
    And are you serious about eating here?
[19:35] Carmilla
    Well, I suppose I'll go upstairs and rest.
[19:39] Carmilla
    But keep in mind that you're likely
    the only one in all of the royal capital
[19:44] Carmilla
    capable of getting the slum's leaders in line.
[19:47] Zenos
    I feel like some kind of
    dangerous animal wrangler.
[19:50] Zenos
    I really hope we don't end up
    with any more troublesome guests.
[19:53] Carmilla
    "And with those words, Zenos the underground
    healer had sealed his own fate."
[19:58] Zenos
    Don't just drop ominous lines
    like that before floating off!
[20:11] Krishna
    Am I really in the slums?
[20:16] Krishna
    You there. Can I ask you something?
[20:18] Lizardman A
    Sure. What's up?
[20:20] Krishna
    I haven't been in the slums in a while,
[20:24] Krishna
    and things seem to have changed quite a bit.
[20:26] Krishna
    You're getting along awfully well
    with the werewolves and orcs.
[20:30] Lizardman A
    Well, it turns out they're not
    so bad once you get to know 'em.
[20:34] Krishna
    But there was so much bad
    blood before. What happened?
[20:38] Lizardman A
    Well, y'know...
[20:40] Lizardman A
    Look, I don't know who you are,
[20:43] Lizardman A
    so I can't really tell you about it.
[20:45] Lizardman A
    He's trying to keep a low profile, after all.
[20:48] Krishna
    A low profile?
[20:49] Lizardman A
    See ya.
[20:51] Krishna
    Hold it. You're going to talk.
[20:54] Krishna
    And no nonsense. Only answer
    the questions I ask you.
[20:57] Krishna
    Who's the mediator?
[20:59] Lizardman A
    I'm not telling you.
[21:01] Lizardman A
    We all owe him a lot.
[21:04] Lizardman A
    You can shoot me, but—
[21:05] Krishna
    This mediator has earned
    quite a bit of loyalty, then.
[21:08] Krishna
    So, who is he?
[21:08] Zonde
    Talk about amazing.
[21:11] Zophia
    Yeah, seriously.
[21:11] Lizardman A
    Boss!
[21:14] Krishna
    Starting trouble in enemy
    territory would be a bad idea.
[21:17] Krishna
    Their arms should've been injured
    beyond any hope of healing,
[21:21] Krishna
    but from that glimpse I got,
    they've fully recovered.
[21:26] Krishna
    How is that possible?
[21:29] Krishna
    And now, what do I do next?
[21:32] Krishna
    There are too many things I don't know.
[21:35] Krishna
    Like where I am.
[21:39] Zenos
    I'm getting chills for some reason.
[21:42] Krishna
    Pardon me. I could use some directions.
[21:45] Krishna
    I was in the slums, but before I knew it,
    I was in an abandoned part of the city.
[21:50] Zenos
    Yeah? That's rough.
[21:52] Krishna
    Yes, I'm afraid a bad sense of
    direction is my only real fault.
[21:56] Zenos
    Is that right?
[21:58] Krishna
    I noticed someone was in this house,
    so I decided to ask for help.
[22:01] Krishna
    Can you show me how to get back into town?
[22:04] Zenos
    Okay, in that case—
[22:05] Lily
    Zenos, do we have a patient?
[22:07] Zenos
    No, just someone who got lost.
[22:12] Krishna
    It seems I owe you thanks,
    albeit coincidentally.
[22:17] Lily
    The tea! Wait, no, Zenos!
[22:20] Lily
    Zenos!
SIGN    A Righteous Hero
[23:57] Zenos
    "A Righteous Hero."