E7 - A Pandaful Weekend.

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:24] sign
    Mr. Villain's Day Off
[01:58] Mr. Villain
    This Ranger's quick on his feet.
[02:01] Mr. Villain
    But not quick enough!
[02:37] Red
    I can't go down here...
[02:39] Mr. Villain
    Too bad for you.
[02:45] Mr. Villain
    I won't let you transform.
[02:56] Mr. Villain
    Oh, great.
[02:58] Mr. Villain
    I wound up chasing him right into the zoo.
[03:05] Red
    Listen, it's dangerous here.
    You need to get away.
[03:08] boy
    Where's my mom?
[03:09] Red
    Huh?
[03:10] boy
    I can't find her.
[03:12] Mr. Villain/Red
    He's lost.
[03:23] Red
    Stay away from him!
[03:25] Red
    Children are Earth's future!
[03:27] Red
    I won't let you harm them!
[03:29] Mr. Villain
    Oh?
[03:43] announcement
    Attention all visitors,
    we have a lost child report.
[03:48] announcement
    Keitaro is wearing a striped shirt
    and carrying a stuffed panda.
[03:54] announcement
    His mother is looking for him.
[03:56] announcement
    If you know of his whereabouts,
    please notify the nearest employee.
[04:03] Red
    Are you Keitaro?
[04:06] boy
    I'm Kei.
[04:08] boy
    I like pandas.
[04:11] Red
    Yeah? I like pandas, too.
[04:14] Red
    They said your mom's looking for you.
[04:16] Red
    You'll see her soon!
[04:20] Red
    Don't worry. Come with me and—
[04:21] Mr. Villain
    For the lost children center,
    go straight and then take a right.
[04:28] Mr. Villain
    Now get moving.
[04:30] Mr. Villain
    For the love of pandas, I'll stand down.
[04:34] Mr. Villain
    But it won't happen again.
[04:38] Red
    Fine by me.
[05:04] Mr. Villain
    Something came up.
[05:06] Mr. Villain
    I wasn't able to complete my mission.
[05:08] Rooney
    Oh, that's too bad.
[05:10] Mr. Villain
    I'm on my way back.
[05:11] Rooney
    Huh? But it's nearly quitting time.
[05:14] Rooney
    Just call it a day.
[05:16] Mr. Villain
    No.
[05:17] Rooney
    Okay, keep up the good work!
[05:19] Mr. Villain
    Hey.
[05:24] Mr. Villain
    I still have time.
SIGN    New panda merch!
SIGN    Panda cookies:
    the gift everyone loves!
SIGN    Shoebill
SIGN    Elephant
SIGN    Hippopotamus
SIGN    Big Stuffed Animals
[05:39] Mr. Villain
    It's a universal truth that the creatures
    called pandas are charming.
[05:45] Mr. Villain
    But things made in their image
    are also, in turn, charming.
[05:52] Mr. Villain
    It's only natural that things resembling
    the real deal are cute.
[05:56] Mr. Villain
    But caricatures possess
    a charm all their own.
[06:03] Mr. Villain
    That being the case,
    I must prize the way they feel!
[06:11] Mr. Villain
    Aha, this fur is on the stiff side.
[06:17] Mr. Villain
    Rather than soft, it feels substantial.
[06:20] Mr. Villain
    That's pretty good.
[06:23] Mr. Villain
    Now for the caricatured one.
[06:27] sign
    sqwoosh
[06:34] Mr. Villain
    What is this?
[06:34] sign
    skoosh
[06:34] sign
    skoosh
[06:36] Mr. Villain
    This softness that tickles the skin?
[06:40] Mr. Villain
    It makes me... want to
    keep touching it forever!
[06:55] Mr. Villain
    How can this be?
[06:57] Mr. Villain
    Now I'm unable to put it down.
[07:00] Mr. Villain
    I have no choice but to buy it!
[07:21] sign
    TA-DA
[07:24] clerk
    Are these gifts for someone?
[07:25] Mr. Villain
    They're for me.
[07:30] announcement
    We're so grateful you came to our zoo today.
[07:36] announcement
    We look forward to your next visit.
[07:45] sign
    Mr. Villain's Day Off
[07:45] sign
    Mr. Villain's Day Off
[08:06] Rooney
    Why not head on home?
[08:10] Mr. Villain
    I'm not done with work yet.
[08:12] Rooney
    Yeah, that exec meeting did run long.
[08:15] Rooney
    Oh, that reminds me.
[08:16] Rooney
    You know those creatures you like, General?
[08:19] Mr. Villain
    They're pandas.
[08:20] Rooney
    Yeah, pandas. Don't they have three
    habitats within our territory?
[08:26] Rooney
    Except I heard there might be another.
[08:29] Mr. Villain
    What did you just say?
[08:32] Rooney
    To be precise, there are apparently
    panda-like things there.
[08:37] Mr. Villain
    And where is this?
[08:40] Rooney
    Well, you see, right here.
[08:44] Mr. Villain
    If there really are pandas there...
[08:48] Mr. Villain
    I'll go see them with my own eyes!
[08:50] Mr. Villain
    Just you wait, pandas!
[08:56] Rooney
    Uh, you should get some rest...
SIGN    Toyokan
SIGN    Asakusa Gate
SIGN    Asakusa Hanayashiki
[09:35] Mr. Villain
    I arrived too early.
SIGN    Regular Mail
SIGN    Non-Standard Sizes
[09:51] Mr. Villain
    Might as well get in line.
SIGN    Asakusa Gate
SIGN    Exit
SIGN    Enter
[10:18] Mr. Villain
    Where are the pandas?
[10:21] Mr. Villain
    This doesn't look like a place
    that would have pandas.
[10:24] Mr. Villain
    Oh, Rooney...
[10:26] Mr. Villain
    I hope you weren't just
    half-asleep and seeing things.
[10:32] Mr. Villain
    Might as well investigate anyway.
[10:34] woman
    Let's hurry!
[10:35] boyfriend
    The rides will be there
    whether we hurry or not.
[10:38] woman
    But since we're here, it'd be a waste
    if we didn't ride lots of them!
[10:43] boyfriend
    Then why don't we get free passes?
[10:45] woman
    Let's!
[10:49] woman
    Come on!
[10:51] Mr. Villain
    Is riding the rides what people do here?
[10:56] Mr. Villain
    My ultimate goal is to find the pandas.
[10:59] Mr. Villain
    But it wouldn't be good to make
    the Earthlings suspicious.
[11:05] Mr. Villain
    One adult free pass.
[11:08] girl
    Again!
[11:09] girl
    Let's get on the merry-go-round again!
[11:11] mother
    Again? How about something else?
[11:14] girl
    No! I wanna ride Mr. Horsey again!
[11:17] Mr. Villain
    They have a horsey here?
[11:17] girl
    Mr. Horsey is my favorite!
[11:19] Mr. Villain
    In that case, maybe there are pandas.
[11:20] girl
    Can't I ride him one more time?!
SIGN    Boarding
    Zone
[11:32] Mr. Villain
    I guess I'll try riding Mr. Horsey.
[12:12] Mr. Villain
    Again?
[12:14] Mr. Villain
    Why do the Earthlings wave at me?
SIGN    Haunted House
SIGN    Haunted House
[13:08] Mr. Villain
    What sort of training
    is this supposed to be?
[13:12] Mr. Villain
    The pandas are nowhere to be found!
SIGN    Exit
[13:20] child A
    That was so much fun!
SIGN    Exit
[13:22] child B
    Let's ride it again!
[13:23] child A
    Yeah!
[13:36] Mr. Villain
    Always be wary of Earthlings.
[13:39] Mr. Villain
    Letting children ride these things...
[13:41] Mr. Villain
    This had better not be some
    Ranger training facility!
[13:45] Mr. Villain
    What is this place?
[13:54] old man
    Is it your first time here, mister?
SIGN    Roller Coaster
[14:02] old man
    Amusement parks are where
     everyone can be a child.
[14:07] old man
    You know, I come here from time to time.
[14:12] old man
    Not that I can handle any of the rides.
[14:16] old man
    See, take a look.
[14:21] old man
    The place is overflowing
    with smiles and happiness.
[14:26] old man
    It's a space far removed from everyday life.
[14:30] old man
    Oddly enough, it makes
    everyone a bit childlike.
[14:35] old man
    When I come here and watch people
    enjoying their all-too-brief days off,
[14:41] old man
    it really takes me back.
[14:46] boy
    Hey, did you know?
[14:49] boy
    They have pandas here!
[14:51] boy
    I love riding them!
[14:57] boy
    Grandpa!
[15:03] boy
    Hey, let's go over there!
[15:05] Mr. Villain
    What was that all about?
[15:09] Mr. Villain
    Apparently amusement parks aren't*
    Ranger training facilities.
[15:13] Mr. Villain
    I should have asked him*
    where the pandas are.
SIGN    Kids Ninja Park
SIGN    Souvenir Shop Hanamaru
SIGN    Souvenirs
[15:33] Mr. Villain
    Panda snacks and stationery.
[15:37] Mr. Villain
    Panda badges and stickers.
[15:40] Mr. Villain
    What's with this comprehensive
    line-up of panda goods?!
[15:46] Mr. Villain
    This is a panda tail?
[15:49] Mr. Villain
    Are the pandas that live here a
    new species with black tails?
[15:58] Mr. Villain
    What's the meaning of this?!
[16:00] Mr. Villain
    Pandas imprisoned inside tiny capsules?!
[16:05] Mr. Villain
    Curse your evildoing, Earthlings!
[16:09] Mr. Villain
    But never fear, pandas!
[16:11] Mr. Villain
    I shall swiftly come to your aid!
[16:15] Mr. Villain
    No panda left behind!
[16:18] Mr. Villain
    All of you!
[16:24] sign
    Pandas!
[16:28] Mr. Villain
    Now you are free.
[16:31] Mr. Villain
    But why are you nearly all identical?
[16:35] Mr. Villain
    So long as you're cute.
[16:37] Mr. Villain
    Oh, right. I must hurry and find
    the black-tailed pandas.
[16:42] Mr. Villain
    Where are they?
[16:44] Mr. Villain
    Where are you, pandas?
[16:47] Mr. Villain
    I will find you, no matter what!
[16:53] Mr. Villain
    Pandas...
[16:55] Mr. Villain
    Where could you and your black tails be?
[16:59] staffer
    Pardon me, sir.
[17:02] staffer
    Is something troubling you?
[17:05] Mr. Villain
    I'm looking for the pandas.
[17:08] staffer
    The pandas?
[17:09] staffer
    Oh, of course!
[17:12] staffer
    I'll show you the way.
[17:24] Mr. Villain
    The black-tailed pandas are hidden
    beyond this narrow passage?
[17:38] staffer
    This is where you get on the panda cars.
[17:45] Mr. Villain
    What the?!
[17:48] Mr. Villain
    What are these?
[17:50] Mr. Villain
    Pandas?
[17:51] Mr. Villain
    These are pandas?
[17:52] Mr. Villain
    There's even a cub!
[17:55] Mr. Villain
    You mean... these pandas let
    you ride on their backs?
[18:29] Rooney
    Oh, so they're a ride.
[18:33] Mr. Villain
    Yes. Earth has many wonders
    not found on our home planet.
[18:38] Mr. Villain
    Further investigation is required.
[18:42] Rooney
    What's this?
[18:43] Mr. Villain
    A panda car.
[18:45] Rooney
    It has a black tail.
[18:47] Mr. Villain
    Yeah. But real pandas have white tails.
[18:51] Rooney
    So why do the panda cars have black ones?
[18:55] Mr. Villain
    Beats me. I have no idea what
    goes through the Earthlings' heads.
[19:01] Rooney
    It's cute, though.
[19:04] Mr. Villain
    You got that right.
[19:12] sign
    Mr. Villain's Day Off
[19:12] sign
    Mr. Villain's Day Off
[19:22] Mr. Villain
    I've already visited this
    Earth zoo dozens of times.
[19:27] Mr. Villain
    Lately, I've mainly been observing
    the differences in the panda's faces.
SIGN    Annual pass
    holder
[19:49] Mr. Villain
    This female panda has graceful features.
[19:52] Mr. Villain
    And this male over here...
[20:00] Mr. Villain
    has almond-shaped eyes and angular features.
[20:03] Mr. Villain
    He looks dignified.
[20:05] Mr. Villain
    Yes, he's a handsome one in the panda world.
[20:09] Mr. Villain
    But he reminds me of someone...
[20:12] Mr. Villain
    Especially those eyes.
[20:21] Mr. Villain
    He looks vaguely like my coworker Trigger.
[20:24] Mr. Villain
    I think... No!
[20:27] Mr. Villain
    Being reminded of colleagues
    on my day off violates my creed!
SIGN    His creed:
    Disconnect
    from work
    on days off
[20:32] Mr. Villain
    My creed? Disconnect from work on days off.
[20:46] Mr. Villain
    Once again, I have outdone my best shot.
[20:49] Mr. Villain
    All thoughts of coworkers
    quickly fled my mind.
SIGN    Back to work
[20:59] Trigger
    Ugh!
[21:00] Trigger
    That's the last mug I wanted to see.
[21:08] Trigger
    What, got nothin' to say?
[21:12] Trigger
    Don't just stand there in my way!
[21:15] Trigger
    Are you listening?!
[21:17] Trigger
    Hey!
[21:31] Trigger
    The hell're you laughin' at?!
[21:35] backgrounder B
    Sir!
[21:36] backgrounder A
    Please calm down!
[21:38] backgrounder D
    T-Trigger, sir!
[21:40] backgrounders
    Whoa, whoa...
[21:42] Trigger
    You'll pay for this, you creep!
[21:46] Trigger
    I swear I'll reduce you to tears.
[23:20] sign
    Mr. Villain's Day Off
[23:20] sign
    MR. VILLAIN'S DAY OFF
[23:22] Mr. Villain
    Tidings from Valencia.
[23:25] Mr. Villain
    The navel bulge.
[23:28] Mr. Villain
    A mandarin smile.
[23:32] Mr. Villain
    The lovely tangor.
[23:34] Mr. Villain
    The captivating tangerine.
[23:38] Mr. Villain
    Eyes of marmalade.
[23:41] Mr. Villain
    The melody of an incomplete symphony.
[23:45] Mr. Villain
    Gifts in the season of white.
SIGN    Gifts in the Season of White