E10 - Clash of the Super Dim Sum

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    True Cooking Master Boy
[01:41] Shirou
    Amazing!
[01:43] Mao
    Yeah.
[01:44] Luokong
    You're using both hands to simultaneously
    knead two balls of dough?
[01:47] Luokong
    So you weren't all talk when you
    proclaimed yourself the best in the land.
[01:52] Xielu
    I don't see your hands moving, gramps.
[01:54] Xielu
    Though I doubt you can knead dough properly
    with the feeble hands of an old man.
[02:01] Luokong
    I am Luo Kong the Dim Sum King.
[02:05] Luokong
    If you're the best in the land,
    then I'm the best in the world.
[02:11] Luokong
    Let me teach you something.
[02:13] Luokong
    Dough is not kneaded with strength.
[02:16] Luokong
    It is the circular motion of
    my fingers, arms, and cane.
[02:20] Luokong
    In other words, the essence of
    dim sum cooking is rotation.
[02:24] Luokong
    The extent of a dim sum chef's mastery of
    rotations is an expression of his skill.
[02:30] Luokong
    Bai Luo Rotational Kneading!
SIGN    Bai Luo Rotational Kneading!!
[02:35] Xielu
    He's using torque to knead
    the smoothest possible dough.
[02:39] Shirou
    Mao, what does that mean?
[02:41] Mao
    The majority of a sweet
    bun's flavor is determined
[02:45] Mao
    by how soft and fluffy the skin is.
[02:49] Mao
    When you knead yeast made
    from fermented potatoes
[02:52] Mao
    into flour and let it rest, the dough rises.
[02:58] Mao
    Th-That's...
[03:00] Luokong
    This is what gives life to
    my sweet buns: lao mein.
[03:04] Shirou
    Lao mein?
[03:06] Luokong
    This is the dough passed down from
    the founder of the Bai Luo family
[03:10] Luokong
    since the Three Kingdoms
    Era, Shuhan Lao Mein.
[03:13] Luokong
    It contains the ultimate yeast,
    having survived for 1600 years.
[03:24] Meili
    It's so delicate from being thoroughly
    kneaded and abundantly fluffy.
[03:28] Mao
    It'll definitely produce incredible sweet
    buns like nothing anyone's ever tasted.
[03:32] Mao
    Xie Lu!
[03:34] Xielu
    Don't worry. I've already finished my skins.
[03:38] Mao
    What?
[03:39] Mao
    It's flat.
[03:41] Shirou
    You can't win that sad flat skin, bro!
[03:48] Mao
    The filling is usually made
    primarily from ground pork,
[03:52] Mao
    but what will Xie Lu do?
[03:55] Shirou
    What?
[03:56] Shirou
    Beef? That's not pork, Mao.
[03:59] Shirou
    Is he going to be okay?
[04:01] Mao
    No, it's smart.
[04:02] Mao
    If you want to maximize the juiciness
    of the filling, you should use beef.
[04:06] Shirou
    Which means Xie Lu's finally
    getting ready to use his staff.
[04:11] Shirou
    A knife?
[04:15] Mao
    Steaks?
[04:19] Luokong
    You're wrapping chunks of
    meat in deflated flat skins?
[04:23] Luokong
    Just so you know, serving something
    that can't be described
[04:26] Luokong
    as sweet buns is out of the question.
[04:32] Xielu
    Sounds like you don't know what I'm doing.
[04:35] Xielu
    You've fallen so far, Dim Sum King.
[04:39] Luokong
    It seems most dim sum masters
    still have to have the last word.
[04:46] Luokong
    These should be ready soon.
[04:50] Xiang
    Eight clay pots...
[04:52] Xiang
    Could it be?
[04:57] Meili
    Bamboo?
[04:59] Luokong
    Allow me to show you the Bai
    Luo family's ultimate dim sum.
[05:05] Both
    It's done!
[05:17] Meili
    This light...
[05:25] Mao
    A treasure ship packed with heaping
    mountains of multicolored sweet buns.
[05:29] Mao
    And golden sweet buns glittering
    on the back of the golden dragon.
[05:33] Mao
    It's practically blinding.
[05:37] Xiang
    Let the judging begin.
[05:38] Xiang
    First, Dim Sum King Luo Kong.
[05:43] He
    I see. You used the bamboo you cut earlier
    to build this treasure ship steamer.
[05:48] He
    By the way, what do they say?
[05:50] Luokong
    Azure Dragon, Black Tortoise,
    Vermilion Bird, and White Tiger.
[05:55] Luokong
    With each of the Four Guardians of the four
    cardinal directions in their place,
[05:58] Luokong
    they quell the seas,
    and ease the hearts of men.
[06:00] Luokong
    They are the noble Requiem
    Sweet Buns of prayer!
[06:04] Xiang
    Spare me the theory.
[06:06] Xiang
    It only matters if they're good or not.
[06:16] Xiang
    Not only are the skins as soft as cotton,
[06:19] Xiang
    but they're overflowing with rich juices.
[06:22] Xiang
    The mouthfeel and softness
    are of the highest quality.
[06:28] Xiang
    This is sea cucumber!
[06:31] Xiang
    It's damn impressively rehydrated!
[06:35] He
    This one contains scallops!
[06:36] He
    They dance from the skin
    with the excellent broth,
[06:38] He
    just begging to be eaten!
[06:40] Hu
    I had no idea abalone could
    be so crisp and soft!
[06:43] Xiang
    The ultimate seafood has been sealed
    inside the ultimately fluffy skins,
[06:47] Xiang
    producing supreme bliss!
[06:49] He
    Not only that, but they've
    all been cooked low and slow
[06:52] He
    to perfection in eight separate clay pots!
[06:57] Hu
    They're treasures. Treasures of sweet buns.
[07:01] Sanjie
    Just from eating high quality seafood?
[07:04] Sanjie
    What's going on?
[07:06] Luokong
    The secret is in the skin.
[07:10] Luokong
    East is sourness.
[07:11] Luokong
    North is saltiness.
[07:13] Luokong
    West is spiciness.
[07:15] Luokong
    South is bitterness.
[07:16] Luokong
    By applying the appropriate flavor
    according to each direction
[07:19] Luokong
    of the cosmic dual forces and five elements,
    the ultimate balance is maintained.
[07:24] Luokong
    These are the Bai Luo family's ultimate
    sweet buns, passed down for generations:
[07:28] Luokong
    The Four Guardians Seafood
    Eight Treasure Buns!
SIGN    Four Guardians Seafood Eight Treasure Buns
[07:37] Xiang
    Few have mastered the Four Guardians
    Seafood Eight Treasure Buns.
[07:41] Xiang
    No one can surpass 1600 years of history.
[07:45] Luokong
    Boy, you never stood a chance at winning.
[07:54] Xiang
    Next, Xie Lu.
[07:56] Hu
    Gold, huh? How flashy.
[07:59] Hu
    The golden dragon is a
    brilliantly crafted, too.
[08:04] He
    Those flat skins have puffed up quite a bit.
[08:08] Xiang
    What's wrong with this dragon?
[08:10] Xiang
    It's holding on tight and won't let go.
[08:13] Xiang
    There!
[08:18] Xiang
    It laughed! The sweet bun laughed at me!
[08:22] Judges
    What's going on?
[08:25] Luokong
    Quiet, amateurs!
[08:29] Luokong
    The essence of these sweet
    buns lies elsewhere.
[08:33] Luokong
    The cracks in the sweet buns.
[08:36] Luokong
    The two pots.
[08:38] Luokong
    The strange glow of the dragon.
[08:40] Luokong
    You fool, Xie Lu!
[08:42] Luokong
    You fried your sweet buns!
[08:45] Xielu
    Exactly. These are fried sweet buns.
[08:48] Luokong
    Amateur! The meat's juices
    have flowed out of the cracks
[08:51] Luokong
    created in the skin by the hot oil!
[08:55] Luokong
    A sweet bun without a single drop of
    juice left is a shell of a sweet bun!
[08:59] Xielu
    Are you sure about that?
[09:00] Xiang
    Hot!
[09:02] Xiang
    Hot, hot, hot!
[09:03] Hu
    Hot, hot, hot!
[09:07] Xiang
    Inside my mouth...
[09:08] He
    Piping hot, meaty juices are pouring out!
[09:12] Judge
    They're stuffed with full-bodied
    juices rich with beef flavor!
[09:17] Hu
    But it's so refreshing,
    and not too heavy at all!
[09:21] Xiang
    Not only that, but the juices perfectly
    match the fluffy, crispy, and fragrant fried skins!
[09:27] He
    It's a new kind of snack!
    The ultimate deliciousness!
[09:30] He
    This super dim sum is
    supremely enjoyable to eat!
[09:34] Luokong
    Impossible! How?
[09:36] Luokong
    There should be no juices left!
[09:40] Xielu
    Try breaking open the insides of a sweet bun.
[09:47] He
    What? This is...
[09:49] He
    Vermicelli!
[09:52] Xielu
    That's right.
[09:54] Xielu
    The filling of a fried bun
    should be light and refreshing.
[09:56] Xielu
    That's why I absorbed the meat
    juices into the vermicelli.
[10:00] Xielu
    I seared thick cuts of steak to
    seal the flavor inside of them.
[10:04] Xielu
    Then I cut them into chunks and
    stuffed them inside, gramps.
[10:11] Mao
    I see.
[10:14] Luokong
    Then why did the sweet buns laugh?
[10:18] Xielu
    Listen closely, Dim Sum King.
[10:20] Xielu
    These cracks didn't come from
    frying them. I made them.
[10:24] Xielu
    I made small incisions from the start.
[10:27] Xielu
    My dough was flat because I used baking soda,
[10:30] Xielu
    a rising agent that rises
    when exposed to heat.
[10:33] Xielu
    I used the rapid expansion of the skins
[10:36] Xielu
    during frying to create these cracks.
[10:39] Xielu
    And these are the true identity of the laugh.
[10:42] Luokong
    That's...
[10:43] Xielu
    Light chunks of beef that had
    their juices sucked out of them.
[10:47] Xielu
    The oil that seeped in through the
    cracks hardened these chunks, as well
[10:53] Xielu
    as the inside of the skins and the surface
    of the vermicelli, sealing the juices inside.
[10:58] Xielu
    The meat chunks rattle around
    in the space created inside,
[11:02] Xielu
    producing the sound of laughter.
[11:05] Xielu
    They are the Golden Open-Mouthed Laugh!
SIGN    Golden Open-Mouthed Laugh!!
[11:12] Xielu
    In other words, laughing golden sweet buns.
[11:14] Xielu
    This joy is what dim sum is really about.
[11:18] Mao
    The soothing top-of-the-line sweet buns,
[11:20] Mao
    the Four Guardians Seafood Eight Treasure
    Buns and the joyful, over-the-top sweet buns,
[11:25] Mao
    the Golden Open-Mouthed Laugh.
[11:27] Mao
    Who will win?
[11:32] Sanjie
    Tell us your judgment.
[11:35] Mao
    Who will they choose?
[11:36] Shirou
    Xie Lu, unanimously.
[11:39] Meili
    It doesn't look that way, Shirou.
[11:41] Shirou
    What?
[11:48] Shirou
    They're struggling to decide!
[11:51] Meili
    The votes are split.
[11:54] Xiang
    I've decided! I've made my choice!
[12:00] Judge
    So have I.
[12:01] Hu
    Yes. The choice is clear.
[12:04] Sanjie
    All right.
[12:07] Sanjie
    Very well, tell us the results of your judgment.
[12:14] Sanjie
    If you choose Xie Lu of the Steel
    Staff, raise your red spoon.
[12:26] Mao
    N-No way.
[12:35] Sanjie
    Wait, seriously?
[12:38] Meili
    No one's raising their red spoon.
[12:40] Audience
    No matter how talented, a youngster
    in his twenties can't beat him.
[12:46] Xielu
    I don't believe it. I can't
    believe I lost this badly.
[12:52] Xiang
    Then if you choose Luo Kong the Dim
    Sum King, raise your white spoon.
[13:03] Sanjie
    What is this?
[13:05] Xiang
    What?
[13:08] Mao
    No one's raising their white spoon, either.
[13:10] Shirou
    What's going on?
[13:12] Sanjie
    Governor Xiang, what's the meaning of this?
[13:20] Xiang
    Sanjie, I once told you the Han Feizi's
    story of the spear and the shield.
[13:26] Sanjie
    The spear and the shield?
[13:27] Xiang
    Once upon a time, a strange weapons
    dealer from the land of Chu
[13:32] Xiang
    who was selling a spear
    that could pierce anything
[13:36] Xiang
    and a shield that nothing could pierce.
[13:40] Xiang
    Xie Lu's supremely delicious
    laughing fried buns,
[13:43] Xiang
    the Golden Open-Mouthed Laugh,
[13:45] Xiang
    are the spear that can pierce anything.
[13:48] Xiang
    In contrast, the collected 1600
    years of wisdom and technique
[13:51] Xiang
    that are Luo Kong's Four Guardians
    Seafood Eight Treasure Buns
[13:55] Xiang
    are the shield that nothing can pierce.
[13:58] Xiang
    "So what happens when you strike
    that shield with that spear?"
[14:01] Xiang
    The story ends with the befuddled
    weapons dealer being asked this.
[14:07] Xiang
    Right now, we feel like that weapons dealer.
[14:10] Xiang
    In the rest of the world, this
    spear and shield don't make sense.
[14:13] Xiang
    We call it a paradox.
[14:15] Xiang
    But it's also true that an unstoppable spear
[14:18] Xiang
    and invincible shield can't be compared.
[14:21] Xiang
    Therefore, this contest is a draw!
[14:32] Meili
    It's...
[14:33] Mao
    ...a tie?
[14:53] Mao
    Guys...
[15:04] Xielu
    What dreary sweet buns.
[15:06] Xielu
    There's nothing fun about them.
[15:09] Luokong
    Did you think you could beat me
    with such foolish tricks, brat?
[15:14] Xielu
    What was that, gramps?!
[15:15] Xielu
    Anyway, you shouldn't be
    writing on your sweet buns!
[15:17] Xielu
    It's unappetizing!
[15:19] Luokong
    Silence, boy!
[15:20] Luokong
    The oil from your sweet buns
    made my hands sticky!
[15:23] Luokong
    How will you make it up to me?!
[15:24] Xielu
    Why is your steamer shaped like a boat?
[15:26] Xielu
    Make a normal shape!
[15:28] Luokong
    It's the best shape for circulating
    the aroma of the bamboo, you moron!
[15:31] Luokong
    And your dragon is the most
    useless thing imaginable!
[15:34] Xielu
    What's an old man doing
    with long hair, anyway?
[15:37] Xielu
    You should trim your sideburns, damn it!
[15:39] Luokong
    You never used your staff a single time!
[15:42] Luokong
    If it's just for show, take yourself
     and your staff to the Shaolin Temple!
[16:02] Xielu
    It was generous of them to call it a tie.
[16:06] Xielu
    No matter how you look at it, your sweet
    buns are undeniably delicious, gramps.
[16:12] Luokong
    More importantly, boy, frying
    your sweet buns was a bold idea
[16:16] Luokong
    not even found in the Bai
    Luo family's dictionary.
[16:20] Luokong
    Who taught you to do that?
[16:23] Xielu
    The Shanxi Province where I
    was born has few ingredients.
[16:27] Xielu
    Since I was a kid, I've been
    traveling across all of China
[16:30] Xielu
    in search of ingredients
    and dishes I've never seen.
[16:35] Xielu
    These sweet buns are my
    twist on a recipe I learned
[16:38] Xielu
    from the locals when I
    traveled far to the north.
[16:42] Xielu
    In bitterly cold lands, you can't make
    fluffy hot sweet buns by steaming them.
[16:46] Xielu
    That's why they fry them.
[16:49] Xielu
    This land is vast.
[16:50] Xielu
    Practices we'd never think of are being
    used all over the place all the time.
[16:55] Xielu
    And encountering those
    ingredients, dishes, and chefs
[17:00] Xielu
    is almost more fun than I can bear.
[17:09] Xielu
    King, what's this?
[17:12] Luokong
    Boy, I've decided.
[17:14] Luokong
    I'm going to travel across China to
    learn all the flavors it has to offer.
[17:18] Xielu
    What?
[17:22] Luokong
    I've spent the past century learning
    the Bai Luo family's techniques
[17:26] Luokong
    and working in the palace kitchens.
[17:28] Loukong
    I haven't seen sunlight since
    I joined the underworld.
[17:31] Luokong
    It seems I've been indoors for far too long.
[17:39] Luokong
    Boy.
[17:42] Luokong
    When I think of all the new talent like
    you sprouting across this vast land,
[17:47] Luokong
    I can't sit idly by.
[17:50] Luokong
    Xie Lu, you won this battle.
[18:01] Xielu
    You can't be serious, gramps!
[18:03] Xielu
    You can't just decide that!
[18:04] Luokong
    The word "tie" doesn't exist in
    the Bai Luo family's dictionary.
[18:07] Luokong
    There's no point in a
    contest without a winner.
[18:09] Xielu
    Maybe so, but I don't remember winning!
[18:13] Luokong
    Don't get the wrong idea.
[18:15] Luokong
    You didn't seize victory.
    I'm giving you the win, for now.
[18:19] Luokong
    And my staff.
[18:21] Luokong
    We'll fight again ten years from now.
[18:24] Luokong
    And when we do, I'll crush you thoroughly so
[18:28] Luokong
    I can take back my staff and the victory.
[18:31] Xielu
    Fine, gramps.
[18:33] Xielu
    Xie Lu of the Steel Staff
    will hold onto this for you.
[18:38] Luokong
    You heard me.
[18:39] Luokong
    I appreciate what the underworld has
    done for me, but I'm quitting now.
[18:45] Xiang
    After acknowledging your own defeat,
[18:47] Xiang
    you think you'll be allowed to
    leave the underworld, Luo Kong?
[18:58] Mao
    H-He vanished.
[19:00] Luokong
    Don't forget, boy. Ten years.
[19:03] Xielu
    Ten years? Gramps, how long
    are you planning to live?
[19:09] Xielu
    King... He's a crafty old man.
[19:12] Narration
    The first round of the Huangpu River Warship
    Pavilion banquet contest is won by Xie Lu!
[19:23] Henchman
    Dim Sum King Luo Kong was defeated
    by Xie Lu of the Steel Staff,
[19:27] Henchman
    then fled the scene.
[19:31] Henchman
    Wh-Wh-What shall we do, Shao An?
[19:36] Shaoan
    This is fine.
[19:38] Shaoan
    We will undoubtedly have one victory
    and one loss after the second round.
[19:43] Mao
    You did it, Xie Lu!
[19:44] Shirou
    That was amazing, bro!
[19:46] Shirou
    One more victory, and we win!
[19:48] Xielu
    Their backs are to the wall
    now. They have to win.
[19:52] Xielu
    The second round is the main
    dish round. Brace yourselves.
[19:56] Meili
    They'll send that woman leader next.
[20:00] Meili
    I get the sense she's incredibly dangerous.
[20:03] Xiang
    Lei En of the Seven Star
    Knives, step forward!
[20:06] Shaoan
    After all, she cannot lose.
[20:10] Shaoan
    And in the third round, I, Shao An,
[20:13] Shaoan
    will thoroughly crush Mao,
[20:16] Shaoan
    and get revenge for what happened
    at the Chrysanthemum Tower.
[20:23] Mao
    Lei En.
[20:25] Mao
    Are you okay? Won't it be hard fighting
    another member of the underworld?
[20:29] Leien
    Mao, I once told you
[20:32] Leien
    that I made an unforgivable mistake.
[20:35] Leien
    I escaped the underworld after it made me
    lose my way, knowing it would kill me.
[20:44] Leien
    I have no hesitation!
[20:55] Xiang
    Open the bilge tank!
[21:02] Xiang
    The skills of a spineless
    runaway decline every day.
[21:07] Xiang
    I shall generously make the subject of
    our contest your specialty, seafood.
[21:11] Leien
    That pridefulness of yours once
    made me commit that mistake.
[21:16] Leien
    I swore an oath that I would
    never commit the same error.
[21:26] Mao
    The water burst!
[21:29] Leien
    The appetizer comes before the main course.
[21:31] Leien
    Taste this, judges.
[21:35] Leien
    Seven Stars Army Destroyer Raw Cuttlefish!
[21:38] Xiang
    The cuttlefish! The cuttlefish
    has already been sliced!
[21:42] Mao
    Incredible! The Seven Star Knives
    are sharp enough to cut water!
[21:47] Leien
    I, Lei En, seek nothing else from this world
[21:51] Leien
    than to settle my debts
    with my Seven Star Knives.
[21:56] Xiang
    This is why you're naive.
[21:59] Xiang
    You still haven't let go of that incident.
[22:03] Leien
    What?
[22:05] Xiang
    Such weakness will prevent you
    from properly seeing this!
[22:10] Xiang
    I am the cooking underworld's
    Ten Feet of Blue Xiang!
[22:15] Leien
    I-Impossible.
[22:18] Leien
    It can't be...
[22:20] Leien
    Those knives are the Seven Star Knives!
SIGN    Next Time
SIGN    "Clash of the Two Seven Star Knives"
[24:07] Narration
    "Clash of the Two Seven Star Knives."