# E5 - The Nice Bird SAGA in Your Heart
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GY5PK058Y/the-nice-bird-saga-in-your-heart)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:00] Sakura**
Last time on *Zombie Land Saga*!
**[00:02] Sakura**
We ran out of budget even though
we've barely done anything yet,
**[00:05] Sakura**
so we took our first offer for a paid job!
**[00:08] Sakura**
It was at a hot springs, of all places!
**[00:10] Sakura**
We got to relax and take in the sights.
It was kinda fun!
**[00:13] Sakura**
The show went great, and we were so excited
**[00:15] Sakura**
we couldn't control our girlish whimsy and
dove into the springs after being told not to!
**[00:19] Sakura**
Then we ran through the inn
with our zombieness exposed,
**[00:21] Sakura**
which ended with our chance for
a partnership going up in smoke!
**[00:23] Sakura**
Sakura really goofed this time!
Sowwy evewybody!
***SIGN*** Tatsumi Academy
Franchouchou High
**[00:33] Kotaro**
All right, play ball!
**[00:35] Kotaro**
We've got the championship game to determine
the ultimate idol high school today!
**[00:38] Kotaro**
After an interesting game, we're in the
ninth inning with three runs apiece!
***SIGN*** Tatsumi Academy
Franchouchou High
**[00:41] Kotaro**
Will Franchouchou High School be able to
hold it together through this inning?
**[00:44] Kotaro**
Pitching is their ace, Saki Nikaido!
**[00:47] Kotaro**
This is the first pitch. There it goes!
**[00:49] Kotaro**
Blammo!
**[00:52] Kotaro**
And that's a home ruuuu—
**[00:59] Kotaro**
Owie...
**[01:00] Saki**
That hurt, prick! I'm gonna kill you!
**[01:02] Kotarro**
Dirt... The dirt...
**[01:04] Kotarro**
The dirt... The dirt...
**[01:04] Sakura**
Uh, what exactly are you doing?
**[01:07] Kotaro**
I'm picking up some dirt off the field!
**[01:09] Kotaro**
Competitive fields are cruel, y'know!
**[01:11] Kotaro**
The second you let your guard
down, it can all fall apart!
**[01:14] Sakura**
O-Okay.
**[01:16] Kotaro**
I'm trying to say that if you get lazy,
you're gonna be in for-real trouble,
**[01:19] Kotaro**
you dim-witted zombies!
**[01:21] Kotaro**
You haven't forgotten that little "hey, we're
zombies" mess at the resort, have you?
**[01:25] Sakura**
No.
**[01:26] Kotaro**
You wanna get talked about,
make sure it's because you're idols!
**[01:29] Kotaro**
We haven't gotten any further
operating budget thanks to you!
**[01:31] Ai**
I'm pretty sure that's your fault.
**[01:33] Kotaro**
Well, I happen to have arranged a gig
**[01:36] Kotaro**
that even you slobs will be able
to hit a grand-slam home run with!
**[01:40] Kotaro**
Starting today, we're gonna
try to raise our profile!
**[01:42] Kotaro**
And the first step is having you appear in
a commercial for a certain mega-famous business!
**[01:47] Sakura**
We're getting offers for commercials?
**[01:50] Kotaro**
I know, right?
**[01:51] Kotaro**
You guys are gonna be so shocked
your hearts might start beating!
**[01:54] Kotaro**
Listen up... The mega-famous business
that's hired you for this commercial...
**[01:58] Kotaro**
is the famous Drive-In Tori!
***SIGN*** Drive-In Tori
***SIGN*** Episode 5 The Nice Bird SAGA in Your Heart
**[02:12] Intro**
Even if we're dead, we want to
make our dreams come true...
**[02:14] Intro**
No, even if we're dead, we
will make them come true!
**[02:17] Intro**
Is that despair? Or is it hope?
**[02:19] Intro**
We'll overcome a harsh fate, and even if
we don't have a pulse, we'll press on!
**[02:23] Intro**
Because that is our saga!
**[03:37] CM**
* Yakitori number one, chicken and rice*
* number two, salad's number three for nutrition!*
**[03:41] CM**
* Service with a smile,*
* come on and get your fill!*
**[03:43] Saki**
Holy crap... It's really Drive Tori...
**[03:46] Sakura**
Say what?
**[03:46] CM**
* Fresh, tasty, and fun! Bring all your friends!*
* We're here for you every day...*
**[03:47] Saki**
Are you stupid?!
**[03:48] Saki**
It's Drive Tori! I will kill you!
**[03:51] Saki**
Sorry! I've never heard of them!
**[03:52] CM**
*at Drive-In Tori!*
**[03:52] Lily**
I've heard of them but never been.
**[03:54] Saki**
Unbelievable...
**[03:56] Saki**
All of you fail at Saga!
***SIGN*** Saga Fail
**[04:00] Sakura**
Is it that famous?
**[04:02] Kotaro**
You'll all learn how amazing
Drive Tori is in time.
**[04:05] Saki**
When?! When's the job?!
**[04:07] Kotaro**
Right now!
***SIGN*** Yakitori Number One,
Chicken and Rice Number Two
Drive-In Tori
**[04:15] Sakura**
Kinda... has that local business feel, huh?
**[04:18] Junko**
Mega-famous business...
**[04:21] Saki**
The homey feel! It's still the same!
***SIGN*** Take the Nation
**[04:30] Saki**
Back when I spent every day and
night tearing up the roads,
**[04:34] Saki**
we'd always hit this place
after raising some hell.
**[04:39] Saki**
I remember I always got the
number one meal with the gang.
**[04:43] Saki**
With a side of lettuce.
**[04:46] Sakura**
You really were a wild girl, huh, Saki-chan?
***SIGN*** Yakitori Number One,
Chicken and Rice Number Two
Drive-In Tori
**[04:49] Lily**
That bird's not very cute.
**[04:51] Saki**
Damn it, shrimpy! Don't you dare insult
Drive Tori's immortal Cocco-san!
**[04:55] Sakura**
Cocco-san?
**[04:56] Kotaro**
What the fudge are you girls doing?!
Move it already!
**[04:58] Owner**
This is the president of Drive-In Tori.
**[05:02] Prez**
Hello. It's nice to meet you all.
**[05:04] FCC**
Good after—
**[05:05] Saki**
Sir, yes, sir!
**[05:07] Lily**
Loud.
**[05:09] Prez**
I appreciate you all coming out.
**[05:11] Prez**
I'm looking forward to seeing you
all advertise our restaurant.
**[05:14] Prez**
Why don't we start by heading inside so you
can try some of our signature grilled chicken?
**[05:18] FCC**
Thank y—
**[05:19] Saki**
Sir, yes, sir!
**[05:31] Prez**
Most people think of beef when it
comes to yakiniku-style grilling,
**[05:34] Prez**
but in Saga, it's all about chicken.
**[05:39] Saki**
Sakura! Try some of that sauce,
and the garlic pepper!
**[05:43] Sakura**
Okay.
**[05:44] Saki**
All right, this one's looking pretty good.
**[05:45] Lily**
Hey, I was cooking that one!
**[05:49] Ai**
Why don't you get that one,
Lily? It's already well done.
**[05:52] Lily**
But I was cooking the other one!
**[05:53] Yugiri**
What are you looking at there, Junko-han?
**[05:55] Junko**
The honey and black vinegar
Calpis sounds good...
**[05:59] President**
And that sums up the seven
principals of Drive-In Tori.
**[06:02] Kotaro**
Oh, I see—
**[06:03] Kotaro**
Would it kill you all to listen?!
**[06:06] Prez**
No, it's okay. It's great to see
that they're enjoying the food.
**[06:11] Sakura**
The food really is amazing!
**[06:13] Prez**
I'm glad to hear that.
All our chicken is fresh—
**[06:16] Lily**
Aw, Tae-chan's eating raw chicken!
**[06:22] Prez**
Uh, it's not *that* fresh...
**[06:26] Kotaro**
Now, then...
**[06:27] Kotaro**
Shall we discuss the details of the shoot?
**[06:29] Prez**
Sure.
**[06:37] Saki**
Freaking sweet!
**[06:38] Junko**
The first outfit we wear other
than T-shirts... and it's this.
**[06:42] Ai**
Well, it's all so we can get
some real outfits someday.
**[06:44] Sakura**
That looks great on you, Junko-chan!
**[06:47] Junko**
It does?
**[06:48] Lily**
You're so cute, Yugirin!
**[06:50] Yugiri**
I wouldn't have minded an outfit
like this in my old line of work.
**[06:52] AD**
All right, is everybody ready to get started?!
***SIGN*** Commercial shoot!!!
No talking!!
Featuring
Franchouchou
Number 0
Number 1
Number 2
Number 3
**[06:56] AD**
First up,
**[06:57] AD**
I wanna introduce the girls from Franchouchou
who are gonna be in the commercial today!
**[07:00] AD**
Give them a hand!
**[07:03] AD**
Next up is Cocco-kun-san!
**[07:06] AD**
Let's hear it for them!
***SIGN*** Chicken
**[07:20] Saki**
They've really got a hell of an aura!
**[07:22] Sakura**
Saki-chan...
**[07:23] Lily**
Yeah, that's not cute.
**[07:34] Sakura**
S-Sorry about that.
**[07:37] Sakura**
Tae-chan! That's not a real chicken!
**[07:39] Sakura**
I'm not supposed to say this too loud,
but there's someone inside!
**[07:43] AD**
All right, if everybody's ready,
we can get started!
**[07:47] AD**
Yeah!
**[07:47] FCC**
Thanks for having us!
**[07:50] Saki**
We're gonna give this our all!
**[07:51] Director**
All right, let's do a test run...
**[07:53] Director**
And action!
**[07:56] FCC**
Yakitori number one, chicken and rice number
two, salad's number three for nutrition!
**[08:00] FCC**
Service with a smile,
come on and get your fill!
**[08:04] FCC**
Yeah!
**[08:05] Director**
And cut!
**[08:06] AD**
Cut!
**[08:08] Director**
I could hear something weird in there.
**[08:11] Sakura**
S-Sorry about that.
**[08:13] Saki**
Tae, you gotta sing!
**[08:14] Sakura**
It's not gonna work, Saki-chan!
**[08:16] Sakura**
Tae-chan can't really do audio.
**[08:17] Sakura**
Wh-What do we do?
**[08:19] AD**
You girls ready?!
**[08:21] Sakura**
Uh, well...
**[08:22] AD**
Just try to avoid all that "urgh
argh" stuff this time, thanks!
**[08:25] AD**
Rolling!
**[08:26] Sakura**
For real?!
**[08:27] AD**
Go ahead, director!
**[08:29] Sakura**
O-Okay, Tae-chan, just join us for the
cock-a-doodle-doo part at the end!
**[08:34] Director**
All right, rolling...
**[08:35] AD**
This one's for real!
**[08:37] Director**
And...
**[08:38] Director**
action!
**[08:42] AD**
Cut!
**[08:44] Sakura**
I'm so sorry!
**[08:49] FCC**
Yakitori number one, chicken and rice number
two, salad's number three for nutrition!
**[08:54] FCC**
Service with a smile,
come on and get your fill!
**[08:57] FCC**
Yeah!
**[08:58] FCC**
Fresh, tasty, and fun!
**[09:01] FCC**
Bring all your friends!
We're here for you every day...
**[09:04] FCC**
at Drive-In Tori!
**[09:07] Director**
And cut!
**[09:08] AD**
Yeah!
**[09:10] Director**
That was good.
**[09:12] AD**
All right, we're gonna run
a check on that take!
**[09:14] Sakura**
The idea you had about changing
the harmony did the trick.
**[09:19] Director**
Okay.
**[09:20] AD**
Okay, that last take was good!
**[09:24] Junko**
That's good to hear.
**[09:25] Kotaro**
Was it really?
**[09:28] Kotaro**
Can you say you've really done the job?
**[09:30] Sakura**
Uh...
**[09:31] Kotaro**
What are you all?
**[09:32] Kotaro**
What are you standing here as, right now?
**[09:35] Ai**
Uh, idol—
**[09:36] Kotaro**
Freaking chickens!
**[09:38] Kotaro**
You're chickens right now!
**[09:39] Kotaro**
Am I wrong, Junko?!
**[09:41] Junko**
No!
**[09:42] Kotaro**
Then you need to chicken it up!
**[09:45] Kotaro**
I'm not seeing any chicken authenticity!
**[09:49] Kotaro**
The intensity of a chicken as it's
being cooked on a mesh grill!
**[09:52] Kotaro**
The crow of its soul!
**[09:55] Saki**
Shades might be right.
**[09:59] Saki**
We...
**[10:01] Saki**
We haven't become real chickens!
**[10:06] Director**
Uh, no, that last take was—
**[10:08] Kotaro**
These girls can do it if you
give them a chance, director!
**[10:11] Kotaro**
Please, let them try again!
**[10:13] Saki**
Look at that!
**[10:15] Saki**
You guys aren't gonna let
Cocco-san show us up, right?!
**[10:20] Saki**
If we're idols who wanna
take over the country,
**[10:22] Saki**
we need to be ready to gobble
up the star on their own show!
**[10:27] Sakura**
Tae-chan?!
**[10:38] Director**
Hey! Somebody stop her!
**[10:40] AD**
Y-Yessir!
**[10:41] Kotaro**
Wait!
**[10:44] Kotaro**
Get that camera rolling!
**[10:45] Kotaro**
This is reality!
**[10:48] Kotaro**
This is the story we've
all been yearning for!
**[10:51] Sakura**
Tae-chan, she didn't mean it literally!
**[10:56] Kotaro**
Director!
**[10:59] Director**
Action!
***SIGN*** Yakitori Number One,
Chicken and Rice Number Two
Drive-In Tori
**[11:05] Prez**
I have to say, you all did an
excellent job as chickens.
**[11:09] Prez**
This is our restaurant's
way of saying thanks.
**[11:12] Sakura**
D-Do you think it's some chicken?
**[11:15] Prez**
T-shirts.
***SIGN*** Yakitori Number One,
Chicken and Rice Number Two
Drive-In Tori
**[11:17] Junko**
More T-shirts...
**[11:19] Prez**
I have to say, I'm looking
forward to the final product.
**[11:29] CM**
* Yakitori number one, chicken and rice number*
* two, salad's number three for nutrition!*
**[11:33] CM**
* Service with a smile,*
* come on and get your fill!*
**[11:35] Inbashi**
Huh, they got a new commercial.
***SIGN*** Song and dance: Franchouchou
**[11:37] CM**
Yeah!
**[11:38] Inbashi**
What's with these girls?
**[11:40] Inbashi**
Must be hard trying to be
idols in Saga of all places.
**[11:44] Okoba**
Have I seen her before...?
***SIGN*** Yakitori Number One, Chicken and Rice Number Two
Drive-In Tori
**[11:48] Kotaro**
Now that was some nice bird-ing!
**[11:49] Kotaro**
All of you, seriously... nice bird!
***SIGN*** Zombie Land Saga
***SIGN*** Zombie Land Saga
**[12:11] Kotaro**
Merci!
**[12:15] Kotaro**
Bonjour, Saga jeune.
**[12:18] Kotaro**
Saga jeune...
**[12:20] Ai**
Yeah, yeah, I'm a Saga jeune now, I guess.
**[12:23] Kotaro**
How are you in any way a Saga jeune?!
**[12:29] Ai**
What is your problem?!
**[12:31] Kotaro**
Dirt...
**[12:34] Kotaro**
Listen up! None of you are even close
to cutting it as Saga jeunes yet!
**[12:37] Kotaro**
Like a bunch of hick zombies using
your sleeves to wipe your snot!
**[12:40] Kotaro**
However! I've found a way
for even you to become
**[12:43] Kotaro**
Saga jeunes who can compete
with even Parisian jeunes!
**[12:46] Kotaro**
You're gonna participate in the Gatalympics!
***SIGN*** Entering the Gatalympics!!!
**[12:49] Saki**
Holy crap...
**[12:52] Saki**
The Gatalympics...
**[12:53] Sakura**
More tears?!
**[12:54] Lily**
You know that anybody
can participate, right?
**[12:57] Ai**
And what even is it?
**[12:59] Saki**
Unbelievable...
**[13:00] Saki**
You all fail at Sa—
***SIGN*** —Et cetera Saga Fail
**[13:05] Junko**
It's not very glamorous...
or even colorful, is it?
**[13:08] Lily**
I don't wanna!
**[13:10] Kotaro**
Shut it!
***SIGN*** Franchouchou
**[13:14] Lily**
What is that garbage-like
T-shirt supposed to be?
**[13:16] Kotaro**
You are all going to be entering the
Gatalympics wearing these shirts.
***SIGN*** Franchouchou
**[13:21] Saki**
When?! When are we doing this?!
**[13:22] Kotaro**
Right now!
***SIGN*** 34th Kashima Gatalympics
**[13:33] Junko**
It reminds me of the swimsuit-only
athletic competitions they used to have.
**[13:37] Ai**
You were actually in those?
**[13:39] Junko**
I-I made sure not to pop out, though!
**[13:42] Lily**
I seriously hate this.
**[13:44] Yugiri**
It's for the sake of advertising.
You'll have to bear it.
**[13:47] Sakura**
No! Tae-chan, quit squirming!
**[13:51] MC**
*The deadline for entries is nearly here.*
**[13:54] MC**
* Anyone wanting to participate*
* should head to...*
**[13:55] Sakura**
It's already starting!
**[13:57] Sakura**
Extra T-shirt, extra T-shirt...
**[13:59] Sakura**
Oh, I know!
**[14:01] Sakura**
We can't have you ripping another one,
so let's put an extra layer on.
**[14:09] Inubashi**
Huh, aren't those the girls
from that commercial?
**[14:16] Inubashi**
One of them catch your eye, Ookoba-san?
**[14:19] Ookoba**
Idiot.
**[14:23] Ookoba**
I could swear I've seen
her somewhere before...
***SIGN*** 34th Kashima Gatalympics
**[14:26] Host**
* And here we have the headline event*
* of the Gatalympics, Mud Biking!*
**[14:29] Host**
* Competitors ride down*
* a narrow path on a bicycle!*
**[14:32] MC**
Okay!
**[14:34] MC**
First, we have a member of the
Saga PD here to demonstrate!
**[14:39] MC**
Care to comment?
**[14:41] Cop**
Well, y'know, today...
The, uh, every day... peace...
**[14:45] MC**
All right, let's get this started!
**[14:49] MC**
On your marks! Get set...
**[14:55] MC**
And that's about how it works!
**[14:57] MC**
Good luck, everyone!
**[15:02] Sakura**
Good luck, Saki-chan!
**[15:04] Saki**
Leave it to me! Nobody can
beat me on two wheels!
**[15:07] MC**
Let's get the first race started.
**[15:10] Saki**
Prepare to eat my dust.
**[15:12] MC**
On your marks!
**[15:14] MC**
Get set...
**[15:21] MC**
Let's move on to the second race!
**[15:24] MC**
On your marks! Get set...
**[15:48] Sakura**
You can't even tell what's
on the shirts now.
**[15:51] Ai**
To be honest, I saw this coming.
**[16:02] Sakura**
Well, now people can see what they say!
**[16:08] ---**
Wait!
**[16:09] Kids**
Over here!
**[16:10] Kids**
Wait for me!
**[16:14] Sakura**
What do we do?! What do we do?!
**[16:14] Saki**
Crap, crap, crap!
**[16:25] Yugiri**
Kind of heartbreaking, isn't it?
**[16:30] MC**
What's our next contestant's name?
**[16:31] Kotaro**
Uh... Kotaro Tatsumi.
**[16:34] Sakura**
Kotaro-san?!
**[16:35] Ai**
Why isn't he wearing one of the shirts?!
**[16:38] MC**
Can we hear your thoughts
going into the race?
**[16:39] Sakura**
This is good! He can talk about the group!
**[16:41] Kotaro**
Uh... I'm gonna do my best.
**[16:43] MC**
Anything else?
**[16:45] Kotaro**
Uh, nope.
**[16:46] Saki**
What the hell?!
**[16:48] Saki**
His ass is gonna end up covered in mud!
Let's all laugh at him!
**[16:51] MC**
On your marks! Get set...
**[17:04] Host**
* The next competition we have for*
* you today is the Mud Tarzan Swing!*
**[17:09] MC**
Okay, take it away!
**[17:11] Cop**
Here I go!
**[17:13] Cop**
Check this out, Ariake Sea!
**[17:15] Cop**
Whoa!
**[17:17] Host**
* And there you have it. Scores are based*
* on distance along with showmanship.*
**[17:22] Junko**
They're not going to be able
to see the T-shirts anyway.
**[17:25] Sakura**
True enough...
**[17:26] Yugiri**
If we can make it over there,
we might be able to manage something.
**[17:34] Ai**
That might actually be the best
way of reaching the crowd.
**[17:37] Saki**
Sounds good! Let's aim for the top!
**[17:40] Sakura**
It's the only choice we have!
**[17:43] MC**
Next contestant, come on down!
**[17:48] Sakura**
I get the feeling Ai-chan
can pull this off...
**[17:55] Host**
* That's a distance of 5*
* meters and 20 centimeters!*
**[17:58] Host**
*Doesn't amount to much!*
**[18:01] Ai**
Say something!
**[18:05] Junko**
This is higher up than I thought...
**[18:17] Saki**
Hell yeah!
**[18:18] Saki**
Right to the top!
**[18:27] Saki**
*The distance is... three meters.*
**[18:30] Lily**
You're supposed to jump forward.
**[18:32] Saki**
Get 'em, Big Sis Yugiri!
**[18:36] Yugiri**
Right!
**[18:54] Host**
* Those points are purely for artistic*
* value, with a distance of zero meters!*
**[18:57] Lily**
Here I go!
**[18:59] Lily**
Magical Shooting Star!
**[19:05] Host**
*Now that's some real distance!*
**[19:08] Host**
*She's currently in fourth place!*
**[19:09] Host**
*Not quite enough to reach the podium!*
**[19:20] Sakura**
*If I believe... then I can fly.*
**[19:23] Sakura**
*I have to... have to win this!*
**[19:29] Saki**
Fly, Sakura!
**[19:42] Host**
*A total belly-flop!*
**[19:44] Lily**
That looked painful.
**[19:45] Lily**
*And a score... of 1!*
**[19:47] Lily**
*The lowest score in today's games!*
**[19:49] Saki**
Yeah, that's not impressing anybody.
**[19:54] Host**
* Huh? We've got someone with a*
* unique style on the stand now.*
**[19:59] Sakura**
Tae-chan?!
**[20:00] Saki**
Hey, hey, hey!
**[20:25] Host**
*Well that's... What the?*
**[20:27] Host**
* It's hard to tell because of the sun...*
* What just happened?*
**[20:30] Ai**
This is bad!
**[20:31] Saki**
Hide the fact she's a zombie!
**[20:33] HOst**
*Whoa, now!*
**[20:34] HOst**
* Her teammates have all jumped*
* into the mud after her!*
**[20:36] HOst**
*What a wonderful display of teamwork!*
***SIGN*** Gold
**[20:47] MC**
And so we're here to interview the winner!
**[20:51] MC**
Let's get a word from her right away.
**[20:53] MC**
How do you feel right now?
**[20:55] Saki**
So much for advertising.
**[20:57] Sakura**
Yeah...
**[21:00] MC**
I wonder if she got too much mud
in her mouth to be able to speak?
**[21:03] MC**
In any case, that was an amazing jump!
**[21:04] MC**
Congratulations!
**[21:06] Ai**
Well, what's done is done.
**[21:11] Sakura**
Wait, Tae-chan has two shirts on!
**[21:14] Saki**
For real?!
**[21:15] Sakura**
Tae-chan! Tear your shirt!
***SIGN*** Drive-In Tori
***SIGN*** Drive-In Tori
**[21:31] MC**
Congratulations!
**[21:35] Song**
Drive-In Tori!
**[21:37] Kotaro**
Nice bird.
**[21:42] Inubashi**
They're quite a cute bunch.
**[21:45] Ookoba**
That's it.
**[21:46] Ookoba**
I remember now.
**[21:48] Inubashi**
Remember what?
**[21:50] Ookoba**
I should look into this...
***SIGN*** Next Episode Preview
**[23:25] Ai**
This is Ai.
**[23:26] Ai**
Whether it's hocking chickens
or playing in mud,
**[23:28] Ai**
we need to do whatever it
takes to raise our profile.
**[23:32] ---**
Next time on *Zombie Land Saga* Episode 6:
**[23:34] ---**
Because It's Sentimental SAGA.
***SIGN*** Episode 6: Because It's Sentimental SAGA
**[23:36] ---**
See you then.