E1 - Every Day Is Fun

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    With a Dog And a Cat, 
    Every Day Is Fun
[00:00] Hide
    Dog and Cat!
[00:01] Hide
    Every time I open a bag of snacks,
    my dog comes running.
SIGN    Snacks
SIGN    For me?! For me?!
[00:07] Hide
    Uh, I've never given you
    any of these before.
[00:10] Hide
    Just give up, already.
[00:11] Hide
    Wait, no! He's...
[00:13] Hide/Text
    He's not thinking, "I've never gotten
    any before, so I'll give up..."
[00:17] Hide/Text
    It's more like, "Maybe today's
    the day she'll finally give me some!"
[00:19] Hide/Text
    That thought keeps him going!
SIGN    Is your brain a field of flowers, kid?
SIGN    What you need to do is steal  their food while they sleep.
[00:30] Hide/Text
    The next morning, it had all been eaten.
[00:33] Hide/Text
    Cats are seriously scary.
[00:37] Cat
    Dog and Cat.
[00:38] Hide
    Inu-kun...
[00:39] Hide
    ended up with a weird haircut
    when he was groomed.
[00:42] Hide
    It's so ugly! Talk about dumb!
SIGN    Look! Look!
[00:46] Mom
    What kind of haircut is that?
SIGN    Look! Look!
[00:49] Dad
    Boy, they sure gave you
    an awful hairdo, huh?
[00:50] Hide
    Everyone's laughing at him,
[00:52] Hide
    but he mistakenly believes that
    everyone laughing equals happiness.
SIGN    Everyone Laughing = Happiness
[00:56] Hide
    Dogs are amazing, though.
[00:58] Hide
    They truly make everyone feel happy.
[01:01] Hide
    Aww!
SIGN    Hey! Cat! Look! Look!
SIGN    Who the hell are you?!
[01:06] Hide/Text
    He doesn't recognize you after a haircut,
    and on top of that, he hits you, too.
[01:10] Hide/Text
    You can always trust a cat to be brutish.