# E3 - Our Feelings Aren't Always Pretty
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/G7PU47Z88/our-feelings-arent-always-pretty)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:01] (Flashback) Mao**
I really like you, Hisashi.
**[00:07] Hisashi**
*Is that why? Yeah, that must be it.*
**[00:11] Hisashi**
*I must like Mao, too.*
**[00:35] (Flashback) Mao**
When this is all over, I'll come talk
to you. Just wait until then.
**[00:44] (Flashback) Hisashi**
Yeah, I guess he's right.
**[00:47] (Flashback) Hisashi**
Got it.
***SIGN*** Twilight Out of Focus
***SIGN*** Twilight Out of Focus
**[02:27] Yukitaka**
Why do you keep hassling me?
**[02:30] Yukitaka**
Just leave me alone!
**[02:34] Yukitaka**
I just want to get through
high school without any trouble.
**[02:40] Hisashi**
Then why'd you give Agatsuma that letter?
**[02:44] Hisashi**
Are you sure you aren't trying
to start something?
**[02:48] Giichi**
Cut!
**[02:49] Giichi**
Okay.
**[02:52] Runa**
Pack it up!
**[02:54] Giichi**
Yeah.
**[02:56] Giichi**
Otomo's nailing it.
**[02:58] Runa**
He's really focused. The drama club
even said they wanted to recruit him.
**[03:02] Giichi**
And that face.
**[03:03] Runa**
Yeah, he looks great.
**[03:06] Giichi**
I guess he's finally ready to commit.
**[03:09] Giichi**
On the other hand...
**[03:11] Giichi**
Mao. Mao?
**[03:15] Giichi**
You trying to hide or something?
That won't work on me.
**[03:18] Giichi**
You aren't focused at all.
Your head is in the clouds.
**[03:21] Giichi**
And to top it off, the shoot's
running behind. Get it together, man.
**[03:29] Mao**
It's not like I screwed anything up.
**[03:31] Giichi**
What was that?!
**[03:32] Mao**
If you've got a problem, give
the camera to someone else.
**[03:38] Giichi**
Hey, asshole! What did just you say?
**[03:38] Runa**
Hold on, now!
**[03:40] Giichi**
Hey! Look at me!
**[03:42] Runa**
Look, we had a good shoot today.
**[03:45] Runa**
We've still got tomorrow,
so let's call it a day.
**[03:47] Giichi**
Hmph!
**[03:49] Giichi**
Grr! Grr!
**[03:49] Runa**
Oh, boy. That sure set him off.
**[03:51] Runa**
He's really on edge today.
**[03:53] Runa**
And tomorrow's another important
day of shooting. Scene 18, right?
**[03:57] Runa**
Since we're shooting the kiss scene...
**[04:00] Runa**
Um, hey!
**[04:02] Runa**
Mao, you okay?
**[04:04] Mao**
Huh?
**[04:06] Mao**
Mm-hmm.
**[04:09] Mao**
* Just like Ichikawa said,*
* my head's in the clouds.*
**[04:12] Mao**
*Even though I put a lid on things...*
**[04:14] Mao**
*I'd better pull myself together.*
**[04:22] Hisashi**
They said we're shooting the kiss tomorrow.
**[04:25] Mao**
Oh. Right.
**[04:27] Hisashi**
I'm so nervous. Kissing in public?
**[04:30] Hisashi**
Actors sure have it rough.
***SIGN*** You and the Seasons, etc...
**[04:32] Mao**
Yeah, but you're an actor now too, Hisashi.
**[04:36] Hisashi**
I'm still nowhere near Honjo's level, though.
**[04:39] Hisashi**
I really doubt I can do this.
**[04:42] Mao**
Huh? Do what?
**[04:45] Hisashi**
Kiss someone I'm not even into.
**[04:52] Mao**
*This is so awkward.*
**[04:53] Mao**
* Hisashi must be angry at me*
* for running away after what I did.*
**[04:59] Mao**
Aren't you gonna get that?
**[05:01] Hisashi**
Is it too loud?
**[05:03] Mao**
No.
**[05:06] Hisashi**
Are you jealous?
**[05:07] Mao**
* There. Looking at me*
* with those feverishly tempting,*
**[05:12] Mao**
*probing eyes again.*
**[05:17] Hisashi**
Just kidding. I won't answer.
**[05:20] Hisashi**
And, declined.
**[05:23] Mao**
Are you going somewhere?
**[05:25] Hisashi**
The lounge.
**[05:27] Hisashi**
It's easier for me to memorize lines
if I read them somewhere noisy.
**[05:30] Hisashi**
Tomorrow's a big day on set, right?
**[05:35] Mao**
*I can't let myself get worked up like this.*
**[05:38] Mao**
* I've got to get a hold of myself.*
* At least until the shoot is over.*
**[05:43] Giichi**
Honjo, push him away as hard as you can.
**[05:46] Giichi**
Then Otomo, let go so you don't get hurt.
**[05:49] Giichi**
I'll let you guys figure out the timing.
**[05:51] Yukitaka**
It's fine. I'll give him a signal.
**[05:53] Yukitaka**
Otomo, a little more to your right.
**[05:59] Runa**
Scene 18, shot 4. Let's do a take.
**[06:04] Giichi**
Ready.
**[06:08] Giichi**
Action!
**[06:10] Mao**
* I just have to shoot like I always do.*
* I've already imagined this scene in my head.*
**[06:15] Mao**
*Many, many times.*
**[06:17] Mao**
*That's why...*
**[06:19] Mao**
* When we really did kiss,*
* it was nothing like what I imagined.*
**[06:24] Mao**
*It was totally different from a movie.*
**[06:26] Hisashi**
What, did you think you were
going to get kissed, Honjo?
**[06:31] Mao**
* I'm getting overwhelmed by feelings*
* right now that aren't all very pretty.*
**[06:36] Mao**
* Like, "I need more than this."*
* "I want him all to myself."*
**[06:41] Mao**
* Even the image I have of Hisashi in our*
* room this year, always looking so in love...*
**[06:46] Mao**
* I wanted to rip it to shreds*
* and throw it all away.*
**[06:49] Yukitaka**
Please stop teasing me!
**[06:55] Yukitaka**
Is it really that funny that
I get so nervous around you?
**[07:00] Yukitaka**
It isn't Agatsuma. I'm more
interested in you right now.
**[07:04] Yukitaka**
I don't even understand
these feelings myself.
**[07:11] Hisashi**
I'm sorry for teasing you.
**[07:13] Hisashi**
Would you let me start over?
**[07:16] Hisashi**
This time I'll do it for real.
**[07:18] Mao**
*I know this is all part of a movie,*
**[07:22] Mao**
* but I still can't stand to see*
* Hisashi kissing someone el—*
**[07:29] Hisashi**
Mao!
**[07:32] Giichi**
Mao?
**[07:34] Giichi**
Are you okay? Did you hit your head?
**[07:39] Giichi**
Mao!
**[07:41] Mao**
Ouch... The camera?
**[07:43] Giichi**
Forget it. Are you good?
At least you're conscious.
**[07:47] Giichi**
I'll take him to the nurse's office.
Somebody give me a hand.
**[07:51] Hisashi**
No, I'll take him.
**[07:53] Giichi**
Otomo...
**[07:56] Giichi**
By yourself? Can you manage?
**[07:59] Hisashi**
Easy.
**[08:00] Hisashi**
Someone go along—
**[08:01] Mao**
Ichikawa.
**[08:02] Mao**
The camera's more important.
Check if it's okay.
**[08:05] Giichi**
All right.
**[08:16] Mao**
*Damn it.*
***SIGN*** Nurse's Office
**[08:18] Nurse**
You seem to have a mild concussion.
**[08:21] Nurse**
But you don't have a headache,
so just rest here awhile.
**[08:25] Nurse**
Will you stay with him?
**[08:26] Hisashi**
Sure.
**[08:28] Hisashi**
Mao, how are you doing?
**[08:37] Mao**
Ugh! Damn it!
**[08:45] Mao**
*I'm all mixed up.*
**[08:47] Mao**
* I couldn't concentrate and screwed up*
* the most important shot.*
**[08:52] Mao**
* What are the third-years gonna say*
* if the camera is dead?*
**[08:56] Mao**
* And Ichikawa not blaming me*
* makes me feel even guiltier.*
**[09:00] Mao**
*Why am I getting jealous over a damn movie?*
**[09:04] Mao**
*I'm such an idiot.*
**[09:08] Hisashi**
Oh well. We'll just have to shoot it again.
**[09:18] Nurse**
Are you feeling all right?
I've got to step out for a bit.
**[09:21] Nurse**
I'll be with the baseball club,
so call for me if you need anything.
**[09:24] Hisashi**
All right.
**[09:30] Hisashi**
Listen, I... For me,
this is kind of a relief.
**[09:34] Hisashi**
You seemed so calm the whole time,
Mao, like it didn't even bother you.
**[09:39] Hisashi**
But were you actually
thinking about us after all?
**[09:43] Hisashi**
That would make me happy, but...
**[09:46] Hisashi**
I know that sounds cruel.
Like I'm happy that you screwed up.
**[10:00] Hisashi**
Were you thinking about me?
**[10:09] Hisashi**
Hey, Mao. Look over here.
**[10:17] Mao**
Wha—?
**[10:19] Hisashi**
If you can't lie to this thing,
then talk to me.
**[10:23] Hisashi**
Tell me how you feel, Mao.
**[10:25] Hisashi**
Don't hide it. Tell me everything.
**[10:29] Hisashi**
Come on. The camera's rolling.
**[10:41] Mao**
Hisashi, I really like you.
**[10:45] Mao**
But it's turning me into an awful person.
**[10:49] Mao**
I want you to like me, too.
I want you all to myself.
**[10:53] Mao**
Whenever I think about the guy you were
dating before, it makes me so jealous.
**[10:59] Mao**
I don't want you to see anyone but me.
**[11:04] Hisashi**
I feel the same way!
**[11:07] Hisashi**
I want you all to myself.
I want you to see only me.
**[11:15] Hisashi**
Does this make me a bad person?
**[11:43] Hisashi**
Mao, can I break my promise and go to you?
***SIGN*** Roll call.
***SIGN*** Otomo? Tsuchiya?
**[12:09] Hisashi**
Otomo, present.
***SIGN*** Tsuchiya?
**[12:16] Mao**
Present! Tsuchiya, present!
***SIGN*** Okay.
**[12:28] Mao**
Hisashi, wai—
**[12:32] Hisashi**
You scared?
**[12:35] Hisashi**
Sorry. I can't promise you
that it'll be easy.
**[12:42] Hisashi**
But I want to see how you react, Mao.
**[12:46] Hisashi**
I want to see what you'll
let me get away with.
**[12:55] Mao**
*See? There it is again. Hisashi's bad habit.*
**[13:00] Mao**
* His eyes are testing me.*
* They're probing into my core.*
**[13:05] Mao**
*But I don't hate that.*
**[13:10] Mao**
*Test me as much as you want.*
**[13:13] Mao**
* Whether I let you or not,*
* I have only one response.*
**[13:17] Mao**
*I like you.*
**[13:20] Mao**
Don't worry. I'll accept any part of you.
**[13:24] Mao**
Don't hold back, okay?
**[13:26] Mao**
It is my first time, but
I have an idea of how it goes.
**[13:30] Mao**
I studied a lot of pink films.
You don't have to be gentle.
**[13:35] Hisashi**
Seriously.
**[13:37] Hisashi**
I've got nothing on you, Mao.
**[13:46] Hisashi**
Mao... Mao...
**[13:49] Mao**
*Hisashi called my name as if delirious,*
**[13:53] Mao**
* while thrusting so deep*
* inside me, over and over.*
**[13:58] Mao**
*I felt him swelling up inside me...*
**[14:13] Hisashi**
Feeling okay? Are you sore at all?
**[14:17] Mao**
Is this...
**[14:18] Hisashi**
Is this?
**[14:19] Mao**
Is this how lovers have always done it?!
**[14:22] Mao**
I should have filmed it! For posterity!
**[14:26] Hisashi**
Huh?
**[14:27] Mao**
Seems like a tricky theme, though. Eros...
**[14:29] Hisashi**
So... should I be relieved?
**[14:32] Hisashi**
An erotic movie, huh?
Let's film the next time.
**[14:34] Mao**
Huh? Huh?
**[14:35] Hisashi**
Oh, that's not what you meant.
**[14:37] Hisashi**
But I'm glad you aren't sore.
**[14:41] Hisashi**
Want to sleep a bit?
**[14:43] Mao**
I'm not sleepy at all.
**[14:45] Mao**
Would you talk to me? Tell me about you.
**[14:49] Mao**
You never talk about yourself.
I want to know more.
**[14:53] Hisashi**
Coming from you?
**[14:55] Hisashi**
Talk about myself... hmm.
**[14:58] Mao**
Or just tell me what's been
on your mind recently.
**[15:01] Hisashi**
The last scene of the movie we're making.
**[15:04] Hisashi**
It ends when the president
transfers schools,
**[15:07] Hisashi**
and the two of them break up, right?
**[15:10] Mao**
Yeah. They shake hands in the library
and go their separate ways.
**[15:14] Mao**
The class president leaves first,
and then Hisa—
**[15:18] Mao**
Otomo goes later.
**[15:20] Mao**
Then the credits roll on
a shot of the empty library.
**[15:25] Hisashi**
When I read the script,
I thought it was such a sad story.
**[15:29] Hisashi**
They finally developed feelings for
each other, but then had to break up.
**[15:34] Hisashi**
I'd interpreted it as a tragedy.
**[15:36] Hisashi**
But now I imagine Otomo
chasing after the president.
**[15:44] Hisashi**
Maybe he remembers the time they kissed
in the library, runs after him,
**[15:48] Hisashi**
and then embraces him.
**[15:56] Hisashi**
He'd probably say, "Even if we're far apart,
our hearts will stay connected."
**[16:01] Hisashi**
I'd never really thought about
what a movie means before.
**[16:05] Hisashi**
No, not just movies... about anything.
**[16:08] Hisashi**
I just took things the way they were.
**[16:11] Hisashi**
That was enough for me then.
Not anymore, though.
**[16:15] Hisashi**
I want to pay more attention
to things going forward.
**[16:17] Hisashi**
To think about myself,
about you, about family...
**[16:22] Hisashi**
About the future, about acting.
And about tomorrow's shoot.
**[16:29] Mao**
I want to think about the future, too.
**[16:34] Mao**
About a way I can stay in your life forever.
**[16:45] Hisashi**
Are you sleepy?
**[16:47] Mao**
No.
**[16:50] Hisashi**
One more time. I'll just use my hands.
**[16:54] Mao**
Mm-hmm.
**[17:11] Mao**
Good morning, Hisashi.
**[17:12] Hisashi**
Morning, Mao.
**[17:15] Hisashi**
This is bad. We're late. Wanna skip?
**[17:20] Mao**
I'm not gonna skip.
The shoot's after class.
**[17:23] Hisashi**
Okay, then I'll hurry. My hair is a mess.
**[17:28] Hisashi**
Huh?
**[17:29] Hisashi**
Hey, is this thing rolling?
There's a light on.
**[17:33] Mao**
Okay, I'm ready to go. Hurry up, Hisashi.
**[17:36] Hisashi**
Yeah, okay.
**[17:38] Hisashi**
We're gonna have to run.
**[17:40] Hisashi**
One second, Mao.
**[17:57] Mao**
I'm sorry for all the trouble
I caused yesterday.
**[18:03] Hisashi**
Forget it. Nobody thinks it was your fault.
**[18:07] Hisashi**
But are you feeling okay?
**[18:08] Mao**
Wha—? What do you mean?
**[18:11] Mao**
Physically, I'm fine.
**[18:15] Giichi**
I mean, has something been bothering you?
**[18:18] Giichi**
You've really been out of it recently.
I've been worried about you.
**[18:23] Giichi**
What?
**[18:24] Runa**
Nothing. It's just... you actually
*do* care about people?
**[18:28] Giichi**
Oh, shut up!
**[18:29] Giichi**
Of course a director cares about his team.
**[18:34] Giichi**
We've gotta have each other's backs.
Who knows? Next time could be me.
**[18:38] Giichi**
And we've still have tons
of challenges like this ahead.
**[18:41] Giichi**
Even when someone makes
a mistake, or trips up,
**[18:45] Giichi**
we've got to keep filming together.
**[18:50] Giichi**
But even if we shoot it right,
it might never reach its audience.
**[18:54] Giichi**
Maybe nobody will see it...
or maybe they'll trash it...
**[18:59] Giichi**
Oh, this sinking feeling!
**[19:02] Runa**
Oh, he's entered his negative phase.
Well, happens every time.
**[19:05] Mao**
This is kind of early, though.
It's usually after we wrap—
**[19:08] Giichi**
Would you shut up?
You know how sensitive I am!
**[19:11] Runa**
Yeah, gotta have each other's backs.
**[19:14] Mao**
I think I have you covered today.
I feel like I can get the perfect shot.
**[19:20] Mao**
* I'm sure we'll keep repeating this*
* over and over again.*
**[19:23] Mao**
* We get all worked up for it,*
* but then fail, get depressed...*
**[19:27] Mao**
* But despite all that, once this one is done,*
* we'll start making another new movie.*
**[19:32] Mao**
* Because we want to reach someone.*
* We want to change something*
**[19:36] Mao**
*over and over again.*
**[19:37] Runa**
Hey, take a look at this!
**[19:39] Runa**
Teru is talking to Otomo. That's so unusual!
**[19:43] Giichi**
Whoa. It's been, what, maybe half a year
since I've seen Teru open his mouth?
**[19:48] Runa**
Nah, you're exaggerating.
**[19:48] Mao**
*I think Hisashi and I will change, too.*
**[19:50] Giichi**
Not at all.
**[19:52] Mao**
*Bit by bit. I have a feeling we will.*
**[19:56] Giichi**
Great light today, though. A honey-colored
sunset that seems about to melt.
**[20:00] Runa**
You're a poet now?
**[20:02] Runa**
It is pretty, though.
**[20:08] Runa**
Let's get started before we run out of light!
**[20:10] members**
Okay!
**[20:12] Runa**
Let's do a take!
**[20:15] Mao**
* Something will change. The idea*
* does make me a little nervous,*
**[20:19] Mao**
*but I'm not scared anymore.*
**[20:21] Giichi**
Everybody ready?
**[20:24] Giichi**
Action!
**[20:26] Mao**
* I just need to center this moment*
* and watch as it passes*
**[20:30] Mao**
* without looking away,*
* making sure they keep going.*
**[20:34] Mao**
* "Would you let me start over?*
* This time I'll do it for real."*
**[20:38] Mao**
* The class president slowly nods,*
* their shadows grow close,*
**[20:43] Mao**
*and they kiss.*
**[20:46] Mao**
* They share an unsteady embrace*
* and then Otomo, embarrassed, blurts out,*
**[20:53] Mao**
*"I like you... so much."*
**[20:59] Hisashi**
I like you. I really do.
**[21:03] Mao**
* I feel my heart skip a beat.*
* The tip of my nose tingles.*
**[21:09] Mao**
*The "Otomo" inside the camera looks so happy.*
**[21:13] Mao**
* If his lines were different, he wouldn't*
* have sounded nearly as blunt,*
**[21:17] Mao**
*but I bet the director will go with this take.*
**[21:21] Mao**
* That's why I've got to keep*
* the camera rolling.*
**[21:25] Mao**
* Even if tears well up in my eyes*
* and everything goes out of focus,*
**[21:28] Mao**
* even if everything becomes fuzzy,*
* blurry, and indistinct,*
**[21:33] Mao**
* I have to keep the camera rolling*
* until they both melt into the twilight.*
**[21:40] Mao**
*Yes. I like you, too.*
**[21:46] Giichi**
Cut! Okay!
***SIGN*** Next Episode Preview
***SIGN*** Like the Movies
**[23:35] Mao**
*"Like the Movies."*