E9 - Untitled

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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Narration
    Many moons have passed since the Imperial 
    Army went to war with the Hellhorde.
[00:08] Narration
    The royal princess, Commander 
    of the Imperial Third Legion,
[00:12] Narration
    ends up being taken prisoner 
    in the midst of fierce battle.
[00:18] Narration
    Submitted to all manners of 
    torture day in and day out,
[00:24] Narration
    she endures these indignities 
    without so much as a peep.
SIGN    Pop
SIGN    Pop
[00:29] Narration
    She reveals not the secrets 
    of the Royal Empire.
SIGN    Dumb Face-o-Meter
[00:32] Narration
    Yes, by no means will she speak.
[00:36] Narration
    The princess does not give in.
[00:39] Narration
    No, she will never give in!
[00:43] Narration
    And so, the torture continues 
    today, yet again...
SIGN    'Tis Time for "Torture," Princess
[02:24] Narration
    Torture is away on a business trip,
[02:26] Narration
    and with no one in charge, 
    the torture is on break for today.
SIGN    That Evening
[02:39] Torture
    Business trips are always a little tiring.
[02:43] Torture
    But the moment you change into
    loungewear at the hotel,
[02:46] Torture
    and let your body sink into the bed...
[02:49] Torture
    It makes everything feel worth it.
[02:53] Torture
    Utter bliss.
[03:00] Torture
    I feel like I'm going to fall asleep.
[03:02] Torture
    I should eat something.
SIGN    Ham & Cheese
    Burrito
SIGN    Red Kitsune Udon
[03:06] Torture
    Usually, I prepare balanced 
    meals for myself.
[03:09] Torture
    But today's an exception 
    since I'm away on business.
[03:11] Torture
    This secluded business hotel room is 
    a nice change from my own chamber.
[03:14] Torture
    It feels like it's okay 
    to let myself go here.
[03:19] Torture
    Time to eat.
SIGN    Ham & Cheese
    Burrito
[03:22] Torture
    First, this ham and cheese burrito.
[03:26] Torture
    You gently open it...
[03:36] Torture
    Then place a jumbo sausage 
    inside and wrap it back up.
[03:41] Torture
    Done!
[03:42] Torture
    A special ham, cheese, and sausage burrito!
[03:58] Torture
    Delicious.
[04:01] Torture
    It may be delicious, but it's 
    not a very refined meal,
[04:04] Torture
    so it's hard to tell others about it.
SIGN    Red Kitsune Udon
[04:10] Torture
    Next, this cup udon.
[04:18] Torture
    Lately, I enjoy keeping the 
    lid on for a little longer,
[04:21] Torture
    so that the noodles end up softer.
[04:29] Torture
    Now for the fried tofu.
[04:33] Torture
    The broth that's soaked into 
    the tofu comes pouring out,
[04:36] Torture
    and it's a delight just to have in my mouth.
[04:40] Torture
    This tiny egg...
[04:42] Torture
    It's a mystery how they make it,
[04:44] Torture
    but it's tasty and goes 
    very well with the broth.
[04:47] Torture
    I also have some slightly fancy 
    pudding sitting in the fridge today.
[04:55] Torture
    Perhaps I went a little overboard.
SIGN    Torture
    enjoyed herself
SIGN    Breakfast Buffet
SIGN    Hours of Operation
[05:06] Torture
    I ate too much late night.
[05:09] Torture
    Let's eat a lot of vegetables for breakfast.
[05:12] Torture
    No bread or rice, for a healthy—
[05:14] Hotel Staff
    Honey butter rolls, fresh from the oven!
[05:21] Torture
    I don't have a choice if 
    they're fresh from the oven.
SIGN    'Tis Time for "Torture,"
    Princess
SIGN    Sunday
[05:35] Bruse
    What'd you say?!
[05:37] Bruse
    His Majesty is injured?!
SIGN    On Duty This Weekend
    Chief Battle Officer
    
    
    
    
    
    
    Bruse the Destroyer
[05:39] Skeleton Officer
    Yes...
[05:40] Skeleton Officer
    I hear he's received a minor
    injury to his dominant hand.
[05:45] Bruse
    His Majesty's defensive magic is
    supposed to nullify all attacks!
[05:51] Bruse
    Ah!
[05:52] Bruse
    That reminds me, yesterday...
[05:54] Bruse
    It was for an instant, but
    I felt His Majesty's mana!
[05:57] Bruse
    I thought I had imagined it...
[06:00] Bruse
    but was he engaged in combat with someone?!
[06:03] Bruse
    Someone who didn't even give him the
    chance to cast a defensive spell?!
[06:06] Skeleton Officer
    M-Most likely...
[06:10] Bruse
    Who in the world was His Majesty up against?
SIGN    Saturday,
    the Day Prior
[06:21] (Flashback) Group
    Yay!
[06:23] (Flashback) Lulune
    Today is your first day as a pâtissière!
[06:26] (Flashback) Maomao-Chan
    Let's make cookies!
[06:29] (Flashback) Maomao-Chan
    I hope they end up being good.
[06:31] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    It's your first time.
[06:33] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    Don't worry about whether
    they turn out well.
[06:35] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    The important thing is that you try.
[06:38] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    Even if you mess up, don't
    think of it as having failed.
[06:41] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    It's the first step to success.
[06:45] (Flashback) Maomao-Chan
    I want everything to go well
    the first time around!
SIGN    Bam
SIGN    Bam!
[06:50] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    That's fair.
[06:52] (Flashback) Lulune
    You'll be just fine.
[06:54] (Flashback) Lulune
    We're here to help you.
[06:56] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    Indeed.
[06:57] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    The courage to seek help from others,
[06:59] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    another necessary virtue.
[07:02] (Flashback) Lulune
    Let's start by putting
    the butter in the bowl.
[07:06] (Flashback) Maomao-Chan
    Then what?
[07:07] (Flashback) Lulune
    We wait about twenty minutes.
[07:09] (Flashback) Maomao-Chan
    What?!
[07:11] (Flashback) Lulune
    Right now, the butter is still too hard,
[07:13] (Flashback) Lulune
    so we need to wait for it to melt a bit.
[07:15] (Flashback) Maomao-Chan
    No way!
[07:18] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    Geh-heh-heh.
[07:20] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    Fear not.
[07:25] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    Fire Magic: Demon's Heat!
[07:33] Bruse
    What?!
[07:35] (Flashback) Bruse
    That was His Majesty's mana just now!
[07:39] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    It's perfectly melted now,
    thanks to infernal heat.
[07:42] (Flashback) Maomao-Chan
    Yay!
[07:43] (Flashback) Maomao-Chan
    Thanks, Papa!
[07:45] (Flashback) Lulune
    Time to add the powdered mix and eggs.
SIGN    Cookie
    Mix
[07:48] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    Maomao-chan, do you know
    how to break an egg?
[07:51] (Flashback) Maomao-Chan
    No, it's still hard for me.
[07:55] (Flashback) Lulune
    I can break them just fine!
[07:57] (Flashback) Lulune
    One-handed, at that!
SIGN    Bam
[07:58] (Flashback) Maomao-Chan
    What?!
[07:59] (Flashback) Maomao-Chan
    With one hand?!
[08:00] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    Geh-heh-heh.
[08:01] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    It's not a competition.
[08:03] (Flashback) Lulune
    Let me teach you the simplest way.
[08:06] (Flashback) Maomao-Chan
    Sure!
[08:10] (Flashback) Lulune
    First, hit the egg against a flat surface.
[08:14] (Flashback) Lulune
    That'll create a circular crack in the egg.
[08:17] (Flashback) Lulune
    Latch onto it with your thumb,
[08:20] (Flashback) Lulune
    then use your index and middle
    fingers to hold the top end...
[08:23] (Flashback) Lulune
    Now, bend your fingers back!
[08:27] (Flashback) Maomao-Chan
    Magic?!
[08:28] (Flashback) Lulune
    It's a skill.
[08:30] (Flashback) Lulune
    Okay, now add the mix and beat it good!
[08:34] (Flashback) Lulune
    Then roll it out nice and thin.
[08:39] (Flashback) Lulune
    Let's cut out the shapes!
[08:41] (Flashback) Maomao-Chan
    Yay!
[08:45] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    Geh-heh-heh.
[08:47] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    It's a teddy bear.
[08:49] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    Huh?
[08:50] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    What are you doing?
[08:52] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    You're not using a cookie cutter?
[08:55] (Flashback) Maomao-Chan
    I'm making the biggest cookie in the world!
[08:58] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    What?!
[08:59] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    What insatiable hunger!
[09:01] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    She truly is my progeny.
[09:03] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    No, when it comes to cookies, 
    she's already surpassed me.
[09:07] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    That's my Maomao-chan!
[09:14] (Flashback) Lulune
    Here, they're done baking!
[09:18] (Flashback) Maomao-Chan
    Yay!
[09:19] (Flashback) Maomao-Chan
    Lemme see!
[09:19] Lulune
    Ah, wait!
[09:20] (Flashback) Lulune
    The tray's still hot—
[09:20] Maomao-Chan
    Hurry!
[09:30] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    Are you alright?
[09:32] (Flashback) Lulune
    Y-Yes.
[09:34] (Flashback) Lulune
    Thank you.
[09:37] (Flashback) Lulune
    Your hand!
[09:38] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    I am the Hell-Lord!
[09:40] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    This is but a minor burn for me.
[09:46] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    Maomao-chan.
[09:48] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    I understand your impatience,
    but you need to be careful.
[09:51] (Flashback) Maomao-Chan
    Yeah.
[09:52] (Flashback) Maomao-Chan
    I'm sorry.
[09:56] (Flashback) Maomao-Chan
    It's all red!
[09:58] (Flashback) Maomao-Chan
    Mama, get the freezy pack!
[10:03] (Flashback) Maomao-Chan
    How's it feel?
[10:04] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    All better now.
[10:06] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    Geh-heh-heh.
[10:08] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    Maomao-chan, you must be the
    best doctor in the world.
[10:13] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    Now then, we've made all these cookies.
[10:16] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    Let's eat them while they're nice and warm!
[10:31] (Flashback) Maomao-Chan
    The biggest cookie in the
    world is the tastiest, too!
[10:36] (Flashback) Lulune
    Mine came out just as good!
[10:38] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    Geh-heh-heh.
[10:39] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    Scrumptious. Absolutely scrumptious.
[10:42] (Flashback) Hell-Lord
    I'll gobble up every last one!
[10:44] (Flashback) Maomao-Chan
    Ah, don't!
[10:45] Hell-Lord
    Geh-heh-heh!
SIGN    Sunday,
    Present Time
[10:51] Bruse
    His Majesty's wound...
[10:53] Bruse
    Who could be responsible?!
[11:02] Torture
    'Tis time for torture, Princess.
[11:09] Torture
    But first.
[11:12] Torture
    These are a gift from Princess Maomao-chan.
[11:15] Princess
    What? Maomao-chan?!
[11:17] Torture
    It seems she's made baked
    goods for the first time.
[11:19] Princess
    Homemade?!
[11:20] Princess
    I'm so happy!
[11:21] Princess
    Why don't we open them now
    and eat some together?
[11:23] Torture
    No, 'tis the time for torture now.
[11:26] Torture
    I must decline such undue acts of intimacy.
[11:28] Ex
    But handing over sweets is okay?
[11:32] Princess
    That's right.
[11:33] Princess
    Let's save it for after the torture.
[11:35] Torture
    Yes.
[11:36] Torture
    Once the torture's come to an
    end, we cease to be enemies.
[11:40] Ex
    So there's no hard feelings in torture?
[11:43] Torture
    Now, as for today's torture...
[11:47] Torture
    'Tis tea.
[11:48] Princess
    Tea?
[11:49] Torture
    Indeed.
[11:50] Torture
    Our intelligence has uncovered the
    fact that you're quite fond of tea.
[11:56] Torture
    I hear you enjoyed it to the
    point of hosting tea parties.
[12:00] Princess
    Tea parties, huh?
[12:02] Princess
    That takes me back.
[12:05] Princess
    A fun event once or twice a year, where
    I could forget about the battlefield.
[12:10] Princess
    It's true that I was a tea-loving
    princess at those parties.
[12:15] Princess
    But too bad.
[12:19] Princess
    That was nothing more than
    a diplomatic facade!
[12:21] Princess
    Actually, I love cola and lemon-lime soda!
[12:24] Ex
    That's sad to hear from
    the princess of an empire.
[12:28] Princess
    After doing well in my lessons, Jimochi
    would let me have some as an occasional treat.
[12:34] Princess
    I just drank tea on social occasions.
[12:37] Princess
    I wouldn't say I really liked it...
[12:42] Princess
    Hm?
[12:43] Princess
    You're warming up the pot first.
[12:46] Princess
    Looks like you know the
    proper way to brew tea.
[12:51] Princess
    Preparing tea in the proper fashion
    results in a far better taste.
[12:58] Princess
    Drool...
[12:59] Princess
    I wouldn't mind some tea after so long...
[13:01] Ex
    Your Highness?!
[13:02] Ex
    Why do you always blab on
    and dig your own grave?!
[13:06] Ex
    What are you, a self-driving vehicle?!
[13:09] Princess
    How could I let my guard down?!
[13:11] Princess
    That said, today I have this!
[13:15] Princess
    Maomao-chan's homemade sweets!
[13:18] Princess
    You made a grave mistake by
    giving this to me first!
[13:22] Princess
    I can cancel out my desire
    for tea with some snacks!
[13:25] Princess
    Wow, look at these adorable cookies!
[13:31] Princess
    Mmm! They're great!
[13:33] Princess
    The joy of this mild sweet
    sensation is filling my mouth!
[13:38] Princess
    Munch, munch, munch, munch...
[13:39] Princess
    Now I won't succumb to your torture.
[13:42] Princess
    A fatal mistake on your part!
[13:45] Princess
    Well, ideally, I'd love
    a drink, and a warm...
[13:50] Torture
    Warm? Go on.
[13:53] Princess
    Y-You fiend!
[13:55] Princess
    This was your aim from the very start!
[13:57] Torture
    No, you simply brought
    about your own demise.
[14:00] Torture
    I wasn't aware of what
    baked goods she had made.
[14:03] Ex
    Remain calm, Your Highness!
[14:05] Ex
    You're Commander of the
    Imperial Third Legion!
[14:08] Ex
    There's no way you'd be bested
    by such weak temptation!
[14:11] Princess
    You're right.
[14:12] Princess
    I need to remember my days as a knight!
[14:14] Princess
    I only drank that tea at parties
    as a way to socialize!
[14:21] Princess
    Think back!
[14:22] Princess
    Remember!
[14:24] (Flashback) Princess
    It's good, isn't it?
[14:26] Princess
    Thinking back on it, I really do love tea.
[14:29] Ex
    Your Highness?
SIGN    The princess
    confessed
[14:38] Princess
    This tea is the perfect palate cleanser,
[14:40] Princess
    and it brings out the
    sweetness of the cookies!
[14:43] Torture
    I've received cookies from
    Princess Maomao-chan as well.
[14:46] Torture
    Let's enjoy them together.
[14:47] Princess
    Yay!
[14:49] Hell-Lord
    What?
[14:51] Hell-Lord
    There's a mysterious treasure
    buried in the royal cemetery?
[14:55] Kanadge
    Yes.
[14:56] Kanadge
    The princess has told all.
[14:58] Kanadge
    With that treasure, we can penetrate
    the Imperial Army's defensive magic.
[15:03] Hell-Lord
    Geh-heh-heh.
[15:06] Hell-Lord
    We can't go defiling graves now.
SIGN    'Tis Time for "Torture," Princess
[15:17] Vanilla
    Time for your torture, Princess!
[15:21] Princess
    You're...
[15:23] Vanilla
    Don't tell me you've forgotten who I am.
[15:26] Princess
    Of course I remember you.
[15:28] Princess
    Vanilla Peschutz.
[15:29] Vanilla
    What?!
[15:30] Vanilla
    We only met once, and 
    she remembered my name?
SIGN    Harm-Marshal
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    Vanilla Peschutz
[15:34] Ex
    Hello?
[15:35] Vanilla
    H-Hmph!
[15:37] Vanilla
    Well, I suppose you couldn't forget the
    daughter of the noble House of Peschutz!
[15:42] Vanilla
    Today will be different from last time.
[15:44] Vanilla
    I will have my revenge.
[15:48] Vanilla
    Quake and tremble in fear!
[15:51] Vanilla
    Today's torture is...
[15:54] Vanilla
    Cake!
[15:56] Group
    Oh.
[15:58] Group
    Huh?
[16:04] Vanilla
    And this is no ordinary cake.
[16:06] Vanilla
    Why, it's baked by yours truly!
[16:10] Vanilla
    A homemade cake, courtesy of the high-class 
    daughter of the noble House of Peschutz!
[16:19] Vanilla
    I made it all by myself, without 
    any help from Mama or Papa.
[16:25] Vanilla
    The moment you learn that it's handmade,
[16:27] Vanilla
    you'll be overcome with emotion 
    and burst into tears,
[16:30] Vanilla
    pleading for a bite of this cake.
[16:32] Princess
    A cake made by Lady Vanilla herself?
[16:35] Princess
    I want some!
[16:38] Vanilla
    Actually, this cake—
[16:39] Ex
    What a clumsy-looking cake.
[16:41] Vanilla
    Hey!
[16:43] Ex
    The frosting is all messy,
[16:45] Ex
    and the cake as a whole is lopsided.
[16:47] Ex
    And what's this strange object on top?
[16:51] Ex
    A real head-scratcher.
[16:53] Vanilla
    I-It's a penguin!
[16:57] Vanilla
    I-I see, so that's your plan.
[17:00] Vanilla
    Nitpicking at my cake to preempt my attack?
[17:03] Vanilla
    Hmph, how pointless.
[17:06] Vanilla
    Even if it looks a little clumsy,
[17:07] Vanilla
    once she finds out I made it, she's 
    bound to bow before its grandeur.
[17:11] Vanilla
    Yes, even if it's clumsy...
[17:13] Vanilla
    She's powerless before its grandeur!
[17:16] Vanilla
    Clumsy or not...
[17:20] Vanilla
    I tried so hard to make it, too...
[17:24] Princess
    What are you saying, Ex?
[17:27] Princess
    The presentation may be
    a bit clumsy, but look.
[17:31] Princess
    The frosting holds its shape well.
[17:34] Princess
    That's proof that it's
    been whipped with care.
[17:37] Princess
    There's a lot of frosting, which
    was laid on thick with a spatula,
[17:41] Princess
    so it ended up looking lopsided as a whole.
[17:44] Princess
    But this is no sloppy craftsmanship.
[17:46] Princess
    They wanted plenty of that delicious
    frosting to be enjoyed.
[17:49] Princess
    I'm sure that was why they kept
    going back with that spatula.
[17:53] Princess
    Can't you feel the love of the
    person who made this cake?
[18:01] Princess
    And look closely, Ex.
[18:03] Princess
    That's not a strange object.
[18:05] Princess
    It's an adorable penguin!
[18:08] Vanilla
    Prinshess!
[18:10] Princess
    This cake may look really tasty,
[18:13] Princess
    but I'm Commander of the
    Imperial Third Legion.
[18:17] Princess
    This level of torture isn't
    enough to make me give in!
[18:24] Princess
    Huh?!
[18:26] Princess
    What's gotten into you?!
[18:28] Princess
    Does your tummy hurt?
[18:45] Vanilla
    Nope.
[18:47] Vanilla
    Thanks, Princess.
[18:50] Vanilla
    You don't have to confess,
    so please eat the cake.
[18:53] Princess
    Huh?
[18:54] Princess
    Why?!
[19:00] Vanilla
    H-How is it?
[19:03] Princess
    Mm! It's really good!
[19:07] Vanilla
    You really mean it?!
[19:08] Ex
    I'm a sacred blade...
[19:09] Princess
    Really!
SIGN    The cake was
    delicious
[19:15] Hell-Lord
    What?
[19:16] Hell-Lord
    Two failed tortures in a row?
[19:19] Hell-Lord
    From Vanilla Peschutz?
[19:21] Kanadge
    Yes.
[19:22] Kanadge
    A harm-marshal failing twice at torture...
[19:26] Kanadge
    It's a disgrace that puts
    our dignity at stake.
[19:28] Kanadge
    I believe that some form
    of action is needed here.
[19:34] Hell-Lord
    I suppose.
[19:39] Hell-Lord
    It's times like these that call
    for a good support network.
[21:18] Narration
    The Way of the Hell-Lord.
[21:21] Hell-Lord
    Geh-heh-heh.
[21:24] Hell-Lord
    I'll get the worst stains off before
    putting the dishes in the dishwasher.
[21:28] Narration
    The Way of the Hell-Lord, rule number one:
[21:30] Narration
    Take care of the dishes while 
    Mama puts Maomao-chan to bed.
[21:37] Hell-Lord
    Geh-heh-heh.
[21:47] Hell-Lord
    What?!
[21:50] Lulune
    She's finally asleep.
[21:52] Lulune
    I ended up reading to her 
    twelve times tonight.
[21:54] Hell-Lord
    Geh-heh-heh.
[21:55] Hell-Lord
    Sounds like she was a real bundle of energy.
[21:58] Hell-Lord
    Well done.
[22:00] Narration
    The Way of the Hell-Lord, rule number two:
[22:02] Narration
    Evening drinks are always a pleasure.
[22:04] Hell-Lord
    Geh-heh-heh.
[22:06] Hell-Lord
    Looks like this is coming up soon.
SIGN    Pre-School News
SIGN    This month's event is
    the parent-child luncheon!
SIGN    Please come and enjoy
    lunch with your child at school!!
[22:08] Hell-Lord
    A parent-child luncheon.
[22:11] Lulune
    Mm-hmm.
[22:12] Hell-Lord
    One guardian per household can join.
[22:15] Hell-Lord
    Lulune, you attended on both her
    first and second year, didn't you?
[22:20] Narration
    The Way of the Hell-Lord, rule number three:
[22:22] Narration
    When alone, call Mama by her first name.
[22:25] Lulune
    I sure did.
[22:27] Lulune
    The parent-child luncheon
    is always on a weekday.
[22:29] Hell-Lord
    You know, we can take paid time off
    whenever we want in the Hellhorde.
[22:41] Lulune
    Do you want to attend the
    parent-child luncheon?
[22:43] Hell-Lord
    I do want to attend the 
    parent-child luncheon!
[22:46] Narration
    The Way of the Hell-Lord, rule number four:
[22:49] Narration
    Clearly state any and all opinions.
SIGN    Parent-Child
    Luncheon
[22:57] Maomao-Chan
    Look, Papa!
[22:59] Maomao-Chan
    I'm gonna eat my bell peppers!
[23:01] Hell-Lord
    What?!
[23:17] Maomao-Chan
    See, told ya!
[23:19] Hell-Lord
    Geh-heh-heh.
[23:21] Hell-Lord
    Yes.
[23:22] Hell-Lord
    You always find a way to
    surprise me, Maomao-chan.
SIGN    Hellholm Pre-School
[23:27] Maomao-Chan
    There's some more peppers
    left, but you can have them.
[23:30] Maomao-Chan
    Just this once.
[23:31] Hell-Lord
    What angelic kindness from a demon!
[23:34] Hell-Lord
    That's my daughter for you!
[23:37] Hell-Lord
    Geh-heh-heh-heh!