# The Vampire Dies in No Time
Legendary vampire hunter Ronaldo finds an unlikely (and unwilling) ally in Draluc, the world’s weakest vampire who turns to dust at the slightest attack. Together they’re in for more hilarious misadventures than you can shake a stake at, including enemy vampires, axe-wielding editors, and other pains in the neck.
# Season 1
# E1 - The Hunter Comes and Flies in the Sky
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/G8WUN8MN3/the-hunter-comes-and-flies-in-the-sky)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:02] ---**
My son hasn't come home yet.
**[00:04] ---**
He was seen going toward Castle Draluc...
**[00:08] ---**
Draluc...
**[00:09] ---**
He's feared as a progenitor
and an invincible vampire.
**[00:13] ---**
Please, save my son,
Vampire Hunter Ronaldo the Great!
**[00:19] ---**
Leave it to me.
**[00:21] ---**
"Vampire Hunter - Ronaldo"
**[00:28] ---**
Invincible progenitor, huh?
**[00:30] ---**
It'll be a nice addition to my titles
if I hunt that down.
**[00:35] ---**
Now, come out, Draluc!
**[00:39] ---**
Today is your--
**[00:41] ---**
Sand...
**[00:43] ---**
What?!
**[02:17] ---**
"The Hunter Comes and Flies in the Sky"
**[02:17] ---**
"The Hunter Comes and Flies in the Sky"
Sand...
**[02:20] ---**
The progenitor and
invincible vampire, Draluc...
**[02:23] ---**
Wait, you're kidding, right?
**[02:24] ---**
What's with the edge of this door?
Does it have some sort of holy power?
**[02:29] ---**
What?! He can revive himself!
**[02:32] ---**
You got me, you lowly human.
**[02:34] ---**
I just opened the door, though.
**[02:36] ---**
I commend you for your courage
in coming to this castle alone.
**[02:39] ---**
Let me ask you, foolish trespasser:
Did you commit this act of violence
**[02:43] ---**
knowing that I am the progenitor
and invincible vampire, Draluc?
**[02:46] ---**
That's right! I, Vampire Hunter Ronaldo
the Great, have come to eliminate you!
**[02:50] ---**
Is that right?
**[02:51] ---**
He died!
**[02:53] ---**
"Surrender"
I'm sorry, I'm just a hornworm.
Please turn a blind eye.
**[02:56] ---**
"Surrender"
My self-introduction three
shots ago was wasted!
**[02:58] ---**
Are you really Draluc?
You're not just a cosplaying tourist?
**[03:02] ---**
If that were the case, then you would
have killed a cosplaying tourist.
**[03:08] ---**
Are you okay with that?
**[03:10] ---**
I am indeed the vampire, Draluc.
**[03:11] ---**
"Vampire - Draluc"
I am indeed the vampire, Draluc.
**[03:13] ---**
"Vampire - Draluc"
However, I am not the powerful being
you humans make me out to be.
**[03:17] ---**
Hey, what about the part where
you're an invincible progenitor?
**[03:20] ---**
That's...
**[03:22] ---**
"Invincible progenitor!"
"Castle Draluc Tour"
**[03:23] ---**
"Invincible progenitor!"
"Castle Draluc Tour"
...something a tour bus guide
made up that ended up spreading.
**[03:25] ---**
...something a tour bus guide
made up that ended up spreading.
**[03:26] ---**
You should deny stuff like that!
**[03:29] ---**
But the locals believed it
and used it to revive the town.
**[03:29] ---**
"Castle Draluc"
But the locals believed it
and used it to revive the town.
**[03:30] ---**
"Invincible Progenitor Draluc Boxed Lunch"
"Castle Draluc"
But the locals believed it
and used it to revive the town.
**[03:31] ---**
"Invincible Progenitor"
But the locals believed it
and used it to revive the town.
**[03:32] ---**
"Invincible Progenitor Sablés"
"Invincible Progenitor"
But the locals believed it
and used it to revive the town.
**[03:33] ---**
I can't really say anything
after all this time.
**[03:36] ---**
In other words,
the real you is just a small fry.
**[03:39] ---**
Are you mocking me?!
**[03:41] ---**
"NF 2"
**[03:41] ---**
"NF 2"
I'm really strong in fighting games.
Wanna try and fight me?
**[03:43] ---**
I'm really strong in fighting games.
Wanna try and fight me?
**[03:45] ---**
No, I don't!
**[03:46] ---**
What, you don't like fighting games?
**[03:48] ---**
Then, I've got Vamperman--
**[03:51] ---**
Sand...
**[03:53] ---**
On top of being super weak, you also
like weird stuff. There's no saving you!
**[03:56] ---**
What's with that unwarranted slander?
**[03:58] ---**
Don't play dumb, shotacon!
**[04:00] ---**
Hurry up and bring out
the boy you kidnapped!
**[04:01] ---**
Who are you calling a shotacon?
I like pretty girls with beautiful napes!
**[04:05] ---**
Are you a lolicon, too?
You piece of trash!
**[04:08] ---**
Those video games are bait to kidnap
kids, aren't they? You pervert!
**[04:11] ---**
It's not! They are purely my hobby!
**[04:13] ---**
Hobby, as in, "Let's play
with my analog stick"?!
**[04:17] ---**
*You're* the pervert!
**[04:18] ---**
What are you doing, little boy?
**[04:20] ---**
QSQ.
**[04:21] ---**
That's not what he's asking about.
**[04:23] ---**
There're a ton of games here,
so I've been coming every day to play.
**[04:26] ---**
*Every* day?!
**[04:27] ---**
Oh, since vampires sleep during the day.
**[04:30] ---**
I *thought* there were a bunch
of extra save files...
**[04:32] ---**
You should've noticed, then.
**[04:34] ---**
Today, it got late while I was
trying to clear the game.
**[04:38] ---**
Do you think you can get away
with trespassing into my castle?
**[04:42] ---**
I am the vampire, Draluc!
**[04:44] ---**
Oh, yeah? You're uglier than I expected.
**[04:47] ---**
Sand...
**[04:49] ---**
Man, what a letdown.
Come on, we're going home.
**[04:52] ---**
Huh? No way. If I go home now,
I'll probably be yelled at a lot.
**[04:55] ---**
No one's going to yell at you.
**[04:57] ---**
Your mom was really worried about you.
**[05:01] ---**
To a mother, her child is
always the most important.
**[05:05] ---**
What do you know about my mom?
**[05:08] ---**
Shut up! I don't know anything, stupid!
**[05:11] ---**
Anyway, I'm not going
home yet! Later, guys!
**[05:15] ---**
Stop! You'll scratch up the floor!
**[05:17] ---**
Stop, kid!
**[05:18] ---**
You fool.
**[05:20] ---**
Don't think you can beat me
in my own castle!
**[05:24] ---**
Hey, wait! You're up against a kid here!
**[05:27] ---**
Now, boy. Come quietl--
**[05:29] ---**
Sand...
**[05:30] ---**
Idiot!
**[05:36] ---**
That kid...
**[05:38] ---**
Where did he go, damn it?
**[05:40] ---**
Hey, lead the way, stupid vampire!
**[05:42] ---**
Wait, I can still feel the pain in my leg.
**[05:46] ---**
Listen, if anything happens to that kid,
you won't get away unscathed.
**[05:49] ---**
Oh? The great hunter is even
kind to bratty kids, huh?
**[05:52] ---**
Of course!
**[05:54] ---**
You can't be a hunter
just by being strong.
**[05:57] ---**
If people don't know and like you,
then you won't get any jobs.
**[06:01] ---**
I always act like a gentleman
with my clients
**[06:03] ---**
and even work hard participating
in local clean-up campaigns.
**[06:06] ---**
That's how I finally climbed
to where I am now.
**[06:09] ---**
But if something were to
happen to my client's kid?!
**[06:11] ---**
I'll be unemployed tomorrow!
**[06:14] ---**
Okay, I get it. Your face is too close.
**[06:17] ---**
There he is! Over there!
**[06:18] ---**
Damn it, where are the stairs?
**[06:22] ---**
I will turn into a bat and go first!
**[06:24] ---**
Huh?!
**[06:25] ---**
I hope you can make it while that boy
still has blood left, Hunter.
**[06:29] ---**
Bastard.
**[06:32] ---**
You little--
**[06:39] ---**
I... I can't turn back...
**[06:42] ---**
I can't turn back!
**[06:45] ---**
Don't come over here!
**[06:47] ---**
How the hell did you turn into something
that would make people so uncomfortable?!
**[06:49] ---**
I-It's been a long time,
so I forgot how to transform!
**[06:53] ---**
Just give me a little chop!
If I die, I think I'll go back to normal!
**[06:56] ---**
Don't treat dying like a reset button!
**[07:00] ---**
Sand...
**[07:03] ---**
Stop messing around, damn kid!
**[07:05] ---**
Idiots like you with no sense of danger
make more work for hunters!
**[07:09] ---**
Man, you're mean!
**[07:11] ---**
I was verbally abused by this
hunter named Ronaldo just now...
**[07:14] ---**
I am a pig. Please don't post
anything like that, young master.
**[07:18] ---**
Brown-noser!
**[07:19] ---**
Right now, you are the
embodiment of a foolish adult.
**[07:22] ---**
My job depends on people liking me!
Online backlash is scary!
**[07:25] ---**
Wait, stop!
**[07:27] ---**
Ah, he ran away again!
**[07:29] ---**
Children run away on instinct
when they're chased.
**[07:31] ---**
Wait, then why don't we
lure him with something?
**[07:34] ---**
Hm?
**[07:35] ---**
"The War Chronicles of Ronaldo"
What about my autobiography?
**[07:37] ---**
"The War Chronicles of Ronaldo"
You carry that around with you?
**[07:39] ---**
It's published by a real publisher!
If you'd like, you can have a copy! Here!
**[07:43] ---**
No thanks! I wouldn't want it
even if it was stuffed with money!
**[07:46] ---**
You think a rude boy
like that will read this?
**[07:48] ---**
It's kids like that who can see
bright possibilities in litera--
**[07:52] ---**
Speaking of the devil, there he is!
**[07:54] ---**
Damn it, he never stops.
**[07:55] ---**
Hunter, we won't get anywhere like this.
Let's attack from both sides.
**[08:00] ---**
I'll go around and cut in
from the hallway over there.
**[08:02] ---**
You keep chasing after him.
**[08:04] ---**
If you die again, I'm gonna kill you!
**[08:07] ---**
Fool! That room has traps
set for trespassers.
**[08:10] ---**
You and the boy can both become
victims of the traps, Hunter!
**[08:15] ---**
Hm?
**[08:17] ---**
Hey! There was a beam-shooting
thing in there!
**[08:20] ---**
Why did you bring it out here?!
**[08:23] ---**
Sand...
**[08:24] ---**
What the hell is this?
**[08:26] ---**
It, you know, uses low frequencies
to get rid of knots in your shoulders...
**[08:28] ---**
Does that mean you died
from those low frequencies?!
**[08:31] ---**
This thing aimed and fired at me!
**[08:33] ---**
That's the surprise function where
it locks onto trespassers in a room
**[08:36] ---**
and tries to work out knots
in their shoulders!
**[08:39] ---**
That's enough.
You come this way, too!
**[08:42] ---**
No, I'm totally healthy--
**[08:45] ---**
Look, one glance and you can tell
it's full of traps! Stop lying!
**[08:49] ---**
That's what you thought at first glance,
and you still went in?
**[08:52] ---**
Well? What're those spikes?
**[08:54] ---**
These? They're just health implements!
**[08:56] ---**
"Poison Gas"
How do you explain something
as blatant as this?!
**[08:59] ---**
"Poison Gas"
That's a switch that will release a
relaxing floral scent if you step on it.
**[09:04] ---**
All right, you can try that super pointy
acupressure foot massage, then!
**[09:08] ---**
R-Right now, I'm so healthy that
if I get acupressure, it'll kill me...
**[09:15] ---**
Huh?
**[09:17] ---**
It's a floral scent, right?
Relax, damn it!
**[09:21] ---**
I don't like this smell! Sorry!
**[09:26] ---**
Jeez, that was terrible...
**[09:28] ---**
Wait, kid! You got past those traps?!
**[09:31] ---**
No, isn't it harder to get *caught*
in such obvious traps?
**[09:35] ---**
You really are an
unpleasant kid, aren't you?
**[09:37] ---**
We're really going home
this time, you damn kid.
**[09:39] ---**
Seriously?
**[09:40] ---**
And you must return my QSQ!
**[09:42] ---**
Then wait until I clear this stage.
**[09:44] ---**
Just take that and go home!
**[09:45] ---**
Don't take it home with you!
**[09:47] ---**
I'll go home, so just
wait a little longer.
**[09:49] ---**
You just don't know
when to give up, do you?
**[09:58] ---**
Th-That was...
**[10:00] ---**
Um... you know...
**[10:05] ---**
Those are the things that
shoot beams from their eyes!
**[10:07] ---**
You have made a fool of me, humans.
**[10:11] ---**
Do you regret stepping into my castle now?
**[10:15] ---**
Hunter. Protecting a child as you
die is nice and dramatic, isn't it?
**[10:21] ---**
Now, the time for chitchat is over.
**[10:24] ---**
You can both...
**[10:28] ---**
Sand...!
**[10:32] ---**
Why... me...? It wasn't set...
to do that...!
**[10:35] ---**
Wow, concentrated fire.
**[10:38] ---**
Don't... Don't tell me you did something
to the trap's control unit, boy?!
**[10:42] ---**
Oh, I might've pushed some buttons.
**[10:44] ---**
What?!
**[10:45] ---**
I thought it was the AC.
**[10:47] ---**
So careless!
**[10:48] ---**
Damn it, this isn't the end of it!
**[10:50] ---**
Oh, he ran away.
**[10:55] ---**
I forgot about the poison gas!
**[10:57] ---**
Idiot!
**[11:00] ---**
Crap, we need to get outta here!
**[11:01] ---**
Wait! Sorry! Don't leave me behind!
**[11:08] ---**
You really are an idiot, you damn vampire!
**[11:31] ---**
Sand...
**[11:33] ---**
Um, well... you know...
**[11:35] ---**
Dnas...
**[11:37] ---**
Life's full of ups and downs, right?
**[11:43] ---**
I'll at least use you two as an
offering to my castle, Hunter!
**[11:48] ---**
Now, give me your blood... Wha--?!
**[11:52] ---**
Oh, no! The morning sun...!
**[12:09] ---**
"The Idiot, the Convenience Store,
and Impermanence"
**[12:19] ---**
Kameya...
**[12:20] ---**
"Vampire Hunter Weekly" "Reporter - Kameya"
**[12:20] ---**
"Vampire Hunter Weekly" "Reporter - Kameya"
Ronaldo! I heard about
your great achievement!
**[12:21] ---**
"Vampire Hunter Weekly" "Reporter - Kameya"
"Vampire Hunter Weekly" "Reporter - Rokuon"
Ronaldo! I heard about
your great achievement!
**[12:24] ---**
I can't believe you hunted down the
progenitor and invincible vampire, Draluc!
**[12:28] ---**
Will you tell us the details?
**[12:32] ---**
Like I can talk about
the small fry and that kid.
**[12:35] ---**
"Ronaldo Vampire Hunter Agency"
**[12:36] ---**
"Ronaldo Vampire Hunter Agency"
Sorry, I have another job.
Maybe next time.
**[12:37] ---**
Sorry, I have another job.
Maybe next time.
**[12:41] ---**
Ronaldo--
**[12:46] ---**
Welcome back.
**[12:49] ---**
"Vabreze"
**[12:51] ---**
Get out!
**[12:52] ---**
Wait, at least hear me out!
**[12:55] ---**
How did you even find
out about this place?
**[12:57] ---**
From the Directions page on your website.
**[12:59] ---**
Damn it! I know it's on there!
**[13:01] ---**
Why are you still alive
and kicking, anyway?
**[13:03] ---**
Didn't you die after getting
caught in the morning sun?
**[13:05] ---**
I would've been a goner if I had continued
to lay out in the sunlight like that.
**[13:08] ---**
But the boy protected me
and hid me from the sun.
**[13:08] ---**
"Trash Bag"
But the boy protected me
and hid me from the sun.
**[13:13] ---**
"Bottles"
"Trash Bag"
However, the boy's mother said
he couldn't have a pet vampire,
**[13:17] ---**
"Bottles"
"Trash Bag"
so I was driven out.
**[13:19] ---**
So I'll be staying with you for a while.
**[13:22] ---**
Don't come here! And you brought
so much stuff with you, too!
**[13:25] ---**
They're my daily necessities!
**[13:26] ---**
Game consoles don't count as necessities!
**[13:30] ---**
And a coffin?!
**[13:31] ---**
I can't sleep well without it.
**[13:33] ---**
And the thing that shoots beams!
**[13:34] ---**
"Shortened to Eye-Beam Thing"
The "thing that shoots
beams from its eyes."
**[13:37] ---**
Why did you bring it?!
**[13:38] ---**
As a memento. I thought it could be
a hat stand or something.
**[13:40] ---**
No thanks!
**[13:41] ---**
Also, John the Armadillo.
**[13:43] ---**
John?!
**[13:44] ---**
"John the Armadillo"
**[13:46] ---**
I guess you could call him my familiar.
**[13:48] ---**
He wasn't even in the castle!
**[13:51] ---**
Yes, he was. In that room
with all the traps.
**[13:57] ---**
What the hell were you doing?!
**[13:58] ---**
John's hard, so it's fine.
**[14:01] ---**
John, if you don't like something,
it's okay to say so!
**[14:05] ---**
I'll take care of John. *You* get out!
**[14:07] ---**
What? Are you trying to tear apart
the bond between me and John?!
**[14:09] ---**
In the first place, *you're* the reason
my castle was destroyed!
**[14:13] ---**
I'm going to press for damages!
QSQ! Castle! QSQ! John!
**[14:18] ---**
Are you an idiot extortionist
or something?!
**[14:20] ---**
It's part of a hunter's job to help
citizens in need, isn't it?
**[14:23] ---**
It's my job to kill guys
like you dead, too!
**[14:27] ---**
What are you saying?
There are all sorts of vampires.
**[14:30] ---**
The ones that you all fight
are either inferior vampires
**[14:32] ---**
"Inferior Vampires"
The ones that you all fight
are either inferior vampires
**[14:34] ---**
"Inferior Vampires"
or the fellows that bear ill will toward
humans and want to harm them.
**[14:36] ---**
Intelligent and friendly superior
vampires--in other words,
**[14:40] ---**
vampire lords like me--
can coexist with human society.
**[14:45] ---**
So I'll be here starting today.
**[14:49] ---**
You're stupid, harmful, and inferior!
**[14:52] ---**
You're a target that should
be eliminated immediately!
**[14:54] ---**
W-Wait! Please stop with
the certain death set!
**[14:57] ---**
Whoa! Welcome!
**[15:00] ---**
I need help, Ronaldo!
**[15:02] ---**
You're the manager from Vamima, right?
What's the matter?
**[15:06] ---**
I'm embarrassed to say that my idiot son--
**[15:08] ---**
Excuse me, I'm going to trap
something behind the door.
**[15:10] ---**
Sand...
**[15:11] ---**
Trap what?!
**[15:12] ---**
I thought I caught a glimpse
of a person just now...
**[15:15] ---**
Just a part-time temp.
Don't worry about it.
**[15:17] ---**
You trapped your temp worker
and crushed him?
**[15:19] ---**
Bastard, you slammed the door
on me not just once, but twice!
**[15:24] ---**
A vampire!
**[15:25] ---**
Oh, um, that's because, uh--
**[15:27] ---**
After I defeated him, he had a change of
heart and said he wanted to work for me.
**[15:31] ---**
That's what happened!
**[15:32] ---**
Hey, why am I a part-timer?
**[15:35] ---**
Shut up!
**[15:36] ---**
It doesn't matter. Both of you,
please come with me.
**[15:39] ---**
I told you, I need help. Seriously!
**[15:43] ---**
"Vamima!!!"
"Kalbi Bowl Fair!!"
**[15:44] ---**
"Vamima!!!"
"Kalbi Bowl Fair!!"
Get away from me!
**[15:46] ---**
I'm gonna become a vampire.
**[15:46] ---**
"Manager's Son - Bubuo"
I'm gonna become a vampire.
**[15:48] ---**
"Manager's Son - Bubuo"
I don't want any treatment!
**[15:50] ---**
Calm down, Bubuo!
**[15:51] ---**
Don't come near me! I'll bite her!
**[15:55] ---**
What, just a pseudovampire?
**[15:58] ---**
It looks like he was just bitten
by an inferior vampire.
**[16:01] ---**
Yeah, he'll be fine with just
one shot from the hospital.
**[16:05] ---**
Even if you leave it alone, you won't
turn into a real vampire, you know.
**[16:09] ---**
That's what I told him, too.
**[16:11] ---**
Adults are all L-I-A-R-S!
**[16:14] ---**
He's just been playing air guitar and
shouting like that this whole time.
**[16:17] ---**
A troublesome idiot, huh?
**[16:19] ---**
If he hurts the part-timer,
Eri, it'll be bad!
**[16:22] ---**
Please talk him down somehow.
**[16:24] ---**
I guess I have no choice.
**[16:26] ---**
Hey! Why do you want
to be a vampire, anyway?
**[16:30] ---**
Huh?! I-Isn't it obvious?!
**[16:34] ---**
I wanna become a vampire...
a-and live for a long... um...
**[16:40] ---**
Freedom!
**[16:41] ---**
To graduate from society...
**[16:44] ---**
And be free somehow so I can say
bye to this convenience store!
**[16:47] ---**
Your motivation's not very clear, is it?!
**[16:49] ---**
But when I was young,
**[16:51] ---**
I also tried to become a pole dancer
for no particular reason!
**[16:55] ---**
You should keep memories
like that to yourself!
**[16:58] ---**
You! Why do you want to become a vampire
when you're so unsure of yourself?!
**[17:02] ---**
Look at this guy!
**[17:04] ---**
My cape's caught in the automatic door...
**[17:06] ---**
Are you a toddler?
**[17:07] ---**
Wh-What's up with that guy?
**[17:09] ---**
He's a vampire, like what you want to be.
**[17:11] ---**
Hey there, I'm the vampire, Draluc.
**[17:15] ---**
Huh...?
**[17:17] ---**
Hey.
**[17:18] ---**
Huh...?
**[17:19] ---**
What the *hell*...?!
**[17:23] ---**
Right now, you look like you just saw
the girl you like kissing an old man.
**[17:28] ---**
What? A real vampire deigned to show
himself to you and you act so rudely?
**[17:32] ---**
It's because the real vampire
was dying like a drone beetle.
**[17:36] ---**
But the plan to disillusion him and force
him to face reality seems to be working.
**[17:41] ---**
All right, Lord Dral.
Die in a more pathetic way.
**[17:43] ---**
Why are you talking like
a heel in pro wrestlin--?
**[17:46] ---**
Sand...
**[17:48] ---**
A-A guy like that has
nothing to do with me!
**[17:50] ---**
I'll become a stronger vampire than him!
**[17:53] ---**
Oh, is that so?
**[17:55] ---**
But then you'll have nowhere to run!
**[17:57] ---**
Because I, Vampire Hunter Ronaldo
the Great, will eliminate you!
**[18:01] ---**
What?! You're Ronaldo?!
**[18:03] ---**
"The War Chronicles of Ronaldo"
What?! You're Ronaldo?!
**[18:04] ---**
"The War Chronicles of Ronaldo"
I read your autobiography.
**[18:06] ---**
"The War Chronicles of Ronaldo"
It was so good.
**[18:08] ---**
Oh, do you want me to sign it?
**[18:10] ---**
Ronaldo!
**[18:12] ---**
Even after reading *The Ronaldo Chronicles*,
**[18:13] ---**
you still want to make
an enemy of hunters?!
**[18:15] ---**
Being able to fight hunters after
becoming a vampire gets me fired up!
**[18:20] ---**
Hey, why don't you let
your son do as he wish--?
**[18:23] ---**
Ronaldo!
**[18:24] ---**
Anyway! I *will* become a vampire!
**[18:27] ---**
You and my old man should
just get out of my way!
**[18:30] ---**
Indeed. Your ambition
should be respected.
**[18:35] ---**
Draluc, when did you--?
**[18:38] ---**
A pseudovampire cannot
become a full vampire.
**[18:41] ---**
However... I can give you what you desire.
**[18:46] ---**
If you offer me your blood, that is.
**[18:49] ---**
I don't want to become
a weak vampire like you...
**[18:53] ---**
How strong you become...
What kind of ability you'll have...
**[18:58] ---**
It all depends on who you are.
**[19:01] ---**
What, are you losing your nerve?
**[19:05] ---**
Huh?! Don't make fun of me, bastard.
**[19:09] ---**
Fine, make me a vampire!
**[19:12] ---**
Stop, Draluc!
**[19:20] ---**
Sand...
**[19:22] ---**
Ack, a young man's blood is so rich!
**[19:25] ---**
I've been having milk for breakfast,
lunch, and dinner recently,
**[19:28] ---**
so my stomach was surprised
by such rich blood...
**[19:31] ---**
You should just quit being a vampire.
**[19:33] ---**
Damn it... So I can't become
a vampire after all?
**[19:38] ---**
That's what we've been trying to tell you.
**[19:40] ---**
I thought that if I became a vampire,
then I could convince Eri...
**[19:44] ---**
By Eri...?
**[19:46] ---**
You mean me?
**[19:47] ---**
Remember what you said when
I confessed my feelings to you?
**[19:52] ---**
Life's too short for you to
waste it on someone like me.
**[19:57] ---**
I don't want you to have regrets about me.
**[20:01] ---**
I thought that if I became
a vampire with a longer life,
**[20:04] ---**
I could put you at ease!
**[20:08] ---**
Bubuo... I was trying
to turn you down gently.
**[20:13] ---**
I was just being nice to you
because you're the manager's son.
**[20:17] ---**
But you're not my type at all.
**[20:20] ---**
In the first place, going crazy and taking
me hostage is out of the question.
**[20:25] ---**
Anyway, I'm quitting this month
**[20:28] ---**
to marry a rich guy
20 years older than me.
**[20:33] ---**
Well, my shift's over,
so I'm leaving now, Manager.
**[20:38] ---**
Huh? Uh, right...
**[20:45] ---**
I want to be a bird...
**[20:46] ---**
Live strong!
**[20:48] ---**
Anyway, I guess this case is--
**[20:50] ---**
I saw that, Ronaldo!
**[20:54] ---**
You took care of the
next job speedily, too!
**[20:56] ---**
And you were working with a vampire!
**[20:58] ---**
This is going to be big!
**[21:00] ---**
Please let us write this up
in *Vampire Hunter Weekly*!
**[21:03] ---**
Wait, this is just--
**[21:05] ---**
Oh, can we get a comment, Mr. Manager?
**[21:08] ---**
I knew that it was their plan all along.
**[21:12] ---**
Don't get excited about
the press, Manager!
**[21:15] ---**
You could say that this
was resolved thanks to me.
**[21:18] ---**
And what do you think *you're* saying?!
**[21:21] ---**
A comment from you, too, Ronaldo!
**[21:23] ---**
Teaming up with a vampire!
How did it start?
**[21:27] ---**
No, that's not--
**[21:28] ---**
Tell us your plans for the new
Ronaldo Vampire Hunter Agency
**[21:32] ---**
now that you've teamed up!
**[21:34] ---**
W-Well... um...
**[21:38] ---**
W-We'll *hunt* down any job you've got...
**[21:44] ---**
Yeah!
**[21:50] ---**
"From the depths of darkness"
**[21:53] ---**
"Coming to you"
**[21:55] ---**
Bastard. You betrayed me,
didn't you, Draluc?!
**[21:59] ---**
Betraying hunters is what vampires do.
**[22:06] ---**
The vampire dies in no time.
# E2 - Assault! Mr. Fukuma
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GZ7UV84V3/assault-mr-fukuma)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:03] ---**
"The War Chronicles of Ronaldo"
This is more interesting than I expected.
**[00:06] ---**
You were so full of yourself that you gave
me your autobiography when we first met,
**[00:09] ---**
but this isn't bad reading--
**[00:11] ---**
Sand...
**[00:14] ---**
I'll kill you.
**[00:15] ---**
It really is interesting.
**[00:17] ---**
Your experience as a hunter has translated
well into an entertaining novel.
**[00:22] ---**
Shut up. Your flattery is pissing me off.
**[00:26] ---**
By the way, I bought some Hokkaido
Special Select Milk. You can have it.
**[00:30] ---**
You're so easy.
**[00:31] ---**
If a pretty girl tries to sell you
a painting, don't buy it.
**[00:36] ---**
Who're you calling an easy mark, bastard?
**[00:39] ---**
Yes, this is Ronaldo--
**[00:40] ---**
This is Fukuma from Autumn Books.
**[00:47] ---**
"Autumn Books"
"Mr. Fukuma"
**[00:47] ---**
"Autumn Books"
"Mr. Fukuma"
Is the manuscript for *The War Chronicles
of Ronaldo* volume 2 ready yet?
**[00:50] ---**
Is the manuscript for *The War Chronicles
of Ronaldo* volume 2 ready yet?
**[02:30] ---**
Thanks to everyone reading
*The Ronaldo Chronicles*,
**[02:31] ---**
"Assault! Mr. Fukuma"
Thanks to everyone reading
*The Ronaldo Chronicles*,
**[02:33] ---**
"Assault! Mr. Fukuma"
a second volume is scheduled
to be released.
**[02:36] ---**
The manuscript for that was due today...
**[02:39] ---**
"Please don't look for me"
So I'm going to hide for a while.
**[02:41] ---**
"Please don't look for me"
Did you forget about it?
**[02:42] ---**
Shut up! I had a lot going on
because of you!
**[02:46] ---**
My only options now are to flee the
country or hide in a nuclear bomb shelter!
**[02:50] ---**
Apologize and start writing it
properly right now.
**[02:52] ---**
You can only say that because you don't
know what Mr. Fukuma's like when he's mad!
**[02:57] ---**
Is Mr. Fukuma the person
you were talking to earlier?
**[03:01] ---**
Yeah...
**[03:02] ---**
"Autumn Books"
"Editor - Fukuma"
Mr. Fukuma is the editor
for *The Ronaldo Chronicles*.
**[03:05] ---**
"Autumn Books"
"Editor - Fukuma"
He's still young, but he's capable and
confident. A top editor at Autumn Books.
**[03:08] ---**
He's still young, but he's capable and
confident. A top editor at Autumn Books.
**[03:09] ---**
What? He's too good for you.
**[03:12] ---**
His fighting style is Fist of the
South Star Editorial Battle-Axe.
**[03:14] ---**
His weapon is a battle-axe,
just like the name says.
**[03:17] ---**
What?!
**[03:18] ---**
Why does an editor have mastery
over such a scary fighting style?
**[03:22] ---**
Having mastery of martial arts and weapons
is a requirement to work for Autumn Books.
**[03:26] ---**
It's the policy of the whole company?!
**[03:29] ---**
Soon after I first met Mr. Fukuma,
**[03:31] ---**
I treated writing *The Ronaldo Chronicles*
as something I did in my free time...
**[03:36] ---**
Ronaldo, your progress on
the manuscript seems slow.
**[03:40] ---**
Oh, sorry! My day job's
been keeping me busy...
**[03:43] ---**
Is that so?
**[03:48] ---**
I am so very sorry...
**[03:51] ---**
You should meet your
deadlines for any job.
**[03:56] ---**
Ever since then, I decided that
I would never defy him again.
**[04:01] ---**
If he finds out I haven't
written anything yet,
**[04:03] ---**
he'll chop off even what's below
my underwear this time, and I'll die!
**[04:06] ---**
Even if I were to survive,
I'd be a woman starting tomorrow!
**[04:08] ---**
Oh, Ronalina...
**[04:08] ---**
"Ronalina"
Oh, Ronalina...
**[04:10] ---**
Stop with the Ronalina act.
**[04:11] ---**
I don't want to imagine it.
**[04:14] ---**
That's how it is, so--
**[04:15] ---**
"Ahhhh"
**[04:17] ---**
Sand!
**[04:18] ---**
--Y-Yes, this is Ronaldo!
--This is Fukuma.
**[04:20] ---**
How's the manuscript going?
**[04:22] ---**
Uh, yeah, well--
**[04:24] ---**
I can't wait to read your manuscript.
**[04:28] ---**
U-Um, what's that banging
sound in the background?
**[04:31] ---**
I'm testing the door of the
new iron maiden I bought.
**[04:35] ---**
He's gonna kill me!
**[04:37] ---**
I heard you've teamed up with a vampire,
**[04:39] ---**
so I'm looking forward to
reading about that, too.
**[04:42] ---**
U-Um, that's, uh--
**[04:46] ---**
A-Argh, what are you doing, Draluc?!
**[04:50] ---**
What's the matter, Ronaldo?
**[04:52] ---**
Draluc... He's attacking me--
**[04:57] ---**
Don't--
**[04:58] ---**
Don't worry about me or the manuscript!
**[05:01] ---**
Are you all right, Ronaldo?
**[05:03] ---**
I'm fine, but the manuscript--
**[05:05] ---**
I understand. I'll go over there right now
and chop down that vampire.
**[05:10] ---**
If I do that, I can have
the manuscript, right?
**[05:14] ---**
Huh?
**[05:19] ---**
Idiot! Why did you get me
involved?! Die by yourself!
**[05:22] ---**
Shut up! I wasn't expecting it
to turn out like this!
**[05:25] ---**
John, help me! Protect me!
**[05:28] ---**
Stop that! You're putting
John on the spot!
**[05:30] ---**
You don't have to sacrifice
yourself for him, John!
**[05:33] ---**
A-Anyway, once Mr. Fukuma
gets here, it'll be over for us!
**[05:37] ---**
We must figure out a plan to save us
from this hopeless situation!
**[05:40] ---**
This is just for temporary peace of mind,
but let's power up the eye-beam thing.
**[05:43] ---**
Why didn't you bring the dozens
you had with you?!
**[05:46] ---**
Quiet! You think of something, too!
**[05:49] ---**
U-Um, uh... um, um...
**[05:51] ---**
L-Light a bunch of fires around
the agency or something?
**[05:54] ---**
Trying to scare off animals?
**[05:55] ---**
Huh? Um, then, uh---
**[05:57] ---**
Cats! Get a bunch of cats
that are so cute that--
**[06:00] ---**
Calm down! Take a deep breath!
**[06:02] ---**
Actually, it'd be faster
if you ran away from here!
**[06:04] ---**
It doesn't matter where, just hide--
**[06:12] ---**
Hey.
**[06:13] ---**
I-Idiot, no. No one could get from Tokyo
to Shin-Yokohama that fast...
**[06:34] ---**
He's dragging his battle-axe!
**[06:37] ---**
It's *your* problem!
**[06:39] ---**
Hurry up and get out of here
and get chopped up!
**[06:41] ---**
"Ronaldo Vampire Hunter Agency"
"Everyone welcome"
*You* should be a decoy!
**[06:42] ---**
"Ronaldo Vampire Hunter Agency"
"Everyone welcome"
Ronaldo Junior isn't gonna regenerate!
**[06:45] ---**
Sand!
**[06:48] ---**
A-A blackout!
**[06:50] ---**
Oh, no! The eye-beam thing
went into sleep mode!
**[06:53] ---**
Flashlight! Flashlight!
**[06:56] ---**
Hey, if you can't see,
then don't keep moving around--
**[06:59] ---**
Wait! Since I can see in the dark,
I can run away by myself!
**[07:04] ---**
Farewell, Ronaldo!
I'm abandoning you!
**[07:13] ---**
If I use a light, then he'll
figure out where I am.
**[07:17] ---**
Damn it, where's Mr. Fukuma?
**[07:19] ---**
Ronaldo, over here.
**[07:22] ---**
What's over there?
**[07:25] ---**
I got him, Mr. Fukuma!
**[07:31] ---**
How very kind of you.
**[07:35] ---**
Now, Ronaldo, can I have your manuscript?
**[07:39] ---**
M-Mr. Fukuma...!
**[07:41] ---**
How dare you betray me, Draluc!
**[07:45] ---**
Vampires are supposed to betray hunters.
**[07:47] ---**
Besides...
**[07:49] ---**
Mr. Fukuma said they had extra games
in the editorial department I could have,
**[07:52] ---**
so I couldn't help myself.
**[07:53] ---**
A vampire shouldn't be lured by things!
**[07:56] ---**
And anyway, there's no way
you could hold me down!
**[08:01] ---**
Oh, yeah, I forgot!
**[08:04] ---**
Sorry, Mr. Fukuma! I can't die yet!
**[08:07] ---**
Please wait another two weeks
for the manuscript!
**[08:14] ---**
Hey, wai--
**[08:28] ---**
"Groan..."
**[08:32] ---**
Now, you can work there
until you finish writing it.
**[08:36] ---**
Oh, so that's how you use this.
**[08:43] ---**
"Falling Like Flowers in Shin-Yokohama"
**[08:47] ---**
The cell culture experiment was a success.
**[08:50] ---**
All that's left is to see
how effective this is...
**[08:52] ---**
"Vampire Research Center"
"Director - Yomotsuzaka"
All that's left is to see
how effective this is...
**[09:10] ---**
Hey, Ronaldo. About my pay--
**[09:13] ---**
Huh?
**[09:14] ---**
Do I get it the following month?
Is it a fixed salary with commission?
**[09:17] ---**
What?!
**[09:18] ---**
How much do I get this
month? About 500,000?
**[09:21] ---**
What?!
**[09:23] ---**
What you're saying is so crazy
I don't know where to even start!
**[09:26] ---**
There's no way you're
getting a single yen! Idiot!
**[09:32] ---**
Sand...
**[09:34] ---**
Stop messing around!
**[09:35] ---**
What are you gonna do to my plan
to rebuild Castle Draluc?!
**[09:35] ---**
"2 Trillion Yen Savings Box"
What are you gonna do to my plan
to rebuild Castle Draluc?!
**[09:38] ---**
"2 Trillion Yen Savings Box"
Even if you make 500,000 yen a month,
it'll take 330,000 years to fill that!
**[09:42] ---**
"2 Trillion Yen Savings Box"
Do you realize that?!
**[09:43] ---**
Before talking about salary or whatever,
**[09:45] ---**
maybe you should do some
work, damn small fry!
**[09:47] ---**
Va...! Vampire!
**[09:49] ---**
What now?
**[09:51] ---**
Hello, this is Ronaldo.
**[09:53] ---**
Ronaldo, are you free?
**[09:56] ---**
A vampire just appeared.
Come give me a hand.
**[10:02] ---**
Thanks, Ronaldo.
Everyone's busy tonight.
**[10:05] ---**
What kind of vampire is it?
**[10:07] ---**
"Vampire Hunter"
"'Left Hand of Iron' Satetsu"
**[10:07] ---**
"Vampire Hunter"
"'Left Hand of Iron' Satetsu"
A vampire captured by the Vampire
Research Center ran away.
**[10:12] ---**
Apparently, it's a vampire
that can control plants.
**[10:16] ---**
We should hurry up and hunt it down.
**[10:19] ---**
Don't get in the way by mistake, Dralu--!
**[10:24] ---**
The guy that was with you
put that up earlier and went away...
**[10:27] ---**
Tell me if he does that!
**[10:29] ---**
I-I didn't know if it was
something I should tell you...
**[10:36] ---**
You don't take me seriously. That's why I
was able to steal a march on you, Ronaldo.
**[10:40] ---**
I, Draluc, will hunt down the inferior
vampires around there before you do.
**[10:44] ---**
When I do...
**[10:46] ---**
I underestimated you!
**[10:48] ---**
Yes.
**[10:49] ---**
Sorry, Ronaldo.
I'll be an overnight hero!
**[10:53] ---**
It's not just the compensation.
**[10:54] ---**
Making the whole agency mine
isn't too much to dream of.
**[10:57] ---**
When that happens-- What the--?
**[10:59] ---**
Grade Schooler Tackle!
**[11:01] ---**
Sand...
**[11:03] ---**
All right! I defeated the bad vampire!
**[11:06] ---**
Good job, Shin!
**[11:08] ---**
Like taking candy from a baby.
**[11:10] ---**
Yeah!
**[11:11] ---**
Who are you people?!
**[11:14] ---**
We are...
**[11:16] ---**
...the Shin-Yokohama Boy Hunters!
**[11:19] ---**
We heard that a bad vampire appeared.
**[11:22] ---**
So we came to defeat him!
**[11:24] ---**
And so--
**[11:25] ---**
Grade Schooler Stomping!
**[11:28] ---**
Stop that!
**[11:29] ---**
You've got the wrong vampire!
I'm not a bad vampire.
**[11:33] ---**
I'm actually a super cool
vampire who helps hunters!
**[11:41] ---**
What is it?
**[11:42] ---**
Shh! Be quiet.
**[11:43] ---**
Your playing around
lured out the real one.
**[11:47] ---**
This isn't a small fry. It's a superior
vampire--a vampire lord.
**[11:53] ---**
He smells like a compatriot.
**[11:57] ---**
My compatriot, who bares his fangs
at humans! Come, show yourself!
**[12:15] ---**
My foolish compatriot,
who works with humans...
**[12:24] ---**
"Vampire - Nudenium"
I am the vampire, Nudenium.
**[12:29] ---**
I will bury this town in flowers.
If you get in my way...
**[12:33] ---**
...I will not go easy on you!
**[12:37] ---**
That? That smells like your compatriot?!
**[12:40] ---**
I take it back! I take it back!
**[12:43] ---**
Damn it, don't get scared!
Guys, Formation Delta!
**[12:47] ---**
They're running away!
**[12:48] ---**
You're not as popular as I thought!
**[12:49] ---**
Shut up!
**[12:51] ---**
Oh? Will you hold your ground?
Interesting. I like you, compatriot.
**[12:56] ---**
And you, boy!
**[12:57] ---**
Don't like me! Don't like me!
**[12:59] ---**
I'm sorry for trying to sound fancy,
but will you stop calling me "compatriot"?
**[13:04] ---**
First, I'll "plant" you two!
**[13:20] ---**
Now, swallow this seed.
**[13:22] ---**
No way!
**[13:24] ---**
If you swallow it,
you will become of my blood,
**[13:27] ---**
and you will be able to inherit my power.
**[13:29] ---**
No way!
**[13:31] ---**
I can't take it anymore!
**[13:32] ---**
I don't want to get more involved
with this guy than I already am!
**[13:35] ---**
Even if you lose your
nerve now, it's too late!
**[13:39] ---**
Special Move: Swift Blossom Running!
**[13:45] ---**
He got around us! He's really fast
and hard to deal with!
**[13:49] ---**
If it's come to this, we have
no choice but to fight, Damn Kid!
**[13:52] ---**
How are we supposed to fight *that*,
Damn Weak Old Man?
**[13:54] ---**
Quiet!
**[13:56] ---**
Draw him close for an instant!
I'll surprise him and bite him!
**[14:02] ---**
Listen, with vampires,
**[14:04] ---**
whoever has stronger blood
can control the other.
**[14:08] ---**
If my blood is superior,
then I can control that guy.
**[14:11] ---**
What if you can't?
**[14:13] ---**
Yo-ho!
**[14:15] ---**
We'll be made to swallow that
seed and end up like this.
**[14:17] ---**
I'd rather die!
**[14:20] ---**
He's here! Draw him to you somehow!
**[14:23] ---**
Take this! Grade Schooler Sand Attack!
**[14:26] ---**
Impudent child.
**[14:28] ---**
I won't fall for that!
**[14:34] ---**
What?!
**[14:46] ---**
Damn Weak Old Man...?
**[14:57] ---**
You almost got me.
**[15:00] ---**
Now, become of my bloo--
**[15:17] ---**
Damn it.
**[15:19] ---**
I caught something gross.
**[15:23] ---**
R-Ronaldo, well done!
**[15:26] ---**
What do you mean, "well done"?
Going off on your own like that!
**[15:31] ---**
Oh, but I worked pretty hard
this time, don't you think?
**[15:38] ---**
Well, I guess it wasn't bad for you.
**[15:41] ---**
That's right! Now, pay me for my work!
I think about 1,000,000 yen should do it.
**[15:46] ---**
Okay, fine. I'll give you payment in kind!
**[15:48] ---**
No thanks.
**[15:52] ---**
I didn't think it'd work so well.
**[15:55] ---**
It's just a nutritional supplement.
**[16:00] ---**
Here we go.
**[16:03] ---**
Oh, my, it's gone completely wild.
**[16:12] ---**
"Can a Bang on the Wall Kill Him?"
**[16:15] ---**
"Can a Bang on the Wall Kill Him?"
What the hell? Why is the lid
of your coffin on the floor?!
**[16:16] ---**
What the hell? Why is the lid
of your coffin on the floor?!
**[16:18] ---**
Ouch! Look, there's blood!
**[16:20] ---**
Your blood? That doesn't
sound very appetizing.
**[16:24] ---**
I'll kill you!
**[16:25] ---**
Don't be angry.
**[16:26] ---**
For a vampire, what's most delicious
is the lifeblood of a young virgin.
**[16:31] ---**
I'm mad about the lid!
**[16:33] ---**
I *have* only been drinking milk recently.
**[16:36] ---**
It's about time I have some
blood that's full of life.
**[16:38] ---**
Oh, I want to take a bite out
of a girl with a pretty nape.
**[16:42] ---**
If you say that outside, you'll be
arrested before getting hunted down.
**[16:46] ---**
Excuse me!
**[16:48] ---**
Yes, coming!
**[16:51] ---**
Hello there.
**[16:53] ---**
Is this the residence of a Mr. Ronaldo?
**[16:56] ---**
Is this voluntary? Should I call a lawyer?
**[16:59] ---**
Did you do something
you should be arrested for?
**[17:03] ---**
Unfortunately, we did not
come here today to arrest you.
**[17:07] ---**
I'm Hinaichi from the Kanagawa Prefectural
Police Vampire Control Division.
**[17:11] ---**
"Vice-Captain - Hinaichi"
**[17:11] ---**
"Vice-Captain - Hinaichi"
Hunter Ronaldo, I have come
to investigate your vampire.
**[17:17] ---**
The Vampire Control Division...
**[17:20] ---**
We'll leave you to it, then.
**[17:22] ---**
Thanks for bringing me here.
**[17:24] ---**
Well? What are you
planning to investigate?
**[17:27] ---**
"Vampire Danger Levels"
"Earthworm - Leave it alone"
Well? What are you
planning to investigate?
**[17:29] ---**
"Vampire Danger Levels"
"Earthworm - Leave it alone"
You'll just see that the idiot is at
the same level as an earthworm.
**[17:31] ---**
"Vampire Danger Levels"
"Earthworm - Leave it alone"
It's just to be safe.
**[17:33] ---**
For example,
**[17:34] ---**
has he said anything dangerous that would
indicate a desire to harm humans?
**[17:38] ---**
You guys sure are sticklers for the rules.
**[17:40] ---**
Nothing like that would even
cross that idiot's mi--
**[17:43] ---**
He's said it before!
**[17:44] ---**
Oh, I want to take a bite out
of a girl with a pretty nape.
**[17:47] ---**
He was totally saying something that
would cause a human harm earlier!
**[17:50] ---**
"Suspension of Business"
This is bad! If she hears that, it could
drag me down and ruin my life, too!
**[17:54] ---**
Damn it, why did Vamp Control
have to send a *girl*?
**[17:58] ---**
And she's pretty cute, too!
What are they playing at?
**[18:00] ---**
"That Idiot"
And she's pretty cute, too!
What are they playing at?
**[18:00] ---**
"That Idiot"
If he sees her, that idiot will
100% let something slip.
**[18:04] ---**
I can't let them meet.
**[18:06] ---**
I can feel the bad end coming
if he gets even one glimpse of her.
**[18:10] ---**
What should I do?
**[18:11] ---**
I have to do something before
they meet... Something...!
**[18:17] ---**
I'll kill him! I'll kill that idiot
before they meet!
**[18:20] ---**
To do that, I have to keep the girl
here somehow... and kill that guy!
**[18:27] ---**
What's the matter? Hurry up
and let me see that vampir--
**[18:30] ---**
Whoops, I slipped!
**[18:33] ---**
Secret Technique: Hunter Wall Slam!
**[18:36] ---**
Wh-What are you doing out of the blue?
What are you trying to do?
**[18:40] ---**
Draluc should've died with the
vibrations that went through the wall.
**[18:43] ---**
Hey, are you listening?
**[18:45] ---**
How was it?
**[18:51] ---**
--I failed!
**[18:52] ---**
--At what?!
--I failed!
**[18:53] ---**
What do you mean, you failed?
**[18:55] ---**
Don't tell me you're hiding
something about that vampire!
**[19:00] ---**
If that's the case--
**[19:01] ---**
Secret Technique: Hunter 16-Beat Stomp!
**[19:04] ---**
What are you doing?!
**[19:06] ---**
Well... There was a bug crawling around,
so I was trying to trample it.
**[19:09] ---**
Why do you keep looking like
you've accomplished something?
**[19:12] ---**
It was an ultimate move to kill him
with the vibrations in the floor, but...
**[19:17] ---**
Maybe vibrations aren't good enough?!
**[19:20] ---**
In the first place, it's hard
to tell if he's died or not.
**[19:24] ---**
John!
**[19:27] ---**
What, is that your armadillo?
**[19:30] ---**
Um, well...
**[19:32] ---**
I was worried for a second.
But it's a good chance--
**[19:35] ---**
There, there, John...
**[19:37] ---**
I need a favor. Give Lord Dral
a little punch and kill him for me.
**[19:43] ---**
S-Sorry! I was kidding! I-I'm sorry!
S-Sorry about that, John.
**[19:47] ---**
Will you just make a little ball for me?
That's all you need to do.
**[19:52] ---**
And then, with this garlic...
**[19:56] ---**
Secret Technique: Hunter Throw-In!
**[19:58] ---**
'Madillo!
**[19:59] ---**
If John unrolls in the other room, then...
**[20:03] ---**
...Draluc will die from
the smell of garlic!
**[20:05] ---**
Sorry, John! I'm really sorry!
Do your best!
**[20:14] ---**
John!
**[20:16] ---**
John...!
**[20:18] ---**
What's all the racket about?
**[20:22] ---**
Stop messing around!
What are you trying to...?
**[20:32] ---**
--Dral--
--Oh, what a beautiful lady.
**[20:33] ---**
--Oh, what a beautiful lady.
**[20:36] ---**
I apologize for Ronaldo's rudeness.
**[20:44] ---**
I am honored to make your acquaintance.
Did you have business with me?
**[20:51] ---**
Huh?
**[20:53] ---**
Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-What is this vampire doing?!
**[20:57] ---**
F-Fine! That hunter wasted my time
today with his strange behavior!
**[21:01] ---**
I will return another day!
Wait for what's coming to you!
**[21:07] ---**
You... What was that earlier
that set my teeth on edge?
**[21:10] ---**
What are you talking about?
I was just being polite to a lady.
**[21:15] ---**
My, her blood seemed
delicious--she was cute.
**[21:19] ---**
Maybe if we become friends,
she'll let me have a sip.
**[21:22] ---**
I look forward to her return!
**[21:24] ---**
You *are* thinking dangerous thoughts!
**[21:27] ---**
What dangerous thoughts? I--
**[21:30] ---**
Hm?
**[21:33] ---**
It stinks!
**[21:34] ---**
Sand!
**[21:38] ---**
S-Sorry. Really, I'm so sorry, John.
**[21:45] ---**
I said I'm sorry...
**[21:51] ---**
Those of my blood believe
**[21:53] ---**
the human society convenient and
useful to us should be preserved.
**[21:57] ---**
In other words,
it seems fun, so we'll help.
**[21:58] ---**
"Protectors of humans
who fight in the night"
In other words,
it seems fun, so we'll help.
**[22:01] ---**
That's how it is.
**[22:03] ---**
I'll risk my life to beat you,
damn bastard!
**[22:07] ---**
The vampire dies in no time.
# E3 - Ridiculous Hunter Guild
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GD9UVJXVG/ridiculous-hunter-guild)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:07] ---**
It's a vampire!
**[00:23] ---**
Are you boys hurt?
**[00:25] ---**
Huh? N-No.
**[00:27] ---**
Then, I will return to the station.
Have the VRC collect the body.
**[00:31] ---**
Right!
**[00:32] ---**
Roger that!
**[00:34] ---**
I'm leaving it to you.
**[00:38] ---**
What is she?
**[00:40] ---**
She's a monster. She's an elite member
of the Vampire Control Division.
**[00:43] ---**
Elite?
**[00:45] ---**
She skipped a grade and was the
youngest person to ever join the force.
**[00:48] ---**
A supernova who became
vice-captain right away.
**[00:51] ---**
In battle, there's no one better.
She's the ace of aces.
**[00:55] ---**
Wow... Someone like that will
definitely have a successful career.
**[02:33] ---**
"Shin-Yokohama Police Station"
**[02:33] ---**
"Shin-Yokohama Police Station"
"Highway to Success, Path to Failure"
**[02:37] ---**
"Vampire Control Division"
I have read your written request.
**[02:40] ---**
The vampire, Draluc, huh? Hmm...
**[02:41] ---**
"Kanagawa Prefectural Police
Vampire Control Division"
"Captain - Hiyoshi"
The vampire, Draluc, huh? Hmm...
**[02:44] ---**
I don't think he's that impressive
of an opponent, though.
**[02:47] ---**
Captain, you can't take him lightly!
**[02:49] ---**
He's a vampire lord who has been
around for over 200 years!
**[02:53] ---**
Losing his stronghold at the end
of his fight with Ronaldo
**[02:56] ---**
could also be seen as how
he got close to him.
**[02:59] ---**
Above all, I don't believe a vampire
who would do *that* is a simple weakling.
**[03:06] ---**
He's hiding his true self.
The threat is still unknown!
**[03:09] ---**
Please allow me...
**[03:11] ---**
Please allow me to conduct surveillance
on the vampire, Draluc!
**[03:17] ---**
The vampire, Draluc...
**[03:19] ---**
If I observe him from the shadows,
he might show his true colors.
**[03:23] ---**
There he is.
**[03:24] ---**
Man, I'm hungry.
**[03:26] ---**
Jeez, I can't believe there's
nothing in the frid--
**[03:31] ---**
He died!
**[03:33] ---**
Why did he die right after
leaving the building?!
**[03:35] ---**
"Poison Swamp"
Why did he die right after
leaving the building?!
**[03:35] ---**
"Poison Swamp"
Did he step in a poison swamp?
**[03:37] ---**
N-No... could he really just be weak?
**[03:41] ---**
But really, why did he die?
**[03:45] ---**
Wait, if there's a reason for his death...
There's no doubt about it!
**[03:49] ---**
He's guessed that he's being watched
and he's pretending to be weak!
**[03:54] ---**
In order to keep humans
**[03:55] ---**
from being suspicious
after he's gotten close to them.
**[03:58] ---**
Anyone else might've gotten tricked
and stopped the investigation.
**[04:01] ---**
I can't believe he's making me think
so much just with his normal life!
**[04:06] ---**
Be that as it may, that hunter, Ronaldo,
has really let his guard down.
**[04:10] ---**
Idiot... Ronaldo, you are a fool!
**[04:14] ---**
I'll follow them while
keeping my distance.
**[04:16] ---**
If Draluc puts up his antenna,
he might notice me.
**[04:25] ---**
Where are those two going?
**[04:28] ---**
Sand!
**[04:29] ---**
Oh, a dog barked?
**[04:33] ---**
Sand!
**[04:34] ---**
A woman tackled him?
**[04:36] ---**
Here you go.
**[04:37] ---**
Thanks.
**[04:37] ---**
Here you go.
**[04:39] ---**
Here you go.
**[04:40] ---**
Sand?!
**[04:41] ---**
What was that? Why did he die just now?!
**[04:45] ---**
He's making himself look weak
to the people around town, too?
**[04:48] ---**
He's thorough.
**[04:50] ---**
Which means... he's aiming to
control this whole town?!
**[04:55] ---**
And pretending to be weak
is the prep work for that?!
**[04:58] ---**
So cunning...
**[05:01] ---**
Their destination is that supermarket?
**[05:06] ---**
Hey, what happened to Draluc?!
**[05:08] ---**
I can't believe you left him alone,
Ronaldo, you fool!
**[05:11] ---**
Damn it, where's Draluc?!
**[05:12] ---**
Oh, it's the Damn Weak Old Man!
**[05:15] ---**
--He dies really fast!
--Stupid!
**[05:16] ---**
He looks like he'd talk like a rich snob!
**[05:18] ---**
He's been stopped by grade schoolers!
**[05:20] ---**
--Sand...
--And he's dead!
**[05:22] ---**
And he's just ignoring it!
What? Does this just happen a lot?
**[05:26] ---**
Th-There's a limit to how much
someone can pretend to be weak.
**[05:30] ---**
Why did he die, anyway?
**[05:32] ---**
It's not like he'd die because he
was hurt by the kids' insults...
**[05:36] ---**
Don't tell me--!
**[05:38] ---**
Did he die to keep the children
from getting hurt by his great power?
**[05:43] ---**
No way...
**[05:44] ---**
Even that cold-blooded, inhuman vampire
has a warm heart he can't abandon.
**[05:49] ---**
In other words,
is there love in his heart?!
**[05:51] ---**
--Wait, Mister--!
**[05:53] ---**
--I cannot kill a child.
--Wait, Mister--!
**[05:55] ---**
Damn it, I can't read him!
**[05:58] ---**
But at this rate, I don't think
I'll be able to see his true--
**[06:03] ---**
That's...
**[06:04] ---**
"Inferior Vampire - Big Mosquito"
**[06:05] ---**
"Inferior Vampire - Big Mosquito"
...a Big Mosquito?
**[06:07] ---**
I'll hunt--
**[06:09] ---**
No, it's a good chance to see his power!
Now what will you do, Vampire Draluc?!
**[06:16] ---**
Hm? A mosquito?!
**[06:20] ---**
Draluc Do-or-Die Punch!
**[06:22] ---**
Sand!
**[06:23] ---**
Draluc Mach-Speed Dash!
**[06:26] ---**
Don't come here!
**[06:30] ---**
Sand...!
**[06:34] ---**
Mosquito...!
**[06:35] ---**
John Guard!
**[06:44] ---**
Oh, Ronaldo, good j-- Sand!
**[06:46] ---**
Idiot! I can't believe
you used John as a shield!
**[06:49] ---**
W-Wait! For John, that level of attack
**[06:52] ---**
is like sticking a toothpick
into orichalcum--
**[06:54] ---**
How can you blindly believe
in John's hardness?!
**[06:57] ---**
Oh, it's Ronaldo!
**[06:58] ---**
--You're red!
--Let's kick him! Kick!
**[07:00] ---**
Hey, grade schoolers! Scram!
**[07:02] ---**
Go home! It's nighttime!
You're so loud! Go home!
**[07:06] ---**
Go home to your mommies!
**[07:12] ---**
I was the fool...!
**[07:18] ---**
Oh, you're back, Hinaichi!
**[07:21] ---**
Rejoice. Your request was granted.
**[07:25] ---**
I talked to the chief after that,
**[07:27] ---**
and he said that if you thought
this vampire was so important,
**[07:29] ---**
then we couldn't leave it alone.
**[07:32] ---**
So your mission is to monitor and
investigate the vampire, Draluc.
**[07:37] ---**
We'll keep counting on you.
**[07:41] ---**
Now, to get down to business, can you give
me a report of today's investigation?
**[07:47] ---**
Yes.
**[07:51] ---**
"Ridiculous Hunter Guild"
**[07:54] ---**
"The War Chronicles of Ronaldo"
"Ridiculous Hunter Guild"
**[07:56] ---**
Oh, the second volume of
*The Ronaldo Chronicles* is out?
**[07:59] ---**
Yeah, somehow.
**[08:01] ---**
I guess it was worth being
thrown in the maiden.
**[08:05] ---**
Don't remind me about that!
**[08:07] ---**
I should stop by the guild
and do some PR for this.
**[08:11] ---**
Guild?
**[08:12] ---**
The Hunters Guild that all the
hunters around here belong to.
**[08:16] ---**
It's like a gathering place for hunters.
**[08:18] ---**
You can get jobs there
and trade information.
**[08:21] ---**
Oh? Have a good time.
**[08:23] ---**
Idiot! I'm introducing you to everyone!
**[08:25] ---**
*Me*, at a gathering of hunters?!
**[08:28] ---**
Wait, I haven't thought of an autograph
yet... This is kind of sudden...
**[08:31] ---**
It's not a welcome party or anything!
**[08:34] ---**
Why should the hunters
welcome you, anyway?!
**[08:36] ---**
You have flowers growing between
those ears or something?
**[08:38] ---**
Does my hair look okay?
**[08:39] ---**
You've always looked like
Sally the Witch's dad, moron!
**[08:45] ---**
Oh, so this is the hunters' lair, huh?
**[08:47] ---**
Don't make it sound so sketchy!
**[08:49] ---**
"Shin-Yokohama Highball"?
**[08:51] ---**
It's the guild master's side job.
**[08:53] ---**
Hey, I'm coming in.
**[08:59] ---**
Hello, welcome.
**[09:01] ---**
"Guild Master - Gosetsu"
It's been a while, Ronaldo.
**[09:03] ---**
"Guild Master - Gosetsu"
Long time no see, Master.
**[09:05] ---**
"The War Chronicles of Ronaldo"
Long time no see, Master.
**[09:05] ---**
"The War Chronicles of Ronaldo"
Here's volume 2 of *The Ronaldo Chronicles*.
**[09:07] ---**
Thanks for your consideration.
I'll display it here again.
**[09:11] ---**
Is that man the vampire in question?
**[09:14] ---**
The damn weak one that's
always messing around.
**[09:16] ---**
Why, hello! I'm the vampire, Draluc.
**[09:19] ---**
This place feels like the dressing
room of unpopular comedians.
**[09:22] ---**
You idiot!
**[09:23] ---**
Shut up! Don't say that we're unpopular!
**[09:25] ---**
In a profession like this, it all depends
on how much we stand out.
**[09:27] ---**
Our costume fees also add up, damn it!
**[09:29] ---**
Yeah, they add up.
**[09:31] ---**
There are a bunch of people
just like Ronaldo.
**[09:33] ---**
Tape that mouth shut, you octopus!
**[09:35] ---**
That's a weird vampire, though,
to be teaming up with you.
**[09:39] ---**
It's like fratricide, isn't it?
**[09:41] ---**
Fratricide? How rude.
**[09:44] ---**
The only ones we consider brethren
are those who are of the same blood.
**[09:48] ---**
And those of my blood believe
**[09:50] ---**
the human society convenient and
useful to us should be preserved.
**[09:54] ---**
So it is our desire for
the inferior vampires
**[09:56] ---**
and foolish compatriots who harm
that society to be driven away!
**[10:00] ---**
Well, in other words,
it seems fun, so we'll help.
**[10:04] ---**
You should be very grateful.
**[10:07] ---**
It's kind of refreshing
that he's so shameless.
**[10:10] ---**
Until I finish my business,
don't move or talk. Just die.
**[10:14] ---**
Okay, okay, I get it.
You're so high-strung.
**[10:16] ---**
--Listen, while I'm talking to Master--
**[10:18] ---**
--Good evening.
--Listen, while I'm talking to Master--
**[10:19] ---**
Why are you wearing a baseball uniform?
**[10:22] ---**
Is that what you like?
**[10:23] ---**
Hey! I told you to die!
Don't stick your nose in his business!
**[10:26] ---**
But I was curious. It's you hunters' fault for
being such a funny band of merrymakers.
**[10:30] ---**
I'll kill you!
**[10:31] ---**
Nice to meet you! I'm Homerun Batter.
I'm a hunter who fights with a bat and ball!
**[10:32] ---**
"Home Run King of the Hunter World"
"Homerun Batter"
Nice to meet you! I'm Homerun Batter.
I'm a hunter who fights with a bat and ball!
**[10:36] ---**
"Home Run King of the Hunter World"
"Homerun Batter"
The bat's fine, but fighting
with a ball is really hard!
**[10:39] ---**
You don't have to be nice to him, Batter!
**[10:41] ---**
Oh, what was your name again? The arm guy.
**[10:44] ---**
Oh, um, I'm Satet--
**[10:46] ---**
Stop wandering around!
**[10:47] ---**
What's that you're wearing?
How about taking it off?
**[10:47] ---**
"Vampire Hunter"
" Vamone"
What's that you're wearing?
How about taking it off?
**[10:50] ---**
"Vampire Hunter"
" Vamone"
Stop playing around!
**[10:52] ---**
Don't be rude, idiot! Vamone is
a really strong and popular hunter!
**[10:58] ---**
Oh, my, Ronaldo. It's been a while!
**[11:01] ---**
Oh, is this another hunter?
**[11:03] ---**
Who's this? He's so cute!
**[11:08] ---**
This is that vampire, right?
Oh, dear, he's so sweet! What a coup!
**[11:09] ---**
"Vampire Trainer"
"Senya Siriski"
This is that vampire, right?
Oh, dear, he's so sweet! What a coup!
**[11:12] ---**
"Vampire Trainer"
"Senya Siriski"
Ronaldo, what's with this scary person?!
**[11:15] ---**
That's the vampire trainer, Senya Siriski.
**[11:19] ---**
This is a hunter who hunts down vampires,
**[11:21] ---**
catches them, and trains them
to match his tastes.
**[11:23] ---**
So scary!
**[11:24] ---**
Your too-pale skin and emaciated body
are also right in my strike zone!
**[11:28] ---**
Even the ashes you turn
into feel high-class!
**[11:29] ---**
No! Please stop! Please stop!
**[11:32] ---**
Ronaldo, give him to me!
**[11:35] ---**
--Sure.
--Ronaldo!
**[11:37] ---**
This isn't funny! You teamed up
with me, didn't you?!
**[11:40] ---**
Shut up! We're disbanding. I was getting
tired of protecting you, anyway!
**[11:44] ---**
You can leave John to me,
and let Senya take good care of you!
**[11:48] ---**
That settles it! Then, hurry up
and change into this!
**[11:50] ---**
No way! Is that a uniform?!
**[11:52] ---**
Senya, you're being too pushy.
You can't just break up a team like that.
**[11:56] ---**
Oh, thanks, person who didn't
really do anything the other day!
**[12:01] ---**
Now, now, Ronaldo, you shouldn't be
so quick to dissolve your team, either.
**[12:07] ---**
What do you think about
leaving this to me...
**[12:10] ---**
...and holding a Senya vs. Ronaldo,
Battle for Draluc Match?
**[12:16] ---**
My fate is being decided by a side show?!
**[12:18] ---**
As for the rules, let's have the first
to win three matches take the prize.
**[12:23] ---**
"Prize"
As for the rules, let's have the first
to win three matches take the prize.
**[12:23] ---**
"Prize"
We'll have the contestants take turns
deciding what to do for each event.
**[12:28] ---**
All right, place your bets here.
No pushing please. It's a one-drink system.
**[12:32] ---**
Master's business spirit is strong!
**[12:34] ---**
Men first! I'll let you
choose the first event.
**[12:37] ---**
Then, arm wrestling.
**[12:39] ---**
You're a man, too, aren't you?
**[12:41] ---**
Contestants, to your places...
**[12:43] ---**
Ready... fight!
**[12:46] ---**
Oh, no, I lost.
**[12:47] ---**
Ronaldo!
**[12:48] ---**
Man, Senya, you sure are
strong. I can't beat you.
**[12:51] ---**
Ronaldo!
**[12:53] ---**
No...!
**[12:55] ---**
Ronaldo, you brute!
**[12:57] ---**
Making it Senya's fault is a good excuse.
**[13:01] ---**
I can have some peace and quiet
at the office now. Later, Lord Dral.
**[13:04] ---**
You're not even trying.
**[13:05] ---**
Put up a fight, idiot!
**[13:06] ---**
Do you have any balls?!
**[13:08] ---**
Hey, bystanders should be quiet!
**[13:09] ---**
That bastard's definitely just looking
for a reason to be rid of me.
**[13:14] ---**
Th-This is bad. I need to do something!
**[13:16] ---**
"Senya vs. Ronaldo"
"Battle for Vampire Match!!"
**[13:17] ---**
"Senya vs. Ronaldo"
"Battle for Vampire Match!!"
Circle.
**[13:18] ---**
Now, what should we do
for the second match?
**[13:21] ---**
Let's see, how about poker?
**[13:23] ---**
Then, I will be the dealer.
**[13:25] ---**
Poker...
**[13:30] ---**
It's your turn, Ronaldo.
**[13:32] ---**
All right, I can lose with this hand.
**[13:37] ---**
Will you draw?
**[13:38] ---**
No, I'll keep my hand.
**[13:40] ---**
Whoops! My foot slipped!
**[13:45] ---**
Don't get in the way!
Stay back, you idiot!
**[13:47] ---**
I'll open your cards, then.
**[13:49] ---**
Oh, a full house. That was a good hand.
**[13:51] ---**
What?!
**[13:52] ---**
Yes! Nice, John.
**[13:56] ---**
But I have four of a kind!
**[13:59] ---**
That was just a really good hand!
**[14:04] ---**
That bastard. Did he do something?
**[14:07] ---**
Heh. Well, he messed up.
**[14:09] ---**
Even if you regret cocky actions,
it's too late now, Lord Dr--
**[14:16] ---**
"Mr. Fukuma"
**[14:19] ---**
Yes, thank you for waiting!
This is Ronaldo!
**[14:22] ---**
Hello, Ronaldo.
**[14:24] ---**
I have some good news regarding
*The Ronaldo Chronicles* volume 2.
**[14:27] ---**
Good news?
**[14:28] ---**
Yes.
**[14:30] ---**
Your teamwork with that
vampire was well-received.
**[14:33] ---**
The editor-in-chief wants you
to write more along those lines.
**[14:36] ---**
--So let's make your team
hunting with Draluc
**[14:39] ---**
--Let's go, Dral.
--So let's make your team
hunting with Draluc
**[14:40] ---**
--Let's go, Dral.
--a focal point for *The Ronaldo
Chronicles* from now on.
**[14:41] ---**
--Okay, Ron.
--a focal point for *The Ronaldo
Chronicles* from now on.
**[14:43] ---**
I'm looking forward to it, too.
We're counting on you.
**[14:47] ---**
Goodbye.
**[14:52] ---**
Who was that from that you'd
run out all of a sudden?
**[14:55] ---**
What do you want to do for the next game?
**[14:58] ---**
Ronaldo. Please, at least
try to put up a fight.
**[15:01] ---**
You don't have to tell me that.
**[15:03] ---**
I'll put my life on the line to beat you
if I have to, damn bastard!
**[15:12] ---**
"More Ridiculous Hunter Guild"
Oh my, you're suddenly fired up, huh?
**[15:15] ---**
"More Ridiculous Hunter Guild"
Something's come up, and I can't lose now.
**[15:17] ---**
Did you finally realize my importance?
Your brain's a little slow, Ronaldo.
**[15:22] ---**
Sand! Don't just hit me
without saying anything!
**[15:25] ---**
I don't care about appearances anymore!
**[15:28] ---**
So what do you want to do
for the next event?
**[15:30] ---**
Marksmanship.
**[15:31] ---**
Oh, is he choosing what he's good at now?
**[15:33] ---**
He doesn't care about appearances,
but he's still following the rules, huh?
**[15:38] ---**
I'm a hunter, too, you know.
I know how to use a gun.
**[15:42] ---**
I have prepared targets and
a gun that can be used indoors.
**[15:45] ---**
Why do you have all that?
**[15:48] ---**
Now, start!
**[15:51] ---**
H-He fired in no time and got
the bullseye for all of them!
**[15:54] ---**
He's finally getting serious!
**[15:55] ---**
He isn't called "Ronaldo
the Peerless" for nothing!
**[15:59] ---**
Oh, he's a little embarrassed.
**[16:00] ---**
He is!
**[16:01] ---**
He's not used to being praised, as usual.
**[16:03] ---**
Shut up, bystanders!
**[16:04] ---**
What was that earlier, anyway?
You weren't trying to win!
**[16:07] ---**
We're betting here! Put up a fight!
**[16:09] ---**
By the way, I bought *The Ronaldo
Chronicles* volume 2.
**[16:11] ---**
Oh, me, too.
**[16:12] ---**
Be quiet, idiots! But thanks
for your patronage!
**[16:15] ---**
Banter with the audience
is also fun during a match.
**[16:17] ---**
It's suddenly gotten more exciting!
**[16:19] ---**
What're you doing, bastard?!
**[16:21] ---**
I don't know what happened,
but I can't win now without a plan.
**[16:26] ---**
It's so I can get Little Draluc.
I'm gonna get serious, too.
**[16:30] ---**
X.
**[16:32] ---**
What will you have for the next match?
**[16:34] ---**
Let's see... A game I'm good at that
Ronaldo seems like he'd be bad at...
**[16:40] ---**
Twister!
**[16:41] ---**
You idiot!
**[16:42] ---**
Here's a jumbo Twister mat for adults.
**[16:45] ---**
Why do you have something
like that lying around?!
**[16:47] ---**
--This Twister mat is an item my wife and I
made many dazzling memories on...
**[16:48] ---**
--Oh, my. I'm going to lose.
--This Twister mat is an item my wife and I
made many dazzling memories on...
**[16:50] ---**
--Right?
--This Twister mat is an item my wife and I
made many dazzling memories on...
**[16:53] ---**
Oh, the memories are making me excited.
**[16:55] ---**
Master, calm down!
**[16:57] ---**
Now, rings of four colors have appeared.
**[16:59] ---**
What kinds of movements
will Ronaldo show us?
**[17:02] ---**
You should just stay dead, moron!
**[17:05] ---**
Sand!
**[17:07] ---**
Come, shall we fight, Ronaldo?
**[17:09] ---**
I'll show you, idiot!
**[17:12] ---**
Oh, my, his eyes are serious.
**[17:16] ---**
A man has fights that he can't lose!
**[17:21] ---**
I don't want to go back inside the maiden!
**[17:23] ---**
The may-what?
**[17:25] ---**
Now, let us begin.
I will read out the colors.
**[17:30] ---**
Senya, right foot, green!
**[17:34] ---**
Ronaldo, right foot, blue!
**[17:38] ---**
Senya, right hand, yellow!
**[17:40] ---**
Right!
**[17:41] ---**
Ronaldo, left foot, yellow!
**[17:44] ---**
Senya, left foot, blue!
**[17:46] ---**
Ronaldo, right hand, blue!
Senya, left hand, blue!
**[17:49] ---**
Ronaldo, left hand, green!
**[17:52] ---**
It already looks like hell over there.
**[17:54] ---**
Senya, left foot, green!
Ronaldo, left hand, green!
**[17:58] ---**
Senya, right foot, blue!
Ronaldo, right foot, blue!
**[18:02] ---**
Senya, left hand, green!
Ronaldo, right hand, blue!
**[18:05] ---**
Senya, right hand, red!
Ronaldo, left foot, yellow!
**[18:09] ---**
Both players are holding out
longer than expected.
**[18:11] ---**
And so, hell is also getting dragged out!
**[18:14] ---**
How much longer do we have to watch
this game of Twister between two men?
**[18:19] ---**
Both players, right hand, green!
**[18:22] ---**
Oh, dear, are they both in trouble?
**[18:25] ---**
Not bad. Is it a draw?
**[18:28] ---**
Huh? You've gotta be kidding me.
**[18:30] ---**
The half-hearted word "draw"
**[18:32] ---**
isn't in the dictionary
of Ronaldo the Great!
**[18:35] ---**
Ronaldo does it!
**[18:38] ---**
I'm more flexible than I thought!
**[18:40] ---**
His catchphrase is lame, though!
**[18:42] ---**
A stunning upset!
**[18:45] ---**
Ronaldo wins the Twister
game, too! All right!
**[18:49] ---**
This is what you get when you
go up against Ronaldo the Great!
**[18:51] ---**
I'm glad I didn't strain my back!
**[18:54] ---**
Ronaldo, you switched what you should
say out loud and in your head again.
**[18:57] ---**
--Congratulations! Please do your best
in the last match, too, for my sa--
**[19:00] ---**
--Thanks, man!
--Congratulations! Please do your best
in the last match, too, for my sa--
**[19:03] ---**
Now, it's the last match, right?
**[19:05] ---**
I'd like it to be an event
that's fair for both of us.
**[19:07] ---**
Ronaldo, please make it
a match you can win.
**[19:11] ---**
All right. How about Knock Down the Pole?
**[19:15] ---**
Wait, can't Little Draluc cheat like that?
**[19:19] ---**
Yeah, that's true.
**[19:28] ---**
The commentary will now be
done by me, the guild master.
**[19:31] ---**
Now, the final match in
the Battle for Draluc!
**[19:33] ---**
Senya vs. Ronaldo!
**[19:35] ---**
Vampire Knock Down the Pole
Without Honor or Humanity!
**[19:38] ---**
Fight!
**[19:39] ---**
I won't lose, Ronaldo.
**[19:43] ---**
Going first is Senya. With a quick attack,
he takes a large pile of ashes.
**[19:47] ---**
It's like he's tearing down a grave.
**[19:50] ---**
Sorry, but I'm not going to
let you have this, Senya.
**[19:56] ---**
Against that, Ronaldo stretches out his
arms to take ashes from the other side.
**[20:01] ---**
It's not only a cheap shot,
it's also boring!
**[20:04] ---**
I feel bad you had to resort to
a cheap trick, but it's no use.
**[20:07] ---**
I'll show you... the difference
in our strength!
**[20:11] ---**
Oh, my, Senya's attacked!
**[20:13] ---**
Well? You can surrender if you want.
**[20:16] ---**
*I'll* be the one to show *you*...
**[20:24] ---**
...Ronaldo the Great's true power!
**[20:27] ---**
Wh-What?! Ronaldo returned the favor!
**[20:31] ---**
This idiot and I are a team!
**[20:34] ---**
I know just how much of
him can be taken away!
**[20:37] ---**
Now, let's see you try
and take more--if you can!
**[20:48] ---**
I... have lost!
**[20:51] ---**
Winner... Ronaldo!
**[20:56] ---**
Justice wins in the end.
**[20:59] ---**
Huh?
**[21:01] ---**
The cross is stuck to the table, though...
**[21:03] ---**
Hey, when you were thumping
that around earlier...
**[21:06] ---**
Gulp!
**[21:07] ---**
You cheater!
**[21:09] ---**
Idiot!
**[21:09] ---**
Sh-Shut up! I'm done with this charade!
**[21:12] ---**
So that's how it was, Ronaldo.
**[21:14] ---**
Huh? No, that's...
**[21:17] ---**
Put another way,
it was a surprise victory!
**[21:19] ---**
"Put another way"?
**[21:21] ---**
You cared so much about Little Draluc that
you would go through that much trouble!
**[21:24] ---**
N-N-No, that's not it!
**[21:25] ---**
I didn't know you were so passionate!
**[21:28] ---**
It's been a long time since my heart
fluttered for anyone other than a vampire!
**[21:34] ---**
W-W-Wait... Senya...
**[21:38] ---**
Now... put these clothes on!
**[21:43] ---**
This must be where I say
"serves you right."
**[21:45] ---**
Would you like something to drink?
**[21:47] ---**
One glass of hot milk.
Put it on Ronaldo's tab.
**[21:55] ---**
"Born during the time
between day and night"
You, who are descended
from my compatriot...
**[21:58] ---**
I will give you what you desire.
**[22:01] ---**
This guy's... a dhampir, right?
**[22:06] ---**
The vampire dies in no time.
# E4 - The Man’s Name Is Handa
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GQJUG12GG/the-mans-name-is-handa)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:04] ---**
Thanks, John.
**[00:07] ---**
Um, I'm here for a consultation...
**[00:11] ---**
All right, please come in.
**[00:13] ---**
Excuse me...
**[00:18] ---**
What?! What are you?!
What kind of organism are you?!
**[00:20] ---**
Are you a new kind of bioterrorism?!
**[00:23] ---**
What's the matter, Ronaldo...?
It's so loud...
**[00:28] ---**
I understand why seeing
that would make you die.
**[00:30] ---**
Oh, a compatriot! The rumors
were true, after all!
**[00:35] ---**
"Compatriot"?! Does that
mean that you're a...?
**[00:37] ---**
Yes. As you can see, I'm a vampire.
**[00:40] ---**
It's *not* what *I* see, though!
**[02:14] ---**
"I Have Desire,
Therefore I Metamorphose"
**[02:20] ---**
Apologies for the late introduction.
I am the vampire Aud von Kreatur.
**[02:26] ---**
lt's quite long, so feel free
to call me "Odd Creature."
**[02:27] ---**
"Vampire - Odd Creature"
It's quite long, so feel free
to call me "Odd Creature."
**[02:29] ---**
"Vampire - Odd Creature"
You're okay with that?!
**[02:32] ---**
Well? Why is a vampire here?
**[02:35] ---**
I thought a hunter familiar with vampires
could help me with my problem...
**[02:42] ---**
On top of that, you're an understanding
hunter who's teamed up with a vampire.
**[02:47] ---**
I had no choice but to take advantage
of such a strange idiot!
**[02:50] ---**
Can I punch him?
**[02:52] ---**
A-Anyway, what did you need?
**[02:55] ---**
Oh, dear. Do you think there's
anything other than how I look?
**[03:00] ---**
Hey, can I punch him?!
**[03:03] ---**
Actually, I'm a vampire who can
turn into anything I want.
**[03:09] ---**
The only trouble is that I'm
not good at controlling it.
**[03:14] ---**
I don't expect much from you, but if you
could just improve on this a little...
**[03:19] ---**
Even his explanation annoys me
to the bottom of my heart.
**[03:23] ---**
Is it really possible to have so little
control over your own power?
**[03:26] ---**
It's not that unusual.
**[03:29] ---**
Transformation is one of the most complex
of a vampire's supernatural powers.
**[03:35] ---**
It's possible to make a mistake
and turn into something strange,
**[03:37] ---**
or be unable to change back.
**[03:39] ---**
Now, kill me.
**[03:40] ---**
Then don't do it, idiot!
**[03:42] ---**
I understand the situation now,
**[03:44] ---**
but whether I'll help or not
is a different matter.
**[03:46] ---**
If there's a possibility that you'll use
that power for evil, then I'll hunt you--
**[03:51] ---**
Huh?!
**[03:53] ---**
Pants me?! Is that something girls do?
**[03:57] ---**
What?! Why did you suddenly
transform into something gross?!
**[04:00] ---**
Excuse me, my power
is going out of control...
**[04:02] ---**
What do you mean, out of control?!
You suddenly got grotesque and big!
**[04:05] ---**
What? Did you say my size is amazing?
**[04:08] ---**
What the hell are you talking about?!
**[04:12] ---**
Please excuse me.
**[04:14] ---**
When my power goes out of control,
I transform into something crazy-looking.
**[04:18] ---**
But in spite of myself,
**[04:20] ---**
when I think of something perverted,
my power goes out of control.
**[04:23] ---**
Are you an idiot?
**[04:24] ---**
On my way here today, I saw the Kanagawa
Prefecture logo and turned into this.
**[04:29] ---**
Are you a teenage boy?!
**[04:31] ---**
You piss me off, but it could be dangerous
if we don't get your powers under control.
**[04:34] ---**
I need to make my perverted
thoughts go limp, huh?
**[04:37] ---**
Don't say it like that!
But what could do the trick?
**[04:41] ---**
A naked pic of Lord Dral or something?
**[04:43] ---**
How rude!
**[04:44] ---**
Oh, it makes me limp
just thinking about it. Please!
**[04:48] ---**
Ugh, I don't wanna see it!
**[04:50] ---**
Th-That makes me angry!
**[04:52] ---**
Look, I've taken off my shirt for you!
Are you satisfied, disgusting being?
**[04:56] ---**
You didn't really change much!
**[04:58] ---**
Well, it does make me limp,
**[05:01] ---**
but when you hit me over the head with it
like that, it's not surprising enough...
**[05:04] ---**
Like, you're as scrawny as expected...
**[05:07] ---**
Let go of me, Ronaldo.
I'm going to slap him.
**[05:10] ---**
It's not worth it.
The reaction will just kill you.
**[05:15] ---**
Instead of making you limp,
what if we distract you instead?
**[05:20] ---**
Like if we calm you down
with a cute animal.
**[05:22] ---**
Look, it's the armadillo
house spirit, John!
**[05:25] ---**
Oh, that *is* cute.
**[05:28] ---**
I do feel like my spirit
is being cleansed...
**[05:32] ---**
Why do you have John's head?!
**[05:34] ---**
When I thought about how the roundness
reminded me of boobs, it just happened...
**[05:38] ---**
Your spirit's super dirty!
**[05:42] ---**
Oh, no, John's really shocked!
**[05:44] ---**
Can you blame him? He was told
by his own face that he's like boobs.
**[05:48] ---**
Boobs by your own face?
What kind of "play" is that?!
**[05:53] ---**
Shut up!
**[05:54] ---**
Stop messing around!
Do you even *want* to control this?!
**[05:56] ---**
If you stay like that, it won't be long
before either we hunt you down
**[05:59] ---**
or Vamp Control ties you up and kills you!
**[06:01] ---**
The women's uniform for the Vampire
Control Division is sexy, isn't it?
**[06:06] ---**
Just go and get caught, idiot!
**[06:07] ---**
Wait, Ronaldo. I've got it.
**[06:10] ---**
It looks like anything trivial
will cause you to go crazy.
**[06:15] ---**
Even though you're a pervert, there's no
concrete evidence of personal experience!
**[06:18] ---**
In other words, you're...
**[06:20] ---**
...a late bloomer with zero experience
who's living in his delusions!
**[06:25] ---**
To make a guy like that go limp
and get back in control of himself
**[06:28] ---**
is like trying to get a middle
school boy to achieve nirvana.
**[06:31] ---**
It's impossible!
**[06:32] ---**
Instead, you should be building up
experience and tolerance
**[06:35] ---**
to sexual things, fool!
**[06:37] ---**
Instead of making him abstain, get
him used to it. A reversal in thinking!
**[06:42] ---**
Hey, take this! Shock therapy!
**[06:46] ---**
So this is your collection, Ronaldo?
**[06:48] ---**
Shut up!
**[06:50] ---**
Take this, too!
**[06:56] ---**
Throwing it all at him suddenly
isn't building tolerance,
**[06:58] ---**
it's having the opposite effect?!
**[06:59] ---**
No, look! He's taking in information
at an amazing speed!
**[07:03] ---**
He's getting used to the stimulus
**[07:05] ---**
and trying to control his lust--
and his transformation!
**[07:14] ---**
Oh, what is this feeling?
**[07:18] ---**
This peaceful feeling of satisfaction...
**[07:28] ---**
Is this his true form?
**[07:31] ---**
Hunter Ronaldo! There was a report that
a gross creature invaded your office!
**[07:39] ---**
And here's the cliché-- Sand!
**[07:42] ---**
In other words, you guys are... s-s-s...
**[07:47] ---**
Squid?
**[07:48] ---**
Salacious!
**[07:54] ---**
"Kitchen Liberal Force"
**[08:02] ---**
Hmm, was there not enough?
Shall I make another dish?
**[08:06] ---**
It pisses me off that
you're good at cooking.
**[08:09] ---**
In order to drink the blood
of a living human,
**[08:12] ---**
it was best for vampires to
invite them to their castles.
**[08:15] ---**
The most important thing when
welcoming a guest is delicious food!
**[08:20] ---**
That's why vampires have always
been really good at cooking.
**[08:29] ---**
"Kaso Organic Farm"
**[08:31] ---**
What is it?
**[08:32] ---**
It was sent through refrigerated
shipping... From Autumn Books.
**[08:34] ---**
They're sharing some
vegetables they got with us.
**[08:36] ---**
Oh, that's nice.
**[08:38] ---**
Then, I'll use them right away.
**[08:43] ---**
Sand...
**[08:45] ---**
"[Vampiric Vegetables]"
"Old vegetables sometimes turn
into vampires. These vegetables
can infect other vegetables. "
**[08:50] ---**
They've *all* turned into vampires!
What the hell?
**[08:53] ---**
Unfortunately, they should
all be thrown away.
**[08:55] ---**
Idiot! Once they've turned into vampires,
you can't throw them away in the trash!
**[08:58] ---**
We have to get the VRC to take them.
**[09:01] ---**
Then hurry up and call them.
**[09:04] ---**
Well, but if I do that...
**[09:07] ---**
I can't believe you let them turn into
vampires even though you're a hunter.
**[09:10] ---**
Fool.
**[09:12] ---**
That's what'll happen!
**[09:13] ---**
You're really cowardly
about stuff like that, huh?
**[09:17] ---**
What should I do...?
**[09:18] ---**
All right, why don't we try
eating them, Ronaldo?
**[09:20] ---**
We're not eating them!
**[09:22] ---**
Why not? If you digest them,
then the hunt is over, right?
**[09:26] ---**
Won't you be sorry if you waste the food
Autumn Books is sharing with us?
**[09:30] ---**
Don't sound like you're having so much
fun when you say that, damn bastard!
**[09:36] ---**
Let's see. Cut the burdock root
into long, thin slivers...
**[09:38] ---**
It's grotesque how you're preparing that!
**[09:46] ---**
Blanch the mustard spinach,
and then use that water to boil the udon.
**[09:51] ---**
Draluc's quick dish, Udon with
Lots of Veggies, is done!
**[09:56] ---**
Man, this looks more like
real food than I expected.
**[10:00] ---**
Now, it's tasting time!
**[10:02] ---**
If this tastes bad, I'm gonna kill you.
**[10:07] ---**
--You're dead meat.
**[10:07] ---**
--Ronaldo!
--You're dead meat.
**[10:09] ---**
The seasoning should have been fine...
**[10:14] ---**
John!
**[10:16] ---**
It doesn't matter what seasonings you use
**[10:18] ---**
if the vegetables themselves are
bitter, sour, stinky, and gross!
**[10:20] ---**
Were they that bad...?
**[10:22] ---**
All right, next I'll neutralize the smell
and try something with stronger flavors!
**[10:26] ---**
Don't make anything else!
**[10:31] ---**
Huh?! They're multiplying!
**[10:33] ---**
It looks like when I opened the fridge,
they infected the other vegetables.
**[10:37] ---**
You idiot!
**[10:39] ---**
Oh, no! The kitchen's been taken over!
**[10:42] ---**
Damn it! Retreat for now! Retreat!
**[10:46] ---**
You're a hunter, aren't you?
Shoot them with your gun!
**[10:49] ---**
Are you stupid?
That'll mess up the floor and stuff!
**[10:52] ---**
I have some vampiricide for inferior
vampires in the back closet,
**[10:56] ---**
"Vampiricide Diefast"
so I'll weaken them with
that before I hunt them.
**[10:58] ---**
Huh? Won't that work on me, too?
**[11:01] ---**
All right, we're rushing in!
**[11:05] ---**
Damn it! If I knew it'd turn out like
this, I would've just called VRC...
**[11:09] ---**
No...! The tomato's laying
eggs in my coffin!
**[11:12] ---**
Sand!
**[11:14] ---**
Ronaldo, exterminate it for me!
**[11:15] ---**
Shut up! If you're a vampire,
you should like tomatoes! Just eat them!
**[11:18] ---**
I'd just be a psycho if I ate that!
**[11:21] ---**
Don't lose to some vegetables!
You said you were a superior vampire!
**[11:25] ---**
Hurry up and get to the closet--
**[11:29] ---**
Huh? That's just some celery.
**[11:31] ---**
Shut up!
**[11:32] ---**
That's strong poison! Industrial waste!
Just the smell makes me feel nauseated!
**[11:34] ---**
I don't even want to look at it!
I'll die if it comes near me!
**[11:37] ---**
Celery, go home! Go to hell!
**[11:40] ---**
Hm? Calm down.
**[11:42] ---**
Oh, it's the celery's show of force.
**[11:45] ---**
I-I-I can't get to the closet!
It's been blocked!
**[11:48] ---**
We need to think of another way!
**[11:50] ---**
Hey, are you even dumber
than I thought you were?
**[11:54] ---**
Just retreat! We'll rework the plan.
**[11:57] ---**
If the enemy is celery, then we might
need to consider a nuclear missile!
**[12:00] ---**
He said we're retreating. Come on, John.
**[12:03] ---**
John!
**[12:05] ---**
Crap! Get it off!
He's being turned into a vampire!
**[12:07] ---**
John, are you all right?!
Hang in there!
**[12:12] ---**
John...
**[12:13] ---**
What's with these roots?
**[12:16] ---**
It's connected to the
other vegetables, too.
**[12:19] ---**
Whoa! John's blood gave the
vegetables a boost! This is bad.
**[12:24] ---**
Damn it, if it's come to this,
then it's all or nothing!
**[12:29] ---**
"Soy Sauce" "Canola Oil"
**[12:31] ---**
Come on! Take that, veggie bastards!
**[12:34] ---**
What did you throw?
**[12:35] ---**
Vegetables I'd stocked up on.
**[12:36] ---**
What?! If you add more vegetables to this,
**[12:39] ---**
then they'll just all turn
into vampires, right?
**[12:44] ---**
Yeah. These'll turn into vampires fast.
**[12:49] ---**
No matter what kind of
vegetables they are!
**[12:53] ---**
Just as I thought! The vampiric garlic is
a natural enemy of the other vegetables!
**[12:58] ---**
They're destroying the others
in front of our eyes!
**[13:00] ---**
That's what you get!
**[13:02] ---**
A clean sweep of the room!
Good job, vampiric garlic!
**[13:06] ---**
So, what will you do with
that vampiric garlic?
**[13:16] ---**
It's astonishing that a hunter could
turn even garlic into vampires.
**[13:20] ---**
You great big giant fool.
**[13:29] ---**
"The Man's Name Is Handa"
**[13:33] ---**
"Vampire Control Division"
**[13:35] ---**
The girl from Vamp Control is
coming to see you again today.
**[13:38] ---**
What? That Hinaichi?
**[13:41] ---**
Sorry, Ronaldo. I may need
you to leave us alone.
**[13:45] ---**
She's coming to observe you, idiot.
**[13:47] ---**
You're so slow.
That's just the official reason.
**[13:54] ---**
That was fast.
**[13:55] ---**
Listen! If you do anything
weird this time, I'll kill you.
**[13:58] ---**
No... you're the one
who will die... Ronaldo.
**[14:05] ---**
You've got a dumb look on
your face as usual, Ronaldo.
**[14:08] ---**
Now that I'm here,
**[14:09] ---**
"Kanagawa Prefectural Police
Vampire Control Division"
"Tou Handa"
you won't be able to be so carefree anymore.
**[14:13] ---**
Handa?! What're you doing here?
**[14:15] ---**
Ronaldo, who is this man?
**[14:17] ---**
Oh, he's an old acquaintance.
He's a dhampir.
**[14:21] ---**
"[Dhampirs]" "Half vampire,
half human. They can detect vampires."
He uses his ability as a
member of Vamp Control.
**[14:24] ---**
He's an annoying guy who likes
to rush at me at the drop of a hat.
**[14:28] ---**
I thought Hinaichi was supposed to com--
**[14:30] ---**
Vice-Captain Hinaichi is busy.
I'm here in her place.
**[14:33] ---**
What, are you disappointed
that I'm not a cute girl?!
**[14:37] ---**
You sleazebag controlled by
the lower half of your body!
**[14:39] ---**
If the law allowed me to, I'd chop it off!
**[14:41] ---**
You're too close! I didn't say anything!
**[14:45] ---**
Anyway, you get a narrow escape.
Today, I'm here to see that vampire.
**[14:51] ---**
I'll interrogate you carefully to make
sure you aren't dangerous.
**[14:54] ---**
Prepare yourself!
**[14:55] ---**
Hey, save me, Ronaldo!
**[14:58] ---**
Stop, Handa!
**[14:59] ---**
I haven't cleaned over there yet.
Give me a minute!
**[15:02] ---**
Worry about *me*!
**[15:07] ---**
All right, time for the interrogation.
Out of my way, Ronaldo. Get out of here.
**[15:12] ---**
You might put ideas in his head.
**[15:14] ---**
Listen up, vampire.
Just you try lying or keeping secrets!
**[15:18] ---**
I'll kill you! Got it?
**[15:20] ---**
This is oppression by
a government authority!
**[15:22] ---**
Listen, damn idiot.
**[15:24] ---**
If you say anything that'll make trouble
for me, I'll kill you! Remember that!
**[15:28] ---**
I'll die no matter what I do!
**[15:34] ---**
Well? What do you want me to
talk about? Just so you know--
**[15:38] ---**
What are you doing?
**[15:41] ---**
Idiot! Does this look like anything other
than searching the house to you?
**[15:44] ---**
I meant, why are you doing that?
I thought you wanted to ask me questions.
**[15:48] ---**
I don't care about *you*!
**[15:50] ---**
Then what did you come here for?!
**[15:52] ---**
I came under the pretense of observing
you to find Ronaldo's weakness!
**[15:56] ---**
Being honest *is* a virtue, but...
What has Ronaldo ever done to you?
**[16:01] ---**
There are tons of reasons
why I should kill him.
**[16:05] ---**
But above all, it's to get
revenge for my mother!
**[16:12] ---**
Even though my mother
was a noble vampire...
**[16:18] ---**
...she became completely obsessed
with *The War Chronicles of Ronaldo*
**[16:20] ---**
and is a huge fan of his now!
**[16:21] ---**
Oh, that sucks.
**[16:23] ---**
That guy and I were
classmates in high school!
**[16:26] ---**
Can you imagine?
**[16:28] ---**
Your own mother talking excitedly
about your classmate in a shrill voice?!
**[16:32] ---**
It's only natural that I'd want
to beat him to death!
**[16:35] ---**
Sand...!
**[16:38] ---**
Please stop taking it out on me!
**[16:40] ---**
I'll expose his shame to the world
and erase him from society!
**[16:44] ---**
I'll bring my mom to her senses!
**[16:46] ---**
Too close! Too close!
**[16:48] ---**
If you get it, then tell me everything!
Tell me all the secrets you know!
**[16:53] ---**
You've got to be kidding me.
**[16:54] ---**
If Ronaldo is destroyed,
then I won't have a place to live.
**[16:58] ---**
I have a limited edition of the
new *Age of Vampires* game.
**[17:03] ---**
You who are descended from my compatriot,
I will give you what you desire.
**[17:08] ---**
That guy's weaknesses,
secrets, anything! Tell me!
**[17:12] ---**
Let's see, Ronaldo doesn't like celery.
And he likes big boobs.
**[17:18] ---**
Stop messing around!
That's common sense!
**[17:21] ---**
Common sense?!
**[17:22] ---**
Idiot.
**[17:23] ---**
First, about the celery--
**[17:25] ---**
On pages 152 and 215 of
*The Ronaldo Chronicles* volume 1--
**[17:29] ---**
This guy's gross!
**[17:32] ---**
Anyway, can't you give me an
embarrassing scandal with more impact?
**[17:36] ---**
For example, does he wander around every
night in just a hat, boots, and gloves?
**[17:41] ---**
If he did, I would leave this house.
**[17:44] ---**
Damn it, you're no help.
**[17:46] ---**
I guess I'll have to search
the whole house.
**[17:47] ---**
Stop that. I'm the one
who has to clean that up!
**[17:52] ---**
Hm?
**[17:53] ---**
I haven't cleaned over there yet.
Give me a minute!
**[17:56] ---**
Did you think of something?
**[17:58] ---**
I'm the one who cleans the house.
**[18:02] ---**
So what did Ronaldo have to clean up?
**[18:05] ---**
And he seemed so panicked
when you tried to go in...
**[18:10] ---**
It's not good to keep secrets
from your teammate.
**[18:12] ---**
It might get in the way of our work.
**[18:15] ---**
That hedonism... I take my hat off.
**[18:19] ---**
Something that can be hidden
in that short amount of time...
**[18:22] ---**
Documents that prove he's evading taxes?
**[18:25] ---**
All right! Let's split up and look!
**[18:32] ---**
I feel restless...
**[18:36] ---**
Hey, Lord Dral--
**[18:38] ---**
What are you doing?!
**[18:40] ---**
Idiot! We were just playing
higher-than-you tag!
**[18:42] ---**
In someone else's house?!
**[18:43] ---**
So is John panicking because
he can't climb to high places?!
**[18:46] ---**
Poor John!
**[18:47] ---**
Shut up! It's because
you came in! Get out!
**[18:51] ---**
Yeah! We were having so much
fun before you came in!
**[18:53] ---**
Playing tag?! When did you two
become such good friends?!
**[18:57] ---**
Damn it! What the hell?
**[19:00] ---**
I'm being left out...? Damn it!
**[19:04] ---**
Looks like we dodged a bullet.
**[19:05] ---**
Good thing he's an idiot.
Let's finish this quickly.
**[19:12] ---**
This closet is locked!
**[19:14] ---**
What? Is his secret in here?
**[19:16] ---**
I forgot! Hey, Lord Dral--
**[19:19] ---**
What?!
**[19:20] ---**
Don't you know the cactus?!
**[19:22] ---**
It's one of the most well-known
gymnastics formations!
**[19:25] ---**
I meant, why are you doing it now?!
**[19:27] ---**
Why do you keep coming in?!
Didn't I tell you to stay over there?!
**[19:31] ---**
I got hungry, so I was trying
to get a late-night snack!
**[19:33] ---**
I'll bring you some rice balls!
Now go away!
**[19:36] ---**
Wahh! You bully!
**[19:41] ---**
He's being so troublesome.
**[19:43] ---**
John, please deliver the rice balls,
and then keep Ronaldo over there.
**[19:51] ---**
Ronaldo,
**[19:52] ---**
it's ridiculous that you think you can
stop the Vampire Draluc with a mere lock.
**[19:57] ---**
Will you give me a chop
around here on my neck?
**[19:59] ---**
After I die, slide my ashes
through the gaps in the door.
**[20:02] ---**
That attitude of facing death
head-on! I like you, Draluc!
**[20:07] ---**
Do it.
**[20:14] ---**
John?!
**[20:16] ---**
Thank you! You're the only one on my side!
**[20:21] ---**
You're the only one who won't betray me.
**[20:26] ---**
Oh, no! I can't open
the lock from the inside!
**[20:30] ---**
It's so cramped!
**[20:31] ---**
Idiot! Hit your head on
something in there and die!
**[20:34] ---**
Oh, good idea! Sand!
**[20:36] ---**
What are those guys doing?
**[20:40] ---**
What're you doing out of the blue, John?!
**[20:43] ---**
Oh, are you saying, "Let's play together"?
Trying to cheer me up?
**[20:47] ---**
You really are a good egg, John!
**[20:51] ---**
Wh-What's the matter, John?!
**[20:54] ---**
Hey, damn idiot! Bastard!
What did you do to John--?
**[20:57] ---**
Stop! Don't touch those!
**[21:01] ---**
It's too late! So this is your secret!
**[21:05] ---**
"To my dearest Ronaldo"
"From Akemi Handa"
**[21:12] ---**
Akemi Handa...?
**[21:13] ---**
Uh, well, I thought you'd be shocked
if you saw letters from your mom...
**[21:25] ---**
Remember this, Ronaldo!
**[21:33] ---**
Handa! That idiot went in
my place without asking.
**[21:36] ---**
Vice-Captain Hinaichi!
**[21:39] ---**
You have a call from an outside line.
**[21:42] ---**
Hello? This is Hinaichi.
**[21:44] ---**
It's Ronaldo. Please pay
for the broken window.
**[21:48] ---**
Huh?!
**[21:52] ---**
"A vampire who can control blood"
**[21:53] ---**
"A vampire who can control blood"
Tsujigiri Nagiri has
appeared in this town.
**[21:54] ---**
Tsujigiri Nagiri has
appeared in this town.
**[21:56] ---**
A vampire with a danger
level over Level A.
**[21:59] ---**
He slashes his victims with a blade
formed from his own blood...
**[22:03] ---**
Tsuji--
**[22:06] ---**
The vampire dies in no time.
# E5 - The Longest Day of Tsujigiri Nagiri
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/G50UZ95ZM/the-longest-day-of-tsujigiri-nagiri)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:18] ---**
Tsujigiri Nagiri has appeared
in this town.
**[00:20] ---**
A vampire with a danger
level over Level A,
**[00:22] ---**
"Wanted Vampire"
A vampire with a danger
level over Level A,
**[00:22] ---**
"Wanted Vampire"
whose indiscriminate attacks have
put him on the national wanted list.
**[00:25] ---**
We request the cooperation
of the Hunters Guild.
**[00:28] ---**
However, Tsujigiri is an
extremely dangerous vampire.
**[00:31] ---**
He slashes his victims with a blade
formed from his own blood
**[00:36] ---**
and draws out their blood.
**[00:38] ---**
That ability is something
to be feared, too,
**[00:39] ---**
but what should be feared
most is his immortality.
**[00:42] ---**
Using supernatural means,
**[00:43] ---**
he's separated his soul, if you could call
it that, from his body and hidden it.
**[00:48] ---**
As long as that isn't destroyed,
**[00:50] ---**
Tsujigiri won't budge, even if he's staked
or exposed to sunlight. He's immortal.
**[00:55] ---**
Therefore, the goal is to arrest him
and find and destroy his "soul."
**[01:00] ---**
I'd like you to help me defeat Tsujigiri
and protect this town!
**[02:36] ---**
"The Longest Day of Tsujigiri Nagiri"
**[02:37] ---**
"The Longest Day of Tsujigiri Nagiri"
Jeez, what are Ronaldo and the others
rushing around for this time?
**[02:41] ---**
Jeez, what are Ronaldo and the others
rushing around for this time?
**[02:42] ---**
Anyway, you seem to like
digging holes, huh, John?
**[02:46] ---**
Hm? What's wrong, John?
**[02:50] ---**
What is this?
**[02:55] ---**
A small coffin? Inside is...
**[02:59] ---**
...a doll, huh?
**[03:01] ---**
I feel like I've seen something like
this before... What was it again?
**[03:04] ---**
I think it's something you
aren't supposed to touch...
**[03:08] ---**
But it looks fun,
so I'll take it home with me!
**[03:10] ---**
I'm the type who'll keep pushing
buttons I'm told not to push.
**[03:22] ---**
"Vampire - Tsujigiri Nagiri"
**[03:29] ---**
What?
**[03:30] ---**
I-It's gone!
**[03:31] ---**
My spirit effigy!
**[03:33] ---**
For someone to carry it off
in such a short amount of time...
**[03:36] ---**
Was it a hunter with
investigative abilities?
**[03:39] ---**
Where's the bad vampire?
**[03:41] ---**
We'll get rid of it!
**[03:44] ---**
It's dark and creepy around here.
**[03:47] ---**
Hey, old man! What're you doing?
**[03:49] ---**
There's a vampire alert out
right now, so it's dangerous!
**[03:52] ---**
You little brats-- Ack!
**[03:53] ---**
Old man!
**[03:57] ---**
Oh, no.
**[03:58] ---**
Look at that hand!
This is that dangerous vampire!
**[04:02] ---**
Seriously? Let's be the ones to beat him!
He looks weakened for some reason, too.
**[04:05] ---**
But isn't it dangerous?
**[04:07] ---**
Then, what if we just harass him a little?
**[04:11] ---**
All right, let's cover him
with starch glue!
**[04:15] ---**
Stop it, you brats!
**[04:17] ---**
Bastards, I'll slash you all--
**[04:21] ---**
Th-They're fast...
**[04:23] ---**
M-My spirit effigy is being hurt!
I need to get it back as soon as possible!
**[04:30] ---**
I'm back! Hey, Ronaldo,
I found this weird thin--
**[04:36] ---**
Huh? He's not here...
Did he get a job?
**[04:39] ---**
I guess I'll wait for him, then.
**[04:44] ---**
"Master's Daughter - Koyuki"
Would you like something to drink?
**[04:47] ---**
Hot milk, please. Put it on Ronaldo's tab.
**[04:51] ---**
All right, I can feel my
spirit effigy close by.
**[04:55] ---**
The Vampire Control Division!
**[04:57] ---**
Damn it, she's in the way.
**[04:59] ---**
Should I cut her down to get through?
**[05:05] ---**
Who's there?!
**[05:06] ---**
"Alcohol Wipes"
Did I burn you? I'm sorry.
**[05:09] ---**
"Alcohol Wipes"
No, no, don't worry about it. Wipe, wipe.
**[05:13] ---**
Ow! That stings! M-My eyes! Stop it!
**[05:19] ---**
What's with this drunkard?!
**[05:22] ---**
Wh-Who are you calling drunk?!
**[05:26] ---**
Excuse me. This was in the way.
**[05:28] ---**
Listen, and listen good, lady.
My name is...
**[05:31] ---**
...Tsuji-- Argh!
**[05:34] ---**
Wh-What's the matter, Tsuji-argh?!
Hang in there, Tsuji-argh!
**[05:38] ---**
N-No, that's not it... A-Anyway,
d-don't talk to me right now...
**[05:43] ---**
Are you feeling unwell?
Do you need an ambulance?
**[05:47] ---**
That's... n-not necessary...
b-because right now, you... you're...
**[05:54] ---**
You can tell me after you've
calmed down a bit.
**[05:57] ---**
You don't need to pay for it.
I just found it somewhere.
**[06:00] ---**
But it's wet...
**[06:02] ---**
Right here, right now, you and me--
**[06:05] ---**
We could take off the wet clothes... Oops.
**[06:09] ---**
A-Are you a pervert?!
An elaborate exhibitionist?!
**[06:13] ---**
N-No! I'm really not!
**[06:15] ---**
Oh, Dral, what's that?
**[06:17] ---**
Oh.... um... I found this doll,
but the clothes got dirty.
**[06:22] ---**
Oh, the poor thing!
**[06:24] ---**
You little... Why the clothes?!
I can't move around as I wish like this.
**[06:31] ---**
A-Anyway, I need some kind
of clothes! Clothes... Clothes...!
**[06:40] ---**
You pervert!
**[06:42] ---**
--Oh, this is perfect!
**[06:43] ---**
--Right?
--Oh, this is perfect!
**[06:45] ---**
Eccentric Exhibitionist! Public indecency!
You're coming to the station with me!
**[06:49] ---**
N-No...! I-I at least want
to be caught as myself!
**[06:53] ---**
It's pretty cute.
**[06:55] ---**
Where did you go, damn vampire?!
**[06:57] ---**
Sand!
**[07:00] ---**
Over there! My spirit effigy
is over there!
**[07:03] ---**
How dare you toy with me like this!
**[07:06] ---**
Bastard, what are you playing at?!
**[07:08] ---**
N-Nothing--
**[07:16] ---**
How was the patrol?
**[07:17] ---**
O-Oh, we couldn't find Tsujigiri...
**[07:20] ---**
I'm glad you're okay, though.
**[07:22] ---**
Too close! Too close!
**[07:24] ---**
That Tsujigiri Nagiri bastard
appeared in Shin-Yoko!
**[07:28] ---**
What? No way! Someone like
that was around here?!
**[07:30] ---**
That's scary! Sand...
**[07:33] ---**
Who was this guy, anyway?
**[07:39] ---**
Bosatsu! Come out, Bosatsu!
**[07:40] ---**
"Cats Are Cute"
Bosatsu! Come out, Bosatsu!
**[07:43] ---**
"Cats Are Cute"
How's it going, Ronaldo?
**[07:45] ---**
Not good. He got behind the plumbing...
**[07:49] ---**
That's inconvenient.
**[07:50] ---**
Before he defecates in there or somethin--
**[07:52] ---**
Sand!
**[07:53] ---**
What's wrong?! Did a vampire appear?!
**[07:55] ---**
Wh-What are you doing?
**[07:57] ---**
I came to observe Draluc.
**[07:59] ---**
I meant, why did you come
out of the floor, moron?!
**[08:02] ---**
Last time, that idiot Handa came in my
place without asking, so I thought I'd--
**[08:05] ---**
Don't tell me you made a path
down there without asking.
**[08:08] ---**
What is wrong with you people?
**[08:09] ---**
--So I thought I'd formally--
--Anyway, what about your other work?
**[08:11] ---**
You have a lot of free time or something?
**[08:14] ---**
S-Sorry about that...
**[08:16] ---**
Long time no see, beautiful young lady--
**[08:19] ---**
Shut up. I'm disappointed in you.
**[08:20] ---**
Sand! What?! Did I do something?
**[08:24] ---**
Well? What were you guys doing?
**[08:27] ---**
Oh, a stray cat from the neighborhood
got lost in this building.
**[08:31] ---**
He always looks like he's smiling,
so we call him "Bosatsu."
**[08:35] ---**
But he won't come out even when we call.
**[08:39] ---**
Maybe he doesn't like you.
**[08:40] ---**
--You didn't have to say it like that...
**[08:42] ---**
--All right, I'll help, too!
--You didn't have to say it like that...
**[08:44] ---**
Thanks. You must have a
lot of free time on your hands.
**[08:46] ---**
--Free time... He said I have free time...
**[08:48] ---**
--Stop playing around, you two. Hurry up!
--Free time... He said I have free time...
**[08:51] ---**
What should we do?
We can't sprinkle water around here.
**[08:54] ---**
Poke him with a stick?
**[08:56] ---**
It might have the opposite effect
if we scare him, though.
**[08:58] ---**
What if we have John talk to him?
**[09:03] ---**
John. Convince the cat to go outside.
**[09:10] ---**
Huh? What's wrong, John?
**[09:12] ---**
It looks like his back is caught.
**[09:14] ---**
John...!
**[09:16] ---**
H-Hurry up and pull him out!
**[09:19] ---**
Maybe Bosatsu was scared because
an armadillo appeared suddenly.
**[09:22] ---**
Wouldn't it be better
to lure him out with food?
**[09:25] ---**
I have leftover cookies I baked yesterday.
**[09:29] ---**
He's not a hamster.
**[09:33] ---**
Bastard... What are these...?
**[09:37] ---**
Welcome home. Dinner's ready.
**[09:39] ---**
Right, I'll have some.
**[09:42] ---**
You little-- Are you trying
to deceive me again?!
**[09:44] ---**
No, I was trying to use it as cat food.
**[09:49] ---**
Well, it's probably faster to scare him
and chase him out somehow.
**[09:52] ---**
What if we make a loud sound?
**[09:54] ---**
Oh, how about this?
**[09:54] ---**
"1. Kill Draluc"
Oh, how about this?
**[09:55] ---**
"1. Kill Draluc"
"2. Pour him in through cracks"
**[09:56] ---**
"1. Kill Draluc"
"2. Pour him in through cracks"
"3. Cat comes out"
**[09:56] ---**
You just want to do Step 1, don't you?!
**[10:00] ---**
You don't respect my life!
**[10:04] ---**
Okay, Hinaichi. You catch the cat
when he's running away.
**[10:06] ---**
Leave it to me!
**[10:08] ---**
S-Stop it, cat! Wait-- Sand!
Ouch, ouch! Sand! So cramped! Sand!
**[10:15] ---**
Bite.
**[10:17] ---**
Sand...
**[10:19] ---**
He's just getting killed over and over.
**[10:21] ---**
Is this hell?
**[10:22] ---**
That's not it! Ronaldo, this guy is--
**[10:24] ---**
Meow.
**[10:25] ---**
Here he is, Hinaichi!
**[10:27] ---**
All right, come here, Bosatsu!
**[10:30] ---**
Get away! That cat's a vampire!
**[10:33] ---**
What?! Hey, Hinaichi, are you all right?!
**[10:38] ---**
I love cats!
**[10:40] ---**
What's wrong?!
**[10:41] ---**
"Vampire Cat - Bosatsu"
Now, my servant, capture those two.
**[10:45] ---**
Yes, Master Bosatsu.
**[10:46] ---**
She's being controlled!
**[10:48] ---**
That guy! Even though he's a cat,
he can hypnotize people!
**[10:52] ---**
Seriously? He's better than you.
**[10:54] ---**
Be quiet! Hurry up and get
that cat away from Hinaichi!
**[10:58] ---**
Sorry, Bosatsu! Please come quietly!
**[11:02] ---**
Ronaldo!
**[11:08] ---**
It's no use. Give up
and become my servant.
**[11:12] ---**
Why are you doing this, Bosatsu?
**[11:16] ---**
Isn't it obvious?
**[11:18] ---**
With my hypnosis, I will make
all of humanity into cat lovers!
**[11:23] ---**
Humans are cats' slaves.
**[11:25] ---**
They will be degraded to beings whose
only purpose is to open cans of cat food.
**[11:29] ---**
Man, this cat had bigger
ambitions than I expected.
**[11:32] ---**
How about it? If you submit to me,
then I will let you pet my butt.
**[11:37] ---**
I-I won't do something like that!
**[11:39] ---**
He looks like he wants to, though...
**[11:41] ---**
That's right, Ronaldo!
Hurry up and become a cat lover, too!
**[11:44] ---**
If you do, then, you know--
**[11:47] ---**
You'll think cats are...
cute... so cute...
**[11:50] ---**
You're so bad at this!
**[11:51] ---**
Shut up! I'll turn you into a cat lover
even if I have to use brute force!
**[11:54] ---**
Get a hold of yourself,
Vampire Control Division!
**[11:59] ---**
Damn it... She's really strong...
**[12:03] ---**
Hey, are you all right, Ronaldo?
**[12:06] ---**
John!
**[12:09] ---**
J-John... if you were bitten back then...
**[12:16] ---**
R-Ronaldo...
**[12:19] ---**
I love cats...
**[12:21] ---**
Ronaldo!
**[12:24] ---**
You're the only one left,
my feeble compatriot.
**[12:29] ---**
How can a cat call me compatriot?!
**[12:32] ---**
It's annoying, but it looks like
my hypnosis doesn't work on you,
**[12:36] ---**
so I'll capture you
and use you as kitty litter.
**[12:40] ---**
No way!
**[12:41] ---**
Wait a minute, Master Bosatsu.
The only thing that guy can do is cook.
**[12:45] ---**
His cookies were delicious!
**[12:47] ---**
It'd be a waste to make
him into kitty litter.
**[12:49] ---**
Very well.
**[12:51] ---**
Then three days a week, he'll be my chef,
**[12:53] ---**
and he can be kitty litter
four days a week.
**[12:56] ---**
Do you guys want to eat food
cooked by a toilet?!
**[12:59] ---**
That's enough of your impertinent talk.
I've got you, Draluc.
**[13:05] ---**
How foolish. Cats sit atop
this world, after all... Hm?
**[13:10] ---**
A phone?
**[13:12] ---**
You got carried away, cat!
This is the end for you!
**[13:16] ---**
What?!
**[13:17] ---**
What did you do, Draluc--?!
**[13:19] ---**
What was the urgent business, Draluc?
**[13:23] ---**
Hm?
**[13:24] ---**
Ronaldo, if you sleep here,
you'll catch a cold.
**[13:28] ---**
Wh-Who is this man?
**[13:31] ---**
Do you see him? He's our lethal weapon!
Autumn's young assassin!
**[13:35] ---**
His whole body's a battle axe!
**[13:38] ---**
Now, Mr. Fukuma, show that cat--
**[13:41] ---**
So cute!
**[13:42] ---**
What?!
**[13:43] ---**
I love cats.
**[13:46] ---**
Oh, no, today's humanity's last day!
**[13:49] ---**
Now, you will become a cornerstone
of my plan to rule over humanity--
**[13:53] ---**
Stop! Stop!
**[13:58] ---**
I...
**[14:00] ---**
I can't stand for a cat's precious heart
to be broken by humans...
**[14:07] ---**
You are mine, and mine alone.
**[14:09] ---**
I will do everything to
bring you perfect joy.
**[14:12] ---**
I will make a paradise just for us.
**[14:15] ---**
Now, let us go... to a place where you
will be treasured for all eternity.
**[14:21] ---**
Hey, w-wait a minute--
**[14:25] ---**
Huh? What was I doing...?
**[14:33] ---**
Jeez, I can't believe that happened
with a hunter and Vamp Control around.
**[14:39] ---**
I-I am ashamed...
**[14:40] ---**
Shut up! You didn't do anything, either!
**[14:44] ---**
Excuse me.
**[14:46] ---**
M-M-Mr. Fukuma! Sorry for causing
you trouble the other day!
**[14:49] ---**
Don't worry about it.
**[14:51] ---**
Oh, what's in that cage?
**[14:53] ---**
It's Bosatsu.
I decided to keep him as a pet.
**[14:56] ---**
Oh, is he okay? Does he get
out of control, or anything?
**[15:00] ---**
No, he's a very good cat.
**[15:06] ---**
Sand!
**[15:06] ---**
Bosatsu, is your new home fun?
**[15:09] ---**
Yes, it is fun... I'm glad
you let me be your pet...
**[15:20] ---**
"Handa, Day Off, History"
Hmm, I've completed the event
and gotten all the items.
**[15:26] ---**
Anyway, Ronaldo's taking a long time.
**[15:30] ---**
He said he was just going to Vamima.
**[15:33] ---**
Is he reading *Champion*
in the store or somethi--?
**[15:35] ---**
Vampire Draluc!
**[15:36] ---**
Sand!
**[15:38] ---**
H-Handa! Are you here to search the house
again under the pretext of surveillance?
**[15:41] ---**
You fool! I'm off duty today.
**[15:44] ---**
If you're off duty, then why are you here?
**[15:46] ---**
Isn't it obvious?
**[15:48] ---**
First, last time, the two of us
presented a united front.
**[15:52] ---**
And you're a vampire,
and I'm a dhampir.
**[15:56] ---**
Do I have to spell it out for you?
**[15:57] ---**
I-I don't get it at all!
Give me a hint.
**[16:01] ---**
Hint ♪1. I came over to hang out.
**[16:03] ---**
W-Welcome.
**[16:05] ---**
Someone strange has
taken a liking to me...
**[16:09] ---**
Ronaldo isn't home yet.
**[16:12] ---**
He can just stay out! I don't want
him to butt in on my day off!
**[16:15] ---**
So in order to keep him
from getting close,
**[16:17] ---**
I've placed celery traps
all around this building.
**[16:19] ---**
"The entrance is covered with celery"
"Hurry up, I can't get inside"
I've placed celery traps
all around this building.
**[16:21] ---**
"The entrance is covered with celery"
"Hurry up, I can't get inside"
It must be true. I've got a ton
of messages asking for help.
**[16:24] ---**
I know there's the thing with your mom,
but you don't kid around, huh?
**[16:28] ---**
Mom-- No, it's not just about my mother!
**[16:30] ---**
He's always been my enemy.
**[16:33] ---**
Oh, yeah, you two went to
high school together, right?
**[16:35] ---**
Interesting! Will you tell me
about the good old days?
**[16:39] ---**
"Record of My Fights with
My Sworn Enemy Ronaldo"
**[16:40] ---**
"Record of My Fights with
My Sworn Enemy Ronaldo"
You hedonist busybody.
Fine, I'll tell you of his foolish past.
**[16:44] ---**
"Record of My Fights with
My Sworn Enemy Ronaldo"
Whoa, this is what they use
in meetings! Scary!
**[16:47] ---**
You idiot! You're the one
who wanted to hear about it!
**[16:50] ---**
Shut up and check the documents quickly!
**[16:52] ---**
Hey, what is that? Do you carry
that around with you?
**[16:54] ---**
You don't want to hear about it?
**[16:56] ---**
I *really* want to hear about it.
**[16:57] ---**
Very well!
**[16:58] ---**
Now, I will begin!
Be quiet during the screening!
**[17:01] ---**
Right, I'll turn my phone to silent.
**[17:04] ---**
Let's see, first--
**[17:06] ---**
What's that?!
**[17:06] ---**
As a hook, I have a slideshow of
Ronaldo's disgraceful behavior.
**[17:10] ---**
Skip it, please.
**[17:12] ---**
Tell me more about the
start of your rivalry.
**[17:15] ---**
Damn it, fine. I'll tell you.
**[17:18] ---**
On the first day of school--
**[17:21] ---**
Handa! You wanna join Vamp Control, right?
**[17:23] ---**
I wanna be a hunter.
Look forward to working with you.
**[17:26] ---**
You think you can compete with me?
You don't know your place!
**[17:29] ---**
Before I go after vampires,
I'm gonna go after you!
**[17:32] ---**
And so, I understood that he
was a man to be defeated.
**[17:35] ---**
Ronaldo got caught up
with a landmine, huh?
**[17:38] ---**
He wasn't caught up in anything!
**[17:40] ---**
I just thought I should crush any
future business rivals early!
**[17:43] ---**
It's unusual to see someone who seems
to have as few friends as you.
**[17:47] ---**
Since then, I started acting
to defeat Ronaldo.
**[17:50] ---**
The gloomiest active adolescence ever!
**[17:53] ---**
By taking blood pills,
**[17:55] ---**
we dhampirs are able to temporarily
boost our physical abilities.
**[18:00] ---**
Using these abilities, I dug pitfalls
on Ronaldo's route to school!
**[18:04] ---**
"Ronaldo's backpack is lame"
Misuse of powers!
**[18:05] ---**
"Ronaldo's backpack is lame"
Wrote propaganda using desks!
**[18:07] ---**
And bought all the bread at the
school store before Ronaldo could!
**[18:10] ---**
Does that have anything
to do with your abilities?
**[18:11] ---**
"School Store Bread"
Does that have anything
to do with your abilities?
**[18:12] ---**
"Stonefly Larvae Bread"
Does that have anything
to do with your abilities?
**[18:13] ---**
"Stonefly Larvae Bread"
Who took these pictures?
**[18:14] ---**
"Stonefly Larvae Bread"
There was a newspaper club member
that always followed me around.
**[18:16] ---**
"Extra! Handa's Strange Behavior Today"
There was a newspaper club member
that always followed me around.
**[18:18] ---**
"Extra! Handa's Strange Behavior Today"
You're being exposed in the article!
**[18:20] ---**
These are the chronicles of how
you caused trouble for Ronaldo.
**[18:24] ---**
What do you mean, "caused trouble"? Fool!
**[18:28] ---**
Then, why don't I tell you
about how I saved that guy?
**[18:31] ---**
Oh?
**[18:33] ---**
Ever since then, he has been no match.
**[18:34] ---**
"Hurry up and help. Clean this up.
Hurry up and come do it"
"Answer your phone!!!!!!!"
Ever since then, he has been no match.
**[18:36] ---**
"Hurry up and help. Clean this up.
Hurry up and come do it"
"Answer your phone!!!!!!!"
Let me hear it!
**[18:38] ---**
One day, around sunset...
**[18:41] ---**
Hurry up and carry it, Ronaldo!
**[18:43] ---**
*You're* the one who said you'd clean up.
Why do *I* have to do it, too, damn it?
**[18:48] ---**
Ronaldo, look this way, please.
**[18:50] ---**
*You* help, too, Kameya.
**[18:53] ---**
I'll let you do the rest.
**[18:54] ---**
Are you stupid?
You stay until it's done, too.
**[19:00] ---**
Oh, no! Someone stuck a shovel
in the door handles.
**[19:03] ---**
Seriously?
**[19:05] ---**
Form a scrum! Let's break down the door!
**[19:07] ---**
We can't. It's metal.
**[19:08] ---**
If we wait, a teacher will
see us on their rounds.
**[19:11] ---**
You're not alert enough to danger!
**[19:13] ---**
I can't believe you think you can
be a hunter like that, Ronaldo!
**[19:16] ---**
What does that have to do with
anything?! You're too close!
**[19:18] ---**
Yeah, it's not like there's
a vampire here.
**[19:25] ---**
""
"Inferior vampire. Feeds using the mouth on
its head. It messily melts away clothes and things
that are in the way and sucks just the blood."
**[19:28] ---**
What *is* this thing?!
**[19:30] ---**
A vampire! What's it doing here?!
**[19:33] ---**
Kameya!
**[19:35] ---**
T-Take a picture for me with
the whole body in the picture!
**[19:37] ---**
The flash setting's fine as-is.
**[19:39] ---**
Whoa, Kameya, you can definitely be a pro!
**[19:42] ---**
Get away! You bastard!
**[19:46] ---**
Are you all right, Kameya?
**[19:48] ---**
I-I'm fine... I just had some
blood sucked out of me...
**[19:52] ---**
But my clothes are a little melted...
**[19:54] ---**
Kameya...!
**[19:56] ---**
Take a picture of me...
I'll use it as a victim photo...
**[19:59] ---**
Treat yourself better, Kameya!
**[20:03] ---**
C-Crap, we'll all look like
we're wearing high-leg clothes!
**[20:06] ---**
Calm down, you idiot!
You call yourself a future hunter?
**[20:10] ---**
Before whining about it,
you should defeat this guy!
**[20:13] ---**
B-But how? Kicking it
didn't seem to do anything.
**[20:16] ---**
I have a plan.
**[20:18] ---**
Ten seconds. Get that guy's attention!
**[20:21] ---**
R-Right!
**[20:23] ---**
Damn it, you bastard!
**[20:29] ---**
Let go, you bastard!
**[20:39] ---**
Did you see that, fool?
Most vampires are weak to fire.
**[20:43] ---**
Th-Thanks for saving me, Handa...
**[20:45] ---**
Ideally... it would've been nice if
you'd done it a little sooner, though.
**[20:50] ---**
Hey, is anyone in there?
Did you get locked in?
**[20:56] ---**
It's not what you think!
**[20:58] ---**
--Hey, what're you doing?!
--No, there was a vampire here!
Right, Handa?! He's gone!
**[21:01] ---**
--Kameya, too?! What kind of ritual
is this?! Men's Sabbath?!
--No, there was a vampire here!
Right, Handa?! He's gone!
**[21:04] ---**
It's not a sabbath!
**[21:06] ---**
That was something that happened.
**[21:09] ---**
It's hard to tell if Ronaldo
was actually saved, though.
**[21:12] ---**
But I think Ronaldo does feel like
he's in some debt to you.
**[21:17] ---**
Of course.
**[21:18] ---**
But why would an inferior vampire
be in a place like that?
**[21:23] ---**
Because I brought it there!
**[21:24] ---**
The culprit!
**[21:26] ---**
Ronaldo was the only one who was supposed
to be trapped there, but I messed up.
**[21:29] ---**
But it turned out okay in the end!
**[21:31] ---**
It was hilarious watching that clueless
guy thank me in that high-leg outfit.
**[21:41] ---**
You think we can get them to pay
for the window this time?
**[21:44] ---**
That might be a little hard.
**[21:48] ---**
"Cruel"
**[21:50] ---**
"Game"
**[21:51] ---**
"Begins"
**[21:53] ---**
We're up against my family.
**[21:55] ---**
I'm a *hunter*, you know!
**[22:00] ---**
He's the strongest,
most troublesome vampire in the family.
**[22:06] ---**
The vampire dies in no time.
# E6 - Draluc's Family
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GG1U2QG2P/dralucs-family)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:02] ---**
Now, what jobs do we have toda-- Sand!
**[00:06] ---**
H-Help me!
**[00:07] ---**
Wh-Who are you?!
**[00:09] ---**
Hey, Ronaldo, this is--
**[00:10] ---**
I'll explain later! I'm being
chased! Hide me! Hurry!
**[00:14] ---**
Th-This is too sudden!
**[00:17] ---**
How about above the ceiling?
**[00:21] ---**
Who are you? Why are you
being chased? Who's after you?
**[00:25] ---**
Shh! She's here. Be quiet.
**[00:37] ---**
Adamppi...
**[00:41] ---**
Where are you?
**[00:46] ---**
Bite me...!
**[02:20] ---**
"Tale of the Empress's Birth"
**[02:21] ---**
"Tale of the Empress's Birth"
Come on, are there even late
bloomers for blood sucking?
**[02:25] ---**
I guess I'll have to turn into
a vampire and stay by your side.
**[02:32] ---**
Hurry up and come out! Bite me!
**[02:37] ---**
What the hell?
**[02:39] ---**
Who the hell are you?
**[02:41] ---**
Why is that...? Why are you being
chased by someone like that?
**[02:44] ---**
Wait, Ronaldo, this man is--
**[02:46] ---**
Yeah, I'm Adam. I'm a vampire.
**[02:50] ---**
What?!
**[02:51] ---**
I'm a fool who has been living
among humans, though.
**[02:55] ---**
Why did a vampire seek refuge here?!
**[02:58] ---**
Who was that brave lady, compatriot?
**[03:02] ---**
It's a long story...
**[03:05] ---**
Two months ago, I was hungry and
walking around Shin-Yokohama.
**[03:11] ---**
And then--
**[03:12] ---**
And then? And then?
**[03:14] ---**
A cute, delicious-looking girl!
**[03:17] ---**
If I make friends with her,
she might let me suck her blood.
**[03:20] ---**
Hey, you over there!
**[03:21] ---**
You're really cute.
Do you wanna grab a bite to eat?
**[03:25] ---**
What, are you hitting on me?
**[03:27] ---**
That's fine, but you won't do
anything weird, will you?
**[03:29] ---**
Whoa, not you!
**[03:31] ---**
Oh, my, you're hot!
**[03:33] ---**
I'm Maremi Gekkoin!
**[03:34] ---**
"Female College Student - Maremi Gekkoin"
I'm Maremi Gekkoin!
**[03:36] ---**
Nice to meet you!
Let's trade Messe IDs!
**[03:40] ---**
--Let's trade!
--Help me...!
**[03:45] ---**
I didn't know what to do,
so I told her I was a vampire,
**[03:47] ---**
and she started following me around even
more, saying, "You can suck my blood."
**[03:52] ---**
Please, do something about her!
**[03:54] ---**
Go home.
**[03:54] ---**
Why?! I heard you hunt
down vampires' problems!
**[03:58] ---**
No, I don't! Where'd you hear that?!
**[04:00] ---**
This problem stems from
blind passion. It's foolish.
**[04:03] ---**
S-Stop! Don't go down yet!
**[04:05] ---**
I was in the middle of a game.
**[04:08] ---**
A presence!
**[04:10] ---**
--Adamppi, fall in love!
--Sand...!
**[04:13] ---**
Oh, no, this isn't him.
**[04:15] ---**
Who's this person slipping
silkily through my fingers?
**[04:17] ---**
Adamppi, you meanie! Bite me!
**[04:20] ---**
She's gotten more aggressive
as her love grows...
**[04:24] ---**
That's scary.
**[04:28] ---**
Please, help me!
**[04:29] ---**
Are you stupid? No one can
do anything about this!
**[04:32] ---**
Then, I'll leave this town!
**[04:34] ---**
Just help me get out
without her seeing me!
**[04:37] ---**
Damn it, why do I get all the idiots?!
**[04:42] ---**
Listen, you can get to the hallway
upstairs from there.
**[04:45] ---**
While that girl's watching
the office, run down the stairs.
**[04:48] ---**
You're on your own after that.
**[04:50] ---**
Thanks. I owe you one.
**[04:53] ---**
John, we'll collect Lord
Dral later. Come here!
**[05:03] ---**
All right, the coast looks clear.
**[05:05] ---**
Wait, keep your voice down!
**[05:07] ---**
She's in her college's choir,
so she has good ears.
**[05:12] ---**
Why do you kind of know about her?
**[05:14] ---**
"Clubs - Choir, etc."
"Hobbies - Eating meat"
"Attracted to - Adamcchi"
Well, she forced her profile on me...
**[05:20] ---**
Found you, Adamppi.
**[05:23] ---**
Our game of tag is over.
**[05:25] ---**
Today's the day I'll let
you suck my blood!
**[05:28] ---**
I'll become a vampire and stay
with you forever, Adamppi!
**[05:33] ---**
It's fine, that's not necessary!
**[05:35] ---**
You won't be popular if you hold
back too much! Now, bite me!
**[05:40] ---**
A dead end!
**[05:41] ---**
"Evacuation Apparatus"
A dead end!
**[05:45] ---**
Bite me...!
**[06:05] ---**
Wh-Why...?
**[06:09] ---**
Why did you save me?
**[06:13] ---**
I was so rude to you...
**[06:17] ---**
That's... not true...
**[06:22] ---**
You're kind...
**[06:25] ---**
You never... called me... "ugly"...
**[06:34] ---**
I was happy... Sorry I kept...
following you around...
**[06:43] ---**
I'm okay dying... for your sake...
**[06:46] ---**
Don't... Don't say that!
**[06:51] ---**
We're always going to be together, right?!
**[07:02] ---**
Wh-What happened?!
**[07:04] ---**
She's rapidly transforming into a vampire!
**[07:07] ---**
She has the aptitude to
become a huge vampire!
**[07:13] ---**
My chest throbs!
I'm brimming with life!
**[07:18] ---**
So this is what "love force" means!
**[07:23] ---**
"Vampire Empress - Maremi Gekkoin"
**[07:23] ---**
"Vampire Empress - Maremi Gekkoin"
Vampire Empress, Maremi Gekkoin.
**[07:28] ---**
Bursting... onto the scene...
**[07:32] ---**
I feel radiant.
Like I returned to my true form.
**[07:38] ---**
Now, let us go, Adamppi.
**[07:42] ---**
Y... Yes.
**[07:48] ---**
This is the start of a new night.
**[08:01] ---**
"Ronaldo Vampire Hunter Agency"
**[08:02] ---**
"Ronaldo Vampire Hunter Agency"
And so, Maremi and I have started
going out, but I'm too weak, so...
**[08:03] ---**
And so, Maremi and I have started
going out, but I'm too weak, so...
**[08:09] ---**
I want to become a man that is her equal!
**[08:12] ---**
Please introduce me to a gym
you recommend for vampires!
**[08:15] ---**
Go home!
**[08:20] ---**
"New Year's Sale"
**[08:21] ---**
"New Year's Sale"
"Draluc's Family"
**[08:23] ---**
"Draluc's Family"
**[08:24] ---**
"Draluc's Family"
Thank you!
**[08:27] ---**
Man... it's the new year,
and I'm *still* living with that idiot?
**[08:35] ---**
John! John!
**[08:39] ---**
John, it's a little late,
but here's a New Year's gift.
**[08:44] ---**
I told you, not this year.
I cannot go to the New Year's party.
**[08:48] ---**
What? I want to see you!
**[08:51] ---**
I will be in Shin-Yokohama
on that day, Father.
**[08:53] ---**
Then, let's have it in Shin-Yokohama!
We can rent out the Vrince Hotel.
**[08:57] ---**
I have plans with the human
I was telling you about.
**[08:59] ---**
Bring that human with you.
I'll give him a New Year's gift, too.
**[09:04] ---**
Ronaldo, do you want to come
to my family's New Year's party?
**[09:07] ---**
Are you stupid?!
**[09:09] ---**
Father, I'll see you at the party.
**[09:12] ---**
I'm a *vampire hunter*.
Do you know what that means?
**[09:15] ---**
That's like inviting a ball of
boric acid to a cockroach nest.
**[09:19] ---**
I'll hide the fact that you're a hunter.
**[09:22] ---**
I want to introduce you
as my friend to my family!
**[09:25] ---**
I can see what you *actually* want!
**[09:26] ---**
Don't be so cold. I think it'll be a good
story for *The Ronaldo Chronicles*.
**[09:30] ---**
Shut up, idiot--!
**[09:33] ---**
Wait, a gathering of vampires...
As a hunter, should I be supervising this?
**[09:38] ---**
I mean, if I don't and something happens,
it'll probably be made out to be my fault!
**[09:42] ---**
I'm only going to stop by.
**[09:44] ---**
Yay!
**[09:47] ---**
They rented out the top
floor of the Vrince Hotel?
**[09:55] ---**
Hm? Draluc, I've missed you!
**[09:55] ---**
"Draluc's Father - Draus"
Hm? Draluc, I've missed you!
**[09:59] ---**
Long time no see!
Here's your New Year's gift.
**[10:02] ---**
And one for John, too.
**[10:04] ---**
Thanks.
**[10:05] ---**
Oh, I'll take care of his, too.
**[10:08] ---**
Is Mother still working?
**[10:10] ---**
Yes, Mira is so busy...
**[10:19] ---**
Hello, human. I've heard
about you from Draluc.
**[10:23] ---**
Huh? Oh, hello.
**[10:25] ---**
He says you are a pole dancer?
**[10:27] ---**
I'm gonna kill you, Draluc.
**[10:29] ---**
How did a pole dancer meet Draluc?
**[10:32] ---**
I'm gonna kill you, Draluc. Five times.
**[10:35] ---**
Oh, um...
**[10:37] ---**
I met him while he was performing
in front of the station.
**[10:40] ---**
Performing a pole dance?
**[10:41] ---**
You bastard!
**[10:42] ---**
Oh, um, please excuse us for a moment.
**[10:46] ---**
Why are you telling people we met
at the station? What the hell?!
**[10:49] ---**
What am I supposed to say then?
**[10:50] ---**
I didn't tell anyone
the castle was destroyed.
**[10:53] ---**
Are you seriously an idiot?!
**[10:55] ---**
That was originally
my grandfather's castle.
**[10:58] ---**
I thought he'd be a little mad about it.
**[11:00] ---**
The fact that you think he'd just
be a little mad is scary, too.
**[11:03] ---**
You're complicit in the
castle's destruction, too.
**[11:05] ---**
You should get your story straight
for your own sake, as well.
**[11:08] ---**
I'm a *hunter*. Even if you all
gang up on me, I'm not scared!
**[11:13] ---**
We're a family that's friendly to humans.
**[11:16] ---**
Even if they find out
the castle was destroyed,
**[11:17] ---**
my father and the
others won't get violent.
**[11:20] ---**
They might sue, though.
**[11:22] ---**
Stop!
**[11:23] ---**
Right? It's to hide this from my family.
Just pretend to be a pole dancer for now!
**[11:28] ---**
You just think it's funny!
**[11:33] ---**
Damn it, why is this happening to me?
**[11:36] ---**
Hey, human.
**[11:38] ---**
Oh, you're--
**[11:39] ---**
"Draluc's Aunt - Gorgona"
I'm Draluc's aunt, Gorgona.
**[11:41] ---**
Oh, I'm--
**[11:43] ---**
If I search your name online,
will I get any hits?
**[11:46] ---**
You're a pole dancer in Shin-Yokohama?
**[11:48] ---**
My name is Paul... Paul McCartney...
**[11:52] ---**
Oh, that's a good name for a pole dancer.
**[11:55] ---**
That was close!
**[11:56] ---**
If she'd searched for Ronaldo, she
would've gotten *The Ronaldo Chronicles*.
**[11:59] ---**
Then, she wouldn't have just
found out that I was a hunter--
**[12:01] ---**
I *wrote* about destroying
Castle Draluc in there!
**[12:02] ---**
"The War Chronicles of Ronaldo"
I *wrote* about destroying
Castle Draluc in there!
**[12:05] ---**
"The War Chronicles of Ronaldo"
If anyone here reads it,
I'd be sued for sure!
**[12:07] ---**
If anyone here reads it,
I'd be sued for sure!
**[12:08] ---**
It's no good. I can't find you.
**[12:10] ---**
Well, I'm just a third-rate pole dancer...
**[12:13] ---**
Is there anything else I could search?
**[12:14] ---**
People you've performed with?
Places you've performed?
**[12:16] ---**
Why are you so fixated on pole dancing?!
**[12:18] ---**
Why are you yelling, Rona--?
**[12:20] ---**
Hey, John's lonely! Look!
**[12:24] ---**
Right now, I'm the pole dancer,
Paul McCartney, okay?!
**[12:28] ---**
That's a good name.
**[12:29] ---**
Stop messing around.
Are you even trying to hide anything?
**[12:31] ---**
S-Sorry.
**[12:32] ---**
"Rona"? What about him?
**[12:35] ---**
Oh, this guy's nickname is
"Rowdy Lolicon Bastard."
**[12:37] ---**
--Bastard!
--What?!
**[12:39] ---**
Are you teaching my son strange things?!
**[12:41] ---**
I am not, idiot!
**[12:42] ---**
Draus, everyone is free to have fetishes
as long as it doesn't hurt others.
**[12:47] ---**
What kind of help am I getting here?
**[12:49] ---**
I for one can't wait to see
a young man's pole dance.
**[12:53] ---**
There's no pole here right now!
**[12:55] ---**
Draluc, why are you with someone like him?
**[12:58] ---**
His pole dancing is
actually a work of art.
**[13:01] ---**
Oh?
**[13:02] ---**
Then let me ask you--what are you
expressing through your pole dancing?
**[13:06] ---**
Hell if I know!
**[13:08] ---**
J-Japan's four seasons...?
**[13:13] ---**
--S-Sand...
**[13:14] ---**
--Don't die while laughing!
--S-Sand...
**[13:16] ---**
Using pole dance to show the
vicissitudes and colors of time...
**[13:19] ---**
Draluc was able to see
those sensibilities?
**[13:22] ---**
I expect nothing less from my son.
**[13:23] ---**
Don't be satisfied with that answer!
**[13:25] ---**
I was an idiot to think about supervising
this as a hunter. I don't care anymore.
**[13:29] ---**
I'm going home!
**[13:32] ---**
Oh, excuse me.
**[13:36] ---**
Grandfather?! I thought you said
you were not coming today!
**[13:42] ---**
I changed my mind.
**[13:44] ---**
Grandfather?
**[13:45] ---**
He is my grandfather
and the head of our family!
**[13:49] ---**
"Draluc's Grandfather - Progenitor"
The strongest vampire of our entire
family, and the hardest one to deal with.
**[13:54] ---**
A son of man... A friend of Draluc's?
**[13:58] ---**
Huh? Uh, yes...
**[14:01] ---**
I see. Nice to meet you.
I want to be your friend, as well.
**[14:06] ---**
What? He's pretty friendly.
**[14:10] ---**
Here's my QR code.
Please follow me on social media.
**[14:15] ---**
That's being too frank!
**[14:16] ---**
Be careful! Grandfather sends stickers
by the second! It's such a bother!
**[14:22] ---**
Shut up! I was an idiot for being wary
of your grandfather for even a second!
**[14:26] ---**
No! Grandfather really *is*
hard to deal with!
**[14:29] ---**
His stamina and energy
are like that of a monster,
**[14:31] ---**
and he makes the whole family go along
with his hobbies and whims!
**[14:35] ---**
We'll ride bikes next.
**[14:37] ---**
At last year's New Year's party,
**[14:39] ---**
the whole family had to do a triathlon
for the entertainment!
**[14:43] ---**
He's like a troublesome boss.
**[14:46] ---**
This year, I brought a
handmade board game.
**[14:48] ---**
No...!
**[14:49] ---**
I didn't know you'd do that!
**[14:51] ---**
Please stop, Grandfather!
**[14:53] ---**
There are even prizes
for the fastest finishers,
**[14:55] ---**
like a flat-screen TV,
a noodle maker, and a live cow.
**[15:00] ---**
And books recommended by the bookstore.
**[15:05] ---**
Wh-What is it, Paul?
**[15:07] ---**
Was that a shout to fire himself up?
**[15:09] ---**
Um, well...
**[15:11] ---**
If someone wins the game...
**[15:13] ---**
...and gets *The Ronaldo
Chronicles* as a prize...
**[15:15] ---**
...they'll read it...
**[15:17] ---**
...and find out everything.
**[15:19] ---**
Grandfather, is it possible
to just have a prize...?
**[15:22] ---**
It's not good to cheat.
**[15:29] ---**
"Draluc's Family, Continued"
**[15:31] ---**
"Draluc's Family, Continued"
To summarize--
**[15:33] ---**
We need to beat this hellish board game
made by that old man having fun by himself
**[15:37] ---**
and claim *The Ronaldo
Chronicles* as our prize,
**[15:40] ---**
or your family will find out
about the castle and sue...
**[15:44] ---**
Do your best!
**[15:45] ---**
I don't want them to find out, either!
**[15:47] ---**
But we can't deal with this normally.
We're up against my family here.
**[15:52] ---**
Unlike me, they're all vampires
with great power.
**[15:55] ---**
They're strong opponents!
**[15:57] ---**
At my father's level, he can use
pretty much all vampire abilities.
**[16:01] ---**
So that's why everyone's afraid of the
board game and getting serious about it?
**[16:05] ---**
That's terrible.
**[16:06] ---**
Of course they're scared. Grandfather
is the one standing atop our family.
**[16:12] ---**
In the first place, the entertainment
Grandfather prepares is never safe.
**[16:15] ---**
Someone should tell him to stop!
**[16:17] ---**
If that worked, we wouldn't have to--
**[16:18] ---**
Here are the rules.
**[16:19] ---**
Sand!
**[16:21] ---**
You'll all be your own game
pieces and roll the die,
**[16:24] ---**
moving that number of spaces.
**[16:26] ---**
I got three. One, two, three.
**[16:29] ---**
Turn over the panel on the space you
land on and do what the panel says.
**[16:34] ---**
Panel, open.
**[16:37] ---**
"Landmine"
**[16:40] ---**
Okay, let's begin.
**[16:41] ---**
No way!
**[16:45] ---**
Anyway, we know a three means death.
**[16:46] ---**
There's no guarantee we won't die
on a different space, though.
**[16:48] ---**
We need to figure out a way to get
through on just the safe spaces...
**[16:51] ---**
Father, let's play as a team.
**[16:54] ---**
I'll roll the die, and you
can be the game piece.
**[16:57] ---**
You shitty bastard!
**[16:58] ---**
Your daddy will do his best...
**[16:59] ---**
Yay!
**[17:00] ---**
Don't baby him!
**[17:06] ---**
Father, it's a five!
**[17:07] ---**
All right, we escaped
the landmine. Good job, son.
**[17:11] ---**
Two, three, four, five!
**[17:14] ---**
Panel, open!
**[17:18] ---**
"Vampiric pitcher plant"
"Skip a turn"
**[17:20] ---**
I-It's warm...
**[17:22] ---**
Father!
**[17:24] ---**
Sorry I'm such a bad father, Draluc.
**[17:27] ---**
What are you saying?
**[17:29] ---**
This will cause me trouble!
Hurry up and get out of there!
**[17:32] ---**
You scum!
**[17:34] ---**
You're next, Gorgona.
**[17:36] ---**
I don't want to repeat Draus's failure.
I'll use my power.
**[17:44] ---**
Yes, a six! All right!
**[17:47] ---**
I'll go on ahead, Draus.
**[17:50] ---**
"Go back 1 space"
**[17:52] ---**
It's so warm...
**[17:53] ---**
So relaxing...
**[17:55] ---**
Next, Paul!
**[17:59] ---**
"3 - death"
**[18:00] ---**
"3 - death"
"5 - death"
"6 - death"
**[18:02] ---**
I have a 50% chance of dying!
**[18:05] ---**
Damn it, go!
**[18:08] ---**
All right! Good job, me!
**[18:10] ---**
Panel, open! Come on!
**[18:12] ---**
"Wear bunny girl outfit for rest of game"
**[18:16] ---**
The bunny space is safe!
**[18:18] ---**
A thousand times better than the landmine!
**[18:19] ---**
Get a four at all costs!
**[18:21] ---**
A person's dignity is fragile.
**[18:23] ---**
Who's next?
**[18:25] ---**
Predict what's in the spaces
with super intuition.
**[18:28] ---**
Manipulate the number on
the die with psychokinesis.
**[18:30] ---**
I got a four!
**[18:32] ---**
"Swamp"
**[18:33] ---**
"Spring"
**[18:35] ---**
"Soran work song"
♪ Soran! Soran! ♪
**[18:38] ---**
Take this!
**[18:43] ---**
All right! Only five more spaces...
**[18:46] ---**
"Finish your sentences with 'meow'"
**[18:47] ---**
...to the goal, meow.
**[18:50] ---**
I'm glad you're having fun.
**[18:53] ---**
Thanks... meow!
**[18:56] ---**
Rona-- Paul, we can win this!
**[18:59] ---**
If one of us gets a 5, then we're done!
**[19:02] ---**
Now, let's go, Father.
**[19:04] ---**
I'm counting on you, son. Meow.
**[19:08] ---**
Draluc Dice Roll!
**[19:11] ---**
"Go back to start"
**[19:14] ---**
Sorry.
**[19:15] ---**
You idiot, meow!
**[19:18] ---**
Oh. I caught up to you. Meow.
**[19:22] ---**
Crap, crap, crap.
If I don't win now, it's over for me!
**[19:26] ---**
Paul, you're next.
**[19:30] ---**
Pole Dancer Throw-In!
**[19:34] ---**
Veboa-bipi-eabat-tarabaa!
**[19:41] ---**
Jaa-shara-ha!
**[19:48] ---**
Goal!
**[19:49] ---**
Congratulations! Here are the prizes.
**[19:51] ---**
I recommend the cow.
**[19:53] ---**
No, I'd rather have these cool books!
**[19:57] ---**
Well then, let's continue
until everyone finishes.
**[19:59] ---**
No, let's end it here.
**[20:01] ---**
Someone already won.
**[20:02] ---**
Three cheers for Paul!
**[20:04] ---**
I-It worked out somehow...
**[20:06] ---**
Good work, Paul the Bunny.
**[20:08] ---**
I'll kill you.
**[20:11] ---**
Speaking of which, before I got here,
**[20:13] ---**
I stopped by Draluc's castle, but it was
blown to bits. What happened to it?
**[20:18] ---**
What? The castle... blown to...?
**[20:20] ---**
It was completely destroyed.
**[20:22] ---**
What?!
**[20:23] ---**
Ronaldo did it!
**[20:24] ---**
Bastard!
**[20:25] ---**
He's actually the hunter, Ronaldo, and--
Oh, the details are written in this book.
**[20:32] ---**
It... It's all over...
**[20:36] ---**
Huh? Seriously, what should I do?
Should I ask them not to sue me?
**[20:39] ---**
Should I eliminate them all
before they try to sue?
**[20:41] ---**
--No, that's too much, even for me.
**[20:42] ---**
--Paul! I mean, Ronaldo.
--No, that's too much, even for me.
**[20:44] ---**
Huh?
**[20:46] ---**
I read your books! I was so moved!
**[20:49] ---**
Draluc has been weak
ever since he was a child,
**[20:52] ---**
so I didn't think he would
ever be able to live alone.
**[20:55] ---**
But for that son to grow to become
able to fight evenly with a hunter
**[20:58] ---**
and work with him to eliminate
our evil compatriots--
**[21:02] ---**
A castle or two is nothing
if it's to help Draluc!
**[21:05] ---**
There's a limit to how much
you should spoil your kid!
**[21:07] ---**
It's fine. It's just a castle.
**[21:09] ---**
So easygoing!
**[21:11] ---**
Well then, why don't we close
with three cheers?
**[21:14] ---**
Yeah!
**[21:15] ---**
--Um, well, I guess I'll be counting
on you from now on, too, Ronaldo--
--Hip, hip, hooray! Hip, hip,
hooray! Hip, hip, hooray!
**[21:21] ---**
Dra... luc...!
**[21:25] ---**
"The End"
Dra... luc...!
**[21:34] ---**
Draluc.
**[21:37] ---**
Yes?
**[21:38] ---**
Cherish your human friend.
**[21:43] ---**
I will, Grandfather.
**[21:51] ---**
"The merry man comes in the night"
**[21:59] ---**
Is this some kind of metaphor?
**[22:02] ---**
Don't touch that guy's beam!
**[22:06] ---**
The vampire dies in no time.
# E7 - Lewd Talk-a-Talk-Talk-Talk
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GEVUZ2EZ5/lewd-talk-a-talk-talk-talk)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:02] ---**
I hope we get an interesting
job tonight, too.
**[00:05] ---**
I don't. It's not supposed
to be entertainment.
**[00:08] ---**
This is bad, Ronaldo!
**[00:09] ---**
Manager, what's wrong?!
**[00:11] ---**
If you could make a naked woman
wear just one thing,
**[00:13] ---**
would you choose glasses or socks?
**[00:16] ---**
Go home.
**[01:48] ---**
What did you come here
all of a sudden to say?!
**[01:48] ---**
"Lewd Talk-a-Talk-Talk-Talk"
What did you come here
all of a sudden to say?!
**[01:50] ---**
"Lewd Talk-a-Talk-Talk-Talk"
Don't you have any customers at Vamima?!
**[01:51] ---**
"Lewd Talk-a-Talk-Talk-Talk"
N-No, Ronaldo! That's not it!
**[01:53] ---**
I'm just seriously contemplating which gem
would best adorn the naked body.
**[01:57] ---**
Naked with glasses, or naked with socks?
You can't choose thoughtlessly!
**[02:01] ---**
Go home! Go to sleep!
**[02:02] ---**
Wait, Ronaldo. Could this be
some kind of metaphor?
**[02:06] ---**
Is he trying to tell us something
using "naked" and "glasses"?
**[02:09] ---**
Don't use "naked" or "glasses"!
**[02:11] ---**
Help!
**[02:23] ---**
You're naughty kids to be participating
in night amusements.
**[02:26] ---**
But I like naughty kids who are honest
about their selfish desires.
**[02:33] ---**
Now, I'll make you even more honest!
**[02:42] ---**
What? A hunter?
**[02:45] ---**
Ronaldo, are you okay?
**[02:47] ---**
Yeah.
**[02:49] ---**
I want a lady with big boobs
**[02:50] ---**
to press my hand against her chest
and ask if I want to feel her boobs!
**[02:53] ---**
What?
**[02:55] ---**
Why do you want to feel
someone's boobs? Are you tired?
**[02:57] ---**
W-Wait! I didn't mean that!
**[02:59] ---**
I didn't mean, "I want to feel"! I meant,
"I want her to let me feel" them!
**[03:01] ---**
That sounds the same to me!
**[03:05] ---**
You are under my spell now, too.
**[03:08] ---**
What?!
**[03:09] ---**
"Vampire - Mr. Lewd Talk"
I'm the vampire, Mr. Lewd Talk.
**[03:12] ---**
"Vampire - Mr. Lewd Talk"
Mr. Lewd Talk?!
**[03:14] ---**
Those I hypnotize can
only say lewd things.
**[03:18] ---**
I like watching people panic when
their sexual fetishes are revealed.
**[03:22] ---**
This guy's hopeless.
**[03:24] ---**
"Bastard, I'm a hunter.
You won't escape me!"
Bastard, I want a lady
with big boobs to spoil me!
**[03:27] ---**
This guy's just a guy
who loves boobs.
**[03:30] ---**
"Do you think you can beat me
with such a dumb ability?"
Do you think even a younger girl is fine
as long as she has big boobs?
**[03:33] ---**
Of course I don't.
So I'm running away!
**[03:36] ---**
You bastard!
**[03:37] ---**
Wait!
**[03:39] ---**
"You can" "Do it"
Vampire!
**[03:40] ---**
Hinaichi! I wanna touch your nips!
**[03:41] ---**
"Don't touch his beam!"
Hinaichi! I wanna touch your nips!
**[03:42] ---**
What are you saying, pervert!
**[03:45] ---**
Hinaichi!
**[03:48] ---**
"Bastard! What did you do!?"
Wee-wee! Wee-wee, wee-wee?
**[03:51] ---**
What's wrong? You suddenly sound
like an elementary school boy.
**[03:55] ---**
W... Wee-wee!
**[03:55] ---**
"W..."
W... Wee-wee!
**[03:56] ---**
"Wait!!"
W... Wee-wee!
**[03:57] ---**
Hinaichi!
**[03:59] ---**
It's the vampire
Mr. Lewd Talk's hypnosis.
**[04:02] ---**
If he hypnotizes you,
you can only say lewd things.
**[04:04] ---**
What an interestin--I mean, scary guy.
**[04:07] ---**
"Damn it! He got away..."
Damn it! I'd want to put
a cardigan on a naked girl...
**[04:10] ---**
So that's why you've turned into
a walking fetish receptacle.
**[04:13] ---**
Wee-wee-wee...
**[04:14] ---**
Hinaichi knows so few lewd words that she
sounds like she's making animal sounds.
**[04:19] ---**
Anyway, if we don't eliminate him soon,
**[04:21] ---**
then the whole town will turn
into a dirty joke wonderland.
**[04:22] ---**
I know! I like naked girls
with glasses, too!
**[04:25] ---**
But before that,
let me just record-- Sand!
**[04:29] ---**
A butt looks sexier in a pantsuit
than in a tight skirt.
**[04:32] ---**
Oh, yeah. Suits are the best...
**[04:34] ---**
Wait, for skirts...
**[04:36] ---**
He's already doing damage.
**[04:39] ---**
Arm guy! Have you seen Mr. Lewd Talk?
**[04:42] ---**
Oh, Dra--
**[04:43] ---**
I see, he got you, too.
**[04:45] ---**
But this is an emergency!
Please tell us--which way did he go?
**[04:50] ---**
What's wrong? Hurry up!
It's for the sake of the public!
**[04:54] ---**
O-Over that way... I want to be led...
**[04:58] ---**
I see, you like strong women.
**[05:00] ---**
Don't tease him!
**[05:02] ---**
"He came into the guild suddenly,"
I like girls who come on strong
and take action decisively.
**[05:04] ---**
"created a flash, and then ran away."
I like girls who come on strong
and take action decisively.
**[05:06] ---**
Right. I don't get it, but I kind of do.
**[05:09] ---**
With men, it all comes down to size!
**[05:11] ---**
Girls worried about their
small breasts are sexy!
**[05:13] ---**
The hipline is essential.
**[05:14] ---**
Man, what a disaster.
**[05:16] ---**
A cute girl...
**[05:17] ---**
...with unwanted hair turns me on.
**[05:18] ---**
"Vampire Hunter - Shot"
...with unwanted hair turns me on.
**[05:19] ---**
"Vampire Hunter - Shot"
It's sad that this is the first
time we see his name.
**[05:22] ---**
I ***** but especially *****.
**[05:25] ---**
To have his lewd talk censored!
That's Master for you.
**[05:27] ---**
--Well...
--He's completely different from you guys.
**[05:29] ---**
Shut up! I love boobs!
**[05:31] ---**
Wee-wee!
**[05:32] ---**
Anyway, that guy's still close by!
**[05:35] ---**
An opening! Lewd Talk Beam!
**[05:38] ---**
John Guard!
**[05:42] ---**
Oh, no, John!
**[05:43] ---**
Bastard, how dare you do this to John!
**[05:45] ---**
Whoa, he's so fast!
**[05:47] ---**
Damn it, we need a plan, everyone!
**[05:50] ---**
Wee?
**[05:54] ---**
It's total pandemonium. How fun!
**[05:56] ---**
It'll be entertaining to take advantage
of this fuss and suck some blood.
**[05:59] ---**
That's enough, insolent compatriot.
**[06:02] ---**
Wh-What are you?!
**[06:04] ---**
I'm the vampire, Odd Creature.
**[06:10] ---**
You act in vain.
**[06:11] ---**
That won't work on me since I let all
my worldly desires out in full view.
**[06:15] ---**
Give it up, Mr. Lewd Talk.
Now go, Odd Creature!
**[06:21] ---**
Lewd compatriot,
your idea of desire is wrong.
**[06:25] ---**
Opening the door to desire
is what makes it beautiful.
**[06:29] ---**
Very well. Your desire and my
desire--let's see whose is better!
**[06:36] ---**
Your door was opened because
of an exterior impetus.
**[06:40] ---**
Being able to make your
own choice is important!
**[06:44] ---**
Then, let me ask you--
what is true free will?
**[06:47] ---**
Lewd talk coming out of
someone proper is good,
**[06:49] ---**
but someone worldly being
taken by surprise is the best.
**[06:51] ---**
It's true that when a woman experienced
in the ways of the world
**[06:54] ---**
gives an innocent reaction, it's really--
**[06:57] ---**
A kindred spirit!
**[06:58] ---**
Morons!
**[07:00] ---**
Now, let us pull all of humanity
into the whirlpool of lewd talk!
**[07:04] ---**
I'm sorry, compatriot.
**[07:08] ---**
No, I'm the one who's sorry.
**[07:11] ---**
I used you to stall for time.
**[07:14] ---**
Now, I'll have fun playing with you!
**[07:16] ---**
Pain is good sometimes, too, right?
**[07:25] ---**
I may perish, but lewd talk will survi--
**[07:32] ---**
Thank you very much!
**[07:37] ---**
Boobman, how are you?
**[07:39] ---**
Did someone let you feel theirs?
**[07:40] ---**
Forget that already, damn it!
**[07:46] ---**
"Tou Handa's Terrible Day Off"
**[07:48] ---**
"Tou Handa's Terrible Day Off"
I am Tou Handa. A dhampir who is
a member of the Vampire Division.
**[07:52] ---**
I'm off duty today. I feel great.
**[07:57] ---**
Morning, Mom.
**[08:00] ---**
Morning, Momo!
**[08:02] ---**
"Akemi Handa"
**[08:03] ---**
"Akemi Handa"
This is my mother, the kindest
and loveliest mom in the world.
**[08:07] ---**
You look happy. What's up?
**[08:10] ---**
Actually, I have a date with
Ronaldo the Great today!
**[08:20] ---**
Ronaldo the Great is actually here!
**[08:23] ---**
I'm so nervous! Will I really be okay?
**[08:26] ---**
"I <3 Ronaldo"
"Akemi's Ronaldo Chronicles Fan Friends"
Akemi, you'll be fine!
**[08:29] ---**
"I <3 Ronaldo"
"Akemi's Ronaldo Chronicles Fan Friends"
You won, so go enjoy yourself!
**[08:31] ---**
You won, so go enjoy yourself!
**[08:33] ---**
Thanks!
**[08:35] ---**
Um...
**[08:36] ---**
N-Nice to meet you, Ronaldo the--Ronaldo.
**[08:40] ---**
H-Hello, I'm Ronaldo.
**[08:44] ---**
I'm so happy to meet you!
**[08:45] ---**
I'm sorry an old lady
like me won the date.
**[08:48] ---**
But I'm a huge fan of
*The Ronaldo Chronicles*.
**[08:50] ---**
Even my husband laughs at me.
**[08:52] ---**
Oh, will you sign this for me?
**[08:55] ---**
Huh? Oh, um, much obliged.
**[08:58] ---**
I-I didn't think Handa's mom would win...
**[09:02] ---**
There was an ad for it in the last volume
of Autumn's literary magazine, remember?
**[09:06] ---**
"Win a Half-Day Date with Ronaldo"
There was an ad for it in the last volume
of Autumn's literary magazine, remember?
**[09:07] ---**
"Win a Half-Day Date with Ronaldo"
We have a winner for the
Half-Day Date with Ronaldo,
**[09:12] ---**
"Win a Half-Day Date with Ronaldo"
so you'll go on the date tomorrow.
**[09:14] ---**
This is the first I've heard
of *any* of this!
**[09:16] ---**
"Date Project"
"Confidential"
It's an important project to promote
sales of *The Ronaldo Chronicles*.
**[09:19] ---**
"Date Project"
"Confidential"
Please do your best to not screw this up.
**[09:24] ---**
This'll definitely be a huge disaster
if Handa finds out about it, damn it.
**[09:28] ---**
--Right, let's go then.
--If that happens,
Mr. Fukuma will chop me down!
**[09:31] ---**
I need to get this over with peacefully
somehow, without any fuss...
**[09:36] ---**
There's no way I'll let this
end peacefully, Ronaldo!
**[09:39] ---**
Now, things are getting interesting, John!
**[09:42] ---**
I was wondering why you called me
suddenly, but I see what it is now.
**[09:46] ---**
But I'm surprised you're
just sneaking around.
**[09:49] ---**
I thought for sure you'd charge in
with an anti-tank gun or something.
**[09:53] ---**
Bastard, what do you think I am?
**[09:55] ---**
A landmine with legs.
**[09:57] ---**
Sand...
**[09:59] ---**
If I beat up Ronaldo right now,
my mom'll be sad!
**[10:03] ---**
She was l... lo...
**[10:06] ---**
...looking forward to this!
**[10:09] ---**
But! If I expose his disgraceful
behavior in front of her,
**[10:12] ---**
then she'll be disillusioned
and come to her senses!
**[10:14] ---**
That's right! This is my
chance! My chance!
**[10:17] ---**
Cold sweat, cold sweat.
**[10:21] ---**
Oh, um, are you all right with human food?
**[10:24] ---**
Yes.
**[10:25] ---**
How are you planning to expose
his disgraceful behavior?
**[10:29] ---**
These kinds of dates usually
involve a meal and a walk.
**[10:33] ---**
They'll probably go to
the restaurant up ahead.
**[10:37] ---**
See?
**[10:38] ---**
Wow, you're right!
So? What will you do?
**[10:42] ---**
I'll switch his food with this
special celery Hamburg steak!
**[10:45] ---**
Your plan's suddenly sloppy!
**[10:47] ---**
He'll eat one bite and go, "Gah!"
**[10:48] ---**
Mom'll think it's gross!
It's the perfect plan!
**[10:52] ---**
Come on, we're going in.
**[10:53] ---**
Man, this is even dumber than usual!
**[10:56] ---**
I'm Handa, here as temporary staff!
**[10:59] ---**
Well, it's like, this is really
a *restaurant*, you know?
**[11:02] ---**
Bastard, chatting with my mom!
**[11:05] ---**
I'll wipe that stupid look
off your face, Ronaldo!
**[11:07] ---**
Faint in agony from this
celery Hamburg steak!
**[11:10] ---**
--What?!
--We'll eat that!
**[11:14] ---**
I don't know what you're trying,
but it's uncouth, boy.
**[11:16] ---**
We won't let you get in Ronaldo
the Great and Akemi's way.
**[11:20] ---**
An unexpected ambush...
**[11:22] ---**
Thanks for waiting. This is the chef's
recommended Hamburg steak.
**[11:26] ---**
Bastard!
**[11:28] ---**
A whole celery stalk was used
as the secret ingredient.
**[11:34] ---**
Ronaldo, are you all right?
**[11:36] ---**
Y-Yeah... I just don't like celery...
**[11:39] ---**
I'm a puking worm who pukes just because
I don't like it, so you can scorn me...
**[11:46] ---**
Everyone has things they can't eat.
I'm not going to scorn you.
**[11:52] ---**
So kind...
**[11:53] ---**
I can't believe you're Handa's mom.
**[11:56] ---**
I mean, it was written in volume one
on page 152 that you didn't like celery,
**[11:59] ---**
so I'm happy to find out it's true!
**[12:01] ---**
Yup, you're Handa's mom.
**[12:03] ---**
Oh, can I take a commemorative picture?
**[12:04] ---**
Please don't!
**[12:06] ---**
Thank you for coming.
**[12:08] ---**
What love! That's Mom for you...
**[12:11] ---**
Damn it, next! Let's go, Draluc!
**[12:14] ---**
I think in order to make
the celery flavor bolder--
**[12:17] ---**
Sand!
**[12:18] ---**
Draluc!
**[12:19] ---**
Come on, after them!
**[12:23] ---**
"Crepes"
**[12:25] ---**
Shall we sit on a bench?
**[12:27] ---**
Yes.
**[12:28] ---**
Now they're eating crepes?!
Just you watch, Ronaldo! I'll kill you!
**[12:32] ---**
What will you do next?
**[12:34] ---**
Mom has a kind, just heart,
**[12:37] ---**
so she hates those who
pick on kids and animals.
**[12:40] ---**
How did her son end up like this then? So?
**[12:43] ---**
So--first, you turn into a cute bat.
**[12:46] ---**
Sorry, I know what's going to happen next.
**[12:50] ---**
Did that cleanse your palate?
**[12:52] ---**
Oh, please forget about
what happened earlier.
**[12:56] ---**
Rustle, rustle, rustle, rustle, rustle.
**[12:58] ---**
Glance.
**[12:59] ---**
Rustle, rustle, rustle,
rustle, rustle, rustle...
**[13:03] ---**
Rustle, rustle, rustle, rustle-- Sand!
**[13:05] ---**
Draluc!
**[13:08] ---**
What was that gross thing?
**[13:10] ---**
Even Gautama Buddha would've
killed that without hesitation!
**[13:12] ---**
Well, I have a tendency to fail
at my transformations.
**[13:15] ---**
Oh?
**[13:16] ---**
Ronaldo is seriously pissed.
**[13:18] ---**
Like I care! Piss him off more!
**[13:20] ---**
If it's come to this, I'll have
to use my ultimate weapon!
**[13:24] ---**
""
"Inferior vampire who melts away
clothes into high-leg outfits"
Expose your high-leg self, Ronaldo!
**[13:27] ---**
Go! Go get Ronaldo!
**[13:37] ---**
If it's come to this...
If it's come to this...
**[13:40] ---**
Give up and go home and sleep already.
**[13:52] ---**
Mom...!
**[14:08] ---**
What was that all of a sudden?
That scared me.
**[14:12] ---**
Are you all right, Akemi?
**[14:14] ---**
Wow...
**[14:16] ---**
Ronaldo the Great, thank you so much!
**[14:19] ---**
As expected of a hunter!
**[14:21] ---**
Huh? Momo?
What are you doing here?
**[14:24] ---**
Huh? Huh? Uh...
**[14:26] ---**
Momo, did you want to meet Ronaldo
the Great, too? Sorry I hogged him...
**[14:30] ---**
Huh?
**[14:31] ---**
Was that what it was?
**[14:33] ---**
Jealous of your mom?
**[14:34] ---**
So cute!
**[14:37] ---**
My son's a fan, too!
Will you shake his hand?
**[14:42] ---**
H-Hello...
**[14:56] ---**
No...!
**[15:08] ---**
"And Then Comes Father"
**[15:16] ---**
Hey, Ronaldo! It's so boring!
**[15:19] ---**
Wanna play *Vario Kart*?
**[15:26] ---**
Where are you going? Sandbucks?
**[15:28] ---**
I wanna go, too.
**[15:30] ---**
I even practiced a spell to
get ready to go to Sandies--
**[15:32] ---**
Venti mocha, add shots of hazelnut,
vanilla, almond, and caramel
**[15:35] ---**
with extra whip and caramel sauce.
**[15:38] ---**
Can you take care of that idiot
for me for a while?
**[15:43] ---**
Now I can concentrate on my writing.
**[15:47] ---**
Huh?
**[15:50] ---**
Welcome back.
**[15:54] ---**
Bastard, how did you get back here--?
**[15:57] ---**
Huh? He didn't die.
**[16:00] ---**
Do you not know how to treat guests, Paul?
**[16:03] ---**
Huh? You're Draluc's old man!
**[16:06] ---**
Long time no see, Paul--
I mean, Hunter Ronaldo!
**[16:10] ---**
Go home!
**[16:11] ---**
Will you let me talk to you
for just a little longer?
**[16:13] ---**
What do you want, barging in like this?!
**[16:15] ---**
I came to see my son, of course.
**[16:18] ---**
What? Are you saying I'm wrong for
coming all this way to visit my son?
**[16:23] ---**
You *are* wrong if you come in without
permission and make yourself tea!
**[16:26] ---**
Well, where is Draluc?
**[16:28] ---**
Oh, he went out. You just missed him!
**[16:31] ---**
Um... he's out volunteering to help
with the emotional education of kids.
**[16:35] ---**
I-I expect no less from my son!
**[16:38] ---**
That's too bad, though.
**[16:41] ---**
I brought so many presents for him, too.
**[16:43] ---**
If you're spoiled for 200 years,
you'll turn out like Draluc...
**[16:47] ---**
I have a present for you, too, John.
It's the turntable you wanted.
**[16:50] ---**
An unexpected hobby!
**[16:52] ---**
Here's something for you, too, Paul.
It's from the 100-yen shop.
**[16:56] ---**
Go home, damn it!
**[16:58] ---**
I have no choice.
**[16:59] ---**
I'll wait here until Draluc gets back!
**[17:01] ---**
Did you hear anything I said?!
**[17:03] ---**
♬ Cruel hunter! I won't move
one step until I see my son! ♬
**[17:07] ---**
Don't dance!
**[17:08] ---**
Damn it... Oh, well, I'll just
ignore him. Ignore him!
**[17:11] ---**
Pretend he's not there and concentrate...
**[17:17] ---**
What, is that the next
*Ronaldo Chronicles* book?
**[17:20] ---**
Bear it! You lose if you react!
**[17:22] ---**
Let's see... "And then
I threw a ball at him"--
**[17:25] ---**
Don't read it!
**[17:27] ---**
About *The Ronaldo Chronicles*--
**[17:29] ---**
I must say, you haven't done nearly
enough research about vampires.
**[17:33] ---**
Especially how you depict Draluc!
**[17:35] ---**
You should write more
details about my son.
**[17:37] ---**
I want to punch him so hard...
**[17:39] ---**
I brought this because
I thought it could help you.
**[17:42] ---**
Draluc's photo album,
with pictures by Daddy!
**[17:44] ---**
Take that home!
**[17:46] ---**
Why do you have a photo album?!
You guys don't show up in pictures, right?
**[17:49] ---**
We do if we try hard with a nice camera.
**[17:52] ---**
My son was so cute when he was young...
**[17:55] ---**
Because he was weak, I worried a lot,
**[17:58] ---**
but 200 years ago, we were much more
at odds with humans than we are now.
**[18:04] ---**
I swore that I would protect
that frail child until the end.
**[18:09] ---**
"Draluc's Birthday"
Well, cameras weren't
invented yet 200 years ago,
**[18:11] ---**
"Draluc's Birthday"
so I don't haven't any pictures
of him from back then, though!
**[18:14] ---**
"Draluc's Birthday"
Then don't show these to me!
**[18:16] ---**
Also, here's my autobiography!
Please use it as a reference.
**[18:19] ---**
If you insist, I can also
make an appearan--
**[18:23] ---**
Ow...
**[18:24] ---**
It messes up my rhythm when you don't die.
**[18:25] ---**
You didn't have to say it
like that, you stripling!
**[18:28] ---**
Anyway, what, are you saying that
you often cause Draluc to die?!
**[18:32] ---**
Shut up! He dies on his own all the time!
**[18:35] ---**
He's harder to keep alive
than a festival goldfish!
**[18:39] ---**
John, are you all right?
Is that bastard doing mean things to you?
**[18:43] ---**
What the hell? I would never
do anything like that to John!
**[18:49] ---**
J-John...!
**[18:51] ---**
John's eyes look sad... What did you do?!
**[18:54] ---**
Shut up! That was--
I'm really sorry about that!
**[18:57] ---**
I won't allow it anymore! I can't let
Draluc stay with the likes of you!
**[19:01] ---**
I'm taking him home!
**[19:02] ---**
Yeah, take him! It'll be a relief
to be rid of that pain in the ass...
**[19:08] ---**
Your teamwork with that
vampire was well-received.
**[19:11] ---**
Let's make it a focal point for
*The Ronaldo Chronicles* from now on.
**[19:13] ---**
I'm looking forward to it.
**[19:15] ---**
Wait, we should ask Draluc
about what he wants to do first.
**[19:19] ---**
Huh? Oh, right...
**[19:21] ---**
But Draluc hasn't come home yet
and isn't answering his phone.
**[19:25] ---**
Could he have been kidnapped?!
**[19:27] ---**
Let him leave the nest already, old man!
**[19:29] ---**
Quiet! Anything could happen
to a child so cute--
**[19:31] ---**
Excuse me.
**[19:34] ---**
Sorry, we're not open today...
**[19:36] ---**
Hello! Wanna trade adult DVDs?
**[19:44] ---**
Look, Draluc's back.
**[19:45] ---**
Father. I love this town.
**[19:48] ---**
You can't trick me with that!
**[19:50] ---**
Stop messing around!
I'm going to look for Draluc!
**[19:52] ---**
Hey, wait up! Fine, I'll go, too!
**[19:55] ---**
Not here...
**[19:57] ---**
I guess we'll have to search the
places where that idiot might go.
**[20:02] ---**
Draluc? I haven't seen him today.
**[20:05] ---**
Tell him I want him to make
me pudding next time!
**[20:07] ---**
Draluc? I haven't seen him...
Maybe he's at the guild?
**[20:11] ---**
Huh? His dad? Oh, hello...
**[20:14] ---**
He has not been here.
**[20:16] ---**
Oh, his hot milk tab is growing.
**[20:18] ---**
Please tell him to stop calling me
"Mr. Hairy Girl Fetish."
**[20:22] ---**
I-I will.
**[20:24] ---**
Draluc? I have not seen him tonight.
**[20:27] ---**
Did you get into a fight?
**[20:30] ---**
Idiot, Ronaldo! I heard you
were looking for Draluc!
**[20:33] ---**
Hey, wait! Don't ignore me!
**[20:35] ---**
Hey!
**[20:37] ---**
Damn it, where did that idiot go?
**[20:41] ---**
Draluc, I came to play with you! Draluc!
**[20:45] ---**
Are you bored in this
castle all by yourself?
**[20:47] ---**
I'm fine. I have John and
my pile of games to play.
**[20:52] ---**
You don't have to worry about me.
**[20:54] ---**
With just me and John,
it's relaxing, and I don't die.
**[21:00] ---**
I've decided not to bring him home.
**[21:03] ---**
That child is having fun in this town.
**[21:07] ---**
Ronaldo.
**[21:09] ---**
It appears my son met a good human.
**[21:13] ---**
Oh, there he is!
**[21:15] ---**
We went to your office,
but you weren't there!
**[21:16] ---**
We've been looking for you, Ronaldo!
**[21:18] ---**
Oh, sorry. Where's Lord Dral?
**[21:22] ---**
He's turned into super shiny mud balls!
**[21:25] ---**
Peace, peace! I'm shining like jewels!
**[21:32] ---**
Dra--!
**[21:33] ---**
Oh, shut up, damn it!
**[21:41] ---**
That reminds me, how's the *Ronaldo
Chronicles* manuscript going?
**[21:44] ---**
I lost motivation thanks to you guys.
**[21:46] ---**
John, let me have a turn at the turntable.
**[21:55] ---**
"Mania"
**[21:58] ---**
"Mania"
"Fanciful notions"
**[21:59] ---**
We'll settle this before dawn!
**[22:02] ---**
John! We'll definitely save you!
**[22:06] ---**
The vampire dies in no time.
# E8 - Kidnap Capriccio
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/G7PU4Z945/kidnap-capriccio)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:05] ---**
All right! I finally turned
into a decent bat.
**[00:09] ---**
I'll show John and Ronaldo right awa--
Oh, yeah, they went shopping...
**[00:14] ---**
John, I'll buy you some donuts!
**[00:18] ---**
I guess I'll have to go find them, then.
**[00:28] ---**
I'm so tired...
**[00:38] ---**
All right! I could open
the window, at least.
**[00:41] ---**
In this form, even everyday
movements are hard.
**[00:44] ---**
Oh, well. To the outside world--
**[00:47] ---**
Let's...!
**[02:25] ---**
"The Bat's Close Call"
**[02:30] ---**
My adventure's about to end here!
**[02:33] ---**
Whoa! Why are all these
pigeons gathered here?
**[02:39] ---**
Are you all right? Were you attacked?
**[02:42] ---**
You saved me, Hinaichi--
**[02:45] ---**
S-So cute! Oh, my! You're so cute!
**[02:50] ---**
You're so calm.
Are you used to people?
**[02:53] ---**
You're so cute!
**[02:55] ---**
Wait, does she not realize it's me?
**[02:58] ---**
Hmm, is this...
**[03:01] ---**
Come on, it's time to eat.
**[03:03] ---**
...my big chance to be fawned over
and also get some blood?
**[03:08] ---**
Let's go together.
Come ride in here for a bit.
**[03:13] ---**
Wow, you're so bold to put me
next to your chest, Hinaichi!
**[03:19] ---**
When she starts walking, I have
to brace myself or I'll slide down!
**[03:24] ---**
I shouldn't go any deeper
into a girl's clothes.
**[03:27] ---**
It's not gentlemanly.
**[03:29] ---**
We're almost there.
**[03:31] ---**
Oh, I wonder what
Hinaichi's house is like...
**[03:37] ---**
"Shin-Yokohama Police Station"
**[03:37] ---**
"Shin-Yokohama Police Station"
Just in case, I'll have Handa
check if it's a vampire.
**[03:41] ---**
No, no, please wait. Why do you have
to do your job properly right now?
**[03:45] ---**
Where's the usual cookie monster?
**[03:48] ---**
I mean, this is the position
we're in right now!
**[03:51] ---**
"Vampire Control Division"
If my identity is revealed right now,
she'll never talk to me again!
**[03:53] ---**
If my identity is revealed right now,
she'll never talk to me again!
**[03:54] ---**
Or rather, my body will definitely be made
into one she can never talk to again!
**[03:57] ---**
Come on, don't struggle.
Handa will look at you right away--
**[04:00] ---**
Oh, Vice-Captain! You have a pet?
**[04:05] ---**
Sorry to ruin your good mood,
but that guy's not a normal bat!
**[04:11] ---**
This guy's--
**[04:14] ---**
Wait, Handa. It's me! Draluc!
I got lost! I can't let Hinaichi find out!
**[04:20] ---**
Please gloss over this somehow!
**[04:22] ---**
Hey, if it's not a normal bat,
then what is it?
**[04:24] ---**
What's the matter?
**[04:27] ---**
This guy's... um, uh... A crab.
**[04:33] ---**
A crab?! He's obviously a bat!
**[04:35] ---**
I-It's crab skilled at mimicry!
**[04:38] ---**
What are you saying? There's no way that's
a crab. Are you trying to trick her?
**[04:40] ---**
"Kanagawa Prefectural Police
Vampire Control Division - Sagyo"
What are you saying? There's no way that's
a crab. Are you trying to trick her?
**[04:44] ---**
There's no way I'd lie, Sagyo!
**[04:46] ---**
My mom has always told me
that lying is bad!
**[04:50] ---**
Sorry, Handa.
You're too terrible at lying.
**[04:52] ---**
This is a crab!
Common name: Bat-like crab!
**[04:53] ---**
"Infraorder: Anomura"
"Scientific name: Dokkaramitemo-Draluc"
This is a crab!
Common name: Bat-like crab!
**[04:55] ---**
"Infraorder: Anomura"
"Scientific name: Dokkaramitemo-Draluc"
Normally found in the Kanto region!
**[04:57] ---**
In the same family as the coconut crab,
it's technically a type of hermit crab,
**[05:00] ---**
--but it's still a crab!
**[05:00] ---**
--So stubborn!
--but it's still a crab!
**[05:02] ---**
Is it really a crab,
even though it's so cute?
**[05:04] ---**
Are you discriminating
against crabs, Vice-Captain?!
**[05:06] ---**
What's wrong with a cute crab?
**[05:07] ---**
No, it's not a matter of whether
it's cute or not! It's not a crab--
**[05:11] ---**
If I say it's a crab, then it's a crab!
**[05:13] ---**
Look carefully!
**[05:15] ---**
C-Crab...!
**[05:16] ---**
Crabs don't make that sound!
**[05:19] ---**
I agree. Sorry.
**[05:21] ---**
Idiot! They'll make whatever
sound they make!
**[05:23] ---**
"Crab" is the sound they
make during courtship.
**[05:29] ---**
C-Crab!
**[05:31] ---**
A courtship display!
It looks like he likes you.
**[05:35] ---**
What in the world am I doing?
**[05:37] ---**
--Hey.
--Sand!
**[05:39] ---**
Have you seen my fake mustache?
**[05:41] ---**
Please don't come out
suddenly like that, Captain.
**[05:43] ---**
You lost your mustache again?
**[05:45] ---**
It doesn't look good on you, you know.
**[05:47] ---**
Be quiet. What are you all doing?
**[05:50] ---**
What are we doing...?
**[05:52] ---**
Sand...
**[05:53] ---**
Just now I saw something that
looked like ashes! That must be--
**[05:56] ---**
Idiot! These are eggs!
**[05:58] ---**
You made a move on it, so it laid eggs!
**[06:00] ---**
You should take responsibility as a man!
**[06:02] ---**
There's no way I'd make a move on a crab!
**[06:04] ---**
Anyway, that's not a crab!
**[06:07] ---**
The crab turned into something gross!
**[06:10] ---**
My Little Snort--
**[06:12] ---**
When did you give him
such a terrible name?
**[06:14] ---**
It's because of that sound it was making.
**[06:20] ---**
Fool! This is a crab!
It's a crab larva!
**[06:26] ---**
"Egg"
It hatched from the eggs earlier!
**[06:27] ---**
"Larva (Zoea)"
It hatched from the eggs earlier!
**[06:28] ---**
"Larva (Megalopa)"
It hatched from the eggs earlier!
**[06:28] ---**
"Larva (Megalopa)"
Stop talking about crabs!
**[06:29] ---**
"Adult"
Stop talking about crabs!
**[06:30] ---**
What about Little Snort?
What happened to him?
**[06:33] ---**
It's... well... When crabs breed,
everything's passed on to one child,
**[06:36] ---**
so once the child is born,
it's the parents' fate to die.
**[06:39] ---**
You don't even know what you're
talking about yourself, do you?
**[06:42] ---**
--Ga-goo!
**[06:43] ---**
--Shut up!
--Ga-goo!
**[06:44] ---**
What do you mean, "Shut up"?!
You're the one that created him! Admit it!
**[06:48] ---**
You all need to cut it out!
**[06:50] ---**
Stop teasing me! He looks harmless,
but he's a vampire, isn't he?
**[06:55] ---**
You have to get him checked out.
**[06:57] ---**
Yeah!
**[06:59] ---**
I'll take care of it.
**[07:00] ---**
Did you find your moustache?
**[07:03] ---**
Yeah.
**[07:07] ---**
What was that, anyway?
What were you hiding?
**[07:12] ---**
Wait, he's got like a
developmental fever...
**[07:15] ---**
You're Draluc from Hunter
Ronaldo's place, right?
**[07:19] ---**
Y-Yes, I am!
**[07:21] ---**
I knew it. Why were you pretending
to be a crab looking like that?
**[07:25] ---**
I wonder...
**[07:28] ---**
How did you know who I was?
**[07:31] ---**
Because I know there's a strange vampire
at Ronaldo's who is bad at transforming,
**[07:35] ---**
likes video games, and dies in no time!
**[07:37] ---**
I read it in a book.
**[07:43] ---**
Captain! I'll take Little Snort afte--
**[07:45] ---**
Sand!
**[07:52] ---**
Crab...
**[07:56] ---**
"Super-Fast Ultra Mach Speed Delivery"
"Sand"
"COD"
COD?!
**[07:58] ---**
"Super-Fast Ultra Mach Speed Delivery"
"Sand"
"COD"
**[08:02] ---**
A lot happened...
**[08:03] ---**
Oh, but first! I can turn into a bat now!
**[08:08] ---**
Look, look! See?
**[08:11] ---**
Here we go.
**[08:13] ---**
Hey, look...
**[08:18] ---**
I need to take out the trash.
**[08:21] ---**
lt's been three days since
the first child went missing.
**[08:22] ---**
"Kidnap Capriccio"
It's been three days since
the first child went missing.
**[08:25] ---**
"Kidnap Capriccio"
According to the police statement,
**[08:26] ---**
--it is highly likely that it is
the work of the same culprit,
**[08:27] ---**
--I see. The kidnapper hasn't
made any demands?
--it is highly likely that it is
the work of the same culprit,
**[08:30] ---**
so they have set up an investigation HQ
to look for the missing children.
**[08:34] ---**
Yeah, it's likely the work of a vampire.
Vamp Control should be brought in, too.
**[08:39] ---**
Bye.
**[08:41] ---**
Morning, John!
**[08:43] ---**
"Shin-Yokohama Neighborhood
Futsal Tournament"
**[08:44] ---**
"Shin-Yokohama Neighborhood
Futsal Tournament"
Hm?
**[08:50] ---**
What should we do?
I'm worried about you going alone.
**[08:59] ---**
Then, take this personal alarm with you.
If anything happens, pull the string.
**[09:05] ---**
It's dangerous out there,
so make sure you're home by five.
**[09:24] ---**
"John Fan Club"
"'Madillo Life"
John!
**[09:25] ---**
"John Fan Club"
"'Madillo Life"
Good job!
**[09:26] ---**
"John Fan Club"
"'Madillo Life"
So cute!
**[09:31] ---**
Bye, Nu!
**[09:48] ---**
It's dangerous out there,
so make sure you're home by five.
**[09:52] ---**
"It's okay if you're a little late."
**[09:56] ---**
"Buy some for everyone and then go home."
**[10:02] ---**
"Shin-Yokohama Police Station"
**[10:04] ---**
"Shin-Yokohama Police Station"
Here's a summary of the situation.
**[10:06] ---**
"Shin-Yokohama Serial Child Kidnappings"
"Joint Investigation HQ"
The boys went missing in different places,
but they were all around the same time.
**[10:10] ---**
The boys went missing in different places,
but they were all around the same time.
**[10:12] ---**
They all went missing
right after the sun set.
**[10:15] ---**
It's highly likely that the
kidnapper is a vampire.
**[10:19] ---**
In other words, it's *our* job.
**[10:21] ---**
Yes, sir!
**[10:22] ---**
Vampires can't go out during the day.
**[10:25] ---**
Thinking about the kids, we need
to find the kidnapper tonight.
**[10:29] ---**
Let's form teams. We'll split up
and search all of Shin-Yokohama.
**[10:33] ---**
Mixed Vamp Control and hunter teams, huh?
**[10:35] ---**
I'm itching to get out there.
**[10:37] ---**
Vice-Captain, I'll focus my investigation
on the areas where the kids were taken.
**[10:41] ---**
Yeah, we're counting on your power now.
**[10:44] ---**
If you smell any vampires,
let us know immediately.
**[10:48] ---**
You're home already, right, John?
**[10:56] ---**
Yes? Ronaldo? What is it?
**[10:59] ---**
John? I just woke up...
**[11:04] ---**
It looks like he's not home yet.
**[11:06] ---**
Kidnapped? No way. He's probably
just loitering somewhere.
**[11:10] ---**
You're not worried about John?!
That's so inhumane!
**[11:18] ---**
"Unknown Number"
**[11:20] ---**
I'm getting a phone call. Wait a minute.
**[11:22] ---**
Yes, this is Draluc.
**[11:25] ---**
Oh, John?
**[11:26] ---**
"I'm sorry!"
**[11:28] ---**
"I'll be late getting home."
**[11:30] ---**
Did John come home?! Is he okay?!
He hasn't met anyone weird?!
**[11:34] ---**
John! John! John...!
**[11:36] ---**
Shut up!
**[11:37] ---**
--John! John! John!
--Sorry, John. What did you say?
**[11:40] ---**
"I'm sorry."
**[11:42] ---**
"Help--!"
**[11:46] ---**
Okay, thanks for waiting! Three bean jam
filled pancakes for Madillo.
**[11:54] ---**
John might've been kidnapped.
**[11:57] ---**
Jo-Jo-Jo-Jo-John was kidnapped...?!
**[12:00] ---**
What?! You huge, huge idiot!
**[12:04] ---**
Vice-Captain! It's probably
the same culprit!
**[12:07] ---**
Yeah, tell the prefectural police
that there's been another victim.
**[12:11] ---**
Ask the public if they
have any information!
**[12:13] ---**
Yes, ma'am!
**[12:14] ---**
What did you say? John was kidnapped?!
**[12:17] ---**
We should help, too!
**[12:19] ---**
"John Fan Club"
"'Madillo Life"
**[12:20] ---**
"John Fan Club"
"'Madillo Life"
John was kidnapped?!
**[12:21] ---**
"John Fan Club"
"'Madillo Life"
Our John?!
**[12:23] ---**
"John Fan Club"
"'Madillo Life"
John!
**[12:24] ---**
"John Fan Club"
"'Madillo Life"
Who are you people?!
**[12:31] ---**
"Bean Jam Filled Pancakes"
That looks good.
**[12:32] ---**
"Bean Jam Filled Pancakes"
Good job, John.
**[12:36] ---**
We are looking for the whereabouts
of the armadillo, John.
**[12:39] ---**
John is round and says "nu."
**[12:39] ---**
"Shin-Yokohama Kamone Vision"
"Missing"
John is round and says "nu."
**[12:42] ---**
"Shin-Yokohama Kamone Vision"
"Missing"
If you have any information, please
contact the joint investigation HQ.
**[12:46] ---**
"Shin-Yokohama Kamone Vision"
"Missing"
He's round and saying "nu"!
**[12:47] ---**
If we catch him, won't we get a reward?
**[12:50] ---**
Hey, wait!
**[12:56] ---**
Shoot, that armadillo's fast!
**[13:21] ---**
"Old-Man-Legs Ostriches"
**[13:46] ---**
Next stop, Tokyo.
**[13:52] ---**
Tokyo, Tokyo.
**[14:02] ---**
Next stop, Nagoya. Nagoya.
**[14:06] ---**
"Hakata-bound mach-speed Nozomi"
**[14:19] ---**
John!
**[14:21] ---**
John! Where are you, John?!
**[14:24] ---**
"Sweet Rice Jelly"
**[14:28] ---**
John!
**[14:40] ---**
Did you find him, Ronaldo?
**[14:41] ---**
No, I can't find him anywhere.
Damn it, where did you go, John?
**[14:45] ---**
John!
**[14:47] ---**
John!
**[14:49] ---**
John!
**[14:52] ---**
John...!
**[14:57] ---**
"Bean Jam Filled Pancakes"
**[15:02] ---**
"Kidnap Elegy"
**[15:07] ---**
Whoops.
**[15:08] ---**
Don't do anything stupid.
**[15:12] ---**
Foolish-looking thing.
You're Hunter Ronaldo's pet, aren't you?
**[15:16] ---**
Those damn hunters.
How dare they break my spirit effigy.
**[15:21] ---**
Thanks to them, I've lost my immortality.
**[15:25] ---**
I'll definitely pay you back
for the humiliation!
**[15:28] ---**
I'll slash you all to shreds!
**[15:33] ---**
First, I'll use you as bait
to lure Ronaldo out.
**[15:37] ---**
If there's not a crowd of them,
hunters are nothing to fear.
**[15:40] ---**
Kidnapper, I'll get you!
**[15:42] ---**
John, where are you?
**[15:44] ---**
If this is the same as the kidnapper
in the missing children case,
**[15:47] ---**
then they might be around here.
**[15:48] ---**
All right, call Handa.
We'll have him investigate this area.
**[15:53] ---**
John, we'll definitely save you!
**[15:57] ---**
Guys, let's settle this before dawn!
**[16:01] ---**
Huh? It's only been about two minutes
since I kidnapped Ronaldo's armadillo,
**[16:03] ---**
and there's already such a
huge net being cast for him?
**[16:07] ---**
Is this guy the prime
minister or something?
**[16:11] ---**
I'm not someone to falter
at some mere hunters.
**[16:13] ---**
You can just waste your energy
looking around for him.
**[16:16] ---**
What do you think you're doing,
you round thing?!
**[16:19] ---**
Wh-What if those guys gather here?
You trying to get me killed?!
**[16:23] ---**
Don't think you can get on my
good side with sweet rice jelly!
**[16:26] ---**
Who's there? I heard
a voice over that way!
**[16:30] ---**
Damn it, I can't believe I'm sneaking
around because of mere hunters.
**[16:35] ---**
Be quiet! What does "nu"
even mean, anyway?!
**[16:39] ---**
Wait, if this is such
an important armadillo,
**[16:42] ---**
then I can use him as a hostage for
someone other than Ronaldo, too.
**[16:47] ---**
I'll cut those who don't resist
to my heart's content...
**[16:50] ---**
Hey! Where are you, kidnapper?!
**[16:54] ---**
Was something there, Senya?!
**[16:55] ---**
No. I thought I heard something, though...
**[16:59] ---**
Jeez! I can't believe someone
would kidnap John and those kids!
**[17:03] ---**
I'll break the balls...
of anyone that cowardly!
**[17:09] ---**
B-Break balls...?
**[17:17] ---**
D-Don't look at me like that.
**[17:20] ---**
I'll slash you, armadillo.
Who do you think I am?
**[17:24] ---**
I'm Tsujigiri Nagiri.
You don't know who I am?
**[17:27] ---**
Then find out! Watch TV or something!
**[17:29] ---**
Don't underestimate me!
The only problem is their numbers.
**[17:32] ---**
I'll disappear into the crowd
and pick them off one by one--
**[17:33] ---**
"Vamima!!!"
I'll disappear into the crowd
and pick them off one by one--
**[17:35] ---**
"Vamima!!!"
**[17:37] ---**
Found him!
It's the kidnapper!
**[17:40] ---**
Everyone, come here!
Someone suspicious has John!
**[17:48] ---**
Damn it, I let my guard down.
At this rate, I'll be trapped like a rat.
**[17:52] ---**
"Pride" "Safety"
Since it's come to this... I'll leave
the armadillo somewhere and run away.
**[17:58] ---**
Don't try to console me.
**[18:02] ---**
I shouldn't have kidnapped
this round thing.
**[18:05] ---**
Don't forget... The next time we meet--
**[18:10] ---**
An inferior vampire!
**[18:10] ---**
"Inferior Vampire - Hidden Spider Monster"
An inferior vampire!
**[18:16] ---**
Speaking of which, the searchers
said something weird...
**[18:19] ---**
If this is the same as the kidnapper
in the missing children case,
**[18:22] ---**
then they might be around here.
**[18:24] ---**
Was that the child kidnapper?
**[18:27] ---**
Good riddance, anyway.
If I just let things be--
**[18:33] ---**
If I don't do anything, I won't
be able to return the armadillo,
**[18:36] ---**
and I'll be trapped like a rat.
**[18:37] ---**
Worst case, I'll even have the other
kidnappings pinned on me and be killed.
**[18:42] ---**
Huh? It looks like
I'm in a terrible pinch.
**[19:41] ---**
Found you, you worm!
**[19:47] ---**
Die!
**[19:52] ---**
Damn it, I can't believe
**[19:55] ---**
that I, Tsujigiri Nagiri, acted like
a hunter in order to protect myself.
**[20:00] ---**
Damn it!
**[20:04] ---**
Listen! It was to deceive the hunters!
It wasn't to save you!
**[20:11] ---**
If you tell anyone about this,
I'll turn you into mincemeat, armadillo!
**[20:17] ---**
It looks like a suspicious
man came this way.
**[20:19] ---**
It must be the culprit!
**[20:22] ---**
They already sniffed me out?
**[20:25] ---**
I'm not about to get caught...!
**[20:32] ---**
What, armadillo? Let me go!
**[20:46] ---**
John! John...!
**[20:51] ---**
John...
**[20:51] ---**
John!
**[20:53] ---**
I'm sorry. It was scary, wasn't it?
**[21:08] ---**
I see, you bought bean
jam pancakes for us.
**[21:13] ---**
Huh? Only two?
**[21:16] ---**
Too bad. Looks like there's
not enough for you, Ronaldo.
**[21:19] ---**
John bought them for *me*!
Idiot! Right, John?
**[21:23] ---**
It can't be helped.
I'll just give you the outside!
**[21:26] ---**
Oh, thanks--
**[21:34] ---**
Damn it, it's cold.
**[21:42] ---**
"The barrier cannot be broken
until everything is lost."
**[21:49] ---**
"Gain control"
**[21:52] ---**
"Or die"
**[21:53] ---**
Sleazebag! Open this!
**[21:58] ---**
Damn it! Maria!
**[22:06] ---**
The vampire dies in no time.
# E9 - Citizen Baseball Kane
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GX9UQG0Q7/citizen-baseball-kane)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:04] ---**
What would you like?
**[00:05] ---**
Hot milk. Put it on Ronaldo's tab.
**[00:08] ---**
Don't order without asking, moron!
**[00:10] ---**
Oh, a cocoa for John.
**[00:14] ---**
Sorry for bringing that idiot here.
**[00:17] ---**
It's fine. I have fun talking about
cooking with Draluc.
**[00:22] ---**
There's nothing wrong
with bringing him here.
**[00:24] ---**
Draluc's a good guy to talk to.
**[00:26] ---**
"Hunter [Extra-Toppings
Chinese Food Girl] - Ta Chan"
"Hunter - Maria"
Yeah, this guy's interesting.
**[00:28] ---**
"Hunter [Extra-Toppings
Chinese Food Girl] - Ta Chan"
"Hunter - Maria"
You've got a small anus, Ronaldo.
**[00:30] ---**
Huh?!
**[00:37] ---**
I'm against violence!
**[00:38] ---**
A vampire!
**[00:41] ---**
Someone call a hunter!
**[02:16] ---**
"Citizen Baseball Kane"
**[02:17] ---**
"Citizen Baseball Kane"
They're bold to come out
right in front of the guild.
**[02:20] ---**
"Citizen Baseball Kane"
What kind of vampire?
**[02:23] ---**
"Baseball Strip Rock-Paper-Scissors"
"Yakyuken"
**[02:23] ---**
"Baseball Strip Rock-Paper-Scissors"
"Yakyuken"
"Vampire - Yakyuken Lover"
I am the vampire, Yakyuken Lover.
**[02:27] ---**
"Baseball Strip Rock-Paper-Scissors"
"Yakyuken"
Someone weird came out!
**[02:29] ---**
*Yakyuken* is a cultural tradition of
this planet that should be protected.
**[02:33] ---**
It's a game with broad appeal
that anyone can play.
**[02:36] ---**
Undressing can increase intimacy
in interpersonal relationship!
**[02:40] ---**
I will pass this game of strip rock-paper-
scissors on to the next generation!
**[02:49] ---**
Are all vampires like this?
**[02:51] ---**
When you live for too long,
sometimes your brains turn to punch.
**[02:55] ---**
Now, let's go!
**[02:56] ---**
What?!
**[02:57] ---**
Out! Safe!
**[02:59] ---**
♪ *Yoyoinoyoi!* ♪
**[03:01] ---**
Don't be drawn in, Satetsu!
**[03:04] ---**
Does my hairband count
as a piece of clothing?
**[03:06] ---**
There's a limit to how much of
a pushover you can be, idiot!
**[03:08] ---**
Th-That's not it...
When I hear that song--
**[03:11] ---**
♪ *Yoyoinoyoi!* ♪
**[03:13] ---**
My body just starts playing
*yakyuken* on its own...
**[03:15] ---**
Your body's playing *yakyuken* on its own?!
**[03:17] ---**
Does he use hypnosis or something?
**[03:19] ---**
Bastard....
**[03:21] ---**
How dare you make Satetsu half-naked!
**[03:28] ---**
My Yakyuken Barrier will not allow
any boorish person to pass.
**[03:32] ---**
While I'm playing *yakyuken*,
no one can get in my way!
**[03:37] ---**
Wh-What?!
**[03:39] ---**
He's using hypnosis and holding
a barrier at the same time!
**[03:41] ---**
That takes a lot of skill!
**[03:43] ---**
He could have put that
skill to a different use!
**[03:45] ---**
While we were talking,
Satetsu's been cleaned out!
**[03:48] ---**
You're too weak at rock-paper-scissors.
**[03:51] ---**
Even if you lost, you are a comrade
who played *yakyuken* with me.
**[03:54] ---**
"*Yakyuken* Lover"
**[03:55] ---**
"*Yakyuken* Lover"
You should wear this T-shirt.
**[03:56] ---**
"*Yakyuken* Lover"
No way...!
**[04:01] ---**
Okay, second match!
**[04:03] ---**
Huh? Me?!
**[04:04] ---**
Out! Safe!
**[04:05] ---**
♪ *Yoyoinoyoi!* ♪
**[04:07] ---**
Tie! One more time!
**[04:09] ---**
The barrier opens for an instant
to pull in the next player.
**[04:12] ---**
If we strike then...
**[04:14] ---**
It's impossible. There's not enough time.
**[04:17] ---**
A serious conversation with *yakyuken*
in the background is kind of surreal.
**[04:20] ---**
♪ *Yoyoinoyoi!* ♪
**[04:21] ---**
Damn it! Someone stop this...!
**[04:24] ---**
This is great, kid! Strip, strip!
**[04:26] ---**
You've got a nice body!
**[04:28] ---**
We've got spectators!
**[04:30] ---**
Get your popcorn and drinks here.
**[04:32] ---**
Master!
**[04:34] ---**
The hunters are all male...
**[04:36] ---**
That's borin-- I mean, gender inequality!
**[04:40] ---**
The young lady over there!
Learn about how wonderful *yakyuken* is!
**[04:44] ---**
Out! Safe!
**[04:45] ---**
♪ *Yoyoinoyoi!* ♪
**[04:47] ---**
What?!
**[04:49] ---**
Like I'd let a woman do this.
Even a *zhajiang* horse like you...
**[04:54] ---**
Ta Chan went home.
**[04:56] ---**
She said she wasn't going
to stick around anymore.
**[05:00] ---**
What's with the "protect culture" crap?
You're obviously doing this for the girls!
**[05:03] ---**
For the girls? What an insult.
I do not have any wicked feelings!
**[05:09] ---**
Both men and women should bear
responsibility for culture together.
**[05:12] ---**
That's the true beauty of *yakyuken*!
**[05:14] ---**
Liar!
**[05:15] ---**
Why are you acting so high and mighty
saying something so serious?!
**[05:18] ---**
*Yakyuken* isn't actually a stripping game!
**[05:21] ---**
Shut up, idiot!
**[05:22] ---**
You bastard!
**[05:24] ---**
I can't let this sleazebag
do whatever he wants!
**[05:27] ---**
Oh, right.
**[05:28] ---**
Wouldn't someone with no shame about
stripping be the guy's natural enemy?
**[05:32] ---**
So that's why I asked you
to come here, Nudenium!
**[05:36] ---**
You can do it!
**[05:37] ---**
Go!
**[05:40] ---**
Foolish compatriot, I do not flinch at
the thought of removing my clothes.
**[05:46] ---**
For people like that, I have them put
*on* clothes instead when they lose.
**[05:49] ---**
No...!
**[05:51] ---**
I have been soiled...
**[05:53] ---**
You're useless!
**[05:55] ---**
In that case, someone will have to be bait
and make an opening in that barrier!
**[05:59] ---**
Will you rush in baring all, then?
**[06:02] ---**
Here, it's a Draluc Shield!
**[06:04] ---**
No...! You brute!
**[06:08] ---**
♪ *Yoyoino--* ♪
**[06:08] ---**
John Guard!
**[06:14] ---**
You don't have any clothes,
so I'll scrape some off instead.
**[06:16] ---**
John...!
**[06:20] ---**
Bastard, how dare you do that to my John!
**[06:22] ---**
Fight me, you scumbag!
**[06:24] ---**
Very well. Someone like you
is just a *yoyoinoyoi*.
**[06:29] ---**
Don't worry, John. I have a plan.
**[06:32] ---**
With this amazing hand,
any opponent will lose in a heartbeat!
**[06:32] ---**
"Rock"
With this amazing hand,
any opponent will lose in a heartbeat!
**[06:33] ---**
"Rock" "Scissors"
With this amazing hand,
any opponent will lose in a heartbeat!
**[06:34] ---**
"Rock" "Scissors" "Paper"
With this amazing hand,
any opponent will lose in a heartbeat!
**[06:35] ---**
Cheaters are removed from the field!
**[06:38] ---**
No! Sand...
**[06:41] ---**
Oh, that was a good show.
**[06:42] ---**
That washed out my soul.
**[06:46] ---**
Damn it.
**[06:47] ---**
How is he so strong
at rock-paper-scissors?
**[06:49] ---**
He's also wearing a ton of clothes!
**[06:52] ---**
--Stop messing around!
--That's dirty!
**[06:54] ---**
Looks hot.
**[06:56] ---**
All the men in the way
are wearing T-shirts.
**[06:59] ---**
Now, all that's left is--
**[07:01] ---**
The one with the big boobs!
**[07:03] ---**
♪ *Yoyoinoyoi!* ♪
**[07:08] ---**
You thought you won already, didn't you?
**[07:10] ---**
Don't worry, everyone!
I'll take this match.
**[07:14] ---**
If I take this off first,
there's nothing to fear later!
**[07:19] ---**
Maria!
**[07:21] ---**
Sand...!
**[07:22] ---**
Whoo-hoo! All right!
**[07:26] ---**
This sleazebag isn't even trying
to hide his thoughts anymore!
**[07:29] ---**
You're a brave woman.
But that's a foolish plan.
**[07:32] ---**
Because with the thought that
"there's nothing under there,"
**[07:36] ---**
it increases the sexiness of
tearing off "the last piece"
**[07:40] ---**
and just emphasizes it!
**[07:42] ---**
Wh-What...?!
**[07:44] ---**
♪ *Yoyoinoyoi! Yoyoinoyoi!* ♪
**[07:48] ---**
What's the matter?!
You're losing more and more clothes!
**[07:52] ---**
Maria!
**[07:53] ---**
You sleazeball!
**[07:54] ---**
Open up!
**[07:56] ---**
It's no use. The Yakyuken
Barrier is invincible!
**[07:59] ---**
It won't allow any meddling
from the outside.
**[08:02] ---**
Damn it...
**[08:03] ---**
No way... No way...!
**[08:06] ---**
In that case, the person inside
just has to beat him up, right?
**[08:28] ---**
Everyone, good work.
**[08:30] ---**
"Ba-dump! All-Male *Yakyuken* Tournament"
This was really popular with the middle-
aged girls, so the guild will sponsor--
**[08:35] ---**
"Ba-dump! All-Male *Yakyuken* Tournament"
Please don't!
**[08:41] ---**
"The Left Hand of Iron Is Kind of Boring"
**[09:02] ---**
A gun's not going to work.
**[09:03] ---**
What?!
**[09:04] ---**
I am the vampire, Passionate Kiss.
**[09:07] ---**
"Vampire - Passionate Kiss"
**[09:08] ---**
"Vampire - Passionate Kiss"
It's another weird one!
**[09:10] ---**
I kiss handsome men and then
suck their blood. It's what I love.
**[09:14] ---**
I have type AB blood. I'm a Virgo.
I like men that look like Masaki Okada.
**[09:18] ---**
I don't care, moron!
**[09:20] ---**
If you want to defeat me,
you must evade my rain of kisses!
**[09:28] ---**
It must be nice, Ronaldo.
**[09:30] ---**
You're popular and well-known.
**[09:34] ---**
I'm completely hopeless.
**[09:37] ---**
I'm always standing nervously
in the background.
**[09:40] ---**
I'm jealous of the mentality you have
to even write an autobiography...
**[09:44] ---**
Don't insult me while you're
inflicting damage on yourself.
**[09:46] ---**
Recently, you're even doing amazing
things like teaming up with a vampire!
**[09:50] ---**
I'm so jealous...
**[09:52] ---**
Fine, I'll let you have some.
**[09:56] ---**
Huh?
**[09:58] ---**
Hello, hello.
**[10:00] ---**
Thanks for requesting me for tonight.
I'm your 1-Day-Rental Draluc!
**[10:04] ---**
I heard that you wanted to do something
about how boring you are.
**[10:08] ---**
I, Draluc, will make you into
a whole new arm guy!
**[10:14] ---**
You can't go wrong with someone
full of personality like me!
**[10:18] ---**
Come!
**[10:21] ---**
O-Okay, then...
**[10:23] ---**
Such a pushover!
**[10:25] ---**
Now, to increase popularity
and make a better impression,
**[10:28] ---**
we'll start from your appearance.
**[10:30] ---**
What do you think? How about
trying Miss Senya's extreme style?
**[10:35] ---**
Oh... I don't really like
stuff like that... Sorry.
**[10:38] ---**
Even your response is boring.
**[10:40] ---**
Oh, if I'm going to change my
appearance, then maybe this arm?
**[10:44] ---**
I have different types
with different uses.
**[10:45] ---**
No, that's not something a
normal person could tell apart.
**[10:48] ---**
It's basically one type.
**[10:50] ---**
One type...
**[10:52] ---**
Sorry. Please do something other
than change my appearance.
**[10:55] ---**
Then, what about working on your PR?
**[10:58] ---**
I know a journalist hungry for leads.
**[11:00] ---**
Yeah! I'm Kameya from
*Vampire Hunter Weekly*!
**[11:04] ---**
I'll write an article that'll
knock off your butt hairs!
**[11:07] ---**
That's scary!
**[11:10] ---**
What jobs have you had recently?
**[11:12] ---**
Um...
**[11:14] ---**
I helped direct the spraying of
chemicals to ward off vampires
**[11:18] ---**
and removed a nest of inferior vampires...
**[11:20] ---**
And I went to a retirement home
to talk about fighting vampires...
**[11:24] ---**
Wow, it's like a record of
what they do at city hall.
**[11:27] ---**
Satetsu is kind, so he always takes
**[11:30] ---**
the behind-the-scenes jobs no one
wants because they aren't flashy.
**[11:33] ---**
Master...
**[11:34] ---**
I can give them all to him,
so it's super convenient.
**[11:36] ---**
Master?!
**[11:37] ---**
Now, now, if you take some
flashy jobs from now on,
**[11:40] ---**
--lots more people will know who you are!
**[11:42] ---**
--Yes, this is the Hunters Guild.
--lots more people will know who you are!
**[11:45] ---**
A vampire has appeared.
**[11:46] ---**
Satetsu, will you take
the job to exterminate it?
**[11:49] ---**
Oh, yes!
**[11:51] ---**
Now, this is a windfall!
**[11:52] ---**
A jack of all trades will definitely
be able to show off here!
**[11:57] ---**
That's a lot of pressure...
**[12:07] ---**
"Inferior Vampires - Ghouls"
**[12:12] ---**
Wait, vampire!
**[12:16] ---**
It's a ghoul user?!
**[12:19] ---**
What are you trying to do
with all those underlings?
**[12:22] ---**
A hunter?
Isn't it obvious what I'm doing?
**[12:26] ---**
I'm breaching etiquette!
**[12:28] ---**
Etiquette...? Huh?
**[12:31] ---**
You don't get it?
**[12:32] ---**
Littering, walking in flower beds,
and pulling up parts of a lawn.
**[12:33] ---**
"Don't go into the flower bed!"
Littering, walking in flower beds,
and pulling up parts of a lawn.
**[12:35] ---**
Littering, walking in flower beds,
and pulling up parts of a lawn.
**[12:37] ---**
I do things like that.
**[12:39] ---**
Like that?
**[12:40] ---**
"Vampire - Etiquette Breacher"
I am the vampire, Etiquette Breacher!
**[12:44] ---**
There's no reason for a vampire
to follow humans' silly rules!
**[12:48] ---**
So, I'll break them all!
**[12:52] ---**
Go, my ghouls!
**[12:55] ---**
This guy's pretty weak.
**[12:58] ---**
Monopolize the playground equipment!
**[13:01] ---**
While you do that,
I'll fill the sandbox with water!
**[13:03] ---**
Oh, a flood!
**[13:05] ---**
Such boring crimes.
Doesn't it feel futile?
**[13:08] ---**
The client was an eyewitness who said
he was a bad influence on the kids
**[13:11] ---**
and asked for him to be taken elsewhere.
**[13:13] ---**
Nothing to be nervous about here, huh?
**[13:15] ---**
The arm guy might've been born
to take on boring, weak guys.
**[13:21] ---**
I'll leave an opened can
of juice on a bench!
**[13:24] ---**
Right where it'd spill if you
hit it with your elbow!
**[13:27] ---**
I wonder why that guy looks
like he's having so much fun.
**[13:31] ---**
Stop! Um... You're causing
trouble for other people.
**[13:36] ---**
Quiet! Vampire Pantsing!
**[13:42] ---**
How sloppy...
**[13:44] ---**
But you have succeeded
in standing out, in a way.
**[13:47] ---**
Arm guy, you've graduated
to Mr. Elephant Boxers.
**[13:50] ---**
My name...
**[13:52] ---**
I'm not afraid of you hunters!
**[13:54] ---**
Why does this guy look so triumphant
just for pantsing someone?
**[13:57] ---**
And now, for the finishing
etiquette breach!
**[13:59] ---**
Click your tongue when you run into him!
**[14:02] ---**
Ow!
**[14:04] ---**
Sorry...
**[14:05] ---**
Mr. Elephant Boxers, hang in there!
**[14:07] ---**
A hunter can't do anything
against my ghouls!
**[14:10] ---**
Nothing can stop me now!
**[14:13] ---**
Look! I'm stealing toilet paper!
**[14:17] ---**
That's not breaching etiquette,
that's steali-- Sand...
**[14:21] ---**
Shut up! Vampire Gravel Throwing!
**[14:24] ---**
Oh, I-I'm getting mixed up!
**[14:27] ---**
That's enough. Stop that!
**[14:30] ---**
Shut up! Go play with
the ghouls over there!
**[14:36] ---**
Damn, you're loud, too!
Get out of the way!
**[14:41] ---**
Bastard! That's my John--
**[14:44] ---**
I told you to stop that...
**[14:47] ---**
...you idiot!
**[14:51] ---**
Huh?
**[14:55] ---**
How dare you hit a child in front of me!
**[14:59] ---**
Just you try that again.
**[15:02] ---**
This fist will split that dumb
head of yours in half!
**[15:10] ---**
Um... Mr. Satetsu...?
**[15:13] ---**
Wh-What a feat...
**[15:15] ---**
Man, you scared m--
**[15:17] ---**
Please keep this a secret!
**[15:17] ---**
What?!
**[15:19] ---**
Oh, I did it again!
I acted like a delinquent again!
**[15:24] ---**
After I'd decided to turn
over a new leaf, too...
**[15:28] ---**
Um... I'm sorry, I have to do this.
**[15:32] ---**
Will you come with me?
**[15:34] ---**
Huh? Oh... yes...
**[15:40] ---**
Yeah, this guy was crazy before.
**[15:43] ---**
He's reformed and a hunter now,
but back in the day, he was really--
**[15:46] ---**
You promised to keep quiet about it!
**[15:51] ---**
"Vamp Weekly"
**[15:51] ---**
"Vamp Weekly"
Hey! I wrote an article about
what happened the other day!
**[15:55] ---**
I took out the delinquent
punch when I wrote it.
**[15:58] ---**
Oh, thank you.
**[16:00] ---**
Oh, that's nice.
Now, you'll be more popu--
**[16:03] ---**
"Elephant Boxers"
"Up Close with Hunter Satetsu"
**[16:08] ---**
This is what it means to be famous...
**[16:14] ---**
Congrats.
**[16:16] ---**
"Night Beach"
**[16:17] ---**
"Night Beach"
"Emperor of the Shore"
**[16:18] ---**
"Night Beach"
"Emperor of the Shore"
Is this it? The beach resort
with the report
**[16:21] ---**
"Night Beach"
"Emperor of the Shore"
where the owner of the beachside
clubhouse called saying,
**[16:22] ---**
"Something weird's here," and then
hasn't been able to be contacted since?
**[16:26] ---**
I hope there's not too much damage...
**[16:29] ---**
What kind of vampire?
I'm itching to fight them!
**[16:32] ---**
Let's focus and deal with this!
**[16:34] ---**
Let's look for shells and play, John.
**[16:41] ---**
Beach volleyball at night, huh?
**[16:44] ---**
Well, it doesn't look like there's
anything strange, though.
**[16:46] ---**
Maybe we got the place wrong...?
**[16:51] ---**
What?!
**[16:53] ---**
You all are wearing a lot of clothes!
**[16:55] ---**
Wear a micro bikini...!
**[16:57] ---**
Your body and mind will be
exhilarated like it's a holiday!
**[16:59] ---**
They've been hypnotized by a vampire!
**[17:02] ---**
Damn it, should we retreat for now?
**[17:04] ---**
I've been surrounded, wahh!
**[17:05] ---**
Idiot, why?!
**[17:07] ---**
Draluc, look out!
**[17:08] ---**
Arm guy!
**[17:10] ---**
Bikini!
**[17:18] ---**
M-Micro bikinis are nice...
**[17:20] ---**
Arm guy...!
**[17:23] ---**
Hunters are a trifle, too.
**[17:25] ---**
Who's there?!
**[17:28] ---**
"Vampire - Micro Bikini"
I am the vampire, Micro Bikini.
**[17:30] ---**
"Vampire - Micro Bikini"
I am the one who will rule
over all you humans.
**[17:33] ---**
*Another* weird one came out, damn it!
**[17:36] ---**
As you can see, the micro
bikinis are infectious.
**[17:39] ---**
My Micro Waves will soon cover the world!
**[17:43] ---**
I feel like "microwaves"
are something different!
**[17:45] ---**
Foolish hunters, you all should also
become members of this new world.
**[17:50] ---**
Wait, bastard!
**[17:52] ---**
Bikini... Bikini... Bikini...
Bikini... Bikini...
**[18:00] ---**
Hurry, Shot!
**[18:01] ---**
Put on a micro bikini!
**[18:05] ---**
Damn it, we've been
surrounded by micro bikinis.
**[18:08] ---**
We can't beat up civilians just
because they were brainwashed.
**[18:12] ---**
I'll be the bait.
Use that chance to run away.
**[18:17] ---**
Wh-What are you saying,
Shot? By yourself--
**[18:19] ---**
It's fine. Look.
**[18:22] ---**
Shot!
**[18:24] ---**
I carelessly got bitten.
It's pathetic...
**[18:28] ---**
I-I-It really is pathetic!
**[18:32] ---**
Hurry up and go! While I'm still myself!
**[18:35] ---**
Damn it! Shot, we'll get revenge for you!
**[18:40] ---**
Hey, aren't there *more*
bikinis on this side?
**[18:43] ---**
They look kind of like they're
having fun, and it's pissing me off!
**[18:46] ---**
Calm down!
**[18:48] ---**
If there are more bikinis here,
**[18:50] ---**
it means there's something here
that needs to be protected!
**[18:53] ---**
The boss is on the other side!
**[18:54] ---**
Even if you say that...
**[18:56] ---**
...how are we supposed
to get through them?
**[18:58] ---**
I have a plan.
Get their attention for a second.
**[19:02] ---**
Over here, sexy bathing suits!
**[19:05] ---**
In that opening, I'll run away!
**[19:06] ---**
Scumbag!
**[19:08] ---**
That guy's wearing more clothes!
**[19:09] ---**
I'm against clothes!
**[19:12] ---**
Sand!
**[19:14] ---**
Hey, this guy turned into sand.
**[19:16] ---**
Let's make him into a castle.
**[19:17] ---**
Wahh...!
**[19:19] ---**
Let's go while we can!
**[19:21] ---**
We'll be right back to save you, John!
**[19:23] ---**
Where's that damn pervert?!
**[19:26] ---**
Look! It's the beachside clubhouse!
**[19:28] ---**
Looks fishy!
**[19:30] ---**
"Beachside Clubhouse"
**[19:37] ---**
We've got you cornered, bikini bastard!
**[19:39] ---**
Oh? Good job getting this far.
But I won't be the one fighting you.
**[19:47] ---**
Shot! Satetsu!
**[19:49] ---**
Ronaldo, micro bikinis are nice...
**[19:52] ---**
Wake up, idiot!
**[19:54] ---**
If I wear this, I'm sure no one
will call me boring anymore...
**[19:57] ---**
I'll help you with that!
**[19:59] ---**
Now, you two will also
wear bikinis...! And then...
**[20:03] ---**
It looks bad on you!
**[20:04] ---**
Oh, Shot...
**[20:11] ---**
What am I doing...?
**[20:12] ---**
I see! If we take them off,
they'll come back to their senses!
**[20:14] ---**
What, is that guy a moron? It's so easy!
**[20:17] ---**
If we know that, then it'll be fast!
Hurry up and take them off!
**[20:20] ---**
No...!
**[20:22] ---**
The tables have turned.
There's no bikini to protect you now!
**[20:27] ---**
No more bikinis? Fool!
**[20:31] ---**
I just need to bite someone new.
**[20:34] ---**
Maria!
**[20:35] ---**
Now, you are one of my micro--
**[20:37] ---**
Did you...
**[20:39] ---**
...really think...
**[20:43] ---**
...I'd fit into this tiny piece of cloth?!
**[20:46] ---**
Wh-What?!
**[20:48] ---**
Now!
**[20:56] ---**
Bastard! Don't think this
is enough to thwart me!
**[21:00] ---**
I'll put you all in the
smallest bikinis there are--
**[21:16] ---**
No...!
**[21:18] ---**
The source of my power...!
**[21:23] ---**
Without that, I...
**[21:26] ---**
Glance.
**[21:27] ---**
Someone, pick--
**[21:35] ---**
Sorry, I let my guard down.
**[21:38] ---**
Don't worry about it. It turned out okay!
**[21:41] ---**
Enemies with brainwashing
abilities are trouble.
**[21:43] ---**
We'll have to learn from this.
**[21:47] ---**
How should we go home...?
**[21:49] ---**
Wahhh...!
**[21:56] ---**
"Before"
**[21:57] ---**
"him"
**[21:58] ---**
"all lie"
**[21:59] ---**
"prostrate"
**[22:01] ---**
In the field of vampire research,
**[22:03] ---**
there's nothing he doesn't
know. He's a genius!
**[22:06] ---**
The vampire dies in no time.
# E10 - Heisei Annoying Vampire Battle in Shin-Yoko
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/G4VUQJ2QZ/heisei-annoying-vampire-battle-in-shin-yoko)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:10] ---**
Human festivals aren't bad, huh, John?
**[00:13] ---**
Don't get too excited, idiot.
We're working!
**[00:15] ---**
Yeah, Draluc.
**[00:17] ---**
Come on, loosen up.
**[00:20] ---**
Hinaichi, you have a cute yukata on, too.
**[00:23] ---**
Cute? I'm just undercover!
My uniform would stand out.
**[00:27] ---**
If there are any vampires
causing trouble at the festival,
**[00:30] ---**
then we have to catch them...
**[00:34] ---**
"Festive Festival"
**[00:34] ---**
"Festive Festival"
It's a hunter's job to protect
the festival from those guys.
**[00:37] ---**
It's a hunter's job to protect
the festival from those guys.
**[00:38] ---**
Don't get so excited that you miss them!
**[00:40] ---**
Wow, you're like the god
of non-persuasiveness.
**[00:44] ---**
Anyway, let's patrol while paying
attention to our surroundings.
**[00:47] ---**
"Nudenium"
"Freshly bloomed!!"
"They can walk"
**[00:51] ---**
Welcome.
**[02:27] ---**
--Nude, nude, nude,
nude, nude, nude...
**[02:27] ---**
"The Festival Music Calls You"
--Nude, nude, nude,
nude, nude, nude...
**[02:29] ---**
"The Festival Music Calls You"
--Nude, nude, nude,
nude, nude, nude...
--Welcome!
**[02:31] ---**
"The Festival Music Calls You"
Welcome!
**[02:32] ---**
Welcom--
**[02:35] ---**
What are you doing?!
**[02:36] ---**
I'm just selling geraniums in the nude.
**[02:40] ---**
Why do you think you're
allowed to do that, idiot?!
**[02:43] ---**
Man, we got a vampire booth
right from the start!
**[02:45] ---**
If that's the case, we need to go
around the whole festival first.
**[02:48] ---**
Hey, wait. I'll also--
**[02:51] ---**
Draluc, hurry up and come along.
**[02:53] ---**
--Draluc!
--Sand...
--Nude, nude, nude...
**[02:57] ---**
You can't sell inferior vampires here!
**[03:00] ---**
Baby Nudeniums...
**[03:02] ---**
Shoot, we've gotten
separated from Ronaldo.
**[03:05] ---**
That guy's so impatient...
**[03:06] ---**
Don't worry about it.
We can patrol separately, too.
**[03:10] ---**
That's true, but you're not the one
who should be saying that.
**[03:15] ---**
Don't die from getting jostled
by the crowd, Draluc.
**[03:18] ---**
You die easily, so don't act carelessly--
**[03:21] ---**
Mister! I want one turn at the ball toss.
**[03:23] ---**
What did I just say?!
**[03:29] ---**
John!
**[03:30] ---**
Listen when I talk! Wee-wee!
Don't just go off and play! Wee-wee!
**[03:33] ---**
It's fine. It *is* a festival, after all.
**[03:36] ---**
What are you going to do
if a vampire attacks?
**[03:40] ---**
I'm the vampire lord, Draluc.
**[03:44] ---**
I am not afraid of other
inferior vampires!
**[03:48] ---**
Excuse me, one turn
at the ring toss, please.
**[03:52] ---**
That'll be 300 yen.
**[03:58] ---**
You miss.
**[04:01] ---**
Sand!
**[04:02] ---**
Draluc!
**[04:05] ---**
You're under arrest! You're under arrest!
**[04:07] ---**
I'm gonna hunt you down!
**[04:08] ---**
Come quietly!
**[04:10] ---**
My perfect plan
**[04:11] ---**
to become part of the ring toss game and
suck the blood of handsome men is ruined!
**[04:16] ---**
Jeez. Be careful, Dralu--
**[04:18] ---**
Mister, please give me a scoop.
**[04:20] ---**
Don't you ever learn?!
**[04:21] ---**
Wee-wee...
**[04:22] ---**
Now, now, let me show you
my magnificent technique.
**[04:29] ---**
Foolish compatriot,
hanging out with inferior humans...
**[04:34] ---**
"Vampiric Telescope Goldfish"
Without even knowing that all humans
will become my servants.
**[04:39] ---**
Without even knowing that all humans
will become my servants.
**[04:43] ---**
Look forward to the coming day
of destruction as much as you can.
**[04:48] ---**
Stop that.
**[04:51] ---**
Why are there so many vampires here?
**[04:53] ---**
Hey, Miss!
**[04:55] ---**
If you beat me at rock-paper-scissors,
you get a free chocolate banana.
**[04:59] ---**
Out! Safe!
**[05:00] ---**
♪ *Yoyoinoyoi!* ♪
**[05:05] ---**
Why are you stripping?!
**[05:06] ---**
I'll put corn kernels
in the offertory box!
**[05:10] ---**
They're appearing one after another!
**[05:12] ---**
"Stem Lottery"
"Prize"
Welcome!
**[05:13] ---**
"Stem Lottery"
"Prize"
You were already at another booth!
**[05:15] ---**
I'm no one suspicious!
No one suspicious at all!
**[05:15] ---**
"Vampire - Cotton Candy Maker"
I'm no one suspicious!
No one suspicious at all!
**[05:19] ---**
"Vampire - Cotton Candy Maker"
One please!
**[05:20] ---**
Draluc, come on!
**[05:23] ---**
Got you! I'll turn you into cotton candy!
**[05:26] ---**
Idiot!
**[05:28] ---**
I kind of understand why
Ronaldo kills you all the time.
**[05:33] ---**
Wahhh!
**[05:36] ---**
Even so... There are too
many vampires here!
**[05:40] ---**
Hunters and Vamp Control are nothing!
**[05:42] ---**
I wanna drink blood!
**[05:44] ---**
Handsome men!
**[05:46] ---**
I can't deal with them in time!
**[05:48] ---**
♪ Alcohol and the hunt ♪
**[05:50] ---**
♪ Are the festival's splendor ♪
**[05:56] ---**
Stop that, my compatriots.
**[06:03] ---**
E-Empress!
**[06:06] ---**
It is boorish to defile
such a glorious festival.
**[06:10] ---**
Let us stop fighting and get
along, at least for tonight.
**[06:15] ---**
It's a festival. Humans and
vampires should all enjoy it.
**[06:21] ---**
Empress...
**[06:23] ---**
It is as the empress says.
**[06:29] ---**
Thanks for your help.
**[06:31] ---**
"Shin-Yokohama-style *yakisoba* - 500 yen"
Thanks for your help.
**[06:31] ---**
"Shin-Yokohama-style *yakisoba* - 500 yen"
It was nothing.
**[06:33] ---**
Now, I'm going to enjoy the
festival, too, with Adamppi.
**[06:38] ---**
Mister, please give me all the
*yakisoba* you have on hand.
**[06:43] ---**
I'll have to close for the day!
**[06:44] ---**
H-Hey!
**[07:00] ---**
Man... that was exhausting.
**[07:09] ---**
There were booths over here, too?
**[07:33] ---**
Huh?
**[07:43] ---**
Oh, Miss...
**[07:45] ---**
Are you alone? You're a good girl...
**[07:50] ---**
Come...
**[07:55] ---**
Come closer...
**[08:00] ---**
Who are you...?
Why do you get in my way...?
**[08:10] ---**
Wait...
**[08:17] ---**
Hinaichi!
**[08:20] ---**
Why are you spacing out?
**[08:22] ---**
Huh?
**[08:25] ---**
Oh, I think I just had a strange dream...
**[08:29] ---**
What, you were that tired?
**[08:31] ---**
The portable shrine parade is starting,
**[08:33] ---**
so why don't you watch that
and then go home early?
**[08:37] ---**
Hey, Draluc. Just now, in my dream...
**[08:40] ---**
Hm?
**[08:41] ---**
Oh... never mind...
**[08:45] ---**
Oh, it's starting!
**[08:48] ---**
All right!
**[08:51] ---**
This year, it's an empress shrine!
**[08:53] ---**
Let's go, guys!
**[08:54] ---**
Yeah! Ready, and--
**[09:16] ---**
"Heisei Annoying Vampire
Battle in Shin-Yoko"
**[09:21] ---**
You're late, hunter.
**[09:23] ---**
No, I'm not! You're the one
who called me suddenly.
**[09:26] ---**
Well? What do you want?
**[09:27] ---**
All right, fools.
First, look at these materials.
**[09:31] ---**
This is an organism we ma--ahem--
captured for research purposes.
**[09:37] ---**
It doesn't suck much blood,
**[09:38] ---**
so there is little danger
in the organism itself.
**[09:41] ---**
However, because it is parasitic
**[09:43] ---**
and has abilities similar to
hypnosis or brainwashing,
**[09:47] ---**
it may have great influence
on human society.
**[09:50] ---**
I let a thing like that loose.
**[09:51] ---**
You idiot!
**[09:53] ---**
No facility is completely secure,
and this was an inevitable accident.
**[09:58] ---**
It wasn't my fault.
**[10:01] ---**
Hurry up and catch it.
You're so lucky to get this job.
**[10:05] ---**
Hey, this is my first time meeting him,
**[10:07] ---**
but what's with this living
embodiment of rudeness?
**[10:09] ---**
He's the director of the VRC!
**[10:12] ---**
He's a genius that everyone in the
field of vampire research knows.
**[10:15] ---**
He's also the one who created the
medicine to treat pseudovampires.
**[10:19] ---**
But he prioritizes his own research
**[10:21] ---**
above anything else and is always
making a mess of things.
**[10:23] ---**
He creates as much trouble
as he does good, huh?
**[10:26] ---**
Quiet.
**[10:27] ---**
I am a great genius, so I won't
get in trouble no matter what I do.
**[10:30] ---**
Vampire Draluc.
**[10:32] ---**
You will soon become a subject for
my research, too. Nice to meet you.
**[10:35] ---**
No way. Nice to meet you.
**[10:37] ---**
Well, what can you tell us
about the runaway vampire?
**[10:41] ---**
Where do you think it would hide?
**[10:42] ---**
How the hell am I supposed to know?
I'm returning to my research.
**[10:46] ---**
Stop troubling this great geniu--
**[10:49] ---**
--What did you say? What did you say?!
--I'll explain! I'll explain!
**[10:51] ---**
Even a great genius
yields to violence, huh?
**[10:57] ---**
Th-That vampiric bug gives off
strong attraction pheromones.
**[11:01] ---**
Attraction?
**[11:02] ---**
In other words,
**[11:04] ---**
those who become its host become super
popular, especially with the opposite sex.
**[11:07] ---**
What? I want that!
**[11:08] ---**
If you see someone who wasn't popular
before become popular suddenly,
**[11:11] ---**
then you've found its host.
**[11:13] ---**
Also, it attaches at the abdomen,
so it looks like giant testicles.
**[11:18] ---**
Never mind, I don't want that!
**[11:21] ---**
But to become popular in exchange for
an extra two hanging off your abdomen...
**[11:25] ---**
It's an extreme decision.
**[11:27] ---**
I don't think there's an idiot who
wants to be popular that badly.
**[11:29] ---**
Hey, Ronaldo, what a coincidence!
**[11:31] ---**
Idiot!
**[11:32] ---**
You've become the host of a vampiric bug!
That thing is what's attracting the girls!
**[11:37] ---**
It's unseemly for a man to be jealous.
**[11:38] ---**
He's like a warped *tanuki* statue.
**[11:42] ---**
Starting tonight, my style is the only
justice that will achieve love!
**[11:49] ---**
Y-You're really okay with that?
**[11:51] ---**
Shut up! I'll say it again!
**[11:53] ---**
I'm starting to climb... the hill
to becoming popular with girls!
**[11:57] ---**
Bubuo, you're so cool!
**[11:59] ---**
You smell wild!
**[12:02] ---**
Why are you trying to act cool, moron?!
**[12:03] ---**
Your hair smells like an unwashed dog.
**[12:07] ---**
Poor guy.
**[12:08] ---**
Oh, no. Let's go!
**[12:09] ---**
Right. The next victim will also be fun!
**[12:13] ---**
Refined, cute, and cool!
**[12:14] ---**
A dandy who doesn't hide how it really is.
**[12:17] ---**
My time... The generation has awakened!
**[12:21] ---**
You too?! Idiot! Manager idiot!
**[12:25] ---**
Dad...
**[12:26] ---**
Bubuo, do you know why
you stopped being popular?
**[12:34] ---**
You forgot your faith and love of girls--
**[12:38] ---**
That's not it!
**[12:39] ---**
If that's the case, you won't be
popular no matter what you do!
**[12:42] ---**
Like you can lecture your son.
**[12:44] ---**
A real-life middle-aged man
shouldn't get so excited.
**[12:47] ---**
Don't create any more sad victims!
**[12:50] ---**
There it is, Ronaldo!
**[12:51] ---**
All right, check--
**[12:54] ---**
Oh, dear, my nose slipped.
**[12:57] ---**
Bastard!
**[12:59] ---**
I've heard about what's going on.
**[13:01] ---**
If I just put this thing on,
the world will be my boob oyster!
**[13:05] ---**
Stop that! You're already
a walking dirty joke!
**[13:09] ---**
--So cute!
--Trumpet!
**[13:11] ---**
--Am I in paradise?
**[13:12] ---**
--Oh my, you're so cute!
--Am I in paradise?
**[13:14] ---**
Your skin is so supple.
**[13:18] ---**
No...!
**[13:22] ---**
Oh, he's cooled down!
**[13:23] ---**
--Yer a shiny handsome man, aren't ya?
--Stop! The vampiric bug
isn't on me anymore!
**[13:28] ---**
--Show us yer undies!
--Stop! The vampiric bug
isn't on me anymore!
**[13:29] ---**
--Show us yer undies!
--Don't you think there are
more people gathering now?
**[13:31] ---**
That vampiric bug's powers are growing.
We need to hurry up and catch it.
**[13:35] ---**
Whoa, it's gotten faster!
**[13:40] ---**
Damn it... It's hard to
survive on fish blood...
**[13:45] ---**
I might be better off swiping
some human food...
**[13:49] ---**
Just thinking that means that I
must have already fallen very far...
**[13:55] ---**
Th-That's not true.
**[13:58] ---**
Right now, I am just waiting
for my chance for vengeance.
**[14:01] ---**
One of these days, I'll cut down
those hunters. And that ball--
**[14:05] ---**
"Marriage Registration"
**[14:06] ---**
"Marriage Registration"
You've got a nice body, mister!
**[14:08] ---**
Tokimeki tonight with me!
**[14:10] ---**
Sex and the city!
**[14:20] ---**
Wee-wee?
**[14:22] ---**
You dare appear again, exhibitionist?!
Full-out public indecency!
**[14:25] ---**
Th-That's not it!
**[14:26] ---**
Hey, it looks like another
pervert appeared.
**[14:29] ---**
We should go after the vampiric bug first!
**[14:31] ---**
Oh, my! What's with this vampiric bug?
It's covering my flowers!
**[14:36] ---**
Stop! Don't pollinate me!
**[14:39] ---**
What kind of situation is this?
**[14:42] ---**
Completely naked with just flowers on
the crotch is a gallant and cool style...
**[14:46] ---**
Wake up, idiot!
**[14:48] ---**
That vampiric bug's powers
have gotten even stronger!
**[14:51] ---**
There's no gender or species
distinction in the attraction!
**[14:57] ---**
Oh, no! John...!
**[15:03] ---**
This is...
**[15:05] ---**
...such an intense power of attraction.
**[15:11] ---**
Oh... John...
**[15:14] ---**
Lord John...
**[15:16] ---**
The vampiric bug's power of
attraction raised to its highest limit
**[15:20] ---**
and John's natural attraction
are resonating with each other...
**[15:26] ---**
Sand...
**[15:33] ---**
Lord John... Lord John... Lord John...
**[15:41] ---**
The day of promise has come...
**[15:44] ---**
The time has come for all humanity
to receive salvation and "nu."
**[15:50] ---**
Now, everyone. Let us pray...
**[15:56] ---**
Nunen.
**[16:01] ---**
Hm... It calmed down
after getting full, huh?
**[16:05] ---**
I got some good data, fools.
**[16:09] ---**
All's well that ends well!
**[16:10] ---**
All's *not* well!
**[16:12] ---**
Nunen.
**[16:15] ---**
"Draluc's All Night Shin-Yoko"
**[16:17] ---**
"Draluc's All Night Shin-Yoko"
All Night Shin-Yoko!
**[16:20] ---**
"Ronaldo Vampire Hunter Agency"
**[16:22] ---**
Now, tonight's All Night
Shin-Yoko has begun!
**[16:26] ---**
It will be brought to you by
the handsome vampire, Draluc,
**[16:28] ---**
and the embodiment of "round,"
the armadillo, John!
**[16:33] ---**
Now, let's start by reading
some listener mail.
**[16:36] ---**
Our first letter is from "Dral,"
who lives in Shin-Yokohama.
**[16:40] ---**
The celery I got from Handa
has turned vampiric.
**[16:44] ---**
What should I do?
**[16:47] ---**
Sorry to hear that! Let's ask those
in the studio for their ideas, too.
**[16:52] ---**
Ronaldo in the studio, what do you think
we should do about vampiric vegetables?
**[16:58] ---**
Huh? I don't know.
Do whatever you want, moron.
**[17:02] ---**
Toss!
**[17:06] ---**
We'll take a trip outside the studio!
**[17:09] ---**
All Night Shin-Yoko.
**[17:12] ---**
The next segment is
"Please Tell Me, Hunter!"
**[17:15] ---**
so I've come to the Hunters Guild!
**[17:19] ---**
Welcome.
**[17:20] ---**
What's going on?
**[17:21] ---**
In this segment, I'd like to ask the
hunters everyday questions frankly!
**[17:26] ---**
Looks like you've got a lot of
free time again, huh, Draluc?
**[17:29] ---**
First, let's talk to Shin-Yokohama's
sea-anemone-hair guy, Shot.
**[17:34] ---**
Shot, you like hairy girls, right?
What kind of hairiness turns you on?
**[17:39] ---**
Don't you have other
things you could ask?!
**[17:41] ---**
Other things? Like what?
**[17:43] ---**
Huh? Well, everyone's
interested in me, right?
**[17:48] ---**
So like, "Why is Shot
so cool?" or something...
**[17:52] ---**
Next, we have Shin-Yokohama's
flea-hearted arm guy.
**[17:55] ---**
H-Hey, wait! I'll think of
something better! Okay?
**[17:59] ---**
Like, "What's the theme
of Shot's costume?"
**[18:02] ---**
Or like, "The hook shots
under his sleeves"--
**[18:04] ---**
Hey, look over here! Damn it...
**[18:07] ---**
J-John!
**[18:09] ---**
I love it when girls accidentally miss
a spot when shaving their pits!
**[18:13] ---**
That's just gross.
**[18:17] ---**
All Night Shin-Yoko.
**[18:24] ---**
Now, our next target is the duck who's
always there on the edge of the screen!
**[18:30] ---**
I've always wondered--
why do you wear a duck costume?
**[18:33] ---**
Hey, don't ask Mr. Vamone
something so rude.
**[18:37] ---**
Yeah, Mr. Vamone's an amazing person!
**[18:40] ---**
He's partial to wearing a duck costume,
**[18:41] ---**
but he's an experienced hunter who
has defeated all kinds of vampires.
**[18:46] ---**
The slashes he sends out with his special
long sword "Leek" are incredible!
**[18:50] ---**
He's eliminated the most
vampires in Shin-Yoko
**[18:52] ---**
and is super popular
with people of all ages!
**[18:54] ---**
What does "partial to wearing
a duck costume" mean?
**[18:57] ---**
The one who took Ronaldo on
as an apprentice and trained him
**[19:00] ---**
was also Mr. Vamone.
**[19:02] ---**
What does "partial to wearing
a duck costume" mean?
**[19:04] ---**
He was also my comrade-in-arms
who stood on the front lines with me
**[19:08] ---**
when I was still on active duty.
**[19:10] ---**
What does "partial to wearing
a duck costume" mean?
**[19:12] ---**
♪ Vamone, Vamone ♪
**[19:14] ---**
♪ Vamone, Vamone ♪
**[19:15] ---**
♪ Vamone, Vamone ♪
**[19:17] ---**
♪ Mr. Vamone ♪
**[19:22] ---**
♪ Vamone, Vamone, Mr. Vamone ♪
**[19:25] ---**
♪ Mr. Vamone of Shin-Yokohama ♪
**[19:28] ---**
♪ Vamone, Vamone, Mr. Vamone ♪
**[19:31] ---**
♪ Dependable hunter, Mr. Vamone ♪
**[19:34] ---**
♪ Vamone, Vamone, Mr. Vamone ♪
**[19:37] ---**
♪ He'll defeat the bad vampires ♪
**[19:40] ---**
♪ Tremble and sleep, villains ♪
**[19:44] ---**
♪ Next time, it might be your turn ♪
**[19:47] ---**
Apparently, he created this
dance for PR as a hobby.
**[19:49] ---**
He really is partial to it, huh?
**[19:52] ---**
Well, a hunter's costume is really just an
amalgamation of what we're partial to...
**[19:56] ---**
So you're just partial to that shirt
that looks like a bra hook?
**[19:59] ---**
Oh, yeah, I also thought that was a bra.
**[20:01] ---**
What?!
**[20:03] ---**
All Night Shin-Yoko!
**[20:09] ---**
Now, let's take this chance
to ask all of our questions!
**[20:14] ---**
Maria, why do you wear a nun's habit,
even though you work as a hunter?
**[20:18] ---**
It's because if I wear a hunting
vest and carry a hunting gun,
**[20:20] ---**
then I won't look like a hunter.
**[20:22] ---**
That's true.
**[20:23] ---**
What about you, Homerun Batter?
Why do you wear those clothes?
**[20:26] ---**
I'm partial to them!
**[20:27] ---**
Um, what about you people who are sometimes
in the background...? Who are you?
**[20:30] ---**
Your description is too heartless.
**[20:33] ---**
"Inventor Hunter - Medoki"
I'm Medoki. I'm a hunter,
but I also work at a hunter goods shop.
**[20:36] ---**
"Hunter - Shoka"
Wake up, Shoka!
**[20:38] ---**
"Hunter - Shoka"
I'm sleepy...
**[20:39] ---**
"Hunter - Shoka"
This is a new item! Vampire Garlic Spray!
**[20:40] ---**
This is a new item! Vampire Garlic Spray!
**[20:42] ---**
Sand!
**[20:44] ---**
Why do you wear those clothes?
**[20:45] ---**
I'm partial to them!
**[20:46] ---**
Do you two want to try?
**[20:48] ---**
Sand...!
**[20:51] ---**
Ta Chan, are you partial
to your clothes, too?
**[20:53] ---**
Oh, what about your clothes?
Are you partial to them, too?
**[20:56] ---**
You should wear them
every day then, scrawny!
**[20:58] ---**
Sand!
**[20:59] ---**
--Are you partial to that bra, too?
**[21:00] ---**
--Yes.
--Are you partial to that bra, too?
**[21:01] ---**
I'm not partial to your face, though!
**[21:03] ---**
Sand!
**[21:04] ---**
A vampire!
**[21:05] ---**
Why did you come in? Are you stupid?
**[21:09] ---**
You're shameless,
coming into the guild like that!
**[21:11] ---**
Surround the vampire!
**[21:12] ---**
Damn it, I'll kill you!
**[21:16] ---**
Let's go home, John.
**[21:19] ---**
All Night Shin-Yoko.
**[21:24] ---**
Oh, that was fun.
**[21:28] ---**
Now, I hate to say this, but it's about
time for All Night Shin-Yoko to end.
**[21:33] ---**
Let's meet again--
**[21:35] ---**
Sand!
**[21:39] ---**
...next time!
**[21:47] ---**
"The world transforms"
**[21:50] ---**
Leave this place to me, Ronaldo.
**[21:54] ---**
I believe.
**[21:56] ---**
I'll fight!
**[21:58] ---**
Shot...
**[22:00] ---**
He believed in me!
**[22:02] ---**
Stand up! You call yourself a hunter?!
**[22:06] ---**
The vampire dies in no time.
# E11 - Shin-Yoko Battle Royale
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GJWU2GV2G/shin-yoko-battle-royale)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:03] ---**
It's finally complete.
I thank you for your help.
**[00:06] ---**
There's no way I wouldn't get
involved with something this fun.
**[00:09] ---**
Let's hurry up and get started.
**[00:11] ---**
Now, let this town...
**[00:14] ---**
...shine with the light of lewd talk!
**[01:52] ---**
"Shin-Yoko Battle Royale"
A really strong vampire?
**[01:55] ---**
"Shin-Yoko Battle Royale"
Yeah, apparently, they're blowing
humans away like nothing,
**[01:57] ---**
"Shin-Yoko Battle Royale"
and no one can touch them.
**[01:59] ---**
Damn it!
**[02:00] ---**
Okay, I'll go home and play a game!
**[02:02] ---**
Sand!
**[02:03] ---**
Vampire! I, Ronaldo the Great,
will be your opponent!
**[02:06] ---**
You're quite a handsome man.
Kiss-kiss with me!
**[02:11] ---**
What, it's you?!
**[02:12] ---**
Can I go home?
**[02:13] ---**
What, are you jealous, Hunte--?
**[02:19] ---**
I want to open up a handsome
man's shirt and give him a hickey...
**[02:24] ---**
...right above the collarbone!
**[02:26] ---**
It'd be even better
if he's got a baby face.
**[02:28] ---**
Ronaldo!
**[02:29] ---**
What is it? After that lewd talk,
there was a shock...
**[02:34] ---**
You are now all under our spell!
**[02:37] ---**
You two!
**[02:38] ---**
There is currently a giant lewd talk
barrier put up around this town.
**[02:42] ---**
A giant lewd talk barrier?!
**[02:44] ---**
Inside this crazy barrier,
lewd talk equals power!
**[02:49] ---**
What the hell? What did
you do, you clowns?!
**[02:51] ---**
Just what I said.
**[02:53] ---**
Weapons and physical strength
are meaningless here!
**[02:55] ---**
Only lewd talk can become power!
**[02:57] ---**
When a strait-laced girl
takes off her clothes
**[02:59] ---**
and she's wearing naughty
underwear, it's the best!
**[03:02] ---**
Ronaldo!
**[03:04] ---**
No one can take down this barrier
that we created together!
**[03:09] ---**
Now, we're going to go enjoy Shin-Yoko,
the Doomed City of Lewd Talk!
**[03:14] ---**
W-Wait!
**[03:15] ---**
Men's bras... are sexy, so I wish
more people would wear them!
**[03:20] ---**
Damn it!
**[03:21] ---**
Fight, Ronaldo!
Release your inner lewd talk!
**[03:25] ---**
Your face shows you're
enjoying this! I'll kill you!
**[03:29] ---**
Boobs! Boobs!
**[03:31] ---**
So soft! Boobs!
**[03:33] ---**
How weak! I can squash
your lewd talk like a bug!
**[03:37] ---**
Damn it! You're pissing me off!
**[03:39] ---**
Don't be shy, fool!
**[03:40] ---**
Put out something more extreme,
**[03:41] ---**
like you want to be slapped by big breasts
until you break your face or something!
**[03:44] ---**
*You* do you it, then!
**[03:47] ---**
Oh, Odd Creature!
**[03:48] ---**
You're so reliable in a
strange situation like this!
**[03:53] ---**
Sex play where I turn into a chair
**[03:55] ---**
and a widow in her mid-30s
with a big butt sits on me!
**[04:00] ---**
Ronaldo!
**[04:03] ---**
Why, Odd?!
**[04:05] ---**
When I act violently in this barrier,
**[04:08] ---**
female hunters come fight me,
saying perverted things.
**[04:13] ---**
I realized that if that's what I get,
I'm okay throwing away
**[04:16] ---**
all the trust, status,
and relationships I have!
**[04:19] ---**
Idiot! You're a real idiot!
**[04:20] ---**
Sorry, Ronaldo. It's all for
the sake of love and lust.
**[04:27] ---**
The unshaven parts you can catch a glimpse
of when a girl stretches her arm!
**[04:33] ---**
Shot!
**[04:34] ---**
Are you all right, Ronaldo?
It's chaos all over town.
**[04:38] ---**
The hunters aren't able
to fight properly, either.
**[04:40] ---**
Vampires have started taking
advantage of this commotion, too.
**[04:43] ---**
I need to hurry up and
settle this with my lewd talk.
**[04:46] ---**
You sound like a veteran of many battles.
**[04:48] ---**
You're not a bad talker.
But can you withstand *my* lewd talk?
**[04:53] ---**
Oh? You sound fired up.
**[04:56] ---**
I'll fight with you!
**[04:58] ---**
A brief glimpse of neglected leg hairs
under long pants in the winter!
**[05:01] ---**
Boobs! Boobs!
**[05:03] ---**
The soft and smooth body line of a
slightly chubby girl with small breasts!
**[05:08] ---**
A girl who realizes she didn't
shave all her finger hair
**[05:11] ---**
and pulls her sleeve down to cover it!
**[05:13] ---**
Boobs! Boob-boobs!
**[05:15] ---**
So weak.
**[05:17] ---**
Pubic hair... you can just barely see...
**[05:22] ---**
...peeking out of a swimsuit!
**[05:28] ---**
Damn it!
**[05:29] ---**
Draluc, take him and run away!
He's holding me back!
**[05:32] ---**
But what about you?
**[05:34] ---**
Don't underestimate me.
I have enough lewd talk stocked up.
**[05:37] ---**
Leave this place to me.
**[05:38] ---**
Shot...
**[05:39] ---**
He must be thinking about
these things all the time.
**[05:42] ---**
Ronaldo. I believe.
**[05:46] ---**
I believe that you have the lewd talk
power needed to tear down this barrier.
**[05:51] ---**
I don't know if I'd want that.
**[05:53] ---**
Now, go! Ronaldo!
**[05:55] ---**
The defenseless back hair!
**[05:57] ---**
The sweat that forms between breasts!
**[06:00] ---**
Let's leave them and get out of here.
**[06:06] ---**
B... Boobs...
**[06:09] ---**
Damn it... I want... to get stronger...
**[06:14] ---**
You couldn't leave those frustrated
tears for a better scene?
**[06:18] ---**
Oh? You look like you're at
the end of your rope, Hunter.
**[06:23] ---**
There's all this merrymaking
going on, too!
**[06:26] ---**
You should have some fun.
**[06:28] ---**
You perverted masterminds! Damn it...
**[06:31] ---**
Boobs... I love boobs...
**[06:34] ---**
Retreat, Ronaldo!
**[06:35] ---**
You can't do anything right now
with your bug-level vocabulary!
**[06:37] ---**
I'll kill you, sand scum!
**[06:40] ---**
I'll fight...
**[06:42] ---**
Shot... He believed in me!
**[06:46] ---**
Is that something to cry about?!
**[06:48] ---**
I have no choice. I'll go get Master,
so persevere a while longer.
**[06:52] ---**
A big-breasted older woman!
**[06:54] ---**
I want her to... scold me a little...
and with her breasts...
**[06:58] ---**
In the middle of a game of *yakyuken*,
**[07:00] ---**
my female opponent took off her gloves
and socks acting like she'd win,
**[07:03] ---**
but now there's only one thing
left until her underwear!
**[07:06] ---**
And that makes her start to look uneasy!
**[07:11] ---**
Give it up already. The resolve we
have for our fetishes is different.
**[07:16] ---**
I mean, he calls himself "Yakyuken Lover."
**[07:19] ---**
I even get receipts under this name.
**[07:19] ---**
"Receipt"
"Yakyuken Lover"
"For printing T-shirts (100)"
I even get receipts under this name.
**[07:21] ---**
"Receipt"
"Yakyuken Lover"
"For printing T-shirts (100)"
You file tax returns?!
**[07:24] ---**
Now, shall I return the favor from before?
**[07:27] ---**
The silhouette of
teardrop-shaped breasts
**[07:30] ---**
that point toward the sky
is so beautiful and sensual.
**[07:34] ---**
Who are you?!
**[07:39] ---**
I came to see my son,
**[07:41] ---**
but it looks like this has become
a vulgar town again.
**[07:44] ---**
Draluc's dad! Why are you here?
**[07:47] ---**
Don't get the wrong idea, Paul.
I didn't come here to save you.
**[07:52] ---**
That grinning guy is an old friend.
**[07:54] ---**
I'm doing this to defeat him
before my son gets hurt.
**[07:57] ---**
Long time no see, Draus.
That was good lewd talk.
**[08:02] ---**
It was thanks to me toying
with you so much, huh?
**[08:05] ---**
And you never seem to learn, no matter
how many times you get thrashed.
**[08:09] ---**
I'll make sure you can't play for a while.
**[08:12] ---**
I don't care what the situation is.
**[08:14] ---**
Are you saying you can beat me
inside this lewd talk barrier?
**[08:18] ---**
Me? No, *we* can beat you!
**[08:22] ---**
Can you stand, Paul?
You call yourself a hunter?!
**[08:27] ---**
What can the two of us do?
**[08:30] ---**
Paul, are you a boob man?
**[08:33] ---**
Then, large breasts are fine, too,
**[08:35] ---**
but I'm sure you also appreciate the work
it takes to push boobs up to look bigger!
**[08:40] ---**
I do! I feel warmth,
like that of a hand-made bento--
**[08:44] ---**
Like, "You made that for me?"
**[08:46] ---**
Yeah, I get that.
**[08:48] ---**
You feel it in the choice
of underwear, too!
**[08:49] ---**
The joy I feel thinking, "You wore
the sexy ones for me!" I get it!
**[08:54] ---**
Wh-What is this?
Their lewd talk power is increasing!
**[08:58] ---**
I see... They're talking together
and making each other stronger...
**[09:02] ---**
This isn't a battle.
It's the lewd talk of harmony.
**[09:05] ---**
No, this is what lewd talk
should actually look like.
**[09:09] ---**
In other words, Lewd Conversation!
**[09:11] ---**
"Lewd Conversation"
In other words, Lewd Conversation!
**[09:13] ---**
Girls smell good, don't they?
**[09:15] ---**
The scent of someone you love
is better than any perfume!
**[09:19] ---**
There are worlds like that, too!
**[09:21] ---**
I want to go to a world like that, too!
**[09:23] ---**
Now, say it with me!
**[09:26] ---**
The smell of boobs...
is a good smell!
**[09:37] ---**
Now, the barrier is gone.
Your friend is gone, too.
**[09:40] ---**
You're all that's left!
**[09:43] ---**
It's true that I probably don't have enough
strength to oppose you two by myself.
**[09:47] ---**
In other words, I'm powerless!
I can't do anything!
**[09:49] ---**
You didn't think this through enough!
**[09:51] ---**
That's enough. Leave him, Paul.
**[09:53] ---**
Huh? But--
**[09:54] ---**
I don't like bullying the weak.
**[09:57] ---**
Besides, he won't feel remorse
even if you hit him.
**[09:59] ---**
That's true, but...
**[10:01] ---**
I'm just glad we could resolve this
before Draluc got involved.
**[10:05] ---**
Um, I got back a while ago.
**[10:09] ---**
What was that about the scent
of someone you love?
**[10:27] ---**
Strike!
**[10:29] ---**
Stop that!
**[10:30] ---**
Sand...
**[10:32] ---**
Wahh! Don't separate the bond
between me and John!
**[10:34] ---**
What bond?! Don't use him as a ball!
**[10:36] ---**
And, John! Why are you
so devoted to this idiot?!
**[10:42] ---**
S-Sorry, I can't understand you
even if you go into a flashback.
**[10:45] ---**
John's talking about how we met.
**[10:50] ---**
Here, let me tell you about it...
**[10:52] ---**
About when John agreed
to become my familiar.
**[10:56] ---**
That was when I was still--
**[10:58] ---**
*I've* gone to buy donuts with
John, just the two of us!
**[11:02] ---**
Sorry, but can you stop
trying to one-up me?
**[11:05] ---**
I was still living with my family
in our Transylvania castle.
**[11:11] ---**
Hi, everyone.
**[11:13] ---**
What is it, Grandfather?
**[11:15] ---**
I want to go on a South American
vacation to see unusual animals.
**[11:19] ---**
So, I bought a villa.
Let's all go, right now.
**[11:24] ---**
It's like the clumsy introduction
of a segment on a variety show.
**[11:27] ---**
I met John there.
**[11:30] ---**
John, you're South American?
**[11:33] ---**
Anyway, we... ended up living
at the villa for a while.
**[11:38] ---**
A Western-style house doesn't
fit with this scenery!
**[11:41] ---**
Huh? Where's Grandfather?
**[11:43] ---**
He said he was going to go
hunting for rare animals...
**[11:46] ---**
We should bring him back before he
catches an anaconda or something.
**[11:49] ---**
I'm home.
**[11:50] ---**
I found something that
looks like a cryptid.
**[11:53] ---**
Please put it back!
**[11:55] ---**
It's a present for Draus.
**[12:00] ---**
Oh, there's one more--
**[12:03] ---**
Oh, um, is that also for Father--?
**[12:07] ---**
It was injured, so I brought it back.
**[12:10] ---**
Poor thing.
**[12:13] ---**
Let's take care of its wounds.
**[12:14] ---**
Okay, I'm leaving it to you.
**[12:16] ---**
Next time, I'll find a cryptid
for you, too, Draluc.
**[12:19] ---**
I don't need one.
**[12:20] ---**
And that's how John and I met.
**[12:23] ---**
There, there. Don't be scared.
**[12:26] ---**
You look kind of like a tennis ball.
**[12:31] ---**
Fortunately, the wounds were not serious,
and John healed before long.
**[12:35] ---**
Yup, looks like you're all better.
**[12:39] ---**
Oh, Marusuke's all better?
**[12:42] ---**
I'm glad you're okay, Oriharucon Z.
**[12:44] ---**
--Tamao.
--Joker Ball.
**[12:46] ---**
Guardian.
**[12:47] ---**
Ah, everyone has their own name for you.
**[12:49] ---**
Please don't name him randomly like that.
I'm going to make him my familiar!
**[12:53] ---**
You're going to give Marusuke
some of your blood?
**[12:55] ---**
Oh, that's nice.
**[12:57] ---**
Once he grows up, anyway.
**[13:00] ---**
That way, we can always be together--
**[13:03] ---**
In the castle where I live.
**[13:07] ---**
What will you call him, then?
**[13:09] ---**
"Joker Ball Tamao Marusuke
Oriharucon Z Guardian (temp)"
Well, how about we use
all the names for now?
**[13:13] ---**
"Joker Ball Tamao Marusuke
Oriharucon Z Guardian (temp)"
A random mishmash...
**[13:15] ---**
Now, let us go, John!
**[13:18] ---**
John, today's snack is cake!
**[13:22] ---**
A present for Draluc.
**[13:25] ---**
Sand...!
**[13:26] ---**
This is our castle.
**[13:30] ---**
Oh, do you like it, John?
**[13:34] ---**
My days with John were so much fun.
**[13:40] ---**
Oh, wow, that's amazing!
**[13:44] ---**
If we get a lot of these,
we can make some delicious sweets.
**[13:48] ---**
Pie, for example...
**[13:51] ---**
Draluc!
**[13:54] ---**
Father.
**[13:56] ---**
Tonight, we will leave for our old home.
**[13:58] ---**
Huh?
**[13:59] ---**
Grandfather wants to have
a board game tournament.
**[14:03] ---**
That man lives too much
in the here and now...
**[14:05] ---**
Oh, well, that means you can
go to the castle, John.
**[14:09] ---**
Hm? John?
**[14:16] ---**
It's done baking, John!
**[14:35] ---**
"Inferior Vampire - Super Big Mosquito"
**[14:49] ---**
John!
**[14:50] ---**
Sand!
**[14:58] ---**
J-John... now...!
**[15:21] ---**
Oh, that's great, John.
**[15:23] ---**
You're a hero surrounded by your kind.
**[15:27] ---**
"Your kind"...
**[15:30] ---**
If he is always with me...
then... John will...
**[15:55] ---**
Please take care of John.
**[15:59] ---**
I'm sure he will be able
to live happily here...
**[16:03] ---**
In his home country, with you all...
**[16:06] ---**
He might even find the parents
he was separated from.
**[16:09] ---**
This is much better for him
than becoming my familiar...
**[16:59] ---**
This is our castle.
**[17:31] ---**
With just a picture...
**[17:33] ---**
Maybe somewhere in the
eastern part of Europe?
**[17:35] ---**
Anyway, we'll take you across the ocean.
**[17:37] ---**
Do your best, 'madillo.
**[17:50] ---**
That's Europe.
**[17:53] ---**
I'm sure you'll find him!
**[17:55] ---**
Take care!
**[17:57] ---**
"Castle this way"
**[18:10] ---**
"Castle Buns"
**[18:49] ---**
What's this?
**[18:50] ---**
A scrap of paper.
**[18:51] ---**
Doesn't it look like that castle?
**[18:53] ---**
You know, the one on the other side of the
mountain that's rumored to have vampires.
**[19:04] ---**
Draluc... Are you thinking about
Marusuke--I mean, John again?
**[19:09] ---**
Father, don't worry.
I've already put it behind me.
**[19:12] ---**
Whoa, this room feels troubled!
**[19:14] ---**
What do you mean, "troubled"?!
**[19:16] ---**
You've got Mother's portrait on
the lid of your coffin, don't you?!
**[19:19] ---**
N-No, that's just...
**[19:22] ---**
Good night, my sweet.
**[19:25] ---**
I didn't know you kissed it!
I didn't *want* to know!
**[19:28] ---**
But Mira's always so busy that
I can't see her, so I get lonely!
**[19:31] ---**
Anyway, I'm fine.
**[19:35] ---**
Jeez, Father is so overprotective.
**[19:39] ---**
I'm sure John's having fun where he is.
**[19:50] ---**
No...! Help me!
I'm going to die! Sand!
**[20:01] ---**
N-No way... It can't be...
**[20:06] ---**
Joh--
**[20:10] ---**
John!
**[20:12] ---**
John! What are you doing here?
**[20:16] ---**
Back in South America, you...
**[20:23] ---**
John...
**[20:28] ---**
I... was an idiot...
**[20:36] ---**
It's boorish to ask
after all this time, but...
**[20:38] ---**
John, will you live
with me as my familiar?
**[20:46] ---**
And so, John became my familiar,
and we have lived together ever since.
**[20:54] ---**
I swore that I would never be
separated from John again.
**[20:59] ---**
That's all. What do you think?
**[21:02] ---**
So what...? I... I've... gone to
buy donuts... with John before...
**[21:09] ---**
Your voice is shaking.
**[21:11] ---**
Shut up!
**[21:13] ---**
But, well, John's really a good
kid who's devoted to you...
**[21:21] ---**
That's even more reason you shouldn't
use him as a ball, you scum!
**[22:59] ---**
One day, we received word
from the villa caretaker
**[23:03] ---**
that John's parents had been found.
**[23:08] ---**
We found out that they were attacked
by a giant vampiric mosquito
**[23:10] ---**
and were separated from John,
who was still a baby at the time.
**[23:25] ---**
I will take good care of your son.
**[23:30] ---**
A long time has passed since then,
**[23:33] ---**
but we are still close with
the armadillos on that hill.
# E12 - Five Dumb Matches
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GMKUX7VXV/five-dumb-matches)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:02] ---**
So this is the last place where Tsujigiri
was heard from, Shin-Yokohama...
**[00:07] ---**
I wondered what kind of place it was,
but it's just a small town.
**[00:11] ---**
How disappointing.
**[00:14] ---**
Oh, well.
**[00:17] ---**
"Vampire - Spiderleg Aranea"
It's just right for some quick meals.
**[01:53] ---**
"Silver Rise Blind Your Eyes"
Now, are there any
pretty young girls here?
**[01:57] ---**
You look quite dangerous.
I haven't seen you before, compatriot.
**[02:02] ---**
Good grief, and I was just
out on a walk, too.
**[02:06] ---**
I don't care what other people eat...
but Shin-Yoko is *my* territory.
**[02:13] ---**
Leave this place!
**[02:15] ---**
Good evening, foolish compatriot.
**[02:18] ---**
What if I refuse?
How do you plan on stopping me?
**[02:26] ---**
You didn't have a plan?
**[02:28] ---**
What's with this bottle?! Let me out!
**[02:30] ---**
He was so much weaker than
I expected that I panicked.
**[02:34] ---**
It's no use. No matter how much you yell,
no one but me will be able to hear you.
**[02:38] ---**
It'd be annoying if you regenerated...
**[02:41] ---**
...so maybe I'll just throw you
into the river like this.
**[02:45] ---**
This town's got ostriches and Vamp
Control and hunters! They're all strong!
**[02:49] ---**
They'll eliminate you right away!
**[02:50] ---**
Oh? That sounds fun.
**[02:52] ---**
Change of plans.
My first meal will be a hunter.
**[02:56] ---**
I can't wait!
**[02:59] ---**
It pains me to say this,
but I'm counting on you, Ronaldo!
**[03:01] ---**
Save me as soon as possible!
**[03:03] ---**
Huh? What's the matter?
**[03:06] ---**
What are you doing by
yourself at this hour?
**[03:08] ---**
Ronaldo!
**[03:10] ---**
Miss, walking around alone
at night is-- Whoa, big boobs...
**[03:15] ---**
Walking around-boob
alone-boob is dangerous-boob...
**[03:17] ---**
You idiot!
**[03:18] ---**
The idiocy! Useless hunter!
**[03:20] ---**
She's a vampire!
Hurry up and eliminate her!
**[03:23] ---**
You fool. I told you,
he can't hear your voice.
**[03:27] ---**
This is perfect. I'll trick him
like this and drink his blood.
**[03:31] ---**
Boob?
**[03:34] ---**
I'm sorry, I just arrived in Shin-Yoko.
**[03:38] ---**
Will you show me around...
**[03:40] ---**
...Mr. Hunter?
**[03:43] ---**
Hey, Ass.
**[03:45] ---**
Shin-Yoko, famous places, nice mood...
**[03:48] ---**
...d-date spot.
**[03:49] ---**
He's trying so hard!
**[03:51] ---**
Like there are any date
spots in Shin-Yoko!
**[03:53] ---**
Anyway, aren't you supposed
to be working? Useless hunter!
**[03:57] ---**
Mis-- Uh, M-Miss...
I would be happy to, um, I can...
**[04:01] ---**
There's a place with
a romantic night view...
**[04:04] ---**
I'll show you a night view...
and other romantic stuff...
**[04:07] ---**
You're so bad at this.
**[04:08] ---**
Th-Thanks.
**[04:10] ---**
Then, I guess I'd like a place
where I can drink alcohol...
**[04:14] ---**
I'll drink you under the table.
**[04:16] ---**
But the night view is lovely, too.
**[04:18] ---**
Stop talking about the night view!
You're so bad at ad-libbing!
**[04:21] ---**
Oh, I-I mean...
**[04:23] ---**
Hey, Ass.
**[04:25] ---**
I'm sorry! It's not that
I don't like night views.
**[04:28] ---**
It's just that I'm a little hungry...
**[04:31] ---**
Oh! I-I'm sorry!
**[04:33] ---**
Then you can have this ham cutlet
I got at the convenience store earlier!
**[04:35] ---**
Don't give her something
like that, you idiot!
**[04:37] ---**
I have minced meat cutlet, too!
Which one do you want?
**[04:40] ---**
Don't keep going like she's
going to eat one of them!
**[04:42] ---**
I-I'll take the ham...
**[04:45] ---**
Don't do that! If you don't reject
him sternly, he'll keep doing this!
**[04:49] ---**
Shall I put the sauce on for you--?
**[04:51] ---**
Don't look like you've got
this under control now!
**[04:53] ---**
Huh?
**[04:54] ---**
Oh, it's nothing!
This ham is delicious!
**[04:58] ---**
Now, will you show me the night view?
**[05:03] ---**
Oh, I think vodka should be
chilled and taken straight...
**[05:07] ---**
I'll surprise him with an attack
in a place with no people!
**[05:17] ---**
No one's talking!
**[05:19] ---**
Wh-What kind of work does a hunter do?
**[05:23] ---**
Oh. We do stuff like beat up old naked
guys with flowers on their crotch.
**[05:28] ---**
Also, we fight old guys who make us talk
dirty, and all I could say was "boobs."
**[05:32] ---**
This is something you can get mad about!
**[05:35] ---**
Shut up! Cut that out!
**[05:37] ---**
--Huh?
--Oh, it's nothing.
**[05:40] ---**
Oh, we're here.
**[05:44] ---**
I can't wait.
**[05:47] ---**
R-Ronaldo!
**[05:58] ---**
Vampire Tranquilizer Bullets!
**[06:00] ---**
You--!
**[06:02] ---**
Sorry about the bad date
with the bad acting.
**[06:05] ---**
I had no choice.
**[06:08] ---**
Because I had to bring you out here...
**[06:12] ---**
...without letting you
get close to anyone.
**[06:19] ---**
This is dumb.
**[06:21] ---**
Like *I'd* be the one to be tricked.
**[06:27] ---**
But it's fine.
**[06:28] ---**
I'll make you all...
**[06:31] ---**
...my dinner, right here, right now!
**[06:35] ---**
I'll... suck your blood, you worms!
**[06:48] ---**
These worms!
**[06:51] ---**
Like I'd ever...
**[06:55] ---**
...lose to them!
**[07:05] ---**
We could've beaten her
without that show you put on.
**[07:08] ---**
You can only say that in hindsight.
**[07:10] ---**
It would've been bad if we fought
in a place with civilians.
**[07:13] ---**
No. It was so faithful to your usual self
that I couldn't tell you were acting.
**[07:19] ---**
Gross!
**[07:20] ---**
Sand...
**[07:22] ---**
Anyway, how did you know
what she really was?
**[07:25] ---**
I knew from the start.
There was an alert issued in another town.
**[07:29] ---**
Besides, she called me "Mr. Hunter"
before I'd even told her my name.
**[07:34] ---**
Just from that?
**[07:35] ---**
Even though you're super dense and have
been leveling up your stupidity recently?
**[07:39] ---**
Sand...!
**[07:40] ---**
More than anything, I had a strong
feeling something was off...
**[07:46] ---**
...because a girl was flirting with me...
**[07:50] ---**
Ronaldo!
**[07:55] ---**
"Dress Up for You"
**[07:57] ---**
"Dress Up for You"
...ul, hey... Ronaldo.
**[07:59] ---**
...ul, hey... Ronaldo.
**[08:01] ---**
Happy Halloween.
**[08:04] ---**
You're gonna give me nightmares!
What are you trying to do, moron?!
**[08:07] ---**
I'm cosplaying Sword, the main character of
the legendary shitty game, *Quest of Soul Gate*.
**[08:11] ---**
Never heard of him.
**[08:13] ---**
I'm going to do an impression of Sword
when he dies and hits his head.
**[08:19] ---**
J-Just what kind of character is Sword?
He seems as weak as you!
**[08:22] ---**
No, wait. I'm asking you
*why* you're cosplaying him!
**[08:26] ---**
You don't know? It's Halloween!
**[08:29] ---**
It's a day for humans and vampires to
dress up and deepen their friendships!
**[08:32] ---**
Ronaldo, will you join me?
**[08:35] ---**
Don't know. Don't care. I'm going
to sleep. Don't wake me up. Die!
**[08:37] ---**
Don't say that! John worked
hard on his costume, too!
**[08:41] ---**
Oh, John, what are you? A bug's hive?
**[08:44] ---**
He said he's a pile of melon bread.
**[08:46] ---**
I'm sorry, John! You look delicious!
**[08:48] ---**
Now, let us have a Halloween
costume party tonight!
**[08:52] ---**
No way! It's pointless!
**[09:01] ---**
There's a ton of people here!
**[09:04] ---**
Hey, Ronaldo.
**[09:06] ---**
It's all free. Business must be good.
**[09:08] ---**
H-Hey... Free?
**[09:10] ---**
Halloween party! Dress up and
get free grub at Ronaldo Agency!
**[09:14] ---**
I handed out invitations that said that.
**[09:17] ---**
Ronaldo. Thank you for the invitation.
**[09:21] ---**
Who are you?!
**[09:22] ---**
I'm the manager at Vamima!
**[09:23] ---**
This is a cosplay of the Special
Security Robot, Gatekin!
**[09:26] ---**
Never heard of it!
**[09:30] ---**
Looks like it will be a wonderful evening.
**[09:33] ---**
Long time no see, Ronaldo.
**[09:35] ---**
Thanks for inviting us.
**[09:37] ---**
Oh, um... you're welcome...
**[09:38] ---**
Nude, nude, nude...
**[09:41] ---**
Yes, this is a fun party!
**[09:44] ---**
R-Right...
**[09:46] ---**
Look.
**[09:47] ---**
Everyone gathered here
because they adore you.
**[09:51] ---**
I also prepared time for you to be
the star and perform something.
**[09:55] ---**
I'm looking forward to it, Ronaldo!
**[09:57] ---**
Give me a good shot!
**[09:58] ---**
Like hell they adore me!
That's a lie! Damn you all to hell!
**[10:02] ---**
Ronaldo, what made you decide to express
Japan's seasons through pole dancing?
**[10:06] ---**
Like hell I'm doing that!
**[10:07] ---**
Hey, Ronaldo!
**[10:08] ---**
Huh?!
**[10:09] ---**
Trick-or...
**[10:10] ---**
...treat!
**[10:12] ---**
Man, these grade schoolers
don't have a shred of respect!
**[10:14] ---**
I'll give you gum! I'll give you gum!
**[10:15] ---**
Oh, are we doing that? Trick-or-treat!
**[10:18] ---**
We're not, idiot!
**[10:20] ---**
Aww. Oh, please give me that meat.
**[10:37] ---**
What's the matter, John?
**[10:39] ---**
It's kind of an amazing sight, huh?
I can't tell who's who.
**[10:45] ---**
Oh, the star looks gloomy.
**[10:48] ---**
I know who *you* are, scooter kid!
**[10:51] ---**
Hey, don't ride that inside!
**[10:53] ---**
Who are *you* people?!
**[10:55] ---**
We are members of John's fan club.
**[10:58] ---**
John's cuteness...
**[10:59] ---**
...should be poured out equally to all.
**[11:06] ---**
That voice!
**[11:07] ---**
Go, Celeryman Sagyo!
**[11:09] ---**
It's not what you think, Ronaldo!
I was forced to wear this--
**[11:13] ---**
Celery spirit!
**[11:18] ---**
Celery... A living, breathing celery...
**[11:21] ---**
A-Are you all right, Ronaldo?
**[11:24] ---**
Satetsu... Even your costume's boring...
**[11:27] ---**
Huh?
**[11:29] ---**
Handa and Sagyo,
what's wrong with you two?
**[11:31] ---**
We are...
**[11:33] ---**
...just here as security!
**[11:35] ---**
We're not... here to play!
**[11:38] ---**
It's fine. You're not convincing at all.
**[11:41] ---**
Ronaldo, look! Look!
**[11:43] ---**
Huh?
**[11:44] ---**
My costume is a beautiful,
widowed inn proprietress
**[11:46] ---**
whose husband passed away six months ago,
who's worried about her aging body.
**[11:50] ---**
Your idea's gross! Besides, yours is
a transformation, not a costume!
**[11:55] ---**
A transformation's fine, too!
It's a vampire's privilege!
**[11:58] ---**
Sexy dynamite!
**[12:00] ---**
Why are you getting so excited?!
**[12:02] ---**
Oh, how sexy! I can't lose!
**[12:06] ---**
It's not a competition!
**[12:07] ---**
Sexy!
**[12:09] ---**
What are you doing, Manager?!
**[12:13] ---**
Sexy!
**[12:14] ---**
Bikini!
**[12:15] ---**
Wee-wee?!
**[12:17] ---**
What...?
**[12:20] ---**
Did you just notice?
**[12:23] ---**
Foolish hunter.
**[12:25] ---**
What, it's you, perverted vampire?!
**[12:27] ---**
A costume party? What good taste. I had no
trouble at all getting lost in the crowd.
**[12:33] ---**
Bastard, how dare you--
**[12:35] ---**
Whoops, don't move.
**[12:38] ---**
--Bikini.
--Bikini.
**[12:40] ---**
If you value the blood and lives
of these humans, then don't resist.
**[12:45] ---**
Damn it, you bastard!
**[12:47] ---**
Do you understand the situation?
Then, accept my domination.
**[12:52] ---**
Vamp Control and hunters
should all wear micro bikinis!
**[12:55] ---**
From here on out,
my dominion over humans will--
**[12:58] ---**
Do you have a bingo card?
**[13:03] ---**
We're playing bingo!
**[13:05] ---**
Anyone else not have a card?
Here's a card for you.
**[13:10] ---**
Huh? What was I doing?
**[13:12] ---**
Wh-Why were you able to overcome
my micro bikinis so easily...?!
**[13:16] ---**
Now, we've got some
great prizes for bingo!
**[13:19] ---**
Everyone, are you ready?
**[13:21] ---**
Huh? Dra... you...
**[13:25] ---**
John, Ronaldo! That's not me!
**[13:37] ---**
I've been found out? Too bad.
**[13:39] ---**
So that's why you were nowhere to be found
after calling for me out of the blue!
**[13:42] ---**
Why did you transform
yourself into Draluc?!
**[13:45] ---**
Sorry, I wanted to dress up
because it was Halloween.
**[13:49] ---**
On top of that, having a party
in such a cramped office!
**[13:52] ---**
Yeah, it's absurd to have a party
in a rabbit hutch like this.
**[13:55] ---**
It *is* a little cramped.
**[13:56] ---**
I'll kill you!
**[13:57] ---**
Sorry for causing you trouble
in such a cramped space, Ronaldo.
**[14:01] ---**
--It's *not* cramped--
--But--
**[14:04] ---**
It was fun.
**[14:06] ---**
Goodbye, then.
**[14:17] ---**
Jeez, that man comes
and goes like a storm.
**[14:19] ---**
Keep a closer eye on him
at your family's place!
**[14:22] ---**
Now--
**[14:24] ---**
Sorry for the interruption, everyone!
**[14:25] ---**
Let's continue the festivities
with Ronaldo's pole dancing!
**[14:29] ---**
Huh?!
**[14:30] ---**
Yeah, I was waiting for this!
**[14:32] ---**
I'm not dancing! This party's over!
**[14:33] ---**
Aww...
**[14:34] ---**
Don't "Aww" me! I'm not dancing!
**[14:36] ---**
'Scuse me! Can we at least
get the bingo prizes?
**[14:39] ---**
Shut up, loser! I told you,
the party's over!
**[14:41] ---**
I reserved a venue for the afterparty.
**[14:44] ---**
Huh?!
**[14:45] ---**
Someplace spacious.
**[14:47] ---**
Let's go!
**[14:54] ---**
It's Dra-Dra All Night Shin-Yoko!
The afterparty venue is hopping!
**[14:58] ---**
It's pandemonium!
**[15:00] ---**
Here's today's special guest!
**[15:02] ---**
The old man called the strongest
storm in the family, Grandfather!
**[15:06] ---**
Happy Halloween.
**[15:08] ---**
I'm glad everyone looks
like they're having fun.
**[15:11] ---**
Now, here we are live at the performance
everyone's been waiting for,
**[15:13] ---**
Ronaldo's Pole Dancing on Stage--
Japanese Seasons Edition...
**[15:17] ---**
That's Ronalina Typhoon to you!
**[15:20] ---**
Sand...!
**[15:26] ---**
Let's go to the after-afterparty next.
**[15:29] ---**
The desperate
after-after-after-afterparty!
**[15:33] ---**
"Five Dumb Matches"
**[15:36] ---**
The QS4 I've been using
since I lived at the castle...
**[15:39] ---**
I was just about to subscribe to
Netflips to watch some movies...
**[15:44] ---**
You've been using it too much,
Shitty Gamer Sand!
**[15:46] ---**
Who's the idiot who was using it roughly?!
**[15:49] ---**
I guess we have no choice.
**[15:50] ---**
We'll have to replace it with a QS5 Pro
Ultra Powerful Grade Justice X2.
**[15:55] ---**
The one with the really
good image quality?!
**[15:57] ---**
Yeah, it's said to be able to process
all games at near-lightspeed
**[16:00] ---**
and can even transform into a small robot.
**[16:02] ---**
Okay, buy it, Lord Dral.
**[16:03] ---**
I'm counting on you, Ronaldo.
**[16:06] ---**
This is where the head of the household
should show his generosity.
**[16:08] ---**
If it was originally from Castle Draluc,
then the lord of the castle should buy it.
**[16:16] ---**
If you're going to use it most of the
time, then you should pay for it!
**[16:18] ---**
You want to watch movies on it, right?
**[16:19] ---**
It's only as much as 30 trips to the movie
theater. Show you're a man and pay for it!
**[16:22] ---**
Show the dignity of the lord of a castle!
It hasn't come out once in 12 episodes!
**[16:27] ---**
Then, you pay for half.
And I'll take half.
**[16:30] ---**
Don't take it! Jeez...
**[16:32] ---**
This is a pain! Let's decide
this with violence!
**[16:34] ---**
Suggest rock-paper-scissors
or something, moron!
**[16:36] ---**
It'll be even more fair if we
settled this with a video game.
**[16:38] ---**
That's not fair!
**[16:40] ---**
Then what would be fair? Come up with
a counter-suggestion, youngster!
**[16:43] ---**
I don't have one.
**[16:44] ---**
A skinny and gangly sandman like you
and the handsome and macho
**[16:46] ---**
Ronaldo the Great wouldn't
be good at the same things.
**[16:48] ---**
It's true that it'd be hard for me to
converse with someone with monkey brains.
**[16:52] ---**
Sand!
**[16:55] ---**
Wait, let's do this then.
**[16:58] ---**
We'll put different ways to compete
in this and draw randomly.
**[17:03] ---**
"Chugging cola" "Othello" "Poker"
"Tug-of-war" "Word-chain game"
**[17:03] ---**
"Chugging cola" "Othello" "Poker"
"Tug-of-war" "Word-chain game"
No hard feelings no matter what
gets drawn! Loser buys the QS5 Pro!
**[17:07] ---**
"Violence" "Violence" "Violence"
"Violence" "Violence" "Violence"
If I just put "violence" in 100 times--
**[17:09] ---**
"Violence" "Violence" "Violence"
"Violence" "Violence" "Violence"
If one of those gets drawn,
then you'll lose for breaking the rules.
**[17:12] ---**
We'll have Mr. Goldie here be the referee.
**[17:15] ---**
Why don't you just decide
with rock-paper-scissors?
**[17:18] ---**
Very well. You should each
write about 30 cards.
**[17:22] ---**
Isn't that too many?!
**[17:23] ---**
If you write that many,
it'll be more fair.
**[17:27] ---**
Shall we make it about five matches?
**[17:30] ---**
No objections here.
**[17:31] ---**
Then, let's start. Draw the first card!
**[17:36] ---**
"Staring contest"
**[17:37] ---**
"Staring contest"
A staring contest? That's a kid's game.
**[17:39] ---**
"Staring contest"
Shut up!
**[17:42] ---**
"First Match"
"Staring Contest"
**[17:44] ---**
We'll do this with milk in our mouths.
First one to spit it out loses.
**[17:49] ---**
Very well. I accept your challeng--
**[17:52] ---**
Hey! That's dirty! You lose. I won!
**[17:56] ---**
That didn't count! I just couldn't
endure the situation any longer!
**[17:59] ---**
Glub, glub. I already regret
accepting the job of referee.
**[18:08] ---**
Let's start the staring contest.
Appuppu--
**[18:24] ---**
You died just now, didn't you?!
You died laughing!
**[18:26] ---**
No, I didn't! I just bit
the inside of my mouth.
**[18:29] ---**
Shut up! You lose if you die!
**[18:30] ---**
You lose if you spit!
*You're* the one who said that earlie--
**[18:33] ---**
Hey, Goldie, which is it?!
**[18:34] ---**
Please change my water...
**[18:36] ---**
"First Match"
"Draw"
**[18:37] ---**
"Second Match"
**[18:40] ---**
I'll beat you down in the second match!
**[18:44] ---**
"Flexibility contest"
**[18:45] ---**
"Flexibility contest"
What's this?
**[18:46] ---**
It looks like you're competing
to see who's more flexible.
**[18:49] ---**
Are you bragging about how
flexible you are, Ronal-- Gross!
**[18:52] ---**
You look like you should be crawling
on the bottom of the ocean.
**[18:54] ---**
Shut up! You try it, too!
**[18:58] ---**
You're making the shape
of a katakana "ko."
**[19:01] ---**
That's not making a difference.
**[19:01] ---**
It's a hiragana "tsu."
**[19:03] ---**
The conditions for winning
weren't specified,
**[19:05] ---**
so it could be a match
to see who's less flexible.
**[19:07] ---**
You lose.
**[19:10] ---**
Just you watch!
**[19:11] ---**
Die! Water!
**[19:14] ---**
Look! Look at how flexible I am now!
Try squeezing me as much as you want!
**[19:17] ---**
You lose.
**[19:19] ---**
Hah! I feel bad for John,
but I'll keep winning like this!
**[19:22] ---**
Why don't you go withdraw money
right now while you can? Huh?
**[19:25] ---**
"Impressions - It seems like they
might have said it, but they didn't"
What the hell is this?!
**[19:27] ---**
"Third Match"
As the card says, you're supposed
to do an impression of someone
**[19:30] ---**
"Third Match"
saying something it seems
they might say, but they didn't.
**[19:31] ---**
I don't know what that means. Why'd you
make it sound like the slogan for chili oil?
**[19:34] ---**
I will demonstrate. You can just watch
while sucking on some candy.
**[19:38] ---**
An impression of Ronaldo
when he's tired after writing--
**[19:41] ---**
Ah, I wanna touch some boobs!
**[19:43] ---**
I wouldn't say that!
**[19:44] ---**
But it sounds like
something you would say.
**[19:45] ---**
An impression of Ronaldo when he thinks
someone asking for directions is a fan.
**[19:51] ---**
Oh yes, I'm Ronaldo. Thank you.
I'll give you an autograph if you-- Huh?
**[19:56] ---**
Oh... yes... Go straight
on the road to the right.
**[19:58] ---**
I'll kill you!
**[19:59] ---**
Seems like something he'd do.
**[20:01] ---**
A-An impression of the damned sand
when he realizes his own standing.
**[20:05] ---**
Just as expected of Ronaldo
the Great. I can't beat you.
**[20:09] ---**
Looks like someone doesn't
understand this game. Idiot.
**[20:12] ---**
It doesn't sound like something I'd
say at all. Minus 200 million points!
**[20:15] ---**
An impression of Goldie.
**[20:17] ---**
Glub, glub. It's about time for food--
**[20:19] ---**
Winner, Draluc.
**[20:21] ---**
An impression of a fully operating press!
**[20:24] ---**
Draw the next one, moron!
**[20:26] ---**
"Fourth Match"
"Haiku"
**[20:28] ---**
"Fourth Match"
"Haiku"
What kind of match is "haiku"?
**[20:29] ---**
"Fourth Match"
"Haiku"
Shut up. It's hard to think
of 30 things, idiot.
**[20:34] ---**
Warble, warble, tweet--
**[20:35] ---**
Those mountains are so pretty--
There are rivers, too.
**[20:38] ---**
Ronaldo's looks like a five-year-old's
entry that gets put on a bottle label.
**[20:40] ---**
"Tea"
Ronaldo's looks like a five-year-old's
entry that gets put on a bottle label.
**[20:41] ---**
"Tea"
Matsuo Basho's rolling in his grave.
**[20:43] ---**
"Tea"
Shut up, scum!
**[20:47] ---**
O, the moon comes out--
**[20:49] ---**
The moon is beautiful--
It's a moonlit night.
**[20:52] ---**
Yours isn't much better.
**[20:53] ---**
He lives on a planet with three moons...
**[20:56] ---**
Mr. Goldie!
**[20:57] ---**
What's the verdict?!
**[20:58] ---**
I want to fart and go to sleep.
**[21:01] ---**
"1" "2" "3" 4" "5"
"Ronaldo"
"Draluc"
"Fifth Match"
**[21:03] ---**
You damn bastard! This is the last match!
**[21:06] ---**
The one who loses is buying the QS5 Pro!
**[21:12] ---**
"Dance Battle"
**[21:37] ---**
Wanna just split it?
**[21:39] ---**
Yeah.
**[21:41] ---**
All right! The QS5 Pro Ultra
Powerful Grade Justice X2!
**[21:45] ---**
We got it!
**[21:47] ---**
Now I can finally play *Bio Break 10-2*!
**[21:49] ---**
I can get Netflips and
watch *Alien Pole Dance*r!
**[21:56] ---**
"Violence" "Violence"
"Violence" "Violence"
**[22:02] ---**
Damn sand!
**[22:05] ---**
Youngster!
**[22:54] ---**
"Vamima!!!"
# Season 2
# E1 - Draluc, Friends, Almost Independent
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GMKUXVD21/draluc-friends-almost-independent)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:00] ---**
"Ronaldo Vampire Hunter Agency"
"Everyone welcome"
**[00:01] ---**
Whoops, sorry.
**[00:03] ---**
"No incoming signal."
**[00:11] ---**
Are you an idiot?!
Why did you pull out the power plug of the QS5?!
**[00:11] ---**
"Vampire - Draluc"
**[00:15] ---**
I said I was sorry!
**[00:15] ---**
"Vampire Hunter - Ronaldo"
**[00:17] ---**
Shut up, damn gamer!
**[00:19] ---**
Huh?!
**[00:20] ---**
Whatever. I can't believe this!
**[00:23] ---**
I won't stay at an agency like this!
**[00:26] ---**
You should've left during
season one of the anime, moron!
**[00:29] ---**
Huh?
**[00:30] ---**
"Everyone welcome"
**[00:33] ---**
The sign fell off!
**[00:36] ---**
Damn it, I hope that bastard doesn't come--
**[00:39] ---**
"John the Armadillo"
**[00:42] ---**
It'll be just the two of us
starting today, huh, John?
**[00:47] ---**
I'm sorry, John! I was just kidding!
**[00:50] ---**
It'll be fine, John. It's Draluc
we're talking about here.
**[00:54] ---**
He'll probably just read some magazines
at Vamima and then come wandering back.
**[01:01] ---**
Man, this week's *Champion* was great, too.
**[01:05] ---**
Now, Ronaldo, have you thought
about your actions--?
**[01:09] ---**
I-It's gone!
**[01:12] ---**
A vampire like me with ancient blood
cannot enter a home uninvited!
**[01:18] ---**
"Everyone welcome"
**[01:19] ---**
I was able to enter freely thanks to that sign,
but now I can't go back into the office!
**[01:26] ---**
Is Ronaldo seriously trying to throw me out?
**[01:31] ---**
If that's how he feels...
**[01:34] ---**
Then I really won't go back!
**[03:09] ---**
"Draluc, Friends, Almost Independent"
**[03:10] ---**
That Draluc bastard still hasn't come home!
**[03:14] ---**
And I'm hungry!
**[03:16] ---**
I don't care if you leave, but leave
a late-night snack at least, damn it!
**[03:21] ---**
John!
**[03:25] ---**
John, you're going to make something for me?
**[03:33] ---**
Don't be hasty, John!
**[03:35] ---**
Don't worry about it!
I'll use these eggs to make something.
**[03:41] ---**
Now, in order to use a bunch of eggs...
**[03:46] ---**
To get the flavor of soup stock...
**[03:48] ---**
Veggies, that can of stuff,
and something... Cheese, maybe?
**[03:54] ---**
Um... I made something
mixing in random stuff I found...
**[04:00] ---**
I-I'm sure it'll be edible once it's cooked.
**[04:06] ---**
That scared me!
**[04:08] ---**
And? You came here to see if someone
would let you stay with them?
**[04:09] ---**
"Vampire Hunter
[Hook Spider] Shot"
**[04:12] ---**
You've got some nerve.
**[04:14] ---**
I was going to show you my special
Draluc-technique of being an unwanted guest.
**[04:20] ---**
But the arm guy not being here
was a miscalculation.
**[04:23] ---**
You can use the bed.
I'll sleep on the floor.
**[04:26] ---**
That's probably what would happen,
but that's mean.
**[04:28] ---**
That must have been awful.
Wanna come to my place?
**[04:28] ---**
"Vampire Trainer
Senya Siriski"
**[04:31] ---**
No thanks.
**[04:32] ---**
My home is a Chinese restaurant.
You can stay with me!
**[04:32] ---**
"Vampire Hunter
[Extra-Toppings Chinese Food Girl] Ta Chan"
**[04:34] ---**
Whoa! I'll die from the garlic!
**[04:37] ---**
We've got space at my parents'
place. It's a little far, though.
**[04:37] ---**
"Vampire Hunter
[Bear-Killer] Maria"
**[04:40] ---**
I can't stay at a church, either!
**[04:42] ---**
No, it's a hunter's cabin
in the Tanzawa Mountains.
**[04:45] ---**
Sometimes we get bears.
**[04:46] ---**
Oh, yeah, you're a Matagi!
**[04:48] ---**
My place is close, and I've even got a room
in the basement just for vampires!
**[04:52] ---**
No thanks!
**[04:53] ---**
It comes with all kinds of amenities! There's
wi-fi! And the bath is spacious and clean!
**[04:56] ---**
No thanks!
**[04:58] ---**
It's fine! You just have
to wear this little thing.
**[05:00] ---**
No thank-- Ahh!
**[05:02] ---**
I'll be leaving now!
**[05:07] ---**
Why didn't he ask me?
**[05:14] ---**
Crap, is that a client?
**[05:16] ---**
Yes, this is Ronaldo--
**[05:18] ---**
'Evening!
**[05:20] ---**
We're from *Vampire Hunter Weekly*!
**[05:21] ---**
"*Vampire Hunter Weekly* Reporter - Kameya"
"*Vampire Hunter Weekly* Reporter - Rokuon"
**[05:23] ---**
I'm looking forward to today's interview!
**[05:26] ---**
R-Right... Th-Then,
what should I talk about...?
**[05:30] ---**
Oh, today's interview is with Draluc.
**[05:35] ---**
Huh?
**[05:36] ---**
Oh, no, no, no, it's nothing...
**[05:39] ---**
Just a moment!
**[05:41] ---**
Here, this is Draluc.
**[05:42] ---**
He's round, though?!
**[05:44] ---**
Oh, well, it doesn't matter
as long as we write an article.
**[05:47] ---**
Draluc, anything you want to say first?
**[05:55] ---**
Hey, Lord Dral--
**[05:55] ---**
I can't answer the phone right now.
**[05:58] ---**
Damn it! Where *is* he?!
**[06:01] ---**
Hey, sorry for the sudden intrusion.
***SIGN*** "Kanagawa Prefectural Police Vampire Control Division Tou Handa"
**[06:05] ---**
Good evening and thanks for having me.
**[06:06] ---**
Hah. This is just to get more dirt on Ronaldo.
**[06:10] ---**
"Handa"
**[06:10] ---**
A dhampir friend is a good thing to have.
**[06:13] ---**
Mother also just happened to be gone on a trip.
**[06:17] ---**
But if she comes back suddenly,
then I'll kill you.
**[06:20] ---**
Can't you just say you'll kick me out?
**[06:23] ---**
Thanks for having m--
**[06:25] ---**
What?!
**[06:26] ---**
Don't worry about it.
It's Mom--my mother's personal stuff.
**[06:26] ---**
"The War Chronicles of Ronaldo"
**[06:31] ---**
Hang in there, me!
It's still within expectations!
**[06:35] ---**
My room's on the second floor.
**[06:37] ---**
Oh, okay.
**[06:40] ---**
Thanks again for having m...
**[06:42] ---**
"Idiot!"
**[06:46] ---**
I'll let you have some hot celery tea!
**[06:49] ---**
This is a Ronaldo cushion that
screams when you step on it!
**[06:53] ---**
I didn't know they made merch like that!
**[06:55] ---**
I made it myself.
**[06:57] ---**
I'll be leaving now!
**[07:03] ---**
Oh, no. If I keep dawdling, the day will dawn.
**[07:06] ---**
All right, I'll go back to the office!
**[07:10] ---**
This part isn't anyone's home,
so I should just barely be able to get in.
**[07:13] ---**
And then I'll build a base below the floor.
**[07:17] ---**
Ronaldo, this is what "it's hard to see
what's under your nose" means.
**[07:25] ---**
The burdock root from
back then was still alive?!
**[07:30] ---**
It's only natural that you'd
be burning for revenge!
**[07:41] ---**
Since it's come to this, I'll turn into
a bat and fly to the office window!
**[07:45] ---**
If I can get John's attention,
I'm sure he'll let me in!
**[07:48] ---**
Transform!
**[07:57] ---**
This is my grossest transformation yet!
**[08:03] ---**
The pigeons think I'm an enemy! Stop it!
**[08:06] ---**
Now the chickens have joined in! Why?!
**[08:09] ---**
Ostriches...!
**[08:19] ---**
--You have reached--
**[08:19] ---**
--Damn it!
--You have reached--
**[08:21] ---**
What's that idiot doing?!
**[08:30] ---**
Ronaldo!
**[08:32] ---**
--Die!
--Sand...
**[08:38] ---**
It was your fault...
**[08:42] ---**
...that the sign fell off.
**[08:44] ---**
Put it back up later.
**[08:46] ---**
"Ronaldo Vampire Hunter Agency"
**[08:46] ---**
O-Oh, right...
***SIGN*** "Vamp Weekly" "Exclusive" "Interview with a Vampire Becomes an Armadillo Exposé!!" "Nu!! Nu, nu, nu!!! Nu, nu, nu-nu, nu-nuu nu-nu-nu, nu-nu-nu"
**[08:55] ---**
"Go, Ghost Hunters"
***SIGN*** "Kameya" "Today" "You free? Let's go drinking tonight! We can meet there"
**[08:58] ---**
Kameya's invited me to go out drinking.
**[09:00] ---**
Kameya... The reporter from *Vamp Weekly*?
**[09:04] ---**
Which means, you'll be tricked tonight
into doing some weird project,
**[09:08] ---**
like, "Ronaldo vs. Strange Foods!
You can't go home until you finish it all!"
**[09:08] ---**
"Take a bite and spit it out!!"
**[09:11] ---**
I'm not going to do that!
**[09:12] ---**
--Sand...
**[09:13] ---**
--There are times we just go out
drinking and eating normally!
--Sand...
**[09:14] ---**
--There are times we just go out
drinking and eating normally!
**[09:16] ---**
Despite everything, we've been friends
since high school, after all.
**[09:20] ---**
You might be the only one who
thinks of you guys as friends.
**[09:23] ---**
Why would you say something like that?!
**[09:25] ---**
Don't underestimate our friendship!
**[09:26] ---**
Die!
**[09:29] ---**
Yes. I can already see what's coming.
**[09:32] ---**
"Yabe Hospital"
**[09:32] ---**
Okay, now that we're all here...
**[09:35] ---**
Let's start *Vamp Weekly*'s special project--
**[09:37] ---**
"Ronaldo vs. A Ghost?!
Uncover the Bizarre Truth, Hunter!"
**[09:41] ---**
We can start by gathering material.
**[09:43] ---**
Ahh, I was tricked!
**[09:46] ---**
Stop screwing around! I was really looking
forward to a fun drinking party!
**[09:50] ---**
You should've known when you saw that
we were meeting at an abandoned hospital.
**[09:53] ---**
You're an idiot with no imagination, as usual.
**[09:56] ---**
Handa! What the hell are you doing here?!
**[09:59] ---**
He said he's here as an assistant slash
person-in-charge-of-making-fun-of-Ronaldo.
**[10:02] ---**
Was I the only one who
thought of us as friends...?
**[10:07] ---**
Anyway, what's with this hospital?
It's super scary!
**[10:09] ---**
It's one of those haunted spots
that are popular recently.
**[10:13] ---**
You can *see* things here...
**[10:17] ---**
Like the hospital director who
killed himself wandering around...
**[10:20] ---**
Or a bunch of children's ghosts
gathered together who want to play...
**[10:24] ---**
There were even people who
came here for a test of courage
**[10:26] ---**
who say they really saw something
or were attacked by something.
**[10:30] ---**
But you know, it's possible that it was
all caused by a vampire, too, right?
**[10:34] ---**
So, Ronaldo, you're here to investigate
and hunt whatever it is down!
**[10:37] ---**
Don't you think it'd make a great article?
**[10:39] ---**
If it really is a ghost,
then we'll change it to "Cursed Ronaldo!
**[10:42] ---**
Is There Any Way to Save Him?!
Special Feature," okay?
**[10:45] ---**
We're friends, right, Kameya?!
**[10:47] ---**
Wahh! "Artist's rendering of Cursed-aldo."
**[10:52] ---**
I'm gonna punch you, Handa,
I'll punch you, I really will, Handa!
**[10:56] ---**
Start exploring!
**[11:00] ---**
"It came out"
**[11:08] ---**
This place has a nice atmosphere.
**[11:16] ---**
What's wrong, Kameya?
**[11:18] ---**
Oh, nothing...
**[11:24] ---**
Some dumb suckers have come wandering in again!
**[11:28] ---**
I, the great vampire, Transparent Lower Body,
will suck up all your blood!
**[11:28] ---**
"Vampire - Transparent Lower Body"
**[11:33] ---**
"Idiot"
**[11:34] ---**
If I pretend to be a ghost,
I can trick the hunter,
**[11:36] ---**
and the urge to see something
scary will lure in the idiot.
**[11:39] ---**
It's the perfect plan!
Now, who should I start with for dinner?
**[11:44] ---**
I sense a vampire.
**[11:46] ---**
Really, Handa? Where?
**[11:47] ---**
Idiot. The vampire's close.
**[11:50] ---**
Crap! They figured it out already!
Damn it, that guy was a dhampir?!
**[11:54] ---**
That guy could cause trouble-- Huh?
**[11:58] ---**
Found you, Vampire!
**[12:02] ---**
Oh, it's just the Land Clione.
**[12:03] ---**
Why's there a Clione here?
**[12:05] ---**
I let it loose earlier to scout.
**[12:07] ---**
You walk around with that thing?!
**[12:09] ---**
I'll collect it later.
We're looking for ghosts right now.
**[12:14] ---**
Collect it now!
**[12:16] ---**
Damn it, my clothes are high-leg now!
**[12:19] ---**
You can't tell because my lower
body's transparent, but they are!
**[12:23] ---**
Damn it, I'll suck all their blood!
**[12:26] ---**
Although going up against all three of them
at once might be a little dangerous.
**[12:29] ---**
I'll pretend to be a ghost and
scare them to separate them.
**[12:33] ---**
Just watch... I'll give you
a taste of extraordinary terror!
**[12:40] ---**
This place is kind of chilly...
**[12:43] ---**
Really? You're not just getting
chills because you're scared...?
**[12:47] ---**
"Nurses' Station"
**[12:49] ---**
What's that? Handprints on the window...?
**[12:53] ---**
I want a shot at just the right moment!
I wonder if it'll come again...
**[12:56] ---**
How can you be so carefree---?
**[13:00] ---**
What's the matter, Handa?
**[13:08] ---**
Th-The shelf...
**[13:10] ---**
What the hell?
**[13:13] ---**
They're scared! They're scared!
And now, for the finishing touch!
**[13:19] ---**
Come, be scared!
**[13:22] ---**
Be scared and run around trying to escape!
**[13:28] ---**
We are, at this moment,
in the middle of a haunting!
**[13:33] ---**
Change of plan!
We'll do a last-minute internet stream!
**[13:36] ---**
*Vamp Weekly*'s Kameya and his friends
experiencing a real life haunting!
**[13:41] ---**
What?!
**[13:43] ---**
Ronaldo! Please try to get cursed by this doll!
**[13:48] ---**
No way! You do it yourself!
**[13:51] ---**
You're right! It would be interesting
for the reporter himself to be cursed.
**[13:55] ---**
--Come on, give me a good one on the first try!
**[13:57] ---**
--Huh...?
--Come on, give me a good one on the first try!
**[13:58] ---**
Oh, no! The cute little cursed doll
I spent so much time making!
**[14:02] ---**
Damn it...
**[14:03] ---**
It's not over yet! Take a blow
from these knockout scare goods!
**[14:05] ---**
"Remote-controlled arm (homemade)"
"Cost of production: 49,000 yen"
**[14:07] ---**
Bawl your eyes out! Run away in a panic!
**[14:12] ---**
What's that? Someone's arm?!
**[14:14] ---**
No, it's celery come to life!
**[14:21] ---**
My cute little remote-controlled arm!
**[14:23] ---**
You killed it, didn't you? Now you'll be
haunted by the celery's ghost!
**[14:28] ---**
I've been cursed...!
**[14:30] ---**
All right, come here! I'll make you my dinner!
**[14:32] ---**
Cursed-cele...!
**[14:35] ---**
You idiot human!
**[14:39] ---**
Huh?
**[14:41] ---**
All right, I've got him!
**[14:45] ---**
This guy's lower body is transparent.
He looks like a ghost.
**[14:49] ---**
So it *was* a vampire after all! Well done.
**[14:53] ---**
Did you see that? It's just like I said!
**[14:55] ---**
Wh-What's the meaning of this?
**[14:58] ---**
We knew you were here a long time ago.
**[15:01] ---**
There was a presence other than the Clione's.
We put on a little act for you.
**[15:08] ---**
You're the one terrorizing
the public, aren't you?!
**[15:11] ---**
The handprints on the windows and
the hair in the walls were scary, damn it!
**[15:14] ---**
Give us the details behind your tricks!
**[15:16] ---**
U-U-U-Um... i-it was just a sudden impulse...
**[15:20] ---**
Huh?
**[15:21] ---**
Handprints on the windows?
**[15:23] ---**
All I did was make the shelf
fall down and prepare the doll...
**[15:36] ---**
Let's play...
**[15:57] ---**
Oh, that really happened?
**[16:00] ---**
Yeah.
**[16:01] ---**
I learned that there are things in this world
you shouldn't touch recklessly.
**[16:07] ---**
Kameya!
**[16:09] ---**
Ronaldo, about that real one...
***SIGN*** "Vamp Weekly" "A real ghost" "In-depth special!!"
**[16:12] ---**
I got some really good shots,
so you should take a look!
**[16:15] ---**
I'm really proud of the write-up, too!
**[16:16] ---**
You wrote an article about it?!
**[16:18] ---**
It's selling like crazy!
**[16:20] ---**
"Real ghost pics
100 yen/picture"
**[16:21] ---**
Okay, everyone!
**[16:23] ---**
Welcome to the haunted house with a real ghost!
**[16:26] ---**
Acchan, we've got guests!
**[16:30] ---**
Yay!
**[16:33] ---**
Let's play...!
**[16:35] ---**
"Name: Acchan"
**[16:36] ---**
Nice to meet you!
**[16:39] ---**
"Draluc the Silent Jammer"
**[16:48] ---**
Crap, crap, crap, I can't make the deadline!
**[16:50] ---**
*The War Chronicles of Ronaldo:*
*Side Story* deadline is today!
**[16:53] ---**
At this rate, Mr. Fukuma will disappear
something important to me!
**[16:57] ---**
Crap, crap, crap, crap,
crap, crap, crap, crap...
**[16:59] ---**
No, calm down, Ronaldo!
**[17:01] ---**
You've experienced this crisis many times,
and you've overcome it every time!
**[17:05] ---**
All right, this'll work! I can do it!
**[17:07] ---**
If I focus and write for two hours straight,
I think I can make it! Probably!
**[17:14] ---**
Now, to sharpen my mind and dive into the zone!
**[17:30] ---**
I'm concentrating on my writing here, moron!
**[17:33] ---**
If you make another sound,
I'll plant a tomato plant in your ashes!
**[17:49] ---**
Calm down, Ronaldo. You'll just be doing
what he wants if you react.
**[17:53] ---**
The killing can come later! Kill him later!
Kill him dead two trillion times later!
**[17:59] ---**
Just ignore him for now.
**[18:00] ---**
I won't break my concentration
no matter what you do!
**[18:15] ---**
Don't do that with a straight face!
I'll see it in my dreams!
**[18:18] ---**
You're not even the type
to do this kind of thing!
**[18:21] ---**
Why do you only put your body on
the line when you're bothering me?!
**[18:24] ---**
Damn it, I'm ignoring you!
Go and be out of character on your own!
**[18:30] ---**
"1st Ever Ronaldo Impressions Contest"
**[18:32] ---**
Don't prepare props, too!
**[18:35] ---**
"Ronaldo when the salad he orders
at a restaurant has celery in it"
**[18:38] ---**
I'll kill you! My eyebrows don't
look like that! I'll kill you!
**[18:41] ---**
"Ronaldo when he smells boots that were worn
for a long time and thinks, 'This stinks!'"
**[18:43] ---**
You, too, John?!
**[18:45] ---**
"Next, the Pantomime Contest"
**[18:46] ---**
Don't move on to the next thing!
**[18:51] ---**
You're so bad at it, too! I can't tell
a single thing you're trying to pantomime!
**[18:55] ---**
You're just an old guy
messing around by yourself!
**[18:58] ---**
Your movements are the same
as the dance from earlier!
**[19:00] ---**
They're all mixed up now! You can't
keep it straight either, can you?
**[19:03] ---**
Don't flip it back!
**[19:04] ---**
Don't pretend that part didn't happen
just because it didn't go over well!
**[19:09] ---**
"Ronaldo when he's explaining how big
the boobs on the lady he passed earlier were"
**[19:09] ---**
I thought at least you
would be on my side, John!
**[19:13] ---**
No, that's not it. John's kind, so he's
just trying to make me relax! John!
**[19:18] ---**
Yeah! It's just that damn Dral!
**[19:20] ---**
I'm never going along with
your stupid games again!
**[19:24] ---**
Concentrate on work...
***SIGN*** "Variety Draluc" "Guess the Illustration ~What's this drawing?~"
**[19:33] ---**
"Answer: Zebra"
**[19:33] ---**
You're so bad at this!
**[19:35] ---**
You call that a zebra?!
I can barely tell that it's an animal!
**[19:39] ---**
If I were the director,
I'd break the board on my knee!
**[19:39] ---**
"#2"
**[19:42] ---**
I can't believe you can so confidently
put out another one like that!
**[19:52] ---**
"Answer: Armadillo"
**[19:52] ---**
That's the same as a zebra!
**[19:55] ---**
Now you're just trying to look like it!
**[19:57] ---**
Damn it! Damn it!
Calm down, Ronaldo.
**[20:01] ---**
Be cool! *Be cool*.
You lose if you react.
**[20:04] ---**
Work. Do your work. Get in the zone.
**[20:08] ---**
Focus your mind on the words--
**[20:09] ---**
"a zebra was"
**[20:14] ---**
That's it! I'm not looking anymore!
Focus on the screen!
**[20:18] ---**
I'm not lifting my face again!
**[20:22] ---**
Monkey? What kind of message is that?
**[20:25] ---**
Are you trying to say that I'm like a monkey?
**[20:30] ---**
There's another one! And it's evolved a little!
**[20:33] ---**
Oh... Four million years of human history
are being recreated on my desk!
**[20:39] ---**
I wonder why they're always stepping
with their right foot in these images...
**[20:44] ---**
No! Narrow your vision!
Focus, Ronaldo, on work!
**[20:53] ---**
Don't you step with your right foot, too!
**[20:56] ---**
I'll turn around! I'll work facing the back!
**[20:59] ---**
Serves you right! Now you won't
be able to get in my field of vision!
**[21:04] ---**
Goodbye, Lord Dral!
**[21:09] ---**
Damn it!
**[21:10] ---**
You're all trying to bug me--
**[21:17] ---**
"Start"
**[21:23] ---**
Don't mess up there!
**[21:25] ---**
After constructing something so big,
why didn't you figure out the details properly?!
**[21:29] ---**
Anyway, how could you use John as a ball agai--?
**[21:34] ---**
Ronaldo.
**[21:35] ---**
Wait. I know.
**[21:37] ---**
But first, please allow me to sing a song.
**[21:40] ---**
That's fine. Go ahead.
**[21:45] ---**
I knew (I knew)
**[21:48] ---**
I knew (I knew)
**[21:51] ---**
I knew what the punchline would be
**[21:57] ---**
I knew (I knew)
**[21:59] ---**
I knew Oh
**[22:03] ---**
From about the second page, I knew
**[22:11] ---**
I knew
**[22:23] ---**
Actually, if anything
**[22:28] ---**
I could kind of feel it coming
**[22:34] ---**
From the first page
**[22:36] ---**
I knew
**[22:40] ---**
(Nu Nu Nu Nu)
**[22:41] ---**
I knew (I knew)
**[22:44] ---**
I knew (I knew)
**[22:47] ---**
I knew what the punchline would be
**[22:52] ---**
I knew (I knew)
**[22:55] ---**
I knew Oh
**[22:59] ---**
Kill Draluc
**[23:01] ---**
And then the summer ends
**[23:06] ---**
Nu Nu Nu Nu
**[23:18] ---**
"A new land"
**[23:22] ---**
"I pray for your continued good fortune in war"
**[23:28] ---**
Hey, armed deployment--
**[23:29] ---**
Stop that, idiot! Shut up!
**[23:30] ---**
Will yelling make you stron--?
**[23:31] ---**
I said, stop it!
**[23:36] ---**
The vampire dies in no time.
**[23:39] ---**
**[23:41] ---**
# E2 - From Tokyo to Neo-Bayside
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GVWU09GKN/from-tokyo-to-neo-bayside)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:01] ---**
Yeah, I've pretty much defeated
all the vampires around here.
**[00:06] ---**
It's a tiny town, but I hear
they've got a lot of vampires.
**[00:11] ---**
That's fine. I'll exterminate them all.
**[01:49] ---**
"From Tokyo to Neo-Bayside"
**[01:55] ---**
So this is Shin-Yokohama...
**[01:58] ---**
My new battlefield.
**[02:08] ---**
Who's that?
**[02:09] ---**
It's the guy from Tokyo
they said was coming today...
**[02:11] ---**
Oh, the dhampir!
**[02:13] ---**
"Vampire Hunter
Mikazuki Kagomehara"
**[02:13] ---**
I'm Mikazuki Kagomehara. Nice to meet you.
**[02:16] ---**
Yes, nice to meet you.
**[02:19] ---**
Welcome to the Shin-Yokohama guild!
**[02:21] ---**
Welcome.
**[02:22] ---**
You came such a long way from Tokyo!
**[02:24] ---**
We're really thankful!
**[02:26] ---**
They all sound like they're trying
to butter me up.
**[02:28] ---**
It pisses me off.
**[02:30] ---**
Let's do our best together!
**[02:32] ---**
I didn't come here to make friends.
**[02:35] ---**
I came here to exterminate
the vampires of this town.
**[02:38] ---**
And to make up for you all not doing your jobs.
**[02:41] ---**
That's Tokyo for ya! You know just what to say!
**[02:43] ---**
He's so passionate!
**[02:45] ---**
So dependable!
**[02:46] ---**
Do these guys have no pride?
**[02:48] ---**
What's with this rude brat?
**[02:51] ---**
*You're* the rude one!
**[02:53] ---**
Sand...!
**[02:55] ---**
You've reached the Shin-Yokohama Hunters Guild.
**[02:59] ---**
Everyone, we've got a job.
**[03:04] ---**
I feel the presence of
a vampire. This way!
**[03:07] ---**
"Inferior Vampire - Eight-Eyed Leech"
**[03:11] ---**
This prey's not bad.
**[03:13] ---**
Get back!
**[03:17] ---**
Pseudo-Kagomehara Style, Armed Deployment!
**[03:22] ---**
Sword-Drawing Technique 1, Tsukuyomi!
**[03:30] ---**
Shoka! Just now, Mikazuki tried to do
some kind of ultimate move, didn't he?!
**[03:35] ---**
Isn't that unnecessary for small fry?
**[03:36] ---**
Hey, what's "armed deployment"?
**[03:38] ---**
Idiot, shut up!
**[03:40] ---**
Does yelling making you stronger or something?
**[03:42] ---**
I told you to stop!
**[03:44] ---**
"Inferior Vampire
Shin-Yoko Galapagos Finch"
**[03:47] ---**
Fresh troops?!
**[03:48] ---**
Armed Deployment!
**[03:52] ---**
Wh-What are they?!
**[03:54] ---**
Oh? A new vampire hunter?
**[03:55] ---**
"Vampire - Nudenium"
**[03:57] ---**
What's with this pervert?!
**[03:59] ---**
Oh, he's a good guy, so you don't
have to exterminate him.
**[04:02] ---**
A good guy?!
**[04:04] ---**
Isn't it a wonderful night, Hunters?
**[04:06] ---**
What are you doing, Old Man Nude?
**[04:08] ---**
I came to distribute baby Nudeniums
as part of the greenery campaign.
**[04:13] ---**
Even if he's a good guy, if he does something
bad, you've gotta take care of him.
**[04:15] ---**
Like this!
**[04:17] ---**
A superior vampire who can control plants?!
Why is someone so dangerous--?
**[04:23] ---**
Mikazuki!
**[04:24] ---**
"Do Not Climb"
**[04:25] ---**
"Do Not Climb"
"Vampire - Etiquette Breacher"
**[04:26] ---**
I'll embarrass you hunters!
**[04:29] ---**
You bastard! I'll exterminate you!
**[04:31] ---**
Armed Deploym--
**[04:35] ---**
So lame!
**[04:39] ---**
Didn't I tell you to stop doing stuff like that?
**[04:41] ---**
You must be surprised by how
many vampires there are here.
**[04:44] ---**
It's hard coming to Shin-Yoko
after being in Tokyo.
**[04:46] ---**
And all we get are these
weird superior vampires.
**[04:50] ---**
The vampire sealed inside Tokoya
Shrine is drawing them here.
**[04:53] ---**
Don't feed him rumors!
**[04:55] ---**
It's true that we need help
because we never get anyone new.
**[04:57] ---**
So we're really happy that you're here.
**[05:02] ---**
That's right! So cheer up, okay?
**[05:05] ---**
These guys...
**[05:06] ---**
They think I'm a pleasant sight...
**[05:09] ---**
They're looking at me warmly, like how people
working for black companies look
**[05:13] ---**
when they finally get a new employee...!
**[05:17] ---**
Mikazuki!
**[05:19] ---**
Don't underestimate me!
I'm a first-class hunter!
**[05:24] ---**
I feel the presence of a strong vampire...!
**[05:29] ---**
Vampires! I will exterminate you!
***SIGN*** "Vampire - Transparent Lower Body" "Vampire - Micro Bikini" "Vampire - Yakyuken Lover"
**[05:31] ---**
What, you a hunter?
**[05:34] ---**
You've got some nerve.
**[05:36] ---**
Yay!
**[05:37] ---**
Armed Deploy--
**[05:38] ---**
Nice to meet you! *Yoyoinoyoi!*
**[05:42] ---**
My body just started playing
strip rock-paper-scissors!
**[05:44] ---**
And I will give you a new outfit!
**[05:47] ---**
A pervert!
**[05:51] ---**
I'm a good vampire,
**[05:54] ---**
so I'll just take pictures and
post them on social media.
**[05:57] ---**
Stop it!
**[05:58] ---**
Mikazuki!
**[06:00] ---**
You idiot vampires!
Don't bully our new hunter!
**[06:04] ---**
I'll send you all flying, so line up over there!
**[06:06] ---**
Sounds fun. I'll beat you at your own game.
**[06:09] ---**
Humans, today's the day
you'll surrender to my bikinis!
**[06:15] ---**
Are you all right, Mikazuki?!
**[06:19] ---**
I'm pathetic... I didn't know anything...
**[06:24] ---**
I looked down on you all.
**[06:26] ---**
On top of that, I was exposed
so shamefully like this...
**[06:31] ---**
I'm so unsightly...
**[06:33] ---**
Th-That's not true!
You did good, Mikazuki!
**[06:37] ---**
We ended up in bikinis before, too.
**[06:39] ---**
You're much better than Shot
when he first got here!
**[06:41] ---**
You sound like you're picking a fight, Ronaldo.
**[06:46] ---**
Let's do our best together from now on, okay?
**[06:55] ---**
Today, I learned of my own inexperience.
**[06:59] ---**
But that's fine. I'll become stronger--
**[07:02] ---**
Are you a hunter?
**[07:05] ---**
Perfect timing.
It's not my nature to end on a loss.
**[07:10] ---**
If you want to fight,
I won't hold back... vampire!
**[07:13] ---**
Armed Deploy--
**[07:15] ---**
You're my type!
**[07:21] ---**
Hmm...
**[07:23] ---**
Mikazuki said he's going back to Tokyo.
**[07:26] ---**
Mikazuki!
**[07:29] ---**
I can't take any more of this town.
**[07:33] ---**
"Exciting Draluc Surveillance Diary"
**[07:33] ---**
I am Hinaichi of the Kanagawa Prefectural
Police Vampire Control Division.
***SIGN*** "Kanagawa Prefectural Police Vampire Control Division Vice-Captain Hinaichi"
**[07:38] ---**
Tonight, I will continue my surveillance
mission of the vampire, Draluc.
**[07:43] ---**
Why did you come out of the floor?!
Come in through the door, idiot!
**[07:47] ---**
Because you've been making
hiding places in the floor,
**[07:49] ---**
the office floor's been rickety!
**[07:52] ---**
Since I was interrupted, once again,
**[07:54] ---**
I am Hinaichi of the Kanagawa Prefectural
Police Vampire Control Division.
**[07:56] ---**
Hey, listen!
**[07:58] ---**
Now, I will begin my mission to conduct
surveillance on the vampire, Draluc.
**[08:03] ---**
Vampires sleep in coffins during
the day and awaken at night.
**[08:08] ---**
Draluc is no exception.
**[08:14] ---**
It's a wonderful evening, isn't it, Miss?
**[08:18] ---**
Were you waiting for me to awaken?
**[08:21] ---**
If you're baring the nape of your
neck for me to break my fas--
**[08:23] ---**
The room's so cold! Sand!
**[08:27] ---**
The remote! The remote!
The remote! The remote!
**[08:34] ---**
This is the object of my surveillance,
the vampire, Draluc.
**[08:37] ---**
He dies at every little thing and turns to dust.
**[08:41] ---**
He's the weakest vampire in the world.
**[08:44] ---**
Oh, dear.
**[08:46] ---**
Why am I surveilling someone like that?
Please don't ask.
**[08:50] ---**
Help me, Ronaldo!
**[08:53] ---**
My pets have turned into vampires.
**[08:55] ---**
Do something about it.
**[08:56] ---**
Very well! I, the vampire, Draluc,
will use Ronaldo to take on that job!
**[09:02] ---**
Really?!
**[09:03] ---**
Thanks!
**[09:05] ---**
If Draluc thinks something sounds interesting,
he will meddle, even if it's hunter work.
**[09:10] ---**
These are Hercules beetle larvae.
**[09:13] ---**
Did they *all* turn into vampires?!
**[09:15] ---**
It looks like some haven't.
**[09:17] ---**
I dunno.
**[09:18] ---**
Sort through them for us.
**[09:19] ---**
It's not like sorting aluminum and steel cans!
**[09:21] ---**
I have a game I must play,
so I'll take my leave--
**[09:24] ---**
Damn you, scum!
**[09:25] ---**
Okay, I'll come back and get them tomorrow!
**[09:27] ---**
--Later!
--See ya!
**[09:28] ---**
Wait a minute, you damn kids!
**[09:31] ---**
Now, what shall I do while Ronaldo
is sifting through the grubs?
**[09:36] ---**
It seems Draluc can be too hedonistic sometimes.
**[09:40] ---**
I must tell him to refrain from
actions that could invite trouble.
**[09:45] ---**
I've got an apple. Shall I bake a cake?
**[09:49] ---**
That sounds nice. I want some!
**[09:55] ---**
It's so yummy!
**[09:56] ---**
What the hell did you come here to do?!
**[09:59] ---**
Damn it! This would be so much
easier if Handa were here...
**[10:05] ---**
John! That's so nice of you!
**[10:11] ---**
Hello, and thanks for watching
Shabu-Shabu Videos!
**[10:14] ---**
Today, I'll play a game
I just bought the other day.
**[10:18] ---**
Even though he's a vampire
who has lived a long time,
**[10:20] ---**
Draluc has adapted well to modern life.
**[10:24] ---**
"I want a 'nu' channel"
"the armadillo's cute"
**[10:27] ---**
I'm intentionally not using the target lock
and sticking close to the enemy!
**[10:30] ---**
My best chance to attack
comes after the dodge roll!
**[10:33] ---**
What is he talking about?
**[10:35] ---**
Sometimes I feel like he's adapted *too* well.
**[10:38] ---**
Hinaichi, you try, too.
**[10:41] ---**
I don't really know what I'm doing!
***SIGN*** "My little Dra-Dra..." "I won't allow it" "you're married?" "my precious little Dra-Dra" "you died after that"
***SIGN*** "lets set this on fire" "completely inexcusable" "sinner dra-dra" "let's burn this" "I won't watch your streams anymore!"
***SIGN*** "Goodbye little Dra-Dra" "count your sins" "I won't forgive you even if you cry" "don't make him cry" "John stream next week"
**[10:45] ---**
Oh, no! They're angry now!
**[10:48] ---**
Sand...
**[10:49] ---**
John, put out the fire!
**[10:52] ---**
"Nu"
"Nu"
"Nu" "Nu"
**[10:55] ---**
Now, Shabu-viewers, bye-bye!
**[11:02] ---**
Draluc, you...
**[11:04] ---**
...aren't like a vampire at all, huh?
**[11:07] ---**
Sand...
**[11:10] ---**
Oh, dear. Human foolishness is irredeemable!
**[11:14] ---**
Very well! I'll show you how vampire-like I am
and sear the image into your mind!
**[11:20] ---**
He's in kind of a weird mood now.
**[11:23] ---**
First, I can resurrect immediately after I die!
**[11:26] ---**
But then you'll die again right away.
**[11:28] ---**
And look at these sharp fangs!
**[11:30] ---**
I've never seen you use them.
**[11:32] ---**
And these pointy ears! If I try
really hard, I can move them a little.
**[11:38] ---**
"Vampire"
**[11:38] ---**
"Vampire-like characteristics"...
**[11:46] ---**
Here's your proof!
This is what vampires are like!
**[11:49] ---**
"Transform"
"Fly"
"Suck Blood" "Tsujigiri" "Lewd Talk" "Other"
**[11:50] ---**
They transform! Fly! Suck blood!
**[11:53] ---**
First, I'll transform into a bat! Here!
**[11:57] ---**
One more!
**[11:59] ---**
Never give up!
**[12:00] ---**
Is this hell?
**[12:01] ---**
And then, flying!
**[12:03] ---**
Don't give in to your despair!
**[12:05] ---**
"Old-Man-Legs Ostrich"
**[12:11] ---**
Somehow, I got away with just a fatal injury.
**[12:14] ---**
I'm sorry, okay?
**[12:17] ---**
Now, last is the long-awaited blood sucking...
**[12:22] ---**
This is a Special Grade-1 AOC-certified
bottle of lifeblood my father sent.
**[12:26] ---**
I'm opening this.
**[12:30] ---**
The blood is from a special
virgin donor in her 20s
**[12:30] ---**
"Luxury"
**[12:32] ---**
with type B blood who went
through a vigorous screening.
**[12:36] ---**
Using an alternating-day donation
blood collection method,
**[12:37] ---**
it's a non-blended bottle that
you rarely see these days!
**[12:40] ---**
More than just the price,
**[12:42] ---**
it's a special product that hardly
ever appears on the market!
**[12:44] ---**
And I'm opening it!
Even though it's not even my birthday!
**[12:48] ---**
You don't have to open it if you don't want to.
**[12:50] ---**
I've already decided!
**[12:52] ---**
I'll show you I can suck blood like a vampire!
**[12:55] ---**
You don't attack humans
like a vampire, though, huh?
**[12:58] ---**
Now! O-Open!
**[13:01] ---**
O-O-Open, open!
**[13:04] ---**
I'll open it for you.
**[13:07] ---**
Here you go.
**[13:11] ---**
I finally finished sorting them, damn it.
**[13:16] ---**
Sand...
**[13:18] ---**
Oh, sorry, Draluc!
**[13:21] ---**
Painful, but delicious!
**[13:22] ---**
You little-- Hey, the room's
gonna smell like blood--
**[13:27] ---**
Get away, you inferior vampires!
This is mine--!
**[13:31] ---**
Oh, sand...!
**[13:32] ---**
Draluc!
**[13:42] ---**
My name is Herakuro Kingdom!
**[13:44] ---**
"Vampiric Beetle Colony King
Herakuro Kingdom"
**[13:46] ---**
Humans...!
**[13:51] ---**
Vampires are supernatural beings.
**[13:54] ---**
They can be threatened
by even the smallest things.
**[13:58] ---**
I fight to defend against those threats.
**[14:01] ---**
Help me clean!
**[14:03] ---**
Oh, my. That was rough.
**[14:07] ---**
Shall I bake some cookies as a diversion?
**[14:10] ---**
Would you like some, Hinaichi?
**[14:13] ---**
Yes, please!
**[14:15] ---**
"Shin-Yokohama Police Station"
**[14:15] ---**
And so... the cookies were delicious!
**[14:20] ---**
Don't let the cookies
overwrite all your memories.
**[14:23] ---**
"Vampiric"
**[14:23] ---**
And here's a souvenir.
**[14:25] ---**
No thanks!
**[14:27] ---**
I like donuts, too!
**[14:30] ---**
"Closed Today"
"Ronaldo Vampire Hunter Agency"
***SIGN*** "Quest of Soul Gate: Investigators of the Soul" "Closed Today" "Ronaldo Vampire Hunter Agency"
**[14:31] ---**
Ronaldo's out shopping today, so he's not here!
**[14:36] ---**
Right now, this is my castle.
**[14:38] ---**
Speaking of which, today's a full moon, John.
**[14:41] ---**
Moon viewing while playing
video games is fun, too.
**[14:45] ---**
Mr. Fukuma?! Sand...
**[14:48] ---**
Excuse me for coming so late at night.
**[14:51] ---**
Ronaldo isn't home! You should hurry
if you want to catch him!
**[14:54] ---**
No, I'm here for you today, Draluc.
**[14:57] ---**
Me?
**[14:58] ---**
Draluc, will you try writing a game review?
**[15:03] ---**
I heard that you know a lot about games.
**[15:07] ---**
I'd like to ask you to write a review for
a new project for our gaming magazine.
**[15:11] ---**
As expected of Mr. Fukuma!
You have a discerning eye!
**[15:13] ---**
I'll write the best review you've ever seen.
**[15:16] ---**
Thank you very much.
**[15:17] ---**
The game we'd like you to review
is called *Quest of Soul Gate*--
**[15:22] ---**
Oh? Do you know it?
**[15:24] ---**
W-Well, um...
**[15:26] ---**
Of course I know it!
**[15:28] ---**
It's an infamous ultra-shitty game
said to rot your brain in five minutes!
**[15:33] ---**
D-Did you choose this game, Mr. Fukuma?
**[15:36] ---**
No. It was recommended
by the editor-in-chief.
**[15:39] ---**
Sand...!
**[15:41] ---**
V-Very well. I will contact
you once I finish it--
**[15:44] ---**
Editor-in-Chief, I'm working on the game
project, so I won't be back to the office today.
**[15:49] ---**
What?!
**[15:51] ---**
I'm embarrassed to admit this,
but I don't often play video games.
**[15:55] ---**
Please allow me to watch for future reference.
**[15:58] ---**
This is bad. If I disparage this game, I will be
disparaging the editor-in-chief's choice!
**[16:03] ---**
That is to say, I'll be making enemies out of
a group of people armed with battle axes!
**[16:08] ---**
No matter how shitty this game is,
my only choice is to praise its socks off!
**[16:12] ---**
I'm looking forward to seeing
what kind of game this is...
**[16:25] ---**
First shitty element: A load time long enough
for you to go to the bathroom.
**[16:29] ---**
What are we waiting for?
**[16:31] ---**
This is the time to train your spirit!
**[16:33] ---**
It's a wonderful system that allows you
to foster patience before you start playing!
**[16:38] ---**
It reminds me of our New
Employee Training Program.
**[16:41] ---**
We were locked in a dark
and silent room for three days.
**[16:44] ---**
Only those who could stay calm through
that were worthy of becoming editors.
**[16:50] ---**
What a profound game this is
that it even includes training.
**[16:52] ---**
Y-Yes...
**[16:54] ---**
Hurry up and come home, Ronaldo!
Come act as an intermediary!
**[16:58] ---**
Oh, the load--I mean, training time is over.
**[17:02] ---**
The quest soul gate is opening now! Wow!
**[17:05] ---**
Second shitty element:
Volume control is rough!
**[17:09] ---**
Oh, it's too loud! Sand...
**[17:11] ---**
Excuse me, what did you say?
**[17:14] ---**
An explosion of sound that creates
a sense of realism!
**[17:16] ---**
This audio clipping is the perfect spice!
**[17:18] ---**
Incidentally, what kind of story
does this game have?
**[17:22] ---**
Oh, I think the summary was in the booklet.
**[17:27] ---**
Third shitty element: A story that sounds like
it was written by a third grader.
**[17:33] ---**
It appears to be the story of the main character
exploring a Western-style house.
**[17:36] ---**
So simple.
**[17:38] ---**
Oh, we're finally in the main story.
Apparently, this is the main character.
**[17:43] ---**
Fourth shitty element: The main character looks
completely different from the packaging.
**[17:49] ---**
Th-The philosophical character design that
brings to mind modern art is wonderful.
**[17:53] ---**
I see. It's very avant-garde.
**[17:56] ---**
These jerky movements!
**[17:59] ---**
That's a unique way of walking.
**[18:00] ---**
Th-The unique handling shows how
original it is down to the very system!
**[18:09] ---**
You die irrationally easily!
**[18:12] ---**
That's right! You never know when
the flame of life will be extinguished!
**[18:17] ---**
It's so realistic!
**[18:19] ---**
You look like you're dying, too.
**[18:21] ---**
Excuse me. I'm empathizing too much.
I'll pull myself back together and--
**[18:25] ---**
The quest soul gate is opening now! Wow!
**[18:28] ---**
Why is this shitty game starting
again from the beginning?!
**[18:33] ---**
It leaves a stronger impression
by repeating the same footage.
**[18:36] ---**
In music, it's called a refrain!
**[18:38] ---**
Once it's "game over,"
you'll understand its worth!
**[18:43] ---**
Building on the experience
from earlier and moving on...
**[18:51] ---**
The quest soul gate is opening now! Wow!
**[18:53] ---**
Oh, damn it!
**[18:57] ---**
Please excuse me. It seems I lacked focus.
**[19:00] ---**
Draluc.
**[19:01] ---**
Yes?
**[19:02] ---**
Is it that you actually think
this game is boring?
**[19:05] ---**
What?! Of course not, I would never!
**[19:08] ---**
Since you're making mistakes,
**[19:10] ---**
I thought it might be because
you aren't engrossed in the game.
**[19:12] ---**
N-No... I-It's just...
**[19:20] ---**
It's just that I was distracted
trying to review it.
**[19:24] ---**
An instant-death trap that can't be
distinguished from the background!
**[19:27] ---**
A surprising trick to keep
players on their toes!
**[19:30] ---**
Unfair death on first play!
**[19:33] ---**
A wake-up call to the tepid games made
in recent years! A pioneer for a new era!
**[19:39] ---**
This is...!
**[19:40] ---**
"I love you, Sword" "That's fate"
**[19:40] ---**
The same graphic used for all the characters.
**[19:42] ---**
And if you don't talk to them in
the right order, you'll get confused!
**[19:45] ---**
"It's dangerous there" "Kill the enemy" "Hey"
"I love you, Sword" "That's fate"
**[19:46] ---**
A sharp game balance that doesn't
allow you to play carelessly!
**[19:50] ---**
"It's dangerous there" "Kill the enemy" "Hey"
"I love you, Sword" "That's fate"
**[19:52] ---**
Frequently occurring freezes!
**[19:54] ---**
It's all right. You're just
a little tired, right?
**[19:57] ---**
You should still have the spirit
to stand up again!
**[20:03] ---**
Finally!
**[20:05] ---**
I've reached the boss.
**[20:07] ---**
You play wonderfully, Draluc.
**[20:11] ---**
Once this door is opened, the final event--
**[20:15] ---**
"Please enter text here"
**[20:17] ---**
Gigaton-sized shitty element:
Incomplete final event.
**[20:25] ---**
Draluc?
**[20:27] ---**
Mr. Fukuma.
**[20:29] ---**
I have finally understood
the message of this game.
**[20:33] ---**
Namely, that there is no such thing as
completely finishing something in this world!
**[20:38] ---**
The cheap goals you show other people
are nothing more than illusions!
**[20:42] ---**
There may come a day when you must
face inequity, embrace sadness,
**[20:45] ---**
and fall to your knees in front of
a wall you can't do anything about.
**[20:49] ---**
But even so, our path continues!
**[20:52] ---**
It can be sophistry or lies!
Find meaning in setbacks and despair--!
**[20:57] ---**
Shut up, Dra--!
**[21:00] ---**
M-Mr. Fukuma, why are you here?
**[21:02] ---**
I turned in my manuscript already, didn't I?
**[21:05] ---**
I'm here today on a job for our game magazine.
**[21:08] ---**
It's for a new project proposed
by the editor-in-chief:
**[21:10] ---**
"Ultra-Shitty Game Reviews."
**[21:12] ---**
I came for Draluc.
**[21:14] ---**
Ultra-Shitty Game Reviews...
Ultra-Shitty Game Reviews...
**[21:18] ---**
Ultra-Shitty Game... Reviews...
**[21:22] ---**
Th-That sounds like another crazy project...
**[21:24] ---**
Sand!
**[21:31] ---**
Not bad for an amateur, I guess.
**[21:35] ---**
Yes, yes, thanks for your compliment.
**[21:39] ---**
Yes, hello, hello?
**[21:41] ---**
This is Fukuma.
**[21:42] ---**
Your review was very well-received.
**[21:45] ---**
O-Oh, I'm glad to hear it.
**[21:48] ---**
Now, about the next "Shitty Game" deadline...
**[21:53] ---**
The quest gate is openi--
**[23:25] ---**
"Many challenges"
**[23:28] ---**
"Insatiable ambition"
**[23:31] ---**
Shall I lend you a hand, Miss?
**[23:36] ---**
The vampire dies in no time.
**[23:39] ---**
**[23:41] ---**
# E3 - Lovecall of Sanzu
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/G31UX9JGE/lovecall-of-sanzu)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:01] ---**
"Autumn Books"
**[00:03] ---**
"Editors' Meeting in Progress"
**[00:09] ---**
"Autumn Books Editor - Sanzu"
**[00:30] ---**
"Autumn Books Editor-in-Chief - Go"
**[00:31] ---**
Match! The winner is Fukuma!
**[00:33] ---**
"Autumn Books Credo:
Sell three hundred million copies
of the first edition"
**[00:34] ---**
So, Fukuma will remain editor in charge of
*The Ronaldo Chronicles* for the present term.
**[00:38] ---**
I'm much obliged.
**[00:42] ---**
As expected, I didn't
stand a chance in the duel.
**[00:46] ---**
Even so...
**[00:48] ---**
*I'm* the one who will be in charge
of *The Ronaldo Chronicles*!
**[02:25] ---**
And so, I have come to Shin-Yokohama!
**[02:29] ---**
If I can't win at the editors' meeting,
**[02:31] ---**
then I just have to get the author
himself to ask to switch to me.
**[02:35] ---**
Come here!
**[02:36] ---**
Just you watch, Fukuma!
With this, *The War Chronicles of Rona*--?
**[02:39] ---**
Huh? Are you a client?
**[02:44] ---**
Ronaldo...!
**[02:45] ---**
Huh?!
**[02:50] ---**
It's R-R-R-R-R-Ronaldo!
**[02:52] ---**
Ronaldo in the flesh! Right in front of my eyes!
**[02:54] ---**
--The way you moved just now...
Are you all right?!
--He's so cool!
**[02:57] ---**
It's been a number of years since
I started following Ronaldo's work.
**[03:00] ---**
After I found out on his blog that he'd
be publishing an autobiographical novel,
**[03:02] ---**
I joined Autumn Books.
**[03:04] ---**
This is the only place for me!
**[03:07] ---**
But no thanks to that super strong,
super evil bastard, Fukuma,
**[03:10] ---**
I haven't been able to take over, and I'm
left grinding my teeth every day in anger.
**[03:13] ---**
But if I can get him to cut ties with Fukuma,
**[03:15] ---**
then I can finally be the editor in charge
of Ronaldo, whom I admire so much!
**[03:17] ---**
R-R-Ronaldo...
**[03:19] ---**
Y-Yes?
**[03:20] ---**
Will you do it with me?
**[03:21] ---**
Do what?!
**[03:22] ---**
I'll put you in gently!
I'll definitely make you big!
**[03:27] ---**
Wait! Wait just a minute!
**[03:29] ---**
C-Calm down!
**[03:30] ---**
This is our first time meeting, and we
don't have that kind of relationship...!
**[03:34] ---**
I'm being rude to Ronaldo...!
**[03:37] ---**
Please scold me.
**[03:38] ---**
That's too kinky for me!
**[03:41] ---**
S-So, what did you need from me?
**[03:44] ---**
That's all for now!
**[03:46] ---**
I still don't know what you wanted!
**[03:51] ---**
Why did it turn out like this?
**[03:54] ---**
You appear in need of help.
Shall I lend you a hand, Miss?
**[03:58] ---**
Y-You're... the vampire, Draluc?!
**[04:01] ---**
Indeed, I am.
**[04:03] ---**
Are you the small fry vampire that
first appears in volume 2, chapter 9?
**[04:06] ---**
I'm so jealous you get to
be partners with Ronaldo!
**[04:08] ---**
I'll kill you!
**[04:10] ---**
Please get his autograph for me!
**[04:11] ---**
Come on!
**[04:13] ---**
We've got another gross one like Handa.
**[04:19] ---**
I see.
**[04:21] ---**
In other words, you wanted to be the editor
in charge of *The Ronaldo Chronicles* so badly
**[04:25] ---**
that you ended up acting strangely ditzy.
**[04:28] ---**
Sand...
**[04:29] ---**
I'll kill you.
**[04:31] ---**
All right! I'll help you.
**[04:34] ---**
What?
**[04:35] ---**
You don't feel any obligation toward Fukuma?
**[04:38] ---**
If you're a better editor,
then it would help Ronaldo, too.
**[04:43] ---**
You...
**[04:45] ---**
If that'll result in a better book,
then I'll spare no effort!
**[04:49] ---**
I'm not doing this for your
entertainment, damn it!
**[04:53] ---**
Now, to help with your nerves...
**[04:57] ---**
...put that earpiece on and go in!
I'll tell you what to say!
**[05:01] ---**
Seems fishy!
**[05:02] ---**
It's fine, trust me.
**[05:05] ---**
Fine...
**[05:08] ---**
First, start over from the greeting!
**[05:12] ---**
S-Sorry about earlier...
**[05:14] ---**
Oh, um, hello...
**[05:15] ---**
M-My name is Sanzu, and I'm from Autumn Books.
**[05:18] ---**
Oh, you're from Autumn Books?
You should've said that from the start.
**[05:23] ---**
Okay, good.
**[05:24] ---**
So, what did you need from me?
**[05:26] ---**
Together... Let's work on...
*The Ronaldo Chronicles*...
**[05:30] ---**
Please be with me... *The Ronaldo*
*Chronicles* and me... with me...
**[05:33] ---**
Please form a union with me!
**[05:35] ---**
Idiot...!
**[05:37] ---**
"A union"?! Is that something dirty?!
**[05:39] ---**
No, that's not it...
**[05:41] ---**
She must mean this!
**[05:46] ---**
I still want to stay me!
**[05:48] ---**
Yes, you're lucky Ronaldo is also an idiot.
**[05:51] ---**
That's not it! I was trying to say,
"Let's work together"!
**[05:54] ---**
No, the problem is that
you're a little too direct.
**[05:58] ---**
Instead of asking right away, you should
make him like you first, don't you think?
**[06:01] ---**
First, casually compliment Ronaldo.
He's weak to flattery. It'll be easy.
**[06:09] ---**
Rona-- Ronaldo!
**[06:10] ---**
Y-Yes?!
**[06:11] ---**
You're an amazing writer!
**[06:14] ---**
Huh? Th-Thank you...
**[06:17] ---**
Being able to blow off deadlines
like they're nothing--
**[06:19] ---**
You're as bold as a master writer!
**[06:21] ---**
Oh, a body blow!
**[06:23] ---**
Being late every time isn't something
people can do normally!
**[06:27] ---**
It's proof that you're a big shot!
**[06:29] ---**
And stomping to rub salt in the wound!
**[06:33] ---**
Don't you think she did a wonderful job
driving back her opponent, John?
**[06:36] ---**
What?! Oh, no, Ronaldo...!
**[06:40] ---**
No, it is as you say.
**[06:43] ---**
I'm only able to get by somehow
thanks to Mr. Fukuma.
**[06:49] ---**
Without Mr. Fukuma,
I wouldn't be writing anymore.
**[06:55] ---**
Mr. Fukuma has really taken
such good care of me...
**[07:02] ---**
Ronaldo explodes with a series of counters!
**[07:07] ---**
Time out...
**[07:10] ---**
Sand!
**[07:11] ---**
Ronaldo trusts Mr. Fukuma more than I expected.
**[07:15] ---**
Why?! Fukuma's a super strong, super evil,
underhanded scum bastard!
**[07:19] ---**
Hmm, why don't you try bringing that up, then?
**[07:22] ---**
Huh? What do you mean?
**[07:24] ---**
Even Ronaldo should feel some
frustration toward Mr. Fukuma.
**[07:28] ---**
Don't you think griping about him together
will make him like you more?
**[07:32] ---**
I-I see!
**[07:35] ---**
Thank you for allowing me the time out.
**[07:36] ---**
Oh, it's fine.
**[07:37] ---**
B-But it must be tough for you, Ronaldo.
**[07:40] ---**
You know, because Mr. Fukuma's so extreme...
**[07:43] ---**
It's true that he can be extreme.
**[07:45] ---**
He's ripped my clothes to shreds
with his battle-axe before...
**[07:50] ---**
He bit!
**[07:51] ---**
Right? He always gets me with his axe,
too, so I'm like, "I'm gonna kill you"!
**[07:55] ---**
And on his desk, he's got like this shrine
of cats, which is basically pagan worship,
**[07:59] ---**
and for waterfall rituals he always enters
with his left elbow, which I don't get.
**[08:02] ---**
Like, who does that, right?
**[08:05] ---**
Miss Sanzu.
**[08:05] ---**
Yes?
**[08:08] ---**
You're really close to Mr. Fukuma, aren't you?
**[08:13] ---**
T-T-T-Time out...
**[08:18] ---**
Hmm, Ronaldo's dense, too.
All right! Time for our trump card.
**[08:21] ---**
Operation: Aim for His Heart!
**[08:25] ---**
Ronaldo is so unpopular with
girls it surprises even me.
**[08:28] ---**
If you just approach him a little,
he should be putty in your hands. Now, go!
**[08:35] ---**
R-Ronaldo!
**[08:37] ---**
Oh, my foot slipped!
**[08:40] ---**
Now!
**[08:45] ---**
Northern Lights Suplex!
**[08:51] ---**
Oh, I'm so sorry! That was an accident!
**[08:53] ---**
I-It's fine...
**[08:55] ---**
And Ronaldo's down!
**[08:57] ---**
One... Two...
**[08:59] ---**
Th-- Sand!
**[09:02] ---**
I *thought* something was weird!
It was *your* hand in it, scum idiot sand!
**[09:06] ---**
I'm sorry, Miss Sanzu.
**[09:08] ---**
Oh, no, I just...
**[09:11] ---**
You came to support Mr. Fukuma, right?
**[09:13] ---**
Why'd it end up like that?!
**[09:16] ---**
I didn't know Mr. Fukuma had
a junior he was so close to.
**[09:19] ---**
You said all that stuff about my
deadlines to fire me up, right?
**[09:23] ---**
And the wrestling move was for me to use
as reference for the action scenes, right?
**[09:27] ---**
That's stretching it a bit too far!
**[09:29] ---**
Th... That's not it...
**[09:32] ---**
I... um...
**[09:37] ---**
Ronaldo! Will you--?
**[09:40] ---**
Thanks for your hard work, Sanzu.
**[09:43] ---**
Your support and consideration make me so happy.
**[09:49] ---**
D-Don't tell me... from the start...
**[09:52] ---**
Did it help with your action scenes?
**[09:54] ---**
Yeah, it was very effective.
**[09:56] ---**
Thank you for taking care of my junior.
**[09:58] ---**
Oh, I didn't do that much.
**[10:00] ---**
Sand! Shining Wizard!
**[10:06] ---**
I finally appeared in the anime!
**[10:10] ---**
Hello, everyone. I'm Sagyo
from the Vampire Control Division.
**[10:10] ---**
"Do Your Best, Sagyo"
**[10:11] ---**
"Do Your Best, Sagyo"
"Kanagawa Prefectural Police
Vampire Control Division - Sagyo"
**[10:14] ---**
Everyone knows who I am by now, right?
**[10:14] ---**
"My name is Sagyo."
**[10:16] ---**
"My name is Sagyo."
"You haven't forgotten, have you?"
**[10:17] ---**
"My name is Sagyo."
"You haven't forgotten, have you?"
"I'm Sagyo."
**[10:19] ---**
Our duty is to protect the public
and their way of life.
**[10:22] ---**
Our various members resolve problems every day!
**[10:26] ---**
I'm still new at this, but I'll do
my best to catch up to my seniors.
**[10:30] ---**
Now, I'll do my best today, too!
**[10:35] ---**
How's that, Ronaldo?!
You can't do a thing against me!
**[10:39] ---**
What's wrong? Aren't you coming in, Sagyo?
**[10:41] ---**
This is one of my seniors, Tou Handa.
**[10:44] ---**
He's a talented dhampir,
**[10:46] ---**
but more than that, he messes up
a lot and causes trouble.
**[10:50] ---**
Hurry up and come in and start working.
**[10:51] ---**
What were you doing at work?
**[10:54] ---**
I was punching a Ronaldo-shaped punching bag.
**[10:56] ---**
I meant that you should be working, idiot!
**[10:58] ---**
I already took care of my usual duties.
**[11:01] ---**
Here are my reports, and these
are waiting for approval.
**[11:03] ---**
It's worse because he can actually
get his work done, too...
**[11:07] ---**
If it weren't for the Ronaldo stuff,
he'd be an excellent employee.
**[11:10] ---**
We're going out, Sagyo.
**[11:11] ---**
Huh? Where are we going?
**[11:12] ---**
There's a job I need your help with--
an undercover investigation!
**[11:17] ---**
"Ronaldo Vampire Hunter Agency"
"Everyone welcome"
**[11:18] ---**
All right!
**[11:19] ---**
Now, we will commence our mission to put
a celery fondue in Ronaldo's desk--
**[11:23] ---**
I'm going home.
**[11:24] ---**
I wanted to make it so that when he
opens his desk drawer, this pops out.
**[11:28] ---**
Oh, my celery!
**[11:30] ---**
I brought you here to be the test subject.
**[11:33] ---**
Don't bring me here for that!
And don't involve me with your hobbies!
**[11:36] ---**
This is a proper undercover investigation!
**[11:39] ---**
It's under the pretext of
investigating the vampire, Draluc.
**[11:42] ---**
Idiots who are capable are scary...!
**[11:45] ---**
This won't end with just the owner
being mad when he gets back.
**[11:48] ---**
Don't worry, I'll cover for you.
**[11:50] ---**
You're the one who'll be in trouble!
I'm the *victim* here!
**[11:53] ---**
Man, today's job was weird, too.
**[11:55] ---**
--People must think of you as an entertainer.
--See, they're back!
**[11:58] ---**
--Sand!
--What should we do now...?
**[12:00] ---**
He's gone!
**[12:02] ---**
I never thought I'd perform
as a vampire limbo dancer.
**[12:04] ---**
We're home...
**[12:05] ---**
Huh? Did I forget to turn off the ligh--
**[12:07] ---**
Cele-- Ah, that stinks!
What the celery is this?!
**[12:10] ---**
Whoa, that's gross.
**[12:11] ---**
Handa, show yourself!
**[12:13] ---**
--I knocked over the celery in my hurry...
--This has to be you!
**[12:15] ---**
I have no choice. I'll go out there,
tell them the truth and apologize.
**[12:19] ---**
Today's the day you will not be forgiven!
**[12:23] ---**
Drink it all! Drink it and then clean it up!
**[12:26] ---**
Stupid Handa, stupid--
Huh? He's not here.
**[12:30] ---**
Perhaps he went out the window?
**[12:31] ---**
Damn it, did he get away?!
**[12:34] ---**
Oh, no! I was so surprised that I
went into the closet by accident!
**[12:37] ---**
Only burglars and perverts act like this!
**[12:40] ---**
What if I go on the offensive
and boldly walk out--?
**[12:42] ---**
I was here for a little investigation.
**[12:44] ---**
Oh, of course.
**[12:45] ---**
Th-That won't work! I can't act
like that airheaded Handa!
**[12:49] ---**
The last thing I want is to be like him!
**[12:51] ---**
Anyway, we should clean up.
John, get a new dust cloth from the closet.
**[12:56] ---**
Ronaldo, you bring over a bucket.
**[12:58] ---**
Where was it again...?
**[13:01] ---**
Sand!
**[13:03] ---**
Huh? Something's in the closet?
**[13:05] ---**
Handa!
**[13:07] ---**
Handa? No way.
**[13:08] ---**
Are you dumb? Only Handa would be
stupid enough to hide in a place like that!
**[13:12] ---**
Hey, it's time to pay the piper!
**[13:14] ---**
Oh, no... This is no time
to think about hurt feelings!
**[13:16] ---**
--I need to talk my way out of this somehow...!
--Get over here and clean up, stupid Handa!
**[13:18] ---**
I can't believe you even threatened John!
You won't get away with-- Handa, you-- Cel--!
**[13:22] ---**
Han? Cele... Han-celery...
The celery's alive...?
**[13:26] ---**
Cele-cele-cele--!
**[13:29] ---**
The celery's alive!
**[13:33] ---**
Did you see that?!
The vampiric celery's alive!
**[13:36] ---**
This place is no good now...!
**[13:37] ---**
Huh? Vampiric celery?
**[13:40] ---**
Did I get away with it?
**[13:47] ---**
What is this? An inferior vampire?
**[13:50] ---**
I don't have a weapon. What should I do?
**[13:53] ---**
C-Cele... Ce-cele-cele...
**[13:57] ---**
"Welcome Friend"
**[13:58] ---**
I've been welcomed!
**[14:01] ---**
I heard it! The vampiric celery!
It's gonna devour us! It's a death sentence!
**[14:04] ---**
The closet is full of celery eggs!
**[14:06] ---**
Shut up and calm down, moron.
**[14:10] ---**
It's getting refreshments ready!
**[14:12] ---**
I have no choice but to abandon
this office and burn it down!
**[14:15] ---**
Death and celery! Let's meet in hell!
**[14:16] ---**
Calm down, moron.
**[14:18] ---**
I'll go check it out, so wait to
burn it down until after I do that.
**[14:23] ---**
This is bad. It really is over now!
**[14:25] ---**
Draluc!
**[14:27] ---**
I'm here for today's snack--
I mean, investigation.
**[14:30] ---**
Whoa, what's going on?
**[14:33] ---**
Vice-Captain Hinaichi?!
**[14:35] ---**
Oh, Hinaichi. Good timing. We appear
to have vampiric celery in our closet.
**[14:39] ---**
What? Get back, Draluc.
**[14:43] ---**
The vice-captain might recognize my voice.
**[14:46] ---**
Please! Recognize me!
And then cover for me!
**[14:50] ---**
C-Cele-cele-cele...
**[14:53] ---**
--S--
--Celery!
**[14:54] ---**
Scurry out of there right now!
**[14:56] ---**
You're under arrest, celery!
**[15:05] ---**
What are you doing, Sagyo?
**[15:06] ---**
God...
**[15:09] ---**
Oh, the guy the crab was courting.
**[15:11] ---**
What?! Are you a celery sprite or something?!
**[15:14] ---**
It's over... No matter how you look at it,
I'm a deviant right now...
**[15:18] ---**
I'll be known as the same type
as Handa for the rest of my life.
**[15:24] ---**
Your attitude is admirable, Sagyo!
**[15:26] ---**
I'm impressed that you would go to such
great lengths to gather information!
**[15:30] ---**
Good job completing the mission for my sake!
**[15:32] ---**
Handa!
**[15:33] ---**
What mission?
**[15:34] ---**
Handa, doing things on your own again--
**[15:36] ---**
So *you're* the one behind this,
stupid idiot?! That poor kid!
**[15:39] ---**
--Anyway, damn it, you, damn it, Handa--
**[15:41] ---**
--You've got guts, Sagyo!
My opinion of you's improved.
--Anyway, damn it, you, damn it, Handa--
**[15:42] ---**
--You've got guts, Sagyo!
My opinion of you's improved.
--Drink all of the celery juice on my desk! I'm gonna send you flying! I really will!
**[15:45] ---**
The way you hid was dumb, though.
**[15:49] ---**
Well, it was *your* fault!
**[15:53] ---**
John... John...
**[15:54] ---**
I'm sorry. I'll pay for the window.
**[15:57] ---**
Oh, um, thanks. Good work today...
**[16:00] ---**
"Hobby: Popping bubble wrap"
**[16:01] ---**
Pop, pop.
**[16:05] ---**
"Chaosman Is Back"
**[16:05] ---**
This time, I'll catch you for sure...
Tsujigiri Nagiri!
**[16:12] ---**
Damn it.
**[16:13] ---**
I can't believe I've fallen so low
that I'm living hand to mouth.
**[16:13] ---**
"Vampire - Tsujigiri Nagiri"
**[16:17] ---**
In the past, people would shudder
just hearing the name "Tsujigiri."
**[16:20] ---**
But now...
**[16:22] ---**
Excuse me, you over there--
**[16:24] ---**
Do you know anything about Tsujigiri Nagiri?
**[16:27] ---**
Who the hell are you?
**[16:29] ---**
Excuse me for not introducing myself.
**[16:30] ---**
I am Kei Kantaro!
**[16:31] ---**
"Kanagawa Prefectural Police
Vampire Control Division
Kei Kantaro"
**[16:33] ---**
I was just assigned to the Kanagawa
Prefectural Police Vampire Control Division!
**[16:36] ---**
Be quiet! You're too loud!
**[16:38] ---**
What was that about Tsujigiri?
**[16:40] ---**
Right! Back when I worked at a police box,
I ran into Tsujigiri Nagiri...
**[16:47] ---**
I went on a journey to get stronger for
my next match with him and then returned
**[16:51] ---**
to Shin-Yoko as a member
of the Vampire Division.
**[16:52] ---**
Come to think of it,
I did slash someone like that...
**[16:55] ---**
"Tsujigiri Nagiri
If you see him contact Vamp Control
or a hunter immediately"
**[16:55] ---**
I will never forget his eyes like a demon's!
**[16:57] ---**
Flames poured out of his mouth!
He shot blades from his five-meter-tall body!
**[17:02] ---**
I-I wouldn't go that far...
**[17:04] ---**
Guns don't work on his immortal body!
He used blades of blood to slash right and left!
**[17:08] ---**
He's the most fearsome vampire ever!
**[17:11] ---**
He scoffs at hunters and Vamp Control
as he evades their investigations.
**[17:14] ---**
He's cunning and smart--
the monster of the century!
**[17:18] ---**
I'm sure his recent disappearance is just
to sharpen his fangs--he's got a plan!
**[17:22] ---**
The threat of him has not lessened one bit!
**[17:25] ---**
This guy knows what he's talking about.
**[17:27] ---**
As a reward, I'll give him more
things to recollect about me.
**[17:30] ---**
I'll give him new fear!
**[17:33] ---**
I prepared this to capture that guy--
an extra-large anti-vampire pile bunker!
**[17:39] ---**
If I can stop him for about
30 seconds using this, or--
**[17:43] ---**
Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot to ask your name.
**[17:47] ---**
It's Tsujita.
**[17:48] ---**
"Pride" "Safety"
**[17:48] ---**
Tsujita! If you have any information
about Tsujigiri, please let me know!
**[17:52] ---**
If that's fired into me, I'll be blown away!
Before he figures out who I am, I need to--
**[17:59] ---**
Now that you mention it,
I've seen a man like that recently.
**[18:02] ---**
Really?! Please take me to where you saw him!
**[18:07] ---**
I'll cut this guy up.
**[18:09] ---**
It was around here? It does seem
like a place where he'd hide.
**[18:18] ---**
What?!
**[18:20] ---**
A stab-proof vest?
**[18:22] ---**
Oh, no, I screwed up...
**[18:24] ---**
Tsujita...
**[18:26] ---**
Nagiri's appeared! Did you see him?!
**[18:29] ---**
He slashed at me and then
escaped like a strong wind!
**[18:32] ---**
Was he trying to pin it on you?!
**[18:34] ---**
He's so cowardly to try to pin it
on a good citizen like you!
**[18:37] ---**
That's enough. I'm losing this guy.
**[18:40] ---**
I-I saw a man running that way.
**[18:43] ---**
You saw him?!
**[18:45] ---**
This is an important eyewitness!
**[18:47] ---**
Did he come this way?!
**[18:51] ---**
I don't see him anywhere.
**[18:53] ---**
Did he notice we were following
and hide somewhere?
**[18:56] ---**
A place around here with lots of foot traffic
and a lot of prey for vampires...
**[19:00] ---**
Now, is Tsujigiri Nagiri in here?
**[19:01] ---**
"Table-Sharing Izakaya"
**[19:03] ---**
Welcome!
**[19:03] ---**
I wouldn't go into a place like this!
**[19:05] ---**
I'm tracing Tsujigiri
**[19:07] ---**
through hundreds of my own independent
simulations of his thought process.
**[19:11] ---**
Of course, even if I end up fighting him,
I won't let him lay a finger on you!
**[19:14] ---**
Don't worry! Th--
**[19:16] ---**
Two for the table in the back, coming this way!
**[19:19] ---**
Oh, my, you two are so hot!
**[19:19] ---**
"Mimimi Gekkoin (Maremi's younger sister)"
**[19:22] ---**
Shh! Be quiet.
**[19:24] ---**
We are in the middle of an undercover
investigation into a dangerous criminal.
**[19:26] ---**
Seriously? That usually means
the criminal's super close!
**[19:30] ---**
Anyway, you're really my type.
**[19:33] ---**
I, Mimimi, will give it my all!
Where do you live?
**[19:35] ---**
In a building...
**[19:36] ---**
Really? So you live in a fancy high-rise?
**[19:39] ---**
What do you do on your days off?
Where do you go?
**[19:41] ---**
T-To the river and stuff...
**[19:43] ---**
For BBQs?! I'm seriously so jelly!
**[19:46] ---**
What am I doing in a place like this?
**[19:49] ---**
Oh, I'm so drunk!
**[19:52] ---**
Oh, dear, what a pair of handsome guys!
**[19:56] ---**
Adding one more guest!
**[20:01] ---**
--Why was there a hunter ther--?
**[20:02] ---**
--Tsujita!
--Why was there a hunter ther--?
**[20:04] ---**
Why did you run out suddenly like that?!
**[20:06] ---**
O-Oh, I saw a man who looked like Tsujigiri
head toward that large building over here...
**[20:11] ---**
What did you say?!
**[20:13] ---**
That large building? The night pool!
**[20:13] ---**
"Shin-Yoko Water Park"
"Night Pool Selfies"
**[20:16] ---**
"Tsuji"
**[20:16] ---**
Oh, no! He'll have a sumptuous
feast with the girls there!
**[20:19] ---**
It'll turn into a bloody lake of hell!
**[20:21] ---**
I wouldn't do anything like that, you idiot!
**[20:24] ---**
"Stab-proof"
**[20:25] ---**
I was able to buy a good swimsuit!
**[20:27] ---**
But looking for a suspect in a fun place like
this would make us stand out too much.
**[20:31] ---**
--Go home.
--I can't give up now!
**[20:33] ---**
Tsujita, I'll stop the tragedy of Tsujigiri!
**[20:36] ---**
In order to camouflage us during the
investigation, please play as hard as you can!
**[20:43] ---**
Look happier! Smile!
**[20:46] ---**
Act like you've been wanting
to come here so badly!
**[20:50] ---**
You're too loud, high-spirited man.
You'll get in my selfie.
**[20:54] ---**
No...!
**[20:59] ---**
Another likely place for him to hide
**[21:00] ---**
is a place where it'd be hard to notice if he
attacked someone and caused a ruckus.
**[21:04] ---**
In other words, *here*!
**[21:40] ---**
--Tsujita! Tsujita!
--No...!
**[21:42] ---**
So hot!
**[21:45] ---**
With the help of a good citizen,
I investigated him!
**[21:49] ---**
After going to the night pool,
we boogied the night away at a disco--
**[21:49] ---**
"Report"
**[21:52] ---**
What'd you say?
**[23:26] ---**
"Memories with my mother"
**[23:32] ---**
"Memories of my friends"
**[23:35] ---**
The vampire dies in no time.
**[23:39] ---**
**[23:41] ---**
# E4 - Good Mother, Goodbye Summer
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GPWUKG2PX/good-mother-goodbye-summer)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:06] ---**
"Guild Master - Gosetsu"
**[00:06] ---**
I'm off then. Please take care
of the place while I'm gone.
**[00:10] ---**
"Master's Daughter - Koyuki"
**[00:10] ---**
Leave it to me.
**[00:14] ---**
Take care!
**[00:23] ---**
I'll do my best.
**[00:25] ---**
I'll get like 200,000,000 customers.
**[00:28] ---**
Hey, you open?
**[00:30] ---**
Yes!
**[00:31] ---**
Nice night, isn't it, Miss?
**[02:07] ---**
"Minding the Guild with a Suspicious Person"
**[02:09] ---**
A strange person has come.
**[02:11] ---**
I came to have another go at *yakyuken*,
but this is convenient.
**[02:15] ---**
Neither the hunters nor the guild master
is here. It's just a girl by herself!
**[02:20] ---**
On top of that, look at her!
**[02:23] ---**
She'll definitely look good playing
strip rock-paper-scissors!
**[02:27] ---**
Now, Miss! Prepare yourself!
**[02:30] ---**
Out! Safe! *Yoyoi*--
**[02:32] ---**
"Camel Clutch"
**[02:33] ---**
What are you doing all of a sudden?
**[02:35] ---**
W-Wait! I don't mean any harm!
I just wanted to play *yakyuken*.
**[02:41] ---**
What's *yakyuken*?
**[02:43] ---**
It's a game where the loser at
rock-paper-scissors takes off their clothes--
**[02:46] ---**
"Romero Special"
**[02:47] ---**
I-It's going to break!
**[02:48] ---**
"Cross armlock!"
**[02:52] ---**
Damn it, I misunderstood the situation!
This girl's strong!
**[02:56] ---**
There's no part of her that is kind
enough to play *yakyuken*.
**[03:00] ---**
However, if I run now, I won't deserve
to be called "Yakyuken Lover"!
**[03:03] ---**
Oh, I was just kidding!
I'm a hunter from the next town over.
**[03:08] ---**
Hunter?
**[03:09] ---**
That's right! I stopped by because
I was curious about the Shin-Yoko guild.
**[03:14] ---**
Then why were you trying to play *yakyuken*?
**[03:16] ---**
Because I'm a hunter who loves *yakyuken*.
**[03:19] ---**
Hey, okay, wait! Calm down... okay?
**[03:24] ---**
Don't get so mad. Give me a drink!
**[03:26] ---**
I can't serve alcohol to hunters.
**[03:30] ---**
Then can you make me a snack?
**[03:36] ---**
My hypnosis won't work if my
opponent makes the first move.
**[03:42] ---**
I'll keep pretending to be a hunter
and wait until I can find an opening.
**[03:47] ---**
It's ready.
**[03:48] ---**
Oh, I wonder what it is!
**[03:51] ---**
An omelet.
**[03:51] ---**
What?!
**[03:53] ---**
Omelets don't have sharp pointy bits like these!
**[03:56] ---**
What is this? What did you make?
**[03:58] ---**
An omelet...
**[03:59] ---**
Look at me when you say it.
Don't you lose confidence in what you're saying!
**[04:04] ---**
You've got to be kidding me.
Just how bad at cooking are you?!
**[04:08] ---**
But if I eat this, she might
lower her guard a little.
***SIGN*** "(This) isn't something that could be called an omelet, with its strange quivering and frothy texture that (is) pretty much tasteless and in places the egg? seems raw, but for some reason there's also a (deli)cate powdery aftertaste that lingers, and there are some herbs or something trying their hardest not let their flavors meld, and what's this (sh)arp thing?"
**[04:22] ---**
This... is... deli... sh...
**[04:29] ---**
Oh, no! Was that too forced?!
**[04:32] ---**
I'm glad she made it for me, though...
**[04:36] ---**
Go ahead, have as much as you'd like.
**[04:38] ---**
Jesus!
**[04:39] ---**
I-I'm so happy... I was really hungry...
**[04:43] ---**
She's lowering her guard.
My plan to find an opening is succeeding.
**[04:50] ---**
I'll make even more food!
**[04:51] ---**
Come back!
**[04:53] ---**
I can't let her serve me more of this puke.
**[04:57] ---**
Damn it, I'll start rock-paper-scissors
right when she gets back.
**[05:01] ---**
"Vampire - Passionate Kiss"
**[05:01] ---**
Yakyuken? What are you doing
at the hunters guild?
**[05:05] ---**
I've got my eye on some prey in the back.
Don't get in my way! Scram!
**[05:09] ---**
What? What's your prey like?
Is he my type? A hot guy with delicious blood?
**[05:15] ---**
Hey, come back! There's no way
that's what I'm after!
**[05:21] ---**
Hey.
**[05:23] ---**
It's a Koyuki-style spur-of-the-moment creation.
**[05:26] ---**
Fried whole something.
**[05:27] ---**
Kiss...!
**[05:29] ---**
Please squeeze some *kabosu*
on it before you eat it.
**[05:31] ---**
This isn't grilled *sanma*!
**[05:33] ---**
Masaki Okada is waving at me
from the other side of the river...
**[05:36] ---**
Isn't Masaki Okada still alive?!
**[05:38] ---**
M-My stomach's easily unsettled,
so fried foods don't agree with me...
**[05:43] ---**
I'll make something easy to digest!
**[05:45] ---**
Whoa! It's an infinite loop of cooking.
**[05:48] ---**
Stop! Stop this hellish reincarnation cycle!
Must change the flow of events now!
**[05:52] ---**
I-I feel bad making you do
all the cooking for me.
**[05:55] ---**
I'll help with something, too.
**[05:57] ---**
But you're a guest.
**[05:59] ---**
It's fine, isn't it? It's not like
there are other customers around.
**[06:05] ---**
"Grape" "100% Strawberry" "Miso"
**[06:05] ---**
Something easy to digest...
**[06:07] ---**
I just said it without thinking, but helping
with the cooking isn't a bad plan.
**[06:12] ---**
While you're distracted by cooking,
I can start a game of *yakyuken*!
**[06:18] ---**
Let's make a refreshing dessert!
**[06:21] ---**
First, take red bean paste
and salted sea cucumber entrails
**[06:21] ---**
"Boiled Red Beans"
"Salted Sea Cucumber Entrails"
**[06:23] ---**
and put them in the food processor.
**[06:25] ---**
Don't play around with food!
Creativity like that is shit--
**[06:30] ---**
Wait, I meant "shit" in a good way.
**[06:33] ---**
See, a minimalist like me loves simple things.
**[06:36] ---**
Like a parfait or popsicle, just something
you take straight out of the freezer.
**[06:39] ---**
That's what I'd like to eat...
**[06:42] ---**
Then I'll make a parfait.
**[06:44] ---**
Step 1: Scoop ice cream into a cup.
**[06:47] ---**
Step 2: Put on the toppings.
**[06:49] ---**
Wait a minute.
**[06:51] ---**
Did it get warped into another
dimension between steps 1 and 2?
**[06:55] ---**
Why does the parfait suddenly
look like the flu virus?!
**[06:58] ---**
Do you have poison glands
in your hands or something?!
**[07:01] ---**
I really do suck at cooking after all...
**[07:04] ---**
No, that's... well,
that's exactly the case, but...
**[07:07] ---**
Wait! Comforting her now is a great chance
to pull down her defenses all at once.
**[07:12] ---**
First, try putting fruit
and stuff on the parfait!
**[07:15] ---**
--Then--
--Why choose that?!
**[07:22] ---**
"Vampiric Camel Cricket"
**[07:22] ---**
Hand over that blood to me,
the great vampiric camel cricket!
**[07:26] ---**
Out! Safe! *Yoyoinoyoi!*
**[07:29] ---**
What?!
**[07:29] ---**
I'm gonna crush you to a pulp, you damn bug!
**[07:33] ---**
I can't believe you forced me
to molt! I'm so humiliated!
**[07:37] ---**
Take that!
**[07:39] ---**
How dare you try and steal the prey of me,
the vampire, Yakyuken Lover!
**[07:43] ---**
You're 5,000 years too early!
**[07:46] ---**
Wait! It's true that I'm a vampire,
but I'm a good vampire, innocent.
**[07:49] ---**
Besides, using wrestling moves
in the kitchen's dangerous, right?
**[07:53] ---**
Thank you for saving me.
**[07:55] ---**
Huh?
**[07:56] ---**
It also made me happy that you
said my food was delicious.
**[08:00] ---**
Miss...
**[08:02] ---**
An opening!
**[08:04] ---**
*Yoyoinoyoi!*
**[08:07] ---**
I finally got you, foolish girl!
Now, it's time for a fun game of *yakyuken*!
**[08:11] ---**
Here goes...
**[08:14] ---**
♪ If you're gonna play baseball ♪
**[08:16] ---**
♪ Why not try playing like this? ♪
**[08:19] ---**
Out! Safe! *Yoyoino*--
**[08:25] ---**
You're so good at rock-paper-scissors...
**[08:30] ---**
Losers should leave quietly.
**[08:34] ---**
Miss, see you later.
**[08:42] ---**
Look, Draluc. There's something
about your mother here.
**[08:42] ---**
"Good Mother, Goodbye Summer"
**[08:47] ---**
Your mother's working hard.
**[08:49] ---**
So that we do not fight against them in vain.
So that you can live happily.
**[08:58] ---**
I had another nostalgic dream...
**[09:01] ---**
Hm? What? The lid's so heavy!
**[09:12] ---**
Wha--?
**[09:13] ---**
What is this?! The body of a child
with the mind of an adult?!
**[09:17] ---**
I don't remember any dealings
with men dressed in black!
**[09:23] ---**
Anyway, it must've been a strong vampire
if they could transform someone else.
**[09:28] ---**
The most likely explanation
**[09:29] ---**
is that I've been caught up in some sort
of game Grandfather is playing.
**[09:34] ---**
I've made APTX 4649.
Do a taste test for me.
**[09:38] ---**
A supercell snake in my bosom...
**[09:40] ---**
I'll call Father and have him take care of it.
**[09:43] ---**
Oh, but he might be a zygote
or something right now.
**[09:49] ---**
Hey, Lord D-- Huh?
**[09:52] ---**
I'm sorry, I got the wrong room!
**[09:54] ---**
This isn't a bathroom!
**[09:56] ---**
Um, hello...
**[09:58] ---**
Uh, are you Lord Dral--
I mean, Draluc's little brother?
**[10:04] ---**
That's right! I'm his little brother!
We're 200 years apart!
**[10:07] ---**
This is my chance. I'll tease the youngster!
**[10:10] ---**
Really? Your dad got a bit feisty
all of a sudden, huh?
**[10:13] ---**
Um... What's your name?
**[10:15] ---**
D... Dral-Two.
**[10:17] ---**
That's too random! It's like how I named
my pet turtles when I was a kid!
**[10:21] ---**
Anyway, where'd Lord Dral go?!
Leaving a young kid here like this!
**[10:24] ---**
Oh, I came here on my own.
**[10:26] ---**
Huh? How'd you get in?
**[10:28] ---**
By teleporting...
**[10:29] ---**
Really? Show me how you did it!
**[10:31] ---**
Well, my lifespan gets shortened
by five years every time I do it...
**[10:34] ---**
Isn't that too big a risk?
**[10:35] ---**
Just because that damn sandpile
didn't tell me, this kid's life was--!
**[10:39] ---**
Shoot! His opinion of me goes
down no matter what I say!
**[10:43] ---**
Let's talk about something more fun!
**[10:46] ---**
Right, sorry.
**[10:49] ---**
Hey, how does Big Brother Draluc
help you with your work?
**[10:53] ---**
Um, let's see...
**[10:54] ---**
Is he capable? A genius?
Does he make you gasp in awe?
**[10:58] ---**
What's with those leading questions?
**[11:00] ---**
In terms of work, well...
**[11:03] ---**
He dies in no time,
**[11:04] ---**
and he's self-centered
and betrays me all the time.
**[11:07] ---**
But despite that, he's impulsive,
**[11:08] ---**
he doesn't look ahead and dies in no time,
he's a damn small fry and dies in no time,
**[11:12] ---**
and he dies in no time!
**[11:14] ---**
Say something good!
**[11:15] ---**
Ronaldo's not judging Big Brother properly!
**[11:18] ---**
No, that's not it!
He's... Um, he's... He's... He's...
**[11:24] ---**
John's cute!
**[11:25] ---**
Don't change the subject of the sentence!
**[11:27] ---**
Ronaldo, I'm here for today's--
**[11:29] ---**
Who's he?
**[11:30] ---**
Lord Dral's little brother.
**[11:32] ---**
Little brother?!
**[11:33] ---**
I'm Dral-Two.
**[11:34] ---**
Good timing. Say some good
things about Lord Dral.
**[11:38] ---**
Huh? W-Well... Draluc is good at cooking!
**[11:42] ---**
And he's good at baking...
like cookies and stuff...
**[11:46] ---**
And the meals he makes are delicious...
**[11:48] ---**
Am I a machine that brings out food
when you push a button?!
**[11:50] ---**
The humans don't understand
Big Brother's magnificence!
**[11:54] ---**
No, I'm sorry! Your big brother
is always kind to me.
**[11:57] ---**
Here, have some milk!
**[11:59] ---**
I want Hokkaido Special Select Milk!
**[12:02] ---**
--I'll go buy some!
--Before you go,
**[12:04] ---**
do something funny!
**[12:07] ---**
Here's my impression of a doctor fish!
These dead skin cells are yummy!
**[12:11] ---**
And get me *FNAF Quest*,
and *Shin-Yoko Alone*, and *Wundertale*...
**[12:15] ---**
No, I just want like 50,000 points
on the Santendo Store!
**[12:18] ---**
This is starting to feel like a shakedown...
**[12:21] ---**
I want your lifeblood, Miss...
**[12:23] ---**
D-Dral-Two, you can't have my lifeblood,
but I'll give you something good.
**[12:27] ---**
Huh?!
**[12:28] ---**
They're making such a fuss!
It's great being a kid!
**[12:31] ---**
Cute kid's clothes!
**[12:34] ---**
Oh, that's so cute!
**[12:36] ---**
Where'd you get it?
**[12:37] ---**
I bought the wrong size.
**[12:39] ---**
You like stuff like this?
**[12:41] ---**
Try doing a cute pose!
**[12:44] ---**
Oh, that's too cute! Can I take a picture?
**[12:46] ---**
Ow!
**[12:47] ---**
Hokkaido Special Select Milk!
**[12:50] ---**
Just go over there!
**[12:53] ---**
Okay, I'll go buy Hokkaido Special Select Milk.
**[12:56] ---**
I take back what I just said.
It's not easy being a kid!
**[12:59] ---**
Damn it, I want to go back to norma--
**[13:02] ---**
Sand...!
**[13:06] ---**
Oh, no, my wallet!
**[13:07] ---**
Whoa, there! Don't open it!
**[13:09] ---**
Huh? What's with that voice?
**[13:12] ---**
Oh, I think I've hit puberty!
**[13:15] ---**
What, did you suddenly grow leg hair?
**[13:17] ---**
Maybe he's mad because we
were making fun of his brother.
**[13:22] ---**
Dral-Two, sorry about earlier.
**[13:25] ---**
Your big brother's a really good guy.
**[13:28] ---**
He's a strange vampire,
and a bit of a troublemaker,
**[13:31] ---**
but he's fun to be around!
**[13:34] ---**
Yeah, because he's always thinking
about interesting things.
**[13:38] ---**
I haven't been bored since that guy came.
**[13:41] ---**
So come out, Dral-Two!
**[13:56] ---**
You've done it now, damn sand!
**[13:59] ---**
I can explain!
**[14:01] ---**
I just ended up like that when
I woke up for some reason!
**[14:05] ---**
Did you turn back from the shock of dying?
**[14:10] ---**
Sorry, while I was gone...
**[14:14] ---**
M-Mother?!
**[14:16] ---**
What?! Hello!
**[14:18] ---**
"Draluc's Mother - Mira"
**[14:18] ---**
I'm sorry for everything up until now, Draluc.
**[14:25] ---**
Please let me make up for
all those times I left you alone.
**[14:33] ---**
Lord D--
**[14:36] ---**
Who are you?
**[14:39] ---**
Now, let us go, Draluc.
Come with me...
**[14:50] ---**
Draluc...
**[14:57] ---**
"Good Mother, Goodbye Summer, Part 2"
**[14:58] ---**
Even if she's Draluc's mother,
that didn't seem normal.
**[15:02] ---**
Let's follow them, Ronaldo!
**[15:04] ---**
But how are we supposed to do that?
**[15:06] ---**
Where's Draluc's phone?
**[15:08] ---**
It's no use. He left it here.
**[15:10] ---**
Mira!
**[15:14] ---**
Draluc's dad!
**[15:15] ---**
"Draluc's Father - Draus"
**[15:15] ---**
Was I too late?
**[15:17] ---**
Draluc turned into a kid, and then
his mom came and took him away!
**[15:20] ---**
Don't panic. I'll explain.
**[15:22] ---**
The woman's name is Mira.
My wife and Draluc's mother.
**[15:27] ---**
She has the power to intervene
with another vampire's abilities.
**[15:32] ---**
She probably used Draluc's transformation
ability to turn him into a child.
**[15:36] ---**
But it looks like he's forgotten about us!
**[15:40] ---**
His mind must be getting influenced
by his transformed body.
**[15:44] ---**
Why would she do such a thing?!
**[15:47] ---**
--I don't know...
--You *should* know!
**[15:48] ---**
You should talk to your wife more!
**[15:50] ---**
You're right...
**[15:52] ---**
But Mira's always busy with work
and hardly ever comes home...
**[15:55] ---**
Oh! My lack of communication
caused her undue burden!
**[16:00] ---**
I'm like a dried out natto bean.
**[16:02] ---**
There's no time for that right now.
**[16:05] ---**
Ever since Draluc started living here,
she's seemed kind of broody.
**[16:13] ---**
But I don't know why she
would do something like this...
**[16:17] ---**
He was with a human... And a hunter
at that. She was probably worried.
**[16:22] ---**
That's--
**[16:26] ---**
But I'll bring that idiot back!
**[16:30] ---**
He left his QS5, his coffin,
and his computer for streaming here.
**[16:35] ---**
Well said, Paul!
**[16:37] ---**
What's important is that child's will!
Now, let's bring them both back quickly!
**[16:43] ---**
You two, search around this area.
**[16:47] ---**
Hey, wait!
**[16:48] ---**
If anything comes up, let me know right away!
**[16:52] ---**
Shall we ask Handa to help?
**[16:54] ---**
Yeah...
**[17:12] ---**
Isn't it pretty, Draluc?
**[17:14] ---**
Yes, Mother.
**[17:15] ---**
I'm glad I could come with you.
Let's go see lots of other places.
**[17:23] ---**
Sorry, I was always working,
and I couldn't spend time with you.
**[17:30] ---**
It's a peaceful time, now.
However, back then, I had no choice.
**[17:37] ---**
In order to connect humans and vampires,
and become a balancer for both sides...
**[17:45] ---**
Let's have a picnic, Draluc.
**[17:48] ---**
Yay!
**[17:52] ---**
Wh-Where shall we go after this?
**[17:56] ---**
Where's John?
**[17:58] ---**
Do you want to turn in early for the night?
Or go see the ruins of Castle Draluc?
**[18:04] ---**
Please, will you put your game away?
I'm losing HP watching you with that.
**[18:08] ---**
It's not a game. I'm having fun,
so I'm taking pictures.
**[18:12] ---**
Is that right? Sorry.
These modern game devices are amazing.
**[18:16] ---**
I take the picture here,
and then send it with this.
**[18:20] ---**
Yes.
**[18:21] ---**
See?
**[18:22] ---**
Yes...
**[18:23] ---**
Who are you sending them to?
**[18:26] ---**
Huh?
**[18:28] ---**
I don't know. I wonder who...
**[18:32] ---**
But I want to show them.
I mean, I'm sure they're my friends!
**[18:40] ---**
If you're gonna send them...
at least send them with your location!
**[18:45] ---**
Draluc!
**[18:46] ---**
You two... How did you find this place?
**[18:49] ---**
We deduced the locations from the pictures
and then followed your path. It was hard!
**[18:55] ---**
But the last picture was easy.
Because the ruins of Castle Draluc were in it!
**[19:04] ---**
Come on, hurry up!
Or I'll throw away your QS5!
**[19:07] ---**
I wanna eat cookies!
**[19:09] ---**
Oww...
**[19:12] ---**
John. Where have you been?
**[19:16] ---**
Hinaichi, you really love cookies, huh?
**[19:24] ---**
I just bought that QS5.
**[19:26] ---**
Besides... you watch Netflips
on it, too, youngster!
**[19:31] ---**
Anyway, I just remembered. My mother--
**[19:36] ---**
Draluc... I'm sorry.
**[19:40] ---**
I always had to work,
and before I knew it, you'd grown up.
**[19:46] ---**
You found your own world, and grew
further and further away from me...
**[19:52] ---**
I wanted to do something for you,
even at this late stage, but...
**[19:55] ---**
I'm sorry. It was for my own satisfaction...
**[19:58] ---**
Exactly, moron!
**[20:01] ---**
Don't just "do something" without
asking me what I want first!
**[20:04] ---**
First off, making me a kid and taking me around
is just something *you* wanted to do! Idiot!
**[20:10] ---**
Answer with a "Yes!"
At least communicate verbally!
**[20:14] ---**
Is that really what an adult
your age should be doing?!
**[20:19] ---**
There was no need for you to do any of this.
**[20:23] ---**
Seeing you work as a lawyer
when I was young was enough,
**[20:26] ---**
and something I was proud of and treasured.
**[20:31] ---**
You were always awkward,
always away from home,
**[20:35] ---**
and always doing things to the extreme.
**[20:38] ---**
You are my dear mother.
**[20:41] ---**
Draluc...
**[20:45] ---**
Mira!
**[20:48] ---**
Draluc! You two are here, too?
**[20:51] ---**
I told you to let me know right away
if anything came up, damn Paul!
**[20:59] ---**
Let's talk, Mira. Draluc's life right now--
**[21:08] ---**
Mira.
**[21:10] ---**
Let's leave those two young lovebirds.
Now, let us go home, everyone!
**[21:14] ---**
Don't tell us what to do!
**[21:16] ---**
Draluc, your family really loves you.
**[21:19] ---**
Yeah!
**[21:21] ---**
The shame of my family-- Hey, youngster!
What are you laughing at?
**[21:24] ---**
I'll slap you dead! Sand...
**[21:26] ---**
I'll stuff you in the trunk, Sand!
**[21:28] ---**
Don't leave me!
**[21:30] ---**
It's fine. I have heard about how
busy you are with work from Father.
**[21:36] ---**
Please come back home again quickly.
**[21:43] ---**
Anyway, I didn't know you could drive.
But your driving's too scary!
**[21:47] ---**
Hey, I'm gonna kill you! Die!
**[21:48] ---**
Don't look over here!
**[21:49] ---**
Keep your eyes on the road, idiot!
**[23:25] ---**
"Light and shadow"
**[23:26] ---**
What should we do now?!
**[23:30] ---**
"Front and back"
**[23:30] ---**
Right now, no matter what we do,
it won't breach etiquette, right?!
**[23:36] ---**
The vampire dies in no time!
**[23:39] ---**
**[23:41] ---**
# E5 - Last Stop, Ura-Shin-Yokohama
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/G2XU0QPE0/last-stop-ura-shin-yokohama)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:05] Fukuma**
Oh? It's about time I left for work.
**[00:12] Sign**
"Vampire Cat - Bosatsu"
**[00:12] Bosatsu**
This is no time to be playing
around thoughtlessly!
**[00:16] Bosatsu**
You bastard, Fukuma.
**[00:18] Bosatsu**
You're a crazy, insincere idiot hiding
behind the mask of a cat lover.
**[00:23] Bosatsu**
Hm? This is convenient!
**[00:25] Bosatsu**
I'll hide in his bag and run away
during his commute.
**[00:33] Bosatsu**
Goodbye, Fukuma.
**[00:36] Bosatsu**
Once I escape, I will reboot my plan
to turn the world into cat lovers!
**[00:48] Sign**
"Autumn Books"
**[00:50] Bosatsu**
He lives really close to work.
**[02:24] Sign**
"The Dream-Quest of Unknown Fukuma"
**[02:27] Bosatsu**
It can't be helped, bastard.
**[02:29] Bosatsu**
I'll jump out and run away here.
**[02:32] Autumn Boy Robot**
Eliminate the foreign objects. Eliminate!
**[02:32] Sign**
"Autumn Specialties - Autumn Boy Robots"
**[02:35] Fukuma**
Bosatsu, did you follow me to work?
**[02:38] Autumn Boy Robot**
Oh, it's just a cat.
**[02:40] Fukuma**
Since you're here, I have no choice.
**[02:42] Bosatsu**
No, your place is close.
**[02:44] Fukuma**
We'll be together all day today, won't we?
**[02:45] Bosatsu**
It's close, so you could just go home.
**[02:47] Fukuma**
Let's work together today, okay, Bosatsu?
**[02:51] Bosatsu**
Don't panic. You've still got a chance.
Look for an opening and run!
**[03:00] Sign**
"Autumn Books Credo:
Sell three hundred million copies
of the first edition"
**[03:07] Sign**
"Cat Lover"
"Cat"
**[03:08] Fukuma**
This is my desk.
**[03:12] Fukuma**
It's like you're right where
you're supposed to be.
**[03:14] Bosatsu**
What's this guy doing at work?
**[03:19] Rokumon**
Mr. Fukuma.
**[03:20] Rokumon**
Here are the files you asked for.
**[03:23] Fukuma**
Thank you very much.
**[03:27] PA**
Intruder alert! Intruder alert!
**[03:29] Employee A**
It's a raid by a rival publisher!
**[03:31] Fukuma**
I'll go deal with our guests.
**[03:35] Keramushi**
I am Keramushi, first spearman of
Summer Books's editorial department!
**[03:39] Keramushi**
Small fry are no match for me!
**[03:41] Keramushi**
Come out, editor with a name!
**[03:48] Fukuma**
Fist of the South Star Editorial Battle-Axe.
**[03:53] Fukuma**
Hand of the Battle-Axe of Fury.
**[03:57] Bosatsu**
What the heck?
**[03:59] Fukuma**
Now, shall we go instruct the newbies?
**[04:04] Fukuma**
In order to raise outstanding employees,
it's important to get a good start.
**[04:11] Sign**
"Autumn Specialties -
New Employee Cultivation Tanks"
**[04:16] Fukuma**
Only the editor in charge
can protect the author.
**[04:19] Fukuma**
Please keep that in mind.
**[04:23] Fukuma**
They show promise.
**[04:25] Bosatsu**
I don't even feel like coming up
with a clever retort to that.
**[04:29] Sanzu**
I've put a trap on Fukuma's chair!
**[04:31] Sanzu**
That'll give you some severe hemorrhoids!
**[04:33] Sign**
"Autumn Specialty - Autumn-Style Air Chair"
**[04:40] Fukuma**
Please wait here a moment.
I'll go buy some lunch.
**[04:45] Bosatsu**
This is my chance!
**[04:53] Autumn Boy Robot**
Food, food.
**[04:55] Autumn Grizzly**
Yum, yum.
**[04:57] Go**
Oh! You're Fukuma's cat!
**[05:00] Bosatsu**
Oh, I believe this is the human
who is editor-in-chief.
**[05:04] Go**
You haven't eaten yet, right?
I've got bread from the co-op if you want it.
**[05:09] Bosatsu**
I'll brainwash this guy and
have him carry me outside.
**[05:14] Go**
Here you go!
**[05:15] Bosatsu**
What's this?!
**[05:16] Go**
Hey, c'mon, you don't wanna eat my leftovers?
**[05:19] Bosatsu**
No, really, what *is* this? You *ate* it?
**[05:21] Fukuma**
Editor-in-Chief.
**[05:24] Fukuma**
Please don't give him something
so high in calories.
**[05:27] Go**
Oh, sorry, sorry.
**[05:30] Fukuma**
You can just have a little bit.
**[05:35] Fukuma**
Ronaldo, how's your progress on
*The Ronaldo Chronicles* volume 3?
**[05:40] Sanzu**
Ronaldo!
**[05:41] Ronaldo**
W-Well, um, uh, all I have left
is to catch a wave, I mean...
**[05:45] Fukuma**
You haven't written anything yet, have you?
**[05:49] Fukuma**
I'm going to Shin-Yokohama for a meeting.
**[05:52] Bosatsu**
It's my big chance!
Shin-Yoko is my home ground.
**[05:55] Bosatsu**
If I run away and go off into a back street,
there's no way you'll be able to catch me.
**[06:01] Bosatsu**
I will accompany you.
**[06:03] Sign**
"Shin-Yokohama Station"
**[06:05] Boy**
What's that?
**[06:06] Fukuma**
There's still a little time
before our meeting time.
**[06:11] Fukuma**
Bosatsu?
**[06:13] Bosatsu**
It's goodbye to that crazy idiot now!
**[06:17] Bosatsu**
Well, I am reluctant to part with
that comfortable life, though.
**[06:21] Ronaldo**
Is that you, Bosatsu?!
**[06:23] Ronaldo**
Please!
**[06:24] Ronaldo**
Hide me!
**[06:26] Ronaldo**
Take me to the cat kingdom!
**[06:28] Bosatsu**
An idiot has arrived.
**[06:30] Ronaldo**
I can't take it anymore!
I can't write anything!
**[06:33] Ronaldo**
Mr. Fukuma's gonna chop off my weenie!
**[06:35] Bosatsu**
Why do you still work with Fukuma
if you're so scared of him?
**[06:39] Ronaldo**
Take me to the cat kingdom
while I'm still a man!
**[06:45] Fukuma**
Ronaldo, first, please calm down.
**[06:49] Bosatsu**
I got thrown in, too!
**[06:51] Fukuma**
Ronaldo, when you're panicked,
**[06:53] Fukuma**
you have a tendency to lose
confidence and worry too much.
**[06:57] Fukuma**
You start thinking that everything
you write is boring,
**[06:59] Fukuma**
and you get stuck in a rut, right?
**[07:05] Fukuma**
Here are some reference materials
and fan letters from readers.
**[07:09] Fukuma**
They might be of some assistance
to get you writing again.
**[07:12] Fukuma**
It's all right. Please write
your ideas down proudly.
**[07:16] Fukuma**
The things you write are interesting!
**[07:22] Ronaldo**
Mr. Fukuma! Thank you!
**[07:25] Ronaldo**
I'll show you that I can finish writing
**[07:26] Ronaldo**
*The War Chronicles of Ronaldo:*
*The Fierce Fight with Mr. Lewd Talk*!
**[07:30] Fukuma**
That's the spirit!
**[07:31] Bosatsu**
What the heck?
**[07:32] Fukuma**
Let's not stand around talking.
Shall we go to a café?
**[07:36] Ronaldo**
Yes!
**[07:37] Bosatsu**
I'll take this opening...
**[07:46] Fukuma**
Sorry to keep you waiting, Bosatsu.
**[07:49] Bosatsu**
I was getting tired of waiting.
**[07:52] Bosatsu**
I understand why that idiot
would team up with you now.
**[07:56] Bosatsu**
It's actually quite comfortable, huh?
Inside that iron maiden.
**[08:01] Bosatsu**
I'm seeing you in a new light, too, a little.
**[08:04] Bosatsu**
As my servant.
**[08:07] Fukuma**
Bosatsu, look at this!
**[08:10] Fukuma**
You seemed to like it, so I special
ordered an iron maiden for cats!
**[08:15] Fukuma**
Go ahead and try going inside!
**[08:17] Bosatsu**
I should've run away.
**[08:22] Sign**
"A Kind Man Under Siege"
**[08:22] Draluc**
A vaccine?
**[08:24] Ronaldo**
So we don't turn into pseudovampires.
Hunters have to get it every year.
**[08:28] Ronaldo**
Then why is it just you three?
**[08:29] Shot**
Everyone else has probably
already gotten theirs.
**[08:31] Draluc**
I see.
**[08:33] Draluc**
So you're the "I'm scared of shots
so I didn't come until the last minute" trio.
**[08:36] Ronaldo**
Shut up!
**[08:37] Draluc**
Arm Guy, this isn't a job, so why are
you wearing that apocalyptic armor?
**[08:40] Satetsu**
Wearing it calms me down.
**[08:42] Draluc**
Is it like a safety blanket?
**[08:44] Ronaldo**
It's because even though Satetsu's so buff,
he's got the courage of a flea.
**[08:47] Satetsu/PA**
--No, no...
--Ronaldo, please enter.
**[08:49] Ronaldo**
John, come in with me!
**[08:52] Draluc**
Go by yourself.
**[08:54] Yomotsuzaka**
Okay, I'll administer the vaccine now.
**[08:57] Ronaldo**
You've gotta be kidding!
**[08:58] Ronaldo**
There's no way that stuff the color
of demon water is a vaccine!
**[09:02] Yomotsuzaka**
It's a new color for this year.
At the forefront of popularity.
**[09:02] Sign**
"Vampire Research Center Director
Yomotsuzaka"
**[09:06] Yomotsuzaka**
Don't worry. You'll just feel a small bump,
**[09:09] Yomotsuzaka**
and then the drug will go
through your whole body
**[09:10] Yomotsuzaka**
and your cells will just undergo
a dramatic change.
**[09:13] Ronaldo**
That develops into something serious!
**[09:15] Yomotsuzaka**
Hey, you're too slow!
Just hurry up and be my guinea pig!
**[09:20] Satetsu**
Ronaldo, what's all the fuss abo--?
**[09:24] Shot**
Satetsu!
**[09:31] Ronaldo**
Satetsu! Are you all right?!
**[09:39] Satetsu**
Blood...
**[09:40] Satetsu**
Blood... Give me blood!
**[09:43] Shot**
Hey, what drug was that?
**[09:45] Yomotsuzaka**
It's supposed to confer the physical
abilities of a vampire onto a human,
**[09:50] Yomotsuzaka**
but it's a failure.
**[09:51] Yomotsuzaka**
He's turned into a pseudovampire
and is going on a rampage.
**[09:55] Satetsu**
I'm hungry... Blood...
**[09:58] Satetsu**
Blood... Give me bloo--!
**[10:02] Staff A**
Director, the exam for the vampire we
detained the other day is complete.
**[10:06] Staff A**
It's been calm this whole time, though.
**[10:09] Yomotsuzaka**
Okay. Change from blood
pack S to the normal pack.
**[10:13] Staff A**
Got it.
**[10:16] Satetsu**
I'm hungry... Blood...
**[10:18] Ronaldo**
Why are you repeating yourself for us?
**[10:20] Yomotsuzaka**
The drug's effects and his good-natured
instincts are vying with each other.
**[10:24] Satetsu/Ronaldo**
--Blood...
--His good-natured instincts?
**[10:26] Yomotsuzaka**
I'll give him the cure now.
Find me an opening.
**[10:30] Yomotsuzaka**
You'll have to appeal to
his good-natured instincts.
**[10:32] Ronaldo**
That's unreasonable!
**[10:34] Satetsu**
Blood...
**[10:35] Ronaldo**
Oh, no, I'm in trouble.
I need to give someone this shot.
**[10:39] Ronaldo**
Will anyone let me give them the shot?
**[10:41] Draluc**
What is this, a school play?
**[10:42] Shot**
It's like the beginning of the war on drugs
videos we had to watch in elementary school.
**[10:45] Ronaldo**
Shut up!
**[10:47] Satetsu**
If you'll have me...
**[10:49] Draluc**
It's super working, though.
**[10:51] Ronaldo**
All right, come here, Satetsu!
**[10:52] Yomotsuzaka**
Oh, is there also someone around who'd let me
try out various experiments on them?
**[10:57] Ronaldo**
You scum!
**[10:58] Yomotsuzaka**
Like seeing if the anti-vampire
anesthetics work or not,
**[11:01] Yomotsuzaka**
and letting me collect a blood sample...
**[11:05] Ronaldo**
He ran from the pressure!
**[11:06] Shot**
Satetsu!
**[11:07] Yomotsuzaka**
Oh, no, hurry up and chase him
with this test drug.
**[11:10] Ronaldo**
Give me the cure!
**[11:13] Ronaldo**
Where'd he go?!
It'll be bad if he attacks someone!
**[11:16] Shot**
He's really fast.
**[11:18] Shot**
We'll have to predict his path
and go around to catch him!
**[11:21] Ronaldo**
There he is! He's waiting
responsibly for the walk signal!
**[11:24] Ronaldo**
Wait, Satetsu! The drug!
**[11:26] Shot**
It's no good. He's raising
his arm as he crosses.
**[11:28] Shinichi**
Let's do that "*dukushi*" thing again!
**[11:30] Hiroshi/Makoto**
--Okay, let's do it.
--Yeah!
**[11:31] Ronaldo**
Oh, no! There are kids here!
**[11:33] Shot**
Stop, Satetsu!
**[11:45] Shinichi/Hiroshi/Makoto**
Ooh, you're in trouble!
**[11:48] Ronaldo**
All right, this is our chance!
**[11:50] Ronaldo**
Let's put back the bikes
to make him less wary of us.
**[11:53] Shot**
Right!
**[11:56] Shinichi**
If we lift this one,
can't we push them all back up?
**[11:59] Hiroshi**
Great idea, Shin!
**[12:01] Shot**
Satetsu, get a hold of yourself!
**[12:03] Ronaldo**
Come on, take the medicine.
It'll just feel like a little pinch!
**[12:07] Shot**
If you're good, I'll give you a rice ball.
**[12:09] Draluc**
What is he, a dog?
**[12:11] Shinichi**
Ow!
**[12:12] Shinichi**
Aw, man! I cut my hand.
**[12:13] Makoto**
Whoa, are you okay? You're bleeding.
**[12:16] Hiroshi**
Looks painful.
**[12:19] Ronaldo**
Satetsu!
**[12:20] Satetsu**
Kids... I don't... want to attack them!
**[12:26] Satetsu**
Please stop me...
**[12:30] Ronaldo**
Damn it!
**[12:31] Ronaldo**
Stay put, Satetsu!
**[12:41] Ronaldo**
Damn it, there's no time to go
easy on you! Sorry, Satetsu.
**[12:44] Ronaldo**
I'm gonna use a tranquilizer!
**[12:49] Ronaldo**
Satetsu!
**[13:04] Satetsu**
A-Are you okay...? Sorry...
**[13:10] Satetsu**
You shouldn't stay here... Okay...?
**[13:18] Ronaldo**
And so, Satetsu's back to normal,
but *you* have something you should say, right?!
**[13:25] Satetsu**
Let him go...
**[13:27] Yomotsuzaka**
S-Satetsu reminds me...
of a dog I had in the past...
**[13:33] Ronaldo**
So? What's that got to do with it?!
**[13:35] Satetsu**
I-It's fine, Ronaldo.
**[13:38] Satetsu**
The drug made me out of control
because I was too mentally weak...
**[13:42] Ronaldo**
You should be more mad!
**[13:44] Satetsu**
Well...
**[13:45] Satetsu**
Honestly, I was mortified to have
other people see me go crazy like that.
**[13:51] Satetsu**
It was the worst.
**[13:53] Satetsu**
But no one was hurt,
and I was able to save the kids, so...
**[13:59] Satetsu**
I guess all's well that ends well.
**[14:01] Yomotsuzaka**
Yes, thanks for forgiving me.
**[14:04] Ronaldo**
I told you, you can be more mad at him!
**[14:06] Hiroshi**
Hey, let's watch that fight again!
**[14:08] Makoto**
Okay. I got it starting from when he
knocked over the bikes and was crying.
**[14:11] Etiquette Breacher**
I shared it with all my friends on Messe!
**[14:17] Draluc**
I guess someone *was* hurt.
**[14:20] Satetsu**
Right?
**[14:24] Sign**
"Last Stop, Ura-Shin-Yokohama"
**[14:26] Ronaldo**
Man, that *yakiniku* was really
cheap and delicious, huh?
**[14:30] Shot**
It's nice to leave Shin-Yoko
once in a while, huh?
**[14:32] Bubuo**
It looks like the maps of both
your lives will end in Shin-Yoko.
**[14:35] Ronaldo**
Even though you're an idiot, you're pretty
poetic about stuff like that, huh?
**[14:38] Ronaldo**
Can I punch you?
**[14:39] Etiquette Breacher**
Oh, hello? Grandpa?
I'm on my way home.
**[14:42] Ronaldo**
You're a good grandson, but hang that up!
**[15:04] Sign**
"Ronaldo"
"Could not connect"
**[15:23] Ronaldo**
Crap, we're here.
**[15:25] Ronaldo**
Everyone, wake up! We're getting off.
**[15:38] Ronaldo**
Where are we?
**[15:39] Sign**
"Ura-Shin-Yokohama"
**[15:48] Ronaldo**
How's it look over there?
**[15:49] Shot**
It's no good.
**[15:51] Shot**
It's a strange, dark space outside,
and we can't leave even if we tried.
**[15:55] Ronaldo**
The tracks are like that, too.
**[15:57] Bubuo**
There's no one in any of the stores, either.
**[15:59] Ronaldo**
Where'd you get that chocolate?!
**[16:01] Etiquette Breacher**
I wanna play a game,
but there's no cell service.
**[16:04] Shot**
"The only person who isn't
looking around properly."
**[16:06] Shot**
That's the etiquette he was
probably trying to breach.
**[16:08] Shot**
But he looked into the cell service for us.
**[16:12] Ronaldo**
Thanks, moron.
**[16:14] Sign**
"Ura-Shin-Yokohama Store"
**[16:14] Ronaldo**
There's just one thing we know--
**[16:16] Sign**
"Ura-Shin-Yokohama Branch"
**[16:18] Ronaldo**
We're trapped in this "Ura-Shin-Yokohama
Station" or whatever it's called.
**[16:25] Sign**
"Vampire - Ura-Shin-Yokohama"
**[16:27] Ura-Shin-Yokohama**
No one can escape my barrier.
**[16:31] Ura-Shin-Yokohama**
Once you've fallen to the depths of despair,
I will partake in all of your life force!
**[16:38] Ronaldo**
What should we do now?
**[16:41] Shot**
We can't find the exit,
and we can't contact the outside world,
**[16:44] Shot**
so there's no way to go back.
**[16:49] Ronaldo**
Oh, well! Whether it's reversed or not,
Shin-Yoko's like our home ground!
**[16:53] Shot**
Let's explore! Explore!
**[16:55] Bubuo**
Good idea!
**[16:56] Ura-Shin-Yokohama**
Huh?!
**[16:58] Shot**
First, if you try leaving from here,
you think you've left, but then you come back.
**[17:02] Shot**
Bubuo will demonstrate.
**[17:05] Ronaldo**
Huh?
**[17:06] Ronaldo**
That's super gross.
**[17:08] Shot**
Then, if you pull down
your pants in this position,
**[17:10] Shot**
it'll be the first time in your life
that you can see your own ass.
**[17:13] Bubuo**
Th-This is my ass?!
**[17:15] Ronaldo**
What's the point of looking at that?!
Do you gain anything from it?!
**[17:18] Shot**
But if you miss this chance,
you'll probably never get another one.
**[17:23] Bubuo**
Living normally, you've got a
0% chance of being able to do it.
**[17:26] Bubuo**
It's many trillion times rarer than
watching the Olympics in person!
**[17:30] Ronaldo**
Whoa... it really feels like an ass.
**[17:33] Shot**
Right? Aren't you glad you did it?
**[17:34] Bubuo**
It's rounder than I expected.
**[17:40] Bubuo**
Huh? The train's gone.
**[17:44] Ronaldo**
I've always wanted to try
going into one of these spaces.
**[17:47] Etiquette Breacher**
Me, too!
**[17:48] Shot**
It's like camping, or a secret hideout.
**[17:55] Bubuo**
There was a girl I really liked in the past...
**[17:58] Etiquette Breacher**
He's suddenly starting to talk about girls!
**[18:00] Bubuo**
Actually, Eri really liked me--
**[18:03] Etiquette Breacher**
He's obviously exaggerating!
**[18:06] Shot**
When I was in fourth grade--
**[18:07] Etiquette Breacher**
He's going so far back!
**[18:10] Ronaldo**
When I was young, I had so many pet turtles--
**[18:13] Shot**
Don't force yourself to join in.
**[18:14] Etiquette Breacher**
You've got less experience in love than Bubuo!
**[18:20] Shot**
I see. If we're inside the station,
we can move however we want.
**[18:24] Etiquette Breacher**
Sure looks like it.
**[18:26] Shot**
And since there's no one here but us--
**[18:32] All**
We've got the station to ourselves!
**[18:37] Shot**
Oh, man! I've always wanted
to lie on the floor here!
**[18:41] Ronaldo**
There are souvenirs, so we don't
have to worry about food!
**[18:46] Bubuo**
Take a look at this! It's one of those
hamburger-like delicious things.
**[18:50] Ronaldo**
One of those things you're happy to get
but wouldn't buy for yourself!
**[18:55] Ronaldo**
The bookstore instantly
transforms into a manga library!
**[18:59] Shot**
Try opening up those drawers at the bottom!
**[19:02] Bubuo**
And train on the escalators!
**[19:05] Shot**
And fall asleep in a massage chair!
**[19:08] Shot**
No matter what you do right now,
you won't breach etiquette, hey!
**[19:14] Shot**
Sorry.
**[19:15] Ronaldo/Shot**
--It's livable!
--This is...
**[19:17] Ronaldo**
...our very own Ura-Shin-Yoko Kingdom!
**[19:23] Ura-Shin-Yokohama**
I need to break them down, and fast!
**[19:32] Bubuo**
What's going on?!
**[19:33] Etiquette Breacher**
I-It's like a maze...
**[19:37] Shot**
We've got no choice.
Shall we smash it down?
**[19:41] Ronaldo**
If Satetsu were here,
he'd be able to do it in one punch.
**[19:51] Ronaldo**
Is something broken?
**[19:52] Shot**
Calm down.
**[19:53] Shot**
When electrical appliances
are on the fritz, punch them.
**[19:57] Ronaldo**
Take that!
**[20:01] Shot**
It's back.
**[20:03] Sign**
"HELP...HELP...HELP...HELP..."
**[20:07] Bubuo**
That's scary!
**[20:08] Ronaldo**
What the heck?
**[20:09] Shot**
Punch it.
**[20:11] Ronaldo**
Take that!
**[20:16] Shot**
What's wrong?
**[20:17] Bubuo**
The text in the manga looks gross!
**[20:20] Ronaldo**
There are a ton of typos!
**[20:22] Bubuo**
I'll leave it on the counter for now.
**[20:25] Ronaldo**
An earthquake!
**[20:26] Shot**
Punch it!
**[20:29] Shot**
Take that!
**[20:31] Bubuo**
Oh, shoot! The passageway's gotten really long,
and the bathroom's super far away now.
**[20:34] Etiquette Breacher**
That sucks.
**[20:36] Bubuo**
I've got no choice.
I'll go over there somewhere.
**[20:42] Ura-Shin-Yokohama**
Everyone, I'm sorry for
all the trouble you've had.
**[20:46] Ura-Shin-Yokohama**
I would like to apologize
for making you lost in here
**[20:50] Ura-Shin-Yokohama**
and put the space back to how it was before.
**[20:52] Ura-Shin-Yokohama**
If you take the next train that comes in,
you will be able to return to Shin-Yokohama.
**[20:57] Ura-Shin-Yokohama**
Oh, I'm not anyone suspicious, really.
**[21:00] Ura-Shin-Yokohama**
Seriously, you can go home now--
**[21:02] Ronaldo**
We will not go back yet!
**[21:04] Ura-Shin-Yokohama**
Huh?
**[21:05] Ronaldo**
S-Sorry!
**[21:07] Ronaldo**
I'm not sure what I'm saying. But for some
reason, I don't want to leave this place yet.
**[21:12] Shot**
Ronaldo.
**[21:14] Shot**
I get it! I still want to play with
the drones they sell at Bic Camera!
**[21:19] Ronaldo**
Shot...
**[21:20] Bubuo**
Me, too!
**[21:21] Bubuo**
I wanna go into a restaurant
and eat whatever I want!
**[21:24] Etiquette Breacher**
And I...
**[21:26] Etiquette Breacher**
I'll definitely come up with a breach
of etiquette that even works in here!
**[21:31] Ronaldo**
You guys...
**[21:37] All**
It's livable! This is our very own
Ura-Shin-Yoko Kingdom!
**[21:44] Ura-Shin-Yokohama**
Please, go home!
**[23:27] Sign**
"Entering Runaway State"
**[23:27] Sign**
"Time left: 5 minutes"
**[23:29] Sign**
"Continue?"
**[23:31] Sign**
"Or fall?"
**[23:32] Draluc**
Now that it's come to this, I will...!
**[23:36] Draluc**
The vampire dies in no time!
# E6 - The Deadline March
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/G8WUNMQZ7/the-deadline-march)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:00] Draluc**
Vampiric vegetables came out
of the closet, and it's scary!
**[00:03] Draluc**
So...
**[00:05] Draluc**
I bought some vampire bait!
**[00:08] Draluc**
Now, where shall I place it?
**[00:12] Draluc**
For those of you who thought,
"He's just going to get caught and die himself,"
**[00:16] Draluc**
you'll be sorry you underestimated
a superior vampi-- Sand.
**[00:22] Sign**
"Vampire Bait"
**[00:22] Draluc**
Help me, John.
**[00:27] Draluc**
You little-- I fell right into
one of those tacky clichés...
**[00:31] Draluc**
And it left me sticky.
**[00:35] Draluc**
This is...
**[02:08] Draluc**
It's a picture of Ronaldo.
There are lots of them!
**[02:09] Sign**
"Big Brother Saga, Light Chapter"
**[02:12] Draluc**
If there are any embarrassing pictures,
I'll sell them off to Kameya.
**[02:17] Draluc**
If you ignore what he's doing,
you could say he was a handsome boy.
**[02:20] Draluc**
Is that his little sister? How cute--
**[02:23] Draluc**
But why are you putting rice
on her stomach? Stop that.
**[02:27] Draluc**
What is he doing?
**[02:29] Draluc**
Yup.
**[02:30] Draluc**
Ronaldo was an idiot.
**[02:33] Draluc**
Oh? Is this Ronaldo's older brother...?
**[02:39] Draluc**
I feel like I've seen him somewhere before...
**[02:43] Draluc**
Oh, well, it doesn't matter.
I wonder if there are any funnier pictur--
**[02:46] Draluc**
Sand...
**[02:47] Ronaldo**
Don't rummage through my stuff
without asking, you idiot!
**[02:49] Draluc**
Why, I didn't know you had siblings!
**[02:53] Ronaldo**
Yeah. My brother was a hunter, too.
**[02:56] Draluc**
More importantly,
what kind of girl is your sister?
**[02:58] Draluc**
Do you think her blood's delicious?
**[02:59] Draluc**
Sand...
**[03:00] Draluc**
If he *was* a hunter, does that
mean he's not one anymore?
**[03:03] Ronaldo**
Yeah. He works at the Vampire
Control Division now.
**[03:07] Draluc**
Is he the captain from that time I was a crab?
**[03:10] Ronaldo**
A crab?
**[03:11] Draluc**
Wait, do Handa and Hinaichi
know he's your brother?
**[03:15] Ronaldo**
Probably not. I haven't said anything.
**[03:17] Ronaldo**
If I did, I feel like it'd turn into
a huge pain in the ass.
**[03:20] Hinaichi/Handa**
--Wee?! Wee-wee we-wee?!
--R-R-R-Ronaldo...!
**[03:22] Draluc**
Yes, I can imagine.
**[03:24] Draluc**
But why did he go from being
a hunter to Vamp Control?
**[03:27] Draluc**
Sounds like a juicy story! Tell me!
**[03:29] Ronaldo**
Sorry. I don't feel like
talking about it right now.
**[03:33] Draluc**
Oh, really? Okay.
John, let's play a game.
**[03:38] Ronaldo**
It was when I was still a kid...
**[03:41] Draluc**
If you want to talk about it,
then say you want to talk about it.
**[03:44] Ronaldo**
When I was still a kid--
**[03:47] Ronaldo**
My brother was just starting out as a hunter.
**[03:50] Ronaldo (age 10)**
Big Bro, Big Bro!
**[03:52] Ronaldo (age 10)**
Buy me another popsicle!
**[03:54] Hiyoshi**
What, finished already?
**[03:56] Ronaldo (age 10)**
Yup! I'm done!
**[03:58] Hiyoshi**
Even if I don't buy one, if you bury
that stick, it'll grow into a new one.
**[04:01] Ronaldo (age 10)**
Are you serious, Big Bro?!
**[04:04] Ronaldo**
I believed him for a while and
took care of the stick in a planter.
**[04:09] Ronaldo**
And then, when I started middle school--
**[04:12] Draluc**
Sorry, can you skip to the important parts?
**[04:15] Draluc**
I know you're an idiot already.
**[04:17] Draluc**
There's more, right? Like, what kind
of hunter was your brother?
**[04:21] Ronaldo**
Shut up, I'm getting there!
**[04:25] Ronaldo**
My brother was an amazing hunter.
**[04:30] Ronaldo**
He was an expert marksman.
**[04:32] Ronaldo**
Ever since he was a rookie, he fought
right there next to the veterans,
**[04:36] Ronaldo**
and he could take down any vampire.
**[04:38] Ronaldo**
He was the most famous hunter
around these parts.
**[04:43] Ronaldo**
My brother practically raised us.
He became a hunter for me and my sister.
**[04:51] Ronaldo**
I'm sure it was tough,
but he never showed it in front of us.
**[04:56] Ronaldo**
He was everyone's hero.
**[04:59] Ronaldo**
He did more than one or two thousand jobs.
**[05:03] Ronaldo**
Of course, he was also
really popular with the girls.
**[05:05] Ronaldo**
But because he was so virtuous,
he acted so gentlemanly to all the girls.
**[05:09] Sign**
"Big Brother
Gun
Sword Infinite Bullets ESP Beam Strength Coolness"
**[05:09] Ronaldo**
And he wasn't just a good marksman,
he was also a good swordsman,
**[05:11] Ronaldo**
and he could ride horses and shoot beams!
**[05:14] Ronaldo**
Hey, he's turning into a card
made by a grade schooler.
**[05:18] Ronaldo**
He really was super amazing!
**[05:21] Ronaldo**
So amazing that I thought about writing
about him in *The Ronaldo Chronicles*!
**[05:24] Sign**
"My big brother's amazing and strong and level
infinity and he's good at using a sword
and at horseback riding and can shoot beams. He's popular with girls and amazing, and he can even fly and he's a hero and virtuous and gentlemanly."
**[05:24] Draluc**
If fans start reading an adventure story
that ends up being all about your brother,
**[05:27] Draluc**
they're going to be really confused.
**[05:29] Ronaldo**
When I was a kid, I'd copy my brother...
**[05:32] Ronaldo (age 10)**
I'll hunt you down!
**[05:34] Ronaldo**
...and try to hunt my sister.
**[05:36] Draluc**
That's awful and idiotic,
and I feel bad for your sister.
**[05:40] Ronaldo**
Don't feel bad. I *lost* to her!
**[05:43] Draluc**
That's even worse.
**[05:45] Draluc**
So did you want to become a hunter
because you admired your brother?
**[05:48] Ronaldo**
Shut up. What's wrong with that?
**[05:50] Draluc**
But if your brother was so amazing,
then why did he quit being a hunter?
**[05:56] Ronaldo**
Well...
**[05:59] Ronaldo**
Bro! Bro, it's about time you
taught me about being a hunter!
**[06:05] Ronaldo**
I want to become a hunter and help you!
**[06:08] Hiyoshi**
Give it up. Being a hunter's just dangerous.
**[06:13] Ronaldo**
Wait, Br--
**[06:17] Sign**
"A Cultural History of Vampires"
**[06:17] Ronaldo**
Even I...
**[06:21] Ronaldo**
Maybe he thinks I don't have
what it takes to be a hunter...
**[06:27] Male Student**
Get away! It's a vampire!
**[06:29] Male Student**
Someone, call a hunter!
**[06:35] Ronaldo**
I... I did it! I defeated a vampire!
**[06:38] Ronaldo**
With this, I'm sure my brother
will acknowledge me!
**[06:41] Hiyoshi**
Where is it?!
**[06:43] Hiyoshi**
Hey, are you all right?
**[06:44] Ronaldo**
Bro, look! I--
**[06:57] Ronaldo**
Bro!
**[07:00] Ronaldo**
Sometime after that, I found out.
**[07:04] Ronaldo**
That my brother was going
to quit being a hunter.
**[07:09] Ronaldo**
It...
**[07:11] Ronaldo**
It was my fault you got hurt,
so it's my fault you're quitting...
**[07:16] Hiyoshi**
It's not your fault.
**[07:19] Ronaldo**
Br--
**[07:20] Hiyoshi**
It's all my responsibility.
**[07:23] Ronaldo**
What the heck?
**[07:25] Ronaldo**
You...
**[07:27] Ronaldo**
You're always like this!
Taking it on yourself!
**[07:33] Hiyoshi**
Hey, wait! It really isn't your fault--
**[07:36] Hiyoshi**
Hey! Wait!
**[07:40] Ronaldo**
After that, I begged a guild hunter
to take me on as an apprentice.
**[07:45] Ronaldo**
Since it was my fault my brother
couldn't be a hunter anymore,
**[07:49] Ronaldo**
I wanted to be strong enough to take his place.
**[07:53] Ronaldo**
But then, my brother joined Vamp Control.
**[07:57] Ronaldo**
I was glad that my brother was still himself
even after he quit being a hunter,
**[08:02] Ronaldo**
but maybe that was because
I imposed my ideals onto him.
**[08:08] Ronaldo**
Thinking that made it hard to go and see him.
**[08:14] Ronaldo**
Aw, man, it's totally out of character
for me to talk about something so gloomy.
**[08:19] Ronaldo**
But talking about it helped me
get my thoughts in order.
**[08:22] Ronaldo**
All right, I've decided!
**[08:24] Sign**
"Chapter X
Big Brother Saga"
**[08:24] Ronaldo**
I'm going to write about my brother
in *The Ronaldo Chronicles*!
**[08:26] Draluc**
Don't do that.
**[08:27] Ronaldo**
Writing about him is the least
I can do to atone!
**[08:30] Ronaldo**
I've just run out of things to write for
volume 3, too. It's perfect timing!
**[08:33] Draluc**
You're just trying to escape reality.
**[08:38] Ronaldo**
Oh, Bro?!
**[08:41] Sign**
"Younger Sister - Himari"
"Crayfish vs. Lobster"
**[08:42] Draluc**
Don't change the channel!
**[08:45] Sign**
"Big Brother Saga, Dark Chapter"
**[08:46] Hiyoshi**
What's the matter, Sagyo?
You seem down.
**[08:49] Hiyoshi**
Oh, well, it's about this hunter named Ronaldo.
**[08:50] Sign**
"Kanagawa Prefectural Police
Vampire Control Division
Captain - Hiyoshi"
**[08:54] Sagyo**
I caused him a lot of trouble the
other day, and I feel bad about it.
**[08:58] Hiyoshi**
I see.
**[08:59] Sagyo**
He just laughed and said it was okay, but...
**[09:02] Ronaldo**
I do it all the time, too.
**[09:03] Hiyoshi**
I don't think that's great, either.
**[09:06] Hiyoshi**
I'll reprimand Handa later--
**[09:08] Hiyoshi**
Right. I'll go apologize to Ronaldo in person.
**[09:11] Sagyo**
Huh? No, it's not--
**[09:15] Sagyo**
Thank you. I'm sorry to
cause you trouble, Captain--
**[09:18] Hiyoshi**
No, it's my responsibility as your supervisor.
**[09:21] Hiyoshi**
Besides, it's a good chance.
**[09:26] Hiyoshi**
It's been a while since I had
a proper visit with my little brother.
**[09:30] Hiyoshi**
Ever since I quit being a hunter
because of that,
**[09:33] Hiyoshi**
it's been hard to go and see him.
**[09:36] Hiyoshi**
If we can take this chance to talk--
**[09:39] Ronaldo**
My brother was an amazing hunter.
**[09:42] Hiyoshi**
What? He's talking about me!
**[09:45] Hiyoshi**
Oh, that makes it hard to go in.
**[09:48] Ronaldo**
He was an expert marksman.
**[09:50] Ronaldo**
He was the most famous
hunter around these parts.
**[09:53] Ronaldo**
He became a hunter for me and my sister.
**[09:57] Hiyoshi**
He's put me on some kind of weird pedestal!
**[10:01] Hiyoshi**
I became a hunter to be popular with girls!
**[10:04] Hiyoshi**
H-Hunters are popular with girls!
It's the only job for me!
**[10:04] Sign**
"Top 10 Jobs Popular with Girls
Definitive Edition"
**[10:07] Hiyoshi**
There'll be a nonstop parade of girls
to make a sumptuous feast every day!
**[10:11] Hiyoshi**
I chose my job based on how popular
it'd be with girls, so I had only one choice.
**[10:15] Ronaldo**
He was everyone's hero.
**[10:17] Ronaldo**
He was also really popular with the girls.
**[10:19] Hiyoshi**
I just used my status as a hunter
to pick up a bunch of girls!
**[10:22] Ronaldo**
But because he was so virtuous,
he acted so gentlemanly to all the girls.
**[10:26] Hiyoshi**
I was playing around with everything I had!
**[10:28] Hiyoshi**
I brought girls into the guild and made
champagne towers, you know!
**[10:32] Ronaldo**
And he wasn't just a good marksman,
he was also a good swordsman,
**[10:35] Ronaldo**
and he could ride horses and shoot beams!
**[10:37] Hiyoshi**
I can't shoot beams!
**[10:38] Hiyoshi**
In the time that's passed since I last saw him,
I've turned into a kind of superman in his head.
**[10:44] Hiyoshi**
Maybe I'll come back another day.
**[10:45] Ronaldo**
It was my fault my brother
couldn't be a hunter anymore.
**[10:49] Hiyoshi**
No, it wasn't!
**[10:50] Hiyoshi**
How many times do I have
to tell you? That was a scratch!
**[10:53] Hiyoshi**
It's true that it was because of an injury that
my grip weakened and couldn't use a gun anymore,
**[10:57] Hiyoshi**
but that was--
**[10:58] Vampire Badger Game**
You fell for it, idiot!
**[11:00] Hiyoshi**
Soon after that, I fell for a badger
game vampire and got bitten!
**[11:04] Hiyoshi**
It was so lame that I couldn't tell you!
**[11:08] Hiyoshi**
I didn't think he was tormenting
himself about it that much...
**[11:11] Hiyoshi**
I want to correct him somehow, but...
**[11:12] Ronaldo**
But talking about it helped me
get my thoughts in order.
**[11:15] Ronaldo**
All right, I've decided!
**[11:16] Ronaldo**
I'm going to write about my brother
in *The Ronaldo Chronicles*!
**[11:19] Hiyoshi**
Don't do that!
**[11:23] Ronaldo**
Oh, Bro?!
**[11:25] Hiyoshi**
Crap, I went inside!
**[11:27] Hiyoshi**
Well, now that I'm here, I need to
correct his assumptions somehow!
**[11:32] Hiyoshi**
Sorry, I wasn't trying to eavesdrop.
**[11:35] Hiyoshi**
I just came to apologize for my subordinate.
**[11:37] Ronaldo**
Oh, that's...
**[11:39] Hiyoshi**
By the way, you seem to have a slight
misunderstanding about me...
**[11:47] Draluc**
Sorry to interrupt.
Can John have your autograph?
**[11:51] Draluc**
It looks like he became a fan of yours
after hearing Ronaldo talk about you.
**[11:56] Hiyoshi**
Uh, right...
**[11:57] Draluc**
Like how you can shoot beams and stuff.
**[12:00] Hiyoshi**
This guy's having too much fun with this!
**[12:02] Hiyoshi**
Well, I can't really shoot beams right now...
**[12:04] Ronaldo**
It's my fault!
**[12:06] Ronaldo**
It's because of the injury he got
while protecting me!
**[12:08] Ronaldo**
I didn't just take away being a hunter
from him, I even stole his beams!
**[12:12] Hiyoshi**
And what are *you* saying?!
**[12:14] Hiyoshi**
How many times do I have to tell you?
I quit being a hunter for a different reason.
**[12:18] Ronaldo**
You're lying. You're just saying that
out of consideration for me...
**[12:21] Hiyoshi**
I told you, it's something else!
**[12:23] Hiyoshi**
This is the reason.
**[12:25] Hiyoshi**
When I protected you,
I was bitten on the shoulder, right?
**[12:30] Hiyoshi**
Do you get it now?
It really isn't your fault.
**[12:35] Hiyoshi**
I didn't think you still
thought it was your fault.
**[12:38] Hiyoshi**
Sorry for not noticing.
**[12:41] Ronaldo**
It's fine... But then,
how did you get that injury?
**[12:46] Hiyoshi**
Well, a bunch of stuff happened
and then... I was injured.
**[12:49] Ronaldo**
You're suddenly irrational!
**[12:50] Draluc**
Were you tricked by a sexy
vampire lady and bitten?
**[12:55] Ronaldo/Draluc**
--That'd never happen to my brother, moron!
--Sand!
**[12:59] Sign**
"To John
Hiyoshi"
**[13:01] Draluc**
You, too, John?!
**[13:02] Ronaldo**
My virtuous brother wouldn't
make such a dumb mistake.
**[13:05] Ronaldo**
There must be a profound reason for it, right?
**[13:07] Hiyoshi**
Right... um...
**[13:09] Hiyoshi**
Well, this injury is... you know...
**[13:13] Hiyoshi**
Um... From when I sealed
an evil god into my right arm.
**[13:15] Ronaldo**
An evil god?!
**[13:17] Hiyoshi**
I defeated a vampire powerful
enough to be called an evil god
**[13:20] Hiyoshi**
and sealed the remains
of the soul in my right arm.
**[13:25] Hiyoshi/Ronaldo**
--That's what this scar is from.
--Bro!
**[13:28] Hiyoshi**
Just in case that evil god
regains consciousness,
**[13:32] Hiyoshi**
I decided not to use a gun
with my right hand anymore.
**[13:35] Ronaldo**
I didn't know you had
such a hidden saga like that.
**[13:39] Hiyoshi**
I also don't shoot beams anymore
to keep the evil god from escaping my body.
**[13:43] Ronaldo**
Bro!
**[13:45] Hiyoshi**
Right, so anyway--
It's not your fault.
**[13:50] Ronaldo**
You were fighting so hard
without anyone knowing...
**[13:53] Ronaldo**
I... I...
**[13:57] Ronaldo**
I'll write about it in *The Ronaldo Chronicles*!
**[13:59] Hiyoshi**
No...!
**[14:00] Hiyoshi**
Why would you take it in that direction, idiot?!
**[14:03] Ronaldo**
I think I became an author
in order to write this story.
**[14:06] Hiyoshi**
You're a *hunter*! Open your eyes!
**[14:09] Draluc**
With such a grand story,
**[14:11] Draluc**
getting *The Ronaldo Chronicles* made into
a movie isn't just a dream, right, Ronaldo?
**[14:14] Ronaldo**
I'm so motivated now.
**[14:15] Sign**
"Shin-Yokohama's Steven King"
**[14:15] Hiyoshi**
Don't encourage him!
**[14:17] Ronaldo**
I couldn't think of what to write in
the third volume, so this is perfect!
**[14:20] Hiyoshi**
Hey!
**[14:21] Hiyoshi**
I mean, you can't write about it in your book.
**[14:24] Hiyoshi**
If what's in my arm becomes known to the world,
**[14:27] Hiyoshi**
then vampires who want to revive
the evil god might, you know...
**[14:31] Hiyoshi**
...come and attack me!
**[14:33] Hiyoshi**
If that happens, it'll cause
trouble for you guys, too.
**[14:36] Hiyoshi**
So, um... don't do it.
**[14:39] Ronaldo**
It's kind of irrational, but, Bro--!
**[14:43] Hiyoshi**
Besides, you shouldn't be writing about me.
**[14:48] Hiyoshi**
*The Ronaldo Chronicles* is about *you*, right?
**[14:52] Hiyoshi**
You know, I'm really happy
that you've become a fine hunter.
**[14:57] Hiyoshi**
I want to read more about the hunter, Ronaldo.
**[15:01] Ronaldo**
Bro...!
**[15:03] Ronaldo**
All right!
**[15:05] Hiyoshi**
Yes! I dodged a bullet!
**[15:08] Hiyoshi**
Well, anyway, it was good seeing you. Later!
**[15:10] Ronaldo**
Yeah, later, Bro!
**[15:14] Hiyoshi**
Oh, yeah, see you later, too, 'Madillo!
**[15:18] Draluc**
Um, John says, please take care...
of your arm... with the evil god sealed in it...
**[15:29] Hiyoshi**
Right.
**[15:31] Hiyoshi**
I want to jump out the window.
**[15:34] Hiyoshi**
But I'm an adult, so I won't.
**[15:37] Sign**
"Shin-Yokohama Police Station"
**[15:39] Handa**
Did you know? Ronaldo's big brother
has an evil god sealed in his arm!
**[15:43] Hinaichi**
I also heard about the hero
who could once shoot beams.
**[15:47] Sagyo**
Yeah, he's famous. Did you hear
about him, too, Captain?
**[15:51] Handa**
Where do the beams shoot out from?
**[15:57] Fukuma**
Hm, you're almost done with the manuscript
for *The Ronaldo Chronicles* volume 3,
**[15:57] Sign**
"The Deadline March"
**[16:01] Fukuma**
but you can't come up with a good conclusion?
**[16:04] Fukuma**
This is a problem. The deadline's coming up...
**[16:08] Ronaldo**
Yes... I'm sorry...
**[16:10] Fukuma**
You've gotten used to being in the iron
maiden recently, too, haven't you?
**[16:14] Ronaldo**
It's nice for writing when I'm relaxed, though.
**[16:17] Fukuma**
Then why don't we try a writer's retreat?
**[16:21] Ronaldo**
Writer's retreat?
**[16:23] Fukuma**
You would stay in one of Autumn's writing
rooms until you finish your manuscript.
**[16:27] Ronaldo**
Whoa, that's like what a famous author would do.
**[16:30] Ronaldo**
O-Okay, I'll try it then.
**[16:34] Fukuma**
Then let's set the time limit for five hours.
**[16:41] Fukuma**
Autumn's special writing room has a desk
on a conveyor belt and various checkpoints.
**[16:49] Fukuma**
At the first checkpoint,
**[16:50] Fukuma**
a fresh egg mixture delivered direct
from the farm is released.
**[16:55] Fukuma**
At the second checkpoint, you'll be covered
with organic Autumn breadcrumbs.
**[17:00] Fukuma**
This is the Autumn frying oil
at the finish line.
**[17:03] Fukuma**
Please do your best to finish your manuscript
before you reach this point.
**[17:11] Draluc**
Do your best, Ronaldo!
**[17:12] Ronaldo**
I'll kill you! I'll definitely
kill you! Just wait!
**[17:16] Go**
You've got some spirit to use this, Ron!
**[17:20] Fukuma**
Yes, he does.
**[17:22] Draluc**
Oh, I feel bad for being the only
one having fun watching this!
**[17:26] Go**
Oh, is that right?
**[17:28] Go**
You've got guts, too, to put your body
on the line to motivate your friend!
**[17:33] Fukuma**
It's an Autumn robot that's
linked to the conveyor belt.
**[17:36] Fukuma**
When Ronaldo reaches the goal,
it'll spray Autumn garlic oil.
**[17:42] Fukuma**
Now, we will take our leave
so as not to distract Ronaldo.
**[17:47] Go**
I hope you'll write a great manuscript!
**[17:52] Draluc**
Wait a minute! Sand...
**[17:54] Draluc**
Hurry, Ronaldo! Put your back into it!
I'm seriously going to die!
**[17:58] Ronaldo**
Shut up! You don't have to tell me to hurry!
I've only got five hours--
**[18:04] Ronaldo**
If I have five hours, it should be fine.
**[18:06] Draluc**
Idiot! There's no way it'll be fine!
In five hours, you'll be a crispy fried Ronaldo!
**[18:11] Draluc**
Do you understand?!
**[18:13] Ronaldo**
Well, but I'm really close on my word count.
I can do it in like two hours.
**[18:17] Draluc**
You're here because you haven't been able
to do it! Get rid of that phone, idiot!
**[18:20] Ronaldo**
Oh, I got an email.
**[18:22] Draluc**
That idiot's hopeless. I can see
him fried deliciously already.
**[18:25] Draluc**
I'm not going to be served up with
a garlic dressing along with him!
**[18:28] Draluc**
Is there a switch to stop this somewhere?
**[18:32] Sign**
"Control Panel"
**[18:32] Draluc**
Oh, look, there it is.
**[18:35] Draluc**
I wish I could leave Ronaldo there,
but oh, well. "Stop." "Stop"...
**[18:40] Draluc**
Huh? Where's the "Stop" button?!
What menu do I have to open--?
**[18:45] Draluc**
Oh, it stopped.
**[18:46] Sign**
"Time remaining changed
Time left: 5 minutes
Confirmed You can't change it anymore"
**[18:52] Draluc**
Ronaldo!
**[18:54] Ronaldo**
What the hell did you do?! I'll kill--
**[18:56] Ronaldo**
I'm gonna die!
**[18:59] Ronaldo**
Mr. Fukuma! Go! Someone!
**[19:02] Sanzu**
Infiltration complete.
**[19:04] Sanzu**
Fukuma! I, Sanzu, will be Ronaldo's edito--
**[19:08] Sanzu**
What?!
**[19:09] Draluc**
Sanzu! I'm glad you're here!
**[19:11] Draluc**
There's been an accident!
Please stop the conveyor belt!
**[19:13] Sanzu**
What did you say?!
**[19:15] Sanzu**
Ronaldo! I'll go save you now!
**[19:23] Sanzu/Draluc**
--I can't get out...
--Moron!
**[19:25] Sanzu**
It can't be helped.
I'll shoot this at the bindings.
**[19:28] Ronaldo**
Can you even do that?!
**[19:30] Sanzu**
I *might* miss a little, but...
**[19:34] Sanzu**
I-It's fine! I'll try get as close
as possible before I shoot!
**[19:39] Sanzu**
He's still too far.
**[19:40] Sanzu**
Get closer...
**[19:42] Sanzu**
Now!
**[19:49] Draluc**
Oh, no! There's not much time before the goal!
**[19:52] Draluc**
Now that it's come to this...
**[19:54] Draluc**
If I jump into the inside of the conveyor belt,
I might be able to stop it.
**[20:02] Ronaldo**
Hurry up and get in there!
Who else is going to stop it, you idiot?!
**[20:05] Draluc**
Right! It's better to die by conveyor
belt than be covered in garlic!
**[20:14] Draluc**
That was kind of fun, so I'll do it again.
**[20:16] Ronaldo**
You stupid idiot!
**[20:17] Ronaldo**
Try harder to stop this!
**[20:20] Draluc**
Ronaldo!
**[20:23] Draluc**
It's started warming up!
**[20:31] Ronaldo**
Oh, no, this is it.
I'll be fried to a crisp now.
**[20:36] Ronaldo**
I can see my life flashing before my eyes.
**[20:42] Ronaldo**
I've got my conclusion!
**[20:45] Ronaldo**
A ray of hope shines down.
**[20:47] Ronaldo**
I'm filled with joy as I leave the people
behind and walk away quietly.
**[20:52] Ronaldo**
Because my battlefield
is in the pitch-black darkness.
**[20:58] Draluc**
He finished his manuscript!
**[21:00] Sign**
"Danger"
**[21:02] Draluc**
But the momentum--!
**[21:05] Draluc**
Ronaldo!
**[21:10] Ronaldo**
Autumn Grizzly! Why...?
**[21:13] Autumn Grizzly**
You successfully completed your manuscript.
**[21:17] Autumn Grizzly**
I give you my respect as
a member of Autumn Books.
**[21:20] Ronaldo**
Autumn Grizzly...
**[21:23] Autumn Robots**
Congratulations.
**[21:25] Autumn Grizzly**
Congratulations.
**[21:28] Draluc**
Ronaldo, congratulations.
**[21:32] Fukuma**
Good work.
**[21:34] Fukuma**
Thank you for the wonderful manuscript, Ronaldo.
**[21:37] Ronaldo**
Oh, no, thank *you*.
**[21:40] Autumn Robot/Ronaldo**
--Here's the garlic.
--I wasn't sure I'd finish,
**[21:42] Ronaldo**
but in the end, I think I was able
to write something good,
**[21:44] Ronaldo**
or at least, something good came to me.
**[21:46] Sign**
"Hot seller" "Recommended"
**[21:48] Sign**
"The War Chronicles of Ronaldo"
**[21:48] Handa**
I'll take these.
**[21:50] Salesclerk**
Would you like book covers for these?
**[21:53] Handa**
No, thank you.
**[23:25] Sign**
"An ancient"
**[23:27] Sign**
"Extermination method"
**[23:28] Ronaldo**
A hunter who exterminates
vampires indiscriminately?!
**[23:36] Draluc**
The vampire dies in no time.
# E7 - Put a Sock in It!!!
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GZ7UV45Z9/put-a-sock-in-it)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:01] Ronaldo**
A hunter who exterminates
vampires indiscriminately?
**[00:04] Master**
*Former* hunter, you mean.
**[00:06] Master**
To attack vampires coexisting
peacefully with humans...
**[00:09] Master**
A troublesome opponent even for us.
**[00:12] Master**
Draluc, please be careful, too.
**[00:15] Draluc/Master**
--Sand!
--Oh, dear.
**[00:16] Draluc**
I will!
**[01:57] Ronaldo**
Bastard, don't accidentally get killed.
It'll be annoying.
**[02:00] Draluc**
Who do you think I am?
**[02:01] Draluc**
I've got the unbeatable John Guard.
**[02:03] Draluc**
But if it comes down to it, you better
put your life on the line, youngster.
**[02:07] Ronaldo**
I'll kill you myself.
**[02:15] Ronaldo**
What?! What happened?!
**[02:18] Ronaldo**
Are you all right?
**[02:22] Draluc**
My socks were stolen!
**[02:24] Ronaldo**
Huh?
**[02:25] Daluc**
My socks! My socks...!
**[02:28] Ronaldo**
What the hell? I'll kill you.
**[02:30] Tabiko**
I've got them, all right.
**[02:33] Tabiko**
He's a weak vampire,
but he's got good taste in socks.
**[02:40] Tabiko**
Good smell...
**[02:41] Ronaldo**
Pervert!
**[02:43] Tabiko**
I am a human sock collection--
**[02:43] Sign**
"Human Sock Collection
Tabiko"
**[02:46] Tabiko**
I steal socks to exterminate various vampires.
**[02:49] Ronaldo**
Stealing socks to exterminate? What the--?
**[02:52] Draluc**
It's an ancient... method
of exterminating vampires...
**[02:56] Draluc**
Vampires have an attachment to their property,
**[03:00] Draluc**
so when their socks are stolen,
they break down from worry and die...
**[03:07] Tabiko**
I torment them slowly and weaken them.
**[03:09] Tabiko**
It's an extermination method
fitting for vampires.
**[03:12] Ronaldo**
It's just lame!
**[03:14] Tabiko**
I was able to get good socks at the outset.
**[03:16] Tabiko**
Farewell!
**[03:17] Ronaldo**
Wait, pervert!
**[03:20] Draluc**
Hurry... Hurry up and chase her...
**[03:23] Draluc**
Before more suffer at her hands!
**[03:26] Ronaldo**
Stop with the serious atmosphere. It's annoying.
**[03:29] Nudenium**
Compatriot!
**[03:33] Nudenium**
Were we too late?
**[03:34] Draluc**
Yeah... It's pathetic...
I've lost my edge...
**[03:39] Ronaldo**
What's with this B movie turn of events?
**[03:42] Etiquette Breacher**
H-Hey, this is a joke, right?
**[03:44] Etiquette Breacher**
You die in no time but then you
come right back happy, right?
**[03:47] Nudenium**
Don't underestimate the pain
of having your socks stolen.
**[03:51] Ronaldo**
It pisses me off that the guy
who doesn't wear socks is saying this.
**[03:55] Nudenium**
We need to get his socks back...
by daybreak, probably.
**[03:59] Ronaldo**
Just how much pain does
losing your socks cause?!
**[04:02] Draluc**
Don't...
**[04:05] Draluc**
Don't worry about me...
**[04:08] Draluc**
What's important is taking realistic
countermeasures in this situation.
**[04:12] Ronaldo**
Go buy a new pair at the convenience store!
**[04:15] Nudenium**
Hunter, what are you saying?!
**[04:16] Etiquette Breacher**
Are you telling him to
abandon his stolen socks?!
**[04:19] Ronaldo**
Just what are socks to you people anyway?!
**[04:21] Ronaldo**
What happens when you lose
one of a pair normally?!
**[04:24] Ronaldo**
But it's true that we need
to do something about her.
**[04:27] Ronaldo**
Before the good vampires
of Shin-Yoko get attacked...
**[04:32] Ronaldo**
Well, I can't tell with these images
whether they're good or not...
**[04:35] Yakyuken Lover**
Stop!
**[04:36] Tabiko**
I win. I'll take these tabi socks!
**[04:40] Ronaldo**
Oh, this guy, huh?
**[04:42] Yakyuken Lover**
It's against the rules!
**[04:43] Yakyuken Lover**
In *yakyuken*, the loser gets
to choose what order to strip in.
**[04:47] Yakyuken Lover**
To say nothing of stealing!
**[04:48] Yakyuken Lover**
It's blasphemy against *yakyuken*!
Unforgivable cultural destruction!
**[04:53] Ronaldo**
It's not often that you get to see
such pointless angry wailing.
**[04:57] Tabiko**
Next is you over there!
**[04:59] Tabiko**
Sock garters are just scraps of paper to me!
**[05:06] Micro Bikini**
I-Is that all you've got?
**[05:10] Micro Bikini**
Even without socks, I've got my bikini!
**[05:14] Micro Bikini**
As long as I've got my bikini, I'm immortal!
**[05:17] Ronaldo**
Oh, he held out against the attack!
**[05:19] Tabiko**
Guys like that... I'll defeat normally!
**[05:25] Tabiko**
I sense a vampire!
**[05:28] Ronaldo**
Passionate Kiss!
**[05:29] Ronaldo**
Socks don't matter here!
**[05:32] Passionate Kiss**
No, it's cold right now, so I'm wearing them.
**[05:35] Ronaldo**
Those are your legs?!
**[05:36] Tabiko**
A huge harvest!
**[05:39] Ronaldo**
Kiss!
**[05:41] Etiquette Breacher**
I-I'll take off my socks first
as a preemptive measure!
**[05:45] Etiquette Breacher**
Now you can't take them off--
**[05:46] Etiquette Breacher**
She just took them normally!
**[05:48] Ronaldo**
Of course she did!
**[05:49] Draluc**
Damn it, why?
**[05:51] Draluc**
Why is she taking socks from innocent vampires?
**[05:54] Ronaldo**
Getting socks involved turned
this serious matter into a joke!
**[05:58] Tabiko**
Very well, I'll tell you.
**[06:01] Tabiko**
When I was a young hunter,
I once fought an ancient, powerful vampire.
**[06:05] Sign**
"Vampire - 'Raven of the Solar Eclipse' Ventrue"
**[06:06] Tabiko**
I was at my wits' end.
**[06:09] Tabiko**
I was driven into a corner by the guy, who
seemed to be mocking me with every attack.
**[06:13] Tabiko**
I tried stealing his socks,
thinking it wouldn't do any good.
**[06:16] Tabiko**
He became so weak, I couldn't believe it.
**[06:18] Tabiko**
Seeing that, I thought...
**[06:22] Tabiko**
..."I'm so aroused."
**[06:23] Ronaldo**
That's a fetish!
**[06:25] Tabiko**
Yeah, it is!
**[06:26] Tabiko**
The only thing I'd give up my job and suddenly
do something so erratic for is a fetish!
**[06:30] Ronaldo**
Don't become defiant!
**[06:33] Mr. Lewd Talk**
It looks like I wasn't needed here.
**[06:36] Ronaldo**
What'd you come here for, bastard?
**[06:40] Ronaldo**
Idiot!
**[06:42] Tabiko**
I got a lot today, too!
Farewell, young hunter!
**[06:45] Ronaldo**
Damn it, what poise she has!
**[06:48] Draluc**
I... I have a plan...
**[06:55] Odd Creature**
Will that creature really come for these?
**[06:58] Ronaldo**
Yeah. She'll definite come take off your socks.
**[07:03] Ronaldo**
Don't get aroused by that!
**[07:05] Tabiko**
I'll take those!
**[07:09] Tabiko**
You... have no legs!
**[07:11] Draluc**
Dnass...!
**[07:14] Draluc**
Yes! I've taken them back!
**[07:17] Ronaldo**
All right!
**[07:18] Ronaldo**
Now, what'll you do next?!
**[07:22] Draluc**
What should I do...?
**[07:23] Ronaldo**
Idiot!
**[07:25] Draluc**
If you're going to steal socks,
do it after you've defeated Ronaldo!
**[07:31] Tabiko**
You're interesting!
**[07:32] Tabiko**
I thought you were small fry
that turned to ashes in no time,
**[07:35] Tabiko**
but that's not bad.
**[07:36] Tabiko**
Old vampires tend to rest on their laurels,
**[07:39] Tabiko**
and most aren't able to do
anything once they're cornered.
**[07:42] Tabiko**
But you're different, aren't you?
**[07:44] Tabiko**
You're not strong, but that was a good fight.
**[07:46] Tabiko**
I'll let you have your socks back for now.
**[07:50] Tabiko**
When you've gotten too proud,
I'll come back and steal them again.
**[07:53] Tabiko**
Farewell, for real this time!
**[07:58] Ronaldo**
That's no good!
**[08:04] Sign**
"Shin-Yokohama Police"
**[08:05] Sign**
"'Wee' Are the State"
"Shin-Yokohama Police"
**[08:05] Employee**
Sorry to bother you while you're busy.
**[08:07] Hinaichi**
It's fine. When you're in a different
department, the processes are different, too.
**[08:10] Hinaichi**
The documents are on the second
shelf from the top over there.
**[08:13] Employee**
This one, right?
**[08:16] Hinaichi**
Wee-wee!
**[08:17] Employee**
Wh-What did you say?
**[08:18] Hinaichi**
S-Sorry, it's like a spasm that
comes out when I'm surprised.
**[08:22] Hinaichi**
Oh, that one, too. Take out
that big wee you have there.
**[08:26] Employee**
Sorry, it's not very big!
**[08:28] Hinaichi**
No, I meant "file"!
I was trying to say "file"!
**[08:31] Hinaichi**
Wee...!
**[08:34] Hinaichi**
And well, at this rate, I'll just
cause more misunderstandings...
**[08:37] Hinaichi**
Please! Help me fix this!
**[08:40] Ronaldo**
Hmm, but that's an aftereffect of the vampire,
Mr. Lewd Talk's hypnosis, right?
**[08:46] Ronaldo**
Even if you ask me to fix it, I don't know how.
**[08:48] Hinaichi**
Wee...
**[08:50] Sign**
"Picture in his mind"
**[08:50] Draluc**
If you have another hypnosis user examine you,
they might be able to do something.
**[08:53] Draluc**
--But if it doesn't work, you'll end up like this.
**[08:55] Ronaldo/Draluc**
--Wee-wee!
--But if it doesn't work, you'll end up like this.
**[08:56] Ronaldo**
Why am I the example?!
**[08:58] Draluc**
Now, speaking of a respectable hypnotist...
**[09:03] Draus**
The heavens call! The earth calls!
**[09:05] Draus**
My son calls... so I am here!
**[09:08] Draluc**
We're counting on you, Father.
**[09:11] Hinaichi**
Can your father use hypnosis?
**[09:13] Draluc**
My father has pretty much all
the abilities a vampire could have.
**[09:18] Draluc**
That's right! He's the
Armamentalist of vampires!
**[09:20] Draluc**
The Red Mage!
A prince descended from a hero!
**[09:24] Draus**
Stop, you're embarrassing me.
**[09:26] Ronaldo**
She was hypnotized a while back,
and it's never really gone away.
**[09:30] Hinaichi**
Um, it was the vampire named Mr. Lewd Tal--
**[09:32] Draus**
What?!
**[09:33] Draus**
That crazy idiot! It was him again?
**[09:36] Draus**
That moron! Jerk! Yellow!
**[09:40] Draus**
Miss, I will definitely solve your problem!
I swear on my pride as a vampire lord!
**[09:46] Hinaichi**
Th-Thanks...
**[09:49] Draus**
Look at this flame.
**[09:52] Draus**
There was no repulsive spell... cast on you...
**[09:56] Draus**
You're completely normal...
**[09:59] Draus**
Now, try saying what's inside your heart.
**[10:02] Hinaichi**
Wee-wee.
**[10:05] Hinaichi**
Wee.
**[10:07] Hinaichi**
Wee.
**[10:08] Hinaichi**
Wee-wee.
**[10:10] Draus**
I'm a worm...
**[10:12] Daluc**
Father!
**[10:13] Draus**
It's all wrong, no matter what I do.
I'm the worst. Scum.
**[10:16] Sign**
"Wrong" "Worst" "Scum"
**[10:19] Ronaldo**
A vampire lord's pride is really fragile.
**[10:21] Draluc**
But I can't believe that not
even Father can fix you.
**[10:24] Hinaichi**
If you can't do it, it's fine...
**[10:26] Draus**
No, there's still something I haven't tried!
**[10:28] Hinaichi/Draus**
--Wee!
--I'll treat you while leaving
his hypnosis in place!
**[10:28] Sign**
"Wee!"
**[10:29] Draus**
--I'll treat you while leaving
his hypnosis in place!
**[10:31] Draus**
--I'll overwrite the word you blurt out
with another, better word.
**[10:33] Hinaichi/Draus**
--Nu--
--I'll overwrite the word you blurt out
with another, better word.
**[10:33] Sign**
"Nu--"
**[10:35] Draluc**
Can you really fix the bug in her like that?
**[10:38] Draus**
It'll be hard if the word is too different.
**[10:40] Draus**
I have to choose a word that sounds
like "wee" but is inoffensive.
**[10:44] Hinaichi**
All right, let's write some down!
**[10:44] Sign**
"Weevil"
"Weensy"
"Wee are the state"
**[10:46] Ronaldo**
That looks like a grade schooler's notebook.
**[10:48] Hinaichi**
Yes, I like this one.
**[10:50] Draus**
Here I go. We'll overwrite the
hypnosis with a different word.
**[10:54] Draus**
And then, be surprised.
**[10:56] Hinaichi**
Weekend roast!
**[10:58] Ronaldo**
Oh, it worked!
**[10:59] Hinaichi**
Weekend roast. Weekend roast!
**[11:02] Hinaichi**
You're right! It's been
overwritten, weekend roast!
**[11:04] Draluc**
It's true that it's better than "wee."
**[11:07] Draluc**
It makes you seem like you're
always hungry, though.
**[11:09] Hinaichi**
Weekend roast!
**[11:10] Ronaldo**
If she keeps repeating that,
I'll get hungry, too.
**[11:13] Hinaichi**
I want to eat wee-wee, too.
**[11:15] Daluc/Draus**
You can't!
**[11:16] Hinaichi**
No, what I want to eat is wee-nese--
no, wee-bowl and wee-wee noodles!
**[11:21] Draluc**
Put her back! Put her back
to how she was before!
**[11:25] Hinaichi**
Wee.
**[11:26] Ronaldo**
She's back.
**[11:27] Draluc**
In the end, she just switched
"wee" and "weekend roast."
**[11:32] Draus**
I'm just a drenched bathmat...
**[11:35] Draluc**
Father has melted from the feeling of defeat.
**[11:38] Hinaichi**
Sorry for asking something so difficult.
**[11:40] Draus**
I-It's not difficult! I can do it!
I'll work hard and figure something out...
**[11:45] Draus**
I know!
**[11:46] Draus**
I can use that guy's spell to fix it.
**[11:49] Draus**
You were hypnotized to say lewd things--
**[11:51] Draus**
In other words, you can't help but
say things you think are perverted.
**[11:55] Draus**
In this world, there are things
that don't look erotic at first
**[11:59] Draus**
but there are people who think they are erotic.
**[12:01] Draus**
Some famous examples are
dendrophiliacs and symphorophiliacs.
**[12:06] Ronaldo**
Why do you know so much about them?
**[12:08] Draus**
In other words, you would awaken your fetish
for something other people don't think is erotic
**[12:12] Draus**
and replace the word you blurt out with that.
**[12:15] Hinaichi**
I don't wanna!
**[12:17] Draus**
Well, it'd just be a little bit for
the part related to the aftereffects...
**[12:22] Draus**
If there's anything you can think of
that the world doesn't think is erotic
**[12:24] Draus**
but that you might feel is a
little erotic, let me know.
**[12:28] Ronaldo**
That's totally sexual harassment.
**[12:29] Draus**
No! That's not my intent at all!
**[12:31] Hinaichi**
W-Well... I kind of like how men's hands
are kind of rugged and knobby...
**[12:35] Sign**
"These parts"
"This part"
**[12:37] Ronaldo**
Oh, that's not bad.
**[12:39] Draus**
Don't worry. I'll definitely make this work.
**[12:41] Draus**
If I fail, I'll be a loser, scum,
a disposable chopstick splinter...
**[12:46] Ronaldo**
Why are you triggering your own defeat flag?
**[12:49] Draus**
Take this!
**[12:51] Draus**
Well?
**[12:52] Hinaichi**
Y-Yeah, I feel kind of strange, knob.
**[12:55] Ronaldo**
Oh... well, it's better than "wee."
**[12:57] Draluc**
She sounds like someone from Shimadzu.
**[12:59] Hinaichi**
At this rate, knob,
even if I blurt out knobby wrist,
**[13:03] Hinaichi**
it's not that knobby weird hand rugged fingers!
**[13:05] Ronaldo/Hinaichi**
--No, this isn't good either.
--Knob, knob, knobby hands!
**[13:07] Ronaldo**
You sound like a grotesque homicidal maniac now!
**[13:09] Hinaichi**
Knobby hands!
**[13:10] Ronaldo**
Whoa, you're strong!
**[13:11] Ronaldo**
Ow!
**[13:13] Ronaldo/Hinaichi**
--Ouch!
--Knob...
**[13:14] Draluc/Hinaichi**
--Sand...
--Knob, knob...
**[13:16] Hinaichi**
Wrist wee-wee knob!
**[13:18] Ronaldo**
It's no good!
**[13:20] Draus**
I... am a forgotten pimple
at the back of the chin...
**[13:26] Hinaichi**
Knob, wee-wee, knob...
**[13:27] Draluc**
Thank you, Father. Let's give this up.
**[13:30] Hinaichi/Ronaldo**
--Wee-wee. Knob, knob.
--You did your best.
The Lewd Talk Beam is too strong.
**[13:33] Draus**
No, I've got an idea that could turn the tables!
**[13:37] Draus**
Just make everyone say "wee-wee"!
**[13:40] Draluc**
What're you saying, you letdown?!
**[13:41] Draus**
The mist made from my blood
will create an area of hypnosis
**[13:45] Draus**
where it's made known that "wee-wee"
is a word of power to be proud of!
**[13:50] Draluc**
Stop that! Idiot Father, return to your senses!
**[13:53] Draus**
I will cover Shin-Yokohama with my blood!
**[13:57] Roanldo**
Idiot! What have you done, wee-wee?!
**[14:02] Businessman A**
Sorry, sir, it'll be wee-wee...
**[14:05] Office Lady A**
The weather's kind of wee-wee, huh?
**[14:07] Sign**
"Vamima!!!"
"Rice Ball Festival"
**[14:07] Vamima Manager**
How many wee chopsticks would you like?
**[14:09] Customer**
Two wees.
**[14:10] Maria**
You're really wee-wee today.
**[14:11] Ta Chan**
Praise won't get you anywhere.
**[14:13] Kantaro**
Oh, Tsujita! You're really wee-wee!
**[14:16] Sign**
"Shin-Yokohama Kamone Vision"
"The seal, Wee-Wee,
has strayed into Tsurumi River"
**[14:16] Newscaster**
--The seal, Wee-Wee, was swimming
leisurely in Tsurumi River today, too.
**[14:19] Newscaster/Etiquette Breacher**
--Satetsu, Bro, say "wee-wee."
--The seal, Wee-Wee, was swimming
leisurely in Tsurumi River today, too.
**[14:22] Satetsu**
Wee-wee.
**[14:25] Bunny Girl**
This year's Shin-Yokohama
Buzzword Award goes to...
**[14:30] Sign**
"Shin-Yokohama Buzzword Award"
"wee-wee"
"Can be used for anything" "Nuance is trendy"
**[14:30] Bunny Girl**
..."wee-wee"!
**[14:37] Draus**
Please forgive me...
I don't know what I was doing...
**[14:40] Draluc**
Well, you did *something*.
**[14:43] Hinaichi**
Weekend roast...
**[14:44] Ronaldo**
Oh, it looks like it got a little better.
**[14:47] Sign**
"Oden"
**[14:50] Mr. Lewd Talk**
This drink is delicious!
**[14:50] Sign**
"Award"
"Hinaichi"
"Shin-Yokohama Buzzword Award" "wee-wee"
**[14:55] Sign**
"John, You've Gotten Dog"
**[15:04] Draluc**
John, you want to eat pancakes?
**[15:09] Draluc**
While Ronaldo's out...
**[15:11] Draluc**
Hm? John, you've gotten fat.
**[15:16] Draluc**
John, you're cute even when you're plump,
but it's bad for your health if you get too fat.
**[15:26] Draluc**
I've been trying to make sure you eat right,
but is Ronaldo feeding you other things?
**[15:31] Draluc**
That thoughtless bastard.
**[15:35] Draluc**
In any case, no snacks for you
for a while, okay, John?
**[15:38] Draluc**
Huh?
**[15:41] Draluc**
Wait, John!
**[15:44] Sign**
"Cute Dog Video"
**[15:46] Staff**
Director, the 'madillo's here.
**[15:49] Yomotsuzaka**
Huh?
**[15:49] Sign**
"Nu-nu-nu!" "Nu-nu..."
**[15:53] Yomotsuzaka**
A drug to make you thinner?
There's no such thing.
**[15:56] Yomotsuzaka**
Eat less and exercise.
**[15:58] Yomotsuzaka**
But there *is* a drug to reduce
your caloric intake.
**[16:03] Yomotsuzaka**
Now, drink this, fool.
**[16:08] Yomotsuzaka**
How do you feel?
**[16:10] Yomotsuzaka**
Well, it's not like you can say.
**[16:13] Yomotsuzaka**
It's a special sedative I created myself.
**[16:15] Yomotsuzaka**
You won't resist anything right now.
**[16:19] Yomotsuzaka**
Vampire familiar!
**[16:21] Yomotsuzaka**
That system lets you share
abilities, perception,
**[16:23] Yomotsuzaka**
and even your lifespan with your master!
**[16:25] Yomotsuzaka**
How shall I research you completely...?
**[16:28] Yomotsuzaka**
Guinea pig!
**[16:30] Yomotsuzaka**
Wait there while I make
preparations. Be good now.
**[16:40] Yomotsuzaka**
Huh?
**[16:41] Yomotsuzaka**
Don't tell me watching this video
made you think you're a dog.
**[16:46] Yomotsuzaka**
Wait, what's with that weak mental strength?
**[16:49] Yomotsuzaka**
No, I'll ignore it and do my experiments.
**[16:51] Yomotsuzaka**
He's not a dog. He's just a member
of the Cingulata order...
**[16:56] Yomotsuzaka**
If you can't get it off, then don't
put your head in in the first place.
**[16:59] Yomotsuzaka**
Even if you keep up that dog act,
I'm not going to change my min--
**[17:04] Yomotsuzaka**
No! I didn't throw it to play fetch with you!
**[17:08] Yomotsuzaka**
Don't forget what you came here for!
**[17:12] Yomotsuzaka**
Y-You idiot dog! I mean, armadillo!
**[17:17] Yomotsuzaka**
The VRC's slogan is "Make light of human life."
**[17:20] Yomotsuzaka**
It doesn't matter what I research
outside of that, either.
**[17:25] Yomotsuzaka**
But I can't experiment on dogs!
It reminds me of a dog I had as a pet.
**[17:29] Yomotsuzaka**
I can't make light of dogs.
**[17:33] Yomotsuzaka**
Get back there, now! I know,
let's watch a video of armadillos.
**[17:40] Yomotsuzaka**
What're you scared of, idiot dog?!
**[17:43] Yomotsuzaka**
No, wait--!
**[17:45] Mr. Lewd Talk**
So you're asking if we can fix him?
**[17:49] Yakyuken Lover**
I never thought you'd ask *us* for help, Director.
**[17:50] Sign**
"Vampires who did something bad
and are being detained at the VRC"
**[17:53] Nudenium**
Nun, you think you're a dog?
**[17:56] Yomotsuzaka**
The idiot dog's autosuggestion
seems similar to your hypnosis.
**[18:00] Yomotsuzaka**
Therefore, it's possible that you'll
be able to help with the treatment.
**[18:04] Yomotsuzaka**
Cry for joy and work. Also, I'm not asking.
This is an order. Do you get it, fools?
**[18:09] Yakyuken Lover**
You need to work on your communication skills.
**[18:13] Mr. Lewd Talk**
A dog fetish? Yomotsuzaka, you've a got
a pretty lewd heart, don't you?
**[18:18] Mr. Lewd Talk**
Makes me want to make that
armadillo say "wee-wee"--
**[18:23] Mr. Lewd Talk**
All right. The autosuggestion might
come off with some lewd talk.
**[18:27] Yomotsuzaka**
Hey, never mind.
**[18:30] Yakyuken Lover**
I'm Yakyuken Lover.
**[18:32] Yakyuken Lover**
I love the thrill and eroticism
of stripping and being stripped!
**[18:34] Yomotsuzaka**
Huh? Why are you introducing yourself?
**[18:36] Yomotsuzaka**
Oh, it's the effect of your hypnosis?
**[18:38] Nudenium**
The round pistil peeking out from
between the petals is so bewitching, I--
**[18:45] Yomotsuzaka**
I don't care about your innermost thoughts.
**[18:48] Mr. Lewd Talk**
Dogs don't have the concept
of "lewd talk," do they?
**[18:51] Yomotsuzaka**
Guess not.
**[18:52] Mr. Lewd Talk**
Ah, how boring. I'm going to sleep.
**[18:55] Yomotsuzaka**
He's so useless. I shouldn't have
had even a speck of hope for him.
**[18:58] Yomotsuzaka**
That's enough. You better
get some results, fool.
**[19:01] Yakyuken Lover**
Yeah, leave it to me.
**[19:03] Yakyuken Lover**
Good thing I was caught playing street *yakyuken*.
**[19:07] Yomotsuzaka**
It's not good at all.
You and Lewd Talk get caught too much.
**[19:11] Yakyuken Lover**
Now, what shall I do?
**[19:13] Yakyuken Lover**
It's hard to get rid of autosuggestion.
It'd be bad if I messed up and made it worse.
**[19:18] Yakyuken Lover**
Okay, maybe playing *yakyuken* will get rid of it.
**[19:22] Yakyuken Lover**
*Yoyoinoyoi!*
**[19:23] Yomotsuzaka**
That's enough.
**[19:24] Yakyuken Lover**
Oh, you're so cute! It's a draw!
**[19:27] Yakyuken Lover**
I want to give him a treat.
**[19:29] Yomotsuzaka**
No. I'm the only one who can
give treats to dogs here--
**[19:29] Sign**
"Dog Bones Wasshoi"
**[19:33] Nudenium**
Look, it's one of my seeds.
**[19:35] Yomotsuzaka**
Stop that, fool!
**[19:36] Yomotsuzaka**
Why are you treating seeds
from his crotch like a cure-all?!
**[19:40] Yomotsuzaka**
Come on, idiot dog! Spit it out!
**[19:43] Yomotsuzaka**
I'll experiment on you instead. Do your job!
**[19:46] Yakyuken Lover**
Even if you say that...
**[19:48] Yakyuken Lover**
What if I get my little brother to
come, too? Maybe he can fix him.
**[19:52] Yomotsuzaka**
Little brother?
**[19:53] Yakyuken Lover**
An exhibitionist vampire
who always wears a micro bikini.
**[19:56] Yomotsuzaka**
Don't call him!
**[19:57] Mr. Lewd Talk**
Wait a minute, an exhibitionist?
What kind of lewd talk is that?
**[20:01] Yomotsuzaka**
I'm going home.
**[20:03] Yomotsuzaka**
What a waste of time. They're all useless.
**[20:06] Yomotsuzaka**
I thought I could experiment
on a familiar, but...
**[20:10] Yomotsuzaka**
Hey, idiot dog.
**[20:14] Yomotsuzaka**
If you don't get better... will you be my...?
**[20:20] Staff**
There are trespassers in
the facility! Here's a video!
**[20:24] Draluc**
John! Where are you?!
I'm sure I saw you go in!
**[20:27] Draluc**
Let's go home before the crazy director
starts experimenting on you!
**[20:30] Draluc**
John--!
**[20:32] Sign**
"Vampire to Repel or Capture Trespassers
Cap-*chan*"
**[20:35] Draluc**
What is this thing? Help me, John!
**[20:48] Draluc**
Oh, John!
**[20:55] Draluc**
Wahh, John!
**[20:56] Yomotsuzaka**
Let them go, Cap-*chan*.
**[20:58] Yomotsuzaka**
There's no need to capture them.
**[21:03] Draluc**
I won't let you have John!
You want to experiment on him, don't you?
**[21:06] Yomotsuzaka**
I did, but I've lost interest.
**[21:10] Yomotsuzaka**
Also, an obese pet is the
responsibility of the owner, fool.
**[21:13] Yomotsuzaka**
Make sure he has appropriate food and exercise.
**[21:16] Draluc**
You don't have to tell me that!
**[21:19] Yomotsuzaka**
Hurry up and go home!
**[21:25] Draluc**
Sorry, John, I was inconsiderate.
**[21:29] Draluc**
I'll make some diet pancakes
for you when we get home!
**[21:33] Yomotsuzaka**
Jeez...
**[21:35] Yomotsuzaka**
What a pointless waste of time.
**[21:38] Yomotsuzaka**
You're the only dog for me, Koro.
**[21:44] Ronaldo**
Hey, come out, you damn director!
**[21:50] Draluc**
Ultra-rude dog mask! What in
the world did you do to John?!
**[23:28] Ronaldo**
No matter what happens...
**[23:28] Sign**
"God's divine revelation"
**[23:31] Ronaldo**
...protecting the public...
**[23:31] Sign**
"Or human wisdom"
**[23:34] Ronaldo**
...is what a hunter does.
**[23:35] Draluc**
The vampire dies in no time.
# E8 - Oh! Nude
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GD9UVX050/oh-nude)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:01] Ronaldo**
What, is that a baby Nudenium?
**[00:04] Draluc**
I'd call that a large Nudenium.
**[00:06] Ronaldo**
Damn it! I don't know what's going on,
but I can't leave it alone!
**[00:09] Ronaldo**
Let's go exterminate it!
**[00:10] Draluc**
Okay, I'll leave it to you.
**[00:12] Ronaldo**
Hey! Legendary Draluc Shield!
**[01:46] Draluc**
No...! I don't want to be involved!
**[01:47] Sign**
"Oh! Nude"
**[01:49] Draluc**
Not the butt!
**[01:54] Draluc/Ronaldo**
--Sand! Sand! Sand!
--Everyone, what's the situation?
**[01:56] Batter**
Honestly, I just want to go home and sleep.
**[01:59] Shot**
I can imagine what'll happen next.
**[02:03] Ronaldo**
But this is our job.
**[02:05] Ronaldo**
Anyway, we need to do something
about that giant ass.
**[02:09] Shot**
First, we've got to stop those legs somehow.
**[02:11] Batter**
Right!
**[02:12] Medoki**
I wonder... if this garlic ball will work!
**[02:17] Draluc**
Oh, in an old pond, gathering in a buttcrack,
are men called hunters.
**[02:20] Ronaldo**
Shut up, damn sandpile!
**[02:22] Draluc**
Sand!
**[02:26] Ronaldo**
Oh, it stopped!
**[02:30] Large Nudenium**
Nude!
**[02:32] Ronaldo**
The butt got bigger!
**[02:33] Draluc**
It's probably the butt's
self-preservation instinct.
**[02:36] Ronaldo**
What are you talking about?!
**[02:37] Maria**
This is bad. Will it get bigger if we hit it?
**[02:40] Ta Chan**
Can't attack. This is hard.
**[02:46] Shoka**
My high-pressure water current
might be able to stop it.
**[02:50] Medoki**
Why are you giving water to a plant?!
**[02:55] Ronaldo/Large Nudenium**
--It's gotten even bigger!
--Nude!
**[02:58] Shot**
It's coming!
**[02:59] Draluc**
It's a seed machine gun!
**[03:01] Shot**
I have a feeling something bad
will happen if we get hit!
**[03:03] Ronaldo**
Turn into a Lord Dral Barrier!
**[03:05] Draluc**
No!
**[03:07] Ta Chan**
Shot!
**[03:08] Shot**
This always happens to me...
**[03:11] Ronaldo**
Shot's blooming!
**[03:13] Draluc**
He looks like a succulent plant pot.
**[03:17] Ta Chan**
What's the matter, sea anemone?
**[03:18] Draluc**
Oh, no. This flower's sucking his blood.
**[03:22] Nudenium**
Stay calm! Swallow this.
**[03:24] Roanldo**
Nudenium!
**[03:31] Nudenium**
Humans. You'll be fine now.
**[03:34] Nudenium**
Come, if you take my seeds,
baby Nudenium's seeds won't work on you.
**[03:38] Nudenium**
The rest of you take them, too!
**[03:39] Ronaldo**
Thanks.
**[03:40] Ronaldo**
Like anyone'd take these!
**[03:42] Large Nudenium**
Nude!
**[03:45] Nudenium**
Apologies for the damage one of mine is doing.
**[03:49] Ronaldo**
What in the world happened?
**[03:51] Nudenium**
I don't know.
**[03:52] Nudenium**
A baby Nudenium that drank a supplement
the director gave me suddenly grew big...
**[03:57] Ronaldo**
It's all that crazy psycho idiot
bastard's fault again!
**[04:01] Nudenium**
Please. Will you carry me
to baby Nudenium's side?
**[04:05] Ronaldo**
Carry? How?
**[04:06] Draluc**
I'd probably die just looking up.
**[04:09] Batter**
What if I blow you away like a catapult?
**[04:11] Nudenium**
Yes, please do that!
**[04:13] Batter**
Okay, brace yourself!
**[04:16] Batter**
Home Run Full Swing!
**[04:18] Nudenium**
I'm on my way!
**[04:23] Ronaldo**
Hey, that's no good!
**[04:24] Large Nudenium**
Nude!
**[04:27] Draluc**
A butt's gonna destroy Shin-Yoko!
**[04:32] Maria**
Calm down!
**[04:33] Maria**
If it's a vampire, then there's
definitely a way to exterminate it!
**[04:36] Ronaldo/Draluc/Shot/Satetsu**
Maria!
**[04:37] Draluc**
Sand!
**[04:39] Shot**
Did you swallow the seed?!
**[04:41] Maria**
It keeps you from getting caught
by the big guy's seed attack, right?
**[04:44] Ronaldo**
You've got guts, but please be good to yourself!
**[04:49] Yomotsuzaka**
Foolish bastards, you look like
you're all having a hard time.
**[04:53] Ronaldo/Yomotsuzaka**
--Whose fault do you think that is?!
--Stop!
**[04:56] Yomotsuzaka**
I've brought a drug to neutralize that vampire.
**[05:01] Ronaldo**
Shut up! You caused this!
**[05:02] Ta Chan**
When this is over, I'll beat you up! Just wait!
**[05:04] Satetsu**
Now, now.
**[05:05] Yomotsuzaka**
Hmph. Just get this close and stick it in.
**[05:09] Yomotsuzaka**
Get it, fools?
**[05:10] Medoki**
It's hard to get close to that!
**[05:13] Shot**
Damn it, I guess I have to go.
**[05:16] Maria**
I can go, too!
**[05:17] Satetsu**
Wait. If you're hit by a seed,
that'll cause damage in and of itself.
**[05:21] Yomotsuzaka**
There's only one dose of this drug.
**[05:24] Yomotsuzaka**
Make sure you get it right
the first time, fools.
**[05:26] Yomotsuzaka**
Huh?
**[05:27] Ronaldo**
Protecting the public no matter
what happens is what hunters do!
**[05:32] Ronaldo**
Shot! Maria! I've learned from you two.
**[05:37] Shot**
Wait, Ronaldo!
**[05:43] Shot**
Putting his life on the line
to protect the town!
**[05:46] Satetsu**
Ronaldo, look out!
**[05:49] Maria**
Wow! He's dodging the storm of seeds!
**[05:54] Shot**
You can do it! You can get close!
**[05:57] Shoka**
Wait... if he could dodge them,
then what's the point in being nude?
**[06:13] Ronaldo**
Did it work?
**[06:16] Large Nudenium**
Nude...
**[06:20] Shot**
Can it still move?
**[06:22] Nudenium**
Baby Nudenium!
**[06:24] Shot**
Nudenium! When did you get there?!
**[06:26] Large Nudenium**
Nude...
**[06:28] Ronaldo**
Look out!
**[06:29] Ronaldo**
Run, Nudenium!
**[06:32] Nudenium**
It's okay. Calm down.
**[06:35] Nudenium**
You're safe now that I'm here.
**[06:38] Large Nudenium**
Nude...
**[06:42] Ronaldo**
Nudenium!
**[06:49] Nudenium**
Sorry to cause you all trouble.
**[06:52] Ronaldo**
Oh, good. Are you okay?!
**[06:54] Nudenium**
--Yes. The baby Nudenium also seems
refreshed after shedding all that.
**[06:55] Large Nudenium/Nudenium**
--Nude, nude, nude, nude!
--Yes. The baby Nudenium also seems
refreshed after shedding all that.
**[06:59] Nudenium**
Hunters! You all have good flower poses.
**[07:03] Ronaldo**
Idiot! We'll be able to go
back to normal, right?
**[07:06] Maria**
Well, I'm just glad everything seems fine.
**[07:11] Yomotsuzaka**
Anyway, this case looks like it's closed.
**[07:16] Yomotsuzaka**
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow...
Wait! Listen, you fools!
**[07:20] Yomotsuzaka**
We won this time thanks to me...
**[07:23] Yomotsuzaka**
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow...
**[07:25] Yomotsuzaka**
This might have a bad effect
on my brain-- Ow, ow! Stop!
**[07:30] Yomotsuzaka**
Help me, Satetsu!
**[07:31] Sign**
"Maybe that enough already?"
**[07:36] Sign**
"Handa's Dadandandan Da-Talk"
**[07:36] Handa**
My name is Tou Handa.
**[07:38] Handa**
I'm a dhampir who's a part of Vamp Control.
**[07:40] Handa**
And this is my mother,
the best mother in the world.
**[07:45] Handa**
My mother recently started
attending a knitting class.
**[07:49] Handa**
It seems like she's having fun. I'm glad.
**[07:52] Akemi**
I made a friend in class.
**[07:55] Akemi**
I'm meeting up with my friend tonight
to learn more about knitting!
**[07:59] Handa**
That's great, Mom. What's your friend like?
**[08:03] Akemi**
He's a man older than me.
**[08:05] Handa**
What?
**[08:06] Akemi**
He's very good at knitting.
**[08:09] Handa**
Can I go with you tonight?
I'm interested in knitting, too.
**[08:13] Akemi**
Oh, really? You were in the arts
and crafts club, weren't you?
**[08:17] Akemi**
--I'll ask him.
**[08:18] Akemi/Handa**
--That man might be a scoundrel
who's after my mother.
--I'll ask him.
**[08:20] Handa**
--That man might be a scoundrel
who's after my mother.
**[08:23] Handa**
I must protect my mother.
**[08:27] Akemi**
Oh, Mr. Yuzawa? Hello!
**[08:31] Mr. Lewd Talk**
Good evening, Mrs. Handa.
**[08:33] Handa**
You bastard!
**[08:36] Handa**
This man is the vampire, Mr. Lewd Talk!
**[08:39] Handa**
He hypnotizes people so they
can only say lewd things,
**[08:42] Handa**
and he's a dirty bastard who is notorious
even at the Vampire Control Division!
**[08:46] Handa**
What're you planning to do getting close
to my mother, you vulgar man?!
**[08:51] Akemi**
Momo, this is Mr. Yuzawa.
**[08:53] Mr. Lewd Talk**
Nice to meet you, Tou.
**[08:55] Handa**
Get away from him, Mom!
He's a perverted old man!
**[08:59] Akemi**
Momo?
**[09:00] Mr. Lewd Talk**
Oh, dear. Does this old body
look so spirited to you?
**[09:04] Handa**
You bastard!
**[09:06] Akemi**
Do you know Mr. Yuzawa?
**[09:08] Handa**
This guy--
**[09:10] Handa**
No, that...
**[09:12] Mr. Lewd Talk**
Are you nervous?
Come, let's go inside the cafe.
**[09:18] Handa**
Damn it, if this man tries anything on
my mother, I'll kill him immediately!
**[09:24] Mr. Lewd Talk**
Go ahead and take a seat, Mrs. Handa.
**[09:26] Handa**
Be careful, Mom! Something obscene
might be hidden in the chair!
**[09:31] Mr. Lewd Talk**
One roll cake set--
**[09:33] Handa**
What do you mean, "roll cake"?!
Is that a metaphor for penis, you pervert?!
**[09:36] Mr. Lewd Talk**
Did you bring you knitting needles today?
**[09:39] Handa**
Why are you talking about needles?!
This guy's completely guilty, Mom!
**[09:44] Handa**
No, Mom!
**[09:46] Akemi**
Momo, what's wrong?
**[09:48] Handa**
I... uh...
**[09:51] Mr. Lewd Talk**
Don't worry about it.
**[09:53] Mr. Lewd Talk**
Maybe he's worried since we
seem to get along so well.
**[09:57] Akemi**
I'm sorry, Mr. Yuzawa.
**[10:00] Akemi**
Momo?
**[10:01] Handa**
The damn weasel. What is he planning?!
**[10:05] Handa**
Bastard... I need to get him away
from my mother without shocking her...
**[10:11] Sagyo**
Maybe I'll buy some unusual food
for you this time, Burdy.
**[10:17] Handa**
Oh, I suddenly really want to buy a guppy!
**[10:21] Akemi**
Momo?
**[10:23] Sagyo**
Handa? What do you want out of the blue?!
**[10:26] Handa**
I'm hunting a perverted old man!
**[10:27] Sagyo**
What?
**[10:29] Akemi**
About that knitting method
you taught me the other day...
**[10:32] Sagyo**
Is that Mr. Lewd Talk?
**[10:33] Handa**
Go separate him from my mother in a natural way
**[10:37] Handa**
and kill him and feed him
to an ostrich or something.
**[10:39] Sagyo**
That's scary!
**[10:40] Sagyo**
But I do worry about what he's planning.
I'll try just questioning him for now.
**[10:47] Sagyo**
Excuse me.
**[10:49] Sagyo**
Do you have a moment?
**[10:50] Akemi**
Oh, are you from the Vampire Control Division?
**[10:53] Sagyo**
Yes.
**[10:58] Sagyo**
I want to be sandwiched between ripe breasts.
**[11:01] Handa**
Sagyo...!
**[11:03] Akemi**
Huh? Momo?
**[11:06] Handa**
You idiot! You were totally
caught in his hypnosis!
**[11:10] Sagyo**
N-No! I've just always liked
soft and bouncy things!
**[11:14] Handa**
Shut up! Don't you go
near my mother, either!
**[11:17] Handa**
Damn it! It's easy to catch him,
**[11:20] Handa**
but Mom will be sad if she finds out
her friend is a pervert.
**[11:23] Sagyo**
Yes. I also love sexy older women...
**[11:28] Sagyo**
Um, if you're going to get into bondage,
I think you should start tight--
**[11:31] Handa**
Write it down!
**[11:33] Sign**
"A childhood friend (older) who looks
proper but is actually perverted"
**[11:34] Handa**
Forget it. Next plan!
**[11:37] Handa**
You hide somewhere and wait.
**[11:39] Handa**
Once I get back to my seat,
I'll distract my mother.
**[11:43] Handa**
While she's distracted,
you tackle the old man and beat him up!
**[11:46] Sagyo**
Hot pot with girls going commando!
**[11:48] Handa**
Okay, that's enough!
**[11:52] Akemi**
Oh, Momo, earlier--
**[11:54] Handa**
Oh, an out of season butterfly!
**[11:56] Akemi**
Huh?
**[11:57] Handa**
Now, Sagyo!
**[11:58] Sagyo**
No, even if you signal me now...
**[12:01] Middle-Aged Woman A**
Oh, dear, what are you doing here?
**[12:05] Sagyo**
I love older women with big breasts!
**[12:07] Middle-Aged Woman A**
Oh, my, this boy's so passionate!
**[12:09] Middle-Aged Woman B**
Very well!
**[12:10] Middle-Aged Woman C**
We'll teach you what true love is!
**[12:15] Handa**
Sagyo, you idiot!
**[12:17] Mr. Lewd Talk**
Now, how about I teach you
a bit about knitting?
**[12:25] Handa**
I can't let this go on any longer!
I need to prioritize eliminating him!
**[12:28] Handa**
Mom, get away from him!
**[12:30] Handa**
This man is...
**[12:33] Handa**
Shoot!
**[12:35] Akemi**
Momo?
**[12:38] Mr. Lewd Talk**
A beautiful married woman's lewd talk seems fun,
**[12:41] Mr. Lewd Talk**
but the lewd talk her beloved son could spew
in front of his mom sounds even more fun!
**[12:49] Mr. Lewd Talk**
What's wrong, Tou?
Does something about me bother you?
**[12:53] Akemi**
Wh-What's the matter, Momo?
**[12:55] Mr. Lewd Talk**
Look, your mother's worried, too.
What happened?
**[13:00] Mr. Lewd Talk**
Please explain. What did you
want to say about me?
**[13:04] Mr. Lewd Talk**
Don't hold back if you have something to say.
**[13:06] Mr. Lewd Talk**
Not saying anything now will
just create a misunderstanding.
**[13:11] Mr. Lewd Talk**
Try saying it, Tou. Hurry!
Say what's in your heart--
**[13:18] Akemi**
I don't know what you did,
but don't bully Tou!
**[13:29] Mr. Lewd Talk**
You win! Oh, the love between parent and child.
**[13:32] Mr. Lewd Talk**
I can't win against love.
It's my loss this time.
**[13:36] Mr. Lewd Talk**
Tou, I'll leave quietly.
**[13:40] Mr. Lewd Talk**
You have a wonderful mother.
Take good care of her.
**[13:46] Handa**
Even I...
**[13:51] Handa**
Even I want to be hugged close
to Mom's chest some...
**[13:57] Handa**
...times...
**[13:59] Mr. Lewd Talk**
Oh?
**[14:06] Sign**
"Momo"
**[14:07] Akemi**
Momo?
**[14:11] Sign**
"Will the Moon Rise Again over Shin-Yoko?"
**[14:12] Mikazuki**
How...
**[14:13] Sign**
"Will the Moon Rise Again over Shin-Yoko?"
"The War Chronicles of Ronaldo"
**[14:13] Mikazuki**
How strong and cool is he!
**[14:15] Sign**
"The War Chronicles of Ronaldo"
**[14:16] Mikazuki**
Amazing! He's really an amazing hunter!
**[14:21] Mikazuki**
I need to see him again! I need to see Ronaldo!
**[14:25] Sign**
"Everyone welcome"
"Ronaldo Vampire Hunter Agency"
**[14:26] Mikazuki**
Please!
**[14:28] Mikazuki**
Please make me your sidekick...
**[14:30] Mikazuki**
No, your assistant...
No, your apprentice!
**[14:34] Ronaldo**
R-Right... But I'm not really so great
as to take on apprentices...
**[14:40] Mikazuki**
Please! I'll do anything!
**[14:42] Draluc**
Oh, what wonderful youth and passion
to be so moved by *The Ronaldo Chronicles*
**[14:46] Draluc**
that you'd come back to Shin-Yoko!
**[14:48] Draluc**
It's like reading *Don't Abuse Psychology*
and wanting to become a psychologist.
**[14:52] Ronaldo**
Shut up!
**[14:54] Mikazuki**
Please! I want to learn
your techniques up close!
**[14:58] Draluc**
*The Ronaldo Chronicles* really strike a chord
with the adolescent heart, huh?
**[15:00] Draluc**
You'll want to hide this dark past later.
**[15:02] Ronaldo**
I'll kill you, damn sandpile!
**[15:04] Ronaldo**
But it's not like I can act like a teacher...
**[15:08] Draluc**
Well, you *are* a gorilla who exterminates
with the power of your arms and muscles.
**[15:14] Mikazuki**
Then, I'll show you I can be
more useful than that guy,
**[15:16] Mikazuki**
so let me stay here instead of him!
**[15:18] Ronaldo**
Oh, that's a good idea!
**[15:19] Draluc**
What're you saying, Big Forehead Four-Eyes?!
**[15:22] Mikazuki**
Then, what can *you* do for Ronaldo?!
**[15:25] Draluc**
I do a lot of stuff!
I stuck a lot of burrs onto Ronaldo's coat!
**[15:29] Ronaldo**
Was that you?! You damn bastard!
**[15:32] Draluc**
Sand!
**[15:34] Draluc**
Think about this calmly, Ronaldo.
**[15:36] Ronaldo**
Huh?!
**[15:37] Draluc**
This office is basically
already 90% Castle Draluc.
**[15:41] Draluc**
In the first place, all your success
and fame are thanks to me.
**[15:46] Draluc**
If you're going to bow to me--
**[15:53] Draluc**
That little pipsqueak and Ronaldo the Panic King
**[15:56] Draluc**
are sure to become a pair
of walking train wrecks.
**[15:59] Draluc**
If you come crying to my greatness
later, it'll be too Late-aldo--
**[16:03] Mikazuki**
Ronaldo, please leave sensing vampires to me.
**[16:07] Mikazuki**
I'm a dhampir, you know.
**[16:09] Mikazuki**
And I organized your schedule for today.
**[16:13] Ronaldo**
Sorry to make you do all
the boring stuff. And thanks.
**[16:16] Ronaldo**
Not only is that idiot useless,
**[16:19] Ronaldo**
but he gets in the way no matter
what I ask him to do.
**[16:21] Ronaldo**
It's like all pain, no gain with him--
**[16:23] Ronaldo**
Huh? Why haven't I kicked
the freeloader out yet?
**[16:27] Ronaldo**
This is seriously a great
chance to get rid of him!
**[16:31] Draluc**
Sand!
**[16:32] Draluc**
At this rate, my agency will be taken
by that Big Forehead Four-Eyes!
**[16:36] Draluc**
I won't allow it! That place is John
and my New Castle Draluc!
**[16:36] Sign**
"Castle Draluc"
**[16:42] Draluc**
And so, I've callled all my
dependable compatriots!
**[16:46] Draluc**
First off, Big Forehead Four-- Sand!
**[16:49] Draluc**
Poke that Big Forehead Four-Eyes around
and make him go back to Tokyo.
**[16:54] Nudenium**
It's not good to gang up on a young
person working hard, you know.
**[16:59] Draluc**
Please stop with the sound
arguments that make sense.
**[17:02] Draluc**
Anyway, I'm not telling you guys to beat him up.
**[17:05] Draluc**
I just want you to teach him more
about how harsh Shin-Yoko is...
**[17:09] Draluc**
Hey, are you listening?
**[17:10] Draluc**
Huh? Where'd Kiss go?
**[17:13] Passionate Kiss**
Handsome, handsome, man, man!
**[17:14] Draluc**
You idiot!
**[17:16] Ronaldo**
Stop that, hotdog!
**[17:18] Ronaldo**
Don't touch Mikazuki!
**[17:20] Passionate Kiss**
Oh, another handsome man!
**[17:22] Passionate Kiss**
I'll take you on one at a time,
so don't fight over me, Handsomes.
**[17:26] Passionate Kiss**
Here, take a number.
**[17:28] Ronaldo**
No thanks! I'll kill you!
**[17:29] Mikazuki**
Please let me handle this.
**[17:32] Passionate Kiss**
Welcome, Handsome!
**[17:34] Mikazuki**
The key to beating you is to make myself
what you wouldn't consider "handsome."
**[17:39] Mikazuki**
A hunter... doesn't care about appearances!
**[17:42] Sign**
"Sandwich"
**[17:44] Passionate Kiss**
What?! A lame T-shirt?!
**[17:46] Mikazuki**
And I've changed my glasses to an old pair!
**[17:49] Pasionate Kiss**
Y-You're...
**[17:51] Mikazuki**
Well, vampire? Now I'm not handsome anymore!
**[17:55] Ronaldo**
Wait, that T-shirt's lame?
**[17:57] Mikazuki**
Ronaldo?!
**[17:58] Passionate Kiss**
You're like a refined younger man
who lives in the apartment next door.
**[18:03] Passionate Kiss**
You adore me and call me "Sis,"
**[18:05] Passionate Kiss**
and secretly burn with
passionate feelings for me!
**[18:09] Passionate Kiss**
All right! You wanna marry me?!
**[18:14] Mikazuki**
Oh, it worked!
**[18:16] Mikazuki**
It worked, Ronaldo!
**[18:18] Ronaldo**
Good job, Mikazuki!
**[18:20] Ronaldo**
Also, I don't think that T-shirt's lame...
**[18:23] Draluc**
Bastard! Their bond is even stronger now...
**[18:27] Etiquette Breacher**
I, the great vampire, Etiquette Breacher,
will show you what I can do!
**[18:32] Draluc**
Oh, you're so dependable, Etiquette!
**[18:34] Etiquette Breacher**
At least, I'll pretend to...
and then I'll run away!
**[18:39] Draluc**
You're useless!
**[18:41] Draluc**
Please, Nudenium!
**[18:45] Nudenium**
Young hunter.
**[18:47] Baby Nudeniums/Nudenium**
--Nude, nude, nude, nude...
--I'll make you a present of these
fresh baby Nudeniums.
**[18:54] Mikazuki**
Wait... Don't be flustered
by a strange vampire.
**[18:57] Baby Nudeniums/Mikazuki**
--Nude, nude, nude, nude...
--Think. What would Ronaldo do?
**[19:01] Mikazuki**
That's right!
**[19:02] Mikazuki**
No matter who you're up against,
think calmly about your opponent.
**[19:05] Baby Nudeniums**
Nude, nude, nude, nude...
**[19:09] Ronaldo**
Mikazuki!
**[19:11] Mikazuki**
A hunter... um...
finds patience like this... uh...
**[19:17] Ronaldo**
Mikazuki!
**[19:19] Ronaldo**
Jeez, what were you trying to do, Nudenium?
**[19:23] Nudenium**
My compatriot recommended that
I try planting more greenery--
**[19:27] Ronaldo**
Just you try something on Mikazuki again!
**[19:29] Draluc**
Too bad. It's too late.
**[19:30] Sign**
"Calling"
**[19:35] Micro Bikini**
Kneel before me, humans. It's me.
**[19:38] Ronaldo**
You again, exhibitionist?!
**[19:41] Micro Bikini**
It's annoying to do what
the Progenitor's grandson says,
**[19:44] Micro Bikini**
but it'll be fun to put you foolish
hunters into bikinis again.
**[19:48] Ronaldo**
Mikazuki, I'll punch this guy and--
**[19:51] Mikazuki**
No, please let me fight him!
**[19:54] Mikazuki**
I will definitely defeat him!
**[19:57] Micro Bikini**
That's funny! What can a kid like you do?
**[20:01] Mikazuki**
Can you still say that... after seeing *this*?!
**[20:04] Micro Bikini**
Y-You're already wearing a bikini?!
**[20:07] Micro Bikini**
And it's a hot pink lamé one!
**[20:11] Mikazuki**
I've never forgotten the disgrace
I suffered at your hands.
**[20:14] Mikazuki**
I came up with this after
thinking hard about it.
**[20:18] Mikazuki**
To defeat you by putting on a bikini
under my clothes in advance.
**[20:22] Ronaldo**
Th-Then, you were wearing a bikini
on the train to Shin-Yoko, too?
**[20:27] Mikazuki**
A hunter is someone who can overcome shyness!
**[20:31] Ronaldo**
You're not wrong.
**[20:33] Draluc**
Aren't your priorities backwards there?!
**[20:35] Draluc**
Hey, Bikini!
**[20:37] Micro Bikini**
I'm done here.
**[20:39] Micro Bkini**
I respect those who wear bikinis
stylishly on their own.
**[20:44] Micro Bikini**
Young hunter.
**[20:45] Micro Bikini**
It looks like that day, when I made you
wear a bikini, I set you on your path.
**[20:51] Micro Bikini**
I'm proud--
**[20:57] Ronaldo**
You've gotten better, Mikazuki.
Congratulations.
**[21:01] Ronaldo**
You're good enough a hunter
to work in Shin-Yoko now!
**[21:04] Mikazuki**
Ronaldo!
**[21:07] Ronaldo**
Listen, Mikazuki.
**[21:09] Ronaldo**
The vampires of Shin-Yoko
are all tough and tricky.
**[21:14] Ronaldo**
There are times when you need to sacrifice
yourself in order to exterminate them.
**[21:18] Ronaldo**
There are a lot of times when you can't
be cool like in *The Ronaldo Chronicles*.
**[21:22] Ronaldo**
Actually, you usually can't be cool.
**[21:26] Ronaldo**
*The Ronaldo Chronicles* is made up of
those cool times that I scraped together
**[21:30] Ronaldo**
where "it's not like I'm lying"...
**[21:34] Ronaldo**
In this environment, it's kind of
impossible to become a cool hunter...
**[21:39] Ronaldo**
Even so, if you want to be a hunter like me...
I'll teach you everything I can!
**[21:47] Ronaldo**
I look forward to working with you, Mikazuki!
**[21:49] Mikazuki**
I'm going home!
**[21:53] Ronaldo**
Mikazuki!
**[23:28] Vamima Manager**
Please help, Ronaldo! It's my son,
Bubuo! He won't wake up!
**[23:29] Sign**
"Dream"
**[23:32] Sign**
"Illusion"
**[23:35] Draluc**
The vampire dies in no time.
# E9 - Utopia BBOLAND
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GQJUG28KX/utopia-bboland)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:01] Ronaldo**
Man, I wonder if I'll get a client today.
**[00:03] Ronaldo**
♬ Eye-beam, eye-beam thingy ♬
**[00:05] Ronaldo**
♬ Eye-beam, eye-beam thingy ♬
**[00:07] Ronaldo**
♬ Eye-- ♬
**[00:09] Ronaldo**
Hey, Manager! What do you need from
the Ronaldo Vampire Hunter Agency?
**[00:13] Vamima Manager**
Please help, Ronaldo!
**[00:15] Vamima Manager**
It's my son, Bubuo! He won't wake up!
**[01:50] Sign**
"Utopia BBOLAND"
**[01:51] Draluc**
This isn't because he didn't
sleep last night or something?
**[01:53] Vamima Manager**
He's been like this since yesterday.
Besides, look at this! Here!
**[01:57] Ronaldo**
Whoa, what the hell? Gross!
**[01:59] Ronaldo**
It's probably an inferior vampire, but--
**[02:01] Draluc**
It's a dream sucker!
I haven't seen one in a while.
**[02:03] Ronaldo**
You know what this is, Lord Dral?
**[02:05] Draluc**
It's an inferior vampire that
puts humans into comas
**[02:07] Draluc**
and makes them dream,
sucking their blood during that time.
**[02:10] Draluc**
Because people have been sleeping less recently,
they were on the verge of going extinct.
**[02:16] Draluc**
I didn't think I'd be able to see one
this big. It must be really old.
**[02:20] Vamima Manager**
Don't talk about them like they're fireflies
coming back to the river.
**[02:24] Ronaldo**
If we smoosh this, will he wake up?
**[02:26] Draluc**
Don't do that! Think about using chopsticks
to pick it up or something, you monkey!
**[02:31] Draluc**
You shouldn't take it off.
**[02:32] Draluc**
If you force it off, it could
cause damage to his mind.
**[02:36] Ronaldo**
Then what're we supposed to do?
**[02:37] Draluc**
His dreams can also affect
the humans around him.
**[02:41] Draluc**
This means that if you sleep near him,
you can intervene with his dreams.
**[02:45] Ronaldo**
So you're saying we should go
into Bubuo's dream--
**[02:47] Draluc**
And wake him up from inside it!
**[02:49] Ronaldo**
Okay, then let's do this!
**[02:52] Ronaldo**
We'll sleep near him!
**[02:53] Draluc**
I don't like how it's like he's a kid
sleeping between parents.
**[02:55] Vamima Manager**
Please take care of my son!
**[02:57] Ronaldo**
Leave it to us.
**[03:01] Vamima Manager**
♬ Oh, good night, baby ♬
**[03:04] Vamima Manager**
--♬ Sing a song, Moon... ♬
**[03:05] Ronaldo/Vamima Manager**
--Excuse me, can you please stop singing?
--♬ Sing a song, Moon... ♬
**[03:13] Ronaldo**
What?! Vamima?
**[03:15] Draluc**
No, we're already inside Bubuo's dream.
It must be a reflection of what he imagines.
**[03:21] Draluc**
In order to keep their hosts from waking up,
**[03:23] Draluc**
dream suckers have them
dream their ideal dreams.
**[03:26] Ronaldo**
Then this is the guy's ideal world?
**[03:28] Door Chime**
Door.
**[03:31] Ronaldo**
This ideal world is too sketchy!
**[03:33] Draluc**
It looks like he doesn't really remember
what the streets look like.
**[03:36] Draluc**
Oh, it's the Hunters Guild!
**[03:36] Sign**
"Guild"
**[03:38] Ronaldo**
That looks messy, too.
**[03:41] Ronaldo**
There are thumbtacks and mushrooms inside.
**[03:43] Draluc**
You mean tables and chairs.
**[03:45] Maria (dream)**
Welcome to the Hunters Guild!
**[03:47] Ta Chan (dream)**
Bubuo is so cool!
**[03:49] Ronaldo**
But he's got lots of details for the girls!
**[03:51] Ronaldo**
Just how much does he look at them?!
**[03:53] Draluc**
You're one to talk!
**[03:55] Draluc**
You can tell that he doesn't
look at the guys at all.
**[03:58] Ronaldo**
Shot looks like an eraser.
**[04:00] Shot (dream)**
Bubuo is so cool.
**[04:02] Satetsu (dream)**
Bubuo is so cool.
**[04:03] Ronaldo**
What is this? Satetsu?!
**[04:04] Draluc**
It'd be better if he remembered nothing at all!
**[04:07] Ronaldo**
This is too much. He looks like something
growing on a rock at the beach!
**[04:10] Ronaldo (dream)**
Bubuo is so cool.
**[04:12] Ronaldo**
Hey, what the hell? That's not funny!
Don't laugh! I'll kill you!
**[04:16] Draluc**
Sand!
**[04:18] Draluc (dream)**
Bubuo is so cool.
**[04:21] Draluc**
What's with this talking vomit?!
**[04:22] Ronaldo**
It's actually pretty correct.
**[04:26] John (dream)**
N...
**[04:28] Ronaldo**
John looks like a wee-wee!
**[04:31] Girl/Girl 2**
--Prince Bubuo!
--Look this way!
**[04:34] Girl 3**
You're amazing, Prince Bubuo!
**[04:35] Girl 4**
I love you, Prince Bubuo!
**[04:37] Ronaldo/Draluc**
Bubuo!
**[04:40] Ronaldo**
That idiot's enjoying himself!
**[04:41] Ronaldo**
That elephant has sketchy details, too!
**[04:44] Bubuo**
Ronaldo?!
**[04:45] Bubuo**
Hm? Wait...
**[04:47] Ronaldo**
Come back to your senses.
We're here to save you!
**[04:49] Ronaldo**
A vampire's making you dream right now.
**[04:53] Bubuo**
Dream...?
**[04:54] Bubuo**
I thought it was weird that I could
make anything I wanted appear.
**[04:57] Ronaldo**
You should've noticed when
things started appearing!
**[04:58] Bubuo**
I see. So this was a dream.
**[05:02] Ronaldo**
Wake up! Let's get out of here.
**[05:05] Bubuo/Ronaldo**
--No!
--Idiot!
**[05:07] Bubuo**
I don't care if it's a dream!
I wanna stay here and flirt with the girls!
**[05:11] Ronaldo**
Are you stupid?!
Your real body will die!
**[05:14] Draluc**
What about food and going to the bathroom?!
**[05:16] Bubuo**
I'll soil myself!
**[05:17] Ronaldo**
Idiot!
**[05:19] Ronaldo**
I've got no choice.
I'll knock him out and wake him up!
**[05:21] Bubuo**
Moron.
**[05:23] Bubuo**
I'm unbeatable in my own dream.
I can make anything appear!
**[05:27] Bubuo**
Come, Noble Scarlet Crimson-Winged Red Dragon!
**[05:32] Ronaldo**
What's that?
**[05:33] Draluc**
All I know is that it's red.
**[05:36] Red Dragon**
Ryoar.
**[05:37] Draluc**
That's too sketchy!
**[05:38] Ronaldo**
What's that "ryoar" supposed to be?!
**[05:39] John**
Nuoar!
**[05:41] Red Dragon**
--Ryoar.
**[05:42] Draluc/Red Dragon**
--Ronaldo!
--Ryoar.
**[05:45] Ronaldo**
It's sketchy, but strong!
**[05:46] Draluc**
I see. It's because this world is influenced
by what Bubuo can imagine!
**[05:50] Ronaldo (dream)**
Bubuo is so cool. Bubuo is so cool.
**[05:53] Ronaldo**
The sketchy me's so strong!
**[05:56] Ronaldo**
The wee-wee's like a meteor!
**[05:58] Draluc (dream)**
Bubuo is--
**[06:00] Draluc**
Why am I the only weak one?!
**[06:03] Bubuo**
This dream world's fun!
**[06:06] Ronaldo**
You scum!
**[06:09] Ronaldo**
Damn it, if his imagination rules here,
then there's nothing we can--
**[06:16] Bubuo**
Here's the finishing touch.
**[06:17] Bubuo**
I'll kick you guys out
with a super-cool illusion!
**[06:21] Bubuo**
Come, my strongest female warrior!
**[06:24] Bubuo**
The glamorous, flaxen-haired,
shiny bosomed, cute, big-boobed, sexy--
**[06:31] Draluc**
Manager.
**[06:34] Bubuo**
What the hell did you make me create?!
Damn it! One more time!
**[06:38] Draluc**
No, it's too late now!
**[06:40] Bubuo**
Damn it. Forget about the old man.
**[06:43] Draluc/Bubuo**
--Why? Because the more humans
don't want to imagine something...
--Cute... big-boobed...
**[06:47] Draluc**
...the harder it is to get out of their heads!
**[06:52] Vamima Manager (Girl 2)**
What's the matter, Bubuo?
**[06:53] Vamima Manager (Girl 1)**
Are you all right, Bubuo?
**[06:55] Vamima Managers**
--Bubuo!
--Bubuo!
--Bubuo!
**[06:57] Sign**
"Buy anything at Vamima"
**[07:04] Vamima Manager**
Bubuo!
**[07:06] Vamima Manager**
Oh, good! You're awake!
Do you know who I am? It's me, your dad!
**[07:09] Vamima Manager**
Bubuo, Bubuo, Bubuo, Bubuo!
**[07:15] Bubuo**
Stop! You'll give me nightmares!
**[07:19] Sign**
"Dad and the Suspicious Person"
**[07:20] Yakyuken Lover**
Hey, how're you doing?
I'm everyone's idol, Yakyken Lover.
**[07:24] Yakyuken Lover**
I thought I was here for some one-time laughs,
but now I'm a recurring character.
**[07:27] Yakyuken Lover**
It won't be long before I get a spinoff movie.
I'm Yakyuken Lover, a nice guy.
**[07:32] Yakyuken Lover**
Nice to meetcha.
**[07:34] Yakyuken Lover**
But even I've recently got problems.
**[07:37] Yakyuken Lover**
That is, recently, maybe I've
been too well-behaved?
**[07:40] Yakyuken Lover**
Like, I've heard, "That handsome man's
got unexpected common sense."
**[07:43] Yakyuken Lover**
When I'm stuck in a boring box like that,
**[07:45] Yakyuken Lover**
it's a disgrace to my nickname,
"Yakyuken Lover."
**[07:48] Yakyuken Lover**
Because the most important thing to me
**[07:50] Yakyuken Lover**
is my mission to spread
*yakyuken* around the world!
**[07:54] Yakyuken Lover**
And so--
**[07:55] Yakyuken Lover**
I will now spread *yakyuken* to
people walking down the street.
**[08:00] Yakyuken Lover**
Hey, Miss! Let's play *yakyuken*!
**[08:02] Yakyuken Lover**
Out! Safe! *Yoyoino*--
**[08:04] Master**
*Yoi*...
**[08:06] Yakyuken Lover**
Owwwww! I give up! I give up!
**[08:08] Woman A**
I don't know what's going on, but thank you.
**[08:11] Master**
It was no trouble at all.
Just doing my job as a hunter.
**[08:16] Master**
Yakyuken Lover...
**[08:18] Master**
I cannot overlook you hypnotizing people
to force them to play *yakyuken*.
**[08:24] Master**
VRC? This is the guild master.
I'd like to request the detention of a vampire.
**[08:28] Yakyuken Lover**
Guild master?!
**[08:30] Yakyuken Lover**
This old guy's that girl's old man? Crap!
**[08:34] Yakyuken Lover**
If he finds out I made his daughter
play *yakyuken*, he'll kill me!
**[08:38] Master**
Yes... What?
**[08:40] Yakyuken Lover**
Well, I'll be sent to the VRC soon anyway,
so there's no time for him to find out.
**[08:45] Master**
I understand. Goodbye.
**[08:50] Master**
He really did not want to go through
the bother of imprisoning you again.
**[08:53] Yomotsuzaka**
Don't come back again! If you're gonna come,
then cough up some rent!
**[08:56] Master**
He said he'd leisurely do some
other work for about an hour
**[08:59] Master**
and then come reluctantly after that.
**[09:01] Yakyuken Lover**
He's really upfront about neglecting his duties.
**[09:03] Master**
Just what mischief did you cause at the VRC?
**[09:06] Yakyuken Lover**
The food's free there, so I was just
using it as a place to sleep.
**[09:09] Master**
You're like a crooked gigolo.
**[09:12] Master**
Jeez. I had dinner plans.
**[09:14] Yakyuken Lover**
So this means what? I have to spend
a whole hour with this guy?!
**[09:18] Yakyuken Lover**
This is gonna be awkward!
**[09:19] Master**
Oh, hello, Koyuki?
Yes, there's a vampire...
**[09:24] Master**
Yes, I'm fine, but I'm sorry.
Please go wait for me somewhere.
**[09:29] Master**
Huh? You're going to come here?
**[09:32] Master**
Well, you're training to be a hunter, too.
It'll be good for you.
**[09:35] Master**
I'll see you later then.
**[09:39] Master**
She's the apple of my eye.
**[09:41] Yakyuken Lover**
Wait a minute. Have I been checkmated?
If that busty girl comes...
**[09:46] Koyuki**
Oh, it's the man who played *yakyuken* with me.
**[09:50] Master**
The man who played *yakyuken* with you?
**[09:52] Yakyuken Lover**
Wait, I'll be totally crushed!
I'll die ten times! Crap! Crap!
**[09:57] Yakyuken Lover**
Isn't this bad? For your daughter
to meet a guy like me?
**[10:01] Master**
What are you planning to do to my
daughter, idiot baldy? I'll crush you.
**[10:05] Yakyuken Lover**
Wait, I'm not trying to get
the crushing over with sooner!
**[10:08] Yakyuken Lover**
I need to get out of here as soon as possible.
**[10:10] Yakyuken Lover**
Come on, can't you let me go?
It was just an attempted crime.
**[10:13] Master**
You were caught in the act.
**[10:14] Yakyuken Lover**
Don't say that. My little brother's in his
bikini, waiting for me to come home.
**[10:19] Master**
What are you doing to your little brother?
**[10:21] Yakyuken Lover**
No! That's just what he likes wearing!
**[10:24] Yakyuken Lover**
My ghost little brother's waiting, too!
**[10:26] Master**
Did your brother pass away?
**[10:29] Yakyuken Lover**
No, he's just always wearing a ghost cosplay...
**[10:32] Master**
Let them both wait!
**[10:34] Master**
I'm repeating myself, but I cannot
overlook indiscriminate hypnosis.
**[10:40] Yakyuken Lover**
I have no choice...
**[10:42] Yakyuken Lover**
♬ If you're gonna play baseball ♬
**[10:45] Yakyuken Lover**
♬ Why not try playing like this? ♬
**[10:48] Yakyuken Lover**
Out! Safe! *Yoyoino*--
**[10:53] Yakyuken Lover**
Oh, no, I lost. I need to take
off a piece of clothing...
**[10:56] Master**
Don't tell me--
**[10:57] Yakyuken Lover**
Bindings also count as clothes!
See ya later, alligator!
**[11:02] Strip Mahjong Leader**
Yo, yo, yo!
**[11:03] Strip Mahjong Leader**
Just play with us a little!
**[11:05] Sign**
"East" "South" "West" "North"
**[11:06] Strip Mahjong East**
Come on, Miss!
**[11:08] Koyuki**
Who are you people?
**[11:09] Strip Mahjong Leader**
We're the vampires, Strip Mahjong Club!
**[11:09] Sign**
"Vampires - Strip Mahjong Club"
**[11:12] Strip Mahjong East**
Strip mahjong, or vampire mahjong!
**[11:14] Strip Mahjong South**
Take your pick!
**[11:19] Strip Mahjong Leader**
Hey, come play around a table with us!
**[11:21] Strip Mahjong East**
You can bet either blood or clothes!
**[11:24] Strip Mahjong South**
It's okay if you don't know the rules!
We'll teach you patiently!
**[11:27] Strip Mahjong West**
If we lose, we'll strip, too!
**[11:29] Strip Mahjong North**
It doesn't sound too bad, right?
**[11:31] Koyuki**
Yes, it does.
**[11:33] Yakyuken Lover**
Who the hell are they?
They're the same type of character as me!
**[11:37] Master**
Don't move one step from here, vampire.
**[11:40] Yakyuken Lover**
Wait. Let me help, too.
I'll send those copycats flying.
**[11:46] Strip Mahjong South**
I'll take this cute girl!
**[11:50] Sign**
"Special Hammer for
Suppressing Vampires ver.
Stake-Driving Iron Hammer!!"
**[11:53] Master**
Stake-Driving Iron Hammer!
**[12:03] Strip Mahjong Leader**
Damn it, he's a hunter?!
**[12:04] Strip Mahjong East**
Don't be intimidated! Surround them!
There's more of us!
**[12:07] Yakyuken Lover**
I can't let you do that.
**[12:09] Strip Mahjong Leader/East/West/North**
What?!
**[12:09] Yakyuken Lover**
Out! Safe! *Yoyoinoyoi!*
**[12:13] Strip Mahjong Leader**
Oh, no! My body's playing *yakyuken* on its own!
**[12:18] Sign**
"Unorthodox Yakyuken Punch!!"
**[12:19] Yakyuken Lover**
Unorthodox Yakyuken Punch!
**[12:22] Strip Mahjong West**
No fair! You used a physical attack
while he was taking off his clothes!
**[12:26] Yakyuken Lover**
There's no reason to keep
*yakyuken*'s moral code with you lot!
**[12:31] Strip Mahjong North**
What did you say?!
**[12:32] Strip Mahjong East**
Let's get 'em!
**[12:33] Strip Mahjong South**
Take this! Table Slam Attack!
**[12:36] Yakyuken Lover**
*Yoyoinoyoi!*
**[12:52] Yakyuken Lover**
*Yoi!*
**[12:55] Strip Mahjong Leader**
Their *yakyuken* combination offense
and defense flow together like water!
**[12:58] Strip Mahjong East**
I-It's no good! We can't win!
**[13:02] Strip Mahjong Leader**
I'm very sorry for what we did.
**[13:04] Strip Mahjong South**
We'll never force anyone
to play strip mahjong again.
**[13:07] Strip Mahjong Leader**
We'll just play quietly with our friends.
**[13:10] Master**
If you do this again, I'll crush you.
**[13:13] Yakyuken Lover**
Well, it was thanks to the help of Mr. Yakyuken.
**[13:18] Koyuki**
Oh!
**[13:18] Master**
What's the matter, Koyuki?
**[13:20] Yakyuken Lover**
Oh, no! I forgot! Crap! I'm gonna be crushed!
**[13:25] Yakyuken Lover**
If it's come to this, I'll use my last resort!
**[13:32] Yakyuken Lover**
I'll pray! Please! Don't say anything!
**[13:37] Koyuki**
I thought his kimono was an interesting pattern.
**[13:39] Master**
Is that right?
**[13:40] Yakyuken Lover**
She understood! Thanks!
**[13:46] Yomotsuzaka**
Hey, that's more vampires than you said, fool.
**[13:49] Master**
You're finally here?
**[13:53] Yakyuken Lover**
Well, I'm getting detained now.
Later, gator. We made a pretty good team.
**[13:59] Transparent Lower Body**
Is that you, Ken? And the VRC?!
**[14:02] Micro Bikini**
Aren't you embarrassed about getting
caught by the VRC over and over, fool?
**[14:06] Micro Bikini**
Oh! Did you try to play *yakyuken*
with that girl again?!
**[14:10] Master**
"Again"?
**[14:14] Yakyuken Lover**
It wasn't like me to go sneaking around anyway.
**[14:17] Yakyuken Lover**
Let me introduce myself again, you two.
My name is Yakyuken Lover!
**[14:23] Yakyuken Lover**
Miss, let's have a rematch right here, right--
**[14:32] Koyuki**
I brought some food.
**[14:36] Ronaldo**
Man, that vampire was a cinch.
I've got some extra time now.
**[14:36] Sign**
"Hello, How Are You? Are You Free?"
**[14:41] Ronaldo**
I'm not good with free time...
What should I do?
**[14:44] Ronaldo**
I cut my toenails yesterday already--
**[14:50] Ronaldo**
What do you want, Lord Dral?! You--
**[14:51] Draluc**
Youngster! Where are you right now?
**[14:54] Ronaldo**
Where? I'm in front of the office.
**[14:56] Draluc**
I'm too late... Listen, I'll explain later.
**[14:59] Draluc**
I'll be right there. Just make sure
you don't say you're free!
**[15:01] Ronaldo**
Huh?
**[15:02] Draluc**
Try not to give him any stimulus.
You can even ignore him!
**[15:05] Draluc**
Whatever you do, don't say you're free!
**[15:07] Ronaldo**
Huh?
**[15:09] Ronaldo**
What's with that bastard--?
**[15:11] The Progenitor**
Welcome back.
**[15:14] The Progenitor**
Are you free?
**[15:16] The Progenitor**
Let's play.
**[15:17] The Progenitor**
Stare.
**[15:18] Ronaldo**
If I say, "I'm free," then something
terrible will happen, right?
**[15:21] Ronaldo**
I know! I see monsters like this online!
**[15:24] The Progenitor**
What shall we play? Baseball?
**[15:26] Ronaldo**
Don't react. Don't say, "We need 16 more
people for baseball," or anything like that!
**[15:30] The Progenitor**
Cops and robbers?
**[15:31] Ronaldo**
We'd need more than 30 people!
**[15:33] Ronaldo**
It'd just be one person running and one
person chasing! Was a crime committed?!
**[15:36] The Progenitor**
We could play *Shin-Bros* on the big
screen in Shin-Yokohama Arena.
**[15:40] Sign**
"Super Perverted Shin-Yoko Brothers"
**[15:40] Ronaldo**
That sounds kind of fun! Stop it!
**[15:46] Ronaldo**
Did he get bored?
**[15:47] Ronaldo**
I'm safe...
**[15:50] Ronaldo**
Help me!
**[15:53] Draus**
Father! You can't play with Paul!
The aftermath will affect Draluc!
**[15:56] Ronaldo**
Lord Dral's dad!
**[15:58] Draluc**
Shh! This is a funny scene,
so let's watch a little longer!
**[16:01] Ronaldo**
I'll kill you!
**[16:02] Ronaldo**
Why is that old cyclone trying to play with me?
**[16:05] Draluc**
It's Grandfather's "Are you free?" mode.
**[16:06] Ronaldo**
"'Are you free?' mode"?!
**[16:08] Draluc**
It comes over him sometimes.
He suddenly wants to play with someone,
**[16:12] Draluc**
but he's like a fifth grade superman
with unlimited energy and stamina,
**[16:16] Draluc**
so anyone who plays with him
will crumble to dust and die!
**[16:20] Draluc**
I heard he made Father go with him to the
Kawah Ijen volcano to roast marshmallows.
**[16:26] Ronaldo**
Your old man's always like that...
**[16:29] Draluc**
I don't know why, but Grandfather said--
**[16:32] The Progenitor**
I'm going to play in Shin-Yoko.
**[16:34] Draluc**
That's what he said this time.
**[16:35] Ronaldo**
Why?!
**[16:37] Draluc**
Anyway, if you say you're free, that's the end!
**[16:40] The Progenitor**
Are you free? Interested in bungee jumping?
**[16:44] Draluc**
I'm busy conquering the
100th floor of a dungeon...
**[16:47] Draluc**
How about crossing the
Danakil Desert with Father?
**[16:51] Draus**
What?!
**[16:52] The Progenitor**
Very well.
**[16:54] The Progenitor**
I'll go look for someone who seems free.
**[16:56] Draus/Draluc**
Wait a minute!
**[16:58] Ronaldo**
What should we do?!
**[17:00] Draluc**
I don't know! He won't listen
once he's made up his mind!
**[17:02] Draus**
We need to contain the damage.
**[17:03] Ronaldo**
Is that even possible?!
**[17:04] Draus**
We need to make sure no one
he talks to says they're free.
**[17:09] Draus**
If after that, someone does say it...
then we'll just foist him on them!
**[17:13] Ronaldo**
You're not containing anything!
**[17:14] Draluc**
Shut up, taco! You'll die if you try
to contain that human-shaped cyclone!
**[17:17] The Progenitor**
Hello, everyone!
**[17:19] Batter**
What? What?
**[17:20] Medoki**
It's the old hurricane guy from Halloween!
**[17:23] Medoki**
What's going on?
**[17:24] Ronaldo**
To cut to the chase, if you say
you're free, you'll die.
**[17:26] Medoki**
What kind of demon did you bring here?!
**[17:29] The Progenitor**
Are you free? What are you doing?
**[17:31] Satetsu**
I'm eating a sandwich.
**[17:33] Ronaldo**
He went for the guy who's most likely to say it!
**[17:35] The Progenitor**
If you're free, will you play with me?
**[17:37] Medoki**
You can do it, Satetsu!
**[17:38] Ronaldo**
Don't open your mouth!
**[17:40] The Progenitor**
Will you make a huge takoyaki using
a giant heat-resistant bowl with me?
**[17:46] Satetsu**
What would go inside?
**[17:47] Ronaldo**
Why are you sounding interested now, idiot?!
**[17:49] Draus**
He'll make you make one
that's as big as an asteroid!
**[17:52] The Progenitor**
If you're interested, then--
**[17:55] Master**
He has work to do.
**[17:57] Ronaldo**
Master!
**[18:03] The Progenitor**
Mustache friends.
**[18:06] The Progenitor**
Double mustache friends.
**[18:11] Ronaldo**
Why are you kind of laughing at his joke?!
**[18:12] Satetsu**
He'll think you're free!
**[18:14] Draluc**
It's no good! He's got the sensibilities of a
middle-aged man, so he's weak to dad jokes!
**[18:18] Ronaldo**
Don't encourage him!
**[18:20] Ronaldo**
See? Now he's changed his target!
**[18:22] Ronaldo**
He's having fun with a dancing duck!
What'll you do?!
**[18:25] The Progenitor**
Are you free? Can I take off that duck suit?
**[18:33] The Progenitor**
It's a little stinky.
**[18:35] Draus**
Those kinds of costumes are all like that.
**[18:38] Handa**
Are you hunters okay?!
**[18:40] Hana**
I felt the presence of a really strong
vampire coming from here--
**[18:42] Ronaldo**
Handa! Idiot, get away from here!
**[18:44] The Progenitor**
Child of the time between night and day--
**[18:48] The Progenitor**
Are you free?
**[18:49] Ronaldo**
Don't say you're free!
It'll be terrible if you do.
**[18:49] Sign**
"If you say you're free, you'll die"
**[18:51] Ronaldo**
Just talk your way out of it somehow!
**[18:53] Handa**
Today's my... day off...
I don't have plans...
**[18:57] Handa**
My mom... My mom says I shouldn't lie...
**[18:59] Ronaldo**
There's a time and place for everything, Momo!
Sometimes we have to tell little white lies!
**[19:02] Handa**
Shut up, my mom wouldn't say anything like that!
**[19:08] Handa**
I promised Ronaldo and the others...
that we'd form a band...
**[19:13] Ronaldo**
Don't get *me* involved!
**[19:17] Sign**
"It Won't Come If You Rush It"
**[19:17] Ronaldo**
HANDA-N, first single:
**[19:19] Ronaldo**
"It Won't Come If You Rush It!"
**[19:22] Ronaldo**
♬ Suddenly ♬
**[19:23] Ronaldo**
♬ You suddenly brought it up ♬
**[19:26] Ronaldo**
♬ So that's why we ♬
**[19:28] Ronaldo/Handa**
--♬ Sing ♬
--♬ Sing! ♬
**[19:30] Ronaldo/Handa**
--♬ When people ♬
--♬ YEAH! OH! ♬
**[19:32] Ronaldo**
♬ Have to rush ♬
**[19:33] Ronaldo**
♬ They can't think of any lyrics ♬
**[19:36] Handa**
♬ Can't think of any! ♬
**[19:37] Ronaldo/Handa**
--♬ Your pure, um... you know ♬
--♬ Fooooooo! ♬
**[19:38] Ronaldo**
♬ Is, oh... ♬
**[19:41] The Progenitor/Scooter Kid**
--Are you free?
--Depends.
**[19:43] Ronaldo**
He's not watching!
**[19:45] Ronaldo**
You can't say you're free, damn kid!
**[19:47] Draluc**
He'll take you touring at
180 km/h on your scooter!
**[19:51] Scooter Kid**
Oh? Going to that world
would be a scooter rider's dream.
**[19:58] Ronaldo**
That's a little cool, but stop!
**[20:01] Ronaldo**
Stop them!
**[20:02] Draus**
Father! It's seriously bad to do that to a kid!
**[20:04] Draluc**
He'll get scraped up on the asphalt!
**[20:07] Handa**
I sense a vampire!
**[20:09] Maria**
Hey, what's that?!
**[20:11] Sign**
"Eight-Eyed Leech (King Size)"
**[20:13] Roanldo**
Get ready. It's a big one!
**[20:14] Satetsu**
It looks vicious!
**[20:15] Shot**
First, get the kid out of here!
**[20:17] Scooter Kid**
Oh...
**[20:22] Medoki**
H-He's strong.
**[20:23] Ronaldo**
The action scene got cut.
**[20:25] Draluc**
I mean, it *is* my grandfather.
**[20:27] Draus**
That's the kind of person he is.
That's why he's hard to deal with.
**[20:30] Mr. Lewd Talk**
Oh? Did you beat him already?
**[20:32] Draus**
Bastard!
**[20:33] Mr. Lewd Talk**
I was just about to try and start a Lewdemic.
**[20:37] Draluc**
The vampire, Mr. Lewd Talk!
**[20:39] Ronaldo**
What?! That was working for you?!
**[20:41] Mr. Lewd Talk**
Working? No.
**[20:43] Mr. Lewd Talk**
I simply cheered on its fetish of "swallowing
a human whole and sucking its blood
**[20:49] Mr. Lewd Talk**
while getting attacked from the inside."
**[20:53] Draluc**
Is that why it was so vicious?
**[20:54] Ronaldo**
What a stupid trick.
**[20:57] Mr. Lewd Talk**
Since you're all gathered here,
I'll use the Lewd Talk Beam--
**[21:01] Draluc**
Wait!
**[21:04] Draluc**
Are you free right now?
**[21:07] Mr. Lewd Talk**
Yeah, I'm free. I'll have
you all keep me company--
**[21:13] The Progenitor**
Then, let's play.
**[21:16] Mr. Lewd Talk**
Wh-Why is "D" here...?!
**[21:21] Draluc**
Yes. Divine retribution!
**[21:23] Draus**
You said it!
**[21:26] Draus**
But for Father to directly
meddle with humans...
**[21:33] Draus**
He might've remembered...
**[21:46] Draus**
...his human friend who passed away.
**[23:24] Sign**
"Enveloping the darkness"
**[23:26] Sign**
"Enveloping the town"
**[23:28] Sign**
"Enveloping lives"
**[23:31] Draluc**
Get him!
**[23:32] Draluc**
Show him the power of a future hunter!
**[23:36] Draluc**
The vampire dies in no time!
# E10 - Little Little Concerto
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/G50UZ53QJ/little-little-concerto)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:16] Draluc**
Stop it, Damn-aldo! You made me die!
**[00:18] Draluc**
That's not how you should wake someone up!
**[00:20] Draluc**
You five... year-old?
**[01:56] Sign**
"Little Little Concerto"
**[01:58] Draluc**
Who's this kid?
Ronaldo's secret love child?
**[02:02] Draluc**
No, there's no way.
**[02:03] Draluc**
If you take away that guy's virginity,
he will cease to exist.
**[02:07] Draluc**
Then, his brother's secret love child?
**[02:10] Draluc**
Why'd you take off your pants?!
**[02:13] Ronaldo (young)**
I'm so cool! The strongest
hunter in the world--
**[02:18] Draluc**
Th-The extent of his stupidity!
**[02:21] Draluc**
He's not a secret love child!
This has to be Ronaldo himself!
**[02:24] Draluc**
This is bad! Hinaichi! The five-year-old's
turned into a five-year-old!
**[02:28] Hinaichi (young)**
Wee.
**[02:29] Draluc**
Two-year-old?!
**[02:31] Draluc**
Hinaichi, too?
**[02:33] Draluc**
This must be the work of some kind of vampire.
**[02:36] Draluc**
If you keep pulling that, I'll die.
**[02:38] Draluc**
Anyway, we need to hurry up and--
**[02:39] Ronaldo (young)**
Hey! Hey! Hey, hey!
**[02:42] Ronaldo (young)**
Hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey...!
**[02:45] Draluc**
Stop that, you excited monkey!
**[02:48] Draluc**
Learn a move other than hitting!
**[02:53] Draluc**
My prized game cassette
is making a delicious sound!
**[02:58] Draluc**
I'll play with you later, but act like
a big brother right now, John!
**[03:01] Ronaldo (young)**
Wanna see my wee-wee?
**[03:03] Hinaichi (young)**
Wee?
**[03:04] Draluc**
Don't show her that!
**[03:12] Draluc**
Solo child-rearing really
takes an emotional toll!
**[03:14] Draluc**
I need to hurry up and hand them off to someone!
**[03:18] Draluc**
Excuse me. I'd like a babysitter--
**[03:22] Master (young)**
Draluc, thank goodness you're here.
Please watch two or three of them for me.
**[03:26] Draluc**
Sand...
**[03:29] Draluc**
What's going on?
**[03:30] Master (young)**
Everyone suddenly became
children before our eyes...
**[03:33] Draluc**
Wait, you're younger, too!
Without your mustache, you look a bit harried.
**[03:38] Master (young)**
Please leave me alone.
**[03:40] Senya (young)**
I'm in my boyhood years, too.
**[03:42] Draluc**
Senya?! How did you turn out like that?!
**[03:45] Hiyoshi (young)**
It looks like everyone's gotten
about 10 or 15 years younger.
**[03:49] Handa (young)**
Ronalo!
**[03:51] Hiyoshi (young)**
We were out on patrol when this happened.
**[03:53] Draluc**
It's nice that you don't seem
to have changed much.
**[03:56] Hiyoshi (young)**
Shut up! Isn't my skin more supple and stuff?
**[03:59] Maria (young)**
Oh, so round!
**[04:02] Draluc**
It looks like even hunters with many battles
under their belts are innocent as children.
**[04:06] Maria (young)**
Can I butcher this and eat it?
**[04:09] Draluc**
I take back what I just said! Nothing's changed!
**[04:12] Shot (young)**
Don' talk 'bout weird stuff.
Let's play tig 'nstead!
**[04:16] Draluc**
Shot, where are you from?
**[04:17] Ronaldo (young)**
Hey, guys! If you hit him, he dies! It's fun!
**[04:21] Ta Chan (young)**
It's not fun.
**[04:24] Draluc**
There's nothing harsher than
blunt words from a child this age.
**[04:28] Draluc**
Oh, look.
**[04:29] Draluc**
The arm guy's played by himself
since he was young. What a good boy!
**[04:35] Master (young)**
Don't put your hand in
if you can't get it out after.
**[04:38] Draluc**
What a dope.
**[04:43] Senya (young)**
Hey, we won't get anywhere if we
just stay here and play with the kids.
**[04:47] Master (young)**
Yes. We need to hurry and investigate the cause.
Mr. Vamone's nihilism is also getting worse.
**[04:53] Draluc**
Children have no mercy for
costumed characters like that.
**[04:58] Yomotsuzaka (young)**
As expected, you're just standing idly by.
Incompetent fools.
**[05:02] Draluc**
Oh, it's the ultra-rude psycho dog mask guy!
**[05:06] Yomotsuzaka (young)**
This phenomenon was caused by a vampire.
**[05:10] Yomotsuzaka (young)**
Look for the source of the fog
that has covered Shin-Yoko.
**[05:15] Yomotsuzaka (young)**
That's where the main body is.
**[05:17] Draluc**
First, can't you make a drug
to make them go back to normal?
**[05:21] Master (young)**
Will we naturally go back to normal
if we hit the main body?
**[05:24] Yomotsuzaka (young)**
Nope! This is a most important case.
**[05:27] Yomotsuzaka (young)**
Of course, I'll make everyone
in town research subjects!
**[05:31] Draluc**
Shouldn't we exile this guy?
**[05:35] Yomotsuzaka (young)**
Get away.
**[05:36] Yomotsuzaka (young)**
How's that?! You can't do
a thing, can you, fool?!
**[05:39] Yomotsuzaka (young)**
That's what you get for defying me all the time!
**[05:44] Yomotsuzaka (young)**
Hey, get off! This isn't funny!
**[05:47] Yomotsuzaka (young)**
Don't touch that, fools!
**[05:50] Draluc**
I'm glad you're all getting along.
**[05:52] Master (young)**
Please take care of the kids
while we go fight the vampire.
**[05:54] Hiyoshi (young)**
You're the perfect person for it, Great Genius!
**[05:57] Senya (young)**
Be good, kids!
**[05:59] Yomotsuzaka (young)**
Huh? Hey, wait-- Fools!
**[06:02] Yomotsuzaka (young)**
I came here to get you bastards
so I could catch the vampire! Come back!
**[06:06] Yomotsuzaka (young)**
Be my escorts, you fools!
**[06:09] Yomotsuzaka (young)**
Get off of me! Move!
Don't ride me! Ow!
**[06:13] Draluc**
He said to find the source of the fog,
but the whole town's covered in fog...
**[06:17] Hiyoshi (young)**
We'll follow the vampire's presence and
try to head towards places with thicker fog.
**[06:22] Hiyoshi (young)**
We're counting on you, Kid Handa.
**[06:23] Hiyoshi (young)**
Point and tell us which way
you think we should go.
**[06:29] Hiyoshi (young)**
Sorry, let me rephrase that.
**[06:31] Hiyoshi (young)**
Look for the presence of a vampire.
I'll buy that for you later.
**[06:41] Hiyoshi (young)**
That's...
**[06:43] Draluc**
He picked something up.
**[06:45] Draluc**
Hm? The boy... Where have I...?
**[06:49] Hiyoshi (young)**
No! That's Odd Creature!
**[06:51] Senya (young)**
It looks like he's just getting aroused
by looking at a sexy magazine.
**[06:54] Draluc**
Scary!
**[06:55] Hiyoshi (young)**
You can't keep him. Put him back.
**[06:57] Draluc**
I can't believe you wanted to keep him
as a pet after seeing that.
**[07:00] Hiyoshi (young)**
Take this instead.
**[07:02] Draluc**
This is how you treat me?
**[07:11] Hiyoshi (young)**
This is... an abandoned factory?
**[07:14] Hiyoshi (young)**
And that's...
**[07:16] Hiyoshi (young)**
Passionate Kiss when she was a young girl!
**[07:19] Master (young)**
She's younger than I thought.
**[07:21] Hiyoshi (young)**
Yeah.
**[07:22] Hiyoshi (young)**
She wore a skirt at that age, huh?
**[07:24] Draluc**
Why'd she take it off when she grew up?!
**[07:30] Master (young)**
Oh, that's the sound of her falling in love.
**[07:32] Hiyoshi (young)**
No, stop! I can't make you happy!
**[07:33] Sign**
"The beginning of a love that crossed time"
**[07:38] Handa (young)**
I win, Ronalo!
**[07:40] Hiyoshi (young)**
Hey, Handa! Don't go--
**[07:43] Hiyoshi (young)**
Huh?
**[07:44] Hiyoshi (young)**
Ronaldo... Why are you here?
**[07:56] Yomotsuzaka (young)**
You fools...
**[07:58] Hiyoshi (young)**
Yomotsu! You were supposed
to be taking care of them!
**[08:00] Yomotsuzaka (young)**
No, they went on their own...
**[08:03] Hiyoshi (young)**
What?!
**[08:11] Senya (young)**
Everyone... Even Little Dral!
**[08:22] Hiyoshi (young)**
Hey, where'd they go?!
**[08:24] Hiyoshi (young)**
Hey!
**[08:33] Sign**
"Little Little Concerto ~Duck Squashing Part~"
**[08:42] Draluc**
This is...
**[08:50] Anti-Aging**
What a haul! A huge haul!
**[08:53] Anti-Aging**
Oh, kids are so cute.
**[08:56] Anti-Aging**
So obedient and weak...
And with such delicious blood...
**[08:57] Sign**
"Vampire - Anti-Aging"
**[09:01] Draluc**
So this guy's the cause of this commotion?!
**[09:03] Draluc**
This is obvious,
but I'll lose if I try to fight!
**[09:06] Draluc**
For now, I need to make sure
he doesn't notice me.
**[09:08] Anti-Aging**
Hm? Hey, kid. That's not a stuffed animal.
**[09:12] Draluc**
Goo-goo ga-ga, I'm a baby!
**[09:15] Anti-Aging**
I'll kill you!
**[09:16] Draluc**
It's no good! Sand...
**[09:19] Ronaldo (young)/Medoki (young)**
--Huh?
--Where are we?
**[09:22] Anti-Aging/Draluc**
--Damn.
--Everyone!
**[09:24] Draluc**
He's a bad vampire!
He's after your blood!
**[09:28] Draluc**
Now, get him!
**[09:30] Draluc**
Show him the power of future hunters!
**[09:36] Anti-Aging**
Here, have some snacks!
One bag per person!
**[09:39] Kids/Draluc**
--Yay!
--What?!
**[09:41] Anti-Aging**
It's not for nothing that I use
this ability to make a living.
**[09:44] Anti-Aging**
I'm used to dealing with kids!
**[09:47] Anti-Aging**
Look, kids! It's a radio-controlled drone!
**[09:51] Draluc**
Bastard...
**[09:53] Anti-Aging**
What that man's saying is scary, isn't it?
**[09:55] Anti-Aging**
Fighting's bad. Let's all play
nicely together, okay?
**[10:01] Draluc**
Oh, look! I found an armadillo here!
**[10:05] Kids**
Ooh, a 'madillo!
**[10:07] Draluc**
I win. There's nothing children
want to touch more than animals.
**[10:12] Anti-Aging**
How impudent. How about this, then?
**[10:15] Anti-Aging**
Come here. I've got a trampoline!
**[10:17] Draluc**
Hmph! Is that all you've got?
That can't beat John's charm--
**[10:22] Draluc**
What?!
**[10:23] Anti-Aging**
Idiot! With an animal,
only the children in front can touch it.
**[10:27] Anti-Aging**
No matter the era, nothing can beat
something everyone can play together!
**[10:32] Draluc**
Damn it, trends like that ostracize
gloomy kids who like being indoors!
**[10:37] Draluc**
Children! Who wants to have
a *Popómon* battle with me?
**[10:41] Draluc**
I'll even give cards to anyone who beats me!
You can choose a rare card you like!
**[10:47] Anti-Aging**
Capitalist pig. Children without
game consoles will be left out!
**[10:51] Anti-Aging**
Look, I'll show you some magic tricks!
**[11:08] Anti-Aging**
You're pushing your luck, manchild!
**[11:12] Draluc**
Quiet, weird old man. I won't give up
my throne as king of the kids!
**[11:16] Anti-Aging**
--Anyway, I can just beat you up
normally and get this over with.
**[11:19] Draluc/Anti-Aging**
--Sand!
--Anyway, I can just beat you up
normally and get this over with.
**[11:23] Anti-Aging**
Now, boys and girls, come here.
It's about time to eat.
**[11:34] Song**
♬ Vamone, Vamone ♬
**[11:36] Song**
--♬ Vamone, Vamone ♬
**[11:36] Master (young)/Song**
--Hey, kids! It's a duck!
--♬ Vamone, Vamone ♬
**[11:37] Master (young)/Song**
--Hey, kids! It's a duck!
--♬ Vamone, Vamone ♬
**[11:39] Song**
♬ Mr. Vamone ♬
**[11:43] Song**
--♬ Vamone, Vamone, Mr. Vamone ♬
**[11:44] Anti-Aging/Song**
--What's that?!
--♬ Vamone, Vamone, Mr. Vamone ♬
**[11:48] Anti-Aging**
How did you know where we were?!
**[11:51] Hiyoshi (young)**
The VRC's GPS is really powerful.
**[11:56] Senya (young)**
The kids are all safe!
**[11:57] Hiyoshi (young)**
All right!
**[11:58] Draluc**
Oh, how cruel...
**[12:00] Hiyoshi (young)**
Now, put everyone back to normal!
**[12:07] Draluc**
Oh, no! It's his power!
**[12:12] Draluc**
Even the captain's a child?!
**[12:15] Draluc**
Don't take off your pants!
**[12:16] Ronaldo (young)**
Hey! Me, too! Me, too!
**[12:17] Draluc**
What are you, the wee-wee brothers?!
**[12:19] Shot (young)**
I can take 'em off, too!
**[12:21] Satetsu (young)**
Uh...
**[12:22] Draluc**
Don't be influenced by them! Think for yourself!
**[12:24] Senya (boy)**
Oh, my. Boys are so vulgar.
**[12:26] Master (boy)**
I wanna play with the duck, too!
**[12:29] Draluc**
Oh, no, there's no one left to fight!
**[12:31] Anti-Aging**
Did you see that... hunters...?
**[12:34] Master (young)**
He's gotten older!
**[12:36] Anti-Aging**
Damn it, if I suck up too many years,
it ends up piling on me...
**[12:43] Master (young)**
Vampire bastard, what did you do?!
**[12:46] Anti-Aging**
Oh, crap.
**[12:47] Master (boy)**
I wanna play with the duck!
**[12:51] Master (young)**
Vampire bastard!
**[12:54] Anti-Aging**
Come on, body, you can do it!
Release my full power!
**[13:00] Master (young)**
Duck bastard!
**[13:01] Draluc**
You're mixing them up.
**[13:06] Master (boy)**
Yay! A duck!
**[13:07] Anti-Aging**
Oh... Is it dinnertime yet...?
**[13:12] Anti-Aging**
I want braised burdock root and rice soup...
**[13:19] Draluc**
You haven't turned back yet?
What a persistent power.
**[13:25] Yomotsuzaka (young)**
Oh, I won't let you fools go back yet.
**[13:28] Draluc**
Damn idiot dog mask director psycho!
**[13:30] Yomotsuzaka (young)**
It's my chance to experiment
on everyone in town!
**[13:34] Yomotsuzaka (young)**
I'll turn them back after I've turned
them all into my guinea pigs.
**[13:36] Draluc**
Idiot! You need to be demoted!
**[13:39] Master (young)**
Stop that! I won't allow it!
**[13:42] Yomotsuzaka (young)**
Looks like you've got your adult mind back!
**[13:44] Yomotsuzaka (young)**
How does it work?
I'll look into it, guinea pig!
**[13:54] Draluc**
Oh, he's back.
**[13:57] Hinaichi**
Huh?
**[13:59] Yomotsuzaka**
M-My back...
**[14:02] Senya**
Oh, dear, I'm back...
**[14:05] Ronaldo**
Lord Dral...
**[14:06] Draluc**
Oh, you're back, too, Sensation-aldo?
**[14:10] Ronaldo**
What... What happened...?
**[14:14] Ronaldo**
To me--to us?!
**[14:19] Handa**
What's that?
**[14:22] Sign**
"Miracle, Manacle, Why Do I
Always End Up Like This?"
**[14:23] Nagiri**
Ever since coming to this town,
nothing good has happened to me.
**[14:28] Nagiri**
My name, Tsujigiri Nagiri, has been forgotten,
and my strength has been weakening.
**[14:33] Nagiri**
But I won't run away.
**[14:35] Nagiri**
I'll get revenge on those hunters
and take my name--
**[14:39] Kantaro**
Tsujita! What a coincidence!
I'm so glad to see you!
**[14:43] Sign**
"Vamima!!!"
**[14:43] Kantaro**
Oh, here!
**[14:45] Nagiri/Kantaro**
--What... What did I ever do to you...?
--You can have the *warabimochi* I just bought!
**[14:49] Nagiri**
Well, I did do a bunch of stuff...
**[14:51] Kantaro**
Please help me on my quest
to arrest Tsujigiri today, too!
**[14:54] Nagiri**
You're too loud! Why do you
keep bumping into me?
**[14:56] Nagiri**
Are you a stalker or something?
**[14:58] Kantaro**
No, I just patrol the alleys
where Tsujigiri might appear...
**[15:03] Nagiri**
It must be a coincidence, then.
Sorry for suspecting you.
**[15:06] Nagiri**
Anyway, I'm busy today.
**[15:07] Kantaro**
Actually, I got a new weapon
to counter Tsujigiri!
**[15:11] Nagiri**
I've got a bad feeling...
**[15:13] Kantaro**
Special anti-Tsujigiri restraining handcuffs!
**[15:16] Kantaro**
They're made from an alloy of
orichalcum and Shinyokohamanium!
**[15:19] Kantaro**
These won't come off without
cutting our hands off at the wrist.
**[15:22] Kantaro**
Not without this key!
**[15:24] Nagiri**
I have a really bad feeling about this.
**[15:27] Nagiri**
And I've never been able
to escape my bad feelings.
**[15:31] Kantaro**
Tsujita?
**[15:37] Sign**
"[Blood-Sucking Bagworm]
They attach to various objects
and make a bag around themselves. Inferior Vampire"
**[15:39] Kantaro**
Wh-What is that?!
**[15:40] Nagiri**
Oh, no...
**[15:42] Kantaro**
Tsujita!
**[15:51] Nagiri**
Damn that inferior vampire!
**[15:54] Kantaro**
Are you all right, Tsujita?
**[15:59] Kantaro**
You got stuck to me!
**[16:01] Nagiri**
Don't treat me like a stinkbug!
**[16:03] Nagiri**
Get this off right now! Where's the key?
**[16:05] Kantaro**
Oh! Right! Please wait--
**[16:10] Kantaro**
I lost it...!
**[16:10] Nagiri**
Say that louder!
**[16:12] Kantaro**
It was probably rolled up by that bug earlier...
**[16:15] Nagiri**
Idiot! Then cut the chain with your pile bunker!
**[16:18] Kantaro**
Right!
**[16:19] Kantaro**
But it's very powerful,
so if we're not careful...
**[16:22] Kantaro**
...it could go "boom"!
**[16:24] Nagiri**
Don't walk around an urban area
with something like that!
**[16:26] Kantaro**
Scum! Dimwit! And you call
yourself an officer of the law?!
**[16:29] Kantaro**
I'm truly sorry!
**[16:30] Kantaro**
Let's go right now to Vamp Control
and have them cut the chain--
**[16:33] Nagiri**
Sorry, I said too much.
I'm used to this now, so it's fine.
**[16:36] Kantaro**
Used to the handcuffs? Why?
Is that what you like...?
**[16:38] Nagiri**
I'm used to this kind of trouble!
**[16:40] Nagiri/Kantaro**
--I won't let you take me to
the Vampire Control Division!
--Tsujita...?
**[16:44] Nagiri**
If they figure out who I am,
I'll be trapped like a rat.
**[16:46] Nagiri**
Oh, well...
**[16:48] Nagiri**
I don't think you should break this after going
through the trouble of having it made.
**[16:50] Nagiri**
Go after the key!
**[16:51] Kantaro**
Good idea, Tsujita! Let's go!
**[16:56] Kantaro**
Where'd you go, Mr. Bug? This way?!
**[17:00] Kantaro**
Tsujita!
**[17:01] Namima Manager**
Welcome! W-We have fresh fries...!
**[17:05] Customer**
What, is that a missile?!
**[17:06] Nagiri**
Die, all of you!
**[17:07] Kantaro**
It's not a missile! He is a kind
and good young man!
**[17:11] Kantaro**
He just happens to be handcuffed to me!
**[17:14] Customer**
Why? Is that what you like?
**[17:15] Nagiri**
Why did you leave out the word "accidentally"?!
**[17:17] Hinaichi**
Kantaro! What's going on?
**[17:19] Kantaro**
Oh, Vice-Captain!
**[17:22] Hinaichi**
You're the exhibitionist from back then!
**[17:24] Hinaichi**
Did you expose yourself again?!
**[17:26] Nagiri**
No!
**[17:27] Nagiri (imaginary)**
The blue sky is mine!
**[17:30] Nagiri**
What are you imagining? I'll kill you!
**[17:32] Kantaro**
I-If you go to places specifically for
exhibitionists, then it's not illegal...
**[17:37] Nagiri**
That's not it! That was an accident!
Anyway, get me out of here first!
**[17:37] Sign**
"Vamima!!!"
**[17:45] Nagiri**
Look for the bug properly.
Don't do anything dumb, or I'll kill you.
**[17:49] Kantaro**
Right.
**[17:50] Handa**
Kantaro! And Vice-Captain, too!
**[17:53] Hinaichi**
Good work. It looks like you were
able to expel the land cliones?
**[17:57] Handa**
Yeah. But then I thought
I smelled a vampire nearby.
**[18:01] Hinaichi**
What?
**[18:02] Kantaro**
It might be the bug from earlier!
**[18:03] Kantaro**
Tsujita!
**[18:04] Nagiri/Kantaro**
--Yes?
--How eccentric!
**[18:06] Nagiri**
I-I-I-I can't deal with a dhampir...
**[18:09] Nagiri**
If he sniffs out my true identity,
then I'll be skewered on the pile bunker.
**[18:13] Handa**
Oh, sorry, that clione!
Let me help you!
**[18:15] Nagiri**
N-No, I'm fine like this...
**[18:18] Nagiri**
I-I like stuff like this...
**[18:20] Handa**
I apologize for my rudeness!
**[18:22] Nagiri (imaginary)**
I can't see in front of me!
**[18:24] Nagiri**
That's not it! N-No, wait...
**[18:28] Nagiri**
Listen! If he's a dhampir, then he can
sense the presence of a vampire!
**[18:33] Nagiri**
Make him find that bug!
**[18:35] Kantaro**
Oh, right!
**[18:36] Kantaro**
Do you sense a large inferior vampire
somewhere around here?
**[18:40] Handa**
A large one?
**[18:44] Handa**
I think I smell one about 300 meters ahead.
**[18:47] Nagiri**
All right, let's go, officer!
**[18:48] Kantaro**
Right!
**[18:50] Handa**
Oh! Hey, Kantaro!
**[18:52] Hinaichi**
Kantaro!
**[19:00] Kantaro**
A blood-sucking bagworm...?
**[19:03] Kantaro**
They collect metal and use it
for their bag, right?
**[19:07] Kantaro**
But this one's way too big!
**[19:11] Nagiri**
It's quite common for inferior vampires.
**[19:14] Nagiri**
That one probably ate
something good and got huge.
**[19:17] Kantaro**
You sure know a lot, Tsujita!
**[19:21] Nagiri**
Looks like I'm lucky when it
comes to finding bugs, damn it.
**[19:26] Kantaro**
Stop in the name of the law, Mr. Bug!
**[19:29] Kantaro**
Tsujita, it's the key! On its back!
**[19:31] Nagiri**
Give that to us, you insect!
**[19:41] Nagiri**
It emerged with wings?!
**[19:47] Kantaro**
It's Mr. Bug 2.0!
**[20:14] Nagiri**
Damn it, are you picking a fight?!
**[20:16] Nagiri**
No, I can't do anything that would
let this idiot know who I am.
**[20:20] Kantaro**
Are you all right, Tsujita?
**[20:57] Kantaro**
Th-Thank you, Tsujita!
**[21:02] Nagiri**
L-Listen, get down slowly...
**[21:06] Nagiri**
Don't pull... M-My spine... will break...
**[21:15] Kantaro**
You saved me earlier! How did you do it?
**[21:18] Nagiri**
Wh-Who knows? It was a really sticky wall!
**[21:23] Kantaro**
I deeply apologize for bringing you
into such a dangerous situation.
**[21:27] Kantaro**
I even dropped my pile bunker.
I really messed up...
**[21:31] Nagiri**
Without that weapon, you're just a dimwit.
**[21:36] Nagiri**
As thanks for today, I'll slash yo--
**[21:39] Handa**
Kantaro!
**[21:40] Hinaichi**
What happened with the vampire?
**[21:41] Kantaro**
Oh, right. Thanks to Mr. Tsujita--
**[21:44] Nagiri**
I-It's what I like...
**[21:47] Kantaro**
It looks very good on you!
**[23:21] Sign**
"Someone who brings calamity"
**[23:25] Sign**
"Unexpected disaster"
**[23:28] Hiyoshi**
We need to warm up somehow...
**[23:30] Mikazuki**
Ronaldo, I'm so cold...
**[23:33] Ronaldo**
Doing this won't help! Everyone--
**[23:36] Draluc**
The vampire dies in no time.
# E11 - Please Suggest Warming Each Other Up
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GWDU8DZ19/please-suggest-warming-each-other-up)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:05] Mikazuki**
There's no signal, so we can't contact anyone.
We're stuck here, aren't we?!
**[00:09] Hiyoshi**
Stuck? Just our luck...
**[00:12] Ronaldo**
That joke's frigid, and so are we, Br--Captain.
**[00:15] Hiyoshi**
Yes...
**[00:18] Hiyoshi**
How did we end up like this?
**[01:53] On Top**
"Please Suggest Warming Each Other Up"
**[01:53] Excited By Snow**
I am the vampire, Excited By Snow!
**[01:56] Ronaldo**
So it was you?!
**[01:57] Ronaldo**
You made this snowstorm?
**[01:59] Hiyoshi**
You must be a very powerful vampire
to be able to control the weather.
**[02:03] Mikazuki**
Make the snow stop right now!
**[02:05] Excited By Snow**
♬ Come, let it snow ♬
**[02:07] Excited By Snow**
♬ Let it come down fast ♬
**[02:13] Excited By Snow**
It's coming down harder than I expected!
**[02:22] Hiyoshi**
We were lucky we happened to find
this hut in the mountains, but...
**[02:25] Ronaldo**
Sorry, Mikazuki...
**[02:27] Ronaldo**
After you came all the way out
to Shin-Yokohama again, too.
**[02:30] Mikazuki**
No, this isn't your fault, Ronaldo.
**[02:33] Micro Bikini**
This is your own fault.
**[02:34] Micro Bikini**
Because you drove that vampire
who can control snow into a corner.
**[02:38] Ronaldo**
And what are *you* doing here in your bikini?!
**[02:40] Micro Bikini**
Shut up! What's wrong with coming here
to do winter sports in a bikini?
**[02:44] Ronaldo**
Well? Did you get lost? In your bikini?
**[02:46] Hiyoshi**
You have zero life skills.
**[02:48] Micro Bikini**
Then, what about him?
**[02:52] Ronaldo**
He's just a naked old man now!
Don't sit huddled up like that!
**[02:55] Nudenium**
I just wanted to see the spring buds
on the mountains...
**[03:00] Ronaldo**
But what about clothes?!
At least put on a cloak or something!
**[03:03] Excited By Snow**
Everyone, first, please calm down--
**[03:04] Ronaldo**
Who the hell is this old guy?!
**[03:06] Excited By Snow**
Oh, it's me. My clothes got wet...
**[03:07] On Top**
"Vampire - Excited By Snow"
**[03:09] Ronaldo**
*You*?!
**[03:10] Hiyoshi**
Why were you doing that in those clothes?
**[03:13] Excited By Snow**
I was working at city hall,
but I got tired of my work...
**[03:18] Excited By Snow**
Next, please.
**[03:19] Excited By Snow**
More importantly, you should
take off everything that got wet.
**[03:22] Excited By Snow**
Otherwise, you'll be even colder.
**[03:25] Ronaldo/Hiyoshi**
This is *your* fault to begin with!
**[03:28] Ronaldo**
Anyway, we need to get warm somehow!
**[03:30] Micro Bikini**
But this place is as heated as a beach
house--which is to say, it's not.
**[03:33] Ronaldo**
You, make the snow stop!
**[03:35] Excited By Snow**
Even if I can make it snow,
I can't make it stop, snow!
**[03:38] Hiyoshi**
He puts that on when things
get dicey for him, huh?
**[03:41] Excited By Snow**
Sorry, snow!
**[03:42] Hiyoshi**
The snow won't stop, and we have no heaters.
**[03:45] Hiyoshi**
It's dangerous to let our
body temperatures drop.
**[03:47] Hiyoshi**
The only thing we can do is...
**[03:51] Everyone except Nudenium**
Get naked and hold each other to warm up!
**[03:55] Hiyoshi**
But who could say that? With *these* guys?!
**[03:57] Hiyoshi**
No way!
**[03:58] Ronaldo**
If I say it first, will Mikazuki
and my brother think I'm gross?
**[04:03] Micro Bikini**
How could I suggest holding each
other with a bunch of humans?
**[04:07] Mikazuki**
I can't undermine my cool image
any more than I already have...
**[04:10] Excited By Snow**
This isn't something the cause
of all of this could suggest...
**[04:13] Everyone except Nudenium**
Will someone please suggest warming
each other up by holding each other naked?
**[04:20] Ronaldo**
If it's come to this, then I have no choice.
Everyone, when you're naked--
**[04:23] Hiyoshi**
Oh, yeah, please say it!
**[04:25] Ronaldo**
When you're naked, what does it feel like?
**[04:27] Hiyoshi**
What are you saying?!
**[04:28] Nudenium**
It's not bad.
**[04:29] Hiyoshi**
Put on some clothes!
**[04:31] Mikazuki**
Ronaldo, I'm so cold...
**[04:33] Hiyoshi**
Oh, nice pass, young 'un!
**[04:36] Nudenium**
Oh, no! Take these flowers to wear.
You can use them for kindling, too--
**[04:40] Mikazuki**
Fresh flowers won't burn, idiot!
**[04:42] Hiyoshi**
This is bad. I need to do something--
**[04:45] Hiyoshi**
Excited Snow, no matter how we got here,
**[04:48] Hiyoshi**
since all six of us are stuck here together,
we need to work together.
**[04:51] Excited By Snow**
Yes...?
**[04:52] Hiyoshi**
Shall we get to know one another better?
**[04:55] Hiyoshi**
What do you think we should do?
Shake hands, or...
**[04:59] Hiyoshi**
...hug?
**[05:00] Excited By Snow**
I'm sorry for the trouble I have caused.
I am Excited By Snow.
**[05:05] On Top**
"Vampire
Excited By Snow - Ureo Yukifuri"
**[05:05] Excited By Snow**
My real name is Ureo Yukifuri.
**[05:08] Ronaldo**
He's a real person!
Makes sense for someone from city hall!
**[05:11] On Top**
"Vampire
Micro Bikini"
**[05:11] Micro Bikini**
Thank you for introducing yourself.
Here is my card.
**[05:14] Hiyoshi**
Why the hell do you have a business card?!
**[05:16] Ronaldo**
Anyone can tell that you're
a bikini with one look!
**[05:22] Micro Bikini**
It's not good, this is too cold!
**[05:24] Micro Bikini**
I'm losing feeling in my nipples...!
**[05:26] Micro Bikini**
In this situation, I'd even be willing
to warm myself up with humans.
**[05:29] Micro Bikini**
In fact, I'd be happy to!
**[05:31] Micro Bikini**
But I will one day be an emperor who will
rule over the humans. I can't suggest it--
**[05:37] Micro Bikini**
Should I just bite them now?
**[05:39] Everyone/Micro Bikini**
--Bikini... Bikini...
--If they're all wearing bikinis,
then they'll all obediently become my heaters!
**[05:45] Micro Bikini**
I don't even have to take off their clothes.
Bikinis really do rule!
**[05:49] Micro Bikini**
Put on a bikini for me!
**[05:55] Ronaldo**
Take that!
**[05:59] Ronaldo**
You think I can't counter a bikini?
**[06:01] Hiyoshi**
You're so used to it.
**[06:03] Mikazuki**
Why were you trying to bite him
at a time like this?
**[06:07] Ronaldo**
You wanted us to warm each other up?
**[06:09] Hiyoshi**
You should've just asked.
**[06:11] Mikazuki**
I don't want to be friends with
a bikini guy who can't communicate.
**[06:14] Micro Bikini**
Idiots! An emergency's a great time to
start the charge on my world conquest!
**[06:19] Ronaldo**
We're in trouble here because
we can't get back to that world!
**[06:22] Hiyoshi**
If they find six guys in bikinis,
we'll just end up on a talk show.
**[06:25] Mikazuki**
I don't want to be your friend.
**[06:30] Mikazuki**
But I'm really getting colder...
**[06:33] Ronaldo**
I'm in even more trouble now, too...
**[06:36] Hiyoshi**
Is Nude okay?
**[06:37] Hiyoshi**
Oh, no! He's catching a cold with
a peaceful expression on his face!
**[06:39] Ronaldo**
He's turned into Preserved Nude!
**[06:43] Ronaldo**
I can't be weirdly stubborn any longer!
**[06:47] Ronaldo**
Sorry, everyone. I was too embarrassed
to say how we should be dealing with this.
**[06:53] Ronaldo**
Even though it affected the safety
of the public. I'm sorry!
**[06:57] Hiyoshi**
That's right. Why am I being so stubborn?
**[07:01] Ronaldo**
In order to keep our body
temperature from going any lower,
**[07:03] Ronaldo**
we should forget our embarrassment,
get naked... and while naked--
**[07:09] Ronaldo**
While naked--!
**[07:11] Ronaldo**
We should dance!
**[07:17] Hiyoshi**
Dance, huh?
**[07:40] Sagyo**
It'll be hard to find them in such heavy snow...
**[07:44] Draluc**
At this rate, even if they're gorillas,
they'll be frozen in ice!
**[07:53] Sagyo**
A house is coming!
**[07:54] Handa**
I feel the presence of a vampire, too!
**[07:58] Shot**
Those voices are...!
**[07:59] Draluc**
It's Dumb-aldo and the others!
**[08:06] Sagyo**
It's a miracle!
**[08:08] Sagyo**
You're okay, Captain?
**[08:12] Sagyo**
Captain!
**[08:14] Draluc**
Hm?
**[08:16] Ronaldo**
It's no good, it's cold.
Let's warm each other up.
**[08:19] Hiyoshi**
*Soya*...
**[08:20] Nudenium**
Yes, the warmth of other people...
**[08:29] Ronalduel Official Narrator**
On today's show!
**[08:31] On Top**
"Legend of the Ronaldist"
**[08:31] Ronalduel Official Narrator**
In addition to his job as a hunter,
**[08:32] Ronalduel Official Narrator**
this man writes his own autobiographical
novels, *The War Chronicles of Ronaldo*.
**[08:37] Ronalduel Official Narrator**
He's Ronaldo!
**[08:38] Ronalduel Official Narrator**
He has forgotten about his deadline today, too!
**[08:44] Ronaldo**
Yes?!
**[08:45] Sanzu**
I-I-I-Is this Ronaldo?!
This is Sanzu from Autumn Books!
**[08:49] Ronaldo**
Huh?! Oh, hello!
**[08:50] Sanzu**
Today, Fukuma had to make a sudden
business trip, so I will be, eheh,
**[08:54] Sanzu**
going to collect the manuscript in his place!
**[08:56] Ronaldo**
That's it! If it's Sanzu,
she might give me an extension!
**[09:00] On Top**
"Ronaldo Vampire Hunter Agency"
**[09:00] Sanzu**
H-H-H-H-Hello! It is I, Sanzu!
I have come for the manuscript!
**[09:05] Sanzu**
Huh? Ronaldo? Are you home?
**[09:09] Ronaldo**
I felt so guilty that I instantly hid.
**[09:13] Sanzu**
Did something happen?
**[09:15] Sanzu**
There's no way it'd be something absurd
like him not having the manuscript.
**[09:19] Sanzu**
A sudden case or something--?
**[09:23] Sanzu**
Who the hell are you?!
**[09:25] Handa**
Hm? Who are *you*?
Tell me your name first.
**[09:28] Sanzu**
I, Sanzu, am just here as a proxy
for Ronaldo's editor!
**[09:31] Handa**
I'm Tou Handa. I'm part of the Vampire
Control Division's Hiyoshi Squad.
**[09:35] Sanzu**
You're from Vamp Control...
Are you here for a vampire?
**[09:38] Handa**
No, I came to put caterpillar
figurines in his desk drawer.
**[09:42] Ronaldo/Sanzu**
Why would you do that?!
**[09:43] Handa**
So I can laugh at that idiot's stupid
scaredy-cat face, of course!
**[09:47] Sanzu**
Bastard! Ronaldo isn't an idiot or stupid!
**[09:50] Handa**
Hm? You're just a proxy editor!
How would you know?
**[09:54] Sanzu**
What about you? What are *you* to Ronaldo?!
**[09:58] Handa**
I was his classmate for
three years in high school,
**[10:00] Handa**
and I supervise him as part of Vamp Control.
**[10:03] Sanzu**
He's closer to Ronaldo than I expected!
**[10:05] Sanzu**
But I won't allow you to insult Ronaldo!
I'll have you recognize how cool Ronaldo is!
**[10:11] Sanzu**
In other words...
I challenge you to a Ronalduel!
**[10:16] Ronalduel Official Narrator**
A Ronalduel!
**[10:18] Ronalduel Official Narrator**
It's a duel where Ronaldists fight
with their knowledge and merch!
**[10:23] Ronaldo**
What's that?
**[10:24] Handa**
You want to challenge me
to a Ronalduel? Interesting!
**[10:27] Handa**
I'll show you how lame he is,
impulsive Ronaldist!
**[10:30] Ronaldo**
What's a Ronaldist?!
**[10:32] Sanzu**
I won't lose to a dark Ronaldist like you!
**[10:36] Ronaldo**
There are dark and light versions?!
**[10:40] Sanzu**
I, Sanzu, will go first!
**[10:44] Ronaldo**
What are you two doing?
**[10:46] Ronalduel Official Narrator**
Ronalduel, start!
**[10:49] Sanzu**
I summon three Ronaldo bromide
cards as an advance guard!
**[10:53] Ronalduel Official Narrator**
In a Ronalduel, players deploy Ronaldo merch
and throw out Ronaldo facts to advance.
**[11:00] On Top**
"The War Chronicles of Ronaldo"
**[11:00] Sanzu**
In addition, in the rear guard, I have *The*
*Ronaldo Chronicles* Volume 1, page 128!
**[11:04] Sanzu**
I open it to the page of the last dance
battle scene in "Vampire of Dance"!
**[11:09] Ronaldo**
I don't know what's going on or what
the rules are, but I can't take this anymore!
**[11:12] Sanzu**
The books and goods all exist
because of his achievements!
**[11:14] Sanzu**
It's obvious how cool Ronaldo is!
**[11:17] Ronaldo**
Sanzu...
**[11:20] Handa**
Such a well-behaved Ronalduel!
You're going exactly by the rulebook!
**[11:24] Sanzu**
What?!
**[11:25] Ronaldo**
There's a rulebook?!
**[11:26] Handa**
If we're talking bromide cards,
you need to put out something like this.
**[11:30] Sanzu**
Th-That's--!
**[11:30] On Top**
"Ronaldo"
**[11:31] Handa**
Sold out in two seconds! The super rare
*Yakyuken* Edition bromide card!
**[11:34] Sanzu**
It's even got a disgraceful
handwritten autograph!
**[11:38] Ronaldo**
I don't understand how they're determining
who wins or loses, but I want to die!
**[11:42] Handa**
On top of that, on page 278 of Volume 1,
the book you opened, where he writes:
**[11:46] Handa**
"I've now reversed the trap
the vampire of dance set for me!
**[11:50] Handa**
It's become a mechanism for me to throw stakes!"
**[11:53] Handa**
This was when the vampire, Proto-Limbo Dancer,
made that idiot limbo dance,
**[11:57] Ronaldo/Handa**
--Soya!
--and he sent his opponent flying and won!
**[11:59] Handa**
--and he sent his opponent flying and won!
**[12:01] Sanzu**
What?!
**[12:02] Handa**
He exaggerated in a way that's like,
"Well, I wasn't lying..." That guy's an idiot!
**[12:06] Sanzu**
Th-This isn't just information he'd get
because of his advantageous position!
**[12:10] Sanzu**
His recitation of *The Ronaldo Chronicles*
from memory! And his analysis!
**[12:13] Sanzu**
He's a super dreadnought-class Ronaldist!
**[12:15] Sanzu**
You! How did you become so powerful?
**[12:18] Handa**
How? I read carefully, of course!
**[12:21] Sanzu**
Why would a dark Ronaldist
like you read so carefully?!
**[12:25] Handa**
In order to make fun of him
with everything I've got!
**[12:29] Handa**
To make fun of someone,
you need to know your enemy.
**[12:32] Handa**
I wouldn't do something like
criticize a movie I haven't seen!
**[12:36] Handa**
"You can't say bad things about
people you don't know."
**[12:38] Handa**
My mother taught me that.
**[12:40] Sanzu**
Damn it! I won't lose!
**[12:43] Sanzu**
I was a fan of *The Ronaldo Chronicles*
ever since it was a blog!
**[12:46] Ronalduel Official Narrator**
Let me explain!
**[12:47] Ronalduel Official Narrator**
*The Ronaldo Chronicles* books
**[12:48] Ronalduel Official Narrator**
originated with a blog Ronaldo had
to promote the profession of hunter.
**[12:53] Sanzu**
The writing in *The Ronaldo Chronicles*
is one of Ronaldo's charms!
**[12:56] Sanzu**
I'll show you the origin of that!
**[12:59] Sanzu**
This is a poem Ronaldo once posted on his blog!
**[13:04] Sanzu**
"We look up at the dim moon,
looking down on the blurring town.
**[13:08] Sanzu**
We howl at the unending night,
and cry at the contourless day.
**[13:12] Sanzu**
Oh, that light will come split the sky again."
**[13:17] Sanzu**
What?!
**[13:18] Handa**
Are you done with your counterattack?
Then, here I go.
**[13:22] Handa**
This will be my final turn!
**[13:24] Handa**
Field item: High School Album!
**[13:27] Handa**
This field is now under the influence
of our high school years!
**[13:31] On Top**
"Calling"
**[13:31] Handa**
And then, a combination summoning!
A high school classmate!
**[13:34] Kameya**
Hi, I'm Kameya!
**[13:36] Handa/Kameya**
Double Attack! Picture Summoning!
**[13:39] Handa**
Ronaldo not being able to get
a traffic cone off his head!
**[13:42] Handa**
Ronaldo not being able
to get out of a ball cage!
**[13:46] Handa**
Ronaldo not being able to get a porn DVD
out of the DVD player in the AV room!
**[13:51] Handa**
A 3-combo attack of Ronaldo
not being able to get out!
**[13:54] Sanzu**
I want those pictures!
**[13:56] Ronaldo**
Kill me now.
**[13:58] Handa**
Do you understand the difference
in our strength now?
**[14:00] Handa**
You should just acknowledge that he's lame!
**[14:03] Sanzu**
N-Not yet...
**[14:05] Sanzu**
L-Look at this picture.
**[14:08] Handa**
What's with that blurry picture?
**[14:11] Sanzu**
I was saved by Ronaldo before in the past.
**[14:15] Sanzu**
When I was getting off work late one night,
a vampire appeared in front of Autumn Books.
**[14:21] Sanzu**
He probably doesn't remember,
but it made me an even bigger fan.
**[14:26] Sanzu**
This is the picture he let me take back then.
It's the coolest picture I have of Ronaldo!
**[14:37] Kameya**
That's a good picture.
**[14:40] Kameya**
Even though that guy's strong,
he can be kind of dumb and weirdly shy,
**[14:44] Kameya**
so even I have trouble
taking cool pictures of him.
**[14:48] Kameya**
You took a good picture when you had the chance.
You really are Ronaldo's fan.
**[14:53] Ronaldo**
What the heck, Kameya?
You said something kind of good...
**[14:58] Handa**
It's hard to tell who won now.
**[15:01] Sanzu**
But there are no ties in Ronalduels!
**[15:04] Handa**
Then, let's have him decide who won in person.
**[15:12] Ronaldo**
If you knew I was here, then don't do this!
**[15:19] Ronaldo**
Sanzu!
**[15:22] Fukuma**
Ronaldo.
**[15:24] Fukuma**
How's progress on your manuscript?
**[15:29] Ronaldo**
Please wait another two weeks!
**[15:32] Fukuma**
No.
**[15:33] On Top**
"Tou Handa"
"I took this picture of Ronaldo poking
at a toy celery he thinks is real"
**[15:34] Sanzu**
Thanks.
**[15:38] On Top**
"Waltz with the Smiling Ice Lord
in the Town of the Eternal"
**[15:38] Northdin**
Young lady who smells of roses,
please allow me to touch my lips to your blood.
**[15:46] Girl**
Yes, of course.
**[15:53] Ronaldo**
Blood sucking cases?!
**[15:55] Hinaichi**
They appear to be happening in
succession in the next town over.
**[15:58] Hinaichi**
But it's strange.
**[15:59] Hinaichi**
All the victims are female, but they all
say that they gave the blood willingly.
**[16:05] Hinaichi**
They said the "Smiling Ice Lord"
was a kind and wonderful man.
**[16:09] Draluc**
Smiling... Ice...?
**[16:11] Hinaichi**
Apparently, he has a "smile of ice."
**[16:13] Ronaldo**
That's a pretentious name.
**[16:14] Hinaichi**
I'm heading to the scene right now.
**[16:17] Ronaldo/Hinaichi**
--Okay.
--Later.
**[16:18] Ronaldo**
All right, we should go to the guild, too--
**[16:20] Ronaldo**
A weirdo!
**[16:21] Draluc**
I'm arming myself for the extermination, idiot!
**[16:23] Ronaldo**
You look like an old guy having
too much fun at a festival!
**[16:26] Draluc**
This is no time to dawdle!
**[16:27] Draluc**
The public is in danger! We must deal
with him as soon as possible!
**[16:30] Ronaldo**
Did you eat a poisonous mushroom or something?
**[16:32] Draluc**
Listen! We need to increase the power
of all the gorillas and blow that guy away!
**[16:37] Ronaldo**
Wait. Do you know something about him?
**[16:40] Northdin**
"That guy"? How rude, Draluc.
**[16:44] Northdin**
You never learn, do you?
I believe I taught you at the beginning--
**[16:48] Northdin**
Call me "Mister"--
**[16:51] Northdin**
"Mister Northdin."
**[16:51] On Top**
"Vampire - Northdin"
**[16:55] Ronaldo**
Who are you?!
**[16:56] Draluc**
He came out! The show-off
toothbrush mustache bastard!
**[16:58] Draluc**
What the hell's a "Something Something Lord"?!
**[17:00] Draluc**
A warbler crying in ancient Kyoto,
drunk as a lord?!
**[17:01] Draluc**
Look, 'aldo! That air chair! He's focusing
telekinetic power on his butt to float!
**[17:06] Draluc**
He's the Tryhard Hovering-Butt Lord!
**[17:08] Ronaldo**
No way! You see that air chair
all the time in movies and stuff!
**[17:11] Ronaldo**
No, that's not it! Who the hell's
this "Butt-Hovering Lord"?!
**[17:15] Draluc**
That guy's Northdin.
**[17:16] Draluc**
A vampire obsessed with sex who's apparently
got the nickname "Smiling Ice Lord."
**[17:21] Draluc**
He's the one who taught me
the basics of being a vampire...
**[17:24] Draluc**
Kind of like a former tutor!
**[17:27] Northdin**
Not "former," bungling apprentice.
**[17:30] Draluc**
What?!
**[17:33] Northdin**
Oh? Did you think fake crying
would work on me?
**[17:40] Northdin**
Are you trying to act cute to avoid work?
You're a bit old for that now.
**[17:45] Draluc**
I don't like saying this myself,
**[17:46] Draluc**
but he's the one responsible for turning
the ephemeral beautiful young boy I was
**[17:49] Draluc**
into the wicked vampire with
furrowed brows that I am today!
**[17:52] Ronaldo**
You really shouldn't say that yourself!
**[17:55] Northdin**
I just came to greet you after we've been apart
for so long. But you look well, so I'm glad.
**[18:01] Northdin**
Good for you...
**[18:03] Northdin**
It looks like you're being
provided for by a kind human.
**[18:07] Draluc**
Shut up! You old mustachioed philanderer!
Looks like your eyesight's going!
**[18:12] Draluc**
Does it look like I'm being provided for here?!
It's the opposite! The opposite!
**[18:15] Draluc**
I'm providing for this town! For Shin-Yoko!
It's under my control! It's my castle town!
**[18:20] Draluc**
I can order those gorillas to beat you up
and put you in a bikini with one finger!
**[18:25] Northdin**
Oh? Is this your town? Interesting!
**[18:28] Northdin**
I'll test just how strong your control is.
**[18:32] Ronaldo**
Oh, wait!
**[18:36] Ronaldo**
Bastard! What's he planning?!
**[18:39] Northdin**
Strawberry flower that
blooms wild in the spring,
**[18:42] Northdin**
will you spare me a glance
with the rustle of the wind?
**[18:47] Woman**
What's with this weird man?
My heart's fluttering!
**[18:49] Ronaldo**
Stop, what are you doing?
**[18:51] Northdin**
I'm seducing a girl.
**[18:54] Ronaldo**
Why now?! Is it fate?
**[18:55] Draluc**
Bastard! How can you seduce a girl in my town?!
**[18:58] Ronaldo**
And you! What are you,
the headmaster of an all-girls school?!
**[19:01] Draluc**
Idiot! This is one of his powers--"charm"!
**[19:06] Draluc**
Anyone whose heart flutters even a little at
his words will have to do whatever he wants!
**[19:10] Ronaldo**
What did you say?!
**[19:12] Draluc**
Capture him! The whole town
will turn into his fan club!
**[19:15] Ronaldo**
Damn it! Don't move from there!
**[19:17] Middle-Aged Woman A**
Don't be violent with Northie!
**[19:19] Middle-Aged Women**
Old Lady Defense Formation!
**[19:21] Ronaldo**
He's already got a fan club!
**[19:23] Middle-Aged Women/Draluc**
--Heave-ho!
--Sand!
**[19:26] Ta Chan**
What are you doing, idiots?
**[19:29] Northdin**
I see a hunter. What a lovely lady.
**[19:32] Northdin**
I'm sure many vampires would be happy
to present their hearts to you.
**[19:36] Ronaldo**
Be careful, Ta Chan!
**[19:37] Draluc**
Don't get excited by his words!
**[19:40] Ta Chan**
What's that all of a sudden?
Don't you have common sense?
**[19:43] Ta Chan**
Don't get excited about a young woman
at your age, you kind of dumb old man.
**[19:48] Ta Chan**
I'll give you some garlic from our stock,
**[19:49] Ta Chan**
so eat that to get rid of your
old man smell and then die.
**[19:55] Northdin**
Delicious. Thank you, Miss.
**[19:57] Ronaldo**
What?!
**[19:59] Northdin**
With your skill, this can
become a jewel-like dish.
**[20:04] Ta Chan**
What... did you say?
**[20:07] Draluc**
Ta Chan!
**[20:08] Ronaldo**
It counts as a flutter if you think, "This guy's
pretty good," too?! That's cheating!
**[20:11] Northdin**
A gentleman seduces every woman in sight.
**[20:15] Ronaldo**
If you walk in front of a women's college,
you'll get an error and die!
**[20:18] Northdin**
A lovely warrior's valiant fruits
of battle shine under beautiful light.
**[20:24] Maria**
The ostrich is calm...
**[20:26] Ronaldo**
Maria!
**[20:27] Northdin**
Your eyes are fiery rubies,
**[20:30] Northdin**
like the light from Mars that
shines in the darkness of night.
**[20:33] Mimimi**
It's like the stargazing of love has started!
**[20:36] Northdin**
Hello, Miss.
**[20:39] Ronaldo**
He's being eaten!
**[20:41] On Top**
"Translation: Your beautiful lips
are like a field of red spider lilies.
I can't see anything else."
**[20:47] Ronaldo**
You're pretty amazing!
**[20:49] Northdin**
All women, regardless of rank or class!
**[20:53] Northdin**
From zygotes to ghosts,
I'll sincerely seduce any woman!
**[20:56] Ronaldo**
You're cool scum!
**[20:58] Middle-Aged Woman B**
We won't let you...
**[20:59] Middle-Aged Woman A**
...say bad things about Northie!
**[21:00] Middle-Aged Women**
Old Lady Cannonball! Heave-ho!
**[21:02] Ronaldo**
Please stop them!
**[21:04] Hinaichi**
You over there, don't move!
**[21:07] Hinaichi**
I'm taking you in for seducing
women to drink their blood!
**[21:10] Northdin**
Oh, brave red-haired princess!
**[21:13] Draluc**
Stop, Northdin!
**[21:15] Northdin**
I am honored to make your acquaintance.
**[21:17] Hinaichi**
What?!
**[21:23] Ronaldo**
Hinaichi!
**[21:26] Ronaldo**
Everyone...
**[21:28] Northdin**
Now, a villain needs a stronghold.
**[21:40] Satetsu**
Maria? Ta Chan?!
**[21:42] Shot**
What's the matter?
**[21:44] Satetsu**
W-Wait a minute!
**[21:50] Shot**
That guy's--
**[21:52] Satetsu**
There are civilians there, too.
Don't do anything yet.
**[21:58] Northdin**
I am now in complete control.
This chair is a little hard...
**[22:05] Draluc**
The vampire dies in no time.
# E12 - Fun Stupid Guys in Shin-Yokohama Special ver.
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GG1U2GP8D/fun-stupid-guys-in-shin-yokohama-special-ver)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:02] Northdin**
Hey, Draluc, are you listening?
**[00:04] Northdin**
Shin-Yoko is full of wonderful women,
and I quite like it.
**[00:09] Northdin**
Oh, excuse me.
This *was* your town, wasn't it?
**[00:14] Northdin**
You need to hurry up and exterminate
me with that one finger of yours.
**[00:19] Northdin**
Well, I'm looking forward to it.
**[00:23] Draluc**
Gentlemen. Sorry, but I'd
like to ask for your help.
**[00:27] Draluc**
I'll teach that bastard a lesson!
**[02:02] Master**
I can't believe this happened
while I was away...
**[02:03] Sign**
"Waltz with the Smiling Ice Lord
in the Town of the Eternal, Continued"
**[02:05] Shot**
Sorry, Master. I'm ashamed.
**[02:08] Senya**
I wanted him to use Charm on me, too.
**[02:11] Medoki**
We can't lay hands on civilians, either.
**[02:17] Satetsu**
Oh, um, excuse me. This place
is dangerous right now...
**[02:22] Ronaldo**
Don't tell me they're being controlled!
**[02:23] Senya**
Oh, dear, he can use Charm
without even seeing his target?
**[02:27] Draluc**
He made his power stronger.
**[02:30] Draluc**
It's likely that the whole town
is under the influence of Charm--
**[02:32] Maremi**
That's exactly right.
**[02:36] Ronaldo**
Why are you eating meat?!
**[02:38] Maremi**
I can resist Charm,
**[02:40] Maremi**
but since it takes a lot of mental energy,
I must continuously eat *yakiniku*.
**[02:45] Ronaldo**
Continuously?!
**[02:46] Maremi**
I cannot move, but I brought some help.
**[02:50] Yakyuken Lover**
It's a request from the empress.
I'll do my best!
**[02:53] Nudenium**
We must also save Passionate, our compatriot!
**[02:56] Odd Creature**
I came to smell the girls.
**[02:58] Ronaldo**
Thanks, now go home.
**[03:00] Draluc**
No, we can use them.
**[03:02] Ronaldo**
For what?! A parade of perverts?!
**[03:04] Draluc**
To defeat that guy!
**[03:06] Draluc**
I, Draluc, will do anything
to make him eat his words.
**[03:11] Draluc**
That's right. Anything.
**[03:15] Northdin**
We vampires don't have much to do
with the kingdom up in the heavens,
**[03:20] Northdin**
but even so, I can tell.
**[03:22] Northdin**
That you are a flower plucked from
the garden in that place, beautiful.
**[03:29] Hinaichi**
Thanks, Northdin.
**[03:31] Northdin**
Oh, my, you're a bit restless.
You all have strong wills, don't you?
**[03:37] Northdin**
I have to recast Charm, or you won't be stable.
**[03:40] Northdin**
Especially you.
**[03:43] Northdin**
But restlessness is fun, too.
**[03:48] Northdin**
I need to show my love to the new
angels who have arrived, too!
**[03:52] Northdin**
Now, come here!
**[03:54] Draluc**
The angels have arrived!
**[03:57] Northdin**
What?!
**[03:59] Northdin**
I told them not to let any men through.
**[04:01] Ronaldo**
Since we were dressed like this,
the girls let us in!
**[04:04] Draluc**
What you said about how you'd go
for *any* woman has backfired!
**[04:09] Ronaldo**
Come quietly or else, long nosehair man!
**[04:12] Shot**
In the name of the moon, Full Moon Style--!
**[04:16] Northdin**
Youngster who knows no fear,
you are like a beautiful buck.
**[04:23] Satetsu/Ronaldo**
Shot!
**[04:24] Northdin**
I can use it on men, too.
I just don't want to.
**[04:29] Northdin**
Little buck, now you will go up against--
**[04:34] Darluc**
Hypnosis and Charm are delicate.
Right, *Mister* Northdin?
**[04:39] Draluc**
It won't work, for example--
**[04:43] Shot**
If I'm already hypnotized!
**[04:45] Micro Bikini**
Under the influence of someone else!
**[04:47] Medoki**
Do you get it?
**[04:48] Shoka**
We all crossdressed and have bikinis on.
**[04:50] Satetsu**
Well, bikinis are also crossdressing...
**[04:52] Ronaldo**
Your sweet words won't have any effect on us!
**[04:56] Draluc**
No one will wait on you, Northdin!
**[04:59] Northdin**
You've got to be kidding me, apprentice.
That sight is enough to make me sick.
**[05:03] Draluc**
Be quiet. I'll do anything to defeat you!
**[05:06] Micro Bikini**
I'll free the women with my bikinis, too!
**[05:10] Micro Bikini**
Now, into my bikini...
**[05:14] Ronaldo**
Bikini!
**[05:16] Northdin**
Of course. By the same logic, that two-bit
hypnosis won't work on my angels.
**[05:23] Northdin**
It just makes me happy.
**[05:27] Northdin**
Oh, brave girls who would
fight lions to protect me...
**[05:32] Northdin**
Surely you wouldn't hurt them,
would you, hunter gentlemen?
**[05:37] Ronaldo**
Stop, Maria!
**[05:39] Shot**
Damn it...
**[05:43] Nudenium**
Take my seed.
Return to your senses with this.
**[05:46] Shot/Ronaldo**
Don't make her take that!
**[05:48] Ta Chan**
What in the world have I...?
**[05:50] Shot/Ronaldo**
No way...!
**[05:51] Shot**
Shock therapy?! Is it really a cure-all?!
**[05:54] Roanldo**
Anyway, it worked! If they take those,
that guy's Charm will be broken!
**[05:58] Satetsu**
Is it safe, though?!
**[06:01] Draluc**
Game over, North.
**[06:04] Draluc**
I win.
**[06:05] Ronaldo**
This isn't really the time to be triumphant!
**[06:11] Northdin**
Let's decide whether you win
or not by fighting directly.
**[06:17] Draluc**
D-Don't underestimate me, Northdin!
**[06:21] Draluc**
I told you! If it's to defeat you,
I'll do anything!
**[06:27] Northdin**
What?!
**[06:29] Northdin**
I can't believe you would do all
that just to escape my Charm...
**[06:33] Northdin**
Draluc, with this,
**[06:37] Northdin**
you're a weak man whose defenses
have gone down after getting naked.
**[06:43] Draluc**
Wait, I'm a pacifist!
**[06:44] Draluc**
This is cowardly! Let's decide
this with rock-paper-scissors--
**[06:54] Hinaichi**
Wee!
**[06:56] Hinaichi**
Vampire!
**[06:59] Hinaichi**
You're the one seducing women and
sucking their blood, aren't you?!
**[07:03] Hinaichi**
With a sudden kiss, acting like Draluc--
**[07:06] Hinaichi**
Come quietly to the station!
**[07:09] Hinaichi**
Huh? Why am I at the guild?
**[07:14] Woman**
Huh?
**[07:14] Woman**
Where am I?
**[07:15] Passionate Kiss**
Handsome...
**[07:17] Maria**
What was I...?
**[07:23] Master**
I won't let you do that.
**[07:24] Senya**
It's time for your long-awaited costume change!
**[07:28] Northdin**
Let go, you--
**[07:30] Senya**
Stop, stay still.
**[07:31] Draluc**
Go! Over there! Give him a high-leg!
**[07:35] Senya**
Oh, my!
**[07:38] Draluc**
Wait!
**[07:40] Northdin**
It looks like it is time for me to leave you.
**[07:43] Northdin**
It was fun, Draluc.
**[07:46] Draluc**
Shut up, mustache! Get down here!
Show me what's under that cape!
**[07:50] Northdin**
You've really...
**[07:53] Northdin**
You've really gotten stronger, Draluc.
**[07:58] Northdin**
Get along with the people in your town.
**[08:04] Draluc**
Anyway! We won, everyone!
**[08:09] Ronaldo**
Is this... winning?
**[08:14] Northdin**
How am I supposed to take these clothes off?!
**[08:18] Lottery Staff (Miki)**
Congratulations!
**[08:18] Sign**
"Fun Stupid Guys in Shin-Yokohama Special ver."
**[08:20] Draluc**
Tickets for two for an overnight
stay at a hot springs!
**[08:23] Draluc**
Let's go right away,
one adult and one armadillo!
**[08:27] Sagyo**
Speaking of which, where are
we going for our company trip?
**[08:30] Moegi/Handa**
--Hokkaido.
--Hawaii.
**[08:31] Hiyoshi**
Somewhere close! Close!
**[08:33] Moegi**
So, somewhere in the prefecture?
**[08:33] Sign**
"Kanagawa Prefectural Police
Vampire Control Division
Moegi"
**[08:35] Kantaro**
I'd like to invite Tsujita, too!
**[08:37] Ruri**
This is still a company outing, you know.
**[08:37] Sign**
"Kanagawa Prefectural Police
Vampire Control Division
Ruri"
**[08:39] Ruri**
Captain, we received this flyer--
**[08:42] Hiyoshi**
Oh? Hundred Peace Hot Springs?
**[08:45] Sign**
"Hundred Peace Hot Springs"
"Relax in our natural hot springs"
"Groups welcome!" "Current special plans: Hunter Discount/Vampire Discount"
**[08:46] Master**
A new pace of interest in Shin-Yoko?
**[08:48] Maria**
It's all-you-can-drink!
**[08:50] Ta Chan**
It's a good deal with the hunter discount, huh?
**[08:52] Ronaldo**
It's nice to go to hot springs once in a while!
**[08:54] Ronaldo**
All right, let's have a guild
appreciation party!
**[08:59] Sign**
"Hundred Peace Hot Springs"
**[09:02] Sign**
"Luck"
**[09:04] Hot Springs Guy**
Fools.
**[09:06] Sign**
"Vampire - Hot Springs Guy"
**[09:06] Hot Springs Guy**
The hunters are walking right into my trap!
**[09:12] Hot Springs Guy**
My telekinesis is super limited
and only works on hot springs...
**[09:16] Hot Springs Guy**
But I'll use this to defeat the hunters.
**[09:19] Hot Springs Guy**
I've worked hard to rule over Shin-Yokohama!
**[09:22] Sign**
"Hundred Peace Hot Springs"
**[09:24] Hot Springs Guy**
I'll turn them all into mineral deposits!
**[09:28] Hot Springs Guy**
The only thing that I hadn't expected...
**[09:32] Hot Springs Guy**
...was that so many people
would come at the same time!
**[09:36] Ronaldo**
Why the hell are *you* here?!
**[09:38] Draluc**
What about *you*? You're putting a damper
on me and John's fun trip!
**[09:42] Shot**
I can't believe we're here at
the same time as Vamp Control.
**[09:45] Sagyo**
I still feel like I'm at work.
**[09:49] Hot Springs Guy**
W-Well, this is a round-up to some extent,
but I didn't think they'd all come at once!
**[09:55] Hot Springs Guy**
But if I miss this chance, these busy modern
people might not be back for another ten years.
**[10:00] Hot Springs Guy**
What should I do...?
They've got a dhampir, too,
**[10:03] Hot Springs Guy**
and if he notices me and they
surround me, it'll be over, damn it...
**[10:06] Nudenium**
Excuse me, can you tell me
where the main bath is?
**[10:10] Hot Springs Guy**
Oh, yes! Go to the hallway over there--
**[10:13] Hot Springs Guy**
Don't take off your clothes here!
**[10:14] Hot Springs Guy**
Oh, excuse me. Please take off
your clothes in the changing room.
**[10:19] Nudenium**
Oh, I'm usually nude, so...
**[10:22] Hot Springs Guy**
That's even worse! How did
they even let you check in?!
**[10:25] Odd Creature**
Um, excuse me!
**[10:27] Hot Springs Guy**
Yes?
**[10:28] Odd Creature's Father**
I'd like to have a sexy companion
brought to my room.
**[10:28] Sign**
"Vampires - Odd Creature Family
Father - Huge Creature
Mother - Infatuated Creature"
**[10:31] Odd Creature's Mother**
Please add a handsome pole dancer, too.
**[10:33] Hot Springs Guy**
We don't provide that kind of service!
**[10:35] Hot Springs Guy**
Don't ask for people like that
for a family trip, anyway!
**[10:38] Yakyuken Lover**
Hey, Miss! Let's play *yakyuken*!
**[10:41] Micro Bikini**
Stop that, idiot brother! You're a disgrace!
**[10:43] Transparent Lower Body**
You'll be banned right after
check-in, scum brother!
**[10:45] Ronaldo**
Why are the perverted vampires here, damn it?!
**[10:48] Yakyuken Lover**
Where else would you find
a *yakyuken* lover, idiot?!
**[10:52] Odd Creature**
I came to watch the sexy pay-per-view!
**[10:54] Ronaldo**
Go home!
**[10:56] Hot Springs Guy**
E-Even my own kind...
**[10:59] Kantaro**
Oh, this place is packed!
**[11:01] Transparent Lower Body**
It's the hot springs everyone
in Shin-Yoko's talking about!
**[11:04] Hinaichi**
What's wrong, Handa?
**[11:05] Sagyo**
It looks like the flehmen response.
**[11:07] Moegi**
It's because there are a lot of vampires here.
**[11:10] Hiyoshi**
Are you okay, Handa?
**[11:13] Hot Springs Guy**
Maybe this is my chance.
**[11:15] Hot Springs Guy**
I'll blend in with the other vampires
so the dhampir doesn't notice me!
**[11:18] Hot Springs Guy**
I'm actually lucky that a bunch
of weird guys showed up!
**[11:22] Waitress**
Springs, please bring food
to the Hanamizuki room!
**[11:26] Hot Springs Guy**
Okay!
**[11:28] Hot Springs Guy**
I've brought your meal.
**[11:31] Hot Springs Guy**
Please excuse me.
**[11:32] Fukuma**
Thank you very much.
**[11:34] Go**
Oh, the food's here! Where's Sanzu?
**[11:37] Fukuma**
She's gone to the baths.
**[11:39] Fukuma**
Please share this with the staff if you'd like.
**[11:41] Sign**
"A small gift
Autumn Special"
**[11:42] Hot Springs Guy**
Help me...
**[11:46] Ronaldo**
Shall we pull ourselves together
and go take a bath?
**[11:48] Medoki**
I hope the outdoor bath is roomy.
**[11:51] Shoka**
I'm sleepy.
**[11:52] Hot Springs Guy**
All right! This is my chance!
**[11:55] Hot Springs Guy**
They're not on guard against me
since I'm a staff member.
**[11:58] Hot Springs Guy**
While they're defenseless,
I'll attack them with the hot springs!
**[12:02] Satetsu**
I'm looking forward to dinner.
**[12:05] Hot Springs Guy**
Can you please take that off before you go in?
**[12:05] Sign**
"Main Bath"
**[12:07] Satetsu**
Huh?
**[12:08] Satetsu**
I-I'm sorry, I'm just used to it...
**[12:10] Hot Springs Guy**
You always go in with it on?! Won't it rust?!
**[12:13] Etiquette Breacher**
Big Bro Satetsu's breaking the rules!
**[12:15] Hot Springs Guy**
Hey! No filming in here! Stop!
**[12:17] Hot Springs Guy**
And what are *you* wearing?!
Take that off before you go in!
**[12:20] Micro Bikini**
Wh-What are you saying? You pervert!
**[12:22] Hot Springs Guy**
*You're* the pervert!
**[12:26] Hiyoshi**
Jeez, no matter when it is or where we are,
those guys are always so noisy.
**[12:30] Master**
It's fine to let loose for an appreciation trip.
**[12:33] Master**
We were even crazier when
we were young, remember?
**[12:37] Hiyoshi**
You were the only crazy one.
**[12:40] Senya**
Well, a quiet night chatting
with other adults like this...
**[12:46] Senya**
...is nice sometimes, too.
**[12:52] Maria**
It's nice to go to a hot springs with everyone!
**[12:55] Hinaichi**
I'm sorry we ended up crashing
the hunters' appreciation trip.
**[12:58] Ta Chan**
Don't worry about it. Just relax.
**[13:03] Hot Springs Guy**
I'll try again here.
**[13:06] Hot Springs Guy**
It's probably better to start
with the frail girls, anyway.
**[13:09] Hot Springs Guy**
There are definitely no
perverted reasons for this.
**[13:12] Hot Springs Guy**
Now, take this, hunters!
**[13:15] Hot Springs Guy**
Telekinesis: Manipulating Hot Springs!
**[13:18] Maremi**
Please excuse the intrusion.
**[13:22] Maria**
Who's there?!
**[13:24] Ta Chan**
The water moved! An enemy vampire?!
**[13:26] Hot Springs Guy**
C-Crap!
**[13:29] Hot Springs Guy**
I'll retreat for now!
**[13:30] Maria**
Wait, you bastard! I won't let you get away!
**[13:35] Handa**
You should feel the sharp pain of
getting water up your nose, Ronaldo!
**[13:38] Ronaldo**
Stop that!
**[13:40] Draluc**
His pranks tonight are pretty standard.
**[13:43] Draluc**
I thought he'd sprinkle celery
bath salts or something.
**[13:46] Handa**
Idiot! That would cause trouble
for the other guests!
**[13:51] Draluc**
You really are an upstanding citizen
as long as Ronaldo isn't involved, huh?
**[13:56] Maria**
Stop, bastard! You won't get away!
**[14:00] Maria**
Did a vampire come this way?
**[14:02] Ta Chan**
Where's he hiding?!
**[14:06] Ronaldo**
Wh-What are you doing?!
**[14:07] Shot**
This is the men's bath!
**[14:09] Maria**
This is no time to be saying that!
**[14:11] Ronaldo**
I think it *is*the **time to be saying
that to some extent!
**[14:15] Yakyuken Lover**
Hey, girls! Let's play *yakyuken*!
**[14:18] Yakyuken Lover**
*Yoyoinoyoi!*
**[14:21] Shot**
He was peeping in the women's bath?
**[14:23] Ta Chan**
Not just a pervert! He controlled water!
**[14:26] Hinaichi**
Yeah, he tried to attack us.
**[14:29] Ronaldo**
We need to find that vampire
before anyone gets hurt.
**[14:35] Ronaldo**
Let's split up and look for him.
**[14:38] Shoka**
There's something there.
**[14:42] Ronaldo**
What the hell are you doing?!
**[14:44] Passionate Kiss**
Blending in with the things that spout water
to peep at handsome men. It's a perfect plan!
**[14:50] Passionate Kiss**
Forgive me because I'm beautiful!
**[14:51] Hinaichi**
Peeping is a crime even if you're beautiful.
**[14:53] Shot**
What the hell were you spitting?!
**[14:55] Passionate Kiss**
The water I sucked up from my lower mouth.
**[14:57] Ronaldo**
Gross!
**[14:58] Hot Springs Guy**
I-I don't know what's going on,
but I'll retreat now, while I can.
**[15:03] Micro Bikini**
Hey, foolish brother...
**[15:04] Transparent Lower Body**
What were you doing?
**[15:05] Yakyuken Lover**
I still need to train more...
**[15:08] Odd Creature's Father**
A miracle... A girl's come in
from the women's bath...
**[15:12] Odd Creature**
It sounds like the title of a porn video...
**[15:17] Sanzu**
I don't know why, but I feel like
I'm missing a really juicy scene...
**[15:23] Hot Springs Guy**
At this rate, this'll just end with
them all having a fun little trip!
**[15:30] Hot Springs Guy**
Since it's come to this,
I'll have to use my last resort!
**[15:32] Hot Springs Guy**
I'll bring water into the banquet hall here
and get them all at once!
**[15:38] Hot Springs Guy**
Consider tonight your last party, hunters!
**[15:44] Ronaldo**
We were called to the banquet hall,
but do you know why?
**[15:48] Draluc**
I thought our meals would be
brought to our rooms...
**[15:50] Satetsu**
Maybe we're being reprimanded
for the commotion earlier.
**[15:55] Ronaldo**
Hm? Vamp Control's here, too?
**[15:58] Handa**
You, too, Ronaldo?
**[16:02] Hot Springs Guy**
You all gathered here unconcernedly
without noticing anything, huh?
**[16:06] Hot Springs Guy**
Now! You should all prepare yourselves!
**[16:10] Hot Springs Guy**
I brought you all here for *this*!
**[16:22] Hot Springs Guy**
Wait a minute!
**[16:26] Fukuma**
The water started moving all of a sudden,
**[16:28] Fukuma**
so I stopped it with the
Autumn-Style Qigong Technique.
**[16:31] Go**
Thank you!
**[16:35] Sagyo**
Oh, he's back.
**[16:36] Ronaldo**
Um, why did you gather us all here?
**[16:40] Hot Springs Guy**
Um... uh, well...
I gathered you all... um...
**[16:48] Hot Springs Guy**
To take a picture!
**[16:52] Draluc**
Cheese!
**[16:57] Ronaldo**
Jeez, thanks to that guy, it was like
we were in Lewd Talk's hell picture scroll...
**[17:03] Ronaldo**
But, John, it was amazing that you got
this kotatsu table during bingo. Good job!
**[17:09] Draluc**
Speaking of which, what was that song again?
**[17:12] Draluc**
The one that goes
"I open the creaky door gently"...
**[17:16] Roanldo**
Huh?
**[17:17] Draluc**
You know, the one Kiss sang so
passionately at the hot springs.
**[17:21] Draluc**
"I open the creaky door gently"...
**[17:24] Roanldo**
That's different from what
you sang earlier. I'll kill you.
**[17:26] Ronaldo**
John, how many points is that?
**[17:27] John**
Nu-points.
**[17:28] Draluc**
John! My John!
**[17:31] Draluc**
Oh! John! Is that in binary?!
**[17:33] Ronaldo**
There's no two in binary.
**[17:35] Sign**
"First drink free"
**[17:38] Draluc**
Let's play "Think of the name
of a crappy movie."
**[17:41] Ronaldo**
If you come up with something lame,
then I'll make soba from your ashes.
**[17:45] Draluc**
The point is to come up with something lame.
Why are you so mean today?
**[17:50] Draluc**
*Lad•der Lot•te•ry: After-School Death Game.*
**[17:53] Ronaldo**
All those dots in the middle are annoying.
**[17:55] Ronaldo**
*Horseshoe Crab vs. Mecha Horseshoe Crab.*
**[17:58] Draluc**
You think you can just do some weak "vs." title?
**[18:01] Draluc**
Your knowledge of crappy movies
is not good enough.
**[18:04] Roanldo**
That's knowledge I'll never need. I'll kill you.
**[18:07] Sign**
"A Little Love in the Alleys of New York"
**[18:10] Ronaldo**
Oh, it's one where the Japanese title
is completely different from the original.
**[18:13] Draluc**
It's pointlessly 2 hours and 10 minutes long.
**[18:16] Ronaldo**
One of those where a smiling couple
comes out without talking.
**[18:20] Draluc**
*Yoga Soccer.*
**[18:21] Ronaldo**
We're still doing this?
There's probably a bunch of cheap CG.
**[18:25] Ronaldo**
*K... Killer of Mini Tomatoes.*
**[18:27] Draluc**
Wrong. "Killer of" something
is against the rules.
**[18:30] Ronaldo**
How was I supposed to know?
Don't make up randomly strict rules!
**[18:34] Sign**
"Stand-Up People: Actions for Tomorrow"
**[18:38] Ronaldo**
I can't tell what that's about at all
from the title. That's good.
**[18:41] Draluc**
You can tell it went through the wringer
in Marketing or something.
**[18:45] Draluc**
*Around the World in a Time Machine.*
**[18:47] Ronaldo**
Yikes. So boring.
**[18:48] John**
Nu-rappy.
**[18:50] Ronaldo**
*Ninjas vs. Amazons: Explosion in Asakusa.*
**[18:55] Draluc**
I kind of want to see that. I lose.
**[18:56] Ronaldo**
Huh? What? A-Are you sad? Huh?
**[19:05] Ronaldo**
I'm going to eat this Setsubun sushi roll.
**[19:06] Draluc**
Okay, John.
**[19:07] Draluc**
Let's make him laugh when his mouth is full
and make something terrible happen.
**[19:12] Draluc**
Sand...
**[19:13] Ronaldo**
What direction am I
supposed to eat in this year?
**[19:15] Draluc**
West-southwest. That way.
**[19:17] Ronaldo**
If you make me laugh, I'll kill you.
**[19:24] Ronaldo**
All right, I finished eating it!
**[19:25] Draluc**
Just kidding! West-southwest is that way!
**[19:30] Draluc**
Sand...!
**[19:33] Draluc**
Sand!
**[19:38] Draluc**
Would you like to play "Rich Girls"?
**[19:40] Ronaldo**
Oh, my, what kind of game is that?
**[19:41] Draluc**
Oh, dear, you do understand quickly.
**[19:44] Draluc**
Whoever cannot keep this up loses, darling.
**[19:48] Ronaldo**
What a foolish contest.
My rich girl ability is around 30,000.
**[19:53] Draluc**
I think I can handle that number, darling.
**[19:56] Draluc**
For a game like this,
you must start heckling early.
**[19:59] Draluc**
Miss Ronalina, your socks smell foul.
**[20:02] Ronaldo**
Shut up. I'll bite you to death, scum darling.
**[20:04] Draluc**
Your boiling point seems low?
**[20:06] Draluc**
Mr. John, the score, if you please.
**[20:09] Ronaldo**
Oh, dear, I have no way out now!
**[20:12] Ronaldo**
I'll use these hand gestures
to recover my rich girl ability.
**[20:15] Draluc**
I'm not sure I understand what
"rich girl" means to you.
**[20:19] Sign**
"Ronaldo"
**[20:20] Draluc**
Hand gestures are okay?!
**[20:22] Sign**
"Draluc"
**[20:23] Draluc**
Oh, shoot! I lost a lot of points!
**[20:26] Draluc**
But I don't know how many points I started with,
so I cannot tell if that's a lot or not.
**[20:30] Ronaldo**
Making a fuss over there
like that will be your downfall.
**[20:34] Draluc**
You seem to have turned into
the shaman queen, Himiko.
**[20:38] Deliveryman**
Delivery from Amanun.
**[20:40] Draluc**
I won't lose!
**[20:42] Draluc**
I'll show you that I can receive
an Amanun delivery like this, darling!
**[20:45] Ronaldo**
That's nothing, darling.
I'll order a pizza like this.
**[20:49] Ronaldo**
Hello, I'd like two larges with extra-extra
meat and cheese please, darling!
**[20:54] Draluc**
Good work! I'll stamp here now, dear.
**[20:57] Deliveryman**
Thanks.
**[20:58] Ronaldo**
Will you please also embed some
cheese into the crust, please?
**[21:01] Pizza Guy (Miki)**
Sure, thanks.
**[21:03] Draluc**
It hurts the most when they ignore it...
**[21:06] Ronaldo**
Let's say I win this one.
**[21:08] Draluc**
At least make it a draw!
**[21:13] Sign**
"Boring Telepath 1000"
**[21:13] Ronaldo**
John, you can say "nuo," right?
**[21:16] John**
Nuo!
**[21:18] Ronaldo**
John, you can say "nusha nusha," right?
**[21:21] John**
Nusha nusha.
**[21:22] Ronaldo**
John, you can say "nuri," right?
**[21:25] John**
Nuri.
**[21:27] Ronaldo**
John, don't you think you can say "fanny"?
**[21:34] John**
Fanny.
**[22:02] Ronaldo**
I'm gonna fart.
**[22:08] Draluc**
Sand!