Season 2

E1 - Draluc, Friends, Almost Independent
E2 - From Tokyo to Neo-Bayside
E3 - Lovecall of Sanzu
E4 - Good Mother, Goodbye Summer
E5 - Last Stop, Ura-Shin-Yokohama
E6 - The Deadline March
E7 - Put a Sock in It!!!
E8 - Oh! Nude
E9 - Utopia BBOLAND
E10 - Little Little Concerto
E11 - Please Suggest Warming Each Other Up
E12 - Fun Stupid Guys in Shin-Yokohama Special ver.

E2 - From Tokyo to Neo-Bayside

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] ---
    Yeah, I've pretty much defeated
    all the vampires around here.
[00:06] ---
    It's a tiny town, but I hear
    they've got a lot of vampires.
[00:11] ---
    That's fine. I'll exterminate them all.
[01:49] ---
    "From Tokyo to Neo-Bayside"
[01:55] ---
    So this is Shin-Yokohama...
[01:58] ---
    My new battlefield.
[02:08] ---
    Who's that?
[02:09] ---
    It's the guy from Tokyo
    they said was coming today...
[02:11] ---
    Oh, the dhampir!
[02:13] ---
    "Vampire Hunter
    Mikazuki Kagomehara"
[02:13] ---
    I'm Mikazuki Kagomehara. Nice to meet you.
[02:16] ---
    Yes, nice to meet you.
[02:19] ---
    Welcome to the Shin-Yokohama guild!
[02:21] ---
    Welcome.
[02:22] ---
    You came such a long way from Tokyo!
[02:24] ---
    We're really thankful!
[02:26] ---
    They all sound like they're trying
    to butter me up.
[02:28] ---
    It pisses me off.
[02:30] ---
    Let's do our best together!
[02:32] ---
    I didn't come here to make friends.
[02:35] ---
    I came here to exterminate
    the vampires of this town.
[02:38] ---
    And to make up for you all not doing your jobs.
[02:41] ---
    That's Tokyo for ya! You know just what to say!
[02:43] ---
    He's so passionate!
[02:45] ---
    So dependable!
[02:46] ---
    Do these guys have no pride?
[02:48] ---
    What's with this rude brat?
[02:51] ---
    You're the rude one!
[02:53] ---
    Sand...!
[02:55] ---
    You've reached the Shin-Yokohama Hunters Guild.
[02:59] ---
    Everyone, we've got a job.
[03:04] ---
    I feel the presence of
    a vampire. This way!
[03:07] ---
    "Inferior Vampire - Eight-Eyed Leech"
[03:11] ---
    This prey's not bad.
[03:13] ---
    Get back!
[03:17] ---
    Pseudo-Kagomehara Style, Armed Deployment!
[03:22] ---
    Sword-Drawing Technique 1, Tsukuyomi!
[03:30] ---
    Shoka! Just now, Mikazuki tried to do
    some kind of ultimate move, didn't he?!
[03:35] ---
    Isn't that unnecessary for small fry?
[03:36] ---
    Hey, what's "armed deployment"?
[03:38] ---
    Idiot, shut up!
[03:40] ---
    Does yelling making you stronger or something?
[03:42] ---
    I told you to stop!
[03:44] ---
    "Inferior Vampire
    Shin-Yoko Galapagos Finch"
[03:47] ---
    Fresh troops?!
[03:48] ---
    Armed Deployment!
[03:52] ---
    Wh-What are they?!
[03:54] ---
    Oh? A new vampire hunter?
[03:55] ---
    "Vampire - Nudenium"
[03:57] ---
    What's with this pervert?!
[03:59] ---
    Oh, he's a good guy, so you don't
    have to exterminate him.
[04:02] ---
    A good guy?!
[04:04] ---
    Isn't it a wonderful night, Hunters?
[04:06] ---
    What are you doing, Old Man Nude?
[04:08] ---
    I came to distribute baby Nudeniums
    as part of the greenery campaign.
[04:13] ---
    Even if he's a good guy, if he does something
    bad, you've gotta take care of him.
[04:15] ---
    Like this!
[04:17] ---
    A superior vampire who can control plants?!
    Why is someone so dangerous--?
[04:23] ---
    Mikazuki!
[04:24] ---
    "Do Not Climb"
[04:25] ---
    "Do Not Climb"
    "Vampire - Etiquette Breacher"
[04:26] ---
    I'll embarrass you hunters!
[04:29] ---
    You bastard! I'll exterminate you!
[04:31] ---
    Armed Deploym--
[04:35] ---
    So lame!
[04:39] ---
    Didn't I tell you to stop doing stuff like that?
[04:41] ---
    You must be surprised by how
    many vampires there are here.
[04:44] ---
    It's hard coming to Shin-Yoko
    after being in Tokyo.
[04:46] ---
    And all we get are these
    weird superior vampires.
[04:50] ---
    The vampire sealed inside Tokoya
    Shrine is drawing them here.
[04:53] ---
    Don't feed him rumors!
[04:55] ---
    It's true that we need help
    because we never get anyone new.
[04:57] ---
    So we're really happy that you're here.
[05:02] ---
    That's right! So cheer up, okay?
[05:05] ---
    These guys...
[05:06] ---
    They think I'm a pleasant sight...
[05:09] ---
    They're looking at me warmly, like how people
    working for black companies look
[05:13] ---
    when they finally get a new employee...!
[05:17] ---
    Mikazuki!
[05:19] ---
    Don't underestimate me!
    I'm a first-class hunter!
[05:24] ---
    I feel the presence of a strong vampire...!
[05:29] ---
    Vampires! I will exterminate you!
SIGN    "Vampire - Transparent Lower Body" "Vampire - Micro Bikini" "Vampire - Yakyuken Lover"
[05:31] ---
    What, you a hunter?
[05:34] ---
    You've got some nerve.
[05:36] ---
    Yay!
[05:37] ---
    Armed Deploy--
[05:38] ---
    Nice to meet you! Yoyoinoyoi!
[05:42] ---
    My body just started playing
    strip rock-paper-scissors!
[05:44] ---
    And I will give you a new outfit!
[05:47] ---
    A pervert!
[05:51] ---
    I'm a good vampire,
[05:54] ---
    so I'll just take pictures and
    post them on social media.
[05:57] ---
    Stop it!
[05:58] ---
    Mikazuki!
[06:00] ---
    You idiot vampires!
    Don't bully our new hunter!
[06:04] ---
    I'll send you all flying, so line up over there!
[06:06] ---
    Sounds fun. I'll beat you at your own game.
[06:09] ---
    Humans, today's the day
    you'll surrender to my bikinis!
[06:15] ---
    Are you all right, Mikazuki?!
[06:19] ---
    I'm pathetic... I didn't know anything...
[06:24] ---
    I looked down on you all.
[06:26] ---
    On top of that, I was exposed
    so shamefully like this...
[06:31] ---
    I'm so unsightly...
[06:33] ---
    Th-That's not true!
    You did good, Mikazuki!
[06:37] ---
    We ended up in bikinis before, too.
[06:39] ---
    You're much better than Shot
    when he first got here!
[06:41] ---
    You sound like you're picking a fight, Ronaldo.
[06:46] ---
    Let's do our best together from now on, okay?
[06:55] ---
    Today, I learned of my own inexperience.
[06:59] ---
    But that's fine. I'll become stronger--
[07:02] ---
    Are you a hunter?
[07:05] ---
    Perfect timing.
    It's not my nature to end on a loss.
[07:10] ---
    If you want to fight,
    I won't hold back... vampire!
[07:13] ---
    Armed Deploy--
[07:15] ---
    You're my type!
[07:21] ---
    Hmm...
[07:23] ---
    Mikazuki said he's going back to Tokyo.
[07:26] ---
    Mikazuki!
[07:29] ---
    I can't take any more of this town.
[07:33] ---
    "Exciting Draluc Surveillance Diary"
[07:33] ---
    I am Hinaichi of the Kanagawa Prefectural
    Police Vampire Control Division.
SIGN    "Kanagawa Prefectural Police Vampire Control Division Vice-Captain Hinaichi"
[07:38] ---
    Tonight, I will continue my surveillance
    mission of the vampire, Draluc.
[07:43] ---
    Why did you come out of the floor?!
    Come in through the door, idiot!
[07:47] ---
    Because you've been making
    hiding places in the floor,
[07:49] ---
    the office floor's been rickety!
[07:52] ---
    Since I was interrupted, once again,
[07:54] ---
    I am Hinaichi of the Kanagawa Prefectural
    Police Vampire Control Division.
[07:56] ---
    Hey, listen!
[07:58] ---
    Now, I will begin my mission to conduct
    surveillance on the vampire, Draluc.
[08:03] ---
    Vampires sleep in coffins during
    the day and awaken at night.
[08:08] ---
    Draluc is no exception.
[08:14] ---
    It's a wonderful evening, isn't it, Miss?
[08:18] ---
    Were you waiting for me to awaken?
[08:21] ---
    If you're baring the nape of your
    neck for me to break my fas--
[08:23] ---
    The room's so cold! Sand!
[08:27] ---
    The remote! The remote!
    The remote! The remote!
[08:34] ---
    This is the object of my surveillance,
    the vampire, Draluc.
[08:37] ---
    He dies at every little thing and turns to dust.
[08:41] ---
    He's the weakest vampire in the world.
[08:44] ---
    Oh, dear.
[08:46] ---
    Why am I surveilling someone like that?
    Please don't ask.
[08:50] ---
    Help me, Ronaldo!
[08:53] ---
    My pets have turned into vampires.
[08:55] ---
    Do something about it.
[08:56] ---
    Very well! I, the vampire, Draluc,
    will use Ronaldo to take on that job!
[09:02] ---
    Really?!
[09:03] ---
    Thanks!
[09:05] ---
    If Draluc thinks something sounds interesting,
    he will meddle, even if it's hunter work.
[09:10] ---
    These are Hercules beetle larvae.
[09:13] ---
    Did they all turn into vampires?!
[09:15] ---
    It looks like some haven't.
[09:17] ---
    I dunno.
[09:18] ---
    Sort through them for us.
[09:19] ---
    It's not like sorting aluminum and steel cans!
[09:21] ---
    I have a game I must play,
    so I'll take my leave--
[09:24] ---
    Damn you, scum!
[09:25] ---
    Okay, I'll come back and get them tomorrow!
[09:27] ---
    --Later!
    --See ya!
[09:28] ---
    Wait a minute, you damn kids!
[09:31] ---
    Now, what shall I do while Ronaldo
    is sifting through the grubs?
[09:36] ---
    It seems Draluc can be too hedonistic sometimes.
[09:40] ---
    I must tell him to refrain from
    actions that could invite trouble.
[09:45] ---
    I've got an apple. Shall I bake a cake?
[09:49] ---
    That sounds nice. I want some!
[09:55] ---
    It's so yummy!
[09:56] ---
    What the hell did you come here to do?!
[09:59] ---
    Damn it! This would be so much
    easier if Handa were here...
[10:05] ---
    John! That's so nice of you!
[10:11] ---
    Hello, and thanks for watching
    Shabu-Shabu Videos!
[10:14] ---
    Today, I'll play a game
    I just bought the other day.
[10:18] ---
    Even though he's a vampire
    who has lived a long time,
[10:20] ---
    Draluc has adapted well to modern life.
[10:24] ---
    "I want a 'nu' channel"
    "the armadillo's cute"
[10:27] ---
    I'm intentionally not using the target lock
    and sticking close to the enemy!
[10:30] ---
    My best chance to attack
    comes after the dodge roll!
[10:33] ---
    What is he talking about?
[10:35] ---
    Sometimes I feel like he's adapted too well.
[10:38] ---
    Hinaichi, you try, too.
[10:41] ---
    I don't really know what I'm doing!
SIGN    "My little Dra-Dra..." "I won't allow it" "you're married?" "my precious little Dra-Dra" "you died after that"
SIGN    "lets set this on fire" "completely inexcusable" "sinner dra-dra" "let's burn this" "I won't watch your streams anymore!"
SIGN    "Goodbye little Dra-Dra" "count your sins" "I won't forgive you even if you cry" "don't make him cry" "John stream next week"
[10:45] ---
    Oh, no! They're angry now!
[10:48] ---
    Sand...
[10:49] ---
    John, put out the fire!
[10:52] ---
    "Nu"
    "Nu"
    "Nu" "Nu"
[10:55] ---
    Now, Shabu-viewers, bye-bye!
[11:02] ---
    Draluc, you...
[11:04] ---
    ...aren't like a vampire at all, huh?
[11:07] ---
    Sand...
[11:10] ---
    Oh, dear. Human foolishness is irredeemable!
[11:14] ---
    Very well! I'll show you how vampire-like I am
    and sear the image into your mind!
[11:20] ---
    He's in kind of a weird mood now.
[11:23] ---
    First, I can resurrect immediately after I die!
[11:26] ---
    But then you'll die again right away.
[11:28] ---
    And look at these sharp fangs!
[11:30] ---
    I've never seen you use them.
[11:32] ---
    And these pointy ears! If I try
    really hard, I can move them a little.
[11:38] ---
    "Vampire"
[11:38] ---
    "Vampire-like characteristics"...
[11:46] ---
    Here's your proof!
    This is what vampires are like!
[11:49] ---
    "Transform"
    "Fly"
    "Suck Blood" "Tsujigiri" "Lewd Talk" "Other"
[11:50] ---
    They transform! Fly! Suck blood!
[11:53] ---
    First, I'll transform into a bat! Here!
[11:57] ---
    One more!
[11:59] ---
    Never give up!
[12:00] ---
    Is this hell?
[12:01] ---
    And then, flying!
[12:03] ---
    Don't give in to your despair!
[12:05] ---
    "Old-Man-Legs Ostrich"
[12:11] ---
    Somehow, I got away with just a fatal injury.
[12:14] ---
    I'm sorry, okay?
[12:17] ---
    Now, last is the long-awaited blood sucking...
[12:22] ---
    This is a Special Grade-1 AOC-certified
    bottle of lifeblood my father sent.
[12:26] ---
    I'm opening this.
[12:30] ---
    The blood is from a special
    virgin donor in her 20s
[12:30] ---
    "Luxury"
[12:32] ---
    with type B blood who went
    through a vigorous screening.
[12:36] ---
    Using an alternating-day donation
    blood collection method,
[12:37] ---
    it's a non-blended bottle that
    you rarely see these days!
[12:40] ---
    More than just the price,
[12:42] ---
    it's a special product that hardly
    ever appears on the market!
[12:44] ---
    And I'm opening it!
    Even though it's not even my birthday!
[12:48] ---
    You don't have to open it if you don't want to.
[12:50] ---
    I've already decided!
[12:52] ---
    I'll show you I can suck blood like a vampire!
[12:55] ---
    You don't attack humans
    like a vampire, though, huh?
[12:58] ---
    Now! O-Open!
[13:01] ---
    O-O-Open, open!
[13:04] ---
    I'll open it for you.
[13:07] ---
    Here you go.
[13:11] ---
    I finally finished sorting them, damn it.
[13:16] ---
    Sand...
[13:18] ---
    Oh, sorry, Draluc!
[13:21] ---
    Painful, but delicious!
[13:22] ---
    You little-- Hey, the room's
    gonna smell like blood--
[13:27] ---
    Get away, you inferior vampires!
    This is mine--!
[13:31] ---
    Oh, sand...!
[13:32] ---
    Draluc!
[13:42] ---
    My name is Herakuro Kingdom!
[13:44] ---
    "Vampiric Beetle Colony King
    Herakuro Kingdom"
[13:46] ---
    Humans...!
[13:51] ---
    Vampires are supernatural beings.
[13:54] ---
    They can be threatened
    by even the smallest things.
[13:58] ---
    I fight to defend against those threats.
[14:01] ---
    Help me clean!
[14:03] ---
    Oh, my. That was rough.
[14:07] ---
    Shall I bake some cookies as a diversion?
[14:10] ---
    Would you like some, Hinaichi?
[14:13] ---
    Yes, please!
[14:15] ---
    "Shin-Yokohama Police Station"
[14:15] ---
    And so... the cookies were delicious!
[14:20] ---
    Don't let the cookies
    overwrite all your memories.
[14:23] ---
    "Vampiric"
[14:23] ---
    And here's a souvenir.
[14:25] ---
    No thanks!
[14:27] ---
    I like donuts, too!
[14:30] ---

    "Closed Today"
    "Ronaldo Vampire Hunter Agency"
SIGN    "Quest of Soul Gate: Investigators of the Soul" "Closed Today" "Ronaldo Vampire Hunter Agency"
[14:31] ---
    Ronaldo's out shopping today, so he's not here!
[14:36] ---
    Right now, this is my castle.
[14:38] ---
    Speaking of which, today's a full moon, John.
[14:41] ---
    Moon viewing while playing
    video games is fun, too.
[14:45] ---
    Mr. Fukuma?! Sand...
[14:48] ---
    Excuse me for coming so late at night.
[14:51] ---
    Ronaldo isn't home! You should hurry
    if you want to catch him!
[14:54] ---
    No, I'm here for you today, Draluc.
[14:57] ---
    Me?
[14:58] ---
    Draluc, will you try writing a game review?
[15:03] ---
    I heard that you know a lot about games.
[15:07] ---
    I'd like to ask you to write a review for
    a new project for our gaming magazine.
[15:11] ---
    As expected of Mr. Fukuma!
    You have a discerning eye!
[15:13] ---
    I'll write the best review you've ever seen.
[15:16] ---
    Thank you very much.
[15:17] ---
    The game we'd like you to review
    is called Quest of Soul Gate--
[15:22] ---
    Oh? Do you know it?
[15:24] ---
    W-Well, um...
[15:26] ---
    Of course I know it!
[15:28] ---
    It's an infamous ultra-shitty game
    said to rot your brain in five minutes!
[15:33] ---
    D-Did you choose this game, Mr. Fukuma?
[15:36] ---
    No. It was recommended
    by the editor-in-chief.
[15:39] ---
    Sand...!
[15:41] ---
    V-Very well. I will contact
    you once I finish it--
[15:44] ---
    Editor-in-Chief, I'm working on the game
    project, so I won't be back to the office today.
[15:49] ---
    What?!
[15:51] ---
    I'm embarrassed to admit this,
    but I don't often play video games.
[15:55] ---
    Please allow me to watch for future reference.
[15:58] ---
    This is bad. If I disparage this game, I will be
    disparaging the editor-in-chief's choice!
[16:03] ---
    That is to say, I'll be making enemies out of
    a group of people armed with battle axes!
[16:08] ---
    No matter how shitty this game is,
    my only choice is to praise its socks off!
[16:12] ---
    I'm looking forward to seeing
    what kind of game this is...
[16:25] ---
    First shitty element: A load time long enough
    for you to go to the bathroom.
[16:29] ---
    What are we waiting for?
[16:31] ---
    This is the time to train your spirit!
[16:33] ---
    It's a wonderful system that allows you
    to foster patience before you start playing!
[16:38] ---
    It reminds me of our New
    Employee Training Program.
[16:41] ---
    We were locked in a dark
    and silent room for three days.
[16:44] ---
    Only those who could stay calm through
    that were worthy of becoming editors.
[16:50] ---
    What a profound game this is
    that it even includes training.
[16:52] ---
    Y-Yes...
[16:54] ---
    Hurry up and come home, Ronaldo!
    Come act as an intermediary!
[16:58] ---
    Oh, the load--I mean, training time is over.
[17:02] ---
    The quest soul gate is opening now! Wow!
[17:05] ---
    Second shitty element:
    Volume control is rough!
[17:09] ---
    Oh, it's too loud! Sand...
[17:11] ---
    Excuse me, what did you say?
[17:14] ---
    An explosion of sound that creates
    a sense of realism!
[17:16] ---
    This audio clipping is the perfect spice!
[17:18] ---
    Incidentally, what kind of story
    does this game have?
[17:22] ---
    Oh, I think the summary was in the booklet.
[17:27] ---
    Third shitty element: A story that sounds like
    it was written by a third grader.
[17:33] ---
    It appears to be the story of the main character
    exploring a Western-style house.
[17:36] ---
    So simple.
[17:38] ---
    Oh, we're finally in the main story.
    Apparently, this is the main character.
[17:43] ---
    Fourth shitty element: The main character looks
    completely different from the packaging.
[17:49] ---
    Th-The philosophical character design that
    brings to mind modern art is wonderful.
[17:53] ---
    I see. It's very avant-garde.
[17:56] ---
    These jerky movements!
[17:59] ---
    That's a unique way of walking.
[18:00] ---
    Th-The unique handling shows how
    original it is down to the very system!
[18:09] ---
    You die irrationally easily!
[18:12] ---
    That's right! You never know when
    the flame of life will be extinguished!
[18:17] ---
    It's so realistic!
[18:19] ---
    You look like you're dying, too.
[18:21] ---
    Excuse me. I'm empathizing too much.
    I'll pull myself back together and--
[18:25] ---
    The quest soul gate is opening now! Wow!
[18:28] ---
    Why is this shitty game starting
    again from the beginning?!
[18:33] ---
    It leaves a stronger impression
    by repeating the same footage.
[18:36] ---
    In music, it's called a refrain!
[18:38] ---
    Once it's "game over,"
    you'll understand its worth!
[18:43] ---
    Building on the experience
    from earlier and moving on...
[18:51] ---
    The quest soul gate is opening now! Wow!
[18:53] ---
    Oh, damn it!
[18:57] ---
    Please excuse me. It seems I lacked focus.
[19:00] ---
    Draluc.
[19:01] ---
    Yes?
[19:02] ---
    Is it that you actually think
    this game is boring?
[19:05] ---
    What?! Of course not, I would never!
[19:08] ---
    Since you're making mistakes,
[19:10] ---
    I thought it might be because
    you aren't engrossed in the game.
[19:12] ---
    N-No... I-It's just...
[19:20] ---
    It's just that I was distracted
    trying to review it.
[19:24] ---
    An instant-death trap that can't be
    distinguished from the background!
[19:27] ---
    A surprising trick to keep
    players on their toes!
[19:30] ---
    Unfair death on first play!
[19:33] ---
    A wake-up call to the tepid games made
    in recent years! A pioneer for a new era!
[19:39] ---
    This is...!
[19:40] ---

    "I love you, Sword" "That's fate"
[19:40] ---
    The same graphic used for all the characters.
[19:42] ---
    And if you don't talk to them in
    the right order, you'll get confused!
[19:45] ---
    "It's dangerous there" "Kill the enemy" "Hey"
    "I love you, Sword" "That's fate"
[19:46] ---
    A sharp game balance that doesn't
    allow you to play carelessly!
[19:50] ---
    "It's dangerous there" "Kill the enemy" "Hey"
    "I love you, Sword" "That's fate"
[19:52] ---
    Frequently occurring freezes!
[19:54] ---
    It's all right. You're just
    a little tired, right?
[19:57] ---
    You should still have the spirit
    to stand up again!
[20:03] ---
    Finally!
[20:05] ---
    I've reached the boss.
[20:07] ---
    You play wonderfully, Draluc.
[20:11] ---
    Once this door is opened, the final event--
[20:15] ---
    "Please enter text here"
[20:17] ---
    Gigaton-sized shitty element:
    Incomplete final event.
[20:25] ---
    Draluc?
[20:27] ---
    Mr. Fukuma.
[20:29] ---
    I have finally understood
    the message of this game.
[20:33] ---
    Namely, that there is no such thing as
    completely finishing something in this world!
[20:38] ---
    The cheap goals you show other people
    are nothing more than illusions!
[20:42] ---
    There may come a day when you must
    face inequity, embrace sadness,
[20:45] ---
    and fall to your knees in front of
    a wall you can't do anything about.
[20:49] ---
    But even so, our path continues!
[20:52] ---
    It can be sophistry or lies!
    Find meaning in setbacks and despair--!
[20:57] ---
    Shut up, Dra--!
[21:00] ---
    M-Mr. Fukuma, why are you here?
[21:02] ---
    I turned in my manuscript already, didn't I?
[21:05] ---
    I'm here today on a job for our game magazine.
[21:08] ---
    It's for a new project proposed
    by the editor-in-chief:
[21:10] ---
    "Ultra-Shitty Game Reviews."
[21:12] ---
    I came for Draluc.
[21:14] ---
    Ultra-Shitty Game Reviews...
    Ultra-Shitty Game Reviews...
[21:18] ---
    Ultra-Shitty Game... Reviews...
[21:22] ---
    Th-That sounds like another crazy project...
[21:24] ---
    Sand!
[21:31] ---
    Not bad for an amateur, I guess.
[21:35] ---
    Yes, yes, thanks for your compliment.
[21:39] ---
    Yes, hello, hello?
[21:41] ---
    This is Fukuma.
[21:42] ---
    Your review was very well-received.
[21:45] ---
    O-Oh, I'm glad to hear it.
[21:48] ---
    Now, about the next "Shitty Game" deadline...
[21:53] ---
    The quest gate is openi--
[23:25] ---
    "Many challenges"
[23:28] ---
    "Insatiable ambition"
[23:31] ---
    Shall I lend you a hand, Miss?
[23:36] ---
    The vampire dies in no time.
[23:39] ---

[23:41] ---

E3 - Lovecall of Sanzu

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] ---
    "Autumn Books"
[00:03] ---
    "Editors' Meeting in Progress"
[00:09] ---
    "Autumn Books Editor - Sanzu"
[00:30] ---
    "Autumn Books Editor-in-Chief - Go"
[00:31] ---
    Match! The winner is Fukuma!
[00:33] ---
    "Autumn Books Credo:
    Sell three hundred million copies
    of the first edition"
[00:34] ---
    So, Fukuma will remain editor in charge of
    The Ronaldo Chronicles for the present term.
[00:38] ---
    I'm much obliged.
[00:42] ---
    As expected, I didn't
    stand a chance in the duel.
[00:46] ---
    Even so...
[00:48] ---
    I'm the one who will be in charge
    of The Ronaldo Chronicles!
[02:25] ---
    And so, I have come to Shin-Yokohama!
[02:29] ---
    If I can't win at the editors' meeting,
[02:31] ---
    then I just have to get the author
    himself to ask to switch to me.
[02:35] ---
    Come here!
[02:36] ---
    Just you watch, Fukuma!
    With this, The War Chronicles of Rona--?
[02:39] ---
    Huh? Are you a client?
[02:44] ---
    Ronaldo...!
[02:45] ---
    Huh?!
[02:50] ---
    It's R-R-R-R-R-Ronaldo!
[02:52] ---
    Ronaldo in the flesh! Right in front of my eyes!
[02:54] ---
    --The way you moved just now...
    Are you all right?!
    --He's so cool!
[02:57] ---
    It's been a number of years since
    I started following Ronaldo's work.
[03:00] ---
    After I found out on his blog that he'd
    be publishing an autobiographical novel,
[03:02] ---
    I joined Autumn Books.
[03:04] ---
    This is the only place for me!
[03:07] ---
    But no thanks to that super strong,
    super evil bastard, Fukuma,
[03:10] ---
    I haven't been able to take over, and I'm
    left grinding my teeth every day in anger.
[03:13] ---
    But if I can get him to cut ties with Fukuma,
[03:15] ---
    then I can finally be the editor in charge
    of Ronaldo, whom I admire so much!
[03:17] ---
    R-R-Ronaldo...
[03:19] ---
    Y-Yes?
[03:20] ---
    Will you do it with me?
[03:21] ---
    Do what?!
[03:22] ---
    I'll put you in gently!
    I'll definitely make you big!
[03:27] ---
    Wait! Wait just a minute!
[03:29] ---
    C-Calm down!
[03:30] ---
    This is our first time meeting, and we
    don't have that kind of relationship...!
[03:34] ---
    I'm being rude to Ronaldo...!
[03:37] ---
    Please scold me.
[03:38] ---
    That's too kinky for me!
[03:41] ---
    S-So, what did you need from me?
[03:44] ---
    That's all for now!
[03:46] ---
    I still don't know what you wanted!
[03:51] ---
    Why did it turn out like this?
[03:54] ---
    You appear in need of help.
    Shall I lend you a hand, Miss?
[03:58] ---
    Y-You're... the vampire, Draluc?!
[04:01] ---
    Indeed, I am.
[04:03] ---
    Are you the small fry vampire that
    first appears in volume 2, chapter 9?
[04:06] ---
    I'm so jealous you get to
    be partners with Ronaldo!
[04:08] ---
    I'll kill you!
[04:10] ---
    Please get his autograph for me!
[04:11] ---
    Come on!
[04:13] ---
    We've got another gross one like Handa.
[04:19] ---
    I see.
[04:21] ---
    In other words, you wanted to be the editor
    in charge of The Ronaldo Chronicles so badly
[04:25] ---
    that you ended up acting strangely ditzy.
[04:28] ---
    Sand...
[04:29] ---
    I'll kill you.
[04:31] ---
    All right! I'll help you.
[04:34] ---
    What?
[04:35] ---
    You don't feel any obligation toward Fukuma?
[04:38] ---
    If you're a better editor,
    then it would help Ronaldo, too.
[04:43] ---
    You...
[04:45] ---
    If that'll result in a better book,
    then I'll spare no effort!
[04:49] ---
    I'm not doing this for your
    entertainment, damn it!
[04:53] ---
    Now, to help with your nerves...
[04:57] ---
    ...put that earpiece on and go in!
    I'll tell you what to say!
[05:01] ---
    Seems fishy!
[05:02] ---
    It's fine, trust me.
[05:05] ---
    Fine...
[05:08] ---
    First, start over from the greeting!
[05:12] ---
    S-Sorry about earlier...
[05:14] ---
    Oh, um, hello...
[05:15] ---
    M-My name is Sanzu, and I'm from Autumn Books.
[05:18] ---
    Oh, you're from Autumn Books?
    You should've said that from the start.
[05:23] ---
    Okay, good.
[05:24] ---
    So, what did you need from me?
[05:26] ---
    Together... Let's work on...
    The Ronaldo Chronicles...
[05:30] ---
    Please be with me... The Ronaldo
    Chronicles and me... with me...
[05:33] ---
    Please form a union with me!
[05:35] ---
    Idiot...!
[05:37] ---
    "A union"?! Is that something dirty?!
[05:39] ---
    No, that's not it...
[05:41] ---
    She must mean this!
[05:46] ---
    I still want to stay me!
[05:48] ---
    Yes, you're lucky Ronaldo is also an idiot.
[05:51] ---
    That's not it! I was trying to say,
    "Let's work together"!
[05:54] ---
    No, the problem is that
    you're a little too direct.
[05:58] ---
    Instead of asking right away, you should
    make him like you first, don't you think?
[06:01] ---
    First, casually compliment Ronaldo.
    He's weak to flattery. It'll be easy.
[06:09] ---
    Rona-- Ronaldo!
[06:10] ---
    Y-Yes?!
[06:11] ---
    You're an amazing writer!
[06:14] ---
    Huh? Th-Thank you...
[06:17] ---
    Being able to blow off deadlines
    like they're nothing--
[06:19] ---
    You're as bold as a master writer!
[06:21] ---
    Oh, a body blow!
[06:23] ---
    Being late every time isn't something
    people can do normally!
[06:27] ---
    It's proof that you're a big shot!
[06:29] ---
    And stomping to rub salt in the wound!
[06:33] ---
    Don't you think she did a wonderful job
    driving back her opponent, John?
[06:36] ---
    What?! Oh, no, Ronaldo...!
[06:40] ---
    No, it is as you say.
[06:43] ---
    I'm only able to get by somehow
    thanks to Mr. Fukuma.
[06:49] ---
    Without Mr. Fukuma,
    I wouldn't be writing anymore.
[06:55] ---
    Mr. Fukuma has really taken
    such good care of me...
[07:02] ---
    Ronaldo explodes with a series of counters!
[07:07] ---
    Time out...
[07:10] ---
    Sand!
[07:11] ---
    Ronaldo trusts Mr. Fukuma more than I expected.
[07:15] ---
    Why?! Fukuma's a super strong, super evil,
    underhanded scum bastard!
[07:19] ---
    Hmm, why don't you try bringing that up, then?
[07:22] ---
    Huh? What do you mean?
[07:24] ---
    Even Ronaldo should feel some
    frustration toward Mr. Fukuma.
[07:28] ---
    Don't you think griping about him together
    will make him like you more?
[07:32] ---
    I-I see!
[07:35] ---
    Thank you for allowing me the time out.
[07:36] ---
    Oh, it's fine.
[07:37] ---
    B-But it must be tough for you, Ronaldo.
[07:40] ---
    You know, because Mr. Fukuma's so extreme...
[07:43] ---
    It's true that he can be extreme.
[07:45] ---
    He's ripped my clothes to shreds
    with his battle-axe before...
[07:50] ---
    He bit!
[07:51] ---
    Right? He always gets me with his axe,
    too, so I'm like, "I'm gonna kill you"!
[07:55] ---
    And on his desk, he's got like this shrine
    of cats, which is basically pagan worship,
[07:59] ---
    and for waterfall rituals he always enters
    with his left elbow, which I don't get.
[08:02] ---
    Like, who does that, right?
[08:05] ---
    Miss Sanzu.
[08:05] ---
    Yes?
[08:08] ---
    You're really close to Mr. Fukuma, aren't you?
[08:13] ---
    T-T-T-Time out...
[08:18] ---
    Hmm, Ronaldo's dense, too.
    All right! Time for our trump card.
[08:21] ---
    Operation: Aim for His Heart!
[08:25] ---
    Ronaldo is so unpopular with
    girls it surprises even me.
[08:28] ---
    If you just approach him a little,
    he should be putty in your hands. Now, go!
[08:35] ---
    R-Ronaldo!
[08:37] ---
    Oh, my foot slipped!
[08:40] ---
    Now!
[08:45] ---
    Northern Lights Suplex!
[08:51] ---
    Oh, I'm so sorry! That was an accident!
[08:53] ---
    I-It's fine...
[08:55] ---
    And Ronaldo's down!
[08:57] ---
    One... Two...
[08:59] ---
    Th-- Sand!
[09:02] ---
    I thought something was weird!
    It was your hand in it, scum idiot sand!
[09:06] ---
    I'm sorry, Miss Sanzu.
[09:08] ---
    Oh, no, I just...
[09:11] ---
    You came to support Mr. Fukuma, right?
[09:13] ---
    Why'd it end up like that?!
[09:16] ---
    I didn't know Mr. Fukuma had
    a junior he was so close to.
[09:19] ---
    You said all that stuff about my
    deadlines to fire me up, right?
[09:23] ---
    And the wrestling move was for me to use
    as reference for the action scenes, right?
[09:27] ---
    That's stretching it a bit too far!
[09:29] ---
    Th... That's not it...
[09:32] ---
    I... um...
[09:37] ---
    Ronaldo! Will you--?
[09:40] ---
    Thanks for your hard work, Sanzu.
[09:43] ---
    Your support and consideration make me so happy.
[09:49] ---
    D-Don't tell me... from the start...
[09:52] ---
    Did it help with your action scenes?
[09:54] ---
    Yeah, it was very effective.
[09:56] ---
    Thank you for taking care of my junior.
[09:58] ---
    Oh, I didn't do that much.
[10:00] ---
    Sand! Shining Wizard!
[10:06] ---
    I finally appeared in the anime!
[10:10] ---
    Hello, everyone. I'm Sagyo
    from the Vampire Control Division.
[10:10] ---
    "Do Your Best, Sagyo"
[10:11] ---
    "Do Your Best, Sagyo"
    "Kanagawa Prefectural Police
    Vampire Control Division - Sagyo"
[10:14] ---
    Everyone knows who I am by now, right?
[10:14] ---
    "My name is Sagyo."
[10:16] ---
    "My name is Sagyo."
    "You haven't forgotten, have you?"
[10:17] ---
    "My name is Sagyo."
    "You haven't forgotten, have you?"
    "I'm Sagyo."
[10:19] ---
    Our duty is to protect the public
    and their way of life.
[10:22] ---
    Our various members resolve problems every day!
[10:26] ---
    I'm still new at this, but I'll do
    my best to catch up to my seniors.
[10:30] ---
    Now, I'll do my best today, too!
[10:35] ---
    How's that, Ronaldo?!
    You can't do a thing against me!
[10:39] ---
    What's wrong? Aren't you coming in, Sagyo?
[10:41] ---
    This is one of my seniors, Tou Handa.
[10:44] ---
    He's a talented dhampir,
[10:46] ---
    but more than that, he messes up
    a lot and causes trouble.
[10:50] ---
    Hurry up and come in and start working.
[10:51] ---
    What were you doing at work?
[10:54] ---
    I was punching a Ronaldo-shaped punching bag.
[10:56] ---
    I meant that you should be working, idiot!
[10:58] ---
    I already took care of my usual duties.
[11:01] ---
    Here are my reports, and these
    are waiting for approval.
[11:03] ---
    It's worse because he can actually
    get his work done, too...
[11:07] ---
    If it weren't for the Ronaldo stuff,
    he'd be an excellent employee.
[11:10] ---
    We're going out, Sagyo.
[11:11] ---
    Huh? Where are we going?
[11:12] ---
    There's a job I need your help with--
    an undercover investigation!
[11:17] ---
    "Ronaldo Vampire Hunter Agency"
    "Everyone welcome"
[11:18] ---
    All right!
[11:19] ---
    Now, we will commence our mission to put
    a celery fondue in Ronaldo's desk--
[11:23] ---
    I'm going home.
[11:24] ---
    I wanted to make it so that when he
    opens his desk drawer, this pops out.
[11:28] ---
    Oh, my celery!
[11:30] ---
    I brought you here to be the test subject.
[11:33] ---
    Don't bring me here for that!
    And don't involve me with your hobbies!
[11:36] ---
    This is a proper undercover investigation!
[11:39] ---
    It's under the pretext of
    investigating the vampire, Draluc.
[11:42] ---
    Idiots who are capable are scary...!
[11:45] ---
    This won't end with just the owner
    being mad when he gets back.
[11:48] ---
    Don't worry, I'll cover for you.
[11:50] ---
    You're the one who'll be in trouble!
    I'm the victim here!
[11:53] ---
    Man, today's job was weird, too.
[11:55] ---
    --People must think of you as an entertainer.
    --See, they're back!
[11:58] ---
    --Sand!
    --What should we do now...?
[12:00] ---
    He's gone!
[12:02] ---
    I never thought I'd perform
    as a vampire limbo dancer.
[12:04] ---
    We're home...
[12:05] ---
    Huh? Did I forget to turn off the ligh--
[12:07] ---
    Cele-- Ah, that stinks!
    What the celery is this?!
[12:10] ---
    Whoa, that's gross.
[12:11] ---
    Handa, show yourself!
[12:13] ---
    --I knocked over the celery in my hurry...
    --This has to be you!
[12:15] ---
    I have no choice. I'll go out there,
    tell them the truth and apologize.
[12:19] ---
    Today's the day you will not be forgiven!
[12:23] ---
    Drink it all! Drink it and then clean it up!
[12:26] ---
    Stupid Handa, stupid--
    Huh? He's not here.
[12:30] ---
    Perhaps he went out the window?
[12:31] ---
    Damn it, did he get away?!
[12:34] ---
    Oh, no! I was so surprised that I
    went into the closet by accident!
[12:37] ---
    Only burglars and perverts act like this!
[12:40] ---
    What if I go on the offensive
    and boldly walk out--?
[12:42] ---
    I was here for a little investigation.
[12:44] ---
    Oh, of course.
[12:45] ---
    Th-That won't work! I can't act
    like that airheaded Handa!
[12:49] ---
    The last thing I want is to be like him!
[12:51] ---
    Anyway, we should clean up.
    John, get a new dust cloth from the closet.
[12:56] ---
    Ronaldo, you bring over a bucket.
[12:58] ---
    Where was it again...?
[13:01] ---
    Sand!
[13:03] ---
    Huh? Something's in the closet?
[13:05] ---
    Handa!
[13:07] ---
    Handa? No way.
[13:08] ---
    Are you dumb? Only Handa would be
    stupid enough to hide in a place like that!
[13:12] ---
    Hey, it's time to pay the piper!
[13:14] ---
    Oh, no... This is no time
    to think about hurt feelings!
[13:16] ---
    --I need to talk my way out of this somehow...!
    --Get over here and clean up, stupid Handa!
[13:18] ---
    I can't believe you even threatened John!
    You won't get away with-- Handa, you-- Cel--!
[13:22] ---
    Han? Cele... Han-celery...
    The celery's alive...?
[13:26] ---
    Cele-cele-cele--!
[13:29] ---
    The celery's alive!
[13:33] ---
    Did you see that?!
    The vampiric celery's alive!
[13:36] ---
    This place is no good now...!
[13:37] ---
    Huh? Vampiric celery?
[13:40] ---
    Did I get away with it?
[13:47] ---
    What is this? An inferior vampire?
[13:50] ---
    I don't have a weapon. What should I do?
[13:53] ---
    C-Cele... Ce-cele-cele...
[13:57] ---
    "Welcome Friend"
[13:58] ---
    I've been welcomed!
[14:01] ---
    I heard it! The vampiric celery!
    It's gonna devour us! It's a death sentence!
[14:04] ---
    The closet is full of celery eggs!
[14:06] ---
    Shut up and calm down, moron.
[14:10] ---
    It's getting refreshments ready!
[14:12] ---
    I have no choice but to abandon
    this office and burn it down!
[14:15] ---
    Death and celery! Let's meet in hell!
[14:16] ---
    Calm down, moron.
[14:18] ---
    I'll go check it out, so wait to
    burn it down until after I do that.
[14:23] ---
    This is bad. It really is over now!
[14:25] ---
    Draluc!
[14:27] ---
    I'm here for today's snack--
    I mean, investigation.
[14:30] ---
    Whoa, what's going on?
[14:33] ---
    Vice-Captain Hinaichi?!
[14:35] ---
    Oh, Hinaichi. Good timing. We appear
    to have vampiric celery in our closet.
[14:39] ---
    What? Get back, Draluc.
[14:43] ---
    The vice-captain might recognize my voice.
[14:46] ---
    Please! Recognize me!
    And then cover for me!
[14:50] ---
    C-Cele-cele-cele...
[14:53] ---
    --S--
    --Celery!
[14:54] ---
    Scurry out of there right now!
[14:56] ---
    You're under arrest, celery!
[15:05] ---
    What are you doing, Sagyo?
[15:06] ---
    God...
[15:09] ---
    Oh, the guy the crab was courting.
[15:11] ---
    What?! Are you a celery sprite or something?!
[15:14] ---
    It's over... No matter how you look at it,
    I'm a deviant right now...
[15:18] ---
    I'll be known as the same type
    as Handa for the rest of my life.
[15:24] ---
    Your attitude is admirable, Sagyo!
[15:26] ---
    I'm impressed that you would go to such
    great lengths to gather information!
[15:30] ---
    Good job completing the mission for my sake!
[15:32] ---
    Handa!
[15:33] ---
    What mission?
[15:34] ---
    Handa, doing things on your own again--
[15:36] ---
    So you're the one behind this,
    stupid idiot?! That poor kid!
[15:39] ---
    --Anyway, damn it, you, damn it, Handa--
[15:41] ---
    --You've got guts, Sagyo!
    My opinion of you's improved.
    --Anyway, damn it, you, damn it, Handa--
[15:42] ---
    --You've got guts, Sagyo!
    My opinion of you's improved.
    --Drink all of the celery juice on my desk! I'm gonna send you flying! I really will!
[15:45] ---
    The way you hid was dumb, though.
[15:49] ---
    Well, it was your fault!
[15:53] ---
    John... John...
[15:54] ---
    I'm sorry. I'll pay for the window.
[15:57] ---
    Oh, um, thanks. Good work today...
[16:00] ---
    "Hobby: Popping bubble wrap"
[16:01] ---
    Pop, pop.
[16:05] ---
    "Chaosman Is Back"
[16:05] ---
    This time, I'll catch you for sure...
    Tsujigiri Nagiri!
[16:12] ---
    Damn it.
[16:13] ---
    I can't believe I've fallen so low
    that I'm living hand to mouth.
[16:13] ---
    "Vampire - Tsujigiri Nagiri"
[16:17] ---
    In the past, people would shudder
    just hearing the name "Tsujigiri."
[16:20] ---
    But now...
[16:22] ---
    Excuse me, you over there--
[16:24] ---
    Do you know anything about Tsujigiri Nagiri?
[16:27] ---
    Who the hell are you?
[16:29] ---
    Excuse me for not introducing myself.
[16:30] ---
    I am Kei Kantaro!
[16:31] ---
    "Kanagawa Prefectural Police
    Vampire Control Division
    Kei Kantaro"
[16:33] ---
    I was just assigned to the Kanagawa
    Prefectural Police Vampire Control Division!
[16:36] ---
    Be quiet! You're too loud!
[16:38] ---
    What was that about Tsujigiri?
[16:40] ---
    Right! Back when I worked at a police box,
    I ran into Tsujigiri Nagiri...
[16:47] ---
    I went on a journey to get stronger for
    my next match with him and then returned
[16:51] ---
    to Shin-Yoko as a member
    of the Vampire Division.
[16:52] ---
    Come to think of it,
    I did slash someone like that...
[16:55] ---
    "Tsujigiri Nagiri
    If you see him contact Vamp Control
    or a hunter immediately"
[16:55] ---
    I will never forget his eyes like a demon's!
[16:57] ---
    Flames poured out of his mouth!
    He shot blades from his five-meter-tall body!
[17:02] ---
    I-I wouldn't go that far...
[17:04] ---
    Guns don't work on his immortal body!
    He used blades of blood to slash right and left!
[17:08] ---
    He's the most fearsome vampire ever!
[17:11] ---
    He scoffs at hunters and Vamp Control
    as he evades their investigations.
[17:14] ---
    He's cunning and smart--
    the monster of the century!
[17:18] ---
    I'm sure his recent disappearance is just
    to sharpen his fangs--he's got a plan!
[17:22] ---
    The threat of him has not lessened one bit!
[17:25] ---
    This guy knows what he's talking about.
[17:27] ---
    As a reward, I'll give him more
    things to recollect about me.
[17:30] ---
    I'll give him new fear!
[17:33] ---
    I prepared this to capture that guy--
    an extra-large anti-vampire pile bunker!
[17:39] ---
    If I can stop him for about
    30 seconds using this, or--
[17:43] ---
    Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot to ask your name.
[17:47] ---
    It's Tsujita.
[17:48] ---
    "Pride" "Safety"
[17:48] ---
    Tsujita! If you have any information
    about Tsujigiri, please let me know!
[17:52] ---
    If that's fired into me, I'll be blown away!
    Before he figures out who I am, I need to--
[17:59] ---
    Now that you mention it,
    I've seen a man like that recently.
[18:02] ---
    Really?! Please take me to where you saw him!
[18:07] ---
    I'll cut this guy up.
[18:09] ---
    It was around here? It does seem
    like a place where he'd hide.
[18:18] ---
    What?!
[18:20] ---
    A stab-proof vest?
[18:22] ---
    Oh, no, I screwed up...
[18:24] ---
    Tsujita...
[18:26] ---
    Nagiri's appeared! Did you see him?!
[18:29] ---
    He slashed at me and then
    escaped like a strong wind!
[18:32] ---
    Was he trying to pin it on you?!
[18:34] ---
    He's so cowardly to try to pin it
    on a good citizen like you!
[18:37] ---
    That's enough. I'm losing this guy.
[18:40] ---
    I-I saw a man running that way.
[18:43] ---
    You saw him?!
[18:45] ---
    This is an important eyewitness!
[18:47] ---
    Did he come this way?!
[18:51] ---
    I don't see him anywhere.
[18:53] ---
    Did he notice we were following
    and hide somewhere?
[18:56] ---
    A place around here with lots of foot traffic
    and a lot of prey for vampires...
[19:00] ---
    Now, is Tsujigiri Nagiri in here?
[19:01] ---
    "Table-Sharing Izakaya"
[19:03] ---
    Welcome!
[19:03] ---
    I wouldn't go into a place like this!
[19:05] ---
    I'm tracing Tsujigiri
[19:07] ---
    through hundreds of my own independent
    simulations of his thought process.
[19:11] ---
    Of course, even if I end up fighting him,
    I won't let him lay a finger on you!
[19:14] ---
    Don't worry! Th--
[19:16] ---
    Two for the table in the back, coming this way!
[19:19] ---
    Oh, my, you two are so hot!
[19:19] ---
    "Mimimi Gekkoin (Maremi's younger sister)"
[19:22] ---
    Shh! Be quiet.
[19:24] ---
    We are in the middle of an undercover
    investigation into a dangerous criminal.
[19:26] ---
    Seriously? That usually means
    the criminal's super close!
[19:30] ---
    Anyway, you're really my type.
[19:33] ---
    I, Mimimi, will give it my all!
    Where do you live?
[19:35] ---
    In a building...
[19:36] ---
    Really? So you live in a fancy high-rise?
[19:39] ---
    What do you do on your days off?
    Where do you go?
[19:41] ---
    T-To the river and stuff...
[19:43] ---
    For BBQs?! I'm seriously so jelly!
[19:46] ---
    What am I doing in a place like this?
[19:49] ---
    Oh, I'm so drunk!
[19:52] ---
    Oh, dear, what a pair of handsome guys!
[19:56] ---
    Adding one more guest!
[20:01] ---
    --Why was there a hunter ther--?
[20:02] ---
    --Tsujita!
    --Why was there a hunter ther--?
[20:04] ---
    Why did you run out suddenly like that?!
[20:06] ---
    O-Oh, I saw a man who looked like Tsujigiri
    head toward that large building over here...
[20:11] ---
    What did you say?!
[20:13] ---
    That large building? The night pool!
[20:13] ---
    "Shin-Yoko Water Park"
    "Night Pool Selfies"
[20:16] ---
    "Tsuji"
[20:16] ---
    Oh, no! He'll have a sumptuous
    feast with the girls there!
[20:19] ---
    It'll turn into a bloody lake of hell!
[20:21] ---
    I wouldn't do anything like that, you idiot!
[20:24] ---
    "Stab-proof"
[20:25] ---
    I was able to buy a good swimsuit!
[20:27] ---
    But looking for a suspect in a fun place like
    this would make us stand out too much.
[20:31] ---
    --Go home.
    --I can't give up now!
[20:33] ---
    Tsujita, I'll stop the tragedy of Tsujigiri!
[20:36] ---
    In order to camouflage us during the
    investigation, please play as hard as you can!
[20:43] ---
    Look happier! Smile!
[20:46] ---
    Act like you've been wanting
    to come here so badly!
[20:50] ---
    You're too loud, high-spirited man.
    You'll get in my selfie.
[20:54] ---
    No...!
[20:59] ---
    Another likely place for him to hide
[21:00] ---
    is a place where it'd be hard to notice if he
    attacked someone and caused a ruckus.
[21:04] ---
    In other words, here!
[21:40] ---
    --Tsujita! Tsujita!
    --No...!
[21:42] ---
    So hot!
[21:45] ---
    With the help of a good citizen,
    I investigated him!
[21:49] ---
    After going to the night pool,
    we boogied the night away at a disco--
[21:49] ---
    "Report"
[21:52] ---
    What'd you say?
[23:26] ---
    "Memories with my mother"
[23:32] ---
    "Memories of my friends"
[23:35] ---
    The vampire dies in no time.
[23:39] ---

[23:41] ---

E4 - Good Mother, Goodbye Summer

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:06] ---
    "Guild Master - Gosetsu"
[00:06] ---
    I'm off then. Please take care
    of the place while I'm gone.
[00:10] ---
    "Master's Daughter - Koyuki"
[00:10] ---
    Leave it to me.
[00:14] ---
    Take care!
[00:23] ---
    I'll do my best.
[00:25] ---
    I'll get like 200,000,000 customers.
[00:28] ---
    Hey, you open?
[00:30] ---
    Yes!
[00:31] ---
    Nice night, isn't it, Miss?
[02:07] ---
    "Minding the Guild with a Suspicious Person"
[02:09] ---
    A strange person has come.
[02:11] ---
    I came to have another go at yakyuken,
    but this is convenient.
[02:15] ---
    Neither the hunters nor the guild master
    is here. It's just a girl by herself!
[02:20] ---
    On top of that, look at her!
[02:23] ---
    She'll definitely look good playing
    strip rock-paper-scissors!
[02:27] ---
    Now, Miss! Prepare yourself!
[02:30] ---
    Out! Safe! Yoyoi--
[02:32] ---
    "Camel Clutch"
[02:33] ---
    What are you doing all of a sudden?
[02:35] ---
    W-Wait! I don't mean any harm!
    I just wanted to play yakyuken.
[02:41] ---
    What's yakyuken?
[02:43] ---
    It's a game where the loser at
    rock-paper-scissors takes off their clothes--
[02:46] ---
    "Romero Special"
[02:47] ---
    I-It's going to break!
[02:48] ---
    "Cross armlock!"
[02:52] ---
    Damn it, I misunderstood the situation!
    This girl's strong!
[02:56] ---
    There's no part of her that is kind
    enough to play yakyuken.
[03:00] ---
    However, if I run now, I won't deserve
    to be called "Yakyuken Lover"!
[03:03] ---
    Oh, I was just kidding!
    I'm a hunter from the next town over.
[03:08] ---
    Hunter?
[03:09] ---
    That's right! I stopped by because
    I was curious about the Shin-Yoko guild.
[03:14] ---
    Then why were you trying to play yakyuken?
[03:16] ---
    Because I'm a hunter who loves yakyuken.
[03:19] ---
    Hey, okay, wait! Calm down... okay?
[03:24] ---
    Don't get so mad. Give me a drink!
[03:26] ---
    I can't serve alcohol to hunters.
[03:30] ---
    Then can you make me a snack?
[03:36] ---
    My hypnosis won't work if my
    opponent makes the first move.
[03:42] ---
    I'll keep pretending to be a hunter
    and wait until I can find an opening.
[03:47] ---
    It's ready.
[03:48] ---
    Oh, I wonder what it is!
[03:51] ---
    An omelet.
[03:51] ---
    What?!
[03:53] ---
    Omelets don't have sharp pointy bits like these!
[03:56] ---
    What is this? What did you make?
[03:58] ---
    An omelet...
[03:59] ---
    Look at me when you say it.
    Don't you lose confidence in what you're saying!
[04:04] ---
    You've got to be kidding me.
    Just how bad at cooking are you?!
[04:08] ---
    But if I eat this, she might
    lower her guard a little.
SIGN    "(This) isn't something that could be called an omelet, with its strange quivering and frothy texture that (is) pretty much tasteless and in places the egg? seems raw, but for some reason there's also a (deli)cate powdery aftertaste that lingers, and there are some herbs or something trying their hardest not let their flavors meld, and what's this (sh)arp thing?"
[04:22] ---
    This... is... deli... sh...
[04:29] ---
    Oh, no! Was that too forced?!
[04:32] ---
    I'm glad she made it for me, though...
[04:36] ---
    Go ahead, have as much as you'd like.
[04:38] ---
    Jesus!
[04:39] ---
    I-I'm so happy... I was really hungry...
[04:43] ---
    She's lowering her guard.
    My plan to find an opening is succeeding.
[04:50] ---
    I'll make even more food!
[04:51] ---
    Come back!
[04:53] ---
    I can't let her serve me more of this puke.
[04:57] ---
    Damn it, I'll start rock-paper-scissors
    right when she gets back.
[05:01] ---
    "Vampire - Passionate Kiss"
[05:01] ---
    Yakyuken? What are you doing
    at the hunters guild?
[05:05] ---
    I've got my eye on some prey in the back.
    Don't get in my way! Scram!
[05:09] ---
    What? What's your prey like?
    Is he my type? A hot guy with delicious blood?
[05:15] ---
    Hey, come back! There's no way
    that's what I'm after!
[05:21] ---
    Hey.
[05:23] ---
    It's a Koyuki-style spur-of-the-moment creation.
[05:26] ---
    Fried whole something.
[05:27] ---
    Kiss...!
[05:29] ---
    Please squeeze some kabosu
    on it before you eat it.
[05:31] ---
    This isn't grilled sanma!
[05:33] ---
    Masaki Okada is waving at me
    from the other side of the river...
[05:36] ---
    Isn't Masaki Okada still alive?!
[05:38] ---
    M-My stomach's easily unsettled,
    so fried foods don't agree with me...
[05:43] ---
    I'll make something easy to digest!
[05:45] ---
    Whoa! It's an infinite loop of cooking.
[05:48] ---
    Stop! Stop this hellish reincarnation cycle!
    Must change the flow of events now!
[05:52] ---
    I-I feel bad making you do
    all the cooking for me.
[05:55] ---
    I'll help with something, too.
[05:57] ---
    But you're a guest.
[05:59] ---
    It's fine, isn't it? It's not like
    there are other customers around.
[06:05] ---
    "Grape" "100% Strawberry" "Miso"
[06:05] ---
    Something easy to digest...
[06:07] ---
    I just said it without thinking, but helping
    with the cooking isn't a bad plan.
[06:12] ---
    While you're distracted by cooking,
    I can start a game of yakyuken!
[06:18] ---
    Let's make a refreshing dessert!
[06:21] ---
    First, take red bean paste
    and salted sea cucumber entrails
[06:21] ---
    "Boiled Red Beans"
    "Salted Sea Cucumber Entrails"
[06:23] ---
    and put them in the food processor.
[06:25] ---
    Don't play around with food!
    Creativity like that is shit--
[06:30] ---
    Wait, I meant "shit" in a good way.
[06:33] ---
    See, a minimalist like me loves simple things.
[06:36] ---
    Like a parfait or popsicle, just something
    you take straight out of the freezer.
[06:39] ---
    That's what I'd like to eat...
[06:42] ---
    Then I'll make a parfait.
[06:44] ---
    Step 1: Scoop ice cream into a cup.
[06:47] ---
    Step 2: Put on the toppings.
[06:49] ---
    Wait a minute.
[06:51] ---
    Did it get warped into another
    dimension between steps 1 and 2?
[06:55] ---
    Why does the parfait suddenly
    look like the flu virus?!
[06:58] ---
    Do you have poison glands
    in your hands or something?!
[07:01] ---
    I really do suck at cooking after all...
[07:04] ---
    No, that's... well,
    that's exactly the case, but...
[07:07] ---
    Wait! Comforting her now is a great chance
    to pull down her defenses all at once.
[07:12] ---
    First, try putting fruit
    and stuff on the parfait!
[07:15] ---
    --Then--
    --Why choose that?!
[07:22] ---
    "Vampiric Camel Cricket"
[07:22] ---
    Hand over that blood to me,
    the great vampiric camel cricket!
[07:26] ---
    Out! Safe! Yoyoinoyoi!
[07:29] ---
    What?!
[07:29] ---
    I'm gonna crush you to a pulp, you damn bug!
[07:33] ---
    I can't believe you forced me
    to molt! I'm so humiliated!
[07:37] ---
    Take that!
[07:39] ---
    How dare you try and steal the prey of me,
    the vampire, Yakyuken Lover!
[07:43] ---
    You're 5,000 years too early!
[07:46] ---
    Wait! It's true that I'm a vampire,
    but I'm a good vampire, innocent.
[07:49] ---
    Besides, using wrestling moves
    in the kitchen's dangerous, right?
[07:53] ---
    Thank you for saving me.
[07:55] ---
    Huh?
[07:56] ---
    It also made me happy that you
    said my food was delicious.
[08:00] ---
    Miss...
[08:02] ---
    An opening!
[08:04] ---
    Yoyoinoyoi!
[08:07] ---
    I finally got you, foolish girl!
    Now, it's time for a fun game of yakyuken!
[08:11] ---
    Here goes...
[08:14] ---
    ♪ If you're gonna play baseball ♪
[08:16] ---
    ♪ Why not try playing like this? ♪
[08:19] ---
    Out! Safe! Yoyoino--
[08:25] ---
    You're so good at rock-paper-scissors...
[08:30] ---
    Losers should leave quietly.
[08:34] ---
    Miss, see you later.
[08:42] ---
    Look, Draluc. There's something
    about your mother here.
[08:42] ---
    "Good Mother, Goodbye Summer"
[08:47] ---
    Your mother's working hard.
[08:49] ---
    So that we do not fight against them in vain.
    So that you can live happily.
[08:58] ---
    I had another nostalgic dream...
[09:01] ---
    Hm? What? The lid's so heavy!
[09:12] ---
    Wha--?
[09:13] ---
    What is this?! The body of a child
    with the mind of an adult?!
[09:17] ---
    I don't remember any dealings
    with men dressed in black!
[09:23] ---
    Anyway, it must've been a strong vampire
    if they could transform someone else.
[09:28] ---
    The most likely explanation
[09:29] ---
    is that I've been caught up in some sort
    of game Grandfather is playing.
[09:34] ---
    I've made APTX 4649.
    Do a taste test for me.
[09:38] ---
    A supercell snake in my bosom...
[09:40] ---
    I'll call Father and have him take care of it.
[09:43] ---
    Oh, but he might be a zygote
    or something right now.
[09:49] ---
    Hey, Lord D-- Huh?
[09:52] ---
    I'm sorry, I got the wrong room!
[09:54] ---
    This isn't a bathroom!
[09:56] ---
    Um, hello...
[09:58] ---
    Uh, are you Lord Dral--
    I mean, Draluc's little brother?
[10:04] ---
    That's right! I'm his little brother!
    We're 200 years apart!
[10:07] ---
    This is my chance. I'll tease the youngster!
[10:10] ---
    Really? Your dad got a bit feisty
    all of a sudden, huh?
[10:13] ---
    Um... What's your name?
[10:15] ---
    D... Dral-Two.
[10:17] ---
    That's too random! It's like how I named
    my pet turtles when I was a kid!
[10:21] ---
    Anyway, where'd Lord Dral go?!
    Leaving a young kid here like this!
[10:24] ---
    Oh, I came here on my own.
[10:26] ---
    Huh? How'd you get in?
[10:28] ---
    By teleporting...
[10:29] ---
    Really? Show me how you did it!
[10:31] ---
    Well, my lifespan gets shortened
    by five years every time I do it...
[10:34] ---
    Isn't that too big a risk?
[10:35] ---
    Just because that damn sandpile
    didn't tell me, this kid's life was--!
[10:39] ---
    Shoot! His opinion of me goes
    down no matter what I say!
[10:43] ---
    Let's talk about something more fun!
[10:46] ---
    Right, sorry.
[10:49] ---
    Hey, how does Big Brother Draluc
    help you with your work?
[10:53] ---
    Um, let's see...
[10:54] ---
    Is he capable? A genius?
    Does he make you gasp in awe?
[10:58] ---
    What's with those leading questions?
[11:00] ---
    In terms of work, well...
[11:03] ---
    He dies in no time,
[11:04] ---
    and he's self-centered
    and betrays me all the time.
[11:07] ---
    But despite that, he's impulsive,
[11:08] ---
    he doesn't look ahead and dies in no time,
    he's a damn small fry and dies in no time,
[11:12] ---
    and he dies in no time!
[11:14] ---
    Say something good!
[11:15] ---
    Ronaldo's not judging Big Brother properly!
[11:18] ---
    No, that's not it!
    He's... Um, he's... He's... He's...
[11:24] ---
    John's cute!
[11:25] ---
    Don't change the subject of the sentence!
[11:27] ---
    Ronaldo, I'm here for today's--
[11:29] ---
    Who's he?
[11:30] ---
    Lord Dral's little brother.
[11:32] ---
    Little brother?!
[11:33] ---
    I'm Dral-Two.
[11:34] ---
    Good timing. Say some good
    things about Lord Dral.
[11:38] ---
    Huh? W-Well... Draluc is good at cooking!
[11:42] ---
    And he's good at baking...
    like cookies and stuff...
[11:46] ---
    And the meals he makes are delicious...
[11:48] ---
    Am I a machine that brings out food
    when you push a button?!
[11:50] ---
    The humans don't understand
    Big Brother's magnificence!
[11:54] ---
    No, I'm sorry! Your big brother
    is always kind to me.
[11:57] ---
    Here, have some milk!
[11:59] ---
    I want Hokkaido Special Select Milk!
[12:02] ---
    --I'll go buy some!
    --Before you go,
[12:04] ---
    do something funny!
[12:07] ---
    Here's my impression of a doctor fish!
    These dead skin cells are yummy!
[12:11] ---
    And get me FNAF Quest,
    and Shin-Yoko Alone, and Wundertale...
[12:15] ---
    No, I just want like 50,000 points
    on the Santendo Store!
[12:18] ---
    This is starting to feel like a shakedown...
[12:21] ---
    I want your lifeblood, Miss...
[12:23] ---
    D-Dral-Two, you can't have my lifeblood,
    but I'll give you something good.
[12:27] ---
    Huh?!
[12:28] ---
    They're making such a fuss!
    It's great being a kid!
[12:31] ---
    Cute kid's clothes!
[12:34] ---
    Oh, that's so cute!
[12:36] ---
    Where'd you get it?
[12:37] ---
    I bought the wrong size.
[12:39] ---
    You like stuff like this?
[12:41] ---
    Try doing a cute pose!
[12:44] ---
    Oh, that's too cute! Can I take a picture?
[12:46] ---
    Ow!
[12:47] ---
    Hokkaido Special Select Milk!
[12:50] ---
    Just go over there!
[12:53] ---
    Okay, I'll go buy Hokkaido Special Select Milk.
[12:56] ---
    I take back what I just said.
    It's not easy being a kid!
[12:59] ---
    Damn it, I want to go back to norma--
[13:02] ---
    Sand...!
[13:06] ---
    Oh, no, my wallet!
[13:07] ---
    Whoa, there! Don't open it!
[13:09] ---
    Huh? What's with that voice?
[13:12] ---
    Oh, I think I've hit puberty!
[13:15] ---
    What, did you suddenly grow leg hair?
[13:17] ---
    Maybe he's mad because we
    were making fun of his brother.
[13:22] ---
    Dral-Two, sorry about earlier.
[13:25] ---
    Your big brother's a really good guy.
[13:28] ---
    He's a strange vampire,
    and a bit of a troublemaker,
[13:31] ---
    but he's fun to be around!
[13:34] ---
    Yeah, because he's always thinking
    about interesting things.
[13:38] ---
    I haven't been bored since that guy came.
[13:41] ---
    So come out, Dral-Two!
[13:56] ---
    You've done it now, damn sand!
[13:59] ---
    I can explain!
[14:01] ---
    I just ended up like that when
    I woke up for some reason!
[14:05] ---
    Did you turn back from the shock of dying?
[14:10] ---
    Sorry, while I was gone...
[14:14] ---
    M-Mother?!
[14:16] ---
    What?! Hello!
[14:18] ---
    "Draluc's Mother - Mira"
[14:18] ---
    I'm sorry for everything up until now, Draluc.
[14:25] ---
    Please let me make up for
    all those times I left you alone.
[14:33] ---
    Lord D--
[14:36] ---
    Who are you?
[14:39] ---
    Now, let us go, Draluc.
    Come with me...
[14:50] ---
    Draluc...
[14:57] ---
    "Good Mother, Goodbye Summer, Part 2"
[14:58] ---
    Even if she's Draluc's mother,
    that didn't seem normal.
[15:02] ---
    Let's follow them, Ronaldo!
[15:04] ---
    But how are we supposed to do that?
[15:06] ---
    Where's Draluc's phone?
[15:08] ---
    It's no use. He left it here.
[15:10] ---
    Mira!
[15:14] ---
    Draluc's dad!
[15:15] ---
    "Draluc's Father - Draus"
[15:15] ---
    Was I too late?
[15:17] ---
    Draluc turned into a kid, and then
    his mom came and took him away!
[15:20] ---
    Don't panic. I'll explain.
[15:22] ---
    The woman's name is Mira.
    My wife and Draluc's mother.
[15:27] ---
    She has the power to intervene
    with another vampire's abilities.
[15:32] ---
    She probably used Draluc's transformation
    ability to turn him into a child.
[15:36] ---
    But it looks like he's forgotten about us!
[15:40] ---
    His mind must be getting influenced
    by his transformed body.
[15:44] ---
    Why would she do such a thing?!
[15:47] ---
    --I don't know...
    --You should know!
[15:48] ---
    You should talk to your wife more!
[15:50] ---
    You're right...
[15:52] ---
    But Mira's always busy with work
    and hardly ever comes home...
[15:55] ---
    Oh! My lack of communication
    caused her undue burden!
[16:00] ---
    I'm like a dried out natto bean.
[16:02] ---
    There's no time for that right now.
[16:05] ---
    Ever since Draluc started living here,
    she's seemed kind of broody.
[16:13] ---
    But I don't know why she
    would do something like this...
[16:17] ---
    He was with a human... And a hunter
    at that. She was probably worried.
[16:22] ---
    That's--
[16:26] ---
    But I'll bring that idiot back!
[16:30] ---
    He left his QS5, his coffin,
    and his computer for streaming here.
[16:35] ---
    Well said, Paul!
[16:37] ---
    What's important is that child's will!
    Now, let's bring them both back quickly!
[16:43] ---
    You two, search around this area.
[16:47] ---
    Hey, wait!
[16:48] ---
    If anything comes up, let me know right away!
[16:52] ---
    Shall we ask Handa to help?
[16:54] ---
    Yeah...
[17:12] ---
    Isn't it pretty, Draluc?
[17:14] ---
    Yes, Mother.
[17:15] ---
    I'm glad I could come with you.
    Let's go see lots of other places.
[17:23] ---
    Sorry, I was always working,
    and I couldn't spend time with you.
[17:30] ---
    It's a peaceful time, now.
    However, back then, I had no choice.
[17:37] ---
    In order to connect humans and vampires,
    and become a balancer for both sides...
[17:45] ---
    Let's have a picnic, Draluc.
[17:48] ---
    Yay!
[17:52] ---
    Wh-Where shall we go after this?
[17:56] ---
    Where's John?
[17:58] ---
    Do you want to turn in early for the night?
    Or go see the ruins of Castle Draluc?
[18:04] ---
    Please, will you put your game away?
    I'm losing HP watching you with that.
[18:08] ---
    It's not a game. I'm having fun,
    so I'm taking pictures.
[18:12] ---
    Is that right? Sorry.
    These modern game devices are amazing.
[18:16] ---
    I take the picture here,
    and then send it with this.
[18:20] ---
    Yes.
[18:21] ---
    See?
[18:22] ---
    Yes...
[18:23] ---
    Who are you sending them to?
[18:26] ---
    Huh?
[18:28] ---
    I don't know. I wonder who...
[18:32] ---
    But I want to show them.
    I mean, I'm sure they're my friends!
[18:40] ---
    If you're gonna send them...
    at least send them with your location!
[18:45] ---
    Draluc!
[18:46] ---
    You two... How did you find this place?
[18:49] ---
    We deduced the locations from the pictures
    and then followed your path. It was hard!
[18:55] ---
    But the last picture was easy.
    Because the ruins of Castle Draluc were in it!
[19:04] ---
    Come on, hurry up!
    Or I'll throw away your QS5!
[19:07] ---
    I wanna eat cookies!
[19:09] ---
    Oww...
[19:12] ---
    John. Where have you been?
[19:16] ---
    Hinaichi, you really love cookies, huh?
[19:24] ---
    I just bought that QS5.
[19:26] ---
    Besides... you watch Netflips
    on it, too, youngster!
[19:31] ---
    Anyway, I just remembered. My mother--
[19:36] ---
    Draluc... I'm sorry.
[19:40] ---
    I always had to work,
    and before I knew it, you'd grown up.
[19:46] ---
    You found your own world, and grew
    further and further away from me...
[19:52] ---
    I wanted to do something for you,
    even at this late stage, but...
[19:55] ---
    I'm sorry. It was for my own satisfaction...
[19:58] ---
    Exactly, moron!
[20:01] ---
    Don't just "do something" without
    asking me what I want first!
[20:04] ---
    First off, making me a kid and taking me around
    is just something you wanted to do! Idiot!
[20:10] ---
    Answer with a "Yes!"
    At least communicate verbally!
[20:14] ---
    Is that really what an adult
    your age should be doing?!
[20:19] ---
    There was no need for you to do any of this.
[20:23] ---
    Seeing you work as a lawyer
    when I was young was enough,
[20:26] ---
    and something I was proud of and treasured.
[20:31] ---
    You were always awkward,
    always away from home,
[20:35] ---
    and always doing things to the extreme.
[20:38] ---
    You are my dear mother.
[20:41] ---
    Draluc...
[20:45] ---
    Mira!
[20:48] ---
    Draluc! You two are here, too?
[20:51] ---
    I told you to let me know right away
    if anything came up, damn Paul!
[20:59] ---
    Let's talk, Mira. Draluc's life right now--
[21:08] ---
    Mira.
[21:10] ---
    Let's leave those two young lovebirds.
    Now, let us go home, everyone!
[21:14] ---
    Don't tell us what to do!
[21:16] ---
    Draluc, your family really loves you.
[21:19] ---
    Yeah!
[21:21] ---
    The shame of my family-- Hey, youngster!
    What are you laughing at?
[21:24] ---
    I'll slap you dead! Sand...
[21:26] ---
    I'll stuff you in the trunk, Sand!
[21:28] ---
    Don't leave me!
[21:30] ---
    It's fine. I have heard about how
    busy you are with work from Father.
[21:36] ---
    Please come back home again quickly.
[21:43] ---
    Anyway, I didn't know you could drive.
    But your driving's too scary!
[21:47] ---
    Hey, I'm gonna kill you! Die!
[21:48] ---
    Don't look over here!
[21:49] ---
    Keep your eyes on the road, idiot!
[23:25] ---
    "Light and shadow"
[23:26] ---
    What should we do now?!
[23:30] ---
    "Front and back"
[23:30] ---
    Right now, no matter what we do,
    it won't breach etiquette, right?!
[23:36] ---
    The vampire dies in no time!
[23:39] ---

[23:41] ---

E5 - Last Stop, Ura-Shin-Yokohama

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:05] Fukuma
    Oh? It's about time I left for work.
[00:12] Sign
    "Vampire Cat - Bosatsu"
[00:12] Bosatsu
    This is no time to be playing
    around thoughtlessly!
[00:16] Bosatsu
    You bastard, Fukuma.
[00:18] Bosatsu
    You're a crazy, insincere idiot hiding
    behind the mask of a cat lover.
[00:23] Bosatsu
    Hm? This is convenient!
[00:25] Bosatsu
    I'll hide in his bag and run away
    during his commute.
[00:33] Bosatsu
    Goodbye, Fukuma.
[00:36] Bosatsu
    Once I escape, I will reboot my plan
    to turn the world into cat lovers!
[00:48] Sign
    "Autumn Books"
[00:50] Bosatsu
    He lives really close to work.
[02:24] Sign
    "The Dream-Quest of Unknown Fukuma"
[02:27] Bosatsu
    It can't be helped, bastard.
[02:29] Bosatsu
    I'll jump out and run away here.
[02:32] Autumn Boy Robot
    Eliminate the foreign objects. Eliminate!
[02:32] Sign
    "Autumn Specialties - Autumn Boy Robots"
[02:35] Fukuma
    Bosatsu, did you follow me to work?
[02:38] Autumn Boy Robot
    Oh, it's just a cat.
[02:40] Fukuma
    Since you're here, I have no choice.
[02:42] Bosatsu
    No, your place is close.
[02:44] Fukuma
    We'll be together all day today, won't we?
[02:45] Bosatsu
    It's close, so you could just go home.
[02:47] Fukuma
    Let's work together today, okay, Bosatsu?
[02:51] Bosatsu
    Don't panic. You've still got a chance.
    Look for an opening and run!
[03:00] Sign
    "Autumn Books Credo:
    Sell three hundred million copies
    of the first edition"
[03:07] Sign
    "Cat Lover"
    "Cat"
[03:08] Fukuma
    This is my desk.
[03:12] Fukuma
    It's like you're right where
    you're supposed to be.
[03:14] Bosatsu
    What's this guy doing at work?
[03:19] Rokumon
    Mr. Fukuma.
[03:20] Rokumon
    Here are the files you asked for.
[03:23] Fukuma
    Thank you very much.
[03:27] PA
    Intruder alert! Intruder alert!
[03:29] Employee A
    It's a raid by a rival publisher!
[03:31] Fukuma
    I'll go deal with our guests.
[03:35] Keramushi
    I am Keramushi, first spearman of
    Summer Books's editorial department!
[03:39] Keramushi
    Small fry are no match for me!
[03:41] Keramushi
    Come out, editor with a name!
[03:48] Fukuma
    Fist of the South Star Editorial Battle-Axe.
[03:53] Fukuma
    Hand of the Battle-Axe of Fury.
[03:57] Bosatsu
    What the heck?
[03:59] Fukuma
    Now, shall we go instruct the newbies?
[04:04] Fukuma
    In order to raise outstanding employees,
    it's important to get a good start.
[04:11] Sign
    "Autumn Specialties -
    New Employee Cultivation Tanks"
[04:16] Fukuma
    Only the editor in charge
    can protect the author.
[04:19] Fukuma
    Please keep that in mind.
[04:23] Fukuma
    They show promise.
[04:25] Bosatsu
    I don't even feel like coming up
    with a clever retort to that.
[04:29] Sanzu
    I've put a trap on Fukuma's chair!
[04:31] Sanzu
    That'll give you some severe hemorrhoids!
[04:33] Sign
    "Autumn Specialty - Autumn-Style Air Chair"
[04:40] Fukuma
    Please wait here a moment.
    I'll go buy some lunch.
[04:45] Bosatsu
    This is my chance!
[04:53] Autumn Boy Robot
    Food, food.
[04:55] Autumn Grizzly
    Yum, yum.
[04:57] Go
    Oh! You're Fukuma's cat!
[05:00] Bosatsu
    Oh, I believe this is the human
    who is editor-in-chief.
[05:04] Go
    You haven't eaten yet, right?
    I've got bread from the co-op if you want it.
[05:09] Bosatsu
    I'll brainwash this guy and
    have him carry me outside.
[05:14] Go
    Here you go!
[05:15] Bosatsu
    What's this?!
[05:16] Go
    Hey, c'mon, you don't wanna eat my leftovers?
[05:19] Bosatsu
    No, really, what is this? You ate it?
[05:21] Fukuma
    Editor-in-Chief.
[05:24] Fukuma
    Please don't give him something
    so high in calories.
[05:27] Go
    Oh, sorry, sorry.
[05:30] Fukuma
    You can just have a little bit.
[05:35] Fukuma
    Ronaldo, how's your progress on
    The Ronaldo Chronicles volume 3?
[05:40] Sanzu
    Ronaldo!
[05:41] Ronaldo
    W-Well, um, uh, all I have left
    is to catch a wave, I mean...
[05:45] Fukuma
    You haven't written anything yet, have you?
[05:49] Fukuma
    I'm going to Shin-Yokohama for a meeting.
[05:52] Bosatsu
    It's my big chance!
    Shin-Yoko is my home ground.
[05:55] Bosatsu
    If I run away and go off into a back street,
    there's no way you'll be able to catch me.
[06:01] Bosatsu
    I will accompany you.
[06:03] Sign
    "Shin-Yokohama Station"
[06:05] Boy
    What's that?
[06:06] Fukuma
    There's still a little time
    before our meeting time.
[06:11] Fukuma
    Bosatsu?
[06:13] Bosatsu
    It's goodbye to that crazy idiot now!
[06:17] Bosatsu
    Well, I am reluctant to part with
    that comfortable life, though.
[06:21] Ronaldo
    Is that you, Bosatsu?!
[06:23] Ronaldo
    Please!
[06:24] Ronaldo
    Hide me!
[06:26] Ronaldo
    Take me to the cat kingdom!
[06:28] Bosatsu
    An idiot has arrived.
[06:30] Ronaldo
    I can't take it anymore!
    I can't write anything!
[06:33] Ronaldo
    Mr. Fukuma's gonna chop off my weenie!
[06:35] Bosatsu
    Why do you still work with Fukuma
    if you're so scared of him?
[06:39] Ronaldo
    Take me to the cat kingdom
    while I'm still a man!
[06:45] Fukuma
    Ronaldo, first, please calm down.
[06:49] Bosatsu
    I got thrown in, too!
[06:51] Fukuma
    Ronaldo, when you're panicked,
[06:53] Fukuma
    you have a tendency to lose
    confidence and worry too much.
[06:57] Fukuma
    You start thinking that everything
    you write is boring,
[06:59] Fukuma
    and you get stuck in a rut, right?
[07:05] Fukuma
    Here are some reference materials
    and fan letters from readers.
[07:09] Fukuma
    They might be of some assistance
    to get you writing again.
[07:12] Fukuma
    It's all right. Please write
    your ideas down proudly.
[07:16] Fukuma
    The things you write are interesting!
[07:22] Ronaldo
    Mr. Fukuma! Thank you!
[07:25] Ronaldo
    I'll show you that I can finish writing
[07:26] Ronaldo
    The War Chronicles of Ronaldo:
    The Fierce Fight with Mr. Lewd Talk!
[07:30] Fukuma
    That's the spirit!
[07:31] Bosatsu
    What the heck?
[07:32] Fukuma
    Let's not stand around talking.
    Shall we go to a café?
[07:36] Ronaldo
    Yes!
[07:37] Bosatsu
    I'll take this opening...
[07:46] Fukuma
    Sorry to keep you waiting, Bosatsu.
[07:49] Bosatsu
    I was getting tired of waiting.
[07:52] Bosatsu
    I understand why that idiot
    would team up with you now.
[07:56] Bosatsu
    It's actually quite comfortable, huh?
    Inside that iron maiden.
[08:01] Bosatsu
    I'm seeing you in a new light, too, a little.
[08:04] Bosatsu
    As my servant.
[08:07] Fukuma
    Bosatsu, look at this!
[08:10] Fukuma
    You seemed to like it, so I special
    ordered an iron maiden for cats!
[08:15] Fukuma
    Go ahead and try going inside!
[08:17] Bosatsu
    I should've run away.
[08:22] Sign
    "A Kind Man Under Siege"
[08:22] Draluc
    A vaccine?
[08:24] Ronaldo
    So we don't turn into pseudovampires.
    Hunters have to get it every year.
[08:28] Ronaldo
    Then why is it just you three?
[08:29] Shot
    Everyone else has probably
    already gotten theirs.
[08:31] Draluc
    I see.
[08:33] Draluc
    So you're the "I'm scared of shots
    so I didn't come until the last minute" trio.
[08:36] Ronaldo
    Shut up!
[08:37] Draluc
    Arm Guy, this isn't a job, so why are
    you wearing that apocalyptic armor?
[08:40] Satetsu
    Wearing it calms me down.
[08:42] Draluc
    Is it like a safety blanket?
[08:44] Ronaldo
    It's because even though Satetsu's so buff,
    he's got the courage of a flea.
[08:47] Satetsu/PA
    --No, no...
    --Ronaldo, please enter.
[08:49] Ronaldo
    John, come in with me!
[08:52] Draluc
    Go by yourself.
[08:54] Yomotsuzaka
    Okay, I'll administer the vaccine now.
[08:57] Ronaldo
    You've gotta be kidding!
[08:58] Ronaldo
    There's no way that stuff the color
    of demon water is a vaccine!
[09:02] Yomotsuzaka
    It's a new color for this year.
    At the forefront of popularity.
[09:02] Sign
    "Vampire Research Center Director
    Yomotsuzaka"
[09:06] Yomotsuzaka
    Don't worry. You'll just feel a small bump,
[09:09] Yomotsuzaka
    and then the drug will go
    through your whole body
[09:10] Yomotsuzaka
    and your cells will just undergo
    a dramatic change.
[09:13] Ronaldo
    That develops into something serious!
[09:15] Yomotsuzaka
    Hey, you're too slow!
    Just hurry up and be my guinea pig!
[09:20] Satetsu
    Ronaldo, what's all the fuss abo--?
[09:24] Shot
    Satetsu!
[09:31] Ronaldo
    Satetsu! Are you all right?!
[09:39] Satetsu
    Blood...
[09:40] Satetsu
    Blood... Give me blood!
[09:43] Shot
    Hey, what drug was that?
[09:45] Yomotsuzaka
    It's supposed to confer the physical
    abilities of a vampire onto a human,
[09:50] Yomotsuzaka
    but it's a failure.
[09:51] Yomotsuzaka
    He's turned into a pseudovampire
    and is going on a rampage.
[09:55] Satetsu
    I'm hungry... Blood...
[09:58] Satetsu
    Blood... Give me bloo--!
[10:02] Staff A
    Director, the exam for the vampire we
    detained the other day is complete.
[10:06] Staff A
    It's been calm this whole time, though.
[10:09] Yomotsuzaka
    Okay. Change from blood
    pack S to the normal pack.
[10:13] Staff A
    Got it.
[10:16] Satetsu
    I'm hungry... Blood...
[10:18] Ronaldo
    Why are you repeating yourself for us?
[10:20] Yomotsuzaka
    The drug's effects and his good-natured
    instincts are vying with each other.
[10:24] Satetsu/Ronaldo
    --Blood...
    --His good-natured instincts?
[10:26] Yomotsuzaka
    I'll give him the cure now.
    Find me an opening.
[10:30] Yomotsuzaka
    You'll have to appeal to
    his good-natured instincts.
[10:32] Ronaldo
    That's unreasonable!
[10:34] Satetsu
    Blood...
[10:35] Ronaldo
    Oh, no, I'm in trouble.
    I need to give someone this shot.
[10:39] Ronaldo
    Will anyone let me give them the shot?
[10:41] Draluc
    What is this, a school play?
[10:42] Shot
    It's like the beginning of the war on drugs
    videos we had to watch in elementary school.
[10:45] Ronaldo
    Shut up!
[10:47] Satetsu
    If you'll have me...
[10:49] Draluc
    It's super working, though.
[10:51] Ronaldo
    All right, come here, Satetsu!
[10:52] Yomotsuzaka
    Oh, is there also someone around who'd let me
    try out various experiments on them?
[10:57] Ronaldo
    You scum!
[10:58] Yomotsuzaka
    Like seeing if the anti-vampire
    anesthetics work or not,
[11:01] Yomotsuzaka
    and letting me collect a blood sample...
[11:05] Ronaldo
    He ran from the pressure!
[11:06] Shot
    Satetsu!
[11:07] Yomotsuzaka
    Oh, no, hurry up and chase him
    with this test drug.
[11:10] Ronaldo
    Give me the cure!
[11:13] Ronaldo
    Where'd he go?!
    It'll be bad if he attacks someone!
[11:16] Shot
    He's really fast.
[11:18] Shot
    We'll have to predict his path
    and go around to catch him!
[11:21] Ronaldo
    There he is! He's waiting
    responsibly for the walk signal!
[11:24] Ronaldo
    Wait, Satetsu! The drug!
[11:26] Shot
    It's no good. He's raising
    his arm as he crosses.
[11:28] Shinichi
    Let's do that "dukushi" thing again!
[11:30] Hiroshi/Makoto
    --Okay, let's do it.
    --Yeah!
[11:31] Ronaldo
    Oh, no! There are kids here!
[11:33] Shot
    Stop, Satetsu!
[11:45] Shinichi/Hiroshi/Makoto
    Ooh, you're in trouble!
[11:48] Ronaldo
    All right, this is our chance!
[11:50] Ronaldo
    Let's put back the bikes
    to make him less wary of us.
[11:53] Shot
    Right!
[11:56] Shinichi
    If we lift this one,
    can't we push them all back up?
[11:59] Hiroshi
    Great idea, Shin!
[12:01] Shot
    Satetsu, get a hold of yourself!
[12:03] Ronaldo
    Come on, take the medicine.
    It'll just feel like a little pinch!
[12:07] Shot
    If you're good, I'll give you a rice ball.
[12:09] Draluc
    What is he, a dog?
[12:11] Shinichi
    Ow!
[12:12] Shinichi
    Aw, man! I cut my hand.
[12:13] Makoto
    Whoa, are you okay? You're bleeding.
[12:16] Hiroshi
    Looks painful.
[12:19] Ronaldo
    Satetsu!
[12:20] Satetsu
    Kids... I don't... want to attack them!
[12:26] Satetsu
    Please stop me...
[12:30] Ronaldo
    Damn it!
[12:31] Ronaldo
    Stay put, Satetsu!
[12:41] Ronaldo
    Damn it, there's no time to go
    easy on you! Sorry, Satetsu.
[12:44] Ronaldo
    I'm gonna use a tranquilizer!
[12:49] Ronaldo
    Satetsu!
[13:04] Satetsu
    A-Are you okay...? Sorry...
[13:10] Satetsu
    You shouldn't stay here... Okay...?
[13:18] Ronaldo
    And so, Satetsu's back to normal,
    but you have something you should say, right?!
[13:25] Satetsu
    Let him go...
[13:27] Yomotsuzaka
    S-Satetsu reminds me...
    of a dog I had in the past...
[13:33] Ronaldo
    So? What's that got to do with it?!
[13:35] Satetsu
    I-It's fine, Ronaldo.
[13:38] Satetsu
    The drug made me out of control
    because I was too mentally weak...
[13:42] Ronaldo
    You should be more mad!
[13:44] Satetsu
    Well...
[13:45] Satetsu
    Honestly, I was mortified to have
    other people see me go crazy like that.
[13:51] Satetsu
    It was the worst.
[13:53] Satetsu
    But no one was hurt,
    and I was able to save the kids, so...
[13:59] Satetsu
    I guess all's well that ends well.
[14:01] Yomotsuzaka
    Yes, thanks for forgiving me.
[14:04] Ronaldo
    I told you, you can be more mad at him!
[14:06] Hiroshi
    Hey, let's watch that fight again!
[14:08] Makoto
    Okay. I got it starting from when he
    knocked over the bikes and was crying.
[14:11] Etiquette Breacher
    I shared it with all my friends on Messe!
[14:17] Draluc
    I guess someone was hurt.
[14:20] Satetsu
    Right?
[14:24] Sign
    "Last Stop, Ura-Shin-Yokohama"
[14:26] Ronaldo
    Man, that yakiniku was really
    cheap and delicious, huh?
[14:30] Shot
    It's nice to leave Shin-Yoko
    once in a while, huh?
[14:32] Bubuo
    It looks like the maps of both
    your lives will end in Shin-Yoko.
[14:35] Ronaldo
    Even though you're an idiot, you're pretty
    poetic about stuff like that, huh?
[14:38] Ronaldo
    Can I punch you?
[14:39] Etiquette Breacher
    Oh, hello? Grandpa?
    I'm on my way home.
[14:42] Ronaldo
    You're a good grandson, but hang that up!
[15:04] Sign
    "Ronaldo"
    "Could not connect"
[15:23] Ronaldo
    Crap, we're here.
[15:25] Ronaldo
    Everyone, wake up! We're getting off.
[15:38] Ronaldo
    Where are we?
[15:39] Sign
    "Ura-Shin-Yokohama"
[15:48] Ronaldo
    How's it look over there?
[15:49] Shot
    It's no good.
[15:51] Shot
    It's a strange, dark space outside,
    and we can't leave even if we tried.
[15:55] Ronaldo
    The tracks are like that, too.
[15:57] Bubuo
    There's no one in any of the stores, either.
[15:59] Ronaldo
    Where'd you get that chocolate?!
[16:01] Etiquette Breacher
    I wanna play a game,
    but there's no cell service.
[16:04] Shot
    "The only person who isn't
    looking around properly."
[16:06] Shot
    That's the etiquette he was
    probably trying to breach.
[16:08] Shot
    But he looked into the cell service for us.
[16:12] Ronaldo
    Thanks, moron.
[16:14] Sign
    "Ura-Shin-Yokohama Store"
[16:14] Ronaldo
    There's just one thing we know--
[16:16] Sign
    "Ura-Shin-Yokohama Branch"
[16:18] Ronaldo
    We're trapped in this "Ura-Shin-Yokohama
    Station" or whatever it's called.
[16:25] Sign
    "Vampire - Ura-Shin-Yokohama"
[16:27] Ura-Shin-Yokohama
    No one can escape my barrier.
[16:31] Ura-Shin-Yokohama
    Once you've fallen to the depths of despair,
    I will partake in all of your life force!
[16:38] Ronaldo
    What should we do now?
[16:41] Shot
    We can't find the exit,
    and we can't contact the outside world,
[16:44] Shot
    so there's no way to go back.
[16:49] Ronaldo
    Oh, well! Whether it's reversed or not,
    Shin-Yoko's like our home ground!
[16:53] Shot
    Let's explore! Explore!
[16:55] Bubuo
    Good idea!
[16:56] Ura-Shin-Yokohama
    Huh?!
[16:58] Shot
    First, if you try leaving from here,
    you think you've left, but then you come back.
[17:02] Shot
    Bubuo will demonstrate.
[17:05] Ronaldo
    Huh?
[17:06] Ronaldo
    That's super gross.
[17:08] Shot
    Then, if you pull down
    your pants in this position,
[17:10] Shot
    it'll be the first time in your life
    that you can see your own ass.
[17:13] Bubuo
    Th-This is my ass?!
[17:15] Ronaldo
    What's the point of looking at that?!
    Do you gain anything from it?!
[17:18] Shot
    But if you miss this chance,
    you'll probably never get another one.
[17:23] Bubuo
    Living normally, you've got a
    0% chance of being able to do it.
[17:26] Bubuo
    It's many trillion times rarer than
    watching the Olympics in person!
[17:30] Ronaldo
    Whoa... it really feels like an ass.
[17:33] Shot
    Right? Aren't you glad you did it?
[17:34] Bubuo
    It's rounder than I expected.
[17:40] Bubuo
    Huh? The train's gone.
[17:44] Ronaldo
    I've always wanted to try
    going into one of these spaces.
[17:47] Etiquette Breacher
    Me, too!
[17:48] Shot
    It's like camping, or a secret hideout.
[17:55] Bubuo
    There was a girl I really liked in the past...
[17:58] Etiquette Breacher
    He's suddenly starting to talk about girls!
[18:00] Bubuo
    Actually, Eri really liked me--
[18:03] Etiquette Breacher
    He's obviously exaggerating!
[18:06] Shot
    When I was in fourth grade--
[18:07] Etiquette Breacher
    He's going so far back!
[18:10] Ronaldo
    When I was young, I had so many pet turtles--
[18:13] Shot
    Don't force yourself to join in.
[18:14] Etiquette Breacher
    You've got less experience in love than Bubuo!
[18:20] Shot
    I see. If we're inside the station,
    we can move however we want.
[18:24] Etiquette Breacher
    Sure looks like it.
[18:26] Shot
    And since there's no one here but us--
[18:32] All
    We've got the station to ourselves!
[18:37] Shot
    Oh, man! I've always wanted
    to lie on the floor here!
[18:41] Ronaldo
    There are souvenirs, so we don't
    have to worry about food!
[18:46] Bubuo
    Take a look at this! It's one of those
    hamburger-like delicious things.
[18:50] Ronaldo
    One of those things you're happy to get
    but wouldn't buy for yourself!
[18:55] Ronaldo
    The bookstore instantly
    transforms into a manga library!
[18:59] Shot
    Try opening up those drawers at the bottom!
[19:02] Bubuo
    And train on the escalators!
[19:05] Shot
    And fall asleep in a massage chair!
[19:08] Shot
    No matter what you do right now,
    you won't breach etiquette, hey!
[19:14] Shot
    Sorry.
[19:15] Ronaldo/Shot
    --It's livable!
    --This is...
[19:17] Ronaldo
    ...our very own Ura-Shin-Yoko Kingdom!
[19:23] Ura-Shin-Yokohama
    I need to break them down, and fast!
[19:32] Bubuo
    What's going on?!
[19:33] Etiquette Breacher
    I-It's like a maze...
[19:37] Shot
    We've got no choice.
    Shall we smash it down?
[19:41] Ronaldo
    If Satetsu were here,
    he'd be able to do it in one punch.
[19:51] Ronaldo
    Is something broken?
[19:52] Shot
    Calm down.
[19:53] Shot
    When electrical appliances
    are on the fritz, punch them.
[19:57] Ronaldo
    Take that!
[20:01] Shot
    It's back.
[20:03] Sign
    "HELP...HELP...HELP...HELP..."
[20:07] Bubuo
    That's scary!
[20:08] Ronaldo
    What the heck?
[20:09] Shot
    Punch it.
[20:11] Ronaldo
    Take that!
[20:16] Shot
    What's wrong?
[20:17] Bubuo
    The text in the manga looks gross!
[20:20] Ronaldo
    There are a ton of typos!
[20:22] Bubuo
    I'll leave it on the counter for now.
[20:25] Ronaldo
    An earthquake!
[20:26] Shot
    Punch it!
[20:29] Shot
    Take that!
[20:31] Bubuo
    Oh, shoot! The passageway's gotten really long,
    and the bathroom's super far away now.
[20:34] Etiquette Breacher
    That sucks.
[20:36] Bubuo
    I've got no choice.
    I'll go over there somewhere.
[20:42] Ura-Shin-Yokohama
    Everyone, I'm sorry for
    all the trouble you've had.
[20:46] Ura-Shin-Yokohama
    I would like to apologize
    for making you lost in here
[20:50] Ura-Shin-Yokohama
    and put the space back to how it was before.
[20:52] Ura-Shin-Yokohama
    If you take the next train that comes in,
    you will be able to return to Shin-Yokohama.
[20:57] Ura-Shin-Yokohama
    Oh, I'm not anyone suspicious, really.
[21:00] Ura-Shin-Yokohama
    Seriously, you can go home now--
[21:02] Ronaldo
    We will not go back yet!
[21:04] Ura-Shin-Yokohama
    Huh?
[21:05] Ronaldo
    S-Sorry!
[21:07] Ronaldo
    I'm not sure what I'm saying. But for some
    reason, I don't want to leave this place yet.
[21:12] Shot
    Ronaldo.
[21:14] Shot
    I get it! I still want to play with
    the drones they sell at Bic Camera!
[21:19] Ronaldo
    Shot...
[21:20] Bubuo
    Me, too!
[21:21] Bubuo
    I wanna go into a restaurant
    and eat whatever I want!
[21:24] Etiquette Breacher
    And I...
[21:26] Etiquette Breacher
    I'll definitely come up with a breach
    of etiquette that even works in here!
[21:31] Ronaldo
    You guys...
[21:37] All
    It's livable! This is our very own
    Ura-Shin-Yoko Kingdom!
[21:44] Ura-Shin-Yokohama
    Please, go home!
[23:27] Sign
    "Entering Runaway State"
[23:27] Sign
    "Time left: 5 minutes"
[23:29] Sign
    "Continue?"
[23:31] Sign
    "Or fall?"
[23:32] Draluc
    Now that it's come to this, I will...!
[23:36] Draluc
    The vampire dies in no time!

E6 - The Deadline March

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Draluc
    Vampiric vegetables came out
    of the closet, and it's scary!
[00:03] Draluc
    So...
[00:05] Draluc
    I bought some vampire bait!
[00:08] Draluc
    Now, where shall I place it?
[00:12] Draluc
    For those of you who thought,
    "He's just going to get caught and die himself,"
[00:16] Draluc
    you'll be sorry you underestimated
    a superior vampi-- Sand.
[00:22] Sign
    "Vampire Bait"
[00:22] Draluc
    Help me, John.
[00:27] Draluc
    You little-- I fell right into
    one of those tacky clichés...
[00:31] Draluc
    And it left me sticky.
[00:35] Draluc
    This is...
[02:08] Draluc
    It's a picture of Ronaldo.
    There are lots of them!
[02:09] Sign
    "Big Brother Saga, Light Chapter"
[02:12] Draluc
    If there are any embarrassing pictures,
    I'll sell them off to Kameya.
[02:17] Draluc
    If you ignore what he's doing,
    you could say he was a handsome boy.
[02:20] Draluc
    Is that his little sister? How cute--
[02:23] Draluc
    But why are you putting rice
    on her stomach? Stop that.
[02:27] Draluc
    What is he doing?
[02:29] Draluc
    Yup.
[02:30] Draluc
    Ronaldo was an idiot.
[02:33] Draluc
    Oh? Is this Ronaldo's older brother...?
[02:39] Draluc
    I feel like I've seen him somewhere before...
[02:43] Draluc
    Oh, well, it doesn't matter.
    I wonder if there are any funnier pictur--
[02:46] Draluc
    Sand...
[02:47] Ronaldo
    Don't rummage through my stuff
    without asking, you idiot!
[02:49] Draluc
    Why, I didn't know you had siblings!
[02:53] Ronaldo
    Yeah. My brother was a hunter, too.
[02:56] Draluc
    More importantly,
    what kind of girl is your sister?
[02:58] Draluc
    Do you think her blood's delicious?
[02:59] Draluc
    Sand...
[03:00] Draluc
    If he was a hunter, does that
    mean he's not one anymore?
[03:03] Ronaldo
    Yeah. He works at the Vampire
    Control Division now.
[03:07] Draluc
    Is he the captain from that time I was a crab?
[03:10] Ronaldo
    A crab?
[03:11] Draluc
    Wait, do Handa and Hinaichi
    know he's your brother?
[03:15] Ronaldo
    Probably not. I haven't said anything.
[03:17] Ronaldo
    If I did, I feel like it'd turn into
    a huge pain in the ass.
[03:20] Hinaichi/Handa
    --Wee?! Wee-wee we-wee?!
    --R-R-R-Ronaldo...!
[03:22] Draluc
    Yes, I can imagine.
[03:24] Draluc
    But why did he go from being
    a hunter to Vamp Control?
[03:27] Draluc
    Sounds like a juicy story! Tell me!
[03:29] Ronaldo
    Sorry. I don't feel like
    talking about it right now.
[03:33] Draluc
    Oh, really? Okay.
    John, let's play a game.
[03:38] Ronaldo
    It was when I was still a kid...
[03:41] Draluc
    If you want to talk about it,
    then say you want to talk about it.
[03:44] Ronaldo
    When I was still a kid--
[03:47] Ronaldo
    My brother was just starting out as a hunter.
[03:50] Ronaldo (age 10)
    Big Bro, Big Bro!
[03:52] Ronaldo (age 10)
    Buy me another popsicle!
[03:54] Hiyoshi
    What, finished already?
[03:56] Ronaldo (age 10)
    Yup! I'm done!
[03:58] Hiyoshi
    Even if I don't buy one, if you bury
    that stick, it'll grow into a new one.
[04:01] Ronaldo (age 10)
    Are you serious, Big Bro?!
[04:04] Ronaldo
    I believed him for a while and
    took care of the stick in a planter.
[04:09] Ronaldo
    And then, when I started middle school--
[04:12] Draluc
    Sorry, can you skip to the important parts?
[04:15] Draluc
    I know you're an idiot already.
[04:17] Draluc
    There's more, right? Like, what kind
    of hunter was your brother?
[04:21] Ronaldo
    Shut up, I'm getting there!
[04:25] Ronaldo
    My brother was an amazing hunter.
[04:30] Ronaldo
    He was an expert marksman.
[04:32] Ronaldo
    Ever since he was a rookie, he fought
    right there next to the veterans,
[04:36] Ronaldo
    and he could take down any vampire.
[04:38] Ronaldo
    He was the most famous hunter
    around these parts.
[04:43] Ronaldo
    My brother practically raised us.
    He became a hunter for me and my sister.
[04:51] Ronaldo
    I'm sure it was tough,
    but he never showed it in front of us.
[04:56] Ronaldo
    He was everyone's hero.
[04:59] Ronaldo
    He did more than one or two thousand jobs.
[05:03] Ronaldo
    Of course, he was also
    really popular with the girls.
[05:05] Ronaldo
    But because he was so virtuous,
    he acted so gentlemanly to all the girls.
[05:09] Sign
    "Big Brother
    Gun
    Sword Infinite Bullets ESP Beam Strength Coolness"
[05:09] Ronaldo
    And he wasn't just a good marksman,
    he was also a good swordsman,
[05:11] Ronaldo
    and he could ride horses and shoot beams!
[05:14] Ronaldo
    Hey, he's turning into a card
    made by a grade schooler.
[05:18] Ronaldo
    He really was super amazing!
[05:21] Ronaldo
    So amazing that I thought about writing
    about him in The Ronaldo Chronicles!
[05:24] Sign
    "My big brother's amazing and strong and level
    infinity and he's good at using a sword
    and at horseback riding and can shoot beams. He's popular with girls and amazing, and he can even fly and he's a hero and virtuous and gentlemanly."
[05:24] Draluc
    If fans start reading an adventure story
    that ends up being all about your brother,
[05:27] Draluc
    they're going to be really confused.
[05:29] Ronaldo
    When I was a kid, I'd copy my brother...
[05:32] Ronaldo (age 10)
    I'll hunt you down!
[05:34] Ronaldo
    ...and try to hunt my sister.
[05:36] Draluc
    That's awful and idiotic,
    and I feel bad for your sister.
[05:40] Ronaldo
    Don't feel bad. I lost to her!
[05:43] Draluc
    That's even worse.
[05:45] Draluc
    So did you want to become a hunter
    because you admired your brother?
[05:48] Ronaldo
    Shut up. What's wrong with that?
[05:50] Draluc
    But if your brother was so amazing,
    then why did he quit being a hunter?
[05:56] Ronaldo
    Well...
[05:59] Ronaldo
    Bro! Bro, it's about time you
    taught me about being a hunter!
[06:05] Ronaldo
    I want to become a hunter and help you!
[06:08] Hiyoshi
    Give it up. Being a hunter's just dangerous.
[06:13] Ronaldo
    Wait, Br--
[06:17] Sign
    "A Cultural History of Vampires"
[06:17] Ronaldo
    Even I...
[06:21] Ronaldo
    Maybe he thinks I don't have
    what it takes to be a hunter...
[06:27] Male Student
    Get away! It's a vampire!
[06:29] Male Student
    Someone, call a hunter!
[06:35] Ronaldo
    I... I did it! I defeated a vampire!
[06:38] Ronaldo
    With this, I'm sure my brother
    will acknowledge me!
[06:41] Hiyoshi
    Where is it?!
[06:43] Hiyoshi
    Hey, are you all right?
[06:44] Ronaldo
    Bro, look! I--
[06:57] Ronaldo
    Bro!
[07:00] Ronaldo
    Sometime after that, I found out.
[07:04] Ronaldo
    That my brother was going
    to quit being a hunter.
[07:09] Ronaldo
    It...
[07:11] Ronaldo
    It was my fault you got hurt,
    so it's my fault you're quitting...
[07:16] Hiyoshi
    It's not your fault.
[07:19] Ronaldo
    Br--
[07:20] Hiyoshi
    It's all my responsibility.
[07:23] Ronaldo
    What the heck?
[07:25] Ronaldo
    You...
[07:27] Ronaldo
    You're always like this!
    Taking it on yourself!
[07:33] Hiyoshi
    Hey, wait! It really isn't your fault--
[07:36] Hiyoshi
    Hey! Wait!
[07:40] Ronaldo
    After that, I begged a guild hunter
    to take me on as an apprentice.
[07:45] Ronaldo
    Since it was my fault my brother
    couldn't be a hunter anymore,
[07:49] Ronaldo
    I wanted to be strong enough to take his place.
[07:53] Ronaldo
    But then, my brother joined Vamp Control.
[07:57] Ronaldo
    I was glad that my brother was still himself
    even after he quit being a hunter,
[08:02] Ronaldo
    but maybe that was because
    I imposed my ideals onto him.
[08:08] Ronaldo
    Thinking that made it hard to go and see him.
[08:14] Ronaldo
    Aw, man, it's totally out of character
    for me to talk about something so gloomy.
[08:19] Ronaldo
    But talking about it helped me
    get my thoughts in order.
[08:22] Ronaldo
    All right, I've decided!
[08:24] Sign
    "Chapter X
    Big Brother Saga"
[08:24] Ronaldo
    I'm going to write about my brother
    in The Ronaldo Chronicles!
[08:26] Draluc
    Don't do that.
[08:27] Ronaldo
    Writing about him is the least
    I can do to atone!
[08:30] Ronaldo
    I've just run out of things to write for
    volume 3, too. It's perfect timing!
[08:33] Draluc
    You're just trying to escape reality.
[08:38] Ronaldo
    Oh, Bro?!
[08:41] Sign
    "Younger Sister - Himari"
    "Crayfish vs. Lobster"
[08:42] Draluc
    Don't change the channel!
[08:45] Sign
    "Big Brother Saga, Dark Chapter"
[08:46] Hiyoshi
    What's the matter, Sagyo?
    You seem down.
[08:49] Hiyoshi
    Oh, well, it's about this hunter named Ronaldo.
[08:50] Sign
    "Kanagawa Prefectural Police
    Vampire Control Division
    Captain - Hiyoshi"
[08:54] Sagyo
    I caused him a lot of trouble the
    other day, and I feel bad about it.
[08:58] Hiyoshi
    I see.
[08:59] Sagyo
    He just laughed and said it was okay, but...
[09:02] Ronaldo
    I do it all the time, too.
[09:03] Hiyoshi
    I don't think that's great, either.
[09:06] Hiyoshi
    I'll reprimand Handa later--
[09:08] Hiyoshi
    Right. I'll go apologize to Ronaldo in person.
[09:11] Sagyo
    Huh? No, it's not--
[09:15] Sagyo
    Thank you. I'm sorry to
    cause you trouble, Captain--
[09:18] Hiyoshi
    No, it's my responsibility as your supervisor.
[09:21] Hiyoshi
    Besides, it's a good chance.
[09:26] Hiyoshi
    It's been a while since I had
    a proper visit with my little brother.
[09:30] Hiyoshi
    Ever since I quit being a hunter
    because of that,
[09:33] Hiyoshi
    it's been hard to go and see him.
[09:36] Hiyoshi
    If we can take this chance to talk--
[09:39] Ronaldo
    My brother was an amazing hunter.
[09:42] Hiyoshi
    What? He's talking about me!
[09:45] Hiyoshi
    Oh, that makes it hard to go in.
[09:48] Ronaldo
    He was an expert marksman.
[09:50] Ronaldo
    He was the most famous
    hunter around these parts.
[09:53] Ronaldo
    He became a hunter for me and my sister.
[09:57] Hiyoshi
    He's put me on some kind of weird pedestal!
[10:01] Hiyoshi
    I became a hunter to be popular with girls!
[10:04] Hiyoshi
    H-Hunters are popular with girls!
    It's the only job for me!
[10:04] Sign
    "Top 10 Jobs Popular with Girls
    Definitive Edition"
[10:07] Hiyoshi
    There'll be a nonstop parade of girls
    to make a sumptuous feast every day!
[10:11] Hiyoshi
    I chose my job based on how popular
    it'd be with girls, so I had only one choice.
[10:15] Ronaldo
    He was everyone's hero.
[10:17] Ronaldo
    He was also really popular with the girls.
[10:19] Hiyoshi
    I just used my status as a hunter
    to pick up a bunch of girls!
[10:22] Ronaldo
    But because he was so virtuous,
    he acted so gentlemanly to all the girls.
[10:26] Hiyoshi
    I was playing around with everything I had!
[10:28] Hiyoshi
    I brought girls into the guild and made
    champagne towers, you know!
[10:32] Ronaldo
    And he wasn't just a good marksman,
    he was also a good swordsman,
[10:35] Ronaldo
    and he could ride horses and shoot beams!
[10:37] Hiyoshi
    I can't shoot beams!
[10:38] Hiyoshi
    In the time that's passed since I last saw him,
    I've turned into a kind of superman in his head.
[10:44] Hiyoshi
    Maybe I'll come back another day.
[10:45] Ronaldo
    It was my fault my brother
    couldn't be a hunter anymore.
[10:49] Hiyoshi
    No, it wasn't!
[10:50] Hiyoshi
    How many times do I have
    to tell you? That was a scratch!
[10:53] Hiyoshi
    It's true that it was because of an injury that
    my grip weakened and couldn't use a gun anymore,
[10:57] Hiyoshi
    but that was--
[10:58] Vampire Badger Game
    You fell for it, idiot!
[11:00] Hiyoshi
    Soon after that, I fell for a badger
    game vampire and got bitten!
[11:04] Hiyoshi
    It was so lame that I couldn't tell you!
[11:08] Hiyoshi
    I didn't think he was tormenting
    himself about it that much...
[11:11] Hiyoshi
    I want to correct him somehow, but...
[11:12] Ronaldo
    But talking about it helped me
    get my thoughts in order.
[11:15] Ronaldo
    All right, I've decided!
[11:16] Ronaldo
    I'm going to write about my brother
    in The Ronaldo Chronicles!
[11:19] Hiyoshi
    Don't do that!
[11:23] Ronaldo
    Oh, Bro?!
[11:25] Hiyoshi
    Crap, I went inside!
[11:27] Hiyoshi
    Well, now that I'm here, I need to
    correct his assumptions somehow!
[11:32] Hiyoshi
    Sorry, I wasn't trying to eavesdrop.
[11:35] Hiyoshi
    I just came to apologize for my subordinate.
[11:37] Ronaldo
    Oh, that's...
[11:39] Hiyoshi
    By the way, you seem to have a slight
    misunderstanding about me...
[11:47] Draluc
    Sorry to interrupt.
    Can John have your autograph?
[11:51] Draluc
    It looks like he became a fan of yours
    after hearing Ronaldo talk about you.
[11:56] Hiyoshi
    Uh, right...
[11:57] Draluc
    Like how you can shoot beams and stuff.
[12:00] Hiyoshi
    This guy's having too much fun with this!
[12:02] Hiyoshi
    Well, I can't really shoot beams right now...
[12:04] Ronaldo
    It's my fault!
[12:06] Ronaldo
    It's because of the injury he got
    while protecting me!
[12:08] Ronaldo
    I didn't just take away being a hunter
    from him, I even stole his beams!
[12:12] Hiyoshi
    And what are you saying?!
[12:14] Hiyoshi
    How many times do I have to tell you?
    I quit being a hunter for a different reason.
[12:18] Ronaldo
    You're lying. You're just saying that
    out of consideration for me...
[12:21] Hiyoshi
    I told you, it's something else!
[12:23] Hiyoshi
    This is the reason.
[12:25] Hiyoshi
    When I protected you,
    I was bitten on the shoulder, right?
[12:30] Hiyoshi
    Do you get it now?
    It really isn't your fault.
[12:35] Hiyoshi
    I didn't think you still
    thought it was your fault.
[12:38] Hiyoshi
    Sorry for not noticing.
[12:41] Ronaldo
    It's fine... But then,
    how did you get that injury?
[12:46] Hiyoshi
    Well, a bunch of stuff happened
    and then... I was injured.
[12:49] Ronaldo
    You're suddenly irrational!
[12:50] Draluc
    Were you tricked by a sexy
    vampire lady and bitten?
[12:55] Ronaldo/Draluc
    --That'd never happen to my brother, moron!
    --Sand!
[12:59] Sign
    "To John
    Hiyoshi"
[13:01] Draluc
    You, too, John?!
[13:02] Ronaldo
    My virtuous brother wouldn't
    make such a dumb mistake.
[13:05] Ronaldo
    There must be a profound reason for it, right?
[13:07] Hiyoshi
    Right... um...
[13:09] Hiyoshi
    Well, this injury is... you know...
[13:13] Hiyoshi
    Um... From when I sealed
    an evil god into my right arm.
[13:15] Ronaldo
    An evil god?!
[13:17] Hiyoshi
    I defeated a vampire powerful
    enough to be called an evil god
[13:20] Hiyoshi
    and sealed the remains
    of the soul in my right arm.
[13:25] Hiyoshi/Ronaldo
    --That's what this scar is from.
    --Bro!
[13:28] Hiyoshi
    Just in case that evil god
    regains consciousness,
[13:32] Hiyoshi
    I decided not to use a gun
    with my right hand anymore.
[13:35] Ronaldo
    I didn't know you had
    such a hidden saga like that.
[13:39] Hiyoshi
    I also don't shoot beams anymore
    to keep the evil god from escaping my body.
[13:43] Ronaldo
    Bro!
[13:45] Hiyoshi
    Right, so anyway--
    It's not your fault.
[13:50] Ronaldo
    You were fighting so hard
    without anyone knowing...
[13:53] Ronaldo
    I... I...
[13:57] Ronaldo
    I'll write about it in The Ronaldo Chronicles!
[13:59] Hiyoshi
    No...!
[14:00] Hiyoshi
    Why would you take it in that direction, idiot?!
[14:03] Ronaldo
    I think I became an author
    in order to write this story.
[14:06] Hiyoshi
    You're a hunter! Open your eyes!
[14:09] Draluc
    With such a grand story,
[14:11] Draluc
    getting The Ronaldo Chronicles made into
    a movie isn't just a dream, right, Ronaldo?
[14:14] Ronaldo
    I'm so motivated now.
[14:15] Sign
    "Shin-Yokohama's Steven King"
[14:15] Hiyoshi
    Don't encourage him!
[14:17] Ronaldo
    I couldn't think of what to write in
    the third volume, so this is perfect!
[14:20] Hiyoshi
    Hey!
[14:21] Hiyoshi
    I mean, you can't write about it in your book.
[14:24] Hiyoshi
    If what's in my arm becomes known to the world,
[14:27] Hiyoshi
    then vampires who want to revive
    the evil god might, you know...
[14:31] Hiyoshi
    ...come and attack me!
[14:33] Hiyoshi
    If that happens, it'll cause
    trouble for you guys, too.
[14:36] Hiyoshi
    So, um... don't do it.
[14:39] Ronaldo
    It's kind of irrational, but, Bro--!
[14:43] Hiyoshi
    Besides, you shouldn't be writing about me.
[14:48] Hiyoshi
    The Ronaldo Chronicles is about you, right?
[14:52] Hiyoshi
    You know, I'm really happy
    that you've become a fine hunter.
[14:57] Hiyoshi
    I want to read more about the hunter, Ronaldo.
[15:01] Ronaldo
    Bro...!
[15:03] Ronaldo
    All right!
[15:05] Hiyoshi
    Yes! I dodged a bullet!
[15:08] Hiyoshi
    Well, anyway, it was good seeing you. Later!
[15:10] Ronaldo
    Yeah, later, Bro!
[15:14] Hiyoshi
    Oh, yeah, see you later, too, 'Madillo!
[15:18] Draluc
    Um, John says, please take care...
    of your arm... with the evil god sealed in it...
[15:29] Hiyoshi
    Right.
[15:31] Hiyoshi
    I want to jump out the window.
[15:34] Hiyoshi
    But I'm an adult, so I won't.
[15:37] Sign
    "Shin-Yokohama Police Station"
[15:39] Handa
    Did you know? Ronaldo's big brother
    has an evil god sealed in his arm!
[15:43] Hinaichi
    I also heard about the hero
    who could once shoot beams.
[15:47] Sagyo
    Yeah, he's famous. Did you hear
    about him, too, Captain?
[15:51] Handa
    Where do the beams shoot out from?
[15:57] Fukuma
    Hm, you're almost done with the manuscript
    for The Ronaldo Chronicles volume 3,
[15:57] Sign
    "The Deadline March"
[16:01] Fukuma
    but you can't come up with a good conclusion?
[16:04] Fukuma
    This is a problem. The deadline's coming up...
[16:08] Ronaldo
    Yes... I'm sorry...
[16:10] Fukuma
    You've gotten used to being in the iron
    maiden recently, too, haven't you?
[16:14] Ronaldo
    It's nice for writing when I'm relaxed, though.
[16:17] Fukuma
    Then why don't we try a writer's retreat?
[16:21] Ronaldo
    Writer's retreat?
[16:23] Fukuma
    You would stay in one of Autumn's writing
    rooms until you finish your manuscript.
[16:27] Ronaldo
    Whoa, that's like what a famous author would do.
[16:30] Ronaldo
    O-Okay, I'll try it then.
[16:34] Fukuma
    Then let's set the time limit for five hours.
[16:41] Fukuma
    Autumn's special writing room has a desk
    on a conveyor belt and various checkpoints.
[16:49] Fukuma
    At the first checkpoint,
[16:50] Fukuma
    a fresh egg mixture delivered direct
    from the farm is released.
[16:55] Fukuma
    At the second checkpoint, you'll be covered
    with organic Autumn breadcrumbs.
[17:00] Fukuma
    This is the Autumn frying oil
    at the finish line.
[17:03] Fukuma
    Please do your best to finish your manuscript
    before you reach this point.
[17:11] Draluc
    Do your best, Ronaldo!
[17:12] Ronaldo
    I'll kill you! I'll definitely
    kill you! Just wait!
[17:16] Go
    You've got some spirit to use this, Ron!
[17:20] Fukuma
    Yes, he does.
[17:22] Draluc
    Oh, I feel bad for being the only
    one having fun watching this!
[17:26] Go
    Oh, is that right?
[17:28] Go
    You've got guts, too, to put your body
    on the line to motivate your friend!
[17:33] Fukuma
    It's an Autumn robot that's
    linked to the conveyor belt.
[17:36] Fukuma
    When Ronaldo reaches the goal,
    it'll spray Autumn garlic oil.
[17:42] Fukuma
    Now, we will take our leave
    so as not to distract Ronaldo.
[17:47] Go
    I hope you'll write a great manuscript!
[17:52] Draluc
    Wait a minute! Sand...
[17:54] Draluc
    Hurry, Ronaldo! Put your back into it!
    I'm seriously going to die!
[17:58] Ronaldo
    Shut up! You don't have to tell me to hurry!
    I've only got five hours--
[18:04] Ronaldo
    If I have five hours, it should be fine.
[18:06] Draluc
    Idiot! There's no way it'll be fine!
    In five hours, you'll be a crispy fried Ronaldo!
[18:11] Draluc
    Do you understand?!
[18:13] Ronaldo
    Well, but I'm really close on my word count.
    I can do it in like two hours.
[18:17] Draluc
    You're here because you haven't been able
    to do it! Get rid of that phone, idiot!
[18:20] Ronaldo
    Oh, I got an email.
[18:22] Draluc
    That idiot's hopeless. I can see
    him fried deliciously already.
[18:25] Draluc
    I'm not going to be served up with
    a garlic dressing along with him!
[18:28] Draluc
    Is there a switch to stop this somewhere?
[18:32] Sign
    "Control Panel"
[18:32] Draluc
    Oh, look, there it is.
[18:35] Draluc
    I wish I could leave Ronaldo there,
    but oh, well. "Stop." "Stop"...
[18:40] Draluc
    Huh? Where's the "Stop" button?!
    What menu do I have to open--?
[18:45] Draluc
    Oh, it stopped.
[18:46] Sign
    "Time remaining changed
    Time left: 5 minutes
    Confirmed You can't change it anymore"
[18:52] Draluc
    Ronaldo!
[18:54] Ronaldo
    What the hell did you do?! I'll kill--
[18:56] Ronaldo
    I'm gonna die!
[18:59] Ronaldo
    Mr. Fukuma! Go! Someone!
[19:02] Sanzu
    Infiltration complete.
[19:04] Sanzu
    Fukuma! I, Sanzu, will be Ronaldo's edito--
[19:08] Sanzu
    What?!
[19:09] Draluc
    Sanzu! I'm glad you're here!
[19:11] Draluc
    There's been an accident!
    Please stop the conveyor belt!
[19:13] Sanzu
    What did you say?!
[19:15] Sanzu
    Ronaldo! I'll go save you now!
[19:23] Sanzu/Draluc
    --I can't get out...
    --Moron!
[19:25] Sanzu
    It can't be helped.
    I'll shoot this at the bindings.
[19:28] Ronaldo
    Can you even do that?!
[19:30] Sanzu
    I might miss a little, but...
[19:34] Sanzu
    I-It's fine! I'll try get as close
    as possible before I shoot!
[19:39] Sanzu
    He's still too far.
[19:40] Sanzu
    Get closer...
[19:42] Sanzu
    Now!
[19:49] Draluc
    Oh, no! There's not much time before the goal!
[19:52] Draluc
    Now that it's come to this...
[19:54] Draluc
    If I jump into the inside of the conveyor belt,
    I might be able to stop it.
[20:02] Ronaldo
    Hurry up and get in there!
    Who else is going to stop it, you idiot?!
[20:05] Draluc
    Right! It's better to die by conveyor
    belt than be covered in garlic!
[20:14] Draluc
    That was kind of fun, so I'll do it again.
[20:16] Ronaldo
    You stupid idiot!
[20:17] Ronaldo
    Try harder to stop this!
[20:20] Draluc
    Ronaldo!
[20:23] Draluc
    It's started warming up!
[20:31] Ronaldo
    Oh, no, this is it.
    I'll be fried to a crisp now.
[20:36] Ronaldo
    I can see my life flashing before my eyes.
[20:42] Ronaldo
    I've got my conclusion!
[20:45] Ronaldo
    A ray of hope shines down.
[20:47] Ronaldo
    I'm filled with joy as I leave the people
    behind and walk away quietly.
[20:52] Ronaldo
    Because my battlefield
    is in the pitch-black darkness.
[20:58] Draluc
    He finished his manuscript!
[21:00] Sign
    "Danger"
[21:02] Draluc
    But the momentum--!
[21:05] Draluc
    Ronaldo!
[21:10] Ronaldo
    Autumn Grizzly! Why...?
[21:13] Autumn Grizzly
    You successfully completed your manuscript.
[21:17] Autumn Grizzly
    I give you my respect as
    a member of Autumn Books.
[21:20] Ronaldo
    Autumn Grizzly...
[21:23] Autumn Robots
    Congratulations.
[21:25] Autumn Grizzly
    Congratulations.
[21:28] Draluc
    Ronaldo, congratulations.
[21:32] Fukuma
    Good work.
[21:34] Fukuma
    Thank you for the wonderful manuscript, Ronaldo.
[21:37] Ronaldo
    Oh, no, thank you.
[21:40] Autumn Robot/Ronaldo
    --Here's the garlic.
    --I wasn't sure I'd finish,
[21:42] Ronaldo
    but in the end, I think I was able
    to write something good,
[21:44] Ronaldo
    or at least, something good came to me.
[21:46] Sign
    "Hot seller" "Recommended"
[21:48] Sign
    "The War Chronicles of Ronaldo"
[21:48] Handa
    I'll take these.
[21:50] Salesclerk
    Would you like book covers for these?
[21:53] Handa
    No, thank you.
[23:25] Sign
    "An ancient"
[23:27] Sign
    "Extermination method"
[23:28] Ronaldo
    A hunter who exterminates
    vampires indiscriminately?!
[23:36] Draluc
    The vampire dies in no time.

E7 - Put a Sock in It!!!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Ronaldo
    A hunter who exterminates
    vampires indiscriminately?
[00:04] Master
    Former hunter, you mean.
[00:06] Master
    To attack vampires coexisting
    peacefully with humans...
[00:09] Master
    A troublesome opponent even for us.
[00:12] Master
    Draluc, please be careful, too.
[00:15] Draluc/Master
    --Sand!
    --Oh, dear.
[00:16] Draluc
    I will!
[01:57] Ronaldo
    Bastard, don't accidentally get killed.
    It'll be annoying.
[02:00] Draluc
    Who do you think I am?
[02:01] Draluc
    I've got the unbeatable John Guard.
[02:03] Draluc
    But if it comes down to it, you better
    put your life on the line, youngster.
[02:07] Ronaldo
    I'll kill you myself.
[02:15] Ronaldo
    What?! What happened?!
[02:18] Ronaldo
    Are you all right?
[02:22] Draluc
    My socks were stolen!
[02:24] Ronaldo
    Huh?
[02:25] Daluc
    My socks! My socks...!
[02:28] Ronaldo
    What the hell? I'll kill you.
[02:30] Tabiko
    I've got them, all right.
[02:33] Tabiko
    He's a weak vampire,
    but he's got good taste in socks.
[02:40] Tabiko
    Good smell...
[02:41] Ronaldo
    Pervert!
[02:43] Tabiko
    I am a human sock collection--
[02:43] Sign
    "Human Sock Collection
    Tabiko"
[02:46] Tabiko
    I steal socks to exterminate various vampires.
[02:49] Ronaldo
    Stealing socks to exterminate? What the--?
[02:52] Draluc
    It's an ancient... method
    of exterminating vampires...
[02:56] Draluc
    Vampires have an attachment to their property,
[03:00] Draluc
    so when their socks are stolen,
    they break down from worry and die...
[03:07] Tabiko
    I torment them slowly and weaken them.
[03:09] Tabiko
    It's an extermination method
    fitting for vampires.
[03:12] Ronaldo
    It's just lame!
[03:14] Tabiko
    I was able to get good socks at the outset.
[03:16] Tabiko
    Farewell!
[03:17] Ronaldo
    Wait, pervert!
[03:20] Draluc
    Hurry... Hurry up and chase her...
[03:23] Draluc
    Before more suffer at her hands!
[03:26] Ronaldo
    Stop with the serious atmosphere. It's annoying.
[03:29] Nudenium
    Compatriot!
[03:33] Nudenium
    Were we too late?
[03:34] Draluc
    Yeah... It's pathetic...
    I've lost my edge...
[03:39] Ronaldo
    What's with this B movie turn of events?
[03:42] Etiquette Breacher
    H-Hey, this is a joke, right?
[03:44] Etiquette Breacher
    You die in no time but then you
    come right back happy, right?
[03:47] Nudenium
    Don't underestimate the pain
    of having your socks stolen.
[03:51] Ronaldo
    It pisses me off that the guy
    who doesn't wear socks is saying this.
[03:55] Nudenium
    We need to get his socks back...
    by daybreak, probably.
[03:59] Ronaldo
    Just how much pain does
    losing your socks cause?!
[04:02] Draluc
    Don't...
[04:05] Draluc
    Don't worry about me...
[04:08] Draluc
    What's important is taking realistic
    countermeasures in this situation.
[04:12] Ronaldo
    Go buy a new pair at the convenience store!
[04:15] Nudenium
    Hunter, what are you saying?!
[04:16] Etiquette Breacher
    Are you telling him to
    abandon his stolen socks?!
[04:19] Ronaldo
    Just what are socks to you people anyway?!
[04:21] Ronaldo
    What happens when you lose
    one of a pair normally?!
[04:24] Ronaldo
    But it's true that we need
    to do something about her.
[04:27] Ronaldo
    Before the good vampires
    of Shin-Yoko get attacked...
[04:32] Ronaldo
    Well, I can't tell with these images
    whether they're good or not...
[04:35] Yakyuken Lover
    Stop!
[04:36] Tabiko
    I win. I'll take these tabi socks!
[04:40] Ronaldo
    Oh, this guy, huh?
[04:42] Yakyuken Lover
    It's against the rules!
[04:43] Yakyuken Lover
    In yakyuken, the loser gets
    to choose what order to strip in.
[04:47] Yakyuken Lover
    To say nothing of stealing!
[04:48] Yakyuken Lover
    It's blasphemy against yakyuken!
    Unforgivable cultural destruction!
[04:53] Ronaldo
    It's not often that you get to see
    such pointless angry wailing.
[04:57] Tabiko
    Next is you over there!
[04:59] Tabiko
    Sock garters are just scraps of paper to me!
[05:06] Micro Bikini
    I-Is that all you've got?
[05:10] Micro Bikini
    Even without socks, I've got my bikini!
[05:14] Micro Bikini
    As long as I've got my bikini, I'm immortal!
[05:17] Ronaldo
    Oh, he held out against the attack!
[05:19] Tabiko
    Guys like that... I'll defeat normally!
[05:25] Tabiko
    I sense a vampire!
[05:28] Ronaldo
    Passionate Kiss!
[05:29] Ronaldo
    Socks don't matter here!
[05:32] Passionate Kiss
    No, it's cold right now, so I'm wearing them.
[05:35] Ronaldo
    Those are your legs?!
[05:36] Tabiko
    A huge harvest!
[05:39] Ronaldo
    Kiss!
[05:41] Etiquette Breacher
    I-I'll take off my socks first
    as a preemptive measure!
[05:45] Etiquette Breacher
    Now you can't take them off--
[05:46] Etiquette Breacher
    She just took them normally!
[05:48] Ronaldo
    Of course she did!
[05:49] Draluc
    Damn it, why?
[05:51] Draluc
    Why is she taking socks from innocent vampires?
[05:54] Ronaldo
    Getting socks involved turned
    this serious matter into a joke!
[05:58] Tabiko
    Very well, I'll tell you.
[06:01] Tabiko
    When I was a young hunter,
    I once fought an ancient, powerful vampire.
[06:05] Sign
    "Vampire - 'Raven of the Solar Eclipse' Ventrue"
[06:06] Tabiko
    I was at my wits' end.
[06:09] Tabiko
    I was driven into a corner by the guy, who
    seemed to be mocking me with every attack.
[06:13] Tabiko
    I tried stealing his socks,
    thinking it wouldn't do any good.
[06:16] Tabiko
    He became so weak, I couldn't believe it.
[06:18] Tabiko
    Seeing that, I thought...
[06:22] Tabiko
    ..."I'm so aroused."
[06:23] Ronaldo
    That's a fetish!
[06:25] Tabiko
    Yeah, it is!
[06:26] Tabiko
    The only thing I'd give up my job and suddenly
    do something so erratic for is a fetish!
[06:30] Ronaldo
    Don't become defiant!
[06:33] Mr. Lewd Talk
    It looks like I wasn't needed here.
[06:36] Ronaldo
    What'd you come here for, bastard?
[06:40] Ronaldo
    Idiot!
[06:42] Tabiko
    I got a lot today, too!
    Farewell, young hunter!
[06:45] Ronaldo
    Damn it, what poise she has!
[06:48] Draluc
    I... I have a plan...
[06:55] Odd Creature
    Will that creature really come for these?
[06:58] Ronaldo
    Yeah. She'll definite come take off your socks.
[07:03] Ronaldo
    Don't get aroused by that!
[07:05] Tabiko
    I'll take those!
[07:09] Tabiko
    You... have no legs!
[07:11] Draluc
    Dnass...!
[07:14] Draluc
    Yes! I've taken them back!
[07:17] Ronaldo
    All right!
[07:18] Ronaldo
    Now, what'll you do next?!
[07:22] Draluc
    What should I do...?
[07:23] Ronaldo
    Idiot!
[07:25] Draluc
    If you're going to steal socks,
    do it after you've defeated Ronaldo!
[07:31] Tabiko
    You're interesting!
[07:32] Tabiko
    I thought you were small fry
    that turned to ashes in no time,
[07:35] Tabiko
    but that's not bad.
[07:36] Tabiko
    Old vampires tend to rest on their laurels,
[07:39] Tabiko
    and most aren't able to do
    anything once they're cornered.
[07:42] Tabiko
    But you're different, aren't you?
[07:44] Tabiko
    You're not strong, but that was a good fight.
[07:46] Tabiko
    I'll let you have your socks back for now.
[07:50] Tabiko
    When you've gotten too proud,
    I'll come back and steal them again.
[07:53] Tabiko
    Farewell, for real this time!
[07:58] Ronaldo
    That's no good!
[08:04] Sign

    "Shin-Yokohama Police"
[08:05] Sign
    "'Wee' Are the State"
    "Shin-Yokohama Police"
[08:05] Employee
    Sorry to bother you while you're busy.
[08:07] Hinaichi
    It's fine. When you're in a different
    department, the processes are different, too.
[08:10] Hinaichi
    The documents are on the second
    shelf from the top over there.
[08:13] Employee
    This one, right?
[08:16] Hinaichi
    Wee-wee!
[08:17] Employee
    Wh-What did you say?
[08:18] Hinaichi
    S-Sorry, it's like a spasm that
    comes out when I'm surprised.
[08:22] Hinaichi
    Oh, that one, too. Take out
    that big wee you have there.
[08:26] Employee
    Sorry, it's not very big!
[08:28] Hinaichi
    No, I meant "file"!
    I was trying to say "file"!
[08:31] Hinaichi
    Wee...!
[08:34] Hinaichi
    And well, at this rate, I'll just
    cause more misunderstandings...
[08:37] Hinaichi
    Please! Help me fix this!
[08:40] Ronaldo
    Hmm, but that's an aftereffect of the vampire,
    Mr. Lewd Talk's hypnosis, right?
[08:46] Ronaldo
    Even if you ask me to fix it, I don't know how.
[08:48] Hinaichi
    Wee...
[08:50] Sign
    "Picture in his mind"
[08:50] Draluc
    If you have another hypnosis user examine you,
    they might be able to do something.
[08:53] Draluc
    --But if it doesn't work, you'll end up like this.
[08:55] Ronaldo/Draluc
    --Wee-wee!
    --But if it doesn't work, you'll end up like this.
[08:56] Ronaldo
    Why am I the example?!
[08:58] Draluc
    Now, speaking of a respectable hypnotist...
[09:03] Draus
    The heavens call! The earth calls!
[09:05] Draus
    My son calls... so I am here!
[09:08] Draluc
    We're counting on you, Father.
[09:11] Hinaichi
    Can your father use hypnosis?
[09:13] Draluc
    My father has pretty much all
    the abilities a vampire could have.
[09:18] Draluc
    That's right! He's the
    Armamentalist of vampires!
[09:20] Draluc
    The Red Mage!
    A prince descended from a hero!
[09:24] Draus
    Stop, you're embarrassing me.
[09:26] Ronaldo
    She was hypnotized a while back,
    and it's never really gone away.
[09:30] Hinaichi
    Um, it was the vampire named Mr. Lewd Tal--
[09:32] Draus
    What?!
[09:33] Draus
    That crazy idiot! It was him again?
[09:36] Draus
    That moron! Jerk! Yellow!
[09:40] Draus
    Miss, I will definitely solve your problem!
    I swear on my pride as a vampire lord!
[09:46] Hinaichi
    Th-Thanks...
[09:49] Draus
    Look at this flame.
[09:52] Draus
    There was no repulsive spell... cast on you...
[09:56] Draus
    You're completely normal...
[09:59] Draus
    Now, try saying what's inside your heart.
[10:02] Hinaichi
    Wee-wee.
[10:05] Hinaichi
    Wee.
[10:07] Hinaichi
    Wee.
[10:08] Hinaichi
    Wee-wee.
[10:10] Draus
    I'm a worm...
[10:12] Daluc
    Father!
[10:13] Draus
    It's all wrong, no matter what I do.
    I'm the worst. Scum.
[10:16] Sign
    "Wrong" "Worst" "Scum"
[10:19] Ronaldo
    A vampire lord's pride is really fragile.
[10:21] Draluc
    But I can't believe that not
    even Father can fix you.
[10:24] Hinaichi
    If you can't do it, it's fine...
[10:26] Draus
    No, there's still something I haven't tried!
[10:28] Hinaichi/Draus
    --Wee!
    --I'll treat you while leaving
    his hypnosis in place!
[10:28] Sign
    "Wee!"
[10:29] Draus
    --I'll treat you while leaving
    his hypnosis in place!
[10:31] Draus
    --I'll overwrite the word you blurt out
    with another, better word.
[10:33] Hinaichi/Draus
    --Nu--
    --I'll overwrite the word you blurt out
    with another, better word.
[10:33] Sign
    "Nu--"
[10:35] Draluc
    Can you really fix the bug in her like that?
[10:38] Draus
    It'll be hard if the word is too different.
[10:40] Draus
    I have to choose a word that sounds
    like "wee" but is inoffensive.
[10:44] Hinaichi
    All right, let's write some down!
[10:44] Sign
    "Weevil"
    "Weensy"
    "Wee are the state"
[10:46] Ronaldo
    That looks like a grade schooler's notebook.
[10:48] Hinaichi
    Yes, I like this one.
[10:50] Draus
    Here I go. We'll overwrite the
    hypnosis with a different word.
[10:54] Draus
    And then, be surprised.
[10:56] Hinaichi
    Weekend roast!
[10:58] Ronaldo
    Oh, it worked!
[10:59] Hinaichi
    Weekend roast. Weekend roast!
[11:02] Hinaichi
    You're right! It's been
    overwritten, weekend roast!
[11:04] Draluc
    It's true that it's better than "wee."
[11:07] Draluc
    It makes you seem like you're
    always hungry, though.
[11:09] Hinaichi
    Weekend roast!
[11:10] Ronaldo
    If she keeps repeating that,
    I'll get hungry, too.
[11:13] Hinaichi
    I want to eat wee-wee, too.
[11:15] Daluc/Draus
    You can't!
[11:16] Hinaichi
    No, what I want to eat is wee-nese--
    no, wee-bowl and wee-wee noodles!
[11:21] Draluc
    Put her back! Put her back
    to how she was before!
[11:25] Hinaichi
    Wee.
[11:26] Ronaldo
    She's back.
[11:27] Draluc
    In the end, she just switched
    "wee" and "weekend roast."
[11:32] Draus
    I'm just a drenched bathmat...
[11:35] Draluc
    Father has melted from the feeling of defeat.
[11:38] Hinaichi
    Sorry for asking something so difficult.
[11:40] Draus
    I-It's not difficult! I can do it!
    I'll work hard and figure something out...
[11:45] Draus
    I know!
[11:46] Draus
    I can use that guy's spell to fix it.
[11:49] Draus
    You were hypnotized to say lewd things--
[11:51] Draus
    In other words, you can't help but
    say things you think are perverted.
[11:55] Draus
    In this world, there are things
    that don't look erotic at first
[11:59] Draus
    but there are people who think they are erotic.
[12:01] Draus
    Some famous examples are
    dendrophiliacs and symphorophiliacs.
[12:06] Ronaldo
    Why do you know so much about them?
[12:08] Draus
    In other words, you would awaken your fetish
    for something other people don't think is erotic
[12:12] Draus
    and replace the word you blurt out with that.
[12:15] Hinaichi
    I don't wanna!
[12:17] Draus
    Well, it'd just be a little bit for
    the part related to the aftereffects...
[12:22] Draus
    If there's anything you can think of
    that the world doesn't think is erotic
[12:24] Draus
    but that you might feel is a
    little erotic, let me know.
[12:28] Ronaldo
    That's totally sexual harassment.
[12:29] Draus
    No! That's not my intent at all!
[12:31] Hinaichi
    W-Well... I kind of like how men's hands
    are kind of rugged and knobby...
[12:35] Sign
    "These parts"
    "This part"
[12:37] Ronaldo
    Oh, that's not bad.
[12:39] Draus
    Don't worry. I'll definitely make this work.
[12:41] Draus
    If I fail, I'll be a loser, scum,
    a disposable chopstick splinter...
[12:46] Ronaldo
    Why are you triggering your own defeat flag?
[12:49] Draus
    Take this!
[12:51] Draus
    Well?
[12:52] Hinaichi
    Y-Yeah, I feel kind of strange, knob.
[12:55] Ronaldo
    Oh... well, it's better than "wee."
[12:57] Draluc
    She sounds like someone from Shimadzu.
[12:59] Hinaichi
    At this rate, knob,
    even if I blurt out knobby wrist,
[13:03] Hinaichi
    it's not that knobby weird hand rugged fingers!
[13:05] Ronaldo/Hinaichi
    --No, this isn't good either.
    --Knob, knob, knobby hands!
[13:07] Ronaldo
    You sound like a grotesque homicidal maniac now!
[13:09] Hinaichi
    Knobby hands!
[13:10] Ronaldo
    Whoa, you're strong!
[13:11] Ronaldo
    Ow!
[13:13] Ronaldo/Hinaichi
    --Ouch!
    --Knob...
[13:14] Draluc/Hinaichi
    --Sand...
    --Knob, knob...
[13:16] Hinaichi
    Wrist wee-wee knob!
[13:18] Ronaldo
    It's no good!
[13:20] Draus
    I... am a forgotten pimple
    at the back of the chin...
[13:26] Hinaichi
    Knob, wee-wee, knob...
[13:27] Draluc
    Thank you, Father. Let's give this up.
[13:30] Hinaichi/Ronaldo
    --Wee-wee. Knob, knob.
    --You did your best.
    The Lewd Talk Beam is too strong.
[13:33] Draus
    No, I've got an idea that could turn the tables!
[13:37] Draus
    Just make everyone say "wee-wee"!
[13:40] Draluc
    What're you saying, you letdown?!
[13:41] Draus
    The mist made from my blood
    will create an area of hypnosis
[13:45] Draus
    where it's made known that "wee-wee"
    is a word of power to be proud of!
[13:50] Draluc
    Stop that! Idiot Father, return to your senses!
[13:53] Draus
    I will cover Shin-Yokohama with my blood!
[13:57] Roanldo
    Idiot! What have you done, wee-wee?!
[14:02] Businessman A
    Sorry, sir, it'll be wee-wee...
[14:05] Office Lady A
    The weather's kind of wee-wee, huh?
[14:07] Sign
    "Vamima!!!"
    "Rice Ball Festival"
[14:07] Vamima Manager
    How many wee chopsticks would you like?
[14:09] Customer
    Two wees.
[14:10] Maria
    You're really wee-wee today.
[14:11] Ta Chan
    Praise won't get you anywhere.
[14:13] Kantaro
    Oh, Tsujita! You're really wee-wee!
[14:16] Sign
    "Shin-Yokohama Kamone Vision"
    "The seal, Wee-Wee,
    has strayed into Tsurumi River"
[14:16] Newscaster
    --The seal, Wee-Wee, was swimming
    leisurely in Tsurumi River today, too.
[14:19] Newscaster/Etiquette Breacher
    --Satetsu, Bro, say "wee-wee."
    --The seal, Wee-Wee, was swimming
    leisurely in Tsurumi River today, too.
[14:22] Satetsu
    Wee-wee.
[14:25] Bunny Girl
    This year's Shin-Yokohama
    Buzzword Award goes to...
[14:30] Sign
    "Shin-Yokohama Buzzword Award"
    "wee-wee"
    "Can be used for anything" "Nuance is trendy"
[14:30] Bunny Girl
    ..."wee-wee"!
[14:37] Draus
    Please forgive me...
    I don't know what I was doing...
[14:40] Draluc
    Well, you did something.
[14:43] Hinaichi
    Weekend roast...
[14:44] Ronaldo
    Oh, it looks like it got a little better.
[14:47] Sign
    "Oden"
[14:50] Mr. Lewd Talk
    This drink is delicious!
[14:50] Sign
    "Award"
    "Hinaichi"
    "Shin-Yokohama Buzzword Award" "wee-wee"
[14:55] Sign
    "John, You've Gotten Dog"
[15:04] Draluc
    John, you want to eat pancakes?
[15:09] Draluc
    While Ronaldo's out...
[15:11] Draluc
    Hm? John, you've gotten fat.
[15:16] Draluc
    John, you're cute even when you're plump,
    but it's bad for your health if you get too fat.
[15:26] Draluc
    I've been trying to make sure you eat right,
    but is Ronaldo feeding you other things?
[15:31] Draluc
    That thoughtless bastard.
[15:35] Draluc
    In any case, no snacks for you
    for a while, okay, John?
[15:38] Draluc
    Huh?
[15:41] Draluc
    Wait, John!
[15:44] Sign
    "Cute Dog Video"
[15:46] Staff
    Director, the 'madillo's here.
[15:49] Yomotsuzaka
    Huh?
[15:49] Sign
    "Nu-nu-nu!" "Nu-nu..."
[15:53] Yomotsuzaka
    A drug to make you thinner?
    There's no such thing.
[15:56] Yomotsuzaka
    Eat less and exercise.
[15:58] Yomotsuzaka
    But there is a drug to reduce
    your caloric intake.
[16:03] Yomotsuzaka
    Now, drink this, fool.
[16:08] Yomotsuzaka
    How do you feel?
[16:10] Yomotsuzaka
    Well, it's not like you can say.
[16:13] Yomotsuzaka
    It's a special sedative I created myself.
[16:15] Yomotsuzaka
    You won't resist anything right now.
[16:19] Yomotsuzaka
    Vampire familiar!
[16:21] Yomotsuzaka
    That system lets you share
    abilities, perception,
[16:23] Yomotsuzaka
    and even your lifespan with your master!
[16:25] Yomotsuzaka
    How shall I research you completely...?
[16:28] Yomotsuzaka
    Guinea pig!
[16:30] Yomotsuzaka
    Wait there while I make
    preparations. Be good now.
[16:40] Yomotsuzaka
    Huh?
[16:41] Yomotsuzaka
    Don't tell me watching this video
    made you think you're a dog.
[16:46] Yomotsuzaka
    Wait, what's with that weak mental strength?
[16:49] Yomotsuzaka
    No, I'll ignore it and do my experiments.
[16:51] Yomotsuzaka
    He's not a dog. He's just a member
    of the Cingulata order...
[16:56] Yomotsuzaka
    If you can't get it off, then don't
    put your head in in the first place.
[16:59] Yomotsuzaka
    Even if you keep up that dog act,
    I'm not going to change my min--
[17:04] Yomotsuzaka
    No! I didn't throw it to play fetch with you!
[17:08] Yomotsuzaka
    Don't forget what you came here for!
[17:12] Yomotsuzaka
    Y-You idiot dog! I mean, armadillo!
[17:17] Yomotsuzaka
    The VRC's slogan is "Make light of human life."
[17:20] Yomotsuzaka
    It doesn't matter what I research
    outside of that, either.
[17:25] Yomotsuzaka
    But I can't experiment on dogs!
    It reminds me of a dog I had as a pet.
[17:29] Yomotsuzaka
    I can't make light of dogs.
[17:33] Yomotsuzaka
    Get back there, now! I know,
    let's watch a video of armadillos.
[17:40] Yomotsuzaka
    What're you scared of, idiot dog?!
[17:43] Yomotsuzaka
    No, wait--!
[17:45] Mr. Lewd Talk
    So you're asking if we can fix him?
[17:49] Yakyuken Lover
    I never thought you'd ask us for help, Director.
[17:50] Sign
    "Vampires who did something bad
    and are being detained at the VRC"
[17:53] Nudenium
    Nun, you think you're a dog?
[17:56] Yomotsuzaka
    The idiot dog's autosuggestion
    seems similar to your hypnosis.
[18:00] Yomotsuzaka
    Therefore, it's possible that you'll
    be able to help with the treatment.
[18:04] Yomotsuzaka
    Cry for joy and work. Also, I'm not asking.
    This is an order. Do you get it, fools?
[18:09] Yakyuken Lover
    You need to work on your communication skills.
[18:13] Mr. Lewd Talk
    A dog fetish? Yomotsuzaka, you've a got
    a pretty lewd heart, don't you?
[18:18] Mr. Lewd Talk
    Makes me want to make that
    armadillo say "wee-wee"--
[18:23] Mr. Lewd Talk
    All right. The autosuggestion might
    come off with some lewd talk.
[18:27] Yomotsuzaka
    Hey, never mind.
[18:30] Yakyuken Lover
    I'm Yakyuken Lover.
[18:32] Yakyuken Lover
    I love the thrill and eroticism
    of stripping and being stripped!
[18:34] Yomotsuzaka
    Huh? Why are you introducing yourself?
[18:36] Yomotsuzaka
    Oh, it's the effect of your hypnosis?
[18:38] Nudenium
    The round pistil peeking out from
    between the petals is so bewitching, I--
[18:45] Yomotsuzaka
    I don't care about your innermost thoughts.
[18:48] Mr. Lewd Talk
    Dogs don't have the concept
    of "lewd talk," do they?
[18:51] Yomotsuzaka
    Guess not.
[18:52] Mr. Lewd Talk
    Ah, how boring. I'm going to sleep.
[18:55] Yomotsuzaka
    He's so useless. I shouldn't have
    had even a speck of hope for him.
[18:58] Yomotsuzaka
    That's enough. You better
    get some results, fool.
[19:01] Yakyuken Lover
    Yeah, leave it to me.
[19:03] Yakyuken Lover
    Good thing I was caught playing street yakyuken.
[19:07] Yomotsuzaka
    It's not good at all.
    You and Lewd Talk get caught too much.
[19:11] Yakyuken Lover
    Now, what shall I do?
[19:13] Yakyuken Lover
    It's hard to get rid of autosuggestion.
    It'd be bad if I messed up and made it worse.
[19:18] Yakyuken Lover
    Okay, maybe playing yakyuken will get rid of it.
[19:22] Yakyuken Lover
    Yoyoinoyoi!
[19:23] Yomotsuzaka
    That's enough.
[19:24] Yakyuken Lover
    Oh, you're so cute! It's a draw!
[19:27] Yakyuken Lover
    I want to give him a treat.
[19:29] Yomotsuzaka
    No. I'm the only one who can
    give treats to dogs here--
[19:29] Sign
    "Dog Bones Wasshoi"
[19:33] Nudenium
    Look, it's one of my seeds.
[19:35] Yomotsuzaka
    Stop that, fool!
[19:36] Yomotsuzaka
    Why are you treating seeds
    from his crotch like a cure-all?!
[19:40] Yomotsuzaka
    Come on, idiot dog! Spit it out!
[19:43] Yomotsuzaka
    I'll experiment on you instead. Do your job!
[19:46] Yakyuken Lover
    Even if you say that...
[19:48] Yakyuken Lover
    What if I get my little brother to
    come, too? Maybe he can fix him.
[19:52] Yomotsuzaka
    Little brother?
[19:53] Yakyuken Lover
    An exhibitionist vampire
    who always wears a micro bikini.
[19:56] Yomotsuzaka
    Don't call him!
[19:57] Mr. Lewd Talk
    Wait a minute, an exhibitionist?
    What kind of lewd talk is that?
[20:01] Yomotsuzaka
    I'm going home.
[20:03] Yomotsuzaka
    What a waste of time. They're all useless.
[20:06] Yomotsuzaka
    I thought I could experiment
    on a familiar, but...
[20:10] Yomotsuzaka
    Hey, idiot dog.
[20:14] Yomotsuzaka
    If you don't get better... will you be my...?
[20:20] Staff
    There are trespassers in
    the facility! Here's a video!
[20:24] Draluc
    John! Where are you?!
    I'm sure I saw you go in!
[20:27] Draluc
    Let's go home before the crazy director
    starts experimenting on you!
[20:30] Draluc
    John--!
[20:32] Sign
    "Vampire to Repel or Capture Trespassers
    Cap-chan"
[20:35] Draluc
    What is this thing? Help me, John!
[20:48] Draluc
    Oh, John!
[20:55] Draluc
    Wahh, John!
[20:56] Yomotsuzaka
    Let them go, Cap-chan.
[20:58] Yomotsuzaka
    There's no need to capture them.
[21:03] Draluc
    I won't let you have John!
    You want to experiment on him, don't you?
[21:06] Yomotsuzaka
    I did, but I've lost interest.
[21:10] Yomotsuzaka
    Also, an obese pet is the
    responsibility of the owner, fool.
[21:13] Yomotsuzaka
    Make sure he has appropriate food and exercise.
[21:16] Draluc
    You don't have to tell me that!
[21:19] Yomotsuzaka
    Hurry up and go home!
[21:25] Draluc
    Sorry, John, I was inconsiderate.
[21:29] Draluc
    I'll make some diet pancakes
    for you when we get home!
[21:33] Yomotsuzaka
    Jeez...
[21:35] Yomotsuzaka
    What a pointless waste of time.
[21:38] Yomotsuzaka
    You're the only dog for me, Koro.
[21:44] Ronaldo
    Hey, come out, you damn director!
[21:50] Draluc
    Ultra-rude dog mask! What in
    the world did you do to John?!
[23:28] Ronaldo
    No matter what happens...
[23:28] Sign
    "God's divine revelation"
[23:31] Ronaldo
    ...protecting the public...
[23:31] Sign
    "Or human wisdom"
[23:34] Ronaldo
    ...is what a hunter does.
[23:35] Draluc
    The vampire dies in no time.

E8 - Oh! Nude

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Ronaldo
    What, is that a baby Nudenium?
[00:04] Draluc
    I'd call that a large Nudenium.
[00:06] Ronaldo
    Damn it! I don't know what's going on,
    but I can't leave it alone!
[00:09] Ronaldo
    Let's go exterminate it!
[00:10] Draluc
    Okay, I'll leave it to you.
[00:12] Ronaldo
    Hey! Legendary Draluc Shield!
[01:46] Draluc
    No...! I don't want to be involved!
[01:47] Sign
    "Oh! Nude"
[01:49] Draluc
    Not the butt!
[01:54] Draluc/Ronaldo
    --Sand! Sand! Sand!
    --Everyone, what's the situation?
[01:56] Batter
    Honestly, I just want to go home and sleep.
[01:59] Shot
    I can imagine what'll happen next.
[02:03] Ronaldo
    But this is our job.
[02:05] Ronaldo
    Anyway, we need to do something
    about that giant ass.
[02:09] Shot
    First, we've got to stop those legs somehow.
[02:11] Batter
    Right!
[02:12] Medoki
    I wonder... if this garlic ball will work!
[02:17] Draluc
    Oh, in an old pond, gathering in a buttcrack,
    are men called hunters.
[02:20] Ronaldo
    Shut up, damn sandpile!
[02:22] Draluc
    Sand!
[02:26] Ronaldo
    Oh, it stopped!
[02:30] Large Nudenium
    Nude!
[02:32] Ronaldo
    The butt got bigger!
[02:33] Draluc
    It's probably the butt's
    self-preservation instinct.
[02:36] Ronaldo
    What are you talking about?!
[02:37] Maria
    This is bad. Will it get bigger if we hit it?
[02:40] Ta Chan
    Can't attack. This is hard.
[02:46] Shoka
    My high-pressure water current
    might be able to stop it.
[02:50] Medoki
    Why are you giving water to a plant?!
[02:55] Ronaldo/Large Nudenium
    --It's gotten even bigger!
    --Nude!
[02:58] Shot
    It's coming!
[02:59] Draluc
    It's a seed machine gun!
[03:01] Shot
    I have a feeling something bad
    will happen if we get hit!
[03:03] Ronaldo
    Turn into a Lord Dral Barrier!
[03:05] Draluc
    No!
[03:07] Ta Chan
    Shot!
[03:08] Shot
    This always happens to me...
[03:11] Ronaldo
    Shot's blooming!
[03:13] Draluc
    He looks like a succulent plant pot.
[03:17] Ta Chan
    What's the matter, sea anemone?
[03:18] Draluc
    Oh, no. This flower's sucking his blood.
[03:22] Nudenium
    Stay calm! Swallow this.
[03:24] Roanldo
    Nudenium!
[03:31] Nudenium
    Humans. You'll be fine now.
[03:34] Nudenium
    Come, if you take my seeds,
    baby Nudenium's seeds won't work on you.
[03:38] Nudenium
    The rest of you take them, too!
[03:39] Ronaldo
    Thanks.
[03:40] Ronaldo
    Like anyone'd take these!
[03:42] Large Nudenium
    Nude!
[03:45] Nudenium
    Apologies for the damage one of mine is doing.
[03:49] Ronaldo
    What in the world happened?
[03:51] Nudenium
    I don't know.
[03:52] Nudenium
    A baby Nudenium that drank a supplement
    the director gave me suddenly grew big...
[03:57] Ronaldo
    It's all that crazy psycho idiot
    bastard's fault again!
[04:01] Nudenium
    Please. Will you carry me
    to baby Nudenium's side?
[04:05] Ronaldo
    Carry? How?
[04:06] Draluc
    I'd probably die just looking up.
[04:09] Batter
    What if I blow you away like a catapult?
[04:11] Nudenium
    Yes, please do that!
[04:13] Batter
    Okay, brace yourself!
[04:16] Batter
    Home Run Full Swing!
[04:18] Nudenium
    I'm on my way!
[04:23] Ronaldo
    Hey, that's no good!
[04:24] Large Nudenium
    Nude!
[04:27] Draluc
    A butt's gonna destroy Shin-Yoko!
[04:32] Maria
    Calm down!
[04:33] Maria
    If it's a vampire, then there's
    definitely a way to exterminate it!
[04:36] Ronaldo/Draluc/Shot/Satetsu
    Maria!
[04:37] Draluc
    Sand!
[04:39] Shot
    Did you swallow the seed?!
[04:41] Maria
    It keeps you from getting caught
    by the big guy's seed attack, right?
[04:44] Ronaldo
    You've got guts, but please be good to yourself!
[04:49] Yomotsuzaka
    Foolish bastards, you look like
    you're all having a hard time.
[04:53] Ronaldo/Yomotsuzaka
    --Whose fault do you think that is?!
    --Stop!
[04:56] Yomotsuzaka
    I've brought a drug to neutralize that vampire.
[05:01] Ronaldo
    Shut up! You caused this!
[05:02] Ta Chan
    When this is over, I'll beat you up! Just wait!
[05:04] Satetsu
    Now, now.
[05:05] Yomotsuzaka
    Hmph. Just get this close and stick it in.
[05:09] Yomotsuzaka
    Get it, fools?
[05:10] Medoki
    It's hard to get close to that!
[05:13] Shot
    Damn it, I guess I have to go.
[05:16] Maria
    I can go, too!
[05:17] Satetsu
    Wait. If you're hit by a seed,
    that'll cause damage in and of itself.
[05:21] Yomotsuzaka
    There's only one dose of this drug.
[05:24] Yomotsuzaka
    Make sure you get it right
    the first time, fools.
[05:26] Yomotsuzaka
    Huh?
[05:27] Ronaldo
    Protecting the public no matter
    what happens is what hunters do!
[05:32] Ronaldo
    Shot! Maria! I've learned from you two.
[05:37] Shot
    Wait, Ronaldo!
[05:43] Shot
    Putting his life on the line
    to protect the town!
[05:46] Satetsu
    Ronaldo, look out!
[05:49] Maria
    Wow! He's dodging the storm of seeds!
[05:54] Shot
    You can do it! You can get close!
[05:57] Shoka
    Wait... if he could dodge them,
    then what's the point in being nude?
[06:13] Ronaldo
    Did it work?
[06:16] Large Nudenium
    Nude...
[06:20] Shot
    Can it still move?
[06:22] Nudenium
    Baby Nudenium!
[06:24] Shot
    Nudenium! When did you get there?!
[06:26] Large Nudenium
    Nude...
[06:28] Ronaldo
    Look out!
[06:29] Ronaldo
    Run, Nudenium!
[06:32] Nudenium
    It's okay. Calm down.
[06:35] Nudenium
    You're safe now that I'm here.
[06:38] Large Nudenium
    Nude...
[06:42] Ronaldo
    Nudenium!
[06:49] Nudenium
    Sorry to cause you all trouble.
[06:52] Ronaldo
    Oh, good. Are you okay?!
[06:54] Nudenium
    --Yes. The baby Nudenium also seems
    refreshed after shedding all that.
[06:55] Large Nudenium/Nudenium
    --Nude, nude, nude, nude!
    --Yes. The baby Nudenium also seems
    refreshed after shedding all that.
[06:59] Nudenium
    Hunters! You all have good flower poses.
[07:03] Ronaldo
    Idiot! We'll be able to go
    back to normal, right?
[07:06] Maria
    Well, I'm just glad everything seems fine.
[07:11] Yomotsuzaka
    Anyway, this case looks like it's closed.
[07:16] Yomotsuzaka
    Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow...
    Wait! Listen, you fools!
[07:20] Yomotsuzaka
    We won this time thanks to me...
[07:23] Yomotsuzaka
    Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow...
[07:25] Yomotsuzaka
    This might have a bad effect
    on my brain-- Ow, ow! Stop!
[07:30] Yomotsuzaka
    Help me, Satetsu!
[07:31] Sign
    "Maybe that enough already?"
[07:36] Sign
    "Handa's Dadandandan Da-Talk"
[07:36] Handa
    My name is Tou Handa.
[07:38] Handa
    I'm a dhampir who's a part of Vamp Control.
[07:40] Handa
    And this is my mother,
    the best mother in the world.
[07:45] Handa
    My mother recently started
    attending a knitting class.
[07:49] Handa
    It seems like she's having fun. I'm glad.
[07:52] Akemi
    I made a friend in class.
[07:55] Akemi
    I'm meeting up with my friend tonight
    to learn more about knitting!
[07:59] Handa
    That's great, Mom. What's your friend like?
[08:03] Akemi
    He's a man older than me.
[08:05] Handa
    What?
[08:06] Akemi
    He's very good at knitting.
[08:09] Handa
    Can I go with you tonight?
    I'm interested in knitting, too.
[08:13] Akemi
    Oh, really? You were in the arts
    and crafts club, weren't you?
[08:17] Akemi
    --I'll ask him.
[08:18] Akemi/Handa
    --That man might be a scoundrel
    who's after my mother.
    --I'll ask him.
[08:20] Handa
    --That man might be a scoundrel
    who's after my mother.
[08:23] Handa
    I must protect my mother.
[08:27] Akemi
    Oh, Mr. Yuzawa? Hello!
[08:31] Mr. Lewd Talk
    Good evening, Mrs. Handa.
[08:33] Handa
    You bastard!
[08:36] Handa
    This man is the vampire, Mr. Lewd Talk!
[08:39] Handa
    He hypnotizes people so they
    can only say lewd things,
[08:42] Handa
    and he's a dirty bastard who is notorious
    even at the Vampire Control Division!
[08:46] Handa
    What're you planning to do getting close
    to my mother, you vulgar man?!
[08:51] Akemi
    Momo, this is Mr. Yuzawa.
[08:53] Mr. Lewd Talk
    Nice to meet you, Tou.
[08:55] Handa
    Get away from him, Mom!
    He's a perverted old man!
[08:59] Akemi
    Momo?
[09:00] Mr. Lewd Talk
    Oh, dear. Does this old body
    look so spirited to you?
[09:04] Handa
    You bastard!
[09:06] Akemi
    Do you know Mr. Yuzawa?
[09:08] Handa
    This guy--
[09:10] Handa
    No, that...
[09:12] Mr. Lewd Talk
    Are you nervous?
    Come, let's go inside the cafe.
[09:18] Handa
    Damn it, if this man tries anything on
    my mother, I'll kill him immediately!
[09:24] Mr. Lewd Talk
    Go ahead and take a seat, Mrs. Handa.
[09:26] Handa
    Be careful, Mom! Something obscene
    might be hidden in the chair!
[09:31] Mr. Lewd Talk
    One roll cake set--
[09:33] Handa
    What do you mean, "roll cake"?!
    Is that a metaphor for penis, you pervert?!
[09:36] Mr. Lewd Talk
    Did you bring you knitting needles today?
[09:39] Handa
    Why are you talking about needles?!
    This guy's completely guilty, Mom!
[09:44] Handa
    No, Mom!
[09:46] Akemi
    Momo, what's wrong?
[09:48] Handa
    I... uh...
[09:51] Mr. Lewd Talk
    Don't worry about it.
[09:53] Mr. Lewd Talk
    Maybe he's worried since we
    seem to get along so well.
[09:57] Akemi
    I'm sorry, Mr. Yuzawa.
[10:00] Akemi
    Momo?
[10:01] Handa
    The damn weasel. What is he planning?!
[10:05] Handa
    Bastard... I need to get him away
    from my mother without shocking her...
[10:11] Sagyo
    Maybe I'll buy some unusual food
    for you this time, Burdy.
[10:17] Handa
    Oh, I suddenly really want to buy a guppy!
[10:21] Akemi
    Momo?
[10:23] Sagyo
    Handa? What do you want out of the blue?!
[10:26] Handa
    I'm hunting a perverted old man!
[10:27] Sagyo
    What?
[10:29] Akemi
    About that knitting method
    you taught me the other day...
[10:32] Sagyo
    Is that Mr. Lewd Talk?
[10:33] Handa
    Go separate him from my mother in a natural way
[10:37] Handa
    and kill him and feed him
    to an ostrich or something.
[10:39] Sagyo
    That's scary!
[10:40] Sagyo
    But I do worry about what he's planning.
    I'll try just questioning him for now.
[10:47] Sagyo
    Excuse me.
[10:49] Sagyo
    Do you have a moment?
[10:50] Akemi
    Oh, are you from the Vampire Control Division?
[10:53] Sagyo
    Yes.
[10:58] Sagyo
    I want to be sandwiched between ripe breasts.
[11:01] Handa
    Sagyo...!
[11:03] Akemi
    Huh? Momo?
[11:06] Handa
    You idiot! You were totally
    caught in his hypnosis!
[11:10] Sagyo
    N-No! I've just always liked
    soft and bouncy things!
[11:14] Handa
    Shut up! Don't you go
    near my mother, either!
[11:17] Handa
    Damn it! It's easy to catch him,
[11:20] Handa
    but Mom will be sad if she finds out
    her friend is a pervert.
[11:23] Sagyo
    Yes. I also love sexy older women...
[11:28] Sagyo
    Um, if you're going to get into bondage,
    I think you should start tight--
[11:31] Handa
    Write it down!
[11:33] Sign
    "A childhood friend (older) who looks
    proper but is actually perverted"
[11:34] Handa
    Forget it. Next plan!
[11:37] Handa
    You hide somewhere and wait.
[11:39] Handa
    Once I get back to my seat,
    I'll distract my mother.
[11:43] Handa
    While she's distracted,
    you tackle the old man and beat him up!
[11:46] Sagyo
    Hot pot with girls going commando!
[11:48] Handa
    Okay, that's enough!
[11:52] Akemi
    Oh, Momo, earlier--
[11:54] Handa
    Oh, an out of season butterfly!
[11:56] Akemi
    Huh?
[11:57] Handa
    Now, Sagyo!
[11:58] Sagyo
    No, even if you signal me now...
[12:01] Middle-Aged Woman A
    Oh, dear, what are you doing here?
[12:05] Sagyo
    I love older women with big breasts!
[12:07] Middle-Aged Woman A
    Oh, my, this boy's so passionate!
[12:09] Middle-Aged Woman B
    Very well!
[12:10] Middle-Aged Woman C
    We'll teach you what true love is!
[12:15] Handa
    Sagyo, you idiot!
[12:17] Mr. Lewd Talk
    Now, how about I teach you
    a bit about knitting?
[12:25] Handa
    I can't let this go on any longer!
    I need to prioritize eliminating him!
[12:28] Handa
    Mom, get away from him!
[12:30] Handa
    This man is...
[12:33] Handa
    Shoot!
[12:35] Akemi
    Momo?
[12:38] Mr. Lewd Talk
    A beautiful married woman's lewd talk seems fun,
[12:41] Mr. Lewd Talk
    but the lewd talk her beloved son could spew
    in front of his mom sounds even more fun!
[12:49] Mr. Lewd Talk
    What's wrong, Tou?
    Does something about me bother you?
[12:53] Akemi
    Wh-What's the matter, Momo?
[12:55] Mr. Lewd Talk
    Look, your mother's worried, too.
    What happened?
[13:00] Mr. Lewd Talk
    Please explain. What did you
    want to say about me?
[13:04] Mr. Lewd Talk
    Don't hold back if you have something to say.
[13:06] Mr. Lewd Talk
    Not saying anything now will
    just create a misunderstanding.
[13:11] Mr. Lewd Talk
    Try saying it, Tou. Hurry!
    Say what's in your heart--
[13:18] Akemi
    I don't know what you did,
    but don't bully Tou!
[13:29] Mr. Lewd Talk
    You win! Oh, the love between parent and child.
[13:32] Mr. Lewd Talk
    I can't win against love.
    It's my loss this time.
[13:36] Mr. Lewd Talk
    Tou, I'll leave quietly.
[13:40] Mr. Lewd Talk
    You have a wonderful mother.
    Take good care of her.
[13:46] Handa
    Even I...
[13:51] Handa
    Even I want to be hugged close
    to Mom's chest some...
[13:57] Handa
    ...times...
[13:59] Mr. Lewd Talk
    Oh?
[14:06] Sign
    "Momo"
[14:07] Akemi
    Momo?
[14:11] Sign
    "Will the Moon Rise Again over Shin-Yoko?"
[14:12] Mikazuki
    How...
[14:13] Sign
    "Will the Moon Rise Again over Shin-Yoko?"
    "The War Chronicles of Ronaldo"
[14:13] Mikazuki
    How strong and cool is he!
[14:15] Sign

    "The War Chronicles of Ronaldo"
[14:16] Mikazuki
    Amazing! He's really an amazing hunter!
[14:21] Mikazuki
    I need to see him again! I need to see Ronaldo!
[14:25] Sign
    "Everyone welcome"
    "Ronaldo Vampire Hunter Agency"
[14:26] Mikazuki
    Please!
[14:28] Mikazuki
    Please make me your sidekick...
[14:30] Mikazuki
    No, your assistant...
    No, your apprentice!
[14:34] Ronaldo
    R-Right... But I'm not really so great
    as to take on apprentices...
[14:40] Mikazuki
    Please! I'll do anything!
[14:42] Draluc
    Oh, what wonderful youth and passion
    to be so moved by The Ronaldo Chronicles
[14:46] Draluc
    that you'd come back to Shin-Yoko!
[14:48] Draluc
    It's like reading Don't Abuse Psychology
    and wanting to become a psychologist.
[14:52] Ronaldo
    Shut up!
[14:54] Mikazuki
    Please! I want to learn
    your techniques up close!
[14:58] Draluc
    The Ronaldo Chronicles really strike a chord
    with the adolescent heart, huh?
[15:00] Draluc
    You'll want to hide this dark past later.
[15:02] Ronaldo
    I'll kill you, damn sandpile!
[15:04] Ronaldo
    But it's not like I can act like a teacher...
[15:08] Draluc
    Well, you are a gorilla who exterminates
    with the power of your arms and muscles.
[15:14] Mikazuki
    Then, I'll show you I can be
    more useful than that guy,
[15:16] Mikazuki
    so let me stay here instead of him!
[15:18] Ronaldo
    Oh, that's a good idea!
[15:19] Draluc
    What're you saying, Big Forehead Four-Eyes?!
[15:22] Mikazuki
    Then, what can you do for Ronaldo?!
[15:25] Draluc
    I do a lot of stuff!
    I stuck a lot of burrs onto Ronaldo's coat!
[15:29] Ronaldo
    Was that you?! You damn bastard!
[15:32] Draluc
    Sand!
[15:34] Draluc
    Think about this calmly, Ronaldo.
[15:36] Ronaldo
    Huh?!
[15:37] Draluc
    This office is basically
    already 90% Castle Draluc.
[15:41] Draluc
    In the first place, all your success
    and fame are thanks to me.
[15:46] Draluc
    If you're going to bow to me--
[15:53] Draluc
    That little pipsqueak and Ronaldo the Panic King
[15:56] Draluc
    are sure to become a pair
    of walking train wrecks.
[15:59] Draluc
    If you come crying to my greatness
    later, it'll be too Late-aldo--
[16:03] Mikazuki
    Ronaldo, please leave sensing vampires to me.
[16:07] Mikazuki
    I'm a dhampir, you know.
[16:09] Mikazuki
    And I organized your schedule for today.
[16:13] Ronaldo
    Sorry to make you do all
    the boring stuff. And thanks.
[16:16] Ronaldo
    Not only is that idiot useless,
[16:19] Ronaldo
    but he gets in the way no matter
    what I ask him to do.
[16:21] Ronaldo
    It's like all pain, no gain with him--
[16:23] Ronaldo
    Huh? Why haven't I kicked
    the freeloader out yet?
[16:27] Ronaldo
    This is seriously a great
    chance to get rid of him!
[16:31] Draluc
    Sand!
[16:32] Draluc
    At this rate, my agency will be taken
    by that Big Forehead Four-Eyes!
[16:36] Draluc
    I won't allow it! That place is John
    and my New Castle Draluc!
[16:36] Sign
    "Castle Draluc"
[16:42] Draluc
    And so, I've callled all my
    dependable compatriots!
[16:46] Draluc
    First off, Big Forehead Four-- Sand!
[16:49] Draluc
    Poke that Big Forehead Four-Eyes around
    and make him go back to Tokyo.
[16:54] Nudenium
    It's not good to gang up on a young
    person working hard, you know.
[16:59] Draluc
    Please stop with the sound
    arguments that make sense.
[17:02] Draluc
    Anyway, I'm not telling you guys to beat him up.
[17:05] Draluc
    I just want you to teach him more
    about how harsh Shin-Yoko is...
[17:09] Draluc
    Hey, are you listening?
[17:10] Draluc
    Huh? Where'd Kiss go?
[17:13] Passionate Kiss
    Handsome, handsome, man, man!
[17:14] Draluc
    You idiot!
[17:16] Ronaldo
    Stop that, hotdog!
[17:18] Ronaldo
    Don't touch Mikazuki!
[17:20] Passionate Kiss
    Oh, another handsome man!
[17:22] Passionate Kiss
    I'll take you on one at a time,
    so don't fight over me, Handsomes.
[17:26] Passionate Kiss
    Here, take a number.
[17:28] Ronaldo
    No thanks! I'll kill you!
[17:29] Mikazuki
    Please let me handle this.
[17:32] Passionate Kiss
    Welcome, Handsome!
[17:34] Mikazuki
    The key to beating you is to make myself
    what you wouldn't consider "handsome."
[17:39] Mikazuki
    A hunter... doesn't care about appearances!
[17:42] Sign
    "Sandwich"
[17:44] Passionate Kiss
    What?! A lame T-shirt?!
[17:46] Mikazuki
    And I've changed my glasses to an old pair!
[17:49] Pasionate Kiss
    Y-You're...
[17:51] Mikazuki
    Well, vampire? Now I'm not handsome anymore!
[17:55] Ronaldo
    Wait, that T-shirt's lame?
[17:57] Mikazuki
    Ronaldo?!
[17:58] Passionate Kiss
    You're like a refined younger man
    who lives in the apartment next door.
[18:03] Passionate Kiss
    You adore me and call me "Sis,"
[18:05] Passionate Kiss
    and secretly burn with
    passionate feelings for me!
[18:09] Passionate Kiss
    All right! You wanna marry me?!
[18:14] Mikazuki
    Oh, it worked!
[18:16] Mikazuki
    It worked, Ronaldo!
[18:18] Ronaldo
    Good job, Mikazuki!
[18:20] Ronaldo
    Also, I don't think that T-shirt's lame...
[18:23] Draluc
    Bastard! Their bond is even stronger now...
[18:27] Etiquette Breacher
    I, the great vampire, Etiquette Breacher,
    will show you what I can do!
[18:32] Draluc
    Oh, you're so dependable, Etiquette!
[18:34] Etiquette Breacher
    At least, I'll pretend to...
    and then I'll run away!
[18:39] Draluc
    You're useless!
[18:41] Draluc
    Please, Nudenium!
[18:45] Nudenium
    Young hunter.
[18:47] Baby Nudeniums/Nudenium
    --Nude, nude, nude, nude...
    --I'll make you a present of these
    fresh baby Nudeniums.
[18:54] Mikazuki
    Wait... Don't be flustered
    by a strange vampire.
[18:57] Baby Nudeniums/Mikazuki
    --Nude, nude, nude, nude...
    --Think. What would Ronaldo do?
[19:01] Mikazuki
    That's right!
[19:02] Mikazuki
    No matter who you're up against,
    think calmly about your opponent.
[19:05] Baby Nudeniums
    Nude, nude, nude, nude...
[19:09] Ronaldo
    Mikazuki!
[19:11] Mikazuki
    A hunter... um...
    finds patience like this... uh...
[19:17] Ronaldo
    Mikazuki!
[19:19] Ronaldo
    Jeez, what were you trying to do, Nudenium?
[19:23] Nudenium
    My compatriot recommended that
    I try planting more greenery--
[19:27] Ronaldo
    Just you try something on Mikazuki again!
[19:29] Draluc
    Too bad. It's too late.
[19:30] Sign
    "Calling"
[19:35] Micro Bikini
    Kneel before me, humans. It's me.
[19:38] Ronaldo
    You again, exhibitionist?!
[19:41] Micro Bikini
    It's annoying to do what
    the Progenitor's grandson says,
[19:44] Micro Bikini
    but it'll be fun to put you foolish
    hunters into bikinis again.
[19:48] Ronaldo
    Mikazuki, I'll punch this guy and--
[19:51] Mikazuki
    No, please let me fight him!
[19:54] Mikazuki
    I will definitely defeat him!
[19:57] Micro Bikini
    That's funny! What can a kid like you do?
[20:01] Mikazuki
    Can you still say that... after seeing this?!
[20:04] Micro Bikini
    Y-You're already wearing a bikini?!
[20:07] Micro Bikini
    And it's a hot pink lamé one!
[20:11] Mikazuki
    I've never forgotten the disgrace
    I suffered at your hands.
[20:14] Mikazuki
    I came up with this after
    thinking hard about it.
[20:18] Mikazuki
    To defeat you by putting on a bikini
    under my clothes in advance.
[20:22] Ronaldo
    Th-Then, you were wearing a bikini
    on the train to Shin-Yoko, too?
[20:27] Mikazuki
    A hunter is someone who can overcome shyness!
[20:31] Ronaldo
    You're not wrong.
[20:33] Draluc
    Aren't your priorities backwards there?!
[20:35] Draluc
    Hey, Bikini!
[20:37] Micro Bikini
    I'm done here.
[20:39] Micro Bkini
    I respect those who wear bikinis
    stylishly on their own.
[20:44] Micro Bikini
    Young hunter.
[20:45] Micro Bikini
    It looks like that day, when I made you
    wear a bikini, I set you on your path.
[20:51] Micro Bikini
    I'm proud--
[20:57] Ronaldo
    You've gotten better, Mikazuki.
    Congratulations.
[21:01] Ronaldo
    You're good enough a hunter
    to work in Shin-Yoko now!
[21:04] Mikazuki
    Ronaldo!
[21:07] Ronaldo
    Listen, Mikazuki.
[21:09] Ronaldo
    The vampires of Shin-Yoko
    are all tough and tricky.
[21:14] Ronaldo
    There are times when you need to sacrifice
    yourself in order to exterminate them.
[21:18] Ronaldo
    There are a lot of times when you can't
    be cool like in The Ronaldo Chronicles.
[21:22] Ronaldo
    Actually, you usually can't be cool.
[21:26] Ronaldo
    The Ronaldo Chronicles is made up of
    those cool times that I scraped together
[21:30] Ronaldo
    where "it's not like I'm lying"...
[21:34] Ronaldo
    In this environment, it's kind of
    impossible to become a cool hunter...
[21:39] Ronaldo
    Even so, if you want to be a hunter like me...
    I'll teach you everything I can!
[21:47] Ronaldo
    I look forward to working with you, Mikazuki!
[21:49] Mikazuki
    I'm going home!
[21:53] Ronaldo
    Mikazuki!
[23:28] Vamima Manager
    Please help, Ronaldo! It's my son,
    Bubuo! He won't wake up!
[23:29] Sign
    "Dream"
[23:32] Sign
    "Illusion"
[23:35] Draluc
    The vampire dies in no time.

E9 - Utopia BBOLAND

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Ronaldo
    Man, I wonder if I'll get a client today.
[00:03] Ronaldo
    ♬ Eye-beam, eye-beam thingy ♬
[00:05] Ronaldo
    ♬ Eye-beam, eye-beam thingy ♬
[00:07] Ronaldo
    ♬ Eye-- ♬
[00:09] Ronaldo
    Hey, Manager! What do you need from
    the Ronaldo Vampire Hunter Agency?
[00:13] Vamima Manager
    Please help, Ronaldo!
[00:15] Vamima Manager
    It's my son, Bubuo! He won't wake up!
[01:50] Sign
    "Utopia BBOLAND"
[01:51] Draluc
    This isn't because he didn't
    sleep last night or something?
[01:53] Vamima Manager
    He's been like this since yesterday.
    Besides, look at this! Here!
[01:57] Ronaldo
    Whoa, what the hell? Gross!
[01:59] Ronaldo
    It's probably an inferior vampire, but--
[02:01] Draluc
    It's a dream sucker!
    I haven't seen one in a while.
[02:03] Ronaldo
    You know what this is, Lord Dral?
[02:05] Draluc
    It's an inferior vampire that
    puts humans into comas
[02:07] Draluc
    and makes them dream,
    sucking their blood during that time.
[02:10] Draluc
    Because people have been sleeping less recently,
    they were on the verge of going extinct.
[02:16] Draluc
    I didn't think I'd be able to see one
    this big. It must be really old.
[02:20] Vamima Manager
    Don't talk about them like they're fireflies
    coming back to the river.
[02:24] Ronaldo
    If we smoosh this, will he wake up?
[02:26] Draluc
    Don't do that! Think about using chopsticks
    to pick it up or something, you monkey!
[02:31] Draluc
    You shouldn't take it off.
[02:32] Draluc
    If you force it off, it could
    cause damage to his mind.
[02:36] Ronaldo
    Then what're we supposed to do?
[02:37] Draluc
    His dreams can also affect
    the humans around him.
[02:41] Draluc
    This means that if you sleep near him,
    you can intervene with his dreams.
[02:45] Ronaldo
    So you're saying we should go
    into Bubuo's dream--
[02:47] Draluc
    And wake him up from inside it!
[02:49] Ronaldo
    Okay, then let's do this!
[02:52] Ronaldo
    We'll sleep near him!
[02:53] Draluc
    I don't like how it's like he's a kid
    sleeping between parents.
[02:55] Vamima Manager
    Please take care of my son!
[02:57] Ronaldo
    Leave it to us.
[03:01] Vamima Manager
    ♬ Oh, good night, baby ♬
[03:04] Vamima Manager
    --♬ Sing a song, Moon... ♬
[03:05] Ronaldo/Vamima Manager
    --Excuse me, can you please stop singing?
    --♬ Sing a song, Moon... ♬
[03:13] Ronaldo
    What?! Vamima?
[03:15] Draluc
    No, we're already inside Bubuo's dream.
    It must be a reflection of what he imagines.
[03:21] Draluc
    In order to keep their hosts from waking up,
[03:23] Draluc
    dream suckers have them
    dream their ideal dreams.
[03:26] Ronaldo
    Then this is the guy's ideal world?
[03:28] Door Chime
    Door.
[03:31] Ronaldo
    This ideal world is too sketchy!
[03:33] Draluc
    It looks like he doesn't really remember
    what the streets look like.
[03:36] Draluc
    Oh, it's the Hunters Guild!
[03:36] Sign
    "Guild"
[03:38] Ronaldo
    That looks messy, too.
[03:41] Ronaldo
    There are thumbtacks and mushrooms inside.
[03:43] Draluc
    You mean tables and chairs.
[03:45] Maria (dream)
    Welcome to the Hunters Guild!
[03:47] Ta Chan (dream)
    Bubuo is so cool!
[03:49] Ronaldo
    But he's got lots of details for the girls!
[03:51] Ronaldo
    Just how much does he look at them?!
[03:53] Draluc
    You're one to talk!
[03:55] Draluc
    You can tell that he doesn't
    look at the guys at all.
[03:58] Ronaldo
    Shot looks like an eraser.
[04:00] Shot (dream)
    Bubuo is so cool.
[04:02] Satetsu (dream)
    Bubuo is so cool.
[04:03] Ronaldo
    What is this? Satetsu?!
[04:04] Draluc
    It'd be better if he remembered nothing at all!
[04:07] Ronaldo
    This is too much. He looks like something
    growing on a rock at the beach!
[04:10] Ronaldo (dream)
    Bubuo is so cool.
[04:12] Ronaldo
    Hey, what the hell? That's not funny!
    Don't laugh! I'll kill you!
[04:16] Draluc
    Sand!
[04:18] Draluc (dream)
    Bubuo is so cool.
[04:21] Draluc
    What's with this talking vomit?!
[04:22] Ronaldo
    It's actually pretty correct.
[04:26] John (dream)
    N...
[04:28] Ronaldo
    John looks like a wee-wee!
[04:31] Girl/Girl 2
    --Prince Bubuo!
    --Look this way!
[04:34] Girl 3
    You're amazing, Prince Bubuo!
[04:35] Girl 4
    I love you, Prince Bubuo!
[04:37] Ronaldo/Draluc
    Bubuo!
[04:40] Ronaldo
    That idiot's enjoying himself!
[04:41] Ronaldo
    That elephant has sketchy details, too!
[04:44] Bubuo
    Ronaldo?!
[04:45] Bubuo
    Hm? Wait...
[04:47] Ronaldo
    Come back to your senses.
    We're here to save you!
[04:49] Ronaldo
    A vampire's making you dream right now.
[04:53] Bubuo
    Dream...?
[04:54] Bubuo
    I thought it was weird that I could
    make anything I wanted appear.
[04:57] Ronaldo
    You should've noticed when
    things started appearing!
[04:58] Bubuo
    I see. So this was a dream.
[05:02] Ronaldo
    Wake up! Let's get out of here.
[05:05] Bubuo/Ronaldo
    --No!
    --Idiot!
[05:07] Bubuo
    I don't care if it's a dream!
    I wanna stay here and flirt with the girls!
[05:11] Ronaldo
    Are you stupid?!
    Your real body will die!
[05:14] Draluc
    What about food and going to the bathroom?!
[05:16] Bubuo
    I'll soil myself!
[05:17] Ronaldo
    Idiot!
[05:19] Ronaldo
    I've got no choice.
    I'll knock him out and wake him up!
[05:21] Bubuo
    Moron.
[05:23] Bubuo
    I'm unbeatable in my own dream.
    I can make anything appear!
[05:27] Bubuo
    Come, Noble Scarlet Crimson-Winged Red Dragon!
[05:32] Ronaldo
    What's that?
[05:33] Draluc
    All I know is that it's red.
[05:36] Red Dragon
    Ryoar.
[05:37] Draluc
    That's too sketchy!
[05:38] Ronaldo
    What's that "ryoar" supposed to be?!
[05:39] John
    Nuoar!
[05:41] Red Dragon
    --Ryoar.
[05:42] Draluc/Red Dragon
    --Ronaldo!
    --Ryoar.
[05:45] Ronaldo
    It's sketchy, but strong!
[05:46] Draluc
    I see. It's because this world is influenced
    by what Bubuo can imagine!
[05:50] Ronaldo (dream)
    Bubuo is so cool. Bubuo is so cool.
[05:53] Ronaldo
    The sketchy me's so strong!
[05:56] Ronaldo
    The wee-wee's like a meteor!
[05:58] Draluc (dream)
    Bubuo is--
[06:00] Draluc
    Why am I the only weak one?!
[06:03] Bubuo
    This dream world's fun!
[06:06] Ronaldo
    You scum!
[06:09] Ronaldo
    Damn it, if his imagination rules here,
    then there's nothing we can--
[06:16] Bubuo
    Here's the finishing touch.
[06:17] Bubuo
    I'll kick you guys out
    with a super-cool illusion!
[06:21] Bubuo
    Come, my strongest female warrior!
[06:24] Bubuo
    The glamorous, flaxen-haired,
    shiny bosomed, cute, big-boobed, sexy--
[06:31] Draluc
    Manager.
[06:34] Bubuo
    What the hell did you make me create?!
    Damn it! One more time!
[06:38] Draluc
    No, it's too late now!
[06:40] Bubuo
    Damn it. Forget about the old man.
[06:43] Draluc/Bubuo
    --Why? Because the more humans
    don't want to imagine something...
    --Cute... big-boobed...
[06:47] Draluc
    ...the harder it is to get out of their heads!
[06:52] Vamima Manager (Girl 2)
    What's the matter, Bubuo?
[06:53] Vamima Manager (Girl 1)
    Are you all right, Bubuo?
[06:55] Vamima Managers
    --Bubuo!
    --Bubuo!
    --Bubuo!
[06:57] Sign
    "Buy anything at Vamima"
[07:04] Vamima Manager
    Bubuo!
[07:06] Vamima Manager
    Oh, good! You're awake!
    Do you know who I am? It's me, your dad!
[07:09] Vamima Manager
    Bubuo, Bubuo, Bubuo, Bubuo!
[07:15] Bubuo
    Stop! You'll give me nightmares!
[07:19] Sign
    "Dad and the Suspicious Person"
[07:20] Yakyuken Lover
    Hey, how're you doing?
    I'm everyone's idol, Yakyken Lover.
[07:24] Yakyuken Lover
    I thought I was here for some one-time laughs,
    but now I'm a recurring character.
[07:27] Yakyuken Lover
    It won't be long before I get a spinoff movie.
    I'm Yakyuken Lover, a nice guy.
[07:32] Yakyuken Lover
    Nice to meetcha.
[07:34] Yakyuken Lover
    But even I've recently got problems.
[07:37] Yakyuken Lover
    That is, recently, maybe I've
    been too well-behaved?
[07:40] Yakyuken Lover
    Like, I've heard, "That handsome man's
    got unexpected common sense."
[07:43] Yakyuken Lover
    When I'm stuck in a boring box like that,
[07:45] Yakyuken Lover
    it's a disgrace to my nickname,
    "Yakyuken Lover."
[07:48] Yakyuken Lover
    Because the most important thing to me
[07:50] Yakyuken Lover
    is my mission to spread
    yakyuken around the world!
[07:54] Yakyuken Lover
    And so--
[07:55] Yakyuken Lover
    I will now spread yakyuken to
    people walking down the street.
[08:00] Yakyuken Lover
    Hey, Miss! Let's play yakyuken!
[08:02] Yakyuken Lover
    Out! Safe! Yoyoino--
[08:04] Master
    Yoi...
[08:06] Yakyuken Lover
    Owwwww! I give up! I give up!
[08:08] Woman A
    I don't know what's going on, but thank you.
[08:11] Master
    It was no trouble at all.
    Just doing my job as a hunter.
[08:16] Master
    Yakyuken Lover...
[08:18] Master
    I cannot overlook you hypnotizing people
    to force them to play yakyuken.
[08:24] Master
    VRC? This is the guild master.
    I'd like to request the detention of a vampire.
[08:28] Yakyuken Lover
    Guild master?!
[08:30] Yakyuken Lover
    This old guy's that girl's old man? Crap!
[08:34] Yakyuken Lover
    If he finds out I made his daughter
    play yakyuken, he'll kill me!
[08:38] Master
    Yes... What?
[08:40] Yakyuken Lover
    Well, I'll be sent to the VRC soon anyway,
    so there's no time for him to find out.
[08:45] Master
    I understand. Goodbye.
[08:50] Master
    He really did not want to go through
    the bother of imprisoning you again.
[08:53] Yomotsuzaka
    Don't come back again! If you're gonna come,
    then cough up some rent!
[08:56] Master
    He said he'd leisurely do some
    other work for about an hour
[08:59] Master
    and then come reluctantly after that.
[09:01] Yakyuken Lover
    He's really upfront about neglecting his duties.
[09:03] Master
    Just what mischief did you cause at the VRC?
[09:06] Yakyuken Lover
    The food's free there, so I was just
    using it as a place to sleep.
[09:09] Master
    You're like a crooked gigolo.
[09:12] Master
    Jeez. I had dinner plans.
[09:14] Yakyuken Lover
    So this means what? I have to spend
    a whole hour with this guy?!
[09:18] Yakyuken Lover
    This is gonna be awkward!
[09:19] Master
    Oh, hello, Koyuki?
    Yes, there's a vampire...
[09:24] Master
    Yes, I'm fine, but I'm sorry.
    Please go wait for me somewhere.
[09:29] Master
    Huh? You're going to come here?
[09:32] Master
    Well, you're training to be a hunter, too.
    It'll be good for you.
[09:35] Master
    I'll see you later then.
[09:39] Master
    She's the apple of my eye.
[09:41] Yakyuken Lover
    Wait a minute. Have I been checkmated?
    If that busty girl comes...
[09:46] Koyuki
    Oh, it's the man who played yakyuken with me.
[09:50] Master
    The man who played yakyuken with you?
[09:52] Yakyuken Lover
    Wait, I'll be totally crushed!
    I'll die ten times! Crap! Crap!
[09:57] Yakyuken Lover
    Isn't this bad? For your daughter
    to meet a guy like me?
[10:01] Master
    What are you planning to do to my
    daughter, idiot baldy? I'll crush you.
[10:05] Yakyuken Lover
    Wait, I'm not trying to get
    the crushing over with sooner!
[10:08] Yakyuken Lover
    I need to get out of here as soon as possible.
[10:10] Yakyuken Lover
    Come on, can't you let me go?
    It was just an attempted crime.
[10:13] Master
    You were caught in the act.
[10:14] Yakyuken Lover
    Don't say that. My little brother's in his
    bikini, waiting for me to come home.
[10:19] Master
    What are you doing to your little brother?
[10:21] Yakyuken Lover
    No! That's just what he likes wearing!
[10:24] Yakyuken Lover
    My ghost little brother's waiting, too!
[10:26] Master
    Did your brother pass away?
[10:29] Yakyuken Lover
    No, he's just always wearing a ghost cosplay...
[10:32] Master
    Let them both wait!
[10:34] Master
    I'm repeating myself, but I cannot
    overlook indiscriminate hypnosis.
[10:40] Yakyuken Lover
    I have no choice...
[10:42] Yakyuken Lover
    ♬ If you're gonna play baseball ♬
[10:45] Yakyuken Lover
    ♬ Why not try playing like this? ♬
[10:48] Yakyuken Lover
    Out! Safe! Yoyoino--
[10:53] Yakyuken Lover
    Oh, no, I lost. I need to take
    off a piece of clothing...
[10:56] Master
    Don't tell me--
[10:57] Yakyuken Lover
    Bindings also count as clothes!
    See ya later, alligator!
[11:02] Strip Mahjong Leader
    Yo, yo, yo!
[11:03] Strip Mahjong Leader
    Just play with us a little!
[11:05] Sign
    "East" "South" "West" "North"
[11:06] Strip Mahjong East
    Come on, Miss!
[11:08] Koyuki
    Who are you people?
[11:09] Strip Mahjong Leader
    We're the vampires, Strip Mahjong Club!
[11:09] Sign
    "Vampires - Strip Mahjong Club"
[11:12] Strip Mahjong East
    Strip mahjong, or vampire mahjong!
[11:14] Strip Mahjong South
    Take your pick!
[11:19] Strip Mahjong Leader
    Hey, come play around a table with us!
[11:21] Strip Mahjong East
    You can bet either blood or clothes!
[11:24] Strip Mahjong South
    It's okay if you don't know the rules!
    We'll teach you patiently!
[11:27] Strip Mahjong West
    If we lose, we'll strip, too!
[11:29] Strip Mahjong North
    It doesn't sound too bad, right?
[11:31] Koyuki
    Yes, it does.
[11:33] Yakyuken Lover
    Who the hell are they?
    They're the same type of character as me!
[11:37] Master
    Don't move one step from here, vampire.
[11:40] Yakyuken Lover
    Wait. Let me help, too.
    I'll send those copycats flying.
[11:46] Strip Mahjong South
    I'll take this cute girl!
[11:50] Sign
    "Special Hammer for
    Suppressing Vampires ver.
    Stake-Driving Iron Hammer!!"
[11:53] Master
    Stake-Driving Iron Hammer!
[12:03] Strip Mahjong Leader
    Damn it, he's a hunter?!
[12:04] Strip Mahjong East
    Don't be intimidated! Surround them!
    There's more of us!
[12:07] Yakyuken Lover
    I can't let you do that.
[12:09] Strip Mahjong Leader/East/West/North
    What?!
[12:09] Yakyuken Lover
    Out! Safe! Yoyoinoyoi!
[12:13] Strip Mahjong Leader
    Oh, no! My body's playing yakyuken on its own!
[12:18] Sign
    "Unorthodox Yakyuken Punch!!"
[12:19] Yakyuken Lover
    Unorthodox Yakyuken Punch!
[12:22] Strip Mahjong West
    No fair! You used a physical attack
    while he was taking off his clothes!
[12:26] Yakyuken Lover
    There's no reason to keep
    yakyuken's moral code with you lot!
[12:31] Strip Mahjong North
    What did you say?!
[12:32] Strip Mahjong East
    Let's get 'em!
[12:33] Strip Mahjong South
    Take this! Table Slam Attack!
[12:36] Yakyuken Lover
    Yoyoinoyoi!
[12:52] Yakyuken Lover
    Yoi!
[12:55] Strip Mahjong Leader
    Their yakyuken combination offense
    and defense flow together like water!
[12:58] Strip Mahjong East
    I-It's no good! We can't win!
[13:02] Strip Mahjong Leader
    I'm very sorry for what we did.
[13:04] Strip Mahjong South
    We'll never force anyone
    to play strip mahjong again.
[13:07] Strip Mahjong Leader
    We'll just play quietly with our friends.
[13:10] Master
    If you do this again, I'll crush you.
[13:13] Yakyuken Lover
    Well, it was thanks to the help of Mr. Yakyuken.
[13:18] Koyuki
    Oh!
[13:18] Master
    What's the matter, Koyuki?
[13:20] Yakyuken Lover
    Oh, no! I forgot! Crap! I'm gonna be crushed!
[13:25] Yakyuken Lover
    If it's come to this, I'll use my last resort!
[13:32] Yakyuken Lover
    I'll pray! Please! Don't say anything!
[13:37] Koyuki
    I thought his kimono was an interesting pattern.
[13:39] Master
    Is that right?
[13:40] Yakyuken Lover
    She understood! Thanks!
[13:46] Yomotsuzaka
    Hey, that's more vampires than you said, fool.
[13:49] Master
    You're finally here?
[13:53] Yakyuken Lover
    Well, I'm getting detained now.
    Later, gator. We made a pretty good team.
[13:59] Transparent Lower Body
    Is that you, Ken? And the VRC?!
[14:02] Micro Bikini
    Aren't you embarrassed about getting
    caught by the VRC over and over, fool?
[14:06] Micro Bikini
    Oh! Did you try to play yakyuken
    with that girl again?!
[14:10] Master
    "Again"?
[14:14] Yakyuken Lover
    It wasn't like me to go sneaking around anyway.
[14:17] Yakyuken Lover
    Let me introduce myself again, you two.
    My name is Yakyuken Lover!
[14:23] Yakyuken Lover
    Miss, let's have a rematch right here, right--
[14:32] Koyuki
    I brought some food.
[14:36] Ronaldo
    Man, that vampire was a cinch.
    I've got some extra time now.
[14:36] Sign
    "Hello, How Are You? Are You Free?"
[14:41] Ronaldo
    I'm not good with free time...
    What should I do?
[14:44] Ronaldo
    I cut my toenails yesterday already--
[14:50] Ronaldo
    What do you want, Lord Dral?! You--
[14:51] Draluc
    Youngster! Where are you right now?
[14:54] Ronaldo
    Where? I'm in front of the office.
[14:56] Draluc
    I'm too late... Listen, I'll explain later.
[14:59] Draluc
    I'll be right there. Just make sure
    you don't say you're free!
[15:01] Ronaldo
    Huh?
[15:02] Draluc
    Try not to give him any stimulus.
    You can even ignore him!
[15:05] Draluc
    Whatever you do, don't say you're free!
[15:07] Ronaldo
    Huh?
[15:09] Ronaldo
    What's with that bastard--?
[15:11] The Progenitor
    Welcome back.
[15:14] The Progenitor
    Are you free?
[15:16] The Progenitor
    Let's play.
[15:17] The Progenitor
    Stare.
[15:18] Ronaldo
    If I say, "I'm free," then something
    terrible will happen, right?
[15:21] Ronaldo
    I know! I see monsters like this online!
[15:24] The Progenitor
    What shall we play? Baseball?
[15:26] Ronaldo
    Don't react. Don't say, "We need 16 more
    people for baseball," or anything like that!
[15:30] The Progenitor
    Cops and robbers?
[15:31] Ronaldo
    We'd need more than 30 people!
[15:33] Ronaldo
    It'd just be one person running and one
    person chasing! Was a crime committed?!
[15:36] The Progenitor
    We could play Shin-Bros on the big
    screen in Shin-Yokohama Arena.
[15:40] Sign
    "Super Perverted Shin-Yoko Brothers"
[15:40] Ronaldo
    That sounds kind of fun! Stop it!
[15:46] Ronaldo
    Did he get bored?
[15:47] Ronaldo
    I'm safe...
[15:50] Ronaldo
    Help me!
[15:53] Draus
    Father! You can't play with Paul!
    The aftermath will affect Draluc!
[15:56] Ronaldo
    Lord Dral's dad!
[15:58] Draluc
    Shh! This is a funny scene,
    so let's watch a little longer!
[16:01] Ronaldo
    I'll kill you!
[16:02] Ronaldo
    Why is that old cyclone trying to play with me?
[16:05] Draluc
    It's Grandfather's "Are you free?" mode.
[16:06] Ronaldo
    "'Are you free?' mode"?!
[16:08] Draluc
    It comes over him sometimes.
    He suddenly wants to play with someone,
[16:12] Draluc
    but he's like a fifth grade superman
    with unlimited energy and stamina,
[16:16] Draluc
    so anyone who plays with him
    will crumble to dust and die!
[16:20] Draluc
    I heard he made Father go with him to the
    Kawah Ijen volcano to roast marshmallows.
[16:26] Ronaldo
    Your old man's always like that...
[16:29] Draluc
    I don't know why, but Grandfather said--
[16:32] The Progenitor
    I'm going to play in Shin-Yoko.
[16:34] Draluc
    That's what he said this time.
[16:35] Ronaldo
    Why?!
[16:37] Draluc
    Anyway, if you say you're free, that's the end!
[16:40] The Progenitor
    Are you free? Interested in bungee jumping?
[16:44] Draluc
    I'm busy conquering the
    100th floor of a dungeon...
[16:47] Draluc
    How about crossing the
    Danakil Desert with Father?
[16:51] Draus
    What?!
[16:52] The Progenitor
    Very well.
[16:54] The Progenitor
    I'll go look for someone who seems free.
[16:56] Draus/Draluc
    Wait a minute!
[16:58] Ronaldo
    What should we do?!
[17:00] Draluc
    I don't know! He won't listen
    once he's made up his mind!
[17:02] Draus
    We need to contain the damage.
[17:03] Ronaldo
    Is that even possible?!
[17:04] Draus
    We need to make sure no one
    he talks to says they're free.
[17:09] Draus
    If after that, someone does say it...
    then we'll just foist him on them!
[17:13] Ronaldo
    You're not containing anything!
[17:14] Draluc
    Shut up, taco! You'll die if you try
    to contain that human-shaped cyclone!
[17:17] The Progenitor
    Hello, everyone!
[17:19] Batter
    What? What?
[17:20] Medoki
    It's the old hurricane guy from Halloween!
[17:23] Medoki
    What's going on?
[17:24] Ronaldo
    To cut to the chase, if you say
    you're free, you'll die.
[17:26] Medoki
    What kind of demon did you bring here?!
[17:29] The Progenitor
    Are you free? What are you doing?
[17:31] Satetsu
    I'm eating a sandwich.
[17:33] Ronaldo
    He went for the guy who's most likely to say it!
[17:35] The Progenitor
    If you're free, will you play with me?
[17:37] Medoki
    You can do it, Satetsu!
[17:38] Ronaldo
    Don't open your mouth!
[17:40] The Progenitor
    Will you make a huge takoyaki using
    a giant heat-resistant bowl with me?
[17:46] Satetsu
    What would go inside?
[17:47] Ronaldo
    Why are you sounding interested now, idiot?!
[17:49] Draus
    He'll make you make one
    that's as big as an asteroid!
[17:52] The Progenitor
    If you're interested, then--
[17:55] Master
    He has work to do.
[17:57] Ronaldo
    Master!
[18:03] The Progenitor
    Mustache friends.
[18:06] The Progenitor
    Double mustache friends.
[18:11] Ronaldo
    Why are you kind of laughing at his joke?!
[18:12] Satetsu
    He'll think you're free!
[18:14] Draluc
    It's no good! He's got the sensibilities of a
    middle-aged man, so he's weak to dad jokes!
[18:18] Ronaldo
    Don't encourage him!
[18:20] Ronaldo
    See? Now he's changed his target!
[18:22] Ronaldo
    He's having fun with a dancing duck!
    What'll you do?!
[18:25] The Progenitor
    Are you free? Can I take off that duck suit?
[18:33] The Progenitor
    It's a little stinky.
[18:35] Draus
    Those kinds of costumes are all like that.
[18:38] Handa
    Are you hunters okay?!
[18:40] Hana
    I felt the presence of a really strong
    vampire coming from here--
[18:42] Ronaldo
    Handa! Idiot, get away from here!
[18:44] The Progenitor
    Child of the time between night and day--
[18:48] The Progenitor
    Are you free?
[18:49] Ronaldo
    Don't say you're free!
    It'll be terrible if you do.
[18:49] Sign
    "If you say you're free, you'll die"
[18:51] Ronaldo
    Just talk your way out of it somehow!
[18:53] Handa
    Today's my... day off...
    I don't have plans...
[18:57] Handa
    My mom... My mom says I shouldn't lie...
[18:59] Ronaldo
    There's a time and place for everything, Momo!
    Sometimes we have to tell little white lies!
[19:02] Handa
    Shut up, my mom wouldn't say anything like that!
[19:08] Handa
    I promised Ronaldo and the others...
    that we'd form a band...
[19:13] Ronaldo
    Don't get me involved!
[19:17] Sign
    "It Won't Come If You Rush It"
[19:17] Ronaldo
    HANDA-N, first single:
[19:19] Ronaldo
    "It Won't Come If You Rush It!"
[19:22] Ronaldo
    ♬ Suddenly ♬
[19:23] Ronaldo
    ♬ You suddenly brought it up ♬
[19:26] Ronaldo
    ♬ So that's why we ♬
[19:28] Ronaldo/Handa
    --♬ Sing ♬
    --♬ Sing! ♬
[19:30] Ronaldo/Handa
    --♬ When people ♬
    --♬ YEAH! OH! ♬
[19:32] Ronaldo
    ♬ Have to rush ♬
[19:33] Ronaldo
    ♬ They can't think of any lyrics ♬
[19:36] Handa
    ♬ Can't think of any! ♬
[19:37] Ronaldo/Handa
    --♬ Your pure, um... you know ♬
    --♬ Fooooooo! ♬
[19:38] Ronaldo
    ♬ Is, oh... ♬
[19:41] The Progenitor/Scooter Kid
    --Are you free?
    --Depends.
[19:43] Ronaldo
    He's not watching!
[19:45] Ronaldo
    You can't say you're free, damn kid!
[19:47] Draluc
    He'll take you touring at
    180 km/h on your scooter!
[19:51] Scooter Kid
    Oh? Going to that world
    would be a scooter rider's dream.
[19:58] Ronaldo
    That's a little cool, but stop!
[20:01] Ronaldo
    Stop them!
[20:02] Draus
    Father! It's seriously bad to do that to a kid!
[20:04] Draluc
    He'll get scraped up on the asphalt!
[20:07] Handa
    I sense a vampire!
[20:09] Maria
    Hey, what's that?!
[20:11] Sign
    "Eight-Eyed Leech (King Size)"
[20:13] Roanldo
    Get ready. It's a big one!
[20:14] Satetsu
    It looks vicious!
[20:15] Shot
    First, get the kid out of here!
[20:17] Scooter Kid
    Oh...
[20:22] Medoki
    H-He's strong.
[20:23] Ronaldo
    The action scene got cut.
[20:25] Draluc
    I mean, it is my grandfather.
[20:27] Draus
    That's the kind of person he is.
    That's why he's hard to deal with.
[20:30] Mr. Lewd Talk
    Oh? Did you beat him already?
[20:32] Draus
    Bastard!
[20:33] Mr. Lewd Talk
    I was just about to try and start a Lewdemic.
[20:37] Draluc
    The vampire, Mr. Lewd Talk!
[20:39] Ronaldo
    What?! That was working for you?!
[20:41] Mr. Lewd Talk
    Working? No.
[20:43] Mr. Lewd Talk
    I simply cheered on its fetish of "swallowing
    a human whole and sucking its blood
[20:49] Mr. Lewd Talk
    while getting attacked from the inside."
[20:53] Draluc
    Is that why it was so vicious?
[20:54] Ronaldo
    What a stupid trick.
[20:57] Mr. Lewd Talk
    Since you're all gathered here,
    I'll use the Lewd Talk Beam--
[21:01] Draluc
    Wait!
[21:04] Draluc
    Are you free right now?
[21:07] Mr. Lewd Talk
    Yeah, I'm free. I'll have
    you all keep me company--
[21:13] The Progenitor
    Then, let's play.
[21:16] Mr. Lewd Talk
    Wh-Why is "D" here...?!
[21:21] Draluc
    Yes. Divine retribution!
[21:23] Draus
    You said it!
[21:26] Draus
    But for Father to directly
    meddle with humans...
[21:33] Draus
    He might've remembered...
[21:46] Draus
    ...his human friend who passed away.
[23:24] Sign
    "Enveloping the darkness"
[23:26] Sign
    "Enveloping the town"
[23:28] Sign
    "Enveloping lives"
[23:31] Draluc
    Get him!
[23:32] Draluc
    Show him the power of a future hunter!
[23:36] Draluc
    The vampire dies in no time!

E10 - Little Little Concerto

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:16] Draluc
    Stop it, Damn-aldo! You made me die!
[00:18] Draluc
    That's not how you should wake someone up!
[00:20] Draluc
    You five... year-old?
[01:56] Sign
    "Little Little Concerto"
[01:58] Draluc
    Who's this kid?
    Ronaldo's secret love child?
[02:02] Draluc
    No, there's no way.
[02:03] Draluc
    If you take away that guy's virginity,
    he will cease to exist.
[02:07] Draluc
    Then, his brother's secret love child?
[02:10] Draluc
    Why'd you take off your pants?!
[02:13] Ronaldo (young)
    I'm so cool! The strongest
    hunter in the world--
[02:18] Draluc
    Th-The extent of his stupidity!
[02:21] Draluc
    He's not a secret love child!
    This has to be Ronaldo himself!
[02:24] Draluc
    This is bad! Hinaichi! The five-year-old's
    turned into a five-year-old!
[02:28] Hinaichi (young)
    Wee.
[02:29] Draluc
    Two-year-old?!
[02:31] Draluc
    Hinaichi, too?
[02:33] Draluc
    This must be the work of some kind of vampire.
[02:36] Draluc
    If you keep pulling that, I'll die.
[02:38] Draluc
    Anyway, we need to hurry up and--
[02:39] Ronaldo (young)
    Hey! Hey! Hey, hey!
[02:42] Ronaldo (young)
    Hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey...!
[02:45] Draluc
    Stop that, you excited monkey!
[02:48] Draluc
    Learn a move other than hitting!
[02:53] Draluc
    My prized game cassette
    is making a delicious sound!
[02:58] Draluc
    I'll play with you later, but act like
    a big brother right now, John!
[03:01] Ronaldo (young)
    Wanna see my wee-wee?
[03:03] Hinaichi (young)
    Wee?
[03:04] Draluc
    Don't show her that!
[03:12] Draluc
    Solo child-rearing really
    takes an emotional toll!
[03:14] Draluc
    I need to hurry up and hand them off to someone!
[03:18] Draluc
    Excuse me. I'd like a babysitter--
[03:22] Master (young)
    Draluc, thank goodness you're here.
    Please watch two or three of them for me.
[03:26] Draluc
    Sand...
[03:29] Draluc
    What's going on?
[03:30] Master (young)
    Everyone suddenly became
    children before our eyes...
[03:33] Draluc
    Wait, you're younger, too!
    Without your mustache, you look a bit harried.
[03:38] Master (young)
    Please leave me alone.
[03:40] Senya (young)
    I'm in my boyhood years, too.
[03:42] Draluc
    Senya?! How did you turn out like that?!
[03:45] Hiyoshi (young)
    It looks like everyone's gotten
    about 10 or 15 years younger.
[03:49] Handa (young)
    Ronalo!
[03:51] Hiyoshi (young)
    We were out on patrol when this happened.
[03:53] Draluc
    It's nice that you don't seem
    to have changed much.
[03:56] Hiyoshi (young)
    Shut up! Isn't my skin more supple and stuff?
[03:59] Maria (young)
    Oh, so round!
[04:02] Draluc
    It looks like even hunters with many battles
    under their belts are innocent as children.
[04:06] Maria (young)
    Can I butcher this and eat it?
[04:09] Draluc
    I take back what I just said! Nothing's changed!
[04:12] Shot (young)
    Don' talk 'bout weird stuff.
    Let's play tig 'nstead!
[04:16] Draluc
    Shot, where are you from?
[04:17] Ronaldo (young)
    Hey, guys! If you hit him, he dies! It's fun!
[04:21] Ta Chan (young)
    It's not fun.
[04:24] Draluc
    There's nothing harsher than
    blunt words from a child this age.
[04:28] Draluc
    Oh, look.
[04:29] Draluc
    The arm guy's played by himself
    since he was young. What a good boy!
[04:35] Master (young)
    Don't put your hand in
    if you can't get it out after.
[04:38] Draluc
    What a dope.
[04:43] Senya (young)
    Hey, we won't get anywhere if we
    just stay here and play with the kids.
[04:47] Master (young)
    Yes. We need to hurry and investigate the cause.
    Mr. Vamone's nihilism is also getting worse.
[04:53] Draluc
    Children have no mercy for
    costumed characters like that.
[04:58] Yomotsuzaka (young)
    As expected, you're just standing idly by.
    Incompetent fools.
[05:02] Draluc
    Oh, it's the ultra-rude psycho dog mask guy!
[05:06] Yomotsuzaka (young)
    This phenomenon was caused by a vampire.
[05:10] Yomotsuzaka (young)
    Look for the source of the fog
    that has covered Shin-Yoko.
[05:15] Yomotsuzaka (young)
    That's where the main body is.
[05:17] Draluc
    First, can't you make a drug
    to make them go back to normal?
[05:21] Master (young)
    Will we naturally go back to normal
    if we hit the main body?
[05:24] Yomotsuzaka (young)
    Nope! This is a most important case.
[05:27] Yomotsuzaka (young)
    Of course, I'll make everyone
    in town research subjects!
[05:31] Draluc
    Shouldn't we exile this guy?
[05:35] Yomotsuzaka (young)
    Get away.
[05:36] Yomotsuzaka (young)
    How's that?! You can't do
    a thing, can you, fool?!
[05:39] Yomotsuzaka (young)
    That's what you get for defying me all the time!
[05:44] Yomotsuzaka (young)
    Hey, get off! This isn't funny!
[05:47] Yomotsuzaka (young)
    Don't touch that, fools!
[05:50] Draluc
    I'm glad you're all getting along.
[05:52] Master (young)
    Please take care of the kids
    while we go fight the vampire.
[05:54] Hiyoshi (young)
    You're the perfect person for it, Great Genius!
[05:57] Senya (young)
    Be good, kids!
[05:59] Yomotsuzaka (young)
    Huh? Hey, wait-- Fools!
[06:02] Yomotsuzaka (young)
    I came here to get you bastards
    so I could catch the vampire! Come back!
[06:06] Yomotsuzaka (young)
    Be my escorts, you fools!
[06:09] Yomotsuzaka (young)
    Get off of me! Move!
    Don't ride me! Ow!
[06:13] Draluc
    He said to find the source of the fog,
    but the whole town's covered in fog...
[06:17] Hiyoshi (young)
    We'll follow the vampire's presence and
    try to head towards places with thicker fog.
[06:22] Hiyoshi (young)
    We're counting on you, Kid Handa.
[06:23] Hiyoshi (young)
    Point and tell us which way
    you think we should go.
[06:29] Hiyoshi (young)
    Sorry, let me rephrase that.
[06:31] Hiyoshi (young)
    Look for the presence of a vampire.
    I'll buy that for you later.
[06:41] Hiyoshi (young)
    That's...
[06:43] Draluc
    He picked something up.
[06:45] Draluc
    Hm? The boy... Where have I...?
[06:49] Hiyoshi (young)
    No! That's Odd Creature!
[06:51] Senya (young)
    It looks like he's just getting aroused
    by looking at a sexy magazine.
[06:54] Draluc
    Scary!
[06:55] Hiyoshi (young)
    You can't keep him. Put him back.
[06:57] Draluc
    I can't believe you wanted to keep him
    as a pet after seeing that.
[07:00] Hiyoshi (young)
    Take this instead.
[07:02] Draluc
    This is how you treat me?
[07:11] Hiyoshi (young)
    This is... an abandoned factory?
[07:14] Hiyoshi (young)
    And that's...
[07:16] Hiyoshi (young)
    Passionate Kiss when she was a young girl!
[07:19] Master (young)
    She's younger than I thought.
[07:21] Hiyoshi (young)
    Yeah.
[07:22] Hiyoshi (young)
    She wore a skirt at that age, huh?
[07:24] Draluc
    Why'd she take it off when she grew up?!
[07:30] Master (young)
    Oh, that's the sound of her falling in love.
[07:32] Hiyoshi (young)
    No, stop! I can't make you happy!
[07:33] Sign
    "The beginning of a love that crossed time"
[07:38] Handa (young)
    I win, Ronalo!
[07:40] Hiyoshi (young)
    Hey, Handa! Don't go--
[07:43] Hiyoshi (young)
    Huh?
[07:44] Hiyoshi (young)
    Ronaldo... Why are you here?
[07:56] Yomotsuzaka (young)
    You fools...
[07:58] Hiyoshi (young)
    Yomotsu! You were supposed
    to be taking care of them!
[08:00] Yomotsuzaka (young)
    No, they went on their own...
[08:03] Hiyoshi (young)
    What?!
[08:11] Senya (young)
    Everyone... Even Little Dral!
[08:22] Hiyoshi (young)
    Hey, where'd they go?!
[08:24] Hiyoshi (young)
    Hey!
[08:33] Sign
    "Little Little Concerto ~~Duck Squashing Part~~"
[08:42] Draluc
    This is...
[08:50] Anti-Aging
    What a haul! A huge haul!
[08:53] Anti-Aging
    Oh, kids are so cute.
[08:56] Anti-Aging
    So obedient and weak...
    And with such delicious blood...
[08:57] Sign
    "Vampire - Anti-Aging"
[09:01] Draluc
    So this guy's the cause of this commotion?!
[09:03] Draluc
    This is obvious,
    but I'll lose if I try to fight!
[09:06] Draluc
    For now, I need to make sure
    he doesn't notice me.
[09:08] Anti-Aging
    Hm? Hey, kid. That's not a stuffed animal.
[09:12] Draluc
    Goo-goo ga-ga, I'm a baby!
[09:15] Anti-Aging
    I'll kill you!
[09:16] Draluc
    It's no good! Sand...
[09:19] Ronaldo (young)/Medoki (young)
    --Huh?
    --Where are we?
[09:22] Anti-Aging/Draluc
    --Damn.
    --Everyone!
[09:24] Draluc
    He's a bad vampire!
    He's after your blood!
[09:28] Draluc
    Now, get him!
[09:30] Draluc
    Show him the power of future hunters!
[09:36] Anti-Aging
    Here, have some snacks!
    One bag per person!
[09:39] Kids/Draluc
    --Yay!
    --What?!
[09:41] Anti-Aging
    It's not for nothing that I use
    this ability to make a living.
[09:44] Anti-Aging
    I'm used to dealing with kids!
[09:47] Anti-Aging
    Look, kids! It's a radio-controlled drone!
[09:51] Draluc
    Bastard...
[09:53] Anti-Aging
    What that man's saying is scary, isn't it?
[09:55] Anti-Aging
    Fighting's bad. Let's all play
    nicely together, okay?
[10:01] Draluc
    Oh, look! I found an armadillo here!
[10:05] Kids
    Ooh, a 'madillo!
[10:07] Draluc
    I win. There's nothing children
    want to touch more than animals.
[10:12] Anti-Aging
    How impudent. How about this, then?
[10:15] Anti-Aging
    Come here. I've got a trampoline!
[10:17] Draluc
    Hmph! Is that all you've got?
    That can't beat John's charm--
[10:22] Draluc
    What?!
[10:23] Anti-Aging
    Idiot! With an animal,
    only the children in front can touch it.
[10:27] Anti-Aging
    No matter the era, nothing can beat
    something everyone can play together!
[10:32] Draluc
    Damn it, trends like that ostracize
    gloomy kids who like being indoors!
[10:37] Draluc
    Children! Who wants to have
    a Popómon battle with me?
[10:41] Draluc
    I'll even give cards to anyone who beats me!
    You can choose a rare card you like!
[10:47] Anti-Aging
    Capitalist pig. Children without
    game consoles will be left out!
[10:51] Anti-Aging
    Look, I'll show you some magic tricks!
[11:08] Anti-Aging
    You're pushing your luck, manchild!
[11:12] Draluc
    Quiet, weird old man. I won't give up
    my throne as king of the kids!
[11:16] Anti-Aging
    --Anyway, I can just beat you up
    normally and get this over with.
[11:19] Draluc/Anti-Aging
    --Sand!
    --Anyway, I can just beat you up
    normally and get this over with.
[11:23] Anti-Aging
    Now, boys and girls, come here.
    It's about time to eat.
[11:34] Song
    ♬ Vamone, Vamone ♬
[11:36] Song
    --♬ Vamone, Vamone ♬
[11:36] Master (young)/Song
    --Hey, kids! It's a duck!
    --♬ Vamone, Vamone ♬
[11:37] Master (young)/Song
    --Hey, kids! It's a duck!
    --♬ Vamone, Vamone ♬
[11:39] Song
    ♬ Mr. Vamone ♬
[11:43] Song
    --♬ Vamone, Vamone, Mr. Vamone ♬
[11:44] Anti-Aging/Song
    --What's that?!
    --♬ Vamone, Vamone, Mr. Vamone ♬
[11:48] Anti-Aging
    How did you know where we were?!
[11:51] Hiyoshi (young)
    The VRC's GPS is really powerful.
[11:56] Senya (young)
    The kids are all safe!
[11:57] Hiyoshi (young)
    All right!
[11:58] Draluc
    Oh, how cruel...
[12:00] Hiyoshi (young)
    Now, put everyone back to normal!
[12:07] Draluc
    Oh, no! It's his power!
[12:12] Draluc
    Even the captain's a child?!
[12:15] Draluc
    Don't take off your pants!
[12:16] Ronaldo (young)
    Hey! Me, too! Me, too!
[12:17] Draluc
    What are you, the wee-wee brothers?!
[12:19] Shot (young)
    I can take 'em off, too!
[12:21] Satetsu (young)
    Uh...
[12:22] Draluc
    Don't be influenced by them! Think for yourself!
[12:24] Senya (boy)
    Oh, my. Boys are so vulgar.
[12:26] Master (boy)
    I wanna play with the duck, too!
[12:29] Draluc
    Oh, no, there's no one left to fight!
[12:31] Anti-Aging
    Did you see that... hunters...?
[12:34] Master (young)
    He's gotten older!
[12:36] Anti-Aging
    Damn it, if I suck up too many years,
    it ends up piling on me...
[12:43] Master (young)
    Vampire bastard, what did you do?!
[12:46] Anti-Aging
    Oh, crap.
[12:47] Master (boy)
    I wanna play with the duck!
[12:51] Master (young)
    Vampire bastard!
[12:54] Anti-Aging
    Come on, body, you can do it!
    Release my full power!
[13:00] Master (young)
    Duck bastard!
[13:01] Draluc
    You're mixing them up.
[13:06] Master (boy)
    Yay! A duck!
[13:07] Anti-Aging
    Oh... Is it dinnertime yet...?
[13:12] Anti-Aging
    I want braised burdock root and rice soup...
[13:19] Draluc
    You haven't turned back yet?
    What a persistent power.
[13:25] Yomotsuzaka (young)
    Oh, I won't let you fools go back yet.
[13:28] Draluc
    Damn idiot dog mask director psycho!
[13:30] Yomotsuzaka (young)
    It's my chance to experiment
    on everyone in town!
[13:34] Yomotsuzaka (young)
    I'll turn them back after I've turned
    them all into my guinea pigs.
[13:36] Draluc
    Idiot! You need to be demoted!
[13:39] Master (young)
    Stop that! I won't allow it!
[13:42] Yomotsuzaka (young)
    Looks like you've got your adult mind back!
[13:44] Yomotsuzaka (young)
    How does it work?
    I'll look into it, guinea pig!
[13:54] Draluc
    Oh, he's back.
[13:57] Hinaichi
    Huh?
[13:59] Yomotsuzaka
    M-My back...
[14:02] Senya
    Oh, dear, I'm back...
[14:05] Ronaldo
    Lord Dral...
[14:06] Draluc
    Oh, you're back, too, Sensation-aldo?
[14:10] Ronaldo
    What... What happened...?
[14:14] Ronaldo
    To me--to us?!
[14:19] Handa
    What's that?
[14:22] Sign
    "Miracle, Manacle, Why Do I
    Always End Up Like This?"
[14:23] Nagiri
    Ever since coming to this town,
    nothing good has happened to me.
[14:28] Nagiri
    My name, Tsujigiri Nagiri, has been forgotten,
    and my strength has been weakening.
[14:33] Nagiri
    But I won't run away.
[14:35] Nagiri
    I'll get revenge on those hunters
    and take my name--
[14:39] Kantaro
    Tsujita! What a coincidence!
    I'm so glad to see you!
[14:43] Sign
    "Vamima!!!"
[14:43] Kantaro
    Oh, here!
[14:45] Nagiri/Kantaro
    --What... What did I ever do to you...?
    --You can have the warabimochi I just bought!
[14:49] Nagiri
    Well, I did do a bunch of stuff...
[14:51] Kantaro
    Please help me on my quest
    to arrest Tsujigiri today, too!
[14:54] Nagiri
    You're too loud! Why do you
    keep bumping into me?
[14:56] Nagiri
    Are you a stalker or something?
[14:58] Kantaro
    No, I just patrol the alleys
    where Tsujigiri might appear...
[15:03] Nagiri
    It must be a coincidence, then.
    Sorry for suspecting you.
[15:06] Nagiri
    Anyway, I'm busy today.
[15:07] Kantaro
    Actually, I got a new weapon
    to counter Tsujigiri!
[15:11] Nagiri
    I've got a bad feeling...
[15:13] Kantaro
    Special anti-Tsujigiri restraining handcuffs!
[15:16] Kantaro
    They're made from an alloy of
    orichalcum and Shinyokohamanium!
[15:19] Kantaro
    These won't come off without
    cutting our hands off at the wrist.
[15:22] Kantaro
    Not without this key!
[15:24] Nagiri
    I have a really bad feeling about this.
[15:27] Nagiri
    And I've never been able
    to escape my bad feelings.
[15:31] Kantaro
    Tsujita?
[15:37] Sign
    "[Blood-Sucking Bagworm]
    They attach to various objects
    and make a bag around themselves. Inferior Vampire"
[15:39] Kantaro
    Wh-What is that?!
[15:40] Nagiri
    Oh, no...
[15:42] Kantaro
    Tsujita!
[15:51] Nagiri
    Damn that inferior vampire!
[15:54] Kantaro
    Are you all right, Tsujita?
[15:59] Kantaro
    You got stuck to me!
[16:01] Nagiri
    Don't treat me like a stinkbug!
[16:03] Nagiri
    Get this off right now! Where's the key?
[16:05] Kantaro
    Oh! Right! Please wait--
[16:10] Kantaro
    I lost it...!
[16:10] Nagiri
    Say that louder!
[16:12] Kantaro
    It was probably rolled up by that bug earlier...
[16:15] Nagiri
    Idiot! Then cut the chain with your pile bunker!
[16:18] Kantaro
    Right!
[16:19] Kantaro
    But it's very powerful,
    so if we're not careful...
[16:22] Kantaro
    ...it could go "boom"!
[16:24] Nagiri
    Don't walk around an urban area
    with something like that!
[16:26] Kantaro
    Scum! Dimwit! And you call
    yourself an officer of the law?!
[16:29] Kantaro
    I'm truly sorry!
[16:30] Kantaro
    Let's go right now to Vamp Control
    and have them cut the chain--
[16:33] Nagiri
    Sorry, I said too much.
    I'm used to this now, so it's fine.
[16:36] Kantaro
    Used to the handcuffs? Why?
    Is that what you like...?
[16:38] Nagiri
    I'm used to this kind of trouble!
[16:40] Nagiri/Kantaro
    --I won't let you take me to
    the Vampire Control Division!
    --Tsujita...?
[16:44] Nagiri
    If they figure out who I am,
    I'll be trapped like a rat.
[16:46] Nagiri
    Oh, well...
[16:48] Nagiri
    I don't think you should break this after going
    through the trouble of having it made.
[16:50] Nagiri
    Go after the key!
[16:51] Kantaro
    Good idea, Tsujita! Let's go!
[16:56] Kantaro
    Where'd you go, Mr. Bug? This way?!
[17:00] Kantaro
    Tsujita!
[17:01] Namima Manager
    Welcome! W-We have fresh fries...!
[17:05] Customer
    What, is that a missile?!
[17:06] Nagiri
    Die, all of you!
[17:07] Kantaro
    It's not a missile! He is a kind
    and good young man!
[17:11] Kantaro
    He just happens to be handcuffed to me!
[17:14] Customer
    Why? Is that what you like?
[17:15] Nagiri
    Why did you leave out the word "accidentally"?!
[17:17] Hinaichi
    Kantaro! What's going on?
[17:19] Kantaro
    Oh, Vice-Captain!
[17:22] Hinaichi
    You're the exhibitionist from back then!
[17:24] Hinaichi
    Did you expose yourself again?!
[17:26] Nagiri
    No!
[17:27] Nagiri (imaginary)
    The blue sky is mine!
[17:30] Nagiri
    What are you imagining? I'll kill you!
[17:32] Kantaro
    I-If you go to places specifically for
    exhibitionists, then it's not illegal...
[17:37] Nagiri
    That's not it! That was an accident!
    Anyway, get me out of here first!
[17:37] Sign
    "Vamima!!!"
[17:45] Nagiri
    Look for the bug properly.
    Don't do anything dumb, or I'll kill you.
[17:49] Kantaro
    Right.
[17:50] Handa
    Kantaro! And Vice-Captain, too!
[17:53] Hinaichi
    Good work. It looks like you were
    able to expel the land cliones?
[17:57] Handa
    Yeah. But then I thought
    I smelled a vampire nearby.
[18:01] Hinaichi
    What?
[18:02] Kantaro
    It might be the bug from earlier!
[18:03] Kantaro
    Tsujita!
[18:04] Nagiri/Kantaro
    --Yes?
    --How eccentric!
[18:06] Nagiri
    I-I-I-I can't deal with a dhampir...
[18:09] Nagiri
    If he sniffs out my true identity,
    then I'll be skewered on the pile bunker.
[18:13] Handa
    Oh, sorry, that clione!
    Let me help you!
[18:15] Nagiri
    N-No, I'm fine like this...
[18:18] Nagiri
    I-I like stuff like this...
[18:20] Handa
    I apologize for my rudeness!
[18:22] Nagiri (imaginary)
    I can't see in front of me!
[18:24] Nagiri
    That's not it! N-No, wait...
[18:28] Nagiri
    Listen! If he's a dhampir, then he can
    sense the presence of a vampire!
[18:33] Nagiri
    Make him find that bug!
[18:35] Kantaro
    Oh, right!
[18:36] Kantaro
    Do you sense a large inferior vampire
    somewhere around here?
[18:40] Handa
    A large one?
[18:44] Handa
    I think I smell one about 300 meters ahead.
[18:47] Nagiri
    All right, let's go, officer!
[18:48] Kantaro
    Right!
[18:50] Handa
    Oh! Hey, Kantaro!
[18:52] Hinaichi
    Kantaro!
[19:00] Kantaro
    A blood-sucking bagworm...?
[19:03] Kantaro
    They collect metal and use it
    for their bag, right?
[19:07] Kantaro
    But this one's way too big!
[19:11] Nagiri
    It's quite common for inferior vampires.
[19:14] Nagiri
    That one probably ate
    something good and got huge.
[19:17] Kantaro
    You sure know a lot, Tsujita!
[19:21] Nagiri
    Looks like I'm lucky when it
    comes to finding bugs, damn it.
[19:26] Kantaro
    Stop in the name of the law, Mr. Bug!
[19:29] Kantaro
    Tsujita, it's the key! On its back!
[19:31] Nagiri
    Give that to us, you insect!
[19:41] Nagiri
    It emerged with wings?!
[19:47] Kantaro
    It's Mr. Bug 2.0!
[20:14] Nagiri
    Damn it, are you picking a fight?!
[20:16] Nagiri
    No, I can't do anything that would
    let this idiot know who I am.
[20:20] Kantaro
    Are you all right, Tsujita?
[20:57] Kantaro
    Th-Thank you, Tsujita!
[21:02] Nagiri
    L-Listen, get down slowly...
[21:06] Nagiri
    Don't pull... M-My spine... will break...
[21:15] Kantaro
    You saved me earlier! How did you do it?
[21:18] Nagiri
    Wh-Who knows? It was a really sticky wall!
[21:23] Kantaro
    I deeply apologize for bringing you
    into such a dangerous situation.
[21:27] Kantaro
    I even dropped my pile bunker.
    I really messed up...
[21:31] Nagiri
    Without that weapon, you're just a dimwit.
[21:36] Nagiri
    As thanks for today, I'll slash yo--
[21:39] Handa
    Kantaro!
[21:40] Hinaichi
    What happened with the vampire?
[21:41] Kantaro
    Oh, right. Thanks to Mr. Tsujita--
[21:44] Nagiri
    I-It's what I like...
[21:47] Kantaro
    It looks very good on you!
[23:21] Sign
    "Someone who brings calamity"
[23:25] Sign
    "Unexpected disaster"
[23:28] Hiyoshi
    We need to warm up somehow...
[23:30] Mikazuki
    Ronaldo, I'm so cold...
[23:33] Ronaldo
    Doing this won't help! Everyone--
[23:36] Draluc
    The vampire dies in no time.

E11 - Please Suggest Warming Each Other Up

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:05] Mikazuki
    There's no signal, so we can't contact anyone.
    We're stuck here, aren't we?!
[00:09] Hiyoshi
    Stuck? Just our luck...
[00:12] Ronaldo
    That joke's frigid, and so are we, Br--Captain.
[00:15] Hiyoshi
    Yes...
[00:18] Hiyoshi
    How did we end up like this?
[01:53] On Top
    "Please Suggest Warming Each Other Up"
[01:53] Excited By Snow
    I am the vampire, Excited By Snow!
[01:56] Ronaldo
    So it was you?!
[01:57] Ronaldo
    You made this snowstorm?
[01:59] Hiyoshi
    You must be a very powerful vampire
    to be able to control the weather.
[02:03] Mikazuki
    Make the snow stop right now!
[02:05] Excited By Snow
    ♬ Come, let it snow ♬
[02:07] Excited By Snow
    ♬ Let it come down fast ♬
[02:13] Excited By Snow
    It's coming down harder than I expected!
[02:22] Hiyoshi
    We were lucky we happened to find
    this hut in the mountains, but...
[02:25] Ronaldo
    Sorry, Mikazuki...
[02:27] Ronaldo
    After you came all the way out
    to Shin-Yokohama again, too.
[02:30] Mikazuki
    No, this isn't your fault, Ronaldo.
[02:33] Micro Bikini
    This is your own fault.
[02:34] Micro Bikini
    Because you drove that vampire
    who can control snow into a corner.
[02:38] Ronaldo
    And what are you doing here in your bikini?!
[02:40] Micro Bikini
    Shut up! What's wrong with coming here
    to do winter sports in a bikini?
[02:44] Ronaldo
    Well? Did you get lost? In your bikini?
[02:46] Hiyoshi
    You have zero life skills.
[02:48] Micro Bikini
    Then, what about him?
[02:52] Ronaldo
    He's just a naked old man now!
    Don't sit huddled up like that!
[02:55] Nudenium
    I just wanted to see the spring buds
    on the mountains...
[03:00] Ronaldo
    But what about clothes?!
    At least put on a cloak or something!
[03:03] Excited By Snow
    Everyone, first, please calm down--
[03:04] Ronaldo
    Who the hell is this old guy?!
[03:06] Excited By Snow
    Oh, it's me. My clothes got wet...
[03:07] On Top
    "Vampire - Excited By Snow"
[03:09] Ronaldo
    You?!
[03:10] Hiyoshi
    Why were you doing that in those clothes?
[03:13] Excited By Snow
    I was working at city hall,
    but I got tired of my work...
[03:18] Excited By Snow
    Next, please.
[03:19] Excited By Snow
    More importantly, you should
    take off everything that got wet.
[03:22] Excited By Snow
    Otherwise, you'll be even colder.
[03:25] Ronaldo/Hiyoshi
    This is your fault to begin with!
[03:28] Ronaldo
    Anyway, we need to get warm somehow!
[03:30] Micro Bikini
    But this place is as heated as a beach
    house--which is to say, it's not.
[03:33] Ronaldo
    You, make the snow stop!
[03:35] Excited By Snow
    Even if I can make it snow,
    I can't make it stop, snow!
[03:38] Hiyoshi
    He puts that on when things
    get dicey for him, huh?
[03:41] Excited By Snow
    Sorry, snow!
[03:42] Hiyoshi
    The snow won't stop, and we have no heaters.
[03:45] Hiyoshi
    It's dangerous to let our
    body temperatures drop.
[03:47] Hiyoshi
    The only thing we can do is...
[03:51] Everyone except Nudenium
    Get naked and hold each other to warm up!
[03:55] Hiyoshi
    But who could say that? With these guys?!
[03:57] Hiyoshi
    No way!
[03:58] Ronaldo
    If I say it first, will Mikazuki
    and my brother think I'm gross?
[04:03] Micro Bikini
    How could I suggest holding each
    other with a bunch of humans?
[04:07] Mikazuki
    I can't undermine my cool image
    any more than I already have...
[04:10] Excited By Snow
    This isn't something the cause
    of all of this could suggest...
[04:13] Everyone except Nudenium
    Will someone please suggest warming
    each other up by holding each other naked?
[04:20] Ronaldo
    If it's come to this, then I have no choice.
    Everyone, when you're naked--
[04:23] Hiyoshi
    Oh, yeah, please say it!
[04:25] Ronaldo
    When you're naked, what does it feel like?
[04:27] Hiyoshi
    What are you saying?!
[04:28] Nudenium
    It's not bad.
[04:29] Hiyoshi
    Put on some clothes!
[04:31] Mikazuki
    Ronaldo, I'm so cold...
[04:33] Hiyoshi
    Oh, nice pass, young 'un!
[04:36] Nudenium
    Oh, no! Take these flowers to wear.
    You can use them for kindling, too--
[04:40] Mikazuki
    Fresh flowers won't burn, idiot!
[04:42] Hiyoshi
    This is bad. I need to do something--
[04:45] Hiyoshi
    Excited Snow, no matter how we got here,
[04:48] Hiyoshi
    since all six of us are stuck here together,
    we need to work together.
[04:51] Excited By Snow
    Yes...?
[04:52] Hiyoshi
    Shall we get to know one another better?
[04:55] Hiyoshi
    What do you think we should do?
    Shake hands, or...
[04:59] Hiyoshi
    ...hug?
[05:00] Excited By Snow
    I'm sorry for the trouble I have caused.
    I am Excited By Snow.
[05:05] On Top
    "Vampire
    Excited By Snow - Ureo Yukifuri"
[05:05] Excited By Snow
    My real name is Ureo Yukifuri.
[05:08] Ronaldo
    He's a real person!
    Makes sense for someone from city hall!
[05:11] On Top
    "Vampire
    Micro Bikini"
[05:11] Micro Bikini
    Thank you for introducing yourself.
    Here is my card.
[05:14] Hiyoshi
    Why the hell do you have a business card?!
[05:16] Ronaldo
    Anyone can tell that you're
    a bikini with one look!
[05:22] Micro Bikini
    It's not good, this is too cold!
[05:24] Micro Bikini
    I'm losing feeling in my nipples...!
[05:26] Micro Bikini
    In this situation, I'd even be willing
    to warm myself up with humans.
[05:29] Micro Bikini
    In fact, I'd be happy to!
[05:31] Micro Bikini
    But I will one day be an emperor who will
    rule over the humans. I can't suggest it--
[05:37] Micro Bikini
    Should I just bite them now?
[05:39] Everyone/Micro Bikini
    --Bikini... Bikini...
    --If they're all wearing bikinis,
    then they'll all obediently become my heaters!
[05:45] Micro Bikini
    I don't even have to take off their clothes.
    Bikinis really do rule!
[05:49] Micro Bikini
    Put on a bikini for me!
[05:55] Ronaldo
    Take that!
[05:59] Ronaldo
    You think I can't counter a bikini?
[06:01] Hiyoshi
    You're so used to it.
[06:03] Mikazuki
    Why were you trying to bite him
    at a time like this?
[06:07] Ronaldo
    You wanted us to warm each other up?
[06:09] Hiyoshi
    You should've just asked.
[06:11] Mikazuki
    I don't want to be friends with
    a bikini guy who can't communicate.
[06:14] Micro Bikini
    Idiots! An emergency's a great time to
    start the charge on my world conquest!
[06:19] Ronaldo
    We're in trouble here because
    we can't get back to that world!
[06:22] Hiyoshi
    If they find six guys in bikinis,
    we'll just end up on a talk show.
[06:25] Mikazuki
    I don't want to be your friend.
[06:30] Mikazuki
    But I'm really getting colder...
[06:33] Ronaldo
    I'm in even more trouble now, too...
[06:36] Hiyoshi
    Is Nude okay?
[06:37] Hiyoshi
    Oh, no! He's catching a cold with
    a peaceful expression on his face!
[06:39] Ronaldo
    He's turned into Preserved Nude!
[06:43] Ronaldo
    I can't be weirdly stubborn any longer!
[06:47] Ronaldo
    Sorry, everyone. I was too embarrassed
    to say how we should be dealing with this.
[06:53] Ronaldo
    Even though it affected the safety
    of the public. I'm sorry!
[06:57] Hiyoshi
    That's right. Why am I being so stubborn?
[07:01] Ronaldo
    In order to keep our body
    temperature from going any lower,
[07:03] Ronaldo
    we should forget our embarrassment,
    get naked... and while naked--
[07:09] Ronaldo
    While naked--!
[07:11] Ronaldo
    We should dance!
[07:17] Hiyoshi
    Dance, huh?
[07:40] Sagyo
    It'll be hard to find them in such heavy snow...
[07:44] Draluc
    At this rate, even if they're gorillas,
    they'll be frozen in ice!
[07:53] Sagyo
    A house is coming!
[07:54] Handa
    I feel the presence of a vampire, too!
[07:58] Shot
    Those voices are...!
[07:59] Draluc
    It's Dumb-aldo and the others!
[08:06] Sagyo
    It's a miracle!
[08:08] Sagyo
    You're okay, Captain?
[08:12] Sagyo
    Captain!
[08:14] Draluc
    Hm?
[08:16] Ronaldo
    It's no good, it's cold.
    Let's warm each other up.
[08:19] Hiyoshi
    Soya...
[08:20] Nudenium
    Yes, the warmth of other people...
[08:29] Ronalduel Official Narrator
    On today's show!
[08:31] On Top
    "Legend of the Ronaldist"
[08:31] Ronalduel Official Narrator
    In addition to his job as a hunter,
[08:32] Ronalduel Official Narrator
    this man writes his own autobiographical
    novels, The War Chronicles of Ronaldo.
[08:37] Ronalduel Official Narrator
    He's Ronaldo!
[08:38] Ronalduel Official Narrator
    He has forgotten about his deadline today, too!
[08:44] Ronaldo
    Yes?!
[08:45] Sanzu
    I-I-I-Is this Ronaldo?!
    This is Sanzu from Autumn Books!
[08:49] Ronaldo
    Huh?! Oh, hello!
[08:50] Sanzu
    Today, Fukuma had to make a sudden
    business trip, so I will be, eheh,
[08:54] Sanzu
    going to collect the manuscript in his place!
[08:56] Ronaldo
    That's it! If it's Sanzu,
    she might give me an extension!
[09:00] On Top
    "Ronaldo Vampire Hunter Agency"
[09:00] Sanzu
    H-H-H-H-Hello! It is I, Sanzu!
    I have come for the manuscript!
[09:05] Sanzu
    Huh? Ronaldo? Are you home?
[09:09] Ronaldo
    I felt so guilty that I instantly hid.
[09:13] Sanzu
    Did something happen?
[09:15] Sanzu
    There's no way it'd be something absurd
    like him not having the manuscript.
[09:19] Sanzu
    A sudden case or something--?
[09:23] Sanzu
    Who the hell are you?!
[09:25] Handa
    Hm? Who are you?
    Tell me your name first.
[09:28] Sanzu
    I, Sanzu, am just here as a proxy
    for Ronaldo's editor!
[09:31] Handa
    I'm Tou Handa. I'm part of the Vampire
    Control Division's Hiyoshi Squad.
[09:35] Sanzu
    You're from Vamp Control...
    Are you here for a vampire?
[09:38] Handa
    No, I came to put caterpillar
    figurines in his desk drawer.
[09:42] Ronaldo/Sanzu
    Why would you do that?!
[09:43] Handa
    So I can laugh at that idiot's stupid
    scaredy-cat face, of course!
[09:47] Sanzu
    Bastard! Ronaldo isn't an idiot or stupid!
[09:50] Handa
    Hm? You're just a proxy editor!
    How would you know?
[09:54] Sanzu
    What about you? What are you to Ronaldo?!
[09:58] Handa
    I was his classmate for
    three years in high school,
[10:00] Handa
    and I supervise him as part of Vamp Control.
[10:03] Sanzu
    He's closer to Ronaldo than I expected!
[10:05] Sanzu
    But I won't allow you to insult Ronaldo!
    I'll have you recognize how cool Ronaldo is!
[10:11] Sanzu
    In other words...
    I challenge you to a Ronalduel!
[10:16] Ronalduel Official Narrator
    A Ronalduel!
[10:18] Ronalduel Official Narrator
    It's a duel where Ronaldists fight
    with their knowledge and merch!
[10:23] Ronaldo
    What's that?
[10:24] Handa
    You want to challenge me
    to a Ronalduel? Interesting!
[10:27] Handa
    I'll show you how lame he is,
    impulsive Ronaldist!
[10:30] Ronaldo
    What's a Ronaldist?!
[10:32] Sanzu
    I won't lose to a dark Ronaldist like you!
[10:36] Ronaldo
    There are dark and light versions?!
[10:40] Sanzu
    I, Sanzu, will go first!
[10:44] Ronaldo
    What are you two doing?
[10:46] Ronalduel Official Narrator
    Ronalduel, start!
[10:49] Sanzu
    I summon three Ronaldo bromide
    cards as an advance guard!
[10:53] Ronalduel Official Narrator
    In a Ronalduel, players deploy Ronaldo merch
    and throw out Ronaldo facts to advance.
[11:00] On Top
    "The War Chronicles of Ronaldo"
[11:00] Sanzu
    In addition, in the rear guard, I have The
    Ronaldo Chronicles Volume 1, page 128!
[11:04] Sanzu
    I open it to the page of the last dance
    battle scene in "Vampire of Dance"!
[11:09] Ronaldo
    I don't know what's going on or what
    the rules are, but I can't take this anymore!
[11:12] Sanzu
    The books and goods all exist
    because of his achievements!
[11:14] Sanzu
    It's obvious how cool Ronaldo is!
[11:17] Ronaldo
    Sanzu...
[11:20] Handa
    Such a well-behaved Ronalduel!
    You're going exactly by the rulebook!
[11:24] Sanzu
    What?!
[11:25] Ronaldo
    There's a rulebook?!
[11:26] Handa
    If we're talking bromide cards,
    you need to put out something like this.
[11:30] Sanzu
    Th-That's--!
[11:30] On Top
    "Ronaldo"
[11:31] Handa
    Sold out in two seconds! The super rare
    Yakyuken Edition bromide card!
[11:34] Sanzu
    It's even got a disgraceful
    handwritten autograph!
[11:38] Ronaldo
    I don't understand how they're determining
    who wins or loses, but I want to die!
[11:42] Handa
    On top of that, on page 278 of Volume 1,
    the book you opened, where he writes:
[11:46] Handa
    "I've now reversed the trap
    the vampire of dance set for me!
[11:50] Handa
    It's become a mechanism for me to throw stakes!"
[11:53] Handa
    This was when the vampire, Proto-Limbo Dancer,
    made that idiot limbo dance,
[11:57] Ronaldo/Handa
    --Soya!
    --and he sent his opponent flying and won!
[11:59] Handa
    --and he sent his opponent flying and won!
[12:01] Sanzu
    What?!
[12:02] Handa
    He exaggerated in a way that's like,
    "Well, I wasn't lying..." That guy's an idiot!
[12:06] Sanzu
    Th-This isn't just information he'd get
    because of his advantageous position!
[12:10] Sanzu
    His recitation of The Ronaldo Chronicles
    from memory! And his analysis!
[12:13] Sanzu
    He's a super dreadnought-class Ronaldist!
[12:15] Sanzu
    You! How did you become so powerful?
[12:18] Handa
    How? I read carefully, of course!
[12:21] Sanzu
    Why would a dark Ronaldist
    like you read so carefully?!
[12:25] Handa
    In order to make fun of him
    with everything I've got!
[12:29] Handa
    To make fun of someone,
    you need to know your enemy.
[12:32] Handa
    I wouldn't do something like
    criticize a movie I haven't seen!
[12:36] Handa
    "You can't say bad things about
    people you don't know."
[12:38] Handa
    My mother taught me that.
[12:40] Sanzu
    Damn it! I won't lose!
[12:43] Sanzu
    I was a fan of The Ronaldo Chronicles
    ever since it was a blog!
[12:46] Ronalduel Official Narrator
    Let me explain!
[12:47] Ronalduel Official Narrator
    The Ronaldo Chronicles books
[12:48] Ronalduel Official Narrator
    originated with a blog Ronaldo had
    to promote the profession of hunter.
[12:53] Sanzu
    The writing in The Ronaldo Chronicles
    is one of Ronaldo's charms!
[12:56] Sanzu
    I'll show you the origin of that!
[12:59] Sanzu
    This is a poem Ronaldo once posted on his blog!
[13:04] Sanzu
    "We look up at the dim moon,
    looking down on the blurring town.
[13:08] Sanzu
    We howl at the unending night,
    and cry at the contourless day.
[13:12] Sanzu
    Oh, that light will come split the sky again."
[13:17] Sanzu
    What?!
[13:18] Handa
    Are you done with your counterattack?
    Then, here I go.
[13:22] Handa
    This will be my final turn!
[13:24] Handa
    Field item: High School Album!
[13:27] Handa
    This field is now under the influence
    of our high school years!
[13:31] On Top
    "Calling"
[13:31] Handa
    And then, a combination summoning!
    A high school classmate!
[13:34] Kameya
    Hi, I'm Kameya!
[13:36] Handa/Kameya
    Double Attack! Picture Summoning!
[13:39] Handa
    Ronaldo not being able to get
    a traffic cone off his head!
[13:42] Handa
    Ronaldo not being able
    to get out of a ball cage!
[13:46] Handa
    Ronaldo not being able to get a porn DVD
    out of the DVD player in the AV room!
[13:51] Handa
    A 3-combo attack of Ronaldo
    not being able to get out!
[13:54] Sanzu
    I want those pictures!
[13:56] Ronaldo
    Kill me now.
[13:58] Handa
    Do you understand the difference
    in our strength now?
[14:00] Handa
    You should just acknowledge that he's lame!
[14:03] Sanzu
    N-Not yet...
[14:05] Sanzu
    L-Look at this picture.
[14:08] Handa
    What's with that blurry picture?
[14:11] Sanzu
    I was saved by Ronaldo before in the past.
[14:15] Sanzu
    When I was getting off work late one night,
    a vampire appeared in front of Autumn Books.
[14:21] Sanzu
    He probably doesn't remember,
    but it made me an even bigger fan.
[14:26] Sanzu
    This is the picture he let me take back then.
    It's the coolest picture I have of Ronaldo!
[14:37] Kameya
    That's a good picture.
[14:40] Kameya
    Even though that guy's strong,
    he can be kind of dumb and weirdly shy,
[14:44] Kameya
    so even I have trouble
    taking cool pictures of him.
[14:48] Kameya
    You took a good picture when you had the chance.
    You really are Ronaldo's fan.
[14:53] Ronaldo
    What the heck, Kameya?
    You said something kind of good...
[14:58] Handa
    It's hard to tell who won now.
[15:01] Sanzu
    But there are no ties in Ronalduels!
[15:04] Handa
    Then, let's have him decide who won in person.
[15:12] Ronaldo
    If you knew I was here, then don't do this!
[15:19] Ronaldo
    Sanzu!
[15:22] Fukuma
    Ronaldo.
[15:24] Fukuma
    How's progress on your manuscript?
[15:29] Ronaldo
    Please wait another two weeks!
[15:32] Fukuma
    No.
[15:33] On Top
    "Tou Handa"
    "I took this picture of Ronaldo poking
    at a toy celery he thinks is real"
[15:34] Sanzu
    Thanks.
[15:38] On Top
    "Waltz with the Smiling Ice Lord
    in the Town of the Eternal"
[15:38] Northdin
    Young lady who smells of roses,
    please allow me to touch my lips to your blood.
[15:46] Girl
    Yes, of course.
[15:53] Ronaldo
    Blood sucking cases?!
[15:55] Hinaichi
    They appear to be happening in
    succession in the next town over.
[15:58] Hinaichi
    But it's strange.
[15:59] Hinaichi
    All the victims are female, but they all
    say that they gave the blood willingly.
[16:05] Hinaichi
    They said the "Smiling Ice Lord"
    was a kind and wonderful man.
[16:09] Draluc
    Smiling... Ice...?
[16:11] Hinaichi
    Apparently, he has a "smile of ice."
[16:13] Ronaldo
    That's a pretentious name.
[16:14] Hinaichi
    I'm heading to the scene right now.
[16:17] Ronaldo/Hinaichi
    --Okay.
    --Later.
[16:18] Ronaldo
    All right, we should go to the guild, too--
[16:20] Ronaldo
    A weirdo!
[16:21] Draluc
    I'm arming myself for the extermination, idiot!
[16:23] Ronaldo
    You look like an old guy having
    too much fun at a festival!
[16:26] Draluc
    This is no time to dawdle!
[16:27] Draluc
    The public is in danger! We must deal
    with him as soon as possible!
[16:30] Ronaldo
    Did you eat a poisonous mushroom or something?
[16:32] Draluc
    Listen! We need to increase the power
    of all the gorillas and blow that guy away!
[16:37] Ronaldo
    Wait. Do you know something about him?
[16:40] Northdin
    "That guy"? How rude, Draluc.
[16:44] Northdin
    You never learn, do you?
    I believe I taught you at the beginning--
[16:48] Northdin
    Call me "Mister"--
[16:51] Northdin
    "Mister Northdin."
[16:51] On Top
    "Vampire - Northdin"
[16:55] Ronaldo
    Who are you?!
[16:56] Draluc
    He came out! The show-off
    toothbrush mustache bastard!
[16:58] Draluc
    What the hell's a "Something Something Lord"?!
[17:00] Draluc
    A warbler crying in ancient Kyoto,
    drunk as a lord?!
[17:01] Draluc
    Look, 'aldo! That air chair! He's focusing
    telekinetic power on his butt to float!
[17:06] Draluc
    He's the Tryhard Hovering-Butt Lord!
[17:08] Ronaldo
    No way! You see that air chair
    all the time in movies and stuff!
[17:11] Ronaldo
    No, that's not it! Who the hell's
    this "Butt-Hovering Lord"?!
[17:15] Draluc
    That guy's Northdin.
[17:16] Draluc
    A vampire obsessed with sex who's apparently
    got the nickname "Smiling Ice Lord."
[17:21] Draluc
    He's the one who taught me
    the basics of being a vampire...
[17:24] Draluc
    Kind of like a former tutor!
[17:27] Northdin
    Not "former," bungling apprentice.
[17:30] Draluc
    What?!
[17:33] Northdin
    Oh? Did you think fake crying
    would work on me?
[17:40] Northdin
    Are you trying to act cute to avoid work?
    You're a bit old for that now.
[17:45] Draluc
    I don't like saying this myself,
[17:46] Draluc
    but he's the one responsible for turning
    the ephemeral beautiful young boy I was
[17:49] Draluc
    into the wicked vampire with
    furrowed brows that I am today!
[17:52] Ronaldo
    You really shouldn't say that yourself!
[17:55] Northdin
    I just came to greet you after we've been apart
    for so long. But you look well, so I'm glad.
[18:01] Northdin
    Good for you...
[18:03] Northdin
    It looks like you're being
    provided for by a kind human.
[18:07] Draluc
    Shut up! You old mustachioed philanderer!
    Looks like your eyesight's going!
[18:12] Draluc
    Does it look like I'm being provided for here?!
    It's the opposite! The opposite!
[18:15] Draluc
    I'm providing for this town! For Shin-Yoko!
    It's under my control! It's my castle town!
[18:20] Draluc
    I can order those gorillas to beat you up
    and put you in a bikini with one finger!
[18:25] Northdin
    Oh? Is this your town? Interesting!
[18:28] Northdin
    I'll test just how strong your control is.
[18:32] Ronaldo
    Oh, wait!
[18:36] Ronaldo
    Bastard! What's he planning?!
[18:39] Northdin
    Strawberry flower that
    blooms wild in the spring,
[18:42] Northdin
    will you spare me a glance
    with the rustle of the wind?
[18:47] Woman
    What's with this weird man?
    My heart's fluttering!
[18:49] Ronaldo
    Stop, what are you doing?
[18:51] Northdin
    I'm seducing a girl.
[18:54] Ronaldo
    Why now?! Is it fate?
[18:55] Draluc
    Bastard! How can you seduce a girl in my town?!
[18:58] Ronaldo
    And you! What are you,
    the headmaster of an all-girls school?!
[19:01] Draluc
    Idiot! This is one of his powers--"charm"!
[19:06] Draluc
    Anyone whose heart flutters even a little at
    his words will have to do whatever he wants!
[19:10] Ronaldo
    What did you say?!
[19:12] Draluc
    Capture him! The whole town
    will turn into his fan club!
[19:15] Ronaldo
    Damn it! Don't move from there!
[19:17] Middle-Aged Woman A
    Don't be violent with Northie!
[19:19] Middle-Aged Women
    Old Lady Defense Formation!
[19:21] Ronaldo
    He's already got a fan club!
[19:23] Middle-Aged Women/Draluc
    --Heave-ho!
    --Sand!
[19:26] Ta Chan
    What are you doing, idiots?
[19:29] Northdin
    I see a hunter. What a lovely lady.
[19:32] Northdin
    I'm sure many vampires would be happy
    to present their hearts to you.
[19:36] Ronaldo
    Be careful, Ta Chan!
[19:37] Draluc
    Don't get excited by his words!
[19:40] Ta Chan
    What's that all of a sudden?
    Don't you have common sense?
[19:43] Ta Chan
    Don't get excited about a young woman
    at your age, you kind of dumb old man.
[19:48] Ta Chan
    I'll give you some garlic from our stock,
[19:49] Ta Chan
    so eat that to get rid of your
    old man smell and then die.
[19:55] Northdin
    Delicious. Thank you, Miss.
[19:57] Ronaldo
    What?!
[19:59] Northdin
    With your skill, this can
    become a jewel-like dish.
[20:04] Ta Chan
    What... did you say?
[20:07] Draluc
    Ta Chan!
[20:08] Ronaldo
    It counts as a flutter if you think, "This guy's
    pretty good," too?! That's cheating!
[20:11] Northdin
    A gentleman seduces every woman in sight.
[20:15] Ronaldo
    If you walk in front of a women's college,
    you'll get an error and die!
[20:18] Northdin
    A lovely warrior's valiant fruits
    of battle shine under beautiful light.
[20:24] Maria
    The ostrich is calm...
[20:26] Ronaldo
    Maria!
[20:27] Northdin
    Your eyes are fiery rubies,
[20:30] Northdin
    like the light from Mars that
    shines in the darkness of night.
[20:33] Mimimi
    It's like the stargazing of love has started!
[20:36] Northdin
    Hello, Miss.
[20:39] Ronaldo
    He's being eaten!
[20:41] On Top
    "Translation: Your beautiful lips
    are like a field of red spider lilies.
    I can't see anything else."
[20:47] Ronaldo
    You're pretty amazing!
[20:49] Northdin
    All women, regardless of rank or class!
[20:53] Northdin
    From zygotes to ghosts,
    I'll sincerely seduce any woman!
[20:56] Ronaldo
    You're cool scum!
[20:58] Middle-Aged Woman B
    We won't let you...
[20:59] Middle-Aged Woman A
    ...say bad things about Northie!
[21:00] Middle-Aged Women
    Old Lady Cannonball! Heave-ho!
[21:02] Ronaldo
    Please stop them!
[21:04] Hinaichi
    You over there, don't move!
[21:07] Hinaichi
    I'm taking you in for seducing
    women to drink their blood!
[21:10] Northdin
    Oh, brave red-haired princess!
[21:13] Draluc
    Stop, Northdin!
[21:15] Northdin
    I am honored to make your acquaintance.
[21:17] Hinaichi
    What?!
[21:23] Ronaldo
    Hinaichi!
[21:26] Ronaldo
    Everyone...
[21:28] Northdin
    Now, a villain needs a stronghold.
[21:40] Satetsu
    Maria? Ta Chan?!
[21:42] Shot
    What's the matter?
[21:44] Satetsu
    W-Wait a minute!
[21:50] Shot
    That guy's--
[21:52] Satetsu
    There are civilians there, too.
    Don't do anything yet.
[21:58] Northdin
    I am now in complete control.
    This chair is a little hard...
[22:05] Draluc
    The vampire dies in no time.

E12 - Fun Stupid Guys in Shin-Yokohama Special ver.

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Northdin
    Hey, Draluc, are you listening?
[00:04] Northdin
    Shin-Yoko is full of wonderful women,
    and I quite like it.
[00:09] Northdin
    Oh, excuse me.
    This was your town, wasn't it?
[00:14] Northdin
    You need to hurry up and exterminate
    me with that one finger of yours.
[00:19] Northdin
    Well, I'm looking forward to it.
[00:23] Draluc
    Gentlemen. Sorry, but I'd
    like to ask for your help.
[00:27] Draluc
    I'll teach that bastard a lesson!
[02:02] Master
    I can't believe this happened
    while I was away...
[02:03] Sign
    "Waltz with the Smiling Ice Lord
    in the Town of the Eternal, Continued"
[02:05] Shot
    Sorry, Master. I'm ashamed.
[02:08] Senya
    I wanted him to use Charm on me, too.
[02:11] Medoki
    We can't lay hands on civilians, either.
[02:17] Satetsu
    Oh, um, excuse me. This place
    is dangerous right now...
[02:22] Ronaldo
    Don't tell me they're being controlled!
[02:23] Senya
    Oh, dear, he can use Charm
    without even seeing his target?
[02:27] Draluc
    He made his power stronger.
[02:30] Draluc
    It's likely that the whole town
    is under the influence of Charm--
[02:32] Maremi
    That's exactly right.
[02:36] Ronaldo
    Why are you eating meat?!
[02:38] Maremi
    I can resist Charm,
[02:40] Maremi
    but since it takes a lot of mental energy,
    I must continuously eat yakiniku.
[02:45] Ronaldo
    Continuously?!
[02:46] Maremi
    I cannot move, but I brought some help.
[02:50] Yakyuken Lover
    It's a request from the empress.
    I'll do my best!
[02:53] Nudenium
    We must also save Passionate, our compatriot!
[02:56] Odd Creature
    I came to smell the girls.
[02:58] Ronaldo
    Thanks, now go home.
[03:00] Draluc
    No, we can use them.
[03:02] Ronaldo
    For what?! A parade of perverts?!
[03:04] Draluc
    To defeat that guy!
[03:06] Draluc
    I, Draluc, will do anything
    to make him eat his words.
[03:11] Draluc
    That's right. Anything.
[03:15] Northdin
    We vampires don't have much to do
    with the kingdom up in the heavens,
[03:20] Northdin
    but even so, I can tell.
[03:22] Northdin
    That you are a flower plucked from
    the garden in that place, beautiful.
[03:29] Hinaichi
    Thanks, Northdin.
[03:31] Northdin
    Oh, my, you're a bit restless.
    You all have strong wills, don't you?
[03:37] Northdin
    I have to recast Charm, or you won't be stable.
[03:40] Northdin
    Especially you.
[03:43] Northdin
    But restlessness is fun, too.
[03:48] Northdin
    I need to show my love to the new
    angels who have arrived, too!
[03:52] Northdin
    Now, come here!
[03:54] Draluc
    The angels have arrived!
[03:57] Northdin
    What?!
[03:59] Northdin
    I told them not to let any men through.
[04:01] Ronaldo
    Since we were dressed like this,
    the girls let us in!
[04:04] Draluc
    What you said about how you'd go
    for any woman has backfired!
[04:09] Ronaldo
    Come quietly or else, long nosehair man!
[04:12] Shot
    In the name of the moon, Full Moon Style--!
[04:16] Northdin
    Youngster who knows no fear,
    you are like a beautiful buck.
[04:23] Satetsu/Ronaldo
    Shot!
[04:24] Northdin
    I can use it on men, too.
    I just don't want to.
[04:29] Northdin
    Little buck, now you will go up against--
[04:34] Darluc
    Hypnosis and Charm are delicate.
    Right, Mister Northdin?
[04:39] Draluc
    It won't work, for example--
[04:43] Shot
    If I'm already hypnotized!
[04:45] Micro Bikini
    Under the influence of someone else!
[04:47] Medoki
    Do you get it?
[04:48] Shoka
    We all crossdressed and have bikinis on.
[04:50] Satetsu
    Well, bikinis are also crossdressing...
[04:52] Ronaldo
    Your sweet words won't have any effect on us!
[04:56] Draluc
    No one will wait on you, Northdin!
[04:59] Northdin
    You've got to be kidding me, apprentice.
    That sight is enough to make me sick.
[05:03] Draluc
    Be quiet. I'll do anything to defeat you!
[05:06] Micro Bikini
    I'll free the women with my bikinis, too!
[05:10] Micro Bikini
    Now, into my bikini...
[05:14] Ronaldo
    Bikini!
[05:16] Northdin
    Of course. By the same logic, that two-bit
    hypnosis won't work on my angels.
[05:23] Northdin
    It just makes me happy.
[05:27] Northdin
    Oh, brave girls who would
    fight lions to protect me...
[05:32] Northdin
    Surely you wouldn't hurt them,
    would you, hunter gentlemen?
[05:37] Ronaldo
    Stop, Maria!
[05:39] Shot
    Damn it...
[05:43] Nudenium
    Take my seed.
    Return to your senses with this.
[05:46] Shot/Ronaldo
    Don't make her take that!
[05:48] Ta Chan
    What in the world have I...?
[05:50] Shot/Ronaldo
    No way...!
[05:51] Shot
    Shock therapy?! Is it really a cure-all?!
[05:54] Roanldo
    Anyway, it worked! If they take those,
    that guy's Charm will be broken!
[05:58] Satetsu
    Is it safe, though?!
[06:01] Draluc
    Game over, North.
[06:04] Draluc
    I win.
[06:05] Ronaldo
    This isn't really the time to be triumphant!
[06:11] Northdin
    Let's decide whether you win
    or not by fighting directly.
[06:17] Draluc
    D-Don't underestimate me, Northdin!
[06:21] Draluc
    I told you! If it's to defeat you,
    I'll do anything!
[06:27] Northdin
    What?!
[06:29] Northdin
    I can't believe you would do all
    that just to escape my Charm...
[06:33] Northdin
    Draluc, with this,
[06:37] Northdin
    you're a weak man whose defenses
    have gone down after getting naked.
[06:43] Draluc
    Wait, I'm a pacifist!
[06:44] Draluc
    This is cowardly! Let's decide
    this with rock-paper-scissors--
[06:54] Hinaichi
    Wee!
[06:56] Hinaichi
    Vampire!
[06:59] Hinaichi
    You're the one seducing women and
    sucking their blood, aren't you?!
[07:03] Hinaichi
    With a sudden kiss, acting like Draluc--
[07:06] Hinaichi
    Come quietly to the station!
[07:09] Hinaichi
    Huh? Why am I at the guild?
[07:14] Woman
    Huh?
[07:14] Woman
    Where am I?
[07:15] Passionate Kiss
    Handsome...
[07:17] Maria
    What was I...?
[07:23] Master
    I won't let you do that.
[07:24] Senya
    It's time for your long-awaited costume change!
[07:28] Northdin
    Let go, you--
[07:30] Senya
    Stop, stay still.
[07:31] Draluc
    Go! Over there! Give him a high-leg!
[07:35] Senya
    Oh, my!
[07:38] Draluc
    Wait!
[07:40] Northdin
    It looks like it is time for me to leave you.
[07:43] Northdin
    It was fun, Draluc.
[07:46] Draluc
    Shut up, mustache! Get down here!
    Show me what's under that cape!
[07:50] Northdin
    You've really...
[07:53] Northdin
    You've really gotten stronger, Draluc.
[07:58] Northdin
    Get along with the people in your town.
[08:04] Draluc
    Anyway! We won, everyone!
[08:09] Ronaldo
    Is this... winning?
[08:14] Northdin
    How am I supposed to take these clothes off?!
[08:18] Lottery Staff (Miki)
    Congratulations!
[08:18] Sign
    "Fun Stupid Guys in Shin-Yokohama Special ver."
[08:20] Draluc
    Tickets for two for an overnight
    stay at a hot springs!
[08:23] Draluc
    Let's go right away,
    one adult and one armadillo!
[08:27] Sagyo
    Speaking of which, where are
    we going for our company trip?
[08:30] Moegi/Handa
    --Hokkaido.
    --Hawaii.
[08:31] Hiyoshi
    Somewhere close! Close!
[08:33] Moegi
    So, somewhere in the prefecture?
[08:33] Sign
    "Kanagawa Prefectural Police
    Vampire Control Division
    Moegi"
[08:35] Kantaro
    I'd like to invite Tsujita, too!
[08:37] Ruri
    This is still a company outing, you know.
[08:37] Sign
    "Kanagawa Prefectural Police
    Vampire Control Division
    Ruri"
[08:39] Ruri
    Captain, we received this flyer--
[08:42] Hiyoshi
    Oh? Hundred Peace Hot Springs?
[08:45] Sign
    "Hundred Peace Hot Springs"
    "Relax in our natural hot springs"
    "Groups welcome!" "Current special plans: Hunter Discount/Vampire Discount"
[08:46] Master
    A new pace of interest in Shin-Yoko?
[08:48] Maria
    It's all-you-can-drink!
[08:50] Ta Chan
    It's a good deal with the hunter discount, huh?
[08:52] Ronaldo
    It's nice to go to hot springs once in a while!
[08:54] Ronaldo
    All right, let's have a guild
    appreciation party!
[08:59] Sign
    "Hundred Peace Hot Springs"
[09:02] Sign
    "Luck"
[09:04] Hot Springs Guy
    Fools.
[09:06] Sign
    "Vampire - Hot Springs Guy"
[09:06] Hot Springs Guy
    The hunters are walking right into my trap!
[09:12] Hot Springs Guy
    My telekinesis is super limited
    and only works on hot springs...
[09:16] Hot Springs Guy
    But I'll use this to defeat the hunters.
[09:19] Hot Springs Guy
    I've worked hard to rule over Shin-Yokohama!
[09:22] Sign
    "Hundred Peace Hot Springs"
[09:24] Hot Springs Guy
    I'll turn them all into mineral deposits!
[09:28] Hot Springs Guy
    The only thing that I hadn't expected...
[09:32] Hot Springs Guy
    ...was that so many people
    would come at the same time!
[09:36] Ronaldo
    Why the hell are you here?!
[09:38] Draluc
    What about you? You're putting a damper
    on me and John's fun trip!
[09:42] Shot
    I can't believe we're here at
    the same time as Vamp Control.
[09:45] Sagyo
    I still feel like I'm at work.
[09:49] Hot Springs Guy
    W-Well, this is a round-up to some extent,
    but I didn't think they'd all come at once!
[09:55] Hot Springs Guy
    But if I miss this chance, these busy modern
    people might not be back for another ten years.
[10:00] Hot Springs Guy
    What should I do...?
    They've got a dhampir, too,
[10:03] Hot Springs Guy
    and if he notices me and they
    surround me, it'll be over, damn it...
[10:06] Nudenium
    Excuse me, can you tell me
    where the main bath is?
[10:10] Hot Springs Guy
    Oh, yes! Go to the hallway over there--
[10:13] Hot Springs Guy
    Don't take off your clothes here!
[10:14] Hot Springs Guy
    Oh, excuse me. Please take off
    your clothes in the changing room.
[10:19] Nudenium
    Oh, I'm usually nude, so...
[10:22] Hot Springs Guy
    That's even worse! How did
    they even let you check in?!
[10:25] Odd Creature
    Um, excuse me!
[10:27] Hot Springs Guy
    Yes?
[10:28] Odd Creature's Father
    I'd like to have a sexy companion
    brought to my room.
[10:28] Sign
    "Vampires - Odd Creature Family
    Father - Huge Creature
    Mother - Infatuated Creature"
[10:31] Odd Creature's Mother
    Please add a handsome pole dancer, too.
[10:33] Hot Springs Guy
    We don't provide that kind of service!
[10:35] Hot Springs Guy
    Don't ask for people like that
    for a family trip, anyway!
[10:38] Yakyuken Lover
    Hey, Miss! Let's play yakyuken!
[10:41] Micro Bikini
    Stop that, idiot brother! You're a disgrace!
[10:43] Transparent Lower Body
    You'll be banned right after
    check-in, scum brother!
[10:45] Ronaldo
    Why are the perverted vampires here, damn it?!
[10:48] Yakyuken Lover
    Where else would you find
    a yakyuken lover, idiot?!
[10:52] Odd Creature
    I came to watch the sexy pay-per-view!
[10:54] Ronaldo
    Go home!
[10:56] Hot Springs Guy
    E-Even my own kind...
[10:59] Kantaro
    Oh, this place is packed!
[11:01] Transparent Lower Body
    It's the hot springs everyone
    in Shin-Yoko's talking about!
[11:04] Hinaichi
    What's wrong, Handa?
[11:05] Sagyo
    It looks like the flehmen response.
[11:07] Moegi
    It's because there are a lot of vampires here.
[11:10] Hiyoshi
    Are you okay, Handa?
[11:13] Hot Springs Guy
    Maybe this is my chance.
[11:15] Hot Springs Guy
    I'll blend in with the other vampires
    so the dhampir doesn't notice me!
[11:18] Hot Springs Guy
    I'm actually lucky that a bunch
    of weird guys showed up!
[11:22] Waitress
    Springs, please bring food
    to the Hanamizuki room!
[11:26] Hot Springs Guy
    Okay!
[11:28] Hot Springs Guy
    I've brought your meal.
[11:31] Hot Springs Guy
    Please excuse me.
[11:32] Fukuma
    Thank you very much.
[11:34] Go
    Oh, the food's here! Where's Sanzu?
[11:37] Fukuma
    She's gone to the baths.
[11:39] Fukuma
    Please share this with the staff if you'd like.
[11:41] Sign
    "A small gift
    Autumn Special"
[11:42] Hot Springs Guy
    Help me...
[11:46] Ronaldo
    Shall we pull ourselves together
    and go take a bath?
[11:48] Medoki
    I hope the outdoor bath is roomy.
[11:51] Shoka
    I'm sleepy.
[11:52] Hot Springs Guy
    All right! This is my chance!
[11:55] Hot Springs Guy
    They're not on guard against me
    since I'm a staff member.
[11:58] Hot Springs Guy
    While they're defenseless,
    I'll attack them with the hot springs!
[12:02] Satetsu
    I'm looking forward to dinner.
[12:05] Hot Springs Guy
    Can you please take that off before you go in?
[12:05] Sign
    "Main Bath"
[12:07] Satetsu
    Huh?
[12:08] Satetsu
    I-I'm sorry, I'm just used to it...
[12:10] Hot Springs Guy
    You always go in with it on?! Won't it rust?!
[12:13] Etiquette Breacher
    Big Bro Satetsu's breaking the rules!
[12:15] Hot Springs Guy
    Hey! No filming in here! Stop!
[12:17] Hot Springs Guy
    And what are you wearing?!
    Take that off before you go in!
[12:20] Micro Bikini
    Wh-What are you saying? You pervert!
[12:22] Hot Springs Guy
    You're the pervert!
[12:26] Hiyoshi
    Jeez, no matter when it is or where we are,
    those guys are always so noisy.
[12:30] Master
    It's fine to let loose for an appreciation trip.
[12:33] Master
    We were even crazier when
    we were young, remember?
[12:37] Hiyoshi
    You were the only crazy one.
[12:40] Senya
    Well, a quiet night chatting
    with other adults like this...
[12:46] Senya
    ...is nice sometimes, too.
[12:52] Maria
    It's nice to go to a hot springs with everyone!
[12:55] Hinaichi
    I'm sorry we ended up crashing
    the hunters' appreciation trip.
[12:58] Ta Chan
    Don't worry about it. Just relax.
[13:03] Hot Springs Guy
    I'll try again here.
[13:06] Hot Springs Guy
    It's probably better to start
    with the frail girls, anyway.
[13:09] Hot Springs Guy
    There are definitely no
    perverted reasons for this.
[13:12] Hot Springs Guy
    Now, take this, hunters!
[13:15] Hot Springs Guy
    Telekinesis: Manipulating Hot Springs!
[13:18] Maremi
    Please excuse the intrusion.
[13:22] Maria
    Who's there?!
[13:24] Ta Chan
    The water moved! An enemy vampire?!
[13:26] Hot Springs Guy
    C-Crap!
[13:29] Hot Springs Guy
    I'll retreat for now!
[13:30] Maria
    Wait, you bastard! I won't let you get away!
[13:35] Handa
    You should feel the sharp pain of
    getting water up your nose, Ronaldo!
[13:38] Ronaldo
    Stop that!
[13:40] Draluc
    His pranks tonight are pretty standard.
[13:43] Draluc
    I thought he'd sprinkle celery
    bath salts or something.
[13:46] Handa
    Idiot! That would cause trouble
    for the other guests!
[13:51] Draluc
    You really are an upstanding citizen
    as long as Ronaldo isn't involved, huh?
[13:56] Maria
    Stop, bastard! You won't get away!
[14:00] Maria
    Did a vampire come this way?
[14:02] Ta Chan
    Where's he hiding?!
[14:06] Ronaldo
    Wh-What are you doing?!
[14:07] Shot
    This is the men's bath!
[14:09] Maria
    This is no time to be saying that!
[14:11] Ronaldo
    I think it isthe time to be saying
    that to some extent!
[14:15] Yakyuken Lover**
    Hey, girls! Let's play yakyuken!
[14:18] Yakyuken Lover
    Yoyoinoyoi!
[14:21] Shot
    He was peeping in the women's bath?
[14:23] Ta Chan
    Not just a pervert! He controlled water!
[14:26] Hinaichi
    Yeah, he tried to attack us.
[14:29] Ronaldo
    We need to find that vampire
    before anyone gets hurt.
[14:35] Ronaldo
    Let's split up and look for him.
[14:38] Shoka
    There's something there.
[14:42] Ronaldo
    What the hell are you doing?!
[14:44] Passionate Kiss
    Blending in with the things that spout water
    to peep at handsome men. It's a perfect plan!
[14:50] Passionate Kiss
    Forgive me because I'm beautiful!
[14:51] Hinaichi
    Peeping is a crime even if you're beautiful.
[14:53] Shot
    What the hell were you spitting?!
[14:55] Passionate Kiss
    The water I sucked up from my lower mouth.
[14:57] Ronaldo
    Gross!
[14:58] Hot Springs Guy
    I-I don't know what's going on,
    but I'll retreat now, while I can.
[15:03] Micro Bikini
    Hey, foolish brother...
[15:04] Transparent Lower Body
    What were you doing?
[15:05] Yakyuken Lover
    I still need to train more...
[15:08] Odd Creature's Father
    A miracle... A girl's come in
    from the women's bath...
[15:12] Odd Creature
    It sounds like the title of a porn video...
[15:17] Sanzu
    I don't know why, but I feel like
    I'm missing a really juicy scene...
[15:23] Hot Springs Guy
    At this rate, this'll just end with
    them all having a fun little trip!
[15:30] Hot Springs Guy
    Since it's come to this,
    I'll have to use my last resort!
[15:32] Hot Springs Guy
    I'll bring water into the banquet hall here
    and get them all at once!
[15:38] Hot Springs Guy
    Consider tonight your last party, hunters!
[15:44] Ronaldo
    We were called to the banquet hall,
    but do you know why?
[15:48] Draluc
    I thought our meals would be
    brought to our rooms...
[15:50] Satetsu
    Maybe we're being reprimanded
    for the commotion earlier.
[15:55] Ronaldo
    Hm? Vamp Control's here, too?
[15:58] Handa
    You, too, Ronaldo?
[16:02] Hot Springs Guy
    You all gathered here unconcernedly
    without noticing anything, huh?
[16:06] Hot Springs Guy
    Now! You should all prepare yourselves!
[16:10] Hot Springs Guy
    I brought you all here for this!
[16:22] Hot Springs Guy
    Wait a minute!
[16:26] Fukuma
    The water started moving all of a sudden,
[16:28] Fukuma
    so I stopped it with the
    Autumn-Style Qigong Technique.
[16:31] Go
    Thank you!
[16:35] Sagyo
    Oh, he's back.
[16:36] Ronaldo
    Um, why did you gather us all here?
[16:40] Hot Springs Guy
    Um... uh, well...
    I gathered you all... um...
[16:48] Hot Springs Guy
    To take a picture!
[16:52] Draluc
    Cheese!
[16:57] Ronaldo
    Jeez, thanks to that guy, it was like
    we were in Lewd Talk's hell picture scroll...
[17:03] Ronaldo
    But, John, it was amazing that you got
    this kotatsu table during bingo. Good job!
[17:09] Draluc
    Speaking of which, what was that song again?
[17:12] Draluc
    The one that goes
    "I open the creaky door gently"...
[17:16] Roanldo
    Huh?
[17:17] Draluc
    You know, the one Kiss sang so
    passionately at the hot springs.
[17:21] Draluc
    "I open the creaky door gently"...
[17:24] Roanldo
    That's different from what
    you sang earlier. I'll kill you.
[17:26] Ronaldo
    John, how many points is that?
[17:27] John
    Nu-points.
[17:28] Draluc
    John! My John!
[17:31] Draluc
    Oh! John! Is that in binary?!
[17:33] Ronaldo
    There's no two in binary.
[17:35] Sign
    "First drink free"
[17:38] Draluc
    Let's play "Think of the name
    of a crappy movie."
[17:41] Ronaldo
    If you come up with something lame,
    then I'll make soba from your ashes.
[17:45] Draluc
    The point is to come up with something lame.
    Why are you so mean today?
[17:50] Draluc
    Lad•der Lot•te•ry: After-School Death Game.
[17:53] Ronaldo
    All those dots in the middle are annoying.
[17:55] Ronaldo
    Horseshoe Crab vs. Mecha Horseshoe Crab.
[17:58] Draluc
    You think you can just do some weak "vs." title?
[18:01] Draluc
    Your knowledge of crappy movies
    is not good enough.
[18:04] Roanldo
    That's knowledge I'll never need. I'll kill you.
[18:07] Sign
    "A Little Love in the Alleys of New York"
[18:10] Ronaldo
    Oh, it's one where the Japanese title
    is completely different from the original.
[18:13] Draluc
    It's pointlessly 2 hours and 10 minutes long.
[18:16] Ronaldo
    One of those where a smiling couple
    comes out without talking.
[18:20] Draluc
    Yoga Soccer.
[18:21] Ronaldo
    We're still doing this?
    There's probably a bunch of cheap CG.
[18:25] Ronaldo
    K... Killer of Mini Tomatoes.
[18:27] Draluc
    Wrong. "Killer of" something
    is against the rules.
[18:30] Ronaldo
    How was I supposed to know?
    Don't make up randomly strict rules!
[18:34] Sign
    "Stand-Up People: Actions for Tomorrow"
[18:38] Ronaldo
    I can't tell what that's about at all
    from the title. That's good.
[18:41] Draluc
    You can tell it went through the wringer
    in Marketing or something.
[18:45] Draluc
    Around the World in a Time Machine.
[18:47] Ronaldo
    Yikes. So boring.
[18:48] John
    Nu-rappy.
[18:50] Ronaldo
    Ninjas vs. Amazons: Explosion in Asakusa.
[18:55] Draluc
    I kind of want to see that. I lose.
[18:56] Ronaldo
    Huh? What? A-Are you sad? Huh?
[19:05] Ronaldo
    I'm going to eat this Setsubun sushi roll.
[19:06] Draluc
    Okay, John.
[19:07] Draluc
    Let's make him laugh when his mouth is full
    and make something terrible happen.
[19:12] Draluc
    Sand...
[19:13] Ronaldo
    What direction am I
    supposed to eat in this year?
[19:15] Draluc
    West-southwest. That way.
[19:17] Ronaldo
    If you make me laugh, I'll kill you.
[19:24] Ronaldo
    All right, I finished eating it!
[19:25] Draluc
    Just kidding! West-southwest is that way!
[19:30] Draluc
    Sand...!
[19:33] Draluc
    Sand!
[19:38] Draluc
    Would you like to play "Rich Girls"?
[19:40] Ronaldo
    Oh, my, what kind of game is that?
[19:41] Draluc
    Oh, dear, you do understand quickly.
[19:44] Draluc
    Whoever cannot keep this up loses, darling.
[19:48] Ronaldo
    What a foolish contest.
    My rich girl ability is around 30,000.
[19:53] Draluc
    I think I can handle that number, darling.
[19:56] Draluc
    For a game like this,
    you must start heckling early.
[19:59] Draluc
    Miss Ronalina, your socks smell foul.
[20:02] Ronaldo
    Shut up. I'll bite you to death, scum darling.
[20:04] Draluc
    Your boiling point seems low?
[20:06] Draluc
    Mr. John, the score, if you please.
[20:09] Ronaldo
    Oh, dear, I have no way out now!
[20:12] Ronaldo
    I'll use these hand gestures
    to recover my rich girl ability.
[20:15] Draluc
    I'm not sure I understand what
    "rich girl" means to you.
[20:19] Sign
    "Ronaldo"
[20:20] Draluc
    Hand gestures are okay?!
[20:22] Sign
    "Draluc"
[20:23] Draluc
    Oh, shoot! I lost a lot of points!
[20:26] Draluc
    But I don't know how many points I started with,
    so I cannot tell if that's a lot or not.
[20:30] Ronaldo
    Making a fuss over there
    like that will be your downfall.
[20:34] Draluc
    You seem to have turned into
    the shaman queen, Himiko.
[20:38] Deliveryman
    Delivery from Amanun.
[20:40] Draluc
    I won't lose!
[20:42] Draluc
    I'll show you that I can receive
    an Amanun delivery like this, darling!
[20:45] Ronaldo
    That's nothing, darling.
    I'll order a pizza like this.
[20:49] Ronaldo
    Hello, I'd like two larges with extra-extra
    meat and cheese please, darling!
[20:54] Draluc
    Good work! I'll stamp here now, dear.
[20:57] Deliveryman
    Thanks.
[20:58] Ronaldo
    Will you please also embed some
    cheese into the crust, please?
[21:01] Pizza Guy (Miki)
    Sure, thanks.
[21:03] Draluc
    It hurts the most when they ignore it...
[21:06] Ronaldo
    Let's say I win this one.
[21:08] Draluc
    At least make it a draw!
[21:13] Sign
    "Boring Telepath 1000"
[21:13] Ronaldo
    John, you can say "nuo," right?
[21:16] John
    Nuo!
[21:18] Ronaldo
    John, you can say "nusha nusha," right?
[21:21] John
    Nusha nusha.
[21:22] Ronaldo
    John, you can say "nuri," right?
[21:25] John
    Nuri.
[21:27] Ronaldo
    John, don't you think you can say "fanny"?
[21:34] John
    Fanny.
[22:02] Ronaldo
    I'm gonna fart.
[22:08] Draluc
    Sand!