E3 - A Mountain of Problems

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Fuutarou
    What the hell is this?
[00:04] Fuutarou
    Work, damn sensors!
[00:06] Fuutarou
    Shit, as if those sisters weren't bad enough,
[00:09] Fuutarou
    now you're getting in my way, too?
[00:12] Fuutarou
    Hey.
[00:14] Fuutarou
    I'm tutoring for the Nakanos on Floor 30.
[00:17] Fuutarou
    My name is Uesugi.
[00:19] Fuutarou
    The door here
[00:20] Fuutarou
    is broken.
[00:23] Fuutarou
    Hey.
[00:23] Miku
    What are you doing out here by yourself?
[00:26] Fuutarou
    Miku.
[00:27] Miku
    How haven't you heard of auto locks?
    They're everywhere nowadays.
[00:31] Miku
    You can punch in our apartment
    number on this keypad.
[00:35] Miku
    It'll call us.
[00:38] Fuutarou
    O-Of course I knew that.
[00:42] Fuutarou
    I messed up right off the bat.
[00:44] Fuutarou
    Not off to a good start.
[00:46] Fuutarou
    But...
[00:47] Miku
    What are you doing?
[00:49] Fuutarou
    Huh?
[00:50] Fuutarou
    O-Oh.
[00:53] Miku
    You're going to tutor us, aren't you?
SIGN    The Quintessential Quintuplets
SIGN    The Quintessential Quintuplets
SIGN    The Quintessential Quintuplets
SIGN    The Quintessential Quintuplets
[02:32] Itsuki
    So you had to come.
[02:36] Yotsuba
    Welcome, Uesugi-san!
[02:39] Fuutarou
    Hey.
[02:46] Ichika
    Uh...
[02:48] Ichika
    It should be around here somewhere.
[02:50] Yotsuba
    The white one, right?
[02:52] Ichika
    Sorry.
[02:54] Fuutarou
    Why are you in bed past noon?
[02:59] Yotsuba
    This is yours, Ichika?
[03:01] Yotsuba
    S-So grown-up.
[03:04] Ichika
    We have the same face.
[03:05] Ichika
    You'd probably look good in it, too.
[03:08] Ichika
    You should throw out the underwear
    you've had since elementary school.
[03:15] Yotsuba
    U-Uesugi-san's here!
[03:16] Yotsuba
    Shh!
[03:22] Yotsuba
    So...
[03:23] Yotsuba
    What do you think, Uesugi-san?
[03:26] Yotsuba
    Do you think I'd...
[03:28] Fuutarou
    I don't care. Just get changed.
[03:31] Fuutarou
    I don't need your opinion, anyway!
    I bet you know nothing about fashion!
[03:35] Fuutarou
    Okay, we're all set.
[03:38] Fuutarou
    Let's start studying.
[03:41] Ichika
    I think I'll watch.
[03:45] Miku
    Teach us Japanese history
    like you said you would.
[03:49] Itsuki
    I'm just going to be studying on
    my own here, so don't mind me.
[03:53] Fuutarou
    There are plenty of problems,
[03:54] ---
    but compared to the beginning,
    this is huge progress.
[03:57] ---
    Hey! Wait!
[03:59] Fuutarou
    They're human, too.
[04:01] Fuutarou
    Be nice to them, and we can
    reach an understanding.
[04:05] Fuutarou
    Okay, let's get started.
[04:08] Nino
    You're still here?
[04:10] Nino
    Still haven't given up on tutoring, huh?
[04:13] Nino
    I hope you don't fall asleep
    like you did last time.
[04:17] Fuutarou
    That was because you drugged me.
[04:21] Fuutarou
    Oh, shoot. Be nice.
[04:23] Fuutarou
    Gotta be nice.
[04:25] Fuutarou
    How about it?
[04:26] Fuutarou
    Would you like to join us, Nino?
[04:28] Nino
    Over my dead body.
[04:31] Fuutarou
    Guess I'll have to be content
    with four for now.
[04:35] Fuutarou
    All right. Let's go without her for today.
[04:37] Yotsuba
    Okay.
[04:38] Nino
    Oh yeah, Yotsuba,
[04:40] ---
    my acquaintance on the basketball team is
    looking for someone to fill in for a game.
[04:45] Nino
    You're pretty athletic.
    Why don't you go right now?
[04:49] Yotsuba
    R-Right now?
[04:51] Yotsuba
    Um...
[04:52] Yotsuba
    But...
[04:52] Nino
    Apparently, they only have five members,
    and one of them broke a bone.
[04:57] Nino
    They won't be able to play
    if they don't find someone.
[04:59] Nino
    I feel so bad for them.
[05:03] Fuutarou
    You wouldn't, would you?
[05:05] Nino
    They must have practiced so hard.
[05:07] Nino
    Poor team.
[05:10] Fuutarou
    Yotsuba?
[05:11] Yotsuba
    I'm sorry, Uesugi-san.
[05:12] Yotsuba
    I can't just abandon people in need!
[05:15] Fuutarou
    You're kidding me.
[05:17] Nino
    That girl doesn't know how to say no.
[05:20] Nino
    Didn't you say you had work at two, Ichika?
[05:23] Ichika
    Shoot, I forgot!
[05:28] Nino
    You too, Itsuki.
[05:29] Nino
    You should go to a quieter place,
    like the library or something.
[05:33] Itsuki
    That's a good idea.
[05:39] Fuutarou
    All right! Gather 'round, everyone!
[05:41] Fuutarou
    Let's start studying.
[05:43] Miku
    Face reality, Futaro.
    Everyone's gone already.
[05:49] Fuutarou
    Damn that Nino, always getting in my way...
[05:52] Fuutarou
    What's she trying to pull?
[05:55] Nino
    Huh?
[05:56] Nino
    You're still here, Miku?
[06:00] Nino
    You owe me a drink from when
    you accidentally drank mine.
[06:04] Miku
    I already bought it.
[06:06] Miku
    Okay, let's start the lesson.
[06:08] Fuutarou
    All right, let's switch gears.
SIGN    Matcha Soda
[06:11] Nino
    Matcha Soda?
[06:13] Nino
    Hey, Miku!
[06:16] Miku
    Where do we start?
[06:17] Fuutarou
    Why don't we start with
    the Kamakura period, then?
[06:21] Nino
    Since when have you two been so close?
[06:26] Nino
    So you have a thing for
    dull-looking guys, huh?
[06:30] Fuutarou
    That was savage! Take it back!
[06:32] Miku
    You're too hung up on looks, Nino.
[06:34] Fuutarou
    That was low-key savage, too!
[06:36] Nino
    What?
[06:37] Nino
    What's wrong with going
    for good-looking guys?
[06:39] Nino
    Are you telling me
    it's all about inner beauty?
[06:42] Miku
    What if I am?
[06:44] Nino
    I see.
[06:46] Nino
    It's because you don't care about appearances
    that you can go out dressed so shabbily.
[06:50] Miku
    And those pointy nails are
    supposed to be fashionable?
[06:53] Nino
    You wouldn't get it, would you?
[06:56] Miku
    I don't even want to.
[06:58] Fuutarou
    C-Come on, you two.
[06:59] Fuutarou
    You're sisters. Play nice.
[07:01] Fuutarou
    Do we really need to argue over
    inner or outer beauty right now?
[07:05] Miku
    I guess not.
[07:06] Miku
    Just stop being a nuisance.
[07:08] Nino
    A nuisance?!
SIGN    Guuurgle
[07:13] Nino
    Fine, then. Why don't we compete
    on "inner beauty," as you say?
[07:18] Nino
    Let's have a cooking battle
    to see who's more homely.
[07:21] Fuutarou
    Wh-Why?
[07:23] Nino
    If I win, no studying today.
[07:26] Fuutarou
    Y-You're not going to accept, right?
[07:29] Miku
    I'll end this quickly.
    Just sit and wait, Futaro.
[07:33] Fuutarou
    You sit down!
[07:41] Fuutarou
    Why is absolutely nothing going my way?
[07:44] Nino
    Ta-da!
[07:45] Nino
    A dutch baby with seasonal veggies and ham.
SIGN    Omurice
[07:48] Miku
    O-Omurice.
[07:52] Nino
    Well, it's up to you to
    judge which one's better.
[07:57] Miku
    Actually, never mind. I'll eat it myself.
[08:00] Nino
    You made it, so you might
    as well have him eat it.
[08:04] Fuutarou
    Thank you.
[08:32] ---
    Okay, yeah.
[08:34] Fuutarou
    Both are pretty good.
[08:37] Fuutarou
    It's true.
SIGN    Not a Gourmet
SIGN    Too Poor
[08:40] Fuutarou
    They're both good.
[08:42] Nino
    What?!
[08:42] Nino
    No way.
[08:51] Nino
    What the heck?
[08:52] Nino
    Lame.
[08:55] Fuutarou
    Jeez, that girl...
[09:01] Fuutarou
    It's gotten so late.
[09:03] Fuutarou
    We fell right into Nino's trap.
[09:07] Fuutarou
    I'll have to try again another time.
[09:09] Miku
    Sorry.
[09:10] Fuutarou
    But now it's all clear.
[09:13] Fuutarou
    I don't know why,
    but Nino especially hates me.
[09:18] Fuutarou
    I don't feel like I'll ever get to be
    on good terms with her.
[09:24] Miku
    You're wrong...
[09:26] Miku
    I think.
[09:29] Fuutarou
    Huh?
[09:32] Fuutarou
    Miku?
[09:33] Miku
    If you face her in good faith,
    she'll come around.
[09:37] Fuutarou
    In good faith?
[09:39] Fuutarou
    What am I supposed to do?
[09:41] Miku
    Don't ask me.
[09:45] Miku
    It's your job to figure that out.
[09:55] Fuutarou
    Face her in good faith...
[09:56] Fuutarou
    Good faith...
[10:00] Fuutarou
    Shoot.
[10:05] Fuutarou
    Uh...
[10:08] Miku
    What?
[10:09] Fuutarou
    Sorry, I forgot my flash cards.
[10:12] Miku
    I'm taking a shower.
    Feel free to come in and grab them.
[10:14] Fuutarou
    Wait, Miku, you're okay with that?
[10:28] Fuutarou
    P-Pardon me.
[10:44] Fuutarou
    M-Miku?!
[10:46] Fuutarou
    You're already out of the shower?!
[10:57] Fuutarou
    Come to think of it,
    she's not one to care about these things.
[11:01] Fuutarou
    I'll just grab my cards and leave.
[11:04] Nino
    Who's there?
[11:05] Nino
    Miku?
[11:09] Nino
    I thought you were going to take a bath.
[11:12] Nino
    It's free now.
[11:13] Fuutarou
    Nino!
[11:15] Nino
    My contacts are on the usual shelf.
    Could you get them for me?
[11:19] Fuutarou
    Her eyesight is so bad that she can't see me?
[11:22] Fuutarou
    Sh-Shit...
[11:23] Fuutarou
    What should I do, then?
[11:24] Fuutarou
    Good faith? If she finds out I'm here,
    there'll be no faith left!
SIGN    No Faith
[11:28] Fuutarou
    What do I do?
[11:29] Nino
    What?
[11:31] Nino
    Are you still mad about me
    messing with you at lunch?
[11:35] Fuutarou
    Sh-Shit!
[11:36] Fuutarou
    C-Contacts...
[11:37] Fuutarou
    Where are they?
[11:39] Fuutarou
    Here?
[11:41] Nino
    I just got carried away.
[11:45] Nino
    I feel bad about it, okay?
[11:49] Fuutarou
    Damn it, where are they?
[11:51] Nino
    What are you doing?
    That's not where they are.
[11:55] Nino
    They're on the shelf above.
[12:00] Nino
    Huh?
[12:01] Nino
    I though they were on this shelf.
[12:08] Fuutarou
    I can't face her now!
[12:11] Fuutarou
    I can't take any more!
[12:13] Fuutarou
    Run for it!
[12:15] Nino
    So you are mad.
[12:17] Nino
    It's his fault.
[12:19] Nino
    It's all his fault.
[12:20] Nino
    He keeps coming into our home
    just because Dad ordered it.
[12:25] Nino
    This home is for us five.
    There's no place for him here.
[12:33] Fuutarou
    Is she...
[12:36] Nino
    That's it!
[12:38] Nino
    From now on, he's banned from our place!
[12:46] Fuutarou
    Look out!
[12:47] Fuutarou
    Above you!
[12:57] Fuutarou
    At that point, I still didn't know...
[13:05] Nino
    Wh-Who's there?
[13:15] Ichika
    Thank you.
[13:18] Guy
    You were great as always today, Ichika-chan.
[13:21] Guy
    See you next time.
[13:23] Ichika
    Sure.
[13:25] Fuutarou
    I didn't know how hard it would be to
    face these five idiots one at a time.
[13:31] Girl
    Thanks so much.
[13:33] Girl
    You're so good, Nakano-san.
    We're lucky to have you.
[13:35] Girl
    Let's kill it next time, too.
[13:38] Girl B
    Hey, I want to ask you something...
[13:41] Girl C
    Would you be up for officially
    joining the basketball team?
[13:46] Fuutarou
    And I'd be taught a lesson, too.
[13:51] Miku
    It's because of what she said.
[13:54] (Flashback) Nino
    So you have a thing for
    dull-looking guys, huh?
[14:01] Miku
    It's not even true.
[14:04] Fuutarou
    That I'm a complete idiot, too.
[14:08] Nino
    I-Intruder!
[14:10] Fuutarou
    N-No!
[14:12] Fuutarou
    I just came to take something.
[14:14] Nino
    Take what?
[14:15] Nino
    Nudes of me?
[14:17] Nino
    You pervert!
[14:19] Nino
    Molester!
[14:20] Nino
    Voyeur!
[14:20] Fuutarou
    That's not what I meant!
[14:29] Itsuki
    You're the worst.
[14:34] Ichika
    Order in the court.
[14:36] Itsuki
    Your Honor, please have a look at this.
[14:39] Itsuki
    The defendant, a tutor,
[14:43] ---
    lost control of his urges in front
    of a young high school girl.
[14:48] Itsuki
    Defendant Uesugi...
    This is you in this photo, is it not?
[14:53] Fuutarou
    I-It's a false charge.
SIGN    Absent due
    to basketball
    team duties
[14:57] Nino
    Your Honor...
[14:58] Ichika
    Yes, Plaintiff Nino-kun.
[15:01] Nino
    This guy pretended to leave the apartment
[15:04] ---
    and waited for me to exit the shower.
[15:07] Fuutarou
    H-Hey!
[15:08] Fuutarou
    That's a fabrication!
[15:10] Nino
    For his heinous crimes, I request that he
    be barred permanently from entering here.
[15:16] Fuutarou
    Th-That's too much!
[15:18] Ichika
    I can't say I approve of your actions.
[15:21] Fuutarou
    Ichika...
[15:22] Fuutarou
    I just came to get something.
[15:25] Fuutarou
    Y-Your Honor?
[15:28] Miku
    Objection.
[15:30] Miku
    Futaro may look like a criminal,
    but he's innocent.
[15:33] Fuutarou
    What do you mean, I look like a criminal?
[15:37] Miku
    I let him in over the intercom.
[15:39] Miku
    There's a recording, too.
[15:41] Miku
    This was an unforeseen accident.
[15:44] Fuutarou
    Miku!
[15:45] Nino
    You're still taking his side?
[15:48] Nino
    This guy said it himself!
[15:50] Nino
    That he's here to take something!
SIGN    Take
SIGN    To take sneak shots!
[15:53] Miku
    You mean he forgot something, 
    and he came to get it.
SIGN    Get
[15:59] Nino
    Your Honor, Miku is defending him
    due to her feelings for him.
[16:07] Miku
    N-No.
[16:09] Fuutarou
    I knew you would believe in me, Miku.
[16:13] Miku
    Don't come any closer.
[16:15] Fuutarou
    Huh?!
[16:17] Nino
    Are you acting like that
    because you're wary of him?
[16:20] Miku
    I'm not.
[16:21] Miku
    You're imagining things.
[16:23] Nino
    Just so you know, he saw me naked.
[16:26] Miku
    It's not like there's much to see.
[16:28] Nino
    Maybe not for you, but there is for me.
[16:31] Miku
    Our bodies are about the same.
[16:33] Itsuki
    N-Now's not the time to be arguing.
[16:35] Miku
    Shut up, Itsuki.
[16:37] Nino
    Also, delete that photo already.
[16:42] Itsuki
    Your Honor!
[16:43] Ichika
    There, there.
[16:46] Ichika
    Even if Miku were right, would you
    really end up in this position?
[16:51] Nino
    Ichika!
[16:52] Nino
    I knew you would understand.
[16:55] Nino
    This guy threw himself
    onto me out of nowhere.
[16:58] Fuutarou
    No, I was...
[16:59] Miku
    Futaro, is that true?
[17:02] Fuutarou
    Y-Yeah, but that was...
[17:04] Miku
    You're guilty.
[17:06] Miku
    Commit seppuku.
[17:07] Fuutarou
    M-Miku-san?!
[17:09] Fuutarou
    Shoot, I need to fight back.
[17:12] Fuutarou
    I'm going to lose my tutoring job.
[17:15] Fuutarou
    But can I get them to believe me?
[17:18] Fuutarou
    The shelves...
[17:19] Itsuki
    Some books fell off the the shelves,
[17:22] ---
    and he shielded Nino from them?
[17:27] Itsuki
    If you look carefully,
    you could see it that way.
[17:32] Itsuki
    Is that not it?
[17:34] Fuutarou
    Th-That's exactly it!
[17:36] Fuutarou
    Thanks, Itsuki.
[17:38] Itsuki
    I haven't done anything for you to thank me.
[17:41] Itsuki
    I'm just proposing a possible explanation.
[17:45] Miku
    True.
[17:47] Ichika
    Yeah, there's no way Futaro-kun
    would have the balls.
[17:50] Nino
    H-Hey!
[17:51] Nino
    Why are you talking like
    it's been resolved now?
[17:53] Nino
    Quit talking out of your ass!
[17:56] Miku
    Stop it, Nino.
[17:58] Nino
    How dare you?
[18:00] Ichika
    Come on, don't get so heated.
[18:03] Ichika
    We sisters used to get
    along so well, remember?
[18:09] Fuutarou
    That said, this happened
    because I was being careless.
[18:12] Fuutarou
    Sorry.
[18:14] Nino
    We used to?
[18:17] Nino
    I...
[18:19] Fuutarou
    Hey, Nino?
[18:25] Fuutarou
    She just left.
[18:27] Fuutarou
    Shouldn't we get her?
[18:31] Miku
    Let her be.
[18:35] Fuutarou
    I can finally go home and study.
[18:39] Raiha
    Hey! Dinner's ready!
SIGN    Uesugi Raiha
    
    Hello
SIGN    Inbox
[18:42] Raiha
    Get this, we're having
    your favorite: curry udon!
[18:49] Fuutarou
    Are they really okay with things as they are?
[18:53] Fuutarou
    Guess I shouldn't meddle too much
    in another family's issues.
[19:14] Nino
    God, you're so useless.
[19:16] Fuutarou
    What?
[19:18] Fuutarou
    She didn't bring her key,
[19:20] Fuutarou
    but she can't bring herself
    to ask the three girls inside?
[19:24] Nino
    What are you looking at?
[19:25] Nino
    I don't want to see your face anymore.
[19:29] Fuutarou
    I see.
[19:30] Fuutarou
    Well, sorry.
[19:32] Fuutarou
    She'd probably lash out if I helped her.
[19:35] Fuutarou
    Go ahead and wait by yourself.
[19:51] Nino
    What are you doing?
[19:52] Fuutarou
    There's a problem I just couldn't solve.
[19:56] Fuutarou
    I don't feel like going
    home until I solve it.
[20:00] Nino
    I see.
[20:01] Nino
    All you ever care about is studying.
    So stupid.
[20:04] Fuutarou
    Studying is stupid? That's a paradox.
[20:07] Fuutarou
    Wait, I guess you could say
     I'm studying because I'm stupid.
[20:10] Nino
    Shut up.
[20:13] Nino
    Everyone's so stupid. I hate them all.
[20:16] Fuutarou
    Everyone? Including your sisters?
[20:21] Fuutarou
    You're lying.
[20:23] Nino
    I'm not.
[20:24] Nino
    They've got to be crazy to let
    a creepy guy like you inside.
[20:29] Nino
    Our home...
[20:31] Fuutarou
    "This home is for us five.
    There's no place for him here."
[20:35] Fuutarou
    That's what you said.
[20:38] Nino
    Just shut up already.
[20:39] Fuutarou
    It can't be just because you hate me.
[20:43] Fuutarou
    You hate your sisters?
[20:45] Fuutarou
    Are you sure it's not the opposite?
[20:48] Fuutarou
    You love your four sisters, don't you?
[20:51] Fuutarou
    That's why you don't like
    an outsider like me.
[20:55] Nino
    What?
[20:57] Nino
    You're so incredibly wrong.
[21:00] Nino
    You think you understand me.
[21:03] Nino
    That could never happen.
[21:05] Nino
    Creep.
[21:12] Nino
    What? What's wrong with that?
[21:16] Nino
    I just...
[21:21] Fuutarou
    Nino, I know how you feel.
[21:24] Fuutarou
    I have a sister.
[21:26] Nino
    Yeah.
[21:28] Nino
    I didn't do anything wrong, did I?
[21:30] Nino
    This is so stupid. Why should I
    have to beat myself up over this?
[21:34] Nino
    I've made up my mind.
[21:39] Nino
    I'm not going to accept you.
[21:43] Nino
    Even if that makes the other girls hate me.
[21:52] Miku
    Nino, how long are you going to sit here?
[21:55] Miku
    Hurry up and get back inside.
[21:57] ---
    Miku?
[21:59] Miku
    You're here too, Futaro?
[22:01] Miku
    Perfect.
[22:02] Miku
    About tomorrow...
[22:02] Nino
    Let's head back, Miku.
[22:05] Miku
    But I still need to talk to him.
[22:07] Nino
    Forget it.
[22:12] Fuutarou
    It looks like it's going to get even harder.
[22:14] Fuutarou
    This is why I hate meddling too much.
SIGN    #03   A Mountain of Problems
SIGN    Next Time on The Quintessential Quintuplets
SIGN    #04 A Day Off
[23:51] Miku
    Quintuplet Trivia!
[23:52] Miku
    Nino's in charge of the chores.
[23:54] Nino
    We're taking turns cooking
    from now on, though.
[23:56] Yotsuba
    Okay!
[23:56] Yotsuba
    How much water?
[23:57] Yotsuba
    Eyeball it!
[23:58] Nino
    You're fired!
[23:58] Itsuki
    Five cups of rice each.
[23:59] Nino
    You're fired!
[24:00] Ichika
    I ordered pizza!
[24:01] Nino
    You're fired!
[24:02] Miku
    I'm...
[24:02] Nino
    Fired!