The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
Kyon is a cynical and sarcastic teenager. The first day of his first year of high school is filled with hopes of a normal school experience—hopes that are immediately dashed after meeting the beautiful and eccentric Haruhi Suzumiya. Haruhi is athletic, brilliant, and completely bored with life. At Kyon’s accidental suggestion, she decides to create her own club dedicated to finding and observing life’s oddities—like the aliens, espers, and time travelers she believes walk among normal people.

2009 Broadcast order - CR order

E1 - The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Part One
Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:24] ---
    How long you believed in Santa Claus...
[00:27] ---
    ...is so meaningless it won't
    even serve as idle chatter.
[00:31] ---
    If you still ask how long
    I believed in a made-up...
[00:34] ---
    ...red-suited old man
    named Santa, I say this for sure.
[00:38] ---
    I didn't believe in him from the start.
[00:41] ---
    I knew the Santa at my
    kindergarten Christmas event was a fake.
[00:46] ---
    I didn't even witness
    Mom kissing Santa or anything...
[00:50] ---
    ...but shrewdly, I doubted an old man
    who only worked on Christmas.
[00:55] ---
    But aliens, future men,
    ghosts, monsters, espers...
[00:59] ---
    ...evil cartels and anime, manga,
    live-action heroes that fight them...
[01:03] ---
    It wasn't till later in my life
    that I realized they all don't exist.
[01:08] ---
    No, I probably noticed it.
    I just didn't want to accept it.
[01:12] ---
    I longed for aliens, future men,
    ghosts, monsters, espers...
[01:17] ---
    ...and evil cartels to just appear
    from the bottom of my heart.
[01:21] ---
    But reality's harsher than you think.
[01:24] ---
    Impressed by the world's laws of physics...
[01:27] ---
    ...I didn't watch UFO and
    ghost TV shows with the same gusto.
[01:31] ---
    Aliens, future men, espers?
    No way they exist.
[01:35] ---
    But it'd be nice.
[01:36] ---
    I've grown to where I think things
    like the greatest common factor.
[01:40] ---
    Entrance Ceremony
[01:44] ---
    After graduating junior high,
    I had outgrown such childish dreams...
[01:49] ---
    ...and adjusted to life's plainness.
[01:52] ---
    I became a high schooler without fanfare...
[01:52] ---
    Best regards and hopes for the coming year!
[01:55] ---
    ...and met her.
[02:00] ---
    Haruhi Suzumiya from East Junior High.
[02:03] ---
    I'm not interested in ordinary humans.
[02:05] ---
    If any of you are aliens,
    future men, otherworlders, or espers...
[02:11] ---
    ...please come see me.
[02:13] ---
    That's all.
[02:16] ---
    Am I supposed to laugh here?
[02:20] ---
    A tremendously beautiful girl was there.
[02:33] ---
    Um, well, next...
[02:34] ---
    Everyone thought she was just joking.
[02:35] ---
    Taniguchi from East Junior High.
[02:37] ---
    My hobby is to write letters to radio programs.
[02:37] ---
    Conclusions first: It wasn't a gag or punch line.
[02:41] ---
    Haruhi is always dead serious.
[02:44] ---
    That was how we met.
[02:46] ---
    I really do think back and
    want to believe it was a coincidence.
[02:56] ---
    The answer is always in my heart.
[03:11] ---
    I don't know why, but I chose you.
[03:17] ---
    It won't stop now. Mr. Destiny deemed it so.
[03:23] ---
    I believe it's boring to just mimic.
[03:29] ---
    You'll be right, so I'll do what I feel as I feel it.
[03:38] ---
    It's an adventure, right, right?
[03:40] ---
    In this world where truth becomes fiction.
[03:45] ---
    We become stronger
    because we have dreams...
[03:49] ---
    ...not for the sake of someone.
[03:52] ---
    Please come with me.
[03:55] ---
    See me and my endlessly free self.
[04:01] ---
    Today's present that becomes
    tomorrow's past is the miracle.
[04:07] ---
    Let's grab the future.
[04:13] ---
    I believe you...
[04:22] ---
    Haruhi Suzumiya,
    as long as she quietly sits there...
[04:26] ---
    ...is nothing but a beautiful high schooler.
[04:29] ---
    My seat was just right in front of hers.
[04:32] ---
    It'd be nice to know her better...
    Who'd blame me for even a second?
[04:38] ---
    Hey, what you said in your introduction...
[04:41] ---
    How serious were you?
[04:44] ---
    What I said?
[04:46] ---
    Well, you know, about aliens and stuff.
[04:48] ---
    You're an alien?
[04:50] ---
    No...
[04:51] ---
    No what?
[04:53] ---
    No... Nothing.
[04:55] ---
    Then don't talk to me.
    You're wasting my time.
[05:03] ---
    Don't sweat it.
[05:04] ---
    I found out later that they were
    all from Haruhi's junior high.
[05:09] ---
    If you have the hots for her,
    I won't say anything bad...
[05:13] ---
    ...but forget it.
[05:15] ---
    I know her well since I was
    in her junior high class all three years.
[05:19] ---
    Her quirks are way beyond normal.
[05:22] ---
    That introduction?
[05:23] ---
    Yeah.
[05:24] ---
    In junior high, she did
    one wacky thing after another.
[05:28] ---
    She's known for the "quad scribbles."
[05:30] ---
    What's that?
[05:32] ---
    You know the tool that draws
    chalk lines? What are they called?
[05:36] ---
    Oh, well.
[05:37] ---
    She drew a giant,
    weird symbol on the quad with it.
[05:41] ---
    Snuck into school at night too.
[05:43] ---
    Oh, I remember reading about that.
[05:46] ---
    Wasn't that in the paper's local section?
[05:49] ---
    Like a badly done Nazca drawing.
[05:52] ---
    She was the one responsible?
[05:55] ---
    No mistake, since she said so herself.
[05:58] ---
    I was in class one morning,
    and all the desks were in the hall.
[06:02] ---
    And she painted a star on the roof...
[06:05] ---
    ...and plastered strange cards around campus.
[06:05] ---
    What's she doing?
[06:08] ---
    The type on a kyonshi's head.
[06:11] ---
    I don't get it.
[06:13] ---
    Still, she's popular with guys.
[06:15] ---
    She's got a pretty face.
[06:18] ---
    Plus, she's good at sports,
    and her grades are on the good side.
[06:22] ---
    You'd never know
    she's odd if she just stood there.
[06:25] ---
    That involves another episode?
[06:27] ---
    For a while, she was
    dating one guy after another.
[06:30] ---
    As far as I know,
    the longest lasted a week.
[06:34] ---
    And I heard the shortest ended
    five minutes after she accepted.
[06:40] ---
    I don't have time for common humans.
[06:42] ---
    Then don't accept!
[06:46] ---
    It's what I heard! Really.
[06:48] ---
    I don't know why,
    but she doesn't turn down dates.
[06:52] ---
    So before you have any weird ideas,
    I'll tell you outright.
[06:57] ---
    Forget it.
[06:57] ---
    Forget it? In the first place,
    I don't have that desire.
[07:04] ---
    If it were me, in this class, I'd go for...
[07:07] ---
    ...her.
[07:10] ---
    Ryoko Asakura.
[07:11] ---
    She's in the top three for freshmen girls.
[07:15] ---
    You checked out all the freshmen girls?
[07:18] ---
    Of course.
[07:20] ---
    I ranked them from A to D
    and memorized the A-ranks' full names.
[07:25] ---
    Asakura is an A?
[07:27] ---
    AA+ rank, I'd say.
[07:29] ---
    I'm sure she has a great
    personality on top of looks.
[07:35] ---
    Amazing!
[07:38] ---
    This was when Haruhi Suzumiya
    was still acting calm.
[07:42] ---
    The month soothed my heart.
[07:45] ---
    But bits of Haruhi's strange behavior...
[07:47] ---
    ...had already started
    to show themselves at this point.
[07:52] ---
    So, exhibit one.
    Her hairdo changed every day.
[07:56] ---
    Monday, Tuesday,
    Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.
[08:00] ---
    The number of hair ties progressed by day.
[08:03] ---
    After a Monday reset,
    it's one per day till Friday.
[08:06] ---
    What kind of hair does
    she have on Sunday? I'd like to see.
[08:13] ---
    Exhibit two.
[08:14] ---
    They saw me naked!
[08:15] ---
    PE class is separated by sex.
[08:18] ---
    For changing, girls use
    the odd classrooms, and boys use even.
[08:22] ---
    But she slowly stripped off
    her uniform with the boys still there.
[08:33] ---
    Male students are nothing more
    than potatoes to her, it seems.
[08:39] ---
    Exhibit three.
[08:42] ---
    To my dismay...
[08:43] ---
    Tea Ceremony Club
[08:44] ---
    ...Haruhi temporarily applied
[08:45] ---
    to every club in this school.
[08:49] ---
    Every sports club begged her to join,
    but she declined them all.
[08:54] ---
    Her club activity changed daily on a whim.
[08:57] ---
    In the end, she didn't join any club.
[09:00] ---
    What does she want to do, anyway?
[09:07] ---
    After this and that,
[09:09] ---
    Yo, Kyon.
[09:09] ---
    the first day after Golden Week break...
[09:11] ---
    Yo.
[09:12] ---
    Go anywhere for Golden Week?
[09:12] ---
    By the way, "Kyon" is my nickname.
[09:14] ---
    Grandma's with my sister.
[09:15] ---
    I wish he'd stop using it though.
[09:16] ---
    That's so boring.
[09:21] ---
    Oh, today's Wednesday.
[09:24] ---
    Such were my thoughts.
    Something must've gotten to me.
[09:28] ---
    I can't think of any other reason.
[09:30] ---
    Do you change hairdos
    each day to ward off aliens?
[09:34] ---
    I was talking to Haruhi Suzumiya.
[09:37] ---
    When did you notice?
[09:39] ---
    A while ago.
[09:40] ---
    Oh, I see.
[09:43] ---
    I think that each weekday
    has a different image that I feel.
[09:49] ---
    By colors, Monday is yellow, Tuesday is red...
[09:50] ---
    I felt a real conversation had been established
[09:53] ---
    ...Wednesday is blue,
[09:53] ---
    for the first time.
[09:54] ---
    Thursday is green, Friday is gold...
[09:57] ---
    ...Saturday is brown, and Sunday is white.
[09:59] ---
    I kind of understand.
[10:02] ---
    So in numbers,
    Monday is zero, and Sunday is six?
[10:07] ---
    Right.
[10:08] ---
    I feel that Monday is more like a one...
[10:12] ---
    Nobody asked for your opinion.
[10:14] ---
    Is that so?
[10:30] ---
    Have I met you somewhere? Like way back?
[10:34] ---
    No.
[10:36] ---
    Usually, something is triggered
    by a trivial event.
[10:41] ---
    This surely was my trigger.
[10:43] ---
    But the decent reply surprised me.
[10:46] ---
    I totally thought she'd say something like...
[10:49] ---
    ..."Shut up, noisy idiot.
    Such things don't matter!"
[10:54] ---
    So when she came the next day
    with her long hair chopped...
[10:58] ---
    ...I was pretty disturbed by it.
[11:00] ---
    Isn't cutting it short the day after
    I made the comment too rash?
[11:07] ---
    Not really.
[11:10] ---
    Since then, it was becoming a ritual
[11:12] ---
    to talk to Haruhi...
[11:12] ---
    I heard something in the rumor mill...
[11:14] ---
    ...in the few minutes before homeroom.
[11:15] ---
    Is it true...
[11:16] ---
    ...you dumped every guy you dated?
[11:19] ---
    Why do I have to be
    lectured about that by you?
[11:22] ---
    I don't know what you want to ask, but fine.
[11:25] ---
    It's probably all true.
[11:27] ---
    Wasn't there at least one guy
    you seriously considered dating?
[11:31] ---
    None were good.
[11:33] ---
    One and all were so serious it felt stupid.
[11:36] ---
    They weren't aliens, future men, or espers...
[11:39] ---
    That's normal.
[11:41] ---
    And what's with most asking over the phone?
[11:44] ---
    Say those important things face-to-face.
[11:47] ---
    Well, yeah.
[11:49] ---
    I'd say it to her directly.
[11:49] ---
    I'll just agree for now.
[11:51] ---
    Those things don't matter.
[11:54] ---
    Which is it?
[11:55] ---
    The problem is whether or not
    the universe's men are pathetic.
[12:01] ---
    Really, it always irritated me in junior high.
[12:04] ---
    Then who would've been good?
    An alien, after all?
[12:08] ---
    An alien or something equivalent in nature.
[12:11] ---
    If it's not a common human...
[12:14] ---
    ...boy or girl doesn't matter...
[12:15] ---
    Why are you...
[12:17] ---
    ...so adamant about beings
    other than normal humans?
[12:20] ---
    Because that way,
    things are more fun.
[12:34] ---
    Hey, Kyon.
    What kind of magic did you use?
[12:37] ---
    What's that?
[12:39] ---
    This is the first time I've seen
    Suzumiya talk for so long.
[12:43] ---
    What did you say?
[12:45] ---
    I wonder.
[12:46] ---
    I think everything I said was rather random.
[12:50] ---
    It's world-shaking.
[12:51] ---
    Kyon always went after the strange girls...
[12:55] ---
    Don't talk with such undertones.
[12:57] ---
    I'd like to hear it too.
[13:00] ---
    Miss Suzumiya never replies,
    no matter how much I talk.
[13:04] ---
    How could we chat?
    Are there any good tips?
[13:07] ---
    I dunno.
[13:10] ---
    But I'm relieved.
[13:11] ---
    I'd be troubled if she was
    always alone in this class.
[13:16] ---
    It's good she made at least one friend.
[13:18] ---
    Friend, huh...
[13:21] ---
    Keep it up so that she can
    be a part of the class too.
[13:25] ---
    We're in the same class,
    so we want to get along, right?
[13:29] ---
    Please.
[13:30] ---
    Even so...
[13:32] ---
    If there's anything to tell her,
    we'll have you tell her.
[13:38] ---
    Now, wait. I'm not her spokesman or anything.
[13:43] ---
    Please.
[13:53] ---
    Kyon, we're friends, right?
[13:56] ---
    They're all idiots.
[13:58] ---
    We're changing seats.
    I picked a number from the Gaufre can...
[14:03] ---
    ...for a nice position,
    the second-to-last window seat.
[14:07] ---
    Farewell, Haruhi... forever.
[14:11] ---
    This is a coincidence, right?
[14:13] ---
    Is it true you tried every single club?
[14:16] ---
    Let me know if there's an interesting club.
[14:20] ---
    None at all.
[14:21] ---
    Instant reply.
[14:23] ---
    At all.
[14:24] ---
    It seems she likes to say "at all" a lot.
[14:27] ---
    I thought it'd improve a bit in high school...
[14:30] ---
    ...but it's no different
    from the forced schooling.
[14:34] ---
    Did I enter the wrong school?
[14:36] ---
    I wonder what her school-picking criteria are.
[14:39] ---
    There was a mystery research club.
[14:41] ---
    How was it?
[14:43] ---
    Laughable.
[14:44] ---
    They said they never really
    encountered a real case.
[14:48] ---
    They were just mystery-novel
    otakus with no supersleuths.
[14:52] ---
    Of course.
[14:54] ---
    The supernatural phenomenon
    research club looked good...
[14:57] ---
    ...but they were just occult maniacs.
    What do you think?
[15:01] ---
    Nothing either way.
[15:03] ---
    It's so boring!
[15:04] ---
    With so many, you'd think
    there'd be a few strange clubs.
[15:08] ---
    You can't help it.
[15:10] ---
    In the end, humans have to be
    satisfied with what's given them.
[15:15] ---
    If I may say so, those who can't do that...
[15:18] ---
    ...make inventions and discoveries
    that progress society.
[15:21] ---
    Making planes since they wanted to fly...
[15:24] ---
    ...and cars and trains
    since they wanted easy travel.
[15:28] ---
    But that was because
    some humans used wit or imagination...
[15:33] ---
    In other words, genius made it possible.
[15:36] ---
    We common folk find it best
    to spend life in common ways.
[15:40] ---
    Shut up!
[15:45] ---
    Perhaps this conversation
    was what sparked the idea.
[15:50] ---
    It came suddenly.
[15:58] ---
    What are you doing?
[15:59] ---
    I got it!
[16:00] ---
    What?
[16:01] ---
    Why didn't I realize
    such a simple thing till now?
[16:05] ---
    What?
[16:06] ---
    If there isn't one, I just make my own!
[16:08] ---
    What, I ask?
[16:10] ---
    A club!
[16:15] ---
    Got it. Well, just calm down.
[16:17] ---
    What's with that reaction?
    Be happier about this discovery too.
[16:22] ---
    We're in class.
[16:33] ---
    Help me out.
[16:35] ---
    I feel like I'm being shaken down.
[16:38] ---
    With what?
[16:39] ---
    Making my new club.
[16:41] ---
    Why do I have to help
    with something you thought up?
[16:45] ---
    Answer that first.
[16:46] ---
    I'll get a room and some members...
[16:49] ---
    ...so you get the school paperwork done.
[16:50] ---
    She's not listening.
[16:52] ---
    What club will you make?
[16:55] ---
    That doesn't matter.
[16:57] ---
    For now, we're just making one. Got it?
[16:59] ---
    Research it before school ends.
    I'll find a clubroom.
[17:04] ---
    Got that?
[17:06] ---
    Rules of creating a new extracurricular group...
[17:10] ---
    At least five members,
    an advising teacher, a name...
[17:14] ---
    ...person in charge, and the group's purpose.
[17:17] ---
    I didn't have to research.
    It was in back of the student handbook.
[17:21] ---
    But I bet what Haruhi's thinking of doing...
[17:25] ---
    ...won't be fit for an imaginative
    yet energetic school life.
[17:31] ---
    H-Hold on a bit...
[17:34] ---
    This is our clubroom from now on!
[17:36] ---
    Wait a minute. Where are we?
[17:39] ---
    The culture department's clubroom wing.
[17:41] ---
    The art club and wind ensemble
    have art and music rooms, right?
[17:46] ---
    Clubs and groups without special
    classrooms have rooms here...
[17:50] ---
    ...the clubroom wing AKA the old building.
    The literature club's here.
[17:55] ---
    Literature Club
[17:55] ---
    Then it's theirs.
[17:57] ---
    But their seniors graduated
    last spring, so zero members.
[18:01] ---
    It's the only club that'll disappear
    if new members don't join.
[18:05] ---
    And this girl is a new freshman member.
[18:09] ---
    Then it's not on hiatus.
[18:11] ---
    Same difference. She's the only one.
[18:14] ---
    What about her?
[18:16] ---
    She doesn't mind.
[18:18] ---
    You sure?
[18:19] ---
    She said okay when I asked
    about the clubroom at lunch.
[18:23] ---
    She's fine as long as she can read books.
[18:27] ---
    I agree that she's strange.
[18:29] ---
    You're one to talk.
[18:33] ---
    Yuki Nagato.
[18:36] ---
    Miss Nagato, was it?
[18:38] ---
    She's turning this into some
    unknown club's room. That's fine?
[18:43] ---
    It's fine.
[18:44] ---
    But I'm pretty sure that
    we'll cause you a lot of trouble.
[18:48] ---
    Not much.
[18:49] ---
    You might get kicked out.
[18:51] ---
    Go ahead.
[18:54] ---
    Well, there you have it.
    So we'll meet in this room after school.
[18:59] ---
    You'd better show up.
    If you don't, it's the death sentence.
[19:03] ---
    All right...
[19:05] ---
    I don't want a death sentence.
[19:07] ---
    First off, members.
    We need at least two more people.
[19:11] ---
    What, that literature club
    member is in the head count?
[19:16] ---
    Is she assuming that girl comes with the room?
[19:19] ---
    Don't worry. I'll get them soon.
    I have leads on random people.
[19:25] ---
    The next day.
[19:27] ---
    Go ahead without me!
[19:30] ---
    As for me... I had no choice.
[19:33] ---
    I found myself heading
    over to the clubroom.
[19:35] ---
    Literature Club
[19:37] ---
    What are you reading?
[19:40] ---
    Is it interesting?
[19:45] ---
    Unique.
[19:46] ---
    Which part?
[19:49] ---
    All.
[19:50] ---
    You really like books.
[19:55] ---
    Pretty much.
[19:56] ---
    I see...
[19:59] ---
    Can I go home?
[20:04] ---
    Oh, sorry. I'm late.
[20:06] ---
    She took a while to grab.
[20:08] ---
    It was another girl.
[20:10] ---
    What is this?
[20:10] ---
    A really pretty girl too.
[20:13] ---
    Where am I?
[20:14] ---
    Why was I brought here?
[20:19] ---
    Why are you l-locking it?
[20:21] ---
    What are you...
[20:21] ---
    Be quiet.
[20:24] ---
    Let me introduce her. Mikuru Asahina.
[20:31] ---
    That's it for the introductions?
[20:34] ---
    Where'd you kidnap her?
[20:36] ---
    I did no such thing. She came freely.
[20:38] ---
    Same difference.
[20:40] ---
    I caught her spacing out
    in the juniors' classrooms.
[20:43] ---
    I walk every inch of
    the main building during recess...
[20:47] ---
    ...so I recalled seeing her a few times.
[20:50] ---
    I knew she wasn't around
    at recess... She was doing that?
[20:55] ---
    Then she's an upperclassman.
[20:57] ---
    How's that an issue?
[20:59] ---
    Oh, well...
[21:01] ---
    Miss Asahina, was it? Why her of all people?
[21:04] ---
    Well, just look.
[21:08] ---
    She's way cute, right?
[21:10] ---
    Sounds like a dangerous kidnapper.
[21:12] ---
    I think moe is a pretty
    important concept to keep in mind.
[21:17] ---
    Sorry, what?
[21:19] ---
    Moe! Moe!
[21:20] ---
    In other words, a moe aspect.
[21:22] ---
    Basically, in stories where
    strange things happen...
[21:26] ---
    ...there's always one moe
    and Lolita character around.
[21:33] ---
    That's not all.
[21:38] ---
    She's short, but she's got
    bigger breasts than me! Big breasts!
[21:43] ---
    This is another key aspect in moe.
[21:46] ---
    Dunno.
[21:46] ---
    H-H-Help me!
[21:47] ---
    Man, they're really huge.
[21:49] ---
    This is irritating. Such a cute
    face, yet hers are bigger!
[21:54] ---
    Are you dumb?
[21:55] ---
    But they're way huge! Really!
[21:57] ---
    Want to feel?
[21:59] ---
    I'll pass.
[22:01] ---
    So, what? You brought Miss Asahina here...
[22:04] ---
    ...just because she's cute,
    petite, and well-endowed?
[22:09] ---
    Right.
[22:10] ---
    She really is dumb.
[22:12] ---
    I thought we needed a mascot of sorts.
[22:16] ---
    Mikuru, are you in any other clubs?
[22:19] ---
    Um, calligraphy...
[22:21] ---
    Then quit it. It'll interfere
    with our club activities.
[22:38] ---
    I see.
[22:40] ---
    I get it.
[22:42] ---
    What'd she get?
[22:43] ---
    I'll quit the calligraphy club and join.
[22:46] ---
    But I'm not really sure
    what the literature club does...
[22:50] ---
    We're not the literature club.
[22:53] ---
    We're just borrowing this clubroom now.
[22:56] ---
    You're taking part in
    what Suzumiya there is making...
[23:00] ---
    ...a nameless group with no set activities.
[23:03] ---
    By the way, the girl sitting there
    reading is a real lit club member.
[23:08] ---
    I see...
[23:09] ---
    It's all right! I just came up with a name!
[23:13] ---
    Out with it.
[23:15] ---
    An announcement.
[23:17] ---
    The newly formed club's name
    has just been decided!
[23:22] ---
    The SOS Brigade!
[23:26] ---
    Spreading Excitement
     All Over the World...
[23:28] ---
    ...With Haruhi Suzumiya's Brigade.
[23:30] ---
    The SOS Brigade for short.
[23:33] ---
    You can laugh now.
[23:35] ---
    Normally, it'd be
    "Spreading Excitement All Over...
[23:38] ---
    ...the World With Haruhi
    Suzumiya's School Organization."
[23:42] ---
    But we're not a school organization...
[23:45] ---
    ...and don't even know what the group does.
[23:48] ---
    Then "brigade" is good enough.
[23:51] ---
    With Haruhi's baffling sentence...
[23:53] ---
    ...it was decided, and there was rejoicing.
[23:56] ---
    Do what you want, sheesh.
[24:06] ---
    If we figured out the globe
    like we would a riddle...
[24:12] ---
    ...we could all go anywhere together.
[24:15] ---
    To the end of time, BOOOON!
[24:18] ---
    This feeling that is a warp and a loop.
[24:22] ---
    With an imagination that engulfs
    anything and everything, let's play.
[24:28] ---
    Something on one sunny day,
    more fun than any magic possible...
[24:33] ---
    ...endlessly pours down. It's not impossible.
[24:39] ---
    When we meet again tomorrow,
    we're all humming as we smile.
[24:45] ---
    Let's gather happiness. Such a thing is so easy.
[24:50] ---
    Chase after me. Try to catch it.
[24:55] ---
    A big dream... You like dreams, right?

E2 - The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Part Two
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:23] ---
    It's been about a month
    since we entered school...
[00:26] ---
    ...and I've enjoyed this
    early hiking course as much as I could...
[00:31] ---
    ...like Sisyphus trying to
    roll the boulder up the hilltop.
[00:35] ---
    But along with that, something happened...
[00:38] ---
    ...that broke my composure
    with a magnitude 8.0 earthquake.
[00:43] ---
    N-No, I'll rephrase that to "something started."
[00:49] ---
    If there isn't one, I just make my own!
[00:52] ---
    A club!
[00:53] ---
    Help me out.
[00:55] ---
    I just came up with a name!
[00:59] ---
    The SOS Brigade!
[01:02] ---
    This is the start of a never-ending hell...
[01:05] ---
    ...thanks to Haruhi Suzumiya, a rare eccentric.
[01:08] ---
    Good morning.
[01:10] ---
    Oh, morning.
[01:11] ---
    I forgot I had class duties.
[01:13] ---
    I have to get the log from the teacher's lounge.
[01:16] ---
    Sorry, I'm going on ahead.
[01:19] ---
    A girl like that's in my class, yet...
[01:25] ---
    Hey, Kyon, what else do you think we need?
[01:29] ---
    What?
[01:29] ---
    I think we need the mysterious
    transfer student covered.
[01:34] ---
    Please make the context clear when you talk.
[01:37] ---
    The SOS Brigade's needs!
    I'd like a mysterious transfer student.
[01:42] ---
    Before that, define "mysterious."
[01:45] ---
    It hasn't been two months since the new year.
[01:49] ---
    Don't you think a transfer
    this soon is mysterious enough?
[01:54] ---
    Dads get relocated suddenly.
[01:57] ---
    No, it's unnatural.
[01:59] ---
    I'd like to know what you'd consider "natural."
[02:02] ---
    Hm, I wonder if we'll get
    a mysterious transfer student.
[02:07] ---
    In other words, you don't
    give a hoot about my opinions.
[02:18] ---
    The answer is always in my heart.
[02:33] ---
    I don't know why, but I chose you.
[02:39] ---
    It won't stop now. Mr. Destiny deemed it so.
[02:45] ---
    I believe it's boring to just mimic.
[02:51] ---
    You'll be right, so I'll do what I feel as I feel it.
[03:00] ---
    It's an adventure, right, right?
[03:02] ---
    In this world where truth becomes fiction.
[03:07] ---
    We become stronger
    because we have dreams...
[03:11] ---
    ...not for the sake of someone.
[03:14] ---
    Please come with me.
[03:17] ---
    See me and my endlessly free self.
[03:23] ---
    Today's present that becomes
    tomorrow's past is the miracle.
[03:28] ---
    Let's grab the future.
[03:35] ---
    I believe you...
[03:44] ---
    It seems there's a rumor
[03:45] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya II
[03:46] ---
    Haruhi and I are up to something.
[03:50] ---
    What are you doing with Suzumiya?
[03:53] ---
    You haven't started dating, right?
[03:56] ---
    Of course not.
[03:57] ---
    I'd like to know more than
    anyone else what I'm doing right now.
[04:02] ---
    Take it easy. This isn't junior high.
[04:06] ---
    If you make the grounds unusable,
    you'd at least get suspended.
[04:11] ---
    I have to make sure Yuki Nagato
    and Mikuru Asahina aren't affected.
[04:16] ---
    Brigade Leader
[04:18] ---
    Since the SOS Brigade's founding...
[04:18] ---
    Brigade Leader
[04:19] ---
    ...the desolate literature clubroom
    started to gain all sorts of stuff.
[04:24] ---
    Or rather, is she planning on living here?
[04:28] ---
    I'd like a computer here too!
[04:32] ---
    It's unforgivable not to have a PC
    when information rules society.
[04:37] ---
    And who won't you forgive?
[04:40] ---
    We'll go get one.
[04:42] ---
    Hey, you have a lead?
    Gonna rob an electronics store?
[04:46] ---
    Of course not. Somewhere that's closer.
[04:47] ---
    Computer Club
[04:50] ---
    Hello!
[04:52] ---
    I'm here to get a computer and its accessories!
[04:57] ---
    Who's the leader?
[04:59] ---
    What do you want?
[05:01] ---
    There's only one reason to come
    all the way to the computer club.
[05:05] ---
    Give me just one PC.
[05:08] ---
    What's all this now?
[05:10] ---
    You can spare one. You have so many.
[05:13] ---
    Before that, who are you?
[05:15] ---
    SOS Brigade leader, Haruhi Suzumiya.
[05:18] ---
    These two are henchmen ♪1 and ♪2.
[05:23] ---
    So don't give me crap and hand one over.
[05:26] ---
    For what reason? Of course I won't!
[05:33] ---
    Oh, I see.
[05:34] ---
    Then I have other plans...
[05:44] ---
    What the...
[05:50] ---
    W-What are you...
[05:52] ---
    Now, one more shot.
[05:58] ---
    What are you doing?
[06:00] ---
    Tsk, tsk, tsk.
[06:02] ---
    I have a photo of your sexual harassment.
[06:05] ---
    If you don't want it all over campus,
    hurry up and hand over a PC.
[06:10] ---
    This is ludicrous! You forced me!
[06:13] ---
    I'm innocent!
[06:15] ---
    I wonder how many will listen to your side.
[06:22] ---
    They're all witnesses!
[06:24] ---
    That's right!
[06:26] ---
    Our leader's not at fault!
[06:28] ---
    I'll just say that all the members
    ganged up and <BEEP>ed her!
[06:34] ---
    That's too...
[06:35] ---
    Well? Will you hand it over or not?
[06:38] ---
    M-Miss Suzumiya...
[06:52] ---
    Take whichever one you want.
[06:55] ---
    Leader!
[06:57] ---
    Get a grip...
[06:58] ---
    Think straight...
[07:00] ---
    What comedy show is this?
[07:05] ---
    Which one's newest?
[07:07] ---
    Why do I have to tell you that?
[07:14] ---
    Damn. It's that one.
[07:16] ---
    I got a list of recent computer models
    at a PC shop yesterday.
[07:22] ---
    This one isn't listed on it.
[07:28] ---
    I'll take this one.
[07:30] ---
    W-Wait! That's the one
    I just bought last month...
[07:37] ---
    Take it, you thief.
[07:39] ---
    As you say, she really is a thief.
[07:42] ---
    Well, Kyon.
[07:44] ---
    Carry it.
[07:45] ---
    And like that, Haruhi procured
    a state-of-the-art computer.
[07:51] ---
    Finding the clubroom
    can't connect to the Internet...
[07:54] ---
    ...she calls the computer club leader
    and others to pull LAN cables...
[07:58] ---
    ...and arrange a Net connection
    using the school domain.
[08:02] ---
    This is a thief standing proud.
[08:08] ---
    For now, let's go back.
[08:14] ---
    Miss Asahina, it's better not to
    be involved in such a strange brigade.
[08:20] ---
    You don't know what
    she'll be doing to you in the future.
[08:25] ---
    No, it's all right.
[08:32] ---
    You're staying too, right?
[08:38] ---
    I'm sure that this is
    a necessity in this time plane...
[08:45] ---
    And that Miss Nagato is here too worries me.
[08:48] ---
    What does?
[08:50] ---
    Oh, nothing.
[08:54] ---
    I'm rather inexperienced,
    but my best regards for the future.
[08:59] ---
    And about me... Please call me Mikuru.
[09:07] ---
    Now then, what was waiting next...
[09:07] ---
    SOS Brigade website creation
[09:12] ---
    So who'll make this "website" or whatever?
[09:16] ---
    You're bored anyway, right?
[09:18] ---
    You do it.
[09:20] ---
    I have to go find the remaining members.
[09:23] ---
    Get it done in a day or two.
[09:25] ---
    There's no way to be active
    without a running website.
[09:34] ---
    Building a website, huh...
[09:37] ---
    So I thought, but I was amused and made one.
[09:40] ---
    The computer club installed
    most of the applications, so it was easy.
[09:45] ---
    A good way to spend a boring lunch break.
[09:48] ---
    Welcome to the SOS Brigade website!
[09:48] ---
    What kind of things do I write?
[09:51] ---
    I don't even know what
    the SOS Brigade is meant to be doing.
[09:56] ---
    Nagato, have anything you want to write?
[09:59] ---
    Nothing.
[10:05] ---
    All things aside,
    is she really attending her classes?
[10:23] ---
    Oh no, class time.
[10:28] ---
    I'll lend you this.
[10:48] ---
    The speculations never end...
[10:50] ---
    ...but why do I eagerly
    commute to the clubroom?
[10:54] ---
    Why?
[10:56] ---
    Is this what you call habit, or perhaps...
[11:00] ---
    Hello!
[11:02] ---
    Or rather, are they really bored or something?
[11:06] ---
    I can't say I'm not either...
[11:08] ---
    Where's Miss Suzumiya?
[11:10] ---
    Dunno. She was already gone
    during sixth period.
[11:14] ---
    Maybe she's stealing some other
    material from somewhere.
[11:19] ---
    Will I face something like yesterday?
[11:22] ---
    It'll be fine. Next time,
    I'll do everything I can to prevent that.
[11:26] ---
    Really?
[11:28] ---
    Thank you. I trust you to do so.
[11:32] ---
    I'll be trusted.
[11:33] ---
    Yoo-hoo!
[11:36] ---
    "Yoo-hoo"?
[11:42] ---
    Look first.
[11:43] ---
    Policy explanation of
    the SOS Brigade's founding...
[11:49] ---
    And this.
[11:51] ---
    Ta-dah! We're going to
    wear this and pass out flyers.
[11:56] ---
    Where?
[11:57] ---
    The main gate. Students are going home now.
[12:00] ---
    And wear what?
[12:02] ---
    Not you. Mikuru will wear it.
[12:06] ---
    Yes?
[12:06] ---
    A bunny girl!
[12:08] ---
    Um, um, how do I...
[12:10] ---
    Well, get changed!
[12:12] ---
    I don't want to.
[12:13] ---
    Shut up! Strip!
[12:17] ---
    Suzumiya! Stop it!
[12:19] ---
    No!
[12:20] ---
    Don't look!
[12:22] ---
    Behave!
[12:26] ---
    Stop!
[12:27] ---
    Hurry up and take it all off!
[12:34] ---
    No!
[12:34] ---
    Fight!
[12:37] ---
    I'll take it off myself at least...
[12:40] ---
    No... No!
[12:44] ---
    Come in now!
[12:45] ---
    She's like an evil magistrate.
[12:49] ---
    Well? This'll get us noticed for sure!
[12:52] ---
    If nothing else... Nagato was spared?
[12:56] ---
    I could only afford two.
    It was a full set, so it was pricey!
[13:00] ---
    Where'd you buy it?
[13:02] ---
    Online.
[13:04] ---
    I see.
[13:05] ---
    Well, we'll be going.
[13:07] ---
    Let's go, Mikuru.
[13:10] ---
    No... No!
[13:13] ---
    Let's go! Yeah!
[13:17] ---
    I'm sorry.
[13:19] ---
    Honestly, the outfit gets me all worked up...
[13:23] ---
    Too much passion.
[13:40] ---
    Oh, brother...
[13:42] ---
    Still some body heat left...
    such a vivid memory...
[13:50] ---
    Policy explanation of
    the SOS Brigade's founding.
[13:53] ---
    The SOS Brigade is seeking out
    this universe's mysteries.
[13:57] ---
    Those who've had strange experiences...
[14:01] ---
    Those who witness
    bizarre phenomena right now...
[14:05] ---
    Those who plan on
    going through strange things...
[14:07] ---
    Those people should come consult us.
[14:11] ---
    We'll lead you to a solution at once.
    But ordinary mysteries are no good.
[14:16] ---
    It must be so strange as to
    even surprise us. Please take heed.
[14:21] ---
    I think I'm getting the reason
    for this brigade's existence bit by bit.
[14:30] ---
    They piss me off!
    What's with those stupid teachers?!
[14:34] ---
    They're in the way!
[14:35] ---
    Did you run into a problem?
[14:37] ---
    Denied!
[14:38] ---
    I only gave out half the flyers,
    and they told me to stop!
[14:42] ---
    Who are they?
[14:44] ---
    If two bunny girls were
    passing out flyers at the main gate...
[14:48] ---
    ...all sorts would come by.
[14:50] ---
    Mikuru starts to wail,
    I get pulled into the detention room...
[14:54] ---
    ...and handball-freak Okabe comes by...
[14:57] ---
    People didn't know where to keep their eyes.
[15:00] ---
    I'm going to call it a day.
[15:03] ---
    Dismissed!
[15:07] ---
    How long are you going to cry?
    Hurry up and change!
[15:19] ---
    Kyon...
[15:21] ---
    If I'm no longer able to be a bride,
    will you marry me?
[15:31] ---
    What should I say...
[15:32] ---
    You're walking away like one
    who didn't get into college...
[15:37] ---
    ...or a salaryman who got laid off
    after overdoing it to buy a house.
[15:42] ---
    Before that, you're going to
    call me by that nickname too?
[15:48] ---
    The next day,
    "Haruhi Suzumiya" was beyond famous...
[15:51] ---
    ...and became common knowledge
    to the entire campus.
[15:55] ---
    You know, Kyon...
[15:57] ---
    You finally became one of
    Suzumiya's fun, little friends.
[16:01] ---
    Shut up.
[16:03] ---
    As accessories...
[16:05] ---
    ...my and Miss Asahina's
    name started to go around.
[16:08] ---
    The bunny girls outside the gate
    really surprised me yesterday.
[16:14] ---
    One was the junior Miss Asahina, right?
[16:17] ---
    You're the center of attention on campus now.
[16:20] ---
    What is this SOS Brigade?
[16:25] ---
    Ask Suzumiya.
[16:27] ---
    I don't know, and don't want to.
[16:29] ---
    It looks like you're having fun.
[16:32] ---
    But I think that was going a bit too far.
[16:36] ---
    This day, Miss Asahina
    didn't show up to school.
[16:40] ---
    Why isn't there any e-mail?
    I advertised so much...
[16:44] ---
    No one's curious enough
    to associate with us after that.
[16:48] ---
    I won't disagree that it did get attention.
[16:51] ---
    Oh, Mikuru isn't here today?
[16:55] ---
    Maybe she'll never come again.
    I hope she wasn't traumatized.
[16:59] ---
    I got a new outfit for her today too.
[17:03] ---
    You wear it.
[17:04] ---
    Of course I'll wear it too.
    But it's boring if Mikuru isn't here.
[17:09] ---
    Why not have Nagato wear it?
    I'm sure she wouldn't complain.
[17:13] ---
    Besides, it's something
    I think I'd like to see...
[17:17] ---
    Oh, I set up the SOS Brigade
    but ran ashore with it so soon.
[17:22] ---
    Is everyone holding out?
    Selfishly keeping mysteries?
[17:27] ---
    Haruhi, there isn't enough
    mystery in this public high school...
[17:32] ---
    ...that you'd get a reply right away
    when you ask if there is one.
[17:38] ---
    You get that?
    You recognize that reality, don't you?
[17:42] ---
    It's the doubt and irritation of youth...
[17:45] ---
    ...with no outlet that
    leads to such rash behavior.
[17:48] ---
    Why don't you wake up,
    grab some handsome guy...
[17:52] ---
    ...and go home together
    or watch movies on Sundays?
[17:56] ---
    Or join a sports team and cause havoc there?
[18:00] ---
    Someone like you can go varsity right away.
[18:03] ---
    I'm going home!
[18:14] ---
    Then I'll go home too.
[18:17] ---
    Did you read it?
[18:18] ---
    Read what?
[18:21] ---
    The book.
[18:22] ---
    Oh, no, not yet...
[18:25] ---
    Should I return it?
[18:26] ---
    You don't have to.
[18:28] ---
    Her lines are never more than
    one line of manuscript paper...
[18:33] ---
    Read it today.
[18:35] ---
    As soon as you go home.
[18:39] ---
    All right.
[18:57] ---
    I'll wait at the park across
    Kouyouen Station at 7.
[19:01] ---
    Kyon, where are you going?
[19:03] ---
    The station.
    Don't talk with your mouth full!
[19:19] ---
    Was today the day?
[19:22] ---
    Or did you wait yesterday too?
[19:26] ---
    Why here of all places?
[19:29] ---
    This way.
[19:49] ---
    Oh, what about your folks?
[19:53] ---
    Not here.
[19:55] ---
    No, I can tell they're not here
    right now... They just stepped out?
[20:00] ---
    I'm the only one here to begin with.
[20:04] ---
    You live alone?
[20:05] ---
    Right.
[20:08] ---
    So what do you want?
[20:15] ---
    Drink.
[20:20] ---
    Tasty?
[20:24] ---
    Yeah.
[20:51] ---
    I'm gonna give birth...
[20:53] ---
    Why don't you get to telling me
    why you brought me here?
[21:01] ---
    What can't you tell me at school?
[21:11] ---
    About Haruhi Suzumiya.
[21:14] ---
    And about me.
[21:19] ---
    I'll tell you.
[21:23] ---
    What about you and Suzumiya?
[21:30] ---
    I can't properly put it into words.
[21:33] ---
    There may be errors in relaying information.
[21:37] ---
    But please listen.
[21:41] ---
    Haruhi Suzumiya and I are not ordinary humans.
[21:45] ---
    I kind of get that you two aren't normal.
[21:49] ---
    That's not what I mean.
[21:53] ---
    Not that we have strange
    archetypes of personalities.
[21:57] ---
    Literally, she and I...
[22:01] ---
    ...are not the same as the majority
    of ordinary humans like you.
[22:05] ---
    I am a humanoid interface
    for contact with organic life forms...
[22:11] ---
    ...created by the Information
    Integration Thought Entity...
[22:17] ---
    ...that governs this galaxy.
[22:20] ---
    Yes?
[22:22] ---
    A being that, using common terms...
[22:25] ---
    ...is classified as an alien.
[22:31] ---
    Alien?
[22:49] ---
    If we figured out the globe
    like we would a riddle...
[22:55] ---
    ...we could all go anywhere together.
[22:58] ---
    To the end of time, BOOOON!
[23:01] ---
    This feeling that is a warp and a loop.
[23:05] ---
    With an imagination that engulfs
    anything and everything, let's play.
[23:11] ---
    Something on one sunny day,
    more fun than any magic possible...
[23:16] ---
    ...endlessly pours down. It's not impossible.
[23:22] ---
    When we meet again tomorrow,
    we're all humming as we smile.
[23:28] ---
    Let's gather happiness. Such a thing is so easy.
[23:33] ---
    Chase after me. Try to catch it.
[23:38] ---
    A big dream... You like dreams, right?

E3 - The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Part Three
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:24] ---
    Alien?
[00:26] ---
    I observe Haruhi Suzumiya...
[00:29] ---
    ...and report the information
    to the thought entity.
[00:32] ---
    I have been doing so
    since my birth three years ago.
[00:36] ---
    The three years were
    peaceful with no uncertainty.
[00:40] ---
    But lately, inescapable irregularities
    are in Haruhi Suzumiya's world.
[00:46] ---
    That is...
[00:47] ---
    ...you.
[00:53] ---
    The answer is always in my heart.
[01:00] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
[01:08] ---
    I don't know why, but I chose you.
[01:14] ---
    It won't stop now. Mr. Destiny deemed it so.
[01:20] ---
    I believe it's boring to just mimic.
[01:26] ---
    You'll be right, so I'll do what I feel as I feel it.
[01:35] ---
    It's an adventure, right, right?
[01:37] ---
    In this world where truth becomes fiction.
[01:42] ---
    We become stronger
    because we have dreams...
[01:46] ---
    ...not for the sake of someone.
[01:49] ---
    Please come with me.
[01:52] ---
    See me and my endlessly free self.
[01:58] ---
    Today's present that becomes
    tomorrow's past is the miracle.
[02:03] ---
    Let's grab the future.
[02:10] ---
    I believe you...
[02:19] ---
    To the thought entity...
[02:20] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya III
[02:21] ---
    ...this system's third planet
    at galaxy's end had no special value.
[02:26] ---
    But the planet called Earth
    by its inhabitants grew in importance...
[02:31] ---
    ...when bipedal animals developed
    the ability to think, or wisdom.
[02:36] ---
    This was because it might lead to breaking
    its autonomy's stagnating growth.
[02:43] ---
    Becoming self-aware is common
    in the universe's organic life...
[02:48] ---
    ...but only earthlings evolved
    it into a higher form, wisdom.
[02:52] ---
    The entity carefully,
    yet thoroughly, continued observing.
[02:56] ---
    Three years ago, it observed
    an atypic data flare-up on the surface.
[03:02] ---
    The information explosion
    from a bow-shaped island...
[03:05] ---
    ...wrapped the entire planet and
    surrounding outer space in no time.
[03:09] ---
    In its center was...
[03:11] ---
    Haruhi Suzumiya
[03:12] ---
    For three years, we have probed
    Haruhi Suzumiya from all angles.
[03:17] ---
    But to this day, her nature is unknown.
[03:19] ---
    Information explosion
    of unknown cause
[03:20] ---
    Even then, part of the thought entity...
[03:23] ---
    Analysis impossible
[03:23] ---
    ...still analyzes her,
    believing her the existing key...
[03:27] ---
    ...to the growth of human autonomy
    and them, astral creatures.
[03:32] ---
    As astral creatures...
[03:34] ---
    ...they can't communicate with organics,
    since they've no language.
[03:39] ---
    Humans have no means to
    relay concepts without language.
[03:43] ---
    So they created interfaces
    like me for humans.
[03:46] ---
    The Information Integration Thought Entity...
[03:49] ---
    ...can contact humans through me.
[03:53] ---
    She can latently evolve autonomy.
[03:57] ---
    She controls environmental
    information to her benefit.
[04:02] ---
    That is the reason I am here and you are here.
[04:06] ---
    Hold on.
[04:07] ---
    Honestly, I'm totally lost.
[04:10] ---
    Believe me.
[04:11] ---
    First of all, why me?
[04:13] ---
    No, I'll give in a bit...
[04:16] ---
    ...and trust this information,
    but why reveal yourself to me?
[04:21] ---
    Haruhi Suzumiya has chosen you.
    Knowingly or unknowingly...
[04:27] ---
    ...she affects things by turning
    will to absolute information.
[04:31] ---
    There's a reason you were chosen.
[04:33] ---
    No way.
[04:34] ---
    Yes way. You and she hold all the possibilities.
[04:38] ---
    You're serious?
[04:40] ---
    Of course.
[04:41] ---
    I thought the overly silent one
    had finally started to talk...
[04:45] ---
    ...and she goes on about insanities.
[04:48] ---
    I never thought that she was so out there...
[04:52] ---
    I'm sure Haruhi would be happy
    if you told her that stuff.
[04:56] ---
    I hate to say this,
    but I can't keep up with this talk.
[05:00] ---
    A majority of the thought entity understands...
[05:04] ---
    ...that if she realizes her worth
    and what her powers are...
[05:07] ---
    ...it would create unpredictable danger.
[05:11] ---
    We should observe for now.
[05:13] ---
    But I might tell Haruhi about what I just heard.
[05:17] ---
    She does not make much
    of the information you feed her.
[05:21] ---
    True.
[05:22] ---
    I am not the only interface
[05:24] ---
    the thought entity has on Earth.
[05:27] ---
    Part of its consciousness...
[05:30] ---
    ...is actively moving in order to
    observe information changes.
[05:34] ---
    You're the key to Haruhi Suzumiya.
[05:36] ---
    If there's any danger, it will come to you first.
[05:41] ---
    I can't deal with this.
[05:47] ---
    Humanoid inter-what?
[05:51] ---
    Aliens?
[05:54] ---
    She has weird daydreams
    since she reads this stuff all alone.
[05:59] ---
    I'm sure she doesn't talk to people
    in class and keeps to herself.
[06:04] ---
    Both she and Haruhi should
    just enjoy a normal school life.
[06:10] ---
    The much-awaited transfer's here!
[06:12] ---
    Isn't it great? A mysterious
    transfer student for sure!
[06:16] ---
    You know he's mysterious
    without meeting him?
[06:19] ---
    I said it before, right?
    Students that transfer during this period...
[06:23] ---
    ...are likely mysterious transfer students!
[06:26] ---
    Who gathered those statistics and when?
[06:29] ---
    If mysterious people are so likely,
    by now all of Japan...
[06:34] ---
    I'll go look!
[06:35] ---
    She really doesn't listen.
[06:37] ---
    Literature Club
[06:38] ---
    At the clubroom after school,
    Miss Asahina bravely returned after a day.
[06:43] ---
    I'm surprised that you felt
    up to coming back to this room.
[06:48] ---
    I mulled it over for a bit,
    but it really got on my mind.
[06:51] ---
    I've heard something similar before...
[06:54] ---
    What's on your mind?
[06:57] ---
    Nothing.
[07:03] ---
    Want to take my spot, Nagato?
[07:06] ---
    Nagato, have you ever played Othello?
[07:19] ---
    Hey, sorry for the wait!
[07:20] ---
    A freshman transferred to class 9
    today and can join! His name...
[07:25] ---
    Itsuki Koizumi. Nice to meet you.
[07:27] ---
    This is the SOS Brigade.
    I'm the leader, Haruhi Suzumiya.
[07:31] ---
    Those three are members ♪1, ♪2, and ♪3.
[07:34] ---
    By the way, you're ♪4.
[07:36] ---
    Everyone, let's get along with each other!
[07:40] ---
    I don't mind joining,
    but what is this club about?
[07:46] ---
    I'll tell you what the SOS Brigade
    is set on doing! That is...
[07:54] ---
    ...to find aliens, future men,
    and espers and play with them!
[08:00] ---
    I thought the entire world came to a stop.
[08:03] ---
    That's a lie...
[08:05] ---
    I was just recalling Haruhi's
    first words in the entrance ceremony.
[08:10] ---
    Oh, I see... Nothing less
    from you, Miss Suzumiya.
[08:16] ---
    What did he see?
[08:17] ---
    All right, I'll join.
    Best regards for our future.
[08:21] ---
    Hey, was that explanation enough?
    Was he really listening?
[08:25] ---
    I'm Koizumi. I just transferred,
    so there's much to learn.
[08:29] ---
    Guide me well.
[08:31] ---
    Oh, I'm...
[08:32] ---
    That's Kyon.
[08:33] ---
    The cute one there is Mikuru,
    and the one with glasses is Yuki.
[08:41] ---
    You all right?
[08:42] ---
    And we now have our five,
    so we're done setting up as a club.
[08:48] ---
    I'm fine.
[08:50] ---
    Yeah! It's time for
    the SOS Brigade to be unveiled!
[08:54] ---
    Do your best and fight as one!
[08:58] ---
    What veil?
[08:59] ---
    Are you fine with being added
    as a member on a whim, Nagato?
[09:04] ---
    Soon, the next day after school.
[09:06] ---
    Come with me.
[09:07] ---
    Hurry up and take those clothes off!
[09:16] ---
    Sorry.
[09:17] ---
    When you think moe, you think maid.
[09:20] ---
    Every school story needs one!
[09:23] ---
    What kind?
[09:25] ---
    Now, how about a photo to cherish this memory!
[09:29] ---
    Don't...
[09:30] ---
    Lower your chin. Hold the apron.
[09:33] ---
    Smile more!
[09:35] ---
    Kyon, take over.
[09:37] ---
    Mikuru, let's get a little bit more sexy...
[09:41] ---
    No, what are you...
[09:41] ---
    Come on, it's okay.
[09:44] ---
    What's good about it?
[09:46] ---
    Though it's strange
    to say that as I take pictures.
[09:50] ---
    Yuki, lend me your glasses.
[09:54] ---
    Glasses on.
[09:55] ---
    But what are these for?
[09:58] ---
    Yeah! Perfect!
[09:59] ---
    Lolita, great breasts,
    a maid, and glasses! Wonderful!
[10:03] ---
    No!
[10:05] ---
    Mikuru, when you're in this room,
    wear this outfit from now on.
[10:09] ---
    No way...
[10:11] ---
    What's this?
[10:12] ---
    Oh, good timing.
[10:14] ---
    Let's all play with Mikuru!
[10:15] ---
    That's enough.
[10:17] ---
    I'll pass. I fear the repercussions.
[10:21] ---
    Don't mind me. Go on.
[10:23] ---
    Stop her instead.
[10:25] ---
    Enough. Any further
    and you'll be breaking laws.
[10:29] ---
    What laws?
[10:31] ---
    Oh, well.
[10:32] ---
    I got lots of photos.
[10:35] ---
    Then right now, we'll start
    the SOS Brigade's first meeting!
[10:41] ---
    Till now, we've done all sorts of stuff.
[10:44] ---
    We've passed out flyers and made a homepage.
[10:47] ---
    Our popularity on campus is like
    eels swimming up a waterfall!
[10:52] ---
    What's so successful about
[10:52] ---
    So you could say that
[10:53] ---
    phase one was a big success!
[10:53] ---
    traumatizing Miss Asahina?
[10:57] ---
    But not one e-mail about
    strange phenomena has come...
[11:04] ---
    ...and no students have come
[11:07] ---
    It's not clear what we exactly do here anyway.
[11:07] ---
    to consult us about strange worries.
[11:11] ---
    We found out ourselves yesterday.
[11:11] ---
    It's said, "Good things come to those who wait."
[11:16] ---
    But it's no longer that era.
[11:19] ---
    Even if we have to dig holes all over the earth,
    we must find those good things.
[11:22] ---
    So let's search!
[11:24] ---
    For what?
[11:25] ---
    This world's mysteries!
[11:27] ---
    And so we're touring the city
    in search of mysterious phenomena.
[11:32] ---
    Kitaguchi Station at 9:00 next Saturday
    or face the death sentence.
[11:36] ---
    Death sentence?
[11:39] ---
    I don't want to waste my days off...
[11:43] ---
    You're late. You're fined!
[11:46] ---
    Haruhi's proposal was to split into
    two groups and search the city.
[11:50] ---
    Stay in touch via cell regarding strangeness.
[11:54] ---
    That's all.
[11:57] ---
    That's the split.
[11:58] ---
    I might be lucky today.
    If I can have a date with Miss Asahina...
[12:03] ---
    ...this place's bill is a small price to pay.
[12:07] ---
    Kyon, do you understand?
[12:09] ---
    This isn't a date. Do it seriously. Got it?
[12:12] ---
    I understand.
[12:15] ---
    It's seriously not a date.
    If you have fun, I'll kill you!
[12:19] ---
    With those words, Haruhi's team left
    to inspect the station's east side.
[12:24] ---
    Miss Asahina and I were told
    to search the west side...
[12:28] ---
    What should we do?
[12:30] ---
    Beats me.
[12:34] ---
    This is the first time I've walked like this.
[12:38] ---
    "Like this"?
[12:40] ---
    To walk alone with a boy...
[12:45] ---
    That's really unexpected.
    You never dated anyone before?
[12:49] ---
    Not at all.
[12:51] ---
    But don't you get
    asked out often, Miss Asahina?
[12:57] ---
    But I can't. I'm forbidden to date anyone.
[13:01] ---
    At least, not in this...
[13:08] ---
    Kyon, I'd like to discuss something.
[13:12] ---
    Miss Asahina, unable to talk for a while...
[13:15] ---
    ...finally broke up her sentences and said:
[13:18] ---
    You may not believe me...
[13:21] ---
    ...but I'm not someone from this age.
[13:24] ---
    I came from the far future.
[13:27] ---
    I can't say which time period
    or time plane I'm from.
[13:31] ---
    There are restrictions on telling people...
[13:34] ---
    Time is not something
    that is a continuous stream.
[13:39] ---
    Think about animation.
[13:41] ---
    It seems like it's in motion...
[13:44] ---
    ...but it's a series of still frames...
[13:47] ---
    The gap is infinitely close to zero though.
[13:51] ---
    Time warp is moving along
    the pile of third-dimension time planes.
[13:55] ---
    I'm from the future, so for this time plane...
[13:59] ---
    ...I'm like an extra picture
    drawn in the middle of a flipbook.
[14:03] ---
    What is it this time?
[14:05] ---
    Three years ago,
    a large time oscillation was detected.
[14:10] ---
    Three years ago from the current time.
[14:13] ---
    We came to the past to check
    and were surprised.
[14:16] ---
    We couldn't go further back
    in time no matter how we tried.
[14:21] ---
    We concluded there was
    a large time gap between the planes.
[14:26] ---
    We found the cause quite recently.
[14:29] ---
    Recently in the future I'm from.
[14:32] ---
    And the cause?
[14:34] ---
    Miss Suzumiya.
[14:35] ---
    This again?
[14:36] ---
    She was in the time distortion's center.
[14:39] ---
    I can't explain any more
    since it's classified information.
[14:43] ---
    But that Miss Suzumiya
    shut the path to the past is certain.
[14:47] ---
    I can't think that
    Haruhi could do such a thing.
[14:51] ---
    We're baffled too.
[14:53] ---
    Miss Suzumiya doesn't realize
    she's the time oscillation's cause.
[14:57] ---
    I was sent to monitor...
[14:59] ---
    ...whether there will be any new
    time anomalies near Miss Suzumiya.
[15:04] ---
    Well, sort of like a watchdog.
[15:07] ---
    I'm sure you can't believe such a thing.
[15:10] ---
    It's not that... But why are you telling me this?
[15:13] ---
    Because you were chosen by her.
[15:16] ---
    The details are classified...
[15:19] ---
    Most likely though,
    you're someone important to her.
[15:23] ---
    Every hand raised, every step is for a reason.
[15:26] ---
    And Nagato and Koizumi?
[15:28] ---
    They're in positions similar to mine.
[15:31] ---
    I never thought Miss Suzumiya
    could gather us all though.
[15:36] ---
    Do you know what they are?
[15:40] ---
    Classified information.
[15:42] ---
    What'll happen to Haruhi?
[15:44] ---
    Classified information.
[15:46] ---
    I'd think you'd know
    as one from the future.
[15:49] ---
    Classified information.
[15:51] ---
    Why don't you tell Haruhi directly?
[15:54] ---
    Classified information.
[15:58] ---
    Sorry, I'm not authorized to say anything now.
[16:02] ---
    You don't have to believe it,
    but I just wanted you to know.
[16:07] ---
    I heard a similar line from
    someone the other day.
[16:11] ---
    Sorry for bringing this up so suddenly.
[16:14] ---
    I don't really mind that.
[16:16] ---
    A person from the future after an alien?
[16:20] ---
    What's going on?
[16:21] ---
    If anyone can believe what I heard
    with a nod, please contact me.
[16:26] ---
    Take my place.
[16:28] ---
    Miss Asahina...
[16:29] ---
    Yes?
[16:30] ---
    Can we hold off?
[16:31] ---
    Putting aside whether or not
    to believe it... Just hold off?
[16:36] ---
    Sure.
[16:37] ---
    Can I ask one thing?
[16:39] ---
    What is it?
[16:41] ---
    Please tell me your real age.
[16:45] ---
    Classified information.
[16:47] ---
    Afterwards, Haruhi suddenly called my cell...
[16:51] ---
    ...and we met back at noon.
[16:53] ---
    Anything?
[16:54] ---
    Nothing.
[16:55] ---
    Were you really looking?
    You weren't just wandering, Mikuru?
[17:00] ---
    Did you find anything?
[17:03] ---
    At lunch, Haruhi said she wanted
    to split up in groups again.
[17:08] ---
    Unmarked again.
[17:15] ---
    We'll meet at the station at 4:00.
    Find something this time!
[17:21] ---
    We split up to search
    the north and south ends.
[17:25] ---
    We were assigned to the south side.
[17:27] ---
    About your story before...
[17:29] ---
    What?
[17:30] ---
    Somehow, I started feeling
    like it's all right to believe it.
[17:34] ---
    I see.
[17:36] ---
    If I were to pass time with her,
[17:38] ---
    this is about the only place.
[17:39] ---
    Library
[17:42] ---
    Oh, brother.
[17:53] ---
    What time do you think it is, idiot?
[17:55] ---
    Sorry, I just woke up.
[17:58] ---
    You stupid idiot!
[18:01] ---
    Was it 4:00?
[18:02] ---
    Get back here now! You have 30 seconds!
[18:06] ---
    Labor awaited.
[18:08] ---
    As Nagato wouldn't move without the book...
[18:11] ---
    ...I had a library card made for her.
[18:13] ---
    While ignoring Haruhi's incessant calls.
[18:17] ---
    You're late. You're fined!
[18:19] ---
    With no results in the end...
[18:21] ---
    ...this day's activities ended
    a frivolous use of time and money.
[18:26] ---
    Before it did, Miss Asahina...
[18:29] ---
    Thanks for listening.
[18:31] ---
    Whispering in my ear didn't feel all that bad.
[18:35] ---
    What were you doing today?
[18:37] ---
    What about you, huh?
[18:40] ---
    Were you able to find something interesting?
[18:43] ---
    The opponent isn't so unguarded
    that you'd find it in a day.
[18:49] ---
    We'll go over today's activities
    at school in two days.
[18:53] ---
    With those words, she left.
[18:58] ---
    Impounded
[18:59] ---
    Is this a dream?
[19:02] ---
    Monday. As I was sweating from
    the pre-rainy-season humidity...
[19:07] ---
    ...Haruhi came in right before the bell.
[19:10] ---
    Fan me too.
[19:11] ---
    Do it yourself.
[19:13] ---
    Suzumiya, you know
    the "blue bird of happiness" story?
[19:17] ---
    What of it?
[19:19] ---
    Well, it's nothing...
[19:21] ---
    Then don't ask.
[19:24] ---
    After being showered by Haruhi's
    unpleasant downer aura all day...
[19:29] ---
    ...I fled to the clubroom wing
    like a wild rat sensing a brush fire.
[19:34] ---
    I wanted to talk to someone.
[19:36] ---
    Koizumi, don't you have something
    to tell me about Suzumiya too?
[19:44] ---
    "Too" implies the other two
    already approached you about it.
[19:48] ---
    Yeah.
[19:49] ---
    With how much?
[19:51] ---
    Suzumiya isn't your ordinary person.
[19:54] ---
    Then that makes the story easy,
    as that is the case.
[19:58] ---
    Let's hear what you are first.
[20:00] ---
    As you may suspect, I am an esper.
[20:03] ---
    It's better to call it that for now.
[20:07] ---
    I really didn't plan on the transfer,
    but circumstances changed.
[20:12] ---
    Those two standing with
    Haruhi Suzumiya so easily...
[20:16] ---
    ...was unexpected.
[20:18] ---
    I'm sure I'll have a chance
    to tell you the details.
[20:21] ---
    A picture's worth a thousand words.
[20:23] ---
    I'd like to show you something,
    so I'll briefly summarize now.
[20:29] ---
    My "organization" has other espers as well.
[20:32] ---
    Actually, several agents
    have infiltrated this school.
[20:36] ---
    And we've watched Miss Suzumiya
    since its founding three years ago.
[20:41] ---
    Everything started three years ago.
    Something happened then.
[20:45] ---
    That was also when my powers
    came alive, so-called esper ones.
[20:49] ---
    How's Haruhi involved with that?
[20:53] ---
    Actually, my superiors believe
    this world is something like a dream...
[20:57] ---
    ...that some entity is showing us.
[21:00] ---
    And since it's all a dream, it's child's play...
[21:04] ---
    ...for that entity to create and
    change this world we call reality.
[21:09] ---
    We know the entity that can do that.
[21:11] ---
    That's Haruhi?
[21:13] ---
    People have defined "God" as such an entity.
[21:17] ---
    You've even been turned into God, Haruhi.
[21:21] ---
    Think about it.
[21:22] ---
    The existence of espers,
    Mikuru Asahina, and Yuki Nagato...
[21:28] ---
    Would we all coincidentally
    appear so as to group together?
[21:32] ---
    It's because Miss Suzumiya wished it so.
[21:35] ---
    Three years ago.
[21:37] ---
    You're saying she remade
    this universe three years ago?
[21:40] ---
    It's better to say the world started
    three years ago instead.
[21:46] ---
    Well, this is all just a hypothesis of ours.
[21:50] ---
    Well, okay. So what do you want with Haruhi?
[21:54] ---
    To prevent the world from
    being destroyed and remade...
[21:58] ---
    ...simply because we made God upset.
[22:01] ---
    I'm fond of this world to a certain extent.
[22:04] ---
    Why not ask her directly about this?
[22:07] ---
    There are members that assert we should do so.
[22:11] ---
    And others say to stimulate her further.
[22:14] ---
    But the consensus is we can't
    easily reach out and get involved.
[22:19] ---
    She doesn't realize her true powers yet.
[22:23] ---
    Then it's better she lives a peaceful life
    without realizing her potential.
[22:29] ---
    "Let sleeping gods lie," huh?
[22:31] ---
    That's correct.
[22:33] ---
    Maybe you're the ones
    that keep having dreams?
[22:37] ---
    Yes, that's also a possibility.
[22:39] ---
    But we're currently acting
    based on the worst-case scenario.
[22:45] ---
    Then as a test... You're an esper, right?
[22:48] ---
    Show me some of your power.
    I'll believe your words then.
[22:53] ---
    Like turning this coffee hot again.
[22:56] ---
    My powers are slightly different.
[23:00] ---
    Besides, I normally don't have any powers.
[23:03] ---
    I can first use my powers
    when all sorts of conditions pile up.
[23:07] ---
    As I said, I'll have a chance
    to show you at some point.
[23:12] ---
    Sorry for talking so long.
[23:14] ---
    That's it for today. Excuse me.
[23:20] ---
    Oh, right.
[23:21] ---
    The biggest mystery is you.
[23:23] ---
    I felt it rude, but I've done
    all sorts of research about you.
[23:27] ---
    I guarantee...
[23:29] ---
    ...that you are a normal human.
[23:36] ---
    Excuse me!
[23:42] ---
    You don't have to foolishly
    follow Haruhi's orders like that...
[23:54] ---
    In the end,
[23:56] ---
    Haruhi never showed up to the clubroom that day.
[23:56] ---
    Brigade Leader
[24:07] ---
    If we figured out the globe
    like we would a riddle...
[24:12] ---
    ...we could all go anywhere together.
[24:16] ---
    To the end of time, BOOOON!
[24:18] ---
    This feeling that is a warp and a loop.
[24:23] ---
    With an imagination that engulfs
    anything and everything, let's play.
[24:29] ---
    Something on one sunny day,
    more fun than any magic possible...
[24:34] ---
    ...endlessly pours down. It's not impossible.
[24:40] ---
    When we meet again tomorrow,
    we're all humming as we smile.
[24:45] ---
    Let's gather happiness. Such a thing is so easy.
[24:51] ---
    Chase after me. Try to catch it.
[24:56] ---
    A big dream... You like dreams, right?

E4 - The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Part Four
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:29] ---
    Are you all right?
    Should I take you to the nurse's office?
[00:37] ---
    Good morning. It looks like
    she's not feeling so well...
[00:41] ---
    Please.
[00:47] ---
    Why didn't you come yesterday?
[00:49] ---
    Weren't we going to review?
[00:52] ---
    Shut up. I held a review session by myself.
[00:56] ---
    Upon asking, she said
    she walked the entire course...
[01:00] ---
    ...that her trio did Saturday
    alone after school yesterday.
[01:03] ---
    It's hot, and I'm tired.
    When do we switch uniforms?
[01:07] ---
    I want the summer one now.
[01:09] ---
    Suzumiya, I may have said this before...
[01:12] ---
    ...but why not quit looking for
    unfindable mysteries...
[01:15] ---
    ...and try recreation
    fit for a normal high schooler?
[01:19] ---
    What's fit for a high schooler?
[01:21] ---
    How about you find a good guy
    and tour the city with him?
[01:25] ---
    A date kills two birds with one stone.
[01:28] ---
    Hmph, I don't care for men at all.
[01:31] ---
    Romantic feelings are just a passing phase.
[01:34] ---
    Just a type of mental illness.
[01:36] ---
    Even I get into those
    sorts of moods every so often.
[01:41] ---
    I'm a healthy girl, so sometimes
    I'm at a loss with my body.
[01:46] ---
    But I'm not an idiot with troubles
    with momentary delusions.
[01:52] ---
    Besides, if I got crazy over boys,
    what about the SOS Brigade?
[01:57] ---
    I just created it.
[01:59] ---
    Just turn it into a random recreational club.
[02:02] ---
    You'd get more people.
[02:04] ---
    No way! I created it
    because those things were boring.
[02:08] ---
    A moe character and
    mysterious transfer student joined...
[02:12] ---
    Why is it nothing is happening?
[02:15] ---
    Why can't some flashy incident or two happen?
[02:19] ---
    Don't make such troubling statements.
[02:22] ---
    But you're right...
[02:24] ---
    An incident that makes everyday life
    more fun might be a bit nice.
[02:33] ---
    Seeing her this beat was a first,
    but her sullen face was rather cute.
[02:38] ---
    I wonder if she's lovesick or something?
[02:41] ---
    There's no way.
[02:43] ---
    Getting her mind up for love and
    the flashy incidents she hopes for...
[02:48] ---
    ...shouldn't occur so easily in this world.
[02:51] ---
    But the flashy incident had already
    quietly started at this time...
[02:58] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
[03:07] ---
    During the morning, as I talked to Haruhi...
[03:08] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya IV
[03:10] ---
    ...I was toying around
    with an item of pending inquiry.
[03:16] ---
    After school, come by class 5
    after all students leave.
[03:19] ---
    Without an enemy,
    Soga Mako became immensely arrogant.
[03:23] ---
    Something like this happened before.
[03:30] ---
    Yo.
[03:36] ---
    I'll wait at the park across
    Kouyouen Station at 7.
[03:38] ---
    But this was clearly not Nagato's handwriting.
[03:42] ---
    Besides, she's not so meek
    as to put a message in a shoebox.
[03:46] ---
    Could it be Miss Asahina?
[03:49] ---
    I don't think so. I can't believe
    she'd give a message...
[03:52] ---
    ...with no specific time,
    written on a torn memo page.
[03:57] ---
    It's hot!
[03:57] ---
    Haruhi? Even more out there.
[04:00] ---
    If it were, she'd drag me to
    the staircase and talk like before.
[04:04] ---
    I rule out Koizumi for similar reasons.
[04:07] ---
    I'd like AC in this room.
[04:09] ---
    I doubt it's a love letter, but it's
    clearly a note calling me somewhere.
[04:15] ---
    No, it might be a giant joke
    by Taniguchi and Kunikida.
[04:19] ---
    Mikuru Asahina's Charming Photo Gallery
[04:19] ---
    Right, that's likeliest, but if so...
[04:23] ---
    ...I think they'd be more detail-oriented...
[04:26] ---
    Wait, what's that?!
[04:28] ---
    What? It's a photo. Charming photos of Mikuru.
[04:31] ---
    I see that. What's it for?
[04:34] ---
    I'll put it on the top page of our website.
[04:37] ---
    Floods of "Wonders of
    the World" e-mails will come.
[04:40] ---
    We'll get tens of thousands of hits,
    and the counter will roll high!
[04:45] ---
    Are there enough digits?
[04:47] ---
    Wait... Hey!
    What are you doing, stupid Kyon?!
[04:51] ---
    Enough nonsense.
[04:53] ---
    If such a lewd photo of her in
    a maid outfit and "charming" pose...
[04:57] ---
    ...were sent out to the whole world,
    I'm sure she'd faint on the spot.
[05:02] ---
    Haruhi glared coldly as I feverishly
    convinced her (for once)...
[05:07] ---
    ...but I don't know if she
    got the danger of info on the Net...
[05:11] ---
    ...that points out a person in real life.
[05:14] ---
    I get it.
[05:15] ---
    Empty Recycle Bin
[05:15] ---
    She reluctantly agreed to delete it.
[05:18] ---
    This may have been the chance
    to delete all the images...
[05:22] ---
    ...but that's a bit of a shame.
[05:27] ---
    Now.
[05:30] ---
    I'm going home for today.
[05:38] ---
    Oh, I'm sorry.
[05:44] ---
    Is something wrong?
[05:45] ---
    It's nothing. The evil conspiracy
    has been removed.
[05:51] ---
    Doing nothing but
    playing Othello with Miss Asahina...
[05:54] ---
    ...Koizumi came in with the usual smile.
[05:57] ---
    I've got work, so I have to leave early.
[06:01] ---
    I wonder what kind of job he's got.
[06:07] ---
    I'm going to change, so go on ahead.
[06:09] ---
    I took that chance
    and bolted out of the clubroom.
[06:19] ---
    Seeing the person standing there,
    I was caught quite off guard.
[06:27] ---
    Why don't you come in?
[06:29] ---
    It was you?
[06:32] ---
    Yes. Unexpected, right?
[06:35] ---
    What do you want?
[06:36] ---
    It's true I have something on my mind.
[06:39] ---
    There's something that I want to ask.
[06:42] ---
    About Miss Suzumiya...
    What do you think of her?
[06:46] ---
    Sheesh, she's into Suzumiya too...
[06:49] ---
    People say it's better to try
    and regret than to regret not trying.
[06:55] ---
    What do you think of that?
[06:58] ---
    I'm not sure it's said often,
    but it's straightforward.
[07:01] ---
    Then let's say you know you'll be
    dirt poor with the status quo...
[07:08] ---
    ...but you don't know
    how you can make things better.
[07:12] ---
    What would you do?
[07:14] ---
    What's that? Are you talking
    about Japan's economy?
[07:18] ---
    Wouldn't you think about
    changing something, anything?
[07:21] ---
    Nothing will change staying as is.
[07:24] ---
    Well, maybe there is something.
[07:26] ---
    You think so, right?
[07:29] ---
    But people above you
    have stubborn minds and can't agree.
[07:33] ---
    But the site can't let it.
[07:35] ---
    If you twiddle your thumbs,
    things look like they'll get worse.
[07:39] ---
    If so, the people on-site have
    the right to force a change, right?
[07:44] ---
    What's she saying? Is this Candid Camera?
[07:47] ---
    Is Taniguchi hiding in the supply cabinet?
[07:50] ---
    I'm fed up with observing
    something that's unchanging.
[07:54] ---
    So I'll kill you and
    see Haruhi Suzumiya's reaction.
[08:04] ---
    What? What?
[08:05] ---
    What is this? No, wait, what's this situation?
[08:08] ---
    Why does she have to point a knife at me?
[08:11] ---
    Wait, what did she say?
[08:13] ---
    Kill me? W-h-y? Why?
[08:15] ---
    Stop joking! This is really dangerous!
[08:18] ---
    Even if that wasn't real, I'd be scared!
[08:20] ---
    You think it's a joke?
[08:24] ---
    You don't want to die? To be killed?
[08:27] ---
    I really don't understand
    the concept of an organic's death.
[08:31] ---
    I don't get this and can't laugh.
[08:34] ---
    That doesn't matter.
    Put that dangerous thing somewhere else!
[08:37] ---
    That's impossible.
    Because I really want you to die.
[08:47] ---
    It's useless.
[08:49] ---
    This area is now under my information control.
[08:52] ---
    Nothing can enter or leave.
[08:55] ---
    I don't get this at all.
[08:57] ---
    If someone does,
    get here and explain it to me!
[09:00] ---
    Please give up.
    The result will be the same in the end.
[09:05] ---
    What are you?
[09:16] ---
    Useless... I told you.
[09:18] ---
    Everything in this classroom
    moves according to my will now.
[09:22] ---
    Wait, wait, wait... What is this?
[09:24] ---
    Kill me and see Haruhi's reaction?
[09:27] ---
    Haruhi again? She sure is popular.
[09:29] ---
    If so, why do I have to die?
[09:32] ---
    I should have done this from the beginning.
[09:37] ---
    I can't move. Does this count? It's unfair!
[09:39] ---
    If you die, Haruhi Suzumiya
    is sure to cause some action.
[09:44] ---
    A giant information explosion
    will likely be observed.
[09:47] ---
    A once-in-a-lifetime chance.
[09:49] ---
    Like I know!
[09:52] ---
    Now, die.
[09:58] ---
    That hurts, damn it!
[10:00] ---
    Wait... huh?
[10:01] ---
    My body moves...
[10:05] ---
    Nagato?
[10:11] ---
    Each and every program has a fault.
[10:14] ---
    The space closure's sides
    and information shutdown are faulty.
[10:17] ---
    That is why I noticed and am allowed inside.
[10:20] ---
    You're interfering?
[10:22] ---
    If this human is murdered,
    Haruhi Suzumiya is sure to move.
[10:26] ---
    That's the only way to gain any more data.
[10:29] ---
    You are my backup unit.
    You are not permitted to act alone.
[10:34] ---
    You must obey me.
[10:36] ---
    If I refuse?
[10:37] ---
    I will release the binding.
[10:39] ---
    Would you like to try?
    In here, I have the upper hand.
[10:43] ---
    I control the information in this space.
[10:46] ---
    I will file for the release
    of the information binding.
[10:55] ---
    At this point, I thought,
    "Man, these two really aren't human."
[11:07] ---
    Don't leave my side.
[11:10] ---
    Nagato
[11:13] ---
    You can't defeat me here.
[11:17] ---
    Personal name Ryoko Asakura is an enemy.
[11:20] ---
    I release any bindings held on organics.
[11:24] ---
    Stopping your functions will come first.
[11:27] ---
    What are you...
[11:30] ---
    How long will you last, protecting him?
[11:49] ---
    Nagato!
[11:51] ---
    You don't have to move.
[11:53] ---
    I'm fine.
[11:55] ---
    No, you don't look fine at all...
[12:03] ---
    With that damage, you've no luxury
    to meddle with other data.
[12:08] ---
    Then, here's your final blow.
[12:10] ---
    Die.
[12:19] ---
    It's over.
[12:20] ---
    What's that? Your "life" of some three years?
[12:24] ---
    No.
[12:25] ---
    Commence release of information binding.
[12:34] ---
    Impossible...
[12:35] ---
    You are a superior one.
[12:37] ---
    That was why it took this long
    to crack this time-space program.
[12:42] ---
    But it's over now.
[12:44] ---
    You programmed a detonation
    element in your cracking.
[12:48] ---
    I did feel that you were too weak.
[12:51] ---
    You had already spent all your
    attack information beforehand.
[12:54] ---
    Oh, what a shame.
[12:56] ---
    In the end, I was nothing more
    than a backup unit.
[12:59] ---
    I thought this would be
    a good chance to affect our stalemate.
[13:05] ---
    I lose. Aren't you happy you get to live on?
[13:08] ---
    But be careful.
[13:10] ---
    The Information Integration Thought Entity...
[13:12] ---
    ...has many contradictory consciences.
[13:15] ---
    Another radical like me might arrive someday.
[13:19] ---
    Or Miss Nagato's puppet master
    may have a change of heart.
[13:23] ---
    Until then, be happy with Miss Suzumiya.
[13:26] ---
    See you!
[13:30] ---
    Hey, Nagato!
[13:32] ---
    Hang on! I'll get an ambulance!
[13:34] ---
    It's all right.
    The physical injuries are not much.
[13:37] ---
    I need to correct
    this space first and foremost...
[13:41] ---
    That is, remove the impurities
    and recreate the classroom.
[13:53] ---
    You're really all right?
[13:55] ---
    The processing power
    is handling and overwriting data...
[13:59] ---
    ...so this interface's re-creation will come later.
[14:03] ---
    It's going now.
[14:05] ---
    What's wrong?
[14:09] ---
    I forgot to re-create the glasses.
[14:11] ---
    I think you're cuter without them.
[14:14] ---
    I don't have a "glasses fixation."
[14:16] ---
    What's a "glasses fixation"?
[14:18] ---
    Nothing. Just a figment of your imagination.
[14:22] ---
    I see.
[14:23] ---
    Hey...
[14:25] ---
    I forgot... I forgot...
[14:29] ---
    Father, if you saw this still frame...
[14:31] ---
    ...our position isn't too far
    from going down for some "activity."
[14:35] ---
    Sorry.
[14:36] ---
    Take your time!
[14:38] ---
    An interesting person.
[14:41] ---
    What'll I do?
[14:43] ---
    Leave it to me.
    I'm adept at controlling information.
[14:47] ---
    I'll have Ryoko Asakura transfer out.
[14:49] ---
    That?
[14:50] ---
    No time for snide remarks.
[14:52] ---
    Thinking about it, didn't I have
    an extraordinary experience?
[14:56] ---
    Whether I believe Nagato's loony story...
[14:59] ---
    ...those incomprehensible delusions,
    isn't the problem.
[15:03] ---
    What just happened showed me
    how serious danger really felt.
[15:07] ---
    Five seconds from death.
[15:09] ---
    At this rate, I'll be convinced
    that Nagato is an alien...
[15:12] ---
    ...or involved in some way with them.
[15:17] ---
    Well, about Miss Asakura...
[15:17] ---
    The next day, Ryoko Asakura
[15:19] ---
    Her father's job obligations came up...
[15:19] ---
    was nowhere to be found in class.
[15:22] ---
    I think it was sudden too.
    She ended up transferring out.
[15:29] ---
    Kyon, this is an incident.
[15:31] ---
    Haruhi, all full of energy again,
    had a glimmer in her eye.
[15:35] ---
    What now? Tell the truth?
[15:39] ---
    I can't. Or rather, I don't want to.
[15:42] ---
    I'd like to think everything
    was just a hallucination.
[15:46] ---
    I thought a mysterious transfer came...
[15:48] ---
    ...and now a girl transferred for no reason.
[15:51] ---
    We need to investigate.
[15:54] ---
    I don't want any more extra work.
[15:56] ---
    Even without this, I'm cradling
    another item of pending inquiry.
[16:00] ---
    What's that?
[16:02] ---
    Nothing.
[16:03] ---
    The inquiry was in the shape of an envelope...
[16:06] ---
    ...inside my shoebox,
    just like yesterday's note.
[16:09] ---
    What's up? Is putting letters
    into people's shoeboxes a fad now?
[16:13] ---
    But it's different this time around.
[16:16] ---
    Mikuru Asahina
[16:18] ---
    During lunch, I'll be waiting in the clubroom.
    - Mikuru
[16:19] ---
    I don't want to saunter there
[16:21] ---
    and face another life-or-death situation.
[16:24] ---
    But there's no way I wouldn't go.
[16:27] ---
    Because it was Miss Asahina calling.
[16:30] ---
    There's no proof she was the letter's sender...
[16:34] ---
    ...but I had no doubt.
[16:36] ---
    She's the type that'd be so roundabout...
[16:39] ---
    ...and the sight of rushing a pen
    over this cute letter set fits her.
[16:45] ---
    Besides, Nagato will be there now too.
[16:48] ---
    Well, I'm sure it'll work out.
[16:51] ---
    Oh, come in!
[16:54] ---
    Kyon...
[16:57] ---
    It's been a while.
[16:59] ---
    She looks a lot like Miss Asahina.
[17:02] ---
    But it wasn't Miss Asahina.
[17:05] ---
    Um, are you Miss Asahina's older sister?
[17:10] ---
    I am me.
[17:11] ---
    The real Mikuru Asahina.
[17:13] ---
    But I come from a future
    further down than the me you know.
[17:18] ---
    I wanted to see you.
[17:20] ---
    Oh, you don't trust me, do you?
[17:23] ---
    I'll prove it.
[17:24] ---
    See? I have a star-shaped mole here.
[17:28] ---
    It's not fake. Want to touch it?
[17:31] ---
    Huge!
[17:31] ---
    Believe me now?
[17:33] ---
    Believe it or not, I don't remember
    where Miss Asahina's moles are.
[17:37] ---
    I only saw such iffy parts
    when she cosplayed as a bunny girl...
[17:42] ---
    ...and when I peeked in on her changing.
[17:45] ---
    In any case, I hadn't observed any such details.
[17:49] ---
    Oh? But it was you who said I had a mole here.
[17:53] ---
    I didn't realize myself.
[17:57] ---
    Oh no, just now...
[17:59] ---
    Oh, that's right. This isn't yet...
[18:02] ---
    What now?
[18:04] ---
    It's a huge misunderstanding... I'm sorry!
[18:07] ---
    Forget that!
[18:08] ---
    So she says...
[18:10] ---
    All right. I believe you anyway.
[18:13] ---
    I'm in a mind-set now
    that can believe almost anything.
[18:18] ---
    That means there are two
    Miss Asahinas in this time?
[18:24] ---
    Right, the past one...
[18:26] ---
    From my view, my past self...
[18:29] ---
    ...is eating lunch with
    classmates in the classroom now.
[18:33] ---
    I just wanted to say one thing to you...
[18:35] ---
    ...so I asked the impossible
    and came to this time again.
[18:39] ---
    I had Miss Nagato step out.
[18:42] ---
    Miss Asahina, you know about Nagato?
[18:45] ---
    Sorry, classified information.
[18:48] ---
    Oh, it's been a while since I said that.
[18:51] ---
    I just heard it a few days ago.
[18:57] ---
    I can't stay in this time
    much longer, so I'll be brief.
[19:02] ---
    Do you know about Snow White?
[19:04] ---
    Of course I do...
[19:06] ---
    Whenever you face
    a troubling situation from now on...
[19:10] ---
    ...I want you to recall that.
[19:12] ---
    Seven dwarves, wicked witch,
    poisoned apple, and all that?
[19:16] ---
    Right. The story of Snow White.
[19:19] ---
    I just had a troubling situation yesterday.
[19:22] ---
    That's not the one. It's more...
[19:25] ---
    Let's see... I can't give any details...
[19:28] ---
    ...but when the time comes,
    Miss Suzumiya should be by you.
[19:32] ---
    Me and Haruhi? When? Where?
[19:35] ---
    Miss Suzumiya might not
    consider it troublesome...
[19:41] ---
    ...but it's something troubling,
    not just for you but all of us.
[19:46] ---
    I guess giving me the details...
    is out of the question.
[19:50] ---
    I'm sorry.
[19:52] ---
    But I thought I'd give you a hint.
    This is the best that I can do.
[19:56] ---
    And that's Snow White?
[19:59] ---
    Right.
[20:01] ---
    I'll keep that in mind.
[20:09] ---
    I'm amazed I could wear this.
    Now it would be impossible.
[20:14] ---
    What other kinds of outfits
    did Haruhi make you wear?
[20:18] ---
    That's a secret. It's embarrassing.
[20:21] ---
    Besides, won't you find out in due time?
[20:24] ---
    Well, I'll be on my way now.
[20:30] ---
    One last thing...
[20:33] ---
    Don't be too friendly with me.
[20:36] ---
    Can you tell me one thing?
[20:40] ---
    Miss Asahina...
[20:41] ---
    ...how old are you now?
[20:44] ---
    Classified information.
[20:46] ---
    That was a smile that'd make
    anyone who saw it fall in love.
[20:54] ---
    It's been a while.
[20:55] ---
    In other words,
    she's playing a high schooler now...
[20:59] ---
    ...and will return to her original era
    in the not-so-distant future.
[21:03] ---
    How much time had elapsed for her?
[21:07] ---
    From how she matured,
    five or maybe three years?
[21:10] ---
    Women change drastically once they graduate.
[21:14] ---
    I'm hungry. I'd better get back.
[21:17] ---
    Oh, brother.
[21:19] ---
    Yo, did you pass by someone
    who looked awfully like Miss Asahina?
[21:24] ---
    Mikuru Asahina from another time.
    We met this morning.
[21:28] ---
    Can you time travel or something too?
[21:31] ---
    That Information thing too?
[21:33] ---
    I cannot, but traveling through time
    is not that difficult to do.
[21:38] ---
    I'd sure like some tips.
[21:41] ---
    Words cannot explain the concept,
    nor can you understand it.
[21:45] ---
    Is that so?
[21:46] ---
    It is.
[21:47] ---
    Then I'm at a loss.
[21:49] ---
    A loss.
[21:50] ---
    Nagato, thanks for yesterday.
[21:53] ---
    Unnecessary.
[21:54] ---
    Ryoko Asakura's deviant behavior
    was my responsibility and failure.
[22:00] ---
    I think you're better without glasses after all.
[22:08] ---
    Where were you? I thought you'd
    be back and waited without eating!
[22:12] ---
    Say it like a childhood friend
    hiding chagrin with anger.
[22:16] ---
    Enough nonsense. Over here now!
[22:18] ---
    I heard Okabe in the teacher's lounge...
[22:20] ---
    ...saying no one knew
    about Asakura till this morning.
[22:24] ---
    Someone claiming to be
    her father called early...
[22:27] ---
    ...saying he was suddenly moving. And where?
[22:30] ---
    Canada! Can that be? It's very fishy!
[22:33] ---
    Yeah?
[22:34] ---
    So I asked to get a contact address.
[22:37] ---
    And guess what? They didn't know that either.
[22:40] ---
    You at least give a forwarding address.
    Something's behind this!
[22:44] ---
    No way.
[22:45] ---
    I kept on grilling
    till I got her old address.
[22:48] ---
    I'll go there after school.
[22:51] ---
    I may find something out!
[22:54] ---
    As usual, she never listens.
    Well, I won't stop her.
[22:59] ---
    They're her vain efforts, not mine.
[23:01] ---
    You're coming.
[23:02] ---
    Why?
[23:06] ---
    You call yourself a member of the SOS Brigade?
[23:10] ---
    Today's SOS Brigade: Do as you please.
    - Haruhi
[23:20] ---
    If we figured out the globe
    like we would a riddle...
[23:26] ---
    ...we could all go anywhere together.
[23:29] ---
    To the end of time, BOOOON!
[23:32] ---
    This feeling that is a warp and a loop.
[23:36] ---
    With an imagination that engulfs
    anything and everything, let's play.
[23:42] ---
    Something on one sunny day,
    more fun than any magic possible...
[23:50] ---
    ...endlessly pours down. It's not impossible.
[23:56] ---
    When we meet again tomorrow,
    we're all humming as we smile.
[24:01] ---
    Let's gather happiness. Such a thing is so easy.
[24:06] ---
    Chase after me. Try to catch it.
[24:11] ---
    A big dream... You like dreams, right?

E5 - The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Part Five
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:23] ---
    Walking home shoulder to shoulder with a girl...
[00:27] ---
    If I said I never dreamt of
    such a teen-drama-series scene...
[00:32] ---
    ...I'd be lying.
[00:34] ---
    I'm making that dream a reality now...
[00:38] ---
    ...but why is it that I'm not a bit happy?
[00:41] ---
    That way. Did you say something?
[00:43] ---
    No, nothing.
[00:51] ---
    We'll arrive at Nagato's condo pretty soon.
[00:59] ---
    The answer is always in my heart.
[01:06] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
[01:14] ---
    I don't know why, but I chose you.
[01:20] ---
    It won't stop now. Mr. Destiny deemed it so.
[01:26] ---
    I believe it's boring to just mimic.
[01:32] ---
    You'll be right, so I'll do what I feel as I feel it.
[01:41] ---
    It's an adventure, right, right?
[01:43] ---
    In this world where truth becomes fiction.
[01:48] ---
    We become stronger
    because we have dreams...
[01:52] ---
    ...not for the sake of someone.
[01:55] ---
    Please come with me.
[01:58] ---
    See me and my endlessly free self.
[02:04] ---
    Today's present that becomes
    tomorrow's past is the miracle.
[02:10] ---
    Let's grab the future.
[02:16] ---
    I believe you...
[02:25] ---
    Asakura apparently lived in room 505 here.
[02:26] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya V
[02:28] ---
    I see.
[02:30] ---
    What's that?
[02:31] ---
    Oh, nothing.
[02:33] ---
    By the way, how'll we get in?
[02:36] ---
    You know the numbers?
[02:38] ---
    I don't. These are tests of endurance.
[02:49] ---
    Wha--?
[02:52] ---
    Hurry up over here.
[02:54] ---
    In any case, it's totally strange.
[02:57] ---
    A sudden transfer to Canada,
    and no one knows the new address.
[03:01] ---
    You said that.
[03:02] ---
    There are stranger things.
[03:05] ---
    Asakura didn't come to
    North High from a city junior high.
[03:09] ---
    Of course not...
[03:11] ---
    Upon checking, she was endorsed
    by another city's junior high.
[03:15] ---
    That's so strange. It's not like
    North High's a famous prep school.
[03:19] ---
    It's just a public school.
[03:21] ---
    Why would they do that?
[03:23] ---
    Dunno.
[03:24] ---
    But she lives so close to school.
[03:27] ---
    And in a condo,
    not a month-to-month apartment.
[03:30] ---
    It's nice and pricey here.
    Did she go to junior high from here?
[03:35] ---
    I dunno.
[03:36] ---
    We need to check how long Asakura lived here.
[03:40] ---
    It's vacant now.
    There's no way the door will open.
[03:44] ---
    I really think we're wasting our time.
[03:47] ---
    Manager's office.
[03:49] ---
    I don't think they'd lend us keys.
[03:52] ---
    Not for that.
    To ask how long Asakura lived here.
[03:55] ---
    Let's just go home. We can't
    do anything even if we find out.
[03:59] ---
    No.
[04:00] ---
    We're friends of a previous tenant,
    Miss Ryoko Asakura...
[04:05] ---
    ...but she moved so suddenly.
[04:07] ---
    We're in a bind since we can't contact her.
[04:10] ---
    Did you hear where she was moving?
[04:12] ---
    And I'd like to know when
    Miss Asakura began living here.
[04:16] ---
    She can talk with common sense like this?
[04:22] ---
    Ryoko Asakura's new address
    and how long she lived here!
[04:27] ---
    Oh, oh...
[04:29] ---
    Miss Asakura from room 505.
[04:31] ---
    There was no sign of movers,
    but her room was empty.
[04:37] ---
    It surprised me.
[04:39] ---
    There weren't any movers?
[04:41] ---
    I haven't heard where she moved.
[04:43] ---
    I have to forward packages and things too.
[04:47] ---
    It's troublesome.
[04:49] ---
    How long has she lived here?
[04:51] ---
    I think about three years.
[04:54] ---
    I remember since a pretty young girl
    came by with Japanese sweets.
[05:00] ---
    And her parents?
[05:01] ---
    Do you know what kind of jobs
    her father and mother had?
[05:05] ---
    No clue.
[05:06] ---
    Come to think of it,
    I saw her time and again...
[05:10] ---
    ...but I never said hello to her parents.
[05:13] ---
    But it's pricey here, right?
[05:16] ---
    I can't think anyone would
    get a loan to let their child live alone.
[05:20] ---
    No, it wasn't a loan.
    They paid up-front with cold, hard cash.
[05:25] ---
    I was thinking they must be filthy rich.
[05:27] ---
    She's good at digging.
[05:29] ---
    Maybe if she became a detective...
[05:30] ---
    I wish I could've at least said
    some parting words. It's a shame.
[05:35] ---
    By the way, you're rather pretty yourself.
[05:40] ---
    Thank you for being so polite to us.
[05:46] ---
    Hey, boy.
[05:49] ---
    That girl will be very beautiful someday.
[05:52] ---
    Don't let her slip away.
[05:59] ---
    Oh?
[06:03] ---
    Even she eats meals...
[06:05] ---
    Could you live here too?
    What a coincidence.
[06:08] ---
    It's not from any angle.
[06:10] ---
    Heard anything about Asakura?
[06:14] ---
    You know she transferred, right?
[06:16] ---
    I see. If you do, let me know.
[06:19] ---
    Got it?
[06:21] ---
    What happened to your glasses?
[06:25] ---
    I don't know what to do
    even if you looked at me...
[06:33] ---
    Be careful.
[06:37] ---
    What do I have to be careful of now?
[06:40] ---
    Let's go.
[06:50] ---
    Where do you plan to go now?
[06:52] ---
    Dunno.
[06:54] ---
    No plan?
[07:01] ---
    Can I go home now?
[07:10] ---
    Have you ever realized
    how small your existence is on Earth?
[07:16] ---
    What is she talking about?
[07:19] ---
    I have. I'll never forget it.
[07:22] ---
    When I was in 6th grade,
    my whole family went to a baseball game.
[07:28] ---
    To the stadium.
[07:29] ---
    I had no interest in baseball,
    but I was surprised when I got there.
[07:33] ---
    Nothing but people as far as I could see.
[07:36] ---
    Across the stadium, rice-sized people
    were packed in and moving around.
[07:41] ---
    I thought every single human
    in Japan was gathered there.
[07:45] ---
    And so I asked my dad,
    "Just how many people are here?"
[07:51] ---
    Dad answered, "50,000,
    since the stadium was full."
[07:54] ---
    Walking to the station after
    the game, people overflowed.
[07:58] ---
    I was really shocked to see it.
[08:00] ---
    Seeing so many people...
[08:03] ---
    ...yet it was actually only
    a small fraction of Japan as a whole.
[08:07] ---
    Once at home, I used a calculator.
[08:10] ---
    I learned in social studies that
    the population's about a hundred million.
[08:14] ---
    I divided that by 50,000.
[08:17] ---
    It was only 1/2000. I was shocked once again.
[08:21] ---
    I was only one person
    among the mob at the stadium...
[08:26] ---
    ...and what seemed a lot there was
    just a handful of the population.
[08:32] ---
    Till then, I thought that I was
    a somewhat special person.
[08:37] ---
    It was fun in my family,
    and my class in school...
[08:40] ---
    ...had people more interesting
    than anywhere else in the world.
[08:46] ---
    But I realized then that it wasn't so.
[08:50] ---
    Even in class, what I thought
    was the most fun in the world...
[08:54] ---
    ...was nothing but ordinary
    in schools anywhere in Japan.
[08:59] ---
    To Japan's entire population,
    it was nothing out of the ordinary.
[09:04] ---
    When I realized that, it suddenly felt like...
[09:07] ---
    ...the entire world around me
    started to fade into gray.
[09:12] ---
    Brushing my teeth and sleeping.
    Waking up and eating breakfast.
[09:16] ---
    It was everywhere. Everyone did it every day.
[09:21] ---
    Thinking that, everything became boring.
[09:24] ---
    And if the world has this many people...
[09:27] ---
    ...some don't have ordinary lives,
    but very interesting ones.
[09:30] ---
    That's what I believed must have been.
[09:34] ---
    Why was it that it wasn't me?
[09:37] ---
    Until I graduated grade school,
    I had always thought that way.
[09:42] ---
    And I thought of something:
[09:44] ---
    That fun things
    won't come your way if you wait.
[09:48] ---
    I thought I would
    change myself in junior high.
[09:51] ---
    I wanted to tell the world,
    "I'm not a girl who's just waiting."
[09:54] ---
    I think I've done so.
[09:57] ---
    But in the end, nothing happened.
[09:59] ---
    Before I knew it, I was already in high school.
[10:03] ---
    I thought something would change.
[10:16] ---
    The train gave me time
    to consider voicing opposition...
[10:20] ---
    ...or work around it
    with some philosophical reference.
[10:25] ---
    I see...
[10:27] ---
    I'm kind of melancholy
    that this is all I could muster.
[10:30] ---
    I'm going home.
[10:36] ---
    Come to think of it,
    I can get home sooner that way too...
[10:41] ---
    ...but it felt as though Haruhi's back
    was telling me not to follow.
[10:47] ---
    I was at a standstill till I could
    no longer see Haruhi's back.
[10:53] ---
    I wonder what I'm doing.
[11:00] ---
    Hello.
[11:03] ---
    I thought I'd fulfill the promise
    I made some time ago...
[11:06] ---
    ...so I waited for your return.
[11:09] ---
    You sound like you know exactly where I was.
[11:13] ---
    I hope you don't mind
    sparing a bit of your time.
[11:18] ---
    It's about Suzumiya?
[11:20] ---
    It's about Miss Suzumiya.
[11:24] ---
    The taxi arriving was some good timing.
[11:28] ---
    You asked me before
    to show you proof that I was an esper.
[11:34] ---
    The perfect chance has come,
    so I thought I'd have you join me.
[11:38] ---
    We need to go far away for this?
[11:41] ---
    For me to show you
    my full abilities as an esper...
[11:45] ---
    ...it has to be in
    a certain location and condition.
[11:48] ---
    The place we're headed now
    meets the requirements correctly.
[11:54] ---
    You still think Haruhi's some kind of god?
[11:57] ---
    Have you heard the term, "human principle"?
[12:00] ---
    Never heard of it.
[12:02] ---
    Boiling it down, it's the thought
    that the universe is the way it is...
[12:06] ---
    ...because humans observed it
    and found out it was that way.
[12:12] ---
    I don't get it at all.
[12:14] ---
    Should I rephrase it as,
    "I observe, therefore the universe is"?
[12:19] ---
    In other words, there are sentient beings
    called humans in this world...
[12:24] ---
    ...and by discovering physics and constants...
[12:26] ---
    ...they can observe that
    the universe stands in this way...
[12:30] ---
    ...and its existence is clear for the first time.
[12:33] ---
    Then if those who observed it
    were not to evolve this far on Earth...
[12:40] ---
    ...the universe's existence
    would be unknown without observers.
[12:45] ---
    Existence and nonexistence would be the same.
[12:48] ---
    Humans exist, so the universe
    is known... A humancentric theory.
[12:54] ---
    Such a stupid story exists?
    With or without us, the universe is.
[12:58] ---
    Correct.
[13:00] ---
    So the human principle
    is just an experimental theory.
[13:04] ---
    However, an interesting fact
    floats up from here.
[13:08] ---
    Why was this universe created
    so fit for human survival?
[13:13] ---
    If the gravity constant or
    particle mass ratio were slightly different...
[13:17] ---
    ...this universe wouldn't have become this way.
[13:20] ---
    Sounds like a pamphlet for a
    strange religion that's into science.
[13:25] ---
    It's not that I believe there's
    an omnipotent god out there...
[13:30] ---
    ...who created humans or anything.
[13:33] ---
    But I doubt something.
[13:35] ---
    What?
[13:36] ---
    That perhaps we're
    nothing more than clowns...
[13:39] ---
    ...on our tippy toes at the edge of a cliff.
[13:44] ---
    Just kidding.
[13:45] ---
    I can't understand a single thing you said.
[13:48] ---
    I only referenced
    the human principle to ease you in.
[13:52] ---
    We haven't discussed Miss Suzumiya.
[13:54] ---
    So why do you, Nagato,
    and Miss Asahina all love Haruhi so much?
[13:59] ---
    I believe she's a charming woman,
    but putting that aside...
[14:04] ---
    Do you recall...
[14:05] ---
    ...how I mentioned Miss Suzumiya
    may have created the world?
[14:10] ---
    It's annoying but still in my memory.
[14:13] ---
    She has the ability to make her wishes reality.
[14:17] ---
    Don't say it so seriously.
[14:19] ---
    Miss Suzumiya was sure
    aliens existed and wished it so.
[14:24] ---
    So Yuki Nagato is here.
[14:27] ---
    Similarly, she wanted future men.
[14:29] ---
    So Mikuru Asahina is here.
[14:32] ---
    And as for me, I'm here
    just because she wished it so.
[14:38] ---
    As I've been saying, how do you know?
[14:41] ---
    It was three years ago.
[14:42] ---
    It was three years ago. Enough with that.
[14:44] ---
    I'm sick of it.
[14:45] ---
    One day, I suddenly knew of
    my powers and how to use them.
[14:51] ---
    And that those with similar powers
    awakened to them similarly.
[14:56] ---
    Plus, the fact they were all
    brought forth by Haruhi Suzumiya.
[15:00] ---
    I can't explain why.
    I can't help it since I just know.
[15:04] ---
    I'll throw you a trillion bones,
    but I don't think she could do that.
[15:09] ---
    We couldn't believe it ourselves.
[15:11] ---
    That one girl changed the universe...
[15:14] ---
    No, perhaps even created it.
[15:18] ---
    Furthermore, that girl
    thinks this world isn't amusing.
[15:24] ---
    It's somewhat scary.
[15:25] ---
    Why?
[15:26] ---
    I told you.
[15:27] ---
    If you could create the
    universe freely, you can unmake it...
[15:32] ---
    ...and re-create it as you please.
[15:34] ---
    If so, it will literally be the end of the world.
[15:38] ---
    Though there's no way for us to know.
[15:42] ---
    Perhaps this world
    that we believe is the only one...
[15:45] ---
    ...was the result of many repeated creations.
[15:49] ---
    Then just reveal Haruhi's identity to her.
[15:52] ---
    She'd be ecstatic to find out that espers exist.
[15:55] ---
    Maybe she won't consider changing the world.
[15:58] ---
    That's problematic too.
[16:00] ---
    If she thinks esper powers
    exist on an everyday level...
[16:05] ---
    ...the world will really end up that way.
[16:08] ---
    Physics will be all twisted.
    The entire universe will be in chaos.
[16:13] ---
    If you exist due to Haruhi's wish,
    why doesn't she realize it?
[16:18] ---
    It's strange.
[16:19] ---
    The wish for aliens,
    future men, and espers to exist...
[16:24] ---
    ...and realistic thoughts that
    they can't exist are fighting within her.
[16:29] ---
    Her words and actions are truly eccentric.
[16:32] ---
    But in reality, she's a normal human
    with a decent outlook.
[16:38] ---
    Her sandstorm-like spirits from
    junior high have been calm lately.
[16:44] ---
    I would've preferred that they stayed calm.
[16:47] ---
    But now we face the making of a new tornado.
[16:50] ---
    What's that?
[16:52] ---
    It's your fault.
[16:53] ---
    What about me?
[16:55] ---
    You gave her the idea
    to create such a strange club.
[16:59] ---
    Talking to you...
[17:01] ---
    ...she made up her mind
    to create a club full of weird people.
[17:05] ---
    The burden reverts to you.
[17:07] ---
    As a result, the ends of
    the three powers interested in her...
[17:12] ---
    ...have gathered in one place.
[17:15] ---
    A scapegoat.
[17:18] ---
    Well, that's not the only reason.
[17:37] ---
    I hate to say this at this point,
    but you can still turn back now.
[17:42] ---
    This far into it?
[17:44] ---
    Could you close your eyes for a while?
[17:47] ---
    It'll be over in a few seconds.
[17:54] ---
    What's this about? Gross...
[17:59] ---
    It's all right now.
[18:05] ---
    The gap between dimensions.
[18:07] ---
    Separate from our world,
    a completely enclosed space.
[18:12] ---
    This enclosed space's wall
    is in the middle of this crosswalk.
[18:16] ---
    It's roughly a 5 km radius.
[18:18] ---
    Normally, there are
    no physical means of entering.
[18:22] ---
    One of the powers
    that I have is to enter this space.
[18:26] ---
    Imagine a domed space on this land's surface.
[18:30] ---
    We're standing inside it.
[18:32] ---
    Everyday life no different than usual
    is going on outside us now.
[18:37] ---
    Normal people wandering in?
    Well, that seldom happens.
[18:42] ---
    The enclosed space is completely random.
[18:45] ---
    Sometimes every other day...
[18:48] ---
    ...and sometimes not for months on end.
[18:50] ---
    What's certain is that when
    Miss Suzumiya becomes unstable...
[18:54] ---
    ...this space is created.
[18:57] ---
    I can sense the enclosed spaces
    and how to enter them.
[19:02] ---
    My powers are not limited to that.
[19:06] ---
    You could say my power
    reflects Miss Suzumiya's conscience.
[19:11] ---
    If this is acne that pops up within her spirit...
[19:15] ---
    ...we're acne medication.
[19:17] ---
    Your metaphors are hard to get.
[19:20] ---
    People say that often.
    But you sure are something.
[19:24] ---
    You're not surprised seeing this.
[19:26] ---
    I've seen all sorts of things.
[19:29] ---
    It seems to have begun.
    Please look behind you.
[19:42] ---
    When Miss Suzumiya's irritation
    reaches the limit, that giant appears.
[19:47] ---
    She relieves her stress
    by breaking everything around her.
[19:52] ---
    Since she can't do this in the real world,
    she creates these spaces...
[19:57] ---
    ...and only commits destructive acts in here.
[20:00] ---
    Isn't it very logical?
[20:02] ---
    That thing shouldn't be able
    to stand due to its own weight.
[20:06] ---
    No reasoning works against it.
[20:09] ---
    Even bringing an entire
    army unit wouldn't stop that thing.
[20:14] ---
    Then that thing just keeps wreaking havoc?
[20:17] ---
    Look over there.
[20:19] ---
    My comrades.
[20:21] ---
    Like me, they're people that hunt
    giants powered by Miss Suzumiya.
[20:26] ---
    Now, I have to go join them.
[20:40] ---
    Jeez!
[21:01] ---
    Sorry to make you wait.
    I can show you one last interesting bit.
[21:06] ---
    What else is there?
[21:09] ---
    With the fall of that monster,
    this enclosed space also falls.
[21:13] ---
    It's quite a spectacle.
[21:28] ---
    Do you understand?
[21:30] ---
    No.
[21:31] ---
    We call that blue monster
    a divine man, a man made by god.
[21:36] ---
    Divine men are linked to
    Miss Suzumiya's mentality, as are we.
[21:42] ---
    Only when the enclosed spaces
    and divine men are born...
[21:46] ---
    ...can I unleash my powers.
[21:49] ---
    Further, I can only
    use them in enclosed spaces.
[21:52] ---
    For instance, I have
    no powers whatsoever now.
[21:56] ---
    Why were we the ones given such powers?
[21:59] ---
    Anyone would have been fine.
    I just happened to be chosen.
[22:04] ---
    We can't let the divine men do as they please.
[22:08] ---
    Because the more they destroy,
    the larger the space becomes.
[22:13] ---
    The space earlier was
    a small one, despite its size.
[22:17] ---
    If we left it alone, it would grow
    and engulf the entire world in time.
[22:22] ---
    If so, the world ends
    as that space's grey skies...
[22:26] ---
    ...replaces our world's.
[22:28] ---
    How do you know that?
[22:31] ---
    I can't help the fact that I know it.
[22:34] ---
    The same can be said
    for anyone in our "syndicate."
[22:37] ---
    If we don't do something,
    the world will be destroyed.
[22:42] ---
    It really is troublesome.
[22:45] ---
    Take care with Miss Suzumiya's behavior.
[22:47] ---
    It was stable for a while,
    but her mind is showing activity again.
[22:52] ---
    Today hadn't happened in a while.
[22:54] ---
    Isn't it out of my control even if I did?
[22:58] ---
    Oh, I don't know.
[23:00] ---
    Personally, I’d be willing
    to leave everything in your hands.
[23:06] ---
    Among us, there are all
    sorts of different opinions...
[23:09] ---
    Koizumi tells me to take care
    with Haruhi's behavior.
[23:14] ---
    Nagato, for some reason,
    also said to be careful.
[23:17] ---
    Even so, I didn't think
    something would happen right away.
[23:21] ---
    If I had foresight...
[23:24] ---
    ...and knew such a preposterous
    thing would happen the next day...
[23:28] ---
    ...I'm sure I wouldn't
    have been so sanguine.
[23:40] ---
    If we figured out the globe
    like we would a riddle...
[23:48] ---
    ...we could all go anywhere together.
[23:52] ---
    To the end of time, BOOOON!
[23:54] ---
    This feeling that is a warp and a loop.
[23:59] ---
    With an imagination that engulfs
    anything and everything, let's play.
[24:05] ---
    Something on one sunny day,
    more fun than any magic possible...
[24:10] ---
    ...endlessly pours down. It's not impossible.
[24:16] ---
    When we meet again tomorrow,
    we're all humming as we smile.
[24:21] ---
    Let's gather happiness. Such a thing is so easy.
[24:27] ---
    Chase after me. Try to catch it.
[24:32] ---
    A big dream... You like dreams, right?

E6 - The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Part Six
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:22] ---
    Self-styled android created by aliens.
[00:27] ---
    Self-styled time-traveling girl.
[00:30] ---
    Self-styled boy esper squadron.
[00:34] ---
    They've been frank and shown proof
    to dispute the "self-styled" part.
[00:39] ---
    Good morning, Kyon!
[00:39] ---
    For three different reasons...
[00:41] ---
    Come on, get up!
[00:41] ---
    ...the trio's actions revolve around Haruhi Suzumiya.
[00:44] ---
    Come on already!
[00:44] ---
    It'll take 100 light years to say it's good,
[00:47] ---
    Hurry up!
[00:47] ---
    but I don't get something.
[00:49] ---
    Why me?
[00:51] ---
    An alien, future girl, and esper boy
    wandered around Haruhi...
[00:54] ---
    ...because according to Koizumi,
    Haruhi wished for it.
[01:00] ---
    Then what about me?
[01:01] ---
    Why was I involved
    with this mysterious situation?
[01:06] ---
    Well, I'm off!
[01:06] ---
    I'm an ordinary high schooler
[01:08] ---
    Good morning!
[01:08] ---
    with no strange powers, 100% pure.
[01:13] ---
    Who wrote this scenario?
[01:15] ---
    You, Haruhi?
[01:18] ---
    Just kidding. Not my problem.
[01:22] ---
    Why should I worry about it?
    All the causes lie with Haruhi.
[01:27] ---
    That means the one who should be
    worrying isn't me, but Haruhi.
[01:31] ---
    Nagato, Koizumi, Miss Asahina...
    They should talk directly to her.
[01:36] ---
    Whatever the result, it's Haruhi's
    responsibility, not my problem.
[01:41] ---
    Everyone else can just run around.
[01:44] ---
    Yo!
[01:45] ---
    Yeah.
[01:47] ---
    Taniguchi, I'm a normal
    high school boy, right?
[01:53] ---
    I dunno.
[01:54] ---
    Normal high school boys
    don't push down girls in classrooms.
[01:58] ---
    Especially Yuki Nagato,
    who's an A- in my aesthetic ranking.
[02:02] ---
    I explained.
[02:04] ---
    The story Taniguchi is thinking of
    is complete fiction, a delusion.
[02:09] ---
    Nagato is a victim of Haruhi,
    who turned the lit club into her lair...
[02:14] ---
    ...and being too troubled by this,
    she consulted me.
[02:18] ---
    Relating to her direct plea,
    and to save this poor girl...
[02:22] ---
    ...I was in the classroom helping her
    plan after Haruhi went home.
[02:27] ---
    Nagato succumbed to her chronic anemia.
[02:29] ---
    She fell over, and I raced to
    prevent her collision on the floor...
[02:34] ---
    ...when someone intruded. You, Taniguchi.
[02:38] ---
    Honestly, when the truth is known,
    it's something very trivial.
[02:44] ---
    Liar
[02:44] ---
    Liar.
[02:45] ---
    Hmph...
[02:46] ---
    Even if I believed that lie,
    you wouldn't be normal at the point...
[02:50] ---
    ...where Yuki Nagato, famous for
    being a recluse, consulted you.
[02:55] ---
    Nagato was that famous?
[02:57] ---
    More than anything,
    she's Suzumiya's henchman.
[03:00] ---
    If you're an ordinary male student,
    I'm as ordinary as a water flea.
[03:06] ---
    Hey, Taniguchi...
    can you use supernatural powers?
[03:12] ---
    I get it... You're finally starting to
    become poisoned by Suzumiya.
[03:17] ---
    Don't get too close.
    I'll catch the Suzumiya bug.
[03:29] ---
    Why aren't you changing?
[03:29] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya VI
[03:31] ---
    Because it's hot.
[03:34] ---
    It's fine. I'll change again at the clubroom.
[03:38] ---
    I'm cleaning after class.
    It's easier to move in this.
[03:41] ---
    That's reasonable.
[03:42] ---
    What do you want as Mikuru's next outfit?
[03:45] ---
    Bunny girl, maid... Next would be...
[03:48] ---
    Wait, there's a next time?
[03:50] ---
    Cat ears? A nurse?
    Or would you like a dominatrix?
[03:55] ---
    Meowing with cat ears,
    or a nurse, or even a dominatrix...
[03:58] ---
    Moronic look.
[03:59] ---
    You brought it up.
[04:03] ---
    Honestly, I'm so bored...
[04:15] ---
    Show hidden files and folders
[04:24] ---
    I see. This is it.
[04:27] ---
    Find something out?
[04:29] ---
    No, nothing.
[04:31] ---
    Oh? What's this?
[04:33] ---
    I screwed up!
[04:34] ---
    Why is my name on it?
[04:37] ---
    What's in it? Show me.
[04:38] ---
    Well, this is, well...
    I wonder what it is?
[04:42] ---
    I'm sure it's nothing.
[04:43] ---
    Sounds like a lie.
[04:45] ---
    Miss Asahina, could you stand back?
[04:48] ---
    Please let me look.
[04:50] ---
    Just a bit. Hey, hey, please!
[04:53] ---
    What are you two doing?
[04:59] ---
    So you have a maid moe?
[05:02] ---
    What's that about?
[05:03] ---
    We're changing.
[05:05] ---
    Do as you please.
[05:07] ---
    I said we're changing.
[05:10] ---
    So?
[05:12] ---
    Get out!
[05:16] ---
    What's with her?
[05:18] ---
    She doesn't care when
    she changes in the classroom.
[05:22] ---
    The arms and shoulders are cool,
    but this outfit isn't that breathable.
[05:29] ---
    Huh?
[05:32] ---
    Is it costume party day?
[05:34] ---
    Don't complicate things.
[05:36] ---
    Mikuru.
[05:38] ---
    Sit here.
[05:46] ---
    They're like good sisters.
[05:49] ---
    She just wants to make a maid in braids.
[05:54] ---
    In the end, every day
    was normal if you said it was.
[05:59] ---
    We did nothing specific...
[06:01] ---
    We didn't know what to do...
[06:04] ---
    A life on moratorium
    along the flow of time.
[06:07] ---
    A life we took for granted,
    a commonplace, everyday life.
[06:11] ---
    Despite discontent from
    the extreme lack of activities...
[06:14] ---
    ...you keep welcoming the next day...
[06:17] ---
    ...telling yourself that
    you still have plenty of time left.
[06:21] ---
    Even so, this itself felt out of
    the ordinary and not all that bad.
[06:26] ---
    A classmate trying to kill you...
[06:28] ---
    Meeting a monster
    wrecking a grey, deserted world...
[06:31] ---
    That doesn't happen every day.
[06:34] ---
    Right. I wished these days
    would continue on forever.
[06:38] ---
    Isn't that what you'd normally think?
[06:41] ---
    But someone didn't think so.
[06:43] ---
    Of course, that would be Haruhi Suzumiya.
[06:58] ---
    What are you doing?
[07:00] ---
    Scissors. For art class tomorrow.
[07:03] ---
    That's fine, but let me know first at least.
[07:07] ---
    She knew how I'd react...
[07:13] ---
    By the way, do you know
    the mechanism for people's dreams?
[07:18] ---
    There are two kinds of sleep,
    REM sleep and non-REM sleep.
[07:22] ---
    They repeat in intervals.
[07:24] ---
    In REM sleep, the body's asleep,
    but the brain has light activity...
[07:28] ---
    ...and we have dreams.
[07:32] ---
    Kyon...
[07:33] ---
    Kyon!
[07:35] ---
    The alarm clock hasn't gone off yet, right?
[07:39] ---
    Wake up.
[07:40] ---
    No way.
[07:41] ---
    I said wake up!
[07:51] ---
    Do you know where we are?
[07:56] ---
    I thought I woke up, but I ended up here...
[08:00] ---
    ...and you were passed out next to me.
[08:02] ---
    What's this about?
[08:04] ---
    Why are we at school?
[08:09] ---
    An enclosed space.
[08:10] ---
    I was sleeping in my futon.
    Why are we in a place like this?
[08:14] ---
    And the sky is weird too...
[08:17] ---
    Have you seen Koizumi?
[08:19] ---
    No. Why?
[08:20] ---
    Nothing, just a hunch.
[08:24] ---
    First, let's leave the school.
[08:26] ---
    We might find someone.
[08:28] ---
    You don't seem too surprised.
[08:31] ---
    I'm surprised. Especially at
    the fact that you're here.
[08:42] ---
    What is this?
[08:54] ---
    It continues along the border.
[08:56] ---
    Does that mean we can't get out of here?
[09:00] ---
    Just grab my arm if you're scared.
    I'd get into the mood better.
[09:04] ---
    Idiot.
[09:11] ---
    It won't connect.
[09:13] ---
    I thought so.
[09:21] ---
    Kyon, look.
[09:24] ---
    Where in the world is this?
[09:29] ---
    It's gross...
[09:38] ---
    Want some?
[09:41] ---
    No thanks.
[09:43] ---
    What's going on? What is this?
[09:46] ---
    I don't get it at all.
[09:48] ---
    Where is this, and why am I here?
[09:52] ---
    Plus, why am I alone with you?
[09:54] ---
    Like I'd know.
[09:57] ---
    I'm going to look around.
[09:59] ---
    You stay here.
[10:01] ---
    I'll be right back.
[10:07] ---
    Acting like this is typical of Haruhi.
[10:17] ---
    Koizumi?
[10:18] ---
    Well, hello.
[10:19] ---
    It took a while.
[10:21] ---
    I thought you'd appear
    in slightly better shape...
[10:24] ---
    We must discuss something, including that.
[10:27] ---
    Let me be honest.
    This is an emergency situation.
[10:31] ---
    I can normally enter
    enclosed spaces with no problems.
[10:34] ---
    But this time, only in this incomplete form...
[10:38] ---
    ...after getting my comrades' help.
[10:40] ---
    Even then, it won't last.
[10:42] ---
    Our powers are about to
    disappear at any moment.
[10:46] ---
    What's going on? Only Haruhi and I are here?
[10:50] ---
    That's right.
[10:51] ---
    What we feared all along has finally begun.
[10:55] ---
    It seems she's finally
    given up on the real world...
[10:59] ---
    ...and decided on creating a new world.
[11:02] ---
    In other words, it's a world-ending crisis.
[11:07] ---
    What was that?
[11:10] ---
    Our syndicate's higher-ups
    are in a serious depression.
[11:14] ---
    No one knows what'll happen
    to this world once our deity's lost.
[11:18] ---
    If she's merciful...
[11:20] ---
    ...we could live on as if nothing happened.
[11:24] ---
    But we could also be unmade the next instant.
[11:27] ---
    Why so...
[11:28] ---
    Well, in any case...
[11:31] ---
    ...both you and she have
    totally vanished from this world.
[11:35] ---
    That isn't an ordinary enclosed space.
[11:38] ---
    It's a new dimension Miss Suzumiya created.
[11:42] ---
    Perhaps the previous enclosed spaces
    were practice for this one.
[11:48] ---
    That world will be closer to
    her wishes than this current world.
[11:54] ---
    I have no way to know her desires,
    so I wonder what will happen.
[11:59] ---
    Why is it that I'm here?
[12:01] ---
    You really have no idea why?
[12:04] ---
    You were chosen by Miss Suzumiya.
[12:07] ---
    You're the only one she wanted
    to be with from this universe.
[12:12] ---
    I thought you'd realize that much by now.
[12:16] ---
    It looks like time's running out.
[12:18] ---
    At this rate, it looks like
    we'll never see you two again.
[12:22] ---
    I have to live all alone
    with Haruhi in this world of grey?
[12:27] ---
    You're Adam and Eve.
[12:28] ---
    You can just procreate.
[12:31] ---
    I'll punch you.
[12:33] ---
    It's a joke.
[12:34] ---
    Theoretically, I think that world
    will become what you're used to.
[12:38] ---
    However, it won't be
    exactly the same as over here.
[12:42] ---
    Well, if I'm born there,
    please give me your best regards.
[12:46] ---
    We can't ever go back?
[12:49] ---
    If Miss Suzumiya wishes so...
[12:52] ---
    The chances are very slim...
[12:54] ---
    I'd liked to have associated
    with you and her a bit more...
[12:58] ---
    ...so I'm a bit regretful.
[13:00] ---
    Oh, right.
[13:02] ---
    I have messages from
    Mikuru Asahina and Yuki Nagato.
[13:06] ---
    Mikuru Asahina said to apologize to you.
[13:10] ---
    "Sorry, it's my fault."
[13:13] ---
    Yuki Nagato said to turn the computer on.
[13:17] ---
    Well then...
[13:21] ---
    What kind of joke is this?
[13:46] ---
    Can you see this?
[13:53] ---
    Yeah.
[13:53] ---
    I can.
[13:55] ---
    The dimensions aren't severed yet.
[13:57] ---
    It's inevitable. If so, it's over.
[14:00] ---
    What should I do?
[14:01] ---
    What should I do?
[14:03] ---
    Nothing. The entity has lost hope.
    The chance for evolution is lost.
[14:08] ---
    Haruhi Suzumiya
    created information from nothing.
[14:11] ---
    The entity could not.
[14:13] ---
    If we analyze this ability...
[14:15] ---
    ...it may lead to the evolution of autonomy.
[14:26] ---
    I'll gamble on you.
[14:28] ---
    Gamble what?
[14:30] ---
    It's our desire that you return.
    Haruhi Suzumiya is a valued subject.
[14:35] ---
    I, as an individual,
    also feel a desire for you to return.
[14:41] ---
    Once again, in the library...
[14:43] ---
    Nagato!
[14:55] ---
    What do you want me
    to do, Nagato...? Koizumi...?
[15:11] ---
    Kyon! Something showed up!
[15:13] ---
    What is that? A monster?
    It's not a mirage, right?
[15:18] ---
    Maybe an alien!
[15:19] ---
    Or an ancient superweapon
    resurrected in the modern age!
[15:27] ---
    Wait. What?
[15:34] ---
    Do you think it'll attack us?
[15:36] ---
    I can't think that it's something evil at all...
[15:41] ---
    Dunno.
[15:48] ---
    Really, what is this?
    This weird world and that giant...
[15:54] ---
    Don't you want to go back
    to the world we used to be in?
[15:59] ---
    We can't stay in a place like this forever.
[16:02] ---
    If we get hungry, it looks like
    there are no places to eat.
[16:06] ---
    It's strange, but I feel we'll get by somehow.
[16:09] ---
    I wonder why I feel like
    I'm having a little fun now.
[16:14] ---
    What about the SOS Brigade?
[16:16] ---
    You made it. You'll drop it?
[16:19] ---
    It doesn't matter anymore. Just look!
[16:21] ---
    I'm having a very fun, strange experience!
[16:24] ---
    There's no more need
    to search for strange things!
[16:28] ---
    I want to go back.
[16:34] ---
    I'm aware after being in this situation.
[16:36] ---
    No matter what I say,
    I really liked the life I had up to now.
[16:40] ---
    Stupid Taniguchi and Kunikida...
[16:42] ---
    Koizumi, Nagato, Miss Asahina...
[16:45] ---
    I can even add in the missing Asakura.
[16:48] ---
    What are you saying?
[16:51] ---
    I want to see them all again.
[16:54] ---
    I feel I have so much more to say to them.
[16:57] ---
    You'll see them.
[16:58] ---
    It's not like this world will be
    enveloped in shadow forever.
[17:03] ---
    When tomorrow comes,
    I'm sure the sun will rise.
[17:06] ---
    I can tell.
[17:08] ---
    That's not it.
[17:09] ---
    Not this world.
[17:11] ---
    I want to see the guys who were
    in the world we came from.
[17:20] ---
    I don't understand.
[17:26] ---
    Weren't you sick of that boring world too?
[17:30] ---
    Didn't you want something
    more interesting to happen too?
[17:39] ---
    Brigade Leader
[17:41] ---
    I thought so.
[17:45] ---
    You know, Haruhi...
[17:48] ---
    In the past few days,
    interesting things have happened to me.
[17:52] ---
    You may not know it, but you can
    say the world revolves around you.
[17:56] ---
    You just didn't know the world's
    clearly becoming interesting.
[18:09] ---
    Nagato said "the possibility of evolution."
[18:12] ---
    Miss Asahina said "a warp in time."
[18:14] ---
    Koizumi treats her as a "god."
[18:17] ---
    Then what about me?
[18:19] ---
    How do I distinguish
    the existence of Haruhi Suzumiya?
[18:23] ---
    Haruhi is Haruhi and nothing but Haruhi.
[18:26] ---
    I won't stall with tautology.
[18:27] ---
    I won't, but I don't have
    an absolute answer either.
[18:31] ---
    Point at a classmate
    behind the teacher and ask...
[18:35] ---
    ... "What do they mean to you?"
    How would you answer?
[18:38] ---
    No, sorry. I'm stalling.
[18:41] ---
    To me, Haruhi's not just a classmate.
[18:44] ---
    Or a chance for evolution,
    a warp in time, or a god, of course.
[18:47] ---
    There's no way!
[18:50] ---
    Do you know about Snow White?
[18:58] ---
    What?
[19:00] ---
    I actually have a ponytail moe.
[19:03] ---
    What?
[19:04] ---
    When you had a ponytail,
    it looked criminally good.
[19:09] ---
    Are you an idiot?
[19:42] ---
    What kind of dream did I have?
    Even Dr. Freud would laugh!
[19:49] ---
    That was the most
    realistic dream I've ever had...
[19:54] ---
    Or this world's no longer
    the world we lived in.
[19:58] ---
    Maybe it's a new world created by Haruhi.
[20:01] ---
    In which case, is there a way
    for me to confirm such a thing?
[20:14] ---
    Yo. Doing well?
[20:16] ---
    I'm not. I had a nightmare last night.
[20:20] ---
    So I couldn't sleep at all.
[20:23] ---
    I've never thought about
    staying home as much as today.
[20:26] ---
    Is that so?
[20:31] ---
    Haruhi.
[20:33] ---
    What?
[20:35] ---
    That looks good.
[20:48] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
[20:56] ---
    I guess I should be thanking you.
[20:59] ---
    It looks like my part-time job
    won't be over for a while.
[21:03] ---
    Well, I can't deny this world may
    have been created last night...
[21:09] ---
    In any case, it's an honor to meet
    you and Miss Suzumiya again.
[21:13] ---
    I'll see you again after school.
[21:16] ---
    You and Haruhi Suzumiya
    vanished for two and a half hours.
[21:21] ---
    How many more like you are
    out there, other than yourself?
[21:26] ---
    A lot.
[21:27] ---
    Will I get attacked
    by those like Asakura again?
[21:32] ---
    It will be all right.
[21:35] ---
    I won't allow it.
[21:42] ---
    Kyon!
[21:44] ---
    I'm so glad I saw you again...
[21:47] ---
    I thought you wouldn't make it back...
[21:50] ---
    Miss Asahina...
[21:52] ---
    No, no!
[21:53] ---
    If Miss Suzumiya saw us,
    it'll be birds of repeated mistakes!
[21:58] ---
    I don't get what you mean...
[22:00] ---
    Oh, Miss Asahina...
[22:03] ---
    You have a star-shaped mole
    on your chest, right?
[22:11] ---
    H-How did you know that?
[22:14] ---
    Even I didn't realize it was star shaped.
[22:17] ---
    W-When, when, when did you realize it?
[22:20] ---
    What are you two doing?
[22:23] ---
    Mikuru, you must be
    bored of that maid's outfit.
[22:27] ---
    So time to change.
[22:29] ---
    N-N-No...
[22:29] ---
    Don't flail.
[22:32] ---
    It's futile. It's a nurse now.
[22:34] ---
    What's the politically correct term?
    Oh well, same difference.
[22:39] ---
    I'll talk a bit about the aftermath.
[22:42] ---
    The SOS Brigade submitted
    its club founding request...
[22:46] ---
    ...to the student council.
[22:48] ---
    "Spreading Excitement All Over the World...
[22:51] ---
    ...With Haruhi Suzumiya's Brigade"
    would've been turned down.
[22:54] ---
    We changed it to
    "A Public Service Brigade...
[22:56] ---
    ...For Creating a World That
    Cheers On the Student Society."
[23:00] ---
    We're still patrolling for strange incidents.
[23:03] ---
    Today's the second time.
[23:05] ---
    Miss Asahina, Nagato,
    and Koizumi had sudden errands...
[23:11] ---
    ...so I'm waiting for Haruhi by myself.
[23:14] ---
    I arrived an hour before report time...
[23:17] ---
    ...since we had a rule that late
    or not, the last person pays a fine.
[23:22] ---
    Whether that scowl was
    lamenting the low attendance...
[23:27] ---
    ...or regretting coming
    later than me, I don't know.
[23:30] ---
    I'll pry the answer out slowly
    at the café where Haruhi's treating.
[23:35] ---
    And when we sit down, I'd like
    to talk about all sorts of things.
[23:40] ---
    How the SOS Brigade will operate from now on.
[23:43] ---
    My wish list for Miss Asahina's
    cosplaying, et cetera, et cetera.
[23:47] ---
    But in the end, the first thing
    I'll talk about is already set.
[23:51] ---
    Right, first off...
[23:53] ---
    ...I plan on talking to her about
    aliens, future men, and espers.
[24:00] ---
    

E7 - The Boredom of Haruhi Suzumiya
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:40] ---
    Some tea. Here.
[00:42] ---
    Oh, thanks.
[00:52] ---
    It's good.
[00:56] ---
    Here.
[00:57] ---
    Thank you, Miss Asahina.
[01:01] ---
    Haruhi created the SOS Brigade
    in May. It's already June.
[01:06] ---
    Meanwhile, I was involved...
[01:08] ---
    ...in an incident that's like
    the world getting sudden calf cramps.
[01:12] ---
    That aside, this episode
    goes something like this.
[01:16] ---
    Guys!
[01:17] ---
    We're going to enter a baseball tournament!
[01:18] ---
    Ninth All-City Amateur Baseball Tournament
[01:20] ---
    From that day till today,
    nothing out of the ordinary has happened.
[01:24] ---
    We were enjoying a moment
    of peace and boredom.
[01:28] ---
    But it seems that was just
    a fleeting moment. Why?
[01:32] ---
    Because when she has that great smile...
[01:35] ---
    ...I somehow end up completely fatigued.
[01:47] ---
    The answer is always in my heart.
[01:54] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
[02:01] ---
    I don't know why, but I chose you.
[02:08] ---
    It won't stop now. Mr. Destiny deemed it so.
[02:14] ---
    I believe it's boring to just mimic.
[02:20] ---
    You'll be right, so I'll do what I feel as I feel it.
[02:29] ---
    It's an adventure, right, right?
[02:31] ---
    In this world where truth becomes fiction.
[02:36] ---
    We become stronger
    because we have dreams...
[02:40] ---
    ...not for the sake of someone.
[02:43] ---
    Please come with me.
[02:46] ---
    See me and my endlessly free self.
[02:52] ---
    Today's present that becomes
    tomorrow's past is the miracle.
[02:58] ---
    Let's grab the future.
[03:04] ---
    I believe you...
[03:15] ---
    What did you say?
[03:17] ---
    This.
[03:21] ---
    Ninth All-City Amateur Baseball Tournament...
[03:21] ---
    The Boredom of Haruhi Suzumiya
[03:25] ---
    And who'll enter this
    "sandlot" baseball tournament?
[03:28] ---
    Us of course!
[03:30] ---
    Am I included in that "us"?
[03:32] ---
    We need to find four more people.
[03:36] ---
    As usual, opposing voices don't reach her ears.
[03:40] ---
    Do you know baseball's rules?
[03:42] ---
    Of course I know that.
[03:44] ---
    I learned the basics
    when I tried out for the baseball team.
[03:49] ---
    It wasn't fun at all, so I went home.
[03:51] ---
    If you think baseball's boring,
    why enter this tournament?
[03:56] ---
    It's our chance to
    show the world our existence!
[03:59] ---
    If we win, the SOS Brigade's name
    might take on a life of its own!
[04:05] ---
    It's a good opportunity!
    It's a nice idea, right, Mikuru?
[04:09] ---
    B-But...
[04:10] ---
    See? Isn't baseball great?
[04:13] ---
    Our goal is the championship!
[04:15] ---
    We can't drop a single one.
    Because I hate losing.
[04:22] ---
    Got that?
[04:23] ---
    That's nice.
[04:24] ---
    Don't agree with that calm look.
[04:26] ---
    Why don't you oppose her for once?
[04:29] ---
    I think it's a saner activity
    than walking around...
[04:32] ---
    ...in search of aliens and UMAs.
[04:36] ---
    So when is this tournament?
[04:38] ---
    This Sunday.
[04:39] ---
    In two days? That's just way too sudden!
[04:42] ---
    But I already applied.
[04:44] ---
    Oh, don't worry. I used
    "SOS Brigade" as the team name.
[04:49] ---
    I made sure I didn't miss anything there.
[04:51] ---
    Where do you plan
    to find the other four players?
[04:55] ---
    I just have to grab bored people
    walking around the area.
[04:59] ---
    She really means that.
[05:01] ---
    All right. You stay put.
[05:04] ---
    I think Taniguchi and Kunikida have time...
[05:07] ---
    That'll do.
[05:08] ---
    Haruhi thinks of her classmates as objects.
[05:11] ---
    Let's see... Two more...
[05:14] ---
    Um, if you don't mind, I have a friend...
[05:18] ---
    That's fine.
[05:18] ---
    Apparently, anyone's fine.
[05:20] ---
    Wait... Miss Asahina's friend?
[05:23] ---
    I'm a bit curious.
    Friend from when and where?
[05:26] ---
    It's fine. She's from this time...
[05:30] ---
    She's a friend I met in class.
[05:32] ---
    Then I'll ask someone who's
    been curious about our activities...
[05:37] ---
    I'll do something about it.
[05:39] ---
    Then time for special training!
[05:42] ---
    Special training? Starting now?
[05:44] ---
    Yeah.
[05:45] ---
    Where?
[05:46] ---
    Over there!
[05:51] ---
    And so we got roped into
    entering a baseball tournament.
[05:55] ---
    Why? The answer is simple.
[05:59] ---
    It was because Haruhi was just bored.
[06:05] ---
    Hey, can we borrow this area?
    And baseball equipment too.
[06:09] ---
    What's that?
[06:11] ---
    We need rush baseball practice.
    You're in the way, so leave.
[06:15] ---
    Like we would.
[06:17] ---
    A little bit won't hurt. Right, Mikuru?
[06:23] ---
    Um...
[06:26] ---
    Adolescence is easy to identify.
[06:29] ---
    Now, we'll start with
    catching a thousand grounders!
[06:40] ---
    The future of the
    SOS Brigade rides on that ball.
[06:44] ---
    Grab it!
[06:45] ---
    This is the first time I've heard
    our futures were on a small ball...
[06:58] ---
    One more! Mikuru, here it comes!
[07:05] ---
    That hurts...
[07:11] ---
    Are you all right? Can you stand?
[07:15] ---
    Kyon, no. If you're friendly
    with me, it will happen again...
[07:21] ---
    Damn it, Kyon, Mikuru!
    Get back to position!
[07:24] ---
    She's out with an injury!
[07:26] ---
    That's enough. Next.
[07:28] ---
    The baseball team.
[07:30] ---
    Why us?
[07:37] ---
    All right! That's it for today!
[07:42] ---
    What a surprise. She really did
    hit a thousand exactly.
[07:46] ---
    I'm more surprised that you counted them.
[07:50] ---
    Hey, Nagato...
[07:51] ---
    Can you make it rain
    the day of the tournament?
[07:55] ---
    Strong enough to cancel it?
[07:57] ---
    It's not impossible, but I would not advise it.
[08:01] ---
    Why?
[08:01] ---
    Alteration of regional climate...
[08:04] ---
    ...could leave an aftereffect
    on the planet's ecosystem.
[08:07] ---
    In how many years?
[08:09] ---
    Several hundred to
    ten thousand years from now.
[08:13] ---
    Then best we not do so.
[08:16] ---
    Right.
[08:22] ---
    And so, the tournament day arrived.
[08:25] ---
    It didn't have to...
[08:30] ---
    So you're Kyon?
    I hear a lot about you from Mikuru.
[08:35] ---
    I see...
[08:36] ---
    This is my friend, Miss Tsuruya.
[08:39] ---
    I'm Taniguchi! Nice to meet you.
[08:42] ---
    I'm Kunikida.
[08:43] ---
    Well, I couldn't say no
    to my good friend Kyon.
[08:47] ---
    Oh, brother...
[08:47] ---
    Taniguchi and Kunikida... I'll remember that.
[08:49] ---
    Kyon.
[08:51] ---
    Come over here.
[08:54] ---
    What are you thinking?
[08:55] ---
    Making someone like her play baseball?
[08:59] ---
    "Like her" is kind of rude.
    That's my little sister.
[09:02] ---
    She introduced herself
    as a ten-year-old fifth grader.
[09:06] ---
    She's so honest that it's hard
    to believe she's your sister.
[09:10] ---
    But we're in a general baseball
    tournament, not little league.
[09:15] ---
    I know, Haruhi.
[09:17] ---
    That's why I brought my sister.
[09:20] ---
    There's nothing clinching this,
    but Haruhi's doing this.
[09:23] ---
    If we're champions by mistake,
    it'll definitely be problematic.
[09:27] ---
    With a fifth grader in the ranks,
    it'd be insane for us to win.
[09:33] ---
    Fine.
[09:34] ---
    It's a perfect handicap.
    A decisive win would be bad.
[09:38] ---
    She's serious about winning.
[09:44] ---
    By the way, what about choosing
    batting order and field positions?
[09:48] ---
    I thought it out already.
[09:51] ---
    Deciding this way is fine, right?
[09:53] ---
    One for batting order, one for position.
[09:55] ---
    And I'm the pitcher and first batter.
[09:59] ---
    All you decided was how to figure it out?
[10:01] ---
    What, got a problem? It's a democratic method.
[10:05] ---
    In ancient Greece, they chose officials by lot.
[10:08] ---
    Don't compare ancient Greek elections
    to this in modern Japan.
[10:13] ---
    And only you get what you want.
    How's that democratic?
[10:21] ---
    I hear we face a college team,
    the Kamigahara Pirates, first.
[10:26] ---
    They're the tournament's favored team.
[10:28] ---
    Games with ten-run leads are called.
[10:31] ---
    So it's not too early
    to start packing up to go home now.
[10:37] ---
    Play ball!
[10:53] ---
    That pitch wasn't impressive.
[10:55] ---
    Follow in my footsteps!
[11:00] ---
    I hope to do...
[11:02] ---
    Strike!
[11:04] ---
    What kind of pitch is that?
[11:06] ---
    If he hits her, it's an
    instant fight! A party of a fight!
[11:11] ---
    Strike!
[11:12] ---
    Mikuru!
[11:13] ---
    Like this! You swing it with a bang!
[11:16] ---
    Strikeout!
[11:18] ---
    Hey, why didn't you swing the bat?
[11:21] ---
    Strike!
[11:22] ---
    Strike!
[11:23] ---
    Strikeout!
[11:25] ---
    Yuki! You won't
    hit the ball if you don't swing!
[11:29] ---
    Kyon, you'd better hit the ball!
    You're batting fourth!
[11:32] ---
    What do you expect from
    a fourth batter chosen by number?
[11:37] ---
    Strike!
[11:38] ---
    Haruhi hit this to the outfield?
[11:41] ---
    Strike!
[11:50] ---
    Strikeout!
[11:52] ---
    What are you doing, idiot?
[11:53] ---
    Much regret.
[11:57] ---
    Let's get our guard up!
[11:58] ---
    Yeah!
[12:03] ---
    Play!
[12:06] ---
    Strike!
[12:10] ---
    Strike!
[12:12] ---
    Strikeout!
[12:14] ---
    Nice pitching!
[12:15] ---
    Easy! So easy!
[12:23] ---
    Foul ball!
[12:39] ---
    She throws balls straight into the strike zone...
[12:41] ---
    All right, all right!
[12:42] ---
    ...so they'll hit them once they find out.
[12:45] ---
    And our defense is as torn up
    as an anthill in a savanna...
[12:49] ---
    ...a complete sieve!
[12:51] ---
    Nice catch!
[12:51] ---
    The fact only two runs were scored...
[12:54] ---
    ...must mean the other team's
    goddess of victory is late.
[12:57] ---
    I'm impressed!
[12:57] ---
    I'm sure everyone wants to relax on Sunday.
[12:59] ---
    SOS Brigade
[12:59] ---
    Kamigahara Pirates
[13:00] ---
    Strikeout!
[13:00] ---
    The top of the second inning went by quickly.
[13:04] ---
    And in the bottom,
    we easily allowed extra runs.
[13:07] ---
    It seems we can end this next inning.
[13:12] ---
    Out!
[13:13] ---
    It's rather tough...
[13:15] ---
    It's all I can do just to hit it with the bat.
[13:19] ---
    Looks like I need it after all.
[13:22] ---
    Hey, time out!
[13:26] ---
    H-Hold on...
[13:28] ---
    Miss Suzumiya, d-don't!
[13:30] ---
    Come on, get out of that and change already!
[13:36] ---
    You look good...
    Mikuru, can I take pictures?
[13:40] ---
    I wonder if a ponytail would be better...
[13:47] ---
    Now, cheer.
[13:48] ---
    Um, how should I?
[13:50] ---
    Like this!
[13:52] ---
    Now, say it with a loud voice!
[13:54] ---
    E-Everyone, please hit the ball!
    I beg you to do your best!
[14:00] ---
    Yeah! Leave it to me!
[14:02] ---
    Strikeout!
[14:03] ---
    I can't hit it.
[14:05] ---
    It's all right. I wasn't counting on you.
[14:22] ---
    Safe!
[14:23] ---
    Mikuru, make sure to hit the ball this time!
[14:25] ---
    Mikuru! Go for it!
[14:26] ---
    Miss Asahina!
[14:31] ---
    Strike!
[14:32] ---
    Mikuru! Like this!
[14:35] ---
    What's she doing?
[14:37] ---
    Is she lowering the opposing
    pitcher's magic points?
[14:40] ---
    It seems like she's giving a blocking sign.
[14:43] ---
    We made signs?
[14:45] ---
    No, but she's most likely
    signaling for a squeeze.
[14:51] ---
    A three-bunt-squeeze sign with two outs?
[14:54] ---
    Even senile directors
    would make better calls than that.
[14:58] ---
    In other words, since the chance
    she'll hit the ball is nearly zero...
[15:03] ---
    ...if we catch the opposing team
    off guard with a crazy squeeze...
[15:07] ---
    ...an infielder might
    cause an error to happen...
[15:10] ---
    ...and perhaps the thought is
    Miss Asahina can somehow bunt.
[15:17] ---
    But they totally know.
[15:20] ---
    Strike!
[15:22] ---
    Strikeout!
[15:23] ---
    Mikuru, come over here and grit your teeth!
[15:27] ---
    Punishment.
[15:28] ---
    Let everyone see this interesting face.
[15:31] ---
    Please stop...
[15:33] ---
    Are you an idiot?
[15:35] ---
    It's your fault for giving that vague sign.
[15:38] ---
    Why didn't you try stealing home?
[15:50] ---
    Things aren't looking good.
[15:52] ---
    I don't wanna know, but go.
[15:54] ---
    An enclosed space larger
    than any other is forming.
[15:58] ---
    It seems to be spreading at an alarming rate.
[16:02] ---
    It'll keep growing unless
    Miss Suzumiya's mood improves...
[16:05] ---
    ...and you-know-what will keep destroying.
[16:08] ---
    Because we're losing? What nonsense.
[16:13] ---
    You talk as if you're uninvolved,
    but you're greatly involved in this.
[16:18] ---
    Because of how we decided
    the batting order by picking numbers.
[16:22] ---
    As a result, you ended up fourth.
[16:25] ---
    I'm not pleased.
[16:26] ---
    You're the fourth batter because
    Miss Suzumiya wished it so.
[16:30] ---
    It's no coincidence.
[16:32] ---
    And since you're not performing
    like one, she feels despair.
[16:37] ---
    Well, sorry.
[16:38] ---
    In any case, let's do our best so
    they don't call the game this inning.
[16:43] ---
    If it ends here, it's the equivalent of
[16:46] ---
    this world ending.
[16:48] ---
    Hey, we're starting now!
[16:49] ---
    We must limit this inning
    to two runs no matter what.
[16:57] ---
    Two outs, men on first and second.
[17:00] ---
    SOS Brigade
[17:00] ---
    Kamigahara Pirates
[17:00] ---
    It's zero to nine now.
[17:02] ---
    One more run and the game's called.
[17:07] ---
    It's coming this way!
[17:10] ---
    Make it in time! Make it in time!
[17:13] ---
    Amazing!
[17:15] ---
    Nice play! You're pretty good!
[17:16] ---
    That's my pal!
[17:23] ---
    Continuing our chat...
[17:25] ---
    Too close. What?
[17:27] ---
    When you went to that
    other world with Miss Suzumiya...
[17:30] ---
    ...how'd you return?
[17:32] ---
    Don't make me remember.
[17:34] ---
    If you use that trick,
    perhaps things will go well again.
[17:38] ---
    I decline.
[17:39] ---
    I thought you'd say that.
[17:41] ---
    Then let's win this game instead.
[17:44] ---
    Our pros and cons probably match hers.
[17:51] ---
    Miss Nagato is finally...
[17:53] ---
    Something wrong with her?
[17:55] ---
    She's casting a spell.
[17:57] ---
    A spell? What's that?
[18:00] ---
    Let's see... Classified information.
[18:04] ---
    A spell, huh...
[18:18] ---
    Amazing! Where'd you hide
    such great powers?
[18:22] ---
    I changed its elemental boost information.
[18:25] ---
    What's that?
[18:26] ---
    Homing mode.
[18:29] ---
    It's flying really far!
[18:31] ---
    I see. Homing mode, huh...
[18:33] ---
    Jeez, there's a limit to
    how random things can get...
[18:44] ---
    Things are gonna get bad
    at this rate. In all sorts of ways.
[18:50] ---
    That's enough.
[18:52] ---
    I see.
[18:54] ---
    Strike!
[18:56] ---
    I had forgotten, but the first round
    has a 90-minute time limit.
[19:01] ---
    There's no next inning.
[19:02] ---
    If we can hold them off, we win.
[19:05] ---
    Is it okay to win?
[19:07] ---
    It's necessary.
[19:10] ---
    Thanks to this...
[19:11] ---
    ...the widening of the
    enclosed space has been halted.
[19:15] ---
    But if they rally, the game ends.
[19:18] ---
    If so, it's useless to think about
    how Haruhi's mood will be.
[19:22] ---
    I have a plan.
[19:25] ---
    You're serious?
[19:26] ---
    Dead serious.
[19:28] ---
    That's the only way we have left
    of keeping the runs down.
[19:33] ---
    Oh, brother...
[19:38] ---
    Ball.
[19:39] ---
    Hey, do it for real!
[19:41] ---
    We swapped too, so if we lose,
    you're treating everyone!
[19:44] ---
    I know.
[19:46] ---
    After all, the fate of the entire world
    is resting on my pitching.
[19:50] ---
    This world's gotten to be a cheap place.
[19:57] ---
    Strike!
[19:57] ---
    With this "mysterious ball" (I named it)...
[20:00] ---
    ...it looks like the world will be
    spared from certain destruction.
[20:05] ---
    S-Strike two!
[20:07] ---
    Strikeout!
[20:09] ---
    The next batter struck out in three pitches...
[20:11] ---
    Strikeout!
[20:13] ---
    ...and the last batter now has two strikes.
[20:15] ---
    Strike two!
[20:16] ---
    Kyon, decide this with the next pitch!
[20:19] ---
    This would decide things anyway.
[20:21] ---
    Sorry, Kamigahara Pirates.
[20:26] ---
    Lucky!
[20:27] ---
    It's an error, Nagato!
    Pick up the ball and throw it!
[20:33] ---
    Hurry!
[20:39] ---
    Second!
[20:39] ---
    Over here!
[20:41] ---
    Huh?
[20:45] ---
    I'm terribly sorry.
[20:46] ---
    We have slightly less
    common sense than normal.
[20:50] ---
    G-Game set!
[20:53] ---
    Thanks to Nagato's magical cheating,
    we were able to win...
[20:57] ---
    What should we do for the second round?
[21:00] ---
    I'd pity the Pirates if we
    went to the second round like this.
[21:03] ---
    Besides...
[21:05] ---
    Actually, I need to go help
    my comrades out soon.
[21:09] ---
    We'll be short a member...
[21:11] ---
    Let's forfeit.
[21:12] ---
    That sounds good.
[21:14] ---
    It seems it's a bad thing
    to keep Miss Suzumiya bored.
[21:18] ---
    This leaves us with something
    to ponder for the future.
[21:21] ---
    You've had enough fun, right?
[21:23] ---
    Koizumi has a sudden errand...
[21:26] ---
    ...and my legs and arms
    are tattered and torn.
[21:35] ---
    If you're fine with it, then sure.
[21:38] ---
    I'm hungry anyway, so let's go eat lunch.
[21:41] ---
    Sure, sure.
[21:43] ---
    Thank you...
[21:45] ---
    Not at all...
[21:46] ---
    Well, see you.
[21:48] ---
    Oh, you know...
[21:49] ---
    That bat...
[21:54] ---
    You're Yuki Nagato?
[21:54] ---
    I didn't realize I had
[21:56] ---
    I heard a lot about you.
[21:56] ---
    a knack for baseball myself.
[21:58] ---
    All of you, eat up! This is Kyon's treat!
[22:02] ---
    Oh, well...
[22:03] ---
    I ended up with unexpected income anyway.
[22:06] ---
    I wish the best for the Kamigahara Pirates.
[22:20] ---
    Sorry I'm late!
[22:23] ---
    Hey, which one's better?
[22:24] ---
    Soccer Tournament
[22:24] ---
    American Football Tournament
[22:25] ---
    Soccer and football...
    How many people do we need?
[22:29] ---
    Is what we had enough?
[22:31] ---
    As I watch Haruhi's perfect smile...
[22:34] ---
    ...I was thinking about
    which sport required fewer people.
[22:38] ---
    Football... No, keep it
    at gateball [Japanese croquet]!
[22:49] ---
    If we figured out the globe
    like we would a riddle...
[22:55] ---
    ...we could all go anywhere together.
[22:58] ---
    To the end of time, BOOOON!
[23:01] ---
    This feeling that is a warp and a loop.
[23:05] ---
    With an imagination that engulfs
    anything and everything, let's play.
[23:11] ---
    Something on one sunny day,
    more fun than any magic possible...
[23:16] ---
    ...endlessly pours down. It's not impossible.
[23:22] ---
    When we meet again tomorrow,
    we're all humming as we smile.
[23:28] ---
    Let's gather happiness. Such a thing is so easy.
[23:33] ---
    Chase after me. Try to catch it.
[23:38] ---
    A big dream... You like dreams, right?

E8 - Bamboo Leaf Rhapsody
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:23] ---
    It was summertime.
[00:25] ---
    And with final exams coming close,
[00:27] ---
    my good mood was wandering about
    somewhere in Brazil,
[00:30] ---
    and it didn't seem like
    it was going to come back.
[00:33] ---
    Hey, do you know what day it is today?
[00:35] ---
    Is it your birthday?
[00:37] ---
    Nope.
[00:38] ---
    Is it Miss Asahina's birthday?
[00:39] ---
    Wrong!
[00:40] ---
    Is it Koizumi or Nagato's birthday?
[00:42] ---
    I don't know when those are!
[00:43] ---
    By the way, my birthday is--
[00:45] ---
    That doesn't matter.
[00:47] ---
    You don't know what
    an important day it is today, do you?
[00:51] ---
    It's just a hot weekday to me.
[00:55] ---
    Tell me what day of the month it is.
[00:58] ---
    July seventh...
[01:00] ---
    Are you saying that you've been
    talking about Tanabata?
[01:04] ---
    Of course I'm talking about Tanabata!
    It's Tanabata today!
[01:07] ---
    You're Japanese, you've got to
    remember these kinds of things!
[01:11] ---
    I see.
[01:12] ---
    I always make sure to
    take part in events like these.
[01:15] ---
    This year, the whole SOS Brigade
    is going to make this a huge affair!
[01:19] ---
    And here we go.
[01:20] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
[01:30] ---
    Since this past spring, it's become my daily routine
[01:30] ---
    Bamboo Leaf Rhapsody
[01:33] ---
    to run aimlessly about this way and that
[01:36] ---
    when Haruhi gets going about something.
[01:39] ---
    I kind of hate the fact
    that I'm getting used to it.
[01:44] ---
    Yes?
[01:45] ---
    Hey.
[01:47] ---
    Hello.
[01:48] ---
    How are you doing?
[01:50] ---
    Things have been crazy for me
    ever since I started high school.
[01:54] ---
    Here you go.
[01:55] ---
    Thank you.
[01:57] ---
    You're welcome.
[01:58] ---
    Would you like to try this out?
[02:00] ---
    We'll eventually get bored
    of Othello, after all.
[02:02] ---
    Unfortunately, I don't know the rules.
[02:05] ---
    That's too bad.
[02:06] ---
    This is your only chance to be so carefree.
[02:09] ---
    She's come up with another
    harebrained scheme...
[02:12] ---
    Hey ho! My bad, my bad, sorry I'm late!
[02:16] ---
    Where the heck did you pick up
    that branch and that greeting?
[02:18] ---
    The forest behind the school.
[02:19] ---
    That's someone's private property,
    you bamboo thief.
[02:23] ---
    Here, I also made tanzaku.
[02:25] ---
    Write down your wishes, everyone!
[02:27] ---
    Tanzaku?
[02:28] ---
    I see. Today is Tanabata, after all.
[02:30] ---
    There are conditions, however!
[02:32] ---
    Conditions? Hold on, we haven't even
    said that we're going to write anything.
[02:35] ---
    Kyon, do you know who makes
    wishes come true during Tanabata?
[02:40] ---
    Orihime and Hikoboshi, right?
[02:42] ---
    Well, that's correct. Ten points.
[02:44] ---
    Okay, then, do you know which stars
    Orihime and Hikoboshi are?
[02:47] ---
    Nope.
[02:48] ---
    That would be Vega and Altair, I believe.
[02:49] ---
    Eighty-five points!
[02:51] ---
    That's why you have to hang
    your tanzaku facing those stars!
[02:54] ---
    What about the other fifteen points?
[02:57] ---
    Ahem!
[02:58] ---
    Let me explain.
[03:00] ---
    According to the theory of relativity,
[03:02] ---
    it isn't possible to travel anywhere
    faster than the speed of light.
[03:05] ---
    Incidentally, Vega and Altair are
[03:07] ---
    25 and 16 light years from Earth, respectively.
[03:08] ---
    Vega - 25 light years
[03:09] ---
    Altair - 16 light years
[03:10] ---
    Which means!
[03:11] ---
    That any information
    that leaves the Earth will take
[03:13] ---
    at least that much time
    before it reaches those stars!
[03:15] ---
    You went to the trouble to look that up?
[03:18] ---
    That's why neither of the gods will be able
[03:20] ---
    to make your wish come true
    at least until that long after.
[03:23] ---
    So if you wish for a boyfriend
    by this Christmas or something,
[03:26] ---
    it won't get there in time!
[03:27] ---
    If it takes that long to go one way,
[03:29] ---
    won't it take 50 years or 32 years
    for it to make the round trip?
[03:32] ---
    Well, they're gods,
    so they'll think of something.
[03:36] ---
    It's like a half-price summer bargain.
[03:37] ---
    What happened to
    "according to the theory of relativity"?
[03:40] ---
    Here are two tanzaku,
    one each for Vega and Altair.
[03:43] ---
    So, write wishes that you want
    to come true in 25 and 16 years!
[03:47] ---
    We don't know what
    we'll be doing in 25 or 16 years,
[03:52] ---
    so what the heck should we be wishing for?
[03:55] ---
    She's always thinking of
    these unnecessary things.
[03:58] ---
    Where in the universe does
    she get her idea of "normal" from?
[04:02] ---
    Now, you can't just say that.
[04:04] ---
    Despite how it may seem,
[04:05] ---
    Miss Suzumiya has a
    proper understanding of "normal."
[04:08] ---
    How do you figure that?
[04:10] ---
    She wants the world to be more unusual.
[04:14] ---
    And she has the power to remake the world.
[04:18] ---
    But the world has not
    lost its rationality. That's why.
[04:22] ---
    Hey there! No private discussions!
[04:26] ---
    I hope to get better at sewing.
[04:26] ---
    I hope to get better at cooking.
[04:28] ---
    I think she might have
    the wrong idea about this.
[04:30] ---
    Harmony
[04:30] ---
    Innovation
[04:32] ---
    My family's well-being
[04:32] ---
    World Peace
[04:33] ---
    Mine might be a bit on the ordinary side.
[04:36] ---
    Gimme money
[04:36] ---
    Give me a house
    with a yard big enough to wash a dog in
[04:37] ---
    How crass.
[04:38] ---
    Shut it.
[04:39] ---
    I want the rotation of the Earth
    to go in the opposite direction.
[04:39] ---
    Make the world revolve around me.
[04:40] ---
    Mine are much better than yours.
[04:42] ---
    It's a difference of values.
[04:44] ---
    Be sure to remember
    what you wrote, everyone.
[04:47] ---
    The first checkpoint will be
    in sixteen years, after all.
[04:50] ---
    The challenge is to see
    whose wish Hikoboshi grants!
[04:58] ---
    Sixteen years, huh?
[05:00] ---
    That's a long time...
[05:13] ---
    After that,
[05:15] ---
    Haruhi was strangely quiet,
    and seemed to be melancholy.
[05:18] ---
    Her being so docile was,
    strangely enough, eerie.
[05:22] ---
    The quieter she was, the more
    I was worried about the backlash.
[05:26] ---
    Would you like some more?
[05:29] ---
    Yes, please.
[05:38] ---
    Shh.
[05:40] ---
    So cute.
[05:44] ---
    Please stay in the clubroom,
    even after we're finished. Mikuru
[05:46] ---
    But of course!
[05:58] ---
    I'm going home now.
[05:59] ---
    Last person out lock the door, okay?
[06:05] ---
    In that case, I'll be going, too.
[06:08] ---
    Lucky me!
[06:12] ---
    Hey...
[06:14] ---
    If you'll excuse me.
[06:16] ---
    Right.
[06:18] ---
    Thank goodness we were able
    to stay behind so naturally.
[06:21] ---
    Is this something that it would
    be bad for the others to hear?
[06:25] ---
    Yes...
[06:27] ---
    There's a particular place that
    I want you to come with me to.
[06:31] ---
    That's fine. Where are we going?
[06:34] ---
    Umm...
[06:37] ---
    Three years... ago...
[06:39] ---
    Thr...
[06:41] ---
    I'm sorry to be making
    such a strange request!
[06:45] ---
    You can't?
[06:47] ---
    So this would be time travel, then?
[06:50] ---
    Yes, that's right.
[06:51] ---
    I'm all right with going, but...
[06:54] ---
    Why me, and what are we going to do?
[06:56] ---
    That... You'll know when we get there.
[07:01] ---
    Probably.
[07:03] ---
    Please, don't ask
    anything else, just say yes!
[07:06] ---
    If you don't, then I...
[07:09] ---
    I'll be in trouble...
[07:13] ---
    She's cute!
[07:14] ---
    Well...
[07:17] ---
    Okay, I'll go.
[07:18] ---
    Really? Thank you!
[07:21] ---
    So cute!
[07:23] ---
    Oh, thank goodness...
[07:26] ---
    Now that I think about it,
[07:28] ---
    the only time that Miss Asahina's
    mentioned she's from the future
[07:30] ---
    is when she admitted it to me,
[07:32] ---
    and the only proof of it is
    the existence of the adult Miss Asahina.
[07:36] ---
    This is a perfect chance for me to confirm
[07:39] ---
    that she's a girl from the future.
[07:41] ---
    So, where's your time machine?
[07:43] ---
    We'll be leaving from here.
[07:44] ---
    From here?
[07:53] ---
    Kyon... I'm sorry.
[08:01] ---
    Oh, you're awake!
[08:04] ---
    Please wake up soon...
[08:09] ---
    My legs have gone numb.
[08:17] ---
    Why was I asleep?
[08:19] ---
    I'm sorry, but I didn't want you
    to see how time jumping is performed.
[08:24] ---
    Because it's classified information...
[08:27] ---
    Umm... are you mad?
[08:29] ---
    No, not at all.
[08:30] ---
    If it was Haruhi that did it, I'd hit her.
[08:32] ---
    But since it's you, it's completely okay.
[08:35] ---
    Thank goodness.
[08:36] ---
    So it's three years ago?
[08:39] ---
    July seventh, three years ago.
[08:41] ---
    I'd guess around nine PM?
[08:43] ---
    Really?
[08:44] ---
    Really.
[08:48] ---
    This is the same park that Nagato
    invited me to some time ago.
[08:53] ---
    Is this a mecca for unusual people?
[09:00] ---
    Miss Asahina?
[09:04] ---
    Um...
[09:09] ---
    Could this be some sort of
    declaration of intent?
[09:17] ---
    Hello, Kyon.
[09:19] ---
    Miss Asahina!
[09:24] ---
    So this is how I looked back then.
[09:31] ---
    It was her role to guide you here.
[09:35] ---
    Guiding you from this point on... is mine.
[09:38] ---
    Are you the one
    that put Miss Asahina to sleep?
[09:41] ---
    I couldn't let her see me,
[09:44] ---
    because when I was here,
    as her, I didn't meet me.
[09:48] ---
    Right...
[09:51] ---
    Down those railroad tracks
    over there is a school.
[09:54] ---
    Please help the person
    you meet at the school gate.
[09:57] ---
    And I'm sorry, but please
    give me a piggyback ride.
[10:01] ---
    This feels kind of like a game event.
[10:03] ---
    Do I get an item or something
    as a reward for doing this?
[10:06] ---
    A reward?
[10:09] ---
    Let's see...
[10:12] ---
    I don't have anything that I can give you.
[10:15] ---
    But if you want, you can give
    the sleeping me there a kiss.
[10:19] ---
    But only while she's asleep.
[10:21] ---
    That's a little...
[10:25] ---
    On an emotional and on a situational level,
[10:26] ---
    doing that would go against my principles.
[10:28] ---
    But, well, even still...
[10:30] ---
    It's time. I have to go.
[10:33] ---
    Also, you have to keep
    my being here a secret from her.
[10:36] ---
    Promise me.
[10:38] ---
    Will you pinky swear with me?
[10:41] ---
    Okay, you've sworn!
[10:45] ---
    Goodbye, Kyon.
[10:46] ---
    See you later.
[10:51] ---
    I wonder how long it's been
[10:54] ---
    since this adult Miss Asahina
    and I have seen each other.
[10:57] ---
    It doesn't feel like she's changed much
    from the last time I saw her.
[11:00] ---
    But is this really three years ago?
[11:04] ---
    I need to confirm this, somehow.
[11:06] ---
    Maybe I should call 411.
[11:10] ---
    East Junior High, huh?
[11:16] ---
    Hey.
[11:22] ---
    Who are you?
[11:24] ---
    It does certainly seem like
    I've gone back three years.
[11:27] ---
    This is Haruhi Suzumiya,
    currently a seventh grader.
[11:30] ---
    I asked you who you were.
[11:32] ---
    A pervert? A kidnapper?
[11:34] ---
    What about you, what are you doing?
[11:36] ---
    Isn't it obvious?
    I'm breaking and entering.
[11:38] ---
    How am I supposed to react when
    you just admit your illegal activities?
[11:41] ---
    I don't know who you are,
[11:43] ---
    but if you're not doing anything,
    then help me out.
[11:45] ---
    If you don't, I'll report you.
[11:46] ---
    It's Haruhi. No mistaking it.
[11:51] ---
    This way.
[11:53] ---
    It's a good thing it's dark out.
[11:55] ---
    This way, she won't be able
    to get a good look at our faces.
[11:58] ---
    The Haruhi three years from now
    doesn't seem to remember us at all.
[12:02] ---
    So I think that if it wasn't this way,
    we'd have problems.
[12:06] ---
    I took it out of the storage room
    in the evening and hid it.
[12:09] ---
    Good idea, right?
[12:13] ---
    I'll handle that. You grab the line marker.
[12:19] ---
    So, what are we doing with this?
[12:21] ---
    Draw lines the way I tell you to.
[12:24] ---
    Me?
[12:24] ---
    Right, you.
[12:26] ---
    Because I'm the director.
[12:30] ---
    Hey, the line's shaky over there!
    What are you doing?!
[12:33] ---
    Her willingness to order around
    a high school student she just met
[12:37] ---
    without any problems is so very her.
[12:39] ---
    If I had first met her like this,
    as a junior high school student,
[12:43] ---
    I probably would have thought
    that she was really crazy.
[12:46] ---
    At Haruhi's direction,
[12:48] ---
    I ran this way and that, drawing white lines.
[12:51] ---
    This was the mysterious message
    that Taniguchi had mentioned,
[12:54] ---
    but I never thought that
    I would be the one that drew it...
[12:57] ---
    Hmph. It's okay.
[12:59] ---
    Well, excuse me.
[13:04] ---
    Do you think aliens exist?
[13:06] ---
    Well, that was sudden.
[13:08] ---
    Answer the question.
[13:10] ---
    I guess they do.
[13:11] ---
    What about time travelers?
[13:12] ---
    Wouldn't be strange if there were.
[13:14] ---
    And espers?
[13:16] ---
    There are probably enough of them
    to walk in formation.
[13:18] ---
    People from other dimensions?
[13:19] ---
    I haven't met any of them yet.
[13:23] ---
    That's the uniform for North High, isn't it?
[13:25] ---
    Well, yeah.
[13:26] ---
    What's your name?
[13:28] ---
    John Smith.
[13:30] ---
    Are you stupid or something?
[13:31] ---
    Let's just say that
    I want to stay anonymous.
[13:34] ---
    Who's the girl you were carrying?
[13:36] ---
    My big sister.
[13:37] ---
    She had a sudden case of narcolepsy.
[13:40] ---
    She falls asleep regardless of location,
[13:42] ---
    so I was carrying her.
[13:43] ---
    Hmph.
[13:44] ---
    So, what in the world is this?
[13:47] ---
    Can't you tell by looking? It's a message.
[13:49] ---
    It's not for Orihime or Hikoboshi, is it?
[13:52] ---
    How did you know that?
[13:54] ---
    Well, it is Tanabata.
[13:56] ---
    I just remembered someone I knew
    doing something similar.
[13:59] ---
    Huh. I'd love to meet that person.
[14:02] ---
    So, that person goes to North High?
[14:03] ---
    You could say that.
[14:06] ---
    North High, huh?
[14:12] ---
    I'm going home.
    I've accomplished my goal, after all.
[14:15] ---
    Bye.
[14:16] ---
    And not even a thanks for helping her.
[14:20] ---
    Miss Asahina.
[14:27] ---
    Where am I?!
[14:28] ---
    What happened and when is it right now?!
[14:30] ---
    Umm...
[14:35] ---
    I don't have my TPDD...
[14:37] ---
    Huh?
[14:38] ---
    It's gone...
[14:42] ---
    What's wrong? What's a "TPDD"?
[14:46] ---
    It's classified, but...
[14:48] ---
    It's like a time machine.
[14:51] ---
    Why would it be gone?
[14:53] ---
    I don't know.
[14:55] ---
    I should have it, but I've lost it.
[14:59] ---
    Will anyone come save us?
[15:01] ---
    There's no way...
[15:02] ---
    So, what's going to happen to us?
[15:05] ---
    We're stuck like this.
[15:07] ---
    We're going to be left
    in this time plane, three years prior,
[15:11] ---
    unable to go back to our own time!
[15:14] ---
    This is a pretty grave matter.
[15:16] ---
    It is!
[15:19] ---
    But for some reason,
    I didn't feel any sense of urgency.
[15:23] ---
    It was probably the adult Miss Asahina
    that took that TPDD-thingy.
[15:27] ---
    That's probably why she came to the past.
[15:30] ---
    As for why, it would be so that she could
[15:31] ---
    experience losing the TPDD when she was here.
[15:39] ---
    I think that things are
    going to turn out all right.
[15:41] ---
    What?
[15:51] ---
    Is this the home of a Miss Yuki Nagato?
[15:57] ---
    I'm not really sure what to say, but...
[16:04] ---
    Will you understand if I say
    I'm an acquaintance of Haruhi Suzumiya?
[16:18] ---
    Yo.
[16:21] ---
    Is it all right for us to come in?
[16:24] ---
    And that is who we are and why we're here.
[16:28] ---
    Also, the you three years
    from now gave me this.
[16:39] ---
    I understand.
[16:40] ---
    As far as you're concerned,
    this is the first time we've met, right?
[16:44] ---
    Yes.
[16:45] ---
    Requesting access to the memory
    of the unit in the other time plane.
[16:48] ---
    I have downloaded the information
[16:50] ---
    from the opposite side
    of the linked time boundary.
[16:52] ---
    The me that exists three years
    from now and I are the same being.
[16:56] ---
    The me three years from now
    and I have shared our memories.
[17:00] ---
    How?
[17:01] ---
    We synchronized.
[17:03] ---
    I don't understand.
[17:11] ---
    Why are you wearing a North High uniform?
[17:13] ---
    Are you already enrolled?
[17:15] ---
    I am not. The current me is in standby mode.
[17:18] ---
    Standby?
[17:19] ---
    So you intend to be in standby
    for almost three years?
[17:21] ---
    Yes.
[17:22] ---
    That sounds like an awfully long process.
[17:25] ---
    That is my role.
[17:30] ---
    There is more than one way
    to travel through time.
[17:33] ---
    The TPDD is not the only device
    that can control time.
[17:36] ---
    It's uncertain and primitive.
[17:38] ---
    Umm... What do you mean?
[17:40] ---
    The movement of life forms that use the TPDD
[17:44] ---
    is within tolerable ranges, but it creates noise.
[17:47] ---
    To us, it is an imperfect form.
[17:49] ---
    By "us," do you mean the Thought Entity?
[17:52] ---
    Miss Nagato, are you able to travel
    through time in a perfect form?
[17:56] ---
    The form does not matter.
[17:58] ---
    As long as information can travel
    back and forth, it is enough.
[18:14] ---
    You don't mean to say
    that we should sleep in here, do you?
[18:17] ---
    Yes.
[18:18] ---
    Together, with Miss Asahina?
[18:20] ---
    Yes.
[18:22] ---
    Lie down.
[18:22] ---
    Straight to the point!
[18:23] ---
    You'll just be sleeping.
[18:25] ---
    Well, that's my intention, too, but...
[18:30] ---
    I... I guess we don't have any choice
    but to do what we're told...
[18:33] ---
    Yes...
[19:06] ---
    What, really?
[19:08] ---
    What's the matter? Is that the TPDD?
[19:11] ---
    No, this is simply a radio wave watch.
[19:15] ---
    Thank goodness, we're back.
[19:17] ---
    It's just after 9:30 PM
    on the July 7th that we left from.
[19:24] ---
    How did you do it?
[19:25] ---
    I suspended the flow of information
    inside of a selected time-space.
[19:29] ---
    I then released the time suspension
[19:31] ---
    at a predesignated point
    in the time-space continuum.
[19:33] ---
    You mean you stopped time?!
[19:36] ---
    Miss Nagato stopped time
    in this room for three years.
[19:41] ---
    And when today came around,
    she released the time stop... right?
[19:46] ---
    Yes.
[19:47] ---
    I can't believe it!
[19:49] ---
    Which means, in other words...
[19:51] ---
    That time when you told me
    you were an alien and stuff...
[19:55] ---
    ...Miss Asahina and I
    were in the next room, asleep?
[19:58] ---
    Yes.
[20:02] ---
    I always thought that you were pretty clever,
[20:05] ---
    but you're actually omnipotent, aren't you?
[20:06] ---
    That's not true.
[20:08] ---
    This was a special case.
[20:09] ---
    Emergency mode.
[20:11] ---
    It doesn't happen often.
    It has to be something rare.
[20:15] ---
    Thank you.
[20:16] ---
    It was nothing.
[20:25] ---
    Can you read what this says?
[20:27] ---
    "I am here."
[20:30] ---
    That's what it says.
[20:33] ---
    Could it be that it's written
    in the language of some alien race?
[20:41] ---
    Nagato didn't answer me.
[20:45] ---
    I'm sorry. Actually, I...
[20:48] ---
    I don't really understand.
[20:51] ---
    I'm just an underling...
[20:53] ---
    No, not even that.
[20:55] ---
    I mean, I'm more like a trainee, so...
[20:58] ---
    And yet you're hanging around with Haruhi.
[21:01] ---
    Well, I never thought that
    Miss Suzumiya would catch me!
[21:10] ---
    All I do is obey the orders of my superior...
[21:14] ---
    Maybe I should say the people above me.
[21:18] ---
    So sometimes I don't understand
    the things that I'm doing.
[21:24] ---
    I wonder if her superior
    is the adult Miss Asahina.
[21:29] ---
    The adult Miss Asahina had to know
    how things turned out for us.
[21:34] ---
    But it looks like she didn't
    tell this Miss Asahina any of it.
[21:38] ---
    I guess that people from the future
    have their own rules and laws.
[21:43] ---
    I'm sure that someone will tell her.
[21:45] ---
    When everything falls into place.
[21:49] ---
    The next day was, of course, July eighth.
[21:52] ---
    Consciously I knew that it was the next day,
[21:55] ---
    but physically, it had been
    three years and a day
[21:57] ---
    since I had come to school.
[22:03] ---
    What's wrong? Did you eat
    a poison mushroom or something?
[22:06] ---
    Not really. I'm just melancholy
    from remembering some stuff.
[22:09] ---
    Memories from previous Tanabatas.
[22:14] ---
    Is that so?
[22:16] ---
    Hey, Nagato.
[22:18] ---
    Miss Asahina really is from the future, right?
[22:20] ---
    Yes.
[22:21] ---
    If that's the case,
    it feels like the processes that link
[22:24] ---
    the past and the future
    don't quite add up right.
[22:26] ---
    What do you mean?
[22:28] ---
    Previously, Miss Asahina said that
[22:30] ---
    there's no connection
    between the past and the future.
[22:32] ---
    But in going back three years,
[22:34] ---
    I provided Haruhi
    with knowledge she didn't need.
[22:38] ---
    She ended up coming to North High,
[22:40] ---
    and she started looking
    for people who weren't normal...
[22:44] ---
    There's a chance that's why.
[22:48] ---
    There's a definite connection
    between the past and the future.
[22:51] ---
    This contradicts the explanation
    that Miss Asahina gave me.
[22:53] ---
    A contradictory set of theories
    cannot explain its own contradictions.
[23:00] ---
    Is that supposed to be an explanation?
[23:03] ---
    You'll eventually understand.
[23:11] ---
    This is what she means.
[23:12] ---
    Right now, my king is currently
    in check by your rook.
[23:17] ---
    "Oh no, what do I do? Where shall I flee to?"
[23:24] ---
    Now, what was contradictory
    about what I just did?
[23:28] ---
    In our case, the king
    really isn't all that important.
[23:33] ---
    What's important to us is the queen.
[23:36] ---
    I see.
[23:37] ---
    I don't know when something will happen next,
[23:40] ---
    but when it does, I hope it doesn't
    require so much thinking.
[23:43] ---
    I'd prefer that things stay nice and peaceful.
[23:45] ---
    Would you prefer for something to happen?
[23:51] ---
    Why, you!
[24:04] ---
    It fell from the sky
[24:07] ---
    With all of the wishes that were made upon it
[24:09] ---
    Maybe it was a little too heavy for a single star
[24:15] ---
    Something just doesn't seem right
[24:17] ---
    The image of you in my mind has vanished
[24:20] ---
    Can I say that I remember you clearly?
[24:24] ---
    Stop!
[24:26] ---
    The past belongs to me
[24:30] ---
    Of course I don't want
    to trade it with anyone else
[24:36] ---
    That's because
[24:38] ---
    It was my birthday,
    and when we saw each other
[24:43] ---
    We could see the first dream
[24:46] ---
    That we had when we were born
[24:48] ---
    Worrying about "what do I do?"
[24:53] ---
    Is laughable when I think about it now
[24:57] ---
    I've already forgotten it
[25:00] ---
    Let's search for you

E9 - Bamboo Leaf Rhapsody
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:22] ---
    Haruhi, melancholy during the Star Festival...
[00:25] ---
    ...had recovered from her
    melancholy state during finals...
[00:30] ---
    ...and is acting on her own whim again.
[00:32] ---
    As for me, it's like the blue baton
    was handed to me in response...
[00:37] ---
    ...and I'm in a heavy depression.
[00:40] ---
    Haruhi, who was taking the test behind me...
[00:43] ---
    ...always seems to have time left over...
[00:45] ---
    ...and was sound asleep
    30 minutes before the test ended.
[00:49] ---
    Annoying. Oh, it's annoying, annoying.
[00:57] ---
    The answer is always in my heart.
[01:04] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
[01:12] ---
    I don't know why, but I chose you.
[01:18] ---
    It won't stop now. Mr. Destiny deemed it so.
[01:24] ---
    I believe it's boring to just mimic.
[01:30] ---
    You'll be right, so I'll do what I feel as I feel it.
[01:39] ---
    It's an adventure, right, right?
[01:41] ---
    In this world where truth becomes fiction.
[01:46] ---
    We become stronger
    because we have dreams...
[01:50] ---
    ...not for the sake of someone.
[01:53] ---
    Please come with me.
[01:56] ---
    See me and my endlessly free self.
[02:02] ---
    Today's present that becomes
    tomorrow's past is the miracle.
[02:08] ---
    Let's grab the future.
[02:14] ---
    I believe you...
[02:23] ---
    Haruhi says there's
[02:25] ---
    no such thing as a break for the SOS Brigade.
[02:25] ---
    Mysterique Sign
[02:28] ---
    Even when club activities stop during exams...
[02:31] ---
    ...this strange, non-activity brigade,
    like a convenience store...
[02:35] ---
    ...was open daily without a holiday.
[02:38] ---
    Hey, look at this.
[02:45] ---
    What is it?
[02:46] ---
    Isn't it obvious?
[02:48] ---
    I don't know. At all.
[02:50] ---
    An emblem for my SOS Brigade!
[02:53] ---
    An emblem? It's just a drunken
    tapeworm wrapped around a tube.
[02:58] ---
    Look closer!
[03:00] ---
    See? It says "SOS Brigade"
    in the middle, right?
[03:05] ---
    Now that she said it,
    I could kind of see it and kind of not...
[03:08] ---
    ...but it's not like I'd loudly disagree.
[03:12] ---
    How many double negatives did I use?
[03:15] ---
    Bored people can count.
[03:17] ---
    You have the most time!
[03:19] ---
    Anyway, I'm thinking of putting it
    as the SOS Brigade's top page.
[03:24] ---
    The site only has a top page.
[03:26] ---
    This site you made isn't getting any visitors.
[03:30] ---
    It makes me mad.
[03:31] ---
    There's nothing that livens it up.
    It's because you got in the way.
[03:35] ---
    I was drawing a crowd
    with erotic pictures of Mikuru too.
[03:39] ---
    So I thought about posting
    a symbol for the SOS Brigade.
[03:44] ---
    Get this stupid homepage off the Net already.
[03:48] ---
    The counter hasn't gotten three digits...
[03:51] ---
    ...and 90% of the hits
    were you checking up on things.
[03:54] ---
    How about writing a diary?
    An activity log is the leader's duty.
[03:59] ---
    It's a hassle.
[04:01] ---
    It's a hassle for me too...
[04:04] ---
    Now, Kyon, make this symbol
    show up at the top of the site.
[04:09] ---
    Do it yourself.
[04:10] ---
    I'm brigade leader. It's my job to give orders.
[04:14] ---
    Besides, if I did everything,
    there'd be nothing for you, right?
[04:19] ---
    Use your head a little.
[04:21] ---
    Humans won't improve
    just doing what they're told.
[04:25] ---
    Are you saying to do it
    or not to do it? Which is it?
[04:29] ---
    Enough, get to it!
[04:33] ---
    I reluctantly shrunk artisan
    Haruhi's tapeworm illustration...
[04:37] ---
    ...into an appropriate size,
    pasted it into the file, and uploaded it.
[04:43] ---
    From tomorrow till summer break,
    exams are off: a short respite.
[04:48] ---
    The teachers mark the wrong
    answers with red ink now.
[04:51] ---
    Damned annoying.
[04:53] ---
    I'll seek some small solace
    with a good look at Miss Asahina.
[04:57] ---
    I knocked on the door, expecting a "yes?"
    in Miss Asahina's slight lisp.
[05:02] ---
    Come in.
[05:05] ---
    What, it's just you?
[05:07] ---
    Yuki's here too.
[05:10] ---
    She's more of a room fixture,
    so don't count her as a member.
[05:14] ---
    Officially, she's in the lit club.
    But I should rephrase myself now.
[05:18] ---
    What, it's just you and Nagato?
[05:20] ---
    Are you filing a claim against that?
[05:23] ---
    If I wrote out every claim against you...
[05:26] ---
    ...I'd fill both sides of
    an A4-sized page with words.
[05:29] ---
    Since you knocked,
    I thought we had a visitor here.
[05:34] ---
    I'm being careful not to see
    Miss Asahina change accidentally.
[05:39] ---
    That lovely, innocent being
    doesn't quite get locking doors...
[05:43] ---
    What's this about a visitor?
[05:45] ---
    You don't remember?
[05:47] ---
    Don't say something about
    a Star Festival three years ago.
[05:51] ---
    It's something you did...
    without getting my permission.
[05:55] ---
    What's that...?
[05:57] ---
    Those posters you put up.
[05:59] ---
    Oh, those...
[06:01] ---
    Actually, I used to
    work on the student council...
[06:05] ---
    ...to keep the SOS Brigade as
    a jack-of-all-trades advice center.
[06:08] ---
    'Accepting people seeking advice
    for sensitive issues.' - SOS Brigade
[06:09] ---
    I drew a poster
    and put it on every bulletin board I saw.
[06:13] ---
    Anyway, take a look at this.
    Something's strange here.
[06:17] ---
    I wonder if the PC's acting up or something?
[06:20] ---
    The SOS Brigade emblem was
    warped like it was gather filtered.
[06:25] ---
    The counter and title logo had flown off...
[06:27] ---
    ...becoming subtly different
    than the page I made.
[06:33] ---
    Looks like the server's file is corrupt.
    How long was it like this?
[06:37] ---
    Dunno, it was when I looked today.
    Where can I file the claim?
[06:42] ---
    It's not even worth filing a claim.
[06:42] ---
    Confirm Folder Replace
[06:43] ---
    Uploading
[06:51] ---
    It's strange. It could be those
    hackers or crackers I've heard of.
[06:55] ---
    No way. It's just an error.
[06:58] ---
    It's irritating.
[06:59] ---
    Is someone doing
    a cyberterrorist attack on us?
[07:03] ---
    Who is it? When I find out...
[07:05] ---
    ...I'll force 30 days of
    community service without a trial.
[07:10] ---
    Come in.
[07:11] ---
    Oh, how unusual. Miss Asahina isn't here yet?
[07:15] ---
    Don't the juniors have more exams?
[07:18] ---
    You can just go home...
[07:20] ---
    Why do you all gather to a place like this?
[07:23] ---
    And Haruhi, why don't you
    question Koizumi knocking?
[07:33] ---
    I look forward to Miss Asahina's tea.
[07:38] ---
    That's not it!
[07:39] ---
    No, no! Right!
[07:39] ---
    And for a while afterwards...
[07:41] ---
    No, left! I'm telling you!
[07:41] ---
    ...I was forced to cater to Haruhi's impossible orders.
[07:44] ---
    That's not it!
[07:46] ---
    It was the sound of the bell that saved me.
[07:47] ---
    Come in!
[07:51] ---
    I'm sorry I'm late.
[07:53] ---
    I had exams till fourth period.
[07:55] ---
    With a humble apology, the arrival...
[07:57] ---
    ...no, descent of the
    clubroom angel, Miss Asahina.
[08:01] ---
    Well, um, let's see...
[08:06] ---
    U-Um, I brought a visitor with me.
[08:15] ---
    Believe it or not...
[08:17] ---
    ...the first person seeking advice has arrived.
[08:21] ---
    She was Emiri Kimidori,
    a junior who seemed very quiet and pure.
[08:25] ---
    So you want the SOS Brigade
    to find your missing boyfriend?
[08:31] ---
    Yes...
[08:36] ---
    It seems that she really
    misunderstood our objective...
[08:40] ---
    ...as either a jack-of-all-trades
    advice center or mobile task force.
[08:44] ---
    So what was on your mind...?
[08:47] ---
    He hasn't come to school for days on end now.
[08:51] ---
    Have you called?
[08:52] ---
    He doesn't answer his cell or home phone.
[08:55] ---
    I even tried visiting his house,
    but nobody was home.
[08:59] ---
    And this boyfriend's family?
[09:01] ---
    He lives alone.
[09:03] ---
    I heard before that his parents lived overseas.
[09:07] ---
    But I don't have their contact address.
[09:10] ---
    Overseas? Canada?
[09:12] ---
    No, I believe in Honduras.
[09:15] ---
    Honduras, indeed!
[09:18] ---
    "Indeed" what?
[09:19] ---
    I doubt she knows where it is.
[09:22] ---
    Let's see... Somewhere below Mexico?
[09:25] ---
    The house was pitch black
    at night too. It worries me.
[09:30] ---
    I understand how you feel.
[09:33] ---
    Liar. There's no way you'd understand love.
[09:35] ---
    But I'm surprised you'd
    come to us. What's your reason?
[09:40] ---
    He used to talk about the SOS Brigade often.
[09:45] ---
    Who is this boyfriend?
[09:49] ---
    Well...
[09:49] ---
    ...is his name.
[09:51] ---
    Who was that?
[09:53] ---
    He sounded like he got along
    really well with the SOS Brigade.
[10:00] ---
    He's the chief of the computer club.
[10:06] ---
    Haruhi forcefully photographed him
    sexually harassing Miss Asahina.
[10:10] ---
    He was blackmailed into giving
    Haruhi a state-of-the-art PC.
[10:15] ---
    That poor chief who tearfully ran the cables.
[10:18] ---
    I totally forgot about him.
[10:21] ---
    All right, we'll do something about this.
[10:24] ---
    Miss Kimidori, you're in luck.
[10:26] ---
    As the very first client,
    I'll solve this case for free.
[10:31] ---
    You were planning on charging?
[10:40] ---
    Hey, you accepted so easily...
[10:43] ---
    ...but what'll you do if you can't solve this?
[10:46] ---
    We can.
[10:47] ---
    I'm sure he's suffering from
    the May blues two months late.
[10:52] ---
    We just walk into his room,
    give a few punches, and drag him out.
[10:56] ---
    She's really thinking that.
[10:58] ---
    But with a girlfriend like Miss Kimidori...
[11:01] ---
    ...why is he cooping himself up?
[11:04] ---
    Are you good friends with Miss Kimidori?
[11:07] ---
    I've never spoken to her before.
[11:10] ---
    She should consult a teacher or the police...
[11:13] ---
    No, she did and wasn't taken seriously...
[11:16] ---
    ...so she came to us for help.
[11:19] ---
    I think that's it.
[11:21] ---
    Looks like Haruhi's using this
    to get bigger cases...
[11:24] ---
    ...and solve every single one of them in turn.
[11:28] ---
    It might be a good idea to pass out
    fliers at the front gate again.
[11:33] ---
    The chief's place wasn't
    the best or worst, not new or old...
[11:37] ---
    ...a typical one-room condo with
    three and a half floors and basement.
[11:42] ---
    All right.
[11:45] ---
    It's here.
[11:48] ---
    I wonder if we can open this somehow...
[11:51] ---
    You usually do that in reverse.
[11:53] ---
    The veranda in the back?
[11:56] ---
    Can't we get in by breaking the glass?
[11:59] ---
    It's a third-floor room, and we're
    not a group of adolescent burglars.
[12:04] ---
    I don't want a record.
[12:06] ---
    True, let's go to
    the manager and borrow a key.
[12:10] ---
    He'll lend one to concerned friends.
[12:13] ---
    You use that excuse a lot.
[12:19] ---
    Eyes like liquid helium were staring at me.
[12:24] ---
    Oh, it was open? I didn't realize.
[12:27] ---
    Okay. Now, let's go in.
[12:29] ---
    I'm sure he's hiding under the bed...
[12:32] ---
    ...so let's drag him out and grab him.
[12:34] ---
    She doesn't feel an ounce of guilt
    for whisking a PC away from him.
[12:42] ---
    This is strange.
[12:43] ---
    I totally thought he'd be
    a ball in the corner cradling his knees.
[12:47] ---
    Kyon, where would someone
    with two-month-late May blues go?
[12:53] ---
    Traveling Central and South America,
    or seriously fooling society's eyes.
[12:57] ---
    It's best to leave.
[12:59] ---
    It's the first time I've heard her voice today.
[13:02] ---
    I concur.
[13:03] ---
    Lighten up. Don't breathe on me.
[13:05] ---
    Your face is too close. It's disgusting.
[13:07] ---
    I feel strangely uneasy.
[13:10] ---
    I know a similar feeling...
[13:11] ---
    I found warabi mochi!
[13:13] ---
    The "use by" date is three days ago.
    It's a waste to toss it, so let's eat it.
[13:19] ---
    Now, Mikuru, say "aah"...
[13:19] ---
    No, I don't...
[13:23] ---
    "Aah."
[13:23] ---
    Similar to what?
[13:25] ---
    An enclosed space.
    This room has a similar scent.
[13:29] ---
    Come to think of it, you're a real esper...
[13:32] ---
    A dimensional layer exists.
    A relativity shift is taking place.
[13:37] ---
    Looks like it'd be best
    to get the hell out of here.
[13:46] ---
    I'm starving. Let's call it a day. Dismissed.
[13:49] ---
    Hey, what about the case?
[13:51] ---
    It'll work out.
[13:53] ---
    See you!
[13:54] ---
    Looks like she's bored already.
[14:01] ---
    Um, what's the matter?
[14:03] ---
    Gathering back so she doesn't see us...
[14:07] ---
    That room seems to be
    on the minds of those two.
[14:10] ---
    Right?
[14:11] ---
    Yes.
[14:13] ---
    I'm sure we'll know why
    if we go again. Right, Miss Nagato?
[14:20] ---
    A localized, noncorrosive,
    fused alternate space in this room...
[14:24] ---
    ...is in discrete limited mode.
[14:27] ---
    It's like you skimmed a dictionary,
    reciting words that caught your eye.
[14:31] ---
    Sensibly, it's similar to those enclosed spaces.
[14:35] ---
    Miss Suzumiya made those,
    but this one has a different scent.
[14:39] ---
    Miss Nagato, is this abnormal space
    responsible for the missing chief?
[14:44] ---
    Yes.
[14:49] ---
    I should've told her to wait...
[14:55] ---
    Frantically trying to verify where I was,
    I couldn't enjoy the sensation.
[15:00] ---
    We were in a small one-room condo,
    not this eerie place.
[15:05] ---
    Analyzing entry code.
[15:07] ---
    It overlaps standard space.
    It's merely out of phase.
[15:10] ---
    It's not like enclosed spaces...
[15:12] ---
    Deceptively similar, but some spatial data...
[15:15] ---
    ...seems to have "junk" information
    emitted from Haruhi Suzumiya.
[15:20] ---
    How much?
[15:21] ---
    Trivial levels. She was only the trigger.
[15:24] ---
    I see. That's what happened...
[15:27] ---
    Miss Asahina and I are left in the dark?
[15:30] ---
    The computer club chief is here?
[15:33] ---
    It seems.
[15:34] ---
    This alternate space manifested...
[15:37] ---
    ...and for some reason, he became trapped.
[15:40] ---
    Where is he?
[15:43] ---
    Wait!
[15:44] ---
    Could you tell me what you'll do?
    I want time to mentally prepare.
[15:49] ---
    Nothing.
[15:51] ---
    It's here.
[15:53] ---
    What was that?
[15:55] ---
    I feel a definite sense of animosity.
[15:58] ---
    They have means of defending themselves...
[16:01] ---
    ...but Miss Asahina and I can't rest assured.
[16:04] ---
    You don't have laser guns or anything?
[16:07] ---
    Firearms are forbidden. They're dangerous.
[16:10] ---
    I can understand. She'd be useless with them.
[16:14] ---
    Moreover, she might forget it
    inside a train or something.
[16:22] ---
    Are you familiar with camel crickets?
[16:24] ---
    I really want to show the scene
    before me to those who aren't.
[16:28] ---
    What is this?
[16:29] ---
    A camel cricket.
[16:30] ---
    I know. Never mind.
[16:32] ---
    This dimension's creator.
[16:34] ---
    Haruhi's doing this?
[16:36] ---
    The cause is different, but the catalyst was her.
[16:40] ---
    You can move now.
[16:45] ---
    It seems my powers are
    enabled here, though partially.
[16:50] ---
    A tenth of an enclosed space's potency.
[16:53] ---
    Perhaps this was determined to be enough.
[16:56] ---
    Before that, Nagato, what is
    that insect, and where is the chief?
[17:01] ---
    An information entity subspecies.
[17:03] ---
    It's using the male student's brain
    to increase its chance of survival.
[17:08] ---
    By any chance, is the chief inside?
[17:10] ---
    Itself.
[17:11] ---
    I see. This camel cricket is
    an image of the chief's fears...
[17:16] ---
    ...and its defeat means this space's destruction.
[17:19] ---
    Am I mistaken?
[17:20] ---
    No mistakes.
[17:21] ---
    Then things are simple.
[17:24] ---
    I'm going insane thanks to
    Miss Asahina who's around my waist.
[17:29] ---
    It's restricting movement. I can't run.
[17:31] ---
    It'll be over soon.
[17:34] ---
    Do it quickly.
[17:36] ---
    Roger that.
[17:39] ---
    Fumoffu!
[17:52] ---
    Force field?
[17:58] ---
    A scarab has tended to its wounds!
[18:07] ---
    Second Raid!
[18:12] ---
    Did that do it?
[18:16] ---
    No good after all?
[18:28] ---
    Is it over?
[18:34] ---
    It seems he's still alive.
[18:36] ---
    The space was back to
    a small one-room condo.
[18:44] ---
    An incident from 280 million years ago.
[18:47] ---
    When it descended to Earth,
    there was no means for it to survive.
[18:52] ---
    It went into hibernation to preserve itself.
[18:55] ---
    When humans created
    computer networks, it partly aroused...
[19:00] ---
    ...and awoke with
    immeasurable data from another world.
[19:06] ---
    The data from another world...
[19:09] ---
    ...was the SOS Brigade emblem Haruhi drew.
[19:11] ---
    It was the cue.
[19:13] ---
    This emblem, in earthly measurement terms...
[19:16] ---
    ...has roughly 436 petabytes of information.
[19:19] ---
    That's impossible. It wasn't even 100k.
[19:22] ---
    The symbol she casually drew
    was of such caliber...
[19:25] ---
    That's Miss Suzumiya all right.
[19:28] ---
    I was seriously becoming afraid.
[19:32] ---
    It's too good a story.
    The creation of the SOS Brigade.
[19:35] ---
    Miss Asahina making the perfect mascot.
[19:38] ---
    Koizumi transferring.
    Nagato always being there.
[19:41] ---
    They became members. Furthermore...
[19:44] ---
    ...Miss Asahina's from the future,
    and Nagato's alienesque.
[19:47] ---
    If this was all Haruhi's conception,
    it's too good to be true...
[19:53] ---
    Koizumi says it's because
    Haruhi wished it, but I don't believe it.
[19:57] ---
    Since I'm just a normal guy.
[20:00] ---
    But if all of Haruhi's actions
    have something behind them...
[20:05] ---
    Did she choose me as a member
    because just like these three...
[20:10] ---
    ...I have some insane
    superpower or crazy identity?
[20:17] ---
    What the hell am I?
[20:20] ---
    To put it straight, I'm the
    SOS Brigade's only good conscience.
[20:24] ---
    I'm in the SOS Brigade to stop
    Haruhi's illegal "club activities"...
[20:28] ---
    ...and make her live a normal high school life.
[20:31] ---
    So what was that camel cricket?
[20:34] ---
    An information entity.
[20:35] ---
    Your patron's relative?
[20:37] ---
    The roots are the same,
    but its race diverged and perished.
[20:42] ---
    So you thought, till we found a survivor here.
[20:45] ---
    Why hibernate on Earth of all places?
[20:48] ---
    Neptune would've been fine.
[20:50] ---
    To think the Internet's rise would be
    a pseudo-evil overlord's nursery.
[20:55] ---
    Something's strange.
[20:57] ---
    Nothing happened
    when Haruhi showed it here...
[21:00] ---
    ...or back when she first finished drawing it.
[21:04] ---
    There's been an alternate space here awhile.
[21:07] ---
    All sorts of elements and fields cancel out...
[21:10] ---
    ...so the area is saturated,
    with no room for anything else.
[21:15] ---
    I didn't realize the clubroom
    was such an ominous den.
[21:19] ---
    I think it's harmless... probably.
[21:22] ---
    Oh, brother...
[21:23] ---
    I don't want to go insane or
    look for a noose without realizing it.
[21:28] ---
    I'm doing my best to prevent that.
[21:31] ---
    I hope things aren't like this
    because you're doing your best...
[21:37] ---
    The access counter has almost 30,000 hits.
[21:40] ---
    This information entity multiplies
    by spreading hyperlinks.
[21:45] ---
    An algorithm replicates in
    the brains of the sign's viewers...
[21:49] ---
    ...and creates enclosed spaces.
[21:51] ---
    But since the data became corrupt...
[21:54] ---
    ...not all the viewers are in
    the same situation as the chief.
[21:59] ---
    According to Nagato,
    eight idiots saw the correct sign.
[22:02] ---
    Five were North High students.
    Guess we'll have to save them.
[22:06] ---
    Hey, damn it! Gather around!
[22:09] ---
    When you get a good look,
    it actually says "ZOZ Brigade."
[22:14] ---
    Nagato modified the symbol,
    and I pasted it back.
[22:17] ---
    The chief's in school.
[22:19] ---
    Oh, that's nice.
[22:21] ---
    So it was May blues or just a lovers' quarrel.
[22:24] ---
    Before that, it's amazing!
    The counter's at 30,000!
[22:28] ---
    In the end, people who
    see a good thing are watching.
[22:32] ---
    Can it be...?
[22:35] ---
    Was she the one who destroyed the data?
[22:38] ---
    And our client, Miss Kimidori...
[22:41] ---
    I asked the chief,
    and he didn't have a girlfriend.
[22:44] ---
    Nagato was always in the center
    of this drawn-out scenario.
[22:48] ---
    I wouldn't be a bit surprised
    if this omnipotent alien terminal...
[22:52] ---
    ...brought us this case via Miss Kimidori.
[22:56] ---
    Perhaps to rid Haruhi's boredom
    with this client stuff, even a little.
[23:01] ---
    She probably usually prevents
    these funny things on her own...
[23:07] ---
    ...quietly from the shadows.
[23:11] ---
    Or, Nagato, was us getting
    involved what you hoped for?
[23:16] ---
    An android made by aliens,
    living in a desolate room for years...
[23:21] ---
    Nagato, do you have times after all...
[23:25] ---
    ...when you feel lonely being all by yourself?
[23:39] ---
    If we figured out the globe
    like we would a riddle...
[23:45] ---
    ...we could all go anywhere together.
[23:48] ---
    To the end of time, BOOOON!
[23:51] ---
    This feeling that is a warp and a loop.
[23:55] ---
    With an imagination that engulfs
    anything and everything, let's play.
[24:01] ---
    Something on one sunny day,
    more fun than any magic possible...
[24:06] ---
    ...endlessly pours down. It's not impossible.
[24:12] ---
    When we meet again tomorrow,
    we're all humming as we smile.
[24:17] ---
    Let's gather happiness. Such a thing is so easy.
[24:23] ---
    Chase after me. Try to catch it.
[24:28] ---
    A big dream... You like dreams, right?

E10 - Remote Island Syndrome (Part One)
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:23] ---
    Tell me what you're scheming.
[00:25] ---
    Nothing. Really.
[00:28] ---
    The syndicate has nothing to do with this.
[00:31] ---
    I did report this though.
    Isn't a retreat good for us?
[00:35] ---
    What gets me is that it was all set up by you.
[00:39] ---
    Miss Suzumiya is interested in
    privately owned deserted islands.
[00:44] ---
    She mentioned closed circles.
[00:46] ---
    What's that?
[00:48] ---
    A mystery term.
[00:50] ---
    A condition where outside contact is cut.
[00:53] ---
    Blizzard-isolated mountain shacks...
[00:55] ---
    ...or boarding houses cut off
    by a typhoon breaking the bridge?
[00:59] ---
    Thanks to the surroundings,
    the parties are cut off there.
[01:03] ---
    In other words, closed off.
[01:05] ---
    How's that related to this retreat?
[01:08] ---
    It's a secluded deserted island.
[01:10] ---
    If a storm comes, it'll be the ideal setting...
[01:14] ---
    ...for a closed circle, outside a
    blizzard-isolated mountain shack.
[01:18] ---
    Why am I talking to Koizumi
    in the middle of the big, blue sea?
[01:23] ---
    The day I finally got over Black Monday
    (when we got tests back)...
[01:28] ---
    The story goes back to that meeting.
[01:35] ---
    The answer is always in my heart.
[01:42] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
[01:50] ---
    I don't know why, but I chose you.
[01:56] ---
    It won't stop now. Mr. Destiny deemed it so.
[02:02] ---
    I believe it's boring to just mimic.
[02:08] ---
    You'll be right, so I'll do what I feel as I feel it.
[02:17] ---
    It's an adventure, right, right?
[02:19] ---
    In this world where truth becomes fiction.
[02:24] ---
    We become stronger
    because we have dreams...
[02:28] ---
    ...not for the sake of someone.
[02:31] ---
    Please come with me.
[02:34] ---
    See me and my endlessly free self.
[02:40] ---
    Today's present that becomes
    tomorrow's past is the miracle.
[02:45] ---
    Let's grab the future.
[02:52] ---
    I believe you...
[03:01] ---
    Everyone's here.
[03:03] ---
    Today's meeting will be very important.
[03:03] ---
    Remote Island Syndrome Part 1
[03:05] ---
    I might make whoever came later than me...
[03:08] ---
    ...the eternal "it" for kick the can.
[03:11] ---
    Of course, I never heard there was
    going to be a meeting today.
[03:15] ---
    The SOS Brigade will have
    its first retreat this summer break!
[03:20] ---
    Retreat?
[03:21] ---
    Right. Retreat.
[03:22] ---
    What good does that do us?
[03:24] ---
    The location's decided. Right, Koizumi?
[03:27] ---
    One of my distant relatives is awfully rich.
[03:31] ---
    So rich that he bought a deserted
    island and built a summer house.
[03:36] ---
    That mansion recently
    had its completion ceremony.
[03:45] ---
    Rejoice, Koizumi.
[03:47] ---
    You jump two ranks for this achievement.
[03:51] ---
    I name you the SOS Brigade's vice-leader!
[03:52] ---
    Vice-leader
[03:54] ---
    I gladly accept.
[03:58] ---
    I'm not jealous.
[04:00] ---
    A three-night, four-day, luxurious tour!
[04:03] ---
    We're gonna go!
[04:04] ---
    I'm sure something
    very interesting is waiting there.
[04:08] ---
    And my role has already been determined.
[04:12] ---
    Supersleuth
[04:14] ---
    Now, let's think about a supersleuth.
[04:17] ---
    Supersleuths in mystery novels...
[04:20] ---
    ...always end up involved in
    one baffling incident after another.
[04:24] ---
    Why's that?
[04:25] ---
    If not, the stories wouldn't exist.
[04:27] ---
    Correct.
[04:29] ---
    Such cases are fiction.
    They only exist in surreal story worlds.
[04:34] ---
    But nothing comes of getting
    into such metafictional ideas.
[04:39] ---
    Especially since Miss Suzumiya
    is gung-ho about such a world.
[04:44] ---
    Come to think of it,
    she created the SOS Brigade for that.
[04:48] ---
    To encounter a surrealistic
    case like in mystery novels...
[04:52] ---
    ...you must first head to a fitting place.
[04:55] ---
    Because fictional supersleuths
    get involved in cases that way.
[05:00] ---
    We wouldn't just stumble across a case.
[05:03] ---
    It's true reality doesn't happen like fiction.
[05:07] ---
    But where we're heading right now...
[05:10] ---
    ...is what society would consider
    the perfect setting for a murder.
[05:14] ---
    Where is that society?
    It's a pretty close-knit one.
[05:18] ---
    In other words, where a supersleuth appears...
[05:21] ---
    ...a strange case is bound to happen.
[05:24] ---
    Those called supersleuths
    have powers that call cases to them.
[05:29] ---
    You sane?
[05:30] ---
    I always hold that I'm reasonably sane.
[05:34] ---
    All this about supersleuths
    and closed circles isn't what I think.
[05:38] ---
    I just traced over
    Miss Suzumiya's thought patterns.
[05:42] ---
    In other words, she wants to be one...
[05:46] ---
    ...a supersleuth.
[05:50] ---
    This one!
[05:51] ---
    So close!
[05:52] ---
    You can't be in old maid.
[05:54] ---
    Okay! Next, next!
[05:57] ---
    Too bad.
[05:58] ---
    You know, Kyon tried to leave me behind.
[06:02] ---
    Because I had no intention of bringing her.
[06:26] ---
    You got a warm welcome.
[06:28] ---
    Right!
[06:29] ---
    Take good care of her.
[06:31] ---
    I'll take her smile as payment
    and forgive my sister.
[06:34] ---
    How much longer?
[06:36] ---
    It's roughly a six-hour trip on this ferry.
[06:40] ---
    My acquaintance will be
    waiting for us at the port.
[06:44] ---
    From there, we board
    a special cruiser for another hour.
[06:48] ---
    A deserted island and
    towering mansion will be waiting for us.
[06:52] ---
    I've never been there, so I'm
    not sure what kind of building it is.
[06:56] ---
    I'm sure it's some strange building.
[06:59] ---
    Hey, know the architect's name?
[07:01] ---
    Why ask?
[07:02] ---
    I didn't ask.
[07:04] ---
    Yay! First place!
[07:05] ---
    Amazing!
[07:07] ---
    I did hear they commissioned
    a somewhat reputable architect.
[07:12] ---
    Somewhat is fine.
[07:13] ---
    If it's a mansion she's expecting,
    it's probably really strange...
[07:19] ---
    ...what an alcoholic Gaudí would
    design after being up 72 hours.
[07:25] ---
    Island! Mansion!
[07:26] ---
    It's the ideal locale for
    the SOS Brigade's summer retreat.
[07:31] ---
    I'm out! Third place!
[07:33] ---
    The loser is treating everyone to juice.
[07:36] ---
    I'll take 100% fruit juice.
[07:38] ---
    I want cola!
[07:40] ---
    I'll have royal milk tea.
[07:42] ---
    Say that after you win.
[07:43] ---
    A desolate island means a case!
[07:46] ---
    I hope nothing happens.
    I hope nothing happens.
[07:49] ---
    Though it's not certain what
    would be considered a "case."
[07:54] ---
    I hope this will be an amusing trip.
[08:05] ---
    Sister, Mikuru, let's go to the deck.
[08:08] ---
    A squid monster might come up.
[08:10] ---
    Sure!
[08:12] ---
    Let's go!
[08:13] ---
    Oh no... If it does, it'll be Nagato's turn.
[08:19] ---
    Jeez...
[08:23] ---
    Why are you sleeping, idiot? Wake up already.
[08:27] ---
    Don't you plan on taking this retreat seriously?
[08:34] ---
    I took a picture of you waking up.
[08:37] ---
    And of you asleep too.
[08:39] ---
    You were sound asleep.
[08:41] ---
    Asleep? Why would she sneak a picture of me?
[08:45] ---
    Maybe to put in a cute frame
    by her bedside, and every night...
[08:49] ---
    What's the smirk for?
    It makes you look stupid, so stop it.
[08:53] ---
    I'm having Mikuru be the acting
    SOS Brigade photographer.
[08:58] ---
    It's precious reference material
    of the SOS Brigade's activities.
[09:03] ---
    But I order what's taken.
[09:05] ---
    What's the value in my sleeping
    and just-getting-up faces?
[09:09] ---
    By capturing your silly, laid-back,
    sleeping face on this retreat...
[09:14] ---
    ...it's a warning for future members!
[09:17] ---
    For a lowly member to
    snore away while the leader's up...
[09:20] ---
    ...is against brigade morals, orders, and rules!
[09:25] ---
    Now, let's go!
[09:26] ---
    A mysterious island awaits!
[09:28] ---
    A mysterious island...
[09:31] ---
    It's not Panorama Island or Infant Island.
[09:34] ---
    At least, I'm hoping it doesn't
    suddenly float away or swim...
[09:38] ---
    It's all right.
[09:40] ---
    It's an ordinary, distant, lone island.
[09:43] ---
    There aren't any monsters
    or scientists with strange ideas.
[09:46] ---
    I guarantee it.
[09:48] ---
    I trust your guarantees the least.
[09:51] ---
    Ferry Terminal
[09:54] ---
    Hello, Mr. Arakawa. It's been a while.
[09:57] ---
    Mr. Arakawa/Butler
[09:58] ---
    Thanks for greeting us too, Miss Mori.
[09:59] ---
    Sonou Mori/Maid
[10:01] ---
    Sorry to trouble you.
[10:04] ---
    These are my incomparable friends.
[10:08] ---
    We have prepared a boat here.
[10:11] ---
    It is a half-hour boat ride
    to the island where our master awaits.
[10:15] ---
    It is inconvenient, but please understand.
[10:18] ---
    I don't mind at all!
    That's why it's a remote island.
[10:21] ---
    A half-hour? I wouldn't mind hours.
[10:24] ---
    I'm looking for the feel of the high seas.
[10:27] ---
    Kyon, Mikuru, you should
    be happier about this.
[10:31] ---
    There's a mansion and
    suspicious butlers and maids!
[10:35] ---
    Japan only has two other islands like this!
[10:38] ---
    Not even two.
[10:39] ---
    W-Wow, amazing.
[10:41] ---
    I'm looking forward to this...
[10:45] ---
    Wow...
[10:50] ---
    Is she studying Miss Mori
    for what being a maid means?
[10:54] ---
    She's strangely serious.
[10:57] ---
    So what's that building called?
[11:00] ---
    Meaning?
[11:01] ---
    House of Black Death,
    Lira Manor, Koketsu Castle...
[11:04] ---
    It has a name like that, right?
[11:05] ---
    Not really.
[11:07] ---
    Maybe there are strange devices,
    or the architect died unusually...
[11:12] ---
    ...or sleeping in a room means death.
[11:14] ---
    Nothing.
[11:15] ---
    The atmosphere died.
[11:17] ---
    Hey, is there a masked master of the house...
[11:20] ---
    ...or three pleasantly insane sisters,
    and none were left?
[11:25] ---
    All have yet to happen.
[11:27] ---
    Then the chance it will is very high.
[11:31] ---
    Perhaps that is the case.
[11:35] ---
    I see it! Is that the mansion?
[11:38] ---
    That is the summer home.
[11:41] ---
    It's rather ordinary.
[11:45] ---
    Who's that?
[11:47] ---
    The master of the house? He looks young...
[11:50] ---
    The other guest.
[11:52] ---
    Yutaka Tamaru
[11:53] ---
    The master of the house's brother, Yutaka Tamaru.
[11:56] ---
    I've met him once before.
[11:58] ---
    Tell us that in advance.
[12:00] ---
    This is the first I've heard
    of other people being invited.
[12:06] ---
    Welcome!
[12:30] ---
    Keiichi Tamaru/Master of the house
[12:30] ---
    Oh, welcome.
[12:34] ---
    Thank you so much for inviting all of us today.
[12:38] ---
    I'm truly grateful that we can
    stay in such a grand estate.
[12:42] ---
    I give thanks on behalf of us all.
[12:45] ---
    Oh, this is quite different
    from what I've heard from Itsuki...
[12:50] ---
    What I heard was
    a girl who talked more frankly...
[12:53] ---
    Really?
[12:54] ---
    Nice to meet you, master of the house!
[12:57] ---
    To be blunt, did this
    mansion have any incidents?
[13:00] ---
    And do locals call this island
    something in legends and fear it?
[13:04] ---
    Things like that are my hobby.
[13:10] ---
    I sympathize with your hobbies,
    but there've been no incidents yet.
[13:15] ---
    Since we just finished
    construction the other day.
[13:19] ---
    I haven't heard the island
    was haunted, now or ever.
[13:23] ---
    It was deserted.
[13:24] ---
    Enough standing around and talking. Come in.
[13:27] ---
    It's Western style,
    so you can keep your shoes on.
[13:31] ---
    Wow, nice room!
[13:33] ---
    It's plain.
[13:34] ---
    Well, it's good we get our own rooms.
[13:38] ---
    The doors lock, right?
[13:40] ---
    Of course. They can't autolock you out...
[13:42] ---
    ...but I'd appreciate not losing your keys.
[13:46] ---
    You'll stay with me, right?
[13:48] ---
    You behave.
[13:50] ---
    Sure.
[13:54] ---
    The fact nothing's
    suspicious is suspicious.
[13:57] ---
    Then what if it were?
[13:59] ---
    Of course it's suspicious at face value.
[14:02] ---
    In other words, there's not
    one thing not suspicious in her view.
[14:08] ---
    Got it.
[14:09] ---
    What?
[14:10] ---
    Who did it.
[14:10] ---
    Did what?
[14:12] ---
    Nothing's even started yet. We just got here.
[14:15] ---
    My gut says it's this place's owner, Keiichi!
[14:18] ---
    The first to go will be Mikuru!
[14:21] ---
    He's our host. What trouble are you making?
[14:24] ---
    At least act like a normal high schooler...
[14:30] ---
    Oh, right. We should swim.
[14:32] ---
    When you're at the sea,
    there's nothing to do other than swim.
[14:37] ---
    Jeez...
[14:38] ---
    Well, I'm sure not even Haruhi
    really wishes someone were dead.
[14:50] ---
    The best part about this trip
    is this very moment.
[14:53] ---
    This is what an ocean retreat is.
[14:59] ---
    Each person has their own pleasures.
[15:03] ---
    Spare time should be spent however you want.
[15:07] ---
    We need to offer entertainment
    for Miss Suzumiya especially...
[15:11] ---
    ...to divert her boredom.
[15:14] ---
    Hey, Kyon, Koizumi! Get down here!
[15:19] ---
    Me too!
[15:21] ---
    Over here, over here!
[15:24] ---
    Here!
[15:26] ---
    Beach ball!
[15:47] ---
    This is delicious. Who made it?
[15:50] ---
    Arakawa the butler is also the head chef.
[15:52] ---
    Not bad, right?
[15:54] ---
    I'd definitely like to say thanks.
    Call him over later.
[16:00] ---
    She sure eats a lot...
[16:02] ---
    Would you like something to drink?
[16:05] ---
    What's wrong?
[16:06] ---
    I hate peppers.
[16:07] ---
    You won't grow up like Miss Asahina then.
[16:11] ---
    You don't eat splendid meals
    like this that often.
[16:19] ---
    Is it okay that it's all free?
[16:21] ---
    I wish the school cafeteria was this generous.
[16:39] ---
    And so, living it up on
    Mr. Tamaru's courtesy well enough...
[16:43] ---
    ...the first day ended with nothing unusual.
[16:46] ---
    How much of a relief would it
    have been if the story ended here?
[16:52] ---
    On the second morning,
    the weather suddenly turned stormy.
[17:00] ---
    Our master is very bad with mornings...
[17:04] ---
    ...and is in a foul mood when he awakens.
[17:07] ---
    I hope you'll excuse him
    in the mornings like this.
[17:10] ---
    We appreciate your understanding.
[17:12] ---
    We're out of luck with
    a typhoon at a time like this.
[17:16] ---
    The typhoon seems quick,
    so it should clear up in two days.
[17:20] ---
    I'm sure it'll leave as suddenly as it came.
[17:24] ---
    But there was no word of
    a typhoon anywhere yesterday.
[17:28] ---
    Whose head did this storm come out of?
[17:32] ---
    But now it's really
    a deserted island in a storm.
[17:35] ---
    It's a rare chance.
[17:37] ---
    There really might be a case for us after all.
[17:42] ---
    The waves were much bigger
    than what the boat could handle.
[17:47] ---
    We're unwillingly cooped up
    on this island thanks to Haruhi's wish.
[17:54] ---
    A closed circle...
[17:56] ---
    It can't be.
[17:59] ---
    We couldn't go out, so we spent
    the day in the basement game room.
[18:03] ---
    Take this! Super Ultra Miracle Eccentric Serve!
[18:08] ---
    "Me" "Sister" "Koizumi"
    "Mikuru" "Yuki" "Kyon"
[18:08] ---
    Passion!! Ping-Pong Tournament!!
[18:08] ---
    Winner: ME!
[18:16] ---
    Hey, hey, is that fun?
[18:25] ---
    All right, riichi.
[18:26] ---
    I call ron. It's probably worth 10,000.
[18:29] ---
    Miss Suzumiya, that's yakuman.
[18:32] ---
    Thank God we're not counting.
[18:33] ---
    Oh, quite a hubbub.
[18:36] ---
    I think I'll join in.
[18:39] ---
    Here you go.
[18:40] ---
    What's "furikomi"?
[18:51] ---
    I have some work I need to get done,
    so I'll excuse myself now.
[19:01] ---
    Keiichi and Yutaka Tamaru...
[19:03] ---
    Mr. Arakawa and Miss Mori...
[19:05] ---
    For Koizumi's associates, they seem normal.
[19:08] ---
    There are too few characters
    to brew up a strange case.
[19:11] ---
    Riichi!
[19:15] ---
    Who's the king?
[19:17] ---
    Me!
[19:19] ---
    Then, ♪2, turn around,
    look back at us, and say, "I love you."
[19:24] ---
    Who's ♪2?
[19:32] ---
    I love you.
[19:34] ---
    That's not it, Yuki!
    You have to be more emotional.
[19:41] ---
    I love you.
[19:43] ---
    Kyon, show her.
[19:44] ---
    Why me?
[19:45] ---
    It doesn't matter why. It's the king's orders.
[19:49] ---
    I love...
[19:49] ---
    Never mind.
[19:51] ---
    What a selfish king.
    Wait, that's how she usually is.
[19:56] ---
    I thought I could read past the next page
[19:58] ---
    of adolescence with a laugh...
[19:58] ---
    I love you. I love you so much.
[20:02] ---
    ...but the middleman cut differently.
[20:02] ---
    I love you. I love you so much.
[20:04] ---
    I don't know what kind they were
    and what they cut though.
[20:08] ---
    If I knew, I'd like to order them
    to cease operation for a year or so!
[20:16] ---
    Hey, Haruhi...
[20:18] ---
    Softy. When you talk retreats,
    you can't forget pillow fights.
[20:23] ---
    How's she so lively after staying up so late?
[20:26] ---
    A pillow fight?
[20:28] ---
    No wonder she scoured through
    the second-floor rooms...
[20:32] ---
    ...for pillows after breakfast.
[20:33] ---
    So many!
[20:33] ---
    She picked up all our weapons, huh?
[20:41] ---
    Mr. Arakawa, is something wrong?
[20:43] ---
    Yes, I sent Mori to Master Yutaka's
    room earlier, but he's not in.
[20:49] ---
    Yutaka is gone?
[20:51] ---
    His bed hasn't been used...
[20:53] ---
    ...and we searched everywhere
    but haven't found him.
[20:57] ---
    How about asking Keiichi?
[20:59] ---
    We tried to call the master's chamber,
    but received no reply.
[21:04] ---
    What's that? Yutaka is missing,
    and Keiichi isn't answering?
[21:10] ---
    In short, that would be it.
[21:13] ---
    Why don't we enter Keiichi's room?
    Isn't there a spare key?
[21:17] ---
    The master's chamber is different.
[21:20] ---
    He is the only one with the spare key.
[21:23] ---
    He brought work documents,
    so it's to be on the safe side.
[21:27] ---
    We should go visit him.
[21:29] ---
    Kyon, let's go. My heart is racing.
[21:32] ---
    Come on, Yuki, Mikuru. Sister, you stay here.
[21:46] ---
    Keiichi? Keiichi! Answer if you're here!
[21:53] ---
    No good...
[21:56] ---
    This is the last resort.
    Let's ram this door and break through.
[22:01] ---
    Perhaps time is of the essence.
[22:03] ---
    All right.
[22:04] ---
    Let's do it.
[22:11] ---
    Only in the drama world
    can you break something like this.
[22:38] ---
    Impossible...
[22:40] ---
    You're joking, right?
[22:49] ---
    If we figured out the globe
    like we would a riddle...
[22:55] ---
    ...we could all go anywhere together.
[22:58] ---
    To the end of time, BOOOON!
[23:01] ---
    This feeling that is a warp and a loop.
[23:05] ---
    With an imagination that engulfs
    anything and everything, let's play.
[23:11] ---
    Something on one sunny day,
    more fun than any magic possible...
[23:16] ---
    ...endlessly pours down. It's not impossible.
[23:22] ---
    When we meet again tomorrow,
    we're all humming as we smile.
[23:28] ---
    Let's gather happiness. Such a thing is so easy.
[23:33] ---
    Chase after me. Try to catch it.
[23:38] ---
    A big dream... You like dreams, right?

E11 - Remote Island Syndrome (Part Two)
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:44] ---
    You shouldn't move him.
[00:50] ---
    He's passed away.
[00:52] ---
    It's a fruit knife...
[00:59] ---
    We have quite the problem now.
[01:09] ---
    Oh?
[01:11] ---
    It went through the notebook.
[01:13] ---
    The culprit must have
    quite a bit of physical strength.
[01:17] ---
    Which means we can almost
    be certain the culprit is male.
[01:22] ---
    And since we haven't seen
    Yutaka Tamaru around...
[01:27] ---
    About your sister and this...
[01:29] ---
    It's best we don't tell her.
[01:32] ---
    It looks like we have a situation
    we need to think about here.
[01:36] ---
    This situation is truly a closed circle.
[01:40] ---
    At first glance, this is a murder.
[01:43] ---
    Furthermore, this room was a sealed room.
[01:48] ---
    Now, with no way in or out...
[01:50] ---
    ...how did the culprit
    commit the crime and leave the room?
[02:01] ---
    The answer is always in my heart.
[02:08] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
[02:15] ---
    I don't know why, but I chose you.
[02:22] ---
    It won't stop now. Mr. Destiny deemed it so.
[02:28] ---
    I believe it's boring to just mimic.
[02:34] ---
    You'll be right, so I'll do what I feel as I feel it.
[02:43] ---
    It's an adventure, right, right?
[02:45] ---
    In this world where truth becomes fiction.
[02:50] ---
    We become stronger
    because we have dreams...
[02:54] ---
    ...not for the sake of someone.
[02:57] ---
    Please come with me.
[03:00] ---
    See me and my endlessly free self.
[03:06] ---
    Today's present that becomes
    tomorrow's past is the miracle.
[03:12] ---
    Let's grab the future.
[03:18] ---
    I believe you...
[03:33] ---
    Hey, Kyon, did something happen?
[03:34] ---
    Remote Island Syndrome Part 2
[03:36] ---
    I told you.
[03:37] ---
    Keiichi suddenly got sick
    and is in bed, so you have to sit still.
[03:42] ---
    But why Mikuru too?
[03:51] ---
    Kyon, a word.
[03:55] ---
    Yuki, make sure to lock it.
    Don't open it for anyone.
[03:59] ---
    Understood.
[04:04] ---
    Is this a murder case?
[04:06] ---
    Apparently.
[04:09] ---
    I really didn't anticipate
    something like this would happen.
[04:13] ---
    You said you were aching for a case.
[04:16] ---
    Because I didn't think it would really happen!
[04:20] ---
    A sealed-room murder on a stormy island...
[04:23] ---
    What are the chances of randomly
    encountering one on vacation?
[04:28] ---
    Maybe this case happened
    because Haruhi wished it?
[04:33] ---
    This leaves us with a problem.
[04:36] ---
    She's like a mischievous boy...
[04:39] ---
    ...who's troubled because
    his April Fools' joke came true.
[04:43] ---
    I hate to think about it,
    but the biggest suspect is Yutaka.
[04:48] ---
    Especially since he's missing.
[04:50] ---
    Come to think of it,
    Mikuru told me yesterday...
[05:00] ---
    They were arguing?
[05:02] ---
    Apparently.
[05:04] ---
    And one more thing about last night...
[05:07] ---
    I went to the bathroom during the game, right?
[05:10] ---
    At that time, right here...
[05:12] ---
    Yeah, I'm in a hurry.
    Prepare my passport and traveler's checks.
[05:16] ---
    Now that I think of it,
    he was preparing to escape overseas.
[05:21] ---
    But why a sealed room?
[05:23] ---
    He wasn't faking a suicide...
[05:26] ---
    ...so there was no reason
    to create a sealed room.
[05:29] ---
    Yeah, I can't stand still after all.
[05:32] ---
    Let's take another
    close look at Keiichi's room.
[05:35] ---
    Upon calling the police...
[05:38] ---
    ...they said nobody is
    allowed inside till they arrive.
[05:41] ---
    When are they coming?
[05:44] ---
    The forecasts state the weather
    will pick up tomorrow afternoon...
[05:49] ---
    ...so I assume it would be around then.
[05:52] ---
    Was it locked all night?
[05:54] ---
    I have no idea. I only knocked.
[05:58] ---
    Just knocked?
[05:59] ---
    Master Keiichi's room
    has all of his work documents...
[06:03] ---
    ...so I was forbidden from
    opening the door if he didn't answer.
[06:08] ---
    Keiichi and Yutaka didn't get along?
[06:13] ---
    I don't know either.
[06:16] ---
    That is because both
    Mori and I started to work here...
[06:20] ---
    ...just one week ago.
[06:23] ---
    One week?
[06:25] ---
    We are a part-time butler and maid,
    offering temporary service.
[06:30] ---
    This contract was for a brief part
    of the summer, lasting two weeks.
[06:36] ---
    So just at this mansion?
    You weren't with Keiichi for long?
[06:41] ---
    Correct.
[06:42] ---
    Concerning the brothers' relationship...
[06:45] ---
    ...I know Master Yutaka
    worked in Master Keiichi's company.
[06:50] ---
    Something gets to me...
[06:56] ---
    What is this strange sensation?
[07:01] ---
    Oh? Koizumi!
[07:03] ---
    What are you doing?
[07:05] ---
    I was checking the mansion.
[07:07] ---
    Yutaka is nowhere. How about you?
[07:10] ---
    Going outside to check if the boat's there.
[07:13] ---
    I believe it isn't.
[07:15] ---
    Why?
[07:16] ---
    It was last night.
[07:18] ---
    Master Yutaka seemed in an awful hurry
    towards the front entrance.
[07:24] ---
    You're saying that he
    took the boat and left the island?
[07:28] ---
    I haven't confirmed it...
[07:30] ---
    ...but that was the last I saw of him.
[07:34] ---
    About when?
[07:35] ---
    I believe around 1 AM.
[07:47] ---
    One false move and you slip off the cliff.
[07:50] ---
    Well, even so, I feel my chance
    of survival is up if I'm with her.
[07:55] ---
    Look, Kyon!
[07:56] ---
    The cruiser's gone... So Yutaka did do it...
[08:00] ---
    Grey skies, black seas...
[08:03] ---
    It reminds me of that
    enclosed space back then...
[08:06] ---
    Somehow, I can't like
    these monochrome worlds.
[08:09] ---
    Kyon! Someone's here!
[08:11] ---
    Over there, beyond that rock.
[08:14] ---
    I wonder if someone came out...
    Or maybe it's the actual culprit!
[08:18] ---
    Hey, wait, Haruhi!
[08:24] ---
    Hey, he really came this way?
[08:27] ---
    There's no other road!
[08:30] ---
    Haruhi!
[08:41] ---
    Kyon?
[08:42] ---
    Kyon.
[08:43] ---
    Kyon!
[08:45] ---
    Are you okay? Are you alive?
[08:48] ---
    Yeah, probably.
[08:51] ---
    It looks like we've gotten
    into a rough situation.
[08:55] ---
    Yeah...
[08:57] ---
    Looks like we can't return to the original path.
[09:00] ---
    Hey, over there...
[09:04] ---
    Fortunately, it was warm inside the cave.
[09:07] ---
    Due to thermal heat?
    Maybe even a source for a hot spring.
[09:12] ---
    What was that shadow?
[09:14] ---
    Was it really a living thing?
    You didn't see something else?
[09:18] ---
    I don't think that's possible, but...
[09:24] ---
    You know, Kyon... was it really
    Yutaka who killed Keiichi?
[09:29] ---
    What's that?
[09:30] ---
    I've been thinking all this time...
[09:33] ---
    By Miss Mori's account, it was late
    last night that he left the island.
[09:38] ---
    But when I touched Keiichi before,
    his body was still warm.
[09:43] ---
    Get it? In other words,
    Keiichi died right before we found him.
[09:50] ---
    What's that mean?
[09:52] ---
    Yutaka left at night in the typhoon...
[09:54] ---
    ...and then hid somewhere
    before stabbing Keiichi and fleeing?
[09:58] ---
    Not that. Even if Keiichi was killed
    an hour before we found him...
[10:05] ---
    ...we all would've been up by then
    and walking around the house.
[10:09] ---
    It's unnatural not to hear sounds or screams.
[10:13] ---
    But it's strange...
[10:14] ---
    With his chest stabbed...
[10:16] ---
    ...you're saying he was alive
    for hours on end and locked his door?
[10:21] ---
    If Yutaka didn't do it, there's no...
[10:23] ---
    Wait!
[10:24] ---
    I got it!
[10:26] ---
    I got what really went on in this case.
[10:31] ---
    Are you listening, Kyon?
[10:32] ---
    Yeah. For now, tell me what you think.
[10:37] ---
    I'm sure it was Yutaka who stabbed Keiichi.
[10:40] ---
    Otherwise, like you said,
    he had no reason to escape.
[10:44] ---
    That's reasonable.
[10:45] ---
    I don't know the reasons,
    but Yutaka stabbed Keiichi.
[10:50] ---
    I doubt it was planned...
[10:52] ---
    ...so he lost it during a fight and
    just waved the fruit knife or something.
[10:58] ---
    But the knife didn't reach
    all the way to the heart.
[11:05] ---
    The knife, stopped by
    the notebook, wasn't fatal.
[11:09] ---
    But this created a complicated case.
[11:12] ---
    Keiichi passed out from shock right there.
[11:15] ---
    Seeing that, Yutaka believed
    he killed his brother.
[11:20] ---
    The problem starts here.
[11:21] ---
    Keiichi, who actually was only
    passed out, was out till morning.
[11:27] ---
    Upon waking up,
    Keiichi stood up in a slight stupor...
[11:31] ---
    ...recalled how his brother almost killed him...
[11:34] ---
    ...and locked the door, still in a stupor.
[11:39] ---
    The tragedy happened after this.
[11:41] ---
    Keiichi's legs got all tangled up,
    and he fell facedown.
[11:47] ---
    As a result, the knife pushed into his chest...
[11:50] ---
    ...and caused his death. This is the truth.
[11:54] ---
    Hold on. Would everything go that smoothly?
[11:57] ---
    It can't be helped that it did.
    Can you think of anything else?
[12:01] ---
    I'm sure Yutaka would know
    if he really killed his brother.
[12:06] ---
    In the first place,
    Keiichi's body was lying faceup.
[12:09] ---
    If your theory was correct,
    he should've been found facedown.
[12:15] ---
    That's true, but...
[12:17] ---
    No, but wait...
[12:20] ---
    Oh, if that's the case...
[12:23] ---
    What's wrong, Haruhi?
[12:26] ---
    Well... Nothing.
[12:29] ---
    I think I had a mistaken idea.
[12:32] ---
    Hey!
[12:33] ---
    Are you both all right?
[12:38] ---
    So Haruhi's reasoning has crumbled.
[12:42] ---
    But if so, what happens to the truth?
[12:45] ---
    Yutaka wasn't on the island
    at the estimated time of death.
[12:48] ---
    If that's the case,
    someone else is the real culprit.
[12:57] ---
    Hey.
[12:59] ---
    Kyon! Don't surprise me like that!
[13:02] ---
    Snacking?
[13:04] ---
    Because I'm hungry.
[13:07] ---
    Please wait. I'll bring something
    to your room immediately.
[13:11] ---
    No fair!
[13:12] ---
    One person ate before us.
[13:16] ---
    This is Arakawa's meal.
[13:18] ---
    He didn't eat since this morning,
    so I delivered it ahead of time.
[13:23] ---
    Don't embarrass your older brother so much.
[13:28] ---
    What's wrong?
[13:31] ---
    Yuki, it's me. Open the door.
[13:34] ---
    I was told to not open it for anyone.
[13:37] ---
    It's okay now. Open up.
[13:39] ---
    But that would break the order
    to not open the door for anyone.
[13:43] ---
    Is Miss Asahina still passed out?
[13:46] ---
    It's likely, since we can't hear her voice.
[13:48] ---
    By "anyone," I meant
    "anyone other than the SOS Brigade."
[13:53] ---
    We're all colleagues, right?
[13:55] ---
    That wasn't said.
[13:57] ---
    I was given an order to
    not open this door for anyone.
[14:01] ---
    Yuki, you didn't say anything
    when I left the room.
[14:05] ---
    I was given no orders regarding
    the door opening from the inside.
[14:12] ---
    Hey, Nagato.
[14:14] ---
    Haruhi's orders are repealed now.
[14:17] ---
    If you wish, I'll overwrite
    the order with my own.
[14:20] ---
    My sister's with me. Please open the door.
[14:28] ---
    Jeez, be a little more accommodating!
[14:33] ---
    Maybe that was a joke in Nagato's own way.
[14:37] ---
    Come on, Nagato...
[14:39] ---
    Your expressions and complexion never change.
[14:41] ---
    I can only think you're always serious.
[14:44] ---
    Thank you, Yuki.
[14:46] ---
    What should we do now?
[14:48] ---
    Continue to seek the truth?
[14:52] ---
    Call it off. I can't be a supersleuth after all.
[14:56] ---
    Let's leave the rest to the police.
[15:03] ---
    I see. A conversation like that
    went on in the cave...
[15:07] ---
    But it's strange.
[15:09] ---
    Wanting to play detective...
    Why'd she change her mind so suddenly?
[15:14] ---
    I can understand where
    Miss Suzumiya is coming from.
[15:18] ---
    Shall I explain?
[15:20] ---
    Let's hear it.
[15:22] ---
    Her hypothesis is correct
    up to a certain point...
[15:25] ---
    ...but the truth has a different ending.
[15:28] ---
    Keiichi was stabbed by Yutaka,
    but he didn't die then and there.
[15:33] ---
    Yutaka mistook that and ran.
[15:36] ---
    That much is correct.
[15:38] ---
    Our calls woke Keiichi up...
[15:40] ---
    ...and before we tried to open the door...
[15:40] ---
    Keiichi? Keiichi! Answer if you're here!
[15:44] ---
    ...he locked the door in a stupor.
[15:47] ---
    Just then...
[15:52] ---
    That was when the knife
    was shoved into Keiichi's body.
[15:57] ---
    So the culprit was...
[15:59] ---
    The people who rammed the door.
[16:02] ---
    In other words,
    it was me, you, and Mr. Arakawa.
[16:10] ---
    I'm sure Miss Suzumiya realized that.
[16:14] ---
    So she didn't say anything.
[16:16] ---
    To cover for us,
    she kept the truth in her own mind.
[16:22] ---
    The story does make sense...
[16:27] ---
    ...but it was bad that you caught on to it.
[16:31] ---
    As long as I can shut your mouth...
[16:34] ---
    ...this will pass without anyone knowing.
    That's the logic, right?
[16:38] ---
    Problem! We have a big problem!
[16:43] ---
    Koizumi... Koizumi is dead!
[16:46] ---
    He was stabbed in the chest with a knife!
[16:49] ---
    What's that?
[16:50] ---
    Impossible!
[16:51] ---
    Hurry over!
[16:53] ---
    Hurry!
[17:02] ---
    To think you're such a badass.
[17:04] ---
    I won't kill you, as long as
    you keep the truth to yourself.
[17:09] ---
    Koizumi was killed by Yutaka,
    who secretly returned.
[17:12] ---
    Only he knows his motive,
    but he had an abnormal disposition.
[17:18] ---
    That's the story line.
[17:19] ---
    Will the police buy it?
[17:22] ---
    We'll stab two or three more knives
    into this corpse to prove it.
[17:26] ---
    So Yutaka's abnormality stands out.
[17:29] ---
    Here goes!
[17:30] ---
    Wait!
[17:35] ---
    The play is over.
[17:37] ---
    We lose.
[17:45] ---
    We were done in.
[17:47] ---
    Sorry, I did it because Kyon told me.
[17:51] ---
    Supersleuth
[17:52] ---
    From here, the supernatural
    genius supersleuth...
[17:55] ---
    ...Haruhi Suzumiya,
    will show you her wonderful sleuthing!
[17:58] ---
    I'm amazed she can
    compliment herself so much.
[18:01] ---
    In short, this was all a play
    by Koizumi, the Tamaru brothers...
[18:06] ---
    ...Mr. Arakawa, and Miss Mori
    devised to fool all of us.
[18:11] ---
    A pretty good scenario,
    complete with a false conclusion.
[18:14] ---
    Good observation.
[18:16] ---
    This was a bit of entertainment,
    like a surprise party.
[18:20] ---
    I'm sure she knew it all from the start.
[18:24] ---
    It's true I was fooled till
    a certain point to the false conclusion...
[18:29] ---
    ...that Kyon's group,
    who busted the door, killed Keiichi.
[18:33] ---
    But I realized that if the knife
    had the force to go through his heart...
[18:39] ---
    ...the door should have
    some blood or scratches.
[18:43] ---
    But the door was completely scratch free.
[18:45] ---
    I noticed that.
[18:47] ---
    However, the door was built to be very sturdy.
[18:51] ---
    Isn't that too little evidence for suspicion?
[18:54] ---
    There are other strange things.
[18:56] ---
    Like when Koizumi met Mr. Arakawa.
[18:59] ---
    You said, "It's been a while," right?
[19:01] ---
    He started last week,
    so it shouldn't have been.
[19:04] ---
    This greeting was strange.
[19:07] ---
    It's as you say.
[19:09] ---
    I realized this too.
[19:11] ---
    Furthermore, when we
    first got to Keiichi's room...
[19:14] ---
    ...Koizumi headed straight to
    Keiichi's room, right?
[19:18] ---
    How'd you know which room?
[19:20] ---
    You said this was
    the first time you came here.
[19:24] ---
    What a mistake... Not once but twice.
[19:28] ---
    But it's not strange he knew.
[19:30] ---
    Perhaps he checked when you weren't aware.
[19:33] ---
    That's true.
[19:34] ---
    But the final blow was
    the meal Kyon saw in the kitchen.
[19:38] ---
    Kyon, you explain it since I wasn't there.
[19:41] ---
    Only Keiichi eats with
    a knife and fork between us all.
[19:46] ---
    Sure, the chance Mr. Arakawa
    eats with a knife and fork isn't zero.
[19:50] ---
    But the problem lies in the uneaten carrots.
[19:53] ---
    That's why it dawned on me
    that it was Keiichi's meal.
[19:59] ---
    Combining all these ideas,
    there's one conclusion!
[20:03] ---
    In other words, Keiichi is alive!
[20:05] ---
    That everything was faked, merely a play!
[20:12] ---
    I'm sure the applause
    in Haruhi's head is several times bigger.
[20:17] ---
    And so in return,
    we performed a play of our own.
[20:22] ---
    The fight I saw on the balcony was an act too?
[20:25] ---
    That's right.
[20:26] ---
    The phone call late at night was fake too.
[20:31] ---
    I thought I'd confess at some point...
[20:33] ---
    To think it would come out this quickly.
[20:36] ---
    Well, your sleuthing unraveled it all.
    You sure were a supersleuth.
[20:42] ---
    Elementary, my dear Watson.
[20:50] ---
    So your syndicate did this.
[20:53] ---
    Yes, the Tamaru brothers...
[20:56] ---
    ...Mr. Arakawa, and Miss Mori are my cohorts.
[20:59] ---
    So that she doesn't
    have any strange thoughts...
[21:02] ---
    ...it was best to present
    Miss Suzumiya with a detective case.
[21:07] ---
    Your sister coming wasn't in the calculations.
[21:10] ---
    Didn't you say on the ship
    that your syndicate wasn't involved?
[21:17] ---
    I couldn't tell you the truth right there.
[21:22] ---
    When did you realize the truth?
[21:27] ---
    Honestly, from the start.
[21:29] ---
    The start?
[21:32] ---
    Such a case would never happen.
[21:34] ---
    Why? Because Haruhi would
    never really wish for a murder.
[21:39] ---
    That's how she is.
[21:42] ---
    You really trust Miss Suzumiya, don't you...
[21:50] ---
    Tell me one more thing.
[21:52] ---
    That strange shadow
    Haruhi saw was your doing, right?
[21:55] ---
    Strange shadow?
[21:58] ---
    Honest. I have no reason
    to continue acting anymore.
[22:02] ---
    Then what was that shadow?
[22:05] ---
    It can't be...
[22:06] ---
    Miss Suzumiya was wishing for
    the culprit to exist outside us all.
[22:12] ---
    If that was something that Haruhi created...
[22:18] ---
    ...that means some enigmatic thing
    is lurking on that island now.
[22:23] ---
    No, maybe it really was Haruhi
    seeing something she didn't...
[22:31] ---
    Where should we go next?
    Maybe the Bermuda Triangle?
[22:49] ---
    If we figured out the globe
    like we would a riddle...
[22:55] ---
    ...we could all go anywhere together.
[22:58] ---
    To the end of time, BOOOON!
[23:01] ---
    This feeling that is a warp and a loop.
[23:05] ---
    With an imagination that engulfs
    anything and everything, let's play.
[23:11] ---
    Something on one sunny day,
    more fun than any magic possible...
[23:16] ---
    ...endlessly pours down. It's not impossible.
[23:22] ---
    When we meet again tomorrow,
    we're all humming as we smile.
[23:27] ---
    Let's gather happiness. Such a thing is so easy.
[23:33] ---
    Chase after me. Try to catch it.
[23:38] ---
    A big dream... You like dreams, right?

E12 - Endless Eight I
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:31] ---
    It was a lazy, but normal day
    after Obon at the height of summer.
[00:38] ---
    I had absolutely no interest
    in the prefectural game on the TV,
[00:43] ---
    But because of my sympathetic personality,
[00:45] ---
    I ended up kind of rooting for the losing side.
[00:48] ---
    Once I did, my cell phone began ringing.
[00:53] ---
    Incoming call: Haruhi Suzumiya
[00:53] ---
    Haruhi, huh?
[00:56] ---
    You're not doing anything today, right?
[00:57] ---
    We're all meeting at exactly
    two o'clock in front of the station.
[01:03] ---
    And just like that, she hangs up.
[01:06] ---
    How does she know
    I'm not doing anything today?
[01:08] ---
    I mean, I'm...
[01:11] ---
    Well, okay, I don't have any plans at all, but...
[01:20] ---
    What?
[01:20] ---
    I forgot to mention this--
    bring a swimsuit and come on your bike.
[01:25] ---
    And be sure to bring plenty of money.
    That's all, over and out!
[01:29] ---
    Ugh, no.
[01:31] ---
    What in the world is going on?
[01:46] ---
    Oh well.
[02:09] ---
    Day by day, everything's just so dull
[02:14] ---
    That's why you need to become
    someone that can just reject it all
[02:19] ---
    Oh my boy, you need to be decisive
[02:23] ---
    I won't deal with any lies
    in this small world
[02:29] ---
    I found myself on my own,
    it's natural you'd fall for me
[02:34] ---
    Kick away the boring ways of doing things,
[02:36] ---
    I'm going to decide everything
[02:40] ---
    I say, I say my heaven
[02:43] ---
    Super driver, leave everything to the rush
[02:45] ---
    And just keep going forward, no matter what
[02:47] ---
    Surpass (Don't you stop me)
    The idea of "impossible"
[02:51] ---
    Take it easy, go!
[02:52] ---
    I agree, it's going to be a huge victory
[02:54] ---
    Of course, it'll feel pleasant,
    no matter what happens
[02:57] ---
    A review meeting? (Get back to wild)
    Forget that, now hurry up
[03:02] ---
    We haven't tried this or that,
    we always do things how we want
[03:07] ---
    Everything's a new experience,
    let's try them out
[03:12] ---
    We haven't tried this or that,
    we always do things suddenly
[03:17] ---
    Everything's a new experience,
    what about it?
[03:22] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
[03:32] ---
    Endless Eight I
[03:37] ---
    You're late, Kyon!
[03:39] ---
    Show some more motivation!
[03:41] ---
    Who do you think you are,
    making the brigade leader wait?
[03:44] ---
    There'll be a penalty for this.
[03:46] ---
    I came fifteen minutes early,
    and I'm still the last one to arrive?
[03:51] ---
    Okay, we're all here, so let's go.
[03:56] ---
    Koizumi, let Mikuru ride on your bike.
[03:59] ---
    Yuki and I will ride
    on the back of Kyon's bike.
[04:04] ---
    Well, let me ask, where are we going?
[04:07] ---
    To the public swimming pool, of course!
[04:09] ---
    We have to do summer vacation-y
    things during our summer vacation!
[04:13] ---
    We can never get back
    the time that we've lost!
[04:17] ---
    And so we're going to
    do them now, during this,
[04:20] ---
    our one and only summer as tenth graders.
[04:23] ---
    The time that we've lost, eh?
[04:35] ---
    Oh, the scent of chlorine.
    This really makes it feel like a pool!
[04:40] ---
    Here I go!
[04:46] ---
    Here we go!
[04:48] ---
    No diving
[04:48] ---
    It's dangerous
[04:50] ---
    Hurry up and get in!
    The water's warm so it feels fine!
[04:54] ---
    Can't she read the
    "no diving" signs posted everywhere?
[04:59] ---
    This makes me smile, though.
[05:01] ---
    Miss Suzumiya has some rather normal ways
[05:05] ---
    of enjoying her time, don't you think?
[05:07] ---
    Suddenly calling us up out of the blue,
[05:09] ---
    and only giving us a general idea
    of what's going to happen...
[05:12] ---
    That's not all that normal to me.
[05:15] ---
    Well, at least Miss Suzumiya,
    laughing and having a good time,
[05:19] ---
    isn't likely to shake up the world.
[05:21] ---
    I hope that's the case...
[05:25] ---
    There's no need to worry.
[05:26] ---
    We haven't noticed any problems
    since the outing a while back.
[05:31] ---
    Right now, to Miss Suzumiya, and to us as well,
[05:36] ---
    the world is at peace.
[05:43] ---
    Let's have lunch.
[05:45] ---
    Surprise! Today Mikuru made us sandwiches!
[05:48] ---
    Wow!
[05:51] ---
    This is delicious.
[05:52] ---
    Thank you very much.
[05:53] ---
    I'm having more fried chicken!
[05:55] ---
    Mikuru, get the tea, would you?
[05:57] ---
    Okay!
[05:59] ---
    Things certainly do seem to be peaceful.
[06:02] ---
    Sorry!
[06:03] ---
    Okay, here I go!
[06:05] ---
    I think it'd be better to call this
    a communal pool than a public pool.
[06:11] ---
    Come on, Mikuru, what are you doing?
[06:18] ---
    This isn't a bad way
    to spend my summer vacation.
[06:23] ---
    Kyon!
[06:25] ---
    These are my brigade members.
[06:27] ---
    They'll do anything you ask,
    so ask for anything you want!
[06:30] ---
    Okay!
[06:36] ---
    I've been thinking about how we
    should spend our summer vacation.
[06:39] ---
    What do you think?
[06:39] ---
    Club schedule
[06:39] ---
    What is this?
[06:41] ---
    It's a schedule of how we'll spend
    the rest of our short summer vacation.
[06:45] ---
    For the SOS Brigade?
[06:47] ---
    Yup. There're only two weeks
    of summer vacation left, right?
[06:51] ---
    And yet it feels like there are
    a lot of things we've yet to do!
[06:54] ---
    We're going to pick up the pace!
[06:57] ---
    Things that we have to do
    during the summer vacation, you say?
[07:00] ---
    Summer outing, go to the pool,
[07:02] ---
    go to a Bon festival, go to a fireworks show,
[07:04] ---
    have a part-time job, stargazing...
    There's a lot here, isn't there?
[07:08] ---
    So we have to do all of this in just two weeks?
[07:13] ---
    Is there anything else you want to do?
[07:15] ---
    Umm... I'd like to try goldfish scooping.
[07:18] ---
    Okay! Goldfish scooping...
[07:22] ---
    We start the plan tomorrow!
[07:24] ---
    Is there a place nearby
    having a Bon festival?
[07:28] ---
    A fireworks show would work, too.
[07:30] ---
    At least try to find this stuff out first.
[07:32] ---
    I'll check around.
    I'll contact you when I find out.
[07:36] ---
    Don't forget about the goldfish scooping!
    It's Mikuru's sole request, after all.
[07:41] ---
    Right.
[07:45] ---
    Why am I always the one
    that has to pick up the check?
[07:48] ---
    Isn't it obvious? It's because you were late.
[07:50] ---
    Don't make us wait tomorrow!
[07:52] ---
    All right, then, we're done for today!
[07:57] ---
    Good grief. So we're going
    to be playing around every day?
[08:06] ---
    The next morning, it was a call from Haruhi
[08:09] ---
    that awoke me from my slumber.
[08:15] ---
    They found a place that was
    holding a Bon festival.
[08:17] ---
    Time: Tonight. Place: A public park.
[08:21] ---
    Convenient how they found one so quickly.
[08:23] ---
    Just as I was being
    impressed by that, Haruhi said,
[08:28] ---
    "We're all going to go buy yukata!"
[08:30] ---
    Both Mikuru and Yuki
    said that they don't own one.
[08:32] ---
    There's a place selling them
    in sets for cheap, so let's go!
[08:36] ---
    Haruhi just went and chose yukata
    for Miss Asahina and Nagato,
[08:39] ---
    then headed straight for the changing rooms.
[08:42] ---
    This ended up taking quite a bit of time.
[08:46] ---
    We waited for about an hour,
    while the other women ignored us,
[08:50] ---
    and finally the three of them came out at once.
[08:53] ---
    Kyon!
[08:57] ---
    You all look wonderful.
[09:00] ---
    Of course! I chose these yukata, after all.
[09:03] ---
    Especially Mikuru.
[09:05] ---
    Just what you would expect
    from my choice, it's so cute on you!
[09:07] ---
    There's nothing wrong with my fashion sense!
[09:12] ---
    This certainly was the cream of the crop
[09:15] ---
    of all of the costumes that Haruhi has forced on her.
[09:15] ---
    Yuki is pretty too, don't you think?
[09:17] ---
    Rather, it really looks great on her!
    This is a definite yes!
[09:20] ---
    So this is the kind of clothing
[09:22] ---
    that the people of this country
    wore in historical times.
[09:24] ---
    It's a little tight around the chest,
    but it's beautiful.
[09:27] ---
    Okay, we're ready to go now.
[09:29] ---
    Let's go to the festival, everyone!
[09:37] ---
    Wow!
[09:38] ---
    A Bon festival, huh?
    It's been a while since I've been to one.
[09:43] ---
    Mikuru, they even have
    goldfish scooping, just like you wanted!
[09:47] ---
    Be sure to catch a bunch!
[09:49] ---
    Black Demekins are worth
    200 points, you know!
[09:51] ---
    Shall we play, too?
    How about seeing who can catch more?
[09:55] ---
    I'll pass. I'm more interested in the food.
[09:59] ---
    What about you, Nagato?
    Want to eat something?
[10:06] ---
    You're interested in that stuff?
[10:15] ---
    This one.
[10:16] ---
    Right-o, that'll be 800 yen.
[10:22] ---
    Thirteen!
[10:23] ---
    I caught a lot, but I don't
    need so many, so I just kept one.
[10:28] ---
    I didn't catch any at all.
[10:31] ---
    Scooping goldfish is difficult, isn't it?
[10:33] ---
    Oh no, it's not normal to catch so many.
[10:36] ---
    If you can figure out the trick, it's easy!
[10:40] ---
    Huh? What's with the mask, Yuki?
[10:42] ---
    I bought it.
[10:43] ---
    I see. But why that one?
[10:47] ---
    Maybe it appeals to a particular wavelength.
[10:50] ---
    One only aliens would get.
[10:52] ---
    Okay, then.
[10:53] ---
    There are things over there
    we haven't seen yet, so let's go!
[10:57] ---
    You're still going to mess around?
[10:58] ---
    Of course! Come on!
[11:27] ---
    Here.
[11:28] ---
    You can have one, but only one.
[11:31] ---
    Oh, thanks.
[11:35] ---
    Is it tasty?
[11:36] ---
    Good.
[11:37] ---
    Now, we've pretty much
    seen all of the Bon festival.
[11:41] ---
    Now let's launch some fireworks!
[11:43] ---
    Fireworks?
[11:44] ---
    We've gone through the trouble
    of getting all dressed up,
[11:47] ---
    so let's do that to finish off the day!
[11:49] ---
    Why not? There was a store
    over there selling them,
[11:52] ---
    so let's head over to the riverside.
[11:54] ---
    This looks like it will be fun.
[11:56] ---
    Okay, here we go!
[12:09] ---
    Kakizaki!
[12:25] ---
    Oh, they're so beautiful.
[12:28] ---
    Bon festival, fireworks... Okay, done.
[12:32] ---
    Okay, tomorrow we'll be catching bugs!
[12:34] ---
    Haruhi, it's fine to want to play around,
[12:36] ---
    but are you finished
    with your summer homework?
[12:39] ---
    Not that I've any right to talk,
    since I'm nowhere near done.
[12:41] ---
    What, you can finish
    all of that in just three days.
[12:46] ---
    Three days?!
[12:46] ---
    I finished it all in July.
[12:49] ---
    I took care of all of that bothersome stuff
[12:52] ---
    so I could have fun
    without having to worry about it.
[12:54] ---
    That's how you enjoy your summer vacation.
[12:57] ---
    Why is she so smart?
[13:00] ---
    It seems like the guys up in heaven
    that were divvying up our stats
[13:02] ---
    were being pretty lax about it.
[13:03] ---
    In any case, we're going
    to go bug catching tomorrow!
[13:06] ---
    Whoever catches the most bugs...
[13:08] ---
    That's right. They'll get to be
    the brigade leader for a day!
[13:12] ---
    Ugh, no thanks.
[13:14] ---
    That sounds interesting. Are any bugs okay?
[13:17] ---
    Hmm... Only cicadas!
[13:20] ---
    That's it, this will be the SOS Brigade's
    Cicada Capturing Competition!
[13:24] ---
    Whoever catches the most wins!
[13:31] ---
    The next day, I wanted it to rain so much
[13:33] ---
    that I drove a nail through a teruteru bouzu.
[13:36] ---
    But despite that, it was
    an incredibly beautiful and clear day.
[13:39] ---
    It felt like the warmest day of the summer,
[13:41] ---
    and it seemed like it was
    making all of the cicadas happy.
[13:44] ---
    I wonder if you can eat cicadas.
[13:47] ---
    No idea.
[13:49] ---
    They might be delicious
    if you fried them in tempura.
[13:51] ---
    Fine. Try it out yourself.
[13:53] ---
    You know, sometimes, I wonder...
    When it comes to tempura,
[13:56] ---
    maybe it's just the outside
    that's delicious.
[13:58] ---
    If that's the case,
    maybe it's the same with cicadas.
[14:01] ---
    Apologize! Apologize to the
    tempura restaurants across Japan!
[14:05] ---
    So what's with making all of us, at our age,
[14:10] ---
    walk here carrying
    bug-catching nets and cages?
[14:13] ---
    What are you talking about?
[14:15] ---
    If we didn't have bug-catching nets,
[14:16] ---
    we wouldn't be able to
    catch any cicadas, would we?
[14:18] ---
    That's not what I'm talking about.
[14:21] ---
    Okay, we're going to start!
[14:22] ---
    The winner is the brigade leader for a day!
[14:24] ---
    Ready... start!
[14:26] ---
    She's not listening.
[14:28] ---
    Umm...
[14:29] ---
    It looks like she really wants to win.
[14:31] ---
    I think that's a good thing, don't you?
[14:34] ---
    Sheesh. I haven't caught cicadas
    since I was in elementary school.
[14:39] ---
    Same here. Let's do our best.
[14:48] ---
    Have you already caught one?
[14:52] ---
    That's not a cicada.
[14:54] ---
    Oh.
[14:57] ---
    That's a Hercules beetle!
[15:34] ---
    And now, the results!
[15:36] ---
    Mikuru caught one.
[15:38] ---
    Yuki caught four.
[15:39] ---
    Koizumi caught seven.
[15:41] ---
    Kyon caught nine.
[15:42] ---
    And the top record is...
[15:44] ---
    We already know. You don't have to say.
[15:46] ---
    Me, with twelve!
[15:48] ---
    I guess I can't give up the brigade
    leader position, even for a day.
[15:52] ---
    Sorry, everyone!
[15:53] ---
    Now, you're not actually going to
    make these into tempura, are you?
[15:57] ---
    What? Do you want to eat them?
[15:59] ---
    Why does it come back to me?
[16:00] ---
    I'm kidding. A catch-and-release
    attitude is important, right?
[16:05] ---
    If we let them go,
    then they might come back to repay us.
[16:09] ---
    There you go! Go back to the mountains!
    Don't get caught again!
[16:20] ---
    Hold on a second.
    That may be a good deed and all,
[16:23] ---
    but all you did was catch them
    and then let them go.
[16:27] ---
    The next day...
[16:30] ---
    ...Haruhi found us part-time jobs
    somewhere that was glad to have us.
[16:36] ---
    Our job was to bring in customers...
[16:37] ---
    Brigade Leader
[16:37] ---
    Do your best!
[16:39] ---
    ...for the local supermarket's anniversary sale.
[16:45] ---
    Thank you...
[16:47] ---
    Here you go.
[16:51] ---
    Here.
[16:56] ---
    Why do I have to wear this outfit?
[17:01] ---
    If you want to work a part-time job,
[17:02] ---
    there are more appropriate ones
    for the summer, you know?
[17:06] ---
    And to top it all off,
    Haruhi is still nice and cool!
[17:08] ---
    If we end up getting the same
    amount of pay, I'm going to riot!
[17:14] ---
    I really understand how
    a snake that's shed its skin feels.
[17:18] ---
    That's a good analogy.
[17:20] ---
    Good work, everyone. The manager is thankful.
[17:24] ---
    I don't care about his thanks.
    Where's our pay?
[17:27] ---
    This is it.
[17:28] ---
    Huh?
[17:30] ---
    This costume is our pay.
[17:32] ---
    I've wanted this for a while.
[17:34] ---
    The owner said that
    he'd give it to us for Mikuru's sake.
[17:38] ---
    We'll hang this frog up
    in the clubroom as a memento!
[17:42] ---
    Mikuru, you can wear it whenever
    you want. You have my permission!
[17:48] ---
    Ribbit.
[17:52] ---
    We went to the pool, to a Bon festival,
[17:53] ---
    caught bugs, and worked a part-time job.
[17:56] ---
    Next up, Haruhi had us
    scheduled to go stargazing.
[17:59] ---
    Wow, so this is a telescope from this era.
[18:03] ---
    It doesn't seem that different
    from the ones from Kepler's time.
[18:06] ---
    No, I think it's pretty different.
[18:08] ---
    Did you buy this for tonight?
[18:11] ---
    No, this was my hobby when I was younger.
[18:15] ---
    I was pretty moved when I caught
    a glimpse of the moons of Jupiter.
[18:21] ---
    I've spotted Mars.
[18:26] ---
    I wonder if they exist.
[18:27] ---
    If who exists?
[18:29] ---
    Martians.
[18:30] ---
    I kind of don't want them to.
[18:32] ---
    If there were octopus-like
    monsters wriggling around,
[18:34] ---
    planning on conquering the Earth,
[18:37] ---
    there's just no way I could say
    that sounded like "fun."
[18:38] ---
    Why not? They might be
    a very friendly people.
[18:43] ---
    I'm sure they're a reserved people,
    secretly living in underground caverns.
[18:48] ---
    I'm sure they're just trying
    not to surprise us Earthlings.
[18:51] ---
    Exactly how reserved
    are the Martians you're imagining?
[18:56] ---
    I've had enough of Mars. Let's look for UFOs!
[18:59] ---
    Their scouting fleets
    should be standing by in orbit.
[19:04] ---
    Come on, Mikuru, help out!
[19:07] ---
    U-F-Os, U-F-Os!
[19:19] ---
    Our summer vacation continued.
    The next thing Haruhi said was:
[19:23] ---
    We're going to a batting center!
[19:25] ---
    Why there?
[19:26] ---
    It came to me this morning while
    watching the news from Koshien.
[19:29] ---
    We can't be satisfied by
    a mere sandlot baseball game.
[19:32] ---
    I think that the SOS Brigade needs to
    form its own national-level team.
[19:41] ---
    Chuka soba!
[19:47] ---
    She sure is something.
    Where does she get her energy from?
[19:51] ---
    She may have a different amount
    of mitochondria packed into her cells.
[19:57] ---
    She should use her gifts for
    the sake of the world some more.
[20:00] ---
    All right!
[20:01] ---
    Home Run
[20:07] ---
    After that, in an attempt to run through
    the schedule that she had set for us,
[20:11] ---
    we kept going, day after day,
[20:13] ---
    too fast for anyone to hit the pause button.
[20:18] ---
    We went to a real fireworks show.
[20:21] ---
    The fireworks burst into bloom
    in the sky, one after another,
[20:24] ---
    leaving us with a grand feeling in our hearts.
[20:26] ---
    That one was awesome!
[20:28] ---
    Goby Fishing Tournament
[20:29] ---
    On yet another day,
    she also made us take part
[20:31] ---
    in a goby fishing tournament
    at the prefectural river.
[20:42] ---
    Ah! Mikuru, your fishing pole!
[20:44] ---
    Leave it to me, I'll get it back.
[20:47] ---
    It continued on.
[20:49] ---
    While it's admittedly a staple of the summer,
[20:51] ---
    there probably aren't many people
    who do tests of courage.
[20:57] ---
    We went to see a movie that was
    hyped so much it was overblown,
[21:00] ---
    but it was just your usual
    "summer blockbuster."
[21:06] ---
    We went to the beach when
    the jellyfish were closest to the shore.
[21:12] ---
    We went bowling, but we couldn't
    leave until we all got a strike,
[21:15] ---
    as if we were playing some kind of penalty game.
[21:19] ---
    We went to karaoke, singing for a long time,
[21:22] ---
    as if we were trying to
    challenge the limits of our voices.
[21:29] ---
    In short, it felt like there were
    non-summer things in there as well,
[21:33] ---
    but we ended up enjoying ourselves
    to the fullest these two weeks.
[21:44] ---
    As of today, August 30th,
    we have pretty much completed our list.
[21:48] ---
    Good grief, we're finally done.
[21:51] ---
    I wonder if this was good enough.
[21:54] ---
    But, hmm, well... I guess this works.
[21:58] ---
    Hey, is there anything else you want to do?
[22:00] ---
    Not particularly.
[22:01] ---
    We've done enough, haven't we?
[22:03] ---
    I'd like to sleep for a while.
[22:05] ---
    What about you, Yuki?
[22:08] ---
    I see.
[22:09] ---
    That's fine, then. We were
    able to do a lot this summer.
[22:13] ---
    We went all over the place, we wore
    yukata, and caught a lot of cicadas.
[22:19] ---
    Yeah, that works.
[22:22] ---
    Is there something that
    she would regret not doing?
[22:26] ---
    Okay, we're done for today.
[22:27] ---
    I had tomorrow set aside just in case,
    but you can just take the day off.
[22:34] ---
    Let's meet again in the clubroom
    the day after tomorrow.
[22:51] ---
    Man, I haven't done
    any of my homework at all.
[23:03] ---
    August 31st, the last day
    of our summer vacation.
[23:06] ---
    No matter how hard I tried, there was no way
    I'd be able to finish all of my homework.
[23:10] ---
    I couldn't recover from all of
    the running around we did, either,
[23:14] ---
    so in the end I just spent the day slacking off.
[23:21] ---
    What the heck're you talkin' about?
[23:22] ---
    Boring.
[23:28] ---
    Whatever. It'll work out.
[23:51] ---
    I guess I'll go to sleep...
    School's starting back up, after all...
[23:56] ---
    Beep.
[24:07] ---
    It fell from the sky
[24:09] ---
    With all of the wishes that were made upon it
[24:12] ---
    Maybe it was a little too heavy for a single star
[24:17] ---
    Something just doesn't seem right
[24:20] ---
    The image of you in my mind has vanished
[24:22] ---
    Can I say that I remember you clearly?
[24:27] ---
    Stop!
[24:28] ---
    The past belongs to me
[24:32] ---
    Of course I don't want
    to trade it with anyone else
[24:37] ---
    That's because
[24:38] ---
    It was my birthday,
    and when we saw each other
[24:43] ---
    We could see the first dream
[24:46] ---
    That we had when we were born
[24:48] ---
    Worrying about "what do I do?"
[24:53] ---
    Is laughable when I think about it now
[24:57] ---
    I've already forgotten it
[25:00] ---
    Let's search for you

E13 - Endless Eight II
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:24] ---
    Something seems off.
[00:26] ---
    It just somehow felt that way.
[00:29] ---
    I had absolutely no interest
    in the prefectural game on the TV,
[00:34] ---
    but because of my sympathetic personality,
[00:36] ---
    I ended up kind of rooting for the losing side.
[00:38] ---
    Once I did, I got the feeling
[00:40] ---
    that Haruhi was going to call any minute.
[00:43] ---
    Incoming call: Haruhi Suzumiya
[00:45] ---
    What does she want?
[00:47] ---
    Kyon, the phone's ringing.
[00:48] ---
    I know, you don't have to tell me.
[00:51] ---
    You're not doing anything today, right?
[00:52] ---
    We're all meeting at exactly
    two o'clock in front of the station.
[00:54] ---
    Be sure to show up.
[00:58] ---
    I didn't even say anything...
[01:01] ---
    What?
[01:02] ---
    I forgot to mention this--
    bring a swimsuit, and plenty of money.
[01:07] ---
    And be sure to bring your bike.
    That's all, over and out!
[01:10] ---
    Ugh, no.
[01:13] ---
    And again, I somehow
    got the feeling that I knew
[01:15] ---
    what Haruhi was going to say.
[01:18] ---
    No, not quite.
[01:19] ---
    To be precise,
[01:21] ---
    it felt like this exact same
    conversation had happened before.
[01:24] ---
    I guess it's what you would call déjà vu.
[01:33] ---
    Summer's almost over.
[01:45] ---
    Day by day, everything's just so dull
[01:50] ---
    That's why you need to become
    someone that can just reject it all
[01:55] ---
    Oh my boy, you need to be decisive
[01:59] ---
    I won't deal with any lies
    in this small world
[02:05] ---
    I found myself on my own,
    it's natural you'd fall for me
[02:10] ---
    Kick away the boring ways of doing things,
[02:12] ---
    I'm going to decide everything
[02:16] ---
    I say, I say my heaven
[02:19] ---
    Super driver, leave everything to the rush
[02:21] ---
    And just keep going forward, no matter what
[02:23] ---
    Surpass (Don't you stop me)
    The idea of "impossible"
[02:27] ---
    Take it easy, go!
[02:28] ---
    I agree, it's going to be a huge victory
[02:30] ---
    Of course, it'll feel pleasant,
    no matter what happens
[02:33] ---
    A review meeting? (Get back to wild)
    Forget that, now hurry up
[02:38] ---
    We haven't tried this or that,
    we always do things how we want
[02:43] ---
    Everything's a new experience,
    let's try them out
[02:48] ---
    We haven't tried this or that,
    we always do things suddenly
[02:53] ---
    Everything's a new experience,
    what about it?
[02:58] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
[03:11] ---
    You're late, Kyon!
[03:11] ---
    Endless Eight II
[03:12] ---
    Show some more motivation!
[03:14] ---
    Yeah, yeah.
[03:16] ---
    Sorry I made you wait.
[03:18] ---
    I just got here, too.
[03:20] ---
    Okay, we're all here, so let's go.
[03:22] ---
    Where are we going?
[03:23] ---
    To the public swimming pool, of course!
[03:25] ---
    Well, I guess that makes sense
    considering what I brought.
[03:28] ---
    We have to do summer vacation-y
    things during our summer vacation!
[03:31] ---
    We can never get back
    the time that we've lost!
[03:35] ---
    And so we're going to
    do them now, during this,
[03:38] ---
    our one and only summer as tenth graders!
[03:40] ---
    By the way, we're going to the pool by bike.
[03:43] ---
    Did you ride your bikes too?
[03:45] ---
    No, the only two bikes we have
    are yours and mine.
[03:49] ---
    What?
[03:51] ---
    Listen, Kyon. You'd better not lose to Koizumi.
[03:54] ---
    This train is leaving the station!
[03:56] ---
    Boost!
[03:59] ---
    Hurry up and park your bikes, you two.
[04:02] ---
    Kyon, we're about to go have fun.
    This is no time to be exhausted.
[04:05] ---
    Whose fault do you think this is?
[04:11] ---
    Oh, the scent of chlorine.
    This really makes it feel like a pool!
[04:22] ---
    Hurry up and get in!
    The water's warm so it feels fine!
[04:25] ---
    Can't you read the "no diving"
    signs posted everywhere?
[04:29] ---
    That looks like fun.
[04:31] ---
    This makes me smile, though. It feels peaceful.
[04:36] ---
    Miss Suzumiya has some rather normal ways
[04:38] ---
    of enjoying her time, don't you think?
[04:40] ---
    Suddenly calling us up out of the blue,
[04:42] ---
    and only giving us a general idea
    of what's going to happen...
[04:45] ---
    That's not all that normal to me.
[04:47] ---
    In my opinion, that's really nothing.
[04:51] ---
    Miss Suzumiya, laughing and
    having a good time like that,
[04:54] ---
    isn't likely to shake up the world, after all.
[04:58] ---
    I hope that's the case...
[05:01] ---
    What's wrong?
[05:03] ---
    It's nothing...
[05:05] ---
    It's probably just my imagination.
[05:06] ---
    Because so much has happened
    since the beginning of spring,
[05:08] ---
    I've become a little paranoid.
[05:22] ---
    Hot!
[05:24] ---
    Hot!
[05:25] ---
    So hot!
[05:29] ---
    I think it'd be better to call this
    a communal pool than a public pool.
[05:35] ---
    I wonder why Haruhi chose this place.
[05:36] ---
    Here!
[05:46] ---
    There it is again, that sensation.
[05:49] ---
    It feels like I've seen this scene once before.
[05:52] ---
    Where Nagato kind of looks like she's bored...
[05:57] ---
    Kyon!
[06:00] ---
    Right, and then Haruhi says this...
[06:04] ---
    These two are my brigade members.
[06:06] ---
    They'll do anything you ask,
    so ask for anything you want!
[06:10] ---
    Okay, let's have some fun!
    We're going to play water soccer!
[06:14] ---
    Gotcha.
[06:15] ---
    Well, déjà vu isn't all that uncommon.
[06:18] ---
    Here I go, Mikuru!
[06:20] ---
    Okay!
[06:25] ---
    I've been thinking about how
    we should spend our summer vacation.
[06:28] ---
    What do you think?
[06:29] ---
    Summer vacation
[06:30] ---
    She wants us to do all this in just under two weeks?
[06:32] ---
    Is there anything else
    you want to do, Mikuru?
[06:34] ---
    Umm... I'd like to try goldfish scooping.
[06:37] ---
    Okay! Goldfish scooping...
[06:41] ---
    Pardon me for a moment.
[06:48] ---
    Thank you.
[06:48] ---
    We start the plan tomorrow!
[06:50] ---
    Is there a place nearby having a Bon festival?
[06:52] ---
    A fireworks show would work, too.
[06:55] ---
    I'll check around.
[06:57] ---
    Don't forget about the goldfish scooping!
[06:59] ---
    It's Mikuru's sole request, after all.
[07:01] ---
    Roger that.
[07:03] ---
    I had to pay again?
[07:06] ---
    All right, then, we're done for today!
[07:08] ---
    If you'll excuse me.
[07:09] ---
    I have to go, too...
[07:25] ---
    Nagato!
[07:31] ---
    Umm... No, it's nothing important, but...
[07:35] ---
    How have you been? Everything fine?
[07:38] ---
    Fine.
[07:39] ---
    That's good to hear.
[07:45] ---
    Yes.
[07:51] ---
    What the heck? Why did I talk to her?
[07:56] ---
    The next morning, it was a call from Haruhi
[07:58] ---
    that awoke me from my slumber.
[08:01] ---
    They found a place
    that was holding a Bon festival.
[08:03] ---
    It seems to be happening
    tonight at a public park.
[08:11] ---
    We're all going to go buy yukata!
[08:12] ---
    Haruhi entered a women's clothing outlet store.
[08:15] ---
    She just went and chose yukata
    for Miss Asahina and Nagato,
[08:18] ---
    and then headed straight
    for the changing rooms.
[08:20] ---
    After making us wait about an hour or so,
[08:22] ---
    the three of them finally came out at once.
[08:25] ---
    Whoa!
[08:26] ---
    You all look wonderful.
[08:28] ---
    Of course! I chose these yukata, after all.
[08:31] ---
    Especially Mikuru!
[08:32] ---
    It's so cute on you! Just what
    you would expect from my choice!
[08:36] ---
    Yes...
[08:37] ---
    Her blushing makes it three times as cute!
[08:45] ---
    A Bon festival, huh?
[08:47] ---
    I guess it makes sense
    for there to be this many people.
[08:52] ---
    It's been a while
    since I've come to a Bon festival,
[08:54] ---
    but it feels like I went to one recently.
[08:57] ---
    That tower,
[08:58] ---
    those vendors...
[08:59] ---
    Mikuru!
[09:00] ---
    They have goldfish scooping,
    just like you wanted!
[09:03] ---
    Be sure to catch a bunch!
[09:05] ---
    Okay!
[09:08] ---
    Shall we play, too? How about a competition?
[09:11] ---
    I'll pass.
[09:13] ---
    What about you, Nagato?
    Want to eat something?
[09:37] ---
    You're interested in that stuff?
[09:40] ---
    Which one?
[09:41] ---
    It's all right.
[09:43] ---
    This one.
[09:44] ---
    Right-o, that'll be 800 yen.
[09:49] ---
    I kind of got the feeling that
    Nagato had been helping us out,
[09:52] ---
    so I thought buying it for her
    would be appropriate, but...
[09:56] ---
    Wow, what a haul!
[09:58] ---
    But I don't need so many, so I just kept one.
[10:02] ---
    And one for Mikuru, too.
[10:08] ---
    You can have one, but only one.
[10:11] ---
    Thanks.
[10:19] ---
    Huh? What's with the mask, Yuki?
[10:22] ---
    I bought it.
[10:25] ---
    I see.
[10:28] ---
    Now then, next up is fireworks!
[10:30] ---
    Let's launch some fireworks to end the day!
[10:32] ---
    Don't you understand
    the meaning of the word "moderation"?
[10:37] ---
    It was summer, and summer vacation.
[10:40] ---
    That's why I wanted to forget about it,
[10:43] ---
    but there was one thing lingering in my mind.
[10:48] ---
    Tomorrow we'll be catching bugs!
[10:50] ---
    Haruhi, it's fine to want to play around,
[10:51] ---
    but are you finished
    with your summer homework?
[10:53] ---
    What? You can finish homework
    like that in just three days.
[10:57] ---
    Three days?!
[10:59] ---
    I took care of all of that bothersome stuff
[11:02] ---
    so I could have fun
    without having to worry about it.
[11:04] ---
    That's how you enjoy your summer vacation.
[11:07] ---
    Why is she so smart?
[11:12] ---
    It seems like the guys up in heaven
    that were divvying up our stats
[11:15] ---
    were being pretty lax about it.
[11:18] ---
    Everyone, we're going to
    go bug catching tomorrow!
[11:21] ---
    Whoever catches the most bugs
[11:23] ---
    will get to be the brigade leader for one day!
[11:26] ---
    No thanks.
[11:26] ---
    That sounds interesting. Are any bugs okay?
[11:30] ---
    Hmm... Only cicadas!
[11:32] ---
    That's it. This will be the SOS Brigade's
    Cicada Capturing Competition!
[11:38] ---
    The next day was yet again a beautiful day.
[11:42] ---
    It looks like each of us did try,
    in their own way,
[11:44] ---
    but of course, or something to that effect,
[11:46] ---
    the winner ended up being Haruhi.
[11:48] ---
    A catch-and-release attitude
    is important, right?
[11:52] ---
    If we let them go, then they
    might come back to repay us.
[11:56] ---
    What could a cicada do,
    even if it did come back?
[11:59] ---
    There you go! Go back to the mountains!
[12:08] ---
    For some reason, I kind of
    feel like Pandora opening her box.
[12:14] ---
    Welcome!
[12:17] ---
    The next day, we met up,
[12:19] ---
    even though we had
    no idea what was going on.
[12:21] ---
    And we continued to have
    no idea what was going on,
[12:23] ---
    even as we were made to wear frog costumes,
[12:25] ---
    and pass out balloons in front of
    a supermarket as our part-time job.
[12:29] ---
    Whew!
[12:31] ---
    Good work, everyone.
[12:32] ---
    What's with this difference
    in how we're being treated?
[12:34] ---
    Thanks for the hard work.
    The manager is thankful.
[12:38] ---
    I don't care about his thanks.
    Where's our pay?
[12:41] ---
    This is it.
[12:42] ---
    Huh?
[12:42] ---
    I've wanted this for a while.
[12:45] ---
    The owner said that he'd
    give it to us for Mikuru's sake.
[12:48] ---
    We worked, sweat pouring
    down our foreheads, for that?
[12:52] ---
    Let's hang this frog up
    in the clubroom as a memento.
[12:54] ---
    Mikuru, you can wear it whenever
    you want. You have my permission!
[13:07] ---
    That night, a single phone call
    stole me away from my slumber.
[13:13] ---
    Dammit.
[13:20] ---
    Kyon...
[13:23] ---
    Miss Asahina?
[13:24] ---
    Yes, it's me...
[13:27] ---
    Something... very not good has...
[13:29] ---
    At this rate, I...
[13:34] ---
    Umm...
[13:34] ---
    Hello, this is Koizumi.
[13:38] ---
    Why are you with Miss Asahina?
[13:41] ---
    Certain circumstances came up.
[13:43] ---
    Would it be possible
    for you to come join us right now?
[13:45] ---
    I'll be right there. Where are you?
[13:52] ---
    What in the world happened, Miss Asahina?
[13:58] ---
    Kyon... I...
[14:03] ---
    I can't return to the future...
[14:16] ---
    In other words, this is what's going on.
[14:18] ---
    We are going through
    an eternal loop of the same time period.
[14:21] ---
    Even if you can say something
    as impossible as that
[14:24] ---
    with a smile on your face...
[14:25] ---
    Koizumi, do you realize what you're saying?
[14:28] ---
    I do. Much more than I wish I did.
[14:32] ---
    I had just been speaking with Miss Asahina...
[14:34] ---
    Call me too, when you have talks with her!
[14:37] ---
    ...and as a result,
    what we realized was that recently,
[14:39] ---
    the flow of time was a bit strange.
[14:42] ---
    You might want to credit this to Miss Asahina.
[14:45] ---
    Thanks to her, I was able to confirm it.
[14:47] ---
    Confirm what?
[14:49] ---
    That we have experienced
    the same span of time numerous times.
[14:53] ---
    You said that earlier.
[14:55] ---
    To be precise, we've been repeating the time
[14:57] ---
    from August 17th to the 31st.
[15:00] ---
    It's a never-ending endless summer.
[15:02] ---
    This world has lost
    all time after September 1st.
[15:07] ---
    That is why Miss Asahina
    cannot return to the future.
[15:11] ---
    I suppose you could say that it's natural.
[15:12] ---
    What's natural about there being
    no future? Who'd believe it?
[15:17] ---
    At the least, we'd like you to believe it.
[15:20] ---
    Umm... I'll explain, too.
[15:25] ---
    Well... because of "classified information,"
[15:27] ---
    I'm always contacting the future
    and "classified information" -ing,
[15:33] ---
    but I hadn't received any
    "classified information"
[15:35] ---
    for about a week or so,
    and I thought, "that's strange."
[15:38] ---
    And so I "classified information"...
[15:42] ---
    I was so surprised, I tried to
    "classified information,"
[15:47] ---
    but it was completely
    "classified information"...
[15:50] ---
    Oh, what do I do?
[15:52] ---
    I don't know what you
    should do, but I wonder,
[15:55] ---
    are your "classified information" s
    things that can't be said on TV?
[16:00] ---
    Are we trapped inside
    one of those closed spaces?
[16:06] ---
    That's not it.
[16:08] ---
    A single portion of time has been torn away.
[16:12] ---
    At exactly the point when
    it becomes midnight on August 31st,
[16:15] ---
    everything resets, and we go back
    to August 17th. That's the process.
[16:20] ---
    So what about our...
    No, the whole world's memories?
[16:24] ---
    Those are reset as well.
    Everything starts over from the beginning.
[16:28] ---
    So you mean that time
    does that thing that you mentioned.
[16:30] ---
    Well, we do have
    someone from the future here,
[16:32] ---
    so I guess it can't be helped.
[16:33] ---
    No, Miss Asahina isn't involved in this.
[16:36] ---
    Okay, then, what's causing this?
[16:38] ---
    I would guess Miss Suzumiya.
[16:42] ---
    I'm sure she doesn't realize it,
    but somewhere inside of her
[16:46] ---
    is a desire to not let summer vacation end.
[16:48] ---
    What the heck?
    Do you mean she's got regrets?
[16:52] ---
    That's what I believe.
[16:53] ---
    Perhaps she feels that there's something left
[16:56] ---
    that she wants to do
    during our summer vacation?
[16:58] ---
    Man, the hopeless situations
    she causes unfold on a galactic scale.
[17:02] ---
    So, what are you saying I should do?
[17:04] ---
    If we knew that,
    we would have this problem solved.
[17:07] ---
    Your face is too close!
[17:09] ---
    I've been wondering this since I got here,
[17:10] ---
    but you seem awfully cheerful about this.
[17:13] ---
    It's because we've finally been able to solve
[17:15] ---
    the recent mysterious and
    frequent feelings of déjà vu that I've had,
[17:18] ---
    and that you may have had too.
[17:20] ---
    Now that I think about it,
    those inexplicable feelings may have been
[17:23] ---
    remnants from when
    our memories have been reset.
[17:27] ---
    Is it possible that other people
    across the world feel this, too?
[17:30] ---
    It doesn't seem that way.
    You and I are a special case.
[17:35] ---
    It appears that the people
    who are closest to Miss Suzumiya
[17:37] ---
    are able to sense this strangeness.
[17:40] ---
    What about Haruhi?
    Does she sense any of this at all?
[17:44] ---
    Not at all, it seems. It would
    probably be bad for us if she did.
[17:49] ---
    However, I believe that there is
    one person who remembers everything,
[17:54] ---
    more than the déjà vu that we do.
[17:57] ---
    And who would that be?
[18:00] ---
    I think you know, even without my saying.
[18:02] ---
    It's Miss Nagato.
[18:04] ---
    I believe that the Thought Entity,
[18:06] ---
    which transcends time and space,
    would be able to.
[18:10] ---
    Is that right?
[18:11] ---
    It is.
[18:13] ---
    You remember all of it?
[18:15] ---
    Yes.
[18:16] ---
    So, how many times have we
    repeated all of this, this time?
[18:20] ---
    This is the fifteen thousandth,
    four hundred and ninety-eighth time.
[18:25] ---
    15,498?
[18:28] ---
    What do you mean by 15,498?
    Nagato, what are you saying?
[18:34] ---
    Are you serious?
[18:36] ---
    I am.
[18:38] ---
    You're saying that we've done
    the exact same things that many times?
[18:42] ---
    They're not all guaranteed to happen.
[18:44] ---
    Out of 15,498 repetitions,
    there are two occasions,
[18:49] ---
    #2,391 and ♪11,054,
    where we did not go to a Bon festival.
[18:53] ---
    A pattern where we did go to a Bon festival,
[18:55] ---
    but did not go to a goldfish
    scooping stand, occurred 437 times.
[18:58] ---
    We've had a part-time job
    9,025 times, and when we did,
[19:01] ---
    there were six different--
[19:02] ---
    Okay, that's enough.
[19:08] ---
    15,498 times, that's what Nagato said.
[19:13] ---
    Times two weeks, hmm,
    that's around 594 years.
[19:19] ---
    She alone has memories of all that time,
[19:23] ---
    repeating it all over and over...
[19:26] ---
    Nagato, what have you
    been feeling this whole time?
[19:38] ---
    I've heard yet another crazy story.
[19:41] ---
    The next day we went stargazing.
[19:44] ---
    The location was the roof
    of Nagato's apartment,
[19:46] ---
    and the telescope was one
    that Koizumi had gotten for us.
[19:50] ---
    I wonder if they exist.
[19:51] ---
    Does what exist?
[19:52] ---
    Martians.
[19:53] ---
    I kind of don't want them to.
[19:54] ---
    It doesn't look like anyone's on the surface,
[19:57] ---
    so they're probably
    a reserved people, living underground.
[19:59] ---
    They're probably friendly.
[20:01] ---
    There's no guarantee of that.
[20:03] ---
    When man finally sets foot on Mars,
[20:05] ---
    I'm sure they'll come out
    from their cover and welcome us,
[20:08] ---
    saying, "Welcome to Mars!"
[20:10] ---
    It'll probably be mistaken for an attack.
[20:13] ---
    I'm bored of this. UFOs. Let's look for UFOs.
[20:22] ---
    Exactly what does she want to do?
[20:24] ---
    Now what could that be?
[20:26] ---
    If we could figure that out,
    this would all be solved...
[20:30] ---
    How about trying this out?
[20:32] ---
    Give Miss Suzumiya
    a sudden embrace from behind
[20:35] ---
    then whisper "I love you" into her ear.
[20:38] ---
    And who would be doing that?
[20:41] ---
    Is there anyone else who could
    fill the role other than you?
[20:45] ---
    I'm exercising my right to veto!
[20:47] ---
    Pass ♪1.
[20:50] ---
    All right, how about if I do it?
[20:56] ---
    I'm kidding. I'm lacking
    a certain something for the role.
[21:00] ---
    All that would do is cause
    unnecessary confusion in Miss Suzumiya.
[21:11] ---
    Next, we went off to a batting center.
[21:23] ---
    Hey, Nagato.
[21:25] ---
    You were aware of this loop before
    Miss Asahina said anything, right?
[21:30] ---
    Yes.
[21:32] ---
    If that's the case,
    why didn't you say anything?
[21:35] ---
    It's my job to observe.
[21:42] ---
    I see...
[21:44] ---
    We continued to run through
    a torrent of summer vacation events.
[21:48] ---
    We just kept going.
[21:51] ---
    Of course, I knew that this wasn't
    going to satisfy Haruhi.
[21:56] ---
    Even still, there wasn't
    anything I could do about it,
[21:58] ---
    and so we ended up at August 30th...
[22:02] ---
    Schedule: Karaoke, Goby fishing, Bowling...
[22:03] ---
    With this, we've finished everything on our list.
[22:09] ---
    I wonder if this was good enough.
[22:11] ---
    But, hmm, well... I guess this works.
[22:15] ---
    Hey, is there anything else you want to do?
[22:21] ---
    That's fine, then.
[22:23] ---
    We were able to do a lot this summer,
    so that's enough, right?
[22:27] ---
    No, it's not. You're still not satisfied.
[22:32] ---
    Okay, we're done for today.
[22:34] ---
    I had tomorrow set aside just in case,
[22:36] ---
    but you can just take the day off.
[22:38] ---
    Let's meet again in the clubroom
    the day after tomorrow.
[22:43] ---
    Wait, Haruhi!
[22:45] ---
    There it is again! That déjà vu!
[22:48] ---
    And it's a strong one,
    stronger than ever before.
[22:51] ---
    I can't let Haruhi leave. If she goes,
[22:55] ---
    we'll end up repeating these past two weeks
[22:57] ---
    for the some-thousandth time again.
[23:00] ---
    But what should I do?
[23:02] ---
    What should I say?
[23:05] ---
    There must have been a hint
    somewhere in what Haruhi said.
[23:08] ---
    But what was it?
[23:10] ---
    What has she said up to this point?
[23:14] ---
    I don't know... I can't... remember...
[23:25] ---
    August 31st. I haven't touched my homework.
[23:30] ---
    Whatever, it doesn't matter anymore.
[23:37] ---
    If we're just going to do it all over again,
[23:39] ---
    then there's no point to doing it.
[23:45] ---
    Whether tomorrow comes or not,
[23:48] ---
    I'll leave it to the me
    at that time to deal with it.
[24:00] ---
    It fell from the sky
[24:09] ---
    With all of the wishes that were made upon it
[24:12] ---
    Maybe it was a little too heavy for a single star
[24:17] ---
    Something just doesn't seem right
[24:20] ---
    The image of you in my mind has vanished
[24:22] ---
    Can I say that I remember you clearly?
[24:27] ---
    Stop!
[24:28] ---
    The past belongs to me
[24:32] ---
    Of course I don't want
    to trade it with anyone else
[24:37] ---
    That's because
[24:38] ---
    It was my birthday,
    and when we saw each other
[24:43] ---
    We could see the first dream
[24:46] ---
    That we had when we were born
[24:48] ---
    Worrying about "what do I do?"
[24:53] ---
    Is laughable when I think about it now
[24:57] ---
    I've already forgotten it
[25:00] ---
    Let's search for you

E14 - Endless Eight III
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:24] ---
    Something seems off.
[00:27] ---
    It just somehow felt that way.
[00:31] ---
    I had absolutely no interest in
    the prefectural game playing on the TV,
[00:36] ---
    but I kind of ended up
    rooting for the losing side.
[00:39] ---
    Once I did, I kind of got the feeling
[00:41] ---
    that Haruhi was going to start something.
[00:44] ---
    Incoming call: Haruhi Suzumiya
[00:49] ---
    Kyon, the phone's ringing.
[00:50] ---
    I know, you don't have to tell me.
[00:55] ---
    You're not doing anything today, right?
[00:57] ---
    We're all meeting at exactly
    two o'clock in front of the station.
[00:59] ---
    Be sure to show up.
[01:02] ---
    I didn't even say anything...
[01:05] ---
    Kyon, the phone's ringing.
[01:07] ---
    I know.
[01:09] ---
    What?
[01:09] ---
    I forgot to mention this--
[01:11] ---
    bring a swimsuit, and plenty of money.
[01:14] ---
    And be sure to bring your bike.
    That's all, over and out!
[01:17] ---
    What?
[01:21] ---
    I had the feeling that I knew
    what Haruhi was going to say.
[01:26] ---
    No, not quite.
[01:28] ---
    To be precise, it felt like this exact same
    conversation had happened before.
[01:32] ---
    I guess it's what you would call déjà vu.
[01:58] ---
    You're late, Kyon!
[02:00] ---
    Show some more motivation!
[02:01] ---
    Yeah, yeah.
[02:03] ---
    Sorry I made you wait.
[02:04] ---
    I just got here, too.
[02:06] ---
    Okay, we're all here, so let's go.
[02:09] ---
    Where are we going?
[02:10] ---
    To the public swimming pool, of course!
[02:12] ---
    Well, I guess that makes sense.
[02:14] ---
    We have to do summer vacation-y
    things during our summer vacation!
[02:19] ---
    We can never get back
    the time that we've lost!
[02:23] ---
    And so we're going to
    do them now, during this,
[02:24] ---
    our one and only summer as tenth graders!
[02:29] ---
    By the way, we're going to the pool by bike.
[02:32] ---
    Did you ride your bikes too?
[02:34] ---
    No, the only two bikes we have
    are yours and mine.
[02:38] ---
    Okay, are you ready?
[02:40] ---
    Of course not!
[02:42] ---
    I am!
[02:43] ---
    Kyon, you'd better not lose to Koizumi.
[02:47] ---
    This train is leaving the station!
[02:49] ---
    Dammit!
[03:00] ---
    Day by day, everything's just so dull
[03:05] ---
    That's why you need to become
    someone that can just reject it all
[03:10] ---
    Oh my boy, you need to be decisive
[03:14] ---
    I won't deal with any lies
    in this small world
[03:20] ---
    I found myself on my own,
    it's natural you'd fall for me
[03:25] ---
    Kick away the boring ways of doing things,
[03:27] ---
    I'm going to decide everything
[03:31] ---
    I say, I say my heaven
[03:34] ---
    Super driver, leave everything to the rush
[03:36] ---
    And just keep going forward, no matter what
[03:38] ---
    Surpass (Don't you stop me)
    The idea of "impossible"
[03:42] ---
    Take it easy, go!
[03:43] ---
    I agree, it's going to be a huge victory
[03:45] ---
    Of course, it'll feel pleasant,
    no matter what happens
[03:48] ---
    A review meeting? (Get back to wild)
    Forget that, now hurry up
[03:53] ---
    We haven't tried this or that,
    we always do things how we want
[03:58] ---
    Everything's a new experience,
    let's try them out
[04:03] ---
    We haven't tried this or that,
    we always do things suddenly
[04:08] ---
    Everything's a new experience,
    what about it?
[04:13] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
[04:21] ---
    Endless Eight III
[04:26] ---
    Kyon, we're about to go have fun.
    This is no time to be exhausted.
[04:30] ---
    You're such a slacker.
[04:31] ---
    Whose fault do you think this is?
[04:36] ---
    Oh, the scent of chlorine.
    This really makes it feel like a pool!
[04:42] ---
    Come on, time to go swimming! Let's race!
[04:50] ---
    No diving
[04:50] ---
    It's dangerous
[04:50] ---
    Can't you read this sign?
[04:52] ---
    Hurry up and get in!
    The water's warm so it feels fine!
[04:57] ---
    That looks like fun.
[04:59] ---
    This makes me smile, though.
[05:01] ---
    Miss Suzumiya has some rather normal ways
[05:04] ---
    of enjoying her time, don't you think?
[05:07] ---
    Miss Suzumiya, laughing and
    having a good time like that,
[05:11] ---
    isn't likely to shake up the world, after all.
[05:16] ---
    I hope that's the case...
[05:21] ---
    What's wrong?
[05:24] ---
    Koizumi!
[05:26] ---
    It's nothing...
[05:27] ---
    It's probably just my imagination.
[05:29] ---
    Because so much has happened
    since the beginning of spring,
[05:32] ---
    I've become a little paranoid.
[05:35] ---
    Come on, let's go swim.
[05:38] ---
    Hey!
[05:41] ---
    Hey now!
[05:42] ---
    Take that!
[05:44] ---
    Get back here!
[05:54] ---
    I think it'd be better to call this
    a communal pool than a public pool.
[06:07] ---
    This feeling...
[06:10] ---
    It feels like I've seen this scene once before.
[06:14] ---
    Where Nagato kind of looks like
    she's bored... and then...
[06:18] ---
    Kyon!
[06:19] ---
    Right, and then
    Haruhi shows up and says this...
[06:23] ---
    These two are my brigade members.
[06:25] ---
    They'll do anything you ask,
    so ask for anything you want!
[06:29] ---
    Okay, let's have some fun!
    We're going to play water soccer.
[06:32] ---
    Come on!
[06:33] ---
    Well, déjà vu isn't all that uncommon.
[06:36] ---
    Here I go, Mikuru!
[06:37] ---
    Okay!
[06:42] ---
    I'm sorry!
[06:45] ---
    Summer outing
[06:45] ---
    What is this?
[06:47] ---
    I thought about what
    we'll be doing from here on.
[06:50] ---
    It's a schedule of how we'll spend
[06:52] ---
    the rest of our short summer vacation.
[06:54] ---
    We only have two weeks
    of summer vacation left.
[06:58] ---
    And yet it feels like there are
    a lot of things we've yet to do.
[07:01] ---
    But we've only got this much time left.
[07:04] ---
    That's why we're going to pick up the pace!
[07:06] ---
    Is there anything else you want to do, Mikuru?
[07:09] ---
    Umm... I'd like to try goldfish scooping.
[07:13] ---
    Okay! Goldfish scooping...
[07:18] ---
    Pardon me for a moment.
[07:23] ---
    Thank you.
[07:26] ---
    Is there a place nearby having a Bon festival?
[07:28] ---
    A fireworks show would work, too.
[07:31] ---
    I'll check around.
[07:33] ---
    Don't forget about the goldfish scooping!
[07:35] ---
    It's Mikuru's sole request, after all.
[07:38] ---
    Roger that.
[07:40] ---
    Okay, Kyon. We're starting tomorrow!
[07:46] ---
    Incoming call: Haruhi Suzumiya
[07:49] ---
    The next morning, it was Haruhi
    that awoke me from my slumber.
[07:55] ---
    They found a place
    that was holding a Bon festival.
[07:57] ---
    It seems to be happening
    tonight at a public park.
[08:01] ---
    Both Mikuru and Yuki said
    that they don't own a yukata.
[08:05] ---
    So we're going to
    go buy some to wear tonight.
[08:08] ---
    I don't own one either,
[08:09] ---
    and there's a place
    selling them in sets for cheap!
[08:12] ---
    You're coming too!
[08:16] ---
    Haruhi entered
    a women's clothing outlet store.
[08:19] ---
    She just went and chose yukata
    for Miss Asahina and Nagato,
[08:22] ---
    and then headed straight
    for the changing rooms.
[08:24] ---
    After making us wait about an hour or so...
[08:26] ---
    (That'd make anyone yawn.)
[08:28] ---
    ...the three of them finally came out at once.
[08:31] ---
    Excellent!
[08:32] ---
    You all look wonderful.
[08:35] ---
    Of course! I chose these yukata, after all.
[08:38] ---
    Especially Mikuru!
[08:40] ---
    It's so cute on you!
    Just what you would expect from my choice!
[08:44] ---
    Yes...
[08:46] ---
    Miss Asahina... it's so good, Miss Asahina!
[08:54] ---
    I guess it makes sense
    for there to be this many people.
[08:58] ---
    Hmm? There it is again...
[09:00] ---
    This feeling...
[09:03] ---
    It's been a while
    since I've come to a Bon festival,
[09:05] ---
    but it feels like I went to one recently.
[09:08] ---
    That tower, those vendors...
[09:11] ---
    This is...
[09:12] ---
    Mikuru!
[09:13] ---
    They have goldfish scooping,
    just like you wanted!
[09:17] ---
    This way!
[09:18] ---
    Okay!
[09:20] ---
    Shall we play, too?
[09:24] ---
    I'll pass.
[09:35] ---
    You're interested in that stuff?
[09:42] ---
    Which one? I'll buy it...
[09:44] ---
    It's all right.
[09:45] ---
    This one.
[09:46] ---
    Right-o.
[09:50] ---
    I kind of got the feeling that
    Nagato had been helping us out,
[09:53] ---
    so I thought buying it for her
    would be appropriate, but...
[09:58] ---
    Wow, what a haul!
[10:00] ---
    Thirteen!
[10:02] ---
    But I don't need so many,
    so I just kept one for each of us.
[10:08] ---
    Huh? What's with the mask, Yuki?
[10:12] ---
    I bought it.
[10:14] ---
    I see.
[10:17] ---
    I need to use your back for a second.
[10:19] ---
    What?
[10:20] ---
    Just turn around!
[10:22] ---
    Hey.
[10:23] ---
    Now then, next up is fireworks!
[10:26] ---
    Let's launch some fireworks to end the day!
[10:29] ---
    Don't you understand the meaning
    of the word "moderation"?
[10:35] ---
    It was summer, and summer vacation.
[10:39] ---
    That's why I wanted to forget about it,
[10:42] ---
    but there was one thing
    lingering in my mind.
[10:48] ---
    Okay, everyone,
    tomorrow we'll be catching bugs!
[10:51] ---
    This will be the SOS Brigade's
    Cicada Capturing Competition!
[10:54] ---
    Whoever catches the most bugs
[10:57] ---
    will get to be the brigade leader for one day!
[11:00] ---
    Haruhi, it's fine to want to play around,
[11:02] ---
    but are you finished
    with your summer homework?
[11:05] ---
    What are you talking about?
[11:07] ---
    You can finish homework
    like that in just three days.
[11:10] ---
    Take care of all of that bothersome stuff
[11:13] ---
    so you can have fun without
    having to worry about it.
[11:17] ---
    That's how you enjoy your summer vacation!
[11:22] ---
    Why is she so smart?
[11:26] ---
    The next day was yet again a beautiful day.
[11:30] ---
    It was on this day
[11:32] ---
    that we had the SOS Brigade
    Cicada Capturing Competition.
[11:34] ---
    It looks like each of us did try,
    in their own way,
[11:37] ---
    but of course, or something to that effect,
[11:39] ---
    the winner ended up being Haruhi.
[11:43] ---
    The next day, we met up,
[11:45] ---
    even though we had no idea what was going on.
[11:47] ---
    And we continued to have
    no idea what was going on,
[11:49] ---
    even as we were made to wear frog costumes,
[11:51] ---
    and pass out balloons in front of
    a supermarket as our part-time job.
[11:58] ---
    Are you all right?
[11:59] ---
    I thought I was going to die.
    Actually, I am going to die.
[12:01] ---
    Thanks for the hard work,
    especially in this heat.
[12:05] ---
    The manager is thankful.
[12:08] ---
    I don't care about his thanks.
    Where's our pay?
[12:11] ---
    This is it.
[12:12] ---
    I've wanted this for a while.
[12:15] ---
    The owner said that
    he'd give it to us for Mikuru's sake.
[12:18] ---
    We worked for that?
[12:21] ---
    Mikuru, you can wear it whenever
    you want. You have my permission!
[12:26] ---
    Ribbit.
[12:35] ---
    That night, a single phone call
    stole me away from my slumber.
[12:42] ---
    Dammit.
[12:47] ---
    Yes?
[12:49] ---
    Whoa!
[12:51] ---
    Kyon...
[12:56] ---
    Is that you, Miss Asahina?
[12:58] ---
    Yes, it's me...
[13:01] ---
    Something... very not good has...
[13:04] ---
    At this rate, I...
[13:07] ---
    Umm...
[13:08] ---
    Hello, this is Koizumi.
[13:10] ---
    Why are you with Miss Asahina?!
[13:12] ---
    Certain circumstances came up.
[13:14] ---
    Would it be possible for you
    to come join us right now?
[13:16] ---
    Of course! I'll be right there!
[13:38] ---
    What in the world happened, Miss Asahina?
[13:41] ---
    Kyon... I can't return to the future!
[13:50] ---
    Can't return?
[13:51] ---
    Err... What do you mean, can't return?
[13:54] ---
    In other words, this is what's going on.
[13:56] ---
    We are going through
    an eternal loop of the same time period.
[14:01] ---
    What?
[14:02] ---
    We are going through
    an eternal loop of the same time period.
[14:06] ---
    We are going through an eternal loop...
[14:09] ---
    Koizumi, do you realize what you're saying?
[14:12] ---
    I do. Much more than I wish I did.
[14:16] ---
    I had just been speaking with Miss Asahina.
[14:19] ---
    Call me too.
[14:20] ---
    And as a result,
    what we realized was that recently,
[14:22] ---
    the flow of time was a bit strange.
[14:25] ---
    You might want to
    credit this to Miss Asahina.
[14:28] ---
    Thanks to her, I was able to confirm it.
[14:30] ---
    Confirm what?
[14:31] ---
    That we have experienced
    the same span of time numerous times.
[14:39] ---
    You said that earlier.
[14:40] ---
    To be precise, we've been repeating the time
[14:43] ---
    from August 17th to the 31st.
[14:45] ---
    We're in the middle of
    an endless summer vacation.
[14:49] ---
    Well, we're certainly in the middle.
[14:52] ---
    It's a never-ending endless summer.
[14:55] ---
    This world has lost
    all time after September 1st.
[15:01] ---
    That is why Miss Asahina
    cannot return to the future.
[15:05] ---
    I suppose you could say that it's natural
[15:07] ---
    that she can't return
    to a future that doesn't exist.
[15:09] ---
    Cut it out. What's natural about
    something as stupid as that?
[15:13] ---
    Who'd believe it?
[15:17] ---
    We'd like for you to believe it.
[15:22] ---
    Umm... I'll explain, too.
[15:25] ---
    Well... because of "classified information,"
[15:31] ---
    I'm always contacting the future
    and "classified information" -ing,
[15:38] ---
    but I hadn't received
    any "classified information"
[15:41] ---
    for about a week or so,
    and I thought, "that's strange."
[15:44] ---
    And so I "classified information"...
[15:47] ---
    I was so surprised, I tried to "classified,"
[15:50] ---
    Miss Asahina, are your "classified"s
[15:52] ---
    but it was completely "classified"...
[15:54] ---
    things that can't be said on TV?
[16:00] ---
    Are we trapped inside
    one of those closed spaces?
[16:06] ---
    That's not it.
[16:08] ---
    A single portion of time has been torn away.
[16:11] ---
    At exactly the point when
    it becomes midnight on August 31st,
[16:15] ---
    everything resets, and we go back
    to August 17th. That's the process.
[16:19] ---
    So what about our...
    No, humanity's memories?
[16:23] ---
    Those are reset as well.
    Everything starts over from the beginning.
[16:28] ---
    So you mean that time
    does that thing that you mentioned.
[16:33] ---
    Well, I guess it can't be helped.
[16:35] ---
    Oh no, Miss Asahina isn't involved in this.
[16:39] ---
    Okay, then, what is?
[16:41] ---
    I would guess Miss Suzumiya.
[16:46] ---
    I'm sure she doesn't realize it,
    but somewhere inside of her
[16:49] ---
    is a desire to not let summer vacation end.
[16:52] ---
    Do you mean she feels regret over something?
[16:55] ---
    That's what I believe.
[16:57] ---
    Perhaps she feels that there's something left
[17:00] ---
    that she wants to do
    during our summer vacation?
[17:03] ---
    Man, the hopeless situations
    she causes unfold on a galactic scale.
[17:11] ---
    I've been wondering this since I got here,
[17:13] ---
    but you seem awfully cheerful about this.
[17:15] ---
    It's because we've finally been able to solve
[17:17] ---
    the recent mysterious and frequent
    feelings of déjà vu that I've had.
[17:20] ---
    Now that I think about it,
    those inexplicable feelings may have been
[17:22] ---
    remnants from when
    our memories have been reset.
[17:27] ---
    You've been feeling them too, right?
[17:32] ---
    Is it possible that other people
    across the world feel this, too?
[17:36] ---
    You and I are a special case.
[17:39] ---
    It appears that the people
    who are closest to Miss Suzumiya
[17:42] ---
    are able to sense this strangeness.
[17:45] ---
    What about Haruhi?
    Does she sense any of this at all?
[17:48] ---
    Not at all, it seems. It would
    probably be bad for us if she did.
[17:55] ---
    However, I believe that there is
    one person who remembers everything,
[18:01] ---
    more than the déjà vu that we do.
[18:05] ---
    And who would that be?
[18:07] ---
    I think you know.
[18:13] ---
    Is that right, Nagato?
[18:14] ---
    It is.
[18:16] ---
    You remember all of it?
[18:17] ---
    Yes.
[18:20] ---
    So, how many times have we
    repeated all of this, this time?
[18:24] ---
    This is the 15,499th time.
[18:30] ---
    15,499?
[18:33] ---
    What do you mean by 15,499?
    Nagato, what are you saying?
[18:39] ---
    Are you serious?
[18:42] ---
    I am.
[18:43] ---
    You're saying that we've done
    the exact same things that many times?
[18:48] ---
    They're not all guaranteed to happen.
[18:50] ---
    Out of 15,499 repetitions,
    there are two occasions,
[18:55] ---
    #2,391 and ♪11,054,
    where we did not go to a Bon festival.
[18:59] ---
    A pattern where we did go to a Bon festival,
[19:01] ---
    but did not go to a goldfish
    scooping stand, occurred 437 times.
[19:05] ---
    We've had a part-time job
    9,026 times, and when we did,
[19:07] ---
    there are six different kinds
    of jobs that we did.
[19:10] ---
    In addition to handing out balloons,
[19:11] ---
    we also worked as movers,
    cashiers, we handed out fliers,
[19:14] ---
    I got it, that's enough.
[19:15] ---
    worked as call center...
[19:25] ---
    15,499 times, that's what Nagato said.
[19:31] ---
    Times two weeks, hmm,
    that's around 594 years.
[19:36] ---
    She alone has memories of all that time,
[19:40] ---
    repeating it all over and over...
[19:43] ---
    Nagato, how must it feel
[19:45] ---
    to experience that same
    period of time over and over again?
[19:51] ---
    I've heard yet another crazy story.
[19:55] ---
    The next day we went stargazing.
[19:58] ---
    The location was Nagato's apartment,
[20:00] ---
    and the telescope was one
    that Koizumi had gotten for us.
[20:06] ---
    I'm bored of this. UFOs. Let's look for UFOs.
[20:10] ---
    Hey! Stop it, Haruhi, you'll break it!
[20:20] ---
    Exactly what does she want to do?
[20:24] ---
    Now what could that be?
[20:27] ---
    If we could figure that out,
    this would all be solved...
[20:31] ---
    How about trying this out?
[20:33] ---
    Give Miss Suzumiya a sudden
    embrace from behind,
[20:36] ---
    then whisper "I love you" into her ear.
[20:39] ---
    And who would be doing that?
[20:40] ---
    Is there anyone else who could
    fill the role other than you?
[20:43] ---
    Consider me out.
[20:46] ---
    All right, how about if I do it?
[20:53] ---
    I'm kidding. I'm lacking
    a certain something for the role.
[20:57] ---
    And all that would do is cause
    unnecessary confusion in Miss Suzumiya.
[21:02] ---
    We continued to run through
    a torrent of summer vacation events.
[21:08] ---
    We went to a batting center,
[21:10] ---
    to a real fireworks show,
[21:12] ---
    and we even took part
    in a goby fishing tournament.
[21:15] ---
    We also had a test of courage,
[21:17] ---
    watched some movies,
[21:18] ---
    went to the beach, went bowling,
[21:20] ---
    and even to karaoke.
    We were always doing something.
[21:24] ---
    Of course, I knew that
    this wasn't going to satisfy Haruhi.
[21:29] ---
    Even still, there wasn't
    anything I could do about it,
[21:32] ---
    and the last days of
    our summer vacation ticked away.
[21:36] ---
    And so we ended up at August 30th...
[21:43] ---
    With this, we've finished everything on our list.
[21:52] ---
    Hmm. I wonder if this was good enough.
[21:55] ---
    But, hmm, well... I guess this works.
[21:58] ---
    Hey, is there anything else you want to do?
[22:05] ---
    That's fine, then.
[22:06] ---
    We were able to do a lot this summer,
[22:08] ---
    so that's enough, right?
[22:10] ---
    No, Haruhi... You're still not satisfied.
[22:17] ---
    Okay, we're done for today.
[22:19] ---
    I had tomorrow set aside just in case,
[22:20] ---
    but you can just take the day off.
[22:23] ---
    Let's meet again in the clubroom
    the day after tomorrow.
[22:28] ---
    Wait, Haruhi.
[22:31] ---
    There it is again! That déjà vu!
[22:34] ---
    And it's a strong one,
    stronger than ever before.
[22:37] ---
    I can't let Haruhi leave. If she goes,
[22:41] ---
    we'll end up repeating these past two weeks
[22:43] ---
    for the some-thousandth time again.
[22:46] ---
    But what should I do?
[22:48] ---
    What should I say?
[22:50] ---
    There must have been a hint
    somewhere in what Haruhi said.
[22:53] ---
    But what was it?
[22:56] ---
    What has she said up to this point?
[23:00] ---
    I don't know...
[23:03] ---
    I can't remember...
[23:20] ---
    August 31st. I haven't touched my homework.
[23:26] ---
    Whatever, it doesn't matter anymore.
[23:33] ---
    If we're just going to do it all over again,
[23:35] ---
    then there's no point to doing it.
[23:49] ---
    Whether tomorrow comes or not,
[23:51] ---
    I'll leave it to the me
    at that time to deal with it.
[24:07] ---
    It fell from the sky
[24:10] ---
    With all of the wishes that were made upon it
[24:12] ---
    Maybe it was a little too heavy for a single star
[24:17] ---
    Something just doesn't seem right
[24:20] ---
    The image of you in my mind has vanished
[24:22] ---
    Can I say that I remember you clearly?
[24:27] ---
    Stop!
[24:29] ---
    The past belongs to me
[24:32] ---
    Of course I don't want
    to trade it with anyone else
[24:37] ---
    That's because
[24:38] ---
    It was my birthday,
    and when we saw each other
[24:43] ---
    We could see the first dream
[24:46] ---
    That we had when we were born
[24:48] ---
    Worrying about "what do I do?"
[24:54] ---
    Is laughable when I think about it now
[24:58] ---
    I've already forgotten it
[25:00] ---
    Let's search for you

E15 - Endless Eight IV
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:23] ---
    Something seems off.
    It just somehow felt that way.
[00:29] ---
    I had absolutely no interest in
    the prefectural baseball game on TV,
[00:32] ---
    but I ended up watching it anyways.
[00:34] ---
    Once I did, I kind of got the feeling
    that Haruhi was going to start something.
[00:38] ---
    Incoming call: Haruhi Suzumiya
[00:47] ---
    Kyon, the phone's ringing.
[00:49] ---
    I know, you don't have to tell me.
[00:53] ---
    Kyon, you're not doing anything today, right?
[00:57] ---
    We're all meeting at exactly
    two o'clock in front of the station.
[00:59] ---
    Be sure to show up.
[01:04] ---
    I didn't even say anything...
[01:10] ---
    What?
[01:11] ---
    I forgot to mention this--
    bring a swimsuit and plenty of money.
[01:16] ---
    And be sure--
[01:17] ---
    To bring my bike, right?
[01:20] ---
    That's right. You've got it.
[01:22] ---
    If you're late, you're paying again.
[01:27] ---
    Why did I know about the bike thing just now?
[01:35] ---
    I think that one's going to make it.
[01:39] ---
    See?
[01:40] ---
    I wonder where I put my swimsuit.
[01:44] ---
    Summer's almost over.
[01:56] ---
    Day by day, everything's just so dull
[02:01] ---
    That's why you need to become
    someone that can just reject it all
[02:06] ---
    Oh my boy, you need to be decisive
[02:10] ---
    I won't deal with any lies
    in this small world
[02:16] ---
    I found myself on my own,
    it's natural you'd fall for me
[02:21] ---
    Kick away the boring ways of doing things,
[02:23] ---
    I'm going to decide everything
[02:27] ---
    I say, I say my heaven
[02:30] ---
    Super driver, leave everything to the rush
[02:32] ---
    And just keep going forward, no matter what
[02:34] ---
    Surpass (Don't you stop me)
    The idea of "impossible"
[02:38] ---
    Take it easy, go!
[02:39] ---
    I agree, it's going to be a huge victory
[02:41] ---
    Of course, it'll feel pleasant,
    no matter what happens
[02:44] ---
    A review meeting? (Get back to wild)
    Forget that, now hurry up
[02:49] ---
    We haven't tried this or that,
    we always do things how we want
[02:54] ---
    Everything's a new experience,
    let's try them out
[02:59] ---
    We haven't tried this or that,
    we always do things suddenly
[03:04] ---
    Everything's a new experience,
    what about it?
[03:09] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
[03:17] ---
    Endless Eight IV
[03:18] ---
    You're late, Kyon!
[03:20] ---
    Yeah, yeah.
[03:22] ---
    Sorry I'm late.
[03:23] ---
    I just got here, too.
[03:26] ---
    Jeez. Show some more motivation.
[03:29] ---
    Where are we going?
[03:29] ---
    Okay, we're all here, so let's go.
[03:33] ---
    To the public swimming pool, of course!
[03:36] ---
    Well, I guess that makes sense
[03:36] ---
    We have to do summer vacation-y things
[03:37] ---
    considering what I brought.
[03:37] ---
    during our summer vacation!
[03:40] ---
    We can never get back the time that we've lost!
[03:44] ---
    And so we're going to do them now,
    in our one and only summer as tenth graders.
[03:49] ---
    Hey, Kyon! Are you listening?
[03:50] ---
    Y-Yeah.
[03:52] ---
    By the way, we're going to the pool by bike.
[03:55] ---
    Okay. Where did you park your bikes?
[03:58] ---
    No, the only two bikes
    we have are yours and mine.
[04:02] ---
    In other words... You're saying...
    This is what you meant?!
[04:05] ---
    Kyon, you'd better not lose to Koizumi.
[04:08] ---
    This train is leaving the station!
[04:10] ---
    You demon! You fiend!
[04:13] ---
    Come on, Kyon! We're about to go
    have fun. This is no time to be exhausted.
[04:17] ---
    Whose fault do you think this is?
[04:20] ---
    Yeah, look at all the people.
[04:22] ---
    Oh, the scent of chlorine.
    This really makes it feel like a pool!
[04:26] ---
    Come on, let's find a place
    to put our stuff and get swimming!
[04:31] ---
    Hey, wait--
[04:32] ---
    No diving
[04:32] ---
    It's dangerous!
[04:34] ---
    Can't she read the "no diving"
    signs posted everywhere?
[04:39] ---
    The water's warm so it feels fine!
[04:42] ---
    Mikuru! Yuki! Get in here!
[04:44] ---
    Please go on ahead.
[04:46] ---
    We'll never hear the end of it if we leave her be.
[04:48] ---
    Okay, then...
[04:50] ---
    Please wait up, Miss Suzumiya!
[04:54] ---
    Oh, you're so slow!
[04:55] ---
    Oh, wait, please don't pull--
[05:01] ---
    This just feels kind of peaceful, you know?
[05:04] ---
    I mean Miss Suzumiya.
[05:06] ---
    She has some rather normal ways
    of enjoying her time, don't you think?
[05:11] ---
    Calling out of the blue to invite someone
    out to do something and only giving
[05:14] ---
    a general idea of what's going to
    happen isn't what I'd call "normal."
[05:18] ---
    In my opinion, that's really nothing.
[05:23] ---
    Miss Suzumiya, laughing and
    having a good time like that,
[05:26] ---
    isn't likely to shake up the world, after all.
[05:29] ---
    I hope that's the case...
[05:33] ---
    What's wrong?
[05:34] ---
    It's nothing...
[05:38] ---
    It's probably just my imagination.
[05:40] ---
    Because so much has happened
    since the beginning of spring,
[05:42] ---
    I've become a little paranoid.
[05:45] ---
    That's weird. Him, too?
[06:04] ---
    Hey now, stop and let me catch you already!
[06:05] ---
    Yeesh.
[06:07] ---
    I think it would be better to call this place
    a communal pool than a public pool.
[06:12] ---
    That's where she's been?
[06:15] ---
    What's she doing over there by herself?
[06:19] ---
    What the...?
[06:21] ---
    What is this feeling?
[06:24] ---
    It feels like I've seen this scene...
    Seen Nagato like this once before...
[06:28] ---
    Kyon!
[06:31] ---
    Haruhi...
[06:33] ---
    Right, and then Haruhi says this...
[06:37] ---
    "These two are my brigade members.
    They'll do anything you ask, so ask--"
[06:42] ---
    For anything you want!
[06:43] ---
    We're going to play water soccer.
    Everyone has to join in. Yuki!
[06:48] ---
    Have I gained precognitive
    powers or something?
[06:51] ---
    Here's the ball, Kyon.
[06:53] ---
    Doesn't seem that way.
[06:58] ---
    I guess it happens every now and then.
    Déjà vu isn't all that uncommon.
[07:04] ---
    I thought about what
    we'll be doing from here on.
[07:07] ---
    What is that?
[07:08] ---
    It's a schedule of how we'll spend
    the rest of our short summer vacation.
[07:13] ---
    All this, in under two weeks?
[07:13] ---
    There're just two weeks of vacation left.
[07:15] ---
    Is there anything else you want to do, Mikuru?
[07:17] ---
    Umm... I'd like to try goldfish scooping...
[07:21] ---
    Okay! Goldfish scooping...
[07:25] ---
    Pardon me for a moment.
[07:32] ---
    Thank you.
[07:34] ---
    Okay then, we're starting tomorrow!
[07:36] ---
    Is there a place nearby with a Bon festival?
    A fireworks show works, too.
[07:40] ---
    I'll check around.
    I'll contact you when I find out.
[07:43] ---
    Don't forget about the goldfish scooping!
[07:45] ---
    It's Mikuru's one request, after all.
[07:50] ---
    I'm paying again?
[07:51] ---
    I told you that you were
    going to pay if you were late, didn't I?
[07:54] ---
    All right, then, we're done for today! Bye!
[07:59] ---
    If you'll excuse me.
[08:00] ---
    I have to go, too...
[08:01] ---
    Okay.
[08:12] ---
    Nagato.
[08:16] ---
    Umm... no, it's nothing important, but...
[08:23] ---
    How have you been? Everything fine?
[08:27] ---
    Fine.
[08:29] ---
    I see. That's good to hear.
[08:32] ---
    Right.
[08:38] ---
    Well, that was it. Sorry for stopping you.
[08:48] ---
    What the heck?
[08:51] ---
    Why did I talk to her?
[08:58] ---
    The next morning,
    I got another call from Haruhi.
[09:01] ---
    They found a place
    that was holding a Bon festival.
[09:04] ---
    It seems to be happening
    tonight at a public park.
[09:06] ---
    Sorry to keep you waiting!
[09:08] ---
    About time!
[09:11] ---
    You all look wonderful.
[09:13] ---
    Of course! I chose these yukata, after all.
[09:15] ---
    Especially Mikuru! Just what
    you would expect from my choice!
[09:19] ---
    Miss Asahina, you look great... just great!
[09:19] ---
    Oh, you're making me blush...
[09:28] ---
    Hmm, I wonder where
    the things we care about are.
[09:33] ---
    What the--? It feels
    like I've been here recently.
[09:36] ---
    That tower, those vendors,
    I kind of remember them...
[09:40] ---
    Oh, Mikuru!
[09:41] ---
    Look, they have goldfish scooping,
    just like you wanted!
[09:45] ---
    Let's catch a bunch!
[09:46] ---
    M-Miss Suzumiya, please wait!
[09:50] ---
    Shall we play, too?
[09:52] ---
    Nah, I'll pass.
[09:54] ---
    What about you, Nagato?
    Want to eat something?
[10:04] ---
    You're interested in that stuff?
[10:07] ---
    Which one?
[10:08] ---
    It's all right.
[10:10] ---
    This one.
[10:11] ---
    Right-o, that'll be 800 yen.
[10:13] ---
    I kind of got the feeling that
    Nagato had been helping us out...
[10:16] ---
    ...so I thought it would be appropriate
    for me to at least buy her that, but...
[10:19] ---
    Thirteen!
[10:21] ---
    But I don't need so many,
    so I just kept one for each of us.
[10:27] ---
    You can have one, but only one.
[10:30] ---
    Thanks.
[10:32] ---
    Huh? What's with the mask, Yuki?
[10:36] ---
    I bought it.
[10:38] ---
    I see.
[10:40] ---
    Now then, next up is fireworks!
[10:42] ---
    Let's launch some fireworks to end the day!
[10:46] ---
    It was summer, and summer vacation.
[10:50] ---
    That's why I wanted to forget about it,
[10:52] ---
    but there was one thing lingering in my mind.
[10:55] ---
    Tomorrow we'll be catching bugs.
[10:58] ---
    Haruhi.
[11:00] ---
    It's fine to want to play around, but are
    you finished with your summer homework?
[11:04] ---
    Homework?
[11:06] ---
    You can finish homework
    like that in just three days.
[11:08] ---
    Wha--
[11:10] ---
    You get that stuff out of the way so you can
    have fun without having to worry about it.
[11:14] ---
    That's how you enjoy your summer vacation.
[11:18] ---
    Why is heaven so unfair?
[11:20] ---
    Everyone, tomorrow we'll be catching bugs!
[11:22] ---
    And we're only going to catch cicadas!
[11:24] ---
    This will be the SOS Brigade's
    Cicada Capturing Competition!
[11:27] ---
    The next day was yet again a beautiful day.
[11:31] ---
    Yay! Wait up!
[11:31] ---
    It was on this day that we had
[11:34] ---
    the SOS Brigade Cicada Capturing Competition.
[11:35] ---
    I said, wait! I'm gonna get you!
[11:36] ---
    It looks like each of us did try, in their own way,
[11:39] ---
    but of course, or something to that effect,
    the winner ended up being Haruhi.
[11:45] ---
    A catch and release
    attitude is important, right?
[11:49] ---
    If we let them go, then they
    might come back to repay us.
[11:53] ---
    What are you expecting from
    a short-lived insect like a cicada?
[12:00] ---
    For some reason, I kind of
    feel like Pandora opening her box.
[12:08] ---
    The next day, we met up, and even though
    we had no idea what was going on,
[12:12] ---
    we ended up wearing frog costumes
    and passing out balloons
[12:16] ---
    in front of a supermarket
    as our part-time job.
[12:21] ---
    Now I know how the Gundam Virtue
    feels after it's released its armor.
[12:24] ---
    Good work, everyone.
[12:26] ---
    What's with this difference
    in how we're being treated?
[12:28] ---
    Thanks for the hard work.
    The manager is thankful.
[12:32] ---
    I don't care about his thanks.
    Where's our pay?
[12:35] ---
    This is it.
[12:37] ---
    I've wanted this for a while.
[12:40] ---
    The owner said that he'd
    give it to us for Mikuru's sake.
[12:44] ---
    We worked, sweat pouring
    down our foreheads, for that?
[12:48] ---
    Let's hang this up
    in the clubroom as a memento.
[12:51] ---
    Mikuru, you can wear it whenever
    you want. You have my permission!
[12:57] ---
    Umm... well... thank you very much.
[13:03] ---
    That night, a single phone call
    stole me away from my slumber.
[13:10] ---
    Shut up...
[13:20] ---
    Shut up... Dammit...
[13:23] ---
    Yes?
[13:26] ---
    Kyon...
[13:29] ---
    Miss Asahina?
[13:30] ---
    Yes, it's me...
[13:34] ---
    Something... very not good has...
[13:38] ---
    At this rate, I...
[13:41] ---
    Umm...
[13:42] ---
    Hello, this is Koizumi.
[13:46] ---
    Why are you with Miss Asahina?
[13:48] ---
    Certain circumstances came up.
[13:51] ---
    Would it be possible for you
    to come join us right now?
[13:53] ---
    I'll be right there! I'll be right there!
[13:56] ---
    Miss Asahina!
[13:58] ---
    What in the world happened?
[14:01] ---
    K-Kyon...
[14:04] ---
    I... can't go back to the future...
[14:07] ---
    The... the... the future?
[14:14] ---
    In other words, this is what's going on.
[14:17] ---
    We are going through an eternal loop
    of the same time period.
[14:25] ---
    Even if you can say something as
    impossible as that with a smile on your face...
[14:28] ---
    Koizumi, do you realize what you're saying?
[14:32] ---
    I do. Much more than I wish I did.
[14:35] ---
    I had just been speaking with Miss Asahina.
[14:38] ---
    Call me too, when you have talks with her.
[14:41] ---
    And as a result,
    what we realized was that recently,
[14:44] ---
    the flow of time was a bit strange.
[14:47] ---
    You might want to credit this to Miss Asahina.
[14:51] ---
    Thanks to her, I was able to confirm it.
[14:54] ---
    Confirm what?
[14:56] ---
    That we have experienced the same
    span of time numerous times.
[15:00] ---
    You said that earlier.
[15:02] ---
    To be precise, we've been repeating
    the time from August 17th to the 31st.
[15:08] ---
    We're in the middle of
    an endless summer vacation.
[15:11] ---
    Well, it is summer vacation, but...
[15:14] ---
    It's a never-ending endless summer.
[15:18] ---
    This world has lost all time
    after September 1st.
[15:23] ---
    That is why Miss Asahina
    cannot go back to the future.
[15:26] ---
    I suppose you could say that it's natural.
[15:30] ---
    What's natural about there being no future?
[15:32] ---
    Who'd believe it?
[15:37] ---
    We'd like for you to believe it,
    at the very least.
[15:41] ---
    Are we trapped inside
    one of those closed spaces?
[15:46] ---
    No, that's not it.
[15:48] ---
    A single portion of time has been torn away.
[15:51] ---
    At exactly the point when
    it becomes midnight on August 31st,
[15:55] ---
    everything resets, and we go back
    to August 17th. That's the process.
[16:00] ---
    So you mean that time does
    that thing that you mentioned.
[16:03] ---
    Well, we do have someone from
    the future here, I guess it can't be helped.
[16:07] ---
    Oh no, Miss Asahina isn't involved in this.
[16:11] ---
    Okay then, what's the culprit?
[16:13] ---
    I would guess Miss Suzumiya.
[16:17] ---
    I'm sure she doesn't realize it,
    but somewhere inside of her...
[16:21] ---
    is a desire to not let summer vacation end.
[16:24] ---
    What the heck? Do you mean
    she feels regret over something?
[16:27] ---
    That's what I believe.
[16:29] ---
    Perhaps she feels that there's something left...
[16:32] ---
    ...that she wants to do
    during our summer vacation?
[16:37] ---
    So, what are you saying I should do?
[16:39] ---
    If we knew that, we would
    have this problem solved.
[16:43] ---
    You seem awfully cheerful about this.
[16:45] ---
    It's because we've finally been able to solve
[16:49] ---
    the mystery of the frequent feelings
    of déjà vu that I've had lately.
[16:52] ---
    Is it possible that other people
    across the world feel this, too?
[16:56] ---
    It doesn't seem that way.
    You and I are a special case.
[17:01] ---
    It appears that the people
    who are closest to Miss Suzumiya
[17:04] ---
    are able to sense this strangeness.
[17:07] ---
    What about Haruhi?
    Does she sense any of this at all?
[17:11] ---
    Not at all, it seems. It would
    probably be bad for us if she did.
[17:17] ---
    However, I believe that there is
    one person who remembers everything,
[17:23] ---
    more than the déjà vu that we do.
[17:28] ---
    That's an awfully unhappy thought.
    And who would that be?
[17:33] ---
    I think you know, even without my saying.
[17:36] ---
    I believe that the Thought Entity,
    which transcends time and space, would.
[17:43] ---
    Is that right, Nagato?
[17:46] ---
    It is.
[17:47] ---
    You remember all of it?
[17:49] ---
    Right.
[17:50] ---
    So, how many times have we
    repeated all of this, this time?
[17:57] ---
    This is the 15,513th time.
[18:05] ---
    15,513?
[18:08] ---
    What do you mean by 15,513?
    Nagato, what are you saying?
[18:17] ---
    Are you serious?
[18:19] ---
    I am.
[18:21] ---
    You're saying that we've done
    the exact same things that many times?
[18:26] ---
    They're not all guaranteed to happen.
[18:29] ---
    Which means?
[18:31] ---
    Out of 15,513 repetitions,
    there are two occasions,
[18:36] ---
    #2,391 and ♪11,054,
    where we did not go to a Bon festival.
[18:41] ---
    A pattern where we did go to a Bon festival,
[18:44] ---
    but did not go to a goldfish
    scooping stand, occurred 437 times.
[18:47] ---
    We've had a part-time job
    9,031 times, and in those instances,
[18:51] ---
    we have done six different kinds of jobs.
[18:53] ---
    In addition to handing out balloons,
    we also worked as movers, cashiers,
[18:57] ---
    handed out flyers, worked as call center--
[18:58] ---
    I got it, that's enough.
[19:09] ---
    15,513 times. That's what Nagato said.
[19:15] ---
    Times two weeks, hmm,
    that's around 594 years.
[19:20] ---
    She alone has memories of all that time,
[19:25] ---
    repeating it all over and over...
[19:31] ---
    Nagato, how must it feel to experience
    that same period of time over and over again?
[19:42] ---
    I wonder if they exist.
[19:44] ---
    Martians.
[19:45] ---
    I kind of don't want them to.
[19:48] ---
    They're probably a reserved people,
    living underground.
[19:52] ---
    They're probably friendly.
[19:54] ---
    There's no guarantee of that.
[19:56] ---
    I'm bored of this. UFOs. Let's look for UFOs.
[20:03] ---
    Exactly what does she want to do?
[20:07] ---
    Now what could that be?
[20:09] ---
    If we could figure that out,
    this would all be solved...
[20:13] ---
    Oh, how about trying this out?
[20:17] ---
    Give Miss Suzumiya
    a sudden embrace from behind,
[20:19] ---
    then whisper "I love you" into her ear.
[20:22] ---
    And who would be doing that?
[20:25] ---
    Is there anyone else who could
    fill the role other than you?
[20:28] ---
    I'm exercising my right to veto.
    In other words, I'm not going to.
[20:31] ---
    I guess it can't be helped.
    All right, how about if I do it?
[20:36] ---
    I'm kidding. I'm lacking
    a certain something for the role.
[20:41] ---
    And all that would do is cause
    unnecessary confusion in Miss Suzumiya.
[20:50] ---
    Hey, Nagato,
[20:51] ---
    you were aware of this loop before
    Miss Asahina said anything, right?
[20:56] ---
    Yes.
[20:57] ---
    If that's the case,
    why didn't you say anything?
[21:01] ---
    It's my job to observe.
[21:04] ---
    I see...
[21:06] ---
    All right!
[21:08] ---
    Look, I got a home run! Yay! I did it!
[21:11] ---
    We were always doing something.
[21:15] ---
    We went to a real fireworks show,
[21:17] ---
    and we even took part
    in a goby fishing tournament.
[21:20] ---
    We also did a test of courage,
    went to the beach,
[21:23] ---
    went bowling, sang karaoke,
    and watched some movies.
[21:26] ---
    Of course, I knew that this
    wasn't going to satisfy Haruhi.
[21:31] ---
    Even still, there wasn't anything
    I could do about it
[21:34] ---
    and the last days of our
    summer vacation ticked away.
[21:40] ---
    And so we ended up at August 30th...
[21:45] ---
    With this, we've finished everything on our list.
[21:51] ---
    I wonder if this was good enough.
[21:55] ---
    But, hmm, well... I guess this works.
[21:58] ---
    Hey, is there anything else you want to do?
[22:05] ---
    That's fine, then.
[22:07] ---
    We were able to do a lot
    this summer, so that's enough, right?
[22:12] ---
    No, it's not. You're still not satisfied.
[22:18] ---
    Okay, we're done for today.
[22:21] ---
    I had tomorrow set aside just in case,
    but you can just take the day off.
[22:25] ---
    Let's meet again in the clubroom
    the day after tomorrow.
[22:29] ---
    Wait...
[22:31] ---
    Wait, Haruhi.
[22:34] ---
    No, I can't let you go!
[22:38] ---
    If she goes, we'll end up
    repeating these past two weeks
[22:43] ---
    for the some-thousandth time again.
[22:52] ---
    But what should I do? What should I say?
[22:57] ---
    There must have been a hint
    somewhere in what Haruhi said.
[23:01] ---
    But what was it?
[23:03] ---
    What has she said up to this point?
[23:06] ---
    It's no use. I don't know...
[23:09] ---
    Wait... wait...
[23:13] ---
    Haruhi!
[23:16] ---
    Thank you very much!
[23:27] ---
    August 31st. I haven't touched my homework.
[23:32] ---
    Whatever, it doesn't matter anymore.
[23:36] ---
    If we're just going to do it all over again,
    then there's no point to doing it.
[23:42] ---
    Whether tomorrow comes or not, I'll leave
    it to the me at that time to deal with it.
[24:04] ---
    It fell from the sky
[24:07] ---
    With all of the wishes that were made upon it
[24:09] ---
    Maybe it was a little too heavy for a single star
[24:15] ---
    Something just doesn't seem right
[24:17] ---
    The image of you in my mind has vanished
[24:20] ---
    Can I say that I remember you clearly?
[24:24] ---
    Stop!
[24:26] ---
    The past belongs to me
[24:30] ---
    Of course I don't want
    to trade it with anyone else
[24:34] ---
    That's because
[24:36] ---
    It was my birthday,
    and when we saw each other
[24:41] ---
    We could see the first dream
[24:43] ---
    That we had when we were born
[24:46] ---
    Worrying about "what do I do?"
[24:51] ---
    Is laughable when I think about it now
[24:55] ---
    I've already forgotten it
[24:58] ---
    Let's search for you

E16 - Endless Eight V
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:25] ---
    Something seems off.
    It just somehow felt that way.
[00:30] ---
    I had absolutely no interest in
    the prefectural baseball game on TV,
[00:35] ---
    but I kind of ended up
    rooting for the losing side.
[00:39] ---
    Once I did, I kind of got the feeling
    that Haruhi was going to start something.
[00:47] ---
    Kyon, the phone's ringing.
[00:48] ---
    I know, you don't have to tell me.
[00:52] ---
    You're not doing anything today, right?
    We're meeting at 2PM in front of the station.
[00:56] ---
    Be sure to show up.
[01:01] ---
    I didn't even say anything...
[01:05] ---
    What?
[01:06] ---
    I forgot to mention this--
    bring a swimsuit and plenty of money.
[01:11] ---
    And be sure to bring your bike.
    That's all, over and out!
[01:17] ---
    And again, I had the feeling that
    I knew what Haruhi was going to say.
[01:22] ---
    No, not quite.
[01:23] ---
    To be precise, it felt like this exact
    same conversation had happened before.
[01:27] ---
    I guess it's what you would call déjà vu.
[01:33] ---
    Summer's almost over.
[01:47] ---
    Day by day, everything's just so dull
[01:52] ---
    That's why you need to become
    someone that can just reject it all
[01:57] ---
    Oh my boy, you need to be decisive
[02:01] ---
    I won't deal with any lies
    in this small world
[02:07] ---
    I found myself on my own,
    it's natural you'd fall for me
[02:11] ---
    Kick away the boring ways of doing things,
[02:14] ---
    I'm going to decide everything
[02:18] ---
    I say, I say my heaven
[02:21] ---
    Super driver, leave everything to the rush
[02:23] ---
    And just keep going forward, no matter what
[02:25] ---
    Surpass (Don't you stop me)
    The idea of "impossible"
[02:29] ---
    Take it easy, go!
[02:30] ---
    I agree, it's going to be a huge victory
[02:32] ---
    Of course, it'll feel pleasant,
    no matter what happens
[02:35] ---
    A review meeting? (Get back to wild)
    Forget that, now hurry up
[02:40] ---
    We haven't tried this or that,
    we always do things how we want
[02:45] ---
    Everything's a new experience,
    let's try them out
[02:50] ---
    We haven't tried this or that,
    we always do things suddenly
[02:55] ---
    Everything's a new experience,
    what about it?
[03:00] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
[03:08] ---
    Endless Eight V
[03:09] ---
    You're late, Kyon!
[03:10] ---
    Show some more motivation!
[03:12] ---
    Yeah, yeah.
[03:14] ---
    Sorry I made you wait.
[03:16] ---
    I just got here, too.
[03:18] ---
    Okay, we're all here, so let's go.
[03:22] ---
    Where are we going?
[03:23] ---
    To the public swimming pool, of course!
[03:25] ---
    Well, I guess that makes sense
    considering what I brought.
[03:28] ---
    We have to do summer vacation-y
    things during our summer vacation!
[03:32] ---
    We can never get back
    the time that we've lost!
[03:36] ---
    And so we're going to do them now,
    in our one and only summer as tenth graders.
[03:41] ---
    By the way, we're going to the pool by bike.
[03:44] ---
    Did you ride your bikes, too?
[03:46] ---
    No, the only two bikes
    we have are yours and mine.
[03:53] ---
    Kyon, you'd better not lose to Koizumi.
[03:56] ---
    This train is leaving the station!
[03:59] ---
    No psychic powers allowed!
[04:01] ---
    Hurry up and park your bikes, you two.
[04:05] ---
    Kyon, we're about to go have fun.
    This is no time to be exhausted.
[04:08] ---
    Whose fault do you think this is?
[04:10] ---
    Oh, the scent of chlorine.
    This really makes it feel like a pool!
[04:19] ---
    Hurry up and get in!
    The water's warm so it feels fine!
[04:22] ---
    Can't she read the "no diving"
    signs posted everywhere?
[04:25] ---
    That looks like fun.
[04:27] ---
    She has some rather normal ways
    of enjoying her time, don't you think?
[04:34] ---
    Miss Suzumiya, laughing and
    having a good time like that,
[04:37] ---
    isn't likely to shake up the world, after all.
[04:40] ---
    I hope that's the case...
[04:44] ---
    What's wrong?
[04:45] ---
    Oh, it's nothing...
[04:50] ---
    It's probably just my imagination.
[04:52] ---
    Let's get ready to go in, too.
[05:15] ---
    It's so bitter. One more cup, please.
[05:25] ---
    It feels like I've seen this scene once before.
[05:28] ---
    Where Nagato kind of looks like she's bored...
[05:31] ---
    Kyon!
[05:34] ---
    Right, and then Haruhi says this...
[05:38] ---
    These two are my brigade members.
[05:41] ---
    They'll do anything you ask,
    so ask for anything you want!
[05:44] ---
    Okay, let's have some fun!
    We're going to play water dodge ball.
[05:49] ---
    Yeah, yeah.
[05:51] ---
    Well, déjà vu isn't all that uncommon.
[05:57] ---
    I thought about what we'll be doing
    from here on. What do you think?
[06:01] ---
    What is that?
[06:02] ---
    It's a schedule of how we'll spend
[06:02] ---
    Things we have to do during our summer vacation
[06:04] ---
    the rest of our short summer vacation.
[06:06] ---
    I realized that we only have
    two weeks of summer vacation left.
[06:12] ---
    That fact blew me away.
[06:14] ---
    We still have so much left to do,
    but we've only got this much time left!
[06:20] ---
    We're going to pick up the pace!
[06:22] ---
    All this in just two weeks?
[06:25] ---
    Is there anything else you want to do, Mikuru?
[06:28] ---
    Umm... I'd like to try goldfish scooping.
[06:31] ---
    Okay! Goldfish scooping...
[06:35] ---
    Pardon me for a moment.
[06:42] ---
    Thank you.
[06:43] ---
    We're starting tomorrow!
[06:44] ---
    Is there a place nearby with a Bon festival?
    A fireworks show works, too.
[06:49] ---
    I'll check around.
    I'll contact you when I find out.
[06:52] ---
    Don't forget about the goldfish scooping!
[06:54] ---
    It's Mikuru's one request, after all.
[06:57] ---
    Roger that.
[06:59] ---
    All right, then, we're done for today!
[07:02] ---
    If you'll excuse me.
[07:03] ---
    I have to go, too...
[07:16] ---
    Nagato.
[07:18] ---
    No, it's nothing important.
[07:21] ---
    How have you been? Everything fine?
[07:25] ---
    Fine.
[07:26] ---
    I see. That's good to hear.
[07:34] ---
    What the heck? Why did I talk to her?
[07:42] ---
    Your attention please, we have a lost child.
    Five-year-old Takashi Satou is...
[07:47] ---
    A Bon festival, huh?
[07:49] ---
    I guess it makes sense
    for there to be this many people.
[07:55] ---
    That tower, those vendors...
[07:59] ---
    It's been a while since I've come to one,
    but it feels like I have recently.
[08:02] ---
    Mikuru!
[08:03] ---
    They have goldfish scooping,
    just like you wanted!
[08:06] ---
    Be sure to catch a bunch!
[08:07] ---
    Okay!
[08:09] ---
    Shall we play, too?
    How about seeing who can catch more?
[08:13] ---
    I'll pass.
[08:14] ---
    What about you, Nagato?
    Want to eat something?
[08:21] ---
    You're interested in that stuff?
[08:23] ---
    Which one?
[08:24] ---
    It's all right.
[08:25] ---
    This one.
[08:26] ---
    Right-o, that'll be 800 yen.
[08:29] ---
    I kind of got the feeling that
    Nagato had been helping us out,
[08:32] ---
    so I thought it would be appropriate
    for me to at least buy her that, but...
[08:35] ---
    Hamster Fishing
[08:35] ---
    Thirteen! Wow, what a haul!
[08:39] ---
    But I don't need so many, so I just kept one.
[08:42] ---
    And one for Mikuru, too.
[08:46] ---
    You can have one, but only one.
[08:49] ---
    Thanks.
[08:51] ---
    Huh? What's with the mask, Yuki?
[08:54] ---
    I bought it.
[08:56] ---
    I see.
[09:11] ---
    No Obtrusive Fireworks Allowed
[09:11] ---
    It was summer, and summer vacation.
[09:14] ---
    That's why I wanted to forget about it,
[09:17] ---
    but there was one thing lingering in my mind.
[09:20] ---
    Haruhi.
[09:21] ---
    It's fine to want to play around, but are
    you finished with your summer homework?
[09:24] ---
    What? You can finish homework
    like that in just three days.
[09:29] ---
    Three days?!
[09:30] ---
    You get that stuff out of the way so you can
    have fun without having to worry about it.
[09:37] ---
    Why is she so smart?
[09:39] ---
    It seems like the guys
    up in heaven that were divvying up
[09:41] ---
    the stats for us were being pretty lax about it.
[09:44] ---
    Everyone, tomorrow we'll be catching bugs!
[09:46] ---
    Whoever catches the most bugs...
[09:50] ---
    Okay, they'll get to be
    the brigade leader for a day!
[09:54] ---
    No thanks!
[09:54] ---
    That sounds interesting.
[09:56] ---
    Are any bugs okay?
[09:58] ---
    Hmm... only cicadas!
[10:01] ---
    That's it, this will be the SOS Brigade's
    Cicada Capturing Competition!
[10:07] ---
    The next day was yet again a beautiful day.
[10:11] ---
    It was on this day that we had the
    SOS Brigade Cicada Capturing Competition.
[10:15] ---
    That's sour!
[10:16] ---
    That's not a cicada.
[10:18] ---
    A yanbaru long-armed scarab?!
[10:20] ---
    It looks like each of us did try,
    in their own way,
[10:23] ---
    but of course, or something to that effect,
    the winner ended up being Haruhi.
[10:28] ---
    A catch and release attitude
    is important, right?
[10:32] ---
    If we let them go, then they
    might come back to repay us.
[10:36] ---
    What could a cicada do,
    even if it did come back?
[10:42] ---
    There you go! Go back to the mountains!
[10:49] ---
    For some reason, I kind of
    feel like Pandora opening her box.
[10:54] ---
    W-Welcome!
[10:56] ---
    The next day, we met up, even though
    we had no idea what was going on.
[11:01] ---
    And we remained in the dark even as
    we were made to wear frog costumes...
[11:04] ---
    and then pass out balloons in front of
    a supermarket as our part-time job.
[11:13] ---
    I really understand how Unit-0 felt
    when it got hit by that beam.
[11:16] ---
    Good work, everyone.
[11:18] ---
    What's with this difference
    in how we're being treated?
[11:20] ---
    Thanks for the hard work.
    The manager is thankful.
[11:23] ---
    I don't care about his thanks.
    Where's our pay?
[11:27] ---
    This is it.
[11:30] ---
    I've wanted this for a while.
[11:33] ---
    We worked, sweat pouring
    down our foreheads, for that?
[11:38] ---
    Let's hang this up
    in the clubroom as a memento.
[11:40] ---
    Mikuru, you can wear it whenever
    you want. You have my permission!
[11:45] ---
    Okay...
[11:48] ---
    What?
[11:49] ---
    Oh, nothing.
[11:50] ---
    Don't look at me.
[11:51] ---
    Come on, Mikuru!
[11:53] ---
    M-Maybe later!
[11:56] ---
    Your popsicle is going to fall down.
[12:01] ---
    That night, a single phone call
    stole me away from my slumber.
[12:06] ---
    The number you have called is...
[12:11] ---
    What in the world?!
[12:14] ---
    Kyon...
[12:15] ---
    Miss Asahina?
[12:17] ---
    Yes, it's me...
[12:20] ---
    Something... very not good has...
    At this rate, I...
[12:26] ---
    Umm...
[12:27] ---
    Hello, this is Koizumi.
[12:29] ---
    Why are you with Miss Asahina at this hour?
[12:33] ---
    Certain circumstances came up.
[12:35] ---
    Would it be possible
    for you to come join us right now?
[12:45] ---
    What in the world happened, Miss Asahina?
[12:49] ---
    Kyon... I... can't go back to the fu--
[12:57] ---
    In other words, this is what's going on.
[13:00] ---
    We are going through an
    eternal loop of the same time period.
[13:04] ---
    Even if you say something as impossible
    as that with a smile on your face...
[13:08] ---
    Koizumi, do you realize what you're saying?
[13:12] ---
    I do. Much more than I wish I did.
[13:16] ---
    I had just been speaking with Miss Asahina.
[13:18] ---
    Call me too, when you have talks with her.
[13:21] ---
    And as a result,
    what we realized was that recently,
[13:24] ---
    the flow of time was a bit strange.
[13:26] ---
    You might want to
    credit this to Miss Asahina.
[13:29] ---
    Thanks to her, I was able to confirm it.
[13:32] ---
    Confirm what?
[13:36] ---
    That we have experienced
    the same span of time numerous times.
[13:40] ---
    You said that earlier.
[13:42] ---
    To be precise, we've been repeating
    the time from August 17th to the 31st.
[13:48] ---
    We're in the middle of
    an endless summer vacation.
[13:52] ---
    Well, it is summer vacation, but...
[13:55] ---
    It's a never-ending endless summer.
[13:58] ---
    This world has lost all time
    after September 1st.
[14:04] ---
    Who'd believe that?
[14:06] ---
    We'd like for you to believe it.
[14:10] ---
    Umm... I'll explain, too.
[14:15] ---
    Well... because of "classified information,"
[14:17] ---
    I'm always contacting the future
    and "classified information" -ing,
[14:23] ---
    but I hadn't received any "classified
    information" for about a week or so,
[14:29] ---
    which I thought was strange.
[14:31] ---
    And so I "classified information"...
[14:34] ---
    I was so surprised I tried to
    "classified information,"
[14:40] ---
    but it was completely "classified information."
[14:43] ---
    Oh, what do I do?
[14:47] ---
    Are we trapped inside
    one of those closed spaces?
[14:52] ---
    That's not it.
[14:53] ---
    A single portion of time has been torn away.
[14:57] ---
    At exactly the point when
    it becomes midnight on August 31st,
[15:01] ---
    everything resets, and we go back
    to August 17th. That's the process.
[15:06] ---
    So what about our...
    no, humanity's memories?
[15:10] ---
    Those are reset as well.
    Everything starts over from the beginning.
[15:16] ---
    So you mean that time
    does that thing that you mentioned.
[15:19] ---
    Well, we do have someone from
    the future here, I guess it can't be helped.
[15:23] ---
    Oh no, Miss Asahina isn't involved in this.
[15:26] ---
    Okay then, what's the culprit?
[15:29] ---
    I would guess Miss Suzumiya.
[15:31] ---
    I'm sure she doesn't realize it,
    but somewhere inside of her...
[15:35] ---
    ...is a desire to not let summer vacation end.
[15:37] ---
    What the heck? Do you mean
    she feels regret over something?
[15:41] ---
    That's what I believe.
[15:44] ---
    Perhaps she feels that there's something left
[15:47] ---
    that she wants to do
    during our summer vacation?
[15:51] ---
    I've been wondering this since I got here,
    but you seem awfully cheerful about this.
[15:55] ---
    It's because we've finally
    been able to solve the mystery
[15:58] ---
    of the frequent feelings
    of déjà vu that I've had recently.
[16:01] ---
    Now that I think about it,
    those inexplicable feelings may have been
[16:05] ---
    remnants from when
    our memories have been reset.
[16:09] ---
    Is it possible that other people
    across the world feel this, too?
[16:13] ---
    It doesn't seem that way.
    You and I are a special case.
[16:18] ---
    It appears that the people
    who are closest to Miss Suzumiya
[16:21] ---
    are able to sense this strangeness.
[16:23] ---
    What about Haruhi?
    Does she sense any of this at all?
[16:27] ---
    Not at all, it seems. It would
    probably be bad for us if she did.
[16:33] ---
    However, I believe that there is
    one person who remembers everything,
[16:38] ---
    more than the déjà vu that we do.
[16:45] ---
    Is that right?
[16:47] ---
    It is.
[16:48] ---
    You remember all of it?
[16:50] ---
    Right.
[16:52] ---
    So, how many times have we
    repeated all of this, this time?
[16:57] ---
    This is the 15,521st time.
[17:02] ---
    15,521?
[17:07] ---
    What do you mean by 15,521?
[17:13] ---
    Are you serious?
[17:15] ---
    I am.
[17:17] ---
    You're saying that we've done
    the exact same things that many times?
[17:22] ---
    They're not all guaranteed to happen.
[17:24] ---
    Out of 15,521 repetitions,
    there are two occasions,
[17:29] ---
    #2,391 and ♪11,054,
    where we did not go to a Bon festival.
[17:34] ---
    A pattern where we did go to a Bon festival,
[17:37] ---
    but did not go to a goldfish
    scooping stand, occurred 437 times.
[17:41] ---
    We had a part-time job
    9,048 times, and when we did,
[17:45] ---
    there are six different
    kinds of jobs that we did.
[17:47] ---
    In addition to handing out balloons,
    we also worked as movers, cashiers,
[17:50] ---
    handed out flyers, worked as call center--
[17:51] ---
    I got it, that's enough.
[17:58] ---
    15,521 times, that's what Nagato said.
[18:04] ---
    Times two weeks, hmm,
    that's around 595 years.
[18:13] ---
    She alone has memories of all that time,
    repeating it all over and over...
[18:21] ---
    Nagato, how must it feel to experience
    that same period of time over and over again?
[18:30] ---
    I've heard yet another crazy story.
[18:35] ---
    I wonder if they exist.
[18:36] ---
    If what exist?
[18:38] ---
    Martians.
[18:39] ---
    I kind of don't want them to.
[18:40] ---
    It doesn't look like anyone's on the surface,
[18:43] ---
    so they're probably
    a reserved people, living underground.
[18:47] ---
    When man finally sets foot on Mars,
[18:49] ---
    I'm sure that they'll come out
    from under their cover and welcome us,
[18:53] ---
    saying, "Welcome to Mars!"
[18:55] ---
    How about if they just appear normally?
[18:57] ---
    Oh, I'm bored of this.
    UFOs. Let's look for UFOs.
[19:02] ---
    The next day, we went stargazing.
[19:05] ---
    The location was Nagato's apartment,
[19:07] ---
    and the telescope was one
    that Koizumi had gotten for us.
[19:12] ---
    Exactly what does she want to do?
[19:14] ---
    Now what could that be?
[19:16] ---
    If we could figure that out,
    this would all be solved...
[19:20] ---
    How about trying this out?
[19:22] ---
    Give Miss Suzumiya
    a sudden embrace from behind
[19:24] ---
    then whisper "I love you" into her ear.
[19:28] ---
    And who would be doing that?
[19:30] ---
    Is there anyone else who could
    fill the role other than you?
[19:34] ---
    No, I refuse.
[19:36] ---
    All right, how about if I do it?
[19:41] ---
    I'm kidding. I'm lacking
    a certain something for the role.
[19:45] ---
    And all that would do is cause
    unnecessary confusion in Miss Suzumiya.
[19:57] ---
    Hey, Nagato,
[19:59] ---
    you were aware of this loop
    before Miss Asahina said anything, right?
[20:03] ---
    Yes.
[20:05] ---
    If that's the case,
    why didn't you say anything?
[20:07] ---
    SOS Brigade Test of Courage Challenge
[20:07] ---
    Leave the doll here as proof!
[20:08] ---
    It's my job to observe.
[20:14] ---
    I see...
[20:16] ---
    We continued to run through
    a torrent of summer vacation events.
[20:20] ---
    We went to a real fireworks show,
[20:22] ---
    and we even took part
    in a goby fishing tournament.
[20:26] ---
    We also went to a batting center,
    watched some movies,
[20:29] ---
    went to the beach, went bowling,
    and even sang karaoke.
[20:32] ---
    We were always doing something.
[20:35] ---
    Of course, I knew that this
    wasn't going to satisfy Haruhi.
[20:39] ---
    Even so, there wasn't
    anything I could do about it,
[20:43] ---
    and the last days of our
    summer vacation ticked away.
[20:49] ---
    And so we ended up at August 30th...
[21:01] ---
    With this, we've finished everything on our list.
[21:05] ---
    Hey, no scribbling.
[21:10] ---
    I wonder if this was good enough.
[21:14] ---
    But, hmm... I guess this works.
[21:17] ---
    Hey, is there anything else you want to do?
[21:27] ---
    That's fine, then.
[21:28] ---
    We were able to do a lot this summer,
    so that's enough, right?
[21:33] ---
    No, it's not. You're still not satisfied.
[21:38] ---
    Okay, we're done for today.
[21:40] ---
    I had tomorrow set aside just in case,
    but you can just take the day off.
[21:45] ---
    Let's meet again in the clubroom
    the day after tomorrow.
[21:56] ---
    Wait... Haruhi...
[22:00] ---
    Okay, we're done for today.
[22:02] ---
    I had tomorrow set aside just in case,
    but you can just take the day off.
[22:06] ---
    Let's meet again in the clubroom
    the day after tomorrow.
[22:12] ---
    I can't let Haruhi leave.
[22:16] ---
    If she goes, we'll end up
    repeating these past two weeks
[22:20] ---
    for the some-thousandth time.
[22:22] ---
    Okay, we're done for today.
[22:25] ---
    I had tomorrow set aside just in case,
    but you can just take the day off.
[22:29] ---
    Let's meet again in the clubroom
    the day after tomorrow.
[22:31] ---
    What should I do?
    What should I say?
[22:37] ---
    There must have been a hint
    somewhere in what Haruhi said.
[22:41] ---
    But what was it?
[22:43] ---
    What has she said up to this point?
[22:46] ---
    I don't know... I can't remember...
[22:49] ---
    Okay, we're done for today.
[22:52] ---
    I had tomorrow set aside just in case,
    but you can just take the day off.
[22:56] ---
    Let's meet again in the clubroom
    the day after tomorrow.
[23:04] ---
    Whatever, it doesn't matter anymore.
[23:08] ---
    August 31st. I haven't touched my homework.
[23:12] ---
    Oh, forget it.
[23:14] ---
    If we're just going to do it all over again,
    then there's no point to doing it.
[23:22] ---
    Whether tomorrow comes or not, I'll leave it
    to the me at that time to deal with it.
[24:04] ---
    It fell from the sky
[24:07] ---
    With all of the wishes that were made upon it
[24:09] ---
    Maybe it was a little too heavy for a single star
[24:15] ---
    Something just doesn't seem right
[24:17] ---
    The image of you in my mind has vanished
[24:20] ---
    Can I say that I remember you clearly?
[24:24] ---
    Stop!
[24:26] ---
    The past belongs to me
[24:30] ---
    Of course I don't want
    to trade it with anyone else
[24:34] ---
    That's because
[24:36] ---
    It was my birthday,
    and when we saw each other
[24:41] ---
    We could see the first dream
[24:43] ---
    That we had when we were born
[24:46] ---
    Worrying about "what do I do?"
[24:51] ---
    Is laughable when I think about it now
[24:55] ---
    I've already forgotten it
[24:58] ---
    Let's search for you

E17 - Endless Eight VI
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:39] ---
    Something seems off.
[00:41] ---
    It just somehow felt that way.
[00:45] ---
    I had absolutely no interest in
    the prefectural baseball game on TV,
[00:51] ---
    but I kind of ended up
    rooting for the losing side.
[00:54] ---
    Once I did, I kind of got the feeling
    that Haruhi was going to start something.
[01:02] ---
    What does she want?
[01:04] ---
    Kyon, the phone's ringing.
[01:06] ---
    I know, you don't have to tell me.
[01:13] ---
    You're not doing anything today, right?
    We're meeting at 2PM in front of the station.
[01:16] ---
    Be sure to show up.
[01:22] ---
    I didn't even say anything...
[01:27] ---
    What?
[01:27] ---
    I forgot to mention this...
[01:29] ---
    Bring a swimsuit and plenty of money.
[01:32] ---
    And be sure to bring your bike.
    That's all, over and out!
[01:36] ---
    I had the feeling that I knew
    what Haruhi was going to say.
[01:42] ---
    No, not quite.
[01:45] ---
    To be precise, it felt like this exact
    same conversation had happened before.
[01:50] ---
    I guess it's what you would call déjà vu.
[01:59] ---
    Summer's almost over.
[02:11] ---
    Day by day, everything's just so dull
[02:16] ---
    That's why you need to become
    someone that can just reject it all
[02:21] ---
    Oh my boy, you need to be decisive
[02:25] ---
    I won't deal with any lies
    in this small world
[02:31] ---
    I found myself on my own,
    it's natural you'd fall for me
[02:36] ---
    Kick away the boring ways of doing things,
[02:38] ---
    I'm going to decide everything
[02:42] ---
    I say, I say my heaven
[02:45] ---
    Super driver, leave everything to the rush
[02:47] ---
    And just keep going forward, no matter what
[02:49] ---
    Surpass (Don't you stop me)
    The idea of "impossible"
[02:53] ---
    Take it easy, go!
[02:54] ---
    I agree, it's going to be a huge victory
[02:56] ---
    Of course, it'll feel pleasant,
    no matter what happens
[02:59] ---
    A review meeting? (Get back to wild)
    Forget that, now hurry up
[03:04] ---
    We haven't tried this or that,
    we always do things how we want
[03:09] ---
    Everything's a new experience,
    let's try them out
[03:14] ---
    We haven't tried this or that,
    we always do things suddenly
[03:19] ---
    Everything's a new experience,
    what about it?
[03:24] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
[03:34] ---
    You're late, Kyon!
[03:34] ---
    Endless Eight VI
[03:36] ---
    Show some more motivation!
[03:38] ---
    Yeah, yeah. Sorry I made you wait.
[03:40] ---
    Okay, we're all here, so let's go.
[03:43] ---
    Where are we going?
[03:43] ---
    To the public swimming pool, of course!
[03:46] ---
    Well, I guess that makes sense
    considering what I brought.
[03:48] ---
    We have to do summer vacation-y
    things during our summer vacation!
[03:52] ---
    We can never get back
    the time that we've lost!
[03:55] ---
    And so we're going to do them now,
    in our one and only summer as tenth graders.
[04:00] ---
    By the way, we're going to the pool by bike.
[04:03] ---
    Did you ride your bikes, too?
[04:05] ---
    No, the only two bikes we have
    are yours and mine.
[04:09] ---
    Kyon, you'd better not lose to Koizumi.
[04:12] ---
    This train is leaving the station!
[04:15] ---
    Hurry up and park your bikes, you two.
[04:18] ---
    Kyon, we're about to go have fun.
    This is no time to be exhausted.
[04:22] ---
    Whose fault do you think this is?
[04:24] ---
    Oh, the scent of chlorine.
    This really makes it feel like a pool!
[04:28] ---
    That's a lot of people.
[04:29] ---
    Come on, let's find a place
    to put our stuff and get swimming!
[04:33] ---
    We're going to race!
[04:35] ---
    Come on, Mikuru!
[04:36] ---
    Okay!
[04:37] ---
    No diving
[04:37] ---
    It's dangerous!
[04:40] ---
    Hurry up and get in!
    The water's warm so it feels fine!
[04:43] ---
    Can't she read the "no diving"
    signs posted everywhere?
[04:47] ---
    That looks like fun.
[04:49] ---
    This makes me smile, though. It feels peaceful.
[04:54] ---
    She has some rather normal ways
    of enjoying her time, don't you think?
[05:00] ---
    Calling out of the blue to invite someone
    out to do something and only giving
[05:03] ---
    a general idea of what's going
    to happen isn't what I'd call "normal."
[05:07] ---
    In my opinion, that's really nothing.
[05:12] ---
    Miss Suzumiya, laughing and
    having a good time like that,
[05:15] ---
    isn't likely to shake up the world, after all.
[05:18] ---
    I hope that's the case...
[05:21] ---
    All right!
[05:23] ---
    What's wrong?
[05:25] ---
    It's nothing. It's probably
    just my imagination.
[05:27] ---
    Because so much has happened
    since the beginning of spring,
[05:30] ---
    I've become a little paranoid.
[05:45] ---
    Here you are.
[05:46] ---
    Thank you.
[05:50] ---
    It's delicious.
[05:52] ---
    All right, let's go swim some more!
[05:55] ---
    Jeez.
[05:57] ---
    I think it would be better to call this place
    a communal pool than a public pool.
[06:02] ---
    I wonder why Haruhi chose this place.
[06:10] ---
    There it is again.
[06:12] ---
    It feels like I've seen this scene once before.
[06:15] ---
    Where Nagato kind of looks like she's bored...
[06:18] ---
    Kyon!
[06:20] ---
    Right, and then Haruhi says this...
[06:23] ---
    These two are my brigade members.
[06:25] ---
    They'll do anything you ask,
    so ask for anything you want!
[06:29] ---
    Okay, let's have some fun!
    We're going to play water soccer.
[06:33] ---
    Yeah, yeah.
[06:35] ---
    Well, déjà vu isn't all that uncommon.
[06:37] ---
    Here we go, Mikuru!
[06:47] ---
    I thought about what we'll be doing
    from here on. What do you think?
[06:51] ---
    What is that?
[06:52] ---
    It's a schedule of how we'll spend
    the rest of our short summer vacation.
[06:57] ---
    I realized that we only have
    two weeks of summer vacation left.
[07:01] ---
    That fact blew me away.
[07:03] ---
    We still have so much left to do,
    but we've only got this much time left!
[07:10] ---
    We're going to pick up the pace!
[07:12] ---
    All this in just two weeks?
[07:14] ---
    Is there anything else you want to do, Mikuru?
[07:17] ---
    Umm... I'd like to try goldfish scooping.
[07:21] ---
    Okay! Goldfish scooping...
[07:26] ---
    Pardon me for a moment.
[07:32] ---
    Thank you.
[07:34] ---
    Is there a place nearby
    that's having a Bon festival?
[07:37] ---
    I'll check around.
[07:39] ---
    Please do.
[07:41] ---
    We're starting tomorrow.
[07:42] ---
    We're done for today!
[07:52] ---
    Nagato!
[07:54] ---
    Umm... no, it's nothing important.
[07:58] ---
    How have you been? Everything fine?
[08:02] ---
    Fine.
[08:05] ---
    T-That's good to hear.
[08:08] ---
    Right.
[08:14] ---
    What the heck? Why did I talk to her?
[08:26] ---
    You can go now.
[08:33] ---
    The next morning, it was a call from
    Haruhi that awoke me from my slumber.
[08:38] ---
    They found a place
    that was holding a Bon festival.
[08:40] ---
    We're all going to go buy yukata!
[08:42] ---
    Both Mikuru and Yuki said that
    they don't own a yukata.
[08:45] ---
    I don't own one either, and there's a place
    selling them in sets for cheap! Let's go!
[08:49] ---
    Haruhi entered a women's
    clothing outlet store.
[08:52] ---
    She just went and chose yukata
    for Miss Asahina and Nagato,
[08:54] ---
    and then headed straight
    for the changing rooms.
[08:57] ---
    They made us wait for about an hour.
[08:58] ---
    Ta-dah!
[08:59] ---
    Whoa, how blinding!
[09:01] ---
    You all look wonderful.
[09:04] ---
    Of course! I chose these yukata, after all.
[09:07] ---
    Especially Mikuru!
[09:08] ---
    It's so cute on you! Just what
    you would expect from my choice!
[09:11] ---
    O-Of course.
[09:13] ---
    Miss Asahina!
[09:19] ---
    They have goldfish scooping,
    just like you wanted!
[09:22] ---
    Be sure to catch a bunch!
[09:23] ---
    A Bon festival, huh?
[09:26] ---
    I guess it makes sense
    for there to be this many people.
[09:31] ---
    It's been a while since I've come to one,
    but it feels like I have recently.
[09:36] ---
    That tower, those vendors...
[09:40] ---
    Shall we play, too? How about a competition?
[09:45] ---
    Leave it to me!
[09:48] ---
    I'll pass.
[09:51] ---
    What about you, Nagato?
    Want to eat something?
[10:01] ---
    You're interested in that stuff?
[10:04] ---
    Which one?
[10:05] ---
    It's all right.
[10:09] ---
    This one.
[10:10] ---
    Right-o, that'll be 800 yen.
[10:13] ---
    I kind of got the feeling
    that Nagato had been helping us out,
[10:16] ---
    so I thought it would be appropriate
    for me to at least buy her that, but...
[10:19] ---
    Wow, what a haul! Thirteen!
[10:23] ---
    But I don't need so many, so I just kept one.
[10:26] ---
    And one for Mikuru, too.
[10:31] ---
    You can have one, but only one.
[10:33] ---
    Thanks.
[10:38] ---
    What's with the mask, Yuki?
[10:41] ---
    I bought it.
[10:44] ---
    Huh. I see.
[10:46] ---
    Now then, next up is fireworks!
    Let's launch some fireworks to end the day!
[10:50] ---
    Don't you understand the meaning
[10:50] ---
    Fancy Fireworks Set
[10:51] ---
    of the word "moderation"?
[10:57] ---
    It was summer, and summer vacation.
[10:59] ---
    That's why I wanted to forget about it,
[11:02] ---
    but there was one thing lingering in my mind.
[11:07] ---
    Tomorrow we'll be catching bugs!
[11:09] ---
    Haruhi.
[11:10] ---
    It's fine to want to play around, but are you
    finished with your summer homework?
[11:13] ---
    What? You can finish homework
    like that in just three days.
[11:16] ---
    Three days?!
[11:17] ---
    You get that stuff out of the way so you can
    have fun without having to worry about it.
[11:23] ---
    That's how you enjoy your summer vacation.
[11:26] ---
    Why is she so smart?
[11:28] ---
    It seems like the guys up
    in heaven that were divvying up...
[11:30] ---
    the stats for us were being
    pretty lax about it.
[11:32] ---
    Everyone, tomorrow we'll be catching bugs!
[11:35] ---
    Whoever catches the most bugs...
[11:38] ---
    Okay, they'll get to be
    the brigade leader for a day!
[11:42] ---
    No thanks!
[11:43] ---
    That sounds interesting. Are any bugs okay?
[11:48] ---
    Hmm... only cicadas!
[11:51] ---
    That's it, this will be the SOS Brigade's
    Cicada Capturing Competition!
[11:56] ---
    The next day was yet again a beautiful day.
[12:00] ---
    It was on this day that we had the SOS
    Brigade Cicada Capturing Competition.
[12:04] ---
    Now!
[12:04] ---
    It looks like each of us did try, in their own way,
[12:07] ---
    but of course, or something to that effect,
    the winner ended up being Haruhi.
[12:11] ---
    A catch and release attitude
    is important, right?
[12:14] ---
    If we let them go, then they
    might come back to repay us.
[12:21] ---
    What could a cicada do,
    even if it did come back?
[12:25] ---
    For some reason, I kind of feel like
    Pandora opening her box.
[12:32] ---
    W-Welcome!
[12:35] ---
    The next day, we met up, even though
    we had no idea what was going on.
[12:39] ---
    And we remained in the dark even as
    we were made to wear frog costumes,
[12:42] ---
    and then pass out balloons in front of
    a supermarket as our part-time job.
[12:51] ---
    It feels like I was just released
    from the Adzam's Leader Beam.
[12:54] ---
    Good work, everyone.
[12:57] ---
    What's with this difference
    in how we're being treated?
[13:02] ---
    Thanks for the hard work.
    The manager is thankful.
[13:05] ---
    I don't care about his thanks.
    Where's our pay?
[13:10] ---
    This is it.
[13:12] ---
    I've wanted this for a while.
[13:15] ---
    The owner said that
    he'd give it to us for Mikuru's sake.
[13:18] ---
    We worked, sweat pouring
    down our foreheads, for that?
[13:22] ---
    Let's hang this up
    in the clubroom as a memento.
[13:25] ---
    Mikuru, you can wear it whenever
    you want. You have my permission!
[13:36] ---
    That night, a single phone call
    stole me away from my slumber.
[13:44] ---
    Kyon...
[13:47] ---
    Miss Asahina?
[13:47] ---
    Yes, it's me...
[13:51] ---
    At this rate, I...
[13:54] ---
    Umm...
[13:55] ---
    Hello, this is Koizumi.
[13:56] ---
    Why are you with Miss Asahina?
[13:59] ---
    Certain circumstances came up.
[14:01] ---
    Would it be possible for you
    to come join us right now?
[14:06] ---
    What in the world happened, Miss Asahina?
[14:12] ---
    Kyon, I... can't go back to the future...
[14:22] ---
    In other words, this is what's going on.
[14:24] ---
    We are going through
    an eternal loop of the same time period.
[14:29] ---
    Even if you say something as impossible
    as that with a smile on your face...
[14:34] ---
    Koizumi, do you realize what you're saying?
[14:38] ---
    I do. Much more than I wish I did.
[14:42] ---
    I had just been speaking with Miss Asahina.
[14:44] ---
    Call me too, when you have talks with her.
[14:46] ---
    And as a result,
    what we realized was that recently,
[14:50] ---
    the flow of time was a bit strange.
[14:53] ---
    You might want to credit this to Miss Asahina.
[14:56] ---
    Thanks to her, I was able to confirm it.
[14:58] ---
    Confirm what?
[15:00] ---
    That we have experienced
    the same span of time numerous times.
[15:05] ---
    You said that earlier.
[15:06] ---
    To be precise, we've been repeating
    the time from August 17th to the 31st.
[15:11] ---
    We're in the middle of
    an endless summer vacation.
[15:15] ---
    Well, it is summer vacation, but...
[15:19] ---
    It's a never-ending endless summer.
[15:23] ---
    This world has lost all time
    after September 1st.
[15:29] ---
    That is why Miss Asahina
    cannot go back to the future.
[15:33] ---
    I suppose you could say that it's natural.
[15:35] ---
    What's natural about there being
    no future? Who'd believe it?
[15:40] ---
    We'd like for you to believe it.
[15:46] ---
    Umm... I'll explain, too.
[15:51] ---
    Well... because of "classified information,"
[15:53] ---
    I'm always contacting the future
    and "classified information" -ing.
[16:00] ---
    But I hadn't received any
    "classified information"
[16:04] ---
    for about a week or so,
    and I thought, "that's strange."
[16:09] ---
    And so I "classified information."
[16:13] ---
    I was so surprised, I tried to
    "classified information,"
[16:19] ---
    but it was completely "classified information."
[16:22] ---
    Oh, what do I do?
[16:25] ---
    I don't know what you
    should do, either, but I wonder,
[16:28] ---
    are your "classified information" s
    things that cannot be said on television?
[16:33] ---
    Are we trapped inside
    one of those closed spaces?
[16:39] ---
    That's not it.
[16:41] ---
    A single portion of time has been torn away.
[16:45] ---
    At exactly the point when it
    becomes midnight on August 31st,
[16:49] ---
    everything resets, and we go back
    to August 17th. That's the process.
[16:57] ---
    So what about our...
    no, humanity's memories?
[17:01] ---
    Those are reset as well.
    Everything starts over from the beginning.
[17:05] ---
    So you mean that time does
    that thing that you mentioned.
[17:09] ---
    Well, we do have someone from
    the future here, I guess it can't be helped.
[17:13] ---
    Oh no, Miss Asahina isn't involved in this.
[17:15] ---
    Okay then, what's the culprit?
[17:18] ---
    I would guess Miss Suzumiya.
[17:21] ---
    I'm sure she doesn't realize it,
    but somewhere inside of her
[17:26] ---
    is a desire to not let
    summer vacation end.
[17:29] ---
    What the heck? Do you mean
    she feels regret over something?
[17:32] ---
    That's what I believe. Perhaps she feels
    that there's something left
[17:36] ---
    that she wants to do
    during our summer vacation?
[17:41] ---
    Man, the hopeless situations
    she causes unfold on a galactic scale.
[17:46] ---
    So, what are you saying I should do?
[17:48] ---
    If we knew that, we would
    have this problem solved.
[17:51] ---
    I've been wondering this since I got here,
    but you seem awfully cheerful about this.
[17:55] ---
    It's because we've finally
    been able to solve the mystery
[17:58] ---
    of the frequent feelings of
    déjà vu that I've had recently,
[18:00] ---
    and that you may have had, too.
[18:02] ---
    Now that I think about it,
    those inexplicable feelings may have been
[18:06] ---
    remnants from when
    our memories have been reset.
[18:10] ---
    Is it possible that other people
    across the world feel this, too?
[18:13] ---
    It doesn't seem that way.
    You and I are a special case.
[18:18] ---
    It appears that the people
    who are closest to Miss Suzumiya
[18:21] ---
    are able to sense this strangeness.
[18:23] ---
    What about Haruhi?
    Does she sense any of this at all?
[18:27] ---
    Not at all, it seems. It would
    probably be bad for us if she did.
[18:33] ---
    However, I believe that there is
    one person who remembers everything,
[18:39] ---
    more than the déjà vu that we do.
[18:42] ---
    And who would that be?
[18:44] ---
    I think you know, even without my saying.
[18:48] ---
    It's Miss Nagato.
[18:49] ---
    I believe that the Thought Entity,
    which transcends time and space, would.
[18:55] ---
    Is that right?
[18:57] ---
    It is.
[18:58] ---
    You remember all of it?
[19:00] ---
    Right.
[19:01] ---
    So, how many times have we
    repeated all of this, this time?
[19:05] ---
    This is the 15,524th time.
[19:10] ---
    15,524?
[19:13] ---
    What do you mean by 15,524?
    Nagato, what are you saying?
[19:20] ---
    Are you serious?
[19:22] ---
    I am.
[19:24] ---
    You're saying that we've done
    the exact same things that many times?
[19:29] ---
    They're not all guaranteed to happen.
[19:31] ---
    Out of 15,524 repetitions,
    there are two occasions,
[19:37] ---
    #2,391 and ♪11,054,
    where we did not go to a Bon festival.
[19:42] ---
    A pattern where we did go to a Bon festival,
[19:45] ---
    but did not go to a goldfish
    scooping stand, occurred 437 times.
[19:48] ---
    We had a part-time job...
[19:50] ---
    I got it, that's enough.
[19:56] ---
    15,524 times, that's what Nagato said.
[20:02] ---
    Times two weeks, hmm,
    that's around 595 years.
[20:07] ---
    She alone has memories of all that time,
[20:11] ---
    repeating it all over and over.
[20:15] ---
    Nagato, how must it feel to experience
    that same period of time over and over again?
[20:22] ---
    I've heard yet another crazy story.
[20:26] ---
    The next day, we went stargazing.
[20:28] ---
    The location was Nagato's apartment,
[20:30] ---
    and the telescope was one
    that Koizumi had gotten for us.
[20:35] ---
    Oh, I'm bored of this.
    UFOs. Let's look for UFOs.
[20:51] ---
    Exactly what does she want to do?
[20:53] ---
    Now what could that be?
[20:56] ---
    How about trying this out?
[20:59] ---
    Give Miss Suzumiya
    a sudden embrace from behind,
[21:01] ---
    then whisper "I love you" into her ear.
[21:05] ---
    And who would be doing that?
[21:07] ---
    Is there anyone else who could
    fill the role other than you?
[21:10] ---
    I've been waiting to hear that!
[21:12] ---
    Like hell I will.
[21:14] ---
    All right, how about if I do it?
[21:20] ---
    I'm kidding.
[21:25] ---
    High speed
[21:26] ---
    Home run
[21:27] ---
    Next, we went off to a batting center.
[21:33] ---
    Hey, Nagato, you were aware of this loop
    before Miss Asahina said anything, right?
[21:38] ---
    Yes.
[21:39] ---
    If that's the case,
    why didn't you say anything?
[21:42] ---
    It's my job to observe.
[21:45] ---
    All right!
[21:55] ---
    I win again!
[22:03] ---
    Yay!
[22:05] ---
    Get us more time!
[22:10] ---
    With this, we've finished everything on our list.
[22:12] ---
    Hmm. I wonder if this was good enough.
[22:18] ---
    But... I guess this works.
[22:20] ---
    Hey, is there anything else you want to do?
[22:29] ---
    That's fine, then.
[22:31] ---
    We were able to do a lot this summer,
    so that's enough, right?
[22:34] ---
    No, it's not. You're still not satisfied.
[22:39] ---
    Okay, we're done for today.
[22:41] ---
    I had tomorrow set aside just in case,
    but you can just take the day off.
[22:45] ---
    Let's meet again in the clubroom
    the day after tomorrow.
[22:50] ---
    W-Wait, Haruhi...
[22:55] ---
    There it is again! That déjà vu!
[22:57] ---
    And it's a strong one,
    stronger than ever before.
[23:01] ---
    I can't let Haruhi leave. If she goes,
[23:04] ---
    we'll end up repeating these past two weeks
    for the some-thousandth time again.
[23:10] ---
    But what should I do? What should I say?
[23:14] ---
    What has she said up to this point?
[23:17] ---
    I don't know... I can't remember...
[23:32] ---
    August 31st. I haven't touched my homework.
[23:36] ---
    Whatever, it doesn't matter anymore.
[23:39] ---
    If we're just going to do it all over again,
    then there's no point to doing it.
[23:46] ---
    Whether tomorrow comes or not, I'll leave
    it to the me at that time to deal with it.
[24:04] ---
    It fell from the sky
[24:07] ---
    With all of the wishes that were made upon it
[24:10] ---
    Maybe it was a little too heavy for a single star
[24:15] ---
    Something just doesn't seem right
[24:17] ---
    The image of you in my mind has vanished
[24:20] ---
    Can I say that I remember you clearly?
[24:24] ---
    Stop!
[24:26] ---
    The past belongs to me
[24:30] ---
    Of course I don't want
    to trade it with anyone else
[24:34] ---
    That's because
[24:35] ---
    It was my birthday,
    and when we saw each other
[24:41] ---
    We could see the first dream
[24:44] ---
    That we had when we were born
[24:46] ---
    Worrying about "what do I do?"
[24:51] ---
    Is laughable when I think about it now
[24:55] ---
    I've already forgotten it
[24:58] ---
    Let's search for you

E18 - Endless Eight VII
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:23] ---
    Something's off.
[00:27] ---
    Something's off.
[00:29] ---
    Something's off.
[00:32] ---
    Something seems off.
    It just somehow felt that way.
[00:36] ---
    I had absolutely no interest in
    the prefectural baseball game on TV,
[00:41] ---
    but I kind of ended up
    rooting for the losing side.
[00:45] ---
    Once I did, I kind of got the feeling
    that Haruhi was going to start something.
[00:50] ---
    Incoming call: Haruhi Suzumiya
[00:58] ---
    Kyon, the phone's ringing.
[01:00] ---
    I know, you don't have to tell me.
[01:07] ---
    You're not doing anything today, right?
    We're meeting at 2PM in front of the station.
[01:11] ---
    Be sure to show up.
[01:14] ---
    I didn't even say anything...
[01:19] ---
    What?
[01:20] ---
    I forgot to mention this...
[01:23] ---
    Bring a swimsuit and plenty of money.
[01:26] ---
    And be sure to bring your bike.
    That's all, over and out!
[01:30] ---
    I still haven't...
[01:34] ---
    I had the feeling that I knew
    what Haruhi was going to say.
[01:39] ---
    No, not quite.
[01:40] ---
    To be precise, it felt like this exact
    same conversation had happened before.
[01:44] ---
    I guess it's what you would call déjà vu.
[02:02] ---
    Summer's almost over.
[02:14] ---
    Day by day, everything's just so dull
[02:19] ---
    That's why you need to become
    someone that can just reject it all
[02:24] ---
    Oh my boy, you need to be decisive
[02:28] ---
    I won't deal with any lies
    in this small world
[02:34] ---
    I found myself on my own,
    it's natural you'd fall for me
[02:39] ---
    Kick away the boring ways of doing things,
[02:41] ---
    I'm going to decide everything
[02:45] ---
    I say, I say my heaven
[02:48] ---
    Super driver, leave everything to the rush
[02:50] ---
    And just keep going forward, no matter what
[02:52] ---
    Surpass (Don't you stop me)
    The idea of "impossible"
[02:56] ---
    Take it easy, go!
[02:57] ---
    I agree, it's going to be a huge victory
[02:59] ---
    Of course, it'll feel pleasant,
    no matter what happens
[03:02] ---
    A review meeting? (Get back to wild)
    Forget that, now hurry up
[03:07] ---
    We haven't tried this or that,
    we always do things how we want
[03:12] ---
    Everything's a new experience,
    let's try them out
[03:17] ---
    We haven't tried this or that,
    we always do things suddenly
[03:22] ---
    Everything's a new experience,
    what about it?
[03:27] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
[03:36] ---
    You're late, Kyon! Show some more motivation!
[03:36] ---
    Endless Eight VII
[03:39] ---
    Yeah, yeah.
[03:42] ---
    Sorry I made you wait.
[03:44] ---
    I just got here, too.
[03:46] ---
    Okay, we're all here, so let's go.
[03:50] ---
    Where are we going?
[03:51] ---
    To the public swimming pool, of course!
[03:54] ---
    Well, I guess that makes sense
    considering what I brought.
[03:57] ---
    We have to do summer vacation-y
    things during our summer vacation!
[04:00] ---
    We can never get back the time that we've lost!
[04:04] ---
    And so we're going to do them now,
    in our one and only summer as tenth graders.
[04:10] ---
    By the way, we're going to the pool by bike.
[04:14] ---
    Did you ride your bikes, too?
[04:15] ---
    No, the only two bikes we have
    are yours and mine.
[04:21] ---
    Kyon, you'd better not lose to Koizumi.
[04:24] ---
    This train is leaving the station!
[04:31] ---
    Come on, you two,
    hurry up and park your bikes.
[04:36] ---
    Hey now, Kyon, we're about to go have fun.
    This is no time to be exhausted.
[04:40] ---
    Whose fault do you think this is?
[04:42] ---
    Oh, the scent of chlorine.
    This really makes it feel like a pool!
[04:47] ---
    Come on, let's get in! We're going to race!
[04:51] ---
    Oh, Miss Suzumiya, wait!
[04:51] ---
    No diving
[04:51] ---
    It's dangerous
[04:55] ---
    That looks like fun.
[04:57] ---
    It sure does.
[04:58] ---
    This makes me smile, though. It feels peaceful.
[05:03] ---
    She has some rather normal ways
    of enjoying her time, don't you think?
[05:08] ---
    Calling out of the blue to invite someone
    out to do something and only giving
[05:13] ---
    a general idea of what's going to
    happen isn't what I'd call "normal."
[05:17] ---
    In my opinion, that's really nothing.
[05:21] ---
    Miss Suzumiya, laughing and
    having a good time like that,
[05:24] ---
    isn't likely to shake up the world, after all.
[05:27] ---
    I hope that's the case...
[05:31] ---
    What's wrong?
[05:33] ---
    It's nothing...
[05:36] ---
    It's probably just my imagination.
[05:38] ---
    Because so much has happened
    since the beginning of spring,
[05:41] ---
    I've become a little paranoid.
[05:47] ---
    Oh, I lost again!
[05:49] ---
    Yuki, let's go one more time!
[05:55] ---
    Here I come!
[06:01] ---
    Delicious! This is delicious, Mikuru!
[06:09] ---
    Jeez.
[06:10] ---
    I think it would be better to call this place
    a communal pool than a public pool.
[06:15] ---
    I wonder why Haruhi chose this place.
[06:20] ---
    Jeez.
[06:21] ---
    I think it would be better to call this place
    a communal pool than a public pool.
[06:26] ---
    I wonder why Haruhi chose this place.
[06:33] ---
    What is this feeling?
[06:38] ---
    Right, and then Haruhi says this...
[06:42] ---
    "These two are my brigade members."
[06:44] ---
    "They'll do anything you ask,
    so ask for anything you want!"
[06:48] ---
    Okay, let's have some fun!
    We're going to play water soccer.
[06:53] ---
    Yeah, yeah.
[06:54] ---
    Well, déjà vu isn't all that uncommon.
[07:00] ---
    What is that?
[07:02] ---
    It's a schedule of how we'll spend
    the rest of our short summer vacation.
[07:06] ---
    I realized that we only have
    two weeks of summer vacation left.
[07:11] ---
    We're going to pick up the pace!
[07:14] ---
    All this in just two weeks?
[07:16] ---
    Is there anything else you want to do, Mikuru?
[07:20] ---
    Umm... I'd like to try goldfish scooping.
[07:26] ---
    Okay! Goldfish scooping...
[07:31] ---
    Done!
[07:33] ---
    Pardon me for a moment.
[07:37] ---
    Thank you.
[07:38] ---
    Done already?
[07:39] ---
    Yes.
[07:40] ---
    Okay then, we're starting tomorrow!
[07:43] ---
    Is there a place nearby with a Bon festival?
    A fireworks show works, too.
[07:48] ---
    I'll check around.
[07:50] ---
    Don't forget about the goldfish scooping!
[07:52] ---
    Roger that.
[08:00] ---
    I'm paying again?
[08:02] ---
    All right, then, we're done for today!
[08:05] ---
    If you'll excuse me.
[08:07] ---
    I have to go, too...
[08:16] ---
    Nagato!
[08:20] ---
    Umm... no, it's nothing important.
[08:24] ---
    How have you been? Everything fine?
[08:27] ---
    Fine.
[08:28] ---
    That's good to hear.
[08:30] ---
    Right.
[08:34] ---
    S-Sorry about stopping you.
[08:38] ---
    Sorry!
[08:40] ---
    What the heck? Why did I talk to her?
[08:48] ---
    The next morning, it was a call from Haruhi
    that awoke me from my slumber.
[08:54] ---
    They found a place having a Bon festival.
    It was tonight at a public park.
[09:00] ---
    Kyon! You're last again!
[09:03] ---
    Jeez.
[09:05] ---
    Oh well. Let's go buy yukata!
[09:11] ---
    Haruhi entered a women's
    clothing outlet store.
[09:14] ---
    Come on, hurry up!
[09:14] ---
    She just went and chose yukata
[09:15] ---
    for Miss Asahina and Nagato,
[09:15] ---
    Leave it to me!
[09:16] ---
    And then headed straight for the changing rooms.
[09:20] ---
    After making us wait about an hour or so,
    the three of them finally came out at once.
[09:24] ---
    What do you think?
[09:28] ---
    We're pretty hot, aren't we?
[09:30] ---
    You all look wonderful.
[09:32] ---
    Of course! I chose these yukata, after all.
[09:35] ---
    Especially Mikuru!
[09:37] ---
    It's so cute on you! It's just too cute!
[09:40] ---
    Just what you would expect from my choice!
[09:42] ---
    O-Of course.
[09:44] ---
    Miss Asahina! Twirl... twirl!
[09:47] ---
    Wow, this is amazing!
[09:51] ---
    Yeah! It's nice and lively!
[09:53] ---
    A Bon festival, huh?
[09:55] ---
    I guess it makes sense
    for there to be this many... people.
[10:01] ---
    There... there it is again. What is this feeling?
[10:06] ---
    Mikuru!
[10:08] ---
    They have goldfish scooping,
    just like you wanted!
[10:11] ---
    Be sure to catch a bunch!
[10:13] ---
    Okay!
[10:14] ---
    Shall we play, too? How about a competition?
[10:18] ---
    I'll pass.
[10:19] ---
    What about you, Nagato?
    Want to eat something?
[10:26] ---
    Oh, you're interested in that stuff?
[10:30] ---
    Which one?
[10:31] ---
    It's all right.
[10:35] ---
    This one.
[10:36] ---
    Right-o, that'll be 800 yen.
[10:38] ---
    I kind of got the feeling that
    Nagato had been helping us out,
[10:41] ---
    so I thought it would be appropriate
    for me to at least buy her that, but...
[10:44] ---
    Thirteen! But I don't need
    so many, so I just kept one.
[10:49] ---
    That's amazing.
[10:52] ---
    You can have one, but only one.
[10:54] ---
    Thanks.
[10:58] ---
    Huh? What's with the mask?
[11:00] ---
    I bought it.
[11:01] ---
    Huh. I see.
[11:04] ---
    Now then, next up is fireworks!
    Let's launch some fireworks to end the day!
[11:11] ---
    It was summer, and summer vacation.
[11:13] ---
    I won't let you destroy it!
[11:14] ---
    That's why I wanted to forget about it,
[11:16] ---
    but there was one thing lingering in my mind.
[11:21] ---
    All right, tomorrow we'll be catching bugs!
[11:23] ---
    Haruhi.
[11:24] ---
    It's fine to want to play around, but are you
    finished with your summer homework?
[11:28] ---
    What? You can finish homework
    like that in just three days.
[11:33] ---
    Three days?!
[11:34] ---
    You get that stuff out of the way so you can
    have fun without having to worry about it.
[11:39] ---
    That's how you enjoy your summer vacation.
[11:43] ---
    Why is she so smart?
[11:46] ---
    It seems like the guys up
    in heaven that were divvying up
[11:48] ---
    the stats for us
    were being pretty lax about it.
[11:51] ---
    And so, tomorrow we'll be catching bugs!
[11:54] ---
    Whoever catches the most bugs...
[11:57] ---
    Okay, they'll get to be
    the brigade leader for a day!
[12:03] ---
    No thanks!
[12:04] ---
    That sounds interesting. Are any bugs okay?
[12:08] ---
    Hmm... only cicadas!
[12:12] ---
    That's it, this will be the SOS Brigade's
    Cicada Capturing Competition!
[12:18] ---
    The next day was yet again a beautiful day.
[12:22] ---
    It was on this day that we had the
    SOS Brigade Cicada Capturing Competition.
[12:25] ---
    Oh, no!
[12:25] ---
    It looks like each of us did try, in their own way,
[12:28] ---
    but of course, or something to that effect,
    the winner ended up being Haruhi.
[12:33] ---
    A catch and release attitude
    is important, right?
[12:37] ---
    If we let them go, then they
    might come back to repay us.
[12:41] ---
    What could a cicada do,
    even if it did come back?
[12:44] ---
    There you go! Go back to the mountains!
[12:51] ---
    For some reason, I kind of
    feel like Pandora opening her box.
[12:56] ---
    W-Welcome!
[12:58] ---
    The next day, even though
    we had no idea what was going on,
[13:01] ---
    we were made to wear frog costumes
    for our part-time job at the supermarket.
[13:07] ---
    Good work, everyone.
[13:09] ---
    What's with this difference
    in how we're being treated?
[13:11] ---
    Thanks for the hard work.
    The manager is thankful.
[13:15] ---
    I don't care about his thanks.
    Where's our pay?
[13:19] ---
    That's it.
[13:21] ---
    I've wanted that for a while.
[13:25] ---
    The owner said that he'd
    give it to us for Mikuru's sake.
[13:29] ---
    We worked, sweat pouring
    down our foreheads, for that?
[13:33] ---
    Let's hang that up
    in the clubroom as a memento.
[13:36] ---
    Mikuru, you can wear it whenever
    you want. You have my permission!
[13:49] ---
    That night, a single phone call
    stole me away from my slumber.
[13:59] ---
    Oh, come on! Hello?
[14:04] ---
    Kyon...
[14:07] ---
    Miss Asahina?!
[14:09] ---
    Yes, it's me...
[14:13] ---
    Something... very not good has...
    At this rate, I...
[14:18] ---
    What do I...
[14:21] ---
    Umm...
[14:21] ---
    Hello, this is Koizumi.
[14:23] ---
    Why are you with Miss Asahina?
[14:27] ---
    Certain circumstances came up.
[14:29] ---
    Would it be possible for you
    to come join us right now?
[14:32] ---
    Why you... why you!
[14:36] ---
    What in the world happened, Miss Asahina?
[14:40] ---
    Kyon...
[14:41] ---
    I... can't go back to the future...
[14:49] ---
    I can't understand what she's saying...
[14:52] ---
    In other words, this is what's going on.
[14:55] ---
    We are going through
    an eternal loop of the same time period.
[14:59] ---
    Even if you say something as impossible
    as that with a smile on your face...
[15:03] ---
    Koizumi, do you realize
    what you're saying? Do you?
[15:07] ---
    I do. Much more than I wish I did.
[15:11] ---
    I had just been speaking with Miss Asahina.
[15:14] ---
    Call me too. And then don't come.
[15:17] ---
    And as a result,
    what we realized was that recently,
[15:20] ---
    the flow of time was a bit strange.
[15:23] ---
    You might want to credit this to Miss Asahina.
[15:27] ---
    Thanks to her, I was able to confirm it.
[15:29] ---
    Confirm what?
[15:31] ---
    That we have experienced
    the same span of time numerous times.
[15:36] ---
    You said that earlier.
[15:38] ---
    To be precise, we've been repeating
    the time from August 17th to the 31st.
[15:43] ---
    We're in the middle of
    an endless summer vacation.
[15:47] ---
    Well, it is summer vacation, but...
[15:49] ---
    It's a never-ending endless summer.
[15:52] ---
    This world has lost all time
    after September 1st.
[15:59] ---
    Who'd believe that?
[16:01] ---
    We'd like for you to believe it.
[16:06] ---
    Are we trapped inside
    one of those closed spaces?
[16:13] ---
    That's not it.
[16:15] ---
    A single portion of time has been torn away.
[16:19] ---
    At exactly the point when it
    becomes midnight on August 31st,
[16:22] ---
    everything resets, and we go back
    to August 17th. That's the process.
[16:28] ---
    So what about our...
    no, humanity's memories?
[16:30] ---
    Those are reset as well.
    Everything starts over from the beginning.
[16:37] ---
    So you mean that time
    does that thing that you mentioned.
[16:40] ---
    Well, we do have someone from
    the future here, I guess it can't be helped.
[16:44] ---
    Oh no, Miss Asahina isn't involved in this.
[16:50] ---
    Okay then, what's the culprit?
[16:52] ---
    I would guess Miss Suzumiya.
[16:55] ---
    I'm sure she doesn't realize it,
    but somewhere inside of her
[16:59] ---
    is a desire to not let summer vacation end.
[17:02] ---
    What the heck? Do you mean
    she feels regret over something?
[17:06] ---
    That's what I believe.
[17:08] ---
    Perhaps she feels that there's something left
[17:11] ---
    that she wants to do
    during our summer vacation?
[17:13] ---
    Man, the hopeless situations
    she causes unfold on a galactic scale.
[17:18] ---
    So, what are you saying I should do?
[17:20] ---
    If we knew that,
    we would have this problem solved.
[17:24] ---
    I've been wondering this since I got here,
    but you seem awfully cheerful about this.
[17:29] ---
    It's because we've finally
    been able to solve the mystery
[17:31] ---
    of the frequent feelings
    of déjà vu that I've had recently,
[17:34] ---
    and that you may have had, too.
[17:36] ---
    Now that I think about it,
    those inexplicable feelings may have been
[17:40] ---
    remnants from when
    our memories have been reset.
[17:44] ---
    Is it possible that other people
    across the world feel this, too?
[17:47] ---
    It doesn't seem that way.
    You and I are a special case.
[17:51] ---
    What about Haruhi?
    Does she sense any of this at all?
[17:56] ---
    Not at all, it seems. It would
    probably be bad for us if she did.
[18:04] ---
    However, I believe that there is
    one person who remembers everything,
[18:09] ---
    more than the déjà vu that we do.
[18:13] ---
    And who would that be?
[18:15] ---
    I think you know, even without my saying.
[18:19] ---
    Is that right?
[18:20] ---
    It is.
[18:22] ---
    You remember all of it?
[18:24] ---
    Right.
[18:25] ---
    So, how many times have we
    repeated all of this, this time?
[18:29] ---
    This is the 15,527th time.
[18:33] ---
    15,527?
[18:36] ---
    What do you mean by 15,527?
    Nagato, what are you saying?
[18:42] ---
    Are you serious?
[18:45] ---
    I am.
[18:46] ---
    You're saying that we've done
    the exact same things that many times?
[18:51] ---
    They're not all guaranteed to happen.
[18:53] ---
    Out of 15,527 repetitions,
    there are two occasions,
[18:58] ---
    #2,391 and ♪11,054,
    where we did not go to a Bon festival.
[19:02] ---
    A pattern where we did go to a Bon festival,
[19:04] ---
    but did not go to a goldfish
    scooping stand, occurred 437 times.
[19:08] ---
    We've had a part-time job
    9,052 times, and when we did,
[19:11] ---
    there were six different
    kinds of jobs that we did.
[19:13] ---
    In addition to handing out balloons,
    we also worked as movers,
[19:16] ---
    cashiers, we handed out flyers--
[19:20] ---
    That's... enough.
[19:27] ---
    See you later.
[19:32] ---
    15,527 times, that's what Nagato said.
[19:37] ---
    Times two weeks, hmm,
    that's around 595 years.
[19:43] ---
    She alone has memories of all that time,
    repeating it all over and over...
[19:51] ---
    Nagato, how must it feel to experience
    that same period of time over and over again?
[19:58] ---
    The next day, we went stargazing.
[20:01] ---
    The location was Nagato's apartment,
[20:03] ---
    and the telescope was one
    that Koizumi had gotten for us.
[20:07] ---
    I wonder if they exist.
[20:09] ---
    If what exist?
[20:11] ---
    Martians.
[20:12] ---
    I kind of don't want them to.
[20:14] ---
    When man finally sets foot on Mars,
[20:16] ---
    I'm sure that they'll come out
    from under their cover and welcome us,
[20:20] ---
    saying, "Welcome to Mars!"
[20:23] ---
    Oh, I'm bored of this.
    UFOs. Let's look for UFOs.
[20:32] ---
    Exactly what does she want to do?
[20:34] ---
    Now what could that be?
[20:37] ---
    If we could figure that out,
    this would all be solved...
[20:42] ---
    How about trying this out?
[20:44] ---
    Give Miss Suzumiya
    a sudden embrace from behind,
[20:48] ---
    then whisper "I love you" into her ear.
[20:51] ---
    And who would be doing that?
[20:53] ---
    Is there anyone else who could
    fill the role other than you?
[20:57] ---
    I love you... No, I'm graduating
    from your control.
[21:01] ---
    All right, how about if I do it?
[21:06] ---
    I'm kidding. I'm lacking
    a certain something for the role.
[21:10] ---
    And all that would do is cause
    unnecessary confusion in Miss Suzumiya.
[21:17] ---
    Next, we went off to a batting center.
[21:22] ---
    Hey, Nagato,
[21:24] ---
    you were aware of this loop
    before Miss Asahina said anything, right?
[21:28] ---
    Yes.
[21:29] ---
    If that's the case,
    why didn't you say anything?
[21:34] ---
    It's my job to observe.
[21:38] ---
    I see.
[21:40] ---
    Home run
[21:46] ---
    We continued to run through
    a torrent of summer vacation events.
[21:49] ---
    A fireworks show. Goby fishing tournament.
[21:51] ---
    Test of courage. Movie watching.
    We went to the beach.
[21:54] ---
    We just kept going.
[21:57] ---
    Of course, I knew that this
    wasn't going to satisfy Haruhi.
[22:01] ---
    Even still, there wasn't
    anything I could do about it,
[22:04] ---
    and so we ended up at August 30th...
[22:10] ---
    With this, we've finished everything on our list.
[22:15] ---
    Hmm. I wonder if this was good enough.
[22:19] ---
    But, hmm, well... I guess this works.
[22:23] ---
    Hey, is there anything else you want to do?
[22:30] ---
    That's fine, then.
[22:32] ---
    We were able to do a lot this summer,
    so that's enough, right?
[22:37] ---
    No, it's not. You're still not satisfied.
[22:41] ---
    Okay, we're done for today.
[22:43] ---
    I had tomorrow set aside just in case,
    but you can just take the day off.
[22:48] ---
    Let's meet again in the clubroom
    the day after tomorrow.
[22:53] ---
    W-Wait, Haru--
[22:55] ---
    Okay, we're done for today.
[22:57] ---
    I had tomorrow set aside just in case,
    but you can just take the day off.
[23:02] ---
    There it is again!
[23:03] ---
    And it's a strong one,
    stronger than ever before.
[23:06] ---
    I can't let Haruhi leave.
[23:08] ---
    If she goes, we'll end up
    repeating these past two weeks
[23:12] ---
    for the some-thousandth time again.
[23:15] ---
    But what should I do?
[23:17] ---
    There must have been a hint
    somewhere in what Haruhi said.
[23:20] ---
    But what was it?
[23:22] ---
    What has she said up to this point?
[23:24] ---
    I don't know... I can't remember...
[23:34] ---
    August 31st.
[23:37] ---
    Impossible
[23:38] ---
    I haven't touched my homework.
[23:40] ---
    Whatever, it doesn't matter anymore.
[23:43] ---
    If we're just going to do it all over again,
    then there's no point to doing it.
[23:49] ---
    Whether tomorrow comes or not, I'll leave
    it to the me at that time to deal with it.
[24:04] ---
    It fell from the sky
[24:07] ---
    With all of the wishes that were made upon it
[24:09] ---
    Maybe it was a little too heavy for a single star
[24:15] ---
    Something just doesn't seem right
[24:17] ---
    The image of you in my mind has vanished
[24:20] ---
    Can I say that I remember you clearly?
[24:24] ---
    Stop!
[24:26] ---
    The past belongs to me
[24:30] ---
    Of course I don't want
    to trade it with anyone else
[24:34] ---
    That's because
[24:36] ---
    It was my birthday,
    and when we saw each other
[24:41] ---
    We could see the first dream
[24:43] ---
    That we had when we were born
[24:46] ---
    Worrying about "what do I do?"
[24:51] ---
    Is laughable when I think about it now
[24:55] ---
    I've already forgotten it
[24:58] ---
    Let's search for you

E19 - Endless Eight VIII
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:32] ---
    Something seems off.
[00:35] ---
    That's true. It just somehow felt that way.
[00:38] ---
    I had absolutely no interest in
    the prefectural baseball game on TV,
[00:43] ---
    but I kind of ended up
    rooting for the losing side.
[00:48] ---
    Once I did, I kind of got the feeling
    that Haruhi was going to start something.
[00:53] ---
    Incoming call: Haruhi Suzumiya
[00:55] ---
    What does she want?
[00:56] ---
    Kyon, the phone's ringing.
[00:58] ---
    I know, you don't have to tell me.
[01:01] ---
    You're not doing anything today, right?
[01:03] ---
    We're all meeting at exactly
    two o'clock in front of the station.
[01:06] ---
    Be sure to show up.
[01:08] ---
    I didn't even say anything...
[01:14] ---
    What?
[01:15] ---
    I forgot to mention this--
    bring a swimsuit and plenty of money.
[01:20] ---
    And be sure to bring your bike.
    That's all, over and out!
[01:24] ---
    I had the feeling that I knew
    what Haruhi was going to say.
[01:32] ---
    No, not quite.
[01:33] ---
    To be precise, it felt like this exact
    same conversation had happened before.
[01:38] ---
    I guess it's what you would call déjà vu.
[01:44] ---
    Summer's almost over.
[01:56] ---
    Day by day, everything's just so dull
[02:01] ---
    That's why you need to become
    someone that can just reject it all
[02:06] ---
    Oh my boy, you need to be decisive
[02:10] ---
    I won't deal with any lies
    in this small world
[02:16] ---
    I found myself on my own,
    it's natural you'd fall for me
[02:21] ---
    Kick away the boring ways of doing things,
[02:23] ---
    I'm going to decide everything
[02:27] ---
    I say, I say my heaven
[02:30] ---
    Super driver, leave everything to the rush
[02:32] ---
    And just keep going forward, no matter what
[02:34] ---
    Surpass (Don't you stop me)
    The idea of "impossible"
[02:38] ---
    Take it easy, go!
[02:39] ---
    I agree, it's going to be a huge victory
[02:41] ---
    Of course, it'll feel pleasant,
    no matter what happens
[02:44] ---
    A review meeting? (Get back to wild)
    Forget that, now hurry up
[02:49] ---
    We haven't tried this or that,
    we always do things how we want
[02:54] ---
    Everything's a new experience,
    let's try them out
[02:59] ---
    We haven't tried this or that,
    we always do things suddenly
[03:04] ---
    Everything's a new experience,
    what about it?
[03:09] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
[03:20] ---
    Endless Eight VIII
[03:31] ---
    You're late, Kyon!
    Show some more motivation!
[03:34] ---
    Yeah, yeah.
[03:36] ---
    I came just for you.
[03:38] ---
    Oh, thank you.
[03:40] ---
    Okay, we're all here, so let's go.
[03:43] ---
    Go where?
[03:44] ---
    To the public swimming pool, of course!
[03:46] ---
    Well, I guess that makes sense
    considering what I brought.
[03:49] ---
    We have to do summer vacation-y
    things during our summer vacation!
[03:52] ---
    We can never get back
    the time that we've lost!
[03:56] ---
    And so we're going to
    do them now, during this,
[03:58] ---
    our one and only summer as tenth graders.
[04:01] ---
    Okay, Kyon and Koizumi,
[04:03] ---
    we're counting on you
    until we get to the pool.
[04:04] ---
    I'd rather not ask this,
    but counting on us for what?
[04:08] ---
    We're going on your bikes!
[04:16] ---
    Oh, the scent of chlorine.
    This really makes it feel like a pool!
[04:20] ---
    Woo hoo!
[04:21] ---
    No diving
[04:21] ---
    It's dangerous
[04:23] ---
    Restrain thyself. Canst thou
    not read the "no diving" signs?
[04:29] ---
    Hurry up and get in!
    The water's warm so it feels fine!
[04:37] ---
    In you go!
[04:42] ---
    That looks like fun.
[04:43] ---
    She has some rather normal ways
    of enjoying her time, don't you think?
[04:49] ---
    I don't think I can say that
    inviting someone to do something
[04:52] ---
    by calling them out of the blue,
    and only giving a general idea
[04:55] ---
    of what's going to happen as "normal."
[04:58] ---
    Well, there is the saying,
    "Strike while the iron is hot."
[05:01] ---
    Yeah, but when she strikes something,
[05:04] ---
    we've never gotten anything but bad luck.
[05:07] ---
    Even so, this is more than peaceful enough.
[05:11] ---
    Miss Suzumiya, laughing and
    having a good time like that,
[05:13] ---
    isn't likely to shake up the world, after all.
[05:19] ---
    What's wrong?
[05:21] ---
    It's nothing. It's probably just my imagination.
[05:24] ---
    Because so much has happened
    since the beginning of spring,
[05:26] ---
    I've become a little paranoid.
[05:33] ---
    Almost! Let's go one more time!
[05:54] ---
    Delicious. So strawberry and delicious!
[06:05] ---
    Jeez.
[06:06] ---
    I think it would be better to call this place
    a communal pool than a public pool.
[06:11] ---
    I wonder why Haruhi chose this place.
[06:19] ---
    There it is again, that strange sensation.
[06:22] ---
    It feels like I've seen this scene once before.
[06:25] ---
    Where Nagato kind of looks like she's bored...
[06:29] ---
    Kyon!
[06:32] ---
    Right, and then Haruhi says this...
[06:36] ---
    "These two are my brigade members."
[06:38] ---
    "They'll do anything you ask,
    so ask for anything you want!"
[06:41] ---
    Okay!
[06:42] ---
    Okay, let's have some fun!
    We're going to play water soccer.
[06:46] ---
    Yeah, yeah.
[06:48] ---
    Well, déjà vu isn't all that uncommon.
[06:54] ---
    I've been thinking about how
    we should spend our summer vacation.
[06:56] ---
    What do you think?
[06:59] ---
    What is this supposed to be?
[07:00] ---
    It's a schedule of how we'll spend
    the rest of our short summer vacation.
[07:04] ---
    A schedule for who?
[07:05] ---
    For us!
[07:07] ---
    I realized that we only have
    two weeks of summer vacation left.
[07:09] ---
    That fact blew me away.
[07:11] ---
    We still have so much left to do,
    but we've only got this much time left!
[07:17] ---
    We're going to pick up the pace!
[07:19] ---
    All this, in just two weeks?
[07:21] ---
    Is there anything else you want to do, Mikuru?
[07:23] ---
    Umm... I'd like to try goldfish scooping.
[07:27] ---
    Okay! Goldfish scooping...
[07:32] ---
    Pardon me for a moment.
[07:37] ---
    Thank you.
[07:38] ---
    We're starting tomorrow!
[07:40] ---
    Is there a place nearby having a Bon festival?
[07:43] ---
    A fireworks show works, too.
[07:45] ---
    At least try to find this stuff out first.
[07:47] ---
    I'll check around.
    I'll contact you when I find out.
[07:51] ---
    Okay, I'll leave it to you, Koizumi.
[07:56] ---
    All right, then, we're done for today!
[08:03] ---
    Nagato.
[08:08] ---
    Umm... no, it's nothing important.
[08:11] ---
    How have you been? Everything fine?
[08:13] ---
    Fine.
[08:14] ---
    That's good to hear.
[08:17] ---
    Right.
[08:19] ---
    Umm...
[08:23] ---
    Sorry for stopping you. You can go now.
[08:32] ---
    What the heck? Why did I talk to her?
[08:42] ---
    Koizumi was able to suddenly find a place
    that was holding a Bon festival the next day.
[08:47] ---
    Wow, so this is one of
    this era's summer attractions.
[08:53] ---
    I guess it makes sense
    for there to be this many people.
[09:05] ---
    Mikuru! They have goldfish
    scooping, just like you wanted!
[09:08] ---
    All the fish you can catch,
    and all the scoops you can break!
[09:11] ---
    You're not supposed to break them.
[09:16] ---
    You're interested in that stuff?
[09:18] ---
    Which one?
[09:19] ---
    It's all right.
[09:20] ---
    This one.
[09:21] ---
    Thanks, that'll be 800 yen.
[09:27] ---
    Thank you much.
[09:28] ---
    I kind of got the feeling
[09:29] ---
    that Nagato had been helping us out,
[09:30] ---
    so I thought it would be appropriate
    for me to at least buy her that, but...
[09:34] ---
    Wow, what a haul!
[09:36] ---
    But I don't need so many,
    so I just kept one for each of us.
[09:40] ---
    Now then, next up is fireworks!
[09:42] ---
    Let's launch some fireworks to end the day!
[09:44] ---
    Don't you understand
    the concept of getting tired?
[09:46] ---
    Well, I guess you could say
    that one of Haruhi's good points
[09:49] ---
    is that she's healthy and got a lot of stamina.
[09:58] ---
    Jeez, she's always so reckless!
[10:01] ---
    It was summer, and summer vacation.
[10:04] ---
    That's why I wanted to forget about it,
    but there was one thing lingering in my mind.
[10:10] ---
    Tomorrow we'll be catching bugs!
[10:12] ---
    Haruhi. It's fine to want to play around,
[10:14] ---
    but are you finished
    with your summer homework?
[10:16] ---
    What? You can finish homework
    like that in just three days.
[10:20] ---
    Three days?!
[10:21] ---
    You get that stuff out of the way so you can
    have fun without having to worry about it.
[10:26] ---
    That's how you enjoy your summer vacation.
[10:29] ---
    Why is she so smart?
[10:31] ---
    It seems like the guys
    up in heaven that were divvying up
[10:33] ---
    the stats for us were pretty unfair.
[10:35] ---
    Everyone, we'll be catching bugs tomorrow!
[10:38] ---
    Whoever catches the most bugs...
[10:41] ---
    Okay, they'll get to be
    the brigade leader for a day!
[10:45] ---
    There's a title I don't want at all.
[10:47] ---
    That sounds interesting. Are any bugs okay?
[10:51] ---
    Hmm... only cicadas!
[10:53] ---
    That's it, this will be the SOS Brigade's
    Cicada Capturing Competition!
[10:59] ---
    The next day was yet again a beautiful day.
[11:00] ---
    Come back here, cicada!
[11:02] ---
    And so, as we expected,
    or something to that effect,
[11:05] ---
    the winner ended up being Haruhi.
[11:07] ---
    A catch and release attitude
    is important, right?
[11:11] ---
    If we let them go, then they
    might come back to repay us.
[11:15] ---
    If someone went back to the person
    that caught them and then just let them go,
[11:19] ---
    then I'd say they really were
    about as smart as a bug.
[11:22] ---
    There you go! Go back to the mountains!
[11:35] ---
    W-Welcome!
[11:38] ---
    The next day, we had a part-time job
    that our brigade leader had procured for us.
[11:42] ---
    Here you are.
[11:44] ---
    Here...
[11:45] ---
    Can I have one?
[11:46] ---
    Here you go.
[11:47] ---
    Thanks!
[11:48] ---
    Wearing a costume in heat like this
    isn't a job, it's an endurance competition.
[11:56] ---
    I said, our payment is Mikuru's costume.
[11:59] ---
    I've wanted this for a while.
[12:03] ---
    The owner said that he'd
    give it to us for Mikuru's sake.
[12:06] ---
    We worked, sweat pouring
    down our foreheads, for that?
[12:09] ---
    Let's hang this frog up
    in the clubroom as a memento.
[12:12] ---
    Mikuru, you can wear it whenever
    you want. You have my permission!
[12:31] ---
    Damn it...
[12:34] ---
    Hello?
[12:39] ---
    Kyon...
[12:41] ---
    Hello? Miss Asahina?
[12:43] ---
    Yes, it's me...
[12:45] ---
    Something... very not good has...
[12:48] ---
    At this rate, I...
[12:50] ---
    Is this really Miss Asahina?
[12:52] ---
    Oh, hello, this is Koizumi.
[12:54] ---
    Why are you with Miss Asahina at this hour?
[12:56] ---
    Certain circumstances came up.
    Quite alarming ones, at that.
[13:00] ---
    We've got an emergency situation.
[13:05] ---
    Sorry to call you out so late at night.
[13:07] ---
    What in the world happened, Miss Asahina?
    I'm going to kill you, Koizumi.
[13:11] ---
    Kyon...
[13:15] ---
    I... can't go back to the future...
[13:25] ---
    Well... because of "classified information,"
    I'm always contacting the future
[13:29] ---
    and "classified information" -ing,
[13:32] ---
    but I hadn't received any
    "classified information"
[13:35] ---
    for about a week or so,
    and I thought, "that's strange."
[13:38] ---
    And so I "classified information"...
[13:40] ---
    I was so surprised, I tried to
    "classified information,"
[13:45] ---
    but it was completely "classified information."
[13:48] ---
    Oh, what do I do?
[13:52] ---
    Could it be that your "classified information" s
[13:54] ---
    are things that cannot be said on television?
[13:57] ---
    In other words, this is what's going on.
[13:59] ---
    We are going through
    an eternal loop of the same time period.
[14:03] ---
    To be precise, we've been repeating
    the time from August 17th to the 31st.
[14:08] ---
    This world has lost all time
    after September 1st.
[14:12] ---
    It's natural that Miss Asahina
    cannot go back to the future.
[14:16] ---
    The future itself no longer exists.
[14:18] ---
    What's natural about there being
    no future? Who'd believe it?
[14:22] ---
    We'd like for you to believe it.
[14:25] ---
    They say that the believers will be saved,
[14:28] ---
    but I've yet to be saved
    from a hardship, even once.
[14:31] ---
    So, what's the culprit?
[14:34] ---
    You really don't know?
[14:36] ---
    I don't want to.
[14:39] ---
    I would guess Miss Suzumiya.
[14:43] ---
    I'm sure she doesn't realize it,
    but I would guess that
[14:46] ---
    somewhere inside of her is a desire
    to not let summer vacation end.
[14:51] ---
    What the heck? Do you mean
    she feels regret over something?
[14:54] ---
    That's what I believe.
[14:56] ---
    Perhaps she feels that there's
    something left that she wants to do
[14:59] ---
    during our summer vacation.
[15:01] ---
    Man, the hopeless situations
    she causes unfold on a galactic scale.
[15:07] ---
    Well, with this,
    we've finally been able to solve
[15:09] ---
    the recent mysterious
    and frequent feelings of déjà vu.
[15:12] ---
    You've been having them, too?
    Then is it possible that other people...
[15:17] ---
    It doesn't seem that way.
[15:19] ---
    It appears that the people
    who are closest to Miss Suzumiya
[15:22] ---
    are able to sense this strangeness.
[15:25] ---
    However, I believe that there is
    one person who remembers everything,
[15:30] ---
    more than the déjà vu that we do.
[15:34] ---
    And who would that be?
[15:36] ---
    I think you already know.
[15:41] ---
    Is that right?
[15:42] ---
    It is.
[15:43] ---
    You remember all of it?
[15:45] ---
    Right.
[15:46] ---
    So, how many times have we
    repeated all of this, this time?
[15:51] ---
    This is the 15,532nd time.
[16:02] ---
    15,532?
[16:05] ---
    Nagato, what are you saying?
[16:09] ---
    Are you serious?
[16:11] ---
    I am.
[16:12] ---
    You're saying that we've done
    the exact same things that many times?
[16:17] ---
    They're not all guaranteed to happen.
[16:20] ---
    Out of 15,532 repetitions,
    there are two occasions,
[16:25] ---
    #2,391 and ♪11,054,
    where we did not go to a Bon festival.
[16:29] ---
    A pattern where we did go to a Bon festival,
[16:31] ---
    but did not go to a goldfish
    scooping stand, occurred 437 times.
[16:34] ---
    We've had a part-time job 9,056 times,
[16:37] ---
    and when we did, there were
    six different kinds of jobs.
[16:39] ---
    In addition to handing out balloons,
    we also worked as movers,
[16:41] ---
    cashiers, we handed out flyers, call center...
[16:43] ---
    No! That's enough...
[16:51] ---
    This is the 15,532nd time,
    that's what Nagato said.
[16:56] ---
    Times two weeks, hmm,
    that's around 595 years.
[17:01] ---
    She alone has memories of all that time,
[17:05] ---
    repeating it all over and over...
[17:09] ---
    Nagato, how must it feel to experience
    that same period of time over and over again?
[17:21] ---
    I've heard yet another crazy story.
[17:29] ---
    The next day we went stargazing.
[17:33] ---
    The location was Nagato's apartment.
[17:35] ---
    Haruhi was looking through
    the telescope at first, but...
[17:43] ---
    Exactly what does she want to do?
[17:45] ---
    Now what could that be?
[17:47] ---
    If we could figure that out,
    this would all be solved...
[17:52] ---
    How about trying this out?
[17:54] ---
    Give Miss Suzumiya
    a sudden embrace from behind
[17:57] ---
    then whisper "I love you" into her ear.
[18:00] ---
    And who would be doing that?
[18:01] ---
    Is there anyone else who could
    fill the role other than you?
[18:04] ---
    It's my turn! I activate The Veto.
[18:07] ---
    All right, how about if I do it?
[18:18] ---
    I'm kidding. I'm lacking
    a certain something for the role.
[18:21] ---
    And all that would do is cause
    unnecessary confusion in Miss Suzumiya.
[18:33] ---
    We continued to run through
    a torrent of summer vacation events.
[18:37] ---
    We went to a real fireworks show,
[18:40] ---
    and we even took part
    in a goby fishing tournament.
[18:42] ---
    We also had a test of courage,
    watched some movies,
[18:45] ---
    went to the beach, went bowling,
    and even sang karaoke.
[18:48] ---
    We were always doing something.
[18:51] ---
    Of course, I knew that
    this wasn't going to satisfy Haruhi.
[18:55] ---
    Even so, there wasn't
    anything I could do about it,
[18:58] ---
    and the last days of our
    summer vacation ticked away.
[19:03] ---
    And so we ended up at August 30th...
[19:12] ---
    With this, we've finished everything on our list.
[19:20] ---
    I wonder if this was good enough.
[19:25] ---
    But, hmm, well... I guess this works.
[19:28] ---
    Hey, is there anything else you want to do?
[19:42] ---
    That's fine, then.
[19:43] ---
    We were able to do a lot this summer,
    so that's enough, right?
[19:47] ---
    No, it's not. You're still not satisfied.
[19:53] ---
    Okay, we're done for today.
[19:55] ---
    I had tomorrow set aside just in case,
    but you can just take the day off.
[19:59] ---
    Let's meet again in the clubroom
    the day after tomorrow.
[20:01] ---
    W-Wait, Haruhi...
[20:07] ---
    T-There it is again!
    And it's stronger than ever before!
[20:11] ---
    It's proof that we've done all this
    tens of thousands of times.
[20:15] ---
    I can't let Haruhi leave.
[20:17] ---
    If she goes, we'll end up
    repeating these past two weeks again.
[20:21] ---
    But what should I do?
[20:23] ---
    There must have been a hint
    somewhere in what Haruhi said.
[20:26] ---
    What? What? What?
[20:28] ---
    Remember. You've got to remember.
[20:30] ---
    It's something I'm worried about,
    but I'm putting off...
[20:33] ---
    If I don't do something,
    she'll go home. I can't let it happen.
[20:37] ---
    If I do, nothing will change.
[20:38] ---
    What have we done up to this point?
[20:41] ---
    What didn't we do?
[20:44] ---
    There's no time to think.
    It doesn't matter if it doesn't work,
[20:48] ---
    just say something, anything!
[21:06] ---
    I still have something I want to do!
[21:18] ---
    That's right, homework!
[21:19] ---
    What are you talking about?
[21:21] ---
    I haven't done a single bit
    of my summer homework.
[21:24] ---
    Until I do, my summer isn't over!
[21:27] ---
    Are you stupid or something?
[21:28] ---
    Koizumi! Are you finished yet?
[21:30] ---
    No, I'm only halfway done because
    we were rushing around so much.
[21:33] ---
    Then let's work on it together.
[21:35] ---
    Nagato, you come over, too.
    You're still not done yet, right?
[21:37] ---
    Miss Asahina, please come, too.
[21:39] ---
    What? But where?
[21:41] ---
    Let's do this at my house.
[21:42] ---
    Bring all of your notebooks and textbooks,
    and let's do it all together.
[21:47] ---
    We're going to finish off
    all of our summer activities.
[21:49] ---
    Nagato, Koizumi, let me copy
    the stuff you've finished.
[21:52] ---
    Right.
[21:53] ---
    All right, we're starting tomorrow morning.
[21:56] ---
    We're going to do what we can in one day!
[21:58] ---
    Wait right there.
[22:04] ---
    Don't you just make a decision like that!
[22:06] ---
    I'm the leader. At times like this,
    you need to ask my opinion first.
[22:10] ---
    Kyon, acting without
    my permission is against the rules!
[22:21] ---
    I'm going too!
[22:58] ---
    It looks like I hit the jackpot.
[23:01] ---
    Miss Suzumiya is a smart and talented person.
[23:04] ---
    She's probably always been that way.
[23:07] ---
    So she probably never considered the idea
[23:10] ---
    that summer homework could be a burden.
[23:13] ---
    And so she probably never had to
    divide work up with her friends.
[23:22] ---
    It was the first day of the term,
    so I could have gone home,
[23:25] ---
    but I ended up coming here,
[23:27] ---
    and so here I sit with Koizumi,
    who showed up in the same way.
[23:31] ---
    Frighteningly, yet importantly,
    Nagato wasn't there.
[23:35] ---
    You couldn't see it on her face,
    but she might have been exhausted.
[23:42] ---
    The idea that we experienced the latter half
    of August tens of thousands of times
[23:45] ---
    feels like it was all made up.
[23:48] ---
    I don't blame you for feeling that way.
[23:51] ---
    The "us" of here and now
    don't share any memories
[23:54] ---
    with the "us" that experienced
    the sequence of the previous 15,531 times.
[23:58] ---
    This is because the 15,532nd time around,
[24:01] ---
    we were able to return
    to the normal flow of time.
[24:06] ---
    How about a game of poker?
[24:09] ---
    Sure thing. I don't have any money, though.
[24:12] ---
    Then we'll play for fun.
[24:15] ---
    But I did get a hint.
[24:17] ---
    That repeated déjà vu. Especially the last one,
[24:21] ---
    it might have been sent from
    the previous versions of ourselves.
[24:26] ---
    I can be here, now,
[24:28] ---
    thanks to the "us" that went through
    those two weeks beforehand.
[24:32] ---
    If I don't think of it that way,
[24:34] ---
    then it would be like me saying that
    all of the summers that they went through,
[24:37] ---
    with Haruhi treating them
    like they didn't exist, were for nothing.
[24:44] ---
    Want any new cards?
[24:45] ---
    Nope.
[24:46] ---
    Me either.
[24:48] ---
    If I had the chance to redo this day...
[24:54] ---
    ...I'd like to remember
    to play this hand for money.
[24:58] ---
    

E20 - The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya Part One
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:23] ---
    Next up is the inter-club relay race.
[00:26] ---
    On your mark! Get set!
[00:38] ---
    Here I go!
[00:43] ---
    Billionaire
[00:44] ---
    Here.
[00:45] ---
    Indian sum-
[00:50] ---
    Darn it, I wanted to come up
    from behind and pass everyone at the end,
[00:54] ---
    but thanks to Yuki, we just blew them all away.
[00:58] ---
    It was a beautiful run.
[00:58] ---
    To all times and places
[01:01] ---
    I just hope that the track team doesn't
    lose their confidence because of it.
[01:04] ---
    This isn't funny.
[01:04] ---
    In the nick of time
[01:07] ---
    Because of this, people are going to think
    we're even weirder than they did before.
[01:10] ---
    Though it might be
    kind of late for that to matter.
[01:13] ---
    I suppose that there's
    no need to explain that our outfits
[01:16] ---
    and the four character phrases
[01:16] ---
    Unexplored area
[01:17] ---
    we have on our headbands are all Haruhi's idea.
[01:21] ---
    What the heck is this supposed to mean?
[01:23] ---
    So, is it okay to get changed out of this?
[01:30] ---
    And as usual, you guys are just so weird.
[01:34] ---
    You and Miss Suzumiya's merry little band.
[01:37] ---
    Cut it out. I'm trying to
    live my life as quietly as I can.
[01:41] ---
    Well, you did run in that outfit.
[01:45] ---
    It was hard to run in, too.
[01:47] ---
    That's not the problem.
[01:49] ---
    That's sure to be in the graduation album.
    I'm looking forward to it.
[01:53] ---
    Cut me a break.
[01:59] ---
    What?
[01:59] ---
    Creepy!
[02:02] ---
    Did you see her?
    The one with the ponytail is cute.
[02:06] ---
    Our seemingly endless
    summer vacation finally ended,
[02:09] ---
    and even though the
    second term had only just begun,
[02:11] ---
    we're already in the midst
    of our school's field day.
[02:14] ---
    You could tell just by
    looking at us that there was no way
[02:17] ---
    that Haruhi was going to sit still
    on a day as beautiful as today.
[02:21] ---
    In any case, Haruhi seems
    to love festival events.
[02:35] ---
    Day by day, everything's just so dull
[02:40] ---
    That's why you need to become
    someone that can just reject it all
[02:45] ---
    Oh my boy, you need to be decisive
[02:49] ---
    I won't deal with any lies
    in this small world
[02:55] ---
    I found myself on my own,
    it's natural you'd fall for me
[03:00] ---
    Kick away the boring ways of doing things,
[03:02] ---
    I'm going to decide everything
[03:06] ---
    I say, I say my heaven
[03:09] ---
    Super driver, leave everything to the rush
[03:11] ---
    And just keep going forward, no matter what
[03:13] ---
    Surpass (Don't you stop me)
    The idea of "impossible"
[03:17] ---
    Take it easy, go!
[03:18] ---
    I agree, it's going to be a huge victory
[03:20] ---
    Of course, it'll feel pleasant,
    no matter what happens
[03:23] ---
    A review meeting? (Get back to wild)
    Forget that, now hurry up
[03:28] ---
    We haven't tried this or that,
    we always do things how we want
[03:33] ---
    Everything's a new experience,
    let's try them out
[03:38] ---
    We haven't tried this or that,
    we always do things suddenly
[03:43] ---
    Everything's a new experience,
    what about it?
[03:48] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
[03:56] ---
    And so, our crazy field day ended.
[04:00] ---
    We had just started a new month,
[04:02] ---
    and already the school festival
    was waiting for us.
[04:05] ---
    Right now, our prefectural
    high school is preparing for it.
[04:10] ---
    By the way, the class that Haruhi and I are in,
[04:13] ---
    the fifth of the sophomore classes,
[04:13] ---
    Regarding the school festival
[04:16] ---
    had decided to wave our hands
[04:17] ---
    Announce the results of a survey
[04:18] ---
    and go with the half-assed idea
    of announcing the results of a survey.
[04:21] ---
    Ever since Ryoko Asakura left
    at the beginning of spring,
[04:24] ---
    no one's been crazy enough to try
    and take leadership of the class.
[04:30] ---
    We're going, Kyon.
[04:35] ---
    And so today, with a level of
    disinterest bordering on apathy,
[04:39] ---
    I once again popped on over to the clubroom.
[04:42] ---
    Why?
[04:43] ---
    The reason was because
    the girl striding boldly beside me
[04:46] ---
    said the following, and for no other reason.
[04:49] ---
    Announcing the results of a survey?
    How dumb can you get?
[04:52] ---
    What's fun about that? I don't get it at all!
[04:58] ---
    Then you should have spoken up earlier.
[05:01] ---
    You saw the troubled look
    on Mr. Okabe's face,
[05:03] ---
    Regarding the school festival
[05:03] ---
    while the class was acting like we were at a wake.
[05:07] ---
    Whatever.
[05:08] ---
    I wasn't planning on taking part
    in whatever the class did anyways.
[05:13] ---
    And yet it would seem
    that you had something to do
[05:16] ---
    with our class winning the field day.
[05:19] ---
    You took part in most of the track-related
    competitions and won all of them, right?
[05:24] ---
    Or was that someone else?
[05:27] ---
    This and that are two different things.
[05:29] ---
    This is the school festival we're talking about!
[05:30] ---
    It's the one vitally important
    super event that we get in a year.
[05:34] ---
    Is that so?
[05:36] ---
    It is! We're going to do
    something really exciting!
[05:40] ---
    As she said that, Haruhi's face
    looked like Hannibal's
[05:43] ---
    as he crossed the Alps
    during the Second Punic War.
[05:47] ---
    Confident and shining bright.
[05:50] ---
    The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya I
[05:54] ---
    This is the school festival!
    You need to be more excited about it!
[06:00] ---
    A sophomore's school festival
    only happens once a year, right?
[06:04] ---
    Well, yeah. But it's no reason
    to get so riled up about it.
[06:08] ---
    But it is! There's no point if you don't.
[06:12] ---
    Almost all of the school festivals
    I know have been like that.
[06:15] ---
    Did you have a really big
    school festival at your junior high?
[06:19] ---
    Not at all. They weren't exciting at all.
[06:22] ---
    That's why my
    high school festivals have to be.
[06:26] ---
    And what would make it exciting for you?
[06:29] ---
    Please explain it in a way that I'll understand.
[06:34] ---
    All right, then.
[06:36] ---
    I'll tell you in full detail
    when we get to the clubroom.
[06:44] ---
    Hmm, the scent of lavender.
[06:45] ---
    Oh, hello.
[06:47] ---
    Oh, I thought the flowers were blooming.
[06:49] ---
    I'll bring some tea right away.
[06:50] ---
    Oh, don't trouble yourself...
[06:51] ---
    You look like a dirty old man.
[06:55] ---
    Mikuru, where's Koizumi?
[06:57] ---
    He's not here yet.
    He does seem to be a bit late.
[07:04] ---
    Mikuru, how much longer on the tea?
[07:06] ---
    I'm bringing it now!
[07:12] ---
    Mikuru.
[07:13] ---
    Yes?
[07:14] ---
    I think I told you before.
    Don't you remember?
[07:17] ---
    Huh? Remember what?
[07:20] ---
    When you serve tea, you need to
    trip and stumble one third of the time.
[07:26] ---
    You're not acting like a klutzy maid at all!
[07:29] ---
    Oh... s-sorry!
[07:31] ---
    Does she think a maid needs to be klutzy
    so they can be scolded or something?
[07:35] ---
    Well, you're in luck, Mikuru.
    You can practice on Kyon.
[07:39] ---
    Try to get it so that the cup
    lands upside-down on his head!
[07:43] ---
    Miss Asahina, only someone like Haruhi
    would laugh at a joke like that.
[07:47] ---
    Please figure that out already.
[07:49] ---
    Hey dummy, I'm not joking!
    I'm always serious!
[07:54] ---
    We're in big trouble if that's the case.
[07:56] ---
    All right, then. I'll show you,
    and then you try, Mikuru.
[08:12] ---
    Hey.
[08:13] ---
    Wait.
[08:17] ---
    Hey! Stop interfering!
[08:19] ---
    Interfere? Who in the world
    would just stand by
[08:23] ---
    while someone else tried to
    pour boiling water on their head?
[08:37] ---
    Here you are.
[08:43] ---
    You should be happy, Nagato.
[08:45] ---
    Taniguchi would spend
    three days drinking that.
[08:50] ---
    I'm sorry, homeroom ran a bit late.
[08:54] ---
    If our meeting had to be delayed
    because of that, I apologize.
[08:57] ---
    Meeting? What are you talking about?
[09:00] ---
    I forgot to mention it to you,
    though I told everyone else during lunch.
[09:04] ---
    I figured I could tell you any old time.
[09:06] ---
    Why is it that you had the time
    to go to their classrooms,
[09:09] ---
    but you couldn't be bothered to tell
    the guy who sits right in front of you?
[09:13] ---
    It doesn't matter.
    The problem isn't when you found out,
[09:17] ---
    it's what we're going to do about it.
[09:19] ---
    Was that supposed to be profound?
[09:20] ---
    More importantly, we need to
    think about what we're going to do.
[09:24] ---
    Present tense or future tense. Choose one.
[09:27] ---
    On top of that, decide if you're going to use
    the singular or the plural for the subject!
[09:30] ---
    We're all going to participate, of course.
    This is an SOS Brigade event, after all.
[09:34] ---
    By which you mean?
[09:36] ---
    I said this earlier. What else is there
    besides the school festival?
[09:41] ---
    In that case, that's a school-wide event,
    not just a Brigade event.
[09:44] ---
    If you're so hot on being
    featured in the school festival,
[09:47] ---
    you should have applied
    to be a festival staff member.
[09:49] ---
    They probably can use
    all the help they can get.
[09:52] ---
    There's no point to that.
[09:54] ---
    We have to do something
    suitable for the SOS Brigade.
[09:58] ---
    We've come this far, after all!
[10:00] ---
    We're a super prominent group that
    the whole school is aware of, you know.
[10:03] ---
    Get it?
[10:05] ---
    It's easy for you, since all you're doing
    is blathering on about your own plans,
[10:09] ---
    but what about all of the suffering
    that Miss Asahina and I have to endure?
[10:12] ---
    Koizumi just sits there, smiling away,
[10:14] ---
    and Nagato doesn't help
    with the brainstorming,
[10:18] ---
    so it'd be nice if she thought about
    a normal guy like me once in a while.
[10:21] ---
    We have to do something
    that lives up to their expectations.
[10:25] ---
    Who in the world has
    any expectations for the SOS Brigade?
[10:29] ---
    Now there's a survey that should be held.
[10:31] ---
    What's your class doing, Mikuru?
[10:33] ---
    Umm, my class?
    We're opening a yakisoba café...
[10:37] ---
    You're going to be a waitress, I'll bet.
[10:39] ---
    How did you know?
    Everyone said I should, so...
[10:50] ---
    What about yours, Koizumi?
[10:52] ---
    Well, we've decided to hold a play.
[10:55] ---
    But we're still discussing if we'll
    do a classical play or something original.
[10:58] ---
    Now there's a class with some spirit.
[11:02] ---
    It seems like that'd be
    kind of annoying, though.
[11:05] ---
    What about you, Yuki?
[11:07] ---
    Fortune telling.
[11:07] ---
    Fortune telling?
[11:09] ---
    Yes.
[11:11] ---
    Nagato is going to tell people's fortunes?
    Are you sure you don't mean "predicting"?
[11:16] ---
    How about this?
[11:18] ---
    Let's combine it all and have a theater café
    where you take fortune telling surveys.
[11:22] ---
    Stop with the foolishness,
    and let's get this meeting started.
[11:37] ---
    There's nothing written yet,
    so where should we look?
[11:40] ---
    We're going to start writing now.
[11:42] ---
    Mikuru, you're the secretary,
    so be sure to write everything down.
[11:46] ---
    Okay!
[11:48] ---
    I don't know when
    Miss Asahina became our secretary.
[11:51] ---
    No one does, because Haruhi
    probably decided that just now.
[12:03] ---
    We, the SOS Brigade,
    are going to hold a movie showing!
[12:13] ---
    I don't know what goes on
    inside of Haruhi's head.
[12:18] ---
    Never mind that.
    This is normal for her. But...
[12:22] ---
    How is this a meeting? This is
    more like you giving a policy speech.
[12:27] ---
    This is normal for us.
[12:29] ---
    Whoa, close!
[12:30] ---
    It looks like Miss Suzumiya had decided
    what we were going to do from the start.
[12:34] ---
    It doesn't look like
    there's any room for negotiation.
[12:36] ---
    Still, I wonder why a movie.
[12:39] ---
    She probably saw some C-movie late last night
[12:42] ---
    and it left her in a dreary mood or something.
[12:47] ---
    There's something I've always wondered about.
[12:50] ---
    I wonder about the inside of your head.
[12:53] ---
    On TV dramas, someone usually
    dies in the last episode.
[12:56] ---
    Doesn't that seem really unnatural?
[12:58] ---
    Why do they die
    with such good timing? It's weird.
[13:02] ---
    That's why I hate shows
    where someone dies at the end.
[13:07] ---
    I would never shoot a movie like that!
[13:14] ---
    SOS Brigade: Movie showing
[13:16] ---
    That's what I mean. Understand?
[13:19] ---
    What do you mean, "That's what I mean"?
[13:21] ---
    All we know is that we're showing a movie.
    How are we going to pay for it?
[13:24] ---
    Kyon, you need some more smarts.
[13:27] ---
    We're going to make the movie
    and then show it at the school festival.
[13:33] ---
    And the credits will read
    "Presented by the SOS Brigade"!
[13:36] ---
    When did we become the Movie Club?
[13:38] ---
    What are you talking about?
    We'll always be the SOS Brigade.
[13:42] ---
    We haven't turned into the Movie Club.
[13:44] ---
    Okay, I understand.
[13:46] ---
    We're going to shoot a movie
    of our own creation,
[13:49] ---
    and then show it to the school. Is that right?
[13:53] ---
    That's it!
[13:54] ---
    But... why a movie?
[13:57] ---
    Last night, I had some trouble sleeping.
[14:02] ---
    When I turned the TV on,
    there was a weird movie on.
[14:04] ---
    I thought so.
[14:05] ---
    And it was such a pathetic movie.
[14:09] ---
    It was so bad that I thought about
    internationally crank-calling the director.
[14:13] ---
    Then I thought,
    "I can make a better movie than this!"
[14:19] ---
    And so I figured we should go for it.
[14:23] ---
    If you want to be a director
    or a producer, that's fine.
[14:29] ---
    Then we can do whatever we want, right?
[14:31] ---
    What are you talking about?
[14:33] ---
    What would you do if we said
    that we didn't want to do that?
[14:36] ---
    You can't make a movie with just a director.
[14:38] ---
    Don't worry, I've already
    got a script mostly done.
[14:41] ---
    No, that's not what I'm talking about.
[14:44] ---
    There's nothing to worry about.
    Just follow my lead, same as always.
[14:49] ---
    There's absolutely no need to worry.
[14:51] ---
    I'm worried.
[14:52] ---
    Leave the planning to me.
    I'll take care of all of it.
[14:55] ---
    Now I'm really worried.
[14:56] ---
    Man, you're so annoying.
    I said we're doing it, so we're doing it.
[15:00] ---
    We're aiming to be voted
    the best event of the school festival.
[15:04] ---
    If we do, then even the stupid
    student council will finally
[15:06] ---
    recognize the SOS Brigade as a club.
[15:09] ---
    No! We're going to make them recognize us.
[15:11] ---
    First we need to get the public on our side!
[15:14] ---
    How are we going to pay for this?
[15:16] ---
    We have funds.
[15:17] ---
    Where?
[15:19] ---
    We have the money that
    they gave the Literature Club.
[15:21] ---
    Then that's the Literature Club's funds.
    It's not for you to use.
[15:25] ---
    But Yuki said it's okay.
[15:35] ---
    I did.
[15:38] ---
    Okay, everyone!
[15:40] ---
    This is more important than
    whatever your classes are doing!
[15:42] ---
    I'll listen to any opposing opinions
    after the school festival.
[15:45] ---
    Got it? The director's orders are absolute!
[15:48] ---
    First brigade leader, and now director?
[15:50] ---
    What's she planning to become in the end?
    Please don't say "god" or something.
[15:55] ---
    Okay, we're done for today!
[15:57] ---
    I've got a lot to think about,
    since I'm the producer!
[16:02] ---
    I'll tell you the details tomorrow.
[16:09] ---
    Well, this is good.
[16:11] ---
    I'm relieved that it's not something like
    capturing an alien to put it in a sideshow,
[16:15] ---
    or shooting down a UFO and then
    making an exhibit of its internal structures.
[16:21] ---
    Besides, I'm interested in seeing what kind
    of movie Miss Suzumiya wants to make.
[16:26] ---
    It looks like this will be
    quite an interesting school festival.
[16:28] ---
    Quite interesting indeed.
[16:34] ---
    D-Do you need something?
[16:36] ---
    Oh, nothing.
[16:38] ---
    I was just wondering what costume
    Haruhi is going to bring next.
[16:48] ---
    Still... a movie...
[16:52] ---
    A movie, huh?
[16:54] ---
    To be honest,
    I was kind of interested in it, too.
[16:57] ---
    Though not as much as Koizumi.
[16:59] ---
    It might be better if I was
    looking forward to it more, though.
[17:06] ---
    After all, there probably isn't
    going to be anyone that will be.
[17:11] ---
    I take back what I said.
[17:13] ---
    I shouldn't have looked forward to it at all.
[17:16] ---
    After school the next day,
    I ended up with a frown on my face.
[17:22] ---
    General Commander, General Director,
    Producer, Writer: Haruhi Suzumiya
[17:24] ---
    Lead actress: Mikuru Asahina
    Lead actor: Itsuki Koizumi
[17:26] ---
    Supporting actress: Yuki Nagato
[17:26] ---
    Assistant Director, Photography, Editor,
    Gofer, Assistant, Errand boy, Quartermaster,
[17:30] ---
    Everything else: Kyon
[17:34] ---
    So what am I supposed to do?
[17:37] ---
    Just as it's written on there.
[17:38] ---
    I'm the heroine?
[17:41] ---
    Umm, if it's possible,
    I'd like to have a less prominent role...
[17:45] ---
    No way! We're going to
    have you play a really flashy role.
[17:48] ---
    You're kind of like
    our Brigade's trademark, after all.
[17:51] ---
    You might want to practice your autograph.
[17:54] ---
    When we have our premier showing,
    I'm sure that people will want it.
[17:58] ---
    Where are you planning on holding that?
[18:00] ---
    But I can't act.
[18:03] ---
    It's all right. I'll be sure
    to give you perfect direction.
[18:08] ---
    Oh, but Yuki and Koizumi don't seem
    to be very serious about this.
[18:11] ---
    I told them this took priority.
[18:13] ---
    I guess I'll have to give them a mild warning
    for showing up late because of their classes.
[18:17] ---
    I think it's stranger that
    Miss Asahina and I are here, right now.
[18:22] ---
    Is it okay for you to not participate
    in your class's meeting, Miss Asahina?
[18:26] ---
    Yes. I'm just going to be a waitress,
    so I just need to get sized for my outfit.
[18:32] ---
    I wonder what the outfit is going to be like.
[18:34] ---
    I'm kind of looking forward to it.
[18:35] ---
    The slightly embarrassed smile
    on Miss Asahina's face
[18:37] ---
    seems to point to her
    being used to cosplay now.
[18:40] ---
    It's probably better that she'll be wearing
    the proper outfit for the proper place
[18:43] ---
    instead of wearing these
    pointless costumes for the SOS Brigade.
[18:47] ---
    Oh, if you want to be
    a waitress that badly, Mikuru,
[18:51] ---
    I'll bring some costumes for you.
[18:53] ---
    Well, never mind that.
[18:55] ---
    By the way Kyon, what do you think
    is necessary to make a movie?
[19:05] ---
    I guess it would be an original idea
    and an untiring passion to create.
[19:09] ---
    A camera, of course. How can we
    shoot a movie without equipment?
[19:13] ---
    I don't need an abstract answer like that.
[19:16] ---
    That might be true, but I didn't want to
    give such a matter-of-fact answer... oh well.
[19:21] ---
    And that's why we're going
    to go get a video camera.
[19:27] ---
    Oh, M-M-Miss Suzumiya,
    now that you mention it,
[19:31] ---
    there's something I need to do,
    so I need to go back to my class--
[19:34] ---
    Quiet.
[19:37] ---
    Don't worry.
[19:38] ---
    You've never once said, "Don't worry"
    when we didn't actually have to worry.
[19:42] ---
    We're not going to use your body
    to pay for what we need this time.
[19:46] ---
    I just need your help, is all.
[19:51] ---
    Tell us how she's supposed to help!
[19:53] ---
    If you don't, then Miss Asahina and I
    are not budging from these seats.
[19:56] ---
    We're going to look for sponsors.
[19:58] ---
    It would give them a better idea of what
    we're doing if we brought the star, right?
[20:01] ---
    You're coming, too, to carry the stuff.
[20:09] ---
    It's supposed to be autumn,
    but it's not very cool at all.
[20:14] ---
    It looks like the earth has finally gone stupid,
[20:16] ---
    and it forgot to have autumn come to Japan.
[20:28] ---
    After we came down the mountain,
    we got on a local train for a private train line,
[20:32] ---
    and took it three stops.
[20:33] ---
    We went to a place not too far
    from the area with the cherry trees
[20:38] ---
    that Miss Asahina and I
    walked along not too long ago.
[20:45] ---
    Iwaigawa Shopping Strip
[20:48] ---
    Here we are.
[20:49] ---
    I see.
[20:50] ---
    Ohmori Electronics
[20:51] ---
    It looks like she's planning on
[20:52] ---
    getting our filming equipment from here.
[20:56] ---
    But how?
[20:58] ---
    Wait here a second. I'll go talk to him.
[21:02] ---
    Hold this!
[21:10] ---
    I'll probably grab Miss Asahina and bolt
[21:13] ---
    if Haruhi does anything
    that's even the slightest bit suspicious.
[21:20] ---
    Maybe I should warn the nice man...
[21:24] ---
    ...that he shouldn't nod
    at everything Haruhi says.
[21:28] ---
    I wonder what she's doing.
[21:30] ---
    She's probably asking him to lend her
[21:33] ---
    the highest-end digital handycam
    he has in the store for free.
[21:38] ---
    She's capable of saying
    something like that, after all.
[21:41] ---
    What a troublemaker.
[21:43] ---
    Haruhi believes that her own standards
    and decisions are absolute.
[21:47] ---
    And she sometimes incorrectly assumes
    that other people share her opinions.
[21:50] ---
    In fact, that's often the case.
[21:52] ---
    Which means she just doesn't get it.
[21:55] ---
    If you want to make
    faster-than-light travel possible,
[21:57] ---
    just put Haruhi on your spaceship.
[21:59] ---
    She would probably just
    ignore the laws of relativity for you.
[22:02] ---
    Oh, it looks like they've finished.
[22:06] ---
    Ta-dah!
[22:09] ---
    And with this, we've taken
    our first step. We're right on schedule.
[22:12] ---
    How did you manage to get such an
    expensive-Iooking camera for free?
[22:16] ---
    Do you have some kind of
    blackmail material on that old man?
[22:19] ---
    No way. I just explained the situation,
    and he generously donated it.
[22:23] ---
    If he gave it to you, then tell me
    what you said. I want one, too.
[22:26] ---
    It wasn't much. I said we wanted to
    shoot a film, and so he gave it to me.
[22:30] ---
    No problem.
[22:32] ---
    There may not be a problem now,
    but I have the feeling there'll be one later.
[22:36] ---
    Stop worrying so much.
[22:38] ---
    All you have to do is
    be my underling and do as I say.
[22:44] ---
    All right, let's go to the next store.
[22:53] ---
    I started to understand.
    When she pointed at us,
[22:56] ---
    Haruhi's index finger was aimed
    squarely at Miss Asahina.
[23:00] ---
    The cost of these items is going to
    determine what Miss Asahina
[23:03] ---
    is going to have to do.
[23:06] ---
    I wonder if I should tell her.
[23:08] ---
    Ta-dah!
[23:09] ---
    What do you have this time?
[23:11] ---
    Weapons.
[23:13] ---
    Here you go.
[23:14] ---
    What am I supposed to do with this?
[23:16] ---
    We're going to use them
    for our gunfight action scenes.
[23:19] ---
    Flashy gunfights are
    the basis for entertainment.
[23:22] ---
    If we can, I'd love to
    blow up an entire building.
[23:24] ---
    Do you know where
    we can get some dynamite?
[23:27] ---
    Think they sell it at the general store?
[23:29] ---
    How should I know?
[23:29] ---
    I'm pretty sure that they don't
    sell it on the internet, though.
[23:32] ---
    So what am I supposed to do with this stuff?
[23:34] ---
    Take it back to your place for now,
    and bring it to the clubroom tomorrow.
[23:38] ---
    It would be too bothersome
    to go back to school right now.
[23:40] ---
    I'm supposed to?
[23:41] ---
    Yes, you.
[23:42] ---
    It's her special SOS Brigade smile,
[23:44] ---
    the one you don't see
    in the classroom very often.
[23:46] ---
    Whenever Haruhi smiles like this,
[23:48] ---
    it means that my role in salvaging
    the impending disaster has come back.
[23:52] ---
    It feels like a reverse "Straw Millionaire."
[23:55] ---
    Umm...
[24:04] ---
    It fell from the sky
[24:07] ---
    With all of the wishes that were made upon it
[24:09] ---
    Maybe it was a little too heavy for a single star
[24:15] ---
    Something just doesn't seem right
[24:18] ---
    The image of you in my mind has vanished
[24:20] ---
    Can I say that I remember you clearly?
[24:25] ---
    Stop!
[24:26] ---
    The past belongs to me
[24:30] ---
    Of course I don't want
    to trade it with anyone else
[24:34] ---
    That's because
[24:36] ---
    It was my birthday,
    and when we saw each other
[24:41] ---
    We could see the first dream
[24:44] ---
    That we had when we were born
[24:46] ---
    Worrying about "what do I do?"
[24:51] ---
    Is laughable when I think about it now
[24:55] ---
    I've already forgotten it
[24:58] ---
    Let's search for you

E21 - The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya Part Two
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:22] ---
    What should I do?
[00:24] ---
    Oh, you don't have to do anything.
[00:27] ---
    You can go home. We're done for today.
[00:32] ---
    It looks like our Haruhi-esque
    activities are done for the day.
[00:37] ---
    She was able to get her hands
    on all of this stuff,
[00:39] ---
    and with the kind of skill that could even
    get an experienced negotiator to lean left.
[00:42] ---
    On top of that, it all cost nothing.
    In other words, it was free.
[00:45] ---
    They used to say this a lot in the old days:
[00:47] ---
    "There's nothing scarier than
    something that's free."
[00:49] ---
    The problem is that Haruhi isn't scared at all.
[00:53] ---
    Actually, if there is something that would
    scare Haruhi, please, let me know.
[01:08] ---
    Day by day, everything's just so dull
[01:13] ---
    That's why you need to become
    someone that can just reject it all
[01:18] ---
    Oh my boy, you need to be decisive
[01:22] ---
    I won't deal with any lies
    in this small world
[01:28] ---
    I found myself on my own,
    it's natural you'd fall for me
[01:33] ---
    Kick away the boring ways of doing things,
[01:35] ---
    I'm going to decide everything
[01:39] ---
    I say, I say my heaven
[01:42] ---
    Super driver, leave everything to the rush
[01:44] ---
    And just keep going forward, no matter what
[01:46] ---
    Surpass (Don't you stop me)
    The idea of "impossible"
[01:50] ---
    Take it easy, go!
[01:51] ---
    I agree, it's going to be a huge victory
[01:53] ---
    Of course, it'll feel pleasant,
    no matter what happens
[01:56] ---
    A review meeting? (Get back to wild)
    Forget that, now hurry up
[02:01] ---
    We haven't tried this or that,
    we always do things how we want
[02:06] ---
    Everything's a new experience,
    let's try them out
[02:11] ---
    We haven't tried this or that,
    we always do things suddenly
[02:16] ---
    Everything's a new experience,
    what about it?
[02:21] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
[02:29] ---
    What's all that?
    Presents for good little kids?
[02:32] ---
    What, this? Of course not.
[02:35] ---
    Oh, model guns.
    I didn't know you were into those.
[02:40] ---
    I'm not. These are Haruhi's.
[02:43] ---
    Huh, Suzumiya's... Well, it must be tough.
[02:50] ---
    By the way.
[02:52] ---
    What?
[02:53] ---
    Well, the school festival
    is coming soon, right?
[02:55] ---
    What are you guys going to do this time?
[02:58] ---
    Why ask me?
[03:00] ---
    I don't think I'd get a serious
    response if I asked Suzumiya.
[03:03] ---
    Nagato wouldn't say anything if I asked her,
[03:05] ---
    and Miss Asahina won't come near me.
[03:07] ---
    And the other guy... is kind of creepy.
[03:10] ---
    That's why I'm asking you.
[03:12] ---
    What, am I the P.R. Rep now,
    or am I just a nice guy?
[03:17] ---
    It's the latter, definitely.
[03:19] ---
    I mean, you seem like the kind of guy
    that will stick with someone,
[03:23] ---
    even if you know that the path
    you're taking is leading to a cliff.
[03:29] ---
    I'm hurt. Fine, I won't tell you
    when I find out, then.
[03:32] ---
    Hey!
[03:34] ---
    Even I know that what awaits us
    at the end of Haruhi's little path
[03:39] ---
    is going to be pointless.
[03:41] ---
    But it isn't just Haruhi and me
    walking down that path.
[03:44] ---
    There are at least three others
    coming along with us.
[03:48] ---
    I'm sure two of them would be fine
    if left to their own devices,
[03:51] ---
    but Miss Asahina would be in danger.
[03:53] ---
    For someone from the future,
    she sure doesn't seem to be able
[03:56] ---
    to predict any of the problems
    that might happen to her.
[03:59] ---
    It's obvious to me that I have to protect her.
[04:01] ---
    It's obvious to me that I have to protect her.
[04:01] ---
    The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya II
[04:10] ---
    Hurry up and get undressed! I'll help.
[04:14] ---
    O-Oh no, please, don't pull--
[04:16] ---
    Come on!
[04:22] ---
    Come in.
[04:30] ---
    Well?
[04:31] ---
    It really suits her, oddly enough.
[04:33] ---
    I thought that it was
    of Caean make or something.
[04:35] ---
    Hello!
[04:36] ---
    Oh, excuse me.
[04:38] ---
    Oh my. That looks quite good on you.
[04:41] ---
    You can tell that just by looking at her.
[04:43] ---
    What I can't tell is
    why there's a waitress in here,
[04:47] ---
    since this isn't a café or anything.
[04:49] ---
    Well, you see...
[04:50] ---
    Mikuru is going to wear
    this costume in the movie!
[04:55] ---
    Is her usual maid outfit not good enough?
[04:58] ---
    Of course not.
[04:59] ---
    A maid is a person that gives private service
    to someone in a mansion somewhere.
[05:04] ---
    But waitresses are different.
[05:06] ---
    They work at restaurants where they
    provide their services to the public.
[05:09] ---
    That's no reason to
    put Miss Asahina in this outfit.
[05:14] ---
    Never mind the details!
    This is just a question of atmosphere.
[05:19] ---
    And it's fine with me!
[05:21] ---
    Even if it's fine with you,
    is it fine with Miss Asahina?
[05:23] ---
    Umm...
[05:24] ---
    T-This feels like it's a bit small for me...
[05:29] ---
    S-So, you see...
[05:31] ---
    It's all right! This is just right.
    It's like a perfect fit.
[05:35] ---
    It's no use. She's made her decision.
[05:37] ---
    In other words, this is our movie's concept!
[05:42] ---
    I decided to dedicate myself to entertainment
[05:44] ---
    as the representative director
    for the SOS Brigade!
[05:47] ---
    Just watch! We'll get a standing ovation;
[05:49] ---
    we'll leave no one in their seats!
[05:50] ---
    Director
[06:06] ---
    Yuki! You understand, don't you?! That's it!
[06:10] ---
    I don't know if that's "it."
[06:12] ---
    It looks like her costume
    for her class's fortune telling.
[06:15] ---
    Based on the answers Nagato gave
    to Haruhi's rapid-fire questions,
[06:19] ---
    that seems to be the case.
[06:22] ---
    In any case, what was she up to,
    walking here like that?
[06:27] ---
    That costume is perfect
    for the role I have in mind.
[06:30] ---
    What do you mean, perfect?
[06:34] ---
    This!
[06:40] ---
    Is... is this my fault?
[06:46] ---
    How can I put this?
[06:47] ---
    It's really the kind of casting
    I'd expect from you, Miss Suzumiya.
[06:52] ---
    It's wonderful.
[06:54] ---
    Don't smile at me. I'll turn to stone.
[07:00] ---
    I'm sorry...
[07:01] ---
    Okay, Kyon! Get those guns
    ready to be used by the end of the day.
[07:05] ---
    We're going to start
    shooting tomorrow, after all.
[07:08] ---
    Oh, you have to learn
    how to handle a camera, got it?
[07:13] ---
    Do you think we're going to
    have any particular problems?
[07:15] ---
    Have we ever not had any problems
    with anything she's done?
[07:18] ---
    Don't make me laugh.
[07:20] ---
    Well, it's not really a laughing matter,
    but it's not a reason to despair, either.
[07:25] ---
    How do you know that?
[07:26] ---
    Because those are movie roles.
[07:30] ---
    There's no way that Miss Suzumiya
    actually believes that I'm a teenage esper.
[07:35] ---
    The "Itsuki Koizumi" that I'm set
    to play in the fiction of the movie
[07:40] ---
    is an esper, that's all.
[07:45] ---
    No one actually mixes up an actor with
    the character they play in a movie, right?
[07:51] ---
    Even if there are people who do,
    Miss Suzumiya is not one of them.
[07:56] ---
    That still doesn't make me feel better.
[07:58] ---
    There's no proof
    that what you're saying is true.
[08:01] ---
    If she was the kind of person that
    would mix up the real world with fiction,
[08:05] ---
    then our world would already
    be a much more fantastic place.
[08:09] ---
    I've said this before, but Miss Suzumiya
[08:11] ---
    actually has a fairly realistic way of thinking.
[08:14] ---
    I know that. I've been
    pulled into numerous odd situations
[08:18] ---
    because her realistic way of thinking
    sort of ambles into her godlike existence.
[08:24] ---
    On top of that, Haruhi doesn't know she's doing it.
[08:24] ---
    Brigade leader
[08:28] ---
    We can't show Miss Suzumiya
    any proof of this, of course.
[08:32] ---
    There might come a time where
    we have to, but this is not that time.
[08:39] ---
    Thankfully, Miss Asahina and
    Miss Nagato are in agreement with us.
[08:44] ---
    I'd be okay if things
    stayed this way forever, though.
[08:47] ---
    So would I. I don't want to
    see the world go to pieces.
[08:54] ---
    I think you should be more worried
    about yourself than the world.
[09:00] ---
    There are replacements
    for myself and Miss Nagato,
[09:04] ---
    but there's no understudy for you.
[09:10] ---
    For the school festival
[09:10] ---
    Practice file 3
[09:16] ---
    Feh, what's the big deal about
    the school festival? It pisses me off.
[09:19] ---
    Why?
[09:20] ---
    I'm not having any fun at all,
[09:22] ---
    so the people who are
    having fun are a real eyesore.
[09:25] ---
    Especially couples,
    they fill me with "murderous intent."
[09:29] ---
    Isn't that just you resenting them?
[09:31] ---
    And what's with our class?
    A survey? Hah! How stupid.
[09:36] ---
    Then you should have come up with an idea.
[09:40] ---
    If you had, then maybe Haruhi
    wouldn't have come up with this movie idea.
[09:44] ---
    As if. There's no way I'd let them
    push me into doing more.
[09:48] ---
    That's true. If only
    Miss Asakura were still here.
[09:53] ---
    It really sucked to have
    a double A-plus class girl leave.
[09:59] ---
    I wonder if they'd let me change classes now.
[10:02] ---
    Which class would you want to go to?
    Maybe Miss Nagato's class?
[10:05] ---
    Oh yeah, I saw her walking around
    in some kind of magician outfit yesterday.
[10:09] ---
    What was that all about?
[10:11] ---
    Who knows? I sure don't.
[10:12] ---
    Hm, when was it that I saw you and Nagato
    in the classroom in each other's arms?
[10:18] ---
    Well, you see...
[10:20] ---
    I know, it was something
    Suzumiya cooked up, right?
[10:24] ---
    What? Y-Yeah...
[10:25] ---
    This was an attempt to freak me out, right?
[10:25] ---
    Taniguchi misunderstanding what happened
[10:28] ---
    Nice try, but no dice.
[10:28] ---
    is a load off of my shoulders...
[10:30] ---
    Thanks, Taniguchi.
    Your stupidity will save the world.
[10:34] ---
    Man, but this is boring.
[10:37] ---
    Okay, everyone!
    We're heading to the first location!
[10:40] ---
    This is sudden.
[10:41] ---
    I looked for a good place around the school,
[10:43] ---
    but it looks like we have no choice
    but to go somewhere else nearby.
[10:46] ---
    Mikuru, get ready.
[10:48] ---
    A-Am I going, too?
[10:51] ---
    Of course. We can't
    do anything without the lead.
[10:55] ---
    B-But... in this outfit?
[10:58] ---
    Yup, that's right.
[11:01] ---
    C-Could I at least wear a jacket over this?
[11:04] ---
    No! It's because you think you're
    embarrassed that you get all nervous.
[11:07] ---
    At this rate, we'll never
    be able to get a Golden Globe!
[11:10] ---
    Weren't we trying to get "best of
    the festival" for the school festival?
[11:14] ---
    Oh, yeah, Yuki!
[11:16] ---
    Take this!
[11:18] ---
    I've changed your role,
    so now you're an evil alien witch!
[11:22] ---
    And she's already screwing with the script!
[11:25] ---
    Well, it is true that
    Nagato's powers seem like magic.
[11:30] ---
    Come on, Kyon, get the camera ready!
[11:34] ---
    Okay, let's get going!
[11:35] ---
    All together!
[11:37] ---
    It looks like she's serious.
[11:44] ---
    What the?
[11:51] ---
    Hey, Haruhi.
[11:53] ---
    You don't intend to make these two
    get on the train in these outfits, do you?
[12:00] ---
    Is there a problem with that?
[12:01] ---
    Of course there is!
[12:03] ---
    Why? They might get arrested
    if they were buck naked,
[12:06] ---
    but they're wearing clothes, right?
[12:08] ---
    Oh, would the bunny
    girl outfit have been better?
[12:11] ---
    You should have said so earlier.
[12:12] ---
    I don't think that's something
    that someone who went to the trouble
[12:15] ---
    of getting a waitress outfit should be saying!
[12:17] ---
    Wait, didn't you say that her being
    a waitress was part of the movie's concept?
[12:20] ---
    What's most important
    right now is adaptability.
[12:24] ---
    That's how all living things on the earth
    have managed to evolve, right?
[12:28] ---
    If you just idly stand by,
    you're going to get left behind!
[12:30] ---
    If the environment was sentient,
[12:32] ---
    then Haruhi would have been
    thrown out of the atmosphere by now.
[12:35] ---
    Oh, the train's here!
[12:37] ---
    Come on, Mikuru! Get going already!
[12:43] ---
    We're here, as promised!
[12:46] ---
    Oh, good work.
[12:49] ---
    Ah, is this the girl from the day
    before yesterday? I didn't recognize her.
[12:53] ---
    Okay, I'm counting on you.
[12:55] ---
    Roger that!
[12:57] ---
    All right, everyone.
[12:58] ---
    We're going to have
    a quick meeting, so gather around.
[13:03] ---
    We're going to be shooting a commercial!
[13:07] ---
    What?
[13:09] ---
    Ohmori Electronics
[13:12] ---
    T-This shop is...
[13:15] ---
    The manager is a really good person.
    And he's a nice guy.
[13:21] ---
    Umm... They've been around since
    current owner Eijirou's grandfather.
[13:26] ---
    You can find anything
    from batteries to refrigerators here.
[13:32] ---
    Umm... well...
[13:34] ---
    In any case,
    please come by Ohmori Electronics!
[13:38] ---
    Okay, cut!
[13:40] ---
    Hmm, I just don't feel the emotion...
[13:43] ---
    I wonder why that is...
[13:46] ---
    Mama, what's that?
[13:48] ---
    Shh, you mustn't look.
[13:50] ---
    I've got it!
[13:51] ---
    For the love of God,
    please don't "get" anything else!
[13:54] ---
    It doesn't make sense for a waitress
    to be at an electronics store.
[13:58] ---
    That's "it"?!
[13:59] ---
    Koizumi, hand me the small bag over there!
[14:01] ---
    Yes, ma'am.
[14:03] ---
    "Let me have a camera, and I'll put
    a commercial for your store in my movie."
[14:07] ---
    "Sure thing."
[14:08] ---
    That's probably the conversation
    Haruhi had with the owner in five seconds.
[14:13] ---
    Mikuru, come here a second.
[14:16] ---
    Oh my. It doesn't look like
    I'll have any lines in this part.
[14:21] ---
    Actually, I'm one of the actors
    in my class's stage production, too.
[14:27] ---
    I'm having quite a hard time
    remembering all of the lines.
[14:29] ---
    Oh really.
[14:31] ---
    I'd prefer it if my role for this
    was light on lines, but...
[14:35] ---
    How about if you take the lead role?
[14:38] ---
    Haruhi's the one controlling the casting.
[14:41] ---
    Ask her if you want to switch.
[14:44] ---
    Do you really think that I could
    do something as frightening as that?
[14:47] ---
    These are Miss Suzumiya's orders after all,
[14:50] ---
    and I'd rather not imagine
    what would await me if I disobeyed them.
[14:55] ---
    I'd rather not, either. That's why
    I'm sitting here as the cameraman.
[15:01] ---
    And we're back!
[15:05] ---
    It's Miss Asahina's
    first costume from a while back.
[15:08] ---
    A perfect bunny girl.
[15:11] ---
    Oh yeah, that was over half a year ago.
[15:14] ---
    Now that I think about it,
    quite a bit happened then.
[15:16] ---
    Right now, they're fond memories...
[15:20] ---
    As if!
[15:21] ---
    Okay, this is perfect!
[15:23] ---
    A bunny girl really is the best fit
    for introducing a product.
[15:26] ---
    Okay, we're going to take it from the top!
[15:29] ---
    Kyon, get the camera ready!
[15:32] ---
    All right, this is take two!
[15:36] ---
    And so, the commercial for
    the electronics store was finished.
[15:40] ---
    There's one thing
    you need to remember, though.
[15:43] ---
    There was one other sponsor
    that we visited last time.
[15:47] ---
    Yamatsuchi Model Shop
[15:50] ---
    All right. Okay then, Mikuru.
[15:51] ---
    Do it just like you did at the other store!
[15:54] ---
    There were no problems that time!
[15:55] ---
    Like hell there weren't.
[15:57] ---
    Okay, action!
[16:00] ---
    T-This model shop
    opened for business last year
[16:05] ---
    after Mr. Keiji Yamatsuchi,
    age 28, left his corporate job.
[16:08] ---
    It's like his hobbies took over
    his actions, and he just did it.
[16:14] ---
    And as many thought,
    sales haven't met expectations...
[16:18] ---
    The first-half earnings this year
    are down 80% from last year...
[16:27] ---
    So shop as much as you can, everyone!
[16:34] ---
    You want me to hold it?
[16:42] ---
    D-Don't shoot while pointing at people!
[16:45] ---
    Hold off by shooting things like empty cans!
[16:48] ---
    You want me to shoot?
[16:53] ---
    All right, cut!
[16:56] ---
    Today's filming was only so-so.
[16:59] ---
    But tomorrow we're going to
    start shooting the movie itself.
[17:02] ---
    We've already added fifteen minutes
    to the movie with the commercials.
[17:05] ---
    How long is the actual movie going to be?
[17:07] ---
    Well, we'll just shoot as much
    as we can and edit it down later.
[17:11] ---
    These days, it's a snap with a computer.
[17:13] ---
    And who's going to be doing the snapping?
[17:15] ---
    I've got the feeling that "editor"
    was one of the things listed under my jobs.
[17:19] ---
    Tomorrow's Saturday,
    and a day off from school,
[17:22] ---
    so I want everyone to show up!
[17:24] ---
    Be at Kitaguchi Station at nine o'clock!
[17:27] ---
    Hey, Haruhi. Can't you do something
    about Miss Asahina's outfit?
[17:32] ---
    There has to be a more appropriate
    outfit for someone who fights.
[17:36] ---
    You know, like a plug suit
    or a stealth suit or something.
[17:40] ---
    Tsk tsk.
[17:42] ---
    If she wore something like that,
    there'd be no unpredictability.
[17:45] ---
    The audience will be surprised and go "whoa!"
[17:46] ---
    Because it's a waitress that's fighting.
[17:49] ---
    Being able to grab the audience is vital!
[17:51] ---
    That's the concept, you know!
[17:53] ---
    I wonder if she understands
    the meaning of the word "concept."
[17:56] ---
    Well, never mind that, then.
    Why is she here from the future?
[18:02] ---
    Well, that is, you know.
[18:04] ---
    Umm, the character doesn't
    have to be from the future, right?
[18:07] ---
    It's all right!
[18:08] ---
    We'll figure that out when the time comes!
[18:12] ---
    And if we can't think of something,
    then we'll just ignore it!
[18:15] ---
    As long as it's amusing, it's fine!
[18:19] ---
    That's only if it's amusing though, right?
[18:23] ---
    It's not much good if
    only the director finds it amusing!
[18:26] ---
    Are you trying to get the
    Golden Raspberry award for non-pros?
[18:29] ---
    What are you talking about?
    There's only one thing we're going for.
[18:32] ---
    That's the "best of the festival"
    for the school festival!
[18:35] ---
    And if we can, the Golden Globe, too!
[18:38] ---
    All right, then. At least show me
    the script. How's it coming along?
[18:42] ---
    No problem!
[18:44] ---
    It's all up here. The script and
    the storyboards are all ready to go!
[18:49] ---
    You don't have to think about a thing.
[18:53] ---
    Well, that's just great.
[18:55] ---
    You don't need to
    think about anything, either.
[18:57] ---
    You just need to sit and stare out the window.
[18:59] ---
    As long as you had a pleasant look
    on your face, you'd be as cute as Miss Asahina.
[19:05] ---
    What?
[19:05] ---
    Nothing.
[19:07] ---
    Okay, everyone. We're going to get fired up!
[19:10] ---
    You need to be idealistic
    if you want to capture any glory.
[19:12] ---
    When you free yourself of
    your inhibitions, the latent abilities
[19:16] ---
    within you will awaken,
    revealing unimaginable powers!
[19:20] ---
    This isn't a counterattack like
    you'd see in a battle manga, you know...
[19:27] ---
    The next morning.
[19:29] ---
    As of today, we've fallen
    into a strange situation.
[19:34] ---
    No, how can I put this?
[19:37] ---
    What did Haruhi say? Something like,
[19:40] ---
    "When you free yourself of
    your inhibitions, the latent abilities
[19:43] ---
    within you will awaken,
    revealing unimaginable powers!"
[19:48] ---
    But Haruhi, the one
    gaining powers won't be you.
[19:53] ---
    And you won't even know it.
[19:56] ---
    You're late!
[19:57] ---
    It's not even nine yet.
[19:59] ---
    You're still last. As punishment,
    you're buying us lunch.
[20:04] ---
    Yeah, yeah.
[20:11] ---
    Well, I'll cover the bus fare!
    It's part of our necessary expenses!
[20:17] ---
    Thanks.
[20:18] ---
    Oh yeah!
[20:19] ---
    I need to put this on...
[20:22] ---
    Why are you wearing your school uniform?
[20:25] ---
    She told me to wear it yesterday.
[20:27] ---
    It's because I'm playing a high school
    student who has psychic powers.
[20:33] ---
    So you're just playing yourself.
[20:35] ---
    All right, this works!
[20:37] ---
    Okay, the bus stop is this way!
[20:39] ---
    Super Director
[20:39] ---
    Come on, Kyon, hurry up!
[20:44] ---
    After thirty minutes of being shaken by the bus
[20:47] ---
    and thirty minutes of walking,
[20:49] ---
    we ended up in a place
    that would make you ask,
[20:52] ---
    "Why did we come to a place
    no one wants to come to?"
[20:55] ---
    Man, it's hot...
[20:56] ---
    Umm...
[20:57] ---
    Would you like some of mine?
    If you don't mind that it's half-drunk...
[21:01] ---
    Half-drunk? Oh, thank you.
[21:06] ---
    Take care of that later! You too, Mikuru!
[21:09] ---
    There's no time to
    give our gofer a drink break!
[21:14] ---
    Come on, we're going to
    start shooting. Get changed!
[21:17] ---
    But...
[21:18] ---
    It's fine! If you go far enough in,
    you won't run into anyone!
[21:24] ---
    The half-drunk...
[21:27] ---
    Don't peek.
[21:28] ---
    Right.
[21:31] ---
    Ta-dah! It's a color contact.
[21:34] ---
    Having different colored eyes
    is pretty important, you know!
[21:38] ---
    One differently colored eye
    will increase the sense of mystery!
[21:42] ---
    It's symbolic!
[21:44] ---
    And there's a secret in this blue eye of hers!
[21:47] ---
    Well, it'd make no sense for her
    to just have a differently colored eye.
[21:51] ---
    So? What's the secret?
[21:54] ---
    It's still a secret!
[21:56] ---
    Come on, Mikuru, how long
    are you going to loaf about?
[22:01] ---
    Hey! Mikuru! Stop being so embarrassed!
[22:05] ---
    You just need to get into your character!
[22:10] ---
    Okay, try running one more time.
[22:16] ---
    It looks like this is our opening sequence,
    worthy of celebration.
[22:20] ---
    I thought that she'd at least
    write a script or something,
[22:22] ---
    but Haruhi simply declared
    that there wasn't one.
[22:25] ---
    We'd be in big trouble
    if I wrote it down and it got leaked.
[22:29] ---
    That's the reason she gave.
[22:31] ---
    I wonder when this
    turned into a Hong Kong flick.
[22:33] ---
    Okay! Once more, like you did the third time!
[22:39] ---
    Okay, next up is the fight scene
    between Mikuru and Yuki!
[22:42] ---
    Mikuru, shoot at Yuki with all you've got!
[22:46] ---
    But didn't they say to
    not point these at people?
[22:49] ---
    It's all right. There's no way
    you'll hit her, Mikuru!
[22:53] ---
    And if it looks like she'd get hit,
    Yuki will be able to dodge it.
[22:58] ---
    It's all right. Fire.
[23:00] ---
    See? She said it's all right! Shoot her up!
[23:03] ---
    Oh yeah, don't fire them at the
    same time, but one after the other!
[23:07] ---
    That's one of the basics of two-gun fighting!
[23:18] ---
    Yeah. I guess this works.
[23:21] ---
    Hey, Haruhi. How is this a movie?
    I have no idea what's going on.
[23:26] ---
    That's fine! We'll just cut and
    paste it together during editing.
[23:31] ---
    And who's going to do that?
    That cutting and pasting?
[23:34] ---
    At least put in some dialogue.
[23:36] ---
    It's fine! If we have to, we'll mute the sound
    and record the dialogue afterwards!
[23:40] ---
    We have to put in sound effects
    and background music, anyways!
[23:44] ---
    You don't have to think too hard about this!
[23:49] ---
    Even if we wanted to,
    the story is only in your head,
[23:53] ---
    so there's nothing for us to think about.
[24:04] ---
    It fell from the sky
[24:07] ---
    With all of the wishes that were made upon it
[24:09] ---
    Maybe it was a little too heavy for a single star
[24:15] ---
    Something just doesn't seem right
[24:17] ---
    The image of you in my mind has vanished
[24:20] ---
    Can I say that I remember you clearly?
[24:24] ---
    Stop!
[24:26] ---
    The past belongs to me
[24:30] ---
    Of course I don't want
    to trade it with anyone else
[24:34] ---
    That's because
[24:36] ---
    It was my birthday,
    and when we saw each other
[24:41] ---
    We could see the first dream
[24:43] ---
    That we had when we were born
[24:46] ---
    Worrying about "what do I do?"
[24:51] ---
    Is laughable when I think about it now
[24:55] ---
    I've already forgotten it
[24:58] ---
    Let's search for you

E22 - The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya Part Three
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:22] ---
    Okay, on to the next scene.
[00:24] ---
    Yuki, use your magic to take out Mikuru.
[00:32] ---
    The answer is "no!" of course.
[00:34] ---
    I can't give my permission for you to
    use your magic, let alone hurt Miss Asahina.
[00:38] ---
    Look, Miss Asahina's
    turning blue and shaking from fear.
[00:51] ---
    Oh well. We'll use CG effects in this scene.
[00:55] ---
    Kyon, put in a beam
    coming from Yuki's wand, okay?
[01:00] ---
    How am I supposed to
    put in a visual effect like that?
[01:03] ---
    Okay, Mikuru, now scream!
    And fall over, like you're in pain.
[01:26] ---
    Day by day, everything's just so dull
[01:31] ---
    That's why you need to become
    someone that can just reject it all
[01:36] ---
    Oh my boy, you need to be decisive
[01:40] ---
    I won't deal with any lies
    in this small world
[01:46] ---
    I found myself on my own,
    it's natural you'd fall for me
[01:51] ---
    Kick away the boring ways of doing things,
[01:53] ---
    I'm going to decide everything
[01:57] ---
    I say, I say my heaven
[02:00] ---
    Super driver, leave everything to the rush
[02:02] ---
    And just keep going forward, no matter what
[02:04] ---
    Surpass (Don't you stop me)
    The idea of "impossible"
[02:08] ---
    Take it easy, go!
[02:09] ---
    I agree, it's going to be a huge victory
[02:11] ---
    Of course, it'll feel pleasant,
    no matter what happens
[02:14] ---
    A review meeting? (Get back to wild)
    Forget that, now hurry up
[02:19] ---
    We haven't tried this or that,
    we always do things how we want
[02:24] ---
    Everything's a new experience,
    let's try them out
[02:29] ---
    We haven't tried this or that,
    we always do things suddenly
[02:34] ---
    Everything's a new experience,
    what about it?
[02:39] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
[02:50] ---
    We need a scene with pigeons.
[02:53] ---
    There's a shrine nearby.
    We're heading there next.
[02:56] ---
    We're going to shoot a scene
    of Mikuru walking along
[02:58] ---
    as some pigeons go flying into the air.
[03:01] ---
    I'd love it if these pigeons were all completely white.
[03:01] ---
    The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya III
[03:03] ---
    Please don't feed the pigeons
[03:04] ---
    In this case, I'll let the color slide.
[03:07] ---
    Can't you read Japanese?
[03:14] ---
    What in the world
    am I supposed to be filming?
[03:19] ---
    This is it, Kyon! Be sure to shoot it!
[03:23] ---
    Why are you sitting down, Mikuru?!
[03:25] ---
    Hey, you!
[03:31] ---
    What?!
[03:34] ---
    Retreat!
[03:43] ---
    You don't eat much, do you, Mikuru?
[03:47] ---
    You'll never grow bigger if you don't eat more.
[03:50] ---
    If you only focus on growing your breasts,
    you'll only appeal to a hardcore fan base.
[03:54] ---
    Be sure to get taller, too.
[03:56] ---
    I already know.
[03:58] ---
    I don't know how many years from now
    it will be, but Miss Asahina will eventually
[04:01] ---
    have a face and a body good enough
    for her to enter the Miss Universe pageant.
[04:06] ---
    Though I don't think she knows that.
[04:09] ---
    Haruhi, what are you going to do
    if that priest complains to the school?
[04:14] ---
    Koizumi's school uniform is a dead giveaway.
[04:18] ---
    It'll probably be okay. We were pretty
    far away, and blazers are fairly common.
[04:22] ---
    Even if he says something,
    we can just play stupid.
[04:25] ---
    Once we show the movie, I'm pretty sure
    our cover will be blown in an instant.
[04:30] ---
    I can't imagine there's more than
    one waitress who would come out
[04:33] ---
    to this shrine and walk amongst the pigeons.
[04:36] ---
    So where are we going next?
[04:39] ---
    Let's go back to the park again.
[04:42] ---
    Now that I think about it, what we got
    wasn't enough for a fight scene.
[04:46] ---
    Mikuru, being chased through
    the forest by Yuki, running for her life.
[04:50] ---
    How about we have Mikuru fall off a cliff,
[04:53] ---
    and then she's saved by Koizumi,
    who just happened to be walking by?
[04:58] ---
    What a slapdash way
    to come up with the story.
[05:01] ---
    This is Haruhi we're talking about,
    so she might actually throw her off a cliff.
[05:05] ---
    You should fall instead. Put on
    that costume and be her stunt double.
[05:10] ---
    Well, your breasts aren't quite as big, but...
[05:13] ---
    What are you imagining?
[05:15] ---
    You're not imagining me
    as a waitress, are you?
[05:19] ---
    You mind reader...
[05:21] ---
    Are we three the only ones
    appearing in the film?
[05:24] ---
    Don't ask needless questions, you jerk.
[05:27] ---
    Well... I wonder,
    is three people not enough?
[05:30] ---
    Koizumi, you helped me
    realize something important.
[05:33] ---
    As a reward, I'll give you more screen time.
[05:37] ---
    Well... thank you.
[05:39] ---
    Serves you right.
[05:41] ---
    I didn't say anything because I knew
    I'd be stirring up a hornet's nest.
[05:46] ---
    You've got to take out the minions
    before you can defeat the boss, right?
[05:51] ---
    Minions... minions...
[05:52] ---
    They'll do, right?
[05:54] ---
    That works!
[05:56] ---
    Taniguchi and Kunikida.
    They're perfect supporting characters,
[05:59] ---
    and what's more, they're the ultimate minions.
[06:01] ---
    In any case, we're going to have
    horrible things happen to you, Mikuru.
[06:05] ---
    After all, the theme
    of this movie is a pitiful girl
[06:08] ---
    that has horrible things happen
    to her getting a happy ending!
[06:14] ---
    The bigger Mikuru's misfortune is,
    the bigger the cathartic release will be!
[06:20] ---
    Why are you acting like I'm unreliable?
[06:32] ---
    And so we returned to the wooded park.
[06:37] ---
    Let's get rid of the guns.
[06:41] ---
    I thought more amazing bullets
    would come out of them,
[06:43] ---
    but they don't give off
    any flashy sounds or flames.
[06:45] ---
    They just don't feel realistic.
[06:48] ---
    Mikuru, you stand here.
[06:52] ---
    Yuki, you stand here.
[06:56] ---
    Don't move from those spots, okay?
[06:58] ---
    I want to shoot a scene where
    you two are staring each other down.
[07:01] ---
    Koizumi, get the reflector ready.
[07:07] ---
    Action!
[07:08] ---
    What the?!
[07:11] ---
    Action? Haruhi, all you've
    told them to do is stand there.
[07:15] ---
    What kind of action
    are they supposed to take?
[07:25] ---
    Come on, you guys!
    That won't make for a battle scene at all.
[07:28] ---
    Well, they're just standing there, after all.
[07:34] ---
    Listen, Mikuru.
[07:35] ---
    You can't rest on your laurels
    just because you're cute!
[07:39] ---
    There are tons of other
    cute girls out there, after all.
[07:43] ---
    If you just leave things be, you'll be
    overtaken by all the young up-and-comers!
[07:48] ---
    What is she trying to say?
[07:49] ---
    That's why you have to at least
    have a beam come from your eye, Mikuru!
[07:55] ---
    I can't!
[07:56] ---
    That's why your left eye is a different color.
[08:00] ---
    I didn't make it blue for no reason.
[08:02] ---
    The idea is that there's
    incredible power hidden within it.
[08:05] ---
    That's what the beam is. It's the Mikuru Beam.
[08:08] ---
    That's what you need to fire off.
[08:09] ---
    I can't!
[08:10] ---
    Show some spirit and fire it!
[08:12] ---
    It hurts!
[08:13] ---
    You idiot!
[08:14] ---
    Cut it out!
[08:15] ---
    What are you doing?
[08:17] ---
    You need to calm down!
[08:17] ---
    Let go!
[08:27] ---
    How the hell is a normal human
    supposed to shoot a beam from their eye?
[08:29] ---
    Are you stupid or something?
[08:33] ---
    I know that.
[08:37] ---
    I just wanted her to show some spirit,
    as if a beam might come out.
[08:41] ---
    She lacks the drive you need
    to be a lead in a movie, after all.
[08:44] ---
    You don't get jokes, do you?
[08:47] ---
    That's because your jokes
    turn out to not be jokes.
[08:50] ---
    What'll happen if Miss Asahina really gets
    the ability to shoot a beam from her eye?
[08:55] ---
    You can't, right?
[09:01] ---
    After we shoot the scene,
    we can figure something out using CG, right?
[09:06] ---
    Thank you.
[09:08] ---
    And who's going to do that?
[09:09] ---
    That's what I meant from the start.
[09:13] ---
    This take was no good.
    Let's take it from the top again.
[09:16] ---
    Shout, "Mikuru Beam!"
    while you pose like this.
[09:20] ---
    L-Like this?
[09:22] ---
    No, like this! And close your right eye.
[09:25] ---
    Okay, Mikuru. Try saying it.
[09:28] ---
    M... M-M-Mikuru Beam!
[09:31] ---
    Louder this time!
[09:33] ---
    Mikuru Beam!
[09:35] ---
    Be less embarrassed about it, and louder!
[09:38] ---
    M-M-Mikuru Beam!
[09:41] ---
    Project from your diaphragm!
[09:43] ---
    The stares coming from the families
    watching us are starting to hurt...
[09:46] ---
    Okay! Now let's try this for real!
[09:57] ---
    Now, use the beam!
[10:02] ---
    M-M-Mikuru Beam!
[10:11] ---
    Huh? Yuki, when did you go over there?
[10:36] ---
    Cut, cut!
[10:37] ---
    Miss Nagato!
[10:39] ---
    Hold on, Yuki, what are you doing?
[10:41] ---
    What are you doing? Hey, Nagato!
[10:41] ---
    This isn't in the script.
[10:52] ---
    Are you all right?
[10:55] ---
    Huh?
[10:55] ---
    Oh, what are you two doing?
[10:58] ---
    Please don't do anything
    that's not in the script.
[11:00] ---
    Huh? Mikuru, what happened
    to the contact lens?
[11:05] ---
    Huh?
[11:06] ---
    At a time like this, you ask the one person
    who looks like they know what's going on.
[11:11] ---
    Nagato, do you know what happened
    to Miss Asahina's color contact?
[11:14] ---
    I don't.
[11:15] ---
    That's a lie.
[11:16] ---
    I wonder if it fell out during your struggle.
[11:18] ---
    Why can't we find it?
[11:22] ---
    Act like you're looking, too.
[11:25] ---
    It might have been blown away
    by the wind. It is light, after all.
[11:29] ---
    What happened? Did it break?
[11:32] ---
    I guess it was cheap.
[11:34] ---
    Well, it's the Photography Club's,
    so I guess that's to be expected.
[11:38] ---
    Koizumi, please tape up
    the back or something.
[11:41] ---
    Right.
[11:44] ---
    Without the color contact,
    the video won't match up.
[11:48] ---
    What do we do?
[11:52] ---
    Got it! We'll have the eye color change
    happen after she transforms!
[11:57] ---
    T-Transform?
[11:58] ---
    Of course! It wouldn't be realistic
    if you wore that costume all the time!
[12:04] ---
    There's something unrealistic about
    people who want reality in their fiction.
[12:07] ---
    T-That's good. I really would like
    to wear a more normal outfit!
[12:14] ---
    So your normal clothes are
    going to be the bunny girl outfit!
[12:18] ---
    W-W-W-Why?!
[12:20] ---
    Because that's all I brought.
[12:23] ---
    And besides, there'd be nothing showy
    on the screen if she wore normal clothes.
[12:27] ---
    Well...
[12:27] ---
    Wait!
[12:28] ---
    I just thought of something!
[12:31] ---
    Mikuru is normally a bunny girl who brings
    in customers for the shopping strip stores.
[12:36] ---
    But when she senses danger, she transforms!
[12:39] ---
    That's when she becomes a battling waitress!
[12:42] ---
    What do you think? Perfect, right?
[12:43] ---
    What happened to the reality
    you mentioned before?
[12:46] ---
    All right, let's get going.
[12:47] ---
    Ow ow ow ow...
[12:51] ---
    Thank you for all the hard work...
[12:54] ---
    So what was all that ad libbing about?
[13:01] ---
    Here.
[13:04] ---
    So it was you that took it.
[13:07] ---
    Laser.
[13:11] ---
    Hey, Nagato.
[13:12] ---
    I've always noticed that you keep
    your explanations to the bare minimum.
[13:17] ---
    How about you speak for at least ten seconds?
[13:20] ---
    A coherent, narrow beam of light
    invisible to the human eye.
[13:24] ---
    I see. A coherent,
    narrow beam... invisible...
[13:27] ---
    Sorry, I'm even more confused now.
[13:30] ---
    A laser?
[13:31] ---
    Yes.
[13:32] ---
    That's surprising. May I?
[13:36] ---
    It looks like a normal contact to me.
[13:39] ---
    What do you mean?
[13:42] ---
    Would you show me your right palm?
[13:46] ---
    Oh, not you. I mean Miss Nagato.
[14:00] ---
    It broke through my shield.
[14:02] ---
    Don't be so blasé when you say that.
    Just looking at it hurts.
[14:05] ---
    Incredibly strong. I had to act fast.
[14:08] ---
    Did the beam come from
    Miss Asahina's left eye?
[14:12] ---
    Correct.
[14:14] ---
    Just "correct"?!
[14:16] ---
    It will be repaired soon.
[14:22] ---
    Oh, good grief.
[14:24] ---
    Did Miss Asahina actually
    shoot a beam from her eye?
[14:27] ---
    It's not a particle acceleration cannon.
    It's cohesive light.
[14:30] ---
    Whatever.
[14:32] ---
    Laser, maser, marker-light FAHP,
    they're all the same to normal people.
[14:37] ---
    The problem remains the fact that
    Miss Asahina fired off a heat ray.
[14:41] ---
    Not a heat ray. A photon laser.
[14:44] ---
    I told you, we don't need the scientific details.
[14:48] ---
    Is this an ability that
    Miss Asahina has always possessed?
[14:52] ---
    No. Currently, Mikuru Asahina
    is a normal human being.
[14:57] ---
    She is not any different than anyone else.
[15:00] ---
    Could there be some sort of
    mechanism in that contact?
[15:03] ---
    No. It's a simple cosmetic accessory.
[15:05] ---
    Which means...
[15:07] ---
    If Nagato hadn't protected me, the laser
    beam that shot out of Miss Asahina's eye
[15:12] ---
    would have probably pierced the video
    camera's lens, gone through my eye,
[15:16] ---
    roasted various other bits,
    and then come out the back of my head.
[15:21] ---
    This was Miss Suzumiya's doing.
[15:24] ---
    Because she wanted there
    to be a Mikuru Beam,
[15:26] ---
    reality changed so that there was one.
[15:30] ---
    Wait a second.
[15:31] ---
    That contact lens hasn't had
    any magic cast on it, right?
[15:34] ---
    Even if Haruhi wished for it,
    why did a killer laser beam come out of it?
[15:38] ---
    Miss Suzumiya doesn't need magic
    or strange scientific technology.
[15:43] ---
    All she needs to do is
    think something exists, and it will.
[15:47] ---
    But there's no way she actually thinks that
    a beam would come shooting out of it.
[15:51] ---
    That's true.
[15:52] ---
    We all know that Miss Suzumiya
    possesses common sense.
[15:56] ---
    However, it's also true
    that she doesn't subscribe
[15:58] ---
    to the world's sensibilities, either.
[16:01] ---
    There's probably some sort of
    special situation going on.
[16:04] ---
    That's... Oh, and she's back.
[16:09] ---
    We'll continue this discussion later...
[16:12] ---
    How long are you going to complain?
    Act more like an actress!
[16:15] ---
    A willingness to strip will put you
    on the fast track to the blue ribbon!
[16:22] ---
    Okay, sorry to keep you waiting!
[16:27] ---
    Zoom in!
[16:29] ---
    Confirmation completed.
    It's definitely the Miss Asahina I know.
[16:33] ---
    What are you doing?
[16:39] ---
    You mustn't film anything unless I tell you to.
[16:42] ---
    I know that. Here's your proof--
    I didn't hit the record button.
[16:46] ---
    I was just looking at her.
[16:48] ---
    Okay, everyone! Eyes here! And get ready.
[17:00] ---
    After that, what I filmed
    was video of what was supposed to be
[17:03] ---
    Miss Asahina's day-to-day activities.
[17:06] ---
    What kind of day-to-day life
    is she supposed to have?
[17:13] ---
    And after pulling
    Miss Asahina this way and that...
[17:20] ---
    Having a mountain in
    the background just doesn't work.
[17:23] ---
    Let's go to town.
[17:28] ---
    Oh geez.
[17:34] ---
    Miss Asahina wore her
    bunny girl outfit until the sun set.
[17:40] ---
    The only thing she really did
    was walk around in that outfit.
[17:47] ---
    The idea of "permission to shoot"
    doesn't exist in Haruhi's mind,
[17:51] ---
    so Haruhi was "free" to just shoot
    whatever and wherever she wanted to.
[17:55] ---
    This is a dignified freedom, in the same
    vein as the papal freedom of action
[17:59] ---
    practiced in the time of Pope Innocence III.
[18:02] ---
    Or so I'm told.
[18:06] ---
    The definition of "free"
    is being misunderstood.
[18:13] ---
    I guess this works for today.
[18:17] ---
    What a long day. Tomorrow's Sunday,
    and I'd like to spend it relaxing.
[18:21] ---
    Okay, see you tomorrow.
[18:23] ---
    We'll be meeting up
    at the same time and place.
[18:26] ---
    What a carefree girl.
[18:27] ---
    I hope she's going to give us
    some time to change, at least.
[18:30] ---
    What's that?
    You've got to get the filming done!
[18:32] ---
    We don't have the time to take things slow!
[18:35] ---
    You can relax as much as you want
    once the school festival is over.
[18:38] ---
    Until then, consider your calendar
    to be free of days off!
[18:41] ---
    Okay, see you tomorrow!
[18:43] ---
    We're going to complete
    this movie, no matter what.
[18:45] ---
    No. As long as I'm the director,
    its completion is guaranteed!
[18:50] ---
    Everything else hinges on your hard work.
[18:54] ---
    Be on time.
[18:55] ---
    Anyone that's late will be lynched
    and get the death penalty!
[19:03] ---
    I'll tell Miss Asahina.
[19:06] ---
    Tell her what?
[19:08] ---
    About the laser. If she doesn't
    change the color of her eye,
[19:12] ---
    then a weird laser beam
    won't come out of it.
[19:14] ---
    Perhaps we should
    take a precaution, just in case.
[19:18] ---
    I'm sure that she'll cooperate.
[19:21] ---
    After all, a beam would be dangerous.
[19:30] ---
    Man...
[19:33] ---
    ...but Nagato just keeps saving my life.
[19:45] ---
    Hey, Kyon. This isn't what we talked about.
[19:47] ---
    Where's the lovely Miss Asahina?
[19:49] ---
    I came here because you said
    that she'd come and meet me.
[19:52] ---
    Well, she's not here. I came for the eye candy.
[19:54] ---
    What are you talking about? You're the hero!
[19:56] ---
    So what about it?
[19:57] ---
    30% of this movie is riding on you!
[20:01] ---
    70% is on me and my genius, of course...
[20:01] ---
    All I can see is Suzumiya's angry face.
[20:03] ---
    That doesn't matter!
[20:04] ---
    This is a scam!
[20:06] ---
    It's a scam, so just die.
    Just gaze at Nagato or something.
[20:09] ---
    But you know, that actually looks
    pretty good on Miss Nagato.
[20:12] ---
    Kyon! What's up with Mikuru?
[20:16] ---
    Ohh, if you keep dawdling like that,
[20:16] ---
    It looks like Miss Tsuruya's been
[20:17] ---
    we'll never get anywhere!
[20:17] ---
    pulled into being an extra, too.
[20:20] ---
    So, what are we doing?
[20:20] ---
    What?! Get your butt over here already!
[20:22] ---
    I came because they told me to
[20:23] ---
    if I wasn't doing anything.
[20:24] ---
    How do you read that, the words
    written on Miss Suzumiya's armband?
[20:27] ---
    What are you doing with that handycam?
[20:29] ---
    What's with Yuki's outfit?
[20:31] ---
    Wow, Koizumi!
    You're looking hot today, as usual.
[20:34] ---
    What a restless person.
[20:36] ---
    What was that? Your stomach hurts?
[20:39] ---
    Dummy! That only works
    through elementary school!
[20:43] ---
    Come here, now! You have thirty seconds!
[20:46] ---
    And so it seems that Miss Asahina
    has a sudden case of shut-in syndrome.
[20:51] ---
    I'm going to go get her. Let me see the bag.
[21:08] ---
    I can understand how Miss Asahina feels.
[21:11] ---
    After all, it feels like she might end up
    as a real transforming hero at this rate.
[21:16] ---
    A laser beam is a bit too much, though.
[21:20] ---
    But I think we'll be able to
    avoid any strange beams coming out.
[21:25] ---
    How?
[21:28] ---
    Miss Nagato's cooperated with us.
[21:32] ---
    What did you do to Miss Asahina?
[21:35] ---
    She just removed her ability to shoot lasers.
[21:37] ---
    I'm not really sure, either.
[21:40] ---
    Unlike the other TFEI terminals,
    Miss Nagato doesn't speak very much.
[21:45] ---
    What's a TFEI?
[21:48] ---
    It's an acronym that
    my organization just assigned to them.
[21:51] ---
    You don't need to know what it stands for.
[21:54] ---
    But I get the feeling that Miss Nagato
    is unusual, even amongst "them."
[22:07] ---
    Oh, about that thing earlier.
[22:10] ---
    On the way back from the convenience
    store one night, a taxi passed me.
[22:15] ---
    Available Car
[22:15] ---
    And I glanced at its "available car" light,
[22:19] ---
    but it looked like "beloved car" to me.
[22:21] ---
    That's surprising.
[22:23] ---
    But before I could take another
    look at it, it drove off.
[22:27] ---
    And that's when I realized that maybe
    what I'm missing in my life is love.
[22:33] ---
    Maybe it really did have
    "beloved car" written on the light.
[22:36] ---
    I'm sure it was a private taxi.
[22:40] ---
    I never thought we'd be
    relying on these two idiots.
[22:45] ---
    You're not going to get away
    with pretending to be sick.
[22:48] ---
    We're going to start filming right away!
[22:52] ---
    Heya, Mikuru! Wow, that's really sexy!
[22:57] ---
    I'm sorry I'm late.
[22:59] ---
    Oh, I don't mind.
[23:01] ---
    Heya, Miss Suzumiya!
[23:03] ---
    I'm sorry about yesterday.
[23:05] ---
    It looks like I ended up firing off
    a laser weapon without realizing it.
[23:08] ---
    Oh no, I wasn't hurt, after all.
[23:18] ---
    I was bitten.
[23:20] ---
    By what?
[23:21] ---
    By Miss Nagato.
[23:22] ---
    She said she injected some
    nanomachines or something into me...
[23:26] ---
    But it looks like nothing will be
    coming out of my eye anymore.
[23:29] ---
    Thank goodness.
[23:30] ---
    What did she inject into you?
[23:32] ---
    Last night, she and Koizumi
    came to my house together.
[23:36] ---
    What are you two whispering about?
[23:38] ---
    You're so cute, Mikuru.
    I'd love to keep you as a pet!
[23:42] ---
    Don't look. You'll take away
    some of her cuteness.
[23:44] ---
    Okay, I've decided where we're shooting next!
[23:46] ---
    There's a big lake near where Koizumi lives.
[23:50] ---
    Let's head there to shoot for now.
[23:52] ---
    Filming Crew
[24:04] ---
    It fell from the sky
[24:07] ---
    With all of the wishes that were made upon it
[24:09] ---
    Maybe it was a little too heavy for a single star
[24:15] ---
    Something just doesn't seem right
[24:17] ---
    The image of you in my mind has vanished
[24:20] ---
    Can I say that I remember you clearly?
[24:24] ---
    Stop!
[24:26] ---
    The past belongs to me
[24:30] ---
    Of course I don't want
    to trade it with anyone else
[24:34] ---
    That's because
[24:36] ---
    It was my birthday,
    and when we saw each other
[24:41] ---
    We could see the first dream
[24:43] ---
    That we had when we were born
[24:46] ---
    Worrying about "what do I do?"
[24:51] ---
    Is laughable when I think about it now
[24:55] ---
    I've already forgotten it
[24:58] ---
    Let's search for you

E23 - The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya Part Four
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:34] ---
    We're here.
[00:36] ---
    Keep out
[00:37] ---
    Doesn't this mean that we shouldn't go in?
[00:39] ---
    Even a grade school kid
    wouldn't choose this place for a shoot.
[00:43] ---
    Not counting the really crazy ones.
[00:46] ---
    What are you guys doing?
    Hurry up and climb over.
[00:49] ---
    I forgot that she's really crazy.
[00:52] ---
    Hurry up, Mikuru.
[00:58] ---
    This fence is a bit tall to climb over.
[01:02] ---
    Don't you think so?
[01:09] ---
    Huh, I guess it was pretty old.
[01:12] ---
    Are we supposed to be
    playing kappa or something?
[01:16] ---
    This lake didn't have
    a fence around it a long time ago.
[01:18] ---
    People used to fall in a lot.
[01:20] ---
    Thank God they're all so easy-going.
[01:22] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
[01:30] ---
    This scene is one where Mikuru
[01:30] ---
    The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya IV
[01:31] ---
    is finally backed into a sticky situation.
[01:35] ---
    Her blue-eyed beam
    has been sealed away by Yuki.
[01:38] ---
    Yeah, this looks good.
    Here, you hold this.
[01:43] ---
    Mikuru, are you ready?
[01:46] ---
    Yes.
[01:47] ---
    Louder!
[01:48] ---
    Yes!
[01:49] ---
    You have my sympathy.
[01:51] ---
    Okay, here we go. Ready...
[01:54] ---
    Action!
[01:57] ---
    S-Something like this won't make me give up!
[02:00] ---
    Y-Yuki, the bad alien...
[02:03] ---
    ...leave the earth now
    in a mysterious manner!
[02:07] ---
    Cut!
[02:08] ---
    He is of much precious value.
[02:11] ---
    As part of that,
    we will first take over the earth.
[02:15] ---
    Cut!
[02:16] ---
    I-I won't let you do so!
    I'm willing to risk my life for this!
[02:21] ---
    Cut!
[02:23] ---
    You're starting to get the hang of it,
    aren't you? Keep it up!
[02:27] ---
    Oh yeah, Mikuru, come here a second.
[02:30] ---
    Yes?
[02:33] ---
    It'd be best for us to get out of here
[02:36] ---
    before we become the talk of
    the neighborhood, but...
[02:39] ---
    So this is what video cameras
    are like these days?
[02:41] ---
    Huh... So there's a lot of
    goofy footage of Mikuru in here?
[02:48] ---
    It's nothing to laugh about.
[02:49] ---
    There's a lot of psychologically
    damaging stuff in here.
[02:52] ---
    What'll happen if Miss Asahina
    stops coming to school?
[02:55] ---
    We're back!
[02:56] ---
    And now we're going to get serious about this.
[02:58] ---
    Take a look!
[03:02] ---
    Oh God, what a nightmare.
[03:05] ---
    Are we going to repeat
    what happened yesterday again?
[03:07] ---
    Okay, Mikuru. Make something fantastic,
    it doesn't matter what,
[03:11] ---
    come out of the
    Miracle Mikuru Eye R and attack!
[03:15] ---
    M-M-Miss Nagato--
[03:18] ---
    Hey, Yuki! You're supposed to be a witch!
[03:22] ---
    You don't need to
    do any pro wrestling here...
[03:24] ---
    Well, I guess this works.
    It'll probably get us some more viewers.
[03:28] ---
    Kyon! Be sure to film this!
    Yuki came up with this idea, after all!
[03:33] ---
    It's not an idea.
[03:35] ---
    Man, but this is risqué... I mean,
    I don't mean to film this at all, but...
[03:39] ---
    Center the target and press the record--
    No, I mustn't. I mustn't!
[03:49] ---
    Leave the earth now!
[03:52] ---
    Oh man, we lost another contact.
[03:55] ---
    I was careless.
[03:56] ---
    I had made it so that she could
    not fire off lasers anymore.
[04:00] ---
    This time it was
    a high frequency molecular cutter.
[04:07] ---
    It looks like monofilament.
[04:10] ---
    Umm... this time...
    what did you inject into me?
[04:18] ---
    I modulated the phase of
    your dimensional vibratory cycle,
[04:21] ---
    and generated a force field
    on the surface of your body
[04:24] ---
    capable of transposing gravitational waves.
[04:27] ---
    I see. So it's been dealt with for now.
[04:31] ---
    I have no idea what that means.
[04:33] ---
    As for the fence, the others seem to
    accept the idea that it's old and decrepit.
[04:37] ---
    And thankfully, nothing
    more important got damaged.
[04:41] ---
    But what do we do?
[04:42] ---
    I have the feeling that if we keep shooting,
    something tragic is going to happen.
[04:47] ---
    Even so, we can't stop filming.
[04:50] ---
    What do you think Miss Suzumiya will do
    if we try to force a stop to the filming?
[04:56] ---
    Who knows?
[04:57] ---
    I'm sure there will be some violence.
[04:59] ---
    At the very least,
    from the Colossi in closed spaces.
[05:04] ---
    Right now, Miss Suzumiya is having
    so much fun that she can't help herself.
[05:09] ---
    After all, she gets to act like God.
[05:12] ---
    Miss Suzumiya is using
    the medium of film to re-create a world.
[05:18] ---
    Man, but what a selfish woman.
[05:20] ---
    Of course, Miss Suzumiya doesn't realize this.
[05:24] ---
    She thinks that she's
    only creating a fictional world.
[05:28] ---
    But I think that her passion is
    subconsciously affecting the real world.
[05:36] ---
    It's just fiction!
[05:37] ---
    Either way, we get a bad ending.
[05:41] ---
    If we have to choose one over the other,
    I would go with continuing.
[05:48] ---
    Even if Miss Asahina turns into Superwoman?
[05:52] ---
    Compared to a Colossi appearing,
    it would be a small price to pay.
[05:55] ---
    Doesn't it seem that it would
    be simpler to deal with
[05:59] ---
    a single occurrence
    of an abnormal phenomenon
[06:02] ---
    rather than have the whole world
    rebuilt from scratch?
[06:06] ---
    It's all about the same to me.
[06:09] ---
    How about we hit Haruhi from behind
[06:11] ---
    and keep her unconscious
    until the school festival is over?
[06:15] ---
    That's a frightening thought.
[06:18] ---
    Although if you took full responsibility
    for it, I wouldn't stop you.
[06:26] ---
    The weight of the world
    weighs too heavily on my shoulders.
[06:30] ---
    I'll be all right. I'll find a way to deal with it.
[06:38] ---
    I feel so unworthy of her selflessness.
[06:41] ---
    These are your roles!
[06:43] ---
    In other words, because Mikuru
    is a hero, she can't hurt normal people.
[06:47] ---
    Yuki knows this,
[06:47] ---
    Mikuru Yuki
[06:47] ---
    Normal people
[06:49] ---
    and uses her magic to control
    some normal people to attack her.
[06:51] ---
    And so Mikuru, unable to
    defend herself, gets beaten up.
[06:56] ---
    So Mikuru gets beat up, huh?
[06:58] ---
    First, throw Mikuru into the lake.
[07:04] ---
    Hold on, into this lake? It might
    be warm, but it's still autumn.
[07:08] ---
    And I couldn't call that water clean,
    even if I was trying to whitewash it.
[07:11] ---
    M-M-Miss Suzumiya, could we
    at least use a heated pool or...
[07:15] ---
    This is a pretty harsh shoot.
[07:18] ---
    But Mikuru, in order to get the realism
    we're aiming for, we have to pay this price!
[07:25] ---
    And this is an obstacle that
    you have to overcome, Mikuru!
[07:29] ---
    This is a chance for you to
    take a big step up as an actress!
[07:32] ---
    Do you understand? Now go get ready!
[07:34] ---
    Hey!
[07:46] ---
    U-Umm...
[07:47] ---
    I'll do it!
[07:49] ---
    That's great, Mikuru!
[07:51] ---
    And that's why I chose you
    to be in the brigade!
[07:56] ---
    Miss Asahina...
[07:57] ---
    One, two... three!
[08:03] ---
    Lord have mercy.
[08:04] ---
    What's wrong? Please hold on to me.
[08:12] ---
    Good grief.
[08:14] ---
    We have enough useless crap to open
    a street shop, but not a single towel?
[08:19] ---
    What's up with that?
[08:20] ---
    Well, I guess this works
    as the scene where they meet.
[08:23] ---
    The sense of awkwardness between
    Itsuki and Mikuru is pretty apparent.
[08:26] ---
    Really? It just seemed like
    Koizumi being his usual self to me.
[08:31] ---
    Now it's time for the next step.
[08:33] ---
    We're going to shoot the scene
    where Itsuki, having rescued Mikuru,
[08:35] ---
    takes her back to his own house.
[08:39] ---
    Hold on. That doesn't connect at all.
[08:42] ---
    What happened to Nagato
    or Taniguchi and the others?
[08:45] ---
    The audience won't believe it
    without some sort of explanation.
[08:48] ---
    Oh, be quiet. They'll get it,
    even if we don't shoot the scene.
[08:53] ---
    Why you... Did you just want to see
    Miss Asahina dumped into the lake?
[08:57] ---
    Hey, my house is nearby, and since it
    looks like Mikuru might catch a cold,
[09:03] ---
    would it be okay to get her
    a change of clothes?
[09:05] ---
    That's perfect!
[09:07] ---
    Can we use your place, Tsuru?
[09:09] ---
    We can shoot the scene where
    they get friendly with each other!
[09:13] ---
    Yeah, that's cool. Use my place!
[09:15] ---
    What about us?
[09:17] ---
    You can go home.
[09:20] ---
    Good for you, you've been let go.
[09:22] ---
    It looks like you're about as important
    to Haruhi as BBs that have been fired.
[09:27] ---
    But that's a pretty happy thing to be.
[09:30] ---
    Okay, this is my place.
[09:32] ---
    It's huge.
[09:35] ---
    What kind of evil things do I
    have to do to live in a place like this?
[09:40] ---
    Okay, this is my room. Wait here
    until Mikuru gets out of the bath.
[09:44] ---
    I feel like my bedroom
    was made for a cat compared to this.
[09:48] ---
    This is a nice room. It's a perfect location.
[09:51] ---
    Oh, yeah. Tsuru, I just thought of something...
[10:03] ---
    Sorry to keep you waiting!
[10:06] ---
    Thank you.
[10:07] ---
    I'm sorry I'm late.
[10:10] ---
    Here you go.
[10:12] ---
    Thank you very much.
[10:12] ---
    I'm really being tested by my reason here.
[10:15] ---
    Miss Asahina, that outfit is absolutely criminal.
[10:17] ---
    Here you go. Drink up.
[10:21] ---
    Thanks.
[10:22] ---
    Thank you very much.
[10:26] ---
    Seeing her drink is another
    direct hit to my libido.
[10:29] ---
    Okay, let's get started.
[10:31] ---
    And so we start shooting.
[10:33] ---
    Koizumi carries Miss Asahina, who is
    feigning unconsciousness, into his room.
[10:38] ---
    He lays her on the futon which is
    already spread out for some reason,
[10:41] ---
    and tucks her in.
[10:43] ---
    Mikuru, wake up now.
[10:46] ---
    Are you awake?
[10:50] ---
    Yes, umm... where is this?
[10:54] ---
    This is my room.
[10:55] ---
    Thank you very much.
[10:57] ---
    She seems awfully sexy. Is that acting?
[11:00] ---
    Bring your faces closer together, you two!
[11:03] ---
    Mikuru, close your eyes!
    Koizumi, put your arm around her!
[11:08] ---
    All right, now push her down and kiss her!
[11:19] ---
    Hold on just a second!
[11:22] ---
    This is going too far. In so many ways.
[11:23] ---
    More importantly,
    why is this scene even happening?
[11:25] ---
    What is this?
[11:27] ---
    It's a love scene.
[11:28] ---
    This is what you put in
    to fill in time in movies.
[11:31] ---
    Are you stupid? What is this,
    a two-hour prime time drama?
[11:35] ---
    And Koizumi, why are you getting all into it?
[11:38] ---
    If we showed this at the school festival,
    your shoebox would be stuffed
[11:41] ---
    with hundreds of letters
    cursing you the next day.
[11:44] ---
    I'd put one in, too!
[11:47] ---
    Mikuru, you're so strange!
[11:49] ---
    I'd like to say she's not...
    but she is acting strange.
[11:53] ---
    Her eyes look dull and her cheeks are flushed.
[11:56] ---
    And she looks like she'd
    let Koizumi do anything he wants.
[11:59] ---
    This is not funny.
[12:01] ---
    Koizumi... my head feels heavy...
[12:05] ---
    Geez, has someone
    slipped her some kind of drug?
[12:12] ---
    I'm sorry! I mixed some
    sweet sake into her juice.
[12:16] ---
    I was told that it might open up
    her range as an actress.
[12:23] ---
    You shouldn't just slip something
    like that into a person's drink.
[12:25] ---
    Why not? Mikuru's so sexy right now.
[12:28] ---
    Don't mind him, just kiss her.
    On the mouth, of course.
[12:33] ---
    Don't do it, Koizumi!
[12:39] ---
    Director, this is a bit much for me.
[12:43] ---
    And it looks like
    Miss Asahina's at her limit.
[12:47] ---
    I'm all wight!
[12:51] ---
    Oh geez.
[12:56] ---
    I can't believe that you're getting
    this drunk off of sweet sake.
[13:00] ---
    You're the one that made her drink it.
[13:02] ---
    Come on, snap out of it.
[13:08] ---
    That reaction's no good.
[13:10] ---
    You need to at least straighten out
    your back when you get hit on the head.
[13:15] ---
    Okay, one more time.
[13:17] ---
    Practice.
[13:30] ---
    Cut it out!
[13:32] ---
    How is this practice? How is this
    going to be used in the movie?
[13:35] ---
    Hey, don't stop me.
[13:37] ---
    There's no need for me
    to tell you when this will be used.
[13:42] ---
    You probably haven't even thought of it.
    Stop making excuses.
[13:48] ---
    Stop making assumptions.
[13:50] ---
    You don't know what's going to be
    in the movie, so stop being so selfish!
[13:53] ---
    You're the one being selfish.
    You're just hitting her because you want to.
[13:57] ---
    You don't have the right.
[13:59] ---
    Shut up. What do you know?
    This is a vital part of my movie!
[14:06] ---
    Vital to who? This is stupid.
    Miss Asahina is not your toy.
[14:11] ---
    I decided it was! And Mikuru is my toy!
[14:34] ---
    Wha--
[14:35] ---
    What's with you?!
    What don't you like about this?
[14:38] ---
    You just have to do what I tell you!
[14:41] ---
    I'm the brigade leader! I'm the director!
[14:48] ---
    In any case... I won't allow any insubordination!
[14:58] ---
    Let me go, Koizumi.
[15:00] ---
    It doesn't matter if it's a person or an animal.
[15:01] ---
    When they won't listen, you need to
    scold them with a good smack.
[15:04] ---
    If I don't, then she'll end up being
    a crazy person that everyone avoids.
[15:09] ---
    Prease stop.
[15:13] ---
    You mustn't fight... if you do...
[15:17] ---
    Oh, this is classified information...
[15:32] ---
    I'm sorry, Kyon. I got carried away.
[15:38] ---
    Don't worry about Mikuru.
[15:40] ---
    I'll take her home later,
    or she'll stay here for the night.
[15:47] ---
    I thought you were a more rational person.
[15:51] ---
    So did I.
[15:53] ---
    It doesn't look like
    any closed spaces have appeared.
[15:56] ---
    It appears that Miss Suzumiya's
    subconscious was able to control itself.
[16:00] ---
    Good for you,
    I'm glad you had less work to do.
[16:02] ---
    By the way, there's a place
    I'd like to take you to.
[16:07] ---
    And if I said no?
[16:09] ---
    This won't take much time.
[16:14] ---
    Do you remember
    what Miss Suzumiya said yesterday?
[16:17] ---
    How am I supposed to remember
    all of her random comments?
[16:22] ---
    You'll remember when you see this.
[16:25] ---
    They were already this way this morning.
[16:33] ---
    Did someone paint them or something?
[16:35] ---
    There's no mistaking it. These pigeons
    all have their natural feathers.
[16:39] ---
    I guess they were really scared
    by the gunfire yesterday.
[16:43] ---
    Even if that were the case,
[16:45] ---
    do you think this is
    what would actually happen?
[16:48] ---
    Yeah, I know.
[16:49] ---
    I'd love it if these pigeons
    were all completely white.
[16:52] ---
    In this case, I'll let the color slide.
[16:55] ---
    She hasn't let it slide at all.
[16:57] ---
    This is what I think.
[16:59] ---
    I think that Miss Suzumiya is a special person
[17:01] ---
    that someone has granted godlike powers to.
[17:05] ---
    The fact that Miss Suzumiya is part of
    this world of ours is proof of that.
[17:12] ---
    That's surprising.
[17:14] ---
    And didn't you say that
    "Haruhi is God" or something?
[17:18] ---
    Oh, is that so?
[17:20] ---
    Don't mess with me.
[17:22] ---
    I'm kidding.
[17:24] ---
    Miss Suzumiya is she who can create the world
[17:27] ---
    and at the same time,
    the one who can destroy it.
[17:30] ---
    This reality of ours might be a failure.
[17:35] ---
    And the one with the job
    of fixing this failed world
[17:38] ---
    might just be the one we call Haruhi Suzumiya.
[17:41] ---
    All right, and?
[17:43] ---
    If that's the case,
    then we might be the ones mistaken
[17:46] ---
    about the fact that there is
    no proof at all that Miss Suzumiya
[17:48] ---
    has used her powers up until now.
[17:52] ---
    Hmph. And?
[17:54] ---
    The problem is those of us
    who might be mistaken about that.
[17:58] ---
    When the world is remade into
    its proper form by Miss Suzumiya,
[18:02] ---
    will we still be able to be part of that world?
[18:07] ---
    Or will we be considered
    bugs in the system and eliminated?
[18:10] ---
    I don't know.
[18:12] ---
    It's just... I quite like this world of ours.
[18:18] ---
    From ages past until modern times,
[18:20] ---
    this world has been built, piece by piece,
    by so many different people.
[18:24] ---
    I don't want it to fall apart.
[18:28] ---
    And that's why I try to
    do what I can about Miss Suzumiya.
[18:32] ---
    I wonder if this world is worth all that.
[18:35] ---
    Oh, I thought that you felt it was.
[18:38] ---
    Which is why you came back from
    the closed space, but... was I wrong?
[18:46] ---
    Well, I wonder.
[18:53] ---
    It's not like me to talk like this.
[18:56] ---
    I'm making it sound like we're
    protecting the world. I apologize.
[19:19] ---
    It looks like Miss Suzumiya is
    too busy feeling dejected to be angry.
[19:25] ---
    Oh, why's that?
[19:27] ---
    I thought you would know...
    Okay, I'll explain.
[19:32] ---
    Miss Suzumiya thought that
    no matter what happened,
[19:35] ---
    you would always be on her side.
[19:38] ---
    That no matter how much you complained,
[19:39] ---
    you alone would always forgive her.
[19:42] ---
    The only one that could
    forgive her is a martyred saint.
[19:46] ---
    Could you say something
    to Miss Suzumiya to cheer her up?
[19:50] ---
    If you don't,
    she might continue to get depressed,
[19:52] ---
    then something far worse
    than the closed spaces might occur.
[19:57] ---
    I can't even imagine how the world
    might react to a depressed Miss Suzumiya.
[20:02] ---
    So you're telling me to cheer her up?
[20:05] ---
    You just need to get back with her again.
[20:07] ---
    There was never a "with her" to begin with.
[20:11] ---
    Oh, I thought that your head
    had cooled off by now,
[20:16] ---
    but I guess I was wrong.
[20:18] ---
    The reason I was so angry yesterday
    was because my kind heart
[20:21] ---
    couldn't bear to watch the cruel things
    happening to Miss Asahina.
[20:25] ---
    But that can't be the only reason.
[20:27] ---
    I might have just been suffering
    from a calcium deficiency.
[20:31] ---
    After drinking around
    a liter of milk before going to bed,
[20:35] ---
    I was strangely calm.
[20:38] ---
    That might just be a placebo effect, though.
[20:42] ---
    "Movie," what a joke.
    That was a waste of my day.
[20:44] ---
    Now, now.
[20:45] ---
    He wanted to hang out
    with you guys and Miss Suzumiya more.
[20:49] ---
    He even cancelled his other plans.
[20:51] ---
    Don't tell him that, you jerk.
[20:53] ---
    In any case.
[20:54] ---
    I'm never going to get involved with
    any of those stupid projects anymore.
[20:57] ---
    A movie? As if.
[20:59] ---
    It'll just end up as garbage. That's for sure.
[21:04] ---
    You're the last person I want to hear that from.
[21:07] ---
    Even if he didn't say that, I could imagine it.
[21:10] ---
    Even so, hearing that from him pisses me off.
[21:14] ---
    At least Haruhi is doing something
    for the school festival.
[21:17] ---
    She's trying to be involved.
    But what about you?
[21:20] ---
    Even if it is stupid, at least Haruhi's
    trying to make something.
[21:24] ---
    All you're doing is
    sitting there and complaining.
[21:26] ---
    Man, that pisses me off.
[21:30] ---
    Now, I wonder why that pisses me off...
[21:33] ---
    Have I suddenly found
    the passion to make movies?
[21:39] ---
    What's wrong, Kyon?
[21:41] ---
    Miss Suzumiya seems upset, too...
    Did something happen?
[21:44] ---
    Maybe they had a lovers' spat.
[21:49] ---
    Oh, I see. I'm at Haruhi's
    beck and call, even if I grumble about it.
[21:55] ---
    What pisses me off, in other words,
[21:57] ---
    is the fact that there's
    no difference between the me who
[21:59] ---
    got pissed off at what Taniguchi said,
    and Taniguchi himself.
[22:02] ---
    Dammit.
[22:03] ---
    Taniguchi, you bastard. Thanks to you,
    I've come to a weird realization.
[22:08] ---
    Dammit... Now I have to
    do something that I'm sure I'll regret.
[22:12] ---
    Dammit! Dammit!
[22:23] ---
    Hey, Haruhi.
[22:26] ---
    What?
[22:29] ---
    Let's finish this film, no matter what.
[22:41] ---
    Of course. I'm the director, after all!
[22:46] ---
    It's a given that it'll be finished.
    You don't have to tell me that.
[22:51] ---
    Man, but she's straightforward...
[22:53] ---
    Well, if it would be strange to see
    an unhappy Haruhi, then this is better.
[22:58] ---
    Here we go!
[23:04] ---
    Wasn't there anything else
    you could have said to her?
[23:07] ---
    I'm sorry.
[23:09] ---
    She's not just back to how she was,
    now she's even more powerful.
[23:13] ---
    I'm sorry.
[23:15] ---
    There's no way we'll
    be able to cover this up now.
[23:21] ---
    Oh, but this works out so well!
[23:23] ---
    I was just thinking that I wanted
    a scene with cherry blossoms.
[23:26] ---
    What great timing for some strange weather!
[23:30] ---
    Okay, now take your victory pose!
[23:34] ---
    Oh yeah! Let's get a cat!
[23:36] ---
    A cat?
[23:37] ---
    A witch needs a familiar.
    And a cat would be the best fit for that!
[23:42] ---
    Is there a black cat around here somewhere?
[23:44] ---
    Wasn't Nagato originally
    set to be an evil alien?
[23:47] ---
    Never mind that, we need a cat!
    That's how it's set in my mind now.
[23:52] ---
    Hey Yuki, do you know anyplace
    with lots of cats? Strays are okay.
[24:04] ---
    It fell from the sky
[24:07] ---
    With all of the wishes that were made upon it
[24:10] ---
    Maybe it was a little too heavy for a single star
[24:15] ---
    Something just doesn't seem right
[24:17] ---
    The image of you in my mind has vanished
[24:20] ---
    Can I say that I remember you clearly?
[24:24] ---
    Stop!
[24:26] ---
    The past belongs to me
[24:30] ---
    Of course I don't want
    to trade it with anyone else
[24:34] ---
    That's because
[24:36] ---
    It was my birthday,
    and when we saw each other
[24:41] ---
    We could see the first dream
[24:44] ---
    That we had when we were born
[24:46] ---
    Worrying about "what do I do?"
[24:51] ---
    Is laughable when I think about it now
[24:55] ---
    I've already forgotten it
[24:59] ---
    Let's search for you

E24 - The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya Part Five
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:22] ---
    I do.
[00:24] ---
    Nagato led us to the back
    of her apartment building.
[00:31] ---
    Oh, they all seem used to people.
[00:36] ---
    Black cat, black cat...
[00:43] ---
    Oh well. Let's use this one.
[00:46] ---
    And she's changed the set up again.
[00:48] ---
    It's not black, but I guess
    we don't have a choice.
[00:51] ---
    Okay, Yuki! This is your partner!
[00:54] ---
    Be good friends!
[00:57] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
[01:03] ---
    The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya V
[01:04] ---
    And so we started filming again.
[01:06] ---
    It looks like it doesn't matter where we shoot.
[01:08] ---
    Yuki! Attack Mikuru!
[01:12] ---
    Take this...
[01:16] ---
    Okay, cut! Nice!
[01:18] ---
    We'll make that cat talk!
[01:21] ---
    He's a witch's cat, after all.
[01:23] ---
    So he should at least make
    one or two snide remarks, right?
[01:25] ---
    How absurd.
[01:26] ---
    Your name is Shamisen!
    Come on, Shamisen, say something!
[01:32] ---
    There's no way he'd talk.
    Actually, please don't talk.
[01:36] ---
    Wait, "Shamisen"?!
[01:39] ---
    Hmm, pretty good.
[01:41] ---
    Kyon, I'm going to
    leave that cat's care to you.
[01:44] ---
    Take him home with you.
[01:46] ---
    You have until tomorrow
    to teach him a trick or two.
[01:49] ---
    Like jumping through a ring of fire!
[01:52] ---
    Okay, we're done for today!
[01:54] ---
    Tomorrow we'll be shooting the climax!
[01:57] ---
    The filming's going smoothly!
    Everyone's healthy!
[01:59] ---
    Rest well, everyone!
    And prepare yourselves for tomorrow!
[02:15] ---
    Good work. I'll buy you
    a can of cat food in a bit.
[02:20] ---
    Or would you prefer dried sardines?
[02:22] ---
    I'm okay with either.
[02:29] ---
    Hey now, was that you, Nagato?
    I was asking the cat.
[02:33] ---
    That was my intention. That's why I answered.
[02:37] ---
    Did I say something wrong?
[02:43] ---
    What a surprise. He's a calico and he's male.
[02:46] ---
    No, that's not why you should be surprised.
[02:49] ---
    What a surprise.
[02:50] ---
    For a cat to speak...
[02:53] ---
    I don't understand why you're all surprised.
[02:57] ---
    He's a bakeneko,
    or some kind of nekomata.
[03:00] ---
    It's true that the sounds
    that are coming from me
[03:03] ---
    might sound like human words to you.
[03:06] ---
    If that's the case,
    then why are you trying to confirm
[03:10] ---
    that I said what it sounds like I said?
[03:14] ---
    Well, you know. It's because you're
    actually answering my questions.
[03:18] ---
    But it might just be that
    the sounds that I'm making
[03:22] ---
    just happen to mesh with
    what you're saying, right?
[03:26] ---
    If that's the case, then that
    wouldn't make it a conversation,
[03:29] ---
    even if it were between two humans.
[03:32] ---
    Exactly.
[03:34] ---
    Even if two people are acting like
    they're talking to one another,
[03:37] ---
    no one can be sure if they're
    properly expressing how they feel.
[03:43] ---
    Many people do say one thing
    even if they feel another way, after all.
[03:46] ---
    Shut up, you.
[03:47] ---
    Now that you mention it, that's true...
[03:51] ---
    I'm sorry, but could you
    please be quiet, too?
[03:58] ---
    The situation is pretty bad.
[04:01] ---
    We've underestimated Miss Suzumiya yet again.
[04:06] ---
    Umm... What do you mean?
[04:10] ---
    There's a chance that the setting
    of Miss Suzumiya's movie
[04:12] ---
    will become the everyday
    reality of the world.
[04:16] ---
    If she thinks to herself, "I'd like to shoot
    a scene of a giant meteor impact,"
[04:20] ---
    then it might become reality.
[04:26] ---
    Then what can we do?
[04:28] ---
    We have to prevent the erosion
    of our reality by her imagination.
[04:32] ---
    Right now, she's unconsciously
    mixing up reality and fiction.
[04:36] ---
    She is getting pretty carried away.
[04:39] ---
    Miss Suzumiya's
    unusual abilities are coming out
[04:42] ---
    through the filter of her moviemaking.
[04:45] ---
    To prevent this, we need to
    make Miss Suzumiya understand
[04:48] ---
    that this is simply fiction, and logically
    guide this film into something more stable.
[04:54] ---
    And how are we supposed to
    rationalize a talking cat?
[04:57] ---
    I'm not talking about rationalizing things.
[05:00] ---
    If we did, we'd end up with
    a world setting where cats talk.
[05:05] ---
    But that's not possible in our world.
[05:08] ---
    Well, what about you guys?
[05:11] ---
    Well, it's true that we exist
    thanks to Miss Suzumiya.
[05:16] ---
    The same as that talking cat.
[05:18] ---
    Can't we do something about this?
[05:20] ---
    If this were a fantasy world,
    then we wouldn't need any explanations.
[05:24] ---
    But the moment we show proof
    of a talking cat or a Mikuru Beam,
[05:30] ---
    then our world will change.
[05:32] ---
    The world will have to change from one
    where there are no supernatural phenomena
[05:37] ---
    to one that is aware of them.
[05:39] ---
    Okay, then what do we do?
[05:41] ---
    We just have to put an ending on
    the movie that Miss Suzumiya will accept.
[05:46] ---
    Does that even exist?
[05:47] ---
    It does.
[05:49] ---
    It's an incredibly simple ending that
    can take any events that make no sense
[05:52] ---
    and make them all reasonable in a second.
[05:57] ---
    Spit it out.
[05:58] ---
    "It was all a dream."
[06:02] ---
    I wasn't joking.
[06:05] ---
    Do you think you'll be able to
    convince Haruhi to do that?
[06:08] ---
    It might be difficult.
[06:10] ---
    But in this case, mentioning that
    everything in the movie is a dream,
[06:16] ---
    a lie, or a misunderstanding
    is the best way to resolve it all.
[06:21] ---
    That's probably true for you...
[06:23] ---
    I might think that's the best way, too.
    But what about Haruhi?
[06:41] ---
    Okay, don't say a single word in the house.
[06:44] ---
    Act like a cat, got it?
[06:46] ---
    I don't know what "like a cat" means,
    but I'll do as you ask.
[06:51] ---
    Don't talk. Make all of your answers "meow."
[06:54] ---
    Meow.
[06:56] ---
    Cat cat cat!
[06:59] ---
    Meow.
[07:01] ---
    There we go.
[07:05] ---
    All right, see you later.
[07:07] ---
    As you wish.
[07:10] ---
    Only a few days remained
    until the school festival.
[07:13] ---
    It felt as if a chaotic atmosphere
    was steadily spreading
[07:16] ---
    throughout the school, connecting
    everyone to Haruhi's excitement.
[07:21] ---
    We have to find the legendary
    Crystal Crescent Orb, and quickly!
[07:25] ---
    Yeah, yeah, yeah!
[07:27] ---
    It's like it wouldn't be strange at all
[07:29] ---
    if a couple of people from
    another world got mixed up in all of this.
[07:34] ---
    Kyon!
[07:36] ---
    Mikuru says she has something
    she wants to talk to you about!
[07:38] ---
    Go on, Mikuru, give that to him!
[07:42] ---
    Oh, this... umm... it's a c-c-coupon!
[07:45] ---
    Oh, this... umm... it's a c-c-coupon!
[07:45] ---
    Yakisoba Café Acorn
[07:45] ---
    Discount coupon
[07:47] ---
    It's for the yakisoba café our class is doing!
[07:51] ---
    Thank you very much.
[07:53] ---
    Please bring some friends with you.
[07:56] ---
    That's all! See ya!
[08:13] ---
    Kyon...
[08:14] ---
    What's up?
[08:16] ---
    Well, if I say this, it will look like
    Koizumi is one of those...
[08:21] ---
    And... I don't like it, but...
[08:24] ---
    Uh-huh.
[08:25] ---
    I, you see... I have
    a different way of thinking...
[08:29] ---
    In other words... it's a different
    interpretation from Koizumi's.
[08:36] ---
    Are you talking about the whole
    "Haruhi is God" thing?
[08:44] ---
    There's no mistaking that Miss Suzumiya
    has the power to change the present.
[08:49] ---
    But I don't think it's the power
    to change how the world works.
[08:53] ---
    The world has always been like this.
[08:55] ---
    I see... This is completely opposite
    of what Koizumi says.
[09:00] ---
    I think that Miss Nagato
    probably thinks differently, too.
[09:05] ---
    Umm... This might give you
    a bad impression of him, but...
[09:10] ---
    ...if I said... you shouldn't trust Koizumi...
    it might be misleading, but...
[09:19] ---
    Umm, I'm sorry...
    I'm no good at explaining things,
[09:23] ---
    and I'm under certain restrictions,
    so I... But l...!
[09:31] ---
    I understand. There's no way
    Haruhi could be God.
[09:36] ---
    Your explanation is easier to understand
    than Koizumi's, Miss Asahina.
[09:42] ---
    Thank you...
[09:44] ---
    But please understand. I don't have
    anything against Koizumi himself.
[09:51] ---
    Sure.
[09:52] ---
    Literature Club
[09:54] ---
    This is what is believed to be
    Mikuru Asahina's assertions.
[09:57] ---
    Haruhi Suzumiya is not
    the one who created the world,
[10:00] ---
    but that this world has always been this way.
[10:04] ---
    Psychic powers and time travel,
[10:06] ---
    extraterrestrial life forms and other
    supernatural beings have always existed.
[10:11] ---
    Haruhi Suzumiya's role is to
    unconsciously discover them,
[10:16] ---
    and that this ability
    manifested three years ago.
[10:19] ---
    However, while she can find
    the unusual, she can never realize it.
[10:24] ---
    Because there exists something to interfere
    with her making those realizations.
[10:29] ---
    And that is us.
[10:33] ---
    So Miss Asahina has
    a different reason from Koizumi
[10:36] ---
    for not wanting Haruhi
    to discover anything mysterious?
[10:39] ---
    Yes. She came to this era
    to protect the future that she is from.
[10:46] ---
    It almost feels like she's revealing
    vital information like it's no big deal.
[10:50] ---
    Itsuki Koizumi and Mikuru Asahina will never
    agree with each other's interpretations.
[10:55] ---
    To them, the other's theory can only serve
    to disrupt the basis of their own existence.
[11:02] ---
    Hold on. Koizumi said that he didn't have
    his esper powers until three years ago.
[11:07] ---
    There is no proof anywhere
    that what Itsuki Koizumi says is true.
[11:14] ---
    It's true. There's no proof...
[11:15] ---
    Koizumi's theory just attaches
    an acceptable explanation
[11:18] ---
    to some events that have involved me.
[11:21] ---
    Who knows if that's correct?
[11:23] ---
    And Miss Asahina's theory is the same.
[11:26] ---
    Who can guarantee that
    the Asahina version is correct?
[11:31] ---
    What do you think? Which one is right?
[11:35] ---
    What about the possibility of autonomous
    self-determination you mentioned?
[11:40] ---
    No matter which truth I present,
[11:42] ---
    there is no way for you to obtain any proof.
[11:44] ---
    Why not?!
[11:52] ---
    Because there is no proof anywhere
    that I'm speaking the truth.
[11:58] ---
    Not to you...
[12:06] ---
    I don't know. Who would, normally?
[12:09] ---
    Koizumi, Nagato,
[12:10] ---
    I won't give you the orb!
[12:10] ---
    please give me an easier to understand explanation.
[12:12] ---
    Come back here!
[12:17] ---
    The only one who thought
    the filming was going well was Haruhi.
[12:21] ---
    Because of this, the grim looks
    on the faces of Koizumi,
[12:23] ---
    Miss Asahina, and myself
    had awfully dark shadows.
[12:28] ---
    At some point, the model guns started firing
[12:31] ---
    water-hammer rounds instead of BBs.
[12:34] ---
    Haruhi brought Miss Asahina contacts
    of other different colors,
[12:37] ---
    and she started firing off
    other dangerous things.
[12:39] ---
    And every time, she was bitten by Nagato.
[12:42] ---
    Just as the cherry trees
    were starting to blossom,
[12:44] ---
    a few days later they had all fallen off.
[12:46] ---
    The white pigeons at the shrine
[12:48] ---
    had turned into passenger pigeons,
    which have long since been extinct.
[12:52] ---
    And it looks like the progression
    of the seasons is a little bit off.
[12:58] ---
    The current highs for Nikkei futures
    have risen to 9360 yen,
[13:02] ---
    with a low of around 9250...
[13:02] ---
    Kyon, your friend's here!
[13:08] ---
    Yo.
[13:13] ---
    The details and foreshadowing
    don't matter to Miss Suzumiya.
[13:18] ---
    She probably hasn't
    thought of an ending, either.
[13:21] ---
    It might end incomplete.
[13:25] ---
    That would be a problem, right?
[13:28] ---
    Our theory is that it would be problematic
    if the world became more like fiction.
[13:36] ---
    To tell the truth,
    my agency and Miss Asahina's group
[13:40] ---
    aren't the only ones whose theories
    center around Miss Suzumiya.
[13:46] ---
    There are a lot of them.
[13:49] ---
    There have been enough conflicts
    and bloody exterminations
[13:54] ---
    for me to want to
    explain it all in digest format.
[13:57] ---
    Alliances and betrayals,
    interference and sneak attacks,
[14:00] ---
    destruction and mass murder.
[14:02] ---
    Each group has brought forth all of
    their strength in an attempt to survive.
[14:08] ---
    Well, this has nothing to do with you.
    Or Miss Suzumiya.
[14:15] ---
    And I would prefer that Miss Suzumiya
    never found out about any of this.
[14:19] ---
    I don't want to do anything
    that will cloud her mind.
[14:23] ---
    My criterion is that Miss Suzumiya
    has a character that should be loved.
[14:30] ---
    Oh, you do too, of course.
[14:33] ---
    Why are you telling me this?
[14:36] ---
    I just blurted it out. There's no reason.
[14:40] ---
    After all, it's just nonsense.
[14:43] ---
    That's true. It's not amusing at all.
[14:47] ---
    There's one more bit of nonsense.
[14:50] ---
    Have you ever wondered
    why Miss Asahina has joined us?
[14:58] ---
    Her job is to get you on her side.
[15:02] ---
    The only one that can get Miss Suzumiya
    to listen to them at all is you, after all.
[15:08] ---
    Being able to get a grip
    on you would be perfect.
[15:12] ---
    Her young appearance,
[15:14] ---
    her submissively obeying
    Miss Suzumiya's unreasonable demands,
[15:17] ---
    and her pitiful demeanor.
[15:20] ---
    It's all to get you to focus on her.
[15:24] ---
    I'm tired of you and your jokes.
[15:32] ---
    Oh, I'm sorry.
[15:34] ---
    It looks like I lack
    the ability to keep a joke going.
[15:39] ---
    I'm lying. Did you take that seriously?
[15:43] ---
    Between Miss Suzumiya's movie
    and my class's play,
[15:47] ---
    I'm under a lot of pressure.
[15:50] ---
    If a closed space opened up
    in addition to all that,
[15:53] ---
    I'm pretty sure that I would collapse.
[15:56] ---
    Which is why I came to make a request of you.
[15:59] ---
    Please, can you do something
    to stop Miss Suzumiya's movie
[16:02] ---
    from being the source of
    all of the strange phenomena?
[16:05] ---
    Make Haruhi realize that
    her movie is nothing but nonsense?
[16:12] ---
    Was that it?
[16:13] ---
    As long as she clearly understands that.
[16:17] ---
    And if possible, before we finish filming.
[16:27] ---
    I'm counting on you.
[16:33] ---
    What the heck is up with him?
[16:35] ---
    Did he come just to
    push the responsibility onto me?
[16:40] ---
    But still...
[16:46] ---
    I guess I can't just let it be.
[16:48] ---
    God, this is annoying.
[16:51] ---
    A movie is a movie, and reality is reality.
[16:54] ---
    They're two different things.
[16:56] ---
    That's so obvious, so why in the world
    do I have to convince her of that?
[17:00] ---
    Koizumi said to make it "all just
    a dream," but what else is there...
[17:14] ---
    The next day, I went to Haruhi
    with a single suggestion,
[17:18] ---
    and after a lot of discussion,
    I got her to understand.
[17:22] ---
    Okay, then!
[17:23] ---
    Good work, everyone!
    With this, we're finished filming!
[17:28] ---
    You all did your best!
[17:30] ---
    Let's meet up in the clubroom
    first thing tomorrow morning
[17:32] ---
    and preview the movie!
[17:36] ---
    Mikuru, it's too soon to cry!
[17:38] ---
    Save those tears for when
    you get a Palme d'Or or an Oscar!
[17:42] ---
    Let's all be happy together!
[17:46] ---
    Mikuru and Yuki's last battle suddenly
    awakens Itsuki Koizumi's powers
[17:51] ---
    and this hard to understand,
    deus ex machina power
[17:54] ---
    knocks Yuki to the far reaches of the universe.
[17:57] ---
    With this, the curtain closes
    on our story. Wait, it's closing?!
[17:59] ---
    So it's finally over.
[18:04] ---
    Okay, Mikuru, come here!
[18:04] ---
    You know, it feels like it all ended in an instant.
[18:06] ---
    Miss Suzumiya, aren't we done?
[18:08] ---
    They say time flies when you're having fun...
[18:11] ---
    Though I wonder who was
    the one having fun here.
[18:14] ---
    Who knows?
[18:16] ---
    Can I leave the rest to you?
[18:20] ---
    My head is packed with the things
    I need for my class' play.
[18:23] ---
    Unlike a movie, I don't get
    a retake if I mess up a line.
[18:31] ---
    Oh, one more thing.
[18:33] ---
    We're grateful to you.
    Both the agency, and me personally.
[18:41] ---
    Okay, shout it loud!
[18:44] ---
    We're aiming for a Hollywood blockbuster!
[18:47] ---
    We'll get the Golden Bear
    and the Golden Lion awards!
[18:50] ---
    That's it! Now, Mikuru, point at the future!
[18:54] ---
    Oh brother.
[18:58] ---
    To be honest, up until the end I didn't have
    a pixel's worth of understanding
[19:03] ---
    of what Haruhi was trying to film.
[19:05] ---
    It's probably obvious,
    but no matter where we searched,
[19:08] ---
    we didn't have the time to put in the visual
    effects, or the technology for that matter.
[19:14] ---
    And so Haruhi complained.
[19:16] ---
    We can't show off an unfinished film like this!
[19:19] ---
    Do something about it!
[19:20] ---
    The school festival
    is tomorrow. I'm at my limit.
[19:24] ---
    If you stay up all night, you'll make it, right?
[19:26] ---
    You can just stay here overnight.
[19:31] ---
    And I'll help, too.
[19:36] ---
    They'll know that those are BBs!
[19:36] ---
    In the end, Haruhi was of no help whatsoever.
[19:49] ---
    To be fair, I fell asleep, too.
[19:55] ---
    Kyon! Hey, wake up!
[20:03] ---
    So, how did it turn out?
[20:05] ---
    There was no point to staying overnight.
    The movie is still unfinished.
[20:10] ---
    ...from the future!
[20:21] ---
    It's not bad. It's not quite all there,
    but for you, it's pretty good.
[20:26] ---
    It wasn't me. Someone else did it.
[20:30] ---
    Best odds, Nagato. Next best, Koizumi.
    Miss Asahina, unlikely.
[20:34] ---
    And the long shot would be
[20:36] ---
    someone who has yet to appear.
[20:36] ---
    Mikuru, you have to fight back!
[20:39] ---
    Good morning. How did it turn out?
[20:43] ---
    Good morning...
[20:45] ---
    Good morning! It's done, of course!
[20:48] ---
    Our feature-length spectacle
    built on our blood, sweat, and tears!
[20:53] ---
    Oh, is that so?
[20:55] ---
    That's wonderful.
[20:59] ---
    Let's all watch it together!
[21:01] ---
    Audio/Visual Room
[21:01] ---
    Mikuru, you were great!
[21:04] ---
    You'll completely capture the hearts
    of the whole audience with this!
[21:07] ---
    It's perfect, Mikuru!
[21:10] ---
    The school festival started,
    and there was nothing more for me to do.
[21:14] ---
    The changes to reality that we feared
    seemed to come to a stop.
[21:18] ---
    I knew this when Shamisen stopped talking.
[21:23] ---
    Speaking of stopping, I stopped seeing
    those strangely dressed guys
[21:26] ---
    that I had seen a lot in the days
    before the school festival.
[21:28] ---
    There weren't any plays in the festival
    that they might have been in,
[21:32] ---
    so I wonder who they were.
[21:36] ---
    North High Fest
[21:38] ---
    Screening in progress
[21:38] ---
    The movie ended with Haruhi doing some narration.
[21:42] ---
    I convinced her to close the movie
    with a director's speech
[21:45] ---
    by telling her it was important
[21:45] ---
    This story is fictional.
[21:46] ---
    to mention that it was all in fun.
[21:46] ---
    Characters, organizations, incidents...
[21:48] ---
    Those were the magic words
[21:49] ---
    that cancelled out everything.
[21:49] ---
    ...other proper names, and events are not real.
[21:53] ---
    It's all a lie.
[21:54] ---
    Even if there's a resemblance, it's coincidence.
[21:57] ---
    Oh, not the ads.
[21:59] ---
    Support Ohmori Electronics and
    Yamatsuchi Model Shop. Buy lots.
[22:05] ---
    Say it again?
[22:08] ---
    This story is fictional.
[22:10] ---
    Characters, organizations, incidents...
[22:13] ---
    Hey, Kyon, why do I have to say that?
[22:18] ---
    Kitaguchi Station-front Park
[22:20] ---
    If there's one thing that bothers Haruhi
    in spite of her devil-may-care attitude,
[22:24] ---
    it's that "the world is too normal."
[22:28] ---
    As for what she considers to be "not normal,"
    it would be the supernatural.
[22:35] ---
    She expresses this by saying things like,
[22:38] ---
    "Why haven't I seen even
    a single ghost? What's up with that?"
[22:43] ---
    I've got something important
    to tell you, so listen closely.
[22:46] ---
    What is it?
[22:47] ---
    You want there to be aliens, future people,
[22:50] ---
    and people with esper powers, right?
[22:53] ---
    Well, yeah. What about it?
[22:55] ---
    There actually are aliens,
    future people, and espers,
[22:59] ---
    closer than you could ever imagine.
[23:02] ---
    Really, and who would they be?
[23:05] ---
    Don't tell me that you mean
    Yuki or Mikuru or Koizumi.
[23:10] ---
    They wouldn't count as
    "closer than I could imagine."
[23:14] ---
    Umm, actually...
    That was what I was going to say.
[23:22] ---
    Are you stupid?
    There's no way it would be that easy.
[23:29] ---
    Well, if you think about it, that's true.
[23:34] ---
    Okay, so who's what?
[23:36] ---
    Listen and rejoice. Yuki Nagato is an alien.
[23:40] ---
    The Information something-or-other Entity?
[23:42] ---
    She's an agent for something like that.
[23:44] ---
    Oh yeah! Humanoid interface!
    That's what it was!
[23:50] ---
    What about Mikuru?
[23:51] ---
    Miss Asahina is pretty simple
    to explain. She's a future person.
[23:56] ---
    She came from the future,
    so she's a future person.
[23:59] ---
    How far in the future did she come from?
[24:01] ---
    I don't know. She wouldn't tell me.
[24:06] ---
    Aha, I get it.
[24:08] ---
    So you understand now?
[24:09] ---
    Which means that Koizumi is an esper?
    That's what you're going to say, right?
[24:15] ---
    Yes! That's exactly what I was going to say!
[24:27] ---
    Don't screw around with me!
[24:33] ---
    Why is this crazy woman
    so realistic about the weirdest things?
[24:38] ---
    If she would just believe me,
    everything would be so much easier.
[24:43] ---
    T-Thank you very much!
[24:49] ---
    Then again, if Haruhi just knew about
    all of the phenomena around her,
[24:52] ---
    I don't know what would happen to the world.
[25:01] ---
    Oh brother.
[25:03] ---
    

E25 - The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina Episode 00
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:22] ---
    SOS Brigade
[00:24] ---
    Mi-Mi-Miracle Mikurun-run.
[00:26] ---
    The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina Episode 00
[00:34] ---
    Even you who can't honestly
    say that you're in love...
[00:40] ---
    ...gather your courage.
[00:45] ---
    A magical spell of love, the Mikuru Beam.
[00:51] ---
    I'll cast it on you.
[00:56] ---
    A precocious cupid
    arriving from the future...
[01:02] ---
    ...always carrying everyone their dreams.
[01:07] ---
    Alone at night, making a wish to the stars.
[01:13] ---
    "I hope that I can see
    you-know-who tomorrow."
[01:20] ---
    Come on, let's dance.
    Come on, let's dance, baby.
[01:25] ---
    When you wipe the tears
    away and start to run...
[01:31] ---
    Come on, let's dance.
    Come on, let's dance, baby.
[01:36] ---
    To the ends of the sky,
    a special generation.
[01:48] ---
    Romantic, magical Mikuru-run.
[01:59] ---
    Iwaigawa Shopping Strip
[02:03] ---
    Morimura Produce
[02:04] ---
    Her name is Mikuru Asahina.
[02:06] ---
    One Head of Napa Cabbage HALF PRICE!!
[02:07] ---
    A normal, admirable yet cute girl...
[02:10] ---
    ...she's actually a battling
    waitress from the future.
[02:14] ---
    Why one from the future
    is a waitress is a trivial question.
[02:18] ---
    Stories, as soon as they're told...
[02:21] ---
    ...always force
    strange settings down your throat.
[02:25] ---
    Sorry to bother you when you're in a rush.
[02:29] ---
    We have lots of good,
    fresh napa cabbage in stock today!
[02:34] ---
    Starting now, for one hour only...
[02:36] ---
    ...we're holding a half-price special!
[02:40] ---
    By the way, I mentioned a battling waitress...
[02:43] ---
    ...so why's she suddenly
    wearing a bunny-girl outfit?
[02:47] ---
    She survives day-to-day
    with her part-time promotion job...
[02:51] ---
    ...in the local shopping strip.
[02:53] ---
    Oh, the napa cabbage is cheap today.
[03:00] ---
    Let's hurry and buy them.
[03:04] ---
    Mikuru, you're giving your all again today!
[03:07] ---
    Y-Y-Yeah! I'm doing my best!
[03:10] ---
    She answers brightly in her
    "trying too hard" costume.
[03:13] ---
    Her innocent charm
    sold the napa out in no time.
[03:17] ---
    Mr. Kiyozumi Morimura
[03:18] ---
    Sorry for the trouble.
[03:20] ---
    This isn't much, but take it.
[03:23] ---
    No, not at all.
[03:26] ---
    I'm the one that should apologize.
[03:30] ---
    After all, this is about all I can do.
[03:38] ---
    See you later. I need to
    head over to the butcher's now.
[03:43] ---
    Excused me.
[03:45] ---
    Excuse me!
[03:49] ---
    For this shopping strip,
    this girl was an indispensable mascot...
[03:53] ---
    ...loved by all in the neighborhood.
    You can do it, Mikuru.
[03:57] ---
    Bring back patrons who flocked
    to the megamart that opened last year.
[04:02] ---
    The area's livelihood and the cozy
    shops' fate are on your shoulders.
[04:08] ---
    However, it has nothing to do with her real job.
[04:16] ---
    About her real job...
    She's a battling waitress, of course.
[04:20] ---
    Further, her objective is to watch
    over one boy from the shadows.
[04:26] ---
    The boy's name is Itsuki Koizumi.
[04:29] ---
    He looks like a plain, upbeat
    high schooler, but he's really an esper.
[04:34] ---
    But he doesn't realize that at all.
[04:37] ---
    It seems his super-incredible powers
[04:40] ---
    are awakened due to
    something happening as a catalyst.
[04:48] ---
    It's like a junior whose senior
    didn't acknowledge his secret admirer.
[04:53] ---
    Let's say she's
    sighing in relief that Itsuki is safe.
[04:57] ---
    Kumai Meat Shop
[04:58] ---
    And so, Mikuru finishes her scantily clad work...
[05:02] ---
    Suzuki Stationery
[05:03] ---
    ...and returns to the stationery store
[05:06] ---
    that's giving her living space.
[05:08] ---
    Mr. Yusuke Suzuki (65)
[05:11] ---
    Oh, welcome back.
[05:13] ---
    Mikuru, are you tired?
[05:15] ---
    Well, I'm fine.
[05:18] ---
    There were a lot of
    customers today. Big business!
[05:23] ---
    Oh, that's a good thing.
[05:37] ---
    Today's work is done.
[05:39] ---
    She finally takes off
    that almost nonexistent outfit...
[05:43] ---
    ...and headed to bed in casual attire.
[05:46] ---
    There are absolutely no more changing scenes...
[05:50] ---
    ...so it's useless to
    ask for the footage. I'm not kidding.
[06:00] ---
    Yuki Nagato stands with
    no warning or introduction.
[06:04] ---
    She isn't normal and
    doesn't look like an ordinary girl.
[06:08] ---
    It's expected, as she's really an evil witch.
[06:11] ---
    And an alien.
[06:14] ---
    However, to my mind, this cut...
[06:16] ---
    ...wants to show she's
    thinking something about Itsuki.
[06:20] ---
    But first, it's useless to
    stay on campus after he leaves...
[06:24] ---
    ...and it was sunset before,
    yet now it looks like daytime.
[06:28] ---
    Do what you want, but think of
    the editors when using iffy insert cuts.
[06:34] ---
    It's already Mikuru and Yuki's first battle.
[06:38] ---
    What happened between their
    first meeting and this destined duel...
[06:41] ---
    ...will be left up to
    the viewer due to various reasons.
[06:45] ---
    It's lucky if you get the gist of
    the show from what you've seen.
[06:55] ---
    Koizumi...
[06:57] ---
    Itsuki won't be someone
    you can control as you like!
[07:01] ---
    I'll protect him!
[07:11] ---
    I'll explain.
[07:13] ---
    This staff with the common
    design is Starring Inferno...
[07:16] ---
    ...a magic wand.
[07:20] ---
    T-Then I'll use my ultimate method...
[07:26] ---
    M-M-Mikuru Beam!
[07:29] ---
    I'll explain.
[07:31] ---
    Mikuru Beam is a really deadly,
    sure-win beam from her left eye.
[07:36] ---
    Cut! Cut!
[07:36] ---
    What lies at the next steep turn in the future?
[07:38] ---
    Hey, Yuki, what are you doing?
[07:41] ---
    What's Mikuru's fate? Why did Itsuki show up?
[07:41] ---
    That's not part of the script!
[07:45] ---
    Ohmori Electronics
[07:47] ---
    T-T-This shop is...
[07:49] ---
    Well...
[07:51] ---
    The manager is a really
    good person. And he's a nice guy.
[07:56] ---
    They've been around since
    current owner Eijirou's grandfather.
[08:01] ---
    Y-You can find anything from
    batteries to refrigerators here.
[08:06] ---
    U-Um, and...
[08:10] ---
    I-In any case,
    please come by Ohmori Electronics!
[08:17] ---
    Defeated in her first battle with Yuki,
    Mikuru was deep in thought.
[08:22] ---
    To think the Mikuru Beam was useless...
[08:26] ---
    I have to do something about this.
[08:33] ---
    It seems she isn't a transforming
    hero and needs to change.
[08:38] ---
    And today, she has to be diligent
    and head out to work again.
[08:44] ---
    Meanwhile...
[08:45] ---
    ...Itsuki was walking down the road
    with a blank stare as always.
[08:54] ---
    Who are you?
[08:56] ---
    I am an alien that uses magic.
[09:01] ---
    Is that so?
[09:04] ---
    Yes.
[09:05] ---
    What do you want with me?
[09:08] ---
    You have hidden powers,
    which is what I am after.
[09:14] ---
    And if I said you were a nuisance?
[09:17] ---
    Even if I had to use force,
    I would have you in my hands.
[09:23] ---
    How would you use force?
[09:25] ---
    Like this.
[09:28] ---
    Look out!
[09:31] ---
    Ouch!
[09:35] ---
    Ow...
[09:36] ---
    I-I won't let you have your way!
[09:40] ---
    For now, I will retreat.
[09:43] ---
    However, it won't be so next time.
[09:46] ---
    By then, find yourself a name for the afterlife.
[09:51] ---
    Next time, I will make sure
    to take you down with no mercy.
[10:03] ---
    And who are you?
[10:05] ---
    Um, well...
[10:06] ---
    I'm just a bunny girl
    passing through. That's all.
[10:11] ---
    Well, goodbye.
[10:19] ---
    What in the world was she?
[10:22] ---
    With an overly strange gaze,
    Itsuki watched Mikuru leave...
[10:26] ---
    What's with this pan up?
[10:29] ---
    And some plot is being omitted here.
[10:31] ---
    The flames of battle have flared again
    after this and that, probably.
[10:37] ---
    S-Something like this
    won't make me give up!
[10:40] ---
    Y-Yuki, the bad alien...
[10:44] ---
    ...leave the earth now in a mysterious manner!
[10:51] ---
    You should rid yourself from this era.
[10:54] ---
    We will claim him.
[10:58] ---
    He is of much precious value.
[11:00] ---
    As part of that,
    we will first take over the earth.
[11:04] ---
    I-I won't let you do so!
    I'm willing to risk my life for this!
[11:10] ---
    Then I shall take that life of yours.
[11:24] ---
    Miss Tsuruya, it can't be even you...
[11:27] ---
    Please get yourself back together!
[11:32] ---
    It's not convincing
    when you're dressed like that!
[11:36] ---
    Mikuru, I'm sorry.
    I'm being controlled right now.
[11:41] ---
    Here goes... Sorry.
[11:44] ---
    Some magical power or
    EM wave from Starring Inferno...
[11:49] ---
    ...turned Miss Tsuruya (and two more)
    into puppets with no will.
[11:54] ---
    She can't fight back this way.
    What will you do, Mikuru?
[12:00] ---
    She couldn't do anything.
[12:03] ---
    What's wrong?
[12:05] ---
    Please hold on to me.
[12:08] ---
    Itsuki appeared so suddenly...
    Where was he till now?
[12:13] ---
    I think he was mistakenly
    caught on tape before.
[12:16] ---
    That was cold...
[12:19] ---
    What in the world were you doing here?
[12:23] ---
    Well, um, evil people and that lake, and um...
[12:29] ---
    That's where you pass out.
[12:33] ---
    Please hold on.
[12:35] ---
    Usually, you'd call an ambulance
    or ask a passerby for help.
[12:40] ---
    But this boy hoists up the out-cold,
    pure beauty like a princess...
[12:44] ---
    ...and takes her somewhere. Damn you.
[12:47] ---
    First off, where did Yuki's gang go
    without giving the final blow?
[12:52] ---
    With mysteries and
    contradictions left untouched...
[12:56] ---
    ...this story reaches the midpoint finally.
    Wait, there's still half left?
[13:01] ---
    The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina
[13:07] ---
    This seems to be Itsuki's home.
[13:10] ---
    More troubling is how Mikuru...
[13:12] ---
    ...who's been hoisted,
    seems to have been bathed.
[13:15] ---
    Perhaps this implies
    Itsuki bathed the unconscious Mikuru...
[13:20] ---
    No, it must be.
[13:22] ---
    Then anyone's doubt would turn
    to outrage, reaching an intent to kill...
[13:28] ---
    ...but for now, I won't dwell,
    doing away with any pent-up feelings.
[13:32] ---
    Since human reality doesn't exist
[13:35] ---
    for characters that move
    in the realm of our assumptions.
[13:46] ---
    What's this out of the blue?
[13:49] ---
    Any closer, and an unexpected person
    will enter frame and kick.
[13:54] ---
    Wait there.
[13:58] ---
    Itsuki Koizumi,
    you should not be choosing her.
[14:03] ---
    When you are with me...
[14:06] ---
    ...your powers will become
    effective for the first time.
[14:11] ---
    What's that mean?
[14:12] ---
    It's no surprise that Yuki
    appeared from the window?
[14:16] ---
    What I can say now
    is that you have two choices.
[14:21] ---
    To evolve this universe
    into what it should be with me...
[14:25] ---
    ...or to pluck away all possibility
    of the future with her.
[14:30] ---
    Itsuki was seriously worried.
[14:33] ---
    But that line earlier by Nagato...
    by Yuki... was to Itsuki, right?
[14:38] ---
    I see. In any case, he...
[14:41] ---
    No, in this scene, it's me...
[14:44] ---
    ...so I am the key.
[14:46] ---
    And the key has no distinct powers.
[14:49] ---
    It's nothing but the means to open the door.
[14:52] ---
    When that door is opened,
    something will change.
[14:55] ---
    And I believe what will change is...
[15:01] ---
    I understand that, Yuki.
[15:03] ---
    But I have no right to decide now.
[15:06] ---
    I believe it's too early for me to decide.
[15:09] ---
    How about we compromise and delay it?
[15:12] ---
    We definitely need
    more time to think things out.
[15:16] ---
    Things might be different
    if you all decide to tell the whole truth.
[15:21] ---
    Such a time is not so distant.
[15:24] ---
    But now is surely not the time either.
[15:27] ---
    Our habits regard a lack of
    information as more an obstacle.
[15:33] ---
    At the stage of "possibilities,"
    we cannot take definite decisions.
[15:38] ---
    You could call this
    cryptic chat "setting the plot"...
[15:42] ---
    ...but a strange common ground
    seems to have been formed.
[15:47] ---
    Yamatsuchi Model Shop
[15:49] ---
    T-This model store opened for business last year...
[15:54] ---
    ...after Mr. Keiji Yamatsuchi,
    age 28, left his corporate job.
[15:58] ---
    It's like his hobbies took over
    his actions, and he just did it.
[16:03] ---
    And as many thought,
    sales haven't met expectations...
[16:07] ---
    The first-half earnings this year
    are down 80% from last year...
[16:16] ---
    So shop as much as you can, everyone!
[16:23] ---
    You want me to hold it?
[16:31] ---
    D-Don't shoot while pointing at people!
[16:34] ---
    Hold off by shooting things like empty cans!
[16:37] ---
    You want me to shoot?
[16:44] ---
    You've probably lost interest
    in following the story...
[16:48] ---
    ...but there's a sudden twist.
[16:50] ---
    Mikuru and Itsuki start living together.
[16:53] ---
    It's like a bride drama series...
[16:56] ---
    ...which makes you wonder
    about the sci-fi battle scenes.
[17:00] ---
    Are they quickening the pace of
    the mid-story with moe [turn-on] aspects?
[17:07] ---
    Anyway, who's this?
[17:07] ---
    Now, Shamy, introduce yourself!
[17:10] ---
    Itsuki's sister?
[17:10] ---
    Hi! Ta-dah...
[17:11] ---
    Wasn't this cat on Yuki's shoulder before?
[17:12] ---
    I'm Shamy! Nice to meet you!
[17:15] ---
    Meanwhile, not wanting to lose...
[17:17] ---
    ...Yuki unbelievably transfers
    into Itsuki's high school.
[17:22] ---
    Yuki attempts to use
    sex appeal to ensnare Itsuki.
[17:27] ---
    But it seems she's
    going after him fair and square...
[17:31] ---
    Is it just me?
[17:39] ---
    Eventually, Mikuru also
    transfers into the same high school.
[17:45] ---
    The quip that she should've infiltrated
[17:47] ---
    his school long ago
    to look over him is to no avail.
[17:51] ---
    Yuki and Mikuru's battles
    heat up into love-comedy ones.
[17:55] ---
    Now it's nothing more than a love triangle.
[18:00] ---
    On the other hand,
    they seem to have a cease-fire at school...
[18:05] ---
    ...or they're reminded of their true natures.
[18:08] ---
    They pretend to be
    battling waitress and alien magician...
[18:11] ---
    ...and engage in cheap-ass battles.
[18:14] ---
    What will happen now?
    Even I, the cameraman, don't know.
[18:18] ---
    It's a mudslinging battle that has
    no way at all to be breathtaking.
[18:31] ---
    And this childlike, schizophrenic
    story reaches its final stage.
[18:36] ---
    Let's settle the score.
[18:37] ---
    I assume the director...
[18:39] ---
    ...felt an end had to be
    reached one way or another.
[18:43] ---
    It feels too late, but in any case,
    Yuki called for a final showdown.
[18:48] ---
    I see.
[18:49] ---
    What did she just get?
[18:52] ---
    What's wrong? It's like
    you have a middle-aged stalker.
[18:56] ---
    Did the doctor diagnose you
    with athlete's foot?
[19:01] ---
    The time has finally come.
[19:03] ---
    I must head out to the final battle now.
[19:08] ---
    That's amazing.
[19:09] ---
    It's up to you, Mikuru.
    I entrust the earth...
[19:13] ---
    I hate nitpicking so repeatedly,
[19:15] ---
    I'll do my best...
[19:15] ---
    but it's normal to think...
[19:18] ---
    ...that they met when Mikuru
    transferred into the high school.
[19:22] ---
    So having Tsuruya in
    the lake battle scene before...
[19:25] ---
    ...was a storyboard error, right?
[19:28] ---
    And when you're at a loss for filler,
    you take shots of the sky, right?
[19:33] ---
    Anyway, it's finally the climax scene.
[19:36] ---
    Let us settle the final score once and for all.
[19:40] ---
    We don't have much time left anymore.
[19:44] ---
    We must end all this during lunch break.
[19:47] ---
    That last part alone, I must agree with, but...
[19:51] ---
    ...I'm sure that Itsuki will say
    that he's going to choose me!
[19:55] ---
    That's what I believe!
[19:57] ---
    Unfortunately for you, I do not
    intend to recognize his free will.
[20:02] ---
    I will have his powers.
[20:05] ---
    Am I the only one who thinks,
    "Then go and grab him"?
[20:09] ---
    I won't let you do that!
[20:12] ---
    That's why I came all the way from the future!
[20:40] ---
    Mikuru, you have to fight back!
[20:42] ---
    Hey, what...
[20:43] ---
    The conflict with the teacher over
    fireworks and firecrackers aside...
[20:48] ---
    ...Mikuru has finally been cornered.
[20:51] ---
    It's so high...
[20:54] ---
    It is time for you to give in now.
    Prepare yourself for doom.
[21:00] ---
    Yuki's final blow assaults Mikuru.
[21:03] ---
    There are visual problems...
[21:05] ---
    ...but it can't be more thrilling,
    so I'd like you to use your imagination.
[21:10] ---
    It's a life-or-death crisis.
    What will you do, Mikuru?
[21:17] ---
    Are you all right?
[21:19] ---
    Yuki, enough. Stop it.
[21:23] ---
    You needn't think.
[21:25] ---
    Just do away with that boy's thoughts.
[21:25] ---
    Hey, Shamisen, don't speak! Don't speak!
[21:28] ---
    From the look of it,
    you have such powers, don't you?
[21:33] ---
    Ow.
[21:34] ---
    That was ventriloquism.
[21:38] ---
    Take this, Itsuki Koizumi.
[21:41] ---
    Your thoughts will be under my command.
[21:51] ---
    How regretful.
[21:58] ---
    It's all over, Miss Asahina.
[22:05] ---
    Itsuki's unexplainable
    potential powers awakened...
[22:08] ---
    ...and Yuki was hurled to universe's end.
[22:12] ---
    The world's regained peace.
[22:14] ---
    Thank you, Mikuru Asahina.
    Thank you, Itsuki Koizumi.
[22:17] ---
    All's well that ends well.
[22:21] ---
    A pan up at the end too?
[22:30] ---
    This story is fictional.
[22:32] ---
    Characters, organizations, incidents...
[22:35] ---
    ...other proper names, and events are not real.
[22:39] ---
    It's all a lie.
[22:40] ---
    Even if there's a resemblance, it's coincidence.
[22:44] ---
    Oh, not the ads.
[22:45] ---
    Support Ohmori Electronics
[22:46] ---
    Audio/Visual Room
[22:46] ---
    and Yamatsuchi Model Shop. Buy lots.
[22:50] ---
    Screening! Do not enter!
[22:50] ---
    SOS Brigade
[22:52] ---
    Say it again?
[22:54] ---
    This story is fictional.
[22:56] ---
    Characters, organizations, incidents...
[22:59] ---
    Hey, Kyon, why do I have to say that?
[23:03] ---
    It's done!
[23:03] ---
    It's obvious.
[23:05] ---
    Ultra Director
[23:09] ---
    It's great work!
[23:10] ---
    "Impossible" isn't in the SOS
    Brigade's dictionary! Right, Kyon?
[23:15] ---
    This will be shown to the masses?
[23:19] ---
    This'll get a full house
    from the arts festival's first day!
[23:23] ---
    I wish we charged admission.
    Maybe I'll ask the film club.
[23:27] ---
    I'll forget the arts festival today
[23:27] ---
    We'll recoup production costs
[23:29] ---
    and take a nap somewhere.
[23:29] ---
    and have funding for the next film!
[23:31] ---
    Right, Kyon?
[23:32] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
[23:40] ---
    If we figured out the globe
    like we would a riddle...
[23:46] ---
    ...we could all go anywhere together.
[23:49] ---
    To the end of time, BOOOON!
[23:52] ---
    This feeling that is a warp and a loop.
[23:56] ---
    With an imagination that engulfs
    anything and everything, let's play.
[24:02] ---
    Something on one sunny day,
    more fun than any magic possible...
[24:07] ---
    ...endlessly pours down. It's not impossible.
[24:13] ---
    When we meet again tomorrow,
    we're all humming as we smile.
[24:18] ---
    Let's gather happiness. Such a thing is so easy.
[24:24] ---
    Chase after me. Try to catch it.
[24:29] ---
    A big dream... You like dreams, right?

E26 - Live Alive
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:22] ---
    SOS Brigade
[00:24] ---
    Mi-Mi-Miracle Mikurun-run.
[00:26] ---
    The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina Episode 00
[00:34] ---
    The silly, surreal movie
[00:34] ---
    Even you who can't honestly...
[00:36] ---
    created by a zany director/producer...
[00:38] ---
    ...saw its completion thanks to
    an all-night editing process.
[00:44] ---
    The SOS Brigade was welcoming
    a serene arts festival opening day.
[00:49] ---
    Luckily, Haruhi was volunteering
    to do all planning and promotion...
[00:55] ---
    ...so after I gave the finished DVD
    to the film club, who's showing it...
[00:59] ---
    ...I've been wandering
    with a cloudless conscience...
[01:02] ---
    North High
[01:02] ---
    ...enjoying the festival with a sleep-deprived head.
[01:07] ---
    Though there was one important duty
[01:09] ---
    that I couldn't avoid.
[01:09] ---
    Yakisoba Café Acorn Discount Ticket
[01:17] ---
    The answer is always in my heart.
[01:24] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
[01:31] ---
    I don't know why, but I chose you.
[01:38] ---
    It won't stop now. Mr. Destiny deemed it so.
[01:44] ---
    I believe it's boring to just mimic.
[01:50] ---
    You'll be right, so I'll do what I feel as I feel it.
[01:59] ---
    It's an adventure, right, right?
[02:01] ---
    In this world where truth becomes fiction.
[02:06] ---
    We become stronger
    because we have dreams...
[02:10] ---
    ...not for the sake of someone.
[02:13] ---
    Please come with me.
[02:16] ---
    See me and my endlessly free self.
[02:22] ---
    Today's present that becomes
    tomorrow's past is the miracle.
[02:28] ---
    Let's grab the future.
[02:34] ---
    I believe you...
[02:43] ---
    Unlike my lethargic class
[02:44] ---
    that settled on an all-campus survey...
[02:44] ---
    Live Alive
[02:47] ---
    ...Nagato, Koizumi, and Miss Asahina
    were toiling on their works.
[02:52] ---
    1-6 Fortunetelling House We'll Tell It Straight!
[02:53] ---
    You'll buy soft serve
    in 5 minutes, 15 seconds...
[02:57] ---
    ...drop it in 5 minutes, 28 seconds...
[03:00] ---
    ...hit your head on a sign
    in 7 minutes, 6 seconds...
[03:02] ---
    ...and cause your girlfriend to fall.
[03:05] ---
    Her bag's contents will be scattered...
[03:07] ---
    ...leading to a quarrel in 7 minutes, 51 seconds.
[03:07] ---
    Nagato, take it easy.
[03:10] ---
    In 10 minutes...
[03:10] ---
    Fortunetelling and prediction are different.
[03:12] ---
    1-9 Class Play Rosencrantz & Guildenstern
[03:14] ---
    Now, this world...
[03:16] ---
    ...in other words, nature,
    is governed by probability.
[03:19] ---
    Yet right now it's hard to say
    the theory of probability stands.
[03:24] ---
    Then it's more natural to think this way.
[03:27] ---
    That we're now in the supernatural...
[03:30] ---
    ...far away from what's considered natural.
[03:33] ---
    For instance, if there are six mice
[03:35] ---
    and we toss them in the air.
[03:35] ---
    What is this? Go on,
[03:37] ---
    Then according...
[03:37] ---
    but show us where we should laugh.
[03:39] ---
    Ring Toss
[03:42] ---
    Yo.
[03:43] ---
    Any luck?
[03:45] ---
    Not too much.
[03:47] ---
    Just the Ping-Pong club's ice cream.
[03:49] ---
    The 3-3 oden too.
[03:51] ---
    2-5 really skimped on
    the chocolate on their bananas...
[03:55] ---
    What, nothing but food?
[03:57] ---
    We're food sampling.
[03:59] ---
    Well, let's go to
    the real thing, the cosplay café.
[04:03] ---
    The bunny girl surprised me that time...
[04:05] ---
    I wonder what she'll wear now.
[04:07] ---
    Still, saying we'd be in a movie,
    then diving underwater for free...
[04:12] ---
    ...and getting 30% off
    yakisoba for getting soaked?
[04:15] ---
    What a gyp.
[04:17] ---
    Then don't come. Just go home.
[04:19] ---
    But no, I have to look at
    Miss Asahina in her cosplay glory first.
[04:23] ---
    A waitress in a tiny miniskirt like in the movie?
[04:27] ---
    Don't compare them to Haruhi's dirty mind.
[04:30] ---
    A waitress outfit handmade by her classmate...
[04:33] ---
    I look forward to this.
[04:36] ---
    Hey, Kyon and his friends!
    Over here, over here!
[04:40] ---
    Welcome! Three customers, thank you!
[04:43] ---
    Well? Don't you think this outfit looks good?
[04:47] ---
    So?
[04:49] ---
    Well, it's a packed house.
[04:52] ---
    The fish took the bait!
    It's bad, cheaply made yakisoba...
[04:56] ---
    ...but we're in demand. We're raking it in!
[04:59] ---
    I can't stop laughing!
[05:01] ---
    I'm sure it's not by chance
    that only guys are in this long line.
[05:05] ---
    Oh, that's the end of the line. Get in line.
[05:09] ---
    Please pay in advance!
[05:11] ---
    The only menu items are yakisoba and water.
[05:14] ---
    Yakisoba is 300 yen,
    and tap water is free and bottomless!
[05:18] ---
    Then here...
[05:19] ---
    Let's see... Three, right?
[05:21] ---
    Then 500 yen total! What a great deal!
[05:28] ---
    Then hold on for a second.
    Your turn will be coming shortly.
[05:34] ---
    She's so hyper...
[05:36] ---
    Is she with you and Suzumiya?
[05:38] ---
    No.
[05:40] ---
    By the way, split the change.
[05:42] ---
    So sharp.
[05:43] ---
    Miss Tsuruya's "shortly"
    was about 30 minutes.
[05:48] ---
    Sit down. Hey, three waters!
[05:48] ---
    Waiting a while, we got in the "store" at last.
[05:51] ---
    Okay!
[05:54] ---
    Welcome!
[05:55] ---
    All right!
[05:55] ---
    A dazzling, top waitress
[05:57] ---
    who'd stun a million-dollar night scene.
[06:00] ---
    It's a different glimmer than in the clubroom.
[06:03] ---
    Welcome, thank you for stopping by.
[06:09] ---
    Um...
[06:10] ---
    I'm Taniguchi!
[06:10] ---
    I'm Kunikida!
[06:12] ---
    Thanks for the movie stuff.
[06:14] ---
    I see. If they allowed photography,
[06:14] ---
    Please refrain from photography.
[06:14] ---
    Moe noodles!
[06:17] ---
    there'd be a big riot.
[06:18] ---
    I'd like to give them a good design award.
[06:21] ---
    And the two are right off the cover
[06:25] ---
    of a teens' fashion magazine...
[06:25] ---
    Please wait a moment.
[06:26] ---
    -...perfecting this already-great sight.
[06:28] ---
    Mikuru's in charge of taking tickets.
[06:31] ---
    That and clearing plates and refills.
[06:34] ---
    If she held the yakisoba,
    she might trip and dump them over!
[06:37] ---
    Impressive. She fully understands.
[06:40] ---
    In the end,
    pressured by the quick turnaround...
[06:43] ---
    ...we devoured the yakisoba in five minutes...
[06:46] ---
    ...and left feeling unsatisfied.
[06:48] ---
    3-5 Takoyaki North High Fest
[06:48] ---
    Get more desires than possible!
[06:48] ---
    What now?
[06:50] ---
    I'd like to watch the movie Kyon's group made.
[06:52] ---
    I'd like to check how I ended up.
[06:55] ---
    I don't want to see that.
[06:56] ---
    I concur, but somehow you saying so irks me.
[07:00] ---
    The yakisoba wasn't enough.
[07:03] ---
    The science club's barbecue party is next.
[07:05] ---
    You're eating more?
[07:07] ---
    But before that, let's pick up some chicks!
[07:11] ---
    Pick up?
[07:12] ---
    Go after normally dressed girls.
[07:14] ---
    If you approach a group of
    three or so, they'll tag along pretty easily.
[07:20] ---
    That's the rule I've experienced.
[07:22] ---
    What good does that do
    when the success rate's close to zero?
[07:26] ---
    I'll pass. You two can go.
[07:29] ---
    I'll pass too.
[07:30] ---
    You can try, and if it works,
    introduce me to a friend of hers.
[07:34] ---
    What? You cowards.
[07:36] ---
    It's not that.
[07:38] ---
    If a certain person saw me hitting
    on a girl, trouble would ensue...
[07:43] ---
    Um, in other words...
[07:45] ---
    Well, at least enjoy the
    arts festival. In a normal sense.
[07:49] ---
    North High Fest
[07:54] ---
    Now, where should I go?
[08:10] ---
    You saw?
[08:11] ---
    I saw. It was so funny.
[08:17] ---
    A wind concert in the lecture hall...
[08:19] ---
    ...and a battle of the bands
    with the rock club and attendees.
[08:22] ---
    Bottles
[08:23] ---
    Since I can stay seated...
[08:25] ---
    ...it's the perfect place
    to rest this sleep-deprived body.
[09:04] ---
    ♪ World expo between you! ♪
[09:06] ---
    ♪ Throw that pike!
    We're not anti-aging! ♪
[09:08] ---
    ♪ W-W-W-W-Whaling, just say no!
    Another tape measure for tonight! ♪
[09:12] ---
    And we're BANDAGE! Thank you!
[09:21] ---
    Next up is the rock club's ENOZ.
[09:21] ---
    Rock Club: ENOZ
[09:43] ---
    W-What is that?
[09:46] ---
    North High Fest
[09:53] ---
    What's she doing?
[10:04] ---
    North High Fest THE LIVE
[10:34] ---
    ♪ Blazing by with a parched heart. ♪
[10:40] ---
    ♪ I'm sorry I can't do anything. ♪
[10:47] ---
    ♪ Even sharing the pain... ♪
[10:53] ---
    ♪ ...is something that
    you wouldn't allow. ♪
[10:59] ---
    ♪ To live an innocent life
    without looking back. ♪
[11:06] ---
    ♪ You turn your back to me
    and leave on the lonely rail. ♪
[11:11] ---
    ♪ I'll follow you. ♪
[11:14] ---
    ♪ Even in the toughest of
    all the world's shadows... ♪
[11:19] ---
    ♪ ...I'm sure you'll glimmer
    and cross over future's edge. ♪
[11:26] ---
    ♪ Making sure the soul doesn't
    break from its frailness. ♪
[11:31] ---
    ♪ My way, right now
    it overlaps upon the two. ♪
[11:38] ---
    ♪ God bless... ♪
[11:41] ---
    ♪ You are here. I am here. ♪
[11:46] ---
    ♪ Everyone else has disappeared. ♪
[11:53] ---
    ♪ Drawing the beauty of the pale dream... ♪
[12:02] ---
    ♪ ...I trace the scar with my finger! ♪
[12:07] ---
    ♪ So I will follow you. ♪
[12:11] ---
    ♪ Even in the toughest of
    all the world's shadows... ♪
[12:16] ---
    ♪ ...I'm sure you'll glimmer
    and cross over future's edge. ♪
[12:24] ---
    ♪ Making sure the soul doesn't
    break from its frailness. ♪
[12:29] ---
    ♪ My way, right now
    it overlaps upon the two. ♪
[12:35] ---
    ♪ God bless... ♪
[13:16] ---
    Miss Suzumiya is very good.
[13:19] ---
    Miss Nagato too.
[13:20] ---
    What's with that outfit?
[13:22] ---
    I hurried over here...
[13:24] ---
    The rumor in the student council...
[13:26] ---
    ...was that Miss Suzumiya was
    doing something in the lecture hall.
[13:30] ---
    And that something is this?
[13:32] ---
    Well, every...
[13:34] ---
    Everyone, this is ENOZ.
[13:36] ---
    It's an acronym for Enomoto,
    Nakanishi, Okajima, Zaizen...
[13:40] ---
    ...the members' last names, it seems.
[13:44] ---
    But unfortunately...
[13:45] ---
    ...Enomoto and Nakanishi
    couldn't make it onstage today.
[13:49] ---
    Yuki here and I are subs, not actual members.
[13:53] ---
    Sorry about this.
[13:54] ---
    Then I'll introduce the actual members.
[13:58] ---
    Mizuki on drums!
[14:03] ---
    And Mai on bass!
[14:10] ---
    And the subs, Yuki on guitar!
[14:14] ---
    And I'm substitute vocals.
[14:17] ---
    The guitar's just hanging here though.
[14:19] ---
    And I'm not sure the vocals are good.
[14:22] ---
    I only had an hour to see the
    sheet music till now, so it's on the fly.
[14:30] ---
    Let's see. For those who
    want to listen to the real song...
[14:34] ---
    ...with real vocals and guitar,
    come to us after.
[14:37] ---
    If they bring a MiniDisc,
    why not let them dub the songs for free?
[14:43] ---
    How's that?
[14:44] ---
    Okay, it's a deal.
[14:48] ---
    Then one more.
[14:50] ---
    We had no time and only prepared
    two songs. So this is the last.
[14:54] ---
    You might not be satisfied,
    but we'll play our hearts out, so listen!
[14:59] ---
    Then here we go.
    "Lost my music."
[15:14] ---
    ♪ Looking up at the sky... ♪
[15:17] ---
    ♪ Teach me the light meant just for me... ♪
[15:24] ---
    ♪ Right now, where are you? ♪
[15:27] ---
    ♪ And who are you with right now? ♪
[15:33] ---
    ♪ Thinking about how
    you must be having fun... ♪
[15:38] ---
    ♪ ...it makes me lonely. ♪
[15:43] ---
    ♪ That movie we saw together... ♪
[15:46] ---
    ♪ ...is playing in
    the background as I sit alone. ♪
[15:51] ---
    ♪ The person I love is far away... ♪
[15:56] ---
    ♪ So far away it makes me want to cry. ♪
[16:01] ---
    ♪ When I wake up tomorrow... ♪
[16:05] ---
    ♪ See, hope may be born. Good night! ♪
[16:11] ---
    ♪ I still, I still, I love you. ♪
[16:13] ---
    ♪ I'm waiting, waiting forever. ♪
[16:16] ---
    ♪ I still, I still, I love you. ♪
[16:18] ---
    ♪ I can't stop it! ♪
[16:23] ---
    I'd hear the whole story later.
[16:25] ---
    I ran out of movie fliers
    and was heading to the clubroom.
[16:30] ---
    By the shoeboxes, that band and
    the North High Festival Committee...
[16:34] ---
    ...were fighting over
    if the band would go onstage.
[16:38] ---
    Vocalist Enomoto was hospitalized
    the night before for tonsillitis...
[16:42] ---
    ...and guitarist Nakanishi
    tripped on that day, spraining her wrist...
[16:46] ---
    ...so the two couldn't perform.
[16:48] ---
    Miss Nakanishi, a senior,
    wanted to go since it was her last festival.
[16:53] ---
    And their songs are original too.
[16:55] ---
    But in the end, she was taken
    off campus to check her wrist...
[16:59] ---
    So you rolled up
    your sleeves and stepped in.
[17:02] ---
    I wasn't wearing sleeves though.
[17:05] ---
    Well, if I were them, I'd perform
    out of sheer will, voiceless or armless.
[17:10] ---
    No doubt.
[17:11] ---
    But looking at Miss Nakanishi then,
    I felt they were helpless.
[17:16] ---
    Don't you feel sorry for
    the members who could perform?
[17:19] ---
    They practiced so hard for this day.
[17:23] ---
    So I said this: "If that's the case,
    shall I go on as a sub?"
[17:28] ---
    I'm surprised the
    remaining members allowed it.
[17:31] ---
    I said just singing,
    and Miss Okajima and Miss Zaizen said...
[17:35] ---
    ... "If it's you, we could do it."
[17:37] ---
    I was in the rock club on a trial basis once...
[17:40] ---
    They might've recalled that.
[17:42] ---
    Her quirks and oddness may be famous...
[17:45] ---
    ...but she's also known as the
    all-purpose "super-utility player."
[17:50] ---
    Playing the guitar too would've
    been better, but we didn't have time.
[17:55] ---
    I had to go over the sheet music.
    I could only get the main chords.
[17:59] ---
    And Nagato...
[18:00] ---
    Right, I barged in on her fortunetelling...
[18:03] ---
    ...explained, and she came right away.
[18:06] ---
    Did you know she's rather dexterous?
[18:09] ---
    She just did a once-over and played perfectly!
[18:12] ---
    I wonder where she learned to play?
[18:15] ---
    Probably the moment you brought it up.
[18:18] ---
    Say, there are guests here.
[18:21] ---
    For Miss Suzumiya.
[18:30] ---
    Go talk to them.
[18:35] ---
    Come with me.
[18:39] ---
    Your tonsillitis is better now?
[18:41] ---
    Yes, much.
[18:42] ---
    And your wrist?
[18:43] ---
    It might take a while.
    Studying for college entrance is tough.
[18:47] ---
    Thank you, Miss Suzumiya.
[18:52] ---
    It's amazing. Requests for
    the original recording flooded in!
[18:57] ---
    We can't keep up with the dubbing.
[18:59] ---
    We're surprised at the sheer number.
[19:02] ---
    It's all thanks to you.
[19:05] ---
    Our songs didn't go to waste
    this way. We're really grateful.
[19:10] ---
    You were great.
[19:12] ---
    This festival is my last rock club memory,
    so I wanted to perform...
[19:17] ---
    But this was several times
    better than canceling.
[19:20] ---
    I see...
[19:21] ---
    We'd like to do something in return...
[19:24] ---
    It's okay.
[19:25] ---
    I had a good time, and they were good songs.
[19:28] ---
    I'd feel bad to get more on top of that.
[19:31] ---
    Before that, tell Yuki.
    I forced her to play after all.
[19:35] ---
    We just stopped by.
[19:37] ---
    She just nodded once and
    pointed towards this classroom.
[19:41] ---
    I see.
[19:42] ---
    We'll play live somewhere
    before we graduate.
[19:45] ---
    If you'd like, come watch us.
    Together with...
[19:48] ---
    ...your "friend."
[19:51] ---
    Since then, Haruhi wore
    a very complicated look.
[19:54] ---
    And when lunch break came, she hurried out.
[19:58] ---
    Really, there wasn't a decent girl
    visiting the arts festival.
[20:02] ---
    I think this school is built in the wrong place.
[20:05] ---
    We'd get more if it were flatter.
[20:14] ---
    After lunch, I wanted to walk
    and settle my stomach for some reason.
[20:18] ---
    No, there was no particular reason.
[20:28] ---
    Yo.
[20:39] ---
    What is it?
[20:48] ---
    We had no time,
    so we made a simpler arrangement.
[20:52] ---
    Of course people want to
    listen to the real thing.
[20:56] ---
    The MD requests, huh?
[20:58] ---
    Yeah.
[21:00] ---
    But that was some performance,
    on the fly and all.
[21:03] ---
    Don't you think it was good publicity?
[21:06] ---
    If I had one more day,
    I could've made proper preparations.
[21:13] ---
    There's a bit of me asking
    if something like that was enough...
[21:18] ---
    How do you put it?
[21:20] ---
    I felt I was doing something at that moment.
[21:31] ---
    Somehow, I can't calm down. I wonder why?
[21:34] ---
    Like I'd know.
[21:37] ---
    You know, it's because you're
    not used to being thanked.
[21:43] ---
    You always do things
    nobody'd ever give their thanks to.
[21:47] ---
    What?
[21:49] ---
    You have something to say? If so, spill it.
[21:52] ---
    I'm sure it's nothing though.
[21:54] ---
    Keeping quiet isn't good
    for your mental health.
[21:58] ---
    It's nothing.
[22:04] ---
    Jeez!
[22:09] ---
    Hey, play any instruments?
[22:11] ---
    No.
[22:12] ---
    We can make do with practice.
[22:14] ---
    After all, we have a whole year.
[22:17] ---
    Come on...
[22:18] ---
    We should enter next year's
    North High Fest as a band.
[22:22] ---
    I'm the vocalist, Yuki's the guitarist...
[22:25] ---
    ...and Mikuru can hold a tambourine
    and be stage decoration.
[22:29] ---
    No, no...
[22:30] ---
    We have that movie sequel too.
[22:33] ---
    Yeah, next year'll be really busy.
[22:35] ---
    After all, your goals
    should always outscore last year's!
[22:40] ---
    Wait, wait...
[22:40] ---
    Now, let's go, Kyon.
[22:42] ---
    Where to?
[22:43] ---
    To gather materials.
[22:46] ---
    To the rock club clubroom. If we go,
    they'll have junk lying around.
[22:50] ---
    To ask them and
    Miss Nakanishi how to compose.
[22:53] ---
    Don't worry. I'll write, compose,
    produce, and choreograph.
[22:58] ---
    Not right now.
[22:59] ---
    What do you mean? A year'll fly by!
[23:02] ---
    And choreograph? Isn't it a band?
[23:04] ---
    We need it.
    We'll create a new image for bands!
[23:08] ---
    Aren't you confusing pop idols with a band?
[23:18] ---
    If we figured out the globe
    like we would a riddle...
[23:24] ---
    ...we could all go anywhere together.
[23:27] ---
    To the end of time, BOOOON!
[23:30] ---
    This feeling that is a warp and a loop.
[23:34] ---
    With an imagination that engulfs
    anything and everything, let's play.
[23:40] ---
    Something on one sunny day,
    more fun than any magic possible...
[23:45] ---
    ...endlessly pours down. It's not impossible.
[23:51] ---
    When we meet again tomorrow,
    we're all humming as we smile.
[23:57] ---
    Let's gather happiness. Such a thing is so easy.
[24:02] ---
    Chase after me. Try to catch it.
[24:07] ---
    A big dream... You like dreams, right?

E27 - The Day of Sagittarius
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:23] ---
    Lady Suzumiya,
    we have the scout fleet reports.
[00:27] ---
    We've found the enemy fleet.
[00:29] ---
    The enemy fleet is at ecliptic 8:20.
[00:32] ---
    Distance: 6.3 AU...
[00:34] ---
    ...and approaching at 60% of light speed.
[00:38] ---
    Total number is roughly 15,000 ships.
[00:41] ---
    They're here.
[00:42] ---
    We're going to annihilate them!
    All ships, battle stations!
[00:47] ---
    Aye aye, ma'am. All ships to battle stations.
[00:50] ---
    All reactors to combat output.
[00:52] ---
    Propulsion to initial battle speed.
[00:54] ---
    Three, two, one, ignition.
[00:58] ---
    S-Supergravitational torpedo?
    Begin loading all cannons.
[01:03] ---
    That and the superpro... proton cannon?
[01:07] ---
    Um, a-all cannons to fireable status!
[01:10] ---
    Starting electronic warfare.
    Range boosters maxed.
[01:13] ---
    All ECM and ECCMs are operational.
[01:16] ---
    Okay, all ships at full speed!
[01:19] ---
    Hey, Haruhi, isn't it better to pull back a bit?
[01:23] ---
    Your fleet's out too far.
[01:25] ---
    I want to blast beams
    and missiles at the enemy too!
[01:29] ---
    In shogi or chess, the king never
    tramples into enemy territory.
[01:34] ---
    You have a point there...
[01:37] ---
    Then you guys do something.
[01:40] ---
    Find the enemy leader and bombard him.
[01:43] ---
    Win for sure.
[01:45] ---
    Take those worthless computer
    club fools and thrash them to bits!
[01:53] ---
    Wouldn't it be better
    to hurry and raise the white flag?
[01:56] ---
    Well, I guess that's out of the question.
[02:05] ---
    The answer is always in my heart.
[02:12] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
[02:20] ---
    I don't know why, but I chose you.
[02:26] ---
    It won't stop now. Mr. Destiny deemed it so.
[02:32] ---
    I believe it's boring to just mimic.
[02:39] ---
    You'll be right, so I'll do what I feel as I feel it.
[02:47] ---
    It's an adventure, right, right?
[02:49] ---
    In this world where truth becomes fiction.
[02:54] ---
    We become stronger
    because we have dreams...
[02:58] ---
    ...not for the sake of someone.
[03:01] ---
    Please come with me.
[03:04] ---
    See me and my endlessly free self.
[03:10] ---
    Today's present that becomes
    tomorrow's past is the miracle.
[03:16] ---
    Let's grab the future.
[03:22] ---
    I believe you...
[03:31] ---
    One Week Ago
[03:32] ---
    The season is autumn.
[03:34] ---
    The arts festival
    somehow ended well days ago.
[03:37] ---
    The campus regained its calm.
[03:39] ---
    In other words, plain,
    everyday life had started again...
[03:42] ---
    "The Day of Sagittarius"
    ...though I should hold off calling the time...
[03:42] ---
    The Day of Sagittarius
[03:45] ---
    ...after school in SOS Brigade HQ "plain."
[03:49] ---
    Spending a relaxing time with
    a future girl, an alien, and an esper...
[03:53] ---
    ...and keeping sane and objective
    must make me a big shot.
[03:58] ---
    Maybe Lacan'll scout me.
[04:01] ---
    You seem terribly worried.
[04:03] ---
    Not really.
[04:07] ---
    I'm impressed that I adapted
    in this irrational space normally.
[04:15] ---
    Then should I give you some words of praise?
[04:19] ---
    You praising me won't please me.
[04:21] ---
    It'll just make me worry
    that you have ulterior motives.
[04:25] ---
    True enough.
[04:27] ---
    Sorry to make you wait.
[04:29] ---
    I bought some stem tea called karigane...
[04:32] ---
    I hope I brewed it well.
[04:35] ---
    No, if Miss Asahina's
    divine hands put it forth...
[04:38] ---
    ...even tap water is better
    than thawed snow from the Alps.
[04:43] ---
    Please savor it.
[04:46] ---
    Say, where's Miss Suzumiya?
[04:47] ---
    In charge of cleanup.
[04:50] ---
    When she's not around, it sure is peaceful...
[04:56] ---
    Yes, coming.
[05:01] ---
    The computer club chief...
[05:04] ---
    The brigade leader is out?
[05:07] ---
    What is it?
[05:10] ---
    I'd like you to accept this first.
[05:14] ---
    Inside is game software.
[05:17] ---
    It's an original we developed in our club.
[05:20] ---
    We exhibited it at the festival,
    but perhaps you didn't see?
[05:24] ---
    I don't recall.
[05:25] ---
    The only festival memory I want...
[05:28] ---
    ...is Miss Asahina's yakisoba café costume.
[05:31] ---
    I see. Perhaps the location was bad...
[05:35] ---
    So what do you want?
[05:37] ---
    That's right.
[05:38] ---
    We'd like to challenge you to that game!
[05:41] ---
    A duel! A duel using a game!
[05:44] ---
    A serious duel.
[05:46] ---
    We want to duel you!
[05:47] ---
    Please, don't repeat the word
[05:48] ---
    A duel, a duel!
[05:48] ---
    "duel"  so many times.
[05:50] ---
    The long strife between us will come to an end...
[05:50] ---
    If Haruhi's ultrasharp ears hear...
[05:55] ---
    Chief!
[05:56] ---
    A duel? Who are you, anyway?
[06:00] ---
    A secret syndicate that my
    SOS Brigade is in the way of.
[06:05] ---
    You won't succeed.
[06:06] ---
    It's a hero's duty to destroy evil
    and shine light on dark shadows.
[06:11] ---
    Haruhi, listen before you kick them.
[06:15] ---
    Kyon, a duel is a duel
    from the moment it's mentioned.
[06:19] ---
    Whatever the loser says is just excuses!
[06:22] ---
    Wait. The guys from next door?
[06:25] ---
    Why'd they come to pick a fight?
[06:27] ---
    That's exactly what they were about to explain.
[06:31] ---
    Oh, really?
[06:34] ---
    The SOS Brigade's so unfair...
[06:37] ---
    In any case, we the computer club
    challenge you to a duel!
[06:41] ---
    A duel, huh?
[06:43] ---
    Chief!
[06:45] ---
    I'd like to move the story forward already.
[06:48] ---
    So what is it?
[06:50] ---
    Play our game against us,
    and if we win, we'd like it returned.
[06:54] ---
    Returned? What?
[06:56] ---
    If you're not using it, give the PC back!
[06:59] ---
    I'm using it.
[07:01] ---
    We edited the movie with this too.
[07:04] ---
    I did that.
[07:05] ---
    Made a homepage.
[07:07] ---
    Me again.
[07:08] ---
    You haven't updated
    that homepage much at all!
[07:12] ---
    So he's the bored guy
    daily checking the site...
[07:15] ---
    The time with the camel cricket too...
[07:17] ---
    But when I said that I wanted it,
    you said you'd give it to me.
[07:22] ---
    Kyon, you recall, right?
[07:24] ---
    Was that so?
[07:24] ---
    That deal's off! I'll fight to the end!
[07:28] ---
    I can even forget the trauma
    of when my PC was abducted.
[07:33] ---
    No, I want to forget. Both of us should...
[07:37] ---
    In any case, we want you to fight us!
[07:40] ---
    Well, all right. If you want to
    that much, then we'll accept.
[07:45] ---
    So what'll you put at stake?
[07:48] ---
    Let's see...
[07:50] ---
    A new computer for each member,
    four of them in total.
[07:54] ---
    That's all right?
[07:55] ---
    Yeah.
[07:56] ---
    Really? I won't let you
    call it off in the middle, okay?
[08:00] ---
    I won't. I promise.
[08:02] ---
    What confidence.
[08:04] ---
    All right.
[08:05] ---
    You don't have girls in your club, right?
[08:09] ---
    If you win, we'll give her
    to you computer club guys.
[08:13] ---
    I'm sure you'll make use of Yuki.
[08:16] ---
    After all, four PCs at stake
    against one doesn't match up.
[08:20] ---
    No, Nagato is way different
[08:20] ---
    Well, uh, um...
[08:23] ---
    in specs compared to four PCs...
[08:25] ---
    ...though you're unaware.
[08:26] ---
    What? You want Mikuru instead?
[08:32] ---
    You be the prize.
[08:34] ---
    If you're betting, why not bet your own body?
[08:37] ---
    Don't be selfish.
[08:38] ---
    What are you talking about?
    A divine and inobtrusive figure...
[08:42] ---
    That's the SOS Brigade's leader.
[08:45] ---
    I won't give up this role
    unless it's someone I feel is "the one."
[08:49] ---
    You'll stay even after you graduate?
[08:52] ---
    So which do you prefer?
[08:55] ---
    Well...
[08:56] ---
    If you insist, well, I guess I'll have to do.
[09:00] ---
    No, I'll definitely decline that...
[09:04] ---
    The game is a five-on-five,
    online space battle simulation.
[09:08] ---
    The match is at 4:00 PM next week.
[09:11] ---
    Till then, brush up. We'll be
    disappointed if you're too weak.
[09:16] ---
    He acts like he's won.
[09:17] ---
    It's generous to pay your prize up front.
[09:20] ---
    Yup, we should have the same
    number of PCs as members.
[09:25] ---
    She acts like she's won too.
[09:28] ---
    This upcoming duel...
    For now, let's not cheat.
[09:32] ---
    Cheat?
[09:33] ---
    Alien, future, and esper cheating
    methods are prohibited this time.
[09:40] ---
    We'll fight fairly and come to a fair ending.
[09:43] ---
    That's best.
[09:44] ---
    You don't mind losing?
[09:47] ---
    Right. Even if we do, the only
    thing lost is the PC we stole.
[09:51] ---
    We won't be troubled.
[09:53] ---
    Though I'll need to move
    the Asahina gallery inside the PC.
[09:59] ---
    I don't mean the PC.
[10:01] ---
    Miss Suzumiya doesn't like to lose in anything.
[10:05] ---
    Mikuru, we'll have
[10:05] ---
    When a loss draws near,
[10:06] ---
    she creates an enclosed space...
[10:06] ---
    extensive game training starting tomorrow.
[10:08] ---
    ...and unwittingly lets "that" loose.
[10:09] ---
    We'll go all out, so psych up and keep up!
[10:11] ---
    That's fine?
[10:12] ---
    I don't care.
[10:14] ---
    Even with her,
    it's about time she learns something.
[10:19] ---
    What? That's gross.
[10:20] ---
    No, I just got a bit jealous...
[10:23] ---
    ...of the unseen trust that exists
    between you and Miss Suzumiya.
[10:28] ---
    I'm totally lost.
[10:30] ---
    Let's say we lose the game in one week.
[10:34] ---
    But you're thinking she won't
    create an enclosed space even so.
[10:40] ---
    You have such trust.
[10:43] ---
    Also, Miss Suzumiya believes
    you'll lead our game to victory.
[10:48] ---
    This is also trust.
[10:50] ---
    She spoke of risking her own members...
[10:53] ---
    ...because she's convinced she can't lose.
[10:56] ---
    Even Admiral Nelson will be all blue.
[10:56] ---
    She'll never verbalize that though.
[10:59] ---
    You two are bound by a sense of trust
    that could be said to be ideal.
[11:10] ---
    "The Day of Sagittarius III," huh?
[11:12] ---
    Three? They have a one and two?
[11:15] ---
    Sounds like a name trying to
    sound cool but ending up cryptic.
[11:20] ---
    When you say that,
    what about the "SOS Brigade"?
[11:24] ---
    The game itself is very simple.
[11:27] ---
    The five players are each given
    a fleet of 15,000 spaceships...
[11:31] ---
    ...and control them via their computers.
[11:33] ---
    You win when you destroy all enemies
    or blow up their flagship.
[11:39] ---
    What are these bright spots?
[11:41] ---
    The scouting range.
[11:43] ---
    You can only find enemies
    and obstacles within this.
[11:47] ---
    We can't strike first unless
    we increase this range with scouts.
[11:52] ---
    Prompt positioning and predicting actions...
[11:54] ---
    ...seems the key to winning or losing.
[11:57] ---
    Um, so you can't see
    the enemy in the beginning?
[12:01] ---
    Kyon... um, I'm not good at this stuff,
    so I don't really understand.
[12:07] ---
    It's all right. It's a game,
    so just play as you see fit.
[12:11] ---
    See fit? Of course not!
[12:13] ---
    We'll crush the computer club
    till they can't stand.
[12:16] ---
    We'll practice hard now.
    I'm the leader of course.
[12:20] ---
    Now, all of you, battle positions!
[12:23] ---
    Nagato'll put up a good fight...
[12:25] ---
    I take it back.
[12:27] ---
    No good.
[12:28] ---
    First Day of Training
[12:28] ---
    All ships, charge!
[12:33] ---
    Jeez!
[12:34] ---
    Second Day of Training
[12:34] ---
    All ships, charge!
[12:38] ---
    Jeez!
[12:39] ---
    Third Day of Training
[12:39] ---
    All ships, charge!
[12:42] ---
    Jeez!
[12:43] ---
    Fourth Day of Training
[12:43] ---
    All ships, charge!
[12:45] ---
    Jeez!
[12:46] ---
    Fifth Day of Training
[12:46] ---
    Beaten again!
[12:48] ---
    Kyon, this game's irritating me.
[12:51] ---
    Because you keep charging.
    That's a mistake to begin with.
[12:54] ---
    Jeez, it's so cumbersome.
[12:57] ---
    I like easier-to-understand things!
[13:03] ---
    It might be me,
    but it seems she's having fun.
[13:06] ---
    I'll make it clear again. No cheating this time.
[13:14] ---
    The Day of Battle
[13:16] ---
    Today, skies are clear, but waves are high.
[13:16] ---
    SOS Brigade Space Force: Lady Haruhi's fleet
[13:19] ---
    The empire's fate rests on this battle.
[13:22] ---
    This fight is only the start.
[13:24] ---
    We'll clear all obstacles...
[13:24] ---
    Same Force: Koizumi's Fleet
[13:26] ---
    ...and the SOS Brigade will be
    known all over the universe!
[13:29] ---
    Same Force: Mikuru's Fleet
[13:29] ---
    I'll confer with the school board...
[13:32] ---
    ...and make SOS Brigades in every public school!
[13:33] ---
    Same Force: Yuki's Fleet
[13:36] ---
    We'll win of course,
    but slacking off is forbidden!
[13:39] ---
    Same Force: Kyon's Fleet
[13:39] ---
    We'll pulverize them!
[13:42] ---
    What's her confidence made of?
    I'd like some, even two milligrams.
[13:47] ---
    Yeah? Should I inject some?
[13:54] ---
    Well? Did it work?
[13:56] ---
    What good does this staring game do?
[13:58] ---
    I charged the glare
    with energy and sent it to you.
[14:02] ---
    Like your body warming up
    or your sweat being stimulated.
[14:06] ---
    You felt that, right?
[14:08] ---
    No, but I felt my life in danger.
[14:10] ---
    It's about to start.
[14:24] ---
    All ships, move forward!
[14:24] ---
    1600 Hours: Battle Begins
[14:26] ---
    And so the game began...
[14:28] ---
    ...and we finally found
    the enemy fleet just now.
[14:32] ---
    Thanks to Nagato, we somehow
    grasped enemy movements.
[14:36] ---
    She scouts while battling.
    What a show of bravery.
[14:40] ---
    Clueless gamer Miss Asahina
    and rushing idiot Haruhi are useless.
[14:45] ---
    It's already three on five.
    We're completely behind.
[14:49] ---
    They're using the kakuyoku
    formation to lure us into range.
[14:53] ---
    It's best to stay with defense.
[14:55] ---
    Easily said. I'm fine with that,
    but what would Haruhi say?
[15:01] ---
    What?
[15:02] ---
    Another fleet's attacking us?
    When did they advance?
[15:06] ---
    Whoa, here too. How'd they
    figure out where we were?
[15:10] ---
    What are you doing? Retaliate already!
[15:13] ---
    I'd do that even without prompting.
[15:15] ---
    Rotate 90 degrees starboard!
    Open all cannons!
[15:18] ---
    You sound like you're playing seriously.
[15:21] ---
    Targeting enemy fleet! All beam cannons, fire!
[15:25] ---
    Wait, what?
[15:26] ---
    Damn, they ran.
[15:28] ---
    Here too.
[15:29] ---
    They shot as they pleased and vanished.
[15:33] ---
    Hit-and-run tactics...
[15:34] ---
    Oh, again. From the side.
[15:37] ---
    Picking away...
[15:38] ---
    What are you so slow for? They'll get away!
[15:41] ---
    I know. I'm helpless.
    They're slippery, coming right and left.
[15:46] ---
    Then launch the Gunda(beep)!
[15:48] ---
    Go! Not!
[15:49] ---
    Um... Um...
[15:52] ---
    Where am I right now?
[15:55] ---
    I can't take any more! All fleets, full speed!
[15:58] ---
    I'll find the enemy leader
    and pummel him down!
[16:02] ---
    I said not to advance!
[16:04] ---
    Leave this to us.
[16:05] ---
    Enough, move! The leaders
    will duke it out one-on-one!
[16:09] ---
    We don't know where he is.
[16:11] ---
    I'll find him!
[16:13] ---
    I said stop!
[16:14] ---
    Calm down first. Then we'll intercept...
[16:17] ---
    Where is everyone?
[16:19] ---
    Move it!
[16:21] ---
    I can't even if I wanted to!
[16:23] ---
    We've lost...
[16:26] ---
    What the?
[16:27] ---
    I see. A split fleet.
[16:27] ---
    Yuki [split] 12
[16:30] ---
    Split fleet?
[16:31] ---
    It was at the end of the manual.
[16:34] ---
    It seems you can split the fleet
    and control 20 separate squadrons.
[16:37] ---
    Yuki [split] 07
[16:38] ---
    But controlling so many at once
[16:40] ---
    Yuki [split] 20
[16:40] ---
    is impossible for humans...
[16:43] ---
    ...so nobody did it.
[16:45] ---
    Impossible for humans, huh.
[16:48] ---
    U-Um...
[16:50] ---
    If you're so forceful, wouldn't it break?
[16:53] ---
    Losers will be punished with
    ten stark-naked schoolyard laps...
[16:57] ---
    ...shouting, "Green Martians
    are chasing me," all the while!
[17:01] ---
    I won't let you give up!
[17:02] ---
    You know...
[17:05] ---
    Um, Miss Nagato? What in
    the world are you doing right now?
[17:10] ---
    Hey, Nagato.
[17:11] ---
    What?
[17:12] ---
    I told you that cheating wasn't allowed.
[17:15] ---
    I am not.
[17:16] ---
    I am not using special information controls.
[17:20] ---
    I am following all rules.
[17:22] ---
    R-Really?
[17:23] ---
    The ones cheating are
    those in the computer club.
[17:27] ---
    They are? What are they doing?
[17:30] ---
    Their scouting mode has been turned off.
[17:33] ---
    Everything on the map,
    including our positions, is already obvious.
[17:37] ---
    That was a simple explanation for you.
[17:41] ---
    We can't see them, but they can
    see us. No wonder we can't win.
[17:47] ---
    Right. We had no other choice but to lose.
[17:51] ---
    I would like to correct that.
[17:54] ---
    I get that they were cheating.
[17:56] ---
    But that said, if we cheat
    even more and use magic to fight...
[18:02] ---
    ...we'll be like them in the end.
[18:03] ---
    No, lower.
[18:05] ---
    Nothing defies your orders.
[18:07] ---
    I'd like to correct the program
    at Earth's technological levels.
[18:13] ---
    It will only make conditions equal.
[18:16] ---
    Please approve it.
[18:24] ---
    Could it be you want to win?
[18:35] ---
    All right, do it.
[18:40] ---
    Right.
[18:42] ---
    All right...
[18:43] ---
    Using squadron mode to scout
    scared me, but we're still ahead.
[18:48] ---
    After all, the enemy's in plain sight.
[18:50] ---
    We'll wrap it up soon.
[18:52] ---
    Destroy all enemies!
    Decimate the SOS Brigade!
[18:59] ---
    Scouting mode is on!
[19:01] ---
    Enemy fleet lost!
[19:04] ---
    Our blind spot's being attacked!
    We can't read enemy movements!
[19:09] ---
    What are you doing?
    Turn scouting mode off now!
[19:12] ---
    No good!
[19:12] ---
    Access denied
[19:12] ---
    Fully locked
[19:13] ---
    Denied
[19:13] ---
    Unable to change
[19:13] ---
    It's locked, and access to change it is denied!
[19:17] ---
    N-No way!
[19:18] ---
    Enemy found! Fire, fire, fire!
[19:24] ---
    Fall, daddy longlegs!
[19:25] ---
    Hey, Kyon, that's my enemy!
[19:28] ---
    Two enemy fleets destroyed.
    The other fleets are in chaos too.
[19:32] ---
    The confusion of Miss Nagato's
    squadrons has turned it around.
[19:38] ---
    But the leader's still standing.
    How should we take him?
[19:42] ---
    Not a problem. I will herd him to you.
[19:45] ---
    D-Damn it...
[19:47] ---
    He's flying in perfectly.
[19:50] ---
    A trapped mouse.
[19:52] ---
    Um, you can shoot this?
[19:54] ---
    I don't really get it, but you guys did well!
[19:57] ---
    All ships, fire at full force!
    Burn their leader with the fires of hell!
[20:10] ---
    Don't let him get away!
[20:24] ---
    G-Glory to the computer club!
[20:34] ---
    I lost. An utter loss.
[20:36] ---
    I'll admit it. I apologize.
[20:39] ---
    I'm sorry.
[20:41] ---
    But I can't believe game contents
    were rewritten during play...
[20:48] ---
    What are you muttering?
[20:50] ---
    Still, you remember the promise, right?
[20:52] ---
    All these PCs are ours.
    I won't let you say you've forgotten!
[20:57] ---
    Hey, you...
[20:59] ---
    Who did it?
[21:02] ---
    The hacker with the skills
    to make it anywhere in the world...
[21:05] ---
    Well, I have a good idea.
[21:12] ---
    Something to consider when you have time...
[21:15] ---
    Would you attend some
    computer club activities? Please!
[21:18] ---
    He's recruiting her.
[21:20] ---
    Hey, you can't rent Yuki without permission.
[21:23] ---
    Listen, she's the silent girl,
    a must in the SOS Brigade.
[21:27] ---
    I set eyes on her first!
[21:30] ---
    Hey, wait.
[21:33] ---
    Even Nagato has a few things that interest her.
[21:37] ---
    She seemed to be having fun
    pounding at the keyboard.
[21:42] ---
    I'm sure she gets tired of
    doing nothing but observing Haruhi.
[21:47] ---
    Even alien organic humanoid interfaces...
[21:51] ---
    ...need to take their
    mind off things sometimes.
[21:55] ---
    Do as you please.
[21:57] ---
    When you feel like it, head next door...
[22:00] ---
    ...and play around with their PCs.
[22:06] ---
    I see...
[22:10] ---
    Maybe once in a while.
[22:11] ---
    Really? Oh, I'm thankful!
[22:14] ---
    So she says.
[22:15] ---
    Well, if she's fine with it...
[22:17] ---
    Oh, and...
[22:19] ---
    You're the losers.
[22:21] ---
    Losers have to listen to
    all the winners' demands.
[22:25] ---
    All of you need to swear
    absolute loyalty to me.
[22:30] ---
    Yeah, you won't have it bad.
[22:32] ---
    Work hard and I may let you
    be real brigade members.
[22:36] ---
    Koizumi, make a contract right away.
[22:39] ---
    As you wish, Your Excellency.
[22:49] ---
    If we figured out the globe
    like we would a riddle...
[22:55] ---
    ...we could all go anywhere together.
[22:58] ---
    To the end of time, BOOOON!
[23:01] ---
    This feeling that is a warp and a loop.
[23:05] ---
    With an imagination that engulfs
    anything and everything, let's play.
[23:11] ---
    Something on one sunny day,
    more fun than any magic possible...
[23:16] ---
    ...endlessly pours down. It's not impossible.
[23:22] ---
    When we meet again tomorrow,
    we're all humming as we smile.
[23:28] ---
    Let's gather happiness. Such a thing is so easy.
[23:33] ---
    Chase after me. Try to catch it.
[23:38] ---
    A big dream... You like dreams, right?

E28 - Someday in the Rain
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:31] ---
    With the arts festival and
    the ruckus following it all done,
[00:36] ---
    we now hear winter's footsteps
    nearing with mountain winds
[00:40] ---
    as December closes in.
[00:42] ---
    The clubroom wing, the old building
    from the school's founding,
[00:46] ---
    has very thin walls and was chilly
[00:48] ---
    though we were sitting indoors.
[00:49] ---
    SOS Brigade
[00:58] ---
    The answer is always in my heart.
[01:05] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
[01:12] ---
    I don't know why, but I chose you.
[01:19] ---
    It won't stop now. Mr. Destiny deemed it so.
[01:25] ---
    I believe it's boring to just mimic.
[01:31] ---
    You'll be right, so I'll do what I feel as I feel it.
[01:40] ---
    It's an adventure, right, right?
[01:42] ---
    In this world where truth becomes fiction.
[01:47] ---
    We become stronger
    because we have dreams...
[01:51] ---
    ...not for the sake of someone.
[01:54] ---
    Please come with me.
[01:57] ---
    See me and my endlessly free self.
[02:03] ---
    Today's present that becomes
    tomorrow's past is the miracle.
[02:09] ---
    Let's grab the future.
[02:15] ---
    I believe you...
[02:24] ---
    Someday in the Rain
[03:07] ---
    The SOS Brigade's been
    involved in many things.
[03:11] ---
    Or rather, I've been involved in them.
[03:14] ---
    But such incidents aren't
    obliged to happen every day.
[03:18] ---
    First of all, if these and those odd
    life bombs blew up every day...
[03:23] ---
    ...my body would break,
    and my heart would be even worse.
[03:31] ---
    Brigade Leader
[03:32] ---
    Still, when Haruhi isn't around,
[03:35] ---
    it's really quiet... So nice.
[03:38] ---
    But maybe it's a bit too quiet.
[03:48] ---
    Come to think of it,
[03:50] ---
    it's been six months since I met Haruhi,
    Miss Asahina, and the others.
[03:56] ---
    We've done all sorts of things.
[03:58] ---
    Some were because of Haruhi,
    and some were not.
[04:02] ---
    Well, they all mostly started
    when we were relaxing like this...
[04:07] ---
    ...and she would rush in--
[04:09] ---
    Everyone, listen up! Good news!
[04:12] ---
    Again?
[04:14] ---
    It's hardly ever the case that her good news...
[04:18] ---
    ...proves to be good for us,
    especially me and Miss Asahina.
[04:23] ---
    What now?
[04:25] ---
    I've finished setting
    the clubroom up with a heating unit.
[04:32] ---
    Oh, right, right.
[04:34] ---
    The appliance store that was
    a movie sponsor is willing to foot it.
[04:39] ---
    I just got a call saying one of
    last year's models didn't sell,
[04:44] ---
    was forgotten in storage,
    and they can't get rid of it.
[04:47] ---
    No appliance store owner is kind
    and bored enough to call her...
[04:53] ---
    ...so I'm sure she forced the deal.
[04:56] ---
    So, Kyon, go to the store now and get it.
[05:00] ---
    Me? Now?
[05:01] ---
    Right, you. Now.
[05:04] ---
    You're saying to go down
    that mountain path I hike every day...
[05:09] ---
    ...and go to a store two stations away...
[05:12] ---
    ...then carry stuff all the way back?
[05:15] ---
    Right, because if you don't,
    the guy might change his mind.
[05:19] ---
    Hurry up and just go.
    You're bored anyway, right?
[05:23] ---
    I have a feeling nobody here
    is anything but bored in this room.
[05:28] ---
    Aren't you bored?
[05:30] ---
    I have something I need to do now.
[05:36] ---
    Koizumi's vice-leader,
    and you're an ordinary member.
[05:39] ---
    The lower ranks of
    any group work their butts off.
[05:43] ---
    Of course the SOS Brigade follows that rule.
[05:47] ---
    Oh, well.
[05:48] ---
    This time,
[05:49] ---
    Haruhi decided to make a very decent request.
[05:49] ---
    All right.
[05:52] ---
    Please be careful.
[05:52] ---
    I was thinking how I wanted a heating unit here.
[05:53] ---
    I'll go too...
[05:55] ---
    It's okay, Mikuru. You stay here.
[05:56] ---
    If she'll force Miss Asahina
[05:57] ---
    It's Kyon's duty to handle all the chores.
[05:57] ---
    or Nagato to go, then I'll go.
[06:00] ---
    I see...
[06:06] ---
    Wait.
[06:10] ---
    It's chilly today...
[06:12] ---
    Oh, thank you.
[06:15] ---
    Hurry up and go!
[06:42] ---
    Now, the nuisance is out of the way.
[06:45] ---
    Mikuru, I want to take photos,
    so could you pose?
[06:49] ---
    W-What kind of photos?
[06:51] ---
    I'm shooting a DVD cover for
    "The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina"...
[06:56] ---
    ...that we showed at the festival!
[06:59] ---
    You're actually going to make it?
    I thought you had given up on it...
[07:04] ---
    That's because Kyon was nagging.
[07:07] ---
    Nobody here will oppose the idea now.
[07:14] ---
    I had ill thoughts of this hill
    the first day I went up to school...
[07:19] ---
    ...but I've gotten
    quite used to it after six months.
[07:22] ---
    Both the hiking trail to school
    and to the SOS Brigade.
[07:32] ---
    I wonder what Haruhi's doing
    in the clubroom while I'm out?
[07:36] ---
    I hope she's not toying with
    Miss Asahina, saying she's bored.
[07:42] ---
    Koizumi, the reflector please.
[07:44] ---
    Got it.
[07:46] ---
    Mikuru, don't space out and take a pose!
[07:49] ---
    Come on.
[07:50] ---
    S-Sure...
[07:53] ---
    Smile more like you're flattering someone!
[07:56] ---
    More like you want something!
[07:58] ---
    You can't please the male viewers like that!
[08:12] ---
    Time to change costumes.
    Next up is this one!
[08:17] ---
    Come on, it's okay.
[08:21] ---
    Let go!
[08:26] ---
    I'll do it myself!
[08:28] ---
    It's all right! It's faster if I help, right?
[08:33] ---
    The bra too?
[08:34] ---
    You'll be taking it off anyway.
    Oh, have you gotten bigger again?
[08:39] ---
    You've gotten more voluptuous.
[08:41] ---
    Cold! W-Where are you touching?
[08:47] ---
    Oh, it's already gotten cold.
[08:58] ---
    It's so cold... And this is so embarrassing...
[09:02] ---
    Mikuru, you should be prouder of yourself.
[09:06] ---
    More than anything,
    you're the best mascot and chosen by me.
[09:10] ---
    Right, Koizumi?
[09:11] ---
    It's as you say.
[09:13] ---
    Now, next... wear this.
[09:16] ---
    Again?
[09:18] ---
    I-I-I said I can do it myself...
[09:24] ---
    I have to finish taking all the shots today,
    so we're going to hurry!
[09:38] ---
    Next is this.
[09:39] ---
    Um, I didn't wear either this
    nurse outfit or that outfit in the movie...
[09:46] ---
    Is this really a photo shoot for the cover?
[09:50] ---
    Yeah, it is. But I just had an idea.
[09:54] ---
    We can also make a photo book.
    Koizumi, what do you think?
[09:58] ---
    I believe it's a fine idea.
[10:02] ---
    No, wait.
[10:03] ---
    If we're making a DVD anyway,
    we need to add visual extras.
[10:07] ---
    How's that idea, Koizumi?
[10:09] ---
    I believe it's a very good idea.
[10:15] ---
    The train will be arriving shortly.
[10:24] ---
    It looks like we're going to see some rain.
[10:28] ---
    It was so funny.
[10:30] ---
    Really?
[10:31] ---
    Anyone would be surprised.
[10:35] ---
    Now, off with it!
[10:38] ---
    There's more still?
[10:48] ---
    It's okay. Don't take that...
[10:50] ---
    You'll put on underwear that
    you show off, so you don't need it!
[10:56] ---
    This is so fun!
[11:03] ---
    This is the stove I promised.
    Can you take it back with you?
[11:07] ---
    Well, yes, somehow.
[11:10] ---
    Are those cute girls doing well?
[11:13] ---
    One is so energetic that it troubles me.
[11:16] ---
    Did the commercial help?
[11:18] ---
    Honestly, business hasn't changed much.
[11:21] ---
    Understandable, a commercial in
    a high school arts festival movie...
[11:26] ---
    ...is too narrow a chance.
[11:28] ---
    I'm surprised he sponsored.
[11:30] ---
    Come to think of it, that energetic
    girl was saying on the phone...
[11:35] ---
    Is it true you'll be making a sequel?
[11:38] ---
    If she says so, I'm sure it will be.
[11:41] ---
    She asked me to sponsor the next film too.
[11:46] ---
    Consider this stove
    as an advance for the next film.
[11:50] ---
    So that's the deal...
[11:52] ---
    Then I'll be going now.
[11:55] ---
    Thank you.
[11:56] ---
    Sure, take care.
[12:04] ---
    Amoebas are red, a-i-u-e-o.
[12:08] ---
    Little shrimp and floating moss swim as well.
[12:12] ---
    Persimmon tree,
    chestnut tree, ka-ki-ku-ke-ko.
[12:16] ---
    Woodpecker chips away
    at the dead zelkova tree.
[12:21] ---
    Pouring vinegar
    on cowpeas, sa-shi-su-se-so.
[12:26] ---
    That fish I stabbed in the shallow waters.
[12:32] ---
    Let's stand at the sound
    of the trumpet, ta-chi-tsu-te-to.
[12:38] ---
    It flew off with a
    thunk-thunk-thunk-thunk-dash-dash.
[12:50] ---
    You are the culprit.
[12:54] ---
    The red player has chosen ♪14.
    Well, I guess that's okay.
[12:59] ---
    How will things play out? Next question.
[13:02] ---
    Amazing, the stage atmosphere
    changed just by her showing up.
[13:06] ---
    But she's totally different from before.
[13:09] ---
    Like a different person from minutes ago.
[13:12] ---
    What a terrifying little girl.
[13:14] ---
    Tanmen noodle set!
[13:17] ---
    Fried rice set!
[13:19] ---
    Tempura and cold soba set!
[13:22] ---
    Young Man Ace!
[13:24] ---
    Middle-aged Ace!
[13:26] ---
    Retirement Ace!
[13:28] ---
    Nonpromoted Ace!
[13:30] ---
    Next-year Ace!
[13:32] ---
    Unfortunate Ace!
[13:34] ---
    I-love-it-after-all Ace!
[13:37] ---
    Why don't you do your best?
[13:39] ---
    Bring it on!
[13:41] ---
    What you've done is snappy,
    crackly, and all obvious to us!
[13:45] ---
    Childlike but subtle inside!
    A powerful ally all over town!
[13:49] ---
    The name... Ace Detective!
    What was it?
[13:52] ---
    Bow down, bow down!
[13:55] ---
    Can't you see this crest that I hold?
[13:58] ---
    Because I am the queen of France.
[14:05] ---
    It hit a strange spot!
[14:07] ---
    You're still green.
[14:09] ---
    ♪ Gli arredi festivi giu cadano infranti. ♪
[14:23] ---
    Hello! We're the Arctic Sea Ice Candies!
[14:26] ---
    Bang.
[14:27] ---
    Yuki, you're so sexy as always!
[14:30] ---
    Eyes up, perv. I'll call the cops.
[14:32] ---
    A body blow right off?
    I feel mistaken for a train groper.
[14:36] ---
    So it's winter.
[14:37] ---
    Right, winter. Which means...
[14:39] ---
    Pro ball off-season.
[14:41] ---
    Cool point. The WBC is pale!
[14:44] ---
    I look forward to see who gets the pink slip.
[14:47] ---
    A very in-the-dark way of enjoying it...
[14:50] ---
    Well, it's almost Christmas, right?
[14:53] ---
    I want hot pot.
[14:54] ---
    Right! Winter's about that!
[14:56] ---
    What goes in yours?
[14:58] ---
    Let's see... napa, chicken,
    pork, leeks, natto, tofu...
[15:02] ---
    And you?
[15:03] ---
    Brown bear.
[15:04] ---
    Yuki, you're a hunter?
[15:07] ---
    Matagi would cry and run!
[15:08] ---
    But I keep thinking of it,
    feel sorry, and don't eat it.
[15:12] ---
    Then don't put it in.
[15:14] ---
    I'll play a bear now.
[15:16] ---
    You will?
[15:17] ---
    You're the pot.
[15:19] ---
    Here it comes!
[15:20] ---
    This'll be the worst...
[15:22] ---
    Hey, Kyon, what are you doing here?
[15:25] ---
    Can't you tell? Carrying stuff.
[15:29] ---
    You sure work hard.
    Another order from Suzumiya, right?
[15:32] ---
    It seems half a year
[15:34] ---
    was enough for my classmates
    to correctly assess my situation.
[15:38] ---
    You're going back to school now?
    You really do work hard...
[15:42] ---
    Really.
[15:43] ---
    Later.
[15:44] ---
    Yeah.
[15:44] ---
    See you tomorrow.
[15:52] ---
    Damn. It's starting to rain.
[15:54] ---
    The forecast said a 10% chance of rain.
[15:58] ---
    The forecaster can't be trusted.
    Hope it doesn't turn into a downpour.
[16:06] ---
    Oh, it seems to be raining.
[16:09] ---
    I wonder if Kyon's okay...
[16:11] ---
    I've never longed for
    that room more than now.
[16:15] ---
    I want to get to Miss Asahina's
    tea as soon as possible...
[16:19] ---
    ...and warm up my body and heart.
[16:22] ---
    Yoo-hoo! Is Mikuru here?
[16:25] ---
    Huh? Nagato, right?
[16:28] ---
    I wanted to swap cleaning duty tomorrow...
[16:31] ---
    I came to ask. Where's Mikuru?
[16:36] ---
    Over there? Thanks!
[16:48] ---
    Set...
[16:50] ---
    Right, left, right, left, right, left.
[16:52] ---
    Set...
[16:54] ---
    Right, left, right, left, right, left.
[16:57] ---
    Ready?
[16:58] ---
    Right, left, right, left, right, left.
[17:01] ---
    Set!
[17:02] ---
    Right, left, right, left, right, left.
[17:13] ---
    Oh, brother.
[17:16] ---
    Oh, out on an errand?
[17:18] ---
    Miss Tsuruya.
[17:19] ---
    No wonder.
[17:21] ---
    What?
[17:23] ---
    Nothing. Kudos on the hard work.
[17:26] ---
    You're soaked.
[17:28] ---
    Here.
[17:30] ---
    Thanks.
[17:31] ---
    See ya! Give the handkerchief
    back to Mikuru later with this.
[17:36] ---
    As always, her behavior's hard to read.
[17:39] ---
    She's a good upperclassman
    with a clear-cut attitude though.
[17:49] ---
    Oh, Nagato, it's just you?
[18:01] ---
    Where are Haruhi and the others?
[18:10] ---
    Right, that's where you land on your butt!
[18:13] ---
    You get it now.
[18:21] ---
    Ouch.
[18:23] ---
    You're so clumsy it awes me!
[18:25] ---
    Are you doing this on purpose?
    Koizumi, hold this for a bit.
[18:31] ---
    You go like this.
[18:38] ---
    Where the three of them are
    and what they're doing worries me...
[18:42] ---
    ...but climbing up that hill with
    a large package has gotten to me.
[18:46] ---
    Even more when I think of
    going home and down that hill again.
[18:59] ---
    Come, come, come, come.
[19:02] ---
    My hands are cold...
[19:40] ---
    So tired.
[20:37] ---
    Huh? It's just you?
[20:40] ---
    What? Got a problem with that?
[20:43] ---
    It's not a problem...
[20:46] ---
    Did you draw anything silly
    on my face or something?
[20:49] ---
    I wouldn't do such a childish thing.
[20:52] ---
    Where are the other three?
[20:54] ---
    They went home since it didn't
    look like you'd get up that soon.
[20:58] ---
    And you stayed behind without going home?
[21:01] ---
    No choice.
[21:03] ---
    You were asleep, I had to
    lock the clubroom door to go home...
[21:07] ---
    ...and it's raining on top of it.
[21:11] ---
    Give it back.
[21:14] ---
    The cardigan.
[21:28] ---
    One is definitely Haruhi's.
[21:30] ---
    But whom does this other one belong to?
[21:37] ---
    Wait.
[21:38] ---
    Miss Asahina was changing
    right next to me as I was asleep?
[21:42] ---
    Damn, why'd I really fall asleep?
    If I had only pretended...
[21:47] ---
    It's past the advised time
    to go home, so we should go too.
[21:50] ---
    Yeah.
[21:52] ---
    But I'm in a bind... I didn't bring an umbrella.
[21:56] ---
    One will be enough.
[22:01] ---
    Bring it more this way.
    You're going to get me wet.
[22:06] ---
    I've shifted it that way enough.
[22:09] ---
    This umbrella isn't yours.
    It says "for teachers" on it.
[22:14] ---
    It's school property.
    Nothing wrong with a student using it.
[22:18] ---
    Or what? If you want to go home
    sopping wet, I won't let you in.
[22:24] ---
    Jeez, I went through the trouble
    of bringing the stove over...
[22:28] ---
    ...yet Miss Brigade Leader
    can't even say a few kind words?
[22:33] ---
    Hold up!
[22:49] ---
    If we figured out the globe
    like we would a riddle...
[22:55] ---
    ...we could all go anywhere together.
[22:58] ---
    To the end of time, BOOOON!
[23:01] ---
    This feeling that is a warp and a loop.
[23:05] ---
    With an imagination that engulfs
    anything and everything, let's play.
[23:11] ---
    Something on one sunny day,
    more fun than any magic possible...
[23:16] ---
    ...endlessly pours down. It's not impossible.
[23:22] ---
    When we meet again tomorrow,
    we're all humming as we smile.
[23:27] ---
    Let's gather happiness. Such a thing is so easy.
[23:33] ---
    Chase after me. Try to catch it.
[23:38] ---
    A big dream... You like dreams, right?