E3 - Don't Overeat Caviar

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Brian/I
    I was born in East Dakota, USA.
[00:08] Brian/I
    I've been so poor since I was a child
[00:14] Brian/I
    that even though I make
    decent money right now,
[00:18] Brian/I
    my standard of living is
    the lowest of the low.
[00:22] Brian/I
    A guy like me shouldn't have
    gorged on caviar like that.
[00:28] (Flashback) Brian
    Mmm, so good!
[00:32] Brian/I
    Who knew I'd end up eating hot lead, too?
SIGN    Don't Overeat Caviar
[02:23] Rubber
    Mmm, your cheers do turn me on.
[02:27] Rubber
    I'm everyone's lover, Rubber Suit!
[02:35] Rubber
    On this lovely day on such a lovely planet,
[02:39] Rubber
    we will transcend our nationalities,
    races, and ideologies!
[02:43] Rubber
    Now, let us shout together!
[02:45] Rubber
    Are you ready?
[02:47] Rubber
    Happy planet!
[02:52] Zeno
    Rubber Suit.
[02:54] Zeno
    Because of his popularity,
[02:55] Zeno
    people say there couldn't be
    enough of him to go around, but...
[02:59] Zeno
    His ID number is 223373.
[03:02] Zeno
    He is a Borderlander,
    registered ten years ago.
[03:05] Brian
    Are you kidding me?
[03:07] Brian
    So everyone's going crazy over
    a monster or UMA or whatever?
[03:11] Lyra
    There are many Borderlanders
    in show business.
[03:13] Lyra
    Apparently Cutie, a popular model, is one, too.
[03:16] Cyrus
    I'm not too surprised.
[03:19] Robin
    I hear the action star Sler is one, as well.
[03:22] Robin
    The guy from Mountainous Pecs.
[03:24] Bolts
    Sler is? Are you serious?
[03:27] Brian
    So what about Rubber Suit?
    Why are we investigating him?
[03:31] Zeno
    Because it's possible that
    he has the crystal skull.
[03:35] Brian
    Crystal skull?
[03:38] Zeno
    This is a list of the ingredients used in Confu,
    the drug that was made in Jukai.
[03:42] Zeno
    It contains a traditional
    hallucinogenic mushroom
[03:44] Zeno
    that was used in the ancient Aztec Empire.
[03:47] Cyrus
    This was the lab, or what's left of it.
[03:51] Cyrus
    It seems like you were refining it
    to increase its effectiveness,
[03:55] Cyrus
    via a ritual rather than scientific process.
[04:00] Bennett
    The skull.
[04:02] Zeno
    What?
[04:03] Bennett
    We use the skull made of crystal.
[04:07] Bennett
    Take 300 grams of mushrooms,
    rub them with salt,
[04:10] Bennett
    and microwave them with
    the skull for three minutes.
[04:13] Bennett
    Then air them for three days, and the
     mushrooms' effectiveness doubles.
[04:17] Bennett
    They took back the skull every time, though.
[04:20] Cyrus
    Are you making fun of us?
[04:22] Bennett
    I don't like jokes.
[04:24] Bennett
    This is a plea bargain.
[04:26] Bennett
    I don't have a strong ideology,
    unlike a certain someone.
[04:30] Zeno
    And this certain someone is...
[04:32] Bennett
    Right, it's Rubber.
[04:35] Bennett
    Only a limited number of people
    have the crystal skull.
[04:39] Bolts
    Also known as the "ET Skull."
[04:42] Bolts
    Most of the crystal skulls
    in circulation are fakes,
[04:45] Bolts
    but they say this one is different.
[04:49] Cyrus
    "OOPArts," or out-of-place artifacts.
[04:51] Robin
    As in, "If you collect seven of them,
    it'll destroy the world"?
[04:55] Brian
    That sounds shady as hell.
[04:58] Theodore
    After it was discovered
    in a ruin in South America,
[05:01] Theodore
    it was housed in the British Museum.
[05:04] Theodore
    But it was stolen a few years ago, and some
    intel says it fell into Rubber Suit's hands.
[05:10] Lyra
    Rubber is well known
    as an avid occult collector.
[05:13] Brian
    He may be, but that's not
    nearly enough to go after him.
[05:16] Zeno
    We'll know if it's enough or not
    after we investigate him.
[05:20] Zeno
    There's no decency left in this world
    if a clown like this is a world-famous star.
[05:24] Brian
    I... wouldn't go that far.
[05:26] Robin
    I don't feel a shred of rock 'n' roll from the guy.
[05:29] Robin
    Wouldn't you say, brother?
[05:31] Bolts
    Do you think I like rap?
[05:34] Bolts
    You're absolutely right!
[05:36] Peck
    Brain-energizing reggae is the best!
[05:41] Lyra
    I think jazz is the best.
[05:42] Cyrus
    I'm partial to classical music myself.
[05:45] Theodore
    You can't forget country music.
[05:48] Robin
    Punk rock is the bomb!
[05:50] Brian
    So? What kind of music do you like?
[05:53] Zeno
    The kind that's silent.
SIGN    Rubber's Mansion
[06:01] Security Guard
    Excuse me, how can we help you?
[06:04] Bolts
    We're here to inspect the gas lines.
[06:06] Security Guard
    I see.
[06:10] Zeno
    Here are the photos of
    the inside from our recon.
[06:13] Zeno
    The crystal skull is most likely
    stored in the basement vault.
[06:17] Zeno
    There are four layers of security measures.
[06:20] Zeno
    A passcode is required at
    the door in front of the vault.
[06:23] Zeno
    Fingerprint and iris authentication, too.
[06:25] Zeno
    Finally, an electronic key owned only
    by Rubber to open the door of the vault.
[06:30] Lyra
    It's better-guarded than a nun's chastity.
[06:34] Robin
    But I'd say no woman is
    an impregnable fortress.
[06:37] Cyrus
    I can't say that I agree with you there.
[06:40] Brian
    Anyhow, it looks like we'd
    have to tackle them one by one.
[06:45] Rubber/I
    Anything for the sake of freedom!
[06:47] Rubber/I
    Fight for the world!
[06:50] Lyra
    Rubber Suit has donated a huge amount
    of money to various charity organizations.
SIGN    Login Successful
SIGN    Temporary Soup Kitchen
[06:59] Rubber
    Here you go!
[07:01] Robin/I
    Man, Rubber is absurdly popular.
[07:04] Robin/I
    He's a hero to the immigrants.
[07:16] Rubber
    The rampant spread of drugs
    should not be taken lightly.
[07:19] Rubber
    But the drugs themselves
    are not to be blamed.
[07:25] Cyrus/I
    Politically, he leans toward the radicals,
    and he approves of drug deregulation.
[07:31] Zeno
    He seems to have a strong ideological bias.
[07:34] Zeno
    With that said, we have his ID number,
    fingerprints, and iris pattern.
[07:40] Zeno
    We still don't have the electronic key,
    but we're on to the next phase of the plan.
[07:42] Zeno
    We still don't have the electronic key,
    but we're on to the next phase of the plan.
[07:44] Brian
    Sure, but why do I have to
    pretend like I'm some celebrity?
[07:48] Bolts/I
    It's fate.
[07:50] Cyrus/I
    You lost the lottery.
[07:52] Robin/I
    Obviously I'd upstage the star.
[07:55] Lyra/I
    Don't worry, I'll guide you through it gently.
[07:58] Brian
    Color me honored.
[08:01] Brian
    Hopefully I don't get eaten alive.
[08:03] Zeno/I
    Stop whining and make sure to
    prepare what you were asked.
[08:08] Brian
    Well, I'm sure they think it's
    uncool to follow trends, but...
[08:13] Brian
    That's what being uncool is, if you ask me!
[08:20] Brian
    Let's see...
[08:24] Brian
    They'll have to spot me for the tux.
[08:27] Female Anchor/I
    A charity auction by the singer and actor
    Rubber Suit will be held tomorrow.
SIGN    CHARITY AUCTION HOSTED BY GLOBAL POP STAR
[08:34] Female Anchor/I
    Collectors from all over the world
[08:36] Theodore
    How is the newcomer?
[08:36] Female Anchor/I
    will bring their occult items
    for this extraordinary auction,
[08:37] Zeno
    I have no words.
[08:39] Zeno
    He's an idiot.
[08:39] Female Anchor/I
    which is drawing attention from many people across different industries.
[08:41] Theodore
    Aren't we all when we're young?
[08:44] Female Anchor/I
    After the auction is over...
[08:46] Zeno
    Who cares?
[08:51] Auctioneer
    The extremely rare,
    original Voynich manuscript!
[08:54] Auctioneer
    Sold at the hammer price of 200 million yen!
[09:20] Lyra
    Wow, that's really thoughtful of you.
[09:23] Brian
    I'm a gentleman, you see.
[09:34] Zeno
    Give me a sitrep.
[09:35] Brian
    The auction is over.
[09:37] Brian
    The reception is about to start.
[09:41] Brian
    Oh, yeah, be extra thorough in that area.
[09:44] Lyra
    But I'm not packing anything of note.
[09:46] Guard 1
    Thank you for your cooperation.
    Please enjoy yourselves.
[09:56] Zeno
    Are you ready?
[10:00] Brian/Lyra/Bolts/Cyrus/Robin
    Of course we are.
[10:12] Brian
    Mmm, so good!
[10:14] Brian
    Wow, I've never had this before.
[10:17] Lyra
    What a way to waste your beautiful wife.
[10:20] Brian
    Oh, come on, it's not like
    anybody suspects... us...
[10:28] Male Guest 1
    Excuse me.
[10:32] Brian
    Why do rich people have such bad taste?
[10:34] Bolts
    Please enjoy.
[10:36] Bolts
    This is Dragon Flag, an original cocktail
    that uses protein of the highest quality.
[10:41] Male Guest 2
    Thank you.
[10:41] Robin
    Would you like to try these?
[10:43] Robin
    I also have fish and chips.
[10:48] Rubber
    Thank you for waiting, everyone!
[10:50] Rubber
    Life is a party! Enjoy it to the fullest!
[10:55] Cyrus
    Looks like the items from the auction
    were brought to the vault already.
[10:59] Zeno
    Yes.
[11:00] Zeno
    Mission start.
[11:02] Zeno
    We'll start with the surveillance
    camera in front of the vault.
[11:06] Isabella
    Keep your eyes peeled. Don't
    even miss a single glass of drink.
[11:09] Isabella
    If you find anyone remotely suspicious,
    respectfully ask them to leave...
[11:14] Isabella
    this world.
[11:21] Lyra
    I've hacked into the surveillance system.
[11:24] Lyra
    The same footage will be
    repeated for five minutes.
[11:28] Lyra
    I'm sure they won't notice
    right away, but do hurry up.
[11:33] Zeno
    The newbie will head to
    the front of the vault.
[11:35] Zeno
    Bolts and Robin, take your positions.
[11:39] Robin
    This is perfect for weight training.
[11:41] Bolts
    Bulk, pump, muscle!
[12:11] Brian
    Infiltration successful.
[12:13] Brian
    Now, the problem is the electronic key.
[12:16] Brian
    Bolts, cut the power to the security system.
[12:20] Brian
    But don't let anyone
    in the mansion notice.
[12:22] Brian
    Set up a bypass.
[12:24] Bolts/I
    Leave it to me.
[12:26] Robin
    D-Did I do the math wrong?
[12:32] Bolts
    What are you doing?!
[12:40] Bolts
    Raise me higher.
[12:47] Bolts
    Hm. This is complicated.
[12:50] Brian
    Come on, hurry up! Or else...
[12:56] Brian/I
    Hey, hurry it up!
[13:00] Brian
    I'm gonna be cut into pieces!
[13:02] Bolts
    Only two centimeters away!
[13:04] Robin/I
    C-Can I ask you something?
[13:07] Bolts
    What is it?
[13:08] Robin/I
    Is there a point in my holding this rope?
[13:11] Bolts
    What?!
[13:11] Robin/I
    There's no weight sensor, is there?!
[13:14] Zeno/I
    You've watched too many movies. Cut it out!
[13:27] Robin/I
    Hey! What the heck are
    you doing, you fake rapper?!
[13:31] Bolts/I
    Punk is for idiots!
[13:33] Brian
    Who cares?
[13:43] Brian
    Wha...
[13:49] Brian
    I'm supposed to find the skull here?
[13:55] Isabella
    You'll be getting a pay cut for sure.
[14:02] Isabella
    I take that back.
[14:04] Isabella
    You two will be executed.
[14:06] Brian
    Not here.
[14:08] Brian
    Not here.
[14:10] Brian
    It's not anywhere.
[14:12] Brian
    Where the heck is it?
[14:13] Song
    I feel so good, so good, so good, so good
[14:15] Song
    Our love is infinite, infinite,
    yeah (Cause Your Love)
[14:17] Brian
    Also, what's up with this song?
[14:20] Brian
    It's a good song, but it's distracting.
[14:21] Song
    Simply so good, so good, so good, so good
[14:23] Zeno/I
    Shut up and hurry!
[14:24] Song
    The answer—
[14:25] Cyrus
    I'm retreating now.
[14:26] Lyra
    I need to get going soon, too.
[14:29] Robin
    Can't you even find one item?
[14:31] Bolts
    You can't focus because
    your diet lacks protein.
[14:35] Brian
    Why?! Why can't I find it?!
[14:36] Song
    Simply so good, so good, so good, so good
[14:38] Song
    The password is Infinite Love
[14:43] Brian
    "Infinite"?...
[14:46] Brian
    Infinity?
[14:57] Brian
    This is...
[15:02] Brian
    It's the hat Rubber wore on
    his legendary tour of Japan!
[15:07] Brian
    But I don't need that right now!
[15:08] Zeno
    They're on to us now! Retreat!
[15:10] Brian
    Damn it, it's not here!
[15:13] Brian
    Which way? Which way are they coming from?
[15:15] Zeno/I
    Right in front of you.
[15:19] Isabella
    You there. What the hell are you doing here?
[15:22] Brian
    Uh, I... I was looking for the bathroom.
[15:25] Isabella
    That's one cheap-looking tux.
[15:28] Isabella
    Is it from Blue Tree?
[15:33] Brian
    A B-Borderlander?!
[15:46] Robin
    Why isn't it in the vault?!
[15:47] Cyrus
    Maybe it's hidden away in a different place.
[15:50] Bolts
    If it were me, I'd keep it
     with my training equipment.
[15:52] Lyra
    Has it possibly been moved elsewhere already?
[16:03] Zeno
    I found it!
[16:05] Brian
    I wasn't called the Mister Miyagi
    of East Dakota for nothing!
[16:27] Isabella
    What a pain in the ass.
[16:30] Isabella
    Wh-What was that?!
[16:32] Guards
    Hurry! A gunshot!
[16:35] Isabella
    Keep your voice down.
[16:36] Isabella
    The intruder has been dealt with.
[16:38] Guard 1
    Dealt with?
[16:44] Brian
    You saved me, Peck!
[16:46] Brian
    Is there a hole in your belly?
[16:48] Peck
    Damn you!
[16:49] Peck
    You used me as a bulletproof vest!
[16:52] Brian
    Don't say that.
[16:54] Brian
    Thanks to me, you got to
    snuggle up against Lyra, right?
[16:59] Peck
    Well, I guess it wasn't a bad deal.
[17:05] Zeno
    Rodent Borderlander and stupid newbie,
     shut your mouths.
[17:09] Zeno
    The rest of us will continue with the mission.
[17:15] Lyra
    Mixing the skull in the drink, huh?
[17:18] Robin
    Is that why everyone's so high?
[17:20] Cyrus
    We'll have to draw everyone's
    attention to steal it.
[17:26] Robin
    Why don't you show off
    the rap you're so good at?
[17:28] Bolts
    Why don't you do your own gig?
[17:30] Lyra
    How about some classical music?
    There is a piano.
[17:33] Cyrus
    It doesn't suit the atmosphere.
[17:35] Cyrus
    There must be some other song that works.
[17:39] Robin
    I have an idea.
[17:41] Robin
    Just so you know, it's not like
    I'm his fan or anything.
[17:44] Rubber
    I'm telling you, it feels amazing!
[17:51] Rubber
    And who might you be?
[17:54] Cyrus
    We are...
[17:56] Lyra
    ...a group called...
[17:57] Bolts
    ...Marginal Explosions!
[18:00] Robin
    We're your biggest fans!
SIGN    Rubber Suit
[18:30] Brian
    What the hell?
[18:31] Brian
    So they do like Rubber.
[18:42] Zeno
    This is shit.
[18:44] Zeno
    Better than I expected, though.
[18:47] Peck
    What the heck? My dance
    would have been cooler!
[19:06] Rubber
    It's wonderful!
[19:08] Rubber
    This is the best performance ever!
[19:10] Rubber
    I'm so happy to be blessed with fans like you.
[19:16] Zeno
    I prefer enka myself.
[19:38] Cyrus
    Somehow...
[19:39] Bolts
    ...we escaped.
[19:41] Robin
    Was that our plan B, a gas explosion?
[19:43] Lyra
    Zeno must have distracted them all.
SIGN    Shocking
    Rubber Arrested
SIGN    Global Star Involved  in Drug Trafficking?!
[19:51] Brian
    Don't you feel conflicted, as his fans?
[19:55] Robin
    I-I am not.
[19:57] Lyra
    I wouldn't say I'm "a fan."
[19:59] Cyrus
    I just happened to know the song.
[20:00] Bolts
    I'm conflicted, as a fan.
[20:02] Robin
    Don't just come out and say it!
[20:03] Brian
    But why did he do it?
[20:05] Brian
    He's a star who has everything.
[20:08] Brian
    Using the drug would be one thing,
    but manufacturing it...
[20:11] Theodore
    Anyhow, we now have no doubt that
    this skull was used to create the drug.
[20:18] Theodore
    If we keep interrogating Rubber,
    everything will—
[20:20] Zeno
    It's pointless.
[20:23] Zeno
    That man is not Rubber himself,
    but a body double.
[20:26] Team
    What?!
[20:28] Brian
    A body double?
[20:30] Lyra
    The lookalike who stands
    in for stunts and rehearsals?
[20:35] Zeno
    And he's a normal human.
[20:37] Zeno
    He was hired three years ago,
    but he doesn't know any details.
[20:41] Robin
    Are you serious?
[20:42] Cyrus
    Then the real Rubber is...
[20:44] Zeno
    Must be off vacationing somewhere else.
[20:47] Zeno
    Either he was prepared for this bust,
    or he uses his body double on a daily basis.
[20:54] Zeno
    Whatever the case might be,
    I guess that's what a star does.
[20:57] Zeno
    Damn it.
[21:01] Rubber
    The Marginal Service...
[21:04] Rubber
    What a happy tone.
[21:07] Rubber
    I'll be sure to listen to your capelino...
[21:12] Rubber
    forever.