E2 - School Festival Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:09] Tsubasa     Damn, it's hot. [00:11] Tsubasa     I'm wearing this to avoid     the sailor-uniform look, [00:15] Tsubasa     but it's really getting too hot for it... [00:18] Narrator     Tsubasa—real name Tsuyoshi—     wants to look as un-cross-dressy as possible. [00:24] Tsuyoshi     I'm home. [00:26] Tsubasa (Sister)     Welcome back. SIGN    Class 2-B     Air Band SIGN    The SIGN    Lit SIGN    tle SIGN    Lies SIGN    We SIGN    All SIGN    Tell SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell SIGN    Rikka SIGN    Colonel SIGN    Chiyo-san SIGN    Chiyo-san SIGN    Ninja SIGN    Sekine SIGN    Psychic SIGN    Tsubasa SIGN    Tsuyoshi SIGN    Boy SIGN    Note:      Is Sekine SIGN    Maskuma Mask SIGN    Class 2-B     Air Band SIGN    Poeh SIGN    #02: School Festival SIGN    #02: School Festival SIGN    #02: School Festival SIGN    #02: School Festival SIGN    #02: School Festival SIGN    #02: School Festival SIGN    #02: School Festival SIGN    #02: School Festival SIGN    #02: School Festival SIGN    #02: School Festival SIGN    #02: School Festival SIGN    #02: School Festival [02:05] Tsuyoshi     Yikes. [02:07] Narrator     Allow me to explain. [02:09] Narrator     In this school, there is a special uniform [02:12] Narrator     only allowed during summer,     called the "Midsummer Outfit." [02:15] Narrator     It comes with a special undergarment     to guard against any potential translucency. [02:19] Tsuyoshi     This is... [02:21] Tsuyoshi     not happening. [02:22] Tsuyoshi     No, no, no, no, definitely no. SIGN    We can't show you,     but he's wearing boxers. SIGN    Gloom [02:25] Tsuyoshi     I've endured the sailor-style uniform, but... SIGN    I'm on Team Boxers SIGN    I'm on Team Boxers [02:29] Tsuyoshi     Sis, I can't do this anymore.     Let's switch back! [02:34] Tsuyoshi     Stop taking photos! [02:37] Tsuyoshi     No, no, no, no, no! Anything but that! [02:47] Tsubasa     Good morning. [02:51] Rikka     Good morning! [02:55] Chiyo     How do you do, Tsubasa-san? SIGN    No sparkles     for Sekine,      huh... [02:58] Tsubasa     I see you're all wearing     the midsummer outfit today. [03:01] Sekine     It's just too dang hot. [03:03] Sekine     Honestly, the underwear     it comes with is kind of a pain. [03:08] Sekine     This is a girls-only school, so really... [03:14] Sekine     I think something like this'd be fine. [03:16] Narrator     Kiyoshi. SIGN    Kiyoshi [03:19] Chiyo     B-But the underwear is so cute, too! [03:23] Chiyo     I love lace. [03:26] Tsubasa     You sure do, Chiyo-san. [03:28] Sekine     It's fine if you like it... [03:31] Chiyo     I got so excited, I ended up making a number     of small accessories to match the outfit! [03:36] Sekine & Tsubasa & Rikka     Wow, awesome! [03:38] Chiyo     I haven't slept in three days. [03:40] Sekine     Her dedication to cuteness is off the charts. [03:43] Chiyo     I've always been so attached to cute things. [03:48] Chiyo     I still remember... [03:53] (Flashback) Chiyo     Stand back! [03:54] (Flashback) Hanzo     B-But you can't do this alone! [03:57] (Flashback) Chiyo     I can't put someone so cute at risk!     I, Chiyo, will handle this! [04:01] Sekine     That one was Chiyo-san?! [04:04] Chiyo**     I admired that ponytail so much. [04:07] Chiyo     Um, if it's not too much to ask, [04:11] Chiyo     it would be wonderful if you all     could try on these items... [04:15] Tsubasa     What? [04:19] Rikka     Wow! So cute! [04:24] Rikka     It's like a dream come true,     being able to wear this! [04:27] Sekine     The Colonel is a girl, too, after all. [04:30] Rikka     Ow, my tentacles! SIGN    Fold over [04:33] Chiyo     Fold it over, fold it again,     and tie it up with a rubber band... SIGN    Fold again SIGN    Tie with rubber band SIGN    No Blood Flow [04:39] Rikka     No blood flow! SIGN    Complete! [04:41] Rikka     Chiyo-san, why did you have to     tie it so tightly... [04:45] Rikka     I don't care what I wear [04:46] Rikka     as long as it doesn't interfere     with my military duties, but... [04:50] Rikka     Hmm? [04:56] Rikka     I'm bleeding, too?! [04:58] Chiyo     Was it too loose? [05:01] Rikka     Oh, no! It's definitely super tight! [05:04] Narrator     She's telling the truth. [05:05] Chiyo     Tsubasa-san, if I might... [05:07] Tsubasa     No, it's fine. I'll just watch. [05:11] Rikka     Try it, Tsubasa-chan. [05:13] Sekine     It'll look good on you. [05:15] Tsubasa     It most definitely won't look good. [05:17] Tsubasa     Really, I'm fine. [05:19] Chiyo     But I'm sure this would look great on you! SIGN    Dirndl! [05:23] Tsubasa     Wh-What is that? [05:25] Chiyo     It's a traditional dress. [05:27] Tsubasa     Why is everyone so enthusiastic? [05:30] Tsubasa     Oh, maybe... [05:32] Tsubasa     I don't look good in cute things! [05:36] Tsubasa     Is that how they see me? [05:41] Narrator     Sekine's powers only work     on the same gender, [05:45] Narrator     so she can't understand     what Tsubasa is thinking. [05:48] Chiyo     You're not large like me,     so it'll look good on you. [05:52] Tsubasa     Be more aware of your own good looks. [05:54] Sekine     If you don't like it, just sell it online. [05:58] Tsubasa     That sounds inhumane. [06:00] Rikka     Just wear it, and this can all be over! [06:03] Narrator     This is becoming an emergency. SIGN    Conscience [06:11] Chiyo     Why not also put on some makeup,      while we're at it? [06:14] Tsubasa     No, this isn't, like, a "tomboy being shy     about cute things" deal. [06:15] Rikka     Hurry, hurry! [06:17] Rikka     It hurts! The bleeding won't stop! Hurry! [06:21] Tsubasa     It's really just that... I really... [06:24] Tsubasa     I really don't want to wear this! [06:27] Narrator     The soul cries out, unheard. [06:32] Tsubasa (Sister)     Hey, Tsuyoshi. Welcome home— [06:41] Tsuyoshi     No photos! SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell SIGN    click [06:42] Tsubasa (Sister) & Tsuyoshi     The Little Lies We All Tell. SIGN    click SIGN    click SIGN    click SIGN    Fort unes [06:48] Chiyo     Oh look, "Guardian Spirit Fortune Telling." SIGN    Turtle Shell Divination SIGN    Four Pillars of Destiny SIGN    Guardian Spirit Fortune Telling SIGN    Future Divination SIGN    And more! SIGN    Student     Price SIGN    yen [06:51] Chiyo     I wonder what that's like? [06:53] Rikka     I wonder! [06:55] Rikka     How backwards this planet must be     to believe in such foolishness. [07:00] Sekine     Man, that's steep! How many days'     worth of food would that buy? [07:03] Tsubasa     Looks shady as hell.     I don't like these spiritual things. [07:11] Fortune Teller     It might look shady,     but I am the real deal! [07:15] Fortune Teller     You there, I can take a look if you want. [07:18] Tsubasa     Nah... Guardian spirits? No thanks. [07:23] Fortune Teller     You don't believe me?     Let's see your future, then. SIGN    The Real Deal - Correct All the Time [07:27] Tsubasa     Fine. Tell me who I'm going to marry one day. [07:30] Fortune Teller     Very well. [07:34] Fortune Teller     I can see it. The person you'll marry is... [07:40] Fortune Teller     Hmm? [07:45] Fortune Teller     Oh, I see! She likes girls! OK! [07:50] Tsubasa     What is it? [07:51] Fortune Teller     You might be keeping this a secret,     so I won't go into the details, [07:55] Fortune Teller     but don't worry, you'll meet     a wonderful partner. [07:59] Fortune Teller     Just wait for the government to act! SIGN    Rumble rumble... [08:01] Tsubasa     Government? SIGN    Government SIGN    Rumble rumble... SIGN    Rumble rumble... SIGN    Rumble rumble... [08:03] Fortune Teller     You might have concerns right now, [08:06] Fortune Teller     but don't worry! Society changes! [08:10] Fortune Teller     I saw a great wedding reception. [08:12] Tsubasa     Huh. [08:14] Chiyo     Um, can you read my fortune as well? [08:18] Fortune Teller     Of course! [08:19] Chiyo     I'd like to hear about my guardian spirit. [08:23] Fortune Teller     I see. [08:24] Fortune Teller     She seems like a well-to-do girl. [08:27] Fortune Teller     For these types,     I often see their ancestors... [08:35] Fortune Teller     Oh? [08:37] Fortune Teller     This one... was a famous CEO? [08:40] Fortune Teller     I knew it. She's from a high-class family. [08:43] Fortune Teller     Huh? A former noble?     And that famous billionaire?! [08:47] Fortune Teller     She's related to all of those people? [08:54] Fortune Teller     You're being protected     by many wonderful people. [08:57] Chiyo     My, that is wonderful! [09:00] Chiyo     I assumed I would be cursed [09:04] Chiyo     by all the people my family has killed. [09:07] Narrator     Don't celebrate just yet. [09:09] Rikka     I'd like a guardian spirit reading, too! [09:13] Fortune Teller     Oh, what a cute girl. [09:16] Fortune Teller     For these types, it's often     their grandparents or a dog. [09:29] Fortune Teller     What? A fish-man?! [09:32] Rikka     If spirits do exist, [09:35] Rikka     I'm sure I am haunted by     the remnants of my enemies. [09:45] Fish Alien     Chinjao! Chinjao rosu! [09:47] Fish Alien     Green onions and chicken! Ramen! [10:01] Sekine     Please rest well. [10:04] Rikka     Fortune-telling results...     after these messages! SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell SIGN    Fortune-telling results... SIGN    after these messages! [10:12] Tsubasa     The school festival, huh? SIGN    Midsummer Outfit Season Is Over [10:16] Narrator     The midsummer outfit season is over. [10:20] Sekine     What should our class production     be for the festival? [10:23] Tsubasa     Something safe, like a café. [10:26] Chiyo     Oh, a café! That sounds wonderful! [10:29] Chiyo     I've already gone ahead     and prepared outfits, just in case! [10:35] Rikka     Welcome! [10:38] Chiyo     Rikka-chan is the waitress! [10:41] Sekine     Tried-and-true adorable. [10:42] Tsubasa     It's impressive how wholesome it is. [10:45] Sekine     Would you like some fresh-baked cookies? [10:48] Chiyo     A rustic style for Sekine-san! [10:50] Rikka     It's so cute! [10:52] Tsubasa     That's Aunt Stella. [10:56] Chiyo     A bellboy style for Tsubasa-san! [10:59] Sekine     It fits oddly well. [11:01] Rikka     So gallant! [11:04] Sekine     Chiyo-san, what about you? [11:06] Chiyo     Well, for me... [11:09] Chiyo     Welcome home, ladies. [11:12] Rikka     So cool! [11:14] Sekine     Too handsome... [11:15] Tsubasa     I've been outdone. [11:17] Chiyo     If there are any other outfits     you'd like to try, [11:19] Chiyo     please ask me any time you wish! [11:23] Rikka     In that case, a mil— SIGN    Military Uniform! [11:24] Chiyo     But I just know a maid outfit     would suit you best, Rikka-chan! [11:27] Rikka     ...uniform... SIGN     Military Uniform! SIGN    Maid Outfit [11:30] Rikka     I mean, I'd love to try on a maid outfit! [11:33] Narrator     Colonel Rikka prioritizes friendship. SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell [11:36] Rikka     The Little Lies We All Tell. [11:52] Sekine     Chiyo-san, what are you sewing? [11:55] Chiyo     A new outfit for Rikka-chan. [11:58] Sekine     You made another one, huh? [12:00] Sekine     You should wear one, too. [12:03] Chiyo     But I... No, I... [12:05] Sekine     Come on. Just try it. [12:08] Chiyo     Oh, wait... [12:16] Chiyo     How do I look? [12:19] Sekine     She looks like a person     who performs certain services. [12:21] Narrator     Bluntly stated. [12:31] Chiyo     P-Please say something... [12:35] Sekine     What's the correct answer here? [12:38] Tsubasa     Morning. Hmm? [12:47] Tsubasa     It's someone who provides     adult entertainment! [12:48] Narrator     Fastball, dead center. [12:54] Tsubasa     Um, Chiyo-san, it's... [12:58] Chiyo     I'm sorry I put you in a tough spot. [13:01] Chiyo     I knew it wouldn't suit me. [13:04] Sekine & Tsubasa     It does suit you, it's just... [13:06] Sekine     Chiyo-san, that's not it.     You'd get a lot of appointments! [13:10] Chiyo     Appointments? [13:11] Narrator     Sekine, flustered, blurts out     something terrible. [13:15] Tsubasa     Wait, Sekine! I'll take it from here! [13:21] Tsubasa     Chiyo-san, first, I want you to understand [13:24] Tsubasa     that some call it the world's     oldest profession. [13:27] Tsubasa     It's not something to be ashamed of, [13:28] Tsubasa     and actually has the potential     of making many people happy... [13:31] Narrator     The preamble is too long. [13:33] Rikka     Wow, Chiyo-san! Where'd you get that outfit? [13:37] Rikka     It's like you stepped out of     a picture book! It's so cute! [13:41] Chiyo     Really? [13:44] Rikka     Rikka never lies! [13:46] Sekine     You constantly lie. [13:50] Rikka     What a wonderful beauty! [13:52] Rikka     It's almost like she stepped     straight out of... SIGN    Safety and      cleanliness first SIGN    No disrobing,      masks OK SIGN    Best rates      in the area SIGN    Make solid money with soft services! SIGN    Wear cute uniforms! SIGN    Transportation fee covered SIGN    Inexperienced workers welcome SIGN    No lessons needed SIGN    Apply here SIGN    60-minute pack     starting at 10,000 Yen SIGN    Inexperienced workers welcome! SIGN    Start same-day SIGN    Pay per day, high rates SIGN    60,000 yen per day possible SIGN    Maids wanted! SIGN    We are an establishment     where girls can work safely [13:55] Rikka     this book of pictures I found yesterday! [13:57] Narrator     Put it back! SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell [13:59] Rikka     The Little Lies We All Tell! SIGN    Bazaar: 1 SIGN    Shooting gallery: 4 SIGN    Café: 11 SIGN    Research Presentation: 1 SIGN    Food service: 2 SIGN    Haunted house: 5 [14:02] Sekine     I think we've gotten all the ideas down     for school festival productions. SIGN    Class 2-B School Festival Production Ideas [14:07] Sekine     The café idea is the most popular     right now, I think. [14:11] Sekine     That said, we'd want to set ourselves apart     from the other classes somehow. [14:15] Sekine     We can use the revenue for the after-party. [14:17] Rikka     What are the other classes doing? [14:20] Chiyo     Mostly sweets shops,     like crêpes and cookies. [14:24] Sekine     In that case, perhaps we should go     for something a bit unorthodox. [14:30] Tsubasa     I want to do a ninja mansion. [14:33] Sekine     That does sound pretty unorthodox. [14:36] Students     Sounds good. Let's just go with that. [14:39] Chiyo     Wait, but... SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100 SIGN    FURIN KAZAN     Swift as the Wind     Still as the Forest     Daring as the Fire     Steady as the Mtn [14:43] Chiyo     Welcome to the Ninja Mansion. [14:46] Chiyo     This one shall be your guide, nin. Nin, nin! [14:50] Chiyo     I cannot allow that ninja to be. [14:52] Chiyo     I'll accept anything     but the ninja mansion! Anything! [14:55] Chiyo     I have to push for something different     with the same core idea... [15:00] Chiyo     Tsubasa-san! [15:02] Chiyo     What about a Japanese-style café? [15:04] Tsubasa     Japanese-style... [15:05] Sekine     ...café? [15:06] Chiyo     If we served red bean soup and traditional     sweets, that would set us apart! [15:09] Sekine     Welcome. [15:10] Chiyo     It would be so wonderful!     Wonderful! Wonderful! [15:11] Tsubasa     This way, please. [15:12] Rikka     Yay! Welcome! [15:15] Tsubasa     That's still just a café. [15:18] Narrator     Chiyo's presentation is quickly shut down. [15:20] Sekine     Who likes the ninja mansion idea? SIGN    Class 2-B Production Ideas     Ninja Mansion [15:25] Sekine     It's settled. Our class production is... SIGN    Ninja Mansion [15:29] Narrator     A ninja mansion. [15:31] Narrator     She, like, can't stand the idea.     For all kinds of reasons. [15:38] Tsubasa     I actually really love ninjas. [15:43] Tsubasa     I seriously tried to become a ninja     when I was younger. [15:43] Young Tsuyoshi     One! Two! Three! [15:46] Tsubasa     Ninjas are super cool, after all. [15:49] Tsubasa     I still kinda want to be one. [15:53] Chiyo     I-If she feels so strongly about this,     then I suppose I can... [15:57] Tsubasa     So I think my skills as a ninja     are pretty up there. [16:00] Chiyo     Huh? [16:06] Tsubasa     See how good my shuriken throwing is? [16:14] Tsubasa     Chiyo-san, that's incredible...     You weren't even looking at the target! [16:18] Chiyo     Oh, no, it's nothing. [16:20] Chiyo     I mean, I'd say that's     the bare minimum level [16:22] Chiyo     for someone who wants     to call themselves a ninja. [16:26] Narrator     Her professional's spirit is leaking out. [16:28] Rikka     You must have practiced a lot! Good for you! [16:31] Chiyo     O-Oh, not at all. It's just     a basic skill for all ladies. [16:36] Narrator     Define "lady." [16:38] Chiyo     Oh, no. I shouldn't have let that get to me. [16:42] Chiyo     I already quit being a ninja. [16:45] Chiyo     I'm spending the rest     of my days as a regular girl. [16:49] Chiyo     No more shurikens! [16:52] Tsubasa     Damn, and I thought I was pretty good, too. [16:57] Sekine     Tsubasa, that's enough. [17:01] Tsubasa     I know! I'll do a thousand push-ups     before the day of the festival [17:05] Tsubasa     so that I can get better     than Chiyo-san at the shuriken! [17:10] Chiyo     Oh, yeah? [17:17] Tsubasa     It's true... [17:18] Chiyo     One hundred and fifty-six. [17:20] Tsubasa     Yes, ma'am. [17:25] Tsubasa     I did say I was gonna do a thousand push-ups. [17:28] Sekine & Rikka     You can do it! [17:30] Chiyo     One hundred and fifty-seven. [17:31] Tsubasa     Yes, ma'am... [17:34] Tsubasa     But that was more like     a figurative declaration. [17:38] Tsubasa     I wasn't literally going to do     a thousand push-ups... [17:40] Chiyo     One hundred and fifty-eight. [17:45] Chiyo     Oh? I didn't hear your response. [17:49] Tsubasa     Y-Yes, ma'am! [17:58] Chiyo     Oh, dear. [18:00] Tsubasa     I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore, ma'am. [18:03] Narrator     The polite form comes out naturally. [18:05] Chiyo     Oh. Well, Rikka-chan, [18:08] Chiyo     can you help out Tsubasa-san... [18:10] Tsubasa     Is she going to give me water or something? [18:12] Chiyo     ...by sitting on her back, please? [18:14] Rikka     Yes! [18:21] Chiyo     After you've thrown up,     that's when the real workout begins. [18:24] Tsubasa     Is she a demon? [18:25] Rikka     But I shouldn't be sitting on her back! [18:28] Tsubasa     Thank you, Rikka! Please get off! [18:30] Rikka     I'm too light! [18:33] Rikka     It should be Sekine-chan! [18:37] Narrator     Sekine knew that this was the Colonel's     honest and well-meaning suggestion. [18:42] Narrator     She was telling only the truth. [18:47] Sekine     Am I heavy, Tsubasa? [18:51] Rikka     You can do it! [18:53] Chiyo     You'd never find something like this heavy,     would you, Tsubasa-san? [18:58] Tsubasa     It's not heavy at all! Ma'am! [19:00] Narrator     He reads the room in two ways. SIGN    Harakiri SIGN    Shinobi SIGN    Sukiyaki [19:03] Sekine     Unfortunately, Tsubasa will be absent     due to muscle cramps. SIGN    Target Range SIGN    Tuna SIGN    Ice SIGN    Steak on Rice SIGN    Furin Kazan SIGN    Harakiri SIGN    Shinobi SIGN    Sukiyaki SIGN    Furin Kazan SIGN    Shaved     Ice SIGN    Day of the School Festival [19:09] Sekine     This was not at all unexpected. [19:15] Sekine     Now we need someone to replace her... [19:19] Chiyo     It would be my honor. SIGN    1-B Takoyaki SIGN    Ninja Mansion Available 2-B [19:25] Mr. Brian     Wow! [19:28] Mr. Brian     2-B is doing a ninja mansion! [19:31] Rikka     Oh, it's Mr. Brian, the English teacher! SIGN    Welcome [19:34] Sekine & Students     Welcome to the ninja mansion! SIGN    Tuna SIGN    Shaved Ice [19:50] Mr. Brian     They did a good job, but it's just     a classroom production, after all. [19:53] Mr. Brian     I'll just overreact to humor them. [19:57] Chiyo     Mr. Brian, [19:59] Chiyo     this one shall be your guide, nin. Nin, nin! [20:04] Mr. Brian     What the hell is going on?! [20:11] Mr. Brian     Oh, my gosh! [20:12] Mr. Brian     No kidding! [20:14] Mr. Brian     Marvelous! Japanese ninja! [20:18] Mr. Brian     Amazing! Incredible! [20:23] Chiyo     I did it. I saw it through to the end. [20:26] Chiyo     But a friendship, once lost,     can never be recovered... [20:30] Sekine     Why don't you just go apologize? [20:33] Chiyo     But will she forgive me? [20:37] Sekine     Well, you could bring along     something that Tsubasa likes. [20:41] Chiyo     Something Tsubasa-san likes? [20:45] Chiyo     I'm so... [20:47] Chiyo     So very sorry. [20:50] Tsubasa     It's fine. Please don't grovel like that. [20:54] Chiyo     But... [20:56] Tsubasa     I'm just glad you're back     to your normal self. [21:00] Chiyo     Tsubasa-san... [21:02] Tsubasa     I mean, I did miss the chance     to dress up as a ninja, but... [21:07] Chiyo     As a token of my apology,     here is a set of ninja tools. [21:13] Chiyo     It's my gift to you. [21:15] Tsubasa     Really? [21:17] Tsubasa     Wow... Thanks! [21:20] Tsubasa     This blood-rust paint job     looks so realistic! [21:23] Tsubasa     The chip here, and the     blade marks here, wow! [21:25] Narrator     Try as she might, it wouldn't wash off. SIGN    The Little Lies      We All Tell [21:28] Tsubasa     The Little Lies We All Tell! [21:32] Tsubasa (Sister)     It sold for a high price. [21:34] Tsuyoshi     What are you doing?! [21:35] Tsuyoshi     That was a gift! SIGN    Next Episode Preview SIGN    Day Duty:      Sekine [23:09] Tsubasa     Let's do a proper "next     episode preview" this time. [23:11] Chiyo     Yes. After all, next episode, we're     introducing the protagonist of the show! [23:16] Rikka     The name is... [23:17] Chiyo     Maskuma! [23:17] Rikka     Space Octopus! [23:18] Chiyo     It's "Maskuma"! SIGN    #03: Surprise [23:19] Rikka     It's "Space Octopus"! [23:21] Chiyo     Maskuma! [23:22] Rikka     Space Octopus! [23:22] Sekine     Who cares...? [23:23] Chiyo     Maskuma!