E1 - The Four Girls’ Secrets Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:01] Narrator     This is Kashihara Girls' Academy. [00:04] Narrator     It is a prestigious school, widely regarded [00:07] Narrator     as an old-fashioned school     for raising proper ladies. [00:17] Chiyo     My, how pretty. [00:19] Chiyo     Looks delicious. [00:21] Sekine     Chiyo-san, you're here early today. [00:25] Chiyo     How do you do, Sekine-san?     Did you arrive with Tsubasa-san? [00:29] Rikka     Hey, everyone! [00:33] Riika     Good morning! [00:35] Tsubasa     Good morning. [00:36] Chiyo     How do you do, Rikka-chan? [00:41] Narrator     By all appearances,     an ordinary morning scene, [00:44] Narrator     played out by four ordinary     middle school girls. [00:49] Narrator     But these four each have their     own special circumstances. SIGN    Class 2-B     Air Band SIGN    The SIGN    Lit SIGN    tle SIGN    Lies SIGN    We SIGN    All SIGN    Tell SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell SIGN    Rikka SIGN    Colonel SIGN    Chiyo-san SIGN    Ninja SIGN    Sekine SIGN    Psychic SIGN    Tsubasa SIGN    Tsuyoshi SIGN    Boy SIGN    Note:      Is Sekine SIGN    Maskuma Mask SIGN    Class 2-B     Air Band SIGN    Poeh SIGN    #01 The Four Girls' Secrets SIGN    #01 The Four Girls' Secrets SIGN    #01 The Four Girls' Secrets SIGN    #01 The Four Girls' Secrets SIGN    #01 The Four Girls' Secrets SIGN    #01 The Four Girls' Secrets SIGN    #01 The Four Girls' Secrets SIGN    #01 The Four Girls' Secrets SIGN    #01 The Four Girls' Secrets SIGN    #01 The Four Girls' Secrets SIGN    #01 The Four Girls' Secrets [02:29] Rikka     Wow, Chiyo-san's lunch looks delicious! [02:33] Chiyo     I made it all myself. [02:36] Rikka     Cool! [02:38] Tsubasa     Sekine, you're just having natto and rice? [02:41] Sekine     Natto is good for you. [02:43] Tsubasa     Yeah, that's true, but... [02:45] Chiyo     Would you like to try my rolled omelet? [02:49] Rikka     Really? Yay! [02:54] Narrator     They say "Show me a liar,     and I will show you a thief," but... [02:58] Narrator     All of the people pictured here are liars. [03:03] Rikka     They must never find out... [03:07] Rikka     that I am Colonel Papipoporo Durrikka, [03:09] Rikka     109th Battalion of the Galactic     Revolution Alliance Army! SIGN    Loli Alien      Rikka [03:15] Narrator     Loli Alien, Rikka! [03:23] Rikka     During combat against the Space Empire,     my spacecraft was damaged, [03:26] Rikka     and I crash-landed on this planet. [03:29] Rikka     Fortunately, I was able to     use my Emergency Device [03:32] Rikka     to manipulate the memories of the locals     and infiltrate this school, but... [03:38] Rikka     Groovy! This is the bee's knees! [03:42] Sekina     What does that even mean? [03:44] Rikka     Did I make a mistake? Was that an error?! SIGN    BWAH [03:48] Rikka     I'm trying to play the role     of an innocent and naïve girl. [03:50] Rikka     Where did I go wrong? [03:52] Narrator     She simply targeted the wrong era. [03:55] Chiyo     Friend, friend. [03:56] Rikka     Through memory manipulation, [03:56] Tsubasa     Rikka is friend. [03:57] Rikka     they believe I am their     "innocent and naïve" friend. [03:58] Sekine     Innocent and naïve, naïve. SIGN    Om nom nom nom nom [04:01] Rikka     But what exactly is*      "innocent and naïve"...? [04:05] Rikka     What if they begin to suspect me? [04:07] Rikka     Honestly, I'm so stressed,     I can't even taste anything. SIGN    So Delicious [04:07] Rikka     It's so delicious! [04:09] Rikka     But there's nothing more I can do*     besides wait for my comrades to rescue me! [04:14] Chiyo     Oh, I'm so fortunate to be blessed     with so many cute girls as friends! [04:21] Chiyo     I'm so glad I quit being a ninja. SIGN    Maidenly Ninja     Chiyo SIGN    Hmph... [04:24] Narrator     Maidenly Ninja, Chiyo. [04:29] Chiyo     Several months ago,     I infiltrated this school [04:33] Chiyo     as part of my first assassination mission. [04:36] Chiyo     My target was the headmaster. [04:39] Chiyo     But I chose to abandon the mission     and live here as a normal girl. [05:04] Chiyo     Ever since, my village has been     sending assassins to terminate me, [05:09] Chiyo     but I can't let go of this happiness! [05:12] Rikka     Chiyo-san, did you hurt your hand? [05:14] Chiyo     Y-Yes. My dog bit me. [05:17] Tsubasa     Oh, you have a dog? [05:20] Tsubasa     Like a Labrador or something?     I can picture it already. [05:22] Chiyo     L-Lab? [05:24] Tsubasa     Well, maybe a well-to-do lady like you     doesn't care about breeds and such. [05:27] Tsubasa     Your butler probably     took care of everything. [05:29] Chiyo     N-No, that's not how I am. [05:32] Chiyo     I've tried to reveal as little     of my personal life as possible, [05:35] Chiyo     but somehow that's ended up being     interpreted as me being a high-class lady. [05:38] Chiyo     I feel a little bad. [05:43] Sekine     An alien and a ninja?!     You've gotta be kidding me! [05:43] Sekine     Wh-What?! SIGN    Wh-What?! SIGN    D-Class     Psychic     Sekine [05:46] Narrator     D-Class Psychic, Sekine. [05:49] Sekine     I'm just a normal middle school student. [05:51] Sekine     I have a lame psychic ability [05:53] Sekine     that occasionally makes other     peoples' thoughts flow into me. [05:57] Sekine     Aren't I supposed to be     brainwashed by alien technology? [06:01] Sekine     How is it that I'm able to realize     I'm being brainwashed? [06:04] Sekine     Maybe it's because we psychics     have abnormally structured brains? SIGN    I have no cure for that. [06:07] Sekine     That does cause some drugs     to not work on me, and things like that. SIGN    So you're saying I should just die? [06:10] Sekine     On top of that, we psychics have     an ID code engraved in our arms, [06:12] Sekine     and a GPS tracker     embedded in our bones. [06:14] Sekine     The Organization has us under constant     surveillance. It's the only way I can live. [06:18] Sekine     Honestly, it doesn't bother me, though. [06:25] Tsubasa     Why do I gotta go to an all-girls school? SIGN    Boy in Girl's Clothes     Tsubasa (Tsuyoshi) [06:29] Narrator     Boy in Girl's Clothes, Tsubasa—     real name, Tsuyoshi. [06:34] Tsubasa     It all started when... [06:37] (Flashback) Tsubasa (Sister)     Tsuyoshi! Did you get accepted     into Chikuin Boys' Academy? [06:41] (Flashback) Tsuyoshi     Yeah. [06:42] (Flashback) Tsubasa (Sister)     You're going to attend an     all-girls school in my place. [06:45] (Flashback) Tsuyoshi     What are you talking about? [06:47] (Flashback) Tsubasa     It looks like Takahashi-kun from Jennie's     will be going to Chikuin this year. [06:52] (Flashback) Tsuyoshi     B-But... SIGN    Do as I say, or you're dead. [06:52] (Flashback) Tsubasa (Sister)     It'll be fine. We're identical twins. [06:57] Tsubasa     When my sister gets like that,     there's no reasoning with her. [07:00] Tsubasa     That said, I did have some hope SIGN    Panty     Flash [07:02] Female student     Oh, you're so naughty. [07:02] Tsubasa     that by infiltrating an all-girls school,     I might end up having a few sexy accidents. [07:08] Lady     Hello, boy. [07:09] Tsubasa     But now that I think about it,     I prefer sexy women older than me. SIGN    No sex appeal SIGN    Too prim SIGN    Too immature [07:18] Tsubasa     Oh well, who cares as long as it's fun? [07:22] Sekine     I wonder why I can't read     Tsubasa's mind at all. [07:25] Narrator     Sekine's ability only works on     individuals of the same gender. SIGN    Doesn't understand the specifics      of her own powers [07:30] Tsubasa     Hey, Rikka, can I touch your stuffed animal? [07:35] Rikka     Huh? SIGN    Gulp [07:36] Tsubasa     You're always holding it, so I was     thinking it must feel really nice. [07:40] Tsubasa     I wanted to give it a try, if that's okay. [07:45] Rikka     I'm sorry. This was a precious gift     from my grandfather. [07:49] Tsubasa     I see. Like a birthday present? [07:52] Rikka     Well, it was a precious day for me— [07:56] Rikka     or rather, every citizen... [08:02] Rikka     A gift for our National Foundation Day! SIGN    Yikes. [08:05] Sekine     Oh no, Colonel, you got it wrong again! [08:07] Sekine     Earthlings don't generally give gifts     to celebrate the foundation of a nation! [08:12] Tsubasa     Erm, I see. I guess     that's how your family is. [08:16] Sekine     Oh, what a diplomatic response. [08:19] Rikka     That's right! The National Foundation Day     is a celebration of our national identity [08:22] Sekine     Colonel! [08:24] Rikka     and confirmation of our     rejection of imperialist ideals [08:24] Tsubasa     Oh, I need to go to the     restroom all of a sudden. [08:25] Rikka     intended to give a heartfelt thanks     to our ability to self-govern SIGN    Logging Out [08:27] Rikka     and confirm our commitment     to maintaining our freedoms. [08:29] Sekine     Tsubasa bailed. [08:29] Rikka     If you think about it, the concept     of national sovereignty is... [08:30] Rikka     You found out that I'm very     close to my grandfather. [08:34] Sekine     Oh, so that part is for real. [08:36] Rikka     Yes, my duty is to defend the ideals     of the Revolutionary Army [08:40] Rikka     that my grandfather started! [08:41] Rikka     As a colonel and ace pilot, I must return     to outer space as soon as possible! [08:46] Sekine     You're an ace pilot?! [08:48] Rikka     I should just undo the memory alteration     and come out proudly as an alien! [08:52] Rikka     Then I can use the extra energy     to send out a distress signal! [08:56] Rikka     Goodbye, everyone. [08:58] Rikka     Though our relationship was brief,     I am proud to have met you! [09:01] Rikka     Farewell, my Earthling friends! [09:03] Rikka     Goodbye, zaijian, sawasdi, adios, [09:05] Rikka     auf wiedersehen, au revoir! SIGN    The End [09:16] Sekine     No, we barely just started! [09:19] Sekine     Don't try to end it all of a sudden! [09:24] Rikka     Chiyo-san, Sekine-chan.     There's something important I must tell you. [09:28] Chiyo     What is it? [09:30] Sekine     Wh-What's up? [09:32] Sekine     What should I do? Should I stop her? [09:34] Rikka     There's a secret I've been keeping from you. [09:38] Rikka     I'm scared you might come     to dislike me if I reveal it. [09:41] Chiyo     Dislike you? Impossible! [09:43] Chiyo     Rikka-chan, I love you,     no matter what happens! SIGN    Sparkle                                         Sparkle [09:47] Rikka     Chiyo-san! [09:49] Sekine     Ugh! I can't bring myself to step in! [09:52] Rikka     In that case, I'll go ahead. [09:56] Rikka     Actually, I am... [09:58] Chiyo     My apologies. I have to visit the restroom. [10:02] Sekine     She totally caught a shuriken just now. [10:05] Tsubasa     Coming up with stuff to talk about is hard. [10:09] Tsubasa     I wonder what girls like to talk about? [10:12] Tsubasa     Oh, well. I should head back. [10:20] Chiyo     Fighting off assassins every day isn't easy. SIGN    Enemy blood [10:30] Rikka     Oh, you're both here? [10:33] Chiyo     Oh, um, it's, uh... [10:36] Chiyo     that time of the month! [10:38] Tsubasa     Time of the month? [10:41] Tsubasa     Oh, ah, right. It's rough, huh? SIGN    I know, right? [10:45] Rikka     A month? The length of one lunar orbit? [10:47] Rikka     How is this planet's satellite related? [10:50] Rikka     Yes! Me, too! SIGN    I totally get it! [10:52] Tsubasa     I get blood-soaked from head to toe, too! [10:55] Sekine     That's totally not how that works... [10:55] Rikka     I know, right? [10:57] Sekine     Seriously, though, what's     the matter with this school?! [11:03] Narrator     So thought Sekine, as she put     her own issues away on a shelf. SIGN    Shelf SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell [11:10] Sekine     Shelf! [11:14] Chiyo     How droll! [11:16] Chiyo     Is that true? [11:18] Tsubasa     Totally. Then Sekine was like... [11:21] Sekine     Come on, stop telling that story. [11:24] Tsubasa     What? But I want to. [11:25] Rikka     Oh, no. [11:30] Rikka     I'm about to pass gas. [11:33] Rikka     Why is this happening to me     all of a sudden? [11:36] Tsubasa     Rikka, is something the matter? [11:39] Rikka     No. All clear, move on! [11:41] Tsubasa     Huh? [11:41] Rikka     No! I can't reveal my military upbringing! [11:44] Rikka     They believe I'm an innocent child! [11:49] Tsubasa     Are you sweating? [11:50] Rikka     N-Not at all. [11:52] Rikka     Maybe these are teardrops from the stars. [11:56] Tsubasa     I worry about her ability     to make it in society. [11:59] Narrator     In a way, Colonel Rikka is totally     successful in her role-playing. [12:03] Chiyo     But it's true that you don't look well. [12:05] Rikka     Really? I feel A-OK! [12:10] Rikka     I can't allow them to worry about me! [12:14] Sekine     Is your ribbon getting wet, too? [12:17] Rikka     Ribbon? [12:18] Rikka     Does she mean my tentacles?! [12:20] Rikka     Is my mimesis wearing off?! [12:23] Sekine     Those are tentacles? [12:25] Sekine     It's dripping with strange fluids! [12:27] Chiyo     I'm glad you're feeling well. [12:29] Chiyo     Oh, by the way, [12:31] Chiyo     I made cookies for everyone.     Enjoy, Rikka-chan. [12:35] Rikka     Th-Thanks... [12:38] Tsubasa     Chiyo-san, you seem cheerful lately. [12:41] Chiyo     Oh, can you tell? [12:44] Chiyo     Until recently, I had to dedicate     all my time to my studies, but... [12:49] Chiyo     Lately, I've been able to     get into baking and sculpture. [12:53] Chiyo     It's so fulfilling! [12:56] Tsubasa     I see. SIGN    Sculpture...? [12:57] Tsubasa     So a well-off lady has elegant hobbies, too. [13:00] Chiyo     I truly feel they're worth pursuing. [13:04] Narrator     She has vowed to sculpt a Buddha     for every life her clan has taken. [13:08] Sekine     That's super heavy, Maidenly Ninja... [13:11] Rikka     Hey, everyone... [13:14] Rikka     Have you ever passed gas     in front of others? [13:18] Sekine     She decided to just come out with it. [13:20] Tsubasa     Oh, yeah, for sure. Totally. [13:22] Chiyo     I'm ashamed to admit it, but I have as, well. [13:25] Rikka     I see. That's a relief. [13:27] Rikka     So it wouldn't be an issue     for me to release it here... [13:31] Rikka     My chlorine gas. SIGN    Highly Toxic [13:33] Sekine     Highly toxic gas! Do not mix! [13:36] Sekine     Farting in front of humans     is definitely out of the question! [13:38] Tsubasa     Come on, it's just a natural bodily     function. It's not going to kill you. [13:43] Sekine     I'm saying this to protect you! [13:46] Tsubasa     Rikka's lacking in common sense,     but that can't be fixed overnight. [13:49] Tsubasa     What's a little gas, compared to     the weird stuff she always says? [13:52] Rikka     What? That's how people see me?! [13:56] Rikka     I'm trying so hard to blend in     with this planet's culture! [14:01] Sekine     Then do it somewhere alone! [14:04] Sekine     Preferably in an isolated room,     sealed off by duct tape! SIGN    Poof [14:07] Rikka     I'll go to the restroom for now! [14:11] Sekine     The other students are in danger! [14:35] Rikka     Oopsies! [14:36] Narrator     Fun fact: if you hold in a fart, [14:39] Narrator     the gasses are released from your mouth     and nose, mixed in with your breath. [14:42] Sekine     Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. [14:45] Narrator     This fact scored five "Whoa"s. [14:53] Sekine     Oh, Colonel Rikka left her     stuffed toy behind. SIGN    Don't spill [14:56] Sekine     This is what she brainwashes people with... [14:59] Chiyo     Oh, Sekine-san. [15:01] Tsubasa     You haven't gone home yet? [15:03] Sekine     I was writing up the class journal. SIGN    Don't spill [15:13] Rikka     I forgot something! [15:15] Rikka     Here it is. SIGN    Translation for Earthlings:          Enemy presence detected within three meters [15:17] Alien Voice     Pipipo pururu popibuppo     pappiriripuri puripurippo. SIGN    About three meters [15:36] Rikka     Put your hands behind your head,     and line up in front of me. [15:41] Chiyo     Like this? [15:42] Tsubasa     What are you talking about? [15:44] Rikka     I'm sorry, but this isn't a negotiation. [15:47] Rikka     You have ten seconds to comply     before I liquefy you [15:49] Rikka     with this Pupulum Fluid Discharger. [15:54] Sekine     She's dead serious! [15:57] Rikka     Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. [15:57] Tsubasa     What is all of this? [16:00] Sekine     Just do it. [16:01] Sekine     Just do it, please! [16:04] Narrator     They're seriously, like,     five seconds away from being shot. [16:07] Rikka     Five, four, three, two, one. [16:11] Chiyo     What kind of game is this? [16:13] Sekine     It's my fault! [16:15] Sekine     It has to be because I spilled     water on the Device. [16:18] Sekine     Should I just tell her the truth? [16:23] Sekine     What if she doesn't forgive me?! [16:27] Sekine     If I'm going to die anyway... [16:29] Sekine     Excuse me! [16:29] Sekine     There's something I've been dying to ask! [16:32] Rikka     Wh-What is it? [16:34] Sekine     Rikka... [16:39] Sekine     Do you poop from your tentacles, too? [16:44] Sekine     Yikes. I let my imagination     run wild with pessimism. [16:50] Rikka     Accursed spy. How dare you     infiltrate my friend network? [16:54] Rikka     I'll find you immediately. [16:57] Rikka     To do that... SIGN    I asked three Earthlings [17:01] Rikka     Earth Quiz, Question 1! [17:06] Rikka     Let's start with the basics. [17:08] Rikka     How many years ago was the Earth created? [17:11] Rikka     Any Earthling should easily     be able to answer this. [17:14] Tsubasa     Um, 4.6 billion years ago? [17:16] Rikka     How dense is the Earth compared to     the other planets of the solar system? [17:20] Tsubasa     It's the most dense, right? [17:22] Rikka     What is the prevailing theory     about how the Earth was formed? [17:25] Tsubasa     Protoplanet formation     through chondritic asteroids? [17:29] Rikka     Miss Tsubasa, you are... [17:35] Rikka     undoubtedly an Earthling! [17:37] Tsubasa     An Earthling? I just like astronomy. [17:41] Rikka     Next, Miss Sekine... [17:43] Sekine     Yes! It's 1/298.257222101! [17:51] Rikka     Correct. [17:52] Sekine     Psychic cheating is the best! SIGN    That's the ellipticity of the Earth. [17:55] Rikka     The only one left... is Chiyo-san. [17:58] Chiyo     I'll do my best! [18:00] Rikka     This beautiful, gentle girl couldn't     possibly be an Imperial spy... [18:07] (Flashback) Chiyo     Rikka-chan is so cute. [18:10] (Flashback) Chiyo     Don't worry! You aren't weird! [18:14] (Flashback) Rikka     Chiyo-san! [18:17] Rikka     I don't want to doubt her!     But I can't let my emotions interfere! [18:22] Rikka     The Earth Quiz is reaching its climax... SIGN    Hot choice SIGN    Round SIGN    Triangular SIGN    Square [18:27] Rikka     Which of these is the shape of the Earth?! [18:30] Chiyo     Triangular? [18:35] Rikka     Ch-Chiyo-san... [18:36] Chiyo     What's the right answer? I'm so excited! [18:40] Rikka     Chiyo-san, I'm sorry. [18:44] Rikka     You will become a foundation     of the revolution! [18:48] Sekine     Wait! Stop! [18:50] Sekine     Chiyo-san is just a bit goofy! [18:57] Tsubasa     What is this?! [18:58] Rikka     I missed? Not to mention, this gun     has no effect on Earthlings?! [19:05] Chiyo     Oh, no. I reflexively counterattacked. [19:16] Chiyo     Are you all right, Rikka-chan? [19:20] Rikka     My Device?! [19:21] Sekine     It was wet, so I dried it in the shade. [19:25] Sekine     Please, let it be fixed! [19:28] Rikka     The enemy reading is gone. [19:30] Rikka     Was it a malfunction? [19:33] Tsubasa     Rikka, what the heck was that all about? [19:37] Rikka     Um... [19:39] Rikka     I was playing make-believe as a     "hasty soldier who jumped at shadows [19:43] Rikka     and almost wound up with     civilian blood on her hands." [19:46] Narrator     She basically confessed. [19:48] Tsubasa     Your taste in hobbies is up to you,     but I think we deserve an apology. [19:52] Rikka     I'm sorry. [19:55] Rikka     As a token of remorse, [19:57] Rikka     I will give up this medal given     to me by my great leader. [20:02] Narrator     This is Colonel Rikka's     most prized possession. [20:05] Tsubasa     You're still playing make-believe?     You're not sorry at all. [20:10] Sekine     Um, actually, I think     she's really, truly sorry. [20:14] Sekine     I think that's a really     serious move on her part. [20:16] Chiyo     Please don't be so mad. [20:19] Chiyo     She just had an anemia attack. [20:22] Narrator     That's her cover story. [20:24] Tsubasa     You're both too soft on Rikka. [20:28] Tsubasa     The next time you pull that,     consider our friendship over. [20:31] Rikka     Yes... [20:33] Rikka     Now that I think about it, [20:35] Rikka     I should have just used the Device's     interrogation mode to make them confess. [20:38] Rikka     It has terrifyingly crippling side effects,     but only if they're lying. SIGN    Psst, psst, psst... SIGN    Psst... SIGN    Safe! [20:46] Sekine     Safe!! [20:54] Rikka     I managed to get through the day,     but lying really is difficult. [21:05] Chiyo     I will protect this lifestyle,     no matter what hardships await. [21:15] Tsubasa     What am I doing? [21:17] Tsubasa     I'll get in so much trouble if they find out. [21:25] Sekine     Why do I alone have to have     all these things to worry about? [21:28] Narrator     They say, "Show me a liar,     and I will show you a thief." [21:31] Narrator     But for them      it's "I will show you a friend." [21:35] Narrator     Where will their friendship go from here? SIGN    Class 2-B School Festival Venue:      Ninja Funhouse SIGN    Next Episode Preview SIGN    Day Duty:      Sekine [23:09] Sekine     It's finally begun. [23:11] Chiyo     Did you enjoy it? [23:13] Rikka     Next episode, a heated battle erupts between     the Galactic Empire and the Rebellion... [23:17] Chiyo     No way! Liars get their legs pulled off! SIGN    #02: School Festival [23:20] Tsubasa     I think you mean     "you're pulling my leg," Chiyo-san...