Season 1

E1 - The Four Girls’ Secrets

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Narrator
    This is Kashihara Girls' Academy.
[00:04] Narrator
    It is a prestigious school, widely regarded
[00:07] Narrator
    as an old-fashioned school
    for raising proper ladies.
[00:17] Chiyo
    My, how pretty.
[00:19] Chiyo
    Looks delicious.
[00:21] Sekine
    Chiyo-san, you're here early today.
[00:25] Chiyo
    How do you do, Sekine-san?
    Did you arrive with Tsubasa-san?
[00:29] Rikka
    Hey, everyone!
[00:33] Riika
    Good morning!
[00:35] Tsubasa
    Good morning.
[00:36] Chiyo
    How do you do, Rikka-chan?
[00:41] Narrator
    By all appearances,
    an ordinary morning scene,
[00:44] Narrator
    played out by four ordinary
    middle school girls.
[00:49] Narrator
    But these four each have their
    own special circumstances.
SIGN    Class 2-B
    Air Band
SIGN    The
SIGN    Lit
SIGN    tle
SIGN    Lies
SIGN    We
SIGN    All
SIGN    Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    Rikka
SIGN    Colonel
SIGN    Chiyo-san
SIGN    Ninja
SIGN    Sekine
SIGN    Psychic
SIGN    Tsubasa
SIGN    Tsuyoshi
SIGN    Boy
SIGN    Note:
     Is Sekine
SIGN    Maskuma Mask
SIGN    Class 2-B
    Air Band
SIGN    Poeh
SIGN    #01 The Four Girls' Secrets
SIGN    #01 The Four Girls' Secrets
SIGN    #01 The Four Girls' Secrets
SIGN    #01 The Four Girls' Secrets
SIGN    #01 The Four Girls' Secrets
SIGN    #01 The Four Girls' Secrets
SIGN    #01 The Four Girls' Secrets
SIGN    #01 The Four Girls' Secrets
SIGN    #01 The Four Girls' Secrets
SIGN    #01 The Four Girls' Secrets
SIGN    #01 The Four Girls' Secrets
[02:29] Rikka
    Wow, Chiyo-san's lunch looks delicious!
[02:33] Chiyo
    I made it all myself.
[02:36] Rikka
    Cool!
[02:38] Tsubasa
    Sekine, you're just having natto and rice?
[02:41] Sekine
    Natto is good for you.
[02:43] Tsubasa
    Yeah, that's true, but...
[02:45] Chiyo
    Would you like to try my rolled omelet?
[02:49] Rikka
    Really? Yay!
[02:54] Narrator
    They say "Show me a liar,
    and I will show you a thief," but...
[02:58] Narrator
    All of the people pictured here are liars.
[03:03] Rikka
    They must never find out...
[03:07] Rikka
    that I am Colonel Papipoporo Durrikka,
[03:09] Rikka
    109th Battalion of the Galactic
    Revolution Alliance Army!
SIGN    Loli Alien
     Rikka
[03:15] Narrator
    Loli Alien, Rikka!
[03:23] Rikka
    During combat against the Space Empire,
    my spacecraft was damaged,
[03:26] Rikka
    and I crash-landed on this planet.
[03:29] Rikka
    Fortunately, I was able to
    use my Emergency Device
[03:32] Rikka
    to manipulate the memories of the locals
    and infiltrate this school, but...
[03:38] Rikka
    Groovy! This is the bee's knees!
[03:42] Sekina
    What does that even mean?
[03:44] Rikka
    Did I make a mistake? Was that an error?!
SIGN    BWAH
[03:48] Rikka
    I'm trying to play the role
    of an innocent and naïve girl.
[03:50] Rikka
    Where did I go wrong?
[03:52] Narrator
    She simply targeted the wrong era.
[03:55] Chiyo
    Friend, friend.
[03:56] Rikka
    Through memory manipulation,
[03:56] Tsubasa
    Rikka is friend.
[03:57] Rikka
    they believe I am their
    "innocent and naïve" friend.
[03:58] Sekine
    Innocent and naïve, naïve.
SIGN    Om nom nom nom nom
[04:01] Rikka
    But what exactly is*
     "innocent and naïve"...?
[04:05] Rikka
    What if they begin to suspect me?
[04:07] Rikka
    Honestly, I'm so stressed,
    I can't even taste anything.
SIGN    So Delicious
[04:07] Rikka
    It's so delicious!
[04:09] Rikka
    But there's nothing more I can do*
    besides wait for my comrades to rescue me!
[04:14] Chiyo
    Oh, I'm so fortunate to be blessed
    with so many cute girls as friends!
[04:21] Chiyo
    I'm so glad I quit being a ninja.
SIGN    Maidenly Ninja
    Chiyo
SIGN    Hmph...
[04:24] Narrator
    Maidenly Ninja, Chiyo.
[04:29] Chiyo
    Several months ago,
    I infiltrated this school
[04:33] Chiyo
    as part of my first assassination mission.
[04:36] Chiyo
    My target was the headmaster.
[04:39] Chiyo
    But I chose to abandon the mission
    and live here as a normal girl.
[05:04] Chiyo
    Ever since, my village has been
    sending assassins to terminate me,
[05:09] Chiyo
    but I can't let go of this happiness!
[05:12] Rikka
    Chiyo-san, did you hurt your hand?
[05:14] Chiyo
    Y-Yes. My dog bit me.
[05:17] Tsubasa
    Oh, you have a dog?
[05:20] Tsubasa
    Like a Labrador or something?
    I can picture it already.
[05:22] Chiyo
    L-Lab?
[05:24] Tsubasa
    Well, maybe a well-to-do lady like you
    doesn't care about breeds and such.
[05:27] Tsubasa
    Your butler probably
    took care of everything.
[05:29] Chiyo
    N-No, that's not how I am.
[05:32] Chiyo
    I've tried to reveal as little
    of my personal life as possible,
[05:35] Chiyo
    but somehow that's ended up being
    interpreted as me being a high-class lady.
[05:38] Chiyo
    I feel a little bad.
[05:43] Sekine
    An alien and a ninja?!
    You've gotta be kidding me!
[05:43] Sekine
    Wh-What?!
SIGN    Wh-What?!
SIGN    D-Class
    Psychic
    Sekine
[05:46] Narrator
    D-Class Psychic, Sekine.
[05:49] Sekine
    I'm just a normal middle school student.
[05:51] Sekine
    I have a lame psychic ability
[05:53] Sekine
    that occasionally makes other
    peoples' thoughts flow into me.
[05:57] Sekine
    Aren't I supposed to be
    brainwashed by alien technology?
[06:01] Sekine
    How is it that I'm able to realize
    I'm being brainwashed?
[06:04] Sekine
    Maybe it's because we psychics
    have abnormally structured brains?
SIGN    I have no cure for that.
[06:07] Sekine
    That does cause some drugs
    to not work on me, and things like that.
SIGN    So you're saying I should just die?
[06:10] Sekine
    On top of that, we psychics have
    an ID code engraved in our arms,
[06:12] Sekine
    and a GPS tracker
    embedded in our bones.
[06:14] Sekine
    The Organization has us under constant
    surveillance. It's the only way I can live.
[06:18] Sekine
    Honestly, it doesn't bother me, though.
[06:25] Tsubasa
    Why do I gotta go to an all-girls school?
SIGN    Boy in Girl's Clothes
    Tsubasa (Tsuyoshi)
[06:29] Narrator
    Boy in Girl's Clothes, Tsubasa—
    real name, Tsuyoshi.
[06:34] Tsubasa
    It all started when...
[06:37] (Flashback) Tsubasa (Sister)
    Tsuyoshi! Did you get accepted
    into Chikuin Boys' Academy?
[06:41] (Flashback) Tsuyoshi
    Yeah.
[06:42] (Flashback) Tsubasa (Sister)
    You're going to attend an
    all-girls school in my place.
[06:45] (Flashback) Tsuyoshi
    What are you talking about?
[06:47] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    It looks like Takahashi-kun from Jennie's
    will be going to Chikuin this year.
[06:52] (Flashback) Tsuyoshi
    B-But...
SIGN    Do as I say, or you're dead.
[06:52] (Flashback) Tsubasa (Sister)
    It'll be fine. We're identical twins.
[06:57] Tsubasa
    When my sister gets like that,
    there's no reasoning with her.
[07:00] Tsubasa
    That said, I did have some hope
SIGN    Panty
    Flash
[07:02] Female student
    Oh, you're so naughty.
[07:02] Tsubasa
    that by infiltrating an all-girls school,
    I might end up having a few sexy accidents.
[07:08] Lady
    Hello, boy.
[07:09] Tsubasa
    But now that I think about it,
    I prefer sexy women older than me.
SIGN    No sex appeal
SIGN    Too prim
SIGN    Too immature
[07:18] Tsubasa
    Oh well, who cares as long as it's fun?
[07:22] Sekine
    I wonder why I can't read
    Tsubasa's mind at all.
[07:25] Narrator
    Sekine's ability only works on
    individuals of the same gender.
SIGN    Doesn't understand the specifics
     of her own powers
[07:30] Tsubasa
    Hey, Rikka, can I touch your stuffed animal?
[07:35] Rikka
    Huh?
SIGN    Gulp
[07:36] Tsubasa
    You're always holding it, so I was
    thinking it must feel really nice.
[07:40] Tsubasa
    I wanted to give it a try, if that's okay.
[07:45] Rikka
    I'm sorry. This was a precious gift
    from my grandfather.
[07:49] Tsubasa
    I see. Like a birthday present?
[07:52] Rikka
    Well, it was a precious day for me—
[07:56] Rikka
    or rather, every citizen...
[08:02] Rikka
    A gift for our National Foundation Day!
SIGN    Yikes.
[08:05] Sekine
    Oh no, Colonel, you got it wrong again!
[08:07] Sekine
    Earthlings don't generally give gifts
    to celebrate the foundation of a nation!
[08:12] Tsubasa
    Erm, I see. I guess
    that's how your family is.
[08:16] Sekine
    Oh, what a diplomatic response.
[08:19] Rikka
    That's right! The National Foundation Day
    is a celebration of our national identity
[08:22] Sekine
    Colonel!
[08:24] Rikka
    and confirmation of our
    rejection of imperialist ideals
[08:24] Tsubasa
    Oh, I need to go to the
    restroom all of a sudden.
[08:25] Rikka
    intended to give a heartfelt thanks
    to our ability to self-govern
SIGN    Logging Out
[08:27] Rikka
    and confirm our commitment
    to maintaining our freedoms.
[08:29] Sekine
    Tsubasa bailed.
[08:29] Rikka
    If you think about it, the concept
    of national sovereignty is...
[08:30] Rikka
    You found out that I'm very
    close to my grandfather.
[08:34] Sekine
    Oh, so that part is for real.
[08:36] Rikka
    Yes, my duty is to defend the ideals
    of the Revolutionary Army
[08:40] Rikka
    that my grandfather started!
[08:41] Rikka
    As a colonel and ace pilot, I must return
    to outer space as soon as possible!
[08:46] Sekine
    You're an ace pilot?!
[08:48] Rikka
    I should just undo the memory alteration
    and come out proudly as an alien!
[08:52] Rikka
    Then I can use the extra energy
    to send out a distress signal!
[08:56] Rikka
    Goodbye, everyone.
[08:58] Rikka
    Though our relationship was brief,
    I am proud to have met you!
[09:01] Rikka
    Farewell, my Earthling friends!
[09:03] Rikka
    Goodbye, zaijian, sawasdi, adios,
[09:05] Rikka
    auf wiedersehen, au revoir!
SIGN    The End
[09:16] Sekine
    No, we barely just started!
[09:19] Sekine
    Don't try to end it all of a sudden!
[09:24] Rikka
    Chiyo-san, Sekine-chan.
    There's something important I must tell you.
[09:28] Chiyo
    What is it?
[09:30] Sekine
    Wh-What's up?
[09:32] Sekine
    What should I do? Should I stop her?
[09:34] Rikka
    There's a secret I've been keeping from you.
[09:38] Rikka
    I'm scared you might come
    to dislike me if I reveal it.
[09:41] Chiyo
    Dislike you? Impossible!
[09:43] Chiyo
    Rikka-chan, I love you,
    no matter what happens!
SIGN    Sparkle
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
     Sparkle
[09:47] Rikka
    Chiyo-san!
[09:49] Sekine
    Ugh! I can't bring myself to step in!
[09:52] Rikka
    In that case, I'll go ahead.
[09:56] Rikka
    Actually, I am...
[09:58] Chiyo
    My apologies. I have to visit the restroom.
[10:02] Sekine
    She totally caught a shuriken just now.
[10:05] Tsubasa
    Coming up with stuff to talk about is hard.
[10:09] Tsubasa
    I wonder what girls like to talk about?
[10:12] Tsubasa
    Oh, well. I should head back.
[10:20] Chiyo
    Fighting off assassins every day isn't easy.
SIGN    Enemy blood
[10:30] Rikka
    Oh, you're both here?
[10:33] Chiyo
    Oh, um, it's, uh...
[10:36] Chiyo
    that time of the month!
[10:38] Tsubasa
    Time of the month?
[10:41] Tsubasa
    Oh, ah, right. It's rough, huh?
SIGN    I know, right?
[10:45] Rikka
    A month? The length of one lunar orbit?
[10:47] Rikka
    How is this planet's satellite related?
[10:50] Rikka
    Yes! Me, too!
SIGN    I totally get it!
[10:52] Tsubasa
    I get blood-soaked from head to toe, too!
[10:55] Sekine
    That's totally not how that works...
[10:55] Rikka
    I know, right?
[10:57] Sekine
    Seriously, though, what's
    the matter with this school?!
[11:03] Narrator
    So thought Sekine, as she put
    her own issues away on a shelf.
SIGN    Shelf
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
[11:10] Sekine
    Shelf!
[11:14] Chiyo
    How droll!
[11:16] Chiyo
    Is that true?
[11:18] Tsubasa
    Totally. Then Sekine was like...
[11:21] Sekine
    Come on, stop telling that story.
[11:24] Tsubasa
    What? But I want to.
[11:25] Rikka
    Oh, no.
[11:30] Rikka
    I'm about to pass gas.
[11:33] Rikka
    Why is this happening to me
    all of a sudden?
[11:36] Tsubasa
    Rikka, is something the matter?
[11:39] Rikka
    No. All clear, move on!
[11:41] Tsubasa
    Huh?
[11:41] Rikka
    No! I can't reveal my military upbringing!
[11:44] Rikka
    They believe I'm an innocent child!
[11:49] Tsubasa
    Are you sweating?
[11:50] Rikka
    N-Not at all.
[11:52] Rikka
    Maybe these are teardrops from the stars.
[11:56] Tsubasa
    I worry about her ability
    to make it in society.
[11:59] Narrator
    In a way, Colonel Rikka is totally
    successful in her role-playing.
[12:03] Chiyo
    But it's true that you don't look well.
[12:05] Rikka
    Really? I feel A-OK!
[12:10] Rikka
    I can't allow them to worry about me!
[12:14] Sekine
    Is your ribbon getting wet, too?
[12:17] Rikka
    Ribbon?
[12:18] Rikka
    Does she mean my tentacles?!
[12:20] Rikka
    Is my mimesis wearing off?!
[12:23] Sekine
    Those are tentacles?
[12:25] Sekine
    It's dripping with strange fluids!
[12:27] Chiyo
    I'm glad you're feeling well.
[12:29] Chiyo
    Oh, by the way,
[12:31] Chiyo
    I made cookies for everyone.
    Enjoy, Rikka-chan.
[12:35] Rikka
    Th-Thanks...
[12:38] Tsubasa
    Chiyo-san, you seem cheerful lately.
[12:41] Chiyo
    Oh, can you tell?
[12:44] Chiyo
    Until recently, I had to dedicate
    all my time to my studies, but...
[12:49] Chiyo
    Lately, I've been able to
    get into baking and sculpture.
[12:53] Chiyo
    It's so fulfilling!
[12:56] Tsubasa
    I see.
SIGN    Sculpture...?
[12:57] Tsubasa
    So a well-off lady has elegant hobbies, too.
[13:00] Chiyo
    I truly feel they're worth pursuing.
[13:04] Narrator
    She has vowed to sculpt a Buddha
    for every life her clan has taken.
[13:08] Sekine
    That's super heavy, Maidenly Ninja...
[13:11] Rikka
    Hey, everyone...
[13:14] Rikka
    Have you ever passed gas
    in front of others?
[13:18] Sekine
    She decided to just come out with it.
[13:20] Tsubasa
    Oh, yeah, for sure. Totally.
[13:22] Chiyo
    I'm ashamed to admit it, but I have as, well.
[13:25] Rikka
    I see. That's a relief.
[13:27] Rikka
    So it wouldn't be an issue
    for me to release it here...
[13:31] Rikka
    My chlorine gas.
SIGN    Highly Toxic
[13:33] Sekine
    Highly toxic gas! Do not mix!
[13:36] Sekine
    Farting in front of humans
    is definitely out of the question!
[13:38] Tsubasa
    Come on, it's just a natural bodily
    function. It's not going to kill you.
[13:43] Sekine
    I'm saying this to protect you!
[13:46] Tsubasa
    Rikka's lacking in common sense,
    but that can't be fixed overnight.
[13:49] Tsubasa
    What's a little gas, compared to
    the weird stuff she always says?
[13:52] Rikka
    What? That's how people see me?!
[13:56] Rikka
    I'm trying so hard to blend in
    with this planet's culture!
[14:01] Sekine
    Then do it somewhere alone!
[14:04] Sekine
    Preferably in an isolated room,
    sealed off by duct tape!
SIGN    Poof
[14:07] Rikka
    I'll go to the restroom for now!
[14:11] Sekine
    The other students are in danger!
[14:35] Rikka
    Oopsies!
[14:36] Narrator
    Fun fact: if you hold in a fart,
[14:39] Narrator
    the gasses are released from your mouth
    and nose, mixed in with your breath.
[14:42] Sekine
    Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
[14:45] Narrator
    This fact scored five "Whoa"s.
[14:53] Sekine
    Oh, Colonel Rikka left her
    stuffed toy behind.
SIGN    Don't spill
[14:56] Sekine
    This is what she brainwashes people with...
[14:59] Chiyo
    Oh, Sekine-san.
[15:01] Tsubasa
    You haven't gone home yet?
[15:03] Sekine
    I was writing up the class journal.
SIGN    Don't spill
[15:13] Rikka
    I forgot something!
[15:15] Rikka
    Here it is.
SIGN    Translation for Earthlings:
    
    Enemy presence detected within three meters
[15:17] Alien Voice
    Pipipo pururu popibuppo
    pappiriripuri puripurippo.
SIGN    About three meters
[15:36] Rikka
    Put your hands behind your head,
    and line up in front of me.
[15:41] Chiyo
    Like this?
[15:42] Tsubasa
    What are you talking about?
[15:44] Rikka
    I'm sorry, but this isn't a negotiation.
[15:47] Rikka
    You have ten seconds to comply
    before I liquefy you
[15:49] Rikka
    with this Pupulum Fluid Discharger.
[15:54] Sekine
    She's dead serious!
[15:57] Rikka
    Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six.
[15:57] Tsubasa
    What is all of this?
[16:00] Sekine
    Just do it.
[16:01] Sekine
    Just do it, please!
[16:04] Narrator
    They're seriously, like,
    five seconds away from being shot.
[16:07] Rikka
    Five, four, three, two, one.
[16:11] Chiyo
    What kind of game is this?
[16:13] Sekine
    It's my fault!
[16:15] Sekine
    It has to be because I spilled
    water on the Device.
[16:18] Sekine
    Should I just tell her the truth?
[16:23] Sekine
    What if she doesn't forgive me?!
[16:27] Sekine
    If I'm going to die anyway...
[16:29] Sekine
    Excuse me!
[16:29] Sekine
    There's something I've been dying to ask!
[16:32] Rikka
    Wh-What is it?
[16:34] Sekine
    Rikka...
[16:39] Sekine
    Do you poop from your tentacles, too?
[16:44] Sekine
    Yikes. I let my imagination
    run wild with pessimism.
[16:50] Rikka
    Accursed spy. How dare you
    infiltrate my friend network?
[16:54] Rikka
    I'll find you immediately.
[16:57] Rikka
    To do that...
SIGN    I asked three Earthlings
[17:01] Rikka
    Earth Quiz, Question 1!
[17:06] Rikka
    Let's start with the basics.
[17:08] Rikka
    How many years ago was the Earth created?
[17:11] Rikka
    Any Earthling should easily
    be able to answer this.
[17:14] Tsubasa
    Um, 4.6 billion years ago?
[17:16] Rikka
    How dense is the Earth compared to
    the other planets of the solar system?
[17:20] Tsubasa
    It's the most dense, right?
[17:22] Rikka
    What is the prevailing theory
    about how the Earth was formed?
[17:25] Tsubasa
    Protoplanet formation
    through chondritic asteroids?
[17:29] Rikka
    Miss Tsubasa, you are...
[17:35] Rikka
    undoubtedly an Earthling!
[17:37] Tsubasa
    An Earthling? I just like astronomy.
[17:41] Rikka
    Next, Miss Sekine...
[17:43] Sekine
    Yes! It's 1/298.257222101!
[17:51] Rikka
    Correct.
[17:52] Sekine
    Psychic cheating is the best!
SIGN    That's the ellipticity of the Earth.
[17:55] Rikka
    The only one left... is Chiyo-san.
[17:58] Chiyo
    I'll do my best!
[18:00] Rikka
    This beautiful, gentle girl couldn't
    possibly be an Imperial spy...
[18:07] (Flashback) Chiyo
    Rikka-chan is so cute.
[18:10] (Flashback) Chiyo
    Don't worry! You aren't weird!
[18:14] (Flashback) Rikka
    Chiyo-san!
[18:17] Rikka
    I don't want to doubt her!
    But I can't let my emotions interfere!
[18:22] Rikka
    The Earth Quiz is reaching its climax...
SIGN    Hot choice
SIGN    Round
SIGN    Triangular
SIGN    Square
[18:27] Rikka
    Which of these is the shape of the Earth?!
[18:30] Chiyo
    Triangular?
[18:35] Rikka
    Ch-Chiyo-san...
[18:36] Chiyo
    What's the right answer? I'm so excited!
[18:40] Rikka
    Chiyo-san, I'm sorry.
[18:44] Rikka
    You will become a foundation
    of the revolution!
[18:48] Sekine
    Wait! Stop!
[18:50] Sekine
    Chiyo-san is just a bit goofy!
[18:57] Tsubasa
    What is this?!
[18:58] Rikka
    I missed? Not to mention, this gun
    has no effect on Earthlings?!
[19:05] Chiyo
    Oh, no. I reflexively counterattacked.
[19:16] Chiyo
    Are you all right, Rikka-chan?
[19:20] Rikka
    My Device?!
[19:21] Sekine
    It was wet, so I dried it in the shade.
[19:25] Sekine
    Please, let it be fixed!
[19:28] Rikka
    The enemy reading is gone.
[19:30] Rikka
    Was it a malfunction?
[19:33] Tsubasa
    Rikka, what the heck was that all about?
[19:37] Rikka
    Um...
[19:39] Rikka
    I was playing make-believe as a
    "hasty soldier who jumped at shadows
[19:43] Rikka
    and almost wound up with
    civilian blood on her hands."
[19:46] Narrator
    She basically confessed.
[19:48] Tsubasa
    Your taste in hobbies is up to you,
    but I think we deserve an apology.
[19:52] Rikka
    I'm sorry.
[19:55] Rikka
    As a token of remorse,
[19:57] Rikka
    I will give up this medal given
    to me by my great leader.
[20:02] Narrator
    This is Colonel Rikka's
    most prized possession.
[20:05] Tsubasa
    You're still playing make-believe?
    You're not sorry at all.
[20:10] Sekine
    Um, actually, I think
    she's really, truly sorry.
[20:14] Sekine
    I think that's a really
    serious move on her part.
[20:16] Chiyo
    Please don't be so mad.
[20:19] Chiyo
    She just had an anemia attack.
[20:22] Narrator
    That's her cover story.
[20:24] Tsubasa
    You're both too soft on Rikka.
[20:28] Tsubasa
    The next time you pull that,
    consider our friendship over.
[20:31] Rikka
    Yes...
[20:33] Rikka
    Now that I think about it,
[20:35] Rikka
    I should have just used the Device's
    interrogation mode to make them confess.
[20:38] Rikka
    It has terrifyingly crippling side effects,
    but only if they're lying.
SIGN    Psst, psst, psst...
SIGN    Psst...
SIGN    Safe!
[20:46] Sekine
    Safe!!
[20:54] Rikka
    I managed to get through the day,
    but lying really is difficult.
[21:05] Chiyo
    I will protect this lifestyle,
    no matter what hardships await.
[21:15] Tsubasa
    What am I doing?
[21:17] Tsubasa
    I'll get in so much trouble if they find out.
[21:25] Sekine
    Why do I alone have to have
    all these things to worry about?
[21:28] Narrator
    They say, "Show me a liar,
    and I will show you a thief."
[21:31] Narrator
    But for them
     it's "I will show you a friend."
[21:35] Narrator
    Where will their friendship go from here?
SIGN    Class 2-B School Festival Venue:
     Ninja Funhouse
SIGN    Next Episode Preview
SIGN    Day Duty:
     Sekine
[23:09] Sekine
    It's finally begun.
[23:11] Chiyo
    Did you enjoy it?
[23:13] Rikka
    Next episode, a heated battle erupts between
    the Galactic Empire and the Rebellion...
[23:17] Chiyo
    No way! Liars get their legs pulled off!
SIGN    #02: School Festival
[23:20] Tsubasa
    I think you mean
    "you're pulling my leg," Chiyo-san...

E2 - School Festival

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:09] Tsubasa
    Damn, it's hot.
[00:11] Tsubasa
    I'm wearing this to avoid
    the sailor-uniform look,
[00:15] Tsubasa
    but it's really getting too hot for it...
[00:18] Narrator
    Tsubasa—real name Tsuyoshi—
    wants to look as un-cross-dressy as possible.
[00:24] Tsuyoshi
    I'm home.
[00:26] Tsubasa (Sister)
    Welcome back.
SIGN    Class 2-B
    Air Band
SIGN    The
SIGN    Lit
SIGN    tle
SIGN    Lies
SIGN    We
SIGN    All
SIGN    Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    Rikka
SIGN    Colonel
SIGN    Chiyo-san
SIGN    Chiyo-san
SIGN    Ninja
SIGN    Sekine
SIGN    Psychic
SIGN    Tsubasa
SIGN    Tsuyoshi
SIGN    Boy
SIGN    Note:
     Is Sekine
SIGN    Maskuma Mask
SIGN    Class 2-B
    Air Band
SIGN    Poeh
SIGN    #02: School Festival
SIGN    #02: School Festival
SIGN    #02: School Festival
SIGN    #02: School Festival
SIGN    #02: School Festival
SIGN    #02: School Festival
SIGN    #02: School Festival
SIGN    #02: School Festival
SIGN    #02: School Festival
SIGN    #02: School Festival
SIGN    #02: School Festival
SIGN    #02: School Festival
[02:05] Tsuyoshi
    Yikes.
[02:07] Narrator
    Allow me to explain.
[02:09] Narrator
    In this school, there is a special uniform
[02:12] Narrator
    only allowed during summer,
    called the "Midsummer Outfit."
[02:15] Narrator
    It comes with a special undergarment
    to guard against any potential translucency.
[02:19] Tsuyoshi
    This is...
[02:21] Tsuyoshi
    not happening.
[02:22] Tsuyoshi
    No, no, no, no, definitely no.
SIGN    We can't show you,
    but he's wearing boxers.
SIGN    Gloom
[02:25] Tsuyoshi
    I've endured the sailor-style uniform, but...
SIGN    I'm on Team Boxers
SIGN    I'm on Team Boxers
[02:29] Tsuyoshi
    Sis, I can't do this anymore.
    Let's switch back!
[02:34] Tsuyoshi
    Stop taking photos!
[02:37] Tsuyoshi
    No, no, no, no, no! Anything but that!
[02:47] Tsubasa
    Good morning.
[02:51] Rikka
    Good morning!
[02:55] Chiyo
    How do you do, Tsubasa-san?
SIGN    No sparkles
    for Sekine,
     huh...
[02:58] Tsubasa
    I see you're all wearing
    the midsummer outfit today.
[03:01] Sekine
    It's just too dang hot.
[03:03] Sekine
    Honestly, the underwear
    it comes with is kind of a pain.
[03:08] Sekine
    This is a girls-only school, so really...
[03:14] Sekine
    I think something like this'd be fine.
[03:16] Narrator
    Kiyoshi.
SIGN    Kiyoshi
[03:19] Chiyo
    B-But the underwear is so cute, too!
[03:23] Chiyo
    I love lace.
[03:26] Tsubasa
    You sure do, Chiyo-san.
[03:28] Sekine
    It's fine if you like it...
[03:31] Chiyo
    I got so excited, I ended up making a number
    of small accessories to match the outfit!
[03:36] Sekine & Tsubasa & Rikka
    Wow, awesome!
[03:38] Chiyo
    I haven't slept in three days.
[03:40] Sekine
    Her dedication to cuteness is off the charts.
[03:43] Chiyo
    I've always been so attached to cute things.
[03:48] Chiyo
    I still remember...
[03:53] (Flashback) Chiyo
    Stand back!
[03:54] (Flashback) Hanzo
    B-But you can't do this alone!
[03:57] (Flashback) Chiyo
    I can't put someone so cute at risk!
    I, Chiyo, will handle this!
[04:01] Sekine
    That one was Chiyo-san?!
[04:04] Chiyo**
    I admired that ponytail so much.
[04:07] Chiyo
    Um, if it's not too much to ask,
[04:11] Chiyo
    it would be wonderful if you all
    could try on these items...
[04:15] Tsubasa
    What?
[04:19] Rikka
    Wow! So cute!
[04:24] Rikka
    It's like a dream come true,
    being able to wear this!
[04:27] Sekine
    The Colonel is a girl, too, after all.
[04:30] Rikka
    Ow, my tentacles!
SIGN    Fold over
[04:33] Chiyo
    Fold it over, fold it again,
    and tie it up with a rubber band...
SIGN    Fold again
SIGN    Tie with rubber band
SIGN    No Blood Flow
[04:39] Rikka
    No blood flow!
SIGN    Complete!
[04:41] Rikka
    Chiyo-san, why did you have to
    tie it so tightly...
[04:45] Rikka
    I don't care what I wear
[04:46] Rikka
    as long as it doesn't interfere
    with my military duties, but...
[04:50] Rikka
    Hmm?
[04:56] Rikka
    I'm bleeding, too?!
[04:58] Chiyo
    Was it too loose?
[05:01] Rikka
    Oh, no! It's definitely super tight!
[05:04] Narrator
    She's telling the truth.
[05:05] Chiyo
    Tsubasa-san, if I might...
[05:07] Tsubasa
    No, it's fine. I'll just watch.
[05:11] Rikka
    Try it, Tsubasa-chan.
[05:13] Sekine
    It'll look good on you.
[05:15] Tsubasa
    It most definitely won't look good.
[05:17] Tsubasa
    Really, I'm fine.
[05:19] Chiyo
    But I'm sure this would look great on you!
SIGN    Dirndl!
[05:23] Tsubasa
    Wh-What is that?
[05:25] Chiyo
    It's a traditional dress.
[05:27] Tsubasa
    Why is everyone so enthusiastic?
[05:30] Tsubasa
    Oh, maybe...
[05:32] Tsubasa
    I don't look good in cute things!
[05:36] Tsubasa
    Is that how they see me?
[05:41] Narrator
    Sekine's powers only work
    on the same gender,
[05:45] Narrator
    so she can't understand
    what Tsubasa is thinking.
[05:48] Chiyo
    You're not large like me,
    so it'll look good on you.
[05:52] Tsubasa
    Be more aware of your own good looks.
[05:54] Sekine
    If you don't like it, just sell it online.
[05:58] Tsubasa
    That sounds inhumane.
[06:00] Rikka
    Just wear it, and this can all be over!
[06:03] Narrator
    This is becoming an emergency.
SIGN    Conscience
[06:11] Chiyo
    Why not also put on some makeup,
     while we're at it?
[06:14] Tsubasa
    No, this isn't, like, a "tomboy being shy
    about cute things" deal.
[06:15] Rikka
    Hurry, hurry!
[06:17] Rikka
    It hurts! The bleeding won't stop! Hurry!
[06:21] Tsubasa
    It's really just that... I really...
[06:24] Tsubasa
    I really don't want to wear this!
[06:27] Narrator
    The soul cries out, unheard.
[06:32] Tsubasa (Sister)
    Hey, Tsuyoshi. Welcome home—
[06:41] Tsuyoshi
    No photos!
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    click
[06:42] Tsubasa (Sister) & Tsuyoshi
    The Little Lies We All Tell.
SIGN    click
SIGN    click
SIGN    click
SIGN    Fort unes
[06:48] Chiyo
    Oh look, "Guardian Spirit Fortune Telling."
SIGN    Turtle Shell Divination
SIGN    Four Pillars of Destiny
SIGN    Guardian Spirit Fortune Telling
SIGN    Future Divination
SIGN    And more!
SIGN    Student
    Price
SIGN    yen
[06:51] Chiyo
    I wonder what that's like?
[06:53] Rikka
    I wonder!
[06:55] Rikka
    How backwards this planet must be
    to believe in such foolishness.
[07:00] Sekine
    Man, that's steep! How many days'
    worth of food would that buy?
[07:03] Tsubasa
    Looks shady as hell.
    I don't like these spiritual things.
[07:11] Fortune Teller
    It might look shady,
    but I am the real deal!
[07:15] Fortune Teller
    You there, I can take a look if you want.
[07:18] Tsubasa
    Nah... Guardian spirits? No thanks.
[07:23] Fortune Teller
    You don't believe me?
    Let's see your future, then.
SIGN    The Real Deal - Correct All the Time
[07:27] Tsubasa
    Fine. Tell me who I'm going to marry one day.
[07:30] Fortune Teller
    Very well.
[07:34] Fortune Teller
    I can see it. The person you'll marry is...
[07:40] Fortune Teller
    Hmm?
[07:45] Fortune Teller
    Oh, I see! She likes girls! OK!
[07:50] Tsubasa
    What is it?
[07:51] Fortune Teller
    You might be keeping this a secret,
    so I won't go into the details,
[07:55] Fortune Teller
    but don't worry, you'll meet
    a wonderful partner.
[07:59] Fortune Teller
    Just wait for the government to act!
SIGN    Rumble rumble...
[08:01] Tsubasa
    Government?
SIGN    Government
SIGN    Rumble rumble...
SIGN    Rumble rumble...
SIGN    Rumble rumble...
[08:03] Fortune Teller
    You might have concerns right now,
[08:06] Fortune Teller
    but don't worry! Society changes!
[08:10] Fortune Teller
    I saw a great wedding reception.
[08:12] Tsubasa
    Huh.
[08:14] Chiyo
    Um, can you read my fortune as well?
[08:18] Fortune Teller
    Of course!
[08:19] Chiyo
    I'd like to hear about my guardian spirit.
[08:23] Fortune Teller
    I see.
[08:24] Fortune Teller
    She seems like a well-to-do girl.
[08:27] Fortune Teller
    For these types,
    I often see their ancestors...
[08:35] Fortune Teller
    Oh?
[08:37] Fortune Teller
    This one... was a famous CEO?
[08:40] Fortune Teller
    I knew it. She's from a high-class family.
[08:43] Fortune Teller
    Huh? A former noble?
    And that famous billionaire?!
[08:47] Fortune Teller
    She's related to all of those people?
[08:54] Fortune Teller
    You're being protected
    by many wonderful people.
[08:57] Chiyo
    My, that is wonderful!
[09:00] Chiyo
    I assumed I would be cursed
[09:04] Chiyo
    by all the people my family has killed.
[09:07] Narrator
    Don't celebrate just yet.
[09:09] Rikka
    I'd like a guardian spirit reading, too!
[09:13] Fortune Teller
    Oh, what a cute girl.
[09:16] Fortune Teller
    For these types, it's often
    their grandparents or a dog.
[09:29] Fortune Teller
    What? A fish-man?!
[09:32] Rikka
    If spirits do exist,
[09:35] Rikka
    I'm sure I am haunted by
    the remnants of my enemies.
[09:45] Fish Alien
    Chinjao! Chinjao rosu!
[09:47] Fish Alien
    Green onions and chicken! Ramen!
[10:01] Sekine
    Please rest well.
[10:04] Rikka
    Fortune-telling results...
    after these messages!
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    Fortune-telling results...
SIGN    after these messages!
[10:12] Tsubasa
    The school festival, huh?
SIGN    Midsummer Outfit Season Is Over
[10:16] Narrator
    The midsummer outfit season is over.
[10:20] Sekine
    What should our class production
    be for the festival?
[10:23] Tsubasa
    Something safe, like a café.
[10:26] Chiyo
    Oh, a café! That sounds wonderful!
[10:29] Chiyo
    I've already gone ahead
    and prepared outfits, just in case!
[10:35] Rikka
    Welcome!
[10:38] Chiyo
    Rikka-chan is the waitress!
[10:41] Sekine
    Tried-and-true adorable.
[10:42] Tsubasa
    It's impressive how wholesome it is.
[10:45] Sekine
    Would you like some fresh-baked cookies?
[10:48] Chiyo
    A rustic style for Sekine-san!
[10:50] Rikka
    It's so cute!
[10:52] Tsubasa
    That's Aunt Stella.
[10:56] Chiyo
    A bellboy style for Tsubasa-san!
[10:59] Sekine
    It fits oddly well.
[11:01] Rikka
    So gallant!
[11:04] Sekine
    Chiyo-san, what about you?
[11:06] Chiyo
    Well, for me...
[11:09] Chiyo
    Welcome home, ladies.
[11:12] Rikka
    So cool!
[11:14] Sekine
    Too handsome...
[11:15] Tsubasa
    I've been outdone.
[11:17] Chiyo
    If there are any other outfits
    you'd like to try,
[11:19] Chiyo
    please ask me any time you wish!
[11:23] Rikka
    In that case, a mil—
SIGN    Military Uniform!
[11:24] Chiyo
    But I just know a maid outfit
    would suit you best, Rikka-chan!
[11:27] Rikka
    ...uniform...
SIGN     Military Uniform!
SIGN    Maid Outfit
[11:30] Rikka
    I mean, I'd love to try on a maid outfit!
[11:33] Narrator
    Colonel Rikka prioritizes friendship.
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
[11:36] Rikka
    The Little Lies We All Tell.
[11:52] Sekine
    Chiyo-san, what are you sewing?
[11:55] Chiyo
    A new outfit for Rikka-chan.
[11:58] Sekine
    You made another one, huh?
[12:00] Sekine
    You should wear one, too.
[12:03] Chiyo
    But I... No, I...
[12:05] Sekine
    Come on. Just try it.
[12:08] Chiyo
    Oh, wait...
[12:16] Chiyo
    How do I look?
[12:19] Sekine
    She looks like a person
    who performs certain services.
[12:21] Narrator
    Bluntly stated.
[12:31] Chiyo
    P-Please say something...
[12:35] Sekine
    What's the correct answer here?
[12:38] Tsubasa
    Morning. Hmm?
[12:47] Tsubasa
    It's someone who provides
    adult entertainment!
[12:48] Narrator
    Fastball, dead center.
[12:54] Tsubasa
    Um, Chiyo-san, it's...
[12:58] Chiyo
    I'm sorry I put you in a tough spot.
[13:01] Chiyo
    I knew it wouldn't suit me.
[13:04] Sekine & Tsubasa
    It does suit you, it's just...
[13:06] Sekine
    Chiyo-san, that's not it.
    You'd get a lot of appointments!
[13:10] Chiyo
    Appointments?
[13:11] Narrator
    Sekine, flustered, blurts out
    something terrible.
[13:15] Tsubasa
    Wait, Sekine! I'll take it from here!
[13:21] Tsubasa
    Chiyo-san, first, I want you to understand
[13:24] Tsubasa
    that some call it the world's
    oldest profession.
[13:27] Tsubasa
    It's not something to be ashamed of,
[13:28] Tsubasa
    and actually has the potential
    of making many people happy...
[13:31] Narrator
    The preamble is too long.
[13:33] Rikka
    Wow, Chiyo-san! Where'd you get that outfit?
[13:37] Rikka
    It's like you stepped out of
    a picture book! It's so cute!
[13:41] Chiyo
    Really?
[13:44] Rikka
    Rikka never lies!
[13:46] Sekine
    You constantly lie.
[13:50] Rikka
    What a wonderful beauty!
[13:52] Rikka
    It's almost like she stepped
    straight out of...
SIGN    Safety and
     cleanliness first
SIGN    No disrobing,
     masks OK
SIGN    Best rates
     in the area
SIGN    Make solid money with soft services!
SIGN    Wear cute uniforms!
SIGN    Transportation fee covered
SIGN    Inexperienced workers welcome
SIGN    No lessons needed
SIGN    Apply here
SIGN    60-minute pack
    starting at 10,000 Yen
SIGN    Inexperienced workers welcome!
SIGN    Start same-day
SIGN    Pay per day, high rates
SIGN    60,000 yen per day possible
SIGN    Maids wanted!
SIGN    We are an establishment
    where girls can work safely
[13:55] Rikka
    this book of pictures I found yesterday!
[13:57] Narrator
    Put it back!
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
[13:59] Rikka
    The Little Lies We All Tell!
SIGN    Bazaar: 1
SIGN    Shooting gallery: 4
SIGN    Café: 11
SIGN    Research Presentation: 1
SIGN    Food service: 2
SIGN    Haunted house: 5
[14:02] Sekine
    I think we've gotten all the ideas down
    for school festival productions.
SIGN    Class 2-B School Festival Production Ideas
[14:07] Sekine
    The café idea is the most popular
    right now, I think.
[14:11] Sekine
    That said, we'd want to set ourselves apart
    from the other classes somehow.
[14:15] Sekine
    We can use the revenue for the after-party.
[14:17] Rikka
    What are the other classes doing?
[14:20] Chiyo
    Mostly sweets shops,
    like crêpes and cookies.
[14:24] Sekine
    In that case, perhaps we should go
    for something a bit unorthodox.
[14:30] Tsubasa
    I want to do a ninja mansion.
[14:33] Sekine
    That does sound pretty unorthodox.
[14:36] Students
    Sounds good. Let's just go with that.
[14:39] Chiyo
    Wait, but...
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    FURIN KAZAN
    Swift as the Wind
    Still as the Forest
    Daring as the Fire
    Steady as the Mtn
[14:43] Chiyo
    Welcome to the Ninja Mansion.
[14:46] Chiyo
    This one shall be your guide, nin. Nin, nin!
[14:50] Chiyo
    I cannot allow that ninja to be.
[14:52] Chiyo
    I'll accept anything
    but the ninja mansion! Anything!
[14:55] Chiyo
    I have to push for something different
    with the same core idea...
[15:00] Chiyo
    Tsubasa-san!
[15:02] Chiyo
    What about a Japanese-style café?
[15:04] Tsubasa
    Japanese-style...
[15:05] Sekine
    ...café?
[15:06] Chiyo
    If we served red bean soup and traditional
    sweets, that would set us apart!
[15:09] Sekine
    Welcome.
[15:10] Chiyo
    It would be so wonderful!
    Wonderful! Wonderful!
[15:11] Tsubasa
    This way, please.
[15:12] Rikka
    Yay! Welcome!
[15:15] Tsubasa
    That's still just a café.
[15:18] Narrator
    Chiyo's presentation is quickly shut down.
[15:20] Sekine
    Who likes the ninja mansion idea?
SIGN    Class 2-B Production Ideas
    Ninja Mansion
[15:25] Sekine
    It's settled. Our class production is...
SIGN    Ninja Mansion
[15:29] Narrator
    A ninja mansion.
[15:31] Narrator
    She, like, can't stand the idea.
    For all kinds of reasons.
[15:38] Tsubasa
    I actually really love ninjas.
[15:43] Tsubasa
    I seriously tried to become a ninja
    when I was younger.
[15:43] Young Tsuyoshi
    One! Two! Three!
[15:46] Tsubasa
    Ninjas are super cool, after all.
[15:49] Tsubasa
    I still kinda want to be one.
[15:53] Chiyo
    I-If she feels so strongly about this,
    then I suppose I can...
[15:57] Tsubasa
    So I think my skills as a ninja
    are pretty up there.
[16:00] Chiyo
    Huh?
[16:06] Tsubasa
    See how good my shuriken throwing is?
[16:14] Tsubasa
    Chiyo-san, that's incredible...
    You weren't even looking at the target!
[16:18] Chiyo
    Oh, no, it's nothing.
[16:20] Chiyo
    I mean, I'd say that's
    the bare minimum level
[16:22] Chiyo
    for someone who wants
    to call themselves a ninja.
[16:26] Narrator
    Her professional's spirit is leaking out.
[16:28] Rikka
    You must have practiced a lot! Good for you!
[16:31] Chiyo
    O-Oh, not at all. It's just
    a basic skill for all ladies.
[16:36] Narrator
    Define "lady."
[16:38] Chiyo
    Oh, no. I shouldn't have let that get to me.
[16:42] Chiyo
    I already quit being a ninja.
[16:45] Chiyo
    I'm spending the rest
    of my days as a regular girl.
[16:49] Chiyo
    No more shurikens!
[16:52] Tsubasa
    Damn, and I thought I was pretty good, too.
[16:57] Sekine
    Tsubasa, that's enough.
[17:01] Tsubasa
    I know! I'll do a thousand push-ups
    before the day of the festival
[17:05] Tsubasa
    so that I can get better
    than Chiyo-san at the shuriken!
[17:10] Chiyo
    Oh, yeah?
[17:17] Tsubasa
    It's true...
[17:18] Chiyo
    One hundred and fifty-six.
[17:20] Tsubasa
    Yes, ma'am.
[17:25] Tsubasa
    I did say I was gonna do a thousand push-ups.
[17:28] Sekine & Rikka
    You can do it!
[17:30] Chiyo
    One hundred and fifty-seven.
[17:31] Tsubasa
    Yes, ma'am...
[17:34] Tsubasa
    But that was more like
    a figurative declaration.
[17:38] Tsubasa
    I wasn't literally going to do
    a thousand push-ups...
[17:40] Chiyo
    One hundred and fifty-eight.
[17:45] Chiyo
    Oh? I didn't hear your response.
[17:49] Tsubasa
    Y-Yes, ma'am!
[17:58] Chiyo
    Oh, dear.
[18:00] Tsubasa
    I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore, ma'am.
[18:03] Narrator
    The polite form comes out naturally.
[18:05] Chiyo
    Oh. Well, Rikka-chan,
[18:08] Chiyo
    can you help out Tsubasa-san...
[18:10] Tsubasa
    Is she going to give me water or something?
[18:12] Chiyo
    ...by sitting on her back, please?
[18:14] Rikka
    Yes!
[18:21] Chiyo
    After you've thrown up,
    that's when the real workout begins.
[18:24] Tsubasa
    Is she a demon?
[18:25] Rikka
    But I shouldn't be sitting on her back!
[18:28] Tsubasa
    Thank you, Rikka! Please get off!
[18:30] Rikka
    I'm too light!
[18:33] Rikka
    It should be Sekine-chan!
[18:37] Narrator
    Sekine knew that this was the Colonel's
    honest and well-meaning suggestion.
[18:42] Narrator
    She was telling only the truth.
[18:47] Sekine
    Am I heavy, Tsubasa?
[18:51] Rikka
    You can do it!
[18:53] Chiyo
    You'd never find something like this heavy,
    would you, Tsubasa-san?
[18:58] Tsubasa
    It's not heavy at all! Ma'am!
[19:00] Narrator
    He reads the room in two ways.
SIGN    Harakiri
SIGN    Shinobi
SIGN    Sukiyaki
[19:03] Sekine
    Unfortunately, Tsubasa will be absent
    due to muscle cramps.
SIGN    Target Range
SIGN    Tuna
SIGN    Ice
SIGN    Steak on Rice
SIGN    Furin Kazan
SIGN    Harakiri
SIGN    Shinobi
SIGN    Sukiyaki
SIGN    Furin Kazan
SIGN    Shaved
    Ice
SIGN    Day of the School Festival
[19:09] Sekine
    This was not at all unexpected.
[19:15] Sekine
    Now we need someone to replace her...
[19:19] Chiyo
    It would be my honor.
SIGN    1-B Takoyaki
SIGN    Ninja Mansion Available 2-B
[19:25] Mr. Brian
    Wow!
[19:28] Mr. Brian
    2-B is doing a ninja mansion!
[19:31] Rikka
    Oh, it's Mr. Brian, the English teacher!
SIGN    Welcome
[19:34] Sekine & Students
    Welcome to the ninja mansion!
SIGN    Tuna
SIGN    Shaved Ice
[19:50] Mr. Brian
    They did a good job, but it's just
    a classroom production, after all.
[19:53] Mr. Brian
    I'll just overreact to humor them.
[19:57] Chiyo
    Mr. Brian,
[19:59] Chiyo
    this one shall be your guide, nin. Nin, nin!
[20:04] Mr. Brian
    What the hell is going on?!
[20:11] Mr. Brian
    Oh, my gosh!
[20:12] Mr. Brian
    No kidding!
[20:14] Mr. Brian
    Marvelous! Japanese ninja!
[20:18] Mr. Brian
    Amazing! Incredible!
[20:23] Chiyo
    I did it. I saw it through to the end.
[20:26] Chiyo
    But a friendship, once lost,
    can never be recovered...
[20:30] Sekine
    Why don't you just go apologize?
[20:33] Chiyo
    But will she forgive me?
[20:37] Sekine
    Well, you could bring along
    something that Tsubasa likes.
[20:41] Chiyo
    Something Tsubasa-san likes?
[20:45] Chiyo
    I'm so...
[20:47] Chiyo
    So very sorry.
[20:50] Tsubasa
    It's fine. Please don't grovel like that.
[20:54] Chiyo
    But...
[20:56] Tsubasa
    I'm just glad you're back
    to your normal self.
[21:00] Chiyo
    Tsubasa-san...
[21:02] Tsubasa
    I mean, I did miss the chance
    to dress up as a ninja, but...
[21:07] Chiyo
    As a token of my apology,
    here is a set of ninja tools.
[21:13] Chiyo
    It's my gift to you.
[21:15] Tsubasa
    Really?
[21:17] Tsubasa
    Wow... Thanks!
[21:20] Tsubasa
    This blood-rust paint job
    looks so realistic!
[21:23] Tsubasa
    The chip here, and the
    blade marks here, wow!
[21:25] Narrator
    Try as she might, it wouldn't wash off.
SIGN    The Little Lies
     We All Tell
[21:28] Tsubasa
    The Little Lies We All Tell!
[21:32] Tsubasa (Sister)
    It sold for a high price.
[21:34] Tsuyoshi
    What are you doing?!
[21:35] Tsuyoshi
    That was a gift!
SIGN    Next Episode Preview
SIGN    Day Duty:
     Sekine
[23:09] Tsubasa
    Let's do a proper "next
    episode preview" this time.
[23:11] Chiyo
    Yes. After all, next episode, we're
    introducing the protagonist of the show!
[23:16] Rikka
    The name is...
[23:17] Chiyo
    Maskuma!
[23:17] Rikka
    Space Octopus!
[23:18] Chiyo
    It's "Maskuma"!
SIGN    #03: Surprise
[23:19] Rikka
    It's "Space Octopus"!
[23:21] Chiyo
    Maskuma!
[23:22] Rikka
    Space Octopus!
[23:22] Sekine
    Who cares...?
[23:23] Chiyo
    Maskuma!

E3 - Surprise

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Rikka
    I'm starving!
[00:05] Chiyo
    Would you like to have some takoyaki here?
[00:08] Tsubasa
    That place isn't that great,
    but it'll do.
SIGN    Takoyaki
[00:12] Shopkeeper
    Welcome!
[00:14] Shopkeeper
    Hello there, cutie!
[00:16] Shopkeeper
    Here, one extra on the house!
[00:19] Rikka
    Yay! Thank you!
[00:21] Shopkeeper
    Good to see you again, beautiful!
[00:24] Shopkeeper
    Here ya go, one extra!
[00:26] Chiyo
    Thank you.
[00:28] Shopkeeper
    Well, ain't you a pretty one!
[00:31] Shopkeeper
    Have an extra!
[00:33] Tsubasa
    Um, thanks.
[00:35] Narrator
    Tsubasa has mixed feelings about this.
[00:38] Shopkeeper
    Here you go!
[00:39] Shopkeeper
    Thanks!
[00:48] Narrator
    No extra for Sekine.
SIGN    Class 2-B
    Air Band
SIGN    The
SIGN    Lit
SIGN    tle
SIGN    Lies
SIGN    We
SIGN    All
SIGN    Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    Rikka
SIGN    Colonel
SIGN    Chiyo-san
SIGN    Chiyo-san
SIGN    Ninja
SIGN    Sekine
SIGN    Psychic
SIGN    Tsubasa
SIGN    Tsuyoshi
SIGN    Boy
SIGN    Note:
     Is Sekine
SIGN    Maskuma Mask
SIGN    Class 2-B
    Air Band
SIGN    Poeh
SIGN    #03: Surprise
SIGN    #03: Surprise
SIGN    #03: Surprise
SIGN    #03: Surprise
SIGN    #03: Surprise
SIGN    #03: Surprise
SIGN    #03: Surprise
SIGN    #03: Surprise
SIGN    #03: Surprise
SIGN    #03: Surprise
SIGN    #03: Surprise
SIGN    #03: Surprise
[02:28] Chiyo
    It's my fault for suggesting
    we should eat something...
[02:32] Tsubasa
    If he hadn't given me an extra either,
    it wouldn't have been so bad...
[02:35] Sekine
    Stop... When you try to be nice,
    it makes me feel worse...
[02:41] Sekine
    I have to pull off an
    "I don't mind at all" move...
[02:46] Sekine
    Look! I found an extra!
[02:49] Sekine
    Here! Takoyaki!
[03:05] Chiyo
    Sekine-san, I'm actually
    a regular at that place.
[03:10] Chiyo
    I think that's the only reason
    why he gave me an extra.
[03:13] Chiyo
    So please don't take it the wrong way.
[03:17] Tsubasa
    Besides, that takoyaki
    doesn't even taste good.
[03:20] Tsubasa
    He just gives out extras because
    that's the only way he can get customers.
[03:25] Rikka
    Yeah, who even wants an extra
    if it doesn't taste good?
[03:29] Narrator
    Everyone is doing their best
    to back Sekine up.
[03:33] Sekine
    Guys...
[03:35] Male student 1
    Um, excuse me.
[03:43] Male student 1
    This is my ID. Message me if you have time.
SIGN    Wink!
[03:49] Male student 2
    Please.
[03:50] Male student 3
    And me, thanks.
[03:53] Male students
    Bye!
[03:53] Male students
    See ya.
[03:53] Male students
    I'll be waiting!
SIGN    The one who was completely ignored
SIGN    The one
     who forgot
     to say no
[04:00] Chiyo
    I'll kill them. They're amateurs,
    so I'll only need three minutes...
[04:04] Sekine
    Please don't go so far.
[04:07] Sekine
    Uhh... Life!
[04:11] Sekine
    Life is so precious!
[04:15] Sekine
    Life!
SIGN    Life
[04:21] Sekine
    Ain't it?!
SIGN    Ain't it?!
[04:23] Rikka & Tsubasa
    "Ain't it?!"
[04:25] Sekine
    Life... is...
[04:28] Sekine
    flowers, the moon, the wind, and friends...
SIGN    Ain't it
[04:33] Sekine
    ain't it?
[04:35] Rikka & Tsubasa & Chiyo
    Ain't it...
[04:37] Chiyo
    Sh-She's right. Life is precious.
SIGN    Phew
SIGN    What was that?
[04:42] Chiyo
    That was close.
[04:44] Tsubasa
    But seriously, that shopkeeper has no taste!
[04:50] Tsubasa
    After all, Sekine is obviously the one
[04:51] Tsubasa
    that'll be the most popular
    when we all get older, right?
[04:54] Sekine
    Huh?
[04:55] Rikka
    Um... Yeah!
[04:56] Chiyo
    R-Right!
[04:58] Tsubasa
    Being popular later is much better
    than being popular now.
[05:02] Tsubasa
    Our time as students
    is just a tiny checkpoint
[05:04] Tsubasa
    in our century-long human lives!
[05:06] Rikka
    Exactly!
[05:08] Chiyo
    The future is more important
    than the present!
[05:10] Sekine
    Guys...
[05:12] Tsubasa
    Because above all else,
    Sekine has the biggest breasts!
[05:16] Tsubasa
    They're the biggest in our class, right?
[05:18] Chiyo
    Is that supposed to be a compliment?
[05:21] Tsubasa
    Even if you end up being a bit plump,
    big boobs guarantee you'll be popular.
[05:25] Tsubasa
    That shopkeeper probably only saw your face!
[05:28] Chiyo
    Stop...
[05:29] Rikka
    Don't do this to her...
[05:31] Tsubasa
    Don't worry! At parties,
    guys only look at the breasts!
[05:35] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    Guys only look at the breasts!
    Guys only look at the breasts!
[05:40] Sekine
    So, Tsubasa, do you wanna
    trade my rack for your face?
[05:45] Tsubasa
    Huh? Well, uh...
[05:48] Tsubasa
    What is this atmosphere?
[05:48] Children's Singing Voice
    Uh oh, someone's in trouble!
[05:49] Tsubasa
    I was trying to be nice.
    Why is everyone so taken aback?
[05:54] Narrator
    He did his best, for an eighth-grade boy.
[05:56] Rikka
    Katsu!
[05:59] Sekine
    A Zen-monk-style scolding? What?
SIGN    Swirl...
[06:12] Rikka
    I'm starving!
[06:15] Chiyo
    Would you like to have some takoyaki here?
[06:18] Tsubasa
    That place isn't that great,
    but it'll do.
[06:25] Sekine
    We went back in time?!
[06:28] Rikka
    Good. Seems like our
    time warp was successful.
[06:31] Sekine
    You can do that?!
[06:34] Rikka
    I must win back Miss Sekine's dignity.
[06:37] Sekine
    She did it for me?
SIGN    Phew
[06:39] Sekine
    Now we can avoid
    that funeral-like mood.
SIGN    Takoyaki
[06:45] Rikka
    Sekine-chan, could you step aside?
SIGN    Delicious
SIGN    Specialty
SIGN    Takoyaki
[06:48] Sekine
    Oh, sure.
[06:50] Sekine
    What is it?
[06:51] Rikka
    Good. Now all that's left is...
[06:54] Rikka
    to turn all humans on Earth
    besides Miss Sekine into Space Hogs.
[06:58] Narrator
    Operation: Earthlings to Space Hogs.
[07:02] Rikka
    Thus, Miss Sekine will become the
    most beautiful human on Earth!
[07:08] Rikka
    Victory by default is still victory!
SIGN    Translation: What a beauty!
SIGN    Translation: The winner is Sekine-san!
[07:12] Space Hogs
    Oink! Oink-oink-oink!
[07:14] Space Hogs
    Oink! Oinkity oink!
SIGN    Translation: What is the secret
    behind your beauty?
[07:18] Interviewer Hog
    Oink, oink-oinky oinky oink-oink?
[07:20] Sekine
    Oh, nothing special.
[07:24] Sekine
    I should really stop her, huh?
[07:26] Narrator
    For a moment, she considered it.
[07:45] Chiyo & Tsubasa
    Oink?
[07:47] Sekine
    What?!
[07:51] Rikka
    Success! All humans other than
    Miss Sekine are now Space Hogs!
[07:58] Chiyo
    Oink...
[08:00] Hog Crowd
    Oink! Oink, oink, oink, oink, oink!
[08:02] Hog Crowd
    Oinkity-oink! Oinkity-oink!
[08:05] Hog Crowd
    O-O-Oink! Oinkity-oink! Oink, oink!
[08:09] Narrator
    The human race has been defeated...
    and so has Sekine.
[08:13] Rikka
    What...?!
[08:16] Rikka
    Then how about this?
[08:18] Rikka
    All humans are now Space Frogs!
[08:20] Space Frogs
    Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit!
[08:22] Narrator
    A second crushing blow!
[08:24] Rikka
    All humans, become minerals!
[08:32] Narrator
    Oh, Sekine!
[08:41] Rikka
    Now that I think about it,
    of course hogs would prefer hogs,
[08:43] Rikka
    and frogs would prefer frogs.
    That's just common sense.
[08:45] Narrator
    If only she'd realized that beforehand!
[08:50] Chiyo
    Hmm? What just happened?
SIGN    Delicious
SIGN    Specialty
SIGN    Takoyaki
[08:53] Rikka
    U-Um, we were trying to buy takoyaki.
[08:57] Sekine
    She wiped that whole block of memory.
[09:00] Sekine
    The Colonel's brainwashing is intense.
[09:02] Rikka
    I have to come up with a new plan of action!
[09:05] Sekine
    Enough, already!
[09:07] Sekine
    Um, this might sound a bit sudden, but...
[09:09] Sekine
    I think it's the personality that counts.
[09:16] Sekine
    At this point, it's almost
    refreshingly easy to accept.
[09:22] Sekine
    No matter what my appearance
    is like, I have to live with it.
[09:26] Rikka
    Sekine-chan!
[09:28] Rikka
    You're right! You are who you are!
[09:32] Tsubasa
    Where did that come from?
[09:34] Chiyo
    What about appearances?
[09:36] Rikka
    Besides, Earthlings are such
    simple constructs!
[09:39] Tsubasa
    Aren't we pretty complex?
[09:41] Rikka
    Huh? I mean, uh, friendship!
[09:44] Chiyo
    Yes. Our friendship will never change.
[09:48] Tsubasa
    What is this about?
[09:58] Chiyo
    Are you all right?!
[10:05] Sekine
    I really am out of luck today.
[10:13] Rikka
    Sekine-chan.
[10:14] Chiyo
    Sekine-san.
[10:15] Tsubasa
    Sekine.
[10:18] Tsubasa
    You should always be covered
    with muddy water.
[10:20] Sekine
    Why?!
[10:21] Narrator
    A straight punch of goodwill.
[10:28] Rikka
    Come on, let's go home.
    We can get takoyaki another time.
[10:31] Tsubasa
    Sounds good.
[10:32] Sekine
    Yeah.
[10:33] Chiyo
    Let's do that.
[10:37] Rikka
    That said, I must do something to prevent
    others from suffering like Miss Sekine did.
[10:41] Rikka
    I know! If the takoyaki
    was actually delicious,
[10:44] Rikka
    he wouldn't have to throw in extras
    to attract customers.
SIGN    500 yen per plate
SIGN    500 yen per plate
[10:55] Rikka
    I turned his octopus into Space Octopus,
    said to be the most delicious in the universe.
[11:00] Rikka
    You're welcome.
[11:02] Shopkeeper
    I've never seen such a
    delicious-looking octopus before!
[11:06] Shopkeeper
    Perhaps with this, I can compete on taste?
[11:19] Narrator
    The Space Octopus, through homing instinct,
    returned to outer space.
[11:22] Narrator
    After that point, no one ever saw
    a takoyaki stall in that area again.
SIGN    I never realized the takoyaki here
     wasn't good.
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
[11:27] Chiyo
    I never realized the
    takoyaki here wasn't good.
[11:35] Rikka
    Tsubasa-chan, how many
    piercings do you have?
[11:38] Tsubasa
    Nine in total, I think.
[11:39] Rikka
    Wow!
[11:41] Sekine
    That's quite a few.
[11:43] Chiyo
    They look good on you!
[11:45] Tsubasa
    Thanks.
[11:46] Tsubasa
    That reminds me. These piercings
    are how Sekine and I became friends.
[11:50] Sekine
    Oh, right. It was after
    the entrance ceremony.
[12:00] (Flashback) Teacher
    You there.
SIGN    New Cafeteria Menu:
     Soba & Udon Noodles 250 yen
SIGN    New Cafeteria Menu:
     Soba & Udon Noodles 250 yen
[12:03] (Flashback) Teacher
    Come to the faculty office later.
[12:05] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    Oh... Yes.
[12:08] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    Is she going to talk about my piercings?
[12:11] (Flashback) Sekine
    Tsubasa-san.
SIGN    New Cafeteria Menu:
     Soba & Udon Noodles 250 yen
SIGN    New Cafeteria Menu:
     Soba & Udon Noodles 250 yen
[12:13] (Flashback) Sekine
    I'll talk to the teacher and convince her.
[12:16] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    Huh?
[12:17] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    Um, thanks.
[12:19] Tsubasa
    What a nice girl.
[12:20] (Flashback) Sekine
    Five hundred yen should be enough.
[12:23] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    Huh?
[12:26] (Flashback) Sekine
    Yes, I know. But it's for
    religious reasons, and...
[12:30] Tsubasa
    She's making up a whole backstory!
SIGN    New Cafeteria Menu:
     Soba & Udon Noodles 250 yen
SIGN    New Cafeteria Menu:
     Soba & Udon Noodles 250 yen
[12:32] (Flashback) Sekine
    I was able to trick her.
[12:34] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    Um, thanks.
[12:36] (Flashback) Sekine
    Tsubasa-san, want to get lunch
    at the cafeteria later?
[12:40] (Flashback) Sekine
    I'll treat you to one of those
    50-yen juice boxes.
SIGN    New Cafeteria Menu:
     Soba & Udon Noodles 250 yen
SIGN    New Cafeteria Menu:
     Soba & Udon Noodles 250 yen
[12:44] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    With my own money?
[12:46] Sekine
    That feat was only possible because
    of my highly developed social skills.
[12:49] Tsubasa
    I guess I do owe you thanks.
[12:52] Sekine
    Also, when Chiyo-san transferred in
    during the middle of our first year...
[13:00] (Flashback) Sekine
    Oh, that girl...
[13:02] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    Hmm? Who?
[13:04] (Flashback) Sekine
    I heard she's from a really
    well-to-do family. And she's so pretty.
[13:09] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    Wow, that's cool.
[13:11] (Flashback) Sekine
    Let's ask her out to lunch.
[13:13] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    Huh?
[13:13] (Flashback) Sekine
    Doesn't she have a
    "buys you lunch" kind of vibe?
[13:16] (Flashback) Sekine
    Like the new menu:
    meat-topped noodles, 390 yen.
[13:20] Narrator
    Sekine stays true to herself.
[13:23] (Flashback) Sekine
    Would you like to have lunch with us—
[13:25] (Flashback) Chiyo
    No, thank you.
[13:32] Chiyo
    I am here to take the headmaster's life.
[13:34] Chiyo
    I don't have time to make friends.
[13:37] (Flashback) Sekine
    That's too bad. I would have loved
    to have lunch together with her.
SIGN    Maskuma Figurine Strap
SIGN    Kyoto Ayanama
     Let's Go
     Tea-Emon
[13:50] (Flashback) Sekine
    Thank you for the food.
[13:52] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    Oh, it comes with a little Maskuma.
[13:54] (Flashback) Sekine
    Hmm.
[13:55] (Flashback) Sekine
    Oh, I already have this one.
[13:59] (Flashback) Sekine
    Would you like it?
[14:00] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    Stop shoving things you
    don't want onto other people.
SIGN    Line For Maskuma Merchandise
     Ends Here
[14:13] (Flashback) Chiyo
    Good morning.
[14:15] (Flashback) Sekine & Tsubasa
    Ch-Chiyo-san...?
[14:17] Sekine
    I remember that.
[14:19] Tsubasa
    Chiyo-san really got into Maskuma.
[14:22] Chiyo
    I-It was so cute, I couldn't hold back.
[14:26] Chiyo
    Thanks to that, I was able to...
[14:52] (Flashback) Chiyo
    Maskuma!
[14:59] (Flashback) Chiyo
    I don't want to kill!
[15:03] (Flashback) Chiyo
    I want to collect limited-edition
    Maskuma collectibles!
[15:07] Chiyo
    If I hadn't found Maskuma,
[15:09] Chiyo
    I wouldn't have been able to make
    the decision to leave the clan.
[15:12] Sekine
    Maskuma was the reason?!
[15:17] Tsubasa
    We all still have ours, too.
[15:20] Chiyo
    Yes.
[15:21] Sekine
    Indeed.
[15:23] Rikka
    Of course!
[15:25] Sekine
    Colonel, you weren't there at the time.
[15:27] Tsubasa
    I remember how Rikka lost hers at the
    school camp, and we all tried to find it.
[15:32] Sekine
    The Colonel fabricated that memory.
[15:35] Chiyo
    I remember making those
    dress-up dolls for Christmas.
[15:39] Sekine
    And that one.
[15:41] Rikka
    We all wore matching ones to the
    Glory to the Supreme Leader Meeting.
[15:45] Chiyo
    Oh, I remember that!
[15:47] Tsubasa
    Yeah, we did.
[15:48] Chiyo
    We ate Hot Pot for the Revolution.
[15:51] Tsubasa
    Oh yeah, that Hot Pot for
    the Revolution was great.
[15:53] Sekine
    All of that is fake.
[15:56] Sekine
    What's a Hot Pot for the Revolution, anyway?
[15:59] Sekine
    Huh? Wait a minute...
[16:01] Sekine
    When did the Colonel appear, anyway?
[16:04] Narrator
    Sekine is aware that she
    has been brainwashed,
[16:06] Narrator
    but she can't be certain which memories
    are fake and which are real.
[16:11] Sekine
    Oh well, I'll be all right. Since...
[16:15] Sekine
    my heart is always with the teachings
    of the Supreme Leader!
[16:21] Narrator
    The brainwashing is really strong.
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
[16:24] Sekine
    The Little Lies We All Tell.
SIGN    Drama Club
[16:27] Rikka
    Hmm? What's this?
[16:30] Tsubasa
    Oh, this party cracker?
    It's a prop we used for club activities.
[16:36] Tsubasa
    We have so many left over.
[16:41] Rikka
    Ch-Chiyo-san! I'm sorry!
[16:47] Tsubasa
    She's crying?!
[16:48] Chiyo
    Oh, everyone... A surprise?!
[16:54] Chiyo
    Just remembering my birthday
    would have been enough!
[16:59] Chiyo
    And yet you went and planned
    a surprise party...
[17:05] Chiyo
    I must be the happiest person in the world!
[17:09] Rikka & Tsubasa & Sekine
    Happy birthday!
SIGN    Birthday Surprise Successful!!
[17:11] Narrator
    "Birthday Surprise Successful!"
    They decided to just run with it.
[17:15] Sekine
    No, but, what are we going to do?
    Nobody's prepared anything—
[17:19] Rikka
    A present from me to you!
[17:22] Sekine
    Colonel? When did you get that ready?!
[17:25] Rikka
    A super-special...
[17:30] Rikka
    used eraser!
[17:33] Chiyo
    Rikka-chan... How...
[17:39] Chiyo
    How did you know what
    I most wanted right now?!
[17:48] Sekine
    B-Brainwashing?!
[17:49] Sekine
    The Colonel messed with Chiyo-san's brain
[17:52] Sekine
    to make a used eraser
    the thing she wanted most!
[17:56] Chiyo
    An eraser? A writing utensil.
[18:00] Chiyo
    E-Eraser!
[18:02] Sekine
    N-Not fair...
[18:04] Sekine
    Or rather, if you're going to go that far,
[18:06] Sekine
    why not just delete her desire
    to have her birthday celebrated?
[18:10] Sekine
    What's Tsubasa going to do?
[18:12] Sekine
    Should we both grovel for forgiveness?
SIGN    Conscience
[18:17] Tsubasa
    Uh, oh. I...
[18:24] Tsubasa
    I bought a present...
[18:27] Tsubasa
    I just wanted to do the minimum
    needed to come off as a girl,
[18:29] Tsubasa
    I didn't expect to be required to provide
    an element of surprise as well...
SIGN    Conscience
[18:33] Tsubasa
    Chiyo-san, I'm sorry.
[18:35] Tsubasa
    I got you something really ordinary.
[18:38] Chiyo
    Thank you very much. May I open it?
[18:41] Tsubasa
    Of course.
[18:42] Chiyo
    Wow, how cute!
SIGN    Conscience
[18:45] Tsubasa
    If there's anything else you want me to do
    for you as a birthday present...
[18:49] Chiyo
    Oh, no, this is quite enough.
[18:51] Tsubasa
    No, please, do it for me.
[18:53] Chiyo
    Well, if you insist...
[18:55] Chiyo
    May I play with your hair again?
[19:00] Tsubasa
    Huh?!
[19:02] Chiyo
    That setup we did for your midsummer
    outfit looked very nice on you.
[19:06] Tsubasa
    If that's what it takes to make her happy...
[19:10] Chiyo
    It's wonderful, Tsubasa-san.
SIGN    Mirror
[19:15] Sekine
    Oh, no. That's the "you're
    up next, Sekine-san" look.
[19:20] Sekine
    Y-Yikes...
[19:23] Sekine
    We have no other choice.
[19:24] Sekine
    Are we doing it?
[19:25] Sekine
    Yes.
[19:27] Narrator
    By "it," Sekine is referring to her ability
[19:29] Narrator
    to unlock control over her psychic powers.
[19:32] Narrator
    It is called "Mistress Time."
[19:35] Narrator
    However, with great power comes great cost.
[19:40] Sekine
    As long as I stay in Mistress Time, I... I...
[19:47] Sekine
    I gain weight rapidly!
SIGN    Psychokinesis
[19:54] Sekine
    I'm going to use this bag-shaped drone
    to write a message in the sky!
[20:03] Tsubasa
    Whoa.
[20:04] Rikka
    Great!
[20:05] Chiyo
    Wow.
[20:06] Sekine
    Happy birthday!
[20:09] Chiyo
    What a beautiful message!
[20:14] Sekine
    At least I was able to keep it at a minimum—
[20:16] Chiyo
    Sekine-san.
[20:17] Chiyo
    Tsubasa-san.
[20:18] Chiyo
    Rikka-chan.
[20:20] Chiyo
    Thank you all so very much.
[20:23] Chiyo
    I've never had my birthday
    celebrated in this way before.
[20:28] Chiyo
    To be able to attend this school
    and become friends with you
[20:32] Chiyo
    is more than I ever could have wished for.
[20:35] Chiyo
    I'm so happy.
[20:37] Sekine
    That was a lot of work, but if it
    made her that happy, I'm glad I—
[20:40] Chiyo
    So, Sekine-san, if it's all right,
    could you also write this in the sky?
[20:46] Sekine
    Huh?
[20:47] Chiyo
    That we'll remain friends forever,
    no matter how many years pass.
[21:04] Sekine
    Here we go!
[21:15] Rikka
    Always...
[21:17] Tsubasa
    Friends...
[21:33] Narrator
    The great cost of Mistress Time.
SIGN    Next Episode Preview
SIGN    Day Duty:
     Sekine
[23:09] Rikka
    The Space Octopus vs Maskuma
    showdown was awesome!
[23:12] Sekine
    Did they fight...?
[23:14] Chiyo
    Next episode has two parts, "The Maskuma
    Typhoon Begins" and "Hold Your Skirts."
[23:19] Chiyo
    Look forward to it!
SIGN    #04 - Wish Upon a Star
[23:20] Sekine
    Those are all lies!
[23:22] Tsubasa
    No, there is one truth in there.

E4 - Wish Upon a Star

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Narrator
    Common occurrences in
    Kashihara Girls' Academy, #1.
[00:04] Chiyo
    Oh, look! There's a haze covering the UFO.
[00:08] Tsubasa
    Yeah. Maybe it'll rain tomorrow.
[00:11] Narrator
    Weather forecasting using the UFO.
[00:14] Sekine
    Everyone else can see the UFO, too.
    They just can't find it odd.
[00:19] Rikka
    I know, let's all sing that song!
[00:23] Chiyo
    What a wonderful suggestion!
[00:25] Chiyo
    Oh, the UFO shines on the high tower.
[00:34] Chiyo & Tsubasa
    The light shines, carrying our
    hopes and dreams to space.
[00:38] Narrator
    Common occurrences in
    Kashihara Girls' Academy, #2.
[00:41] Narrator
    When students gather together, they
    spontaneously start singing the school song.
[00:43] Chiyo & Tsubasa
    Admiration in our hearts, far beyond we go.
[00:45] Sekine
    Wait, the school song got altered!
    When did that happen?!
[00:47] Chiyo & Tsubasa
    To the future.
[00:49] Narrator
    Common occurrences in
    Kashihara Girls' Academy, #3.
[00:53] Narrator
    There is sometimes a space alien
    atop the UFO, looking melancholy.
[00:58] Rikka
    My revolutionary comrades must
    be fighting out there right now.
[01:03] Rikka
    Yet, I...
[01:05] Rikka
    What am I doing here?
[01:08] Rikka
    Please wait. I will return, I promise!
SIGN    Class 2-B
    Air Band
SIGN    The
SIGN    Lit
SIGN    tle
SIGN    Lies
SIGN    We
SIGN    All
SIGN    Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    Rikka
SIGN    Colonel
SIGN    Chiyo-san
SIGN    Chiyo-san
SIGN    Ninja
SIGN    Sekine
SIGN    Psychic
SIGN    Tsubasa
SIGN    Tsuyoshi
SIGN    Boy
SIGN    Note:
     Is Sekine
SIGN    Maskuma Mask
SIGN    Class 2-B
    Air Band
SIGN    Poeh
SIGN    #04: Wish Upon a Star
SIGN    #04: Wish Upon a Star
SIGN    #04: Wish Upon a Star
SIGN    #04: Wish Upon a Star
SIGN    #04: Wish Upon a Star
SIGN    #04: Wish Upon a Star
SIGN    #04: Wish Upon a Star
SIGN    #04: Wish Upon a Star
SIGN    #04: Wish Upon a Star
SIGN    #04: Wish Upon a Star
SIGN    #04: Wish Upon a Star
SIGN    #04: Wish Upon a Star
[02:47] Chiyo
    I baked cookies for everyone today.
[02:51] Chiyo
    Please enjoy them, if you'd like.
[02:54] Rikka
    Wow, looks delicious!
[02:56] Rikka & Sekine & Tsubasa
    Thank you for the food!
[02:59] Tsubasa
    Wow, that's good.
[03:02] Rikka
    Yep, this is delicious!
    I wanna marry Chiyo-san!
[03:06] Chiyo
    Oh, I'm honored.
[03:09] Sekine
    Chiyo-san'd be my first choice to marry, too.
[03:13] Chiyo
    You also, Sekine-san? Thank you.
[03:15] Sekine
    Tsubasa, if you had to marry
    one of us, who would it be?
[03:18] Tsubasa
    Huh?
[03:25] Tsubasa
    What's the right answer here?
[03:28] Tsubasa
    They're all friends to me. I've never even
    thought of them like this before.
[03:32] Tsubasa
    But not being able to casually answer
    a question like this could seem suspicious.
[03:40] Tsubasa
    Maybe I should just follow
    the crowd and say Chiyo-san.
SIGN    The Traditional Beauty
[03:44] Tsubasa
    She's kind, very pretty,
    good at cooking and sewing...
[03:48] Tsubasa
    I could totally brag
    about her to my friends.
SIGN    She's so pretty!
[03:50] Inoue
    Wow!
[03:52] Tsubasa
    Aw yeah.
[03:54] Tsubasa
    But having a house full of Maskuma
    would be bad.
[03:57] Tsubasa
    Also, I don't understand what sets her off!
[04:01] (Flashback) Chiyo
    After you've thrown up,
    that's when the real workout begins.
[04:04] Tsubasa
    It still upsets my stomach
    just thinking about it.
[04:08] Tsubasa
    Sekine is the one that's easiest to be with.
[04:11] (Flashback) Sekine
    Let's go to the chain
    restaurant after school.
[04:13] (Flashback) Sekine
    They have a limited-time offer!
    40% cash back if you use the payment app!
[04:18] Tsubasa
    She's down-to-earth, and I could
    just be myself dating her.
[04:22] Tsubasa
    But...
[04:23] Sekine
    I always wear tracksuits.
[04:25] Sekine
    They're comfortable,
    I don't mind if they get dirty,
[04:28] Sekine
    they double as pajamas, and you can
    wear them both indoors and outdoors.
[04:30] Sekine
    They're the best.
[04:33] Tsubasa
    There's just no spark whatsoever.
[04:36] Sekine
    I can't read her thoughts, but I can
    more or less tell what she's thinking.
SIGN    The Little Sister
[04:41] Tsubasa
    Rikka is innocent and cute,
    but if I introduced her to my friends...
SIGN    The Little Sister
SIGN    The Little Sister
SIGN    The Little Sister
SIGN    The Little Sister
[04:46] Inoue
    Gross!
SIGN    Gross
[04:47] Inoue
    Tsuyoshi, are you dating a grade-schooler?
[04:51] Tsubasa
    People might think I'm a pedophile.
[04:53] Tsubasa
    Also, I don't want to attend
    her strange gatherings...
SIGN    UFO Gathering
SIGN    Pamphlet
[04:56] Rikka
    We meet at the UFO every Sunday.
[05:00] Rikka
    I'll teach you about the glorious leader
    that I respect so very much.
[05:08] Tsubasa
    It's a supremely tough question.
    And not in a good way.
[05:11] Sekine
    How rude.
[05:13] Sekine
    So what's your ideal partner like, then?
[05:15] Tsubasa
    Huh? Hmm...
[05:18] Tsubasa
    I'd like someone who's frank
    and chill. Almost manly.
SIGN    Manly personality
SIGN    Manly personality
[05:22] Tsubasa
    Someone with a punk-girl style,
    who wears revealing clothes.
SIGN    Piercings
    (punk girl style)
SIGN    Piercings
    (punk girl style)
SIGN    Short skirt
    (revealing clothes)
SIGN    Short skirt
    (revealing clothes)
[05:26] Tsubasa
    Short hair would be a plus, too.
SIGN    Short hair
SIGN    Short hair
[05:28] Tsubasa
    But where would I find anyone like that?
[05:31] Narrator
    Right here.
[05:35] Sekine
    She just loves herself!
[05:40] Students
    Did you see that yesterday?
[05:41] Students
    Yeah!
[05:44] Sekine
    Good morning.
[05:46] Tsubasa
    Morning, Sekine.
[05:48] Tsubasa
    Oh, right. Yesterday, I found an idol
    who looks just like Chiyo-san.
[05:53] Tsubasa
    Check this out.
[05:54] Sekine
    Wow. She does look similar.
[05:57] Tsubasa
    I know, right?
[05:57] Sekine
    But where did you find that photo?
[06:00] Tsubasa
    I-It's from a magazine.
[06:02] Tsubasa
    My brother Tsuyoshi bought it.
[06:05] Sekine
    Ah, I see.
[06:07] Rikka
    Hey,
[06:08] Rikka
    for what purpose do photos
    like these exist?
[06:12] Tsubasa
    What purpose... For men to look at, I guess?
[06:17] Rikka
    Why do men look at photos like that?
[06:20] Tsubasa
    Um... To get excited?
[06:23] Rikka
    Why do they want to get excited?
[06:25] Tsubasa
    That's, uh... To make offspring?
[06:29] Rikka
    Looking at photos generates offspring?
    Is that how the system works?
[06:33] Tsubasa
    No, just looking isn't enough.
[06:36] Rikka
    So what motivates them to look?
[06:38] Rikka
    Is it really necessary for them to spend
    their precious time in such a way?
[06:42] Rikka
    They only live once.
    Doesn't it make them sad?
[06:47] Narrator
    Her purity fuels her scathing remarks.
SIGN    Sca
SIGN    thing
[06:50] Chiyo
    Good day, everyone.
[06:52] Tsubasa
    Chiyo-san! Nice timing!
[06:55] Tsubasa
    Good morning, Chiyo-san.
[06:57] Tsubasa
    Look, I found an idol
    who looks just like you!
[07:02] Chiyo
    Is she really that similar?
[07:04] Tsubasa
    Totally. Her face looks just like yours.
[07:06] Chiyo
    Do you think so?
[07:08] Tsubasa
    See, like in this one. And this one, too.
[07:14] Tsubasa
    Wow, this swimsuit's like a bandage.
[07:17] Chiyo
    Y-Yes, you're right...
    She does... look like me...
[07:24] Tsubasa
    Wh-Why cry?!
[07:27] Sekine
    Oh, no. You can't show those
    kinds of things to Chiyo-san.
[07:31] Tsubasa
    B-But, this model's really pretty, and...
[07:37] Sekine
    That's not the issue.
[07:39] Sekine
    The problem is that you
    showed something provocative
[07:42] Sekine
    to someone with no resistance
    to that type of thing.
[07:45] Tsubasa
    She's suddenly acting like the
    straight-laced class-rep type!
[07:48] Tsubasa
    B-But, this isn't that provocative...
[07:52] Sekine
    Even "mild spice" is too spicy
    for some people.
[07:55] Sekine
    To some people, curry for children
    is like super-hellish spicy ramen.
[08:01] Tsubasa
    But this is like salt-broth veggie ramen!
[08:05] Sekine
    What? These bandages?!
[08:08] Chiyo
    No, I'm fine. I, I...
[08:12] Chiyo
    I'll go nude!
SIGN    Bring it!
[08:13] Tsubasa
    Why?!
[08:15] Rikka
    Let's go calm down a little.
[08:18] Tsubasa
    Why...?
[08:19] Tsubasa
    Was... Was it that bad, what I did?
[08:25] Sekine
    She's a good kid at heart,
[08:27] Sekine
    but she does this kind of thing
    every once in a while.
[08:30] Sekine
    Her sensibilities are a bit off,
    or something.
[08:33] Sekine
    I can't hear her thoughts at all,
    so I don't know what she's thinking.
[08:38] Narrator
    Sekine's psychic power is so lame
[08:42] Narrator
    that she hasn't even realized
    that it only works on the same gender.
[08:47] Tsubasa
    Got it. I...
[08:50] Tsubasa
    I'll quit school.
[08:53] Rikka
    Chiyo-san, are you feeling better?
[08:55] Chiyo
    Yes. I'm sorry.
[08:58] Chiyo
    I think I'll quit school now...
[09:02] Narrator
    They're in sync.
[09:04] Sekine
    No, no, no. There's no need for that.
[09:08] Tsubasa
    I can't do this anymore.
    Sekine, thanks for everything.
[09:13] Tsubasa
    Don't worry if I forget who you are
    or start talking funny starting tomorrow.
[09:16] Tsubasa (Sister)
    Wassup.
[09:20] Sekine
    Are you quitting or not?!
[09:23] Rikka
    Um, is quitting really necessary?
[09:27] Chiyo
    I just don't want to cause any more trouble.
[09:32] Chiyo
    I-I simply can't get over my aversion
    toward lewd things, and men in general.
[09:38] Rikka
    It's all right. You can't help it.
[09:40] Rikka
    Don't worry!
[09:42] Rikka
    I'll protect you.
[09:44] Rikka
    I'll make sure nothing you dislike
    will so much as touch you, ever again!
[09:48] Chiyo
    Rikka-chan...
[09:51] Sekine
    Oh, there you are!
[09:53] Rikka
    Sekine-chan, what is it?
[09:56] Sekine
    Well, Tsubasa started saying
    she was gonna quit school.
[09:59] Rikka
    What?
[10:01] Sekine
    Don't worry, both of you.
    Let's apologize and get over it.
[10:05] Tsubasa
    Chiyo-san, I'm sorry.
[10:07] Chiyo
    No, it's me who should apologize!
    There's no need for you to quit school.
[10:12] Chiyo
    I hope we can continue to be friends.
[10:15] Tsubasa
    Thank you.
[10:16] Tsubasa
    Hmm?
[10:20] Tsubasa
    S-Sorry. I gotta go to the restroom.
[10:23] Sekine
    I'm glad you were able to calm down.
[10:27] Chiyo
    Yes, Rikka-chan stayed by my side,
    consoling me the whole time.
[10:32] Sekine
    Good job, Colonel!
SIGN    Proud of Herself
[10:34] Rikka
    I intend to keep my promise!
[10:36] Rikka
    I placed a device on Chiyo-san
[10:38] Rikka
    that transforms any man who comes
    in contact with her skin into a woman!
[10:42] Sekine
    Y-You can do that?!
[10:44] Mr. Brian
    Good morning, everybody!
[10:47] Rikka
    Good morning!
[10:50] Chiyo
    Oh, Mr. Brian, there's some
    lint on your clothes...
[10:54] Sekine
    No!
[10:55] Sekine
    Don't touch, Brian!
[10:57] Mr. Brian
    What?!
[11:03] Tsubasa
    It's gone.
[11:05] Tsubasa
    The one thing that should
    always be there... is gone.
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    Tsuyoshi
SIGN    1
SIGN    —
SIGN    2
SIGN    (His thing)
[11:09] Tsubasa (Sister) & Tsuyoshi
    Tsuyoshi 1/2.
[11:13] Students
    Let's stop by that one place.
[11:14] Students
    Sure, let's do that.
[11:17] Tsubasa
    I lost something precious.
[11:20] Chiyo
    What's wrong with Tsubasa-san?
[11:23] Rikka
    She's been like that since this morning.
[11:25] Sekine
    Hmm?
[11:27] Narrator
    Now that Tsubasa is female,
    something unexpected has happened.
[11:31] Sekine
    What does she mean by
    "something precious"?
[11:33] Narrator
    Sekine can now read Tsubasa's thoughts!
[11:38] Sekine
    I could help her find it
    If she would tell me what it is...
[11:42] Sekine
    But I don't want to pry.
[11:44] Rikka
    Tsubasa-chan!
[11:46] Rikka
    Did you finish your social studies homework?
[11:48] Rikka
    The one about finding out how your
    parents came up with your name?
[11:53] Tsubasa
    Name... My grandpa gave me my name.
[11:56] Tsubasa
    He wanted me to grow up firm and solid!
[12:00] Tsubasa
    I'm sorry, Grandpa!
[12:02] Sekine
    Wh-What's so tear-jerking about that?
[12:06] Sekine
    And why the Colonel, too?!
[12:07] Rikka
    What a wonderful grandfather!
[12:09] Rikka
    I didn't know "Tsubasa" had such a meaning!
[12:12] Tsubasa
    Oh, sorry. That was about my
    brother's name, "Tsuyoshi."
[12:17] Tsubasa
    "Tsubasa" was so that I would
    grow up free and easy.
[12:19] Tsubasa (Sister)
    Hey, Tsuyoshi, don't I look good
    in a boy's uniform?
[12:23] Tsubasa (Sister)
    What if I get a cute girlfriend?
[12:26] Tsubasa
    And it worked, damn it! It worked too well!
[12:30] Rikka
    That's good to hear.
[12:32] Sekine
    Tsubasa's acting a bit weird.
[12:35] Sekine
    She's depressed because she
    lost something important.
[12:38] Sekine
    She cries when talking
    about her grandfather...
[12:41] Sekine
    I know!
[12:43] Sekine
    She must have lost some kind of
    keepsake of her grandfather!
[12:46] Sekine
    That must be rough. Yikes!
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Not even close
SIGN    Um...
SIGN    I'm alive...
SIGN    I'm the grandfather...
SIGN    Name's Genzo...
[12:49] Narrator
    By the way, the grandfather
    in question is very much alive.
[12:52] Chiyo
    Tsubasa-san, if it's all right with you,
[12:55] Chiyo
    would you like to go somewhere
    on our next day off?
[12:58] Sekine
    I know, let's all go to the pool!
[13:01] Rikka
    The pool? Nice!
[13:03] Sekine
    Raku Raku Land is doing a
    women-only night pool event.
[13:08] Tsubasa
    Women-only? I'm not sure...
[13:11] Sekine
    Hmm? What, you'd rather go
    somewhere you can meet boys?
[13:15] Tsubasa
    No, that's not it.
    There's a slight problem...
[13:20] Tsubasa
    Oh, there is no problem.
[13:21] Narrator
    His problem went missing.
SIGN    Raku Raku Land
[13:27] Tsubasa
    Oh, paper strips.
[13:29] Sekine
    Right, today is Tanabata.
[13:32] Chiyo
    Let's all write down our wishes
    and hang them up.
[13:35] Sekine
    What's your wish, Chiyo-san?
[13:40] Chiyo
    Oh, that's a secret.
[13:43] Tsubasa
    I really hope this wish comes true!
[13:47] Chiyo
    Where's Tsubasa-san?
[13:49] Sekine
    She went off to change
    in the back somewhere.
[13:52] Sekine
    I don't know why she would be
    so shy all of a sudden.
[13:55] Rikka
    Yeah, changing is so quick.
[13:59] Narrator
    Colonel Rikka's instant
    transformation is a success.
[14:04] Chiyo
    Oh, that's very cute, Rikka-chan!
[14:09] Rikka
    Chiyo-san, you're wearing a lot of layers.
[14:14] Chiyo
    I don't want to be immodest.
[14:16] Rikka
    Is that her maidenly mindset?
[14:18] Chiyo
    I need to wear at least this much clothing.
[14:21] Chiyo
    Otherwise, I can't conceal my sword scars,
[14:24] Chiyo
    and I need my gear in case
    an assassin appears.
[14:27] Narrator
    The ninja mindset.
[14:32] Chiyo
    Wow, how fun!
[14:35] Tsubasa
    Is this all right?
    Am I not sticking out weirdly?
[14:39] Rikka
    Let's go!
SIGN    Nekise
[14:42] Sekine
    Hey, don't forget to stretch first!
SIGN    Waterproofed
[14:47] Rikka
    Go, go! Charge!
[14:53] Chiyo
    Would you like to share this with me?
[14:56] Sekine
    Are you sure?
[14:57] Chiyo
    Yes!
[15:06] Tsubasa
    So many pretty ladies. This is actually fun.
[15:11] Woman
    Hey, you there. Sorry to bother you.
[15:14] Woman
    My necklace got caught up in the hook.
    Can you help me get it off?
[15:18] Tsubasa
    Y-Yes!
[15:22] Woman
    Thanks for the help!
[15:29] Chiyo
    I hope this makes Tsubasa-san feel better.
[15:33] Tsubasa
    Girls!
[15:36] Tsubasa
    The night pool is, like, so much fun!
[15:39] Tsubasa
    I'm totes excited!
[15:42] Sekine
    Was she always like this...?
[15:46] Tsubasa
    Ohmigosh, what're you talking about?
[15:47] Tsubasa
    Of course I've always been like this!
[15:52] Sekine
    I guess if she's cheered up,
    that's all good...?
[15:56] Tsubasa
    Oh, I just remembered!
    We gotta, like, hang those paper strips!
[15:59] Chiyo
    Yes, let's do that!
[16:04] Tsubasa
    "I wish I could go back to how I was"?
[16:07] Tsubasa
    What a dummy I was to think that!
[16:12] Chiyo
    I wish my sword scars
    could become less visible.
[16:16] Sekine
    I want to lose three kilograms.
    Or just two kilograms, if that's too much.
[16:20] Rikka
    They're all praying so intensely.
[16:22] Rikka
    To make their wishes come true... How...
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Materialist
[16:26] Rikka
    How foolish these Earthlings are.
[16:29] Rikka
    Goals are attained through
    relentless effort, are they not?
[16:34] Rikka
    I've tried my best to accustom
    myself to Earth culture,
[16:37] Rikka
    but this is not acceptable.
[16:40] Tsubasa
    Rikka, aren't you hanging up
    your paper strip?
[16:43] Rikka
    Oh? Um, hmm...
SIGN    Establish a unified
     government of the universe
     under the revolution
[16:46] Rikka
    I don't think wishing for it would
    make it come true, so I'll pass.
[16:50] Tsubasa
    Oh, in that case, I'll, like,
    write your wish on my paper, too.
[16:55] Rikka
    Huh?
[16:56] Tsubasa
    I don't want my original wish anymore.
[16:59] Tsubasa
    'Sides, if we both write the same wish,
[17:01] Tsubasa
    maybe it'll increase the
    chance of it coming true.
[17:03] Rikka
    Thanks, Tsubasa-chan.
    I appreciate the thought.
[17:10] Chiyo
    Oh look, shooting stars!
[17:15] Sekine
    Gotta make a wish!
[17:18] Rikka
    My wish probably won't come true, but...
SIGN    I wish I could go back
     to how I was. -Tsubasa
SIGN    I want to lose 3 kilos
     2 kilos. -Sekine
SIGN    I wish my legs
     were pretty. -Chiyo
[17:22] Rikka
    I just hope my friends' wishes do.
[17:27] Tsubasa
    Oh? What's this?
SIGN    Just a small gift...
SIGN    Juice
[17:34] Chiyo
    Tsubasa-san, what's wrong?
[17:37] Tsubasa
    I feel very cold, all of a sudden.
[17:40] Chiyo
    Oh, no!
[17:44] Chiyo
    I have no choice.
[17:46] Chiyo
    Please use this!
[17:48] Tsubasa
    Th-Thanks.
[17:51] Rikka
    Wow, Chiyo-san, your legs are so pretty!
[17:55] Chiyo
    What?!
[17:56] Chiyo
    M-My sword scars are gone!
[17:59] Sekine
    Did the Colonel make our wishes come true?
[18:03] Sekine
    I do feel like I lost a bit of weight.
[18:06] Sekine
    I should have wished for something bigger...
[18:09] Narrator
    By the way, about the device that the
    Colonel put on the back of Chiyo's neck...
[18:13] Sekine
    I secretly removed it.
    The Colonel doesn't know!
[18:18] Maskuma
    Kuma.
[18:23] Maskuma
    Kuma.
[18:25] Maskuma
    Kuma!
[18:28] Staff
    To celebrate the release of Maskuma's movie,
[18:31] Staff
    we're giving out
    limited-edition phone charms
[18:33] Staff
    to anyone who can show us
    an item with polka dots!
SIGN    Chiyo-san
SIGN    Please
SIGN    Take us home
     with you
[18:36] Chiyo
    A limited-edition phone
    charm?! I really want it!
[18:40] Tsubasa
    That's too bad. I don't have
    anything with polka dots.
[18:44] Sekine
    Me, neither.
[18:45] Rikka
    Same here.
[18:50] Chiyo
    I... I know!
[18:51] Staff
    Anyone? They're cute!
[18:54] Chiyo
    Would this...
[18:57] Sekine & Tsubasa & Rikka
    Chiyo-san?!
[18:58] Tsubasa
    No! Don't do that!
[19:01] Chiyo
    But it's the only way!
[19:04] Tsubasa
    I'll go and buy something
    with polka dots right now!
SIGN    Maskuma Mask
    the MOVIE
[19:07] Staff
    This event will be ending soon!
[19:10] Tsubasa
    What? What should we do?!
[19:12] Rikka
    Worry not!
[19:14] Chiyo
    Rikka-chan?
[19:17] Rikka
    I'd like a phone charm, please!
[19:19] Staff
    Sure, just show me something with polka dots!
[19:28] Rikka
    I got us a charm!
SIGN    Thank you...
    Thank you...
SIGN    She gave it to her
SIGN    Don't mention it.
[19:32] Chiyo
    Thank you, Rikka-chan!
[19:34] Rikka
    I'm happy for you.
[19:36] Sekine
    Oh, the inside of her mouth...
[19:38] Narrator
    Every mucous membrane
    in her body is now polka-dotted.
[19:50] Chiyo
    Oh, no! The charm!
[19:52] Tsubasa
    What, you dropped it?
[19:53] Rikka
    You couldn't help it, Chiyo-san.
[19:58] Chiyo
    Everyone, I'm going to go powder my nose.
[20:04] Hanzo
    What? How?!
[20:06] Chiyo
    I just lost the last shred of patience
    I had with you, Hanzo!
[20:13] Sekine
    What can we do to get
    that charm for Chiyo-san?
[20:17] Tsubasa
    Wow, it's going for such a high price
    in the online auctions.
[20:20] Tsubasa
    We can't get it there, either.
[20:22] Rikka
    Oh, look! I found one here.
[20:29] Narrator
    An obvious fake.
SIGN    Wears Boxers
[20:32] Tsubasa
    I do have polka dots
    on my underwear today...
[20:36] Tsubasa
    But if they find out I'm a guy,
    that might cause trouble...
[20:40] Tsubasa
    But...
[20:44] Chiyo
    I feel empty.
[20:47] Sekine
    Oh, Chiyo-san.
[20:49] Chiyo
    Did you wait for me?
[20:52] Rikka
    Of course!
[20:54] Tsubasa
    Look. We got you the phone charm.
[20:58] Chiyo
    Wow!
[21:00] Tsubasa
    I forgot about the polka-dot
    handkerchief that I had.
[21:04] Tsubasa
    I just had to show them that, and I got it.
[21:07] Sekine
    All's well that ends well, huh, Chiyo-san?
[21:10] Chiyo
    Yes!
[21:12] Rikka
    Let's go home now.
[21:14] Sekine
    Yes, let's.
[21:22] Tsubasa
    Achoo!
SIGN    Translation: I'm getting a faint reading
     of a spacecraft. It seems friendly.
SIGN    Translation: I'm getting a faint reading
     of a spacecraft. It seems friendly.
SIGN    Translation: Understood.
     Commencing search pattern.
SIGN    Translation: Understood.
     Commencing search pattern.
SIGN    Next Episode Preview
SIGN    Day Duty:
     Sekine
[23:09] Sekine
    It's summer. I need to go on a diet.
[23:11] Chiyo
    Shaved ice, watermelons, cold noodles...
    So many delicious things.
SIGN    Maybe I shouldn't
     wear a swimsuit...
[23:16] Sekine
    You're right. I should enjoy
    them all before I start.
[23:18] Rikka
    That's a great idea!
SIGN    #05: Beach
[23:20] Tsubasa
    And thus, Sekine never begins her diet.

E5 - Beach

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Narrator
    Chiyo rises early.
[00:06] Narrator
    She sleeps on her side,
    left side down, to protect her heart.
[00:13] Narrator
    A habit she developed in her ninja clan.
[00:25] Chiyo
    Another peaceful morning.
[00:30] Narrator
    Chiyo begins her morning routine
    by brushing her teeth
[00:33] Narrator
    and sharpening her shuriken.
[00:46] Chiyo
    My usual hairstyle is complete!
[00:49] Chiyo
    All good!
[00:52] Chiyo
    I'll be on my way.
[00:55] Narrator
    The usual, peaceful days continue.
[00:59] Narrator
    Or so Chiyo believed, earnestly.
SIGN    Final Exams
SIGN    Class 2-B
    Air Band
SIGN    The
SIGN    Lit
SIGN    tle
SIGN    Lies
SIGN    We
SIGN    All
SIGN    Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    Rikka
SIGN    Colonel
SIGN    Chiyo-san
SIGN    Chiyo-san
SIGN    Ninja
SIGN    Sekine
SIGN    Psychic
SIGN    Tsubasa
SIGN    Tsuyoshi
SIGN    Boy
SIGN    Note:
     Is Sekine
SIGN    Maskuma Mask
SIGN    Class 2-B
    Air Band
SIGN    Poeh
SIGN    Final Exams
SIGN    #05: Beach
SIGN    #05: Beach
SIGN    #05: Beach
SIGN    #05: Beach
SIGN    #05: Beach
SIGN    #05: Beach
SIGN    #05: Beach
SIGN    #05: Beach
SIGN    #05: Beach
SIGN    #05: Beach
SIGN    #05: Beach
SIGN    #05: Beach
[02:48] Chiyo
    I'll do my best.
[02:52] Sekine
    The Colonel seems to be on a roll.
[03:02] Sekine
    If you're going to cheat,
    at least make it less obvious...
[03:05] Sekine
    Never mind that. I have to concentrate.
[03:11] Sekine
    Of course I don't use my powers for tests!
[03:14] Narrator
    Who is she making excuses to?
SIGN    A Few Days Later
[03:19] Sekine
    How did you go on the test?
[03:21] Tsubasa
    It was pretty easy.
[03:23] Rikka
    Okay, I guess.
SIGN    Class Rep
[03:26] Sekine
    I got a 100 in English.
SIGN    Model Student
[03:27] Tsubasa
    I got a 98.
SIGN    Elite Military Officer
[03:29] Rikka
    I got a 51.
SIGN    Points
[03:32] Sekine
    How did you cheat so much
    and yet score so low?
[03:36] Chiyo
    As for me...
[03:41] Student 1
    Hey, guys. Our draft of the
    class poem is done. Take a look.
[03:44] Sekine
    Oh, sure.
[03:46] Student 1
    Let me know what you think later.
[03:48] Sekine
    Sure.
[03:52] Tsubasa
    "Class Celebrity," huh.
SIGN    Class Poem: "Class Celebrity" (WIP)
SIGN    "Chiyo-san"
    Chiyo-san is pretty,
    so pretty.
    She's very pretty,
    like super pretty,
    like an unstoppable
    force of prettiness,
    and a total celeb
[03:54] Tsubasa
    Everyone picked Chiyo-san.
[03:56] Sekine
    Well, she is pretty. It's only natural.
[04:00] Rikka
    I'm so proud!
[04:04] Chiyo
    I'm going to make a quick visit
    to the school store.
[04:08] Chiyo
    Unbelievable... I...
[04:11] Chiyo
    I'm considered pretty!
[04:14] Narrator
    She couldn't be happier.
SIGN    Three days like this
[04:18] Chiyo
    Was it because, during my harsh training...
[04:21] Chiyo
    I applied nightingale feces to my face?
[04:26] Chiyo
    Or is it thanks to the mud baths?
SIGN    Totally holding her breath
[04:31] Chiyo
    Or perhaps it's the rich protein in my diet?
[04:34] Narrator
    All organic & natural.
[04:40] Chiyo
    I feel so self-conscious!
[04:42] Tsubasa
    Chiyo-san...
[04:44] Tsubasa
    needs to tone it down a notch.
[04:47] Sekine
    I thought the same thing.
[04:50] Tsubasa
    She needs to know when
    a compliment is just flattery.
[04:52] Sekine
    We won't be able to keep having
    lunch with her if this goes on.
[04:55] Tsubasa
    In fact,
[04:57] Tsubasa
    she won't be accepted anywhere at all.
[04:59] Rikka
    That's too harsh.
SIGN    The Next Day
[05:08] Chiyo
    Good morning.
[05:10] Rikka
    Good...?!
[05:12] Rikka
    Chiyo-san, is that a new hairstyle?
[05:16] Chiyo
    I wanted to change it up a little.
[05:18] Rikka
    The old style looked so
    good on you, though.
[05:20] Sekine
    Ah.
[05:22] Sekine
    That might be better, actually.
[05:25] Tsubasa
    In fact, why don't you go shorter?
[05:40] Chiyo
    I'm finally free from my clan!
[05:44] Chiyo
    I'll gradually grow my hair out,
    dress pretty, and...
[05:51] Sekine
    We won't be able to keep having
    lunch with her if this goes on.
[05:56] Tsubasa
    In fact, she won't be
    accepted anywhere at all.
[06:04] Rikka
    Just wait a minute!
[06:08] Rikka
    Why are you cutting your hair?!
[06:09] Chiyo
    Rikka-chan...
[06:12] Chiyo
    I thought I needed
    to take it down a notch...
[06:17] Chiyo
    Wait, Rikka-chan?!
[06:19] Rikka
    You two are the worst!
[06:23] Rikka
    Just because...
[06:24] Rikka
    Because Chiyo-san...
[06:31] Rikka
    Just because Chiyo-san
    scored horribly in her tests!
[06:37] Rikka
    You have no honor!
[06:41] Sekine
    You're right.
[06:42] Tsubasa
    I'm sorry.
[06:43] Chiyo
    What's going on...?
[06:45] Narrator
    This is what's going on.
[06:48] (Flashback) Chiyo
    I'm going to make a quick visit
    to the school store.
[06:55] (Flashback) Rikka
    What's wrong?
[06:56] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    The class poem can wait.
[06:59] (Flashback) Sekine
    It's Chiyo-san's test scores.
[07:07] Chiyo
    Thump, thump!
[07:23] (Flashback) Brian
    Genius!
[07:28] (Flashback) Chiyo
    I finally got a score!
[07:31] (Flashback) Rikka
    It's a first!
[07:33] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    She needs to know when
    a compliment is just flattery.
[07:35] (Flashback) Sekine
    We won't be able to keep having
    lunch with her if this goes on.
[07:39] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    In fact,
[07:40] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    she won't be accepted anywhere at all.
[07:43] (Flashback) Rikka
    That's taking it too far.
SIGN    High School
SIGN    Middle School
SIGN    Around 10% drop out
[07:46] Sekine
    It's actually not easy going from our
    middle school directly to our high school.
[07:50] Tsubasa
    At this rate, she's never going
    to high school with us.
[07:57] Chiyo
    You were talking about the test...
[08:00] Chiyo
    But you did also say I should cut my hair.
[08:04] Tsubasa
    Th-That was...
[08:07] Sekine
    I mean, should you be
    spending your time on that?!
[08:11] Chiyo
    First I wash my hair,
    then I apply conditioner,
[08:14] Chiyo
    and then I use a straightening iron,
[08:16] Chiyo
    followed by a curling iron
    to apply a gentle wave.
[08:19] Chiyo
    And finished!
[08:22] Sekine
    I remember Chiyo-san telling me
    the whole process takes about an hour.
[08:27] Sekine
    Use that time to learn
    an English word or two!
SIGN    Simply prefers
    shorter hair
[08:33] Tsubasa
    I'm really sorry we talked
    about you behind your back.
[08:37] Sekine
    But we really want to go to
    the same high school as you!
[08:41] Rikka
    Yep!
[08:46] Chiyo
    I'm so glad!
[08:48] Sekine
    There's nothing to be glad about!
[08:50] Tsubasa
    Is she really okay?!
[08:51] Sekine
    We won't sugar coat it anymore.
    You're going to be screwed!
[08:54] Tsubasa
    You're really in deep trouble!
[08:56] Chiyo
    Please don't worry.
[08:59] Chiyo
    Mr. Brian said I can enter Tokyo University!
[09:04] (Flashback) Mr. Brian
    You worked very hard, Miss Chiyo.
    You are a future Tokyo U student!
[09:09] Sekine & Tsubasa
    Again, understand when something is flattery!
SIGN    That's an "A"!
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
[09:13] Chiyo
    The Little Lies We All Tell!
[09:16] Tsubasa
    How's it going? Are you learning?
[09:18] Chiyo
    I'm doing my best.
SIGN    Mathematics 2
[09:20] Chiyo
    For starters, I memorized a textbook!
[09:24] Tsubasa
    A study habit popular among idiots!
[09:26] Tsubasa
    Don't memorize! Understand!
[09:28] Sekine
    Calm down, Tsubasa!
[09:30] Sekine
    That might be good enough
    to get through the upcoming exams.
[09:33] Chiyo
    Now, hear my words of wisdom.
[09:36] Chiyo
    When editing this textbook,
    I paid the most attention to one thing...
[09:42] Chiyo
    Making sure that you, new eighth graders,
    could learn math with excitement.
[09:45] Sekine & Tsubasa
    The foreword section...
[09:46] Rikka
    Good job! Good job!
[09:49] Rikka
    Good job! Good job!
[09:49] Chiyo
    I wrote the problems
    with utmost care to make sure...
[09:53] Narrator
    Chiyo is waiting for her next compliment.
SIGN    Ethics P.E. Home Ec Art Music English Soc.Stud Science Math Japanese
    

SIGN    Ethics P.E. Home Ec Art Music English Soc.Stud Science Math Japanese
    

SIGN    Ethics P.E. Home Ec Art Music English Soc.Stud Science Math Japanese
    

SIGN    Ethics P.E. Home Ec Art Music English Soc.Stud Science Math Japanese
    

SIGN    I did okay
SIGN    Nice
SIGN    I tried
    my best
SIGN    Yes!
SIGN    Revolutionary
    Education
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
[10:06] Sekine
    Summer break's coming up.
[10:08] Rikka
    I'm so happy.
[10:09] Chiyo
    Shall we go out somewhere?
[10:12] Rikka
    Let's do that!
[10:14] Tsubasa
    Where to?
[10:15] Rikka
    How about the beach?
[10:18] Chiyo
    The beach! How wonderful.
[10:20] Sekine
    Should we bring swimsuits?
[10:22] Rikka
    Let's do that!
[10:23] Tsubasa
    Swimsuits?
[10:25] Tsubasa
    Yikes. I'd need to cover some stuff up.
[10:27] Tsubasa
    Honestly, I don't want to bother.
[10:30] Tsubasa
    Hey, I think the mountains or
    a river might be a better idea...
[10:34] Chiyo
    Splashing water on each other
    at the beach would be so fun!
[10:38] Sekine
    Let's eat something delicious
    at a beachside restaurant.
[10:40] Rikka
    We can dig for clams, and fish!
[10:43] Tsubasa
    I guess the beach idea is a done deal.
[10:46] Tsubasa
    I'm sure it'll be all right.
[10:51] Rikka
    Summer!
[10:52] Chiyo
    Beach!
[10:53] Sekine
    Groveling for forgiveness!
[10:56] Narrator
    Let us go back a few minutes in time.
[11:07] Sekine
    How about here?
[11:09] Chiyo
    Sure.
[11:10] Tsubasa
    I'll get us some drinks.
[11:17] Sekine
    Hey, hey...
[11:19] Rikka
    Let's swim!
[11:21] Chiyo
    Sure!
[11:23] Sekine
    She's so quick to change!
[11:24] Chiyo
    Come on, Sekine-san.
[11:27] Sekine
    Um, yes...
SIGN    Not going to risk
    wearing a swimsuit
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
[11:28] Tsubasa
    The Little Lies We All Tell.
[11:32] Sekine
    Um, I tried on the swimsuit
    that you made for me...
[11:37] Chiyo
    It looks wonderful on you!
[11:39] Rikka
    Let's swim already!
[11:41] Sekine
    Hey, Rikka, wait up!
[11:45] Sekine
    You have to put on sunscreen first.
[11:49] Rikka
    I'll help you put on sunscreen, too.
[11:52] Sekine
    Please.
SIGN    What a primitive item.
[11:54] Rikka
    I suppose it would be helpful
    to let her get space-ready, too.
[11:58] Sekine
    What? Colonel, what are you doing?
[12:24] Man 1
    Hey there.
[12:27] Man 1
    Pretty girl.
[12:28] Man 2
    Wanna hang out?
[12:32] Man 2
    Come on, let's have a chat.
SIGN    Tsuu Hai
SIGN    Ken
[12:52] Narrator
    And that led to this.
[12:55] Man 1
    That was clearly assault!
[12:57] Man 2
    If saying "sorry" solved everything,
    we wouldn't need the police!
[13:01] Sekine
    They have a point!
[13:04] Sekine
    C-Could you please not call the authorities?
[13:08] Sekine
    Perhaps a settlement can be reached.
[13:10] Rikka
    What's a settlement?
[13:12] Sekine
    We're going to pay them off.
    It's better than involving the police!
[13:16] Sekine
    It's my precious money, but for Chiyo-san...
[13:21] Sekine
    Here's all the money I have.
[13:23] Man 1
    230 yen...
[13:26] Man 2
    That's, like, a bus ride.
[13:28] Chiyo
    Sekine-san, please put that away. It's fine.
[13:35] Chiyo
    I'll just slit my own throat,
    right here and now!
[13:39] Narrator
    Self-capital punishment.
[13:40] Man 1
    Don't do that!
[13:42] Man 2
    Please calm down!
[13:43] Chiyo
    But...
[13:44] Tsubasa
    Hold it right there!
[13:47] Tsubasa
    What do you want with my friends?
[13:49] Man 1
    Who are you?
[13:51] Man 2
    We're the victims here!
[13:53] Tsubasa
    Victims?
[13:55] Chiyo
    Oh, um, I accidentally
    gave them a little tap...
[13:58] Man 1
    It wasn't a "tap"! It was a "kaboom"!
[14:02] Man 2
    We have proof.
[14:04] Man 2
    This is where the "kaboom" took place.
[14:07] Narrator
    Kaboom.
[14:11] Tsubasa
    What kind of gorilla muscle would it take
    to do that? That's totally unrealistic.
[14:15] Chiyo
    G-Gorilla muscle...
[14:17] Tsubasa
    I don't mind taking this up
    with the authorities.
[14:21] Sekine
    That's a no-go.
[14:22] Sekine
    Tsubasa! We're going to get
    out of this with fake tears!
[14:26] Tsubasa
    Huh?
SIGN    Boo
SIGN    Hoo
[14:29] Sekine
    I'm so sorry. I was so scared.
SIGN    Running with it
[14:35] Rikka
    You two are scary!
[14:43] Narrator
    Hers are the real deal.
[14:44] Man 1
    D-Don't cry.
SIGN    Did we do something wrong?
SIGN    All beat up
[14:46] Man 2
    You're making us look like the bad guys.
[14:50] Tsubasa
    What? Me, too?!
SIGN    Shame
[14:56] Tsubasa
    We're so sowwy.
[15:00] Narrator
    Tsubasa is swallowing so many
    different flavors of pride here.
[15:06] Chiyo
    I'm sorry I made you do this for me!
[15:11] Sekine
    I'm just glad everything turned out okay.
[15:14] Rikka
    So that really was all the money she had.
[15:18] Rikka
    Right!
SIGN    Shaved Ice
[15:20] Rikka
    Let's get something nice to eat
    and forget what happened!
[15:24] Sekine
    Oh...
[15:26] Tsubasa
    Rikka, when did you...
[15:38] Sekine
    That was delicious.
[15:41] Tsubasa
    Hmm? How did you pay for this, anyway?
[15:44] Rikka
    Don't worry about the money!
[15:47] Rikka
    There's plenty more where that came from!
[15:50] Tsubasa
    Where did you get that money?!
[15:52] Rikka
    I found it!
[15:53] Sekine
    You just found all that cash?
[15:56] Tsubasa
    Was there some crime involved...?
[16:01] Rikka
    Was my excuse unnatural?
[16:03] Sekine
    Colonel, is that counterf—
[16:06] Rikka
    This is a, um, you know...
[16:13] Rikka
    A result of hyperinflation!
    Money is worthless now!
[16:17] Narrator
    Swimming in cash.
[16:20] Sekine
    Tsubasa! I think what
    Rikka means is that, um,
[16:25] Sekine
    not that she literally found it, but, like,
[16:28] Sekine
    she was given a huge allowance unexpectedly!
[16:32] Tsubasa
    I see.
[16:34] Rikka
    You do see.
[16:37] Sekine
    Hmm... We shouldn't spend
    any more of these counter—
[16:39] Sekine
    of these bills.
[16:41] Sekine
    I'd better get rid of them later.
[16:43] Narrator
    She upholds the law.
SIGN    Yen Yen
[16:46] Sekine
    I wonder how many more fried
    noodles I can get with this?!
[16:48] Narrator
    She used to uphold the law.
[16:51] Chiyo
    I caused an incident and made
    Rikka spend her allowance.
[16:56] Chiyo
    I feel terrible.
[16:58] Chiyo
    I'm going to go freshen up.
[17:04] Rikka
    Chiyo-san?
[17:06] Tsubasa
    I'll go check on her.
[17:13] Young Woman
    Hey there.
[17:15] Young Woman
    I saw you chase away those playboys earlier.
[17:19] Tsubasa
    Oh, um...
[17:21] Young Woman
    It was annoying when they hit on me, too,
    so I was glad to see it!
[17:26] Young Woman
    The girl with long black hair
    was awesome, too!
[17:28] Young Woman
    I didn't expect that from
    such a well-to-do lady!
[17:32] Young Woman
    And you're...
[17:34] Young Woman
    so handsome!
[17:37] Tsubasa
    Handsome...
[17:41] Tsubasa
    Do I look handsome...?
[17:44] Young Woman
    Y-Yes...
[17:45] Narrator
    Tears of happiness spring to his eyes.
[17:47] Young Woman
    Are you all right...?
[17:55] Tsubasa
    Chiyo-san.
[18:07] Tsubasa
    Thank you so very much!
SIGN    So handsome!
[18:10] Tsubasa
    I had the best experience, thanks to you.
[18:16] Tsubasa
    I'd love to come to the beach
    with you all again.
[18:21] Tsubasa
    Right?
[18:27] Chiyo
    Of course!
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
[18:34] Tsubasa
    So...
[18:36] Tsubasa
    What should we do?
[18:38] Rikka
    Let's build something out of sand.
[18:40] Sekine
    What should we build?
[18:44] Rikka
    Finished!
[18:45] Tsubasa
    That was fast!
[18:48] Sekine
    The waves!
[18:49] Chiyo
    Oh, no!
[18:51] Rikka
    To all comrades!
    Defend the flagship immediately!
[18:55] Sekine & Tsubasa & Chiyo
    Roger!
[19:04] Rikka
    Defense successful! Well done, comrades!
[19:38] Chiyo
    Do you have everything you brought?
[19:41] Young Woman
    Oh, hey! Wait up!
[19:45] Young Woman
    Oh, good. I was looking for you!
[19:48] Tsubasa
    Looking for me?
[19:49] Young Woman
    There was something on my mind.
[19:52] Tsubasa
    On your mind?
[19:54] Young Woman
    I'm sorry I called you "handsome" earlier.
[19:58] Young Woman
    You have this, sort of, androgynous beauty.
[20:02] Young Woman
    You're really a pretty girl!
[20:06] Young Woman
    What with your fair skin,
    and that slender build.
[20:09] Narrator
    She just came back to kill him off.
[20:14] Rikka
    The beach sure was fun.
[20:16] Sekine
    The food stalls were tasty, too.
[20:18] Chiyo
    What happened to Tsubasa-san?
[20:20] Sekine
    She got gloomy all of a sudden.
[20:23] Rikka
    I get it! When you've had this much fun,
    it's a real downer having to go home.
[20:27] Chiyo
    Let's all come again sometime.
[20:30] Tsubasa
    Yeah...
SIGN    Cling on to Life
[20:44] Newscaster
    The crowd is thrilled by
    Uhotan's cute demeanor!
[20:51] Newscaster
    But suddenly, disaster strikes!
[20:54] Newscaster
    Uhotan suddenly picks up
    a huge pile of feces!
[20:58] Sekine
    How should I get rid of these...?
[20:59] Newscaster
    He begins tossing it around,
    turning the zoo into a hellscape.
[21:05] Newscaster
    And now for our next story.
SIGN    Beachside Restaurant
[21:07] Newscaster
    We've received several reports
    of counterfeit money being used
[21:10] Newscaster
    at beachside restaurants in Chiba Prefecture.
[21:12] Newscaster
    The counterfeit bills were
    very accurately created,
[21:15] Newscaster
    except for the unidentified male
    on the watermark.
[21:19] Newscaster
    Police say...
[21:20] Sekine
    This is the great leader
    from Rikka's home world!
SIGN    Forging and using counterfeit
SIGN    money is a crime!
SIGN    Kids, don't try this at home!
SIGN    Next Episode Preview
SIGN    Day Duty:
     Sekine
[23:09] Chiyo
    Next week, we're having a sleepover
    at Sekine-san's house!
[23:12] Tsubasa
    By the way, where do you live, Rikka?
[23:14] Rikka
    Up in the sky.
[23:15] Chiyo
    Huh?
[23:16] Sekine
    She means, a high-up floor
    in a high-rise apartment!
[23:18] Rikka
    No, no. It's the Central Area, third section,
    first street, on Planet Papipoporo.
SIGN    #06: The Sleepover
[23:22] Sekine
    Is she even trying to hide it anymore?

E6 - The Sleepover

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Chiyo
    Is this really happening?
[00:04] Chiyo
    I've finally...
[00:06] Chiyo
    been invited to...
[00:08] Chiyo
    Sekine-san's house!
[00:11] Maskuma
    Congratulations-kuma!
[00:12] Maskuma
    Congratulations-kuma!
[00:15] Maskuma
    Kuma...
[00:17] Maskuma
    Kuma, kuma!
[00:21] Narrator
    The sleepover.
[00:23] Narrator
    An event that Chiyo
    has always longed to experience.
SIGN    Class 2-B
    Air Band
SIGN    The
SIGN    Lit
SIGN    tle
SIGN    Lies
SIGN    We
SIGN    All
SIGN    Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    Rikka
SIGN    Colonel
SIGN    Chiyo-san
SIGN    Chiyo-san
SIGN    Ninja
SIGN    Sekine
SIGN    Psychic
SIGN    Tsubasa
SIGN    Tsuyoshi
SIGN    Boy
SIGN    Note:
     Is Sekine
SIGN    Maskuma Mask
SIGN    Class 2-B
    Air Band
SIGN    Poeh
SIGN    #06: The Sleepover
SIGN    #06: The Sleepover
SIGN    #06: The Sleepover
SIGN    #06: The Sleepover
SIGN    #06: The Sleepover
SIGN    #06: The Sleepover
SIGN    #06: The Sleepover
SIGN    #06: The Sleepover
SIGN    #06: The Sleepover
SIGN    #06: The Sleepover
SIGN    #06: The Sleepover
SIGN    #06: The Sleepover
[02:02] Sekine
    To be honest, I didn't want to
    invite anyone to my house.
[02:06] Sekine
    But I suppose there's no other way.
[02:08] Narrator
    Let's go back...
[02:10] Narrator
    to a few hours earlier.
SIGN    A Few Hours Earlier
[02:12] Tsubasa
    Wow, this typhoon's pretty bad.
[02:15] Sekine
    They say it's one of the worst ever.
[02:17] Chiyo
    I won't be able to sleep on a tree tonight.
[02:20] Chiyo
    I also can't eat anything from nature...
[02:24] Tsubasa
    A tree house? And a home garden?
[02:28] Chiyo
    Good day, butler!
[02:30] Butler
    Only the finest organic produce
    for you, Miss Chiyo.
[02:35] Tsubasa
    The wealthy truly live a different life.
[02:37] Narrator
    In truth, it's just sleeping in the wild,
[02:42] Narrator
    and surviving on wild plants.
[02:44] Sekine
    She's going to sleep
    outside in this typhoon?
[02:49] Chiyo
    What strong winds.
[02:51] Chiyo
    Perhaps I'll find a bridge
    to sleep under for tonight.
[02:56] Sekine
    Chiyo-san!
[02:57] Chiyo
    Yes?
[03:01] Sekine
    M-My parents aren't home tonight.
[03:08] Sekine
    I feel uneasy sleeping alone.
[03:12] Chiyo
    A-Are you suggesting...
[03:14] Sekine
    It sure would be great
    if someone could be with me.
[03:22] Chiyo
    I want to go! To Sekine-san's house!
[03:28] Maskuma
    Tootle-ootle-oo, kuma!
[03:33] Rikka
    Aww, can I come, too?
[03:38] Sekine
    Sure...
[03:39] Rikka
    Yay!
[03:42] Chiyo
    I'm glad to have Rikka-chan with us!
[03:46] Rikka
    You should also come, Tsubasa-chan!
[03:49] Tsubasa
    Hmm, going to her house
    might be a bit much...
[03:53] Tsubasa
    But saying no at this point
    would look unnatural...
[03:57] Tsubasa
    Well, Sekine, you don't really
    want me to go, do you?
[04:02] Sekine
    One person, three people,
    what's the difference?
[04:05] Narrator
    Something dies inside Sekine.
[04:07] Rikka
    I can't wait!
[04:10] Sekine
    Should we eat together?
[04:12] Chiyo
    Oh, in that case...
[04:16] Chiyo
    If I may, there's an activity
    I'd like to try...
[04:23] Rikka
    I'm open to anything!
[04:25] Sekine
    As long as it's something
    we can do in my house.
[04:27] Tsubasa
    What is it?
[04:28] Chiyo
    It's...
[04:30] Chiyo
    A takopa!
[04:33] Tsubasa
    Oh, a takopa.
[04:35] Sekine
    Sounds good. Let's takopa it up.
[04:38] Chiyo
    Really?!
[04:41] Rikka
    Takopa?
[04:43] Rikka
    What is a "takopa"?
[04:45] Rikka
    From context, I can imagine it's something
    that involves a gathering of people...
[04:54] Rikka
    I get it! It must be something similar
    to Hot Pot for the Revolution!
[04:56] Narrator
    Based on precisely zero evidence.
[04:58] Sekine
    Oh, the Colonel doesn't
    know what a takopa is.
[05:02] Sekine
    It's short for "takoyaki party."
[05:04] Rikka
    O-Of course I knew that!
[05:07] Sekine
    You can add any ingredients you like.
[05:09] Rikka
    Wow!
[05:10] Sekine
    It's something girls are always
    getting together to do.
[05:15] Sekine
    I hope happy people with
    social lives all explode.
[05:18] Tsubasa
    What's wrong, Sekine?
[05:20] Narrator
    Sekine suddenly has a
    suspicious air about her.
[05:23] Sekine
    Let's buy ingredients on the way back.
    Of course, we're splitting the costs.
[05:33] Sekine
    Come in.
[05:34] Chiyo
    Um, I'd like to formally introduce
    myself to your parents...
[05:37] Sekine
    Oh, they're not here, so don't worry.
[05:40] Tsubasa
    Are your parents out at work?
[05:42] Sekine
    Uhh, yeah.
[05:44] Sekine
    Or rather, I live alone.
[05:48] Sekine
    You know, because of my
    parents' work, and stuff.
[05:51] Sekine
    Actually, my entire family are psychics,
    and they're all locked up in a lab!
[05:56] Sekine
    I don't even know if they're alive!
[05:58] Sekine
    The Organization sends me
    some money every month.
[06:01] Sekine
    I make ends meet with that
    and the scholarship.
SIGN    Sekine
[06:06] Narrator
    Sekine's grades: second place
    in her entire school year.
[06:09] Sekine
    I get by, somehow!
[06:13] Sekine
    Come in.
[06:15] Sekine
    I'm sorry this place is falling apart.
[06:17] Tsubasa
    Don't mind us.
[06:22] Tsubasa
    Sekine, your house...
    has a certain atmosphere to it.
SIGN    Cling on to Life
[06:26] Sekine
    I'm sorry about the disrepair.
[06:33] Tsubasa
    S-Something just scurried past my feet!
[06:35] Sekine
    Oh, don't mind him.
[06:39] Rikka
    Oh, hello there!
[06:42] Sekine
    I try to think of them
    not as pests, but as pets.
[06:46] Narrator
    She is resilient.
[06:49] Sekine
    This place is a mess for so many reasons.
[06:51] Sekine
    But anyway, welcome to my house.
[06:56] Chiyo
    I think it's a wonderful house.
[06:59] Chiyo
    Strong walls to protect the family,
[07:01] Chiyo
    a sturdy roof to keep out the rain,
[07:03] Chiyo
    and also, the cute pets...
[07:06] Sekine
    Well, they're rodents.
[07:08] Sekine
    I guess this beats sleeping out
    in the wild, though.
[07:12] Chiyo
    Sleeping over at a friend's house...
    It's like a dream come true!
[07:17] Narrator
    Her ability to dream is strong.
[07:24] Tsubasa
    There, all done.
[07:26] Chiyo
    A master's technique!
[07:28] Rikka
    Tsubasa-chan, you're so good at this!
[07:30] Sekine
    Truly. I didn't expect this from you.
[07:35] Tsubasa
    Who'd have guessed that my sister bullying me
    into always cooking for her would pay off?
[07:40] Sekine
    All right, let's eat.
[07:42] All
    Thank you for the food!
[07:51] Chiyo
    Something...
[07:53] Chiyo
    Something! Something like... something!
[07:58] Chiyo
    It's salty, and it makes my mouth happy!
[08:03] Narrator
    Not the best food review.
[08:06] Chiyo
    Girls gathering together and
    enjoying takoyaki at a takopa...
[08:12] Chiyo
    This was my dream!
[08:14] Rikka
    I'm glad you like it, Chiyo-san!
[08:18] Rikka
    My mouf if bffnnn ufff!
[08:21] Tsubasa
    Rikka, are you all right?!
[08:23] Rikka
    It's so hot, the inside of my mouth melted!
[08:28] Chiyo
    Say, "ah."
[08:32] Tsubasa
    Delicious!
[08:34] Sekine
    What was inside? Where was it?
[08:36] Tsubasa
    Around there!
[08:42] Sekine
    There was something lukewarm
    and slimy in there!
SIGN    Wasabi
[08:47] Sekine
    Just in case, I'll ask,
    what did everyone put in?
[08:50] Rikka
    I put in gummies! They looked delicious!
[08:54] Sekine
    On their own, yes!
[08:56] Chiyo
    I put in sashimi.
[08:59] Tsubasa
    That was sashimi?!
[09:01] Chiyo
    Fish is good for you.
[09:04] Tsubasa
    Well, if it's sashimi,
    why not just eat it raw?!
[09:08] Rikka
    Sekine-chan, what about you?
[09:09] Sekine
    It's a secret.
[09:11] Tsubasa
    What? You're the one who asked.
[09:14] Chiyo
    Now, now, as long as we're having fun,
    isn't that what really matters?
[09:18] Tsubasa
    I guess so.
[09:21] Tsubasa
    Hot!
[09:25] Sekine
    Oh, that's mine. Bhut jolokia.
[09:29] Rikka
    Bhut?
[09:30] Chiyo
    Jolokia?
[09:31] Sekine
    I wanted to go with the Carolina Reaper,
    supposedly the hottest in the world.
[09:38] Sekine
    But I thought that might be
    too much for beginners.
[09:42] Narrator
    A strange form of consideration.
[09:43] Tsubasa
    This is already too much!
[09:46] Chiyo
    I want to try it!
[09:49] Rikka
    Me, too!
[09:50] Chiyo
    Which one is it?
[09:51] Rikka
    Is it this one?
[09:53] Rikka
    Here we go!
[09:55] Chiyo
    All or nothing!
[09:58] Chiyo
    Too bad. It was the gummy.
[10:02] Rikka
    Mine, too! Mine was sweet!
[10:06] Narrator
    The Colonel hit the jackpot.
[10:09] Tsubasa
    Oh, really?
[10:14] Sekine
    Oh yeah, Tsubasa, what did you add?
[10:18] Tsubasa
    Cod roe and cheese...
[10:22] Sekine
    Cod roe...
[10:23] Chiyo
    ...and cheese.
[10:25] Chiyo
    Oh, I remember.
    That salty taste was cheese.
[10:30] Rikka
    What a solid combination!
[10:33] Rikka
    It goes well in Revolutionary
    Hot Pot, as well!
[10:36] Cheese
    I'll be back.
[10:37] Sekine
    Tsubasa, you had the most
    girly pick out of all of us.
[10:43] Narrator
    Unable to recover, physically or mentally.
[10:52] Chiyo
    Eating takoyaki outside was delicious, too,
[10:55] Chiyo
    but making takoyaki together
    is on a whole new level.
[10:58] Rikka
    Yep!
[11:00] Sekine
    That takoyaki stand really wasn't that good.
[11:04] Sekine
    Chiyo-san, that tea you brought as a gift
    has an interesting, deep taste.
[11:08] Tsubasa
    It has a distinct bitterness.
[11:10] Chiyo
    It's dokudami.
[11:12] Rikka
    It's so sweet!
[11:14] Chiyo
    Huh?
[11:15] Tsubasa & Sekine
    Huh?
[11:16] Narrator
    Her alien palate is out of this world.
SIGN    Aaargh!
SIGN    Bratatatat
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
[11:26] Sekine
    Are you sure you want to
    go home in this typhoon?
[11:31] Tsubasa
    I can't sleep without my usual pillow.
[11:33] Tsubasa
    Sleeping over would
    totally be crossing a line!
[11:36] Chiyo
    Rikka-chan, you, too?
[11:37] Rikka
    I have to protect my house!
[11:41] Rikka
    I might get contacted by the mothership!
[11:56] Chiyo
    Am I using too much force?
[11:59] Sekine
    No, it's just right.
[12:02] Chiyo
    You're not going to take those off?
[12:05] Sekine
    I'm totally blind without them.
[12:09] Narrator
    Sekine has a secret reason why
    she can never remove her glasses
[12:13] Narrator
    around other people.
[12:18] Sekine
    All right, Chiyo-san. My turn to wash you.
[12:27] Narrator
    "Never show your back to anyone."
[12:32] Narrator
    An unfortunate habit of the escaped ninja.
[12:42] Sekine
    Getting someone else
    to do it makes it so easy.
[12:46] Chiyo
    Please leave it to me.
[12:52] Chiyo
    During my ninja days,
    this was always my dream.
[12:56] Chiyo
    If I could someday escape the clan,
[13:00] Chiyo
    and make cute friends
    who are nice to me...
SIGN    Summer Break
SIGN    Hot! Hot!
SIGN    Takopa!!
SIGN    From solid choices
    to weird tastes,
     enjoy as a group!
SIGN    This month's special!
SIGN    Compact, yet can make
    16 takoyaki at once!
     Won't keep you waiting!
[13:05] Chiyo
    Then some day, I might get
    to have a sleepover.
[13:10] Chiyo
    I can't believe that day's finally arrived.
[13:16] Sekine
    I guess if she feels so strongly about it,
[13:18] Sekine
    I'll oblige, to the best of my ability.
[13:22] Sekine
    Chiyo-san.
[13:23] Chiyo
    Yes?
[13:24] Sekine
    Is there anything else you want to try today?
[13:29] Sekine
    If there is...
[13:30] Chiyo
    Are you sure?!
SIGN    100 Things I Want to Try
     at a Sleepover
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Introduce myself to the parents
    Read horoscopes
    Exchange hairstyles
    Talk in bed about who I like
[13:33] Sekine
    A scroll?!
[13:35] Sekine
    One hundred things you want
    to try at a sleepover?
[13:39] Chiyo
    Introduce myself to the parents.
[13:43] Chiyo
    Bring gifts.
[13:45] Chiyo
    Have a takopa.
[13:47] Chiyo
    Take a bath together.
[13:49] Sekine
    Do each other's makeup.
[13:51] Sekine
    Read horoscopes.
[13:53] Sekine
    Exchange hairstyles.
SIGN    Talk in bed about
    who I like
[13:55] Sekine
    Talk in bed about who you like...?
[14:00] Chiyo
    Sekine-san, do you know who I like?
[14:04] Narrator
    Nobody expected the quiz format.
[14:07] Sekine
    Hmm, is it Rikka?
[14:11] Chiyo
    Well, you're half correct.
[14:14] Chiyo
    Rikka-chan, Sekine-san, and Tsubasa-san.
[14:17] Chiyo
    I like all three of you. You're the most
    precious people I have in the world.
[14:22] Chiyo
    Especially you, Sekine-san.
[14:25] Chiyo
    You invited me to lunch
    on the first day I transferred in.
[14:32] Chiyo
    That really made me so happy.
[14:37] Sekine
    Yeah, I remember that.
[14:40] Sekine
    All right, time to sleep now.
[14:47] Chiyo
    Are you blushing?
[14:49] Sekine
    I am indeed.
[14:52] Chiyo
    Maybe I'll join you.
[14:58] Sekine
    It's quite tight.
[15:00] Chiyo
    Indeed it is.
[15:03] Chiyo
    You really are blushing. That's so cute!
[15:21] Sekine
    Hmm? Chiyo-san?
[15:27] Sekine
    Chiyo-san, did you make this?
[15:30] Chiyo
    I made breakfast!
[15:33] Chiyo
    I did the best I could
    without spending a single yen!
[15:36] Sekine
    This cost nothing to make? That's incredible!
[15:40] Sekine
    Thank you for the food!
[15:43] Sekine
    Meat? I don't remember having any...
[15:54] Sekine
    Let me end that train of thought right there!
SIGN    Kids, don't try this at home!
[16:01] Sekine
    Come to think of it,
SIGN    Cling on to Life
[16:02] Sekine
    isn't it more like, one-third correct,
    not half correct?
[16:08] Sekine
    You know, when we were talking
    about who you liked.
[16:11] Chiyo
    Sekine-san, I'm sorry.
SIGN    Sekine
SIGN    Rikka
SIGN    Tsubasa
[16:15] Sekine
    Oh, does Rikka take up
    half the total or something?
SIGN    Sekine
SIGN    Rikka
SIGN    Tsubasa
[16:18] Chiyo
    I'm not good with foreign languages.
[16:22] Sekine
    Foreign languages? Wait...
SIGN    One-Third Correct
[16:25] Sekine
    Does she think "one-third correct"
    is some foreign phrase?!
SIGN    Won-Surd Corekt
SIGN    Wonsurdco Rekt
SIGN    Wonsurdco Rekt
SIGN    Wonsurdco Rekt
SIGN    Wonsurdco Rekt
SIGN    Wonsurdco Rekt
SIGN    Wonsurdco Rekt
SIGN    Wonsurdco Rekt
SIGN    Wonsurdco Rekt
SIGN    Wonsurdco Rekt
SIGN    Wonsurdco Rekt
SIGN    Wonsurdco Rekt
SIGN    Wonsurdco Rekt
SIGN    Wonsurdco Rekt
SIGN    Wonsurdco Rekt
SIGN    Wonsurdco Rekt
SIGN    Wonsurdco Rekt
[16:29] Foreign-sounding Voice
    Wonsurdco Rekt.
[16:31] Chiyo
    I'll study harder so that I don't
    embarrass myself in front of Mr. Brian!
[16:35] Sekine
    Chiyo-san...
[16:37] Narrator
    And that was how Chiyo
    wrapped up her happy day.
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
[16:49] Sekine
    Time to go home.
[16:51] Tsubasa
    Yeah.
[16:54] Sekine
    Chiyo-san, Rikka... Hmm?
[16:59] Sekine
    Whoa!
[17:15] Sekine
    Oops...
[17:17] Narrator
    Allow me to explain.
[17:18] Narrator
    When Sekine removes her glasses,
[17:21] Narrator
    she loses all control
    of her psychic abilities!
SIGN    Takoyaki
[17:27] Narrator
    When she removed her glasses earlier,
    at that exact moment...
[17:40] Sekine
    Who would've thought something
    like this would happen?
[17:48] Chiyo
    I... I...
[17:51] Chiyo
    I killed Rikka-chan...
[17:56] Chiyo
    From a young age, I trained hard as a ninja.
[18:00] Chiyo
    I honed my skills as an assassin,
    under orders from the clan.
[18:05] Chiyo
    But then I met Maskuma, and escaped the clan.
[18:10] Chiyo
    And just as I'd managed to earn
    a peaceful life as a normal girl...
[18:16] Chiyo
    I'm sorry, everyone.
[18:18] Tsubasa
    Hey, this wasn't your fault, right?
[18:22] Chiyo
    It's too late. Everything is.
[18:24] Chiyo
    I'll turn myself in.
[18:30] Chiyo
    But before that...
[18:32] Chiyo
    I must unleash the beast within me.
[18:34] Chiyo
    And destroy my clan.
SIGN    Battle of Vengeance
SIGN    Battle of Vengeance
[18:45] Tsubasa
    A shuriken...
[18:47] Tsubasa
    Oh, I get it.
[18:49] Tsubasa
    They're planning a surprise.
[18:52] Tsubasa
    They did a pretty good job,
    but the color of the blood's a bit off.
[18:56] Narrator
    Fluorescent pink.
[18:59] Tsubasa
    Chiyo-san totally believes it.
[19:01] Tsubasa
    What's the surprise for, anyway?
[19:05] Tsubasa
    Oh, it must be some kind of celebration!
SIGN    Birthday Surprise Successful!!
[19:09] Tsubasa
    We did Chiyo-san's birthday
    surprise a while back.
[19:12] Tsubasa
    Hmm? Whose birthday is it, anyway?
[19:16] Tsubasa
    I guess I'll play along for a bit.
[19:23] Tsubasa
    Wow, a party gadget.
    They really put the effort in.
[19:29] Tsubasa
    Sekine seems calm.
[19:33] Sekine
    The Colonel's mimesis
    is wearing off, but that's fine.
[19:38] Sekine
    Time to pack up my stuff and get outta here!
[19:40] Narrator
    Really, Sekine?
[19:42] Sekine
    What do you mean, really?
[19:44] Narrator
    Chiyo thinks it's all her fault.
    Aren't you ashamed of yourself?
[19:49] Sekine
    Shame doesn't put food on the table!
[19:52] Narrator
    Oh, right. You're like that.
[19:55] Sekine
    I've been living under the Organization's
    surveillance for fourteen years!
[19:59] Sekine
    If they find out I killed someone
    due to losing control of my powers,
[20:03] Sekine
    they'll make me disappear!
[20:06] Sekine
    I need to skip town before next dawn.
[20:13] Rikka
    What... is...
[20:16] Rikka
    Something suddenly struck my head.
[20:19] Rikka
    My self-healing factor is working, but...
[20:22] Rikka
    Is this another Earth custom I'm unaware of?
[20:28] Sekine
    She's reanimating.
[20:30] Chiyo
    Please let me go, Tsubasa-san!
[20:32] Chiyo
    I... I can't!
[20:33] Tsubasa
    Chiyo-san!
[20:35] Chiyo
    I can't be with you anymore!
[20:37] Tsubasa
    Chiyo-san!
[20:38] Tsubasa
    Chiyo-san, wait!
[20:40] Tsubasa
    This is just a surprise!
[20:42] Chiyo
    Huh?
[20:42] Tsubasa
    Come on, Rikka, get up already!
[20:45] Rikka
    This is a surprise...?
[20:50] Sekine
    Everything has gone according to my plan.
[20:53] Tsubasa
    Sekine?!
[20:54] Chiyo
    Sekine-san?
[20:56] Sekine
    Yes! I bought the shuriken online,
    and the blood is just paint!
SIGN    It Came Off
SIGN    It Came Off
[20:59] Sekine
    I planned this all by myself
    without even consulting Rikka!
[21:02] Sekine
    She must have passed out
    from the surprise.
[21:04] Sekine
    The reason why I planned all this was...
[21:06] Sekine
    Today is the anniversary of my
    great-grandmother's death!
[21:09] Narrator
    As forced a lie as can be.
SIGN    Forced Bogus Bald-Faced Contrived Shameless Flagrant Forced Bogus Bald-Faced Contrived Shameless Flagrant Forced Bogus Bald-Faced Contrived Shameless Flagrant Forced Bogus Bald-Faced Contrived Shameless Flagrant
[21:11] Chiyo
    I'm so glad, Rikka-chan!
[21:14] Rikka
    Oh, so it was a surprise.
[21:17] Rikka
    I had no idea this was how one paid respect
    to a deceased great-grandparent.
[21:22] Tsubasa
    Come on, Rikka, let's wipe off that paint.
[21:24] Rikka
    Thank you.
[21:26] Sekine
    Now I should be safe from
    the Organization's assassins.
[21:34] Narrator
    Peace prevails once again.
SIGN    Next Episode Preview
SIGN    Day Duty:
     Sekine
[23:09] Sekine
    I can't take off my glasses
    for some specific reasons.
[23:12] Rikka
    Even when eating ramen?
[23:14] Sekine
    Yes. Even when I sleep or bathe.
[23:17] Sekine
    I wash my face with my glasses on.
SIGN    #07: Ring Out!
     The Songs of Friends
[23:19] Chiyo
    The ultimate dedication
    to the "girl with glasses" trope!
[23:21] Tsubasa
    I really doubt anyone does that.

E7 - The Songs of Friends

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:17] Tsubasa
    What is this place?
SIGN    Class 2-B
    Air Band
SIGN    The
SIGN    Lit
SIGN    tle
SIGN    Lies
SIGN    We
SIGN    All
SIGN    Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    Rikka
SIGN    Colonel
SIGN    Chiyo-san
SIGN    Chiyo-san
SIGN    Ninja
SIGN    Sekine
SIGN    Psychic
SIGN    Tsubasa
SIGN    Tsuyoshi
SIGN    Boy
SIGN    Note:
     Is Sekine
SIGN    Maskuma Mask
SIGN    Class 2-B
    Air Band
SIGN    Poeh
SIGN    #07: Ring Out! The Songs of Friends
SIGN    #07: Ring Out! The Songs of Friends
SIGN    #07: Ring Out! The Songs of Friends
SIGN    #07: Ring Out! The Songs of Friends
SIGN    #07: Ring Out! The Songs of Friends
SIGN    #07: Ring Out! The Songs of Friends
SIGN    #07: Ring Out! The Songs of Friends
SIGN    #07: Ring Out! The Songs of Friends
SIGN    #07: Ring Out! The Songs of Friends
SIGN    #07: Ring Out! The Songs of Friends
SIGN    #07: Ring Out! The Songs of Friends
SIGN    #07: Ring Out! The Songs of Friends
SIGN    #07: Ring Out! The Songs of Friends
[01:54] Tsubasa
    Sekine! Are you awake?!
[02:00] Rikka
    Huh? What happened to the karaoke?
[02:02] Chiyo
    Where in the world are we?
[02:04] Tsubasa
    I don't know.
[02:06] Tsubasa
    We were singing at the karaoke box
    just moments ago.
[02:10] Sekine
    If I remember correctly...
SIGN    Free time!
SIGN    All-you-
    can-drink
SIGN    Only
SIGN    3 hour pack 6 hour pack
SIGN    All-you-can-eat french fries
SIGN    Poeh
SIGN    Poeh
[02:22] Sekine
    She sings from her tentacles?
    Didn't she fart from there, too?
[02:28] Sekine
    What is this? I'm suddenly getting sleepy...
[02:41] Sekine
    That's right. So that's why...
[02:44] Tsubasa
    There must've been something in our drinks.
[02:46] Tsubasa
    This has to be human trafficking!
SIGN    Limited imagination
SIGN     CENSORED
[02:49] Tsubasa
    We're getting sold off to a lecherous
    billionaire or something!
[02:52] Rikka
    Wh-What?!
SIGN    Acting surprised, though not sure why
[02:53] Sekine
    Hey, um...
[02:56] Tsubasa
    If someone comes, I'll tackle them!
    The rest of you, run!
[02:59] Sekine
    Well, but...
[03:00] Tsubasa
    Don't worry. Unlike the rest of you,
    nobody would try to buy me...
[03:05] Tsubasa
    If they find out I'm a guy,
    they might kill me instead.
[03:10] Chiyo
    This isn't human trafficking.
[03:13] Chiyo
    It must be an assassin from my clan
    using sleeping drugs...
[03:17] Chiyo
    I'm sorry, everyone,
    for getting you mixed up in this!
[03:20] Chiyo
    It's just me that they're after!
[03:23] Tsubasa
    Huh? We don't know
    that you're the target, do we?
[03:27] Chiyo
    No! It has to be me!
SIGN    Proud to Be so Beautiful
SIGN    Proud to Be so Beautiful
SIGN    Proud to Be so Beautiful
SIGN    Proud to Be so Beautiful
SIGN    Proud to Be so Beautiful
SIGN    Proud to Be so Beautiful
SIGN    Proud to Be so Beautiful
SIGN    Proud to Be so Beautiful
SIGN    Proud to Be so Beautiful
SIGN    Proud to Be so Beautiful
SIGN    Proud to Be so Beautiful
SIGN    Proud to Be so Beautiful
SIGN    Proud to Be so Beautiful
SIGN    Proud to Be so Beautiful
SIGN    Proud to Be so Beautiful
[03:31] Chiyo
    Why would anyone target anyone but me?
[03:36] Tsubasa
    How conceited is she?
[03:38] Tsubasa
    Well, maybe that's true,
    but it's not your fault.
[03:42] Chiyo
    Now that the clan has captured us,
[03:45] Chiyo
    the only fate that awaits us
    is torture and death.
[03:47] Chiyo
    Rather than allow my friends
    to face such an end...
[03:50] Chiyo
    I will grant them a quick death.
[03:53] Narrator
    Kill or be killed: the only two choices.
[03:56] Rikka
    You fool!
[03:58] Sekine
    Colonel?!
[04:07] Rikka
    L-Life is too precious!
[04:10] Chiyo
    I just wanted their deaths
    to be free of suffering...
[04:13] Sekine
    Don't worry, everyone. This is—
[04:17] Director
    Are you all awake?
[04:19] Sekine
    Director!
[04:20] Director
    Long time no see, Sekine-kun.
[04:22] Tsubasa
    What's going on?
[04:24] Chiyo
    Do you know this man?
[04:25] Sekine
    Well, it's...
[04:26] Director
    Sekine-kun.
[04:28] Director
    I told you never to take your glasses off.
[04:31] Director
    You lost control of your powers
    and caused quite a ruckus.
[04:36] Director
    That room you were in was a total mess.
[04:39] Director
    I had to take care of the cleanup.
[04:41] Sekine
    Right...
[04:43] Director
    I know you didn't mean to.
    But a promise is a promise.
[04:47] Director
    You agreed that if you caused
    damage due to losing control
[04:50] Director
    of your powers,
    you'd come back to the lab.
[04:52] Sekine
    The Director sure is a lot older now.
[04:54] Narrator
    She rejects the reality looming before her.
[04:58] Director
    It's only natural for me to age.
[05:00] Director
    The last time we met was before
    you started middle school.
[05:04] Narrator
    The director is also a psychic.
    An A-class psychic, at that.
[05:08] Sekine
    I'm fine with returning to the lab.
[05:12] Sekine
    But first off, my friends
    need an explanation...
[05:14] Director
    I sent your friends back
    to where they came from.
[05:17] Director
    Don't worry.
SIGN    Hazy...
[05:19] Director
    I've already erased you from their memories.
[05:22] Sekine
    He works fast.
SIGN    Karaoke
[05:29] Chiyo
    Hmm?
[05:30] Chiyo
    What are we doing here?
[05:32] Tsubasa
    The three of us were singing at karaoke,
    of course. That was fun.
[05:37] Chiyo
    It was indeed! It was my
    first time, but I enjoyed it!
[05:41] Rikka
    I know, right? I didn't know Sekine-chan
    had such a cute singing voice!
[05:45] Tsubasa
    Sekine? Who's that?
[05:48] Chiyo
    Is that a friend of yours?
[05:51] Tsubasa
    Oh, there's a TV show
    I wanted to watch today.
[05:53] Tsubasa
    I'd better go home now.
[05:55] Chiyo
    Let's be off, then.
[05:56] Tsubasa
    You've heard of this show?
[05:58] Chiyo
    Yes, I have.
[05:59] Tsubasa
    How did you know which I meant?
[06:01] Chiyo
    I just did.
[06:02] Rikka
    Where did Miss Sekine go?
[06:04] Narrator
    Even an A-class psychic's abilities
    do not work on a space alien.
[06:12] Tsubasa
    Isn't it weirdly quiet today?
[06:15] Chiyo
    You're right.
[06:18] Chiyo
    I just have this feeling that
    things are usually more lively.
[06:21] Tsubasa
    Must be our imagination.
[06:23] Chiyo
    Yes, we must just be imagining it.
[06:25] Rikka
    Why did everyone else
    forget about Miss Sekine?
[06:29] Rikka
    Is this something that
    happens often to Earthlings?
[06:33] Rikka
    Hey, about my friend.
[06:36] Rikka
    She said something about her abilities
    causing a big issue at karaoke,
[06:40] Rikka
    and she got taken in by a big organization.
[06:43] Rikka
    Is this something that happens often?
[06:45] Tsubasa
    Abilities at karaoke causing
    a big organization to take her in?
[06:51] Headhunter Zhuge Liang
    Please join my agency.
SIGN    Like! Like! Like! Like! Like! Like! Like! Like! Like! Like! Like! Like! Like! Like! Like! Like!
[06:53] Tsubasa
    I guess it happens sometimes.
    Like a big singer debut.
[06:57] Rikka
    I see. And when that happens,
    do people forget about her?
[07:02] Tsubasa
    I guess those people tend
    to become more distant.
[07:04] Rikka
    I see...
[07:06] Chiyo
    But really, it's amazing that your friend
    is going to be a singer!
[07:10] Chiyo
    Let's all cheer her on.
[07:13] Rikka
    Right!
[07:17] Rikka
    Chase your dream, Miss Sekine.
[07:20] Rikka
    Let your song ring out into the galaxy!
[07:23] Sekine
    Yay!
[07:35] Sekine
    I'm so bored.
[07:37] Director
    Would you like to chat with me?
[07:39] Sekine
    Director!
SIGN    Please do not teleport into a girl's bedroom
[07:41] Sekine
    It's hard to find common ground
    with the generational gap between us.
[07:45] Director
    I'm sorry. Well, I'll leave this here, then.
SIGN    Villainess
    Singing Prince
[07:48] Director
    An otome game for you.
[07:49] Sekine
    Thank you!
[07:51] Director
    If there's anything else you need,
    don't hesitate to ask.
[07:55] Sekine
    Yes, gladly!
SIGN    Stayed up all night to finish it
[08:45] Sekine
    That's embarrassing!
SIGN    Blush
SIGN    Don't make me...
    say it out loud...
[08:51] Sekine
    Life here isn't so bad.
[08:55] Sekine
    Or rather, except for the fact that
    I can't leave without permission,
[08:59] Sekine
    this place is a lot better
    than life on the outside.
[09:02] Sekine
    Now that I think about it, my lousy
    psychic power put me through a lot.
[09:11] (Flashback) Female Student 1
    Hey, can I copy your homework? I forgot.
[09:15] (Flashback) Female Student 2
    We're friends, right?
[09:17] Female Student 2
    We're not friends at all.
[09:19] Female Student 1
    I only hang out with her because
    she lets me copy her homework.
[09:22] Sekine
    Because I could read people's minds,
    I barely ever had any friends.
[09:28] Sekine
    The rest of my family,
    also psychics, are missing.
[09:32] Sekine
    Living life alone was all I could muster.
[09:35] Sekine
    Who would have thought I'd be
    burdened with even more problems...
[09:40] Sekine
    Chiyo-san, a former ninja,
    Colonel Rikka, an alien,
[09:44] Sekine
    and Tsubasa, a normal girl, though
    I can't read her mind for some reason.
[09:48] (Flashback) Sekine
    The weather's kind of nice today!
[09:50] (Flashback) Rikka
    It's actually cloudy.
[09:52] (Flashback) Sekine
    Rikka, you have to tie your ribbon properly!
[09:55] (Flashback) Rikka
    That hurts! That hurts!
[09:57] Sekine
    Bringing order to that chaos
    was always hard work.
[10:00] Sekine
    I wonder if those three
    will be all right without me?
[10:05] Sekine
    Chiyo-san is so quick to cry and blames
    herself for everything. I worry about her.
[10:10] Sekine
    The Colonel hasn't accustomed
    herself to Earth yet.
[10:13] Sekine
    I hope she doesn't do anything weird.
[10:16] Sekine
    Tsubasa and I fought a lot.
[10:18] Sekine
    But she's a good kid at heart,
    so she's easy to get along with.
[10:23] Sekine
    Hopefully Tsubasa will be
    a good mediator for them.
[10:26] Sekine
    Yeah, it's fine.
    Those three should do just fine.
[10:33] Sekine
    Oh, speaking of which...
[10:34] Sekine
    We were going to eat
    a parfait together next week.
[10:38] Sekine
    The Big Parfait, too big to finish alone.
[10:40] Sekine
    I do want to try it again...
[10:44] Sekine
    No, I shouldn't be too pessimistic.
[10:47] Sekine
    I'm sure that, as long as I survive,
[10:49] Sekine
    one day I'll be able to eat
    the Big Parfait again!
[10:52] Sekine
    Our family motto is
    "Cling on to Life," after all!
SIGN    Cling on to Life
[10:56] Rikka
    Sekine-chan.
[11:07] Rikka
    I was just going to leave
    this signed board here,
SIGN    Next stop: Singing at the Kohaku!
    -Rikka
[11:10] Rikka
    but you looked a bit sad,
    so I couldn't help but say hi.
SIGN    Next stop: Singing at the Kohaku!
    -Rikka
SIGN    Next stop: Singing at the Kohaku!
    -Rikka
[11:14] Sekine
    I'm not sad...
[11:16] Rikka
    Oh, really? Then why are you crying?
[11:24] Sekine
    I'm not crying.
[11:25] Sekine
    Besides, what's that board for, anyway?
[11:29] Rikka
    It's a message of encouragement for you!
[11:32] Rikka
    Chiyo-san and Tsubasa-san
    also said "good luck"!
SIGN    Next stop: Singing at the Kohaku!
    -Rikka
[11:44] Sekine
    Don't worry about me.
[11:46] Sekine
    In fact, inviting friends here
    is against the rules.
[11:50] Sekine
    If they find out,
    you'll get in trouble, too...
[11:53] Sekine
    I have to get changed for my physical.
[11:57] Sekine
    Could you leave?
[11:58] Rikka
    Sekine-chan...
[12:00] Ring tone
    The first and last words out of
    your filthy sewers will be "sir"!
[12:02] Ring tone
    Do you maggots understand that?!
[12:04] Ring tone
    Sir, yes sir!
[12:06] Rikka
    Hello?
[12:07] Tsubasa
    Hey, Rikka? Were you able to hand
    that signed board to your friend?
[12:10] Rikka
    Oh, I was just about to.
[12:13] Tsubasa
    I see. Well, my sister—
[12:15] Tsubasa
    I mean, my brother wanted you to
    ask her which agency she belongs to.
[12:19] Rikka
    This might not be the best time.
    She's crying and trying to undress.
[12:24] Tsubasa
    What? What's going on?!
[12:27] Tsubasa
    Wait...
SIGN    18-Year-Old Aspiring
     Singer's Purity Defiled
SIGN    Every Girl Has a Secret
SIGN    The Little Laid We All Get
[12:28] Tsubasa
    Is that like, something pretty bad?
[12:31] Tsubasa
    Is everything all right? Does she
    understand what she's getting into?
[12:35] Rikka
    Hmm.
[12:39] Rikka
    She does look like she's in pain.
[12:41] Tsubasa
    I see.
[12:42] Tsubasa
    Maybe she's not being rational,
[12:45] Tsubasa
    and maybe some bad adults
    are taking advantage of her.
[12:48] Tsubasa
    It might be best for you to stop her.
[12:51] Rikka
    Got it. Thanks, Tsubasa-chan.
[12:57] Rikka
    Sekine-chan.
[12:58] Rikka
    Let's get out of here together.
    Just leave it all to me!
[13:03] Rikka
    But I'm afraid you're going to have to
    give up your dream of attending the Kohaku.
SIGN    So Sorry
SIGN    So Sorry
SIGN    Next stop: Singing at the Kohaku!
    -Rikka
[13:07] Sekine
    Huh? Uh, okay.
[13:09] Director
    You have some wonderful friends, Sekine-kun.
[13:12] Sekine
    Director!
[13:13] Director
    An alien. Who would've thought?
SIGN    Triumphant Escape!
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
[13:18] Rikka & Sekine
    Triumphant Escape!
[13:23] Director
    Excellent.
[13:24] Director
    With this specimen...
[13:26] Director
    I can gain "the power."
[13:29] Director
    "The power" that I need
    to avoid repeating that tragedy!
[13:33] (Flashback) Worker
    A young, pretty, tidy woman who is
    a good cook with a nice personality?
[13:38] (Flashback) Worker
    Aren't you being too greedy?
[13:40] (Flashback) Director
    I don't care if she doesn't love me.
[13:41] (Flashback) Director
    She can treat me like a talking ATM.
[13:44] (Flashback) Worker
    That said, this is your hundredth
    arranged marriage attempt.
[13:47] (Flashback) Director
    Damn it!
[13:48] (Flashback) Director
    If only I had "the power" of a stable income!
SIGN    The ideal woman
SIGN    21-24 years old ONLY!
    Schooling, appearance,
     prior arrests, no questions asked!
[13:52] Director
    Once I research this specimen and publish
    the results, I'll surely get a raise.
[13:56] Director
    Then I can find someone to marry me for sure!
[13:58] Sekine
    I can't read his thoughts, but I get the
    feeling he's thinking something terrible.
[14:03] Narrator
    Sort of right, but sort of wrong.
[14:07] Director
    In return for the opportunity you've
    brought me, I'll let you go, Sekine-kun.
[14:12] Director
    But you have to promise not to
    tell anyone about your alien friend.
[14:17] Director
    Now would be a good time to say goodbye.
[14:26] Sekine
    Why would I...
[14:27] Sekine
    Why would I ever do that?!
[14:30] Sekine
    Rikka is my precious friend!
[14:32] Sekine
    I would never betray a friend!
[14:34] Sekine
    Rikka, sing us a song!
    I feel like getting my groove on!
[14:38] Rikka
    Uh, all right!
[14:54] Sekine
    Thanks for that, Rikka.
[14:59] Rikka
    Let's escape, Sekine-chan!
[15:03] Sekine
    What? Out the window?!
[15:10] Rikka
    Come on, let's run,
SIGN    Whoosh
SIGN    Fwip
[15:12] Rikka
    Smokey!
[15:13] Sekine
    Who the heck is that?!
[15:19] Director
    What was I doing here?
[15:26] Rikka
    Hey, is anyone following us?
[15:28] Sekine
    Who knows?
[15:30] Sekine
    Even if there was, I'm sure we
    could figure something out.
[15:34] Rikka
    Hey, Sekine-chan,
[15:37] Rikka
    that man from before called me an alien, but—
[15:41] Sekine
    The stars...
[15:43] Sekine
    They're so pretty.
[15:45] Sekine
    I wonder if the Earth looks
    this pretty from outer space?
[15:48] Rikka
    Yes, it's so pretty how it shines blue...
[15:51] Rikka
    ...is what an alien would say!
[15:54] Sekine
    I see.
[15:56] Sekine
    That's nice. I'd like to see it some day.
[15:59] Rikka
    In that case, I'll take you out to space
    in my UFO sometime...
[16:03] Rikka
    ...is what an alien would say!
[16:06] Sekine
    Sounds like an alien
    I'd like to be friends with.
[16:11] Rikka
    Hey, Sekine-chan.
[16:15] Rikka
    I can't take you to outer space
    right now, but...
[16:19] Rikka
    If you run into any trouble,
    don't hesitate to talk to me!
[16:27] Sekine
    I can take care of myself.
[16:30] Sekine
    For most things.
[16:37] Tsubasa
    Hey, Sekine.
[16:38] Chiyo
    Hello, Sekine-san.
[16:42] Tsubasa
    What? What's wrong?
[16:44] Sekine
    N-Nothing! Good morning!
[16:48] Rikka
    Good. Everyone's memories are back.
[16:52] Sekine
    I see. The Colonel fixed their memories.
[16:55] Sekine
    Hey, do you want to go eat
    the Big Parfait after school today?
[16:59] Chiyo
    Yes! What a wonderful suggestion!
[17:02] Rikka
    Sure, let's go!
[17:03] Tsubasa
    Nice!
[17:07] Sekine
    This is the final showdown. Here we go.
[17:10] Tsubasa
    Uh, yeah.
[17:13] Tsubasa
    This ends here!
[17:16] Sekine
    On which card shall my fate rest?
[17:20] Narrator
    You're probably wondering
    how they ended up like this.
[17:23] Narrator
    It was right after lunch break started.
[17:26] (Flashback) Mr. Brian
    Attention!
SIGN    That's Amelon
SIGN    Melon Bread
SIGN    Melon Bread
[17:28] (Flashback) Mr. Brian
    I forgot my lovely wife packed me lunch today!
[17:31] (Flashback) Mr. Brian
    I'll give this bread away
    to whoever wants it!
[17:36] (Flashback) Sekine
    Th-That's...!
[17:37] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    The super-high-class melon bread
    that contains actual melon,
[17:40] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    limited to ten available per day,
    sold at the cafeteria!
[17:42] (Flashback) Rikka
    I-I want it!
[17:44] (Flashback) Chiyo
    I'd love to try it, too.
    Shall we split it four ways?
[17:49] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    I'm sorry, Chiyo-san.
    This melon bread cannot be shared.
[17:53] (Flashback) Sekine
    I want one all for myself, too!
[17:55] (Flashback) Rikka
    Me, too!
[17:57] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    I have a deck of rock-paper-scissors cards.
    Let's play for it!
[18:01] Narrator
    Chiyo and Colonel Rikka were defeated,
[18:04] Narrator
    and the final showdown
    is between Sekine and Tsubasa!
[18:09] Rikka
    You have to win.
[18:11] Rikka
    Win, and crawl out of the trash heap
    that is your life.
[18:15] Rikka
    If you don't win, you're trash!
[18:18] Chiyo
    No hard feelings, whoever wins!
[18:21] Tsubasa
    Right.
[18:22] Sekine
    Are you sure, Tsubasa?
    Your life depends on that card.
[18:28] Tsubasa
    Gulp.
[18:32] Sekine
    The next card I will play is...
[18:37] Sekine
    Paper.
[18:39] Tsubasa
    Paper? So if I play...
[18:44] Tsubasa
    If I play scissors, I win?
[18:47] Tsubasa
    No, I won't let her trick me!
[18:49] Sekine
    Please trust me.
[18:52] Narrator
    There's a reason Sekine can't afford to lose.
[18:56] (Flashback) Teacher
    Your grades are falling.
[18:58] (Flashback) Teacher
    You might lose eligibility for
    your scholarship if this continues.
[19:01] (Flashback) Sekine
    What?
[19:02] Sekine
    Lately, I've been spending so
    much time helping Chiyo-san study
[19:05] Sekine
    that I haven't had time for my own.
[19:08] Sekine
    I have to save money,
    in case I lose the scholarship!
[19:12] Sekine
    I cut down on food costs and
    stopped eating snacks to save money.
[19:16] Sekine
    I have to win this game so I can eat
    something nice for the first time in ages!
SIGN    That's Amelon
SIGN    Melon Bread
SIGN    Melon Bread
[19:23] Tsubasa
    I'm sorry, but I can't concede.
    Not this fight!
[19:27] Narrator
    Tsubasa also had a strong reason too win.
[19:31] Tsubasa (Sister)
    Go buy me that melon bread they
    sell in your school. Thanks.
[19:35] Tsubasa
    I've sprinted to the cafeteria every
    lunch break, but it's always sold out.
[19:39] Tsubasa
    If I don't bring one home soon, she might...
[19:41] Tsubasa (Sister)
    I'll send you to The Underground
    and make you cross steel beams!
SIGN    Psst... Psst... Psst... Psst... Psst... Psst... Psst... Psst...
[19:45] Tsubasa
    I can trust Sekine and play scissors.
[19:47] Tsubasa
    Or I can call her bluff and play paper.
[19:50] Tsubasa
    But maybe she'll be even
    more unpredictable...
[19:53] Tsubasa
    Psst... Psst...
[19:55] Rikka
    At this rate, lunch break
    will be over before we decide!
[19:58] Rikka
    I'll just go ahead and—
[20:02] Narrator
    Melon bread weighs more than life!
[20:05] Sekine
    Cards on the table! One, two...
[20:08] Tsubasa
    Hold it!
[20:11] Tsubasa
    You're not going to say you're playing paper
    and play scissors instead, are you?
[20:14] Sekine
    Right.
[20:15] Narrator
    It's still only been four seconds!
[20:18] Tsubasa
    You're really going to play paper, right?
[20:21] Sekine
    Right.
[20:23] Tsubasa
    You will never succeed in life.
[20:26] Sekine
    What?!
[20:34] Sekine & Tsubasa
    One, two, three!
[20:37] Sekine
    Wha...
[20:38] Tsubasa
    You probably don't know this
    about yourself, but...
[20:43] Tsubasa
    when you lie, you raise
    your eyebrow just a tiny bit.
[20:47] Tsubasa
    When I asked if you were going to play
    scissors, your eyebrow didn't move.
[20:50] Tsubasa
    But when I asked if you were
    going to play paper...
[20:54] Tsubasa
    So you lied about playing paper.
SIGN    The mystery is solved!
SIGN    The mystery is solved!
SIGN    The mystery is solved!
SIGN    The mystery is solved!
SIGN    The mystery is solved!
SIGN    The mystery is solved!
SIGN    The mystery is solved!
SIGN    The mystery is solved!
SIGN    The mystery is solved!
SIGN    The mystery is solved!
SIGN    The mystery is solved!
SIGN    The mystery is solved!
SIGN    The mystery is solved!
[20:57] Tsubasa
    I knew you were going to play rock!
SIGN    In the name of my grandfather!
SIGN    In the name of my grandfather!
SIGN    In the name of my grandfather!
SIGN    In the name of my grandfather!
SIGN    In the name of my grandfather!
SIGN    In the name of my grandfather!
SIGN    In the name of my grandfather!
SIGN    In the name of my grandfather!
SIGN    In the name of my grandfather!
SIGN    In the name of my grandfather!
SIGN    In the name of my grandfather!
SIGN    In the name of my grandfather!
SIGN    In the name of my grandfather!
SIGN    In the name of my grandfather!
[21:00] Narrator
    Twelve seconds! Completed!
[21:02] Chiyo
    Congratulations, Tsubasa-san.
[21:05] Tsubasa
    Thank you!
[21:06] Narrator
    His sister stole it after this.
[21:12] Rikka
    Oh, right!
[21:18] Rikka
    I almost forgot! I bought
    the limited melon bread, too!
[21:23] Rikka
    Here you are!
[21:24] Sekine
    Rikka...
SIGN    Gratitude...!
SIGN    Absolute gratitude...!
[21:26] Sekine
    Gratitude... Absolute gratitude...!
[21:35] Sekine
    It's ice-cold.
SIGN    Next Episode Preview
SIGN    Day Duty:
     Sekine
[23:09] Rikka
    I've got important news for everyone!
[23:12] Sekine
    Wh-What is it?
[23:13] Tsubasa
    Are we getting a feature film?
[23:16] Rikka
    The news is... The news is...
[23:18] Rikka
    that my tentacles have a nice smell!
SIGN    #08: Hanzo's Challenge
[23:21] Chiyo
    See you next week!

E8 - Hanzo’s Challenge

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Leader
    Hanzo.
[00:04] Leader
    If you can't defeat her head-on,
    then outsmart her.
[00:09] Leader
    Surely you've realized Chiyo's weakness.
[00:13] Hanzo
    Chiyo's weakness?
[00:14] Leader
    Yes.
[00:16] Hanzo
    There is no such thing.
[00:18] Hanzo
    Chiyo endured all forms of training
    from a very young age,
[00:21] Hanzo
    and never even complained.
[00:22] Hanzo
    She can't have any weaknesses...
[00:26] Hanzo
    No. Chiyo has something now
    that she didn't before.
[00:31] Hanzo
    I can win!
[00:32] Hanzo
    Finally, I will beat Chiyo!
SIGN    Class 2-B
    Air Band
SIGN    The
SIGN    Lit
SIGN    tle
SIGN    Lies
SIGN    We
SIGN    All
SIGN    Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    Rikka
SIGN    Colonel
SIGN    Chiyo-san
SIGN    Chiyo-san
SIGN    Ninja
SIGN    Sekine
SIGN    Psychic
SIGN    Tsubasa
SIGN    Tsuyoshi
SIGN    Boy
SIGN    Note:
     Is Sekine
SIGN    Maskuma Mask
SIGN    Class 2-B
    Air Band
SIGN    Poeh
SIGN    #08: Hanzo's Challenge
SIGN    #08: Hanzo's Challenge
SIGN    #08: Hanzo's Challenge
SIGN    #08: Hanzo's Challenge
SIGN    #08: Hanzo's Challenge
SIGN    #08: Hanzo's Challenge
SIGN    #08: Hanzo's Challenge
SIGN    #08: Hanzo's Challenge
SIGN    #08: Hanzo's Challenge
SIGN    #08: Hanzo's Challenge
SIGN    #08: Hanzo's Challenge
SIGN    #08: Hanzo's Challenge
[02:08] Tsubasa
    Wow, that looks delicious!
SIGN    Cutie!
[02:11] Boy 1
    Want a bite, Tsubasa-chan?
[02:13] Tsubasa
    Aww, I'm on a diet.
[02:16] Boy 1
    But you're so thin! Right?
[02:18] Boy 2
    Right!
[02:19] Tsubasa
    Oh, my gosh, really?
[02:22] Boy 1
    Really!
[02:23] Tsubasa
    Thank you! I'm, like, so happy!
[02:24] Boy 2
    Really!
[02:24] Boy 1
    Just take a bite!
[02:25] Boy 2
    You're so cute!
[02:26] Sekine
    How desperate is she?
SIGN    Wiggle wiggle
[02:28] Sekine
    Does she want a boyfriend that badly?
[02:31] Sekine
    She's usually so calm,
[02:33] Sekine
    and her androgynous look gave her
    a "prince of the girls' school" vibe.
SIGN    Wiggle wiggle
[02:38] Tsubasa
    I guess I'll eat Mr. Strawberry, then!
[02:41] Boy 2
    You can have mine, too!
[02:42] Tsubasa
    Really? Are you sure?
[02:44] Boy 2
    Sure, sure!
[02:45] Sekine
    The face of a female animal!
[02:46] Narrator
    A stock crash.
[02:48] Tsubasa
    Aah.
[02:49] Tsubasa
    Mm, delish!
[02:51] Tsubasa
    Life is pain.
[02:52] Tsubasa
    I came here to enjoy a parfait
    with my friends...
[02:55] (Flashback) Rikka
    Let's all enjoy it together!
[02:58] Tsubasa
    Rikka brought in some random boys...
[03:02] Tsubasa
    Chiyo-san is totally freaked out.
[03:05] Tsubasa
    Sekine has gone ice-cold.
[03:08] Tsubasa
    I have to protect them.
[03:10] Tsubasa
    I have to draw the boys' attention!
[03:15] Boy 2
    I have so many famous people in my family.
[03:18] Boy 2
    You know, that person... and that person...
[03:20] Boy 1
    No, no, a man's gotta have muscle.
[03:23] Tsubasa
    Wow, really? That's, like, so cool!
[03:27] Boy 1
    You think so?
[03:29] Rikka
    Good. I've collected enough
    chromosomal information.
[03:32] Rikka
    Now I can get it ready in time
    for Miss Sekine's birthday!
[03:36] Sekine
    Wha...?
[03:36] Narrator
    Her brain cannot keep up.
SIGN    Hmm... Hmm...
[03:39] Sekine
    My birthday?
SIGN    Hmm... Hmm...
SIGN    Hmm... Hmm...
[03:42] Sekine
    Oh, now I remember. The other day...
SIGN    Hmm... Hmm...
SIGN    Hmm... Hmm...
[03:44] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    I'd love to play soccer with my future son.
[03:49] (Flashback) Chiyo
    That sounds lovely.
[03:50] (Flashback) Sekine
    I'd prefer to have a daughter.
[03:54] (Flashback) Rikka
    Sekine-chan, you want a daughter?
[03:56] (Flashback) Sekine
    Yeah, I guess.
[03:58] (Flashback) Rikka
    I see. Oh!
[04:00] (Flashback) Rikka
    It's your birthday soon, isn't it?
[04:04] Sekine
    Hold up!
[04:06] Sekine
    Did she take that idle banter seriously?
[04:12] Sekine
    So...
[04:15] Chiyo
    Congratulations!
[04:15] Tsubasa
    Congrats.
[04:16] Rikka
    Sekine-chan, happy birthday!
[04:20] Rikka
    Come on, everyone.
[04:22] Rikka
    Time to swap seats!
[04:24] Chiyo
    Swap seats?
[04:26] Rikka
    Yes.
[04:27] Rikka
    You sit next to your favorite person!
[04:31] Narrator
    Where did she get this knowledge?
[04:35] Rikka
    Let's start with Sekine-chan!
[04:38] Rikka
    Who do you want to sit next to?
[04:41] Sekine
    Um...
[04:42] Sekine
    I... Uh...
[04:46] Sekine
    I feel that there isn't even
    a single half-decent man here.
[04:52] Boy 1
    U-Um, Sekine-chan, are you the tsundere type?
[04:58] Sekine
    D-Don't get the wrong idea.
[05:01] Boy 1
    Huh?
[05:01] Sekine
    I don't want your baby at all,
    not even one bit!
[05:09] Sekine
    Damn it, this makes me
    the perfect self-conscious loser.
[05:13] Sekine
    But it's the only way!
[05:15] Tsubasa
    A-Aww, c'mon, Sekine.
    This one's such a hunk!
[05:20] Rikka
    What?!
[05:20] Rikka
    Then I must give Miss Tsubasa a son...
[05:23] Sekine
    Damn you, Tsubasa!
[05:27] Sekine
    These losers... These losers...
[05:31] Sekine
    These losers deserve to go extinct!
[05:35] Sekine
    In other words, the human race is doomed!
[05:38] Three boys
    Wh-What did you say?!
[05:43] Boy 1
    I should probably get going.
[05:45] Boy 2
    We'll go ahead and pay.
[05:48] Hanzo
    Um, see you...
[05:50] Narrator
    She went from "self-conscious loser"
    to "actual, physical threat."
[05:55] Narrator
    And quietly, like the tide, the boys left.
[06:02] Tsubasa
    Sekine, don't you think
    that was a bit rude?
[06:06] Tsubasa
    You could've let them down more gently.
[06:10] Sekine
    You don't know anything.
[06:13] Sekine
    Shut up, you pierced animal!
[06:15] Sekine
    How desperate are you for attention?!
[06:17] Tsubasa
    H-Huh?!
[06:19] Tsubasa
    I tried so hard to make sure
    nobody else had to talk...
[06:26] Tsubasa
    I...
[06:27] Tsubasa
    I've never wanted boys to like me!
[06:33] Tsubasa
    I'm going home.
[06:34] Chiyo
    Oh, Tsubasa-san!
[06:42] Rikka
    This situation makes it very hard
    for me to bring up the fact
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    If you'd like, can we talk alone?
    I'll be waiting at the park.
[06:46] Rikka
    that I got asked out on a date...
[06:49] Sekine
    When the heck did that happen, Colonel?!
[06:55] Hanzo
    Hey, Rikka-chan!
[06:58] Rikka
    Sorry to make you wait!
[07:00] Hanzo
    Oh, no. I just got here.
SIGN    Shwoop
[07:04] Sekine
    I followed her here...
[07:08] Hanzo
    Please, take a seat.
[07:09] Rikka
    Sure!
[07:11] Rikka
    Good. He is very considerate.
[07:12] Rikka
    He'll make a perfect life partner.
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
[07:16] Rikka
    Who would have thought I'd find
    eternal love here on Earth...
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
SIGN    Fidget fidget
[07:22] Sekine
    What a pushover.
[07:24] Sekine
    Is it all right for such a gullible
    person to be a colonel?
[07:31] Sekine
    Ch-Chiyo-san?!
[07:34] Chiyo
    I'm sorry, Rikka-chan.
[07:38] Hanzo
    You saw through my plan
    to take your friend hostage.
[07:41] Chiyo
    Of course, Hanzo.
[07:43] Hanzo
    Impressive, my sister.
[07:45] Sekine
    What? They're siblings?!
[07:47] Hanzo
    But seeing how flustered you look,
[07:50] Hanzo
    it seems your friends really are
    your weakness, after all.
[07:54] Chiyo
    Have you no shame?
[07:56] Chiyo
    Because of your meddling, a crack has formed
    in our otherwise perfect friendship!
[08:01] Sekine
    Huh?
[08:02] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    I guess I'll eat Mr. Strawberry, then!
[08:05] (Flashback) Boy 2
    You can have mine, too!
[08:06] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    Really? Are you sure?
[08:08] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    Aah.
[08:09] Sekine
    Was it really Hanzo's fault?
[08:12] Hanzo
    That was all because that
    Tsubasa girl was so desperate!
[08:16] Chiyo
    At her age, it's only natural
    to be into romance!
[08:19] Hanzo
    Mark my words! I'll get you next time!
[08:22] Rikka
    H-Huh?
[08:24] Rikka
    Hey, Chiyo-san, wasn't a boy here just now?
[08:29] Chiyo
    That was an evil scoundrel who treats
    the pure hearts of girls as mere playthings!
[08:34] Rikka
    Oh, I see. I'm heartbroken.
[08:39] Chiyo
    What a sad look...
[08:41] Chiyo
    I'm so sorry. Everyone's so sad
    and it's all my fault.
[08:47] Rikka
    You did nothing wrong, Chiyo-san.
[08:54] Rikka
    Besides, I really like it
[08:56] Rikka
    when you're honest about what you want.
[09:01] Chiyo
    Rikka-chan...
[09:06] Rikka
    Goodbye, my love.
[09:16] Chiyo
    Good day, Tsubasa-san.
[09:19] Rikka
    Good morning!
[09:20] Tsubasa (Sister)
    Mornin'!
[09:24] Chiyo & Rikka
    Hmm?
[09:26] Rikka
    She seems different, somehow.
[09:29] Chiyo
    Is what happened yesterday
    still weighing on her mind?
[09:32] Chiyo
    Tsubasa-san, I wanted to
    talk about yesterday.
[09:37] Tsubasa (Sister)
    About yesterday?
[09:38] Chiyo
    Yes. About your fight with Sekine-san.
[09:41] Chiyo
    I know it was tough for you,
    but please make amends with her!
[09:45] Tsubasa (Sister)
    Oh, right. That doesn't bother me at all.
[09:49] Tsubasa (Sister)
    Only small-minded men
    dwell on stuff like that.
[09:55] Chiyo
    Sekine-san! Did you hear that?
[09:57] Sekine
    Y-Yeah...
[10:03] Sekine
    Sorry about yesterday.
[10:06] Rikka
    I'm glad it worked out!
[10:08] Rikka
    Sekine-chan changed her hairstyle
    to make up with you!
[10:12] Tsubasa (Sister)
    Huh?
[10:13] Chiyo
    We gave her a short-hair makeover,
    just the way you like.
[10:17] Chiyo
    It looks good, doesn't it?
[10:19] Sekine
    No, I... I just wanted
    to change things up a bit!
[10:26] Tsubasa (Sister)
    Cute!
[10:28] Sekine
    Huh?
[10:30] Tsubasa (Sister)
    Wow!
[10:32] Tsubasa (Sister)
    All-girls schools are so much fun!
[10:35] Tsuyoshi
    Now I can finally attend
    Chikuin Middle School, my dream!
[10:39] Tsuyoshi
    I'm glad I decided to tell Sis
    we're switching back.
[10:42] Tsuyoshi
    She said she's not in any specific cliques.
[10:45] Tsuyoshi
    I hope I can settle in quickly.
[10:50] Tsuyoshi
    Morning.
[10:54] Boy 4
    H-He talks...
[10:56] Boy 5
    That's the first time I've ever
    heard Camera's voice.
[11:01] Tsuyoshi
    Uh, morning.
[11:03] Boy 6
    Oh, uh, morning...
[11:06] Boy 6
    I didn't know you did greetings.
    I'm surprised.
[11:10] Tsuyoshi
    Huh?
[11:20] Tsuyoshi
    What've you been doing, Sis?!
[11:22] Hanzo
    Tsuyoshi-kun, right?
[11:25] Tsuyoshi
    Um...
[11:26] Hanzo
    I'm Hanzawa, from your class. Naozo Hanzawa.
[11:31] Tsuyoshi
    I'm sorry. We're classmates,
    and I didn't even know your name.
[11:35] Hanzo
    It's fine.
[11:37] Hanzo
    I just transferred in recently,
    so it's only natural you wouldn't know.
[11:43] Hanzo
    May I sit here?
[11:44] Tsuyoshi
    Sure.
[11:47] Hanzo
    I infiltrated this school to learn
    about life outside the clan,
[11:52] Hanzo
    but meeting Chiyo's friend's younger
    brother this way was a stroke of luck.
[11:56] Hanzo
    If I get to know him, perhaps I can learn
    some useful information about Chiyo.
[12:02] Hanzo
    You were sighing earlier, too.
    Are you all right?
[12:06] Tsuyoshi
    Yeah, I guess.
[12:08] Tsuyoshi
    Hanzawa-kun, do you have any siblings?
[12:10] Hanzo
    Yes, an older sister.
[12:13] Tsuyoshi
    Oh, I have a sister, too. We're twins.
[12:16] Tsuyoshi
    She's a real force of nature.
[12:19] Tsuyoshi
    It's exhausting.
[12:21] Hanzo
    I see... I clash with my sister a lot, too.
[12:25] Hanzo
    She's so tough. I still can't beat her,
[12:29] Hanzo
    but one day, I want to get her back.
    Double payback!
[12:32] Tsuyoshi
    Double payback, huh?
    If I even so much as attempted that...
[12:36] Tsubasa (Sister)
    I wonder how much money
    I can make from this photo?
[12:40] Hanzo
    Hey, I know.
[12:42] Hanzo
    Why don't we get together after school
    to air our grievances?
[12:46] Tsuyoshi
    Sure! Let's meet at the new café in front
    of the station and talk over some cakes.
[12:51] Hanzo
    Cakes? Sounds a bit girly, but sure.
[12:55] Tsuyoshi
    Huh?
[12:56] Tsuyoshi
    Oh, right. That's a girl thing.
[13:04] Tsuyoshi
    Sis!
[13:06] Tsuyoshi
    "Not in a specific clique" and "has
    zero friends" are totally different!
[13:11] Tsuyoshi
    I can't believe you don't even say hi
    to your classmates in the morning!
[13:15] Tsubasa (Sister)
    I was attending that school
    to record the beauty of an idol.
[13:19] Tsubasa (Sister)
    Why would I mingle with
    the common riff-raff?
[13:22] Tsuyoshi
    I can't stand how awkward it is.
[13:25] Tsuyoshi
    I did find one person who seemed nice,
[13:29] Tsuyoshi
    but now I wanna go back to the other school.
[13:30] Tsubasa (Sister)
    Whatever.
[13:36] Rikka
    Oh, hey, Tsubasa-chan!
[13:38] Tsubasa
    Morning.
[13:40] Tsubasa
    Oh, having friends is truly wonderful...
[13:43] Rikka
    Hey, um, Tsubasa-chan.
[13:45] Tsubasa
    Yeah? What is it?
[13:46] Rikka
    Um...
[13:47] Rikka
    Before taking someone's photo,
    you should always ask!
[13:51] Rikka
    Everyone in the universe knows that!
[13:57] Tsubasa
    Did she do it here, too?!
[14:00] Tsubasa (Sister)
    Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
SIGN    Blah
SIGN    Blah
SIGN    Blah
SIGN    Blah
SIGN    Blah
SIGN    Blah
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
[14:06] Tsubasa
    Happy birthday, Sekine!
[14:06] Chiyo
    Happy birthday!
[14:06] Rikka
    Happy birthday!
[14:09] Sekine
    Thank you...
[14:11] Chiyo
    Here is your present.
[14:14] Chiyo
    I made a hair ornament that I thought
    might look good on you.
[14:17] Sekine
    Thank you, Chiyo-san.
[14:19] Tsubasa
    I baked muffins. Try some, if you'd like.
[14:22] Sekine
    You made these yourself?
[14:24] Tsubasa
    Yeah. I've gotten hooked
    on making sweets lately.
[14:27] Sekine
    I see. Thank you!
[14:30] Rikka
    I brought you something truly special!
[14:33] Rikka
    Behold!
[14:36] Rikka
    A beautiful daughter!
[14:39] Sekine
    You didn't give up on that plan, Colonel?!
[14:45] Three-year-old
    I drew Mommy!
[14:46] Six-year-old
    I'm in school now!
[14:49] Rikka
    She's crying tears of happiness.
[14:52] Rikka
    This present was a resounding success!
[14:54] Sekine
    Wh-What should I do?
    The child itself is innocent...
[14:59] Sekine
    By the way, who is the father?
[15:02] Rikka
    The father? Hmm...
[15:05] Rikka
    Oh, a ninja!
[15:09] Sekine
    It's Hanzo?!
[15:10] Tsubasa
    A ninja? Where?
[15:12] Rikka
    Look, over there. Huh?
[15:16] Sekine
    Hanzo!
[15:19] Hanzo
    Chiyo's friend's brother had
    little useful information.
[15:23] Hanzo
    I cannot fail again.
[15:26] Hanzo
    When Chiyo steps away
    from her friends, I'll use this...
[15:33] Sekine
    A-Are you dating anyone right now?
[15:38] Hanzo
    Huh? Um, no...
[15:40] Sekine
    I see! So, what do you think?
[15:45] Sekine
    Can we start with a quick
    marriage registration?
[15:47] Hanzo
    Huh?
[15:48] Hanzo
    Uh, that's a little, you know...
[15:50] Sekine
    Yes, of course.
[15:52] Sekine
    How about we exchange D'DINE IDs, then?
[15:56] Sekine
    No, please, I'm not a weirdo!
    It's just, uh...
[15:59] Sekine
    Love at first sight!
[16:00] Hanzo
    In this situation?!
[16:01] Sekine
    Please... For my... I mean,
[16:04] Sekine
    for the sake of our daughter!
[16:07] Chiyo
    What are you doing to my friend, Hanzo?!
[16:10] Hanzo
    I'm the one who's getting done here!
[16:13] Sekine
    Oh, no! Time to play dead!
[16:15] Chiyo
    Sekine-san!
[16:17] Chiyo
    Today will be your last!
[16:25] Hanzo
    Dear sister. You will pay
    for your betrayal of the clan.
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Dear sister. You will pay
     for your betrayal of the clan.
     That said, you should choose
     friends with better morals.
[16:31] Hanzo
    That said, you should choose
    friends with better morals.
[16:35] Chiyo
    Huh?
[16:35] Rikka
    Oh, look, there you all are!
[16:38] Sekine
    Rikka!
[16:39] Rikka
    Sekine-chan, you forgot this!
[16:41] Sekine
    Oh, that's... Hmm?
[16:49] Octopus
    Octo!
[16:50] Sekine
    A space octopus?!
[16:51] Rikka
    It's cute, like a baby!
[16:55] Rikka
    But be careful! Once it attaches itself,
    it won't come off!
[16:58] Sekine
    It wasn't a baby?!
[17:00] Sekine
    I almost married Hanzo!
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
[17:03] Sekine
    The Little Lies We All Tell.
[17:12] Tsubasa
    I'm bored.
[17:14] Hanzo
    Hey, aren't you Tsuyoshi-kun's sister?
[17:17] Tsubasa
    Oh, it's Hanzawa-kun.
[17:21] Hanzo
    How do you know my name?
    We've never met before.
[17:25] Tsubasa
    Oh, um, my brother described you.
[17:30] Hanzo
    I see.
[17:32] Hanzo
    I heard about you from Tsuyoshi-kun, as well.
[17:35] Hanzo
    Sorry to annoy you out of nowhere like this.
[17:39] Tsubasa
    Oh, not at all. I'm just waiting for
    my friends to finish shopping.
[17:45] Tsubasa
    Would you like to sit down?
[17:46] Hanzo
    Sure! Here, have some coffee.
[17:49] Tsubasa
    Thank you.
[17:51] Tsubasa
    What are you doing here, Hanzawa-kun?
[17:54] Hanzo
    I had a little shopping to do myself.
[17:56] Hanzo
    By the way, Tsuyoshi-kun told me
    that you love cute things.
[18:03] Tsubasa
    That's right. I just love
    cute things and hot guys.
[18:07] Tsubasa
    I even dress my brother up
    in cute clothes, sometimes!
[18:10] Hanzo
    I-I see.
[18:12] Hanzo
    I've had similar experiences, too.
[18:15] Tsubasa
    Really?
[18:17] Hanzo
    Yes. My sister has always loved cute things,
[18:21] Hanzo
    and she used to treat me
    like her little sister.
[18:30] (Flashback) Hanzo
    Sister?
[18:31] (Flashback) Chiyo
    I can't put someone so cute at risk!
[18:33] (Flashback) Hanzo
    Sister?!
[18:40] (Flashback) Hanzo
    Sister?
[18:42] (Flashback) Chiyo
    I can't put someone so cute at risk!
[18:44] (Flashback) Hanzo
    Sister?!
[18:50] (Flashback) Hanzo
    Sister?
[18:51] (Flashback) Chiyo
    I can't put someone so cute at risk!
[18:53] (Flashback) Hanzo
    Sister?!
[18:56] (Flashback) Hanzo
    I-Is this...
[18:57] (Flashback) Chiyo
    I made it myself.
[18:59] (Flashback) Chiyo
    I thought someone so cute
    should have an equally cute lunch.
[19:04] (Flashback) Hanzo
    Thank you, dear sister!
[19:10] Hanzo
    My sister protected me. Somewhat overly so.
[19:15] Hanzo
    She was strong and resilient...
    And really cool.
[19:18] Tsubasa
    Wow. I'd like to meet your sister someday.
[19:22] Hanzo
    But now she's like a completely
    different person.
[19:26] Hanzo
    She betrayed her family and
    spends her time on stupid things.
[19:30] Tsubasa
    U-Uh, sounds like trouble.
[19:32] Tsubasa
    But I guess that kind of free-wheeling style
    is similar to our family, in a way.
[19:37] Tsubasa
    Honestly, looking at my sister,
    sometimes I envy her.
[19:43] Tsubasa
    If only I could live the way she does.
[19:47] Tsubasa
    Uh, that's what my brother said.
[19:51] Hanzo
    Envy, huh...
[19:56] Hanzo
    I must admit, sometimes I also feel...
[19:58] Tsubasa
    It's not easy being a little brother.
[20:02] Tsubasa
    Hopefully one day you'll find
    a way to work things out.
[20:06] Tsubasa
    Cheers!
[20:08] Hanzo
    Oh, nothing...
[20:09] Rikka
    I'll have it if you don't want it!
[20:15] Tsubasa
    Hey, guys!
[20:18] Tsubasa
    My friends are here. See ya!
[20:21] Chiyo
    Actually, Tsubasa-san...
[20:24] Chiyo
    I'd like to speak to this person. Alone.
[20:28] Tsubasa
    What? So even Chiyo-san can handle guys,
    if they're hot enough?
[20:35] Chiyo
    Please make sure nobody else is around.
[20:37] Sekine
    R-Right! Let's all go over there!
[20:40] Rikka/Tsubasa
    Okay!
[20:42] Chiyo
    I can't expose my friends
    to any more danger.
[20:47] Chiyo
    Let's end this here and now, Hanzo.
[20:50] Hanzo
    I have no chance against you
    in a head-on fight, dear sister.
[20:55] Hanzo
    That's why I had your friend drink poison.
[20:58] Chiyo
    How dare you!
[21:00] Hanzo
    It should start to take effect
    any minute now.
[21:02] Hanzo
    Without the antidote,
    they'll last two hours, at most.
[21:05] Hanzo
    It's a painful way to die.
[21:08] Hanzo
    Turn yourself in peacefully,
    and I'll give the antidote—
[21:11] Rikka
    Hey.
[21:16] Chiyo
    Rikka-chan, are you all right?!
[21:18] Rikka
    Yep! I'm feeling great!
[21:21] Rikka
    So, um,
[21:23] Rikka
    I wanted to ask you
    where you got this coffee.
[21:27] Narrator
    It turns out the poison
    doesn't work on aliens.
[21:31] Hanzo
    Th-That's...
[21:35] Hanzo
    Hanzo's special blend.
SIGN    Next Episode Preview
SIGN    Day Duty:
     Sekine
[23:09] Rikka
    When your heart gets broken,
    the best way to get over it is to eat a lot.
[23:13] Sekine
    Playing an otome game helps, too.
[23:15] Chiyo
    An otome game?
[23:17] Sekine
    You fall in love with many
    suitable targets...
SIGN    #09: Find Fuku-chan!
[23:19] Sekine
    Then in the end, it swallows you whole!
[23:22] Tsubasa
    You mean a horror game, right...?

E9 - Find Fuku-chan!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Sekine
    Huh? Did I fall asleep?
[00:02] Boys
    That thing yesterday was awesome!
[00:05] Boys
    I know, right? That one thing, right?
[00:07] Boys
    Right, right!
[00:11] Sekine
    Wait, what? What's going on?
[00:19] Sekine
    I've turned into a boy!
SIGN    Class 2-B
    Air Band
SIGN    The
SIGN    Lit
SIGN    tle
SIGN    Lies
SIGN    We
SIGN    All
SIGN    Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    Rikka
SIGN    Colonel
SIGN    Chiyo-san
SIGN    Chiyo-san
SIGN    Ninja
SIGN    Sekine
SIGN    Psychic
SIGN    Tsubasa
SIGN    Tsuyoshi
SIGN    Boy
SIGN    Note:
     Is Sekine
SIGN    Maskuma Mask
SIGN    Class 2-B
    Air Band
SIGN    Poeh
SIGN    #09: Find Fuku-chan!
SIGN    #09: Find Fuku-chan!
SIGN    #09: Find Fuku-chan!
SIGN    #09: Find Fuku-chan!
SIGN    #09: Find Fuku-chan!
SIGN    #09: Find Fuku-chan!
SIGN    #09: Find Fuku-chan!
SIGN    #09: Find Fuku-chan!
SIGN    #09: Find Fuku-chan!
SIGN    #09: Find Fuku-chan!
SIGN    #09: Find Fuku-chan!
SIGN    #09: Find Fuku-chan!
[02:01] Chiyo
    Finished!
[02:03] Chiyo
    Tsubasa-san, your hair is so pretty!
[02:07] Chiyo
    You have the shiniest cuticles!
[02:09] Tsubasa
    Um, thanks.
[02:11] Sekine
    It's gotta be that androgynous appeal
    of yours that makes you so popular.
[02:16] Tsubasa
    Androgynous...
[02:18] Sekine
    You know, "The Prince of
    the All-Girls' School" trope.
[02:21] Rikka
    So handsome!
[02:22] Chiyo
    N-No! Tsubasa-san is a cute, pretty girl!
[02:33] Rikka
    Miss Tsubasa must want to be a princess, too.
[02:38] Rikka
    I know! I'll keep Miss Tsubasa as a girl
SIGN    Greatest in the Galaxy
SIGN    Wicked
SIGN    Girly
SIGN    Super Princess
[02:41] Rikka
    and transform everyone else into boys.
[02:45] Sekine
    You mean, you want to make Tsubasa
    a princess in a hot boy harem?
SIGN    Not bad
[02:50] Rikka
    All right! Let's make that dream come true!
SIGN    Katsu!!
[02:54] Rikka
    Katsu!
[02:58] Sekine
    Swirl...
SIGN    Swirl...
[03:01] Sekine
    That's right.
[03:02] Chiyomaru
    Sekine-kun.
[03:05] Chiyomaru
    You should get changed, already.
[03:07] Sekine (Boy)
    U-Um...
[03:10] Sekine (Boy)
    Who are you?
[03:11] Chiyomaru
    What do you mean? I'm Chiyomaru.
[03:15] Sekine (Boy)
    Chiyomaru...?
[03:19] Sekine (Boy)
    Oh!
[03:20] Sekine (Boy)
    Chiyo-san!
[03:22] Chiyomaru
    It's Chiyomaru.
[03:23] Sekine (Boy)
    I just remembered something I gotta do!
[03:28] Sekine (Boy)
    Rikka! Where are you?!
SIGN    Lucky Perv
SIGN    Blank...
[03:41] Narrator
    Lucky perv.
[03:43] Sekine (Boy)
    Um, Tsubasa?
[03:47] Tsuyoshi (Girl)
    It's meant to be a secret, but I'm here
    in place of my older brother, Tsuyoshi.
SIGN    Keep the locker
     room clean.
[03:51] Tsuyoshi (Girl)
    So, please call me Tsuyoshi.
[03:53] Sekine (Boy)
    Huh, I see.
[03:55] Sekine
    This is what it means
    to make Tsubasa a princess?
[03:58] Sekine
    I have to admit, it's a bit interesting.
[04:00] Sekine
    And I'm a guy...
[04:02] Sekine
    I should take advantage of this opportunity
    to try things that only guys can do.
[04:07] Sekine (Boy)
    Tsuyoshi, I have a favor to ask.
[04:09] Tsuyoshi (Girl)
    What is it?
[04:11] Sekine (Boy)
    Please let me do it.
SIGN    Nurse's Office
[04:17] Sekine (Boy)
    Did you have to hit me?
[04:19] Tsuyoshi (Girl)
    Sorry, but you share the blame here.
[04:24] Sekine (Boy)
    Oh, I'm bleeding. I knew it.
[04:27] Tsuyoshi (Girl)
    H-He's handsome!
[04:29] Sekine (Boy)
    You can make up for it by buying me lunch
    at the cafeteria later.
[04:34] Tsuyoshi (Girl)
    I guess we could kiss or something.
    I do feel sorry about hitting you.
[04:38] Sekine (Boy)
    Nah, I can always do that as a girl.
[04:43] Tsuyoshi (Girl)
    That aside, Sekine... You're going
    to be late for the Barfathon.
[04:46] Sekine (Boy)
    Barfathon? What's that?
[04:49] Tsuyoshi (Girl)
    Did I hit you in the wrong place?
[04:51] Tsuyoshi (Girl)
    Remember? Today's the day of
    the annual "Loincloth Walking Race."
[04:56] Narrator
    A race where contestants walk, clad only in
    loincloths, all the way to Gunma Prefecture!
[05:00] Narrator
    Due to the high number of people who
    throw up, it has the nickname "Barfathon."
[05:04] Narrator
    Yes, this is a middle school event.
[05:07] Sekine
    That's way too hardcore.
[05:10] Sekine
    But given my injury,
    I should be able to opt out.
[05:13] Chiyomaru
    Sekine-kun, have you seen Rikkard-kun?
[05:17] Rikka
    I'm right here!
[05:21] Sekine
    The Colonel is still a girl?
[05:24] Chiyomaru
    Rikkard-kun...
[05:26] Rikka
    Who is this handsome boy?
[05:28] Chiyo
    Rikka-chan!
[05:29] Rikka
    Is it Chiyo...
[05:31] Rikka
    san...
[05:33] Chiyomaru
    What is that outfit you're wearing?
[05:36] Chiyomaru
    How many times do I have to tell you?!
[05:38] Chiyomaru
    I hate guys who aren't manly!
[05:41] Chiyomaru
    What are these? Hair extensions?
[05:43] Chiyomaru
    Is this your real hair?
[05:44] Rikka
    Ow, ow...
[05:46] Chiyomaru
    Tsuyoshi, the clippers.
[05:48] Tsuyoshi (Girl)
    Here.
[05:51] Chiyomaru
    Rikkard, I'm shaving your head.
[05:56] Rikka
    I'd prefer you didn't—
[06:02] Chiyomaru
    Did I just hear something?
[06:04] Rikka
    Nothing at all!
[06:06] Sekine
    I see...
SIGN    Maidenly Chiyo
[06:07] Sekine
    Chiyo-san is very girly.
SIGN    Tough Guy Chiyomaru
[06:10] Sekine
    But as a boy, she's the opposite.
[06:14] Sekine
    Tsubasa is...
[06:16] Sekine
    somehow cuter.
[06:19] Sekine
    Is it because of her princess position?
[06:23] Sekine (Boy)
    Tsuyoshi, what are you going
    to do about the Barfathon?
[06:26] Tsuyoshi (Girl)
    I'm opting out, of course.
    I can't do it for many reasons.
[06:29] Sekine (Boy)
    I see. I guess I'll opt out, as well.
[06:32] Tsuyoshi (Girl)
    What are you talking about?
[06:34] Tsuyoshi (Girl)
    You need a signed document from your
    legal guardian to opt out. You know that.
SIGN    Huh
[06:43] Sekine (Boy)
    Huh?
[06:57] Chiyomaru
    We'll continue this after the Barfathon.
[07:00] Chiyomaru
    Hurry up and get ready.
    You don't want to be late.
[07:03] Sekine (Boy)
    Look! My head is busted open!
    There's so much blood!
[07:07] Tsuyoshi (Girl)
    You can't go home sick unless
    you have a fever or something.
[07:09] Sekine (Boy)
    What?!
[07:11] Chiyomaru
    Are you trying to commit truancy?
[07:12] Sekine (Boy)
    Never!
[07:15] Sekine (Boy)
    I'm cold! It hurts!
    I don't wanna do this anymore!
[07:18] Sekine (Boy)
    What kind of event is this?!
    It's ridiculous! Unbelievable!
[07:23] Chiyomaru
    Sekine-kun, did you just say something?
[07:25] Sekine (Boy)
    I love the Barfathon! Gung ho!
[07:28] Tsuyoshi (Girl)
    Sekine.
[07:31] Tsuyoshi (Girl)
    Just give up and accept it.
[07:33] Sekine
    Not fair!
[07:34] Chiyomaru
    Let's follow Rikkard-kun's lead
    and do our best!
[07:41] Rikka
    I'm glad I included "UFO travel counts
    as walking" in the brainwashing program.
[07:45] Rikka
    One quick hop to Gunma!
[07:47] Sekine
    Why did you include
    the Barfathon in the first place?!
[07:56] Rikka
    Goal!
[07:56] Rikka
    Goal, goal, goal, goal, goal!
[08:08] Rikka
    It seems I've tried a little too hard.
[08:11] Narrator
    The space alien wins!
[08:20] Rikka
    Almost there!
[08:23] Sekine (Boy)
    Ugh, so tough... I'm spent...
[08:25] Tsuyoshi (Girl)
    Fight on, Sekine.
[08:27] Chiyomaru
    The goal is right there. Fight on!
[08:30] Rikka
    You all did so well!
[08:33] Tsuyoshi (Girl)
    You got first place again! Awesome!
[08:35] Chiyomaru
    You did great, Rikkard-kun.
    I knew you could do it.
[08:42] Chiyomaru
    Now, let's pick up where we left off.
[08:44] Chiyomaru
    I hope you're ready.
[08:49] Rikka
    I'm sorry, Miss Tsubasa!
    I can't take any more!
[08:52] Rikka
    Katsu!
[09:01] Rikka
    Where...
[09:03] Sekine
    ...are we?
[09:04] Tsubasa
    Hey, you two.
[09:06] Tsubasa
    You're going to be late.
[09:09] Rikka
    Late for the Barfathon?!
[09:11] Sekine
    I have no idea what you're
    talking about, ma'am!
[09:13] Tsubasa
    The tea party, of course.
[09:15] Tsubasa
    Did you hit your head or something?
    It's an annual event.
[09:20] Chiyo
    I baked some sweets.
[09:23] Rikka
    A tea party!
[09:24] Sekine
    How elegant!
[09:27] Rikka & Sekine
    All-girls schools are the best!
[09:31] Rikka
    Flowers are beautiful
    because they're destined to fall.
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
[09:34] Sekine
    Oh, no.
[09:48] Sekine
    I'm broke this month, as always.
[09:51] Hot guy
    Maybe what you're really concerned about
[09:54] Hot guy
    is the fact that your family
    won't come back.
[09:59] Narrator
    A hot guy in an all-girls middle school?!
[10:01] Narrator
    Sir, did you wander into the wrong show?
[10:05] Sekine
    Who are you?
[10:10] Hot guy
    I can't talk about that here.
[10:19] Hot guy
    Come see me behind the gym tomorrow.
[10:25] Hot guy
    I'll reveal everything to you then.
[10:28] Sekine
    Why does it have to be out there?
[10:30] Hot guy
    What? It's only natural to want to see
    cute girls away from other people.
[10:35] Hot guy
    Let's meet alone.
[10:37] Sekine
    Stop kidding around!
[10:40] Hot guy
    You're cute when you're angry, as well.
[10:46] Hot guy
    Don't be so cautious.
[10:48] Hot guy
    I know you're always working very hard.
[10:56] Hot guy
    Oh, by the way.
[10:59] Hot guy
    Take off your glasses. You're cuter that way.
[11:05] Hot guy
    See you.
[11:09] Sekine
    What was that?
[11:15] Sekine
    Was that a teacher from a
    different grade or something?
[11:19] Sekine
    I don't recognize him, though.
[11:25] Tsubasa
    You look down. Is everything okay?
[11:29] Rikka
    No, it's not. My pet ran away.
[11:34] Chiyo
    Oh, dear.
[11:35] Rikka
    Where could you have gone?
[11:41] (Flashback) Rikka
    A cute animal, here?!
[11:45] (Flashback) Rikka
    Let's help each other to survive
    here on this planet, my comrade.
[11:59] (Flashback) Rikka
    Don't just start running. It's dangerous.
[12:01] (Flashback) Rikka
    Hey!
[12:02] Narrator
    And he just ran off like that.
[12:06] Rikka
    Fuku-chan...
[12:08] Sekine
    What kind of name is that?
[12:10] Rikka
    Lost on a foreign planet...
    He must be so lonely.
[12:15] Rikka
    No, he's fine!
[12:17] Rikka
    Fuku-chan has the ability to embed
    spores into a target's brain
[12:22] Rikka
    to show them an illusion
    of the target's ideal partner!
[12:30] Rikka
    He'll certainly be popular
    on this planet, as well!
[12:41] Sekine
    Spores...?
[12:44] Sekine
    Wait, so that guy earlier was an illusion
    shown to me by the Colonel's pet?
SIGN    Just the right amount
    of aggressiveness
SIGN    Understands family issues
SIGN    Ideal age difference
SIGN    Beauty mark
    beside mouth
SIGN    Squee!
     (Translation: You like guys
     like this, don't you?)
[12:50] Sekine
    So that's my ideal partner...
SIGN    Aaaaaaaaaaa...
[12:58] Narrator
    She can't come to terms
    with her maidenly desires.
[13:01] Sekine
    Tsubasa...
[13:03] Tsubasa
    What?
[13:05] Sekine
    I'm sorry I called you a pierced
    female animal the other day.
[13:09] Narrator
    She has regrets.
[13:10] Tsubasa
    It's all right.
[13:13] Tsubasa
    But in that case, can I ask you for a favor?
[13:16] Sekine
    What is it?
[13:17] Tsubasa
    Well, there's this person I'm seeing.
[13:23] Sekine
    I thought this was about a favor?
[13:27] Sekine
    Wait, you have a boyfriend?
[13:29] Tsubasa
    No, it's not like that.
[13:33] Tsubasa
    Umm...
[13:36] Tsubasa
    We just started talking at the convenience
    store yesterday, and we got along so well.
[13:41] Tsubasa
    And...
[13:45] Tsubasa
    I got invited to meet up, just the two of us!
[13:52] Sekine
    Don't tell me,
    on the back of Tsubasa's head...
[13:55] Tsubasa
    I was like, wow, how can
    someone so nice exist in reality?
[14:00] Sekine
    Move your hand!
[14:02] Tsubasa
    I totally feel, like, this is destiny.
[14:06] Sekine
    Ugh, how stubborn...
[14:09] Tsubasa
    What are you doing, Sekine?
    You're being weird.
[14:15] Narrator
    He's basically a breeding ground.
[14:17] Sekine
    Tsubasa, I think that person
    is on a different plane of existence.
[14:24] Sekine
    Or rather, not plane, but... planet?
[14:28] Tsubasa
    I mean, it did cross my mind a little.
[14:31] Tsubasa
    There's a bit of an age gap.
    It might not work out.
[14:34] Woman
    Tsuyoshi-kun!
[14:35] Sekine
    But that romance will only hurt y—
[14:38] Rikka
    Not necessarily!
[14:40] Rikka
    No matter how it ends,
    romance adds color to a dull life!
[14:45] Sekine
    Colonel, just shut up for a second.
[14:48] Sekine
    Oh, wait. Tsubasa does tend to become
    super stupid when men get involved.
[14:52] Sekine
    Maybe this is a good time for her
    to experience a heartbreak of her own?
[14:56] Tsubasa
    What is it?
[14:59] Rikka
    Life is short, so fall in love, girls.
[15:03] Rikka
    Fuku-chan, even if you never come back,
SIGN    Win-Win Relationship
SIGN    Win-Win Relationship
[15:06] Tsubasa
    A win-win relationship!
[15:06] Rikka
    I hope you can live a happy life with
    a partner of your own on this planet.
[15:10] Rikka
    But...
[15:11] Rikka
    But that's a dream that can never come true.
[15:15] Sekine
    Uh-oh. Sounds bad.
[15:16] Rikka
    Fuku-chan uses illusions to lure in prey,
    and then, while the victim is enraptured,
[15:22] Rikka
    eats them and converts them into nutrients.
[15:28] Tsubasa
    So, I got invited to a sleepover tonight.
[15:33] Sekine
    Don't!
[15:34] Chiyo
    Please, no!
[15:37] Chiyo
    Tsubasa-san, you can't sleep over
    at a stranger's house!
[15:42] Tsubasa
    It's fine!
[15:44] Tsubasa
    So, Sekine, can you just say
    I was at your house?
[15:49] Sekine
    Tsubasa...
[15:51] Sekine
    I'm going to be direct.
[15:56] Sekine
    If you get eaten tonight,
    will you regret it then?
[15:58] Tsubasa
    That's too direct, Sekine!
SIGN    Eek!
SIGN    Eek!
[16:01] Tsubasa
    Aw, jeez, you're such a prude!
[16:03] Sekine
    Well, I guess she's dying tonight.
[16:07] Sekine
    No, this is where I have to draw the line.
[16:10] Sekine
    But how do I put a stop to this?
[16:16] Narrator
    Pipi-de-pop-de-poo.
[16:20] Sekine
    She must have spores on her.
[16:22] Sekine
    I wonder if removing them would do it.
[16:24] Sekine
    Ah.
[16:26] Sekine
    This is one of those things where
    I have to take care of Fuku-chan,
[16:29] Sekine
    or else more will fall prey.
[16:31] Tsubasa
    Are you all right, Sekine?
[16:38] Sekine
    Sorry, Tsubasa. You're going to be bait.
[16:47] Sekine
    Is Fuku-chan coming?
[16:51] Sekine
    Oh, it's Chiyo-san.
[16:53] Chiyo
    I'm a bit scared, but I'll tell
    that god-knows-who what's what!
[16:59] Chiyo
    You must arrange a meeting between
    both families before anything else!
SIGN    God-knows-who
SIGN    Wahh
SIGN    Rawr
[17:02] God-knows-who
    Y-Yes!
[17:05] Chiyo
    I've trained for this, in my mind!
[17:09] Chiyo
    Here he is!
[17:17] Sekine
    Isn't that the guy that talked to me? Why?
[17:30] Narrator
    There were more.
[17:35] Sekine
    Huh?
[17:37] Sekine
    Where'd he go?
[17:39] Sekine
    The only explanation for
    this bizarre situation...
[17:42] Sekine
    is that Fuku-chan must be there!
[17:47] Sleazy guy
    Come on, baby.
    Let's spend a hot night together.
[17:52] Chiyo
    Tsubasa-san, is this your type?
[17:57] Chiyo
    I must regretfully decline...
[18:00] Sekine
    Maybe Chiyo-san is seeing her ideal partner?
[18:05] Sekine
    But why does she seem troubled?
[18:08] Sekine
    Why isn't she liking it?
[18:09] Chiyo
    Um, are you Tsubasa-san's f-friend?
[18:15] Narrator
    Her art turned to shit due to stress.
[18:17] Sekine
    What should I do? I can't help her
    if I can't see anything.
[18:21] Sekine
    If only I had some sort of special power...
[18:24] Sekine
    Wait, I do!
[18:26] Narrator
    Mistress Time:
[18:28] Narrator
    Sekine gains the ability
    to completely control her powers.
[18:33] Sekine
    But if I use it...
[18:36] Sekine
    No, I have to save my friends!
[18:41] Sekine
    Sekine Eye!
[18:44] Narrator
    Allow me to explain!
[18:46] Narrator
    Sekine is seeing what Chiyo is seeing!
[18:52] Sekine
    That must be Fuku-chan, I guess.
[18:55] Sekine
    I'm glad I sacrificed my belly for this.
[18:58] Sekine
    But seriously, that's like,
    a sleazy dude from an adult manga.
[19:03] Sekine
    Is that Chiyo-san's type?
[19:07] Sleazy guy
    Ah, I get it. Okay, okay.
[19:09] Sleazy guy
    You're Tsuba-chan's friend, huh?
[19:12] Sleazy guy
    You're, like, so much more my type
    than her, you know.
[19:17] Chiyo
    Please stay away from Tsubasa-san...
[19:21] Chiyo
    P-Please...
[19:26] Sleazy guy
    In that case, how 'bout ya keep me company
    instead of Tsuba-chan?
[19:31] Sekine
    What's going on?
[19:33] Sekine
    Could it be that...
SIGN    No chance to procreate!
[19:35] Sekine
    Fuku-chan doesn't necessarily
    show you your ideal partner,
[19:39] Sekine
    but just shows whatever illusion has the
    best chance of resulting in procreation?
SIGN    Slight chance
    to procreate!
[19:45] Chiyo
    Will you promise never
    to see Tsubasa-san again?
[19:47] Sleazy guy
    You got it, toots!
[19:51] Chiyo
    Understood...
[19:53] Chiyo
    Let's just kill him.
[19:54] Sekine
    Guess that figures.
[19:57] Chiyo
    But I vowed to never take a life...
[20:01] Chiyo
    Will I go the way of the demon?
[20:03] Sleazy guy
    Come on, let's go.
[20:05] Sleazy guy
    Let's get it on alone!
[20:07] Chiyo
    I'm scared!
[20:09] Narrator
    Of her own killer instinct.
[20:11] Sekine
    Chiyo-san!
[20:13] Rikka
    That won't do.
[20:16] Rikka
    You're a naughty one.
[20:20] Sekine
    You're awesome, Colonel!
    Though it was your fault to begin with!
[20:24] Chiyo
    Oh, where did that man go?
[20:26] Rikka
    I called the authorities!
    He probably ran off.
[20:30] Rikka
    But who would have thought he would actually
    try to procreate using Earthlings...
[20:42] Tsubasa
    Huh? What are you all doing here?
[20:46] Rikka
    There's no other way.
[20:49] Rikka
    Exterminate!
[20:56] Tsubasa
    What is this?!
[21:04] Rikka
    Good!
[21:08] Tsubasa
    What is?
SIGN    Inaseya Supermarket
SIGN    Fresh!!
SIGN    Fresh!!
SIGN    Super Sale!! Mushroom Festival
SIGN    Super Sale!! Mushroom Festival
SIGN    Niigata Produce
SIGN    King Trumpet Mushrooms
SIGN    78 yen per pack (82 yen with tax)
SIGN    Niigata Produce
SIGN    King Trumpet Mushrooms
SIGN    78 yen per pack (82 yen with tax)
[21:16] Hot guy 1
    You're cute.
[21:18] Hot guy 2
    I'll save you.
[21:22] Hot guy 3
    I missed you.
SIGN    Vegetables & Fruits
[21:24] Hot guy 4
    Are you all right?
[21:26] Hot guy 5
    I will care for you.
[21:27] Narrator
    An aftereffect of the spores is that king
    trumpet mushrooms look like hot guys to her.
[21:29] Hot guy 6
    You're so fine as always.
SIGN    Inaseya Supermarket
[21:32] Hot guy
    I love you.
[21:33] Narrator
    It went away after a while.
[21:36] Hot guy
    Bye-bye.
SIGN    Next Episode Preview
SIGN    Day Duty:
     Sekine
[23:09] Chiyo
    The hot-springs resort trip! I can't wait!
[23:12] Sekine
    Hot-spring boiled eggs and steamed buns!
[23:14] Rikka
    I want to wear a yukata, go to the
    shooting gallery, and play table tennis!
[23:17] Sekine
    Tsubasa, why aren't you excited?
[23:19] Tsubasa
    I totally am excited!
SIGN    #10: Atami
[23:20] Tsubasa
    I'm going to get shiny, smooth skin
    at the skin-beautifying hot spring!

E10 - Atami

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Sekine
    Hello. I'm Sekine, D-Class Psychic.
[00:05] Sekine
    My powers let me occasionally hear other
    people's thoughts, and that's about it!
[00:08] Shopkeeper
    We only need one more...
    Why aren't we getting any customers?
[00:12] Sekine
    I just want to help others,
    if only a little bit.
[00:18] Shopkeeper
    Congratulations!
    You are our 1,000th customer!
[00:22] Sekine
    But if I abuse my powers for personal gain...
SIGN    Congratulations
[00:26] Shopkeeper
    Please, enjoy this fabulous prize!
SIGN    Congratulations
[00:29] Sekine
    The Organization will come after me!
SIGN    Class 2-B
    Air Band
SIGN    The
SIGN    Lit
SIGN    tle
SIGN    Lies
SIGN    We
SIGN    All
SIGN    Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    Rikka
SIGN    Colonel
SIGN    Chiyo-san
SIGN    Chiyo-san
SIGN    Ninja
SIGN    Sekine
SIGN    Psychic
SIGN    Tsubasa
SIGN    Tsuyoshi
SIGN    Boy
SIGN    Note:
     Is Sekine
SIGN    Maskuma Mask
SIGN    Class 2-B
    Air Band
SIGN    Poeh
SIGN    Congratulations
SIGN    #10: Atami
SIGN    #10: Atami
SIGN    #10: Atami
SIGN    #10: Atami
SIGN    #10: Atami
SIGN    #10: Atami
SIGN    #10: Atami
SIGN    #10: Atami
SIGN    #10: Atami
SIGN    #10: Atami
SIGN    #10: Atami
SIGN    #10: Atami
[02:03] Sekine
    Who wants tickets...
[02:06] Sekine
    to the amusement park?!
[02:07] Students
    Me! Me! Me!
[02:09] Narrator
    And the tickets ended up in Rikka's hands.
[02:13] Rikka
    Chiyo-san, um...
[02:15] Rikka
    Would you like to go with me?
[02:16] Chiyo
    Yes, I would love to.
[02:19] Tsubasa
    Are you sure you don't want to go, Sekine?
[02:22] Sekine
    Yep. As class rep, I want to do
    things for the rest of you.
[02:27] Chiyo
    Sekine-san, you're so wonderful!
[02:30] Sekine
    I really want to go, though!
[02:33] Rikka
    An amusement park... How exciting.
[02:36] Rikka
    Come to think of it, I spent my youth
    undergoing elite training as a pilot.
[02:44] Rikka
    I never had the chance
    to experience playing as a child.
[02:56] Rikka
    No! My thoughts almost betrayed
    the spirit of the revolution!
[03:05] Rikka
    An amusement park, huh...
[03:08] Tsubasa
    Rikka looks really happy.
[03:10] Tsubasa
    Is she that excited about
    going to an amusement park?
[03:15] Rikka
    But what should I wear?
[03:19] Rikka
    Chiyo-san is so fashionable.
    I need to make sure I don't embarrass her.
[03:23] Rikka
    School uniform... Too ordinary.
[03:27] Rikka
    Military uniform... Too dull.
[03:30] Rikka
    This is it! The only remaining choice!
SIGN    Members: 4
SIGN    Check out my fancy amusement park outfit!
[03:40] Rikka
    Check out my fancy outfit
    for the amusement park!
[03:45] Tsubasa
    Rikka's fashion sense...
[03:48] Tsubasa
    Walking next to someone wearing this
    would be like some kind of punishment!
[03:52] Tsubasa
    What can I even say in response?
[03:54] Tsubasa
    Oh, well. I'm sure Chiyo-san will stop her.
SIGN    Members: 4
SIGN    That is so very cute!
SIGN    Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like
[03:58] Chiyo
    Like! Like! Like! Like!
[04:02] Chiyo
    Rikka-chan.
[04:03] Rikka
    Chiyo-san.
[04:03] Tsubasa
    Overwhelming approval?!
[04:04] Chiyo
    Rikka-chan.
[04:05] Rikka
    Chiyo-san.
SIGN    He recommended a better outfit later.
SIGN    He recommended a better outfit later.
[04:06] Chiyo
    Rikka-chan.
[04:06] Narrator
    He recommended a better outfit later.
[04:08] Rikka
    Chiyo-san.
SIGN    Sunday
[04:11] Tsuyoshi
    The weather sure is nice today.
[04:13] Tsuyoshi
    I hope they're having fun.
[04:17] Chiyo
    Tsubasa-san, nice timing.
[04:20] Tsuyoshi
    Ch-Chiyo-san? What's the red stuff?!
[04:24] Chiyo
    A powerful foe—
[04:26] Chiyo
    I mean, an urgent matter came up.
[04:28] Chiyo
    Please tell Rikka-chan I can't make it!
[04:31] Chiyo
    Farewell!
[04:34] Tsuyoshi
    "Farewell"?
[04:37] Tsuyoshi
    That was a lot of paint on Chiyo-san.
[04:40] Tsuyoshi
    I should call Rikka...
[04:42] Tsuyoshi
    but she's not picking up.
[04:45] Tsuyoshi
    I guess I'll have to go there myself.
[04:47] Tsuyoshi
    But I should change into my uniform first...
[04:50] Tsuyoshi
    Or actually, maybe I can go like this.
[04:52] Tsuyoshi
    Chiyo-san knew who I was right away.
[04:55] Tsuyoshi
    Wait... Does that mean...
[04:58] Tsuyoshi
    I look like a girl,
    even without feminine clothing?
[05:02] Tsuyoshi
    No...
[05:03] Narrator
    A sobering realization.
[05:11] Rikka
    It's not like Chiyo-san to be late like this.
[05:14] Rikka
    I hope she didn't get in
    an accident or something.
[05:18] Rikka
    Maybe there's some important reason
    she can't make it.
[05:21] Rikka
    No matter!
[05:23] Rikka
    After all, my comrades in space
    are out there fighting, even now.
[05:29] Rikka
    It was selfish of me to try to enjoy myself.
[05:33] Tsuyoshi
    R-Rikka!
[05:37] Rikka
    What are you doing here, Tsubasa-chan?
[05:40] Tsuyoshi
    Well, I...
[05:41] Inoue
    Tsuyoshi!
[05:42] Tsuyoshi
    I-Inoue?!
[05:44] Inoue
    Is this girl a relative of yours?
[05:45] Tsuyoshi
    Oh, um...
[05:47] Inoue's Friend
    Inoue!
[05:48] Inoue
    Oh, my friend's here. See ya!
[05:55] Tsuyoshi
    I'm Tsubasa...'s twin brother Tsuyoshi.
[05:59] Rikka
    They can't look any more similar!
[06:02] Narrator
    She is correct.
[06:04] Tsuyoshi
    Um...
[06:05] Tsuyoshi
    Chiyo-san couldn't make it,
    due to important reasons.
SIGN    Reasons
[06:08] Tsuyoshi
    My sister was supposed to come instead,
SIGN    Inoue
[06:12] Tsuyoshi
    but that didn't work out either...
[06:14] Rikka
    I understand. Thank you very much.
[06:19] Rikka
    It wouldn't make sense for me
    to hang out here alone, so I'll go home now.
[06:26] Tsuyoshi
    Um!
[06:28] Tsuyoshi
    Would it be all right
    if I went with you, instead?
[06:34] Rikka
    Excuse me... What do
    you think we should ride?
SIGN    Come again soon
[06:38] Tsuyoshi
    You don't have to talk so politely to me.
[06:40] Rikka
    Ah. Yes.
[06:47] Tsuyoshi
    Let's go on a ride you like.
[06:49] Rikka
    Anything's fine with me.
[06:59] Tsuyoshi
    What should we ride next?
[07:00] Rikka
    I wonder what? I can't wait.
[07:06] Tsuyoshi & Rikka
    The unfun atmosphere is real.
[07:09] Tsuyoshi
    A-Amusement parks are
    supposed to be fun, right?
[07:14] Rikka
    I miss Chiyo-san.
[07:16] Tsuyoshi
    Oh, look, a merry-go-round. Wanna ride that?
[07:20] Rikka
    Uh...
[07:21] Rikka
    If that is what you want,
    I have no objections, my friend.
[07:25] Tsuyoshi
    Huh?
[07:26] Narrator
    The Colonel is stressed.
[07:28] Tsuyoshi
    What is that "I'm only letting you do it
    because you really want to" tone?
[07:35] Tsuyoshi
    Wow, I love the merry-go-round!
[07:40] Rikka
    This boy is accompanying me out of kindness.
[07:44] Rikka
    I should do my best to stand by his side.
[07:46] Rikka
    Let's get in line.
[07:49] Rikka
    You like these, don't you?
[07:52] Tsuyoshi
    "You like these, don't you"?
[07:55] Tsuyoshi
    I actually like rides
    you can scream your heart out on!
[07:59] Rikka
    Rides you can scream on? You mean...
[08:15] Tsuyoshi & Rikka
    This might actually be fun!
[08:25] Narrator
    Meanwhile, Chiyo...
[08:27] Chiyo
    Secret technique...
[08:28] Chiyo
    Rolling Coaster!
[08:33] Narrator
    Meanwhile, Sekine...
[08:35] Sekine
    I didn't use my abilities for personal gain!
[08:42] Tsuyoshi
    This is the last place
    we haven't been to yet.
[08:44] Rikka
    Looks boring.
[08:46] Man
    Let's go inside.
[08:48] Woman
    Oh, but I'm scared!
[08:50] Man
    Okay, let's not.
[08:51] Rikka
    I see. So that's how one
    gets out of having to go in.
[08:57] Rikka
    I'm so scared!
[08:59] Rikka
    I'm too scared to go in!
[09:03] Rikka
    Glance.
[09:05] Tsuyoshi
    What's with this sudden cutesy behavior?
[09:07] Tsuyoshi
    Didn't she say, before...
[09:09] (Flashback) Chiyo
    I want to go see that guardian spirit
    fortune teller again.
[09:13] (Flashback) Tsubasa
    Sorry, I don't really believe in ghosts
    and the afterlife and stuff.
[09:17] (Flashback) Rikka
    Same here.
[09:19] (Flashback) Rikka
    When we die, we all just
    end up as space dust.
[09:24] Tsuyoshi
    Wasn't that her stance?!
[09:26] Rikka
    I'm so scared! I'm so scared!
[09:28] Tsuyoshi
    What to do... Wait, if Chiyo-san was here...
[09:33] Chiyo
    Eek! No!
[09:35] Rikka
    I'm scared!
[09:35] Tsuyoshi
    Ah, so it's a girl thing where
    she just wants to get excited.
[09:40] Tsuyoshi
    Got it!
[09:42] Rikka
    We ended up going in.
[09:52] Tsuyoshi
    I'm scared!
[09:54] Narrator
    He tries his best to raise the excitement...
[09:57] Rikka
    What's so shocking about any of this?
[09:59] Narrator
    ...unsuccessfully.
[10:04] Tsuyoshi
    Huh? A cold breeze...
[10:09] Rikka
    Wait, this sensation...
[10:12] Tsuyoshi
    Huh? The theme here is supposed
    to be "ruined hospital."
[10:16] Tsuyoshi
    So why is there a fallen samurai?
[10:18] Tsuyoshi
    Come to think of it, this place used to
    be an ancient battleground,
[10:21] Tsuyoshi
    and many accidents happened during
    the construction of this amusement park...
[10:25] Narrator
    It's the real deal.
[10:29] Rikka
    There is no physical entity there,
    but I still feel its energy.
[10:32] Rikka
    Wait! Could that be...
[10:35] Rikka
    An extremely rare
    Powpyopipoppyopyopapyopuian?!
[10:41] Rikka
    Ouch!
[10:41] Tsuyoshi
    Yikes!
[10:45] Tsuyoshi
    Eek! Run!
[10:49] Tsuyoshi
    Wow, a dead samurai...
[10:51] Rikka
    Yes! A super-rare
    Powpyopipoppyopyopapyopuian!
[10:55] Tsuyoshi
    A Powpyopipoppyopyopapyopuian...?
[10:58] Rikka
    Who would have imagined I'd meet a real
    Powpyopipoppyopyopapyopuian here...
[11:02] Rikka
    What a surprise!
[11:07] Rikka
    I got excited and said too much!
[11:10] Rikka
    N-Never mind. It must have been
    a fallen samurai alien!
[11:20] Rikka
    How pretty!
[11:24] Rikka
    This is the first time I've been
    to an amusement park.
[11:27] Tsuyoshi
    Oh?
[11:29] Tsuyoshi
    Wait, what?! You've never been to one before?
[11:33] Rikka
    So um... Thanks for coming along.
[11:38] Tsuyoshi
    R-Right. I'm just glad I was able to help.
[11:42] Tsuyoshi
    I mean, I did want to thank you
    for being so good to my sister.
[11:46] Rikka
    I'm the one who should be thankful!
[11:47] Rikka
    Tsubasa-chan's always so
    cool-headed and reliable.
[11:50] Rikka
    She's always helping me out.
[11:54] Tsuyoshi
    So that's how she sees me...
[11:58] Tsuyoshi
    Tsubasa also told me that you're
    a hard worker and a great friend.
[12:11] Rikka
    You have my gratitude.
SIGN    Thump
SIGN    Thump
[12:12] Tsuyoshi
    Thump!
[12:14] Tsuyoshi
    She's so cool when she's being bashful!
[12:17] Narrator
    He is moved by Colonel Rikka.
[12:20] Chiyo
    Rikka-chan, I'm so, so sorry!
[12:24] Rikka
    It's fine. Tsubasa-chan's brother,
    Tsuyoshi-kun, hung out with me.
[12:29] Chiyo & Sekine
    What?!
[12:30] Tsuyoshi
    Yeah, I had to take care of something,
    so I asked Tsuyoshi.
[12:35] Chiyo
    Were you all right?!
[12:37] Chiyo
    I don't want any bad actors
    approaching my dear, cute Rikka-chan!
[12:40] Rikka
    There was a fallen samurai who approached us.
[12:43] Chiyo
    A fallen samurai?!
[12:44] Sekine
    What's Tsuyoshi-kun like?
[12:47] Rikka
    He's really nice. But...
[12:50] Tsubasa
    What?!
[12:52] Rikka
    Intelligence, kinetic vision,
    athletic ability, emergency response...
[12:57] Rikka
    He fails in all aspects!
[13:00] Rikka
    He needs to train both his mind and body!
[13:04] Narrator
    The Colonel's performance
    reviews are quite harsh.
SIGN    Is fake blood trending?
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
[13:08] Tsuyoshi
    Is fake blood trending?
[13:13] Rikka
    Next weekend is three days long!
[13:16] Chiyo
    It would be wonderful
    if we could go out somewhere.
[13:18] Tsubasa
    In that case, how about we go
    visit my grandpa's vacation home?
[13:24] Sekine
    Vacation home?
[13:25] Chiyo
    Are you sure?
[13:26] Tsubasa
    Yeah. It's in Atami.
SIGN    Atami
[13:29] Sekine & Chiyo & Rikka
    Atami!
[13:31] Rikka
    Baths!
[13:33] Tsubasa
    What should I do while
    everyone else is bathing?
[13:37] Rikka
    I've never been to a vacation home before.
SIGN    The Next Day
[13:39] Chiyo
    I can't wait!
[13:43] Tsubasa
    I'm sorry.
SIGN    Atami
[13:44] Tsubasa
    The vacation home's a no-go.
[13:47] Tsubasa
    Grandpa told me he actually sold it.
[13:51] Tsubasa
    He'd had it listed for a while,
    so I didn't expect it to sell now.
[13:57] Chiyo
    Please don't feel bad.
[14:00] Narrator
    A detailed itinerary.
[14:02] Rikka
    I'm glad he was able to sell it.
[14:04] Narrator
    A bath towel.
[14:07] Narrator
    An over-stuffed backpack.
[14:08] Tsubasa
    I'm really sorry.
[14:10] Sekine
    Instead of a vacation home,
    how about a company retreat?
[14:13] Sekine
    I know a place we can use.
    It costs 1,500 yen per person, though.
[14:18] Chiyo
    I can pay that!
[14:19] Rikka
    I can pay 1,000 times that!
[14:22] Sekine
    Not with those bills, you're not.
[14:25] Tsubasa
    Thank you!
[14:27] Tsubasa
    I'm so glad. I didn't
    want to disappoint everyone.
[14:33] Sekine & Tsubasa & Chiyo & Rikka
    Here we are at Atami!
SIGN    Atami Station
[14:37] Mr. Brian
    Amazing!
[14:39] Mr. Brian
    I'm finally at one of my dream destinations:
[14:42] Mr. Brian
    Atami, the Monaco of the East!
[14:45] Tsubasa
    We needed an adult to chaperone us.
[14:49] Sekine
    Thank you for your help.
[14:50] Mr. Brian
    No problem.
[14:52] Mr. Brian
    My wife loves hanging out
    with my wonderful students.
[14:57] Sekine
    Hmm? Where is your wife?
[14:59] Mr. Brian
    She wakes up very early, so she went ahead
    and started sightseeing already.
[15:04] Mr. Brian
    We'll meet up with her at the hotel.
[15:07] Mr. Brian
    Let's go!
[15:11] Sekine
    This is the retreat.
[15:14] Sekine
    It belongs to the Organization.
[15:16] Narrator
    They don't skimp on the benefits.
[15:19] Sekine
    Hello. Reservation for Sekine, please.
SIGN    That's a boy.
SIGN    I can tell, even with that hairstyle.
[15:32] Tsubasa
    Goodness, do I look that manly?
    Oh, dear! Oh, my!
[15:37] Tsubasa
    I guess it takes a man to know one.
[15:42] Sekine
    No, she's 100%, bona-fide female!
[15:46] ---
    
[15:47] Chiyo
    She’s more girly than any girl!
[15:49] ---
    
[15:50] Rikka
    There's no girl cuter than her!
[15:52] ---
    
[15:55] Owner
    What seems to be the matter?
SIGN    The reservation says four women.
[16:01] Owner
    Do you have your student ID?
[16:02] Tsubasa
    I didn't bring it.
[16:04] Owner
    Hmm.
[16:05] Sekine
    Every worker has the right
    to benefits, do they not?
[16:09] Sekine
    I've been living under this
    organization for 14 years!
[16:12] Sekine
    I deserve a hot spring spa visit or two!
[16:15] Chiyo
    S-Sekine-san?
[16:17] Sekine
    R-Right! Where's Mr. Brian?
[16:21] Mr. Brian
    Fantastic!
SIGN    Kokeshi Dolls
[16:23] Narrator
    Traditional dolls over students.
[16:23] Mr. Brian
    The craftsmanship!
[16:26] Sekine
    Are you wearing underwear
    you can show today?
[16:29] Narrator
    Boxers.
[16:31] Chiyo
    That's going too far.
[16:35] Tsubasa
    I'm sorry!
[16:36] Tsubasa
    I'm actually...
[16:38] Tsubasa
    the twin brother Tsuyoshi, not Tsubasa!
[16:47] Tsuyoshi
    I'm really sorry.
[16:49] Rikka
    So it's you, Tsuyoshi-kun.
[16:51] Sekine
    Um, Tsuyoshi-san.
    Where is the real Tsubasa now?
[16:55] Tsuyoshi
    Just call me Tsuyoshi.
[16:57] Tsuyoshi
    My sister is, uh... At an idol concert.
[17:01] Chiyo
    What? She likes idols? I didn't know that.
[17:05] Sekine
    Did she suddenly get tickets?
[17:08] Rikka
    She didn't have to make you
    fill in for her like this.
[17:11] Tsuyoshi
    I-I know. She's terrible.
    This must be so awkward for you.
[17:16] Rikka
    Not at all!
[17:18] Chiyo
    It must be something very important
    for Tsubasa to have canceled so suddenly.
[17:22] Sekine
    You said it.
[17:23] Tsuyoshi
    What? Nobody's mad?
[17:26] Sekine
    Oh, well. I guess we should go home.
[17:28] Tsubasa
    No, you three can stay without me.
[17:31] Sekine
    That's not going to work.
[17:33] Chiyo
    Yes, we would miss Tsubasa-san.
[17:37] Rikka
    That's right. It's the four of us
    being together that matters!
[17:40] Tsuyoshi
    Guys...
[17:42] Sekine
    All right... Let's do some Atami
    sight-seeing before we leave!
[17:46] Chiyo
    Right!
[17:49] Tsuyoshi
    I'll take my leave, then...
[17:52] Rikka
    Come on, Tsuyoshi-kun! Join us!
[17:55] Tsuyoshi
    Huh?!
[17:56] Rikka
    Young man, you were kind to me back then.
[18:00] (Flashback) Tsuyoshi
    Would it be all right
    if I went with you, instead?
[18:05] Rikka
    I do not forget my debts.
[18:08] Narrator
    The Grateful Colonel.
[18:24] Tsuyoshi
    Really? This is totally cuter.
[18:27] Tsuyoshi
    See?
[18:29] Tsuyoshi
    Yikes! I behaved like I usually do!
[18:34] Sekine
    I guess I'll go with this one, then.
[18:37] Tsuyoshi
    I guess Sekine is all right with it.
    She doesn't seem to care.
[18:43] Sekine
    So over-familiar.
[18:44] Tsuyoshi
    Check this out, Chiyo-san.
[18:46] Chiyo
    My, how cute!
[18:48] Tsuyoshi
    Chiyo-san said she doesn't like boys,
    but she's acting normally around me.
[18:54] Tsuyoshi
    I'm glad.
[18:55] Chiyo
    He's too close!
[18:57] Chiyo
    But I must endure!
    For peace and friendship...
SIGN    Sessho-kai
[19:02] Chiyo
    Sessho-kai!
[19:04] Narrator
    Sessho-kai: a Buddhist commandment
[19:06] Narrator
    that prohibits killing living things,
    especially humans.
[19:10] Sekine
    Chiyo-san, are you all right?
    Should I ask him to take a step back?
[19:14] Chiyo
    It's fine. Everything is totally sessho-kai.
[19:18] Chiyo
    Because he's Tsubasa-san's
    dear family member!
[19:25] Sekine
    You're nothing like how
    Tsubasa described you.
[19:30] Tsuyoshi
    Huh? What did Tsubasa say about me?
[19:33] Rikka
    That you're small-minded
    and will never be popular with girls.
[19:36] Tsuyoshi
    Huh?
[19:37] Tsuyoshi
    She badmouthed me to them?
SIGN    Blah
SIGN    Blah
SIGN    Blah
SIGN    Blah
SIGN    Blah
SIGN    Blah
SIGN    Blah
[19:42] Tsuyoshi
    Well, she's the one who sends me to buy her
    ice cream in the middle of the night,
[19:46] Tsuyoshi
    hogs the bathroom all morning,
    eats the tip off every asparagus stalk,
[19:51] Tsuyoshi
    and doesn't have a humane bone in her body.
[19:53] Chiyo
    Please don't speak badly of Tsubasa-san!
[19:59] Chiyo
    She trained hard to become a ninja,
[20:02] Chiyo
    gave me a Maskuma mug as a birthday present,
[20:07] Chiyo
    and is otherwise full
    of genuine, girly kindness!
[20:11] Tsuyoshi
    Girly...
[20:13] Sekine
    Oh, yeah.
[20:16] Sekine
    She's so good at making takoyaki.
    Each one came out perfectly round.
[20:20] Sekine
    And uh, um... She's got
    this real femininity to her.
[20:26] Tsuyoshi
    Femininity...
[20:27] Rikka
    Yeah, at Tanabata, she let me have her wish.
[20:32] Rikka
    That was cute.
[20:34] Tsuyoshi
    Cute...
[20:36] Chiyo
    We all love Tsubasa-san.
[20:40] Tsuyoshi
    I'm glad... I really am glad, but...
[20:43] Narrator
    Heavy damage.
[20:45] Mr. Brian
    Everyone! I was waiting for you!
[20:49] Chiyo
    Mr. Brian!
[20:51] Mr. Brian
    The hotel clerk explained to me
    what happened. Poor you!
SIGN    Traditional Kokeshi Dolls
[20:56] Mr. Brian
    Here. A souvenir.
[20:58] Sekine
    Thank you!
[21:00] Chiyo
    What about your family?
[21:02] Mr. Brian
    No problem. My wife will stay
    at the hotel alone.
[21:07] Mr. Brian
    I'm a teacher, so it is my
    responsibility to take you home.
[21:13] Mr. Brian
    Back to Tokyo!
[21:16] Narrator
    Back to being a responsible teacher!
[21:19] Rikka
    I wonder which one Tsubasa-chan would like?
[21:23] Chiyo
    Maybe this one?
[21:24] Sekine
    Could be this one.
[21:25] Rikka
    What about this one?
[21:26] Chiyo
    That's the one.
[21:28] Sekine
    Yes.
[21:30] Tsuyoshi
    I'm right here, though.
[21:34] Tsuyoshi
    Is it all right for me to stay like this?
SIGN    Next Episode Preview
SIGN    Day Duty:
     Sekine
[23:09] Chiyo
    Here's a tongue-twister. Ready?
[23:12] Chiyo
    Masked Maskuma must muster
    a maximum-mass musketeer.
[23:14] Rikka
    That's impressive, Chiyo-san!
[23:16] Sekine
    Please repeat it.
[23:17] Chiyo
    Masked Maskuma must muster
    a maximum-mass musketeer,
[23:19] Chiyo
    masked Maskuma must muster a maximum-mass
    musketeer masked Maskuma must muster...
SIGN    #11: Goodbye, Colonel
[23:22] Tsubasa
    Next episode is the last one.

E11 - Goodbye, Colonel

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:07] Chiyo
    How long can you stay on Earth, Rikka-chan?
[00:11] Rikka
    Huh?
SIGN    Class 2-B
    Air Band
SIGN    The
SIGN    Lit
SIGN    tle
SIGN    Lies
SIGN    We
SIGN    All
SIGN    Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    Rikka
SIGN    Colonel
SIGN    Chiyo-san
SIGN    Chiyo-san
SIGN    Ninja
SIGN    Sekine
SIGN    Psychic
SIGN    Tsubasa
SIGN    Tsuyoshi
SIGN    Boy
SIGN    Note:
     Is Sekine
SIGN    Maskuma Mask
SIGN    Class 2-B
    Air Band
SIGN    Poeh
SIGN    #11: Goodbye, Colonel
SIGN    #11: Goodbye, Colonel
SIGN    #11: Goodbye, Colonel
SIGN    #11: Goodbye, Colonel
SIGN    #11: Goodbye, Colonel
SIGN    #11: Goodbye, Colonel
SIGN    #11: Goodbye, Colonel
SIGN    #11: Goodbye, Colonel
SIGN    #11: Goodbye, Colonel
SIGN    #11: Goodbye, Colonel
SIGN    #11: Goodbye, Colonel
SIGN    #11: Goodbye, Colonel
SIGN    Start
[01:52] Rikka
    What was that?
[01:54] Rikka
    Is an allied spaceship nearby?!
SIGN    Bad Terrible
SIGN    Not there There
[02:10] Rikka
    I can't tell.
[02:13] Rikka
    This is Colonel Papipoporo Durrikka,
[02:15] Rikka
    109th Battalion of the Galactic
    Revolution Alliance Army!
[02:19] Rikka
    I'm on the third planet
    of this solar system.
[02:22] Rikka
    Please respond!
[02:28] Rikka
    Damn it. I guess I have no other choice
[02:30] Rikka
    but to shut off all non-essential devices
    and divert all power to communications!
[02:33] Rikka
    But to do that, I must disable
    everyone's brainwashing!
[02:40] Sekine
    Our final exam's coming up.
[02:43] Tsubasa
    Yeah. I'm sure you'll ace it easily, though.
[02:47] Sekine
    I doubt you'll have much
    trouble either, Tsubasa.
[02:50] Chiyo
    I haven't been getting much sleep.
[02:52] Sekine
    Oh, good.
[02:53] Tsubasa
    Chiyo-san's studying hard for the exam.
SIGN    Maskuma
[02:56] Chiyo
    You see, I've been getting into embroidery!
[02:59] Sekine
    Please study, Chiyo-san!
[03:01] Tsubasa
    We're not kidding about
    how much trouble you're in!
[03:03] Rikka
    You'll be fine, Chiyo-san!
[03:05] Rikka
    I'm on your side!
[03:06] Chiyo
    Thank you, Rikka-chan!
[03:08] Sekine
    How does that make anything "fine"?!
[03:12] Sekine
    I guess we should just all do
    a group study session together.
[03:15] Tsubasa
    Yes, you're right.
[03:17] Tsubasa
    Let's do this, Chiyo-san.
[03:19] Tsubasa
    Let's work hard so we can keep
    going to school together!
[03:21] Chiyo
    Understood!
[03:22] Narrator
    Her responses, at least, are enthusiastic.
[03:24] Rikka
    Right! We're definitely going
    to pass this exam!
SIGN    Pass Exam
[03:27] Tsubasa & Rikka & Sekine & Chiyo
    Here we go!
[03:32] Tsubasa
    Next, let's do the sevens!
[03:33] Chiyo
    Right!
SIGN    She does have spirit
[03:34] Chiyo
    Seven times one is seven,
    seven times two is fourteen,
[03:36] Chiyo
    seven times three is... Um...
[03:39] Rikka
    Go, go, Chiyo-san!
SIGN    The 7s are a bit tricky,
     for sure...
SIGN    The 7s are a bit tricky,
     for sure...
[03:43] Sekine
    It feels like all is lost...
[03:45] Chiyo
    Seven times three is twenty-one... Was it?
[03:50] Tsubasa
    That's right! Keep it up!
[03:54] Chiyo
    Are you all right?
[03:56] Tsubasa
    Y-Yeah...
[03:57] Sekine
    Maybe we should give up already...
SIGN    We're putting our own
     grades at risk...
[04:00] Tsubasa
    No, I'll never give up.
[04:03] Tsubasa
    I want to do everything I can
    in the limited time I have left.
[04:09] Tsubasa
    Come on, one more time!
[04:11] Chiyo
    Yes!
[04:11] Chiyo
    Seven times one is seven, seven times two
    is fourteen, seven times three is twenty-one,
[04:15] Rikka
    seven times four... Seven times... four...
[04:17] Rikka
    Go, go, Chiyo-san!
[04:20] Tsubasa
    That's right. I'm running out of time.
[04:31] (Flashback) Tsubasa (Sister)
    Tsuyoshi, what's wrong with your voice?
[04:34] (Flashback) Tsuyoshi
    You think so, too?
[04:36] (Flashback) Tsubasa (Sister)
    If it's a cold, don't give it to me.
[04:37] (Flashback) Tsuyoshi
    It's not a cold.
[04:39] (Flashback) Tsubasa (Sister)
    Then what is it? Did you eat too
    much spicy food or something?
[04:43] (Flashback) Tsuyoshi
    No, this is...
[04:45] (Flashback) Tsuyoshi
    Puberty.
[04:48] Tsubasa
    Once my voice breaks, I won't be able
    to hang out with them anymore.
[04:52] Chiyo
    Seven times eight is fifty-six,
    seven times nine is... sixty...
[04:57] Chiyo
    three!
[04:58] Rikka
    Awesome! Awesome!
[05:00] Tsubasa
    Right! Next, the eights!
[05:02] Chiyo
    Um... Eight times one is eight, eight times
    two is sixteen... Eight times three...
[05:04] Rikka
    It's wonderful how hard she's
    working toward the future.
[05:08] Rikka
    As a friend, I must do
    something to assist her.
[05:14] Rikka
    Maybe I'll raise her IQ, just a little bit.
[05:24] Tsubasa
    What's wrong, Chiyo-san?
SIGN    Mathematics 2
[05:31] Chiyo
    I think I got the gist of it all.
[05:33] Tsubasa
    What? Just like that?!
[05:34] Chiyo
    Yes. Once I understand the basics,
    the rest is just applications.
[05:38] Tsubasa
    No, it can't be... Then...
[05:42] Tsubasa
    What's 99 times 99?
[05:44] Chiyo
    9,801.
[05:45] Narrator
    Instant response.
[05:47] Chiyo
    See, the trick is,
[05:48] Chiyo
    imagine a 100 by 100 grid, and imagine that
    the final row and column are each deleted.
[05:53] Chiyo
    Then just add one, because that one cell
    got deleted twice, and there it is! See?
[06:02] Sekine
    It seems Chiyo-san will make it after all,
    thanks to the Colonel's mental steroids,
[06:04] Chiyo
    Intelligence!
SIGN    Intelligence
[06:07] Sekine
    Maybe we should stop studying now
    and switch to a sleepover.
[06:12] Sekine
    Let's watch a movie or something.
[06:13] Chiyo
    My, what a splendid suggestion!
[06:16] Rikka
    I brought pajamas, just in case!
[06:19] Tsubasa
    Wait, I dunno about sleeping over...
[06:23] Tsubasa
    Why are you looking at me like that?!
[06:24] Rikka
    I guess that's settled.
[06:26] Tsubasa
    When was it settled?!
[06:28] Chiyo
    Let's go and buy some snacks!
[06:30] Tsubasa
    Don't ignore me!
[06:30] Sekine
    Sounds good. Let's do that.
[06:33] Sekine
    The pharmacy has cheaper drinks,
    so let's split up.
[06:36] Chiyo & Tsubasa & Rikka
    Okay!
SIGN    Full of Lies
SIGN    Chocolate All Over
[06:39] Tsubasa
    Sekine wants chocolate.
[06:41] Tsubasa
    Rikka said gummies, I think...
[06:45] Tsubasa
    I should buy cough drops, too.
[06:47] Chiyo
    Cough drops soothe pains and coughing
[06:49] Chiyo
    by adding moisture and other
    components to your throat.
[06:53] Chiyo
    I don't think cough drops would help
    with your particular symptoms.
[07:00] Chiyo
    Never mind!
[07:10] Tsubasa
    Could it be that Chiyo-san
    realized my voice is breaking?
[07:18] Tsubasa
    Hey, um...
[07:25] Tsubasa
    Uh, um...
[07:28] Chiyo
    It's not just you, Tsubasa-san.
[07:33] Rikka
    Hey, you two!
[07:37] Rikka
    I bought a whole bunch!
[07:39] Rikka
    Check this out, Chiyo-san!
[07:43] Sekine
    You seem a little down. Is something wrong?
[07:47] Tsubasa
    Well, no, um...
[07:58] Chiyo
    How long can you stay on Earth, Rikka-chan?
[08:02] Rikka
    Huh?
[08:03] Chiyo
    The only way to explain all of the
    mysterious events that occurred up until now
[08:07] Chiyo
    is to assume the presence of a
    technology from outside Earth.
[08:13] Chiyo
    Rikka-chan, you're...
[08:16] Chiyo
    a space alien, right?
[08:19] Chiyo
    You need to return to your
    home planet for some reason,
[08:24] Chiyo
    but you don't want to go back.
[08:25] Rikka
    I don't want to go back?
[08:27] Chiyo
    But if that's the case...
[08:29] Chiyo
    How much longer can we stay this way?
[08:34] Sekine
    What's wrong?
[08:37] Sekine
    Um...
[08:38] Chiyo
    Sekine-san, you know everything, don't you?
[08:48] Sekine
    U-Um...
[08:54] Sekine
    Wh-What do you mean? Haha...
[08:59] Rikka
    Chiyo-san.
SIGN    Not looking
[09:04] Chiyo
    H-Huh?
[09:07] Chiyo
    What were we talking about?
[09:11] Rikka
    About how we should go back soon.
[09:15] Chiyo
    Were we? My memory is hazy for some reason.
[09:20] Chiyo
    How odd.
[09:35] Chiyo
    Um, is something wrong?
[09:39] Tsubasa
    Not really.
[09:40] Rikka
    Nothing's wrong.
[09:41] Sekine
    What a terrible atmosphere!
[09:44] Sekine
    It seems like Chiyo-san doesn't remember
    what happened after her massive IQ spike,
[09:48] Sekine
    so I don't think we have to worry
    about our covers being blown, but...
[09:51] Sekine
    Wait, so what's wrong with Tsubasa?
[09:54] Rikka
    All right. My mind is finally made up.
[09:58] Rikka
    I can't just sit here worrying forever.
[10:00] Rikka
    Hey, guys! Let's watch a movie!
[10:03] Chiyo
    Yes! Let's do that!
[10:04] Sekine
    In that case, I'll bring out the VCR!
[10:07] Chiyo & Rikka & Tsubasa
    What's that?
SIGN    VCR?
[10:08] Narrator
    They've never even heard of the term.
[10:11] Rikka
    What about a Blu-ray, or a DVD?
[10:13] Sekine
    Like I said, I only have VHS.
[10:16] Tsubasa
    "VHS"? Is that different from the "VCR"?
[10:19] Sekine
    I have to start from there?
[10:30] Tsubasa
    What to do now?
    Should I tell everyone the truth?
[10:36] (Flashback) Chiyo
    It's not just you, Tsubasa-san.
[10:38] Tsubasa
    I wonder what she meant by that.
[10:41] Chiyo
    I woke up.
[10:44] Chiyo
    Are you having trouble sleeping, too?
[10:47] Tsubasa
    Um, yeah. It's nothing.
[10:53] Tsubasa
    Hey, Chiyo-san. About what we were
    talking about on the way home...
[10:57] Chiyo
    What is it?
[10:59] Tsubasa
    Huh? Well, um...
[11:03] Chiyo
    I remember practicing
    multiplication tables with you,
[11:06] Chiyo
    but I'm having trouble recalling
    what happened after that.
[11:10] Chiyo
    Maybe it's because I suddenly used
    my brain a lot, which I rarely do!
[11:16] Tsubasa
    She's back to her normal self.
[11:18] Chiyo
    Tsubasa-san, thank you for today!
    For helping me study!
[11:23] Tsubasa
    Oh, I don't think you really needed my help.
    It looks like you'll ace the exam easily.
[11:28] Chiyo
    That's only because you taught me so carefully!
[11:32] Chiyo
    Seven times one is seven, seven times two
    is fourteen, seven times three is...
[11:37] Chiyo
    twenty-four...?
[11:40] Tsubasa
    Sekine, wake up!
    We have to pull an all-nighter!
[11:43] Sekine
    But I'm so sleepy...
[11:49] Tsubasa
    We did the best we could.
[11:52] Sekine
    Best of luck to you on the exam, Chiyo-san.
[11:55] Tsubasa
    Because miracles do sometimes happen.
[12:00] Chiyo
    Please don't worry so much, you two.
[12:04] Chiyo
    Using my ninja skills, it would be simple
    to peek at other people's answers.
[12:10] Sekine
    I see. So that's why she's so confident.
[12:13] Chiyo
    That's why I'll pass this exam,
    no matter what.
[12:16] Chiyo
    Without cheating!
[12:17] Sekine
    Please cheat.
[12:18] Chiyo
    With my own ability!
[12:19] Sekine
    You have no ability!
[12:20] Chiyo
    I'll do my very best!
[12:23] Sekine
    Please do!
[12:24] Sekine
    Goodbye, Chiyo-san.
[12:28] Chiyo
    I passed the exam.
[12:29] Sekine & Tsubasa
    How?!
[12:30] Rikka
    Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! Awesome!
SIGN    The Little Lies We All Tell
SIGN    Oh, so it was a lie.
SIGN    I'm so relieved.
[12:34] Sekine
    Oh, so it was a lie.
[12:36] Tsubasa
    I'm so relieved.
[12:41] Students
    Yay!
[12:47] Sekine
    Your name was indeed on the list.
[12:49] Chiyo
    I'm so glad I can attend
    school with you again!
[12:51] Tsubasa
    How did you pull it off?
[12:53] Chiyo
    Well...
[12:55] Chiyo
    The teachers allowed me to have
    a re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-test,
[12:59] Chiyo
    and I submitted an essay
    detailing how motivated I am!
[13:02] Narrator
    Generosity and pity.
[13:05] Tsubasa
    I see. I guess there was no point
    in doing the all-nighter.
[13:09] Tsubasa
    But...
[13:10] Sekine
    Yes.
[13:10] Tsubasa
    Rikka's name wasn't...
[13:12] Rikka
    Guys!
[13:13] Rikka
    Congrats on passing the exam!
[13:19] Tsubasa
    Hey, Rikka, did you see
    the results for the final exam?
[13:22] Tsubasa
    Your name was the only one missing.
[13:24] Rikka
    Yes, I know.
[13:30] Rikka
    It's time for my graduation ceremony.
[13:33] Chiyo
    Graduation ceremony?
[13:35] Rikka
    Speaker: Rikka, representing the graduates.
[13:39] Tsubasa
    This is no time to play around.
[13:41] Tsubasa
    I'm sure it must be a mistake of some kind.
    We need to talk to the teachers...
[13:46] Rikka
    Thinking back, a lot of things
    happened after I met you.
[13:52] Rikka
    The fun school festival.
[13:54] Rikka
    The snack on the way home
    that brought everyone down.
SIGN    I wish I could go back
     to how I was. -Tsubasa
SIGN    I want to lose 3 kilos
     2 kilos. -Sekine
SIGN    I wish my legs
     were pretty. -Chiyo
[13:56] Rikka
    The swimming pool where we made wishes.
[13:58] Rikka
    The beach where we groveled for forgiveness.
[14:00] Rikka
    The takoyaki party where my tongue
    almost got hideously burned.
[14:04] Rikka
    The night when we all had the sleepover.
[14:06] Rikka
    Each memory is a treasure
    that will be precious to me forever.
[14:11] Rikka
    I'll never forget the days I spent with you.
[14:15] Chiyo
    Rikka-chan, what are you saying
    all of a sudden?!
[14:18] Tsubasa
    Yeah, why are you acting like
    you're about to leave forever?
[14:35] Female student 1
    What's that?
[14:36] Female student 2
    A UFO? A real one?!
[14:38] Female student 3
    What's it doing here?!
[14:40] Mr. Brian
    Wow! Amazing!
[14:49] Sekine
    The Colonel's brainwashing got deactivated!
[14:51] Rikka
    I will now erase all of your memories.
[14:55] Rikka
    I need you to forget about
    the UFO, and about me.
[14:59] Sekine
    Erase our memories?
[15:01] Tsubasa
    What do you mean?
[15:02] Rikka
    Chiyo-san, Miss Sekine, Miss Tsubasa.
[15:05] Rikka
    Thank you for everything you've done.
[15:07] Rikka
    We will never see each other again,
    which must sadden you. But don't cry.
[15:12] Rikka
    No matter how much time passes, I...
[15:14] Rikka
    will always pray for your
    happiness, my friends!
[15:20] Tsubasa
    Why did she go into the UFO?
[15:22] Chiyo
    It's my fault.
[15:25] Chiyo
    It's my fault that Rikka-chan
    is going back to space!
[15:28] Sekine
    I knew it. You said you lost
    your memory, but it was a lie.
[15:33] Chiyo
    Yes. That night, my mind
    suddenly felt sharper,
[15:36] Chiyo
    and I was able to figure so many things out.
[15:38] Chiyo
    But I ended up saying
    something to push her away!
[15:44] Sekine
    It's not your fault, Chiyo-san.
[15:47] Sekine
    Ever since the day she met us,
[15:49] Sekine
    she was always thinking
    about when to return to space.
[15:53] Sekine
    She has a reason why she needed
    to go back, no matter what.
[15:57] Tsubasa
    I don't really understand,
    but this is too sudden. It makes me sad.
[16:03] Sekine
    Me, too. But Rikka made up her mind.
[16:07] Sekine
    We have to respect her decision.
[16:10] Chiyo
    Rikka-chan...
[16:11] Tsubasa
    Is this really what she wants, though?
[16:15] Tsubasa
    Rikka was crying.
[16:16] Tsubasa
    She knows she can't stay here,
    but she doesn't want to leave us.
[16:21] Tsubasa
    Maybe that's what she's thinking.
[16:24] Sekine
    How would you know that, Tsubasa?
[16:26] Tsubasa
    I know. Because I'm the same.
[16:32] Tsuyoshi
    I'm not Tsubasa. I'm actually Tsuyoshi!
[16:34] Hanzo
    Huh?!
[16:36] Tsuyoshi
    At first, I was being forced to come here.
[16:39] Tsuyoshi
    But after I met you,
    every day was so much fun.
[16:42] Tsuyoshi
    Before I knew it, I started
    enjoying school life here.
[16:47] Tsuyoshi
    I always knew I had to tell you the truth
    sometime, but I... I just couldn't.
[16:53] Tsuyoshi
    Sometimes...
[16:55] Tsuyoshi
    it was like I could barely breathe.
[16:58] Tsuyoshi
    I'm sorry. I lied to you.
[17:06] Sekine
    I see. That explains everything.
[17:10] Sekine
    That said, I can't say
    I'm all that surprised.
[17:13] Sekine
    After all, we're all liars here.
[17:16] Chiyo
    That's right. I can't fault you for that.
[17:19] Tsuyoshi
    Wait, what? What lies
    have you two been telling?
[17:23] Chiyo
    That's not important.
    We have to talk to Rikka-chan!
[17:26] Tsuyoshi
    Not important? Really?
[17:28] Sekine
    You're right.
[17:30] Sekine
    We need to ask if this is
    really what she wants.
[17:34] Chiyo
    But how can we get up there?
[17:38] Hanzo
    I heard the whole thing.
[17:40] Chiyo
    Hanzo?
[17:41] Sekine
    What part of that was
    worth crying over?
[17:42] Tsuyoshi
    You can't think of anything?!
[17:44] Hanzo
    Dear sister, I call a truce!
    Let's do the thing!
[17:58] Chiyo
    Ultimate technique:
[18:00] Chiyo
    Regular jump!
[18:02] Sekine
    Can't we at least leap from the rooftops?!
[18:08] Sekine
    Mistress Time!
[18:10] Chiyo
    Oh, dear.
[18:12] Tsuyoshi
    What just happened...?
[18:14] Sekine
    I'll explain another time.
[18:16] Tsuyoshi
    Really?
[18:17] Rikka
    This is fine.
[18:18] Rikka
    Now that I've confirmed that Chiyo-san passed
    the exam, I have no further business here.
[18:23] Computer
    Beep boop, beepbeep boop.
[18:25] Rikka
    As we planned, I will now travel
    outside of this solar system.
[18:28] Rikka
    Once I get there, I will disable
    all systems excluding life support
[18:31] Rikka
    and send out a distress signal!
[18:33] Computer
    Boopboop beepboop!
[18:34] Rikka
    I have no idea if my allies
    will be able to pick up that signal,
[18:37] Rikka
    but I have no choice but to try.
[18:39] Rikka
    Let's go!
[18:40] Computer
    Beeboop!
[18:43] Rikka
    It's all right. I'll always have the memories.
[19:00] Rikka
    Guys...
[19:11] Chiyo
    We're here because we need
    to tell you something.
[19:14] Chiyo
    I want to graduate with you, Rikka-chan!
[19:18] Chiyo
    Please allow me this one wish!
[19:20] Rikka
    Chiyo-san...
[19:21] Sekine
    I don't want to leave you, either.
[19:24] Sekine
    I know you have your reasons,
    but could you please reconsider?
[19:28] Rikka
    Miss Sekine...
[19:31] Tsuyoshi
    You can't just say goodbye
    with no warning like that.
[19:34] Tsuyoshi
    It's true that we were all lying, but...
[19:36] Tsuyoshi
    our friendship is for real, isn't it?!
[19:39] Sekine
    We said what we came here to say.
[19:42] Sekine
    What's important is what you want, Rikka.
[19:45] Rikka
    What Rikka wants is...
[19:49] Rikka
    To graduate with you, too!
[19:53] Tsuyoshi
    Then let's do that.
    Let's make even more fun memories.
[19:58] Rikka
    Yeah.
[20:00] Tsuyoshi
    I'm glad. Aren't you, Sekine?
[20:02] Sekine
    Of course I'm glad.
[20:04] Computer
    Bebebeep. Boop boboop.
[20:06] Computer
    Bebebeep. Boop boboop.
SIGN    Resolution of problem detected. This vessel will now leave this planet. All systems other than baseline life support will be diverted to communications. This is pretty dangerous, so good luck.
[20:08] Computer
    Bebebeep. Boop boboop.
[20:13] Computer
    Bebebeep. Boop boboop.
[20:14] Rikka
    Trouble!
[20:16] Tsuyoshi
    Wh-What?!
[20:21] Rikka
    I've lost control?!
[20:22] Rikka
    I have no choice!
SIGN    Big, bad button
SIGN    Do not push!
[20:29] Rikka
    I've prepared for this!
[20:31] Rikka
    Look! An outfit for cryosleep!
[20:33] Tsuyoshi & Sekine
    You want to do that now?!
[20:35] Chiyo
    Sounds like a nice nap.
[20:37] Computer
    Bobobobeep bebeepboop!
SIGN    Translation for Earthlings
SIGN    Activating Escape Mechanism
[20:41] Rikka
    The UFO!
[20:42] Chiyo
    We're so high up!
[20:44] Tsuyoshi
    Isn't there more to this escape mechanism?!
[20:46] Sekine
    We'll figure something out.
[20:48] Tsuyoshi
    No way!
[20:51] Tsuyoshi
    Besides, even if I survive this, I can't...
[20:55] Sekine
    Well, true.
[20:56] Chiyo
    No matter what, you'll always be Tsubasa-san!
[20:58] Tsuyoshi
    Thank you, Chiyo-san, but I'm Tsuyoshi!
[21:01] Rikka
    I'm sorry, everyone.
[21:03] Rikka
    There's only one way to put
    everything back to the way it was!
[21:06] Sekine
    Colonel?
[21:07] Rikka
    Katsu!
SIGN    Katsu
[22:46] Sekine
    Our final exam's coming up.
[22:48] Tsubasa
    Yeah. I'm sure you'll ace it easily, though.
SIGN    Sekine
    Ayane Sakura
SIGN    Sekine
    Ayane Sakura
SIGN    Tsubasa (Tsuyoshi)
    Megumi Han
SIGN    Tsubasa (Tsuyoshi)
    Megumi Han
[22:52] Sekine
    I doubt you'll have much
    trouble either, Tsubasa.
[22:55] Sekine
    Though... Haven't we had
    this conversation before?
[22:59] Rikka
    I feel I'm forgetting something...
SIGN    Rikka
    Chiemi Tanaka
SIGN    Rikka
    Chiemi Tanaka
[23:02] Chiyo
    I haven't been getting much sleep.
SIGN    Maskuma Mask
[23:04] Chiyo
    You see, I've been getting into embroidery!
SIGN    Chiyo
    Natsumi Murakami
SIGN    Chiyo
    Natsumi Murakami
[23:06] Sekine
    Please study, Chiyo-san!
[23:08] Tsubasa
    We're not kidding about
    how much trouble you're in!
[23:11] Narrator
    By all appearances,
    an ordinary morning scene,
[23:14] Narrator
    played out by four ordinary
    middle school girls.
[23:19] Narrator
    But these four each have their
    own special circumstances.