# The House Spirit Tatami-chan
Cute but rude! Tatami-chan is a crazy-cute heroine taking on the ghosts, spirits, and even humans residing in the Tokyo metropolitan area in the new Reiwa era! Oshikiri's unique style is on full display in this thrilling horror-gag comedy, coming soon!
# Season 1
# E1 - Tatami-chan's a Tokyoite Now
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GRG5QWG5R/tatami-chans-a-tokyoite-now)
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**[00:00] Narrator**
She comes from Tohno to Tokyo,
where she's always wanted to live.
**[00:03] Narrator**
Tatami-chan is a zashikiwarashi,
a spirit that brings happiness.
**[00:08] Narrator**
How will she fare in the big city,
having moved from the countryside?
**[00:15] Tatami**
So this is *the* Tokyo that
I've always wanted to see.
**[00:17] Tatami**
I hope I'll do all right here.
***SIGN*** The House Spirit
Tatami-chan
***SIGN*** Episode 1: "Tatami-chan's a Tokyoite Now"
**[00:25] Tatami**
Starting today, I'm living in this one-room
apartment with a rent of 50,000 yen.
**[00:29] Tatami**
Here goes!
**[00:31] Tatami**
Wait, this property's haunted?!
**[00:33] Tatami**
I got ripped off!
**[00:35] Ghost**
'Sup? I look forward to getting to know you.
**[00:38] Tatami**
No, don't you "'sup" me.
**[00:39] Tatami**
Pay half the rent if you're
going to room with me.
**[00:42] Ghost**
I don't have money.
**[00:43] Tatami**
Work, damn it! Work!
**[00:44] Tatami**
You won't pass on, you won't work...
You're a hopeless ghost!
**[00:48] Ghost**
So mean...
**[00:50] Tatami**
And who are you?!
**[00:52] Landlady**
I am the landlady here.
**[00:54] Landlady**
I came to see if you're
using the room properly.
**[00:56] Tatami**
Hey, landlady!
**[00:57] Tatami**
There's a ghost living here!
**[00:59] Landlady**
A ghost? I don't know what
you're talking about.
**[01:01] Tatami**
Don't try to act dumb, lady!
**[01:03] Landlady**
Stop with the slander.
**[01:04] Ghost**
Slander! Slander!
**[01:07] Tatami**
I just moved to Tokyo!
I'm still nervous, too!
**[01:10] Landlady**
Well, my condolences to you.
**[01:11] Ghost**
Damn you!
**[01:13] Landlady**
I suspect you'll have a
hard time here in Tokyo.
**[01:16] Landlady**
Say, do you know where Hachiko-mae is?
**[01:19] Tatami**
Hachiko, what?
**[01:21] Ghost**
Do you know what Shibuya Hikarie is?
**[01:23] Tatami**
Hika... Hika... What?
**[01:25] Landlady**
Do you know where the
Tokyo Olympics are being held?
**[01:28] Tatami**
Aren't they holding the
Tokyo Olympics in Tokyo?
**[01:31] Landlady**
This is the problem with country bumpkins.
**[01:33] Landlady**
How amusing.
**[01:35] Tatami**
I heard people in Tokyo are cold,
but you're downright nasty.
**[01:39] Landlady**
I'm not sure this tiny little girl
is going to survive in Tokyo.
**[01:42] Tatami**
Don't you dare underestimate me, damn it!
**[01:44] Bouzu**
Are you the new face?
**[01:46] Bouzu**
You haven't even said hi to
your neighbors, you disgrace.
**[01:48] Landlady**
Tickling Priest-san.
**[01:50] Tatami**
You people just barge into
my room unannounced.
**[01:52] Tatami**
Who the hell is this old fart?!
**[01:54] Bouzu**
Where's your modest gift for your neighbors?
You lack common sense!
**[01:57] Bouzu**
I'll tickle the hell out of you!
**[01:59] Bouzu**
Tickle, tickle...
**[02:01] Landlady**
Oh, my, that looks uncomfortably tickly.
**[02:02] Ghost**
Curse you! Curse you!
**[02:04] Tatami**
Freaking hell!
**[02:05] Tatami**
Tokyo *is* as scary as they say.
**[02:07] Tatami**
You're all insane!
**[02:09] Ghost**
That's right, Tokyo is scarier than any ghost.
**[02:12] Bouzu**
Indeed.
**[02:13] Bouzu**
I've seen ghosts and monsters of all kinds,
but the humans of Tokyo are beyond terrifying.
**[02:17] Tatami**
Yeah? Good for you.
**[02:19] Tatami**
I already hate all of you.
**[02:21] Landlady**
How unfortunate.
**[02:22] Bouzu**
Say, who are you, anyway?
**[02:25] Tatami**
I'm Tatami-chan the house spirit.
**[02:27] Tatami**
I'm a god of fortune.
I bring people happiness.
**[02:30] Landlady**
I have a hard time believing this
little girl can make people happy.
**[02:33] Bouzu**
Are you going to make us rich?
**[02:35] Tatami**
I sure am.
**[02:36] Tatami**
You'll be thanking me soon enough.
**[02:39] Ghost**
Will I be able to pay off my debts?
**[02:41] Tatami**
You have debts?
**[02:42] Landlady**
Will I meet a lovely man?
**[02:45] Tatami**
Sure you will, eventually.
**[02:46] Landlady**
Don't go talking out your ass!
**[02:48] Tatami**
Oh, that's how you want to talk?
**[02:50] Tatami**
Your whole year's going to suck.
**[02:52] Landlady**
Wait, please.
**[02:53] Tatami**
It's going to be totally dull.
**[02:56] Bouzu**
Is this little girl really
a god of happiness?
**[02:59] Tatami**
You don't believe me?!
**[03:01] Ghost**
You laughed at me, just now!
**[03:03] Bouzu**
It's hard to believe.
**[03:05] Tatami**
Leave it to me, and you can be rich
or even run Japan's economy.
**[03:10] Landlady**
That's some big talk.
**[03:12] Landlady**
I hope you aren't lying.
**[03:13] Tatami**
Don't underestimate me!
**[03:15] Tatami**
I'll show you what I'm made of.
**[03:17] Bouzu**
Oh? Let's see what you've got, then.
**[03:20] Landlady**
I can't wait.
**[03:22] Narrator**
Tatami-chan the house spirit
has moved to Tokyo.
**[03:27] Narrator**
What will her life there be like?
# E2 - You Shall Not Pass, Tatami-chan
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GR9V7EDE6/you-shall-not-pass-tatami-chan)
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***SIGN*** The House Spirit
Tatami-chan
***SIGN*** Episode 2: "You Shall Not Pass, Tatami-chan"
**[00:04] Narrator**
In the human world,
people flow in a certain way.
**[00:09] Narrator**
The city has its own flow, as well.
**[00:12] Narrator**
Going against that flow is strongly frowned
upon, and can put your life in danger.
**[00:17] Narrator**
Huh. Tatami-chan, who's only
been in Tokyo for a week,
**[00:23] Narrator**
seems to be confused at the station gate.
**[00:25] Narrator**
What has her so confused?
**[00:31] Tatami**
Yo, what is this? There's no place
for me to put the ticket in.
**[00:34] A**
Move, damn it!
**[00:35] B**
You're in the way!
**[00:36] C**
I'll smack you, wretched brat!
**[00:38] Tatami**
Sheesh, I'm taking a lot of heat.
**[00:44] Tatami**
I should be able to ride the train
as long as I have this ticket.
**[00:47] Tatami**
Why can't I go through?
**[00:48] Tatami**
Why? Why? Why?
**[00:50] Tatami**
Is it made so that only
Tokyoites can go through?
**[00:53] D**
Standing in the way...
**[00:54] E**
I'm going to shove my fingers
up your ass, moron!
**[00:56] Tatami**
No, no, no, I can't take it!
**[00:58] F**
Why are you hanging around here whining?
**[01:01] Tatami**
I just want to ride the
train with this ticket.
**[01:04] Tatami**
There's no slot for the ticket
on this machine.
**[01:07] F**
You can't get through the ticket gate?
**[01:09] Tatami**
Hey! You laughed!
**[01:12] F**
Poor thing.
**[01:13] F**
You must not be qualified
to go through the gate.
**[01:16] Tatami**
I need to be qualified
to go through the gate?
**[01:19] F**
The humans of Tokyo are exhausted
by the concrete jungle.
**[01:23] F**
You don't look exhausted enough.
**[01:26] Tatami**
I have to be tired to go
through the ticket gate?
**[01:29] F**
You need to look like you're fed up
and worn down by society.
**[01:32] F**
Can you do it?
**[01:33] Tatami**
Like this?
**[01:34] F**
Hey, not bad.
**[01:36] F**
Try it now.
**[01:37] F**
You'll see the ticket slot now.
**[01:40] Tatami**
Hey! I don't see the ticket slot!
**[01:43] Tatami**
You lied to me!
**[01:45] F**
Country bumpkins are so gullible.
**[01:47] F**
Goodbye.
**[01:48] Tatami**
Damn it, he was messing with me.
**[01:49] Tatami**
I can't believe I'm getting screwed
by this stupid ticket gate!
**[01:52] Priest**
What are you doing, Tatami-chan?
**[01:54] Tatami**
Tickling Priest.
**[01:56] Tatami**
You came at a good time.
**[01:57] Tatami**
This ticket gate won't take my ticket
and I don't know what to do.
**[02:01] Priest**
*That's* what's wrong?
Take a good look.
**[02:02] Priest**
There are two kinds of gates: one for
pass cards and another for tickets.
**[02:07] Tatami**
Wait, where?
**[02:09] Tatami**
Wow, I never noticed.
**[02:11] Priest**
Tatami-chan, tickets are passé.
**[02:13] Priest**
Every Tokyoites has a pass card.
**[02:16] Tatami**
I see.
**[02:17] Tatami**
So that'll let me go through
the ticket gates smoothly.
**[02:21] Priest**
Look, you can buy a pass card
from the station attendant over there.
**[02:25] Tatami**
Thank you belly macho, Tickling Priest-san.
**[02:27] Tatami**
Station attendant, one pass card please!
**[02:30] Attendant**
One pass card, coming right up!
**[02:32] Tatami**
I bought one.
**[02:33] Priest**
Now touch your card against that panel
and it will let you through.
**[02:35] Tatami**
All right, let's give this a shot!
**[02:38] Tatami**
Hey!
**[02:39] G**
Keep your card loaded, dammit!
**[02:39] H**
You're so freaking slow!
**[02:41] Priest**
The passenger in front of you
forgot to put money on his card.
**[02:44] Tatami**
All right, once more!
**[02:46] Tatami**
Jeez!
**[02:47] I**
I'mma kill you!
**[02:48] J**
Yo, do you not have money?
**[02:49] Priest**
It happens.
**[02:51] Priest**
It's annoying, huh?
**[02:52] Tatami**
Again!
**[02:53] Priest**
You're out of luck today.
**[02:54] Tatami**
Damn it, guy, what the hell are you doing?
**[02:57] Priest**
Don't do that, Tatami-chan.
**[02:58] Priest**
You'll become just like
the cranky Tokyoites.
**[03:01] Tatami**
I can't get used to the
flow of things in Tokyo.
**[03:05] Priest**
All right, let's use brute force.
**[03:07] Priest**
I'm going to tickle these people. Go!
**[03:10] K**
What's up with this priest?
**[03:12] Priest**
Tickle, tickle, tickle...
**[03:13] K**
Stop, please!
**[03:15] K**
Stop it!
**[03:15] Tatami**
Thanks a lot, Tickling Priest!
**[03:20] Tatami**
Woohoo! I can finally ride the trains!
**[03:23] Tatami**
I'm a Tokyoite now!
**[03:58] Machine**
*Please reload your card.*
# E3 - A Horror Story! Inanogawa-san
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GYEX2QV06/a-horror-story-inanogawa-san)
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***SIGN*** The House Spirit
Tatami-chan
***SIGN*** Episode 3: "A Horror Story! Inanogawa-san"
**[00:04] N**
It's been a month since
Tatami-chan arrived in Tokyo.
**[00:07] N**
Let's see how she's doing.
**[00:09] N**
Oh? She's at home, being cranky.
**[00:12] N**
She seems to be on edge after
losing big at half-yen pachinko.
**[00:17] N**
It's best to leave her
alone at times like this.
**[00:20] Tatami**
Damn it, I'm so pissed!
**[00:23] Tatami**
Nothing's gone right since I came to Tokyo!
**[00:25] Tatami**
I can't take it!
**[00:26] Tatami**
I can't take it anymore!
**[00:27] Landlord**
She's cranky.
**[00:29] Priest**
You lost horribly at pachinko?
**[00:31] Tatami**
What do you want?
**[00:32] Tatami**
Leave me alone!
**[00:33] Tatami**
I'm in a bad mood right now!
**[00:35] Landlord**
Tatami-chan, do something
to take your mind off it.
**[00:38] Priest**
We were planning to go to Room 201 to
hear Inanogawa-san's horror stories.
**[00:43] Tatami**
Inanogawa-san's horror stories?
**[00:46] Inanogawa**
I'm Inanogawa.
**[00:49] Priest**
Inanogawa-san, would you mind
**[00:50] Priest**
telling Tatami-chan one of your
horror stories to cheer her up?
**[00:53] Inanogawa**
Understood.
**[00:55] Inanogawa**
I'll tell you one of my
terrifying horror stories.
**[00:58] Landlord**
Hustle! Hustle!
**[01:00] Tatami**
Are horror stories supposed
to make you feel better?
**[01:02] Inanogawa**
This story is about my friend's
friend's friend's friend.
**[01:09] Tatami**
That's pretty distant.
**[01:10] Inanogawa**
This really is a scary story.
**[01:13] Priest**
What exactly happened?
**[01:15] Inanogawa**
I'm scared to even speak of it.
**[01:18] Inanogawa**
I don't know...
**[01:19] Inanogawa**
Maybe I shouldn't...
**[01:21] Tatami**
You've got me interested.
**[01:22] Inanogawa**
This story can put the
storyteller's life in jeopardy.
**[01:27] Landlord**
How horrible.
**[01:29] Inanogawa**
You can't take horror
stories lightly. Got it?
**[01:32] Inanogawa**
Terrible things can befall the storyteller,
as well as the audience.
**[01:36] Tatami**
Get to it, damn it!
**[01:37] Inanogawa**
This happened about ten years ago.
**[01:40] Priest**
Oh?
**[01:41] Inanogawa**
Ten years ago...
**[01:42] Inanogawa**
Wait, was it five years ago?
**[01:44] Landlord**
Five years ago!
**[01:45] Inanogawa**
No, was it a year ago?
**[01:48] Priest**
A year ago?
**[01:49] Inanogawa**
Ah, maybe it was a month ago.
**[01:51] Landlord**
A month ago!
**[01:52] Inanogawa**
Was it yesterday?
**[01:53] Tatami**
Hurry up, you bastard!
**[01:55] Priest**
Hustle! Hustle!
**[01:56] Tatami**
Jeez, give me a break, you guys.
**[01:58] Tatami**
I'm bummed out, right now.
**[02:00] Tatami**
I want to be by myself.
**[02:01] Inanogawa**
Oh? You aren't interested?
**[02:03] Inanogawa**
What shall I do about my horror story?
**[02:06] Landlord**
Please, Tatami-chan,
you're being rude to Inanogawa-san.
**[02:09] Tatami**
Forget the horror story.
**[02:11] Inanogawa**
Thank goodness.
**[02:12] Inanogawa**
I might die from telling that
horror story and I almost did.
**[02:15] Tatami**
Seriously, what's your deal?
**[02:17] Priest**
No, Inanogawa-san,
please tell us your horror story.
**[02:21] Inanogawa**
Are you sure?
**[02:22] Tatami**
Can I go home, already?
**[02:24] Inanogawa**
Well, then, let's get back in
the mood and tell the story.
**[02:27] Landlord**
Here we go!
**[02:29] Inanogawa**
This was around the beginning of February.
**[02:32] Inanogawa**
It sure so cold.
**[02:34] Inanogawa**
And when it's cold, you start
craving a warm bowl of ramen.
**[02:38] Priest**
Yes, ramen.
**[02:39] Inanogawa**
Hot pot's good, too.
**[02:43] Tatami**
Dude.
**[02:44] Inanogawa**
Oden's great, too.
**[02:45] Tatami**
Is this guy actually going
to tell a horror story?!
**[02:48] Inanogawa**
I wouldn't want shaved ice when it's cold.
**[02:50] Landlord**
Hustle! Hustle!
**[02:52] Priest**
Inanogawa-san, please!
**[02:54] Inanogawa**
Now I'm going to tell you
my terrifying horror story.
**[02:57] Tatami**
Whatever, let's hear it.
**[02:59] Inanogawa**
This is one of my most frightening horror
stories. I don't even want to tell it.
**[03:04] Priest**
Really?!
**[03:04] Inanogawa**
This is something that really happened to me.
**[03:09] Inanogawa**
I don't know, I'm scared.
This is bad. I'm scared.
**[03:12] Tatami**
Damn it, please! Please! Inanogawa-san!
**[03:14] Inanogawa**
So scary!
**[03:15] Tatami**
I was frustrated, but I'm
starting to feel better!
**[03:17] Priest**
That's great, Tatami-chan.
**[03:19] Landlord**
I'm glad Inanogawa-san's horror
story helped you feel better.
**[03:22] Tatami**
He never told us his horror story!
**[03:23] Inanogawa**
That's great.
**[03:25] Inanogawa**
Before you go, how about a scary story
**[03:27] Inanogawa**
that'll bring you bad luck
for having listened to it?
**[03:29] Tatami**
Hell no!
# E4 - Karaoke Party of One
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GRVDVQWDR/karaoke-party-of-one)
Translator:
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***SIGN*** The House Spirit
Tatami-chan
***SIGN*** Episode 4: "Karaoke Party of One"
**[00:04] N**
Tatami-chan is enjoying karaoke today.
***SIGN*** Karaoke SOUND
**[00:09] N**
She seems to be getting
used to life in Tokyo.
**[00:11] N**
She's full of energy.
**[00:13] N**
She must feel comfortable
going out on her own.
**[00:15] N**
Will she not need anyone to
clap out the beat for her?
**[00:18] Tatami**
There are these karaoke
boxes all over Tokyo.
**[00:21] Tatami**
I'm going to master karaoke like
the young people these days.
**[00:26] Tatami**
All right, I'm all set.
**[00:37] Song**
*Dates, dates, fun dates*
**[00:41] Song**
*I want to go to the zoo*
**[00:47] Tatami**
Wh-What do you want?!
***SIGN*** Staff
**[00:48] Staff**
I'm just here to deliver
this melon soda for you.
**[00:53] Tatami**
I see.
**[00:54] Tatami**
My bad.
**[00:55] Tatami**
What?
**[00:56] Tatami**
Leave already.
**[00:58] Staff**
A girl's singing karaoke by herself.
**[01:01] Tatami**
Jeez!
**[01:02] Tatami**
What a rude employee.
**[01:04] Tatami**
Aren't you supposed to come here to sing?
**[01:06] Tatami**
Let's get back in the mood
and sing my heart out.
**[01:11] Tatami**
This is fun.
**[01:13] Tatami**
* Tickle, tickle, tickle,*
* tickle, sleep paralysis...*
**[01:16] Tatami**
What do you want?!
**[01:17] Staff**
Did you know?
**[01:18] Staff**
When you sing a song at karaoke,
the musician makes some money.
**[01:23] Tatami**
Really?
**[01:24] Tatami**
Not that I needed that information.
**[01:27] Tatami**
You're distracting me.
**[01:28] Staff**
What are you singing right now?
**[01:29] Tatami**
What? You laughed just now!
**[01:31] Staff**
I was just wondering what you're singing.
**[01:33] Tatami**
What?!
**[01:34] Staff**
Tickle, tickle, sleep paralysis?!
**[01:35] Tatami**
You're making fun of me, aren't you?!
**[01:37] Tatami**
Manager!
**[01:37] Tatami**
Bring me your manager!
**[01:39] Manager**
I'm the manager.
**[01:40] Staff**
Manager, do you know a song that goes,
"tickle, tickle, sleep paralysis"?
**[01:44] Manager**
I do not.
**[01:45] Manager**
You must be singing a rather obscure song.
**[01:48] Tatami**
What's wrong with you two?
**[01:49] Tatami**
Get out of the room, please!
**[01:51] Tatami**
What's wrong with this karaoke box?
**[01:54] Tatami**
Is it really that weird that
I'm singing by myself?
**[01:57] Tatami**
*Tickle, tickle...*
**[01:59] Tatami**
Dude!
**[02:00] Pink**
You're right. She's actually
singing by herself.
**[02:03] Blue**
It's that solo karaoke thing that
people are doing these days.
**[02:05] Tatami**
What do you want, damn it?
**[02:06] Tatami**
Do you want to hear me sing?
**[02:08] Tatami**
I get embarrassed, okay?
**[02:10] Tatami**
I don't like people watching me sing.
**[02:11] Manager**
I thought you might be lonely
singing by yourself.
**[02:13] Tatami**
No, man.
**[02:14] Orange**
We'll listen for you.
**[02:16] Pink**
We'll score your singing ability.
**[02:19] Tatami**
You don't need to.
**[02:20] Tatami**
Stop wasting my time and go away.
**[02:22] Blue**
Don't mind us. Just sing.
**[02:24] Pink**
Do you need us to clap out the rhythm?
**[02:26] Tatami**
What's wrong with you people?!
**[02:27] Tatami**
You're messed up!
**[02:28] Orange**
Singing by yourself... I wonder
if she doesn't have any friends.
**[02:31] Tatami**
Leave me alone!
**[02:32] Pink**
If you'd like, we offer friendship services.
**[02:37] Tatami**
What kind of service is that?
**[02:38] Tatami**
No, thank you.
**[02:39] Blue**
The service costs 100,000 yen.
**[02:41] Tatami**
That's expensive!
**[02:42] Manager**
Encore!
**[02:44] Tatami**
"Encore," my ass.
**[02:45] Tatami**
Are the staff here going to get in the
way of a customer having fun singing?
**[02:49] Tatami**
Why do you do that?
**[02:51] Manager**
What?!
**[02:51] Tatami**
No, don't "what?!" me.
**[02:52] Tatami**
I'm asking you to leave.
**[02:55] Orange**
Will you let us hear you sing?
**[02:56] Tatami**
I never said that!
**[02:57] Manager**
Our task, as the karaoke box staff,
is to ensure that you have a good time.
**[03:01] Manager**
We can't just let a girl sing by herself.
**[03:04] Tatami**
I don't need your pity.
**[03:06] Tatami**
Screw it! The bill!
**[03:08] Tatami**
Bring me the bill!
**[03:09] Pink**
There's a fun song playing.
**[03:11] Blue**
Here we go!
**[03:12] Pink**
If you're going to sing, you might as well
have an audience to make it more fun.
**[03:15] Manager**
We ought to have some fun.
**[03:17] Manager**
We're all tired from working every day.
**[03:19] Manager**
Heal us with your song.
**[03:21] Orange**
That's right, that's right!
**[03:22] Orange**
He's totally right!
**[03:23] Tatami**
I was here for some
me-time, singing karaoke.
**[03:26] Tatami**
How did it come to this?!
**[03:27] Tatami**
Damn it!
**[03:58] Orange**
You suck.
**[03:59] Tatami**
Hey!
# E5 - Do You Know Social Media?
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/G60XPK97R/do-you-know-social-media)
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***SIGN*** The House Spirit
Tatami-chan
***SIGN*** Episode 5: "Do You Know Social Media?"
**[00:05] N**
SNS stands for Social Networking Service.
**[00:09] N**
I have no idea what that means.
**[00:12] N**
Let's see if Tatami-chan understands
the value of those services.
**[00:18] Landlord**
I look so Instagrammable.
**[00:20] Tatami**
What are you up to, Landlady?
**[00:22] Landlord**
Look at this feature.
**[00:24] Landlord**
It cleans up your face so that
you look cute in your photos.
**[00:27] Tatami**
Oh, you're right.
**[00:28] Tatami**
It made your scary eyes bigger.
**[00:30] Tatami**
You look even creepier, though.
**[00:32] Landlord**
Apps like this have been
popping up everywhere.
**[00:34] Landlord**
Taking photos with your phone is fun.
**[00:37] Priest**
We're posting our adorable
photos on SNS sites.
**[00:41] Tatami**
SNS is that thing, right?
**[00:43] Tatami**
Social networking?
**[00:45] Landlord**
I'm surprised you know about that.
**[00:46] Tatami**
Why would you post your
face on social media?
**[00:50] Priest**
Currently, the world is
all about asserting yourself.
**[00:53] Tatami**
Why would you assert yourself?
**[00:54] Landlord**
Because that's the way
the world is right now.
**[00:56] Tatami**
Is there something good about posting
your photos for the world to see?
**[01:00] Landlord**
It's fun, showing the world the
things you think are good.
**[01:05] Tatami**
Why?
**[01:06] Landlord**
Why?
**[01:07] Landlord**
Because you're finding agreement
with complete strangers.
**[01:10] Priest**
It's person-to-person communication.
**[01:12] Priest**
Humans crave connection
through communication.
**[01:16] Tatami**
Humans need communication to get by?
**[01:20] Landlord**
Well, no, they don't need it, but...
**[01:23] Tatami**
So it's an age when people value
their connection with other people.
**[01:26] Priest**
That's right.
**[01:27] Priest**
It's a beautiful age, when things that were
unthinkable in the past are now possible.
**[01:31] Landlord**
It's a warm age, when we can feel
the connection between people.
**[01:36] Tatami**
But, but...
**[01:37] ---**
What?
**[01:37] Tatami**
That feature that cleans up your face is fakery,
so you're basically lying to strangers.
**[01:44] Landlord**
It's not good to think
about such dumb things.
**[01:48] Tatami**
Do you feel warmth in lying to people?
**[01:51] Landlord**
Well...
**[01:51] Priest**
Well, it's more of a little white lie.
**[01:53] Priest**
What does it matter if
everyone's having fun?
**[01:55] Tatami**
So why would you care about
impressing people like that?
**[01:58] Priest**
You aren't necessarily
trying to impress people.
**[02:00] Tatami**
Is it attention seeking?
**[02:02] Priest**
Attention seeking?
**[02:05] Tatami**
Do you want to become famous?
**[02:06] Priest**
No, not particularly.
**[02:08] Tatami**
Are you doing it because you're lonely?
**[02:09] Priest**
Lonely?
**[02:10] Priest**
You don't necessarily do it
because you're lonely.
**[02:12] Tatami**
So you aren't lonely?
**[02:14] Priest**
I-I'm not doing it because I'm lonely.
**[02:17] Landlord**
I am lonely.
**[02:18] Tatami**
You are?
**[02:19] Landlord**
I'm so lonely!
**[02:20] Tatami**
There, there.
**[02:21] Landlord**
I hope a handsome man will discover
my beautiful photos and contact me!
**[02:26] Priest**
You're quite honest, aren't you?
**[02:27] Landlord**
And what about you?
**[02:28] Landlord**
Why do you use social media?
**[02:30] Priest**
Um, I just want interpersonal connections.
**[02:33] Landlord**
You want the same thing, don't you?!
**[02:36] Tatami**
Are you also hoping to
find someone, Tickling Priest?
**[02:39] Priest**
I'd be lying if I said no.
**[02:41] Tatami**
What are you really trying to do?
**[02:43] Landlord**
I want to meet someone.
**[02:44] Landlord**
I want to meet a man so we can make love,
our bodies touching one another's!
**[02:48] Priest**
Bodies?
**[02:49] Priest**
Earthly desires of the flesh!
**[02:51] Landlord**
This world is rife with
desires of the flesh!
**[02:53] Tatami**
Are you filled with desires of
the flesh, you trashy priest?
**[02:55] Priest**
I am filled with desires of the flesh!
**[02:57] Priest**
I want to tickle girls that
I meet on social media!
**[02:59] Landlord**
You said it.
**[03:00] Tatami**
So you've both been trying to
impress people on social media
**[03:02] Tatami**
to satisfy your desires.
**[03:04] Landlord**
That's right!
**[03:05] Landlord**
I want to meet a handsome man to ****!
**[03:08] Priest**
I-I want to tickle someone and letch on her!
**[03:11] Landlord**
I want to become animalistic!
**[03:14] Priest**
I, too!
**[03:15] Landlord**
Lonely... I'm so lonely.
**[03:17] Priest**
I, too, would like to become
close with a young woman!
**[03:22] Tatami**
I see, I see.
**[03:23] Tatami**
You're both on social media
because you're horny.
**[03:28] Tatami**
That's what I figured.
# E6 - Hot Guy Hell and Mixers
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GRZJ80796/hot-guy-hell-and-mixers)
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***SIGN*** The House Spirit
Tatami-chan
***SIGN*** Episode 6: "Hot Guy Hell and Mixers"
**[00:05] N**
Tatami-chan finds her way to a mixer.
**[00:09] N**
It's only natural for lonely
souls to try to find love.
**[00:14] N**
Tatami-chan is having a rough time in Tokyo.
**[00:16] N**
She definitely must want
to meet someone nice.
**[00:19] A**
I'm a hot guy in the apparel business.
**[00:21] B**
I'm a man-whore in the IT business.
**[00:24] C**
I work as a consultant.
**[00:26] C**
We're at a fun mixer today!
**[00:28] A**
Today, I'm taking home a
hot chick to make out with.
**[00:32] C**
That's right.
**[00:33] C**
We go through women one after another.
**[00:36] C**
We're bad boys.
**[00:37] B**
To prepare for the mixer today,
not only did I shampoo my hair,
**[00:40] B**
I even used conditioner.
**[00:42] A**
That's a coincidence.
I used a two-in-one, too.
**[00:45] C**
Mine's a one-in-one.
**[00:47] B**
That's so hip.
**[00:49] A**
No chick's ever going to resist us.
**[00:52] B**
Looks like the girls are here.
**[00:57] C**
M-Monsters!
***SIGN*** Lust
**[00:58] B**
How could this be?!
**[00:59] B**
We're at a mixer with monsters!
**[01:03] Landlady**
What fine men!
**[01:05] Landlady**
I shall kiss the crest of your neck.
**[01:08] Tatami**
Chill out, landlady.
**[01:09] Tatami**
You're going to scare the dudes
away if you're too desperate.
**[01:12] Okiku**
The night has come for
me to lose my virginity.
**[01:15] A**
Wh-Who the hell are you?!
**[01:17] Tatami**
Who are we, you ask?
**[01:18] Tatami**
We are none other than
the girls at your mixer!
**[01:22] A**
Um...
**[01:22] A**
So what do you monsters do?
**[01:24] Landlady**
How rude!
**[01:25] Landlady**
We aren't monsters, you uncouth jerks.
**[01:28] Landlady**
I'll drag my claws across your skin!
**[01:30] A**
Ow!
**[01:32] Tatami**
I'm Tatami-chan, the house spirit.
**[01:34] Tatami**
Nice to meet you.
**[01:35] Okiku**
I'm Okiku-chan, the Japanese doll
whose hair grows on its own.
**[01:39] Okiku**
I permed my hair for today.
**[01:41] B**
Oh, God, it's a house spirit,
a Japanese doll, and an old hag.
**[01:45] B**
This mixer couldn't go any worse.
**[01:48] Landlady**
Who are you calling an
old hag, you d*ckweed!
**[01:50] Landlady**
Take this!
**[01:51] B**
She's sucking on my neck!
**[01:54] Tatami**
I see.
**[01:55] Tatami**
So *this* is how people in Tokyo hook up.
**[01:59] Okiku**
Hey, who should we pick?
**[02:01] Okiku**
Let's choose.
**[02:02] Landlady**
This man is my type.
**[02:04] Landlady**
I won't let you go.
**[02:06] Tatami**
I'll pass on all of them.
**[02:08] C**
They have control of the situation.
**[02:10] C**
We've let them take over!
**[02:11] Okiku**
Hey, misters, who's the prettiest among us?
**[02:16] C**
Would you actually go there?
**[02:18] Landlady**
I am, obviously.
**[02:20] B**
Definitely not this hag.
**[02:21] Landlady**
What did you just say?!
**[02:23] B**
Could you please give me some space?
**[02:25] Landlady**
I'm going to feel you up!
***SIGN*** Lust
**[02:27] A**
This mixer is hellish.
**[02:29] A**
It's *actually* hell!
**[02:30] B**
Have you heard of the Women's Mixer 5S's?
**[02:33] Tatami**
The 5 S's?
**[02:35] Landlady**
Indeed, I have.
**[02:36] Landlady**
S for "Slobbering all over."
**[02:38] A**
No, that's "S for Super."
**[02:41] Landlady**
S for "Shitty men."
**[02:43] B**
That can't be right.
**[02:44] Landlady**
S for "Let me Suck you."
**[02:46] C**
It's S for "So awesome."
**[02:48] Landlady**
S for...
**[02:49] Okiku**
S...
**[02:50] Landlady**
S for
"Let me have Sex with you!"
**[02:53] A**
I'm out.
**[02:54] A**
I can't take this anymore!
**[02:55] Landlady**
S for "Screwed the pooch!"
**[02:57] B**
I'm done, too!
**[02:59] B**
I'm out of here!
**[03:00] C**
Run! Run for your lives!
**[03:02] C**
A mixer with monsters just isn't worth it!
**[03:04] Okiku**
Those dazzling men are running away.
**[03:06] Okiku**
No, you don't!
**[03:07] C**
I'm caught in her drapes and carpet!
**[03:09] Landlady**
You aren't getting away.
**[03:10] Landlady**
I'm going to put all three
of you into kissy hell!
**[03:18] C**
H-Help me!
**[03:20] C**
Daddy!
***SIGN*** Lust
**[03:21] C**
Mommy!
**[03:22] Tatami**
So this is a mixer, huh?
**[03:24] Tatami**
It's so fun.
**[03:25] Tatami**
You get drunk and torment douchebags.
***SIGN*** No Vacancy
***SIGN*** No Vacancy
# E7 - Tickling Priest's Meditation Group
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GYQW1N4GY/tickling-priests-meditation-group)
Translator:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** The House Spirit
Tatami-chan
***SIGN*** Episode 7: "Tickling Priest's Meditation Group"
**[00:04] N**
What do you suppose those
nincompoops are up to today?
**[00:08] N**
Do you know that thing
where you go to a temple
**[00:11] N**
and have a priest whack you on the shoulder?
**[00:13] N**
Yeah, that thing.
**[00:14] N**
That's what they're doing today.
**[00:16] N**
Then again, I'm sure they
aren't doing it properly.
**[00:19] Priest**
You lustful nincompoops...
**[00:22] Priest**
Today is the day you meditate
and reflect on yourselves.
**[00:25] Tatami**
You seem like an actual priest for once.
**[00:27] Priest**
Of course I am.
**[00:28] Priest**
I *am* a priest.
**[00:30] Tatami**
What? Really?
**[00:32] Landlady**
You are?
**[00:33] Tatami**
Indeed.
**[00:34] Priest**
Wait, what did you think I was?
**[00:36] Tatami**
I thought you were the tickling priest.
**[00:38] Okiku**
A pervy, NEET horny priest.
**[00:41] Priest**
H-How dare you?!
**[00:42] Landlady**
A hobo late on his rent
payments and mired in debt.
**[00:44] Priest**
Shush, you!
**[00:45] Priest**
Close your eyes and focus!
**[00:48] Tatami**
What a pain.
**[00:49] Tatami**
Ow!
**[00:50] Priest**
Now, focus your mind until
this incense burns up.
**[00:55] Priest**
Disturbances of posture and breathing
are disturbances of the mind.
**[00:58] Priest**
Those who lose focus will be
disciplined with this stick.
**[01:06] Tatami**
Ow!
**[01:06] Priest**
You fell asleep the moment we started.
**[01:08] Priest**
You are inadequate as a human being!
**[01:10] Tatami**
I can't help that I'm sleepy.
**[01:11] Tatami**
I'm not even human, anyway.
**[01:13] Priest**
No talking back!
**[01:14] Tatami**
Ow!
**[01:15] Tatami**
This asshole priest hit me!
**[01:17] Okiku**
This is violence.
**[01:19] ---**
Now, focus!
**[01:20] Landlady**
Damn it. Why do I need to take part in
helping this old fart with his pastimes?
**[01:24] Priest**
Did you say something?
**[01:26] Priest**
Did you click your tongue?
**[01:27] Landlady**
No! Stop this!
**[01:30] Priest**
I'll wiggle my fingers!
**[01:32] Priest**
I'll tickle you with my fingers!
**[01:33] ---**
Please, not that!
**[01:36] Tatami**
Come on.
**[01:37] Priest**
What is it?
**[01:39] Priest**
You all are overflowing
with earthly desires.
**[01:42] Priest**
I'm going to set you straight
through this meditation.
**[01:45] Okiku**
You're just assuming
we have earthly desires.
**[01:47] Priest**
No talking back!
**[01:48] Okiku**
Ow!
**[01:50] Okiku**
If you don't want to be disciplined,
you will rid your mind of all distractions.
**[02:03] Priest**
Desires.
**[02:04] Priest**
You're overflowing with desires.
**[02:10] Priest**
Meep, meep, meep.
**[02:16] Priest**
Meep, meep, meep.
**[02:21] Priest**
Feather touch.
**[02:27] Priest**
Jeez, what's your problem?
**[02:31] Priest**
Tickle, tickle, tickle!
**[02:35] Priest**
What are you doing?!
**[02:37] Tatami**
Dude, what are you doing,
you asshole priest?
**[02:38] Priest**
Concentrate!
**[02:41] Okiku**
Hey! We were all focused on ridding
ourselves of bad thoughts.
**[02:45] Priest**
Tickle, tickle, tickle!
**[02:48] Priest**
That's what you get for succeeding
in mindful meditation!
**[02:51] Tatami**
You're the one who told us to do it!
**[02:54] Priest**
Did I, now?
**[02:57] Landlady**
Enough!
**[02:58] Landlady**
You're just looking for
an excuse to tickle us!
**[03:00] Priest**
That's right. I want to tickle you.
**[03:02] Tatami**
What?!
**[03:03] Priest**
I can't help but want to tickle you!
**[03:04] Landlady**
I said not to tickle me!
**[03:06] Priest**
No!
**[03:06] Okiku**
No?
**[03:07] Priest**
No!
**[03:08] Priest**
I seriously want to tickle you!
**[03:12] Priest**
Tickle, tickle, tickle!
**[03:15] Landlady**
That tickles!
**[03:16] Tatami**
You bastard!
**[03:17] Tatami**
You scolded us for having earthly desires,
but you're the one with the most!
**[03:22] Priest**
How dare you?!
**[03:23] Priest**
Tickle, tickle, tickle!
**[03:25] Priest**
Tickle, tickle, tickle!
**[03:27] Priest**
Tickle, tickle, tickle!
**[03:28] Priest**
Tickle, tickle, tickle!
# E8 - A Party of Monsters!
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GYG5QW1DY/a-party-of-monsters)
Translator:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** The House Spirit
Tatami-chan
***SIGN*** Episode 8: "A Party of Monsters!"
**[00:04] N**
What are the cranky monsters
of Tokyo up to today?
**[00:09] N**
What's this? A drinking party?
**[00:11] N**
Look at them, thinking they're human.
**[00:14] N**
It's a fun get-together.
**[00:17] Tatami**
It's a monster mash!
**[00:19] Tatami**
I guess even in Tokyo, I end up
getting along with monsters.
**[00:24] Green**
We're all living modestly on the
outskirts of human society.
**[00:27] Green**
We should stick together.
**[00:28] Yuki**
We can find joy in standing side by side.
**[00:34] Okiku**
This kind of a drinking party
isn't bad, for a change.
**[00:36] Ghost**
It helps me not to feel lonely.
**[00:39] Tickle**
Hey, where's the gristle karaage?
**[00:41] Landlady**
Where's my highball?
**[00:43] Tickle**
What are the staff here doing?
**[00:45] Tatami**
Those two have such short fuses.
**[00:47] Tatami**
They get angry so quickly.
**[00:49] Okiku**
I'm buzzed.
**[00:51] Yuki**
Everyone's got a lot to be frustrated about.
**[00:53] Ghost**
Licking each other's wounds is a
necessary ritual in our lives.
**[00:58] Tatami**
Anyway, thanks for being friends with this
country bumpkin from the middle of nowhere.
**[01:01] Tatami**
Now, let's call it a day.
**[01:03] Tatami**
I'm getting sleepy.
***SIGN*** Total
**[01:06] Tatami**
Seriously? Thirty-five thousand yen?
**[01:09] Tatami**
We spent quite a bit.
**[01:10] Yuki**
If we split it, that works out
to exactly 5,000 yen each.
**[01:13] Ghost**
So much...
**[01:14] Tickle**
My wallet hurts.
**[01:16] Tatami**
That ghost bounced!
**[01:19] Tatami**
She just vanished into thin air!
**[01:20] Green**
Who does she think she is?
**[01:21] Landlady**
I'm going to punish her
with a crotch stomp later.
**[01:23] Okiku**
I have no money, you know?
**[01:26] Tatami**
Say what?
**[01:27] Okiku**
I'm a doll, after all.
**[01:28] Green**
You've got some nerve, coming to
a drinking party with no money.
**[01:32] Yuki**
Let's do 7,000 yen each for
the five of us, then.
**[01:35] Tatami**
You've got to be kidding me.
**[01:36] Landlady**
Just a second.
**[01:37] Landlady**
Shouldn't the men pay more?
**[01:40] Yuki**
Oh, that's true.
**[01:41] Tickle**
Whoa, are you serious?
**[01:44] Landlady**
The women will pay 3,000 each,
and the men can pay the rest.
**[01:48] Yuki**
That'll be 13,000 yen each for the men.
**[01:52] Tatami**
Good thing I'm a girl!
**[01:54] Green**
I can't agree to that.
**[01:55] Green**
I wasn't even here from the beginning.
**[01:57] Landlady**
So you'll pay the same as the women, then?
**[01:59] Green**
I don't have money.
**[02:01] Tatami**
You were the one who talked about the nerves
of people who go drinking with no money!
**[02:05] Yuki**
That means Tickling Priest
will have to pay 26,000 yen.
**[02:09] Tickle**
This is wrong! This is wrong! This is wrong!
**[02:11] Landlady**
Speaking of which, you actually drank the most.
**[02:14] Landlady**
Shouldn't you pay more?
**[02:16] Yuki**
How dare you?!
**[02:17] Tickle**
She's right!
**[02:18] Tickle**
You drank lots and ate the most!
**[02:21] Tickle**
You ought to pay more than all of us!
**[02:23] Tatami**
That's true.
**[02:24] Tatami**
You were the biggest pig here.
**[02:27] Yuki**
Y-You suck!
**[02:28] Yuki**
This was such a fun party!
**[02:34] Tatami**
Oh, come on!
**[02:35] Landlady**
Oh, dear.
**[02:36] Landlady**
What happened?
**[02:37] Landlady**
Where did she vanish to?
**[02:39] Landlady**
Maybe she went to the washroom.
**[02:41] Landlady**
The washroom is over here.
**[02:44] Tickle**
Hey, now, where are you going?!
**[02:46] Tickle**
That old hag pulled a dine and dash!
**[02:48] Tatami**
You're all losers.
**[02:50] Tickle**
It's down to just you and me, Tatami-chan.
**[02:53] Tickle**
The two of us are going to
have to pay 17,500 each.
**[02:56] Tatami**
I'm underage.
**[02:58] Tatami**
I only had orange juice.
**[02:59] Tickle**
The party was fun, was it not?
**[03:01] Tickle**
It's not a high price to pay
for all the fun we had!
**[03:05] Tatami**
I don't know. I think it was
only worth about 50 yen.
**[03:09] Tickle**
Fool!
**[03:10] Tickle**
How exactly do you evaluate our friendship?!
**[03:12] Tatami**
Shut up, you old fogey!
**[03:15] Tatami**
Later!
**[03:17] Tickle**
Don't "later" me!
**[03:18] Tickle**
Damn it, she got away!
**[03:20] Green**
You've been had.
**[03:22] Tickle**
Damn. "Stick together," my ass.
**[03:25] Tickle**
Monsters are such terrible people.
**[03:28] Green**
We aren't people.
# E9 - Coup Coup Coup Couple Coucouple Ouples
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GRJ0GEW5Y/coup-coup-coup-couple-coucouple-ouples)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** The House Spirit
Tatami-chan
***SIGN*** Episode 9: "Coup Coup Coup Couple Coucouple Ouples"
**[00:05] N**
A couple is quarreling at the station.
**[00:08] N**
She is crying in grief with
her arms around her legs.
**[00:11] N**
He is consoling her,
but seems irritated.
**[00:14] N**
It's not an uncommon sight, is it?
**[00:16] N**
What's this? It looks like Tatami-chan's
curious about one such couple.
**[00:21] Tatami**
Yo, check that out.
**[00:23] Landlady**
It looks like that couple is fighting.
**[00:26] Tatami**
I've seen that a lot since I came to Tokyo.
**[00:28] Tatami**
Why do couples always fight at the station?
**[00:31] Landlady**
I envy them.
**[00:33] Landlady**
I don't even have anyone
to get in a fight with.
**[00:36] Landlady**
Those bastards...
**[00:37] Tatami**
Uh oh, the girl's crying.
**[00:40] Landlady**
The man looks irritated.
**[00:43] Tatami**
That's how it usually is, isn't it?
**[00:44] Tatami**
The girl's upset, and the
guy's talking her down.
**[00:47] Landlady**
I wish to be consoled, too.
**[00:49] Tatami**
Let's go ask them,
**[00:51] Tatami**
"Why are you fighting in public like that?"
**[00:53] Landlady**
It's not a good idea to get involved.
**[00:57] Tatami**
Why not?
**[00:58] Tatami**
Maybe the girl's being bullied by the guy.
**[01:01] Landlady**
I don't think we should just jump in.
**[01:05] Tatami**
Hey, you guys, why are you fighting?
**[01:08] Guy**
What do you want?
**[01:10] Tatami**
You made that girl cry.
**[01:12] Tatami**
You aren't bullying her, are you?
**[01:13] Guy**
I'm not bullying her.
**[01:15] Landlady**
Why are you grieving so?
**[01:17] Girl**
Leave me alone!
**[01:18] Girl**
What's wrong with these people?
**[01:20] Tatami**
Oy, dude, what did you do to her?
**[01:23] Girl**
We had a date today.
**[01:25] Girl**
A really fun date.
**[01:27] Girl**
But she got upset on the way home.
**[01:29] Tatami**
Why did she get upset?
**[01:30] Tatami**
Did you ask her why?
**[01:32] Guy**
That's the thing, she won't tell me.
**[01:34] Tatami**
Hey, why are you upset?
**[01:36] Tatami**
You have a problem with this guy, don't you?
**[01:40] Tatami**
Jeez, what a pain in the ass.
**[01:42] Tatami**
We aren't getting anywhere unless
you tell us what's wrong.
**[01:45] Landlady**
You mustn't cry!
**[01:46] Landlady**
Smile!
**[01:49] Landlady**
Poor girl.
**[01:51] Landlady**
If only Tickling Priest were here
to tickle you and make you laugh.
**[01:54] Priest**
What are you dingleberries doing here?
**[01:58] Tatami**
It's the asshole priest.
**[01:59] Landlady**
Perfect timing.
**[02:02] Landlady**
Could you tickle this grieving
girl and make her laugh?
**[02:05] Priest**
I don't know about that.
**[02:07] Priest**
That sounds indecent.
**[02:08] Tatami**
What's with the goody two-shoes act?
**[02:10] Guy**
Who are you anyway?
**[02:11] Landlady**
We're trying to make things better for
a couple here at this station.
**[02:15] Tatami**
We were curious about
why you're fighting.
**[02:18] Priest**
This is a rather complicated phenomenon.
**[02:20] Priest**
It's an indication of how
different men and women are.
**[02:24] Tatami**
What are you even talking about?
**[02:26] Priest**
You, sir, enjoyed your date, did you not?
**[02:28] Guy**
Yeah, it was a perfect date.
**[02:30] Priest**
But what about you, ma'am?
**[02:32] Landlady**
Miss, do you have some grievances
with your man today?
**[02:36] Priest**
Perhaps he said something he shouldn't have?
**[02:40] Priest**
Or maybe he chewed loudly when he ate.
**[02:44] Priest**
Does that sound plausible?
**[02:45] Priest**
Indeed, men are blissfully ignorant
creatures, far too forgiving of all.
**[02:49] Priest**
Meanwhile, women are sensitive creatures.
**[02:52] Landlady**
I see.
**[02:53] Landlady**
You shouldn't want to end
your date on a bad note.
**[02:56] Tatami**
That's why you get into fights at the
station, right before you part ways.
**[02:59] Tatami**
That makes sense.
**[03:00] Priest**
So, sir, you must have done something wrong.
**[03:04] Priest**
You must apologize to the woman.
**[03:06] Girl**
No!
**[03:06] Girl**
It's nothing like that!
**[03:08] Landlady**
What?
**[03:08] Girl**
We aren't fighting.
**[03:10] Girl**
We're just showing off our lovers' quarrel.
**[03:13] Tatami**
Showing off to who?
**[03:13] Girl**
To all the passersby.
**[03:15] Guy**
Showing off?
**[03:16] Guy**
That might be right.
**[03:19] Girl**
We're showing off.
**[03:21] Girl**
We're showing off to the foolish masses.
**[03:24] Tatami**
You're a piece of work.
# E10 - Tatami-chan and the Furious Ramen Chef
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GR4P5QVEY/tatami-chan-and-the-furious-ramen-chef)
Translator:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** The House Spirit
Tatami-chan
***SIGN*** Episode 10: "Tatami-chan and the Furious Ramen Chef"
**[00:04] N**
Why do ramen shop owners have
their arms crossed in photos?
***SIGN*** Doroichi
**[00:09] N**
They think they're so important, you say?
**[00:11] N**
Of course they are.
**[00:12] N**
They dediate their lives to ramen,
so they must be important.
**[00:17] Landlady**
What shall I have?
**[00:19] Landlady**
Such an agonizing decision.
**[00:21] Chef**
Hurry up and choose.
**[00:22] Landlady**
Come on. Why are you rushing me?
**[00:24] Chef**
You have to choose, or you're
going to mess up my pace.
**[00:27] Landlady**
You're not very friendly, are you?
**[00:29] Chef**
You can leave if you don't like it!
**[00:31] Landlady**
I'll have shoyu ramen.
**[00:33] Chef**
And the soup?
**[00:33] Chef**
Rich? Light? Normal?
**[00:35] Chef**
A little rich?
**[00:36] Chef**
Really light?
**[00:36] Landlady**
What? What? What?
**[00:38] Chef**
How firm do you want the noodles?
**[00:39] Landlady**
H-How firm?
**[00:40] Chef**
Have you not done your research, lady?
**[00:42] Chef**
I don't need any half-assed customers.
**[00:47] Landlady**
Damn it!
**[00:49] Tatami**
Hey, I never knew there
was a ramen shop here.
**[00:52] Tatami**
I like the vibe here.
**[00:54] Tatami**
One shoyu ramen.
**[00:56] Chef**
Mega-firm? Kinda-firm? Soft-firm?
**[00:58] Tatami**
Huh? What? What language is that?
**[01:00] Chef**
Ridoncu-firm? Blobby-firm?
**[01:02] Tatami**
What? What? What?
**[01:03] Tatami**
Just give me normal.
**[01:04] Chef**
Ma'am, this is your first
time here, isn't it?
**[01:06] Tatami**
Why are you angry?
**[01:07] Chef**
I'm not angry.
**[01:08] Tatami**
You're kinda pissed!
**[01:10] Tatami**
What a dick.
**[01:11] Chef**
You can leave if you're going
to talk shit about me.
**[01:13] Chef**
I have a right to choose my customers.
**[01:14] Tatami**
Oh, really?
**[01:16] Tatami**
Where's my water?
**[01:18] Chef**
It's right there. Look. It's self-service.
**[01:20] Tatami**
So is this one of those prideful
ramen shops I've been hearing about.
**[01:23] Tatami**
What a pain in the ass.
**[01:28] Tatami**
You're getting it on me!
**[01:30] Tatami**
It's hot!
**[01:31] Chef**
Shut up. You're distracting me.
**[01:33] Tatami**
What a ridiculous ramen shop.
**[01:35] Chef**
There, shoyu ramen.
**[01:36] Tatami**
Hey, the chef's a jerk,
but the ramen looks decent.
**[01:40] Tatami**
I think I'll take a picture with my phone.
**[01:44] Chef**
Hey!
**[01:45] Chef**
No photos in my shop!
**[01:46] Tatami**
Give me a break, already.
**[01:48] Tatami**
Why are you so anal?
**[01:49] Tatami**
Would it kill you to be a little nicer?
**[01:51] Chef**
You don't need to eat it
if you don't like it.
**[01:53] Tatami**
Do you really want to talk
to your customers like that?
**[01:56] Tatami**
This is so sad, worrying about
your attitude while I'm eating.
**[01:58] Chef**
I take pride in my shop!
**[02:01] Tatami**
I don't have time for this!
**[02:03] Chef**
Hurry up and eat it before it gets cold!
**[02:05] Chef**
That's how you show your respect.
**[02:06] Tatami**
Fine, I'll start with the soup.
**[02:10] Tatami**
Hot!
**[02:11] Chef**
Hot?
**[02:12] Chef**
What do you mean, "hot"?
**[02:12] Tatami**
I said it's hot because it's hot.
**[02:14] Chef**
Hurry up and eat!
**[02:15] Chef**
Now!
**[02:16] Chef**
Eat it while it's hot and tell me it's good!
**[02:19] Tatami**
What's wrong with this shop?
**[02:20] Chef**
Hurry up and eat it and post on
social media that it's good.
**[02:23] Chef**
Make my shop go viral and
make me a ton of money!
**[02:26] Tatami**
You're completely shameless.
**[02:28] Tatami**
You're beyond prideful.
You're just a snotty, entitled prick.
**[02:32] Tatami**
What the hell?! This is awful!
**[02:36] Tatami**
This is awful, too!
**[02:37] Chef**
Say what?
**[02:37] Tatami**
None of this is edible.
**[02:39] Chef**
Are you dissing my perfection?
**[02:41] Tatami**
I'm going to give you bad
reviews on social media.
**[02:43] Chef**
Anything but that!
**[02:45] Tatami**
I expected way better from
a prideful ramen shop.
**[02:47] Chef**
I take pride in my work.
**[02:50] Tatami**
All you have is pride!
**[02:51] Chef**
Do you have a problem?
**[02:52] Tatami**
Yeah, I do.
**[02:53] Tatami**
How long has this place been open?
**[02:55] Chef**
I started yesterday.
**[02:56] Tatami**
Yesterday?
**[02:57] Tatami**
You have so much confidence,
I thought you were killing it.
**[02:59] Chef**
I have confidence.
**[03:01] Tatami**
So you opened a shop on
nothing but confidence?
**[03:03] Chef**
I opened it with confidence,
pride and a prideful attitude!
**[03:06] Tatami**
You don't need to say that so loud.
**[03:08] Chef**
I have confidence!
**[03:09] Tatami**
You shouldn't have confidence in this ramen!
**[03:13] Chef**
I thought that even as a monster, I could
open a prideful shop, like the humans do.
**[03:19] Tatami**
So you're one of us.
**[03:20] Tatami**
No wonder you're so awkward.
**[03:22] Chef**
Thank you!
**[03:23] Tatami**
Whatever, fine.
**[03:24] Tatami**
I'll root for you.
**[03:25] Chef**
Thank you.
**[03:27] Chef**
Was it good?
**[03:27] Tatami**
No, like I said, it wasn't...
**[03:28] Chef**
Would you like seconds?
**[03:29] Tatami**
Hell, no!
# E11 - Let's Read Some Fancy T-shirts!
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/G6P54JWD6/lets-read-some-fancy-t-shirts)
Translator:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** The House Spirit
Tatami-chan
***SIGN*** Episode 11: "Let's Read Some Fancy T-shirts!"
**[00:04] N**
What kind of designs do you have
on the clothes you're wearing?
**[00:08] N**
Illustrations?
**[00:09] N**
A logo of some kind?
**[00:11] N**
I hope you aren't wearing something
with words on it, are you?
**[00:14] N**
Well, my condolences.
**[00:16] N**
I pray that no one reads it out loud.
**[00:20] Okiku**
It's so hot today.
**[00:22] Tatami**
Man, Tokyo's packed with people
no matter where you go.
**[00:25] Tatami**
Look at all those people
wearing funny shirts.
**[00:29] Okiku**
I know.
**[00:30] Okiku**
It's so fascinating.
**[00:32] Ghost**
They look so awesome with the English logos.
**[00:36] Tatami**
What does that say?
**[00:39] Okiku**
It says "baseball."
**[00:41] Tatami**
Baseball?
**[00:42] Tatami**
Why does it say baseball on it?
**[00:44] Okiku**
He must like baseball.
***SIGN*** I L o v e T o k y o
**[00:51] Ghost**
That person's T-shirt is so fashionable, too.
**[00:54] Tatami**
"I love Tokyo," huh?
**[00:55] Okiku**
She's expressing her love
for Tokyo with her clothes.
**[00:59] Tatami**
Tokyo's a nice town, but I don't
think I'd go that far.
**[01:02] Okiku**
"I love Tokyo."
**[01:07] Ghost**
Look! It says "dangerous road."
**[01:10] Tatami**
"Dangerous road"!
**[01:11] Ghost**
"Dangerous road."
**[01:13] Tatami**
Woo! Dangerous!
**[01:15] Okiku**
A perilous path.
**[01:16] Okiku**
I wonder if he's trying to express
"perilous path" with his shirt.
**[01:19] Tatami**
That must be it.
**[01:20] Okiku**
He's trying to say his life
is on a perilous path.
**[01:28] Ghost**
"Working."
**[01:29] Tatami**
Working!
**[01:34] Okiku**
Look, it says "Jealousy."
**[01:39] Tatami**
One, two...
**[01:40] Tatami**
"Jealousy"!
**[01:42] Okiku**
Jealousy! Jealousy!
**[01:43] Ghost**
He must be prone to jealousy.
**[01:46] A**
Th-That wasn't my intention!
**[01:51] Tatami**
That one says "Happy!!"
**[01:53] Okiku**
He's trying to convince
people that he's happy.
**[01:57] Ghost**
He's rubbing it in the faces
of the people who aren't happy.
**[02:00] Tatami**
Maybe he's flexing how happy he is.
**[02:03] Okiku**
That must be it.
**[02:05] Ghost**
He must be a dick, then.
**[02:09] A**
D-Damn it!
**[02:11] A**
Damn it!
***SIGN*** H o t d o g
**[02:13] Tatami**
Look at that! It says "Hot dog"!
**[02:16] Tatami**
Hot dog!
**[02:18] Ghost**
He must really like hot dogs.
**[02:21] Tatami**
Definitely.
**[02:21] Tatami**
Otherwise he wouldn't wear
that hot dog T-shirt.
**[02:26] Tatami**
Hotdog! Hotdog!
**[02:28] Priest**
What are you three doing?
**[02:30] Tatami**
Tickling Priest.
**[02:31] Tatami**
People in Tokyo wear all
sorts of T-shirts, huh?
**[02:34] Priest**
Hold on. You guys are cruel,
reading the words on people's shirts.
**[02:39] Tatami**
How come?
**[02:40] Tatami**
We're reading them because they're cool.
**[02:43] Priest**
Well...
**[02:44] Priest**
I don't know.
**[02:45] Priest**
It embarrasses the people wearing them.
**[02:47] Okiku**
You're wearing a nice T-shirt,
too, Tickling Priest.
**[02:50] Priest**
Stop! Don't read it!
**[02:53] Tatami**
"I love you"!
**[02:54] Priest**
I said not to read it, damn it!
**[02:58] Tatami**
"I love you"!
**[02:59] Okiku**
What do you mean, "I love you"?
**[03:01] Tatami**
Yeah, you asshole priest.
What's "I love you" supposed to mean?
**[03:04] Priest**
I mean you.
**[03:05] Priest**
I love you three!
**[03:08] Tatami**
That's a lovely sentiment,
you asshole priest.
**[03:11] Okiku**
You're expressing your love
for us through your clothes.
**[03:14] Priest**
That's right.
**[03:15] Priest**
I love you!
**[03:16] Tatami**
You're flattering me, you asshole.
**[03:18] Priest**
I love you!
**[03:19] Priest**
I love you!
**[03:21] Priest**
I love you!
**[03:22] Priest**
I love you!
**[03:23] Landlord**
What are you people doing?
# E12 - It's a Halloween Party, Tatami-chan
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GY8DE0WJY/its-a-halloween-party-tatami-chan)
Translator:
Editor:
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QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** The House Spirit
Tatami-chan
***SIGN*** Episode 12: "It's a Halloween Party, Tatami-chan"
**[00:04] N**
There's a Halloween costume party tonight.
***SIGN*** Chow-chow
**[00:08] N**
What's this?
**[00:09] N**
There are rambunctious youths
causing a stir again.
**[00:13] N**
But why are they in Shibuya?
**[00:15] N**
Why do they always become
rowdy in Shibuya?
***SIGN*** B
a
b
y
**[00:29] Tatami**
Look at them go.
**[00:30] Tatami**
The youths of Shibuya are
making a ton of noise.
**[00:33] Landlady**
How terrifying...
**[00:34] Landlady**
Shibuya has been overrun by monsters.
**[00:37] Landlady**
It's the end of the world!
**[00:39] Snow**
Apparently, it's a costume
festival called Halloween.
**[00:42] Snow**
Shibuya's on fire.
**[00:44] Tatami**
What a bizarre event.
**[00:46] Tatami**
It looks fun, though.
**[00:49] Pumpkin**
Yo, what are you dressed as?
**[00:51] Pumpkin**
A nun?
**[00:52] Landlady**
How rude!
**[00:53] Landlady**
This is my usual outfit.
**[00:55] Landlady**
Fool!
**[00:55] Scream**
This old lady's really going for it.
**[00:57] Scream**
She's so pale, too.
**[00:59] Landlady**
I hate this city.
**[01:01] Landlady**
We must escape, quickly!
**[01:03] Tatami**
What does Halloween have to do with Shibuya?
**[01:06] Snow**
I don't know.
**[01:07] Snow**
They probably aren't related.
**[01:08] Tatami**
So why are they partying here?
**[01:11] Snow**
I don't think humans care where
they go, so long as they can party.
**[01:14] Tatami**
That's how it was during the
world soccer tournament, too.
**[01:17] Tatami**
They were going crazy at the intersection.
**[01:20] Snow**
There's a youth dancing there, too.
**[01:23] Tatami**
Hey, you there, what kind of dance is that?
**[01:26] Babby**
It's just a dance.
**[01:27] Tatami**
The justadance, huh?
**[01:29] Tatami**
I've never heard of it.
**[01:30] Landlady**
Look! A truck's been flipped over.
**[01:34] Landlady**
How terrible.
**[01:35] Snow**
I think they're getting
a little out of hand.
**[01:37] Tatami**
Humans sure do like going crazy.
**[01:39] Tatami**
Look, those strangers
are hugging each other.
**[01:42] Tatami**
They're usually so collected.
**[01:44] Tatami**
Look how much they change.
**[01:45] Snow**
Look, look.
**[01:46] Snow**
There was an explosion at that store.
**[01:47] Snow**
The party's turning extreme.
***SIGN*** Manager
**[01:51] Manager**
We're out of control!
**[01:53] Staff**
Time to blow off some steam!
***SIGN*** Staff
**[01:56] Tatami**
Those guys aren't in costume. They're real.
**[02:00] Priest**
Now's my chance to tickle the masses!
**[02:03] Dog**
I can walk the streets
with my head held high.
**[02:07] Tatami**
There are some monsters out there, too.
**[02:09] Tatami**
We don't have to worry about what
people think of us, either, huh?
**[02:12] Snow**
True.
**[02:13] Snow**
This is a comfortable
party for our kind, too.
**[02:15] Tatami**
Well, then, why don't we get out there, too?
**[02:18] Tatami**
Let's go!
**[02:20] Police**
Hey, rowdy youth, cease your rioting!
**[02:23] Landlady**
They've finally angered the police!
**[02:26] Tatami**
I can't get enough!
**[02:27] Tatami**
Woohoo! Anarchy!
**[02:30] Police**
Disband immediately, fools!
**[02:32] Police**
Disband!
**[02:33] Tatami**
Destruction!
**[02:37] Landlady**
Monsters and humans aren't
very different, are we?
**[02:40] Landlady**
This scene makes that abundantly clear.
**[02:42] Landlady**
We are no different in that we are
irrational, unpredictable creatures.
**[02:47] Tatami**
Party! Party! Woo!
**[02:49] Police**
Screw it all! You're all under arrest!
**[02:51] Police**
Under arrest!
**[02:52] Landlady**
Hey, what are you doing?!
**[02:53] Landlady**
I haven't done anything!
**[02:55] Landlady**
I was just walking by!
**[02:57] Police**
Walking by? Are you sure?
**[02:59] Police 2**
You look like you might
curse someone to death!
**[03:01] Landlady**
What prejudice!
**[03:03] Landlady**
This is why I can't stand the police!
**[03:04] Police**
Tie them all down!
**[03:06] Landlady**
Hey, don't!
**[03:07] Landlady**
Watch where you put your hands!
**[03:10] N**
This festival, held once a year,
**[03:13] N**
was one where the monsters and humans
get to know each other better.
**[03:17] N**
I suppose it's safe to say that
Tatami-chan is doing well in Tokyo.
**[03:24] N**
I look forward to seeing
**[03:25] N**
how much a part of the human world
she's become when next we see her.