Season 1

E1 - The 2 Girlfriends Who Really, Really, Really Love You (98 To Go)
Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Thanks for 3 great years!
    Middle School Graduation Ceremony
SIGN    Video           Photo           Square
[00:02] F. Teacher
    Congrats.
[00:02] All
    Yay!
[00:03] Girl
    There, there. No crying.
[00:05] Guy 1
    Hoo boy.
[00:06] Guy 1
    I gave away all my buttons.
[00:08] Guy 2
    O-Oh yeah? Well, I'm gonna start now.
[00:14] Rentaro
    Asakawa-san.
[00:16] Rentaro
    I like you! Please...
[00:18] Rentaro
    Go out with me!
[00:22] Asakawa
    Aijo-kun.
[00:25] Asakawa
    Same here.
[00:28] Asakawa
    You're so cheerful, friendly,
    and straightforward,
[00:31] Asakawa
    and you're incredibly nice to everyone.
[00:33] Asakawa
    And that's why I...
[00:37] Asakawa
    li...
[00:39] Asakawa
    I like you, too, but...
[00:41] Asakawa
    Just the idea of dating you
    makes me wanna puke.
[00:43] Asakawa
    I can't, sorry!
[00:44] Rentaro
    Way to go from "Sick!" to sick!
SIGN    Aijo Rentaro's
    Rejection Blues
[00:51] Rentaro
    A wild ride from heaven to hell.
[00:53] Rentaro
    It was the first ever rejection 
    that made me wanna die.
[00:56] Rentaro
    Today... my romance died.
[01:00] Friend A
    Cheer up, Rentaro.
SIGN    Friend A
[01:03] Friend A
    Quit looking like a doomer 
    falling into darkness, dude.
SIGN    Aijo Rentaro
[01:06] Rentaro
    What would that even look like?
[01:08] Friend A
    Like that.
[01:10] Friend A
    By the way, what's the rejection streak at now?
[01:13] Rentaro
    Why would you ask your heartbroken friend that?
[01:16] Friend A
    Cause I'm not gonna see you after today anyway!
[01:19] Rentaro
    Wow, now you've ruined
    every single memory we've ever shared!
[01:22] Rentaro
    That rejection was...
[01:24] Rentaro
    my one hundredth.
[01:26] Friend A
    I'm amazed you had the nerve
    to keep going after the first ninety-nine.
[01:31] Friend A
    I dub thee...
SIGN    Graduation Certificate
[01:32] Sign
    #Losing
[01:33] Friend A
    Sir Flirts-a-Lot.
SIGN    Sir Flirts-a-Lot
[01:35] Rentaro
    Stop that!
[01:36] Rentaro
    I don't deserve knighthood! All I do is lose!
[01:38] Friend A
    How'd you even get to 100?
    When did you first ask a girl out?
[01:42] Rentaro
    I'll never forget the day it happened.
[01:44] (Flashback) Rentarobaby
    A... A-tan...
[01:46] Rentaro
    I was eight months old.
[01:47] (Flashback) Rentarobaby
    Wub you!
[01:48] Friend A
    I take it back! You're no hero, just a monster!
[01:49] (Flashback) Aa-Tan
    No!
[01:50] (Flashback) Aa-Tan
    No, no!
[01:51] (Flashback) Aa-Tan
    No, no, no, no!
[01:53] Rentaro
    Guh, I want a girlfriend so bad!
[01:55] Rentaro
    I wanna hold hands and go all, like, "hngh!"
[01:57] Rentaro
    I wanna have fights throwing love bombs
    at each other instead of snowballs!
[02:00] Rentaro
    And I wanna have normal snowball fights, too!
[02:02] Friend A
    I really don't get it, though.
    Why do you keep getting rejected?
[02:06] Friend A
    You've got the looks,
    and you're smart and athletic.
[02:10] Friend A
    You're nice to everyone
[02:11] Friend A
    and popular with both boys and girls.
[02:13] Rentaro
    Talk about laying it on thick!
    Are you into me or something?
[02:16] Friend A
    Anyway, take care, Rentaro.
[02:19] Friend A
    Don't die, even if your rejection streak
    keeps going in high school.
[02:22] Rentaro
    Could you not jinx the next chapter
    in my life already, my good Friend A?!
SIGN    Find Love
SIGN    Find Love
SIGN    Find Love
SIGN    Find Love
[02:30] Rentaro
    I beg of you, gods of love and everything else!
[02:33] Rentaro
    Please let me land a girlfriend
    and lead a high school life filled with joy!
[02:40] Lovegod
    Worry not.
[02:45] Lovegod
    I'm over here.
SIGN    Offerings
[02:48] Rentaro
    Gah! A donation box thief!
[02:50] Lovegod
    What kind of thief shows up like this?!
[02:53] Lovegod
    I am the very god of this shrine.
[02:55] Rentaro
    What kind of god shows up like this?!
[03:00] Lovegod
    Worry not, Rentaro.
[03:02] Lovegod
    It is written in the stars that you'll meet
    your destined chick in high school.
SIGN    What's up with
    his hair...
[03:07] Rentaro
    My... destined chick?
[03:10] Lovegod
    Indeed.
[03:12] Rentaro
    No way! The chick...
[03:16] Rentaro
    Wait, now I get it. Chick, huh?
[03:21] Rentaro
    Like, Chick-filet, right? I'd love to dig in.
[03:24] Lovegod
    What are you, some kind of Ghoul From Tokyo?!
[03:26] Lovegod
    No, I mean your soulmate.
[03:29] Lovegod
    The person who was chosen for you at birth.
[03:33] Lovegod
    Your ideal romantic partner.
[03:37] Rentaro
    My ideal... romantic partner?
[03:40] Lovegod
    Exactly.
[03:41] Lovegod
    When two soulmates meet,
    a sudden shock runs through their bodies.
[03:46] Lovegod
    And they instantly fall
    head over heels for each other.
[03:49] Lovegod
    It'll be love at first sight, as they call it.
[03:52] Rentaro
    Head over heels... for each other?
[03:55] Lovegod
    Indeed.
[03:56] Lovegod
    But it bears noting that women
    will know the very moment this happens,
[04:01] Lovegod
    while men will only realize it
    gradually over time.
[04:05] Rentaro
    Women will the know the moment this happens,
[04:07] Rentaro
    while men only realize it over time?
[04:08] Lovegod
    So repetitive!
[04:10] Lovegod
    Quit repeating after me!
[04:13] Lovegod
    We've barely got enough time to cover
    everything we need to in episode one!
[04:16] Lovegod
    If people went, "Huh? I thought the god had
    more lines in the manga. Were they cut?"
[04:20] Lovegod
    that would royally suck! For me, especially!
[04:23] Rentaro
    O-Okay, let's move on!
[04:25] Lovegod
    And soulmates are fated to meet 
    at a specific point in their lives.
SIGN    "A god quick to switch gears"
[04:30] Rentaro
    Too quick to switch gears, even!
[04:32] Rentaro
    But what about the people 
    who remain single their whole life?
SIGN    "A boy quick to switch gears"
[04:35] Lovegod
    Of course, not everyone
    gets to have a soulmate.
[04:38] Lovegod
    The ones who do are truly blessed.
[04:43] Rentaro
    I see.
[04:44] Rentaro
    Anyway, I'll get to meet my soulmate in high
    school and have a joyful romance with them?
[04:50] Lovegod
    Indeed. And what's more...
[04:51] Lovegod
    In high school, you will meet a grand total
[04:55] Lovegod
    of one hundred soulmates!
[04:57] Rentaro
    A hundred?!
[04:59] Lovegod
    You'll have your pick of the girls.
    Aren't you happy?
[05:02] Rentaro
    A-Aw, come on... My pick?
[05:07] Rentaro
    If you're lying, can I burn down this shrine?
[05:09] Lovegod
    Gah! Some of my lines just got cut!
SIGN    1 Month Later
SIGN    Ohana-no-Mitsu High School
    Entrance Ceremony
SIGN    Name of
    the high school
    Rentaro enrolled at
    (Bet you didn't
    know that one)
[05:19] Rentaro
    Finally, the entrance ceremony!
[05:21] Rentaro
    Not that there was much waiting involved, 
    given we skipped here right after graduation.
[05:26] Rentaro
    Now, we head to our respective classes
[05:28] Rentaro
    to get a rundown of the school rules...
[05:32] Rentaro
    Ow, ow... Oh, sorry about that.
[05:35] Karane
    That hurt! Watch where you're going!
[05:36] Hakari
    Sorry. I should've been more careful, too.
SIGN    Krrrack!!!
[05:54] Karane
    Huh? Wh-What was that?
[05:57] Rentaro
    I just felt a shock run through 
    my whole body. Could it be...
[06:02] Rentaro
    Are they who god was talking about?
[06:04] Rentaro
    Are they...
[06:06] Rentaro
    my soulmates?
[06:09] Rentaro
    Ack!
[06:09] Rentaro
    Quit staring at them!
[06:11] Rentaro
    They don't know anything! 
    They're just gonna think I'm a weirdo!
[06:16] Rentaro
    Are...
[06:17] Rentaro
    Are you two okay?
[06:22] Karane
    Er...
[06:24] Rentaro
    Wh-What's wrong?
[06:26] Hakari
    My apologies. It appears I've twisted my ankle.
SIGN    Hnghhh <3
SIGN    Hnghhh <3
[06:30] Hakari
    Could you help me
    to the nurse's office, please?
[06:35] Rentaro
    O-Of course! How bad is it?
[06:37] Rentaro
    Does it hurt a lot?
[06:39] Hakari
    Oh, no! It's not too bad.
[06:41] Rentaro
    I'm so sorry. Like, for real!
[06:43] Rentaro
    What kinda jerk hurts his precious soulmate 
    as soon as he meets her?
[06:48] Rentaro
    Get your act together, damn it!
SIGN    Squeee!!
SIGN    Swoooooooooooooon
[06:52] Hakari
    He's crying so much, 
    just because he hurt a total stranger!
SIGN    Love is blind.
[06:57] Hakari
    What a kind soul!
[06:59] Rentaro
    Are you okay? Can you stand?
[07:01] Hakari
    Yes, thank you.
[07:03] Karane
    I... I-It...
[07:07] Karane
    It's not like I twisted my ankle just so
    I could lean on you or anything, okay?!
[07:11] Rentaro
    What in the...?!
[07:12] Rentaro
    Wait.
[07:13] Rentaro
    Are you hurt, too?
[07:15] Karane
    Yeah, I twisted my ankle.
    You got a problem with that?
[07:21] Rentaro
    What am I, some kind of living,
    breathing Deathstar?!
[07:23] Rentaro
    What kinda messed-up way do you have
    to walk to hurt everyone you touch?!
[07:28] Hakari
    What's the matter?!
[07:28] Karane
    He's having a seizure?!
[07:30] Rentaro
    Huh?
[07:31] Rentaro
    What?
[07:33] Rentaro
    You two can stand?
[07:36] Hakarikarane
    Owie. Ouchie.
[07:38] Karane
    Q-Quit messing around and help us already!
[07:40] Rentaro
    Oh, uh... Sure.
[07:43] Rentaro
    Wait, why does it look like
    I'm the one being carried?!
[07:46] Hakari
    Oh, no! I can't keep my balance
    with the three of us all bunched up.
[07:49] Karane
    H-Hey, quit clinging to him!
    You're making me lose my balance, too!
[07:52] Hakari
    No, it's you!
[07:54] Karane
    No, you!
[07:55] Rentaro
    Hey, stop...
[08:01] Rentaro
    What is even going on? 
    Am I dreaming?!
[08:03] Rentaro
    They're clinging to me like cicadas!
[08:06] Rentaro
    I'm the luckiest 
    telephone pole in the universe!
[08:11] Rentaro
    L-Let's just hurry
    to the nurse's office already.
[08:13] Rentaro
    I feel like I'm gonna flip over
    and turn into a girl.
[08:17] Karane
    Real life ain't Reversi.
[08:20] Rentaro
    Oh, r-right.
[08:22] Rentaro
    I'm Aijo Rentaro from Class 1-4.
    How about you two?
[08:26] Karane
    I'm Inda Karane, also from Class 1-4.
[08:26] Hakari
    I'm Hanazono Hakari from Class 1-4.
[08:29] Karane
    Hmph! So we're classmates!
[08:29] Hakari
    We're in the same class, huh?
[08:31] Rentaro
    Stereo introductions!
[08:33] Girl
    Did you hear about 
    this school's love superstition?
[08:33] Rentaro
    Could we maybe go one at a time?
[08:38] Rentaro
    Please give me one more chance.
[08:38] Girl A
    There's a field of pink clovers 
    in the courtyard.
[08:41] Girl A
    If you find a four-leaf clover there
    and ask someone out with it,
[08:44] Girl A
    they'll definitely say yes, apparently!
[08:45] Girl B
    The heck? Sounds like a story for little kids!
[08:47] Girl A
    Yeah, but they say it has a 100% success rate!
[08:52] Hakari
    I just remembered something I need to do!
[08:52] Karane
    I just remembered something I gotta do!
[08:53] Rentaro
    So your legs are fine now?!
SIGN    End of the First Day of School
SIGN    And Four Hours After That
[09:01] Rentaro
    I didn't expect to help a teacher
    look for his contacts after school,
[09:05] (Flashback) Rentaro
    Found it!
SIGN    Found it!
[09:05] Rentaro
    nor did I expect it to take four whole hours.
SIGN    Thank you!
[09:06] (Flashback) Teacher
    Thank you! I'll give you 
    a hundred million extra credits!
SIGN    I'll give you a hundred
    million extra credits!
[09:10] Rentaro
    I'd hoped to see those girls
    again after school,
[09:12] Rentaro
    but I guess that's not happening.
[09:15] Rentaro
    They both ran off somewhere...
[09:18] Karane
    Four-leaf! Four-leaf! Four-leaf!
[09:20] Hakari
    Four-leaf... four-leaf... four-leaf...
[09:22] Rentaro
    They're going at it!
[09:24] Rentaro
    Have they been looking for a four-leaf clover 
    since school ended four hours ago?
[09:29] Rentaro
    Who does that?!
SIGN    Guy who just
    spent four hours
    looking for contacts
[09:33] Rentaro
    And they're trying so hard, too...
[09:36] Rentaro
    Is it for me?
[09:38] Rentaro
    I can't just stand by and watch!
[09:43] Karane
    I guess they've all been picked by now.
[09:48] Karane
    But surely I can find one...
[09:49] Rentaro
    Inda-san.
[09:52] Rentaro
    Having trouble finding that four-leaf clover?
[09:55] Karane
    Aijo?!
[09:56] Karane
    W-What? I'm not looking for
    a four-leaf clover or anything!
[10:00] Karane
    Uh...
[10:01] Karane
    Right! It's just, I...
[10:03] Karane
    I suddenly felt the need to go,
    so I'm just looking for a good spot!
[10:07] Rentaro
    You sure you wanna go with that?
    You're just making things worse for yourself!
[10:11] Rentaro
    Wait, where's Hanazono-san?
[10:14] Karane
    Huh? She was right there a moment ago.
    Bathroom break, maybe?
[10:18] Rentaro
    Oh. Well, in that case...
[10:21] Rentaro
    Here.
[10:22] Rentaro
    You must be tired, so have a drink.
[10:24] Karane
    Huh? Wh-What?
[10:26] Karane
    What're you playing at?
[10:27] Karane
    I-I don't get it.
[10:30] Rentaro
    Right, figures.
[10:32] Rentaro
    I'm being kinda gross, huh?
    We only just met and all.
[10:38] Karane
    Y...
[10:39] Karane
    You're being so gross,
    I'm gonna throw it all up,
[10:42] Karane
    but I'll drink it just so
    it doesn't go to waste!
[10:44] Rentaro
    I'm not trying to put you through
    all that pain and suffering, though!
[10:48] Rentaro
    A-Anyway, it's getting late.
    You should go home.
[10:52] Karane
    I-I don't need you tell me!
    I was about to do just that!
[10:57] Karane
    H-Hey, uh...
[11:00] Karane
    Th-Thanks.
[11:04] Rentaro
    Extra, extra! We have a tsundere!
[11:07] Karane
    H-Hmph!
[11:09] Karane
    It's not like I'm thankful or anything, okay?!
[11:11] Rentaro
    I'm getting mixed signals!
[11:14] Hakari
    Huh? Aijo-kun?
[11:16] Rentaro
    Hanazono-san.
[11:17] Hakari
    Wh-What are you doing here?
[11:20] Rentaro
    Oh, uh...
[11:21] Rentaro
    It looked like you two'd been looking for
    a four-leaf clover all this time,
[11:24] Rentaro
    so I bought you some drinks.
[11:27] Rentaro
    Here. For you, if you'd like.
[11:29] Hakari
    Aw, you shouldn't have...
[11:33] Hakari
    Oh, but I always struggle to finish
    a whole can by myself.
[11:38] Hakari
    Could you please have half of it for me?
[11:42] Hakari
    It's the perfect scheme!
[11:44] Hakari
    Now I can share an indirect kiss 
    with Aijo-kun! I'm so smooth!
[11:48] Rentaro
    I get it.
[11:50] Rentaro
    I was worried about 350ml being too much,
    so I got you a 190ml can, too.
[11:54] Rentaro
    Way to go, me.
[11:57] Hakari
    B-B-But...
[11:58] Hakari
    Half of 350ml is 175ml,
    and 190ml is 15ml more than that.
[12:04] Hakari
    I really don't think
    I could finish it by myself.
[12:08] Rentaro
    Is 15ml really that big a hurdle?!
[12:10] Rentaro
    W-Well, if you insist.
[12:13] Hakari
    Please.
[12:15] Rentaro
    Okay, here I go.
SIGN    Let's gooo!!
[12:20] Rentaro
    How the heck does one drink exactly 15ml?
[12:23] Rentaro
    Here. Hopefully, that should do it.
[12:25] Hakari
    Thank you so much.
[12:27] Rentaro
    Wait!
[12:28] Rentaro
    Isn't this an indirect kiss?!
[12:31] Hakari
    An indirect kiss... with Aijo-kun.
[12:34] Hakari
    I-Indirect...
[12:35] Hakari
    kiss!
[12:36] Rentaro
    Hanazono-san?!
[12:42] Rentaro
    I didn't know you liked that drink so much!
[12:46] Hakari
    My indirect ki...
[12:49] Rentaro
    Hanazono-san.
[12:51] Rentaro
    You've got splashes on your skirt.
    Use this to wipe off.
[13:05] Rentaro
    Huh? H-Hanazono-san?
[13:07] Hakari
    Aijo-kun.
[13:09] Hakari
    I... I love you!
[13:11] Hakari
    Please go out with me!
[13:15] Rentaro
    Wh-What?
[13:17] Hakari
    I-I'm sorry.
[13:18] Hakari
    I know this is too sudden. But...
[13:21] Hakari
    I feel like I'm already
    head over heels for you.
[13:26] Hakari
    And it seems I'm not the only one
    who feels that way.
[13:31] Hakari
    So I thought I had to say it now,
    or else I'd regret it forever.
[13:34] Rentaro
    It's the first time 
    any girl has ever asked me out.
[13:38] Rentaro
    I'm over the moon!
[13:41] Rentaro
    I...
[13:44] Rentaro
    I-Inda-san?
[13:46] Rentaro
    What's with all those cans?!
[13:48] Karane
    It's not like I wanted to pay you back
[13:50] Karane
    but couldn't figure out what you liked
    and bought one of everything, okay?!
[13:53] Rentaro
    I appreciate the thought,
    but you really shouldn't have!
[13:57] Karane
    Who died and let you cut in line?!
[13:59] Hakari
    Whatever could you mean?
[14:00] Hakari
    I-I had no idea you liked Aijo-kun, too.
[14:04] Karane
    You just said you weren't
    the only one! I heard you!
[14:08] Karane
    I-It's not like I like you or anything, okay?!
[14:12] Rentaro
    Bit late for that, isn't it?!
[14:14] Karane
    H-Hmph!
[14:15] Karane
    But, hey, if you want to go out with me
    so badly, I guess I could be your girlfriend.
[14:20] Rentaro
    I've never seen anyone ask someone out
    like they're doing them a favor before.
[14:24] Karane
    No, what I mean to say is...
[14:27] Karane
    I... I love you, too, Aijo.
[14:32] Karane
    Please go out with me.
[14:44] Rentaro
    Hanazono-san.
[14:46] Rentaro
    Inda-san.
[14:48] Karane
    Aijo.
[14:48] Hakari
    Aijo-kun.
[14:50] Karane
    Who's it gonna be? Pick one!
[14:50] Hakari
    Which one of us will it be? Make your choice!
[14:55] Rentaro
    F...
[14:56] Rentaro
    Find out after this short break.
[14:58] Karane
    I'm gonna kick your ass!
[15:01] Rentaro
    I...
[15:02] Rentaro
    I seriously can't choose!
[15:04] Rentaro
    They're both so attractive. 
    There's no way I could choose.
[15:08] Rentaro
    Is it because they're both my soulmates?
[15:11] Rentaro
    I asked them to wait 
    until tomorrow for my response...
[15:14] Rentaro
    But what do I do?
[15:16] Lovegod
    But of course.
[15:20] Lovegod
    They're your soulmates,
    both your ideal romantic partner.
[15:25] Lovegod
    It's impossible for you to pick one.
[15:27] Rentaro
    How do others do it?
[15:29] Rentaro
    What do the people who meet
    two soulmates at once like me handle it?
[15:34] Lovegod
    About that...
[15:36] Lovegod
    Normally, any given person
    only has one soulmate.
[15:42] Lovegod
    Something monumental just happened
    to coincide with your birth.
[15:47] Lovegod
    It caused me, the god of love,
    to make a horrible mistake.
[15:50] Rentaro
    What? What was it?!
[15:54] Lovegod
    It was a Friday.
[15:58] Lovegod
    Fortress in the Sky 
    was airing on TV while I was working.
[16:01] Rentaro
    You're a god!
    Why are you watching TV as you work?!
[16:04] Lovegod
    L-Listen, hear me out!
[16:07] Lovegod
    It was my first watch!
    My first exposure to Balus!
[16:07] Mooska
    I'll wait three minutes.
[16:10] Rentaro
    Your first Balus?!
SIGN    Balus!
[16:13] (Flashback) Lovegod
    Spectacular!
SIGN    jot jot jot
[16:15] Rentaro
    That's understandable...
[16:16] Rentaro
    my ass!
SIGN    Aijo Rentaro
SIGN    will have 100 soulmates
[16:17] Lovegod
    You know Fortress in the Sky is a 100/100!
SIGN    100 soulmates
[16:20] Rentaro
    That's not the point!
[16:21] Rentaro
    Why'd you even put your score down there?!
SIGN    °An easy task involving just putting down "1" on each sheet.
[16:22] Rentaro
    Heck, if it's one soulmate just person, 
    why not just print that part, too?!
SIGN    Graaaargh
[16:25] Rentaro
    Damn it all! What have you done to my life?!
[16:29] Rentaro
    If I'd had only one soulmate, I could've led
    a happy life not worrying about all this!
[16:33] Lovegod
    Not to kick you while you're down,
    but it gets worse.
[16:36] Rentaro
    There's more?!
[16:37] Lovegod
    When a person meets their soulmate,
    they can love each other and be together.
[16:43] Lovegod
    But if that doesn't come to pass,
    all sorts of horrible stuff happens to them
[16:47] Lovegod
    and they die.
[16:50] Lovegod
    Having a soulmate is such a blessing,
[16:54] Lovegod
    it uses up a whole lifetime's
    worth of good luck.
[16:57] Lovegod
    As such, if one fails to match
    with them, only misfortune awaits.
[17:02] Rentaro
    So, you mean to say...
[17:03] Rentaro
    If I go out with one of them...
[17:07] Lovegod
    Yes. The other will die.
[17:10] Rentaro
    How the heck am I supposed to choose now?!
[17:13] Rentaro
    The hell do you expect me to do,
    for crying out loud?!
[17:15] Lovegod
    Yeah... I'm really sorry about this, honest.
[17:19] Rentaro
    This can't be happening to me!
[17:21] Rentaro
    The girl I don't pick will die?
[17:24] Rentaro
    What can I do?
[17:31] Rentaro
    Hang on. What if...
[17:34] Rentaro
    Sorry. I can't go out with either of you.
[17:37] Rentaro
    I said that because I didn't want to hurt her.
    I will go out with you, of course.
[17:42] Rentaro
    But keep it a secret
    so she doesn't find out, okay?
[17:46] Rentaro
    That's it! That way, I can date 
    both of them without the other knowing!
[17:50] Rentaro
    I can save both of them from certain death!
[17:56] Rentaro
    Good morning, you two.
[17:58] Hakari
    Good morning, Aijo-kun.
[18:01] Karane
    Here I am. Hurry up and give us your answer...
SIGN    Tattered...
[18:07] Karane
    What the hell happened to you?!
[18:09] Rentaro
    Oh, sorry. Don't worry about it.
[18:12] Hakari
    So...
[18:13] Hakari
    Have you decided on your answer?
[18:17] Rentaro
    Yeah.
[18:31] Rentaro
    I want both of you to be my girlfriends!
[18:37] Karane
    Wh...
[18:38] Karane
    You wha?!
[18:39] Karane
    Both of us? Are you out of your mind?!
[18:43] Rentaro
    I know how crazy this sounds!
[18:46] Rentaro
    But...
[18:48] (Flashback) Rentaro
    That's it! That way, I can date 
    both of them without the other knowing!
[18:52] (Flashback) Rentaro
    I can save both of them from certain death!
[19:02] (Flashback) Rentaro
    How stupid am I?
[19:04] (Flashback) Rentaro
    The two of them opened up to me 
    and told me how they felt.
[19:08] (Flashback) Rentaro
    I know better than anyone
[19:10] (Flashback) Rentaro
    how much courage it takes 
    to confess your love to another person!
[19:14] (Flashback) Rentaro
    There are lines that 
    should never be crossed, man!
[19:17] Rentaro
    I just couldn't decide.
[19:20] Rentaro
    I love you both so much,
[19:22] Rentaro
    I couldn't pick only one!
[19:24] Rentaro
    I may be two-timing, but I will not hurt you.
[19:27] Rentaro
    I'll put in every drop of blood, sweat, and
    tears, and make you the happiest girls alive!
[19:31] Rentaro
    So I'm begging you two!
[19:33] Rentaro
    Please go out with me!
[19:37] Karane
    Y...
[19:38] Karane
    You can sweet-talk me all you want,
    two-timing is just not on...
[19:45] Karane
    Pink...
[19:46] Hakari
    ...four-leaf clovers?
[19:48] Hakari
    Two of them, no less!
[19:50] Hakari
    We searched for so long together,
    and we couldn't even find one!
[19:54] Karane
    H-How'd you get those?
[19:56] Rentaro
    Well, last night...
[19:57] Rentaro
    I called a teacher
    and asked them to let me back in.
[19:57] (Flashback) Teacher
    Oh, you're the one who found 
    my contacts. Sure, anything for you.
[20:01] (Flashback) Rentaro
    Thank you so much!
[20:04] Hakari
    You spent all night looking?
[20:06] Karane
    Wh-What an idiot!
[20:08] Karane
    You're in high school, and you still
    believe that stupid superstition?!
[20:12] Hakari
    Inda-san, please stop.
[20:14] Hakari
    Your words are coming back 
    to bite both you and me.
SIGN    Stab
[20:16] Karane
    Hah! I bet you're trying to show off
    how much you care for us!
SIGN    I
    know it
[20:20] Karane
    I'm still not letting you talk me into
    accepting something as trashy as two-timing!
[20:24] Rentaro
    Huh? Oh, sorry.
[20:26] Rentaro
    That's not what I was going for at all.
[20:28] Karane
    Then what the hell are you trying to do?!
[20:29] Hakari
    Down, Inda-san.
[20:30] Karane
    You two-timing piece of trash! 
    You must be crazy!
[20:31] Hakari
    I know you acted all smug only to swing
    and miss, but that's no reason to rage.
[20:33] Karane
    Stupid jerk, stupid jerk!
[20:35] Rentaro
    It's just, you two were trying
    so hard to find these.
[20:36] Karane
    Nag, nag! Nag, nag!
[20:39] Rentaro
    It made me think you like
    this kind of romantic gesture.
[20:43] Rentaro
    So I figured, if I gave you
    these along with my answer,
[20:47] Rentaro
    it might make you happy.
[20:52] Hakari
    V-Very well. I accept.
[20:55] Hakari
    I don't mind you two-timing me.
[20:57] Karane
    Excuse me?!
[20:58] Karane
    Have you lost your mind, too?!
[21:01] Hakari
    I am hopelessly in love with Aijo-kun.
[21:05] Hakari
    I can't even imagine falling in love
    with anyone else anymore.
[21:09] Hakari
    If it's between this and rejection,
    then being two-timed is but a trifling issue.
[21:16] Hakari
    So I hope you'll take
    good care of me, Rentaro-kun.
[21:22] Karane
    M-Me, too!
[21:24] Karane
    You better treat me right, or you'll pay!
[21:27] Hakari
    Oh? What happened to
    "two-timing is just not on"?
[21:31] Karane
    I-I never said I wouldn't go out with him!
[21:34] Rentaro
    Yeah, I promise.
[21:36] Rentaro
    I'll make both of you the happiest girls alive!
[21:45] Narrator
    And so begins Rentaro's 
    unprecedented pure-love harem life.
[21:49] Narrator
    But we mustn't forget:
[21:50] Narrator
    There are 98 more soulmates to come!
[21:54] Narrator
    What will Rentaro do?
[21:56] Narrator
    Will he leave the rest of this 
    endless barrage of soulmates to die?
[22:00] Narrator
    Or will he choose to love every single one?
[22:03] Narrator
    Is he gonna go for a century?!
[22:04] Narrator
    Are you gonna be hundred-timing,
[22:06] Narrator
    Rentaro?!

E2 - First Kiss
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Rentaro
    Yeah, can you believe it?
[00:03] Rentaro
    After a rejection streak that hit 100,
[00:06] Rentaro
    I now have a girlfriend
    for the first time in my life!
[00:10] Rentaro
    I'm also about to walk to school
    with her like I've always dreamed about!
[00:14] Rentaro
    And get this...
[00:17] Rentaro
    There are two of them!
[00:19] Hakari
    Good morning, Rentaro-kun.
[00:22] Karane
    Wait, were you just talking to that pole?!
SIGN    The 100 Girlfriends
    Who Really, Really, Really, Really, REALLY Love You
SIGN    Crossing
SIGN    Reminiscing Lunch
SIGN    B-Come Tast-E
SIGN    I went all-out making lunch this morning <3
SIGN    To Rentaro-kun
    You might think this is all a bit overblown,
    but I'm writing this letter to express how thankful I am for all you do.
    Rentaro-kun, thank you so much for always bringing joy into my life.
    I've put all my feelings of gratitude into making lunch for you.
    Would you eat with me, if you don't mind?
    I'll be waiting on the rooftop during lunch break <3
    -Hakari
    P.S. I believe my figure has become
    more shapely these days.
    I'm including a photograph
    I took recently along with this letter.
    Enjoy <3
SIGN    To Rentaro!
    You'd better come to the rooftop during lunch break!
    Promise me you will!!
    Don't ask why! Just do it!
    I made too many side dishes, is all!
    (Though part of it was me hoping you would eat them...)
    So don't get the wrong idea! I'm just repaying you here!
    We gotta eat lunch together!!!!
    - Inda Karane
SIGN    To Rentaro-kun
    It feels a little strange writing to you
    when we see each other all the time.
    But I'm much better at expressing
    my feelings through writing, so I figured I should
    tell you how I constantly feel about you this way.
    Thank you truly for always looking out for me
    and respecting my feelings.
    I will treasure the days I spend with you for life.
    Rentaro-kun, do you happen to have time
    during lunch break today? If you do,
    then I would love to have lunch with you.
    -Yoshimoto Shizuka
SIGN    When a > 0 and b > 0,
    the Rentaro a/b + b/a >= 2 Nano inequation becomes
    a/b > 0 and b/a > 0.
    With the addition of "Gratitude" and the arithmetic mean of "Lunch,"
    we get Rentaro = a/b + b/a >= Lunch 2√(a/b x b/a)
    = 2x Happiness
    = Nano
    Lunch a² + Lunch b² >= 2ab
    (a-b)² = If you eat it, it no longer exists
    As such, when a = b, lunch will be proven.
SIGN    Rentaro, thanks for everything, aye.
    It looks like today will be a beautiful day,
    so I wanna eat lunch with you, aye!
    It'll be delicious for sure, aye!
    Note: Heat this area up for a surprise!
SIGN    Hngh
[01:56] Rentaro
    Good morning, you two.
[01:57] Karane
    Were you just talking to that pole?
[02:01] Rentaro
    I'm just on cloud nine
    after getting my first girlfriend.
[02:05] Karane
    If...
[02:06] Karane
    If you wanna talk to someone so badly,
[02:09] Karane
    I'm alwa... wa..
[02:10] Karane
    Wacha-cha-cha-cha-cha!
[02:13] Karane
    Y-You are already dead, okay?!
[02:15] Rentaro
    Did you attack my pressure points?!
[02:19] Hakari
    Such a beautiful day, don't you think?
[02:23] Rentaro
    Y-Yeah. Such nice weather.
SIGN    Smooth
[02:30] Rentaro
    S-So smooth! So tiny!
[02:30] Rentaro
    This is a girl's hand!
[02:33] Rentaro
    So soft! So warm!
[02:34] Hakari
    I read in a book that 90% of men 
    enjoy locking hands with their partners.
[02:35] Hakari
    So big, so bony!
[02:39] Hakari
    This is a boy's hand!
[02:42] Hakari
    It's such great weather today.
    It's so strong and so masculine.
[02:46] Karane
    What the heck kinda weather is that?!
[02:48] Rentaro
    Inda-san, let's do it, too.
[02:50] Rentaro
    Gimme your hand.
[02:54] Karane
    H-Hmph! I'm not too pleased about this,
[02:57] Karane
    but I don't wanna miss out on zapping you
    with some stray static electricity, so I'll live.
[03:02] Rentaro
    Extra, extra. We have a zingdere, too.
[03:07] Karane
    Gah, what is with this boy? I love him!
[03:10] Rentaro
    I have never been happier in my life!
[03:13] Hakari
    I love him... 
    I really, really, really love him!
SIGN    Hngh <3
SIGN    Hngh <3
SIGN    Hngh <3
[03:17] Rentarokaranehakari
    Love, love, love...
[03:17] Karane
    This weather's too good for its own good!
[03:19] Rentaro
    Yeah, it's lovely.
[03:21] Hakari
    It's perfect weather.
[03:23] Rentaro
    Yeah, you couldn't ask for a better day.
[03:27] Oldlady
    Kids these days
    really care about the weather, huh?
[03:33] Rentaro
    By the way, Hanazono-san, Inda-san...
[03:36] Rentaro
    Hmm? What's wrong, Hanazono-san?
[03:40] Hakari
    Well, it's just...
[03:42] Hakari
    I'd love it if you could call me
    by my first name.
SIGN    hubba hubba
[03:46] Sign
    abbuh abbuh
[03:46] Rentaro
    Oh, y-your name?
[03:49] Rentaro
    H... H... Hakari-san.
[03:53] Hakari
    Yes, Rentaro-kun!
[03:58] Karane
    M-Me, too...
[04:01] Karane
    R-R-R-R-R-Re...
[04:04] Karane
    Rentaro!
[04:05] Rentaro
    Yes?
[04:06] Karane
    I-It's not like I was talking to you!
[04:08] Rentaro
    Then, whomst?!
[04:12] Rentaro
    Karane.
[04:14] Hakari
    I would prefer just "Hakari," too!
[04:16] Rentaro
    Huh? O-Okay...
[04:18] Rentaro
    Hakari.
[04:20] Hakari
    Yes. Asdkfasdfa.
[04:22] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun.
[04:23] Rentaro
    Hakari.
[04:24] Karane
    R-Rentaro!
[04:26] Rentaro
    Karane!
[04:27] Karane
    Rentaro!
[04:28] Rentaro
    Karane...
[04:29] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun.
[04:30] Rentaro
    Hakari!
[04:31] Karane
    Rentaro...
[04:32] Rentaro
    Karane!
[04:33] Guy A
    The heck? Are they doing a roll call?
[04:33] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun...
[04:34] Rentaro
    Hakari...
[04:35] Viceprincipal
    Hold it!
[04:37] Guy B
    I'm really sorry! Please, have mercy!
[04:44] Hakari
    It's her!
[04:46] Karane
    The vice principal?!
[04:47] Rentaro
    Hmm... vice principal...
[04:48] Rentaro
    Vice principal?!
[04:49] Hakari
    Yes. She's infamously strict
    about school rules.
[04:53] Hakari
    If she catches you running in the halls...
[04:55] Karane
    ...she'll chase you to the ends of the earth.
[05:04] Karane
    And if she catches you...
[05:06] Guy B
    No...
[05:07] Viceprincipal
    Hope you reflect on this deeply!
[05:08] Guy B
    No!
[05:11] Guy B
    Eek! Please no!
[05:15] Karane
    ...she'll French kiss you.
[05:18] Rentaro
    Emotional damage!
[05:20] Hakari
    No, it hurts a lot physically, too.
[05:26] Hakari
    She's a former star sprinter,
    so nobody has ever escaped her kiss attack.
[05:26] Viceprincipal
    Lickity lick lick!
[05:31] Karane
    They call her "Sonic the Sketchhag."
[05:36] Rentaro
    I had no idea such a monster
    lurked in our school.
[05:39] Hakari
    B-By the way, Rentaro-kun,
[05:42] Hakari
    have you ever k-kissed anyone before?
[05:44] Karane
    Flinch.
[05:45] Rentaro
    Huh? Nope.
[05:47] Rentaro
    You two are my first-ever girlfriends.
[05:50] Hakari & Karane
    That means the early bird...
[05:54] Hakari & Karane
    gets the first kiss!
[05:57] Hakari
    I must have it!
[05:58] Karane
    It will be mine!
SIGN    Lunch Break
[06:02] Hakari
    There's nobody around.
[06:05] Rentaro
    It's only early spring,
    so it's still a bit chilly.
[06:09] Karane
    There's a kitty here.
[06:11] Hakari
    Which means nobody's watching.
[06:15] Hakari
    Hey, I cooked these egg rolls.
[06:19] Hakari
    Would you like to try them?
[06:20] Rentaro
    May I? I'd love to!
[06:22] Hakari
    Okay!
[06:24] Hakari
    Here, say aah.
[06:28] Rentaro
    Aah.
[06:32] Hakari
    Wh-What do you think?
[06:36] Rentaro
    It's the best in the galaxy!
[06:37] Karane
    Wha?!
[06:38] Hakari
    I'm so glad!
[06:39] Karane
    I-I happened to bake some cookies, too.
[06:42] Rentaro
    Really?
[06:43] Karane
    Not for you or anything, but...
[06:46] Karane
    Come on, open up!
[06:48] Rentaro
    Aah.
[06:50] Karane
    C-Cookie!
[06:50] Rentaro
    More like cook-eye!
SIGN    Splornk
[06:58] Rentaro
    It's the best in the galaxy!
[07:00] Karane
    How galaxy-brained are you?!
[07:06] Hakari
    Since we're on the topic of snacks,
[07:07] Hakari
    I brought some Bocky, too.
[07:12] Hakari
    Huh?
[07:13] Hakari
    The ends are all snapped off!
    We can't hold these in our hands!
[07:17] Rentaro
    How does that even happen?!
[07:19] Hakari
    I'd hoped to feed you these, too...
[07:23] Rentaro
    Hakari.
[07:24] Hakari
    Oh, but I could just hold it in a way
    that doesn't dirty my hands.
[07:28] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun, say aah.
[07:30] Rentaro
    Aah.
[07:34] Rentaro
    That's her game?!
[07:36] Rentaro
    H-Her face is so close to mine! So cute!
[07:39] Rentaro
    Cute, cute, cute, cute!
[07:41] Rentaro
    Her cutey-cute face is so closey-close!
[07:44] Hakari
    This is making me want to have some myself.
[07:48] Rentaro
    The game is afoot!
[07:53] Karane
    L-Let me in!
SIGN    Splornk
[07:55] Rentaro
    What does she have against my eyes?!
[08:02] Hakari
    No!
[08:04] Hakari
    The Bocky snapped in half!
[08:05] Rentaro
    Sorry, I didn't mean to.
[08:08] Karane
    Ah!
[08:09] Karane
    Do you have a cold?
    Your eyes are all red, too.
[08:12] Rentaro
    No, that's because...
[08:14] Karane
    Better pass it on with your mouth.
[08:17] Karane
    They say you cure a cold by passing it on!
[08:19] Rentaro
    That's the ace striker of Myth FC!
    The Messi, the Ronaldo!
[08:22] Rentaro
    Wait, her face is so close!
[08:24] Rentaro
    And cute, cute, cute, cute!
[08:26] Rentaro
    She's gonna score a hat-trick on me!
[08:29] Karane
    Gah!
[08:30] Hakari
    Wait! We can't be sure he has a cold yet!
[08:33] Karane
    Bwang...
[08:34] Hakari
    Let's check your temperature first.
[08:35] Karane
    Was that soft? Hard?
    An unidentified sensation!
[08:38] Hakari
    In my family, we check with both our
    foreheads and our lips. Please understand.
[08:44] Rentaro
    A custom so outlandish, all I'm seeing is red!
[08:46] Karane
    I disagree! Mouth-to-mouth is the best way!
[08:50] Karane
    So pass out already!
[08:52] Rentaro
    Have you both lost your marbles?!
[08:55] Hakari
    What are you doing?!
[08:57] Karane
    Bweh!
[09:02] Rentaro
    Can we calm down? What's gotten into you?
[09:06] Rentaro
    Wait, are you two trying to kiss me?
[09:10] Karane
    You wha? I-I-I-I-It's not like that!
[09:12] Rentaro
    You're not an open book,
    you're the whole library!
[09:14] Hakari
    Nothing stays secret with you around!
[09:17] Rentaro
    They went so far to try to 
    kiss a guy like me...
[09:21] Rentaro
    That's so sweet!
[09:23] Rentaro
    You could've just asked.
[09:25] Rentaro
    I wanted to... uh, kiss you two myself.
[09:28] Hakari
    But...
[09:30] Hakari
    The moment kissing came up,
[09:32] Hakari
    we'd have to decide who would be first.
[09:36] Karane
    And...
[09:37] Karane
    You decided to make a move
    before it came down to that, right?
[09:40] Hakari
    P-Pot, meet kettle!
[09:43] Rentaro
    I see. So that's why you were fighting.
[09:47] Rentaro
    Don't worry. I've got this.
[09:50] Rentaro
    I have a plan.
[09:55] Rentaro
    I cooked up the perfect plan
    just in case this happened!
[10:01] Karane
    Yesterday? The same day we started dating?
SIGN    Really?
[10:03] Rentaro
    Well, I was so excited imagining
    our future together that I couldn't sleep.
[10:09] Rentaro
    I played out one scenario
    after another to figure out
[10:12] Rentaro
    how to make you two
    the happiest girls in the world.
[10:16] Hakari & Karane
    Guh! I love him!
SIGN    Hngh <3
[10:20] Rentaro
    Anyway, for this first kiss problem,
[10:23] Rentaro
    we'll solve it by not knowing
    who got the first place.
[10:26] Hakarikarane
    Who was first?
SIGN    Who was first?
[10:27] Sign
    Dunno!!
[10:27] Rentaro
    Dunno!
[10:29] Rentaro
    That way, you'll both be equally
    likely to have had my first kiss.
[10:34] Rentaro
    And I can think of you both
    equally as my first kiss.
[10:39] Karane
    How do we even avoid
     knowing who went first?
[10:44] Hakari
    If we did it in different places,
    Rentaro-kun would know.
[10:49] Rentaro
    That's where these come in.
[10:51] Karane
    Music players...
[10:53] Hakari
    And dice? Eye masks?
[10:55] Rentaro
    First, we all take one of each.
[10:58] Rentaro
    Next, we decide where you two will stand.
[11:02] Rentaro
    I'll turn around and play some music.
[11:06] Rentaro
    When you press play on these three players,
[11:09] Rentaro
    they start playing My First Kiss 
    at max volume on repeat.
[11:13] Karane
    Why that song?
[11:15] Rentaro
    Because it's our first kiss.
[11:17] Rentaro
    That way, I won't be able to notice
    your movements or the noises you make.
[11:23] Rentaro
    Next, you two roll the dice
    to decide who stands where.
[11:27] Rentaro
    Let's say the bigger number
    stands on the right.
[11:30] Rentaro
    Once you're ready, you send me a message.
SIGN    Success
    in Love
[11:34] Rentaro
    I'll roll the dice and count
    to the random number I get.
[11:39] Rentaro
    Then I roll a single die
    and put on my eye mask.
SIGN    Odd
[11:43] Rentaro
    If this is odd, I start with the right.
    With the left if even.
[11:47] Rentaro
    I walk towards you two
    and kiss you both in turn.
[11:47] Sign
    Even
[11:52] Rentaro
    Because you would've waited the random
    number of seconds I counted earlier,
[11:57] Rentaro
    you won't be able to figure out
    who was first or second.
[12:01] Rentaro
    Once I've kissed you, I return to my spot,
[12:04] Rentaro
    count to the random number I roll once again,
[12:06] Rentaro
    and send you a message.
[12:09] Rentaro
    You throw your dice to decide your spots again,
[12:12] Rentaro
    which will make it impossible to know
    who was originally where.
[12:16] Rentaro
    Lastly, I'll take off the earbuds
    and eye mask...
[12:19] Rentaro
    Leaving only the joyous memory of sharing 
    our first kiss with the person we love.
[12:26] Hakari
    Amazing! The most perfect of plans!
[12:29] Hakari
    That was straight out of Liar's Game!
[12:31] Rentaro
    Aw...
[12:31] Karane
    H-Hold it!
[12:33] Karane
    That's a prime cheating opportunity!
[12:36] Karane
    The other two would have no idea!
[12:38] Rentaro
    Exactly.
[12:39] Rentaro
    But I've got a special solution
    to top it all off.
[12:42] Karane
    What solution?
[12:45] Rentaro
    We all pinky promise not to cheat.
[12:48] Karane
    Logic stocks are crashing! Sell now!
[12:50] Karane
    A-Are you stupid?
[12:51] Karane
    How are we supposed to enforce that?
[12:54] Rentaro
    But... why would anyone break a pinky promise?
[12:56] Rentaro
    You'd have to stick a needle in your eye.
[12:59] Rentaro
    You'd lose your eyesight.
[13:00] Karane
    Too pure!
[13:02] Rentaro
    Cross my heart and hope to die!
    Stick a needle in my eye!
[13:07] Rentaro
    But it's okay if it's you two.
    I'll still sacrifice my eyes!
[13:11] Rentaro
    Pinky promise!
SIGN    Hngh
[13:12] Hakari & Karane
    I swear on my life, 
    this promise will not be broken!
[13:15] Rentaro
    All right, let's give it a shot.
[13:18] Hakari
    This feels almost illegal.
[13:23] Rentaro
    Even.
[13:24] Rentaro
    So start with the left.
[13:26] Rentaro
    They should be standing...
[13:29] Rentaro
    somewhere around that area.
[13:31] Rentaro
    Oh, but I won't know how far to lean in 
    if I can't tell exactly where they are.
[13:37] Rentaro
    I don't want to headbutt anyone.
[13:40] Rentaro
    I'll start by putting my hands 
    on her shoulders...
[13:45] Rentaro
    This is definitely Hakari!
[13:47] Narrator
    The logic behind this conclusion
[13:49] Narrator
    will be kept confidential,
    lest we shame Karane-san.
[13:54] Hakari
    I don't mind, Rentaro-kun.
[13:57] Hakari
    You can go even further.
[13:59] Rentaro
    S-Stop that.
[14:00] Rentaro
    I'm serious about us,
    more than anyone in the world.
[14:05] Rentaro
    Sorry, Karane. We have to start over.
[14:08] Karane
    Start over? What went wrong?
[14:11] Karane
    No, seriously, what happened?!
[14:38] Karane
    Wha?
[14:40] Karane
    No, wait!
[14:41] Karane
    Rentaro... What are you...
[14:45] Karane
    No way!
[14:50] Karane
    You sick perv!
[14:58] Karane
    You colossal jerk!
[14:59] Karane
    Tell me before you go there!
[15:01] Karane
    I need time to prepare!
[15:10] Rentaro
    Sorry, Hakari.
[15:11] Rentaro
    We have to start over.
[15:13] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun?
[15:14] Hakari
    Okay, something definitely went down!
[15:17] Rentaro
    A-Anyway, let's try and try until we succeed!
[15:31] Rentaro
    Wh-Who knew kissing was so complicated?
[15:35] Karane
    They make it look so easy in movies and on TV.
[15:39] Karane
    Ugh.
[15:40] Karane
    I knew this stupid plan
    was never gonna work out.
SIGN    I'm so pathetic
[15:44] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun's plan is perfect.
[15:46] Hakari
    The problem is with the people involved.
[15:50] Karane
    Huh?
[15:51] Karane
    What? Are you saying it's my fault?
[15:53] Hakari
    I'm not pointing any fingers.
[15:56] Karane
    What kind of kissing
    were you two doing, anyway?
[16:00] Karane
    Why'd you always
    come out of it red as tomatoes?
[16:00] Rentaro
    C-Calm down!
[16:03] Hakari
    If that's how we're doing it,
[16:05] Hakari
    why does he keep getting
    more and more injured with you?
[16:08] Hakari
    Stop hurting my Rentaro-kun!
[16:11] Karane
    Excuse me? What do you mean, your Rentaro-kun?
[16:14] Karane
    Rentaro's mine!
[16:15] Hakari
    Mine!
[16:17] Karane
    No, mine!
[16:17] Rentaro
    Stop it!
[16:19] Rentaro
    Don't fight. I'm the one to blame here.
[16:24] Rentaro
    It's all because I still
    haven't had my first kiss.
[16:28] Rentaro
    Because I'm a useless, inexperienced boyfriend!
[16:32] Karane
    Rentaro!
[16:32] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun?
[16:35] Karane
    Wait, Rentaro!
[16:37] Hakari
    Where are you going?
[16:40] Rentaro
    Vice Principal!
[16:43] Viceprincipal
    Who'd you wanna call? Old Spinster!
[16:48] Viceprincipal
    Running? In my halls?
[16:52] Hakari
    No, Rentaro-kun will be...
[16:54] Viceprincipal
    I sentence you to my whip of love!
[17:02] Viceprincipal
    Got you! Prepare for your smacking!
[17:07] Rentaro
    She's cackling like some early-game monster!
[17:12] Karane
    Get away from Rentaro, you freaky old bag!
[17:15] Karane
    The Iron Shriek?
[17:17] Karane
    No, Karane?!
[17:19] Viceprincipal
    Camel clutching your teachers
    is against the rules!
[17:22] Karane
    Yeah, and kissing your students 
    is against the law!
[17:29] Hakari
    Look, an inspector from the Board of Education!
[17:32] Hakari
    Please come quick!
[17:34] Hakari
    You can get a red-handed bonus
    on catching this perverted teacher now!
[17:39] Karane
    You okay, Rentaro?
[17:41] Rentaro
    Karane...
[17:48] Viceprincipal
    I can't lose this job.
[17:50] Viceprincipal
    I need all the cash I can get to keep
    smooching hot guys at host clubs!
[17:57] Viceprincipal
    Found one.
[17:58] Guy 2
    No!
[17:59] Karane
    Rentaro!
[18:00] Hakari
    Are you okay?
[18:01] Rentaro
    Y-You two...
[18:03] Hakari
    Why would you do something so rash?
[18:09] Rentaro
    I love you both so much.
[18:12] Rentaro
    And I know this is selfish,
[18:15] Rentaro
    but I want my girlfriends to get along.
[18:19] Rentaro
    So...
[18:21] Rentaro
    If my first kiss
    causes you two to fight over it,
[18:25] Rentaro
    I'd rather throw it in the trash!
SIGN    Trash
[18:31] Hakari
    If you're going to waste it
    on some trash who doesn't even like you...
[18:36] Karane
    I'd much rather let Hakari 
    have your first kiss instead!
[18:37] Hakari
    I'd much rather let Karane-san
    have your first kiss instead!
[18:44] Rentaro
    R-Really? I thought...
[18:47] Rentaro
    Your rival in love was the absolute
    last person you'd want to have it.
[18:52] Hakari
    Of course, there's a part of me
    that feels that way.
[18:56] Karane
    But it's just obvious
    that she really loves you, too...
[19:02] Hakari
    From watching Karane-san.
[19:02] Karane
    From looking at Hakari.
[19:07] Karane
    H-Hey, what's this about?
[19:11] Rentaro
    What the heck?
[19:12] Rentaro
    I had you two all wrong!
[19:14] Hakari
    I wub him!
[19:16] Karane
    I'm so habby!
[19:18] Rentaro
    In that case, it might just work.
[19:22] Karane
    We all kiss at the same time?!
[19:25] Rentaro
    Yep. All three of us at once.
[19:28] Rentaro
    It was the first thing I thought of, actually.
[19:32] Rentaro
    Just, you know...
[19:34] Rentaro
    You two wouldn't just be kissing me,
    but also each other.
[19:41] Rentaro
    So I figured you wouldn't be up for it
    if you were at loggerheads.
[19:46] Rentaro
    But it'll be okay. I believe in you two.
[19:49] Rentaro
    No, I believe in us!
[19:51] Karane
    Don't get all hype by yourself...
[20:13] Rentaro
    Sorry, this is...
[20:16] Rentaro
    Totally some kind of UFO-summoning ritual!
[20:22] Narrator
    And so, after many trials and tribulations,
[20:27] Narrator
    the three of them
    successfully shared their first kiss.
[20:33] Narrator
    And they also summoned a UFO... maybe?
SIGN    The Next Day
[20:38] Rentaro
    What are you looking for in the library?
SIGN    LIBRARY
[20:40] Hakari
    A cookbook.
[20:42] Hakari
    You seemed to like
    the egg rolls I made yesterday,
[20:46] Hakari
    and it made me want to try
    cooking more things for you.
[20:51] Karane
    F-Fancy that!
[20:53] Karane
    I was just thinking about
    reading up on cooking myself!
[20:59] Karane
    I-It's not like I'm doing it
    for you or anything, okay?!
[21:02] Rentaro
    I haven't said anything!
[21:03] Karane
    What's this, Recipes that Show 
    the Way To Your Man's Stomach?
SIGN    Recipes that Show the Way To
    Your Man's Stomach
SIGN    Recipes that Show the Way To
    Your Man's Stomach
[21:08] Hakari
    No fair, Karane-san. Let me see it, too.
[21:12] Karane
    Finders keepers.
[21:14] Hakari
    Come on. It won't kill you.
[21:16] Karane
    Find your own book!
[21:18] Rentaro
    Play nice, you two.
[21:20] Rentaro
    You've already shared a kiss and all.
[21:23] Karane
    Th-That was your stupid idea!
[21:26] Hakari
    W-W-We only went along with it!
[21:27] Rentaro
    I'm just kidding!
[21:31] Rentaro
    I should see if there's anything good, too.
SIGN    Love, Taiyaki,
    and Me
[21:37] Rentaro
    Love?
SIGN    Krrrack!!
[21:58] Rentaro
    That zing just now...
[22:01] Rentaro
    Is she my soulmate?!

E3 - The Quiet Princess, The Knight, and The Samurai
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:04] Shizuka
    The moment I was born,
[00:05] Shizuka
    my fate was set in stone.
[00:10] Shizuka
    I was destined for a life of solitude.
[00:16] Shizuka
    I had long resigned myself to it.
[00:19] Shizuka
    For a princess born into royalty, 
    it was inevitable and inescapable.
[00:28] Shizuka
    And yet I longed...
SIGN    Love, Taiyaki,
    and Me
SIGN    Krrrack!!
[00:53] Rentaro
    That zing just now...
SIGN    Krrrack!!!
[01:03] Rentaro
    Could it be?
[01:05] Rentaro
    Is she my soulmate?!
SIGN    The 100 Girlfriends
    Who Really, Really, Really, Really, REALLY Love You
SIGN    Crossing
SIGN    Reminiscing Lunch
SIGN    B-Come Tast-E
SIGN    I went all-out making lunch this morning <3
SIGN    To Rentaro-kun
    You might think this is all a bit overblown,
    but I'm writing this letter to express how thankful I am for all you do.
    Rentaro-kun, thank you so much for always bringing joy into my life.
    I've put all my feelings of gratitude into making lunch for you.
    Would you eat with me, if you don't mind?
    I'll be waiting on the rooftop during lunch break <3
    -Hakari
    P.S. I believe my figure has become
    more shapely these days.
    I'm including a photograph
    I took recently along with this letter.
    Enjoy <3
SIGN    To Rentaro!
    You'd better come to the rooftop during lunch break!
    Promise me you will!!
    Don't ask why! Just do it!
    I made too many side dishes, is all!
    (Though part of it was me hoping you would eat them...)
    So don't get the wrong idea! I'm just repaying you here!
    We gotta eat lunch together!!!!
    - Inda Karane
SIGN    To Rentaro-kun
    It feels a little strange writing to you
    when we see each other all the time.
    But I'm much better at expressing
    my feelings through writing, so I figured I should
    tell you how I constantly feel about you this way.
    Thank you truly for always looking out for me
    and respecting my feelings.
    I will treasure the days I spend with you for life.
    Rentaro-kun, do you happen to have time
    during lunch break today? If you do,
    then I would love to have lunch with you.
    -Yoshimoto Shizuka
SIGN    When a > 0 and b > 0,
    the Rentaro a/b + b/a >= 2 Nano inequation becomes
    a/b > 0 and b/a > 0.
    With the addition of "Gratitude" and the arithmetic mean of "Lunch,"
    we get Rentaro = a/b + b/a >= Lunch 2√(a/b x b/a)
    = 2x Happiness
    = Nano
    Lunch a² + Lunch b² >= 2ab
    (a-b)² = If you eat it, it no longer exists
    As such, when a = b, lunch will be proven.
SIGN    Rentaro, thanks for everything, aye.
    It looks like today will be a beautiful day,
    so I wanna eat lunch with you, aye!
    It'll be delicious for sure, aye!
    Note: Heat this area up for a surprise!
SIGN    Hngh
[02:44] Rentaro
    I didn't expect to run into another 
    soulmate here and now.
[02:55] Rentaro
    Oh, no! You go ahead!
[03:09] Rentaro
    Is she telling me to read that?
[03:12] Rentaro
    Er...
[03:13] Rentaro
    "'Tis I, the governor of this land"?
SIGN    Librarian
[03:24] Rentaro
    You mean you're a librarian?
[03:30] Rentaro
    "He had hit the bull's-eye."
[03:33] Rentaro
    Wait.
[03:33] Rentaro
    What's going on here?!
[03:35] Rentaro
    Is it no talking in the library?
[03:39] Rentaro
    "What brings you here? What do you seek?"
[03:43] Rentaro
    "I wished to aid in their goal."
[03:47] Rentaro
    Oh, uh...
[03:50] Rentaro
    Book.
[03:52] Rentaro
    Novel.
[03:54] Rentaro
    Funny.
[03:56] Rentaro
    Story of...
[04:00] Rentaro
    "Why do you not open your mouth?"
[04:03] Rentaro
    Right back at ya!
[04:09] Rentaro
    "My apologies."
[04:11] Rentaro
    "She found conversing
    with people most difficult."
[04:14] Rentaro
    "I'll go get someone else."
[04:19] Rentaro
    Wait, wait!
[04:23] Rentaro
    Sorry, I didn't realize.
[04:26] Rentaro
    Could you help me?
[04:35] Rentaro
    Do you have any recommendations?
    My favorite genre is romance.
[04:40] Rentaro
    I'd like something with a good ending,
[04:43] Rentaro
    where the characters overcome
    difficulties to live happily ever after.
[04:49] Rentaro
    Any suggestions?
[05:00] Rentaro
    Look at this tiny girl running around...
[05:06] Rentaro
    Trying so hard to help me.
[05:09] Rentaro
    Trying way too hard!
[05:15] Rentaro
    "I'm so sorry."
[05:17] Rentaro
    "It was but a nuisance."
[05:19] Rentaro
    "Take what you need, and be on your way."
[05:25] Rentaro
    Nah, you picked these out for me,
    so I want to read them all.
[05:31] Rentaro
    Yeah, I'll borrow them all.
SIGN    Input Book ID
[05:34] Sign
    Card ID
[05:35] Librarian
    Oh, dear.
[05:36] Librarian
    Sorry, it takes a week
    to issue a new library card.
[05:41] Librarian
    Come back next week.
[05:42] Rentaro
    Skewered with office pens, 
    bound with red tape!
[05:59] Rentaro
    That book...
[06:02] Rentaro
    It belongs to you and not the library, right?
    You're willing to lend it to me?
[06:09] Rentaro
    Really? Thanks!
[06:14] Rentaro
    Oh, by the way, what's your name?
SIGN    Ohana-no-Mitsu High School Student ID
SIGN    Grade:
SIGN    First Year, Class 4
SIGN    Name:
SIGN    Yoshimoto Shizuka
SIGN    Issued:
SIGN    April 1, XXXX
SIGN    This document certifies that the above student is a enrolled at this school.
    Issued by the Ohana-no-Mitsu High School    Principal
[06:23] Rentaro
    Class 1-4, Yoshimoto Shizuka-san...
[06:26] Rentaro
    Oh, we're in the same class!
[06:29] Rentaro
    Sorry, I haven't memorized
    everyone's faces yet.
[06:33] Rentaro
    I'm Aijo Rentaro.
    Thanks for this, Yoshimoto-san.
SIGN    The Basics of Cooking
SIGN    The ABCs
[06:40] Hakari
    Oh!
[06:41] Hakari
    I think this recipe might be more in line 
    with Rentaro-kun's tastes.
SIGN    Up Your Femininity
[06:45] Karane
    Huh? L-Lemme see.
[06:47] Hakari
    Look at your own book.
[06:50] Rentaro
    Oh, wow. Are those all cookbooks?
[06:53] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun!
[06:55] Hakari
    I kept picking out more and more books
    trying to find something that'd make you happy!
[06:59] Karane
    I-I just wanted to boost
    my repertoire of dishes!
[07:06] Rentaro
    You two!
[07:07] Rentaro
    I'm blessed to have
    such hard-working girlfriends!
[07:16] Rentaro
    "Circlet Love Story."
[07:18] Rentaro
    A story of Princess Io
    and her knight Kamakuru,
[07:22] Rentaro
    and their star-crossed romance.
SIGN    romance
[07:27] Io
    I hope that your fealty and
    propriety will remain steadfast.
[07:33] Io
    Sir Kamakuru, I do hereby
    proclaim thee my knight.
[07:38] Kamakuru
    Princess Io, I swear on my life that
    I will protect you, no matter what it takes!
[07:44] Rentaro
    Those were the very first words exchanged 
    between Princess Io and Sir Kamakuru.
[08:24] Rentaro
    And then, the two locked eyes.
[08:28] Rentaro
    They would rise above their status 
    as princess and knight,
[08:31] Rentaro
    and give their hearts to each other.
[08:38] Butler
    She is to marry into our ally's royal family.
    I'm sure His Majesty is overjoyed.
[08:44] Kamakuru
    Princess Io!
[08:50] Kamakuru
    Princess Io! I swore on my life to protect you,
[08:54] Kamakuru
    and yet I... I...
[08:59] Kamakuru
    Is there no way for us to defy this fate?!
[09:05] Rentaro
    You can do it, Kamakuru, Io!
[09:07] Rentaro
    Don't let fate defeat you!
[09:09] Rentaro
    Beat the odds and live happily ever after!
SIGN    To be continued in Volume 2
[09:15] Rentaro
    The first book ends here?
SIGN    "Is there no way for us to defy this fate?!"
[09:21] Rentaro
    "Fate," huh?
[09:24] Rentaro
    Soulmates must be together, or else...
[09:30] Rentaro
    they die.
[09:45] Rentaro
    Good morning, Yoshimoto-san.
[09:48] Rentaro
    Thanks for this.
[09:50] Rentaro
    It was so good, I read it all in one night!
[09:57] Rentaro
    Huh?
[09:58] Rentaro
    Is that book...
[10:12] Rentaro
    You brought the sequel for me? Wow, thanks!
[10:16] Rentaro
    I'm dying to know what happens next!
[10:21] Rentaro
    But wait, I gotta repay you first.
[10:24] Rentaro
    I know!
[10:26] Rentaro
    Come with me for a sec!
SIGN    Recipe
[10:30] Hakari
    Oh!
[10:31] Hakari
    These animal nuggets are cute!
[10:33] Karane
    Okay, I'm gonna make 'em.
[10:35] Hakari
    Hey, quit stealing my ideas!
[10:38] Karane
    You wha? I found it first!
[10:41] Rentaro
    I feel like they're thick as thieves now.
[10:49] Rentaro
    It's nothing! Just my way of
    saying thanks for the book.
[10:59] Rentaro
    Do you read a lot?
[11:03] Rentaro
    I see. No wonder you knew about that series.
[11:07] Rentaro
    I've read lots of romance novels in the past,
[11:10] Rentaro
    but that was something else!
[11:12] Rentaro
    A charming love story and an epic adventure!
[11:15] Rentaro
    I was panicking hard when Io and
    Kamakuru had their misunderstanding!
[11:27] Rentaro
    "This is my favorite item, too."
[11:30] Rentaro
    "I have carried it from an early age."
[11:34] Rentaro
    "She pored over the text repeatedly."
[11:37] Rentaro
    I see. That explains it.
[11:41] Rentaro
    I mean, the way you talk...
[11:44] Rentaro
    You always flip the pages
    and find the right line to say in an instant.
[11:49] Rentaro
    You must know that book
    like the back of your hand.
[11:55] Rentaro
    I've never read the same book
    over and over like that.
[11:59] Rentaro
    That's so cool.
[12:03] Rentaro
    Yoshimoto-san?
[12:07] Rentaro
    "I am unworthy of such praise."
[12:11] Rentaro
    "It was an act that came naturally to her."
[12:16] Rentaro
    "Given the kind of person I am,"
[12:18] Rentaro
    "there has never been even one person
    I could call a friend in all my life."
[12:23] Rentaro
    "Only the world I saw
    through here gave me respite."
[12:29] Rentaro
    "I thank you from the bottom of my heart."
[12:33] Rentaro
    "For you do not shun
    the person I have become."
[12:36] Rentaro
    Shun you? Why would I?!
[12:46] Rentaro
    Hey, sorry, can I borrow
    that first volume again?
[12:51] Rentaro
    I'll give it back as soon as I can.
[12:59] Rentaro
    Thanks.
SIGN    LIBRARY
[13:12] Librarian
    You're in high spirits, Yoshimoto-san.
[13:14] Librarian
    Did something good happen?
[13:19] Librarian
    "I vehemently deny that accusation."
[13:22] Librarian
    "The days go by, unchanging as ever."
[13:24] Librarian
    "I am merely carrying out my duty."
[13:27] Librarian
    "And what is my duty..."
[13:30] Librarian
    Okay, okay! I get it!
SIGN    Love, Taiyaki,
    and Me
SIGN    Love, Taiyaki,
    and Me
SIGN    The Next Day
SIGN    The Next Day
SIGN    Two Days Later
SIGN    Three Days Later...
[14:30] Hakari
    You always seem so
    sleepy lately, Rentaro-kun.
[14:34] Rentaro
    Yeah... I've just been getting busy.
[14:37] Rentaro
    I've had a few late nights.
[14:40] Hakari
    "Late nights"?
[14:41] Karane
    "Getting busy"?
[14:46] Rentaro
    Is something wrong?
[14:50] Rentaro
    Oh, okay. If you say so.
[15:00] Rentaro
    H-Hakari?!
[15:02] Hakari
    Just sharing some of my energy.
[15:05] Hakari
    Tee-hee!
[15:08] Rentaro
    Thank you, Hakari, my dear angel!
[15:10] Karane
    Gah! H-H-Hold up!
[15:13] Karane
    I've got plenty of energy
    for you myself, you know!
[15:15] Rentaro
    Really?
[15:20] Rentaro
    Sweet Chin Music, delivered via headbutt?!
[15:22] Karane
    Oh, s-sorry!
[15:24] Rentaro
    Thank you, Karane, my Gradivus!
[15:26] Karane
    Why am I the god of war now?!
[15:29] Shizuka
    Aijo-kun already has a girlfriend.
[15:33] Shizuka
    No wonder.
[15:35] Shizuka
    He's too busy to read books all the time.
[15:42] Shizuka
    What did I expect? Nobody...
[15:45] (Flashback) Girl 1
    What's your deal, Yoshimoto-san?
    Why do you always talk through that book?
[15:49] (Flashback) Girl 2
    Can't you just talk normally? It's creepy.
[15:53] (Flashback) Shizukamom
    Why can't you talk like the other kids?!
[15:56] (Flashback) Shizukamom
    Come on, speak up!
[15:58] (Flashback) Shizukamom
    You'll never be able to talk
    if you keep clinging to that stupid book!
[16:01] (Flashback) Shizuka
    S-Sorry...
[16:02] (Flashback) Shizukamom
    Come on, say something!
[16:05] (Flashback) Shizukamom
    Speak!
[16:06] (Flashback) Shizukamom
    Speak already!
[16:07] (Flashback) Shizukamom
    Why are you such a freak?!
[16:14] Shizuka
    Nobody has the time
    to talk to a freak like me.
[16:35] Rentaro
    Oh, good. You're still here, Yoshimoto-san.
[16:39] Rentaro
    You see, I wanted to repay you today
    for lending me your books.
[16:51] Rentaro
    Do you have a smartphone?
[16:55] Rentaro
    Great.
[16:56] Rentaro
    There's an app I want you to install.
[16:58] Rentaro
    Don't worry. I've confirmed it's safe.
[17:11] Rentaro
    Yeah, that's the one.
[17:14] Rentaro
    Once you've installed it, could you
    use it to import the file I send you?
[17:23] Rentaro
    Done?
[17:25] Rentaro
    Now open it up.
[17:32] Shizuka
    It's the first volume of Circlet Love Story*.
[17:35] Shizuka
    But I'm sure it hasn't been 
    released as an e-book.
[17:39] Rentaro
    Now, when you select a part of the text...
[17:44] Shizuka
    "I am Kamakuru,
[17:46] Shizuka
    a knight sworn to protect 
    our beloved princess."
[17:49] Rentaro
    It's a text-to-speech software.
[17:53] Rentaro
    It'll read out whatever text that is
    inputted using a synthesized voice.
[18:00] Shizuka
    No way...
[18:02] Shizuka
    He went through the whole book and typed 
    every single word into this thing?
[18:06] Shizuka
    And he did it all manually?!
[18:10] Rentaro
    The way you were doing it, both you
    and the person you were talking to
[18:15] Rentaro
    had to look at the book, right?
[18:17] Rentaro
    So you never really got to talk face-to-face.
[18:21] Rentaro
    But if you use this app...
[18:24] Shizuka
    "You can look each other in the eye."
[18:26] Rentaro
    ...while you talk.
[18:30] Rentaro
    I can't even begin to imagine
    how hard it is for you to talk out loud.
[18:38] Rentaro
    So I can't bring myself to push you to do it.
[18:43] Rentaro
    But...
[18:44] Rentaro
    I did want to make communicating
    with others easier for you,
[18:48] Rentaro
    and I hope this helps, even a little.
[18:51] Rentaro
    Now, let's give it a shot.
[18:53] Rentaro
    Try saying something to me.
[19:04] Shizuka
    "I love you."
[19:15] Shizuka
    "I apologize."
[19:16] Shizuka
    "Pray, pay it no heed."
[19:21] Shizuka
    "I ask not for an answer."
[19:25] Shizuka
    "I know already there is 
    a maiden promised to you."
[19:29] Shizuka
    "I only wished to make 
    my feelings known before..."
[19:33] Rentaro
    Ah, I see now.
[19:37] Rentaro
    It's not because she's my soulmate,
[19:39] Rentaro
    or because I have to save her life, 
    or anything like that.
[19:45] Rentaro
    I truly, genuinely just...
[19:53] Rentaro
    "I love you, too!"
[19:59] Shizuka
    "But we are destined to never be together."
[20:08] Rentaro
    "If fate stands in our way...
[20:15] Rentaro
    we need only break through it!"
[20:19] Rentaro
    "Let's go forth together,"
[20:21] Rentaro
    Shizuka!
[20:32] Rentaro
    And there you have it.
[20:35] Rentaro
    Could I have your permission to make
    Yoshimoto Shizuka-chan my newest girlfriend?
[20:39] Karane
    Did your damn brain rot away?!
[20:42] Karane
    Did. Your. Damn. Brain. Rot. Away?!
[20:44] Rentaro
    I can't even argue with that.
[20:46] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun... how could you...
[20:50] Karane
    Hakari...
[20:51] Hakari
    You've found a new love,
    and yet you have the grace not to dump us!
[20:56] Hakari
    How could you be so endlessly kind?!
[20:58] Karane
    Somebody stop this brainrot epidemic!
[21:00] Rentaro
    No! My feelings for you haven't
    shifted to Shizuka-chan or anything!
[21:05] Rentaro
    If I could make an analogy,
[21:06] Rentaro
    it's not that you'll be sharing
    the spoils from the same old oil field.
[21:08] Rentaro
    It's that meeting Shizuka-chan has
    unearthed a whole new, untapped reserve!
[21:11] Karane
    Could you maybe not compare your 
    love for your girlfriends to fossil fuels?
[21:15] Rentaro
    Anyway, I'll cherish the two of you
    and Shizuka-chan just the same as ever—
[21:20] Rentaro
    No, even more than before!
    And I'll prove it with my actions!
[21:25] Karane
    Even more than before? Really?
[21:27] Rentaro
    Really. And if you ever feel
    like I'm not, tell me.
[21:32] Rentaro
    And I'll atone for it
[21:35] Rentaro
    by committing seppuku.
[21:36] Karane
    Who're you, a samurai?!
[21:37] Hakari
    Such a man! You're a man
    among men, Rentaro-kun!
[21:41] Rentaro
    It's the natural course of action.
[21:42] Rentaro
    Anybody who hurts his loved ones is
    a piece of trash that has no right to live.
[21:48] Rentaro
    I've already ordered a gangsta knife online.
[21:48] Karane
    Fine, I get that you're serious about this!
[21:51] Rentaro
    No, this is something I need to do.
[21:51] Narrator
    And so the love triangle
    becomes a love rectangle.
[21:55] Narrator
    Can Rentaro handle this?
[21:55] Rentaro
    I need something tangible
[21:56] Narrator
    Can he maintain this eccentric relationship
    with no real experience to speak of?
[21:57] Rentaro
    to serve as a reminder to myself...
[21:59] Rentaro
    To serve as proof of my 
    continued love for you three.
[22:02] Narrator
    Or is he doomed?
SIGN    Aijo Rentaro-san
[22:02] Sign
    Gangsta Knife        One that inflicts a painful, certain death
[22:03] Narrator
    Is he gonna have to commit hara-kiri?!
SIGN    Soulmates yet to come... 97/100

E4 - Just When You Think It's a Hanky-Panky Episode
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Rentaro
    On that note...
[00:02] Rentaro
    You may already recognize them
    because we're all in the same class,
[00:05] Rentaro
    but these are my girlfriends,
    Hanazono Hakari-san and Inda Karane-san.
[00:09] Hakari
    Pleased to meet you.
[00:11] Karane
    Right. Heya.
[00:13] Rentaro
    And this is Yoshimoto Shizuka-chan,
    also my girlfriend.
[00:18] Hakari
    I wonder what she's like.
[00:20] Karane
    She seems rather ordinary at first glance.
[00:23] Shizuka
    "Likewise."
[00:24] Shizuka
    "It is a pleasure to make thine acquaintance."
[00:27] Hakarikarane
    Quirky be thy name!
SIGN    The 100 Girlfriends
    Who Really, Really, Really, Really, REALLY Love You
SIGN    Crossing
SIGN    Reminiscing Lunch
SIGN    B-Come Tast-E
SIGN    I went all-out making lunch this morning <3
SIGN    To Rentaro-kun
    You might think this is all a bit overblown,
    but I'm writing this letter to express how thankful I am for all you do.
    Rentaro-kun, thank you so much for always bringing joy into my life.
    I've put all my feelings of gratitude into making lunch for you.
    Would you eat with me, if you don't mind?
    I'll be waiting on the rooftop during lunch break <3
    -Hakari
    P.S. I believe my figure has become
    more shapely these days.
    I'm including a photograph
    I took recently along with this letter.
    Enjoy <3
SIGN    To Rentaro!
    You'd better come to the rooftop during lunch break!
    Promise me you will!!
    Don't ask why! Just do it!
    I made too many side dishes, is all!
    (Though part of it was me hoping you would eat them...)
    So don't get the wrong idea! I'm just repaying you here!
    We gotta eat lunch together!!!!
    - Inda Karane
SIGN    To Rentaro-kun
    It feels a little strange writing to you
    when we see each other all the time.
    But I'm much better at expressing
    my feelings through writing, so I figured I should
    tell you how I constantly feel about you this way.
    Thank you truly for always looking out for me
    and respecting my feelings.
    I will treasure the days I spend with you for life.
    Rentaro-kun, do you happen to have time
    during lunch break today? If you do,
    then I would love to have lunch with you.
    -Yoshimoto Shizuka
SIGN    When a > 0 and b > 0,
    the Rentaro a/b + b/a >= 2 Nano inequation becomes
    a/b > 0 and b/a > 0.
    With the addition of "Gratitude" and the arithmetic mean of "Lunch,"
    we get Rentaro = a/b + b/a >= Lunch 2√(a/b x b/a)
    = 2x Happiness
    = Nano
    Lunch a² + Lunch b² >= 2ab
    (a-b)² = If you eat it, it no longer exists
    As such, when a = b, lunch will be proven.
SIGN    Rentaro, thanks for everything, aye.
    It looks like today will be a beautiful day,
    so I wanna eat lunch with you, aye!
    It'll be delicious for sure, aye!
    Note: Heat this area up for a surprise!
SIGN    Hngh
[02:00] Rentaro
    Shizuka-chan.
[02:02] Rentaro
    The data I sent you for volume 2 
    of Circlet Love Story
[02:04] Rentaro
    also includes the names of our classmates.
[02:06] Rentaro
    Give it a try.
[02:08] Shizuka
    "I am most grateful."
[02:10] Rentaro
    Shizuka-chan uses quotes
    from her favorite series to talk.
[02:13] Rentaro
    See last time's Episode 3 for more details.
[02:15] Karane
    Quit breaking the fourth wall because
    you're too lazy to do the exposition.
[02:20] Shizuka
    "Rentaro-kun." "Lady Hanazono." "Lady Inda."
[02:24] Karane
    What's with the "Lady"? Just "san" is fine.
[02:29] Rentaro
    She's a librarian, and she loves books.
[02:33] Rentaro
    She does this cute thing
    with her toes when she's reading.
[02:37] Rentaro
    They move differently depending on
    how she feels about a particular scene.
SIGN    Happy
[02:42] Rentaro
    They're like a puppy's tail.
SIGN    Scared
[02:45] Rentaro
    It's so cute how expressive they are.
[02:49] Shizuka
    I had no idea!
[02:53] Rentaro
    Speaking of cute gestures,
[02:55] Rentaro
    Hakari has a habit of putting a finger
    to her mouth when she's thinking.
[02:59] Rentaro
    And when she's really focused,
    she kind of om-noms it,
[03:02] Rentaro
    which is so very hot to me.
[03:04] Hakari
    W-Was I really doing something so naughty?
[03:08] Rentaro
    And when Karane's trying to
    brush off a compliment,
[03:11] Rentaro
    she twirls her pigtails with her fingers.
[03:14] Rentaro
    It's such a contrast
    to her usual self, it's adorable!
[03:17] Karane
    Twirl? Who, me?!
[03:21] Shizuka
    He...
[03:21] Hakari
    He...
[03:22] Karane
    He...
[03:23] All
    He cares so much about me!
[03:28] Rentaro
    Oh, right. When we kiss...
[03:31] Rentaro
    Hakari pouts a little, and Karane
    gets so into it that she stops breathing.
[03:36] Rentaro
    It's just so...
[03:38] Shizuka
    "P-Prithee! Do you mean to say 
    you have previously partaken in bussing?"
[03:43] Rentaro
    Bussing?
[03:45] Shizuka
    "B-B-Buh-Buh-Buh..."
[03:49] Shizuka
    "And when you say bussing,
[03:51] Shizuka
    do you truly mean bussing?!"
[03:53] Rentaro
    Yeah, well, bussing is bussing,
    so it truly is bussing.
[04:00] Shizuka
    "Forgive me. I appear to have 
    lost my composure."
[04:03] Shizuka
    "I see. So you have already 
    locked lips with her."
[04:07] Hakari
    Wait, Yoshimoto-san,
    are you interested in kissing, too?
[04:13] Shizuka
    "I... I..."
[04:17] Shizuka
    "It is my god-ordained destiny to 
    remain chaste until marriage!"
SIGN    Destiny
[04:21] Hakari
    Destiny?!
[04:22] Rentaro
    God?!
[04:24] Shizuka
    "Forgive me."
[04:26] Rentaro
    It's fine. We can take it slow and steady.
[04:30] Rentaro
    And personally...
[04:34] Rentaro
    I want to kiss you when you're ready.
SIGN    Want to
    kiss now
SIGN    Want it right now,
    baby, right now
[04:48] Hakari
    Say "aah."
[04:51] Karane
    Say "aah!"
[04:53] Hakari
    Aah.
[04:54] Karane
    Aah!
[04:56] Hakari
    Hey, quit trying to butt in!
[04:58] Karane
    L-Listen, I had the idea first!
[05:00] Rentaro
    I'm having my cake...
[05:02] Rentaro
    and eating it, too...
[05:06] Karane
    What are you doing?!
[05:08] Karane
    You're such a fool!
[05:10] Karane
    And get this, they were like...
[05:13] Hakari
    Forget that, Rentaro-kun.
    Would you like to accompany me...
[05:15] Karane
    Hey, I wasn't done talking!
[05:17] Hakari
    It's about time I had my turn!
[05:19] Karane
    You talked his ear off a minute ago!
[05:21] Hakari
    Right back at you!
[05:23] Rentaro
    Mind your personal space,
    or you're gonna kiss each other again.
[05:27] Karane
    You stubborn pig!
[05:29] Rentaro
    Yeah, Shizuka-chan's staying quiet.
[05:32] Rentaro
    I guess she needs to get used to them first.
[05:35] Rentaro
    Which is why...
[05:37] Rentaro
    I came prepared.
SIGN    N. O. Thawts
[05:41] Sign
    Head M. T.
[05:41] Rentaro
    People usually put up a front 
    before breaking the ice with someone new.
[05:46] Rentaro
    We're afraid we'll alienate them 
    if we show our true feelings.
[05:51] Rentaro
    And that's why...
[05:53] Rentaro
    It becomes much easier to open your heart 
    to people who have already seen into it.
[06:06] Rentaro
    When you've exposed
     your true self to someone,
[06:09] Rentaro
    you overcome the fear 
    of meeting them head-on,
[06:11] Rentaro
    making it easier to relate.
[06:16] Rentaro
    Girls, I brought a pack of cards.
[06:19] Rentaro
    Do you want to play Old Maid?
[06:24] Hakarikarane
    Old Maid?
[06:24] Shizuka
    "Old... Maid?"
[06:26] Rentaro
    Oh, but let's spice things up a little
    by adding a penalty for losing.
[06:32] Rentaro
    How about the loser
    gets tickled by the winner?
[06:36] Rentaro
    Indeed. There exists a way to force 
    someone to reveal their emotions.
[06:41] Rentaro
    And that's laughter.
[06:43] Rentaro
    The goals are "contact" and "laughter."
[06:45] Rentaro
    I call it Operation Everyone Tickles 
    Each Other So We Become Friends!
[06:51] Karane
    Rentaro...
[06:52] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun...
[06:54] Shizuka
    Tickling me?
[06:56] All
    Want!
[06:57] Rentaro
    Why does this suddenly feel like three-on-one?
[06:59] Narrator
    And so began the game of Old Maid.
[07:02] Narrator
    End of round one. The winner: Rentaro.
[07:06] Rentaro
    Old Maid, a super repetitive
    and uneventful game.
[07:09] Rentaro
    It ended in between cuts.
[07:11] Narrator
    The loser: Karane.
[07:12] Karane
    Wha? Last place? I don't believe it.
[07:14] Karane
    Hmph! Bring on your penalty
    or whatever, I can take it!
[07:18] Hakari
    At least try to hide the smile!
[07:20] Rentaro
    Here I come, Karane!
[07:27] Karane
    Hmph! I-It's not like it t-tickles
    or anything, okay?!
[07:31] Rentaro
    What is even the point of trying to hide it?
[07:45] Rentaro
    You're making it look like
    I'm doing something dirty here!
[07:51] Narrator
    Round two winner: Rentaro.
[07:54] Narrator
    The loser: Hakari.
[07:56] Hakari
    Oh, no... I've lost.
[07:58] Hakari
    Woohoo! Let's go!
[07:59] Karane
    Girl, you're saying the quiet part out loud.
[08:03] Hakari
    Please be gentle.
[08:05] Karane
    Who told you to strip?!
[08:07] Karane
    No! It's illegal now!
[08:08] Karane
    No stripping!
[08:10] Rentaro
    Here I come, Hakari!
[08:17] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun...
[08:19] Hakari
    His big hands...
[08:21] Hakari
    His sturdy fingers!
[08:23] Hakari
    They're running roughshod over my body!
[08:25] Hakari
    Oh... oh... ohhh!
[08:30] Rentaro
    Are we really allowed to air this?!
[08:33] Hakari
    S-Stop it!
[08:35] Hakari
    I-I'm sorry. I'm just very ticklish...
[08:39] Rentaro
    Oh, is that so? Don't worry about me.
[08:46] Hakari
    Saved by the bell!
[08:47] Hakari
    I was this close to ecsta-pee!
[08:49] Hakari
    I-I'm in the clear, right?
[08:50] Hakari
    I am, right?!
[08:53] Narrator
    Round three winner: Rentaro.
[08:56] Rentaro
    The universe wills me
    to tickle all who stand before me.
[09:01] Narrator
    The loser: Shizuka.
[09:04] Rentaro
    But, hey, I was kinda looking forward to this.
[09:08] Rentaro
    I can't wait to hear how Shizuka-chan laughs.
[09:12] Rentaro
    Okay, here I come, Shizuka-chan!
[09:15] Rentaro
    Tickle, tickle, tickle!
[09:16] Rentaro
    Tickle, tickle, tickle!
[09:18] Rentaro
    Tickle, tickle, tickle!
[09:19] Rentaro
    Tickle, tickle, tickle!
[09:21] Shizuka
    "She gave a hearty laugh."
[09:22] Rentaro
    Okay, that is not what I was expecting!
[09:25] Rentaro
    Huh? You even laugh through quotes?
[09:28] Shizuka
    "Alas, reality is a cruel mistress."
[09:31] Rentaro
    But she looked super adorable,
    so I'm going back in!
[09:34] Rentaro
    Tickle, tickle, tickle!
[09:35] Shizuka
    "She gave a hearty laugh."
[09:37] Shizuka
    "She gave a hearty laugh."
[09:38] Karane
    Uh... I guess you could say
    she's laughing really hard?
[09:40] Shizuka
    "She gave a hearty laugh."
[09:40] Hakari
    It's the quietest burst
    of laughter ever recorded.
[09:42] Shizuka
    "She gave a hearty laugh."
[09:44] Shizuka
    "She gave a hearty laugh."
[09:44] Karane
    But now that I think about it...
[09:47] Hakari
    ...Rentaro-kun hasn't lost once yet.
[09:47] Shizuka
    "She gave a hearty laugh."
[09:49] Karane
    The mission "Get Tickled 
    by Rentaro" is cleared.
[09:52] Shizuka
    "She gave a hearty laugh."
[09:52] Hakari
    The next mission is...
[09:54] Karane
    I wanna tickle him!
[09:56] Hakari
    And feel all over his body!
[09:58] Hakarikarane
    But to do that...
[10:00] Karane
    I need to win this game!
[10:02] Hakari
    It's a battle I can't afford to lose!
[10:05] Rentaro
    Where'd these tryhard vibes come from?
[10:07] Rentaro
    D'oh!
[10:09] Narrator
    Round four loser: Rentaro.
[10:12] Narrator
    And the winner: Shizuka.
[10:15] Rentaro
    Bring it, Shizuka-chan!
[10:18] Shizuka
    "As you wish."
[10:37] Shizuka
    "How is that?"
[10:39] Rentaro
    What the heck? This actually
    tickles more than I thought!
[10:42] Hakari
    Poke a man?!
[10:48] Hakari
    Why? This is the perfect excuse 
    to feel him all over!
[10:52] Hakari
    Even if she let her hand wander 
    to Places That Must Not Be Named,
[10:56] Hakari
    she could get away with it right now!
[10:58] Hakari
    Was it this shy and timid demeanor 
    that attracted Rentaro-kun to her?
[11:04] Hakari
    Puppy dog eyes.
[11:06] Hakari
    Cute gestures.
[11:08] Hakari
    High-pitched voice.
[11:10] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun! Tee-hee!
[11:12] Hakari
    My appeal rests on careful 
    and calculated groundwork.
[11:14] Hakari
    I am what you would call a poser!
SIGN    Poser
[11:16] Hakari
    On the other hand, she is so timid,
[11:19] Hakari
    earnest and frail,
[11:20] Hakari
    anyone who sees her 
    would feel the urge to protect her!
[11:23] Hakari
    She's a natural-born smol floof!
[11:25] Hakari
    Argh!
[11:27] Hakari
    A formidable foe has appeared!
SIGN    Natural-Born Smol Floof
[11:30] Hakari
    A foe far more formidable than the train
    wreck that is Karane-san has appeared!
SIGN    An Insurmountable Wall!!!
[11:35] Shizuka
    "How is that?"
[11:41] Shizuka
    "I would say you have 
    suffered enough for one day."
[11:43] Rentaro
    Man, I laughed so much! Maybe too much.
[11:47] Rentaro
    Sorry, I need to hit the restroom.
[11:49] Hakari
    No way, does he need to ecsta-pee, too?!
SIGN    ba-dump
    ba-dump
[11:51] Sign
    ° Way off
[11:55] Karane
    Hey, Yoshimoto.
[11:59] Karane
    What was that?
[12:01] Hakari
    Karane-san?
[12:02] Karane
    What's your deal?
[12:16] Karane
    You're denying yourself
    because we're here, aren't you?
[12:21] Shizuka
    "That is not true."
[12:22] Karane
    It's obvious!
[12:24] Karane
    You're the only one keeping
    your distance from Rentaro!
[12:27] Karane
    And you stopped at poking him when I'm sure
    you wanted to tickle him all over, too!
[12:31] Karane
    Why are you acting so stupid?!
[12:34] Hakari
    Probably because you're scary.
[12:37] Hakari
    You yell at the drop of a hat, too.
[12:39] Karane
    You wha?
    When have I ever yelled at anyone?!
[12:43] Hakari
    Ignorance is bliss, huh?
[12:47] Shizuka
    "The two of you were" 
    "Rentaro-kun's" "lover from before."
[12:51] Shizuka
    "As I am but a newcomer, 
    I must stay out of your way."
[12:54] Karane
    Hmph! I figured as much.
[12:57] Karane
    But you know what?
    You're Rentaro's girlfriend now!
[13:01] Karane
    There's no need to hesitate!
[13:03] Karane
    It pisses me off,
[13:05] Karane
    looking at you fumbling around
    not saying what you wanna say!
[13:09] Hakari
    Says the girl who'd rather pick
    a fight than admit how she feels.
[13:14] Karane
    Shut yer mouth!
    Are you trying to pick a fight?!
[13:17] Shizuka
    "You are right. I apologize."
[13:20] Karane
    That's exactly what I'm talking about!
    Why don't you fight back?!
[13:24] Hakari
    As if that wouldn't make you even more mad.
[13:28] Karane
    You asked for it.
[13:29] Karane
    I'm losing it, and you have
    nobody to blame but yourself!
[13:32] Hakari
    Do you even have any temper left to lose?
[13:35] Shizuka
    "If that is the case, 
    I will speak from the heart."
[13:40] Shizuka
    "In truth, I am petrified with fear."
[13:45] Karane
    What... Am I really that scary?
[13:48] Hakari
    So you do care.
[13:50] Shizuka
    "That is not what I meant to say."
[13:53] Shizuka
    "The only thing I fear is..."
[13:55] Shizuka
    "Hanazono-san." "conducts herself 
    in an elegant and graceful manner."
[13:59] Shizuka
    "She is most ladylike, 
    and possesses great physical charm."
[14:02] Shizuka
    "Inda-san." "is a beauty blessed with 
    highly desirable facial features."
[14:06] Shizuka
    "Most of all, she has the confidence to match."
[14:10] Shizuka
    "Should I stand beside the two as an equal..."
[14:14] Shizuka
    "Rentaro-kun." "may compare us."
[14:17] Shizuka
    "I fear that most of all."
[14:19] Karane
    Wh-What the heck?
[14:20] Hakari
    What she said...
[14:23] Karanehakari
    That's just so adorable!
[14:27] Shizuka
    "I am ordinary." "And plain."
[14:30] Shizuka
    "Her physical appearance 
    resembled that of a child."
[14:32] Shizuka
    "Her personality," "gloomy and reserved."
[14:36] Shizuka
    "In your company," 
    "the difference is night and day."
[14:40] Karane
    H-Hey, you're plenty cute yourself.
[14:45] Karane
    You're tiny and gentle.
[14:47] Karane
    I-I think those are
    nice qualities in a girl. Hmph.
[14:53] Karane
    S-Sorry for saying
    you pissed me off and stuff...
[14:57] Hakari
    Exactly! There is nothing
    for you to worry about.
[15:01] Hakari
    Karane-san is always pissed off.
[15:03] Karane
    Wha?
[15:04] Hakari
    And Rentaro-kun's love runs deeper
    than we could ever imagine.
[15:10] Hakari
    I bet he could list dozens of points
    he likes about you off the top of his head.
[15:19] Shizuka
    "Inda-san." "Hanazono-san."
[15:21] Karane
    A-Anyway!
[15:22] Karane
    My point is, stop holding back because of us!
[15:27] Karane
    If you've got something to say to Rentaro
    or anything you want him to do,
[15:30] Karane
    you speak your mind! Got it?!
[15:33] Hakari
    Also, you can call us
    by our first names, Shizuka-san.
[15:38] Hakari
    We're fellow girlfriends, after all.
[15:40] Hakari
    Isn't that right, Karane-san?
[15:41] Karane
    H-Hmph! I guess!
[15:44] Karane
    You okay with that, Shizuka?
[15:50] Shizuka
    "Yes." "Hakari-san." "Karane-san."
[15:55] Rentaro
    That went better than I ever expected.
[16:01] (Flashback) Shizuka
    "How is that?"
[16:07] (Flashback) Rentaro
    Karane's glaring at Shizuka-chan?
[16:10] (Flashback) Rentaro
    This is bad. I don't know what's causing it,
[16:12] (Flashback) Rentaro
    but I need to step in 
    before a fight breaks out.
[16:16] (Flashback) Rentaro
    No, that's not the answer!
[16:19] (Flashback) Rentaro
    Why did I start this game 
    of Old Maid in the first place?
[16:23] (Flashback) Shizuka
    "How is that?"
[16:23] (Flashback) Rentaro
    If, every time I was worried, 
    anxious, or scared,
[16:27] (Flashback) Rentaro
    I made them hide how they truly feel,
[16:30] (Flashback) Rentaro
    they'll never get closer to each other!
[16:33] (Flashback) Rentaro
    If I want them to show the courage to do that,
[16:36] (Flashback) Rentaro
    then I also need to show 
    the courage to let them!
[16:39] (Flashback) Rentaro
    Sorry, I need to hit the restroom.
[16:42] Rentaro
    Like I thought, Karane was mad 
    for Shizuka-chan and not at her.
[16:45] Rentaro
    Hakari stepped in so Shizuka-chan 
    wouldn't face the brunt of that anger.
[16:50] Rentaro
    And Shizuka-chan accepted what Karane said 
    and bravely revealed how she felt!
[16:56] Rentaro
    These girls!
[17:00] Rentaro
    I'm back.
[17:02] Hakari
    Welcome back.
[17:04] Karane
    Rentaro, we're redoing
    that last loser's penalty.
[17:09] Rentaro
    Huh? Wh-Why?
[17:11] Karane
    That silly poking doesn't count as tickling!
[17:15] Karane
    Shizuka's gotta tickle you properly!
[17:18] Hakari
    That's right.
[17:19] Hakari
    You want another chance
    to tickle him, don't you, Shizuka-san?
[17:26] Shizuka
    They're both...
[17:27] Shizuka
    trying to help me.
[17:32] Shizuka
    I have to make their kindness count.
[17:36] (Flashback) Karane
    Stop holding back!
[17:39] (Flashback) Karane
    ...anything you want him to do,
[17:40] (Flashback) Karane
    you speak your mind!
[17:44] Shizuka
    I must speak my mind...
[17:46] Shizuka
    Say how I truly feel!
[17:49] Shizuka
    "I want to do it."
[17:53] Shizuka
    "I wish to be kissed."
[17:58] Shizuka
    "I said," "It is my god-ordained destiny 
    to remain chaste until marriage!"
[18:03] Shizuka
    "But that... was a lie."
[18:06] Rentaro
    I-It's fine. I figured as much.
[18:09] Shizuka
    "Deep in her heart,"
[18:11] Shizuka
    "I wished to share a kiss with you."
[18:14] Rentaro
    Thank you.
[18:16] Rentaro
    I'm so glad to hear it!
[18:36] Rentaro
    U-Uh, my bad! You were just so cute!
[18:56] Rentaro
    Shizuka-chan.
[19:05] Rentaro
    H-Huh?
[19:07] Rentaro
    Shizuka-chan?
[19:09] Rentaro
    Hello? Anybody home?
SIGN    ba-dump                   ba-dump
[19:10] Rentaro
    Can you see me? Shizuka-chan?!
SIGN    ba-dump                   ba-dump
[19:13] Hakari
    You made her speak her mind so clearly,
[19:17] Hakari
    so don't you think you should do the same?
[19:20] Karane
    Huh? Wh-Whaddaya mean?!
[19:22] Karane
    I-It's not like I'm hiding anything!
[19:25] Hakari
    Oh, really? Allow me, then.
[19:28] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun.
[19:30] Hakari
    May I kiss you, too?
[19:35] Karane
    Wha!
[19:38] Rentaro
    Sure.
[19:42] Rentaro
    Hakari.
[19:44] Hakari
    Um, am I still good?
[19:48] Hakari
    Has my appeal not paled
    in comparison to Shizuka-san?
[19:54] Rentaro
    Of course not!
[19:56] Rentaro
    Shizuka-chan, and Karane, and you!
[20:00] Rentaro
    You're all the cutest girls in the world!
[20:05] Hakari
    I knew you would say that if I asked.
[20:08] Rentaro
    Hakari!
[20:24] Rentaro
    Karane.
[20:26] Karane
    H-Hmph!
[20:27] Karane
    If you're so desperate, I guess
    I wouldn't mind throwing you a bone!
[20:32] Karane
    It's not like I care about it
    or anything, okay?
[20:35] Rentaro
    Why slide into position, then?
[20:37] Karane
    Or anything, okay?
[20:43] Rentaro
    Karane, you're so cute.
[20:45] Karane
    Wh-Wh-Wh-Wha?!
[20:47] Karane
    Wh-Where'd that come from?!
[20:51] Rentaro
    You're super-duper cute when you're flustered!
[20:56] Karane
    Wh-Why, you...
[20:58] Karane
    You dummy!
[20:59] Karane
    Dummy!
[21:01] Rentaro
    Sorry, sorry.
[21:03] Rentaro
    Ow, that hurts.
[21:04] Rentaro
    Yo, slow the hell down!
[21:11] Rentaro
    But I'd like to kiss you, Karane.
[21:14] Rentaro
    I really want to.
[21:19] Rentaro
    What about you?
[21:24] Karane
    I do, too.
[21:37] Hakari
    What's the matter, Rentaro-kun?
[21:40] Rentaro
    Well...
[21:41] Rentaro
    You're all amazing girlfriends,
    more than I ever deserve.
[21:47] Rentaro
    I just can't believe how lucky I am.
[21:49] Rentaro
    Thank you, all three of you!
[21:54] Karane
    Right.
[21:55] Hakari
    Back.
[21:56] Shizuka
    "At you,"
[21:57] Hakari
    ...of course.
[21:57] Karane
    ...dumbass.
[21:57] Shizuka
    "...she said."
[21:58] Rentaro
    Check out this parade of speech tics!
[22:05] Shizuka
    "She gave a hearty laugh."

E5 - The Hyper-Efficient Girl
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:05] Shizuka
    "Exam results" "put on display."
[00:08] Hakari
    I wonder when Rentaro-kun will get here.
[00:11] Karane
    A few minutes without his phone
    would've hardly killed him.
[00:13] Hakari
    Well, he did say he left it out
    in the open back in the classroom.
[00:17] Shizuka
    "'Tis very precious to" "Rentaro-kun."
[00:19] (Flashback) Rentaro
    It contains all my pictures and memories
    with you! It means the world to me!
SIGN    Hngh!!! <3 <3 <3
SIGN    A New
    Flashback...
SIGN    The Hngh
    Strikes Back
SIGN    Hngh!!! <3 <3 <3
[00:35] Rentaro
    There it is.
[00:36] Rentaro
    Phew.
[00:42] Rentaro
    I think that's... Eiai-san?
[00:47] Rentaro
    Hey, the test results have been posted up.
[00:50] Rentaro
    Aren't you going to check?
[00:52] Nano
    Meaningless.
[00:54] Nano
    I know I have the top score.
[00:55] Nano
    Checking would be a waste of time.
SIGN    Krrrack!!!
[01:11] Rentaro
    There it is again. That zing 
    when we first make eye contact...
[01:16] Rentaro
    Is she a soulmate?
[01:20] Rentaro
    If you don't mind, why don't we
    go look at the results together?
[01:27] Nano
    Again, that would be a waste of time.
[01:30] Rentaro
    Huh? Oh, right, s-sorry.
SIGN    The 100 Girlfriends
    Who Really, Really, Really, Really, REALLY Love You
SIGN    Crossing
SIGN    Reminiscing Lunch
SIGN    B-Come Tast-E
SIGN    I went all-out making lunch this morning <3
SIGN    To Rentaro-kun
    You might think this is all a bit overblown,
    but I'm writing this letter to express how thankful I am for all you do.
    Rentaro-kun, thank you so much for always bringing joy into my life.
    I've put all my feelings of gratitude into making lunch for you.
    Would you eat with me, if you don't mind?
    I'll be waiting on the rooftop during lunch break <3
    -Hakari
    P.S. I believe my figure has become
    more shapely these days.
    I'm including a photograph
    I took recently along with this letter.
    Enjoy <3
SIGN    To Rentaro!
    You'd better come to the rooftop during lunch break!
    Promise me you will!!
    Don't ask why! Just do it!
    I made too many side dishes, is all!
    (Though part of it was me hoping you would eat them...)
    So don't get the wrong idea! I'm just repaying you here!
    We gotta eat lunch together!!!!
    - Inda Karane
SIGN    To Rentaro-kun
    It feels a little strange writing to you
    when we see each other all the time.
    But I'm much better at expressing
    my feelings through writing, so I figured I should
    tell you how I constantly feel about you this way.
    Thank you truly for always looking out for me
    and respecting my feelings.
    I will treasure the days I spend with you for life.
    Rentaro-kun, do you happen to have time
    during lunch break today? If you do,
    then I would love to have lunch with you.
    -Yoshimoto Shizuka
SIGN    When a > 0 and b > 0,
    the Rentaro a/b + b/a >= 2 Nano inequation becomes
    a/b > 0 and b/a > 0.
    With the addition of "Gratitude" and the arithmetic mean of "Lunch,"
    we get Rentaro = a/b + b/a >= Lunch 2√(a/b x b/a)
    = 2x Happiness
    = Nano
    Lunch a² + Lunch b² >= 2ab
    (a-b)² = If you eat it, it no longer exists
    As such, when a = b, lunch will be proven.
SIGN    Rentaro, thanks for everything, aye.
    It looks like today will be a beautiful day,
    so I wanna eat lunch with you, aye!
    It'll be delicious for sure, aye!
    Note: Heat this area up for a surprise!
SIGN    Hngh
SIGN    25th: Hanazono Hakari
[03:14] Hakari
    I placed 25th out of 240!
[03:17] Sign
    44th: Yoshimoto Shizuka
[03:18] Shizuka
    "The 44th assailant we had faced."
[03:20] Karane
    I-I ranked one higher than you!
[03:23] Karane
    I'm 87th, okay?!
SIGN    87th: Inda Karane
    88th: Aijo Rentaro
[03:25] Rentaro
    I'm so proud of you all!
SIGN    88th
[03:33] Rentaro
    Eiai Nano-san...
SIGN    Midterm Exam Results
    1st: Eiai Nano 700/700
[03:35] Rentaro
    Wait, 700? She got perfect scores 
    in every subject?!
[03:39] Rentaro
    Does anyone know much about
    Eiai-san, the girl in first place?
[03:42] Hakari
    She's in our class, isn't she?
[03:45] Shizuka
    "She could be seen always by 
    the window, engrossed in her studies."
[03:48] Karane
    I've never spoken to her,
[03:50] Karane
    but I've heard some rumors.
[03:53] Karane
    She pursues precision
    and efficiency above all else,
[03:56] Karane
    and she can answer
    any question about any subject.
[03:59] Karane
    They say she's a highly advanced AI.
[04:03] Rentaro
    A living, breathing urban legend!
SIGN    Biology Lab
[04:05] Bioteach
    All right, class.
[04:06] Bioteach
    Today, you'll study the epidermal cells
    of an onion and sketch your results.
[04:10] Bioteach
    One microscope for each desk.
    Come to me for your razors!
[04:11] Rentaro
    I'm paired up with Eiai-san.
[04:14] Rentaro
    Wait, stop gawking at her!
[04:17] Karane
    Happy Henry Lives Beside Boron Cottage,
[04:19] Rentaro
    Oh, I'll get our microscope.
[04:20] Karane
    Near Our Friend Nelly Nancy Mg Allen...
[04:22] Shizuka
    "Be ambitious!"
[04:23] Hakari
    You could also try this.
[04:25] Hakari
    Memorize the Li Be part with "liebe,"
    the German word meaning love.
[04:28] Karane
    S-Say what?!
[04:30] Karane
    I don't care one bit about this
    Happy Henry dude or anything, okay?
[04:34] Shizuka
    "O brave adventurer."
[04:36] Rentaro
    Unlike Hakari, Karane, and Shizuka-chan, 
    who are the epitome of cute,
[04:40] Rentaro
    Eiai-san is more 
    the elegant and beautiful type.
[04:46] Rentaro
    Go for it!
[04:49] Rentaro
    Eiai-san?
[04:51] Rentaro
    This is a lab, so we
    don't need our textbooks...
[04:54] Rentaro
    You're straight up copying?!
[04:56] Nano
    It's more efficient than using the microscope.
[04:58] Rentaro
    Is that what matters?!
[05:00] Rentaro
    That defeats the purpose of this practical...
[05:02] Nano
    Practicals are meaningless.
[05:04] Nano
    Scientists already gave us the answer.
    Retracing their steps is a waste of time.
[05:09] Nano
    But that's what this whole class is about?!
[05:11] Bioteach
    Ahem.
[05:13] Rentaro
    The teacher's watching us.
    We have to do this right.
[05:18] Nano
    Very well. I'll make it look like I am.
[05:19] Rentaro
    Actually do it!
[05:23] Rentaro
    The onion's not even on there.
    What are you focusing on?
[05:28] Rentaro
    Seriously, enough with the textbook!
[05:31] Nano
    Looking at the textbook is clearly
    more efficient. I fail to see the problem.
[05:36] Rentaro
    S-So this is what she's like. 
    She's got the cold rationality of an AI.
[05:42] Rentaro
    No wonder she's attracting 
    the wrong kind of attention.
[05:46] Rentaro
    Ow.
[05:55] Rentaro
    Guess I should go to the nurse's office.
[05:57] Nano
    This would be more efficient.
[05:59] Rentaro
    Huh?
[06:01] Rentaro
    Whoa?!
[06:03] Rentaro
    Huh? Wh-Wh-What are you...
[06:06] Nano
    Saliva contains anti-microbial agents.
[06:09] Nano
    You don't need a disinfectant
    for such a small cut.
[06:16] Rentaro
    This beautiful girl is sucking on my finger!
[06:21] Rentaro
    Her eyelashes are so long...
[06:23] Rentaro
    Her skin is so clear and smooth...
[06:26] Rentaro
    Her lips are so soft, and her tongue so warm...
[06:31] Rentaro
    What is happening? Am I dreaming?!
[06:35] Karane
    Hmph!
[06:36] Karane
    I-It's not like I care about looking at
    some stupid cells or anything, okay?!
[06:40] Hakari
    What are you even fighting against in life?
[06:43] Shizuka
    "Such a heavy cross to bear."
[06:55] Rentaro
    Hey, Eiai-san.
[06:57] Rentaro
    Thanks a lot for helping me.
[06:59] Nano
    Don't mention it.
[07:01] Nano
    Your absence would have reduced
    the efficiency of the cleanup process.
[07:06] Rentaro
    You sure put a lot on the line for that!
[07:09] Rentaro
    Still, I want to repay you somehow.
[07:12] Rentaro
    Are you thirsty? Can I get you a soda?
[07:15] Nano
    I am not.
[07:17] Nano
    Also, sodas are not
    the best choice for hydration.
[07:20] Rentaro
    You need your drinks to be efficient, too?!
[07:23] Rentaro
    I just want to get to know you better.
[07:27] Rentaro
    If you don't mind, that is.
[07:29] Nano
    I do not.
[07:31] Nano
    But it would be meaningless.
[07:33] Rentaro
    I feel meaningless!
[07:35] Rentaro
    U-Uh, I'd say having a fun chat is meaningful.
[07:40] Rentaro
    Just like time spent on hobbies and holidays.
[07:44] Nano
    I have never spent a single
    second on such activities.
[07:49] Nano
    I can tell that they are
    an unproductive use of time.
[07:53] Nano
    No amount of "fun" times
    will raise academic grades.
[07:57] Nano
    Nor will it improve performance metrics.
[08:00] Nano
    "Fun" produces nothing of value.
[08:02] Rentaro
    What?
[08:04] Rentaro
    Grades and performance aren't everything.
[08:07] Nano
    In this world, anything that doesn't improve
    your future prospects is meaningless.
[08:13] Rentaro
    Y-You're wrong!
[08:14] Rentaro
    Having fun is the meaning of life!
[08:18] Nano
    Meaning is defined as value.
[08:20] Nano
    Value is only created by utility, by benefits.
[08:25] Nano
    Be it money, tools, or knowledge.
[08:28] Rentaro
    Listen, I'm not talking about words
    and their definitions!
[08:33] Nano
    If it cannot be defined in words,
    it is only a delusion.
[08:36] Nano
    This debate is also a waste of time.
[08:39] Nano
    Goodbye.
[08:43] Rentaro
    Huh?
[08:44] Rentaro
    Is Eiai-san really...
[08:47] Rentaro
    my soulmate?
[09:02] (Flashback) Rentaro
    Thanks a lot, Eiai-san!
[09:15] Nano
    Why did I do that?
[09:18] Nano
    Was it to help Aijo Rentaro?
[09:21] Nano
    To win him over?
[09:24] Nano
    Why would I apply saliva to a wound?
[09:26] Nano
    I was fully aware of the risk of infection!
[09:30] Nano
    What is this feeling?
[09:33] Nano
    It's illogical!
[09:35] Nano
    Getting distracted is a waste of time!
[09:38] Nano
    Pi... 3.14159265358979323846264338—
[09:46] Nano
    Phew. That is the most efficient way
    to restore my focus.
[09:50] Nano
    Pi is life.
[09:54] Nano
    3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419!
[10:03] Nano
    I am currently wasting 
    a significant amount of time.
[10:09] Nano
    This is a problem!
[10:16] Nano
    Aijo Rentaro, I have come to the
    conclusion that I am in love with you.
[10:19] Nano
    I want you to enter a relationship with me.
[10:24] Rentaro
    Oh.
[10:28] Rentaro
    I love you, too, Eiai-san.
[10:31] Rentaro
    I would love to go out with you.
[10:34] Nano
    I must refuse.
[10:35] Rentaro
    Have I been pranked?!
[10:38] Nano
    The ideal outcome
    would have been for you to decline.
[10:42] Nano
    But since you did not,
[10:45] Nano
    I must do it myself.
[10:47] Rentaro
    What are you saying?
[10:49] Nano
    I came here today to put an end to this love.
[10:54] Rentaro
    But why? We like each other!
[10:58] Nano
    Romance only leads
    to matrimony and childbirth.
[11:02] Nano
    And at this moment, I am in no need of either.
[11:06] Nano
    This should be obvious.
[11:09] Nano
    Romance between teenagers is meaningless.
[11:12] Nano
    A complete waste of time.
[11:15] Nano
    I will never go out with you.
[11:23] Nano
    Goodbye.
[11:24] Rentaro
    Eiai-san! I hate to break it to you...
[11:28] Rentaro
    But unlike you,
[11:30] Rentaro
    I've already been rejected a hundred times.
[11:33] Rentaro
    You can't put an end to this love
    just by breaking my heart one more time!
[11:39] Rentaro
    You can't put an end to this love
    just by breaking my heart one more time!
[11:44] Nano
    Okay, but that is irrelevant to me.
[11:46] Rentaro
    If I stay in love with you,
[11:48] Rentaro
    you're not exactly ending this
    romance once and for all, are you?
[11:52] Nano
    Aijo Rentaro is in love with me! 
    3.141592658979—
[11:57] Rentaro
    I can't just draw a line in the sand like you.
[12:02] Rentaro
    So... could you go out on a date with me?
[12:07] Nano
    That would be...
[12:08] Rentaro
    If I can't win you over in that one day,
    I promise I'll give up on you!
[12:13] Rentaro
    So please!
SIGN    A Few Days Later
[12:24] Rentaro
    Come to think of it, 
    I'm going on an actual date.
[12:28] Rentaro
    My first-ever!
[12:30] Nano
    I am here.
[12:31] Rentaro
    Eiai-san!
[12:36] Rentaro
    A casual outfit...
SIGN    Casual Outfit...!!!
SIGN    The GOAT-fit...!!!
[12:38] Rentaro
    The GOAT-fit!
[12:40] Nano
    Are you sick? Do you want to cancel?
[12:42] Rentaro
    No! That would be too inefficient!
[12:46] Rentaro
    Anyway, let's head in.
[12:46] Rentaro
    My mission for today is to show 
    Eiai-san the time of her life!
[12:49] Rentaro
    Is there anything you're interested in?
[12:51] Rentaro
    I need her to realize that 
    a "fun" time with someone you like—
[12:53] Nano
    Not particularly.
[12:54] Rentaro
    Okay, so I'll take you around.
[12:54] Rentaro
    that love is meaningful!
[12:59] Nano
    Why does an amusement facility
    have a horse riding simulator?
[13:02] Rentaro
    I'm pretty sure that's not what it's for.
[13:05] Nano
    Then what is the point of this activity?
[13:09] Nano
    It creeps me out.
[13:11] Nano
    An instant camera?
[13:13] Rentaro
    You know about these? I've always
    liked them, for some reason.
[13:17] Nano
    It retains neither
    film negatives nor digital data.
[13:19] Nano
    If the photograph is lost, so too is
     all record of the event. A flawed device.
[13:23] Nano
    Highly illogical.
[13:24] Rentaro
    A true one-star review.
[13:26] Rentaro
    W-Well, never mind all that. Say cheese!
[13:31] Nano
    Cheese? What about cheese?
[13:37] Rentaro
    You look great. See?
[13:41] Nano
    Illogical.
SIGN    Haunted House
[13:45] Nano
    Ghosts are highly unscientific.
    They do not exist.
[13:48] Rentaro
    And I'm glad they don't.
[13:54] Nano
    Look closer. That's a live human.
[13:59] Nano
    Human.
[14:02] Nano
    Human.
[14:04] Nano
    They're all human.
[14:06] Nano
    Why are you so startled?
[14:08] Rentaro
    Why wouldn't I be? They jumped out at me!
[14:11] Nano
    Human.
[14:12] Rentaro
    Don't believe her! There's nobody in that suit!
SIGN    Haunted House
[14:19] Nano
    Nothing but humans.
[14:22] Nano
    Instead of "Haunted House,"
    they should call it "Human House."
[14:25] Rentaro
    So, a house?
[14:30] Rentaro
    You haven't ridden one of these
    before, right? What do you think?
[14:33] Nano
    This is insane.
[14:34] Rentaro
    And your comments are driving me insane.
[14:37] Nano
    People spinning around in giant cups.
[14:40] Nano
    What demand was this created to meet?
[14:43] Nano
    I understand nothing about this.
[14:45] Nano
    Especially the people lining up to get
    spun around without questioning any of it.
[14:50] Nano
    Could this be a brainwashing contraption that
    operates on music and centrifugal force?
[14:55] Rentaro
    Worst tea party ever!
SIGN    The Lost Little Lambs'
    Great Labyrinth
[14:58] Rentaro
    A giant maze! Let's give it a shot!
[15:03] Nano
    Getting a bird's-eye view
    is the most efficient solution.
[15:06] Rentaro
    It's giant for a reason!
[15:11] Rentaro
    Oops, another dead end.
[15:15] Nano
    Why so many dead ends?
[15:17] Nano
    Why not just build the correct path?
[15:19] Nano
    Such a waste of time.
[15:20] Rentaro
    It's a maze!
[15:22] Nano
    If only humans could
    come up with self-driving, too.
[15:25] Nano
    We would be able to navigate
    these mazes and our lives effortlessly.
[15:29] Rentaro
    We're human for a reason!
[15:31] Rentaro
    No date is complete without this.
[15:33] Rentaro
    The Ferris wheel!
[15:38] Rentaro
    Eiai-san, are you afraid of heights?
[15:43] Nano
    I-It is only natural to fear
    life-threatening elevation.
[15:50] Rentaro
    Oh, do you want me to sit next to you, then?
[16:04] Rentaro
    S-Sorry!
[16:33] Pa
    Thank you for visiting us today.
[16:37] Pa
    The park will close in thirty minutes.
[16:40] Rentaro
    See? You look a little bored here.
[16:44] Rentaro
    But you're really enjoying
    yourself in this one.
[16:47] Nano
    Correct.
[16:49] Nano
    How can you tell?
    People often tell me I seem emotionless.
[16:53] Rentaro
    It's not hard if I pay attention.
[16:55] Rentaro
    But I'm glad to see that you had fun.
[17:00] Rentaro
    So, what did you think?
[17:03] Nano
    Yes, I did enjoy it. Far more than I expected.
[17:07] Rentaro
    Really? Then...
[17:09] Nano
    However...
[17:10] Nano
    That was all.
[17:12] Nano
    It was "fun," but nothing else.
[17:15] Nano
    I obtained nothing of value. A meaningless day.
[17:21] Nano
    I'm sorry.
[17:22] Rentaro
    Nah, you don't have to apologize.
[17:25] Rentaro
    No two people share the same experience.
[17:28] Rentaro
    I'm happy you told me straight up
    what you thought instead of lying about it.
[17:33] Rentaro
    In that case...
[17:35] Rentaro
    It's a shame, but since it was
    such a meaningless day,
[17:39] Rentaro
    one not worth experiencing...
[17:42] Rentaro
    Let's erase it.
[17:44] Nano
    Yes.
[17:55] (Flashback) Nano
    It retains neither
    film negatives nor digital data.
[17:58] (Flashback) Nano
    If the photograph is lost, so too is
    all record of the event. A flawed device.
[18:17] Rentaro
    Sorry.
[18:18] Rentaro
    You know that you can't lose
    what you don't have.
[18:22] Rentaro
    But right now, you were
    afraid of losing something.
[18:26] Rentaro
    And I think that's proof that you have
    something you didn't have before.
[18:34] Rentaro
    You gained something today, Eiai-san.
[18:38] Rentaro
    Something that can't be defined
    in words or given a numerical score.
[18:43] Rentaro
    It might not help your future prospects,
[18:47] Rentaro
    but there's something of so much value,
    you didn't want to lose it.
[18:52] Rentaro
    And now it's yours.
[19:03] Nano
    What is this?
[19:05] Nano
    Why?
[19:08] Rentaro
    I'm sorry. But I wanted you to know...
[19:14] Rentaro
    There is a meaning to good times.
[19:17] Rentaro
    And enjoying those times is 
    what makes our lives meaningful.
[19:28] Rentaro
    Have you calmed down?
[19:29] Nano
    Yes.
[19:30] Nano
    Sorry about the handkerchief.
    I will disinfect and return it.
[19:34] Rentaro
    Huh? Oh...
[19:36] (Flashback) Nano
    Saliva contains anti-microbial agents.
[19:39] Rentaro
    Are you gonna lick it?
[19:40] Nano
    N-No! I will wash it!
[19:46] Nano
    Aijo Rentaro.
[19:50] Nano
    I love you. I want you to enter
    a relationship with me.
[19:57] Nano
    Through this romance, I want to obtain
    what I've been missing out on.
[20:02] Nano
    I want to spend these meaningful times
    that I never knew of with you.
[20:10] Rentaro
    I love you, too, Eiai-san!
    It would be my pleasure to go out with you!
[20:28] Nano
    I believe in fulfilling my desires
    without fretting about the means.
[20:32] Nano
    That's what's most efficient.
[20:34] Nano
    Did you mind?
[20:36] Rentaro
    N-No, I do not mind at all.
[20:53] Rentaro
    And that's the whole story.
[20:55] Rentaro
    Could I have your permission to make
    Eiai Nano-san my newest girlfriend?
[21:01] Karane
    Shock me once, shame on you!
    It doesn't even surprise me anymore!
[21:04] Karane
    Do whatever you want!
[21:06] Hakari
    If you deem me worthy enough
    to keep around, I ask for nothing else!
[21:11] Shizuka
    "As I myself am but reinforcement, 
    I have no grounds to object."
[21:15] Rentaro
    Thank you! I'll commit seppuku
    if I don't treat all of you right!
[21:20] Nano
    Seppuku isn't very efficient at
    killing people. Poison is more effective.
[21:25] Karane
    Quit optimizing his death!
[21:27] Hakari
    I'm more interested in that theme park date!
[21:31] Hakari
    That was one of my goals!
[21:33] Karane
    I-It's not like I've been busy, either.
[21:36] Karane
    I would've gone if you asked.
[21:38] Shizuka
    "A party for lovebirds."
[21:40] Shizuka
    "The Shangri-La of my dreams!"
[21:42] Nano
    Highly recommended. I wish to go, too.
[21:44] Karane
    Didn't you just go yesterday?!
[21:46] Nano
    Not as his girlfriend.
    That was before we entered a relationship.
[21:50] Rentaro
    Okay, let's all go somewhere this weekend.
[21:54] Rentaro
    Any ideas? Karaoke? The movies? Theme park?
[21:57] Hakari
    Just as planned!
[22:00] Hakari
    I have a suggestion!
[22:02] Hakari
    How about here?
SIGN    Theme Park Guide
SIGN    Open All Year Round
    The Biggest Pool Ever
[22:04] All
    The pool!
[22:05] Narrator
    Swimsuit episode incoming! Let's freakin' go!

E6 - Everyone's Favorite: The Swimsuit Episode
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Theme Park Guide
SIGN    Open All Year Round
    The Biggest Pool Ever
SIGN    Theme Park Guide
SIGN    Open All Year Round
    The Biggest Pool Ever
[00:08] Karane
    Sheesh.
[00:10] Karane
    Why did Hakari have to suggest 
    a pool out of nowhere?
[00:14] Karane
    I don't have any date-worthy swimwear.
[00:18] Karane
    I've only ever been to the pool 
    with other girls before.
[00:22] Karane
    Besides, I'm not the type 
    to wear these cutesy swimsuits.
[00:25] Karane
    Hmph! I-It's not like I think these are
    cute or anything, okay?!
[00:30] Staff
    I-I'm terribly sorry, miss...
[00:41] Karane
    Wait!
[00:42] Karane
    Again, this cutesy stuff 
    will never look good on me!
[00:51] Karane
    But...
[00:53] Karane
    maybe Rentaro will think it's nice...
SIGN    The 100 Girlfriends
    Who Really, Really, Really, Really, REALLY Love You
SIGN    Crossing
SIGN    Reminiscing Lunch
SIGN    B-Come Tast-E
SIGN    I went all-out making lunch this morning <3
SIGN    To Rentaro-kun
    You might think this is all a bit overblown,
    but I'm writing this letter to express how thankful I am for all you do.
    Rentaro-kun, thank you so much for always bringing joy into my life.
    I've put all my feelings of gratitude into making lunch for you.
    Would you eat with me, if you don't mind?
    I'll be waiting on the rooftop during lunch break <3
    -Hakari
    P.S. I believe my figure has become
    more shapely these days.
    I'm including a photograph
    I took recently along with this letter.
    Enjoy <3
SIGN    To Rentaro!
    You'd better come to the rooftop during lunch break!
    Promise me you will!!
    Don't ask why! Just do it!
    I made too many side dishes, is all!
    (Though part of it was me hoping you would eat them...)
    So don't get the wrong idea! I'm just repaying you here!
    We gotta eat lunch together!!!!
    - Inda Karane
SIGN    To Rentaro-kun
    It feels a little strange writing to you
    when we see each other all the time.
    But I'm much better at expressing
    my feelings through writing, so I figured I should
    tell you how I constantly feel about you this way.
    Thank you truly for always looking out for me
    and respecting my feelings.
    I will treasure the days I spend with you for life.
    Rentaro-kun, do you happen to have time
    during lunch break today? If you do,
    then I would love to have lunch with you.
    -Yoshimoto Shizuka
SIGN    When a > 0 and b > 0,
    the Rentaro a/b + b/a >= 2 Nano inequation becomes
    a/b > 0 and b/a > 0.
    With the addition of "Gratitude" and the arithmetic mean of "Lunch,"
    we get Rentaro = a/b + b/a >= Lunch 2√(a/b x b/a)
    = 2x Happiness
    = Nano
    Lunch a² + Lunch b² >= 2ab
    (a-b)² = If you eat it, it no longer exists
    As such, when a = b, lunch will be proven.
SIGN    Rentaro, thanks for everything, aye.
    It looks like today will be a beautiful day,
    so I wanna eat lunch with you, aye!
    It'll be delicious for sure, aye!
    Note: Heat this area up for a surprise!
SIGN    Hngh
SIGN    Day of the Date
[02:30] Rentaro
    You can tell this place just opened.
[02:32] Rentaro
    Look at all these people!
[02:34] Hakari
    We're here, Rentaro-kun.
[02:49] Machorentaro
    I can die happy now.
[02:53] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun?!
[02:55] Shizuka
    "I apologize."
[02:57] Shizuka
    "I assumed all students wore uniforms."
[03:01] Shizuka
    "I have brought shame upon this household."
[03:03] Rentaro
    You're wrong, Shizuka-chan.
[03:06] Rentaro
    No high schooler has the modesty to wear
    a school swimsuit to a water park, but you do!
[03:10] Rentaro
    That makes you a national treasure, I say!
[03:13] Shizuka
    "S-Such purity in those tears!"
[03:19] Rentaro
    Huh? Where's Karane, by the way?
[03:23] Rentaro
    Oh, there you are.
[03:25] Rentaro
    What are you doing over...
[03:29] Rentaro
    Huh?
[03:30] Rentaro
    Y-You came out in the middle of changing?!
[03:33] Rentaro
    You have to go back right now!
[03:35] Rentaro
    I'd rather die than have someone see you naked!
[03:38] Karane
    I'm not that crazy!
[03:40] Karane
    It's just... I feel kinda cold.
[03:42] Karane
    I'll hang out around here,
    so you four go have fun.
[03:46] Rentaro
    If you're sick, don't force yourself.
    Should we call it off?
[03:49] Hakari
    Yeah. We should do this
    when we're all up for it.
[03:53] Karane
    I-It's not that big a deal, okay?!
[03:57] Nano
    The sunlight there would be
    most effective in warming you up.
[04:00] Nano
    Th-Thanks.
[04:02] Nano
    But you don't have to worry about me.
[04:05] Nano
    We aren't close enough for me
    to worry about you yet.
[04:08] Karane
    Wha?!
[04:08] Nano
    You're being presumptuous.
[04:10] Karane
    Oh, for...
[04:11] Karane
    Shaddup! Get outta here already!
[04:14] Rentaro
    Well, she sure looks fine.
[04:18] Shizuka
    "I am not suited to naval warfare."
[04:22] Shizuka
    "I wish to keep watch with you."
[04:26] Karane
    Listen, I'll be okay, really.
[04:40] Hakari
    This whirlpool is huge!
[04:42] Rentaro
    Yeah. I wonder how long a lap is.
[04:46] Rentaro
    Shizuka-chan? Why are you spinning around?
[04:49] Shizuka
    "I fail to understand myself."
[04:51] Shizuka
    "I only know that there is 
    no escaping this fate."
[04:58] Nano
    Is this a survival training venue to
    prepare one for unforeseen scenarios?
[05:05] Rentaro
    Nano?
[05:08] Rentaro
    Don't you dare swim against the current.
[05:10] Hakari
    Eek!
[05:12] Hakari
    The current is so fast here!
[05:13] Rentaro
    Are you o—
[05:16] Hakari
    Eek! I'm getting swept away!
[05:19] Rentaro
    H-Hakari? You're doing this
    on purpose, aren't you?
[05:22] Hakari
    Huh? Whatever could you mean?
[05:27] Rentaro
    S-S-Stop that, seriously!
[05:29] Rentaro
    I don't see you all with lecherous eyes!
[05:34] Rentaro
    Hm? N-Nano?
SIGN    Squish <3
SIGN    Squish <3
[05:39] Rentaro
    N-N-N-N-Nano, n-n-n-no!
[05:43] Nano
    I also wish for you to appreciate
    my feminine appeal, Aijo Rentaro.
[05:47] Nano
    And this is the most efficient method.
[05:50] Hakari
    Wh-Wh-Wh-What do you think you're doing?!
[05:52] Hakari
    Well, two can play at that game!
[05:57] Nano
    Mine are firmer.
[05:59] Rentaro
    You two...
[06:00] Hakari
    Wha?! Mine are softer!
[06:02] Rentaro
    Seriously...
[06:03] Nano
    Mine are shapelier.
SIGN    Squish <3
[06:05] Rentaro
    Sto...
[06:05] Hakari
    Mine are bigger!
[06:07] Hakari
    What do you say, Rentaro-kun?!
[06:09] Nano
    Whose do you prefer?
[06:12] Hakari
    He... He's dead!
[06:19] Nano
    His pulse is faint but present.
[06:20] Nano
    However, he isn't breathing.
[06:23] Hakari
    W-We have to save him
    by giving him mouth-to-mouth.
[06:28] Hakari
    Please, Rentaro-kun, come back to me!
[06:34] Nano
    What are you freezing up for? Move.
[06:37] Nano
    I'll do it.
[06:39] Nano
    I won't let you die, Aijo Rentaro.
[06:41] Nano
    I still have much to learn from you!
[06:47] Hakari
    This is no time to be fooling around!
[06:50] Hakari
    We have to save him before it's too late!
[06:53] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun's going to die...
[06:55] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun's going to die!
[06:57] Hakari
    I must give him mouth-to-mouth this time!
[07:08] Shizuka
    Where am I?
[07:10] Shizuka
    When I realized I'd been separated from 
    them, I tried to swim back to them.
[07:17] Shizuka
    But the current has 
    swept me all the way here.
[07:23] Shizuka
    I should climb out of the pool.
[07:33] Narrator
    At that moment, it finally dawned on
    Shizuka that she was screwed.
[07:42] Shizuka
    "Pray help."
[07:44] Shizuka
    "Pray help."
[07:45] Shizuka
    "Pray help."
[07:47] Shizuka
    "Pray help."
[07:49] Shizuka
    "Pray help."
[07:51] Shizuka
    "Pray help."
SIGN    fssssshhhhh
[08:01] Narrator
    Date: A fine day in April.
    Place: An unnamed water park.
SIGN    fshh
[08:05] Narrator
    Location: An island in
    the middle of the whirlpool.
[08:08] Narrator
    Situation: Shizuka becomes a castaway.
[08:13] Hakari
    It's not...
[08:14] Nano
    ...working!
[08:15] Hakari
    I just can't give him...
[08:17] Nano
    ...mouth-to-mouth!
[08:19] Nano
    At this point, it would be more effective
    to ask someone else for help.
[08:23] Hakari
    You're right.
[08:25] Hakari
    Eiai-san, we need to find a lifeguard pronto.
[08:28] Hakari
    A male lifeguard!
[08:30] Nano
    Yes... Let's look for a male lifeguard.
[08:38] Purplehimbo
    Hello, ladies!
[08:41] Purplehimbo
    Wow, you're cute!
    What say we have some fun together?
[08:45] Hakari
    S-Sorry, we're kind of in a hurry!
[08:47] Purplehimbo
    Wait up.
[08:48] Purplehimbo
    Hear me out, will ya?
[08:50] Purplehimbo
    Whoo boy! Check out 'em gazongers!
[08:52] Purplehimbo
    And her upper arms look so supple!
[08:55] Purplehimbo
    Legend says that a girl's upper arms 
    are as soft as her boobs.
[09:01] Purplehimbo
    That means you don't need to 
    risk reaching out to the rack
[09:05] Purplehimbo
    in order to get a free trial 
    of the goodies, and it's legal!
SIGN    ° No it's not
[09:08] Purplehimbo
    There was a time I stuck my hand 
    out of a car going 60 kmph
SIGN    ° This is highly dangerous. Please do not try this at home.
[09:12] Purplehimbo
    in order to test out the theory that 
    the air would feel just like funbags...
[09:14] (Flashback) Purplehimbo
    That's a D-cup.
[09:15] (Flashback) M. Onlooker 1
    If you know, you know.
[09:16] (Flashback) M. Onlooker 2
    And I know.
[09:16] (Flashback) F. Onlooker
    Guilty as charged.
[09:17] Purplehimbo
    But it was just hot air!
[09:19] Himbosis
    Bruh...
[09:19] Purplehimbo
    I was left empty-handed.
[09:22] Purplehimbo
    This intellectual pursuit, my thirst for jugs,
[09:26] Purplehimbo
    is my very purpose in life!
[09:28] Purplehimbo
    Now teach me how your tiddy feels, girl!
[09:38] Purplehimbo
    Whoa, grabbing my arm?
    Not messing around, huh?
[09:42] Purplehimbo
    Then I'll get right down to
    business, too, and cop a f—Uck!
[09:49] Purplehimbo
    Eyes! My eyes!
[09:49] Nano
    The most efficient way to dispose of a perv.
[09:52] Brownhimbo
    Hey.
[09:53] Brownhimbo
    Don't think you can mess with us
    just 'cause yer a girl.
[09:57] Blondehimbo
    Now we're definitely
    not taking no for an answer.
[10:01] Narrator
    Hakari and Nano under attack by scumbags!
[10:04] Narrator
    Shizuka is castaway!
[10:07] Narrator
    Karane claims to be suffering
    from a mystery chill!
[10:10] Narrator
    And Rentaro is on the brink of death!
[10:12] Girl
    Wow. He dead.
SIGN    What's Gonna Happen in the Water Park Arc
[10:15] Narrator
    What's gonna happen in the water park arc?!
[10:19] Brownhimbo
    Now we're definitely
    not taking no for an answer.
[10:26] Nano
    Very well.
[10:27] Nano
    Then I will hang out with you.
[10:30] Hakari
    What?
[10:30] Hakari
    Eiai-san?
[10:32] Nano
    You find a male lifeguard to help
    Aijo Rentaro as soon as possible.
[10:38] Nano
    That's the best solution.
[10:40] Hakari
    B-But why do you have to take on that role?
[10:43] Hakari
    You even put yourself
    in harm's way to save me earlier.
[10:47] Nano
    Should anything happen to you,
    it would make Aijo Rentaro sad.
[10:50] Nano
    I wish to avoid that.
[10:53] Hakari
    Well, Rentaro-kun wouldn't want
    anything to happen to you, either!
[10:58] Nano
    You've been with him longer than me.
[11:02] Nano
    It is obvious that he would be
    more concerned for you.
[11:07] Brownhimbo
    What are you yakking on about?!
[11:09] Blondhimbo
    We can do this the easy way or the hard way!
[11:13] Nano
    I said I will...
[11:15] Hakari
    Neither of us are hanging out with you!
[11:19] Nano
    Hanazono Hakari, what are you doing?
[11:23] Hakari
    Yeah, it's clear
    you haven't been dating very long.
[11:26] Hakari
    Because you don't know
    Rentaro-kun well enough yet.
[11:32] Brownhimbo
    Oh, well, your choice.
[11:34] Brownhimbo
    Time to do this the hard way, then!
[11:36] Rentaro
    Stop!
[11:40] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun?!
[11:41] Nano
    Aijo Rentaro?
[11:43] Rentaro
    What do you think
    you're doing to my girlfriends?!
[11:46] Brownhimbo
    Th-This guy's hitting his lines
    while stuck in my iron claw!
[11:51] Brownhimbo
    Girlfriend or whatever, stay out of this!
[11:54] Brownhimbo
    That bitch blinded my bro!
[11:57] Hakari
    Th-That's because he tried to grab my arm!
[12:01] Rentaro
    Okay, we'll pay you back for what Nano did.
[12:05] Rentaro
    You can have all the fun you want with me!
[12:08] Brownhimbo
    Who said we wanted to have fun with a dude?!
[12:11] Brownhimbo
    Tch, whatever.
[12:13] Brownhimbo
    Which one is your girlfriend?
[12:15] Brownhimbo
    Take her and scram.
[12:17] Rentaro
    They're both my girlfriends!
[12:19] Brownhimbo
    You expect me to believe that?!
[12:21] Rentaro
    No, they really are both my girlfriends.
[12:25] Brownhimbo
    Yeah, right. Bullshit.
[12:28] Brownhimbo
    Then prove it by kissing 'em both.
[12:33] Brownhimbo
    Not a problem if they're both
    your girlfriends, right?
[12:36] Brownhimbo
    Caught him with his pants on fire.
[12:38] Brownhimbo
    He ain't gonna kiss some other chick 
    in front of his girlfriend.
[12:42] Rentaro
    Screw that! This isn't some show!
[12:44] Rentaro
    I could never force them to do something like—
[13:00] Nano
    Satisfied?
[13:01] Hakari
    We are both indisputably his girlfriends!
[13:06] Blondhimbo
    Bro! These guys are crazy!
[13:09] Brownhimbo
    D-Damn! I didn't know kids
    these days were so damn freaky!
[13:15] Purplehimbo
    What? What's going on?
[13:16] Purplehimbo
    I can't see a thing!
[13:18] Brownhimbo
    H-H-H-Hell nah!
    We want nothing to do with those hos!
[13:21] Brownhimbo
    We're outta here!
[13:22] Rentaro
    Hey, you take that back
    right now! I'll end you!
[13:25] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun!
[13:27] Hakari
    When did you wake up, Rentaro-kun?
[13:31] Nano
    And how did you find us?
[13:32] Rentaro
    Oh, about that...
[13:34] Karane
    Don't ditch me like that!
[13:38] Hakari
    Karane-san?
[13:44] (Flashback) Girls
    Taking a selfie! One, two...
[13:47] (Flashback) Girls
    Yeah!
[13:52] (Flashback) Karane
    Hakari and Eiai? And who are those guys?
[13:55] (Flashback) Karane
    What's going on? 
    What the heck is Rentaro doing?!
[14:00] (Flashback) Karane
    I think they headed to the whirlpool...
[14:04] (Flashback) Karane
    H-He's dead?!
[14:06] (Flashback) Karane
    Hey, what happened to you?
[14:09] (Flashback) Karane
    Rentaro!
[14:11] (Flashback) Karane
    Hey, Rentaro!
[14:12] (Flashback) Karane
    This is no time to be dead!
[14:15] (Flashback) Karane
    Hakari and Eiai are in trouble.
[14:17] (Flashback) Rentaro
    What?!
[14:19] (Flashback) Karane
    That startled me!
    Don't just come back to life like that!
[14:22] (Flashback) Rentaro
    Hakari and Nano are in trouble? Where?!
[14:25] (Flashback) Karane
    Huh? That...
SIGN    Zoom!!!
[14:27] (Flashback) Karane
    ...way.
[14:30] Rentaro
    So, yeah.
[14:31] Rentaro
    Karane helped me make it.
[14:35] Hakari
    My.
[14:36] Nano
    What an efficient resuscitation method.
[14:41] Rentaro
    Going for the eyes is amazing.
[14:42] Rentaro
    Thanks for protecting Hakari, Nano.
[14:46] Nano
    Well, I know...
[14:47] Nano
    how much Hanazono Hakari means to you.
[14:50] Rentaro
    But...
[14:52] Rentaro
    Don't put yourself at risk like that!
[14:54] Rentaro
    If anything happened to you,
[14:56] Rentaro
    I would never...
[14:59] (Flashback) Hakari
    Because you don't know
    Rentaro-kun well enough yet.
[15:04] Nano
    Okay.
[15:05] Nano
    I'm sorry, and thank you.
[15:10] Karane
    Huh?
[15:10] Karane
    Where's Shizuka, by the way?
[15:12] Hakari
    Oh, I haven't seen her
    since we left the whirlpool.
[15:16] Rentaro
    What? You mean she could still be
    whirling around in that pool?!
[15:21] Karane
    Yeah, well, it's a whirlpool. That's normal.
[15:24] Rentaro
    But Shizuka-chan can't swim!
[15:27] Rentaro
    Sh-She has her floaty ring, but what if...
SIGN    Zoom!!!
[15:31] Rentaro
    Where are you, Shizuka-chan?!
[15:34] Shizuka
    "Pray help."
[15:45] Shizuka
    "Pray..."
[15:56] Rentaro
    Shizuka-chan!
[16:00] Rentaro
    Shizuka-chan!
[16:03] Rentaro
    Shizuka-chan, where are you?!
[16:07] Rentaro
    I don't see her in this pool.
    Did she move to another one?
[16:13] Shizuka
    I have to cry out with my own voice.
[16:17] Shizuka
    But...
[16:19] Shizuka
    My voice is too quiet and hard to pick out.
[16:23] Shizuka
    He would never hear it in here.
[16:26] Rentaro
    Shizuka-chan! Shizuka-chan!
[16:36] Shizuka
    H... H... H...
[16:40] Shizuka
    Hey!
[16:43] Rentaro
    Shizuka-chan!
[16:49] Rentaro
    Oh, I'm so glad you're okay.
[16:53] Rentaro
    Sorry for leaving you alone.
[16:56] Rentaro
    It's all right now. Come here.
[17:29] Rentaro
    Sh... Shizuka-chan?
[17:32] Rentaro
    W-We're in public! How daring!
SIGN    Blush...
[17:41] Hakari
    Oh, great, you found her!
[17:45] Nano
    Are you okay?
    You've been running all over the place.
[17:48] Rentaro
    Oh, yeah, you're right.
[17:52] Rentaro
    Okay, I'll take a break, then.
[17:55] Rentaro
    You guys carry on.
[17:56] Rentaro
    Are you coming, Karane?
[17:58] Rentaro
    You're still cold, right?
[18:00] Karane
    Huh?
[18:01] Karane
    Y-Yeah... Okay.
[18:08] Rentaro
    I noticed when we were all talking.
[18:11] Rentaro
    Karane...
[18:13] Rentaro
    You kept glancing at Hakari and Nano's chests.
[18:18] Karane
    Wh-Wha?! I-It's not like I was...
[18:22] Rentaro
    Once you compared yourself
    to them in the changing room,
[18:24] Rentaro
    you didn't feel confident about
    showing off your swimsuit? Is that it?
[18:29] Karane
    I...
[18:30] Karane
    I'm telling you, that's not it!
[18:32] Karane
    I really am cold!
[18:34] Rentaro
    Then why did you order a melon soda float?
[18:37] Karane
    Ack!
SIGN    Ack
[18:39] Rentaro
    Yeah, they're both very sexy.
[18:41] Rentaro
    But they're exceptional for our age.
[18:45] Rentaro
    You get it, right?
[18:47] Rentaro
    You and Shizuka-chan
    are normal for high school girls.
[18:51] Rentaro
    It's not something to get hung up over.
[18:53] Karane
    Shizuka's different!
[18:55] Karane
    She's tiny and cute.
[18:58] Karane
    Not like me.
[19:00] Karane
    I'm tall, and I'm totally
    not the cute, dainty type.
[19:04] Karane
    But I'm not hot or sexy, either.
[19:09] Rentaro
    Sheesh!
[19:10] Rentaro
    On your feet, Karane!
[19:11] Karane
    Yes!
[19:12] Karane
    Huh? Wh-What?
[19:16] Karane
    Hey, wait!
SIGN    Grab
SIGN    Fwip!!
[19:23] Karane
    Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-Wha...
[19:26] Karane
    What are you doing, you sick perv?!
[19:30] Karane
    And what's with the immovable stone face?!
[19:34] Rentaro
    Wh...
[19:34] Rentaro
    What the heck? That looks great on you.
[19:38] Rentaro
    You're super cute.
[19:40] Karane
    Huh? Wh-What are you saying?
[19:43] Rentaro
    Wait, hear me out!
[19:45] Rentaro
    What I'm trying to say is...
[19:50] Karane
    Wh... Wha...
[19:52] Rentaro
    Can you tell how fast
    my heart is beating right now?
[19:56] Rentaro
    I can feel your heart racing, by the way.
[20:00] Karane
    Y-Your heart's beating faster.
[20:06] Rentaro
    Right?
[20:07] Rentaro
    Your heart and mine
    are pressed against each other.
[20:11] Rentaro
    So close, we can feel each other's rhythms.
[20:13] Rentaro
    I can only get so close with you, Karane.
[20:18] Rentaro
    It's not about who's better or worse.
[20:20] Rentaro
    You're all uniquely wonderful.
[20:23] Rentaro
    If anything,
[20:25] Rentaro
    I believe you couldn't possibly be
    more attractive than you already are.
[20:32] Rentaro
    So... Still feeling that chill?
[20:36] Karane
    Nah.
[20:39] Rentaro
    Shall we go join the others?
[21:01] Karane
    I love Rentaro...
[21:01] Rentaro
    Cute.
[21:03] Rentaro
    Karane cute!
[21:04] Karane
    I love him so, so, so much!
[21:04] Rentaro
    Cute, cute, cute!
[21:07] Rentaro
    I love her! I love Karane so, so much!
[21:07] Karane
    I love him more than anything!
[21:09] Karane
    I love Rentaro!
[21:11] Karane
    I love Rentaro so much!
[21:14] Rentaro
    We're back.
[21:17] Nano
    Inda Karane. Have you warmed up now?
[21:20] Karane
    I-I guess.
[21:22] Hakari
    Wow, what an adorable swimsuit!
[21:25] Karane
    Huh? I-It's not...
[21:27] Hakari
    Oh?
[21:28] Hakari
    No need to be so shy.
[21:30] Hakari
    Let me get a better look.
[21:34] Rentaro
    All right. Now that we're all here...
[21:38] Rentaro
    Let's get this pool date started for real!
[21:41] All
    Yeah!

E7 - Saying Hello to the Chemistry Girl
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Karane
    Get a move on, Rentaro!
[00:03] Hakari
    Today's the day we score those five
    limited "Passionate Pair's Pancakes"!
[00:08] Shizuka
    "We, the Four Great Lords, 
    needed to occupy these four lands."
[00:12] Rentaro
    Wait, will I have to eat four portions?!
[00:15] Karane
    Well, duh!
SIGN    Krrrack!!
SIGN    Chemistry
    Lab
[00:27] Nano
    Blending Rentaro's portions into a drink
    will achieve maximum efficiency.
[00:31] Karane
    Talk about the least grammable image ever!
[00:33] Hakari
    Let's go!
SIGN    The 100 Girlfriends
    Who Really, Really, Really, Really, REALLY Love You
SIGN    Crossing
SIGN    Reminiscing Lunch
SIGN    B-Come Tast-E
SIGN    I went all-out making lunch this morning <3
SIGN    To Rentaro-kun
    You might think this is all a bit overblown,
    but I'm writing this letter to express how thankful I am for all you do.
    Rentaro-kun, thank you so much for always bringing joy into my life.
    I've put all my feelings of gratitude into making lunch for you.
    Would you eat with me, if you don't mind?
    I'll be waiting on the rooftop during lunch break <3
    -Hakari
    P.S. I believe my figure has become
    more shapely these days.
    I'm including a photograph
    I took recently along with this letter.
    Enjoy <3
SIGN    To Rentaro!
    You'd better come to the rooftop during lunch break!
    Promise me you will!!
    Don't ask why! Just do it!
    I made too many side dishes, is all!
    (Though part of it was me hoping you would eat them...)
    So don't get the wrong idea! I'm just repaying you here!
    We gotta eat lunch together!!!!
    - Inda Karane
SIGN    To Rentaro-kun
    It feels a little strange writing to you
    when we see each other all the time.
    But I'm much better at expressing
    my feelings through writing, so I figured I should
    tell you how I constantly feel about you this way.
    Thank you truly for always looking out for me
    and respecting my feelings.
    I will treasure the days I spend with you for life.
    Rentaro-kun, do you happen to have time
    during lunch break today? If you do,
    then I would love to have lunch with you.
    -Yoshimoto Shizuka
SIGN    When a > 0 and b > 0,
    the Rentaro a/b + b/a >= 2 Nano inequation becomes
    a/b > 0 and b/a > 0.
    With the addition of "Gratitude" and the arithmetic mean of "Lunch,"
    we get Rentaro = a/b + b/a >= Lunch 2√(a/b x b/a)
    = 2x Happiness
    = Nano
    Lunch a² + Lunch b² >= 2ab
    (a-b)² = If you eat it, it no longer exists
    As such, when a = b, lunch will be proven.
SIGN    Rentaro, thanks for everything, aye.
    It looks like today will be a beautiful day,
    so I wanna eat lunch with you, aye!
    It'll be delicious for sure, aye!
    Note: Heat this area up for a surprise!
SIGN    Hngh
SIGN    Chemistry Lab
[02:11] Rentaro
    Wonder if she's in.
[02:14] Rentaro
    That zing I felt yesterday... 
    She's a soulmate.
[02:20] Rentaro
    Um, excuse me.
[02:27] Kusuri
    Welcome to Chem Club!
[02:30] Rentaro
    Huh?
[02:31] Rentaro
    She's not here?
[02:34] Kusuri
    What is your name?
[02:36] Rentaro
    Oh, I'm Aijo Rentaro.
[02:38] Kusuri
    Rentaro? Good you're here.
[02:41] Kusuri
    I'm in the Chem Club.
    Name's Yakuzen Kusuri, aye?
[02:44] Rentaro
    "Aye"?
[02:45] Rentaro
    Never heard anyone say that in real life.
[02:48] Kusuri
    How about some tea for you, aye?
[02:51] Rentaro
    By beaker? Teaker!
[02:53] Rentaro
    Oh, don't mind me. I was only...
[02:56] Kusuri
    You're lucky!
[02:57] Kusuri
    Kusuri just finish developing fantastic drug!
[03:03] Rentaro
    Uh, I'm not here to join the club.
    I'm just looking for somebody.
[03:07] Kusuri
    Sip on that tea and wait, aye?
[03:09] Rentaro
    Again...
[03:11] Kusuri
    No peeking! Sit over there and wait!
[03:14] Rentaro
    O-Okay, she's not having it.
[03:20] Rentaro
    I guess I'll see what she has in store.
[03:24] Rentaro
    But I dunno...
[03:25] Rentaro
    If it's too advanced, I won't even 
    know what's special about it.
[03:30] Kusuri
    Ta-da!
[03:32] Kusuri
    Human Magnet Medicine!
[03:34] Rentaro
    Nobel Prize winners
    ain't got nothing on this!
[03:37] Kusuri
    You know how when you stick nail to magnet,
[03:40] Kusuri
    the nail become magnet for a while?
[03:44] Rentaro
    Oh, yeah...
[03:45] Kusuri
    Put simply, this a magnet in drink form.
SIGN    Iron
[03:48] Kusuri
    Drinking this take the iron
    in your blood, like that nail,
[03:51] Sign
    Magnet
[03:54] Kusuri
    and make it into magnet.
[03:56] Rentaro
    I... see?
[03:57] Kusuri
    Drink and find out!
SIGN    Fwip
[03:59] Rentaro
    I'm drinking this?!
[04:01] Kusuri
    Never feel the practical effects
    of drug until you try it.
[04:06] Kusuri
    Like...
[04:07] Kusuri
    Mth is a good example, aye?
[04:09] Rentaro
    You know what mth is like?!
[04:12] Kusuri
    Honestly interesting chemical. Want to try.
[04:16] Rentaro
    Not even once!
[04:18] Kusuri
    Anyway, drink up!
[04:25] Rentaro
    W-Wow.
[04:27] Rentaro
    My body really is acting like a magnet.
[04:30] Kusuri
    Heh-heh. This be the power
    of drug Kusuri invents!
[04:35] Kusuri
    Oh, warning, that drug cause
[04:38] Kusuri
    three day and night of unimaginable
    constipation, so be ready.
[04:42] Rentaro
    The heck did you make me drink?!
[04:44] Kusuri
    But wait, there's more.
[04:46] Kusuri
    When Kusuri drinks drug
    with opposite pole as yours...
[05:01] Kusuri
    Hee hee hee. Opposite attract.
[05:07] Rentaro
    Wh-What...
[05:09] Rentaro
    What is this adorable little angel?!
[05:13] Kusuri
    By the way...
[05:14] Kusuri
    Drink the same drug, and you stick
    upside-down and can't be shown on TV.
[05:20] Rentaro
    There was no need to share that information!
[05:22] Kusuri
    Hm? Huh?
[05:24] Kusuri
    Magnetism stronger
    than expected. Can't get away.
[05:28] Rentaro
    What?
[05:29] Kusuri
    Is fine. Effect wears off in ten minutes.
[05:33] Rentaro
    Oh, that's good.
[05:37] Kusuri
    Wait, was holding in pee forever.
[05:40] Rentaro
    Are you stupid?!
[05:41] Rentaro
    A-Are you gonna pee
    while you're stuck to me?!
[05:45] Kusuri
    Can't be bothered
    going to toilet during experiment.
[05:47] Kusuri
    But is fine.
[05:49] Kusuri
    Always wear diapers,
    so no problem going here and now.
[05:54] Rentaro
    I see nothing but problems!
[05:55] Kusuri
    Can't hold it in anymore.
[05:57] Kusuri
    Oh.
[05:59] Rentaro
    Stop it!
[06:01] Rentaro
    Something is awakening inside me!
[06:06] Kusuri
    Effect finally wore off.
[06:09] Kusuri
    See now, Rentaro? Chemistry is amazing.
[06:14] Kusuri
    Kusuri loves to make
    wonderful drug like this!
[06:18] Kusuri
    And there's more!
[06:20] Kusuri
    The Night-Vision Medicine.
[06:23] Kusuri
    The Ventriloquism Medicine.
[06:25] Kusuri
    What else...
[06:27] Kusuri
    Size-Up and Size-Down Medicine.
[06:29] Rentaro
    She really does love it.
[06:30] Kusuri
    Oh, and Gender Swap Medicine, too!
[06:33] Rentaro
    She's sparkling with joy in my eyes.
[06:37] Rentaro
    Wait, no!
[06:38] Rentaro
    I'm here to find the soulmate 
    I saw yesterday.
[06:42] Rentaro
    And... yet...
[06:45] Rentaro
    Why am I getting so worked up over her?
[06:50] Kusuri
    Rentaro, my boy...
[06:52] Kusuri
    You're bamboozled by Kusuri's cuteness, aye?
[06:56] Rentaro
    How'd you know?
[06:57] Kusuri
    Truth is, that tea you drank before...
[07:01] Kusuri
    was dosed with love potion!
[07:03] Rentaro
    What?!
[07:06] Kusuri
    You see, Kusuri...
[07:11] Kusuri
    fell for Rentaro at first sight!
[07:14] Kusuri
    Love you, Rentaro!
[07:15] Kusuri
    We should go out, aye?
[07:18] Rentaro
    Huh?
[07:19] Kusuri
    Heh. Rentaro can't refuse 
    after drinking love potion.
[07:24] Rentaro
    Bleurgh!
[07:25] Kusuri
    Bleurgh, you say?!
[07:28] Kusuri
    A girl professes her love,
    and you go "bleurgh"?!
[07:30] Kusuri
    Rude! Have you no tact?!
[07:34] Rentaro
    Says the girl who just took
    a leak while hugging me!
[07:39] Rentaro
    That's not it. I'm trying
    to throw up the love potion.
[07:44] Kusuri
    But why? He should be in love...
[07:47] Kusuri
    Got the mix wrong?
[07:49] Kusuri
    No, worse.
[07:52] Kusuri
    H-He hates the idea of going out 
    with Kusuri that much?
[08:01] Kusuri
    Love you so much, though!
[08:04] Kusuri
    Is Kusuri not your type? Damn it all!
[08:08] Kusuri
    Have drug that can fix that!
[08:09] Rentaro
    No!
[08:11] Rentaro
    I want to be myself, not drugged up,
[08:15] Rentaro
    when I accept your feelings!
[08:20] Rentaro
    Aba ba ba ba ba!
[08:21] Kusuri
    Aba ba ba ba ba?!
[08:23] Rentaro
    Aba ba ba ba ba!
[08:26] Kusuri
    His body rejects the drug!
[08:29] Kusuri
    Did Kusuri cause overdose 
    with intensity of feelings?
[08:31] Kusuri
    Make drug too strong?
[08:34] Kusuri
    Rentaro!
[08:36] Kusuri
    Neutralizer! Medicine-Reversing Medicine!
[08:38] Kusuri
    Drink this!
[08:42] Kusuri
    N-No...
[08:43] Kusuri
    Convulsion too strong. He can't take it.
[08:48] Kusuri
    No choice left.
[08:49] Kusuri
    Gotta force it in!
[09:07] Kusuri
    Phew, convulsion stopped.
[09:11] Kusuri
    But now, the love potion effect is gone...
[09:18] Rentaro
    Huh?
[09:21] Rentaro
    Then why are you still
     so mind-boggingly cute?
[09:26] Kusuri
    Huh?
[09:28] Rentaro
    Huh?
[09:34] Kusuri
    The drug's effect is gone, no doubt.
[09:37] Kusuri
    What if... Rentaro's body rejected drug
[09:40] Kusuri
    because he already liked Kusuri?
[09:42] Kusuri
    His heart was already full! Maximum love?
[09:47] Kusuri
    R-Rentaro!
[09:49] Rentaro
    Y-Yes?
[09:50] Kusuri
    Beg you! Go out with me!
[09:53] Rentaro
    Down on both knees?!
[09:55] Kusuri
    Love you too much! Super-duper love!
[09:57] Kusuri
    Somehow as much as drugs!
[09:59] Kusuri
    Will do whatever you want, so please!
[10:02] Rentaro
    Wait, wait, wait!
    Come on, raise your head, please...
[10:09] Rentaro
    Huh?
[10:10] Rentaro
    What?
[10:14] Rentaro
    What?!
[10:17] Rentaro
    Th-The girl from yesterday!
[10:21] Kusuri
    Ah, right.
[10:23] Kusuri
    Must've drank neutralizer
    when giving it to you by mouth.
[10:29] Rentaro
    And it neutralized what?
[10:32] Kusuri
    This is how Kusuri actually looks, aye aye.
[10:35] Kusuri
    A failed immortality drug made me small.
[10:40] Rentaro
    She was doing big-bad research!
[10:42] Kusuri
    Can only turn back for less than an hour.
[10:46] Kusuri
    Oh, by the way, I'm actually
    a third-year and president of Chem Club.
[10:52] Rentaro
    Huh? You're a senpai?!
[10:54] Kusuri
    Well, this form comes with
    poor vision and long hair.
[10:58] Kusuri
    Prefer to be small for experiments, aye aye.
[11:03] Rentaro
    So she's a senpai and really 
    the girl from yesterday...
[11:08] Rentaro
    And my soulmate?
[11:08] Kusuri
    Aye!
[11:09] Rentaro
    Which means...
[11:09] Kusuri
    Aye aye.
[11:11] Rentaro
    I would be deeply honored to go out with you!
[11:13] Kusuri
    UNNO Reverse?!
[11:15] Kusuri
    Yay! I'm so happy to hear it, aye aye.
[11:21] Rentaro
    She sticks close at this size, too?
[11:23] Rentaro
    Help!
[11:24] Kusuri
    Oh, need to change diapers.
[11:27] Rentaro
    Please don't mention diapers
    when you look like that!
[11:30] Rentaro
    And that's the whole story.
[11:33] Rentaro
    Could I have your permission to make
    Yakuzen Kusuri-san my newest girlfriend—
[11:38] Kusuri
    Heya!
[11:39] Kusuri
    Yakuzen Kusuri's the name!
    Good to know ya, aye!
[11:42] Nano
    Dating multiple partners at once
    to achieve optimal efficiency.
[11:45] Nano
    Genius.
[11:46] Rentaro
    It's not for efficiency or anything, okay?!
[11:49] Karane
    Okay, so tell us a bit more about yourself.
[11:53] Kusuri
    Sure! You see, Kusuri...
SIGN    Melt <3
[11:55] Sign
    Drool
[11:55] Kusuri
    really, really, really loves drugs, aye.
[11:58] Karane
    Are we sure she's okay?!
[12:01] Rentaro
    It's fine.
    She says she hasn't tried mth yet.
[12:03] Karane
    That's the least convincing "fine" ever!
[12:07] Rentaro
    By the way, she only looks
    like this because of a drug.
[12:09] Rentaro
    She's actually a third-year.
[12:12] Karane
    Girl needs rehab!
[12:14] Kusuri
    Brought drugs for everyone today.
[12:18] Kusuri
    For Karane, Bust-Biggening Medicine.
[12:21] Karane
    What's that supposed to mean?!
[12:22] Kusuri
    Huh? Don't want it?
[12:24] Kusuri
    I-In that case...
[12:26] Kusuri
    Un-Twistify Medicine!
[12:28] Karane
    Again, what does that mean?!
[12:29] Kusuri
    Femininification Medicine!
[12:32] Karane
    What the hell?!
[12:33] Karane
    Where'd you do your research on me?
    What's your source?
[12:36] Kusuri
    Rentaro told me.
[12:38] Karane
    You're the worst!
    Is that what you think of me?!
[12:42] Karane
    Rentaro, you dickhead! I hate you!
[12:44] Kusuri
    Wait, no! Rentaro was like,
    "Karane is slender and beautiful."
[12:49] Kusuri
    "Shy and cute," is what I heard.
[12:52] Karane
    Sorry... I didn't mean it...
[12:55] Karane
    I don't hate you or anything, okay?
[12:58] Karane
    Did it hurt?
[13:00] Rentaro
    Don't worry.
[13:01] Rentaro
    It actually felt good
    being in the Boston Karane.
[13:04] Kusuri
    A masochist, aye?
[13:05] Kusuri
    For Hakari, Hot Stuff Medicine.
[13:09] Hakari
    To make me more sexy?
[13:11] Hakari
    I-If I can seduce Rentaro-kun with this...
[13:25] Rentaro
    I can't hold back!
[13:27] Hakari
    Oh, dear!
[13:29] Hakari
    ...maybe we can get down and dirty.
[13:33] Hakari
    Down the hatch!
[13:34] Rentaro
    Hakari? You should be a bit more cautious...
[13:40] Kusuri
    Close call.
[13:42] Hakari
    Thank you...
[13:44] Hakari
    Huh? I feel all sweaty.
[13:48] Hakari
    What's happening? My clothes!
[13:52] Kusuri
    Drug that makes your sweat melt your clothes.
[13:55] Kusuri
    Nothing sexier than a birthday suit.
[13:57] Hakari
    What?!
[13:58] Hakari
    This is far too indecent!
[14:01] Rentaro
    Hakari!
[14:02] Rentaro
    Take my sweats!
[14:03] Rentaro
    I wore them for P.E.,
    but it's better than nothing!
[14:07] Hakari
    Th-Thank you very much!
SIGN    Sniff
    Sniff
SIGN    Sniff
    Sniff
[14:15] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun... Rentaro-kun's...
[14:17] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun-worn sweats!
[14:21] Hakari
    Won't my sweat melt this, too?
[14:24] Kusuri
    Drug only works once.
SIGN    Huff... Puff...
[14:29] Hakari
    Good job, Professor Kusuri!
SIGN    Sniff Sniff
[14:33] Hakari
    Sniff, sniff!
[14:35] Kusuri
    For the storybook lover Shizuka,
[14:37] Kusuri
    the BunBun Fantasy Medicine.
[14:41] Shizuka
    "I am most grateful."
[14:50] Rentaro
    Peak cuteness!
[14:53] Rentaro
    I am most grateful!
[14:55] Shizuka
    "I am unworthy of such praise."
[14:57] Rentaro
    This is amazing.
[14:59] Rentaro
    It's like a movie costume.
[15:02] Rentaro
    Huh? Sorry! You felt that?
[15:07] Shizuka
    "A gate to an unexplored realm."
[15:09] Shizuka
    "A novel sensation."
[15:11] Rentaro
    Oh, kinda like this?
SIGN    Rentaro did not
    quite get it
[15:16] Rentaro
    Then...
[15:18] Rentaro
    Tickle, tickle!
[15:19] Shizuka
    "B-Bossman!"
[15:22] Shizuka
    "This be the Shangri-La of our dreams?!"*
[15:28] Kusuri
    For the efficient Nano, Hair-Control Medicine.
[15:31] Kusuri
    Hair like extra arms she can freely use!
[15:35] Nano
    Increased efficiency. Not bad.
[15:39] Rentaro
    She drank it already. Not a second wasted.
[15:42] Nano
    Aijo Rentaro, there is dirt on your face.
[15:47] Rentaro
    That smelled nice!
[15:58] Nano
    I like it.
[16:00] Rentaro
    Me, too.
[16:01] Kusuri
    More where that came from, aye.
[16:03] Kusuri
    Each vial works ten minutes,
[16:07] Kusuri
    but the second one onward increases
    the risk of going bald, so careful.
[16:11] Rentaro
    A heavy price to pay!
[16:14] Nano
    Going bald would reduce time
    spent on maintenance.
[16:17] Rentaro
    Nano? A-Are you sure?
[16:19] Nano
    I mean, you would love me
    even when I'm bald, would you not?
[16:24] Rentaro
    Of course!
[16:25] Rentaro
    Whether you're bald, or fat,
[16:27] Rentaro
    or possessed by an alien,
    I'd still love you!
[16:31] Nano
    The last one would no longer be me.
[16:33] Rentaro
    But...
[16:35] Rentaro
    I love this beautiful hair of yours, too.
[16:44] Nano
    I have no need for this drug.
[16:46] Kusuri
    Aww, it's fun, though!
[16:50] Karane
    Well, I guess these drugs
    have got their uses.
[16:54] Kusuri
    Right? Drugs are the best, aye!
[16:57] Karane
    N-Not that I care,
[16:59] Karane
    but how would I have looked if I'd
    taken that "Bust-Biggening Medicine"?
[17:04] Kusuri
    Here's an illustration of effect.
[17:07] Karane
    Swole!
[17:08] Karane
    Those are pecs!
[17:10] Kusuri
    Making plenty more like these.
[17:12] Kusuri
    But maximum effort goes into the one for
    applying to the dream research team!
[17:18] Nano
    Research team?
[17:20] Kusuri
    It's Kusuri's dream, aye!
[17:22] Kusuri
    Want to join that research team
    and make all sort of amazing drugs!
[17:26] Shizuka
    "What a beautiful vision."
[17:31] Rentaro
    What's wrong, Kusuri-senpai?
[17:33] Kusuri
    Suddenly felt the urge to pee.
[17:36] Kusuri
    Oh, well. Wearing diaper, after all.
[17:39] Rentaro
    Use the restroom!
[17:42] Kusuri
    Boo.
[17:43] Rentaro
    Right back at you!
[17:45] Hakari
    Oh, I'll pour the tea, then.
[17:49] Kusuri
    Tea's different for Rentaro
    and the rest, so be careful, aye?
[17:54] Rentaro
    What do you mean, for me?
[17:58] Kusuri
    W-Well, different blend for boys and girls.
[18:04] Rentaro
    Whatever! Go to the restroom!
[18:07] Kusuri
    A-Anyway...
[18:08] Kusuri
    Look at bottles, and it's obvious!
[18:12] Hakari
    Er...
[18:14] Hakari
    There's a big one and a small one, so...
SIGN    For five
[18:16] Sign
    For one
[18:17] Hakari
    I think?
[18:22] Kusuri
    Back.
[18:24] Rentaro
    Okay, now that everyone's here,
[18:26] Rentaro
    let's eat!
[18:26] Others
    Let's eat!
[18:26] Kusuri
    Let's eat, aye.
[18:30] Karane
    These cookies aren't bad.
[18:32] Shizuka
    "A sweet seduction."
[18:33] Nano
    Store-bought. Efficient.
[18:36] Hakari
    Is that praise?
[18:38] Nano
    It is.
[18:41] Kusuri
    Yak, yak, I did it!
[18:43] Kusuri
    Huh?
[18:43] Kusuri
    O-Oh no!
[18:46] Kusuri
    This tea is for Rentaro!
[18:48] Kusuri
    Why?
[18:49] Kusuri
    Made sure to split the bottles 
    for boys and girls!
SIGN    Brutalist
SIGN    For Boys
SIGN    Chic
SIGN    For Girls
[18:54] Kusuri
    Everyone! Wrong tea!
[18:57] Kusuri
    Spit it out!
[18:59] Kusuri
    Hurry! Hurry up and bleurgh!
[19:02] Rentaro
    Come on, they're just different flavors.
[19:06] Kusuri
    Th-That's not it!
[19:07] Kusuri
    That tea...
[19:08] Kusuri
    had the
    Uncontrollable-Urge-to-Kiss-Lover Medicine
[19:13] Kusuri
    planned to give to Rentaro
    to get me smoochies!
[19:17] Rentaro
    What?!
[19:18] Kusuri
    Not like back then...
[19:21] Kusuri
    Wanted to kiss you for real!
[19:25] Rentaro
    Wh-What...
[19:28] Rentaro
    I don't need some drug
    to make me want to kiss you!
[19:34] Kusuri
    Rentaro!
[19:37] Kusuri
    Mwah...
[19:41] Rentaro
    Uh, Karane?
[19:44] Rentaro
    Her heartburn can cause death by fire!
[19:47] Rentaro
    Kusuri-senpa—
[19:48] Hakari
    Kiss...
[19:51] Nano
    Kiss.
[19:52] Rentaro
    G-Girls?
[20:00] Rentaro
    Kusuri-senpai!
[20:01] Karane
    Kiss.
[20:04] Rentaro
    What's gotten into you all?
[20:06] Kusuri
    Owie...
[20:10] Kusuri
    Gone and done it again...
[20:20] Kusuri
    Keep messing up!
[20:26] Kusuri
    Run, Rentaro!
[20:31] Kusuri
    That's the drug's side effect.
[20:34] Rentaro
    Wait,
[20:35] Rentaro
    you wanted me to turn into that?
[20:37] Kusuri
    No, drug's not safe for girls!
[20:42] Kusuri
    Male libido makes boys
    want to get physical, bump uglies.
[20:48] Kusuri
    But female libido seeks intimacy,
    emotional pleasure—
[20:51] Kusuri
    that is kissing!
[20:53] Rentaro
    R-Really?
[20:55] Kusuri
    So...
[20:56] Kusuri
    Not meant to increase the urge
    for kisses even more.
[21:01] Kusuri
    Nothing but the desire to kiss
    remains in these four.
[21:05] Kusuri
    Their brain don't limit them,
    giving superhuman strength!
[21:11] Kusuri
    Unable to think about anything but
    kissing the person they love most,
[21:15] Kusuri
    they wander in search for his lips...
[21:17] Kusuri
    They are kiss zombies!
[21:20] Shizuka
    "Kissy."
[21:21] Hakari
    Kissy.
[21:21] Karane
    Kissy.
[21:22] Nano
    Kissy.
[21:23] Kusuri
    No escape from their powerful
    arms if they catch you.
[21:28] Kusuri
    You'll be stuck
    being kissed with them forever!
[21:31] Rentaro
    What?
[21:34] Rentaro
    That...
[21:35] Rentaro
    just sounds like paradise!
[21:38] All
    Kiss.
[21:39] Kusuri
    By the way, if not given the Medicine-Reversing
    Medicine before the drug circulates,
[21:44] Kusuri
    they stay like this the rest of their lives.
[21:46] Rentaro
    Their personality gets erased?!
[21:49] Rentaro
    How long until the drug circulates
    throughout their bodies?
[21:52] Kusuri
    Depends on person, but around an hour!
[21:57] Rentaro
    We need to give them
    the Reversing Medicine before then...
[22:00] Hakari/Karane
    Kissy kiss!
[22:01] Nano/Shizuka
    Kiss!
[22:02] Narrator
    And so began Rentaro and the girls'
    game of Resident Hazard: Kissage!

E8 - Kiss Zombie Panic
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:03] (Flashback) Kusuri
    Welcome to Chem Club!
[00:05] Narrator
    Aijo Rentaro's newest soulmate:
[00:10] Narrator
    the shrinking and growing,
[00:14] Narrator
    drug-loving president of Chem Club,
[00:17] Narrator
    Yakuzen Kusuri.
[00:19] Narrator
    However, the drug that
    she concocted for Rentaro,
[00:24] Narrator
    the Uncontrollable-Urge-to-Kiss-Lover Medicine,
[00:28] Narrator
    was accidentally consumed by Hakari,
    Karane, Shizuka and Nano...
[00:37] (Flashback) Hakari
    Kiss.
[00:39] (Flashback) Shizuka
    "Kiss."
[00:41] Narrator
    ...turning them into kiss zombies.
[00:45] (Flashback) Kusuri
    By the way, if not given the Medicine-Reversing
    Medicine before the drug circulates,
[00:51] (Flashback) Kusuri
    they stay like this the rest of their lives.
[00:52] (Flashback) Rentaro
    Their personality gets erased?!
[00:54] (Flashback) Hakari/Karane
    Kissy kiss!
[00:55] (Flashback) Nano/Shizuka
    Kiss!
[00:58] Narrator
    And so began Rentaro and the girls'
    game of Resident Hazard: Kissage!
[01:06] Kusuri
    Run, Rentaro!
[01:07] Zombies
    Kissy...
[01:08] Rentaro
    But...
[01:09] Kusuri
    Hurry up!
[01:16] Zombies
    Kissy... kiss...
[01:18] Kusuri
    Can't make four doses of neutralizer here.
[01:22] Kusuri
    Gotta get away from the four
    kiss zombies and head to the chem lab!
[01:27] Rentaro
    Gotcha.
[01:29] Kusuri
    Hurry!
[01:30] Rentaro
    Girls...
[01:32] Rentaro
    I promise we'll bring you back!
[01:34] Zombies
    Kissy...
[01:38] Hakari
    Kiss.
SIGN    The 100 Girlfriends
    Who Really, Really, Really, Really, REALLY Love You
SIGN    Crossing
SIGN    Reminiscing Lunch
SIGN    B-Come Tast-E
SIGN    I went all-out making lunch this morning <3
SIGN    To Rentaro-kun
    You might think this is all a bit overblown,
    but I'm writing this letter to express how thankful I am for all you do.
    Rentaro-kun, thank you so much for always bringing joy into my life.
    I've put all my feelings of gratitude into making lunch for you.
    Would you eat with me, if you don't mind?
    I'll be waiting on the rooftop during lunch break <3
    -Hakari
    P.S. I believe my figure has become
    more shapely these days.
    I'm including a photograph
    I took recently along with this letter.
    Enjoy <3
SIGN    To Rentaro!
    You'd better come to the rooftop during lunch break!
    Promise me you will!!
    Don't ask why! Just do it!
    I made too many side dishes, is all!
    (Though part of it was me hoping you would eat them...)
    So don't get the wrong idea! I'm just repaying you here!
    We gotta eat lunch together!!!!
    - Inda Karane
SIGN    To Rentaro-kun
    It feels a little strange writing to you
    when we see each other all the time.
    But I'm much better at expressing
    my feelings through writing, so I figured I should
    tell you how I constantly feel about you this way.
    Thank you truly for always looking out for me
    and respecting my feelings.
    I will treasure the days I spend with you for life.
    Rentaro-kun, do you happen to have time
    during lunch break today? If you do,
    then I would love to have lunch with you.
    -Yoshimoto Shizuka
SIGN    When a > 0 and b > 0,
    the Rentaro a/b + b/a >= 2 Nano inequation becomes
    a/b > 0 and b/a > 0.
    With the addition of "Gratitude" and the arithmetic mean of "Lunch,"
    we get Rentaro = a/b + b/a >= Lunch 2√(a/b x b/a)
    = 2x Happiness
    = Nano
    Lunch a² + Lunch b² >= 2ab
    (a-b)² = If you eat it, it no longer exists
    As such, when a = b, lunch will be proven.
SIGN    Rentaro, thanks for everything, aye.
    It looks like today will be a beautiful day,
    so I wanna eat lunch with you, aye!
    It'll be delicious for sure, aye!
    Note: Heat this area up for a surprise!
SIGN    Hngh
[03:22] Rentaro
    Now's our chance to get to the chem lab.
[03:27] Kusuri
    They headed us off.
[03:29] Kusuri
    Anything to slow them down?
[03:32] Kusuri
    Oh, this is...
[03:35] Kusuri
    The Melt-Ya-Face-Off Medicine!
[03:38] Rentaro
    You are not using that!
[03:41] Rentaro
    Let's take a detour!
[03:43] Kusuri
    Aye, got it!
[03:47] Zombies
    Kissy...
[03:56] Rentaro
    They're fast.
[03:57] Rentaro
    Must be part of the superhuman abilities 
    they gained due to their loss of reason.
[04:00] Viceprincipal
    Running in my halls?!
[04:03] Rentaro
    Vice Principal?!
[04:05] Viceprincipal
    Pardon my French!
[04:07] Kusuri
    Gah! Monster!
[04:14] Rentaro
    Vice Principal!
[04:15] Kusuri
    I apologize, aye.
[04:17] Viceprincipal
    The foundation I spent three hours applying...!
[04:22] Viceprincipal
    It's melting!
[04:23] Rentaro
    The abyss stares back!
[04:25] Viceprincipal
    My true form will be revealed to the humans!
[04:30] Rentaro
    I don't think it's working.
[04:32] Kusuri
    Kusuri's drug was stopped by some foundation?
[04:35] Kusuri
    No way!
[04:36] Rentaro
    That's what's bothering you?!
[04:38] Viceprincipal
    Scree! I must restore my makeup!
[04:39] Rentaro
    Science can't beat monsters.
    That's how the world works.
[04:42] Rentaro
    Let's go.
[04:43] Kusuri
    The acids... the psience!
[04:46] Viceprincipal
    Coming through.
[04:48] Nano
    Kiss kissy kiss kiss. Kissy kiss.
[04:50] Others
    Kisser.
[04:55] Rentaro
    They split up?
[04:56] Rentaro
    So they're planning to pincer us?
[05:01] Rentaro
    Wait, the girls are trying to kiss me, right?
[05:06] Rentaro
    Kusuri-senpai, let's split up, too.
[05:10] Kusuri
    Gotcha.
[05:16] Shizuka
    "Kiss. Kiss."
[05:18] Rentaro
    I knew it. She's coming after me.
[05:20] Rentaro
    Shizuka-chan isn't as fast as the others.
[05:24] Rentaro
    Her limiter may be off, but it's all still 
    based on her original physical abilities.
[05:28] Rentaro
    I'll get away from her before 
    the other three can surround me.
[05:32] Shizuka
    "Kiss."
[05:34] Rentaro
    Shizuka-chan!
[05:37] Rentaro
    Oh, no! Your forehead's all red!
    You need to get to the nurse's office now!
[05:41] Shizuka
    "Kiss."
[05:43] Rentaro
    It's okay. You'll be all right.
[05:52] Rentaro
    Okay, time to get you treated.
SIGN    Away On Research Leave
[05:56] Rentaro
    On leave?!
[05:57] Rentaro
    Screw that! This is an emergency!
[06:06] Rentaro
    Thanks for holding up your bangs.
[06:08] Rentaro
    We cooled it and applied a pain-relief patch.
    You'll be fine now.
[06:11] Rentaro
    Pain, pain, go away.
[06:14] Shizuka
    "Kiss."
[06:24] Rentaro
    Oh, right! I forget we were
    in the middle of Resident Hazard!
[06:28] Rentaro
    I messed up!
[06:31] Rentaro
    Sh-Shizuka...
[06:33] Shizuka
    "Kiss."
[06:43] Rentaro
    I-It keeps going.
[06:47] Rentaro
    Sh-Shiz...
[07:06] Rentaro
    I-It's over.
[07:09] Rentaro
    I can't even think straight...
[07:16] Rentaro
    No! I have to get you back to normal!
[07:30] Rentaro
    Sorry, Shizuka-chan.
[07:32] Rentaro
    I'll fix this somehow, I promise.
[07:36] Rentaro
    So hang in there!
[07:42] Shizuka
    "Kiss."
[07:44] Shizuka
    "Kiss."
[07:50] Karane
    Kiss!
[07:50] Hakari
    Kissy-kun!
[07:53] Rentaro
    Gotta change course.
[07:56] Hakari
    Kissy-san!
[07:57] Karane
    Kissy, kiss it!
[07:59] Hakari
    Kiss!
[08:00] Karane
    Kiss!
[08:04] Hakari
    Kissy...
[08:07] Karane
    ...kiss kiss!
[08:09] Rentaro
    Kara-pult...
SIGN    Kara-pult
    & Hurl-kari
[08:10] Hakari
    Kiss!
[08:11] Rentaro
    ...Hurl-kari!
[08:15] Rentaro
    Agh! We're not in an All Japan
    Pro Wrestling Tag League, you know?!
[08:22] Rentaro
    Hakari... Karane...
[08:26] Hakari
    Kiss.
[08:32] Karane
    Kiss.
[08:35] Hakari
    Kiss...
[08:37] Karane
    Kiss...
[08:39] Hakari
    Kiss...
[08:41] Karane
    Kiss...
[08:42] Rentaro
    No... My mind's going blank again...
[08:47] Rentaro
    Unlike Shizuka-chan,
[08:49] Rentaro
    they're too strong to push away...
[08:52] Hakari
    Kissey!
[08:53] Karane
    Kiss's kiss kissem?
[08:56] Hakari
    Kiss kisses kiss kiss kissy!
[08:58] Karane
    Kiss kissy kiss kiss, kisser!
[09:00] Rentaro
    Jeez, they're fighting again.
[09:03] Rentaro
    Even as kiss zombies, they're the same as ever.
[09:09] Rentaro
    Even as kiss zombies?
[09:11] Rentaro
    These two are the same?
[09:15] Rentaro
    That means...
[09:16] Hakari
    Kissy kiss!
[09:18] Karane
    Kiss kiss, kiss!
[09:19] Hakarikarane
    Kissy...
[09:33] Hakari
    Kissy kiss...
[09:36] Karane
    Kissy kiss kiss.
[09:40] Hakarikarane
    Kiss.
[09:42] Rentaro
    Let's go!
[09:44] Rentaro
    That's right. The girls drank the 
    Uncontrollable-Urge-to-Kiss-Lover Medicine.
[09:51] Rentaro
    And the two of them are 
    so close, they fight every day...
[09:55] Rentaro
    They're tough lovers!
[09:58] Rentaro
    We did share a three-way kiss, after all!
[10:01] Rentaro
    I knew I could count on you two!
[10:04] Narrator
    Rentaro was not immune
    to jumping to conclusions.
[10:09] Rentaro
    L-Look at 'em kiss zombies go.
[10:12] Rentaro
    Things are heating up by the second.
[10:14] Rentaro
    Wait, this is no time to be staring!
    I gotta get to the chem lab!
SIGN    Chemistry Lab
[10:30] Rentaro
    Okay, I made it somehow.
[10:34] Rentaro
    Did Kusuri-senpai make it here o—
[10:36] Rentaro
    Kay?!
[10:38] Rentaro
    What's Nano doing in the lab?
[10:40] Rentaro
    This is bad!
[10:42] Rentaro
    I can't get away!
[10:46] Nano
    Kiss kiss!
[10:51] Nano
    Kiss...
[10:56] Rentaro
    I managed to hide,
[10:58] Rentaro
    but it's only a matter of time 
    before she finds me.
[11:01] Rentaro
    But there's still hope!
[11:04] Rentaro
    We've split up.
[11:06] Rentaro
    If Kusuri-senpai takes this chance 
    to sneak into the lab...
[11:10] Kusuri
    Whew! Couldn't breathe!
[11:13] Rentaro
    Kusuri-senpai!
[11:16] Narrator
    All hope was lost.
[11:22] Rentaro
    Kusuri-senpai!
[11:23] Rentaro
    Wh-What are you doing here?
[11:26] Kusuri
    Tried to enter chem lab, but Nano spotted me,
[11:29] Kusuri
    so Kusuri hide here!
[11:31] Kusuri
    Now she going around
    looking for Kusuri. Can't get out.
[11:37] Rentaro
    But why?
[11:39] Rentaro
    Nano should be looking for me,
    the person she wants to kiss.
[11:42] Kusuri
    Maybe Nano realized we
     on the same team.
[11:48] Rentaro
    Right. She was the one who gave 
    the order to flank us, too.
[11:52] Rentaro
    Being a kiss zombie hasn't completely 
    taken away her intelligence.
[11:58] Rentaro
    Damn it! At this rate, 
    she'll find and capture us both!
[12:02] Kusuri
    Eureka.
[12:04] Kusuri
    Rentaro run and lure Nano away.
[12:07] Kusuri
    Kusuri take that chance to sneak into chem lab.
[12:11] Rentaro
    I thought about that, too...
[12:13] Rentaro
    But making a break for it after hiding
    would look too suspicious.
[12:18] Rentaro
    It would be obvious that I ran out
    expecting to be caught.
[12:21] Rentaro
    And she'd realize that I was
    a decoy to lure her away.
[12:26] Rentaro
    That would be the same
    as telling her that you're in here.
[12:32] Rentaro
    Damn it!
[12:34] Rentaro
    What do I do? What can I do?
[12:36] Rentaro
    If we don't act quick, 
    it'll be too late to reverse the drug!
[12:39] Rentaro
    I gotta do something to save them, 
    no matter what!
[12:45] Kusuri
    It always be like this...
[12:49] Kusuri
    Kusuri always be like this.
[12:52] Kusuri
    Think of nothing but drugs,
    make trouble for everyone else.
[12:59] Kusuri
    Already lost all the Chem Club
    members, and yet...
[13:08] Rentaro
    Senpai...
[13:09] Kusuri
    The others are one thing, but...
[13:12] Kusuri
    But Kusuri loves you! Don't want to be
    hated by you or cause trouble for you!
[13:20] Kusuri
    Enough is enough. Kusuri will...
[13:23] Kusuri
    stop developing drugs forever!
[13:27] Rentaro
    Senpai...
[13:28] Kusuri
    So, so sorry, Rentaro!
[13:33] Kusuri
    Rentaro, this game of Resident Hazard is over.
[13:38] Kusuri
    Is fine. In case of emergency,
    Kusuri always have
[13:43] Kusuri
    a single dose of the reversing medicine!
[13:46] Rentaro
    I see!
[13:47] Rentaro
    At first, we needed four doses 
    of the reversing medicine.
[13:52] Rentaro
    But now, one dose is enough to turn Nano 
    back to normal and get into the lab!
[13:52] Nano
    Kiss.
SIGN    A wild Kiss Zombie Nano appeared!
SIGN    Nano went back to normal!
[13:58] Rentaro
    You're a genius, Kusuri-senpai!
[14:00] Kusuri
    Indeed, aye!
[14:02] Rentaro
    But why?!
[14:03] Rentaro
    Wait, wait! Stop, Senpai!
[14:06] Kusuri
    Huh?
[14:07] Kusuri
    Argh! Wh-What are you doing?!
[14:10] Rentaro
    That's what I wanna know!
[14:12] Rentaro
    Wasn't that dose for Nano?!
[14:14] Kusuri
    Ah! Good idea!
[14:16] Rentaro
    More like the only idea!
[14:19] Kusuri
    Well, Kusuri...
[14:22] Kusuri
    thought it'd be easy to enter the lab in this
    form because Nano doesn't know about it.
[14:28] Kusuri
    Why the red face, Rentaro? Is there a problem?
[14:32] Rentaro
    I-I mean...
[14:35] Rentaro
    We're all up-close and personal...
[14:39] Kusuri
    However, only got a mouthful
    of reversing medicine.
[14:43] Kusuri
    Effect will wear off soon.
[14:45] Kusuri
    If Kusuri turns back into a kid
    while making more, Nano might find...
[14:52] Kusuri
    Could tie Nano up and immobilize her.
[14:55] Rentaro
    C-Can you really do that?
[14:58] Kusuri
    Possible if I surprise her in this form.
[15:02] Kusuri
    Gotta act fast before the drug wears off.
[15:10] Nano
    Kiss!
[15:16] Nano
    Kissingless.
[15:17] Rentaro
    All right. She's not interested.
[15:20] Rentaro
    She might actually be able to pull it off.
[15:23] Nano
    Kissy kiss?
[15:25] Nano
    Kiss...
[15:28] Kusuri
    Uh...
[15:29] Kusuri
    Kusuri just a passerby, aye aye.
[15:32] Rentaro
    You just gave it away!
[15:34] Kusuri
    Bud ow id she kno?!
[15:37] Rentaro
    Damn it!
[15:39] Rentaro
    Is this it?
[15:41] Rentaro
    With Senpai captured, we have no way 
    of making the reversing medicine!
[15:45] Rentaro
    What do I do?
[15:46] Rentaro
    What do I do?!
[15:53] Nano
    Kiss kiss.
[15:54] Kusuri
    Enawo?!
[15:56] Rentaro
    Don't get caught!
[15:57] Rentaro
    Run, run, run! For my life!
[16:01] Rentaro
    So what if she's a kiss zombie with 
    no reason or limiter holding her back?
[16:04] Rentaro
    I'll take off my limiters, too!
[16:07] Rentaro
    With my unending love for these girls!
[16:37] Rentaro
    She's breaking open the door?
[16:49] Nano
    Kissed kissu.
[16:52] Rentaro
    Nano!
[17:16] Nano
    Kiss.
[17:28] Nano
    Kiss.
SIGN    Fin.
[18:25] Kusuri
    Nano!
[18:35] Kusuri
    Now when she wakes up,
    she'll be back to normal, aye.
[18:39] Rentaro
    I'm so glad... you made it, Kusuri-senpai.
[18:44] Kusuri
    You planned this all out, Rentaro?
[18:48] Rentaro
    Uh, I wouldn't call it a plan.
[18:51] Rentaro
    That was all I could think of.
[18:55] Rentaro
    I lured Nano away from there,
[18:58] Rentaro
    ran around to buy time, and waited...
[19:02] Rentaro
    Waited for the mouthful of reversing
    medicine that you took to wear off.
[19:07] Rentaro
    Then your body would shrink and untie itself.
[19:10] Kusuri
    Oh, right!
    That's how Kusuri got outta there, aye?!
[19:13] Rentaro
    Wait, you hadn't realized?!
[19:15] Kusuri
    Uh, thought that maybe you'd used
    some kinda Melt-Ya-Ropes-Off Medicine.
[19:20] Rentaro
    Anyway, let's hurry up and give the other
    three the reversing medicine, too.
[19:26] Kusuri
    Yes, aye!
SIGN    Nurse's Office
[19:32] Hakari
    Where am I?
[19:35] Karane
    I-It's not like I was dozing off
    or anything, okay?!
[19:38] Nano
    What was I doing?
[19:40] Nano
    Why did I do that to Aijo Rentaro?
[19:43] Shizuka
    "My deepest apologies."
[19:45] Rentaro
    Girls!
[19:47] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun!
[19:48] Hakari
    I'm truly sorry!
[19:50] Hakari
    How could I do something so—
[19:54] (Flashback) Hakari/Karane
    Kiss.
[19:56] Hakari
    H-Huh?
[19:58] Hakari
    S-Sorry, but I can't remember anything!
[20:03] Hakari
    Right, Karane-san?!
[20:05] Hakari
    Y-You don't remember anything, either, right?
[20:07] Karane
    Wait, what?
[20:09] Karane
    Like Nano and Shizuka, I remember every—
[20:12] (Flashback) Hakarikarane
    Kiss.
[20:13] (Flashback) Kusuri
    Take the reversing medicine!
[20:15] (Flashback) Rentaro
    You two are way too into each other!
[20:19] Karane
    O-Oh!
[20:21] Karane
    Y-You're right. My memory's gone, too!
[20:25] Hakari
    Thought as much!
[20:28] Hakari
    Can't remember a thing!
[20:30] Karane
    Right! It's almost funny!
[20:31] Rentaro
    Good, good. Sharing a secret 
    has brought them even closer.
[20:36] Kusuri
    This was all Kusuri's fault!
[20:40] Kusuri
    So sorry, aye!
[20:42] Kusuri
    Kusuri's drug turned you all into zombies...
[20:49] Kusuri
    Sorry! Sorry!
[20:52] Kusuri
    So, so sorry!
[20:55] Karane
    Kusuri...
[20:56] Hakari
    Kusuri-senpai.
[20:57] Shizuka
    "Drug Master."
[20:59] Rentaro
    Yeah, your drug did turn them into zombies,
[21:03] Rentaro
    but it was also your drug
    that brought them back.
[21:07] Rentaro
    So it all evens out, right?
[21:11] Kusuri
    But... but...
[21:13] Rentaro
    I'll fix anything with you.
[21:16] Rentaro
    Whatever messes
    your drugs create in the future,
[21:21] Rentaro
    I'll fix them for you, no matter what!
[21:25] Kusuri
    Rentaro?
[21:27] Rentaro
    So stop talking about
    abandoning your drug research!
[21:33] Rentaro
    For me...
[21:34] Rentaro
    The passion you show for the things you love
[21:37] Rentaro
    is part of why I love you, Kusuri-senpai!
[21:42] Nano
    Lovely.
[21:43] Shizuka
    So dreamy.
[21:45] Karane
    He is such a Chad.
[21:48] Hakari
    I'm so wet right now.
[21:50] Kusuri
    Rentaro...
[21:52] Kusuri
    Kusuri... Kusuri...
[21:56] Kusuri
    really, really, really, really, 
    really loves drugs and you!

E9 - The Holy War of Love and Soul
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:33] Rentaro
    Wow, amazing!
SIGN    Lovezono Flower Park
[00:36] Rentaro
    So this is the Lovezono Flower Park!
[00:39] Nano
    A splendid facility for efficiently
    observing multiple species of plants.
[00:43] Kusuri
    Gonna collect nectar
    for new drug research, aye!
[00:47] Shizuka
    "A view reserved for the highest nobles."
[00:47] Kusuri
    Flower, flower, flower!
[00:50] Kusuri
    Nectar, nectar, nectar!
[00:54] Rentaro
    This is the greatest date spot.
[00:57] Rentaro
    Thanks for bringing us, Hakari.
[00:59] Hakari
    I'm glad to hear you like it.
[01:01] Hakari
    I wanted to come here with you, too.
[01:05] Hakari
    There's something I'd like us to do—
[01:08] Pa
    The monthly "Bouquet Toss" 
    event will begin shortly.
[01:12] Rentaro
    Bouquet toss?
[01:12] Pa
    Guests who'd like to participate, 
    please assemble in the central plaza.
[01:13] Hakari
    It's one of the biggest
    attractions in the park.
[01:16] Hakari
    Whoever catches the bouquet can wear a wedding
    dress adorned with the park's flowers
[01:20] Hakari
    and have a special photoshoot
    with their loved one.
SIGN    Lovezono Flower Park Main Event Bouquet Toss
[01:22] Rentaro
    What? We have to take part!
[01:25] Kusuri
    Whoa! Gotta do it!
[01:27] Karane
    Wedding dress photo... with Rentaro!
[01:30] Shizuka
    "Here is" "a vow of eternal love."
[01:32] Nano
    Efficient.
[01:34] Hakari
    That wedding dress has been 
    my dream since I was little.
[01:41] Hakari
    A scene, filled with love, 
    that I always wanted for myself.
[01:45] Hakari
    And today is the day 
    I make that dream come true!
SIGN    The 100 Girlfriends
    Who Really, Really, Really, Really, REALLY Love You
SIGN    Crossing
SIGN    Reminiscing Lunch
SIGN    B-Come Tast-E
SIGN    I went all-out making lunch this morning <3
SIGN    To Rentaro-kun
    You might think this is all a bit overblown,
    but I'm writing this letter to express how thankful I am for all you do.
    Rentaro-kun, thank you so much for always bringing joy into my life.
    I've put all my feelings of gratitude into making lunch for you.
    Would you eat with me, if you don't mind?
    I'll be waiting on the rooftop during lunch break <3
    -Hakari
    P.S. I believe my figure has become
    more shapely these days.
    I'm including a photograph
    I took recently along with this letter.
    Enjoy <3
SIGN    To Rentaro!
    You'd better come to the rooftop during lunch break!
    Promise me you will!!
    Don't ask why! Just do it!
    I made too many side dishes, is all!
    (Though part of it was me hoping you would eat them...)
    So don't get the wrong idea! I'm just repaying you here!
    We gotta eat lunch together!!!!
    - Inda Karane
SIGN    To Rentaro-kun
    It feels a little strange writing to you
    when we see each other all the time.
    But I'm much better at expressing
    my feelings through writing, so I figured I should
    tell you how I constantly feel about you this way.
    Thank you truly for always looking out for me
    and respecting my feelings.
    I will treasure the days I spend with you for life.
    Rentaro-kun, do you happen to have time
    during lunch break today? If you do,
    then I would love to have lunch with you.
    -Yoshimoto Shizuka
SIGN    When a > 0 and b > 0,
    the Rentaro a/b + b/a >= 2 Nano inequation becomes
    a/b > 0 and b/a > 0.
    With the addition of "Gratitude" and the arithmetic mean of "Lunch,"
    we get Rentaro = a/b + b/a >= Lunch 2√(a/b x b/a)
    = 2x Happiness
    = Nano
    Lunch a² + Lunch b² >= 2ab
    (a-b)² = If you eat it, it no longer exists
    As such, when a = b, lunch will be proven.
SIGN    Rentaro, thanks for everything, aye.
    It looks like today will be a beautiful day,
    so I wanna eat lunch with you, aye!
    It'll be delicious for sure, aye!
    Note: Heat this area up for a surprise!
SIGN    Hngh
SIGN    Lovezono Flower Park Main Event Bouquet Toss
[03:23] Rentaro
    W-Wow, that's a big crowd.
[03:26] Hakari
    It really is.
[03:27] Cpt Gorilla
    You louts!
[03:29] Cpt Gorilla
    Catch that bouquet at all costs
    and win the photoshoot for me and Yuu-kun!
[03:34] Sub Gorillas
    Yes, Captain!
[03:39] Rentaro
    What's up with them?
SIGN    Gorilla Syndicate
[03:41] Nano
    The Gorilla Syndicate,
[03:42] Nano
    a Japanese biker gang
    established in the early 21st century.
[03:46] Rentaro
    Thank you, Nanopedia.
[03:48] Hakari
    It seems we won't have the luxury
    of fighting among ourselves.
[03:53] Hakari
    Why don't we work together for now,
[03:54] Hakari
    and then draw lots to pick
    who gets the photoshoot later?
[03:58] Karane
    Sounds good.
[03:59] Nano
    Efficient.
[04:00] Shizuka
    "Just for today, okay?"
[04:00] Kusuri
    Okay?
SIGN    Go    Ri    Lla
[04:01] Sub Gorillas
    Go, go, Gorilla!
[04:05] Sub Gorillas
    Gorilla! Syndicate! Gorilla! Syndicate!
[04:09] Rentaro
    Man, they're super into it.
    And there are so many people.
SIGN    Gorilla Syndicate
[04:14] Rentaro
    Maybe Shizuka-chan should
    stay back and root for us?
[04:17] Karane
    Good call, with her height.
    We don't want her swallowed up by the crowd.
[04:21] Shizuka
    "As you wish."
[04:23] Rentaro
    As for Kusuri-senpai...
[04:24] Kusuri
    S'all good.
[04:30] Sub Gorillas
    Go, go, Gorilla!
[04:30] Kusuri
    Should be fine now, aye aye.
[04:32] Rentaro
    Yeah.
[04:33] Sub Gorillas
    Gorilla! Syndicate! Gorilla! Syndicate!
[04:34] Rentaro
    It'd be great to have a flag like theirs.
[04:38] Rentaro
    Oh, I know!
[04:40] Rentaro
    I've got a towel and a marker!
[04:42] Karane
    Why do you even have that stuff?
SIGN    Rentaro Family
SIGN    Rentaro Family
[04:48] Rentaro
    What do you think?
[04:50] Hakarikusuri
    Family!
[04:51] Nanoshizuka
    Family!
[04:51] Karane
    We're a...
[04:53] All
    ...family!
[04:53] Karane
    It's so good, hngh!
[04:56] Rentaro
    Rentaro Family!
[04:57] Rentaro
    Let's go get it!
[04:59] All
    Yeah!
SIGN    Lovezono Flower Park Main Event Bouquet Toss
SIGN    Go
SIGN    Rentaro Family
SIGN    Rentaro Family
[05:11] Sub Gorilla A
    What is this adorable creature?
[05:12] Sub Gorilla B
    Cute!
[05:13] Sub Gorillas
    I wanna take it home!
[05:16] Pa
    The bouquet toss is about to begin.
[05:18] Pa
    Naturally, physical attacks against
    other participants are banned.
[05:22] Pa
    And here we have today's guest,
    who will toss the bouquet:
[05:25] Pa
    former international shot putter,
[05:28] Pa
    the Supersonic Arm,
[05:30] Pa
    Baba An!
[05:32] Baba
    Hi!
[05:34] Rentaro
    The vice principal?!
[05:36] Rentaro
    I knew she was an ex-athlete,
    but her sport was shot put?
[05:38] Karane
    Every sport was her sport, apparently.
[05:40] Rentaro
    Is she even human?
[05:42] Baba
    Mmm... wah!
[05:45] Pa
    M-Miss Baba, what are your
    thoughts going into this?
SIGN    Emcee
[05:48] Baba
    I hope the bouquet leaves the atmosphere
    so that nobody here gets to be happy.
[05:52] Rentaro
    The words of a tosser!
    Just not a bouquet tosser!
[05:54] Pa
    Thank you. Let's get right to it.
[05:56] Pa
    Three!
[05:57] Pa
    Two!
[05:58] Pa
    One! Let's go!
[05:58] Baba
    Time to get my money and call a host over!
[06:03] Guy
    Over there?
[06:03] Girl
    Run!
[06:05] Karane
    Rentaro!
[06:06] Rentaro
    Yeah.
[06:07] Rentaro
    That one's not landing for a while.
[06:12] Rentaro
    What? I thought physical attacks were banned.
[06:15] Cpt Gorilla
    This ain't violence
    against other participants, ook!
[06:18] Cpt Gorilla
    We Gorilla Syndicate
    members are just holding...
[06:21] Cpt Gorilla
    training here, ook!
[06:23] Rentaro
    Whoa!
[06:24] Rentaro
    What?!
[06:25] Cpt Gorilla
    Ain't against the rules, ook!
[06:27] Pa
    Wh-What...
[06:28] Cpt Gorilla
    Right?
[06:29] Pa
    R-Right!
[06:31] Cpt Gorilla
    Ook, ook, ook!
[06:32] Cpt Gorilla
    Keep your distance
    if you don't wanna be bonked!
[06:36] Rentaro
    Hakari!
[06:39] Hakari
    Karane-san!
[06:40] Karane
    If you're gonna bend the rules like that...
[06:46] Karane
    I'm joining the Gorilla Syndicate
    as of this moment!
[06:50] All
    Sh-She's so awesome!
[06:52] Karane
    Come on!
[06:53] Karane
    I'll join this training session or whatever!
[06:56] Cpt Gorilla
    What's with this strength?
[06:58] Cpt Gorilla
    You're like a gorilla, ook!
[06:59] Karane
    Like you can talk!
[07:01] Karane
    I'll hold off this gorilla.
[07:03] Karane
    You guys get that bouquet.
[07:04] Rentaro
    Gotcha.
[07:08] Cpt Gorilla
    Now! Do it!
[07:11] Sub Gorillas
    Gorilla Syndicate Maneuver!
[07:13] Sub Gorillas
    Gorricane!
[07:17] Cpt Gorilla
    Ook! The bouquet is ours!
[07:21] Rentaro
    No! They're gonna win!
[07:23] Guy
    Look at the sky!
[07:25] Girl
    It's a bird!
[07:26] Guy
    It's a plane!
[07:27] Rentaro
    No...
[07:28] Rentaro
    It's Shizuka-chan!
[07:30] Rentaro
    Right. Shizuka-chan was standing 
    next to their cheer squad.
[07:33] Rentaro
    Smack dab in the eye of the hurricane.
[07:37] Rentaro
    Between her feather-light body
[07:39] Rentaro
    and the towel taking the wind, 
    she got blown away like a paraglider!
[07:44] Rentaro
    What is she, a flower fairy?!
[07:49] Shizuka
    "Seize victory by my hand!"
[07:51] Rentaro
    She got it!
[07:58] Rentaro
    Oh, no! She let go of the towel
    and lost her glider!
[08:01] Shizuka
    "I don't wanna die yet, bossman."
[08:03] Hakari
    Shizuka-san!
[08:04] Kusuri
    We gotta catch her!
[08:06] Nano
    Her estimated landing point is... here.
[08:08] Rentaro
    No! You'll all get hurt if you try to
    catch her falling from that height!
[08:13] Hakari
    Shizuka-san!
[08:13] Kusuri
    Shizuka!
[08:13] Nano
    Yoshimoto Shizuka!
[08:17] Rentaro
    God-given airbags?!
[08:19] Hakari
    No! She rebounded...
[08:21] Hakari
    and is still falling at full speed!
[08:28] Rentaro
    Ow... Phew, I made it.
[08:32] Shizuka
    "B-Bossman! Marry me!"
[08:36] Cpt Gorilla
    Ook! Damn it, ook!
[08:40] Cpt Gorilla
    Ook?
[08:41] Karane
    I owe you.
[08:43] Karane
    Thanks for fighting me here.
[08:46] Karane
    You really bailed me out.
[08:49] Cpt Gorilla
    This is... friendship through girl power!
[08:53] Karane
    I'm really...
[08:54] Karane
    really glad.
[08:56] Karane
    Glad I wasn't there.
SIGN    Mountain
SIGN    Mountain
[08:59] Karane
    So, so glad.
SIGN    Valley...
[09:04] Rentaro
    The Rentaro Family...
[09:06] Rentaro
    wins!
[09:08] Shizuka
    "She gave a hearty laugh."
[09:10] Hakari
    Now, let's decide who'll get
    the photoshoot with Rentaro-kun.
[09:15] Hakari
    Luckily, I always bring lots in case
    there's a surprise game of Simon Says!
[09:19] Karane
    Of all the things to carry around
    all the time... you horny pink girl!
[09:22] Hakari
    The one with the red mark
    on the end is the winner.
[09:27] Hakari
    Yes, it's all going just as planned.
[09:30] Hakari
    I knew how tough the bouquet toss would 
    be and that we'd have to cooperate to win.
[09:34] Hakari
    I knew all along.
[09:36] Hakari
    This drawing of lots, which I 
    suggested before the bouquet toss,
[09:40] Hakari
    is the key to my master plan!
[09:42] Hakari
    The winning stick is marked 
    by a tiny cut on the visible end.
[09:47] Hakari
    A "chopped stick"!
[09:49] Hakari
    However, it would be too 
    suspicious if I drew first and won.
[09:55] Hakari
    So the plan is to have 
    someone else draw before I do.
[10:00] Hakari
    And who will it be?
[10:03] Hakari
    It's you, Nano-san!
[10:06] Hakari
    In her quest for efficiency, 
    she'll pick the one closest to her.
[10:11] Hakari
    Thus, if I stop shuffling when 
    the winning stick is farthest from her,
[10:15] Hakari
    there's zero chance she'll pick it!
[10:18] Hakari
    I'm sorry, everyone.
[10:20] Hakari
    But I must make that dream 
    of mine come true today!
[10:24] Hakari
    Would you like to start us off, Nano-san?
[10:27] Nano
    It would be more efficient
    if we all drew at once.
[10:31] Hakari
    I miscalculated!
[10:33] Hakari
    No way... Her thirst for efficiency 
    exceeds my wildest expectations!
[10:39] Hakari
    Is she even human?!
[10:42] Nano
    Missed.
[10:42] Kusuri
    Say it ain't so!
[10:42] Shizuka
    "Ugh. Life sucks, and then you die."
[10:46] Hakari
    Woo-freakin'-hoo!
[10:47] Hakari
    Yay, I win!
[10:49] Karane
    You're saying the quiet part out loud again.
[10:52] Hakari
    Yes... yes!
[10:54] Hakari
    My dream really is coming true!
[10:59] Kusuri
    Kusuri wanted to wear that flowery dress
    and take a pic with Rentaro, too!
[11:03] Rentaro
    Oh, look, the chemist is salty.
[11:05] Rentaro
    It's fine. You'll have plenty of chances.
[11:08] Rentaro
    Let's come back next month, okay?
[11:10] Kusuri
    No! Not going home without that photo!
[11:13] Hakari
    Ah, right. Of course.
[11:17] Hakari
    Someone else should take the photo, not me.
[11:22] Hakari
    That way, she and Rentaro-kun 
    can look back on it as a fond memory.
[11:28] Kusuri
    ...aye!
[11:30] Hakari
    Kusuri-senpai.
[11:31] Kusuri
    Rentaro!
[11:31] Hakari
    If you want it so much, you can
    have the photoshoot instead of me.
[11:36] Rentaro
    Huh?
[11:36] Karane
    W-Wait, what, Hakari?
    Do you have a fever or something?
[11:41] Kusuri
    Thanks! I love you, Hakari!
[11:53] Kusuri
    A-Actually, never mind.
[11:56] Hakari
    Huh?
[11:57] Hakari
    Why? You don't have to hold back.
[12:00] Kusuri
    No, it's not that.
[12:02] Kusuri
    Kusuri love both Rentaro and Hakari.
[12:06] Kusuri
    Watching two favorite people take
    a photo together would be very fun, aye.
[12:13] Kusuri
    Sorry for being a baby.
[12:18] Karane
    Well, go get it over with already.
[12:22] Hakari
    Hey, uh, why don't we
     all take the photo together?
[12:26] Karane
    What? We've got like
    a billion group shots already.
[12:30] Hakari
    Yeah, but... I'd really like
    everyone to be in this one.
[12:35] Photographer
    Here we go.
[12:37] Photographer
    Smile, everyone.
[12:40] Photographer
    Three, two, one...
[12:51] Kusuri
    Can't wait to see it!
[12:54] Karane
    They said they'd print it out immediately.
[12:57] Hakari
    Thank you, Rentaro-kun.
[13:01] Hakari
    It's always been my dream
[13:04] Hakari
    to wear this dress and take
    a photo with the one I love.
[13:10] Hakari
    From the moment I met you, all the way to now,
[13:13] Hakari
    every day has been filled with happiness,
[13:16] Hakari
    like I was living out a fantasy.
[13:19] Rentaro
    Oh, my. I feel the same way.
[13:23] Rentaro
    Thanks for everything, Hakari.
[13:25] Hakari
    May I make just one selfish request?
[13:30] Rentaro
    What, just one?
    I'll fulfill every request you have.
[13:38] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun, please...
[13:44] Hakari
    Please break up with me.
[13:50] Rentaro
    What's the meaning of this, Hakari?
[13:53] (Flashback) Hakari
    Please break up with me.
[13:56] Rentaro
    Anyway, I need to know why.
[13:58] Rentaro
    I should talk to her and figure out the reason.
[14:02] Rentaro
    Huh? Where's Hakari?
[14:05] Staff
    Your girlfriend?
    She said she had urgent business and left.
[14:08] Staff
    As soon as I handed her the photo,
    a car came to pick her up.
[14:11] Kusuri
    Urgent business? Peeing?
[14:13] Karane
    She's not you.
[14:15] Kusuri
    Huh? Kusuri not the only one who pees.
[14:17] Kusuri
    What you talking about, aye?
[14:19] Nano
    Did something happen?
[14:20] Shizuka
    "Oh, how I worry."
[14:22] Rentaro
    It's nothing. I'll try calling her.
[14:26] Kusuri
    Do you not pee, Karane?
[14:27] Rentaro
    I shouldn't make them worry when 
    I don't have the details yet.
[14:28] Nano
    There's a 99% chance that she does.
[14:31] Karane
    What's the other 1% for?
[14:32] Shizuka
    "Tell me. Are you not human?"
[14:33] Rentaro
    Okay, she's not answering.
[14:35] Rentaro
    That leaves just one other option... 
    the thing she randomly sent me.
[14:39] Rentaro
    Her sexy pin-up collection had a return 
    address on the back of the envelope.
[14:47] Rentaro
    I-It's huge.
[14:49] Rentaro
    A pond in the yard?
[14:51] Rentaro
    A fountain?!
[14:52] Rentaro
    Talk about a storybook mansion.
[14:56] Rentaro
    Hakari!
[14:58] Rentaro
    Hey, Hakari! Hey!
[15:02] Rentaro
    Hakari!
[15:03] Rentaro
    Hey!
[15:06] Rentaro
    What? Is she telling me to get down?
[15:08] Security
    Who's there?
[15:14] Security
    Guess it was nothing.
[15:18] Rentaro
    Wh-What the heck? She's got a security guard?!
SIGN    Unknown Number
[15:26] Rentaro
    Hello?
[15:27] Hakari
    It's me.
[15:28] Rentaro
    Hakari!
[15:29] Hakari
    There's no time. Please make it quick.
[15:33] Rentaro
    That's a landline.
[15:35] Rentaro
    Where's her cellphone?
[15:37] Rentaro
    There's no way I could accept 
    a sudden breakup without a reason.
[15:42] Rentaro
    I seriously love you!
[15:44] Hakari
    A reason? I fell out of love with you, is all.
[15:49] Hakari
    So please accept it and move on, Aijo-kun.
[15:56] Rentaro
    Don't lie to me.
[15:58] Rentaro
    I can tell, obviously.
[16:00] Rentaro
    I'm not going anywhere
    until you tell me what's going on.
[16:05] Hakari
    Mother found out.
[16:08] Hakari
    About us... About all of us.
[16:11] Rentaro
    About how I'm going out with all of them?
[16:15] Hakari
    I told her how faithful you are,
[16:19] Hakari
    how we're all... how I'm as happy
    as I could be with our relationship.
[16:23] Hakari
    I told her everything.
[16:26] Hakari
    But she took away my phone and arranged for 
    me to transfer schools and move tomorrow.
[16:31] Hakari
    Even I don't know where.
[16:33] Rentaro
    What? That's crazy!
[16:35] Hakari
    That's just how Mother is.
[16:38] Hakari
    She has no trouble using her money
    to bend everything to her will.
[16:44] Hakari
    Even if we do meet again somehow,
[16:46] Hakari
    she'll tear us apart,
    as many times as it takes.
[16:49] Hakari
    Our days together are over.
[16:53] Hakari
    Forever and ever.
[16:56] Rentaro
    B-But...
[16:58] Hakari
    I've told you the truth.
[17:00] Hakari
    Now go...
[17:03] Rentaro
    Hakari!
[17:04] Hahari
    Never approach Hakari again.
[17:07] Hahari
    I can get rid of a teenaged rat 
    like you anytime I wish.
[17:12] Rentaro
    This voice...
[17:13] Rentaro
    Uh, Hakari's mom!
[17:15] Rentaro
    Wait, please hear me out!
    Please let me talk to you!
[17:20] Rentaro
    I beg you, let me state my case!
[17:21] Security
    You there!
[17:22] Security
    What are you yelling about?!
[17:24] Rentaro
    I was just trying to see
    the people who live here.
[17:27] Security
    Hm?
[17:28] Security
    You're Aijo Rentaro,
    the young miss's ex-boyfriend.
[17:32] Security
    The missus warned us never to let you in.
[17:34] Rentaro
    It's important! Please!
[17:36] Security
    Are you trying to get arrested?!
[17:38] Security
    Give it up!
[17:40] Security
    There's a lot in this world you can't change.
[17:43] Security
    Especially when you're just a kid.
[17:49] Hahari
    Did I not make myself clear, Hakari?
[17:51] Hahari
    I told you to stay away from him.
[17:53] Hakari
    Please, Mother! Let this go!
[17:58] Hahari
    If you can't listen to your mother,
[18:00] Hahari
    I'll be forced to send him somewhere far,
    far away, where nobody will ever see him.
[18:07] Hakari
    I'm sorry!
    I swear I'll never disobey you again!
[18:11] Hakari
    So please, don't do anything to Rentaro-kun!
[18:15] Hakari
    I beg you, please!
[18:18] Hahari
    Yes, Hakari. That's the way.
[18:20] Hahari
    Everything I do, I do for your good.
[18:25] Hahari
    Oh, my dear Hakari.
[18:28] Hahari
    My sweet, sweet Hakari.
[18:31] Hahari
    I'll never let some five-time maggot 
    who'll only bring you sorrow have you.
[18:36] Hahari
    Any insect that threatens 
    my dearest flower will be exterminated.
[18:44] (Flashback) Hakari
    Our days together are over.
[18:49] (Flashback) Hahari
    I can get rid of a teenaged rat 
    like you anytime I wish.
[18:54] (Flashback) Security
    There's a lot in this world you can't change.
[18:57] (Flashback) Security
    Especially when you're just a kid.
[19:06] Rentaro
    No brawns or brains.
[19:09] Rentaro
    No money or power, either!
[19:11] Rentaro
    You're just a kid!
[19:13] Rentaro
    What do you know about love?
[19:14] Rentaro
    What do you know about making someone happy?
[19:17] Rentaro
    There's absolutely nothing you can do!
[19:41] Karane
    Hakari's mom is forcing you to split up?!
[19:44] Karane
    She's moving tomorrow?
[19:46] Karane
    Why didn't that idiot say anything?
[19:49] Shizuka
    "The adults never play fair!"
[19:52] Nano
    This is theoretically impossible to resolve.
[19:54] Kusuri
    Wh-What are you gonna do, Rentaro?
[19:57] Rentaro
    I'm about to sneak into
    the mansion and break Hakari out.
[20:02] Kusuri
    Oh, know about this!
    It's called "eloping," aye?
[20:06] Shizuka
    "It's never that easy, bossman."
[20:09] Karane
    She's stupidly rich, right?
    They can find you easily.
[20:14] Nano
    Zero chance of success.
[20:17] Rentaro
    Yeah... I'm not sure how long
    we'll have or how far we'll get.
[20:22] Rentaro
    But...
[20:23] Rentaro
    I have to do everything I can
    to bring Hakari happiness!
[20:30] Rentaro
    Anything and everything I can do now,
[20:32] Rentaro
    with all I've got!
[20:35] Rentaro
    The way she looked back there, I could
    never leave her like that, even if it kills me!
[20:41] Rentaro
    So tonight, Hakari and I
    are going to leave town.
[20:45] Rentaro
    I don't know where we'll go, or for how long.
[20:51] Rentaro
    But someday, we will
    come back here... to all of you.
[20:56] Rentaro
    So...
[20:58] Rentaro
    could you please wait for us?
[21:05] Karane
    Okay, that's bullshit.
[21:08] Karane
    We don't know when we'll see you,
[21:10] Karane
    or if we'll even see you again at all!
[21:13] Karane
    There's no way we can just sit around
    forever and stay in love with you!
[21:17] Rentaro
    Of course... of course!
[21:20] Karane
    So I'm going with you.
[21:23] Karane
    I'm saying I'm gonna help you
    get that idiot out of there!
[21:29] Kusuri
    Karane, you eloping, too?
[21:31] Karane
    Wha?
[21:32] Kusuri
    Kusuri wanna elope, too!
[21:34] Nano
    The more help you have, the better.
    It'll improve the odds, even if by 0.01%.
[21:40] Shizuka
    "Together we shall embark on a quest for love."
[21:43] Rentaro
    W-Wait, girls. This is not
    a decision you can make lightly!
[21:53] Rentaro
    Oh, I see. They're the same as me.
[21:56] Rentaro
    They all love Hakari, too.
[22:00] Rentaro
    All right. Let's all go.
[22:06] Rentaro
    We're bringing Hakari back!

E10 - Love Mission: Impossible
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] (Flashback) Hakari
    Rentaro-kun, please...
[00:04] (Flashback) Hakari
    Please break up with me.
[00:07] Narrator
    Hakari abruptly signaled
    an end to their relationship.
[00:10] Narrator
    She made the painful decision to protect
    Rentaro from her overly doting mother.
[00:18] Narrator
    Rentaro struggled to cope
    with the weight of his powerlessness.
[00:22] Narrator
    But he wasn't the only one
    who truly cared for Hakari.
[00:27] Narrator
    The members of the Rentaro Family
    all vowed to bring Hakari back.
[00:31] Narrator
    Their love, and the strength of their bonds,
    shall now be put to the test.
[00:41] Kusuri
    Whoa! This yard's got a fountain!
[00:45] Karane
    A rich person's house's garden...
[00:47] Nano
    Sneaking in using the noise
    of the fountain... how logical.
[00:51] Rentaro
    Security here is tight.
    We need to stay focused.
[00:55] Shizuka
    "I gotchu, brother."
[01:00] Rentaro
    Let's go get Hakari, everyone.
[01:03] Rentaro
    Rentaro Family, the mission is a go!
[01:07] Karane
    You've still got that little boy in you, huh?
SIGN    The 100 Girlfriends
    Who Really, Really, Really, Really, REALLY Love You
SIGN    Crossing
SIGN    Reminiscing Lunch
SIGN    B-Come Tast-E
SIGN    I went all-out making lunch this morning <3
SIGN    To Rentaro-kun
    You might think this is all a bit overblown,
    but I'm writing this letter to express how thankful I am for all you do.
    Rentaro-kun, thank you so much for always bringing joy into my life.
    I've put all my feelings of gratitude into making lunch for you.
    Would you eat with me, if you don't mind?
    I'll be waiting on the rooftop during lunch break <3
    -Hakari
    P.S. I believe my figure has become
    more shapely these days.
    I'm including a photograph
    I took recently along with this letter.
    Enjoy <3
SIGN    To Rentaro!
    You'd better come to the rooftop during lunch break!
    Promise me you will!!
    Don't ask why! Just do it!
    I made too many side dishes, is all!
    (Though part of it was me hoping you would eat them...)
    So don't get the wrong idea! I'm just repaying you here!
    We gotta eat lunch together!!!!
    - Inda Karane
SIGN    To Rentaro-kun
    It feels a little strange writing to you
    when we see each other all the time.
    But I'm much better at expressing
    my feelings through writing, so I figured I should
    tell you how I constantly feel about you this way.
    Thank you truly for always looking out for me
    and respecting my feelings.
    I will treasure the days I spend with you for life.
    Rentaro-kun, do you happen to have time
    during lunch break today? If you do,
    then I would love to have lunch with you.
    -Yoshimoto Shizuka
SIGN    When a > 0 and b > 0,
    the Rentaro a/b + b/a >= 2 Nano inequation becomes
    a/b > 0 and b/a > 0.
    With the addition of "Gratitude" and the arithmetic mean of "Lunch,"
    we get Rentaro = a/b + b/a >= Lunch 2√(a/b x b/a)
    = 2x Happiness
    = Nano
    Lunch a² + Lunch b² >= 2ab
    (a-b)² = If you eat it, it no longer exists
    As such, when a = b, lunch will be proven.
SIGN    Rentaro, thanks for everything, aye.
    It looks like today will be a beautiful day,
    so I wanna eat lunch with you, aye!
    It'll be delicious for sure, aye!
    Note: Heat this area up for a surprise!
SIGN    Hngh
[02:43] Rentaro
    Hakari...
[02:45] Rentaro
    Okay, she still hasn't gotten her phone back.
[02:48] Rentaro
    In that case...
[02:52] Karane
    A rubber ball?
[02:54] Rentaro
    I'll throw this ball to get her attention,
[02:56] Rentaro
    and then she can climb down the rope.
[02:59] Kusuri
    Aww...
[03:00] Kusuri
    Close, aye.
[03:02] Rentaro
    A little higher, huh?
[03:05] Rentaro
    Where's the ball?
[03:07] Nano
    Lost sight of it.
[03:08] Shizuka
    "Where to?"
[03:09] Kusuri
    Can't see it in this dark.
[03:13] Karane
    I-Is that...
[03:16] Karane
    a rich person's house cat?
[03:18] Karane
    Hey, give that back.
[03:20] Karane
    Get back here!
[03:22] Kusuri
    Stop right there!
[03:25] Karane
    C'mon, we need some teamwork here.
[03:27] Kusuri
    Apologies.
[03:29] Nano
    To stop a cat...
[03:31] Nano
    it's most efficient to give it
    a swift kick and disable it.
[03:33] Rentaro
    Don't! We don't want PETA
    breathing down our necks!
[03:36] Rentaro
    Wait, wait, wait!
[03:37] Nano
    Row, row, fight the power.
[03:38] Security
    Who's there?
[03:47] Karane
    The cat...
[03:52] Security
    Oh, it's just you.
[03:54] Security
    Playing with your ball again?
[03:57] Security
    What am I gonna do with you?
[03:59] Security
    Come on, I'll play with ya.
    Let me have that.
[04:02] Security
    Hey, don't run!
[04:03] Kusuri
    We lost our ball.
[04:05] Security
    Give me that ball!
[04:05] Shizuka
    "The princess's room is walled off, too."
[04:08] Rentaro
    We'll have to go to her.
[04:11] Karane
    How will we even get in?
[04:14] Nano
    If they have a cat,
    they likely have one of those.
[04:19] Nano
    There. A pet door.
[04:22] Nano
    It's unlocked.
[04:24] Shizuka
    "But this size would suit only a baby."
[04:28] Karane
    Kusuri.
[04:29] Karane
    Can your drug make us even smaller?
[04:32] Kusuri
    Uh, this not a drug to make body smaller.
[04:35] Kusuri
    It's a failed immortality drug.
[04:38] Rentaro
    It sounds insane,
    no matter how many times I hear it.
[04:42] Karane
    Nano? What do you have there?
[04:44] Karane
    Rocks?
[04:46] Nano
    I collected them from the garden.
[04:58] Nano
    It's open.
[04:59] Karane
    But how?!
[05:00] Nano
    I determined the lock's location
    and type from the door shape,
[05:04] Nano
    and launched pebbles at the correct angle
    and speed to force the lock open.
[05:10] Karane
    The work of an actual android!
[05:12] Nano
    Prolonging the Hanazono Hakari rescue
    operation increases the risk of failure.
[05:17] Nano
    Get inside at once.
[05:19] Rentaro
    Nano.
[05:20] Rentaro
    What's wrong with your hand?
[05:24] Rentaro
    Your nail's split and bleeding!
[05:28] Rentaro
    I have disinfectant and bandages in my bag.
[05:30] Karane
    Let me grab them.
[05:33] Karane
    You dumbass.
[05:34] Karane
    Why'd you go and do that?
[05:36] Nano
    I had to use my nail for
    maximum accuracy and velocity.
[05:40] Karane
    You didn't have to go that far!
[05:42] Nano
    I owe Hanazono Hakari a favor.
[05:44] (Flashback) Hakari
    Neither of us are hanging out with you!
[05:49] Nano
    No.
[05:51] Nano
    I want to help her.
[05:56] Rentaro
    All right, slow and steady.
[06:02] Rentaro
    What's that?
[06:05] Kusuri
    A...
[06:05] Kusuri
    A bear!
[06:07] Karane
    No, that's...
[06:11] Karane
    A rich person's guard dog!
[06:12] Rentaro
    If it attacks, we're done for!
[06:15] Rentaro
    Everyone, out!
[06:19] Kusuri
    Almost leaked and got
    Honey Hunted by the Winnie Bear.
[06:23] Karane
    I told you, that was a dog.
[06:25] Nano
    And honey is not urine.
[06:29] Rentaro
    Huh?
[06:30] Rentaro
    Where's Shizuka-chan?
[06:33] Rentaro
    Please, no.
[06:36] Shizuka
    "Bossman, let me tell ya,
    I ain't good for snackin'!"
[06:39] Karane
    She's too scared to stand up!
[06:43] Rentaro
    Shizuka—
[06:45] Nano
    Raising your voice will only provoke
    the dog and alert security.
[06:49] Nano
    Besides, I have a theory.
[06:51] Shizuka
    Of course I wouldn't be of any help!
[06:56] Shizuka
    If I was going to be dead weight, 
    I never should've come...
[07:05] Shizuka
    No.
[07:06] Shizuka
    I came along because 
    I wanted to help Hakari-san.
[07:10] Shizuka
    Rentaro-kun said it himself. 
    He's not sure how far he'll get,
[07:14] Shizuka
    but he'll do anything 
    and everything, with all he's got!
[07:16] Shizuka
    I'm here to do the same!
[07:20] Shizuka
    And this is all I can do right now!
[07:26] Shizuka
    "Fly, you fools."
SIGN    Heroic Sacrifice
[07:28] Narrator
    Heroic sacrifice.
[07:29] Rentaro
    Shizuka-chan?!
[07:44] Rentaro
    Huh?
[07:46] Nano
    I knew it. The dog didn't appear
    to be attacking Yoshimoto Shizuka.
[07:51] Rentaro
    What's going on?
[07:52] Nano
    Dogs have a natural instinct to protect
    weak animals such as infants.
[07:57] Karane
    Even if they're invading their territory?
[08:01] Nano
    Presumably...
[08:02] Nano
    Yoshimoto Shizuka's extraordinary weakness
    overwhelmed its territorial instincts.
[08:10] Rentaro
    That's our Shizuka-chan!
[08:12] Karane
    Way to go.
[08:13] Kusuri
    Survival of the un-fittest!
SIGN    °These are compliments
[08:16] Rentaro
    What now, though?
[08:18] Rentaro
    It'll probably get back on edge
    if we try to enter.
[08:23] (Flashback) Purplehimbo
    Uck!
[08:24] Nano
    Have Yoshimoto Shizuka gouge its
    eyes out when she has the chance.
[08:27] Rentaro
    Stop suggesting animal cruelty
    against Hakari's pets!
[08:30] Kusuri
    Leave this to Kusuri.
[08:34] Rentaro
    Kusuri-senpai? What's that drug?
[08:37] Kusuri
    Heh-heh. This drug...
[08:41] Kusuri
    is sleeping medicine that instantly
    puts any animal to sleep!
[08:45] Rentaro
    I see! We use it to neutralize the dog!
[08:51] Kusuri
    Shizuka! Use that drug!
[09:02] Rentaro
    She drank it!
SIGN    ZZZ...
[09:04] Karane
    Idiot! Why didn't you tell her
    to use it on the dog?!
[09:08] Kusuri
    Messed up!
[09:09] Karane
    What now? With Shizuka asleep,
    we're out of options!
SIGN    ZZZ...
[09:13] Karane
    The mother of all lucky breaks!
[09:15] Rentaro
    N-Nice. Now we can get in.
[09:18] Kusuri
    Wake up Shizuka with the reversing medicine.
[09:26] Rentaro
    This is one long corridor.
[09:28] Karane
    Rich person's corridor...
[09:32] Karane
    It's that rich person's house cat again!
[09:34] Karane
    Where's our ball?
[09:36] Rentaro
    We don't need the ball. Let it be.
[09:41] Rentaro
    Security's coming!
[09:43] Rentaro
    No, we can't escape. This corridor's too long!
[09:48] Security B
    Who's there?!
[09:51] Security B
    You again?
[09:52] Security B
    How many times have you tripped
    the infrared sensors here now?
[09:56] Security C
    Sheesh. Here, have a treat.
[10:01] Security B
    Where does it keep sneaking in here from?
[10:14] Rentaro
    Did he just say infrared sensors?
[10:16] Shizuka
    "The guards ain't gonna 
    let us through that easy."
[10:19] Nano
    Passing through without IR goggles
    has a 99% chance of failure.
[10:25] Kusuri
    Lucky, lucky.
[10:31] Kusuri
    Kusuri brought infrared-vision eye drops.
[10:33] Rentaro
    Deus ex medicine!
[10:36] Kusuri
    Hey, nobody forcing you to use it.
[10:38] Rentaro
    Okay, okay! I'll use it!
[10:41] Nano
    Why fret over such a minor coincidence?
[10:43] Nano
    The chances of the Big Bang,
    creation of life,
SIGN    Shake
SIGN    Shake
[10:45] Nano
    and us being here right now
    is 0.00000000000...
[10:47] Shizuka
    "You've done enough. Come home."
[10:49] Rentaro
    Uh, one drop in each eye, right?
[10:52] Kusuri
    Be careful! Only two drops of that medicine!
[10:55] Kusuri
    Oh.
[10:56] Kusuri
    By the way, side effect of medicine
[10:57] Kusuri
    is blindness to everything but
    infrared for duration, so be careful.
[11:02] Rentaro
    Couldn't you have mentioned that first?!
[11:04] Kusuri
    Well, close eyes until it starts working.
[11:11] Karane
    Kusuri, you dropped this.
[11:14] Nano
    Is that addressed to...
[11:15] Kusuri
    Oh, never mind that!
[11:18] Kusuri
    I-It's nothing.
[11:21] Karane
    Huh? Why are you hiding it?
[11:24] Karane
    The address was in English, wasn't it?
[11:26] Nano
    It was addressed to a foreign research
    team with a massive pharmaceutical lab.
[11:31] Karane
    Wait, you mean...
[11:32] (Flashback) Kusuri
    But maximum effort goes into the one for
    applying to the dream research team!
[11:39] Karane
    Her dream research team?
[11:42] Nano
    If she doesn't post her
    application today, I believe...
[11:45] Karane
    She won't make the deadline?
[11:46] Karane
    Hey, Kusuri!
[11:48] Shizuka
    "Training there was" "Kusuri-senpai's..."
[11:51] Rentaro
    It was that important?
    Are you sure you should've used it?
[11:55] Kusuri
    Kusuri caused Hakari trouble with drugs
    and tantrums, but she remained a friend.
[12:03] Kusuri
    She's a dear friend,
    way more important than research team.
[12:10] Rentaro
    Each and every one of them loves 
    Hakari and wants to help her.
[12:15] Kusuri
    Drug start working soon, aye?
[12:18] Kusuri
    Now let's go save Hakari!
[12:20] Rentaro
    Yeah, we're gonna save you for sure!
[12:25] Rentaro
    Wait.
[12:26] Rentaro
    This is impossible even for Tom Cruise!
[12:32] Rentaro
    There are rays everywhere,
    from floor to ceiling.
[12:35] Karane
    A rich person's house's infrared sensors...
[12:38] Rentaro
    Huh? Wasn't the ceiling here a lot higher?
[12:42] Rentaro
    Something feels off now that 
    I can't see anything but infrareds.
[12:46] Shizuka
    "It seems" "higher than Yggdrasil itself."
[12:49] Kusuri
    They even got chandeliers! Super swanky!
[12:52] Rentaro
    I see! The ceiling felt lower
[12:55] Rentaro
    because they can't put sensors
    where the chandeliers are!
[12:58] Rentaro
    That's our way through!
[13:00] Karane
    Yeah, but how are we getting up there?
[13:04] Rentaro
    Right... We could've managed in a tight space,
[13:07] Rentaro
    but this corridor is just too wide.
[13:09] Nano
    Theoretically still possible if two people
    of sufficient strength work together.
[13:15] Rentaro
    Huh?
[13:16] Nano
    Unfortunately, apart from Aijo Rentaro,
    the rest of us are all girls.
[13:22] Nano
    Oh.
[13:23] Karane
    Huh?
[13:24] Kusuri
    Ah!
[13:26] Karane
    What? What's going on?
[13:29] Nano
    Inda Karane.
[13:31] Nano
    You're capable of it.
[13:32] Karane
    I'm a girl, too, you know?!
[13:35] Nano
    You will also be tied together
    by rope to ensure success.
[13:38] Karane
    There's no way this is gonna work!
[13:40] Nano
    True. If you aren't perfectly matched
    and in sync, the chances of success...
[13:44] Rentaro
    We're good, then.
[13:46] Rentaro
    It's Karane and me, after all.
[13:49] Karane
    Gah, fine! You're on!
[13:51] Rentaro
    Let's do this. Ready?
[13:54] Rentarokarane
    One, two...
[13:56] Kusuri
    Careful, aye?
[13:59] Shizuka
    "All the tension in the world today."
[14:06] Rentaro
    Okay, we're above the sensors.
    Now to make it across.
[14:10] Karane
    Got it.
[14:12] Rentarokarane
    One, two...
[14:22] Rentaro
    One...
[14:23] Karane
    Two...
[14:24] Karane
    One, two...
[14:27] Karane
    Eek?!
[14:28] Rentaro
    Karane, you okay?
[14:30] Karane
    Y-Yeah, it's nothing!
[14:32] Rentaro
    Oh, really?
[14:34] Rentaro
    That aside...
[14:35] Rentaro
    Karane-chan, your cutesy clothes are starting
    to feel kinda smooth and slippery.
[14:39] Karane
    Th-Th-Th-That's just how the material is!
[14:42] Rentaro
    Huh? Oh, so that is your clothes.
[14:44] Rentaro
    I nearly got the wrong idea
    because I can't see.
[14:47] Rentaro
    Okay, let's get back to work.
[14:50] Rentaro
    Here we go, Karane. Ready?
[14:53] Rentarokarane
    One, two...
[14:57] Karane
    Ah, don't press so hard!
[14:57] Rentaro
    One, two...
[15:01] Karane
    Rentaro's cheek is right on my tummy!
[15:05] Karane
    Slipping and sliding all over it!
[15:13] Karane
    No, stop! Stop, stop, stop!
[15:17] Karane
    Stop, stop, stop, stop!
[15:21] Karane
    Stahp!
[15:26] Kusuri
    They did it, aye!
[15:29] Kusuri
    A brilliant breakthrough!
SIGN    hooray hooray
[15:31] Shizuka
    "A commendable effort."
[15:32] Karane
    What the heck was up with that?!
[15:35] Karane
    This house must be filled 
    with that horndog's bad vibes!
SIGN    Horndog
[15:40] Rentaro
    Okay, we're going on ahead.
[15:42] Rentaro
    The rest of you hide outside
    and be ready to run.
[15:49] Shizuka
    "Roger."
[15:51] Rentaro
    Don't worry. We're all in this together.
[15:53] Rentaro
    We'll grab Hakari
[15:55] Rentaro
    and come back to you for sure.
[16:05] Karane
    Here.
[16:06] Karane
    This is Hakari's room.
[16:08] Rentaro
    We made it.
[16:09] Karane
    Okay, I'm opening the door.
[16:16] Karane
    Hakari, you...
[16:20] Female Pa
    Lady Hakari is escaping.
[16:20] Karane
    What's going on?
[16:22] Karane
    Huh? Wha?!
[16:24] Rentaro
    The door's rigged with an alarm 
    so Hakari can't escape.
[16:27] Rentaro
    Who does that to their own daughter?!
[16:31] Hakari
    Why are you two here?!
[16:32] Rentaro
    We came to get you!
    Let's get outta here, Hakari!
[16:36] Karane
    Not happening, Rentaro.
[16:39] Karane
    We're already surrounded.
[16:44] Hahari
    You two.
[16:47] Hahari
    What are you doing here?
[16:49] Rentaro
    That voice...
[16:51] Hakari
    Mother!
[16:57] Shizuka
    "The sanctuary fell silent once more."
[16:59] Kusuri
    What happened?
[17:01] Nano
    Aijo Rentaro. Inda Karane.
[17:04] Security
    Who's there?!
[17:09] Nano
    Mew.
[17:10] Kusuri
    Meown...
[17:11] Shizuka
    "'Meow,' it cried."
[17:13] Security
    Oh, just the cat again.
[17:17] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun won't give up.
[17:20] Hakari
    He'll never give up on bringing me happiness.
[17:25] Hakari
    And Mother will never stop, either.
[17:29] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun will be forever 
    bound to me and Mother.
[17:33] Hakari
    He'll waste his life away!
[17:37] Hakari
    If all I can do is make 
    my beloved Rentaro-kun unhappy...
[17:42] Hakari
    If I will remain a shackle on his heart 
    for as long as I live...
[17:49] Hahari
    I believe this is our first time meeting
    face-to-face, Aijo Rentaro-kun.
[17:53] Hahari
    And Inda Karane-san.
[17:55] Hahari
    I am Hakari's mother, Hanazono Hahari.
[17:59] Hahari
    I'm letting you be because
    you are Hakari's friends,
[18:02] Hahari
    but know that you'll be restrained
    the moment you try anything untoward.
[18:07] Hahari
    Hmph.
[18:09] Hahari
    I would've disposed of them already 
    if it wouldn't upset Hakari.
[18:14] Hahari
    By the way, why do your eyes look like that?
    Is it some sort of special ability?
[18:18] Rentaro
    No, I don't have mystic eyes
    of perception or anything.
[18:21] Rentaro
    We failed in getting Hakari out.
[18:24] Rentaro
    At this point,
[18:25] Rentaro
    there's only one thing I can do.
[18:28] Rentaro
    Would you please give
    Hakari-san and me your blessing?
[18:32] Rentaro
    I promise to make her happy!
[18:35] Rentaro
    Be direct and express my heartfelt feelings!
[18:38] Hahari
    Do you really believe you can change
    my mind with such empty promises?
[18:41] Rentaro
    It's not an empty promise!
[18:43] Hahari
    I was 13 and in my second year of
    middle school when I gave birth to Hakari.
[18:48] Hahari
    Why do you think I did that?
[18:51] Rentaro
    Because you love babies more than anything...
[18:53] Hahari
    Wrong.
[18:55] Hahari
    Because the person I loved fell ill
[18:57] Hahari
    and was doomed to die.
[19:01] Hahari
    I needed a keepsake.
    Something to prove he existed.
[19:06] Hahari
    So I got the finest medical care,
[19:09] Hahari
    and risked artificial insemination
    and childbirth at the age of 13.
[19:15] Hahari
    Thinking back,
    I'm appalled at my own recklessness.
[19:20] Hahari
    But it's in our blood.
[19:23] Hahari
    Both mine and Hakari's.
[19:25] Hahari
    Once we fall in love,
    we become hopelessly blind.
[19:29] Hahari
    Unable to see anything else,
[19:31] Hahari
    we convince ourselves that love
    is the only path to a happy life.
[19:35] Hahari
    But he passed,
[19:39] Hahari
    I was left alone,
[19:41] Hahari
    until I became a mother.
[19:44] Hahari
    I've dedicated my whole life to raising Hakari.
[19:48] Hahari
    Of course, I have loved Hakari dearly,
[19:52] Hahari
    and she has been my shining ray of hope.
[19:56] Hahari
    However...
[19:58] Hahari
    She is no substitute for him.
[20:01] Hahari
    She could never fill the void he left.
[20:06] Hahari
    Ever since he died, not a single day
    has passed where I didn't ask myself
[20:11] Hahari
    if this was truly the life of joy
    I wanted for myself.
[20:14] Hahari
    I don't ever want Hakari
    to experience this heart-wrenching regret.
[20:19] Hahari
    But Hakari can't realize this on her own.
    I know I couldn't.
[20:24] Hahari
    That's why I must open her eyes
    before it's too late.
[20:27] Hahari
    Let her know that a five-timing man can
    never give her the life of joy she dreams of!
[20:36] Hahari
    Do you see now?
    I'm not doing this in a fit of rage.
[20:39] Hahari
    I made the decision to separate you two
    based on my own experiences.
[20:46] Hahari
    You cannot change my mind
    with mere words alone.
[20:51] Karane
    Rentaro...
[20:53] Karane
    Rentaro?!
[20:54] Karane
    Don't let her sob story get to you!
[20:56] Karane
    You're supposed to be convincing her!
[21:00] Rentaro
    But I mean...
[21:02] Rentaro
    Hahari-san and Hakari have...
[21:04] Rentaro
    They've been through so much!
[21:09] Rentaro
    But I feel the same way.
[21:12] Rentaro
    I don't want Hakari to regret anything, either.
[21:16] Rentaro
    And I won't let her, even if it kills me!
[21:21] Rentaro
    Huh? I'm starting to see again.
[21:24] Rentaro
    Oh, right. The tears must've 
    washed the eye drops out.
SIGN    Krrrack!!
[21:38] Narrator
    For Hahari, who lost her lover
    at the age of 13,
[21:43] Narrator
    it had been 16 years
    since she felt the sparks of love fly.
[21:48] Narrator
    Back then, it had overwhelmed and blinded her.
[21:51] Narrator
    It had stained the rest of her days
    with regrets so deep,
[21:56] Narrator
    she had grown to despise the feeling.
[21:58] Narrator
    Faced with the emotion she hated
    so much once more, Hahari...
[22:03] Hahari
    Rentaro-chan! Please go out with me!
[22:07] Narrator
    ...went blind again. Yep.

E11 - Even If It Kills Me
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    BEFORE
[00:00] Narrator
    Last time on* 100 Girlfriends*...
[00:03] (Flashback) Hahari
    Aijo Rentaro...
[00:05] (Flashback) Hahari
    I will make that five-timing maggot
    pay dearly for his sins.
SIGN    AFTER
[00:10] (Flashback) Hahari
    Rentaro-chan! Please go out with me!
[00:14] Narrator
    Recap over!
SIGN    The 100 Girlfriends
    Who Really, Really, Really, Really, REALLY Love You
SIGN    Crossing
SIGN    Reminiscing Lunch
SIGN    B-Come Tast-E
SIGN    I went all-out making lunch this morning <3
SIGN    To Rentaro-kun
    You might think this is all a bit overblown,
    but I'm writing this letter to express how thankful I am for all you do.
    Rentaro-kun, thank you so much for always bringing joy into my life.
    I've put all my feelings of gratitude into making lunch for you.
    Would you eat with me, if you don't mind?
    I'll be waiting on the rooftop during lunch break <3
    -Hakari
    P.S. I believe my figure has become
    more shapely these days.
    I'm including a photograph
    I took recently along with this letter.
    Enjoy <3
SIGN    To Rentaro!
    You'd better come to the rooftop during lunch break!
    Promise me you will!!
    Don't ask why! Just do it!
    I made too many side dishes, is all!
    (Though part of it was me hoping you would eat them...)
    So don't get the wrong idea! I'm just repaying you here!
    We gotta eat lunch together!!!!
    - Inda Karane
SIGN    To Rentaro-kun
    It feels a little strange writing to you
    when we see each other all the time.
    But I'm much better at expressing
    my feelings through writing, so I figured I should
    tell you how I constantly feel about you this way.
    Thank you truly for always looking out for me
    and respecting my feelings.
    I will treasure the days I spend with you for life.
    Rentaro-kun, do you happen to have time
    during lunch break today? If you do,
    then I would love to have lunch with you.
    -Yoshimoto Shizuka
SIGN    When a > 0 and b > 0,
    the Rentaro a/b + b/a >= 2 Nano inequation becomes
    a/b > 0 and b/a > 0.
    With the addition of "Gratitude" and the arithmetic mean of "Lunch,"
    we get Rentaro = a/b + b/a >= Lunch 2√(a/b x b/a)
    = 2x Happiness
    = Nano
    Lunch a² + Lunch b² >= 2ab
    (a-b)² = If you eat it, it no longer exists
    As such, when a = b, lunch will be proven.
SIGN    Rentaro, thanks for everything, aye.
    It looks like today will be a beautiful day,
    so I wanna eat lunch with you, aye!
    It'll be delicious for sure, aye!
    Note: Heat this area up for a surprise!
SIGN    Hngh
[02:07] Karane
    What the hell did she just blurt out
    to her daughter's boyfriend?
[02:10] Karane
    She must be insane.
SIGN    ba-dump ba-dump
[02:14] Rentaro
    Well, uh... um...
SIGN    ba-dump ba-dump
[02:17] Karane
    Are you insane?! Quit getting all lovestruck!
[02:20] Karane
    That's Hakari's mother!
    Your girlfriend's mother!
[02:23] Karane
    There is no way!
[02:24] Karane
    No way, right?!
[02:26] Hahari
    D-D-Don't get the wrong idea!
[02:28] Hahari
    That was simply a joke!
[02:30] Hahari
    Yes, a mom joke!
[02:33] Karane
    No idea what she's on about.
[02:35] Karane
    Is this what a rich person's mother is like?
[02:38] Hahari
    Ahem. Anyhow.
[02:40] Hahari
    I will never allow
    your relationship with Hakari.
[02:45] Rentaro
    And I will never give up on her.
[02:49] Rentaro
    I swore to make her happy!
[02:55] Hahari
    So you're sticking to your empty words.
[03:08] Hahari
    This custom-made lie detector can
    reveal even the slightest lie without fail.
[03:14] Lie
    Vrm.
[03:15] Hahari
    Should it reveal
    how fake your "faithfulness" is,
[03:18] Hahari
    you will exit Hakari's life for good.
[03:21] Rentaro
    So you're saying I'll get to show you
    my feelings for Hakari are real.
[03:27] Rentaro
    But...
[03:28] Rentaro
    You'll first have to prove to me
    that this device is trustworthy.
[03:33] Hahari
    You have a point.
[03:38] Karane
    Wait, why me?!
[03:40] Hahari
    Using one of my own people
    wouldn't be very convincing, would it?
[03:45] Karane
    F-Fine.
[03:49] Karane
    But it's not like I'm doing it
    for you or anything, okay?
[03:52] Rentaro
    That just makes it sound like
    you wanna try out the lie detector.
[03:56] Hahari
    Well, Inda-san, here is your first question.
[03:59] Hahari
    What cup size are you?
[04:01] Karane
    Do you have a gutter in your brain?!
[04:03] Hahari
    Obviously, we have to choose questions
    we can verify on sight.
[04:08] Karane
    Yeah, but why that one?!
[04:10] Hahari
    Just hurry up and answer.
    We don't have time to play around.
[04:14] Karane
    I-I'm a B-cup. Almost a C.
[04:18] Karane
    Happy now?
[04:20] Lie
    Lies! Lies! Lies!
[04:23] Hahari
    Like I said, it reveals even the slightest lie.
[04:30] Karane
    I'm a B-cup! Just a plain ol' B.
[04:32] Lie
    Still kind of a lie.
[04:34] Karane
    I'm a B, nearly an A! You stupid robot!
[04:37] Rentaro
    Careful, it must be expensive!
[04:39] Lie
    True! True! True!
[04:42] Karane
    Hmph! See what happens when I get serious?
[04:45] Rentaro
    Uh, it's not a punching machine.
[04:48] Hahari
    All right, next question.
[04:49] Hahari
    Do you love Aijo-kun?
[04:52] Karane
    Seriously, what is with these questions?!
[04:54] Hahari
    It's a perfectly normal question for a couple.
    Why must you yell each time?
[04:58] Rentaro
    Karane's a tsundere, you see.
[05:01] Rentaro
    But that's what makes her so goshdanged cute.
[05:04] Hahari
    Nobody asked.
[05:06] Karane
    Oh, whatever. Let's just get this over with.
[05:08] Karane
    Yeah, I love him.
[05:10] Lie
    Lies! Lies!
[05:12] Karane
    Rentaro?!
[05:13] Rentaro
    This is a bad dream...
    just a minor nightmare.
[05:16] Rentaro
    Wake ublub-blub-blub...
[05:18] Karane
    He's trying to escape reality and life!
[05:21] Karane
    Don't believe this crap. Of course I...
[05:25] (Flashback) Karane
    I'm a B-cup! Just a plain ol' B.
[05:28] (Flashback) Lie
    Still kind of a lie.
[05:31] Karane
    I love him! I love him a lot!
[05:33] Lie
    Lies! Lies!
[05:36] Karane
    I-I love him heaps!
[05:38] Lie
    Lies! Lies! Lies!
[05:40] Karane
    I love the shit outta him! I love, love, 
    love him like you won't believe!
[05:43] Lie
    Lies! Lies! Lies!
[05:50] Rentaro
    I see Granny blowing kisses from
    the other side of the River Styx...
[05:55] Karane
    I love Rentaro the most
    in the whole wide world!
[06:00] Karane
    I really, really, really, really, 
    really love him!
[06:03] Lie
    True! True! True! True! Trrrrrrrrrrrrr!
[06:07] Rentaro
    Karane!
[06:08] Lie
    True! True! True!
[06:08] Karane
    How dare this stupid machine
    mess with my dignity...
[06:12] Rentaro
    Are you okay, Karane? Can you stand?
[06:17] Rentaro
    Me, too.
[06:19] Rentaro
    I also really, really, really, really, 
    really love Karane most in the world!
[06:23] Hahari
    What are you doing?!
[06:23] Lie
    True! True! True!
[06:25] Rentaro
    Sorry. I couldn't hold back
    the tidal waves of my love.
[06:29] Hahari
    This is not the time.
[06:31] Hahari
    Anyway, surely you believe
    the lie detector is trustworthy now.
[06:36] Hahari
    Then we will begin.
    We'll see how real your feelings for Hakari are.
[06:41] Hahari
    The trial to show who this pest is for all.
SIGN    Special Report
[06:47] Narrator
    As the following events play out exactly 
    as our viewers might expect,
[06:47] Sign
    °The following report will be a condensed version of the events.
[06:55] Narrator
    a condensed version will be shown.
[06:58] Rentaro
    I'll make her happy, even if it kills me!
[07:00] Rentaro
    Hakari's happiness over my life!
[07:02] Rentaro
    I will die for Hakari!
[07:04] Rentaro
    I really, really, really, really, 
    really love Hakari the most in the world!
[07:05] Lie
    True! True! True!
[07:08] Lie
    It's all too true!
[07:12] Hahari
    Impossible.
[07:13] Hahari
    How could this embodiment of
    faithfulness also be a five-timer?!
[07:17] Rentaro
    So, do you believe how much I love Hakari now?
[07:20] Hahari
    A-A lie detector is but a machine.
[07:23] Hahari
    How could I ever trust it?
[07:26] Karane
    Oh, no, you freakin' don't!
[07:28] Karane
    Not after taking my dignity
    and eating up all this runtime!
[07:32] Hahari
    Not my problem. We can skip
    the ending credits or something.
[07:36] Rentaro
    But they made a special ending
    just for this episode!
[07:39] Hahari
    Whoa, spoiler alert!
[07:42] Mei
    We have trouble, ma'am!
[07:44] Mei
    Lady Hakari's about to
    throw herself out the window!
[07:52] Karane
    Nobody move!
[07:55] Karane
    Or else this weak little neck goes snap!
[07:57] Rentaro
    Karane...
[07:59] Rentaro
    D-Do not move a finger!
[08:01] Rentaro
    Necks are like Bocky sticks to her!
    She'll actually do it!
[08:07] Karane
    Why are you the most freaked out by this?!
[08:09] Karane
    Now's your chance! Go grab that moron!
[08:13] Karane
    And run as far as you can!
[08:15] Rentaro
    But what about you?
[08:17] Karane
    Hmph.
[08:19] Karane
    You'll come back for me someday, right?
[08:22] (Flashback) Rentaro
    Could you please wait for us?
[08:23] (Flashback) Karane
    ...if we'll even see you again at all!
[08:26] (Flashback) Karane
    There's no way we can just sit around
    forever and stay in love with you!
[08:31] Karane
    You're such an idiot.
[08:34] Karane
    Of course I can wait for you forever!
[08:38] Rentaro
    Karane!
[08:39] Rentaro
    Thanks!
[08:41] Hahari
    Wait!
[08:42] Karane
    You're not going anywhere.
[08:44] Hahari
    Let me go!
[08:45] Hahari
    Hakari... I'm coming for you!
[08:47] Karane
    Hey, I really will snap your neck, okay?!
[08:49] Hahari
    Bring it on!
[08:52] Hahari
    You'll see that you don't want to
    mess with a mother's love!
[08:57] Security
    M-Ma'am.
[09:00] Karane
    If I let her go now
[09:02] Karane
    and she stops the two of them from escaping,
[09:04] Karane
    we'll never share a moment like that again!
[09:11] Karane
    This is no time to be freaking out.
[09:14] Karane
    A mother's love, my ass.
[09:17] Karane
    That's rich, when you're ignoring
    Hakari's feelings like that.
[09:19] Karane
    You're the one who'll see!
[09:21] Karane
    You don't wanna mess with a best friend's love!
[09:29] Hakari
    Don't come any closer!
[09:36] Security
    W-We can't risk agitating her.
[09:38] Security
    Everyone away from the door!
[09:42] Security
    D-Don't do it, miss!
[09:44] Kusuri
    Meow! Meow!
[09:44] Shizuka
    "You meowst live! You meowst!"
[09:45] Nano
    Mew! Mew!
[09:46] Security
    Not now, you stupid cat!
[09:49] Security
    What are you doing?!
[09:51] Rentaro
    Let me through!
[09:57] Rentaro
    It's okay now.
[09:59] Rentaro
    I'm here for you, Hakari.
[10:02] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun...
[10:05] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun?
[10:09] Rentaro
    Karane's holding Hahari-san off right now.
[10:12] Rentaro
    Nobody can stop us.
[10:14] Rentaro
    We can run away from here together.
[10:21] Hakari
    Even if we do escape,
    we'll have to be on the run forever.
[10:25] Hakari
    You'll always be shackled to Mother and me.
[10:30] Rentaro
    Hakari...
[10:31] Hakari
    I can't live with that!
[10:33] Hakari
    I can't live a life that would only
    ruin yours and make you unhappy!
[10:40] Rentaro
    Then stop what you're doing right now!
[10:44] Rentaro
    I can't imagine anything worse
    than having to live a life without you.
[10:51] Rentaro
    No matter what kind of life we live,
    as long as you're with me...
[10:57] Rentaro
    There's no way I could ever be unhappy!
[11:02] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun...
[11:05] Hakari
    That's not...
    It's not fair to say it like that!
[11:12] Rentaro
    I love you.
[11:15] Rentaro
    Now and forever.
[11:18] Rentaro
    Please stay with me for the rest of our lives.
[11:23] Hakari
    No fair...
[11:27] Hakari
    Not fair... That's just not fair!
[11:35] Hakari
    Yes... I love you, too.
[11:41] Hakari
    And I want to be with you forever.
[11:49] Rentaro
    Great. Now come back inside.
[11:52] Hakari
    Okay.
[12:03] Rentaro
    Shoot. The adrenaline wore off
    and now she's scared!
[12:07] Rentaro
    Hakari, it's okay.
[12:09] Rentaro
    Just wait there. I'm coming to you.
[12:11] Hakari
    O-Okay...
[12:35] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun...
[12:38] Rentaro
    Crap, I'm in a bad position!
[12:40] Rentaro
    I'm being dragged over!
[12:43] Hahari
    Finally made it!
[12:45] Karane
    Ugh. Hell hath no fury like a mother strong.
[12:48] Rentaro
    Hakari!
[12:51] Hakari
    Let me go, Rentaro-kun.
[12:53] Hakari
    We'll both go down...
[12:54] Rentaro
    Never!
[12:55] Rentaro
    I finally got you!
[12:57] Rentaro
    I'm never letting go of you again!
[12:59] Hahari
    Hakari!
[12:59] Karane
    Rentaro!
[13:03] Rentaro
    I will keep her safe.
[13:05] Nano
    Aijo Rentaro.
[13:05] Kusuri
    Hakari!
[13:07] Rentaro
    I will keep her safe!
[13:09] Rentaro
    I will keep her safe!
[13:28] Nano
    Grab on.
[13:38] Kusuri
    What were you thinking?
[13:47] Rentaro
    Thank goodness...
[13:49] Rentaro
    I'm so glad you're okay!
[13:54] Hahari
    Hakari!
[13:59] Hahari
    Oh, thank god...
[14:14] Karane
    You idiot!
[14:33] Kusuri
    Karane made Hakari cry.
[14:36] Kusuri
    Hit her so hard...
[14:39] Hahari
    Do you realize...
[14:42] Hahari
    If you hadn't landed in the pond,
    even you would have...
[14:46] Rentaro
    I told you, didn't I?
[14:48] Rentaro
    I'll make her happy, even if it kills me.
[14:52] Hahari
    Ah... I see now.
[14:54] (Flashback) Rentaro
    I promise to make her happy!
[14:57] (Flashback) Rentaro
    I really, really, really, really, 
    really love Hakari the most in the world!
[15:01] Hahari
    He meant all of it. Every single word.
[15:12] Hahari
    Please...
[15:15] Hahari
    Take care of Hakari.
[15:18] Rentaro
    It was all for Hakari.
[15:22] Rentaro
    Everything Hahari-san does,
    she does for Hakari.
[15:26] Hakari
    Mother...
[15:28] Rentaro
    She was willing to be hated by her
    beloved Hakari for tearing us apart.
[15:32] Rentaro
    Even if it meant sacrificing everything,
[15:35] Rentaro
    she put Hakari first and foremost.
[15:37] Rentaro
    She's so brave, and so incredibly beautiful.
[15:42] Rentaro
    But this way of life
    will only bring her sorrow.
[15:46] Rentaro
    Of course. I promise...
[15:54] Rentaro
    to make Hakari
[15:56] Rentaro
    and you happy.
[15:59] Hahari
    What?
[16:00] Rentaro
    I want you to be happy, too.
[16:04] Rentaro
    I want you to lead the life you wanted.
[16:07] Rentaro
    The life of joy you once dreamed of!
[16:13] Hahari
    R-Really?
[16:15] Hahari
    Is this... your r-r-reply
    to my asking you out earlier?!
[16:21] Rentaro
    Yes. It would be my honor to go out with you.
[16:24] Hakari
    M-M-M-Mother?!
[16:26] Hakari
    You asked Rentaro-kun out?!
[16:28] Hahari
    I mean...
[16:29] Hahari
    I mean, can you blame me?
[16:32] Hahari
    Rentaro-chan...
[16:34] Hahari
    He's just so cute!
[16:38] Rentaro
    H-Hahari-san?!
[16:40] Hahari
    What is it, my dear Rentaro-chan?
[16:40] Karane
    G-Girlfriend's mom...
[16:43] Hakari
    My literal mother...
[16:44] Kusuri
    MILF...
[16:45] Shizuka
    "Chaos and disorder."
[16:46] Nano
    Mother-Daughter Double Whopper.
[16:47] Hahari
    Oh, I know. It's rather late and all...
[16:54] Hahari
    Be sure to warm up after that pond dive.
[16:57] Hahari
    We're having a sleepover tonight, after all.
[17:00] Hakari
    A sleepover?
[17:02] Hakari
    I feel like I'm getting vertigo
    from all the ups and downs.
[17:05] Shizuka
    "I expected no less from Hakari-san's manor." 
    "The bath is as wide as an ocean."
[17:10] Karane
    A rich person's house's bath...
[17:12] Kusuri
    This bath be huge...
[17:14] Kusuri
    But mommy's milkers be huge, too.
[17:16] Hahari
    Oh, my.
[17:17] Hahari
    My dear Hakari has a matching set.
[17:18] Hakari
    M-Mother! I can't...
[17:22] Hakari
    I can't deny it!
SIGN    Booyah!
[17:24] Kusuri
    And Nano's slender
    but stacked, unlike those two.
[17:29] Hakari
    Hold it, Kusuri-senpai!
[17:31] Hahari
    What do you mean, "unlike us two"?
[17:40] Kusuri
    Kusuri's in contention, too, aye aye.
[17:44] Shizuka
    "Is this the festival of goddesses?"
SIGN    Tactical Retreat
[17:49] Karane
    Idiots, carrying those funbags into combat...
[17:53] Karane
    It'll get them killed in action.
[17:58] Rentaro
    Huh? That was quick, Karane.
[18:01] Rentaro
    Done alrea...dy?
[18:08] Karane
    Wh-Whatever.
[18:10] Karane
    I thought nothing of the bath here, is all.
[18:13] Karane
    Wait, what's wrong?
[18:15] Rentaro
    Y-Your tummy's showing.
[18:19] Karane
    I was in such a hurry, I didn't notice!
[18:23] Karane
    S-So? Why are you blushing over a little tummy?
[18:27] (Flashback) Rentaro
    Karane-chan, your cutesy clothes are starting
    to feel kinda smooth and slippery.
[18:31] Karane
    Y-Y-You... Don't tell me...
[18:33] Karane
    You're thinking back to what happened earlier?
[18:36] Karane
    Aha, I thought so!
[18:38] Karane
    You knew you were rubbing
    your face all up in my belly!
[18:41] Karane
    You just pretended
    you didn't realize! You perv!
[18:44] Rentaro
    C-Can you blame me?
    We could've fallen off otherwise!
[18:48] Rentaro
    It was all to make sure you wouldn't get hurt!
SIGN    hngh!!!
[18:53] Karane
    Shaddup, shaddup, shaddup!
    Do you have any idea how embarrassed I was?!
[18:57] Karane
    I need to get payback!
[19:00] Rentaro
    Hey, Karane?!
[19:03] Rentaro
    Karane... What do you mean, payback?
[19:10] Karane
    S-See? Embarrassing, isn't it?
[19:13] Rentaro
    This is just Christmas come early!
[19:16] Karane
    Rentaro's tummy... His warmth...
[19:19] Karane
    His solid abs!
[19:21] Rentaro
    K-Karane...
[19:24] Karane
    Rentaro...
[19:26] Kusuri
    Whew, that was a good bath, aye.
[19:32] Kusuri
    You're working out together?!
[19:34] Kusuri
    Let Kusuri join!
[19:36] Rentaro
    S-Sure! One, two, one, two!
[19:37] Karane
    What was I thinking?
[19:39] Karane
    Yeah, this house really is filled
    with those horndogs' bad vibes!
[19:43] Hakari/Hahari
    Welcome!
[19:45] Hahari
    Now, it's finally time...
[19:48] Hahari
    for the pajama party!
[19:53] Hakari
    Mother is a lover of all things cute.
[19:56] Hakari
    If she finds someone adorable,
    she has to dress them up!
[20:00] Hahari
    All right, my lovelies, get dressed!
[20:03] Hakari
    Eek! Mother, don't be so rough!
[20:06] Karane
    Hey! Stop it, you freak!
[20:08] Kusuri
    This is fine, aye!
[20:08] Hakari
    Mother!
[20:10] Hahari
    Nice, very nice!
[20:11] Shizuka
    "The force of a million troops..."
[20:14] Hahari
    You can look now, Rentaro-chan.
[20:20] Rentarohahari
    Squee!
[20:23] Rentaro
    Y-You all look amazing!
[20:26] Hahari
    It's too early for squealing.
[20:28] Rentaro
    But you were squealing, too.
[20:30] Hahari
    These two... are the icing on the cake!
[20:36] Kusuri
    Rawr, aye.
[20:39] Hakari
    Mother...
[20:41] Kusuri
    Are we that cute?
[20:43] Rentaro
    You've got the whole galaxy blushing.
[20:46] Karane
    Seriously, what's with your galaxy brain?
[20:49] Kusuri
    Well, if we're so darn cute...
[20:53] Kusuri
    We'll give you kissies.
[20:57] Rentaro
    I'm in heaven...
[20:59] Kusuri
    You're going to heaven!
[20:59] Hahari
    Shizuka-chan, Kusuri-chan!
    Give mommy a kiss, too!
[21:02] Hakari
    Down, Mother.
[21:03] Hahari
    I suppose I got a bit carried away.
[21:05] Hakari
    Mother, you've got a nosebleed.
[21:07] Hahari
    I'll get some water from the kitchen.
[21:09] Rentaro
    Let me help you there.
[21:15] Rentaro
    Are you all right?
[21:17] Hahari
    Y-Yes, sorry.
[21:21] Hahari
    I'm too old to be getting so excited.
[21:25] Rentaro
    Oh, Hahari-san's been holding back forever...
[21:32] Rentaro
    Hahari-san.
[21:35] Rentaro
    There are plenty of fun
    things in store for us.
[21:41] Hahari
    Rentaro-chan...
[21:47] Hahari
    Forgive me.
[21:50] Hahari
    I can't hold it back any more...
[21:54] Rentaro
    H-Hahari-san?
[21:56] Hahari
    Come to my room...
[22:02] Rentaro
    Hahari-san...
[22:04] Narrator
    Rentaro! You...
[22:06] Narrator
    Are you going to go from boy to man?!

E12 - The 100 Girlfriends Who Really, Really, Really, Really, REALLY Love You (94 To Go)
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Hahari
    I can't hold it back any more...
[00:04] Rentaro
    H-Hahari-san?
[00:06] Hahari
    Come to my room...
[00:17] Hahari
    Yes! That's it, Rentaro-chan!
[00:20] Rentaro
    No, Hahari-san! This is too much!
[00:25] Hahari
    Oh, this is so great!
[00:27] Hahari
    Please, Rentaro-chan!
[00:29] Hahari
    Just a bit more!
[00:31] Rentaro
    No, Hahari-san! I can't...
[00:42] Karane
    Those two sure are
    taking their time in the kitchen.
[00:46] Shizuka
    "Ya right, bossman."
[00:48] Shizuka
    "It don't take this long to draw some water."
[00:53] Hakari
    Wh-Wh-Wh-What if Mother and Rentaro-kun...
[00:58] Hakari
    are getting down and dirty?!
[01:00] Karane
    Listen, I know your mom's a horndog, but...
[01:04] Hakari
    Mother?
[01:06] Hakari
    No cutting in line, Mother!
[01:08] Kusuri
    Only Kusuri is allowed to deflower Rentaro!
[01:11] Nano
    I don't think Aijo Rentaro can be deflowered.
[01:13] Karane
    It doesn't matter! I bet she doesn't
    even know what she's talking about!
[01:18] Hakari
    Mother!
[01:20] Rentaro
    Y-You guys!
[01:27] Hahari
    You're the cutest thing
    in the world, Rentaro-chan!
[01:32] All
    Cross-dressing boyfriend!
SIGN    The Hurricane of Hngh
[01:35] Hakari
    Mother! I'm so glad I was born your daughter!
[01:38] Kusuri
    Let Kusuri call you boss!
[01:40] Karane
    You have my lifelong loyalty.
[01:42] Nano
    Your name will go down in history.
[01:44] Shizuka
    "You, and you alone, are my lord."
[01:46] Rentaro
    N-No...
[01:48] Rentaro
    They all... saw me like... like this!
[01:50] Hahari
    Oh, Rentaro-chan.
SIGN    Morgue-ified
[01:55] Karane
    Rentaro?!
[01:56] Kusuri
    From mortified to morgue-ified!
[01:57] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun!
[01:58] Shizuka
    "No, it cannot be..."
[01:59] Shizuka
    "Honey... honey!"
[02:00] Hakari
    You promised we would be together forever!
[02:04] Hahari
    N-No... Rentaro-chan...
[02:12] Hahari
    It's okay. I promise to bring him back to life.
[02:17] Hahari
    Nano-chan, help me out.
SIGN    Five Minutes Later
[02:24] Hahari
    The time has come, my lovelies.
[02:26] Hahari
    I present to you the prince who will
    awaken our sleeping beauty!
[02:35] Kusuri
    So handsome, aye.
[02:36] Shizuka
    "My knight in shining armor..."
[02:37] Kusuri
    Kissies for Kusuri, too.
[02:38] Hakari
    Of course. Only a prince's kiss could
    arouse her from her slumber.
[02:43] Rentaro
    Quit getting into the story!
[03:02] Hahari
    A divine moment, right before our eyes!
[03:04] Hakari
    Get it together, Mother. You're drooling.
[03:08] Karane
    You need to take a look in the mirror.
[03:10] Shizuka
    "I could say the same for you."
[03:12] Kusuri
    And you, Shizuka.
[03:13] Rentaro
    Nano...
[03:14] Sign
    Droolception
[03:15] Nano
    I fail to see the logic behind this.
[03:18] Rentaro
    Sheesh!
[03:19] Rentaro
    I-I'm taking a bath, too!
[03:22] Kusuri
    Sulk, sulk.
[03:24] Nano
    Cute.
[03:25] Hahari
    Hakari.
[03:26] Hahari
    Yes, Mother.
[03:30] Mei
    I have brought it.
[03:32] Hahari
    Thank you.
[03:34] Karane
    What? What are you thinking?
SIGN    Silent Video Capture
[03:37] Hakari
    What, you ask?
[03:39] Hahari
    Peeping, obviously.
[03:39] Hakari
    Peeping, of course.
[03:42] Karane
    Damn these horny Hanazonos!
[03:44] Karane
    Peeping, my ass! A-Are you stupid?!
[03:47] Kusuri
    Kusuri...
[03:49] Kusuri
    Never seen dong before!
[03:51] Kusuri
    Wanna see Rentaro's dong, aye!
[03:54] Karane
    Dong?!
[03:55] Nano
    It makes sense to observe your partner's
    body to prepare for what is to come.
[03:59] Karane
    Come?!
[04:00] Hahari
    Now, imagine which parts
    Rentaro-chan might be washing.
[04:04] Hakari
    It could be the dirty parts or the dirty parts.
[04:07] Karane
    I...
[04:07] Karane
    I just don't want wanna fall behind!
[04:09] Karane
    It's not like I'm interested
    in his body or anything, okay?!
[04:12] Haharihakari
    She's so easy. Too easy.
[04:15] Shizuka
    "Halt!"
[04:16] Shizuka
    "Do ya not care about disappointin' yer lord?!"
[04:21] Shizuka
    "Well?"
[04:25] Nano
    As long as he doesn't find out,
    in theory no one will be hurt.
[04:29] Shizuka
    "But..."
[04:30] Shizuka
    "But bossman..."
[04:31] Hahari
    This cross is too heavy
    for Shizuka-chan to bear.
[04:34] Hahari
    Hakari.
[04:35] Hakari
    Ready, Mother.
SIGN    Keep rolling, rolling, rolling!
SIGN    Keep rolling, rolling, rolling!
SIGN    Sushizuka-chan!
[04:45] Hakari
    Wait for us here, Shizuka-chan.
[04:47] Hakari
    We'll be right back with sneak—
[04:49] Hakari
    souvenirs for you!
[05:01] Rentaro
    Knowing Hakari and Hahari-san,
[05:03] Rentaro
    they might jump in trying to take
    sneak shots or wash my back.
[05:08] Rentaro
    I'd better stay wrapped in a towel.
[05:11] Rentaro
    Say no to degeneracy. Always.
[05:14] Narrator
    He knew.
[05:18] Kusuri
    All right, keep going... stop!
[05:27] Kusuri
    Can't see anything. Glass all foggy.
[05:36] Kusuri
    Crap! Think we're busted!
[05:38] Haharihakari
    Collect the agent!
[05:41] Rentaro
    No... No way...
[05:54] Rentaro
    I better wash myself and get out of here quick.
[05:59] Rentaro
    Okay.
[06:08] Shizuka
    I-It's no use. I can't free myself.
[06:12] Shizuka
    If I don't hurry...
[06:16] Rentaro
    How could I expose myself to my girlfriends?!
[06:18] Rentaro
    I am such a degenerate!
[06:21] Rentaro
    I sentence ye to a town dragging!
[06:24] Rentaro
    Ye?
[06:25] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun!
[06:26] Hakari
    How could we succumb to our lust
    and burden Rentaro-kun with guilt?!
[06:30] Hahari
    A grave sin!
[06:32] All
    I sentence ye to a town dragging!
[06:35] All
    Ye?
SIGN    Rentaro Family Grave
[06:39] Shizuka
    I don't want that!
[06:41] Shizuka
    I'm the only one who can stop it!
[06:44] Shizuka
    Come off! Come off!
[06:46] Shizuka
    Please...
[07:01] Karane
    The attic?
[07:02] Hahari
    Indeed. We have an alternate route.
[07:07] Hakari
    This leads to the bathroom.
[07:09] Kusuri
    So we peek from above.
[07:11] Nano
    With no steam, our chances of success go up.
[07:15] Mei
    I wish you all luck.
[07:23] Karane
    Better not be any mice up here.
[07:26] Hahari
    Of course not.
    My staff keeps everything spotless.
[07:32] Karane
    Mouse! On my leg!
[07:33] Hahari
    Wh-What's wrong, Karane-chan?
[07:35] Hakari
    Again, our home is completely mouse-fr—
[07:36] Hakari
    Eek?!
[07:38] Kusuri
    Wassup with you two...
[07:40] Kusuri
    Something furry be here!
[07:42] Karane
    Where? Where'd the mouse go?!
[07:45] Hakari
    N-Near my neck!
[07:46] Kusuri
    Scattering poison!
[07:49] Hahari
    Don't, Kusuri-chan! We'll all die!
[07:50] Nano
    Pi... 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288...
[07:55] Rentaro
    Gah, please no! Spare me!
[07:58] Rentaro
    I beg of you!
[08:07] Shizuka
    I must be brave. I have to save everyone.
[08:11] Shizuka
    I'll tip myself over on the count of three.
[08:15] Shizuka
    One, two...
[08:19] Shizuka
    My heart feels like it's about to explode.
[08:24] Shizuka
    I need to get in the right headspace.
[08:26] Shizuka
    Maybe not three, but thirty.
SIGN    °Soon after this, the rich person's guard dog will say, "Excuse me, could you move aside?"
SIGN    "Excuse me, could you move aside?"
SIGN    "That's a bit over the top..."
[09:04] Rentaro
    Wait...
[09:05] Rentaro
    Shizuka-chan?!
[09:09] Rentaro
    A-Are you okay? What are you doing here?
[09:23] Rentaro
    Shizuka-chan!
[09:25] Rentaro
    You need an ice pack!
[09:27] Karane
    R-Rich person's house cat!
[09:30] Karane
    You again?!
[09:31] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun?
[09:33] Rentaro
    Uh, what's going on here?
SIGN    pawoo
[09:36] Hakari
    O-Oh, we were just playing hide-and-seek.
[09:39] Hahari
    And we hid up in the ceiling.
[09:43] Nano
    It's most effective to hide in the dark.
[09:45] Kusuri
    Love hide-and-seek, aye!
[09:47] Karane
    Yeah, we were just hiding.
[09:51] Karane
    It's not like we were trying to peep
    at you in the bath or anything, okay?!
[09:57] Rentaro
    Even if I were to somehow be okay with peeping,
[10:00] Rentaro
    I would never be okay
    with you all risking injury!
[10:01] Narrator
    And so the Rated-R family and their
    merry accomplices got a good scolding.
[10:06] Narrator
    Never be a Peeping Tom, kids!
[10:09] Shizuka
    "I like giraffes."
[10:11] Shizuka
    "But I like elephants more."
[10:16] Rentaro
    Your turn, Hahari-san.
[10:18] Hahari
    O-Oh, right.
[10:21] Hahari
    S-Sorry.
[10:23] Rentaro
    Don't be.
[10:24] Karane
    Quit with the cliched romcom shtick, you two.
[10:27] Nano
    No, if anything, the rest of us
    should be romcom-ing it up more.
[10:31] Karane
    I-It's not like...
[10:32] Hahari
    Oh, please.
[10:36] Hakari
    Mother?
[10:39] Hakari
    Oh, e-excuse me.
[10:42] Hakari
    I remembered something I had to do.
[10:44] Hakari
    Don't mind me, and enjoy the rest of the game.
[10:57] Rentaro
    I came to check on Hahari-san, but...
[11:00] Rentaro
    This house is so big, I have
    no idea where she could be.
[11:05] Rentaro
    Is that incense?
[11:17] Rentaro
    Oh...
[11:19] Rentaro
    Right. I probably shouldn't disturb her.
[11:27] Rentaro
    No.
[11:31] Hahari
    R-Rentaro-chan?
[11:34] Rentaro
    May I light an incense with you?
[11:38] Rentaro
    Huh? Who's this boy?
[11:41] Rentaro
    Is that a middle schooler?
[11:44] Hahari
    The last man I loved.
[11:46] Hahari
    Hakari's father.
[11:49] Rentaro
    Huh? Father?!
[11:52] Rentaro
    Oh, sorry. I just assumed...
[12:03] Rentaro
    May I ask you something?
[12:06] Rentaro
    You said you had regrets being alone.
[12:11] Rentaro
    But I'm sure there was no shortage
    of men approaching you.
[12:15] Rentaro
    So why did you choose
    to go through life all alone?
[12:21] Hahari
    I...
[12:23] Hahari
    I don't want to talk about it.
[12:26] Rentaro
    Please tell me.
[12:28] Rentaro
    I may be just a teenager,
    but I'm also your boyfriend now.
[12:31] Rentaro
    Let me share in your burden.
[12:45] Hahari
    I...
[12:49] Hahari
    I just can't forget him!
[12:53] Hahari
    Even after he died, I've loved him deeply!
[12:59] Hahari
    I have no right to love another man!
[13:02] Hahari
    And yet, I've fallen in love with you!
[13:06] Hahari
    This is just wrong...
[13:08] Rentaro
    You don't have to forget him!
[13:11] Rentaro
    Hakari's dad and me...
[13:13] Rentaro
    Who said you can't love two people at once?!
[13:17] Rentaro
    Who ever said that loving someone means
    your love for someone else is fake?!
[13:22] Rentaro
    I don't care what anyone else thinks.
[13:24] Rentaro
    As long as it feels real to me,
[13:26] Rentaro
    your love is the real thing!
[13:31] Hahari
    As long as it feels real...
[13:34] Rentaro
    And the only way to do that
[13:36] Rentaro
    is by pouring out all the love
    in your heart and making it real.
[13:42] Rentaro
    That's all we can do.
[13:48] Rentaro
    If my love for you ever stops
    feeling real, please tell me.
[13:52] Rentaro
    In return, I promise to do the same for you.
[13:57] Rentaro
    So don't be afraid to give me your love.
[14:00] Hahari
    Rentaro-chan!
[14:02] Hahari
    I love you... I love you so much!
[14:05] Hahari
    I love you, Rentaro-chan!
[14:08] Rentaro
    I love you, too, Hahari-san.
[14:12] Hahari
    Rentaro-chan.
[14:14] Hahari
    Will you... kiss me?
[14:21] Hahari
    He said...
[14:24] (Flashback) Hakaridad
    I can't be there for you the rest
    of your life, Hahari-san.
[14:29] (Flashback) Hakaridad
    So you need to save your
    first kiss for the person
[14:34] (Flashback) Hakaridad
    who will swear never to leave you alone.
[14:38] Hahari
    And he never did...
[14:42] Hahari
    Wait, I-I'm sorry!
[14:44] Hahari
    I got too emotional!
[14:47] Hahari
    Don't mind me.
[14:49] Hahari
    Come on.
[14:50] Hahari
    Let's go back to the others.
[15:36] Karane
    Saw it coming!
[15:37] Karane
    I knew that thirsty succubus
    would try something!
[15:41] Karane
    What's she after? A kiss?
[15:43] Karane
    Or maybe even more?!
[15:45] Karane
    Whatever it is, I'm not letting you
    make the first move, okay?!
[15:50] Rentaro
    What's up, Hakari?
[15:52] Hakari
    Oh, s-sorry. Did I wake you?
[15:57] Hakari
    I just wanted to sleep next to you.
[16:02] Rentaro
    That's why you got up at this hour?
[16:04] Rentaro
    I know you must be really tired, too.
[16:07] Hakari
    I mean...
[16:09] Hakari
    I was afraid I could never be with you again.
[16:17] Rentaro
    Hakari.
[16:22] Rentaro
    It's okay. I'm right here with you.
[16:26] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun...
[16:31] Hakari
    Could you please hold me
    in your arms until morning comes?
[16:35] Rentaro
    Of course.
[16:40] Karane
    Hmph. I'll let you have this, just for tonight.
[16:52] Rentaro
    Huh? Hakari?
[16:56] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun! Smooch!
[16:59] Karane
    Rentaro... smooch...
[17:02] Rentaro
    Aww, they're so close even when half-asleep.
[17:09] Rentaro
    Might as well hit the restroom...
[17:23] Rentaro
    Are you Hakari's dad?
[17:26] Hakaridad
    Hey, Aijo Rentaro-kun.
[17:31] Hakaridad
    How dare you take my Hahari and Hakari?!
[17:35] Hakaridad
    You and I need to have a nice, long chat!
[17:38] Rentaro
    Perfect. I wanted to say
    something to you, too, Father.
[17:42] Hakaridad
    You don't get to call me Father!
[17:45] Hakaridad
    Wait, are you not scared of me?
[17:48] Hakaridad
    You were so freaked out when you
    mistook those peepers for the supernatural.
[17:54] Rentaro
    Uh, I am afraid of ghosts...
[17:57] Rentaro
    But seeing as Hakari is your daughter,
[18:00] Rentaro
    and just how much Hahari-san loves you,
[18:04] Rentaro
    I can tell you were a warm
    and kindhearted person.
[18:12] Hakaridad
    Boo.
[18:14] Hakaridad
    And here I had my "Make them happy or
    I'll curse you to death!" speech ready to go.
[18:21] Rentaro
    There's no need for that.
[18:22] Rentaro
    I'll give everything I've got to make
    the two of them happy.
[18:28] Hakaridad
    I believe it.
[18:29] Hakaridad
    I've watched over them for 16 whole years.
[18:33] Hakaridad
    Many a man flocked to the two of them,
[18:37] Hakaridad
    but none of them were as dedicated as you.
[18:41] Hakaridad
    Thank you.
[18:43] Hakaridad
    For releasing Hahari's heart
    from the shackles I've been to her.
[18:47] Rentaro
    Oh, please!
[18:49] Rentaro
    I only did what I thought I could
    to make the people I love happy.
[18:54] Hakaridad
    With you by their side,
[18:56] Hakaridad
    I may actually be able to find
    peace and pass on someday.
[19:01] Rentaro
    Father...
[19:04] Rentaro
    Let me watch over the two of them from now on.
[19:08] Rentaro
    Together with you.
[19:11] Hakaridad
    Yes.
[19:13] Hakaridad
    We'll watch over the future
    of those two girls we love so much.
[19:19] Hakaridad
    Oh, and what did you want to say to me?
[19:23] Hakaridad
    You weren't going to declare
    war over Hahari, were you?
[19:27] Rentaro
    I wanted to thank you.
[19:29] Hakaridad
    For what?
[19:31] Rentaro
    For bringing Hakari into this world.
[19:33] Rentaro
    And for bringing Hahari-san joy
    long before I was even born.
[19:38] Rentaro
    Thank you so much.
[19:41] Hakaridad
    Rentaro-kun...
[19:46] Rentaro
    Father?!
[19:48] Hakaridad
    You're such a good boy,
    I fully trust you to do right by them,
[19:53] Hakaridad
    and now my regrets about leaving
    them behind are being blown away!
[19:57] Hakaridad
    M-My time's up! I'm passing on!
[20:00] Rentaro
    No! We promised to watch over them together!
[20:04] Hakaridad
    Yeah, no, that's not happening!
[20:07] Rentaro
    Father!
[20:13] Rentaro
    Father!
[20:16] Rentaro
    Huh? What was I...
[20:20] Rentaro
    Was I asleep?
[20:21] Rentaro
    Was that a dream?
[20:23] Rentaro
    But it felt so real.
[20:28] Rentaro
    It's morning...
[20:32] Rentaro
    Man, that sure was one long day, huh?
[20:36] Rentaro
    But we got through it... together.
[20:44] Narrator
    And thus, that fairy-tale night
    came to an end...
[20:47] Hahari
    You're all leaving?
[20:50] Rentaro
    Yeah. We need to get home
    and change into our uniforms.
[20:54] Hahari
    Feel free to visit whenever you like, okay?
[20:58] Rentaro
    Sure. I promise I'll be back as soon as I can.
[21:03] Narrator
    And the lovebirds went their separate ways...
[21:08] Pa
    We will now begin this emergency assembly.
[21:11] Narrator
    ...is how it would go in any
    anime but this one.
[21:15] Hahari
    Pleased to meet you all.
[21:18] Hahari
    I'm Hanazono Hahari, and I'm the new
    chairperson of the school board.
[21:22] Hahari
    I wanted to see him so badly,
    I bought the whole school.
[21:26] Hakari
    M-M-M-M-M-M-Mothe-ther?!
[21:32] Mei
    Lady Hahari headed out to your school.
[21:35] Rentaro
    I under...stand!
[21:38] Rentaro
    Thank you... very much!
[21:40] Rentaro
    But I ran all the way to see her
    during lunch break!
[21:44] Hahari
    You really did come to see me
    as soon as you could!
[21:48] Rentaro
    So what if we just missed each other?
[21:51] Rentaro
    Run, me.
[21:53] Rentaro
    Run, Aijo Rentaro!
[21:57] Rentaro
    The girls...
[22:00] Rentaro
    They're all waiting for me!
SIGN    While Stocks Last!!
SIGN    Kariage-kun
    Teriyaki Chicken Flavor
SIGN    Girls'
    Baseball Team
[23:10] Karane
    Sheesh. Where have you been?
[23:13] Rentaro
    Yeah, they're all out here waiting for me.
[23:16] Karane
    Rentaro.
[23:18] Hakari
    Rentaro-kun!
[23:19] Shizuka
    "Rentaro" "kun."
[23:21] Nano
    Aijo Rentaro.
[23:22] Kusuri
    Rentaro!
[23:23] Hahari
    Rentaro-chan.
[23:26] Rentaro
    The girlfriends who I really, really, 
    really, really, really love...
[23:30] Rentaro
    and the girlfriends who really, really, 
    really, really, really love me!