# TEPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Laughing 'til You Cry
Diehard comedy fan Yayoi just enrolled in a private high school in Osaka's Nanba entertainment district, famed for launching iconic comedian careers. There, she teams up with her childhood friend and former comedy partner with the hopes of entering a local shopping center's comedy contest. That's when a mysterious girl calls out to them, changing the three's comedic fates forever...
# Season 1
# E1 - The Chicken Chapter
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GJWU2GN3W/the-chicken-chapter)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:04] MC**
*The Teppen Grand Prix!*
***SIGN*** The Outstanding Social Innovation Group
***SIGN*** Café Stars
***SIGN*** Okonomiyaki
**[00:06] MC**
* Hot-blooded high school students*
* from every corner of Japan*
***SIGN*** Snacks & Coffee
**[00:09] MC**
* gather to test out their*
* manzai comedy skills.*
**[00:13] MC**
*Only one group will make it to the top,*
**[00:16] MC**
* but they will all pour every ounce of their*
* youthful passion into this dream competition!*
**[00:21] MC**
* Following solos and duos, there is*
* now a trios category as well!*
**[00:27] MC**
* Use all of your strength to reach the*
* pinnacle of comedy—the Teppen!*
**[00:34] [SONG] all**
Yeah!
**[00:34] [SONG] Yomogi**
So, what's comedy?
**[00:35] [SONG] Yayoi**
Yo!
**[00:36] [SONG] Yuzu**
Tough question, for me
**[00:37] [SONG] Yayoi**
What could it be?
It's too far out to see!
**[00:38] [SONG] Yuzu & Yomogi**
Be! See!
**[00:39] [SONG] Yomogi**
Boke and tsukkomi, in the zone
**[00:39] [SONG] Yayoi**
Ye ye, in the zone!
**[00:41] [SONG] Yuzu**
We got god-tier jokes on the horizon
**[00:41] [SONG] Yayoi & Yomogi**
God! Horizon!
**[00:43] [SONG] Kana**
Wanna see us split into bunshin
**[00:43] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Yeah!
**[00:44] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Bullets!
**[00:44] [SONG] Kana**
And hear gags flying at you like bullets?
**[00:46] [SONG] Kana**
Leave it to comedy ninjas!
**[00:47] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Nin-nin!
**[00:47] [SONG] Saeka**
High society, celebrity
**[00:47] [SONG] Hikari & Mako**
High! Celebrity!
**[00:49] [SONG] Saeka**
The cleanest jokes are our priority
**[00:50] [SONG] Hikari & Mako**
Priority!
**[00:52] [SONG] Miyu**
Yeah, Akudare, making you all laugh
**[00:52] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Yeah!
**[00:53] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Ah! Ah!
**[00:54] [SONG] Miyu**
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back
**[00:54] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back!
**[00:56] [SONG] Yuina**
We. Are. The. Invaders. Yo.
**[00:57] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
Ah Invaders
**[00:58] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
That should tell you all you need to know
**[00:59] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
Need to know!
**[01:00] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Yeah!
**[01:00] [SONG] Yuzu**
Shake it up, Wai-Wai!
**[01:00] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Wai-Wai!
**[01:01] [SONG] Yomogi**
Heat up the timeline!
**[01:01] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Timeline!
**[01:02] [SONG] Yayoi**
Scramble for the win,
we won't give up our pride
**[01:04] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Pride!
**[01:05] [SONG] Yomogi**
Found a new line
**[01:05] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Oh!
**[01:05] [SONG] Yuzu**
Gonna sweep the prime time
**[01:07] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Oh!
**[01:07] [SONG] Yayoi**
Who's on top then?
**[01:08] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Gotta take the Teppen!
**[01:08] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina**
Take it to the top
**[01:10] [SONG] all call**
Doin' it for real!
**[01:11] [SONG] Kana; Saeka**
We'll show you, giving everything
we got, oh yeah
**[01:12] [SONG] all call**
Oh yeah
**[01:13] [SONG] Miyu; Yuina**
Gonna face the challenge head-on
**[01:13] [SONG] all call**
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
**[01:15] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina**
Running straight ahead
**[01:15] [SONG] all call**
Yo! Yo! Yo!
**[01:17] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai**
Take it to the top
**[01:17] [SONG] all call**
Yeah that's right!
**[01:19] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai**
It's show
**[01:20] [SONG] Yomogi**
Don't slow down to hear them
call you funny, not a day
**[01:22] [SONG] Yuzu**
You'll never reach the top that way
**[01:22] [SONG] all call**
Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh yeah!
**[01:24] [SONG] Yayoi**
You know it's true, what we say
**[01:26] [SONG] all call**
Hey!
**[01:27] [SONG] all sing**
But this isn't about us just getting a laugh
**[01:30] [SONG] all call**
Yeah! Yeah!
**[01:33] [SONG] all sing**
That's not why we're here
It's much bigger, bigger than all that
**[01:36] [SONG] all call**
All that
**[01:37] [SONG] all sing**
We want to get
**[01:37] [SONG] all call**
We want to get, yeah!
**[01:40] [SONG] all sing**
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
**[01:40] [SONG] all call**
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
**[01:45] [SONG] all sing**
Yeah if we are the ones
that are making you laugh
**[01:45] [SONG] all call**
Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye!
**[01:50] [SONG] all sing**
We gotta go so hard it'll really,
really give us that, you know?
**[01:54] [SONG] all sing**
Top of the laugh
**[01:54] [SONG] all call**
Top of the laugh Ye~ah!
**[01:57] [SONG] all sing**
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way.
We're gonna make it to the top one day!
**[01:57] [SONG] all call**
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way,
oh! We're gonna make it to the top one day!
**[02:02] [SONG] Yayoi**
Aw yeah!
***SIGN*** The Chicken Chapter
**[02:12] all three**
Hello!
**[02:14] Yayoi**
I'm Yayoi.
**[02:15] Yomogi**
I'm Yomogi.
**[02:16] Yuzu**
I'm Yuzu.
**[02:17] Yuzu**
Y!
**[02:17] Yayoi**
Y!
**[02:18] Yomogi**
Y!
**[02:18] all three**
We're Young Wai-Wai!
**[02:20] Yayoi**
Hopefully you can at least remember
our names and aura colors.
**[02:23] Yomogi**
Ain't that asking too much?
**[02:25] Yomogi**
You can't expect people
to be able to see auras.
**[02:28] Yuzu**
Yayoi, you aren't even showing yours.
**[02:30] Yomogi**
You can see them?!
**[02:32] Yayoi**
Anyway, I got into some trouble recently.
**[02:34] Yomogi & Yuzu**
What happened?
**[02:35] Yayoi**
I broke something really valuable
that belonged to a friend.
**[02:38] Yomogi & Yuzu**
Huh?
**[02:38] Yomogi**
That's serious!
**[02:44] Seiji**
Yayoi! Yomogi! Yuzu!
**[02:48] Seiji**
I know you're in there. Open the door!
***SIGN*** Young Wai-Wai
**[02:53] Seiji**
Come on! If you don't let me in,
I'll beat the door down!
***SIGN*** Manager of the Takako-so Manor
***SIGN*** Tani Seiji
**[02:56] Yuzu**
What do we do?
***SIGN*** Young Wai-Wai
Hosono Yuzu
**[02:58] Seiji**
I already told you I was coming
to clean your A/C unit!
**[03:01] Yomogi**
What *can* we do?
***SIGN*** Young Wai-Wai
Takahashi Yomogi
**[03:03] Seiji**
I've got to do the other rooms
too, so open up already!
**[03:06] Yayoi**
No! We can't right now!
**[03:08] Seiji**
Huh? Why not?
***SIGN*** Young Wai-Wai
Sakamoto Yayoi
**[03:11] Yayoi**
The crane says she can't return
the favor if you look!
**[03:13] Yayoi**
She says if you do, she'll pluck
your eyeballs out with her beak!
**[03:16] Seiji**
That's drastic, crane!
I'll fry you up like chicken!
**[03:19] Yuzu**
Wait, I can ex-crane! Crane-a-doodle-doo!
**[03:22] Yomogi**
Is that your idea of a crane call?
**[03:25] Seiji**
Hmph. Fine, then.
**[03:27] Seiji**
I'll do the other rooms first.
**[03:29] Seiji**
But if you don't open up when I come back,
I'll make you do 100 upright rows.
**[03:34] Yomogi**
He doesn't understand the
weight of our crime.
**[03:35] all three**
Phew!
**[03:36] Yayoi**
That worked for now.
**[03:37] Yuzu**
But he'll be back soon. What do we do?
**[03:40] Yayoi**
We have to fix it!
**[03:41] Yomogi**
I know, but I looked everywhere
and can't find the head.
**[03:44] Yayoi**
Then let's find a replacement
that will fool him.
**[03:46] Yomogi**
A replacement?
**[03:49] Yomogi**
That ain't fooling anyone!
**[03:51] Yayoi**
We can say the human head deteriorated
and turned into a bird.
**[03:54] Yayoi**
Might be our only chance.
**[03:55] Yomogi**
If statue heads deteriorated
into birds like that,
**[03:57] Yomogi**
then every statue of a high school principal
in Japan would have a bird head!
**[04:01] Yuzu**
Then how about this?
**[04:03] Yuzu**
If we take it this far, maybe we can
just say it spontaneously evolved.
**[04:07] Yomogi**
No way, no way, no way, no way!
**[04:08] Yomogi**
Now it looks like some
kind of lonely monster.
**[04:10] Yomogi**
A homunculus created by a mad scientist!
**[04:13] Yayoi**
That's it! If it's a cyborg created by a
mad scientist, then we're just its victims!
**[04:18] Yomogi**
No way! We're in Osaka!
**[04:20] Yayoi**
So what?
***SIGN*** Tokyo
**[04:21] Yomogi**
Have you forgotten the history of tokusatsu?
**[04:24] Yomogi**
The mad scientist always only attacks Tokyo!
**[04:26] Yomogi**
He always ignores Osaka.
**[04:28] Mad Scientist**
Osaka? Nah, I'm good.
**[04:30] Yuzu & Yayoi**
That's kind of sad.
***SIGN*** Akudare Kingdom
**[04:35] Seiji**
My, are they out?
**[04:37] Seiji**
Oh dear...
***SIGN*** Fruit
***SIGN*** Meat
***SIGN*** Alcohol
***SIGN*** Expert Supermarket
***SIGN*** Members of the General Public Very Welcome
**[04:42] Misao**
The A/C unit? Oh, yeah, totally fine.
Go ahead and let yourself in.
***SIGN*** Akudare Kingdom
Ushiku Misao
**[04:47] Miyu**
But why?!
**[04:49] Misao**
Ah, we're out shopping.
**[04:51] Miyu**
This ain't acceptable!
**[04:51] Misao**
We should be back by dinner, though.
**[04:54] Miyu**
Why ain't you selling shoboro
natto around here?
***SIGN*** Akudare Kingdom
Komatsuzaki Miyu
**[04:57] Employee**
I don't know what to tell you...
**[04:59] Miyu**
I went to all of the other stores, too!
**[05:02] Hina**
It's soul food from way out
in the boonies of Ibaraki.
***SIGN*** Akudare Kingdom
Kasama Hina
**[05:06] Hina**
Of course they don't have it.
**[05:08] Miyu**
It don't make sense!
**[05:09] Miyu**
I always thought shoboro
natto was our national dish.
**[05:12] Miyu**
How could anyone not appreciate the perfect
union of natto beans and dried daikon strips?
**[05:17] Hina**
Well, they say folks in Kansai
don't eat natto anyway.
**[05:20] Misao**
It's unbelievable.
**[05:21] Miyu**
I got it!
**[05:22] Misao**
Got what?
**[05:23] Miyo**
I'll eradicate all the places in the
country that don't have shoboro natto!
**[05:28] Miyo**
To accomplish this, Ibaraki
should conquer Japan!
**[05:31] Misao**
Did it ever cross your mind
to just make it yourself?
**[05:34] Hina**
That ain't gonna work!
**[05:36] Hina**
If someone catches us making shoboro natto,
**[05:39] Hina**
they'll come yelling, "They're from Ibaraki!"
And they'll skewer us on bamboo spears.
**[05:43] Soldiers**
Ibaraki jerks, go home!
**[05:47] Misao**
Not a chance! Folks from Ibaraki
ain't that oppressed!
**[05:50] Miyu**
Yeah! I just want to share shoboro
natto with the others in the dorm!
**[05:54] Hina**
Ya can't! I'm tellin' ya,
they'll skewer you with spears!
**[05:57] Misao**
Why are bamboo spears all you think about?
**[05:59] Miyu**
Don't worry about it!
**[06:00] Miyu**
As citizens of Ibaraki, Suke-san and
Kaku-san will have our back!
**[06:03] Misao**
Leave Ibaraki's strongest warriors
out of this stupid battle!
***SIGN*** Bullet Kunoichi
**[06:09] Kana**
I don't wanna!
**[06:10] Chitose**
Hold it!
**[06:12] Chitose**
Don't be so selfish! We're going!
**[06:14] Kana**
No, I don't wanna!
**[06:15] Seiji**
Ouch.
**[06:17] Seiji**
Oh my, what fabulous calves.
**[06:20] Iroha**
Oh, hi, Manager!
***SIGN*** Bullet Kunoichi
Akishika Iroha
**[06:22] Iroha**
Your biceps are looking ripped today!
**[06:24] Seiji**
Thank you!
**[06:25] Seiji**
But you guys remember there's
no fighting in the dorm, right?
**[06:29] Chitose**
Yeah, but Kana keeps talkin' nonsense.
***SIGN*** Invaders
***SIGN*** Bullet Kunoichi
Amano Chitose
**[06:32] Kana**
I just don't wanna practice
our routine at the station!
***SIGN*** Bullet Kunoichi
Kiyotsuru Kana
**[06:35] Iroha**
Chitose thought it'd be better
to practice in front of people
**[06:39] Iroha**
because that's more like a real show.
**[06:40] Seiji**
Do you have a good reason not to?
**[06:42] Seiji**
You can tell me. I promise I won't get mad.
**[06:44] Kana**
Really?
**[06:45] Seiji**
Really.
**[06:45] Kana**
I'm, like, so cute, right?
**[06:47] Seiji**
My bad. I'm about to lose it.
**[06:49] Kana**
If we practice at the station, lots and lots of
people will crowd around to see me, right?
**[06:54] Kana**
Maybe at a scale of tens or
hundreds of thousands.
**[06:58] Kana**
What in the world will I do if they start
worshiping me or something?
**[07:02] Chitose**
Who the heck cares? Just be
a god or something, then.
**[07:04] Kana**
Hey! Is that any way to talk to a god?
**[07:07] Chitose**
Back to the starting line, girl!
You ain't a god yet!
**[07:10] Seiji**
Do you mind if I start cleaning the A/C unit?
**[07:13] Iroha**
Go right ahead.
**[07:15] Yayoi**
I tried all sorts of things,
but nothing worked.
**[07:18] Yomogi**
No kidding.
**[07:19] Yuzu**
We've gone so far, I don't even remember
what we were aiming for in the first place.
**[07:23] Yomogi**
No kidding.
**[07:24] Yayoi**
At this point, we'll just
have to flat-out apologize.
**[07:27] Yayoi**
Don't worry about it, Yomogi!
**[07:29] Yayoi**
I'll go with you to apologize!
**[07:30] Yomogi**
Huh? Why are you trying
to pin the blame on me?
**[07:35] Yayoi**
You know what? I actually saw it.
**[07:38] Yomogi**
Huh?
**[07:39] Yuzu**
Saw it? Saw what?
**[07:41] Yayoi**
It was right around when I moved to Osaka.
**[07:45] Yomogi**
Hold on! This isn't about the trophy?
**[07:46] Yomogi**
How far are you flashing back, anyway?
***SIGN*** Kagetsu High School
**[07:49] Yuzu**
Let's just listen to Yayoi's story for now.
**[07:52] (Flashback) Teacher**
Well then, who's next?
**[07:53] (Flashback) Yayoi**
That's me!
**[07:54] (Flashback) Yayoi**
My name is Sakamoto Yayoi! I love comedy!
**[07:57] (Flashback) Yayoi**
I always wanted to live in Namba,
**[08:00] (Flashback) Yayoi**
so I took the Kagetsu High School
entrance exam in Kyoto.
**[08:02] (Flashback) Yayoi**
I'm very glad to meet you!
**[08:07] (Flashback) Yayoi**
Wow, this stage brings back memories!
**[08:17] (Flashback) Yomogi**
Yayoi?
**[08:18] (Flashback) Yayoi**
Yomogi?!
**[08:19] Yomogi**
It wasn't some battlefield
reunion like that!
**[08:21] Yayoi**
Oh? It wasn't?
**[08:23] Yayoi**
I guess my memory's all mixed up.
**[08:27] (Flashback) Yayoi**
Hey, do you remember when we
performed manzai on this stage?
**[08:31] (Flashback) Yomogi**
We had so much fun in Konamons.
**[08:34] (Flashback) Yayoi**
Hey, wanna do one for old time's sake?
**[08:37] (Flashback) Yomogi**
Yeah.
**[08:38] (Flashback) Yayoi & Yomogi**
Hello! We're the Konamons!
**[08:42] (Flashback) Yayoi**
Standing here again makes me remember...
**[08:47] (Flashback) Yayoi**
how exciting it all was back then.
**[08:52] (Flashback) Yomogi**
Oh, give me a break!
**[08:54] (Flashback) Yayoi & Yomogi**
Thank you very much!
**[09:02] (Flashback) Yuzu**
Y'all so funny!
**[09:04] (Flashback) Yomogi**
Huh?
**[09:05] (Flashback) Yayoi**
Who?
**[09:07] (Flashback) Yuzu**
You two'll reach the top, no question!
**[09:11] Yomogi**
It was such a surprise when
Yuzu started talking to us.
**[09:15] Yuzu**
Tee hee hee!
**[09:16] Yayoi**
Yeah, Yuzu's the one who told us
to aim for the Teppen Grand Prix.
**[09:19] Yayoi**
And we got together right when
they started the trios category.
**[09:24] Yayoi**
It really was destiny!
**[09:26] Yomogi**
Sure was.
**[09:27] Yuzu**
Yup.
**[09:29] Yomogi**
What happened to the story about the trophy?
**[09:31] Yayoi & Yuzu**
Ahh!
***SIGN*** Celebri-Tea
**[09:34] Seiji**
Huh?
**[09:36] Seiji**
Who in the world gold-plated the door?
**[09:38] Seiji**
Huh?
**[09:39] Seiji**
What is this?
**[09:41] Seiji**
What is going on?
**[09:43] Seiji**
Another door.
**[09:54] Saeka**
Oh, hello, Manager. I hope you've been well.
**[09:56] Saeka**
Would you like to join us for tea?
**[09:58] Seiji**
What in the world is this?
**[10:01] Saeka**
Isn't it lovely?
**[10:02] Saeka**
We were a little cramped,
so we took the liberty of remodeling.
***SIGN*** Celebri-Tea
Yabukita Saeka
**[10:06] Seiji**
Who said you could build a castle here?!
**[10:09] Saeka**
Oh, dear. Is that not allowed?
**[10:10] Seiji**
Of course it isn't!
**[10:12] Seiji**
The only expansion I want is a gym!
**[10:14] Seiji**
The only addition I want is a Smith machine!
**[10:15] Seiji**
Do you under-muscle-stand?
**[10:17] Hikari**
I knew it would be a problem.
**[10:20] Hikari**
I told you so, Saeka.
***SIGN*** Celebri-Tea
Jogasaki Hikari
**[10:22] Hikari**
Our lifestyle is simply too
dazzling for commoners.
**[10:26] Mako**
Th-That's right.
***SIGN*** Celebri-Tea
Shirakabe Mako
**[10:28] Mako**
You need to ease the lower classes
into it with a sprinkle of gold leaf.
**[10:30] Saeka**
Oh, is that right?
**[10:36] Seiji**
What do you think you're doing?
**[10:37] Seiji**
I'm into body building, not body *gilding*!
**[10:40] Saeka**
Oh, I apologize.
**[10:41] Mako**
Sorry, that's because of what I said.
**[10:44] Mako**
I'll take the gold leaf off.
**[10:47] Mako**
* It's pure gold.*
* She really lives that celebrity life!*
**[10:50] Mako**
*If I get the flakes off, I can sell them!*
**[10:52] Mako**
*So to do that...*
**[10:53] Mako**
Manager, in order to get the
gold off without damaging it,
**[10:56] Mako**
would you mind if I peeled off
about three millimeters of your skin?
**[10:59] Seiji**
How can you say something so
scary with such a straight face?
**[11:04] Seiji**
And now what's this? What
happened to the door?
***SIGN*** Invaders
**[11:07] all three**
Ventla, ventla, space people.
**[11:10] all three**
Ventla, ventla, space people.
**[11:13] Yuina**
Hey, is this really the
way to call for a UFO?
***SIGN*** Invaders
Rokkatei Yuina
**[11:16] Mone**
You better believe it.
I read about it on the internet.
***SIGN*** Invaders
Ishiya Mone
**[11:19] Mone**
"When you make a wish to space,
a dimensional door shall be opened unto you."
**[11:23] Yuina**
But a dimensional door, not
a physical one like this?
**[11:26] Mone**
Yuina, talk less. Concentrate more.
**[11:29] Chihori**
I really think we should call it off.
***SIGN*** Invaders
Hokuto Chihori
**[11:32] Chihori**
I don't want to bother them.
**[11:34] Chihori**
I mean, it's nap time right now on Mars.
**[11:36] Yuina**
Huh? Martians take naps?
**[11:39] Chihori**
Yeah, and if you wake them up,
they throw the remote control at you.
**[11:42] Yuina**
Martians throw remote controls, too?
**[11:44] Chihori**
What are we gonna say if they show up?
**[11:48] Mone**
What are we gonna say?
**[11:49] Chihori**
I mean, if we call them,
they'll assume we had a reason.
**[11:52] Chihori**
If we tell them it was for nothing,
they'll probably get mad.
**[11:56] Yuina**
You're right.
**[11:56] Chihori**
If someone called me over for
no reason, I'd get mad, too.
**[12:00] Mone**
But what about the guys on TV who
say they're always calling aliens?
**[12:04] Mone**
I bet they don't have any
reason to call them, either.
**[12:07] Chihori**
That's why the aliens have
recently been passing around
**[12:11] Chihori**
a blacklist of all the people
who call them for no reason.
**[12:14] Yuina**
Chihori, you sure know a lot about aliens.
**[12:16] Chihori**
Huh? N-No way! This is just common knowledge.
**[12:20] Seiji**
Hey, you girls.
**[12:21] all three**
Huh?!
**[12:22] Seiji**
What are you doing up here?
**[12:24] Yuina**
N-Nothing at all.
**[12:25] Mone**
Yeah, just corresponding with space.
**[12:28] Seiji**
Oh, yeah? That's fine, then.
**[12:30] Chihori**
Ah...
**[12:31] Seiji**
The hell it is!
**[12:32] Seiji**
You can't take the door off its
hinges without permission!
**[12:34] Yuina & Mone**
We're sorry.
**[12:36] Chihori**
No! You can't come! Go away!
**[12:38] Seiji**
You guys are supposed
to be the aliens, anyway.
**[12:40] Seiji**
What are you calling other aliens for?
**[12:42] Chihori**
Sorry! We didn't have a reason.
We just wanted to try!
**[12:45] Yuina**
I told you there's no way
any aliens would show!
**[12:48] Mone**
How are you gonna know if you don't try?
**[12:50] Chihori**
Mm-hmm. See ya.
**[12:52] Yuina**
What's up, Chihori?
**[12:53] Chihori**
Huh? Oh n-n-nothing, really!
**[12:55] Yuina**
Weren't you just talking to someone?
**[12:57] Chihori**
You're hearing things!
**[12:58] Seiji**
All right, let's go back and fix the door.
**[13:01] all three**
Okay!
**[13:02] Seiji**
Sheesh, giving me so much work to do.
**[13:04] Mone**
Aw, I guess the UFO didn't come after all.
***SIGN*** Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
***SIGN*** Young Wai-Wai
***SIGN*** Teppen Grand Prix
**[13:15] Yayoi**
After forming Young Wai-Wai,
**[13:18] Yayoi**
we won the local qualifier
for the Teppen Grand Prix.
**[13:21] Yomogi**
Wait, we're still in a flashback?
**[13:23] Yuzu**
L-Let's keep listening.
**[13:24] Yayoi**
We were summoned to the Takako-so
Manor before the nationals started.
**[13:29] (Flashback) Yomogi**
Yayoi, hurry up.
**[13:31] (Flashback) Yayoi**
Sorry!
**[13:34] (Flashback) Yuzu**
So today, we start living here at Takako-so!
**[13:38] (Flashback) Yayoi**
I'm so excited.
**[13:39] (Flashback) Yomogi**
Yeah.
**[13:40] (Flashback) Seiji**
Welcome.
**[13:44] (Flashback) Seiji**
I've been waiting for you.
**[13:46] (Flashback) all three**
Eek!
**[13:47] (Flashback) Yayoi**
Begone, evil spirit!
**[13:49] (Flashback) Seiji**
I'm a human! Homo sapiens!
**[13:52] (Flashback) Yayoi**
I didn't realize you were the building manager.
**[13:54] (Flashback) Yayoi**
I was sure you were some evil spirit that
existed outside of the human realm.
**[13:58] (Flashback) Seiji**
The name's Seiji.
**[14:00] (Flashback) Seiji**
Just think of me as the pretty-boy
manager here at Takako-so.
**[14:04] (Flashback) Seiji**
The founders of the Teppen Committee
**[14:05] (Flashback) Seiji**
lived here at Takako-so when
they were just starting out.
**[14:08] (Flashback) Seiji**
This apartment building has quite a history.
**[14:10] (Flashback) Seiji**
The first floor has the cafeteria,
baths, and manager's office.
**[14:13] (Flashback) Seiji**
The second floor has rooms
for each of the five groups.
**[14:17] (Flashback) Seiji**
And here's the cafeteria.
**[14:19] (Flashback) three girls**
Wow!
**[14:20] (Flashback) Seiji**
We also use this room as a theater.
**[14:23] (Flashback) Seiji**
I know you've heard already,
**[14:25] (Flashback) Seiji**
but teams that pass the local qualifiers
get to live with the other teams
**[14:29] (Flashback) Seiji**
at Teppen Committee
dormitories across the country.
**[14:31] (Flashback) Seiji**
The Takako-so here hosts
five teams, including you.
**[14:35] (Flashback) Seiji**
You'll take turns testing your material on
this stage in front of local stand-up fans.
**[14:42] (Flashback) Seiji**
If the audience isn't satisfied with you,
**[14:45] (Flashback) Seiji**
you'll be expelled from
the dorm immediately.
**[14:47] (Flashback) Yuzu**
You mean we'll be kicked out?
**[14:49] (Flashback) Seiji**
Yes.
**[14:50] (Flashback) Seiji**
Basically, the final qualifier is to
keep living here until the end.
**[14:56] (Flashback) Yayoi**
That sounds so fun!
**[14:58] (Flashback) Yomogi**
Yayoi?
**[14:58] (Flashback) Yayoi**
I mean, we get to live with comedy
trios from around the country
**[15:02] (Flashback) Yayoi**
and even perform routines
in front of an audience?
**[15:04] (Flashback) Yayoi**
It's the perfect environment!
**[15:06] (Flashback) Seiji**
Heh. I like that positive attitude.
**[15:09] (Flashback) Yayoi**
Oh, oh! I have a question!
**[15:11] (Flashback) Yayoi**
Why is the dorm named "Takako-so"?
**[15:14] (Flashback) Seiji**
There was already a Tokiwa-so,
so why not have a Takako-so, too?
**[15:17] (Flashback) Yayoi**
Aha!
**[15:18] (Flashback) Yomogi**
That made sense to you?
**[15:20] (Flashback) Seiji**
Next, I'll show you the
room you'll be living in.
**[15:23] (Flashback) Yuzu**
Oh?
**[15:24] (Flashback) Yuzu**
What are all those?
**[15:26] (Flashback) Seiji**
Oh, those?
**[15:27] (Flashback) Seiji**
Along with managing here, I'm also
a bodybuilder. Those are my trophies.
**[15:32] (Flashback) three girls**
Wow!
**[15:33] (Flashback) Yayoi**
That's so cool!
**[15:34] (Flashback) Yayoi**
A bunch of them say "first place"!
That one! And that one, too!
**[15:38] (Flashback) Seiji**
That's the one I'm most proud of.
**[15:40] (Flashback) Seiji**
Right there.
**[15:41] (Flashback) Seiji**
I got it when I was still an amateur.
**[15:43] (Flashback) Seiji**
It was the first time I won a competition.
**[15:46] (Flashback) Yayoi**
Huh.
**[15:47] (Flashback) Yayoi**
Oh. Yomogi?
**[15:50] Yayoi**
I still can't forget the
way Yomogi looked then.
**[15:53] Yayoi**
Her eyes were those of a
hunter locked on their prey.
**[15:57] Yomogi**
* Bwahaha! Someday, I'll take the*
* head of that trophy for myself!*
**[16:02] Yomogi**
Oh, come on!
**[16:04] Yayoi**
What's the problem now?
**[16:05] Yayoi**
Right when I was getting
to the main plot, too.
**[16:07] Yomogi**
It's a huge problem! You're making
me sound like a criminal!
**[16:12] Yayoi**
Huh? Then why were you staring
at the trophy like that?
**[16:16] Yomogi**
Well, that's because...
**[16:19] Yomogi**
You know my little sisters, right?
**[16:21] Yuzu**
Rine-chan and Miki-chan!
**[16:23] Yayoi**
They just visited us.
**[16:25] Yuzu**
That was a fun takoyaki party!
**[16:26] Yomogi**
The girls love playing with dolls,
**[16:30] Yomogi**
and they'll use any figure that's
the right size in their games.
**[16:33] (Flashback) Rine**
Welcome back, darling.
**[16:35] (Flashback) Miki**
I'm home.
**[16:36] (Flashback) Rine**
Would you like your bath?
Or would you like dinner?
**[16:39] (Flashback) Miki**
I just found out I gotta take a business
trip to Tokyo, so I'm going out again.
**[16:45] (Flashback) Miki**
See you later!
**[16:46] (Flashback) Rine**
Come back soon!
**[16:47] (Flashback) Yomogi**
Looks like a unique business trip.
**[16:50] Yomogi**
The trophies were just the right size, too,
**[16:53] Yomogi**
so if my sisters saw them,
I'm sure they'd try to play with them.
**[16:56] Yomogi**
That's what I was thinking.
**[16:57] Yayoi**
Oh, was that it? I felt so sure...
**[17:00] Yomogi**
Quit trying to make me look bad!
**[17:02] Yuzu**
After that, Yayoi and I went
to send the girls home.
**[17:07] Yomogi**
I cleaned up after the party
and took out the trash.
**[17:10] three girls**
Huh?!
**[17:12] Yuzu**
When we got back, the trophy
was sitting on the table.
**[17:14] three girls**
What?!
**[17:15] Yayoi**
Isn't this the manager's favorite trophy?
**[17:18] Yayoi**
Where's its head?
**[17:19] Yuzu**
What happened?
***SIGN*** Young Wai-Wai
**[17:25] Seiji**
Young Wai-Wai, are you there?
**[17:29] three girls**
What do we do?
**[17:31] Yayoi**
Ugh, and we're supposed to
perform our routine tomorrow.
**[17:34] Yomogi**
Our skit isn't even ready, and now
we're tied up with this, too!
**[17:37] Yuzu**
At this rate, we might be
blamed and kicked out!
**[17:42] Yayoi**
Ugh. I'm so hungry.
**[17:44] Yuzu**
Right after our takoyaki party?
**[17:46] Yayoi**
Hey, Yomogi, what happened
to the leftover takoyaki stuff?
**[17:50] Yomogi**
Oh, that? I screwed it up,
so I threw it all out.
**[17:54] Yuzu**
Screwed it up? Even though your
family runs a takoyaki shop?
**[17:57] Yomogi**
When you were taking my sisters back,
**[17:59] Yomogi**
I wanted to use up the batter,
so I started making more.
**[18:02] Yomogi**
I tasted one, and...
**[18:04] Yomogi**
For some reason, it was super tough.
**[18:07] Yomogi**
I've never messed up that bad.
**[18:09] Yayoi**
No worries! Sometimes, an
octopus shoots squid ink, too!
**[18:12] Yomogi**
You're not helping!
**[18:15] Yomogi**
By the way, Yayoi, I've been wondering...
**[18:18] Yayoi**
Huh?
**[18:19] Yomogi**
What happened to your forehead?
**[18:21] Yayoi**
Oh, that?
**[18:22] Yayoi**
When your sisters were visiting,
**[18:24] Yayoi**
the manager asked me to help
him carry some things in.
**[18:27] Yomogi**
Oh right, just for a little bit.
**[18:29] Yayoi**
Then, when I got back to the room first,
**[18:32] Yayoi**
the floor was covered with toys.
**[18:37] Yayoi**
I tripped on one and fell.
**[18:39] Yuzu**
When I got there after you,
I found you on the ground.
**[18:44] Yuzu**
It sure surprised me!
**[18:45] Yayoi**
Aaah!
**[18:46] Yuzu**
What's wrong?
**[18:47] Yayoi**
Don't yell so loud!
You scared the heck out of me!
**[18:50] Yayoi**
Right then, right when I face-planted,
**[18:53] Yayoi**
I thought I saw a shining
face smiling at me.
**[18:55] Yayoi**
I thought it was an angel from
heaven coming to take me away.
**[18:58] Yomogi**
Hold on. Do you think
that could have been...
**[19:00] Yuzu**
Hey, didn't you say that your sisters
take things that are the same size
**[19:04] Yuzu**
as their dolls and play house with them?
**[19:07] Yomogi**
Yeah.
**[19:07] Yuzu**
If the two of them went into the hallway and
took the trophy when we weren't looking,
**[19:13] Yuzu**
played with it, and left it behind
when they went outside...
**[19:17] Yuzu**
Then when Yayoi came back...
**[19:26] Yayoi**
Oh no! I was the culprit all along!
**[19:28] Yomogi**
Hold on a second. If you were the culprit,
then where did the trophy go?
**[19:33] Yuzu**
We didn't find it until the girls went home.
**[19:36] Yayoi**
That's right.
**[19:37] three girls**
Oh.
**[19:39] three girls**
Ah.
**[19:40] Yomogi**
It must've gotten stuck up there, and then
fell back down while we were gone.
**[19:48] three girls**
Huh? What?!
**[19:50] Yomogi**
Now we know why the body suddenly appeared,
**[19:52] Yomogi**
but we still don't know where the head is!
**[19:54] Yuzu**
I didn't see it when I cleaned up the toys.
**[19:57] Yayoi**
I did hit my head pretty hard.
**[20:00] Yomogi**
If the head flew off,
where could it have landed?
**[20:03] Yomogi**
Oh! The takoyaki batter!
**[20:06] Yayoi**
No way!
**[20:08] Yuzu**
Does that mean your messed-up,
tough takoyaki...
**[20:13] Yuzu**
What did you do with it?
**[20:14] Yomogi**
I spit it out and tossed it in the trash.
**[20:17] Yayoi**
Where's the trash bag?
**[20:18] Yomogi**
I just took it out!
**[20:24] Yayoi**
Oh! A crow!
**[20:26] three girls**
The head!
**[20:31] three girls**
Aaah!
**[20:34] Yayoi**
And swoosh! It just flew off.
**[20:38] Yomogi**
That's crazy!
**[20:39] Yuzu**
What happened next?
**[20:40] Yayoi**
Well, it was all the crow's fault anyway,
**[20:42] Yayoi**
so I treated the manager to a bunch
of fried chicken, and he forgave me.
**[20:45] Yomogi**
Oh, give me a break.
I think I'll call it here.
**[20:47] three girls**
Thank you very much!
**[20:53] Seiji**
Hmph. But just this once!
**[21:03] Yayoi**
All right, in honor of Young Wai-Wai
successfully testing out a routine,
**[21:08] Yayoi**
cheers!
**[21:09] everyone**
Cheers!
**[21:16] Yayoi**
This is the okonomiyaki from my
uncle's shop. It's really good!
**[21:21] Yomogi**
We finished our routine in time,
and now we can relax a little.
**[21:24] Miyu**
It was hilarious! How'd ya come up with it?
**[21:28] Yomogi**
Come up with it? It's kind of a true story...
**[21:32] Kana**
It was that high quality, and it
was non-fiction? That's insane!
**[21:36] Saeka**
Well, this is a little dull.
Do we have another one in gold?
**[21:40] Chitose**
Are you nuts?
**[21:41] Yuina**
It's fluffy and delicious!
**[21:43] Chihori**
It tastes like the fields of Jupiter.
Sure brings back memories!
**[21:46] Yuina & Mone**
Huh?
**[21:47] Yuzu**
I still wonder what happened
to the trophy's head.
**[21:50] Yayoi**
Yeah. Where did it end up?
**[21:53] Yomogi**
Oh well. It's all good.
**[22:04] [SONG] Lead**
Go! We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
**[22:09] [SONG] back**
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
**[22:16] [SONG] lead**
Hi! Hi! Hello! Let's get
on with the show today.
**[22:19] [SONG] lead**
We've just got four minutes, but we
hope you hear everything that we say.
**[22:22] [SONG] back**
Hey there cutie, hey there cutie,
didn't even miss a beat there, cutie.
**[22:24] [SONG] lead**
We hope you enjoy the show today.
**[22:27] [SONG] lead**
Here at home with you, in your living room,
we'll put a twinkle into your eyes.
**[22:33] [SONG] lead**
We've all dreamed to see if we could be
on a stage so free. Now it's a reality!
**[22:42] [SONG] lead**
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
**[22:45] [SONG] lead**
It's all good when we're laughing together.
**[22:48] [SONG] lead**
If we bomb, slip, even if we cry,
so what! That's still part of our destiny.
**[22:53] [SONG] lead**
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
**[22:56] [SONG] lead**
We'll hit it big if we
keep laughing together.
**[22:59] [SONG] lead**
We never knew that life
could ever be like this,
**[23:02] [SONG] lead**
and now that we're going, you know
there's no way we'll ever stop!
**[23:05] [SONG] lead**
We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
**[23:09] [SONG] back**
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
**[23:10] [SONG] lead**
All of our searching, all of our
training is fading out into the past.
**[23:16] [SONG] lead**
But to us now, those memories
will always be so precious.
**[23:22] [SONG] lead**
All of the tears, all of the pain,
rewriting life with our own words.
**[23:27] [SONG] lead**
We want to laugh it all away with you,
right up to the end. And that's a wrap!
***SIGN*** The Cattle Chapter
# E2 - The Cattle Chapter
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GN7UD9XQX/the-cattle-chapter)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:04] all three**
Hello!
**[00:05] Yayoi**
I'm Yayoi.
**[00:07] Yomogi**
I'm Yomogi.
**[00:08] Yuzu**
I'm Yuzu.
**[00:09] Yuzu**
Y!
**[00:10] Yayoi**
Y!
**[00:10] Yomogi**
Y!
**[00:11] all three**
We're Young Wai-Wai!
**[00:12] Yayoi**
You know, I think I've
been pretty lazy recently,
**[00:15] Yayoi**
so I decided to write up a
proper schedule for myself.
**[00:17] Yomogi**
Oh, nice idea.
**[00:18] Yayoi**
Twenty-four hours for me is like...
**[00:38] Yuzu**
Morning!
**[00:39] Yayoi**
Morning.
**[00:41] Yomogi**
I'm home.
**[00:42] Yuzu**
Welcome back.
**[00:44] Yayoi**
Good morning, Yomogine.
**[00:45] Yomogi**
Who are you calling Yomogine?
**[00:47] Yomogi**
When did I become a
naturalized French citizen?
**[00:49] Yayoi**
Still early, and you're already in peak form.
**[00:53] Yomogi**
Anyway, I found this on the
floor by the front door.
***SIGN*** Fulfill Your Greatest Wishes
**[00:57] Yayoi**
A Watson?
**[00:58] Yomogi**
An *ema*!
**[00:58] Yuzu**
A wishing plaque? Seiji-san did
say there was a shrine nearby...
**[01:01] Yayoi**
I wonder if someone in the dorm wrote it.
**[01:04] Yuzu**
I don't know what it says,
but I hope the wish comes true.
**[01:07] Yayoi**
Yeah.
**[01:08] Yomogi**
Tonight, eight o'clock, head
of state, assassination.
***SIGN*** tonight 8 o'clock head of state assassination
**[01:14] all three**
I hope this one *doesn't* come true!
**[01:17] [SONG] all**
Yeah!
**[01:17] [SONG] Yomogi**
So, what's comedy?
**[01:18] [SONG] Yayoi**
Yo!
**[01:18] [SONG] Yuzu**
Tough question, for me
**[01:19] [SONG] Yayoi**
What could it be?
It's too far out to see!
**[01:21] [SONG] Yuzu & Yomogi**
Be! See!
**[01:22] [SONG] Yomogi**
Boke and tsukkomi, in the zone
**[01:22] [SONG] Yayoi**
Ye ye, in the zone!
**[01:23] [SONG] Yuzu**
We got god-tier jokes on the horizon
**[01:24] [SONG] Yayoi & Yomogi**
God! Horizon!
**[01:26] [SONG] Kana**
Wanna see us split into bunshin
**[01:26] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Yeah!
**[01:27] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Bullets!
**[01:27] [SONG] Kana**
And hear gags flying at you like bullets?
**[01:29] [SONG] Kana**
Leave it to comedy ninjas!
**[01:30] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Nin-nin!
**[01:30] [SONG] Saeka**
High society, celebrity
**[01:30] [SONG] Hikari & Mako**
High! Celebrity!
**[01:32] [SONG] Saeka**
The cleanest jokes are our priority
**[01:33] [SONG] Hikari & Mako**
Priority!
**[01:34] [SONG] Miyu**
Yeah, Akudare, making you all laugh
**[01:35] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Yeah!
**[01:36] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Ah! Ah!
**[01:37] [SONG] Miyu**
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back
**[01:37] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back!
**[01:39] [SONG] Yuina**
We. Are. The. Invaders. Yo.
**[01:40] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
Ah Invaders
**[01:41] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
That should tell you all you need to know
**[01:42] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
Need to know!
**[01:42] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Yeah!
**[01:43] [SONG] Yuzu**
Shake it up, Wai-Wai!
**[01:43] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Wai-Wai!
**[01:44] [SONG] Yomogi**
Heat up the timeline!
**[01:44] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Timeline!
**[01:45] [SONG] Yayoi**
Scramble for the win,
we won't give up our pride
**[01:47] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Pride!
**[01:47] [SONG] Yomogi**
Found a new line
**[01:48] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Oh!
**[01:48] [SONG] Yuzu**
Gonna sweep the prime time
**[01:49] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Oh!
**[01:49] [SONG] Yayoi**
Who's on top then?
**[01:51] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Gotta take the Teppen!
**[01:51] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina**
Take it to the top
**[01:52] [SONG] all call**
Doin' it for real!
**[01:53] [SONG] Kana; Saeka**
We'll show you, giving everything
we got, oh yeah
**[01:55] [SONG] all call**
Oh yeah
**[01:56] [SONG] Miyu; Yuina**
Gonna face the challenge head-on
**[01:56] [SONG] all call**
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
**[01:58] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina**
Running straight ahead
**[01:58] [SONG] all call**
Yo! Yo! Yo!
**[01:59] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai**
Take it to the top
**[02:00] [SONG] all call**
Yeah that's right!
**[02:02] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai**
It's show
**[02:02] [SONG] Yomogi**
Don't slow down to hear them
call you funny, not a day
**[02:05] [SONG] Yuzu**
You'll never reach the top that way
**[02:05] [SONG] all call**
Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh yeah!
**[02:07] [SONG] Yayoi**
You know it's true, what we say
**[02:09] [SONG] all call**
Hey!
**[02:10] [SONG] all sing**
But this isn't about us just getting a laugh
**[02:13] [SONG] all call**
Yeah! Yeah!
**[02:15] [SONG] all sing**
That's not why we're here
It's much bigger, bigger than all that
**[02:19] [SONG] all call**
All that
**[02:20] [SONG] all sing**
We want to get
**[02:20] [SONG] all call**
We want to get, yeah!
**[02:23] [SONG] all sing**
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
**[02:23] [SONG] all call**
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
**[02:27] [SONG] all sing**
Yeah if we are the ones
that are making you laugh
**[02:28] [SONG] all call**
Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye!
**[02:32] [SONG] all sing**
We gotta go so hard it'll really,
really give us that, you know?
**[02:37] [SONG] all sing**
Top of the laugh
**[02:37] [SONG] all call**
Top of the laugh Ye~ah!
**[02:40] [SONG] all sing**
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way.
We're gonna make it to the top one day!
**[02:40] [SONG] all call**
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way,
oh! We're gonna make it to the top one day!
**[02:45] [SONG] Yayoi**
Aw yeah!
***SIGN*** The Cattle Chapter
***SIGN*** Tokyo
***SIGN*** News
***SIGN*** PRESIDENT ARRIVES IN JAPAN
***SIGN*** YESTERDAY 7:20 PM
**[02:56] Announcer**
* The president landed at Kansai*
* International Airport yesterday*
**[02:59] Announcer**
*to take part in the summit meetings.*
**[03:01] Yayoi**
The president really is here.
***SIGN*** tonight 8 o'clock head of state assassination
**[03:05] Yuzu**
But an assassination?
**[03:07] Yomogi**
What should we do? This isn't a wish,
it's a plan! A declaration, even!
**[03:11] Yayoi**
C-Calm down, Yomogi!
**[03:14] Yayoi**
Let me get my glowing stick.
**[03:15] Yayoi**
When it flashes, you'll forget everything!
**[03:18] Yomogi**
You're the one who needs
to calm down, Agent Y!
**[03:20] Yayoi**
If that's where you found it,
**[03:22] Yayoi**
then someone in Takako-so
must be after the president!
**[03:24] Yomogi**
W-We need to tell the police.
**[03:26] Yayoi**
You can't!
**[03:28] Yayoi**
If you do that, they'll catch
the person who wrote it!
**[03:30] Yuzu**
But they're planning an assassination.
**[03:33] Yayoi**
I know, but all of us here
are on the same side!
**[03:36] Yayoi**
We came together because we
love comedy. We're all friends here.
**[03:40] Yayoi**
I don't want anyone to get arrested.
**[03:41] Yomogi**
Yayoi...
***SIGN*** tonight 8 o'clock head of state assassination
**[03:44] Yayoi**
All right, then. I'll find out who wrote it.
**[03:47] Yayoi**
Then I'll stop the assassination!
**[03:49] Yomogi**
Stop it? But how?
**[03:51] Yayoi**
We'll talk it out. There's no way a
comedy fan would be totally evil.
**[03:54] Yuzu**
Good point. If you can talk it out,
maybe they'll come to their senses.
**[03:58] Yuzu**
I agree with Yayoi's idea.
**[04:02] Yomogi**
Okay, fine. I'll go along with it.
**[04:04] Yomogi**
I guess we should be
proud that the job landed
**[04:06] Yomogi**
on manzai comedians who are
so good at eakingspay.
**[04:08] Yayoi**
I knew you'd understand,
Yomogi! That's my man!
**[04:10] Yomogi**
I'm totally a girl!
**[04:19] Mone**
Seiji-san, where's the milk?
**[04:22] Seiji**
Aw, sorry. All we have are protein drinks.
**[04:24] Mone**
Eh...
**[04:25] Miyu**
Natto from Mito is so delish!
**[04:28] Announcer**
*The president successfully arrived at the summit.*
**[04:28] Misao**
Did you buy that yourself?
**[04:30] Miyu**
That's right! To help
spread Ibaraki culture!
**[04:31] Announcer**
*That's all for the news today.*
***SIGN*** Tokyo
***SIGN*** News
***SIGN*** SUMMIT MEETING
***SIGN*** All-Day
***SIGN*** Rampage Detective
**[04:33] TV voice**
**All-Day Rampage Detective*!*
**[04:36] TV voice**
*The hit show, now airing!*
**[04:37] Yuzu**
The assassination is at 8:00 tonight.
**[04:40] Yuzu**
That's what it said, right?
**[04:42] Yomogi**
We've got to find who's planning it and
convince them to stop before then.
**[04:52] Yomogi**
Say, Mako-chan, what are you hiding there?
**[04:54] Mako**
Huh?
**[04:55] Yayoi**
That shape... Could it be...
**[04:58] Yayoi**
A pistol?
**[05:00] Hikari**
We're only allowed one banana a day.
**[05:02] Mako**
I'm sorry!
**[05:04] Hikari**
Geez, you're such a scrounger.
**[05:06] Mako**
I'm not scrounging!
**[05:07] Mako**
I could buy the island of New Guinea
and *all* its bananas, if I wanted!
**[05:07] Hikari**
Yeah, whatever.
**[05:09] Yayoi**
Ugh. This is a wild goose chase.
**[05:11] Yuzu**
Hey, take a look over there.
**[05:13] Yuzu**
Kana-chan from Bullet Kunoichi.
**[05:15] Yuzu**
She hasn't been looking well. I wonder why.
**[05:18] Yomogi**
Could she be nervous
about the assassination?
**[05:21] Yayoi**
Maybe she's tortured with guilt.
**[05:26] Kana**
I feel so sick.
**[05:28] Kana**
Why do I have to run a 10K
in the morning, anyway?
**[05:30] Iroha**
You're too out of shape, Kana.
**[05:33] Iroha**
You gotta build up some body strength.
**[05:33] Chitose**
Uh-huh.
**[05:35] Kana**
I'm gonna die before I tell a single joke.
**[05:37] Kana**
Then they're gonna build
a pyramid for my grave!
**[05:40] Chitose**
You think you're an ancient
Egyptian king or something?
**[05:47] Yuzu**
Whoever it is, they aren't
letting their guard down.
**[05:49] Yomogi**
I'm starting to wonder if we'll even
find the assassin before tonight.
**[05:53] Yayoi**
Don't worry about it! We've still
got lots and lots of time.
**[05:56] Yomogi**
But you know, this is someone
trying to kill the president.
**[06:01] Yomogi**
Do you really think they'd listen to us?
**[06:03] Yuzu**
In that case, let's try something else.
**[06:05] Yuzu**
Let's poison them!
**[06:07] Yayoi & Yomogi**
Poison?!
***SIGN*** Young Wai-Wai
**[06:09] Yuzu**
We'll spike Yomogi's takoyaki with a poison
that makes people get numb and tingly.
**[06:13] Mako**
This is a disaster!
***SIGN*** Young Wai-Wai
**[06:15] Yuzu**
The assassin won't be able to move.
**[06:17] Yuzu**
If they can't get away,
they'll have to talk to us, right?
**[06:20] Yomogi**
Man, that's dark! But how do we get
them to eat it in the first place?
**[06:24] Yayoi**
If we tell them the takoyaki
will raise their assassin stats,
**[06:28] Yayoi**
wouldn't they think it's
a power-up and chow down?
**[06:31] Yomogi**
Takoyaki doesn't give stat buffs!
**[06:33] Hikari**
Poison?
**[06:34] Saeka**
Are you certain that's what
they were talking about?
**[06:37] Mako**
Without a doubt!
**[06:38] Mako**
They had evil grins on their faces and
were plotting to poison people to death!
***SIGN*** ° For Illustration Only
**[06:42] Saeka**
But poison whom?
**[06:45] Mako**
Isn't it obvious? Every single one of us!
**[06:48] Mako**
They want to take out everyone in the dorm!
**[06:51] Hikari**
To be sure, with their rivals out of the way,
**[06:53] Hikari**
they would have an advantage in
the Teppen Grand Prix finals.
**[06:55] Saeka**
How could they go that far?
**[06:58] Saeka**
I've made a decision.
**[07:00] Saeka**
Let's show Young Wai-Wai every
ounce of hospitality we can!
**[07:03] Mako**
Huh?
**[07:04] Hikari**
What do you mean?
**[07:05] Saeka**
They're willing to use inhuman means to win.
**[07:08] Saeka**
I'm sure they've been debased
by the poverty in their hearts.
**[07:13] Saeka**
Right now, those girls could be compared
to a Hitsumabushi without the grilled eel.
**[07:17] Saeka**
Pitiful! Simply too much white rice!
**[07:20] Saeka**
We're the only ones who can save them.
**[07:22] Saeka**
Let's soothe and comfort
their ailing hearts.
**[07:26] Saeka**
Then they'll see poison for the crime
it is and surely abandon their plans!
**[07:39] Seiji**
Yeah, macho macho!
**[07:41] Seiji**
Right macho, left macho!
Macho up, macho down!
**[07:45] Seiji**
And pose!
**[07:47] Seiji**
Hey! Who said that you could rest?!
**[07:50] Yayoi**
Is this some kind of dance?
**[07:52] Yomogi**
I have no idea what part
it's supposed to work out.
**[07:55] Yuzu**
I'm so exhausted.
**[07:57] Seiji**
Oh well... Let's take a short break.
**[08:02] Saeka**
Young Wai-Wai members, we'd like to
offer you some refreshments today.
**[08:07] Saeka**
Preparations!
**[08:08] Yayoi; Yomogi; Yuzu**
Huh?
**[08:12] Saeka**
Well, then, please help yourselves.
**[08:14] Yayoi; Yomogi; Yuzu**
Huh?!
**[08:15] Hikari**
Here's some Japanese sweets, too!
**[08:17] Hikari**
I had them sent from home.
**[08:20] Yomogi**
What's this all about?
**[08:21] Kana**
Hey, that's unfair! We want to eat some, too!
**[08:23] Saeka**
You may not.
**[08:24] Saeka**
We prepared this only for the
members of Young Wai-Wai.
***SIGN*** Against Extreme Weight Loss
**[08:28] Chitose**
That's favoritism! No playing favorites!
**[08:30] Iroha; Chitose**
We protest!
**[08:31] Hina**
Huh? Empty...
**[08:33] Hina**
My throat's so dry.
**[08:35] Yuzu**
Um...
**[08:37] Yuzu**
I bought an extra one. Would you like it?
***SIGN*** Lemon
**[08:42] Mako**
*Could that be... the poison?*
**[08:43] Hina**
Ah, lemon's not my thing.
**[08:46] Yuzu**
Not your favorite? But this
one has a mild flavor.
**[08:49] Mako**
Stop! You'll die!
**[08:50] Yuzu**
Huh? Do you really hate it that much?
**[08:52] Hina**
Um...
**[08:53] Yayoi**
Finders keepers!
**[08:56] Yayoi**
So tasty, tho!
**[08:58] Mako**
What?
**[08:59] Yomogi**
Um, this is very generous,
but we can't accept it.
**[09:02] Yayoi**
What?!
**[09:03] Yuzu**
Yayoi!
**[09:04] Saeka**
Oh, really? That's too bad.
**[09:20] Yuina**
Are you watching that same show again?
**[09:23] Mone**
Isn't it an awesome show?
**[09:26] Yuina**
What's it called?
**[09:28] Mone**
*All-Day Rampage Detective*.
**[09:32] Chihori**
Earthlings sure are robust.
**[09:36] Yuina**
You're talking like an alien again.
**[09:38] Chihori**
N-No, I'm not! I'm not an alien!
**[09:41] Chihori**
No Earth, no life!
**[09:43] Mone**
It'd be pretty funny if you
really were an alien, though.
**[09:44] Kana**
Okay!
**[09:53] Kana**
Infiltration successful.
**[09:54] Kana**
Now I just have to locate
and acquire the target.
**[09:59] Kana**
Apologies, Celebs. Even people like
me want to eat gourmet sweets.
**[10:05] Hikari**
It wasn't poisoned after all.
**[10:07] Mako**
Is it possible they've realized
that we're on to them?
**[10:10] Hikari**
In that case, we'll have to pay them off.
**[10:14] Kana**
Huh?!
**[10:15] Mako**
You're gonna give money to the
members of Young Wai-Wai?
**[10:18] Hikari**
Financial influence can be very
helpful for filling an empty heart.
**[10:21] Saeka**
If we can resolve this with a small amount
of money, that may be the best way.
**[10:25] Saeka**
How does 500 million yen per person sound?
**[10:28] Kana**
F-Five hundred million yen?
**[10:30] Mako**
That's too much! That would
only encourage them!
**[10:33] Saeka**
Really?
**[10:34] Hikari**
I wonder.
**[10:41] Iroha**
A bribe like that isn't very subtle.
***SIGN*** Takoyaki
***SIGN*** Fancy
***SIGN*** Fancy
**[10:43] Kana**
I bet they'll use it to pay off some bigwig
in the Teppen Grand Prix and buy the win!
**[10:48] Chitose**
Wait, what's with the wetsuit?
**[10:48] Kana**
It isn't fair when we're
out here doing our best!
**[10:51] Chitose**
Yo, what's with the wetsuit?
**[10:51] Kana**
Iroha-senpai, Chitose-senpai,
help me out here!
**[10:54] Kana**
I want the Celebs to start
taking comedy seriously again!
**[10:59] Chitose**
You aren't listening!
**[11:02] Saeka**
We can't let the Young Wai-Wai
girls turn to a life of crime.
**[11:06] Saeka**
We're the only ones who can
keep that from happening.
**[11:09] Yuzu**
We still haven't found the assassin.
**[11:12] Yomogi**
And we're almost out of time, too!
**[11:15] Yayoi**
We'll have to do it during
the afternoon rehearsals.
**[11:17] Kana**
We have to stop the bribery!
**[11:19] Kana**
We gotta hustle, Bullet Kunoichi!
**[11:22] Saeka**
We will surely prevent the poison attack.
**[11:24] Saeka**
I swear it on the name of Celebri-Tea!
**[11:27] Yayoi**
We've got to stop the assassination.
**[11:29] Yayoi**
Let's do this, Young Wai-Wai!
***SIGN*** Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
***SIGN*** Love Saves Ibaraki
***SIGN*** Akudare Kingdom
**[11:42] Yuina**
My name is Jupitris Naru-Naru Neiji Yuina.
**[11:45] Yuina**
The Earth is in danger!
**[11:46] Mone**
No need to worry. We are in
possession of this secret weapon.
**[11:50] Chihori**
It is true that Jovians are
disgusted by Yubari melons.
**[11:54] Mone**
Reconciliation talks are also an option.
**[11:55] Mone**
We are prepared to offer
a Grinding Lover cookie.
**[11:57] Chihori**
There it is!
**[11:58] Chihori**
The cookie taking Mars by storm!
Grinding Lover!
***SIGN*** Love Saves Ibaraki
**[12:02] Miyu**
Love saves Ibaraki! Let's go, let's go!
**[12:06] Misao**
That's a lot less to save than the Earth!
**[12:07] Hina**
Why would anyone save a place like Ibaraki?
**[12:10] Hina**
There ain't nothing good there, anyway.
**[12:12] Miyu**
That ain't true!
**[12:13] Miyu**
A while ago, I saw a dude having
a friendly chat with a cop.
**[12:17] Misao**
He was probably getting a citation!
**[12:19] Misao**
Don't put a positive spin on it!
**[12:21] Yayoi**
My uncle's home is an
okonomiyaki restaurant.
**[12:24] Yomogi**
My home is a takoyaki place.
They're both floury foods, right?
**[12:27] Yomogi**
That's why we named our old duo
Konamons, for "Flour People."
**[12:31] Yuzu**
That's so cool! I feel kind of left out.
**[12:34] Yuzu**
Maybe I should start a store, too.
**[12:36] Yomogi**
Why not? What'll you sell?
**[12:37] Yuzu**
Bread made from flower seeds!
**[12:39] Yomogi**
You can't really make bread that way!
**[12:40] Yomogi**
And that isn't the "flour" we meant.
**[12:42] Yayoi**
I actually bought some
seedy bread the other day.
**[12:45] Yayoi**
The bread shop was run by a married couple,
**[12:48] Yayoi**
but the husband was cheating
with a young employee and...
**[12:51] Yomogi**
That's a different kind of seedy!
**[12:53] Saeka**
That was simply lovely!
**[12:56] Saeka**
Young Wai-Wai, your stand-up
really is the best.
**[12:59] Yomogi**
Oh. Thank you kindly.
**[13:01] Saeka**
This isn't much, considering the transcendent
comedy you've shared with us,
**[13:04] Saeka**
but please accept this gift.
**[13:09] Saeka**
It's worth 500 million yen.
**[13:11] Yuzu**
Five hundred million?!
**[13:12] Yayoi**
It's blinding me!
**[13:13] Yomogi**
Yeah, no, we can't accept that!
**[13:15] Mako**
My eyes! My eyes!
**[13:18] Hikari**
You okay, Mako?
**[13:19] Yuzu**
Isn't this suspicious?
**[13:21] Yayoi & Yomogi**
Huh?
**[13:21] Yuzu**
This might mean they want to pay
us to drop our investigation.
**[13:25] Yomogi**
It couldn't be...
**[13:27] Hikari**
Saeka is the heiress to a conglomerate
that includes the company
**[13:30] Hikari**
with the largest market share
of tea leaves in Japan.
**[13:33] Saeka**
Oh, dear. But Hikari here is
the daughter of the president
**[13:36] Saeka**
of the largest sweets company
in Aichi Prefecture.
**[13:38] Mako**
I'm pretty rich, too!
**[13:40] Mako**
I can eat two cup noodles in one sitting.
**[13:42] Saeka**
There's something I've been
thinking of purchasing recently.
**[13:44] Mako**
Eh...
**[13:45] Hikari**
What is it?
**[13:46] Saeka**
Tokyo Tower.
**[13:48] Hikari**
Yeah, you gotta b—
**[13:50] Hikari**
Well, maybe you could, Saeka.
**[13:51] Saeka**
When I checked my purse,
I had just enough to cover it.
**[13:54] Hikari**
You carry that much around?
**[13:58] Kana**
Hear me out!
**[13:59] Kana**
The most important thing for stand-up is the
passion to chase after comedy single-mindedly!
**[14:03] Chitose**
That's exactly right!
**[14:04] Chitose**
And Celebri-Tea has what it takes!
**[14:06] Iroha**
Let's all fight fair, Celebri-Tea!
**[14:09] Iroha**
We know you're strong enough to do it!
**[14:11] Hikari**
What was that? Was it really manzai?
**[14:13] Mako**
Is it a different style or something?
**[14:14] Saeka**
It seems more like they're trying to
teach us a lesson than tell us a joke.
**[14:18] Yayoi**
Hey, hey, wasn't that weird?
**[14:20] Yayoi**
Maybe they're trying to get pumped
up for tonight's assassination.
**[14:23] Yomogi**
An assassination isn't something
you get "pumped up" for!
**[14:26] Mako**
Hey. I just heard you say "assassination."
**[14:29] Mako**
Are you trying to poison
Bullet Kunoichi first?
**[14:32] Saeka**
You've left us no other choice, have you?
**[14:35] Saeka**
Members of Young Wai-Wai,
you mustn't do anything rash!
**[14:39] Saeka**
I can see straight through
everything you're thinking!
**[14:43] Yomogi**
Huh? Straight through?
**[14:45] Yayoi**
Do you think they know we're
trying to stop the assassination?
**[14:48] Saeka**
I can understand how you all feel.
**[14:51] Saeka**
However, nobody has the right to get
in the way of anyone else's dream!
**[14:55] Yayoi**
I guess maybe that's some kind of a dream...
**[14:58] Yuzu**
But if we *don't* get in the way,
something terrible will happen!
**[15:01] Kana**
It's good to have dreams.
**[15:02] Kana**
But you know, Saeka-san,
if your dream truly is sincere,
**[15:06] Kana**
I really think you have to fight
fair and square to reach it!
**[15:11] Yomogi**
A fair fight would be a disaster, too!
**[15:14] Kana**
You gotta chase your dreams fairly!
**[15:14] Kanae**
Don't do anything rash, Young Wai-Wai!
**[15:14] Yayoi**
What are you talking about?
**[15:16] Seiji**
All of you...
**[15:17] Seiji**
You're supposed to be
rehearsing your routines!
**[15:19] Seiji**
If you keep squabbling,
**[15:21] Seiji**
I'll make you do 30
dumbbell concentration curls!
**[15:23] Yomogi**
The punishment still doesn't fit the crime!
**[15:31] Misao**
That was a total mess. Why was
everybody acting so strange?
**[15:34] Hina**
We had no clue what was happening,
so maybe we're the weirdos.
**[15:38] Hina**
We are from Ibaraki, after all.
**[15:40] Misao**
How does that explain anything?
**[15:42] Miyu**
Strange. It's gotta be
around here somewhere.
**[15:45] Misao**
What is? What are you looking for?
**[15:47] Misao**
What did you drag us along for?
**[15:50] Miyu**
I figured out the one thing
that this city really needs.
**[15:54] Miyu**
More Ibaraki! So I've decided
to build up Ibaraki here!
**[15:58] Misao**
Do you mean something
like a tourism showroom?
**[16:02] Miyu**
Yeah! Good idea, right?
**[16:04] Miyu**
I've been looking for the right location.
**[16:08] Miyu**
I've already got a few candidates.
**[16:10] Miyu**
Now we just gotta take a look.
**[16:13] Yuina**
Why do we have a cow?
**[16:15] Mone**
As we're from Hokkaido, we need a glass
of fresh-squeezed milk in the morning.
**[16:20] Mone**
We needed a cow for that.
**[16:22] Yuina**
But *how* do we have a cow?
**[16:23] Chihori**
I found it wandering around.
**[16:25] Yuina**
You don't just *find* cows
wandering around!
**[16:27] Mone**
I guess we got really lucky, huh.
**[16:29] Yuina**
Luck doesn't explain something like this!
**[16:31] Yuina**
We can't keep it at Takako-so,
anyway. It's a cow!
**[16:34] Mone**
That's right. Pets aren't
allowed at Takako-so.
**[16:38] Mone**
That's why we gotta find a
good home for it to live in.
**[16:41] Chihori**
The place the real estate agent talked
about should be right around here.
**[16:46] Mone**
He sure was surprised when we asked if
he had a good house for a cow, though.
**[16:51] Yuina**
For sure.
**[16:52] Mone**
Oh.
**[16:53] Mone & Miyu**
There it is.
**[16:54] Misao**
Howdy, Invaders. What are y'all doin' here?
**[16:56] Mone**
That's our question.
**[16:56] Miyu**
Oh, this is just like I imagined!
**[16:59] Miyu**
It'll make a great Ibaraki shop!
**[17:02] Mone**
Now, wait a second. We're planning
to make this our cow's new home.
**[17:06] Miyu**
What are you talkin' about? I found it first!
**[17:09] Mone**
We beat you by 0.1 seconds. So there!
**[17:12] Miyu**
No stinkin' way!
**[17:13] Chihori**
C'mon, Mone, you know you
can't get in a fight.
**[17:15] Misao**
Miyu, you're not supposed to start trouble.
**[17:17] Yuina**
Well, then, how about we let
the cow run the Ibaraki shop?
**[17:20] Yuina**
Would that be okay?
**[17:21] Mone & Miyu**
No way!
**[17:22] Mone**
Cows from Hokkaido are way too sensitive.
**[17:25] Mone**
Being surrounded with natto and pots of
monkfish stew will stress them out.
**[17:28] Misao**
What kind of image is that?!
**[17:30] Miyu**
Ibaraki punks will pick a
fight with any cow they see.
**[17:33] Miyu**
It won't work!
**[17:33] Misao**
Who has a death wish like that?!
**[17:35] Yuina**
Back us up here, Chihori.
**[17:37] Mone**
It's a cow house, not an
Ibaraki shop, right? Right?
**[17:41] Chihori**
Well, okay. The objective data says...
**[17:44] Miyu**
Data?
**[17:45] Chihori**
I just found a poll of Martians,
Jovians, and Saturnians,
**[17:49] Chihori**
asking which prefecture
they'd most like to live in,
**[17:51] Chihori**
in which Ibaraki ranked last
for five years straight.
**[17:53] Misao**
What kind of ranking is that?
**[17:55] Hina**
Now, *who* just made fun of Ibaraki?
**[17:58] Mone**
Um, Hina?
**[17:59] Hina**
Which of you creeps is
making fun of Ibaraki?
**[18:02] Hina**
Why the heck do we have
to take that from you?
**[18:05] Hina**
You wanna be tossed into
a monkfish stew, too?!
**[18:07] Hina**
You wanna take a shoulder throw from
one of the seals at Aqua World? Huh?!
**[18:11] Chihori**
I don't know what you want me to say.
**[18:14] Miyu**
She mad.
**[18:15] Misao**
Geez. She's fine joking about herself,
**[18:18] Misao**
but when someone else makes fun
of Ibaraki, she always loses it.
**[18:20] Yayoi**
Hold it right there!
**[18:22] Yuina**
W-What?!
**[18:23] Yuzu**
We've been quietly tailing the Invaders.
**[18:26] Mone**
How come?
**[18:27] Yayoi**
Heh-heh.
**[18:28] Yayoi**
My dazzling powers of deduction
**[18:30] Yayoi**
have revealed that the Invaders
are the most likely culprits!
***SIGN*** Presidential
Assassination
***SIGN*** Who Benefits?
***SIGN*** Aliens Targeting
the Earth
***SIGN*** Invaders
**[18:34] Mako**
Stop right there!
**[18:35] Yuina**
What is it this time?
**[18:37] Saeka**
We had good reason to tail
the Young Wai-Wai members
**[18:41] Saeka**
who were tailing the Invaders members.
**[18:43] Yuina**
Tailing the tail?
**[18:45] Mako**
Just watch! We'll stop
Young Wai-Wai's evil plan!
**[18:48] Mako**
We know all about it!
**[18:49] Mako**
The cow was going be a test
subject for their poison!
**[18:52] Hikari**
If a poison can kill a cow, it can
most certainly kill a human.
**[18:56] Hikari**
You sure thought this through.
**[18:57] Saeka**
Please, stop this now.
**[18:59] Saeka**
Please don't poison
innocent people and cows!
**[19:02] Yomogi**
What's with all this talk about poison?
**[19:04] Kana**
Hold it right there!
**[19:06] Yuina**
Another group?
**[19:07] Iroha**
We had good reason to tail Celebri-Tea,
**[19:10] Iroha**
who were tailing Young Wai-Wai,
who were tailing the Invaders!
**[19:15] Misao**
I'm totally lost right now.
**[19:17] Kana**
Celebs! Cease your dastardly bribery!
**[19:20] Kana**
We know you were going to use
that cow for high-quality beef
**[19:23] Kana**
to bribe the Teppen Grand Prix bigwigs with!
**[19:25] Chitose**
You knew that money might be traced,
**[19:27] Chitose**
so you decided to pay your bribes
with steak. A truly clever plan!
**[19:30] Saeka**
What are you talking about?
**[19:32] Hikari**
I really don't think that
cow is meant to be eaten.
**[19:35] Mako**
Well, I'd take a bite.
**[19:36] Mone**
What's your problem, anyway?
**[19:38] Yayoi**
Can you kill someone with milk
if they're lactose intolerant?
**[19:39] Mako**
How could you poison such
a delicious-looking cow?
**[19:39] Mone**
The cow is just for milk!
**[19:41] Yuina**
Come on, what is this all about?
***SIGN*** tonight 8 o'clock head of state assassination
**[19:51] Chihori**
I'm so sorry! They won't
let us keep cows here.
**[19:55] Chihori**
Please take it home!
**[19:59] Chihori**
I sent the cow home.
**[20:00] Mone**
Huh? How?
**[20:02] Yomogi**
Oh, come on, there's no
way we'd poison anyone.
**[20:05] Saeka**
It's such an insult that you could
ever think we would bribe anyone!
**[20:08] Kana**
I'm really sorry!
**[20:09] Chitose**
Kana always jumps to conclusions.
**[20:11] Mako**
Oh, yeah, she does!
**[20:13] Hikari**
You too, Mako.
**[20:14] Mako**
Um...
**[20:14] Yayoi**
I guess it was all just a misunderstanding.
**[20:17] Yuzu**
But if so, what was the ema plaque about?
**[20:19] Seiji**
Oh? This symbol...
***SIGN*** tonight 8 o'clock head of state assassination
**[20:21] Yayoi**
Do you recognize it, Seiji-san?
**[20:23] Seiji**
It's from *All-Day Rampage Detective*.
Haven't you seen it?
**[20:26] Chihori**
Oh, yes! The clever Terran TV show.
**[20:29] Yuzu**
You mean the popular series
about the detective who relies
**[20:32] Yuzu**
on his incredible physical stamina
to solve crimes all day long?
**[20:36] Seiji**
Yeah, that's the one.
**[20:37] Seiji**
Next week's episode is about a death threat
**[20:39] Seiji**
sent to the head chef of a
crooked diner called State,
**[20:43] Seiji**
who sells fried tofu passed off as steaks.
**[20:45] Yomogi**
Is that the crime?!
**[20:47] Seiji**
I'm pretty sure this is the symbol used
by the terrorist group in the show.
***SIGN*** tonight 8 o'clock head of state assassination
**[20:51] Yuzu**
Does that mean...
**[20:53] Yuzu**
When you were doing your
usual morning cleaning...
**[21:05] Yuzu**
Like that?
**[21:06] all girls**
Glare...
**[21:08] Seiji**
H-Hey now! Are you blaming this on me?
**[21:12] Bauer**
Don't move! Everyone, hands up!
**[21:14] Assistant Director-kun**
I'm so sorry! There's been a mistake!
This isn't the location for the shoot!
**[21:18] Bauer**
Huh? Really?
**[21:19] Assistant Director-kun**
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
**[21:20] staff**
Oh, come on! What are you doing?
**[21:22] staff**
Why didn't you tell us sooner?
**[21:22] Bauer**
I came to the wrong location,
and I regret it deeply.
**[21:30] Yuzu**
I wonder where the real
shooting location was.
**[21:32] Yayoi**
I hear it was supposed to be at
the White House, not Takako-so.
**[21:35] Yomogi**
How could they mix those up?
**[21:37] Yomogi**
Gimme a break.
**[21:38] all three**
Thank you very much!
**[21:41] Yomogi**
Another exhausting day.
**[21:44] Yayoi**
Hey, let's write our own ema plaques.
**[21:46] Yayoi**
With wishes like, "Please let us
win the Teppen Grand Prix!"
**[21:49] Yomogi**
Yeah, but I'd rather wish on a shooting star.
**[21:52] Yomogi**
They're more romantic.
**[21:54] Yuzu**
Oh! A shooting star!
**[21:55] Yayoi**
No kidding! Please let us
win the Teppen Grand Prix!
**[21:59] Yomogi**
Isn't that shooting star a little...
**[21:59] Yayoi**
Let us win! Let us win!
**[22:01] Yomogi**
...slow?
**[22:04] [SONG] Lead**
Go! We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
**[22:09] [SONG] back**
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
**[22:16] [SONG] lead**
Hi! Hi! Hello! Let's get
on with the show today.
**[22:19] [SONG] lead**
We've just got four minutes, but we
hope you hear everything that we say.
**[22:22] [SONG] back**
Hey there cutie, hey there cutie,
didn't even miss a beat there, cutie.
**[22:24] [SONG] lead**
We hope you enjoy the show today.
**[22:27] [SONG] lead**
Here at home with you, in your living room,
we'll put a twinkle into your eyes.
**[22:33] [SONG] lead**
We've all dreamed to see if we could be
on a stage so free. Now it's a reality!
**[22:42] [SONG] lead**
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
**[22:45] [SONG] lead**
It's all good when we're laughing together.
**[22:48] [SONG] lead**
If we bomb, slip, even if we cry,
so what! That's still part of our destiny.
**[22:53] [SONG] lead**
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
**[22:56] [SONG] lead**
We'll hit it big if we
keep laughing together.
**[22:59] [SONG] lead**
We never knew that life
could ever be like this,
**[23:02] [SONG] lead**
and now that we're going, you know
there's no way we'll ever stop!
**[23:05] [SONG] lead**
We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
**[23:09] [SONG] back**
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
**[23:10] [SONG] lead**
All of our searching, all of our
training is fading out into the past.
**[23:16] [SONG] lead**
But to us now, those memories
will always be so precious.
**[23:22] [SONG] lead**
All of the tears, all of the pain,
rewriting life with our own words.
**[23:27] [SONG] lead**
We want to laugh it all away with you,
right up to the end. And that's a wrap!
***SIGN*** The Boss Battle Chapter
# E3 - The Evil Magistrate Chapter
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GK9U30V12/the-evil-magistrate-chapter)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:02] All three**
Hello there!
**[00:05] Kana**
Bull's-eye!
**[00:06] All three**
Nin-nin!
**[00:07] All three**
We're Bullet Kunoichi!
**[00:09] Chitose**
We're gonna let loose!
**[00:10] Iroha**
Ooh!
**[00:11] Kana**
You know, I've been thinking...
**[00:13] Iroha**
About what?
**[00:14] Kana**
I was about to tell you!
**[00:16] Iroha**
Oh, my bad.
**[00:18] Kana**
So I've been thinking about how tough it must
be for people who take over a family business.
**[00:24] [SONG] all**
Yeah!
**[00:24] [SONG] Yomogi**
So, what's comedy?
**[00:25] [SONG] Yayoi**
Yo!
**[00:25] [SONG] Yuzu**
Tough question, for me
**[00:27] [SONG] Yayoi**
What could it be?
It's too far out to see!
**[00:28] [SONG] Yuzu & Yomogi**
Be! See!
**[00:29] [SONG] Yomogi**
Boke and tsukkomi, in the zone
**[00:29] [SONG] Yayoi**
Ye ye, in the zone!
**[00:31] [SONG] Yuzu**
We got god-tier jokes on the horizon
**[00:31] [SONG] Yayoi & Yomogi**
God! Horizon!
**[00:33] [SONG] Kana**
Wanna see us split into bunshin
**[00:33] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Yeah!
**[00:34] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Bullets!
**[00:34] [SONG] Kana**
And hear gags flying at you like bullets?
**[00:36] [SONG] Kana**
Leave it to comedy ninjas!
**[00:37] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Nin-nin!
**[00:37] [SONG] Saeka**
High society, celebrity
**[00:37] [SONG] Hikari & Mako**
High! Celebrity!
**[00:39] [SONG] Saeka**
The cleanest jokes are our priority
**[00:40] [SONG] Hikari & Mako**
Priority!
**[00:41] [SONG] Miyu**
Yeah, Akudare, making you all laugh
**[00:42] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Yeah!
**[00:43] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Ah! Ah!
**[00:44] [SONG] Miyu**
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back
**[00:44] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back!
**[00:46] [SONG] Yuina**
We. Are. The. Invaders. Yo.
**[00:47] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
Ah Invaders
**[00:48] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
That should tell you all you need to know
**[00:49] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
Need to know!
**[00:50] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Yeah!
**[00:50] [SONG] Yuzu**
Shake it up, Wai-Wai!
**[00:50] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Wai-Wai!
**[00:51] [SONG] Yomogi**
Heat up the timeline!
**[00:51] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Timeline!
**[00:52] [SONG] Yayoi**
Scramble for the win,
we won't give up our pride
**[00:54] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Pride!
**[00:54] [SONG] Yomogi**
Found a new line
**[00:55] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Oh!
**[00:55] [SONG] Yuzu**
Gonna sweep the prime time
**[00:56] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Oh!
**[00:56] [SONG] Yayoi**
Who's on top then?
**[00:58] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Gotta take the Teppen!
**[00:58] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina**
Take it to the top
**[01:00] [SONG] all call**
Doin' it for real!
**[01:00] [SONG] Kana; Saeka**
We'll show you, giving everything
we got, oh yeah
**[01:02] [SONG] all call**
Oh yeah
**[01:03] [SONG] Miyu; Yuina**
Gonna face the challenge head-on
**[01:03] [SONG] all call**
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
**[01:05] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina**
Running straight ahead
**[01:05] [SONG] all call**
Yo! Yo! Yo!
**[01:07] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai**
Take it to the top
**[01:07] [SONG] all call**
Yeah that's right!
**[01:09] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai**
It's show
**[01:10] [SONG] Yomogi**
Don't slow down to hear them
call you funny, not a day
**[01:12] [SONG] Yuzu**
You'll never reach the top that way
**[01:12] [SONG] all call**
Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh yeah!
**[01:14] [SONG] Yayoi**
You know it's true, what we say
**[01:16] [SONG] all call**
Hey!
**[01:17] [SONG] all sing**
But this isn't about us just getting a laugh
**[01:20] [SONG] all call**
Yeah! Yeah!
**[01:23] [SONG] all sing**
That's not why we're here
It's much bigger, bigger than all that
**[01:26] [SONG] all call**
All that
**[01:27] [SONG] all sing**
We want to get
**[01:27] [SONG] all call**
We want to get, yeah!
**[01:30] [SONG] all sing**
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
**[01:30] [SONG] all call**
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
**[01:35] [SONG] all sing**
Yeah if we are the ones
that are making you laugh
**[01:35] [SONG] all call**
Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye!
**[01:40] [SONG] all sing**
We gotta go so hard it'll really,
really give us that, you know?
**[01:44] [SONG] all sing**
Top of the laugh
**[01:44] [SONG] all call**
Top of the laugh Ye~ah!
**[01:47] [SONG] all sing**
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way.
We're gonna make it to the top one day!
**[01:47] [SONG] all call**
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way,
oh! We're gonna make it to the top one day!
**[01:52] [SONG] Yayoi**
Aw yeah!
***SIGN*** The Evil Magistrate Chapter
**[01:58] Seiji**
All right. Ready?
**[02:00] Seiji**
Start!
**[02:01] Mako**
Ugh!
**[02:02] Miyu**
Guts!
**[02:03] Yayoi**
Heavy...
**[02:03] Kana**
Hngh!
**[02:05] Yuina**
No way!
**[02:05] Kana**
Uwah!
***SIGN*** Winner
**[02:10] Iroha**
Ooh!
**[02:11] Chitose**
All right, ya got it!
**[02:12] Kana**
Oh yeah!
**[02:13] Yayoi**
We lost.
**[02:14] Miyu**
Check it out! Ibaraki wins!
**[02:16] Hina**
Oh boy. What right do people from
Ibaraki have to win *anything*?
**[02:20] Misao**
They have every right!
**[02:22] Seiji**
Hmm. It's settled, then.
**[02:24] Seiji**
The teams appearing on the variety show
are Akudare Kingdom and Bullet Kunoichi.
**[02:28] Yayoi**
TV? That's so cool. I wish we could go, too.
**[02:32] Seiji**
That's just how it is.
**[02:33] Seiji**
The program said they
can only use two teams.
**[02:37] Seiji**
You haven't even qualified for
the Teppen Grand Prix yet,
**[02:40] Seiji**
so just be grateful you even
had a chance to get on TV.
**[02:44] Yomogi**
Don't worry about it.
**[02:44] Yuzu**
I'm sure we'll get another chance.
**[02:47] Hikari**
We have a visitor.
**[02:48] Hikari**
It's for Chitose-chan
from Bullet Kunoichi.
**[02:50] Chitose**
For me?
**[02:52] Chitose**
Oh...
**[02:55] Reporter**
We're from *Monthly Comedy Road*.
Are you Amano Chitose-san?
**[02:58] Chitose**
Yeah...
**[03:00] Iroha**
Huh?
**[03:02] Iroha**
I'm home.
**[03:04] Kana**
Welcome back.
**[03:06] Kana**
Do you know who came to see Chitose-senpai?
**[03:08] Iroha**
No, I don't.
**[03:10] Iroha**
What the heck are you doing?
**[03:12] Kana**
Well you know, I just realized that
going on TV could be really risky.
**[03:17] Iroha**
What do you mean?
**[03:18] Kana**
They say there are three people in the
world who look just like you, right?
**[03:22] Kana**
What if, just what if, one of the people
who looks like me is a mafia don?
**[03:26] Kana**
If that person gets assassinated,
**[03:29] Kana**
and the organization starts looking
for a new boss to replace them...
**[03:33] Kana**
*Hello there!*
**[03:34] Mafia**
She is the boss!
**[03:36] Kana**
They'll rope me into being
an organized crime boss!
**[03:39] Iroha**
That makes sense.
**[03:40] Kana**
But I don't wanna!
**[03:41] Kana**
So yeah, I think I gotta
learn to protect myself.
**[03:45] Iroha**
Hmm. I like your resolve.
**[03:48] Iroha**
If that's what you're doing,
I think I can help.
**[03:50] Kana**
Really? Thanks, Iroha-senpai!
**[03:52] Iroha**
Strength comes from the hips and legs!
**[03:54] Iroha**
Start off with some Bulgarian squats!
**[03:58] Chitose**
I'm home.
**[03:59] Kana**
Eek! My legs are wobbling!
**[04:02] Chitose**
What are you doing?
***SIGN*** Akudare Kingdom
**[04:05] Hina**
*Girls, Girls, Girls*.
**[04:07] Hina**
The girls' variety program that
features all the latest girls.
**[04:10] Misao**
And this time they're featuring
the girls of comedy.
**[04:14] Misao**
That's why they reached out to us.
**[04:16] Hina**
I've never heard of this show.
**[04:17] Misao**
Sounds like it only airs late
night in the Kansai region.
**[04:20] Misao**
It ain't for folks from Ibaraki.
**[04:22] Hina**
It says the girls compete
in different mini-games,
**[04:25] Hina**
and whoever's funniest gets to sing a song.
**[04:29] Hina**
Why a song?
**[04:30] Misao**
No clue. But going on a variety show?
**[04:33] Misao**
I get nervous just thinking about it.
**[04:36] Misao**
Don't you, Miyu?
**[04:37] Misao**
Miyu? What's wrong?
**[04:41] Miyu**
It says the evening reruns of
*Mito Komon Neo* are ending this week!
**[04:46] Misao**
Seriously?!
**[04:47] Misao**
Ibaraki is famous for *Mito Komon Neo*!
**[04:48] Misao**
It's a show with more than
fifty years of history!
**[04:51] Miyu**
Those nincompoops!
**[04:53] Miyu**
It was always my dream
to become a big producer
**[04:56] Miyu**
and make a Hollywood version
of *Mito Komon Neo*!
**[04:59] Misao**
I don't think there's much *Mito* to that!
**[05:02] Miyu**
If the reruns stop, Komon-sama's
popularity will drop.
**[05:06] Miyu**
And then the Hollywood version
goes from greenlit to yellowlit.
**[05:09] Hina**
I don't think it was ever
on the traffic light at all.
**[05:11] Misao**
Hmph. But I never expected
*Mito Komon Neo* to end.
**[05:16] Misao**
Why, all of a sudden?
**[05:17] Hina**
Oh. Maybe this explains it.
**[05:19] Miyu**
Show me!
**[05:20] Miyu**
"The popular Kansai-region
show *Girls, Girls, Girls*
**[05:24] Miyu**
will be aired in an evening time
slot on national network TV."
**[05:27] Miyu**
"In some regions, the program will
replace *Mito Komon Neo*..." What!?
**[05:31] Misao**
And that program is...
**[05:33] Hina**
The variety show we're appearing in.
**[05:35] Mizao**
Miyu?
**[05:37] Mizao**
Hey!
**[05:38] Miyu**
That settles it.
**[05:39] Hina**
Settles what?
**[05:40] Miyu**
Komon-sama doesn't deserve to be wiped out!
**[05:43] Miyu**
I'll save *Mito Komon Neo* myself! Just watch!
**[05:46] Misao**
Save it? How are you gonna do that?
**[05:48] Miyu**
In the show we're going on, if we
do well we get to sing, right?
**[05:52] Miyu**
Then we'll get picked and
sing our hearts out.
**[05:56] Miyu**
We'll sing the *Mito Komon Neo* theme song!
**[05:59] Miyu**
Everyone will remember how
awesome *Mito Komon Neo* is,
***SIGN*** Let us watch
Mito Komon Neo!
***SIGN*** Cancel the finale!
***SIGN*** Komon-sama is
invincible!
***SIGN*** Crush 'em!
**[06:03] Miyu**
and then there's no way the show will end!
**[06:05] Hina**
I don't think that's how anything works.
**[06:07] Miyu**
This is Ibaraki Prefecture's first
step toward conquering Japan!
**[06:12] Miyu**
Save the Komon-sama!
There ain't no other way!
**[06:16] Misao**
She's on fire.
**[06:21] Chitose**
What the heck? You gotta be kidding!
**[06:23] Chitose**
Goodwill ambassador or treadmill capacitor?
**[06:24] Chitose**
You can't win a sword duel with lip balm!
**[06:29] Iroha**
Tearin' it up as always.
**[06:31] Iroha**
Not sure when you'd use some
of that wordplay, though.
**[06:34] Chitose**
Iroha... What are you doing here?
**[06:36] Iroha**
I wanted to ask you something.
**[06:38] Iroha**
Those people were from a
comedy magazine, right?
**[06:40] Iroha**
I overheard some of it.
**[06:44] Chitose**
Oh.
**[06:45] Iroha**
Was it for an article or something?
**[06:47] Iroha**
But then why'd they only talk to you?
**[06:49] Chitose**
Who knows? Maybe they thought I look funny.
**[06:52] Chitose**
It's getting chilly. I'm going back.
**[06:58] Iroha**
Her lies are as bad as those jokes.
**[07:02] Iroha**
The filming location was
supposed to be around here.
***SIGN*** The Next Day
**[07:05] Chitose**
Hmm? What's going on?
**[07:08] Men**
Stop!
**[07:09] Man**
What?!
**[07:11] Kana**
Oh no! It's the mafia guys!
I don't wanna be the boss!
**[07:15] Kana**
Huh?
**[07:16] Man**
Wha!
**[07:17] Man**
L-Let me go! I didn't do anything!
**[07:20] Man**
S-Stop it! Let me go!
***SIGN*** Restaurant
**[07:23] Misao**
What the...
**[07:24] Akudai**
We're manhunting.
**[07:27] Iroha**
Aren't you that producer...?
**[07:29] Akudai**
I'm Akudai Kan.
**[07:31] Akudai**
Welcome to the *Girls, Girls, Girls* shoot.
**[07:34] Miyu**
"A-Aku daikan"? Like, the evil magistrate
who's Komon-sama's arch enemy?
***SIGN*** Akudai Kan
**[07:39] Akudai**
It's Akudai Kan. Make no mistake, cuties.
**[07:44] Chitose**
But what's this about manhunting?
**[07:46] Chitose**
That isn't a word you hear every day.
**[07:48] Akudai**
Well, I'm aiming for a show
that's nothing but cute girls
**[07:52] Akudai**
giggling and chattering away.
It'll be paradise!
**[07:55] Akudai**
It'll be like an amusement
park full of girls!
**[07:58] Akudai**
A zoo full of girls!
**[08:00] Akudai**
All the viewers want to see
are cute girls, you know.
**[08:04] Akudai**
So I pull all the men from the
streets whenever we're shooting.
**[08:09] Akudai**
If there's even one man on screen,
we'll get flamed online!
**[08:11] Kana**
But you don't count?
**[08:13] Akudai**
The viewers project themselves onto me.
**[08:15] Akudai**
That's how they can imagine themselves
as being a part of this girls' world.
**[08:19] Akudai**
So I'm fine.
**[08:20] Chitose**
I don't get it.
**[08:22] Akudai**
All right! Now that the distractions
are gone, we can start the shoot!
**[08:28] Akudai**
Let's make something special, my girls!
**[08:31] Akudai**
Okay then, the first challenge is...
**[08:34] Akudai**
"Quiz, Dash, Splash"!
**[08:36] Kana**
We got this!
**[08:37] Miyu**
We ain't losing!
**[08:38] Akudai**
The rules are simple.
***SIGN*** Girls!!
Girls!!!
**[08:40] Akudai**
If you think the statement
is true, run to the O.
**[08:44] Akudai**
If you think it's false, run to
the X. And dive right through!
**[08:47] Akudai**
If you run through the wrong wall,
**[08:49] Akudai**
there will be a penalty waiting
for you, so do be careful!
**[08:52] Kana**
We're going first.
**[08:54] Akudai**
First problem!
**[08:55] Akudai**
Grade schooler Mayumi-chan
started running to a junk shop
***SIGN*** Grade schooler Mayumi-chan started running to a junk shop
20 kilometers away at a speed of 4 kph.
An hour and a half after Mayumi-chan started,
an RS400 android took off in pursuit at a speed of 90 kph.
Mayumi-chan went straight to the junk shop,
not knowing that if the RS400 caught up,
it'd tear poor Mayumi-chan to pieces.
**[08:58] Akudai**
20 kilometers away at a speed of 4 kph.
**[09:00] Akudai**
An hour and a half after Mayumi-chan started,
**[09:01] Akudai**
an RS400 android took off in
pursuit at a speed of 90 kph.
**[09:03] Akudai**
Mayumi-chan went straight to the junk shop,
**[09:06] Akudai**
not knowing that if the RS400 caught up,
**[09:09] Akudai**
it'd tear poor Mayumi-chan to pieces.
**[09:09] Kana**
Isn't this a little long?
**[09:10] Akudai**
Here's the question: Mayumi-chan
is a girl. True or false?
**[09:16] Kana**
* Considering the producer and the*
* runner's name, the answer has to be "true."*
**[09:21] Kana**
* But this is a variety show. The whole point*
* is making someone get the penalty.*
**[09:25] Kana**
*So the one I gotta choose is...*
**[09:29] Kana**
* Mud? Or super-hot water? This is*
* my chance to show what I got!*
**[09:33] Akudai**
The correct answer is "true"!
"False" is incorrect!
**[09:34] Kana**
Come on!
**[09:37] Akudai**
The penalty waiting on the other side is...
**[09:40] Akudai**
A very high-quality mattress!
**[09:42] Kana**
Huh?
**[09:43] Akudai**
The cover of the mattress is
made from delicate 100% silk.
***SIGN*** Delicate 100% Silk
***SIGN*** Hungarian Down
**[09:47] Akudai**
The luxurious fabric will
envelop your body in comfort.
**[09:49] Akudai**
Additionally, the mattress padding
is made of Hungarian down,
**[09:53] Akudai**
giving the mattress warmth and support
**[09:55] Akudai**
that will keep you comfortable even in winter.
**[09:58] Kana**
Um...
**[10:00] Misao**
The penalty is way too easy!
**[10:03] Chitose**
What the heck? It's usually a mud pit!
**[10:05] Chitose**
Or super-hot water! Or a bed of nails!
**[10:07] Iroha**
Wouldn't a bed of nails be fatal?
**[10:09] Akudai**
They're so strict about regulations
and compliance these days.
**[10:12] Akudai**
And personally, I don't want any
scenes of girls getting dirty.
**[10:16] Chitose**
We don't need that type of kindness!
**[10:18] Chitose**
Besides, look at Kana!
**[10:19] Chitose**
She froze up because she doesn't
know how to have a funny reaction!
**[10:22] Chitose**
Her body might be totally relaxed,
but as a comedian, she's dying!
**[10:26] Akudai**
Ugh, fine. In that case, I'll make
it just a little bit painful.
**[10:30] Akudai**
Next problem!
**[10:32] Akudai**
Akari-chan is a cyborg.
***SIGN*** Akari-chan is a cyborg.
While Akari-chan is defeating
7 monsters and 47 combatants,
the evil organization manufactures
another 5 monsters and 70 combatants.
**[10:33] Akudai**
While Akari-chan is defeating
7 monsters and 47 combatants,
**[10:37] Akudai**
the evil organization manufactures
another 5 monsters and 70 combatants.
**[10:40] Akudai**
Akari-chan is a girl. True or false?
**[10:42] Chitose**
Seriously, that's way too much
info for the question!
**[10:45] Kana**
* The answer is "true." But I gotta*
* dive again for the laughs!*
**[10:50] Akudai**
The correct answer is "true"!
"False" is incorrect!
**[10:52] Kana**
*Let me have it this time!*
**[10:54] Akudai**
The penalty waiting on the other side is...
**[10:57] Akudai**
A very high-quality mattress
with black feathers!
**[11:00] Kana**
Huh?
**[11:02] Akudai**
Jet-black feathers that suggest
the frolicking of fallen angels.
**[11:05] Akudai**
Will their fluttering envelop
the world in darkness?
**[11:08] Akudai**
For people who enjoy a goth atmosphere,
**[11:11] Akudai**
we recommend this lovely mattress
covered in black feathers.
**[11:14] Akudai**
Black feathers, that cringy
symbol of adolescent angst!
**[11:17] Akudai**
Doesn't that bring back painful memories?
**[11:18] Chitose**
That isn't the right kind of pain!
**[11:21] Kana**
* I don't know how to have a*
* funny reaction to this.*
**[11:25] Akudai**
All right! The next challenge is...
**[11:28] Akudai**
"Smash-and-Helmet Rock-Paper-Scissors"!
**[11:31] Akudai**
Ready? Smash-and-helmet! Rock, paper, scissors!
**[11:35] Iroha**
Take that!
**[11:35] Hina**
Ow!
**[11:36] Miyu**
Hina! You gotta defend!
**[11:38] Hina**
Easy for you to say.
**[11:40] Akudai**
The loser's penalty is to
get her face scribbled on!
**[11:43] Hina**
Eh?!
**[11:46] Akudai**
A deep, luscious lipstick for the fall.
**[11:49] Hina**
Is this really me?
**[11:51] Misao**
That's not scribbling!
**[11:52] Misao**
You just gave her a makeover!
**[11:54] Miyu**
Yeah! You gotta scribble "meat" or
"poop" or something on her forehead!
**[11:58] Akudai**
How could we write anything
so crude on our girls?
**[12:01] Akudai**
Compliance!
**[12:03] ---**
All right, round two!
**[12:05] Akudai**
Smash-and-helmet! Rock, paper, scissors!
**[12:07] Iroha**
Take that!
**[12:08] Hina**
Aaah!
**[12:09] Akudai**
Penalty!
**[12:11] Akudai**
A subtly alluring eye shadow.
**[12:14] Hina**
Is this the true me?
**[12:15] Miyu**
Each time she loses,
Hina becomes more of a babe.
**[12:19] Misao**
This is about as far from
a penalty as you can get.
**[12:25] Kana**
Reporters? A-Are they photographing me?
**[12:28] Kana**
Oh, I gotta look pretty!
**[12:30] Chitose**
No. They're only after me.
**[12:33] Kana**
Huh? After you, Chitose-senpai?
That's great!
**[12:36] Chitose**
Not really. It isn't great at all.
**[12:40] Iroha**
Chitose?
***SIGN*** Grande Olde Performance Hall
***SIGN*** Grande Olde Performance Hall
***SIGN*** Grande Olde Performance Hall
***SIGN*** Grande Olde Performance Hall
***SIGN*** Grande Olde Performance Hall
***SIGN*** Grande Olde Performance Hall
**[12:44] Chisato**
What the heck!
**[12:45] Yuina**
We came here to study, but pro
comedians really are amazing!
**[12:50] Mone**
I wonder if these two are special, though.
**[12:53] Mone**
The Otoris, Kagero and Chisato.
**[12:55] Mone**
They're a legendary married manzai duo
that's been performing for 30 years.
**[12:58] Chihori**
Thirty years, huh? That's longer than
the life expectancy on Jupiter.
**[13:02] Chisato**
You've been great today!
**[13:04] Kagero**
Are we done?
**[13:05] Chisato**
Actually, we have some news we'd
like to share with you all today.
**[13:08] Chisato**
Our daughter is performing in the
qualifiers for the Teppen Grand Prix!
**[13:13] Yuina**
Daughter?
**[13:14] Kagero**
Everyone, please give our daughter,
Amano Chitose, your support.
**[13:18] All three**
Huh?!
***SIGN*** Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
***SIGN*** Bullet Kunoichi
***SIGN*** National Junior High Stand-Up Competition
**[13:25] (Flashback) Reporter A**
That was the highlight of the show!
**[13:27] (Flashback) Reporter B**
Anything to say to your parents?
**[13:29] Reporter A**
I guess the genius comedy duo
DNA isn't just for show.
**[13:30] Chitose**
Those people didn't come to see my routine.
**[13:32] Chitose**
They came for the story about
my ma and pa supporting me.
**[13:38] Chitose**
"A real thoroughbred.
**[13:39] Chitose**
Did your parents teach you comedy?
Did they write your skits for you?"
**[13:43] Chitose**
The same questions over
and over. So annoying.
**[13:46] Chitose**
Even though it's my own
work that got me there.
**[13:52] Chitose**
My old partners hated that
and kept quitting on me.
**[13:56] Chitose**
I feel pretty bad about that.
**[13:57] Iroha**
So the reporters earlier...?
**[14:00] Chitose**
They said they were following the miracle
story of the "thoroughbred" high schooler
**[14:03] Chitose**
who was about to dominate
the Teppen Grand Prix.
**[14:05] Chitose**
Even though there's no guarantee I'll win.
**[14:08] Chitose**
It's so stupid.
**[14:13] Iroha**
Why didn't you tell anyone until now?
**[14:15] Chitose**
Well, it's a nuisance, right?
**[14:17] Chitose**
Because of me, they might start
spreading rumors about you, too.
**[14:21] Chitose**
And if we win, they probably won't
give us any real credit for it.
**[14:25] Chitose**
I kept refusing their interview requests...
but they're so persistent.
**[14:29] Iroha**
Hmm. So you thought we'd turn
out like your other partners?
**[14:33] Iroha**
Both Kana and me?
**[14:37] Chitose**
I guess so. I think I was just scared.
**[14:40] Chitose**
I thought I'd end up alone
again if you found out.
**[14:44] Chitose**
That's why I just couldn't tell you.
**[14:50] Chitose**
I'm sorry. I know it looks
like I was lying to you.
**[14:54] Chitose**
If you want to quit, I've got
no right to stop you.
**[14:57] Chitose**
You don't have to stay for my sake.
**[15:05] Kana**
I won?
**[15:06] Akudai**
Yeah. I decided to pick
you to sing at the end.
**[15:10] Kana**
But shouldn't that go to the
girl who was funniest?
**[15:14] Akudai**
Nah, it's fine, it's fine.
**[15:16] Akudai**
Nobody watches girl variety
shows to see them be funny.
**[15:20] Kana**
Huh?
**[15:21] Akudai**
To be honest, I don't
really care about comedy.
**[15:24] Akudai**
Girls just need to be cute.
**[15:26] Akudai**
And that's what I thought
the first time I saw you.
**[15:29] Akudai**
You've got a thing about you, girl!
**[15:31] Akudai**
This is our chance! With me producing,
we'll make you an idol!
**[15:40] Saeka**
It's so peaceful today.
**[15:42] Hikari**
Oh? Are you going out?
**[15:44] Yomogi**
Yeah. My folks' takoyaki restaurant
got a huge take-out order.
**[15:48] Yayoi**
We're going to help!
**[15:50] Mako**
Should I go, too?
**[15:51] Yomogi**
Sure, but you won't get paid for it.
**[15:54] Mako**
Never mind, then.
**[15:55] Yuzu**
All right, we're off.
**[15:58] Saeka**
See you later.
**[16:05] Hina**
W-We're really gonna do this?
**[16:07] Misao**
Don't have a choice. Once she
gets going, there's no stopping her.
**[16:11] (Flashback) Miyu**
If it ends like this, we won't get our
chance to sing Komon-sama's song.
**[16:14] (Flashback) Misao**
No kidding. We didn't stand out at all.
**[16:18] (Flashback) Miyu**
Our only chance is to do it subliminally!
**[16:20] (Flashback) Hina**
What do you mean?
**[16:22] (Flashback) Miyu**
We'll instill the producer's mind
with good thoughts about Ibaraki.
**[16:25] (Flashback) Miyu**
If it works, a last-minute reversal
isn't out of the question!
**[16:27] (Flashback) Misao**
But how are we gonna do it?
**[16:39] Miyu**
* The best way to impress him*
* is with a taste of Ibaraki.*
**[16:42] Miyu**
*Nothing beats monkfish stew for that!*
**[16:46] Miyu**
*Slowly, slowly...*
**[16:50] Miyu**
*Oh crap!*
**[16:51] Akudai**
Ow!
**[16:52] Akudai**
I dreamed some bullies gave me a
cigarette burn on my face.
**[16:55] Akudai**
What the...? Huh?
**[16:58] Miyu**
* Monkfish stew isn't gonna work.*
* In that case...*
***SIGN*** Yam Jerky
**[17:04] Miyu**
* I'll give him a taste of*
* dried Ibaraki taters.*
**[17:09] Miyu**
*Slowly, slowly...*
**[17:11] Miyu**
Oh dang!
**[17:12] Akudai**
Aaah!
**[17:16] ---**
I don't know why,
**[17:17] Akudai**
but I've suddenly developed
an irrational hatred for Ibaraki.
**[17:21] Miyu**
I-It's all in your head!
Don't pay attention to that!
**[17:24] Hina**
Looks like you just instilled hatred.
**[17:26] Misao**
Sure does.
**[17:28] Akudai**
Let's put that behind us.
**[17:31] Akudai**
The final challenge is
"Girls' Paintball Match"!
**[17:33] Akudai**
Let's do it all cute and fluffy!
**[17:35] Chitose**
Huh? Where's Kana?
**[17:37] Kana**
Thanks for waiting!
**[17:40] Iroha**
Kana?!
**[17:41] Chitose**
You're an Amazon now?!
**[17:44] Akudai**
Paintball match, start!
**[17:47] Kana**
Gotcha!
**[18:13] Akudai**
Stop!
**[18:14] Akudai**
What's with the primitive battle tactics?!
**[18:17] Akudai**
This isn't the survival game I wanted!
**[18:19] Akudai**
I mean, it isn't cute at all!
**[18:22] Kana**
I don't care.
**[18:23] Akudai**
Don't you wanna sing?
**[18:25] Kana**
I think it would feel great.
**[18:28] Kana**
But once I started singing, the big
management companies would come knocking.
**[18:31] Kana**
I'd get my idol debut, crush a coliseum tour,
and then make it big in North America.
**[18:37] Kana**
But I don't wanna be an idol!
**[18:41] Kana**
I wanna do comedy!
**[18:42] Akudai**
Huh?
**[18:43] Kana**
When I was still living in my
own world and creeping everyone out,
**[18:47] Kana**
Chitose-senpai told me I was funny.
**[18:49] Kana**
She invited me to do comedy with her!
**[18:52] Kana**
She gave me a purpose.
**[18:55] Chitose**
Kana...
**[18:56] Kana**
I don't care about being cute.
**[18:57] Kana**
I wanna stick with my awesome senpais
and make the entire world laugh!
**[19:02] Akudai**
Why am I the target?!
**[19:04] Iroha**
Do you remember, Chitose, back when
we started Kunoichi as a duo?
**[19:05] ---**
Get back here!
**[19:06] ---**
Stop it! No, no, no!
**[19:10] ---**
Get back here, you villain!
**[19:10] Iroha**
We did all right, but after a while,
it felt like we hit a wall.
**[19:13] ---**
Leave me alone!
**[19:14] Iroha**
That's when we found Kana.
**[19:17] Iroha**
She kept acting crazy and
screwing up our rhythm,
**[19:21] Iroha**
like a bullet ricocheting all around!
**[19:24] Iroha**
I thought we could go
even further with her.
**[19:27] Iroha**
That's why we teamed up, remember?
As Bullet Kunoichi.
**[19:30] Iroha**
This thing you've pulled together
**[19:32] Iroha**
won't be torn apart that easily.
**[19:35] Chitose**
That's right.
**[19:37] Iroha**
We can do it. The three of us.
**[19:39] Iroha**
Bust through all the adults' tiny
imaginations and narrow boundaries,
**[19:43] Iroha**
and reach even higher!
**[19:45] Chitose**
You're right!
**[19:48] Chitose**
We'll make it happen!
**[19:50] Miyu**
If you guys are gonna get so
serious about it, then so are we!
**[19:55] Miyu**
Suke-san, Kaku-san, let's have at 'em!
**[19:57] Hina & Misao**
Yeah!
**[19:58] Miyu**
There!
**[20:00] Kana**
Give it all you got!
**[20:01] Akudai**
I don't get it! This isn't cute at all!
**[20:06] Kana**
Carrying on the family business.
**[20:08] Kana**
means you're always
compared to your parents!
**[20:10] Kana**
My parents sold table fans,
**[20:12] Kana**
and people always told me I didn't
get around as much as they did.
**[20:15] Iroha**
Am I doing stand-up with appliances?
**[20:18] Chitose**
I get your point, but does it really
matter who your parents are?
**[20:21] Chitose**
You gotta shatter everyone's expectations
**[20:23] Chitose**
and reach higher than anyone
ever imagined you could.
**[20:26] Chitose**
That's been my bright idea.
**[20:27] Kana**
You're so positive, it's blinding me!
**[20:29] Kana**
Did your parents do work with light bulbs?
**[20:31] Chitose**
What are you on about?
**[20:32] Chitose**
Time to switch you off.
**[20:35] All three**
Thanks, everyone!
**[20:52] Akudai**
This isn't what I...
**[20:54] Akudai**
What happened to my cute paradise?
**[20:57] Yomogi**
We've brought your food order!
**[20:59] Yomogi**
Delicious takoyaki! Get it while it's... hot?
**[21:03] Yayoi**
What happened here?
**[21:04] Yuzu**
Was there a battle or something?
**[21:06] Yomogi**
Oh!
**[21:07] Yomogi**
Um, are you all right?
**[21:17] Akudai**
I've found them!
**[21:20] Yomogi**
Huh?
**[21:21] Akudai**
You are my ideal girl!
**[21:23] Akudai**
Sing for me on my show!
**[21:26] Yomogi**
Huh?!
***SIGN*** Girls Girls Girls
**[21:35] Yomogi**
* You were fished out of the*
* ocean around Akashi one day*
**[21:38] Yayoi & Yuzu**
*You're so fresh*
**[21:39] Yomogi**
* The batter with that broth flavor,*
* that's from the mix I made*
**[21:44] Yayoi & Yuzu**
*So nice and thin*
**[21:45] Yomogi**
*I'll grill you up so good this time*
**[21:48] Yomogi**
* Crisp outside, but fluffy inside,*
* that's the way*
**[21:53] All three**
*Tastes so right*
**[21:55] Akudai**
I've found my new path in life!
**[22:01] Yuzu & Yayoi**
Hee hee hee!
**[22:03] Yomogi**
I'll never live this down.
**[22:10] Yomogi**
*That hopeless feeling makes you blue*
**[22:15] Yomogi**
* When things don't turn*
* out like they should*
**[22:17] Yuzu & Yayoi**
*It's hot, it's hot*
**[22:18] Yomogi**
*So I'll make it hot, but you won't cry*
**[22:22] Yomogi**
*I know that's how you'll want to have it*
**[22:27] Yomogi**
*Don't hide it away, that's what they say*
**[22:28] Yuzu & Yayoi**
*There's one in every home*
**[22:31] Yomogi**
*It's such a basic thing, you see*
**[22:34] Yuzu & Yayoi**
*The takoyaki grill*
**[22:35] Yomogi**
* You've got to think about how*
* meaningless the days feel*
**[22:39] Yuzu & Yayoi**
*Your recipe*
**[22:40] Yomogi**
*When it's left dusty*
**[22:44] Yuzu & Yayoi**
*Tastes so right*
**[22:45] Yomogi**
* I'll hold your leg so tightly*
* and stay real close to you*
**[22:49] Yuzu & Yayoi**
*Hug your leg*
**[22:50] Yomogi**
* I know I won't be able to see*
* when you turn red though*
**[22:54] Yuzu & Yayoi**
*Well, that's true*
**[22:55] Yomogi**
*But once I've got us held together so tight*
**[22:57] Yuzu & Yayoi**
*Takoyaki*
**[22:59] Yomogi**
*That's when we're truly one, you know*
**[23:02] Yomogi**
* You were fished out of the*
* ocean around Akashi one day*
**[23:05] Yayoi & Yuzu**
*You're so fresh*
**[23:06] Yomogi**
* The batter with that broth flavor,*
* that's from the mix I made*
**[23:11] Yayoi & Yuzu**
*So nice and thin*
**[23:12] Yomogi**
*I'll grill you up so good this time*
**[23:15] Yomogi**
* Crisp outside, but fluffy inside,*
* that's the way*
**[23:19] Yayoi & Yuzu**
*We bought some*
**[23:23] All three**
*Tastes so right*
***SIGN*** The Salon Chapter
# E4 - The Salon Chapter
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GMKUX79K3/the-salon-chapter)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:03] Saeka**
Good afternoon.
**[00:05] Saeka**
Everything has its price.
What's your laughter worth?
**[00:07] all three**
We're Celebri-Tea.
**[00:09] Mako**
We'll pay whatever it takes,
so laugh a lot, okay?
**[00:11] Hikari**
You're buying them out from the start?
**[00:14] Hikari**
I mean, that idea is as dark
as black sugar dorayaki.
***SIGN*** Jogasaki Confectionery
Black Sugar Dorayaki (580 yen)
**[00:17] Saeka**
When you have too much money, sometimes it's
hard to decide what to spend it on.
**[00:22] Mako**
I totally get it.
**[00:27] TV Announcer**
* International movie director*
* Jovijouva Mokkosu,*
**[00:29] TV Announcer**
* who is making waves in Hollywood, has arrived*
* in Japan for the premiere of his new film,*
**[00:34] TV Announcer**
**Star Shark: The Dorsal Awakens*.*
***SIGN*** Star Shark
~ The Dorsal Awakens ~
**[00:39] TV Announcer**
*The post-premiere party*
**[00:41] TV Announcer**
* will include top celebrities from all*
* over Japan and is already turning heads.*
**[00:51] Seiji**
I can beat that.
**[00:53] [SONG] all**
Yeah!
**[00:53] [SONG] Yomogi**
So, what's comedy?
**[00:54] [SONG] Yayoi**
Yo!
**[00:55] [SONG] Yuzu**
Tough question, for me
**[00:56] [SONG] Yayoi**
What could it be?
It's too far out to see!
**[00:57] [SONG] Yuzu & Yomogi**
Be! See!
**[00:58] [SONG] Yomogi**
Boke and tsukkomi, in the zone
**[00:58] [SONG] Yayoi**
Ye ye, in the zone!
**[01:00] [SONG] Yuzu**
We got god-tier jokes on the horizon
**[01:00] [SONG] Yayoi & Yomogi**
God! Horizon!
**[01:02] [SONG] Kana**
Wanna see us split into bunshin
**[01:02] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Yeah!
**[01:03] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Bullets!
**[01:03] [SONG] Kana**
And hear gags flying at you like bullets?
**[01:05] [SONG] Kana**
Leave it to comedy ninjas!
**[01:06] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Nin-nin!
**[01:07] [SONG] Saeka**
High society, celebrity
**[01:07] [SONG] Hikari & Mako**
High! Celebrity!
**[01:08] [SONG] Saeka**
The cleanest jokes are our priority
**[01:10] [SONG] Hikari & Mako**
Priority!
**[01:11] [SONG] Miyu**
Yeah, Akudare, making you all laugh
**[01:11] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Yeah!
**[01:12] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Ah! Ah!
**[01:13] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back!
**[01:13] [SONG] Miyu**
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back
**[01:15] [SONG] Yuina**
We. Are. The. Invaders. Yo.
**[01:16] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
Ah Invaders
**[01:17] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
That should tell you all you need to know
**[01:18] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
Need to know!
**[01:19] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Yeah!
**[01:19] [SONG] Yuzu**
Shake it up, Wai-Wai!
**[01:19] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Wai-Wai!
**[01:20] [SONG] Yomogi**
Heat up the timeline!
**[01:21] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Timeline!
**[01:21] [SONG] Yayoi**
Scramble for the win,
we won't give up our pride
**[01:23] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Pride!
**[01:24] [SONG] Yomogi**
Found a new line
**[01:24] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Oh!
**[01:24] [SONG] Yuzu**
Gonna sweep the prime time
**[01:26] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Oh!
**[01:26] [SONG] Yayoi**
Who's on top then?
**[01:27] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Gotta take the Teppen!
**[01:27] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina**
Take it to the top
**[01:29] [SONG] all call**
Doin' it for real!
**[01:30] [SONG] Kana; Saeka**
We'll show you, giving everything
we got, oh yeah
**[01:31] [SONG] all call**
Oh yeah
**[01:32] [SONG] Miyu; Yuina**
Gonna face the challenge head-on
**[01:32] [SONG] all call**
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
**[01:34] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina**
Running straight ahead
**[01:34] [SONG] all call**
Yo! Yo! Yo!
**[01:36] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai**
Take it to the top
**[01:36] [SONG] all call**
Yeah that's right!
**[01:38] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai**
It's show
**[01:39] [SONG] Yomogi**
Don't slow down to hear them
call you funny, not a day
**[01:41] [SONG] Yuzu**
You'll never reach the top that way
**[01:41] [SONG] all call**
Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh yeah!
**[01:43] [SONG] Yayoi**
You know it's true, what we say
**[01:45] [SONG] all call**
Hey!
**[01:47] [SONG] all sing**
But this isn't about us just getting a laugh
**[01:49] [SONG] all call**
Yeah! Yeah!
**[01:52] [SONG] all sing**
That's not why we're here
It's much bigger, bigger than all that
**[01:55] [SONG] all call**
All that
**[01:56] [SONG] all sing**
We want to get
**[01:56] [SONG] all call**
We want to get, yeah!
**[01:59] [SONG] all sing**
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
**[01:59] [SONG] all call**
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
**[02:04] [SONG] all sing**
Yeah if we are the ones
that are making you laugh
**[02:04] [SONG] all call**
Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye!
**[02:09] [SONG] all sing**
We gotta go so hard it'll really,
really give us that, you know?
**[02:13] [SONG] all sing**
Top of the laugh
**[02:13] [SONG] all call**
Top of the laugh Ye~ah!
**[02:16] [SONG] all sing**
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way.
We're gonna make it to the top one day!
**[02:16] [SONG] all call**
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way,
oh! We're gonna make it to the top one day!
**[02:21] [SONG] Yayoi**
Aw yeah!
***SIGN*** The Salon Chapter
***SIGN*** Bullet Kunoichi
**[02:29] Kana**
Hey, take a look at this.
**[02:30] Chitose**
What's up? Internet news?
**[02:32] Kana**
It's an article about the Kuidaoren't Doll,
but the interview is weird.
**[02:36] Chitose**
Interview with who?
**[02:38] Kana**
Lookit.
***SIGN*** The Kuidaoren't Doll Speaks: "I'm tired."
**[02:39] Chitose**
How the heck is the
Kuidaoren't Doll speaking?
**[02:42] Iroha**
This is one of those clickbait articles.
**[02:44] Iroha**
The writer does zero research
and just makes up fake news.
**[02:48] Chitose**
Well, this news is a little too fake.
***SIGN*** Invaders
**[02:49] Mone**
Check out this web news article.
**[02:51] Mone**
A buttercream sandwich cookie shop
in Hokkaido is getting piled on.
**[02:55] Yuina**
Who's making the complaints?
**[02:57] Chihori**
Cows?
**[02:58] Mone**
Uh-huh. Cows on Earth are able to talk.
***SIGN*** Gokkatei
***SIGN*** The Cows Complain
— Their Brave Accusations —
"We feel harmed by
being milked too much."
**[03:00] Yuina**
That can't be right!
***SIGN*** Young Wai-Wai
***SIGN*** Takoyaki VS Okonomiyaki
Finally All-Out War!!
***SIGN*** Okonomiyaki?
That stuff's just
a random mess of
NPC ingredients.
***SIGN*** Takoyaki would
be way better
without the octopus!
**[03:11] Yayoi**
If it was gonna come to this,
we never should have gotten together!
**[03:15] Yomogi**
No regrets! This was our destiny.
**[03:18] Yuzu**
Stop! Why are you letting the article
brainwash you into fighting!
**[03:22] Yayoi**
Oh, sorry! I got carried away.
**[03:24] Yuzu**
An interview with takoyaki and
okonomiyaki is too over-the-top.
**[03:28] Yomogi**
When news gets this fake,
it basically turns into comedy.
**[03:31] Yuzu**
What kind of person would write this?
**[03:33] Yuzu**
"White Wall"?
***SIGN*** Author: White Wall
**[03:35] Kana**
White Wall?
**[03:36] Yuina**
White Wall?
**[03:38] Chihori**
What is it, Yuina?
**[03:39] Yuina**
You know, I kind of feel
like it means something.
**[03:45] Mako**
What the...?
**[03:47] Yomogi**
How much would someone
get paid to write that?
**[03:49] Yayoi**
I think it's a few yen per word.
**[03:51] Yomogi**
Paid by the pound, like meat.
**[03:53] Yayoi**
Huh? Mako-chan, what's wrong?
**[03:55] Mako**
Hmm. One sec...
**[03:56] Yomogi**
Is something wrong with your laptop?
**[03:58] Mako**
It froze all of a sudden.
**[04:00] Yuzu**
Let me see it for a sec.
**[04:02] Mako**
You know what you're doing?
**[04:03] Yayoi**
Yuzu was once known as the
master hacker Lord Orange.
**[04:08] Mako**
Really?
**[04:08] Yuzu**
Don't make up stories about me!
**[04:12] Yuzu**
How's that?
**[04:13] Yayoi**
It's fixed!
**[04:14] Mako**
Wow! Thank you!
**[04:16] Yomogi**
Huh?
***SIGN*** Takoyaki vs. Okonomiyaki
Finally All-Out War!!
Author: White Wall
**[04:19] Yayoi**
White Wall?!
**[04:21] Mako**
Ah!
**[04:22] Yuzu**
Oh! If you translate Mako's
family name, Shirakabe, to English...
**[04:24] Yomogi**
...it means White Wall!
**[04:26] Yayoi**
So Mako-chan is...
**[04:27] Mako**
Ugh.
**[04:28] Yuzu**
Why are you writing clickbait articles?
**[04:31] Mako**
I mean, I kind of need to make money.
**[04:34] Yayoi**
Make money?
**[04:35] Yayoi**
But isn't everyone in Celebri-Tea super rich?
**[04:37] Yayoi**
Why would you need money?
**[04:39] Mako**
Well...
**[04:40] Kana**
I burned too many calories
reading that dumb article.
**[04:43] Kana**
Now I'm hungry!
**[04:44] Mone**
Me too.
**[04:45] Mako**
I-I'll tell you in your room. Let's go!
**[04:48] Young Wai-Wai**
Uh, what? Hey, don't push! Ouch! Stop it!
**[04:50] Chitose**
What now?
***SIGN*** Young Wai-Wai
**[04:53] Yayoi; Yomogi; Yuzu**
You're poor?
**[04:54] Mako**
Yeah. I'm actually not rich or famous at all.
**[04:57] Mako**
I've been lying the whole time.
**[04:59] Yuzu**
Now that you mention it, yeah.
**[05:02] Yomogi**
A few things did seem off.
**[05:05] Yayoi**
I still don't think that's a
reason to write stuff like that.
**[05:08] Mako**
I know!
**[05:09] Mako**
But I really need to scrape up
money, and I only have a week.
**[05:14] Yomogi**
One week? There's no way!
**[05:15] Yuzu**
Why would you need to do that?
**[05:17] Mako**
Jovijouva Mokkosu is in Japan, right?
**[05:20] Mako**
His party is in a week,
**[05:22] Mako**
and Saeka's company is one of the
movie's sponsors, so we got invited—
**[05:27] Mako**
all of us in Celebri-Tea.
**[05:29] Yayoi**
Wow, that's so cool!
**[05:31] Mako**
No, it isn't!
**[05:32] Mako**
The party will be full of celebrities,
so I need a good dress to wear.
**[05:36] Mako**
But I don't have anything like that!
**[05:39] Yuzu**
So that's what the money's for.
**[05:40] Mako**
If I don't have a dress, Saeka and Hikari
will find out that I'm not actually rich.
**[05:46] Mako**
If that happens, I...
**[05:48] Yomogi**
I don't know much about it, but don't
celebrities' dresses cost like six figures?
**[05:52] Yomogi**
You can't earn that in a week.
**[05:54] Yuzu**
That leaves us only one choice.
**[05:56] Yayoi**
What?
**[05:57] Yuzu**
Cryptocurrency.
**[05:59] Yomogi**
That stuff is super dangerous for
amateurs to get mixed up in!
**[06:03] Mako**
Cryptocurrency...
**[06:11] Mako**
That takes care of the account.
**[06:13] Mako**
But I still don't understand
it at all. What should I do?
***SIGN*** My Account Cash Transaction Leverage Transaction Japanese Yen -> Cryptocurrency Cryptocurrency -> Japanese Yen Support Chat E-Mail Phone
***SIGN*** Trading Capacity: yen Deposit
Buy Sell History
***SIGN*** 1 Minute 1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month 1 Year
**[06:20] Mako**
Okay. That settles it, then.
**[06:23] Mako**
Please let it go up!
**[06:39] Mako**
Huh?!
***SIGN*** Chitty Chitty What's the Best Way to Make Money?
• Manzai • Street Musician
• Takoyaki Business • Crafting with Empty Cans
• Bounty Hunting • Recycling
• Telephone Scam Definitely not!
**[06:41] Yayoi**
We've spent four days thinking about it,
but we still don't have any good ideas.
**[06:50] Yayoi**
Mako-chan?
**[06:51] Yomogi**
What's wrong?
**[06:52] Mako**
The c-crypto is...
**[06:53] Yuzu**
Oh no, did you do it?
**[06:55] Yomogi**
I told you to stay away
from gambling like that!
**[06:58] Mako**
I f... I f...
**[07:00] Mako**
I frickin' scored!
**[07:02] Young Wai-Wai**
Huh?!
**[07:04] Mako**
I bought some randomly, and in the morning,
they were almost worth triple.
**[07:09] Mako**
So I kept using the same method,
**[07:12] Mako**
and made tons of money!
**[07:13] Yayoi**
How much do you have now?
**[07:15] Mako**
This much.
***SIGN*** Total Asset Value
**[07:16] Yomogi**
That's a huge amount.
**[07:18] Yomogi**
You could buy out my entire family business.
**[07:21] Yayoi**
Wow!
**[07:22] Yuzu**
I had no idea you had this kind of talent.
**[07:24] Yayoi**
Nice work! Now you can
buy any dress you want!
**[07:28] Mako**
No, not yet.
**[07:29] Mako**
I've made so much already,
it would be a waste to stop now.
**[07:34] Mako**
If I keep gambling and making more and more,
maybe I can become rich and famous for real!
**[07:38] Mako**
Just like Saeka and Hikari.
**[07:40] Yuzu**
I know how you feel,
but what about the risk?
**[07:43] Yuzu**
If you mess up, you could lose it all.
**[07:47] Mako**
Obviously, I'm not going to
bet everything on crypto.
**[07:51] Mako**
I also started a blog.
**[07:52] Mako**
When I posted my earnings since yesterday,
a bunch of people got interested.
***SIGN*** Total Asset Value
***SIGN*** Cash
***SIGN*** Savings
***SIGN*** Cryptocurrency
***SIGN*** Securities
***SIGN*** Cards
***SIGN*** Digital Currency
***SIGN*** Points
***SIGN*** Other Income
***SIGN*** Tea with Money
Shirakabe Mako Official Blog
***SIGN*** Views:
***SIGN*** Are you still shopping without crypto?
***SIGN*** Topic: Money
***SIGN*** Good afternoon, everyone!
It's finally time for you to level up.
**[07:57] Yomogi**
That's an insane number of views!
**[07:59] Mako**
With this many views, I'll start
gobbling up ad revenue, too!
**[08:04] Mako**
Mwahahaha...
**[08:07] Yayoi**
Mako-chan's glowing!
**[08:08] Yuzu**
It's her celebrity aura!
Her celeb aura has awakened!
**[08:12] Mako**
And that ain't all.
***SIGN*** Mako Channel
**[08:13] Mako**
I started streaming, too!
***SIGN*** Anyone Can Do It
***SIGN*** Pencil Method
I'll Teach You How to Score Big with Crypto
**[08:16] Yuzu**
Impeccable presentation.
**[08:17] Yomogi**
Insane subscriber count!
***SIGN*** #Crypto
Anyone can do it!
I'll teach you how to master crypto with the pencil method!
***SIGN*** Mako
Channel Subscribers:
376,000
***SIGN*** 6245 Comments
Salary King 8 Hours Ago
The Pencil Superstar's lesson was so helpful.
Good Money 11 Hours Ago
I loved this lesson from the Pencil Superstar!
**[08:20] Yayoi**
Pencil Superstar?
**[08:22] Mako**
Just a little nickname.
**[08:23] Mako**
It exploded overnight, and now I'm
famous in some parts of the web.
**[08:27] Mako**
My videos already have one million views.
**[08:30] Mako**
I should get a ton of ad
revenue from that, too.
***SIGN*** Posts
***SIGN*** Followers
***SIGN*** Follow
***SIGN*** Request Follow
***SIGN*** Following
**[08:34] Mako**
They're blowing! The winds of
fame and fortune are blowing!
**[08:37] Yayoi**
It's a storm! The yen pressure
system is creating a storm!
**[08:40] Yuzu**
The yen pressure system is shaking the atmosphere!
**[08:42] Yomogi**
What the heck is a yen pressure system?!
**[08:43] Mako**
But that isn't enough for me!
**[08:46] Mako**
So far, I'm just nouveau riche.
**[08:48] Mako**
If I want to be truly rich and famous,
**[08:50] Mako**
I need a life that makes
people really jealous!
**[08:52] Yayoi**
She's getting a ton of comments.
***SIGN*** Money Money 3 Minutes Ago
If Mako-chan holds a seminar,
I definitely want to participate!!!!
**[08:54] Yuzu**
It says, "If Mako-chan holds a seminar,
I definitely want to participate."
**[08:58] Mako**
That's it!
**[08:59] Yuzu**
You're going to hold a seminar?
**[09:01] Mako**
Tsk, tsk, tsk...
**[09:02] Mako**
There's only one of me,
**[09:04] Mako**
and there's a limit to how many
people can attend a seminar.
**[09:06] Mako**
It'd be inefficient.
**[09:08] Mako**
There's an easier way.
**[09:10] Mako**
Yeah, I'll do an online salon!
**[09:12] Yayoi**
Online salon?
**[09:14] Mako**
The organizer gets people together
online to share information
**[09:17] Mako**
and hold different kinds of
events. It's like a club.
**[09:21] Yomogi**
I still don't get it.
**[09:22] Yomogi**
It sounds like you're trying to bottle
and sell tap water. It's kind of scary.
**[09:25] Yayoi**
You should try it too, Yomogi!
**[09:27] Yayoi**
But do it like you're selling
takoyaki instead of water.
**[09:29] Yomogi**
That would just make me
a traveling salesman.
**[09:32] Yuzu**
But won't it take a lot of work to get
an online salon up and running?
***SIGN*** Tea with Money
***SIGN*** Membership Fee
10,000 Per Month
**[09:35] Mako**
It's ready!
***SIGN*** Membership Fee
10,000 Per Month
**[09:36] Yayoi**
Too fast!
**[09:38] Mako**
Just wait, Saeka, Hikari.
**[09:41] Mako**
I'll show you. I'll become
rich and famous, too!
***SIGN*** Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
**[09:49] Saeka**
We certainly have a large
number of sweets to advertise.
**[09:53] Hikari**
I couldn't help it.
**[09:54] Hikari**
My father isn't interested in comedy at all.
**[09:57] Hikari**
He'll only let me do the Teppen Grand Prix
if I plug our sweets during the routine.
**[10:02] Saeka**
Normally, Mako would be
gobbling them up by now.
**[10:05] Hikari**
She's been spending a lot of time
with Young Wai-Wai lately.
**[10:08] Saeka**
Shall we bring them some later, then?
**[10:14] Yayoi**
Wow!
***SIGN*** Tea with Money
***SIGN*** Registered:
**[10:16] Yayoi**
You've already got more than
10,000 people signed up!
**[10:18] Yuzu**
And you just set it up yesterday!
**[10:20] Yomogi**
But what in the world are you wearing?
**[10:22] Mako**
My superstar status calls
for superstar fashion!
**[10:26] Mako**
Oh, it's time for the online salon.
**[10:29] Member**
* And so, I'd really like to ask*
* your advice about what I need*
**[10:32] Member**
*for the next step of my business scheme.*
**[10:35] Yayoi**
Hey, what's a "scheme"?
**[10:37] Yomogi**
It's super helpful for cleaning
stuff like a takoyaki grill.
**[10:40] Yomogi**
You just blast it with hot water vapor.
**[10:42] Yuzu**
Eh-heh, isn't that steam?
**[10:43] Mako**
Basically, I think the important
thing is commitment.
**[10:47] Mako**
When you adjust for the results,
**[10:49] Mako**
it has the benefit of maximizing your synergy.
**[10:51] Mako**
Brush up your commitment
to make it a prioritization,
**[10:54] Mako**
so you can initiative consensus, and then
**[10:57] Mako**
your rice curry will bring
forth a win-win wiener bomb
**[10:59] Mako**
that you can wish on a hamburger man!
**[11:01] Yayoi**
M-Mako-chan's speaking a foreign language!
**[11:04] Yomogi**
Speaking only in Japanese could get you
kicked out of the online salon world.
**[11:08] Mako**
Phew!
**[11:09] Yayoi**
Mako-chan, that was amazing!
What did all that stuff mean?
**[11:13] Mako**
I don't have the slightest clue.
**[11:14] Yayoi**
Huh?!
**[11:15] Mako**
I just strung together some words
I found online that looked good.
**[11:19] Yomogi**
But your viewers looked convinced.
**[11:21] Mako**
The important thing is mood, not meaning.
**[11:24] Mako**
That's just how it works.
**[11:25] Yuzu**
That can't really be true.
**[11:27] Mako**
I've already reached 10,000 members,
**[11:30] Mako**
and each membership costs 10,000 yen.
**[11:32] Mako**
So add it all up, and...
**[11:36] Mako**
If I earn this much every month, I'm rich!
**[11:40] Mako**
I'd totally live up to the celeb name!
**[11:43] Mako**
I'll be the definition of rich and famous!
**[11:45] Yayoi**
I can see it! The castle of
gold shining behind you!
**[11:48] Yuzu**
And the yen pressure system
could split the world in half!
**[11:51] Yomogi**
Seriously, what's a yen pressure system?!
**[11:53] Mako**
Heh. But that ain't all.
I'm gonna keep hitting the jackpot!
**[11:58] Yayoi**
Come in.
**[12:00] Saeka**
We wanted to share these with you.
**[12:02] Saeka**
Thank you for always being so kind to Mako.
**[12:04] Mako**
Saeka!
**[12:05] Yayoi**
Wow! Thank you!
**[12:08] Mako**
W-What?
**[12:11] Saeka**
Your brow is furrowed.
**[12:13] Mako**
Huh?
**[12:14] Saeka**
Celebri-Tea should always be
proper and elegant. Right?
**[12:20] Mako**
*My face looks... so trashy right now.*
**[12:23] Yuzu**
Huh?
**[12:25] Yuzu**
One of the salon members has a suggestion.
**[12:28] Yayoi**
He says he wants to sell power pencils that
are infused with Mako-chan's abilities.
**[12:32] Yomogi**
What the heck is a power pencil?
***SIGN*** Eggplant Mang
***SIGN*** I'd even buy one for 10,000 yen!
***SIGN*** ×〇△-kun
***SIGN*** I'll buy one!
***SIGN*** A suggestion!
I'd like to sell Mako-san pencils
that are infused with
Mako-san's powers.
**[12:35] Yuzu**
This guy's saying he'd
pay 10,000 yen for one.
**[12:37] Mako**
Seriously?!
**[12:38] Yuzu**
Oh! Look at all the pre-orders!
**[12:40] Yuzu**
This is going to make you
even richer, Mako-chan!
**[12:43] Mako**
Y-Yeah...
**[12:45] Mako**
* Is this really going to bring me*
* closer to Saeka and Hikari?*
**[12:51] Mako**
*To* those *two?*
**[12:53] Yayoi**
Ah! Another fun suggestion.
An online handshake event!
**[12:56] Yomogi**
Don't the thrills come from
actually shaking hands, though?
**[12:59] Yayoi**
They'll be *virtual* thrills!
**[13:01] Yuzu**
50,000 yen each...
***SIGN*** I'd like to participate.
Sign me up.
Definitely!
Yes, please.
**[13:03] Yuzu**
But so many people are interested!
**[13:05] Yomogi**
Another huge profit...
**[13:07] Yayoi**
Check out this one!
**[13:08] Yayoi**
"Sell the rights to be reincarnated
in a virtual world
**[13:11] Yayoi**
after being virtually run over by
Mako-chan driving a virtual truck."
**[13:14] Yomogi**
There's not a scrap of product there.
**[13:15] Yuzu**
But it's already flooded with requests!
**[13:18] Mako**
*The money... It just keeps coming!*
**[13:21] Mako**
*But the thing I really wanted to be is...*
**[13:24] Yayoi**
Another one! "Get an online
roundhouse kick from Mako-chan..."
**[13:26] Mako**
Enough!
**[13:29] Yayoi**
Mako-chan?
**[13:31] Mako**
I can't do it like this.
**[13:35] Mako**
I first saw them at our high school
entrance ceremony.
**[13:38] Mako**
Saeka and Hikari seemed to be a
different color than everyone else.
**[13:42] Yuzu**
A different color?
**[13:43] Mako**
They weren't like anyone else.
**[13:45] Mako**
It's as if they were colored in
with paints made just for them.
**[13:48] Mako**
That's what it looked like to me.
**[13:51] Mako**
But of course they did.
**[13:52] Mako**
One was the heiress to the
biggest tea company in Japan.
**[13:56] Mako**
The other was the heiress to
a legendary sweets company.
**[13:59] Mako**
They were both born special.
They were so lucky.
**[14:02] Mako**
I knew we came from different worlds,
**[14:05] Mako**
but when I saw how excited they
got talking about comedy,
**[14:09] Mako**
I just had to meet them.
**[14:10] Mako**
You know how unusual it is to
find women seriously into comedy.
**[14:14] Yuzu**
I sure do.
**[14:15] Mako**
I wanted to become friends,
even though I was so different.
**[14:20] Mako**
And before I knew it,
**[14:22] Mako**
I was lying to them and saying
I was the daughter of a CEO, too.
**[14:26] Yayoi**
So the reason you needed
all that money was...
**[14:29] Mako**
If I kept lying, I knew I'd
eventually blow my cover.
**[14:33] Mako**
If I actually became rich and famous, though,
**[14:35] Mako**
I thought the three of us could
become real friends at last.
**[14:41] Mako**
But this isn't the right way.
**[14:43] Mako**
I can't really explain it, but even
if I get rich and famous this way,
**[14:46] Mako**
I still don't think I'd be on their level.
**[14:49] Mako**
So...
**[14:52] Mako**
I'll do it *my* way instead!
**[14:55] Yomogi**
What are you doing now?
**[14:57] Mako**
Real celebrities are people
that everyone looks up to.
**[15:01] Mako**
They're almost dreamlike.
**[15:02] Mako**
If I want to be like that,
**[15:04] Mako**
first I need to give some dreams back
to the people that supported me.
***SIGN*** Mako
***SIGN*** Tell me what you really want to do in life!
***SIGN*** Like • Reply
**[15:09] Mako**
Tell me what you really want to do in life!
**[15:11] Young woman**
* I want to build a nursing home*
* out in the country,*
**[15:14] ---**
*but I'm having trouble with financing.*
**[15:16] Mako**
Okay! I'll sponsor that!
**[15:19] Young man**
* Japanese society has a big*
* problem with young people*
**[15:22] Young man**
*who get burned out and can't find new jobs.*
**[15:26] Mako**
I'll take your word for it. I'll sponsor!
**[15:29] Old woman**
* I want to buy some nice clothes for my*
* granddaughter's Shichi-Go-San celebration.*
**[15:33] Mako**
I'll sponsor it!
**[15:35] Mako**
Sponsor! Sponsor! Sponsor!
**[15:38] Mako**
Sponsor! Sponsor! Sponsor! Sponsor! Sponsor!
**[15:46] Yuzu**
Mako-chan's yen pressure
system dissipated.
**[15:49] Yomogi**
I still don't know what the heck that is.
**[15:51] Yayoi**
You're amazing, Mako-chan!
You made people's dreams come true!
**[15:56] Mako**
I used up all of my money
in the process, though.
**[16:00] Mako**
And the party is tonight.
***SIGN*** Mokkosu Movie Premium Party ○○Hotel
**[16:02] Mako**
I didn't get a dress
after all. What do I do?
**[16:09] Yayoi**
Mako-chan...
**[16:11] Mako**
What?
**[16:12] Yayoi**
Ta-dah!
***SIGN*** Jovijouva Mokkosu's New Film Japan Premium Celebration Party
***SIGN*** Star Shark
~ The Dorsal Awakens ~
**[16:18] Mako**
I finally made it!
**[16:21] Hikari**
Oh, you're late, Mako.
**[16:24] Mako**
Sorry, sorry!
**[16:31] Saeka**
That's a very nice dress.
**[16:34] Mako**
Isn't it?
**[16:36] (Flashback) Yayoi**
Ta-dah!
**[16:38] (Flashback) Mako**
Is this...?
**[16:40] (Flashback) Yayoi**
Don't you think it turned out all right?
**[16:42] (Flashback) Yayoi**
We worked so hard to make it.
**[16:44] (Flashback) Yuzu**
It took a while to find cheap
fabrics that looked expensive.
**[16:48] (Flashback) Yomogi**
Just tell people it's a dress
from an up-and-coming,
**[16:50] (Flashback) Yomogi**
avant-garde young fashion designer,
and you'll be fine.
**[16:54] (Flashback) Yomogi**
Probably.
**[16:55] (Flashback) Mako**
Guys...
**[16:58] (Flashback) Mako**
Wow! Thank you!
**[17:00] (Flashback) Mako**
I'll never call okonomiyaki
a random mess again!
**[17:04] (Flashback) Mako**
And I'll always eat the
octopus in takoyaki, too!
**[17:06] (Flashback) Yayoi**
You really called it that?
**[17:07] (Flashback) Yomogi**
You actually picked it out?
**[17:17] Koseki**
Well, well.
**[17:18] Koseki**
If it isn't Saeka-san,
the Yabukita En tea company heiress.
**[17:22] Koseki**
How have you been?
**[17:23] Saeka**
It's nice to see you again.
**[17:25] Saeka**
This is Koseki-san, from the
film distribution company.
**[17:28] Koseki**
Indeed, I am Koseki.
**[17:29] Koseki**
And is this the Jogasaki
Confectionery heiress?
**[17:32] Koseki**
I've always wanted to meet you!
**[17:35] Hikari**
The pleasure is mine, I'm sure.
**[17:38] Mako**
Huh?
**[17:38] Koseki**
But Saeka-san, you get lovelier by the day.
**[17:42] Koseki**
What do you think about making
your debut as an actress?
**[17:44] Saeka**
Thank you, but I think I'll pass.
**[17:46] Saeka**
I really don't think I'm
cut out to be an actress.
**[17:48] Koseki**
There you go again.
**[17:49] Koseki**
Oh, I have to say hello
to your father as well.
**[17:52] Koseki**
We'll speak again.
**[17:56] Mako**
What about me?
**[17:58] Mako**
Excuse me. I'll take everything!
**[18:01] Chef**
Huh?
**[18:02] Mako**
It's all-you-can-eat, right?
**[18:05] Yayoi**
Hey, stop!
**[18:07] Mako**
Huh? Why are you here?
**[18:08] Yayoi**
Heh heh heh... We snuck in.
**[18:11] Yuzu**
We were worried about you.
**[18:13] Mako**
Aw, you don't need to worry about me.
**[18:15] Yuzu**
If you don't act like you're rich
and famous, it'll raise eyebrows.
**[18:19] Mako**
You're right. This tiny plate
wouldn't fit everything, anyway.
**[18:23] Mako**
But I expected that, so I brought
containers for the food!
**[18:26] Yomogi**
That isn't the point!
**[18:30] Koseki**
Ouch!
**[18:32] Mako**
Oh! I'm sorry!
**[18:38] Koseki**
Don't go dropping your garbage
in my party, you dumb brat!
**[18:41] Koseki**
Hey, make sure that girl
doesn't get back in here.
**[18:44] Young guy**
Yes, sir.
**[18:45] Koseki**
I can't take it.
**[18:48] Koseki**
Being in the same room with a bum
like that makes me want to puke.
**[18:54] Hikari**
It's nice and hot.
**[18:55] Saeka**
Thank you.
**[18:58] Koseki**
And that dress, too. I can only put
up with so much trash at once.
**[19:01] Koseki**
How dare she wear that cheap thing here!
**[19:06] Koseki**
It burns!
**[19:09] Koseki**
Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
**[19:12] Saeka**
Please don't fret.
**[19:14] Saeka**
That wasn't cheap.
It was very high-quality tea.
**[19:18] Yayoi**
What? What?
**[19:19] Saeka**
Someone like you, who sees nothing
but money, would never understand
**[19:24] Saeka**
how valuable that dress actually is.
**[19:27] Koseki**
Eh?
**[19:28] Saeka**
Furthermore, no matter who you are, I will
not tolerate someone insulting my friends.
**[19:34] Koseki**
Ah! I'm... Ungh!
**[19:36] Saeka**
Now, please excuse me.
**[19:42] Saeka**
My childhood friend Hikari was the only
person I felt I could be myself with.
**[19:46] Saeka**
My classmates and the other
children gave me a wide berth.
**[19:49] Saeka**
They felt that I came from a different world.
**[19:52] Saeka**
It was as if there was an invisible wall
around me. I was tremendously lonely.
**[19:57] Saeka**
But Mako, with nothing but a love
of comedy, broke down that wall.
**[20:04] Saeka**
I can't tell you what a relief it was.
**[20:07] Yayoi**
You both knew that Mako wasn't
rich and famous, didn't you?
**[20:10] Hikari**
Of course we did.
**[20:12] Hikari**
We knew she was working online
to make money all week, too.
**[20:16] Yomogi**
You did?
**[20:17] Hikari**
Naturally. She wasn't
exactly sneaky about it.
**[20:20] Saeka**
We planned to make it look like
she won a contest or something,
**[20:23] Saeka**
and arrange for her to get a dress that way.
**[20:26] Saeka**
But thanks to you all,
we didn't have to do that.
**[20:30] Yuzu**
Did you have to go that far?
**[20:31] Yuzu**
Why couldn't you just talk
to Mako-chan about it?
**[20:34] Yayoi**
Yeah. Mako-chan is really worried
that she can't be your friend
**[20:37] Yayoi**
unless she's rich like you.
**[20:39] Saeka**
If we told her to simply stay the way she is,
**[20:42] Saeka**
when she's been working so hard to fit in,
**[20:44] Saeka**
wouldn't that be the truly arrogant,
condescending behavior?
**[20:47] Hikari**
It's not as if it'd stop her, anyway.
**[20:50] Saeka**
That's right. It wouldn't stop her.
**[20:52] Mako**
Hey. You were both here the whole time?
**[20:56] Mako**
Ah! This isn't what it looks like!
**[20:58] Mako**
I thought I'd bring some gifts to
all the servants I have at home.
**[21:06] Saeka**
The three of us are already friends.
**[21:12] Saeka**
If I put effort into it, I could
probably buy all of Japan.
**[21:15] Hikari**
No way!
**[21:16] Hikari**
But... I guess I can't rule
it out in your case, Saeka.
**[21:18] Mako**
You mean you haven't bought a country yet?
**[21:21] Mako**
I've already bought, like,
ten countries myself!
**[21:23] Saeka**
Oh, my. But I'm not jealous at all.
**[21:26] Saeka**
I already have the things I wanted most.
**[21:31] Hikari**
What are you even talking about?
Let's drop it already.
**[21:41] Seiji**
Hngh!
**[21:46] Mako**
Prince Shotoku, lend me your powers!
**[21:49] Yuzu**
She got a job transcribing interviews.
**[21:51] Yomogi**
But ten at once? That's crazy!
**[21:53] Yuzu**
I wonder what she's saving up for this time.
**[21:56] Yayoi**
Well, if we need to, we could
always make it for her again!
***SIGN*** Robotrain
***SIGN*** A Close Shave
***SIGN*** Starring Celebri-Tea
***SIGN*** Director: Jovijouva Mokkosu
**[22:02] Mako**
*It's a robot, but I can't tell them that...*
**[22:05] [SONG] Lead**
Go! We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
**[22:09] [SONG] back**
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
**[22:16] [SONG] lead**
Hi! Hi! Hello! Let's get
on with the show today.
**[22:19] [SONG] lead**
We've just got four minutes, but we
hope you hear everything that we say.
**[22:22] [SONG] back**
Hey there cutie, hey there cutie,
didn't even miss a beat there, cutie.
**[22:24] [SONG] lead**
We hope you enjoy the show today.
**[22:27] [SONG] lead**
Here at home with you, in your living room,
we'll put a twinkle into your eyes.
**[22:33] [SONG] lead**
We've all dreamed to see if we could be
on a stage so free. Now it's a reality!
**[22:42] [SONG] lead**
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
**[22:45] [SONG] lead**
It's all good when we're laughing together.
**[22:48] [SONG] lead**
If we bomb, slip, even if we cry,
so what! That's still part of our destiny.
**[22:54] [SONG] lead**
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
**[22:56] [SONG] lead**
We'll hit it big if we
keep laughing together.
**[22:59] [SONG] lead**
We never knew that life
could ever be like this,
**[23:02] [SONG] lead**
and now that we're going, you know
there's no way we'll ever stop!
**[23:05] [SONG] lead**
We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
**[23:09] [SONG] back**
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
**[23:10] [SONG] lead**
All of our searching, all of our
training is fading out into the past.
**[23:16] [SONG] lead**
But to us now, those memories
will always be so precious.
**[23:22] [SONG] lead**
All of the tears, all of the pain,
rewriting life with our own words.
**[23:27] [SONG] lead**
We want to laugh it all away with you,
right up to the end. And that's a wrap!
***SIGN*** The Lamp Chapter
# E5 - The Lamp Chapter
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GVWU05NK0/the-lamp-chapter)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:03] Mone**
What a pain.
**[00:05] Mone**
Why do we have to go back, anyway?
**[00:07] Chihori**
It's a school day.
**[00:09] Chihori**
What a wretched Earth custom.
**[00:11] Mone**
While we're stuck here, everyone at
Takako-so is practicing their comedy.
**[00:16] Mone**
People say if you skip one day of manzai,
it takes two weeks to get it back.
**[00:21] Chihori**
Some do say comedy is verbal athletics.
**[00:23] Yuina**
My true name is Jupitris Naru-Nanana—
**[00:26] Yuina**
Ah, I botched it again.
**[00:28] Mone**
You can't do that, Yuina.
**[00:29] Mone**
It's your true name. You gotta
learn how to say it smoothly.
**[00:32] Yuina**
But you're the one who
came up with it, Mone.
**[00:35] Yuina**
Why did you have to make it so long?
**[00:37] Chihori**
Yuina, most space alien
names are really long.
**[00:41] Mone**
That's right.
**[00:42] Mone**
Leave it to Chihori to see
things from the alien side.
**[00:46] Chihori**
Eh? B-But isn't that common
knowledge among Earthlings, too?
**[00:49] Yuina**
That doesn't make any sense.
**[00:51] Mone**
If we're gonna make it to the Grand Prix final,
we have to constantly think up new bits.
**[00:55] Mone**
There's never enough time, though.
**[00:58] Chihori**
Yeah, for sure.
**[01:08] Yuina**
Finally back in Hokkaido.
It's so relaxing here.
**[01:11] Chihori**
There are so many people around Takako-so
all the time, it always feels like a festival.
**[01:16] Mone**
That's the city for you.
**[01:17] Yuina**
I like the country the best.
It's so peaceful.
**[01:20] Mone**
Hold on there, Yuina. The countryside
ain't always peaceful, ya hear?
**[01:24] Yuina**
Is that a new character?
**[01:26] Mone**
Somethin' tells me ya don't know about
the seven folk legends of Hokkaido.
**[01:31] Yuina**
Seven folk legends?
**[01:33] Chihori**
What are they? What are they?
**[01:35] Chihori**
Like, a gigantic laser cannon
on standby in satellite orbit?
**[01:39] Chihori**
Or an underground facility for making
cow-shaped weapons of mass destruction?
**[01:43] Mone**
It ain't anything like that
Hollywood-type stuff, darlin'.
**[01:46] Mone**
I'm talkin' about the old wives'
tales that country grannies tell.
**[01:49] Yuina**
For example?
**[01:50] Mone**
Aw, dang it. I forget.
**[01:52] Chihori**
You forgot already? That's too bad.
**[01:55] Yuina**
Folk legends, huh? It'd be fun
if we could spot one of those.
**[01:58] Mone**
You think?
**[01:59] Chihori**
I'd love to see one while
I'm still on Earth.
**[02:02] Yuina**
While you're still on Earth?
**[02:03] Chihori**
Never mind!
**[02:04] Mone**
By the way, last year I got
an interesting holiday gift.
**[02:08] Mone**
Expensive-looking imported dishes.
**[02:10] Yuina**
There are a lot of really
cute imported dishes.
**[02:13] Mone**
Yeah, these were cute. And they flew.
**[02:16] Yuina**
They flew?
**[02:17] Mone**
Yeah. Sometimes they'd
float up into the air.
**[02:20] Yuina**
The dishes?
**[02:21] Mone**
The dishes.
**[02:22] Chihori**
Probably because they were imported.
**[02:23] Mone**
That's probably it.
**[02:25] Yuina**
I guess imported dishes can fly, then.
**[02:27] Mone**
Yeah, imported dishes can fly.
**[02:31] Yuina**
Huh? What was that?
**[02:37] Mone**
What a pain.
**[02:39] Mone**
Why do we have to go back, anyway?
**[02:41] Chihori**
'Cause we have to. It's a school day.
**[02:43] Mone**
While we're stuck here, everyone at
Takako-so is practicing their comedy.
**[02:48] Mone**
People say if you skip one day of manzai,
it takes two weeks to get it back.
**[02:50] Yuina**
Huh?
**[02:52] Yuina**
Huh?
**[02:53] Yuina**
Huh?!
**[02:55] [SONG] all**
Yeah!
**[02:55] [SONG] Yomogi**
So, what's comedy?
**[02:56] [SONG] Yayoi**
Yo!
**[02:57] [SONG] Yuzu**
Tough question, for me
**[02:58] [SONG] Yayoi**
What could it be?
It's too far out to see!
**[02:59] [SONG] Yuzu & Yomogi**
Be! See!
**[03:00] [SONG] Yomogi**
Boke and tsukkomi, in the zone
**[03:00] [SONG] Yayoi**
Ye ye, in the zone!
**[03:02] [SONG] Yuzu**
We got god-tier jokes on the horizon
**[03:02] [SONG] Yayoi & Yomogi**
God! Horizon!
**[03:04] [SONG] Kana**
Wanna see us split into bunshin
**[03:04] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Yeah!
**[03:05] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Bullets!
**[03:05] [SONG] Kana**
And hear gags flying at you like bullets?
**[03:07] [SONG] Kana**
Leave it to comedy ninjas!
**[03:08] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Nin-nin!
**[03:09] [SONG] Saeka**
High society, celebrity
**[03:09] [SONG] Hikari & Mako**
High! Celebrity!
**[03:10] [SONG] Saeka**
The cleanest jokes are our priority
**[03:12] [SONG] Hikari & Mako**
Priority!
**[03:13] [SONG] Miyu**
Yeah, Akudare, making you all laugh
**[03:13] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Yeah!
**[03:14] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Ah! Ah!
**[03:15] [SONG] Miyu**
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back
**[03:15] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back!
**[03:17] [SONG] Yuina**
We. Are. The. Invaders. Yo.
**[03:18] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
Ah Invaders
**[03:19] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
That should tell you all you need to know
**[03:20] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
Need to know!
**[03:21] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Yeah!
**[03:21] [SONG] Yuzu**
Shake it up, Wai-Wai!
**[03:21] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Wai-Wai!
**[03:22] [SONG] Yomogi**
Heat up the timeline!
**[03:23] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Timeline!
**[03:23] [SONG] Yayoi**
Scramble for the win,
we won't give up our pride
**[03:25] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Pride!
**[03:26] [SONG] Yomogi**
Found a new line
**[03:26] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Oh!
**[03:26] [SONG] Yuzu**
Gonna sweep the prime time
**[03:28] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Oh!
**[03:28] [SONG] Yayoi**
Who's on top then?
**[03:29] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Gotta take the Teppen!
**[03:29] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina**
Take it to the top
**[03:31] [SONG] all call**
Doin' it for real!
**[03:32] [SONG] Kana; Saeka**
We'll show you, giving everything
we got, oh yeah
**[03:33] [SONG] all call**
Oh yeah
**[03:34] [SONG] Miyu; Yuina**
Gonna face the challenge head-on
**[03:34] [SONG] all call**
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
**[03:36] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina**
Running straight ahead
**[03:36] [SONG] all call**
Yo! Yo! Yo!
**[03:38] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai**
Take it to the top
**[03:38] [SONG] all call**
Yeah that's right!
**[03:40] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai**
It's show
**[03:41] [SONG] Yomogi**
Don't slow down to hear them
call you funny, not a day
**[03:43] [SONG] Yuzu**
You'll never reach the top that way
**[03:43] [SONG] all call**
Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh yeah!
**[03:45] [SONG] Yayoi**
You know it's true, what we say
**[03:47] [SONG] all call**
Hey!
**[03:48] [SONG] all sing**
But this isn't about us just getting a laugh
**[03:51] [SONG] all call**
Yeah! Yeah!
**[03:54] [SONG] all sing**
That's not why we're here
It's much bigger, bigger than all that
**[03:57] [SONG] all call**
All that
**[03:58] [SONG] all sing**
We want to get
**[03:58] [SONG] all call**
We want to get, yeah!
**[04:01] [SONG] all sing**
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
**[04:01] [SONG] all call**
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
**[04:06] [SONG] all sing**
Yeah if we are the ones
that are making you laugh
**[04:06] [SONG] all call**
Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye!
**[04:11] [SONG] all sing**
We gotta go so hard it'll really,
really give us that, you know?
**[04:15] [SONG] all sing**
Top of the laugh
**[04:15] [SONG] all call**
Top of the laugh Ye~ah!
**[04:18] [SONG] all sing**
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way.
We're gonna make it to the top one day!
**[04:18] [SONG] all call**
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way,
oh! We're gonna make it to the top one day!
**[04:23] [SONG] Yayoi**
Aw yeah!
***SIGN*** The Lamp Chapter
**[04:32] Yuina**
Huh? How?
**[04:33] Chihori**
What, Yuina?
**[04:35] Mone**
Oh. She's trying to get out
of practicing her name.
**[04:37] Mone**
Are you able to say it right yet?
**[04:39] Yuina**
What? No, sorry.
**[04:41] Mone**
You can't do that, Yuina.
**[04:43] Mone**
It's your true name. You gotta
learn how to say it smoothly.
**[04:46] Yuina**
Most space alien names are really long.
**[04:49] Mone**
That's right. So it has to be long.
I'm glad you understand.
**[04:53] Yuina**
*I guess I'm imagining things...*
**[04:57] Chihori**
The air in Hokkaido smells so fresh!
**[05:00] Mone**
But see here, Chihori.
**[05:02] Mone**
There's some mysterious wonders
hidden around Hokkaido too, darlin'.
**[05:05] Yuina**
*Huh? Was this...?*
**[05:07] Chihori**
Mysterious?
**[05:08] Mone**
Somethin' tells me ya don't know about
the seven folk legends of Hokkaido.
**[05:13] Chihori**
Seven folk legends?
**[05:14] Yuina**
Huh?
**[05:15] Chihori**
This sounds fun!
**[05:16] Chihori**
Tell me! Tell me!
**[05:17] Mone**
I forget what they're about.
**[05:19] Chihori**
You forgot already?
**[05:20] Yuina**
*I'm definitely not imagining things.*
**[05:22] Chihori**
Something wrong, Yuina?
**[05:24] Chihori**
You got quiet all of a sudden.
**[05:26] Mone**
Are you hungry? Want a buttercream cookie?
**[05:28] Mone**
There's nothing to drink, though.
**[05:30] Chihori**
You can't eat a buttercream
cookie without a drink!
**[05:32] Yuina**
No, thanks. It's okay. I'll be fine.
**[05:34] Chihori**
Without a drink, it'd be way too sweet.
**[05:37] Mone**
But hey, listen to this.
**[05:39] Mone**
I got some imported dishes as
a holiday gift last year.
**[05:42] Mone**
Imported dishware is really cute.
**[05:45] Chihori**
Oh, is it?
**[05:48] Mone**
They're really fancy and
stylish and they fly,
**[05:51] Mone**
so they make any meal look delicious.
**[05:53] Yuina**
Imported dishes...
**[05:54] Chihori**
That's so neat. I want
some flying dishes, too.
**[05:57] Mone**
Flying dishes are great, ya hear?
**[05:59] Yuina**
They fly, huh?
**[06:02] Yuina**
What?! Wait. Is this...?
**[06:09] Mone**
Why do we have to go back, anyway?
**[06:11] Chihori**
'Cause we have to. It's a school day.
**[06:13] Yuina**
It's all back to where it started!
**[06:15] Mone**
What's wrong, Yuina?
What's back to where it started?
**[06:19] Chihori**
The food you ate?
**[06:20] Mone**
Here's a barf bag.
**[06:22] Yuina**
That's my backpack!
**[06:23] Yuina**
And that's not what I'm saying!
I mean that time started over!
**[06:26] Mone**
Wha? The old time slip trick?
**[06:29] Yuina**
Daibutsu with lipstick?
**[06:30] Mone**
Why'd you have to play the
sexy Buddha card right now?
**[06:32] Mone**
Yuina is on the verge of
sci-fi enlightenment.
**[06:34] Mone**
Keep your *satori*cal jokes to yourself.
**[06:36] Yuina**
You mean neither of you noticed?
**[06:38] Mone**
There we go. Sci-fi is the way, Yuina.
**[06:41] Yuina**
I'm being serious!
**[06:43] Yuina**
Time keeps repeating!
**[06:46] Yuina**
Huh? Huh? Huh?!
**[06:49] Mone**
Why do we have to go back, anyway?
**[06:52] Chihori**
'Cause we have to.
**[06:53] Yuina**
What?!
**[06:54] Chihori**
Oh! You surprised me!
**[06:56] Mone**
What's wrong, Yuina?
**[06:57] Mone**
Did you see a horsehair crab
walking forwards or something?
**[06:59] Chihori**
A straightforward crab?
The real honest type?
**[07:02] Yuina**
*We're back again.*
**[07:04] Yuina**
*Is it going to keep looping forever?*
**[07:06] Yuina**
* And that loop was even*
* shorter than the last. Why?*
**[07:10] Yuina**
* Calm down, Yuina. This is when*
* you gotta start counting sheep.*
**[07:13] Yuina**
*There must be some rule to the looping.*
**[07:16] Yuina**
*If I can just figure it out...*
**[07:18] Yuina**
* Could it have started over*
* because I told them?*
**[07:21] Chihori**
Something wrong, Yuina?
**[07:23] Mone**
Are you hungry? Want a buttercream cookie?
**[07:25] Mone**
There's nothing to drink, though.
**[07:27] Chihori**
You can't eat a buttercream
cookie without a drink!
**[07:29] Yuina**
* That has to be it. I can't let*
* them know what's happening.*
**[07:33] Yuina**
*If I break the rules, it starts over.*
**[07:33] Chihori**
It's so good! But it tastes so sweet...
**[07:36] Yuina**
*It keeps resetting at the same moment.*
**[07:38] Mone**
Mm-hmm.
**[07:40] Yuina**
* That buzzer sound... that's like when you*
* give the wrong answer on a quiz show.*
**[07:44] Mone**
But hey, listen to this.
**[07:46] Mone**
I got some imported dishes as
a holiday gift last year.
**[07:49] Yuina**
*Here it is!*
**[07:50] Yuina**
* What am I getting wrong?*
* And what is the right response?*
**[07:55] Mone**
Imported dishware is really cute.
**[07:58] Chihori**
Oh, really?
**[07:59] Yuina**
*I've been wondering...*
**[08:01] Mone**
They're really fancy and stylish and they fly,
**[08:04] Mone**
so they make any meal look delicious.
**[08:06] Yuina**
*Dishes don't fly, do they?*
**[08:09] Yuina**
*Dishes floating up into the air...*
**[08:12] Yuina**
Oh!
**[08:12] Yuina**
That's just a poltergeist!
**[08:16] Mone**
Ah, I hadn't thought of that.
**[08:17] Yuina**
Huh? Huh?
**[08:20] Yuina**
What? Were those lamps there before?
**[08:23] Mone**
Lamps? What are you talking about?
**[08:25] Yuina**
Huh?
**[08:26] Yuina**
*Could it be... they don't see them?*
**[08:29] Yuina**
N-Never mind.
**[08:31] Yuina**
*It didn't repeat again.*
**[08:32] Yuina**
* And that sound must mean*
* I got it right or something.*
**[08:36] Yuina**
*Is that why the lamp lit up?*
**[08:38] Yuina**
*There are seven lamps...*
**[08:40] Yuina**
* Only one is on now. But why*
* did that one turn on?*
**[08:44] (Flashback) Mone**
Somethin' tells me ya don't know about
the seven folk legends of Hokkaido.
**[08:49] (Flashback) Yuina**
That's a poltergeist!
**[08:51] Yuina**
*Mysteries of the unknown!*
**[08:53] Yuina**
* The seven lamps must*
* represent seven mysteries.*
**[08:55] Yuina**
* A poltergeist must have been one,*
* and that's why the lamp lit up.*
**[09:00] Yuina**
*So, the previous loop...*
**[09:03] Yuina**
*I broke out of it when I got the answer right.*
**[09:05] Yuina**
* I guess it kept looping because I didn't*
* react to the flying plate thing.*
**[09:09] Yuina**
* So there are seven mysteries*
* in our conversation,*
**[09:11] Yuina**
*and I need a comeback for each one?*
**[09:15] Yuina**
* But I don't know what*
* the mysteries could be.*
**[09:18] Yuina**
* I'd look them up, but I'm*
* out of range, so I can't.*
***SIGN*** Out of Range
**[09:21] Chihori**
Is Yuina talking to herself?
**[09:24] Mone**
I bet she's working on a new bit.
**[09:26] Mone**
Maybe she's finally embracing her
role as a space-manzai comic.
**[09:30] Chihori**
Ah, buttercream cookies are a
national treasure of Hokkaido.
**[09:34] Mone**
They go beyond national.
More like a planetary treasure.
**[09:38] Mone**
The delicious flavor is out of this world.
**[09:40] Chihori**
They actually sell them on Pluto
for ten times the original price.
**[09:44] Mone**
Oh, do they?
**[09:46] Mone**
Sometimes you talk about space like
you've actually been there, Chihori.
**[09:49] Chihori**
I h-haven't! That isn't even possible.
**[09:52] Mone**
I know. It's just a joke.
**[09:54] Chihori**
Yeah, a joke. A joke.
**[09:56] Yuina**
* Phew. That wasn't one*
* of the seven mysteries.*
**[09:59] Yuina**
* I guess I can ignore Chihori's*
* usual silly setups.*
**[10:02] Mone**
Here, have the last one.
**[10:03] Yuina**
Oh, thank you.
**[10:05] Chihori**
Wait a minute. How did you
buy buttercream cookies?
**[10:08] Chihori**
When was there time for that?
**[10:09] Mone**
I didn't buy them. They were given to me.
**[10:12] Chihori**
Huh? Someone giving away
buttercream cookies must be a god.
**[10:15] Chihori**
The buttergod?
**[10:16] Yuina**
I've never heard of such a calorie-rich god.
**[10:18] Mone**
Not a god. More like, um...
**[10:22] Mone**
A really wee person.
**[10:23] Yuina**
You mean a child?
**[10:25] Mone**
No, not a child. I dunno. A wee person.
**[10:29] Yuina**
How big?
**[10:30] Mone**
This big.
**[10:31] Chihori**
That's tiny!
**[10:32] Yuina**
That's too tiny!
**[10:33] Mone**
But a buttercream cookie
is about this big, right?
**[10:36] Mone**
It makes sense that the buttergod
would be that big, too.
**[10:39] Chihori**
She does have a point there.
**[10:41] Yuina**
I guess the buttergod is pretty small.
**[10:44] Yuina**
Oh, no!
**[10:48] Mone**
Why do we have to go back, anyway?
**[10:50] Chihori**
'Cause we have to.
**[10:52] Yuina**
How come?!
**[10:53] Chihori**
Oh! You surprised me!
**[10:54] Mone**
What's wrong, Yuina?
**[10:55] Mone**
Did you find out your grandma was a pumpkin?
**[10:57] Chihori**
It would be shocking to find a pumpkin
growing from your family tree.
**[11:01] Yuina**
*It's repeating again. What did I get wrong?*
**[11:05] Mone**
But hey, listen to this.
**[11:06] Mone**
I got some dishes as a
holiday gift last year.
**[11:09] Mone**
And they float into the air,
and it looks so nice.
**[11:11] Yuina**
A poltergeist!
**[11:14] Yuina**
* The second mystery must have been*
* in the conversation somewhere.*
**[11:18] Yuina**
*So missing it does make the loop start over.*
**[11:20] Chihori**
Wait a minute. How did you
buy buttercream cookies?
**[11:23] Chihori**
When was there time for that?
**[11:25] Mone**
I didn't buy them. They were given to me.
**[11:27] Yuina**
*What is it? What is the next mystery?*
**[11:30] Mone**
Um, a really wee person. Like this big.
**[11:34] Yuina**
*A wee person?*
**[11:35] Yuina**
*Where have I heard a story like that before?*
**[11:38] Yuina**
*Oh, I know. I'm sure it was...*
**[11:41] Yuina**
That's a Korpokkur!
**[11:45] Yuina**
*Yes!*
**[11:46] Mone**
Oh. It was a Korpokkur.
**[11:49] Mone**
That explains why it was so small.
**[11:51] Chihori**
That sure was nice of the Korpokkur
to give you a buttercream cookie.
**[11:52] Yuina**
* If I can keep dishing out*
* the right comebacks,*
**[11:55] Yuina**
*time should go forward without repeating.*
**[11:58] Yuina**
*But that sounds totally exhausting.*
***SIGN*** Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
***SIGN*** Invaders
**[12:09] Yuina**
My true name is Jupitris Naru-Naru Nyuigi—
**[12:13] Yuina**
Ah, I botched it again.
**[12:14] Mone**
Your training is far from complete.
**[12:17] Yuina**
I told you it was too difficult!
**[12:19] Mone**
Oh yeah? Jupitris Naru-Naru Neiji
Yuina is easy for me to say.
**[12:23] Yuina**
That's because you came up with it, Mone.
**[12:27] Yuina**
Why did we have to go with the
"we are space aliens" theme, anyway?
**[12:30] Mone**
We had to. We needed something
to give us character.
**[12:33] Mone**
That first performance was
really our turning point.
**[12:37] Chihori**
Who would have thought space alien
characters would be so popular?
**[12:39] Yuina**
Which means we can't turn back,
and now I just have to suffer with it.
**[12:44] Mone**
But don't you think it would be awesome
if we took the Teppen like this?
**[12:48] Mone**
We'd be big stars in Hokkaido!
**[12:50] Chihori**
Stars, huh?
**[12:52] Chihori**
I wonder if my mother and father 30,000
light years away would be happy for us.
**[12:57] Yuina**
* N-No! That's the wrong spot!*
* Quit setting me up, Chihori!*
**[13:01] Mone**
Actually, I have a dream about becoming
famous and reuniting with an old friend.
**[13:07] Chihori**
Oh, this is gonna be good.
**[13:09] Mone**
I don't know where she's living now,
**[13:12] Mone**
but I bet she'd find me
once we become famous.
**[13:16] Yuina**
Yeah, I bet. That happens sometimes.
**[13:18] Mone**
She was so nice.
**[13:20] Yuina**
Was she?
**[13:22] Mone**
Ate a lot, laughed a lot...
**[13:24] Yuina**
Huh.
**[13:25] Mone**
...and her body was all green.
**[13:27] Yuina**
What a development.
**[13:29] Mone**
Also, she lived deep underground.
Have you heard about it?
**[13:32] Mone**
I went home with her once, and there
was this huge city underground.
**[13:37] Yuina**
An underground... city?
**[13:38] Mone**
Yeah. It had this weird vibe to it,
**[13:41] Mone**
like it was tens of thousands
of years old or something.
**[13:44] Yuina**
* An underground city that's tens*
* of thousands of years old...*
**[13:47] Yuina**
That's the lost underground
city of Shambhala!
**[13:52] Yuina**
*Nice! I'm on a roll!*
**[13:53] Mone**
What are you doing, Yuina?
**[13:55] Chihori**
You seem happy about something.
**[13:56] Yuina**
I-It's nothing!
**[13:58] Yuina**
I just wish I could meet Mone's
fresh, green friend, too.
**[14:02] Mone**
Don't talk about people's friends
like they're vegetables.
**[14:07] Chihori**
So your mother and father encouraged you
to do the Teppen Grand Prix, Yuina?
**[14:13] Yuina**
Yeah. They keep telling
me to give it all I got.
**[14:16] Yuina**
My dad, you know, used to be
in a band and tried to go pro.
**[14:20] Yuina**
He'd say, "We're gonna rock you
so hard, it'll set Hokkaido on fire!"
**[14:24] Yuina**
At least that's what I've heard.
**[14:25] Yuina**
Pretty cheesy, huh?
**[14:26] Mone**
Very cheesy.
**[14:27] Yuina**
Eventually he gave up, got a
real job, and got married.
**[14:32] Yuina**
But since my dad was like that too,
**[14:35] Yuina**
he told me to do whatever
I wanted while I was young.
**[14:38] Chihori**
That was a somewhat nice story.
**[14:40] Yuina**
Somewhat?
**[14:42] Mone**
I'm jealous, Yuina.
**[14:44] Mone**
I've kind of got a problem
with my dad at home.
**[14:47] Yuina**
A problem?
**[14:49] Chihori**
This is the first I've heard of it.
**[14:50] Yuina**
Are you really worried about it?
**[14:52] Yuina**
We'll listen if you want to talk about it.
**[14:54] Mone**
Yeah. Actually, my dad...
**[14:58] Mone**
won't build me a giant robot.
**[15:01] Yuina**
Huh?
**[15:02] Chihori**
And what's the problem with that?
**[15:04] Mone**
It's a huge problem!
**[15:06] Mone**
The dad is supposed to make a
giant robot for the kid to pilot.
**[15:09] Mone**
It happens all the time in robot anime!
***SIGN*** We Asked 100 Robot Anime Protagonists,
"Who Built Your Robot?"
***SIGN*** Father Built It
***SIGN*** I Stole It
***SIGN*** I Found It at School
***SIGN*** It Was the School
***SIGN*** Other
**[15:11] Mone**
The results of the survey say so!
**[15:14] Yuina**
When did you have time to conduct a survey?
**[15:16] Mone**
My chances of piloting a robot
**[15:19] Mone**
have dropped off the charts because
my dad won't build me one.
**[15:22] Mone**
It's a huge problem!
**[15:24] Yuina**
Sorry. I'm having trouble
seeing it that way.
**[15:27] Mone**
If he won't build me a robot,
**[15:29] Mone**
at least he could don a
mask and black uniform
**[15:31] Mone**
and start hissing, like, "Shu-koh, shu-koh."
**[15:34] Mone**
Without an enemy like that, how can
I become the hero of an interstellar war?
**[15:38] Yuina**
Maybe you're aiming a little too high.
**[15:40] Chihori**
The black mask and "shu-koh,
shu-koh" reminds me...
**[15:43] Yuina**
A black mask and "shu-koh, shu-koh"
reminds you of something?
**[15:47] Chihori**
Do you remember that "Hokkaido! Doh! Doh!" gag
**[15:51] Chihori**
that propelled the comedian,
Bushido Sasaoka, to stardom?
**[15:55] Chihori**
One time when Sasaoka-san was doing a gag on
location in Sapporo, he started thinking,
**[16:00] Chihori**
"I've got to take a good, long look at myself
and perfect my delivery of this joke."
**[16:04] Mone**
Would delivery really help that joke?
**[16:06] Yuina**
That's rude, Mone.
**[16:07] Chihori**
Then Sasaoka-san happened
upon another person
**[16:11] Chihori**
who looked just like him
doing the exact same joke.
**[16:13] Mone**
Looked just like him? Like a
ninja's bunshin ability?
**[16:17] Chihori**
Maybe if you really perfect your jokes,
it turns into a kind of ninjutsu.
**[16:22] Yuina**
*Is it ninjutsu? No...*
**[16:24] Yuina**
* A phenomenon when you*
* encounter your double.*
**[16:27] Yuina**
* I've heard about that*
* somewhere. It's got to be...*
**[16:30] Yuina**
*That's a doppelgänger!*
**[16:33] Yuina**
*Correct! Now there's three left.*
**[16:35] Yuina**
* Once I light them all up,*
* I should escape this time loop.*
**[16:42] Mone**
It must be nice to be rich
like everyone in Celebri-Tea.
**[16:46] Yuina**
Doesn't your family own a big farm, Mone?
**[16:49] Mone**
Yeah, but that's Hokkaido.
**[16:51] Mone**
A farm in Hokkaido is worth about
as much as one tatami mat in Osaka.
**[16:55] Yuina**
That can't be right.
**[16:56] Mone**
I wish they'd at least hide a
giant robot underneath the farm.
**[17:00] Mone**
The ground would split open, and the
robot would go "brrr" and come out.
**[17:04] Yuina**
It would be a disaster, because
the cows would all fall in!
**[17:07] Chihori**
A while ago, I met an old lady who
said she lived in Lake Kussharo.
**[17:12] Chihori**
She seemed pretty rich.
And she had this huge dog!
**[17:16] Yuina**
Yeah, you gotta be rich to have a big dog.
**[17:19] Mone**
Lucky her. What was its name?
**[17:21] Chihori**
I don't know the breed, but it looked...
**[17:24] Chihori**
Something like this.
**[17:26] Yuina**
Isn't that... not a dog?
**[17:27] Mone**
How big was it?
**[17:28] Chihori**
Maybe about 15 meters.
**[17:30] Yuina**
That's a monster!
**[17:31] Yuina**
*Wait! This must be...*
**[17:34] Yuina**
*Um, um...*
**[17:37] Yuina**
* A 15-meter-long monster that*
* is clearly not a dog...*
**[17:40] Yuina**
* Was there a mysterious*
* phenomenon like that?*
**[17:43] Chihori**
You don't look well, Yuina.
**[17:45] Mone**
Want a potato stick?
**[17:47] Yuina**
* Wait. But if it's living in Lake*
* Kussharo, that must mean...*
**[17:53] Yuina**
That's Kussie!
**[17:55] Yuina**
*Oh! I got it!*
**[17:57] Mone**
Ah, the monster that lives in
Lake Kussharo in Teshikaga.
**[18:01] Mone**
Now that you mention it, I haven't
heard about many sightings recently.
**[18:07] Mone**
Hokkaido, like, beats all
the other prefectures.
**[18:11] Chihori**
Oh, yeah. The food is delicious, and the
environment is beautiful. It's the best.
**[18:16] Mone**
No, that's not what I mean.
**[18:18] Yuina**
Then what do you mean?
**[18:19] Mone**
If you threw the prefectures like shuriken,
**[18:23] Mone**
the Hokkaido one would totally dominate.
**[18:25] Yuina**
Where'd you get those?
**[18:26] Mone**
I made them from cardboard.
**[18:28] Mone**
Tokyo is small and probably
wouldn't fly far.
**[18:31] Mone**
Osaka is unbalanced and
would probably fall flat.
**[18:34] Mone**
The only other prefecture
that could compete is Iwate.
**[18:37] Mone**
But I think our Hokkaido would still win.
**[18:40] Chihori**
Hokkaido certainly might be the strongest.
**[18:42] Chihori**
Especially since the residents are so tough.
**[18:45] Yuina**
Are they? They don't seem that way to me.
**[18:47] Chihori**
But I saw a woman running
wicked fast the other day.
**[18:51] Yuina**
Maybe she was a track-and-field athlete.
**[18:53] Yuina**
What? No way! For that?!
**[18:58] Mone**
Why do we have to go back, anyway?
**[19:00] Chihori**
'Cause we have to.
**[19:02] Chihori**
Oh? What's wrong, Yuina?
**[19:04] Yuina**
Not again...
**[19:07] Yuina**
Poltergeist!
**[19:08] Yuina**
Korpokkur!
**[19:09] Yuina**
Shambhala!
**[19:09] Yuina**
Doppelgänger!
**[19:10] Yuina**
Kussie!
**[19:14] Yuina**
*I've finally made it back here.*
**[19:17] Yuina**
*I gotta get it right this time!*
**[19:19] Chihori**
I saw a woman running wicked
fast the other day.
**[19:22] Chihori**
She was as fast as a northern
fox being chased by a bear.
**[19:26] Mone**
That's the speed of sound!
**[19:27] Yuina**
* This woman must be connected to*
* some mysterious phenomenon.*
**[19:30] Yuina**
*But "running fast" isn't enough information.*
**[19:33] Yuina**
*If I can just get another hint...*
**[19:35] Yuina**
Do you remember what the woman looked like?
**[19:38] Chihori**
What she looked like? She was pretty.
**[19:41] Yuina**
Anything else?
**[19:42] Chihori**
Hmm...
**[19:43] Chihori**
You know, her clothes did
seem a bit out-of-style.
**[19:46] Chihori**
Like from the 1970s, I guess.
**[19:49] Yuina**
And?
**[19:50] Chihori**
She was a narcissist.
**[19:51] Mone**
How do you know her personality?
**[19:53] Chihori**
Well, she kept asking everybody
around, "Am I pretty?"
**[19:57] Mone**
That is quite the narcissist.
**[19:59] Chihori**
Oh, and her mouth was split open.
**[20:00] Yuina**
*Why didn't you say that earlier?!*
**[20:03] Yuina**
The Slit-Mouthed Woman!
**[20:07] Yuina**
*Sweet! Just one left.*
**[20:09] Chihori**
Look! You can see the school.
**[20:12] Yuina**
You're right!
**[20:13] Yuina**
It's always a relief to
see a familiar building.
**[20:17] Mone**
That isn't necessarily true.
**[20:18] Mone**
Sometimes people are really shocked
when they see familiar structures.
**[20:22] Yuina**
For example?
**[20:23] Mone**
Like when he finds the Statue of Liberty
and yells, "You maniacs! You blew it up!"
**[20:27] Yuina**
But that's a super-unusual case!
**[20:29] Chihori**
Time just flew by as we were chatting.
**[20:32] Chihori**
I thought we'd be able to
practice our bits more.
**[20:35] Mone**
No kidding. Yuina still can't
say her true name yet.
**[20:38] Yuina**
My true name is Jupitris
Naru-Naru Neiji Yuina. See?
**[20:43] Mone**
Oh! That's awesome, Yuina! Perfect!
**[20:46] Mone**
You can actually do it now!
**[20:47] Chihori**
Wow! You improved so much in just two hours!
**[20:51] Yuina**
It wasn't two hours, though.
**[20:53] Yuina**
Not for me.
**[20:59] Mone**
Ah, I'm pooped. I'm gonna
take a long bath tonight.
**[21:03] Chihori**
Traveling long distances
does wear you out, huh.
**[21:05] Chihori**
It reminds me of when I first came to Earth.
**[21:11] Yuina**
*That last lamp never lit up.*
**[21:13] Yuina**
*I still don't know what the seventh mystery was.*
**[21:16] Yuina**
*Is this how it's supposed to be?*
**[21:27] Yuina**
What's that?
**[21:31] Mone**
Wow! What's this?
**[21:33] Yuina**
*Oh, I get it now!*
**[21:35] Yuina**
*The last of the seven mysteries!*
**[21:37] Yuina**
*I'm glad this one was so simple.*
**[21:40] Yuina**
Overenthusiastic crop harvesting!
**[21:43] Yuina**
Huh? Wait a... Wait! No! Don't!
**[21:52] Mone**
Why do we have to go back, anyway?
**[21:54] Chihori**
'Cause we have to.
**[21:56] Chihori**
Hmm? What's wrong, Yuina?
**[21:59] Yuina**
Not again!
**[22:01] Chihori**
Are you okay, Yuina?
**[22:03] Mone**
Want a buttercream cookie?
**[22:05] [SONG] Lead**
Go! We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
**[22:09] [SONG] back**
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
**[22:16] [SONG] lead**
Hi! Hi! Hello! Let's get
on with the show today.
**[22:19] [SONG] lead**
We've just got four minutes, but we
hope you hear everything that we say.
**[22:22] [SONG] back**
Hey there cutie, hey there cutie,
didn't even miss a beat there, cutie.
**[22:24] [SONG] lead**
We hope you enjoy the show today.
**[22:27] [SONG] lead**
Here at home with you, in your living room,
we'll put a twinkle into your eyes.
**[22:33] [SONG] lead**
We've all dreamed to see if we could be
on a stage so free. Now it's a reality!
**[22:42] [SONG] lead**
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
**[22:45] [SONG] lead**
It's all good when we're laughing together.
**[22:48] [SONG] lead**
If we bomb, slip, even if we cry,
so what! That's still part of our destiny.
**[22:54] [SONG] lead**
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
**[22:56] [SONG] lead**
We'll hit it big if we
keep laughing together.
**[22:59] [SONG] lead**
We never knew that life
could ever be like this,
**[23:02] [SONG] lead**
and now that we're going, you know
there's no way we'll ever stop!
**[23:05] [SONG] lead**
We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
**[23:09] [SONG] back**
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
**[23:10] [SONG] lead**
All of our searching, all of our
training is fading out into the past.
**[23:16] [SONG] lead**
But to us now, those memories
will always be so precious.
**[23:22] [SONG] lead**
All of the tears, all of the pain,
rewriting life with our own words.
**[23:27] [SONG] lead**
We want to laugh it all away with you,
right up to the end. And that's a wrap!
***SIGN*** The Flour Chapter
# E6 - The Flour Chapter
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/G31UXDKGV/the-flour-chapter)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:02] Iroha; Kana; Chitose**
Hello there!
**[00:04] Iroha; Kana; Chitose**
Bull's-eye!
**[00:06] Iroha; Kana; Chitose**
Nin-nin!
**[00:07] Iroha; Kana; Chitose**
We're Bullet Kunoichi!
**[00:09] Kana**
You know, something's been bothering me.
**[00:11] Chitose**
Oh? What is it?
**[00:12] Kana**
I want to get better at housecleaning,
**[00:15] Kana**
but if I get too good, the emperor of darkness
might notice me or something.
**[00:21] Kana**
He'll say,
**[00:22] Kana**
"If you're so good at cleaning, how about
you wipe out the human race for me?"
**[00:24] Kana**
What if he asks me that? What should I do?
**[00:27] Chitose**
How would we know?
**[00:28] Chitose**
You went from cleaning house to
becoming the destroyer of worlds!
**[00:31] Iroha**
Why can't you just get a *little*
better at cleaning instead?
**[00:35] Kana**
That's easy for you to say.
**[00:38] [SONG] all**
Yeah!
**[00:38] [SONG] Yomogi**
So, what's comedy?
**[00:39] [SONG] Yayoi**
Yo!
**[00:40] [SONG] Yuzu**
Tough question, for me
**[00:41] [SONG] Yayoi**
What could it be?
It's too far out to see!
**[00:42] [SONG] Yuzu & Yomogi**
Be! See!
**[00:43] [SONG] Yomogi**
Boke and tsukkomi, in the zone
**[00:43] [SONG] Yayoi**
Ye ye, in the zone!
**[00:45] [SONG] Yuzu**
We got god-tier jokes on the horizon
**[00:45] [SONG] Yayoi & Yomogi**
God! Horizon!
**[00:47] [SONG] Kana**
Wanna see us split into bunshin
**[00:47] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Yeah!
**[00:48] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Bullets!
**[00:48] [SONG] Kana**
And hear gags flying at you like bullets?
**[00:50] [SONG] Kana**
Leave it to comedy ninjas!
**[00:51] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Nin-nin!
**[00:51] [SONG] Saeka**
High society, celebrity
**[00:51] [SONG] Hikari & Mako**
High! Celebrity!
**[00:53] [SONG] Saeka**
The cleanest jokes are our priority
**[00:54] [SONG] Hikari & Mako**
Priority!
**[00:56] [SONG] Miyu**
Yeah, Akudare, making you all laugh
**[00:56] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Yeah!
**[00:57] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Ah! Ah!
**[00:58] [SONG] Miyu**
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back
**[00:58] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back!
**[01:00] [SONG] Yuina**
We. Are. The. Invaders. Yo.
**[01:01] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
Ah Invaders
**[01:02] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
That should tell you all you need to know
**[01:03] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
Need to know!
**[01:04] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Yeah!
**[01:04] [SONG] Yuzu**
Shake it up, Wai-Wai!
**[01:04] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Wai-Wai!
**[01:05] [SONG] Yomogi**
Heat up the timeline!
**[01:06] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Timeline!
**[01:06] [SONG] Yayoi**
Scramble for the win,
we won't give up our pride
**[01:08] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Pride!
**[01:09] [SONG] Yomogi**
Found a new line
**[01:09] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Oh!
**[01:09] [SONG] Yuzu**
Gonna sweep the prime time
**[01:11] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Oh!
**[01:11] [SONG] Yayoi**
Who's on top then?
**[01:12] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Gotta take the Teppen!
**[01:12] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina**
Take it to the top
**[01:14] [SONG] all call**
Doin' it for real!
**[01:15] [SONG] Kana; Saeka**
We'll show you, giving everything
we got, oh yeah
**[01:16] [SONG] all call**
Oh yeah
**[01:17] [SONG] Miyu; Yuina**
Gonna face the challenge head-on
**[01:17] [SONG] all call**
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
**[01:19] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina**
Running straight ahead
**[01:19] [SONG] all call**
Yo! Yo! Yo!
**[01:21] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai**
Take it to the top
**[01:21] [SONG] all call**
Yeah that's right!
**[01:23] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai**
It's show
**[01:24] [SONG] Yomogi**
Don't slow down to hear them
call you funny, not a day
**[01:26] [SONG] Yuzu**
You'll never reach the top that way
**[01:26] [SONG] all call**
Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh yeah!
**[01:28] [SONG] Yayoi**
You know it's true, what we say
**[01:30] [SONG] all call**
Hey!
**[01:31] [SONG] all sing**
But this isn't about us just getting a laugh
**[01:34] [SONG] all call**
Yeah! Yeah!
**[01:37] [SONG] all sing**
That's not why we're here
It's much bigger, bigger than all that
**[01:40] [SONG] all call**
All that
**[01:41] [SONG] all sing**
We want to get
**[01:41] [SONG] all call**
We want to get, yeah!
**[01:44] [SONG] all sing**
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
**[01:44] [SONG] all call**
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
**[01:49] [SONG] all sing**
Yeah if we are the ones
that are making you laugh
**[01:49] [SONG] all call**
Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye!
**[01:54] [SONG] all sing**
We gotta go so hard it'll really,
really give us that, you know?
**[01:58] [SONG] all sing**
Top of the laugh
**[01:58] [SONG] all call**
Top of the laugh Ye~ah!
**[02:01] [SONG] all sing**
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way.
We're gonna make it to the top one day!
**[02:01] [SONG] all call**
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way,
oh! We're gonna make it to the top one day!
**[02:06] [SONG] Yayoi**
Aw yeah!
***SIGN*** The Flour Chapter
**[02:10] Seiji**
All right, then. See you later.
**[02:11] Yayoi**
Good luck at the World Maximum Power Outlet!
**[02:15] Yomogi**
No, it's the World Mammoth Museum. Right?
**[02:18] Kana**
Huh? It's the Wanbada Moscow Mule Contest.
**[02:20] Seiji**
That's totally wrong!
**[02:21] Seiji**
World Muscle Coliseum!
**[02:23] Seiji**
It's in America. It's the most influential
bodybuilding contest in the world!
**[02:29] Iroha**
Gimme two years, and I'll be there.
**[02:31] Seiji**
Step on up when you're ready, girl.
**[02:35] Yomogi**
You'll be gone four days?
**[02:36] Seiji**
Right. I'm a little worried about you,
so I planned a tight schedule.
**[02:41] Seiji**
Be good while I'm gone, okay?
**[02:42] Kana**
Just sail off like you're on a Black Ship
and leave the rest to us.
**[02:45] Chitose**
Is he going to open the
country or something?
**[02:47] Seiji**
Just don't make a mess or
get into any trouble, okay?
**[02:51] Iroha**
You worry too much!
**[02:52] Yayoi**
It's only four days. It'll be fine.
**[02:54] Yayoi**
Right, Yuzu?
**[02:55] Yuzu**
Huh? Um, yeah.
**[02:57] Yayoi**
What's wrong, Yuzu?
**[02:59] Yuzu**
N-Nothing. It's only four days.
No problem at all!
**[03:04] Seiji**
Yeah, I'm sure you're right.
**[03:06] Yuzu; Yayoi; Yomogi; Iroha; Kana; Chitose**
Have a safe trip!
**[03:10] Chitose**
What are you talking about?
**[03:11] Chitose**
What are you talking about?
**[03:13] Chitose**
Why a toothbrush?
**[03:14] Iroha**
It's great that you're
practicing your comebacks,
**[03:16] Iroha**
but don't get too carried away, Chitose.
**[03:19] Iroha**
Remember, since Seiji-san is gone,
we have to make our own meals, too.
**[03:24] Chitose**
If we split the work,
we'll figure something out.
**[03:27] Chitose**
I bet Celebri-Tea could
make something amazing.
**[03:30] Chitose**
At least their men in black will.
**[03:31] Iroha**
Oh right, *those* men in black.
**[03:33] Chitose**
Seiji-san sure is a worrywart, though.
**[03:36] Chitose**
The dorm isn't going to get trashed
or destroyed in just four days.
**[03:41] Iroha**
What's wrong?
**[03:43] Kana**
Spider! A spider!
**[03:44] Kana**
A spider which is a man!
**[03:45] Iroha**
Relax, Kana! It might be female!
**[03:48] Kana**
That doesn't matter!
**[03:50] Kana**
A weapon! I need a weapon!
**[03:52] Kana**
I don't do spiders!
**[03:54] Chitose**
You need something hard!
**[03:55] Iroha**
How about this?
**[03:56] Kana**
Thanks!
**[03:56] Chitose**
Huh? Hey!
**[03:57] Kana**
Chesuto!
**[04:05] Kana**
Uh...
**[04:07] Chitose**
What are we gonna do about this?
**[04:10] Iroha**
What *can* we do?
**[04:12] Iroha**
When Seiji-san comes back,
we'll just have to apologize.
**[04:15] Chitose**
That won't be enough!
**[04:17] Chitose**
You know how protective
Seiji-san is of this place!
**[04:20] Chitose**
If he finds out...
**[04:21] Iroha**
I-If he finds out?
**[04:23] Seiji**
Get to work!
**[04:26] Chitose; Iroha; Kana**
It's too heavy!
**[04:27] Chitose**
That'll totally happen.
**[04:29] Iroha**
We're in serious trouble!
**[04:31] Kana**
Then our only hope is to repair it.
**[04:34] Iroha**
Kana?
**[04:35] Chitose**
Where'd that uniform come from?
**[04:37] Kana**
Full disclosure, my uncle
is a famous carpenter.
**[04:40] Kana**
I started helping him out
at work when I was a kid.
**[04:44] Chitose**
Huh. I never knew that.
**[04:46] Kana**
Yeah, so repairing this
will be a piece of cake.
**[04:49] Iroha**
I've never seen Kana so responsible before!
**[04:51] Kana**
I'll show you what I can do.
**[04:58] Kana**
Well, that was a good day's work.
**[05:01] Chitose**
What have you done?!
**[05:03] Iroha**
Don't make it sound like a joke!
**[05:05] Chitose**
That's even bigger than the first hole!
**[05:07] Chitose**
Are you sure you *helped* your uncle?
**[05:09] Kana**
Yeah. Until I was about three.
**[05:11] Chitose**
You were just a baby! If you'd been a
digital monster, you'd still be a ball!
**[05:15] Kana**
I couldn't help it!
**[05:16] Kana**
If I'd kept at it, I would've eventually
become the genius carpentry artist
**[05:20] Kana**
in charge of building the
European royal palace.
**[05:23] Kana**
But I couldn't speak European,
so I decided to stop helping out.
**[05:27] Chitose**
You've been daydreaming like
this since you were three?!
**[05:30] Iroha**
Fine. I'll take care of it myself, then.
**[05:33] Kana**
Iroha-senpai!
**[05:34] Chitose**
Iroha, are you up to that?
**[05:36] Iroha**
I never told you, but I've done
tons of construction work before.
**[05:40] Kana**
Really?
**[05:41] Iroha**
Yeah, in video games.
**[05:42] Chitose**
Video games?!
**[05:43] Iroha**
But I'm our only hope now. Just trust me!
**[05:47] Iroha**
Here I go!
**[05:57] Iroha**
Real life isn't like a video game.
**[06:00] Chitose**
Yeah. You can't restart.
**[06:03] Miyu**
Hey! It's almost time for supper!
**[06:06] Chitose**
We'd better go.
**[06:08] Kana**
Yeah, yeah.
**[06:09] Kana**
There's still time before
the manager returns.
**[06:11] Kana**
We'll figure something out.
***SIGN*** Young Wai-Wai
**[06:15] Hina**
Supper's almost ready.
**[06:17] Yayoi**
Okay, just a minute.
**[06:20] Yayoi**
Yuzu, what's wrong?
**[06:23] Yayoi**
Are you sure you're okay?
**[06:24] Yuzu**
Yeah, I'm fine.
**[06:27] Yuzu**
I knew I was getting a canker sore.
**[06:30] Yuzu**
Darn it. Even talking hurts.
**[06:33] Yomogi**
Yuzu, do you have a
stomachache or something?
**[06:36] Yuzu**
Not at all. I'll be out in a second.
**[06:40] Yuzu**
We still have to practice,
so I don't want to distract them.
**[06:44] Yayoi**
Something is definitely wrong.
Is she keeping a secret from us?
**[06:49] Yomogi**
Maybe something she's afraid to talk about.
**[06:51] Yomogi**
Money problems or something?
**[06:53] Yayoi**
We can't let her suffer alone!
**[06:55] Yayoi**
We gotta figure out what
it is and help her fix it.
**[06:58] Yomogi**
You're right. That's what friends are for.
**[07:01] Mone**
Eh? Your stagehands are all gone?
**[07:04] Saeka**
They all took time off and
left for vacation yesterday.
**[07:08] Hikari**
It's just like you to offer
them benefits, Saeka!
**[07:12] Saeka**
But I'm a little perturbed
by your reactions.
**[07:15] Saeka**
Did you think we can't prepare a
decent meal without our attendants?
**[07:22] Mone**
*I did.*
**[07:22] Yuina**
*I did.*
**[07:23] Misao**
*I did.*
**[07:24] Hina**
*I did.*
**[07:25] Miyu**
I did!
**[07:25] Misao**
Don't say it out loud!
**[07:27] Saeka**
Very well, then.
**[07:28] Saeka**
We will make you thoroughly understand
that we aren't simply useless celebrities.
**[07:33] Saeka**
Is everything prepared?
**[07:34] Mako**
Of course!
**[07:36] Chihori**
I'm looking forward to trying
an Earthling celebrity meal.
**[07:39] Misao**
A celebrity meal? You know what
that's gotta be, right, Hina?
**[07:42] Hina**
A high-class meal in
Ibaraki would be a melon.
**[07:45] Mone**
For melons, you gotta go to Hokkaido.
**[07:48] Yuina**
Mm-hmm. Yubari melons are the best in Japan!
**[07:50] Miyu**
You amateurs wouldn't understand.
**[07:52] Mone**
Hmm? What'd you say?
**[07:54] Miyu**
Ibaraki is the largest
producer of melons in Japan.
**[07:57] Miyu**
It's been that way for 20 years.
**[07:58] Miyu**
Melons are the proud local
delicacy of Ibaraki!
**[08:01] Mone**
Huh. But are Ibaraki melons even famous?
**[08:05] Miyu**
They're totally famous! You've never
heard of the Ibaraking melon?
**[08:09] Yuina**
Sorry, I haven't.
**[08:11] Miyu**
What the heck is wrong with you!
**[08:16] Miyu**
Misao, Hina.
**[08:17] Miyu**
I guess I'm gonna have to do stand-up
**[08:20] Miyu**
in this costume to promote Ibaraki melons!
**[08:22] Misao**
Oh, no, you ain't.
**[08:24] Misao**
If you go on stage looking like a ball,
nobody will listen to the jokes!
**[08:27] Miyu**
Oh, that's cold!
**[08:28] Miyu**
You really gonna let Hokkaido
steal our melons' citizenship?
**[08:31] Hina**
I kinda don't care.
**[08:33] Miyu**
Ugh...
**[08:33] Misao**
It's ready!
**[08:35] Chihori**
Celeb dinner time!
**[08:37] Mone**
What is it?
**[08:39] Saeka**
Nagoya's famous Taiwan
ramen, Brazilian style.
**[08:42] Misao**
Huh? What?
**[08:44] Yomogi**
You stuffed three different
place names into that line.
**[08:47] Saeka**
There, there. Don't be so picky.
Please help yourselves.
**[08:51] Yuina**
Delicious!
**[08:52] Kana**
I've never had it before,
but the flavor is so familiar.
**[08:55] Saeka**
I never had it, either, until I
became friends with Mako.
**[09:00] Hikari**
She said, "I'll show you a celeb
delicacy you've never had before,"
**[09:03] Hikari**
and introduced us to Taiwan ramen.
**[09:06] Saeka**
It was as if the ingredients and seasonings
weren't blending, but were battling.
**[09:10] Saeka**
What an exhilarating flavor!
**[09:11] Saeka**
One mouthful would be so rich with
flavor you'd want to drink water,
**[09:14] Saeka**
but instead you'd go for another!
Mysteriously appealing!
**[09:17] Saeka**
I've eaten all kinds of world-class
cuisine since childhood,
**[09:20] Saeka**
but I assure you I've never had anything
quite as appealing as Taiwan ramen!
**[09:25] Mako**
I don't think I can stand all this praise.
**[09:28] Hikari**
If you've never had junk food,
the flavor is a revelation.
**[09:32] Mone**
It is actually pretty good,
but what part of it is Brazilian?
**[09:36] Saeka**
That was...
**[09:37] Saeka**
The cook who taught me the recipe
practiced jiu-jitsu as a hobby.
***SIGN*** Gureishii Brothers
**[09:41] Misao**
Brazilian jiu-jitsu?!
**[09:44] Yayoi**
What's wrong, Yuzu? Aren't you eating?
**[09:47] Yomogi**
It's got a funny name,
but it's actually good.
**[09:49] Yuzu**
Eh? No, I'm good.
**[09:51] Yuzu**
* If I eat that with this*
* canker sore, I'm a goner!*
**[09:55] Yayoi; Yomogi**
Does that mean... she's on a diet?!
**[09:58] Yayoi**
She doesn't look like
she's gained any weight,
**[10:00] Yayoi**
but sometimes people get
really self-conscious!
**[10:02] Yomogi**
I get it. She's hearing the sirens
from the diet police inside her head!
**[10:06] Yayoi**
We need to make her realize
she doesn't need a diet.
**[10:10] Yayoi**
And for that...
**[10:12] Yayoi**
Oh, by the way, have you lost weight, Yuzu?
**[10:15] Yuzu**
Huh?
**[10:15] Yomogi**
Yeah, totally! For a second, I thought
you were a twig sitting there!
**[10:19] Yomogi**
We just gotta flatter her.
Even if it's obvious. Keep flattering!
**[10:22] Yayoi**
Skinny things... What else is skinny?
**[10:24] Yayoi**
Yeah, I thought she was a loose thread!
**[10:27] Yomogi**
Nanofiber! So skinny I almost
didn't see you at all!
**[10:31] Yuzu**
*Oh, no. Are they concerned about me?*
**[10:33] Yuzu**
* Are they worried*
* I'm not feeling well?*
**[10:36] Yuzu**
*In that case, I gotta eat!*
**[10:43] Yayoi**
Yuzu!
**[10:44] Yomogi**
What's wrong?
**[10:45] Yayoi**
It must be guilt! The guilt of eating
high-calorie food while on diet!
**[10:50] Yayoi**
The guilt has turned into a poison
that's eating her instead!
**[10:54] Yomogi**
This can't be happening!
**[10:56] Miyu**
Thank you for the food.
**[10:58] Mako**
How was it?
**[10:59] Misao**
I'll admit it's good, but it's still
junk food. It wasn't enough for supper.
**[11:04] Mone**
One more dish would be nice.
**[11:07] Saeka**
I thought you would say that.
**[11:09] Miyu**
You mean...?
**[11:10] Saeka**
Of course I have something else ready.
**[11:12] Saeka**
A Nagoya delicacy. Hitsumabushi eel!
**[11:18] Saeka**
I procured the highest-quality
eel for you all to enjoy!
**[11:25] Kana**
I believe they're still alive, ma'am.
**[11:27] Saeka**
I wanted to serve you the
freshest ingredients possible.
**[11:30] Mako; Hikari**
Oof!
**[11:32] Mako**
What the...?! It's all slimy!
**[11:34] Hikari**
Aah!
**[11:35] Hikari**
Mako, it went that way!
**[11:37] Mako**
I just had it!
**[11:38] Saeka**
Hello, eels, would you mind
joining us over here?
**[11:41] Hikari**
They can't understand you!
**[11:45] Saeka**
Eels, would you kindly
stop being so slippery?
**[11:50] Hikari**
They can't stop being eels!
**[11:52] Saeka**
Please accept my apologies.
**[11:54] Saeka**
Let's save the eel dish for another time.
**[11:57] Iroha; Kana; Chitose; Hina; Miyu; Misao; Chihori; Mone; Yuina**
Yeah, let's.
**[12:04] Kana**
Huh?
**[12:06] Chitose**
Kana? Good. You came to.
**[12:09] Kana**
Where are we?
**[12:11] Chitose**
It appears we've been locked up.
**[12:14] Kana**
That's one heck of an escalation!
***SIGN*** Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
**[12:21] Chitose**
It won't work.
**[12:23] Chitose**
There's no way we can cover it up.
***SIGN*** 2. Insist that a titan attacked on us.
***SIGN*** Manager -> A titan would make international news!
***SIGN*** 3. Oh, do those look like holes? They're for bubble tea. (^^)v lolol
***SIGN*** Manager -> They're a little big for that!!
***SIGN*** 1. Make him believe that "ruins" is a new design concept for the room.
***SIGN*** Manager -> You can't do that with my room!
**[12:25] Iroha**
We can't talk our way
out of a disaster this big.
**[12:29] Kana**
There isn't even room to lay out our futons.
**[12:31] Iroha**
We'll have to make an honest apology.
***SIGN*** 1. Make him believe that "ruins" is a new design concept for the room.
***SIGN*** Manager -> You can't do that with my room!
***SIGN*** 2. Insist that a titan attacked on us.
***SIGN*** Manager -> A titan would make international news!
***SIGN*** 3. Oh, do those look like holes? They're for bubble tea (^ ^)v lolol
***SIGN*** Manager -> They're a little big for that!!
**[12:33] Iroha**
Seiji-san isn't a monster. He'll forgive us.
**[12:37] Kana**
I'm a little peckish.
**[12:41] Kana**
Let's see.
**[12:43] Kana**
Oh! Found the fridge.
**[12:46] Kana**
Hee-heheh-heheh.
**[12:53] Chitose**
Kana?
**[12:54] Iroha**
What happened?
**[12:56] Iroha**
Um...
**[12:58] Iroha**
Stairs?
**[13:04] Chitose**
Is this...
**[13:06] Iroha**
A weight room!
**[13:09] Iroha**
Look at all this stuff!
**[13:15] Chitose**
Hey, how do we open it?
**[13:18] Iroha**
Hold on a second.
***SIGN*** This is Seiji's
S E C R E T ♥♥♥
weight room.
Trespassers will be locked up until they turn into zombies.
tee-hee♥
**[13:23] Iroha**
What a weird way to use hearts.
**[13:27] Iroha**
Where's Kana?
**[13:34] Chitose**
That's what happened.
**[13:36] Kana**
No way!
**[13:37] Chitose**
I mean, an underground weight room is fine,
**[13:40] Chitose**
but what's the point of
punishing trespassers?
**[13:42] Kana**
Where's Iroha-senpai?
**[13:44] Chitose**
Oh...
**[13:47] Chitose**
She gave up and started lifting.
**[13:52] Iroha**
Why don't you try it, Kana?
**[13:53] Kana**
She's so full of energy.
***SIGN*** 1. Make him believe that "ruins" is a new design concept for the room.
***SIGN*** Manager -> You can't do that with my room!
***SIGN*** 2. Insist that a titan attacked on us.
***SIGN*** Manager -> A titan would make international news!
***SIGN*** 3. Oh, do those look like holes? They're for bubble tea (^ ^)v lolol
***SIGN*** Manager -> They're a little big for that!!
**[13:58] Yayoi**
What's this all about?
**[13:59] Yomogi**
I don't know.
**[14:00] Yayoi**
By the way, I haven't seen the Bullet
Kunoichi girls since morning.
**[14:04] Yayoi**
Where did they go?
**[14:06] Yomogi**
You're right. That's weird.
**[14:08] Miyu**
Kansai is full of natto-haters.
**[14:11] Miyu**
Maybe they were cursed by the God of Natto.
**[14:13] Yomogi**
What happens if you're cursed
by the God of Natto?
**[14:17] Miyu**
What happens is...
**[14:18] Miyu**
When you go to wash your face in the morning,
**[14:21] Miyu**
natto pours out of the faucet, all stringy
and sticky, and then it never turns off!
**[14:27] Yomogi**
That's simply terrifying.
**[14:29] Mone**
It's ready.
***SIGN*** Chopsticks
**[14:31] Yuina**
Hokkaido-style zangi!
**[14:33] Chihori; Yuina**
Come and get it!
**[14:35] Mone**
Come and get it.
**[14:36] Yayoi**
Wow! That karaage looks delicious!
**[14:38] Mone**
It isn't karaage. It's zangi.
**[14:40] Yayoi**
Huh? Isn't it fried chicken?
**[14:43] Mone**
It *is* fried chicken. That's why it's zangi.
**[14:46] Yayoi**
But fried chicken is called karaage.
**[14:48] Mone**
When you're from Hokkaido
and you fry chicken, it's zangi!
**[14:52] Mone**
A robot might use a "beam saber,"
**[14:55] Mone**
but when a knight with psychic powers
holds it, it becomes a "light saber," right?
**[14:58] Mone**
It's the same thing.
**[15:00] Miyu**
Okay. But if someone from Hokkaido fries it,
**[15:02] Miyu**
and someone from Ibaraki
serves it, what is it then?
**[15:05] Chihori**
The contradictions of its existence
would probably make it self-destruct.
**[15:09] Misao**
What a waste of good chicken!
**[15:11] Yuina**
Wh-Why are you saying it to me?
**[15:16] Mako**
Hey, this is super delicious!
**[15:18] Saeka**
Yes, it is very juicy.
**[15:22] Miyu**
Yummy!
**[15:23] Mone**
Oh, good. I was worried the
flavor would be a mess, too.
**[15:28] Yomogi**
Sounds like there's something behind that.
**[15:31] Yuina**
Actually, we don't cook
much to begin with, so...
**[15:37] Yomogi**
Ahh...
**[15:39] Yomogi**
That's trouble.
**[15:40] Yuina**
We're sorry.
**[15:41] Yayoi**
All good! All good! If we clean
up together, it'll be a snap!
**[15:45] Yuina**
Th-That's okay. We'll take care of it.
**[15:48] Yuina**
Seiji-san would freak out if he came
back and found Takako-so all messed up.
**[15:53] Yuina**
We should take responsibility
for what we did.
**[15:56] Yuina**
Right, Mone?
**[15:59] Mone**
Sorry. I have to go bring
an end to the Empire.
**[16:02] Yuina**
Don't try to run away!
**[16:05] Chihori**
Sorry! I have to go defeat a space monster.
**[16:08] Yuina**
You're trying to get out of it, too?
**[16:10] Yuina**
You shouldn't lie like that!
**[16:12] Chihori**
Huh? But it isn't a lie.
**[16:16] Yomogi**
Yuzu?
***SIGN*** Sancho All-Purpose Flour
Sancho
Flour
Udon • Okonomiyaki • Tempura
**[16:22] Yayoi**
The bath is a problem, though.
**[16:24] Yayoi**
I couldn't get in yesterday
with all the eels.
**[16:27] Yayoi**
I really want a bath today.
**[16:29] Yuina**
What?
**[16:33] Yuina**
What the heck are you doing?
**[16:34] Hina**
Gathering materials.
**[16:36] Hina**
Miyu said, "If we can't use the bath,
we'll make a new one." See?
**[16:42] Miyu**
A bath made to *Mito Komon Neo* specs!
**[16:44] Misao**
But lumber's really expensive now,
so we decided to use what we had on hand.
**[16:49] Yuina**
You still can't tear up the floor, though!
**[16:52] Hina**
How many more planks?
**[16:54] Yuina**
I just said you can't tear up the floor!
**[17:00] Miyu**
I beg you!
**[17:01] Miyu**
I'm serious!
**[17:02] Hikari**
P-Please, stop begging. Get up.
**[17:05] Saeka**
You want us to use the
bath you made? Really?
**[17:10] Miyu**
Yeah! It's gotta be you guys!
**[17:13] Saeka**
But we were about to go capture the eels.
**[17:17] Saeka**
Why don't you use the bath yourself?
**[17:20] Miyu**
No way!
**[17:21] Miyu**
A *Mito Komon Neo* bath scene
needs to have sex appeal!
**[17:25] Miyu**
But I don't have any,
darn it! Zero sex appeal.
**[17:27] Miyu**
Look! Just look at this!
**[17:30] Mako**
Okay, fine. I guess I could
put some skin in that game.
**[17:35] Miyu**
I wasn't asking you, Mako.
**[17:36] Miyu**
I'm asking Saeka and Hikari.
**[17:38] Mako**
Why?! Just use me!
**[17:40] Miyu**
You aren't taking *Mito Komon Neo*'s
bath scenes seriously!
**[17:43] Miyu**
You're hopelessly unsexy, and that
flat chest wouldn't do the job!
**[17:47] Mako**
Grr! How can *you* tell
*me* I'm hopelessly unsexy!
**[17:53] Yomogi**
Yuzu was totally staring at that
bag of flour in the kitchen.
**[17:57] Yomogi**
I think I figured out what's bothering her.
**[18:00] Yayoi**
The flour... is it about Konamons?
**[18:03] Yomogi**
Yup.
**[18:04] Yomogi**
Your uncle runs an okonomiyaki restaurant.
My family makes takoyaki.
**[18:08] Yomogi**
That's why we named our duo
Konamons, or "Flour People."
**[18:10] Yomogi**
But Yuzu isn't associated with
any kind of powdery substance.
**[18:12] Yomogi**
Is she trying to acquire a powder of her own?
**[18:16] Yomogi**
But a powder that isn't for
okonomiyaki or takoyaki...
**[18:19] Yayoi; Yomogi**
That dangerous white powder!
**[18:21] Yayoi**
Oh, no! That stuff will get her arrested!
**[18:24] Yomogi**
But it's the only possible explanation.
**[18:26] Yomogi**
The flour bag in the kitchen must
actually have the bad stuff in it!
***SIGN*** Sancho All-Purpose Flour
Sancho
Flour
Udon • Okonomiyaki • Tempura
**[18:30] Yomogi**
She's hiding it in there!
**[18:32] Yayoi**
Then the reason the Bullet
Kunoichi girls disappeared
***SIGN*** Ahahahaha!
**[18:36] Yayoi**
is because they figured out Yuzu's secret?
**[18:40] Yomogi**
Yuzu, what have you done?
**[18:44] Yayoi**
Still, even if she bears that guilt,
I want to stand by Yuzu!
**[18:50] Yomogi**
That's right. We're the
only allies Yuzu has!
**[18:56] Yomogi**
Who's there?
**[18:57] Chihori**
That's so moving!
**[18:59] Yayoi; Yomogi**
Chihori-chan?!
**[19:03] Chitose**
Nobody's come to rescue us.
**[19:05] Chitose**
Are we gonna be stuck here
until Seiji-san gets back?
**[19:08] Kana**
I'm sick of protein drinks.
**[19:11] Kana**
Why are protein drinks the only food here?
**[19:13] Iroha**
There's some protein cookies, too.
**[19:16] Kana**
I hate those. They're way too dry.
**[19:18] Iroha**
You'll never build any muscle
if you're that picky.
**[19:21] Kana**
But I don't want muscle.
**[19:23] Kana**
Ah... ugh!
**[19:27] Chitose**
Kana?
**[19:30] Chitose**
Kana!
**[19:31] Iroha**
Oh, no! You can't down a
protein cookie in one bite!
**[19:34] Chitose**
She needs water! Water!
***SIGN*** This is Seiji's
S E C R E T ♥♥♥
weight room.
Trespassers will be locked up until
they turn into zombies.
tee-hee♥
**[19:36] Iroha**
We don't have any!
**[19:38] Hikari; Mako**
We're done!
**[19:41] Saeka**
That was exhausting.
**[19:42] Hikari**
But now we should be able to
make hitsumabushi tomorrow.
**[19:46] Miyu**
Just a little more!
**[19:47] Hina**
I'm so exhausted.
**[19:50] Yuzu**
It got better!
**[19:51] Yuzu**
Oh, good. I guess that vitamin drink helped.
**[19:55] Chitose**
Kana! We can't let you die here!
**[19:58] Iroha**
Cough it up! Kana!
**[20:00] Chihori**
Here, use this.
**[20:02] Yayoi**
What is it?
**[20:03] Chihori**
A pistol-style multipurpose weapon
of mass destruction. The RX-EVA-999.
**[20:07] Yomogi**
Those exist in this setting?
**[20:09] Yayoi**
Oh, cool. You'll let us use it?
**[20:12] Chihori**
If you're going to fight for
your friend, you need power, right?
**[20:15] Chihori**
Use it however you like.
**[20:17] Yayoi**
Okay, but how does it work?
**[20:21] Yuzu**
Yayoi! Yomogi!
**[20:23] Yayoi**
Yuzu?!
**[20:23] Yuzu**
Sorry if I made you worry.
**[20:25] Yuzu**
The truth is, in my mouth...
**[20:27] Yayoi**
Ah! A spider!
**[20:31] Miyu**
Perfect!
**[20:34] Yuina**
We're finally done!
**[20:46] Seiji**
I wonder if they're doing all right.
**[20:53] Seiji**
Wha—!
**[20:55] Seiji**
This can't...
**[21:00] Yayoi**
Oh, Seiji-san!
**[21:02] Yuina**
Welcome home!
**[21:05] Seiji**
What the hell happened?!
**[21:10] Iroha**
So you didn't get any better at cleaning.
**[21:13] Kana**
It'll never happen. My head was in the clouds.
**[21:16] Kana**
I a-*spider*ed to a *web*-el beyond my reach.
**[21:19] Chitose**
Trying to be a wise guy, huh?
**[21:21] Chitose**
Let's wrap it up.
**[21:23] Iroha; Kana; Chitose**
Thank you!
**[21:26] Iroha**
Will it ever end?
**[21:27] Miyu**
My cypress bath...
**[21:28] Misao**
I can't take this any more.
**[21:29] Hina**
I'm exhausted.
**[21:30] Mone**
There's no way we can do this by ourselves!
**[21:33] Seiji**
All right, quit moving your lips
and start using your hands!
**[21:36] Yayoi**
What was that ray gun for, anyway?
**[21:39] Chihori**
Well, it turns out the space
monster alert was a false alarm.
**[21:43] Yayoi**
Oh. I don't get it, but I guess that's good.
**[21:51] Kana**
Sp-sp-sp-sp-sp-sp...
**[21:52] Kana**
Spiderspiderspiderspiderspiderspider...
**[21:54] Kana**
Spider!
**[22:00] Yayoi**
Seiji-san, are you okay?
**[22:02] Miyu**
What a mess.
**[22:05] [SONG] Lead**
Go! We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
**[22:09] [SONG] back**
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
**[22:16] [SONG] lead**
Hi! Hi! Hello! Let's get
on with the show today.
**[22:19] [SONG] lead**
We've just got four minutes, but we
hope you hear everything that we say.
**[22:22] [SONG] back**
Hey there cutie, hey there cutie,
didn't even miss a beat there, cutie.
**[22:24] [SONG] lead**
We hope you enjoy the show today.
**[22:27] [SONG] lead**
Here at home with you, in your living room,
we'll put a twinkle into your eyes.
**[22:33] [SONG] lead**
We've all dreamed to see if we could be
on a stage so free. Now it's a reality!
**[22:42] [SONG] lead**
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
**[22:45] [SONG] lead**
It's all good when we're laughing together.
**[22:48] [SONG] lead**
If we bomb, slip, even if we cry,
so what! That's still part of our destiny.
**[22:53] [SONG] lead**
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
**[22:56] [SONG] lead**
We'll hit it big if we
keep laughing together.
**[22:59] [SONG] lead**
We never knew that life
could ever be like this,
**[23:02] [SONG] lead**
and now that we're going, you know
there's no way we'll ever stop!
**[23:05] [SONG] lead**
We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
**[23:09] [SONG] back**
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
**[23:10] [SONG] lead**
All of our searching, all of our
training is fading out into the past.
**[23:16] [SONG] lead**
But to us now, those memories
will always be so precious.
**[23:22] [SONG] lead**
All of the tears, all of the pain,
rewriting life with our own words.
**[23:27] [SONG] lead**
We want to laugh it all away with you,
right up to the end. And that's a wrap!
***SIGN*** The Mail-Order Chapter
# E7 - The Mail-Order Chapter
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GPWUK4NPM/the-mail-order-chapter)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:01] Miyu**
Hi, everyone! We're Akudare Kingdom!
**[00:04] Miyu**
Love saves Ibaraki!
**[00:05] Misao**
You're aiming too low!
**[00:07] Misao**
Love should save the whole planet!
**[00:09] Miyu**
Hey, hey, Ibaraki is practically
synonymous with onsen, right?
**[00:12] Hina**
Ibaraki isn't known for onsen at all.
**[00:15] Hina**
Ibaraki is only famous
for natto and hoodlums.
**[00:17] Misao**
Hoodlums aren't a local specialty!
**[00:19] Misao**
Ibaraki might not have a reputation for it,
**[00:22] Misao**
but Oarai has tons of nice onsen.
**[00:25] Hina**
But don't you think onsen
are kind of creepy?
**[00:28] Misao**
No way! Not at all.
**[00:30] Misao**
It's always fun and games at the onsen.
**[00:34] [SONG] all**
Yeah!
**[00:34] [SONG] Yomogi**
So, what's comedy?
**[00:35] [SONG] Yayoi**
Yo!
**[00:36] [SONG] Yuzu**
Tough question, for me
**[00:37] [SONG] Yayoi**
What could it be?
It's too far out to see!
**[00:38] [SONG] Yuzu & Yomogi**
Be! See!
**[00:39] [SONG] Yomogi**
Boke and tsukkomi, in the zone
**[00:39] [SONG] Yayoi**
Ye ye, in the zone!
**[00:41] [SONG] Yuzu**
We got god-tier jokes on the horizon
**[00:41] [SONG] Yayoi & Yomogi**
God! Horizon!
**[00:43] [SONG] Kana**
Wanna see us split into bunshin
**[00:43] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Yeah!
**[00:44] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Bullets!
**[00:44] [SONG] Kana**
And hear gags flying at you like bullets?
**[00:46] [SONG] Kana**
Leave it to comedy ninjas!
**[00:47] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Nin-nin!
**[00:47] [SONG] Saeka**
High society, celebrity
**[00:47] [SONG] Hikari & Mako**
High! Celebrity!
**[00:49] [SONG] Saeka**
The cleanest jokes are our priority
**[00:50] [SONG] Hikari & Mako**
Priority!
**[00:52] [SONG] Miyu**
Yeah, Akudare, making you all laugh
**[00:52] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Yeah!
**[00:53] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Ah! Ah!
**[00:54] [SONG] Miyu**
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back
**[00:54] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back!
**[00:56] [SONG] Yuina**
We. Are. The. Invaders. Yo.
**[00:57] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
Ah Invaders
**[00:58] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
That should tell you all you need to know
**[00:59] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
Need to know!
**[01:00] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Yeah!
**[01:00] [SONG] Yuzu**
Shake it up, Wai-Wai!
**[01:00] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Wai-Wai!
**[01:01] [SONG] Yomogi**
Heat up the timeline!
**[01:01] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Timeline!
**[01:02] [SONG] Yayoi**
Scramble for the win,
we won't give up our pride
**[01:04] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Pride!
**[01:05] [SONG] Yomogi**
Found a new line
**[01:05] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Oh!
**[01:05] [SONG] Yuzu**
Gonna sweep the prime time
**[01:07] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Oh!
**[01:07] [SONG] Yayoi**
Who's on top then?
**[01:08] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Gotta take the Teppen!
**[01:08] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina**
Take it to the top
**[01:10] [SONG] all call**
Doin' it for real!
**[01:11] [SONG] Kana; Saeka**
We'll show you, giving everything
we got, oh yeah
**[01:12] [SONG] all call**
Oh yeah
**[01:13] [SONG] Miyu; Yuina**
Gonna face the challenge head-on
**[01:13] [SONG] all call**
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
**[01:15] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina**
Running straight ahead
**[01:15] [SONG] all call**
Yo! Yo! Yo!
**[01:17] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai**
Take it to the top
**[01:17] [SONG] all call**
Yeah that's right!
**[01:19] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai**
It's show
**[01:20] [SONG] Yomogi**
Don't slow down to hear them
call you funny, not a day
**[01:22] [SONG] Yuzu**
You'll never reach the top that way
**[01:22] [SONG] all call**
Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh yeah!
**[01:24] [SONG] Yayoi**
You know it's true, what we say
**[01:26] [SONG] all call**
Hey!
**[01:27] [SONG] all sing**
But this isn't about us just getting a laugh
**[01:30] [SONG] all call**
Yeah! Yeah!
**[01:33] [SONG] all sing**
That's not why we're here
It's much bigger, bigger than all that
**[01:36] [SONG] all call**
All that
**[01:37] [SONG] all sing**
We want to get
**[01:37] [SONG] all call**
We want to get, yeah!
**[01:40] [SONG] all sing**
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
**[01:40] [SONG] all call**
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
**[01:45] [SONG] all sing**
Yeah if we are the ones
that are making you laugh
**[01:45] [SONG] all call**
Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye!
**[01:50] [SONG] all sing**
We gotta go so hard it'll really,
really give us that, you know?
**[01:54] [SONG] all sing**
Top of the laugh
**[01:54] [SONG] all call**
Top of the laugh Ye~ah!
**[01:57] [SONG] all sing**
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way.
We're gonna make it to the top one day!
**[01:57] [SONG] all call**
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way,
oh! We're gonna make it to the top one day!
**[02:02] [SONG] Yayoi**
Aw yeah!
**[02:04] Seiji**
I can tell you've all been
slacking off recently.
***SIGN*** The Mail-Order Chapter
**[02:07] Seiji**
Did you forget you're still in the middle
of the qualifier for the Teppen Grand Prix?
**[02:11] Seiji**
We can't have that!
**[02:13] Seiji**
You need to aim for the top, so I'll help
you get your minds and bodies back in shape.
**[02:18] Seiji**
While I'm repairing Takako-so,
you're going to a mandatory training camp.
**[02:22] Seiji**
I've got the perfect place for you.
**[02:24] Seiji**
It's an old inn owned by the Teppen Grand
Prix Committee that isn't being used now.
**[02:29] Seiji**
And it's called...
**[02:33] Miyu**
Is this it?
***SIGN*** Do'em Inn
**[02:36] Barbra**
Took you long enough.
**[02:38] Barbra**
Welcome to Do'em Inn.
**[02:43] Chitose**
"Do'em Inn"? After "Takako-so"?
**[02:46] Chitose**
What's with all the bad jokes?
**[02:48] Barbra**
You must never lose your sense of humor.
**[02:51] Barbra**
That is the policy of the
Teppen Grand Prix Committee.
**[02:54] Yayoi**
Are you a committee member too, Granny?
**[02:57] Barbra**
That's right. I'm Hotei Barbra.
**[02:59] Barbra**
Just call me Barbra.
**[03:01] Yomogi**
What an unusual name.
**[03:02] Barbra**
I used to work in a hair salon.
**[03:05] Chitose**
Your name is *Barber*a?!
**[03:06] Barbra**
We're very proud of our outdoor bath here.
**[03:09] Barbra**
We're far from the hustle and bustle of
the city, so please relax and enjoy.
***SIGN*** Bean Room
**[03:18] Takada**
*Yeah!*
***SIGN*** You Gotta Buy It
**[03:18] Takada**
* Once again, we're bringing you unusual*
* products you won't find anywhere else!*
**[03:23] Hina**
What's wrong, Misao?
**[03:25] Misao**
It feels like someone's watching me.
**[03:27] Misao**
It's like a cold draft or a chill up the spine.
**[03:31] Misao**
I mean, isn't this inn
just a little too creepy?
**[03:34] Misao**
It might even be haunted!
***SIGN*** Shriek
**[03:37] Hina**
Misao, I didn't know you
were such a chicken.
**[03:39] Misao**
Huh? The heck I am!
***SIGN*** Mirin
***SIGN*** Salt
**[03:42] Misao**
I'll take out all the ghosts
with salt and mirin!
**[03:45] Misao**
I ain't scared at all! Why would
I be scared of anything?!
**[03:46] Hina**
Huh. So Misao's a chicken?
**[03:49] Hina**
That's unexpected.
**[03:50] Hina**
Right, Miyu?
**[03:53] Hina**
Miyu?
**[03:54] Miyu**
Har har! Hilarious!
**[03:56] Miyu**
This is the funniest manga I've ever read!
**[03:59] Hina**
I didn't expect that either.
**[04:00] Hina**
I thought you were only interested
in *Mito Komon Neo*, Miyu.
**[04:03] Miyu**
That ain't true!
**[04:04] Miyu**
But this one's a classic!
**[04:06] Miyu**
It's an official spinoff of *Mito Komon Neo*.
***SIGN*** m 142 57 l 175 50 189 137 172 152 157 145
***SIGN*** Ooo-
ooh!
***SIGN*** m 462 196 l 510 185 535 321 500 337 485 323
***SIGN*** Ko-
mon
Kick!
***SIGN*** Pow
**[04:09] Miyu**
*Detective Komon*!
**[04:11] Hina**
*Detective*... *Komon*?
**[04:13] Miyu**
Yeah. Komon-sama got run over
by a cow and croaked,
**[04:16] Miyu**
but was reincarnated in the modern day,
**[04:18] Miyu**
and now goes after evil magistrate
types and totally beats them up!
**[04:20] Hina**
And you think that's funny?
**[04:25] Misao**
A piano?
**[04:26] Miyu**
Oh, yeah. It sure sounds pretty.
**[04:30] Hina**
But isn't that... a little weird?
**[04:34] Yayoi**
Wow!
**[04:36] Yayoi**
Looks delicious!
**[04:37] Barbra**
How are you liking the inn?
**[04:39] Barbra**
Are you enjoying yourselves?
**[04:40] Kana**
Definitely! The scenery is great,
**[04:42] Kana**
there's an outdoor bath,
and the food looks delicious!
**[04:45] Kana**
We've got no complaints!
**[04:46] Hikari**
The piano performance was nice, too.
**[04:48] Chitose**
The song really added to the mood.
**[04:52] Barbra**
Piano?
**[04:54] Yuzu**
What's wrong, Barbra-san?
**[04:56] Barbra**
I-It's nothing.
**[04:59] Barbra**
Sorry about this. I'll clean it up.
**[05:04] Yuzu**
I wonder what's wrong.
**[05:06] Yayoi**
Is she pianophobic?
**[05:07] Misao**
I told you, something's not right.
**[05:11] Yayoi**
Aah!
**[05:12] Yomogi**
What is it this time?
**[05:14] Kana**
The piano. It's a piano recital in the dark!
**[05:17] Mone**
Or is it space? Are we adrift
in the vastness of space?
**[05:21] Miyu**
I bet we were swallowed up by a monkfish!
**[05:24] Yayoi**
Oh! Sashimi tastes so good in the dark.
**[05:26] Chitose**
You're all too random!
**[05:30] Iroha**
Oh. It's back on.
**[05:32] Misao**
But what happened?
**[05:34] Yuina**
What's that?
**[05:41] Miyu**
Um...
**[05:43] Miyu**
"If you crack a smile with all
your crooked, blackened teeth,
**[05:45] Miyu**
your legs will point into the air,
and you'll fall fast asleep."
**[05:48] Mako**
What does it mean?
***SIGN*** Pon poro poro rin pon poro ri... dance around... If you crack a smile with all those crooked, blackened teeth, your legs will point into the air, and you'll fall fast... Hey yo! Into the sky you blow a kiss, worry 'bout all the things you miss. Your head is pushing its limits, hard-working like the field crickets. Gotta work, improve your role. You can't just try to run away. Over there, you see that hole? You'll fall in if you go that way. What, don't you see? Modern life is too crazy. Written all bloody, a curse in calligraphy. Ronin ronin ronin ronin. Breaking all your heart. Fly away, pigeon... Ronin ronin ronin ronin. Don't become a heart attack, catch ball on next pass. Yeah!
**[05:49] Hikari**
No clue.
**[05:55] Kana**
Take this!
**[05:56] Kana**
Super Remembering-the-Naniwa-Tiger-Striped-Lady
-Who-Gave-Me-Candy Genocide Pancetta Smash!
**[06:01] Iroha**
Yes!
**[06:02] Chitose**
At least hit it after that!
***SIGN*** This Beer
**[06:03] Saeka**
Oh? Where's Mako?
**[06:05] Mone**
She's taking a bath.
**[06:07] Hikari**
Huh? We said we'd go together. Aw...
***SIGN*** This Beer
**[06:10] Miyu**
I've re-ad it o-ver and o-ver
and it st-ill makes no-o sense.
**[06:13] Yayoi**
Wh-o put it th-ere a-nyway? We were
the on-ly ones in the ro-om, r-ight?
**[06:18] Yomogi**
Yeah, but I do-ubt anyone co-uld
navig-ate through darkness like th-at.
**[06:22] Barbra**
It's the curse.
**[06:24] Misao**
Curse?!
**[06:25] Barbra**
You all heard the piano, right?
**[06:28] Barbra**
But that should have been
impossible to hear.
**[06:32] Barbra**
The piano in that cottage has
been locked up for years.
**[06:37] Hina**
There *was* a lock on the door.
**[06:39] Yuina**
Then where did the sound come from?
**[06:41] Barbra**
The horrors have begun! Nobody will
be able to stop them now!
**[06:45] Yuzu**
Horrors?
**[06:48] Chihori**
What?
**[06:51] Yayoi**
What's wrong?
**[06:53] Hikari**
Mako is...
***SIGN*** Living Room
**[07:01] Saeka**
Mako...
**[07:02] Hikari**
She overheated in the bath.
She must've gotten really dizzy.
**[07:05] Saeka**
Why did she have to die like this?
**[07:07] Hikari**
She ain't dead.
**[07:10] Yuzu**
No good. No signal.
**[07:11] Yuina**
Same here.
**[07:13] Kana**
Chitose-senpai. Iroha-senpai.
**[07:15] Chitose**
This isn't looking good.
**[07:17] Iroha**
I went and checked the only way out of here,
***SIGN*** Wet Paint
**[07:20] Iroha**
but the bridge is wet with paint. Hot pink.
**[07:22] Chitose**
If we try to walk on it,
our shoes will turn hot pink.
**[07:25] Chitose**
That's a death sentence!
**[07:27] Kana**
Our phones have no signal.
If we leave, we die.
**[07:30] Kana**
That means...
**[07:31] Misao**
...that we're trapped here?
**[07:32] Barbra**
It's exactly what the lullaby says.
**[07:35] Barbra**
The curse is the only possible explanation.
**[07:38] Yayoi**
Barbra-san, what is that curse about anyway?
**[07:42] Barbra**
Long ago, before this place
was called Do'em Inn,
**[07:47] Barbra**
a wealthy family used to live here.
**[07:50] Barbra**
They had one son, and he
loved playing the piano.
**[07:54] Barbra**
He wanted to become a musician,
but that dream didn't come true.
**[08:00] Barbra**
In order to make him take
over the family business,
**[08:03] Barbra**
his father forced him to quit piano.
**[08:07] Barbra**
With no hope for the future,
the son took his own life.
**[08:12] Barbra**
He left behind a lullaby,
written in despair,
**[08:17] Barbra**
that has been passed down
through the generations.
**[08:20] Yuzu**
What kind of song is it?
**[08:22] Barbra**
It's faster if you just hear it.
**[08:26] Yomogi**
*Pon poro poro rin pon poro rin*
**[08:31] Yomogi**
* Make your fingers dance around,*
* and see what it might mean*
**[08:37] Yomogi**
* If you crack a smile with all*
* your crooked, blackened teeth*
**[08:43] Yomogi**
* Your legs will point into the*
* air, and you'll fall fast asleep*
**[08:50] Yomogi**
*Hey! Yo!*
**[08:52] Yomogi**
*Into the sky you blow a kiss*
**[08:53] Yomogi**
*Worry 'bout all the things you miss*
**[08:54] Yomogi**
*Your head is pushing its limits*
**[08:56] Yomogi**
*Hard-working like the field crickets*
**[08:57] Barbra**
*Gotta work, improve your role*
**[08:58] Barbra**
*You can't just try to run away*
**[09:00] Barbra**
*Over there, you see that hole?*
**[09:01] Barbra**
*You'll fall in if you go that way.*
**[09:03] Yomogi**
*What, don't you see?*
**[09:04] Yomogi**
*Modern life is too crazy*
**[09:05] Yomogi**
*Written all bloody*
**[09:07] Yomogi**
*A curse in calligraphy*
**[09:08] Yomogi & Barbra**
*Ronin ronin ronin ronin*
**[09:11] Yomogi & Barbra**
*Breaking all your heart*
**[09:13] Yomogi & Barbra**
*Fly away, pigeon coo-coo*
**[09:14] Yomogi & Barbra**
*Ronin ronin ronin ronin*
**[09:17] Yomogi & Barbra**
*Don't become a heart attack*
**[09:19] Yomogi & Barbra**
*Catch ball on next pass*
**[09:20] Yomogi & Barbra**
*Yeah!*
**[09:21] Barbra**
This is the lullaby that's been
passed down for 50 years.
**[09:24] Chitose**
There's no way that's 50 years old!
**[09:27] Barbra**
There is a saying at the inn that's
been passed down with the song.
**[09:31] Barbra**
"Someday, the tortured soul of the
piano will return with its lullaby,
**[09:37] Barbra**
and that melody will lead to a curse."
**[09:41] Yuina**
Just like the lyrics said, Mako-chan's legs
were pointing into the air.
**[09:46] Chihori**
Yeah. And she fell asleep.
**[09:48] Kana**
Wait a minute.
**[09:49] Kana**
Does that mean what happened to
Mako is gonna keep happening?
**[09:52] Misao**
What the heck? I can't believe
we've actually been cursed!
**[09:56] Barbra**
If this is the lullaby's curse, then there
is only one way to break it.
**[10:01] Yomogi**
There's a way to break it?
**[10:03] Yuzu**
Please tell us, Barbra-san!
**[10:04] Yuzu**
What do we have to do?
**[10:07] Barbra**
Laugh.
**[10:08] Barbra**
It is said that if you can fill the inn
with laughter, the curse will be lifted.
**[10:14] Chitose**
The heck is that? What does
laughing have to do with a curse?
**[10:17] Kana**
Maybe he wants to laugh because
he was so sad when he died.
**[10:20] Chitose**
That's kind of a stretch.
**[10:22] Yayoi**
But laughter is our specialty!
**[10:25] Yayoi**
And there's no other way,
so let's give it a shot!
**[10:28] Barbra**
I'll gather all the employees.
**[10:31] Barbra**
They'll be your audience. Send them
rolling on the floor with laughter!
**[10:34] Yomogi**
Let's do our thing!
**[10:38] Yomogi**
Hello!
**[10:45] Barbra**
That's not good. They've frozen up.
**[10:47] Chitose**
Of course they have! What kind
of audience is that?!
**[10:49] Barbra**
The son who killed himself
had very pale skin.
**[10:52] Barbra**
To break the curse,
**[10:54] Barbra**
you have to make the audience laugh while
they're all wearing white beauty masks.
**[10:57] Yuina**
Why are there so many conditions?
**[11:00] Misao**
There's no way we'll break the curse.
**[11:02] Miyu**
There's no curse! The culprit
is here somewhere!
***SIGN*** Suke
***SIGN*** Kaku
**[11:05] Kana**
Miyu-chan, why are you dressed like that?
**[11:07] Miyu**
I ain't Miyu. Call me
Great Detective Komon!
**[11:10] Hina**
You're so easily influenced.
**[11:12] Miyu**
Shaddap!
**[11:13] Miyu**
If we show our love for Komon-sama,
**[11:15] Miyu**
maybe someday Akudare Kingdom will be
invited on *Mito Komon Neo* as guest stars!
**[11:19] Chitose**
Oh, get real.
***SIGN*** Sigh
**[11:21] Miyu**
Anyway! I'll totally prove to
you that there's no curse!
***SIGN*** Suke
***SIGN*** Kaku
**[11:25] Miyu**
I'll solve the mystery!
**[11:27] Miyu**
In the name of Komon-sama!
***SIGN*** Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
***SIGN*** Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
**[11:36] Misao**
What are you looking for?
**[11:38] Miyu**
Evidence, obviously.
**[11:40] Hina**
Did you find something?
**[11:41] Miyu**
I found 100 yen!
**[11:42] Hina**
So what?
**[11:44] Miyu**
What else? What else?
**[11:46] Misao**
There's no culprit. It's gotta be the curse.
**[11:52] Misao**
Someone's watching again!
**[11:53] Miyu**
There ain't no curse.
**[11:56] Misao**
What is it this time?
**[11:58] Chitose**
What happened?
**[11:59] Saeka**
I wanted to get Mako some water,
but when I went outside...
**[12:06] Yuina**
Mone?!
**[12:07] Yomogi**
* Hey yo! Into the sky you blow a kiss,*
* worry 'bout all the things you miss.*
**[12:11] Yomogi**
* Your head is pushing its limits,*
* hard-working like the field crickets.*
**[12:14] Kana**
Just like the lullaby said!
**[12:17] Kana**
Again?
**[12:20] Hikari**
When I went to get Mako a snack...
**[12:25] Kana**
Iroha-senpai!
**[12:26] Chitose**
Why is she stuck like that?
**[12:27] Barbra**
* Gotta work, improve your role,*
* you can't just try to run away.*
**[12:30] Barbra**
* Over there, you see that hole?*
* You'll fall in if you go that way.*
**[12:33] Yuzu**
Is that the hole?
**[12:35] Yuina**
Look over there.
***SIGN*** Curse
**[12:37] Yomogi**
* What, don't you see?*
* Modern life is too crazy.*
***SIGN*** Curse
**[12:40] Yomogi**
*Written all bloody, a curse in calligraphy.*
**[12:43] Yomogi**
How could anyone get over
there to write that?
***SIGN*** Living Room
**[12:46] Misao**
Yeah, it's gotta be the curse.
**[12:48] Miyu**
But there's no way it's real!
So stop saying "curse"!
**[12:52] Hina**
Misao, why are you so scared of everything?
**[12:56] Misao**
There's a reason for it.
**[12:58] Misao**
It started a year ago.
**[13:03] Misao**
Back then, I always felt like
someone was watching me.
**[13:07] Misao**
Whatever I was doing...
**[13:10] Misao**
Whatever was happening...
**[13:14] Misao**
I always felt someone watching.
It was super creepy.
**[13:18] Misao**
And then one day it happened.
***SIGN*** Ushiku
**[13:22] Misao**
Something uncanny and terrifying...
**[13:27] (Flashback) Misao**
Dried sweet potatoes!
**[13:30] Hina**
That story...
**[13:31] Misao**
Can you imagine how I felt?
**[13:33] Misao**
The horror of finding my shoe locker
stuffed full of dried sweet potatoes?
**[13:37] Misao**
Now that I think about it,
maybe that was a curse, too!
**[13:40] Misao**
Ever since then, I've been a mess.
**[13:43] Misao**
Ghosts and curses and the supernatural...
I believe in them all.
**[13:47] Misao**
I'm scared out of my wits!
**[13:49] Miyu**
Misao!
**[13:50] Miyu**
How many times do I have to tell you?
**[13:52] Miyu**
There ain't no curse!
**[13:53] Miyu**
I'll find the culprit and prove it to you.
**[13:56] Miyu**
Then you won't get so freaked
out about all this malarkey.
**[13:59] Misao**
Miyu, you'd really do that for me?
**[14:02] Miyu**
You and Hina are my Suke-san and Kaku-san.
**[14:04] Miyu**
You're supposed to fight for your Komon,
but you can't do that if you're always scared.
**[14:09] Miyu**
So I'll fix whatever is bothering you.
**[14:12] Miyu**
I'll protect you from fear, just as
you protect me in battle!
**[14:15] Miyu**
Because I know that's what
Komon-sama would do!
**[14:18] Misao**
Miyu—
**[14:20] Miyu**
Misao!
**[14:21] Hina**
Wh-What happened now?
**[14:23] Miyu**
It must be a trick door.
**[14:27] Misao**
Is this a hidden room?
**[14:30] Hina**
Look. Misao?
**[14:32] Misao**
How...?
**[14:35] Miyu**
What's this?
**[14:38] Miyu**
So *that's* what's going on here.
**[14:40] Miyu**
This mystery is solved!
**[14:42] Chitose**
So...
**[14:43] Chitose**
Why'd you bring us all here?
**[14:46] Yayoi**
Did you find something out?
**[14:48] Miyu**
Yeah, I figured it all out.
**[14:50] Miyu**
I'll explain it all to you—
**[14:52] Miyu**
the truth behind the curse!
**[14:54] Kana**
There is no truth! It's just a curse!
**[14:57] Miyu**
No, it ain't.
**[14:58] Miyu**
Everything so far has just been
set up to look like a curse.
**[15:02] Miyu**
All done by a certain individual.
**[15:04] Hikari**
A certain individual, meaning...?
**[15:06] Yomogi**
You're over-dramatizing it!
**[15:07] Miyu**
That individual is here with us.
**[15:09] Yayoi**
But isn't it strange that we heard a
piano playing from the locked cottage?
**[15:14] Yayoi**
And then that the envelope appeared?
**[15:16] Yayoi**
That shouldn't be possible.
**[15:18] Miyu**
No, it's all possible. First,
take a look at this.
**[15:23] Takada**
* Once again, we're bringing you unusual*
* products you won't find anywhere else!*
***SIGN*** You Gotta Buy It
**[15:28] Miyu**
That's *Get-It-All Takada*, a local
mail-order shopping program.
**[15:32] Miyu**
They sell rare items that have
extremely specific uses.
**[15:34] Miyu**
It sounds like the show has a
ton of really serious fans.
**[15:38] Chitose**
What does that show have to do with this?
**[15:40] Takada**
* Yeah! Let's introduce*
* today's special product!*
**[15:43] Takada**
*Here it is!*
***SIGN*** Takada
***SIGN*** First 100 Customers
***SIGN*** Order Number
***SIGN*** Takaeda Piano-Playing Pole
***SIGN*** Takaeda Piano-Playing Pole
***SIGN*** Takaeda Piano-Playing Pole
***SIGN*** Takaeda Piano-Playing Pole
***SIGN*** Takaeda Piano-Playing Pole
***SIGN*** Takaeda Piano-Playing Pole
**[15:44] Takada**
*The Takaeda Piano-Playing Pole!*
**[15:46] Takada**
* For when you want to play piano,*
* but you can't get off the ceiling.*
**[15:49] Takada**
*We all know what that's like, right?*
**[15:50] Chitose**
Nobody's ever been in that situation!
**[15:52] Takada**
*This is the perfect tool for the job!*
**[15:55] Takada**
* When you have the Takaeda Piano-Playing Pole,*
* look at what you can do!*
**[15:58] Miyu**
The cottage door was definitely locked,
but none of us checked the roof.
**[16:04] Miyu**
There's probably a small
window or something.
**[16:06] Miyu**
The culprit must've been
playing the piano through that,
**[16:09] Miyu**
using this Takaeda Piano-Playing Pole!
**[16:12] Yuzu**
Then what about the letter?
**[16:13] Miyu**
For that, they used this.
**[16:15] Takada**
*Yeah! Our next product is this!*
***SIGN*** You Gotta Buy It
**[16:17] Takada**
*Sometimes, when you're eating,*
**[16:19] Takada**
* you want to make an envelope appear*
* out of nowhere, don't you?*
**[16:22] Chitose**
That never, ever happens!
**[16:23] Takada**
* This is what you need!*
* An Envelope-Appearing Table!*
***SIGN*** Takada
***SIGN*** First 100 Customers
***SIGN*** Order Number
***SIGN*** Envelope-Appearing Table
***SIGN*** Envelope-Appearing Table
***SIGN*** Envelope-Appearing Table
***SIGN*** Envelope-Appearing Table
***SIGN*** Envelope-Appearing Table
***SIGN*** Envelope-Appearing Table
***SIGN*** Envelope-Appearing Table
***SIGN*** Envelope-Appearing Table
**[16:26] Takada**
*Just push the button on the remote. Oh, yeah!*
**[16:29] Miyu**
Someone could have used this to make
the envelope appear, even in the dark.
**[16:33] Miyu**
Last is the "curse" calligraphy on the rock.
***SIGN*** Curse
**[16:36] Miyu**
A normal person would never
be able to get over there.
**[16:39] Miyu**
But there's a pond around the rock.
**[16:41] Takada**
*And our last product is this! A flyboard!*
***SIGN*** Flyboard
**[16:44] Miyu**
* The culprit hovered to the rock*
* with this to write the message.*
***SIGN*** Flyboard
**[16:48] Chitose**
That's one physically active criminal.
**[16:50] Miyu**
Those devices were kept here
in the inn's hidden room.
**[16:53] Miyu**
The culprit would have known
where that was. So...
**[16:57] Miyu**
It had to be you! Barbra!
**[17:04] Barbra**
You saw right through me.
**[17:06] Yomogi**
Are you really the culprit, Barbra-san?
**[17:08] Hikari**
Why would you do this?
**[17:10] Barbra**
Seiji asked me to.
**[17:12] Barbra**
He wanted me to put you through a test that
would make you take comedy seriously.
**[17:17] Barbra**
That's why I made up the curse and set up
a performance where you could break it.
**[17:21] Chihori**
The audience in white masks, too?
**[17:24] Yuina**
You did it to scare us and
push us to our limits.
**[17:27] Kana**
Were the curse and the lullaby
and everything all lies?
**[17:30] Barbra**
Yes, I did make up the curse.
**[17:33] Barbra**
But the lullaby is a real thing.
**[17:36] Yuzu**
What do you mean?
**[17:38] Barbra**
Fifty years ago, I lived
next door to the inn.
**[17:42] Barbra**
The inn owner's son, Toichiro
was my first love.
**[17:47] Yuzu**
The son who committed suicide?
**[17:50] Barbra**
He didn't really commit suicide.
I made up that part.
**[17:55] Barbra**
The story about him wanting to
become a musician was also a lie.
**[17:58] Barbra**
Toichiro's dream was to become
a piano-playing comedian!
**[18:01] Barbra**
His parents objected, so he ran away,
leaving behind that lullaby.
**[18:06] Barbra**
Nobody knows where he is now.
**[18:07] Barbra**
The song just seemed like the
perfect choice for your test.
**[18:11] Barbra**
Toichiro once aspired to be a comedian too.
***SIGN*** Piano Comedy
**[18:14] Barbra**
He was so much like all of you right now.
**[18:18] Barbra**
I thought it would be nice gesture
to use that song in his memory.
**[18:20] Saeka**
Please wait a minute!
**[18:22] Saeka**
Does that mean you attacked
Mako and the others as a test?
**[18:25] Barbra**
I had nothing to do with that.
**[18:27] Saeka**
Huh? What are you saying?
**[18:29] Barbra**
I did try to scare you, but I had
no intention of harming you.
**[18:33] Barbra**
Attacking strangers would be a bit too
much for an old mail-order fan like me.
**[18:38] Saeka**
Then who...?
**[18:40] Misao**
Someone's watching! Who's there?!
**[18:43] Misao**
I won't let you get away this time!
**[18:45] Misao**
Take this! A famous Mito natto bomb!
**[18:48] Takada**
Argh, aaah, blegh, ew!
**[18:51] Misao**
It's you!
**[18:52] Takada**
Ugh, it's so sticky and slimy!
**[18:54] Misao**
It's the guy from the shopping program!
**[18:57] Hikari**
Mako! Are you feeling better?
**[18:59] Mako**
It's him! It was his fault!
**[19:07] (Flashback) Takada**
Ouch! Something bit me.
**[19:15] (Flashback) Mone**
Hm?
**[19:16] (Flashback) Mone**
Huh?
**[19:19] (Flashback) Mone**
Ah! Okay...
**[19:26] (Flashback) Iroha**
Who's there?
**[19:27] Takada**
Oof! Oof!
**[19:28] (Flashback) Iroha**
Oh, shoot!
**[19:33] Yuina**
You were creeping around
the inn to peep at Misao-chan?
***SIGN*** Slurp
***SIGN*** Slurp
**[19:37] Misao**
We'll make you talk. Why were you doing it?
**[19:39] Takada**
Well...
**[19:41] Takada**
I caught a glimpse of you
when you got off the train.
**[19:44] Miyu**
Why are you so infatuated with Misao?
**[19:47] Takada**
She looks just like her.
Like my first love, Kikuyo-san.
**[19:51] Takada**
I couldn't help but follow you.
**[19:53] Takada**
When you arrived here, it felt like fate.
**[19:57] Takada**
What a coincidence that you
would come to my old home!
**[20:00] Yomogi**
Wh-What did you just say?
**[20:02] Yomogi**
This inn is your old home?
**[20:04] Takada**
Yes. My parents wouldn't
let me chase my dreams,
**[20:08] Takada**
so I ran away and didn't
come back for 50 years.
**[20:11] Takada**
I couldn't build up the courage to
come inside, so I kept watching from afar.
**[20:16] Yuzu**
So that piano was yours?
**[20:18] Miyu**
And your first love was...?!
**[20:19] Barbra**
Toichiro-san, is that you?
**[20:23] Takada**
I don't believe it!
**[20:26] Takada**
Kikuyo-san?
**[20:28] Young Barbra**
Do you really remember me?
**[20:31] Young Takada**
How could I forget my one true love?
**[20:34] Young Barbra**
Koichiro-san!
**[20:35] Young Takada**
Kikuyo-san!
**[20:43] Miyu**
See? I told you there was no curse.
**[20:45] Misao**
This time, at least.
**[20:46] Misao**
But what about those dried sweet potatoes?
**[20:49] Hina**
We solved that one, too.
**[20:51] Misao**
Huh?
**[20:52] Hina**
Misao used to be really popular
with the girls at school.
**[20:55] Hina**
Some of them even called her a prince.
**[20:58] Hina**
But she's a little intimidating
and hard to talk to,
**[21:00] Hina**
so everyone admired her from a distance.
**[21:04] Hina**
In the halls, in the gym, in the cafeteria.
**[21:07] Misao**
That's why I felt like I was being watched!
**[21:09] Hina**
Since we were friends, the other girls
asked me what kind of food you liked.
**[21:14] Hina**
I told them you liked dried sweet potatoes.
**[21:16] Miyu**
They asked me about you, too.
**[21:17] Miyu**
They said, "I bought Misao a present,
but I'm not brave enough to give it to her."
**[21:21] Miyu**
So I told 'em what to do! I said to
just stuff it in your shoe locker.
**[21:25] Misao**
It was all your fault? Oh, jeez...
**[21:28] All three**
Thank you very much!
**[21:33] Kana**
That turned out pretty fun,
in a thrilling kind of way!
**[21:36] Chitose**
Yeah.
**[21:37] Misao**
And there was no real curse,
so case closed, I guess.
**[21:40] Yuzu**
Don't be so sure yet.
**[21:42] Misao**
Huh?
**[21:43] Yuzu**
Sometimes words have power.
**[21:45] Yuzu**
Even if something is a lie, once you put
it into words, it might become reality.
**[21:48] Misao**
Oh, come on, quit trying to scare me.
**[21:51] Yomogi & Barbra**
*Rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling*
**[21:54] Yomogi & Barbra**
*Make it come apart*
**[21:55] Yomogi & Barbra**
*Fly away,*
**[21:56] Yomogi & Barbra**
*pigeon coo-coo*
**[21:57] Yomogi & Barbra**
*Rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling*
**[22:00] Yomogi & Barbra**
*Tumble hard into face plant,*
**[22:02] Yomogi & Barbra**
*don't fall on your ass*
**[22:03] Barbra & Takada**
*Yeah!*
**[22:04] [SONG] Lead**
Go! We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
**[22:09] [SONG] back**
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
**[22:16] [SONG] lead**
Hi! Hi! Hello! Let's get
on with the show today.
**[22:19] [SONG] lead**
We've just got four minutes, but we
hope you hear everything that we say.
**[22:22] [SONG] back**
Hey there cutie, hey there cutie,
didn't even miss a beat there, cutie.
**[22:24] [SONG] lead**
We hope you enjoy the show today.
**[22:27] [SONG] lead**
Here at home with you, in your living room,
we'll put a twinkle into your eyes.
**[22:33] [SONG] lead**
We've all dreamed to see if we could be
on a stage so free. Now it's a reality!
**[22:42] [SONG] lead**
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
**[22:45] [SONG] lead**
It's all good when we're laughing together.
**[22:48] [SONG] lead**
If we bomb, slip, even if we cry,
so what! That's still part of our destiny.
**[22:53] [SONG] lead**
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
**[22:56] [SONG] lead**
We'll hit it big if we
keep laughing together.
**[22:59] [SONG] lead**
We never knew that life
could ever be like this,
**[23:02] [SONG] lead**
and now that we're going, you know
there's no way we'll ever stop!
**[23:05] [SONG] lead**
We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
**[23:09] [SONG] back**
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
**[23:10] [SONG] lead**
All of our searching, all of our
training is fading out into the past.
**[23:16] [SONG] lead**
But to us now, those memories
will always be so precious.
**[23:22] [SONG] lead**
All of the tears, all of the pain,
rewriting life with our own words.
**[23:27] [SONG] lead**
We want to laugh it all away with you,
right up to the end. And that's a wrap!
***SIGN*** The Adult Meat Chapter
# E8 - The Adult Meat Chapter
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/G2XU0WXEP/the-adult-meat-chapter)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** The Nonfictions
***SIGN*** The Girls Who Devoted Their Lives to Comedy
**[00:01] Narrator**
* A group of girls have devoted the*
* shining days of their youth to comedy*
***SIGN*** The Nonfictions
**[00:06] Narrator**
*for the Teppen Grand Prix.*
**[00:08] Narrator**
* They spend their days pushing*
* each other to reach for the top.*
**[00:13] Narrator**
* Takahashi Yomogi-san's home*
* is a takoyaki restaurant.*
**[00:17] Narrator**
* Times are tough, and the shop is on*
* the verge of going out of business.*
**[00:22] Narrator**
* Hoping to pull it back from the brink, she is*
* betting everything on the Teppen Grand Prix.*
**[00:26] Narrator**
* When asked what she would do if another*
* member held her back, she answered coolly.*
**[00:33] Yomogi**
If I can't use them, I gotta throw them out.
***SIGN*** Takako-so Live Skit Show!!!
**[00:36] Narrator**
* Next weekend, the girls have decided*
* to put on a live skit show.*
**[00:40] Narrator**
* It will be a kind of prelude*
* to the Grand Prix.*
**[00:43] Narrator**
*They're stepping up their rehearsals.*
**[00:46] Narrator**
* One member, Sakamoto Yayoi-san,*
* is shaking with stress.*
**[00:50] Narrator**
*But who could blame her?*
**[00:52] Narrator**
* For girls with so little stage experience,*
* this is a once-in-a-lifetime event.*
***SIGN*** Takako-so Live Skit Show
**[00:59] Narrator**
* On the day of the show,*
* backstage became a battleground.*
**[01:04] Narrator**
* The problems were endless,*
* one after the next.*
**[01:08] Narrator**
*Their first live skit show was a disaster.*
**[01:12] Narration**
* When it was over, we asked*
* the girls this question:*
***SIGN*** Takako-so Live Skit Show
***SIGN*** Do you like comedy?
***SIGN*** D
O
Y
O
U
L
I
K
E
C
O
M
E
D
Y
?
**[01:18] Mako**
Of course I like it.
**[01:19] Misao**
Yeah, I like it, too.
**[01:21] Kana**
Definitely!
**[01:22] Mone**
You could even say I love it.
**[01:25] Chihori**
Even if I have to sacrifice
something else for it.
**[01:27] Yayoi**
Yeah! I love it!
**[01:29] Narrator**
*Their youth has only just begun.*
**[01:41] Yuzu**
What was *that*?
**[01:44] [SONG] all**
Yeah!
**[01:44] [SONG] Yomogi**
So, what's comedy?
**[01:45] [SONG] Yayoi**
Yo!
**[01:46] [SONG] Yuzu**
Tough question, for me
**[01:47] [SONG] Yayoi**
What could it be?
It's too far out to see!
**[01:48] [SONG] Yuzu & Yomogi**
Be! See!
**[01:49] [SONG] Yomogi**
Boke and tsukkomi, in the zone
**[01:49] [SONG] Yayoi**
Ye ye, in the zone!
**[01:51] [SONG] Yuzu**
We got god-tier jokes on the horizon
**[01:51] [SONG] Yayoi & Yomogi**
God! Horizon!
**[01:53] [SONG] Kana**
Wanna see us split into bunshin
**[01:53] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Yeah!
**[01:54] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Bullets!
**[01:54] [SONG] Kana**
And hear gags flying at you like bullets?
**[01:56] [SONG] Kana**
Leave it to comedy ninjas!
**[01:57] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Nin-nin!
**[01:57] [SONG] Saeka**
High society, celebrity
**[01:57] [SONG] Hikari & Mako**
High! Celebrity!
**[01:59] [SONG] Saeka**
The cleanest jokes are our priority
**[02:00] [SONG] Hikari & Mako**
Priority!
**[02:02] [SONG] Miyu**
Yeah, Akudare, making you all laugh
**[02:02] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Yeah!
**[02:03] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Ah! Ah!
**[02:04] [SONG] Miyu**
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back
**[02:04] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back!
**[02:06] [SONG] Yuina**
We. Are. The. Invaders. Yo.
**[02:07] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
Ah Invaders
**[02:08] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
That should tell you all you need to know
**[02:09] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
Need to know!
**[02:10] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Yeah!
**[02:10] [SONG] Yuzu**
Shake it up, Wai-Wai!
**[02:10] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Wai-Wai!
**[02:11] [SONG] Yomogi**
Heat up the timeline!
**[02:11] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Timeline!
**[02:12] [SONG] Yayoi**
Scramble for the win,
we won't give up our pride
**[02:14] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Pride!
**[02:15] [SONG] Yomogi**
Found a new line
**[02:15] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Oh!
**[02:15] [SONG] Yuzu**
Gonna sweep the prime time
**[02:16] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Oh!
**[02:16] [SONG] Yayoi**
Who's on top then?
**[02:18] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Gotta take the Teppen!
**[02:18] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina**
Take it to the top
**[02:20] [SONG] all call**
Doin' it for real!
**[02:21] [SONG] Kana; Saeka**
We'll show you, giving everything
we got, oh yeah
**[02:22] [SONG] all call**
Oh yeah
**[02:23] [SONG] Miyu; Yuina**
Gonna face the challenge head-on
**[02:23] [SONG] all call**
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
**[02:25] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina**
Running straight ahead
**[02:25] [SONG] all call**
Yo! Yo! Yo!
**[02:27] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai**
Take it to the top
**[02:27] [SONG] all call**
Yeah that's right!
**[02:29] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai**
It's show
**[02:30] [SONG] Yomogi**
Don't slow down to hear them
call you funny, not a day
**[02:32] [SONG] Yuzu**
You'll never reach the top that way
**[02:32] [SONG] all call**
Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh yeah!
**[02:34] [SONG] Yayoi**
You know it's true, what we say
**[02:36] [SONG] all call**
Hey!
**[02:37] [SONG] all sing**
But this isn't about us just getting a laugh
**[02:40] [SONG] all call**
Yeah! Yeah!
**[02:43] [SONG] all sing**
That's not why we're here
It's much bigger, bigger than all that
**[02:46] [SONG] all call**
All that
**[02:47] [SONG] all sing**
We want to get
**[02:47] [SONG] all call**
We want to get, yeah!
**[02:50] [SONG] all sing**
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
**[02:50] [SONG] all call**
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
**[02:55] [SONG] all sing**
Yeah if we are the ones
that are making you laugh
**[02:55] [SONG] all call**
Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye!
**[03:00] [SONG] all sing**
We gotta go so hard it'll really,
really give us that, you know?
**[03:04] [SONG] all sing**
Top of the laugh
**[03:04] [SONG] all call**
Top of the laugh Ye~ah!
**[03:07] [SONG] all sing**
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way.
We're gonna make it to the top one day!
**[03:07] [SONG] all call**
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way,
oh! We're gonna make it to the top one day!
**[03:12] [SONG] Yayoi**
Aw yeah!
**[03:14] Yuzu**
What was *that*?
***SIGN*** The Adult Meat Chapter
**[03:20] All**
A documentary program?
**[03:22] Seiji**
Yeah. For a week starting tomorrow,
we'll have a camera following us.
**[03:28] Yomogi**
He's already here!
**[03:29] Yuzu**
Isn't this all just a little too sudden?
**[03:31] Seiji**
The program made an offer to the
Teppen Grand Prix Committee.
**[03:35] Seiji**
I responded and asked them to
please cover us in detail.
**[03:39] Yayoi**
Why?
**[03:40] Seiji**
How much do you think it cost to repair
Takako-so after you reduced it to ruins?
**[03:45] Seiji**
You'd better make yourself useful!
**[03:47] Yuzu**
There's nothing we can say to that.
**[03:50] Misao**
You want to show us as we
are and won't interfere?
**[03:55] Hina**
You aren't going to tell us to do things?
**[03:58] Hina**
But isn't that what TV is like?
**[04:00] Mako**
Yeah, yeah.
**[04:02] Chitose**
So you're saying you want to
record us acting naturally?
**[04:07] Hikari**
Why isn't he talking, though?
**[04:12] Seiji**
Yeah, that's it! Give those quads some love!
**[04:15] Seiji**
Pump up! Pump up!
**[04:17] Seiji**
Come on, get with it! Did you
forget we're being filmed?
**[04:21] Chihori**
But he told us to act normally.
**[04:23] Mako**
I'd like to take all this more seriously,
but I guess we gotta act normal.
**[04:29] Seiji**
Well, if that's how you're
gonna be, then I have my own idea.
**[04:32] Seiji**
Eat this!
**[04:34] Mako & Chihori**
So spicy!
**[04:38] Seiji**
I thought this might happen, so I loaded up
with super-spicy rounds to punish you.
**[04:43] Seiji**
If you screw around,
I'll stuff you full of them!
**[04:46] All**
Eek!
**[04:47] All**
Macho! Macho! Macho! Macho!
**[04:50] Seiji**
Doesn't it feel great
to break a fresh sweat?
**[04:53] Chitose**
No part of this is great!
**[04:56] Yomogi**
I'm so worn out.
**[04:58] Yuzu**
Seiji-san got really fired up.
**[05:01] Yayoi**
Yeah.
**[05:02] Yayoi**
Oh?
**[05:06] Yayoi**
Is this for a concert or something?
**[05:08] Worker**
What?! But we've already built it!
**[05:11] Worker**
Please, you can't be serious!
**[05:12] Yuzu**
Did something happen?
**[05:15] Worker**
Three days from now, a cable idol group
was supposed to have a concert here.
***SIGN*** LAN-neechan
***SIGN*** USBmi
***SIGN*** HDMIko
***SIGN*** The Cables
**[05:20] Yomogi**
A *cable* idol group?
***SIGN*** LAN-neechan
***SIGN*** LAN-neechan
***SIGN*** USBmi
**[05:21] Worker**
But they all got caught in relationships.
***SIGN*** The Cables Hook Up
**[05:24] Worker**
They were dating boys from a PC idol group.
**[05:27] Yomogi**
Sounds like they were compatible.
**[05:29] Worker**
Now the concert's been canceled, after we
went through the trouble of building a stage.
**[05:34] Yuzu**
A-ha! In that case...!
**[05:36] Yayoi & Yomogi**
Huh?
**[05:38] Yayoi**
Ta-dah!
***SIGN*** Takako-so Live Skit Show!!!
**[05:40] Iroha**
"Takako-so Live Skit Show"?
**[05:42] Yayoi**
Yeah! Do you want to invite our neighbors
and do a live show in three days?
**[05:47] Yuzu**
There are so many of us
aspiring comedians here.
**[05:50] Yuzu**
Wouldn't it be fun to
do a skit all together?
**[05:53] Kana**
That's a great idea!
**[05:55] Chitose**
A group skit! Yeah.
It'll be good practice, too!
**[05:58] Yayoi**
Let's do it, then! It's settled!
**[06:00] Yayoi**
Let's start rehearsing!
**[06:02] Misao**
Rehearse when we don't
even know what we're doing?
**[06:05] Misao**
We need a script first.
**[06:07] Yuzu**
We already have one.
**[06:08] Miyu**
So quick!
**[06:09] Yuzu**
I'm always jotting down ideas.
**[06:11] Yuzu**
I took one of them and
fleshed it out a little.
**[06:14] Yuzu**
I still haven't decided much
outside of the main plot, though.
**[06:17] Yuina**
It's based on Cinderella.
**[06:19] Hikari**
Funny rewrites of fairy tales
always work great for skits.
**[06:23] Yayoi**
How do we pick the roles?
**[06:25] Yomogi**
Well, I guess we could let people pick first
and then draw straws for any that overlap.
**[06:29] Yuzu**
Have any of you chosen a role?
**[06:31] Miyu**
Me!
**[06:31] Miyu**
You know the role I'm gonna play...
**[06:34] Miyu**
The role of Komon-sama!
**[06:36] Yuzu**
He's not in this.
**[06:37] Miyu**
Doesn't matter!
**[06:38] Miyu**
Just write a new character into the skit!
**[06:41] Miyu**
I'll be Komon-sama. Misao and Hina
will be Suke-san and Kaku-san.
**[06:44] Miyu**
And Kana'll be our Pinwheel Yahachi.
**[06:46] Kana**
Me too?
**[06:47] Miyu**
Don't try to hide it!
**[06:48] Miyu**
I know you secretly want to
join Akudare to be Yahachi.
**[06:51] Miyu**
The pinwheel you're always
wearing is the proof!
**[06:54] Kana**
I-I never even realized!
**[06:57] Kana**
I had the blood of Akudare... of Ibaraki
running through my veins!
**[07:02] Kana**
Could it be I'm a member of a warrior race
sent from Ibaraki to destroy all of Kansai?
**[07:08] Hina**
Not everybody from Ibaraki
is part of a warrior race.
**[07:10] Hina**
That's just Misao.
**[07:12] Misao**
I ain't one, either!
**[07:13] Yayoi**
Does anyone else have a
role they want to play?
**[07:16] Mone**
I guess I'll be part of the space police.
**[07:18] Yuzu**
That's not in this!
**[07:19] Mako**
I want to be an IT company president!
**[07:20] Yuzu**
You can't!
**[07:21] Saeka**
There's no IT company to have
a president in Cinderella.
**[07:23] Saeka**
You could at least be the day trader
living in the chateau's attic.
**[07:27] Yuzu**
Weirdos aren't allowed to live there!
**[07:32] Yuzu**
Here are the roles, then.
***SIGN*** ○ Cinderella
***SIGN*** Yayoi
***SIGN*** ○ Prince
***SIGN*** Yomogi
***SIGN*** ○ Fairy Godmother
***SIGN*** Yuzu
***SIGN*** ○ Stepmother
***SIGN*** Saeka
***SIGN*** ○ Fairy Godmother's Helpers
***SIGN*** Mako, Miyu, Mone
**[07:34] Chitose**
Hold it!
**[07:35] Yuzu**
What's wrong?
**[07:36] Chitose**
What the heck is this "trashy
Kansai folks" stuff?!
***SIGN*** ○ Other Extra
***SIGN*** ○ Other Etcetera
***SIGN*** ○ Trashy Kansai Folks at the Ball
***SIGN*** Kana, Chitose, Iroha
***SIGN*** ○ Other
**[07:39] Yayoi**
Ooh! You're really getting
into the role, Chitose-chan!
**[07:42] Chitose**
I ain't acting yet!
**[07:43] Mako**
The fairy godmother's helpers, huh?
**[07:45] Miyu**
I'd rather be Komon-sama,
but I guess this is okay.
**[07:48] Yuzu**
First, the scene where you bully
Cinderella to the breaking point.
**[07:51] Saeka**
I'm not sure that I'll be able
to say such mean things.
***SIGN*** Wicked Stepmother Role
**[07:54] Mako**
Go for it, Saeka!
**[07:56] Yuzu**
Okay, start!
**[07:57] Yayoi**
Stepmother...
**[07:59] Yayoi**
Eek!
**[07:59] Saeka**
You deserve no more than a maggot's
scraps stewed in sewage.
**[08:04] Saeka**
I'll tear your revolting body apart, piece
by piece, and feed you to the rats!
**[08:09] Yayoi**
Eek!
**[08:12] Saeka**
What did you think?
**[08:16] Yuzu**
I-It was really good, but you sounded
more murderous than wicked.
**[08:22] Yuzu**
Do you think you can lighten it up a little?
**[08:24] Saeka**
I'm sorry! This is so out
of character for me.
**[08:27] Saeka**
Please let me try again.
**[08:29] Yuzu**
Okay, start!
**[08:30] Yayoi**
S-Stepmother...
**[08:34] Saeka**
Don't you dare push your luck
with me, you little *****.
**[08:36] Saeka**
You made a mistake leaving
the ******** you came from.
**[08:39] Saeka**
You'll wish you'd swam up a *****-filled
****** and crawled back up some ******'s ***.
**[08:47] Saeka**
Was that better?
**[08:51] Hikari**
Saeka's hobby is watching movies.
**[08:54] Chitose**
She must be into some real dark stuff.
***SIGN*** Fairy Godmother's Helper A
**[08:56] Mako**
Cinderella's outfit has got
to have a tea leaf pattern.
**[09:00] Miyu**
You can't decide that yourself!
It's gotta be a clam design!
***SIGN*** Fairy Godmother's Helper B
**[09:03] Mone**
No! Tentacles, like from a Martian!
***SIGN*** Fairy Godmother's Helper C
**[09:06] Miyu**
Clam design! Clam design!
**[09:06] Mako**
Tea leaves would be way cuter!
**[09:06] Mone**
A space design is the best!
**[09:09] Yuzu**
This is the scene where they fight over
how to dress Cinderella for the ball...
**[09:14] Yomogi**
But it needs more impact.
**[09:16] Misao**
Fine, then.
**[09:17] Misao**
I'll coach the actors!
**[09:20] Mako**
I'll be the one to decide
Cinderella's outfit!
**[09:25] Miyu**
No, I will!
**[09:29] Mone**
Is that so? I'll settle this.
**[09:36] Yomogi**
They're getting pretty physical
for a fairy's helpers.
**[09:39] Yuzu**
It does have more impact...
**[09:41] Yuzu**
But this isn't the right kind.
**[09:46] Yomogi**
* Our manager usually takes care of meals*
* for us, but sometimes I help out, too.*
**[09:52] Yomogi**
* Oh, this? I'm cutting off*
* the parts you can't eat.*
**[09:56] Yomogi**
*If I can't use them, I gotta throw them out.*
**[09:59] Yayoi**
It looks great!
**[10:00] Yayoi**
Did you clean the fish
yourself, Yomogi? Thanks!
**[10:03] Kana**
Yo! Way to commit piscicide!
**[10:05] Yomogi**
Don't say it like that!
**[10:06] Iroha**
Fish is full of DHA. I want to eat it
more because it lowers LDL cholesterol.
**[10:12] Chitose**
Could you hold off on the fitness
talk while we're eating?
**[10:16] Chitose**
I feel like I'm being sprinkled with guilt.
**[10:18] Miyu**
Yeah, like when you're eating yakisoba
and you see someone in dreads,
**[10:21] Miyu**
and you want to sprinkle
dried seaweed on them?
**[10:23] Chitose**
That's different.
**[10:24] Saeka**
* Yes, that's true. I also*
* love fish. And meat? Well...*
**[10:29] Mako**
*Of course I like it!*
**[10:31] Misao**
*Yeah, I like it, too.*
**[10:32] Kana**
*Definitely!*
**[10:34] Mone**
*You could even say I love it.*
**[10:36] Chihori**
* I love eating it. Even if I have to*
* sacrifice something else for it.*
**[10:39] Yuina**
*You sound a little too ready to.*
**[10:42] Seiji**
All right, all right.
Stop talking and eat up.
**[10:46] Seiji**
We get started on the show early tomorrow!
**[10:48] All**
Okay!
***SIGN*** Takako-so Live Skit Show!!!
***SIGN*** Takako-so Live Skit Show!!!
**[11:17] Miyu**
What?!
**[11:19] Miyu**
The costumes aren't here yet?!
**[11:21] Misao**
There was a traffic jam,
and the truck is late.
**[11:25] Yuzu**
It made it! The truck just arrived.
**[11:27] Miyu**
All right!
**[11:28] Chitose**
It barely made it!
**[11:30] Hikari**
These are the costumes for Cinderella?
**[11:32] Yuzu**
It looks like they messed up and sent us
a superhero stage show's costumes instead.
**[11:36] Yomogi**
How could they mix those up?!
**[11:37] Mone**
We can't do Cinderella in these.
**[11:41] Yayoi**
Let's do it!
**[11:43] Yuzu**
Yayoi?
**[11:44] Yayoi**
Let's do Cinderella in these costumes!
**[11:46] Yayoi**
I know we can pull it off!
**[11:48] Misao**
Only 10 minutes until curtain,
with a full house.
**[11:51] Yayoi**
Let's give it a shot! If we cancel,
the guests will all be disappointed.
**[11:55] Yuina**
But these costumes are totally wrong!
**[11:58] Yayoi**
So let's turn that into a joke!
**[12:00] Yomogi**
Yeah. Let's take advantage of this
accident to make the audience laugh!
**[12:04] Yomogi**
I know we're up to it!
**[12:06] Yomogi**
Right, Yuzu?
**[12:07] Yuzu**
All right. I'll adjust the script.
**[12:10] Chitose**
Right now? But that's impossible!
**[12:12] Yuzu**
I'll do it *because* it's impossible.
**[12:14] Yuzu**
A trapped flower always blossoms.
**[12:16] Yuzu**
That's what comedy is!
**[12:20] Kana**
Yeah, you're right. Let's do it!
**[12:21] Saeka**
That is true.
**[12:23] Miyu**
Let's do this!
**[12:24] Chitose**
We've gotta try!
**[12:25] Mako**
Let's do it!
**[12:25] Iroha**
Let's do it!
**[12:28] Yayoi**
All right then, all together!
**[12:30] Yayoi**
Let's give it a shot!
**[12:31] All**
Yeah!
***SIGN*** Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
***SIGN*** Takako-so Live Skit Show
**[12:37] Hina**
* Thank you for waiting. We will now*
* begin the Takako-so Live Skit Show.*
**[12:43] Hina**
*Please enjoy it to the end.*
**[12:45] Hina**
* A long, long time ago, there was a*
* pure-hearted girl named Cinderella.*
**[12:50] Yayoi**
Phew. Another day of cleaning.
**[12:54] Hina**
*Cinderella was a spider monster.*
**[12:56] Yayoi**
How'd these spider webs get here?
**[12:58] Yayoi**
Who did it?
**[12:59] Yayoi**
Oh. Me! Ha ha ha!
**[13:02] Hina**
*Cinderella had three mean older sisters.*
**[13:06] Hina**
* The oldest was a*
* praying mantis monster.*
**[13:08] Saeka**
Oh my, Cinderella. Haven't you
finished cleaning yet?
**[13:12] Hina**
*The second was a turtle monster.*
**[13:14] Hikari**
You sure are slow, huh?
**[13:19] Hina**
And the third was a lady from Kansai.
**[13:21] Chitose**
Yer pissin' me off!
**[13:23] Yayoi**
I am sorry, my sisters.
**[13:25] Yayoi**
The chateau is filled with spider webs,
and it is taking a long time to clean.
**[13:31] Saeka**
I don't want to hear your excuses.
**[13:32] Chitose**
Yer pissin' me off!
**[13:34] Hikari**
You're almost as slow as a turtle.
**[13:37] Chitose**
Yer pissin' me off!
**[13:40] Kana**
I'm done!
***SIGN*** Happily Ever After
**[13:41] Kana**
You think this'll work?
**[13:44] Yuzu**
Yeah. Now we put it in the confetti
ball and break it open at the end.
**[13:47] Yuina**
Isn't that a little forced, though?
**[13:49] Kana**
Oh, I'm sure it'll work out.
**[13:51] Miyu**
What the heck?!
**[13:53] Miyu**
Where did our parts go?
**[13:56] Mako**
Where are the godmother's helpers?
**[13:57] Yuzu**
I'm so sorry. With all the script
adjustments, there just wasn't time...
**[14:01] Mone**
Don't take away my role! I wanna act, too!
**[14:03] Miyu & Mako**
Me too! Me too!
**[14:05] Hina**
* The three mean sisters*
* left Cinderella behind,*
**[14:07] Yuzu**
Oh, no! I'm up!
**[14:08] Hina**
*and went to the ball at the castle.*
**[14:08] Yuzu**
I'm really sorry!
**[14:10] All three**
Hey!
**[14:11] All three**
Hmph!
**[14:14] Mako**
If that's how it is...
**[14:16] Hina**
*Cinderella was left all alone.*
**[14:19] Hina**
* Even though she wanted to*
* dance with the prince, too.*
**[14:24] Yayoi**
Who are you?
**[14:26] Yuzu**
My name is Professor Yuzu.
**[14:28] Yuzu**
Spider Monster, do you want power?
**[14:31] Yayoi**
No, I want to go to the ball!
**[14:34] Yuzu**
Then I shall give you power. There!
**[14:36] Yayoi**
Oh, gee!
**[14:38] Yuina**
Nope, the music isn't playing.
I wonder if the speakers are broken.
**[14:43] Misao**
It's gonna be real dull without music.
**[14:45] Iroha**
If we at least had something
for the climax...
**[14:47] Misao**
Okay, then. We'll go looking.
**[14:49] Iroha**
We just need *some* kind
of instruments, right?
**[14:53] Yuina**
Huh? Hey, wait!
**[14:55] Yuina**
This really isn't gonna work!
**[14:58] Hina**
And then, right as the ball was beginning...
**[15:02] Yomogi**
I am the prince. I have a feeling I will
have a fateful encounter at tonight's ball.
**[15:08] Saeka**
Oh, you're so handsome, Prince Red.
**[15:11] Saeka**
I wonder if you might dance with me.
**[15:13] Chitose**
Yer pissin' me off!
**[15:16] Saeka**
Could that possibly be...
**[15:18] Saeka; Chitose**
Cinderella!
**[15:18] Hikari**
Cinderella...
**[15:20] Yomogi**
How beautiful!
**[15:22] Yayoi**
Oh, Prince!
**[15:23] Yomogi**
I am Prince Red. May I ask
you to dance with me?
**[15:28] Yayoi**
Yes, with pleasure!
**[15:35] Yuzu**
Mm-hmm. Good scene.
If we can keep this up...
**[15:38] Chihori**
Hey, do we have glass slippers?
**[15:40] Yuzu & Yuina**
Oh!
**[15:41] Yuzu**
Wh-Wh-What do we do?
**[15:46] Yayoi**
I have to go.
**[15:48] Yomogi**
Wait! At least tell me your name.
**[15:52] Yayoi**
I'm sorry!
**[15:57] Yomogi**
This must give me a hint as to who she is.
**[16:00] Yuzu**
*That's* what you went with?
**[16:01] Yuzu**
I've never heard of a Cinderella who
leaves a spider leg at the ball!
**[16:05] Yuina**
But it's all I had!
**[16:07] Chihori**
I've never heard of a spider
monster Cinderella to begin with.
**[16:12] Mako**
We have taken over the ball!
**[16:15] Miyu**
Be smart, and follow our orders!
**[16:17] Mone**
Or we'll shoot you with laser beams!
**[16:19] Yuzu**
What are they doing?!
**[16:20] Yomogi**
Who do you think you are?! I mean,
there's no scene like this in the script!
**[16:24] Mako**
Shut up!
**[16:26] Mako**
We don't care about the script.
**[16:27] Mako**
We wanted parts, too!
**[16:29] Mone**
Yeah! Yeah!
**[16:31] Miyu**
From here on, it's an evil fairy tale!
**[16:33] Miyu**
We're the rulers of this land now!
**[16:36] Yuzu**
This is a total mess!
**[16:37] Yuina**
Wh-What should we do?
**[16:41] Iroha**
That sound...
**[16:43] Misao**
Oh!
**[16:49] Mako**
Prince, here I come!
**[16:54] Yomogi**
K-Kansai lady!
**[16:57] Chitose**
Don't lay a hand on my sister's man!
Yer pissin' me off!
**[17:03] Chitose**
Croak...
**[17:04] All four**
Oh!
**[17:05] Hikari**
Wide open!
**[17:10] Saeka**
If you lay a hand on my little sister's
boyfriend, this praying mantis monster...
**[17:14] Hikari**
...and this turtle monster...
**[17:15] Saeka & Hikari**
...will never forgive you!
**[17:15] Saeka & Hikari**
...will never forgive you!
**[17:17] Mako**
What is this?
**[17:18] Saeka**
It's for ignoring the script
and starting trouble!
**[17:20] Mako**
With a joint loc—
**[17:22] Mako**
Ow! I give up!
**[17:23] Yayoi**
Oh? What's going to happen next?
**[17:25] Hikari**
We've got to bring it back somehow,
so the story doesn't fall apart!
**[17:29] Saeka**
We have to bring it to a happy ending.
**[17:31] Hikari & Saeka**
But we don't have a plan!
**[17:33] Mako**
Ouch! Ouch!
**[17:35] Yuzu**
I bet everyone on stage is improvising.
**[17:37] Yuzu**
What should we do?
**[17:38] Yuina**
I love these wild plot twists so much.
**[17:40] Yuzu**
Yuina-chan?
**[17:42] Yuina**
I gotta... I gotta...
**[17:44] Yuina**
I'm on fire, y'all!
**[17:46] Yuzu; Yayoi; Chihori**
Huh?!
**[17:48] Yuina**
Cosmos Power!
**[17:54] Yuina**
Don't you see what's happening?
**[17:56] Yuina**
Your sisters are fighting for your sake!
**[18:00] Yuina**
Are you too scared to come out?
**[18:01] Yuina**
Are you scared the prince
will find out who you are?
**[18:04] Yuina**
None of that matters one bit!
**[18:06] Yuina**
You are who you are!
**[18:08] Saeka**
I've never seen this side of her.
**[18:09] Mone**
Yuina gets like this sometimes.
**[18:12] Mako**
She does, huh?
**[18:15] Yomogi**
Yayo—I mean, it's you!
**[18:18] Yomogi**
Thank you, my sisters. I...
**[18:21] Yomogi**
I'm glad I was born as a monster!
**[18:25] Yayoi**
Take this! Cinderella Spider Cannon!
**[18:31] Yuina**
Here, use this.
**[18:35] Yomogi**
A perfect fit! It's you, from the ball!
**[18:39] Yayoi**
I'm Cinderella. As you can see,
I'm a spider monster.
**[18:43] Yomogi**
That doesn't matter! Marry me now!
**[18:47] Yayoi**
Even... as a spider monster?
**[18:51] Yomogi**
Even... as a spider monster.
**[18:58] Yayoi**
Prince Red!
**[19:00] Yomogi**
Spider Monster!
**[19:08] Hina**
And the two lovers lived happily ever after.
**[19:18] Hina**
And the two lovers lived happily ever after...
**[19:24] Kana**
Huh?
**[19:29] Yayoi**
Huh?
**[19:31] Chihori**
The confetti ball...
**[19:32] Yuzu**
It isn't opening!
**[19:39] Kana**
In that case...
**[19:44] Kana**
Jump!
**[19:46] Kana**
Ooh... Whoa!
**[19:55] Yayoi & Yomogi**
Aah!
**[20:07] Yayoi & Yomogi**
Ouch!
***SIGN*** Happily Ever After
***SIGN*** Unedited Footage
**[20:24] Mako**
The video they gave us is totally
different from what they aired!
**[20:27] Chitose**
The edits are so misleading, too!
**[20:30] Yomogi**
Why'd they say my shop was
going out of business?
**[20:32] Misao**
He said he wanted to film us as we are,
but never said they wouldn't edit it.
**[20:37] Miyu**
It ain't right!
**[20:38] Mone**
This isn't the real us at all.
We should complain!
**[20:41] Yuina**
Yeah, let's!
**[20:43] Seiji**
Oh, my. Was the program not to your liking?
**[20:46] Seiji**
A while ago, before it aired,
**[20:48] Seiji**
the Teppen Grand Prix Committee called
and told me they were shown the video.
**[20:53] Seiji**
The edited version, of course.
**[20:56] Seiji**
They said it was very moving.
**[20:58] Seiji**
The story of girls struggling and fighting
for comedy with all their strength
**[21:02] Seiji**
really touched their hearts, they said.
**[21:04] Chitose**
They were moved by *this*?
That doesn't make me happy at all.
**[21:07] Seiji**
Oh, really?
**[21:08] Seiji**
Even though they sent you a nice reward?
**[21:11] Mako**
We don't want a reward for that!
Send it straight back!
**[21:14] Seiji**
Oh my.
**[21:15] Seiji**
But you've already eaten it all.
**[21:17] Yuzu**
What do you mean?
**[21:19] Seiji**
That high-quality sukiyaki
meat was your reward.
**[21:22] All three**
Huh?!
**[21:26] Mako**
The meat... was delicious.
**[21:29] Chitose**
I guess that's what being
an adult tastes like.
***SIGN*** Takako-so Live Skit Show
***SIGN*** Takako-so Live Skit Show
**[21:43] (Flashback) Yomogi**
Oh! You all came?
**[21:45] (Flashback) Yuzu**
What did you think?
**[21:47] (Flashback) Miki**
It was really funny!
**[21:47] (Flashback) Rine**
It was funny!
**[21:48] (Flashback) Yuzu**
Thank you.
**[21:50] (Flashback) Yayoi**
Yoshihiro, it's been a while!
**[21:52] (Flashback) Yayoi**
Thanks for coming. Did you like it?
**[21:54] (Flashback) Yoshihiro**
It looked like you three
were really having fun.
**[21:56] (Flashback) Yoshihiro**
You really do like comedy, don't you?
**[21:59] (Flashback) Yayoi**
Yeah! I love it!
**[22:04] [SONG] Lead**
Go! We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
**[22:09] [SONG] back**
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
**[22:16] [SONG] lead**
Hi! Hi! Hello! Let's get
on with the show today.
**[22:19] [SONG] lead**
We've just got four minutes, but we
hope you hear everything that we say.
**[22:22] [SONG] back**
Hey there cutie, hey there cutie,
didn't even miss a beat there, cutie.
**[22:24] [SONG] lead**
We hope you enjoy the show today.
**[22:27] [SONG] lead**
Here at home with you, in your living room,
we'll put a twinkle into your eyes.
**[22:33] [SONG] lead**
We've all dreamed to see if we could be
on a stage so free. Now it's a reality!
**[22:42] [SONG] lead**
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
**[22:45] [SONG] lead**
It's all good when we're laughing together.
**[22:48] [SONG] lead**
If we bomb, slip, even if we cry,
so what! That's still part of our destiny.
**[22:53] [SONG] lead**
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
**[22:56] [SONG] lead**
We'll hit it big if we
keep laughing together.
**[22:59] [SONG] lead**
We never knew that life
could ever be like this,
**[23:02] [SONG] lead**
and now that we're going, you know
there's no way we'll ever stop!
**[23:05] [SONG] lead**
We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
**[23:09] [SONG] back**
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
**[23:10] [SONG] lead**
All of our searching, all of our
training is fading out into the past.
**[23:16] [SONG] lead**
But to us now, those memories
will always be so precious.
**[23:22] [SONG] lead**
All of the tears, all of the pain,
rewriting life with our own words.
**[23:27] [SONG] lead**
We want to laugh it all away with you,
right up to the end. And that's a wrap!
***SIGN*** The Adamski Chapter
# E9 - The Adamski Chapter
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/G8WUN83ZK/the-adamski-chapter)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:02] All three**
Hello!
**[00:03] Chihori**
We've come a long way to Earth.
**[00:05] Mone**
We are...
**[00:07] All three**
...the Invaders!
**[00:09] Yuina**
My name is Jupitris Naru-Naru Neiji Yuina.
**[00:11] Yuina**
Planet Earth is being targeted.
**[00:13] Mone**
I won't let that happen!
**[00:14] Mone**
As protector of the Earth,
**[00:16] Mone**
I will take my crab extract-filled beam saber
and smash your evil ambitions to bits!
**[00:20] Chihori**
Actually, Venusians find
crustaceans revolting.
**[00:23] Yuina**
I only came to warn you, but figured
I might as well invade while I'm at it.
**[00:28] Chihori**
Now *you're* going to invade?
**[00:30] Chihori**
I would have expected that from a Plutonian!
**[00:33] Hikari**
Hey, what do you think?
***SIGN*** Fancy
***SIGN*** Fancy
***SIGN*** Takoyaki
**[00:35] Hikari**
Personally, I don't agree,
but you know Saeka and Mako.
**[00:40] Hikari**
It's not like I can just
pull one out of a hat.
***SIGN*** Today
***SIGN*** Mother
***SIGN*** I have arrived.
***SIGN*** Fancy
***SIGN*** Fancy
***SIGN*** Takoyaki
**[00:43] Chihori**
Sorry! Gotta go!
**[00:44] Hikari**
Huh? Chihori-chan?
**[00:58] Mother**
It's nice to see you, Chihori.
**[01:03] Chihori**
Mother!
**[01:05] [SONG] all**
Yeah!
**[01:05] [SONG] Yomogi**
So, what's comedy?
**[01:06] [SONG] Yayoi**
Yo!
**[01:06] [SONG] Yuzu**
Tough question, for me
**[01:08] [SONG] Yayoi**
What could it be?
It's too far out to see!
**[01:09] [SONG] Yuzu & Yomogi**
Be! See!
**[01:10] [SONG] Yomogi**
Boke and tsukkomi, in the zone
**[01:10] [SONG] Yayoi**
Ye ye, in the zone!
**[01:12] [SONG] Yuzu**
We got god-tier jokes on the horizon
**[01:12] [SONG] Yayoi & Yomogi**
God! Horizon!
**[01:14] [SONG] Kana**
Wanna see us split into bunshin
**[01:14] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Yeah!
**[01:15] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Bullets!
**[01:15] [SONG] Kana**
And hear gags flying at you like bullets?
**[01:17] [SONG] Kana**
Leave it to comedy ninjas!
**[01:18] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Nin-nin!
**[01:18] [SONG] Saeka**
High society, celebrity
**[01:18] [SONG] Hikari & Mako**
High! Celebrity!
**[01:20] [SONG] Saeka**
The cleanest jokes are our priority
**[01:21] [SONG] Hikari & Mako**
Priority!
**[01:22] [SONG] Miyu**
Yeah, Akudare, making you all laugh
**[01:23] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Yeah!
**[01:24] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Ah! Ah!
**[01:25] [SONG] Miyu**
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back
**[01:25] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back!
**[01:27] [SONG] Yuina**
We. Are. The. Invaders. Yo.
**[01:28] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
Ah Invaders
**[01:29] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
That should tell you all you need to know
**[01:30] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
Need to know!
**[01:31] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Yeah!
**[01:31] [SONG] Yuzu**
Shake it up, Wai-Wai!
**[01:31] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Wai-Wai!
**[01:32] [SONG] Yomogi**
Heat up the timeline!
**[01:32] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Timeline!
**[01:33] [SONG] Yayoi**
Scramble for the win,
we won't give up our pride
**[01:35] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Pride!
**[01:35] [SONG] Yomogi**
Found a new line
**[01:36] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Oh!
**[01:36] [SONG] Yuzu**
Gonna sweep the prime time
**[01:37] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Oh!
**[01:37] [SONG] Yayoi**
Who's on top then?
**[01:39] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Gotta take the Teppen!
**[01:39] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina**
Take it to the top
**[01:41] [SONG] all call**
Doin' it for real!
**[01:41] [SONG] Kana; Saeka**
We'll show you, giving everything
we got, oh yeah
**[01:43] [SONG] all call**
Oh yeah
**[01:44] [SONG] Miyu; Yuina**
Gonna face the challenge head-on
**[01:44] [SONG] all call**
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
**[01:46] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina**
Running straight ahead
**[01:46] [SONG] all call**
Yo! Yo! Yo!
**[01:48] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai**
Take it to the top
**[01:48] [SONG] all call**
Yeah that's right!
**[01:50] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai**
It's show
**[01:51] [SONG] Yomogi**
Don't slow down to hear them
call you funny, not a day
**[01:53] [SONG] Yuzu**
You'll never reach the top that way
**[01:53] [SONG] all call**
Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh yeah!
**[01:55] [SONG] Yayoi**
You know it's true, what we say
**[01:57] [SONG] all call**
Hey!
**[01:58] [SONG] all sing**
But this isn't about us just getting a laugh
**[02:01] [SONG] all call**
Yeah! Yeah!
**[02:04] [SONG] all sing**
That's not why we're here
It's much bigger, bigger than all that
**[02:07] [SONG] all call**
All that
**[02:08] [SONG] all sing**
We want to get
**[02:08] [SONG] all call**
We want to get, yeah!
**[02:11] [SONG] all sing**
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
**[02:11] [SONG] all call**
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
**[02:16] [SONG] all sing**
Yeah if we are the ones
that are making you laugh
**[02:16] [SONG] all call**
Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye!
**[02:21] [SONG] all sing**
We gotta go so hard it'll really,
really give us that, you know?
**[02:25] [SONG] all sing**
Top of the laugh
**[02:25] [SONG] all call**
Top of the laugh Ye~ah!
**[02:28] [SONG] all sing**
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way.
We're gonna make it to the top one day!
**[02:28] [SONG] all call**
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way,
oh! We're gonna make it to the top one day!
**[02:33] [SONG] Yayoi**
Aw yeah!
***SIGN*** The Adamski Chapter
**[03:00] Chihori**
* I left home and came here*
* exactly one year ago.*
**[03:05] Chihori**
* Even though we kept finding*
* fliers in space debris,*
***SIGN*** Hokkaido Food Fair
***SIGN*** All-You-Can-Eat Crab
***SIGN*** Exquisite Wire-Grilled Scallops
**[03:08] Chihori**
* the Hokkaido Food Fair never made it*
* to where I live for some reason.*
**[03:12] Chihori**
*In order to taste the authentic ingredients,*
**[03:15] Chihori**
*I realized,*
**[03:16] Chihori**
*I'll just have to go there myself!*
***SIGN*** Hokkaidiner
***SIGN*** Open
***SIGN*** Hokkaidiner
**[03:25] TV Comedian**
*Wow!*
**[03:26] TV Comedian**
*Doin' or don't?*
**[03:28] TV Comedian**
*Ya doin' doin'?*
**[03:30] TV Comedian**
*Ya don't don't don't?*
**[03:31] (Flashback) Waiter**
Here you go.
**[03:32] TV Comedian**
*Doin' doin' doin' doin'!*
**[03:33] (Flashback) Chihori**
Wow!
**[03:35] Chihori**
*Finally, the blue planet's treasure chest!*
**[03:36] TV Comedian**
*Ya don't?*
**[03:39] (Flashback) Chihori**
Wow! It has legs just like my pet on Mars!
**[03:42] Chihori**
*Hokkaido's cuisine was all delicious.*
**[03:45] (Flashback) Chihori**
Wow! The fruit's flesh is the
color of a Venusian lake!
**[03:49] Chihori**
*It was delicious.*
**[03:51] (Flashback) Chihori**
Wow! It looks like the
insects in Jupiter space!
**[03:54] Chihori**
This is too good!
**[03:55] Chihori**
*It was so delicious!*
**[03:57] (Flashback) Teacher**
Hokuto Chihori?
**[03:59] (Flashback) Chihori**
Present!
**[04:00] Chihori**
*Before I knew it, I'd started living here.*
**[04:01] Teacher**
You don't have to stand up.
**[04:03] (Flashback) Chihori**
Present!
***SIGN*** Hokkaido Gourmet Festival
***SIGN*** Exquisite! Hokkaido Gourmet Festival
***SIGN*** Special Seafood Bowl
A jewel box filled with
the fruits of the sea~
**[04:05] (Flashback) Mone**
Sniff, sniff, sniff...
**[04:08] (Flashback) Mone**
Sniff, sniff, sniff...
**[04:10] (Flashback) Mone**
I smell outer space.
**[04:11] (Flashback) Chihori**
Huh?
**[04:12] (Flashback) Mone**
You know, you really smell
like outer space, Hokuto-san.
**[04:16] Chihori**
*Oh, no! Is my cover blown?*
**[04:19] Chihori**
*If the truth gets out, it'll be a disaster!*
**[04:23] Chihori**
*I might be captured and dissected!*
**[04:25] Chihori**
*But I can't shoot an innocent...*
**[04:28] (Flashback) Yuina**
Mone, leave her alone.
You're making her nervous.
**[04:31] (Flashback) Yuina**
I'm sorry, Hokuto-san.
**[04:33] (Flashback) Mone**
Huh? But I, like, just saw her.
**[04:36] (Flashback) Mone**
Hokuto-san was looking at tons
of space pictures on her phone.
**[04:39] Chihori**
* I got lonely and started looking at*
* pictures of home. Was she spying on me?*
**[04:43] (Flashback) Mone**
Hey, don't you like space
stuff too, Hokuto-san?
**[04:46] (Flashback) Mone**
Do you like movies more? Or anime?
**[04:48] (Flashback) Mone**
I can go either way.
**[04:52] (Flashback) Mone**
This is a lighty saber,
but it's also a beamy saber.
**[04:57] (Flashback) Chihori**
U-Um...
**[04:58] (Flashback) Mone**
I always wanted to summon a real alien
to watch space movies and anime with me,
**[05:03] (Flashback) Mone**
so we could debate which was
the best. That's my dream.
**[05:06] (Flashback) Mone**
Wouldn't that be fun, Hokuto-san?
**[05:09] (Flashback) Yuina**
Don't make assumptions about her, Mone!
**[05:11] (Flashback) Yuina**
Maybe she's simply interested in
the planets. Right, Hokuto-san?
**[05:14] (Flashback) Chihori**
Huh?
**[05:14] (Flashback) Chihori**
I... I... I like both!
**[05:19] (Flashback) Chihori**
Stars, planets... I like
everything about outer space!
**[05:22] (Flashback) Chihori**
See? I'm not suspicious at all!
**[05:23] (Flashback) Mone**
Oh, she speaks!
**[05:25] (Flashback) Yuina**
Let's talk all about our
favorite planets, okay?
**[05:28] Chihori**
* Far, far away from home,*
* I made some new friends.*
**[05:32] (Flashback) Girls**
Here!
**[05:34] (Flashback) Girls**
Here!
**[05:34] (Flashback) Mone**
A lot of kids are starting bands
for next month's school festival.
**[05:38] (Flashback) Mone**
Some from our class, too.
**[05:40] (Flashback) Chihori**
Is that right?
**[05:41] (Flashback) Yuina**
That sounds fun.
**[05:42] (Flashback) Mone**
Oh? Do you wanna start a band?
**[05:44] (Flashback) Yuina**
N-No way. I just, um,
**[05:47] (Flashback) Yuina**
think it'd be fun to do something together,
and then be all like, "Let's do this!"
**[05:51] (Flashback) Yuina**
That would be great.
**[05:52] (Flashback) Mone**
Oh, totally.
**[05:53] (Flashback) Mone**
Have some teenage fun.
**[05:55] (Flashback) Mone**
We sure aren't being very teenage.
**[05:57] (Flashback) Chihori**
We aren't being teenage?
**[05:59] (Flashback) Mone**
Nope. Sorry.
**[06:01] (Flashback) Chihori**
Well then, let's do something teenage!
**[06:03] (Flashback) Chihori**
Something we can do together!
**[06:06] (Flashback) Mone**
Like what?
**[06:07] (Flashback) Chihori**
Like something!
**[06:08] (Flashback) Mone**
So, like, what?
**[06:11] (Flashback) Yuina**
Oh.
**[06:13] (Flashback) Yuina**
Comedy!
**[06:15] (Flashback) Mone & Chihori**
Huh?
**[06:16] (Flashback) Yuina**
Wouldn't it be fun to do comedy together?
**[06:19] (Flashback) Yuina**
You both like comedy too, right?
**[06:22] (Flashback) Cow**
Moo!
**[06:24] (Flashback) Yuina**
Okay, so...
**[06:26] (Flashback) Yuina**
I saw a salmon passing by
and decided to grill it!
**[06:29] (Flashback) Mone**
You can't grill up someone's pet salmon!
**[06:32] (Flashback) Chihori**
Oh, my poor salmon Taro-chan!
**[06:35] (Flashback) All three**
Huh?
**[06:39] (Flashback) Mone**
Let's take a break.
**[06:43] (Flashback) Chihori**
Comedy sure is hard.
**[06:46] (Flashback) Yuina**
What are we doing wrong?
**[06:48] (Flashback) Mone**
It's totally obvious.
**[06:50] (Flashback) Yuina**
What?
**[06:50] (Flashback) Mone**
It's character. Character!
**[06:52] (Flashback) Mone**
We're not playing stand-out characters.
**[06:54] (Flashback) Chihori**
Character, huh?
**[06:56] (Flashback) Chihori**
But I doubt it'll work
if we force some gimmick.
**[06:59] (Flashback) Yuina**
It'd be great if we had something
that came naturally to us.
**[07:03] (Flashback) Mone**
We do have one thing!
**[07:05] (Flashback) Yuina**
Huh? What?
**[07:06] (Flashback) Mone**
It's obvious. Outer space!
**[07:09] (Flashback) Chihori**
Huh?
**[07:10] (Flashback) Mone**
You two can play alien invaders
from outer space,
**[07:13] (Flashback) Mone**
and I can play the warrior
of light protecting Earth.
**[07:17] (Flashback) Chihori**
Me... an alien?
**[07:22] (Flashback) Yuina**
I am a space alien!
**[07:23] (Flashback) Yuina**
I've come to invade this planet!
**[07:26] (Flashback) Mone**
You won't get away with it! I'll
drive you out with my potato bomb!
**[07:30] (Flashback) Chihori**
Well, potato eyes *are* Martians' weak point.
**[07:34] (Flashback) Mone**
Huh?
**[07:35] (Flashback) Yuina**
There's no line like that in the script.
**[07:38] Chihori**
* Oh no! I blurted out a*
* real outer-space fact!*
**[07:41] (Flashback) Mone**
Chihori!
**[07:43] (Flashback) Mone**
That was good!
**[07:45] (Flashback) Yuina**
Totally! A space alien who makes
weird space-alien comebacks
**[07:47] (Flashback) Yuina**
from the perspective of a
space alien! That's new!
**[07:50] (Flashback) Mone**
Keep those coming, okay?
**[07:52] (Flashback) Mone**
Let your space flag fly!
**[07:53] (Flashback) Yuina**
Give us more of your alien gaze, Chihori!
**[07:56] (Flashback) Chihori**
Just leave it to me!
**[07:58] Mone**
Take this! Light beam!
**[07:58] Chihori**
* That's how I developed a character that*
* would keep my home planet a secret,*
**[07:59] Chihori**
No, no, that's a laser.
**[08:01] Yuina**
That's right! All the way to Iskandaryu
at the edge of the cosmos!
**[08:02] Chihori**
* but still let me share*
* trivia about outer space.*
**[08:04] Chihori**
*It put me in the perfect position.*
**[08:04] Chihori**
That's, um, 148,000 light years from here.
**[08:08] Mone & Yuina**
No way!
**[08:09] Chihori**
* The routine we later performed at*
* the school festival was a big hit.*
**[08:14] Chihori**
* We gained enough confidence to*
* enter the Teppen Grand Prix,*
**[08:17] Chihori**
* and then a lot of other*
* things happened, so here we are.*
**[08:21] Mother**
Answer me one thing first. Why did
you leave home without permission?
**[08:25] Chihori**
M-Mother, that's...
**[08:28] Mother**
Why did you settle down way out here
in the sticks? Answer me, Chihori!
**[08:32] Chihori**
It's because...
**[08:33] Chihori**
* If I tell her I came all the way*
* here just to eat Hokkaido cuisine,*
**[08:36] Chihori**
*it's guaranteed she'll get mad.*
**[08:38] Chihori**
* I'll have to bluff my way through*
* with a convincing excuse.*
**[08:40] Chihori**
I am on a mission, Mother!
**[08:43] Chihori**
It's a very secret, very important mission!
**[08:46] Mother**
Hmph. Either way, that isn't a good enough
reason to up and run away from home.
**[08:50] Mother**
Don't you understand? You're in line
to take over the family business!
**[08:55] Chihori**
I know that, but...
**[08:57] Mother**
Return home right now!
**[08:59] Chihori**
But...
**[09:00] Mother**
This is an order. Go home!
**[09:03] Chihori**
I don't want to! I am not going home!
I absolutely will not go!
**[09:08] Mother**
I've never liked this place, you know.
**[09:11] Mother**
The environment is polluted, and there
are far too many life forms.
**[09:15] Mother**
I don't think this is the
right place for you at all.
**[09:18] Chihori**
Then you are wrong!
**[09:20] Mother**
The one and only thing
I appreciate about this place is...
***SIGN*** A Dog of... Hula Dance?
**[09:22] Mother**
Its storytelling!
**[09:24] Mother**
In the climax, the dog uses the last of his
strength to successfully do the hula dance.
**[09:30] Mother**
He and his master, the boy,
then ascend to heaven.
**[09:35] Mother**
It's such a moving scene!
**[09:37] Mother**
I cry every time!
**[09:38] Chihori**
Please don't cry, Mother!
**[09:40] Chihori**
* That's right! Mother has a*
* weakness for tearjerkers.*
**[09:43] Chihori**
*In that case...*
**[09:44] Chihori**
Mother!
**[09:46] Chihori**
The humans here very deeply
value compassion and justice.
**[09:50] Chihori**
Their everyday lives are
overflowing with stories
**[09:53] Chihori**
so touching, they almost feel like fiction!
**[09:55] Chihori**
I believe
**[09:56] Chihori**
that interacting with humans, who live
a powerfully moving day-to-day existence,
**[10:02] Chihori**
is my mission in life!
**[10:04] Chihori**
And that is why I absolutely
cannot return home yet!
**[10:12] Mother**
Like what?
**[10:14] Chihori**
Huh?
**[10:14] Mother**
You said they're overflowing with
touching stories, didn't you?
**[10:18] Mother**
In that case, I want you to tell
me exactly what those stories are.
**[10:22] Chihori**
Well, that's...
**[10:23] Mother**
You won't tell me?
**[10:24] Chihori**
* If I don't make it through this,*
* I really will get sent back home.*
**[10:28] Chihori**
*I'll never be able to come back here.*
**[10:31] Chihori**
*And I'll never see...*
**[10:36] Chihori**
I will! I'll tell you!
**[10:39] Mother**
Oh! The upside-down glasses
of determination!
**[10:41] Chihori**
I'll tell you countless touching
stories about the humans I'm with!
***SIGN*** Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
**[10:51] Chihori**
This is a story about my friend Yuina.
**[10:54] Chihori**
An ill young girl lived next door to her.
**[10:59] Chihori**
Her illness got worse by the day,
and eventually she needed surgery.
**[11:04] Chihori**
But the girl was afraid
of undergoing surgery.
**[11:09] Mother**
Oh?
**[11:10] Chihori**
So Yuina decided to make
a deal with the girl.
**[11:15] Chihori**
"If I hit a home run in tomorrow's baseball
game, will you agree to the surgery?"
**[11:20] Chihori**
The girl nodded, and the two
made a pinkie promise.
**[11:26] Mother**
And then? What happened next?
**[11:28] Chihori**
The day of the game,
***SIGN*** Star
***SIGN*** Hatakeyama University
Wada Paints
Hojo Restaurant
***SIGN*** 9th Bottom
***SIGN*** Strikeouts: 1
***SIGN*** Yamaguchi
***SIGN*** Starting
***SIGN*** ERA
***SIGN*** Strikeouts
***SIGN*** Yuina
***SIGN*** Batting
***SIGN*** Avg.
***SIGN*** Hits
***SIGN*** RBI
***SIGN*** Home Run
**[11:37] Yuina & Girl**
Yes!
**[11:38] Chihori**
As promised, Yuina hit a home run, and the
girl underwent a successful surgery.
**[11:44] Yuina**
If she saw me trying my best,
it might give her some courage, too.
**[11:48] Yuina**
That's what I thought.
**[11:49] Yuina**
It's not really my thing, so I wasn't sure
I could do it, but I pulled it off.
**[11:55] Yuina**
My bond of friendship with her gave
me the strength to do it! I'm sure!
**[12:02] Chihori**
Mother!
**[12:03] Mother**
What a nice story!
**[12:04] Mother**
It's such a perfectly corny trope, there's no
room for complaint! Such a nice story!
**[12:08] Chihori**
I know, right?
**[12:10] Mother**
However, that alone isn't
a good enough reason
**[12:12] Mother**
to deepen your relationship
with these humans.
**[12:14] Chihori**
Of course, there are others!
**[12:16] Mother**
What?
**[12:17] Chihori**
This is a story about another friend, Mone.
**[12:22] Chihori**
One day, Mone found a lost
pet by the riverside.
**[12:25] Chihori**
She thought that it must
have been abandoned,
**[12:27] Chihori**
so she decided to take the little
guy home and raise him herself.
**[12:32] Chihori**
Day after day, Mone did everything she could
to take care of him and help him grow.
**[12:37] Chihori**
But several weeks later, Mone ran
into the pet's original owner.
**[12:44] Chihori**
She said to Mone, "Please return my pet."
**[12:48] Mother**
H-How selfish!
**[12:50] Chihori**
The original owner was a little girl.
**[12:53] Chihori**
She had taken good care of her pet,
but her mother accidentally threw it out.
**[12:57] Chihori**
When Mone heard that, she decided to return
the precious little guy to its real owner.
**[13:04] Mone**
Here.
**[13:11] Girl**
Bye-bye!
**[13:15] Mone**
Of course I didn't want to
let him go, but you know,
**[13:18] Mone**
when I saw how sad the girl was,
I couldn't keep him.
**[13:22] Mone**
But it's fine.
**[13:24] Mone**
After raising the little guy,
**[13:26] Mone**
I still feel a bond connecting us.
**[13:31] Mother**
What a lovely story! It's so predictable,
it hits me right in the heart.
**[13:35] Mother**
Is this what your humans are like?
**[13:37] Chihori**
I have plenty more!
**[13:38] Mother**
Are you serious?
**[13:39] Chihori**
Kana-chan went to the supermarket
and waited for the employees
**[13:43] Chihori**
to put end-of-day discount stickers
on the things she wanted.
**[13:45] Kana**
I waited for, like, three hours,
but they just wouldn't mark them down.
**[13:50] Kana**
So I decided to try something else.
**[13:53] Kana**
I tracked down the lady who does the
stickers and started stalking her.
**[13:57] Kana**
Eventually the lady said, "Okay,
I give up," and put the stickers on.
**[14:02] Kana**
That's when I knew the lady
and I had a special bond.
**[14:07] Chihori**
There's more!
**[14:08] Hina**
I didn't want to get my hopes up,
since it was Ibaraki,
**[14:11] Hina**
but then I found that trending soap
opera on a local Ibaraki channel.
**[14:16] Hina**
There must have been a bond connecting us.
**[14:19] Chihori**
Even more!
**[14:20] Yomogi**
I forgot to add the octopus,
but they all sold anyway!
**[14:23] Yomogi**
Thanks to the bonds of friendship.
**[14:24] Saeka**
We had a financial bond.
**[14:26] Yuzu**
It was like we had a kind of bond.
**[14:28] Miyu**
A sticky, stringy bond.
**[14:30] Chitose**
Literally bonded.
**[14:31] Yayoi**
After that, we had a special bond.
**[14:33] Mother**
Oh my god, that's enough!
**[14:36] Mother**
This is so emotionally draining,
I'm going to dehydrate!
**[14:38] Chihori**
Do you see now?
**[14:40] Chihori**
This is the special kind of
radiance that humans have.
**[14:44] Mother**
At first I foolishly thought you were
just throwing the word "bond" in there
**[14:47] Mother**
to make meaningless stories
seem meaningful!
**[14:50] Mother**
Hmm... It's a bad habit of mine.
**[14:53] Mother**
It seems I underestimated
the potential of these humans.
**[14:57] Mother**
I must admit that there would be value in
deepening our relationship with them.
**[15:01] Chihori**
Then...!
**[15:02] Mother**
However, whether or not *they*
accept *you* is a different issue.
**[15:06] Chihori**
Huh?
**[15:07] Mother**
You haven't told them, have you?
That you're an outsider.
**[15:11] Chihori**
Tell them that?!
**[15:13] Mother**
I've witnessed so much discrimination
based on birth place or skin color.
**[15:18] Mother**
At times, it has even led to bloodshed.
**[15:22] Mother**
There is still a very thick wall between
you and the humans of this land.
***SIGN*** Wall
**[15:27] Mother**
You'll never be able to overco—
**[15:29] Chihori**
You can't say that!
**[15:30] Chihori**
I've never felt a wall between us!
**[15:32] Chihori**
Seafood bowls, crabs,
and melons are all delicious!
**[15:35] Chihori**
They're delicious, no matter who eats them!
**[15:37] Chihori**
The time I've spent with my friends here
has been the best time of my life!
**[15:43] Chihori**
I believe in them!
**[15:44] Chihori**
We're connected by friendship,
and no wall could ever separate us!
**[15:52] Mother**
You're determined. I'll give you that.
**[15:56] Chihori**
Fine! I'll tell them. All of them.
**[15:58] Chihori**
I'll come out to them as an alien!
**[16:05] Chihori**
Ah, I'm so nervous.
**[16:07] Chihori**
"Hey, I'm a space alien!"
**[16:09] Chihori**
I bet Yuina and Mone would be
really surprised to hear that.
**[16:13] Yuina & Mone**
What?!
**[16:15] Chihori**
They'll be so surprised,
their jaws will drop.
**[16:18] Chihori**
But it'll be okay because...
**[16:22] Chihori**
We're friends!
**[16:23] Yuina**
Oh, Chihori. You're late.
**[16:26] Mone**
If you're too slow, we'll start without you.
**[16:28] Mone**
But look. It won't light up.
**[16:31] Chihori**
Yuina, Mone, I have to tell you something.
**[16:34] Yuina**
Why so serious all of a sudden?
**[16:36] Chihori**
Everyone, listen up.
**[16:38] Hikari**
Listen up, everyone. I have
an important announcement.
**[16:41] Hikari**
I'm actually... from the future!
**[16:46] Chihori**
What?!
***SIGN*** 5 Hours Earlier
**[16:49] (Flashback) Mako**
Look! Look!
**[16:51] (Flashback) Saeka**
Oh? What's this?
**[16:52] (Flashback) Mako**
My followers online made
a promo video about us.
**[16:56] (Flashback) Mako**
They took a serious look at our
profiles and qualifying skits,
***SIGN*** Special Blog
***SIGN*** Mako
***SIGN*** The Out-of-
Place Influencer
***SIGN*** Saeka
***SIGN*** The Enchanting
Tea Girl, Buying
Out the World
***SIGN*** Hikari
***SIGN*** Japanese
Candy Princess
**[16:58] (Flashback) Mako**
and summarized our different
characteristics.
**[17:01] (Flashback) Hikari**
We look like real entertainers!
**[17:02] (Flashback) Mako**
Takako-so has gotten a ton of attention
since that documentary, too.
**[17:06] (Flashback) Mako**
Don't you think it's cool? Saeka's, too.
**[17:10] (Flashback) Saeka**
"The Enchanting Tea Girl,
Buying Out the World"?
**[17:13] (Flashback) Hikari**
That sounds like you.
**[17:14] (Flashback) Saeka**
It calls you the "Out-of-Place Influencer."
**[17:18] (Flashback) Mako**
I g-guess that makes sense.
**[17:21] (Flashback) Saeka**
And Hikari, the "Japanese Candy Princess."
***SIGN*** Hikari
***SIGN*** Japanese Candy Princess
**[17:25] (Flashback) Mako**
Isn't yours a little weak?
**[17:27] (Flashback) Saeka**
You're right.
**[17:28] (Flashback) Saeka**
Like they ran out of ideas, or only
spent two seconds thinking about it.
**[17:32] (Flashback) Hikari**
Definitely.
**[17:33] (Flashback) Mako**
Don't just agree! Do you
know what this means?
**[17:36] (Flashback) Mako**
It means you lack character!
**[17:38] (Flashback) Saeka**
Lacking character... That is
a significant problem.
**[17:42] (Flashback) Hikari**
Is it?
**[17:43] (Flashback) Mako**
If we don't do something about it,
you'll become the odd one out.
**[17:46] (Flashback) Saeka**
That would be terrible.
**[17:48] (Flashback) Hikari**
Would it?
***SIGN*** Crêpes
***SIGN*** Chilled Pineapple
***SIGN*** Fancy
***SIGN*** Takoyaki
***SIGN*** Fancy
**[17:49] (Flashback) Hikari**
And so they said I should talk with the other
"weak characters" and try to find a solution.
**[17:55] (Flashback) Hikari**
Hey, what do you think?
**[17:57] (Flashback) Hikari**
Personally, I don't agree, but you know...
***SIGN*** Fancy
***SIGN*** Fancy
***SIGN*** Takoyaki
***SIGN*** Fancy
***SIGN*** Fancy
***SIGN*** Takoyaki
**[18:00] (Flashback) Chihori**
Sorry! Gotta go!
**[18:02] (Flashback) Hikari**
Huh? Chihori-chan?
**[18:04] (Flashback) Saeka**
She up and left.
**[18:06] (Flashback) Mako**
Now she's the oddest odd one out.
**[18:10] (Flashback) Hikari**
But what can I do about my character?
**[18:11] (Flashback) Saeka**
There's no other choice.
You'll have to start studying, Hikari.
**[18:15] (Flashback) Mako**
Studying?
**[18:16] (Flashback) Saeka**
There's an Akashic Records Research
Club at my father's company.
**[18:21] (Flashback) Saeka**
We can ask them for help.
**[18:23] (Flashback) Hikari**
What kind of club is that?
**[18:24] (Flashback) Mako**
You mean, ask them to help
Hikari develop a character?
**[18:26] (Flashback) Saeka**
Yes. The Akashic records are supposed to be
**[18:29] (Flashback) Saeka**
where all past and future
events have been documented.
**[18:32] (Flashback) Saeka**
With their help, you should
be able to develop
**[18:35] (Flashback) Saeka**
a character as a time traveler.
**[18:38] Hikari**
I'm from the future!
***SIGN*** Akashic Records
**[18:39] Hikari**
So I know everything that
will happen in the future!
**[18:43] Girls**
Huh?
**[18:44] Yomogi**
The future?
**[18:45] Yuzu**
Wow!
**[18:46] Chihori**
H-Hey, I'm actually a space alien, you know.
**[18:49] Mone**
Save your bit for later.
**[18:51] Mone**
A time traveler? Cool!
**[18:53] Chihori**
But this isn't a bit...
**[18:55] Yuina**
Do you know everything?
**[18:56] Chihori**
Um, I'm literally a space alien!
**[18:59] Mone**
Yeah, whatever. Later.
**[19:02] Miyu**
Time travelers are so cool!
**[19:04] Miyu**
So do you know what'll happen to Ibaraki?
**[19:06] Hikari**
In 3,000 years, Ibaraki will
become a sovereign nation.
**[19:09] Miyu**
Ooh!
**[19:09] Misao**
No way!
**[19:10] Yayoi**
Hey, what will okonomiyaki
be like in the future?
**[19:13] Hikari**
It'll have octopus inside.
**[19:14] Yomogi**
That doesn't count.
**[19:16] Kana**
Oh, does that mean you know who'll
win the Teppen Grand Prix too?
**[19:20] Hikari**
Sorry, civilization was destroyed once,
and that part of the history was lost.
**[19:24] Chitose**
But that's the most important part!
**[19:26] Seiji**
All right, who did this?!
**[19:28] Seiji**
Who dug this hole in the lawn?
**[19:30] Yayoi**
Okay, then do you know what color
apron the manager is wearing today?
**[19:34] Hikari**
Today, it's pink!
**[19:36] All**
Let's check!
**[19:38] All**
Huh?
**[19:40] Yomogi**
Rainbow!
**[19:43] Hikari**
I guess this time traveler
character has its limits.
**[19:45] Saeka**
It seems so.
**[19:47] Saeka**
The Akashic Records Research Club
notebook also seems to lack credibility.
***SIGN*** Akashic Records
***SIGN*** For Beginners
**[19:52] Yayoi**
Huh? So it was all a lie?
**[19:54] Hikari**
Sorry, I wanted to add to my character.
**[19:57] Kana**
Aw, shucks.
**[19:58] Miyu**
Character, huh?
**[19:59] Hina**
I knew it'd be something like that.
**[20:01] Chihori**
Um, hey!
**[20:03] Chihori**
I am actually a space alien!
**[20:09] Chihori**
I'm... from space.
**[20:11] Mone**
Fine, fine, enough character bits.
**[20:13] Mone**
This isn't the time for a silly setup.
**[20:15] Chihori**
Oh, why not?! Come on!
**[20:24] Mone**
Oh. It lit up.
**[20:25] Mother**
Oh! Is that...?
**[20:27] Mother**
It must be! The universally recognized...
**[20:31] Mother**
Light of Friendship!
**[20:34] Chihori**
We shouldn't fight! Let's all be friends.
**[20:38] Chihori**
Here, as a sign of trust.
**[20:40] Yuina**
I, Jupitris Naru-Naru Neiji Yuina,
hereby make a pledge of peace.
**[20:43] Mone**
Wide open!
**[20:46] Chihori**
Galactic war has begun! But whatever.
**[20:49] All three**
Thank you very much!
**[20:52] Yomogi**
They're always all over the place.
**[20:54] Yayoi**
They don't have a tsukkomi
to keep them in line.
**[20:59] Chihori**
Are you sure it's all right?
**[21:01] Mother**
Yes, now that I've seen that light.
**[21:04] Chihori**
Oh, okay.
**[21:05] Mother**
It's decided now, so do all you can to
succeed in your efforts on this planet.
**[21:09] Chihori**
Yeah. You should visit
in person sometime, Mother.
**[21:13] Chihori**
I really think you'd start
to like this planet.
**[21:16] Mother**
I'll think about it.
**[21:17] Chihori**
By the way, what will you
do with that avatar?
**[21:20] Mother**
Don't worry. It will
automatically self-destruct.
**[21:32] Mother**
The avatar is taken care of.
All ships, return to base.
**[21:37] Subordinate**
But... are you sure?
**[21:39] Mother**
Yes. We can't annihilate
my daughter's friends.
**[21:44] Subordinate**
Very well. All ships, cease invasion!
**[21:53] Chihori**
See you, Mother.
**[21:55] Yuina**
Chihori, what are you looking at?
**[21:57] Mone**
Huh? Is that...
**[21:59] Yuina**
A UFO?
**[22:00] Yuina**
No way!
**[22:01] Mone**
It can't be.
**[22:03] Chihori**
I know, right?
**[22:05] [SONG] Lead**
Go! We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
**[22:09] [SONG] back**
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
**[22:16] [SONG] lead**
Hi! Hi! Hello! Let's get
on with the show today.
**[22:19] [SONG] lead**
We've just got four minutes, but we
hope you hear everything that we say.
**[22:22] [SONG] back**
Hey there cutie, hey there cutie,
didn't even miss a beat there, cutie.
**[22:24] [SONG] lead**
We hope you enjoy the show today.
**[22:27] [SONG] lead**
Here at home with you, in your living room,
we'll put a twinkle into your eyes.
**[22:33] [SONG] lead**
We've all dreamed to see if we could be
on a stage so free. Now it's a reality!
**[22:42] [SONG] lead**
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
**[22:45] [SONG] lead**
It's all good when we're laughing together.
**[22:48] [SONG] lead**
If we bomb, slip, even if we cry,
so what! That's still part of our destiny.
**[22:53] [SONG] lead**
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
**[22:56] [SONG] lead**
We'll hit it big if we
keep laughing together.
**[22:59] [SONG] lead**
We never knew that life
could ever be like this,
**[23:02] [SONG] lead**
and now that we're going, you know
there's no way we'll ever stop!
**[23:05] [SONG] lead**
We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
**[23:09] [SONG] back**
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
**[23:10] [SONG] lead**
All of our searching, all of our
training is fading out into the past.
**[23:16] [SONG] lead**
But to us now, those memories
will always be so precious.
**[23:22] [SONG] lead**
All of the tears, all of the pain,
rewriting life with our own words.
**[23:27] [SONG] lead**
We want to laugh it all away with you,
right up to the end. And that's a wrap!
***SIGN*** The Piñata Chapter
# E10 - The Piñata Chapter
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GZ7UV8QZN/the-piata-chapter)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:03] Miyu**
Hi, everyone!
**[00:04] All three**
We're Akudare Kingdom!
**[00:06] Miyu**
Love saves Ibaraki!
**[00:08] Misao**
You're still aiming too low!
**[00:10] Hina**
She's right. We aren't even sure if
Ibaraki will still exist next year.
**[00:15] Misao**
Of course we are!
**[00:17] Misao**
How do you expect an entire
prefecture to get annihilated?
**[00:20] Miyu**
Even if it does get annihilated,
it'll keep coming back to life.
**[00:23] Miyu**
'Cause in Ibaraki,
**[00:25] Miyu**
every day is Happy Birthday!
**[00:28] [SONG] all**
Yeah!
**[00:28] [SONG] Yomogi**
So, what's comedy?
**[00:29] [SONG] Yayoi**
Yo!
**[00:30] [SONG] Yuzu**
Tough question, for me
**[00:31] [SONG] Yayoi**
What could it be?
It's too far out to see!
**[00:32] [SONG] Yuzu & Yomogi**
Be! See!
**[00:33] [SONG] Yomogi**
Boke and tsukkomi, in the zone
**[00:33] [SONG] Yayoi**
Ye ye, in the zone!
**[00:35] [SONG] Yuzu**
We got god-tier jokes on the horizon
**[00:35] [SONG] Yayoi & Yomogi**
God! Horizon!
**[00:37] [SONG] Kana**
Wanna see us split into bunshin
**[00:37] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Yeah!
**[00:38] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Bullets!
**[00:38] [SONG] Kana**
And hear gags flying at you like bullets?
**[00:40] [SONG] Kana**
Leave it to comedy ninjas!
**[00:41] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Nin-nin!
**[00:41] [SONG] Saeka**
High society, celebrity
**[00:41] [SONG] Hikari & Mako**
High! Celebrity!
**[00:43] [SONG] Saeka**
The cleanest jokes are our priority
**[00:44] [SONG] Hikari & Mako**
Priority!
**[00:46] [SONG] Miyu**
Yeah, Akudare, making you all laugh
**[00:46] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Yeah!
**[00:47] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Ah! Ah!
**[00:48] [SONG] Miyu**
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back
**[00:48] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back!
**[00:50] [SONG] Yuina**
We. Are. The. Invaders. Yo.
**[00:51] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
Ah Invaders
**[00:52] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
That should tell you all you need to know
**[00:53] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
Need to know!
**[00:54] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Yeah!
**[00:54] [SONG] Yuzu**
Shake it up, Wai-Wai!
**[00:54] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Wai-Wai!
**[00:55] [SONG] Yomogi**
Heat up the timeline!
**[00:55] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Timeline!
**[00:56] [SONG] Yayoi**
Scramble for the win,
we won't give up our pride
**[00:58] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Pride!
**[00:59] [SONG] Yomogi**
Found a new line
**[00:59] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Oh!
**[00:59] [SONG] Yuzu**
Gonna sweep the prime time
**[01:00] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Oh!
**[01:00] [SONG] Yayoi**
Who's on top then?
**[01:02] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Gotta take the Teppen!
**[01:02] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina**
Take it to the top
**[01:04] [SONG] all call**
Doin' it for real!
**[01:05] [SONG] Kana; Saeka**
We'll show you, giving everything
we got, oh yeah
**[01:06] [SONG] all call**
Oh yeah
**[01:07] [SONG] Miyu; Yuina**
Gonna face the challenge head-on
**[01:07] [SONG] all call**
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
**[01:09] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina**
Running straight ahead
**[01:09] [SONG] all call**
Yo! Yo! Yo!
**[01:11] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai**
Take it to the top
**[01:11] [SONG] all call**
Yeah that's right!
**[01:13] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai**
It's show
**[01:14] [SONG] Yomogi**
Don't slow down to hear them
call you funny, not a day
**[01:16] [SONG] Yuzu**
You'll never reach the top that way
**[01:16] [SONG] all call**
Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh yeah!
**[01:18] [SONG] Yayoi**
You know it's true, what we say
**[01:20] [SONG] all call**
Hey!
**[01:21] [SONG] all sing**
But this isn't about us just getting a laugh
**[01:24] [SONG] all call**
Yeah! Yeah!
**[01:27] [SONG] all sing**
That's not why we're here
It's much bigger, bigger than all that
**[01:30] [SONG] all call**
All that
**[01:31] [SONG] all sing**
We want to get
**[01:31] [SONG] all call**
We want to get, yeah!
**[01:34] [SONG] all sing**
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
**[01:34] [SONG] all call**
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
**[01:39] [SONG] all sing**
Yeah if we are the ones
that are making you laugh
**[01:39] [SONG] all call**
Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye!
**[01:44] [SONG] all sing**
We gotta go so hard it'll really,
really give us that, you know?
**[01:48] [SONG] all sing**
Top of the laugh
**[01:48] [SONG] all call**
Top of the laugh Ye~ah!
**[01:51] [SONG] all sing**
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way.
We're gonna make it to the top one day!
**[01:51] [SONG] all call**
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way,
oh! We're gonna make it to the top one day!
**[01:56] [SONG] Yayoi**
Aw yeah!
***SIGN*** The Piñata Chapter
**[02:06] Mako**
*So, to tell the truth, today is my birthday.*
**[02:10] Mako**
*Happy Birthday to me.*
**[02:13] Mako**
* A wonderful day of all-I-can-mooch*
* that only comes once a year.*
***SIGN*** Room Four
Akudare Kingdom
**[02:21] Mako**
* I want a sweet,*
* yummy birthday cake and presents.*
**[02:25] Mako**
*Especially presents,*
**[02:27] Mako**
* since the more friends I have,*
* the more presents I can expect.*
**[02:31] Mako**
*Friends are justice in the birthday system.*
**[02:34] Mako**
*I'm living here with everyone this year,*
**[02:37] Mako**
* so I'm in an unusually advantageous*
* position to enjoy my birthday.*
**[02:41] Mako**
*But wait!*
**[02:43] Mako**
*On last year's birthday, to get presents,*
***SIGN*** It's been ages! You good? You know today's my birthday, right? lol
**[02:46] Mako**
* I sent messages to every*
* single one of my friends*
***SIGN*** Hey there!!
You know what day it is?
Hurray! It is my birthday.
**[02:48] Mako**
* and then Saeka and Hikari*
* found out, and then they said,*
**[02:51] (Flashback) Hikari**
Isn't that rather uncouth?
**[02:53] Mako**
I'll never forget that word!
**[02:56] Mako**
I don't want them to think of me like that!
***SIGN*** Bullet Kunoichi
***SIGN*** Edit Profile
***SIGN*** Hi there! I'm living in Takako-so as part of the comedy trio Bullet Kunoichi.
I always wanted to start a Waratter account, so here I am!
Let's be friends!
**[02:58] Kana**
*Today's my birthday.*
**[03:00] Kana**
* Today, I can eat all the cake*
* and get all the presents.*
**[03:04] Kana**
*It's the best login bonus ever!*
**[03:08] Kana**
*My birthday comes during summer vacation,*
***SIGN*** We asked people whose birthdays fall on vacations
and holidays. Have you ever missed out?
***SIGN*** Yes
***SIGN*** Yes (78%)
***SIGN*** I don't know
***SIGN*** I don't know (13%)
***SIGN*** No
***SIGN*** No (7%)
***SIGN*** I am a god
***SIGN*** I am a god (2%)
**[03:11] Kana**
* so I usually don't have*
* a chance to celebrate.*
**[03:13] Kana**
* But this year, I'm here at*
* Takako-so with everyone.*
**[03:16] Kana**
* Counting the manager, I could*
* potentially get fifteen presents!*
**[03:22] Kana**
*However!*
***SIGN*** TV SHOPPING
**[03:24] (Flashback) Kana**
My birthday is next week!
**[03:27] (Flashback) Kana**
My birthday's next week!
**[03:29] (Flashback) Kana**
You gotta be birthday!
Are you seriously birthday?
**[03:31] (Flashback) Kana**
What the heck are you, birthday?
**[03:33] (Flashback) Chitose**
Aw, shut up!
**[03:35] (Flashback) Chitose**
The next time you say "birthday,"
I'm gonna dump you in the Dotonbori Canal!
**[03:40] Kana**
I don't wanna be a mermaid at
the bottom of the Dotonbori Canal!
**[03:43] Mako**
* They'll hate me if I bug them*
* directly about my birthday.*
**[03:47] Mako**
*But if...*
**[03:49] Kana**
* I just don't use the word "birthday,"*
* it should be okay, right?*
***SIGN*** Edit Profile
**[03:54] Mako**
* On Waratter, when it's your birthday,*
* balloons float up the screen.*
**[03:57] Mako**
*Do I show them?*
**[03:59] Kana**
* Maybe I can act surprised and*
* say, "Oh, look! Balloons!"*
***SIGN*** Edit Profile
**[04:02] Mako**
* Then I can bug them about my birthday*
* without ever actually saying "birthday."*
**[04:06] Kana**
* And that's how I'll get*
* fifteen presents this year!*
**[04:10] Mako**
*Thanks, Waratter!*
**[04:12] Kana**
*Piece of cake!*
**[04:15] Mako**
Hey, hey, guys!
**[04:16] Misao**
Huh. Now I've seen everything.
**[04:20] Announcer**
* A new problem is facing*
* today's youth—balloon harassment.*
***SIGN*** A NEW PROBLEM FACING YOUTH
***SIGN*** BALLOON HARASSMENT
**[04:24] Announcer**
* When Waratter users take*
* advantage of the balloons*
***SIGN*** I got balloons yo
**[04:27] Announcer**
* that appear on their birthday to try to*
* get attention, this is what it is called.*
**[04:32] Announcer**
* By writing a vague post like,*
* "the balloons have flown,"*
***SIGN*** Congrats!
**[04:35] Announcer**
* they make their friends feel*
* intimidated into celebrating.*
**[04:38] Announcer**
* "It is my birthday! You know*
* that it is! Take a hint!"*
**[04:42] Announcer**
* is reportedly what it feels like to the*
* friends who feel they are being coerced.*
**[04:46] Announcer**
* It is a new form of harassment*
* born in the age of social media.*
**[04:53] Mako**
*Balloon harassment?!*
**[04:55] Kana**
*I've never heard of that before!*
**[04:58] Misao**
Huh? What's wrong with you two?
**[05:00] Miyu**
Oh, a funny video? Show me too!
**[05:04] Kana**
Oh! Take this!
**[05:08] Miyu**
What's wrong?
**[05:09] Kana**
I saw a bug on the floor.
**[05:11] Miyu**
You didn't have to smash
it with your phone, though!
**[05:16] Yomogi**
Mako-chan, what the heck?
**[05:19] Mako**
Oh, I'm just hungry.
**[05:21] Misao**
That doesn't mean you should eat your phone!
**[05:23] Misao**
Talk about an appetite for destruction!
**[05:26] Mako**
*That was close!*
**[05:28] Mako**
* I thought they might see it,*
* so I instinctively chomped down!*
**[05:32] Mako**
* But there's more than one way*
* to get birthday attention.*
**[05:36] Mako**
*Golly! What's a pen doing here?*
**[05:41] Mako**
* There's only one kind of calendar*
* icon you use on birthdays.*
**[05:45] Mako**
*A birthday cake!*
**[05:47] Mako**
* If I draw one, they should realize*
* it's someone's birthday.*
**[05:50] Mako**
* Yeah, this definitely doesn't look*
* like I'm begging for attention.*
**[05:56] Kana**
*What is she up to?*
**[05:59] Mako**
*It's done!*
**[06:01] Mako**
* Wait... is that what a*
* birthday cake looks like?*
**[06:03] Mako**
* Whatever. It's close enough*
* for them to get it.*
**[06:07] Mako**
* Now I just wait for someone*
* to notice my drawing.*
**[06:11] Misao**
Oh!
**[06:11] Mako**
*It's time.*
**[06:12] Miyu**
What's wrong, Misao?
**[06:14] Misao**
This drawing... is it one of those?
***SIGN*** IT APPEARS AGAIN!
***SIGN*** THE HORNGRY DONUT MONSTER
**[06:17] Announcer**
* The legendary Horngry Donut monster*
* has reportedly appeared again.*
**[06:21] Mako**
*What's a Horngry Donut monster?*
**[06:23] Announcer**
* As per its name, the Horngry Donut monster*
* is a horned, hangry, donut-like monster.*
**[06:29] Announcer**
* Despite its adorable appearance, it is said*
* to be an American police officer inside.*
**[06:34] Mako**
* I mean, they do say American police*
* officers go crazy for donuts.*
**[06:39] Miyu**
Yeah, this is totally the
Horngry Donut monster.
**[06:42] Yomogi**
But why draw the Horngry
Donut icon on today's date?
**[06:46] Misao**
You drew this, right, Mako?
**[06:48] Mako**
Huh?!
**[06:49] Misao**
Weren't you drawing something a second ago?
**[06:52] Mako**
I-I just had this feeling that the Horngry
Donut monster might appear today.
**[06:56] Miyu**
Just a prediction? Jeez.
**[06:58] Yomogi**
Yeah, a prediction.
**[07:00] Mako**
*Oh, that was close. I think I fooled them.*
**[07:03] Mako**
*Kana-chan?*
**[07:06] Kana**
Hi, Ma! It's been a while.
***SIGN*** Ma
***SIGN*** In Call
***SIGN*** Mute
***SIGN*** Speaker
***SIGN*** Selected
**[07:08] Ma**
*What's goin' on? You never call like this.*
**[07:12] Kana**
I guess I just wanted
to hear your voice, Ma.
**[07:15] Kana**
* Ma obviously knows that*
* today is my birthday.*
**[07:19] Kana**
* If she says "Happy Birthday"*
* normally while we're talking,*
**[07:22] Kana**
*then I can't be blamed for bringing it up.*
**[07:25] Kana**
*Because Ma will have said it.*
**[07:27] Kana**
*I'll still be innocent.*
**[07:30] Miyu**
Kana's mom has a really pretty voice.
**[07:32] Misao**
You shouldn't listen in
on people's phone calls.
**[07:35] Kana**
So, Ma, don't you have something to tell me?
**[07:39] Ma**
*Oh. Uh, yeah, you're right. Actually, Kana...*
**[07:43] Kana**
Yeah?
**[07:44] Ma**
*It's Pa.*
**[07:45] Ma**
*He left me.*
**[07:47] Kana**
Huh?!
**[07:48] Kana**
What are you talking about, Ma?
What do you mean?
**[07:51] Ma**
*I mean exactly what I said.*
**[07:53] Yomogi**
We can't hear anything.
We didn't hear a thing.
**[07:56] Ma**
*I think I was too hard on him yesterday.*
**[07:59] Kana**
Are you okay?
**[08:01] Ma**
* S-Sure. I'm okay. I'll get in*
* touch again if anything happens.*
**[08:04] Ma**
*Sorry, Kana. Today of all days...*
**[08:07] Kana**
Don't worry about it!
I mean, try to cheer up, Ma.
***SIGN*** Ma
***SIGN*** In Call
***SIGN*** Selected
***SIGN*** Mute
***SIGN*** Speaker
***SIGN*** Call Time
**[08:15] Kana**
*That isn't what I expected!*
**[08:17] Misao**
Kana, if there's anything we
can do to help, just ask.
**[08:21] Miyu**
We're on your side, Kana!
**[08:24] Kana**
Th-Thanks.
**[08:27] Kana**
* A huge miscalculation. Why'd she*
* have to tell me such shocking news?*
**[08:33] Mako**
*"Today of all days"?*
**[08:34] Mako**
*I'm sure that's what she said.*
**[08:37] Kana**
* Mako-chan drew that? Is it*
* really a Horngry Donut?*
**[08:41] Kana**
*When it's on a calendar like that...*
**[08:44] Kana**
*Huh? No way!*
**[08:46] Mako**
* Come to think of it, she reacted the same*
* way I did to the balloon harassment story.*
**[08:51] Mako**
*Does that mean it's also Kana-chan's...*
**[08:53] Kana**
*It's also Mako-chan's...*
**[08:54] Mako & Kana**
*...birthday today?!*
**[08:56] Kana**
* But if it is, why hasn't*
* she said so herself?*
**[09:00] Mako**
* Does Kana-chan have some reason*
* to keep quiet, just like me?*
**[09:03] Mako**
* If she does, I can't be the one to*
* point out that it's her birthday.*
**[09:08] Mako**
*The reason is...*
**[09:09] Kana**
* If I point out that it's Mako-chan's birthday,*
* I'll have to give her a present.*
**[09:14] Kana**
*I totally want to celebrate,*
**[09:15] Kana**
* but if I give her a present without getting*
* one first, I'll feel like a loser. No thanks!*
**[09:20] Mako**
*I totally want to celebrate,*
**[09:22] Mako**
* but it's too bad, because I don't*
* have any money to buy a present.*
**[09:25] Kana**
*I still want* my *presents, though!*
**[09:28] Kana**
*Including one from Mako-chan, of course.*
**[09:29] Mako**
*I'll get a present without giving one.*
**[09:32] Mako**
* I'll keep pretending I didn't*
* realize it's Kana-chan's birthday.*
**[09:36] Kana**
* Do I have to make her*
* realize it's my birthday?*
**[09:40] Mako**
* This is the start of a*
* battle that I can't lose!*
**[09:44] Kana**
* It's a death match. A life or*
* death battle for presents.*
**[09:49] Mako**
*En garde, Kana-chan.*
**[09:51] Mako**
*I'll make sure that you...*
**[09:53] Kana**
*Mako-chan, I'm gonna make you...*
**[09:57] Mako & Kana**
*give me a present!*
***SIGN*** Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
**[10:05] Miyu**
An official Waratter account?
**[10:07] Misao**
Yeah, for Akudare.
**[10:09] Misao**
Hina said we should make one.
**[10:11] Misao**
Or maybe she already did?
**[10:14] Miyu**
I don't get that stuff,
so I'll let you guys handle it.
**[10:16] Miyu**
But how about we make an official
Waratter account for Komon-sama?
**[10:20] Misao**
That'd be *un*official.
**[10:23] Kana**
Hey! Hey! Look at what I just made.
***SIGN*** Name: Kiyotsuru Kana DOB Aug. 10
Address: Takako-so
Valid: Forever
Licenses:
Class: Medium Moped
**[10:29] Miyu**
A potato stamp? I made those
all the time as a kid.
**[10:32] Yomogi**
Why a license, though?
**[10:34] Kana**
The world is so picky about
rules and rights, right?
**[10:37] Kana**
But I thought it'd be okay
to make my own license card.
**[10:40] Kana**
Even though I don't
have a real license.
**[10:43] Mako**
Oh! There!
***SIGN*** DOB Aug. 10
**[10:46] Kana**
*Heh. It looks like Mako-chan noticed.*
**[10:48] Kana**
*License cards include personal information.*
**[10:52] Kana**
*Yes, including one's birthday!*
**[10:54] Mako**
* She shoved her birthday*
* in front of us so boldly.*
**[10:58] Mako**
* This is bad! If anyone else*
* notices the date on the license,*
**[11:01] Mako**
* Kana-chan's birthday will*
* be public knowledge!*
**[11:04] Kana**
*I knew this day would come.*
**[11:06] Kana**
* Good thing I took that course*
* in potato stamping!*
**[11:09] ---**
*I've won this one, Mako-chan.*
**[11:11] Miyu**
Kana, you seein' this?
**[11:13] Kana**
Got 'em!
***SIGN*** License
**[11:14] Miyu**
If you look close, your face
looks just like Suzuki-sensei.
**[11:17] Kana**
Who?!
**[11:18] Misao**
Huh? Are you sure?
**[11:20] Yomogi**
Who's Suzuki-sensei?
**[11:22] Miyu**
The art teacher from our high school.
The resemblance is uncanny!
**[11:26] Miyu**
See? Add a little here, and...
**[11:29] Kana**
Hey! Don't!
**[11:30] Miyu**
See?
***SIGN*** Name: Kiyotsuru Kana DOB Aug. 10
Address: Takako-so
Valid: Forever
Licenses:
Class: Medium Moped
***SIGN*** Licenses:
**[11:32] Yomogi**
Wait, it's a *male* teacher?
**[11:34] Misao**
Yeah, in that case, I think it
looks more like Kato-sensei.
**[11:38] Misao**
Give it here.
**[11:40] Kana**
Hey, come on...
**[11:41] Misao**
There! It's Kato-sensei!
***SIGN*** Licenses:
**[11:43] Miyu**
Oh. Now that you mention it, yeah.
**[11:45] Yomogi**
But that's so weird.
**[11:46] Yomogi**
How can there be two different people
**[11:48] Yomogi**
with the same base head as
Kana-chan at the same school?
**[11:51] Miyu**
Now, check this out!
**[11:53] Kana**
Could you guys stop?
**[11:55] Miyu**
Doesn't it look exactly like
Macaronita-sensei now?
**[11:58] Yomogi**
Macaronita isn't even human!
**[12:00] Misao**
Macaronita-sensei is a craftsman too,
so of course he has wings.
**[12:05] Kana**
Yeah, um, instead of that,
could you look a little closer?
**[12:09] Misao**
With a few more tweaks, doesn't it look like
the science teacher, Yanagita-sensei?
**[12:12] Yomogi**
How many people are at your school
are modeled after Kana-chan?
**[12:15] Misao**
Give it here.
**[12:16] Miyu**
Hey, wait! If you're doing that,
I wanna add a catapult deck.
**[12:22] Misao**
Ooh!
**[12:22] Miyu**
Wow!
**[12:24] Miyu**
Oh, dang. Sorry.
**[12:25] Misao**
Sorry. I felt like a kid again.
**[12:28] Kana**
I-It's okay. Don't worry about it.
**[12:32] Kana**
*The fruit of all my work...*
**[12:34] Mako**
Well, that's too bad, Kana-chan.
**[12:37] Mako**
Want a sauce senbei cracker?
**[12:38] Kana**
Yeah! I'd love one!
**[12:40] Mako**
I made a bunch, so help yourself.
**[12:42] Kana**
Really? Thanks!
**[12:45] Kana**
*D-Did you...?*
**[12:48] Kana**
*She got me!*
**[12:49] Kana**
* She finished such high-quality sauce*
* senbei while I made my potato stamp!*
**[12:54] Kana**
* And she's actually good at drawing!*
* What was up with that Horngry Donut?*
**[12:59] Mako**
*Well, I suppose now I have won, Kana-chan.*
**[13:03] Yayoi**
We're home!
**[13:04] Yomogi**
Welcome back. Did you get what I asked for?
**[13:07] Yayoi**
I forgot what you wanted, so I just
bought tons of snacks instead.
**[13:12] Yomogi**
You did *what*?
**[13:13] Yomogi**
You've got the self-control
of an elementary schooler.
**[13:16] Yuzu**
I'm sorry. I should have checked
with you before we left.
**[13:20] Yayoi**
It's okay. You know, they say
there's a snack for everything.
**[13:24] Yomogi**
No, they don't!
**[13:25] Yayoi**
Oh! Those sauce senbei look delicious!
**[13:27] Yayoi**
Can I have one?
**[13:28] Misao**
Sure, go ahead.
**[13:29] Yayoi**
Thank you!
**[13:32] Mako**
Hey, wait!
**[13:35] Yuzu**
Me too. Thank you!
**[13:39] Yayoi**
I sure get hungry after doing hard work.
**[13:41] Yomogi**
You're supposed to say that after
you've actually finished your job.
**[13:45] Yomogi**
You don't have the right to
be that hungry, Yayoi.
**[13:47] Yayoi**
"Even one who is not yet done
shall become hungry."
**[13:51] Yayoi**
We are human, after all!
**[13:53] Yomogi**
You ain't reciting proverbs.
**[13:56] Mako**
Um, hey...
**[13:57] Yayoi**
Oh, sorry. Were those for you, Mako-chan?
**[14:00] Mako**
Well, not exactly.
**[14:03] Mako**
*That was my masterpiece!*
**[14:06] Yayoi**
Kana-chan!
**[14:07] Kana**
Huh?
**[14:08] Yayoi**
Did you get a manicure? How pretty!
**[14:11] Kana**
I did it myself. How's it look?
**[14:14] Miyu**
It's so cool that you did it yourself!
**[14:16] Miyu**
I like 'em more weaponized, though.
**[14:19] Misao**
You're totally thinkin' of the guy with
bladed gloves who slices people up.
**[14:23] Mako**
Oh, wow! Let me look, too!
**[14:26] Kana**
Sure.
**[14:27] Mako**
Wha—!
**[14:29] Mako**
*She's using her manicure?!*
**[14:31] Kana**
*Just as planned.*
**[14:34] Mako**
* I can't believe she wrote it*
* on every single fingernail!*
**[14:40] Yomogi**
This is pretty good!
***SIGN*** Squid Ink
**[14:43] Yayoi**
Right? Aren't they yummy?
**[14:46] Yayoi**
They're deep squid ink chips.
***SIGN*** Deep Squid Ink Chips
**[14:48] Yayoi**
They look kinda weird,
but one bite and you're hooked.
**[14:51] Kana**
Are they that good? Can I have some?
**[14:53] Yomogi**
Sure.
**[14:58] Kana**
Whoa! What a unique texture!
**[15:01] Yayoi**
I know, right?
**[15:02] Yayoi**
You can't blame me for buying these up
when I forgot what I was shopping for.
**[15:10] Yuzu**
But those chips have one
unfortunate side effect.
**[15:14] Yuzu**
They stick to your fingers.
**[15:16] Kana**
Huh?
**[15:17] Yayoi**
Even if you wash your hands,
it doesn't come off.
**[15:19] Yuzu**
Not for three days.
**[15:22] Kana**
*Oh, dang!*
**[15:24] Mako**
*Phew! I'm in the clear.*
**[15:26] Mako**
* Perfect timing, too. It won't seem weird*
* if I say I didn't see the message on her nails.*
**[15:31] Mako**
*But Kana-chan is one tough opponent.*
**[15:33] Mako**
* At this point, I might have*
* to play my trump card.*
**[15:37] Mako**
Sorry! I think I forgot to do something.
**[15:39] Yayoi**
Okay. See you later.
**[15:42] Misao**
By the way, where's Hina?
**[15:44] Miyu**
No idea. Probably out
selling natto somewhere.
**[15:47] Yomogi**
It really doesn't come off.
**[15:49] Yayoi**
Last time, I got it all around my mouth,
and it looked like I grew a beard!
**[15:54] Yuina**
Oh, everyone's here. What's going on?
**[15:57] Miyu**
Ready to get inked up all shiny black?
**[15:59] Mone**
All of a sudden? No way.
**[16:01] Misao**
It's black, but you won't shine.
**[16:12] Everyone**
What is that?
**[16:17] Yomogi**
It's getting closer!
**[16:18] Yayoi**
Is it looking for food?
**[16:20] Yuzu**
Are we gonna be its dinner?
**[16:22] Misao**
Quit tryin' to freak me out!
**[16:24] Mone**
Is this one of those piñata things?
**[16:27] Yuzu**
Oh. Like the dolls with
candy and stuff inside?
**[16:30] Yuzu**
And when you break them, it all comes out?
**[16:32] Miyu**
Kind of a horse-shaped confetti ball?
**[16:35] Yuina**
Looks about right. They come
in all shapes and sizes.
**[16:39] Chihori**
Huh. Like a coming-of-age ceremony on Mars.
**[16:46] Mako**
*Yes, that's right. This is a piñata.*
**[16:48] Mako**
*And it's stuffed full of birthday cards.*
***SIGN*** Happy Birthday
**[16:53] Mako**
* When it breaks and the*
* cards all spill out with me,*
**[16:57] Mako**
*everyone should realize it's my birthday.*
**[17:00] Mako**
* I'm glad I made it as a last resort,*
* but I never thought I'd be forced to use it.*
**[17:05] Yomogi**
So we have to break it?
**[17:07] Miyu**
Misao, use those trademark
iron fists of yours!
**[17:10] Misao**
Don't make it sound like
violence is my gimmick!
**[17:19] All**
What is it this time?
**[17:23] Miyu**
Another one of those piñatas?
**[17:26] Yuzu**
I think so, but...
**[17:28] Yomogi**
I don't know. It looks like it's made
for something other than celebration.
**[17:33] Mako**
*Could that be Kana-chan?*
**[17:37] Kana**
*Another miscalculation!*
**[17:38] Kana**
* I never thought I'd come up with*
* the same bit as Mako-chan.*
**[17:42] Miyu**
What's happening?
**[17:45] Mone**
Oh, I get it. It's *The Great Space Battle*.
**[17:48] Yuina**
*The Great Space Battle*?
**[17:51] Mone**
The holy grail of sci-fi movies.
**[17:53] Mone**
A horse-shaped monster battles
the giant life form known
**[17:57] Mone**
as the Star Fairy to determine
the fate of the universe.
**[18:00] Mone**
I bet they're trying to
reenact a scene from that.
**[18:04] Kana**
*No, we aren't!*
**[18:05] Misao**
Huh. This is gonna be good.
Show us what you got!
**[18:09] Mako**
*Quit telling us what to do!*
**[18:11] Kana**
*But this might work.*
**[18:13] Kana**
* It doesn't look like anyone is gonna*
* bust us open. But if we fight...*
**[18:18] Mako**
* If I smash into Kana-chan and break*
* open before she does, I win!*
**[18:22] Mako**
*All right. Let's have at it!*
**[18:35] Mako**
*The shell is too tough!*
**[18:37] Kana**
*It just isn't breaking! I'm so tired.*
**[18:42] Yomogi**
How long are they gonna do this?
**[18:44] Misao**
Wait a minute. Isn't this...
**[18:48] Misao**
The one and only Horngry Donut?!
**[18:51] Yomogi**
I never thought the famous
monster would show up here.
**[18:54] Miyu**
Thank goodness.
**[18:55] Misao**
For what?
**[18:58] Miyu**
Oh, Hina. You got here at the right time.
**[19:02] Miyu**
Wh-What's wrong, Hina?
**[19:04] Hina**
Hey. I got the balloons.
**[19:06] Miyu**
Balloons?
**[19:07] Hina**
You didn't check Waratter?
**[19:10] Kana**
That's balloon harassment!
**[19:12] Mako**
You can't say things like
that to get attention!
**[19:14] Hina**
Huh?
**[19:15] Hina**
What's wrong with wanting people to
celebrate your happy occasion?
**[19:20] Mako & Kana**
*She isn't wrong.*
**[19:21] Misao**
What? Wait a minute.
**[19:22] Misao**
Your birthday isn't today, is it, Hina?
**[19:25] Miyu**
Yeah! Yeah! We'd never forget
our friend's birthday.
**[19:29] Hina**
Not me. Today is Akudare Kingdom's birthday.
**[19:32] Hina**
It's our one-year anniversary.
**[19:34] Miyu**
Huh?
**[19:35] Hina**
I didn't think anyone would be
interested in jokes about Ibaraki.
**[19:39] Hina**
I actually thought Akudare
would have split up by now.
**[19:43] Hina**
But we did our best and
made it through the year.
**[19:46] Hina**
So I really wanted to celebrate
our one-year anniversary.
**[19:53] Hina**
Both of you forgot that
today's the anniversary!
**[19:56] Hina**
Even after I started an official Waratter
account just to make you remember.
***SIGN*** Using Waratter since August 10
***SIGN*** Edit Profile
***SIGN*** Akudare Kingdom (Official)
***SIGN*** Takako-so Rm. 204
**[19:59] Hina**
Even then, you didn't notice! You blockheads!
**[20:03] Misao**
Then you should have just told us!
**[20:06] Hina**
And look like I was the only one
who cared? It'd be embarrassing!
**[20:11] Hina**
What kind of person can't
remember special days?
**[20:13] Miyu**
I *do* remember!
**[20:16] Miyu**
Yesterday was Suzuki-sensei's birthday,
**[20:18] Miyu**
tomorrow is Kato-sensei's birthday,
**[20:21] Miyu**
and the day after tomorrow is Ibaraki natto
craftsman Macaronita-sensei's birthday!
**[20:25] Miyu**
In Ibaraki, every day is a special day!
**[20:28] Misao**
That doesn't make any sense.
**[20:30] Misao**
That's enough.
**[20:31] All three**
Thank you very much!
**[20:35] Yomogi**
What's that?
**[20:37] Saeka**
Hi, everybody.
**[20:38] Saeka**
It's all ready!
**[20:40] Mako**
Huh? What is?
***SIGN*** Mako & Kana
Happy Birthday!
***SIGN*** Akudare Kingdom too!!
**[20:49] Iroha**
Here's our present for you.
**[20:51] Chitose**
We spent a whole day practicing at Yomogi's
place and then made this ourselves.
**[20:55] Chitose**
Eat as much as you want!
**[20:56] Kana**
Wow! Thanks!
**[20:58] Chitose**
Hey, I'm glad things were
okay with your dad.
**[21:01] Kana**
Yeah. He got this idea to make
his middle-aged idol debut
**[21:05] Kana**
and was just out auditioning.
**[21:07] Iroha**
Exactly how I'd imagine your dad, Kana.
***SIGN*** Ramen
***SIGN*** T
A
I
W
A
N
***SIGN*** Ramen
***SIGN*** Brazilian
**[21:10] Saeka**
I brought the best Taiwan Ramen
chef on the East China Sea.
***SIGN*** Ramen
***SIGN*** T
A
I
W
A
N
***SIGN*** Ramen
***SIGN*** Brazilian
**[21:15] Saeka**
Eat as much as you like.
**[21:17] Mako**
Thank you!
**[21:19] Hikari**
I brought a bunch of my family's
candy, too. All-you-can-eat for today.
**[21:22] Mako**
Thank you too, Hikari!
**[21:24] Mako**
Good friends really are all you need!
**[21:27] Saeka**
By the way, Mako, we heard from the
others that you were quite persistent
**[21:31] Saeka**
in trying to get attention
regarding your birthday.
**[21:34] Mako**
Gulp!
**[21:35] Hikari**
Even after we warned you last year.
**[21:37] Chitose**
Kana, so were you.
**[21:39] Kana**
But! But! I didn't say the word "birthday"!
**[21:42] Mako**
Right! Right! We carefully avoided
using the word. Both of us.
**[21:48] Mako & Kana**
Right?
**[21:49] Iroha**
Avoiding one word doesn't make it okay!
**[21:51] Iroha**
What shall we do about this?
**[21:53] Chitose**
Dotonbori for the both of them?
***SIGN*** Mako & Kana
Happy Birthday!
***SIGN*** Akudare Kingdom too!!
**[21:56] Saeka**
Oh, what a lovely idea.
**[21:58] Mako & Kana**
F-F-Forgive us!
**[22:05] [SONG] Lead**
Go! We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
**[22:09] [SONG] back**
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
**[22:16] [SONG] lead**
Hi! Hi! Hello! Let's get
on with the show today.
**[22:19] [SONG] lead**
We've just got four minutes, but we
hope you hear everything that we say.
**[22:22] [SONG] back**
Hey there cutie, hey there cutie,
didn't even miss a beat there, cutie.
**[22:24] [SONG] lead**
We hope you enjoy the show today.
**[22:27] [SONG] lead**
Here at home with you, in your living room,
we'll put a twinkle into your eyes.
**[22:33] [SONG] lead**
We've all dreamed to see if we could be
on a stage so free. Now it's a reality!
**[22:42] [SONG] lead**
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
**[22:45] [SONG] lead**
It's all good when we're laughing together.
**[22:48] [SONG] lead**
If we bomb, slip, even if we cry,
so what! That's still part of our destiny.
**[22:53] [SONG] lead**
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
**[22:56] [SONG] lead**
We'll hit it big if we
keep laughing together.
**[22:59] [SONG] lead**
We never knew that life
could ever be like this,
**[23:02] [SONG] lead**
and now that we're going, you know
there's no way we'll ever stop!
**[23:05] [SONG] lead**
We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
**[23:09] [SONG] back**
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
**[23:10] [SONG] lead**
All of our searching, all of our
training is fading out into the past.
**[23:16] [SONG] lead**
But to us now, those memories
will always be so precious.
**[23:22] [SONG] lead**
All of the tears, all of the pain,
rewriting life with our own words.
**[23:27] [SONG] lead**
We want to laugh it all away with you,
right up to the end. And that's a wrap!
***SIGN*** The Cattle Chapter
# E11 - The Boss Battle Chapter
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GD9UVJ95N/the-boss-battle-chapter)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:04] All three**
Hello!
**[00:05] Yayoi**
I'm Yayoi.
**[00:06] Yomogi**
I'm Yomogi.
**[00:08] Yuzu**
I'm Yuzu.
**[00:09] Yuzu**
Y!
**[00:09] Yayoi**
Y!
**[00:10] Yomogi**
Y!
**[00:10] All three**
We're Young Wai-Wai!
**[00:12] Yayoi**
Time sure flies, doesn't it?
**[00:14] Yomogi**
For sure!
**[00:16] Yayoi**
It feels like the dinosaurs
went extinct just yesterday.
**[00:18] Yomogi**
Your memory goes back to
the Cretaceous Period?!
**[00:21] Yomogi**
What kind of dinosaur are you, anyway?
**[00:23] Yuzu**
Some people believe the dinosaurs moved
underground and didn't go extinct.
**[00:27] Yuzu**
You shouldn't jump to conclusions.
**[00:28] Yuzu**
What's with the disclaimer there?
**[00:30] Yuzu**
You think we'll get complaints from
the underground theory believers?
**[00:34] Yuzu**
But speaking of time, how about Takako-so?
**[00:37] Yuzu**
Our time there has gone by in a flash.
**[00:39] Yayoi**
So much has happened!
**[00:42] [SONG] all**
Yeah!
**[00:42] [SONG] Yomogi**
So, what's comedy?
**[00:43] [SONG] Yayoi**
Yo!
**[00:44] [SONG] Yuzu**
Tough question, for me
**[00:45] [SONG] Yayoi**
What could it be?
It's too far out to see!
**[00:46] [SONG] Yuzu & Yomogi**
Be! See!
**[00:47] [SONG] Yomogi**
Boke and tsukkomi, in the zone
**[00:47] [SONG] Yayoi**
Ye ye, in the zone!
**[00:49] [SONG] Yuzu**
We got god-tier jokes on the horizon
**[00:49] [SONG] Yayoi & Yomogi**
God! Horizon!
**[00:51] [SONG] Kana**
Wanna see us split into bunshin
**[00:51] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Yeah!
**[00:52] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Bullets!
**[00:52] [SONG] Kana**
And hear gags flying at you like bullets?
**[00:54] [SONG] Kana**
Leave it to comedy ninjas!
**[00:55] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose**
Nin-nin!
**[00:55] [SONG] Saeka**
High society, celebrity
**[00:55] [SONG] Hikari & Mako**
High! Celebrity!
**[00:57] [SONG] Saeka**
The cleanest jokes are our priority
**[00:58] [SONG] Hikari & Mako**
Priority!
**[01:00] [SONG] Miyu**
Yeah, Akudare, making you all laugh
**[01:00] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Yeah!
**[01:01] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Ah! Ah!
**[01:02] [SONG] Miyu**
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back
**[01:02] [SONG] Hina & Misao**
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back!
**[01:04] [SONG] Yuina**
We. Are. The. Invaders. Yo.
**[01:05] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
Ah Invaders
**[01:06] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
That should tell you all you need to know
**[01:07] [SONG] Chihori & Mone**
Need to know!
**[01:08] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Yeah!
**[01:08] [SONG] Yuzu**
Shake it up, Wai-Wai!
**[01:08] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Wai-Wai!
**[01:09] [SONG] Yomogi**
Heat up the timeline!
**[01:10] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Timeline!
**[01:10] [SONG] Yayoi**
Scramble for the win,
we won't give up our pride
**[01:12] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Pride!
**[01:13] [SONG] Yomogi**
Found a new line
**[01:13] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Oh!
**[01:13] [SONG] Yuzu**
Gonna sweep the prime time
**[01:15] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Oh!
**[01:15] [SONG] Yayoi**
Who's on top then?
**[01:16] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai**
Gotta take the Teppen!
**[01:16] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina**
Take it to the top
**[01:18] [SONG] all call**
Doin' it for real!
**[01:19] [SONG] Kana; Saeka**
We'll show you, giving everything
we got, oh yeah
**[01:20] [SONG] all call**
Oh yeah
**[01:21] [SONG] Miyu; Yuina**
Gonna face the challenge head-on
**[01:21] [SONG] all call**
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
**[01:23] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina**
Running straight ahead
**[01:23] [SONG] all call**
Yo! Yo! Yo!
**[01:25] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai**
Take it to the top
**[01:25] [SONG] all call**
Yeah that's right!
**[01:27] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai**
It's show
**[01:28] [SONG] Yomogi**
Don't slow down to hear them
call you funny, not a day
**[01:30] [SONG] Yuzu**
You'll never reach the top that way
**[01:30] [SONG] all call**
Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh yeah!
**[01:32] [SONG] Yayoi**
You know it's true, what we say
**[01:34] [SONG] all call**
Hey!
**[01:35] [SONG] all sing**
But this isn't about us just getting a laugh
**[01:38] [SONG] all call**
Yeah! Yeah!
**[01:41] [SONG] all sing**
That's not why we're here
It's much bigger, bigger than all that
**[01:44] [SONG] all call**
All that
**[01:45] [SONG] all sing**
We want to get
**[01:45] [SONG] all call**
We want to get, yeah!
**[01:48] [SONG] all sing**
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
**[01:48] [SONG] all call**
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
**[01:53] [SONG] all sing**
Yeah if we are the ones
that are making you laugh
**[01:53] [SONG] all call**
Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye!
**[01:58] [SONG] all sing**
We gotta go so hard it'll really,
really give us that, you know?
**[02:02] [SONG] all sing**
Top of the laugh
**[02:02] [SONG] all call**
Top of the laugh Ye~ah!
**[02:05] [SONG] all sing**
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way.
We're gonna make it to the top one day!
**[02:05] [SONG] all call**
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way,
oh! We're gonna make it to the top one day!
**[02:10] [SONG] Yayoi**
Aw yeah!
***SIGN*** The Boss Battle Chapter
**[02:16] Seiji**
Only three days remain in the last
Teppen Grand Prix qualifying round.
**[02:19] Seiji**
It's about time you show
us what you're made of...
**[02:24] Seiji**
in the final test!
**[02:26] Yomogi**
The final test.
**[02:27] Yuzu**
That's right. At the start,
**[02:30] Yuzu**
he said the final qualifier would be to
keep living at Takako-so until the end.
**[02:34] Yayoi**
Huh? Does that mean...?
**[02:40] Seiji**
You look like you're starting
to take this seriously.
**[02:42] Seiji**
But determination alone won't
get you to the main event.
**[02:45] Seiji**
The Teppen Grand Prix isn't that easy!
**[02:48] Yayoi**
Just watch! We'll beat whatever
test you throw at us!
**[02:52] Seiji**
Heh. Well then,
**[02:53] Seiji**
let's see if you can stay put inside
the dorm for the next three days.
**[02:58] Seiji**
I'll be watching closely.
**[03:03] Macho men**
Macho! Macho! Macho! Macho!
**[03:06] Macho men**
Macho! Macho! Macho! Macho!
**[03:08] Macho men**
Macho! Macho! Macho! Macho!
**[03:11] Macho men**
Macho! Macho! Macho! Macho!
**[03:14] Macho men**
Macho! Macho!
**[03:16] Macho men**
Ooh, muscle!
**[03:18] Macho men**
Muscle! Muscle!
**[03:19] Seiji**
Well?
**[03:21] Seiji**
How long can you take the heat in here?
**[03:24] Yayoi**
The temperature and the air are so steamy
with machismo I feel like I'm gonna melt!
**[03:29] Yuzu**
I don't want to be here one second!
**[03:31] Yomogi**
Is this why he thought staying
put would be a challenge?
**[03:34] Mone**
Oh, come on! The A/C isn't working!
**[03:37] Seiji**
The A/C was timed to turn off right now.
**[03:40] Seiji**
I set it up that way...
**[03:42] Seiji**
in the first episode!
**[03:43] Kana**
What?
**[03:45] Kana**
You mean that was foreshadowing all along?
**[03:48] Hina**
But that doesn't make sense.
**[03:49] Hina**
Takako-so was completely destroyed.
**[03:51] Seiji**
Don't be so nitpicky!
**[03:53] Seiji**
Be more macho! More macho!
**[03:55] Misao**
Don't change the subject!
**[03:56] Seiji**
Anyway, between now and the
morning three days from now,
**[03:59] Seiji**
if you take one step outside of
Takako-so, you'll be disqualified.
**[04:02] Mako**
It's so hot!
**[04:03] Hikari**
Three days like this, and we'll die.
**[04:06] Yomogi**
There must be something
we can do! Something!
**[04:08] Macho men**
Muscle! Muscle!
**[04:10] Yuzu**
That's it! I get it now!
**[04:12] Yayoi**
Yuzu, you figured it out?
**[04:14] Yuzu**
There's an old proverb from
the ancient comedy world:
**[04:17] Yuzu**
"Thou shalt eat the hot
oden whilst it is hot."
**[04:19] Chitose**
Is that really an old proverb?
**[04:21] Yuzu**
The point is, the heat is coming
from the steaming hot oden.
**[04:25] Yuzu**
So we should eat it!
**[04:26] Saeka**
With the oden gone,
the temperature will drop,
**[04:29] Saeka**
and macho men can't survive in cold places.
**[04:32] Saeka**
Is that what you mean?
**[04:33] Iroha**
That's gotta be it.
**[04:34] Iroha**
Macho men don't have enough
body fat to stand the cold!
**[04:38] Mako**
In that case...
**[04:39] Kana**
It's our move!
**[04:41] Miyu**
Leave the eating to me!
**[04:43] Mako**
I call the tofu fritter!
**[04:45] Mako**
You're mine!
**[04:47] Seiji**
Muscle turbo!
**[04:49] Seiji**
On!
**[04:50] Mako**
What?!
**[04:51] Miyu**
The pot dodged?!
**[04:52] Macho men**
Muscle! Muscle! Muscle! Muscle!
**[04:57] Kana**
We can't grab anything with
them squatting that fast!
**[05:01] Seiji**
You went after the oden, I'll give you that.
**[05:04] Seiji**
But don't think you can catch a
macho man's squat that easily!
**[05:09] Yomogi**
What speed! But what kind
of test is this anyway?
**[05:13] Kana**
Now I'll never get any oden!
**[05:15] Chitose**
Is there any another way?
**[05:16] Chitose**
Some way to stop the macho men?
**[05:18] Iroha**
That's it! We can use those!
**[05:20] Chitose**
Huh?
***SIGN*** Miss Donut
**[05:23] Mone**
The donuts Saeka brought to share!
**[05:26] Iroha**
Donuts are basically
high-calorie clumps of oil!
**[05:28] Iroha**
Eat this!
**[05:37] Macho man**
My PFC ratio is falling apart!
***SIGN*** Protein
***SIGN*** Fat
***SIGN*** Carbohydrates
**[05:42] Yayoi**
They stopped moving!
**[05:43] Yomogi**
Why...?
**[05:44] Iroha**
They struggle every day to
maintain an ideal PFC ratio.
**[05:48] Iroha**
No macho man can face the
terror of having that ruined.
**[05:51] Chitose**
Macho life is too weird!
**[05:53] Yomogi**
Now's our chance!
**[05:54] Miyu**
It's mine!
**[05:55] Mako**
Chesuto!
**[05:55] Miyu**
Whoa!
**[05:55] Yomogi**
Get 'em!
**[05:56] Miyu**
Ouch!
**[05:58] Mako**
Huff, huff, huff...
**[05:59] Yuina**
Let's all work together!
**[06:01] Chihori**
Yeah! Compared to a solar prominence,
hot oden is nothing!
**[06:05] Saeka**
Let's combine our strength and eat it up!
**[06:08] Yuina**
It's still hot!
**[06:10] Hina**
Oh. I hate konjac. Here, Miyu.
**[06:12] Miyu**
Ouch! Don't stick hot konjac
on my face! I'll die!
**[06:20] Yuzu**
I'm exhausted.
**[06:22] Mone**
Ugh... I'm stuffed.
**[06:26] Yuina**
It's getting pretty late.
**[06:27] Yuina**
Let's go to bed so we're ready for tomorrow.
**[06:32] Misao**
What's that noise?
**[06:34] Chitose**
Who's playing upbeat
music when we're all so tired?!
**[06:55] Hikari**
Could you sleep?
**[06:56] Miyu**
No way. Not a wink.
**[06:59] Miyu**
They were dancing right next to me.
**[07:02] Hikari**
I hear that.
**[07:03] Yuina**
Are these people ever going to stop dancing?
**[07:07] Kana**
Why don't we ask them to leave?
**[07:09] Chitose**
Would they even listen when
they're having so much fun?
**[07:14] Yuzu**
Are those...
**[07:16] Yuzu**
clothespins?
**[07:18] Yuzu**
If we pull those clothespins,
we might be able to move them.
**[07:21] Mako**
Oh, yeah! So that's what they're for!
**[07:24] Misao**
What the heck? They aren't moving at all.
**[07:27] Yomogi**
They won't even budge!
**[07:30] Seiji**
It won't work.
**[07:31] Seiji**
You'd need superhuman strength to
make trained samba dancers move.
**[07:35] Mone**
Seiji-san, were you drumming all night?
**[07:38] Yuzu**
There's an old proverb from
the ancient comedy world:
**[07:42] Yuzu**
"Thou shalt clip clothespins to thy face."
***SIGN*** Yuzu-neesan's...
***SIGN*** ...Declaration
**[07:45] Misao**
Where are you getting these proverbs?!
**[07:47] Yuzu**
If we clip the clothespins to our faces,
we might be able to pull the dancers!
**[07:51] Misao**
And how does that make any sense?!
**[07:52] Kana**
It probably increases sur*face* force.
**[07:55] Misao**
What the heck is "sur*face* force"?!
**[07:56] Hikari**
If there's no other way,
we'll just have to try it.
**[08:00] Saeka**
But we'll need to choose who will endure
the humiliation of a clothespin face.
**[08:05] Mako**
Shouldn't it be the girls with the
faces most suited to clothespins?
**[08:09] Mako**
Why me?!
**[08:10] Saeka**
Do your best, Mako.
**[08:10] Chihori**
Ow, ow, ow!
**[08:13] Chihori**
It hurts!
**[08:14] Chihori**
It hurts as much as when I got
hit by a meteorite on Mars!
**[08:18] Yuina**
W-We're counting on you, Chihori.
**[08:20] Hina**
It suits you, Miyu.
**[08:22] Miyu**
I don't wanna hear it!
**[08:23] Kana**
Iroha-senpai, doesn't it hurt?
**[08:25] Iroha**
I thought it might come to this,
so I've been exercising my face.
**[08:28] Iroha**
I'm fine.
**[08:29] Mako**
All right, then. One, two...
**[08:32] Mako; Chihori; Miyu; Iroha**
Heave-ho! Heave-ho! Heave-ho!
**[08:34] Yayoi**
Ah! They moved a little!
**[08:36] Mako**
My skin! It's tearing off my skin!
**[08:38] Saeka**
I'll replenish your skin!
Replace it, even!
**[08:41] Saeka**
Keep going!
**[08:42] All**
Heave-ho! Heave-ho!
**[08:51] Yayoi**
That was crazy, guys.
***SIGN*** Felt like my face was getting destroyed
**[08:54] Yayoi**
Mm-hmm.
**[08:56] Yuzu**
We now know where this is leading.
**[08:58] Yomogi**
Yeah. When they try to force us out,
we have to counter with comedy.
**[09:05] Yayoi**
Now that we know how to play, we can't lose.
**[09:08] Yayoi**
When did Seiji-san leave?
**[09:14] Mone**
W-We're under attack?!
**[09:19] Yuina**
They have darts and blowguns!
**[09:21] Yomogi**
Hey, that's dangerous!
You could've hit someone!
**[09:26] Yuzu**
Yomogi!
**[09:27] Yayoi**
Don't die on us!
**[09:28] Chitose**
There's no way she'd die from that.
**[09:30] Mone**
I bet it's mega painful, though.
**[09:34] Hikari**
Can we take cover somewhere?
**[09:36] Hikari**
Huh?
**[09:37] Hikari**
Where did that thing come from?
**[09:40] Kana**
Perfect timing, though!
**[09:42] Kana**
Darts can't fly through a bath.
**[09:44] Chitose**
Stop, Kana!
**[09:45] Chitose**
If this is like the others, that's...!
**[09:48] Kana**
Huh?
**[09:49] Kana**
Aaahoowww!
**[09:51] Chitose**
Super-hot water. I knew it.
**[09:53] Mako**
Hey! We can't get in water that hot!
**[09:56] Yuzu**
No! If it's that hot, then we *must* get in it!
**[09:59] Hina**
Say what?
**[10:01] Yuzu**
There's an old proverb from
the ancient comedy world:
**[10:05] Yuzu**
"Don't push me. Don't push me. Okay, push!"
**[10:08] Yuzu**
Jumping into a super-hot
bath is a comedy standard.
**[10:13] Hina**
A comedy standard?
**[10:17] Misao**
So we either get shot by darts
or jump in hot water?
**[10:20] Miyu**
Okay, then!
**[10:23] Miyu**
I'll go in at my own pace.
**[10:26] Miyu**
Don't push me. Don't push me.
**[10:28] Miyu**
Don't *push* me. Don't push *me*!
**[10:33] Miyu**
Okay, push!
**[10:34] Miyu**
Aaah! It's so hot!
**[10:36] Misao**
M-Miyu!
**[10:37] Misao**
We gotta follow Miyu in!
**[10:39] Misao**
Jump in the water!
**[10:42] Yayoi**
O-Okay!
**[10:43] Yuzu**
Ah! It's hot!
**[10:45] Yuina**
Chihori, the darts!
**[10:45] Chihori**
Aah! One stuck me!
**[10:48] Seiji**
Sounds like they're doing pretty well.
**[10:50] Seiji**
But we're just getting started.
***SIGN*** Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
**[11:02] Kana**
Nobody's out there.
**[11:03] Mako**
Yeah. Is the test over already?
**[11:05] Yuzu**
I don't think so.
**[11:07] Yuzu**
The deadline is tomorrow morning.
**[11:09] Yuzu**
Anything could happen before then!
**[11:12] Miyu**
But we're ready for whatever
they throw at us now.
**[11:17] Police (Seiji)**
To the suspects barricaded
inside Takako-so:
**[11:20] Police (Seiji)**
Release the hostages and
surrender immediately!
**[11:23] Chitose**
What does he mean "suspects"?
**[11:24] Chitose**
We don't have any hostages!
**[11:26] Police (Seiji)**
Immediately release the smoked chicken
tenders that Seiji so lovingly prepared!
**[11:31] Yomogi**
The chicken tenders are our hostages?!
**[11:33] Police (Seiji)**
We're the Muscle Police!
You must follow our orders.
**[11:36] Misao**
They ain't even real cops!
**[11:38] Yayoi**
Does that mean this is part of the test?
**[11:41] Yuzu**
It seems like it.
**[11:43] Police (Seiji)**
Your criminal activities are
making your parents suffer!
**[11:47] Hikari's mom**
Hikari? You're in there, right?
**[11:48] Hikari**
Huh?! Mom?!
**[11:50] Hikari's mom**
I heard you were involved in a crime.
**[11:53] Hikari's mom**
That makes me so sad!
**[11:55] Mako**
What a cheap move, to bring her mom into it!
**[11:57] Hikari's mom**
You've never been the type to cause trouble.
**[12:00] Hikari's mom**
You've always been such
a good, gentle child!
**[12:03] Hikari**
Mom...
**[12:03] Mako**
Huh?!
**[12:04] Hikari**
Mom!
**[12:07] Hikari's mom**
I want you to remember who you are,
**[12:09] Hikari's mom**
so I'm going to read the grade
school essay you wrote.
**[12:13] Hikari**
Huh?
**[12:14] Hikari's mom**
"When I Grow Up," by Jogasaki Hikari,
Grade Six, Class One.
**[12:18] Hikari's mom**
"Everybody calls me Princess Hikari.
**[12:22] Hikari's mom**
I think it's because I give off
a super-strong princess vibe.
**[12:27] Hikari's mom**
This little princess's mom and
dad own a sweets company."
**[12:32] Iroha**
This is horrible. How embarrassing.
**[12:35] Chitose**
It's pure hell.
**[12:36] Hikari**
I'll make her stop.
**[12:37] Saeka**
You can't, Hikari!
**[12:38] Yuzu**
She's right! That's exactly
what they want you to do!
**[12:41] Yuzu**
These tests are all based
on variety TV show gags.
**[12:44] Yayoi**
Variety show gags?
**[12:46] Yuzu**
Yeah.
**[12:46] Yuzu**
Since ancient times, it's been
common on variety shows
**[12:48] Yuzu**
to have the guest comedians' parents
make a surprise appearance.
**[12:51] Yuzu**
If the guests get angry about it,
they're never invited to the show again.
**[12:56] Yomogi**
So no matter how embarrassing
our parents are,
**[12:59] Yomogi**
it's important to keep reacting
without *actually* getting angry?
**[13:03] Yuzu**
Probably.
**[13:04] Kana's mom**
Kana, can you hear me?
**[13:05] Kana**
Ma?
**[13:06] Chitose**
Wha—Next up is Kana's ma?
**[13:08] Kana**
Oh, don't say any weird stuff about me, Ma.
**[13:11] Kana**
Like the essay I wrote about becoming
the world's number one idol,
**[13:15] Kana**
or about becoming the god of Naniwa.
**[13:17] Kana**
That stuff is so embarrassing!
Please don't say anything!
**[13:20] Iroha**
You've already said it all.
**[13:22] Kana's mom**
Actually... Kana...
**[13:24] Kana's mom**
Pa left me again.
**[13:28] Kana's mom**
I really wonder if it's all my fault.
**[13:32] Kana's mom**
Or has he found someone else?
**[13:35] Iroha**
Don't, Kana!
**[13:36] Kana**
Let me go! Let me go!
***SIGN*** Go with the "Dad left me" routine
**[13:39] Kana**
I need to go give Ma a big hug!
**[13:42] Chitose**
I know how you feel, but you can't!
**[13:42] Kana**
Ma! Wait for me! I'm coming! Let me go!
**[13:43] Chitose**
He isn't actually gone anyway!
**[13:45] Chitose**
Maybe!
**[13:46] Saeka**
This is unexpected.
**[13:48] Saeka**
I didn't think they would resort
to psychological warfare.
**[13:50] Miyu**
Pretty tough enemy, huh?
**[13:52] Miyu**
Ah!
**[13:56] Yuzu**
What is it this time?
**[13:57] Miyu**
It's gotta be...
**[13:59] Miyu**
This... It's gotta be!
**[14:01] Miyu**
It's the *Mito Komon Neo* theme song!
**[14:03] Komon**
*To the villains tormenting the townsfolk:*
**[14:05] Komon**
*I can no longer ignore your evil deeds!*
**[14:08] Miyu**
Th-That voice is...
**[14:09] Komon**
* Do you not recognize the*
* Shogun's family crest?*
**[14:11] Miyu**
It's g-g-g-g-gotta be!
**[14:14] Miyu**
Komon-sama's voice!
**[14:15] Miyu**
They're filming *Mito Komon Neo*
outside right now!
**[14:19] Misao**
Don't go, Miyu! It's a trap!
**[14:21] Miyu**
Trap or not, it's Mito Komon, in the raw!
**[14:24] Miyu**
A once-in-a-lifetime chance!
**[14:26] Miyu**
Gimme the raw Mito Komon!
**[14:27] Miyu**
Show me the raw Mito Komon!
**[14:30] Hina**
Stop saying "raw Mito Komon."
**[14:31] Miyu**
Let me go! You gotta let me go!
***SIGN*** Mito Komon Neo & Space Wars
**[14:37] Yuina**
What's that sound?
**[14:38] Mone**
It sounds like a light saber!
**[14:39] Knight**
*Believe in the force of the Power!*
**[14:41] Mone**
Aah! He said the thing!
**[14:42] Mone**
It's gotta be!
**[14:43] Mone**
They're filming a Space Wars movie outside!
**[14:47] Yuina**
You still can't go, Mone!
**[14:49] Mone**
I wanna watch! I wanna watch! Let me go!
**[14:52] Chihori**
It's probably a trap! I'm sure it's a trap!
**[14:55] Komon**
*What an unusual glowing sword.*
**[14:57] Komon**
*Suke-san and Kaku-san aren't here right now,*
**[14:59] Komon**
*so why don't you and I join forces?*
**[15:02] Knight**
* Very well. May you also*
* be guided by the Power.*
**[15:07] Mone**
It's a crossover!
**[15:09] Mone**
It's a Space Wars and
*Mito Komon Neo* crossover!
**[15:12] Miyu**
Komon-sama leaves Mito
and flies into space?!
**[15:16] Miyu; Mone**
I can't live without seeing this!
**[15:19] Yayoi**
Don't go!
**[15:25] Yayoi**
I won't let you pass!
**[15:26] Miyu**
Ouch! Move it, Yayoi!
**[15:28] Miyu**
The raw Mito Komon is right out there!
**[15:31] Mone**
Space is expanding!
**[15:33] Yayoi**
I won't let you! If you go outside,
you can't go to the Teppen!
**[15:37] Mone**
That's none of your business!
**[15:39] Yayoi**
It is too! You're my friends!
**[15:41] Yayoi**
I want all of us to go to
the main event together!
**[15:46] Yomogi**
Yayoi...
**[15:47] Yayoi**
I don't want anyone left out.
**[15:50] Yayoi**
Let's all stand on that stage together!
**[15:53] Miyu**
You're right. Our futures are on the line.
**[15:57] Mone**
Sorry, Yayoi-chan. I just...
**[16:00] Yayoi**
Hey, it's fine. Let's all
eat and take a break.
**[16:04] Mone**
You can have my space rations.
**[16:06] Yayoi**
Really? Thanks!
**[16:08] Yuzu**
Even if we get invited to work on
our favorite shows and movies,
**[16:11] Yuzu**
we can't can't neglect our
main work as comedians.
**[16:14] Yuzu**
I'm sure this test was made
to teach us that lesson.
**[16:18] Yomogi**
Is all this really necessary to
determine Grand Prix participation?
**[16:25] Kana**
We got some kind of a delivery.
**[16:28] Chitose**
What are those?
**[16:30] Hina**
They're VR headsets.
**[16:32] Misao**
Like the gaming device?
**[16:34] Yuzu**
Variety shows always have gaming segments.
**[16:37] Yuzu**
This might be a test to
see how we handle them.
**[16:40] Yuina**
According to what Seiji-san said,
today's the third day.
**[16:42] Yuina**
If we hold out until morning,
we can go to the main event.
**[16:46] Yayoi**
Just a little longer! Let's make
it to the competition together!
**[16:49] Chitose**
After this, we'll be rivals, though.
**[16:52] Yomogi**
Obviously. Only one team
can make it to the top!
**[16:55] Yuzu**
This must be the last test.
**[16:58] Yuzu**
Stay focused, everyone.
**[17:00] Yayoi**
I'm sure we can clear it
if we all work together!
**[17:03] Yomogi**
Let's give it all we got!
**[17:08] Yayoi**
Wow! Awesome!
**[17:11] Chitose**
It's really like we're inside a game.
**[17:13] Chitose**
VR is awesome.
**[17:16] Yuina**
Hey, look! The cows have wings!
Just like an isekai!
**[17:20] Mone**
Probably hard to milk them, though.
**[17:23] Mako**
But why tracksuits?
**[17:25] Hina**
Everyone wears tracksuits
in isekai. It's a rule.
**[17:28] Villager**
Oh, gee. Are y'all adventurers?
**[17:32] Yomogi**
What crappy graphics!
**[17:34] Yomogi**
He totally sticks out from the background!
**[17:36] Villager**
This here's the perfect village
to start an adventure in.
**[17:40] Villager**
If you need anything,
you should visit the tool shop.
**[17:44] Villager**
Here's 100 gold, so why don'tcha get set up?
**[17:48] Yomogi; Yayoi**
Thank you very much!
**[17:50] Misao**
Such a nice character, too.
Kinda makes it more sad.
**[17:53] Villager**
Ah, there she is. That over
there is my daughter.
**[17:59] Yomogi**
And the daughter's model is high quality?!
**[18:01] Yomogi**
Put some resources into the dad, too!
**[18:03] Villager**
Her name is Lady Meat Wench.
I hope you'll get along.
**[18:07] Chitose**
What a messed-up name!
The devs need a taste overhaul!
**[18:11] Yuina**
Wh-What?
**[18:19] Yomogi**
Something really nasty just spawned.
**[18:21] Mone**
It's the final boss! Look at it!
It's gotta be the final boss!
**[18:25] Mako**
But that's weird! Why would the final
boss appear in the starting village?
**[18:30] Last Boss**
I heard that some brave heroes had arrived.
**[18:33] Last Boss**
I figured I'd smash you to bits before
you had a chance to level up.
**[18:38] Misao**
He's just gonna betray time-honored
final boss conventions and skip ahead?!
**[18:42] Misao**
What a coward!
**[18:44] Last Boss**
The humans have spread too far.
**[18:46] Last Boss**
At this rate, the entire planet will perish.
**[18:49] Chitose**
What's he talking about all of a sudden?
**[18:51] Iroha**
It's typical final boss dialogue.
**[18:54] Last Boss**
There is no time left.
**[18:55] Last Boss**
To save the planet, I must wipe
out the humans. It is decided.
**[18:59] Hina**
What a cliché motive.
Don't you know this is the Reiwa era?
**[19:02] Last Boss**
Silence!
**[19:09] Villager**
No, no, no!
**[19:10] Mako**
Mr. Villager!
**[19:11] Yayoi**
Aah!
**[19:12] Last Boss**
Perish, humans!
**[19:15] Miyu**
I ain't gonna let you win!
**[19:17] Miyu**
Monkfish Stew Fire!
***SIGN*** Monkfish Stew
**[19:20] Monkfish**
Pigyah!
***SIGN*** Monkfish from Oarai
**[19:21] Kana**
Attack! Naniwa Summonster!
***SIGN*** Naniwa Summonster
**[19:23] Naniwa Doll**
How's it hangin', man?
**[19:25] Saeka**
Thank you for your purchase!
**[19:26] Saeka**
Credit Withdrawal Glitter!
**[19:27] Chihori**
The Big Bang Next Door!
***SIGN*** Gold Bullion
***SIGN*** Singularity
**[19:29] Monkfish**
Pigyaaah!
**[19:29] Singularity**
Birth of the universe!
**[19:29] Naniwa Doll**
All good. And you? And you?
**[19:34] Last Boss**
No effect. No effect at all!
**[19:36] Last Boss**
You will never defeat me!
**[19:38] Last Boss**
Your world will fall under my control!
**[19:44] Yayoi**
This way!
**[19:46] Yayoi**
Hurry!
**[19:57] Yomogi**
Yayoi...
**[20:02] Yayoi**
I'll defeat you myself!
**[20:09] Saeka**
Stop! You're going too far!
**[20:11] Yayoi**
I don't care!
**[20:26] Last Boss**
Is that all you got?
**[20:30] Yayoi**
Why, you...
**[20:33] Yayoi**
I'm gonna... I'm gonna...
**[20:37] Yayoi**
Yomogi! Yuzu!
**[20:40] Yuzu**
Let's finish this.
**[20:41] Yomogi**
We will.
**[20:42] Yuzu; Yayoi; Yomogi**
With one attack!
**[20:47] Yomogi**
Take this!
**[20:48] Yuzu**
Death blow!
**[20:49] Yayoi**
Young Wai-Wai!
**[20:50] Last Boss**
I-It can't be!
**[20:52] Last Boss**
Did their delicate bond of friendship
affect the world's code
**[20:55] Last Boss**
and glitch their XP?!
**[20:59] Yuzu; Yayoi; Yomogi**
Slash!
**[21:07] Last Boss**
It can't be... The bugs! Fix the bugs!
**[21:12] Last Boss**
Optimize the... code...
**[21:14] Last Boss**
Apologems...
**[21:17] Cow**
Moo!
**[21:19] Cow**
Moo!
**[21:28] Yayoi**
Yes!
**[21:29] Yomogi**
We succeeded!
**[21:40] All three**
A-Are we...?
**[21:43] Seiji**
There's an old proverb from
the ancient comedy world:
**[21:48] Seiji**
"Thou shalt not lose thyself
in games and quizzes
**[21:53] Seiji**
and forget thy true work."
**[21:56] Seiji**
Young Wai-Wai is...
**[21:58] Seiji**
out!
***SIGN*** Young Wai-Wai
Disqualified
**[22:03] Yayoi**
No way...
**[22:04] [SONG] Lead**
Go! We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
**[22:09] [SONG] back**
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
**[22:16] [SONG] lead**
Hi! Hi! Hello! Let's get
on with the show today.
**[22:19] [SONG] lead**
We've just got four minutes, but we
hope you hear everything that we say.
**[22:22] [SONG] back**
Hey there cutie, hey there cutie,
didn't even miss a beat there, cutie.
**[22:24] [SONG] lead**
We hope you enjoy the show today.
**[22:27] [SONG] lead**
Here at home with you, in your living room,
we'll put a twinkle into your eyes.
**[22:33] [SONG] lead**
We've all dreamed to see if we could be
on a stage so free. Now it's a reality!
**[22:42] [SONG] lead**
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
**[22:45] [SONG] lead**
It's all good when we're laughing together.
**[22:48] [SONG] lead**
If we bomb, slip, even if we cry,
so what! That's still part of our destiny.
**[22:53] [SONG] lead**
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
**[22:56] [SONG] lead**
We'll hit it big if we
keep laughing together.
**[22:59] [SONG] lead**
We never knew that life
could ever be like this,
**[23:02] [SONG] lead**
and now that we're going, you know
there's no way we'll ever stop!
**[23:05] [SONG] lead**
We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
**[23:09] [SONG] back**
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
**[23:10] [SONG] lead**
All of our searching, all of our
training is fading out into the past.
**[23:16] [SONG] lead**
But to us now, those memories
will always be so precious.
**[23:22] [SONG] lead**
All of the tears, all of the pain,
rewriting life with our own words.
**[23:27] [SONG] lead**
We want to laugh it all away with you,
right up to the end. And that's a wrap!
***SIGN*** The Laughter Chapter
# E12 - The Laughter Chapter
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GQJUG1NKE/the-laughter-chapter)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:03] Master Frog**
* The Teppen Grand Prix final*
* qualifier has ended.*
**[00:06] Master Frog**
* It seems one team from*
* Takako-so was eliminated.*
**[00:09] Master Phone**
*Even more should have been washed out.*
**[00:12] Master Phone**
*Why did you go so easy on them?*
**[00:14] Master Kokeshi**
* What's wrong, code name:*
* Muscle? Do you dare defy us?*
**[00:18] Master Frog**
*The comedy world is a battleground,*
**[00:20] Master Frog**
* a path of blood and carnage*
* where the weak fail*
**[00:23] Master Frog**
*and only the funny reach the top!*
**[00:27] Master Barber**
* Either way, if they have true skills, it*
* should be possible to crawl their way up.*
**[00:33] Master Moai**
*Only* if *they have the skills.*
**[00:35] Master Frog**
*Enough talking.*
**[00:37] Master Frog**
* This concludes the Teppen*
* Grand Prix Committee meeting.*
***SIGN*** Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
***SIGN*** Takoyaki
***SIGN*** Takohashi
***SIGN*** The Laughter Chapter
**[00:55] Yayoi**
It's all over.
**[00:57] Yomogi**
Yeah.
**[00:58] Yuzu**
That's true.
**[00:59] Yayoi**
We were kicked out of Takako-so.
**[01:02] Yomogi**
Yeah.
**[01:02] Yuzu**
That's true.
**[01:04] Yayoi**
And our dreams for the Teppen Grand Prix...
**[01:07] Yayoi**
I'm sorry, Yomogi, Yuzu.
**[01:09] Yayoi**
If only I hadn't saved the world!
**[01:13] Yayoi**
If only I hadn't claimed a hero's glory!
**[01:15] Yuzu**
It wasn't your fault, Yayoi!
**[01:17] Yomogi**
She's right! We were up there with you too.
**[01:20] Yomogi**
If only I had stopped you then...
**[01:24] Yomogi**
As Young Wai-Wai's tsukkomi,
I'm an embarrassment.
**[01:27] Yayoi**
Yuzu. Yomogi.
**[01:33] Yayoi**
Let's forget it.
**[01:35] Yayoi**
This isn't like us at all. Let's cheer up.
**[01:38] Yayoi**
Oh, yeah! Since everyone at Takako-so
is going to the main event,
**[01:41] Yayoi**
why don't we form a cheer squad for them?
**[01:44] Yomogi**
That sounds great!
**[01:46] Yomogi**
We'll be so happy if they do well.
**[01:48] Yuzu**
Think of how exciting it'll be if they win!
**[01:51] Yayoi**
Then we'll have to thank them!
**[01:53] Yayoi**
Like, "thanks for the excitement!"
**[01:55] Yomogi**
Yeah, "thanks for the excitement."
**[01:57] Yuzu**
Sure. "Thanks for the excitement."
**[01:59] Yayoi**
Yeah, yeah! Thanks for the...
**[02:03] Yomogi**
I don't know. I just...
**[02:05] Yuzu**
I'm happy to see them succeed, but...
**[02:13] Yomogi**
I just... can't.
**[02:15] Yomogi**
I can't shift gears that fast.
**[02:17] Yomogi**
I really wanted it.
**[02:19] Yomogi**
I really wanted to make people laugh.
**[02:21] Yomogi**
I really wanted to make it to the top.
**[02:25] Yayoi**
It isn't fair! It isn't fair! It isn't fair!
**[02:27] Yayoi**
I wanna be in the main event!
**[02:28] Yayoi**
There's so much more we can do!
**[02:30] Yayoi**
We were gonna be so hilarious!
**[02:32] Yuzu**
I really don't want things to end like this.
**[02:35] Steward**
Is that right, Mistress?
**[02:37] Yuzu**
Steward?
**[02:39] Yayoi**
How'd you get in?
**[02:40] Yayoi**
Wait. How long were you there?
**[02:41] Steward**
From the part when Yayoi-sama said,
**[02:43] Steward**
"It's all over."
**[02:45] Yomogi**
Since the start of the scene?!
**[02:46] Yuzu**
You should have said something.
**[02:48] Steward**
Please accept my apologies.
**[02:49] Steward**
I have a bad habit of blending
into the background.
**[02:52] Steward**
I have watched over
Mistress Yuzu her entire life,
**[02:57] Steward**
so her time away felt
like an eternity to me.
**[03:01] Yuzu**
I had to ask him not to
follow me to Takako-so.
**[03:05] Yomogi**
Is that right?
**[03:06] Yayoi**
But why did you show up now?
**[03:09] Steward**
The Teppen Grand Prix office asked
me to deliver something to you.
**[03:14] Yuzu**
Oh? What is it?
**[03:16] Steward**
It's this.
**[03:17] Yomogi**
A dumbbell?!
**[03:18] Yayoi**
Something's written on it.
**[03:21] Yayoi**
"To the members of Young Wai-Wai.
**[03:23] Yayoi**
You have been entered to compete
in the comeback round."
**[03:27] Yayoi; Yomogi; Yuzu**
The comeback round?!
**[03:28] Seiji**
* It's true that you failed*
* the final qualifier.*
**[03:32] Seiji**
* But that doesn't mean you've*
* completely run out of options.*
**[03:36] Seiji**
* Final qualifiers were held all over the*
* country, with the same rules as Takako-so.*
**[03:40] Seiji**
* All of the disqualified trios are given the*
* right to participate in the comeback round*
**[03:44] Seiji**
* to compete for the last*
* spot in the main event.*
**[03:47] Seiji**
* The comeback round will be held on a special*
* stage in two days, right before the main event.*
***SIGN*** Teppen Grand Prix
**[03:53] Seiji**
*This will be your final chance.*
**[03:57] Seiji**
* If you want to reach the top,*
* grab that one last ticket*
**[04:00] Seiji**
*like your life depends on it!*
**[04:03] Steward**
So only one team will advance.
**[04:06] Steward**
That does sound quite strict.
**[04:08] Yomogi**
Oh, yes!
**[04:09] Yomogi**
We still had a chance!
**[04:11] Yuzu**
We aren't finished with the
Teppen Grand Prix yet!
**[04:15] Yayoi**
We get another chance to perform together!
**[04:18] Yuzu**
We can do more gags together!
The three of us!
**[04:21] Yayoi**
Hurray!
**[04:22] Yomogi**
Praise the gods of comedy!
**[04:25] Yayoi**
A comedy carnival?
**[04:27] Steward**
Yes.
**[04:28] Steward**
It's a small event held on the
roof of a department store.
**[04:31] Steward**
Several of the trios participating in the
comeback round will be appearing there.
**[04:37] Steward**
I suppose they're using it as a final
practice run before the real thing.
**[04:40] Yomogi**
If they're signed up for the comeback round,
that means they're all our rivals.
**[04:44] Yayoi**
I wonder what they're like.
***SIGN*** Comedy Carnival!!!
**[04:45] Yuzu**
So do I.
**[04:47] Steward**
I expected you to say that.
***SIGN*** Comedy Carnival!
**[04:53] Yayoi**
Too bad. I wish we could have performed, too.
**[04:56] Yuzu**
Oh, well. The deadline for
registering was yesterday.
**[05:00] Hitoe**
Oh, nice! You guys are Young Wai-Wai, right?
**[05:03] Yomogi**
Huh? Yeah, we are.
**[05:05] Hitoe**
I heard all about how you got
disqualified in the last round.
**[05:09] Hitoe**
You went on TV, and it went
straight to your head.
**[05:11] Hitoe**
That's, like, super lame!
**[05:13] Yomogi**
Don't talk to us like that. It's so rude!
**[05:15] Yuzu**
But who are you?
**[05:17] Hitoe**
Oh, us?
**[05:19] Hitoe**
Sprouted from the land and sea of Okinawa,
**[05:22] Hitoe**
the guardian lions of comedy!
**[05:24] Hitoe**
You know that "Chochune" joke? That's us!
***SIGN*** Chochune
**[05:27] Eri**
Flyin' high like an Okinawan rail.
**[05:29] Miroko**
I dream of drowning at sea and
coming back as a coral reef.
**[05:36] Yayoi**
Are you guys appearing
in the comeback round?
**[05:39] Hitoe**
Yeah, and we're the ones who're gonna win!
**[05:43] Hitoe**
We ain't losing to some fancy-pants
Takako-so team that was showin' off on TV!
**[05:48] Ringo**
Hold it right there!
**[05:52] Yomogi**
Huh?
**[05:52] Yuzu**
Namahage?
**[05:56] Ringo**
Ripe as fresh fruit from Tohoku,
***SIGN*** Michinoku
***SIGN*** Blizzard
**[05:58] Ringo**
Michinoku Blizzard is gonna snag
that last spot at the main event!
**[06:02] Cherry**
Hi, I'm Cherry.
**[06:03] Nashiko**
I dare you to say my pear
costume looks dumb.
**[06:06] Yuzu**
Could it be? These three too?
**[06:09] Udon**
Youse ain't gonna leave us out of this.
**[06:12] Udon**
Main event, you say?
**[06:14] Udon**
That spot's for the four-star
triangle of Shikoku,
***SIGN*** The Fore Seasons
**[06:17] Udon**
The Fore Seasons. You won't get past us!
**[06:21] Pom**
Anyone want some Pon orange juice?
**[06:23] Naru**
Believe it! Believe it!
***SIGN*** The Fore Seasons
**[06:25] Yomogi**
They keep getting weirder and weirder!
**[06:28] Yuzu**
They're coming on so strong, it's
actually drowning out their style.
**[06:31] Yuzu**
These are the trios going
to the comeback round?
**[06:35] Udon**
What a seriously sour bunch you are.
**[06:37] Udon**
I'll strangle you to death with my udon!
**[06:39] Udon**
Or would ya rather choke to death on it?
**[06:42] Yomogi**
Quit weaponizing your local cuisine!
**[06:44] Jessie**
Remember!
**[06:45] Jessie**
If y'all ignore us, you're
going to re-Greta Garbo it!
**[06:48] Yayoi**
Who is it this time?
**[06:50] Jessie**
The world-class star player of comedy.
**[06:53] Jessie**
Fujiyama Touchdown is who we are!
***SIGN*** Fujiyama Touchdown
**[06:56] Miley**
Country is country!
**[06:59] Kaepernickson**
Fujiyama justice!
**[07:00] Jessie**
Young Wai-Wai!
**[07:02] Jessie**
You think you're somethin' special just
because you got on TV a little, big man?
**[07:06] Jessie**
We'll show ya who's who when
we ace that comeback round!
**[07:10] Hitoe**
Oh, jeez! That fake globalization!
**[07:13] Hitoe**
We won't let you just brush
Chochune off and declare a win!
**[07:17] Ringo**
Our jokes are better and our farms
are bigger than anything you got!
**[07:20] Udon**
We'll show you how thick our
skin is. Thicker than udon!
**[07:30] Yayoi**
They were crazy.
**[07:32] Yomogi**
Yeah, literally.
**[07:33] Yuzu**
Their intros had such impact that
I don't even remember the jokes.
**[07:38] Yomogi**
I guess that sort of thing is comedy too,
**[07:40] Yomogi**
but I want us to compete on
the strength of our gags.
**[07:43] Yayoi**
Then let's start writing new ones!
**[07:45] Yayoi**
Let's hit 'em with the best we got!
**[07:48] Kana**
I heard about what's going on.
**[07:50] Yayoi**
Kana-chan?!
**[07:52] Chitose**
Kana. You're inside. Take off your shoes.
**[07:54] Iroha**
Excuse us! We just dropped by.
**[07:56] Yomogi**
Bullet Kunoichi!
**[07:58] Yomogi**
Why are you guys here?
**[07:59] Kana**
Come on, we aren't strangers.
**[08:01] Kana**
We were your housemates at Takako-so!
**[08:03] Kana**
If you're having trouble with
your routine, we can help!
**[08:07] Miyu**
That settles it! The theme
is Ibaraki versus Gunma!
**[08:10] Misao**
Yeah, that's perfect.
**[08:12] Yomogi**
No, it isn't!
**[08:13] Yomogi**
But where the heck did you come from?
**[08:15] Hina**
Kids in Ibaraki learn to camouflage
themselves three months after birth.
**[08:19] Hina**
They must, to survive.
**[08:20] Yomogi**
Is their life really that harsh?
**[08:22] Saeka**
We got worried and decided to visit.
We thought things might turn out like this.
**[08:27] Hikari**
If we can't give Young
Wai-Wai practical advice,
**[08:30] Hikari**
it'll just be a distraction for them.
**[08:33] Mako**
People who are really stingy with their
advice never actually help, do they?
**[08:37] Miyu**
Oh, stuff it!
**[08:39] Miyu**
You think you can give
them good advice, then?
**[08:42] Saeka**
Yes, of course.
**[08:43] Saeka**
First of all, we'll have them
wear this when they go on stage.
***SIGN*** We'll pay you 100,000 yen each
if you help us win
**[08:49] Yomogi**
It's a bribe!
**[08:50] Yuina**
The horoscope says the stars will be
aligned for Young Wai-Wai that day.
**[08:55] Yomogi**
Invaders!
**[08:58] Yomogi**
Why'd you come in that way?
**[08:59] Yuina**
And your lucky charm is
a space alien's head!
**[09:02] Chihori**
What? Seriously?!
**[09:03] Mone**
Want me to teach you my beam saber bit?
**[09:06] Yomogi**
This room is too small for all of you!
**[09:09] Kana**
But we're all worried about you!
**[09:12] Yuina**
We want you at the main event! Definitely!
**[09:14] Mako**
Then why don't we all take turns
writing parts of the routine?
**[09:18] Miyu**
We'll start it with "Ibaraki banzai!"
**[09:21] Yomogi**
That makes the topic too small!
**[09:23] Mone**
How about "space banzai"?
**[09:25] Yomogi**
That makes it too big!
**[09:26] Saeka**
Why don't we drop cash
from a helicopter, then?
**[09:30] Yomogi**
Another bribe?
**[09:31] Yomogi**
You only see that at the
end of heist movies!
**[09:34] Miyu**
Then we'll drop natto instead.
**[09:36] Yomogi**
That's harassment!
**[09:37] Mone**
I always use the beam saber
to heat up the onsen.
**[09:40] Yomogi**
Enough of the beam saber jokes!
**[09:42] Kana**
How about everything from the birth
of the planet to the present?
**[09:42] Yayoi**
Did you think of something?
**[09:45] Yuzu**
Yeah. Why don't we go with this theme?
**[09:46] Yomogi**
That's too long!
***SIGN*** Our Friends at Takako-so
***SIGN*** Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
***SIGN*** Teppen Grand Prix
**[10:05] Ahn Mika**
The day is finally here!
**[10:07] Ahn Mika**
The Teppen Grand Prix main event!
**[10:10] Ahn Mika**
I'll be your host today—
**[10:12] Ahn Mika**
like a big sister you all know and love,
**[10:14] Ahn Mika**
Ahn Mika is here for you!
**[10:18] Ahn Mika**
Before tonight's main event,
**[10:20] Ahn Mika**
we're holding the comeback round on
a special stage next to the stadium.
***SIGN*** Teppen Grand Prix
***SIGN*** Chochune
**[10:26] Ahn Mika**
* The comeback round will stream*
* live on our official channel,*
**[10:30] Ahn Mika**
* where the audience will*
* be able to participate!*
**[10:33] Ahn Mika**
* The ranking of the performances will*
* be decided by the in-person audience*
**[10:37] Ahn Mika**
*and online viewers around the country.*
**[10:40] Ahn Mika**
* Out of the ten entrants, only the group with*
* the most votes will receive a ticket*
**[10:45] Ahn Mika**
*to attend the Teppen Grand Prix main event.*
***SIGN*** Teppen
Grand Prix
***SIGN*** Teppen
Grand Prix
**[10:49] Ahn Mika**
* Which trio will earn a final chance*
* to perform at the main event?*
***SIGN*** Teppen
Grand Prix
***SIGN*** Comeback Round
Entries
***SIGN*** Chochune
***SIGN*** Beach Time
***SIGN*** Fujiyama Touchdown
***SIGN*** Michinoku Blizzard
***SIGN*** The Fore Seasons
***SIGN*** Tonkotsu Busters
***SIGN*** Three Silly Sisters
***SIGN*** Hyakumangoku Manju
***SIGN*** Mixed Vegetables
***SIGN*** Young Wai-Wai
***SIGN*** Young Wai-Wai
**[10:54] Ahn Mika**
*This is one show you don't want to miss!*
**[10:57] Chitose**
*A traffic jam?!*
**[10:58] Yuzu**
Yeah. There was some kind of accident.
**[11:00] Steward**
I am very sorry.
**[11:02] Yayoi**
It isn't your fault, Steward.
**[11:04] Yomogi**
But how long will this traffic jam last?
**[11:10] Akudai**
Hey, you! Get out of my way!
**[11:13] Detective**
No! This is our filming location!
**[11:15] Akudai**
No men allowed!
**[11:17] Detective**
Damn it! We air in 24 hours!
***SIGN*** Fujiyama Touchdown
**[11:22] Jessie**
Touchdown! We're Fujiyama Touchdown,
**[11:26] Jessie**
and we're going to send a comedy tornado...
**[11:28] Chitose**
At this rate, they might not even make it.
***SIGN*** Green Room
**[11:31] Kana**
Oh, no!
**[11:32] Misao**
They're on last, so they
still have some time.
**[11:36] Yuina**
Saeka-san! Can't you send them
a helicopter or something?
**[11:39] Saeka**
It's impossible. It would take
too much time to arrange.
**[11:43] Chihori**
There aren't any UFOs available, either.
**[11:45] Mako**
Then let's ask them to delay!
**[11:47] Hikari**
That's right. If we talk
to the management...
**[11:51] Seiji**
That won't work.
**[11:53] Seiji**
The main event broadcast
starts right afterward.
**[11:56] Seiji**
The schedule is locked in.
**[11:58] Kana**
I know, but this is too unfair!
**[12:00] Kana**
Yayoi-chan kept saying she wanted to
go to the main event with everyone.
**[12:04] Kana**
But now...
**[12:13] Yuzu**
If we catch the next train, we might make it.
**[12:16] Yayoi**
Let's hurry!
**[12:17] Yuzu; Yomogi**
Yeah!
**[12:19] Steward**
Please be careful!
**[12:28] Ringo**
*So I told 'em to cut it out and...*
***SIGN*** Michinoku Blizzard
**[12:32] Yuina**
They're already on the fourth team.
***SIGN*** The Fore Seasons
**[12:38] Udon**
*Pon, are ya ready?*
**[12:51] Yayoi**
We made it!
**[12:52] Yuzu**
I'm out of breath.
**[12:54] Yomogi**
We should just barely make it in time.
**[12:59] Yuzu**
I wonder how the comeback round is going.
**[13:02] Yayoi**
Let's check.
**[13:04] Yomogi**
Chochune, Michinoku Blizzard,
**[13:06] Yomogi**
and then The Fore Seasons and
Fujiyama Touchdown, was it?
**[13:10] Yomogi**
How're those guys doing?
***SIGN*** Chochune
**[13:12] Yuzu**
They seemed really funny,
with their costumes and stuff.
***SIGN*** Michinoku
***SIGN*** Blizzard
***SIGN*** The Fore Seasons
***SIGN*** Fujiyama Touchdown
***SIGN*** Teppen
Grand Prix
***SIGN*** Comeback Round
Tentative Ranking
***SIGN*** Three Silly Sisters
***SIGN*** Beach Time
***SIGN*** Tonkotsu Busters
**[13:15] Yayoi**
Who's in first? Never heard of this trio.
***SIGN*** Comeback Round
***SIGN*** Audience Votes
**[13:18] Yuzu**
And the four teams we met...
**[13:20] Yuzu**
Huh?
***SIGN*** C
H
O
C
H
U
N
E
***SIGN*** B
E
A
C
H
T
I
M
E
***SIGN*** F
U
J
I
Y
A
M
A
***SIGN*** T
O
U
C
H
D
O
W
N
***SIGN*** M
I
C
H
I
N
O
K
U
***SIGN*** B
L
I
Z
Z
A
R
D
***SIGN*** T
H
E
F
O
R
E
S
E
A
S
O
N
S
**[13:21] Yomogi**
They're bombing!
**[13:22] Yomogi**
That can't be right!
**[13:24] Yomogi**
They came out swinging like they were
supposed to be the tough opponents!
**[13:28] Yomogi**
They even got their own introduction scenes!
**[13:31] Yuzu**
What was the point of them acting so cocky?
**[13:33] Yayoi**
I guess they only *looked* funny.
**[13:37] Yomogi**
What now?
**[13:40] Announcer**
* Due to a regional power outage,*
* we must make a temporary stop.*
**[13:44] Announcer**
*We apologize for the inconvenience.*
**[13:49] Police**
You rerouted all of the
power in the city? Why?
**[13:53] Interpreter**
In the story, the super rifle
needs that much power to shoot.
**[13:58] Police**
But you can't do it for real!
**[14:00] Police**
You caused a power outage!
**[14:02] Yayoi**
How long does "temporary" mean?
**[14:04] Yomogi**
Temporary means temporary.
**[14:07] Yomogi**
But there's no way we'll make it now.
**[14:09] Yayoi**
Then let's get off here!
**[14:11] Yuzu**
We can't. Look.
**[14:13] Yuzu**
We're on a bridge!
**[14:15] MC**
*Next is entry number 8, Hyakumangoku Manju!*
***SIGN*** Hyakumangoku Manju
***SIGN*** Hyakumangoku Manju
**[14:19] All three**
Hello! We're Hyakumangoku Manju!
**[14:20] Chitose**
Oh, come on. Aren't they here yet?
**[14:36] Yomogi**
That's it. We'll never make it now.
**[14:39] Yuzu**
We let everyone at Takako-so down.
**[14:42] Yuzu**
After they did so much to encourage us...
**[14:44] Yomogi**
Unbelievable. Disqualified for being late...
**[14:48] Yuzu**
Yayoi?
**[14:50] Yayoi**
That was so fun!
**[14:51] Yuzu; Yomogi**
Huh?
**[14:52] Yayoi**
Oh, sorry.
**[14:53] Yayoi**
I'm really sad and frustrated, too.
**[14:56] Yayoi**
But when I realized it was over and
thought about everything we did...
**[15:01] Yayoi**
"It was so much fun!"
**[15:03] Yayoi**
That was all I could think about.
**[15:06] Yomogi**
How can you say that at a time like this?
**[15:08] Yayoi**
Yeah, I know. I'm sorry!
**[15:10] Yomogi**
It really was a lot of fun, though.
**[15:13] Yomogi**
Especially when we were in Takako-so.
**[15:15] Yomogi**
I felt like we were laughing the whole time.
**[15:17] Yuzu**
That's right. I had fun, too.
**[15:20] Yuzu**
Everyone at Takako-so was such a character.
**[15:22] Yuzu**
At first, I didn't think we'd get along.
**[15:25] Yayoi**
You were worried about that?
**[15:27] Yuzu**
Well, yeah.
**[15:28] Yuzu**
When I met Miyu-chan,
she handed me a natto bean,
**[15:31] Yuzu**
and said, "Here, a sign of friendship."
**[15:33] Yomogi**
"A clean vote for Ibaraki!"
Sayin' stuff like that.
**[15:36] Yomogi**
But my vote's worth more
than one slimy natto bean!
**[15:40] Yomogi**
It ain't even close to a fair trade.
**[15:42] Yuzu**
When she got in a fight with Kana-chan,
she whipped out the natto and yelled, "eat it!"
**[15:47] Yomogi**
I get that a lot of Kansai
folks don't like natto,
**[15:50] Yomogi**
but she used it like a
crucifix against Dracula!
**[15:53] Yomogi**
Is that what she thinks
of her local cuisine?
**[15:55] Yayoi**
And then Kana-chan almost turned to dust.
**[15:57] Yomogi**
No, she didn't!
***SIGN*** Peach Robot
***SIGN*** These three girls on the train are so funny
**[15:58] Yomogi**
If natto made Kansai folks evaporate,
there'd be tragedies all over Osaka!
***SIGN*** Miyapi #9/25 Fukuoka
***SIGN*** I've seen them somewhere before
**[16:03] Yomogi**
You gonna make us all go extinct?!
***SIGN*** Yukki
***SIGN*** They're right in front of me!!
**[16:05] Yayoi**
Extinction would suck!
I love Osaka and Kansai!
**[16:09] Yomogi**
Well, I'm glad to hear that.
**[16:10] Yayoi**
People in Kansai are all
funny, warm, bipedal,
**[16:15] Yayoi**
omnivorous, and don't have tails!
**[16:18] Yomogi**
Are you comparing us to dinosaurs?
**[16:20] Yomogi**
Who the heck jokes about the Reiwa Era
and the Cretaceous Period together?
**[16:23] Yuzu**
We were talking about extinction, so
your mind went to dinosaurs, right?
**[16:26] Yuzu**
But don't worry. Even if a giant asteroid
fell, the people of Kansai would repel it!
***SIGN*** Ohapi
Laughing so hard
my stomach hurts!
***SIGN*** Nobuyasu
Hold on.
Young Wai-Wai is hilarious!
And cute! They're great!
***SIGN*** YY King
In Kansai they do manzai on trains! lol
***SIGN*** Too funny, I can't! lol
Please, not on the train! lol
***SIGN*** Young Wai-Wai are too cute to be this funny!
**[16:31] Yomogi**
These Kansai folk aren't just for show...
***SIGN*** Kuma Bear
A normal conversation turns into manzai
They must really love comedy!
***SIGN*** ...on the show??
**[16:33] Yomogi**
Forget that! The glow of Naniwa hearts
won't make a miracle happen!
***SIGN*** Taper Taro
They're doing manzai in the wild! lol
***SIGN*** Glasses Ryutaro
Hilarious! I could watch this forever!
***SIGN*** Phone Light Kid
The girl on the right has crazy comebacks!
***SIGN*** Huh? Young Wai-Wai!
I've seen them on TV
***SIGN*** The girls from the show in the park
***SIGN*** LOL
***SIGN*** Fish-Fish Master
They're performing on the train?
***SIGN*** Teppen
Grand Prix
***SIGN*** Comeback Round
Entries
***SIGN*** Chochune
***SIGN*** Beach Time
***SIGN*** Fujiyama Touchdown
***SIGN*** Michinoku Blizzard
***SIGN*** The Fore Seasons
***SIGN*** Tonkotsu Busters
***SIGN*** Three Silly Sisters
***SIGN*** Hyakumangoku Manju
***SIGN*** Mixed Vegetables
***SIGN*** Young Wai-Wai
**[16:37] Ahn Mika**
We're down to the last team
in the comeback round!
**[16:40] Ahn Mika**
And yet...
***SIGN*** Young Wai-Wai
**[16:42] Ahn Mika**
it seems that the last team,
Young Wai-Wai, have not arrived.
***SIGN*** Young Wai-Wai
***SIGN*** Young Wai-Wai
**[16:54] Ahn Mika**
Unfortunately, we'll have...
**[16:56] Ahn Mika**
to dis—
***SIGN*** Look at the votes!
**[16:57] Ahn Mika**
Huh?
**[16:58] Ahn Mika**
Check the votes?
***SIGN*** Comeback Round
***SIGN*** Young Wai-Wai
**[17:01] Ahn Mika**
Is this...?
**[17:02] Ahn Mika**
What does this mean? Even though
they haven't performed,
**[17:05] Ahn Mika**
Young Wai-Wai is raking in the votes!
**[17:08] Hina**
How?
***SIGN*** Comeback Round
**[17:10] Yomogi**
* That's why you can't put Kansai*
* folk in a blast furnace!*
**[17:13] All**
What?
**[17:15] Mako**
What? What? What is happening?
**[17:17] Yayoi**
* Yay! I don't know why, but*
* we're being recorded!*
***SIGN*** Kansai folk in a blast furnace?? It's Young whatever! They get my vote gimme deets lol
**[17:20] Yuzu**
*Like a live stream?*
***SIGN*** Young Wai-Wai
Huh? On the train???
they're from the comeback round
**[17:22] Yomogi**
*So what? There's enough of us to go around.*
**[17:24] Yayoi**
* Hey, will you make my eyes*
* sparkly and my nose pointier?*
***SIGN*** JK cute funny
***SIGN*** funny
who the heck
vote! vote! vote! vote!
I've seen them before
don't put effects on the pink girl lol
**[17:28] Yomogi**
*Don't put filters on the video!*
**[17:29] Yuzu**
* I don't need all that, but would*
* you mind giving me a halo?*
**[17:33] Yomogi**
*You trying to look holy?*
**[17:36] Yomogi**
*That's even more egotistical!*
**[17:37] Ahn Mika**
It seems like the live stream is going viral,
and the people watching are casting votes.
***SIGN*** Comeback Round
**[17:44] Ahn Mika**
But is this allowed?
**[17:47] Yayoi**
Doesn't it seem like Chitose-chan likes
tsukkomi too much and gets carried away?
**[17:52] Yuzu**
When she came back with, "What
kind of sun rises like that?"
**[17:54] Yuzu**
I thought she'd peaked.
**[17:56] Iroha**
Young Wai-Wai is still gaining points!
**[17:59] Kana**
Go! Go!
**[18:00] Yayoi**
When I called Ibaraki "Ibaragi" once,
Hina-chan in Akudare Kingdom
**[18:04] Yayoi**
blinked a death threat at me in Morse code.
**[18:08] Miyu**
Go for it!
**[18:10] Yuzu**
Around Takako-so,
**[18:11] Yuzu**
there are so many UFOs
appearing all the time,
**[18:13] Yuzu**
it's practically a sci-fi pilgrimage site.
**[18:16] Yayoi**
I heard Saeka-san in Celebri-Tea
paid for those UFOs.
**[18:20] Yomogi**
Has she paid off the entire galaxy?
***SIGN*** Mixed Vegetables
***SIGN*** Three Silly Sisters
***SIGN*** Beach Time
***SIGN*** Young Wai-Wai
**[18:24] Saeka**
Keep going!
**[18:25] Yayoi**
According to Yuina-chan in Invaders,
**[18:27] Yayoi**
space aliens that used to be all
silver are starting to turn yellow.
**[18:31] Yomogi**
The stress of intergalactic
ambition is aging their skin!
***SIGN*** Beach Time
***SIGN*** Young Wai-Wai
***SIGN*** Three Silly Sisters
***SIGN*** Young Wai-Wai
***SIGN*** Beach Time
**[18:36] Yuina; Mone; Chihori**
Go!
***SIGN*** Three Silly Sisters
***SIGN*** Hyakumangoku Manju
***SIGN*** Mixed Vegetables
***SIGN*** Young Wai-Wai
**[18:39] Yomogi**
Yeah, you said it!
***SIGN*** Three Silly Sisters
***SIGN*** Young Wai-Wai
***SIGN*** Beach Time
***SIGN*** Young Wai-Wai
***SIGN*** Three Silly Sisters
***SIGN*** Comeback Round
***SIGN*** Young Wai-Wai
***SIGN*** Three Silly Sisters
***SIGN*** Beach Time
**[18:45] Miyu**
They did it!
**[18:48] Announcer**
*Thank you for your patience.*
**[18:50] Announcer**
*Train operation will now resume.*
**[18:52] Master Frog**
*Invalid! They aren't even at the venue!*
**[18:56] Master Kokeshi**
*And those aren't real gags!*
**[18:57] Master Frog**
* No matter how many votes they received,*
* we cannot endorse this result!*
**[19:01] Seiji**
I hate to disagree, but...
**[19:02] Master Moai**
*What is it, code name: Muscle?*
**[19:05] Seiji**
Our predecessors were once told the
same thing by their superiors.
**[19:09] Seiji**
"You're just punks making small talk."
"This isn't even comedy."
**[19:13] Seiji**
But afterward, those same people went on
to shine as legends in the world of comedy.
**[19:19] Master Frog**
*What are you trying to say?*
**[19:22] Seiji**
The old shouldn't limit the
possibilities of the young.
**[19:24] Seiji**
If it's funny, isn't that enough?
**[19:29] Yomogi**
Aw, we didn't make it after all.
**[19:32] Yayoi**
Yeah.
**[19:33] Yuzu**
Too bad.
**[19:40] Yuzu**
Barbra-san?
**[19:42] Yayoi**
How?
**[19:43] Barbra**
You can still make it. Get in!
**[19:46] Yayoi**
Takada-san!
**[19:51] All three**
Thanks!
**[19:54] Ahn Mika**
Following the solo and duo competitions,
we now bring you trios!
***SIGN*** Teppen Grand Prix
**[19:58] Ahn Mika**
Funny faces from across Japan will compete
**[20:00] Ahn Mika**
for the number one spot in
this historic competition!
**[20:03] Ahn Mika**
We'll see who is strong enough to reach
the top—the Teppen—of comedy
**[20:06] Ahn Mika**
in the Teppen Grand Prix!
**[20:08] Ahn Mika**
The show is about to begin!
**[20:11] Ahn Mika**
But before we start the main event, let's
announce the results of the comeback round.
**[20:16] Ahn Mika**
The team who passed the comeback round is...
**[20:19] Ahn Mika**
Three Silly Sisters!
**[20:21] Ahn Mika**
Only one team can advance
from the comeback round.
**[20:35] Ahn Mika**
However, this year, there is an exception!
**[20:39] Ahn Mika**
The Teppen Grand Prix management
committee has decided that,
***SIGN*** Teppen Grand Prix
**[20:42] Ahn Mika**
since they received an
unprecedented number of votes,
**[20:44] Ahn Mika**
one more trio will be given
special permission to perform.
**[20:48] Ahn Mika**
Let's welcome them to the stage!
**[20:51] Ahn Mika**
Young Wai-Wai!
**[21:23] [SONG] Lead**
Go! We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
**[21:27] [SONG] back**
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
**[21:34] [SONG] lead**
Hi! Hi! Hello! Let's get
on with the show today.
**[21:37] [SONG] lead**
We've just got four minutes, but we
hope you hear everything that we say.
**[21:40] [SONG] back**
Hey there cutie, hey there cutie,
didn't even miss a beat there, cutie.
**[21:42] [SONG] lead**
We hope you enjoy the show today.
**[21:45] [SONG] lead**
Here at home with you, in your living room,
we'll put a twinkle into your eyes.
**[21:51] [SONG] lead**
We've all dreamed to see if we could be
on a stage so free. Now it's a reality!
**[22:00] [SONG] lead**
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
**[22:03] [SONG] lead**
It's all good when we're laughing together.
**[22:06] [SONG] lead**
If we bomb, slip, even if we cry,
so what! That's still part of our destiny.
**[22:11] [SONG] lead**
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
**[22:14] [SONG] lead**
We'll hit it big if we
keep laughing together.
**[22:17] [SONG] lead**
We never knew that life
could ever be like this,
**[22:20] [SONG] lead**
and now that we're going, you know
there's no way we'll ever stop!
**[22:23] [SONG] lead**
We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
**[22:27] [SONG] back**
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
**[22:28] [SONG] lead**
All of our searching, all of our
training is fading out into the past.
**[22:34] [SONG] lead**
But to us now, those memories
will always be so precious.
**[22:40] [SONG] lead**
All of the tears, all of the pain,
rewriting life with our own words.
**[22:45] [SONG] lead**
We want to laugh it all away with you,
right up to the end. And that's a wrap!
**[22:53] Yayoi**
And that's it! We had so much fun.
**[22:55] Yuzu**
We had so much fun that we
can't talk about it all now.
**[22:58] Yuzu**
To be continued online!
**[22:59] Yomogi**
Let's talk now! I've never seen a
commercial say "to be continued online"
**[23:02] Yomogi**
and then link to anything even
remotely worth watching!
**[23:04] Yuzu**
Oh, I know!
**[23:06] Yuzu**
We can stick QR codes to our clothes
and let people watch our gags online.
**[23:09] Yuzu**
Then all we have to do is stand still!
**[23:12] Yomogi**
Just get mannequins for that!
**[23:14] Yomogi**
That isn't why we're here!
**[23:15] Yuzu**
I guess you're right.
If we're gonna be on stage,
**[23:18] Yuzu**
we should be joking and making
the audience here laugh.
**[23:21] Yomogi**
Right? When the audience laughs,
we all have a blast.
**[23:24] Yayoi**
Yeah! Yeah!
**[23:25] Yayoi**
We laugh, you laugh,
**[23:27] Yayoi**
and when everyone has a smile on their face,
then we're all at the Teppen!
**[23:30] All three**
Yeah!
***SIGN*** The End.
***SIGN*** Teppen!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!
***SIGN*** Illustration: Namamugi
***SIGN*** Thank you for watching!!!