Season 1
- E1 - The Chicken Chapter
- E2 - The Cattle Chapter
- E3 - The Evil Magistrate Chapter
- E4 - The Salon Chapter
- E5 - The Lamp Chapter
- E6 - The Flour Chapter
- E7 - The Mail-Order Chapter
- E8 - The Adult Meat Chapter
- E9 - The Adamski Chapter
- E10 - The Piñata Chapter
- E11 - The Boss Battle Chapter
- E12 - The Laughter Chapter
E1 - The Chicken Chapter
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:04] MC
The Teppen Grand Prix!
SIGN The Outstanding Social Innovation Group
SIGN Café Stars
SIGN Okonomiyaki
[00:06] MC
Hot-blooded high school students
from every corner of Japan
SIGN Snacks & Coffee
[00:09] MC
gather to test out their
manzai comedy skills.
[00:13] MC
Only one group will make it to the top,
[00:16] MC
but they will all pour every ounce of their
youthful passion into this dream competition!
[00:21] MC
Following solos and duos, there is
now a trios category as well!
[00:27] MC
Use all of your strength to reach the
pinnacle of comedy—the Teppen!
[00:34] [SONG] all
Yeah!
[00:34] [SONG] Yomogi
So, what's comedy?
[00:35] [SONG] Yayoi
Yo!
[00:36] [SONG] Yuzu
Tough question, for me
[00:37] [SONG] Yayoi
What could it be?
It's too far out to see!
[00:38] [SONG] Yuzu & Yomogi
Be! See!
[00:39] [SONG] Yomogi
Boke and tsukkomi, in the zone
[00:39] [SONG] Yayoi
Ye ye, in the zone!
[00:41] [SONG] Yuzu
We got god-tier jokes on the horizon
[00:41] [SONG] Yayoi & Yomogi
God! Horizon!
[00:43] [SONG] Kana
Wanna see us split into bunshin
[00:43] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Yeah!
[00:44] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Bullets!
[00:44] [SONG] Kana
And hear gags flying at you like bullets?
[00:46] [SONG] Kana
Leave it to comedy ninjas!
[00:47] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Nin-nin!
[00:47] [SONG] Saeka
High society, celebrity
[00:47] [SONG] Hikari & Mako
High! Celebrity!
[00:49] [SONG] Saeka
The cleanest jokes are our priority
[00:50] [SONG] Hikari & Mako
Priority!
[00:52] [SONG] Miyu
Yeah, Akudare, making you all laugh
[00:52] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Yeah!
[00:53] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Ah! Ah!
[00:54] [SONG] Miyu
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back
[00:54] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back!
[00:56] [SONG] Yuina
We. Are. The. Invaders. Yo.
[00:57] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
Ah Invaders
[00:58] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
That should tell you all you need to know
[00:59] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
Need to know!
[01:00] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Yeah!
[01:00] [SONG] Yuzu
Shake it up, Wai-Wai!
[01:00] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Wai-Wai!
[01:01] [SONG] Yomogi
Heat up the timeline!
[01:01] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Timeline!
[01:02] [SONG] Yayoi
Scramble for the win,
we won't give up our pride
[01:04] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Pride!
[01:05] [SONG] Yomogi
Found a new line
[01:05] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Oh!
[01:05] [SONG] Yuzu
Gonna sweep the prime time
[01:07] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Oh!
[01:07] [SONG] Yayoi
Who's on top then?
[01:08] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Gotta take the Teppen!
[01:08] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina
Take it to the top
[01:10] [SONG] all call
Doin' it for real!
[01:11] [SONG] Kana; Saeka
We'll show you, giving everything
we got, oh yeah
[01:12] [SONG] all call
Oh yeah
[01:13] [SONG] Miyu; Yuina
Gonna face the challenge head-on
[01:13] [SONG] all call
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
[01:15] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina
Running straight ahead
[01:15] [SONG] all call
Yo! Yo! Yo!
[01:17] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai
Take it to the top
[01:17] [SONG] all call
Yeah that's right!
[01:19] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai
It's show
[01:20] [SONG] Yomogi
Don't slow down to hear them
call you funny, not a day
[01:22] [SONG] Yuzu
You'll never reach the top that way
[01:22] [SONG] all call
Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh yeah!
[01:24] [SONG] Yayoi
You know it's true, what we say
[01:26] [SONG] all call
Hey!
[01:27] [SONG] all sing
But this isn't about us just getting a laugh
[01:30] [SONG] all call
Yeah! Yeah!
[01:33] [SONG] all sing
That's not why we're here
It's much bigger, bigger than all that
[01:36] [SONG] all call
All that
[01:37] [SONG] all sing
We want to get
[01:37] [SONG] all call
We want to get, yeah!
[01:40] [SONG] all sing
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
[01:40] [SONG] all call
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
[01:45] [SONG] all sing
Yeah if we are the ones
that are making you laugh
[01:45] [SONG] all call
Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye!
[01:50] [SONG] all sing
We gotta go so hard it'll really,
really give us that, you know?
[01:54] [SONG] all sing
Top of the laugh
[01:54] [SONG] all call
Top of the laugh Ye~ah!
[01:57] [SONG] all sing
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way.
We're gonna make it to the top one day!
[01:57] [SONG] all call
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way,
oh! We're gonna make it to the top one day!
[02:02] [SONG] Yayoi
Aw yeah!
SIGN The Chicken Chapter
[02:12] all three
Hello!
[02:14] Yayoi
I'm Yayoi.
[02:15] Yomogi
I'm Yomogi.
[02:16] Yuzu
I'm Yuzu.
[02:17] Yuzu
Y!
[02:17] Yayoi
Y!
[02:18] Yomogi
Y!
[02:18] all three
We're Young Wai-Wai!
[02:20] Yayoi
Hopefully you can at least remember
our names and aura colors.
[02:23] Yomogi
Ain't that asking too much?
[02:25] Yomogi
You can't expect people
to be able to see auras.
[02:28] Yuzu
Yayoi, you aren't even showing yours.
[02:30] Yomogi
You can see them?!
[02:32] Yayoi
Anyway, I got into some trouble recently.
[02:34] Yomogi & Yuzu
What happened?
[02:35] Yayoi
I broke something really valuable
that belonged to a friend.
[02:38] Yomogi & Yuzu
Huh?
[02:38] Yomogi
That's serious!
[02:44] Seiji
Yayoi! Yomogi! Yuzu!
[02:48] Seiji
I know you're in there. Open the door!
SIGN Young Wai-Wai
[02:53] Seiji
Come on! If you don't let me in,
I'll beat the door down!
SIGN Manager of the Takako-so Manor
SIGN Tani Seiji
[02:56] Yuzu
What do we do?
SIGN Young Wai-Wai
Hosono Yuzu
[02:58] Seiji
I already told you I was coming
to clean your A/C unit!
[03:01] Yomogi
What can we do?
SIGN Young Wai-Wai
Takahashi Yomogi
[03:03] Seiji
I've got to do the other rooms
too, so open up already!
[03:06] Yayoi
No! We can't right now!
[03:08] Seiji
Huh? Why not?
SIGN Young Wai-Wai
Sakamoto Yayoi
[03:11] Yayoi
The crane says she can't return
the favor if you look!
[03:13] Yayoi
She says if you do, she'll pluck
your eyeballs out with her beak!
[03:16] Seiji
That's drastic, crane!
I'll fry you up like chicken!
[03:19] Yuzu
Wait, I can ex-crane! Crane-a-doodle-doo!
[03:22] Yomogi
Is that your idea of a crane call?
[03:25] Seiji
Hmph. Fine, then.
[03:27] Seiji
I'll do the other rooms first.
[03:29] Seiji
But if you don't open up when I come back,
I'll make you do 100 upright rows.
[03:34] Yomogi
He doesn't understand the
weight of our crime.
[03:35] all three
Phew!
[03:36] Yayoi
That worked for now.
[03:37] Yuzu
But he'll be back soon. What do we do?
[03:40] Yayoi
We have to fix it!
[03:41] Yomogi
I know, but I looked everywhere
and can't find the head.
[03:44] Yayoi
Then let's find a replacement
that will fool him.
[03:46] Yomogi
A replacement?
[03:49] Yomogi
That ain't fooling anyone!
[03:51] Yayoi
We can say the human head deteriorated
and turned into a bird.
[03:54] Yayoi
Might be our only chance.
[03:55] Yomogi
If statue heads deteriorated
into birds like that,
[03:57] Yomogi
then every statue of a high school principal
in Japan would have a bird head!
[04:01] Yuzu
Then how about this?
[04:03] Yuzu
If we take it this far, maybe we can
just say it spontaneously evolved.
[04:07] Yomogi
No way, no way, no way, no way!
[04:08] Yomogi
Now it looks like some
kind of lonely monster.
[04:10] Yomogi
A homunculus created by a mad scientist!
[04:13] Yayoi
That's it! If it's a cyborg created by a
mad scientist, then we're just its victims!
[04:18] Yomogi
No way! We're in Osaka!
[04:20] Yayoi
So what?
SIGN Tokyo
[04:21] Yomogi
Have you forgotten the history of tokusatsu?
[04:24] Yomogi
The mad scientist always only attacks Tokyo!
[04:26] Yomogi
He always ignores Osaka.
[04:28] Mad Scientist
Osaka? Nah, I'm good.
[04:30] Yuzu & Yayoi
That's kind of sad.
SIGN Akudare Kingdom
[04:35] Seiji
My, are they out?
[04:37] Seiji
Oh dear...
SIGN Fruit
SIGN Meat
SIGN Alcohol
SIGN Expert Supermarket
SIGN Members of the General Public Very Welcome
[04:42] Misao
The A/C unit? Oh, yeah, totally fine.
Go ahead and let yourself in.
SIGN Akudare Kingdom
Ushiku Misao
[04:47] Miyu
But why?!
[04:49] Misao
Ah, we're out shopping.
[04:51] Miyu
This ain't acceptable!
[04:51] Misao
We should be back by dinner, though.
[04:54] Miyu
Why ain't you selling shoboro
natto around here?
SIGN Akudare Kingdom
Komatsuzaki Miyu
[04:57] Employee
I don't know what to tell you...
[04:59] Miyu
I went to all of the other stores, too!
[05:02] Hina
It's soul food from way out
in the boonies of Ibaraki.
SIGN Akudare Kingdom
Kasama Hina
[05:06] Hina
Of course they don't have it.
[05:08] Miyu
It don't make sense!
[05:09] Miyu
I always thought shoboro
natto was our national dish.
[05:12] Miyu
How could anyone not appreciate the perfect
union of natto beans and dried daikon strips?
[05:17] Hina
Well, they say folks in Kansai
don't eat natto anyway.
[05:20] Misao
It's unbelievable.
[05:21] Miyu
I got it!
[05:22] Misao
Got what?
[05:23] Miyo
I'll eradicate all the places in the
country that don't have shoboro natto!
[05:28] Miyo
To accomplish this, Ibaraki
should conquer Japan!
[05:31] Misao
Did it ever cross your mind
to just make it yourself?
[05:34] Hina
That ain't gonna work!
[05:36] Hina
If someone catches us making shoboro natto,
[05:39] Hina
they'll come yelling, "They're from Ibaraki!"
And they'll skewer us on bamboo spears.
[05:43] Soldiers
Ibaraki jerks, go home!
[05:47] Misao
Not a chance! Folks from Ibaraki
ain't that oppressed!
[05:50] Miyu
Yeah! I just want to share shoboro
natto with the others in the dorm!
[05:54] Hina
Ya can't! I'm tellin' ya,
they'll skewer you with spears!
[05:57] Misao
Why are bamboo spears all you think about?
[05:59] Miyu
Don't worry about it!
[06:00] Miyu
As citizens of Ibaraki, Suke-san and
Kaku-san will have our back!
[06:03] Misao
Leave Ibaraki's strongest warriors
out of this stupid battle!
SIGN Bullet Kunoichi
[06:09] Kana
I don't wanna!
[06:10] Chitose
Hold it!
[06:12] Chitose
Don't be so selfish! We're going!
[06:14] Kana
No, I don't wanna!
[06:15] Seiji
Ouch.
[06:17] Seiji
Oh my, what fabulous calves.
[06:20] Iroha
Oh, hi, Manager!
SIGN Bullet Kunoichi
Akishika Iroha
[06:22] Iroha
Your biceps are looking ripped today!
[06:24] Seiji
Thank you!
[06:25] Seiji
But you guys remember there's
no fighting in the dorm, right?
[06:29] Chitose
Yeah, but Kana keeps talkin' nonsense.
SIGN Invaders
SIGN Bullet Kunoichi
Amano Chitose
[06:32] Kana
I just don't wanna practice
our routine at the station!
SIGN Bullet Kunoichi
Kiyotsuru Kana
[06:35] Iroha
Chitose thought it'd be better
to practice in front of people
[06:39] Iroha
because that's more like a real show.
[06:40] Seiji
Do you have a good reason not to?
[06:42] Seiji
You can tell me. I promise I won't get mad.
[06:44] Kana
Really?
[06:45] Seiji
Really.
[06:45] Kana
I'm, like, so cute, right?
[06:47] Seiji
My bad. I'm about to lose it.
[06:49] Kana
If we practice at the station, lots and lots of
people will crowd around to see me, right?
[06:54] Kana
Maybe at a scale of tens or
hundreds of thousands.
[06:58] Kana
What in the world will I do if they start
worshiping me or something?
[07:02] Chitose
Who the heck cares? Just be
a god or something, then.
[07:04] Kana
Hey! Is that any way to talk to a god?
[07:07] Chitose
Back to the starting line, girl!
You ain't a god yet!
[07:10] Seiji
Do you mind if I start cleaning the A/C unit?
[07:13] Iroha
Go right ahead.
[07:15] Yayoi
I tried all sorts of things,
but nothing worked.
[07:18] Yomogi
No kidding.
[07:19] Yuzu
We've gone so far, I don't even remember
what we were aiming for in the first place.
[07:23] Yomogi
No kidding.
[07:24] Yayoi
At this point, we'll just
have to flat-out apologize.
[07:27] Yayoi
Don't worry about it, Yomogi!
[07:29] Yayoi
I'll go with you to apologize!
[07:30] Yomogi
Huh? Why are you trying
to pin the blame on me?
[07:35] Yayoi
You know what? I actually saw it.
[07:38] Yomogi
Huh?
[07:39] Yuzu
Saw it? Saw what?
[07:41] Yayoi
It was right around when I moved to Osaka.
[07:45] Yomogi
Hold on! This isn't about the trophy?
[07:46] Yomogi
How far are you flashing back, anyway?
SIGN Kagetsu High School
[07:49] Yuzu
Let's just listen to Yayoi's story for now.
[07:52] (Flashback) Teacher
Well then, who's next?
[07:53] (Flashback) Yayoi
That's me!
[07:54] (Flashback) Yayoi
My name is Sakamoto Yayoi! I love comedy!
[07:57] (Flashback) Yayoi
I always wanted to live in Namba,
[08:00] (Flashback) Yayoi
so I took the Kagetsu High School
entrance exam in Kyoto.
[08:02] (Flashback) Yayoi
I'm very glad to meet you!
[08:07] (Flashback) Yayoi
Wow, this stage brings back memories!
[08:17] (Flashback) Yomogi
Yayoi?
[08:18] (Flashback) Yayoi
Yomogi?!
[08:19] Yomogi
It wasn't some battlefield
reunion like that!
[08:21] Yayoi
Oh? It wasn't?
[08:23] Yayoi
I guess my memory's all mixed up.
[08:27] (Flashback) Yayoi
Hey, do you remember when we
performed manzai on this stage?
[08:31] (Flashback) Yomogi
We had so much fun in Konamons.
[08:34] (Flashback) Yayoi
Hey, wanna do one for old time's sake?
[08:37] (Flashback) Yomogi
Yeah.
[08:38] (Flashback) Yayoi & Yomogi
Hello! We're the Konamons!
[08:42] (Flashback) Yayoi
Standing here again makes me remember...
[08:47] (Flashback) Yayoi
how exciting it all was back then.
[08:52] (Flashback) Yomogi
Oh, give me a break!
[08:54] (Flashback) Yayoi & Yomogi
Thank you very much!
[09:02] (Flashback) Yuzu
Y'all so funny!
[09:04] (Flashback) Yomogi
Huh?
[09:05] (Flashback) Yayoi
Who?
[09:07] (Flashback) Yuzu
You two'll reach the top, no question!
[09:11] Yomogi
It was such a surprise when
Yuzu started talking to us.
[09:15] Yuzu
Tee hee hee!
[09:16] Yayoi
Yeah, Yuzu's the one who told us
to aim for the Teppen Grand Prix.
[09:19] Yayoi
And we got together right when
they started the trios category.
[09:24] Yayoi
It really was destiny!
[09:26] Yomogi
Sure was.
[09:27] Yuzu
Yup.
[09:29] Yomogi
What happened to the story about the trophy?
[09:31] Yayoi & Yuzu
Ahh!
SIGN Celebri-Tea
[09:34] Seiji
Huh?
[09:36] Seiji
Who in the world gold-plated the door?
[09:38] Seiji
Huh?
[09:39] Seiji
What is this?
[09:41] Seiji
What is going on?
[09:43] Seiji
Another door.
[09:54] Saeka
Oh, hello, Manager. I hope you've been well.
[09:56] Saeka
Would you like to join us for tea?
[09:58] Seiji
What in the world is this?
[10:01] Saeka
Isn't it lovely?
[10:02] Saeka
We were a little cramped,
so we took the liberty of remodeling.
SIGN Celebri-Tea
Yabukita Saeka
[10:06] Seiji
Who said you could build a castle here?!
[10:09] Saeka
Oh, dear. Is that not allowed?
[10:10] Seiji
Of course it isn't!
[10:12] Seiji
The only expansion I want is a gym!
[10:14] Seiji
The only addition I want is a Smith machine!
[10:15] Seiji
Do you under-muscle-stand?
[10:17] Hikari
I knew it would be a problem.
[10:20] Hikari
I told you so, Saeka.
SIGN Celebri-Tea
Jogasaki Hikari
[10:22] Hikari
Our lifestyle is simply too
dazzling for commoners.
[10:26] Mako
Th-That's right.
SIGN Celebri-Tea
Shirakabe Mako
[10:28] Mako
You need to ease the lower classes
into it with a sprinkle of gold leaf.
[10:30] Saeka
Oh, is that right?
[10:36] Seiji
What do you think you're doing?
[10:37] Seiji
I'm into body building, not body gilding!
[10:40] Saeka
Oh, I apologize.
[10:41] Mako
Sorry, that's because of what I said.
[10:44] Mako
I'll take the gold leaf off.
[10:47] Mako
It's pure gold.
She really lives that celebrity life!
[10:50] Mako
If I get the flakes off, I can sell them!
[10:52] Mako
So to do that...
[10:53] Mako
Manager, in order to get the
gold off without damaging it,
[10:56] Mako
would you mind if I peeled off
about three millimeters of your skin?
[10:59] Seiji
How can you say something so
scary with such a straight face?
[11:04] Seiji
And now what's this? What
happened to the door?
SIGN Invaders
[11:07] all three
Ventla, ventla, space people.
[11:10] all three
Ventla, ventla, space people.
[11:13] Yuina
Hey, is this really the
way to call for a UFO?
SIGN Invaders
Rokkatei Yuina
[11:16] Mone
You better believe it.
I read about it on the internet.
SIGN Invaders
Ishiya Mone
[11:19] Mone
"When you make a wish to space,
a dimensional door shall be opened unto you."
[11:23] Yuina
But a dimensional door, not
a physical one like this?
[11:26] Mone
Yuina, talk less. Concentrate more.
[11:29] Chihori
I really think we should call it off.
SIGN Invaders
Hokuto Chihori
[11:32] Chihori
I don't want to bother them.
[11:34] Chihori
I mean, it's nap time right now on Mars.
[11:36] Yuina
Huh? Martians take naps?
[11:39] Chihori
Yeah, and if you wake them up,
they throw the remote control at you.
[11:42] Yuina
Martians throw remote controls, too?
[11:44] Chihori
What are we gonna say if they show up?
[11:48] Mone
What are we gonna say?
[11:49] Chihori
I mean, if we call them,
they'll assume we had a reason.
[11:52] Chihori
If we tell them it was for nothing,
they'll probably get mad.
[11:56] Yuina
You're right.
[11:56] Chihori
If someone called me over for
no reason, I'd get mad, too.
[12:00] Mone
But what about the guys on TV who
say they're always calling aliens?
[12:04] Mone
I bet they don't have any
reason to call them, either.
[12:07] Chihori
That's why the aliens have
recently been passing around
[12:11] Chihori
a blacklist of all the people
who call them for no reason.
[12:14] Yuina
Chihori, you sure know a lot about aliens.
[12:16] Chihori
Huh? N-No way! This is just common knowledge.
[12:20] Seiji
Hey, you girls.
[12:21] all three
Huh?!
[12:22] Seiji
What are you doing up here?
[12:24] Yuina
N-Nothing at all.
[12:25] Mone
Yeah, just corresponding with space.
[12:28] Seiji
Oh, yeah? That's fine, then.
[12:30] Chihori
Ah...
[12:31] Seiji
The hell it is!
[12:32] Seiji
You can't take the door off its
hinges without permission!
[12:34] Yuina & Mone
We're sorry.
[12:36] Chihori
No! You can't come! Go away!
[12:38] Seiji
You guys are supposed
to be the aliens, anyway.
[12:40] Seiji
What are you calling other aliens for?
[12:42] Chihori
Sorry! We didn't have a reason.
We just wanted to try!
[12:45] Yuina
I told you there's no way
any aliens would show!
[12:48] Mone
How are you gonna know if you don't try?
[12:50] Chihori
Mm-hmm. See ya.
[12:52] Yuina
What's up, Chihori?
[12:53] Chihori
Huh? Oh n-n-nothing, really!
[12:55] Yuina
Weren't you just talking to someone?
[12:57] Chihori
You're hearing things!
[12:58] Seiji
All right, let's go back and fix the door.
[13:01] all three
Okay!
[13:02] Seiji
Sheesh, giving me so much work to do.
[13:04] Mone
Aw, I guess the UFO didn't come after all.
SIGN Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SIGN Young Wai-Wai
SIGN Teppen Grand Prix
[13:15] Yayoi
After forming Young Wai-Wai,
[13:18] Yayoi
we won the local qualifier
for the Teppen Grand Prix.
[13:21] Yomogi
Wait, we're still in a flashback?
[13:23] Yuzu
L-Let's keep listening.
[13:24] Yayoi
We were summoned to the Takako-so
Manor before the nationals started.
[13:29] (Flashback) Yomogi
Yayoi, hurry up.
[13:31] (Flashback) Yayoi
Sorry!
[13:34] (Flashback) Yuzu
So today, we start living here at Takako-so!
[13:38] (Flashback) Yayoi
I'm so excited.
[13:39] (Flashback) Yomogi
Yeah.
[13:40] (Flashback) Seiji
Welcome.
[13:44] (Flashback) Seiji
I've been waiting for you.
[13:46] (Flashback) all three
Eek!
[13:47] (Flashback) Yayoi
Begone, evil spirit!
[13:49] (Flashback) Seiji
I'm a human! Homo sapiens!
[13:52] (Flashback) Yayoi
I didn't realize you were the building manager.
[13:54] (Flashback) Yayoi
I was sure you were some evil spirit that
existed outside of the human realm.
[13:58] (Flashback) Seiji
The name's Seiji.
[14:00] (Flashback) Seiji
Just think of me as the pretty-boy
manager here at Takako-so.
[14:04] (Flashback) Seiji
The founders of the Teppen Committee
[14:05] (Flashback) Seiji
lived here at Takako-so when
they were just starting out.
[14:08] (Flashback) Seiji
This apartment building has quite a history.
[14:10] (Flashback) Seiji
The first floor has the cafeteria,
baths, and manager's office.
[14:13] (Flashback) Seiji
The second floor has rooms
for each of the five groups.
[14:17] (Flashback) Seiji
And here's the cafeteria.
[14:19] (Flashback) three girls
Wow!
[14:20] (Flashback) Seiji
We also use this room as a theater.
[14:23] (Flashback) Seiji
I know you've heard already,
[14:25] (Flashback) Seiji
but teams that pass the local qualifiers
get to live with the other teams
[14:29] (Flashback) Seiji
at Teppen Committee
dormitories across the country.
[14:31] (Flashback) Seiji
The Takako-so here hosts
five teams, including you.
[14:35] (Flashback) Seiji
You'll take turns testing your material on
this stage in front of local stand-up fans.
[14:42] (Flashback) Seiji
If the audience isn't satisfied with you,
[14:45] (Flashback) Seiji
you'll be expelled from
the dorm immediately.
[14:47] (Flashback) Yuzu
You mean we'll be kicked out?
[14:49] (Flashback) Seiji
Yes.
[14:50] (Flashback) Seiji
Basically, the final qualifier is to
keep living here until the end.
[14:56] (Flashback) Yayoi
That sounds so fun!
[14:58] (Flashback) Yomogi
Yayoi?
[14:58] (Flashback) Yayoi
I mean, we get to live with comedy
trios from around the country
[15:02] (Flashback) Yayoi
and even perform routines
in front of an audience?
[15:04] (Flashback) Yayoi
It's the perfect environment!
[15:06] (Flashback) Seiji
Heh. I like that positive attitude.
[15:09] (Flashback) Yayoi
Oh, oh! I have a question!
[15:11] (Flashback) Yayoi
Why is the dorm named "Takako-so"?
[15:14] (Flashback) Seiji
There was already a Tokiwa-so,
so why not have a Takako-so, too?
[15:17] (Flashback) Yayoi
Aha!
[15:18] (Flashback) Yomogi
That made sense to you?
[15:20] (Flashback) Seiji
Next, I'll show you the
room you'll be living in.
[15:23] (Flashback) Yuzu
Oh?
[15:24] (Flashback) Yuzu
What are all those?
[15:26] (Flashback) Seiji
Oh, those?
[15:27] (Flashback) Seiji
Along with managing here, I'm also
a bodybuilder. Those are my trophies.
[15:32] (Flashback) three girls
Wow!
[15:33] (Flashback) Yayoi
That's so cool!
[15:34] (Flashback) Yayoi
A bunch of them say "first place"!
That one! And that one, too!
[15:38] (Flashback) Seiji
That's the one I'm most proud of.
[15:40] (Flashback) Seiji
Right there.
[15:41] (Flashback) Seiji
I got it when I was still an amateur.
[15:43] (Flashback) Seiji
It was the first time I won a competition.
[15:46] (Flashback) Yayoi
Huh.
[15:47] (Flashback) Yayoi
Oh. Yomogi?
[15:50] Yayoi
I still can't forget the
way Yomogi looked then.
[15:53] Yayoi
Her eyes were those of a
hunter locked on their prey.
[15:57] Yomogi
Bwahaha! Someday, I'll take the
head of that trophy for myself!
[16:02] Yomogi
Oh, come on!
[16:04] Yayoi
What's the problem now?
[16:05] Yayoi
Right when I was getting
to the main plot, too.
[16:07] Yomogi
It's a huge problem! You're making
me sound like a criminal!
[16:12] Yayoi
Huh? Then why were you staring
at the trophy like that?
[16:16] Yomogi
Well, that's because...
[16:19] Yomogi
You know my little sisters, right?
[16:21] Yuzu
Rine-chan and Miki-chan!
[16:23] Yayoi
They just visited us.
[16:25] Yuzu
That was a fun takoyaki party!
[16:26] Yomogi
The girls love playing with dolls,
[16:30] Yomogi
and they'll use any figure that's
the right size in their games.
[16:33] (Flashback) Rine
Welcome back, darling.
[16:35] (Flashback) Miki
I'm home.
[16:36] (Flashback) Rine
Would you like your bath?
Or would you like dinner?
[16:39] (Flashback) Miki
I just found out I gotta take a business
trip to Tokyo, so I'm going out again.
[16:45] (Flashback) Miki
See you later!
[16:46] (Flashback) Rine
Come back soon!
[16:47] (Flashback) Yomogi
Looks like a unique business trip.
[16:50] Yomogi
The trophies were just the right size, too,
[16:53] Yomogi
so if my sisters saw them,
I'm sure they'd try to play with them.
[16:56] Yomogi
That's what I was thinking.
[16:57] Yayoi
Oh, was that it? I felt so sure...
[17:00] Yomogi
Quit trying to make me look bad!
[17:02] Yuzu
After that, Yayoi and I went
to send the girls home.
[17:07] Yomogi
I cleaned up after the party
and took out the trash.
[17:10] three girls
Huh?!
[17:12] Yuzu
When we got back, the trophy
was sitting on the table.
[17:14] three girls
What?!
[17:15] Yayoi
Isn't this the manager's favorite trophy?
[17:18] Yayoi
Where's its head?
[17:19] Yuzu
What happened?
SIGN Young Wai-Wai
[17:25] Seiji
Young Wai-Wai, are you there?
[17:29] three girls
What do we do?
[17:31] Yayoi
Ugh, and we're supposed to
perform our routine tomorrow.
[17:34] Yomogi
Our skit isn't even ready, and now
we're tied up with this, too!
[17:37] Yuzu
At this rate, we might be
blamed and kicked out!
[17:42] Yayoi
Ugh. I'm so hungry.
[17:44] Yuzu
Right after our takoyaki party?
[17:46] Yayoi
Hey, Yomogi, what happened
to the leftover takoyaki stuff?
[17:50] Yomogi
Oh, that? I screwed it up,
so I threw it all out.
[17:54] Yuzu
Screwed it up? Even though your
family runs a takoyaki shop?
[17:57] Yomogi
When you were taking my sisters back,
[17:59] Yomogi
I wanted to use up the batter,
so I started making more.
[18:02] Yomogi
I tasted one, and...
[18:04] Yomogi
For some reason, it was super tough.
[18:07] Yomogi
I've never messed up that bad.
[18:09] Yayoi
No worries! Sometimes, an
octopus shoots squid ink, too!
[18:12] Yomogi
You're not helping!
[18:15] Yomogi
By the way, Yayoi, I've been wondering...
[18:18] Yayoi
Huh?
[18:19] Yomogi
What happened to your forehead?
[18:21] Yayoi
Oh, that?
[18:22] Yayoi
When your sisters were visiting,
[18:24] Yayoi
the manager asked me to help
him carry some things in.
[18:27] Yomogi
Oh right, just for a little bit.
[18:29] Yayoi
Then, when I got back to the room first,
[18:32] Yayoi
the floor was covered with toys.
[18:37] Yayoi
I tripped on one and fell.
[18:39] Yuzu
When I got there after you,
I found you on the ground.
[18:44] Yuzu
It sure surprised me!
[18:45] Yayoi
Aaah!
[18:46] Yuzu
What's wrong?
[18:47] Yayoi
Don't yell so loud!
You scared the heck out of me!
[18:50] Yayoi
Right then, right when I face-planted,
[18:53] Yayoi
I thought I saw a shining
face smiling at me.
[18:55] Yayoi
I thought it was an angel from
heaven coming to take me away.
[18:58] Yomogi
Hold on. Do you think
that could have been...
[19:00] Yuzu
Hey, didn't you say that your sisters
take things that are the same size
[19:04] Yuzu
as their dolls and play house with them?
[19:07] Yomogi
Yeah.
[19:07] Yuzu
If the two of them went into the hallway and
took the trophy when we weren't looking,
[19:13] Yuzu
played with it, and left it behind
when they went outside...
[19:17] Yuzu
Then when Yayoi came back...
[19:26] Yayoi
Oh no! I was the culprit all along!
[19:28] Yomogi
Hold on a second. If you were the culprit,
then where did the trophy go?
[19:33] Yuzu
We didn't find it until the girls went home.
[19:36] Yayoi
That's right.
[19:37] three girls
Oh.
[19:39] three girls
Ah.
[19:40] Yomogi
It must've gotten stuck up there, and then
fell back down while we were gone.
[19:48] three girls
Huh? What?!
[19:50] Yomogi
Now we know why the body suddenly appeared,
[19:52] Yomogi
but we still don't know where the head is!
[19:54] Yuzu
I didn't see it when I cleaned up the toys.
[19:57] Yayoi
I did hit my head pretty hard.
[20:00] Yomogi
If the head flew off,
where could it have landed?
[20:03] Yomogi
Oh! The takoyaki batter!
[20:06] Yayoi
No way!
[20:08] Yuzu
Does that mean your messed-up,
tough takoyaki...
[20:13] Yuzu
What did you do with it?
[20:14] Yomogi
I spit it out and tossed it in the trash.
[20:17] Yayoi
Where's the trash bag?
[20:18] Yomogi
I just took it out!
[20:24] Yayoi
Oh! A crow!
[20:26] three girls
The head!
[20:31] three girls
Aaah!
[20:34] Yayoi
And swoosh! It just flew off.
[20:38] Yomogi
That's crazy!
[20:39] Yuzu
What happened next?
[20:40] Yayoi
Well, it was all the crow's fault anyway,
[20:42] Yayoi
so I treated the manager to a bunch
of fried chicken, and he forgave me.
[20:45] Yomogi
Oh, give me a break.
I think I'll call it here.
[20:47] three girls
Thank you very much!
[20:53] Seiji
Hmph. But just this once!
[21:03] Yayoi
All right, in honor of Young Wai-Wai
successfully testing out a routine,
[21:08] Yayoi
cheers!
[21:09] everyone
Cheers!
[21:16] Yayoi
This is the okonomiyaki from my
uncle's shop. It's really good!
[21:21] Yomogi
We finished our routine in time,
and now we can relax a little.
[21:24] Miyu
It was hilarious! How'd ya come up with it?
[21:28] Yomogi
Come up with it? It's kind of a true story...
[21:32] Kana
It was that high quality, and it
was non-fiction? That's insane!
[21:36] Saeka
Well, this is a little dull.
Do we have another one in gold?
[21:40] Chitose
Are you nuts?
[21:41] Yuina
It's fluffy and delicious!
[21:43] Chihori
It tastes like the fields of Jupiter.
Sure brings back memories!
[21:46] Yuina & Mone
Huh?
[21:47] Yuzu
I still wonder what happened
to the trophy's head.
[21:50] Yayoi
Yeah. Where did it end up?
[21:53] Yomogi
Oh well. It's all good.
[22:04] [SONG] Lead
Go! We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
[22:09] [SONG] back
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
[22:16] [SONG] lead
Hi! Hi! Hello! Let's get
on with the show today.
[22:19] [SONG] lead
We've just got four minutes, but we
hope you hear everything that we say.
[22:22] [SONG] back
Hey there cutie, hey there cutie,
didn't even miss a beat there, cutie.
[22:24] [SONG] lead
We hope you enjoy the show today.
[22:27] [SONG] lead
Here at home with you, in your living room,
we'll put a twinkle into your eyes.
[22:33] [SONG] lead
We've all dreamed to see if we could be
on a stage so free. Now it's a reality!
[22:42] [SONG] lead
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
[22:45] [SONG] lead
It's all good when we're laughing together.
[22:48] [SONG] lead
If we bomb, slip, even if we cry,
so what! That's still part of our destiny.
[22:53] [SONG] lead
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
[22:56] [SONG] lead
We'll hit it big if we
keep laughing together.
[22:59] [SONG] lead
We never knew that life
could ever be like this,
[23:02] [SONG] lead
and now that we're going, you know
there's no way we'll ever stop!
[23:05] [SONG] lead
We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
[23:09] [SONG] back
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
[23:10] [SONG] lead
All of our searching, all of our
training is fading out into the past.
[23:16] [SONG] lead
But to us now, those memories
will always be so precious.
[23:22] [SONG] lead
All of the tears, all of the pain,
rewriting life with our own words.
[23:27] [SONG] lead
We want to laugh it all away with you,
right up to the end. And that's a wrap!
SIGN The Cattle Chapter
E2 - The Cattle Chapter
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:04] all three
Hello!
[00:05] Yayoi
I'm Yayoi.
[00:07] Yomogi
I'm Yomogi.
[00:08] Yuzu
I'm Yuzu.
[00:09] Yuzu
Y!
[00:10] Yayoi
Y!
[00:10] Yomogi
Y!
[00:11] all three
We're Young Wai-Wai!
[00:12] Yayoi
You know, I think I've
been pretty lazy recently,
[00:15] Yayoi
so I decided to write up a
proper schedule for myself.
[00:17] Yomogi
Oh, nice idea.
[00:18] Yayoi
Twenty-four hours for me is like...
[00:38] Yuzu
Morning!
[00:39] Yayoi
Morning.
[00:41] Yomogi
I'm home.
[00:42] Yuzu
Welcome back.
[00:44] Yayoi
Good morning, Yomogine.
[00:45] Yomogi
Who are you calling Yomogine?
[00:47] Yomogi
When did I become a
naturalized French citizen?
[00:49] Yayoi
Still early, and you're already in peak form.
[00:53] Yomogi
Anyway, I found this on the
floor by the front door.
SIGN Fulfill Your Greatest Wishes
[00:57] Yayoi
A Watson?
[00:58] Yomogi
An ema!
[00:58] Yuzu
A wishing plaque? Seiji-san did
say there was a shrine nearby...
[01:01] Yayoi
I wonder if someone in the dorm wrote it.
[01:04] Yuzu
I don't know what it says,
but I hope the wish comes true.
[01:07] Yayoi
Yeah.
[01:08] Yomogi
Tonight, eight o'clock, head
of state, assassination.
SIGN tonight 8 o'clock head of state assassination
[01:14] all three
I hope this one doesn't come true!
[01:17] [SONG] all
Yeah!
[01:17] [SONG] Yomogi
So, what's comedy?
[01:18] [SONG] Yayoi
Yo!
[01:18] [SONG] Yuzu
Tough question, for me
[01:19] [SONG] Yayoi
What could it be?
It's too far out to see!
[01:21] [SONG] Yuzu & Yomogi
Be! See!
[01:22] [SONG] Yomogi
Boke and tsukkomi, in the zone
[01:22] [SONG] Yayoi
Ye ye, in the zone!
[01:23] [SONG] Yuzu
We got god-tier jokes on the horizon
[01:24] [SONG] Yayoi & Yomogi
God! Horizon!
[01:26] [SONG] Kana
Wanna see us split into bunshin
[01:26] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Yeah!
[01:27] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Bullets!
[01:27] [SONG] Kana
And hear gags flying at you like bullets?
[01:29] [SONG] Kana
Leave it to comedy ninjas!
[01:30] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Nin-nin!
[01:30] [SONG] Saeka
High society, celebrity
[01:30] [SONG] Hikari & Mako
High! Celebrity!
[01:32] [SONG] Saeka
The cleanest jokes are our priority
[01:33] [SONG] Hikari & Mako
Priority!
[01:34] [SONG] Miyu
Yeah, Akudare, making you all laugh
[01:35] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Yeah!
[01:36] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Ah! Ah!
[01:37] [SONG] Miyu
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back
[01:37] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back!
[01:39] [SONG] Yuina
We. Are. The. Invaders. Yo.
[01:40] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
Ah Invaders
[01:41] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
That should tell you all you need to know
[01:42] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
Need to know!
[01:42] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Yeah!
[01:43] [SONG] Yuzu
Shake it up, Wai-Wai!
[01:43] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Wai-Wai!
[01:44] [SONG] Yomogi
Heat up the timeline!
[01:44] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Timeline!
[01:45] [SONG] Yayoi
Scramble for the win,
we won't give up our pride
[01:47] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Pride!
[01:47] [SONG] Yomogi
Found a new line
[01:48] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Oh!
[01:48] [SONG] Yuzu
Gonna sweep the prime time
[01:49] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Oh!
[01:49] [SONG] Yayoi
Who's on top then?
[01:51] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Gotta take the Teppen!
[01:51] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina
Take it to the top
[01:52] [SONG] all call
Doin' it for real!
[01:53] [SONG] Kana; Saeka
We'll show you, giving everything
we got, oh yeah
[01:55] [SONG] all call
Oh yeah
[01:56] [SONG] Miyu; Yuina
Gonna face the challenge head-on
[01:56] [SONG] all call
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
[01:58] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina
Running straight ahead
[01:58] [SONG] all call
Yo! Yo! Yo!
[01:59] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai
Take it to the top
[02:00] [SONG] all call
Yeah that's right!
[02:02] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai
It's show
[02:02] [SONG] Yomogi
Don't slow down to hear them
call you funny, not a day
[02:05] [SONG] Yuzu
You'll never reach the top that way
[02:05] [SONG] all call
Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh yeah!
[02:07] [SONG] Yayoi
You know it's true, what we say
[02:09] [SONG] all call
Hey!
[02:10] [SONG] all sing
But this isn't about us just getting a laugh
[02:13] [SONG] all call
Yeah! Yeah!
[02:15] [SONG] all sing
That's not why we're here
It's much bigger, bigger than all that
[02:19] [SONG] all call
All that
[02:20] [SONG] all sing
We want to get
[02:20] [SONG] all call
We want to get, yeah!
[02:23] [SONG] all sing
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
[02:23] [SONG] all call
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
[02:27] [SONG] all sing
Yeah if we are the ones
that are making you laugh
[02:28] [SONG] all call
Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye!
[02:32] [SONG] all sing
We gotta go so hard it'll really,
really give us that, you know?
[02:37] [SONG] all sing
Top of the laugh
[02:37] [SONG] all call
Top of the laugh Ye~ah!
[02:40] [SONG] all sing
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way.
We're gonna make it to the top one day!
[02:40] [SONG] all call
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way,
oh! We're gonna make it to the top one day!
[02:45] [SONG] Yayoi
Aw yeah!
SIGN The Cattle Chapter
SIGN Tokyo
SIGN News
SIGN PRESIDENT ARRIVES IN JAPAN
SIGN YESTERDAY 7:20 PM
[02:56] Announcer
The president landed at Kansai
International Airport yesterday
[02:59] Announcer
to take part in the summit meetings.
[03:01] Yayoi
The president really is here.
SIGN tonight 8 o'clock head of state assassination
[03:05] Yuzu
But an assassination?
[03:07] Yomogi
What should we do? This isn't a wish,
it's a plan! A declaration, even!
[03:11] Yayoi
C-Calm down, Yomogi!
[03:14] Yayoi
Let me get my glowing stick.
[03:15] Yayoi
When it flashes, you'll forget everything!
[03:18] Yomogi
You're the one who needs
to calm down, Agent Y!
[03:20] Yayoi
If that's where you found it,
[03:22] Yayoi
then someone in Takako-so
must be after the president!
[03:24] Yomogi
W-We need to tell the police.
[03:26] Yayoi
You can't!
[03:28] Yayoi
If you do that, they'll catch
the person who wrote it!
[03:30] Yuzu
But they're planning an assassination.
[03:33] Yayoi
I know, but all of us here
are on the same side!
[03:36] Yayoi
We came together because we
love comedy. We're all friends here.
[03:40] Yayoi
I don't want anyone to get arrested.
[03:41] Yomogi
Yayoi...
SIGN tonight 8 o'clock head of state assassination
[03:44] Yayoi
All right, then. I'll find out who wrote it.
[03:47] Yayoi
Then I'll stop the assassination!
[03:49] Yomogi
Stop it? But how?
[03:51] Yayoi
We'll talk it out. There's no way a
comedy fan would be totally evil.
[03:54] Yuzu
Good point. If you can talk it out,
maybe they'll come to their senses.
[03:58] Yuzu
I agree with Yayoi's idea.
[04:02] Yomogi
Okay, fine. I'll go along with it.
[04:04] Yomogi
I guess we should be
proud that the job landed
[04:06] Yomogi
on manzai comedians who are
so good at eakingspay.
[04:08] Yayoi
I knew you'd understand,
Yomogi! That's my man!
[04:10] Yomogi
I'm totally a girl!
[04:19] Mone
Seiji-san, where's the milk?
[04:22] Seiji
Aw, sorry. All we have are protein drinks.
[04:24] Mone
Eh...
[04:25] Miyu
Natto from Mito is so delish!
[04:28] Announcer
The president successfully arrived at the summit.
[04:28] Misao
Did you buy that yourself?
[04:30] Miyu
That's right! To help
spread Ibaraki culture!
[04:31] Announcer
That's all for the news today.
SIGN Tokyo
SIGN News
SIGN SUMMIT MEETING
SIGN All-Day
SIGN Rampage Detective
[04:33] TV voice
All-Day Rampage Detective!*
[04:36] TV voice*
The hit show, now airing!
[04:37] Yuzu
The assassination is at 8:00 tonight.
[04:40] Yuzu
That's what it said, right?
[04:42] Yomogi
We've got to find who's planning it and
convince them to stop before then.
[04:52] Yomogi
Say, Mako-chan, what are you hiding there?
[04:54] Mako
Huh?
[04:55] Yayoi
That shape... Could it be...
[04:58] Yayoi
A pistol?
[05:00] Hikari
We're only allowed one banana a day.
[05:02] Mako
I'm sorry!
[05:04] Hikari
Geez, you're such a scrounger.
[05:06] Mako
I'm not scrounging!
[05:07] Mako
I could buy the island of New Guinea
and all its bananas, if I wanted!
[05:07] Hikari
Yeah, whatever.
[05:09] Yayoi
Ugh. This is a wild goose chase.
[05:11] Yuzu
Hey, take a look over there.
[05:13] Yuzu
Kana-chan from Bullet Kunoichi.
[05:15] Yuzu
She hasn't been looking well. I wonder why.
[05:18] Yomogi
Could she be nervous
about the assassination?
[05:21] Yayoi
Maybe she's tortured with guilt.
[05:26] Kana
I feel so sick.
[05:28] Kana
Why do I have to run a 10K
in the morning, anyway?
[05:30] Iroha
You're too out of shape, Kana.
[05:33] Iroha
You gotta build up some body strength.
[05:33] Chitose
Uh-huh.
[05:35] Kana
I'm gonna die before I tell a single joke.
[05:37] Kana
Then they're gonna build
a pyramid for my grave!
[05:40] Chitose
You think you're an ancient
Egyptian king or something?
[05:47] Yuzu
Whoever it is, they aren't
letting their guard down.
[05:49] Yomogi
I'm starting to wonder if we'll even
find the assassin before tonight.
[05:53] Yayoi
Don't worry about it! We've still
got lots and lots of time.
[05:56] Yomogi
But you know, this is someone
trying to kill the president.
[06:01] Yomogi
Do you really think they'd listen to us?
[06:03] Yuzu
In that case, let's try something else.
[06:05] Yuzu
Let's poison them!
[06:07] Yayoi & Yomogi
Poison?!
SIGN Young Wai-Wai
[06:09] Yuzu
We'll spike Yomogi's takoyaki with a poison
that makes people get numb and tingly.
[06:13] Mako
This is a disaster!
SIGN Young Wai-Wai
[06:15] Yuzu
The assassin won't be able to move.
[06:17] Yuzu
If they can't get away,
they'll have to talk to us, right?
[06:20] Yomogi
Man, that's dark! But how do we get
them to eat it in the first place?
[06:24] Yayoi
If we tell them the takoyaki
will raise their assassin stats,
[06:28] Yayoi
wouldn't they think it's
a power-up and chow down?
[06:31] Yomogi
Takoyaki doesn't give stat buffs!
[06:33] Hikari
Poison?
[06:34] Saeka
Are you certain that's what
they were talking about?
[06:37] Mako
Without a doubt!
[06:38] Mako
They had evil grins on their faces and
were plotting to poison people to death!
SIGN ° For Illustration Only
[06:42] Saeka
But poison whom?
[06:45] Mako
Isn't it obvious? Every single one of us!
[06:48] Mako
They want to take out everyone in the dorm!
[06:51] Hikari
To be sure, with their rivals out of the way,
[06:53] Hikari
they would have an advantage in
the Teppen Grand Prix finals.
[06:55] Saeka
How could they go that far?
[06:58] Saeka
I've made a decision.
[07:00] Saeka
Let's show Young Wai-Wai every
ounce of hospitality we can!
[07:03] Mako
Huh?
[07:04] Hikari
What do you mean?
[07:05] Saeka
They're willing to use inhuman means to win.
[07:08] Saeka
I'm sure they've been debased
by the poverty in their hearts.
[07:13] Saeka
Right now, those girls could be compared
to a Hitsumabushi without the grilled eel.
[07:17] Saeka
Pitiful! Simply too much white rice!
[07:20] Saeka
We're the only ones who can save them.
[07:22] Saeka
Let's soothe and comfort
their ailing hearts.
[07:26] Saeka
Then they'll see poison for the crime
it is and surely abandon their plans!
[07:39] Seiji
Yeah, macho macho!
[07:41] Seiji
Right macho, left macho!
Macho up, macho down!
[07:45] Seiji
And pose!
[07:47] Seiji
Hey! Who said that you could rest?!
[07:50] Yayoi
Is this some kind of dance?
[07:52] Yomogi
I have no idea what part
it's supposed to work out.
[07:55] Yuzu
I'm so exhausted.
[07:57] Seiji
Oh well... Let's take a short break.
[08:02] Saeka
Young Wai-Wai members, we'd like to
offer you some refreshments today.
[08:07] Saeka
Preparations!
[08:08] Yayoi; Yomogi; Yuzu
Huh?
[08:12] Saeka
Well, then, please help yourselves.
[08:14] Yayoi; Yomogi; Yuzu
Huh?!
[08:15] Hikari
Here's some Japanese sweets, too!
[08:17] Hikari
I had them sent from home.
[08:20] Yomogi
What's this all about?
[08:21] Kana
Hey, that's unfair! We want to eat some, too!
[08:23] Saeka
You may not.
[08:24] Saeka
We prepared this only for the
members of Young Wai-Wai.
SIGN Against Extreme Weight Loss
[08:28] Chitose
That's favoritism! No playing favorites!
[08:30] Iroha; Chitose
We protest!
[08:31] Hina
Huh? Empty...
[08:33] Hina
My throat's so dry.
[08:35] Yuzu
Um...
[08:37] Yuzu
I bought an extra one. Would you like it?
SIGN Lemon
[08:42] Mako
Could that be... the poison?
[08:43] Hina
Ah, lemon's not my thing.
[08:46] Yuzu
Not your favorite? But this
one has a mild flavor.
[08:49] Mako
Stop! You'll die!
[08:50] Yuzu
Huh? Do you really hate it that much?
[08:52] Hina
Um...
[08:53] Yayoi
Finders keepers!
[08:56] Yayoi
So tasty, tho!
[08:58] Mako
What?
[08:59] Yomogi
Um, this is very generous,
but we can't accept it.
[09:02] Yayoi
What?!
[09:03] Yuzu
Yayoi!
[09:04] Saeka
Oh, really? That's too bad.
[09:20] Yuina
Are you watching that same show again?
[09:23] Mone
Isn't it an awesome show?
[09:26] Yuina
What's it called?
[09:28] Mone
All-Day Rampage Detective.
[09:32] Chihori
Earthlings sure are robust.
[09:36] Yuina
You're talking like an alien again.
[09:38] Chihori
N-No, I'm not! I'm not an alien!
[09:41] Chihori
No Earth, no life!
[09:43] Mone
It'd be pretty funny if you
really were an alien, though.
[09:44] Kana
Okay!
[09:53] Kana
Infiltration successful.
[09:54] Kana
Now I just have to locate
and acquire the target.
[09:59] Kana
Apologies, Celebs. Even people like
me want to eat gourmet sweets.
[10:05] Hikari
It wasn't poisoned after all.
[10:07] Mako
Is it possible they've realized
that we're on to them?
[10:10] Hikari
In that case, we'll have to pay them off.
[10:14] Kana
Huh?!
[10:15] Mako
You're gonna give money to the
members of Young Wai-Wai?
[10:18] Hikari
Financial influence can be very
helpful for filling an empty heart.
[10:21] Saeka
If we can resolve this with a small amount
of money, that may be the best way.
[10:25] Saeka
How does 500 million yen per person sound?
[10:28] Kana
F-Five hundred million yen?
[10:30] Mako
That's too much! That would
only encourage them!
[10:33] Saeka
Really?
[10:34] Hikari
I wonder.
[10:41] Iroha
A bribe like that isn't very subtle.
SIGN Takoyaki
SIGN Fancy
SIGN Fancy
[10:43] Kana
I bet they'll use it to pay off some bigwig
in the Teppen Grand Prix and buy the win!
[10:48] Chitose
Wait, what's with the wetsuit?
[10:48] Kana
It isn't fair when we're
out here doing our best!
[10:51] Chitose
Yo, what's with the wetsuit?
[10:51] Kana
Iroha-senpai, Chitose-senpai,
help me out here!
[10:54] Kana
I want the Celebs to start
taking comedy seriously again!
[10:59] Chitose
You aren't listening!
[11:02] Saeka
We can't let the Young Wai-Wai
girls turn to a life of crime.
[11:06] Saeka
We're the only ones who can
keep that from happening.
[11:09] Yuzu
We still haven't found the assassin.
[11:12] Yomogi
And we're almost out of time, too!
[11:15] Yayoi
We'll have to do it during
the afternoon rehearsals.
[11:17] Kana
We have to stop the bribery!
[11:19] Kana
We gotta hustle, Bullet Kunoichi!
[11:22] Saeka
We will surely prevent the poison attack.
[11:24] Saeka
I swear it on the name of Celebri-Tea!
[11:27] Yayoi
We've got to stop the assassination.
[11:29] Yayoi
Let's do this, Young Wai-Wai!
SIGN Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SIGN Love Saves Ibaraki
SIGN Akudare Kingdom
[11:42] Yuina
My name is Jupitris Naru-Naru Neiji Yuina.
[11:45] Yuina
The Earth is in danger!
[11:46] Mone
No need to worry. We are in
possession of this secret weapon.
[11:50] Chihori
It is true that Jovians are
disgusted by Yubari melons.
[11:54] Mone
Reconciliation talks are also an option.
[11:55] Mone
We are prepared to offer
a Grinding Lover cookie.
[11:57] Chihori
There it is!
[11:58] Chihori
The cookie taking Mars by storm!
Grinding Lover!
SIGN Love Saves Ibaraki
[12:02] Miyu
Love saves Ibaraki! Let's go, let's go!
[12:06] Misao
That's a lot less to save than the Earth!
[12:07] Hina
Why would anyone save a place like Ibaraki?
[12:10] Hina
There ain't nothing good there, anyway.
[12:12] Miyu
That ain't true!
[12:13] Miyu
A while ago, I saw a dude having
a friendly chat with a cop.
[12:17] Misao
He was probably getting a citation!
[12:19] Misao
Don't put a positive spin on it!
[12:21] Yayoi
My uncle's home is an
okonomiyaki restaurant.
[12:24] Yomogi
My home is a takoyaki place.
They're both floury foods, right?
[12:27] Yomogi
That's why we named our old duo
Konamons, for "Flour People."
[12:31] Yuzu
That's so cool! I feel kind of left out.
[12:34] Yuzu
Maybe I should start a store, too.
[12:36] Yomogi
Why not? What'll you sell?
[12:37] Yuzu
Bread made from flower seeds!
[12:39] Yomogi
You can't really make bread that way!
[12:40] Yomogi
And that isn't the "flour" we meant.
[12:42] Yayoi
I actually bought some
seedy bread the other day.
[12:45] Yayoi
The bread shop was run by a married couple,
[12:48] Yayoi
but the husband was cheating
with a young employee and...
[12:51] Yomogi
That's a different kind of seedy!
[12:53] Saeka
That was simply lovely!
[12:56] Saeka
Young Wai-Wai, your stand-up
really is the best.
[12:59] Yomogi
Oh. Thank you kindly.
[13:01] Saeka
This isn't much, considering the transcendent
comedy you've shared with us,
[13:04] Saeka
but please accept this gift.
[13:09] Saeka
It's worth 500 million yen.
[13:11] Yuzu
Five hundred million?!
[13:12] Yayoi
It's blinding me!
[13:13] Yomogi
Yeah, no, we can't accept that!
[13:15] Mako
My eyes! My eyes!
[13:18] Hikari
You okay, Mako?
[13:19] Yuzu
Isn't this suspicious?
[13:21] Yayoi & Yomogi
Huh?
[13:21] Yuzu
This might mean they want to pay
us to drop our investigation.
[13:25] Yomogi
It couldn't be...
[13:27] Hikari
Saeka is the heiress to a conglomerate
that includes the company
[13:30] Hikari
with the largest market share
of tea leaves in Japan.
[13:33] Saeka
Oh, dear. But Hikari here is
the daughter of the president
[13:36] Saeka
of the largest sweets company
in Aichi Prefecture.
[13:38] Mako
I'm pretty rich, too!
[13:40] Mako
I can eat two cup noodles in one sitting.
[13:42] Saeka
There's something I've been
thinking of purchasing recently.
[13:44] Mako
Eh...
[13:45] Hikari
What is it?
[13:46] Saeka
Tokyo Tower.
[13:48] Hikari
Yeah, you gotta b—
[13:50] Hikari
Well, maybe you could, Saeka.
[13:51] Saeka
When I checked my purse,
I had just enough to cover it.
[13:54] Hikari
You carry that much around?
[13:58] Kana
Hear me out!
[13:59] Kana
The most important thing for stand-up is the
passion to chase after comedy single-mindedly!
[14:03] Chitose
That's exactly right!
[14:04] Chitose
And Celebri-Tea has what it takes!
[14:06] Iroha
Let's all fight fair, Celebri-Tea!
[14:09] Iroha
We know you're strong enough to do it!
[14:11] Hikari
What was that? Was it really manzai?
[14:13] Mako
Is it a different style or something?
[14:14] Saeka
It seems more like they're trying to
teach us a lesson than tell us a joke.
[14:18] Yayoi
Hey, hey, wasn't that weird?
[14:20] Yayoi
Maybe they're trying to get pumped
up for tonight's assassination.
[14:23] Yomogi
An assassination isn't something
you get "pumped up" for!
[14:26] Mako
Hey. I just heard you say "assassination."
[14:29] Mako
Are you trying to poison
Bullet Kunoichi first?
[14:32] Saeka
You've left us no other choice, have you?
[14:35] Saeka
Members of Young Wai-Wai,
you mustn't do anything rash!
[14:39] Saeka
I can see straight through
everything you're thinking!
[14:43] Yomogi
Huh? Straight through?
[14:45] Yayoi
Do you think they know we're
trying to stop the assassination?
[14:48] Saeka
I can understand how you all feel.
[14:51] Saeka
However, nobody has the right to get
in the way of anyone else's dream!
[14:55] Yayoi
I guess maybe that's some kind of a dream...
[14:58] Yuzu
But if we don't get in the way,
something terrible will happen!
[15:01] Kana
It's good to have dreams.
[15:02] Kana
But you know, Saeka-san,
if your dream truly is sincere,
[15:06] Kana
I really think you have to fight
fair and square to reach it!
[15:11] Yomogi
A fair fight would be a disaster, too!
[15:14] Kana
You gotta chase your dreams fairly!
[15:14] Kanae
Don't do anything rash, Young Wai-Wai!
[15:14] Yayoi
What are you talking about?
[15:16] Seiji
All of you...
[15:17] Seiji
You're supposed to be
rehearsing your routines!
[15:19] Seiji
If you keep squabbling,
[15:21] Seiji
I'll make you do 30
dumbbell concentration curls!
[15:23] Yomogi
The punishment still doesn't fit the crime!
[15:31] Misao
That was a total mess. Why was
everybody acting so strange?
[15:34] Hina
We had no clue what was happening,
so maybe we're the weirdos.
[15:38] Hina
We are from Ibaraki, after all.
[15:40] Misao
How does that explain anything?
[15:42] Miyu
Strange. It's gotta be
around here somewhere.
[15:45] Misao
What is? What are you looking for?
[15:47] Misao
What did you drag us along for?
[15:50] Miyu
I figured out the one thing
that this city really needs.
[15:54] Miyu
More Ibaraki! So I've decided
to build up Ibaraki here!
[15:58] Misao
Do you mean something
like a tourism showroom?
[16:02] Miyu
Yeah! Good idea, right?
[16:04] Miyu
I've been looking for the right location.
[16:08] Miyu
I've already got a few candidates.
[16:10] Miyu
Now we just gotta take a look.
[16:13] Yuina
Why do we have a cow?
[16:15] Mone
As we're from Hokkaido, we need a glass
of fresh-squeezed milk in the morning.
[16:20] Mone
We needed a cow for that.
[16:22] Yuina
But how do we have a cow?
[16:23] Chihori
I found it wandering around.
[16:25] Yuina
You don't just find cows
wandering around!
[16:27] Mone
I guess we got really lucky, huh.
[16:29] Yuina
Luck doesn't explain something like this!
[16:31] Yuina
We can't keep it at Takako-so,
anyway. It's a cow!
[16:34] Mone
That's right. Pets aren't
allowed at Takako-so.
[16:38] Mone
That's why we gotta find a
good home for it to live in.
[16:41] Chihori
The place the real estate agent talked
about should be right around here.
[16:46] Mone
He sure was surprised when we asked if
he had a good house for a cow, though.
[16:51] Yuina
For sure.
[16:52] Mone
Oh.
[16:53] Mone & Miyu
There it is.
[16:54] Misao
Howdy, Invaders. What are y'all doin' here?
[16:56] Mone
That's our question.
[16:56] Miyu
Oh, this is just like I imagined!
[16:59] Miyu
It'll make a great Ibaraki shop!
[17:02] Mone
Now, wait a second. We're planning
to make this our cow's new home.
[17:06] Miyu
What are you talkin' about? I found it first!
[17:09] Mone
We beat you by 0.1 seconds. So there!
[17:12] Miyu
No stinkin' way!
[17:13] Chihori
C'mon, Mone, you know you
can't get in a fight.
[17:15] Misao
Miyu, you're not supposed to start trouble.
[17:17] Yuina
Well, then, how about we let
the cow run the Ibaraki shop?
[17:20] Yuina
Would that be okay?
[17:21] Mone & Miyu
No way!
[17:22] Mone
Cows from Hokkaido are way too sensitive.
[17:25] Mone
Being surrounded with natto and pots of
monkfish stew will stress them out.
[17:28] Misao
What kind of image is that?!
[17:30] Miyu
Ibaraki punks will pick a
fight with any cow they see.
[17:33] Miyu
It won't work!
[17:33] Misao
Who has a death wish like that?!
[17:35] Yuina
Back us up here, Chihori.
[17:37] Mone
It's a cow house, not an
Ibaraki shop, right? Right?
[17:41] Chihori
Well, okay. The objective data says...
[17:44] Miyu
Data?
[17:45] Chihori
I just found a poll of Martians,
Jovians, and Saturnians,
[17:49] Chihori
asking which prefecture
they'd most like to live in,
[17:51] Chihori
in which Ibaraki ranked last
for five years straight.
[17:53] Misao
What kind of ranking is that?
[17:55] Hina
Now, who just made fun of Ibaraki?
[17:58] Mone
Um, Hina?
[17:59] Hina
Which of you creeps is
making fun of Ibaraki?
[18:02] Hina
Why the heck do we have
to take that from you?
[18:05] Hina
You wanna be tossed into
a monkfish stew, too?!
[18:07] Hina
You wanna take a shoulder throw from
one of the seals at Aqua World? Huh?!
[18:11] Chihori
I don't know what you want me to say.
[18:14] Miyu
She mad.
[18:15] Misao
Geez. She's fine joking about herself,
[18:18] Misao
but when someone else makes fun
of Ibaraki, she always loses it.
[18:20] Yayoi
Hold it right there!
[18:22] Yuina
W-What?!
[18:23] Yuzu
We've been quietly tailing the Invaders.
[18:26] Mone
How come?
[18:27] Yayoi
Heh-heh.
[18:28] Yayoi
My dazzling powers of deduction
[18:30] Yayoi
have revealed that the Invaders
are the most likely culprits!
SIGN Presidential
Assassination
SIGN Who Benefits?
SIGN Aliens Targeting
the Earth
SIGN Invaders
[18:34] Mako
Stop right there!
[18:35] Yuina
What is it this time?
[18:37] Saeka
We had good reason to tail
the Young Wai-Wai members
[18:41] Saeka
who were tailing the Invaders members.
[18:43] Yuina
Tailing the tail?
[18:45] Mako
Just watch! We'll stop
Young Wai-Wai's evil plan!
[18:48] Mako
We know all about it!
[18:49] Mako
The cow was going be a test
subject for their poison!
[18:52] Hikari
If a poison can kill a cow, it can
most certainly kill a human.
[18:56] Hikari
You sure thought this through.
[18:57] Saeka
Please, stop this now.
[18:59] Saeka
Please don't poison
innocent people and cows!
[19:02] Yomogi
What's with all this talk about poison?
[19:04] Kana
Hold it right there!
[19:06] Yuina
Another group?
[19:07] Iroha
We had good reason to tail Celebri-Tea,
[19:10] Iroha
who were tailing Young Wai-Wai,
who were tailing the Invaders!
[19:15] Misao
I'm totally lost right now.
[19:17] Kana
Celebs! Cease your dastardly bribery!
[19:20] Kana
We know you were going to use
that cow for high-quality beef
[19:23] Kana
to bribe the Teppen Grand Prix bigwigs with!
[19:25] Chitose
You knew that money might be traced,
[19:27] Chitose
so you decided to pay your bribes
with steak. A truly clever plan!
[19:30] Saeka
What are you talking about?
[19:32] Hikari
I really don't think that
cow is meant to be eaten.
[19:35] Mako
Well, I'd take a bite.
[19:36] Mone
What's your problem, anyway?
[19:38] Yayoi
Can you kill someone with milk
if they're lactose intolerant?
[19:39] Mako
How could you poison such
a delicious-looking cow?
[19:39] Mone
The cow is just for milk!
[19:41] Yuina
Come on, what is this all about?
SIGN tonight 8 o'clock head of state assassination
[19:51] Chihori
I'm so sorry! They won't
let us keep cows here.
[19:55] Chihori
Please take it home!
[19:59] Chihori
I sent the cow home.
[20:00] Mone
Huh? How?
[20:02] Yomogi
Oh, come on, there's no
way we'd poison anyone.
[20:05] Saeka
It's such an insult that you could
ever think we would bribe anyone!
[20:08] Kana
I'm really sorry!
[20:09] Chitose
Kana always jumps to conclusions.
[20:11] Mako
Oh, yeah, she does!
[20:13] Hikari
You too, Mako.
[20:14] Mako
Um...
[20:14] Yayoi
I guess it was all just a misunderstanding.
[20:17] Yuzu
But if so, what was the ema plaque about?
[20:19] Seiji
Oh? This symbol...
SIGN tonight 8 o'clock head of state assassination
[20:21] Yayoi
Do you recognize it, Seiji-san?
[20:23] Seiji
It's from All-Day Rampage Detective.
Haven't you seen it?
[20:26] Chihori
Oh, yes! The clever Terran TV show.
[20:29] Yuzu
You mean the popular series
about the detective who relies
[20:32] Yuzu
on his incredible physical stamina
to solve crimes all day long?
[20:36] Seiji
Yeah, that's the one.
[20:37] Seiji
Next week's episode is about a death threat
[20:39] Seiji
sent to the head chef of a
crooked diner called State,
[20:43] Seiji
who sells fried tofu passed off as steaks.
[20:45] Yomogi
Is that the crime?!
[20:47] Seiji
I'm pretty sure this is the symbol used
by the terrorist group in the show.
SIGN tonight 8 o'clock head of state assassination
[20:51] Yuzu
Does that mean...
[20:53] Yuzu
When you were doing your
usual morning cleaning...
[21:05] Yuzu
Like that?
[21:06] all girls
Glare...
[21:08] Seiji
H-Hey now! Are you blaming this on me?
[21:12] Bauer
Don't move! Everyone, hands up!
[21:14] Assistant Director-kun
I'm so sorry! There's been a mistake!
This isn't the location for the shoot!
[21:18] Bauer
Huh? Really?
[21:19] Assistant Director-kun
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
[21:20] staff
Oh, come on! What are you doing?
[21:22] staff
Why didn't you tell us sooner?
[21:22] Bauer
I came to the wrong location,
and I regret it deeply.
[21:30] Yuzu
I wonder where the real
shooting location was.
[21:32] Yayoi
I hear it was supposed to be at
the White House, not Takako-so.
[21:35] Yomogi
How could they mix those up?
[21:37] Yomogi
Gimme a break.
[21:38] all three
Thank you very much!
[21:41] Yomogi
Another exhausting day.
[21:44] Yayoi
Hey, let's write our own ema plaques.
[21:46] Yayoi
With wishes like, "Please let us
win the Teppen Grand Prix!"
[21:49] Yomogi
Yeah, but I'd rather wish on a shooting star.
[21:52] Yomogi
They're more romantic.
[21:54] Yuzu
Oh! A shooting star!
[21:55] Yayoi
No kidding! Please let us
win the Teppen Grand Prix!
[21:59] Yomogi
Isn't that shooting star a little...
[21:59] Yayoi
Let us win! Let us win!
[22:01] Yomogi
...slow?
[22:04] [SONG] Lead
Go! We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
[22:09] [SONG] back
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
[22:16] [SONG] lead
Hi! Hi! Hello! Let's get
on with the show today.
[22:19] [SONG] lead
We've just got four minutes, but we
hope you hear everything that we say.
[22:22] [SONG] back
Hey there cutie, hey there cutie,
didn't even miss a beat there, cutie.
[22:24] [SONG] lead
We hope you enjoy the show today.
[22:27] [SONG] lead
Here at home with you, in your living room,
we'll put a twinkle into your eyes.
[22:33] [SONG] lead
We've all dreamed to see if we could be
on a stage so free. Now it's a reality!
[22:42] [SONG] lead
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
[22:45] [SONG] lead
It's all good when we're laughing together.
[22:48] [SONG] lead
If we bomb, slip, even if we cry,
so what! That's still part of our destiny.
[22:53] [SONG] lead
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
[22:56] [SONG] lead
We'll hit it big if we
keep laughing together.
[22:59] [SONG] lead
We never knew that life
could ever be like this,
[23:02] [SONG] lead
and now that we're going, you know
there's no way we'll ever stop!
[23:05] [SONG] lead
We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
[23:09] [SONG] back
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
[23:10] [SONG] lead
All of our searching, all of our
training is fading out into the past.
[23:16] [SONG] lead
But to us now, those memories
will always be so precious.
[23:22] [SONG] lead
All of the tears, all of the pain,
rewriting life with our own words.
[23:27] [SONG] lead
We want to laugh it all away with you,
right up to the end. And that's a wrap!
SIGN The Boss Battle Chapter
E3 - The Evil Magistrate Chapter
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] All three
Hello there!
[00:05] Kana
Bull's-eye!
[00:06] All three
Nin-nin!
[00:07] All three
We're Bullet Kunoichi!
[00:09] Chitose
We're gonna let loose!
[00:10] Iroha
Ooh!
[00:11] Kana
You know, I've been thinking...
[00:13] Iroha
About what?
[00:14] Kana
I was about to tell you!
[00:16] Iroha
Oh, my bad.
[00:18] Kana
So I've been thinking about how tough it must
be for people who take over a family business.
[00:24] [SONG] all
Yeah!
[00:24] [SONG] Yomogi
So, what's comedy?
[00:25] [SONG] Yayoi
Yo!
[00:25] [SONG] Yuzu
Tough question, for me
[00:27] [SONG] Yayoi
What could it be?
It's too far out to see!
[00:28] [SONG] Yuzu & Yomogi
Be! See!
[00:29] [SONG] Yomogi
Boke and tsukkomi, in the zone
[00:29] [SONG] Yayoi
Ye ye, in the zone!
[00:31] [SONG] Yuzu
We got god-tier jokes on the horizon
[00:31] [SONG] Yayoi & Yomogi
God! Horizon!
[00:33] [SONG] Kana
Wanna see us split into bunshin
[00:33] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Yeah!
[00:34] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Bullets!
[00:34] [SONG] Kana
And hear gags flying at you like bullets?
[00:36] [SONG] Kana
Leave it to comedy ninjas!
[00:37] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Nin-nin!
[00:37] [SONG] Saeka
High society, celebrity
[00:37] [SONG] Hikari & Mako
High! Celebrity!
[00:39] [SONG] Saeka
The cleanest jokes are our priority
[00:40] [SONG] Hikari & Mako
Priority!
[00:41] [SONG] Miyu
Yeah, Akudare, making you all laugh
[00:42] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Yeah!
[00:43] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Ah! Ah!
[00:44] [SONG] Miyu
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back
[00:44] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back!
[00:46] [SONG] Yuina
We. Are. The. Invaders. Yo.
[00:47] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
Ah Invaders
[00:48] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
That should tell you all you need to know
[00:49] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
Need to know!
[00:50] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Yeah!
[00:50] [SONG] Yuzu
Shake it up, Wai-Wai!
[00:50] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Wai-Wai!
[00:51] [SONG] Yomogi
Heat up the timeline!
[00:51] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Timeline!
[00:52] [SONG] Yayoi
Scramble for the win,
we won't give up our pride
[00:54] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Pride!
[00:54] [SONG] Yomogi
Found a new line
[00:55] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Oh!
[00:55] [SONG] Yuzu
Gonna sweep the prime time
[00:56] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Oh!
[00:56] [SONG] Yayoi
Who's on top then?
[00:58] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Gotta take the Teppen!
[00:58] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina
Take it to the top
[01:00] [SONG] all call
Doin' it for real!
[01:00] [SONG] Kana; Saeka
We'll show you, giving everything
we got, oh yeah
[01:02] [SONG] all call
Oh yeah
[01:03] [SONG] Miyu; Yuina
Gonna face the challenge head-on
[01:03] [SONG] all call
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
[01:05] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina
Running straight ahead
[01:05] [SONG] all call
Yo! Yo! Yo!
[01:07] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai
Take it to the top
[01:07] [SONG] all call
Yeah that's right!
[01:09] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai
It's show
[01:10] [SONG] Yomogi
Don't slow down to hear them
call you funny, not a day
[01:12] [SONG] Yuzu
You'll never reach the top that way
[01:12] [SONG] all call
Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh yeah!
[01:14] [SONG] Yayoi
You know it's true, what we say
[01:16] [SONG] all call
Hey!
[01:17] [SONG] all sing
But this isn't about us just getting a laugh
[01:20] [SONG] all call
Yeah! Yeah!
[01:23] [SONG] all sing
That's not why we're here
It's much bigger, bigger than all that
[01:26] [SONG] all call
All that
[01:27] [SONG] all sing
We want to get
[01:27] [SONG] all call
We want to get, yeah!
[01:30] [SONG] all sing
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
[01:30] [SONG] all call
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
[01:35] [SONG] all sing
Yeah if we are the ones
that are making you laugh
[01:35] [SONG] all call
Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye!
[01:40] [SONG] all sing
We gotta go so hard it'll really,
really give us that, you know?
[01:44] [SONG] all sing
Top of the laugh
[01:44] [SONG] all call
Top of the laugh Ye~ah!
[01:47] [SONG] all sing
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way.
We're gonna make it to the top one day!
[01:47] [SONG] all call
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way,
oh! We're gonna make it to the top one day!
[01:52] [SONG] Yayoi
Aw yeah!
SIGN The Evil Magistrate Chapter
[01:58] Seiji
All right. Ready?
[02:00] Seiji
Start!
[02:01] Mako
Ugh!
[02:02] Miyu
Guts!
[02:03] Yayoi
Heavy...
[02:03] Kana
Hngh!
[02:05] Yuina
No way!
[02:05] Kana
Uwah!
SIGN Winner
[02:10] Iroha
Ooh!
[02:11] Chitose
All right, ya got it!
[02:12] Kana
Oh yeah!
[02:13] Yayoi
We lost.
[02:14] Miyu
Check it out! Ibaraki wins!
[02:16] Hina
Oh boy. What right do people from
Ibaraki have to win anything?
[02:20] Misao
They have every right!
[02:22] Seiji
Hmm. It's settled, then.
[02:24] Seiji
The teams appearing on the variety show
are Akudare Kingdom and Bullet Kunoichi.
[02:28] Yayoi
TV? That's so cool. I wish we could go, too.
[02:32] Seiji
That's just how it is.
[02:33] Seiji
The program said they
can only use two teams.
[02:37] Seiji
You haven't even qualified for
the Teppen Grand Prix yet,
[02:40] Seiji
so just be grateful you even
had a chance to get on TV.
[02:44] Yomogi
Don't worry about it.
[02:44] Yuzu
I'm sure we'll get another chance.
[02:47] Hikari
We have a visitor.
[02:48] Hikari
It's for Chitose-chan
from Bullet Kunoichi.
[02:50] Chitose
For me?
[02:52] Chitose
Oh...
[02:55] Reporter
We're from Monthly Comedy Road.
Are you Amano Chitose-san?
[02:58] Chitose
Yeah...
[03:00] Iroha
Huh?
[03:02] Iroha
I'm home.
[03:04] Kana
Welcome back.
[03:06] Kana
Do you know who came to see Chitose-senpai?
[03:08] Iroha
No, I don't.
[03:10] Iroha
What the heck are you doing?
[03:12] Kana
Well you know, I just realized that
going on TV could be really risky.
[03:17] Iroha
What do you mean?
[03:18] Kana
They say there are three people in the
world who look just like you, right?
[03:22] Kana
What if, just what if, one of the people
who looks like me is a mafia don?
[03:26] Kana
If that person gets assassinated,
[03:29] Kana
and the organization starts looking
for a new boss to replace them...
[03:33] Kana
Hello there!
[03:34] Mafia
She is the boss!
[03:36] Kana
They'll rope me into being
an organized crime boss!
[03:39] Iroha
That makes sense.
[03:40] Kana
But I don't wanna!
[03:41] Kana
So yeah, I think I gotta
learn to protect myself.
[03:45] Iroha
Hmm. I like your resolve.
[03:48] Iroha
If that's what you're doing,
I think I can help.
[03:50] Kana
Really? Thanks, Iroha-senpai!
[03:52] Iroha
Strength comes from the hips and legs!
[03:54] Iroha
Start off with some Bulgarian squats!
[03:58] Chitose
I'm home.
[03:59] Kana
Eek! My legs are wobbling!
[04:02] Chitose
What are you doing?
SIGN Akudare Kingdom
[04:05] Hina
Girls, Girls, Girls.
[04:07] Hina
The girls' variety program that
features all the latest girls.
[04:10] Misao
And this time they're featuring
the girls of comedy.
[04:14] Misao
That's why they reached out to us.
[04:16] Hina
I've never heard of this show.
[04:17] Misao
Sounds like it only airs late
night in the Kansai region.
[04:20] Misao
It ain't for folks from Ibaraki.
[04:22] Hina
It says the girls compete
in different mini-games,
[04:25] Hina
and whoever's funniest gets to sing a song.
[04:29] Hina
Why a song?
[04:30] Misao
No clue. But going on a variety show?
[04:33] Misao
I get nervous just thinking about it.
[04:36] Misao
Don't you, Miyu?
[04:37] Misao
Miyu? What's wrong?
[04:41] Miyu
It says the evening reruns of
Mito Komon Neo are ending this week!
[04:46] Misao
Seriously?!
[04:47] Misao
Ibaraki is famous for Mito Komon Neo!
[04:48] Misao
It's a show with more than
fifty years of history!
[04:51] Miyu
Those nincompoops!
[04:53] Miyu
It was always my dream
to become a big producer
[04:56] Miyu
and make a Hollywood version
of Mito Komon Neo!
[04:59] Misao
I don't think there's much Mito to that!
[05:02] Miyu
If the reruns stop, Komon-sama's
popularity will drop.
[05:06] Miyu
And then the Hollywood version
goes from greenlit to yellowlit.
[05:09] Hina
I don't think it was ever
on the traffic light at all.
[05:11] Misao
Hmph. But I never expected
Mito Komon Neo to end.
[05:16] Misao
Why, all of a sudden?
[05:17] Hina
Oh. Maybe this explains it.
[05:19] Miyu
Show me!
[05:20] Miyu
"The popular Kansai-region
show Girls, Girls, Girls
[05:24] Miyu
will be aired in an evening time
slot on national network TV."
[05:27] Miyu
"In some regions, the program will
replace Mito Komon Neo..." What!?
[05:31] Misao
And that program is...
[05:33] Hina
The variety show we're appearing in.
[05:35] Mizao
Miyu?
[05:37] Mizao
Hey!
[05:38] Miyu
That settles it.
[05:39] Hina
Settles what?
[05:40] Miyu
Komon-sama doesn't deserve to be wiped out!
[05:43] Miyu
I'll save Mito Komon Neo myself! Just watch!
[05:46] Misao
Save it? How are you gonna do that?
[05:48] Miyu
In the show we're going on, if we
do well we get to sing, right?
[05:52] Miyu
Then we'll get picked and
sing our hearts out.
[05:56] Miyu
We'll sing the Mito Komon Neo theme song!
[05:59] Miyu
Everyone will remember how
awesome Mito Komon Neo is,
SIGN Let us watch
Mito Komon Neo!
SIGN Cancel the finale!
SIGN Komon-sama is
invincible!
SIGN Crush 'em!
[06:03] Miyu
and then there's no way the show will end!
[06:05] Hina
I don't think that's how anything works.
[06:07] Miyu
This is Ibaraki Prefecture's first
step toward conquering Japan!
[06:12] Miyu
Save the Komon-sama!
There ain't no other way!
[06:16] Misao
She's on fire.
[06:21] Chitose
What the heck? You gotta be kidding!
[06:23] Chitose
Goodwill ambassador or treadmill capacitor?
[06:24] Chitose
You can't win a sword duel with lip balm!
[06:29] Iroha
Tearin' it up as always.
[06:31] Iroha
Not sure when you'd use some
of that wordplay, though.
[06:34] Chitose
Iroha... What are you doing here?
[06:36] Iroha
I wanted to ask you something.
[06:38] Iroha
Those people were from a
comedy magazine, right?
[06:40] Iroha
I overheard some of it.
[06:44] Chitose
Oh.
[06:45] Iroha
Was it for an article or something?
[06:47] Iroha
But then why'd they only talk to you?
[06:49] Chitose
Who knows? Maybe they thought I look funny.
[06:52] Chitose
It's getting chilly. I'm going back.
[06:58] Iroha
Her lies are as bad as those jokes.
[07:02] Iroha
The filming location was
supposed to be around here.
SIGN The Next Day
[07:05] Chitose
Hmm? What's going on?
[07:08] Men
Stop!
[07:09] Man
What?!
[07:11] Kana
Oh no! It's the mafia guys!
I don't wanna be the boss!
[07:15] Kana
Huh?
[07:16] Man
Wha!
[07:17] Man
L-Let me go! I didn't do anything!
[07:20] Man
S-Stop it! Let me go!
SIGN Restaurant
[07:23] Misao
What the...
[07:24] Akudai
We're manhunting.
[07:27] Iroha
Aren't you that producer...?
[07:29] Akudai
I'm Akudai Kan.
[07:31] Akudai
Welcome to the Girls, Girls, Girls shoot.
[07:34] Miyu
"A-Aku daikan"? Like, the evil magistrate
who's Komon-sama's arch enemy?
SIGN Akudai Kan
[07:39] Akudai
It's Akudai Kan. Make no mistake, cuties.
[07:44] Chitose
But what's this about manhunting?
[07:46] Chitose
That isn't a word you hear every day.
[07:48] Akudai
Well, I'm aiming for a show
that's nothing but cute girls
[07:52] Akudai
giggling and chattering away.
It'll be paradise!
[07:55] Akudai
It'll be like an amusement
park full of girls!
[07:58] Akudai
A zoo full of girls!
[08:00] Akudai
All the viewers want to see
are cute girls, you know.
[08:04] Akudai
So I pull all the men from the
streets whenever we're shooting.
[08:09] Akudai
If there's even one man on screen,
we'll get flamed online!
[08:11] Kana
But you don't count?
[08:13] Akudai
The viewers project themselves onto me.
[08:15] Akudai
That's how they can imagine themselves
as being a part of this girls' world.
[08:19] Akudai
So I'm fine.
[08:20] Chitose
I don't get it.
[08:22] Akudai
All right! Now that the distractions
are gone, we can start the shoot!
[08:28] Akudai
Let's make something special, my girls!
[08:31] Akudai
Okay then, the first challenge is...
[08:34] Akudai
"Quiz, Dash, Splash"!
[08:36] Kana
We got this!
[08:37] Miyu
We ain't losing!
[08:38] Akudai
The rules are simple.
SIGN Girls!!
Girls!!!
[08:40] Akudai
If you think the statement
is true, run to the O.
[08:44] Akudai
If you think it's false, run to
the X. And dive right through!
[08:47] Akudai
If you run through the wrong wall,
[08:49] Akudai
there will be a penalty waiting
for you, so do be careful!
[08:52] Kana
We're going first.
[08:54] Akudai
First problem!
[08:55] Akudai
Grade schooler Mayumi-chan
started running to a junk shop
SIGN Grade schooler Mayumi-chan started running to a junk shop
20 kilometers away at a speed of 4 kph.
An hour and a half after Mayumi-chan started,
an RS400 android took off in pursuit at a speed of 90 kph.
Mayumi-chan went straight to the junk shop,
not knowing that if the RS400 caught up,
it'd tear poor Mayumi-chan to pieces.
[08:58] Akudai
20 kilometers away at a speed of 4 kph.
[09:00] Akudai
An hour and a half after Mayumi-chan started,
[09:01] Akudai
an RS400 android took off in
pursuit at a speed of 90 kph.
[09:03] Akudai
Mayumi-chan went straight to the junk shop,
[09:06] Akudai
not knowing that if the RS400 caught up,
[09:09] Akudai
it'd tear poor Mayumi-chan to pieces.
[09:09] Kana
Isn't this a little long?
[09:10] Akudai
Here's the question: Mayumi-chan
is a girl. True or false?
[09:16] Kana
Considering the producer and the
runner's name, the answer has to be "true."
[09:21] Kana
But this is a variety show. The whole point
is making someone get the penalty.
[09:25] Kana
So the one I gotta choose is...
[09:29] Kana
Mud? Or super-hot water? This is
my chance to show what I got!
[09:33] Akudai
The correct answer is "true"!
"False" is incorrect!
[09:34] Kana
Come on!
[09:37] Akudai
The penalty waiting on the other side is...
[09:40] Akudai
A very high-quality mattress!
[09:42] Kana
Huh?
[09:43] Akudai
The cover of the mattress is
made from delicate 100% silk.
SIGN Delicate 100% Silk
SIGN Hungarian Down
[09:47] Akudai
The luxurious fabric will
envelop your body in comfort.
[09:49] Akudai
Additionally, the mattress padding
is made of Hungarian down,
[09:53] Akudai
giving the mattress warmth and support
[09:55] Akudai
that will keep you comfortable even in winter.
[09:58] Kana
Um...
[10:00] Misao
The penalty is way too easy!
[10:03] Chitose
What the heck? It's usually a mud pit!
[10:05] Chitose
Or super-hot water! Or a bed of nails!
[10:07] Iroha
Wouldn't a bed of nails be fatal?
[10:09] Akudai
They're so strict about regulations
and compliance these days.
[10:12] Akudai
And personally, I don't want any
scenes of girls getting dirty.
[10:16] Chitose
We don't need that type of kindness!
[10:18] Chitose
Besides, look at Kana!
[10:19] Chitose
She froze up because she doesn't
know how to have a funny reaction!
[10:22] Chitose
Her body might be totally relaxed,
but as a comedian, she's dying!
[10:26] Akudai
Ugh, fine. In that case, I'll make
it just a little bit painful.
[10:30] Akudai
Next problem!
[10:32] Akudai
Akari-chan is a cyborg.
SIGN Akari-chan is a cyborg.
While Akari-chan is defeating
7 monsters and 47 combatants,
the evil organization manufactures
another 5 monsters and 70 combatants.
[10:33] Akudai
While Akari-chan is defeating
7 monsters and 47 combatants,
[10:37] Akudai
the evil organization manufactures
another 5 monsters and 70 combatants.
[10:40] Akudai
Akari-chan is a girl. True or false?
[10:42] Chitose
Seriously, that's way too much
info for the question!
[10:45] Kana
The answer is "true." But I gotta
dive again for the laughs!
[10:50] Akudai
The correct answer is "true"!
"False" is incorrect!
[10:52] Kana
Let me have it this time!
[10:54] Akudai
The penalty waiting on the other side is...
[10:57] Akudai
A very high-quality mattress
with black feathers!
[11:00] Kana
Huh?
[11:02] Akudai
Jet-black feathers that suggest
the frolicking of fallen angels.
[11:05] Akudai
Will their fluttering envelop
the world in darkness?
[11:08] Akudai
For people who enjoy a goth atmosphere,
[11:11] Akudai
we recommend this lovely mattress
covered in black feathers.
[11:14] Akudai
Black feathers, that cringy
symbol of adolescent angst!
[11:17] Akudai
Doesn't that bring back painful memories?
[11:18] Chitose
That isn't the right kind of pain!
[11:21] Kana
I don't know how to have a
funny reaction to this.
[11:25] Akudai
All right! The next challenge is...
[11:28] Akudai
"Smash-and-Helmet Rock-Paper-Scissors"!
[11:31] Akudai
Ready? Smash-and-helmet! Rock, paper, scissors!
[11:35] Iroha
Take that!
[11:35] Hina
Ow!
[11:36] Miyu
Hina! You gotta defend!
[11:38] Hina
Easy for you to say.
[11:40] Akudai
The loser's penalty is to
get her face scribbled on!
[11:43] Hina
Eh?!
[11:46] Akudai
A deep, luscious lipstick for the fall.
[11:49] Hina
Is this really me?
[11:51] Misao
That's not scribbling!
[11:52] Misao
You just gave her a makeover!
[11:54] Miyu
Yeah! You gotta scribble "meat" or
"poop" or something on her forehead!
[11:58] Akudai
How could we write anything
so crude on our girls?
[12:01] Akudai
Compliance!
[12:03] ---
All right, round two!
[12:05] Akudai
Smash-and-helmet! Rock, paper, scissors!
[12:07] Iroha
Take that!
[12:08] Hina
Aaah!
[12:09] Akudai
Penalty!
[12:11] Akudai
A subtly alluring eye shadow.
[12:14] Hina
Is this the true me?
[12:15] Miyu
Each time she loses,
Hina becomes more of a babe.
[12:19] Misao
This is about as far from
a penalty as you can get.
[12:25] Kana
Reporters? A-Are they photographing me?
[12:28] Kana
Oh, I gotta look pretty!
[12:30] Chitose
No. They're only after me.
[12:33] Kana
Huh? After you, Chitose-senpai?
That's great!
[12:36] Chitose
Not really. It isn't great at all.
[12:40] Iroha
Chitose?
SIGN Grande Olde Performance Hall
SIGN Grande Olde Performance Hall
SIGN Grande Olde Performance Hall
SIGN Grande Olde Performance Hall
SIGN Grande Olde Performance Hall
SIGN Grande Olde Performance Hall
[12:44] Chisato
What the heck!
[12:45] Yuina
We came here to study, but pro
comedians really are amazing!
[12:50] Mone
I wonder if these two are special, though.
[12:53] Mone
The Otoris, Kagero and Chisato.
[12:55] Mone
They're a legendary married manzai duo
that's been performing for 30 years.
[12:58] Chihori
Thirty years, huh? That's longer than
the life expectancy on Jupiter.
[13:02] Chisato
You've been great today!
[13:04] Kagero
Are we done?
[13:05] Chisato
Actually, we have some news we'd
like to share with you all today.
[13:08] Chisato
Our daughter is performing in the
qualifiers for the Teppen Grand Prix!
[13:13] Yuina
Daughter?
[13:14] Kagero
Everyone, please give our daughter,
Amano Chitose, your support.
[13:18] All three
Huh?!
SIGN Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SIGN Bullet Kunoichi
SIGN National Junior High Stand-Up Competition
[13:25] (Flashback) Reporter A
That was the highlight of the show!
[13:27] (Flashback) Reporter B
Anything to say to your parents?
[13:29] Reporter A
I guess the genius comedy duo
DNA isn't just for show.
[13:30] Chitose
Those people didn't come to see my routine.
[13:32] Chitose
They came for the story about
my ma and pa supporting me.
[13:38] Chitose
"A real thoroughbred.
[13:39] Chitose
Did your parents teach you comedy?
Did they write your skits for you?"
[13:43] Chitose
The same questions over
and over. So annoying.
[13:46] Chitose
Even though it's my own
work that got me there.
[13:52] Chitose
My old partners hated that
and kept quitting on me.
[13:56] Chitose
I feel pretty bad about that.
[13:57] Iroha
So the reporters earlier...?
[14:00] Chitose
They said they were following the miracle
story of the "thoroughbred" high schooler
[14:03] Chitose
who was about to dominate
the Teppen Grand Prix.
[14:05] Chitose
Even though there's no guarantee I'll win.
[14:08] Chitose
It's so stupid.
[14:13] Iroha
Why didn't you tell anyone until now?
[14:15] Chitose
Well, it's a nuisance, right?
[14:17] Chitose
Because of me, they might start
spreading rumors about you, too.
[14:21] Chitose
And if we win, they probably won't
give us any real credit for it.
[14:25] Chitose
I kept refusing their interview requests...
but they're so persistent.
[14:29] Iroha
Hmm. So you thought we'd turn
out like your other partners?
[14:33] Iroha
Both Kana and me?
[14:37] Chitose
I guess so. I think I was just scared.
[14:40] Chitose
I thought I'd end up alone
again if you found out.
[14:44] Chitose
That's why I just couldn't tell you.
[14:50] Chitose
I'm sorry. I know it looks
like I was lying to you.
[14:54] Chitose
If you want to quit, I've got
no right to stop you.
[14:57] Chitose
You don't have to stay for my sake.
[15:05] Kana
I won?
[15:06] Akudai
Yeah. I decided to pick
you to sing at the end.
[15:10] Kana
But shouldn't that go to the
girl who was funniest?
[15:14] Akudai
Nah, it's fine, it's fine.
[15:16] Akudai
Nobody watches girl variety
shows to see them be funny.
[15:20] Kana
Huh?
[15:21] Akudai
To be honest, I don't
really care about comedy.
[15:24] Akudai
Girls just need to be cute.
[15:26] Akudai
And that's what I thought
the first time I saw you.
[15:29] Akudai
You've got a thing about you, girl!
[15:31] Akudai
This is our chance! With me producing,
we'll make you an idol!
[15:40] Saeka
It's so peaceful today.
[15:42] Hikari
Oh? Are you going out?
[15:44] Yomogi
Yeah. My folks' takoyaki restaurant
got a huge take-out order.
[15:48] Yayoi
We're going to help!
[15:50] Mako
Should I go, too?
[15:51] Yomogi
Sure, but you won't get paid for it.
[15:54] Mako
Never mind, then.
[15:55] Yuzu
All right, we're off.
[15:58] Saeka
See you later.
[16:05] Hina
W-We're really gonna do this?
[16:07] Misao
Don't have a choice. Once she
gets going, there's no stopping her.
[16:11] (Flashback) Miyu
If it ends like this, we won't get our
chance to sing Komon-sama's song.
[16:14] (Flashback) Misao
No kidding. We didn't stand out at all.
[16:18] (Flashback) Miyu
Our only chance is to do it subliminally!
[16:20] (Flashback) Hina
What do you mean?
[16:22] (Flashback) Miyu
We'll instill the producer's mind
with good thoughts about Ibaraki.
[16:25] (Flashback) Miyu
If it works, a last-minute reversal
isn't out of the question!
[16:27] (Flashback) Misao
But how are we gonna do it?
[16:39] Miyu
The best way to impress him
is with a taste of Ibaraki.
[16:42] Miyu
Nothing beats monkfish stew for that!
[16:46] Miyu
Slowly, slowly...
[16:50] Miyu
Oh crap!
[16:51] Akudai
Ow!
[16:52] Akudai
I dreamed some bullies gave me a
cigarette burn on my face.
[16:55] Akudai
What the...? Huh?
[16:58] Miyu
Monkfish stew isn't gonna work.
In that case...
SIGN Yam Jerky
[17:04] Miyu
I'll give him a taste of
dried Ibaraki taters.
[17:09] Miyu
Slowly, slowly...
[17:11] Miyu
Oh dang!
[17:12] Akudai
Aaah!
[17:16] ---
I don't know why,
[17:17] Akudai
but I've suddenly developed
an irrational hatred for Ibaraki.
[17:21] Miyu
I-It's all in your head!
Don't pay attention to that!
[17:24] Hina
Looks like you just instilled hatred.
[17:26] Misao
Sure does.
[17:28] Akudai
Let's put that behind us.
[17:31] Akudai
The final challenge is
"Girls' Paintball Match"!
[17:33] Akudai
Let's do it all cute and fluffy!
[17:35] Chitose
Huh? Where's Kana?
[17:37] Kana
Thanks for waiting!
[17:40] Iroha
Kana?!
[17:41] Chitose
You're an Amazon now?!
[17:44] Akudai
Paintball match, start!
[17:47] Kana
Gotcha!
[18:13] Akudai
Stop!
[18:14] Akudai
What's with the primitive battle tactics?!
[18:17] Akudai
This isn't the survival game I wanted!
[18:19] Akudai
I mean, it isn't cute at all!
[18:22] Kana
I don't care.
[18:23] Akudai
Don't you wanna sing?
[18:25] Kana
I think it would feel great.
[18:28] Kana
But once I started singing, the big
management companies would come knocking.
[18:31] Kana
I'd get my idol debut, crush a coliseum tour,
and then make it big in North America.
[18:37] Kana
But I don't wanna be an idol!
[18:41] Kana
I wanna do comedy!
[18:42] Akudai
Huh?
[18:43] Kana
When I was still living in my
own world and creeping everyone out,
[18:47] Kana
Chitose-senpai told me I was funny.
[18:49] Kana
She invited me to do comedy with her!
[18:52] Kana
She gave me a purpose.
[18:55] Chitose
Kana...
[18:56] Kana
I don't care about being cute.
[18:57] Kana
I wanna stick with my awesome senpais
and make the entire world laugh!
[19:02] Akudai
Why am I the target?!
[19:04] Iroha
Do you remember, Chitose, back when
we started Kunoichi as a duo?
[19:05] ---
Get back here!
[19:06] ---
Stop it! No, no, no!
[19:10] ---
Get back here, you villain!
[19:10] Iroha
We did all right, but after a while,
it felt like we hit a wall.
[19:13] ---
Leave me alone!
[19:14] Iroha
That's when we found Kana.
[19:17] Iroha
She kept acting crazy and
screwing up our rhythm,
[19:21] Iroha
like a bullet ricocheting all around!
[19:24] Iroha
I thought we could go
even further with her.
[19:27] Iroha
That's why we teamed up, remember?
As Bullet Kunoichi.
[19:30] Iroha
This thing you've pulled together
[19:32] Iroha
won't be torn apart that easily.
[19:35] Chitose
That's right.
[19:37] Iroha
We can do it. The three of us.
[19:39] Iroha
Bust through all the adults' tiny
imaginations and narrow boundaries,
[19:43] Iroha
and reach even higher!
[19:45] Chitose
You're right!
[19:48] Chitose
We'll make it happen!
[19:50] Miyu
If you guys are gonna get so
serious about it, then so are we!
[19:55] Miyu
Suke-san, Kaku-san, let's have at 'em!
[19:57] Hina & Misao
Yeah!
[19:58] Miyu
There!
[20:00] Kana
Give it all you got!
[20:01] Akudai
I don't get it! This isn't cute at all!
[20:06] Kana
Carrying on the family business.
[20:08] Kana
means you're always
compared to your parents!
[20:10] Kana
My parents sold table fans,
[20:12] Kana
and people always told me I didn't
get around as much as they did.
[20:15] Iroha
Am I doing stand-up with appliances?
[20:18] Chitose
I get your point, but does it really
matter who your parents are?
[20:21] Chitose
You gotta shatter everyone's expectations
[20:23] Chitose
and reach higher than anyone
ever imagined you could.
[20:26] Chitose
That's been my bright idea.
[20:27] Kana
You're so positive, it's blinding me!
[20:29] Kana
Did your parents do work with light bulbs?
[20:31] Chitose
What are you on about?
[20:32] Chitose
Time to switch you off.
[20:35] All three
Thanks, everyone!
[20:52] Akudai
This isn't what I...
[20:54] Akudai
What happened to my cute paradise?
[20:57] Yomogi
We've brought your food order!
[20:59] Yomogi
Delicious takoyaki! Get it while it's... hot?
[21:03] Yayoi
What happened here?
[21:04] Yuzu
Was there a battle or something?
[21:06] Yomogi
Oh!
[21:07] Yomogi
Um, are you all right?
[21:17] Akudai
I've found them!
[21:20] Yomogi
Huh?
[21:21] Akudai
You are my ideal girl!
[21:23] Akudai
Sing for me on my show!
[21:26] Yomogi
Huh?!
SIGN Girls Girls Girls
[21:35] Yomogi
You were fished out of the
ocean around Akashi one day
[21:38] Yayoi & Yuzu
You're so fresh
[21:39] Yomogi
The batter with that broth flavor,
that's from the mix I made
[21:44] Yayoi & Yuzu
So nice and thin
[21:45] Yomogi
I'll grill you up so good this time
[21:48] Yomogi
Crisp outside, but fluffy inside,
that's the way
[21:53] All three
Tastes so right
[21:55] Akudai
I've found my new path in life!
[22:01] Yuzu & Yayoi
Hee hee hee!
[22:03] Yomogi
I'll never live this down.
[22:10] Yomogi
That hopeless feeling makes you blue
[22:15] Yomogi
When things don't turn
out like they should
[22:17] Yuzu & Yayoi
It's hot, it's hot
[22:18] Yomogi
So I'll make it hot, but you won't cry
[22:22] Yomogi
I know that's how you'll want to have it
[22:27] Yomogi
Don't hide it away, that's what they say
[22:28] Yuzu & Yayoi
There's one in every home
[22:31] Yomogi
It's such a basic thing, you see
[22:34] Yuzu & Yayoi
The takoyaki grill
[22:35] Yomogi
You've got to think about how
meaningless the days feel
[22:39] Yuzu & Yayoi
Your recipe
[22:40] Yomogi
When it's left dusty
[22:44] Yuzu & Yayoi
Tastes so right
[22:45] Yomogi
I'll hold your leg so tightly
and stay real close to you
[22:49] Yuzu & Yayoi
Hug your leg
[22:50] Yomogi
I know I won't be able to see
when you turn red though
[22:54] Yuzu & Yayoi
Well, that's true
[22:55] Yomogi
But once I've got us held together so tight
[22:57] Yuzu & Yayoi
Takoyaki
[22:59] Yomogi
That's when we're truly one, you know
[23:02] Yomogi
You were fished out of the
ocean around Akashi one day
[23:05] Yayoi & Yuzu
You're so fresh
[23:06] Yomogi
The batter with that broth flavor,
that's from the mix I made
[23:11] Yayoi & Yuzu
So nice and thin
[23:12] Yomogi
I'll grill you up so good this time
[23:15] Yomogi
Crisp outside, but fluffy inside,
that's the way
[23:19] Yayoi & Yuzu
We bought some
[23:23] All three
Tastes so right
SIGN The Salon Chapter
E4 - The Salon Chapter
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:03] Saeka
Good afternoon.
[00:05] Saeka
Everything has its price.
What's your laughter worth?
[00:07] all three
We're Celebri-Tea.
[00:09] Mako
We'll pay whatever it takes,
so laugh a lot, okay?
[00:11] Hikari
You're buying them out from the start?
[00:14] Hikari
I mean, that idea is as dark
as black sugar dorayaki.
SIGN Jogasaki Confectionery
Black Sugar Dorayaki (580 yen)
[00:17] Saeka
When you have too much money, sometimes it's
hard to decide what to spend it on.
[00:22] Mako
I totally get it.
[00:27] TV Announcer
International movie director
Jovijouva Mokkosu,
[00:29] TV Announcer
who is making waves in Hollywood, has arrived
in Japan for the premiere of his new film,
[00:34] TV Announcer
Star Shark: The Dorsal Awakens.*
SIGN Star Shark
~ The Dorsal Awakens ~
[00:39] TV Announcer*
The post-premiere party
[00:41] TV Announcer
will include top celebrities from all
over Japan and is already turning heads.
[00:51] Seiji
I can beat that.
[00:53] [SONG] all
Yeah!
[00:53] [SONG] Yomogi
So, what's comedy?
[00:54] [SONG] Yayoi
Yo!
[00:55] [SONG] Yuzu
Tough question, for me
[00:56] [SONG] Yayoi
What could it be?
It's too far out to see!
[00:57] [SONG] Yuzu & Yomogi
Be! See!
[00:58] [SONG] Yomogi
Boke and tsukkomi, in the zone
[00:58] [SONG] Yayoi
Ye ye, in the zone!
[01:00] [SONG] Yuzu
We got god-tier jokes on the horizon
[01:00] [SONG] Yayoi & Yomogi
God! Horizon!
[01:02] [SONG] Kana
Wanna see us split into bunshin
[01:02] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Yeah!
[01:03] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Bullets!
[01:03] [SONG] Kana
And hear gags flying at you like bullets?
[01:05] [SONG] Kana
Leave it to comedy ninjas!
[01:06] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Nin-nin!
[01:07] [SONG] Saeka
High society, celebrity
[01:07] [SONG] Hikari & Mako
High! Celebrity!
[01:08] [SONG] Saeka
The cleanest jokes are our priority
[01:10] [SONG] Hikari & Mako
Priority!
[01:11] [SONG] Miyu
Yeah, Akudare, making you all laugh
[01:11] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Yeah!
[01:12] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Ah! Ah!
[01:13] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back!
[01:13] [SONG] Miyu
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back
[01:15] [SONG] Yuina
We. Are. The. Invaders. Yo.
[01:16] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
Ah Invaders
[01:17] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
That should tell you all you need to know
[01:18] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
Need to know!
[01:19] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Yeah!
[01:19] [SONG] Yuzu
Shake it up, Wai-Wai!
[01:19] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Wai-Wai!
[01:20] [SONG] Yomogi
Heat up the timeline!
[01:21] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Timeline!
[01:21] [SONG] Yayoi
Scramble for the win,
we won't give up our pride
[01:23] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Pride!
[01:24] [SONG] Yomogi
Found a new line
[01:24] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Oh!
[01:24] [SONG] Yuzu
Gonna sweep the prime time
[01:26] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Oh!
[01:26] [SONG] Yayoi
Who's on top then?
[01:27] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Gotta take the Teppen!
[01:27] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina
Take it to the top
[01:29] [SONG] all call
Doin' it for real!
[01:30] [SONG] Kana; Saeka
We'll show you, giving everything
we got, oh yeah
[01:31] [SONG] all call
Oh yeah
[01:32] [SONG] Miyu; Yuina
Gonna face the challenge head-on
[01:32] [SONG] all call
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
[01:34] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina
Running straight ahead
[01:34] [SONG] all call
Yo! Yo! Yo!
[01:36] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai
Take it to the top
[01:36] [SONG] all call
Yeah that's right!
[01:38] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai
It's show
[01:39] [SONG] Yomogi
Don't slow down to hear them
call you funny, not a day
[01:41] [SONG] Yuzu
You'll never reach the top that way
[01:41] [SONG] all call
Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh yeah!
[01:43] [SONG] Yayoi
You know it's true, what we say
[01:45] [SONG] all call
Hey!
[01:47] [SONG] all sing
But this isn't about us just getting a laugh
[01:49] [SONG] all call
Yeah! Yeah!
[01:52] [SONG] all sing
That's not why we're here
It's much bigger, bigger than all that
[01:55] [SONG] all call
All that
[01:56] [SONG] all sing
We want to get
[01:56] [SONG] all call
We want to get, yeah!
[01:59] [SONG] all sing
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
[01:59] [SONG] all call
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
[02:04] [SONG] all sing
Yeah if we are the ones
that are making you laugh
[02:04] [SONG] all call
Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye!
[02:09] [SONG] all sing
We gotta go so hard it'll really,
really give us that, you know?
[02:13] [SONG] all sing
Top of the laugh
[02:13] [SONG] all call
Top of the laugh Yeah! The Dorsal Awakens ~
[02:16] [SONG] all sing
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way.
We're gonna make it to the top one day!
[02:16] [SONG] all call
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way,
oh! We're gonna make it to the top one day!
[02:21] [SONG] Yayoi
Aw yeah!
SIGN The Salon Chapter
SIGN Bullet Kunoichi
[02:29] Kana
Hey, take a look at this.
[02:30] Chitose
What's up? Internet news?
[02:32] Kana
It's an article about the Kuidaoren't Doll,
but the interview is weird.
[02:36] Chitose
Interview with who?
[02:38] Kana
Lookit.
SIGN The Kuidaoren't Doll Speaks: "I'm tired."
[02:39] Chitose
How the heck is the
Kuidaoren't Doll speaking?
[02:42] Iroha
This is one of those clickbait articles.
[02:44] Iroha
The writer does zero research
and just makes up fake news.
[02:48] Chitose
Well, this news is a little too fake.
SIGN Invaders
[02:49] Mone
Check out this web news article.
[02:51] Mone
A buttercream sandwich cookie shop
in Hokkaido is getting piled on.
[02:55] Yuina
Who's making the complaints?
[02:57] Chihori
Cows?
[02:58] Mone
Uh-huh. Cows on Earth are able to talk.
SIGN Gokkatei
SIGN The Cows Complain
— Their Brave Accusations —
"We feel harmed by
being milked too much."
[03:00] Yuina
That can't be right!
SIGN Young Wai-Wai
SIGN Takoyaki VS Okonomiyaki
Finally All-Out War!!
SIGN Okonomiyaki?
That stuff's just
a random mess of
NPC ingredients.
SIGN Takoyaki would
be way better
without the octopus!
[03:11] Yayoi
If it was gonna come to this,
we never should have gotten together!
[03:15] Yomogi
No regrets! This was our destiny.
[03:18] Yuzu
Stop! Why are you letting the article
brainwash you into fighting!
[03:22] Yayoi
Oh, sorry! I got carried away.
[03:24] Yuzu
An interview with takoyaki and
okonomiyaki is too over-the-top.
[03:28] Yomogi
When news gets this fake,
it basically turns into comedy.
[03:31] Yuzu
What kind of person would write this?
[03:33] Yuzu
"White Wall"?
SIGN Author: White Wall
[03:35] Kana
White Wall?
[03:36] Yuina
White Wall?
[03:38] Chihori
What is it, Yuina?
[03:39] Yuina
You know, I kind of feel
like it means something.
[03:45] Mako
What the...?
[03:47] Yomogi
How much would someone
get paid to write that?
[03:49] Yayoi
I think it's a few yen per word.
[03:51] Yomogi
Paid by the pound, like meat.
[03:53] Yayoi
Huh? Mako-chan, what's wrong?
[03:55] Mako
Hmm. One sec...
[03:56] Yomogi
Is something wrong with your laptop?
[03:58] Mako
It froze all of a sudden.
[04:00] Yuzu
Let me see it for a sec.
[04:02] Mako
You know what you're doing?
[04:03] Yayoi
Yuzu was once known as the
master hacker Lord Orange.
[04:08] Mako
Really?
[04:08] Yuzu
Don't make up stories about me!
[04:12] Yuzu
How's that?
[04:13] Yayoi
It's fixed!
[04:14] Mako
Wow! Thank you!
[04:16] Yomogi
Huh?
SIGN Takoyaki vs. Okonomiyaki
Finally All-Out War!!
Author: White Wall
[04:19] Yayoi
White Wall?!
[04:21] Mako
Ah!
[04:22] Yuzu
Oh! If you translate Mako's
family name, Shirakabe, to English...
[04:24] Yomogi
...it means White Wall!
[04:26] Yayoi
So Mako-chan is...
[04:27] Mako
Ugh.
[04:28] Yuzu
Why are you writing clickbait articles?
[04:31] Mako
I mean, I kind of need to make money.
[04:34] Yayoi
Make money?
[04:35] Yayoi
But isn't everyone in Celebri-Tea super rich?
[04:37] Yayoi
Why would you need money?
[04:39] Mako
Well...
[04:40] Kana
I burned too many calories
reading that dumb article.
[04:43] Kana
Now I'm hungry!
[04:44] Mone
Me too.
[04:45] Mako
I-I'll tell you in your room. Let's go!
[04:48] Young Wai-Wai
Uh, what? Hey, don't push! Ouch! Stop it!
[04:50] Chitose
What now?
SIGN Young Wai-Wai
[04:53] Yayoi; Yomogi; Yuzu
You're poor?
[04:54] Mako
Yeah. I'm actually not rich or famous at all.
[04:57] Mako
I've been lying the whole time.
[04:59] Yuzu
Now that you mention it, yeah.
[05:02] Yomogi
A few things did seem off.
[05:05] Yayoi
I still don't think that's a
reason to write stuff like that.
[05:08] Mako
I know!
[05:09] Mako
But I really need to scrape up
money, and I only have a week.
[05:14] Yomogi
One week? There's no way!
[05:15] Yuzu
Why would you need to do that?
[05:17] Mako
Jovijouva Mokkosu is in Japan, right?
[05:20] Mako
His party is in a week,
[05:22] Mako
and Saeka's company is one of the
movie's sponsors, so we got invited—
[05:27] Mako
all of us in Celebri-Tea.
[05:29] Yayoi
Wow, that's so cool!
[05:31] Mako
No, it isn't!
[05:32] Mako
The party will be full of celebrities,
so I need a good dress to wear.
[05:36] Mako
But I don't have anything like that!
[05:39] Yuzu
So that's what the money's for.
[05:40] Mako
If I don't have a dress, Saeka and Hikari
will find out that I'm not actually rich.
[05:46] Mako
If that happens, I...
[05:48] Yomogi
I don't know much about it, but don't
celebrities' dresses cost like six figures?
[05:52] Yomogi
You can't earn that in a week.
[05:54] Yuzu
That leaves us only one choice.
[05:56] Yayoi
What?
[05:57] Yuzu
Cryptocurrency.
[05:59] Yomogi
That stuff is super dangerous for
amateurs to get mixed up in!
[06:03] Mako
Cryptocurrency...
[06:11] Mako
That takes care of the account.
[06:13] Mako
But I still don't understand
it at all. What should I do?
SIGN My Account Cash Transaction Leverage Transaction Japanese Yen -> Cryptocurrency Cryptocurrency -> Japanese Yen Support Chat E-Mail Phone
SIGN Trading Capacity: yen Deposit
Buy Sell History
SIGN 1 Minute 1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month 1 Year
[06:20] Mako
Okay. That settles it, then.
[06:23] Mako
Please let it go up!
[06:39] Mako
Huh?!
SIGN Chitty Chitty What's the Best Way to Make Money?
• Manzai • Street Musician
• Takoyaki Business • Crafting with Empty Cans
• Bounty Hunting • Recycling
• Telephone Scam Definitely not!
[06:41] Yayoi
We've spent four days thinking about it,
but we still don't have any good ideas.
[06:50] Yayoi
Mako-chan?
[06:51] Yomogi
What's wrong?
[06:52] Mako
The c-crypto is...
[06:53] Yuzu
Oh no, did you do it?
[06:55] Yomogi
I told you to stay away
from gambling like that!
[06:58] Mako
I f... I f...
[07:00] Mako
I frickin' scored!
[07:02] Young Wai-Wai
Huh?!
[07:04] Mako
I bought some randomly, and in the morning,
they were almost worth triple.
[07:09] Mako
So I kept using the same method,
[07:12] Mako
and made tons of money!
[07:13] Yayoi
How much do you have now?
[07:15] Mako
This much.
SIGN Total Asset Value
[07:16] Yomogi
That's a huge amount.
[07:18] Yomogi
You could buy out my entire family business.
[07:21] Yayoi
Wow!
[07:22] Yuzu
I had no idea you had this kind of talent.
[07:24] Yayoi
Nice work! Now you can
buy any dress you want!
[07:28] Mako
No, not yet.
[07:29] Mako
I've made so much already,
it would be a waste to stop now.
[07:34] Mako
If I keep gambling and making more and more,
maybe I can become rich and famous for real!
[07:38] Mako
Just like Saeka and Hikari.
[07:40] Yuzu
I know how you feel,
but what about the risk?
[07:43] Yuzu
If you mess up, you could lose it all.
[07:47] Mako
Obviously, I'm not going to
bet everything on crypto.
[07:51] Mako
I also started a blog.
[07:52] Mako
When I posted my earnings since yesterday,
a bunch of people got interested.
SIGN Total Asset Value
SIGN Cash
SIGN Savings
SIGN Cryptocurrency
SIGN Securities
SIGN Cards
SIGN Digital Currency
SIGN Points
SIGN Other Income
SIGN Tea with Money
Shirakabe Mako Official Blog
SIGN Views:
SIGN Are you still shopping without crypto?
SIGN Topic: Money
SIGN Good afternoon, everyone!
It's finally time for you to level up.
[07:57] Yomogi
That's an insane number of views!
[07:59] Mako
With this many views, I'll start
gobbling up ad revenue, too!
[08:04] Mako
Mwahahaha...
[08:07] Yayoi
Mako-chan's glowing!
[08:08] Yuzu
It's her celebrity aura!
Her celeb aura has awakened!
[08:12] Mako
And that ain't all.
SIGN Mako Channel
[08:13] Mako
I started streaming, too!
SIGN Anyone Can Do It
SIGN Pencil Method
I'll Teach You How to Score Big with Crypto
[08:16] Yuzu
Impeccable presentation.
[08:17] Yomogi
Insane subscriber count!
SIGN #Crypto
Anyone can do it!
I'll teach you how to master crypto with the pencil method!
SIGN Mako
Channel Subscribers:
376,000
SIGN 6245 Comments
Salary King 8 Hours Ago
The Pencil Superstar's lesson was so helpful.
Good Money 11 Hours Ago
I loved this lesson from the Pencil Superstar!
[08:20] Yayoi
Pencil Superstar?
[08:22] Mako
Just a little nickname.
[08:23] Mako
It exploded overnight, and now I'm
famous in some parts of the web.
[08:27] Mako
My videos already have one million views.
[08:30] Mako
I should get a ton of ad
revenue from that, too.
SIGN Posts
SIGN Followers
SIGN Follow
SIGN Request Follow
SIGN Following
[08:34] Mako
They're blowing! The winds of
fame and fortune are blowing!
[08:37] Yayoi
It's a storm! The yen pressure
system is creating a storm!
[08:40] Yuzu
The yen pressure system is shaking the atmosphere!
[08:42] Yomogi
What the heck is a yen pressure system?!
[08:43] Mako
But that isn't enough for me!
[08:46] Mako
So far, I'm just nouveau riche.
[08:48] Mako
If I want to be truly rich and famous,
[08:50] Mako
I need a life that makes
people really jealous!
[08:52] Yayoi
She's getting a ton of comments.
SIGN Money Money 3 Minutes Ago
If Mako-chan holds a seminar,
I definitely want to participate!!!!
[08:54] Yuzu
It says, "If Mako-chan holds a seminar,
I definitely want to participate."
[08:58] Mako
That's it!
[08:59] Yuzu
You're going to hold a seminar?
[09:01] Mako
Tsk, tsk, tsk...
[09:02] Mako
There's only one of me,
[09:04] Mako
and there's a limit to how many
people can attend a seminar.
[09:06] Mako
It'd be inefficient.
[09:08] Mako
There's an easier way.
[09:10] Mako
Yeah, I'll do an online salon!
[09:12] Yayoi
Online salon?
[09:14] Mako
The organizer gets people together
online to share information
[09:17] Mako
and hold different kinds of
events. It's like a club.
[09:21] Yomogi
I still don't get it.
[09:22] Yomogi
It sounds like you're trying to bottle
and sell tap water. It's kind of scary.
[09:25] Yayoi
You should try it too, Yomogi!
[09:27] Yayoi
But do it like you're selling
takoyaki instead of water.
[09:29] Yomogi
That would just make me
a traveling salesman.
[09:32] Yuzu
But won't it take a lot of work to get
an online salon up and running?
SIGN Tea with Money
SIGN Membership Fee
10,000 Per Month
[09:35] Mako
It's ready!
SIGN Membership Fee
10,000 Per Month
[09:36] Yayoi
Too fast!
[09:38] Mako
Just wait, Saeka, Hikari.
[09:41] Mako
I'll show you. I'll become
rich and famous, too!
SIGN Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[09:49] Saeka
We certainly have a large
number of sweets to advertise.
[09:53] Hikari
I couldn't help it.
[09:54] Hikari
My father isn't interested in comedy at all.
[09:57] Hikari
He'll only let me do the Teppen Grand Prix
if I plug our sweets during the routine.
[10:02] Saeka
Normally, Mako would be
gobbling them up by now.
[10:05] Hikari
She's been spending a lot of time
with Young Wai-Wai lately.
[10:08] Saeka
Shall we bring them some later, then?
[10:14] Yayoi
Wow!
SIGN Tea with Money
SIGN Registered:
[10:16] Yayoi
You've already got more than
10,000 people signed up!
[10:18] Yuzu
And you just set it up yesterday!
[10:20] Yomogi
But what in the world are you wearing?
[10:22] Mako
My superstar status calls
for superstar fashion!
[10:26] Mako
Oh, it's time for the online salon.
[10:29] Member
And so, I'd really like to ask
your advice about what I need
[10:32] Member
for the next step of my business scheme.
[10:35] Yayoi
Hey, what's a "scheme"?
[10:37] Yomogi
It's super helpful for cleaning
stuff like a takoyaki grill.
[10:40] Yomogi
You just blast it with hot water vapor.
[10:42] Yuzu
Eh-heh, isn't that steam?
[10:43] Mako
Basically, I think the important
thing is commitment.
[10:47] Mako
When you adjust for the results,
[10:49] Mako
it has the benefit of maximizing your synergy.
[10:51] Mako
Brush up your commitment
to make it a prioritization,
[10:54] Mako
so you can initiative consensus, and then
[10:57] Mako
your rice curry will bring
forth a win-win wiener bomb
[10:59] Mako
that you can wish on a hamburger man!
[11:01] Yayoi
M-Mako-chan's speaking a foreign language!
[11:04] Yomogi
Speaking only in Japanese could get you
kicked out of the online salon world.
[11:08] Mako
Phew!
[11:09] Yayoi
Mako-chan, that was amazing!
What did all that stuff mean?
[11:13] Mako
I don't have the slightest clue.
[11:14] Yayoi
Huh?!
[11:15] Mako
I just strung together some words
I found online that looked good.
[11:19] Yomogi
But your viewers looked convinced.
[11:21] Mako
The important thing is mood, not meaning.
[11:24] Mako
That's just how it works.
[11:25] Yuzu
That can't really be true.
[11:27] Mako
I've already reached 10,000 members,
[11:30] Mako
and each membership costs 10,000 yen.
[11:32] Mako
So add it all up, and...
[11:36] Mako
If I earn this much every month, I'm rich!
[11:40] Mako
I'd totally live up to the celeb name!
[11:43] Mako
I'll be the definition of rich and famous!
[11:45] Yayoi
I can see it! The castle of
gold shining behind you!
[11:48] Yuzu
And the yen pressure system
could split the world in half!
[11:51] Yomogi
Seriously, what's a yen pressure system?!
[11:53] Mako
Heh. But that ain't all.
I'm gonna keep hitting the jackpot!
[11:58] Yayoi
Come in.
[12:00] Saeka
We wanted to share these with you.
[12:02] Saeka
Thank you for always being so kind to Mako.
[12:04] Mako
Saeka!
[12:05] Yayoi
Wow! Thank you!
[12:08] Mako
W-What?
[12:11] Saeka
Your brow is furrowed.
[12:13] Mako
Huh?
[12:14] Saeka
Celebri-Tea should always be
proper and elegant. Right?
[12:20] Mako
My face looks... so trashy right now.
[12:23] Yuzu
Huh?
[12:25] Yuzu
One of the salon members has a suggestion.
[12:28] Yayoi
He says he wants to sell power pencils that
are infused with Mako-chan's abilities.
[12:32] Yomogi
What the heck is a power pencil?
SIGN Eggplant Mang
SIGN I'd even buy one for 10,000 yen!
SIGN ×〇△-kun
SIGN I'll buy one!
SIGN A suggestion!
I'd like to sell Mako-san pencils
that are infused with
Mako-san's powers.
[12:35] Yuzu
This guy's saying he'd
pay 10,000 yen for one.
[12:37] Mako
Seriously?!
[12:38] Yuzu
Oh! Look at all the pre-orders!
[12:40] Yuzu
This is going to make you
even richer, Mako-chan!
[12:43] Mako
Y-Yeah...
[12:45] Mako
Is this really going to bring me
closer to Saeka and Hikari?
[12:51] Mako
To those two?
[12:53] Yayoi
Ah! Another fun suggestion.
An online handshake event!
[12:56] Yomogi
Don't the thrills come from
actually shaking hands, though?
[12:59] Yayoi
They'll be virtual thrills!
[13:01] Yuzu
50,000 yen each...
SIGN I'd like to participate.
Sign me up.
Definitely!
Yes, please.
[13:03] Yuzu
But so many people are interested!
[13:05] Yomogi
Another huge profit...
[13:07] Yayoi
Check out this one!
[13:08] Yayoi
"Sell the rights to be reincarnated
in a virtual world
[13:11] Yayoi
after being virtually run over by
Mako-chan driving a virtual truck."
[13:14] Yomogi
There's not a scrap of product there.
[13:15] Yuzu
But it's already flooded with requests!
[13:18] Mako
The money... It just keeps coming!
[13:21] Mako
But the thing I really wanted to be is...
[13:24] Yayoi
Another one! "Get an online
roundhouse kick from Mako-chan..."
[13:26] Mako
Enough!
[13:29] Yayoi
Mako-chan?
[13:31] Mako
I can't do it like this.
[13:35] Mako
I first saw them at our high school
entrance ceremony.
[13:38] Mako
Saeka and Hikari seemed to be a
different color than everyone else.
[13:42] Yuzu
A different color?
[13:43] Mako
They weren't like anyone else.
[13:45] Mako
It's as if they were colored in
with paints made just for them.
[13:48] Mako
That's what it looked like to me.
[13:51] Mako
But of course they did.
[13:52] Mako
One was the heiress to the
biggest tea company in Japan.
[13:56] Mako
The other was the heiress to
a legendary sweets company.
[13:59] Mako
They were both born special.
They were so lucky.
[14:02] Mako
I knew we came from different worlds,
[14:05] Mako
but when I saw how excited they
got talking about comedy,
[14:09] Mako
I just had to meet them.
[14:10] Mako
You know how unusual it is to
find women seriously into comedy.
[14:14] Yuzu
I sure do.
[14:15] Mako
I wanted to become friends,
even though I was so different.
[14:20] Mako
And before I knew it,
[14:22] Mako
I was lying to them and saying
I was the daughter of a CEO, too.
[14:26] Yayoi
So the reason you needed
all that money was...
[14:29] Mako
If I kept lying, I knew I'd
eventually blow my cover.
[14:33] Mako
If I actually became rich and famous, though,
[14:35] Mako
I thought the three of us could
become real friends at last.
[14:41] Mako
But this isn't the right way.
[14:43] Mako
I can't really explain it, but even
if I get rich and famous this way,
[14:46] Mako
I still don't think I'd be on their level.
[14:49] Mako
So...
[14:52] Mako
I'll do it my way instead!
[14:55] Yomogi
What are you doing now?
[14:57] Mako
Real celebrities are people
that everyone looks up to.
[15:01] Mako
They're almost dreamlike.
[15:02] Mako
If I want to be like that,
[15:04] Mako
first I need to give some dreams back
to the people that supported me.
SIGN Mako
SIGN Tell me what you really want to do in life!
SIGN Like • Reply
[15:09] Mako
Tell me what you really want to do in life!
[15:11] Young woman
I want to build a nursing home
out in the country,
[15:14] ---
but I'm having trouble with financing.
[15:16] Mako
Okay! I'll sponsor that!
[15:19] Young man
Japanese society has a big
problem with young people
[15:22] Young man
who get burned out and can't find new jobs.
[15:26] Mako
I'll take your word for it. I'll sponsor!
[15:29] Old woman
I want to buy some nice clothes for my
granddaughter's Shichi-Go-San celebration.
[15:33] Mako
I'll sponsor it!
[15:35] Mako
Sponsor! Sponsor! Sponsor!
[15:38] Mako
Sponsor! Sponsor! Sponsor! Sponsor! Sponsor!
[15:46] Yuzu
Mako-chan's yen pressure
system dissipated.
[15:49] Yomogi
I still don't know what the heck that is.
[15:51] Yayoi
You're amazing, Mako-chan!
You made people's dreams come true!
[15:56] Mako
I used up all of my money
in the process, though.
[16:00] Mako
And the party is tonight.
SIGN Mokkosu Movie Premium Party ○○Hotel
[16:02] Mako
I didn't get a dress
after all. What do I do?
[16:09] Yayoi
Mako-chan...
[16:11] Mako
What?
[16:12] Yayoi
Ta-dah!
SIGN Jovijouva Mokkosu's New Film Japan Premium Celebration Party
SIGN Star Shark
[16:18] Mako
I finally made it!
[16:21] Hikari
Oh, you're late, Mako.
[16:24] Mako
Sorry, sorry!
[16:31] Saeka
That's a very nice dress.
[16:34] Mako
Isn't it?
[16:36] (Flashback) Yayoi
Ta-dah!
[16:38] (Flashback) Mako
Is this...?
[16:40] (Flashback) Yayoi
Don't you think it turned out all right?
[16:42] (Flashback) Yayoi
We worked so hard to make it.
[16:44] (Flashback) Yuzu
It took a while to find cheap
fabrics that looked expensive.
[16:48] (Flashback) Yomogi
Just tell people it's a dress
from an up-and-coming,
[16:50] (Flashback) Yomogi
avant-garde young fashion designer,
and you'll be fine.
[16:54] (Flashback) Yomogi
Probably.
[16:55] (Flashback) Mako
Guys...
[16:58] (Flashback) Mako
Wow! Thank you!
[17:00] (Flashback) Mako
I'll never call okonomiyaki
a random mess again!
[17:04] (Flashback) Mako
And I'll always eat the
octopus in takoyaki, too!
[17:06] (Flashback) Yayoi
You really called it that?
[17:07] (Flashback) Yomogi
You actually picked it out?
[17:17] Koseki
Well, well.
[17:18] Koseki
If it isn't Saeka-san,
the Yabukita En tea company heiress.
[17:22] Koseki
How have you been?
[17:23] Saeka
It's nice to see you again.
[17:25] Saeka
This is Koseki-san, from the
film distribution company.
[17:28] Koseki
Indeed, I am Koseki.
[17:29] Koseki
And is this the Jogasaki
Confectionery heiress?
[17:32] Koseki
I've always wanted to meet you!
[17:35] Hikari
The pleasure is mine, I'm sure.
[17:38] Mako
Huh?
[17:38] Koseki
But Saeka-san, you get lovelier by the day.
[17:42] Koseki
What do you think about making
your debut as an actress?
[17:44] Saeka
Thank you, but I think I'll pass.
[17:46] Saeka
I really don't think I'm
cut out to be an actress.
[17:48] Koseki
There you go again.
[17:49] Koseki
Oh, I have to say hello
to your father as well.
[17:52] Koseki
We'll speak again.
[17:56] Mako
What about me?
[17:58] Mako
Excuse me. I'll take everything!
[18:01] Chef
Huh?
[18:02] Mako
It's all-you-can-eat, right?
[18:05] Yayoi
Hey, stop!
[18:07] Mako
Huh? Why are you here?
[18:08] Yayoi
Heh heh heh... We snuck in.
[18:11] Yuzu
We were worried about you.
[18:13] Mako
Aw, you don't need to worry about me.
[18:15] Yuzu
If you don't act like you're rich
and famous, it'll raise eyebrows.
[18:19] Mako
You're right. This tiny plate
wouldn't fit everything, anyway.
[18:23] Mako
But I expected that, so I brought
containers for the food!
[18:26] Yomogi
That isn't the point!
[18:30] Koseki
Ouch!
[18:32] Mako
Oh! I'm sorry!
[18:38] Koseki
Don't go dropping your garbage
in my party, you dumb brat!
[18:41] Koseki
Hey, make sure that girl
doesn't get back in here.
[18:44] Young guy
Yes, sir.
[18:45] Koseki
I can't take it.
[18:48] Koseki
Being in the same room with a bum
like that makes me want to puke.
[18:54] Hikari
It's nice and hot.
[18:55] Saeka
Thank you.
[18:58] Koseki
And that dress, too. I can only put
up with so much trash at once.
[19:01] Koseki
How dare she wear that cheap thing here!
[19:06] Koseki
It burns!
[19:09] Koseki
Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
[19:12] Saeka
Please don't fret.
[19:14] Saeka
That wasn't cheap.
It was very high-quality tea.
[19:18] Yayoi
What? What?
[19:19] Saeka
Someone like you, who sees nothing
but money, would never understand
[19:24] Saeka
how valuable that dress actually is.
[19:27] Koseki
Eh?
[19:28] Saeka
Furthermore, no matter who you are, I will
not tolerate someone insulting my friends.
[19:34] Koseki
Ah! I'm... Ungh!
[19:36] Saeka
Now, please excuse me.
[19:42] Saeka
My childhood friend Hikari was the only
person I felt I could be myself with.
[19:46] Saeka
My classmates and the other
children gave me a wide berth.
[19:49] Saeka
They felt that I came from a different world.
[19:52] Saeka
It was as if there was an invisible wall
around me. I was tremendously lonely.
[19:57] Saeka
But Mako, with nothing but a love
of comedy, broke down that wall.
[20:04] Saeka
I can't tell you what a relief it was.
[20:07] Yayoi
You both knew that Mako wasn't
rich and famous, didn't you?
[20:10] Hikari
Of course we did.
[20:12] Hikari
We knew she was working online
to make money all week, too.
[20:16] Yomogi
You did?
[20:17] Hikari
Naturally. She wasn't
exactly sneaky about it.
[20:20] Saeka
We planned to make it look like
she won a contest or something,
[20:23] Saeka
and arrange for her to get a dress that way.
[20:26] Saeka
But thanks to you all,
we didn't have to do that.
[20:30] Yuzu
Did you have to go that far?
[20:31] Yuzu
Why couldn't you just talk
to Mako-chan about it?
[20:34] Yayoi
Yeah. Mako-chan is really worried
that she can't be your friend
[20:37] Yayoi
unless she's rich like you.
[20:39] Saeka
If we told her to simply stay the way she is,
[20:42] Saeka
when she's been working so hard to fit in,
[20:44] Saeka
wouldn't that be the truly arrogant,
condescending behavior?
[20:47] Hikari
It's not as if it'd stop her, anyway.
[20:50] Saeka
That's right. It wouldn't stop her.
[20:52] Mako
Hey. You were both here the whole time?
[20:56] Mako
Ah! This isn't what it looks like!
[20:58] Mako
I thought I'd bring some gifts to
all the servants I have at home.
[21:06] Saeka
The three of us are already friends.
[21:12] Saeka
If I put effort into it, I could
probably buy all of Japan.
[21:15] Hikari
No way!
[21:16] Hikari
But... I guess I can't rule
it out in your case, Saeka.
[21:18] Mako
You mean you haven't bought a country yet?
[21:21] Mako
I've already bought, like,
ten countries myself!
[21:23] Saeka
Oh, my. But I'm not jealous at all.
[21:26] Saeka
I already have the things I wanted most.
[21:31] Hikari
What are you even talking about?
Let's drop it already.
[21:41] Seiji
Hngh!
[21:46] Mako
Prince Shotoku, lend me your powers!
[21:49] Yuzu
She got a job transcribing interviews.
[21:51] Yomogi
But ten at once? That's crazy!
[21:53] Yuzu
I wonder what she's saving up for this time.
[21:56] Yayoi
Well, if we need to, we could
always make it for her again!
SIGN Robotrain
SIGN A Close Shave
SIGN Starring Celebri-Tea
SIGN Director: Jovijouva Mokkosu
[22:02] Mako
It's a robot, but I can't tell them that...
[22:05] [SONG] Lead
Go! We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
[22:09] [SONG] back
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
[22:16] [SONG] lead
Hi! Hi! Hello! Let's get
on with the show today.
[22:19] [SONG] lead
We've just got four minutes, but we
hope you hear everything that we say.
[22:22] [SONG] back
Hey there cutie, hey there cutie,
didn't even miss a beat there, cutie.
[22:24] [SONG] lead
We hope you enjoy the show today.
[22:27] [SONG] lead
Here at home with you, in your living room,
we'll put a twinkle into your eyes.
[22:33] [SONG] lead
We've all dreamed to see if we could be
on a stage so free. Now it's a reality!
[22:42] [SONG] lead
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
[22:45] [SONG] lead
It's all good when we're laughing together.
[22:48] [SONG] lead
If we bomb, slip, even if we cry,
so what! That's still part of our destiny.
[22:54] [SONG] lead
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
[22:56] [SONG] lead
We'll hit it big if we
keep laughing together.
[22:59] [SONG] lead
We never knew that life
could ever be like this,
[23:02] [SONG] lead
and now that we're going, you know
there's no way we'll ever stop!
[23:05] [SONG] lead
We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
[23:09] [SONG] back
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
[23:10] [SONG] lead
All of our searching, all of our
training is fading out into the past.
[23:16] [SONG] lead
But to us now, those memories
will always be so precious.
[23:22] [SONG] lead
All of the tears, all of the pain,
rewriting life with our own words.
[23:27] [SONG] lead
We want to laugh it all away with you,
right up to the end. And that's a wrap!
SIGN The Lamp Chapter
E5 - The Lamp Chapter
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:03] Mone
What a pain.
[00:05] Mone
Why do we have to go back, anyway?
[00:07] Chihori
It's a school day.
[00:09] Chihori
What a wretched Earth custom.
[00:11] Mone
While we're stuck here, everyone at
Takako-so is practicing their comedy.
[00:16] Mone
People say if you skip one day of manzai,
it takes two weeks to get it back.
[00:21] Chihori
Some do say comedy is verbal athletics.
[00:23] Yuina
My true name is Jupitris Naru-Nanana—
[00:26] Yuina
Ah, I botched it again.
[00:28] Mone
You can't do that, Yuina.
[00:29] Mone
It's your true name. You gotta
learn how to say it smoothly.
[00:32] Yuina
But you're the one who
came up with it, Mone.
[00:35] Yuina
Why did you have to make it so long?
[00:37] Chihori
Yuina, most space alien
names are really long.
[00:41] Mone
That's right.
[00:42] Mone
Leave it to Chihori to see
things from the alien side.
[00:46] Chihori
Eh? B-But isn't that common
knowledge among Earthlings, too?
[00:49] Yuina
That doesn't make any sense.
[00:51] Mone
If we're gonna make it to the Grand Prix final,
we have to constantly think up new bits.
[00:55] Mone
There's never enough time, though.
[00:58] Chihori
Yeah, for sure.
[01:08] Yuina
Finally back in Hokkaido.
It's so relaxing here.
[01:11] Chihori
There are so many people around Takako-so
all the time, it always feels like a festival.
[01:16] Mone
That's the city for you.
[01:17] Yuina
I like the country the best.
It's so peaceful.
[01:20] Mone
Hold on there, Yuina. The countryside
ain't always peaceful, ya hear?
[01:24] Yuina
Is that a new character?
[01:26] Mone
Somethin' tells me ya don't know about
the seven folk legends of Hokkaido.
[01:31] Yuina
Seven folk legends?
[01:33] Chihori
What are they? What are they?
[01:35] Chihori
Like, a gigantic laser cannon
on standby in satellite orbit?
[01:39] Chihori
Or an underground facility for making
cow-shaped weapons of mass destruction?
[01:43] Mone
It ain't anything like that
Hollywood-type stuff, darlin'.
[01:46] Mone
I'm talkin' about the old wives'
tales that country grannies tell.
[01:49] Yuina
For example?
[01:50] Mone
Aw, dang it. I forget.
[01:52] Chihori
You forgot already? That's too bad.
[01:55] Yuina
Folk legends, huh? It'd be fun
if we could spot one of those.
[01:58] Mone
You think?
[01:59] Chihori
I'd love to see one while
I'm still on Earth.
[02:02] Yuina
While you're still on Earth?
[02:03] Chihori
Never mind!
[02:04] Mone
By the way, last year I got
an interesting holiday gift.
[02:08] Mone
Expensive-looking imported dishes.
[02:10] Yuina
There are a lot of really
cute imported dishes.
[02:13] Mone
Yeah, these were cute. And they flew.
[02:16] Yuina
They flew?
[02:17] Mone
Yeah. Sometimes they'd
float up into the air.
[02:20] Yuina
The dishes?
[02:21] Mone
The dishes.
[02:22] Chihori
Probably because they were imported.
[02:23] Mone
That's probably it.
[02:25] Yuina
I guess imported dishes can fly, then.
[02:27] Mone
Yeah, imported dishes can fly.
[02:31] Yuina
Huh? What was that?
[02:37] Mone
What a pain.
[02:39] Mone
Why do we have to go back, anyway?
[02:41] Chihori
'Cause we have to. It's a school day.
[02:43] Mone
While we're stuck here, everyone at
Takako-so is practicing their comedy.
[02:48] Mone
People say if you skip one day of manzai,
it takes two weeks to get it back.
[02:50] Yuina
Huh?
[02:52] Yuina
Huh?
[02:53] Yuina
Huh?!
[02:55] [SONG] all
Yeah!
[02:55] [SONG] Yomogi
So, what's comedy?
[02:56] [SONG] Yayoi
Yo!
[02:57] [SONG] Yuzu
Tough question, for me
[02:58] [SONG] Yayoi
What could it be?
It's too far out to see!
[02:59] [SONG] Yuzu & Yomogi
Be! See!
[03:00] [SONG] Yomogi
Boke and tsukkomi, in the zone
[03:00] [SONG] Yayoi
Ye ye, in the zone!
[03:02] [SONG] Yuzu
We got god-tier jokes on the horizon
[03:02] [SONG] Yayoi & Yomogi
God! Horizon!
[03:04] [SONG] Kana
Wanna see us split into bunshin
[03:04] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Yeah!
[03:05] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Bullets!
[03:05] [SONG] Kana
And hear gags flying at you like bullets?
[03:07] [SONG] Kana
Leave it to comedy ninjas!
[03:08] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Nin-nin!
[03:09] [SONG] Saeka
High society, celebrity
[03:09] [SONG] Hikari & Mako
High! Celebrity!
[03:10] [SONG] Saeka
The cleanest jokes are our priority
[03:12] [SONG] Hikari & Mako
Priority!
[03:13] [SONG] Miyu
Yeah, Akudare, making you all laugh
[03:13] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Yeah!
[03:14] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Ah! Ah!
[03:15] [SONG] Miyu
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back
[03:15] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back!
[03:17] [SONG] Yuina
We. Are. The. Invaders. Yo.
[03:18] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
Ah Invaders
[03:19] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
That should tell you all you need to know
[03:20] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
Need to know!
[03:21] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Yeah!
[03:21] [SONG] Yuzu
Shake it up, Wai-Wai!
[03:21] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Wai-Wai!
[03:22] [SONG] Yomogi
Heat up the timeline!
[03:23] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Timeline!
[03:23] [SONG] Yayoi
Scramble for the win,
we won't give up our pride
[03:25] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Pride!
[03:26] [SONG] Yomogi
Found a new line
[03:26] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Oh!
[03:26] [SONG] Yuzu
Gonna sweep the prime time
[03:28] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Oh!
[03:28] [SONG] Yayoi
Who's on top then?
[03:29] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Gotta take the Teppen!
[03:29] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina
Take it to the top
[03:31] [SONG] all call
Doin' it for real!
[03:32] [SONG] Kana; Saeka
We'll show you, giving everything
we got, oh yeah
[03:33] [SONG] all call
Oh yeah
[03:34] [SONG] Miyu; Yuina
Gonna face the challenge head-on
[03:34] [SONG] all call
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
[03:36] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina
Running straight ahead
[03:36] [SONG] all call
Yo! Yo! Yo!
[03:38] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai
Take it to the top
[03:38] [SONG] all call
Yeah that's right!
[03:40] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai
It's show
[03:41] [SONG] Yomogi
Don't slow down to hear them
call you funny, not a day
[03:43] [SONG] Yuzu
You'll never reach the top that way
[03:43] [SONG] all call
Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh yeah!
[03:45] [SONG] Yayoi
You know it's true, what we say
[03:47] [SONG] all call
Hey!
[03:48] [SONG] all sing
But this isn't about us just getting a laugh
[03:51] [SONG] all call
Yeah! Yeah!
[03:54] [SONG] all sing
That's not why we're here
It's much bigger, bigger than all that
[03:57] [SONG] all call
All that
[03:58] [SONG] all sing
We want to get
[03:58] [SONG] all call
We want to get, yeah!
[04:01] [SONG] all sing
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
[04:01] [SONG] all call
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
[04:06] [SONG] all sing
Yeah if we are the ones
that are making you laugh
[04:06] [SONG] all call
Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye!
[04:11] [SONG] all sing
We gotta go so hard it'll really,
really give us that, you know?
[04:15] [SONG] all sing
Top of the laugh
[04:15] [SONG] all call
Top of the laugh Ye~ah!
[04:18] [SONG] all sing
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way.
We're gonna make it to the top one day!
[04:18] [SONG] all call
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way,
oh! We're gonna make it to the top one day!
[04:23] [SONG] Yayoi
Aw yeah!
SIGN The Lamp Chapter
[04:32] Yuina
Huh? How?
[04:33] Chihori
What, Yuina?
[04:35] Mone
Oh. She's trying to get out
of practicing her name.
[04:37] Mone
Are you able to say it right yet?
[04:39] Yuina
What? No, sorry.
[04:41] Mone
You can't do that, Yuina.
[04:43] Mone
It's your true name. You gotta
learn how to say it smoothly.
[04:46] Yuina
Most space alien names are really long.
[04:49] Mone
That's right. So it has to be long.
I'm glad you understand.
[04:53] Yuina
I guess I'm imagining things...
[04:57] Chihori
The air in Hokkaido smells so fresh!
[05:00] Mone
But see here, Chihori.
[05:02] Mone
There's some mysterious wonders
hidden around Hokkaido too, darlin'.
[05:05] Yuina
Huh? Was this...?
[05:07] Chihori
Mysterious?
[05:08] Mone
Somethin' tells me ya don't know about
the seven folk legends of Hokkaido.
[05:13] Chihori
Seven folk legends?
[05:14] Yuina
Huh?
[05:15] Chihori
This sounds fun!
[05:16] Chihori
Tell me! Tell me!
[05:17] Mone
I forget what they're about.
[05:19] Chihori
You forgot already?
[05:20] Yuina
I'm definitely not imagining things.
[05:22] Chihori
Something wrong, Yuina?
[05:24] Chihori
You got quiet all of a sudden.
[05:26] Mone
Are you hungry? Want a buttercream cookie?
[05:28] Mone
There's nothing to drink, though.
[05:30] Chihori
You can't eat a buttercream
cookie without a drink!
[05:32] Yuina
No, thanks. It's okay. I'll be fine.
[05:34] Chihori
Without a drink, it'd be way too sweet.
[05:37] Mone
But hey, listen to this.
[05:39] Mone
I got some imported dishes as
a holiday gift last year.
[05:42] Mone
Imported dishware is really cute.
[05:45] Chihori
Oh, is it?
[05:48] Mone
They're really fancy and
stylish and they fly,
[05:51] Mone
so they make any meal look delicious.
[05:53] Yuina
Imported dishes...
[05:54] Chihori
That's so neat. I want
some flying dishes, too.
[05:57] Mone
Flying dishes are great, ya hear?
[05:59] Yuina
They fly, huh?
[06:02] Yuina
What?! Wait. Is this...?
[06:09] Mone
Why do we have to go back, anyway?
[06:11] Chihori
'Cause we have to. It's a school day.
[06:13] Yuina
It's all back to where it started!
[06:15] Mone
What's wrong, Yuina?
What's back to where it started?
[06:19] Chihori
The food you ate?
[06:20] Mone
Here's a barf bag.
[06:22] Yuina
That's my backpack!
[06:23] Yuina
And that's not what I'm saying!
I mean that time started over!
[06:26] Mone
Wha? The old time slip trick?
[06:29] Yuina
Daibutsu with lipstick?
[06:30] Mone
Why'd you have to play the
sexy Buddha card right now?
[06:32] Mone
Yuina is on the verge of
sci-fi enlightenment.
[06:34] Mone
Keep your satorical jokes to yourself.
[06:36] Yuina
You mean neither of you noticed?
[06:38] Mone
There we go. Sci-fi is the way, Yuina.
[06:41] Yuina
I'm being serious!
[06:43] Yuina
Time keeps repeating!
[06:46] Yuina
Huh? Huh? Huh?!
[06:49] Mone
Why do we have to go back, anyway?
[06:52] Chihori
'Cause we have to.
[06:53] Yuina
What?!
[06:54] Chihori
Oh! You surprised me!
[06:56] Mone
What's wrong, Yuina?
[06:57] Mone
Did you see a horsehair crab
walking forwards or something?
[06:59] Chihori
A straightforward crab?
The real honest type?
[07:02] Yuina
We're back again.
[07:04] Yuina
Is it going to keep looping forever?
[07:06] Yuina
And that loop was even
shorter than the last. Why?
[07:10] Yuina
Calm down, Yuina. This is when
you gotta start counting sheep.
[07:13] Yuina
There must be some rule to the looping.
[07:16] Yuina
If I can just figure it out...
[07:18] Yuina
Could it have started over
because I told them?
[07:21] Chihori
Something wrong, Yuina?
[07:23] Mone
Are you hungry? Want a buttercream cookie?
[07:25] Mone
There's nothing to drink, though.
[07:27] Chihori
You can't eat a buttercream
cookie without a drink!
[07:29] Yuina
That has to be it. I can't let
them know what's happening.
[07:33] Yuina
If I break the rules, it starts over.
[07:33] Chihori
It's so good! But it tastes so sweet...
[07:36] Yuina
It keeps resetting at the same moment.
[07:38] Mone
Mm-hmm.
[07:40] Yuina
That buzzer sound... that's like when you
give the wrong answer on a quiz show.
[07:44] Mone
But hey, listen to this.
[07:46] Mone
I got some imported dishes as
a holiday gift last year.
[07:49] Yuina
Here it is!
[07:50] Yuina
What am I getting wrong?
And what is the right response?
[07:55] Mone
Imported dishware is really cute.
[07:58] Chihori
Oh, really?
[07:59] Yuina
I've been wondering...
[08:01] Mone
They're really fancy and stylish and they fly,
[08:04] Mone
so they make any meal look delicious.
[08:06] Yuina
Dishes don't fly, do they?
[08:09] Yuina
Dishes floating up into the air...
[08:12] Yuina
Oh!
[08:12] Yuina
That's just a poltergeist!
[08:16] Mone
Ah, I hadn't thought of that.
[08:17] Yuina
Huh? Huh?
[08:20] Yuina
What? Were those lamps there before?
[08:23] Mone
Lamps? What are you talking about?
[08:25] Yuina
Huh?
[08:26] Yuina
Could it be... they don't see them?
[08:29] Yuina
N-Never mind.
[08:31] Yuina
It didn't repeat again.
[08:32] Yuina
And that sound must mean
I got it right or something.
[08:36] Yuina
Is that why the lamp lit up?
[08:38] Yuina
There are seven lamps...
[08:40] Yuina
Only one is on now. But why
did that one turn on?
[08:44] (Flashback) Mone
Somethin' tells me ya don't know about
the seven folk legends of Hokkaido.
[08:49] (Flashback) Yuina
That's a poltergeist!
[08:51] Yuina
Mysteries of the unknown!
[08:53] Yuina
The seven lamps must
represent seven mysteries.
[08:55] Yuina
A poltergeist must have been one,
and that's why the lamp lit up.
[09:00] Yuina
So, the previous loop...
[09:03] Yuina
I broke out of it when I got the answer right.
[09:05] Yuina
I guess it kept looping because I didn't
react to the flying plate thing.
[09:09] Yuina
So there are seven mysteries
in our conversation,
[09:11] Yuina
and I need a comeback for each one?
[09:15] Yuina
But I don't know what
the mysteries could be.
[09:18] Yuina
I'd look them up, but I'm
out of range, so I can't.
SIGN Out of Range
[09:21] Chihori
Is Yuina talking to herself?
[09:24] Mone
I bet she's working on a new bit.
[09:26] Mone
Maybe she's finally embracing her
role as a space-manzai comic.
[09:30] Chihori
Ah, buttercream cookies are a
national treasure of Hokkaido.
[09:34] Mone
They go beyond national.
More like a planetary treasure.
[09:38] Mone
The delicious flavor is out of this world.
[09:40] Chihori
They actually sell them on Pluto
for ten times the original price.
[09:44] Mone
Oh, do they?
[09:46] Mone
Sometimes you talk about space like
you've actually been there, Chihori.
[09:49] Chihori
I h-haven't! That isn't even possible.
[09:52] Mone
I know. It's just a joke.
[09:54] Chihori
Yeah, a joke. A joke.
[09:56] Yuina
Phew. That wasn't one
of the seven mysteries.
[09:59] Yuina
I guess I can ignore Chihori's
usual silly setups.
[10:02] Mone
Here, have the last one.
[10:03] Yuina
Oh, thank you.
[10:05] Chihori
Wait a minute. How did you
buy buttercream cookies?
[10:08] Chihori
When was there time for that?
[10:09] Mone
I didn't buy them. They were given to me.
[10:12] Chihori
Huh? Someone giving away
buttercream cookies must be a god.
[10:15] Chihori
The buttergod?
[10:16] Yuina
I've never heard of such a calorie-rich god.
[10:18] Mone
Not a god. More like, um...
[10:22] Mone
A really wee person.
[10:23] Yuina
You mean a child?
[10:25] Mone
No, not a child. I dunno. A wee person.
[10:29] Yuina
How big?
[10:30] Mone
This big.
[10:31] Chihori
That's tiny!
[10:32] Yuina
That's too tiny!
[10:33] Mone
But a buttercream cookie
is about this big, right?
[10:36] Mone
It makes sense that the buttergod
would be that big, too.
[10:39] Chihori
She does have a point there.
[10:41] Yuina
I guess the buttergod is pretty small.
[10:44] Yuina
Oh, no!
[10:48] Mone
Why do we have to go back, anyway?
[10:50] Chihori
'Cause we have to.
[10:52] Yuina
How come?!
[10:53] Chihori
Oh! You surprised me!
[10:54] Mone
What's wrong, Yuina?
[10:55] Mone
Did you find out your grandma was a pumpkin?
[10:57] Chihori
It would be shocking to find a pumpkin
growing from your family tree.
[11:01] Yuina
It's repeating again. What did I get wrong?
[11:05] Mone
But hey, listen to this.
[11:06] Mone
I got some dishes as a
holiday gift last year.
[11:09] Mone
And they float into the air,
and it looks so nice.
[11:11] Yuina
A poltergeist!
[11:14] Yuina
The second mystery must have been
in the conversation somewhere.
[11:18] Yuina
So missing it does make the loop start over.
[11:20] Chihori
Wait a minute. How did you
buy buttercream cookies?
[11:23] Chihori
When was there time for that?
[11:25] Mone
I didn't buy them. They were given to me.
[11:27] Yuina
What is it? What is the next mystery?
[11:30] Mone
Um, a really wee person. Like this big.
[11:34] Yuina
A wee person?
[11:35] Yuina
Where have I heard a story like that before?
[11:38] Yuina
Oh, I know. I'm sure it was...
[11:41] Yuina
That's a Korpokkur!
[11:45] Yuina
Yes!
[11:46] Mone
Oh. It was a Korpokkur.
[11:49] Mone
That explains why it was so small.
[11:51] Chihori
That sure was nice of the Korpokkur
to give you a buttercream cookie.
[11:52] Yuina
If I can keep dishing out
the right comebacks,
[11:55] Yuina
time should go forward without repeating.
[11:58] Yuina
But that sounds totally exhausting.
SIGN Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SIGN Invaders
[12:09] Yuina
My true name is Jupitris Naru-Naru Nyuigi—
[12:13] Yuina
Ah, I botched it again.
[12:14] Mone
Your training is far from complete.
[12:17] Yuina
I told you it was too difficult!
[12:19] Mone
Oh yeah? Jupitris Naru-Naru Neiji
Yuina is easy for me to say.
[12:23] Yuina
That's because you came up with it, Mone.
[12:27] Yuina
Why did we have to go with the
"we are space aliens" theme, anyway?
[12:30] Mone
We had to. We needed something
to give us character.
[12:33] Mone
That first performance was
really our turning point.
[12:37] Chihori
Who would have thought space alien
characters would be so popular?
[12:39] Yuina
Which means we can't turn back,
and now I just have to suffer with it.
[12:44] Mone
But don't you think it would be awesome
if we took the Teppen like this?
[12:48] Mone
We'd be big stars in Hokkaido!
[12:50] Chihori
Stars, huh?
[12:52] Chihori
I wonder if my mother and father 30,000
light years away would be happy for us.
[12:57] Yuina
N-No! That's the wrong spot!
Quit setting me up, Chihori!
[13:01] Mone
Actually, I have a dream about becoming
famous and reuniting with an old friend.
[13:07] Chihori
Oh, this is gonna be good.
[13:09] Mone
I don't know where she's living now,
[13:12] Mone
but I bet she'd find me
once we become famous.
[13:16] Yuina
Yeah, I bet. That happens sometimes.
[13:18] Mone
She was so nice.
[13:20] Yuina
Was she?
[13:22] Mone
Ate a lot, laughed a lot...
[13:24] Yuina
Huh.
[13:25] Mone
...and her body was all green.
[13:27] Yuina
What a development.
[13:29] Mone
Also, she lived deep underground.
Have you heard about it?
[13:32] Mone
I went home with her once, and there
was this huge city underground.
[13:37] Yuina
An underground... city?
[13:38] Mone
Yeah. It had this weird vibe to it,
[13:41] Mone
like it was tens of thousands
of years old or something.
[13:44] Yuina
An underground city that's tens
of thousands of years old...
[13:47] Yuina
That's the lost underground
city of Shambhala!
[13:52] Yuina
Nice! I'm on a roll!
[13:53] Mone
What are you doing, Yuina?
[13:55] Chihori
You seem happy about something.
[13:56] Yuina
I-It's nothing!
[13:58] Yuina
I just wish I could meet Mone's
fresh, green friend, too.
[14:02] Mone
Don't talk about people's friends
like they're vegetables.
[14:07] Chihori
So your mother and father encouraged you
to do the Teppen Grand Prix, Yuina?
[14:13] Yuina
Yeah. They keep telling
me to give it all I got.
[14:16] Yuina
My dad, you know, used to be
in a band and tried to go pro.
[14:20] Yuina
He'd say, "We're gonna rock you
so hard, it'll set Hokkaido on fire!"
[14:24] Yuina
At least that's what I've heard.
[14:25] Yuina
Pretty cheesy, huh?
[14:26] Mone
Very cheesy.
[14:27] Yuina
Eventually he gave up, got a
real job, and got married.
[14:32] Yuina
But since my dad was like that too,
[14:35] Yuina
he told me to do whatever
I wanted while I was young.
[14:38] Chihori
That was a somewhat nice story.
[14:40] Yuina
Somewhat?
[14:42] Mone
I'm jealous, Yuina.
[14:44] Mone
I've kind of got a problem
with my dad at home.
[14:47] Yuina
A problem?
[14:49] Chihori
This is the first I've heard of it.
[14:50] Yuina
Are you really worried about it?
[14:52] Yuina
We'll listen if you want to talk about it.
[14:54] Mone
Yeah. Actually, my dad...
[14:58] Mone
won't build me a giant robot.
[15:01] Yuina
Huh?
[15:02] Chihori
And what's the problem with that?
[15:04] Mone
It's a huge problem!
[15:06] Mone
The dad is supposed to make a
giant robot for the kid to pilot.
[15:09] Mone
It happens all the time in robot anime!
SIGN We Asked 100 Robot Anime Protagonists,
"Who Built Your Robot?"
SIGN Father Built It
SIGN I Stole It
SIGN I Found It at School
SIGN It Was the School
SIGN Other
[15:11] Mone
The results of the survey say so!
[15:14] Yuina
When did you have time to conduct a survey?
[15:16] Mone
My chances of piloting a robot
[15:19] Mone
have dropped off the charts because
my dad won't build me one.
[15:22] Mone
It's a huge problem!
[15:24] Yuina
Sorry. I'm having trouble
seeing it that way.
[15:27] Mone
If he won't build me a robot,
[15:29] Mone
at least he could don a
mask and black uniform
[15:31] Mone
and start hissing, like, "Shu-koh, shu-koh."
[15:34] Mone
Without an enemy like that, how can
I become the hero of an interstellar war?
[15:38] Yuina
Maybe you're aiming a little too high.
[15:40] Chihori
The black mask and "shu-koh,
shu-koh" reminds me...
[15:43] Yuina
A black mask and "shu-koh, shu-koh"
reminds you of something?
[15:47] Chihori
Do you remember that "Hokkaido! Doh! Doh!" gag
[15:51] Chihori
that propelled the comedian,
Bushido Sasaoka, to stardom?
[15:55] Chihori
One time when Sasaoka-san was doing a gag on
location in Sapporo, he started thinking,
[16:00] Chihori
"I've got to take a good, long look at myself
and perfect my delivery of this joke."
[16:04] Mone
Would delivery really help that joke?
[16:06] Yuina
That's rude, Mone.
[16:07] Chihori
Then Sasaoka-san happened
upon another person
[16:11] Chihori
who looked just like him
doing the exact same joke.
[16:13] Mone
Looked just like him? Like a
ninja's bunshin ability?
[16:17] Chihori
Maybe if you really perfect your jokes,
it turns into a kind of ninjutsu.
[16:22] Yuina
Is it ninjutsu? No...
[16:24] Yuina
A phenomenon when you
encounter your double.
[16:27] Yuina
I've heard about that
somewhere. It's got to be...
[16:30] Yuina
That's a doppelgänger!
[16:33] Yuina
Correct! Now there's three left.
[16:35] Yuina
Once I light them all up,
I should escape this time loop.
[16:42] Mone
It must be nice to be rich
like everyone in Celebri-Tea.
[16:46] Yuina
Doesn't your family own a big farm, Mone?
[16:49] Mone
Yeah, but that's Hokkaido.
[16:51] Mone
A farm in Hokkaido is worth about
as much as one tatami mat in Osaka.
[16:55] Yuina
That can't be right.
[16:56] Mone
I wish they'd at least hide a
giant robot underneath the farm.
[17:00] Mone
The ground would split open, and the
robot would go "brrr" and come out.
[17:04] Yuina
It would be a disaster, because
the cows would all fall in!
[17:07] Chihori
A while ago, I met an old lady who
said she lived in Lake Kussharo.
[17:12] Chihori
She seemed pretty rich.
And she had this huge dog!
[17:16] Yuina
Yeah, you gotta be rich to have a big dog.
[17:19] Mone
Lucky her. What was its name?
[17:21] Chihori
I don't know the breed, but it looked...
[17:24] Chihori
Something like this.
[17:26] Yuina
Isn't that... not a dog?
[17:27] Mone
How big was it?
[17:28] Chihori
Maybe about 15 meters.
[17:30] Yuina
That's a monster!
[17:31] Yuina
Wait! This must be...
[17:34] Yuina
Um, um...
[17:37] Yuina
A 15-meter-long monster that
is clearly not a dog...
[17:40] Yuina
Was there a mysterious
phenomenon like that?
[17:43] Chihori
You don't look well, Yuina.
[17:45] Mone
Want a potato stick?
[17:47] Yuina
Wait. But if it's living in Lake
Kussharo, that must mean...
[17:53] Yuina
That's Kussie!
[17:55] Yuina
Oh! I got it!
[17:57] Mone
Ah, the monster that lives in
Lake Kussharo in Teshikaga.
[18:01] Mone
Now that you mention it, I haven't
heard about many sightings recently.
[18:07] Mone
Hokkaido, like, beats all
the other prefectures.
[18:11] Chihori
Oh, yeah. The food is delicious, and the
environment is beautiful. It's the best.
[18:16] Mone
No, that's not what I mean.
[18:18] Yuina
Then what do you mean?
[18:19] Mone
If you threw the prefectures like shuriken,
[18:23] Mone
the Hokkaido one would totally dominate.
[18:25] Yuina
Where'd you get those?
[18:26] Mone
I made them from cardboard.
[18:28] Mone
Tokyo is small and probably
wouldn't fly far.
[18:31] Mone
Osaka is unbalanced and
would probably fall flat.
[18:34] Mone
The only other prefecture
that could compete is Iwate.
[18:37] Mone
But I think our Hokkaido would still win.
[18:40] Chihori
Hokkaido certainly might be the strongest.
[18:42] Chihori
Especially since the residents are so tough.
[18:45] Yuina
Are they? They don't seem that way to me.
[18:47] Chihori
But I saw a woman running
wicked fast the other day.
[18:51] Yuina
Maybe she was a track-and-field athlete.
[18:53] Yuina
What? No way! For that?!
[18:58] Mone
Why do we have to go back, anyway?
[19:00] Chihori
'Cause we have to.
[19:02] Chihori
Oh? What's wrong, Yuina?
[19:04] Yuina
Not again...
[19:07] Yuina
Poltergeist!
[19:08] Yuina
Korpokkur!
[19:09] Yuina
Shambhala!
[19:09] Yuina
Doppelgänger!
[19:10] Yuina
Kussie!
[19:14] Yuina
I've finally made it back here.
[19:17] Yuina
I gotta get it right this time!
[19:19] Chihori
I saw a woman running wicked
fast the other day.
[19:22] Chihori
She was as fast as a northern
fox being chased by a bear.
[19:26] Mone
That's the speed of sound!
[19:27] Yuina
This woman must be connected to
some mysterious phenomenon.
[19:30] Yuina
But "running fast" isn't enough information.
[19:33] Yuina
If I can just get another hint...
[19:35] Yuina
Do you remember what the woman looked like?
[19:38] Chihori
What she looked like? She was pretty.
[19:41] Yuina
Anything else?
[19:42] Chihori
Hmm...
[19:43] Chihori
You know, her clothes did
seem a bit out-of-style.
[19:46] Chihori
Like from the 1970s, I guess.
[19:49] Yuina
And?
[19:50] Chihori
She was a narcissist.
[19:51] Mone
How do you know her personality?
[19:53] Chihori
Well, she kept asking everybody
around, "Am I pretty?"
[19:57] Mone
That is quite the narcissist.
[19:59] Chihori
Oh, and her mouth was split open.
[20:00] Yuina
Why didn't you say that earlier?!
[20:03] Yuina
The Slit-Mouthed Woman!
[20:07] Yuina
Sweet! Just one left.
[20:09] Chihori
Look! You can see the school.
[20:12] Yuina
You're right!
[20:13] Yuina
It's always a relief to
see a familiar building.
[20:17] Mone
That isn't necessarily true.
[20:18] Mone
Sometimes people are really shocked
when they see familiar structures.
[20:22] Yuina
For example?
[20:23] Mone
Like when he finds the Statue of Liberty
and yells, "You maniacs! You blew it up!"
[20:27] Yuina
But that's a super-unusual case!
[20:29] Chihori
Time just flew by as we were chatting.
[20:32] Chihori
I thought we'd be able to
practice our bits more.
[20:35] Mone
No kidding. Yuina still can't
say her true name yet.
[20:38] Yuina
My true name is Jupitris
Naru-Naru Neiji Yuina. See?
[20:43] Mone
Oh! That's awesome, Yuina! Perfect!
[20:46] Mone
You can actually do it now!
[20:47] Chihori
Wow! You improved so much in just two hours!
[20:51] Yuina
It wasn't two hours, though.
[20:53] Yuina
Not for me.
[20:59] Mone
Ah, I'm pooped. I'm gonna
take a long bath tonight.
[21:03] Chihori
Traveling long distances
does wear you out, huh.
[21:05] Chihori
It reminds me of when I first came to Earth.
[21:11] Yuina
That last lamp never lit up.
[21:13] Yuina
I still don't know what the seventh mystery was.
[21:16] Yuina
Is this how it's supposed to be?
[21:27] Yuina
What's that?
[21:31] Mone
Wow! What's this?
[21:33] Yuina
Oh, I get it now!
[21:35] Yuina
The last of the seven mysteries!
[21:37] Yuina
I'm glad this one was so simple.
[21:40] Yuina
Overenthusiastic crop harvesting!
[21:43] Yuina
Huh? Wait a... Wait! No! Don't!
[21:52] Mone
Why do we have to go back, anyway?
[21:54] Chihori
'Cause we have to.
[21:56] Chihori
Hmm? What's wrong, Yuina?
[21:59] Yuina
Not again!
[22:01] Chihori
Are you okay, Yuina?
[22:03] Mone
Want a buttercream cookie?
[22:05] [SONG] Lead
Go! We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
[22:09] [SONG] back
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
[22:16] [SONG] lead
Hi! Hi! Hello! Let's get
on with the show today.
[22:19] [SONG] lead
We've just got four minutes, but we
hope you hear everything that we say.
[22:22] [SONG] back
Hey there cutie, hey there cutie,
didn't even miss a beat there, cutie.
[22:24] [SONG] lead
We hope you enjoy the show today.
[22:27] [SONG] lead
Here at home with you, in your living room,
we'll put a twinkle into your eyes.
[22:33] [SONG] lead
We've all dreamed to see if we could be
on a stage so free. Now it's a reality!
[22:42] [SONG] lead
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
[22:45] [SONG] lead
It's all good when we're laughing together.
[22:48] [SONG] lead
If we bomb, slip, even if we cry,
so what! That's still part of our destiny.
[22:54] [SONG] lead
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
[22:56] [SONG] lead
We'll hit it big if we
keep laughing together.
[22:59] [SONG] lead
We never knew that life
could ever be like this,
[23:02] [SONG] lead
and now that we're going, you know
there's no way we'll ever stop!
[23:05] [SONG] lead
We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
[23:09] [SONG] back
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
[23:10] [SONG] lead
All of our searching, all of our
training is fading out into the past.
[23:16] [SONG] lead
But to us now, those memories
will always be so precious.
[23:22] [SONG] lead
All of the tears, all of the pain,
rewriting life with our own words.
[23:27] [SONG] lead
We want to laugh it all away with you,
right up to the end. And that's a wrap!
SIGN The Flour Chapter
E6 - The Flour Chapter
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Iroha; Kana; Chitose
Hello there!
[00:04] Iroha; Kana; Chitose
Bull's-eye!
[00:06] Iroha; Kana; Chitose
Nin-nin!
[00:07] Iroha; Kana; Chitose
We're Bullet Kunoichi!
[00:09] Kana
You know, something's been bothering me.
[00:11] Chitose
Oh? What is it?
[00:12] Kana
I want to get better at housecleaning,
[00:15] Kana
but if I get too good, the emperor of darkness
might notice me or something.
[00:21] Kana
He'll say,
[00:22] Kana
"If you're so good at cleaning, how about
you wipe out the human race for me?"
[00:24] Kana
What if he asks me that? What should I do?
[00:27] Chitose
How would we know?
[00:28] Chitose
You went from cleaning house to
becoming the destroyer of worlds!
[00:31] Iroha
Why can't you just get a little
better at cleaning instead?
[00:35] Kana
That's easy for you to say.
[00:38] [SONG] all
Yeah!
[00:38] [SONG] Yomogi
So, what's comedy?
[00:39] [SONG] Yayoi
Yo!
[00:40] [SONG] Yuzu
Tough question, for me
[00:41] [SONG] Yayoi
What could it be?
It's too far out to see!
[00:42] [SONG] Yuzu & Yomogi
Be! See!
[00:43] [SONG] Yomogi
Boke and tsukkomi, in the zone
[00:43] [SONG] Yayoi
Ye ye, in the zone!
[00:45] [SONG] Yuzu
We got god-tier jokes on the horizon
[00:45] [SONG] Yayoi & Yomogi
God! Horizon!
[00:47] [SONG] Kana
Wanna see us split into bunshin
[00:47] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Yeah!
[00:48] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Bullets!
[00:48] [SONG] Kana
And hear gags flying at you like bullets?
[00:50] [SONG] Kana
Leave it to comedy ninjas!
[00:51] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Nin-nin!
[00:51] [SONG] Saeka
High society, celebrity
[00:51] [SONG] Hikari & Mako
High! Celebrity!
[00:53] [SONG] Saeka
The cleanest jokes are our priority
[00:54] [SONG] Hikari & Mako
Priority!
[00:56] [SONG] Miyu
Yeah, Akudare, making you all laugh
[00:56] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Yeah!
[00:57] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Ah! Ah!
[00:58] [SONG] Miyu
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back
[00:58] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back!
[01:00] [SONG] Yuina
We. Are. The. Invaders. Yo.
[01:01] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
Ah Invaders
[01:02] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
That should tell you all you need to know
[01:03] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
Need to know!
[01:04] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Yeah!
[01:04] [SONG] Yuzu
Shake it up, Wai-Wai!
[01:04] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Wai-Wai!
[01:05] [SONG] Yomogi
Heat up the timeline!
[01:06] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Timeline!
[01:06] [SONG] Yayoi
Scramble for the win,
we won't give up our pride
[01:08] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Pride!
[01:09] [SONG] Yomogi
Found a new line
[01:09] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Oh!
[01:09] [SONG] Yuzu
Gonna sweep the prime time
[01:11] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Oh!
[01:11] [SONG] Yayoi
Who's on top then?
[01:12] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Gotta take the Teppen!
[01:12] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina
Take it to the top
[01:14] [SONG] all call
Doin' it for real!
[01:15] [SONG] Kana; Saeka
We'll show you, giving everything
we got, oh yeah
[01:16] [SONG] all call
Oh yeah
[01:17] [SONG] Miyu; Yuina
Gonna face the challenge head-on
[01:17] [SONG] all call
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
[01:19] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina
Running straight ahead
[01:19] [SONG] all call
Yo! Yo! Yo!
[01:21] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai
Take it to the top
[01:21] [SONG] all call
Yeah that's right!
[01:23] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai
It's show
[01:24] [SONG] Yomogi
Don't slow down to hear them
call you funny, not a day
[01:26] [SONG] Yuzu
You'll never reach the top that way
[01:26] [SONG] all call
Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh yeah!
[01:28] [SONG] Yayoi
You know it's true, what we say
[01:30] [SONG] all call
Hey!
[01:31] [SONG] all sing
But this isn't about us just getting a laugh
[01:34] [SONG] all call
Yeah! Yeah!
[01:37] [SONG] all sing
That's not why we're here
It's much bigger, bigger than all that
[01:40] [SONG] all call
All that
[01:41] [SONG] all sing
We want to get
[01:41] [SONG] all call
We want to get, yeah!
[01:44] [SONG] all sing
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
[01:44] [SONG] all call
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
[01:49] [SONG] all sing
Yeah if we are the ones
that are making you laugh
[01:49] [SONG] all call
Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye!
[01:54] [SONG] all sing
We gotta go so hard it'll really,
really give us that, you know?
[01:58] [SONG] all sing
Top of the laugh
[01:58] [SONG] all call
Top of the laugh Ye~ah!
[02:01] [SONG] all sing
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way.
We're gonna make it to the top one day!
[02:01] [SONG] all call
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way,
oh! We're gonna make it to the top one day!
[02:06] [SONG] Yayoi
Aw yeah!
SIGN The Flour Chapter
[02:10] Seiji
All right, then. See you later.
[02:11] Yayoi
Good luck at the World Maximum Power Outlet!
[02:15] Yomogi
No, it's the World Mammoth Museum. Right?
[02:18] Kana
Huh? It's the Wanbada Moscow Mule Contest.
[02:20] Seiji
That's totally wrong!
[02:21] Seiji
World Muscle Coliseum!
[02:23] Seiji
It's in America. It's the most influential
bodybuilding contest in the world!
[02:29] Iroha
Gimme two years, and I'll be there.
[02:31] Seiji
Step on up when you're ready, girl.
[02:35] Yomogi
You'll be gone four days?
[02:36] Seiji
Right. I'm a little worried about you,
so I planned a tight schedule.
[02:41] Seiji
Be good while I'm gone, okay?
[02:42] Kana
Just sail off like you're on a Black Ship
and leave the rest to us.
[02:45] Chitose
Is he going to open the
country or something?
[02:47] Seiji
Just don't make a mess or
get into any trouble, okay?
[02:51] Iroha
You worry too much!
[02:52] Yayoi
It's only four days. It'll be fine.
[02:54] Yayoi
Right, Yuzu?
[02:55] Yuzu
Huh? Um, yeah.
[02:57] Yayoi
What's wrong, Yuzu?
[02:59] Yuzu
N-Nothing. It's only four days.
No problem at all!
[03:04] Seiji
Yeah, I'm sure you're right.
[03:06] Yuzu; Yayoi; Yomogi; Iroha; Kana; Chitose
Have a safe trip!
[03:10] Chitose
What are you talking about?
[03:11] Chitose
What are you talking about?
[03:13] Chitose
Why a toothbrush?
[03:14] Iroha
It's great that you're
practicing your comebacks,
[03:16] Iroha
but don't get too carried away, Chitose.
[03:19] Iroha
Remember, since Seiji-san is gone,
we have to make our own meals, too.
[03:24] Chitose
If we split the work,
we'll figure something out.
[03:27] Chitose
I bet Celebri-Tea could
make something amazing.
[03:30] Chitose
At least their men in black will.
[03:31] Iroha
Oh right, those men in black.
[03:33] Chitose
Seiji-san sure is a worrywart, though.
[03:36] Chitose
The dorm isn't going to get trashed
or destroyed in just four days.
[03:41] Iroha
What's wrong?
[03:43] Kana
Spider! A spider!
[03:44] Kana
A spider which is a man!
[03:45] Iroha
Relax, Kana! It might be female!
[03:48] Kana
That doesn't matter!
[03:50] Kana
A weapon! I need a weapon!
[03:52] Kana
I don't do spiders!
[03:54] Chitose
You need something hard!
[03:55] Iroha
How about this?
[03:56] Kana
Thanks!
[03:56] Chitose
Huh? Hey!
[03:57] Kana
Chesuto!
[04:05] Kana
Uh...
[04:07] Chitose
What are we gonna do about this?
[04:10] Iroha
What can we do?
[04:12] Iroha
When Seiji-san comes back,
we'll just have to apologize.
[04:15] Chitose
That won't be enough!
[04:17] Chitose
You know how protective
Seiji-san is of this place!
[04:20] Chitose
If he finds out...
[04:21] Iroha
I-If he finds out?
[04:23] Seiji
Get to work!
[04:26] Chitose; Iroha; Kana
It's too heavy!
[04:27] Chitose
That'll totally happen.
[04:29] Iroha
We're in serious trouble!
[04:31] Kana
Then our only hope is to repair it.
[04:34] Iroha
Kana?
[04:35] Chitose
Where'd that uniform come from?
[04:37] Kana
Full disclosure, my uncle
is a famous carpenter.
[04:40] Kana
I started helping him out
at work when I was a kid.
[04:44] Chitose
Huh. I never knew that.
[04:46] Kana
Yeah, so repairing this
will be a piece of cake.
[04:49] Iroha
I've never seen Kana so responsible before!
[04:51] Kana
I'll show you what I can do.
[04:58] Kana
Well, that was a good day's work.
[05:01] Chitose
What have you done?!
[05:03] Iroha
Don't make it sound like a joke!
[05:05] Chitose
That's even bigger than the first hole!
[05:07] Chitose
Are you sure you helped your uncle?
[05:09] Kana
Yeah. Until I was about three.
[05:11] Chitose
You were just a baby! If you'd been a
digital monster, you'd still be a ball!
[05:15] Kana
I couldn't help it!
[05:16] Kana
If I'd kept at it, I would've eventually
become the genius carpentry artist
[05:20] Kana
in charge of building the
European royal palace.
[05:23] Kana
But I couldn't speak European,
so I decided to stop helping out.
[05:27] Chitose
You've been daydreaming like
this since you were three?!
[05:30] Iroha
Fine. I'll take care of it myself, then.
[05:33] Kana
Iroha-senpai!
[05:34] Chitose
Iroha, are you up to that?
[05:36] Iroha
I never told you, but I've done
tons of construction work before.
[05:40] Kana
Really?
[05:41] Iroha
Yeah, in video games.
[05:42] Chitose
Video games?!
[05:43] Iroha
But I'm our only hope now. Just trust me!
[05:47] Iroha
Here I go!
[05:57] Iroha
Real life isn't like a video game.
[06:00] Chitose
Yeah. You can't restart.
[06:03] Miyu
Hey! It's almost time for supper!
[06:06] Chitose
We'd better go.
[06:08] Kana
Yeah, yeah.
[06:09] Kana
There's still time before
the manager returns.
[06:11] Kana
We'll figure something out.
SIGN Young Wai-Wai
[06:15] Hina
Supper's almost ready.
[06:17] Yayoi
Okay, just a minute.
[06:20] Yayoi
Yuzu, what's wrong?
[06:23] Yayoi
Are you sure you're okay?
[06:24] Yuzu
Yeah, I'm fine.
[06:27] Yuzu
I knew I was getting a canker sore.
[06:30] Yuzu
Darn it. Even talking hurts.
[06:33] Yomogi
Yuzu, do you have a
stomachache or something?
[06:36] Yuzu
Not at all. I'll be out in a second.
[06:40] Yuzu
We still have to practice,
so I don't want to distract them.
[06:44] Yayoi
Something is definitely wrong.
Is she keeping a secret from us?
[06:49] Yomogi
Maybe something she's afraid to talk about.
[06:51] Yomogi
Money problems or something?
[06:53] Yayoi
We can't let her suffer alone!
[06:55] Yayoi
We gotta figure out what
it is and help her fix it.
[06:58] Yomogi
You're right. That's what friends are for.
[07:01] Mone
Eh? Your stagehands are all gone?
[07:04] Saeka
They all took time off and
left for vacation yesterday.
[07:08] Hikari
It's just like you to offer
them benefits, Saeka!
[07:12] Saeka
But I'm a little perturbed
by your reactions.
[07:15] Saeka
Did you think we can't prepare a
decent meal without our attendants?
[07:22] Mone
I did.
[07:22] Yuina
I did.
[07:23] Misao
I did.
[07:24] Hina
I did.
[07:25] Miyu
I did!
[07:25] Misao
Don't say it out loud!
[07:27] Saeka
Very well, then.
[07:28] Saeka
We will make you thoroughly understand
that we aren't simply useless celebrities.
[07:33] Saeka
Is everything prepared?
[07:34] Mako
Of course!
[07:36] Chihori
I'm looking forward to trying
an Earthling celebrity meal.
[07:39] Misao
A celebrity meal? You know what
that's gotta be, right, Hina?
[07:42] Hina
A high-class meal in
Ibaraki would be a melon.
[07:45] Mone
For melons, you gotta go to Hokkaido.
[07:48] Yuina
Mm-hmm. Yubari melons are the best in Japan!
[07:50] Miyu
You amateurs wouldn't understand.
[07:52] Mone
Hmm? What'd you say?
[07:54] Miyu
Ibaraki is the largest
producer of melons in Japan.
[07:57] Miyu
It's been that way for 20 years.
[07:58] Miyu
Melons are the proud local
delicacy of Ibaraki!
[08:01] Mone
Huh. But are Ibaraki melons even famous?
[08:05] Miyu
They're totally famous! You've never
heard of the Ibaraking melon?
[08:09] Yuina
Sorry, I haven't.
[08:11] Miyu
What the heck is wrong with you!
[08:16] Miyu
Misao, Hina.
[08:17] Miyu
I guess I'm gonna have to do stand-up
[08:20] Miyu
in this costume to promote Ibaraki melons!
[08:22] Misao
Oh, no, you ain't.
[08:24] Misao
If you go on stage looking like a ball,
nobody will listen to the jokes!
[08:27] Miyu
Oh, that's cold!
[08:28] Miyu
You really gonna let Hokkaido
steal our melons' citizenship?
[08:31] Hina
I kinda don't care.
[08:33] Miyu
Ugh...
[08:33] Misao
It's ready!
[08:35] Chihori
Celeb dinner time!
[08:37] Mone
What is it?
[08:39] Saeka
Nagoya's famous Taiwan
ramen, Brazilian style.
[08:42] Misao
Huh? What?
[08:44] Yomogi
You stuffed three different
place names into that line.
[08:47] Saeka
There, there. Don't be so picky.
Please help yourselves.
[08:51] Yuina
Delicious!
[08:52] Kana
I've never had it before,
but the flavor is so familiar.
[08:55] Saeka
I never had it, either, until I
became friends with Mako.
[09:00] Hikari
She said, "I'll show you a celeb
delicacy you've never had before,"
[09:03] Hikari
and introduced us to Taiwan ramen.
[09:06] Saeka
It was as if the ingredients and seasonings
weren't blending, but were battling.
[09:10] Saeka
What an exhilarating flavor!
[09:11] Saeka
One mouthful would be so rich with
flavor you'd want to drink water,
[09:14] Saeka
but instead you'd go for another!
Mysteriously appealing!
[09:17] Saeka
I've eaten all kinds of world-class
cuisine since childhood,
[09:20] Saeka
but I assure you I've never had anything
quite as appealing as Taiwan ramen!
[09:25] Mako
I don't think I can stand all this praise.
[09:28] Hikari
If you've never had junk food,
the flavor is a revelation.
[09:32] Mone
It is actually pretty good,
but what part of it is Brazilian?
[09:36] Saeka
That was...
[09:37] Saeka
The cook who taught me the recipe
practiced jiu-jitsu as a hobby.
SIGN Gureishii Brothers
[09:41] Misao
Brazilian jiu-jitsu?!
[09:44] Yayoi
What's wrong, Yuzu? Aren't you eating?
[09:47] Yomogi
It's got a funny name,
but it's actually good.
[09:49] Yuzu
Eh? No, I'm good.
[09:51] Yuzu
If I eat that with this
canker sore, I'm a goner!
[09:55] Yayoi; Yomogi
Does that mean... she's on a diet?!
[09:58] Yayoi
She doesn't look like
she's gained any weight,
[10:00] Yayoi
but sometimes people get
really self-conscious!
[10:02] Yomogi
I get it. She's hearing the sirens
from the diet police inside her head!
[10:06] Yayoi
We need to make her realize
she doesn't need a diet.
[10:10] Yayoi
And for that...
[10:12] Yayoi
Oh, by the way, have you lost weight, Yuzu?
[10:15] Yuzu
Huh?
[10:15] Yomogi
Yeah, totally! For a second, I thought
you were a twig sitting there!
[10:19] Yomogi
We just gotta flatter her.
Even if it's obvious. Keep flattering!
[10:22] Yayoi
Skinny things... What else is skinny?
[10:24] Yayoi
Yeah, I thought she was a loose thread!
[10:27] Yomogi
Nanofiber! So skinny I almost
didn't see you at all!
[10:31] Yuzu
Oh, no. Are they concerned about me?
[10:33] Yuzu
Are they worried
I'm not feeling well?
[10:36] Yuzu
In that case, I gotta eat!
[10:43] Yayoi
Yuzu!
[10:44] Yomogi
What's wrong?
[10:45] Yayoi
It must be guilt! The guilt of eating
high-calorie food while on diet!
[10:50] Yayoi
The guilt has turned into a poison
that's eating her instead!
[10:54] Yomogi
This can't be happening!
[10:56] Miyu
Thank you for the food.
[10:58] Mako
How was it?
[10:59] Misao
I'll admit it's good, but it's still
junk food. It wasn't enough for supper.
[11:04] Mone
One more dish would be nice.
[11:07] Saeka
I thought you would say that.
[11:09] Miyu
You mean...?
[11:10] Saeka
Of course I have something else ready.
[11:12] Saeka
A Nagoya delicacy. Hitsumabushi eel!
[11:18] Saeka
I procured the highest-quality
eel for you all to enjoy!
[11:25] Kana
I believe they're still alive, ma'am.
[11:27] Saeka
I wanted to serve you the
freshest ingredients possible.
[11:30] Mako; Hikari
Oof!
[11:32] Mako
What the...?! It's all slimy!
[11:34] Hikari
Aah!
[11:35] Hikari
Mako, it went that way!
[11:37] Mako
I just had it!
[11:38] Saeka
Hello, eels, would you mind
joining us over here?
[11:41] Hikari
They can't understand you!
[11:45] Saeka
Eels, would you kindly
stop being so slippery?
[11:50] Hikari
They can't stop being eels!
[11:52] Saeka
Please accept my apologies.
[11:54] Saeka
Let's save the eel dish for another time.
[11:57] Iroha; Kana; Chitose; Hina; Miyu; Misao; Chihori; Mone; Yuina
Yeah, let's.
[12:04] Kana
Huh?
[12:06] Chitose
Kana? Good. You came to.
[12:09] Kana
Where are we?
[12:11] Chitose
It appears we've been locked up.
[12:14] Kana
That's one heck of an escalation!
SIGN Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[12:21] Chitose
It won't work.
[12:23] Chitose
There's no way we can cover it up.
SIGN 2. Insist that a titan attacked on us.
SIGN Manager -> A titan would make international news!
SIGN 3. Oh, do those look like holes? They're for bubble tea. (^^)v lolol
SIGN Manager -> They're a little big for that!!
SIGN 1. Make him believe that "ruins" is a new design concept for the room.
SIGN Manager -> You can't do that with my room!
[12:25] Iroha
We can't talk our way
out of a disaster this big.
[12:29] Kana
There isn't even room to lay out our futons.
[12:31] Iroha
We'll have to make an honest apology.
SIGN 1. Make him believe that "ruins" is a new design concept for the room.
SIGN Manager -> You can't do that with my room!
SIGN 2. Insist that a titan attacked on us.
SIGN Manager -> A titan would make international news!
SIGN 3. Oh, do those look like holes? They're for bubble tea (^ ^)v lolol
SIGN Manager -> They're a little big for that!!
[12:33] Iroha
Seiji-san isn't a monster. He'll forgive us.
[12:37] Kana
I'm a little peckish.
[12:41] Kana
Let's see.
[12:43] Kana
Oh! Found the fridge.
[12:46] Kana
Hee-heheh-heheh.
[12:53] Chitose
Kana?
[12:54] Iroha
What happened?
[12:56] Iroha
Um...
[12:58] Iroha
Stairs?
[13:04] Chitose
Is this...
[13:06] Iroha
A weight room!
[13:09] Iroha
Look at all this stuff!
[13:15] Chitose
Hey, how do we open it?
[13:18] Iroha
Hold on a second.
SIGN This is Seiji's
S E C R E T ♥♥♥
weight room.
Trespassers will be locked up until they turn into zombies.
tee-hee♥
[13:23] Iroha
What a weird way to use hearts.
[13:27] Iroha
Where's Kana?
[13:34] Chitose
That's what happened.
[13:36] Kana
No way!
[13:37] Chitose
I mean, an underground weight room is fine,
[13:40] Chitose
but what's the point of
punishing trespassers?
[13:42] Kana
Where's Iroha-senpai?
[13:44] Chitose
Oh...
[13:47] Chitose
She gave up and started lifting.
[13:52] Iroha
Why don't you try it, Kana?
[13:53] Kana
She's so full of energy.
SIGN 1. Make him believe that "ruins" is a new design concept for the room.
SIGN Manager -> You can't do that with my room!
SIGN 2. Insist that a titan attacked on us.
SIGN Manager -> A titan would make international news!
SIGN 3. Oh, do those look like holes? They're for bubble tea (^ ^)v lolol
SIGN Manager -> They're a little big for that!!
[13:58] Yayoi
What's this all about?
[13:59] Yomogi
I don't know.
[14:00] Yayoi
By the way, I haven't seen the Bullet
Kunoichi girls since morning.
[14:04] Yayoi
Where did they go?
[14:06] Yomogi
You're right. That's weird.
[14:08] Miyu
Kansai is full of natto-haters.
[14:11] Miyu
Maybe they were cursed by the God of Natto.
[14:13] Yomogi
What happens if you're cursed
by the God of Natto?
[14:17] Miyu
What happens is...
[14:18] Miyu
When you go to wash your face in the morning,
[14:21] Miyu
natto pours out of the faucet, all stringy
and sticky, and then it never turns off!
[14:27] Yomogi
That's simply terrifying.
[14:29] Mone
It's ready.
SIGN Chopsticks
[14:31] Yuina
Hokkaido-style zangi!
[14:33] Chihori; Yuina
Come and get it!
[14:35] Mone
Come and get it.
[14:36] Yayoi
Wow! That karaage looks delicious!
[14:38] Mone
It isn't karaage. It's zangi.
[14:40] Yayoi
Huh? Isn't it fried chicken?
[14:43] Mone
It is fried chicken. That's why it's zangi.
[14:46] Yayoi
But fried chicken is called karaage.
[14:48] Mone
When you're from Hokkaido
and you fry chicken, it's zangi!
[14:52] Mone
A robot might use a "beam saber,"
[14:55] Mone
but when a knight with psychic powers
holds it, it becomes a "light saber," right?
[14:58] Mone
It's the same thing.
[15:00] Miyu
Okay. But if someone from Hokkaido fries it,
[15:02] Miyu
and someone from Ibaraki
serves it, what is it then?
[15:05] Chihori
The contradictions of its existence
would probably make it self-destruct.
[15:09] Misao
What a waste of good chicken!
[15:11] Yuina
Wh-Why are you saying it to me?
[15:16] Mako
Hey, this is super delicious!
[15:18] Saeka
Yes, it is very juicy.
[15:22] Miyu
Yummy!
[15:23] Mone
Oh, good. I was worried the
flavor would be a mess, too.
[15:28] Yomogi
Sounds like there's something behind that.
[15:31] Yuina
Actually, we don't cook
much to begin with, so...
[15:37] Yomogi
Ahh...
[15:39] Yomogi
That's trouble.
[15:40] Yuina
We're sorry.
[15:41] Yayoi
All good! All good! If we clean
up together, it'll be a snap!
[15:45] Yuina
Th-That's okay. We'll take care of it.
[15:48] Yuina
Seiji-san would freak out if he came
back and found Takako-so all messed up.
[15:53] Yuina
We should take responsibility
for what we did.
[15:56] Yuina
Right, Mone?
[15:59] Mone
Sorry. I have to go bring
an end to the Empire.
[16:02] Yuina
Don't try to run away!
[16:05] Chihori
Sorry! I have to go defeat a space monster.
[16:08] Yuina
You're trying to get out of it, too?
[16:10] Yuina
You shouldn't lie like that!
[16:12] Chihori
Huh? But it isn't a lie.
[16:16] Yomogi
Yuzu?
SIGN Sancho All-Purpose Flour
Sancho
Flour
Udon • Okonomiyaki • Tempura
[16:22] Yayoi
The bath is a problem, though.
[16:24] Yayoi
I couldn't get in yesterday
with all the eels.
[16:27] Yayoi
I really want a bath today.
[16:29] Yuina
What?
[16:33] Yuina
What the heck are you doing?
[16:34] Hina
Gathering materials.
[16:36] Hina
Miyu said, "If we can't use the bath,
we'll make a new one." See?
[16:42] Miyu
A bath made to Mito Komon Neo specs!
[16:44] Misao
But lumber's really expensive now,
so we decided to use what we had on hand.
[16:49] Yuina
You still can't tear up the floor, though!
[16:52] Hina
How many more planks?
[16:54] Yuina
I just said you can't tear up the floor!
[17:00] Miyu
I beg you!
[17:01] Miyu
I'm serious!
[17:02] Hikari
P-Please, stop begging. Get up.
[17:05] Saeka
You want us to use the
bath you made? Really?
[17:10] Miyu
Yeah! It's gotta be you guys!
[17:13] Saeka
But we were about to go capture the eels.
[17:17] Saeka
Why don't you use the bath yourself?
[17:20] Miyu
No way!
[17:21] Miyu
A Mito Komon Neo bath scene
needs to have sex appeal!
[17:25] Miyu
But I don't have any,
darn it! Zero sex appeal.
[17:27] Miyu
Look! Just look at this!
[17:30] Mako
Okay, fine. I guess I could
put some skin in that game.
[17:35] Miyu
I wasn't asking you, Mako.
[17:36] Miyu
I'm asking Saeka and Hikari.
[17:38] Mako
Why?! Just use me!
[17:40] Miyu
You aren't taking Mito Komon Neo's
bath scenes seriously!
[17:43] Miyu
You're hopelessly unsexy, and that
flat chest wouldn't do the job!
[17:47] Mako
Grr! How can you tell
me I'm hopelessly unsexy!
[17:53] Yomogi
Yuzu was totally staring at that
bag of flour in the kitchen.
[17:57] Yomogi
I think I figured out what's bothering her.
[18:00] Yayoi
The flour... is it about Konamons?
[18:03] Yomogi
Yup.
[18:04] Yomogi
Your uncle runs an okonomiyaki restaurant.
My family makes takoyaki.
[18:08] Yomogi
That's why we named our duo
Konamons, or "Flour People."
[18:10] Yomogi
But Yuzu isn't associated with
any kind of powdery substance.
[18:12] Yomogi
Is she trying to acquire a powder of her own?
[18:16] Yomogi
But a powder that isn't for
okonomiyaki or takoyaki...
[18:19] Yayoi; Yomogi
That dangerous white powder!
[18:21] Yayoi
Oh, no! That stuff will get her arrested!
[18:24] Yomogi
But it's the only possible explanation.
[18:26] Yomogi
The flour bag in the kitchen must
actually have the bad stuff in it!
SIGN Sancho All-Purpose Flour
Sancho
Flour
Udon • Okonomiyaki • Tempura
[18:30] Yomogi
She's hiding it in there!
[18:32] Yayoi
Then the reason the Bullet
Kunoichi girls disappeared
SIGN Ahahahaha!
[18:36] Yayoi
is because they figured out Yuzu's secret?
[18:40] Yomogi
Yuzu, what have you done?
[18:44] Yayoi
Still, even if she bears that guilt,
I want to stand by Yuzu!
[18:50] Yomogi
That's right. We're the
only allies Yuzu has!
[18:56] Yomogi
Who's there?
[18:57] Chihori
That's so moving!
[18:59] Yayoi; Yomogi
Chihori-chan?!
[19:03] Chitose
Nobody's come to rescue us.
[19:05] Chitose
Are we gonna be stuck here
until Seiji-san gets back?
[19:08] Kana
I'm sick of protein drinks.
[19:11] Kana
Why are protein drinks the only food here?
[19:13] Iroha
There's some protein cookies, too.
[19:16] Kana
I hate those. They're way too dry.
[19:18] Iroha
You'll never build any muscle
if you're that picky.
[19:21] Kana
But I don't want muscle.
[19:23] Kana
Ah... ugh!
[19:27] Chitose
Kana?
[19:30] Chitose
Kana!
[19:31] Iroha
Oh, no! You can't down a
protein cookie in one bite!
[19:34] Chitose
She needs water! Water!
SIGN This is Seiji's
S E C R E T ♥♥♥
weight room.
Trespassers will be locked up until
they turn into zombies.
tee-hee♥
[19:36] Iroha
We don't have any!
[19:38] Hikari; Mako
We're done!
[19:41] Saeka
That was exhausting.
[19:42] Hikari
But now we should be able to
make hitsumabushi tomorrow.
[19:46] Miyu
Just a little more!
[19:47] Hina
I'm so exhausted.
[19:50] Yuzu
It got better!
[19:51] Yuzu
Oh, good. I guess that vitamin drink helped.
[19:55] Chitose
Kana! We can't let you die here!
[19:58] Iroha
Cough it up! Kana!
[20:00] Chihori
Here, use this.
[20:02] Yayoi
What is it?
[20:03] Chihori
A pistol-style multipurpose weapon
of mass destruction. The RX-EVA-999.
[20:07] Yomogi
Those exist in this setting?
[20:09] Yayoi
Oh, cool. You'll let us use it?
[20:12] Chihori
If you're going to fight for
your friend, you need power, right?
[20:15] Chihori
Use it however you like.
[20:17] Yayoi
Okay, but how does it work?
[20:21] Yuzu
Yayoi! Yomogi!
[20:23] Yayoi
Yuzu?!
[20:23] Yuzu
Sorry if I made you worry.
[20:25] Yuzu
The truth is, in my mouth...
[20:27] Yayoi
Ah! A spider!
[20:31] Miyu
Perfect!
[20:34] Yuina
We're finally done!
[20:46] Seiji
I wonder if they're doing all right.
[20:53] Seiji
Wha—!
[20:55] Seiji
This can't...
[21:00] Yayoi
Oh, Seiji-san!
[21:02] Yuina
Welcome home!
[21:05] Seiji
What the hell happened?!
[21:10] Iroha
So you didn't get any better at cleaning.
[21:13] Kana
It'll never happen. My head was in the clouds.
[21:16] Kana
I a-spidered to a web-el beyond my reach.
[21:19] Chitose
Trying to be a wise guy, huh?
[21:21] Chitose
Let's wrap it up.
[21:23] Iroha; Kana; Chitose
Thank you!
[21:26] Iroha
Will it ever end?
[21:27] Miyu
My cypress bath...
[21:28] Misao
I can't take this any more.
[21:29] Hina
I'm exhausted.
[21:30] Mone
There's no way we can do this by ourselves!
[21:33] Seiji
All right, quit moving your lips
and start using your hands!
[21:36] Yayoi
What was that ray gun for, anyway?
[21:39] Chihori
Well, it turns out the space
monster alert was a false alarm.
[21:43] Yayoi
Oh. I don't get it, but I guess that's good.
[21:51] Kana
Sp-sp-sp-sp-sp-sp...
[21:52] Kana
Spiderspiderspiderspiderspiderspider...
[21:54] Kana
Spider!
[22:00] Yayoi
Seiji-san, are you okay?
[22:02] Miyu
What a mess.
[22:05] [SONG] Lead
Go! We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
[22:09] [SONG] back
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
[22:16] [SONG] lead
Hi! Hi! Hello! Let's get
on with the show today.
[22:19] [SONG] lead
We've just got four minutes, but we
hope you hear everything that we say.
[22:22] [SONG] back
Hey there cutie, hey there cutie,
didn't even miss a beat there, cutie.
[22:24] [SONG] lead
We hope you enjoy the show today.
[22:27] [SONG] lead
Here at home with you, in your living room,
we'll put a twinkle into your eyes.
[22:33] [SONG] lead
We've all dreamed to see if we could be
on a stage so free. Now it's a reality!
[22:42] [SONG] lead
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
[22:45] [SONG] lead
It's all good when we're laughing together.
[22:48] [SONG] lead
If we bomb, slip, even if we cry,
so what! That's still part of our destiny.
[22:53] [SONG] lead
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
[22:56] [SONG] lead
We'll hit it big if we
keep laughing together.
[22:59] [SONG] lead
We never knew that life
could ever be like this,
[23:02] [SONG] lead
and now that we're going, you know
there's no way we'll ever stop!
[23:05] [SONG] lead
We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
[23:09] [SONG] back
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
[23:10] [SONG] lead
All of our searching, all of our
training is fading out into the past.
[23:16] [SONG] lead
But to us now, those memories
will always be so precious.
[23:22] [SONG] lead
All of the tears, all of the pain,
rewriting life with our own words.
[23:27] [SONG] lead
We want to laugh it all away with you,
right up to the end. And that's a wrap!
SIGN The Mail-Order Chapter
E7 - The Mail-Order Chapter
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Miyu
Hi, everyone! We're Akudare Kingdom!
[00:04] Miyu
Love saves Ibaraki!
[00:05] Misao
You're aiming too low!
[00:07] Misao
Love should save the whole planet!
[00:09] Miyu
Hey, hey, Ibaraki is practically
synonymous with onsen, right?
[00:12] Hina
Ibaraki isn't known for onsen at all.
[00:15] Hina
Ibaraki is only famous
for natto and hoodlums.
[00:17] Misao
Hoodlums aren't a local specialty!
[00:19] Misao
Ibaraki might not have a reputation for it,
[00:22] Misao
but Oarai has tons of nice onsen.
[00:25] Hina
But don't you think onsen
are kind of creepy?
[00:28] Misao
No way! Not at all.
[00:30] Misao
It's always fun and games at the onsen.
[00:34] [SONG] all
Yeah!
[00:34] [SONG] Yomogi
So, what's comedy?
[00:35] [SONG] Yayoi
Yo!
[00:36] [SONG] Yuzu
Tough question, for me
[00:37] [SONG] Yayoi
What could it be?
It's too far out to see!
[00:38] [SONG] Yuzu & Yomogi
Be! See!
[00:39] [SONG] Yomogi
Boke and tsukkomi, in the zone
[00:39] [SONG] Yayoi
Ye ye, in the zone!
[00:41] [SONG] Yuzu
We got god-tier jokes on the horizon
[00:41] [SONG] Yayoi & Yomogi
God! Horizon!
[00:43] [SONG] Kana
Wanna see us split into bunshin
[00:43] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Yeah!
[00:44] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Bullets!
[00:44] [SONG] Kana
And hear gags flying at you like bullets?
[00:46] [SONG] Kana
Leave it to comedy ninjas!
[00:47] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Nin-nin!
[00:47] [SONG] Saeka
High society, celebrity
[00:47] [SONG] Hikari & Mako
High! Celebrity!
[00:49] [SONG] Saeka
The cleanest jokes are our priority
[00:50] [SONG] Hikari & Mako
Priority!
[00:52] [SONG] Miyu
Yeah, Akudare, making you all laugh
[00:52] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Yeah!
[00:53] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Ah! Ah!
[00:54] [SONG] Miyu
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back
[00:54] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back!
[00:56] [SONG] Yuina
We. Are. The. Invaders. Yo.
[00:57] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
Ah Invaders
[00:58] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
That should tell you all you need to know
[00:59] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
Need to know!
[01:00] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Yeah!
[01:00] [SONG] Yuzu
Shake it up, Wai-Wai!
[01:00] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Wai-Wai!
[01:01] [SONG] Yomogi
Heat up the timeline!
[01:01] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Timeline!
[01:02] [SONG] Yayoi
Scramble for the win,
we won't give up our pride
[01:04] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Pride!
[01:05] [SONG] Yomogi
Found a new line
[01:05] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Oh!
[01:05] [SONG] Yuzu
Gonna sweep the prime time
[01:07] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Oh!
[01:07] [SONG] Yayoi
Who's on top then?
[01:08] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Gotta take the Teppen!
[01:08] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina
Take it to the top
[01:10] [SONG] all call
Doin' it for real!
[01:11] [SONG] Kana; Saeka
We'll show you, giving everything
we got, oh yeah
[01:12] [SONG] all call
Oh yeah
[01:13] [SONG] Miyu; Yuina
Gonna face the challenge head-on
[01:13] [SONG] all call
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
[01:15] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina
Running straight ahead
[01:15] [SONG] all call
Yo! Yo! Yo!
[01:17] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai
Take it to the top
[01:17] [SONG] all call
Yeah that's right!
[01:19] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai
It's show
[01:20] [SONG] Yomogi
Don't slow down to hear them
call you funny, not a day
[01:22] [SONG] Yuzu
You'll never reach the top that way
[01:22] [SONG] all call
Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh yeah!
[01:24] [SONG] Yayoi
You know it's true, what we say
[01:26] [SONG] all call
Hey!
[01:27] [SONG] all sing
But this isn't about us just getting a laugh
[01:30] [SONG] all call
Yeah! Yeah!
[01:33] [SONG] all sing
That's not why we're here
It's much bigger, bigger than all that
[01:36] [SONG] all call
All that
[01:37] [SONG] all sing
We want to get
[01:37] [SONG] all call
We want to get, yeah!
[01:40] [SONG] all sing
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
[01:40] [SONG] all call
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
[01:45] [SONG] all sing
Yeah if we are the ones
that are making you laugh
[01:45] [SONG] all call
Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye!
[01:50] [SONG] all sing
We gotta go so hard it'll really,
really give us that, you know?
[01:54] [SONG] all sing
Top of the laugh
[01:54] [SONG] all call
Top of the laugh Ye~ah!
[01:57] [SONG] all sing
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way.
We're gonna make it to the top one day!
[01:57] [SONG] all call
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way,
oh! We're gonna make it to the top one day!
[02:02] [SONG] Yayoi
Aw yeah!
[02:04] Seiji
I can tell you've all been
slacking off recently.
SIGN The Mail-Order Chapter
[02:07] Seiji
Did you forget you're still in the middle
of the qualifier for the Teppen Grand Prix?
[02:11] Seiji
We can't have that!
[02:13] Seiji
You need to aim for the top, so I'll help
you get your minds and bodies back in shape.
[02:18] Seiji
While I'm repairing Takako-so,
you're going to a mandatory training camp.
[02:22] Seiji
I've got the perfect place for you.
[02:24] Seiji
It's an old inn owned by the Teppen Grand
Prix Committee that isn't being used now.
[02:29] Seiji
And it's called...
[02:33] Miyu
Is this it?
SIGN Do'em Inn
[02:36] Barbra
Took you long enough.
[02:38] Barbra
Welcome to Do'em Inn.
[02:43] Chitose
"Do'em Inn"? After "Takako-so"?
[02:46] Chitose
What's with all the bad jokes?
[02:48] Barbra
You must never lose your sense of humor.
[02:51] Barbra
That is the policy of the
Teppen Grand Prix Committee.
[02:54] Yayoi
Are you a committee member too, Granny?
[02:57] Barbra
That's right. I'm Hotei Barbra.
[02:59] Barbra
Just call me Barbra.
[03:01] Yomogi
What an unusual name.
[03:02] Barbra
I used to work in a hair salon.
[03:05] Chitose
Your name is Barbera?!
[03:06] Barbra
We're very proud of our outdoor bath here.
[03:09] Barbra
We're far from the hustle and bustle of
the city, so please relax and enjoy.
SIGN Bean Room
[03:18] Takada
Yeah!
SIGN You Gotta Buy It
[03:18] Takada
Once again, we're bringing you unusual
products you won't find anywhere else!
[03:23] Hina
What's wrong, Misao?
[03:25] Misao
It feels like someone's watching me.
[03:27] Misao
It's like a cold draft or a chill up the spine.
[03:31] Misao
I mean, isn't this inn
just a little too creepy?
[03:34] Misao
It might even be haunted!
SIGN Shriek
[03:37] Hina
Misao, I didn't know you
were such a chicken.
[03:39] Misao
Huh? The heck I am!
SIGN Mirin
SIGN Salt
[03:42] Misao
I'll take out all the ghosts
with salt and mirin!
[03:45] Misao
I ain't scared at all! Why would
I be scared of anything?!
[03:46] Hina
Huh. So Misao's a chicken?
[03:49] Hina
That's unexpected.
[03:50] Hina
Right, Miyu?
[03:53] Hina
Miyu?
[03:54] Miyu
Har har! Hilarious!
[03:56] Miyu
This is the funniest manga I've ever read!
[03:59] Hina
I didn't expect that either.
[04:00] Hina
I thought you were only interested
in Mito Komon Neo, Miyu.
[04:03] Miyu
That ain't true!
[04:04] Miyu
But this one's a classic!
[04:06] Miyu
It's an official spinoff of Mito Komon Neo.
SIGN m 142 57 l 175 50 189 137 172 152 157 145
SIGN Ooo-
ooh!
SIGN m 462 196 l 510 185 535 321 500 337 485 323
SIGN Ko-
mon
Kick!
SIGN Pow
[04:09] Miyu
Detective Komon!
[04:11] Hina
Detective... Komon?
[04:13] Miyu
Yeah. Komon-sama got run over
by a cow and croaked,
[04:16] Miyu
but was reincarnated in the modern day,
[04:18] Miyu
and now goes after evil magistrate
types and totally beats them up!
[04:20] Hina
And you think that's funny?
[04:25] Misao
A piano?
[04:26] Miyu
Oh, yeah. It sure sounds pretty.
[04:30] Hina
But isn't that... a little weird?
[04:34] Yayoi
Wow!
[04:36] Yayoi
Looks delicious!
[04:37] Barbra
How are you liking the inn?
[04:39] Barbra
Are you enjoying yourselves?
[04:40] Kana
Definitely! The scenery is great,
[04:42] Kana
there's an outdoor bath,
and the food looks delicious!
[04:45] Kana
We've got no complaints!
[04:46] Hikari
The piano performance was nice, too.
[04:48] Chitose
The song really added to the mood.
[04:52] Barbra
Piano?
[04:54] Yuzu
What's wrong, Barbra-san?
[04:56] Barbra
I-It's nothing.
[04:59] Barbra
Sorry about this. I'll clean it up.
[05:04] Yuzu
I wonder what's wrong.
[05:06] Yayoi
Is she pianophobic?
[05:07] Misao
I told you, something's not right.
[05:11] Yayoi
Aah!
[05:12] Yomogi
What is it this time?
[05:14] Kana
The piano. It's a piano recital in the dark!
[05:17] Mone
Or is it space? Are we adrift
in the vastness of space?
[05:21] Miyu
I bet we were swallowed up by a monkfish!
[05:24] Yayoi
Oh! Sashimi tastes so good in the dark.
[05:26] Chitose
You're all too random!
[05:30] Iroha
Oh. It's back on.
[05:32] Misao
But what happened?
[05:34] Yuina
What's that?
[05:41] Miyu
Um...
[05:43] Miyu
"If you crack a smile with all
your crooked, blackened teeth,
[05:45] Miyu
your legs will point into the air,
and you'll fall fast asleep."
[05:48] Mako
What does it mean?
SIGN Pon poro poro rin pon poro ri... dance around... If you crack a smile with all those crooked, blackened teeth, your legs will point into the air, and you'll fall fast... Hey yo! Into the sky you blow a kiss, worry 'bout all the things you miss. Your head is pushing its limits, hard-working like the field crickets. Gotta work, improve your role. You can't just try to run away. Over there, you see that hole? You'll fall in if you go that way. What, don't you see? Modern life is too crazy. Written all bloody, a curse in calligraphy. Ronin ronin ronin ronin. Breaking all your heart. Fly away, pigeon... Ronin ronin ronin ronin. Don't become a heart attack, catch ball on next pass. Yeah!
[05:49] Hikari
No clue.
[05:55] Kana
Take this!
[05:56] Kana
Super Remembering-the-Naniwa-Tiger-Striped-Lady
-Who-Gave-Me-Candy Genocide Pancetta Smash!
[06:01] Iroha
Yes!
[06:02] Chitose
At least hit it after that!
SIGN This Beer
[06:03] Saeka
Oh? Where's Mako?
[06:05] Mone
She's taking a bath.
[06:07] Hikari
Huh? We said we'd go together. Aw...
SIGN This Beer
[06:10] Miyu
I've re-ad it o-ver and o-ver
and it st-ill makes no-o sense.
[06:13] Yayoi
Wh-o put it th-ere a-nyway? We were
the on-ly ones in the ro-om, r-ight?
[06:18] Yomogi
Yeah, but I do-ubt anyone co-uld
navig-ate through darkness like th-at.
[06:22] Barbra
It's the curse.
[06:24] Misao
Curse?!
[06:25] Barbra
You all heard the piano, right?
[06:28] Barbra
But that should have been
impossible to hear.
[06:32] Barbra
The piano in that cottage has
been locked up for years.
[06:37] Hina
There was a lock on the door.
[06:39] Yuina
Then where did the sound come from?
[06:41] Barbra
The horrors have begun! Nobody will
be able to stop them now!
[06:45] Yuzu
Horrors?
[06:48] Chihori
What?
[06:51] Yayoi
What's wrong?
[06:53] Hikari
Mako is...
SIGN Living Room
[07:01] Saeka
Mako...
[07:02] Hikari
She overheated in the bath.
She must've gotten really dizzy.
[07:05] Saeka
Why did she have to die like this?
[07:07] Hikari
She ain't dead.
[07:10] Yuzu
No good. No signal.
[07:11] Yuina
Same here.
[07:13] Kana
Chitose-senpai. Iroha-senpai.
[07:15] Chitose
This isn't looking good.
[07:17] Iroha
I went and checked the only way out of here,
SIGN Wet Paint
[07:20] Iroha
but the bridge is wet with paint. Hot pink.
[07:22] Chitose
If we try to walk on it,
our shoes will turn hot pink.
[07:25] Chitose
That's a death sentence!
[07:27] Kana
Our phones have no signal.
If we leave, we die.
[07:30] Kana
That means...
[07:31] Misao
...that we're trapped here?
[07:32] Barbra
It's exactly what the lullaby says.
[07:35] Barbra
The curse is the only possible explanation.
[07:38] Yayoi
Barbra-san, what is that curse about anyway?
[07:42] Barbra
Long ago, before this place
was called Do'em Inn,
[07:47] Barbra
a wealthy family used to live here.
[07:50] Barbra
They had one son, and he
loved playing the piano.
[07:54] Barbra
He wanted to become a musician,
but that dream didn't come true.
[08:00] Barbra
In order to make him take
over the family business,
[08:03] Barbra
his father forced him to quit piano.
[08:07] Barbra
With no hope for the future,
the son took his own life.
[08:12] Barbra
He left behind a lullaby,
written in despair,
[08:17] Barbra
that has been passed down
through the generations.
[08:20] Yuzu
What kind of song is it?
[08:22] Barbra
It's faster if you just hear it.
[08:26] Yomogi
Pon poro poro rin pon poro rin
[08:31] Yomogi
Make your fingers dance around,
and see what it might mean
[08:37] Yomogi
If you crack a smile with all
your crooked, blackened teeth
[08:43] Yomogi
Your legs will point into the
air, and you'll fall fast asleep
[08:50] Yomogi
Hey! Yo!
[08:52] Yomogi
Into the sky you blow a kiss
[08:53] Yomogi
Worry 'bout all the things you miss
[08:54] Yomogi
Your head is pushing its limits
[08:56] Yomogi
Hard-working like the field crickets
[08:57] Barbra
Gotta work, improve your role
[08:58] Barbra
You can't just try to run away
[09:00] Barbra
Over there, you see that hole?
[09:01] Barbra
You'll fall in if you go that way.
[09:03] Yomogi
What, don't you see?
[09:04] Yomogi
Modern life is too crazy
[09:05] Yomogi
Written all bloody
[09:07] Yomogi
A curse in calligraphy
[09:08] Yomogi & Barbra
Ronin ronin ronin ronin
[09:11] Yomogi & Barbra
Breaking all your heart
[09:13] Yomogi & Barbra
Fly away, pigeon coo-coo
[09:14] Yomogi & Barbra
Ronin ronin ronin ronin
[09:17] Yomogi & Barbra
Don't become a heart attack
[09:19] Yomogi & Barbra
Catch ball on next pass
[09:20] Yomogi & Barbra
Yeah!
[09:21] Barbra
This is the lullaby that's been
passed down for 50 years.
[09:24] Chitose
There's no way that's 50 years old!
[09:27] Barbra
There is a saying at the inn that's
been passed down with the song.
[09:31] Barbra
"Someday, the tortured soul of the
piano will return with its lullaby,
[09:37] Barbra
and that melody will lead to a curse."
[09:41] Yuina
Just like the lyrics said, Mako-chan's legs
were pointing into the air.
[09:46] Chihori
Yeah. And she fell asleep.
[09:48] Kana
Wait a minute.
[09:49] Kana
Does that mean what happened to
Mako is gonna keep happening?
[09:52] Misao
What the heck? I can't believe
we've actually been cursed!
[09:56] Barbra
If this is the lullaby's curse, then there
is only one way to break it.
[10:01] Yomogi
There's a way to break it?
[10:03] Yuzu
Please tell us, Barbra-san!
[10:04] Yuzu
What do we have to do?
[10:07] Barbra
Laugh.
[10:08] Barbra
It is said that if you can fill the inn
with laughter, the curse will be lifted.
[10:14] Chitose
The heck is that? What does
laughing have to do with a curse?
[10:17] Kana
Maybe he wants to laugh because
he was so sad when he died.
[10:20] Chitose
That's kind of a stretch.
[10:22] Yayoi
But laughter is our specialty!
[10:25] Yayoi
And there's no other way,
so let's give it a shot!
[10:28] Barbra
I'll gather all the employees.
[10:31] Barbra
They'll be your audience. Send them
rolling on the floor with laughter!
[10:34] Yomogi
Let's do our thing!
[10:38] Yomogi
Hello!
[10:45] Barbra
That's not good. They've frozen up.
[10:47] Chitose
Of course they have! What kind
of audience is that?!
[10:49] Barbra
The son who killed himself
had very pale skin.
[10:52] Barbra
To break the curse,
[10:54] Barbra
you have to make the audience laugh while
they're all wearing white beauty masks.
[10:57] Yuina
Why are there so many conditions?
[11:00] Misao
There's no way we'll break the curse.
[11:02] Miyu
There's no curse! The culprit
is here somewhere!
SIGN Suke
SIGN Kaku
[11:05] Kana
Miyu-chan, why are you dressed like that?
[11:07] Miyu
I ain't Miyu. Call me
Great Detective Komon!
[11:10] Hina
You're so easily influenced.
[11:12] Miyu
Shaddap!
[11:13] Miyu
If we show our love for Komon-sama,
[11:15] Miyu
maybe someday Akudare Kingdom will be
invited on Mito Komon Neo as guest stars!
[11:19] Chitose
Oh, get real.
SIGN Sigh
[11:21] Miyu
Anyway! I'll totally prove to
you that there's no curse!
SIGN Suke
SIGN Kaku
[11:25] Miyu
I'll solve the mystery!
[11:27] Miyu
In the name of Komon-sama!
SIGN Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SIGN Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[11:36] Misao
What are you looking for?
[11:38] Miyu
Evidence, obviously.
[11:40] Hina
Did you find something?
[11:41] Miyu
I found 100 yen!
[11:42] Hina
So what?
[11:44] Miyu
What else? What else?
[11:46] Misao
There's no culprit. It's gotta be the curse.
[11:52] Misao
Someone's watching again!
[11:53] Miyu
There ain't no curse.
[11:56] Misao
What is it this time?
[11:58] Chitose
What happened?
[11:59] Saeka
I wanted to get Mako some water,
but when I went outside...
[12:06] Yuina
Mone?!
[12:07] Yomogi
Hey yo! Into the sky you blow a kiss,
worry 'bout all the things you miss.
[12:11] Yomogi
Your head is pushing its limits,
hard-working like the field crickets.
[12:14] Kana
Just like the lullaby said!
[12:17] Kana
Again?
[12:20] Hikari
When I went to get Mako a snack...
[12:25] Kana
Iroha-senpai!
[12:26] Chitose
Why is she stuck like that?
[12:27] Barbra
Gotta work, improve your role,
you can't just try to run away.
[12:30] Barbra
Over there, you see that hole?
You'll fall in if you go that way.
[12:33] Yuzu
Is that the hole?
[12:35] Yuina
Look over there.
SIGN Curse
[12:37] Yomogi
What, don't you see?
Modern life is too crazy.
SIGN Curse
[12:40] Yomogi
Written all bloody, a curse in calligraphy.
[12:43] Yomogi
How could anyone get over
there to write that?
SIGN Living Room
[12:46] Misao
Yeah, it's gotta be the curse.
[12:48] Miyu
But there's no way it's real!
So stop saying "curse"!
[12:52] Hina
Misao, why are you so scared of everything?
[12:56] Misao
There's a reason for it.
[12:58] Misao
It started a year ago.
[13:03] Misao
Back then, I always felt like
someone was watching me.
[13:07] Misao
Whatever I was doing...
[13:10] Misao
Whatever was happening...
[13:14] Misao
I always felt someone watching.
It was super creepy.
[13:18] Misao
And then one day it happened.
SIGN Ushiku
[13:22] Misao
Something uncanny and terrifying...
[13:27] (Flashback) Misao
Dried sweet potatoes!
[13:30] Hina
That story...
[13:31] Misao
Can you imagine how I felt?
[13:33] Misao
The horror of finding my shoe locker
stuffed full of dried sweet potatoes?
[13:37] Misao
Now that I think about it,
maybe that was a curse, too!
[13:40] Misao
Ever since then, I've been a mess.
[13:43] Misao
Ghosts and curses and the supernatural...
I believe in them all.
[13:47] Misao
I'm scared out of my wits!
[13:49] Miyu
Misao!
[13:50] Miyu
How many times do I have to tell you?
[13:52] Miyu
There ain't no curse!
[13:53] Miyu
I'll find the culprit and prove it to you.
[13:56] Miyu
Then you won't get so freaked
out about all this malarkey.
[13:59] Misao
Miyu, you'd really do that for me?
[14:02] Miyu
You and Hina are my Suke-san and Kaku-san.
[14:04] Miyu
You're supposed to fight for your Komon,
but you can't do that if you're always scared.
[14:09] Miyu
So I'll fix whatever is bothering you.
[14:12] Miyu
I'll protect you from fear, just as
you protect me in battle!
[14:15] Miyu
Because I know that's what
Komon-sama would do!
[14:18] Misao
Miyu—
[14:20] Miyu
Misao!
[14:21] Hina
Wh-What happened now?
[14:23] Miyu
It must be a trick door.
[14:27] Misao
Is this a hidden room?
[14:30] Hina
Look. Misao?
[14:32] Misao
How...?
[14:35] Miyu
What's this?
[14:38] Miyu
So that's what's going on here.
[14:40] Miyu
This mystery is solved!
[14:42] Chitose
So...
[14:43] Chitose
Why'd you bring us all here?
[14:46] Yayoi
Did you find something out?
[14:48] Miyu
Yeah, I figured it all out.
[14:50] Miyu
I'll explain it all to you—
[14:52] Miyu
the truth behind the curse!
[14:54] Kana
There is no truth! It's just a curse!
[14:57] Miyu
No, it ain't.
[14:58] Miyu
Everything so far has just been
set up to look like a curse.
[15:02] Miyu
All done by a certain individual.
[15:04] Hikari
A certain individual, meaning...?
[15:06] Yomogi
You're over-dramatizing it!
[15:07] Miyu
That individual is here with us.
[15:09] Yayoi
But isn't it strange that we heard a
piano playing from the locked cottage?
[15:14] Yayoi
And then that the envelope appeared?
[15:16] Yayoi
That shouldn't be possible.
[15:18] Miyu
No, it's all possible. First,
take a look at this.
[15:23] Takada
Once again, we're bringing you unusual
products you won't find anywhere else!
SIGN You Gotta Buy It
[15:28] Miyu
That's Get-It-All Takada, a local
mail-order shopping program.
[15:32] Miyu
They sell rare items that have
extremely specific uses.
[15:34] Miyu
It sounds like the show has a
ton of really serious fans.
[15:38] Chitose
What does that show have to do with this?
[15:40] Takada
Yeah! Let's introduce
today's special product!
[15:43] Takada
Here it is!
SIGN Takada
SIGN First 100 Customers
SIGN Order Number
SIGN Takaeda Piano-Playing Pole
SIGN Takaeda Piano-Playing Pole
SIGN Takaeda Piano-Playing Pole
SIGN Takaeda Piano-Playing Pole
SIGN Takaeda Piano-Playing Pole
SIGN Takaeda Piano-Playing Pole
[15:44] Takada
The Takaeda Piano-Playing Pole!
[15:46] Takada
For when you want to play piano,
but you can't get off the ceiling.
[15:49] Takada
We all know what that's like, right?
[15:50] Chitose
Nobody's ever been in that situation!
[15:52] Takada
This is the perfect tool for the job!
[15:55] Takada
When you have the Takaeda Piano-Playing Pole,
look at what you can do!
[15:58] Miyu
The cottage door was definitely locked,
but none of us checked the roof.
[16:04] Miyu
There's probably a small
window or something.
[16:06] Miyu
The culprit must've been
playing the piano through that,
[16:09] Miyu
using this Takaeda Piano-Playing Pole!
[16:12] Yuzu
Then what about the letter?
[16:13] Miyu
For that, they used this.
[16:15] Takada
Yeah! Our next product is this!
SIGN You Gotta Buy It
[16:17] Takada
Sometimes, when you're eating,
[16:19] Takada
you want to make an envelope appear
out of nowhere, don't you?
[16:22] Chitose
That never, ever happens!
[16:23] Takada
This is what you need!
An Envelope-Appearing Table!
SIGN Takada
SIGN First 100 Customers
SIGN Order Number
SIGN Envelope-Appearing Table
SIGN Envelope-Appearing Table
SIGN Envelope-Appearing Table
SIGN Envelope-Appearing Table
SIGN Envelope-Appearing Table
SIGN Envelope-Appearing Table
SIGN Envelope-Appearing Table
SIGN Envelope-Appearing Table
[16:26] Takada
Just push the button on the remote. Oh, yeah!
[16:29] Miyu
Someone could have used this to make
the envelope appear, even in the dark.
[16:33] Miyu
Last is the "curse" calligraphy on the rock.
SIGN Curse
[16:36] Miyu
A normal person would never
be able to get over there.
[16:39] Miyu
But there's a pond around the rock.
[16:41] Takada
And our last product is this! A flyboard!
SIGN Flyboard
[16:44] Miyu
The culprit hovered to the rock
with this to write the message.
SIGN Flyboard
[16:48] Chitose
That's one physically active criminal.
[16:50] Miyu
Those devices were kept here
in the inn's hidden room.
[16:53] Miyu
The culprit would have known
where that was. So...
[16:57] Miyu
It had to be you! Barbra!
[17:04] Barbra
You saw right through me.
[17:06] Yomogi
Are you really the culprit, Barbra-san?
[17:08] Hikari
Why would you do this?
[17:10] Barbra
Seiji asked me to.
[17:12] Barbra
He wanted me to put you through a test that
would make you take comedy seriously.
[17:17] Barbra
That's why I made up the curse and set up
a performance where you could break it.
[17:21] Chihori
The audience in white masks, too?
[17:24] Yuina
You did it to scare us and
push us to our limits.
[17:27] Kana
Were the curse and the lullaby
and everything all lies?
[17:30] Barbra
Yes, I did make up the curse.
[17:33] Barbra
But the lullaby is a real thing.
[17:36] Yuzu
What do you mean?
[17:38] Barbra
Fifty years ago, I lived
next door to the inn.
[17:42] Barbra
The inn owner's son, Toichiro
was my first love.
[17:47] Yuzu
The son who committed suicide?
[17:50] Barbra
He didn't really commit suicide.
I made up that part.
[17:55] Barbra
The story about him wanting to
become a musician was also a lie.
[17:58] Barbra
Toichiro's dream was to become
a piano-playing comedian!
[18:01] Barbra
His parents objected, so he ran away,
leaving behind that lullaby.
[18:06] Barbra
Nobody knows where he is now.
[18:07] Barbra
The song just seemed like the
perfect choice for your test.
[18:11] Barbra
Toichiro once aspired to be a comedian too.
SIGN Piano Comedy
[18:14] Barbra
He was so much like all of you right now.
[18:18] Barbra
I thought it would be nice gesture
to use that song in his memory.
[18:20] Saeka
Please wait a minute!
[18:22] Saeka
Does that mean you attacked
Mako and the others as a test?
[18:25] Barbra
I had nothing to do with that.
[18:27] Saeka
Huh? What are you saying?
[18:29] Barbra
I did try to scare you, but I had
no intention of harming you.
[18:33] Barbra
Attacking strangers would be a bit too
much for an old mail-order fan like me.
[18:38] Saeka
Then who...?
[18:40] Misao
Someone's watching! Who's there?!
[18:43] Misao
I won't let you get away this time!
[18:45] Misao
Take this! A famous Mito natto bomb!
[18:48] Takada
Argh, aaah, blegh, ew!
[18:51] Misao
It's you!
[18:52] Takada
Ugh, it's so sticky and slimy!
[18:54] Misao
It's the guy from the shopping program!
[18:57] Hikari
Mako! Are you feeling better?
[18:59] Mako
It's him! It was his fault!
[19:07] (Flashback) Takada
Ouch! Something bit me.
[19:15] (Flashback) Mone
Hm?
[19:16] (Flashback) Mone
Huh?
[19:19] (Flashback) Mone
Ah! Okay...
[19:26] (Flashback) Iroha
Who's there?
[19:27] Takada
Oof! Oof!
[19:28] (Flashback) Iroha
Oh, shoot!
[19:33] Yuina
You were creeping around
the inn to peep at Misao-chan?
SIGN Slurp
SIGN Slurp
[19:37] Misao
We'll make you talk. Why were you doing it?
[19:39] Takada
Well...
[19:41] Takada
I caught a glimpse of you
when you got off the train.
[19:44] Miyu
Why are you so infatuated with Misao?
[19:47] Takada
She looks just like her.
Like my first love, Kikuyo-san.
[19:51] Takada
I couldn't help but follow you.
[19:53] Takada
When you arrived here, it felt like fate.
[19:57] Takada
What a coincidence that you
would come to my old home!
[20:00] Yomogi
Wh-What did you just say?
[20:02] Yomogi
This inn is your old home?
[20:04] Takada
Yes. My parents wouldn't
let me chase my dreams,
[20:08] Takada
so I ran away and didn't
come back for 50 years.
[20:11] Takada
I couldn't build up the courage to
come inside, so I kept watching from afar.
[20:16] Yuzu
So that piano was yours?
[20:18] Miyu
And your first love was...?!
[20:19] Barbra
Toichiro-san, is that you?
[20:23] Takada
I don't believe it!
[20:26] Takada
Kikuyo-san?
[20:28] Young Barbra
Do you really remember me?
[20:31] Young Takada
How could I forget my one true love?
[20:34] Young Barbra
Koichiro-san!
[20:35] Young Takada
Kikuyo-san!
[20:43] Miyu
See? I told you there was no curse.
[20:45] Misao
This time, at least.
[20:46] Misao
But what about those dried sweet potatoes?
[20:49] Hina
We solved that one, too.
[20:51] Misao
Huh?
[20:52] Hina
Misao used to be really popular
with the girls at school.
[20:55] Hina
Some of them even called her a prince.
[20:58] Hina
But she's a little intimidating
and hard to talk to,
[21:00] Hina
so everyone admired her from a distance.
[21:04] Hina
In the halls, in the gym, in the cafeteria.
[21:07] Misao
That's why I felt like I was being watched!
[21:09] Hina
Since we were friends, the other girls
asked me what kind of food you liked.
[21:14] Hina
I told them you liked dried sweet potatoes.
[21:16] Miyu
They asked me about you, too.
[21:17] Miyu
They said, "I bought Misao a present,
but I'm not brave enough to give it to her."
[21:21] Miyu
So I told 'em what to do! I said to
just stuff it in your shoe locker.
[21:25] Misao
It was all your fault? Oh, jeez...
[21:28] All three
Thank you very much!
[21:33] Kana
That turned out pretty fun,
in a thrilling kind of way!
[21:36] Chitose
Yeah.
[21:37] Misao
And there was no real curse,
so case closed, I guess.
[21:40] Yuzu
Don't be so sure yet.
[21:42] Misao
Huh?
[21:43] Yuzu
Sometimes words have power.
[21:45] Yuzu
Even if something is a lie, once you put
it into words, it might become reality.
[21:48] Misao
Oh, come on, quit trying to scare me.
[21:51] Yomogi & Barbra
Rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling
[21:54] Yomogi & Barbra
Make it come apart
[21:55] Yomogi & Barbra
Fly away,
[21:56] Yomogi & Barbra
pigeon coo-coo
[21:57] Yomogi & Barbra
Rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling
[22:00] Yomogi & Barbra
Tumble hard into face plant,
[22:02] Yomogi & Barbra
don't fall on your ass
[22:03] Barbra & Takada
Yeah!
[22:04] [SONG] Lead
Go! We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
[22:09] [SONG] back
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
[22:16] [SONG] lead
Hi! Hi! Hello! Let's get
on with the show today.
[22:19] [SONG] lead
We've just got four minutes, but we
hope you hear everything that we say.
[22:22] [SONG] back
Hey there cutie, hey there cutie,
didn't even miss a beat there, cutie.
[22:24] [SONG] lead
We hope you enjoy the show today.
[22:27] [SONG] lead
Here at home with you, in your living room,
we'll put a twinkle into your eyes.
[22:33] [SONG] lead
We've all dreamed to see if we could be
on a stage so free. Now it's a reality!
[22:42] [SONG] lead
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
[22:45] [SONG] lead
It's all good when we're laughing together.
[22:48] [SONG] lead
If we bomb, slip, even if we cry,
so what! That's still part of our destiny.
[22:53] [SONG] lead
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
[22:56] [SONG] lead
We'll hit it big if we
keep laughing together.
[22:59] [SONG] lead
We never knew that life
could ever be like this,
[23:02] [SONG] lead
and now that we're going, you know
there's no way we'll ever stop!
[23:05] [SONG] lead
We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
[23:09] [SONG] back
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
[23:10] [SONG] lead
All of our searching, all of our
training is fading out into the past.
[23:16] [SONG] lead
But to us now, those memories
will always be so precious.
[23:22] [SONG] lead
All of the tears, all of the pain,
rewriting life with our own words.
[23:27] [SONG] lead
We want to laugh it all away with you,
right up to the end. And that's a wrap!
SIGN The Adult Meat Chapter
E8 - The Adult Meat Chapter
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN The Nonfictions
SIGN The Girls Who Devoted Their Lives to Comedy
[00:01] Narrator
A group of girls have devoted the
shining days of their youth to comedy
SIGN The Nonfictions
[00:06] Narrator
for the Teppen Grand Prix.
[00:08] Narrator
They spend their days pushing
each other to reach for the top.
[00:13] Narrator
Takahashi Yomogi-san's home
is a takoyaki restaurant.
[00:17] Narrator
Times are tough, and the shop is on
the verge of going out of business.
[00:22] Narrator
Hoping to pull it back from the brink, she is
betting everything on the Teppen Grand Prix.
[00:26] Narrator
When asked what she would do if another
member held her back, she answered coolly.
[00:33] Yomogi
If I can't use them, I gotta throw them out.
SIGN Takako-so Live Skit Show!!!
[00:36] Narrator
Next weekend, the girls have decided
to put on a live skit show.
[00:40] Narrator
It will be a kind of prelude
to the Grand Prix.
[00:43] Narrator
They're stepping up their rehearsals.
[00:46] Narrator
One member, Sakamoto Yayoi-san,
is shaking with stress.
[00:50] Narrator
But who could blame her?
[00:52] Narrator
For girls with so little stage experience,
this is a once-in-a-lifetime event.
SIGN Takako-so Live Skit Show
[00:59] Narrator
On the day of the show,
backstage became a battleground.
[01:04] Narrator
The problems were endless,
one after the next.
[01:08] Narrator
Their first live skit show was a disaster.
[01:12] Narration
When it was over, we asked
the girls this question:
SIGN Takako-so Live Skit Show
SIGN Do you like comedy?
SIGN D
O
Y
O
U
L
I
K
E
C
O
M
E
D
Y
?
[01:18] Mako
Of course I like it.
[01:19] Misao
Yeah, I like it, too.
[01:21] Kana
Definitely!
[01:22] Mone
You could even say I love it.
[01:25] Chihori
Even if I have to sacrifice
something else for it.
[01:27] Yayoi
Yeah! I love it!
[01:29] Narrator
Their youth has only just begun.
[01:41] Yuzu
What was that?
[01:44] [SONG] all
Yeah!
[01:44] [SONG] Yomogi
So, what's comedy?
[01:45] [SONG] Yayoi
Yo!
[01:46] [SONG] Yuzu
Tough question, for me
[01:47] [SONG] Yayoi
What could it be?
It's too far out to see!
[01:48] [SONG] Yuzu & Yomogi
Be! See!
[01:49] [SONG] Yomogi
Boke and tsukkomi, in the zone
[01:49] [SONG] Yayoi
Ye ye, in the zone!
[01:51] [SONG] Yuzu
We got god-tier jokes on the horizon
[01:51] [SONG] Yayoi & Yomogi
God! Horizon!
[01:53] [SONG] Kana
Wanna see us split into bunshin
[01:53] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Yeah!
[01:54] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Bullets!
[01:54] [SONG] Kana
And hear gags flying at you like bullets?
[01:56] [SONG] Kana
Leave it to comedy ninjas!
[01:57] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Nin-nin!
[01:57] [SONG] Saeka
High society, celebrity
[01:57] [SONG] Hikari & Mako
High! Celebrity!
[01:59] [SONG] Saeka
The cleanest jokes are our priority
[02:00] [SONG] Hikari & Mako
Priority!
[02:02] [SONG] Miyu
Yeah, Akudare, making you all laugh
[02:02] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Yeah!
[02:03] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Ah! Ah!
[02:04] [SONG] Miyu
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back
[02:04] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back!
[02:06] [SONG] Yuina
We. Are. The. Invaders. Yo.
[02:07] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
Ah Invaders
[02:08] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
That should tell you all you need to know
[02:09] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
Need to know!
[02:10] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Yeah!
[02:10] [SONG] Yuzu
Shake it up, Wai-Wai!
[02:10] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Wai-Wai!
[02:11] [SONG] Yomogi
Heat up the timeline!
[02:11] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Timeline!
[02:12] [SONG] Yayoi
Scramble for the win,
we won't give up our pride
[02:14] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Pride!
[02:15] [SONG] Yomogi
Found a new line
[02:15] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Oh!
[02:15] [SONG] Yuzu
Gonna sweep the prime time
[02:16] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Oh!
[02:16] [SONG] Yayoi
Who's on top then?
[02:18] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Gotta take the Teppen!
[02:18] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina
Take it to the top
[02:20] [SONG] all call
Doin' it for real!
[02:21] [SONG] Kana; Saeka
We'll show you, giving everything
we got, oh yeah
[02:22] [SONG] all call
Oh yeah
[02:23] [SONG] Miyu; Yuina
Gonna face the challenge head-on
[02:23] [SONG] all call
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
[02:25] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina
Running straight ahead
[02:25] [SONG] all call
Yo! Yo! Yo!
[02:27] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai
Take it to the top
[02:27] [SONG] all call
Yeah that's right!
[02:29] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai
It's show
[02:30] [SONG] Yomogi
Don't slow down to hear them
call you funny, not a day
[02:32] [SONG] Yuzu
You'll never reach the top that way
[02:32] [SONG] all call
Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh yeah!
[02:34] [SONG] Yayoi
You know it's true, what we say
[02:36] [SONG] all call
Hey!
[02:37] [SONG] all sing
But this isn't about us just getting a laugh
[02:40] [SONG] all call
Yeah! Yeah!
[02:43] [SONG] all sing
That's not why we're here
It's much bigger, bigger than all that
[02:46] [SONG] all call
All that
[02:47] [SONG] all sing
We want to get
[02:47] [SONG] all call
We want to get, yeah!
[02:50] [SONG] all sing
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
[02:50] [SONG] all call
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
[02:55] [SONG] all sing
Yeah if we are the ones
that are making you laugh
[02:55] [SONG] all call
Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye!
[03:00] [SONG] all sing
We gotta go so hard it'll really,
really give us that, you know?
[03:04] [SONG] all sing
Top of the laugh
[03:04] [SONG] all call
Top of the laugh Ye~ah!
[03:07] [SONG] all sing
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way.
We're gonna make it to the top one day!
[03:07] [SONG] all call
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way,
oh! We're gonna make it to the top one day!
[03:12] [SONG] Yayoi
Aw yeah!
[03:14] Yuzu
What was that?
SIGN The Adult Meat Chapter
[03:20] All
A documentary program?
[03:22] Seiji
Yeah. For a week starting tomorrow,
we'll have a camera following us.
[03:28] Yomogi
He's already here!
[03:29] Yuzu
Isn't this all just a little too sudden?
[03:31] Seiji
The program made an offer to the
Teppen Grand Prix Committee.
[03:35] Seiji
I responded and asked them to
please cover us in detail.
[03:39] Yayoi
Why?
[03:40] Seiji
How much do you think it cost to repair
Takako-so after you reduced it to ruins?
[03:45] Seiji
You'd better make yourself useful!
[03:47] Yuzu
There's nothing we can say to that.
[03:50] Misao
You want to show us as we
are and won't interfere?
[03:55] Hina
You aren't going to tell us to do things?
[03:58] Hina
But isn't that what TV is like?
[04:00] Mako
Yeah, yeah.
[04:02] Chitose
So you're saying you want to
record us acting naturally?
[04:07] Hikari
Why isn't he talking, though?
[04:12] Seiji
Yeah, that's it! Give those quads some love!
[04:15] Seiji
Pump up! Pump up!
[04:17] Seiji
Come on, get with it! Did you
forget we're being filmed?
[04:21] Chihori
But he told us to act normally.
[04:23] Mako
I'd like to take all this more seriously,
but I guess we gotta act normal.
[04:29] Seiji
Well, if that's how you're
gonna be, then I have my own idea.
[04:32] Seiji
Eat this!
[04:34] Mako & Chihori
So spicy!
[04:38] Seiji
I thought this might happen, so I loaded up
with super-spicy rounds to punish you.
[04:43] Seiji
If you screw around,
I'll stuff you full of them!
[04:46] All
Eek!
[04:47] All
Macho! Macho! Macho! Macho!
[04:50] Seiji
Doesn't it feel great
to break a fresh sweat?
[04:53] Chitose
No part of this is great!
[04:56] Yomogi
I'm so worn out.
[04:58] Yuzu
Seiji-san got really fired up.
[05:01] Yayoi
Yeah.
[05:02] Yayoi
Oh?
[05:06] Yayoi
Is this for a concert or something?
[05:08] Worker
What?! But we've already built it!
[05:11] Worker
Please, you can't be serious!
[05:12] Yuzu
Did something happen?
[05:15] Worker
Three days from now, a cable idol group
was supposed to have a concert here.
SIGN LAN-neechan
SIGN USBmi
SIGN HDMIko
SIGN The Cables
[05:20] Yomogi
A cable idol group?
SIGN LAN-neechan
SIGN LAN-neechan
SIGN USBmi
[05:21] Worker
But they all got caught in relationships.
SIGN The Cables Hook Up
[05:24] Worker
They were dating boys from a PC idol group.
[05:27] Yomogi
Sounds like they were compatible.
[05:29] Worker
Now the concert's been canceled, after we
went through the trouble of building a stage.
[05:34] Yuzu
A-ha! In that case...!
[05:36] Yayoi & Yomogi
Huh?
[05:38] Yayoi
Ta-dah!
SIGN Takako-so Live Skit Show!!!
[05:40] Iroha
"Takako-so Live Skit Show"?
[05:42] Yayoi
Yeah! Do you want to invite our neighbors
and do a live show in three days?
[05:47] Yuzu
There are so many of us
aspiring comedians here.
[05:50] Yuzu
Wouldn't it be fun to
do a skit all together?
[05:53] Kana
That's a great idea!
[05:55] Chitose
A group skit! Yeah.
It'll be good practice, too!
[05:58] Yayoi
Let's do it, then! It's settled!
[06:00] Yayoi
Let's start rehearsing!
[06:02] Misao
Rehearse when we don't
even know what we're doing?
[06:05] Misao
We need a script first.
[06:07] Yuzu
We already have one.
[06:08] Miyu
So quick!
[06:09] Yuzu
I'm always jotting down ideas.
[06:11] Yuzu
I took one of them and
fleshed it out a little.
[06:14] Yuzu
I still haven't decided much
outside of the main plot, though.
[06:17] Yuina
It's based on Cinderella.
[06:19] Hikari
Funny rewrites of fairy tales
always work great for skits.
[06:23] Yayoi
How do we pick the roles?
[06:25] Yomogi
Well, I guess we could let people pick first
and then draw straws for any that overlap.
[06:29] Yuzu
Have any of you chosen a role?
[06:31] Miyu
Me!
[06:31] Miyu
You know the role I'm gonna play...
[06:34] Miyu
The role of Komon-sama!
[06:36] Yuzu
He's not in this.
[06:37] Miyu
Doesn't matter!
[06:38] Miyu
Just write a new character into the skit!
[06:41] Miyu
I'll be Komon-sama. Misao and Hina
will be Suke-san and Kaku-san.
[06:44] Miyu
And Kana'll be our Pinwheel Yahachi.
[06:46] Kana
Me too?
[06:47] Miyu
Don't try to hide it!
[06:48] Miyu
I know you secretly want to
join Akudare to be Yahachi.
[06:51] Miyu
The pinwheel you're always
wearing is the proof!
[06:54] Kana
I-I never even realized!
[06:57] Kana
I had the blood of Akudare... of Ibaraki
running through my veins!
[07:02] Kana
Could it be I'm a member of a warrior race
sent from Ibaraki to destroy all of Kansai?
[07:08] Hina
Not everybody from Ibaraki
is part of a warrior race.
[07:10] Hina
That's just Misao.
[07:12] Misao
I ain't one, either!
[07:13] Yayoi
Does anyone else have a
role they want to play?
[07:16] Mone
I guess I'll be part of the space police.
[07:18] Yuzu
That's not in this!
[07:19] Mako
I want to be an IT company president!
[07:20] Yuzu
You can't!
[07:21] Saeka
There's no IT company to have
a president in Cinderella.
[07:23] Saeka
You could at least be the day trader
living in the chateau's attic.
[07:27] Yuzu
Weirdos aren't allowed to live there!
[07:32] Yuzu
Here are the roles, then.
SIGN ○ Cinderella
SIGN Yayoi
SIGN ○ Prince
SIGN Yomogi
SIGN ○ Fairy Godmother
SIGN Yuzu
SIGN ○ Stepmother
SIGN Saeka
SIGN ○ Fairy Godmother's Helpers
SIGN Mako, Miyu, Mone
[07:34] Chitose
Hold it!
[07:35] Yuzu
What's wrong?
[07:36] Chitose
What the heck is this "trashy
Kansai folks" stuff?!
SIGN ○ Other Extra
SIGN ○ Other Etcetera
SIGN ○ Trashy Kansai Folks at the Ball
SIGN Kana, Chitose, Iroha
SIGN ○ Other
[07:39] Yayoi
Ooh! You're really getting
into the role, Chitose-chan!
[07:42] Chitose
I ain't acting yet!
[07:43] Mako
The fairy godmother's helpers, huh?
[07:45] Miyu
I'd rather be Komon-sama,
but I guess this is okay.
[07:48] Yuzu
First, the scene where you bully
Cinderella to the breaking point.
[07:51] Saeka
I'm not sure that I'll be able
to say such mean things.
SIGN Wicked Stepmother Role
[07:54] Mako
Go for it, Saeka!
[07:56] Yuzu
Okay, start!
[07:57] Yayoi
Stepmother...
[07:59] Yayoi
Eek!
[07:59] Saeka
You deserve no more than a maggot's
scraps stewed in sewage.
[08:04] Saeka
I'll tear your revolting body apart, piece
by piece, and feed you to the rats!
[08:09] Yayoi
Eek!
[08:12] Saeka
What did you think?
[08:16] Yuzu
I-It was really good, but you sounded
more murderous than wicked.
[08:22] Yuzu
Do you think you can lighten it up a little?
[08:24] Saeka
I'm sorry! This is so out
of character for me.
[08:27] Saeka
Please let me try again.
[08:29] Yuzu
Okay, start!
[08:30] Yayoi
S-Stepmother...
[08:34] Saeka
Don't you dare push your luck
with me, you little .
[08:36] Saeka
You made a mistake leaving
the ******** you came from.
[08:39] Saeka*
You'll wish you'd swam up a -filled
* and crawled back up some 's .
[08:47] Saeka
Was that better?
[08:51] Hikari
Saeka's hobby is watching movies.
[08:54] Chitose*
She must be into some real dark stuff.
SIGN Fairy Godmother's Helper A
[08:56] Mako
Cinderella's outfit has got
to have a tea leaf pattern.
[09:00] Miyu
You can't decide that yourself!
It's gotta be a clam design!
SIGN Fairy Godmother's Helper B
[09:03] Mone
No! Tentacles, like from a Martian!
SIGN Fairy Godmother's Helper C
[09:06] Miyu
Clam design! Clam design!
[09:06] Mako
Tea leaves would be way cuter!
[09:06] Mone
A space design is the best!
[09:09] Yuzu
This is the scene where they fight over
how to dress Cinderella for the ball...
[09:14] Yomogi
But it needs more impact.
[09:16] Misao
Fine, then.
[09:17] Misao
I'll coach the actors!
[09:20] Mako
I'll be the one to decide
Cinderella's outfit!
[09:25] Miyu
No, I will!
[09:29] Mone
Is that so? I'll settle this.
[09:36] Yomogi
They're getting pretty physical
for a fairy's helpers.
[09:39] Yuzu
It does have more impact...
[09:41] Yuzu
But this isn't the right kind.
[09:46] Yomogi
Our manager usually takes care of meals
for us, but sometimes I help out, too.
[09:52] Yomogi
Oh, this? I'm cutting off
the parts you can't eat.
[09:56] Yomogi
If I can't use them, I gotta throw them out.
[09:59] Yayoi
It looks great!
[10:00] Yayoi
Did you clean the fish
yourself, Yomogi? Thanks!
[10:03] Kana
Yo! Way to commit piscicide!
[10:05] Yomogi
Don't say it like that!
[10:06] Iroha
Fish is full of DHA. I want to eat it
more because it lowers LDL cholesterol.
[10:12] Chitose
Could you hold off on the fitness
talk while we're eating?
[10:16] Chitose
I feel like I'm being sprinkled with guilt.
[10:18] Miyu
Yeah, like when you're eating yakisoba
and you see someone in dreads,
[10:21] Miyu
and you want to sprinkle
dried seaweed on them?
[10:23] Chitose
That's different.
[10:24] Saeka
Yes, that's true. I also
love fish. And meat? Well...
[10:29] Mako
Of course I like it!
[10:31] Misao
Yeah, I like it, too.
[10:32] Kana
Definitely!
[10:34] Mone
You could even say I love it.
[10:36] Chihori
I love eating it. Even if I have to
sacrifice something else for it.
[10:39] Yuina
You sound a little too ready to.
[10:42] Seiji
All right, all right.
Stop talking and eat up.
[10:46] Seiji
We get started on the show early tomorrow!
[10:48] All
Okay!
SIGN Takako-so Live Skit Show!!!
SIGN Takako-so Live Skit Show!!!
[11:17] Miyu
What?!
[11:19] Miyu
The costumes aren't here yet?!
[11:21] Misao
There was a traffic jam,
and the truck is late.
[11:25] Yuzu
It made it! The truck just arrived.
[11:27] Miyu
All right!
[11:28] Chitose
It barely made it!
[11:30] Hikari
These are the costumes for Cinderella?
[11:32] Yuzu
It looks like they messed up and sent us
a superhero stage show's costumes instead.
[11:36] Yomogi
How could they mix those up?!
[11:37] Mone
We can't do Cinderella in these.
[11:41] Yayoi
Let's do it!
[11:43] Yuzu
Yayoi?
[11:44] Yayoi
Let's do Cinderella in these costumes!
[11:46] Yayoi
I know we can pull it off!
[11:48] Misao
Only 10 minutes until curtain,
with a full house.
[11:51] Yayoi
Let's give it a shot! If we cancel,
the guests will all be disappointed.
[11:55] Yuina
But these costumes are totally wrong!
[11:58] Yayoi
So let's turn that into a joke!
[12:00] Yomogi
Yeah. Let's take advantage of this
accident to make the audience laugh!
[12:04] Yomogi
I know we're up to it!
[12:06] Yomogi
Right, Yuzu?
[12:07] Yuzu
All right. I'll adjust the script.
[12:10] Chitose
Right now? But that's impossible!
[12:12] Yuzu
I'll do it because it's impossible.
[12:14] Yuzu
A trapped flower always blossoms.
[12:16] Yuzu
That's what comedy is!
[12:20] Kana
Yeah, you're right. Let's do it!
[12:21] Saeka
That is true.
[12:23] Miyu
Let's do this!
[12:24] Chitose
We've gotta try!
[12:25] Mako
Let's do it!
[12:25] Iroha
Let's do it!
[12:28] Yayoi
All right then, all together!
[12:30] Yayoi
Let's give it a shot!
[12:31] All
Yeah!
SIGN Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SIGN Takako-so Live Skit Show
[12:37] Hina
Thank you for waiting. We will now
begin the Takako-so Live Skit Show.
[12:43] Hina
Please enjoy it to the end.
[12:45] Hina
A long, long time ago, there was a
pure-hearted girl named Cinderella.
[12:50] Yayoi
Phew. Another day of cleaning.
[12:54] Hina
Cinderella was a spider monster.
[12:56] Yayoi
How'd these spider webs get here?
[12:58] Yayoi
Who did it?
[12:59] Yayoi
Oh. Me! Ha ha ha!
[13:02] Hina
Cinderella had three mean older sisters.
[13:06] Hina
The oldest was a
praying mantis monster.
[13:08] Saeka
Oh my, Cinderella. Haven't you
finished cleaning yet?
[13:12] Hina
The second was a turtle monster.
[13:14] Hikari
You sure are slow, huh?
[13:19] Hina
And the third was a lady from Kansai.
[13:21] Chitose
Yer pissin' me off!
[13:23] Yayoi
I am sorry, my sisters.
[13:25] Yayoi
The chateau is filled with spider webs,
and it is taking a long time to clean.
[13:31] Saeka
I don't want to hear your excuses.
[13:32] Chitose
Yer pissin' me off!
[13:34] Hikari
You're almost as slow as a turtle.
[13:37] Chitose
Yer pissin' me off!
[13:40] Kana
I'm done!
SIGN Happily Ever After
[13:41] Kana
You think this'll work?
[13:44] Yuzu
Yeah. Now we put it in the confetti
ball and break it open at the end.
[13:47] Yuina
Isn't that a little forced, though?
[13:49] Kana
Oh, I'm sure it'll work out.
[13:51] Miyu
What the heck?!
[13:53] Miyu
Where did our parts go?
[13:56] Mako
Where are the godmother's helpers?
[13:57] Yuzu
I'm so sorry. With all the script
adjustments, there just wasn't time...
[14:01] Mone
Don't take away my role! I wanna act, too!
[14:03] Miyu & Mako
Me too! Me too!
[14:05] Hina
The three mean sisters
left Cinderella behind,
[14:07] Yuzu
Oh, no! I'm up!
[14:08] Hina
and went to the ball at the castle.
[14:08] Yuzu
I'm really sorry!
[14:10] All three
Hey!
[14:11] All three
Hmph!
[14:14] Mako
If that's how it is...
[14:16] Hina
Cinderella was left all alone.
[14:19] Hina
Even though she wanted to
dance with the prince, too.
[14:24] Yayoi
Who are you?
[14:26] Yuzu
My name is Professor Yuzu.
[14:28] Yuzu
Spider Monster, do you want power?
[14:31] Yayoi
No, I want to go to the ball!
[14:34] Yuzu
Then I shall give you power. There!
[14:36] Yayoi
Oh, gee!
[14:38] Yuina
Nope, the music isn't playing.
I wonder if the speakers are broken.
[14:43] Misao
It's gonna be real dull without music.
[14:45] Iroha
If we at least had something
for the climax...
[14:47] Misao
Okay, then. We'll go looking.
[14:49] Iroha
We just need some kind
of instruments, right?
[14:53] Yuina
Huh? Hey, wait!
[14:55] Yuina
This really isn't gonna work!
[14:58] Hina
And then, right as the ball was beginning...
[15:02] Yomogi
I am the prince. I have a feeling I will
have a fateful encounter at tonight's ball.
[15:08] Saeka
Oh, you're so handsome, Prince Red.
[15:11] Saeka
I wonder if you might dance with me.
[15:13] Chitose
Yer pissin' me off!
[15:16] Saeka
Could that possibly be...
[15:18] Saeka; Chitose
Cinderella!
[15:18] Hikari
Cinderella...
[15:20] Yomogi
How beautiful!
[15:22] Yayoi
Oh, Prince!
[15:23] Yomogi
I am Prince Red. May I ask
you to dance with me?
[15:28] Yayoi
Yes, with pleasure!
[15:35] Yuzu
Mm-hmm. Good scene.
If we can keep this up...
[15:38] Chihori
Hey, do we have glass slippers?
[15:40] Yuzu & Yuina
Oh!
[15:41] Yuzu
Wh-Wh-What do we do?
[15:46] Yayoi
I have to go.
[15:48] Yomogi
Wait! At least tell me your name.
[15:52] Yayoi
I'm sorry!
[15:57] Yomogi
This must give me a hint as to who she is.
[16:00] Yuzu
That's what you went with?
[16:01] Yuzu
I've never heard of a Cinderella who
leaves a spider leg at the ball!
[16:05] Yuina
But it's all I had!
[16:07] Chihori
I've never heard of a spider
monster Cinderella to begin with.
[16:12] Mako
We have taken over the ball!
[16:15] Miyu
Be smart, and follow our orders!
[16:17] Mone
Or we'll shoot you with laser beams!
[16:19] Yuzu
What are they doing?!
[16:20] Yomogi
Who do you think you are?! I mean,
there's no scene like this in the script!
[16:24] Mako
Shut up!
[16:26] Mako
We don't care about the script.
[16:27] Mako
We wanted parts, too!
[16:29] Mone
Yeah! Yeah!
[16:31] Miyu
From here on, it's an evil fairy tale!
[16:33] Miyu
We're the rulers of this land now!
[16:36] Yuzu
This is a total mess!
[16:37] Yuina
Wh-What should we do?
[16:41] Iroha
That sound...
[16:43] Misao
Oh!
[16:49] Mako
Prince, here I come!
[16:54] Yomogi
K-Kansai lady!
[16:57] Chitose
Don't lay a hand on my sister's man!
Yer pissin' me off!
[17:03] Chitose
Croak...
[17:04] All four
Oh!
[17:05] Hikari
Wide open!
[17:10] Saeka
If you lay a hand on my little sister's
boyfriend, this praying mantis monster...
[17:14] Hikari
...and this turtle monster...
[17:15] Saeka & Hikari
...will never forgive you!
[17:15] Saeka & Hikari
...will never forgive you!
[17:17] Mako
What is this?
[17:18] Saeka
It's for ignoring the script
and starting trouble!
[17:20] Mako
With a joint loc—
[17:22] Mako
Ow! I give up!
[17:23] Yayoi
Oh? What's going to happen next?
[17:25] Hikari
We've got to bring it back somehow,
so the story doesn't fall apart!
[17:29] Saeka
We have to bring it to a happy ending.
[17:31] Hikari & Saeka
But we don't have a plan!
[17:33] Mako
Ouch! Ouch!
[17:35] Yuzu
I bet everyone on stage is improvising.
[17:37] Yuzu
What should we do?
[17:38] Yuina
I love these wild plot twists so much.
[17:40] Yuzu
Yuina-chan?
[17:42] Yuina
I gotta... I gotta...
[17:44] Yuina
I'm on fire, y'all!
[17:46] Yuzu; Yayoi; Chihori
Huh?!
[17:48] Yuina
Cosmos Power!
[17:54] Yuina
Don't you see what's happening?
[17:56] Yuina
Your sisters are fighting for your sake!
[18:00] Yuina
Are you too scared to come out?
[18:01] Yuina
Are you scared the prince
will find out who you are?
[18:04] Yuina
None of that matters one bit!
[18:06] Yuina
You are who you are!
[18:08] Saeka
I've never seen this side of her.
[18:09] Mone
Yuina gets like this sometimes.
[18:12] Mako
She does, huh?
[18:15] Yomogi
Yayo—I mean, it's you!
[18:18] Yomogi
Thank you, my sisters. I...
[18:21] Yomogi
I'm glad I was born as a monster!
[18:25] Yayoi
Take this! Cinderella Spider Cannon!
[18:31] Yuina
Here, use this.
[18:35] Yomogi
A perfect fit! It's you, from the ball!
[18:39] Yayoi
I'm Cinderella. As you can see,
I'm a spider monster.
[18:43] Yomogi
That doesn't matter! Marry me now!
[18:47] Yayoi
Even... as a spider monster?
[18:51] Yomogi
Even... as a spider monster.
[18:58] Yayoi
Prince Red!
[19:00] Yomogi
Spider Monster!
[19:08] Hina
And the two lovers lived happily ever after.
[19:18] Hina
And the two lovers lived happily ever after...
[19:24] Kana
Huh?
[19:29] Yayoi
Huh?
[19:31] Chihori
The confetti ball...
[19:32] Yuzu
It isn't opening!
[19:39] Kana
In that case...
[19:44] Kana
Jump!
[19:46] Kana
Ooh... Whoa!
[19:55] Yayoi & Yomogi
Aah!
[20:07] Yayoi & Yomogi
Ouch!
SIGN Happily Ever After
SIGN Unedited Footage
[20:24] Mako
The video they gave us is totally
different from what they aired!
[20:27] Chitose
The edits are so misleading, too!
[20:30] Yomogi
Why'd they say my shop was
going out of business?
[20:32] Misao
He said he wanted to film us as we are,
but never said they wouldn't edit it.
[20:37] Miyu
It ain't right!
[20:38] Mone
This isn't the real us at all.
We should complain!
[20:41] Yuina
Yeah, let's!
[20:43] Seiji
Oh, my. Was the program not to your liking?
[20:46] Seiji
A while ago, before it aired,
[20:48] Seiji
the Teppen Grand Prix Committee called
and told me they were shown the video.
[20:53] Seiji
The edited version, of course.
[20:56] Seiji
They said it was very moving.
[20:58] Seiji
The story of girls struggling and fighting
for comedy with all their strength
[21:02] Seiji
really touched their hearts, they said.
[21:04] Chitose
They were moved by this?
That doesn't make me happy at all.
[21:07] Seiji
Oh, really?
[21:08] Seiji
Even though they sent you a nice reward?
[21:11] Mako
We don't want a reward for that!
Send it straight back!
[21:14] Seiji
Oh my.
[21:15] Seiji
But you've already eaten it all.
[21:17] Yuzu
What do you mean?
[21:19] Seiji
That high-quality sukiyaki
meat was your reward.
[21:22] All three
Huh?!
[21:26] Mako
The meat... was delicious.
[21:29] Chitose
I guess that's what being
an adult tastes like.
SIGN Takako-so Live Skit Show
SIGN Takako-so Live Skit Show
[21:43] (Flashback) Yomogi
Oh! You all came?
[21:45] (Flashback) Yuzu
What did you think?
[21:47] (Flashback) Miki
It was really funny!
[21:47] (Flashback) Rine
It was funny!
[21:48] (Flashback) Yuzu
Thank you.
[21:50] (Flashback) Yayoi
Yoshihiro, it's been a while!
[21:52] (Flashback) Yayoi
Thanks for coming. Did you like it?
[21:54] (Flashback) Yoshihiro
It looked like you three
were really having fun.
[21:56] (Flashback) Yoshihiro
You really do like comedy, don't you?
[21:59] (Flashback) Yayoi
Yeah! I love it!
[22:04] [SONG] Lead
Go! We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
[22:09] [SONG] back
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
[22:16] [SONG] lead
Hi! Hi! Hello! Let's get
on with the show today.
[22:19] [SONG] lead
We've just got four minutes, but we
hope you hear everything that we say.
[22:22] [SONG] back
Hey there cutie, hey there cutie,
didn't even miss a beat there, cutie.
[22:24] [SONG] lead
We hope you enjoy the show today.
[22:27] [SONG] lead
Here at home with you, in your living room,
we'll put a twinkle into your eyes.
[22:33] [SONG] lead
We've all dreamed to see if we could be
on a stage so free. Now it's a reality!
[22:42] [SONG] lead
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
[22:45] [SONG] lead
It's all good when we're laughing together.
[22:48] [SONG] lead
If we bomb, slip, even if we cry,
so what! That's still part of our destiny.
[22:53] [SONG] lead
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
[22:56] [SONG] lead
We'll hit it big if we
keep laughing together.
[22:59] [SONG] lead
We never knew that life
could ever be like this,
[23:02] [SONG] lead
and now that we're going, you know
there's no way we'll ever stop!
[23:05] [SONG] lead
We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
[23:09] [SONG] back
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
[23:10] [SONG] lead
All of our searching, all of our
training is fading out into the past.
[23:16] [SONG] lead
But to us now, those memories
will always be so precious.
[23:22] [SONG] lead
All of the tears, all of the pain,
rewriting life with our own words.
[23:27] [SONG] lead
We want to laugh it all away with you,
right up to the end. And that's a wrap!
SIGN The Adamski Chapter
E9 - The Adamski Chapter
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] All three
Hello!
[00:03] Chihori
We've come a long way to Earth.
[00:05] Mone
We are...
[00:07] All three
...the Invaders!
[00:09] Yuina
My name is Jupitris Naru-Naru Neiji Yuina.
[00:11] Yuina
Planet Earth is being targeted.
[00:13] Mone
I won't let that happen!
[00:14] Mone
As protector of the Earth,
[00:16] Mone
I will take my crab extract-filled beam saber
and smash your evil ambitions to bits!
[00:20] Chihori
Actually, Venusians find
crustaceans revolting.
[00:23] Yuina
I only came to warn you, but figured
I might as well invade while I'm at it.
[00:28] Chihori
Now you're going to invade?
[00:30] Chihori
I would have expected that from a Plutonian!
[00:33] Hikari
Hey, what do you think?
SIGN Fancy
SIGN Fancy
SIGN Takoyaki
[00:35] Hikari
Personally, I don't agree,
but you know Saeka and Mako.
[00:40] Hikari
It's not like I can just
pull one out of a hat.
SIGN Today
SIGN Mother
SIGN I have arrived.
SIGN Fancy
SIGN Fancy
SIGN Takoyaki
[00:43] Chihori
Sorry! Gotta go!
[00:44] Hikari
Huh? Chihori-chan?
[00:58] Mother
It's nice to see you, Chihori.
[01:03] Chihori
Mother!
[01:05] [SONG] all
Yeah!
[01:05] [SONG] Yomogi
So, what's comedy?
[01:06] [SONG] Yayoi
Yo!
[01:06] [SONG] Yuzu
Tough question, for me
[01:08] [SONG] Yayoi
What could it be?
It's too far out to see!
[01:09] [SONG] Yuzu & Yomogi
Be! See!
[01:10] [SONG] Yomogi
Boke and tsukkomi, in the zone
[01:10] [SONG] Yayoi
Ye ye, in the zone!
[01:12] [SONG] Yuzu
We got god-tier jokes on the horizon
[01:12] [SONG] Yayoi & Yomogi
God! Horizon!
[01:14] [SONG] Kana
Wanna see us split into bunshin
[01:14] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Yeah!
[01:15] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Bullets!
[01:15] [SONG] Kana
And hear gags flying at you like bullets?
[01:17] [SONG] Kana
Leave it to comedy ninjas!
[01:18] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Nin-nin!
[01:18] [SONG] Saeka
High society, celebrity
[01:18] [SONG] Hikari & Mako
High! Celebrity!
[01:20] [SONG] Saeka
The cleanest jokes are our priority
[01:21] [SONG] Hikari & Mako
Priority!
[01:22] [SONG] Miyu
Yeah, Akudare, making you all laugh
[01:23] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Yeah!
[01:24] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Ah! Ah!
[01:25] [SONG] Miyu
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back
[01:25] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back!
[01:27] [SONG] Yuina
We. Are. The. Invaders. Yo.
[01:28] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
Ah Invaders
[01:29] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
That should tell you all you need to know
[01:30] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
Need to know!
[01:31] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Yeah!
[01:31] [SONG] Yuzu
Shake it up, Wai-Wai!
[01:31] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Wai-Wai!
[01:32] [SONG] Yomogi
Heat up the timeline!
[01:32] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Timeline!
[01:33] [SONG] Yayoi
Scramble for the win,
we won't give up our pride
[01:35] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Pride!
[01:35] [SONG] Yomogi
Found a new line
[01:36] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Oh!
[01:36] [SONG] Yuzu
Gonna sweep the prime time
[01:37] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Oh!
[01:37] [SONG] Yayoi
Who's on top then?
[01:39] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Gotta take the Teppen!
[01:39] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina
Take it to the top
[01:41] [SONG] all call
Doin' it for real!
[01:41] [SONG] Kana; Saeka
We'll show you, giving everything
we got, oh yeah
[01:43] [SONG] all call
Oh yeah
[01:44] [SONG] Miyu; Yuina
Gonna face the challenge head-on
[01:44] [SONG] all call
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
[01:46] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina
Running straight ahead
[01:46] [SONG] all call
Yo! Yo! Yo!
[01:48] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai
Take it to the top
[01:48] [SONG] all call
Yeah that's right!
[01:50] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai
It's show
[01:51] [SONG] Yomogi
Don't slow down to hear them
call you funny, not a day
[01:53] [SONG] Yuzu
You'll never reach the top that way
[01:53] [SONG] all call
Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh yeah!
[01:55] [SONG] Yayoi
You know it's true, what we say
[01:57] [SONG] all call
Hey!
[01:58] [SONG] all sing
But this isn't about us just getting a laugh
[02:01] [SONG] all call
Yeah! Yeah!
[02:04] [SONG] all sing
That's not why we're here
It's much bigger, bigger than all that
[02:07] [SONG] all call
All that
[02:08] [SONG] all sing
We want to get
[02:08] [SONG] all call
We want to get, yeah!
[02:11] [SONG] all sing
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
[02:11] [SONG] all call
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
[02:16] [SONG] all sing
Yeah if we are the ones
that are making you laugh
[02:16] [SONG] all call
Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye!
[02:21] [SONG] all sing
We gotta go so hard it'll really,
really give us that, you know?
[02:25] [SONG] all sing
Top of the laugh
[02:25] [SONG] all call
Top of the laugh Yeah!
[02:28] [SONG] all sing
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way.
We're gonna make it to the top one day!
[02:28] [SONG] all call
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way,
oh! We're gonna make it to the top one day!
[02:33] [SONG] Yayoi
Aw yeah!
SIGN The Adamski Chapter
[03:00] Chihori
I left home and came here
exactly one year ago.
[03:05] Chihori
Even though we kept finding
fliers in space debris,
SIGN Hokkaido Food Fair
SIGN All-You-Can-Eat Crab
SIGN Exquisite Wire-Grilled Scallops
[03:08] Chihori
the Hokkaido Food Fair never made it
to where I live for some reason.
[03:12] Chihori
In order to taste the authentic ingredients,
[03:15] Chihori
I realized,
[03:16] Chihori
I'll just have to go there myself!
SIGN Hokkaidiner
SIGN Open
SIGN Hokkaidiner
[03:25] TV Comedian
Wow!
[03:26] TV Comedian
Doin' or don't?
[03:28] TV Comedian
Ya doin' doin'?
[03:30] TV Comedian
Ya don't don't don't?
[03:31] (Flashback) Waiter
Here you go.
[03:32] TV Comedian
Doin' doin' doin' doin'!
[03:33] (Flashback) Chihori
Wow!
[03:35] Chihori
Finally, the blue planet's treasure chest!
[03:36] TV Comedian
Ya don't?
[03:39] (Flashback) Chihori
Wow! It has legs just like my pet on Mars!
[03:42] Chihori
Hokkaido's cuisine was all delicious.
[03:45] (Flashback) Chihori
Wow! The fruit's flesh is the
color of a Venusian lake!
[03:49] Chihori
It was delicious.
[03:51] (Flashback) Chihori
Wow! It looks like the
insects in Jupiter space!
[03:54] Chihori
This is too good!
[03:55] Chihori
It was so delicious!
[03:57] (Flashback) Teacher
Hokuto Chihori?
[03:59] (Flashback) Chihori
Present!
[04:00] Chihori
Before I knew it, I'd started living here.
[04:01] Teacher
You don't have to stand up.
[04:03] (Flashback) Chihori
Present!
SIGN Hokkaido Gourmet Festival
SIGN Exquisite! Hokkaido Gourmet Festival
SIGN Special Seafood Bowl
A jewel box filled with
the fruits of the sea
[04:05] (Flashback) Mone
Sniff, sniff, sniff...
[04:08] (Flashback) Mone
Sniff, sniff, sniff...
[04:10] (Flashback) Mone
I smell outer space.
[04:11] (Flashback) Chihori
Huh?
[04:12] (Flashback) Mone
You know, you really smell
like outer space, Hokuto-san.
[04:16] Chihori
Oh, no! Is my cover blown?
[04:19] Chihori
If the truth gets out, it'll be a disaster!
[04:23] Chihori
I might be captured and dissected!
[04:25] Chihori
But I can't shoot an innocent...
[04:28] (Flashback) Yuina
Mone, leave her alone.
You're making her nervous.
[04:31] (Flashback) Yuina
I'm sorry, Hokuto-san.
[04:33] (Flashback) Mone
Huh? But I, like, just saw her.
[04:36] (Flashback) Mone
Hokuto-san was looking at tons
of space pictures on her phone.
[04:39] Chihori
I got lonely and started looking at
pictures of home. Was she spying on me?
[04:43] (Flashback) Mone
Hey, don't you like space
stuff too, Hokuto-san?
[04:46] (Flashback) Mone
Do you like movies more? Or anime?
[04:48] (Flashback) Mone
I can go either way.
[04:52] (Flashback) Mone
This is a lighty saber,
but it's also a beamy saber.
[04:57] (Flashback) Chihori
U-Um...
[04:58] (Flashback) Mone
I always wanted to summon a real alien
to watch space movies and anime with me,
[05:03] (Flashback) Mone
so we could debate which was
the best. That's my dream.
[05:06] (Flashback) Mone
Wouldn't that be fun, Hokuto-san?
[05:09] (Flashback) Yuina
Don't make assumptions about her, Mone!
[05:11] (Flashback) Yuina
Maybe she's simply interested in
the planets. Right, Hokuto-san?
[05:14] (Flashback) Chihori
Huh?
[05:14] (Flashback) Chihori
I... I... I like both!
[05:19] (Flashback) Chihori
Stars, planets... I like
everything about outer space!
[05:22] (Flashback) Chihori
See? I'm not suspicious at all!
[05:23] (Flashback) Mone
Oh, she speaks!
[05:25] (Flashback) Yuina
Let's talk all about our
favorite planets, okay?
[05:28] Chihori
Far, far away from home,
I made some new friends.
[05:32] (Flashback) Girls
Here!
[05:34] (Flashback) Girls
Here!
[05:34] (Flashback) Mone
A lot of kids are starting bands
for next month's school festival.
[05:38] (Flashback) Mone
Some from our class, too.
[05:40] (Flashback) Chihori
Is that right?
[05:41] (Flashback) Yuina
That sounds fun.
[05:42] (Flashback) Mone
Oh? Do you wanna start a band?
[05:44] (Flashback) Yuina
N-No way. I just, um,
[05:47] (Flashback) Yuina
think it'd be fun to do something together,
and then be all like, "Let's do this!"
[05:51] (Flashback) Yuina
That would be great.
[05:52] (Flashback) Mone
Oh, totally.
[05:53] (Flashback) Mone
Have some teenage fun.
[05:55] (Flashback) Mone
We sure aren't being very teenage.
[05:57] (Flashback) Chihori
We aren't being teenage?
[05:59] (Flashback) Mone
Nope. Sorry.
[06:01] (Flashback) Chihori
Well then, let's do something teenage!
[06:03] (Flashback) Chihori
Something we can do together!
[06:06] (Flashback) Mone
Like what?
[06:07] (Flashback) Chihori
Like something!
[06:08] (Flashback) Mone
So, like, what?
[06:11] (Flashback) Yuina
Oh.
[06:13] (Flashback) Yuina
Comedy!
[06:15] (Flashback) Mone & Chihori
Huh?
[06:16] (Flashback) Yuina
Wouldn't it be fun to do comedy together?
[06:19] (Flashback) Yuina
You both like comedy too, right?
[06:22] (Flashback) Cow
Moo!
[06:24] (Flashback) Yuina
Okay, so...
[06:26] (Flashback) Yuina
I saw a salmon passing by
and decided to grill it!
[06:29] (Flashback) Mone
You can't grill up someone's pet salmon!
[06:32] (Flashback) Chihori
Oh, my poor salmon Taro-chan!
[06:35] (Flashback) All three
Huh?
[06:39] (Flashback) Mone
Let's take a break.
[06:43] (Flashback) Chihori
Comedy sure is hard.
[06:46] (Flashback) Yuina
What are we doing wrong?
[06:48] (Flashback) Mone
It's totally obvious.
[06:50] (Flashback) Yuina
What?
[06:50] (Flashback) Mone
It's character. Character!
[06:52] (Flashback) Mone
We're not playing stand-out characters.
[06:54] (Flashback) Chihori
Character, huh?
[06:56] (Flashback) Chihori
But I doubt it'll work
if we force some gimmick.
[06:59] (Flashback) Yuina
It'd be great if we had something
that came naturally to us.
[07:03] (Flashback) Mone
We do have one thing!
[07:05] (Flashback) Yuina
Huh? What?
[07:06] (Flashback) Mone
It's obvious. Outer space!
[07:09] (Flashback) Chihori
Huh?
[07:10] (Flashback) Mone
You two can play alien invaders
from outer space,
[07:13] (Flashback) Mone
and I can play the warrior
of light protecting Earth.
[07:17] (Flashback) Chihori
Me... an alien?
[07:22] (Flashback) Yuina
I am a space alien!
[07:23] (Flashback) Yuina
I've come to invade this planet!
[07:26] (Flashback) Mone
You won't get away with it! I'll
drive you out with my potato bomb!
[07:30] (Flashback) Chihori
Well, potato eyes are Martians' weak point.
[07:34] (Flashback) Mone
Huh?
[07:35] (Flashback) Yuina
There's no line like that in the script.
[07:38] Chihori
Oh no! I blurted out a
real outer-space fact!
[07:41] (Flashback) Mone
Chihori!
[07:43] (Flashback) Mone
That was good!
[07:45] (Flashback) Yuina
Totally! A space alien who makes
weird space-alien comebacks
[07:47] (Flashback) Yuina
from the perspective of a
space alien! That's new!
[07:50] (Flashback) Mone
Keep those coming, okay?
[07:52] (Flashback) Mone
Let your space flag fly!
[07:53] (Flashback) Yuina
Give us more of your alien gaze, Chihori!
[07:56] (Flashback) Chihori
Just leave it to me!
[07:58] Mone
Take this! Light beam!
[07:58] Chihori
That's how I developed a character that
would keep my home planet a secret,
[07:59] Chihori
No, no, that's a laser.
[08:01] Yuina
That's right! All the way to Iskandaryu
at the edge of the cosmos!
[08:02] Chihori
but still let me share
trivia about outer space.
[08:04] Chihori
It put me in the perfect position.
[08:04] Chihori
That's, um, 148,000 light years from here.
[08:08] Mone & Yuina
No way!
[08:09] Chihori
The routine we later performed at
the school festival was a big hit.
[08:14] Chihori
We gained enough confidence to
enter the Teppen Grand Prix,
[08:17] Chihori
and then a lot of other
things happened, so here we are.
[08:21] Mother
Answer me one thing first. Why did
you leave home without permission?
[08:25] Chihori
M-Mother, that's...
[08:28] Mother
Why did you settle down way out here
in the sticks? Answer me, Chihori!
[08:32] Chihori
It's because...
[08:33] Chihori
If I tell her I came all the way
here just to eat Hokkaido cuisine,
[08:36] Chihori
it's guaranteed she'll get mad.
[08:38] Chihori
I'll have to bluff my way through
with a convincing excuse.
[08:40] Chihori
I am on a mission, Mother!
[08:43] Chihori
It's a very secret, very important mission!
[08:46] Mother
Hmph. Either way, that isn't a good enough
reason to up and run away from home.
[08:50] Mother
Don't you understand? You're in line
to take over the family business!
[08:55] Chihori
I know that, but...
[08:57] Mother
Return home right now!
[08:59] Chihori
But...
[09:00] Mother
This is an order. Go home!
[09:03] Chihori
I don't want to! I am not going home!
I absolutely will not go!
[09:08] Mother
I've never liked this place, you know.
[09:11] Mother
The environment is polluted, and there
are far too many life forms.
[09:15] Mother
I don't think this is the
right place for you at all.
[09:18] Chihori
Then you are wrong!
[09:20] Mother
The one and only thing
I appreciate about this place is...
SIGN A Dog of... Hula Dance?
[09:22] Mother
Its storytelling!
[09:24] Mother
In the climax, the dog uses the last of his
strength to successfully do the hula dance.
[09:30] Mother
He and his master, the boy,
then ascend to heaven.
[09:35] Mother
It's such a moving scene!
[09:37] Mother
I cry every time!
[09:38] Chihori
Please don't cry, Mother!
[09:40] Chihori
That's right! Mother has a
weakness for tearjerkers.
[09:43] Chihori
In that case...
[09:44] Chihori
Mother!
[09:46] Chihori
The humans here very deeply
value compassion and justice.
[09:50] Chihori
Their everyday lives are
overflowing with stories
[09:53] Chihori
so touching, they almost feel like fiction!
[09:55] Chihori
I believe
[09:56] Chihori
that interacting with humans, who live
a powerfully moving day-to-day existence,
[10:02] Chihori
is my mission in life!
[10:04] Chihori
And that is why I absolutely
cannot return home yet!
[10:12] Mother
Like what?
[10:14] Chihori
Huh?
[10:14] Mother
You said they're overflowing with
touching stories, didn't you?
[10:18] Mother
In that case, I want you to tell
me exactly what those stories are.
[10:22] Chihori
Well, that's...
[10:23] Mother
You won't tell me?
[10:24] Chihori
If I don't make it through this,
I really will get sent back home.
[10:28] Chihori
I'll never be able to come back here.
[10:31] Chihori
And I'll never see...
[10:36] Chihori
I will! I'll tell you!
[10:39] Mother
Oh! The upside-down glasses
of determination!
[10:41] Chihori
I'll tell you countless touching
stories about the humans I'm with!
SIGN Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[10:51] Chihori
This is a story about my friend Yuina.
[10:54] Chihori
An ill young girl lived next door to her.
[10:59] Chihori
Her illness got worse by the day,
and eventually she needed surgery.
[11:04] Chihori
But the girl was afraid
of undergoing surgery.
[11:09] Mother
Oh?
[11:10] Chihori
So Yuina decided to make
a deal with the girl.
[11:15] Chihori
"If I hit a home run in tomorrow's baseball
game, will you agree to the surgery?"
[11:20] Chihori
The girl nodded, and the two
made a pinkie promise.
[11:26] Mother
And then? What happened next?
[11:28] Chihori
The day of the game,
SIGN Star
SIGN Hatakeyama University
Wada Paints
Hojo Restaurant
SIGN 9th Bottom
SIGN Strikeouts: 1
SIGN Yamaguchi
SIGN Starting
SIGN ERA
SIGN Strikeouts
SIGN Yuina
SIGN Batting
SIGN Avg.
SIGN Hits
SIGN RBI
SIGN Home Run
[11:37] Yuina & Girl
Yes!
[11:38] Chihori
As promised, Yuina hit a home run, and the
girl underwent a successful surgery.
[11:44] Yuina
If she saw me trying my best,
it might give her some courage, too.
[11:48] Yuina
That's what I thought.
[11:49] Yuina
It's not really my thing, so I wasn't sure
I could do it, but I pulled it off.
[11:55] Yuina
My bond of friendship with her gave
me the strength to do it! I'm sure!
[12:02] Chihori
Mother!
[12:03] Mother
What a nice story!
[12:04] Mother
It's such a perfectly corny trope, there's no
room for complaint! Such a nice story!
[12:08] Chihori
I know, right?
[12:10] Mother
However, that alone isn't
a good enough reason
[12:12] Mother
to deepen your relationship
with these humans.
[12:14] Chihori
Of course, there are others!
[12:16] Mother
What?
[12:17] Chihori
This is a story about another friend, Mone.
[12:22] Chihori
One day, Mone found a lost
pet by the riverside.
[12:25] Chihori
She thought that it must
have been abandoned,
[12:27] Chihori
so she decided to take the little
guy home and raise him herself.
[12:32] Chihori
Day after day, Mone did everything she could
to take care of him and help him grow.
[12:37] Chihori
But several weeks later, Mone ran
into the pet's original owner.
[12:44] Chihori
She said to Mone, "Please return my pet."
[12:48] Mother
H-How selfish!
[12:50] Chihori
The original owner was a little girl.
[12:53] Chihori
She had taken good care of her pet,
but her mother accidentally threw it out.
[12:57] Chihori
When Mone heard that, she decided to return
the precious little guy to its real owner.
[13:04] Mone
Here.
[13:11] Girl
Bye-bye!
[13:15] Mone
Of course I didn't want to
let him go, but you know,
[13:18] Mone
when I saw how sad the girl was,
I couldn't keep him.
[13:22] Mone
But it's fine.
[13:24] Mone
After raising the little guy,
[13:26] Mone
I still feel a bond connecting us.
[13:31] Mother
What a lovely story! It's so predictable,
it hits me right in the heart.
[13:35] Mother
Is this what your humans are like?
[13:37] Chihori
I have plenty more!
[13:38] Mother
Are you serious?
[13:39] Chihori
Kana-chan went to the supermarket
and waited for the employees
[13:43] Chihori
to put end-of-day discount stickers
on the things she wanted.
[13:45] Kana
I waited for, like, three hours,
but they just wouldn't mark them down.
[13:50] Kana
So I decided to try something else.
[13:53] Kana
I tracked down the lady who does the
stickers and started stalking her.
[13:57] Kana
Eventually the lady said, "Okay,
I give up," and put the stickers on.
[14:02] Kana
That's when I knew the lady
and I had a special bond.
[14:07] Chihori
There's more!
[14:08] Hina
I didn't want to get my hopes up,
since it was Ibaraki,
[14:11] Hina
but then I found that trending soap
opera on a local Ibaraki channel.
[14:16] Hina
There must have been a bond connecting us.
[14:19] Chihori
Even more!
[14:20] Yomogi
I forgot to add the octopus,
but they all sold anyway!
[14:23] Yomogi
Thanks to the bonds of friendship.
[14:24] Saeka
We had a financial bond.
[14:26] Yuzu
It was like we had a kind of bond.
[14:28] Miyu
A sticky, stringy bond.
[14:30] Chitose
Literally bonded.
[14:31] Yayoi
After that, we had a special bond.
[14:33] Mother
Oh my god, that's enough!
[14:36] Mother
This is so emotionally draining,
I'm going to dehydrate!
[14:38] Chihori
Do you see now?
[14:40] Chihori
This is the special kind of
radiance that humans have.
[14:44] Mother
At first I foolishly thought you were
just throwing the word "bond" in there
[14:47] Mother
to make meaningless stories
seem meaningful!
[14:50] Mother
Hmm... It's a bad habit of mine.
[14:53] Mother
It seems I underestimated
the potential of these humans.
[14:57] Mother
I must admit that there would be value in
deepening our relationship with them.
[15:01] Chihori
Then...!
[15:02] Mother
However, whether or not they
accept you is a different issue.
[15:06] Chihori
Huh?
[15:07] Mother
You haven't told them, have you?
That you're an outsider.
[15:11] Chihori
Tell them that?!
[15:13] Mother
I've witnessed so much discrimination
based on birth place or skin color.
[15:18] Mother
At times, it has even led to bloodshed.
[15:22] Mother
There is still a very thick wall between
you and the humans of this land.
SIGN Wall
[15:27] Mother
You'll never be able to overco—
[15:29] Chihori
You can't say that!
[15:30] Chihori
I've never felt a wall between us!
[15:32] Chihori
Seafood bowls, crabs,
and melons are all delicious!
[15:35] Chihori
They're delicious, no matter who eats them!
[15:37] Chihori
The time I've spent with my friends here
has been the best time of my life!
[15:43] Chihori
I believe in them!
[15:44] Chihori
We're connected by friendship,
and no wall could ever separate us!
[15:52] Mother
You're determined. I'll give you that.
[15:56] Chihori
Fine! I'll tell them. All of them.
[15:58] Chihori
I'll come out to them as an alien!
[16:05] Chihori
Ah, I'm so nervous.
[16:07] Chihori
"Hey, I'm a space alien!"
[16:09] Chihori
I bet Yuina and Mone would be
really surprised to hear that.
[16:13] Yuina & Mone
What?!
[16:15] Chihori
They'll be so surprised,
their jaws will drop.
[16:18] Chihori
But it'll be okay because...
[16:22] Chihori
We're friends!
[16:23] Yuina
Oh, Chihori. You're late.
[16:26] Mone
If you're too slow, we'll start without you.
[16:28] Mone
But look. It won't light up.
[16:31] Chihori
Yuina, Mone, I have to tell you something.
[16:34] Yuina
Why so serious all of a sudden?
[16:36] Chihori
Everyone, listen up.
[16:38] Hikari
Listen up, everyone. I have
an important announcement.
[16:41] Hikari
I'm actually... from the future!
[16:46] Chihori
What?!
SIGN 5 Hours Earlier
[16:49] (Flashback) Mako
Look! Look!
[16:51] (Flashback) Saeka
Oh? What's this?
[16:52] (Flashback) Mako
My followers online made
a promo video about us.
[16:56] (Flashback) Mako
They took a serious look at our
profiles and qualifying skits,
SIGN Special Blog
SIGN Mako
SIGN The Out-of-
Place Influencer
SIGN Saeka
SIGN The Enchanting
Tea Girl, Buying
Out the World
SIGN Hikari
SIGN Japanese
Candy Princess
[16:58] (Flashback) Mako
and summarized our different
characteristics.
[17:01] (Flashback) Hikari
We look like real entertainers!
[17:02] (Flashback) Mako
Takako-so has gotten a ton of attention
since that documentary, too.
[17:06] (Flashback) Mako
Don't you think it's cool? Saeka's, too.
[17:10] (Flashback) Saeka
"The Enchanting Tea Girl,
Buying Out the World"?
[17:13] (Flashback) Hikari
That sounds like you.
[17:14] (Flashback) Saeka
It calls you the "Out-of-Place Influencer."
[17:18] (Flashback) Mako
I g-guess that makes sense.
[17:21] (Flashback) Saeka
And Hikari, the "Japanese Candy Princess."
SIGN Hikari
SIGN Japanese Candy Princess
[17:25] (Flashback) Mako
Isn't yours a little weak?
[17:27] (Flashback) Saeka
You're right.
[17:28] (Flashback) Saeka
Like they ran out of ideas, or only
spent two seconds thinking about it.
[17:32] (Flashback) Hikari
Definitely.
[17:33] (Flashback) Mako
Don't just agree! Do you
know what this means?
[17:36] (Flashback) Mako
It means you lack character!
[17:38] (Flashback) Saeka
Lacking character... That is
a significant problem.
[17:42] (Flashback) Hikari
Is it?
[17:43] (Flashback) Mako
If we don't do something about it,
you'll become the odd one out.
[17:46] (Flashback) Saeka
That would be terrible.
[17:48] (Flashback) Hikari
Would it?
SIGN Crêpes
SIGN Chilled Pineapple
SIGN Fancy
SIGN Takoyaki
SIGN Fancy
[17:49] (Flashback) Hikari
And so they said I should talk with the other
"weak characters" and try to find a solution.
[17:55] (Flashback) Hikari
Hey, what do you think?
[17:57] (Flashback) Hikari
Personally, I don't agree, but you know...
SIGN Fancy
SIGN Fancy
SIGN Takoyaki
SIGN Fancy
SIGN Fancy
SIGN Takoyaki
[18:00] (Flashback) Chihori
Sorry! Gotta go!
[18:02] (Flashback) Hikari
Huh? Chihori-chan?
[18:04] (Flashback) Saeka
She up and left.
[18:06] (Flashback) Mako
Now she's the oddest odd one out.
[18:10] (Flashback) Hikari
But what can I do about my character?
[18:11] (Flashback) Saeka
There's no other choice.
You'll have to start studying, Hikari.
[18:15] (Flashback) Mako
Studying?
[18:16] (Flashback) Saeka
There's an Akashic Records Research
Club at my father's company.
[18:21] (Flashback) Saeka
We can ask them for help.
[18:23] (Flashback) Hikari
What kind of club is that?
[18:24] (Flashback) Mako
You mean, ask them to help
Hikari develop a character?
[18:26] (Flashback) Saeka
Yes. The Akashic records are supposed to be
[18:29] (Flashback) Saeka
where all past and future
events have been documented.
[18:32] (Flashback) Saeka
With their help, you should
be able to develop
[18:35] (Flashback) Saeka
a character as a time traveler.
[18:38] Hikari
I'm from the future!
SIGN Akashic Records
[18:39] Hikari
So I know everything that
will happen in the future!
[18:43] Girls
Huh?
[18:44] Yomogi
The future?
[18:45] Yuzu
Wow!
[18:46] Chihori
H-Hey, I'm actually a space alien, you know.
[18:49] Mone
Save your bit for later.
[18:51] Mone
A time traveler? Cool!
[18:53] Chihori
But this isn't a bit...
[18:55] Yuina
Do you know everything?
[18:56] Chihori
Um, I'm literally a space alien!
[18:59] Mone
Yeah, whatever. Later.
[19:02] Miyu
Time travelers are so cool!
[19:04] Miyu
So do you know what'll happen to Ibaraki?
[19:06] Hikari
In 3,000 years, Ibaraki will
become a sovereign nation.
[19:09] Miyu
Ooh!
[19:09] Misao
No way!
[19:10] Yayoi
Hey, what will okonomiyaki
be like in the future?
[19:13] Hikari
It'll have octopus inside.
[19:14] Yomogi
That doesn't count.
[19:16] Kana
Oh, does that mean you know who'll
win the Teppen Grand Prix too?
[19:20] Hikari
Sorry, civilization was destroyed once,
and that part of the history was lost.
[19:24] Chitose
But that's the most important part!
[19:26] Seiji
All right, who did this?!
[19:28] Seiji
Who dug this hole in the lawn?
[19:30] Yayoi
Okay, then do you know what color
apron the manager is wearing today?
[19:34] Hikari
Today, it's pink!
[19:36] All
Let's check!
[19:38] All
Huh?
[19:40] Yomogi
Rainbow!
[19:43] Hikari
I guess this time traveler
character has its limits.
[19:45] Saeka
It seems so.
[19:47] Saeka
The Akashic Records Research Club
notebook also seems to lack credibility.
SIGN Akashic Records
SIGN For Beginners
[19:52] Yayoi
Huh? So it was all a lie?
[19:54] Hikari
Sorry, I wanted to add to my character.
[19:57] Kana
Aw, shucks.
[19:58] Miyu
Character, huh?
[19:59] Hina
I knew it'd be something like that.
[20:01] Chihori
Um, hey!
[20:03] Chihori
I am actually a space alien!
[20:09] Chihori
I'm... from space.
[20:11] Mone
Fine, fine, enough character bits.
[20:13] Mone
This isn't the time for a silly setup.
[20:15] Chihori
Oh, why not?! Come on!
[20:24] Mone
Oh. It lit up.
[20:25] Mother
Oh! Is that...?
[20:27] Mother
It must be! The universally recognized...
[20:31] Mother
Light of Friendship!
[20:34] Chihori
We shouldn't fight! Let's all be friends.
[20:38] Chihori
Here, as a sign of trust.
[20:40] Yuina
I, Jupitris Naru-Naru Neiji Yuina,
hereby make a pledge of peace.
[20:43] Mone
Wide open!
[20:46] Chihori
Galactic war has begun! But whatever.
[20:49] All three
Thank you very much!
[20:52] Yomogi
They're always all over the place.
[20:54] Yayoi
They don't have a tsukkomi
to keep them in line.
[20:59] Chihori
Are you sure it's all right?
[21:01] Mother
Yes, now that I've seen that light.
[21:04] Chihori
Oh, okay.
[21:05] Mother
It's decided now, so do all you can to
succeed in your efforts on this planet.
[21:09] Chihori
Yeah. You should visit
in person sometime, Mother.
[21:13] Chihori
I really think you'd start
to like this planet.
[21:16] Mother
I'll think about it.
[21:17] Chihori
By the way, what will you
do with that avatar?
[21:20] Mother
Don't worry. It will
automatically self-destruct.
[21:32] Mother
The avatar is taken care of.
All ships, return to base.
[21:37] Subordinate
But... are you sure?
[21:39] Mother
Yes. We can't annihilate
my daughter's friends.
[21:44] Subordinate
Very well. All ships, cease invasion!
[21:53] Chihori
See you, Mother.
[21:55] Yuina
Chihori, what are you looking at?
[21:57] Mone
Huh? Is that...
[21:59] Yuina
A UFO?
[22:00] Yuina
No way!
[22:01] Mone
It can't be.
[22:03] Chihori
I know, right?
[22:05] [SONG] Lead
Go! We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
[22:09] [SONG] back
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
[22:16] [SONG] lead
Hi! Hi! Hello! Let's get
on with the show today.
[22:19] [SONG] lead
We've just got four minutes, but we
hope you hear everything that we say.
[22:22] [SONG] back
Hey there cutie, hey there cutie,
didn't even miss a beat there, cutie.
[22:24] [SONG] lead
We hope you enjoy the show today.
[22:27] [SONG] lead
Here at home with you, in your living room,
we'll put a twinkle into your eyes.
[22:33] [SONG] lead
We've all dreamed to see if we could be
on a stage so free. Now it's a reality!
[22:42] [SONG] lead
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
[22:45] [SONG] lead
It's all good when we're laughing together.
[22:48] [SONG] lead
If we bomb, slip, even if we cry,
so what! That's still part of our destiny.
[22:53] [SONG] lead
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
[22:56] [SONG] lead
We'll hit it big if we
keep laughing together.
[22:59] [SONG] lead
We never knew that life
could ever be like this,
[23:02] [SONG] lead
and now that we're going, you know
there's no way we'll ever stop!
[23:05] [SONG] lead
We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
[23:09] [SONG] back
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
[23:10] [SONG] lead
All of our searching, all of our
training is fading out into the past.
[23:16] [SONG] lead
But to us now, those memories
will always be so precious.
[23:22] [SONG] lead
All of the tears, all of the pain,
rewriting life with our own words.
[23:27] [SONG] lead
We want to laugh it all away with you,
right up to the end. And that's a wrap!
SIGN The Piñata Chapter
E10 - The Piñata Chapter
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:03] Miyu
Hi, everyone!
[00:04] All three
We're Akudare Kingdom!
[00:06] Miyu
Love saves Ibaraki!
[00:08] Misao
You're still aiming too low!
[00:10] Hina
She's right. We aren't even sure if
Ibaraki will still exist next year.
[00:15] Misao
Of course we are!
[00:17] Misao
How do you expect an entire
prefecture to get annihilated?
[00:20] Miyu
Even if it does get annihilated,
it'll keep coming back to life.
[00:23] Miyu
'Cause in Ibaraki,
[00:25] Miyu
every day is Happy Birthday!
[00:28] [SONG] all
Yeah!
[00:28] [SONG] Yomogi
So, what's comedy?
[00:29] [SONG] Yayoi
Yo!
[00:30] [SONG] Yuzu
Tough question, for me
[00:31] [SONG] Yayoi
What could it be?
It's too far out to see!
[00:32] [SONG] Yuzu & Yomogi
Be! See!
[00:33] [SONG] Yomogi
Boke and tsukkomi, in the zone
[00:33] [SONG] Yayoi
Ye ye, in the zone!
[00:35] [SONG] Yuzu
We got god-tier jokes on the horizon
[00:35] [SONG] Yayoi & Yomogi
God! Horizon!
[00:37] [SONG] Kana
Wanna see us split into bunshin
[00:37] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Yeah!
[00:38] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Bullets!
[00:38] [SONG] Kana
And hear gags flying at you like bullets?
[00:40] [SONG] Kana
Leave it to comedy ninjas!
[00:41] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Nin-nin!
[00:41] [SONG] Saeka
High society, celebrity
[00:41] [SONG] Hikari & Mako
High! Celebrity!
[00:43] [SONG] Saeka
The cleanest jokes are our priority
[00:44] [SONG] Hikari & Mako
Priority!
[00:46] [SONG] Miyu
Yeah, Akudare, making you all laugh
[00:46] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Yeah!
[00:47] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Ah! Ah!
[00:48] [SONG] Miyu
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back
[00:48] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back!
[00:50] [SONG] Yuina
We. Are. The. Invaders. Yo.
[00:51] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
Ah Invaders
[00:52] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
That should tell you all you need to know
[00:53] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
Need to know!
[00:54] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Yeah!
[00:54] [SONG] Yuzu
Shake it up, Wai-Wai!
[00:54] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Wai-Wai!
[00:55] [SONG] Yomogi
Heat up the timeline!
[00:55] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Timeline!
[00:56] [SONG] Yayoi
Scramble for the win,
we won't give up our pride
[00:58] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Pride!
[00:59] [SONG] Yomogi
Found a new line
[00:59] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Oh!
[00:59] [SONG] Yuzu
Gonna sweep the prime time
[01:00] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Oh!
[01:00] [SONG] Yayoi
Who's on top then?
[01:02] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Gotta take the Teppen!
[01:02] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina
Take it to the top
[01:04] [SONG] all call
Doin' it for real!
[01:05] [SONG] Kana; Saeka
We'll show you, giving everything
we got, oh yeah
[01:06] [SONG] all call
Oh yeah
[01:07] [SONG] Miyu; Yuina
Gonna face the challenge head-on
[01:07] [SONG] all call
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
[01:09] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina
Running straight ahead
[01:09] [SONG] all call
Yo! Yo! Yo!
[01:11] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai
Take it to the top
[01:11] [SONG] all call
Yeah that's right!
[01:13] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai
It's show
[01:14] [SONG] Yomogi
Don't slow down to hear them
call you funny, not a day
[01:16] [SONG] Yuzu
You'll never reach the top that way
[01:16] [SONG] all call
Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh yeah!
[01:18] [SONG] Yayoi
You know it's true, what we say
[01:20] [SONG] all call
Hey!
[01:21] [SONG] all sing
But this isn't about us just getting a laugh
[01:24] [SONG] all call
Yeah! Yeah!
[01:27] [SONG] all sing
That's not why we're here
It's much bigger, bigger than all that
[01:30] [SONG] all call
All that
[01:31] [SONG] all sing
We want to get
[01:31] [SONG] all call
We want to get, yeah!
[01:34] [SONG] all sing
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
[01:34] [SONG] all call
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
[01:39] [SONG] all sing
Yeah if we are the ones
that are making you laugh
[01:39] [SONG] all call
Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye!
[01:44] [SONG] all sing
We gotta go so hard it'll really,
really give us that, you know?
[01:48] [SONG] all sing
Top of the laugh
[01:48] [SONG] all call
Top of the laugh Ye~ah!
[01:51] [SONG] all sing
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way.
We're gonna make it to the top one day!
[01:51] [SONG] all call
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way,
oh! We're gonna make it to the top one day!
[01:56] [SONG] Yayoi
Aw yeah!
SIGN The Piñata Chapter
[02:06] Mako
So, to tell the truth, today is my birthday.
[02:10] Mako
Happy Birthday to me.
[02:13] Mako
A wonderful day of all-I-can-mooch
that only comes once a year.
SIGN Room Four
Akudare Kingdom
[02:21] Mako
I want a sweet,
yummy birthday cake and presents.
[02:25] Mako
Especially presents,
[02:27] Mako
since the more friends I have,
the more presents I can expect.
[02:31] Mako
Friends are justice in the birthday system.
[02:34] Mako
I'm living here with everyone this year,
[02:37] Mako
so I'm in an unusually advantageous
position to enjoy my birthday.
[02:41] Mako
But wait!
[02:43] Mako
On last year's birthday, to get presents,
SIGN It's been ages! You good? You know today's my birthday, right? lol
[02:46] Mako
I sent messages to every
single one of my friends
SIGN Hey there!!
You know what day it is?
Hurray! It is my birthday.
[02:48] Mako
and then Saeka and Hikari
found out, and then they said,
[02:51] (Flashback) Hikari
Isn't that rather uncouth?
[02:53] Mako
I'll never forget that word!
[02:56] Mako
I don't want them to think of me like that!
SIGN Bullet Kunoichi
SIGN Edit Profile
SIGN Hi there! I'm living in Takako-so as part of the comedy trio Bullet Kunoichi.
I always wanted to start a Waratter account, so here I am!
Let's be friends!
[02:58] Kana
Today's my birthday.
[03:00] Kana
Today, I can eat all the cake
and get all the presents.
[03:04] Kana
It's the best login bonus ever!
[03:08] Kana
My birthday comes during summer vacation,
SIGN We asked people whose birthdays fall on vacations
and holidays. Have you ever missed out?
SIGN Yes
SIGN Yes (78%)
SIGN I don't know
SIGN I don't know (13%)
SIGN No
SIGN No (7%)
SIGN I am a god
SIGN I am a god (2%)
[03:11] Kana
so I usually don't have
a chance to celebrate.
[03:13] Kana
But this year, I'm here at
Takako-so with everyone.
[03:16] Kana
Counting the manager, I could
potentially get fifteen presents!
[03:22] Kana
However!
SIGN TV SHOPPING
[03:24] (Flashback) Kana
My birthday is next week!
[03:27] (Flashback) Kana
My birthday's next week!
[03:29] (Flashback) Kana
You gotta be birthday!
Are you seriously birthday?
[03:31] (Flashback) Kana
What the heck are you, birthday?
[03:33] (Flashback) Chitose
Aw, shut up!
[03:35] (Flashback) Chitose
The next time you say "birthday,"
I'm gonna dump you in the Dotonbori Canal!
[03:40] Kana
I don't wanna be a mermaid at
the bottom of the Dotonbori Canal!
[03:43] Mako
They'll hate me if I bug them
directly about my birthday.
[03:47] Mako
But if...
[03:49] Kana
I just don't use the word "birthday,"
it should be okay, right?
SIGN Edit Profile
[03:54] Mako
On Waratter, when it's your birthday,
balloons float up the screen.
[03:57] Mako
Do I show them?
[03:59] Kana
Maybe I can act surprised and
say, "Oh, look! Balloons!"
SIGN Edit Profile
[04:02] Mako
Then I can bug them about my birthday
without ever actually saying "birthday."
[04:06] Kana
And that's how I'll get
fifteen presents this year!
[04:10] Mako
Thanks, Waratter!
[04:12] Kana
Piece of cake!
[04:15] Mako
Hey, hey, guys!
[04:16] Misao
Huh. Now I've seen everything.
[04:20] Announcer
A new problem is facing
today's youth—balloon harassment.
SIGN A NEW PROBLEM FACING YOUTH
SIGN BALLOON HARASSMENT
[04:24] Announcer
When Waratter users take
advantage of the balloons
SIGN I got balloons yo
[04:27] Announcer
that appear on their birthday to try to
get attention, this is what it is called.
[04:32] Announcer
By writing a vague post like,
"the balloons have flown,"
SIGN Congrats!
[04:35] Announcer
they make their friends feel
intimidated into celebrating.
[04:38] Announcer
"It is my birthday! You know
that it is! Take a hint!"
[04:42] Announcer
is reportedly what it feels like to the
friends who feel they are being coerced.
[04:46] Announcer
It is a new form of harassment
born in the age of social media.
[04:53] Mako
Balloon harassment?!
[04:55] Kana
I've never heard of that before!
[04:58] Misao
Huh? What's wrong with you two?
[05:00] Miyu
Oh, a funny video? Show me too!
[05:04] Kana
Oh! Take this!
[05:08] Miyu
What's wrong?
[05:09] Kana
I saw a bug on the floor.
[05:11] Miyu
You didn't have to smash
it with your phone, though!
[05:16] Yomogi
Mako-chan, what the heck?
[05:19] Mako
Oh, I'm just hungry.
[05:21] Misao
That doesn't mean you should eat your phone!
[05:23] Misao
Talk about an appetite for destruction!
[05:26] Mako
That was close!
[05:28] Mako
I thought they might see it,
so I instinctively chomped down!
[05:32] Mako
But there's more than one way
to get birthday attention.
[05:36] Mako
Golly! What's a pen doing here?
[05:41] Mako
There's only one kind of calendar
icon you use on birthdays.
[05:45] Mako
A birthday cake!
[05:47] Mako
If I draw one, they should realize
it's someone's birthday.
[05:50] Mako
Yeah, this definitely doesn't look
like I'm begging for attention.
[05:56] Kana
What is she up to?
[05:59] Mako
It's done!
[06:01] Mako
Wait... is that what a
birthday cake looks like?
[06:03] Mako
Whatever. It's close enough
for them to get it.
[06:07] Mako
Now I just wait for someone
to notice my drawing.
[06:11] Misao
Oh!
[06:11] Mako
It's time.
[06:12] Miyu
What's wrong, Misao?
[06:14] Misao
This drawing... is it one of those?
SIGN IT APPEARS AGAIN!
SIGN THE HORNGRY DONUT MONSTER
[06:17] Announcer
The legendary Horngry Donut monster
has reportedly appeared again.
[06:21] Mako
What's a Horngry Donut monster?
[06:23] Announcer
As per its name, the Horngry Donut monster
is a horned, hangry, donut-like monster.
[06:29] Announcer
Despite its adorable appearance, it is said
to be an American police officer inside.
[06:34] Mako
I mean, they do say American police
officers go crazy for donuts.
[06:39] Miyu
Yeah, this is totally the
Horngry Donut monster.
[06:42] Yomogi
But why draw the Horngry
Donut icon on today's date?
[06:46] Misao
You drew this, right, Mako?
[06:48] Mako
Huh?!
[06:49] Misao
Weren't you drawing something a second ago?
[06:52] Mako
I-I just had this feeling that the Horngry
Donut monster might appear today.
[06:56] Miyu
Just a prediction? Jeez.
[06:58] Yomogi
Yeah, a prediction.
[07:00] Mako
Oh, that was close. I think I fooled them.
[07:03] Mako
Kana-chan?
[07:06] Kana
Hi, Ma! It's been a while.
SIGN Ma
SIGN In Call
SIGN Mute
SIGN Speaker
SIGN Selected
[07:08] Ma
What's goin' on? You never call like this.
[07:12] Kana
I guess I just wanted
to hear your voice, Ma.
[07:15] Kana
Ma obviously knows that
today is my birthday.
[07:19] Kana
If she says "Happy Birthday"
normally while we're talking,
[07:22] Kana
then I can't be blamed for bringing it up.
[07:25] Kana
Because Ma will have said it.
[07:27] Kana
I'll still be innocent.
[07:30] Miyu
Kana's mom has a really pretty voice.
[07:32] Misao
You shouldn't listen in
on people's phone calls.
[07:35] Kana
So, Ma, don't you have something to tell me?
[07:39] Ma
Oh. Uh, yeah, you're right. Actually, Kana...
[07:43] Kana
Yeah?
[07:44] Ma
It's Pa.
[07:45] Ma
He left me.
[07:47] Kana
Huh?!
[07:48] Kana
What are you talking about, Ma?
What do you mean?
[07:51] Ma
I mean exactly what I said.
[07:53] Yomogi
We can't hear anything.
We didn't hear a thing.
[07:56] Ma
I think I was too hard on him yesterday.
[07:59] Kana
Are you okay?
[08:01] Ma
S-Sure. I'm okay. I'll get in
touch again if anything happens.
[08:04] Ma
Sorry, Kana. Today of all days...
[08:07] Kana
Don't worry about it!
I mean, try to cheer up, Ma.
SIGN Ma
SIGN In Call
SIGN Selected
SIGN Mute
SIGN Speaker
SIGN Call Time
[08:15] Kana
That isn't what I expected!
[08:17] Misao
Kana, if there's anything we
can do to help, just ask.
[08:21] Miyu
We're on your side, Kana!
[08:24] Kana
Th-Thanks.
[08:27] Kana
A huge miscalculation. Why'd she
have to tell me such shocking news?
[08:33] Mako
"Today of all days"?
[08:34] Mako
I'm sure that's what she said.
[08:37] Kana
Mako-chan drew that? Is it
really a Horngry Donut?
[08:41] Kana
When it's on a calendar like that...
[08:44] Kana
Huh? No way!
[08:46] Mako
Come to think of it, she reacted the same
way I did to the balloon harassment story.
[08:51] Mako
Does that mean it's also Kana-chan's...
[08:53] Kana
It's also Mako-chan's...
[08:54] Mako & Kana
...birthday today?!
[08:56] Kana
But if it is, why hasn't
she said so herself?
[09:00] Mako
Does Kana-chan have some reason
to keep quiet, just like me?
[09:03] Mako
If she does, I can't be the one to
point out that it's her birthday.
[09:08] Mako
The reason is...
[09:09] Kana
If I point out that it's Mako-chan's birthday,
I'll have to give her a present.
[09:14] Kana
I totally want to celebrate,
[09:15] Kana
but if I give her a present without getting
one first, I'll feel like a loser. No thanks!
[09:20] Mako
I totally want to celebrate,
[09:22] Mako
but it's too bad, because I don't
have any money to buy a present.
[09:25] Kana
I still want my presents, though!
[09:28] Kana
Including one from Mako-chan, of course.
[09:29] Mako
I'll get a present without giving one.
[09:32] Mako
I'll keep pretending I didn't
realize it's Kana-chan's birthday.
[09:36] Kana
Do I have to make her
realize it's my birthday?
[09:40] Mako
This is the start of a
battle that I can't lose!
[09:44] Kana
It's a death match. A life or
death battle for presents.
[09:49] Mako
En garde, Kana-chan.
[09:51] Mako
I'll make sure that you...
[09:53] Kana
Mako-chan, I'm gonna make you...
[09:57] Mako & Kana
give me a present!
SIGN Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[10:05] Miyu
An official Waratter account?
[10:07] Misao
Yeah, for Akudare.
[10:09] Misao
Hina said we should make one.
[10:11] Misao
Or maybe she already did?
[10:14] Miyu
I don't get that stuff,
so I'll let you guys handle it.
[10:16] Miyu
But how about we make an official
Waratter account for Komon-sama?
[10:20] Misao
That'd be unofficial.
[10:23] Kana
Hey! Hey! Look at what I just made.
SIGN Name: Kiyotsuru Kana DOB Aug. 10
Address: Takako-so
Valid: Forever
Licenses:
Class: Medium Moped
[10:29] Miyu
A potato stamp? I made those
all the time as a kid.
[10:32] Yomogi
Why a license, though?
[10:34] Kana
The world is so picky about
rules and rights, right?
[10:37] Kana
But I thought it'd be okay
to make my own license card.
[10:40] Kana
Even though I don't
have a real license.
[10:43] Mako
Oh! There!
SIGN DOB Aug. 10
[10:46] Kana
Heh. It looks like Mako-chan noticed.
[10:48] Kana
License cards include personal information.
[10:52] Kana
Yes, including one's birthday!
[10:54] Mako
She shoved her birthday
in front of us so boldly.
[10:58] Mako
This is bad! If anyone else
notices the date on the license,
[11:01] Mako
Kana-chan's birthday will
be public knowledge!
[11:04] Kana
I knew this day would come.
[11:06] Kana
Good thing I took that course
in potato stamping!
[11:09] ---
I've won this one, Mako-chan.
[11:11] Miyu
Kana, you seein' this?
[11:13] Kana
Got 'em!
SIGN License
[11:14] Miyu
If you look close, your face
looks just like Suzuki-sensei.
[11:17] Kana
Who?!
[11:18] Misao
Huh? Are you sure?
[11:20] Yomogi
Who's Suzuki-sensei?
[11:22] Miyu
The art teacher from our high school.
The resemblance is uncanny!
[11:26] Miyu
See? Add a little here, and...
[11:29] Kana
Hey! Don't!
[11:30] Miyu
See?
SIGN Name: Kiyotsuru Kana DOB Aug. 10
Address: Takako-so
Valid: Forever
Licenses:
Class: Medium Moped
SIGN Licenses:
[11:32] Yomogi
Wait, it's a male teacher?
[11:34] Misao
Yeah, in that case, I think it
looks more like Kato-sensei.
[11:38] Misao
Give it here.
[11:40] Kana
Hey, come on...
[11:41] Misao
There! It's Kato-sensei!
SIGN Licenses:
[11:43] Miyu
Oh. Now that you mention it, yeah.
[11:45] Yomogi
But that's so weird.
[11:46] Yomogi
How can there be two different people
[11:48] Yomogi
with the same base head as
Kana-chan at the same school?
[11:51] Miyu
Now, check this out!
[11:53] Kana
Could you guys stop?
[11:55] Miyu
Doesn't it look exactly like
Macaronita-sensei now?
[11:58] Yomogi
Macaronita isn't even human!
[12:00] Misao
Macaronita-sensei is a craftsman too,
so of course he has wings.
[12:05] Kana
Yeah, um, instead of that,
could you look a little closer?
[12:09] Misao
With a few more tweaks, doesn't it look like
the science teacher, Yanagita-sensei?
[12:12] Yomogi
How many people are at your school
are modeled after Kana-chan?
[12:15] Misao
Give it here.
[12:16] Miyu
Hey, wait! If you're doing that,
I wanna add a catapult deck.
[12:22] Misao
Ooh!
[12:22] Miyu
Wow!
[12:24] Miyu
Oh, dang. Sorry.
[12:25] Misao
Sorry. I felt like a kid again.
[12:28] Kana
I-It's okay. Don't worry about it.
[12:32] Kana
The fruit of all my work...
[12:34] Mako
Well, that's too bad, Kana-chan.
[12:37] Mako
Want a sauce senbei cracker?
[12:38] Kana
Yeah! I'd love one!
[12:40] Mako
I made a bunch, so help yourself.
[12:42] Kana
Really? Thanks!
[12:45] Kana
D-Did you...?
[12:48] Kana
She got me!
[12:49] Kana
She finished such high-quality sauce
senbei while I made my potato stamp!
[12:54] Kana
And she's actually good at drawing!
What was up with that Horngry Donut?
[12:59] Mako
Well, I suppose now I have won, Kana-chan.
[13:03] Yayoi
We're home!
[13:04] Yomogi
Welcome back. Did you get what I asked for?
[13:07] Yayoi
I forgot what you wanted, so I just
bought tons of snacks instead.
[13:12] Yomogi
You did what?
[13:13] Yomogi
You've got the self-control
of an elementary schooler.
[13:16] Yuzu
I'm sorry. I should have checked
with you before we left.
[13:20] Yayoi
It's okay. You know, they say
there's a snack for everything.
[13:24] Yomogi
No, they don't!
[13:25] Yayoi
Oh! Those sauce senbei look delicious!
[13:27] Yayoi
Can I have one?
[13:28] Misao
Sure, go ahead.
[13:29] Yayoi
Thank you!
[13:32] Mako
Hey, wait!
[13:35] Yuzu
Me too. Thank you!
[13:39] Yayoi
I sure get hungry after doing hard work.
[13:41] Yomogi
You're supposed to say that after
you've actually finished your job.
[13:45] Yomogi
You don't have the right to
be that hungry, Yayoi.
[13:47] Yayoi
"Even one who is not yet done
shall become hungry."
[13:51] Yayoi
We are human, after all!
[13:53] Yomogi
You ain't reciting proverbs.
[13:56] Mako
Um, hey...
[13:57] Yayoi
Oh, sorry. Were those for you, Mako-chan?
[14:00] Mako
Well, not exactly.
[14:03] Mako
That was my masterpiece!
[14:06] Yayoi
Kana-chan!
[14:07] Kana
Huh?
[14:08] Yayoi
Did you get a manicure? How pretty!
[14:11] Kana
I did it myself. How's it look?
[14:14] Miyu
It's so cool that you did it yourself!
[14:16] Miyu
I like 'em more weaponized, though.
[14:19] Misao
You're totally thinkin' of the guy with
bladed gloves who slices people up.
[14:23] Mako
Oh, wow! Let me look, too!
[14:26] Kana
Sure.
[14:27] Mako
Wha—!
[14:29] Mako
She's using her manicure?!
[14:31] Kana
Just as planned.
[14:34] Mako
I can't believe she wrote it
on every single fingernail!
[14:40] Yomogi
This is pretty good!
SIGN Squid Ink
[14:43] Yayoi
Right? Aren't they yummy?
[14:46] Yayoi
They're deep squid ink chips.
SIGN Deep Squid Ink Chips
[14:48] Yayoi
They look kinda weird,
but one bite and you're hooked.
[14:51] Kana
Are they that good? Can I have some?
[14:53] Yomogi
Sure.
[14:58] Kana
Whoa! What a unique texture!
[15:01] Yayoi
I know, right?
[15:02] Yayoi
You can't blame me for buying these up
when I forgot what I was shopping for.
[15:10] Yuzu
But those chips have one
unfortunate side effect.
[15:14] Yuzu
They stick to your fingers.
[15:16] Kana
Huh?
[15:17] Yayoi
Even if you wash your hands,
it doesn't come off.
[15:19] Yuzu
Not for three days.
[15:22] Kana
Oh, dang!
[15:24] Mako
Phew! I'm in the clear.
[15:26] Mako
Perfect timing, too. It won't seem weird
if I say I didn't see the message on her nails.
[15:31] Mako
But Kana-chan is one tough opponent.
[15:33] Mako
At this point, I might have
to play my trump card.
[15:37] Mako
Sorry! I think I forgot to do something.
[15:39] Yayoi
Okay. See you later.
[15:42] Misao
By the way, where's Hina?
[15:44] Miyu
No idea. Probably out
selling natto somewhere.
[15:47] Yomogi
It really doesn't come off.
[15:49] Yayoi
Last time, I got it all around my mouth,
and it looked like I grew a beard!
[15:54] Yuina
Oh, everyone's here. What's going on?
[15:57] Miyu
Ready to get inked up all shiny black?
[15:59] Mone
All of a sudden? No way.
[16:01] Misao
It's black, but you won't shine.
[16:12] Everyone
What is that?
[16:17] Yomogi
It's getting closer!
[16:18] Yayoi
Is it looking for food?
[16:20] Yuzu
Are we gonna be its dinner?
[16:22] Misao
Quit tryin' to freak me out!
[16:24] Mone
Is this one of those piñata things?
[16:27] Yuzu
Oh. Like the dolls with
candy and stuff inside?
[16:30] Yuzu
And when you break them, it all comes out?
[16:32] Miyu
Kind of a horse-shaped confetti ball?
[16:35] Yuina
Looks about right. They come
in all shapes and sizes.
[16:39] Chihori
Huh. Like a coming-of-age ceremony on Mars.
[16:46] Mako
Yes, that's right. This is a piñata.
[16:48] Mako
And it's stuffed full of birthday cards.
SIGN Happy Birthday
[16:53] Mako
When it breaks and the
cards all spill out with me,
[16:57] Mako
everyone should realize it's my birthday.
[17:00] Mako
I'm glad I made it as a last resort,
but I never thought I'd be forced to use it.
[17:05] Yomogi
So we have to break it?
[17:07] Miyu
Misao, use those trademark
iron fists of yours!
[17:10] Misao
Don't make it sound like
violence is my gimmick!
[17:19] All
What is it this time?
[17:23] Miyu
Another one of those piñatas?
[17:26] Yuzu
I think so, but...
[17:28] Yomogi
I don't know. It looks like it's made
for something other than celebration.
[17:33] Mako
Could that be Kana-chan?
[17:37] Kana
Another miscalculation!
[17:38] Kana
I never thought I'd come up with
the same bit as Mako-chan.
[17:42] Miyu
What's happening?
[17:45] Mone
Oh, I get it. It's The Great Space Battle.
[17:48] Yuina
The Great Space Battle?
[17:51] Mone
The holy grail of sci-fi movies.
[17:53] Mone
A horse-shaped monster battles
the giant life form known
[17:57] Mone
as the Star Fairy to determine
the fate of the universe.
[18:00] Mone
I bet they're trying to
reenact a scene from that.
[18:04] Kana
No, we aren't!
[18:05] Misao
Huh. This is gonna be good.
Show us what you got!
[18:09] Mako
Quit telling us what to do!
[18:11] Kana
But this might work.
[18:13] Kana
It doesn't look like anyone is gonna
bust us open. But if we fight...
[18:18] Mako
If I smash into Kana-chan and break
open before she does, I win!
[18:22] Mako
All right. Let's have at it!
[18:35] Mako
The shell is too tough!
[18:37] Kana
It just isn't breaking! I'm so tired.
[18:42] Yomogi
How long are they gonna do this?
[18:44] Misao
Wait a minute. Isn't this...
[18:48] Misao
The one and only Horngry Donut?!
[18:51] Yomogi
I never thought the famous
monster would show up here.
[18:54] Miyu
Thank goodness.
[18:55] Misao
For what?
[18:58] Miyu
Oh, Hina. You got here at the right time.
[19:02] Miyu
Wh-What's wrong, Hina?
[19:04] Hina
Hey. I got the balloons.
[19:06] Miyu
Balloons?
[19:07] Hina
You didn't check Waratter?
[19:10] Kana
That's balloon harassment!
[19:12] Mako
You can't say things like
that to get attention!
[19:14] Hina
Huh?
[19:15] Hina
What's wrong with wanting people to
celebrate your happy occasion?
[19:20] Mako & Kana
She isn't wrong.
[19:21] Misao
What? Wait a minute.
[19:22] Misao
Your birthday isn't today, is it, Hina?
[19:25] Miyu
Yeah! Yeah! We'd never forget
our friend's birthday.
[19:29] Hina
Not me. Today is Akudare Kingdom's birthday.
[19:32] Hina
It's our one-year anniversary.
[19:34] Miyu
Huh?
[19:35] Hina
I didn't think anyone would be
interested in jokes about Ibaraki.
[19:39] Hina
I actually thought Akudare
would have split up by now.
[19:43] Hina
But we did our best and
made it through the year.
[19:46] Hina
So I really wanted to celebrate
our one-year anniversary.
[19:53] Hina
Both of you forgot that
today's the anniversary!
[19:56] Hina
Even after I started an official Waratter
account just to make you remember.
SIGN Using Waratter since August 10
SIGN Edit Profile
SIGN Akudare Kingdom (Official)
SIGN Takako-so Rm. 204
[19:59] Hina
Even then, you didn't notice! You blockheads!
[20:03] Misao
Then you should have just told us!
[20:06] Hina
And look like I was the only one
who cared? It'd be embarrassing!
[20:11] Hina
What kind of person can't
remember special days?
[20:13] Miyu
I do remember!
[20:16] Miyu
Yesterday was Suzuki-sensei's birthday,
[20:18] Miyu
tomorrow is Kato-sensei's birthday,
[20:21] Miyu
and the day after tomorrow is Ibaraki natto
craftsman Macaronita-sensei's birthday!
[20:25] Miyu
In Ibaraki, every day is a special day!
[20:28] Misao
That doesn't make any sense.
[20:30] Misao
That's enough.
[20:31] All three
Thank you very much!
[20:35] Yomogi
What's that?
[20:37] Saeka
Hi, everybody.
[20:38] Saeka
It's all ready!
[20:40] Mako
Huh? What is?
SIGN Mako & Kana
Happy Birthday!
SIGN Akudare Kingdom too!!
[20:49] Iroha
Here's our present for you.
[20:51] Chitose
We spent a whole day practicing at Yomogi's
place and then made this ourselves.
[20:55] Chitose
Eat as much as you want!
[20:56] Kana
Wow! Thanks!
[20:58] Chitose
Hey, I'm glad things were
okay with your dad.
[21:01] Kana
Yeah. He got this idea to make
his middle-aged idol debut
[21:05] Kana
and was just out auditioning.
[21:07] Iroha
Exactly how I'd imagine your dad, Kana.
SIGN Ramen
SIGN T
A
I
W
A
N
SIGN Ramen
SIGN Brazilian
[21:10] Saeka
I brought the best Taiwan Ramen
chef on the East China Sea.
SIGN Ramen
SIGN T
A
I
W
A
N
SIGN Ramen
SIGN Brazilian
[21:15] Saeka
Eat as much as you like.
[21:17] Mako
Thank you!
[21:19] Hikari
I brought a bunch of my family's
candy, too. All-you-can-eat for today.
[21:22] Mako
Thank you too, Hikari!
[21:24] Mako
Good friends really are all you need!
[21:27] Saeka
By the way, Mako, we heard from the
others that you were quite persistent
[21:31] Saeka
in trying to get attention
regarding your birthday.
[21:34] Mako
Gulp!
[21:35] Hikari
Even after we warned you last year.
[21:37] Chitose
Kana, so were you.
[21:39] Kana
But! But! I didn't say the word "birthday"!
[21:42] Mako
Right! Right! We carefully avoided
using the word. Both of us.
[21:48] Mako & Kana
Right?
[21:49] Iroha
Avoiding one word doesn't make it okay!
[21:51] Iroha
What shall we do about this?
[21:53] Chitose
Dotonbori for the both of them?
SIGN Mako & Kana
Happy Birthday!
SIGN Akudare Kingdom too!!
[21:56] Saeka
Oh, what a lovely idea.
[21:58] Mako & Kana
F-F-Forgive us!
[22:05] [SONG] Lead
Go! We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
[22:09] [SONG] back
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
[22:16] [SONG] lead
Hi! Hi! Hello! Let's get
on with the show today.
[22:19] [SONG] lead
We've just got four minutes, but we
hope you hear everything that we say.
[22:22] [SONG] back
Hey there cutie, hey there cutie,
didn't even miss a beat there, cutie.
[22:24] [SONG] lead
We hope you enjoy the show today.
[22:27] [SONG] lead
Here at home with you, in your living room,
we'll put a twinkle into your eyes.
[22:33] [SONG] lead
We've all dreamed to see if we could be
on a stage so free. Now it's a reality!
[22:42] [SONG] lead
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
[22:45] [SONG] lead
It's all good when we're laughing together.
[22:48] [SONG] lead
If we bomb, slip, even if we cry,
so what! That's still part of our destiny.
[22:53] [SONG] lead
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
[22:56] [SONG] lead
We'll hit it big if we
keep laughing together.
[22:59] [SONG] lead
We never knew that life
could ever be like this,
[23:02] [SONG] lead
and now that we're going, you know
there's no way we'll ever stop!
[23:05] [SONG] lead
We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
[23:09] [SONG] back
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
[23:10] [SONG] lead
All of our searching, all of our
training is fading out into the past.
[23:16] [SONG] lead
But to us now, those memories
will always be so precious.
[23:22] [SONG] lead
All of the tears, all of the pain,
rewriting life with our own words.
[23:27] [SONG] lead
We want to laugh it all away with you,
right up to the end. And that's a wrap!
SIGN The Cattle Chapter
E11 - The Boss Battle Chapter
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:04] All three
Hello!
[00:05] Yayoi
I'm Yayoi.
[00:06] Yomogi
I'm Yomogi.
[00:08] Yuzu
I'm Yuzu.
[00:09] Yuzu
Y!
[00:09] Yayoi
Y!
[00:10] Yomogi
Y!
[00:10] All three
We're Young Wai-Wai!
[00:12] Yayoi
Time sure flies, doesn't it?
[00:14] Yomogi
For sure!
[00:16] Yayoi
It feels like the dinosaurs
went extinct just yesterday.
[00:18] Yomogi
Your memory goes back to
the Cretaceous Period?!
[00:21] Yomogi
What kind of dinosaur are you, anyway?
[00:23] Yuzu
Some people believe the dinosaurs moved
underground and didn't go extinct.
[00:27] Yuzu
You shouldn't jump to conclusions.
[00:28] Yuzu
What's with the disclaimer there?
[00:30] Yuzu
You think we'll get complaints from
the underground theory believers?
[00:34] Yuzu
But speaking of time, how about Takako-so?
[00:37] Yuzu
Our time there has gone by in a flash.
[00:39] Yayoi
So much has happened!
[00:42] [SONG] all
Yeah!
[00:42] [SONG] Yomogi
So, what's comedy?
[00:43] [SONG] Yayoi
Yo!
[00:44] [SONG] Yuzu
Tough question, for me
[00:45] [SONG] Yayoi
What could it be?
It's too far out to see!
[00:46] [SONG] Yuzu & Yomogi
Be! See!
[00:47] [SONG] Yomogi
Boke and tsukkomi, in the zone
[00:47] [SONG] Yayoi
Ye ye, in the zone!
[00:49] [SONG] Yuzu
We got god-tier jokes on the horizon
[00:49] [SONG] Yayoi & Yomogi
God! Horizon!
[00:51] [SONG] Kana
Wanna see us split into bunshin
[00:51] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Yeah!
[00:52] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Bullets!
[00:52] [SONG] Kana
And hear gags flying at you like bullets?
[00:54] [SONG] Kana
Leave it to comedy ninjas!
[00:55] [SONG] Iroha & Chitose
Nin-nin!
[00:55] [SONG] Saeka
High society, celebrity
[00:55] [SONG] Hikari & Mako
High! Celebrity!
[00:57] [SONG] Saeka
The cleanest jokes are our priority
[00:58] [SONG] Hikari & Mako
Priority!
[01:00] [SONG] Miyu
Yeah, Akudare, making you all laugh
[01:00] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Yeah!
[01:01] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Ah! Ah!
[01:02] [SONG] Miyu
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back
[01:02] [SONG] Hina & Misao
Conquerors from Earth to heaven and back!
[01:04] [SONG] Yuina
We. Are. The. Invaders. Yo.
[01:05] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
Ah Invaders
[01:06] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
That should tell you all you need to know
[01:07] [SONG] Chihori & Mone
Need to know!
[01:08] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Yeah!
[01:08] [SONG] Yuzu
Shake it up, Wai-Wai!
[01:08] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Wai-Wai!
[01:09] [SONG] Yomogi
Heat up the timeline!
[01:10] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Timeline!
[01:10] [SONG] Yayoi
Scramble for the win,
we won't give up our pride
[01:12] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Pride!
[01:13] [SONG] Yomogi
Found a new line
[01:13] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Oh!
[01:13] [SONG] Yuzu
Gonna sweep the prime time
[01:15] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Oh!
[01:15] [SONG] Yayoi
Who's on top then?
[01:16] [SONG] all Young Wai-Wai
Gotta take the Teppen!
[01:16] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina
Take it to the top
[01:18] [SONG] all call
Doin' it for real!
[01:19] [SONG] Kana; Saeka
We'll show you, giving everything
we got, oh yeah
[01:20] [SONG] all call
Oh yeah
[01:21] [SONG] Miyu; Yuina
Gonna face the challenge head-on
[01:21] [SONG] all call
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
[01:23] [SONG] Kana; Saeka; Miyu; Yuina
Running straight ahead
[01:23] [SONG] all call
Yo! Yo! Yo!
[01:25] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai
Take it to the top
[01:25] [SONG] all call
Yeah that's right!
[01:27] [SONG] Young Wai-Wai
It's show
[01:28] [SONG] Yomogi
Don't slow down to hear them
call you funny, not a day
[01:30] [SONG] Yuzu
You'll never reach the top that way
[01:30] [SONG] all call
Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh yeah!
[01:32] [SONG] Yayoi
You know it's true, what we say
[01:34] [SONG] all call
Hey!
[01:35] [SONG] all sing
But this isn't about us just getting a laugh
[01:38] [SONG] all call
Yeah! Yeah!
[01:41] [SONG] all sing
That's not why we're here
It's much bigger, bigger than all that
[01:44] [SONG] all call
All that
[01:45] [SONG] all sing
We want to get
[01:45] [SONG] all call
We want to get, yeah!
[01:48] [SONG] all sing
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
[01:48] [SONG] all call
At last the genuine reason
we're living in this world
[01:53] [SONG] all sing
Yeah if we are the ones
that are making you laugh
[01:53] [SONG] all call
Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye! Ye!
[01:58] [SONG] all sing
We gotta go so hard it'll really,
really give us that, you know?
[02:02] [SONG] all sing
Top of the laugh
[02:02] [SONG] all call
Top of the laugh Ye~ah!
[02:05] [SONG] all sing
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way.
We're gonna make it to the top one day!
[02:05] [SONG] all call
At last we're gonna give it our all, our way,
oh! We're gonna make it to the top one day!
[02:10] [SONG] Yayoi
Aw yeah!
SIGN The Boss Battle Chapter
[02:16] Seiji
Only three days remain in the last
Teppen Grand Prix qualifying round.
[02:19] Seiji
It's about time you show
us what you're made of...
[02:24] Seiji
in the final test!
[02:26] Yomogi
The final test.
[02:27] Yuzu
That's right. At the start,
[02:30] Yuzu
he said the final qualifier would be to
keep living at Takako-so until the end.
[02:34] Yayoi
Huh? Does that mean...?
[02:40] Seiji
You look like you're starting
to take this seriously.
[02:42] Seiji
But determination alone won't
get you to the main event.
[02:45] Seiji
The Teppen Grand Prix isn't that easy!
[02:48] Yayoi
Just watch! We'll beat whatever
test you throw at us!
[02:52] Seiji
Heh. Well then,
[02:53] Seiji
let's see if you can stay put inside
the dorm for the next three days.
[02:58] Seiji
I'll be watching closely.
[03:03] Macho men
Macho! Macho! Macho! Macho!
[03:06] Macho men
Macho! Macho! Macho! Macho!
[03:08] Macho men
Macho! Macho! Macho! Macho!
[03:11] Macho men
Macho! Macho! Macho! Macho!
[03:14] Macho men
Macho! Macho!
[03:16] Macho men
Ooh, muscle!
[03:18] Macho men
Muscle! Muscle!
[03:19] Seiji
Well?
[03:21] Seiji
How long can you take the heat in here?
[03:24] Yayoi
The temperature and the air are so steamy
with machismo I feel like I'm gonna melt!
[03:29] Yuzu
I don't want to be here one second!
[03:31] Yomogi
Is this why he thought staying
put would be a challenge?
[03:34] Mone
Oh, come on! The A/C isn't working!
[03:37] Seiji
The A/C was timed to turn off right now.
[03:40] Seiji
I set it up that way...
[03:42] Seiji
in the first episode!
[03:43] Kana
What?
[03:45] Kana
You mean that was foreshadowing all along?
[03:48] Hina
But that doesn't make sense.
[03:49] Hina
Takako-so was completely destroyed.
[03:51] Seiji
Don't be so nitpicky!
[03:53] Seiji
Be more macho! More macho!
[03:55] Misao
Don't change the subject!
[03:56] Seiji
Anyway, between now and the
morning three days from now,
[03:59] Seiji
if you take one step outside of
Takako-so, you'll be disqualified.
[04:02] Mako
It's so hot!
[04:03] Hikari
Three days like this, and we'll die.
[04:06] Yomogi
There must be something
we can do! Something!
[04:08] Macho men
Muscle! Muscle!
[04:10] Yuzu
That's it! I get it now!
[04:12] Yayoi
Yuzu, you figured it out?
[04:14] Yuzu
There's an old proverb from
the ancient comedy world:
[04:17] Yuzu
"Thou shalt eat the hot
oden whilst it is hot."
[04:19] Chitose
Is that really an old proverb?
[04:21] Yuzu
The point is, the heat is coming
from the steaming hot oden.
[04:25] Yuzu
So we should eat it!
[04:26] Saeka
With the oden gone,
the temperature will drop,
[04:29] Saeka
and macho men can't survive in cold places.
[04:32] Saeka
Is that what you mean?
[04:33] Iroha
That's gotta be it.
[04:34] Iroha
Macho men don't have enough
body fat to stand the cold!
[04:38] Mako
In that case...
[04:39] Kana
It's our move!
[04:41] Miyu
Leave the eating to me!
[04:43] Mako
I call the tofu fritter!
[04:45] Mako
You're mine!
[04:47] Seiji
Muscle turbo!
[04:49] Seiji
On!
[04:50] Mako
What?!
[04:51] Miyu
The pot dodged?!
[04:52] Macho men
Muscle! Muscle! Muscle! Muscle!
[04:57] Kana
We can't grab anything with
them squatting that fast!
[05:01] Seiji
You went after the oden, I'll give you that.
[05:04] Seiji
But don't think you can catch a
macho man's squat that easily!
[05:09] Yomogi
What speed! But what kind
of test is this anyway?
[05:13] Kana
Now I'll never get any oden!
[05:15] Chitose
Is there any another way?
[05:16] Chitose
Some way to stop the macho men?
[05:18] Iroha
That's it! We can use those!
[05:20] Chitose
Huh?
SIGN Miss Donut
[05:23] Mone
The donuts Saeka brought to share!
[05:26] Iroha
Donuts are basically
high-calorie clumps of oil!
[05:28] Iroha
Eat this!
[05:37] Macho man
My PFC ratio is falling apart!
SIGN Protein
SIGN Fat
SIGN Carbohydrates
[05:42] Yayoi
They stopped moving!
[05:43] Yomogi
Why...?
[05:44] Iroha
They struggle every day to
maintain an ideal PFC ratio.
[05:48] Iroha
No macho man can face the
terror of having that ruined.
[05:51] Chitose
Macho life is too weird!
[05:53] Yomogi
Now's our chance!
[05:54] Miyu
It's mine!
[05:55] Mako
Chesuto!
[05:55] Miyu
Whoa!
[05:55] Yomogi
Get 'em!
[05:56] Miyu
Ouch!
[05:58] Mako
Huff, huff, huff...
[05:59] Yuina
Let's all work together!
[06:01] Chihori
Yeah! Compared to a solar prominence,
hot oden is nothing!
[06:05] Saeka
Let's combine our strength and eat it up!
[06:08] Yuina
It's still hot!
[06:10] Hina
Oh. I hate konjac. Here, Miyu.
[06:12] Miyu
Ouch! Don't stick hot konjac
on my face! I'll die!
[06:20] Yuzu
I'm exhausted.
[06:22] Mone
Ugh... I'm stuffed.
[06:26] Yuina
It's getting pretty late.
[06:27] Yuina
Let's go to bed so we're ready for tomorrow.
[06:32] Misao
What's that noise?
[06:34] Chitose
Who's playing upbeat
music when we're all so tired?!
[06:55] Hikari
Could you sleep?
[06:56] Miyu
No way. Not a wink.
[06:59] Miyu
They were dancing right next to me.
[07:02] Hikari
I hear that.
[07:03] Yuina
Are these people ever going to stop dancing?
[07:07] Kana
Why don't we ask them to leave?
[07:09] Chitose
Would they even listen when
they're having so much fun?
[07:14] Yuzu
Are those...
[07:16] Yuzu
clothespins?
[07:18] Yuzu
If we pull those clothespins,
we might be able to move them.
[07:21] Mako
Oh, yeah! So that's what they're for!
[07:24] Misao
What the heck? They aren't moving at all.
[07:27] Yomogi
They won't even budge!
[07:30] Seiji
It won't work.
[07:31] Seiji
You'd need superhuman strength to
make trained samba dancers move.
[07:35] Mone
Seiji-san, were you drumming all night?
[07:38] Yuzu
There's an old proverb from
the ancient comedy world:
[07:42] Yuzu
"Thou shalt clip clothespins to thy face."
SIGN Yuzu-neesan's...
SIGN ...Declaration
[07:45] Misao
Where are you getting these proverbs?!
[07:47] Yuzu
If we clip the clothespins to our faces,
we might be able to pull the dancers!
[07:51] Misao
And how does that make any sense?!
[07:52] Kana
It probably increases surface force.
[07:55] Misao
What the heck is "surface force"?!
[07:56] Hikari
If there's no other way,
we'll just have to try it.
[08:00] Saeka
But we'll need to choose who will endure
the humiliation of a clothespin face.
[08:05] Mako
Shouldn't it be the girls with the
faces most suited to clothespins?
[08:09] Mako
Why me?!
[08:10] Saeka
Do your best, Mako.
[08:10] Chihori
Ow, ow, ow!
[08:13] Chihori
It hurts!
[08:14] Chihori
It hurts as much as when I got
hit by a meteorite on Mars!
[08:18] Yuina
W-We're counting on you, Chihori.
[08:20] Hina
It suits you, Miyu.
[08:22] Miyu
I don't wanna hear it!
[08:23] Kana
Iroha-senpai, doesn't it hurt?
[08:25] Iroha
I thought it might come to this,
so I've been exercising my face.
[08:28] Iroha
I'm fine.
[08:29] Mako
All right, then. One, two...
[08:32] Mako; Chihori; Miyu; Iroha
Heave-ho! Heave-ho! Heave-ho!
[08:34] Yayoi
Ah! They moved a little!
[08:36] Mako
My skin! It's tearing off my skin!
[08:38] Saeka
I'll replenish your skin!
Replace it, even!
[08:41] Saeka
Keep going!
[08:42] All
Heave-ho! Heave-ho!
[08:51] Yayoi
That was crazy, guys.
SIGN Felt like my face was getting destroyed
[08:54] Yayoi
Mm-hmm.
[08:56] Yuzu
We now know where this is leading.
[08:58] Yomogi
Yeah. When they try to force us out,
we have to counter with comedy.
[09:05] Yayoi
Now that we know how to play, we can't lose.
[09:08] Yayoi
When did Seiji-san leave?
[09:14] Mone
W-We're under attack?!
[09:19] Yuina
They have darts and blowguns!
[09:21] Yomogi
Hey, that's dangerous!
You could've hit someone!
[09:26] Yuzu
Yomogi!
[09:27] Yayoi
Don't die on us!
[09:28] Chitose
There's no way she'd die from that.
[09:30] Mone
I bet it's mega painful, though.
[09:34] Hikari
Can we take cover somewhere?
[09:36] Hikari
Huh?
[09:37] Hikari
Where did that thing come from?
[09:40] Kana
Perfect timing, though!
[09:42] Kana
Darts can't fly through a bath.
[09:44] Chitose
Stop, Kana!
[09:45] Chitose
If this is like the others, that's...!
[09:48] Kana
Huh?
[09:49] Kana
Aaahoowww!
[09:51] Chitose
Super-hot water. I knew it.
[09:53] Mako
Hey! We can't get in water that hot!
[09:56] Yuzu
No! If it's that hot, then we must get in it!
[09:59] Hina
Say what?
[10:01] Yuzu
There's an old proverb from
the ancient comedy world:
[10:05] Yuzu
"Don't push me. Don't push me. Okay, push!"
[10:08] Yuzu
Jumping into a super-hot
bath is a comedy standard.
[10:13] Hina
A comedy standard?
[10:17] Misao
So we either get shot by darts
or jump in hot water?
[10:20] Miyu
Okay, then!
[10:23] Miyu
I'll go in at my own pace.
[10:26] Miyu
Don't push me. Don't push me.
[10:28] Miyu
Don't push me. Don't push me!
[10:33] Miyu
Okay, push!
[10:34] Miyu
Aaah! It's so hot!
[10:36] Misao
M-Miyu!
[10:37] Misao
We gotta follow Miyu in!
[10:39] Misao
Jump in the water!
[10:42] Yayoi
O-Okay!
[10:43] Yuzu
Ah! It's hot!
[10:45] Yuina
Chihori, the darts!
[10:45] Chihori
Aah! One stuck me!
[10:48] Seiji
Sounds like they're doing pretty well.
[10:50] Seiji
But we're just getting started.
SIGN Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[11:02] Kana
Nobody's out there.
[11:03] Mako
Yeah. Is the test over already?
[11:05] Yuzu
I don't think so.
[11:07] Yuzu
The deadline is tomorrow morning.
[11:09] Yuzu
Anything could happen before then!
[11:12] Miyu
But we're ready for whatever
they throw at us now.
[11:17] Police (Seiji)
To the suspects barricaded
inside Takako-so:
[11:20] Police (Seiji)
Release the hostages and
surrender immediately!
[11:23] Chitose
What does he mean "suspects"?
[11:24] Chitose
We don't have any hostages!
[11:26] Police (Seiji)
Immediately release the smoked chicken
tenders that Seiji so lovingly prepared!
[11:31] Yomogi
The chicken tenders are our hostages?!
[11:33] Police (Seiji)
We're the Muscle Police!
You must follow our orders.
[11:36] Misao
They ain't even real cops!
[11:38] Yayoi
Does that mean this is part of the test?
[11:41] Yuzu
It seems like it.
[11:43] Police (Seiji)
Your criminal activities are
making your parents suffer!
[11:47] Hikari's mom
Hikari? You're in there, right?
[11:48] Hikari
Huh?! Mom?!
[11:50] Hikari's mom
I heard you were involved in a crime.
[11:53] Hikari's mom
That makes me so sad!
[11:55] Mako
What a cheap move, to bring her mom into it!
[11:57] Hikari's mom
You've never been the type to cause trouble.
[12:00] Hikari's mom
You've always been such
a good, gentle child!
[12:03] Hikari
Mom...
[12:03] Mako
Huh?!
[12:04] Hikari
Mom!
[12:07] Hikari's mom
I want you to remember who you are,
[12:09] Hikari's mom
so I'm going to read the grade
school essay you wrote.
[12:13] Hikari
Huh?
[12:14] Hikari's mom
"When I Grow Up," by Jogasaki Hikari,
Grade Six, Class One.
[12:18] Hikari's mom
"Everybody calls me Princess Hikari.
[12:22] Hikari's mom
I think it's because I give off
a super-strong princess vibe.
[12:27] Hikari's mom
This little princess's mom and
dad own a sweets company."
[12:32] Iroha
This is horrible. How embarrassing.
[12:35] Chitose
It's pure hell.
[12:36] Hikari
I'll make her stop.
[12:37] Saeka
You can't, Hikari!
[12:38] Yuzu
She's right! That's exactly
what they want you to do!
[12:41] Yuzu
These tests are all based
on variety TV show gags.
[12:44] Yayoi
Variety show gags?
[12:46] Yuzu
Yeah.
[12:46] Yuzu
Since ancient times, it's been
common on variety shows
[12:48] Yuzu
to have the guest comedians' parents
make a surprise appearance.
[12:51] Yuzu
If the guests get angry about it,
they're never invited to the show again.
[12:56] Yomogi
So no matter how embarrassing
our parents are,
[12:59] Yomogi
it's important to keep reacting
without actually getting angry?
[13:03] Yuzu
Probably.
[13:04] Kana's mom
Kana, can you hear me?
[13:05] Kana
Ma?
[13:06] Chitose
Wha—Next up is Kana's ma?
[13:08] Kana
Oh, don't say any weird stuff about me, Ma.
[13:11] Kana
Like the essay I wrote about becoming
the world's number one idol,
[13:15] Kana
or about becoming the god of Naniwa.
[13:17] Kana
That stuff is so embarrassing!
Please don't say anything!
[13:20] Iroha
You've already said it all.
[13:22] Kana's mom
Actually... Kana...
[13:24] Kana's mom
Pa left me again.
[13:28] Kana's mom
I really wonder if it's all my fault.
[13:32] Kana's mom
Or has he found someone else?
[13:35] Iroha
Don't, Kana!
[13:36] Kana
Let me go! Let me go!
SIGN Go with the "Dad left me" routine
[13:39] Kana
I need to go give Ma a big hug!
[13:42] Chitose
I know how you feel, but you can't!
[13:42] Kana
Ma! Wait for me! I'm coming! Let me go!
[13:43] Chitose
He isn't actually gone anyway!
[13:45] Chitose
Maybe!
[13:46] Saeka
This is unexpected.
[13:48] Saeka
I didn't think they would resort
to psychological warfare.
[13:50] Miyu
Pretty tough enemy, huh?
[13:52] Miyu
Ah!
[13:56] Yuzu
What is it this time?
[13:57] Miyu
It's gotta be...
[13:59] Miyu
This... It's gotta be!
[14:01] Miyu
It's the Mito Komon Neo theme song!
[14:03] Komon
To the villains tormenting the townsfolk:
[14:05] Komon
I can no longer ignore your evil deeds!
[14:08] Miyu
Th-That voice is...
[14:09] Komon
Do you not recognize the
Shogun's family crest?
[14:11] Miyu
It's g-g-g-g-gotta be!
[14:14] Miyu
Komon-sama's voice!
[14:15] Miyu
They're filming Mito Komon Neo
outside right now!
[14:19] Misao
Don't go, Miyu! It's a trap!
[14:21] Miyu
Trap or not, it's Mito Komon, in the raw!
[14:24] Miyu
A once-in-a-lifetime chance!
[14:26] Miyu
Gimme the raw Mito Komon!
[14:27] Miyu
Show me the raw Mito Komon!
[14:30] Hina
Stop saying "raw Mito Komon."
[14:31] Miyu
Let me go! You gotta let me go!
SIGN Mito Komon Neo & Space Wars
[14:37] Yuina
What's that sound?
[14:38] Mone
It sounds like a light saber!
[14:39] Knight
Believe in the force of the Power!
[14:41] Mone
Aah! He said the thing!
[14:42] Mone
It's gotta be!
[14:43] Mone
They're filming a Space Wars movie outside!
[14:47] Yuina
You still can't go, Mone!
[14:49] Mone
I wanna watch! I wanna watch! Let me go!
[14:52] Chihori
It's probably a trap! I'm sure it's a trap!
[14:55] Komon
What an unusual glowing sword.
[14:57] Komon
Suke-san and Kaku-san aren't here right now,
[14:59] Komon
so why don't you and I join forces?
[15:02] Knight
Very well. May you also
be guided by the Power.
[15:07] Mone
It's a crossover!
[15:09] Mone
It's a Space Wars and
Mito Komon Neo crossover!
[15:12] Miyu
Komon-sama leaves Mito
and flies into space?!
[15:16] Miyu; Mone
I can't live without seeing this!
[15:19] Yayoi
Don't go!
[15:25] Yayoi
I won't let you pass!
[15:26] Miyu
Ouch! Move it, Yayoi!
[15:28] Miyu
The raw Mito Komon is right out there!
[15:31] Mone
Space is expanding!
[15:33] Yayoi
I won't let you! If you go outside,
you can't go to the Teppen!
[15:37] Mone
That's none of your business!
[15:39] Yayoi
It is too! You're my friends!
[15:41] Yayoi
I want all of us to go to
the main event together!
[15:46] Yomogi
Yayoi...
[15:47] Yayoi
I don't want anyone left out.
[15:50] Yayoi
Let's all stand on that stage together!
[15:53] Miyu
You're right. Our futures are on the line.
[15:57] Mone
Sorry, Yayoi-chan. I just...
[16:00] Yayoi
Hey, it's fine. Let's all
eat and take a break.
[16:04] Mone
You can have my space rations.
[16:06] Yayoi
Really? Thanks!
[16:08] Yuzu
Even if we get invited to work on
our favorite shows and movies,
[16:11] Yuzu
we can't can't neglect our
main work as comedians.
[16:14] Yuzu
I'm sure this test was made
to teach us that lesson.
[16:18] Yomogi
Is all this really necessary to
determine Grand Prix participation?
[16:25] Kana
We got some kind of a delivery.
[16:28] Chitose
What are those?
[16:30] Hina
They're VR headsets.
[16:32] Misao
Like the gaming device?
[16:34] Yuzu
Variety shows always have gaming segments.
[16:37] Yuzu
This might be a test to
see how we handle them.
[16:40] Yuina
According to what Seiji-san said,
today's the third day.
[16:42] Yuina
If we hold out until morning,
we can go to the main event.
[16:46] Yayoi
Just a little longer! Let's make
it to the competition together!
[16:49] Chitose
After this, we'll be rivals, though.
[16:52] Yomogi
Obviously. Only one team
can make it to the top!
[16:55] Yuzu
This must be the last test.
[16:58] Yuzu
Stay focused, everyone.
[17:00] Yayoi
I'm sure we can clear it
if we all work together!
[17:03] Yomogi
Let's give it all we got!
[17:08] Yayoi
Wow! Awesome!
[17:11] Chitose
It's really like we're inside a game.
[17:13] Chitose
VR is awesome.
[17:16] Yuina
Hey, look! The cows have wings!
Just like an isekai!
[17:20] Mone
Probably hard to milk them, though.
[17:23] Mako
But why tracksuits?
[17:25] Hina
Everyone wears tracksuits
in isekai. It's a rule.
[17:28] Villager
Oh, gee. Are y'all adventurers?
[17:32] Yomogi
What crappy graphics!
[17:34] Yomogi
He totally sticks out from the background!
[17:36] Villager
This here's the perfect village
to start an adventure in.
[17:40] Villager
If you need anything,
you should visit the tool shop.
[17:44] Villager
Here's 100 gold, so why don'tcha get set up?
[17:48] Yomogi; Yayoi
Thank you very much!
[17:50] Misao
Such a nice character, too.
Kinda makes it more sad.
[17:53] Villager
Ah, there she is. That over
there is my daughter.
[17:59] Yomogi
And the daughter's model is high quality?!
[18:01] Yomogi
Put some resources into the dad, too!
[18:03] Villager
Her name is Lady Meat Wench.
I hope you'll get along.
[18:07] Chitose
What a messed-up name!
The devs need a taste overhaul!
[18:11] Yuina
Wh-What?
[18:19] Yomogi
Something really nasty just spawned.
[18:21] Mone
It's the final boss! Look at it!
It's gotta be the final boss!
[18:25] Mako
But that's weird! Why would the final
boss appear in the starting village?
[18:30] Last Boss
I heard that some brave heroes had arrived.
[18:33] Last Boss
I figured I'd smash you to bits before
you had a chance to level up.
[18:38] Misao
He's just gonna betray time-honored
final boss conventions and skip ahead?!
[18:42] Misao
What a coward!
[18:44] Last Boss
The humans have spread too far.
[18:46] Last Boss
At this rate, the entire planet will perish.
[18:49] Chitose
What's he talking about all of a sudden?
[18:51] Iroha
It's typical final boss dialogue.
[18:54] Last Boss
There is no time left.
[18:55] Last Boss
To save the planet, I must wipe
out the humans. It is decided.
[18:59] Hina
What a cliché motive.
Don't you know this is the Reiwa era?
[19:02] Last Boss
Silence!
[19:09] Villager
No, no, no!
[19:10] Mako
Mr. Villager!
[19:11] Yayoi
Aah!
[19:12] Last Boss
Perish, humans!
[19:15] Miyu
I ain't gonna let you win!
[19:17] Miyu
Monkfish Stew Fire!
SIGN Monkfish Stew
[19:20] Monkfish
Pigyah!
SIGN Monkfish from Oarai
[19:21] Kana
Attack! Naniwa Summonster!
SIGN Naniwa Summonster
[19:23] Naniwa Doll
How's it hangin', man?
[19:25] Saeka
Thank you for your purchase!
[19:26] Saeka
Credit Withdrawal Glitter!
[19:27] Chihori
The Big Bang Next Door!
SIGN Gold Bullion
SIGN Singularity
[19:29] Monkfish
Pigyaaah!
[19:29] Singularity
Birth of the universe!
[19:29] Naniwa Doll
All good. And you? And you?
[19:34] Last Boss
No effect. No effect at all!
[19:36] Last Boss
You will never defeat me!
[19:38] Last Boss
Your world will fall under my control!
[19:44] Yayoi
This way!
[19:46] Yayoi
Hurry!
[19:57] Yomogi
Yayoi...
[20:02] Yayoi
I'll defeat you myself!
[20:09] Saeka
Stop! You're going too far!
[20:11] Yayoi
I don't care!
[20:26] Last Boss
Is that all you got?
[20:30] Yayoi
Why, you...
[20:33] Yayoi
I'm gonna... I'm gonna...
[20:37] Yayoi
Yomogi! Yuzu!
[20:40] Yuzu
Let's finish this.
[20:41] Yomogi
We will.
[20:42] Yuzu; Yayoi; Yomogi
With one attack!
[20:47] Yomogi
Take this!
[20:48] Yuzu
Death blow!
[20:49] Yayoi
Young Wai-Wai!
[20:50] Last Boss
I-It can't be!
[20:52] Last Boss
Did their delicate bond of friendship
affect the world's code
[20:55] Last Boss
and glitch their XP?!
[20:59] Yuzu; Yayoi; Yomogi
Slash!
[21:07] Last Boss
It can't be... The bugs! Fix the bugs!
[21:12] Last Boss
Optimize the... code...
[21:14] Last Boss
Apologems...
[21:17] Cow
Moo!
[21:19] Cow
Moo!
[21:28] Yayoi
Yes!
[21:29] Yomogi
We succeeded!
[21:40] All three
A-Are we...?
[21:43] Seiji
There's an old proverb from
the ancient comedy world:
[21:48] Seiji
"Thou shalt not lose thyself
in games and quizzes
[21:53] Seiji
and forget thy true work."
[21:56] Seiji
Young Wai-Wai is...
[21:58] Seiji
out!
SIGN Young Wai-Wai
Disqualified
[22:03] Yayoi
No way...
[22:04] [SONG] Lead
Go! We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
[22:09] [SONG] back
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
[22:16] [SONG] lead
Hi! Hi! Hello! Let's get
on with the show today.
[22:19] [SONG] lead
We've just got four minutes, but we
hope you hear everything that we say.
[22:22] [SONG] back
Hey there cutie, hey there cutie,
didn't even miss a beat there, cutie.
[22:24] [SONG] lead
We hope you enjoy the show today.
[22:27] [SONG] lead
Here at home with you, in your living room,
we'll put a twinkle into your eyes.
[22:33] [SONG] lead
We've all dreamed to see if we could be
on a stage so free. Now it's a reality!
[22:42] [SONG] lead
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
[22:45] [SONG] lead
It's all good when we're laughing together.
[22:48] [SONG] lead
If we bomb, slip, even if we cry,
so what! That's still part of our destiny.
[22:53] [SONG] lead
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
[22:56] [SONG] lead
We'll hit it big if we
keep laughing together.
[22:59] [SONG] lead
We never knew that life
could ever be like this,
[23:02] [SONG] lead
and now that we're going, you know
there's no way we'll ever stop!
[23:05] [SONG] lead
We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
[23:09] [SONG] back
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
[23:10] [SONG] lead
All of our searching, all of our
training is fading out into the past.
[23:16] [SONG] lead
But to us now, those memories
will always be so precious.
[23:22] [SONG] lead
All of the tears, all of the pain,
rewriting life with our own words.
[23:27] [SONG] lead
We want to laugh it all away with you,
right up to the end. And that's a wrap!
SIGN The Laughter Chapter
E12 - The Laughter Chapter
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:03] Master Frog
The Teppen Grand Prix final
qualifier has ended.
[00:06] Master Frog
It seems one team from
Takako-so was eliminated.
[00:09] Master Phone
Even more should have been washed out.
[00:12] Master Phone
Why did you go so easy on them?
[00:14] Master Kokeshi
What's wrong, code name:
Muscle? Do you dare defy us?
[00:18] Master Frog
The comedy world is a battleground,
[00:20] Master Frog
a path of blood and carnage
where the weak fail
[00:23] Master Frog
and only the funny reach the top!
[00:27] Master Barber
Either way, if they have true skills, it
should be possible to crawl their way up.
[00:33] Master Moai
Only if they have the skills.
[00:35] Master Frog
Enough talking.
[00:37] Master Frog
This concludes the Teppen
Grand Prix Committee meeting.
SIGN Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SIGN Takoyaki
SIGN Takohashi
SIGN The Laughter Chapter
[00:55] Yayoi
It's all over.
[00:57] Yomogi
Yeah.
[00:58] Yuzu
That's true.
[00:59] Yayoi
We were kicked out of Takako-so.
[01:02] Yomogi
Yeah.
[01:02] Yuzu
That's true.
[01:04] Yayoi
And our dreams for the Teppen Grand Prix...
[01:07] Yayoi
I'm sorry, Yomogi, Yuzu.
[01:09] Yayoi
If only I hadn't saved the world!
[01:13] Yayoi
If only I hadn't claimed a hero's glory!
[01:15] Yuzu
It wasn't your fault, Yayoi!
[01:17] Yomogi
She's right! We were up there with you too.
[01:20] Yomogi
If only I had stopped you then...
[01:24] Yomogi
As Young Wai-Wai's tsukkomi,
I'm an embarrassment.
[01:27] Yayoi
Yuzu. Yomogi.
[01:33] Yayoi
Let's forget it.
[01:35] Yayoi
This isn't like us at all. Let's cheer up.
[01:38] Yayoi
Oh, yeah! Since everyone at Takako-so
is going to the main event,
[01:41] Yayoi
why don't we form a cheer squad for them?
[01:44] Yomogi
That sounds great!
[01:46] Yomogi
We'll be so happy if they do well.
[01:48] Yuzu
Think of how exciting it'll be if they win!
[01:51] Yayoi
Then we'll have to thank them!
[01:53] Yayoi
Like, "thanks for the excitement!"
[01:55] Yomogi
Yeah, "thanks for the excitement."
[01:57] Yuzu
Sure. "Thanks for the excitement."
[01:59] Yayoi
Yeah, yeah! Thanks for the...
[02:03] Yomogi
I don't know. I just...
[02:05] Yuzu
I'm happy to see them succeed, but...
[02:13] Yomogi
I just... can't.
[02:15] Yomogi
I can't shift gears that fast.
[02:17] Yomogi
I really wanted it.
[02:19] Yomogi
I really wanted to make people laugh.
[02:21] Yomogi
I really wanted to make it to the top.
[02:25] Yayoi
It isn't fair! It isn't fair! It isn't fair!
[02:27] Yayoi
I wanna be in the main event!
[02:28] Yayoi
There's so much more we can do!
[02:30] Yayoi
We were gonna be so hilarious!
[02:32] Yuzu
I really don't want things to end like this.
[02:35] Steward
Is that right, Mistress?
[02:37] Yuzu
Steward?
[02:39] Yayoi
How'd you get in?
[02:40] Yayoi
Wait. How long were you there?
[02:41] Steward
From the part when Yayoi-sama said,
[02:43] Steward
"It's all over."
[02:45] Yomogi
Since the start of the scene?!
[02:46] Yuzu
You should have said something.
[02:48] Steward
Please accept my apologies.
[02:49] Steward
I have a bad habit of blending
into the background.
[02:52] Steward
I have watched over
Mistress Yuzu her entire life,
[02:57] Steward
so her time away felt
like an eternity to me.
[03:01] Yuzu
I had to ask him not to
follow me to Takako-so.
[03:05] Yomogi
Is that right?
[03:06] Yayoi
But why did you show up now?
[03:09] Steward
The Teppen Grand Prix office asked
me to deliver something to you.
[03:14] Yuzu
Oh? What is it?
[03:16] Steward
It's this.
[03:17] Yomogi
A dumbbell?!
[03:18] Yayoi
Something's written on it.
[03:21] Yayoi
"To the members of Young Wai-Wai.
[03:23] Yayoi
You have been entered to compete
in the comeback round."
[03:27] Yayoi; Yomogi; Yuzu
The comeback round?!
[03:28] Seiji
It's true that you failed
the final qualifier.
[03:32] Seiji
But that doesn't mean you've
completely run out of options.
[03:36] Seiji
Final qualifiers were held all over the
country, with the same rules as Takako-so.
[03:40] Seiji
All of the disqualified trios are given the
right to participate in the comeback round
[03:44] Seiji
to compete for the last
spot in the main event.
[03:47] Seiji
The comeback round will be held on a special
stage in two days, right before the main event.
SIGN Teppen Grand Prix
[03:53] Seiji
This will be your final chance.
[03:57] Seiji
If you want to reach the top,
grab that one last ticket
[04:00] Seiji
like your life depends on it!
[04:03] Steward
So only one team will advance.
[04:06] Steward
That does sound quite strict.
[04:08] Yomogi
Oh, yes!
[04:09] Yomogi
We still had a chance!
[04:11] Yuzu
We aren't finished with the
Teppen Grand Prix yet!
[04:15] Yayoi
We get another chance to perform together!
[04:18] Yuzu
We can do more gags together!
The three of us!
[04:21] Yayoi
Hurray!
[04:22] Yomogi
Praise the gods of comedy!
[04:25] Yayoi
A comedy carnival?
[04:27] Steward
Yes.
[04:28] Steward
It's a small event held on the
roof of a department store.
[04:31] Steward
Several of the trios participating in the
comeback round will be appearing there.
[04:37] Steward
I suppose they're using it as a final
practice run before the real thing.
[04:40] Yomogi
If they're signed up for the comeback round,
that means they're all our rivals.
[04:44] Yayoi
I wonder what they're like.
SIGN Comedy Carnival!!!
[04:45] Yuzu
So do I.
[04:47] Steward
I expected you to say that.
SIGN Comedy Carnival!
[04:53] Yayoi
Too bad. I wish we could have performed, too.
[04:56] Yuzu
Oh, well. The deadline for
registering was yesterday.
[05:00] Hitoe
Oh, nice! You guys are Young Wai-Wai, right?
[05:03] Yomogi
Huh? Yeah, we are.
[05:05] Hitoe
I heard all about how you got
disqualified in the last round.
[05:09] Hitoe
You went on TV, and it went
straight to your head.
[05:11] Hitoe
That's, like, super lame!
[05:13] Yomogi
Don't talk to us like that. It's so rude!
[05:15] Yuzu
But who are you?
[05:17] Hitoe
Oh, us?
[05:19] Hitoe
Sprouted from the land and sea of Okinawa,
[05:22] Hitoe
the guardian lions of comedy!
[05:24] Hitoe
You know that "Chochune" joke? That's us!
SIGN Chochune
[05:27] Eri
Flyin' high like an Okinawan rail.
[05:29] Miroko
I dream of drowning at sea and
coming back as a coral reef.
[05:36] Yayoi
Are you guys appearing
in the comeback round?
[05:39] Hitoe
Yeah, and we're the ones who're gonna win!
[05:43] Hitoe
We ain't losing to some fancy-pants
Takako-so team that was showin' off on TV!
[05:48] Ringo
Hold it right there!
[05:52] Yomogi
Huh?
[05:52] Yuzu
Namahage?
[05:56] Ringo
Ripe as fresh fruit from Tohoku,
SIGN Michinoku
SIGN Blizzard
[05:58] Ringo
Michinoku Blizzard is gonna snag
that last spot at the main event!
[06:02] Cherry
Hi, I'm Cherry.
[06:03] Nashiko
I dare you to say my pear
costume looks dumb.
[06:06] Yuzu
Could it be? These three too?
[06:09] Udon
Youse ain't gonna leave us out of this.
[06:12] Udon
Main event, you say?
[06:14] Udon
That spot's for the four-star
triangle of Shikoku,
SIGN The Fore Seasons
[06:17] Udon
The Fore Seasons. You won't get past us!
[06:21] Pom
Anyone want some Pon orange juice?
[06:23] Naru
Believe it! Believe it!
SIGN The Fore Seasons
[06:25] Yomogi
They keep getting weirder and weirder!
[06:28] Yuzu
They're coming on so strong, it's
actually drowning out their style.
[06:31] Yuzu
These are the trios going
to the comeback round?
[06:35] Udon
What a seriously sour bunch you are.
[06:37] Udon
I'll strangle you to death with my udon!
[06:39] Udon
Or would ya rather choke to death on it?
[06:42] Yomogi
Quit weaponizing your local cuisine!
[06:44] Jessie
Remember!
[06:45] Jessie
If y'all ignore us, you're
going to re-Greta Garbo it!
[06:48] Yayoi
Who is it this time?
[06:50] Jessie
The world-class star player of comedy.
[06:53] Jessie
Fujiyama Touchdown is who we are!
SIGN Fujiyama Touchdown
[06:56] Miley
Country is country!
[06:59] Kaepernickson
Fujiyama justice!
[07:00] Jessie
Young Wai-Wai!
[07:02] Jessie
You think you're somethin' special just
because you got on TV a little, big man?
[07:06] Jessie
We'll show ya who's who when
we ace that comeback round!
[07:10] Hitoe
Oh, jeez! That fake globalization!
[07:13] Hitoe
We won't let you just brush
Chochune off and declare a win!
[07:17] Ringo
Our jokes are better and our farms
are bigger than anything you got!
[07:20] Udon
We'll show you how thick our
skin is. Thicker than udon!
[07:30] Yayoi
They were crazy.
[07:32] Yomogi
Yeah, literally.
[07:33] Yuzu
Their intros had such impact that
I don't even remember the jokes.
[07:38] Yomogi
I guess that sort of thing is comedy too,
[07:40] Yomogi
but I want us to compete on
the strength of our gags.
[07:43] Yayoi
Then let's start writing new ones!
[07:45] Yayoi
Let's hit 'em with the best we got!
[07:48] Kana
I heard about what's going on.
[07:50] Yayoi
Kana-chan?!
[07:52] Chitose
Kana. You're inside. Take off your shoes.
[07:54] Iroha
Excuse us! We just dropped by.
[07:56] Yomogi
Bullet Kunoichi!
[07:58] Yomogi
Why are you guys here?
[07:59] Kana
Come on, we aren't strangers.
[08:01] Kana
We were your housemates at Takako-so!
[08:03] Kana
If you're having trouble with
your routine, we can help!
[08:07] Miyu
That settles it! The theme
is Ibaraki versus Gunma!
[08:10] Misao
Yeah, that's perfect.
[08:12] Yomogi
No, it isn't!
[08:13] Yomogi
But where the heck did you come from?
[08:15] Hina
Kids in Ibaraki learn to camouflage
themselves three months after birth.
[08:19] Hina
They must, to survive.
[08:20] Yomogi
Is their life really that harsh?
[08:22] Saeka
We got worried and decided to visit.
We thought things might turn out like this.
[08:27] Hikari
If we can't give Young
Wai-Wai practical advice,
[08:30] Hikari
it'll just be a distraction for them.
[08:33] Mako
People who are really stingy with their
advice never actually help, do they?
[08:37] Miyu
Oh, stuff it!
[08:39] Miyu
You think you can give
them good advice, then?
[08:42] Saeka
Yes, of course.
[08:43] Saeka
First of all, we'll have them
wear this when they go on stage.
SIGN We'll pay you 100,000 yen each
if you help us win
[08:49] Yomogi
It's a bribe!
[08:50] Yuina
The horoscope says the stars will be
aligned for Young Wai-Wai that day.
[08:55] Yomogi
Invaders!
[08:58] Yomogi
Why'd you come in that way?
[08:59] Yuina
And your lucky charm is
a space alien's head!
[09:02] Chihori
What? Seriously?!
[09:03] Mone
Want me to teach you my beam saber bit?
[09:06] Yomogi
This room is too small for all of you!
[09:09] Kana
But we're all worried about you!
[09:12] Yuina
We want you at the main event! Definitely!
[09:14] Mako
Then why don't we all take turns
writing parts of the routine?
[09:18] Miyu
We'll start it with "Ibaraki banzai!"
[09:21] Yomogi
That makes the topic too small!
[09:23] Mone
How about "space banzai"?
[09:25] Yomogi
That makes it too big!
[09:26] Saeka
Why don't we drop cash
from a helicopter, then?
[09:30] Yomogi
Another bribe?
[09:31] Yomogi
You only see that at the
end of heist movies!
[09:34] Miyu
Then we'll drop natto instead.
[09:36] Yomogi
That's harassment!
[09:37] Mone
I always use the beam saber
to heat up the onsen.
[09:40] Yomogi
Enough of the beam saber jokes!
[09:42] Kana
How about everything from the birth
of the planet to the present?
[09:42] Yayoi
Did you think of something?
[09:45] Yuzu
Yeah. Why don't we go with this theme?
[09:46] Yomogi
That's too long!
SIGN Our Friends at Takako-so
SIGN Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SIGN Teppen Grand Prix
[10:05] Ahn Mika
The day is finally here!
[10:07] Ahn Mika
The Teppen Grand Prix main event!
[10:10] Ahn Mika
I'll be your host today—
[10:12] Ahn Mika
like a big sister you all know and love,
[10:14] Ahn Mika
Ahn Mika is here for you!
[10:18] Ahn Mika
Before tonight's main event,
[10:20] Ahn Mika
we're holding the comeback round on
a special stage next to the stadium.
SIGN Teppen Grand Prix
SIGN Chochune
[10:26] Ahn Mika
The comeback round will stream
live on our official channel,
[10:30] Ahn Mika
where the audience will
be able to participate!
[10:33] Ahn Mika
The ranking of the performances will
be decided by the in-person audience
[10:37] Ahn Mika
and online viewers around the country.
[10:40] Ahn Mika
Out of the ten entrants, only the group with
the most votes will receive a ticket
[10:45] Ahn Mika
to attend the Teppen Grand Prix main event.
SIGN Teppen
Grand Prix
SIGN Teppen
Grand Prix
[10:49] Ahn Mika
Which trio will earn a final chance
to perform at the main event?
SIGN Teppen
Grand Prix
SIGN Comeback Round
Entries
SIGN Chochune
SIGN Beach Time
SIGN Fujiyama Touchdown
SIGN Michinoku Blizzard
SIGN The Fore Seasons
SIGN Tonkotsu Busters
SIGN Three Silly Sisters
SIGN Hyakumangoku Manju
SIGN Mixed Vegetables
SIGN Young Wai-Wai
SIGN Young Wai-Wai
[10:54] Ahn Mika
This is one show you don't want to miss!
[10:57] Chitose
A traffic jam?!
[10:58] Yuzu
Yeah. There was some kind of accident.
[11:00] Steward
I am very sorry.
[11:02] Yayoi
It isn't your fault, Steward.
[11:04] Yomogi
But how long will this traffic jam last?
[11:10] Akudai
Hey, you! Get out of my way!
[11:13] Detective
No! This is our filming location!
[11:15] Akudai
No men allowed!
[11:17] Detective
Damn it! We air in 24 hours!
SIGN Fujiyama Touchdown
[11:22] Jessie
Touchdown! We're Fujiyama Touchdown,
[11:26] Jessie
and we're going to send a comedy tornado...
[11:28] Chitose
At this rate, they might not even make it.
SIGN Green Room
[11:31] Kana
Oh, no!
[11:32] Misao
They're on last, so they
still have some time.
[11:36] Yuina
Saeka-san! Can't you send them
a helicopter or something?
[11:39] Saeka
It's impossible. It would take
too much time to arrange.
[11:43] Chihori
There aren't any UFOs available, either.
[11:45] Mako
Then let's ask them to delay!
[11:47] Hikari
That's right. If we talk
to the management...
[11:51] Seiji
That won't work.
[11:53] Seiji
The main event broadcast
starts right afterward.
[11:56] Seiji
The schedule is locked in.
[11:58] Kana
I know, but this is too unfair!
[12:00] Kana
Yayoi-chan kept saying she wanted to
go to the main event with everyone.
[12:04] Kana
But now...
[12:13] Yuzu
If we catch the next train, we might make it.
[12:16] Yayoi
Let's hurry!
[12:17] Yuzu; Yomogi
Yeah!
[12:19] Steward
Please be careful!
[12:28] Ringo
So I told 'em to cut it out and...
SIGN Michinoku Blizzard
[12:32] Yuina
They're already on the fourth team.
SIGN The Fore Seasons
[12:38] Udon
Pon, are ya ready?
[12:51] Yayoi
We made it!
[12:52] Yuzu
I'm out of breath.
[12:54] Yomogi
We should just barely make it in time.
[12:59] Yuzu
I wonder how the comeback round is going.
[13:02] Yayoi
Let's check.
[13:04] Yomogi
Chochune, Michinoku Blizzard,
[13:06] Yomogi
and then The Fore Seasons and
Fujiyama Touchdown, was it?
[13:10] Yomogi
How're those guys doing?
SIGN Chochune
[13:12] Yuzu
They seemed really funny,
with their costumes and stuff.
SIGN Michinoku
SIGN Blizzard
SIGN The Fore Seasons
SIGN Fujiyama Touchdown
SIGN Teppen
Grand Prix
SIGN Comeback Round
Tentative Ranking
SIGN Three Silly Sisters
SIGN Beach Time
SIGN Tonkotsu Busters
[13:15] Yayoi
Who's in first? Never heard of this trio.
SIGN Comeback Round
SIGN Audience Votes
[13:18] Yuzu
And the four teams we met...
[13:20] Yuzu
Huh?
SIGN C
H
O
C
H
U
N
E
SIGN B
E
A
C
H
T
I
M
E
SIGN F
U
J
I
Y
A
M
A
SIGN T
O
U
C
H
D
O
W
N
SIGN M
I
C
H
I
N
O
K
U
SIGN B
L
I
Z
Z
A
R
D
SIGN T
H
E
F
O
R
E
S
E
A
S
O
N
S
[13:21] Yomogi
They're bombing!
[13:22] Yomogi
That can't be right!
[13:24] Yomogi
They came out swinging like they were
supposed to be the tough opponents!
[13:28] Yomogi
They even got their own introduction scenes!
[13:31] Yuzu
What was the point of them acting so cocky?
[13:33] Yayoi
I guess they only looked funny.
[13:37] Yomogi
What now?
[13:40] Announcer
Due to a regional power outage,
we must make a temporary stop.
[13:44] Announcer
We apologize for the inconvenience.
[13:49] Police
You rerouted all of the
power in the city? Why?
[13:53] Interpreter
In the story, the super rifle
needs that much power to shoot.
[13:58] Police
But you can't do it for real!
[14:00] Police
You caused a power outage!
[14:02] Yayoi
How long does "temporary" mean?
[14:04] Yomogi
Temporary means temporary.
[14:07] Yomogi
But there's no way we'll make it now.
[14:09] Yayoi
Then let's get off here!
[14:11] Yuzu
We can't. Look.
[14:13] Yuzu
We're on a bridge!
[14:15] MC
Next is entry number 8, Hyakumangoku Manju!
SIGN Hyakumangoku Manju
SIGN Hyakumangoku Manju
[14:19] All three
Hello! We're Hyakumangoku Manju!
[14:20] Chitose
Oh, come on. Aren't they here yet?
[14:36] Yomogi
That's it. We'll never make it now.
[14:39] Yuzu
We let everyone at Takako-so down.
[14:42] Yuzu
After they did so much to encourage us...
[14:44] Yomogi
Unbelievable. Disqualified for being late...
[14:48] Yuzu
Yayoi?
[14:50] Yayoi
That was so fun!
[14:51] Yuzu; Yomogi
Huh?
[14:52] Yayoi
Oh, sorry.
[14:53] Yayoi
I'm really sad and frustrated, too.
[14:56] Yayoi
But when I realized it was over and
thought about everything we did...
[15:01] Yayoi
"It was so much fun!"
[15:03] Yayoi
That was all I could think about.
[15:06] Yomogi
How can you say that at a time like this?
[15:08] Yayoi
Yeah, I know. I'm sorry!
[15:10] Yomogi
It really was a lot of fun, though.
[15:13] Yomogi
Especially when we were in Takako-so.
[15:15] Yomogi
I felt like we were laughing the whole time.
[15:17] Yuzu
That's right. I had fun, too.
[15:20] Yuzu
Everyone at Takako-so was such a character.
[15:22] Yuzu
At first, I didn't think we'd get along.
[15:25] Yayoi
You were worried about that?
[15:27] Yuzu
Well, yeah.
[15:28] Yuzu
When I met Miyu-chan,
she handed me a natto bean,
[15:31] Yuzu
and said, "Here, a sign of friendship."
[15:33] Yomogi
"A clean vote for Ibaraki!"
Sayin' stuff like that.
[15:36] Yomogi
But my vote's worth more
than one slimy natto bean!
[15:40] Yomogi
It ain't even close to a fair trade.
[15:42] Yuzu
When she got in a fight with Kana-chan,
she whipped out the natto and yelled, "eat it!"
[15:47] Yomogi
I get that a lot of Kansai
folks don't like natto,
[15:50] Yomogi
but she used it like a
crucifix against Dracula!
[15:53] Yomogi
Is that what she thinks
of her local cuisine?
[15:55] Yayoi
And then Kana-chan almost turned to dust.
[15:57] Yomogi
No, she didn't!
SIGN Peach Robot
SIGN These three girls on the train are so funny
[15:58] Yomogi
If natto made Kansai folks evaporate,
there'd be tragedies all over Osaka!
SIGN Miyapi #9/25 Fukuoka
SIGN I've seen them somewhere before
[16:03] Yomogi
You gonna make us all go extinct?!
SIGN Yukki
SIGN They're right in front of me!!
[16:05] Yayoi
Extinction would suck!
I love Osaka and Kansai!
[16:09] Yomogi
Well, I'm glad to hear that.
[16:10] Yayoi
People in Kansai are all
funny, warm, bipedal,
[16:15] Yayoi
omnivorous, and don't have tails!
[16:18] Yomogi
Are you comparing us to dinosaurs?
[16:20] Yomogi
Who the heck jokes about the Reiwa Era
and the Cretaceous Period together?
[16:23] Yuzu
We were talking about extinction, so
your mind went to dinosaurs, right?
[16:26] Yuzu
But don't worry. Even if a giant asteroid
fell, the people of Kansai would repel it!
SIGN Ohapi
Laughing so hard
my stomach hurts!
SIGN Nobuyasu
Hold on.
Young Wai-Wai is hilarious!
And cute! They're great!
SIGN YY King
In Kansai they do manzai on trains! lol
SIGN Too funny, I can't! lol
Please, not on the train! lol
SIGN Young Wai-Wai are too cute to be this funny!
[16:31] Yomogi
These Kansai folk aren't just for show...
SIGN Kuma Bear
A normal conversation turns into manzai
They must really love comedy!
SIGN ...on the show??
[16:33] Yomogi
Forget that! The glow of Naniwa hearts
won't make a miracle happen!
SIGN Taper Taro
They're doing manzai in the wild! lol
SIGN Glasses Ryutaro
Hilarious! I could watch this forever!
SIGN Phone Light Kid
The girl on the right has crazy comebacks!
SIGN Huh? Young Wai-Wai!
I've seen them on TV
SIGN The girls from the show in the park
SIGN LOL
SIGN Fish-Fish Master
They're performing on the train?
SIGN Teppen
Grand Prix
SIGN Comeback Round
Entries
SIGN Chochune
SIGN Beach Time
SIGN Fujiyama Touchdown
SIGN Michinoku Blizzard
SIGN The Fore Seasons
SIGN Tonkotsu Busters
SIGN Three Silly Sisters
SIGN Hyakumangoku Manju
SIGN Mixed Vegetables
SIGN Young Wai-Wai
[16:37] Ahn Mika
We're down to the last team
in the comeback round!
[16:40] Ahn Mika
And yet...
SIGN Young Wai-Wai
[16:42] Ahn Mika
it seems that the last team,
Young Wai-Wai, have not arrived.
SIGN Young Wai-Wai
SIGN Young Wai-Wai
[16:54] Ahn Mika
Unfortunately, we'll have...
[16:56] Ahn Mika
to dis—
SIGN Look at the votes!
[16:57] Ahn Mika
Huh?
[16:58] Ahn Mika
Check the votes?
SIGN Comeback Round
SIGN Young Wai-Wai
[17:01] Ahn Mika
Is this...?
[17:02] Ahn Mika
What does this mean? Even though
they haven't performed,
[17:05] Ahn Mika
Young Wai-Wai is raking in the votes!
[17:08] Hina
How?
SIGN Comeback Round
[17:10] Yomogi
That's why you can't put Kansai
folk in a blast furnace!
[17:13] All
What?
[17:15] Mako
What? What? What is happening?
[17:17] Yayoi
Yay! I don't know why, but
we're being recorded!
SIGN Kansai folk in a blast furnace?? It's Young whatever! They get my vote gimme deets lol
[17:20] Yuzu
Like a live stream?
SIGN Young Wai-Wai
Huh? On the train???
they're from the comeback round
[17:22] Yomogi
So what? There's enough of us to go around.
[17:24] Yayoi
Hey, will you make my eyes
sparkly and my nose pointier?
SIGN JK cute funny
SIGN funny
who the heck
vote! vote! vote! vote!
I've seen them before
don't put effects on the pink girl lol
[17:28] Yomogi
Don't put filters on the video!
[17:29] Yuzu
I don't need all that, but would
you mind giving me a halo?
[17:33] Yomogi
You trying to look holy?
[17:36] Yomogi
That's even more egotistical!
[17:37] Ahn Mika
It seems like the live stream is going viral,
and the people watching are casting votes.
SIGN Comeback Round
[17:44] Ahn Mika
But is this allowed?
[17:47] Yayoi
Doesn't it seem like Chitose-chan likes
tsukkomi too much and gets carried away?
[17:52] Yuzu
When she came back with, "What
kind of sun rises like that?"
[17:54] Yuzu
I thought she'd peaked.
[17:56] Iroha
Young Wai-Wai is still gaining points!
[17:59] Kana
Go! Go!
[18:00] Yayoi
When I called Ibaraki "Ibaragi" once,
Hina-chan in Akudare Kingdom
[18:04] Yayoi
blinked a death threat at me in Morse code.
[18:08] Miyu
Go for it!
[18:10] Yuzu
Around Takako-so,
[18:11] Yuzu
there are so many UFOs
appearing all the time,
[18:13] Yuzu
it's practically a sci-fi pilgrimage site.
[18:16] Yayoi
I heard Saeka-san in Celebri-Tea
paid for those UFOs.
[18:20] Yomogi
Has she paid off the entire galaxy?
SIGN Mixed Vegetables
SIGN Three Silly Sisters
SIGN Beach Time
SIGN Young Wai-Wai
[18:24] Saeka
Keep going!
[18:25] Yayoi
According to Yuina-chan in Invaders,
[18:27] Yayoi
space aliens that used to be all
silver are starting to turn yellow.
[18:31] Yomogi
The stress of intergalactic
ambition is aging their skin!
SIGN Beach Time
SIGN Young Wai-Wai
SIGN Three Silly Sisters
SIGN Young Wai-Wai
SIGN Beach Time
[18:36] Yuina; Mone; Chihori
Go!
SIGN Three Silly Sisters
SIGN Hyakumangoku Manju
SIGN Mixed Vegetables
SIGN Young Wai-Wai
[18:39] Yomogi
Yeah, you said it!
SIGN Three Silly Sisters
SIGN Young Wai-Wai
SIGN Beach Time
SIGN Young Wai-Wai
SIGN Three Silly Sisters
SIGN Comeback Round
SIGN Young Wai-Wai
SIGN Three Silly Sisters
SIGN Beach Time
[18:45] Miyu
They did it!
[18:48] Announcer
Thank you for your patience.
[18:50] Announcer
Train operation will now resume.
[18:52] Master Frog
Invalid! They aren't even at the venue!
[18:56] Master Kokeshi
And those aren't real gags!
[18:57] Master Frog
No matter how many votes they received,
we cannot endorse this result!
[19:01] Seiji
I hate to disagree, but...
[19:02] Master Moai
What is it, code name: Muscle?
[19:05] Seiji
Our predecessors were once told the
same thing by their superiors.
[19:09] Seiji
"You're just punks making small talk."
"This isn't even comedy."
[19:13] Seiji
But afterward, those same people went on
to shine as legends in the world of comedy.
[19:19] Master Frog
What are you trying to say?
[19:22] Seiji
The old shouldn't limit the
possibilities of the young.
[19:24] Seiji
If it's funny, isn't that enough?
[19:29] Yomogi
Aw, we didn't make it after all.
[19:32] Yayoi
Yeah.
[19:33] Yuzu
Too bad.
[19:40] Yuzu
Barbra-san?
[19:42] Yayoi
How?
[19:43] Barbra
You can still make it. Get in!
[19:46] Yayoi
Takada-san!
[19:51] All three
Thanks!
[19:54] Ahn Mika
Following the solo and duo competitions,
we now bring you trios!
SIGN Teppen Grand Prix
[19:58] Ahn Mika
Funny faces from across Japan will compete
[20:00] Ahn Mika
for the number one spot in
this historic competition!
[20:03] Ahn Mika
We'll see who is strong enough to reach
the top—the Teppen—of comedy
[20:06] Ahn Mika
in the Teppen Grand Prix!
[20:08] Ahn Mika
The show is about to begin!
[20:11] Ahn Mika
But before we start the main event, let's
announce the results of the comeback round.
[20:16] Ahn Mika
The team who passed the comeback round is...
[20:19] Ahn Mika
Three Silly Sisters!
[20:21] Ahn Mika
Only one team can advance
from the comeback round.
[20:35] Ahn Mika
However, this year, there is an exception!
[20:39] Ahn Mika
The Teppen Grand Prix management
committee has decided that,
SIGN Teppen Grand Prix
[20:42] Ahn Mika
since they received an
unprecedented number of votes,
[20:44] Ahn Mika
one more trio will be given
special permission to perform.
[20:48] Ahn Mika
Let's welcome them to the stage!
[20:51] Ahn Mika
Young Wai-Wai!
[21:23] [SONG] Lead
Go! We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
[21:27] [SONG] back
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
[21:34] [SONG] lead
Hi! Hi! Hello! Let's get
on with the show today.
[21:37] [SONG] lead
We've just got four minutes, but we
hope you hear everything that we say.
[21:40] [SONG] back
Hey there cutie, hey there cutie,
didn't even miss a beat there, cutie.
[21:42] [SONG] lead
We hope you enjoy the show today.
[21:45] [SONG] lead
Here at home with you, in your living room,
we'll put a twinkle into your eyes.
[21:51] [SONG] lead
We've all dreamed to see if we could be
on a stage so free. Now it's a reality!
[22:00] [SONG] lead
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
[22:03] [SONG] lead
It's all good when we're laughing together.
[22:06] [SONG] lead
If we bomb, slip, even if we cry,
so what! That's still part of our destiny.
[22:11] [SONG] lead
Keep laughing! Keep laughing! Ha-ha-ing!
[22:14] [SONG] lead
We'll hit it big if we
keep laughing together.
[22:17] [SONG] lead
We never knew that life
could ever be like this,
[22:20] [SONG] lead
and now that we're going, you know
there's no way we'll ever stop!
[22:23] [SONG] lead
We want to live life to
the fullest. Yeah, we're serious!
[22:27] [SONG] back
Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat Teppen!
[22:28] [SONG] lead
All of our searching, all of our
training is fading out into the past.
[22:34] [SONG] lead
But to us now, those memories
will always be so precious.
[22:40] [SONG] lead
All of the tears, all of the pain,
rewriting life with our own words.
[22:45] [SONG] lead
We want to laugh it all away with you,
right up to the end. And that's a wrap!
[22:53] Yayoi
And that's it! We had so much fun.
[22:55] Yuzu
We had so much fun that we
can't talk about it all now.
[22:58] Yuzu
To be continued online!
[22:59] Yomogi
Let's talk now! I've never seen a
commercial say "to be continued online"
[23:02] Yomogi
and then link to anything even
remotely worth watching!
[23:04] Yuzu
Oh, I know!
[23:06] Yuzu
We can stick QR codes to our clothes
and let people watch our gags online.
[23:09] Yuzu
Then all we have to do is stand still!
[23:12] Yomogi
Just get mannequins for that!
[23:14] Yomogi
That isn't why we're here!
[23:15] Yuzu
I guess you're right.
If we're gonna be on stage,
[23:18] Yuzu
we should be joking and making
the audience here laugh.
[23:21] Yomogi
Right? When the audience laughs,
we all have a blast.
[23:24] Yayoi
Yeah! Yeah!
[23:25] Yayoi
We laugh, you laugh,
[23:27] Yayoi
and when everyone has a smile on their face,
then we're all at the Teppen!
[23:30] All three
Yeah!
SIGN The End.
SIGN Teppen!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!
SIGN Illustration: Namamugi
SIGN Thank you for watching!!!