E3 - Parallel World Paranoia
Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] ---
Makise Kurisu!
[00:04] ---
I did knock, for what it's worth.
[00:06] ---
How did you find this place?
[00:08] ---
I asked Hashida-san.
[00:10] ---
He called it a "laboratory,"
[00:12] ---
so I was expecting something
more than this...
[00:14] ---
Daru, did you betray me?
[00:17] ---
You were deceived by this
three-dimensional woman's wiles...
[00:20] ---
I'll never forgive you! Ever!
[00:24] ---
You... You...
[00:25] ---
Bitch!
[00:27] ---
Can you do anything about him?
[00:29] ---
Just think of him as confused by events.
[00:31] ---
This is an emergency.
[00:33] ---
The Organization finally
sent an agent to the lab!
[00:37] ---
What?
[00:38] ---
Then this, too, is the choice of Steins Gate?
[00:40] ---
Steins Gate?
[00:42] ---
Something Okarin made up.
[00:44] ---
It doesn't really mean anything.
[00:45] ---
I'm sure.
[00:47] ---
He's mixing up his German and English.
[00:50] ---
Take your shoes off!
[00:52] ---
I'm sorry.
[00:54] ---
I've been in America too long.
[00:58] ---
Nice to meet you.
[01:00] ---
I'm Makise Kurisu.
[01:04] ---
You can't even shake hands?
[01:05] ---
Japanese men don't know
how to do anything.
[01:12] ---
You're freaking out too much.
[01:15] ---
It's because I can feel murderous intent
seeping from your every pore.
[01:18] ---
Is this what they call the "martial arts"?
[01:23] ---
Where are you going?
[01:24] ---
Honestly, I came here to see if your claim
that I was stabbed was real
[01:29] ---
or just an excuse for sexual harassment.
[01:31] ---
But this is more important.
[03:22] ---
There's no damage to the connecting area.
[03:24] ---
It's not some kind of trick.
[03:26] ---
She may attempt to set
some kind of explosive.
[03:29] ---
Don't look away from her for a second.
[03:30] ---
No, she won't.
[03:32] ---
Got any tweezers?
[03:33] ---
No!
[03:33] ---
I see.
[03:35] ---
It's mushy inside.
[03:37] ---
It tastes...
[03:39] ---
Nothing.
[03:40] ---
Ew!
[03:40] ---
You zombie!
[03:42] ---
If you're hungry, say so.
[03:44] ---
I'll give you a banana.
[03:45] ---
I'm fine.
[03:46] ---
Who'd eat a pervert's banana anyway?
[03:49] ---
Pervert?
[03:50] ---
You poked at me,
trying to touch me, out of nowhere.
[03:53] ---
Miss Makise? Miss Makise?
[03:55] ---
Yes?
[03:55] ---
Can you say,
"Who'd eat a pervert's banana anyway?"
[03:59] ---
once more, you think?
[04:01] ---
If possible, with an upset expression.
[04:03] ---
Upset.
[04:04] ---
Yes.
[04:06] ---
Why the blushing?
[04:08] ---
Did you imagine something?
[04:09] ---
Say it, girl genius.
[04:12] ---
Let's hear what the genius thought!
[04:17] ---
It looks like you're both perverts.
[04:20] ---
Oh, my...
[04:21] ---
It's not a compliment.
[04:22] ---
I would say the person with the
perverted imagination is the pervert.
[04:25] ---
You're a perverted girl genius!
[04:27] ---
Who's a pervert?
[04:29] ---
Okay...
[04:30] ---
To be honest, we're at the point where
[04:32] ---
I could sue you for sexual harassment
this minute, but I'll forget it for now.
[04:35] ---
For now?
[04:36] ---
So tell me the details.
[04:38] ---
This banana has something to do
with that microwave, right?
[04:41] ---
It's top-secret!
[04:43] ---
Future Gadget #8, the Phone Microwave,
[04:46] ---
is my lab's secret weapon.
[04:50] ---
But Miss Makise might be able to explain
how this weird thing works.
[04:55] ---
But...
[04:56] ---
You need to understand, we'll never
figure this out on our own.
[05:00] ---
But this is the Future Gadget Lab's...
[05:08] ---
You!
[05:09] ---
Christina, you said?
[05:11] ---
No, I never said that.
[05:12] ---
I'll tell you the secrets of the Phone Microwave,
[05:14] ---
but on two conditions!
[05:16] ---
One, you must become a
Future Gadget Lab member.
[05:22] ---
You want me to join your lab?
[05:27] ---
But I'm returning to America in August...
[05:31] ---
It can be just until then.
[05:33] ---
And one more.
[05:34] ---
There's more?
[05:35] ---
Forget about any
sexual harassment I've done.
[05:41] ---
That's it.
[05:42] ---
Okarin, you're a small person.
[05:43] ---
A very small person.
[05:46] ---
And I love that. Love it!
[05:48] ---
Shut up!
[05:49] ---
Well?
[05:50] ---
I think the conditions are very favorable...
[05:52] ---
Favorable to you.
[05:54] ---
Jeez...
[05:55] ---
You're making my brain put out
too much noradrenaline.
[05:57] ---
What will you do, Christina?
[05:59] ---
There's no "-tina!"
[06:01] ---
Sorry, "The Zombie."
[06:03] ---
Say it right, Hououin Pervert-Kyouma!
[06:06] ---
What?
[06:07] ---
Pervert Girl Genius!
[06:09] ---
Perverts glaring at each other... Win!
[06:12] ---
Shut up, pervert!
[06:13] ---
Oh, fine.
[06:15] ---
All right.
[06:16] ---
I accept.
[06:17] ---
So no more "Pervert."
[06:19] ---
I'll stop calling you one, too.
[06:21] ---
Very well.
[06:23] ---
Then from now on, you're Lab Member 004!
[06:26] ---
Christina!
[06:29] ---
No "-tina," either!
[06:30] ---
Juicy Kara-age #1... Wow!
[06:34] ---
I'm back!
[06:34] ---
You think it's a teleporter?
[06:36] ---
It's dangerous to jump to conclusions.
[06:38] ---
Then what do you think it is?
[06:40] ---
If nothing else,
[06:41] ---
it didn't teleport the Juicy Kara-age
or the banana bunch.
[06:42] ---
One, two, three, four...
[06:45] ---
A guest?
[06:49] ---
Hello there.
[06:50] ---
I'm Makise Kurisu.
[06:52] ---
I'm sorry to just show up, out of the blue.
[06:54] ---
Shiina Mayuri.
[06:56] ---
It looks like I'm a lab member now, too.
[06:59] ---
A lab member?
[07:01] ---
Yes...
[07:02] ---
A girl lab member!
[07:05] ---
Is it that rare?
[07:08] ---
Yes! Yes! Yes!
[07:10] ---
You're the first girl lab member
after Mayushii!
[07:13] ---
I see.
[07:15] ---
Nice to meet you.
[07:16] ---
Yes, nice to meet you.
[07:18] ---
What?
[07:19] ---
What happened?
[07:20] ---
There was some electrical release.
[07:22] ---
Why didn't you tell me earlier?
[07:25] ---
Give me the details.
[07:26] ---
Um... Well...
[07:29] ---
Some kind of lightning came
from the microwave.
[07:31] ---
When?
[07:32] ---
Yesterday, around noon.
[07:35] ---
You saw the thing about
the satellite crash and ran out,
[07:39] ---
and I connected my phone to it.
[07:45] ---
Then, when I sent that message,
[07:47] ---
your phone was hooked up to the
Phone Microwave?
[07:51] ---
The one about Miss Makise being stabbed?
[07:54] ---
That was a week ago, wasn't it?
[07:56] ---
No, that was yesterday!
[08:00] ---
Where is it? Where is it?
[08:02] ---
Why isn't it here?!
[08:03] ---
When this happened,
what was the microwave doing?
[08:06] ---
I was doing a systems test...
[08:08] ---
So I think it was during
the reverse spinning testing.
[08:10] ---
We should try to recreate this.
[08:12] ---
Mayuri, bring me the Juicy Kara-age #1!
[08:16] ---
Okay!
[08:16] ---
You want some, everyone?
[08:18] ---
I can give each of you one.
[08:20] ---
Do we need to put something in there?
[08:22] ---
I want to see
[08:23] ---
what happens to its contents
when it revolves backwards.
[08:26] ---
Daru.
[08:30] ---
Assistant, send a message to my phone.
[08:33] ---
Since when am I your assistant?
[08:35] ---
And I don't know your address.
[08:38] ---
Useless assistant.
[08:40] ---
Daru, your phone's fine.
[08:42] ---
What should the subject be?
[08:43] ---
Let me see.
[08:44] ---
"Christina is a pervert."
[08:46] ---
I told you that's off-limits.
[08:48] ---
Then we'll split the difference
and go with "Okarin is a pervert"...
[08:52] ---
What?
[08:53] ---
Hashida-san, good job!
[08:55] ---
Okay, sending.
[08:58] ---
Now we wait for the message
to arrive at the phone...
[09:00] ---
I bet it's ready now!
[09:03] ---
Wait!
[09:17] ---
Are you okay?
[09:18] ---
Yeah...
[09:21] ---
Gotta turn on the fan!
[09:27] ---
What is this?
[09:29] ---
The EM waves maybe?
[09:31] ---
Don't be stupid.
[09:33] ---
A microwave's EM waves
couldn't split a desk so quickly.
[09:38] ---
They're all black!
[09:40] ---
And I just bought them, too!
[09:42] ---
What do we do about the hole in the floor?
[09:44] ---
If Mr. Braun finds that,
we're in serious trouble.
[09:53] ---
Well?
[09:54] ---
It's here.
[09:55] ---
7/24, 17:30.
[09:59] ---
It went back to the past...
[10:05] ---
Did you find something?
[10:06] ---
Yes. It's all coming together!
[10:08] ---
I can see it...
[10:09] ---
The one answer this all points to!
[10:12] ---
Really?
[10:14] ---
The banana, split off from
the bunch, returned to it!
[10:17] ---
The message traveled five days into the past.
[10:19] ---
No way. You can't mean...
[10:22] ---
That's right!
[10:23] ---
The Phone Microwave
is...
[10:30] ---
...a time machine!
[10:44] ---
Thirteen messages?
[10:48] ---
The lightning...
[10:51] ---
Oh, right.
[10:52] ---
I dubbed her the "Shining Finger."
[10:55] ---
But this many?
[10:58] ---
"Message me now."
[10:59] ---
"Are you asleep?"
[11:01] ---
"How long are you going to sleep?"
[11:03] ---
Daru?
[11:08] ---
Wanna go for a walk?
[11:11] ---
What's wrong?
[11:12] ---
Damage is pretty bad.
[11:14] ---
I worked all night,
with nothing to show for it.
[11:16] ---
I regret trying.
[11:19] ---
Why aren't they turning
into gel-banas anymore?
[11:24] ---
Hell if I know.
[11:26] ---
That was the only time
we were able to send a message.
[11:28] ---
Shouldn't we call Miss Makise back?
[11:32] ---
You know that's not happening.
[11:34] ---
No way.
[11:35] ---
A time machine?
[11:40] ---
She never came back.
[11:42] ---
What was that?
[11:45] ---
What is this?
[11:46] ---
The LHC.
[11:50] ---
The Large Hadron Collider,
[11:51] ---
SERN's particle accelerator.
[11:54] ---
Makes you feel better, just looking at it...
[12:00] ---
SERN maintains an exclusive monopoly
on time machines.
[12:06] ---
John Titor...
[12:09] ---
Oh, the one you were talking about.
[12:12] ---
@channel can't get enough of the guy.
[12:14] ---
What is SERN?
[12:16] ---
Titor was saying that they finish
a time machine by 2034!
[12:21] ---
I have no idea what you're talking about...
[12:23] ---
Just tell me!
[12:24] ---
What is SERN?
[12:25] ---
Calm down.
[12:27] ---
It's the acronym for the European Organization
in Nuclear Research and Particle Physics.
[12:31] ---
Its HQ is just outside Geneva.
[12:33] ---
Like the name suggests,
its main work is in particle physics.
[12:37] ---
And it has some of the world's best facilities for it:
[12:40] ---
The Low Energy Antiproton Ring.
[12:42] ---
The Proton Synchrotron Booster.
[12:44] ---
The Large Electron–Positron Collider...
[12:46] ---
And the last boss,
[12:48] ---
the world's biggest particle accelerator,
[12:51] ---
Large Hadron Collider-tan!
[12:55] ---
There were rumors that the LHC
could generate a mini-black hole.
[13:05] ---
A black hole...
[13:06] ---
Daru.
[13:07] ---
'Sup?
[13:09] ---
Didn't one proposed time travel method
[13:13] ---
use a mini-black hole?
[13:16] ---
Yeah, it did.
[13:18] ---
But you heard Miss Makise's lecture, right?
[13:21] ---
She said creating a
black hole was impossible.
[13:25] ---
But if the LHC exists,
[13:27] ---
then it's possible...
[13:28] ---
It is!
[13:29] ---
No, it isn't.
[13:30] ---
SERN's publicly denied it.
[13:32] ---
But they say that
where there's smoke, there's fire.
[13:36] ---
It's me.
SIGN No Cell Phones
[13:38] ---
That's right. I know.
[13:40] ---
El Psy Congroo.
[13:42] ---
Who, exactly, are you fighting?
[13:45] ---
There's only one thing for us to do now.
[13:48] ---
Go see Feyris-tan!
[13:50] ---
No!
[13:51] ---
You're a super haker, right?
[13:53] ---
You should smile knowingly!
[13:55] ---
It's "hacker," not "haker," okay?
[13:57] ---
You understand the rest?
[13:58] ---
Not a bit.
[14:02] ---
Hack into SERN.
[14:05] ---
That's it.
[14:06] ---
Okarin... This is a joke, right?
[14:09] ---
You need to find out what
evil they're up to
[14:11] ---
and get a hint about the time machine.
[14:14] ---
Whether we make the Phone Microwave
into a real time machine
[14:18] ---
or let it rest forever in the lab storeroom,
is up to your skills.
[14:22] ---
Don't blame me for the outcome!
[14:24] ---
Two orders of gyuudon.
[14:26] ---
800 yen, total.
[14:27] ---
Okarin!
[14:32] ---
Slacking off again?
[14:34] ---
Yeah, the shop's boring.
[14:37] ---
Nothing to do.
[14:38] ---
You're more of a bicycle shop now.
[14:41] ---
Anyway, what are you doing
on the second floor?
[14:45] ---
Future Gadget Lab, right?
[14:48] ---
Where did you learn that name?
SIGN Future Gadget Lab
[14:53] ---
If you know that much, then fine.
[14:56] ---
We're fighting against an organization
[14:58] ---
that rules the world from the shadows.
[15:01] ---
Just now, we're hacking into that organization.
[15:06] ---
So, is SERN that organization?
[15:10] ---
How did you know?
[15:11] ---
I'm sorry.
[15:12] ---
Actually, I overheard you guys.
[15:16] ---
I said I was bored.
[15:17] ---
So, accidentally...
[15:18] ---
You were spying on us?
[15:20] ---
I can hear you.
[15:23] ---
But don't worry.
[15:24] ---
I'm good at keeping my mouth shut.
[15:29] ---
Again?
[15:30] ---
What? A message that someone died?
[15:32] ---
Someone died?
[15:33] ---
N-No... I was just kidding.
[15:36] ---
This girl's obsessed with some old PC
[15:39] ---
called an IBN 5100.
[15:41] ---
An IBN?
[15:42] ---
You know it?
[15:45] ---
Um... Yeah.
[15:47] ---
You heard that, too?
[15:49] ---
No, I saw it on the internet.
[15:52] ---
You know, that guy who claimed
to be a time traveler?
[15:55] ---
John Titor, was it?
[15:57] ---
Titor?
[15:58] ---
It was on @channel.
[16:01] ---
The IBN 5100 was created before BASIC.
[16:06] ---
So it can read IBN's proprietary
programming languages or something...
[16:10] ---
Really?!
[16:11] ---
Yeah.
[16:12] ---
Come to think of it, the Titor
who appeared in 2000 also...
[16:20] ---
You all seem to have fixed ideas
about the nature of time.
[16:22] [Messenger] ---
031 Name: Nameless Prophet-san [sage]
John Titor took a dump, and now the universe is doomed...
[16:26] [Messenger] ---
032 Name: Chestnut Rice and Kamehameha [sage]
This is getting more disappointing
None of this is really concrete
I realize you're doing your best to sound realistic, but you can't fool me.
[16:27] ---
Time isn't a single line,
moving from past to future.
[16:34] ---
Let's say I go back in time and
kill someone we'll call "A."
[16:40] ---
This alters something called
the divergence number,
[16:44] ---
and the world line moves to a world without A.
[16:50] ---
When there's a world line move,
people's memories are altered.
[16:54] ---
In other words, memories of the
world line where A existed are deleted,
[16:59] ---
replaced with memories of a
world line where A doesn't exist.
[17:06] ---
I'm more interested in how SERN,
[17:08] [Messenger] ---
214 Name: Chestunut Rice and Kamehama [sage]
I'm more interested in how SERN,
a research organization, ends up as planetary ruler,
a question I've been asking for a while now.
[17:09] ---
a research organization,
ends up as planetary ruler,
[17:13] ---
a question I've been asking for a while now.
[17:15] ---
Don't believe what SERN says.
[17:15] [Messenger] ---
343 Name: Nameless Prophet [sage]
And this results in a dystopia?
[17:18] ---
They've already succeeded in
creating a mini-black hole.
[17:19] [Messenger] ---
357 Name: Nameless Prophet [sage]
What's a dystopia?
[17:23] ---
It would be easiest to describe a dystopia
as the revival of communism,
[17:27] ---
and the world's reversion to
18th-century living standards.
[17:32] ---
By 2036, SERN holds most of
the world's science and technology.
[17:37] [Messenger] ---
472 Name: Nameless Prophet [sage]
Guess what I had for dinner tomorrow!
[17:38] [Messenger] ---
473 Name:
I want to know the future!
[17:38] ---
And you need the IBN 5100
to change this future?
[17:43] ---
That's correct.
[17:45] ---
I need the IBN 5100's abilities
to stop their plans.
[17:51] ---
The John Titor who appeared in 2000
said the same thing.
[17:51] [Messenger] ---
558 Name: Hououin Kyouma [age]
The John Titor who appeared in 2000
said the same thing...
[17:52] [Messenger] ---
559 Name: Nameless Prophet [sage]
Dude, just shut up already.
[17:56] ---
The "me" who appeared ten years ago?
[17:59] ---
As I said, I've unfortunately
never been to the year 2000.
[18:05] ---
But it's possible you saw me
in a different world line.
[18:10] ---
Interesting.
[18:11] ---
I'd like to talk to you in detail.
[18:15] ---
This is my address.
[18:15] [Messenger] ---
In 2015, WW3 occurs.
In 2036, Earth is polluted by nuclear warfare.
I've time traveled from 2036 to get an IBN 5100.
The IBN 5100 has a hidden function.
Only a few IBN engineers know this.
[18:17] ---
If you contact me, I'll answer.
[18:26] ---
I've almost got it.
[18:28] ---
If I can just get the SQL table list,
figuring out the password should be easy.
[18:33] ---
Good morning!
[18:35] ---
Mayuri?
[18:37] ---
What brings you here so early?
[18:39] ---
I heard you've been up two nights in a row,
so I brought snacks.
[18:44] ---
Here you go.
[18:46] ---
Canned oden!
[18:47] ---
Great!
[18:48] ---
Bring me another sometime, Mayuri.
[18:50] ---
Mayushii doesn't have enough
pocket money to treat you too often.
[18:56] ---
I need to buy my Rai-Net sausage, also!
[18:59] ---
Upa again?
[19:00] ---
So I want you to enjoy this!
[19:04] ---
There's some for Daru-kun
and Kurisu-chan, too.
[19:07] ---
That's not it!
[19:09] ---
He's not listening at all.
[19:11] ---
I told him to rest, though.
[19:13] ---
His super haker's soul is burning bright!
[19:18] ---
Don't say "haker"!
[19:23] ---
But it's bad to nose around in
other people's secrets, isn't it?
[19:26] ---
This is to reveal SERN's plots.
[19:29] ---
Even so...
[19:30] ---
I'm sure Kurisu-chan left
because she was mad.
[19:35] ---
No, that had nothing to do with the hacking.
[19:38] ---
My assistant ran off on her own.
[19:40] ---
I wonder if she'll come back...
[19:47] ---
Huh?
[19:48] ---
What?
[19:49] ---
I'll trade a satsuma for a beef strip.
[19:52] ---
Then I'd rather have an uzura.
[19:54] ---
No.
[19:55] ---
I like uzura almost as much
as I like beef strips.
[19:58] ---
Mayushii likes uzura, too!
[20:00] ---
Then I'll give you a chikuwa instead.
[20:03] ---
I guess I like chikuwa more than satsuma.
[20:05] ---
Okay, then negotiations are concluded.
[20:07] ---
Then here's my beef strip...
[20:10] ---
I ate it already.
[20:12] ---
When did you...
[20:15] ---
It was good.
[20:20] ---
I got it!
[20:23] ---
I got it! I got it! I got it!
I got it! I got it!
[20:26] ---
Now give up, and show me everything.
[20:29] ---
I got it!
[20:31] ---
ID get!
[20:31] ---
You did it?
[20:32] ---
Mission complete!
[20:35] ---
Wow!
[20:36] ---
I don't understand, but wow.
[20:38] ---
Well, the hacking's done,
[20:40] ---
but there are limits to what I can see,
without being an admin.
[20:44] ---
It's like I can only see the boobs.
[20:47] ---
You're so naughty, Daru-kun.
[20:48] ---
What did you get?
[20:49] ---
So far, just some e-mail.
[20:53] ---
English?
[20:54] ---
Let's get Dr. Excite in here.
[20:56] ---
No way, that's a pain.
[20:59] ---
It says "Hi Paul!"
[21:01] ---
We don't need your acting.
[21:03] ---
No?
[21:05] ---
"The LHC is working well.
[21:08] ---
It's as fickle as a cat,
but for the past month,
[21:10] ---
it's been working surprisingly well."
[21:13] ---
What's he talking about?
[21:15] ---
Anyway, does anything here
mention a time machine?
[21:19] ---
The phrase "time machine" doesn't show up,
[21:22] ---
but in the last month, the word "Z-program"
has been used over one hundred times.
[21:27] ---
Let's see...
[21:28] ---
"Z-Program Experiment Report 137."
[21:34] ---
"The mini-black hole mission
has already been established,
[21:39] ---
so I'll skip that report."
[21:42] ---
Mini-black hole...
[21:43] ---
Looks right.
[21:44] ---
They publicly said that those
experiments were a failure.
[21:48] ---
What else does it say?
[21:49] ---
"Experiment result..."
[21:54] ---
"Human is dead,
[21:56] ---
mismatch."
[21:59] ---
Human is dead?
[22:03] ---
Someone...
[22:06] ---
...died.