E22 - The Seal Shrine – The Immortal Man's Tricks?

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:13] ---
    A sound "soul"
[00:16] ---
    dwells within a sound mind
[00:18] ---
    and a sound body.
[00:26] ---
    It's... all right...
[00:36] ---
    It's not that you don't know
    how to interact with people.
[00:41] ---
    It's just that no one ever
    came to interact with you.
[00:46] ---
    So...
[00:51] ---
    Will you be my friend? Please?
[01:11] ---
    The madness can't be suppressed, huh?
[01:15] ---
    You couldn't have been any more wrong.
[01:17] ---
    Besides, music doesn't
    suit you as a hobby, either.
[01:27] ---
    He left.
[01:30] ---
    Well, that's all right. The
    door will always be unlocked.
[01:34] ---
    Still, that girl's power...
[01:43] ---
    Could it actually be an
    exorcism wavelength?
[02:02] ---
    If the lamps of linked souls
[02:05] ---
    point to your heart,
[02:08] ---
    do you hear the echoes now,
[02:11] ---
    stronger than words?
[02:26] ---
    We barely ever look each other in the eye,
[02:28] ---
    yet our very fates are becoming entwined
[02:31] ---
    Our destinations overlap completely,
[02:34] ---
    so run with me through the slippery night
[02:37] ---
    Though the glare that
    comes from being too tenacious
[02:42] ---
    may carry over into bad dreams
[02:49] ---
    If the lamps of linked souls
[02:52] ---
    point to your heart,
[02:54] ---
    do you hear the echoes now,
[02:58] ---
    stronger than words?
[03:01] ---
    The reasons why we ever met don't matter
[03:03] ---
    We are drawn together
[03:06] ---
    The more we are hurt
    in the moments we touch,
[03:09] ---
    the clearer things become
[03:21] ---
    The black blood has stopped...
[03:24] ---
    It would seem the fight at
    the second barrier has ended.
[03:28] ---
    Both of their souls are
    starting to calm down.
[03:31] ---
    What about Maka?!
[03:33] ---
    Is Maka all right?
[03:35] ---
    Yes.
[03:37] ---
    It looks like she managed to grasp
    the Demon Sword's soul wavelength.
[03:41] ---
    The Demon Sword's wavelength
    has also been stabilized.
[03:46] ---
    I've never cried this much before...
[03:50] ---
    Now I'm not even sure
    how to interact with my tears...
[03:55] ---
    Maka. We're running out of time.
[03:59] ---
    Let's hurry ahead.
[04:00] ---
    But we can't just leave him like this.
[04:04] ---
    Just our luck...
[04:05] ---
    Screw you guys!
[04:09] ---
    Screw you, dumbass!
[04:11] ---
    Whoa! You're tiny!
[04:12] ---
    What the hell did you do?!
    Why am I so little now?!
[04:15] ---
    What, what? How should I know?!
[04:18] ---
    Why, you...!
[04:19] ---
    You and Crona, being friends?
    That's a load of crap!
[04:23] ---
    Who'd wanna be friends
    with someone like this?!
[04:25] ---
    He ain't any fun at all!
[04:27] ---
    Quit it...
[04:29] ---
    I got it! You wanna bully him, dontcha?!
[04:31] ---
    That's it, isn't it? Kicking his
    butt is perfect for relieving stress!
[04:35] ---
    That's what you want, isn't it?!
[04:37] ---
    Get away, runt!
[04:39] ---
    Well, too bad! I'm the only
    one who can beat up Crona!
[04:42] ---
    --You can't have him!
[04:42] ---
    --Quit it...
[04:44] ---
    Quit it!
[04:55] ---
    Gwargh!
[04:57] ---
    Gwa?
[04:58] ---
    How dare you punch me, Crona!
[05:01] ---
    Do you know how it feels
    to be hit by you?! Do you?!
[05:04] ---
    N-No...
[05:06] ---
    It's like, you know!
[05:08] ---
    It feels like when you haven't
    crapped for three days and three nights
[05:11] ---
    and then get a toilet water
    splash-back bonus when you unload it all!
[05:14] ---
    I can't understand from
    that crude comparison...
[05:18] ---
    I've heard enough of your impudence!
[05:20] ---
    I'll handle this! You guys go ahead!
[05:23] ---
    I'll hold him off here!
[05:26] ---
    Hey, now!
[05:27] ---
    Quit it, you pervert!
[05:30] ---
    Uhh...
[05:31] ---
    Yeeeah, we leave it in your hands.
[05:36] ---
    S-Someone! Help!
[05:41] ---
    Don't die, now.
[05:47] ---
    "The Seal Shrine...
    The Immortal Man's Tricks?"
[05:53] ---
    I wonder if the others caught up
    with the guys with the black blood.
[05:57] ---
    Are your wounds okay?
[06:00] ---
    Some black scabs have stopped the bleeding.
[06:02] ---
    I think they formed when the
    black blood inside me went away.
[06:07] ---
    But what made the black
    blood inside you disappear?
[06:14] ---
    I don't know. That's a good question.
[06:21] ---
    Anyway, if they inject
    black blood into the Kishin..
[06:24] ---
    We need to catch up with
    Kid and Black☆Star!
[06:32] ---
    It looks like Kid went this way.
[06:36] ---
    I hope he's all right...
[06:38] ---
    Damn! At least leave me something to do!
[06:42] ---
    Plus, it's too dark for me to stand out!
[06:46] ---
    Your shouting is making
    you stand out! Let's hurry!
[06:50] ---
    Alright!
[06:51] ---
    I'm gonna leave Kid in the dust!
[06:58] ---
    Everything's a real mess now.
[07:01] ---
    It's almost like the entrails of old ruins.
[07:04] ---
    Don't get distracted!
[07:05] ---
    You don't need to look at the mess!
    Think about symmetrical stuff!
[07:09] ---
    Butterfly!
[07:11] ---
    The number 8!
[07:14] ---
    What is it?! Are you having a reaction?!
[07:17] ---
    No...
[07:19] ---
    I sense the Kishin's wavelength...
[07:45] ---
    Kid?
[07:46] ---
    Are you okay?
[07:50] ---
    Yeah... I've never sensed
    this much pressure before...
[07:56] ---
    The Kishin is up ahead, right?
[07:59] ---
    What's it like?
[08:01] ---
    What's it like? That's
    a very vague question.
[08:05] ---
    My father only mentioned it in
    passing, so I don't know very much.
[08:10] ---
    He defeated Asura and tore off
    all his skin in order to seal him away.
[08:17] ---
    Sounds like your dad used to be
    pretty scary. Why did he do that?
[08:22] ---
    To make a bag to seal Asura in.
[08:25] ---
    It needed to hold Asura's soul,
    body, and madness, you see.
[08:30] ---
    So his own skin made the perfect seal.
[08:35] ---
    My father removed all of Asura's blood
[08:39] ---
    and stuffed his withered
    body and soul into the bag.
[08:43] ---
    Asura's body is starved for blood.
[08:47] ---
    And that's why he wants black blood?
[08:50] ---
    Probably.
[08:51] ---
    Kid! Heat source detected ahead!
[08:54] ---
    What?!
[09:03] ---
    Cannon fire?! Where from?!
[09:09] ---
    Magic Eye Cannon.
[09:12] ---
    So, he's the immortal...
[09:14] ---
    Damn. I was so distracted by the
    Kishin's madness that I didn't notice.
[09:21] ---
    Doesn't work on me!
[09:23] ---
    An immortal body, huh?
[09:25] ---
    Fighting him head-on
    will only be a waste of time.
[09:29] ---
    I'll have to throw him off balance
    and rush past when I get the chance.
[09:33] ---
    In terms of mobility, I
    have the upper hand.
[09:36] ---
    Once I get past him, he
    can't catch up to me!
[09:38] ---
    You're not going any further!
[09:42] ---
    Two swipes at my feet! So he
    is trying to reduce my mobility!
[09:48] ---
    I am immortal!
[09:49] ---
    In that case...! Here goes!
[09:51] ---
    Soul Resonance! Execution Mode!
[10:13] ---
    Resonance rate stable. Noise at 1.8%.
[10:17] ---
    Four seconds to feedback.
[10:20] ---
    Three.
[10:21] ---
    Two.
[10:22] ---
    One!
[10:23] ---
    Ready to fire!
[10:26] ---
    Death Cannon!
[10:48] ---
    That should've done something.
[10:49] ---
    I am immortal!
[10:50] ---
    What?! Not even the Death
    Cannon can make him flinch?!
[10:53] ---
    This distance isn't good!
[11:00] ---
    I am immortal!
[11:01] ---
    This distance isn't good!
[11:04] ---
    I need to put some distance
    between us for now!
[11:15] ---
    Just as I expected. He
    won't come after me needlessly.
[11:18] ---
    He only wants to prevent my progress.
[11:21] ---
    If I try to get past him by force,
    I'll literally get tripped up.
[11:25] ---
    Think...
[11:31] ---
    I know I can connect things somehow...
[11:35] ---
    Think...
[11:42] ---
    Okay! I've connected them!
[11:44] ---
    That pillar and this pillar
    used to be part of one pillar!
[11:48] ---
    And that piece lying against
    the wall was in the middle!
[11:51] ---
    Oh! Now it all connects beautifully!
[11:59] ---
    No, that's not necessarily
    what I'm thinking.
[12:03] ---
    Well, actually, it does bother me, but...
[12:06] ---
    It's okay, Kid! Try to focus!
[12:09] ---
    Yeah...
[12:10] ---
    If you wanna play a puzzle
    game, I'll join you. I love puzzles.
[12:15] ---
    How dare you mock me!
[12:17] ---
    Damn... Where the hell are
    that statue's broken arms?!
[12:22] ---
    W-What the hell?! That
    statue's trunk is junk!
[12:27] ---
    Shut up! That's a stupid joke!
[12:29] ---
    No, that's not right. Stop it.
[12:32] ---
    That pillar... Could it go over there?
[12:34] ---
    Kid!
[12:36] ---
    Pillar, statue, trunk,
    left, down, up, right, trunk...
[12:41] ---
    This is bad.
[12:42] ---
    The mere fact that Kid
    could enter this chaotic room
[12:45] ---
    was amazing enough!
[12:47] ---
    But at this rate, his mind will
    be worn down until he goes mad!
[12:50] ---
    "scratch scratch"
[12:51] ---
    Oh no! He's scratching
    his head at light speed!
[12:53] ---
    He's having one of his reactions!
[12:55] ---
    Sis...
[12:56] ---
    We gotta do something!
[13:01] ---
    What do we do?! We gotta
    change the feeling in the air!
[13:04] ---
    Yahoo!
[13:06] ---
    Sorry we're late!
[13:08] ---
    We caught up!
[13:12] ---
    We, no, I win!
[13:15] ---
    Too bad! No Kishin revival for you!
[13:18] ---
    Fool! The person with the
    black blood is further ahead!
[13:21] ---
    What?! That's not good!
[13:24] ---
    What are you doing here, then?
[13:28] ---
    Whoa! Where'd you come from?!
[13:32] ---
    Nice, Black☆Star! Now we can
    get Kid to focus on the werewolf!
[13:37] ---
    Kid! Look!
[13:39] ---
    That man has a ball and
    chain on his left foot only!
[13:44] ---
    So he does. It disgusts me!
[13:47] ---
    Yes!
[13:48] ---
    Hey, you! No one's allowed
    to stand in my way!
[13:52] ---
    --Let's go, Tsubaki!
[13:54] ---
    --Right!
[13:54] ---
    Let's give him backup!
[13:56] ---
    Bring it on!
[13:59] ---
    The other runt is the problem...
[14:01] ---
    Here we go! Speed☆Star!
[14:07] ---
    He's fast!
[14:07] ---
    Above?!
[14:14] ---
    Crap!
[14:15] ---
    Nin!
[14:17] ---
    I am immortal...
[14:19] ---
    I'm just getting started!
[14:21] ---
    What the...?! Is this boy joking around?!
[14:25] ---
    There's something strange about this...
[14:28] ---
    He never tried to avoid any of my attacks,
[14:31] ---
    but he’s desperately
    trying to dodge Black☆Star’s...
[14:34] ---
    Why?
[14:37] ---
    Oh!
[14:40] ---
    Now I see. We've been had.
[14:43] ---
    H-Hey!
[14:44] ---
    What's the deal?! Don't
    make me tear you apart!
[14:48] ---
    My favorite number is eight.
[14:50] ---
    Go ahead and try, if you dare. But...
[14:54] ---
    you can't do anything as you are now.
[14:58] ---
    Looks like the jig is up.
[15:06] ---
    H-Hey!
[15:08] ---
    Whoa!
[15:09] ---
    Magic Eye. Is this your spell?
[15:13] ---
    Yeah. Spatial magic. Forwarding Vision.
[15:18] ---
    It displays a live image
    of me in a specified location.
[15:22] ---
    How dare you go berserk
    on top of my Tadpole Jackson!
[15:25] ---
    You'll pay for this!
[15:27] ---
    It's not my fault! This is the only
    way we can keep moving forward!
[15:32] ---
    How did you figure it out?
[15:34] ---
    You never tried to dodge my shots.
[15:38] ---
    But you didn’t want
    Black☆Star’s attacks to hit you.
[15:42] ---
    Because we'd realize you're just
    an image if he actually touched you.
[15:47] ---
    I assume that initial cannon
    blast came from behind the image.
[15:51] ---
    To make the image seem like the real deal.
[15:54] ---
    Plus, people generally prefer to
    attack immortals from a distance.
[15:59] ---
    It was a nice trick that
    utilized that trait.
[16:02] ---
    But the real question is...!
[16:04] ---
    Why didn't you notice
    when you stabbed him?!
[16:06] ---
    Well, you know me!
[16:08] ---
    I figured I had unleashed
    such incredible moves
[16:11] ---
    that I couldn't even feel it stab him!
[16:13] ---
    Nonsense! Besides,
    Tsubaki should've realized it too!
[16:17] ---
    I just thought that he
    had improved a lot, too...
[16:22] ---
    Oh, geez. Blind parental love
    has nothing on blind weapon love.
[16:27] ---
    Damn! They just bought
    themselves a lot of time!
[16:31] ---
    Let’s go, Black☆Star!
[16:32] ---
    Yeah!
[16:33] ---
    I need more action!
[16:44] ---
    You have such good, honest
    students, Dr. Stein.
[16:48] ---
    They got caught up in all
    the assignments I gave them.
[16:52] ---
    You sense it too, don't you?
[16:55] ---
    It appears the Kishin's
    madness has started to overflow...
[16:59] ---
    Here we go, Senpai.
[17:01] ---
    Yeah!
[17:04] ---
    Losing your cool won't
    get you anywhere now.
[17:06] ---
    Say. Tell me...
[17:10] ---
    How do you raise a good child?
[17:20] ---
    Tadpole Jackson!
[17:22] ---
    Are you okay, Tadpole Jackson?!
[17:24] ---
    Look at this, Eruka.
[17:26] ---
    What?
[17:51] ---
    The Kishin must be through here...
[17:54] ---
    Let's hurry! Those kids will catch up soon!
[20:00] ---
    F-Free...
[20:26] ---
    My face! No more! I'm
    going home and hibernating!
[20:32] ---
    Your face? What about your face?!
[20:36] ---
    Hey! Pull yourself together!
[20:54] ---
    An immortal like me... dying?
[21:07] ---
    What the...?! What am I doing?!
[21:12] ---
    What? It was an illusion?
[21:14] ---
    This is the Kishin's madness?
[21:43] ---
    It's... back there...
[21:57] ---
    It's beginning. If we knock
[22:01] ---
    on the doors that connect you and me,
[22:05] ---
    what kind of future will be waiting for us?
[22:13] ---
    What grown-ups seek
[22:18] ---
    is a perfect style,
[22:21] ---
    where everything comes together someday,
[22:25] ---
    as though it were a bunch of gears
[22:31] ---
    God, if you're there, listen to me
[22:35] ---
    You have to watch these days pass by,
[22:39] ---
    with moments like these that will never,
[22:45] ---
    ever repeat themselves
[22:48] ---
    Which is why there are so many boys & girls
[22:52] ---
    who want to be children
[22:54] ---
    just a little while longer
[22:58] ---
    out there in the world,
    hiding out of sight and dreaming
[23:05] ---
    in this story
[23:18] ---
    Senpai. Let's finish this in one shot.
[23:20] ---
    But how do you plan to cook her goose?!
[23:23] ---
    Chop up Chinese pork, scallions,
    naruto, onions, and green peppers,
[23:25] ---
    and then place a beaten
    egg into a well-heated wok.
[23:29] ---
    Once the egg has started to
    fluff up, remove it from the wok
[23:31] ---
    then stir-fry rice and
    the main ingredients!
[23:33] ---
    Not that definition of "cook"!
[23:34] ---
    Next time on Soul Eater, episode 23:
[23:37] ---
    "Dead or Alive... In the Rift
    between Revival and Dazzlement?"
[23:39] ---
    Your soul is mine!
[23:41] ---
    That's how you make Stein's
    Special Tuna and Tomato Chilled Pasta!
[23:44] ---
    Weren't you making fried rice?