E9 - Release Yourself / Bad, Bad Whiskey / Can't Get Any Harder

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:21] Hero
    Normal attack, buffed by multiple
    attack power enhancement spells!
[00:33] Holy Sword
    Well done, Hero...
[00:35] Holy Sword
    You have done well defeating
    the Guardian of the Holy Sword...
[00:39] Hero
    This is the Holy Sword...
[00:42] Hero
    The legendary Holy Sword...
[00:45] Hero
    The holy sword of legend?
[00:47] Holy Sword
    Dear Hero...
[00:48] Hero
    Squa... Eni...?
[00:51] Holy Sword
    Before you receive thy sword,
    answer my question...
[00:57] Holy Sword
    What is true strength to you?
[01:02] Hero
    True strength...?
[01:06] Hero
    It's case by case... I'd say it depends
    on the time and situation.
[01:10] Holy Sword
    It is unfortunate, but it seems you are
    not ready to receive thy sword yet.
[01:15] Holy Sword
    True strength...
[01:18] Holy Sword
    When you've found the answer,
    come once again to this place...
[01:24] Hero
    True... strength...
[01:29] Hero
    What is that?
[01:30] Akemi
    If you have to ask that
    at a run-down snack bar,
[01:33] Akemi
    it's not something you'd ever understand...
[01:42] [SONG] Sign
    Snack       Basue
[01:47] [SONG] Sign
    Snack       Basue
SIGN    (You're thinking too much)
[03:09] Yamada
    Um... Who is... he?
[03:12] Akemi
    The Hero.
[03:14] Yamada
    Hero...
[03:16] Akemi
    Speaking of which,
[03:16] Akemi
    it's bothersome to have the hero come here
    on a regular basis, you know...
[03:20] Hero
    Then why is there a save point set up here?
[03:23] Akemi
    What?! The heck is that?!
[03:25] Akemi
    What kind of garbage would this thing
    even be considered,
[03:26] Akemi
    according to the city's waste classifications?!
[03:27] Hero
    And isn't she the old hag fortune teller
    who gives you hints for the adventure?
[03:33] Akemi
    True. She does frequently give advice
    on the adventure known as life, but...
[03:38] Basue
    In my case, I only search
    for the words you want to hear
[03:44] Basue
    and encourage you to pursue them, is all...
[03:47] Akemi
    Nice joke!
[03:49] Akemi
    That Holy Sword, was it?
[03:52] Akemi
    Wouldn't it have been better
    to just ignore it and take the sword anyway?
[03:55] Akemi
    You know, maybe only those who can steal it
    by force are worthy of its power?
[04:01] Hero
    It's not good to say something a cynical
    junior high school brat would say.
[04:05] Akemi
    If you're going to say something
    as sensible as that,
[04:07] Akemi
    could you at least go by our dress code
    and wear something from this world?
[04:10] Hero
    Then what is true strength to you,
    junior hostess?
[04:14] Akemi
    True strength to me?
[04:19] Akemi
    Money.
[04:22] Junior high school brat
    Yeah, life is all about the money.
[04:24] Adult Junior high school brat
    It's not just about the money!
    I'm going to find my dream job!
[04:27] Middle-aged Junior high school brat
    Money... Money... Money... Money!
[04:30] Hero
    Are you the junior high school brat who
    thinks he knows what the real world is about?
[04:32] Akemi
    I know it sounds like something
    a junior high school brat would say,
[04:36] Akemi
    but I stepped out into the real world
    and found out it really is all about the money!
[04:39] Akemi
    I don't know what true strength is...
[04:43] Akemi
    What do you think, old hag fortune teller?
[04:45] Basue
    The answer that lies
    within this crystal ball says...
[04:49] Basue
    true strength is...
[04:52] Basue
    love!
[04:53] Akemi
    That's the answer of a junior high school brat
    who grew up with parents who loved him.
[04:57] Yamada
    Besides, don't you think
    true strength is something
[05:00] Yamada
    only a junior high school brat would think about?
[05:03] Akemi
    I know, right? No matter how you say it,
    finding the answer to true strength
[05:07] Akemi
    just has that junior
    high school brat vibe to it...
[05:09] Hero
    And pondering it is making me feel stupid,
     so please stop.
[05:12] Akemi
    Well, I think money is stronger
    than love, so...
[05:17] Basue
    Huh? Is that so?
[05:19] Akemi
    Because life really is all about the money!
[05:22] Akemi
    These words are widely
    acknowledged by so many people!
[05:25] Akemi
    If you have money, you can buy anything!
[05:27] Akemi
    Love is... only a fleeting thing
    compared to money!
[05:31] Basue
    Negative!
[05:33] Basue
    Love is!
[05:34] Basue
    Calling it a "fleeting thing"
    is nothing but an excuse!
[05:37] Basue
    Love is!
[05:38] Basue
    Very precious!
[05:40] Basue
    If it's true love, there is no way
    it would lose to money!
[05:45] Basue
    A rich life without love is...
[05:48] Basue
    Know that it is empty!
[05:50] Akemi
    If you're going to shake up capitalism
    with those words, Mama,
[05:51] Basue {background}
    Love... Love...
[05:54] Akemi
    then prepare to be met
    with complete resistance!
[05:56] Basue
    Besides,
[05:58] Basue
    Akemi-chan, you're still in debt
    because of your previous man,
[06:04] Basue
    which means you chose love over money.
    Wouldn't that make love the winner?
[06:10] Akemi
    In a way, it sounds like I bought
    love with money,
[06:13] Akemi
    but I've completely lost... my will... to fight.
[06:17] Hero
    Then we're agreeing that true strength is love.
[06:20] Yamada
    Ah, wait a minute, please.
[06:22] Hero
    Yes?
[06:24] Yamada
    If you say it in a manner that gives away
    that you got the answer from someone else,
[06:29] Yamada
    don't you think the Holy Sword
    will refuse that answer
[06:32] Yamada
    since it's not straight from your heart?
[06:35] Hero
    Are you saying people who act as if they've
     accomplished something themselves,
[06:38] Hero
    but really looked it up in wiki walkthrough
    guides or watched videos of it, should shove it?
[06:42] Basue
    Don't bash us with an example
    that wouldn't even exist in your world.
[06:48] Yamada
    In all honesty, I don't even think the person
    asking understands what true strength is.
[06:54] Yamada
    Instead of answering it straight,
    why don't you try to keep it vague.
[06:58] Yamada
    That way it kind of sounds more convincing.
[07:01] Hero
    For example?
[07:03] Yamada
    Let's see...
[07:06] Yamada
    Something like...
    the strength to overcome oneself?
[07:10] Hero
    The strength... to overcome oneself?
[07:22] Hero
    Die.
[07:23] Hero
    Myself.
[07:26] Hero
    Suicide?
[07:28] Yamada
    It's not always about putting
    your life on the line, you know!
[07:31] Basue
    Still, in a way, they're related...
[07:35] Basue
    It's the power to overcome
    the pain and fear of death.
[07:39] Basue
    To overcome oneself means
    to control your own mind.
[07:44] Akemi
    Is it like a "I really want these clothes,
    but I only have enough for food this month...
[07:48] Akemi
    Oh! Just buy it anyway!" sort of way?
[07:50] Yamada
    You're not controlling it at all!
[07:52] Basue
    Still, in a way, they're related...
[07:55] Yamada
    How?!
[07:59] Akemi
    Poop.
[08:00] Basue
    Yes, that too, in a way, is related...
[08:03] Yamada
    That's just about having a bowel movement!
[08:05] Yamada
    Please stop making irresponsible remarks!
[08:08] Basue
    Negative!
[08:09] Basue
    To overcome oneself
    means thinking, "Oh, this is bad,"
[08:13] Basue
    and still being able to overcome that obstacle!
[08:15] Basue
    Which means!
[08:17] Basue
    It's the strength to be able to
    plop poop according to one's own will.
[08:21] Yamada
    Wha...
[08:22] Akemi
    Mama... I know I was wrong to say poop
    in the first place, but that's just wrong.
[08:29] Yamada and Akemi
    Don't force it!
[08:32] Hero
    It's no good... I feel like I'm going to
    lose some part of my humanity...
[08:36] Basue
    That's what it means to overcome one's
    humanity.
[08:41] Akemi
    You're the devil, Mama, for trying to
    intentionally make him plop poop!
[08:45] Basue
    There's no need to plop poop now...
[08:48] Basue
    However, if needed, it's true strength
    to be able to plop poop.
[08:54] Yamada
    When would you need to plop poop on command?
[08:58] Akemi
    Besides, don't you think
    you wouldn't need to seek true strength
[09:01] Akemi
    if you already know how to plop poop?
[09:03] Basue
    But it's the Holy Sword
    you get by plopping poop.
[09:07] Akemi
    Yeah, I don't think so.
[09:09] Basue
    Wouldn't you need that Holy Sword
    to beat the last boss?
[09:15] Hero
    No...
[09:23] Last Boss
    This is... my second transformation!
[09:28] Last Boss
    Hero... Your fate ends he—!
[09:32] Hero
    Normal attack, buffed by multiple
    attack power enhancement spells!
[09:38] Hero
    I was able to defeat him
    without the Holy Sword.
[09:44] Yamada
    What?
[09:46] Basue
    You... defeated him?
[09:49] Akemi
    Past tense?
[09:51] Hero
    Yep.
[09:53] Akemi
    What? If you already defeated
    the last boss, then
[09:56] Akemi
    you didn't need true strength
    or the Holy Sword?
[09:59] Hero
    No. Since I managed to defeat the ultimate
    side boss, the Guardian of the Holy Sword,
[10:04] Hero
    I want the ultimate weapon,
    the Holy Sword, as well.
[10:07] Yamada
    A completionist, huh.
[10:09] Basue
    Being able to plop poop at will is,
    in a way, completionist as well.
[10:14] Yamada
    I don't think so.
[10:16] Akemi
    Hey...
[10:19] Akemi
    Isn't the ultimate sword unnecessary,
    if you already defeated the ultimate boss?!
SIGN    (The me who can't get drunk)
[10:41] Akemi
    Since we have free time, I guess
    we could go organize the keep bottles.
[10:45] Kosame
    Keep... bottles?
[10:48] Akemi
    Kosame-chan, why don't you
    know about keep bottles
[10:52] Akemi
    when you've been working here since episode 3?
[10:55] Kosame
    I'm sorry...
[10:57] Akemi
    Well, it's all right.
[10:58] Akemi
    I'll just explain it for everyone here
    who doesn't know.
[11:02] Kosame
    Who are you talking to?
[11:05] Akemi
    A keep bottle is a system where the customer
[11:07] Akemi
    can buy a whole bottle
    and leave it at the bar to be kept.
[11:13] Akemi
    It's a better deal than
    ordering drinks one at a time.
[11:16] Kosame
    Oh, I see. Then, is there also a keep
    bottle for patrons like Tatsu-ni?
[11:23] Akemi
    Tatsu-ni keeps the expensive bottles while
    ordering cheap all-you-can-drink booze.
[11:29] Kosame
    Why is that?
[11:30] Akemi
    I have no idea. He's such a weirdo.
[11:33] Akemi
    Our keep bottles have
    a shelf life of about half a year.
[11:37] Akemi
    After that...
[11:39] Akemi
    We take responsibility to dispose of them!
[11:45] Akemi
    Here, have some free booze!
[11:46] Akemi
    On top of that, we're at work,
     so we're getting paid to drink free booze!
[11:50] Kosame
    Akemi-san.
[11:51] Akemi
    What?
[11:52] Kosame
    I was thinking...
[11:55] Akemi
    Yeah?
[11:58] Kosame
    Is booze... delicious?
[12:00] Akemi
    What a childish question.
[12:02] Akemi
    If you're asking me whether
    booze is delicious, well...
[12:08] Akemi
    Well...
[12:12] Akemi
    Oh...? Now that you mention it...
[12:15] Akemi
    Why am I gratefully
    drinking this stank water?
[12:20] Kosame
    I know it's a bit late, but it seems
    everyone is drinking just to get drunk
[12:24] Kosame
    and doesn't actually think
    it tastes delicious, you know?
[12:27] Akemi
    To add to that lateness, why did 
    you decide to work here, Kosame-chan?
SIGN    Snack Basue
[12:35] Hero
    Snack Basue.
SIGN    Snack Basue
SIGN    (Don't make me wait)
[12:50] Morita
    Hey, Akemi-chan.
[12:53] Morita
    Don't you think something's
    different about me today?
[12:57] Akemi
    Wake up!
[12:59] Morita
    I'm not talking in my sleep.
[13:01] Morita
    Come on... Take a closer look...
[13:05] Akemi
    Ugh, I feel like I'm getting sick...
[13:08] Morita
    That's a horrible thing to say. Seriously...
[13:11] Morita
    Well, that's also why I can bombard you
    with my love without hesitation, after all.
[13:16] Morita
    If I bombarded an ordinary girl with my love,
     I'd feel bad for them.
[13:21] Akemi
    Such casual darkness...
[13:26] Tatsu-ni
    Even if you look at me,
    I still don't know the answer.
[13:30] Akemi
    Is it because you're old?
[13:31] Tatsu-ni
    If that's the case, then the same goes
    for you, Akemi-chan, if you can't answer him.
[13:39] Akemi
    Hmm... Something different.
[13:43] Akemi
    Now that I'm looking...
    does your fur look nicer?
[13:46] Morita
    That sounds like you're looking at me
    like I'm some sort of animal!
[13:49] Akemi
    Then what is it, for crying out loud?
[13:53] Morita
    You can't tell?
[13:54] Akemi
    No.
[13:56] Morita
    Then I'll tell you...
[13:59] Morita
    Just now...
[14:01] Morita
    I'm quitting jerking off!
[14:05] Morita
    Well, hold on you two...
[14:08] Morita
    I think it'll be a story worth listening to.
[14:11] Morita
    If you think it's bad,
    I won't mind you throwing a towel at me—
[14:16] Morita
    Swift and fierce, I see...
[14:20] Morita
    Seriously, quitting is amazing, I tell you!
[14:23] Akemi
    Isn't this nonsense supposed to stop
    after I throw a towel?!
[14:27] Akemi
    Geez, why did you even think about
    doing something like that?
[14:32] Morita
    That's because... if I stop jerking off,
[14:35] Morita
    the book said my body and soul
    will become lighter.
[14:38] Akemi
    You say book, but isn't it just an ero-manga?
[14:42] Morita
    How did you know?!
[14:44] Akemi
    Your choice of reading material
     tends to be predictable.
[14:48] Akemi
    But I suppose you're doing a good job
    not jerking off, considering it's you, Morita?
[14:57] Morita
    Right?
[14:59] Morita
    For now, I'm limiting it to
     once every three days!
[15:02] Akemi
    That's still way too much!
[15:04] Morita
    No, not at all. I haven't been
    this patient since that school trip.
[15:08] Akemi
    Seeing how you couldn't control
    yourself for that four-day, three-night trip...
[15:12] Morita
    For that school trip, I somehow managed to
    overcome it by jerking off in the closet.
[15:14] Morita {background}
    Slap! Slap! Slap!
[15:17] Akemi
    We already heard about you tainting
[15:19] Akemi
    the sleeping area for one of
    Japan's favorite characters!
[15:23] Akemi
    Just as I thought, you can't
    call that quitting, Morita.
[15:27] Morita
    Akemi-chan, what's important is that you
    don't restrain yourself and continue on.
[15:33] Morita
    Even smokers take it one step at a time, right?
[15:36] Morita
    You gotta "beat yourself"
    in order to persevere!
[15:39] Akemi
    Beat yourself? Stop trying
    to sneak in perverse words!
[15:44] Tatsu-ni
    But Morita-chan, you hate
    sticking with things
[15:47] Tatsu-ni
    just as much as Akemi-chan does. Why all this?
[15:51] Morita
    I was thinking, this is the year
    I need to do something and...
[15:55] Tatsu-ni
    Yeah.
[15:57] Morita
    Do you know what hypnosis audio is?
[15:59] Tatsu-ni
    Hypnosis audio?
[16:01] Morita
    It's the thing where you get
    hypnotized in a lewd manner
[16:03] Morita
    by listening to an erotic voice
    and it makes you feel good.
[16:05] Morita
    And so I got hard, thinking that I could get
    the release without touching myself, but—
[16:09] Morita
    I'm going to die if you throw
    a drenched towel at me, you know!
[16:12] Tatsu-ni
    A second one!
[16:13] Morita
    Don't you have a soul?!
[16:19] Morita
    And so that's why I'm
    trying to quit jerking off.
[16:23] Akemi
    I still have no idea what you're talking about,
[16:27] Akemi
    but is quitting masturbation that effective?
[16:30] Akemi
    Are you sure it's not just some bullshit?
[16:32] Morita
    Then how do you describe my state now?
[16:36] Akemi
    Sheesh, but you're still jerking off...
[16:38] Morita
    But gradually, from now on,
[16:41] Morita
    the longer I don't have these desires,
     the more results there'll be...
[16:45] Morita
    From once every three days, to every four days...
[16:49] Morita
    Then onto one week, one month...
[16:53] Morita
    One month isn't a dream!
[16:55] Morita
    The new me can do it!
[16:57] Morita
    I can do this!
[16:58] Morita
    I can do it! I can do it! I can do it!
[17:01] Akemi
    Could you please stop hypnotizing
    yourself while we're talking here?!
[17:04] Akemi
    It's creeping me out!
[17:05] Akemi
    And? Is your goal to not do it at all?
[17:12] Morita
    Huh?
[17:16] Morita
    I haven't thought about the end result...
[17:19] Akemi
    Make sure you have a vision.
[17:22] Morita
    But, you know...
[17:25] Morita
    If there was an end,
[17:26] Morita
    it might be when I get a girlfriend
    from the results of not jerking off?
[17:30] Akemi
    Wait, why would you get
    a girlfriend by not jerking off?
[17:35] Morita
    You can become handsome
    by not jerking off, you know.
[17:38] Akemi
    Bring me that ero-manga. I'm going to burn it.
[17:41] Morita
    All my ero-manga are digitized,
    so you can't burn them.
[17:46] Akemi {background}
    Then I'm going to delete the data, so bring me
    your cell phone and laptop and accounts...
[17:49] Tatsu-ni
    Morita-chan, you can't become
    a handsome man just by quitting...
[17:50] Morita {background}
    Why do you need to do all that?!
[17:55] Tatsu-ni
    Besides, you don't have to quit jerking off,
    the desire just decreases naturally as you age.
[18:01] Akemi
    Tatsu-ni, what are you
    pensively smiling about?
[18:05] Akemi
    Besides, even if you were able to
    become a handsome man by quitting,
[18:11] Akemi
    if you were to start up again
    and reverted back to your old Morita self,
[18:13] Akemi
    wouldn't that be scary?
[18:15] Woman
    Ugh, ugly!
[18:17] Morita
    Talk about a horrifying sight...
[18:20] Morita
    But I heard if you continue to not jerk off,
    all women start looking beautiful too...
[18:26] Morita
    So then, afterward, I would be like
    "Huh? Now that I look at her..."
[18:30] Morita in bed
    Ugh, ugly.
[18:32] Morita
    So it'd be both of us.
[18:34] Akemi
    Are you sure you want that
    after you've held off for so long?
[18:36] Akemi
    Even if you did quit jerking off,
    Morita is still Morita, after all...
[18:40] Akemi
    I've heard that if you restrain yourself
    too much you can get sick, so...
[18:44] Akemi
    Isn't it better to just get that post-nut clarity
[18:46] Akemi
    and relax after you've
    jerked off a bunch of times?
[18:49] Tatsu-ni
    Yeah, that's right. There's no difference...
[18:52] Tatsu-ni
    Besides, the number of times you do it
    goes down as you age anyway.
[18:57] Akemi
    Tatsu-ni, what are you pensively smiling about?
[19:01] Akemi
    Well... if you're gaining confidence by not
    jerking off, then I suppose it's a good thing?
[19:08] Guy not jerking off
    I haven't masturbated for six months now...
[19:11] Guy not jerking off
    You're all monkeys when compared to me!
[19:14] Guy not jerking off
    I'm the only human!
[19:18] Akemi
    Maybe not so much...
[19:20] Akemi
    Hey, why don't you try something else?
[19:23] Akemi
    If you want to build confidence,
[19:25] Akemi
    why don't you lose
    your virginity to a prostitute?
[19:28] Morita
    What if I go to a prostitute and get
    hooked on it, though?
[19:31] Akemi
    That's what you're worried about?
[19:34] Morita
    That's the reason
    why I decided to quit jerking off!
[19:38] Morita
    When you get addicted to jerking off...
[19:41] Morita
    it's a terrible waste of time and money!
[19:47] Morita
    The hours you spend looking
     for a good resource.
[19:49] Morita
    The few thousand yen you've spent
    on adult videos just because they were on sale!
[19:54] Morita
    The ten thousands of thousands of yen you
    spend on gadgets that you got into.
[19:57] Morita
    Depending on the situation,
    it could be a few hundred thousand yen.
[20:01] Morita
    Don't you think the world is
    overflowing with too much porn?
[20:05] Akemi
    And suddenly you start sounding like
    the old-school PTA board members.
[20:09] Akemi
    Even so, it's not good to go to extremes.
[20:13] Akemi
    It all comes down to maintaining
    a good balance. That's what's important.
[20:17] Morita
    Just like the Force.
[20:20] Akemi
    And how is your time and money now that
[20:23] Akemi
    you've been compromising
    by doing it once every three days?
[20:27] Morita
    Uhh...
[20:32] Morita
    I have a little too much time and money!
[20:34] Akemi
    Then go on and jerk away!
[20:36] Morita
    All right!
[20:45] Morita
    I'm going to use the bathroom a bit.
[20:47] Tatsu-ni
    What?
[20:49] Morita
    What do you mean what, huh?
[20:59] Morita
    Hm? What's wrong?
[21:03] Tatsu-ni
    Ah, no. I'm sure
    it can't be... But Morita-chan...
[21:09] Tatsu-ni
    You didn't jerk off in the bathroom, right?
[21:11] Morita
    Of course I didn't!
[21:13] Tatsu-ni
    Phew, I'm glad to hear that...
[21:15] Morita
    Even I have common sense, geez.
[21:20] Akemi
    But I wouldn't want to be
    the one to go in next.
[21:24] Morita
    Why not?!
[21:26] Tatsu-ni
    Don't you think it'll be okay after a while?
[21:29] Akemi
    Yeah, we should sing a song
    until the smell settles down.
[21:34] Akemi
    Here, Morita.
[21:35] Morita
    Like I said, I didn't jerk off!
[21:38] Morita
    And didn't I say I'm not going to sing?
[21:41] Tatsu-ni
    But I heard you're a pretty
    good singer. I want to hear it too.
[21:46] Morita
    Even so... I'm not into
    singing someone else's song...
[21:50] Tatsu-ni
    I think it's pretty normal to sing other
    people's songs when you do karaoke.
[21:56] Akemi
    It just means there aren't many
    songs Morita wants to sing.
[22:00] Akemi
    Here, how about this one?
[22:03] Morita
    Hmm... Yeah, I could sing this one.
[22:05] Akemi
    All right!
[22:07] [SONG] Caption
    Reserved
SIGN    The Distant Starry Sky
SIGN    Key Setting
SIGN    Key Setting
[22:18] Tatsu-ni
    Oh, you're taking it seriously.
[22:20] Morita
    I just hate it when I can't sing it properly!
[22:25] Tatsu-ni
    Just as a FYI, 500 miles is like going
    from Chitose Airport to Sendai.
[22:31] Akemi
    Oh, it seems surprisingly close.
[22:34] Morita
    Stop inserting random facts, will ya?
[22:39] Morita
    The fierce wind is now dancing within my heart.
[22:45] Morita
    Was saying "Goodbye" my one-time mistake?
[22:52] Morita
    Even if we're 500 miles apart,
[22:58] Morita
    when the night falls,
    our hearts yearn for each other again.
[23:04] Morita
    The distance under the starry sky.
[23:11] Morita
    Burn up! Love's resistance!
[23:17] Morita
    Overcome the night between us,
[23:24] Morita
    and once again, leap into my arms!
[23:29] Morita
    Baby, come back!
[23:35] Morita
    Even if we're far apart, me and Akemi-chan
[23:38] Morita
    will also yearn for each other's
    hearts, you know.
[23:39] Akemi
    Go jerk off in the bathroom again!
[23:42] Morita
    I'm telling you, I didn't jerk off
    in the bathroom!
[23:44] Tatsu-ni
    Then exactly where and
    when did you jerk off, huh?
[23:47] Morita
    Three days ago, at my house.
[23:49] Akemi
    Oh, he's totally going to jerk off
    as soon as he gets home today.