# Snack Basue
Welcome to Snack Basue! Delight yourself in this charming snack bar, just five stations away from Hokkaido's largest downtown area, Susukino. Run by the quirky proprietress, Basue, and her junior hostess, Akemi, the place is filled with laughter and smiles from its oddball regulars and walk-ins as they regale tales of their lives. So, pull up a seat and have a drink—is shochu OK?
# Season 1
# E1 - Let's Stay Together / I Ain't Gonna Stand For It / God's Gift To The World
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GZ7UVE52J/lets-stay-together--i-aint-gonna-stand-for-it--gods-gift-to-the-world)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:01] Tamabukuro**
*Hey there! I'm Sujitarou Tamabukuro.*
**[00:03] Tamabukuro**
*Do you know what a snack bar is?*
**[00:05] Tamabukuro**
*What? You don't know?*
**[00:07] Tamabukuro**
*You see, a snack bar is a place where*
**[00:09] Tamabukuro**
* there's a hostess, a counter,*
* regulars who come,*
**[00:11] Tamabukuro**
* there's booze, karaoke,*
* and towels are handed to you.*
**[00:13] Tamabukuro**
*It's that sort of place.*
**[00:15] Tamabukuro**
*Everyone is a friend at the snack bar.*
**[00:17] Tamabukuro**
* It's a place where strangers*
* can bond and be themselves.*
**[00:21] Tamabukuro**
*That's what a snack bar is all about.*
**[00:24] Tamabukuro**
* I bet, even today, there are*
* all different kinds of stories*
**[00:27] Tamabukuro**
*being born at a snack bar somewhere...*
**[00:30] Tamabukuro**
*This is Sapporo. Susukino...*
**[00:33] Tamabukuro**
*I mean, Kita-24-Jo.*
**[00:36] Tamabukuro**
* A snack bar hidden away in a*
* quiet place away from downtown.*
***SIGN*** Snack Basue
**[00:58] Basue**
Oh, goodness. It's so hard
to know how to react to western music.
**[01:01] Akemi**
Do Thai songs count as western?
**[01:05] Tatsu**
Hey, Akemi-chan, you sing too.
**[01:08] Akemi**
Leave it to me!
**[01:10] Basue**
Akemi-chan, you know how to sing this song?
**[01:13] Akemi**
Yeah! I learned it from Tatsu-ni singing it.
**[01:16] Akemi**
Okay then...
**[01:18] Akemi**
Let's get pumped up!
**[01:20] Akemi**
Swing those towels!
**[01:23] Tatsu and Basue**
Yeah!
**[01:34] Yamada**
G-Good evening...
**[01:42] Yamada**
Well, this is awkward.
**[01:45] Akemi**
I'm the kind of girl who stops singing when she's in a karaoke booth
**[01:47] Sign**
Junior Hostess, Akemi
**[01:51] Akemi**
and an employee walks in.
**[01:52] Yamada**
Um, you know, I'm the customer, right?
***SIGN*** (Welcome to Basue)
**[03:31] Yamada**
Um...
**[03:34] Basue**
I'm the type of woman who
somehow gets embarrassed
**[03:36] Basue**
whenever she sees a person stop singing.
**[03:39] Basue**
Welcome in.
**[03:42] Yamada**
Oh, thank you.
**[03:43] Basue**
Welcome to Snack Basue.
**[03:46] Sign**
Hostess (Mama)
Basue
**[03:46] Basue**
I'm Basue, the hostess.
**[03:48] Basue**
What's your name, sir?
**[03:50] Yamada**
Uh, my name is Yamada.
**[03:51] Sign**
Yamada
**[03:53] Basue**
Yamada-san, then.
**[03:55] Yamada**
Um...
**[03:57] Akemi**
I'm Akemi, the junior hostess.
**[04:00] Akemi**
Come on over and have a seat here.
**[04:02] Yamada**
Okay.
**[04:05] Yamada**
H-Hello. Pardon me. I'll be taking this seat.
**[04:08] Akemi**
Is shochu okay?
**[04:10] Yamada**
Could I get a shochu mixed with water, please?
**[04:12] Akemi**
Sure thing!
**[04:13] Akemi**
Shochu with water, coming right up.
**[04:19] Yamada**
Um, he's seriously staring at me!
**[04:22] Akemi**
Cut it out, Tatsu-ni!
**[04:24] Tatsu**
My bad, my bad!
**[04:26] Tatsu**
I usually see old men come here,
so I was surprised
**[04:28] Sign**
Patron, Tatsu-ni
**[04:29] Tatsu**
to see someone young walk in.
**[04:31] Yamada**
I thought you were someone
out of a Western film.
**[04:35] Tatsu**
Encountering strange men is part
of the charm of snack bars.
**[04:39] Tatsu**
They call me Tatsu-ni here.
**[04:43] Tatsu**
Well, it's nice to meet you.
**[04:45] Yamada**
I'm Yamada. Nice to meet you, too.
**[04:47] Yamada**
Just go easy on me.
**[04:50] Yamada**
I'm sorry for being tactless,
but it's my first time at a snack bar.
**[04:53] Tatsu**
Oh, it's your first time?
**[04:56] Yamada**
Yes, so I'm not sure how you're
supposed to have fun at a snack bar.
**[05:01] Tatsu**
Whether it's for Mama
Basue's meals or karaoke,
**[05:05] Tatsu**
there are all sorts of reasons
why people come here.
**[05:10] Tatsu**
But I think the number one
reason is the conversations.
**[05:12] Yamada**
I see.
**[05:14] Akemi**
Even so, Yamada-san, was it?
**[05:16] Akemi**
I'm surprised you even came to a
snack bar on the outskirts like ours.
**[05:20] Basue**
And you're the one working at that
snack bar on the outskirts, Akemi-chan.
**[05:25] Yamada**
Oh, no, I was placed in charge
of handling our company outing
**[05:29] Yamada**
and was looking for another potential
place we could go for the afterparty.
**[05:32] Akemi**
You already look serious,
but have you ever been told
**[05:35] Akemii**
you're more serious than you look?
**[05:37] Yamada**
What do you mean?
**[05:38] Akemi**
Well, why here?
**[05:41] Yamada**
This place was listed in my town paper, so.
***SIGN*** Sapporo Town Paper
**[05:44] Akemi**
Hm? What?!
**[05:45] Akemi**
You came because of this close-up
picture of Mama Basue?!
***SIGN*** Snack Basue
**[05:47] Yamada**
Oh, no, I just came here because
it was the closest one.
**[05:51] Basue**
I understand.
**[05:52] Yamada**
What?
**[05:54] Basue**
You sensed my motherly instinct
and came to be babied, have you?
**[05:59] Yamada**
Babied?
**[06:00] Basue**
You don't have to hide it.
**[06:02] Basue**
When a young man wanders into a snack bar...
**[06:07] Basue**
it means that he had a rough day and wants
to be coddled by Mama, isn't that right?
**[06:11] Yamada**
Um, not really.
**[06:14] Basue**
My dear customer, I sense that you
often hide your emotions inside.
**[06:22] Basue**
And you wish to melt that stress
away by sharing it here.
**[06:27] Akemi**
Yes. We aim to provide a place
where customers can freely talk
**[06:33] Akemi**
about whatever they want
and enjoy themselves.
**[06:38] Basue**
That's what being a professional
hostess is all about.
**[06:41] Akemi**
That is our Snack Basue
**[06:44] Akemi and Basue**
hospitality!
**[06:51] Basue**
Now tell me, what's troubling you?
**[06:54] Yamada**
Um...
**[06:55] Tatsu**
There's nothing to be embarrassed about.
**[06:58] Tatsu**
Every man has days like this.
**[07:02] Akemi**
My duty, as a snack bar hostess,
is to somehow
**[07:05] Akemi**
provide feminine appeal while
listening to customer's problems.
**[07:08] Akemi**
Now spill it and let me counsel you.
**[07:12] Basue**
Come on.
**[07:13] Tatsu**
Come on.
**[07:14] Akemi**
Come on.
**[07:16] Basue; Tatsu; and Akemi**
C'mon... C'mon... C'mon... C'mon...
***SIGN*** PEER PRESSURE
**[07:19] Yamada**
*I see...*
**[07:21] Yamada**
* This is what they call being pressured*
* into telling them my problems.*
***SIGN*** Atmosphere
**[07:25] Akemi**
Except!
**[07:29] Akemi**
Please give us a good one!
**[07:31] Yamada**
A good one?
**[07:32] Akemi**
Yes. If the problem is too serious,
we'd be lost for words...
**[07:38] Akemi**
And, if we're going to counsel you,
**[07:39] Akemi**
we want to feel a sense of
accomplishment, you know.
**[07:42] Basue**
So, please give us a good one, okay?
**[07:45] Akemi**
Please give us something that we can
relate to and easily respond to!
**[07:45] Basue**
C'mon. C'mon. Hey. Hey. C'mon.
Give it to us already.
**[07:51] Yamada**
You're placing too much pressure
on the person receiving the advice.
**[07:57] Yamada**
All right, I'll give it a try.
**[08:00] Tatsu**
Hey, you're actually playing along.
**[08:04] Yamada**
I was doing overtime today because
of a mistake my Senpai made...
**[08:09] Yamada**
And he clocked out at his usual time.
**[08:13] Yamada**
What should I have done
in a situation like this?
**[08:16] Basue**
Hm. Hm. I see. You got the brunt of it, huh.
**[08:20] Akemi**
But your Senpai didn't even feel bad for it...
**[08:26] Akemi**
Oh, so close!
**[08:27] Yamada**
What do you mean?
**[08:28] Sign**
* "I had something similar happen to me when I was young.*
* I had to come in on my day off so it was the worst."*
**[08:29] Yamada**
And what is this?!
**[08:30] Sign**
* "I feel like you're venting more than asking for advice.*
* I'd rather you ask me for advice instead!"*
**[08:31] Tatsu**
Don't worry. It's a Famitsu cross-review.
**[08:33] Sign**
* "A lot of guys like to complain about*
* useless senpai at work. Good choice!"*
**[08:34] Yamada**
It's Famitsu?!
**[08:35] Basue**
Oh, we want something different.
**[08:39] Akemi**
Worry more!
**[08:40] Akemi**
Empathize with those who want
to give you advice!
**[08:44] Yamada**
Do you actually intend to give me any advice?
**[08:48] Yamada**
Then...
**[08:49] Yamada**
Recently, I haven't been exercising,
and I'm not sure whether to
**[08:53] Yamada**
go jogging or just sign up for a gym.
**[08:55] Yamada**
How's that?
**[08:57] Akemi**
What kind of situation is that?!
**[08:59] Akemi**
You should just start with jogging and then
**[09:01] Akemi**
think about whether you want
to go to a gym or not!
**[09:02] Akemi**
You're on the same level
as a fatass pondering
**[09:05] Akemi**
"What kind of diet should I start
tomorrow?" while eating pizza!
**[09:08] Yamada**
Why are you so egotistical
about this consultation?
**[09:11] Tatsu**
I'm also pondering whether
I should go to a gym or not.
**[09:13] Yamada**
What?
**[09:15] Tatsu**
That has a pool.
**[09:17] Yamada**
Why is everyone trying to one up my worries?!
**[09:20] Yamada**
And weren't you just saying "customers can
freely talk about whatever they want"?
**[09:25] Yamada**
You're dragging it out of me right now.
**[09:27] Akemi**
Okay, but...
**[09:30] Basue**
Who remembers what they
discussed while drinking?
**[09:33] Akemi and Basue**
We certainly don't!
**[09:35] Yamada**
You said so earlier while posing like that.
**[09:38] Yamada**
Besides, coming up with a good
situation is really hard.
**[09:43] Yamada**
Tatsu-ni... -san, do you have any worries?
**[09:46] Tatsu**
Oh, you called me by my name.
**[09:50] Yamada**
You're responding like you're
my stepdad or something.
**[09:52] Tatsu**
Hm.. well.
**[09:55] Tatsu**
My worries are... hm.
**[09:59] Tatsu**
Why I'm even coming to a
snack bar like this one?
**[10:02] Akemi**
Tatsu-ni. You can't mean that. Oh man.
**[10:08] Sign**
The End
**[10:09] Yamada**
You can't end it like this!
**[10:10] Akemi**
Oh, but Tatsu-ni's worries were just right.
**[10:15] Yamada**
Really?
**[10:17] Akemi**
Yep, really.
**[10:19] Yamada**
Aren't you being a bit biased
towards your regular customers?
**[10:22] Akemi**
That's not true. As proof,
**[10:27] Akemi**
the booze is going down
smoothly! Very smoothly!
**[10:30] Yamada**
You look like you can't
go on without drinking!
**[10:35] Yamada**
You keep asking me, but how about you,
Ms. Junior Hostess?
**[10:39] Akemi**
Just Akemi is fine.
**[10:41] Yamada**
Akemi... -san, do you have a good one?
**[10:47] Akemi**
A good one.
**[10:49] Akemi**
Well... My worry is...
**[10:56] Akemi**
the never-ending debt that my previous
previous boyfriend laid on me.
**[11:17] Basue**
Akemi-chan. Your story violates
the heaviness regulations.
***SIGN*** Too Heavy - Overweight
**[11:22] Basue**
Disqualification.
***SIGN*** A Few
Days Later...
**[11:33] Akemi**
Yamada-san, right?
***SIGN*** (Everyone has different tastes)
**[11:35] Akemi**
I honestly didn't think you'd be
back after what happened last time.
**[11:41] Yamada**
I was thinking the same, but...
**[11:44] Yamada**
I figured I shouldn't judge any store
just from a single visit, so...
**[11:48] Akemi**
You're so earnest.
**[11:49] Yamada**
I get told that a lot.
**[11:51] Akemi**
By the way...
**[11:53] Yamada**
Yes?
**[11:54] Akemi**
What seasonings do you
put on your fried eggs?
**[11:57] Yamada**
Huh? My fried eggs? Um...
**[12:02] Akemi**
Poop?
**[12:03] Yamada**
Even an elementary school kid would
be disgusted by that response.
**[12:06] Yamada**
Hm... well...
**[12:11] Yamada**
I think I'd just use salt and
pepper with my fried eggs.
**[12:14] Akemi**
Which means
**[12:17] Akemi**
you've been denied your personality
by all those who use soy sauce,
**[12:19] Akemi**
and you've gone through
tough times, haven't you?
**[12:22] Yamada**
No, I haven't.
**[12:25] Akemi**
Haven't you?
**[12:27] Yamada**
No, I really haven't.
**[12:30] Akemi**
Haven't you?
***SIGN*** Haven't you?
***SIGN*** Yes
***SIGN*** No
**[12:32] Yamada**
Oh, is this one of those conversations
that loop until I say yes?
**[12:36] Yamada**
But I really really haven't.
**[12:38] Akemi**
You're just not aware of it and
everyone is laughing behind your back.
**[12:42] Yamada**
Oh, hey, you just denied my personality.
**[12:45] Yamada**
Besides, I don't have a preference about
how I eat my fried eggs anyway.
**[12:49] Yamada**
I just eat it them salt
and pepper out of habit.
**[12:53] Akemi**
Well, that's normal.
**[12:55] Akemi**
Getting hyped over food is
like pro wrestling, after all.
**[12:59] Yamada**
Exactly.
**[13:00] Akemi**
If there really was a person out there who
denied others over how they eat their food...
**[13:05] Akemi**
They'd be this.
**[13:06] Yamada**
Please don't needlessly provoke anyone!
**[13:09] Yamada**
Anyone who gets seriously angry about food
will also get very angry at gestures like that!
**[13:13] Akemi**
Don't worry!
**[13:14] Akemi**
If there was anyone like that,
then they'd really be...
**[13:17] Akemi**
this!
**[13:18] Yamada**
That's why it's scary!
**[13:19] Akemi**
Oh, crap... I'm getting scared now.
***SIGN*** Snack
***SIGN*** Basue
***SIGN*** (Men are...)
**[13:33] Akemi**
Hey, Morita.
**[13:34] Akemi**
Don't ya have any interesting
stories to tell?
**[13:37] Morita**
Look at you, slacking off.
**[13:37] Sign**
Patron, Morita
**[13:39] Morita**
Telling interesting stories
is your job, Akemi-chan.
**[13:44] Akemi**
Of course it is.
**[13:45] Akemi**
That's why, today, I was hoping to get one
**[13:48] Akemi**
from you and talk about it
with the other customers.
**[13:50] Morita**
That's called stealing!
**[13:53] Basue**
Oh, then why don't I tell you about
the first time I ate a macaroon?
**[13:58] Akemi**
Don't want it.
**[14:00] Akemi**
Hey, hey, Morita, huh.
**[14:00] Basue**
D-D-Don't...
**[14:02] Akemi**
You've got something, don't you?
**[14:06] Morita**
Well...
**[14:09] Morita**
Oh yeah, I have something I bought
that I seriously gotta show you.
**[14:13] Akemi**
What, what?
**[14:18] Morita**
This. Time Stop app.
**[14:28] Morita**
The time...
**[14:31] Morita**
It stopped.
**[14:34] Morita**
Is this app for real?!
**[14:38] Basue**
It was so incredibly stupid that...
**[14:42] Akemi**
We didn't know
**[14:44] Akemi**
how to react.
**[14:48] Akemi**
Morita, really? A time stop app?
**[14:51] Akemi**
What are you thinking?
**[14:53] Morita**
Isn't it obvious?
**[14:56] Morita**
Something perverted, of course.
**[14:58] Morita**
I'm a boy, after all!
**[15:00] Akemi**
That's not what I meant.
**[15:02] Akemi**
Why do you fall for the most obvious scams?
**[15:06] Morita**
A man's got needs, okay?
**[15:09] Morita**
I'm a boy, after all!
**[15:12] Akemi**
Stop acting like you represent all men!
**[15:14] Morita**
I don't know.
**[15:16] Morita**
Perverted gadgets like these just
tickle a man's interest, you know.
**[15:22] Morita**
Speaking of which, these glasses too.
**[15:25] Morita**
Directly imported from France.
**[15:28] Morita**
They're x-ray glasses that
let you see through clothes!
**[15:39] Morita**
Oh man, seriously. I paid a
lot of money to buy these.
**[15:46] Morita**
Well, they're glasses-shaped garbage,
so it's fine, but...
**[15:50] Akemi**
You're the garbage.
**[15:52] Akemi**
Seriously, what's up?
**[15:54] Akemi**
Are you an enemy of women?
**[15:57] Morita**
Well..
**[15:59] Morita**
But you know, they say a woman's
enemy is another woman, right?
**[16:03] Akemi**
They do.
**[16:04] Morita**
That means I'm the enemy
of woman's enemy.
**[16:07] Morita**
So that actually makes me an ally!
**[16:09] Akemi**
I would never form an alliance with you.
**[16:13] Akemi**
But I'm starting to wonder
what other garbage you have...
**[16:16] Morita**
That's my Akemi-chan. You're a good woman.
**[16:20] Morita**
What I have on hand is a supplement
that could make you invisible.
**[16:25] Morita**
I wanted to become invisible and sneak
into the woman's bath to take a peek.
**[16:28] Morita**
But after I took it, I got so sick
that I didn't get a chance to do it.
**[16:31] Akemi**
You don't think by "invisible",
they mean "dead"?
**[16:33] Basue**
Morita-chan...
**[16:36] Basue**
Just because you can't get a woman doesn't
mean you should go to these extremes.
**[16:40] Morita**
You've got it all wrong, hostess.
**[16:43] Basue**
What?
**[16:45] Morita**
Even if I were popular with the ladies,
**[16:47] Morita**
I'd still get these perverted gadgets.
**[16:51] Morita**
It's because boys
**[16:55] Morita**
are innately fascinated by tools!
**[16:59] Basue**
Hm.
**[17:00] Akemi**
Continue.
**[17:02] Morita**
Thank you.
**[17:03] Morita**
For example, I wonder if you'd understand
**[17:07] Morita**
the fascination we have
with multi-tool knives.
**[17:12] Morita**
Even if there are tools that
you think you'll never use,
**[17:14] Morita**
we buy it, and try our best
to come up with ways to use them.
**[17:21] Akemi**
What, can a multi-tool knife
be used for erotic purposes?
**[17:25] Morita**
Even if it is a multi-tool knife,
**[17:26] Morita**
it's a crime to use a
knife for erotic purposes!
**[17:29] Akemi**
But every tool you've shown us today
is only good for committing crimes!
**[17:34] Akemi**
But when it comes to being
picky with your tools,
**[17:37] Akemi**
I'm also picky about
certain brand-name things.
**[17:39] Morita**
That's different.
**[17:41] Morita**
You're just choosing brand-name
things to one up people, aren't you?
**[17:46] Akemi**
You just slyly slid in an insult.
**[17:48] Morita**
It's different from that.
**[17:51] Morita**
It's different from how particular
boys are with tools.
**[17:55] Morita**
We start with trust in the product,
and then it leads us to the brand.
**[18:01] Morita**
Gadgets are made to be used!
**[18:03] Morita**
It's a boy's dream to get a hold of those
superb tools and use them for the purpose of erotica!
**[18:08] Morita**
The romance in it!
**[18:12] Basue**
*This guy...*
**[18:13] Basue**
* He was talking idiotic gibberish*
* this whole time, and now*
**[18:15] Basue**
* he's suddenly started explaining*
* this clever-sounding theory!*
**[18:25] Akemi**
I understand your fascination
with your tools now.
**[18:31] Akemi**
But, if that's the case...
**[18:34] Akemi**
then make sure you give your crotch tool
a proper use once in a while, okay?
**[18:45] Morita**
You know what.
**[18:48] Morita**
The maintenance for that tool is...
**[18:52] Morita**
Really perfect.
**[18:59] Morita**
I wish...
**[19:01] Morita**
I could use it for the first time...
**[19:08] Morita**
Hey, Akemi-chan.
**[19:10] Akemi**
What's up?
**[19:12] Morita**
Do you think, maybe,
there's a woman out there
**[19:16] Morita**
who would choose my tool?
**[19:19] Akemi**
Yeah.
**[19:20] Akemi**
There are probably girls out there
with bad taste in tools.
**[19:26] Morita**
Yeah...
**[19:28] Morita**
You're right...
**[19:37] Akemi**
Sing.
**[19:38] Morita**
You know, I'm really feeling
depressed right now.
**[19:40] Akemi**
Yeah.
**[19:41] Morita**
I don't think that's something
you should be telling a
**[19:43] Morita**
customer who's feeling depressed, you know?
**[19:45] Akemi**
I'm sick of listening to you talk, though.
**[19:47] Basue**
Akemi-chan. Your true colors are showing,
**[19:50] Basue**
and that is unacceptable as
a hostess at this snack bar.
**[19:52] Akemi**
Personally, I think putting obnoxious
customers in a good mood by making them sing
**[19:57] Akemi**
is a viable strategy for a snack bar.
**[19:58] Basue**
You're right. It is viable
for obnoxious customers.
**[20:02] Morita**
I think you guys should realize that you're
being really rude.
**[20:07] Morita**
Seriously, I can't take this.
**[20:09] Akemi**
Says the person who's
scrolling through the songs.
**[20:12] Morita**
I ain't singing.
**[20:14] Basue**
Oh, you're one of those
people who takes the remote
**[20:17] Basue**
even though they have no intention
of singing, aren't you?
**[20:19] Morita**
It's fun to see what other people
have been singing, though.
**[20:23] Basue**
Oh, I fully agree on that.
**[20:26] Morita**
You know, it's been a while since
I heard you sing, Akemi-chan.
**[20:30] Morita**
I want to hear it.
**[20:31] Akemi**
What? Me?
**[20:33] Morita**
I haven't heard you sing in a while.
**[20:35] Morita**
Please sing for me.
**[20:37] Akemi**
Ten thousand yen.
**[20:39] Morita**
I don't know what the ten
thousand yen is for, but...
**[20:41] Basue**
Morita-chan, you shouldn't
reach for your wallet.
**[20:46] Morita**
Come on, please?
**[20:47] Morita**
Please brighten my day with a song.
**[20:51] Akemi**
Fine...
**[20:53] Morita**
A song that expresses your love for me, okay?
**[20:56] Akemi**
There's no song like that.
**[21:00] [SONG] Sign**
Reserved
***SIGN*** While Listening To Olivia
**[21:01] Morita**
What a corny selection!
**[21:02] Morita**
You just chose from the rankings, didn't you?
**[21:04] Akemi**
This is a snack bar,
so corny songs are allowed!
**[21:07] Morita**
On top of that, isn't this
the song you said you sing
**[21:09] Morita**
when you think about your old boyfriend?
**[21:11] Akemi**
I'll think of him while I sing.
**[21:14] Morita**
Geez, you don't pull your punches!
**[21:17] Akemi**
But isn't this a song you like?
**[21:20] Morita**
Well, I do, but...
**[21:23] Akemi**
See?
**[21:30] Akemi**
*It's my favorite song.
I'm listening to it by myself.*
**[21:43] Akemi**
* Because Olivia soothes my lonely heart.*
**[21:58] Akemi**
*Jasmine tea is a medicine
that helps you sleep.*
**[22:10] Akemi**
*I want to end the day, in my
own way, on nights like these.*
**[22:24] Akemi**
* When we first met,*
**[22:28] Akemi**
* I never imagined a day like this would come.*
**[22:38] Akemi**
*Making good things better*
**[22:41] Akemi**
* No, it's all in the past.*
**[22:44] Akemi**
* Time just passed by.*
**[22:50] Akemi**
*You just fell in love with
my illusion, my tired dear.*
**[23:08] Morita**
It's a good song.
**[23:10] Basue**
Indeed.
**[23:11] Morita**
I might be in love with your
illusion too, Akemi-chan.
**[23:16] Akemi**
Don't say something so scary.
**[23:18] Morita**
Just spend your time with me for now.
**[23:20] Akemi**
Does that mean you're coming everyday?
**[23:22] Morita**
I didn't say it to mean that, but if you're
willing to go out with me, I could.
**[23:32] Akemi**
Well! Here's your jasmine
tea to sober you up!
**[23:35] Morita**
You're just trying to end this
conversation by making me fall asleep!
**[23:39] Morita**
Oh! Does that mean you want to sleep with me?
**[23:43] Akemi**
That's not what the song is about!
**[23:45] Akemi**
I said it's to sober you up!
**[23:48] Morita**
What about after you sober me up?!
# E2 - Come Rain or Come Shine / Sweet Baby / Still Waiting
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GD9UV30QP/come-rain-or-come-shine--sweet-baby--still-waiting)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** Snack
Basue
**[00:04] Robber**
Hey! Didn't you hear me?! Huh?!
**[00:07] Robber**
You think this is a joke?!
**[00:10] Robber**
Just hand over the cash!
**[00:13] Basue**
Oh, I'm sorry. We don't do
salary advances here.
**[00:20] Akemi**
Yeah. Besides, we haven't even decided
whether we're hiring you yet.
**[00:24] Robber**
Wha?!
**[00:29] Kosame**
*I... I came...*
**[00:32] Kosame**
* I came here to interview*
* for a part-time job, and...*
**[00:36] Sign**
Kosame Amano
**[00:36] Kosame**
*I got caught up in this mess.*
**[00:40] Akemi**
Do you have any special skills
you take pride in?
**[00:43] Robber**
If I did, I wouldn't be doing this!
**[00:47] Robber**
You can't tell just by looking at me?!
**[00:50] Robber**
I hate to say it, but I do look
the part, don't you think?!
**[00:54] Basue**
You say you look the part, but...
**[00:57] Akemi**
You're wearing a mask,
so we can't even see your face.
**[01:00] Robber**
Are we even talking about the same thing!?
**[01:03] Robber**
Hey!
**[01:04] Robber**
You could usually tell, couldn't you?
**[01:05] Kosame**
Yes.
**[01:07] Robber**
It's embarrassing.
Please don't make me say it!
**[01:10] Basue**
Okay, how about we have you
come in twice a week to start?
**[01:15] Basue**
How's that sound?
**[01:16] Robber**
The neighborhood crime watch
would have a fit!
**[01:19] Kosame**
Uh, um... Besides, this person is a man.
**[01:24] Kosame**
Are you hiring men too?
**[01:27] Robber**
Nice question!
**[01:29] Akemi**
You know, I was just discussing
whether we should or not with Mama.
**[01:34] Akemi**
Lately, it's been getting pretty dangerous
around here, you know?
**[01:36] Kosame**
If you're aware of that,
why don't you see what's happening?!
**[01:39] Robber**
That's me! I am the danger!
**[01:43] Robber**
And even if I were here for an interview,
you need to immediately reject people like me!
**[01:51] Akemi**
Oh.
**[01:52] Robber**
Don't point!
**[01:53] Basue**
Calm down, Akemi-chan.
**[01:56] Basue**
It's my duty to protect
the girls who work here.
**[02:02] Basue**
There... Make sure you're done by the time
I finish counting the stains on the ceiling.
**[02:06] Robber**
Please, I'm begging you.
Just give me the money!
**[02:10] Robber**
I'm a robber who's just here for the money!
**[02:13] Robber**
I only want the money!
Give it to me and I won't hurt anyone!
**[02:17] Basue**
You only want the money...
**[02:19] Robber**
Yes! I only want the money!
**[02:22] Basue**
But would you be willing
to take... *more*?
**[02:26] Robber**
* Is she getting ready to strike*
* and defend at the same time?!*
**[02:37] [SONG] Sign**
Snack Basue
**[02:42] [SONG] Sign**
Snack Basue
***SIGN*** (Kosame-chan Clocks In)
**[04:01] Robber**
Hey, there is seriously something
wrong with these people!
**[04:04] Robber**
If you want to work at a snack bar,
you should look for another place.
**[04:11] Robber**
A good snack bar has more kindness and...
how should I put it?
**[04:17] Robber**
It should have the vibe
that it's a nursery school for old men.
**[04:20] Kosame**
That is some twisted example.
**[04:23] Kosame**
Um...
**[04:26] Kosame**
If you're that into snack bars,
**[04:28] Kosame**
why did you want to go and rob one?
**[04:32] Akemi**
Oh, Stockholm syndrome.
**[04:34] Basue**
Ah, the phenomenon where one becomes
empathetic towards the criminal.
**[04:38] Robber**
Yeah, you're right...
I'm not even sure what I'm thinking...
**[04:45] Robber**
No... or maybe I wanted to be
scolded by the snack bar's Mama.
**[04:54] Robber**
You see, men need to be scolded
in order to understand.
**[04:58] Robber**
Unless we're shown sympathy,
we can't get back on our feet.
**[05:01] Robber**
Only with both can we truly become grown men.
**[05:10] Robber**
Heh, what the heck am I doing, preaching
when I'm not even a customer here?
**[05:16] Basue**
Oh, but you are.
**[05:19] Robber**
Huh?
**[05:21] Akemi**
You didn't notice...
**[05:23] Akemi**
that you went from being
a "robber" to a "customer?"
**[05:25] Akemi**
Thanks to Mama's customer service skills?
**[05:30] Robber**
When did I get this shochu mixed with water?!
**[05:34] Kosame**
Oh, me too?!
**[05:38] Robber**
* All of that nonsense up until now*
* was all part of her plan?*
**[05:44] Robber**
* I see... so these are the true*
* customer service skills*
**[05:50] Robber**
*of a snack bar Mama!*
***SIGN*** Do Do Do Do
**[05:52] Kosame**
* I swear she's using a different kind*
* of supernatural power!*
***SIGN*** Do Do Do
**[06:02] Basue**
Oh?
**[06:04] Basue**
So you can see *this* as well?
**[06:07] Kosame**
* It was the kind of thing*
* I shouldn't have looked at!*
**[06:12] Robber**
Mama, you'd even treat a guy
like me as a customer, huh?
**[06:23] Akemi**
You want some katsudon, hm?
**[06:24] Kosame**
Though, this one is treating you
like a criminal!
**[06:30] Basue**
You're still young.
**[06:33] Basue**
You still have a chance to start over in life.
**[06:37] Basue**
So take off that silly mask and... and...
**[06:43] Robber**
Mama...
**[06:44] Kosame**
He looks more over the hill than I expected!
**[06:47] Akemi**
No, every customer looks young to Mama...
**[06:53] Akemi**
Yep... it's common in snack bars.
**[06:55] Basue**
Uhm... If you start now,
you might still have a small...
**[06:58] Basue**
a small, last chance!
**[07:01] Kosame**
Oh, that was a hard call, even for Mama!
**[07:06] Robber**
You're right... I was stupid.
**[07:10] Robber**
I just messed up once, after all.
**[07:14] Robber**
Even though in Japanese society
that could mean the end...
**[07:19] Robber**
Mama, I'm going to give it a try!
**[07:25] Robber**
The fun conversations
and the harsh scolding...
**[07:29] Robber**
Thank you for giving me
the best snack bar experience.
**[07:32] Robber**
I'd like to come back again someday.
***SIGN*** Snack Basue
**[07:39] Police**
5:21p.m., criminal was arrested
on suspicion of robbery.
**[07:43] Police**
You have the right to remain silent.
**[07:45] Police**
Anything you say can and will be
used against you in a court of law.
**[07:49] Police**
You have the right to an attorney.
**[07:52] Police**
If you cannot afford an attorney, one will...
**[07:55] Robber**
Can't I get a little empathy?
***SIGN*** (If it's sweet love, then...)
**[08:05] Yamada**
Akemi-san.
**[08:06] Akemi**
Hm?
**[08:08] Yamada**
What do you think of a man
who eats crepes by himself?
**[08:12] Akemi**
What?!
**[08:13] Akemi**
A man...
**[08:15] Akemi**
by himself...
**[08:18] Akemi**
eating a crepe?!
**[08:19] Yamada**
What's with that reaction?
**[08:21] Akemi**
Um... Crepe... Crepe...
**[08:25] Akemi**
C... Rape? Is the answer "sex offender"?
**[08:29] Yamada**
Unfortunately, that wasn't a riddle.
**[08:31] Akemi**
Bummer. Then I don't think anything of it.
**[08:35] Yamada**
Just as I thought...
**[08:37] Yamada**
You see, I had this huge
craving for one today, but...
**[08:41] Yamada**
I was too embarrassed to stand in line.
**[08:44] Yamada**
I know no one cares,
but I ended up not getting one.
**[08:49] Basue**
My, that's tough.
**[08:51] Basue**
There are a lot of men who are
bothered by that, aren't there?
**[08:56] Yamada**
I understand, but...
**[08:59] Akemi**
Well, I think you should just go and eat it...
**[09:18] Akemi**
*You* should learn to be ashamed.
***SIGN*** Snack Basue
**[09:22] Basue**
Snack Basue.
***SIGN*** (I dream of you)
**[09:32] Morita**
Hurry it up!
**[09:33] Morita**
Give me one more!
**[09:34] Akemi**
Hey, Morita, you're drinking too much.
**[09:37] Akemi**
You should stop there.
**[09:42] Akemi**
It's not good to drink your
sorrows away. What happened?
**[09:47] Morita**
Why... why...
**[09:51] Akemi**
Why?
**[09:53] Morita**
Why can't I be popular with the ladies?!
**[09:58] Akemi**
I'll make it extra strong for you.
**[10:00] Morita**
Don't run away and face me!
**[10:02] Morita**
Women of the night!
**[10:04] Morita**
You know you're never going to meet
Prince Charming riding a white horse,
**[10:07] Morita**
so let me ride you, instead!
**[10:09] Basue**
Oh, if only you were born
a worm and not a human.
**[10:17] Akemi**
A prince riding on a white horse, huh...
**[10:21] Akemi**
You know, not everyone dreams of that.
**[10:31] Morita**
Is something wrong with the entrance?
**[10:36] Akemi**
No... but they say when you have
conversations like these, they come.
**[10:40] Morita**
No. That's ghosts that come when
you talk about them.
**[10:51] Morita**
Fine, why don't we
talk about sluts instead?
**[10:53] Akemi**
I think we should talk about the police.
**[10:56] Basue**
Besides, a prince on
a white horse is so outdated.
**[11:01] Akemi**
Yeah, that's true.
**[11:03] Basue**
These days, wouldn't it be a billionaire
in a luxury car?
**[11:08] Akemi**
No. If he's a prince, wouldn't it be
more like the son of a billionaire?
**[11:13] Akemi**
A son who's riding in a luxury car that
his wealthy parents bought him.
***SIGN*** My dad is really important!
***SIGN*** The lazy bad boy you often see on the internet.
***SIGN*** BonBonTV
***SIGN*** BonBonTV
**[11:18] Basue**
BonBonTV!
**[11:21] Morita**
But you'd still be happy if someone
like that came to pick you up, right?
**[11:28] Akemi**
I'd think he was a big scammer.
**[11:30] Morita**
Oh, right on.
**[11:32] Morita**
I never would have expected
that answer from a woman
**[11:35] Morita**
carrying a huge debt from her ex-boyfriend.
**[11:37] Akemi**
Barley gets stronger the more you step on it.
**[11:40] Akemi**
Besides, even if the economy's bad,
life in Japan's still way better than it used to be.
**[11:45] Akemi**
Luxury cars and wealthy families...
Nobody these days cares about that stuff.
**[11:49] Morita**
Then what do you think the current
version of a prince on a white horse is?
**[11:56] Akemi**
Hm...
**[11:58] Akemi**
Well, first, I wouldn't want anyone riding
on something grand like a white horse.
**[12:03] Akemi**
I'd even go as far as to say that men
who are into cars are obnoxious.
**[12:06] Akemi**
So I'd prefer someone who drives a regular car.
**[12:08] Morita**
But women who say that tend to hate Kei cars.
**[12:12] Akemi**
As for my prince's job, I'd say
he'd need to make just enough
**[12:15] Akemi**
so that I could one-up all the other married
woman in my neighborhood.
***SIGN*** My husband's
monthly income
***SIGN*** is 530,000
yen.
**[12:19] Akemi**
My husband's monthly income is 530,000 yen.
**[12:22] Morita**
Wow, that would make you an absolute bitch!
**[12:25] Morita**
You know, Akemi-chan.
That's not what I'm talking about!
**[12:29] Morita**
I'm saying, when you're talking
about a prince on a white horse,
**[12:30] Morita**
it should have more romance, you know?
**[12:33] Akemi**
Huh? We're talking about wanting to be
pampered by a convenient, handsome man, right?
**[12:36] Morita**
Greedy!
**[12:38] Morita**
Aw man, then seriously,
**[12:40] Morita**
I'd rather have a girl who's really
waiting for her true prince to come.
**[12:43] Morita**
She'd at least have a cute side to her.
**[12:46] Akemi**
There you go again.
**[12:48] Akemi**
Morita, you have this weird idea that
**[12:51] Akemi**
all women are waiting for
a prince to take them away.
**[12:55] Akemi**
When, in fact, you're just wanting
these girls to be dreamers.
**[12:59] Akemi**
You're only projecting.
**[13:03] Akemi**
Don't you have it in you to make an effort
to be that prince on a white horse,
**[13:08] Akemi**
instead of complaining about it?!
**[13:10] Akemi**
Don't you have that desire?!
**[13:15] Morita**
It's not that... I don't.
**[13:18] Morita**
It's not that I don't.
**[13:23] Morita**
When my school...
**[13:24] Akemi**
When your school...?
**[13:26] Morita**
When my school is being
taken over by terrorists,
**[13:29] Morita**
and there's this girl I like
in my class being taken hostage...
**[13:32] Morita**
Somehow a bunch of stuff happens,
and I save her!
**[13:35] Morita**
I used to have fantasies about that!
**[13:38] Akemi**
The heck is he talking about?
**[13:43] Morita**
There are three terrorists.
**[13:45] Morita**
They're armed with guns,
but obviously, their odds aren't so great
**[13:50] Morita**
once they think of challenging me.
**[13:52] Morita**
At first, I calmly watch it play out, but...
**[13:57] School Morita**
* Look at those amateurs,*
* leaving themselves wide open.*
**[14:00] Morita**
And after I thought that,
it all went down fast.
**[14:09] Morita**
Instant death.
**[14:21] Terrorist**
He disa—?!
**[14:29] Classmate 1**
Wow.
**[14:30] Classmate 2**
What Morita did...
**[14:31] Classmate 3**
For real?
**[14:32] Classmate 4**
Man, he's good.
**[14:34] Girl he likes**
*Morita-kun... Just who are you?*
**[14:40] Morita**
And that's how I save the girl.
**[14:42] Akemi**
Morita... just how much of a virgin are you?
**[14:46] Basue**
Morita-chan, there's just no way
you'd be able to dodge bullets.
**[14:50] Basue**
Can we come up with a new story where you use
wit and ingenuity to save the day?
**[14:55] Morita**
What are you talking about?
**[14:57] Morita**
I could totally dodge them!
**[14:58] Morita**
That's because I was usually one of the last
ones standing when we played dodgeball!
**[15:04] Morita**
Everyone was so afraid of how agile I was
that they didn't dare to throw the ball.
**[15:10] Morita**
Besides, if you pay attention to which way
the muzzle is facing and their killer instinct,
**[15:14] Morita**
you're not gonna get hit by a bullet.
**[15:17] Morita**
It's easy peasy, lemon squeezy, as they say!
Piece of cake!
**[15:35] Akemi**
...is what happened yesterday.
**[15:37] Tatsu**
It's hard to follow when you
lay a story on me like that.
**[15:41] Tatsu**
I just sat down and haven't
even gotten a drink yet.
**[15:44] Tatsu**
Just give me a rough summary of it, will ya?
**[15:47] Akemi**
A girl who lived a peaceful
life meets a young man.
**[15:52] Akemi**
She learns the existence
of doors that can bring disaster
**[15:54] Akemi**
and sets out on a journey to close said doors.
**[15:55] Tatsu**
That's a summary of another anime!
**[15:57] Girl and boy**
Please, I ask of you!
**[15:58] Akemi**
And so, I had a conversation with Morita
about princes on white horses yesterday.
**[16:05] Tatsu**
And why is that?
**[16:07] Akemi**
It seems boys like to think that girls want
to be picked up by a prince on a white horse.
**[16:14] Akemi**
But I was wondering, what about boys?
**[16:16] Akemi**
That's what I wanted to ask you, Tatsu-ni.
**[16:19] Tatsu**
Oh, I see.
**[16:21] Tatsu**
And what did Morita-chan have to say about that?
**[16:25] Akemi**
The dumbest shit you've ever heard.
**[16:26] Tatsu**
I can guess!
**[16:30] Tatsu**
Hm... A prince on a white horse, huh...
**[16:37] Tatsu**
Yeah, I can relate.
**[16:39] Akemi**
What?
**[16:40] Tatsu**
I want a prince on a white horse...
**[16:44] Tatsu**
to come and get me too!
**[16:49] Akemi**
Oh, I'm sorry. I asked it in a bad way.
**[16:53] Akemi**
Um, that's not it. If a girl
is waiting for a prince, right?
**[16:59] Akemi**
Would you want to be that prince
and go and get the girl, is what I was asking.
**[17:06] Tatsu**
No, I'd rather he come...
**[17:11] Tatsu**
and get me!
**[17:13] Akemi**
Huh?
**[17:14] Basue**
It's simple, Akemi-chan.
**[17:17] Basue**
After all that, it just means girls
and boys desire the same things.
**[17:21] Basue**
They just want to believe in an easy fantasy.
**[17:25] Akemi**
Ah, I see... Like stories where
a pretty girl suddenly falls from the sky?
**[17:31] Tatsu**
You're so off.
**[17:33] Tatsu**
A story about a prince coming for you
**[17:35] Tatsu**
and a girl falling from the sky
are completely different.
**[17:40] Akemi**
So what kind of story do you like?
**[17:43] Tatsu**
I want a...
**[17:46] Tatsu**
prince to come and get me!
**[17:48] Akemi**
Is this conversation a dud too?
**[17:51] Basue**
Tatsu-ni, I didn't know you swung that way.
**[17:55] Tatsu**
Quickly assuming that it's related
to sex is what ignorant hussies say.
**[18:00] Tatsu**
I don't know if you'd understand.
**[18:02] Tatsu**
It's just like how girls adore
their favorite female idols.
**[18:06] Tatsu**
Boys adore their favorite male idols, too.
**[18:10] Basue**
Oh, is it like the "I really want to become
close with my favorite idol" sort of thing?
**[18:16] Akemi**
But princes usually prioritize girls
over old men, so just let it go, okay.
**[18:22] Tatsu**
Everyone has the right to adore someone!
**[18:25] Tatsu**
Besides, when a prince comes to get me,
**[18:31] Tatsu**
I am the princess!
**[18:36] Akemi**
Is a story about a cursed princess being turned
into an old man being written right now?
**[18:42] Basue**
Are you sure it isn't an old man
being cursed into thinking he's a princess?
**[18:46] Akemi**
Gross.
**[18:48] Tatsu**
Am I Medusa or something?
**[18:50] Tatsu**
Come on, you two.
**[18:53] Tatsu**
Princesses are not
exclusive to girls, you know!
**[18:57] Akemi**
I feel like I just added fuel to the fire.
**[19:01] Tatsu**
If you're going to judge
an old man for adoring princesses,
**[19:05] Tatsu**
it's the same as if you were to judge a boy
for choosing a girl character in a game
**[19:07] Tatsu**
and call him a pervert for doing so.
**[19:09] Tatsu**
That's how low you're going.
**[19:10] Child**
Pervert! Pervert!
**[19:12] Tatsu**
You shouldn't try to understand
something by forcing it to fit your values.
**[19:19] Morita**
But I've always chosen girl characters
so I could put them in their pervy costumes.
**[19:24] Tatsu**
Morita-chan.
**[19:27] Morita**
Akemi-chan, I've been thinking
about it since yesterday.
**[19:32] Morita**
I'm here to be that prince,
and I've come to get you.
**[19:36] Akemi**
That's what I've been waiting for!
**[19:36] [SONG] Sign**
Ideal Development
**[19:37] Basue**
Ideal Development!
**[19:39] Morita**
Really?!
**[19:41] Morita**
So, Akemi-chan, you were the kind
of princess to wait for a prince, after all.
**[19:46] Akemi**
Nope, the princess is over here.
**[19:48] Morita**
Huh?
**[19:49] Morita**
Tatsu-ni?
**[19:52] Akemi**
Tatsu-ni is a cursed princess
who got turned into an old man!
**[19:56] Morita**
The heck are you talking about?
**[19:58] Akemi**
In order to break the spell,
he needs a kiss from the prince.
**[20:02] Morita**
The heck are you talking about?
**[20:03] Akemi**
All right, Morita! Give Tatsu-ni
that kiss and break the curse!
**[20:09] Basue**
Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.
**[20:14] Akemi**
Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.
**[20:24] Tatsu**
*Kill me.*
**[20:25] Morita**
Are you a princess knight or something?
**[20:36] Morita**
Yeah, kisses are meant to be saved
for someone special.
**[20:42] Akemi**
Are we still talking about that?
**[20:46] Tatsu**
I can understand that.
**[20:48] Akemi**
Your maiden act is still
going on, too, Tatsu-ni?
**[20:52] Tatsu**
Well, don't people say kisses are different?
**[20:59] Akemi**
Hey, Tatsu-ni,
**[21:01] Akemi**
I know you're preaching about how it's okay
to give your body, but not the kiss.
**[21:05] Akemi**
But you're already making a worthless
statement by saying your body is okay.
**[21:09] Tatsu**
Yeah, come to think of it!
**[21:12] Akemi**
Come on, sing a song, and let's switch gears.
**[21:17] Tatsu**
You're right...
**[21:21] Tatsu**
But what should I sing?
**[21:24] Akemi**
Ah, you're that type who can't
come up with what to sing, huh.
**[21:28] Akemi**
Hmm. Then, how about
you sing Chiharu Matsuyama?
**[21:32] Tatsu**
Oh, yeah. He's from Hokkaido.
**[21:36] [SONG] Sign**
Reserved
***SIGN*** Long Night
**[21:36] Akemi**
I like this song. You understand me, Tatsu-ni.
**[21:41] Tatsu**
Right?
**[21:50] Tatsu**
I'm going to hold my mic up high too.
**[21:52] Morita**
Oh, just like Chiharu Matsuyama.
**[21:56] Tatsu**
*I sway to love as*
**[22:04] Tatsu**
*our hearts become one.*
**[22:11] Tatsu**
*I only chase after you.*
**[22:25] Tatsu**
*Come here. Close by my side.*
**[22:40] Tatsu**
*I'll give you a burning, passionate kiss.*
**[22:55] Tatsu**
*I want to spend the long night away.*
**[23:09] Tatsu**
*I vow to only love you.*
**[23:28] Tatsu**
*Embraced in each other's arms,*
**[23:35] Tatsu**
*the two of us are left flustered.*
**[23:43] Tatsu**
A burning, passionate kiss, huh... Sounds nice.
**[23:47] Akemi**
You're still planning on dragging it out?
**[23:49] ---**
# E3 - You're Still My Brother / As The Years Go Passing By / Try Me
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GQJUG38V1/youre-still-my-brother--as-the-years-go-passing-by--try-me)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:04] Store employee**
Thank you very much!
**[00:06] Kazama**
Woohoo!
***SIGN*** Former Group Bibai
Yakitori Mifune
**[00:10] Kazama**
All right, Yamada-kun! Let's go another round!
**[00:14] Yamada**
Thank you for your hard work. Good night.
**[00:15] Kazama**
Wha?!
**[00:17] Yamada**
Kazama-san.
**[00:18] Kazama**
Yeah, what's up?
**[00:19] Yamada**
If you're going to a cabaret,
please go by yourself.
**[00:20] Kazama**
Wha?!
**[00:22] Yamada**
I have already fulfilled
my obligation to drink and mingle.
**[00:25] Kazama**
Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.
**[00:28] Kazama**
Aren't you being an awful sport?
**[00:30] Yamada**
And *that* is exactly why
I'm being an awful sport.
**[00:36] Kazama**
All right, I get you.
**[00:40] Kazama**
I solicit! I solicit!
**[00:42] Yamada**
Please look up the word before using it.
***SIGN*** Mifune Bibai
Yakitori
**[00:46] Kazama**
I... beg of you.
**[00:49] Yamada**
I can't believe you've managed
to ask properly despite being drunk.
**[00:54] Yamada**
All right... As long as it's not
a cabaret, I'll tag along.
**[00:58] Yamada**
Woohoo! Then!
**[01:02] Yamada**
Let's go to a snack bar!
**[01:12] [SONG] Sign**
Snack Basue
**[01:17] [SONG] Sign**
Snack Basue
***SIGN*** (If it's for you, my cutie)
***SIGN*** Snack Basue
**[02:39] Kazama**
Oh, so this is the place.
**[02:41] Kazama**
Your favorite snack bar, huh, Yamada?
**[02:43] Yamada**
Even though I said favorite,
I've only been here two or three times.
**[02:47] Kazama**
Whatever. Let's go in.
**[02:52] Kazama**
Hell— Oh!
**[03:00] Kazama**
Woohoo! They're open!
**[03:07] Yamada**
Not in a good way!
**[03:09] Akemi**
Mama! We have customers!
**[03:12] Yamada**
Um, I think you should stop shaking
someone with a head wound...
**[03:17] Basue**
Welcome! Here is a towel for you!
**[03:22] Yamada**
Please use it first!
**[03:24] Yamada**
Kazama-san, I don't think this bar is...
**[03:34] Yamada**
He just made a run for it.
**[03:35] Basue**
Oh, you're that customer who came before.
**[03:40] Basue**
Feel free to relax and enjoy.
**[03:43] Basue**
And...
**[03:46] Basue**
Good-bye.
***SIGN*** Sudden departure...!
**[03:56] Akemi**
And what do you want to drink?
**[03:58] Yamada**
*She just laughed it off!*
**[03:59] Yamada**
No... I don't think I could drink after that.
**[04:04] Yamada**
I'm going home.
**[04:05] Akemi**
I solicit! I solicit!
**[04:07] Yamada**
Why is everyone misusing that word?
**[04:10] Yamada**
Well, anyway, the person
I was with went home, so...
**[04:15] Basue**
Now that the obnoxious senpai is gone,
you could relax more, no?
**[04:21] Yamada**
Oh, I'm glad you're okay.
And could you please stop reading my mind?
**[04:25] Basue**
Now, now. See?
**[04:28] Basue**
It looks like your senpai
got worried and came back.
**[04:35] Yamada**
What happened, Kazama-san?
**[04:37] Akemi**
Oh, just in case,
I installed a scissor trap outside.
**[04:42] Yamada**
Scissor traps are strictly illegal,
no matter what you use them for!
**[04:45] Akemi**
Well, what do you want me to do
about it? Bears could come out.
**[04:48] Yamada**
Yeah, then, I guess...
**[04:50] Yamada**
Wait, bears don't come out here!
**[04:52] Basue**
Now, now. Calm down. Calm down.
**[04:57] Basue**
For now... allow me to introduce myself.
**[05:03] Basue**
I am Basue, the hostess.
**[05:06] Akemi**
And I'm Akemi, the junior hostess.
**[05:10] Basue**
Oh, or perhaps a dying person
doesn't need to know my name?
**[05:16] Yamada**
Um, you're both bleeding profusely,
so shouldn't you guys go to the hospital?
**[05:20] Basue**
It seems his heart can't handle
my charm and is about to burst.
**[05:29] Kazama**
Seeking connection with women through
the suspension bridge effect!
**[05:32] Yamada**
You are way too desperate to leave
offspring when you're about to die.
**[05:36] Basue**
Oh, my, my. Come now.
**[05:40] Basue**
There, there. Relax and breathe.
**[05:46] Kazama**
Okay.
**[05:47] Basue**
Here we go. Hee Hee Blow.
**[05:51] Kazama**
La. Ma. Ze!
**[05:53] Basue**
Hee Hee Blow.
**[05:55] Kazama**
La. Ma. Ze!
**[05:56] Yamada**
He looks like he's trying
to give birth to something?!
**[05:57] Basue**
Hee Hee Blow.
**[05:59] Kazama**
La. Ma. Ze!
**[06:05] Kazama**
This snack bar is pretty good.
**[06:07] Yamada**
The context before and after this
doesn't bother you?
**[06:10] Akemi**
The context before and after?
**[06:11] Yamada**
Huh?
**[06:12] Akemi**
The context before and after
sounds kind of obscene.
**[06:17] Yamada**
Was it even necessary to add that?
**[06:20] Akemi**
That was... that was...
that was... totally obscene.
**[06:24] Yamada**
What kind of song is that?
**[06:25] Akemi**
An obscene song.
**[06:27] Yamada**
What do you mean by that?
**[06:28] Akemi {in background}**
Nah, I'm just messing with you.
It's an original.
**[06:30] Kazama**
* I was surprised when Yamada*
* told me he went to a snack bar, but...*
**[06:32] Yamada**
I didn't say anything.
**[06:34] Kazama**
*I see now.*
**[06:37] Kazama**
*He's going after the junior hostess!*
**[06:41] Kazama**
*Yamada, I guess you're a boy after all.*
**[06:43] Yamada**
Why are you quietly staring at me? Creeper.
**[06:47] Kazama**
*All right! For my cute underling,*
**[06:52] Kazama**
*I'll give him a hand, no, a whole body!*
**[06:54] Yamada**
Why are you stripping?!
**[06:56] Kazama**
I need to get myself pumped up.
**[06:58] Yamada**
I have no idea what you're about to do, but
**[07:00] Yamada**
don't you think you're going
a bit far looking like that?
**[07:07] Kazama**
*I'm going to blow a blessing senpai wind...*
***SIGN*** Senpai Whirlwind
**[07:10] Kazama**
* I'm going to stick them together and perform*
* a flash mob for them at their wedding!*
**[07:18] Kazama**
Oh, I just want to make sure, though.
Do you like flash mobs?
**[07:21] Yamada**
What are you even making sure of?
**[07:23] Kazama**
Well, you know.
**[07:26] Yamada**
Not in the slightest.
**[07:27] Kazama**
Well, you guys understand, right?
**[07:30] Akemi**
I haven't got the slightest clue what you're
trying to say, but I don't like flash mobs.
**[07:37] Akemi**
I like surprises, but like...
**[07:42] Akemi**
I just don't like them, you know?
**[07:45] Akemi**
it's like how even the Sapporo citizens
have mixed reviews
**[07:49] Akemi**
about the YOSAKOI Soran Festival?
**[07:51] Yamada**
You just dissed your
local festival out of the blue!
**[07:54] Yamada**
I get that people who don't like flash
mobs also wouldn't like YOSAKOI, but!
**[07:59] Basue**
Is this a conversation that everyone
in the country can understand?
**[08:03] Akemi**
But...
**[08:03] Basue**
I like it! There are people here
who like flash mobs too!
**[08:08] Akemi**
But...
**[08:09] Yamada**
I stand neutral on this! Why don't we just
quit while we're balanced.
**[08:14] Akemi**
But...
**[08:14] Yamada and Basue**
You're still going on?!
**[08:16] Kazama**
*Stare...*
**[08:20] Yamada**
Man, that was troublesome. Seriously...
**[08:20] Kazama**
*You know, Yamada seems to be...*
**[08:22] Kazama**
* getting along with the hostess*
* more than the junior hostess.*
**[08:26] Kazama**
*What? Could it be...?*
**[08:29] Kazama**
*Is he after* her*?!*
**[08:34] Kazama**
* Come to think of it,*
* he does look like a grandma's boy...*
**[08:38] Yamada**
What is it? Why are you staring at me, creeper?
**[08:42] Kazama**
*So he likes the overly mature woman, huh.*
**[08:46] Kazama**
*Let me try to ask in a sly way.*
**[08:48] Kazama**
Hey, are you the type who likes 8-bit art
**[08:50] Kazama**
even though you weren't born
during the Famicon era?
**[08:52] Yamada**
Seriously, what is this all about?
**[08:55] Yamada**
I don't particularly have a preference, but...
**[08:58] Akemi**
But games with 8-bit art
**[09:00] Akemi**
look more fun than those with
mediocre graphics, don't you think?
**[09:03] Basue**
No,
**[09:05] Basue**
in fact, these half-baked 8-bit "style"
games are missing the mark.
**[09:09] Basue**
I know these developers
are trying to recreate the "style,"
**[09:12] Basue**
but I can see through their half-ass
attempts and it's not the same.
**[09:18] Basue**
I think the greatest thing
about 8-bit, from back then,
**[09:20] Basue**
is the artistry that is built on a balance
that is at the very limits of
**[09:25] Basue**
achieving the highest quality within
the technical constraints of the time.
**[09:31] Yamada**
Please shut up.
**[09:32] Kazama**
Hmm...
**[09:35] Yamada**
By the way, is the wound on your leg all right?
**[09:37] Kazama**
I'm still not quite sure...
**[09:40] Yamada**
I still can't figure out what all these
questions have to do with...
**[09:45] Kazama**
That means you're not satisfied with pictures
that have a vintage filter either, right?
**[09:49] Yamada**
That's why I'm asking, with what?!
**[09:51] Basue**
The beauty behind vintage items
is the sense of romance
**[09:53] Basue**
you feel with the passage of time, after all.
**[09:56] Akemi**
But wouldn't they be considered used items then?
**[09:59] Akemi**
I'd prefer to have a brand new,
re-released version instead.
**[10:03] Basue**
Could you really call a re-released
version the real deal?
**[10:06] Yamada**
Geez, another pain in the ass topic.
**[10:10] Yamada**
Seriously, Senpai, what is going on?!
**[10:12] Yamada**
Why are you asking me all these questions?!
**[10:15] Kazama**
Yamada...!
**[10:18] Kazama**
Let's just come clean once and for all.
**[10:22] Yamada**
W-With what?
**[10:25] Kazama**
The hostess and the junior hostess...
**[10:29] Kazama**
Which one are you going after?!
**[10:36] Yamada**
So it comes down to this BS. What a pain.
**[10:37] Kazama**
What's up?
**[10:43] Yamada**
Kazama-san...
**[10:45] Yamada**
I think you've had one too many.
**[10:47] Yamada**
Let's just go home for today.
**[10:48] Kazama**
Why are you dodging the question?
**[10:51] Yamada**
You're still bleeding from your leg, too!
**[10:53] Kazama**
And what?!
**[10:55] Yamada**
Not "and what!"
**[10:57] Kazama**
Besides, you're always, always on my-!
**[11:03] Yamada**
Kazama-san, are you slacking off again?
**[11:03] Kazama**
* Yamada always, always...*
* stayed... by my side...*
**[11:06] Yamada**
Kazama-san...
**[11:15] Kazama**
N...
**[11:16] Yamada**
N?
**[11:18] Kazama**
No way.
**[11:20] Yamada**
No way?
**[11:23] Kazama**
No way... Are you after me?!
**[11:27] Akemi**
He really is a pain in the ass.
***SIGN*** (Straight to my heart)
**[11:50] Akemi**
Here you go...
**[11:54] Akemi**
Shochu... mixed with water.
**[11:57] Tatsu-ni**
Booze tastes better when you
drink in a cozy environment.
**[12:05] Tatsu-ni**
Yeah, it's shochu mixed with water.
**[12:08] Basue**
Well, of course it is.
**[12:10] Tatsu-ni**
By the way, I saw a kids' movie
yesterday at the theater.
**[12:14] Akemi**
Uh-huh.
**[12:15] Tatsu-ni**
And I ended up bawling my eyes out there.
**[12:19] Basue**
Oh my.
**[12:20] Tatsu-ni**
Oh man, my tear ducts
sure have loosened over the years...
**[12:24] Basue**
Indeed, people tend to cry more
when they grow older.
**[12:29] Akemi**
Ah, yeah, I've heard that before.
**[12:32] Tatsu-ni**
Man, I've certainly gotten old.
**[12:36] Akemi**
But, well, whatever the case,
**[12:38] Akemi**
kids' movies tend to be more
straightforward with their messages.
**[12:42] Akemi**
So naturally they make you want to cry the most.
**[12:43] Tatsu-ni**
That's what I'm talking about, Akemi-chan!
**[12:47] Tatsu-ni**
The movie I watched was about a boy
who meets a strange creature,
**[12:51] Tatsu-ni**
and they go on an adventure
together all summer and...
**[12:53] Akemi**
How corny.
**[12:55] Tatsu-ni**
First, the scene starts off
with their everyday lives...
**[13:00] Tatsu-ni**
Everyday life!
**[13:03] Akemi**
Man, I don't want to get old.
**[13:08] Basue**
It must have been a very good story
if it's making you cry this much.
**[13:12] Basue**
Here you go.
**[13:13] Tatsu-ni**
It's more so...
**[13:15] Tatsu-ni**
the opening scene of a kids' movie
where they show their everyday lives
**[13:19] Tatsu-ni**
that makes me weep...
**[13:22] Akemi**
Is that even considered
the beginning of the story?
**[13:25] Tatsu-ni**
There's nothing happier than
a normal day where nothing happens.
**[13:29] Akemi**
What I'm saying is, instead of
at the beginning of a story,
**[13:32] Akemi**
you're supposed to grasp that
at the end of a story!
**[13:34] Akemi**
Besides, if that's the type of movie you saw,
**[13:38] Akemi**
that moment would be where the boy
befriends the strange creature.
**[13:41] Alien**
Friend...
**[13:42] Akemi**
Or during the last scene, when they're
parting ways or something.
**[13:44] Alien**
Good-bye...
**[13:45] Akemi**
Aren't those the scenes
you should be crying over?
**[13:47] Tatsu-ni**
Of course...
**[13:49] Tatsu-ni**
I cried over those as well!
**[13:50] Akemi**
So you were just crying the whole time...
**[13:53] Tatsu-ni**
When you grow older, you become
weak to the nostalgic feel of things.
**[13:59] Akemi**
I'm still very young,
so I wouldn't know, but...
**[14:02] Akemi**
If you're crying that much about nostalgia,
are you struggling right now?
**[14:07] Tatsu-ni**
No, this isn't crying from sadness...
**[14:12] Tatsu-ni**
Crying from nostalgia doesn't necessarily mean
**[14:15] Tatsu-ni**
I'm regretting something from the past
and feeling like a failure in life.
**[14:23] Tatsu-ni**
It's that there's nothing happier
than experiencing a life
**[14:27] Tatsu-ni**
where I can be so moved by a kids' movie.
**[14:31] Akemi**
Visually, he just looks like he's in hell.
**[14:33] Tatsu-ni {background}**
Nothing more, I tell you...!
**[14:35] Basue**
I must say...
**[14:37] Basue**
I could understand
crying from nostalgia, but...
**[14:44] Akemi**
Isn't Tatsu-ni's crying a bit too much?
**[14:47] Tatsu-ni**
No, it's not!
**[14:49] Tatsu-ni**
I'm just slightly more sensitive
than others, that's all!
**[14:52] Akemi**
Your sensitivity level is the same as
a drugged girl from an erotic manga!
**[14:56] Erotic girl from manga**
I'm so pissed! But I can't stop feeling it!
**[15:00] Tatsu-ni**
Is it really that bad?
***SIGN*** Snack Basue
**[15:03] Tatsu-ni**
Snack Basue.
***SIGN*** (To the one I've fallen for)
**[15:12] Kosame**
*My name is Kosame Amano.*
**[15:15] Kosame**
*I'm a permanent part-timer.*
**[15:17] Kosame**
*And by chance, I'm working at a snack bar.*
**[15:25] Azuma**
Mama, you hired a good girl.
**[15:29] Basue**
Why, thank you.
**[15:31] Azuma**
Her innocence tickles a man's heart.
**[15:36] Azuma**
But...
**[15:37] Azuma**
My favorite is definitely you, Akemi.
**[15:41] Akemi**
My, I'm happy to hear that.
**[15:43] Azuma**
Tonight I'm going to finally
make you... fall for me.
**[15:48] Kosame**
Classy.
**[15:50] Akemi**
I look forward to it...
And exactly how do you intend to do that?
**[15:55] Azuma**
With...
**[15:58] Azuma**
This! Love Guru Douglas Hamada's exclusive book
for mailing list members only!
***SIGN*** Secret
**[16:02] Azuma**
"Secret Techniques: How To Guarantee
A Shot With The Bar Girl!"
**[16:10] Azuma**
If I follow his exact instructions,
I'm guaranteed to make a girl fall for me!
**[16:13] Azuma**
It's a prophetic book, I tell ya.
**[16:15] Kosame**
U-Um...
**[16:18] Kosame**
Shouldn't you keep those love manuals
**[16:21] Kosame**
a secret from the person you're using them on?
**[16:25] Azuma**
Doesn't showing this dubious book express how
serious I am about making her fall for me?
**[16:31] Kosame**
Forget serious! She's bound to run
from how desperate you are!
**[16:35] Akemi**
Well, why don't you give it a try?
**[16:38] Akemi**
Use Douglas Hamada's "Secret Techniques:
How To Guarantee A Shot With The Bar Girl!"
**[16:45] Akemi**
I'll teach you that there's
no such thing as a guarantee!
**[16:50] Kosame**
She's sounding like a strong warrior.
**[16:55] Azuma**
Here I go...
**[16:57] Azuma**
Lesson one.
**[17:00] Azuma**
"Send the lady a flower."
**[17:02] Basue**
A flower present!
**[17:05] Basue**
It's a popular gesture
men do to make their move,
**[17:08] Basue**
but often backfires because of its
association with narcissistic men.
**[17:12] Basue**
However, there's a twist.
**[17:15] Basue**
When men do it, it pleasantly surprises
the girl, because no man dares to do it!
**[17:20] Basue**
On top of that, he purposefully
sends a single flower
**[17:23] Basue**
instead of a bouquet to downplay it.
**[17:27] Basue**
He's good...
**[17:29] Kosame**
But do you really think she'd fall for it
when there's no romantic mood at all?
**[17:37] Kosame**
H-Hey, Akemi-san! Aren't you
falling a bit too easily?!
**[17:41] Azuma**
That flower is a white jasmine...
**[17:43] Azuma**
It represents...
**[17:46] Azuma**
*lust*.
**[17:50] Kosame**
Your reaction is starting to look like
someone from a food manga!
**[17:54] Kosame**
N-No way... Do they really fall, even after
you've given away your techniques?!
***SIGN*** Secret
**[17:59] Azuma**
Incredible... You're incredible,
Douglas Hamada!
**[18:03] Akemi**
Douglas Hamada!
**[18:05] Kosame**
Wait! She's falling for Douglas Hamada!
**[18:08] Basue**
Well, technically, Douglas Hamada
was the one who gave her that flower.
**[18:14] Kosame**
Um, but he didn't?
**[18:17] Azuma**
As expected of you,
Love Guru Douglas Hamada.
**[18:20] Azuma**
I feel like you've subconsciously
taken over my body.
**[18:23] Kosame**
That sounds wrong too!
**[18:26] Akemi**
Not good, not good!
**[18:27] Kosame**
Akemi-san?
**[18:29] Akemi**
I'm a hostess.
**[18:31] Akemi**
A bar girl.
**[18:33] Akemi**
Falling for booze and love...
**[18:36] Akemi**
is not allowed.
**[18:37] Kosame**
But is it all right for your face
to fall like that?
**[18:42] Azuma**
There's no way you can
escape from Douglas Hamada.
***SIGN*** Secret
**[18:45] Kosame**
What are you to Douglas Hamada, anyway?
**[18:50] Akemi**
You've had your way up until now
**[18:53] Akemi**
but it's time for my counterattack.
**[18:59] Akemi**
Eat it!
**[19:00] Akemi**
Love Maestro MacArthur Matsumoto's
informational DVD,
**[19:03] Akemi**
"Easy Watch and Learn: Guaranteed
Ways Not to Fall for a Customer.
**[19:06] Akemi**
A Manual of Tricks for
Bar Girls—Advanced Level!"
**[19:09] Kosame**
It's too niche of a product!
**[19:11] Akemi**
To think the day would come
to put these tricks to use...
**[19:16] Kosame**
Geez, use a player or something
to read it, for crying out loud.
**[19:19] Azuma**
Hmph, MacArthur Matsumoto...
A worthy opponent!
**[19:25] Akemi**
Douglas Hamada,
I'll teach you the taste of defeat!
**[19:31] Kosame**
*This is now... a proxy war!*
***SIGN*** Secret
**[19:34] Kosame**
* A proxy war between Douglas Hamada*
* and MacArthur Matsumoto!*
**[19:41] Azuma**
"You've become even more
beautiful than before."
**[19:43] Akemi**
"Shut up! Die, scumbag!"
**[19:45] Kosame**
Team Matsumoto's response
is too tactless, don't you think?!
**[19:47] Basue**
I see... If the customer despises you,
you won't have to worry about being hit on.
**[19:53] Basue**
That's one way to do it!
**[19:55] Kosame**
Doesn't that mean she's not fit for this job?
**[19:58] Kosame**
I think even Team Hamada has given up,
knowing that it's a lost cause...?
**[20:05] Azuma**
"I still love you regardless."
Super punch line.
**[20:08] Azuma**
"To that stubborn girl."
From chapter 2, verse 12.
**[20:12] Kosame**
He's starting to sound like
he's quoting from the Bible!
**[20:14] Basue**
This isn't good!
**[20:16] Basue**
They say a girl in love becomes cuter, but...
**[20:21] Basue**
Akemi-chan has become cuter!
**[20:24] Basue**
Almost as if she used an app to edit herself!
**[20:30] Azuma**
Douglas Hamada once said...
**[20:34] Azuma**
A woman who changes her face with
an app is, personally, impossible to be with!
**[20:41] Kosame**
Um... So since you've
successfully been dumped...
**[20:45] Kosame**
Everything is all good now, right?
**[20:51] Akemi**
I want to know defeat!
**[20:54] Kosame**
I have no idea what you're
even feeling anymore.
**[21:01] Basue**
Oh, you must be one of those
people who starts singing
**[21:05] Basue**
once they're done saying what they want to say.
**[21:06] Azuma**
Sometimes you just gotta sing
to process how you feel, you know?
**[21:11] Basue**
Oh, I understand.
**[21:12] [SONG] Caption**
Reserved
***SIGN*** Silhouette Romance
**[21:15] Kosame**
Is this a Douglas Hamada song?
**[21:19] Kosame**
No, it's not.
**[21:20] Kosame**
Oh, I see... Here's the mic.
**[21:23] Azuma**
Thank you.
**[21:36] Azuma**
How long ago was it when I first met you?
**[21:42] Azuma**
That small feeling I had for you
back then has now turned into love.
**[21:45] Kosame{background}**
Huh? What is he saying?
**[21:48] Basue {background}**
Kosame-chan, shh.
**[21:52] Azuma**
I'll deliver this song to you
with all my heart.
**[21:56] Azuma**
Silhouette Romance.
**[22:01] Azuma**
*A woman in love is*
**[22:06] Azuma**
*always a heroine who dreams*
**[22:15] Azuma**
*for a moment.*
**[22:21] Azuma**
*She'll sit before a mirror and ponder*
**[22:30] Azuma**
*which eye pencils to use as she lays them out.*
**[22:40] Azuma**
* The sad face she has as she looks out*
* the window disguises her heart.*
**[22:49] Azuma**
*Her scarlet silhouette.*
**[22:54] Basue**
*Silhouette!*
**[22:57] Azuma**
*Oh, now that you've stolen my heart.*
**[23:06] Azuma**
*Come at me by giving me more romance.*
**[23:17] Azuma**
*Oh, now that you've dyed me with your love,*
**[23:26] Azuma**
* don't stop the excitement*
* and give me more romance.*
**[23:37] Azuma**
Everyone, thank you for listening to my song.
**[23:41] Akemi**
You were singing about me, for sure.
**[23:45] Kosame**
Just when are those things
coming off your face?
# E4 - There Is Love / If I Should Die Tonight / Soul Shadows
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/G50UZV3XP/there-is-love--if-i-should-die-tonight--soul-shadows)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:05] Tatsu-ni**
During elementary school,
**[00:08] Tatsu-ni**
I remember the boys
who ran fast being the popular ones.
**[00:10] Tatsu-ni**
But supposedly, it's the smart ones
who are popular now.
**[00:16] Akemi**
An old man who suddenly becomes
conscious of just how
**[00:17] Akemi**
popular he was during
elementary school has serious issues.
**[00:19] Tatsu-ni**
I'm not saying it because I want to be
popular or anything, all right?
**[00:22] Tatsu-ni**
I wanted to talk about how things change everywhere,
**[00:26] Tatsu-ni**
and how it's hard to know what people
find attractive now, okay?
**[00:29] Akemi**
You seem desperate.
**[00:31] Tatsu-ni**
Stop looking at me with those
murderous, judgmental eyes!
**[00:35] Morita**
Did you just say kids who are good at
studying are popular now?
**[00:38] Morita**
Then that means...
I was born during the wrong era!
**[00:42] Akemi**
Morita, were you even that smart?
**[00:45] Morita**
What are you talking about?
**[00:47] Morita**
Get this!
**[00:48] Morita**
The child prodigy who was the first to learn
the multiplication table in my class was... me!
**[00:54] Akemi**
Men who still brag about their achievements
**[00:56] Akemi**
from elementary school have serious issues.
**[00:58] Morita**
And that's why I can't get the ladies!
**[01:00] Tatsu-ni**
Forget that.
**[01:01] Morita**
Forget that?!
**[01:02] Tatsu-ni**
In elementary school, what type
of boy did you like, Akemi-chan?
**[01:06] Morita**
Oh yeah, I want to know that, too.
Did you like the fast runners?
**[01:13] Akemi**
I liked...
**[01:15] Morita and Tatsu-ni**
You liked...?
**[01:20] Akemi**
The type of boy who used chains as a weapon!
**[01:23] Morita**
Wow, that's really specific!
**[01:33] [SONG] Sign**
Snack Basue
**[01:38] [SONG] Sign**
Snack Basue
***SIGN*** (When you fall in love)
**[02:57] Morita**
But during elementary school, there was
always at least one boy who stood out, no?
**[03:03] Tatsu-ni**
None of them had chains
as weapons though, I don't think?
**[03:07] Morita**
Speaking of which, I was one of
those elementary boys
**[03:10] Morita**
who colored their left hand with a red
marker and then sealed it with a glove.
**[03:14] Tatsu-ni**
Now, go seal that past away!
**[03:17] Tatsu-ni**
But, Akemi-chan, why would you like a weird boy
like that, who had chains as a weapon?
**[03:23] Akemi**
Hmm.
**[03:25] Akemi**
Come to think of it, I have no idea why.
**[03:29] Akemi**
But it doesn't matter whether
they're fast runners or smart...
**[03:33] Akemi**
I don't think people fall in love
for reasons like that. Here.
**[03:38] Tatsu-ni**
I see you're trying to wrap it up smoothly,
**[03:41] Tatsu-ni**
but you must have a type.
**[03:43] Morita**
It's one thing when they're
in elementary school,
**[03:45] Morita**
but grown women are pretty picky
about things like that.
**[03:48] Akemi**
Don't you preach about women, Morita!
**[03:51] Akemi**
I'm not the type of woman who gets excited
over a certain "type".
**[03:58] Akemi**
That's because my scoring is based on
**[04:01] Akemi**
a point-deduction system!
**[04:04] Akemi**
Not many people have one thing
about them that's so great it forgives all their flaws.
**[04:09] Akemi**
Oh my, a handsome man.
**[04:10] Akemi**
I think there are more people who've got some flaw so big
**[04:13] Akemi**
it overcomes all their good aspects.
**[04:15] Handsome man**
Ah am a very rich man.
**[04:18] Akemi**
Did he just call himself "Ah" for I?
**[04:20] Akemi**
Instead of finding a flaw later on
and getting upset about it,
**[04:23] Akemi**
I think it's better to know and accept it from
the start before you decide to date someone.
**[04:27] Tatsu-ni**
Well, don't they say love is unconditional?
**[04:31] Tatsu-ni**
Can't you work hard to accept those flaws?
**[04:35] Akemi**
Woah, woah.
**[04:37] Akemi**
Do I *look* like a saint?
**[04:40] Akemi**
Me? The one who's an expert at finding
people's flaws rather than their strengths?
***SIGN*** Demonic
**[04:45] Tatsu-ni**
Demonic!
**[04:46] Tatsu-ni**
Let's try to be more like the woman
in the opening song for a classy drama!
**[04:51] Morita**
Wow, you're an awful woman!
**[04:53] Morita**
But I see.
**[04:54] Morita**
Akemi-chan, that's just who you are.
**[04:56] Akemi**
That's right.
**[04:58] Morita**
But then, this is my chance.
**[05:00] Akemi**
For what?
**[05:02] Morita**
The way you score men is based on
a point-deduction system.
**[05:05] Akemi**
Yep.
**[05:06] Morita**
If it's a deduction system,
that means you start at 100!
**[05:09] Akemi**
Yeah.
**[05:11] Morita**
That means...!
**[05:12] Morita**
There's not a single thing about me worth more than 0 points!
**[05:15] Morita**
But if you're deducting from 100,
maybe I've got a chance!
**[05:19] Tatsu-ni**
Hang on there. Aren't you being a little
*too* optimistic about this?
**[05:21] Morita**
Akemi-chan! If you were to score me as a man,
how many points would I get?!
**[05:28] Akemi**
I've never given it a thought!
**[05:30] Tatsu-ni**
That means you've never even thought
of him as a man, right?
**[05:33] Tatsu-ni**
Morita-chan, just drop it already!
**[05:36] Morita**
Don't stop me, Tatsu-ni!
**[05:38] Morita**
She's about to see me as a man!
**[05:42] Tatsu-ni**
Was there ever a point in your life
when things went that smoothly?!
**[05:46] Akemi**
I wonder if I'll have enough ink.
**[05:47] Tatsu-ni and Morita**
She's fully intending to give out deductions!
**[05:50] Akemi**
Well, let's start with...
**[05:55] Akemi**
a 30 point deduction.
**[05:57] Tatsu-ni**
Geez, you're starting with his face.
**[06:00] Morita**
Everyone tells me that all the time,
so I'm used to it. No damage here.
**[06:04] Tatsu-ni**
You lost a heck of a lot of points, though.
**[06:07] Akemi**
Hmm... Also...
**[06:09] Akemi**
You're too horny. 3 point deduction.
**[06:12] Akemi**
You can't eat tomatoes. 2 point deduction.
**[06:14] Akemi**
Your fake Kansai accent. 5 point deduction.
**[06:16] Akemi**
You still live with your parents.
2 point deduction.
**[06:19] Tatsu-ni**
She seems to be taking her
deductions seriously.
**[06:21] Akemi**
Well, I think that's about it...
**[06:23] Tatsu-ni**
Oh, you actually went easier
on him than I expected...
**[06:26] Morita**
So how many points would I need to pass?
**[06:29] Akemi**
55 points.
**[06:30] Morita**
That means...
**[06:33] Morita**
I have a total deduction of 42 points.
**[06:37] Morita**
100 minus 42 means 58 points!
***SIGN*** Great
job!
**[06:39] Morita**
That means I passed!
**[06:41] Akemi**
The horniness combined with your ugly face
adds another 30 point deduction,
**[06:45] Akemi**
which makes it 28 points total.
***SIGN*** Needs significant improvement
**[06:48] Akemi**
You failed.
**[06:49] Morita**
“Universe, Heaven and Earth, and My Power!"
**[06:52] Morita**
Akemi-chan! Who do you think you are,
going around rating people with points!
**[06:57] Tatsu-ni**
I get your point, Morita-chan,
**[06:59] Tatsu-ni**
but you know, you lost the right to
criticize her as soon as you asked for it.
**[07:04] Morita**
Seriously, what the heck, man...
**[07:06] Tatsu-ni**
Morita-chan...
**[07:08] Morita**
Akemi-chan...
**[07:10] Akemi**
What?
**[07:13] Morita**
Aren't there any make-up exams I can do?
**[07:15] Tatsu-ni**
Is your heart made out of bulletproof glass?
**[07:18] Akemi**
All right... then.
**[07:22] Akemi**
Tell me...
**[07:24] Akemi**
10 things you like about me.
**[07:31] Tatsu-ni**
*That statement...*
**[07:33] Morita**
* It's definitely a trap*
* for more point deductions.*
**[07:39] Tatsu-ni**
Akemi-chan, you say you've got
a point-deduction system.
**[07:42] Tatsu-ni**
But then, why did you keep falling
for those scumbags?
**[07:47] Tatsu-ni**
You're still paying off that debt
from your ex, aren't you?
**[07:51] Akemi**
Well, in the end...
**[07:53] Akemi**
There's no logical explanation
when it comes to love.
**[08:04] Morita**
What the heck? What the heck is up with that?
**[08:07] Tatsu-ni**
Keep it together, Morita-chan...
**[08:10] Morita**
That...
**[08:12] Morita**
That means...
**[08:16] Morita**
I... I...
**[08:21] Morita**
I still have a chance, doesn't it?!
**[08:25] Tatsu-ni**
* I see. There really is no logical*
* explanation when it comes to love...*
***SIGN*** (I'm done for tonight)
**[08:38] Kawa**
Oh man, I have a major hangover.
**[08:41] Akemi**
Are you okay, Kawa-chan?
**[08:44] Kawa**
I haven't gotten blackout drunk
for a while...
**[08:48] Akemi**
Don't come to a snack bar
with a hangover like that.
**[08:51] Akemi**
Here. Have some water.
**[08:53] Kawa**
Oh, thanks.
**[08:56] Akemi**
And? Where did you go drinking?
**[08:58] Kawa**
I seriously can't remember...
**[09:03] Kawa**
When I woke up, I was in
some kind of group seminar.
**[09:07] Kawa**
Cracks me up.
**[09:09] Akemi**
How can you laugh at that?!
**[09:11] Akemi**
Don't drink so hard you forget how you got there!
**[09:13] Kawa**
Yeah.
**[09:16] Akemi**
By the way...
**[09:17] Akemi**
What's that thick collar?
**[09:21] Kawa**
What?
**[09:22] Kawa**
What the heck is this?
**[09:24] Kawa**
Did I impulsively buy this while I was drunk?
**[09:29] Akemi**
If you keep drinking like that,
you're really gonna do something you regret.
**[09:34] Akemi**
Speaking of that collar...
**[09:40] Akemi**
Isn't that a death-game collar?
**[09:43] Kawa**
There's no way...
**[09:44] Akemi**
Wait! If you try to force it off,
it might explode!
**[09:48] Kawa**
A death game?
**[09:50] Kawa**
Seriously, what a load of crap.
**[09:53] Kawa**
Why would anybody do that?
**[09:56] Kawa**
And why does it have to be me
getting caught up in this mess?
**[10:00] Akemi**
That's a common phrase
death game participants say!
**[10:02] Akemi**
Let's sort out the situation first.
**[10:05] Akemi**
Do you remember anything else?
It could be anything.
**[10:09] Kawa**
Um... Well, the first thing I remember...
**[10:12] Kawa**
There were these dudes with weird masks
**[10:14] Kawa**
conducting the seminar who left
an impression on me...
**[10:17] Akemi**
See, I told you! It's a death game!
**[10:19] Kawa**
And I wasn't interested, so I left.
**[10:21] Akemi**
You have to wait for the first victim!
**[10:24] Akemi**
When someone's collar first explodes,
that's when they officially start it.
**[10:28] Kawa**
But as you can see, I'm still alive.
**[10:31] Akemi**
It's so strange...
**[10:33] Akemi**
They usually make it so that people
can't escape the death game...
**[10:38] Akemi**
No, what if escaping is part of the rules?
**[10:43] Kawa**
What do you mean, rules?
**[10:44] Akemi**
In a death game, there are
strict rules you have to follow.
**[10:50] Akemi**
The rules of a death game
are simple and fair.
**[10:54] Akemi**
It's supposed to have interesting rules
that involve battles of wits
**[10:58] Akemi**
which test not only your skills
but also your luck.
**[11:02] Kawa**
They're asking way too much...
**[11:04] Akemi**
Of course! People entrust their lives
to these rules!
**[11:09] Kawa**
And how does that work out for them?
**[11:12] Kawa**
You know...
**[11:14] Kawa**
Now that I've been wrapped up
in this death game,
**[11:17] Kawa**
and I'm facing death...
**[11:20] Kawa**
I have no wife or kids to worry about,
or anybody who'll miss me.
**[11:24] Kawa**
And I don't particularly take any joy
in living anymore, so...
**[11:28] Kawa**
Come to think of it,
**[11:32] Kawa**
I really feel like I've lived my life
to the fullest with no regrets.
**[11:37] Akemi**
Don't seek life in death!
**[11:39] Akemi**
It's too soon to be throwing your life away!
**[11:42] Akemi**
If you win this game, they might grant you any wish!
**[11:44] Akemi**
You might even get loads of cash!
**[11:47] Kawa**
Where are you getting this from?
**[11:48] Akemi**
Death games are usually like that
to motivate the participants!
**[11:53] Kawa**
What do you mean, motivate...?
**[11:54] Kawa**
You know their lives are on the line, right?
**[11:56] Kawa**
You're pretty much forced to do it.
**[11:58] Akemi**
Just because their lives are on the line
doesn't mean that people are motivated!
**[12:02] Akemi**
Look at yourself, for instance.
**[12:04] Kawa**
You got me there...
**[12:07] Akemi**
Isn't work like that too?
**[12:09] Akemi**
If you don't do it, you don't
get to eat.
**[12:11] Akemi**
Which is the same as putting
your life on the line.
**[12:15] Kawa**
Now that you mention it...
**[12:16] Akemi**
You get more motivated knowing
**[12:17] Akemi**
you get something out of it than
if you're forced to do it, don't you think?
**[12:21] Kawa**
Yeah, like getting paid commissions.
**[12:27] Kawa**
Yeah, you're right.
**[12:28] Kawa**
If I think of it as turning my life around,
I think it's worth giving it a shot.
**[12:32] Akemi**
That's the spirit!
**[12:35] Akemi**
Okay, let's first check to see if you were
given any items besides the collar.
**[12:40] Kawa**
An item?
**[12:41] Akemi**
Death games are like that!
**[12:43] Kawa**
You really know your stuff...
Do you have previous experience or something?
**[12:46] Akemi**
Excuse me...
**[12:48] Akemi**
Smart phone...
**[12:49] Akemi**
House keys...
**[12:51] Akemi**
Wallet...
**[12:53] Kawa**
Are you searching me for secret tools or something?
**[12:55] Akemi**
A mysterious remote!
**[12:57] Akemi**
I think this is it!
**[13:08] Akemi**
Also...
**[13:10] Akemi**
Death game participants
**[13:11] Akemi**
tend to have some kind of mysterious tattoo
somewhere on their bodies.
**[13:20] Kawa**
I don't even know anymore, but...
**[13:22] Kawa**
Regardless of being involved in a death game,
did I just die a little inside?
**[13:26] Akemi**
I think the challenge for future
generations is to eliminate such prejudices!
**[13:30] Kawa**
It's hard to believe that this
remarkable response
**[13:32] Kawa**
came from a run-down snack bar.
***SIGN*** Snack Basue
**[13:35] Kawa**
Snack Basue.
***SIGN*** (It was like an illusion)
**[13:47] Akemi**
An earthquake?!
**[13:51] Yamada**
It's pretty big.
**[13:53] Kazama**
Gotta stay calm at times like these!
**[13:58] Yamada**
What?
**[14:01] Akemi**
What?
**[14:02] Yamada**
What?
**[14:03] Kazama**
Huh?
**[14:04] Kazama**
Wha?
**[14:07] Kazama**
My bad. It was me and my jitters.
**[14:11] Akemi and Yamada**
What?!
**[14:12] Yamada**
Senpai, why don't we stop that for a moment?
**[14:16] Kazama**
Hold up, give me a sec!
**[14:24] Yamada**
That is definitely not from
restlessness, is it?!
**[14:27] Akemi**
I hear it's bad manners to have
the jitters, but it's good for your body.
**[14:32] Yamada**
I feel like we've gone beyond manners
and into legal issues here...
**[14:37] Akemi**
When you're sitting for long periods of time,
it's not good for your blood circulation.
**[14:40] Akemi**
So jittering your legs like that helps the flow
**[14:43] Akemi**
and prevents economy-class syndrome.
**[14:46] Kazama**
You're right. When I sit for too long,
**[14:48] Kazama**
my circulation gets messed up
and I swell from the waist down.
**[14:52] Yamada**
Are you sure your circulation is
the only thing that's messed up?
**[14:55] Kazama**
What? Like the world?
**[14:57] Yamada**
Yes, right in this spot in this big wide world!
**[15:01] Yamada**
Geez...
**[15:02] Kazama**
What's wrong with a little jittering?
**[15:05] Kazama**
We're buds, aren't we?
**[15:08] Yamada**
That makes it even worse...
**[15:11] Yamada**
Besides, Kazama-san, I don't have
a good impression of you to begin with...
**[15:15] Kazama**
That's the face he only makes at me...
**[15:18] Kazama**
Cute, isn't it?
**[15:20] Akemi**
He has the talent of finding
the good in people,
**[15:22] Akemi**
but there's nothing good about him, is there?
**[15:29] Yamada**
Huh?
**[15:32] Akemi**
Hm?
**[15:33] Akemi**
Is something wrong?
**[15:35] Yamada**
Oh, no, I thought I saw some kind of
strange creature just now...
**[15:40] Akemi**
If it's a strange creature you're looking for, Yamada,
he's right next to you...
**[15:42] Kazama**
If you praise me that much,
you're gonna make me blush.
**[15:45] Akemi**
Doesn't the word "sarcasm"
exist in your dictionary?
**[15:49] Akemi**
Well, Tatsu-ni brought in some
shumai yesterday,
**[15:53] Akemi**
so have some and calm down a bit, okay?
**[15:57] Akemi**
Oh.
**[16:00] Akemi**
Not again...
**[16:03] Pinky**
That usually happens when it says,
"Tear here," on off-brand items.
**[16:09] Akemi**
It's the type of packet that's either going
to tear open or make my vein tear open.
**[16:13] Akemi**
It says "tear" all over the place...
***SIGN*** Tear here. Tear here. Tear here.
**[16:16] Akemi**
It's supposed to be an explanation
for the customer, right?
**[16:18] Akemi**
Or is the packet giving *itself* a suggestion?
**[16:20] Pinky**
But even though the packet isn't open,
you did tear it a little.
**[16:24] Akemi**
Stop spreading that fake news!
**[16:28] Akemi**
Well, it's fine as long as it actually
opens "from somewhere"
**[16:32] Akemi**
rather than "from anywhere."
**[16:38] Pinky**
Oh dear...
**[16:40] Pinky**
Why don't you just give up
and use the scissors?
**[16:44] Akemi**
Oh no, this is way beyond that point now!
**[16:46] Akemi**
It says it can tear, and I can't tear it!
**[16:50] Akemi**
This is the same feeling as...
**[16:52] Akemi**
What do you want to eat today?
**[16:53] Man**
Anything is fine.
**[16:55] Akemi**
Okay, then we're having Chinese.
**[16:56] Man**
Nah, I don't feel like having Chinese.
**[16:59] Akemi**
This feeling!
**[17:01] Akemi**
This unsettling feeling!
**[17:02] Akemi**
If he didn't want Chinese,
he should have said that in the first place!
**[17:05] Akemi**
Speaking of which, what the heck are you?
**[17:06] Pinky**
I'm Pinky Unicorn!
**[17:09] Pinky**
I can only be seen by highly stressed people!
**[17:12] Pinky**
Just like how people's faith shaped God,
**[17:15] Pinky**
the stresses of modern society shaped me.
**[17:20] Akemi**
What... did you say...
**[17:22] Kosame**
Akemi-san's self-talk sure is intense.
**[17:22] Akemi**
That means all the stress I've been having...
**[17:25] Kosame**
Do you think she may be on drugs or something?
**[17:27] Akemi**
No way... then back then too...
**[17:28] Basue**
Just what do you take her for?
**[17:31] Basue**
But she does look like she's about to...
**[17:34] Basue**
She seems to be under a lot of stress...
**[17:37] Basue**
I assume it's from that packet in her hand
that claims to be able to tear from anywhere.
**[17:42] Kosume**
Because of that?
**[17:44] Basue**
Oh, don't underestimate the small things.
**[17:47] Basue**
Each little stress might not be much, but...
**[17:51] Basue**
When it builds up over time,
humans can break down ever so easily.
**[17:56] Kosame**
Wow... those eyes have seen it all.
**[17:59] Basue**
Now then, alley-oop.
**[18:02] Basue**
Let me go get the scissors for Akemi-chan...
**[18:05] Basue**
Scissors. Scissors.
**[18:08] Basue**
Oh, dear... oh, dear...
**[18:12] Kosame**
Huh? Mama?
**[18:15] Kosame**
Mama?!
**[18:17] Basue**
A ghost... hid the scissors...
**[18:20] Kosame**
You're disheartened just because
the scissors aren't in their usual place?
**[18:24] Pinky**
I'm Pinky Unicorn.
**[18:26] Kosame**
What are you?!
**[18:28] Pinky**
My existence can only be seen
by people who feel very stressed.
**[18:32] Pinky**
You can see me, can't you?
**[18:34] Pinky**
Stress is contagious!
**[18:38] Pinky**
The development of human technology
is a history of conflict...
**[18:41] Pinky**
That can be a conflict among humans.
**[18:44] Pinky**
Or a conflict with nature...
**[18:46] Pinky**
And in recent years, the pursuit of convenience
has come into conflict with stress!
**[18:51] Pinky**
And on behalf of stresses everywhere, I declare
war on those who try to get rid of us!
**[18:59] Kosame**
No way.
**[19:01] Yamada**
There's really no need to declare war.
Stress will never go away.
**[19:05] Kazama**
Why are you looking at me? Something wrong?
**[19:08] Kazama**
Just what is everyone talking about?
**[19:11] Kosame**
It's not fair that the cause of the stress
feels no stress at all...
**[19:17] Tatsu-ni**
Hey, you guys having fun?
**[19:21] Kosame**
Tatsu-ni... The stress... The stress is...
**[19:22] Akemi {background}**
I can't tear it... I can't tear it...
**[19:26] Tatsu-ni**
Stress?
**[19:28] Tatsu-ni**
Then, why don't we all have a drink?
**[19:31] Tatsu-ni**
I have some pent-up stress too, so.
**[19:33] Tatsu-ni**
Let's just drink it all away,
like you're supposed to at a snack bar.
**[19:39] Tatsu-ni**
Toku, toku, toku, toku, Tokugawa Shogunate...
**[19:42] Kosame and Yamada**
What?
**[19:43] Tatsu-ni**
There.
**[19:46] Pinky**
Stop... Stop it right now!
**[19:51] Akemi**
Man, that's good!
**[19:53] Akemi**
I feel it coursing through my organs.
**[19:55] Akemi**
I don't care about those
unimportant things anymore!
**[19:57] Pinky**
Just because you're feeling good...
doesn't mean the stress is completely gone.
**[20:01] Akemi**
That's right, Pinky Unicorn.
**[20:04] Akemi**
That's why I've decided...
**[20:08] Akemi**
to cope with stress.
***SIGN*** D r u n k
**[20:16] Basue**
Drunk!
**[20:19] Akemi**
Super Junior Hostess Akemi!
**[20:23] Tatsu-ni**
Akemi-chan's face, which normally
doesn't change color when drunk, is now...
**[20:28] Kosame**
Transformed!
**[20:29] Yamada**
And mostly into a unicorn!
**[20:42] Akemi**
After getting drunk on booze, it's not
so bad to get drunk on power as well!
**[21:03] Kazama**
Alley-oop.
**[21:05] Yamada**
Oh, Kazama-san, you're all right.
**[21:10] Kazama**
You wanna sing something?
**[21:11] Yamada**
Are you sure you understand what's going on?
**[21:14] Kazama**
Of course I do. Akemi-chan
turned into a unicorn, right?
**[21:18] Kazama**
When you drink booze and get drunk, it happens.
**[21:21] Yamada**
You're saying it as if she's just drinking,
**[21:23] Yamada**
but you understand her form changed too, right?
**[21:25] Kazama**
Yep.
**[21:27] Kazama**
And? What do you want to sing?
**[21:29] Basue**
As expected from you, Kazama-chan.
**[21:31] Tatsu-ni**
Well, I feel a little responsible
for offering the booze,
**[21:35] Tatsu-ni**
so why don't we sing our lungs out,
drive the stress away,
**[21:38] Tatsu-ni**
and help Akemi-chan return to her usual self?
**[21:42] Yamada**
Would that even work?
**[21:44] [SONG] Caption**
Reserved
***SIGN*** Survival
**[21:46] Tatsu-ni**
Oh, Hokkaido's hero!
**[21:48] Kazama**
It's gotta be this song in order to live
through this stressful society.
**[21:52] Kosame**
You're right...
**[21:54] Yamada**
But, isn't this song pretty hard to sing?
**[21:57] Yamada**
You can sing this song, Kazama-san?
**[22:00] Yamada**
Huh?
**[22:01] Kazama**
Give me a hand for the parts I can't sing.
**[22:05] Yamada**
All right.
**[22:20] Yamada**
I'm counting on you, Kazama-san.
**[22:25] Kazama**
*Loudly, go.*
**[22:28] Yamada**
* The commentator yells,*
* this is the era of survival.*
**[22:31] Kazama**
*I made... Yeah!*
**[22:34] Yamada**
*... an ominous prediction and left it in the dark.*
**[22:37] Kazama**
*In the mirror... oh yeah!*
**[22:40] Yamada**
*... there's a face that mocks yesterday's mistakes.*
**[22:44] Yamada**
* W-We wandered astray,*
* here and there, throughout the day.*
**[22:50] Yamada**
* Even if you get caught up*
* in the waves of society*
**[22:53] Yamada**
*and you stick out a slightly sarcastic tongue.*
**[22:56] Yamada**
*To you, who's running through the Heisei era*
**[22:59] Yamada**
*with your abundant vitality!*
**[23:03] Kazama**
* There's a light that shines*
* throughout the vast sky. Go!*
**[23:10] Yamada**
* When we let loose our desires,*
* on the last day of Earth,*
**[23:13] Yamada**
*we can become Adam and Eve.*
**[23:15] Kazama**
* There are things we need*
* in order to live, go!*
**[23:22] Yamada**
* Even a little bit of*
* disappointment, in the long run,*
**[23:24] Yamada**
*can be seen as the finest spice you can taste.*
**[23:27] Kazama and Yamada**
Oh yes!
**[23:31] Yamada**
Kazama-san, you didn't sing most of it!
**[23:34] Kazama**
So what? We can call it a duet.
**[23:38] Basue**
Oh, yes, there are definitely those people
who know they can't sing it alone,
**[23:41] Basue**
and yet still pick a song.
**[23:42] Akemi**
I know what you mean.
**[23:44] Akemi**
But, the last part where you scream,
**[23:45] Akemi**
you just can't help but want to
scream along, you know?
**[23:47] Kosame**
Oh, Akemi-san, you've turned back.
# E5 - Get on the Good Foot / Talkin' Loud And Saying Nothin' / My Funny Valentine
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GWDU8JZE1/get-on-the-good-foot--talkin-loud-and-saying-nothin--my-funny-valentine)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** Palmistry
***SIGN*** Douglas
***SIGN*** If you
can see
it
***SIGN*** You can touch it!
***SIGN*** Douglas Hamada
**[00:07] Azuma**
You have a distinct health line.
**[00:09] Kosame**
A health line?
**[00:11] Azuma**
That's right.
**[00:12] Azuma**
You see the line that starts
from your pinky and stretches down?
**[00:15] Kosame**
Oh yeah, you're right...
**[00:17] Kosame**
That means I don't have to worry
about my health for a while, right?
**[00:21] Azuma**
No, it's the opposite.
**[00:23] Azuma**
It seems the more distinct the line is,
the more health problems you're bound to have.
**[00:26] Kosame**
Well, that's confusing.
**[00:28] Akemi**
* Using palm reading as an*
* excuse to touch a girl's hand.*
***SIGN*** Book of Palmistry
**[00:32] Akemi**
*It's a basic move.*
**[00:33] Akemi**
* But here in this dumpy snack bar,*
* we've seen it used one too many times...*
**[00:38] Akemi**
* It's so boring that it's*
* putting me straight to sleep. Zzz...*
**[00:44] Tatsu-ni**
I've been tired lately too.
**[00:48] Akemi**
* You should just suspect you have*
* a disease and go to the hospital.*
**[00:51] Tatsu-ni**
Are we so close that you can convey
your worries through telepathy?
**[00:55] Azuma**
Then, how about...
**[00:57] Azuma**
we do foot acupoints next?
***SIGN*** Right on the spot!
***SIGN*** Book of Foot Acupoints
***SIGN*** Douglas Hamada
**[01:01] Akemi**
*Don't tell me...*
**[01:02] Akemi**
* He's gonna try and touch her feet*
* like you touch someone's hand with palm reading?*
**[01:05] Kosame**
Oh, no... that's a bit...
**[01:08] Azuma**
Why is that?
**[01:11] Kosame**
Well, you know...
**[01:14] Azuma**
Could it be...
**[01:16] Azuma**
that you have stinky feet?
**[01:18] Kosame**
How rude!
**[01:27] [SONG] Sign**
Snack Basue
**[01:32] [SONG] Sign**
Snack Basue
***SIGN*** (Put best foot forward)
**[02:52] Azuma**
There are acupoints
on the feet that help you detox
**[02:55] Azuma**
and suppress body odor too, you know.
**[02:59] Kosame**
I wasn't concerned about my feet stinking,
**[03:02] Kosame**
but now that you mention it,
it's making me worried...
**[03:06] Kosame**
The rescue boat I asked for looks
more like an amphibious assault ship.
**[03:09] Akemi**
He was just being so annoying with his *points*
**[03:12] Akemi**
that I went for the secret one that
elementary school kids are talking about...
**[03:14] Akemi**
I poked him in the diarrhea point.
**[03:17] Akemi**
You are... already dead.
**[03:19] Tatsu-ni**
Well, if he leaks, I'd say he'll die of
embarrassment. That's for sure.
**[03:26] Tatsu-ni**
What?!
**[03:27] Azuma**
Unfortunately for you, the point
she poked is called Hyakue,
**[03:30] Azuma**
which is effective against
headaches and hemorrhoids.
**[03:33] Tatsu-ni**
You've made him feel
healthier without realizing it!
**[03:36] Akemi**
I still have a ways to go to reach
the Hokuto Shinken I seek.
**[03:39] Akemi**
Shit... I can't even think of where
I should press to cause damage!
**[03:46] Kosame**
That's true. When you mention acupoints,
**[03:49] Kosame**
it seems any that you press
would be beneficial in some way.
**[03:53] Azuma**
Well...
**[03:56] Azuma**
You did poke it really hard,
so I did take some damage.
**[04:01] Akemi**
Oh... I'm sorry...
**[04:03] Azuma**
But when that happens,
you press this acupoint and...
**[04:07] Narrator**
*Hegu.*
***SIGN*** Hegu
**[04:09] Narrator**
* It is the point located between the base*
* of the thumb and index finger.*
**[04:12] Narrator**
* Pressing this pressure point seems*
* to be effective against headaches,*
**[04:15] Narrator**
* stiff shoulders, eye fatigue,*
* insomnia, drowsiness,*
**[04:17] Narrator**
* high blood pressure, internal organ*
* fatigue, hay fever, stress, etc.*
**[04:20] Narrator**
*An all-purpose acupoint.*
**[04:22] Tatsu-ni**
It's Shigeru Chiba. I'm so happy.
**[04:24] Kosame**
What are you talking about?
**[04:26] Akemi**
Hey, don't you think that acupoint
works a little *too* well?
**[04:29] Azuma**
But whenever I do research
on what acupoints work,
**[04:32] Azuma**
I could almost say it always
leads me to this Hegu point.
**[04:35] Akemi**
Should an amazing acupoint
like that really be in the hand?
**[04:41] Akemi**
Well, anyway, when in doubt
just press it, right?
**[04:45] Kosame**
It's almost like a reset button on a device.
Like the ones you need a toothpick to push.
**[04:59] Akemi**
My left hand gets tired from
pushing the right hand's acupoint.
**[05:02] Akemi**
Then my right hand gets tired
pushing the left hand's acupoint.
**[05:05] Akemi**
Then, my left hand gets tired again
and it's an endless cycle.
**[05:09] Kosame**
You're an endless idiot!
**[05:11] Kosame**
But do these acupoints really
work like they say they do?
**[05:16] Azuma**
Huh?
**[05:18] Kosame**
I understand and do believe
that the blood circulation
**[05:22] Kosame**
gets better the more you press on it.
**[05:25] Kosame**
But don't you think it's just a placebo effect
**[05:28] Kosame**
when they say pressing the hand and feet
directly affects your eyes or liver?
**[05:35] Azuma**
Now that you mention it,
Eastern medicine tends to work
**[05:39] Azuma**
in mysterious ways without
actually knowing *why* it works.
**[05:42] Azuma**
However, there are definitely acupoints
that do work on specific areas.
***SIGN*** Right on the spot!
**[05:48] Azuma**
It says so in the book!
***SIGN*** Book of Foot Acupoints
***SIGN*** Douglas Hamada
**[05:50] Kosame**
Are you that naive?!
**[05:51] Azuma**
On top of that, the author of
the book is Douglas Hamada!
**[05:55] Kosame**
Is he serious?!
**[05:57] Akemi**
Hey, all the books you've read on palm reading
and dating are by Douglas Hamada!
**[06:03] Kosame**
You definitely shouldn't be trusting
a book written by someone
**[06:06] Kosame**
whose field of expertise you don't know!
**[06:09] Kosame**
Isn't there a saying about
"seeing is believing?"
***SIGN*** If you do
palmistry,
you can touch
the girl's hand!
***SIGN*** Douglas Hamada
**[06:12] Kosame**
Don't just take the contents
of a book at face value!
**[06:16] Azuma**
Then...
**[06:18] Azuma**
Why don't we test out the foot
acupoints written in this book,
**[06:21] Azuma**
to see whether they work or not?
**[06:23] Akemi**
Why, you...!
**[06:24] Akemi**
You were setting us up for this?!
**[06:25] Azuma**
How about it?
**[06:27] Azuma**
You can find out whether the comedians
on TV actually feel the pain or not
**[06:30] Azuma**
when they do this.
**[06:32] Azuma**
That's right...
**[06:34] Azuma**
Seeing is believing, right?
**[06:37] Akemi**
* He's playing it off like*
* he meant to lead to this!*
**[06:42] Akemi**
Kosame-chan, it looks like
**[06:44] Akemi**
you're going to have to give in
and prepare yourself to give him a foot.
**[06:48] Kosame**
As much as I hate giving away one
Yukimi daifuku, I don't want to!
**[06:51] Akemi**
Then, how about a Pino?
**[06:53] Kosame**
If it's that, I'd give him one, but what
does that have to do with this?
**[06:58] Tatsu-ni**
Then, maybe I'll have him do mine.
**[07:01] Akemi**
Your feet seriously stink, Tatsu-ni,
so don't take off your shoes inside the bar.
**[07:05] Tatsu-ni**
My feet do not stink and I've never
taken them off, so how would you know?!
**[07:10] Akemi**
Just, please.
***SIGN*** Right on the spot!
***SIGN*** Book of Foot Acupoints
**[07:16] Kosame**
Why do I have to?!
**[07:19] Akemi**
It'll be all right.
**[07:21] Akemi**
He has no intention of doing
anything perverted anyway.
**[07:24] Akemi**
He just wants to know
if what's written is true or not.
**[07:28] Kosame**
That makes me worry even more,
with the mad scientist vibe going on.
**[07:34] Kosame**
Seriously, you're only good when it comes
to setting people up like this, aren't you...
**[07:42] Azuma**
All right... Here I go.
**[07:49] Kosame**
Ow!
**[07:51] Kosame**
Ow!
**[07:52] Kosame**
Ow!
***SIGN*** (Don't say mean things.)
**[08:26] Akemi**
Yamada...
**[08:28] Yamada**
Yes?
**[08:30] Akemi**
Let's party by talking shit about people!
**[08:32] Yamada**
You're off to an awful start.
**[08:34] Akemi**
But, I really think talking shit about people
**[08:37] Akemi**
is the best way to get
an exciting conversation going...
**[08:39] Yamada**
It sounds worse when you put it that way...
**[08:41] Akemi**
Aren't the times when
humans raged with dissatisfaction
**[08:44] Akemi**
and frustration the highlights
of human history?
**[08:47] Yamada**
They're also the parts of history
that should not be repeated.
**[08:51] Yamada**
Don't you have something more cheerful to say?
**[08:54] Akemi**
Where there is light, there is darkness.
**[08:57] Yamada**
Let there be light first!
**[08:59] Yamada**
But, Akemi-san, I didn't think you
would be the type to say bad...
**[09:03] Yamada**
or maybe not?
**[09:05] Yamada**
Nah, never mind.
**[09:06] Akemi**
I beg your pardon!
**[09:07] Akemi**
I say things that make fun of people,
but I rarely talk badly about people!
**[09:13] Yamada**
How is that any different?
**[09:15] Yamada**
But I guess, since you put it that way,
**[09:18] Yamada**
you must really be
holding something in, aren't you?
**[09:21] Akemi**
Yeah, I want you to hear me out.
**[09:24] Yamada**
Um, at a snack bar, I'm the one who should be
asking you to hear me out, you know.
**[09:29] Yamada**
Well, what is it that you want to get out?
**[09:34] Akemi**
I really think people who love
extremely spicy food are insane!
**[09:37] Yamada**
Oh, didn't expect it to be that vague.
**[09:40] Yamada**
Don't you normally get pumped up by
speaking badly about your boss or something?
**[09:45] Akemi**
My boss is watching right next to me!
**[09:48] Yamada**
Oh, right...
**[09:49] Basue**
To see with eyes unclouded...
**[09:52] Basue**
However, these eyes
are looking far in the distance.
**[10:00] Akemi**
How could he come to a snack bar
**[10:02] Akemi**
and give the impression of not
wanting to be bothered by anyone?
**[10:06] Yamada**
Yeah, he does have his headphones
and a newspaper after all.
**[10:09] Akemi**
So bothersome.
**[10:11] Yamada**
Isn't customer service about...
**[10:15] Akemi**
Kawa-chan, I would never want
to talk to you if it weren't for my job.
**[10:20] Akemi**
But what are you listening to?
**[10:24] Akemi**
Those are headphones, so stop trying to hand
me one side as if they were earphones!
**[10:31] Akemi**
English conversation?
**[10:32] Akemi**
Are you sure you're able to listen and
read a newspaper at the same time?
**[10:38] Akemi**
Actually, the newspaper is in English too.
**[10:41] Akemi**
Kawa-chan, are you fluent in English?
***SIGN*** Alphabet
Biscuits
**[10:45] Kawa**
B.
**[10:46] Akemi**
Ah, nope, he's probably
in the middle of studying English.
**[10:49] Akemi**
And a beginner at that.
**[10:51] Kawa**
A.
**[10:52] Akemi**
Is this where you're going to follow it
with K and A to mean idiot?
**[10:55] Yamada**
Um... Why did you decide to
study English all of a sudden?
**[11:00] Kawa**
Uh, I'm not really studying it or anything...
**[11:04] Akemi**
Then does that mean you already know it?
**[11:07] Kawa**
No, but...
**[11:09] Yamada**
I have no idea where he's going with this.
**[11:12] Kawa**
The thing is...
**[11:14] Kawa**
I just wanted people to think I know
English and seem smart, is all!
**[11:20] Yamada**
Oh...
**[11:22] Akemi**
You're a fool.
**[11:24] Akemi**
You see, Kawa-chan, to think
knowing English equals being smart
**[11:29] Akemi**
is already something a dumbass would think.
**[11:31] Kawa**
But, you gotta be smart to know English, right?
**[11:33] Kawa**
English is cool, isn't it?
**[11:35] Yamada**
Well...
**[11:36] Akemi**
Sex!
**[11:37] Yamada**
That's horrible!
**[11:39] Kawa**
Shit! It's the perfect objection!
**[11:41] Akemi**
If you actually spoke English,
I'd think you were intelligent.
**[11:45] Akemi**
But, the fact that you think being able to
speak it is intelligent makes you sound dumb.
**[11:50] Kawa**
Yeah, come to think of it...
**[11:51] Akemi**
That said... Am I a dumbass?
**[11:54] Kawa**
The world is full of sad truths.
**[11:58] Kawa**
Then what actually makes you sound intelligent?
**[12:02] Kawa**
Out of all the people you've met, Akemi-chan,
**[12:04] Kawa**
what type of person
would you consider intelligent?
**[12:08] Akemi**
An intelligent person...
**[12:11] Akemi**
It might just be because of
where I work, but I haven't met one yet.
**[12:15] Kawa**
She thinks everyone she meets is an idiot!
**[12:18] Yamada**
Isn't that talking badly about others?!
**[12:20] Basue**
In front of them, nonetheless!
***SIGN*** Snack Basue
**[12:25] Morita**
Snack Basue.
***SIGN*** (To my dearest love)
**[12:36] Morita**
Akemi-chan... why...
**[12:38] Akemi**
"Why can't I be popular
with the ladies," right?
**[12:42] Morita**
You read my mind...
**[12:44] Morita**
No, our hearts connected, didn't they?!
**[12:47] Akemi**
What?
**[12:48] Morita**
This is it!
**[12:50] Akemi**
What do you mean, this is it?!
**[12:52] Akemi**
Recently, that's all you've been saying!
**[12:55] Morita**
Seriously, please don't say that...
**[12:56] Morita**
Can you just please ride the wave
with me or ride me and resolve it?
**[13:02] Akemi**
I'll ride the wave, but can I just
copy and paste myself here?
**[13:06] Morita**
Is there no love in this world?!
**[13:09] Akemi**
You come here quite often,
but are you *that* bored?
**[13:13] Akemi**
Well, I am grateful, since I get to
slack off during Morita episodes.
**[13:16] Morita**
That was wrong in so many ways!
**[13:19] Morita**
Also, your lip flaps aren't
matching anymore either!
***SIGN*** Action
***SIGN*** Current Frame
***SIGN*** Script
**[13:25] Morita**
Geez...
**[13:29] Akemi**
Oh, I know what it is.
It is that time of the year, after all.
**[13:32] Morita**
Huh? What do you mean?
**[13:38] Akemi**
You want it, don't you?
**[13:39] Akemi**
A Valentine's Day chocolate.
**[13:42] Morita**
Akemi-chan, thank you!
**[13:44] Akemi**
But before that...
**[13:48] Akemi**
You still haven't given me mine
from last year, have you?
**[13:52] Morita**
What?
**[13:55] Morita**
U-Um... I didn't?
**[13:59] Akemi**
You bet!
**[14:02] Akemi**
And it's not just you either, Morita!
**[14:06] Akemi**
Our customers just take what they can get
and never give me anything for White Day...
**[14:12] Akemi**
I don't care what it is,
I wish they'd give me something.
**[14:15] Morita**
All right then.
**[14:18] Akemi**
Gross.
**[14:19] Morita**
Why is that?! Akemi-chan, you love money!
**[14:23] Akemi**
You understand me very well, but from
a girl's standpoint you don't get us at all!
**[14:29] Morita**
Wha...
**[14:30] Akemi**
If you give me money for giving you chocolate,
**[14:33] Akemi**
I'm no different than a retail store!
**[14:36] Akemi**
All I want is something with a little class
**[14:39] Basue**
and for it to remind me
how loved I am by everyone.
**[14:43] Basue**
Akemi-chan.
**[14:44] Akemi**
What is it, Mama?
**[14:46] Basue**
That's backwards.
**[14:48] Akemi**
Backwards?
**[14:49] Basue**
Snack bar Valentine's is a day when we give
thanks to everyone for always loving us.
**[14:57] Basue**
You're giving a heartfelt thanks that says
"Thank you for always coming."
**[15:03] Basue**
You shouldn't seek anything in return.
**[15:06] Akemi**
Mama...
**[15:07] Basue**
So with that, Morita-chan.
**[15:10] Basue**
This is a thank you from yours truly.
**[15:13] Morita**
Mama...
**[15:14] Basue**
You don't have to hold back.
**[15:18] Morita**
But, I want a chocolate from Akemi-chan!
**[15:22] Basue**
You stepped all over my feelings.
**[15:27] Akemi**
Morita... That was pretty shallow.
**[15:30] Morita**
I'm very sorry, Mama.
**[15:32] Basue**
It's all right.
**[15:33] Akemi**
But that honestly made me feel really good,
seeing you beg for my chocolate!
**[15:40] Akemi**
A lot!
**[15:41] Basue**
And you're a lot worse, Akemi-chan.
**[15:44] Basue**
But Morita-chan,
**[15:46] Basue**
why are you so obsessed with this chocolate,
knowing it's just chocolate from a store?
**[15:52] Morita**
You're right... If it stays that way,
it's just an obligatory chocolate.
**[15:58] Morita**
But!
**[15:59] Morita**
If I take it home
and melt it into another shape,
**[16:02] Morita**
it'll be like a homemade one, so no worries!
**[16:06] Basue**
That's creepy!
**[16:07] Morita**
Of course, I'm going to post it
on the internet before I eat it
***SIGN*** Morimori
***SIGN*** I got chocolate from Akemi-chan!
**[16:10] Morita**
so I can show it off to all my rivals!
**[16:12] Basue**
Just speechless!
**[16:14] Basue**
I was reminded once again...
**[16:17] Basue**
He's not like those introverts
who aren't popular,
**[16:21] Basue**
he has the bad traits of
an assertive person who isn't popular.
**[16:26] Akemi**
How far are the Japanese laws
willing to protect me?
**[16:30] Morita**
Aren't you guys
complimenting me a little too much?
**[16:33] Akemi**
Actually, aren't you really in love with me?
**[16:36] Morita**
That's right.
**[16:38] Akemi**
Then shouldn't you be giving me something
for White Day to make yourself look better?
**[16:44] Basue**
Akemi-chan! Don't say anything that
may provoke a future criminal!
**[16:51] Morita**
Um... No... It's not that I forgot about it...
**[16:57] Akemi**
Then why?
**[16:59] Morita**
I was just... I was just... scared.
**[17:04] Akemi**
Scared?
**[17:06] Morita**
Yeah...
**[17:07] Morita**
I didn't want you to laugh at me
for giving you something weird.
**[17:14] Akemi**
Morita...
**[17:16] Basue**
There is a sense of authenticity, when you
can see a glimpse of common sense
**[17:19] Basue**
amidst the eccentric acts.
**[17:23] Akemi**
You idiot. I'm not going to laugh
at anything you give me.
**[17:29] Morita**
Akemi-chan.
**[17:32] Akemi**
That's because... this is...
**[17:36] Akemi**
All part of the job!
**[17:38] Basue**
Oh, she said it!
**[17:41] Akemi**
No, seriously, this is just a hostess
and customer relationship, so...
**[17:47] Basue**
It's important to remember our boundaries.
**[17:50] Morita**
You're right...
**[17:51] Akemi**
Yep.
**[17:54] Morita**
So skipping all the small details,
what do I need to do to get you to jerk me off?
**[17:59] Basue**
This guy... I don't know how far he'd go.
**[18:02] Akemi**
Um... You see, this isn't good
because you're skipping
**[18:07] Akemi**
all the small details such as giving me
something for White Day.
**[18:10] Akemi**
And I am *not* going to
jerk you off in any case, okay?!
**[18:12] Morita**
Yeah?
**[18:13] Akemi**
Yep.
**[18:15] Akemi**
Besides, I'm not expecting
an expensive brand item or anything.
**[18:19] Akemi**
It could be a small snack that you
thought looked good or something.
**[18:25] Morita**
Food... I guess I'll have to go with...
**[18:29] Akemi**
Actually, scratch that.
**[18:30] Morita**
Why?! You're the one who suggested it!
**[18:33] Akemi**
Your face just screamed
"I'm going to put something in the food..."
**[18:38] Akemi**
So nothing edible, okay?
**[18:41] Morita**
Then what else is there?
**[18:43] Akemi**
How about... bath bombs?
**[18:47] Akemi**
There are really cute shaped ones, like
rose-shaped ones, which I think are affordable.
**[18:50] Morita**
Bath bombs...
**[18:52] Akemi**
Yep, scratch that one too.
**[18:53] Morita**
Why?! What can I do with a bath bomb?!
**[18:57] Akemi**
I just assumed the worst.
**[19:01] Akemi**
Your feelings are all I need!
**[19:04] Akemi**
I'll even give you a chocolate this year too,
so let's just leave it at that, okay?
**[19:09] Morita**
* The way she's handing it to me*
* is like she's giving me the real deal.*
**[19:12] Morita**
But you know...
**[19:14] Morita**
I really want to properly give you
something so I can get jerked off...
**[19:18] Akemi**
I already said that's not going to happen!
**[19:21] Morita**
Then accept the gift I was
going to give you last year...
**[19:26] Akemi**
Huh? Uh... What is it?
**[19:30] Morita**
It's...
**[19:32] Morita**
a love song I composed.
**[20:05] Basue**
Happy White Day!
**[20:09] Basue**
Happy Valentine's Day!
**[20:17] Morita**
This chocolate is really good!
**[20:19] Akemi**
That's because it's my favorite one.
**[20:22] Morita**
Oh man, I really wanted to
take my time eating it at home.
**[20:25] Akemi**
Who knows what you'll do to it
if you bring it home...
**[20:31] Morita**
What am I to this chocolate,
a criminal or something?
**[20:34] Basue**
Even so, Morita-chan, you really have
many hobbies, writing songs and all.
**[20:42] Morita**
Yeah, but it's not making me popular.
**[20:45] Basue**
Um, what does that have to do with it?
**[20:49] Morita**
I thought I'd be more popular
if I was into music, so I studied it.
**[20:54] Morita**
But it turns out it's only popular
with extroverted people.
**[20:58] Akemi**
I can see that being the case.
**[21:00] Morita**
Those people don't need music to be popular!
**[21:03] Akemi**
I can see that being the case.
**[21:05] Basue**
But, Morita-chan, you're amazing
for actually composing a song.
**[21:10] Morita**
Y-Yeah, you think?
**[21:12] Basue**
I'd like to listen to it a little.
**[21:16] Akemi**
Well, I am a little curious too,
for the scare factor.
**[21:20] Morita**
R-Really?
**[21:22] Akemi**
Really, really.
**[21:27] Akemi**
What's wrong?
**[21:29] Morita**
You're not gonna laugh at it?
**[21:31] Akemi**
I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna.
**[21:33] Morita**
But...
**[21:36] Akemi**
You're taking forever. Never mind.
**[21:39] Morita**
Well, well, well, well, since
you're asking me so much.
**[21:43] Akemi**
Which is it?
**[21:44] Basue**
It's very much like you
to banter like this, Morita-chan.
**[21:47] Morita**
Please listen to this as if we met during
our middle school years, Akemi-chan.
**[21:53] Akemi**
Could you please refrain from
talking about the worst situation imaginable?
**[21:57] Morita**
Okay, here we go...
**[22:01] Morita**
*Twinkle twinkle shooting star*
**[22:05] Morita**
* Please tell me the truth! Right now!
I really don't know anymore!*
**[22:14] Morita**
* One day, a girl suddenly came to my class.*
**[22:21] Morita**
* Just one look at her and my heart pounded.*
**[22:27] Morita**
* I've never felt this way before.
Something is wrong.*
**[22:34] Morita**
* You're probably an alien,
who came to take over the world!*
**[22:46] Morita**
* I wonder why?*
**[22:51] Morita**
* When I think of you,
I feel a tightness in my chest.*
**[23:00] Morita**
*If this keeps up, I'm bound to be brainwashed.*
**[23:08] Morita**
* It's a little wondrous.*
**[23:10] Morita**
* That's right, that girl's an alien.*
**[23:14] Morita**
* We're going to be taken over.*
**[23:18] Morita**
* Someone please help me!*
**[23:24] Morita**
H-How was it?
**[23:29] Akemi**
It was better than I expected.
**[23:33] Morita**
Honestly... It's embarrassing...
**[23:35] Akemi**
But...
**[23:39] Akemi**
Your lyrics give away
just how much of a virgin you are.
**[23:42] Morita**
What is that supposed to mean?!
**[23:45] Basue**
Morita-chan seems really happy.
**[23:50] Basue**
Such a virgin.
# E6 - Hello Stranger / What a Wonderful World / As / Mean Old World
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GG1U2NP4G/hello-stranger--what-a-wonderful-world--as--mean-old-world)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:02] Akemi**
Just like how girls tend to push
the like button when they see
**[00:05] Akemi**
a picture of a delicious-looking
pancake at a stylish cafe,
**[00:08] Akemi**
the old men at a snack bar
tend to clap for any singer
**[00:12] Akemi**
who sings a classic song, even if they don't know the song.
**[00:15] Akemi**
And what else...
**[00:17] Akemi**
You know how, back when you were in school,
**[00:20] Akemi**
you'd go over to a friend's house afterwards?
**[00:23] Akemi**
But once you become an adult,
that can't happen as easily.
**[00:27] Akemi**
You need some kind of excuse
in order to hang out with them...
**[00:30] Akemi**
And even so, it takes a while until
you finally meet them for that date.
**[00:35] Akemi**
Well, a snack bar gives you
that same feeling you had
**[00:39] Akemi**
back when you were in school, when you
could just invite someone over to chill.
**[00:42] Akemi**
Yes, a snack bar acts as a tree where
adults can perch and rest their wings.
**[00:47] Akemi**
It's that sort of bar... so...
**[00:52] Akemi**
I hate to break it to you, but I don't think
it's the type of tavern you're looking for.
**[01:05] [SONG] Sign**
Snack Basue
**[01:09] [SONG] Sign**
Snack Basue
***SIGN*** (Seeds of Salvation...)
**[02:37] Hero**
I'll start with a warrior.
**[02:38] Akemi**
Don't say it like you're asking
for a beer or something!
**[02:40] Akemi**
We're not that type of tavern!
**[02:43] Hero**
That... type of...?
**[02:45] Akemi**
I'm sayin' you can't form a party
for your adventures here!
**[02:49] Akemi**
At most, you can only find drinking buddies!
**[02:51] Hero**
Dragon...
**[02:53] Hero**
Quest...?
**[02:54] Akemi**
Don't ask about something I didn't say!
**[02:57] Hero**
Well, that's very strange...
**[02:59] Hero**
I'm unable to reunite with my stray
friends even though I'm at the bar...
**[03:02] Hero**
Did I miscast a teleportation spell?
**[03:07] Akemi**
I see...
**[03:09] Akemi**
The scenario is that you were
summoned to the present...
**[03:14] Akemi**
Now I know the situation, but...!
**[03:17] Akemi**
Mama, isn't there another store you
could introduce this young man to
**[03:19] Akemi**
that caters to this sort of thing?
**[03:23] Akemi**
Oh, it's no use, she's glitching.
**[03:26] Akemi**
As you can see,
we can't introduce you to anyone
**[03:29] Akemi**
willing to go along with your gameplay.
**[03:32] Akemi**
The only thing left is to go ask at
the Susukino's free information center.
**[03:37] Hero**
No...
**[03:38] Hero**
It seems I have already found a friend.
**[03:41] Akemi**
Huh?
**[03:42] Hero**
Hey, bar lady!
**[03:44] Hero**
Would you like to come on a journey
with me to defeat the Demon King?
**[03:47] Akemi**
Oh, no no no, defeating a Demon King...
**[03:49] Akemi**
That's impossible.
Besides, I'm working right now.
**[03:52] Hero**
Maybe a little after you've closed shop?
**[03:56] Akemi**
Now you're just asking me
out after work, buddy!
**[03:58] Hero**
Even if it's just for a little puff-puff?
**[04:00] Akemi**
You're going to ask me that now?
**[04:03] Akemi**
In a way, you really are a brave hero.
**[04:05] Akemi**
*Oh, but what is this feeling...*
**[04:08] Akemi**
*Little by little, my heart is being charmed...*
**[04:12] Akemi**
*His eyes!*
**[04:15] Akemi**
*A man's ambitious eyes...*
***SIGN*** The men I fell in love with in the past
**[04:17] Akemi**
* The same eyes of the men*
* I fell in love with in the past!*
**[04:21] Basue**
The Chosen!
***SIGN*** The Chosen
**[04:27] Akemi**
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
**[04:30] Akemi**
That was a close one!
**[04:32] Akemi**
I was about to be fooled by a loser again...
**[04:36] Akemi**
You sound like an NPC villager who only
knows how to repeat the same phrase.
**[04:39] Hero**
I am not a villager!
**[04:41] Hero**
I am the hero!
**[04:43] Akemi**
Shut up already!
**[04:44] Akemi**
Nobody wants to hear about
heroes summoned to the present!
**[04:47] Akemi**
The current trend is the opposite!
**[04:48] Akemi**
It's people from the present
going to another world
**[04:50] Akemi**
and becoming unrivaled using
their modern knowledge!
**[04:51] Akemi**
No, that's getting old too!
**[04:53] Akemi**
Now it's ones where the hero gets banished?
**[04:55] Akemi**
Or maybe the hero's a villainess?
**[04:56] Akemi**
I don't know.
**[04:57] Akemi**
Just go ask Kadokawa about that shit, okay?!
**[04:59] Akemi**
Either way, you're being troublesome!
**[05:01] Akemi**
With people like you around,
nobody's going to come to our bar,
**[05:04] Akemi**
and nobody will watch our anime!
**[05:05] Akemi**
What do you mean,
"nobody watches it right now?"
**[05:08] Akemi**
Now, come on. If you understand,
please start heading to Susukino.
**[05:11] Akemi**
As Godiego sings in their lyrics,
head on to Gandhara your utopia.
**[05:15] Hero**
Susu... kino...?
**[05:17] Akemi**
Go 5 stations on the Namboku
subway line towards Sapporo.
**[05:21] Hero**
Subway...?
**[05:22] Hero**
What are you even talking about?
**[05:24] Akemi**
Trust me, trust me!
**[05:34] Akemi**
Oh... The hero didn't come to us...
**[05:37] Akemi**
Snack Basue is what got
relocated to another world...
***SIGN*** (Welcome to the Lifestyle
of the Wonderful Other World)
**[05:46] Akemi**
...is what happened.
**[05:48] Yamada**
How were you able to come back?
**[05:50] Tatsu-ni**
So that's why?
**[05:53] Akemi**
Yeah. Ever since then,
Mama has been glitching.
**[05:58] Tatsu-ni**
Did you try blowing into her?
**[06:06] Akemi**
All set.
**[06:07] Yamada**
Wait, what just happened?
**[06:14] Akemi**
Oh, good, I wasn't sure what I would do
if it was *him* again...
**[06:18] Tatsu-ni**
Is he someone from around here?
**[06:19] Akemi**
No, I've never seen him before.
He must be a first-time customer.
**[06:24] Yamada**
It's a little embarrassing
to see someone wearing a jersey
**[06:26] Yamada**
when they aren't from this
neighborhood, don't you think?
**[06:30] Natsuki**
Did I... really...
**[06:34] Natsuki**
just get summoned to another world?
**[06:37] Akemi**
Go home!
**[06:38] Natsuki**
Wha?
**[06:40] Akemi**
What would make you think of this snack
bar as something from an alternate world?
**[06:43] Tatsu-ni**
Wait, Akemi-chan.
**[06:46] Tatsu-ni**
For those of us who are constantly
working against the pressures of reality,
**[06:52] Tatsu-ni**
a snack bar is, in a sense,
another world. Don't you think?
**[06:55] Yamada**
Your face screams,
"This is the coolest thing I've ever said!"
**[06:59] Akemi**
Come to think of it,
**[07:01] Akemi**
the dim lighting gives the illusion
of a medieval fantasy world,
**[07:05] Akemi**
you're encountering people
you normally wouldn't meet,
**[07:08] Akemi**
and you also get potions which drain your stamina
and give you a debuff the next morning.
**[07:14] Yamada**
Wait a minute. Is today the day everyone tries
to say something smooth or something?
**[07:20] Akemi**
Welcome to Snack Basue.
**[07:22] Akemi**
I'm the junior hostess, Akemi.
**[07:24] Akemi**
What is your name, sir?
**[07:27] Natsuki**
My name is Natsuki S—
**[07:29] Akemi**
Natsuki-san, it is!
**[07:30] Natsuki**
Uh... yes.
**[07:32] Akemi**
I haven't seen anyone like you before,
Natsuki-san. Are you from around here?
**[07:36] Natsuki**
Yeah.
**[07:37] Yamada**
I shouldn't be the one to talk, but what
were you thinking coming into this bar?
**[07:41] Akemi**
How rude!
**[07:43] Natsuki**
Oh, no. I was roaming around the neighborhood,
***SIGN*** Snack Basue
**[07:45] Natsuki**
trying to find my way to another world...
**[07:47] Natsuki**
Your door looked the most otherworldly
of any of them.
**[07:50] Yamada**
Otherworldly...?
**[07:52] Tatsu-ni**
I understand...
**[07:53] Yamada**
What?
**[07:54] Tatsu-ni**
For those of us who are constantly
working against the pressures of reality,
**[07:59] Tatsu-ni**
a snack bar...
**[08:00] Yamada**
You already said that!
With that same exact look on your face!
**[08:04] Akemi**
Even so, in order to go to an alternate world,
**[08:07] Akemi**
there's certain criteria you have to meet.
**[08:09] Yamada**
Is that so...
**[08:10] Akemi**
First off,
**[08:12] Akemi**
you have to be kind of a loser.
**[08:15] Akemi**
Yep, you meet that one.
**[08:17] Yamada**
That's pretty harsh to say
to a first-time customer.
**[08:20] Akemi**
And what do you do for a living?
**[08:22] Natsuki**
Unemployed.
**[08:24] Akemi**
The second criteria was to either
work for an abusive corporation
**[08:27] Akemi**
or be an unemployed hikikomori...
so you meet that one too.
**[08:31] Yamada**
Oh, it's getting worse.
**[08:33] Akemi**
Yamada and Tatsu-ni, you both
meet the criteria too,
**[08:36] Akemi**
so you guys could make it to the other world.
**[08:38] Tatsu-ni**
My job's not that bad.
**[08:40] Akemi**
You can be a special case,
since you're tired of reality.
**[08:44] Tatsu-ni**
That's not a special case
I'm particularly happy about.
**[08:47] Akemi**
And, now you've made it to the other world,
what are your worries, Natsuki-san?
**[08:52] Natsuki**
Well, it's...
**[08:53] Natsuki**
How do you actually get to another world?
**[08:56] Akemi**
I thought you came here because
you thought this was another world?
**[08:59] Natsuki**
Nah, not to a snack bar,
but to a real alternate world.
**[09:03] Akemi**
This conversation is going nowhere...
**[09:05] Yamada**
You guys are at a point
where neither of you make sense.
**[09:11] Akemi**
A real alternate world, huh...
**[09:14] Akemi**
Wasn't getting hit by a truck
one of the ways to go?
**[09:18] Tatsu-ni**
If it didn't work, it'd be a disaster.
**[09:20] Yamada**
It would be a disaster regardless.
**[09:23] Natsuki**
Nah, nothing that's going
to be painful, please.
**[09:26] Natsuki**
Besides, dying would be a burden
on my family too, so that's out...
**[09:29] Yamada**
The nerve...
**[09:30] Natsuki**
I don't have any friends who
would even attend my funeral,
**[09:33] Natsuki**
and wouldn't you feel bad for your family,
who's left to deal with the mess?
**[09:36] Yamada**
Why would anyone who's thought it through
this much want to go to another world...?
**[09:39] Akemi**
Yeah, what do you even want
to do once you get there?
**[09:43] Natsuki**
When I get to the other world,
I can reset everything and start over!
**[09:47] Natsuki**
Anything dumb I did in this world
would never have happened!
**[09:50] Tatsu-ni**
You're right. It'd be nice if all
the results of the bad drinking and eating habits
**[09:54] Tatsu-ni**
I had when I was young would disappear.
**[09:57] Yamada**
Why don't you just exercise,
go on a diet, and get back on track?!
**[10:01] Natsuki and Tatsu-ni**
You really think people who could do that
would want to go to another world?!
**[10:04] Yamada**
No doubt, you guys are the type that
even the other world wouldn't want.
**[10:07] Akemi**
You can start over, huh?
**[10:10] Akemi**
Do you really think so?
**[10:12] Akemi**
You'll be thrown into a world
where language and common sense
**[10:14] Akemi**
are completely different
from what you're used to.
**[10:16] Akemi**
What a hassle, sheesh.
**[10:19] Akemi**
You can't use your 10,000 yen!
**[10:20] Item storekeeper**
If you can't pay in croaks, get outta here!
**[10:23] Akemi**
It's so dirty!
**[10:24] Innkeeper**
Shower? What's that?
**[10:27] Rowdy man**
This is the beginning town.
**[10:29] Akemi**
I want you to tell me something else.
**[10:32] Rowdy man**
This is the beginning town.
**[10:34] Yamada**
You look like you've actually
experienced it or something.
**[10:37] Akemi**
There's nothing great
about alternate worlds.
**[10:40] Akemi**
First off, do you really think you could
start everything over if you went?
**[10:45] Akemi**
You're going to end up making the same
mistakes you did here in the other world,
**[10:48] Akemi**
and in the end you'll just keep
adding to your shame in the multiverse.
**[10:53] Natsuki**
But everyone who goes to
another world does great!
**[10:57] Akemi**
That's only a small percentage!
**[10:59] Natsuki**
A small percentage?
**[11:01] Akemi**
That's right.
**[11:02] Akemi**
What everyone is reading about,
going to the other world and using cheats,
**[11:05] Akemi**
and having harems and whatnot...
**[11:08] Akemi**
Those are only a small percentage
of cases where things happen
**[11:09] Akemi**
to work out in their favor.
**[11:10] Akemi**
Those are the only ones that get novelized.
**[11:12] Akemi**
In reality, most of the people
are miserable there!
**[11:16] Natsuki**
Even so, if you're granted a cheat
ability you could totally do it, right?
**[11:20] Natsuki**
If I had special powers, I'd...
**[11:22] Akemi**
You're taking it too lightly.
**[11:23] Akemi**
Even if you did have a cheat ability,
**[11:26] Akemi**
your hikikomori self would prevent you
from making full use of it.
**[11:31] Akemi**
I can see it now. You'll end up
softly mumbling to yourself
**[11:34] Akemi**
while an extrovert with mediocre abilities
will take the spotlight and get the girl.
**[11:39] Natsuki**
No way...
**[11:41] Akemi**
So stop trying, and work hard
in the real world.
**[11:45] Yamada**
That's right. Perhaps find
your passion in something...
**[11:48] Akemi**
Yep, yep. You said it.
**[11:52] Tatsu-ni**
* I was thinking, I don't have*
* a passion for anything either...*
**[11:55] Tatsu-ni**
*But I'll keep that to myself.*
**[11:58] Basue**
Then why don't you try
working hard for someone?
**[12:03] Yamada**
She's still a little glitchy.
**[12:05] Natsuki**
For someone?
**[12:07] Basue**
That's right. You make it so that
it's for someone other than yourself.
**[12:11] Yamada**
That's true. You'd be more motivated to
work hard for your family or a loved one.
**[12:17] Natsuki**
But I don't have anyone like that...
**[12:20] Tatsu-ni**
Then, since you're here,
how about you work hard for Akemi-chan?
**[12:26] Akemi**
Me?
**[12:27] Tatsu-ni**
I figured, since you've been
a hikikomori this whole time,
**[12:29] Tatsu-ni**
there must be some kind of special bond
between you and a woman you meet.
**[12:33] Basue**
I'm a woman too, you know.
**[12:36] Tatsu-ni**
That one's a little...
**[12:37] Basue**
You damaged my self-esteem!
**[12:41] Akemi**
Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to have
someone work hard for me.
**[12:47] Akemi**
Actually, it feels really good.
**[12:49] Akemi**
All right then, Natsuki-san, work hard for me
and become a patron of this store!
**[12:54] Natsuki**
For the junior hostess...
**[12:57] Akemi**
You could call me Akemitan.
**[12:59] Natsuki**
Akemitan.
**[13:05] Natsuki**
Uh, no can do. I just thought it
through and it's definitely impossible!
**[13:08] Akemi**
Like I said, go home!
**[13:10] Natsuki {background}**
Well, you're not a goddess
or a queen, nor a half-elf!
**[13:11] Tatsu-ni**
Is Shueisha cool with this segment?
**[13:14] Yamada**
I can guarantee you Kadokawa's not.
**[13:15] Akemi {background}**
I'm sorry, I have no idea
what you're talking about!
**[13:16] Tatsu-ni**
We could just apologize.
**[13:17] Natsuki {background}**
Well, that sounded a bit spicy...
**[13:17] Yamada**
Yes.
***SIGN*** (Let's meet at that place.)
**[13:26] Akemi**
Daily life sure is the best...
**[13:29] Tatsu-ni**
You said it.
**[13:31] Kosame**
What happened?
**[13:37] Akemi**
By the way...
**[13:39] Akemi**
Don't you feel like going fishing?
**[13:41] Tatsu-ni**
Yeah, that sounds nice... fishing...
**[13:43] Akemi**
Oh, the fishing I'm talking about is, you know,
**[13:46] Akemi**
the kind where you use a rod and
a string as a tool to catch fish.
**[13:50] Tatsu-ni**
That's exactly the kind I was thinking of.
**[13:53] Akemi**
How about you, Kosame-chan?
**[13:55] Akemi**
Are you interested?
**[13:56] Kosame**
Yeah. It's nice to go once in a while.
**[14:00] Akemi**
Right? I want to go fishing...
**[14:04] Tatsu-ni**
It's nice, isn't it? Fishing...
**[14:07] Akemi**
All right! Then...
**[14:13] Akemi**
I want to go... fishing...
**[14:16] Tatsu-ni**
Yeah, I wanna go... fishing...
**[14:20] Kosame**
* These two are just wishing for it*
* and not bothering to make any plans!*
**[14:24] Akemi**
Tatsu-ni, please take me!
**[14:26] Akemi**
If you have any leftover fishing accessories,
please lend them to me!
**[14:28] Akemi**
And not that dirty rod!
**[14:30] Tatsu-ni**
Are you pretending I just said,
"I've only got one rod for you to hold?"
**[14:33] Akemi**
What kind of tiny-ass fish
are you trying to catch with that rod?
**[14:37] Akemi**
It's more like a worm than a rod!
**[14:39] Tatsu-ni**
Stop for a sec, Akemi-chan.
**[14:41] Tatsu-ni**
Let's sort this out in order.
**[14:43] Tatsu-ni**
First of all, my peepee is not a worm.
Besides, I wasn't even talking about that!
**[14:48] Akemi**
What do you mean "I wasn't"... what?!
**[14:51] Kosame**
Nobody was talking about that!
**[14:52] Kosame**
Except for you, Akemi-san!
***SIGN*** Snack Basue
**[14:56] Kosame**
Snack Basue.
***SIGN*** (It's of the past...)
**[15:07] Akemi**
What, is it about WNPL again?
**[15:09] Morita**
What's that? Some kind of pro-wrestling group?
**[15:11] Akemi**
WNPL is... "Why am I Not
Popular with the Ladies?"
**[15:15] Morita**
You didn't have to give it an acronym.
Besides, I'm done with that.
**[15:19] Akemi**
Oh? How so?
**[15:21] Morita**
I... finally found out.
**[15:26] Morita**
Why I'm not popular with the ladies...
**[15:29] Akemi**
The end.
**[15:29] Morita**
I'm just getting started!
**[15:35] Kazama**
Hey y'all!
**[15:38] Akemi**
The door you just came in is the exit.
**[15:40] Kazama**
You're already showing me the exit?!
**[15:44] Kazama**
Anyways, give me a shochu mixed
with hot water, will ya?
**[15:49] Kazama**
Hey, it's Morita-kun!
**[15:52] Kazama**
Oh, man. Talk about nostalgia!
**[15:54] Kazama**
This is exciting!
**[15:56] Kazama**
Wha? When was the last time I saw you?
**[15:58] Kazama**
Wasn't it when we graduated middle school?!
**[15:59] Kazama**
Seriously, blast from the past!
**[16:02] Morita**
Hey...
**[16:03] Akemi**
You're really putting the distance...
**[16:05] Kazama**
Huh? What? What's with this cold reception?!
**[16:08] Kazama**
Did you forget about me or something?
**[16:11] Morita**
I remember you...
**[16:13] Morita**
You're Kazama-kun, right?
**[16:15] Akemi**
Morita...
**[16:17] Akemi**
Do you have some kind of trauma
about being bullied or something?
**[16:21] Morita**
No, it's nothing like that. It's just...
**[16:25] Morita**
It's been more than 10 years
since I saw him in middle school!
**[16:28] Morita**
We're practically strangers!
**[16:30] Akemi**
I understand!
**[16:31] Kazama**
What? I don't get it?!
**[16:34] Morita**
Hey, we're no longer students.
We're adults now, so...
**[16:39] Morita**
There are certain formalities that
need to be respected, you know?
**[16:41] Kazama**
Why are you talking all proper to me?!
**[16:43] Kazama**
Aw, come on, man.
**[16:46] Kazama**
We used to walk home from
school together, remember?!
**[16:50] Kazama**
Did you know that Morita-kun's
house is really close to mine?!
**[16:54] Akemi**
Oh, is it now?
**[16:56] Akemi**
Shouldn't you guys be more friendly, then?
**[16:59] Morita**
Akemi-chan...
**[17:01] Morita**
Despite being neighbors, please understand
that we didn't get along very well!
**[17:07] Morita**
It's true, we used to go home together, but...
**[17:10] Morita**
we've never gone over
to each other's houses!
**[17:14] Akemi**
Oh, I think I'm getting the picture...
**[17:18] Kazama**
Nah, it's just a coincidence.
**[17:20] Kazama**
Because, me, you, and Pokechin,
**[17:23] Kazama**
would hang out together after school, remember?
**[17:25] Akemi**
Pokechin?
**[17:26] Morita**
Pokechin is our friend's nickname,
because he used to always
**[17:29] Morita**
have his hands in his pockets and everyone
thought he was playing with himself.
**[17:32] Morita**
It's no use bringing up a mutual friend
to try and get friendly with me!
**[17:36] Morita**
The fact that we're still calling
each other "-kun"
**[17:39] Morita**
instead of our last names
or nicknames is the solid proof of
**[17:42] Morita**
just how distant we are!
**[17:44] Kazama**
Don't say that!
**[17:47] Kazama**
By the way, are you still
in touch with Pokechin?
**[17:49] Kazama**
Why don't the three of us
go drinking next time?
**[17:51] Akemi**
*Man, he's persistent!*
**[17:53] Morita**
I've been in touch with Pokechin ever since!
**[17:56] Morita**
But we haven't heard from you
since we graduated...
**[18:00] Morita**
I have no intention of hanging out together!
**[18:03] Morita**
As a matter of fact,
**[18:04] Morita**
I didn't like how you would always butt in
whenever I tried to hang out with Pokechin!
**[18:11] Pokechin**
Kazama-kun said he wants to play too.
**[18:14] Morita**
...Sure.
**[18:16] Morita**
*I can't say I don't want to...*
**[18:18] Akemi**
Geez, he's sure acting effeminate.
**[18:23] Akemi**
Oh, did it finally get through to him?
**[18:27] Kazama**
Anyways, I got married!
**[18:30] Akemi**
* Anyways?! His skin is as thick as*
* a presidential state car! Impenetrable.*
***SIGN*** Presidential State Car
***SIGN*** Beast
**[18:34] Basue**
Beast!
**[18:36] Kazama**
And the person I married is...
**[18:39] Kazama**
none other than Miyakawa,
a classmate that even Morita-kun knows!
**[18:42] Kazama**
A few years back, we ran into
each other and we started dating!
**[18:46] Kazama**
The world really is a small place!
**[18:48] Morita**
Stop it, will you?!
**[18:50] Morita**
The last thing a single man wants to hear
is a former classmate getting married!
**[18:55] Morita**
On top of that, I used to like
Miyakawa back in middle school!
**[18:59] Morita**
You're giving me a double whammy
by telling me these marriage stories
**[19:03] Morita**
of a former classmate and the girl I liked!
**[19:05] Morita**
Actually, you knew I liked her!
**[19:07] Akemi**
Well, that's awfully rude of you.
**[19:11] Kazama**
Well, yeah, I knew, but...
**[19:14] Kazama**
Huh? You're seriously that shocked?
**[19:17] Kazama**
Wouldn't an old classmate you liked
be even more of a stranger?
**[19:21] Morita**
I know! I know, but!
**[19:24] Morita**
There's a difference, you know...
**[19:27] Morita**
It's like if you were a fan of a celebrity and
they passed away. Wouldn't you be shocked?
**[19:30] Kazama**
Uh, no? 'Cus they're strangers, aren't they?
**[19:33] Morita**
You wouldn't care much about hearing
a beautiful voice actress is in love,
**[19:36] Morita**
but you'd be shocked if she
got married, wouldn't you?
**[19:38] Morita**
When marriage comes up, you'd be shocked
no matter who she was with, wouldn't you?!
**[19:42] Kazama**
No, I don't get it!
She's still a stranger, isn't she?
**[19:45] Morita**
Please, at least leave Rie Takahashi for me...
**[19:49] Akemi**
I have a feeling Rie Takahashi's
J-Alert is going off like crazy right now...
**[19:54] Morita**
Can't I be the last male left for humanity?
**[19:58] Akemi**
Just like being the only boy in a brass band,
it'll be awkward and hard to tolerate.
**[20:03] Kazama**
Morita-kun, remember how awkward you felt?
You quit the brass band after a week.
**[20:08] Akemi**
Oh, after humanity was destroyed!
**[20:10] Kazama**
Morita-kun, you were getting
cautious stares from the girls
**[20:13] Kazama**
who played the woodwind instruments.
**[20:15] Morita**
Quit it!
**[20:17] Morita**
Please let me be the one to tell those
embarrassing stories from the past
**[20:20] Morita**
when I feel it's the right time to tell them!
**[20:22] Akemi**
Why does it even matter?
**[20:23] Kazama**
Man, it sure is fun drinking with old friends!
**[20:28] Morita**
It's not fun at all for me!
**[20:30] Morita**
Just like I said,
**[20:32] Morita**
anyone who I haven't met
in over 10 years is a stranger to me!
**[20:36] Morita**
Clueless people like you
are no different than a harasser!
**[20:41] Morita**
You're even worse, since you know
all my embarrassing moments.
**[20:46] Kazama**
All right. I kinda get it now.
**[20:50] Morita**
You finally get it?
**[20:54] Kazama**
That's why you never came to the reunion, huh.
**[20:57] Morita**
What?
**[20:59] Kazama**
Well, since we haven't met in over 10 years,
I guess we are strangers.
**[21:03] Kazama**
To you, Morita-kun, a reunion is nothing
more than a gathering of strangers, isn't it?
**[21:15] Morita**
There was... a reunion?
**[21:27] Akemi**
Kazama, if you're not going to sing,
don't put in a song.
**[21:30] Kazama**
But Morita-kun got all quiet and stuff.
**[21:34] Kazama**
Junior hostess, please sing a song.
**[21:34] [SONG] Caption**
Reserve
***SIGN*** Ah, Heartlessness
**[21:36] Akemi**
Yeah, I guess you're right. Okay.
**[21:42] Kazama**
Don't worry, I'll join in too.
**[21:44] Akemi**
Did this song have duet parts?
**[21:54] Akemi**
Aren't I pretty as I flutter?
Aren't I a good woman?
**[22:01] Akemi**
Despite your looks,
you're the type who loves unconditionally.
**[22:07] Akemi**
Men are unfair because they
use tenderness to get their way.
**[22:14] Akemi**
They run away when the dawn draws near.
**[22:21] Akemi**
My tears are too salty and...
**[22:27] Akemi**
Jealousy is nasty. Just let me do as I please.
**[22:40] Akemi**
When you take off your
sunglasses ,I burst into laughter.
**[22:47] Akemi**
I'm weak to those innocent eyes.
**[22:53] Morita and Kazama {background}**
Les Miserables! Yay!
**[22:54] Akemi**
His betrayal never
ceases even if he's handcuffed.
**[23:00] Akemi**
He finishes me off with his sweet words as
**[23:03] Akemi**
the fog falls onto the city.
**[23:10] Akemi**
What were you guys saying during the bridge?
**[23:13] Kazama**
I don't know?
**[23:15] Akemi**
How were you going to join in when
you're not even sure what to say?
**[23:18] Kazama**
It can be anything.
**[23:20] Morita**
It's Les Miserables...
**[23:23] Morita**
"Ah Heartlessness" comes from the Japanese
version of the musical Les Miserables.
**[23:27] Morita**
This song comes from there.
**[23:30] Akemi**
Oh, I see.
**[23:31] Morita**
On top of that, the meaning
of Les Miserables is miserable,
**[23:34] Morita**
but it also has an additional meaning which
is being the bottom or base of something.
**[23:38] Akemi**
Don't talk so badly about yourself.
**[23:40] Morita**
I'm just trying to explain
what the song means, you know.
**[23:43] Kazama**
Oh man, it sure is fun
being with you, Morita-kun!
**[23:47] Morita**
Not for me, it isn't!
# E7 - Closer / What a Fool Believes / God Blessed Our Love
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/G0DUNKEDJ/closer--what-a-fool-believes--god-blessed-our-love)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:02] Morita**
Gluttony.
**[00:04] Morita**
Wrath.
**[00:06] Morita**
Pride.
**[00:07] Morita**
Envy.
**[00:09] Morita**
Sloth.
**[00:10] Morita**
Greed.
**[00:13] Morita**
I only have lust left to do, but...
**[00:16] Yamada**
Why are you trying to commit the seven
deadly sins as if you were doing a stamp rally?
**[00:22] Morita**
Oh man... I only have
one more left to go, you know...
**[00:26] Akemi**
Geez, I don't know
what you're expecting from me.
**[00:30] Akemi**
Morita...
**[00:31] Akemi**
You have it all wrong.
**[00:33] Akemi**
The trends nowadays are genetic modification,
***SIGN*** Genetic
Modification
***SIGN*** Human
Experimentation
**[00:36] Akemi**
human experimentation,
environmental pollution,
***SIGN*** Environmental
Pollution
***SIGN*** Social Injustice
**[00:37] Akemi**
social injustice, poverty coercion, excessive affluence, and drug addiction.
***SIGN*** Poverty
Coercion
***SIGN*** Excessive Affluence
***SIGN*** Drug
Addiction
**[00:42] Akemi**
These are the new seven deadly sins
established by the Roman Curia.
**[00:46] Yamada**
That is some random fact you know!
**[00:48] Morita**
Then I have to do them all over again!
**[00:51] Yamada**
Like I was saying, why are you trying to
commit all of the seven deadly sins?!
**[00:55] Morita**
Because bad people are more
popular than good people, don't you think?
**[00:59] Yamada**
Unbelievable...
**[01:00] Yamada**
I don't particularly think so.
**[01:03] Morita**
No, no, I know!
**[01:07] Morita**
Popular guys...
**[01:08] Morita**
are all...
**[01:10] Morita**
villains!
**[01:12] Yamada**
Your personal grudge is too strong!
**[01:21] [SONG] Sign**
Snack Basue
**[01:26] [SONG] Sign**
Snack Basue
***SIGN*** (Don't leave me behind)
**[02:47] Akemi**
Hmm, popular guys are all villains, huh...
**[02:52] Morita**
If it means I can make
a grandchild for my parents,
**[02:55] Morita**
then I'm willing to go to the dark side!
**[02:57] Akemi**
Don't make your parents cry even more!
**[03:00] Morita**
But, Yama-chan,
you're not popular either, right?
**[03:02] Morita**
You seem to be a good person, aren't you?
**[03:04] Yamada**
Well, no. I'm not popular.
**[03:07] Morita**
Do you have a girlfriend?
**[03:09] Yamada**
I don't have a girlfriend... Not at the moment.
**[03:13] Morita**
Then we're pals!
**[03:14] Yamada**
Pals... Yeah, I suppo—
**[03:18] Morita**
Virgin pals!
**[03:20] Yamada**
What?!
**[03:21] Yamada**
U-Um... I'm not a virgin, you know...
**[03:26] Morita**
No, no, I know.
**[03:28] Morita**
When a guy answers "not at
the moment" about having a girlfriend,
**[03:32] Morita**
it means they're an
unpopular virgin, am I right?
**[03:36] Morita**
Yama-chan, you just thought, "I'm more
popular than you, Morita," didn't you?
**[03:40] Yamada**
No... not particularly...
**[03:42] Morita**
It's all right. Everything is fine.
**[03:45] Morita**
When two virgins are competing, one is bound
to think, "I could be more popular than him!"
**[03:48] Morita**
and get a boost of baseless confidence.
**[03:51] Morita**
You know you can't win
against someone with 1 point,
**[03:53] Morita**
so you find someone with 0 points
and you battle it out!
**[03:56] Morita**
That's what being a virgin is all about!
**[03:59] Yamada**
W-What?
**[04:02] Morita**
You're into girls who cosplay
school uniforms, right?
**[04:05] Morita**
That's a natural reaction for someone
**[04:06] Morita**
who didn't experience relationships
during their school years.
**[04:09] Yamada**
You think you've analyzed me,
but you're only revealing your own fetishes.
**[04:13] Yamada**
You know, I didn't say
I don't have any experience...
**[04:17] Yamada**
Well, it doesn't really matter either way.
**[04:20] Morita**
You see, Yama-chan.
Saying it with your mouth is easy.
**[04:25] Morita**
Getting someone to use their mouth
on you is harder, you know.
**[04:29] Yamada**
*What is this person even saying?!*
**[04:32] Yamada**
Actually, it matters now! Just because
I don't want to be associated with you!
**[04:35] Yamada**
I am not a virgin!
**[04:37] Morita**
Lying is the first step to becoming a virgin!
**[04:39] Yamada**
Lying is the first step to becoming a virgin?
**[04:42] Morita**
That's right... When I think back on it,
it all started with one lie,
**[04:46] Morita**
when I said, "I'm going out with
that girl" during elementary school.
**[04:51] Morita**
That's my woman.
**[04:53] Pokechin**
Mott-chan, you're amazing.
**[04:56] Girl B**
Morita! Why did you lie like that?!
**[04:58] Girl A {overlaps}**
No... I don't want to... never...
**[05:00] Girl C**
Don't worry, it's okay now.
**[05:05] Morita**
That's when my virgin life started...
**[05:08] Yamada**
I'm worried about that girl's trauma!
**[05:11] Akemi**
You know, Morita.
**[05:13] Akemi**
You've been babbling on about
something for a while now,
**[05:16] Akemi**
but between you and Yamada,
you're definitely the unpopular one, okay?
**[05:23] Morita**
Oh, but the reason you
could easily say that to me
**[05:26] Morita**
is because we're really close,
don't you think, Akemi-chan?
**[05:30] Morita**
You could have easily said "Yama-chan is
more popular" and avoided the uneasiness,
**[05:33] Morita**
but instead you purposely said I wasn't the
popular one, which means you trusted me
**[05:36] Morita**
to be able to handle it, right?
**[05:38] Morita**
That means...
**[05:40] Morita**
I'm closer to being popular,
don't you think?
**[05:43] Akemi**
*Is this guy invincible?!*
**[05:46] Akemi**
Sheesh... Why do men always fight
over the stupidest things?
**[05:51] Akemi**
To top it off, today's is by far the worst...
**[05:55] Morita**
It doesn't matter what it's for!
**[05:57] Morita**
I just don't want to give up on
a fight I could potentially win!
**[06:00] Akemi**
You're the type of creep
who's often on the internet.
**[06:03] Morita**
I just want to experience success to gain my
confidence back so I can move on, okay?!
**[06:07] Morita**
I just want to move on!
**[06:10] Yamada**
What?
**[06:11] Akemi**
You say you want to move on,
but what's your end goal?
**[06:18] Morita**
You!
**[06:19] Akemi**
Don't come!
**[06:21] Akemi**
This is too much of a hassle, so I'm going
to make the booze extra strong, okay?
**[06:24] Yamada**
Why would you even say that...
**[06:27] Yamada**
...wait, mine too?
**[06:29] Akemi**
There.
**[06:31] Morita**
Well, Yama-chan, as fellow virgins,
let's make a toast!
**[06:36] Yamada**
I'm really not a virgin, you know...
**[06:40] Akemi**
Then why don't you tell him
about your first experience?
**[06:44] Akemi**
Maybe that'll finally convince Morita?
**[06:47] Morita**
That's it, Akemi-chan!
**[06:50] Morita**
Nothing is more unrealistic than a fabricated
story to pretend that he's not a virgin!
**[06:56] Morita**
The safer the story,
the more unbelievable it becomes.
**[07:00] Morita**
I've got the experience to prove
that it doesn't work! Guaranteed!
**[07:05] Yamada**
It was... in a car.
**[07:09] Yamada**
During high school, I was dating a senpai.
**[07:13] Yamada**
And when she became a college student,
she told me she got her license,
**[07:17] Yamada**
so we went on our first drive together
and that's when it happened...
**[07:22] Akemi**
The serious-looking ones seem
to always have the wildest pasts.
**[07:27] Akemi**
On top of that, since she was in school,
**[07:29] Akemi**
that means the car must have
been her parent's car, right?
**[07:36] Akemi**
What a sad look on his face...
**[07:38] Yamada**
He has the same face as my friend
when I first told him this story.
**[07:45] Yamada**
Well, I would be shocked too if I heard that
story from someone I thought was a virgin.
**[07:50] Akemi**
Is it really like that?
**[07:53] Morita**
If it were Sangetsuki,
he'd turn into a tiger...
**[07:57] Akemi**
What kind of example is that?
**[07:59] Akemi**
Morita, are you ready to admit that you lost?
**[08:03] Akemi**
I mean, really, so what if
you're a virgin, but anyway...
**[08:06] Morita**
I don't care!
**[08:08] Akemi**
Hey...
**[08:09] Morita**
I don't care about that anymore!
**[08:11] Akemi**
Morita...
**[08:13] Morita**
Yama-chan...
**[08:14] Yamada**
Yes?
**[08:16] Morita**
Please...
**[08:20] Morita**
Let me... Let me...
**[08:24] Morita**
Let me hear the rest of that story?!
**[08:27] Yamada**
* This is the sad story of a virgin*
* who's become more intrigued*
**[08:29] Yamada**
* by someone else's sex*
* experiences than his own.*
***SIGN*** Snack Basue
***SIGN*** (Don't make fun of me)
**[08:47] Akemi**
Свободное Время.
**[08:49] Kosame**
What did you just say?
**[08:51] Akemi**
Свободное Время.
**[08:54] Kosame**
Um... za... bo...
**[08:57] Akemi**
It's Russian. I said we have free time.
**[09:01] Akemi**
Oh hey, Kosame-chan, can you say
something stupid to kill some time?
**[09:06] Kosame**
What? I'll give it a try just
because we're killing time, but...
**[09:10] Akemi**
You're awesome for doing it, Kosame-chan.
**[09:15] Kosame**
...Walking smartphone.
**[09:19] Akemi**
Hmm, that was a little too cheeky...
**[09:21] Akemi**
Also, don't just say it,
**[09:23] Akemi**
try to really put some character into it
and make a big stupid statement.
**[09:26] Kosame**
Man, you're asking a lot... Then...
**[09:30] Kosame**
Huh? I don't know what kind of
prestigious college you came from, but...
**[09:35] Kosame**
that sort of thing
don't matter in the real world!
**[09:38] Kosame**
How was that?
**[09:39] Akemi**
That wasn't a stupid statement! It was
a statement that's calling people stupid!
**[09:44] Akemi**
Don't make a stupid statement
that's going to get you in trouble
**[09:46] Akemi**
with all the workers who didn't
come from a prestigious college!
**[09:48] Kosame**
I-I'm sorry.
**[09:50] Akemi**
Goodness...
**[09:52] Akemi**
Huh? Don't you learn that in school?!
**[09:55] Kosame**
That sounds like the continuation
of the bit I just did!
***SIGN*** Snack Basue
**[09:59] Yamada**
Snack Basue.
***SIGN*** (None of your business)
**[10:15] Akemi**
Oh, just shut up, Morita!
**[10:17] Morita**
I didn't say anything yet...
**[10:20] Azuma**
I see...
**[10:23] Azuma**
You've lost your confidence as
a man because you're so unpopular.
**[10:28] Morita**
I didn't say anything yet...
**[10:30] Azuma**
But, I really understand that...
**[10:37] Azuma**
I used to have low self-esteem in the past
and was never good with the ladies.
**[10:43] Akemi**
Oh, really? How did you overcome it?
***SIGN*** Douglas Hamada
Have confidence in
your overconfidence!
Super Technique
to Become Popular
**[10:48] Akemi**
Okay, I get it. You don't have to take it out.
**[10:52] Azuma**
In that way, I feel like I'm seeing
my old self in Morita-san.
**[10:57] Akemi**
Isn't it a bit much to be saying
you were at Morita's level back then?
**[11:01] Azuma**
No.
**[11:03] Azuma**
During my middle school years,
I was exactly like this.
**[11:07] Morita**
You know it gives people mixed feelings
when an adult tells another adult
**[11:11] Morita**
that they were just like
them during middle school?
**[11:13] Akemi**
Well, yeah, I suppose there was one
person who was like Morita in school,
**[11:18] Akemi**
but it's hard to believe that
you were the one in that position.
**[11:22] Azuma**
Then... how about...
***SIGN*** End of the Road
**[11:26] Azuma**
you see it for yourself?
**[11:27] Akemi**
Why do you even have your yearbook with you?
**[11:30] Akemi**
But I do love looking at people's yearbooks!
**[11:33] Morita**
The way her focus changes
instantly is like a pro athlete!
**[11:38] Azuma**
My picture is...
**[11:40] Akemi**
Wait! Don't tell me!
**[11:43] Akemi**
It's fun when you try and
guess while saying "Is this you?"
**[11:47] Morita**
She's a yearbook magistrate!
**[11:49] Pinky**
And?
**[11:56] Akemi**
Which girl do you like in this class?
**[11:58] Morita**
It always comes to this when
looking through a yearbook.
**[12:01] Morita**
But when you seriously think about it,
don't you think this is extremely rude?!
**[12:06] Morita**
Having people talk about your looks
when you aren't around is just...
**[12:11] Morita**
Well, I'd choose her.
***SIGN*** Toda Natsuko
***SIGN*** Matsuura Mina
***SIGN*** Kikuchi Hiroshi
***SIGN*** Okada Shouhei
**[12:13] Akemi**
Just as I thought, you grow
a thick skin when you've become
**[12:16] Akemi**
so used to people talking
about you to your face.
**[12:19] Akemi**
Let's just leave aside the fact
that choosing from
**[12:22] Akemi**
a middle school yearbook
would make anyone a lolicon, but...
**[12:25] Akemi**
You sure chose a girl who
looks plain. That's not like you.
**[12:30] Morita**
You don't get it!
You just don't get it, Akemi-chan!
**[12:34] Morita**
During elementary school, boys tend
to go for the cheery girls, right?
**[12:38] Akemi**
Well, yeah, I suppose.
**[12:41] Morita**
But when you get to middle school,
**[12:43] Morita**
you go for the girl who's a bit plain
but you feel something within her.
**[12:47] Morita**
You go for the girl who makes you think,
**[12:51] Morita**
"I'm the only one who understands
how great she is."
**[12:53] Morita**
Don't you see?
**[12:55] Akemi**
That's very much like you, Morita.
**[12:57] Pinky**
Gross.
**[12:58] Morita**
Then, when you get to high school,
you choose a girl who's close to you.
**[13:03] Morita**
You learn to compromise and become an adult.
***SIGN*** A virgin who can't become an adult
**[13:06] Akemi**
What are you, a virgin who can't even
become an adult, preaching about?
**[13:09] Pinky**
I don't want to grow up...
***SIGN*** I don't want to grow up
**[13:11] Morita**
Now, if we're talking about whether
I could sleep with any of them,
**[13:14] Morita**
I could with most, but...
**[13:17] Akemi**
Seriously, what are you talking about?
**[13:19] Morita**
You girls only look at the good-looking ones,
but it's not like that for guys.
**[13:25] Morita**
Boys not only consider looks,
we carefully evaluate all of the details.
**[13:30] Morita**
Then, ultimately, we decide whether
we can sleep with them or not.
**[13:35] Akemi**
What, you do that for all of the women?
**[13:38] Morita**
Of course. I have an eye
for this sort of thing.
**[13:42] Morita**
Considering I've gone
through plenty of yearbooks.
***SIGN*** B+ Rank
***SIGN*** A Rank
**[13:46] Morita**
You could trust me on this one.
**[13:48] Akemi**
With... yearbooks?
***SIGN*** Unmeasurable
**[13:52] Morita**
Yeah, I've jerked off to many yearbooks.
**[13:57] Akemi**
That's... very much like you, Morita...
**[13:59] Pinky**
Too gross!
**[14:01] Morita**
I feel like I'm speaking
my mind more than usual.
**[14:05] Morita**
Is it just me?
**[14:06] Akemi and Pinky**
You're super gross
from the bottom of your heart...
**[14:09] Azuma**
Hey...
**[14:14] Azuma**
Quickly... find me, please?
**[14:16] Akemi**
Aw, what a dramatic thing to say.
***SIGN*** Yearbook
***SIGN*** End of
the Road 1990
**[14:23] Akemi**
Hmm... Is he part of the baseball team or not?
**[14:23] [SONG] Caption {上田}**
Ueda Ichirou
**[14:23] [SONG] Caption {今川}**
Imakawa Saori
**[14:23] [SONG] Caption {大内}**
Ouchi Hiroshi
**[14:23] [SONG] Caption {落合}**
Ochiai Fukushi
**[14:23] [SONG] Caption {鴨居}**
Kamoi Yuko
**[14:26] Azuma**
Please don't start a guessing game of whether
**[14:28] Azuma**
a middle school kid is in baseball or not!
**[14:30] Azuma**
Hey, do you really have
any intention of finding me?
**[14:33] Akemi**
Oh, I found him!
**[14:35] Akemi**
The one holding the wooden sword
in the boy's room during a school trip!
**[14:38] Azuma**
What are you finding?!
**[14:40] Akemi**
Speaking of school trips,
**[14:43] Akemi**
there were always boys who would try to
sneak into the girls' room, get caught,
**[14:45] Akemi**
and then be punished for it
by having to sit seiza-style.
**[14:48] Azuma**
Yeah, there were...
**[14:49] Morita**
I also wanted to make memories going into
the girls' room during school trips.
**[14:53] Akemi**
If it's you, Morita, I have a feeling
they'd be calling the police
**[14:56] Akemi**
instead of just making you sit seiza-style.
**[14:58] Akemi**
Please, if you want to sit seiza-style,
**[15:00] Akemi**
make it so that you got caught trying to watch
the porn channel or something instead, okay?
**[15:03] Morita**
Well... I was having fun by myself
in the inn's closet, so...
**[15:10] Morita**
Slap! Slap! Slap!
**[15:11] Akemi**
Don't taint the sleeping area
for one of Japan's favorite characters!
**[15:16] Azuma**
Hey...
**[15:18] Azuma**
Could you please move on to looking
at my middle school picture?
**[15:22] Akemi**
Yep, we're all done, so if you will, please.
***SIGN*** Azuma Miki
***SIGN*** Annooh Kata
***SIGN*** Annooka Futoshi
**[15:28] Azuma**
It's this one.
**[15:30] Akemi**
An androgynous handsome boy?!
***SIGN*** End of the Road 1990
**[15:34] Akemi**
What... in... the... world...
**[15:38] Akemi**
Does the passage of time
really change everything?!
***SIGN*** Douglas Hamada
Have confidence in
your overconfidence!
Super Technique
to Become Popular
**[15:43] Akemi**
Douglas... Hamada!
**[15:48] Akemi**
Wait, weren't we talking about
how you weren't popular
**[15:51] Akemi**
like Morita during your middle school years?
**[15:54] Akemi**
With a cute look like that,
you must have been popular, no?
**[15:57] Azuma**
No...
**[15:59] Azuma**
I was actually bullied because I looked weak...
**[16:03] Akemi**
Oh...
**[16:05] Azuma**
Especially... by girls.
**[16:07] Akemi**
That... must have been tough.
**[16:11] Azuma**
Yeah... In the past they'd...
**[16:14] Azuma**
Stop! Stop it! I'm going to pee!
**[16:22] Azuma**
...and made me cry a lot.
**[16:26] Morita**
Talk...
**[16:27] Morita**
If it's going to help you
feel better... Keep talking...
**[16:30] Morita**
I'll listen.
**[16:31] Akemi**
Your lecherous virgin side
is showing itself again.
**[16:36] Morita**
Bullied, huh...
**[16:38] Morita**
When I look at the scribbles
on the back of the yearbook,
**[16:41] Morita**
I can only imagine
how horrible it must have been...
***SIGN*** Let's meet again!
***SIGN*** It's been
fun all year!
***SIGN*** Thanks for
everything! It's
been fun!
***SIGN*** Congratulations!
**[16:46] Akemi**
Um... That's the page where you have
friends write you messages and stuff.
**[16:51] Morita**
Wha? Wha?
**[16:55] Akemi**
But you worked really hard to
overcome the bullying.
**[16:59] Azuma**
Yeah, it wasn't easy...
**[17:03] Azuma**
I read all kinds of books,
found out that the world is big...
**[17:07] Azuma**
And then finding the kindness
in people was what really saved me.
**[17:12] Akemi**
I'm relieved to hear that there were
influences other than Douglas Hamada.
**[17:17] Akemi**
Morita, I hope you find kindness in people
so you can overcome the bullying too.
**[17:22] Morita**
I think talking as if I'm already being bullied
is a form of bullying, you know?
**[17:28] Morita**
No... If we're talking about the past,
I might have been the opposite...
**[17:35] Akemi**
What do you mean?
**[17:36] Morita**
I was...
**[17:38] Morita**
on the bullying side.
**[17:41] Akemi and Azuma**
I'm just as shocked as someone finding out that
the character from the first episode
**[17:44] Akemi and Azuma**
was the one behind everything
in a long-running series!
**[17:47] Akemi**
M-Morita...
**[17:50] Morita**
Whenever I picked up
a girl's eraser, I'd make her cry...
**[17:53] Girl D**
No!
**[17:55] Morita**
Whenever we changed seats
in class, I'd make a girl cry...
**[18:03] Morita**
In any case, I was always making a girl cry...
**[18:06] Morita**
If I were to go to jail for bullying,
I'd be at the bottom of the hierarchy.
**[18:16] Akemi**
Here.
**[18:17] Morita**
What's that?
**[18:19] Akemi**
Half of a painkiller;
the side made of kindness...
**[18:30] Morita**
I seriously don't understand why
there's a need to give me kindness.
**[18:34] Akemi**
By the way...
**[18:36] Akemi**
I wonder what it means when they say
half of it is made of kindness.
**[18:40] Morita**
You're going to ask that when you're
the one who gave it to me?
**[18:43] Morita**
Usually this sort of medication
is really harsh on the stomach,
**[18:49] Morita**
so to counterbalance that
they mix a stomach medicine with it.
**[18:52] Morita**
That's what they call the "kindness."
**[18:55] Azuma**
You're knowledgeable.
**[18:57] Akemi**
You're really amazing when it comes
to stuff like this, Morita.
**[19:00] Akemi**
Wait, that means...!
**[19:03] DV male**
Didn't I tell you to wait 8 minutes
for Yukimi Daifuku?!
**[19:10] DV male**
Do you want one?
**[19:11] Female Victim**
You're so nice.
**[19:12] Female Victim**
It's making me wet.
**[19:13] Akemi**
Even though he was the one who hit her,
**[19:15] Akemi**
he's trying to pass that off
as kindness by giving her some?!
**[19:17] Akemi**
Those are most certainly
the thoughts of an abusive man!
**[19:20] Morita**
After you said that I thought the same thing,
**[19:23] Morita**
but the medication is
suppressing inflammation, so...
**[19:25] Akemi**
Oh, that's true.
**[19:27] Morita**
It's a proper medicine, so you
have to give them credit for that.
**[19:31] Akemi**
Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
**[19:35] Akemi**
And... What were we talking about, again?
**[19:38] Azuma**
We were talking about how
Morita-san made girls cry.
**[19:42] Akemi**
Oh, that's right. We were talking about
how gross Morita has been since he was a kid.
**[19:47] Morita**
What? That's what we were talking about?
**[19:52] Tatsu-ni**
Yo.
**[19:53] Akemi**
Oh, Tatsu-ni, you're later than usual today.
**[19:56] Basue**
Peek-a-boo.
**[19:58] Akemi**
Huh, Mama?
**[20:00] Akemi**
Were you two...?
**[20:01] Tatsu-ni**
Can't say I can confidently live up
to your expectations, Akemi-chan.
**[20:05] Basue**
We just happened to meet downstairs.
**[20:09] Akemi**
Well, of course.
**[20:11] Tatsu-ni**
And I was thinking I'd sing
a song before I head home.
**[20:16] Tatsu-ni**
So, is it okay if I sing?
**[20:19] Tatsu-ni**
You guys seemed to be having a heated
conversation, so I can wait until you're done.
**[20:23] Akemi**
Oh, we're good.
**[20:25] Akemi**
We finished with the conclusion
that Morita is gross as usual.
**[20:29] Morita**
It seems it ended with that.
**[20:31] Tatsu-ni**
If you're all right with that,
Morita-chan, then I don't mind, but...
**[20:37] Tatsu-ni**
Oh, I actually really
wanted to sing a duet today.
**[20:42] Akemi**
There really are two types of people
in the world, don't you think?
**[20:45] Akemi**
Those who love singing duets,
and those who don't.
**[20:47] Tatsu-ni**
I could usually go either way, but today
just felt like a good day for a duet.
**[20:54] Akemi**
Is it the kind where you want to grope a breast
near the end of a song while you sing it?
**[20:57] Tatsu-ni**
I'm worried about how many
viewers will remember that song...
**[21:01] Basue**
There's zero chance that
anyone overseas will get this.
**[21:05] Tatsu-ni**
When it comes to actually singing
a song though, I never know what to choose.
**[21:10] Azuma**
Then...
**[21:12] Azuma**
Why don't you choose from here?
***SIGN*** Prepare For Nightlife
***SIGN*** 100 Duet Selections
***SIGN*** Douglas Hamada
**[21:15] Tatsu-ni**
Oh, nice.
**[21:17] Akemi**
You really are something, Douglas Hamada.
**[21:20] Tatsu-ni**
Oh, I'm going to choose this one.
**[21:24] Akemi**
Nice, Suzuki siblings.
**[21:24] [SONG] Caption**
Reserve
***SIGN*** Lonely Chaplin
**[21:29] Tatsu-ni**
Akemi-chan, can you sing this one?
**[21:32] Akemi**
Uhh... I'm not that confident
in this one, but...
**[21:35] Basue**
Then I'll sing it.
**[21:39] Akemi**
Oh, you'll sing?
**[21:40] Tatsu-ni**
Then I'm counting on you, Mama.
**[21:43] Basue**
Leave it to me.
**[21:45] Tatsu-ni**
* The wind is reflected*
* in my distant-looking eyes.*
**[21:53] Tatsu-ni**
*I remember when it happened long ago.*
**[22:02] Basue**
*Your face slumped against the window.*
**[22:10] Basue**
*The sorrow you only show me.*
**[22:19] Tatsu-ni**
*Lonely Chaplin.*
**[22:24] Basue**
*Even if time passes and you disappear,*
**[22:32] Basue**
*I bet I'd still be waiting for you.*
**[22:38] Basue and Tatsu-ni**
*Smile like a little boy.*
**[22:46] Basue**
*You'll find your way home*
**[22:50] Basue and Tatsu-ni**
*back to my heart, I'm sure.*
**[22:55] Basue and Tatsu-ni**
*As long as you have your unfulfilled dream*
**[23:03] Basue**
*Oh, Do what you wanna do again.*
**[23:07] Basue and Tatsu-ni**
*Oh, Do what you wanna do again.*
**[23:18] Azuma**
The alcohol tastes great today...
**[23:20] Azuma**
That's how I feel.
**[23:22] Akemi**
I understand. It's the perfect day
for a visit to a snack bar.
**[23:26] Basue**
It's because your singing was great, Tatsu-ni.
**[23:30] Tatsu-ni**
You're making me blush, Mama.
**[23:32] Morita**
Even though I was only told
how gross I was today...
**[23:37] Akemi**
Today's such a good day...
**[23:39] Azuma**
Yeah...
**[23:41] Tatsu-ni**
You said it...
**[23:42] Basue**
Yes, it was.
**[23:44] Morita**
Even though I was only told
how gross I was today...
# E8 - None Of Us Are Free / In The Midnight Hour / Twinkle Twinkle Little Me / Angel
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GEVUZDVXX/none-of-us-are-free--in-the-midnight-hour--twinkle-twinkle-little-me--angel)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** (See me as I am)
**[00:05] [SONG] Caption**
POOP
**[00:11] Cat Yellow**
Oh, are you really sure
you want to take that card?
**[00:15] Cat Purple**
Hmm... What?
**[00:15] Cat Purple**
Wait, what do you mean by that?
**[00:17] Cat Yellow**
Oh, you touched the card, so no takebacks.
**[00:21] Cat Purple**
Wha?!
**[00:22] Cat Red**
I really want to...
**[00:25] [SONG] Caption {red}**
Cat Red
**[00:25] [SONG] Caption {red}**
Cat Red
**[00:25] [SONG] Caption {white}**
Slightly Perverted
Show Off
**[00:25] Cat Red**
let loose above ground!
**[00:29] [SONG] Caption {blue}**
Cat Blue
**[00:29] [SONG] Caption {blue}**
Cat Blue
***SIGN*** Slightly
Perverted
Leader
**[00:29] Cat Blue**
Don't even think about it, Red.
**[00:31] Cat Blue**
You'll get scolded by Master.
**[00:33] [SONG] Caption {purple}**
Cat
Purple
**[00:33] [SONG] Caption {purple}**
Cat
Purple
***SIGN*** Slightly
Perverted
Sourpuss
***SIGN*** Cat Yellow
**[00:33] [SONG] Caption {yellow}**
Cat Yellow
**[00:33] [SONG] Caption {white}**
Abnormally
Perverted
**[00:34] Cat Purple**
You say that, Blue,
but I know you want to let loose too.
**[00:39] Cat Blue**
I want to let loose!
**[00:44] Cat Blue**
Let's hit the streets!
**[00:47] All Cats**
Yeah! Cowabunga!
***SIGN*** Snack Basue
**[00:55] All Cats**
Cowabunga!
**[00:58] Akemi**
Absolutely not!
**[01:07] [SONG] Sign**
Snack Basue
**[01:11] [SONG] Sign**
Snack Basue
**[02:36] Last Boss**
I see...
**[02:38] Last Boss**
Vargas has been defeated...
**[02:40] Muscle Brain**
Ha! Interesting!
**[02:43] Muscle Brain**
I'll hunt down the one who defeated Vargas!
**[02:47] Sorceress**
No cutting in line, little boy.
**[02:50] Muscle Brain**
What?!
**[02:52] Dark Knight**
Before my sword, no enemies shall prevail.
**[02:59] Muscle Brain**
Ha! You're a creepy bastard, as always.
**[03:04] Akemi**
Um...
**[03:06] Akemi**
Do you mind if I have a drink?
**[03:06] [SONG] Caption**
(Dedicated to the strong enemies... ...!)
**[03:09] Last Boss**
Go ahead.
**[03:11] Akemi**
Well then, don't mind if I do!
**[03:13] Akemi**
Thanks for the booze!
**[03:20] Akemi**
Well, customers, looking from left to right,
there seems to be some diversity among you,
**[03:24] Akemi**
even though I recognize most of these
tropes from somewhere, but...
**[03:26] Akemi**
How do you all know each other?
Is it through work?
**[03:32] Last Boss**
We're friends with a common goal...
**[03:35] Muscle Brain**
Ha! Friends?! I just wanna fight strong guys!
**[03:40] Sorceress**
My, aren't you a shy one?
**[03:42] Muscle Brain**
What?!
**[03:44] Dark Knight**
Before my sword, no enemies shall prevail.
**[03:47] Akemi**
You just said that a second ago.
**[03:50] Muscle Brain**
Ha! You're a creepy bastard, as always.
**[03:54] Akemi**
Is that supposed to be
the punchline or something?!
**[03:56] Akemi**
It's hard to work it here when
you're telling inside jokes, you know.
**[03:59] Basue**
Akemi-chan, these people are probably
all commanders of an organization
**[04:04] Basue**
that's fighting against the main character.
**[04:05] Akemi**
You look like an elderly version of
them too, lined up like that, Mama.
**[04:10] Akemi**
Hmm... The commanders
of an enemy organization, huh...
**[04:14] Akemi**
From what you just said, it sounds
like one of you was defeated?
**[04:17] Akemi**
Must be tough...
**[04:19] Last Boss**
Yeah...
**[04:21] Akemi**
But it's exhilarating!
**[04:24] Akemi**
Because the battle with the very first
commander is always the most intense one!
**[04:30] Last Boss**
Most... intense...?
**[04:32] Akemi**
That's right.
**[04:35] Akemi**
T-This guy... He's on a different level
from all the others I've faced before.
**[04:39] Akemi**
Kind of like that, and it brings
excitement to the battle.
**[04:43] Akemi**
All the other commanders who have
to fight after that must have it very tough.
**[04:49] Sorceress**
Huh? Does it need to be intense?
**[04:52] Dark Knight**
Dunno...?
**[04:54] Akemi**
Of course it does!
**[04:56] Akemi**
Anyone who has achieved a great accomplishment
**[04:58] Akemi**
must have a shining moment or they
won't be loved beyond their time!
**[05:02] Akemi**
In all honesty, the audience never fully
understands what the person has accomplished,
**[05:05] Akemi**
so they'd rather have a funny story about them!
**[05:09] Akemi**
Even the poet Takuboku Ishikawa,
who has a connection to Hokkaido,
***SIGN*** Takuboku Ishikawa
**[05:13] Akemi**
is only popular now because of stories
about him being a shithead!
**[05:16] Basue**
Akemi-chan, that's your personal opinion.
**[05:19] Takuboku**
Lend me money.
**[05:21] Akemi**
Either way, anything but the main
event is what everyone desires.
**[05:25] Takuboku**
Time to blow it on girls.
**[05:27] Muscle Brain**
Hmph! Doesn't matter to me!
**[05:29] Muscle Brain**
I just wanna fight!
**[05:32] Akemi**
I wanted the muscle-brain type
to be defeated first.
**[05:36] Sorceress**
But, yes...
**[05:38] Sorceress**
I understand what you mean.
**[05:40] Akemi**
Right? So let's make it exciting!
**[05:43] Dark Knight**
Hmm... Pray tell, how does one
"build excitement?"
**[05:47] Akemi**
Let's see. If you have some kind of
connection with the main character,
**[05:52] Akemi**
I think that could heat things up.
**[05:54] Muscle Brain**
A connection?
**[05:56] Muscle Brain**
If you wanna talk about connections,
**[05:57] Muscle Brain**
I was the one who killed the main
character's foster parents.
**[06:01] Akemi**
Get out! That's a good one you have there!
**[06:04] Akemi**
That's good! That'll really shake things up!
**[06:07] Akemi**
As they say, revenge is the perfect spice!
**[06:11] Sorceress**
If that's the case...
**[06:14] Sorceress**
I was on the same side as the main
character, protecting the world and all,
**[06:20] Sorceress**
until I betrayed mankind after a tragic event.
**[06:22] Akemi**
Oh, that one is good too.
**[06:25] Basue**
Enemies with a sad past are always
a classic, don't you think?
**[06:30] Akemi**
I know, right? There has to be one
or it just doesn't feel right!
**[06:35] Akemi**
And?
**[06:35] Akemi**
How about you?
**[06:37] Dark Knight**
I'm... actually...
**[06:40] Dark Knight**
the main character's father!
**[06:42] Basue and Akemi**
What a shitty dad!
**[06:45] Basue**
Why does the main character's dad
always become the enemy?!
**[06:49] Akemi**
But you can't go wrong with that plot!
**[06:52] Akemi**
And next! How about you,
the silent one over there?
**[07:00] Muscle Brain**
Ha! You're a creepy bastar- What?!
**[07:04] Akemi**
He said something...
**[07:06] Hood**
I pretend to be the main character on
social media without his permission...
**[07:10] Akemi and Muscle Brain**
What a creepy bastard!
**[07:12] Basue**
How do you feel when you do that?
**[07:18] Basue**
Say something, will ya?
**[07:21] Akemi**
This is one really dark group, and I
mean that in more ways than one.
**[07:24] Akemi**
Well, then... Lastly, how about you,
who seems to be the leader of sorts?
**[07:28] Last Boss**
I...
**[07:30] Akemi**
I?
**[07:32] Last Boss**
I don't have anything...
**[07:34] Akemi**
What?
**[07:35] Last Boss**
I'm the only one who doesn't have
any connections with the main character?!
**[07:39] Last Boss**
If this keeps up, I might not even
run into the main character
**[07:41] Last Boss**
and will just suddenly appear as the last boss!
**[07:45] Basue**
Is it really a good idea to assume that
your friends are going to lose?
**[07:49] Sorceress**
You idiot, what are you even saying?
**[07:53] Last Boss**
Huh?
**[07:54] Muscle Brain**
Heh! Whatcha being distant for all of a sudden?
**[07:59] Muscle Brain**
We'll make sure you have enough time.
**[08:02] Sorceress**
So go make those connections
with the main character...
**[08:06] Dark Knight**
And claim thy place as the Last Boss!
**[08:10] Hood**
Like button.
**[08:11] Last Boss**
Y-You guys!
**[08:14] Basue**
What a beautiful friendship.
**[08:17] Akemi**
But, is he going to be able to
make a connection
**[08:20] Akemi**
that doesn't clash with anyone else's?
**[08:22] Basue and Akemi**
Huh? Welcome!
**[08:30] Akemi**
Ugh, *he's* the main character?
**[08:37] Last Boss**
Here, the bill.
**[08:40] Akemi**
Oh, you're leaving?
**[08:42] Last Boss**
Yeah...
**[09:01] Akemi**
That's the one thing you shouldn't do!
***SIGN*** (Embrace your inner child)
**[09:15] Tatsu-ni**
Man, I want to... go to the amusement park.
**[09:19] Akemi**
Welcome!
**[09:20] Tatsu-ni**
This place is more like a zoo
than anything else.
**[09:24] Akemi**
Moo!
**[09:25] Tatsu-ni**
Oh, are you pretending to be a cow?
**[09:28] Akemi**
Nope, it's a giraffe.
**[09:30] Tatsu-ni**
See, it is a zoo.
**[09:33] Tatsu-ni**
Well... You see, once every few years,
**[09:36] Tatsu-ni**
there's a phase when I really feel like
getting on a roller coaster,
**[09:40] Tatsu-ni**
and that time is right now.
**[09:42] Akemi**
An amusement park, huh...
**[09:46] Akemi**
I'm really bad with roller coasters and stuff.
**[09:49] Akemi**
But I do love ferris wheels!
**[09:53] Akemi**
They say smoke and idiots
like high places after all.
**[09:57] Tatsu-ni**
Are you calling yourself out?
**[09:59] Akemi**
Just so you know, I'm the smoke, okay...
**[10:02] Tatsu-ni**
Calling yourself smoke
is what an idiot would say.
**[10:06] Akemi**
But yeah, amusement parks are nice.
**[10:09] Akemi**
If you drive us, I don't mind tagging along.
**[10:13] Tatsu-ni**
Just what kind of car do you think I drive?
**[10:16] Tatsu-ni**
Oh, uh, but...
**[10:21] Tatsu-ni**
Looks-wise, you think it'll be okay for us to go
to the amusement park together?
**[10:26] Akemi**
Looks-wise?
**[10:28] Tatsu-ni**
If we go to the amusement park
together during the day,
**[10:32] Tatsu-ni**
wouldn't we be bad influences on the little
ones who are there with their families?
**[10:35] Akemi**
I think it'll be okay? People might
think we're a family too.
**[10:40] Tatsu-ni**
You think so? Now that you mention it,
**[10:43] Tatsu-ni**
our ages are far apart enough
to seem that way, but...
**[10:46] Tatsu-ni**
But people might think I'm just doing papa-katsu!
**[10:50] Tatsu-ni**
On top of that, if it's just the two of us,
**[10:52] Akemi**
it's pretty much like we're going on
a date to the amusement park...
**[10:54] Akemi**
Oh, man...
**[10:55] Tatsu-ni**
I'd see you as a woman, so it's a no-go.
**[10:59] Akemi**
I'm a little happy that you see me as a woman,
**[11:03] Akemi**
but to be told it's a no-go
because of it pisses me off.
**[11:06] Akemi**
Hmm... Then why don't we invite Mama, too?
**[11:10] Tatsu-ni**
Mama, huh...
**[11:11] Akemi**
If it's just two people, they would
look like a pair of night owls, but...
**[11:14] [SONG] Caption**
Outlaw
**[11:14] Basue**
Outlaw!
**[11:15] Akemi**
when you add an elderly figure, they would
resemble a group with higher morals.
***SIGN*** Elderly IN! Moral UP!
**[11:19] Basue**
Elderly IN! Moral UP!
**[11:22] Tatsu-ni**
But if Mama is there
and you're there, Akemi-chan...
**[11:25] Tatsu-ni**
It'll be just like the snack bar.
**[11:28] Tatsu-ni**
You gotta keep up the amusement park imagery.
**[11:30] Akemi**
Tatsu-ni, I bet you're the type who nitpicks
where the indirect lighting is in a room!
**[11:35] Akemi**
Then why don't you just go by yourself?
**[11:37] Tatsu-ni**
Well, that's a little...
**[11:39] Tatsu-ni**
I don't think you could enjoy
the roller coaster if you went by yourself...
**[11:45] Akemi**
Then just invite Morita and Yamada...
**[11:48] Akemi**
Wait, no, they don't seem like the types
to go to an amusement park...
**[11:52] Tatsu-ni**
Well, three dudes going
to an amusement park would...
**[11:56] Tatsu-ni**
absolutely be fun!
**[11:58] Akemi**
What, even though you guys are old men?
**[12:00] Tatsu-ni**
Because we're going to an amusement park
to ride on the roller coaster
**[12:05] Takuboku**
and they're both wearing glasses!
**[12:07] Akemi**
You know they make you take off
the glasses before you get on now,
**[12:09] Akemi**
and only a few would even understand that joy!
**[12:12] Tatsu-ni**
And it doesn't matter how old you are,
it's always fun hanging with just the guys.
**[12:17] Akemi**
The way you said that annoys me a bit somehow.
***SIGN*** Snack Basue
**[12:22] Akemi**
Snack Basue.
**[12:32] Morita**
It's me, with my super rare jackpot entrance!
***SIGN*** (That honest girl)
**[12:38] Kosame**
Welcome...
**[12:41] Morita**
Oh... You're the new hire, right?
**[12:45] Morita**
Where are Akemi-chan and Mama?
**[12:47] Kosame**
I'm sorry... It's only me today...
**[12:52] Morita**
Oh... I see...
**[12:55] Morita**
Well, may I have a shochu mixed
with water then, please...
**[12:59] Kosame**
Oh, yes.
**[13:05] Akemi**
You know how people compare
changes in the anime they watched
**[13:08] Akemi**
to the original manga it came from?
**[13:11] Basue**
Uh-huh, they do.
**[13:13] Akemi**
Are they going to tell us that
in the manga it was like this,
**[13:15] Akemi**
but the anime is just putting in filler?
**[13:19] Basue**
Is that something that needs
to be mentioned now?
**[13:22] Akemi**
I figured if we're going to be
bashed for it, why not bash it first?
**[13:25] Basue**
Akemi-chan, anime has its own
reasons for being like that.
**[13:31] Basue**
More importantly...
**[13:33] Basue**
We were watching over
Kosame-chan from another room
**[13:36] Basue**
to see if she can handle the shift alone, but...
**[13:39] Basue**
To think, of all people,
it was Morita-chan who came today...
**[13:44] Basue**
I was watching over her as if she were
going on her first errands,
**[13:47] Basue**
but now it feels more like a reality TV show.
**[13:54] Akemi**
Oh, come on!
**[13:55] Akemi**
Why are you acting so shy?!
**[13:57] Akemi**
Especially you, Morita! It's not like you!
**[14:00] Akemi**
You have the advantage as a paying customer,
so do your best and go on the attack!
**[14:04] Basue**
The one who has to work hard
is Kosame-chan, you know?
**[14:08] Basue**
But this match...
**[14:10] Basue**
It's up to Kosame-chan's hospitality skills,
but it's also interesting to see whether
**[14:15] Basue**
Morita-chan can back out and
go home without messing up.
**[14:21] Akemi**
I only sense a sour match coming on...
**[14:24] Basue**
While we're babbling on here,
**[14:26] Basue**
this match depends on whether
Kosame-chan can take the lead...
**[14:30] Kosame**
Um...
**[14:33] Kosame**
Do you want to sing?
**[14:34] Basue and Akemi**
She took it out! The karaoke remote!
**[14:38] Basue**
Just as I theorized, she's making
the guest sing to make it last.
**[14:42] Akemi**
But Morita isn't the type to
sing in a situation like this...
**[14:47] Akemi**
He's the type where if everyone
went to the izakaya
**[14:50] Akemi**
he'd be the only one unable
to decide what to get.
**[14:55] Akemi**
A guy like that can't possibly choose
the first song to sing at a snack bar!
**[15:04] Akemi**
No way...
**[15:06] Akemi**
Can you sing it, Morita?!
**[15:08] Basue**
Negative!
**[15:10] Basue**
That's just him looking through
the song history!
**[15:12] Basue**
It's the same action as a shy person
staring at a bottle label for no reason!
**[15:17] Akemi**
I can't stand just hearing the sad
noises coming from the remote!
**[15:21] Basue**
And because he's trying to fill
the awkward silence by drinking his booze,
**[15:25] Basue**
it's emptying so quickly!
**[15:27] Akemi**
Any guy who tries to fill in
the time by drinking
**[15:30] Akemi**
also seems to have a hard time
getting up to go to the bathroom,
**[15:32] Akemi**
but I wonder if he'll be okay...
**[15:35] Akemi**
I wonder if Kosame-chan will notice
this sudden attack-like way
**[15:38] Akemi**
that he's emptying his glass.
**[15:40] Basue**
Oh! I think she did notice it!
**[15:43] Akemi**
Nice, but...
**[15:46] Basue and Akemi**
She's making it really strong!
**[15:51] Basue**
I guess she went with the
"get them drunk first" approach.
**[15:55] Akemi**
Kosame-chan has really grown...
**[15:59] Kosame**
You don't... usually sing much, huh?
**[16:03] Basue**
Oh, s-she went there!
**[16:04] Basue**
She's using karaoke as a starting point
***SIGN*** Karaoke
***SIGN*** Not Sing
***SIGN*** Sing
***SIGN*** Favorite Singer?
***SIGN*** Sing
***SIGN*** Has One
***SIGN*** Doesn't Have One
**[16:05] [SONG] Caption**
Talk About Popular Songs
***SIGN*** Personality Denial
***SIGN*** Sing
**[16:06] Basue**
to lead to a conversation about what
music artists he likes!
**[16:08] Basue**
The ultimate combo to guarantee a win!
***SIGN*** Dreams
***SIGN*** Love
***SIGN*** Hope
**[16:10] Akemi**
This girl... She's leveling up while in battle!
**[16:12] [SONG] Caption**
Infinite
**[16:14] Morita**
I like singing, but...
I don't usually sing at the snack bar.
**[16:19] Kosame**
What kind of songs
do you sing outside the snack bar?
**[16:23] Morita**
Well...
**[16:25] Morita**
I'd say... my own songs.
**[16:28] Basue and Akemi**
Ouch!
**[16:30] Akemi**
That's what I'm talking about, Morita!
**[16:33] Basue**
Seriously, I can't tell
if he's serious or joking!
**[16:36] Basue**
Even he has a look like,
"Why did I just say that?"
**[16:42] Akemi**
It's like the look you get when you're
asked at the convenience store
**[16:44] Akemi**
"Would you like it warmed up?" and you
end up answering super loud by mistake.
**[16:49] Kosame**
Your own... Oh, are you a singer?
**[16:52] Morita**
No... It's nothing like that, but...
**[16:55] Morita**
You know... I only do it as a hobby and...
**[16:58] Morita**
I don't have other people
listen to it or anything...
**[17:01] Morita**
Well... How should I put it...
**[17:03] Morita**
I sing it in the process of making it...
**[17:07] Akemi**
He should have just changed
the subject back to favorite singers
**[17:10] Akemi**
and forgotten that he even mentioned it...
**[17:13] Basue**
The journey of a clumsy and sincere man,
**[17:16] Basue**
who tries overly hard to remain
a gentleman to the other.
**[17:19] Basue**
Kosame-chan is going to have
a hard time responding to this one...
**[17:21] Kosame**
Wow... that's amazing!
**[17:24] Basue and Akemi**
What?
**[17:26] Kosame**
It seems really fun to make your own song!
**[17:29] Kosame**
So are you really good at
reading sheet music too?
**[17:33] Morita**
W-Well, yeah, I'm good.
**[17:36] Kosame**
That's really amazing!
**[17:38] Kosame**
Sheet music is basically
a foreign language, isn't it?
**[17:41] Morita**
Foreign language?
**[17:42] Kosame**
That means you're practically bilingual!
**[17:46] Akemi**
The stupidity of her words
emphasizes their sincerity.
**[17:50] Basue**
Fortissimo, indeed!
**[17:54] Akemi**
What even... She's such a good girl...
**[17:56] Akemi**
If a nice girl like her
was at a snack bar, I'd go too.
**[18:00] Basue**
Akemi-chan! You're suppose
to be that nice girl!
**[18:05] Morita**
I'm heavily influenced by the acapella trend.
**[18:08] Kosame**
What is that?
**[18:10] Morita**
To put it simply, acapella is
when you sing with no accompaniment.
**[18:15] Morita**
And there used to be a show
where amateurs would sing on TV.
**[18:18] Kosame**
It sounds amazing.
**[18:21] Morita**
Although, supposedly, songs sung in churches
were known as acapella singing at first.
**[18:25] Kosame**
A church, sounds amazing.
**[18:28] Morita**
Even though there are no instruments being used,
**[18:30] Morita**
I was so moved by it that I started doing it myself.
**[18:33] Basue**
I was a little worried about
the execution at first, but...
**[18:34] Kosame {background}**
Wow, sounds amazing.
**[18:36] Akemi**
It seems like things are
going well and they're having fun...
**[18:43] Basue**
Oh, I don't have the patience anymore!
**[18:45] Basue**
Let's go intrude! Just like in the ending
of a touching youth documentary!
**[18:50] Basue**
With the Carpenter's song playing in the back!
**[18:52] Akemi**
All right! Let's do it!
**[18:59] Basue**
The Carpenter's song
didn't play in the background!
**[19:03] Akemi**
There's also a reason for that too!
**[19:09] Morita**
Oh, they're kind of running
at us in slow motion?!
**[19:13] Akemi**
Yay! There's still more to come
after the commercials!
**[19:16] Basue**
After the commercials,
they're going right into the next program,
**[19:19] Basue**
so we're going to quickly roll the credits
and end it here for today.
**[19:24] Morita**
What are you talking about?!
**[19:28] Akemi**
My, you've shown us something really good.
**[19:32] Basue**
How do you feel at the moment, Morita-chan?
**[19:35] Morita**
Um...
**[19:39] Morita**
I would like the bill, please...
**[19:41] Akemi**
Huh...?
**[19:43] Basue**
Did he just...
**[19:46] Basue and Akemi**
decide that it was now time to back out?!
**[19:48] Kosame**
If someone awkwardly hassles you,
it's only natural to feel that way...
**[19:58] Morita**
Kosame-chan's hospitality, huh...
**[20:01] Akemi**
Yup, I'm sure there are
going to be more days like this.
**[20:04] Basue**
With that said, Kosame-chan,
you did really good today.
**[20:09] Kosame**
Really?
**[20:11] Basue**
You were able to carry a conversation
for that long with shy Morita-chan here.
**[20:15] Basue**
You'll be just fine.
**[20:17] Morita**
I'm satisfied too,
knowing I was able to help out.
**[20:20] Akemi**
Oh, but Kosame-chan, please be careful.
**[20:24] Akemi**
Morita will become more bothersome
the more you see him.
**[20:27] Morita**
Am I like the middle boss that always
comes out in a series or something?
**[20:32] Akemi**
Why do you always try to be the character
who might be popular someday?
**[20:35] Morita**
At first you might think,
"I really don't like this character."
**[20:37] Morita**
But it's the trope where you
start liking them after a while.
**[20:38] Kosame**
Mama.
**[20:39] Basue**
What's up?
**[20:40] Akemi {background}**
I would really like to know
**[20:41] Kosame**
Akemi-san and Morita-san
are a perfect match, aren't they?
**[20:41] Akemi {background}**
just how you could even think that
you would be such a character?
**[20:46] Morita**
Kosame-chan, you understand!
**[20:46] Akemi**
Kosame-chan, what are you talking about?!
**[20:48] Akemi**
Saying something like that
at a snack bar is taboo!
**[20:51] Akemi**
And even if we weren't at a snack bar,
and even if you were the perfect little miss idol,
**[20:55] Akemi**
I would never let you say something like that about me and Morita!
**[21:00] Morita**
Do you have something against idols?!
**[21:03] Kosame**
Ow...
**[21:04] Akemi**
Here! As a punishment, you have to sing a song!
**[21:08] Kosame**
Oh man... I don't know
any old songs. I'm young.
**[21:14] Akemi**
Slyly stating just how young you are, I see...
**[21:17] Basue**
It could be anything.
**[21:19] Basue**
Usually, there are no rules at a snack bar
as to what song you have to sing.
**[21:24] Kosame**
Even if it's like a rap song in crazy English?
**[21:27] Basue**
That's my specialty.
**[21:30] Kosame**
Oh, I see...
**[21:33] [SONG] Caption**
Reserved
***SIGN*** Friends
**[21:33] Akemi**
Hey, you do know a song.
**[21:38] Kosame**
My mom likes this song.
**[21:41] Akemi**
Your mom, huh...
**[21:44] Kosame**
Yeah, since I'm young.
**[21:46] Akemi**
A not-so-sly comment stating how young you are.
**[21:49] Akemi**
I'm still pretty young too, you know?!
**[21:53] Akemi**
I learn about these songs at work!
**[21:55] Morita**
Shh! No one said you weren't young, okay?
**[22:01] Kosame**
* The day I kissed him,*
* I couldn't even look Mom in the face.*
**[22:13] Kosame**
* Collecting coins from a pocket,*
* one by one, we counted our dreams.*
**[22:26] Kosame**
*See there? That was our secret hideout.*
**[22:34] Kosame**
*A secret memory. Oh!*
**[22:38] Kosame**
*When did we fall apart? Oh friends!*
**[22:44] Kosame**
* On days we hung our heads,*
* we stared at one another.*
**[22:50] Kosame**
*When we locked our fingers, Oh friends!*
**[22:56] Kosame**
*I felt like time stopped.*
**[23:05] Kosame**
Did I sing it right?
**[23:08] Akemi**
You did good!
**[23:10] Morita**
Yeah, it was good!
**[23:12] Kosame**
Really?
**[23:14] Kosame**
I'm really happy to hear that
from a professional.
**[23:17] Morita and Akemi**
Huh?
**[23:18] Kosame**
Because you said you write songs.
**[23:21] Akemi**
Is this girl really an idiot?
**[23:25] Akemi**
Kosame-chan, what did you learn from school?
**[23:29] Kosame**
I learned everything important
from games and not school.
**[23:34] Morita**
What?
**[23:34] Akemi**
Not good...
**[23:36] Basue**
Well sure, we are only
getting weird customers recently.
**[23:41] Akemi**
And of course, your perception
of the world would fall apart.
**[23:43] Basue**
Of course, you'd feel as if time had stopped.
**[23:47] Morita**
You don't have to forcefully
match it to the lyrics, you know?
# E9 - Release Yourself / Bad, Bad Whiskey / Can't Get Any Harder
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/G7PU41NM1/release-yourself--bad-bad-whiskey--cant-get-any-harder)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:21] Hero**
Normal attack, buffed by multiple
attack power enhancement spells!
**[00:33] Holy Sword**
Well done, Hero...
**[00:35] Holy Sword**
You have done well defeating
the Guardian of the Holy Sword...
**[00:39] Hero**
This is the Holy Sword...
**[00:42] Hero**
The legendary Holy Sword...
**[00:45] Hero**
The holy sword of legend?
**[00:47] Holy Sword**
Dear Hero...
**[00:48] Hero**
Squa... Eni...?
**[00:51] Holy Sword**
Before you receive thy sword,
answer my question...
**[00:57] Holy Sword**
What is true strength to you?
**[01:02] Hero**
True strength...?
**[01:06] Hero**
It's case by case... I'd say it depends
on the time and situation.
**[01:10] Holy Sword**
It is unfortunate, but it seems you are
not ready to receive thy sword yet.
**[01:15] Holy Sword**
True strength...
**[01:18] Holy Sword**
When you've found the answer,
come once again to this place...
**[01:24] Hero**
True... strength...
**[01:29] Hero**
What is that?
**[01:30] Akemi**
If you have to ask that
at a run-down snack bar,
**[01:33] Akemi**
it's not something you'd ever understand...
**[01:42] [SONG] Sign**
Snack Basue
**[01:47] [SONG] Sign**
Snack Basue
***SIGN*** (You're thinking too much)
**[03:09] Yamada**
Um... Who is... he?
**[03:12] Akemi**
The Hero.
**[03:14] Yamada**
Hero...
**[03:16] Akemi**
Speaking of which,
**[03:16] Akemi**
it's bothersome to have the hero come here
on a regular basis, you know...
**[03:20] Hero**
Then why is there a save point set up here?
**[03:23] Akemi**
What?! The heck is that?!
**[03:25] Akemi**
What kind of garbage would this thing
even be considered,
**[03:26] Akemi**
according to the city's waste classifications?!
**[03:27] Hero**
And isn't she the old hag fortune teller
who gives you hints for the adventure?
**[03:33] Akemi**
True. She does frequently give advice
on the adventure known as life, but...
**[03:38] Basue**
In my case, I only search
for the words you want to hear
**[03:44] Basue**
and encourage you to pursue them, is all...
**[03:47] Akemi**
Nice joke!
**[03:49] Akemi**
That Holy Sword, was it?
**[03:52] Akemi**
Wouldn't it have been better
to just ignore it and take the sword anyway?
**[03:55] Akemi**
You know, maybe only those who can steal it
by force are worthy of its power?
**[04:01] Hero**
It's not good to say something a cynical
junior high school brat would say.
**[04:05] Akemi**
If you're going to say something
as sensible as that,
**[04:07] Akemi**
could you at least go by our dress code
and wear something from this world?
**[04:10] Hero**
Then what is true strength to you,
junior hostess?
**[04:14] Akemi**
True strength to me?
**[04:19] Akemi**
Money.
**[04:22] Junior high school brat**
Yeah, life is all about the money.
**[04:24] Adult Junior high school brat**
It's not just about the money!
I'm going to find my dream job!
**[04:27] Middle-aged Junior high school brat**
Money... Money... Money... Money!
**[04:30] Hero**
Are you the junior high school brat who
thinks he knows what the real world is about?
**[04:32] Akemi**
I know it sounds like something
a junior high school brat would say,
**[04:36] Akemi**
but I stepped out into the real world
and found out it really is all about the money!
**[04:39] Akemi**
I don't know what true strength is...
**[04:43] Akemi**
What do you think, old hag fortune teller?
**[04:45] Basue**
The answer that lies
within this crystal ball says...
**[04:49] Basue**
true strength is...
**[04:52] Basue**
love!
**[04:53] Akemi**
That's the answer of a junior high school brat
who grew up with parents who loved him.
**[04:57] Yamada**
Besides, don't you think
true strength is something
**[05:00] Yamada**
only a junior high school brat would think about?
**[05:03] Akemi**
I know, right? No matter how you say it,
finding the answer to true strength
**[05:07] Akemi**
just has that junior
high school brat vibe to it...
**[05:09] Hero**
And pondering it is making me feel stupid,
so please stop.
**[05:12] Akemi**
Well, I think money is stronger
than love, so...
**[05:17] Basue**
Huh? Is that so?
**[05:19] Akemi**
Because life really is all about the money!
**[05:22] Akemi**
These words are widely
acknowledged by so many people!
**[05:25] Akemi**
If you have money, you can buy anything!
**[05:27] Akemi**
Love is... only a fleeting thing
compared to money!
**[05:31] Basue**
Negative!
**[05:33] Basue**
Love is!
**[05:34] Basue**
Calling it a "fleeting thing"
is nothing but an excuse!
**[05:37] Basue**
Love is!
**[05:38] Basue**
Very precious!
**[05:40] Basue**
If it's true love, there is no way
it would lose to money!
**[05:45] Basue**
A rich life without love is...
**[05:48] Basue**
Know that it is empty!
**[05:50] Akemi**
If you're going to shake up capitalism
with those words, Mama,
**[05:51] Basue {background}**
Love... Love...
**[05:54] Akemi**
then prepare to be met
with complete resistance!
**[05:56] Basue**
Besides,
**[05:58] Basue**
Akemi-chan, you're still in debt
because of your previous man,
**[06:04] Basue**
which means you chose love over money.
Wouldn't that make love the winner?
**[06:10] Akemi**
In a way, it sounds like I bought
love with money,
**[06:13] Akemi**
but I've completely lost... my will... to fight.
**[06:17] Hero**
Then we're agreeing that true strength is love.
**[06:20] Yamada**
Ah, wait a minute, please.
**[06:22] Hero**
Yes?
**[06:24] Yamada**
If you say it in a manner that gives away
that you got the answer from someone else,
**[06:29] Yamada**
don't you think the Holy Sword
will refuse that answer
**[06:32] Yamada**
since it's not straight from your heart?
**[06:35] Hero**
Are you saying people who act as if they've
accomplished something themselves,
**[06:38] Hero**
but really looked it up in wiki walkthrough
guides or watched videos of it, should shove it?
**[06:42] Basue**
Don't bash us with an example
that wouldn't even exist in your world.
**[06:48] Yamada**
In all honesty, I don't even think the person
asking understands what true strength is.
**[06:54] Yamada**
Instead of answering it straight,
why don't you try to keep it vague.
**[06:58] Yamada**
That way it kind of sounds more convincing.
**[07:01] Hero**
For example?
**[07:03] Yamada**
Let's see...
**[07:06] Yamada**
Something like...
the strength to overcome oneself?
**[07:10] Hero**
The strength... to overcome oneself?
**[07:22] Hero**
Die.
**[07:23] Hero**
Myself.
**[07:26] Hero**
Suicide?
**[07:28] Yamada**
It's not always about putting
your life on the line, you know!
**[07:31] Basue**
Still, in a way, they're related...
**[07:35] Basue**
It's the power to overcome
the pain and fear of death.
**[07:39] Basue**
To overcome oneself means
to control your own mind.
**[07:44] Akemi**
Is it like a "I really want these clothes,
but I only have enough for food this month...
**[07:48] Akemi**
Oh! Just buy it anyway!" sort of way?
**[07:50] Yamada**
You're not controlling it at all!
**[07:52] Basue**
Still, in a way, they're related...
**[07:55] Yamada**
How?!
**[07:59] Akemi**
Poop.
**[08:00] Basue**
Yes, that too, in a way, is related...
**[08:03] Yamada**
That's just about having a bowel movement!
**[08:05] Yamada**
Please stop making irresponsible remarks!
**[08:08] Basue**
Negative!
**[08:09] Basue**
To overcome oneself
means thinking, "Oh, this is bad,"
**[08:13] Basue**
and still being able to overcome that obstacle!
**[08:15] Basue**
Which means!
**[08:17] Basue**
It's the strength to be able to
plop poop according to one's own will.
**[08:21] Yamada**
Wha...
**[08:22] Akemi**
Mama... I know I was wrong to say poop
in the first place, but that's just wrong.
**[08:29] Yamada and Akemi**
Don't force it!
**[08:32] Hero**
It's no good... I feel like I'm going to
lose some part of my humanity...
**[08:36] Basue**
That's what it means to overcome one's
humanity.
**[08:41] Akemi**
You're the devil, Mama, for trying to
intentionally make him plop poop!
**[08:45] Basue**
There's no need to plop poop now...
**[08:48] Basue**
However, if needed, it's true strength
to be able to plop poop.
**[08:54] Yamada**
When would you need to plop poop on command?
**[08:58] Akemi**
Besides, don't you think
you wouldn't need to seek true strength
**[09:01] Akemi**
if you already know how to plop poop?
**[09:03] Basue**
But it's the Holy Sword
you get by plopping poop.
**[09:07] Akemi**
Yeah, I don't think so.
**[09:09] Basue**
Wouldn't you need that Holy Sword
to beat the last boss?
**[09:15] Hero**
No...
**[09:23] Last Boss**
This is... my second transformation!
**[09:28] Last Boss**
Hero... Your fate ends he—!
**[09:32] Hero**
Normal attack, buffed by multiple
attack power enhancement spells!
**[09:38] Hero**
I was able to defeat him
without the Holy Sword.
**[09:44] Yamada**
What?
**[09:46] Basue**
You... defeated him?
**[09:49] Akemi**
Past tense?
**[09:51] Hero**
Yep.
**[09:53] Akemi**
What? If you already defeated
the last boss, then
**[09:56] Akemi**
you didn't need true strength
or the Holy Sword?
**[09:59] Hero**
No. Since I managed to defeat the ultimate
side boss, the Guardian of the Holy Sword,
**[10:04] Hero**
I want the ultimate weapon,
the Holy Sword, as well.
**[10:07] Yamada**
A completionist, huh.
**[10:09] Basue**
Being able to plop poop at will is,
in a way, completionist as well.
**[10:14] Yamada**
I don't think so.
**[10:16] Akemi**
Hey...
**[10:19] Akemi**
Isn't the ultimate sword unnecessary,
if you already defeated the ultimate boss?!
***SIGN*** (The me who can't get drunk)
**[10:41] Akemi**
Since we have free time, I guess
we could go organize the keep bottles.
**[10:45] Kosame**
Keep... bottles?
**[10:48] Akemi**
Kosame-chan, why don't you
know about keep bottles
**[10:52] Akemi**
when you've been working here since episode 3?
**[10:55] Kosame**
I'm sorry...
**[10:57] Akemi**
Well, it's all right.
**[10:58] Akemi**
I'll just explain it for everyone here
who doesn't know.
**[11:02] Kosame**
Who are you talking to?
**[11:05] Akemi**
A keep bottle is a system where the customer
**[11:07] Akemi**
can buy a whole bottle
and leave it at the bar to be kept.
**[11:13] Akemi**
It's a better deal than
ordering drinks one at a time.
**[11:16] Kosame**
Oh, I see. Then, is there also a keep
bottle for patrons like Tatsu-ni?
**[11:23] Akemi**
Tatsu-ni keeps the expensive bottles while
ordering cheap all-you-can-drink booze.
**[11:29] Kosame**
Why is that?
**[11:30] Akemi**
I have no idea. He's such a weirdo.
**[11:33] Akemi**
Our keep bottles have
a shelf life of about half a year.
**[11:37] Akemi**
After that...
**[11:39] Akemi**
We take responsibility to dispose of them!
**[11:45] Akemi**
Here, have some free booze!
**[11:46] Akemi**
On top of that, we're at work,
so we're getting paid to drink free booze!
**[11:50] Kosame**
Akemi-san.
**[11:51] Akemi**
What?
**[11:52] Kosame**
I was thinking...
**[11:55] Akemi**
Yeah?
**[11:58] Kosame**
Is booze... delicious?
**[12:00] Akemi**
What a childish question.
**[12:02] Akemi**
If you're asking me whether
booze is delicious, well...
**[12:08] Akemi**
Well...
**[12:12] Akemi**
*Oh...? Now that you mention it...*
**[12:15] Akemi**
* Why am I gratefully*
* drinking this stank water?*
**[12:20] Kosame**
I know it's a bit late, but it seems
everyone is drinking just to get drunk
**[12:24] Kosame**
and doesn't actually think
it tastes delicious, you know?
**[12:27] Akemi**
To add to that lateness, why *did*
you decide to work here, Kosame-chan?
***SIGN*** Snack Basue
**[12:35] Hero**
Snack Basue.
***SIGN*** Snack Basue
***SIGN*** (Don't make me wait)
**[12:50] Morita**
Hey, Akemi-chan.
**[12:53] Morita**
Don't you think something's
different about me today?
**[12:57] Akemi**
Wake up!
**[12:59] Morita**
I'm not talking in my sleep.
**[13:01] Morita**
Come on... Take a closer look...
**[13:05] Akemi**
Ugh, I feel like I'm getting sick...
**[13:08] Morita**
That's a horrible thing to say. Seriously...
**[13:11] Morita**
Well, that's also why I can bombard you
with my love without hesitation, after all.
**[13:16] Morita**
If I bombarded an ordinary girl with my love,
I'd feel bad for them.
**[13:21] Akemi**
Such casual darkness...
**[13:26] Tatsu-ni**
Even if you look at me,
I still don't know the answer.
**[13:30] Akemi**
Is it because you're old?
**[13:31] Tatsu-ni**
If that's the case, then the same goes
for you, Akemi-chan, if you can't answer him.
**[13:39] Akemi**
Hmm... Something different.
**[13:43] Akemi**
Now that I'm looking...
does your fur look nicer?
**[13:46] Morita**
That sounds like you're looking at me
like I'm some sort of animal!
**[13:49] Akemi**
Then what is it, for crying out loud?
**[13:53] Morita**
You can't tell?
**[13:54] Akemi**
No.
**[13:56] Morita**
Then I'll tell you...
**[13:59] Morita**
Just now...
**[14:01] Morita**
I'm quitting jerking off!
**[14:05] Morita**
Well, hold on you two...
**[14:08] Morita**
I think it'll be a story worth listening to.
**[14:11] Morita**
If you think it's bad,
I won't mind you throwing a towel at me—
**[14:16] Morita**
Swift and fierce, I see...
**[14:20] Morita**
Seriously, quitting is amazing, I tell you!
**[14:23] Akemi**
Isn't this nonsense supposed to stop
after I throw a towel?!
**[14:27] Akemi**
Geez, why did you even think about
doing something like that?
**[14:32] Morita**
That's because... if I stop jerking off,
**[14:35] Morita**
the book said my body and soul
will become lighter.
**[14:38] Akemi**
You say book, but isn't it just an ero-manga?
**[14:42] Morita**
How did you know?!
**[14:44] Akemi**
Your choice of reading material
tends to be predictable.
**[14:48] Akemi**
But I suppose you're doing a good job
not jerking off, considering it's you, Morita?
**[14:57] Morita**
Right?
**[14:59] Morita**
For now, I'm limiting it to
once every three days!
**[15:02] Akemi**
That's still way too much!
**[15:04] Morita**
No, not at all. I haven't been
this patient since that school trip.
**[15:08] Akemi**
Seeing how you couldn't control
yourself for that four-day, three-night trip...
**[15:12] Morita**
For that school trip, I somehow managed to
overcome it by jerking off in the closet.
**[15:14] Morita {background}**
Slap! Slap! Slap!
**[15:17] Akemi**
We already heard about you tainting
**[15:19] Akemi**
the sleeping area for one of
Japan's favorite characters!
**[15:23] Akemi**
Just as I thought, you can't
call that quitting, Morita.
**[15:27] Morita**
Akemi-chan, what's important is that you
don't restrain yourself and continue on.
**[15:33] Morita**
Even smokers take it one step at a time, right?
**[15:36] Morita**
You gotta "beat yourself"
in order to persevere!
**[15:39] Akemi**
Beat yourself? Stop trying
to sneak in perverse words!
**[15:44] Tatsu-ni**
But Morita-chan, you hate
sticking with things
**[15:47] Tatsu-ni**
just as much as Akemi-chan does. Why all this?
**[15:51] Morita**
I was thinking, this is the year
I need to do something and...
**[15:55] Tatsu-ni**
Yeah.
**[15:57] Morita**
Do you know what hypnosis audio is?
**[15:59] Tatsu-ni**
Hypnosis audio?
**[16:01] Morita**
It's the thing where you get
hypnotized in a lewd manner
**[16:03] Morita**
by listening to an erotic voice
and it makes you feel good.
**[16:05] Morita**
And so I got hard, thinking that I could get
the release without touching myself, but—
**[16:09] Morita**
I'm going to die if you throw
a drenched towel at me, you know!
**[16:12] Tatsu-ni**
A second one!
**[16:13] Morita**
Don't you have a soul?!
**[16:19] Morita**
And so that's why I'm
trying to quit jerking off.
**[16:23] Akemi**
I still have no idea what you're talking about,
**[16:27] Akemi**
but is quitting masturbation that effective?
**[16:30] Akemi**
Are you sure it's not just some bullshit?
**[16:32] Morita**
Then how do you describe my state now?
**[16:36] Akemi**
Sheesh, but you're still jerking off...
**[16:38] Morita**
But gradually, from now on,
**[16:41] Morita**
the longer I don't have these desires,
the more results there'll be...
**[16:45] Morita**
From once every three days, to every four days...
**[16:49] Morita**
Then onto one week, one month...
**[16:53] Morita**
One month isn't a dream!
**[16:55] Morita**
The new me can do it!
**[16:57] Morita**
I can do this!
**[16:58] Morita**
I can do it! I can do it! I can do it!
**[17:01] Akemi**
Could you please stop hypnotizing
yourself while we're talking here?!
**[17:04] Akemi**
It's creeping me out!
**[17:05] Akemi**
And? Is your goal to not do it at all?
**[17:12] Morita**
Huh?
**[17:16] Morita**
I haven't thought about the end result...
**[17:19] Akemi**
Make sure you have a vision.
**[17:22] Morita**
But, you know...
**[17:25] Morita**
If there was an end,
**[17:26] Morita**
it might be when I get a girlfriend
from the results of not jerking off?
**[17:30] Akemi**
Wait, why would you get
a girlfriend by not jerking off?
**[17:35] Morita**
You can become handsome
by not jerking off, you know.
**[17:38] Akemi**
Bring me that ero-manga. I'm going to burn it.
**[17:41] Morita**
All my ero-manga are digitized,
so you can't burn them.
**[17:46] Akemi {background}**
Then I'm going to delete the data, so bring me
your cell phone and laptop and accounts...
**[17:49] Tatsu-ni**
* Morita-chan, you can't become*
* a handsome man just by quitting...*
**[17:50] Morita {background}**
Why do you need to do all that?!
**[17:55] Tatsu-ni**
* Besides, you don't have to quit jerking off,*
* the desire just decreases naturally as you age.*
**[18:01] Akemi**
Tatsu-ni, what are you
pensively smiling about?
**[18:05] Akemi**
Besides, even if you were able to
become a handsome man by quitting,
**[18:11] Akemi**
if you were to start up again
and reverted back to your old Morita self,
**[18:13] Akemi**
wouldn't that be scary?
**[18:15] Woman**
Ugh, ugly!
**[18:17] Morita**
Talk about a horrifying sight...
**[18:20] Morita**
But I heard if you continue to not jerk off,
all women start looking beautiful too...
**[18:26] Morita**
So then, afterward, I would be like
"Huh? Now that I look at her..."
**[18:30] Morita in bed**
Ugh, ugly.
**[18:32] Morita**
So it'd be both of us.
**[18:34] Akemi**
Are you sure you want that
after you've held off for so long?
**[18:36] Akemi**
Even if you did quit jerking off,
Morita is still Morita, after all...
**[18:40] Akemi**
I've heard that if you restrain yourself
too much you can get sick, so...
**[18:44] Akemi**
Isn't it better to just get that post-nut clarity
**[18:46] Akemi**
and relax after you've
jerked off a bunch of times?
**[18:49] Tatsu-ni**
*Yeah, that's right. There's no difference...*
**[18:52] Tatsu-ni**
* Besides, the number of times you do it*
* goes down as you age anyway.*
**[18:57] Akemi**
Tatsu-ni, what are you pensively smiling about?
**[19:01] Akemi**
Well... if you're gaining confidence by not
jerking off, then I suppose it's a good thing?
**[19:08] Guy not jerking off**
I haven't masturbated for six months now...
**[19:11] Guy not jerking off**
You're all monkeys when compared to me!
**[19:14] Guy not jerking off**
I'm the only human!
**[19:18] Akemi**
Maybe not so much...
**[19:20] Akemi**
Hey, why don't you try something else?
**[19:23] Akemi**
If you want to build confidence,
**[19:25] Akemi**
why don't you lose
your virginity to a prostitute?
**[19:28] Morita**
What if I go to a prostitute and get
hooked on it, though?
**[19:31] Akemi**
That's what you're worried about?
**[19:34] Morita**
That's the reason
why I decided to quit jerking off!
**[19:38] Morita**
When you get addicted to jerking off...
**[19:41] Morita**
it's a terrible waste of time and money!
**[19:47] Morita**
The hours you spend looking
for a good resource.
**[19:49] Morita**
The few thousand yen you've spent
on adult videos just because they were on sale!
**[19:54] Morita**
The ten thousands of thousands of yen you
spend on gadgets that you got into.
**[19:57] Morita**
Depending on the situation,
it could be a few hundred thousand yen.
**[20:01] Morita**
Don't you think the world is
overflowing with too much porn?
**[20:05] Akemi**
And suddenly you start sounding like
the old-school PTA board members.
**[20:09] Akemi**
Even so, it's not good to go to extremes.
**[20:13] Akemi**
It all comes down to maintaining
a good balance. That's what's important.
**[20:17] Morita**
Just like the Force.
**[20:20] Akemi**
And how is your time and money now that
**[20:23] Akemi**
you've been compromising
by doing it once every three days?
**[20:27] Morita**
Uhh...
**[20:32] Morita**
I have a little too much time and money!
**[20:34] Akemi**
Then go on and jerk away!
**[20:36] Morita**
All right!
**[20:45] Morita**
I'm going to use the bathroom a bit.
**[20:47] Tatsu-ni**
What?
**[20:49] Morita**
What do you mean what, huh?
**[20:59] Morita**
Hm? What's wrong?
**[21:03] Tatsu-ni**
Ah, no. I'm sure
it can't be... But Morita-chan...
**[21:09] Tatsu-ni**
You didn't jerk off in the bathroom, right?
**[21:11] Morita**
Of course I didn't!
**[21:13] Tatsu-ni**
Phew, I'm glad to hear that...
**[21:15] Morita**
Even I have common sense, geez.
**[21:20] Akemi**
But I wouldn't want to be
the one to go in next.
**[21:24] Morita**
Why not?!
**[21:26] Tatsu-ni**
Don't you think it'll be okay after a while?
**[21:29] Akemi**
Yeah, we should sing a song
until the smell settles down.
**[21:34] Akemi**
Here, Morita.
**[21:35] Morita**
Like I said, I didn't jerk off!
**[21:38] Morita**
And didn't I say I'm not going to sing?
**[21:41] Tatsu-ni**
But I heard you're a pretty
good singer. I want to hear it too.
**[21:46] Morita**
Even so... I'm not into
singing someone else's song...
**[21:50] Tatsu-ni**
I think it's pretty normal to sing other
people's songs when you do karaoke.
**[21:56] Akemi**
It just means there aren't many
songs Morita wants to sing.
**[22:00] Akemi**
Here, how about this one?
**[22:03] Morita**
Hmm... Yeah, I could sing this one.
**[22:05] Akemi**
All right!
**[22:07] [SONG] Caption**
Reserved
***SIGN*** The Distant Starry Sky
***SIGN*** Key Setting
***SIGN*** Key Setting
**[22:18] Tatsu-ni**
Oh, you're taking it seriously.
**[22:20] Morita**
I just hate it when I can't sing it properly!
**[22:25] Tatsu-ni**
Just as a FYI, 500 miles is like going
from Chitose Airport to Sendai.
**[22:31] Akemi**
Oh, it seems surprisingly close.
**[22:34] Morita**
Stop inserting random facts, will ya?
**[22:39] Morita**
The fierce wind is now dancing within my heart.
**[22:45] Morita**
Was saying "Goodbye" my one-time mistake?
**[22:52] Morita**
Even if we're 500 miles apart,
**[22:58] Morita**
when the night falls,
our hearts yearn for each other again.
**[23:04] Morita**
The distance under the starry sky.
**[23:11] Morita**
Burn up! Love's resistance!
**[23:17] Morita**
Overcome the night between us,
**[23:24] Morita**
and once again, leap into my arms!
**[23:29] Morita**
Baby, come back!
**[23:35] Morita**
Even if we're far apart, me and Akemi-chan
**[23:38] Morita**
will also yearn for each other's
hearts, you know.
**[23:39] Akemi**
Go jerk off in the bathroom again!
**[23:42] Morita**
I'm telling you, I didn't jerk off
in the bathroom!
**[23:44] Tatsu-ni**
Then exactly where and
when did you jerk off, huh?
**[23:47] Morita**
Three days ago, at my house.
**[23:49] Akemi**
Oh, he's totally going to jerk off
as soon as he gets home today.
# E10 - Friend To Friend / Wednesday Night / Only Sixteen
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/G9DUEMV50/friend-to-friend--wednesday-night--only-sixteen)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:06] Azuma**
Have you...
**[00:08] Azuma**
recently made a new friend?
**[00:11] Morita**
New friend?
**[00:13] Morita**
Not just this year,
but I haven't made one in a while.
**[00:16] Azuma**
There were plenty of chances
during our school years,
**[00:20] Azuma**
but since we've become adults,
don't you find it hard to make new friends?
**[00:25] Morita**
I had a hard time even during my school years.
**[00:29] Morita**
Didn't I just say, not just this year,
but I haven't made one in a while?
**[00:32] Azuma**
"A while" was longer than I anticipated...
**[00:36] Azuma**
Even so... It's hard to make friends,
but easy to lose them...
**[00:41] Azuma**
The number of acquaintances that you
lose contact with keeps increasing...
**[00:44] Azuma**
and the number of friends decreases
year after year, don't you agree?
**[00:47] Morita**
Oh, really?
**[00:49] Morita**
I only have a few friends
so I wouldn't know but...
**[00:55] Azuma**
I see.
**[00:56] Akemi**
You just gave up because you didn't get
the response you were expecting, didn't you?
**[01:08] [SONG] Sign**
Snack Basue
**[01:12] [SONG] Sign**
Snack Basue
***SIGN*** (Please be my friend?)
**[02:35] Azuma**
I'm afraid I might step
on a landmine if I inquire any further...
**[02:39] Morita**
You know, you could ask me
anything you want. I don't mind.
**[02:43] Morita**
You could ask me if I get aroused
with my right nipple more than my left.
**[02:47] Morita**
I'll answer anything.
**[02:48] Morita**
Eureka.
***SIGN*** Eureka
**[02:49] Morita**
Eureka.
***SIGN*** Eureka
**[02:51] Akemi**
Shut it, landmine!
**[02:52] Akemi**
By the way, where did you want
the conversation to go?
**[02:56] Azuma**
Well, of course.
**[02:59] Azuma**
I wanted to educate you
about the content of this book.
***SIGN*** The Douglas Hamada Method
***SIGN*** How to make 100 friends
after you've become an adult
**[03:02] Akemi**
Oh, here he goes again.
**[03:03] Azuma**
The "Douglas Hamada Method,
**[03:04] Azuma**
How to make 100 friends
after you've become an adult" book!
**[03:07] Akemi**
You know... I've been thinking
about this for a while now,
**[03:09] Akemi**
but just who is this Douglas Hamada?
**[03:11] Azuma**
According to this book, in order for adults
to make friends, you first need money—
**[03:15] Morita**
Hold on a second.
**[03:17] Morita**
You've been going on about making friends,
but do you really need friends?
**[03:22] Azuma**
Huh?
**[03:23] Morita**
Isn't it enough to just have one best friend?
**[03:26] Azuma**
Isn't it better to have lots of friends?
**[03:29] Morita**
Think about it carefully...
**[03:32] Morita**
When you have more friends,
it means you have more friends of friends,
***SIGN*** Friend
***SIGN*** Friend
**[03:37] Morita**
and they're the least trustworthy
people in the world!
**[03:39] Akemi**
His distrust of humans is at its peak...
**[03:42] Azuma**
Couldn't you just be friends
with your friend's friend, too?
**[03:46] Morita**
That way of thinking is how you get scammed.
**[03:49] Morita**
Being wary of friend of a friend is the same as
being wary of a relative you don't know
**[03:54] Morita**
showing up after you win a big lottery ticket.
**[03:57] Akemi**
You are a lonely man...
**[03:58] Morita**
What, Akemi-chan? Do you
prefer having lots of friends?
**[04:03] Akemi**
It's not about having more,
**[04:05] Akemi**
but I think it's better to have
three groups with three friends in each.
**[04:10] Akemi**
I think it's good to have a few friends,
**[04:13] Akemi**
but I feel like you become too dependent
when you only have one best friend.
**[04:18] Akemi**
That's why it's better to have three in a group
in case there's a fight, so one can intervene.
**[04:22] Akemi**
On top of that, it's best to prepare
three groups to divide the risk.
**[04:26] Morita**
You're the one who's lonelier,
having calculated friendships like that.
**[04:31] Morita**
Besides, you can't control
the number of friends you make.
**[04:37] Morita**
A friendship is when you find yourself
hanging out with them, you know?
**[04:40] Morita**
It's not about making more or less.
**[04:43] Morita**
The friends you have now are your
best friends, don't you think?
**[04:47] Akemi**
He's saying something good, but...
**[04:50] Azuma**
He doesn't have a lot of friends...
**[04:52] Morita**
Am I only allowed to say shitty things
if I don't have a lot of friends?
**[04:56] Morita**
Well, I understand when they say people
with only a few friends are like that...
**[05:00] Morita**
I'm aware of that myself...
**[05:03] Morita**
But people who have too many friends
are just as bad, so let's hang them for it!
**[05:07] Azuma**
That's a horrible thing to say.
**[05:09] Akemi**
That's what's always expected
from people with only a few friends.
**[05:13] Azuma**
Besides, how many friends are considered a lot?
**[05:20] Morita**
Everyone has their own way to determine
whether someone is a friend or not, but...
**[05:24] Morita**
I think anyone with 30 friends
or more is usually a scam artist!
**[05:28] Akemi**
What a controversial statement!
**[05:32] Akemi**
If you loosened up the criteria
of who's a friend,
**[05:35] Akemi**
I'd say I may or may not
have over 30 friends...
**[05:37] Morita**
I thought it was a pretty good
number to criticize people
**[05:41] Morita**
who count mere acquaintances as friends.
**[05:44] Akemi**
How would you determine if someone
only has a few friends?
**[05:49] Morita**
Definitely anyone who has zero,
**[05:51] Morita**
but anyone who could confidently say
just one is probably included, too.
**[05:54] Akemi**
But, you know...
**[05:56] Akemi**
Tatsu-ni and Yamada and that person there...
**[05:59] Azuma**
That person...
**[06:01] Akemi**
Even just among our patrons, I'd say you have
a pretty good number of friends, Morita.
**[06:06] Morita**
Huh?
**[06:08] Morita and Azuma**
Are people you know at the snack bar your friends?
**[06:11] Akemi**
Huh?
**[06:13] Akemi**
Even though you've seen each other
plenty of times and spoken to each other,
**[06:16] Akemi**
you're not friends?
**[06:17] Morita**
How should I put it...
**[06:19] Morita**
The distance between us is just right.
**[06:21] Azuma**
Yeah...
**[06:22] Azuma**
This distance is very comfortable, so as
adults, we have a hard time making actual friends.
**[06:29] Akemi**
No...
**[06:30] Akemi**
I'd say you guys are close enough
to be considered drinking buddies.
**[06:33] Morita and Azuma**
There's a difference between
drinking buddies and friends.
**[06:36] Akemi**
You guys just synchronized,
but you're not friends?
**[06:40] Azuma**
Then, Akemi-chan, would you consider
your junior, Kosame-chan, a friend?
**[06:44] Akemi**
Oh...
**[06:45] Akemi**
We get along, but it's only for work,
so it might be hard to call her my friend...
**[06:50] Azuma**
That's right. It's surprisingly difficult
to establish a friendship...
**[06:56] Azuma**
For example, would you consider a classmate
**[06:58] Azuma**
you often played with at school,
but not after school, a friend?
**[07:02] Akemi**
Yeah, I would.
**[07:04] Akemi**
I had a friend who lived far away
in the opposite direction
**[07:07] Akemi**
so we weren't able to hang out.
**[07:09] Morita and Azuma**
Then we might be friends...
**[07:11] Akemi**
Are you stupid?
**[07:14] Akemi**
If you asked me,
you guys totally seem like friends...
**[07:19] Akemi**
You guys are grossing me out
with your sudden realization...
**[07:23] Akemi**
Hmm, then where does that put me?
**[07:27] Akemi**
If it's a relationship between an employee
and a customer, I suppose we're not?
**[07:31] Morita**
I see you as a woman.
**[07:33] Akemi**
We are not talking about that.
**[07:35] Morita**
I see you!
**[07:37] Akemi**
You're grossing me out by taking this too far!
**[07:41] Akemi**
Hmm, well, let's start out as friends, okay?
**[07:46] Morita**
I refuse!
**[07:46] Akemi**
Why?!
**[07:47] Akemi**
You just went from customer to friend?
That's one step forward, no?
**[07:52] Morita**
I already know...
**[07:54] Morita**
I once thought that becoming friends
was the official route to true love,
**[07:57] Morita**
but it turned out to be a dead end!
**[07:59] Morita**
I end my turn as a customer!
**[08:02] Morita**
I'll take my chance on my next turn!
**[08:04] Akemi**
You should definitely take my friendship.
***SIGN*** (How about a night like this?)
**[08:17] Kosame**
Uh... mm...
**[08:20] Kosame**
Mama... What in the world is going on?
**[08:23] Basue**
If this keeps up, I won't have any
screen time, so I gotta do something.
**[08:29] Akemi**
Good! That's a really good idea!
**[08:31] Fujiyan**
No, Sensei, that's not good.
**[08:34] Ureshi**
No, no, Sensei, even so.
**[08:36] Fujiyan**
No, no, no, there's a customer here.
**[08:38] Ureshi**
What?
**[08:38] Kosame**
Akemi-san, you think that new customer
is someone who's in a teaching profession?
**[08:38] Fujiyan {background}**
Just because it's right in front of you,
doesn't mean you should eat all the karaage.
**[08:42] Ureshi {background}**
I didn't eat it.
**[08:43] Fujiyan {background}**
No, you ate it, Sensei.
**[08:44] Kosame**
He's being called Sensei and all...
**[08:44] Ureshi {background}**
Were you watching carefully?
**[08:45] Fujiyan {background}**
Yes, yes, I was watching.
**[08:46] Ureshi {background}**
Then how many did I eat?
**[08:46] Akemi**
It would be awful if there was
someone in the teaching profession
**[08:48] Fujiyan {background}**
That had to have been six.
You certainly eat a lot for your age.
**[08:48] Akemi**
with that kind of attitude.
**[08:50] Akemi**
They're probably from
the entertainment business.
**[08:52] Kosame**
She just naturally thinks anyone from
the entertainment business is awful...
**[08:52] Ureshi**
Hey, you can't just...
**[08:54] Fujiyan**
Hey, shochu mixed with water.
**[08:57] Kosame**
Oh, right away.
**[08:59] Ureshi**
That's why I'm telling you. It's good
when the taste doesn't change and...
**[09:02] Fujiyan**
Yeah! The sense of security I get knowing that
**[09:04] Fujiyan**
it's going to be the same no matter when I go.
**[09:06] Fujiyan**
Don't you ladies think so too?
**[09:08] Kosame**
Is it like... an unchanging traditional taste?
**[09:12] Fujiyan**
Yes! That's exactly it.
**[09:15] Akemi**
Hm... Even so.
**[09:18] Fujiyan**
What?
**[09:19] Akemi**
There are many times
when they say the same taste,
**[09:21] Akemi**
when it really has changed, don't you think?
**[09:24] Akemi**
Realistically, you can't reproduce
the exact same thing forever.
**[09:29] Fujiyan**
You think so?
**[09:30] Akemi**
Yeah, I think so.
**[09:32] Akemi**
Even customers, when they get older,
**[09:34] Akemi**
may get depressed from
the slightest harsh words
**[09:37] Akemi**
and then decide to go off on a journey,
**[09:39] Akemi**
and are unnecessarily particular about
how their coffee or tea is made, and—
**[09:41] Fujiyan**
Hey, why do you know about
the current events in our private lives?
**[09:44] Ureshi**
Seriously.
**[09:44] Akemi**
Either way, it's important to change with time.
**[09:49] Fujiyan**
Even so, right? There's this expectation
placed on us to not change and...
**[09:54] Basue**
In the end...
**[09:56] Basue**
It's important to keep fooling
people into thinking
**[10:00] Basue**
that nothing's changed
and to keep on living your life.
**[10:03] Ureshi**
Yes! Mama, you said it!
**[10:07] Kosame**
I'm surprised you knew that was Mama.
**[10:10] Basue**
Well...
**[10:11] Basue**
One way is to be true to yourself
**[10:13] Basue**
and stick with it while you wait
for the times to catch up.
**[10:20] Akemi**
Oh, that's some intense headbanging,
like your neck's about to break!
**[10:23] Akemi**
I think if we leave it,
it'll die down on its own.
**[10:27] Ureshi**
Well, we'll keep rolling with it
until it dies out!
**[10:30] Fujiyan**
Well, how should I put it...
Even if we get disqualified
**[10:32] Fujiyan**
we should just keep running till the end!
**[10:34] Ureshi**
Yes, you're right. We won't know until we try.
**[10:36] Fujiyan**
Yes, that's right.
**[10:37] Ureshi**
Just go with the flow.
**[10:38] Kosame**
I'm not so sure...
if that's how it should be as a human...
**[10:42] Akemi**
Kosame-chan, so close!
**[10:44] Kosame**
Huh?
**[10:44] Akemi**
It's okay. If you don't touch upon it
you won't get scolded for it either, so.
***SIGN*** Snack Basue
**[10:49] Fujiyan and Ureshi**
Snack Basue.
***SIGN*** (It must be nice being young)
**[11:02] Akemi**
What's wrong, Tatsu-ni?
**[11:04] Akemi**
You're sighing deeply, as if smoke
is coming out of a run-down robot.
**[11:08] Tatsu-ni**
Your example is spot on...
**[11:10] Akemi**
Like the smoke from an extinguished candle...
**[11:13] Tatsu-ni**
What?
**[11:14] Akemi**
Like a humidifier...
**[11:16] Tatsu-ni**
Your examples are getting sloppier
the more you continue.
**[11:20] Tatsu-ni**
Nah... I haven't had an appetite lately...
**[11:23] Akemi**
Do you want to eat an appetizer?
**[11:25] Tatsu-ni**
Oh, thanks. I think I could manage
to eat an appetize—
**[11:29] Tatsu-ni**
What?! An appetizer?!
**[11:31] Tatsu-ni**
Isn't this the first time this snack bar anime
has actually served an appetizer?!
**[11:35] Yamada**
In the original manga there are chapters
where nobody even brings out a glass.
**[11:40] Akemi**
We want you to be able to enjoy delicious
food once in a while, you know, Tatsu-ni.
**[11:44] Tatsu-ni**
At the very least, please serve
the appetizers on a regular basis!
**[11:47] Akemi**
Or rather, I think they just
didn't depict it until now.
**[11:50] Akemi**
So we'll just make it so that there
were appetizers from the start.
**[11:52] Tatsu-ni**
The butterfly effect of changing
the world is dangerous!
**[11:55] Akemi**
Or maybe fix it when it comes out on disc?
**[11:58] Tatsu-ni**
That's a trick often used in anime, but...
**[12:02] Tatsu-ni**
But, thanks.
**[12:03] Tatsu-ni**
An American hotdog, huh...
**[12:05] Tatsu-ni**
It's a bit heavy for an appetizer, but...
**[12:08] Akemi**
No, it's fried butter.
**[12:10] Tatsu-ni**
Are you trying to kill me?
**[12:11] Basue**
You skewer the butter with a stick...
**[12:13] Basue**
add batter to it...
**[12:15] Basue**
fry it in oil...
**[12:16] Basue**
And it's all done!
**[12:18] Yamada**
Cooking Mama!
**[12:19] Yamada**
Please don't serve that American devil's
food at this run-down snack bar!
**[12:24] Tatsu-ni**
If an old man like me, who gets heartburn
from the way ribs are grilled, ate that,
**[12:27] Tatsu-ni**
I'd be resting in peace!
**[12:30] Akemi**
Don't you know, delicious things
are usually bad for your health?
**[12:35] Tatsu-ni**
Yeah, but most things aren't
THAT bad for your health!
**[12:38] Akemi**
Yeah?
**[12:43] Akemi**
I feel like I'm one of those energy-absorbing
enemies,
**[12:46] Akemi**
but I just took a hit with more energy
than I can absorb!
**[12:49] Tatsu-ni**
It doesn't sound like you're talking
about food!
**[12:52] Yamada**
Makes you feel heavy, doesn't it?
**[12:54] Tatsu-ni**
No, it's not just the fried butter
that I can't eat. Seriously...
**[12:58] Akemi**
He said he doesn't have an appetite...
**[13:01] Akemi**
Well, all that's left is the desire to sleep.
**[13:03] Yamada**
Are you assuming that his
sexual desire has dried out?!
**[13:08] Tatsu-ni**
No, my desire for sleep is also questionable.
**[13:11] Yamada and Akemi**
Well, you're doomed then.
**[13:13] Akemi**
Come to think of it, way back when
you said you had a hard time sleeping.
**[13:17] Akemi**
Are you okay?
**[13:19] Tatsu-ni**
It may be the end for me.
**[13:22] Akemi**
Don't you have any regrets in this world?
**[13:23] Akemi**
Even if you have to force yourself,
**[13:25] Akemi**
you should eat something that'll help
your stamina. Like Iekei Ramen.
**[13:29] Tatsu-ni**
Considering this old man's condition,
it'll be my last supper, you know?
**[13:32] Tatsu-ni**
If you asked me whether
I'm eating, I am eating.
**[13:35] Tatsu-ni**
It's more like I don't have an appetite,
or more so there's nothing I want to eat...
**[13:39] Akemi**
Why don't you try out a new place
that you've been curious about?
**[13:42] Tatsu-ni**
That's what's so hard about it.
**[13:44] Tatsu-ni**
Even if I find a store that I like,
**[13:46] Tatsu-ni**
it never makes it into
the "regular meal" rotation.
**[13:50] Tatsu-ni**
It ends up becoming
one of my ace cards... Right?
**[13:53] Yamada**
You say "right?" But what do you mean
it becomes one of your ace cards?
**[13:57] Tatsu-ni**
Well, that's when you're
eating your regular meals
**[14:00] Tatsu-ni**
and you suddenly remember your ace card.
**[14:01] Tatsu-ni**
Like "Ahhhhh, oh man,
I forgot about that store!"
**[14:04] Akemi**
Play your ace card, for crying out loud!
**[14:06] Akemi**
You're like the Daifugo, who loses
while holding onto a 2 in his hand!
**[14:09] Akemi**
Do you have to be so intense
about every regular meal you eat?
**[14:15] Akemi**
I just settle
for granola every morning.
**[14:18] Tatsu-ni**
I like something sour for breakfast.
**[14:22] Akemi**
You're missing the point!
**[14:24] Akemi**
That's the answer someone gives when there's
no point in continuing a conversation.
**[14:27] Akemi**
You're single, so your Engel's law
percentage can be really high!
**[14:30] Akemi**
Indulge more! You like sashimi, don't you?
**[14:33] Tatsu-ni**
Instead of eating sashimi,
**[14:35] Tatsu-ni**
recently I like watching the youngsters
eat lots and lots of food for me,
**[14:38] Tatsu-ni**
since I can't eat much anymore.
**[14:41] Youngster**
This is so good! I can eat more!
**[14:43] Akemi**
The old man's teachings!
**[14:45] Tatsu-ni**
If only I could include these youngsters,
**[14:48] Tatsu-ni**
who are eating lots of food for me,
in my everyday meals...
**[14:51] Yamada**
I could hang with you on
the weekends, but not regularly!
**[14:54] Akemi**
Hmm, I bet you could eat it if it was
something really delicious, Tatsu-ni.
**[15:00] Tatsu-ni**
What's really delicious?
**[15:02] Akemi**
Fried butter...
**[15:03] Tatsu-ni**
Are you trying to kill me?
**[15:05] Akemi**
Delicious things are usually
bad for your health.
**[15:09] Tatsu-ni**
That's not right!
**[15:10] Tatsu-ni**
It's because your body craves something healthy
**[15:13] Tatsu-ni**
that people can really understand
how delicious something is!
**[15:16] Tatsu-ni**
I eat rice porridge everyday
because it tastes so delicious!
**[15:19] Akemi**
Your internal organs
are like that of a grandpa's.
**[15:21] Tatsu-ni**
No, no, rice porridge is really good!
It's good for digestion too.
**[15:25] Yamada**
Oh, I heard that even if it's something
that's good for digestion,
**[15:28] Yamada**
it's not a good idea to eat it everyday...
**[15:32] Yamada**
Besides, your nutrition
would be unbalanced too.
**[15:34] Tatsu-ni**
What?!
**[15:36] Tatsu-ni**
All I have left is to die then...
**[15:39] Akemi**
Try to pursue those
healthy habits more, will ya?
**[15:41] Yamada**
But it's important that everyday
meals are convenient.
**[15:45] Yamada**
Us single men are prone to going to the
convenience store or resorting to fast food,
**[15:49] Yamada**
which doesn't give us much
variety in what we eat.
**[15:52] Akemi**
Then why don't you cook?
**[15:54] Tatsu-ni**
That's the most difficult part.
I think rice porridge is all I can make.
**[15:58] Akemi**
We're done talking about rice porridge.
**[16:01] Yamada**
Even if it's just one meal we could
change in our regular meal schedule,
**[16:04] Yamada**
it would make a big difference.
**[16:09] Akemi**
There is one...
**[16:10] Akemi**
An affordable self-cooking meal that
can be included in your everyday meals!
**[16:14] Tatsu-ni**
What?!
**[16:15] Akemi**
It's...
**[16:16] Akemi**
Okonomiyaki!
**[16:18] Akemi**
Just mix flour, eggs, and cabbage, and fry it!
**[16:21] Akemi**
It's easy and delicious no matter who makes it,
**[16:23] Akemi**
and on top of that it's a complete meal
that lets you eat lots of cabbage!
**[16:27] Cooking Mama**
It's Easy Tasty Cabegin.
**[16:30] Tatsu-ni**
Okonomiyaki...
**[16:32] Yamada**
I don't usually eat it,
so it didn't cross my mind...
**[16:36] Akemi**
Is this... my cue to go make it?
**[16:39] Tatsu-ni**
It seems something crossed her mind...
**[16:40] Yamada**
Um... no, it's not like we...
**[16:42] Akemi**
I'll be right out with it, so watch some
porn videos or something and wait, okay?
**[16:52] Yamada**
It seems the interview is still go—
**[16:54] Akemi**
Sorry to keep you waiting!
**[16:59] Yamada and Tatsu-ni**
The presentation...
**[17:01] Tatsu-ni**
Akemi-chan, if it's a failed meal,
**[17:03] Tatsu-ni**
can you make it more obvious by adding
more purple to it or something?
**[17:06] Akemi**
It's not a failed meal!
**[17:08] Akemi**
When you make it in a frying pan, you can't
flip it like you would on a hot plate, right?
**[17:12] Akemi**
That's why it turned out this way.
**[17:14] Yamada**
What? When I make pancakes
in a frying pan that doesn't happen...
**[17:19] Yamada**
How about moving it
to a plate first, then flipping it?
**[17:22] Tatsu-ni**
Besides, what's the difference between
a pancake and a hotcake anyway?
**[17:26] Akemi**
Your old man questions are annoying!
**[17:28] Akemi**
But even so, if you add
sauce and mayonnaise... see...
**[17:32] Yamada**
She's trying to make it appealing
not only visually, but through sound too.
**[17:36] Tatsu-ni**
All right! If it has beef in it, I'll eat it...
**[17:39] Tatsu-ni**
If it has pork, then Yama-chan eats it!
**[17:41] Yamada**
Hey! That's not fair! Okonomiyaki
usually has pork in it, doesn't it?!
**[17:45] Akemi**
What... It doesn't have any meat, guys...
**[17:48] Tatsu-ni**
A poor man's meal?
**[17:49] Yamada**
An incomplete meal, lacking in protein!
**[17:53] Akemi**
I... I used eggs...
**[17:56] Akemi**
And I even added the red ginger that
I forgot to use on my gyudon takeout, see?
**[18:01] Tatsu-ni**
Akemi-chan...
**[18:03] Akemi**
What are those pitying eyes?
**[18:07] Akemi**
Come on... Just eat it...
**[18:10] Akemi**
Come on... Come on... Come on...
**[18:13] Tatsu-ni**
I think I understand the feeling
of someone who can't eat a rice ball,
**[18:16] Tatsu-ni**
made by a stranger's hands...
**[18:18] Yamada**
Oh, yeah. I see...
**[18:22] Akemi**
You know... It is a meal made by a girl...
**[18:26] Yamada**
Oh...
**[18:27] Akemi**
That reaction was... a bit brutal...
**[18:31] Tatsu-ni**
I'll break the chain of sadness
right now, so don't cry!
**[18:41] Tatsu-ni**
Oh? It's actually pretty good...
**[18:44] Yamada**
Oh, you're right.
**[18:46] Tatsu-ni**
If it's just mixing it and frying it,
this might work, huh...
**[18:49] Yamada**
And the okonomiyaki flour
seems like it'll last a long time too.
**[18:52] Akemi**
Right?!
**[18:55] Tatsu-ni**
But...
**[18:58] Tatsu-ni**
It's not something that can be offered
to people like this, right?
**[19:01] Akemi**
Hey! He's trying to make
the youngster eat most of it!
**[19:10] Tatsu-ni**
There's still some left...
**[19:12] Yamada**
Yeah, there's still some left...
**[19:15] Tatsu-ni**
I know I should eat everything
that was given to me, but...
**[19:19] Yamada**
Besides, okonomiyaki
is a full meal, after all...
**[19:23] Yamada**
It's hard to think of it as an appetizer.
**[19:26] Tatsu-ni**
Akemi-chan... I'm really sorry,
but I can't eat all—
***SIGN*** Mountain Wasabi
Miso Ramen
**[19:30] Tatsu-ni**
Eat the okonomiyaki, dammit!
**[19:32] Akemi**
But I'm not craving okonomiyaki.
**[19:35] Yamada**
We're not craving okonomiyaki either.
**[19:38] Akemi**
I'm not going to eat it,
but you guys eat it all, okay?
**[19:41] Yamada**
Your level of unreasonableness
is out of this world.
**[19:44] Tatsu-ni**
Hmm... What to do...
**[19:47] Yamada**
If I could take it home...
**[19:49] Akemi**
You say that, but you're going to throw it
away on the way home, aren't you?
**[19:52] Yamada**
Is that how you see us?
**[19:55] Tatsu-ni**
That's right.
**[19:57] Tatsu-ni**
Why don't we call Morita-chan and tell him
there's a meal that Akemi-chan made.
**[20:02] Akemi**
What? Is it so bad that you have
to pawn it off to someone else?
**[20:05] Tatsu-ni**
No, that's not it. It's a home-made
meal that you made,
**[20:08] Tatsu-ni**
so we want to give some to Morita-chan too.
**[20:12] Yamada**
I'm surprised you guys know
each other's phone numbers.
**[20:15] Akemi**
It definitely happens at snack bars for
patrons to suddenly exchange phone numbers.
**[20:21] Morita**
*Oh, hey. What's up, Tatsu-ni?*
**[20:23] Tatsu-ni**
Not much. You want to come by
the bar right now, Morita-chan?
**[20:26] Morita**
Is something going on?
**[20:28] Tatsu-ni**
Akemi-chan made okonomiyaki and we were
wondering if you wanted some, Morita-chan?
**[20:33] Morita**
Okonomiyaki, huh...
I'm really picky with okonomiyaki.
**[20:37] Morita**
Just mentioning okonomiyaki,
**[20:39] Morita**
there's always a debate whether we're talking
about the Osaka-style or the Hiroshima-style,
**[20:42] Morita**
but since I'm a man from Hokkaido,
I can handle either one.
**[20:45] Morita**
But if we're talking about the toppings,
**[20:46] Morita**
I think simple is best with pork
as the standard,
***SIGN*** Morita-chan
**[20:47] Morita**
so I won't have any othe—
**[20:48] Akemi**
All right then. Let's sing a song.
**[20:50] Tatsu-ni**
A-All right...
**[20:52] Akemi**
Let's change the atmosphere a bit.
**[20:55] Akemi**
Hmm... how about a duet?
**[20:57] Tatsu-ni**
Nice.
**[20:59] Tatsu-ni**
But if that's the case...
**[21:00] Yamada**
Huh?
**[21:01] Tatsu-ni**
I want to hear Yama-chan's duet.
**[21:04] Yamada**
He's trying to make the youngsters sing.
**[21:06] Akemi**
Can you sing duets, Yamada?
**[21:09] Yamada**
I'm pretty sure I can, but...
**[21:12] Yamada**
even if I could sing it,
I don't know if you can, Akemi-san.
**[21:16] Akemi**
Huh? Who do you think I am?
I'm Snack Basue's junior hostess.
**[21:21] Akemi**
Come on, what can you sing? Name it.
**[21:24] Yamada**
How about something... like this?
**[21:27] Akemi**
I could totally do that one.
**[21:29] Yamada**
Then... this one.
**[21:31] Tatsu-ni**
What did you put—
**[21:31] [SONG] Caption**
Reserved
***SIGN*** Close Your Eyes and Come On Over
**[21:32] Tatsu-ni**
This song?!
**[21:34] Yamada**
Is there a problem?
**[21:37] Tatsu-ni**
Uh, no, I don't have any problems
with the Barbee Boys,
**[21:40] Tatsu-ni**
but you're pretty naughty, Yama-chan,
for singing this song at a snack bar.
**[21:44] Yamada**
What? Then I'll change it to a different song.
**[21:47] Akemi**
No, it already started.
**[21:59] Akemi**
*I'll forget the guy, who's only kind to me*
**[22:05] Akemi**
* and spend the night only*
* dreaming of those intense moments.*
**[22:12] Yamada**
*Just from hesitation, I waste my time.*
**[22:19] Yamada**
* If you're looking at me*
* after you compare me to him then...*
**[22:25] Akemi**
* The swayful bargaining*
* and the shameful drunk nights.*
**[22:33] Yamada**
*You don't have to pose like that today.*
**[22:41] Yamada**
* Close your eyes and come on over.*
* Because my face is different from his.*
**[22:47] Tatsu-ni**
*Close your eyes...*
**[22:47] Tatsu-ni**
* Come on. It's better than the usual,*
* with hot sweat and heavy panting.*
**[22:54] Yamada and Akemi**
*Close your eyes and come on over.*
**[22:57] Yamada**
*My habits may be different from his.*
**[23:00] Tatsu-ni**
*Close your eyes, uh, uh...*
**[23:01] Yamada and Akemi**
*But instead of the fingers you're used to*
**[23:04] Yamada**
*I know what turns you on.*
**[23:11] Akemi**
Oh, did you come to eat the okonomiyaki?
**[23:14] Morita**
Nevermind that!
**[23:16] Morita**
Why are Akemi-chan and Yama-chan
singing a naughty song together?!
**[23:21] Yamada**
Uh... Um...
**[23:23] Morita**
Indecent!
**[23:24] Morita**
I can't believe you two!
**[23:26] Akemi**
You're the pervert one
for thinking that much about a song!
**[23:29] Morita**
You're an eye booger!
**[23:30] Akemi**
No! You're a nose booger!
**[23:32] Morita**
What the heck does that even mean?
**[23:34] Tatsu-ni**
These kinds of songs are the real
pleasure of a snack bar.
**[23:37] Akemi**
Well, don't just wrap
things up nicely, Tatsu-ni.
**[23:40] Akemi**
Here, Morita. Have some okonomiyaki and go.
**[23:43] Morita**
What is this?! Oh, it's that thing!
**[23:45] Akemi**
What do you mean it's Object X
from another planet?
**[23:47] Morita**
I didn't go that far.
# E11 - Under The Cherry Moon / Adult Education / Solitude
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GX9UQW8W1/under-the-cherry-moon--adult-education--solitude)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:07] Kazama**
Hey, hey, Morita-kun.
**[00:12] Kazama**
I'm sayin' hey, man.
**[00:16] Kazama**
Come on, listen to me, Morita-kun.
**[00:20] Kazama**
What's going on?
**[00:22] Kazama**
Morita-kun, hey!
**[00:25] Morita**
The heck? What is it?
**[00:28] Kazama**
I wanted to ask...
**[00:31] Kazama**
does your pee pee fit in the toilet paper roll?
**[00:34] Morita**
Seriously, what the heck?!
***SIGN*** (As long as you love me)
**[02:08] Kazama**
Actually, the toilet paper roll has this
exquisite thickness to it, don't ya think?
**[02:14] Morita**
How should I know?! Go sleep with your wife!
**[02:16] Morita**
Kazama-kun, seriously,
you're so indecent. I don't like it.
**[02:22] Morita**
I came here to have
a more serious conversation...
**[02:27] Morita**
So, now let's start our regular meeting
about how to lose my virginity.
**[02:31] Akemi**
Your conversation is on the same level,
so just be friends with him already.
**[02:35] Kazama**
What, Morita-kun, are you still going on
about being a virgin and whatnot?
**[02:39] Kazama**
Aren't you letting it get to you
a bit too much?
**[02:41] Kazama**
It's not like being a virgin is
a bad thing or anything, ya know?
**[02:45] Morita**
Huh?
**[02:48] Morita**
I'll tell you one thing...
**[02:50] Morita**
Being a virgin...
**[02:53] Morita**
is evil!
**[02:55] Akemi**
So you're calling it bad, huh...
**[02:57] Morita**
Well? I don't think anyone on your side
would understand, I'm sure.
**[03:04] Akemi**
You know... I understand
how much you don't like Kazama,
**[03:07] Akemi**
but do you really need to be
such a dick about it?
**[03:11] Morita**
Akemi-chan, you don't get it, do you?
**[03:14] Morita**
I... no, us virgins are the only ones
who truly understand ourselves!
**[03:22] Akemi**
He's being taken over by the virgin hive mind.
**[03:26] Kazama**
But you know, Morita-kun...
**[03:29] Kazama**
You've been a virgin up until now,
**[03:31] Kazama**
so I don't think you're going to have
any problems going forward either.
**[03:34] Morita**
Kazama-kun...
**[03:37] Morita**
If you dare to argue
using a weak statement like that,
**[03:41] Morita**
don't complain when I rip it to shreds.
**[03:44] Akemi**
He sounds like a virgin encyclopedia.
**[03:47] Morita**
A virgin is a person who has never had
a sexual relationship with the opposite sex...
**[03:53] Morita**
and that in itself is not an evil thing.
**[03:56] Morita**
But, you know, if you can't have
a sexual connection,
**[04:00] Morita**
you're considered unable to build
a relationship with the opposite sex.
**[04:05] Morita**
If you can't build a relationship
with half of humanity,
**[04:09] Morita**
you're nothing but static in society!
**[04:11] Akemi**
How can you say something so horrible?!
**[04:14] Akemi**
You're talking about yourself, aren't you?!
**[04:15] Morita**
After all, the words I righteously preached
to a virgin are now biting me in the ass.
**[04:21] Morita**
In that sense, it's a very objective opinion...
**[04:28] Morita**
If there are no objections, then...
**[04:29] Morita**
does that mean I win?
**[04:31] Akemi**
How in the world are you able to declare
victory after what you just said?
**[04:34] Kazama**
You virgins are no good because
you guys build walls around your heart...
**[04:39] Morita**
You see, you're treating virgins
like we're villains!
**[04:42] Morita**
We build that wall because it's necessary!
**[04:45] Morita**
In order to protect ourselves,
we need a thick wall!
**[04:51] Akemi**
You know, I'm not going to discriminate
against you because you're a virgin, Morita...
**[04:56] Akemi**
Because your virginity is actually one of the
least horrible things about you!
**[05:00] Akemi**
You have other parts
that are far more raw and gross!
**[05:04] Akemi**
So stop being defensive by using
virginity as your shield!
**[05:07] Morita**
Aah! Don't take my shield...!
**[05:10] Morita**
Wait, no, take it! Gently...
**[05:17] Akemi**
Besides, putting virginity aside,
**[05:20] Akemi**
there are plenty of married
people who are just as bad.
**[05:23] Kazama**
Yup. Yup.
**[05:24] Akemi**
Huh?
**[05:25] Kazama**
Huh?
**[05:27] Morita**
That's the harshest reality...
**[05:30] Morita**
A guy goes to a restaurant with his family
and treats the staff like shit,
**[05:35] Morita**
but he still has a wife that loves him.
**[05:37] Morita**
I'm far kinder than he is.
**[05:39] Morita**
It hurts that I'm all alone!
**[05:42] Kazama**
What?
**[05:43] Kazama**
It doesn't necessarily mean the wife
loves her husband, you know?
**[05:47] Akemi**
No! That sort of talk is too soon for Morita!
**[05:51] Morita**
Huh?
**[05:51] Kazama**
Huh?
**[05:52] Akemi**
It's okay, Morita. Continue.
**[05:55] Morita**
Once you go out into the real world,
it's not enough to just work hard...
**[05:58] Morita**
Whether you're married or not
affects your career as well.
**[06:02] Morita**
Seriously, virgins are taken so lightly
in this world. We're the suckers.
**[06:06] Akemi**
Yeah... Well, I guess you're still
a virgin if you're only getting sucked.
**[06:11] Morita**
What are you talking about, Akemi-chan?
**[06:13] Akemi**
Hm? About getting sucked.
**[06:16] Morita**
OK, so the same thing.
**[06:17] Akemi**
So, if you don't want
to get sucked,
**[06:21] Akemi**
then just take a strong stance and say,
I'm not interested in getting married.
**[06:25] Akemi**
You know, in a stoic way.
**[06:26] Morita**
There's a difference between not being
able to do it and not doing it...
**[06:29] Morita**
Those that say they don't do it,
when really they don't know how to do it,
**[06:32] Morita**
are the ones who get suckered the most.
**[06:34] Akemi**
Yeah, I bet. Suck. Suck.
**[06:37] Kazama**
Hmm, but if you don't want
to be suckered,
**[06:42] Kazama**
then shouldn't you just be a virgin
who doesn't get suckered?
**[06:46] Kazama**
It doesn't matter whether
you're a virgin or not...
**[06:49] Kazama**
Actually, make girls think the fact
that you're a virgin is a positive!
**[06:53] Kazama**
Be a man with a firm foundation
and broad base, so they can't sucker you!
**[06:59] Akemi**
You can get sucked when you're firm,
but it won't fit if the base is too big.
**[07:03] Kazama**
What are you talking about, Akemi-chan?
**[07:06] Akemi**
About getting sucked, right?
**[07:08] Kazama**
You're right...
**[07:10] Morita**
Yeah...
**[07:12] Morita**
Even if I am a virgin,
if I become a man of all men,
**[07:14] Morita**
who doesn't get suckered...
**[07:17] Morita**
Lick. Lick. Lick.
**[07:18] Akemi**
Stop that tongue motion.
**[07:20] Kazama**
He's licking away.
**[07:22] Kazama**
Lick. Lick. Lick.
**[07:24] Akemi**
You quit it too!
**[07:28] Morita**
Isn't there something wrong with this?!
**[07:30] Akemi**
What's wrong is the motion
of that tongue of yours.
**[07:33] Kazama**
Nothing is wrong, ya?
**[07:35] Kazama**
All is good if you just become a virgin
who doesn't get suckered, right?
**[07:39] Morita**
No... It would be good if I could become
a man who doesn't get suckered, but...
**[07:44] Morita**
But...
**[07:48] Morita**
Instead of becoming that,
isn't it easier to just lose my virginity?!
**[07:52] Akemi**
All right. Then do your best
doing it the easier way!
***SIGN*** (An adult's reason)
**[08:03] Tatsu-ni**
You know, all those movie reboots and remakes...
**[08:06] Tatsu-ni**
I really wish they'd tone it down.
**[08:10] Yamada**
Oh, so you're a purist.
**[08:12] Tatsu-ni**
No, I mean when there's a remake and stuff...
**[08:15] Tatsu-ni**
We start talking about the year
the original movie came out, you know?
**[08:18] Tatsu-ni**
Then I start to think,
what was I doing back then?
**[08:22] Tatsu-ni**
And then I start associating
the two... and I get sad...
**[08:25] Yamada**
It's starting to make me feel sad too.
***SIGN*** The Year 20XX
**[08:28] Tatsu-ni**
As soon as I see the old date,
I feel like the past-me is coming to kill me.
**[08:34] Past Tatsu-ni**
Die, present-me!
**[08:39] Yamada**
Please reboot that sort of life.
**[08:42] Tatsu-ni**
Well, I'd like to win against the past me
**[08:45] Tatsu-ni**
with all the experience
I've gained over the years, but...
**[08:52] Tatsu-ni**
Body-wise, I can't win against youth!
**[08:55] Yamada**
Give it your all, gramps!
**[08:58] Tatsu-ni**
Thankfully, at least I'm winning in money.
**[09:02] Present Tatsu-ni**
Here... this is all I have...
**[09:03] Yamada**
It doesn't look like you're winning...
**[09:09] Tatsu-ni**
I wanted... to be a more proper adult.
**[09:13] Akemi**
But what is a proper adult anyway?
**[09:18] Tatsu-ni**
Well, to be married and have children?
**[09:22] Akemi**
Is that really what it means
to be a proper adult?
**[09:25] Tatsu-ni**
I wouldn't say it's the only thing,
but it's proper, isn't it?
**[09:29] Akemi**
What? Even though he's cheating on his wife?
**[09:32] Tatsu-ni**
Are you accusing all married
people of having affairs?!
**[09:36] Akemi**
What?
**[09:36] Tatsu-ni**
What do you mean, what?
**[09:38] Akemi**
In that sense, Tatsu-ni, you're not married
so there's no way for you to cheat.
**[09:42] Akemi**
Have confidence in yourself.
**[09:44] Yamada**
I feel like the way you consoled him
was like an American joke...
**[09:47] Tatsu-ni**
But isn't that wrong?
**[09:49] Tatsu-ni**
Proper adults do not cheat!
**[09:52] Akemi**
What? Really?
**[09:55] Tatsu-ni**
Well, then can I be forgiven
at least one time...?
**[09:58] Yamada**
Oh, so you're going to take
advantage of it instead, huh...
**[10:01] Tatsu-ni**
We shouldn't have to worry excessively
about how to be a proper adult, you know?
**[10:07] Tatsu-ni**
It seems life doesn't always go
the way you want it to go.
**[10:10] Yamada**
What exactly is a proper adult, anyway?
**[10:15] Tatsu-ni**
Well, that'd be someone
who takes care of their family and...
**[10:18] Tatsu-ni**
has a job they take great pride in and...
**[10:21] Tatsu-ni**
doesn't cause trouble for others.
Something like that?
**[10:24] Akemi**
Even if people appear to be proper,
I wouldn't judge a book by its cover.
**[10:32] Akemi**
Those types of people are usually
the ones who have a dark side...
**[10:36] Akemi**
Like leaving their dirty socks everywhere
or snoring really loudly...
**[10:40] Yamada**
That dark side is certainly
from the spouse's point of view.
**[10:43] Tatsu-ni**
But wouldn't you think proper adults
would be proper in those areas too?
**[10:49] Akemi**
What? Really?
**[10:51] Akemi**
Don't you think the only living thing
without flaws like that would be a chimera?
***SIGN*** Status
***SIGN*** Status
Everything:
***SIGN*** Status
Everything:
Good
**[10:57] Tatsu-ni**
Forget normal, are you saying that
it's not even human?
**[11:00] Akemi**
Did you even want to be
a proper human to begin with?
**[11:05] Tatsu-ni and Yamada**
What?
**[11:06] Akemi**
More so, aren't you thinking
you want to be anything but proper?!
**[11:11] Yamada**
Akemi-san...
**[11:13] Tatsu-ni**
If you say that...
**[11:15] Akemi**
What?! If you had to choose, which is it?
Do you or do you not want to be proper?!
**[11:21] Tatsu-ni**
If you asked me whether I wanted to be
proper or not then I would say...
**[11:26] Tatsu-ni**
I don't want to be proper!
**[11:29] Akemi**
Yay!
**[11:32] Yamada**
Wha...
**[11:33] Tatsu-ni**
I wanna go eat ramen
in the middle of the night!
**[11:37] Akemi**
Yay!
**[11:39] Tatsu-ni**
I wanna use up all my savings!
**[11:43] Akemi**
Yay!
**[11:45] Tatsu-ni**
I wanna put all my savings towards
a guide dog fundraiser or something!
**[11:51] Akemi**
Ya— What?!
**[11:53] Yamada**
Umm... But, you'd be in a lot of trouble
if you did that, so people control themselves.
**[11:59] Yamada**
Doesn't that mean you're being proper,
since you aren't doing that?
**[12:03] Tatsu-ni**
Yeah, come to think of it...
**[12:05] Tatsu-ni**
I want to leave my current job
and go open a children's cafeteria,
**[12:10] Tatsu-ni**
but I can't just go and do that...
**[12:12] Akemi**
If you want to, just go do it!
**[12:14] Tatsu-ni**
If I do what I want to do and
don't consider how it'll affect my life,
**[12:18] Tatsu-ni**
I can't say I'm being a proper adult, you know?
**[12:21] Yamada**
If you consider what you're trying to do,
that's more than enough.
**[12:24] Akemi**
Tatsu-ni, all this about fundraising
and a children's cafeteria,
**[12:29] Akemi**
is that really what you want to do?
**[12:31] Tatsu-ni**
I have pretty destructive desires...
**[12:35] Akemi**
You say destructive, but isn't it more like
the self-sacrifice of a saint?
**[12:39] Akemi**
It may be different from how you see it,
**[12:43] Akemi**
but to my standards, Tatsu-ni,
you're more than a proper adult.
**[12:47] Tatsu-ni**
I see... I was being a proper
adult after all, huh...
**[12:53] Akemi**
But now that you've said it,
something seems off...
**[12:56] Tatsu-ni**
Huh?
**[12:57] Akemi**
Now that you're relieved
about getting the answer,
**[12:59] Akemi**
what usually comes after
self-doubt is arrogance.
**[13:03] Akemi**
Because never in human history has anyone
*said* they're proper and actually *been* proper!
**[13:10] Tatsu-ni**
Then which one am I?
**[13:12] Akemi**
Hmm, if you carefully maintain
your current mindset, then...
**[13:19] Tatsu-ni**
It's hard to keep being a proper adult...
**[13:25] Tatsu-ni**
But what it comes down to is that
everyone has boundless ideals of
**[13:29] Tatsu-ni**
how to be a proper adult.
**[13:31] Tatsu-ni**
Maybe it's almost like someone
saying "I want to be rich," you know?
**[13:35] Akemi**
In other words, in the end...
**[13:39] Akemi and Tatsu-ni**
I want to be rich!
**[13:44] Yamada**
So it really comes down to that, huh...
***SIGN*** Snack Basue
**[13:48] Akemi**
Snack Basue.
***SIGN*** (I don't have a lot of friends)
**[13:58] Akemi**
With role-playing games,
**[14:00] Akemi**
when I stop playing for a while
and then start playing it again,
**[14:05] Akemi**
I never know where I left off.
**[14:07] Basue**
I know! Like, why was I visiting this town
or why is this guy in my party or...
**[14:15] Akemi**
Yep...
**[14:19] Akemi**
That's... how I feel, right now.
**[14:21] Last Boss**
Oh, you see, once I spoke to him,
he was a surprisingly nice and friendly guy.
**[14:27] Hero**
We get along...
**[14:28] Akemi**
No, no, no, is it really okay
for the Hero and the Last Boss,
**[14:30] Akemi**
who continuously fought against
each other in the other world,
**[14:32] Akemi**
to be drinking nicely together
at a run-down snack bar like this?
**[14:36] Akemi**
And you, Last Boss! Don't you feel
remorse for your fallen comrades?!
**[14:43] Basue**
Besides, weren't you defeated by the Hero?
**[14:48] Last Boss**
What? What do you mean, defeated?
**[14:52] Hero**
Oh, that was the other one...
**[14:55] Hero**
I'm on New Game Plus right now.
**[14:59] Akemi**
Is this an ending you can only get
when you do a second playthrough?!
**[15:03] Akemi**
Are you guys even on good enough
terms to drink and reconcile?
**[15:08] Last Boss**
Well... How should I put it...
We were both very edgy in the past...
**[15:12] Akemi**
People who say that are usually
the ones who haven't matured!
**[15:16] Akemi**
I feel like... When you guys
come to your senses tomorrow,
**[15:20] Akemi**
you'll be regretting all this...
**[15:23] Basue**
It's going to be just as awkward as
**[15:25] Basue**
having a one-night stand with
someone you didn't intend to get with.
**[15:29] Akemi**
Yes, that! I feel like this is
going to be that type of night!
**[15:33] Hero**
You mean,
**[15:34] Hero**
like we both used to hate on
each other all the time.
**[15:38] Hero**
Like that kind of thing?
**[15:39] Akemi**
Only if that's how it should have been!
**[15:43] Last Boss**
But seriously, from whether
we put lemon on our karaage
**[15:48] Last Boss**
to which idol group member we like
the best, we have so much in common.
**[15:52] Akemi**
Huh... You're an idol otaku,
even though you're the Last Boss?
**[15:55] Last Boss**
No, I normally can't say that
*because* I am the Last Boss.
**[16:00] Last Boss**
But in a way, that's why I can
talk about it with the Hero.
**[16:03] Hero**
We're both in a good relationship.
**[16:06] Last Boss**
Yeah.
**[16:07] Akemi**
Is this really okay?
**[16:08] Last Boss**
The Hero and the Last Boss...
**[16:11] Last Boss**
Even though we're enemies, we're accepting
each other's differences. Isn't that hot?
**[16:15] Basue**
No, it's lukewarm!
**[16:17] Akemi**
Actually, aren't you both the type who have
a hard time getting along with others?
**[16:22] Akemi**
When people like that
suddenly start getting along,
**[16:25] Akemi**
they tend to split up after
the slightest conflict, you know...
**[16:28] Last Boss**
But, seriously, we totally get along...
**[16:32] Hero**
You said it.
**[16:35] Akemi**
I've seen all types of people
working here, so I know guys...
**[16:41] Akemi**
The peace that the Hero regained
would have been for nothing in the next game.
**[16:46] Last Boss**
What? Does that kind of development
even exist for you to mention it?
**[16:50] Hero**
You said it.
**[16:53] Akemi**
Now that you mention it, maybe not!
**[16:56] Akemi**
Maybe only the sequels that ruined
the previous games are the ones
**[16:59] Akemi**
that left a strong impression on me...
**[17:01] Basue**
Well, that just shows how much
it pisses off the playerbase.
**[17:05] Last Boss**
We don't need to worry about such things.
**[17:09] Last Boss**
With this many common interests,
there's no way we'd fight.
**[17:13] Hero**
You said it.
**[17:15] Akemi**
But, isn't having too much in common
going to be troublesome?
**[17:20] Akemi**
For example, if your taste
in clothing is the same,
**[17:22] Akemi**
then you guys might end up
wearing the same thing.
**[17:25] Last Boss**
We don't care if we wear the same clothes.
**[17:27] Akemi**
You guys are like high school girls.
**[17:29] Last Boss**
Besides, the Hero seems like
**[17:33] Last Boss**
he tends to make his party
wear all the same clothes.
**[17:38] Hero**
You said it.
**[17:39] Akemi**
Hmm, then how about when you go on a group date
**[17:43] Akemi**
and you guys fight over the same type
of girl, wouldn't that be a problem?
**[17:47] Last Boss**
I'll give you half of the world.
**[17:50] Hero**
All right.
**[17:50] Girl**
Seriously, that's hilarious!
**[17:53] Last Boss**
It doesn't bother us.
**[17:55] Hero**
You said it.
**[17:56] Akemi**
Seriously, that's gross!
**[17:59] Akemi**
Common interests... huh...
**[18:02] Akemi**
When I think about it, all my close friends
don't really have the same interests as me...
**[18:08] Akemi**
I think when your interests
are slightly different,
**[18:11] Akemi**
the relationship lasts longer in a way.
**[18:13] Akemi**
Even when you're critiquing a movie,
**[18:15] Akemi**
the conversation doesn't last long
if you both have the same opinion.
**[18:18] Akemi**
When you have slight differences,
**[18:19] Akemi**
you strike up a conversation
and discover new perspectives, you know?
**[18:25] Akemi**
I feel like a good relationship with a friend
**[18:27] Akemi**
is not whether we have
lots of things in common,
**[18:30] Akemi**
but whether there are fewer things
I can't forgive the other person for...
**[18:33] Akemi**
No matter how pleasant the person is,
**[18:35] Akemi**
if you see them pocketing a ton of
sugar packets from the restaurant,
**[18:38] Akemi**
wouldn't you be so embarrassed that you'd
want to keep your distance from that person?
**[18:41] Sugar stick man**
Woo hoo! Thanks a bunch!
**[18:43] Akemi**
Wow, he's the worst.
***SIGN*** You may be charged with theft.
**[18:46] Akemi**
Right?
**[18:47] Last Boss**
We'd each take half of the sugar packets.
**[18:50] Hero**
You said it.
**[18:52] Akemi**
These two never should have met!
**[18:56] Akemi**
It's so embarrassing!
**[18:58] Akemi**
Don't you guys hate people
who are just like you?
**[19:00] Last Boss**
Not at all.
**[19:02] Hero**
You said it.
**[19:04] Last Boss**
But we were the same entity at one point in time.
**[19:07] Last Boss**
In order to bring harmony to this world,
there has to be chaos and order.
**[19:13] Last Boss**
It's as if one soul has been
divided between us.
**[19:16] Last Boss**
That's the kind of strange sensation we feel.
**[19:19] Akemi**
That plot is a bit too good
for sugar-pocketing bastards.
**[19:23] Basue**
By the way, why did you become the Last Boss?
**[19:27] Last Boss**
To put it bluntly,
**[19:29] Last Boss**
I think it's because I lost faith
in humanity and wanted to destroy it.
**[19:32] Basue**
It wasn't something to say so bluntly.
**[19:36] Last Boss**
If I were to give you
an example from your world,
**[19:38] Last Boss**
it would be like the person who despises
people who post crap on social media
**[19:42] Last Boss**
realizing that they're the one looking
for naughty selfies of those people.
**[19:49] Last Boss**
It's that type of despair that makes you
want to just destroy everything.
**[19:53] Akemi**
Please realize that you're giving us
despair by telling us this story.
**[19:57] Last Boss**
Come to think of it now,
it was a mistake made from loneliness...
**[20:01] Akemi**
Yeah, were you able to find
lots of naughty selfies?
**[20:05] Last Boss**
However, now that I have found
a true friend I get along with,
**[20:10] Last Boss**
I no longer have a reason to destroy the world.
**[20:15] Hero**
You said it.
**[20:17] Akemi**
Oh, I see... so as a result, I guess
the Hero really did save the world.
**[20:23] Hero**
You said it.
**[20:28] Akemi**
Hero... Could it be that
**[20:32] Akemi**
you're just agreeing
with everything that he says?
**[20:38] Hero**
Yep, you said it.
**[20:42] Last Boss**
A-Are you...
**[20:45] Last Boss**
seriously saying that?!
**[20:48] Hero**
Seriously.
***SIGN*** Seriously
**[20:49] Last Boss**
He just answered me with a stamp
when I'm being serious!
**[20:56] Last Boss**
After all that, I am alone.
**[20:58] Last Boss**
It seems there was no way of changing
our fate to fight one another!
**[21:07] Last Boss**
Second transformation!
**[21:10] Hero**
Buff with multiple attack power
enhancement spells!
**[21:15] Akemi**
If you're going to fight,
go do it in your world!
**[21:28] Akemi**
Come on! Sing! Sing and make up!
**[21:32] Last Boss**
Squa... Eni...?
**[21:35] Akemi**
I didn't say anything about that!
**[21:37] Akemi**
Come on, Mama, you tell them—
**[21:44] Akemi**
What a convenient time to glitch.
**[21:50] Akemi**
Hey!
**[21:50] [SONG] Caption**
Reserve
***SIGN*** Believe In Your Dream
**[21:54] Akemi**
Uh... I really don't think that's a good idea.
**[21:59] Last Boss**
You don't have a problem with it, right?
**[22:02] Hero**
You said it.
**[22:03] Akemi**
No, it's not okay...
**[22:05] Hero**
Then let's sing together.
**[22:08] Last Boss**
The Hero, the Last Boss,
and even you, young lady!
**[22:11] Akemi**
Stop trying to get us sued!
**[22:14] Akemi**
Also, please at least try to make it
seem like it's from our show!
**[22:18] Hero**
We did it! We finally defeated
the ultimate last boss, but our—
***SIGN*** COMMAND
***SIGN*** T A L K
***SIGN*** S P E L L
***SIGN*** STATUS
***SIGN*** ITEM
***SIGN*** EQUIP
***SIGN*** SEARCH
***SIGN*** Do you want to watch the
next episode of Snack Basue?
**[22:23] Akemi**
You got the theme right, but stop inserting
a preview that I've heard somewhere else!
***SIGN*** Don't watch
***SIGN*** Watch
***SIGN*** Definitely watch
**[22:26] Hero**
*How many towns are we going to pass*
**[22:32] Hero**
*on this road to tomorrow?*
**[22:41] Last Boss**
*Nowhere to go. It's as if I'm lost.*
**[22:47] Last Boss**
*Standing in the crowd... Right now, you're...*
**[22:56] Hero**
*In the past I was too afraid, even to love.*
**[23:04] Last Boss**
*I'm looking for my lost tears.*
**[23:12] Hero**
*Live on believing in your dream.*
**[23:18] Hero**
*That's what you would have screamed out.*
**[23:27] Hero**
*Run to tomorrow*
**[23:30] Hero**
*while holding your broken wings*
**[23:36] Hero and Last Boss**
*close to your heart!*
**[23:42] Last Boss**
Just as I thought,
I feel like it didn't go well!
**[23:45] Akemi**
Yeah, I bet! I really bet it didn't!
**[23:48] Hero**
You said it.
# E12 - The Great Pretender / Let Me Into Your World / Trouble Man
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/G4VUQV4V0/the-great-pretender--let-me-into-your-world--trouble-man)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:04] Morita**
Welcome home, master.
**[00:07] Akemi**
If I just listen to the phrase,
it's a maid cafe,
**[00:10] Akemi**
but when I look,
it feels like a monster is saying it.
**[00:13] Morita**
Oh, Akemi-chan.
**[00:17] Morita**
Uh... um.
**[00:19] Akemi**
This is my friend, Misawa.
**[00:23] Akemi**
She came to see me.
**[00:25] Misawa**
Nice to meet ya!
**[00:28] Morita**
Hi...
**[00:28] Akemi**
Your voice is so quiet. What happened
to your excitement from earlier?
**[00:32] Morita**
Um...
**[00:33] Akemi**
Misawa, this is our regular—
**[00:36] Misawa**
Oh! I can tell from the glasses!
**[00:38] Misawa**
You're Yamada-san, right?
**[00:40] Morita**
N-No... It's Morita...
**[00:41] Misawa**
Come, come, Yamada-san!
**[00:43] Misawa**
Come sit over here!
**[00:45] Morita**
Okay...
**[00:52] Akemi**
I was just telling her what kind
of patrons come here.
**[00:57] Morita**
Oh, that's why she knows.
**[01:00] Morita**
Then... I'm...
**[01:04] Morita**
Yamada.
**[01:05] Akemi**
What?
**[01:14] [SONG] Sign**
Snack Basue
**[01:18] [SONG] Sign**
Snack Basue
***SIGN*** (I'll become who I want to be)
**[02:40] Misawa**
Yamada-san, nice to meet you.
**[02:42] Yamada**
Yes, I'm Yamada.
**[02:44] Yamada**
Very nice to meet you.
**[02:48] Morita**
* She's making a face like*
* "Morita, why are you lying?"*
**[02:52] Morita**
*But you know, it's quite simple.*
**[02:54] Morita**
* If I put it simply,*
* there's the serious Yama-chan,*
**[02:57] Morita**
*and then there's me, the loser virgin.*
**[02:59] Morita**
* I want her to think I'm Yama-chan*
* instead of me!*
**[03:03] Morita**
*I'll become the person I want to be!*
**[03:06] Misawa**
Yamada-san.
**[03:07] Morita**
Yes, I'm Yamada.
**[03:08] Misawa**
Can you handle your booze well, Yamada-san?
**[03:11] Morita**
Yes, I think Yamada handles his booze well.
**[03:14] Akemi**
*Hm? If he keeps this up...*
**[03:17] Akemi**
*This seems fun, so I'm going to play along!*
**[03:19] Akemi**
Okay, Yamada. I'll give you your usual,
one shochu mixed with whiskey!
**[03:23] Morita**
What?
**[03:24] Morita**
Akemi-chan, shochu mixed with whiskey is...
**[03:27] Misawa**
I just heard from Akemi.
**[03:30] Misawa**
Yamada-san, you're good at swallowing
iron balls and spitting them, aren't you?
**[03:34] Morita**
Yes, Yamada is very good at it.
**[03:38] Morita**
* What? Yama-chan is good at*
* swallowing iron balls?*
**[03:42] Misawa**
Wow! I want to see that!
**[03:45] Morita**
* Even if he's good at it, is it a skill you*
* normally request when you first meet someone?*
**[03:51] Morita**
*Especially a skill like swallowing iron balls?*
**[03:53] Akemi**
Quit it, Misawa!
**[03:54] Akemi**
I didn't say anything about Yamada
being good at swallowing iron balls.
**[03:59] Misawa**
Huh? You didn't?
**[04:01] Akemi**
I said, he's so serious that if he practiced
**[04:04] Akemi**
he'd probably be able to do it in three days.
**[04:07] Morita**
*What kind of conversation is that?!*
**[04:08] Misawa**
But Yamada-san just said he was good at it.
**[04:12] Morita**
I-I'm sorry, but...
**[04:15] Morita**
To begin with, I'm not Yamada.
**[04:19] Misawa**
Huh?
**[04:20] Morita**
I'm very sorry.
**[04:22] Misawa**
What? Then... are you the funny
old man, Tatsu-ni, she spoke of?!
**[04:30] Morita**
...Yes. I am.
**[04:31] Akemi**
Why are you lying?!
**[04:33] Misawa**
What, is that a lie?
**[04:35] Morita**
Whether it's a lie is... up to you.
**[04:39] Akemi**
Those are the words a liar would love!
**[04:41] Misawa**
Oh, uhh... Then just... who are you?
**[04:46] Morita**
I'm Yamada.
**[04:47] Akemi**
Why did you think you could
even go back to that one?
**[04:49] Akemi**
If you're going to insist you're Yamada,
then show us by swallowing an iron ball!
**[04:54] Morita**
That, I cannot do.
**[04:55] Morita**
Because I'm Yamada, and I'm not Yamada.
**[04:59] Akemi**
Huh?!
**[05:00] Morita**
I'm Gomura, another entity
who lives inside Yamada's body.
**[05:06] Akemi**
* He made up another personality*
* to escape reality!*
**[05:10] Morita**
Um...
**[05:12] Morita**
Can I still be forgiven if I apologize now?
**[05:16] Akemi**
You finally came to your senses
and realized that
**[05:19] Akemi**
there's nothing beyond reality.
**[05:21] Morita**
But I think you're the one to blame
in the first place, Akemi-chan.
**[05:24] Morita**
You're the one who's been gossiping about us!
**[05:27] Akemi**
It's not as bad as gossiping!
**[05:31] Akemi**
I only said good things about you guys!
**[05:36] Morita**
Really?
**[05:37] Akemi**
I've spoken so highly of you guys that
**[05:41] Akemi**
Misawa's starting to fall for Yamada
just by hearing about him.
**[05:45] Morita**
You're far better at lying than I am, I see.
**[05:49] Morita**
Then I'm fine with being Yamada!
**[05:52] Akemi**
You're Gomura, aren't you?
**[05:53] Morita**
Aw man, if you only spoke highly of us
then I didn't have to fool her.
**[06:00] Akemi**
Even if *I* didn't say it, *you* spoke more
than enough to expose your ugly side.
**[06:05] Morita**
Misawa-san, I think you can figure out
which patron I am by now, can't you?
**[06:13] Misawa**
Oh, I know who you are!
**[06:14] Morita**
Yep.
**[06:15] Misawa**
Director Makoto Shinkai!
**[06:17] Morita**
I'm pretty sure he's never been here before!
**[06:19] Morita**
It's a little odd for me to say this,
but you're pretty weird!
**[06:23] Misawa**
What?
**[06:25] Morita**
But I don't feel as nervous around weirdos,
so you're helping me out!
**[06:29] Misawa**
You're welcome?
**[06:32] Morita**
Well, I don't know what Akemi-chan
said about me, but...
**[06:37] Morita**
I'm Morita!
**[06:38] Morita**
Nice to meet you again.
**[06:43] Misawa**
Morita...
**[06:47] Misawa**
Who's that?!
**[06:48] Morita**
Huh?
**[06:48] Morita**
W-Wait, wait, wait a minute!
**[06:50] Morita**
What do you mean who?!
**[06:52] Morita**
My presence is so big that
if I were on a wanted poster,
**[06:54] Morita**
I'd be the type to get captured right away!
**[06:56] Morita**
Right?!
**[07:03] Morita**
O-Oh...
**[07:06] Morita**
* If she didn't speak badly about anyone*
* and only spoke highly of them,*
**[07:11] Morita**
* there wasn't anything for her*
* to talk about for me...*
**[07:17] Morita**
*Is what I'm guessing?*
***SIGN*** (It's hard to understand)
**[07:27] Akemi**
Hey, Yamada!
**[07:28] Akemi**
Don't ya have any interesting stories to tell?
**[07:31] Yamada**
Interesting stories, huh...
**[07:34] Basue**
Oh, why don't I tell you about
the macaroons I bought recently?
**[07:39] Akemi**
Don't want it.
**[07:41] Akemi**
For example, did you buy anything recently?
**[07:44] Yamada**
Oh, I did. I did buy something.
**[07:46] Akemi**
What? What?
**[07:48] Yamada**
A sous vide cooker.
**[07:50] Tatsu-ni**
Huh? A sous vide cooker?
**[07:52] Yamada**
Oh, you don't know?
**[07:53] Yamada**
It cooks slowly using low heat.
**[07:56] Tatsu-ni**
Oh, that...
**[07:58] Tatsu-ni**
I bought one too!
**[08:00] Yamada**
Oh, really?
**[08:02] Tatsu-ni**
Isn't it nice? The sous vide cooker.
**[08:04] Yamada**
Yes, it is. The sous vide cooker.
**[08:07] Tatsu-ni**
Oh, Morita-chan!
**[08:09] Morita**
Did you mention a sous vide cooker?
**[08:11] Tatsu-ni**
Yeah.
**[08:13] Morita**
I bought one too!
**[08:15] Yamada and Tatsu-ni**
The synchronicity!
**[08:18] Akemi**
Hey... Why is everyone
buying a sous vide cooker?
**[08:22] Akemi**
You guys don't look like
the types to cook at home...
**[08:26] Akemi**
Besides, Morita, you live with your parents.
**[08:29] Morita**
Well...
**[08:31] Akemi**
What? Is the reason why
all the men are buying it...
**[08:34] Akemi**
Is that what you intended on doing?!
**[08:37] Morita**
I live at home!
**[08:39] Akemi**
What, am I wrong?
**[08:41] Tatsu-ni**
Well, you're not close and yet not far from it.
**[08:45] Morita**
What?
**[08:45] Tatsu-ni**
What?
**[08:46] Tatsu-ni**
What?!
**[08:47] Yamada**
What?!
**[08:48] Akemi**
Their unity vanished in an instant.
**[08:52] Tatsu-ni**
No, what I meant was...
**[08:55] Tatsu-ni**
When you say cooking at home,
**[08:58] Tatsu-ni**
people usually think it's to
save money, or to eat healthier.
**[09:02] Tatsu-ni**
But the type of cooking we do with
the sous vide cooker is sort of closer
**[09:05] Tatsu-ni**
to playing with educational
confectionery snacks?
**[09:08] Witch**
The more you sleep, the more you...
**[09:11] Brat**
feel rested!
**[09:13] Akemi**
Educational?!
**[09:15] Tatsu-ni**
Hm, how should I put it?
**[09:18] Morita**
You don't make it because you're hungry, but...
**[09:21] Yamada**
We want to... try out the gadget...
**[09:23] Basue**
You guys understand each other to the point
of mistaking you for fusion bot pilots!
**[09:27] Yamada; Tatsu-ni; and Morita**
A fusion bot isn't as simple as you think!
**[09:30] Basue**
It's complete!
**[09:33] Yamada**
In general, boys love tools that have
a sense of technology behind them.
**[09:39] Akemi**
Like electric cars?
**[09:41] Yamada**
When it comes to that,
I take it more seriously,
**[09:43] Yamada**
like figuring out what the range is,
any major repair issues, and so on, but...
**[09:47] Basue**
Seriously, indeed.
**[09:50] Yamada**
If I were to give an example,
something like power tools.
**[09:52] Morita**
Oh yeah.
**[09:54] Tatsu-ni**
It makes you want to build a shelf
without thinking about where to put it.
**[09:57] Akemi**
You sound like you're going to
make a shelf for that shelf.
**[10:00] Morita**
Pressure washers and
steam cleaners are nice too.
**[10:04] Yamada and Tatsu-ni**
Nice!
**[10:06] Tatsu-ni**
I feel like I'd purposely
dirty my clothes to wash them!
**[10:09] Yamada**
Yeah, just like on the home shopping network.
**[10:12] Seller**
When that happens,
this bad boy will do the trick!
**[10:14] Tatsu-ni and Morita**
Oh, that's just like how they do it!
**[10:16] Tatsu-ni**
Oh, and how about smart plugs?
**[10:19] Yamada**
Oh, yeah! I understand.
**[10:21] Morita**
It's something that you just have to buy
when you see it on those shows.
**[10:24] Tatsu-ni**
Oh, yeah. I get you.
**[10:25] Yamada**
Yeah.
**[10:26] Morita**
Yep, yep.
**[10:28] Akemi**
Are you guys...
**[10:31] Akemi**
getting hard thinking of this stuff?
**[10:32] Yamada**
You have no understanding of a man's heart...
**[10:35] Akemi**
First of all, you guys are talking about
how technology is a man's thing,
**[10:41] Akemi**
but I like the latest home
appliances too, you know!
**[10:47] Akemi**
Huh... What?
**[10:49] Yamada**
Your perspective is a little different to
how a man sees it, Akemi-san.
**[10:53] Yamada**
How should I put it? Yours is more like
you want it because of its convenience.
**[10:55] Akemi**
And what's wrong with that?!
You're creeping me out.
**[10:59] Akemi**
I never would have thought Yamada
would tell me off like that.
**[11:03] Akemi**
You shouldn't hang around these guys.
**[11:05] Akemi**
They're having a bad influence on you!
**[11:06] Basue**
Akemi-chan, those people are
also our patrons, you know.
**[11:11] Akemi**
Then it means we have bad customers.
**[11:12] Tatsu-ni**
I'd say the store is responsible
for having bad customers.
**[11:15] Basue**
Thank you for the harsh feedback!
**[11:19] Morita**
But you know,
**[11:20] Morita**
even when buying a frying pan,
**[11:22] Morita**
women honestly consider
whether it's easy to clean it or not.
**[11:26] Mob woman**
This is so useful!
**[11:28] Morita**
Whereas men tend to care about
the coating process that was used to create it.
**[11:32] Mob man**
This coating is the lost
orichalcon processing technology!
**[11:36] Akemi**
True, I could see how men can get overly
into the special methods being used.
**[11:41] Akemi**
Hm? But men like outdoor equipment
and primitive things too, don't they?
**[11:47] Camper**
I cooked it well!
**[11:50] Akemi**
And fire pits...
**[11:51] Akemi**
Isn't that contradicting
what you said about liking technology?
**[11:57] Yamada**
High-tech things aren't the only technology.
**[12:00] Yamada**
Low-tech things have their own charm as well.
**[12:03] Akemi**
It's like an entertainer,
who claimed to like mature women,
**[12:06] Akemi**
marrying a younger woman instead.
**[12:08] Tatsu-ni**
Men... have this sad side to them that
helplessly seeks things that are efficient.
**[12:13] Tatsu-ni**
However, it's necessary
to enjoy the wasted time in life.
**[12:17] Tatsu-ni**
I think that's why we enjoy tools that
allow us to efficiently waste time.
**[12:22] Tatsu-ni**
It's like when you check your health
using a smart watch,
**[12:26] Tatsu-ni**
even though you don't particularly exercise.
***SIGN*** Death
***SIGN*** Death
**[12:29] Man**
Oh man, my health is looking pretty bad.
**[12:32] Akemi**
Are you sure you guys just
don't know how to use it?
**[12:34] Akemi**
I don't get it.
**[12:36] Basue**
Oh, I think it's like... why an old man
would start beating soba noodles
**[12:40] Basue**
to waste time in an efficient way.
**[12:47] Tatsu-ni**
That's good! I want to beat soba noodles!
**[12:49] Akemi**
More like, you've never
beaten soba noodles before, Tatsu-ni?
**[12:52] Basue**
By the way, what is everyone making
using the sous vide cooker?
**[12:57] Yamada**
Oh, let's see. I mainly make
roast beef and things like that.
**[13:01] Akemi**
What? Isn't it more delicious
when you buy it instead?
**[13:03] Yamada; Tatsu-ni; and Morita**
That's not what we're talking about!
**[13:05] Akemi**
Are you using all these tools just because
you love roast beef that much?
**[13:10] Yamada; Tatsu-ni; and Morita**
We're telling you, that's not it!
**[13:13] Yamada; Tatsu-ni; and Morita**
What we like is the cooking ware
to make the roast beef!
**[13:17] Akemi**
Oh, I just don't get it!
**[13:18] Akemi**
I feel like a mother who's dealing
with her adolescent sons.
**[13:22] Basue**
But I always imagined that using
a sous vide cooker was pretty hard.
**[13:27] Akemi**
Yeah, aren't you afraid of
getting food poisoning?
**[13:30] Yamada**
Yes. That's why I take great caution.
**[13:34] Yamada**
Such as making sure the temperature
is correct to kill the bacteria.
**[13:37] Basue**
Must be tough.
**[13:39] Yamada**
Yeah, it is.
**[13:41] Yamada**
To be frank, it heats up so quickly
that it kills both the bacteria
**[13:44] Yamada**
along with the benefits
of cooking at a low heat.
**[13:46] Basue**
Roast beef is...
**[13:48] Yamada**
Like I said, you have to watch out
for the heating time,
**[13:50] Yamada**
and how to store it after cooking it...
**[13:52] Yamada**
It's quite the hassle.
**[13:57] Yamada**
So... ultimately...
**[14:02] All**
You quickly end up not using it, I bet.
***SIGN*** Snack Basue
**[14:07] Basue**
Snack Basue.
***SIGN*** (Who do you think you are?)
**[14:16] Kazama**
Do I look like a guy...
**[14:19] Kazama**
...with a massive schlong?
**[14:24] Yamada**
Huh?
**[14:25] Kazama**
Oh, I'm not literally talking about its size.
**[14:28] Yamada**
Seriously, what?!
**[14:29] Kazama**
I'm not talking about the actual goods,
more like my presence.
**[14:34] Kazama**
That's what I wanted to ask.
**[14:36] Yamada**
I'm saying, why are you asking me that?
**[14:39] Yamada**
Since you're asking me, I'm sure
you're feeling confident about it, but...
**[14:42] Yamada**
With an attitude like that,
it'd be sad if it were small anyhow...
**[14:46] Yamada**
*Wait... Is he bluffing?*
**[14:48] Yamada**
*Is it a bluff to make it seem bigger?*
**[14:51] Akemi**
What high-level psychological warfare.
**[14:53] Yamada**
Well, I'm sure it's huge.
**[14:59] Kazama**
Then, what do you think
about the actual size of it?
**[15:01] Yamada**
What?! How is that any different
from the earlier question?!
**[15:05] Kazama**
It's completely different, man!
**[15:08] Kazama**
It's as different as the review of
a big hit movie when it's first released,
**[15:12] Kazama**
and a review two weeks later!
**[15:14] Akemi**
I hate how he's even able to come up
with these types of examples so easily.
**[15:20] Kazama**
Come on... Come over here and see for yourself.
**[15:23] Yamada**
Are your morals glitching?
**[15:25] Kazama**
I'm just kidding!
**[15:28] Kazama**
If I did all that and it ended up that I do have
a small cock, we'd all have a good laugh.
**[15:31] Yamada**
I'd be more afraid than
laughing off the situation.
**[15:35] Kazama**
But you know, if someone doesn't check it,
**[15:38] Kazama**
there's no way of telling
if my cock is big or not.
**[15:41] Akemi**
Can you please keep it covered?
**[15:43] Kazama**
How should I put it?
**[15:45] Kazama**
Until it's checked,
there's an equal possibility
**[15:48] Kazama**
that it could be a big cock
or a small cock, you know?
**[15:53] Kazama**
If I were to put it in a clever way,
it'd be like Schrodinger's cock, ya?
***SIGN*** Quantum Fluctuation
**[15:58] Akemi**
Are you so stupid that you don't know
what the word "clever" means?
**[16:02] Kazama**
Between absolute evaluation
and relative evaluation,
**[16:05] Kazama**
I'm sayin' the latter is more important.
**[16:08] Kazama**
If no one acknowledges that I have
a big cock, then I can't either.
**[16:14] Yamada**
That sounds like a *big* statement.
**[16:17] Akemi**
If you wanted to see cocks, then you could see
as many as you want at a bathhouse.
**[16:20] Akemi**
Can't you kind of just tell
how big yours is in comparison?
**[16:24] Kazama**
Even if I go to a bathhouse,
**[16:26] Kazama**
I'd be like, "There's grown men
with their cocks hanging out!"
**[16:28] Kazama**
I'd be so nervous, I wouldn't
be able to focus on that.
**[16:33] Akemi**
Your cock seems small.
**[16:35] Akemi**
Besides that, only men seem to be
concerned with the size of their cocks.
**[16:40] Kazama**
Whaa?!
**[16:41] Yamada**
That is the reaction of a person
whose pride was shattered
**[16:44] Yamada**
after being told their prized
cock was worthless.
**[16:47] Kazama**
You say that, but...
**[16:50] Kazama**
you like big cocks too, don't you, Akemi-chan?
**[16:52] Akemi**
You certainly have a big cock to be
sexually harassing me in this manner.
**[16:57] Akemi**
Hmm...
**[17:01] Akemi**
How much can I talk about it on a TV anime?
**[17:04] Yamada**
After what we've seen in this show,
**[17:06] Yamada**
if they cared about that they never
should've animated the thing.
**[17:09] Akemi**
Anyway!
**[17:11] Akemi**
If I were to talk from a woman's standpoint,
bigger doesn't necessarily mean better!
**[17:16] Kazama**
Then why do we men feel so
concerned with the size of our cocks?
**[17:21] Yamada**
You say it like it's all of us, but...
**[17:25] Yamada**
* No... I guess, technically he's*
* not wrong when it comes to this.*
**[17:30] Kazama**
Are you *really* sure women
aren't concerned about how big a cock is?
**[17:33] Kazama**
Don't the big cocks
always win in ero-manga?!
**[17:36] Ero-manga female**
Oh! He wins! He's bigger
than my boyfriend! Amazing!
**[17:40] Yamada**
There's no credibility in that source!
**[17:42] Akemi**
You've had your brain destroyed!
**[17:44] Kazama**
No, I'm not convinced!
**[17:46] Kazama**
Between a big rhinoceros beetle
and a small one,
**[17:49] Kazama**
no matter how you look at it, don't ya
think the bigger one has more charm?
**[17:54] Akemi**
You really don't understand
a woman's heart, do you?
**[17:58] Akemi**
Besides, girls...
**[18:01] Akemi**
like stag beetles more.
**[18:03] Yamada**
What does that even mean?!
**[18:05] Akemi**
Clearly, a stag beetle is more lethal, right?
**[18:09] Akemi**
That's why girls like stag beetles
more than rhinoceros beetles.
**[18:10] Yamada**
Are you sure that isn't just your opinion
and not girls in general?!
**[18:14] Kazama**
I see...
**[18:15] Kazama**
Girls aren't particularly interested
in the cock size, huh...
**[18:20] Yamada**
Were you convinced by that last one?
**[18:22] Akemi**
I didn't say we weren't interested in it!
**[18:25] Akemi**
What I'm saying is that we don't have
any particular preference
**[18:27] Akemi**
or attachment to how big a cock should be!
**[18:29] Akemi**
We're interested in cocks
more than anyone else!
**[18:31] Yamada**
Why are you getting pissed off?
**[18:33] Akemi**
Men are always taking pride
in how big it is, but that's not it!
**[18:36] Akemi**
There are more important things than that!
**[18:38] Kazama**
Well, yeah.
**[18:40] Kazama**
There are virgins out there
who have big, useless cocks.
**[18:44] Akemi**
That statement is going to antagonize viewers!
**[18:46] Yamada**
That's also going to antagonize viewers!
**[18:49] Yamada**
S-So what's important is
not how big the cock is,
**[18:52] Yamada**
but how big one's heart is,
or one's love is. Something like that?
**[18:56] Akemi**
That's not it!
**[18:59] Akemi**
Don't spoil those with small cocks!
**[19:01] Akemi**
We're talking about *cocks* here!
**[19:03] Kazama**
Ah, scary! My cock's starting to shrink...
**[19:07] Akemi**
Rather than just size, a cock has other
scoring criteria like shape and color!
**[19:12] Akemi**
Is it really okay to negate those things
and claim that size is all that matters?
**[19:19] Yamada**
A common saying comes to mind...
**[19:22] Kazama**
It's not about having big boobs.
**[19:26] Kazama**
Having the right balance is important too.
**[19:29] Kazama**
But if that's the case, I'm starting to get
concerned about not only my size,
**[19:34] Kazama**
but the shape and color of my cock too.
**[19:39] Kazama**
Could you appraise it for me?
**[19:41] Yamada**
No way.
**[19:42] Akemi**
Um... could I chime in as an outsider?
**[19:45] Akemi**
I'm in balls deep with this one.
I want to know.
**[19:47] Yamada**
In balls deep?!
**[19:50] Yamada**
How should I put it... I really
don't like having to watch someone
**[19:54] Yamada**
appraise someone's cock more than
someone showing me their cock...
**[19:58] Akemi**
Aw, are you jealous?
**[20:00] Akemi**
Are you jealous that I'm looking at
someone else's cock rather than yours?
**[20:04] Kazama**
No, he's just disgusted.
**[20:07] Kazama**
Well then, let's take a peek...
**[20:18] Kazama**
How is it?
**[20:26] Akemi**
Yep, today's another peaceful day.
**[20:42] Akemi**
Oh, Mama, since when were you in the bathroom?
**[20:45] Basue**
Now, now. Today's been another peaceful day,
so let's start closing up for the night.
**[20:52] Akemi**
I really don't want to end it
with us looking at Kazama's cock.
**[20:56] Kazama**
Then let's sing something and end the day.
**[20:59] Yamada**
Kazama-san, you never sing it yourself,
so don't sing.
**[21:02] Akemi**
Hmm... Mama, you sing something.
**[21:05] Basue**
What? Me?
**[21:07] Akemi**
Please sing a song that'll help everyone
feel motivated to work again tomorrow.
**[21:11] Basue**
Oh, let's see...
**[21:14] [SONG] Caption**
Reserve
***SIGN*** Applause
**[21:15] Akemi**
What?!
**[21:18] Kazama**
I don't know this song, but the title
makes it sound like a bright future.
**[21:22] Yamada**
No... didn't Akemi-san just say
"What?!" to this song?
**[21:26] Basue**
It's a song with thoughts of looking forward.
**[21:30] Akemi**
Yeah, I suppose it is, but...
**[21:36] Basue**
*As usual, the curtains opened and*
**[21:42] Basue**
*I sang my love song when*
**[21:49] Basue**
*I received a message*
**[21:55] Basue**
*that was printed in the back of the newspaper.*
**[22:04] Basue**
* That was three years ago,*
* when I left you at the station*
**[22:14] Basue**
* and leapt onto the moving train*
* by myself even though you tried to stop me.*
**[22:26] Basue**
*In a quiet town during the afternoon,*
**[22:32] Basue**
*I stood in front of the church.*
**[22:39] Basue**
*While I wore a mourning dress,*
**[22:45] Basue**
*I even lost the words to pray.*
**[22:57] Basue**
Thank you very much.
**[23:00] Kazama**
That was kinda...
**[23:02] Yamada**
Lonely and depressing, wasn't it?
**[23:05] Akemi**
Oh, Mama, I can't believe you ended
the day with a heavy song like that.
**[23:11] Basue**
Don't worry, Akemi-chan.
**[23:13] Akemi**
About what?
**[23:15] Basue**
No matter how a day ends,
tomorrow is another day.
**[23:22] Basue**
Snack Basue will be open for business as usual.
**[23:26] Akemi**
That's a good way to put it.
**[23:28] Kazama**
Then I guess I'll come tomorrow too.
**[23:30] Yamada**
What, tomorrow too?
**[23:32] Kazama**
What, you don't wanna come?
**[23:34] Yamada**
No, it's more like *not* with you, Kazama-san...
**[23:37] Kazama**
Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey!
**[23:39] Kazama**
Aren't you being an awful sport?
**[23:41] Yamada**
Like I said, *that* is exactly
why I'm being an awful sport.
**[23:43] Akemi**
I solicit! I solicit!
**[23:44] Yamada**
You really want that misused phrase
to catch on, don't you?
**[23:46] Akemi**
It already caught on!
**[23:48] Yamada**
Really? I've never heard anyone use it.
# E13 - Risen' To the Top / Just One Look
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/G14U41Z1P/risen-to-the-top--just-one-look)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:04] Kazama**
Recently,
**[00:07] Kazama**
I've been working out.
**[00:11] Kazama**
You wanna feel it?
**[00:13] Akemi**
Oh, I really can't handle bugs, so...
**[00:17] Kazama**
I *am* a mammal, you know?
**[00:19] Azuma**
What if you use a tissue?
**[00:23] Akemi**
I'd have to use at least three tissues.
**[00:26] Kazama**
If I didn't work out, I'd be crying...
**[00:29] Kazama**
Hm?!
**[00:31] Kazama**
Hey, you're... pretty buff too?
**[00:36] Azuma**
Can you tell?
***SIGN*** Douglas Hamada Method
***SIGN*** New Body
Modification Method
**[00:38] Azuma**
It's the Douglas Hamada Method,
New Body Modification Technique.
***SIGN*** Douglas Hamada Method
**[00:42] Akemi**
New?
**[00:43] Kazama**
Huh? Can I feel them?
**[00:48] Azuma**
As you wish.
**[00:50] Kazama**
A-All right then.
**[00:54] Kazama**
Oh ho! That's good!
**[00:58] Azuma**
Ah, you're pretty big too?
**[01:02] Azuma**
Amazing... It's big and... hard.
**[01:02] Kazama**
Oh, man. Can't get enough.
**[01:07] Akemi**
That's sick!
**[01:08] Kazama**
Huh?
**[01:10] Kazama**
In a good way?
**[01:12] Kazama**
In a gross way!
**[01:22] [SONG] Sign**
Snack Basue
**[01:27] [SONG] Sign**
Snack Basue
***SIGN*** (If you're a man, you desire)
**[02:47] Akemi**
No, seriously, it's gross.
**[02:51] Kazama**
But don't you girls do this sort of thing
in public bath houses, too?
**[02:56] Akemi**
No!
**[02:57] Akemi**
...Is what I want to say, but I'd feel bad
crushing people's dreams.
**[03:01] Azuma**
You're a good woman.
**[03:03] Kazama**
But take a look at
Doug-niisan's tight muscles!
**[03:09] Azuma**
Don't you think Kazama-kun's body
also deserves some praise?
**[03:15] Akemi**
...Is what you're asking me,
but I have no idea.
**[03:18] Kazama**
Ah, you amateur!
**[03:21] Akemi**
But even bodybuilders don't look so macho
while they're getting bulked up.
**[03:27] Bodybuilder (built)**
Power!
**[03:29] Bodybuilder (fat)**
No power!
**[03:31] Azuma**
Hm, it seems she's not just
an amateur after all.
**[03:35] Kazama**
But come on, you still prefer
toned bodies, don't you?
**[03:40] Akemi**
With the way you guys are working out,
it's the same as when you have your clothes on.
**[03:44] Akemi**
It's more than looking hot
when you take off your clothes.
**[03:46] Muscle man**
Power!
**[03:47] Woman**
Please put on clothes!
**[03:48] Akemi**
I prefer guys looking hot
with their clothes on.
**[03:53] Muscle man**
Clothes—
**[03:54] Woman**
Aw, you have your clothes on for me.
**[03:56] Kazama**
Is that... the same as being able
to mostly do it
**[03:58] Kazama**
as long as they're wearing a paper bag?
**[04:01] Muscle man**
All right!
**[04:03] Akemi**
You should keep a garbage bag on, Kazama!
**[04:06] Azuma**
We want you to...
**[04:08] Azuma**
look at us more on the inside.
**[04:10] Akemi**
No, that's not what looking at the inside is!
**[04:15] Akemi**
Well, you know... if you asked me
which one I preferred,
**[04:18] Akemi**
of course it'd be the toned body, but...
**[04:21] Akemi**
I just don't like the thought!
**[04:23] Azuma**
That's more inside-focused than I expected...
**[04:26] Akemi**
First of all, you guys are not only making
your muscles bigger, but also your egos.
**[04:31] Azuma**
I don't think we are...
**[04:34] Azuma**
I think there are some humble
macho guys in the world too.
**[04:38] Akemi**
They're macho and yet humble?
What are they getting buffed up for then?
**[04:43] Azuma**
Then let me ask the opposite.
What do you think people work out for?
**[04:46] Akemi**
Huh? What do they work out for?
**[04:49] Azuma**
Huh? You ask why, but it's for health
and weight control reasons...
**[04:55] Azuma**
...is what it's supposed to be for.
However, recently, I'm not so sure anymore.
**[04:58] Kazama**
You're right...
**[05:00] Kazama**
Why is it that I'm happy that
my muscles are getting bigger?
**[05:04] Akemi**
That's because when you start to work out,
**[05:07] Akemi**
your muscles begin to take over
your consciousness.
**[05:10] Azuma and Kazuma**
What?!
**[05:12] Akemi**
Before you know it,
you're lifting heavy things
**[05:15] Akemi**
and searching for protein-rich foods.
**[05:20] Akemi**
Can you think of any incidents like that?
**[05:22] Kazama**
Come to think of it, I'm starting to feel like
I'm being controlled by my muscles!
**[05:27] Azuma**
Please, calm down.
**[05:29] Azuma**
First off, isn't that how it is when you're
fully immersed in a hobby?
**[05:34] Azuma**
Even if you feel like it's a waste of time,
you can't stop because it's fun.
**[05:38] Azuma**
That's just how it is.
**[05:40] Kazama**
Yeah, you said it.
**[05:42] Kazama**
Hobbies are meant to be satisfying.
**[05:46] Akemi**
Yeah.
**[05:47] Kazama**
But at the very least...
**[05:51] Kazama**
people who work out are definitely
better than those who don't!
**[05:56] Akemi**
There's that thought! You're so obnoxious!
**[06:00] Kazama**
I'm not bothering anyone!
**[06:02] Kazama**
I'm not bothering anyone!
**[06:03] Akemi**
Even so, people who make claims like that
become potential criminals!
**[06:08] Kazama**
People who don't work out
would never understand!
**[06:11] Akemi**
What does a muscle-brain like you know?!
**[06:15] Azuma**
Both sides, enough!
**[06:19] Azuma**
It's too sad when people discriminate against
each other because of their hobbies.
**[06:25] Azuma**
Why don't we respect
one another here and shake on it!
**[06:30] Azuma**
Now, come on!
**[06:37] Azuma**
The gap is wide when you use three tissues.
**[06:47] Kazama**
I won!
**[06:52] Azuma**
That would definitely make her pull back.
**[06:58] Azuma**
Akemi-chan... Did that make you angry?
**[07:06] Azuma**
I-Is she...
**[07:08] Azuma**
getting pumped up to take her revenge?!
**[07:10] Kazama**
People who work out
with a clear purpose are scary!
**[07:14] Kazama**
There's no way I could win against that!
***SIGN*** Snack Basue
***SIGN*** (With kindness)
**[07:24] Akemi**
Fuck!
**[07:26] Akemi**
Fuck, fuck!
**[07:29] Akemi**
Fuck!
**[07:30] Akemi**
This fucking braised pork!
**[07:33] Akemi**
As soon as I put it in my mouth...
**[07:35] Akemi**
Fuck!
**[07:37] Akemi**
I want to savor the taste more
but it melts away!
**[07:40] Akemi**
It's the best fucking braised meat!
**[07:43] Kosame**
Akemi-san, what's going on?
**[07:44] {background}**
Mm, fuck! Fuck!
**[07:47] Kosame**
You're carrying on, saying "fuck, fuck."
**[07:48] Akemi**
You don't know, Kosame-chan?
**[07:50] Akemi**
I heard that you can relieve stress by saying
bad words and that it's good for your health.
**[07:56] Kosame**
Oh, I thought you turned into an American.
**[08:00] Akemi**
Hey! Watch what you say!
**[08:02] Kosame**
Huh, okay...
**[08:05] Kosame**
But is it really good for your health?
**[08:08] Akemi**
I saw it in the headline
of an online news article.
**[08:11] Kosame**
The credibility is questionable
even if you read the whole article,
**[08:14] Kosame**
and you only read the headline?!
**[08:15] Akemi**
But, seriously, it fucking feels good!
**[08:19] Akemi**
Fuck-k-k-k!
**[08:21] Kosame**
Shut up!
**[08:22] Kosame**
Think of those
who are forced to listen to it!
**[08:24] Akemi**
What?
**[08:25] Kosame**
What do you mean, "What?"
**[08:27] Kosame**
It may be good for the person saying it,
**[08:28] Kosame**
but you're passing your
wrinkles over here as stress!
**[08:32] Akemi**
Then, Kosame-chan, why don't
you say bad words too?
**[08:37] Kosame**
If I did that, it'd be like a dodgeball game
of bad words going back and forth.
**[08:41] Kosame**
I will endure and break the cycle of hate.
**[08:45] Akemi**
That's the type of person
we need in today's society.
**[08:49] Akemi**
But it puts you in a bad position.
**[08:52] Kosame**
It was silly to begin with.
**[08:55] Kosame**
It's supposed to be healthier to say
kind words instead of bad words.
**[09:00] Kosame**
If everyone felt kind,
**[09:02] Kosame**
there would be less stress
and everyone would benefit from it!
**[09:05] Akemi**
You really think so?
**[09:07] Kosame**
Yes, I'm sure!
**[09:09] Kosame**
It's wrong to even question that!
**[09:12] Akemi**
What?
**[09:13] Kosame**
You have a hard time
being kind because you question it.
**[09:18] Akemi**
Oh, I sense a dangerous thought.
**[09:21] Kosame**
Starting today, you should stop cursing,
and only use kind words!
**[09:27] Akemi**
Kind... words?
**[09:31] Akemi**
*100,000,000 yen?*
**[09:33] Akemi**
*Unearned income?*
**[09:34] Kosame**
Akemi-san?
**[09:36] Akemi**
I have no vocabulary for kind words!
**[09:38] Kosame**
What?!
**[09:40] Akemi**
I never thought I was such a sloppy,
shitty, meat doll...
**[09:45] Kosame**
There you go again, using bad words...
**[09:48] Kosame**
You know, like saying
an appreciative "thank you",
**[09:52] Kosame**
or encouraging words like "Good job!"
**[09:55] Akemi**
Huh? Don't you use those words when
you're aggravating or teasing someone?
**[09:59] Kosame**
What, "You're a sloppy, shitty, meat doll"?
**[10:03] Akemi**
It's hard for me to say kind words...
**[10:06] Kosame**
Why don't you start
by not using bad words?
**[10:11] Kosame**
If you speak your mind,
you're bound to hurt someone's feelings.
**[10:16] Kosame**
So, I try to say things in a roundabout way,
and they'll turn into kind words.
**[10:22] Akemi**
Oh, so I should be like the people from Kyoto
and say "meanie" instead of bitch?
**[10:28] Aristocrat**
My, haven't your skills with the piano
been improving lately?
**[10:30] Purple Shikibu**
He is seriously just talking bad about you.
**[10:33] Purple Shikibu**
FYI, he means "You're noisy everyday!"
**[10:36] Kosame**
Not sure what that means. The context isn't wrong,
but somehow it sounds like an insult.
**[10:42] Akemi**
Well, I feel kindness
just from the wording alone.
**[10:48] Akemi**
I'm no match against the real deal, but...
**[10:51] Kosame**
Um... Why don't we stop for now?
**[10:54] Akemi**
And why is that?
**[10:56] Kosame**
I mean...
**[10:57] Akemi**
It is fine, Kosame-han.
**[11:00] Akemi**
Considering the population of Japan,
**[11:02] Akemi**
Kyoto prefecture only
contains 2% of them.
**[11:07] Kosame**
I... see.
**[11:09] Akemi**
Then...
**[11:10] Akemi**
It's okay, right?!
**[11:11] Kosame**
What is?! You don't care
if they get pissed at you?!
**[11:14] Kosame**
No, even if it is 2%, is there a need
to make them your enemies?
**[11:20] Akemi**
If you turn 2% into enemies,
**[11:23] Akemi**
that means if you can gain more allies,
you can win the battle.
**[11:26] Kosame**
Don't start a battle to begin with!
**[11:29] Akemi**
In this world, you can't survive
with just kindness.
**[11:33] Kosame**
But bad words are still bad, you know.
**[11:37] Akemi**
Why does that sound like
something from Bad Boys 2 Bad?
**[11:41] Akemi**
What it comes down to is
that there aren't bad words,
**[11:45] Akemi**
it's just that there are people
who make them bad.
**[11:49] Akemi**
Instead of passing judgment
on the words themselves,
**[11:51] Akemi**
the person who uses them should take
responsibility for what they say.
**[11:55] Kosame**
You've wrapped it up in a way
that kind of sounds correct.
**[11:58] Akemi**
So, to the people of Kyoto,
**[12:02] Akemi**
I am terribly sorry for using you
as a bad joke earlier.
**[12:07] Kosame**
If you're going to apologize,
don't say it in the first place!
**[12:11] Akemi**
I-I wonder if it's okay...
**[12:13] Akemi**
I feel like this apology is going to
provoke people instead.
**[12:17] Kosame**
Lame!
***SIGN*** Snack Basue
**[12:21] Purple Shikibu**
Purple Shikib—
**[12:21] Akemi**
Wrong! It's Snack Basue!
**[12:24] Purple Shikibu**
Seriously?
***SIGN*** (A gift from the heart)
**[12:31] Morita**
Here, Akemi-chan.
**[12:33] Akemi**
What is it?
**[12:34] Akemi**
The enemy General's head?
**[12:36] Morita**
I didn't just come home from a war!
**[12:39] Morita**
I kept missing my chance,
but it's for White Day!
**[12:43] Akemi**
Celebrating White Day at
a different time of the year...
**[12:45] Morita**
...is actually thrilling!
**[12:47] Morita**
That's all it took?
**[12:49] Akemi**
Can I open it?!
**[12:50] Morita**
You're like an American child
opening a present on Christmas.
**[12:58] Basue**
Oh, what a cute cactus.
**[13:02] Morita**
Right? It's rather stylish,
considering it was me who chose it.
**[13:06] Akemi**
It looks the same.
**[13:08] Morita**
What?
**[13:09] Basue**
To what?
**[13:12] Akemi**
To what…
**[13:13] Morita**
Yeah, to what?
**[13:16] Akemi**
If I have to say it,
it would be to my ex-boyfriend's...
**[13:22] Morita**
Your ex... was a cactus?
**[13:25] Akemi**
Not like that!
**[13:26] Morita**
I-I mean, cacti are easy to take care of,
**[13:30] Morita**
and I thought the size
was good for starters, but...
**[13:33] Morita**
Oh, is it because a cactus has thorns
and it could mean damaging relationships,
**[13:38] Morita**
so it wasn't a good present to give someone
in the customer service industry type thing?
**[13:41] Akemi**
I wasn't thinking that deeply!
**[13:44] Akemi**
Morita, are you honestly saying that?
**[13:48] Morita**
What are you talking about?
**[13:49] Akemi**
How about if I put a mosaic over it...
**[13:53] Akemi**
How about now?
**[13:54] Morita**
The heck is that?
**[13:55] Morita**
Akemi-chan, what are you even talking about?!
**[13:59] Akemi**
Come on,
**[14:03] Akemi**
it's a cock.
**[14:08] Akemi**
It's a cock!
**[14:09] Basue**
Now, Akemi-chan...
**[14:11] Basue**
He just gave you a present,
you shouldn't say it—
**[14:14] Basue**
It's a cock!
**[14:16] Morita**
...It's not?
**[14:18] Morita**
This is a stylish cactus, you know?
**[14:21] Morita**
Just by being here, it makes the room
look brighter and yet isn't too insistent...
**[14:26] Morita**
The flower symbolizes
a love that never withers.
**[14:28] Morita**
What do you think?
**[14:29] Morita**
Can't be more stylish than that, right?
**[14:31] Akemi and Basue**
Can't be more cock than that!
**[14:33] Morita**
Quit it!
**[14:34] Morita**
What are you guys even going on about?!
**[14:37] Morita**
Take a good look!
**[14:40] Morita**
It's a cock!
**[14:42] Morita**
Oh, man, it's a cock!
**[14:44] Morita**
The heck is this?!
**[14:45] Morita**
It looks nothing like the one
I ordered from the internet!
**[14:48] Morita**
I'll have them exchange it!
**[14:50] Akemi**
Huh? Why?
**[14:52] Akemi**
It's cute, isn't it?
**[14:57] Morita**
But... It's a cock?
**[14:59] Akemi**
Yeah, it's a cock.
**[15:01] Akemi**
Thank you, Morita. I'll take good care of it.
**[15:04] Morita**
But it's a cock?!
**[15:06] Akemi**
Doesn't a cactus grow well
when you talk to it?
**[15:09] Akemi**
Isn't that right, Cocky?
**[15:10] Morita**
Now you're just wanting to say cock.
**[15:12] Morita**
If you think cocks are so cute,
**[15:14] Morita**
you should come play with mine!
**[15:17] Akemi**
You're the worst! That's sexual harassment!
**[15:19] Morita**
You've been calling it a cock this whole time
and you're going to ping me now?
**[15:21] Akemi**
Sexual harassment is judged
based on who's receiving it!
**[15:24] Morita**
To men, that's as unfair as the rook
getting taken off the board.
**[15:27] Morita**
Why is the real one bad?
**[15:30] Akemi**
You don't get it, do you?
**[15:33] Akemi**
A teddy bear is cute,
but a real bear is scary!
**[15:37] Akemi**
It's the same as that!
**[15:39] Morita**
Huh? I want another example.
**[15:43] Akemi**
Then...
**[15:44] Akemi**
If you put a cock-like thing
on social media, it'll go viral,
**[15:49] Akemi**
but if it's a real cock, it'll be flagged!
**[15:51] Morita**
You're right!
**[15:53] Morita**
That was easy to understand!
**[15:54] Morita**
Hey, we've been talking about cocks
this whole time, but is that okay?
**[15:58] Basue**
The viewers will decide that.
**[16:01] Morita**
That's not good.
**[16:02] Basue**
But I think manga readers are the only ones
following this anime to the special edition.
**[16:10] Morita**
So we're good then!
**[16:11] Basue**
Oh, actually, I have a present
for everyone too.
**[16:16] Morita**
Are you serious?
**[16:17] Akemi**
What kind? What kind?
**[16:22] Basue**
Abalone.
**[16:24] Basue**
My fisherman friend sent it to me.
**[16:28] Basue**
Let's eat it together.
**[16:31] Basue**
Now, come! Come to me!
**[16:34] Akemi**
Mama... The awfulness of your dirty joke
is against regulations.
**[16:37] Akemi**
Disqualification!
**[16:46] Basue**
...is what happened.
**[16:48] Tatsu-ni**
All I got from that was that
you messed up, Mama.
**[16:51] Tatsu-ni**
And? What's that box?
***SIGN*** Donations
**[16:54] Basue**
It's a donation box.
**[16:56] Basue**
Akemi-chan is getting way out of hand
with her lewd comments,
***SIGN*** Donations
**[17:01] Basue**
so I've decided to make her donate 100 yen
**[17:03] Basue**
each time she makes one
at the store from now on.
**[17:07] Tatsu-ni**
It's a fine no matter how I look at it,
but I can see how it's good for society.
**[17:11] Akemi**
Seriously, I can't believe Mama.
How rude of her.
**[17:15] Akemi**
I don't make dirty jokes
all the time, sheesh!
**[17:19] Tatsu-ni**
You say that, but the amount
of coins you've prepared
**[17:21] Tatsu-ni**
is about the same as what you'd have
at an arcade in its heyday.
**[17:26] Akemi**
Why don't you change it to LED?
**[17:28] Tatsu-ni**
Never mind that. I have a game that's perfect,
now that you can't make dirty jokes.
**[17:33] Tatsu-ni**
It's called Ero-Riddles!
**[17:36] Basue**
Hey now... I think that's
sexual harassment...
**[17:40] Basue**
Uh... I'll allow it!
**[17:43] Tatsu-ni**
Okay, question number one. Dun dun.
**[17:46] Tatsu-ni**
What does a girl want from a guy she likes?
**[17:51] Akemi**
His cock!
**[17:52] Tatsu-ni**
No hesitation.
**[17:54] Akemi**
Since I got it right, the contents
of the box are all mine, okay?
**[17:57] Tatsu-ni**
It's not that kind of gambling
we're doing here!
**[17:59] Basue**
It's not just her mouth!
She's rotten to the core!
**[18:03] Tatsu-ni**
Besides, cock is not the right answer!
**[18:06] Tatsu-ni**
You can't answer with dirty jokes.
**[18:09] Tatsu-ni**
What's good about these ero-riddles
is that you need to avoid the traps
**[18:13] Tatsu-ni**
and come up with safe answers.
**[18:15] Akemi**
I see...
**[18:17] Akemi**
Something a girl would want
from a guy she likes...
**[18:22] Akemi**
Wouldn't she be happy with a cock too?
**[18:23] Tatsu-ni**
The answer is a ring, but which
*would* she be happy with?
**[18:28] Tatsu-ni**
Anyway, question number two... Dun dun.
**[18:30] Tatsu-ni**
What's harder to use the more you stroke it?
**[18:34] Akemi**
Cock!
**[18:35] Tatsu-ni**
What's that in your hand?!
**[18:37] Basue**
It's more serious than I thought...
**[18:41] Tatsu-ni**
It was my fault for applying the advanced
rules of ero-riddles without easing into it.
**[18:47] Tatsu-ni**
Akemi-chan, I'm sorry.
**[18:49] Tatsu-ni**
Let's end the riddles here,
and go over the rules again.
**[18:52] Tatsu-ni**
First one is "Do not make dirty jokes."
**[18:55] Tatsu-ni**
Second one is "If you do,
you will pay a 100 yen fine."
**[18:57] Tatsu-ni**
For now, these two rules. Okay?
**[19:01] Akemi**
Okay, cock!
**[19:02] Tatsu-ni**
Why?
**[19:03] Tatsu-ni**
Hey, were you listening?
**[19:05] Akemi**
I was listening.
That's why I paid the fine. Cock.
**[19:09] Tatsu-ni**
It's not good to think that it's okay
as long as you pay!
**[19:14] Basue**
It seems the fine is too cheap.
**[19:16] Tatsu-ni**
You're finally calling it a fine, but, well,
I think it's best to raise the price more.
**[19:21] Basue**
Then... how about 200 yen.
***SIGN*** Donation
**[19:24] Akemi**
Cock!
**[19:24] Basue**
300 yen!
**[19:26] Akemi**
Cock!
**[19:27] Tatsu-ni**
It's like an auction is going on...
**[19:29] Tatsu-ni**
How much are you willing to pay up to?
**[19:32] Akemi**
If it goes over 1000 yen, I'll stop.
**[19:35] Tatsu-ni**
You're like a smoker.
**[19:38] Basue**
Then 1000 yen it is.
**[19:42] Akemi**
Cock!
**[19:43] Tatsu-ni**
You're like a smoker who can't quit.
**[19:46] Akemi**
This is just like the gacha
from a mobile game.
**[19:49] Akemi**
Once you start purchasing things,
**[19:51] Akemi**
you become more and more numb
to the situation and continue buying.
**[19:54] Basue**
It's dangerous to slip into the world
of paying for data, Akemi-chan.
**[20:00] Tatsu-ni**
When you think about it that way,
**[20:01] Tatsu-ni**
manga is cheap for something
you can read over and over again.
**[20:04] Tatsu-ni**
So more people should buy it.
**[20:07] Basue**
When you don't buy them, your favorite
manga don't continue, either.
**[20:15] Akemi**
Hey. It's more like
**[20:16] Akemi**
you're insane for trying to bind people's
words and actions with fines!
**[20:20] Tatsu-ni**
Then what do you suggest we do?
**[20:22] Akemi**
Hm... If someone says a bad word,
how about they get shoulder punched?
**[20:25] Tatsu-ni**
What are you, a junior high school student?
**[20:27] Basue**
Why don't you risk your life?
**[20:29] Tatsu-ni**
What are you, an elementary school student?
**[20:31] Basue**
How about you, Tatsu-ni?
Do you have a better idea?
**[20:35] Akemi**
Hey! LED!
**[20:37] Tatsu-ni**
How about something like... If you say
a dirty joke, as a punishment,
**[20:39] Tatsu-ni**
you have to confess your love to Morita-chan?
**[20:42] Akemi**
That's the worst type of bullying!
**[20:45] Akemi**
I can't believe you, Tatsu-ni!
**[20:47] Basue**
Don't you feel sorry for Morita-chan?!
**[20:51] Tatsu-ni**
But true love might develop from
the punishment, you know?
**[20:55] Akemi**
A true punishment game!
**[20:57] Basue**
Horrifying good intentions.
**[21:00] Akemi**
Isn't there a more lenient
punishment than that?
**[21:03] Basue**
Then how about hanging
a derogatory sign from your neck
***SIGN*** I'll only marry tall,
handsome men
who make over
10,000,000 yen!!
***SIGN*** m 0 0 l 120 0 120 150 0 155
**[21:07] Basue**
and walking through the slums?
**[21:10] Tatsu-ni**
Die Hard 3!
**[21:11] Akemi**
Is that more lenient
than the one with Morita?!
**[21:13] Akemi**
Don't you think it's escalated too much
from paying a fine of 100 yen?!
**[21:16] Akemi**
All of a sudden, the goal has become
to inflict the harshest punishment on me!
**[21:22] Akemi**
To begin with, wasn't it to make me
stop telling dirty jokes?!
**[21:27] Akemi**
Come on, you two! Keep it together!
**[21:29] Tatsu-ni**
If only you kept it together,
everything would be fine, but...
**[21:34] Basue**
Ah, maybe I'll just lift the ban
on telling dirty jokes then.
**[21:37] Akemi**
All right!
**[21:39] Basue**
What if I make it the opposite and say
you're *only* allowed to tell dirty jokes?
**[21:42] Basue**
Maybe you might get sick of them.
**[21:45] Tatsu-ni**
Wouldn't that turn into
a punishment game for *us*?
**[21:48] Tatsu-ni**
We'd have to deal with someone
who only tells dirty jokes, you know?
**[21:52] Basue**
A blindspot was found!
**[21:54] Basue**
Actually, it's more like...
**[21:56] Basue**
On the contrary, it's no different
than any other day.
**[22:00] Akemi**
I don't want to be the one to say this,
**[22:02] Akemi**
but you're the one
who hired people like me, Mama!
**[22:04] Akemi**
Let's just act like we normally do.
**[22:07] Akemi**
There's no need to ban dirty jokes.
**[22:10] Akemi**
That's because this is a run-down snack bar.
**[22:13] Akemi**
The customers are here to be able to freely
say dirty jokes that they can't at work!
**[22:19] Basue**
Then make sure you're the one listening.
**[22:23] Tatsu-ni**
Well, you know... that's the best part
about this snack bar.
**[22:28] Tatsu-ni**
So I say, why not let her
tell dirty jokes for today?
**[22:32] Akemi**
Woohoo, I won the lawsuit!
**[22:35] Akemi**
Oh, but you know...
**[22:40] Akemi**
If we're going to allow it,
**[22:41] Akemi**
I'd like it if we banned ones
that have ulterior motives.
**[22:46] Akemi**
Hm, what I'm trying to say is, my dirty jokes
are all purely to get the upper hand.
**[22:51] Akemi**
There are some that aren't like that and are
told more for sexual purposes, you know?
**[22:57] Akemi**
Unlike my dirty jokes, that play on words
to satisfy my intellectual curiosity...
**[23:04] Akemi**
If I'm right, some tell dirty jokes
to satisfy their sexual needs...
**[23:07] Akemi**
Or perhaps even as part of their foreplay.
I think those should be banned.
**[23:15] Basue**
I see... Akemi-chan... I understand.
**[23:21] Basue**
I can't be bothered distinguishing them,
so I'm just going to ban all dirty jokes!
**[23:26] Akemi**
What?!
**[23:27] Tatsu-ni**
So that's how inconvenient rules are made...
**[23:33] Akemi**
Oh?
**[23:34] Yamada**
Hello.
**[23:36] Akemi**
It's Yamada... and...
**[23:38] Morita**
Me!
**[23:39] Tatsu-ni**
Oh, Morita-chan is with you too.
**[23:42] Morita**
We ran into each other downstairs...
**[23:44] Morita**
And, uh, Mama, what's with the donation box?
**[23:47] Basue**
Akemi-chan said cock too many times,
so I collected a lot of donations.
**[23:53] Morita**
I don't get it at all.
**[23:55] Basue**
Oh, I know! Since everyone is here,
**[23:59] Basue**
why don't I get you guys
some pizza with this money.
**[24:02] Yamada**
Oh, I actually ate already today.
**[24:05] Basue**
Oh...
**[24:07] Morita**
Me too. I'll take some
light dried snacks though.
**[24:11] Morita**
Do you have some peanuts?
**[24:12] Akemi**
All right!
**[24:13] Akemi**
Then, Tatsu-ni, put in a song
that fits what he ordered.
**[24:18] Tatsu-ni**
Huh, a song that fits what he ordered?
**[24:21] Tatsu-ni**
Even though we have the same publisher,
**[24:23] Tatsu-ni**
I don't think it's a good idea
to take it that far, don't you think?
**[24:26] Yamada**
What kind of family of spies
are you thinking about?
**[24:29] Morita**
Then...
**[24:31] Morita**
How about this?
**[24:33] Tatsu-ni**
Oh, Morita-chan, that's perfect.
**[24:36] Yamada**
That's a good one.
**[24:38] Morita**
Right?
**[24:40] Tatsu-ni**
But... I wonder if I can hit the notes?
**[24:40] [SONG] Caption**
Reserved
***SIGN*** Vacation of Love
**[24:43] Yamada**
You intend to sing it?!
**[24:45] Tatsu-ni**
I'm kidding.
**[24:47] Tatsu-ni**
Here.
**[24:48] Tatsu-ni**
Even on days when the conversations are bad,
**[24:50] Tatsu-ni**
if you end them with a good song,
everything will be okay.
**[24:53] Tatsu-ni**
We're counting on you, Mama, Akemi-chan.
**[24:56] Akemi**
Okay, cock!
**[24:57] Basue**
Akemi-chan, we're done
with that conversation.
**[25:02] Basue and Akemi**
* My maiden heart dreams of a sweet love*
**[25:12] Basue and Akemi**
* with your breathless kiss.*
**[25:22] Basue and Akemi**
* Let's make love
on the golden, glittering, hot sand*
**[25:32] Basue and Akemi**
* naked, just like a mermaid.*
**[25:42] Basue and Akemi**
* The promise he whispered,
as our tanned cheeks touch,*
**[25:52] Basue and Akemi**
* is a secret kept between us.
It makes me utter a sigh.*
**[26:02] Basue and Akemi**
* Oh, these hopeful months
and days filled with love and happiness.*
**[26:12] Basue and Akemi**
* My vacation of love
where I first laid my eyes on you.*
**[26:23] Yamada**
It's really fun.
**[26:25] Morita**
What's with you all of a sudden, Yama-chan?
**[26:27] Yamada**
Oh, it's just...
**[26:28] Yamada**
I was thinking how nice it is
to feel this way
**[26:31] Yamada**
at a snack bar that I just
happen to go to now.
**[26:35] Morita**
...Yeah.
**[26:38] Akemi**
Okay, go on to the next,
Yamada! Sing! Sing!
**[26:42] Yamada**
What, me?
**[26:44] Akemi**
Come on!
**[26:46] Akemi**
Everyone, let's get pumped up!
**[26:48] Akemi**
Swing those towels!
**[26:49] [SONG] Caption**
Snack Basue
**[26:50] Yamada**
W-What? Isn't this Tatsu-ni's
signature song?!
**[26:51] Basue; Tatsu-ni; Morita**
Yay!
**[26:53] Tatsu-ni**
I'm counting on you, Yama-chan!
**[26:55] Yamada**
I'm saying, what language
is this song even in?!