Snack Basue
Welcome to Snack Basue! Delight yourself in this charming snack bar, just five stations away from Hokkaido's largest downtown area, Susukino. Run by the quirky proprietress, Basue, and her junior hostess, Akemi, the place is filled with laughter and smiles from its oddball regulars and walk-ins as they regale tales of their lives. So, pull up a seat and have a drink—is shochu OK?
- Season 1
- E1 - Let's Stay Together / I Ain't Gonna Stand For It / God's Gift To The World
- E2 - Come Rain or Come Shine / Sweet Baby / Still Waiting
- E3 - You're Still My Brother / As The Years Go Passing By / Try Me
- E4 - There Is Love / If I Should Die Tonight / Soul Shadows
- E5 - Get on the Good Foot / Talkin' Loud And Saying Nothin' / My Funny Valentine
- E6 - Hello Stranger / What a Wonderful World / As / Mean Old World
- E7 - Closer / What a Fool Believes / God Blessed Our Love
- E8 - None Of Us Are Free / In The Midnight Hour / Twinkle Twinkle Little Me / Angel
- E9 - Release Yourself / Bad, Bad Whiskey / Can't Get Any Harder
- E10 - Friend To Friend / Wednesday Night / Only Sixteen
- E11 - Under The Cherry Moon / Adult Education / Solitude
- E12 - The Great Pretender / Let Me Into Your World / Trouble Man
- E13 - Risen' To the Top / Just One Look
Season 1
E1 - Let's Stay Together / I Ain't Gonna Stand For It / God's Gift To The World
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Tamabukuro
Hey there! I'm Sujitarou Tamabukuro.
[00:03] Tamabukuro
Do you know what a snack bar is?
[00:05] Tamabukuro
What? You don't know?
[00:07] Tamabukuro
You see, a snack bar is a place where
[00:09] Tamabukuro
there's a hostess, a counter,
regulars who come,
[00:11] Tamabukuro
there's booze, karaoke,
and towels are handed to you.
[00:13] Tamabukuro
It's that sort of place.
[00:15] Tamabukuro
Everyone is a friend at the snack bar.
[00:17] Tamabukuro
It's a place where strangers
can bond and be themselves.
[00:21] Tamabukuro
That's what a snack bar is all about.
[00:24] Tamabukuro
I bet, even today, there are
all different kinds of stories
[00:27] Tamabukuro
being born at a snack bar somewhere...
[00:30] Tamabukuro
This is Sapporo. Susukino...
[00:33] Tamabukuro
I mean, Kita-24-Jo.
[00:36] Tamabukuro
A snack bar hidden away in a
quiet place away from downtown.
SIGN Snack Basue
[00:58] Basue
Oh, goodness. It's so hard
to know how to react to western music.
[01:01] Akemi
Do Thai songs count as western?
[01:05] Tatsu
Hey, Akemi-chan, you sing too.
[01:08] Akemi
Leave it to me!
[01:10] Basue
Akemi-chan, you know how to sing this song?
[01:13] Akemi
Yeah! I learned it from Tatsu-ni singing it.
[01:16] Akemi
Okay then...
[01:18] Akemi
Let's get pumped up!
[01:20] Akemi
Swing those towels!
[01:23] Tatsu and Basue
Yeah!
[01:34] Yamada
G-Good evening...
[01:42] Yamada
Well, this is awkward.
[01:45] Akemi
I'm the kind of girl who stops singing when she's in a karaoke booth
[01:47] Sign
Junior Hostess, Akemi
[01:51] Akemi
and an employee walks in.
[01:52] Yamada
Um, you know, I'm the customer, right?
SIGN (Welcome to Basue)
[03:31] Yamada
Um...
[03:34] Basue
I'm the type of woman who
somehow gets embarrassed
[03:36] Basue
whenever she sees a person stop singing.
[03:39] Basue
Welcome in.
[03:42] Yamada
Oh, thank you.
[03:43] Basue
Welcome to Snack Basue.
[03:46] Sign
Hostess (Mama)
Basue
[03:46] Basue
I'm Basue, the hostess.
[03:48] Basue
What's your name, sir?
[03:50] Yamada
Uh, my name is Yamada.
[03:51] Sign
Yamada
[03:53] Basue
Yamada-san, then.
[03:55] Yamada
Um...
[03:57] Akemi
I'm Akemi, the junior hostess.
[04:00] Akemi
Come on over and have a seat here.
[04:02] Yamada
Okay.
[04:05] Yamada
H-Hello. Pardon me. I'll be taking this seat.
[04:08] Akemi
Is shochu okay?
[04:10] Yamada
Could I get a shochu mixed with water, please?
[04:12] Akemi
Sure thing!
[04:13] Akemi
Shochu with water, coming right up.
[04:19] Yamada
Um, he's seriously staring at me!
[04:22] Akemi
Cut it out, Tatsu-ni!
[04:24] Tatsu
My bad, my bad!
[04:26] Tatsu
I usually see old men come here,
so I was surprised
[04:28] Sign
Patron, Tatsu-ni
[04:29] Tatsu
to see someone young walk in.
[04:31] Yamada
I thought you were someone
out of a Western film.
[04:35] Tatsu
Encountering strange men is part
of the charm of snack bars.
[04:39] Tatsu
They call me Tatsu-ni here.
[04:43] Tatsu
Well, it's nice to meet you.
[04:45] Yamada
I'm Yamada. Nice to meet you, too.
[04:47] Yamada
Just go easy on me.
[04:50] Yamada
I'm sorry for being tactless,
but it's my first time at a snack bar.
[04:53] Tatsu
Oh, it's your first time?
[04:56] Yamada
Yes, so I'm not sure how you're
supposed to have fun at a snack bar.
[05:01] Tatsu
Whether it's for Mama
Basue's meals or karaoke,
[05:05] Tatsu
there are all sorts of reasons
why people come here.
[05:10] Tatsu
But I think the number one
reason is the conversations.
[05:12] Yamada
I see.
[05:14] Akemi
Even so, Yamada-san, was it?
[05:16] Akemi
I'm surprised you even came to a
snack bar on the outskirts like ours.
[05:20] Basue
And you're the one working at that
snack bar on the outskirts, Akemi-chan.
[05:25] Yamada
Oh, no, I was placed in charge
of handling our company outing
[05:29] Yamada
and was looking for another potential
place we could go for the afterparty.
[05:32] Akemi
You already look serious,
but have you ever been told
[05:35] Akemii
you're more serious than you look?
[05:37] Yamada
What do you mean?
[05:38] Akemi
Well, why here?
[05:41] Yamada
This place was listed in my town paper, so.
SIGN Sapporo Town Paper
[05:44] Akemi
Hm? What?!
[05:45] Akemi
You came because of this close-up
picture of Mama Basue?!
SIGN Snack Basue
[05:47] Yamada
Oh, no, I just came here because
it was the closest one.
[05:51] Basue
I understand.
[05:52] Yamada
What?
[05:54] Basue
You sensed my motherly instinct
and came to be babied, have you?
[05:59] Yamada
Babied?
[06:00] Basue
You don't have to hide it.
[06:02] Basue
When a young man wanders into a snack bar...
[06:07] Basue
it means that he had a rough day and wants
to be coddled by Mama, isn't that right?
[06:11] Yamada
Um, not really.
[06:14] Basue
My dear customer, I sense that you
often hide your emotions inside.
[06:22] Basue
And you wish to melt that stress
away by sharing it here.
[06:27] Akemi
Yes. We aim to provide a place
where customers can freely talk
[06:33] Akemi
about whatever they want
and enjoy themselves.
[06:38] Basue
That's what being a professional
hostess is all about.
[06:41] Akemi
That is our Snack Basue
[06:44] Akemi and Basue
hospitality!
[06:51] Basue
Now tell me, what's troubling you?
[06:54] Yamada
Um...
[06:55] Tatsu
There's nothing to be embarrassed about.
[06:58] Tatsu
Every man has days like this.
[07:02] Akemi
My duty, as a snack bar hostess,
is to somehow
[07:05] Akemi
provide feminine appeal while
listening to customer's problems.
[07:08] Akemi
Now spill it and let me counsel you.
[07:12] Basue
Come on.
[07:13] Tatsu
Come on.
[07:14] Akemi
Come on.
[07:16] Basue; Tatsu; and Akemi
C'mon... C'mon... C'mon... C'mon...
SIGN PEER PRESSURE
[07:19] Yamada
I see...
[07:21] Yamada
This is what they call being pressured
into telling them my problems.
SIGN Atmosphere
[07:25] Akemi
Except!
[07:29] Akemi
Please give us a good one!
[07:31] Yamada
A good one?
[07:32] Akemi
Yes. If the problem is too serious,
we'd be lost for words...
[07:38] Akemi
And, if we're going to counsel you,
[07:39] Akemi
we want to feel a sense of
accomplishment, you know.
[07:42] Basue
So, please give us a good one, okay?
[07:45] Akemi
Please give us something that we can
relate to and easily respond to!
[07:45] Basue
C'mon. C'mon. Hey. Hey. C'mon.
Give it to us already.
[07:51] Yamada
You're placing too much pressure
on the person receiving the advice.
[07:57] Yamada
All right, I'll give it a try.
[08:00] Tatsu
Hey, you're actually playing along.
[08:04] Yamada
I was doing overtime today because
of a mistake my Senpai made...
[08:09] Yamada
And he clocked out at his usual time.
[08:13] Yamada
What should I have done
in a situation like this?
[08:16] Basue
Hm. Hm. I see. You got the brunt of it, huh.
[08:20] Akemi
But your Senpai didn't even feel bad for it...
[08:26] Akemi
Oh, so close!
[08:27] Yamada
What do you mean?
[08:28] Sign
"I had something similar happen to me when I was young.
I had to come in on my day off so it was the worst."
[08:29] Yamada
And what is this?!
[08:30] Sign
"I feel like you're venting more than asking for advice.
I'd rather you ask me for advice instead!"
[08:31] Tatsu
Don't worry. It's a Famitsu cross-review.
[08:33] Sign
"A lot of guys like to complain about
useless senpai at work. Good choice!"
[08:34] Yamada
It's Famitsu?!
[08:35] Basue
Oh, we want something different.
[08:39] Akemi
Worry more!
[08:40] Akemi
Empathize with those who want
to give you advice!
[08:44] Yamada
Do you actually intend to give me any advice?
[08:48] Yamada
Then...
[08:49] Yamada
Recently, I haven't been exercising,
and I'm not sure whether to
[08:53] Yamada
go jogging or just sign up for a gym.
[08:55] Yamada
How's that?
[08:57] Akemi
What kind of situation is that?!
[08:59] Akemi
You should just start with jogging and then
[09:01] Akemi
think about whether you want
to go to a gym or not!
[09:02] Akemi
You're on the same level
as a fatass pondering
[09:05] Akemi
"What kind of diet should I start
tomorrow?" while eating pizza!
[09:08] Yamada
Why are you so egotistical
about this consultation?
[09:11] Tatsu
I'm also pondering whether
I should go to a gym or not.
[09:13] Yamada
What?
[09:15] Tatsu
That has a pool.
[09:17] Yamada
Why is everyone trying to one up my worries?!
[09:20] Yamada
And weren't you just saying "customers can
freely talk about whatever they want"?
[09:25] Yamada
You're dragging it out of me right now.
[09:27] Akemi
Okay, but...
[09:30] Basue
Who remembers what they
discussed while drinking?
[09:33] Akemi and Basue
We certainly don't!
[09:35] Yamada
You said so earlier while posing like that.
[09:38] Yamada
Besides, coming up with a good
situation is really hard.
[09:43] Yamada
Tatsu-ni... -san, do you have any worries?
[09:46] Tatsu
Oh, you called me by my name.
[09:50] Yamada
You're responding like you're
my stepdad or something.
[09:52] Tatsu
Hm.. well.
[09:55] Tatsu
My worries are... hm.
[09:59] Tatsu
Why I'm even coming to a
snack bar like this one?
[10:02] Akemi
Tatsu-ni. You can't mean that. Oh man.
[10:08] Sign
The End
[10:09] Yamada
You can't end it like this!
[10:10] Akemi
Oh, but Tatsu-ni's worries were just right.
[10:15] Yamada
Really?
[10:17] Akemi
Yep, really.
[10:19] Yamada
Aren't you being a bit biased
towards your regular customers?
[10:22] Akemi
That's not true. As proof,
[10:27] Akemi
the booze is going down
smoothly! Very smoothly!
[10:30] Yamada
You look like you can't
go on without drinking!
[10:35] Yamada
You keep asking me, but how about you,
Ms. Junior Hostess?
[10:39] Akemi
Just Akemi is fine.
[10:41] Yamada
Akemi... -san, do you have a good one?
[10:47] Akemi
A good one.
[10:49] Akemi
Well... My worry is...
[10:56] Akemi
the never-ending debt that my previous
previous boyfriend laid on me.
[11:17] Basue
Akemi-chan. Your story violates
the heaviness regulations.
SIGN Too Heavy - Overweight
[11:22] Basue
Disqualification.
SIGN A Few
Days Later...
[11:33] Akemi
Yamada-san, right?
SIGN (Everyone has different tastes)
[11:35] Akemi
I honestly didn't think you'd be
back after what happened last time.
[11:41] Yamada
I was thinking the same, but...
[11:44] Yamada
I figured I shouldn't judge any store
just from a single visit, so...
[11:48] Akemi
You're so earnest.
[11:49] Yamada
I get told that a lot.
[11:51] Akemi
By the way...
[11:53] Yamada
Yes?
[11:54] Akemi
What seasonings do you
put on your fried eggs?
[11:57] Yamada
Huh? My fried eggs? Um...
[12:02] Akemi
Poop?
[12:03] Yamada
Even an elementary school kid would
be disgusted by that response.
[12:06] Yamada
Hm... well...
[12:11] Yamada
I think I'd just use salt and
pepper with my fried eggs.
[12:14] Akemi
Which means
[12:17] Akemi
you've been denied your personality
by all those who use soy sauce,
[12:19] Akemi
and you've gone through
tough times, haven't you?
[12:22] Yamada
No, I haven't.
[12:25] Akemi
Haven't you?
[12:27] Yamada
No, I really haven't.
[12:30] Akemi
Haven't you?
SIGN Haven't you?
SIGN Yes
SIGN No
[12:32] Yamada
Oh, is this one of those conversations
that loop until I say yes?
[12:36] Yamada
But I really really haven't.
[12:38] Akemi
You're just not aware of it and
everyone is laughing behind your back.
[12:42] Yamada
Oh, hey, you just denied my personality.
[12:45] Yamada
Besides, I don't have a preference about
how I eat my fried eggs anyway.
[12:49] Yamada
I just eat it them salt
and pepper out of habit.
[12:53] Akemi
Well, that's normal.
[12:55] Akemi
Getting hyped over food is
like pro wrestling, after all.
[12:59] Yamada
Exactly.
[13:00] Akemi
If there really was a person out there who
denied others over how they eat their food...
[13:05] Akemi
They'd be this.
[13:06] Yamada
Please don't needlessly provoke anyone!
[13:09] Yamada
Anyone who gets seriously angry about food
will also get very angry at gestures like that!
[13:13] Akemi
Don't worry!
[13:14] Akemi
If there was anyone like that,
then they'd really be...
[13:17] Akemi
this!
[13:18] Yamada
That's why it's scary!
[13:19] Akemi
Oh, crap... I'm getting scared now.
SIGN Snack
SIGN Basue
SIGN (Men are...)
[13:33] Akemi
Hey, Morita.
[13:34] Akemi
Don't ya have any interesting
stories to tell?
[13:37] Morita
Look at you, slacking off.
[13:37] Sign
Patron, Morita
[13:39] Morita
Telling interesting stories
is your job, Akemi-chan.
[13:44] Akemi
Of course it is.
[13:45] Akemi
That's why, today, I was hoping to get one
[13:48] Akemi
from you and talk about it
with the other customers.
[13:50] Morita
That's called stealing!
[13:53] Basue
Oh, then why don't I tell you about
the first time I ate a macaroon?
[13:58] Akemi
Don't want it.
[14:00] Akemi
Hey, hey, Morita, huh.
[14:00] Basue
D-D-Don't...
[14:02] Akemi
You've got something, don't you?
[14:06] Morita
Well...
[14:09] Morita
Oh yeah, I have something I bought
that I seriously gotta show you.
[14:13] Akemi
What, what?
[14:18] Morita
This. Time Stop app.
[14:28] Morita
The time...
[14:31] Morita
It stopped.
[14:34] Morita
Is this app for real?!
[14:38] Basue
It was so incredibly stupid that...
[14:42] Akemi
We didn't know
[14:44] Akemi
how to react.
[14:48] Akemi
Morita, really? A time stop app?
[14:51] Akemi
What are you thinking?
[14:53] Morita
Isn't it obvious?
[14:56] Morita
Something perverted, of course.
[14:58] Morita
I'm a boy, after all!
[15:00] Akemi
That's not what I meant.
[15:02] Akemi
Why do you fall for the most obvious scams?
[15:06] Morita
A man's got needs, okay?
[15:09] Morita
I'm a boy, after all!
[15:12] Akemi
Stop acting like you represent all men!
[15:14] Morita
I don't know.
[15:16] Morita
Perverted gadgets like these just
tickle a man's interest, you know.
[15:22] Morita
Speaking of which, these glasses too.
[15:25] Morita
Directly imported from France.
[15:28] Morita
They're x-ray glasses that
let you see through clothes!
[15:39] Morita
Oh man, seriously. I paid a
lot of money to buy these.
[15:46] Morita
Well, they're glasses-shaped garbage,
so it's fine, but...
[15:50] Akemi
You're the garbage.
[15:52] Akemi
Seriously, what's up?
[15:54] Akemi
Are you an enemy of women?
[15:57] Morita
Well..
[15:59] Morita
But you know, they say a woman's
enemy is another woman, right?
[16:03] Akemi
They do.
[16:04] Morita
That means I'm the enemy
of woman's enemy.
[16:07] Morita
So that actually makes me an ally!
[16:09] Akemi
I would never form an alliance with you.
[16:13] Akemi
But I'm starting to wonder
what other garbage you have...
[16:16] Morita
That's my Akemi-chan. You're a good woman.
[16:20] Morita
What I have on hand is a supplement
that could make you invisible.
[16:25] Morita
I wanted to become invisible and sneak
into the woman's bath to take a peek.
[16:28] Morita
But after I took it, I got so sick
that I didn't get a chance to do it.
[16:31] Akemi
You don't think by "invisible",
they mean "dead"?
[16:33] Basue
Morita-chan...
[16:36] Basue
Just because you can't get a woman doesn't
mean you should go to these extremes.
[16:40] Morita
You've got it all wrong, hostess.
[16:43] Basue
What?
[16:45] Morita
Even if I were popular with the ladies,
[16:47] Morita
I'd still get these perverted gadgets.
[16:51] Morita
It's because boys
[16:55] Morita
are innately fascinated by tools!
[16:59] Basue
Hm.
[17:00] Akemi
Continue.
[17:02] Morita
Thank you.
[17:03] Morita
For example, I wonder if you'd understand
[17:07] Morita
the fascination we have
with multi-tool knives.
[17:12] Morita
Even if there are tools that
you think you'll never use,
[17:14] Morita
we buy it, and try our best
to come up with ways to use them.
[17:21] Akemi
What, can a multi-tool knife
be used for erotic purposes?
[17:25] Morita
Even if it is a multi-tool knife,
[17:26] Morita
it's a crime to use a
knife for erotic purposes!
[17:29] Akemi
But every tool you've shown us today
is only good for committing crimes!
[17:34] Akemi
But when it comes to being
picky with your tools,
[17:37] Akemi
I'm also picky about
certain brand-name things.
[17:39] Morita
That's different.
[17:41] Morita
You're just choosing brand-name
things to one up people, aren't you?
[17:46] Akemi
You just slyly slid in an insult.
[17:48] Morita
It's different from that.
[17:51] Morita
It's different from how particular
boys are with tools.
[17:55] Morita
We start with trust in the product,
and then it leads us to the brand.
[18:01] Morita
Gadgets are made to be used!
[18:03] Morita
It's a boy's dream to get a hold of those
superb tools and use them for the purpose of erotica!
[18:08] Morita
The romance in it!
[18:12] Basue
This guy...
[18:13] Basue
He was talking idiotic gibberish
this whole time, and now
[18:15] Basue
he's suddenly started explaining
this clever-sounding theory!
[18:25] Akemi
I understand your fascination
with your tools now.
[18:31] Akemi
But, if that's the case...
[18:34] Akemi
then make sure you give your crotch tool
a proper use once in a while, okay?
[18:45] Morita
You know what.
[18:48] Morita
The maintenance for that tool is...
[18:52] Morita
Really perfect.
[18:59] Morita
I wish...
[19:01] Morita
I could use it for the first time...
[19:08] Morita
Hey, Akemi-chan.
[19:10] Akemi
What's up?
[19:12] Morita
Do you think, maybe,
there's a woman out there
[19:16] Morita
who would choose my tool?
[19:19] Akemi
Yeah.
[19:20] Akemi
There are probably girls out there
with bad taste in tools.
[19:26] Morita
Yeah...
[19:28] Morita
You're right...
[19:37] Akemi
Sing.
[19:38] Morita
You know, I'm really feeling
depressed right now.
[19:40] Akemi
Yeah.
[19:41] Morita
I don't think that's something
you should be telling a
[19:43] Morita
customer who's feeling depressed, you know?
[19:45] Akemi
I'm sick of listening to you talk, though.
[19:47] Basue
Akemi-chan. Your true colors are showing,
[19:50] Basue
and that is unacceptable as
a hostess at this snack bar.
[19:52] Akemi
Personally, I think putting obnoxious
customers in a good mood by making them sing
[19:57] Akemi
is a viable strategy for a snack bar.
[19:58] Basue
You're right. It is viable
for obnoxious customers.
[20:02] Morita
I think you guys should realize that you're
being really rude.
[20:07] Morita
Seriously, I can't take this.
[20:09] Akemi
Says the person who's
scrolling through the songs.
[20:12] Morita
I ain't singing.
[20:14] Basue
Oh, you're one of those
people who takes the remote
[20:17] Basue
even though they have no intention
of singing, aren't you?
[20:19] Morita
It's fun to see what other people
have been singing, though.
[20:23] Basue
Oh, I fully agree on that.
[20:26] Morita
You know, it's been a while since
I heard you sing, Akemi-chan.
[20:30] Morita
I want to hear it.
[20:31] Akemi
What? Me?
[20:33] Morita
I haven't heard you sing in a while.
[20:35] Morita
Please sing for me.
[20:37] Akemi
Ten thousand yen.
[20:39] Morita
I don't know what the ten
thousand yen is for, but...
[20:41] Basue
Morita-chan, you shouldn't
reach for your wallet.
[20:46] Morita
Come on, please?
[20:47] Morita
Please brighten my day with a song.
[20:51] Akemi
Fine...
[20:53] Morita
A song that expresses your love for me, okay?
[20:56] Akemi
There's no song like that.
[21:00] [SONG] Sign
Reserved
SIGN While Listening To Olivia
[21:01] Morita
What a corny selection!
[21:02] Morita
You just chose from the rankings, didn't you?
[21:04] Akemi
This is a snack bar,
so corny songs are allowed!
[21:07] Morita
On top of that, isn't this
the song you said you sing
[21:09] Morita
when you think about your old boyfriend?
[21:11] Akemi
I'll think of him while I sing.
[21:14] Morita
Geez, you don't pull your punches!
[21:17] Akemi
But isn't this a song you like?
[21:20] Morita
Well, I do, but...
[21:23] Akemi
See?
[21:30] Akemi
It's my favorite song.
I'm listening to it by myself.
[21:43] Akemi
* Because Olivia soothes my lonely heart.
[21:58] Akemi
Jasmine tea is a medicine
that helps you sleep.
[22:10] Akemi
I want to end the day, in my
own way, on nights like these.
[22:24] Akemi
When we first met,
[22:28] Akemi
I never imagined a day like this would come.
[22:38] Akemi
Making good things better
[22:41] Akemi
No, it's all in the past.
[22:44] Akemi
Time just passed by.*
[22:50] Akemi
You just fell in love with
my illusion, my tired dear.
[23:08] Morita
It's a good song.
[23:10] Basue
Indeed.
[23:11] Morita
I might be in love with your
illusion too, Akemi-chan.
[23:16] Akemi
Don't say something so scary.
[23:18] Morita
Just spend your time with me for now.
[23:20] Akemi
Does that mean you're coming everyday?
[23:22] Morita
I didn't say it to mean that, but if you're
willing to go out with me, I could.
[23:32] Akemi
Well! Here's your jasmine
tea to sober you up!
[23:35] Morita
You're just trying to end this
conversation by making me fall asleep!
[23:39] Morita
Oh! Does that mean you want to sleep with me?
[23:43] Akemi
That's not what the song is about!
[23:45] Akemi
I said it's to sober you up!
[23:48] Morita
What about after you sober me up?!
E2 - Come Rain or Come Shine / Sweet Baby / Still Waiting
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Snack
Basue
[00:04] Robber
Hey! Didn't you hear me?! Huh?!
[00:07] Robber
You think this is a joke?!
[00:10] Robber
Just hand over the cash!
[00:13] Basue
Oh, I'm sorry. We don't do
salary advances here.
[00:20] Akemi
Yeah. Besides, we haven't even decided
whether we're hiring you yet.
[00:24] Robber
Wha?!
[00:29] Kosame
I... I came...
[00:32] Kosame
I came here to interview
for a part-time job, and...
[00:36] Sign
Kosame Amano
[00:36] Kosame
I got caught up in this mess.
[00:40] Akemi
Do you have any special skills
you take pride in?
[00:43] Robber
If I did, I wouldn't be doing this!
[00:47] Robber
You can't tell just by looking at me?!
[00:50] Robber
I hate to say it, but I do look
the part, don't you think?!
[00:54] Basue
You say you look the part, but...
[00:57] Akemi
You're wearing a mask,
so we can't even see your face.
[01:00] Robber
Are we even talking about the same thing!?
[01:03] Robber
Hey!
[01:04] Robber
You could usually tell, couldn't you?
[01:05] Kosame
Yes.
[01:07] Robber
It's embarrassing.
Please don't make me say it!
[01:10] Basue
Okay, how about we have you
come in twice a week to start?
[01:15] Basue
How's that sound?
[01:16] Robber
The neighborhood crime watch
would have a fit!
[01:19] Kosame
Uh, um... Besides, this person is a man.
[01:24] Kosame
Are you hiring men too?
[01:27] Robber
Nice question!
[01:29] Akemi
You know, I was just discussing
whether we should or not with Mama.
[01:34] Akemi
Lately, it's been getting pretty dangerous
around here, you know?
[01:36] Kosame
If you're aware of that,
why don't you see what's happening?!
[01:39] Robber
That's me! I am the danger!
[01:43] Robber
And even if I were here for an interview,
you need to immediately reject people like me!
[01:51] Akemi
Oh.
[01:52] Robber
Don't point!
[01:53] Basue
Calm down, Akemi-chan.
[01:56] Basue
It's my duty to protect
the girls who work here.
[02:02] Basue
There... Make sure you're done by the time
I finish counting the stains on the ceiling.
[02:06] Robber
Please, I'm begging you.
Just give me the money!
[02:10] Robber
I'm a robber who's just here for the money!
[02:13] Robber
I only want the money!
Give it to me and I won't hurt anyone!
[02:17] Basue
You only want the money...
[02:19] Robber
Yes! I only want the money!
[02:22] Basue
But would you be willing
to take... more?
[02:26] Robber
Is she getting ready to strike
and defend at the same time?!
[02:37] [SONG] Sign
Snack Basue
[02:42] [SONG] Sign
Snack Basue
SIGN (Kosame-chan Clocks In)
[04:01] Robber
Hey, there is seriously something
wrong with these people!
[04:04] Robber
If you want to work at a snack bar,
you should look for another place.
[04:11] Robber
A good snack bar has more kindness and...
how should I put it?
[04:17] Robber
It should have the vibe
that it's a nursery school for old men.
[04:20] Kosame
That is some twisted example.
[04:23] Kosame
Um...
[04:26] Kosame
If you're that into snack bars,
[04:28] Kosame
why did you want to go and rob one?
[04:32] Akemi
Oh, Stockholm syndrome.
[04:34] Basue
Ah, the phenomenon where one becomes
empathetic towards the criminal.
[04:38] Robber
Yeah, you're right...
I'm not even sure what I'm thinking...
[04:45] Robber
No... or maybe I wanted to be
scolded by the snack bar's Mama.
[04:54] Robber
You see, men need to be scolded
in order to understand.
[04:58] Robber
Unless we're shown sympathy,
we can't get back on our feet.
[05:01] Robber
Only with both can we truly become grown men.
[05:10] Robber
Heh, what the heck am I doing, preaching
when I'm not even a customer here?
[05:16] Basue
Oh, but you are.
[05:19] Robber
Huh?
[05:21] Akemi
You didn't notice...
[05:23] Akemi
that you went from being
a "robber" to a "customer?"
[05:25] Akemi
Thanks to Mama's customer service skills?
[05:30] Robber
When did I get this shochu mixed with water?!
[05:34] Kosame
Oh, me too?!
[05:38] Robber
All of that nonsense up until now
was all part of her plan?
[05:44] Robber
I see... so these are the true
customer service skills
[05:50] Robber
of a snack bar Mama!
SIGN Do Do Do Do
[05:52] Kosame
I swear she's using a different kind
of supernatural power!
SIGN Do Do Do
[06:02] Basue
Oh?
[06:04] Basue
So you can see this as well?
[06:07] Kosame
It was the kind of thing
I shouldn't have looked at!
[06:12] Robber
Mama, you'd even treat a guy
like me as a customer, huh?
[06:23] Akemi
You want some katsudon, hm?
[06:24] Kosame
Though, this one is treating you
like a criminal!
[06:30] Basue
You're still young.
[06:33] Basue
You still have a chance to start over in life.
[06:37] Basue
So take off that silly mask and... and...
[06:43] Robber
Mama...
[06:44] Kosame
He looks more over the hill than I expected!
[06:47] Akemi
No, every customer looks young to Mama...
[06:53] Akemi
Yep... it's common in snack bars.
[06:55] Basue
Uhm... If you start now,
you might still have a small...
[06:58] Basue
a small, last chance!
[07:01] Kosame
Oh, that was a hard call, even for Mama!
[07:06] Robber
You're right... I was stupid.
[07:10] Robber
I just messed up once, after all.
[07:14] Robber
Even though in Japanese society
that could mean the end...
[07:19] Robber
Mama, I'm going to give it a try!
[07:25] Robber
The fun conversations
and the harsh scolding...
[07:29] Robber
Thank you for giving me
the best snack bar experience.
[07:32] Robber
I'd like to come back again someday.
SIGN Snack Basue
[07:39] Police
5:21p.m., criminal was arrested
on suspicion of robbery.
[07:43] Police
You have the right to remain silent.
[07:45] Police
Anything you say can and will be
used against you in a court of law.
[07:49] Police
You have the right to an attorney.
[07:52] Police
If you cannot afford an attorney, one will...
[07:55] Robber
Can't I get a little empathy?
SIGN (If it's sweet love, then...)
[08:05] Yamada
Akemi-san.
[08:06] Akemi
Hm?
[08:08] Yamada
What do you think of a man
who eats crepes by himself?
[08:12] Akemi
What?!
[08:13] Akemi
A man...
[08:15] Akemi
by himself...
[08:18] Akemi
eating a crepe?!
[08:19] Yamada
What's with that reaction?
[08:21] Akemi
Um... Crepe... Crepe...
[08:25] Akemi
C... Rape? Is the answer "sex offender"?
[08:29] Yamada
Unfortunately, that wasn't a riddle.
[08:31] Akemi
Bummer. Then I don't think anything of it.
[08:35] Yamada
Just as I thought...
[08:37] Yamada
You see, I had this huge
craving for one today, but...
[08:41] Yamada
I was too embarrassed to stand in line.
[08:44] Yamada
I know no one cares,
but I ended up not getting one.
[08:49] Basue
My, that's tough.
[08:51] Basue
There are a lot of men who are
bothered by that, aren't there?
[08:56] Yamada
I understand, but...
[08:59] Akemi
Well, I think you should just go and eat it...
[09:18] Akemi
You should learn to be ashamed.
SIGN Snack Basue
[09:22] Basue
Snack Basue.
SIGN (I dream of you)
[09:32] Morita
Hurry it up!
[09:33] Morita
Give me one more!
[09:34] Akemi
Hey, Morita, you're drinking too much.
[09:37] Akemi
You should stop there.
[09:42] Akemi
It's not good to drink your
sorrows away. What happened?
[09:47] Morita
Why... why...
[09:51] Akemi
Why?
[09:53] Morita
Why can't I be popular with the ladies?!
[09:58] Akemi
I'll make it extra strong for you.
[10:00] Morita
Don't run away and face me!
[10:02] Morita
Women of the night!
[10:04] Morita
You know you're never going to meet
Prince Charming riding a white horse,
[10:07] Morita
so let me ride you, instead!
[10:09] Basue
Oh, if only you were born
a worm and not a human.
[10:17] Akemi
A prince riding on a white horse, huh...
[10:21] Akemi
You know, not everyone dreams of that.
[10:31] Morita
Is something wrong with the entrance?
[10:36] Akemi
No... but they say when you have
conversations like these, they come.
[10:40] Morita
No. That's ghosts that come when
you talk about them.
[10:51] Morita
Fine, why don't we
talk about sluts instead?
[10:53] Akemi
I think we should talk about the police.
[10:56] Basue
Besides, a prince on
a white horse is so outdated.
[11:01] Akemi
Yeah, that's true.
[11:03] Basue
These days, wouldn't it be a billionaire
in a luxury car?
[11:08] Akemi
No. If he's a prince, wouldn't it be
more like the son of a billionaire?
[11:13] Akemi
A son who's riding in a luxury car that
his wealthy parents bought him.
SIGN My dad is really important!
SIGN The lazy bad boy you often see on the internet.
SIGN BonBonTV
SIGN BonBonTV
[11:18] Basue
BonBonTV!
[11:21] Morita
But you'd still be happy if someone
like that came to pick you up, right?
[11:28] Akemi
I'd think he was a big scammer.
[11:30] Morita
Oh, right on.
[11:32] Morita
I never would have expected
that answer from a woman
[11:35] Morita
carrying a huge debt from her ex-boyfriend.
[11:37] Akemi
Barley gets stronger the more you step on it.
[11:40] Akemi
Besides, even if the economy's bad,
life in Japan's still way better than it used to be.
[11:45] Akemi
Luxury cars and wealthy families...
Nobody these days cares about that stuff.
[11:49] Morita
Then what do you think the current
version of a prince on a white horse is?
[11:56] Akemi
Hm...
[11:58] Akemi
Well, first, I wouldn't want anyone riding
on something grand like a white horse.
[12:03] Akemi
I'd even go as far as to say that men
who are into cars are obnoxious.
[12:06] Akemi
So I'd prefer someone who drives a regular car.
[12:08] Morita
But women who say that tend to hate Kei cars.
[12:12] Akemi
As for my prince's job, I'd say
he'd need to make just enough
[12:15] Akemi
so that I could one-up all the other married
woman in my neighborhood.
SIGN My husband's
monthly income
SIGN is 530,000
yen.
[12:19] Akemi
My husband's monthly income is 530,000 yen.
[12:22] Morita
Wow, that would make you an absolute bitch!
[12:25] Morita
You know, Akemi-chan.
That's not what I'm talking about!
[12:29] Morita
I'm saying, when you're talking
about a prince on a white horse,
[12:30] Morita
it should have more romance, you know?
[12:33] Akemi
Huh? We're talking about wanting to be
pampered by a convenient, handsome man, right?
[12:36] Morita
Greedy!
[12:38] Morita
Aw man, then seriously,
[12:40] Morita
I'd rather have a girl who's really
waiting for her true prince to come.
[12:43] Morita
She'd at least have a cute side to her.
[12:46] Akemi
There you go again.
[12:48] Akemi
Morita, you have this weird idea that
[12:51] Akemi
all women are waiting for
a prince to take them away.
[12:55] Akemi
When, in fact, you're just wanting
these girls to be dreamers.
[12:59] Akemi
You're only projecting.
[13:03] Akemi
Don't you have it in you to make an effort
to be that prince on a white horse,
[13:08] Akemi
instead of complaining about it?!
[13:10] Akemi
Don't you have that desire?!
[13:15] Morita
It's not that... I don't.
[13:18] Morita
It's not that I don't.
[13:23] Morita
When my school...
[13:24] Akemi
When your school...?
[13:26] Morita
When my school is being
taken over by terrorists,
[13:29] Morita
and there's this girl I like
in my class being taken hostage...
[13:32] Morita
Somehow a bunch of stuff happens,
and I save her!
[13:35] Morita
I used to have fantasies about that!
[13:38] Akemi
The heck is he talking about?
[13:43] Morita
There are three terrorists.
[13:45] Morita
They're armed with guns,
but obviously, their odds aren't so great
[13:50] Morita
once they think of challenging me.
[13:52] Morita
At first, I calmly watch it play out, but...
[13:57] School Morita
Look at those amateurs,
leaving themselves wide open.
[14:00] Morita
And after I thought that,
it all went down fast.
[14:09] Morita
Instant death.
[14:21] Terrorist
He disa—?!
[14:29] Classmate 1
Wow.
[14:30] Classmate 2
What Morita did...
[14:31] Classmate 3
For real?
[14:32] Classmate 4
Man, he's good.
[14:34] Girl he likes
Morita-kun... Just who are you?
[14:40] Morita
And that's how I save the girl.
[14:42] Akemi
Morita... just how much of a virgin are you?
[14:46] Basue
Morita-chan, there's just no way
you'd be able to dodge bullets.
[14:50] Basue
Can we come up with a new story where you use
wit and ingenuity to save the day?
[14:55] Morita
What are you talking about?
[14:57] Morita
I could totally dodge them!
[14:58] Morita
That's because I was usually one of the last
ones standing when we played dodgeball!
[15:04] Morita
Everyone was so afraid of how agile I was
that they didn't dare to throw the ball.
[15:10] Morita
Besides, if you pay attention to which way
the muzzle is facing and their killer instinct,
[15:14] Morita
you're not gonna get hit by a bullet.
[15:17] Morita
It's easy peasy, lemon squeezy, as they say!
Piece of cake!
[15:35] Akemi
...is what happened yesterday.
[15:37] Tatsu
It's hard to follow when you
lay a story on me like that.
[15:41] Tatsu
I just sat down and haven't
even gotten a drink yet.
[15:44] Tatsu
Just give me a rough summary of it, will ya?
[15:47] Akemi
A girl who lived a peaceful
life meets a young man.
[15:52] Akemi
She learns the existence
of doors that can bring disaster
[15:54] Akemi
and sets out on a journey to close said doors.
[15:55] Tatsu
That's a summary of another anime!
[15:57] Girl and boy
Please, I ask of you!
[15:58] Akemi
And so, I had a conversation with Morita
about princes on white horses yesterday.
[16:05] Tatsu
And why is that?
[16:07] Akemi
It seems boys like to think that girls want
to be picked up by a prince on a white horse.
[16:14] Akemi
But I was wondering, what about boys?
[16:16] Akemi
That's what I wanted to ask you, Tatsu-ni.
[16:19] Tatsu
Oh, I see.
[16:21] Tatsu
And what did Morita-chan have to say about that?
[16:25] Akemi
The dumbest shit you've ever heard.
[16:26] Tatsu
I can guess!
[16:30] Tatsu
Hm... A prince on a white horse, huh...
[16:37] Tatsu
Yeah, I can relate.
[16:39] Akemi
What?
[16:40] Tatsu
I want a prince on a white horse...
[16:44] Tatsu
to come and get me too!
[16:49] Akemi
Oh, I'm sorry. I asked it in a bad way.
[16:53] Akemi
Um, that's not it. If a girl
is waiting for a prince, right?
[16:59] Akemi
Would you want to be that prince
and go and get the girl, is what I was asking.
[17:06] Tatsu
No, I'd rather he come...
[17:11] Tatsu
and get me!
[17:13] Akemi
Huh?
[17:14] Basue
It's simple, Akemi-chan.
[17:17] Basue
After all that, it just means girls
and boys desire the same things.
[17:21] Basue
They just want to believe in an easy fantasy.
[17:25] Akemi
Ah, I see... Like stories where
a pretty girl suddenly falls from the sky?
[17:31] Tatsu
You're so off.
[17:33] Tatsu
A story about a prince coming for you
[17:35] Tatsu
and a girl falling from the sky
are completely different.
[17:40] Akemi
So what kind of story do you like?
[17:43] Tatsu
I want a...
[17:46] Tatsu
prince to come and get me!
[17:48] Akemi
Is this conversation a dud too?
[17:51] Basue
Tatsu-ni, I didn't know you swung that way.
[17:55] Tatsu
Quickly assuming that it's related
to sex is what ignorant hussies say.
[18:00] Tatsu
I don't know if you'd understand.
[18:02] Tatsu
It's just like how girls adore
their favorite female idols.
[18:06] Tatsu
Boys adore their favorite male idols, too.
[18:10] Basue
Oh, is it like the "I really want to become
close with my favorite idol" sort of thing?
[18:16] Akemi
But princes usually prioritize girls
over old men, so just let it go, okay.
[18:22] Tatsu
Everyone has the right to adore someone!
[18:25] Tatsu
Besides, when a prince comes to get me,
[18:31] Tatsu
I am the princess!
[18:36] Akemi
Is a story about a cursed princess being turned
into an old man being written right now?
[18:42] Basue
Are you sure it isn't an old man
being cursed into thinking he's a princess?
[18:46] Akemi
Gross.
[18:48] Tatsu
Am I Medusa or something?
[18:50] Tatsu
Come on, you two.
[18:53] Tatsu
Princesses are not
exclusive to girls, you know!
[18:57] Akemi
I feel like I just added fuel to the fire.
[19:01] Tatsu
If you're going to judge
an old man for adoring princesses,
[19:05] Tatsu
it's the same as if you were to judge a boy
for choosing a girl character in a game
[19:07] Tatsu
and call him a pervert for doing so.
[19:09] Tatsu
That's how low you're going.
[19:10] Child
Pervert! Pervert!
[19:12] Tatsu
You shouldn't try to understand
something by forcing it to fit your values.
[19:19] Morita
But I've always chosen girl characters
so I could put them in their pervy costumes.
[19:24] Tatsu
Morita-chan.
[19:27] Morita
Akemi-chan, I've been thinking
about it since yesterday.
[19:32] Morita
I'm here to be that prince,
and I've come to get you.
[19:36] Akemi
That's what I've been waiting for!
[19:36] [SONG] Sign
Ideal Development
[19:37] Basue
Ideal Development!
[19:39] Morita
Really?!
[19:41] Morita
So, Akemi-chan, you were the kind
of princess to wait for a prince, after all.
[19:46] Akemi
Nope, the princess is over here.
[19:48] Morita
Huh?
[19:49] Morita
Tatsu-ni?
[19:52] Akemi
Tatsu-ni is a cursed princess
who got turned into an old man!
[19:56] Morita
The heck are you talking about?
[19:58] Akemi
In order to break the spell,
he needs a kiss from the prince.
[20:02] Morita
The heck are you talking about?
[20:03] Akemi
All right, Morita! Give Tatsu-ni
that kiss and break the curse!
[20:09] Basue
Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.
[20:14] Akemi
Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.
[20:24] Tatsu
Kill me.
[20:25] Morita
Are you a princess knight or something?
[20:36] Morita
Yeah, kisses are meant to be saved
for someone special.
[20:42] Akemi
Are we still talking about that?
[20:46] Tatsu
I can understand that.
[20:48] Akemi
Your maiden act is still
going on, too, Tatsu-ni?
[20:52] Tatsu
Well, don't people say kisses are different?
[20:59] Akemi
Hey, Tatsu-ni,
[21:01] Akemi
I know you're preaching about how it's okay
to give your body, but not the kiss.
[21:05] Akemi
But you're already making a worthless
statement by saying your body is okay.
[21:09] Tatsu
Yeah, come to think of it!
[21:12] Akemi
Come on, sing a song, and let's switch gears.
[21:17] Tatsu
You're right...
[21:21] Tatsu
But what should I sing?
[21:24] Akemi
Ah, you're that type who can't
come up with what to sing, huh.
[21:28] Akemi
Hmm. Then, how about
you sing Chiharu Matsuyama?
[21:32] Tatsu
Oh, yeah. He's from Hokkaido.
[21:36] [SONG] Sign
Reserved
SIGN Long Night
[21:36] Akemi
I like this song. You understand me, Tatsu-ni.
[21:41] Tatsu
Right?
[21:50] Tatsu
I'm going to hold my mic up high too.
[21:52] Morita
Oh, just like Chiharu Matsuyama.
[21:56] Tatsu
I sway to love as
[22:04] Tatsu
our hearts become one.
[22:11] Tatsu
I only chase after you.
[22:25] Tatsu
Come here. Close by my side.
[22:40] Tatsu
I'll give you a burning, passionate kiss.
[22:55] Tatsu
I want to spend the long night away.
[23:09] Tatsu
I vow to only love you.
[23:28] Tatsu
Embraced in each other's arms,
[23:35] Tatsu
the two of us are left flustered.
[23:43] Tatsu
A burning, passionate kiss, huh... Sounds nice.
[23:47] Akemi
You're still planning on dragging it out?
[23:49] ---
E3 - You're Still My Brother / As The Years Go Passing By / Try Me
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:04] Store employee
Thank you very much!
[00:06] Kazama
Woohoo!
SIGN Former Group Bibai
Yakitori Mifune
[00:10] Kazama
All right, Yamada-kun! Let's go another round!
[00:14] Yamada
Thank you for your hard work. Good night.
[00:15] Kazama
Wha?!
[00:17] Yamada
Kazama-san.
[00:18] Kazama
Yeah, what's up?
[00:19] Yamada
If you're going to a cabaret,
please go by yourself.
[00:20] Kazama
Wha?!
[00:22] Yamada
I have already fulfilled
my obligation to drink and mingle.
[00:25] Kazama
Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.
[00:28] Kazama
Aren't you being an awful sport?
[00:30] Yamada
And that is exactly why
I'm being an awful sport.
[00:36] Kazama
All right, I get you.
[00:40] Kazama
I solicit! I solicit!
[00:42] Yamada
Please look up the word before using it.
SIGN Mifune Bibai
Yakitori
[00:46] Kazama
I... beg of you.
[00:49] Yamada
I can't believe you've managed
to ask properly despite being drunk.
[00:54] Yamada
All right... As long as it's not
a cabaret, I'll tag along.
[00:58] Yamada
Woohoo! Then!
[01:02] Yamada
Let's go to a snack bar!
[01:12] [SONG] Sign
Snack Basue
[01:17] [SONG] Sign
Snack Basue
SIGN (If it's for you, my cutie)
SIGN Snack Basue
[02:39] Kazama
Oh, so this is the place.
[02:41] Kazama
Your favorite snack bar, huh, Yamada?
[02:43] Yamada
Even though I said favorite,
I've only been here two or three times.
[02:47] Kazama
Whatever. Let's go in.
[02:52] Kazama
Hell— Oh!
[03:00] Kazama
Woohoo! They're open!
[03:07] Yamada
Not in a good way!
[03:09] Akemi
Mama! We have customers!
[03:12] Yamada
Um, I think you should stop shaking
someone with a head wound...
[03:17] Basue
Welcome! Here is a towel for you!
[03:22] Yamada
Please use it first!
[03:24] Yamada
Kazama-san, I don't think this bar is...
[03:34] Yamada
He just made a run for it.
[03:35] Basue
Oh, you're that customer who came before.
[03:40] Basue
Feel free to relax and enjoy.
[03:43] Basue
And...
[03:46] Basue
Good-bye.
SIGN Sudden departure...!
[03:56] Akemi
And what do you want to drink?
[03:58] Yamada
She just laughed it off!
[03:59] Yamada
No... I don't think I could drink after that.
[04:04] Yamada
I'm going home.
[04:05] Akemi
I solicit! I solicit!
[04:07] Yamada
Why is everyone misusing that word?
[04:10] Yamada
Well, anyway, the person
I was with went home, so...
[04:15] Basue
Now that the obnoxious senpai is gone,
you could relax more, no?
[04:21] Yamada
Oh, I'm glad you're okay.
And could you please stop reading my mind?
[04:25] Basue
Now, now. See?
[04:28] Basue
It looks like your senpai
got worried and came back.
[04:35] Yamada
What happened, Kazama-san?
[04:37] Akemi
Oh, just in case,
I installed a scissor trap outside.
[04:42] Yamada
Scissor traps are strictly illegal,
no matter what you use them for!
[04:45] Akemi
Well, what do you want me to do
about it? Bears could come out.
[04:48] Yamada
Yeah, then, I guess...
[04:50] Yamada
Wait, bears don't come out here!
[04:52] Basue
Now, now. Calm down. Calm down.
[04:57] Basue
For now... allow me to introduce myself.
[05:03] Basue
I am Basue, the hostess.
[05:06] Akemi
And I'm Akemi, the junior hostess.
[05:10] Basue
Oh, or perhaps a dying person
doesn't need to know my name?
[05:16] Yamada
Um, you're both bleeding profusely,
so shouldn't you guys go to the hospital?
[05:20] Basue
It seems his heart can't handle
my charm and is about to burst.
[05:29] Kazama
Seeking connection with women through
the suspension bridge effect!
[05:32] Yamada
You are way too desperate to leave
offspring when you're about to die.
[05:36] Basue
Oh, my, my. Come now.
[05:40] Basue
There, there. Relax and breathe.
[05:46] Kazama
Okay.
[05:47] Basue
Here we go. Hee Hee Blow.
[05:51] Kazama
La. Ma. Ze!
[05:53] Basue
Hee Hee Blow.
[05:55] Kazama
La. Ma. Ze!
[05:56] Yamada
He looks like he's trying
to give birth to something?!
[05:57] Basue
Hee Hee Blow.
[05:59] Kazama
La. Ma. Ze!
[06:05] Kazama
This snack bar is pretty good.
[06:07] Yamada
The context before and after this
doesn't bother you?
[06:10] Akemi
The context before and after?
[06:11] Yamada
Huh?
[06:12] Akemi
The context before and after
sounds kind of obscene.
[06:17] Yamada
Was it even necessary to add that?
[06:20] Akemi
That was... that was...
that was... totally obscene.
[06:24] Yamada
What kind of song is that?
[06:25] Akemi
An obscene song.
[06:27] Yamada
What do you mean by that?
[06:28] Akemi {in background}
Nah, I'm just messing with you.
It's an original.
[06:30] Kazama
I was surprised when Yamada
told me he went to a snack bar, but...
[06:32] Yamada
I didn't say anything.
[06:34] Kazama
I see now.
[06:37] Kazama
He's going after the junior hostess!
[06:41] Kazama
Yamada, I guess you're a boy after all.
[06:43] Yamada
Why are you quietly staring at me? Creeper.
[06:47] Kazama
All right! For my cute underling,
[06:52] Kazama
I'll give him a hand, no, a whole body!
[06:54] Yamada
Why are you stripping?!
[06:56] Kazama
I need to get myself pumped up.
[06:58] Yamada
I have no idea what you're about to do, but
[07:00] Yamada
don't you think you're going
a bit far looking like that?
[07:07] Kazama
I'm going to blow a blessing senpai wind...
SIGN Senpai Whirlwind
[07:10] Kazama
I'm going to stick them together and perform
a flash mob for them at their wedding!
[07:18] Kazama
Oh, I just want to make sure, though.
Do you like flash mobs?
[07:21] Yamada
What are you even making sure of?
[07:23] Kazama
Well, you know.
[07:26] Yamada
Not in the slightest.
[07:27] Kazama
Well, you guys understand, right?
[07:30] Akemi
I haven't got the slightest clue what you're
trying to say, but I don't like flash mobs.
[07:37] Akemi
I like surprises, but like...
[07:42] Akemi
I just don't like them, you know?
[07:45] Akemi
it's like how even the Sapporo citizens
have mixed reviews
[07:49] Akemi
about the YOSAKOI Soran Festival?
[07:51] Yamada
You just dissed your
local festival out of the blue!
[07:54] Yamada
I get that people who don't like flash
mobs also wouldn't like YOSAKOI, but!
[07:59] Basue
Is this a conversation that everyone
in the country can understand?
[08:03] Akemi
But...
[08:03] Basue
I like it! There are people here
who like flash mobs too!
[08:08] Akemi
But...
[08:09] Yamada
I stand neutral on this! Why don't we just
quit while we're balanced.
[08:14] Akemi
But...
[08:14] Yamada and Basue
You're still going on?!
[08:16] Kazama
Stare...
[08:20] Yamada
Man, that was troublesome. Seriously...
[08:20] Kazama
You know, Yamada seems to be...
[08:22] Kazama
getting along with the hostess
more than the junior hostess.
[08:26] Kazama
What? Could it be...?
[08:29] Kazama
Is he after her*?!
[08:34] Kazama
Come to think of it,
he does look like a grandma's boy...
[08:38] Yamada
What is it? Why are you staring at me, creeper?
[08:42] Kazama
So he likes the overly mature woman, huh.
[08:46] Kazama
Let me try to ask in a sly way.
[08:48] Kazama
Hey, are you the type who likes 8-bit art
[08:50] Kazama
even though you weren't born
during the Famicon era?
[08:52] Yamada
Seriously, what is this all about?
[08:55] Yamada
I don't particularly have a preference, but...
[08:58] Akemi
But games with 8-bit art
[09:00] Akemi
look more fun than those with
mediocre graphics, don't you think?
[09:03] Basue
No,
[09:05] Basue
in fact, these half-baked 8-bit "style"
games are missing the mark.
[09:09] Basue
I know these developers
are trying to recreate the "style,"
[09:12] Basue
but I can see through their half-ass
attempts and it's not the same.
[09:18] Basue
I think the greatest thing
about 8-bit, from back then,
[09:20] Basue
is the artistry that is built on a balance
that is at the very limits of
[09:25] Basue
achieving the highest quality within
the technical constraints of the time.
[09:31] Yamada
Please shut up.
[09:32] Kazama
Hmm...
[09:35] Yamada
By the way, is the wound on your leg all right?
[09:37] Kazama
I'm still not quite sure...
[09:40] Yamada
I still can't figure out what all these
questions have to do with...
[09:45] Kazama
That means you're not satisfied with pictures
that have a vintage filter either, right?
[09:49] Yamada
That's why I'm asking, with what?!
[09:51] Basue
The beauty behind vintage items
is the sense of romance
[09:53] Basue
you feel with the passage of time, after all.
[09:56] Akemi
But wouldn't they be considered used items then?
[09:59] Akemi
I'd prefer to have a brand new,
re-released version instead.
[10:03] Basue
Could you really call a re-released
version the real deal?
[10:06] Yamada
Geez, another pain in the ass topic.
[10:10] Yamada
Seriously, Senpai, what is going on?!
[10:12] Yamada
Why are you asking me all these questions?!
[10:15] Kazama
Yamada...!
[10:18] Kazama
Let's just come clean once and for all.
[10:22] Yamada
W-With what?
[10:25] Kazama
The hostess and the junior hostess...
[10:29] Kazama
Which one are you going after?!
[10:36] Yamada
So it comes down to this BS. What a pain.
[10:37] Kazama
What's up?
[10:43] Yamada
Kazama-san...
[10:45] Yamada
I think you've had one too many.
[10:47] Yamada
Let's just go home for today.
[10:48] Kazama
Why are you dodging the question?
[10:51] Yamada
You're still bleeding from your leg, too!
[10:53] Kazama
And what?!
[10:55] Yamada
Not "and what!"
[10:57] Kazama
Besides, you're always, always on my-!
[11:03] Yamada
Kazama-san, are you slacking off again?
[11:03] Kazama
Yamada always, always...
stayed... by my side...
[11:06] Yamada
Kazama-san...
[11:15] Kazama
N...
[11:16] Yamada
N?
[11:18] Kazama
No way.
[11:20] Yamada
No way?
[11:23] Kazama
No way... Are you after me?!
[11:27] Akemi
He really is a pain in the ass.
SIGN (Straight to my heart)
[11:50] Akemi
Here you go...
[11:54] Akemi
Shochu... mixed with water.
[11:57] Tatsu-ni
Booze tastes better when you
drink in a cozy environment.
[12:05] Tatsu-ni
Yeah, it's shochu mixed with water.
[12:08] Basue
Well, of course it is.
[12:10] Tatsu-ni
By the way, I saw a kids' movie
yesterday at the theater.
[12:14] Akemi
Uh-huh.
[12:15] Tatsu-ni
And I ended up bawling my eyes out there.
[12:19] Basue
Oh my.
[12:20] Tatsu-ni
Oh man, my tear ducts
sure have loosened over the years...
[12:24] Basue
Indeed, people tend to cry more
when they grow older.
[12:29] Akemi
Ah, yeah, I've heard that before.
[12:32] Tatsu-ni
Man, I've certainly gotten old.
[12:36] Akemi
But, well, whatever the case,
[12:38] Akemi
kids' movies tend to be more
straightforward with their messages.
[12:42] Akemi
So naturally they make you want to cry the most.
[12:43] Tatsu-ni
That's what I'm talking about, Akemi-chan!
[12:47] Tatsu-ni
The movie I watched was about a boy
who meets a strange creature,
[12:51] Tatsu-ni
and they go on an adventure
together all summer and...
[12:53] Akemi
How corny.
[12:55] Tatsu-ni
First, the scene starts off
with their everyday lives...
[13:00] Tatsu-ni
Everyday life!
[13:03] Akemi
Man, I don't want to get old.
[13:08] Basue
It must have been a very good story
if it's making you cry this much.
[13:12] Basue
Here you go.
[13:13] Tatsu-ni
It's more so...
[13:15] Tatsu-ni
the opening scene of a kids' movie
where they show their everyday lives
[13:19] Tatsu-ni
that makes me weep...
[13:22] Akemi
Is that even considered
the beginning of the story?
[13:25] Tatsu-ni
There's nothing happier than
a normal day where nothing happens.
[13:29] Akemi
What I'm saying is, instead of
at the beginning of a story,
[13:32] Akemi
you're supposed to grasp that
at the end of a story!
[13:34] Akemi
Besides, if that's the type of movie you saw,
[13:38] Akemi
that moment would be where the boy
befriends the strange creature.
[13:41] Alien
Friend...
[13:42] Akemi
Or during the last scene, when they're
parting ways or something.
[13:44] Alien
Good-bye...
[13:45] Akemi
Aren't those the scenes
you should be crying over?
[13:47] Tatsu-ni
Of course...
[13:49] Tatsu-ni
I cried over those as well!
[13:50] Akemi
So you were just crying the whole time...
[13:53] Tatsu-ni
When you grow older, you become
weak to the nostalgic feel of things.
[13:59] Akemi
I'm still very young,
so I wouldn't know, but...
[14:02] Akemi
If you're crying that much about nostalgia,
are you struggling right now?
[14:07] Tatsu-ni
No, this isn't crying from sadness...
[14:12] Tatsu-ni
Crying from nostalgia doesn't necessarily mean
[14:15] Tatsu-ni
I'm regretting something from the past
and feeling like a failure in life.
[14:23] Tatsu-ni
It's that there's nothing happier
than experiencing a life
[14:27] Tatsu-ni
where I can be so moved by a kids' movie.
[14:31] Akemi
Visually, he just looks like he's in hell.
[14:33] Tatsu-ni {background}
Nothing more, I tell you...!
[14:35] Basue
I must say...
[14:37] Basue
I could understand
crying from nostalgia, but...
[14:44] Akemi
Isn't Tatsu-ni's crying a bit too much?
[14:47] Tatsu-ni
No, it's not!
[14:49] Tatsu-ni
I'm just slightly more sensitive
than others, that's all!
[14:52] Akemi
Your sensitivity level is the same as
a drugged girl from an erotic manga!
[14:56] Erotic girl from manga
I'm so pissed! But I can't stop feeling it!
[15:00] Tatsu-ni
Is it really that bad?
SIGN Snack Basue
[15:03] Tatsu-ni
Snack Basue.
SIGN (To the one I've fallen for)
[15:12] Kosame
My name is Kosame Amano.
[15:15] Kosame
I'm a permanent part-timer.
[15:17] Kosame
And by chance, I'm working at a snack bar.
[15:25] Azuma
Mama, you hired a good girl.
[15:29] Basue
Why, thank you.
[15:31] Azuma
Her innocence tickles a man's heart.
[15:36] Azuma
But...
[15:37] Azuma
My favorite is definitely you, Akemi.
[15:41] Akemi
My, I'm happy to hear that.
[15:43] Azuma
Tonight I'm going to finally
make you... fall for me.
[15:48] Kosame
Classy.
[15:50] Akemi
I look forward to it...
And exactly how do you intend to do that?
[15:55] Azuma
With...
[15:58] Azuma
This! Love Guru Douglas Hamada's exclusive book
for mailing list members only!
SIGN Secret
[16:02] Azuma
"Secret Techniques: How To Guarantee
A Shot With The Bar Girl!"
[16:10] Azuma
If I follow his exact instructions,
I'm guaranteed to make a girl fall for me!
[16:13] Azuma
It's a prophetic book, I tell ya.
[16:15] Kosame
U-Um...
[16:18] Kosame
Shouldn't you keep those love manuals
[16:21] Kosame
a secret from the person you're using them on?
[16:25] Azuma
Doesn't showing this dubious book express how
serious I am about making her fall for me?
[16:31] Kosame
Forget serious! She's bound to run
from how desperate you are!
[16:35] Akemi
Well, why don't you give it a try?
[16:38] Akemi
Use Douglas Hamada's "Secret Techniques:
How To Guarantee A Shot With The Bar Girl!"
[16:45] Akemi
I'll teach you that there's
no such thing as a guarantee!
[16:50] Kosame
She's sounding like a strong warrior.
[16:55] Azuma
Here I go...
[16:57] Azuma
Lesson one.
[17:00] Azuma
"Send the lady a flower."
[17:02] Basue
A flower present!
[17:05] Basue
It's a popular gesture
men do to make their move,
[17:08] Basue
but often backfires because of its
association with narcissistic men.
[17:12] Basue
However, there's a twist.
[17:15] Basue
When men do it, it pleasantly surprises
the girl, because no man dares to do it!
[17:20] Basue
On top of that, he purposefully
sends a single flower
[17:23] Basue
instead of a bouquet to downplay it.
[17:27] Basue
He's good...
[17:29] Kosame
But do you really think she'd fall for it
when there's no romantic mood at all?
[17:37] Kosame
H-Hey, Akemi-san! Aren't you
falling a bit too easily?!
[17:41] Azuma
That flower is a white jasmine...
[17:43] Azuma
It represents...
[17:46] Azuma
lust.
[17:50] Kosame
Your reaction is starting to look like
someone from a food manga!
[17:54] Kosame
N-No way... Do they really fall, even after
you've given away your techniques?!
SIGN Secret
[17:59] Azuma
Incredible... You're incredible,
Douglas Hamada!
[18:03] Akemi
Douglas Hamada!
[18:05] Kosame
Wait! She's falling for Douglas Hamada!
[18:08] Basue
Well, technically, Douglas Hamada
was the one who gave her that flower.
[18:14] Kosame
Um, but he didn't?
[18:17] Azuma
As expected of you,
Love Guru Douglas Hamada.
[18:20] Azuma
I feel like you've subconsciously
taken over my body.
[18:23] Kosame
That sounds wrong too!
[18:26] Akemi
Not good, not good!
[18:27] Kosame
Akemi-san?
[18:29] Akemi
I'm a hostess.
[18:31] Akemi
A bar girl.
[18:33] Akemi
Falling for booze and love...
[18:36] Akemi
is not allowed.
[18:37] Kosame
But is it all right for your face
to fall like that?
[18:42] Azuma
There's no way you can
escape from Douglas Hamada.
SIGN Secret
[18:45] Kosame
What are you to Douglas Hamada, anyway?
[18:50] Akemi
You've had your way up until now
[18:53] Akemi
but it's time for my counterattack.
[18:59] Akemi
Eat it!
[19:00] Akemi
Love Maestro MacArthur Matsumoto's
informational DVD,
[19:03] Akemi
"Easy Watch and Learn: Guaranteed
Ways Not to Fall for a Customer.
[19:06] Akemi
A Manual of Tricks for
Bar Girls—Advanced Level!"
[19:09] Kosame
It's too niche of a product!
[19:11] Akemi
To think the day would come
to put these tricks to use...
[19:16] Kosame
Geez, use a player or something
to read it, for crying out loud.
[19:19] Azuma
Hmph, MacArthur Matsumoto...
A worthy opponent!
[19:25] Akemi
Douglas Hamada,
I'll teach you the taste of defeat!
[19:31] Kosame
This is now... a proxy war!
SIGN Secret
[19:34] Kosame
A proxy war between Douglas Hamada*
and MacArthur Matsumoto!
[19:41] Azuma
"You've become even more
beautiful than before."
[19:43] Akemi
"Shut up! Die, scumbag!"
[19:45] Kosame
Team Matsumoto's response
is too tactless, don't you think?!
[19:47] Basue
I see... If the customer despises you,
you won't have to worry about being hit on.
[19:53] Basue
That's one way to do it!
[19:55] Kosame
Doesn't that mean she's not fit for this job?
[19:58] Kosame
I think even Team Hamada has given up,
knowing that it's a lost cause...?
[20:05] Azuma
"I still love you regardless."
Super punch line.
[20:08] Azuma
"To that stubborn girl."
From chapter 2, verse 12.
[20:12] Kosame
He's starting to sound like
he's quoting from the Bible!
[20:14] Basue
This isn't good!
[20:16] Basue
They say a girl in love becomes cuter, but...
[20:21] Basue
Akemi-chan has become cuter!
[20:24] Basue
Almost as if she used an app to edit herself!
[20:30] Azuma
Douglas Hamada once said...
[20:34] Azuma
A woman who changes her face with
an app is, personally, impossible to be with!
[20:41] Kosame
Um... So since you've
successfully been dumped...
[20:45] Kosame
Everything is all good now, right?
[20:51] Akemi
I want to know defeat!
[20:54] Kosame
I have no idea what you're
even feeling anymore.
[21:01] Basue
Oh, you must be one of those
people who starts singing
[21:05] Basue
once they're done saying what they want to say.
[21:06] Azuma
Sometimes you just gotta sing
to process how you feel, you know?
[21:11] Basue
Oh, I understand.
[21:12] [SONG] Caption
Reserved
SIGN Silhouette Romance
[21:15] Kosame
Is this a Douglas Hamada song?
[21:19] Kosame
No, it's not.
[21:20] Kosame
Oh, I see... Here's the mic.
[21:23] Azuma
Thank you.
[21:36] Azuma
How long ago was it when I first met you?
[21:42] Azuma
That small feeling I had for you
back then has now turned into love.
[21:45] Kosame{background}
Huh? What is he saying?
[21:48] Basue {background}
Kosame-chan, shh.
[21:52] Azuma
I'll deliver this song to you
with all my heart.
[21:56] Azuma
Silhouette Romance.
[22:01] Azuma
A woman in love is
[22:06] Azuma
always a heroine who dreams
[22:15] Azuma
for a moment.
[22:21] Azuma
She'll sit before a mirror and ponder
[22:30] Azuma
which eye pencils to use as she lays them out.
[22:40] Azuma
The sad face she has as she looks out
the window disguises her heart.
[22:49] Azuma
Her scarlet silhouette.
[22:54] Basue
Silhouette!
[22:57] Azuma
Oh, now that you've stolen my heart.
[23:06] Azuma
Come at me by giving me more romance.
[23:17] Azuma
Oh, now that you've dyed me with your love,
[23:26] Azuma
don't stop the excitement
and give me more romance.
[23:37] Azuma
Everyone, thank you for listening to my song.
[23:41] Akemi
You were singing about me, for sure.
[23:45] Kosame
Just when are those things
coming off your face?
E4 - There Is Love / If I Should Die Tonight / Soul Shadows
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:05] Tatsu-ni
During elementary school,
[00:08] Tatsu-ni
I remember the boys
who ran fast being the popular ones.
[00:10] Tatsu-ni
But supposedly, it's the smart ones
who are popular now.
[00:16] Akemi
An old man who suddenly becomes
conscious of just how
[00:17] Akemi
popular he was during
elementary school has serious issues.
[00:19] Tatsu-ni
I'm not saying it because I want to be
popular or anything, all right?
[00:22] Tatsu-ni
I wanted to talk about how things change everywhere,
[00:26] Tatsu-ni
and how it's hard to know what people
find attractive now, okay?
[00:29] Akemi
You seem desperate.
[00:31] Tatsu-ni
Stop looking at me with those
murderous, judgmental eyes!
[00:35] Morita
Did you just say kids who are good at
studying are popular now?
[00:38] Morita
Then that means...
I was born during the wrong era!
[00:42] Akemi
Morita, were you even that smart?
[00:45] Morita
What are you talking about?
[00:47] Morita
Get this!
[00:48] Morita
The child prodigy who was the first to learn
the multiplication table in my class was... me!
[00:54] Akemi
Men who still brag about their achievements
[00:56] Akemi
from elementary school have serious issues.
[00:58] Morita
And that's why I can't get the ladies!
[01:00] Tatsu-ni
Forget that.
[01:01] Morita
Forget that?!
[01:02] Tatsu-ni
In elementary school, what type
of boy did you like, Akemi-chan?
[01:06] Morita
Oh yeah, I want to know that, too.
Did you like the fast runners?
[01:13] Akemi
I liked...
[01:15] Morita and Tatsu-ni
You liked...?
[01:20] Akemi
The type of boy who used chains as a weapon!
[01:23] Morita
Wow, that's really specific!
[01:33] [SONG] Sign
Snack Basue
[01:38] [SONG] Sign
Snack Basue
SIGN (When you fall in love)
[02:57] Morita
But during elementary school, there was
always at least one boy who stood out, no?
[03:03] Tatsu-ni
None of them had chains
as weapons though, I don't think?
[03:07] Morita
Speaking of which, I was one of
those elementary boys
[03:10] Morita
who colored their left hand with a red
marker and then sealed it with a glove.
[03:14] Tatsu-ni
Now, go seal that past away!
[03:17] Tatsu-ni
But, Akemi-chan, why would you like a weird boy
like that, who had chains as a weapon?
[03:23] Akemi
Hmm.
[03:25] Akemi
Come to think of it, I have no idea why.
[03:29] Akemi
But it doesn't matter whether
they're fast runners or smart...
[03:33] Akemi
I don't think people fall in love
for reasons like that. Here.
[03:38] Tatsu-ni
I see you're trying to wrap it up smoothly,
[03:41] Tatsu-ni
but you must have a type.
[03:43] Morita
It's one thing when they're
in elementary school,
[03:45] Morita
but grown women are pretty picky
about things like that.
[03:48] Akemi
Don't you preach about women, Morita!
[03:51] Akemi
I'm not the type of woman who gets excited
over a certain "type".
[03:58] Akemi
That's because my scoring is based on
[04:01] Akemi
a point-deduction system!
[04:04] Akemi
Not many people have one thing
about them that's so great it forgives all their flaws.
[04:09] Akemi
Oh my, a handsome man.
[04:10] Akemi
I think there are more people who've got some flaw so big
[04:13] Akemi
it overcomes all their good aspects.
[04:15] Handsome man
Ah am a very rich man.
[04:18] Akemi
Did he just call himself "Ah" for I?
[04:20] Akemi
Instead of finding a flaw later on
and getting upset about it,
[04:23] Akemi
I think it's better to know and accept it from
the start before you decide to date someone.
[04:27] Tatsu-ni
Well, don't they say love is unconditional?
[04:31] Tatsu-ni
Can't you work hard to accept those flaws?
[04:35] Akemi
Woah, woah.
[04:37] Akemi
Do I look like a saint?
[04:40] Akemi
Me? The one who's an expert at finding
people's flaws rather than their strengths?
SIGN Demonic
[04:45] Tatsu-ni
Demonic!
[04:46] Tatsu-ni
Let's try to be more like the woman
in the opening song for a classy drama!
[04:51] Morita
Wow, you're an awful woman!
[04:53] Morita
But I see.
[04:54] Morita
Akemi-chan, that's just who you are.
[04:56] Akemi
That's right.
[04:58] Morita
But then, this is my chance.
[05:00] Akemi
For what?
[05:02] Morita
The way you score men is based on
a point-deduction system.
[05:05] Akemi
Yep.
[05:06] Morita
If it's a deduction system,
that means you start at 100!
[05:09] Akemi
Yeah.
[05:11] Morita
That means...!
[05:12] Morita
There's not a single thing about me worth more than 0 points!
[05:15] Morita
But if you're deducting from 100,
maybe I've got a chance!
[05:19] Tatsu-ni
Hang on there. Aren't you being a little
too optimistic about this?
[05:21] Morita
Akemi-chan! If you were to score me as a man,
how many points would I get?!
[05:28] Akemi
I've never given it a thought!
[05:30] Tatsu-ni
That means you've never even thought
of him as a man, right?
[05:33] Tatsu-ni
Morita-chan, just drop it already!
[05:36] Morita
Don't stop me, Tatsu-ni!
[05:38] Morita
She's about to see me as a man!
[05:42] Tatsu-ni
Was there ever a point in your life
when things went that smoothly?!
[05:46] Akemi
I wonder if I'll have enough ink.
[05:47] Tatsu-ni and Morita
She's fully intending to give out deductions!
[05:50] Akemi
Well, let's start with...
[05:55] Akemi
a 30 point deduction.
[05:57] Tatsu-ni
Geez, you're starting with his face.
[06:00] Morita
Everyone tells me that all the time,
so I'm used to it. No damage here.
[06:04] Tatsu-ni
You lost a heck of a lot of points, though.
[06:07] Akemi
Hmm... Also...
[06:09] Akemi
You're too horny. 3 point deduction.
[06:12] Akemi
You can't eat tomatoes. 2 point deduction.
[06:14] Akemi
Your fake Kansai accent. 5 point deduction.
[06:16] Akemi
You still live with your parents.
2 point deduction.
[06:19] Tatsu-ni
She seems to be taking her
deductions seriously.
[06:21] Akemi
Well, I think that's about it...
[06:23] Tatsu-ni
Oh, you actually went easier
on him than I expected...
[06:26] Morita
So how many points would I need to pass?
[06:29] Akemi
55 points.
[06:30] Morita
That means...
[06:33] Morita
I have a total deduction of 42 points.
[06:37] Morita
100 minus 42 means 58 points!
SIGN Great
job!
[06:39] Morita
That means I passed!
[06:41] Akemi
The horniness combined with your ugly face
adds another 30 point deduction,
[06:45] Akemi
which makes it 28 points total.
SIGN Needs significant improvement
[06:48] Akemi
You failed.
[06:49] Morita
“Universe, Heaven and Earth, and My Power!"
[06:52] Morita
Akemi-chan! Who do you think you are,
going around rating people with points!
[06:57] Tatsu-ni
I get your point, Morita-chan,
[06:59] Tatsu-ni
but you know, you lost the right to
criticize her as soon as you asked for it.
[07:04] Morita
Seriously, what the heck, man...
[07:06] Tatsu-ni
Morita-chan...
[07:08] Morita
Akemi-chan...
[07:10] Akemi
What?
[07:13] Morita
Aren't there any make-up exams I can do?
[07:15] Tatsu-ni
Is your heart made out of bulletproof glass?
[07:18] Akemi
All right... then.
[07:22] Akemi
Tell me...
[07:24] Akemi
10 things you like about me.
[07:31] Tatsu-ni
That statement...
[07:33] Morita
It's definitely a trap
for more point deductions.
[07:39] Tatsu-ni
Akemi-chan, you say you've got
a point-deduction system.
[07:42] Tatsu-ni
But then, why did you keep falling
for those scumbags?
[07:47] Tatsu-ni
You're still paying off that debt
from your ex, aren't you?
[07:51] Akemi
Well, in the end...
[07:53] Akemi
There's no logical explanation
when it comes to love.
[08:04] Morita
What the heck? What the heck is up with that?
[08:07] Tatsu-ni
Keep it together, Morita-chan...
[08:10] Morita
That...
[08:12] Morita
That means...
[08:16] Morita
I... I...
[08:21] Morita
I still have a chance, doesn't it?!
[08:25] Tatsu-ni
I see. There really is no logical
explanation when it comes to love...
SIGN (I'm done for tonight)
[08:38] Kawa
Oh man, I have a major hangover.
[08:41] Akemi
Are you okay, Kawa-chan?
[08:44] Kawa
I haven't gotten blackout drunk
for a while...
[08:48] Akemi
Don't come to a snack bar
with a hangover like that.
[08:51] Akemi
Here. Have some water.
[08:53] Kawa
Oh, thanks.
[08:56] Akemi
And? Where did you go drinking?
[08:58] Kawa
I seriously can't remember...
[09:03] Kawa
When I woke up, I was in
some kind of group seminar.
[09:07] Kawa
Cracks me up.
[09:09] Akemi
How can you laugh at that?!
[09:11] Akemi
Don't drink so hard you forget how you got there!
[09:13] Kawa
Yeah.
[09:16] Akemi
By the way...
[09:17] Akemi
What's that thick collar?
[09:21] Kawa
What?
[09:22] Kawa
What the heck is this?
[09:24] Kawa
Did I impulsively buy this while I was drunk?
[09:29] Akemi
If you keep drinking like that,
you're really gonna do something you regret.
[09:34] Akemi
Speaking of that collar...
[09:40] Akemi
Isn't that a death-game collar?
[09:43] Kawa
There's no way...
[09:44] Akemi
Wait! If you try to force it off,
it might explode!
[09:48] Kawa
A death game?
[09:50] Kawa
Seriously, what a load of crap.
[09:53] Kawa
Why would anybody do that?
[09:56] Kawa
And why does it have to be me
getting caught up in this mess?
[10:00] Akemi
That's a common phrase
death game participants say!
[10:02] Akemi
Let's sort out the situation first.
[10:05] Akemi
Do you remember anything else?
It could be anything.
[10:09] Kawa
Um... Well, the first thing I remember...
[10:12] Kawa
There were these dudes with weird masks
[10:14] Kawa
conducting the seminar who left
an impression on me...
[10:17] Akemi
See, I told you! It's a death game!
[10:19] Kawa
And I wasn't interested, so I left.
[10:21] Akemi
You have to wait for the first victim!
[10:24] Akemi
When someone's collar first explodes,
that's when they officially start it.
[10:28] Kawa
But as you can see, I'm still alive.
[10:31] Akemi
It's so strange...
[10:33] Akemi
They usually make it so that people
can't escape the death game...
[10:38] Akemi
No, what if escaping is part of the rules?
[10:43] Kawa
What do you mean, rules?
[10:44] Akemi
In a death game, there are
strict rules you have to follow.
[10:50] Akemi
The rules of a death game
are simple and fair.
[10:54] Akemi
It's supposed to have interesting rules
that involve battles of wits
[10:58] Akemi
which test not only your skills
but also your luck.
[11:02] Kawa
They're asking way too much...
[11:04] Akemi
Of course! People entrust their lives
to these rules!
[11:09] Kawa
And how does that work out for them?
[11:12] Kawa
You know...
[11:14] Kawa
Now that I've been wrapped up
in this death game,
[11:17] Kawa
and I'm facing death...
[11:20] Kawa
I have no wife or kids to worry about,
or anybody who'll miss me.
[11:24] Kawa
And I don't particularly take any joy
in living anymore, so...
[11:28] Kawa
Come to think of it,
[11:32] Kawa
I really feel like I've lived my life
to the fullest with no regrets.
[11:37] Akemi
Don't seek life in death!
[11:39] Akemi
It's too soon to be throwing your life away!
[11:42] Akemi
If you win this game, they might grant you any wish!
[11:44] Akemi
You might even get loads of cash!
[11:47] Kawa
Where are you getting this from?
[11:48] Akemi
Death games are usually like that
to motivate the participants!
[11:53] Kawa
What do you mean, motivate...?
[11:54] Kawa
You know their lives are on the line, right?
[11:56] Kawa
You're pretty much forced to do it.
[11:58] Akemi
Just because their lives are on the line
doesn't mean that people are motivated!
[12:02] Akemi
Look at yourself, for instance.
[12:04] Kawa
You got me there...
[12:07] Akemi
Isn't work like that too?
[12:09] Akemi
If you don't do it, you don't
get to eat.
[12:11] Akemi
Which is the same as putting
your life on the line.
[12:15] Kawa
Now that you mention it...
[12:16] Akemi
You get more motivated knowing
[12:17] Akemi
you get something out of it than
if you're forced to do it, don't you think?
[12:21] Kawa
Yeah, like getting paid commissions.
[12:27] Kawa
Yeah, you're right.
[12:28] Kawa
If I think of it as turning my life around,
I think it's worth giving it a shot.
[12:32] Akemi
That's the spirit!
[12:35] Akemi
Okay, let's first check to see if you were
given any items besides the collar.
[12:40] Kawa
An item?
[12:41] Akemi
Death games are like that!
[12:43] Kawa
You really know your stuff...
Do you have previous experience or something?
[12:46] Akemi
Excuse me...
[12:48] Akemi
Smart phone...
[12:49] Akemi
House keys...
[12:51] Akemi
Wallet...
[12:53] Kawa
Are you searching me for secret tools or something?
[12:55] Akemi
A mysterious remote!
[12:57] Akemi
I think this is it!
[13:08] Akemi
Also...
[13:10] Akemi
Death game participants
[13:11] Akemi
tend to have some kind of mysterious tattoo
somewhere on their bodies.
[13:20] Kawa
I don't even know anymore, but...
[13:22] Kawa
Regardless of being involved in a death game,
did I just die a little inside?
[13:26] Akemi
I think the challenge for future
generations is to eliminate such prejudices!
[13:30] Kawa
It's hard to believe that this
remarkable response
[13:32] Kawa
came from a run-down snack bar.
SIGN Snack Basue
[13:35] Kawa
Snack Basue.
SIGN (It was like an illusion)
[13:47] Akemi
An earthquake?!
[13:51] Yamada
It's pretty big.
[13:53] Kazama
Gotta stay calm at times like these!
[13:58] Yamada
What?
[14:01] Akemi
What?
[14:02] Yamada
What?
[14:03] Kazama
Huh?
[14:04] Kazama
Wha?
[14:07] Kazama
My bad. It was me and my jitters.
[14:11] Akemi and Yamada
What?!
[14:12] Yamada
Senpai, why don't we stop that for a moment?
[14:16] Kazama
Hold up, give me a sec!
[14:24] Yamada
That is definitely not from
restlessness, is it?!
[14:27] Akemi
I hear it's bad manners to have
the jitters, but it's good for your body.
[14:32] Yamada
I feel like we've gone beyond manners
and into legal issues here...
[14:37] Akemi
When you're sitting for long periods of time,
it's not good for your blood circulation.
[14:40] Akemi
So jittering your legs like that helps the flow
[14:43] Akemi
and prevents economy-class syndrome.
[14:46] Kazama
You're right. When I sit for too long,
[14:48] Kazama
my circulation gets messed up
and I swell from the waist down.
[14:52] Yamada
Are you sure your circulation is
the only thing that's messed up?
[14:55] Kazama
What? Like the world?
[14:57] Yamada
Yes, right in this spot in this big wide world!
[15:01] Yamada
Geez...
[15:02] Kazama
What's wrong with a little jittering?
[15:05] Kazama
We're buds, aren't we?
[15:08] Yamada
That makes it even worse...
[15:11] Yamada
Besides, Kazama-san, I don't have
a good impression of you to begin with...
[15:15] Kazama
That's the face he only makes at me...
[15:18] Kazama
Cute, isn't it?
[15:20] Akemi
He has the talent of finding
the good in people,
[15:22] Akemi
but there's nothing good about him, is there?
[15:29] Yamada
Huh?
[15:32] Akemi
Hm?
[15:33] Akemi
Is something wrong?
[15:35] Yamada
Oh, no, I thought I saw some kind of
strange creature just now...
[15:40] Akemi
If it's a strange creature you're looking for, Yamada,
he's right next to you...
[15:42] Kazama
If you praise me that much,
you're gonna make me blush.
[15:45] Akemi
Doesn't the word "sarcasm"
exist in your dictionary?
[15:49] Akemi
Well, Tatsu-ni brought in some
shumai yesterday,
[15:53] Akemi
so have some and calm down a bit, okay?
[15:57] Akemi
Oh.
[16:00] Akemi
Not again...
[16:03] Pinky
That usually happens when it says,
"Tear here," on off-brand items.
[16:09] Akemi
It's the type of packet that's either going
to tear open or make my vein tear open.
[16:13] Akemi
It says "tear" all over the place...
SIGN Tear here. Tear here. Tear here.
[16:16] Akemi
It's supposed to be an explanation
for the customer, right?
[16:18] Akemi
Or is the packet giving itself a suggestion?
[16:20] Pinky
But even though the packet isn't open,
you did tear it a little.
[16:24] Akemi
Stop spreading that fake news!
[16:28] Akemi
Well, it's fine as long as it actually
opens "from somewhere"
[16:32] Akemi
rather than "from anywhere."
[16:38] Pinky
Oh dear...
[16:40] Pinky
Why don't you just give up
and use the scissors?
[16:44] Akemi
Oh no, this is way beyond that point now!
[16:46] Akemi
It says it can tear, and I can't tear it!
[16:50] Akemi
This is the same feeling as...
[16:52] Akemi
What do you want to eat today?
[16:53] Man
Anything is fine.
[16:55] Akemi
Okay, then we're having Chinese.
[16:56] Man
Nah, I don't feel like having Chinese.
[16:59] Akemi
This feeling!
[17:01] Akemi
This unsettling feeling!
[17:02] Akemi
If he didn't want Chinese,
he should have said that in the first place!
[17:05] Akemi
Speaking of which, what the heck are you?
[17:06] Pinky
I'm Pinky Unicorn!
[17:09] Pinky
I can only be seen by highly stressed people!
[17:12] Pinky
Just like how people's faith shaped God,
[17:15] Pinky
the stresses of modern society shaped me.
[17:20] Akemi
What... did you say...
[17:22] Kosame
Akemi-san's self-talk sure is intense.
[17:22] Akemi
That means all the stress I've been having...
[17:25] Kosame
Do you think she may be on drugs or something?
[17:27] Akemi
No way... then back then too...
[17:28] Basue
Just what do you take her for?
[17:31] Basue
But she does look like she's about to...
[17:34] Basue
She seems to be under a lot of stress...
[17:37] Basue
I assume it's from that packet in her hand
that claims to be able to tear from anywhere.
[17:42] Kosume
Because of that?
[17:44] Basue
Oh, don't underestimate the small things.
[17:47] Basue
Each little stress might not be much, but...
[17:51] Basue
When it builds up over time,
humans can break down ever so easily.
[17:56] Kosame
Wow... those eyes have seen it all.
[17:59] Basue
Now then, alley-oop.
[18:02] Basue
Let me go get the scissors for Akemi-chan...
[18:05] Basue
Scissors. Scissors.
[18:08] Basue
Oh, dear... oh, dear...
[18:12] Kosame
Huh? Mama?
[18:15] Kosame
Mama?!
[18:17] Basue
A ghost... hid the scissors...
[18:20] Kosame
You're disheartened just because
the scissors aren't in their usual place?
[18:24] Pinky
I'm Pinky Unicorn.
[18:26] Kosame
What are you?!
[18:28] Pinky
My existence can only be seen
by people who feel very stressed.
[18:32] Pinky
You can see me, can't you?
[18:34] Pinky
Stress is contagious!
[18:38] Pinky
The development of human technology
is a history of conflict...
[18:41] Pinky
That can be a conflict among humans.
[18:44] Pinky
Or a conflict with nature...
[18:46] Pinky
And in recent years, the pursuit of convenience
has come into conflict with stress!
[18:51] Pinky
And on behalf of stresses everywhere, I declare
war on those who try to get rid of us!
[18:59] Kosame
No way.
[19:01] Yamada
There's really no need to declare war.
Stress will never go away.
[19:05] Kazama
Why are you looking at me? Something wrong?
[19:08] Kazama
Just what is everyone talking about?
[19:11] Kosame
It's not fair that the cause of the stress
feels no stress at all...
[19:17] Tatsu-ni
Hey, you guys having fun?
[19:21] Kosame
Tatsu-ni... The stress... The stress is...
[19:22] Akemi {background}
I can't tear it... I can't tear it...
[19:26] Tatsu-ni
Stress?
[19:28] Tatsu-ni
Then, why don't we all have a drink?
[19:31] Tatsu-ni
I have some pent-up stress too, so.
[19:33] Tatsu-ni
Let's just drink it all away,
like you're supposed to at a snack bar.
[19:39] Tatsu-ni
Toku, toku, toku, toku, Tokugawa Shogunate...
[19:42] Kosame and Yamada
What?
[19:43] Tatsu-ni
There.
[19:46] Pinky
Stop... Stop it right now!
[19:51] Akemi
Man, that's good!
[19:53] Akemi
I feel it coursing through my organs.
[19:55] Akemi
I don't care about those
unimportant things anymore!
[19:57] Pinky
Just because you're feeling good...
doesn't mean the stress is completely gone.
[20:01] Akemi
That's right, Pinky Unicorn.
[20:04] Akemi
That's why I've decided...
[20:08] Akemi
to cope with stress.
SIGN D r u n k
[20:16] Basue
Drunk!
[20:19] Akemi
Super Junior Hostess Akemi!
[20:23] Tatsu-ni
Akemi-chan's face, which normally
doesn't change color when drunk, is now...
[20:28] Kosame
Transformed!
[20:29] Yamada
And mostly into a unicorn!
[20:42] Akemi
After getting drunk on booze, it's not
so bad to get drunk on power as well!
[21:03] Kazama
Alley-oop.
[21:05] Yamada
Oh, Kazama-san, you're all right.
[21:10] Kazama
You wanna sing something?
[21:11] Yamada
Are you sure you understand what's going on?
[21:14] Kazama
Of course I do. Akemi-chan
turned into a unicorn, right?
[21:18] Kazama
When you drink booze and get drunk, it happens.
[21:21] Yamada
You're saying it as if she's just drinking,
[21:23] Yamada
but you understand her form changed too, right?
[21:25] Kazama
Yep.
[21:27] Kazama
And? What do you want to sing?
[21:29] Basue
As expected from you, Kazama-chan.
[21:31] Tatsu-ni
Well, I feel a little responsible
for offering the booze,
[21:35] Tatsu-ni
so why don't we sing our lungs out,
drive the stress away,
[21:38] Tatsu-ni
and help Akemi-chan return to her usual self?
[21:42] Yamada
Would that even work?
[21:44] [SONG] Caption
Reserved
SIGN Survival
[21:46] Tatsu-ni
Oh, Hokkaido's hero!
[21:48] Kazama
It's gotta be this song in order to live
through this stressful society.
[21:52] Kosame
You're right...
[21:54] Yamada
But, isn't this song pretty hard to sing?
[21:57] Yamada
You can sing this song, Kazama-san?
[22:00] Yamada
Huh?
[22:01] Kazama
Give me a hand for the parts I can't sing.
[22:05] Yamada
All right.
[22:20] Yamada
I'm counting on you, Kazama-san.
[22:25] Kazama
Loudly, go.
[22:28] Yamada
The commentator yells,
this is the era of survival.
[22:31] Kazama
I made... Yeah!
[22:34] Yamada
... an ominous prediction and left it in the dark.
[22:37] Kazama
In the mirror... oh yeah!
[22:40] Yamada
... there's a face that mocks yesterday's mistakes.
[22:44] Yamada
W-We wandered astray,
here and there, throughout the day.
[22:50] Yamada
Even if you get caught up
in the waves of society
[22:53] Yamada
and you stick out a slightly sarcastic tongue.
[22:56] Yamada
To you, who's running through the Heisei era
[22:59] Yamada
with your abundant vitality!
[23:03] Kazama
There's a light that shines
throughout the vast sky. Go!
[23:10] Yamada
When we let loose our desires,
on the last day of Earth,
[23:13] Yamada
we can become Adam and Eve.
[23:15] Kazama
There are things we need
in order to live, go!
[23:22] Yamada
Even a little bit of
disappointment, in the long run,
[23:24] Yamada
can be seen as the finest spice you can taste.
[23:27] Kazama and Yamada
Oh yes!
[23:31] Yamada
Kazama-san, you didn't sing most of it!
[23:34] Kazama
So what? We can call it a duet.
[23:38] Basue
Oh, yes, there are definitely those people
who know they can't sing it alone,
[23:41] Basue
and yet still pick a song.
[23:42] Akemi
I know what you mean.
[23:44] Akemi
But, the last part where you scream,
[23:45] Akemi
you just can't help but want to
scream along, you know?
[23:47] Kosame
Oh, Akemi-san, you've turned back.
E5 - Get on the Good Foot / Talkin' Loud And Saying Nothin' / My Funny Valentine
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Palmistry
SIGN Douglas
SIGN If you
can see
it
SIGN You can touch it!
SIGN Douglas Hamada
[00:07] Azuma
You have a distinct health line.
[00:09] Kosame
A health line?
[00:11] Azuma
That's right.
[00:12] Azuma
You see the line that starts
from your pinky and stretches down?
[00:15] Kosame
Oh yeah, you're right...
[00:17] Kosame
That means I don't have to worry
about my health for a while, right?
[00:21] Azuma
No, it's the opposite.
[00:23] Azuma
It seems the more distinct the line is,
the more health problems you're bound to have.
[00:26] Kosame
Well, that's confusing.
[00:28] Akemi
Using palm reading as an
excuse to touch a girl's hand.
SIGN Book of Palmistry
[00:32] Akemi
It's a basic move.
[00:33] Akemi
But here in this dumpy snack bar,
we've seen it used one too many times...
[00:38] Akemi
It's so boring that it's
putting me straight to sleep. Zzz...
[00:44] Tatsu-ni
I've been tired lately too.
[00:48] Akemi
You should just suspect you have
a disease and go to the hospital.
[00:51] Tatsu-ni
Are we so close that you can convey
your worries through telepathy?
[00:55] Azuma
Then, how about...
[00:57] Azuma
we do foot acupoints next?
SIGN Right on the spot!
SIGN Book of Foot Acupoints
SIGN Douglas Hamada
[01:01] Akemi
Don't tell me...
[01:02] Akemi
He's gonna try and touch her feet
like you touch someone's hand with palm reading?
[01:05] Kosame
Oh, no... that's a bit...
[01:08] Azuma
Why is that?
[01:11] Kosame
Well, you know...
[01:14] Azuma
Could it be...
[01:16] Azuma
that you have stinky feet?
[01:18] Kosame
How rude!
[01:27] [SONG] Sign
Snack Basue
[01:32] [SONG] Sign
Snack Basue
SIGN (Put best foot forward)
[02:52] Azuma
There are acupoints
on the feet that help you detox
[02:55] Azuma
and suppress body odor too, you know.
[02:59] Kosame
I wasn't concerned about my feet stinking,
[03:02] Kosame
but now that you mention it,
it's making me worried...
[03:06] Kosame
The rescue boat I asked for looks
more like an amphibious assault ship.
[03:09] Akemi
He was just being so annoying with his points
[03:12] Akemi
that I went for the secret one that
elementary school kids are talking about...
[03:14] Akemi
I poked him in the diarrhea point.
[03:17] Akemi
You are... already dead.
[03:19] Tatsu-ni
Well, if he leaks, I'd say he'll die of
embarrassment. That's for sure.
[03:26] Tatsu-ni
What?!
[03:27] Azuma
Unfortunately for you, the point
she poked is called Hyakue,
[03:30] Azuma
which is effective against
headaches and hemorrhoids.
[03:33] Tatsu-ni
You've made him feel
healthier without realizing it!
[03:36] Akemi
I still have a ways to go to reach
the Hokuto Shinken I seek.
[03:39] Akemi
Shit... I can't even think of where
I should press to cause damage!
[03:46] Kosame
That's true. When you mention acupoints,
[03:49] Kosame
it seems any that you press
would be beneficial in some way.
[03:53] Azuma
Well...
[03:56] Azuma
You did poke it really hard,
so I did take some damage.
[04:01] Akemi
Oh... I'm sorry...
[04:03] Azuma
But when that happens,
you press this acupoint and...
[04:07] Narrator
Hegu.
SIGN Hegu
[04:09] Narrator
It is the point located between the base
of the thumb and index finger.
[04:12] Narrator
Pressing this pressure point seems
to be effective against headaches,
[04:15] Narrator
stiff shoulders, eye fatigue,
insomnia, drowsiness,
[04:17] Narrator
high blood pressure, internal organ
fatigue, hay fever, stress, etc.
[04:20] Narrator
An all-purpose acupoint.
[04:22] Tatsu-ni
It's Shigeru Chiba. I'm so happy.
[04:24] Kosame
What are you talking about?
[04:26] Akemi
Hey, don't you think that acupoint
works a little too well?
[04:29] Azuma
But whenever I do research
on what acupoints work,
[04:32] Azuma
I could almost say it always
leads me to this Hegu point.
[04:35] Akemi
Should an amazing acupoint
like that really be in the hand?
[04:41] Akemi
Well, anyway, when in doubt
just press it, right?
[04:45] Kosame
It's almost like a reset button on a device.
Like the ones you need a toothpick to push.
[04:59] Akemi
My left hand gets tired from
pushing the right hand's acupoint.
[05:02] Akemi
Then my right hand gets tired
pushing the left hand's acupoint.
[05:05] Akemi
Then, my left hand gets tired again
and it's an endless cycle.
[05:09] Kosame
You're an endless idiot!
[05:11] Kosame
But do these acupoints really
work like they say they do?
[05:16] Azuma
Huh?
[05:18] Kosame
I understand and do believe
that the blood circulation
[05:22] Kosame
gets better the more you press on it.
[05:25] Kosame
But don't you think it's just a placebo effect
[05:28] Kosame
when they say pressing the hand and feet
directly affects your eyes or liver?
[05:35] Azuma
Now that you mention it,
Eastern medicine tends to work
[05:39] Azuma
in mysterious ways without
actually knowing why it works.
[05:42] Azuma
However, there are definitely acupoints
that do work on specific areas.
SIGN Right on the spot!
[05:48] Azuma
It says so in the book!
SIGN Book of Foot Acupoints
SIGN Douglas Hamada
[05:50] Kosame
Are you that naive?!
[05:51] Azuma
On top of that, the author of
the book is Douglas Hamada!
[05:55] Kosame
Is he serious?!
[05:57] Akemi
Hey, all the books you've read on palm reading
and dating are by Douglas Hamada!
[06:03] Kosame
You definitely shouldn't be trusting
a book written by someone
[06:06] Kosame
whose field of expertise you don't know!
[06:09] Kosame
Isn't there a saying about
"seeing is believing?"
SIGN If you do
palmistry,
you can touch
the girl's hand!
SIGN Douglas Hamada
[06:12] Kosame
Don't just take the contents
of a book at face value!
[06:16] Azuma
Then...
[06:18] Azuma
Why don't we test out the foot
acupoints written in this book,
[06:21] Azuma
to see whether they work or not?
[06:23] Akemi
Why, you...!
[06:24] Akemi
You were setting us up for this?!
[06:25] Azuma
How about it?
[06:27] Azuma
You can find out whether the comedians
on TV actually feel the pain or not
[06:30] Azuma
when they do this.
[06:32] Azuma
That's right...
[06:34] Azuma
Seeing is believing, right?
[06:37] Akemi
He's playing it off like
he meant to lead to this!
[06:42] Akemi
Kosame-chan, it looks like
[06:44] Akemi
you're going to have to give in
and prepare yourself to give him a foot.
[06:48] Kosame
As much as I hate giving away one
Yukimi daifuku, I don't want to!
[06:51] Akemi
Then, how about a Pino?
[06:53] Kosame
If it's that, I'd give him one, but what
does that have to do with this?
[06:58] Tatsu-ni
Then, maybe I'll have him do mine.
[07:01] Akemi
Your feet seriously stink, Tatsu-ni,
so don't take off your shoes inside the bar.
[07:05] Tatsu-ni
My feet do not stink and I've never
taken them off, so how would you know?!
[07:10] Akemi
Just, please.
SIGN Right on the spot!
SIGN Book of Foot Acupoints
[07:16] Kosame
Why do I have to?!
[07:19] Akemi
It'll be all right.
[07:21] Akemi
He has no intention of doing
anything perverted anyway.
[07:24] Akemi
He just wants to know
if what's written is true or not.
[07:28] Kosame
That makes me worry even more,
with the mad scientist vibe going on.
[07:34] Kosame
Seriously, you're only good when it comes
to setting people up like this, aren't you...
[07:42] Azuma
All right... Here I go.
[07:49] Kosame
Ow!
[07:51] Kosame
Ow!
[07:52] Kosame
Ow!
SIGN (Don't say mean things.)
[08:26] Akemi
Yamada...
[08:28] Yamada
Yes?
[08:30] Akemi
Let's party by talking shit about people!
[08:32] Yamada
You're off to an awful start.
[08:34] Akemi
But, I really think talking shit about people
[08:37] Akemi
is the best way to get
an exciting conversation going...
[08:39] Yamada
It sounds worse when you put it that way...
[08:41] Akemi
Aren't the times when
humans raged with dissatisfaction
[08:44] Akemi
and frustration the highlights
of human history?
[08:47] Yamada
They're also the parts of history
that should not be repeated.
[08:51] Yamada
Don't you have something more cheerful to say?
[08:54] Akemi
Where there is light, there is darkness.
[08:57] Yamada
Let there be light first!
[08:59] Yamada
But, Akemi-san, I didn't think you
would be the type to say bad...
[09:03] Yamada
or maybe not?
[09:05] Yamada
Nah, never mind.
[09:06] Akemi
I beg your pardon!
[09:07] Akemi
I say things that make fun of people,
but I rarely talk badly about people!
[09:13] Yamada
How is that any different?
[09:15] Yamada
But I guess, since you put it that way,
[09:18] Yamada
you must really be
holding something in, aren't you?
[09:21] Akemi
Yeah, I want you to hear me out.
[09:24] Yamada
Um, at a snack bar, I'm the one who should be
asking you to hear me out, you know.
[09:29] Yamada
Well, what is it that you want to get out?
[09:34] Akemi
I really think people who love
extremely spicy food are insane!
[09:37] Yamada
Oh, didn't expect it to be that vague.
[09:40] Yamada
Don't you normally get pumped up by
speaking badly about your boss or something?
[09:45] Akemi
My boss is watching right next to me!
[09:48] Yamada
Oh, right...
[09:49] Basue
To see with eyes unclouded...
[09:52] Basue
However, these eyes
are looking far in the distance.
[10:00] Akemi
How could he come to a snack bar
[10:02] Akemi
and give the impression of not
wanting to be bothered by anyone?
[10:06] Yamada
Yeah, he does have his headphones
and a newspaper after all.
[10:09] Akemi
So bothersome.
[10:11] Yamada
Isn't customer service about...
[10:15] Akemi
Kawa-chan, I would never want
to talk to you if it weren't for my job.
[10:20] Akemi
But what are you listening to?
[10:24] Akemi
Those are headphones, so stop trying to hand
me one side as if they were earphones!
[10:31] Akemi
English conversation?
[10:32] Akemi
Are you sure you're able to listen and
read a newspaper at the same time?
[10:38] Akemi
Actually, the newspaper is in English too.
[10:41] Akemi
Kawa-chan, are you fluent in English?
SIGN Alphabet
Biscuits
[10:45] Kawa
B.
[10:46] Akemi
Ah, nope, he's probably
in the middle of studying English.
[10:49] Akemi
And a beginner at that.
[10:51] Kawa
A.
[10:52] Akemi
Is this where you're going to follow it
with K and A to mean idiot?
[10:55] Yamada
Um... Why did you decide to
study English all of a sudden?
[11:00] Kawa
Uh, I'm not really studying it or anything...
[11:04] Akemi
Then does that mean you already know it?
[11:07] Kawa
No, but...
[11:09] Yamada
I have no idea where he's going with this.
[11:12] Kawa
The thing is...
[11:14] Kawa
I just wanted people to think I know
English and seem smart, is all!
[11:20] Yamada
Oh...
[11:22] Akemi
You're a fool.
[11:24] Akemi
You see, Kawa-chan, to think
knowing English equals being smart
[11:29] Akemi
is already something a dumbass would think.
[11:31] Kawa
But, you gotta be smart to know English, right?
[11:33] Kawa
English is cool, isn't it?
[11:35] Yamada
Well...
[11:36] Akemi
Sex!
[11:37] Yamada
That's horrible!
[11:39] Kawa
Shit! It's the perfect objection!
[11:41] Akemi
If you actually spoke English,
I'd think you were intelligent.
[11:45] Akemi
But, the fact that you think being able to
speak it is intelligent makes you sound dumb.
[11:50] Kawa
Yeah, come to think of it...
[11:51] Akemi
That said... Am I a dumbass?
[11:54] Kawa
The world is full of sad truths.
[11:58] Kawa
Then what actually makes you sound intelligent?
[12:02] Kawa
Out of all the people you've met, Akemi-chan,
[12:04] Kawa
what type of person
would you consider intelligent?
[12:08] Akemi
An intelligent person...
[12:11] Akemi
It might just be because of
where I work, but I haven't met one yet.
[12:15] Kawa
She thinks everyone she meets is an idiot!
[12:18] Yamada
Isn't that talking badly about others?!
[12:20] Basue
In front of them, nonetheless!
SIGN Snack Basue
[12:25] Morita
Snack Basue.
SIGN (To my dearest love)
[12:36] Morita
Akemi-chan... why...
[12:38] Akemi
"Why can't I be popular
with the ladies," right?
[12:42] Morita
You read my mind...
[12:44] Morita
No, our hearts connected, didn't they?!
[12:47] Akemi
What?
[12:48] Morita
This is it!
[12:50] Akemi
What do you mean, this is it?!
[12:52] Akemi
Recently, that's all you've been saying!
[12:55] Morita
Seriously, please don't say that...
[12:56] Morita
Can you just please ride the wave
with me or ride me and resolve it?
[13:02] Akemi
I'll ride the wave, but can I just
copy and paste myself here?
[13:06] Morita
Is there no love in this world?!
[13:09] Akemi
You come here quite often,
but are you that bored?
[13:13] Akemi
Well, I am grateful, since I get to
slack off during Morita episodes.
[13:16] Morita
That was wrong in so many ways!
[13:19] Morita
Also, your lip flaps aren't
matching anymore either!
SIGN Action
SIGN Current Frame
SIGN Script
[13:25] Morita
Geez...
[13:29] Akemi
Oh, I know what it is.
It is that time of the year, after all.
[13:32] Morita
Huh? What do you mean?
[13:38] Akemi
You want it, don't you?
[13:39] Akemi
A Valentine's Day chocolate.
[13:42] Morita
Akemi-chan, thank you!
[13:44] Akemi
But before that...
[13:48] Akemi
You still haven't given me mine
from last year, have you?
[13:52] Morita
What?
[13:55] Morita
U-Um... I didn't?
[13:59] Akemi
You bet!
[14:02] Akemi
And it's not just you either, Morita!
[14:06] Akemi
Our customers just take what they can get
and never give me anything for White Day...
[14:12] Akemi
I don't care what it is,
I wish they'd give me something.
[14:15] Morita
All right then.
[14:18] Akemi
Gross.
[14:19] Morita
Why is that?! Akemi-chan, you love money!
[14:23] Akemi
You understand me very well, but from
a girl's standpoint you don't get us at all!
[14:29] Morita
Wha...
[14:30] Akemi
If you give me money for giving you chocolate,
[14:33] Akemi
I'm no different than a retail store!
[14:36] Akemi
All I want is something with a little class
[14:39] Basue
and for it to remind me
how loved I am by everyone.
[14:43] Basue
Akemi-chan.
[14:44] Akemi
What is it, Mama?
[14:46] Basue
That's backwards.
[14:48] Akemi
Backwards?
[14:49] Basue
Snack bar Valentine's is a day when we give
thanks to everyone for always loving us.
[14:57] Basue
You're giving a heartfelt thanks that says
"Thank you for always coming."
[15:03] Basue
You shouldn't seek anything in return.
[15:06] Akemi
Mama...
[15:07] Basue
So with that, Morita-chan.
[15:10] Basue
This is a thank you from yours truly.
[15:13] Morita
Mama...
[15:14] Basue
You don't have to hold back.
[15:18] Morita
But, I want a chocolate from Akemi-chan!
[15:22] Basue
You stepped all over my feelings.
[15:27] Akemi
Morita... That was pretty shallow.
[15:30] Morita
I'm very sorry, Mama.
[15:32] Basue
It's all right.
[15:33] Akemi
But that honestly made me feel really good,
seeing you beg for my chocolate!
[15:40] Akemi
A lot!
[15:41] Basue
And you're a lot worse, Akemi-chan.
[15:44] Basue
But Morita-chan,
[15:46] Basue
why are you so obsessed with this chocolate,
knowing it's just chocolate from a store?
[15:52] Morita
You're right... If it stays that way,
it's just an obligatory chocolate.
[15:58] Morita
But!
[15:59] Morita
If I take it home
and melt it into another shape,
[16:02] Morita
it'll be like a homemade one, so no worries!
[16:06] Basue
That's creepy!
[16:07] Morita
Of course, I'm going to post it
on the internet before I eat it
SIGN Morimori
SIGN I got chocolate from Akemi-chan!
[16:10] Morita
so I can show it off to all my rivals!
[16:12] Basue
Just speechless!
[16:14] Basue
I was reminded once again...
[16:17] Basue
He's not like those introverts
who aren't popular,
[16:21] Basue
he has the bad traits of
an assertive person who isn't popular.
[16:26] Akemi
How far are the Japanese laws
willing to protect me?
[16:30] Morita
Aren't you guys
complimenting me a little too much?
[16:33] Akemi
Actually, aren't you really in love with me?
[16:36] Morita
That's right.
[16:38] Akemi
Then shouldn't you be giving me something
for White Day to make yourself look better?
[16:44] Basue
Akemi-chan! Don't say anything that
may provoke a future criminal!
[16:51] Morita
Um... No... It's not that I forgot about it...
[16:57] Akemi
Then why?
[16:59] Morita
I was just... I was just... scared.
[17:04] Akemi
Scared?
[17:06] Morita
Yeah...
[17:07] Morita
I didn't want you to laugh at me
for giving you something weird.
[17:14] Akemi
Morita...
[17:16] Basue
There is a sense of authenticity, when you
can see a glimpse of common sense
[17:19] Basue
amidst the eccentric acts.
[17:23] Akemi
You idiot. I'm not going to laugh
at anything you give me.
[17:29] Morita
Akemi-chan.
[17:32] Akemi
That's because... this is...
[17:36] Akemi
All part of the job!
[17:38] Basue
Oh, she said it!
[17:41] Akemi
No, seriously, this is just a hostess
and customer relationship, so...
[17:47] Basue
It's important to remember our boundaries.
[17:50] Morita
You're right...
[17:51] Akemi
Yep.
[17:54] Morita
So skipping all the small details,
what do I need to do to get you to jerk me off?
[17:59] Basue
This guy... I don't know how far he'd go.
[18:02] Akemi
Um... You see, this isn't good
because you're skipping
[18:07] Akemi
all the small details such as giving me
something for White Day.
[18:10] Akemi
And I am not going to
jerk you off in any case, okay?!
[18:12] Morita
Yeah?
[18:13] Akemi
Yep.
[18:15] Akemi
Besides, I'm not expecting
an expensive brand item or anything.
[18:19] Akemi
It could be a small snack that you
thought looked good or something.
[18:25] Morita
Food... I guess I'll have to go with...
[18:29] Akemi
Actually, scratch that.
[18:30] Morita
Why?! You're the one who suggested it!
[18:33] Akemi
Your face just screamed
"I'm going to put something in the food..."
[18:38] Akemi
So nothing edible, okay?
[18:41] Morita
Then what else is there?
[18:43] Akemi
How about... bath bombs?
[18:47] Akemi
There are really cute shaped ones, like
rose-shaped ones, which I think are affordable.
[18:50] Morita
Bath bombs...
[18:52] Akemi
Yep, scratch that one too.
[18:53] Morita
Why?! What can I do with a bath bomb?!
[18:57] Akemi
I just assumed the worst.
[19:01] Akemi
Your feelings are all I need!
[19:04] Akemi
I'll even give you a chocolate this year too,
so let's just leave it at that, okay?
[19:09] Morita
The way she's handing it to me
is like she's giving me the real deal.
[19:12] Morita
But you know...
[19:14] Morita
I really want to properly give you
something so I can get jerked off...
[19:18] Akemi
I already said that's not going to happen!
[19:21] Morita
Then accept the gift I was
going to give you last year...
[19:26] Akemi
Huh? Uh... What is it?
[19:30] Morita
It's...
[19:32] Morita
a love song I composed.
[20:05] Basue
Happy White Day!
[20:09] Basue
Happy Valentine's Day!
[20:17] Morita
This chocolate is really good!
[20:19] Akemi
That's because it's my favorite one.
[20:22] Morita
Oh man, I really wanted to
take my time eating it at home.
[20:25] Akemi
Who knows what you'll do to it
if you bring it home...
[20:31] Morita
What am I to this chocolate,
a criminal or something?
[20:34] Basue
Even so, Morita-chan, you really have
many hobbies, writing songs and all.
[20:42] Morita
Yeah, but it's not making me popular.
[20:45] Basue
Um, what does that have to do with it?
[20:49] Morita
I thought I'd be more popular
if I was into music, so I studied it.
[20:54] Morita
But it turns out it's only popular
with extroverted people.
[20:58] Akemi
I can see that being the case.
[21:00] Morita
Those people don't need music to be popular!
[21:03] Akemi
I can see that being the case.
[21:05] Basue
But, Morita-chan, you're amazing
for actually composing a song.
[21:10] Morita
Y-Yeah, you think?
[21:12] Basue
I'd like to listen to it a little.
[21:16] Akemi
Well, I am a little curious too,
for the scare factor.
[21:20] Morita
R-Really?
[21:22] Akemi
Really, really.
[21:27] Akemi
What's wrong?
[21:29] Morita
You're not gonna laugh at it?
[21:31] Akemi
I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna.
[21:33] Morita
But...
[21:36] Akemi
You're taking forever. Never mind.
[21:39] Morita
Well, well, well, well, since
you're asking me so much.
[21:43] Akemi
Which is it?
[21:44] Basue
It's very much like you
to banter like this, Morita-chan.
[21:47] Morita
Please listen to this as if we met during
our middle school years, Akemi-chan.
[21:53] Akemi
Could you please refrain from
talking about the worst situation imaginable?
[21:57] Morita
Okay, here we go...
[22:01] Morita
Twinkle twinkle shooting star
[22:05] Morita
* Please tell me the truth! Right now!
I really don't know anymore!
[22:14] Morita
One day, a girl suddenly came to my class.
[22:21] Morita
Just one look at her and my heart pounded.
[22:27] Morita
I've never felt this way before.
Something is wrong.
[22:34] Morita
You're probably an alien,
who came to take over the world!
[22:46] Morita
I wonder why?
[22:51] Morita
When I think of you,
I feel a tightness in my chest.
[23:00] Morita
If this keeps up, I'm bound to be brainwashed.
[23:08] Morita
It's a little wondrous.
[23:10] Morita
That's right, that girl's an alien.
[23:14] Morita
We're going to be taken over.
[23:18] Morita
Someone please help me!*
[23:24] Morita
H-How was it?
[23:29] Akemi
It was better than I expected.
[23:33] Morita
Honestly... It's embarrassing...
[23:35] Akemi
But...
[23:39] Akemi
Your lyrics give away
just how much of a virgin you are.
[23:42] Morita
What is that supposed to mean?!
[23:45] Basue
Morita-chan seems really happy.
[23:50] Basue
Such a virgin.
E6 - Hello Stranger / What a Wonderful World / As / Mean Old World
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Akemi
Just like how girls tend to push
the like button when they see
[00:05] Akemi
a picture of a delicious-looking
pancake at a stylish cafe,
[00:08] Akemi
the old men at a snack bar
tend to clap for any singer
[00:12] Akemi
who sings a classic song, even if they don't know the song.
[00:15] Akemi
And what else...
[00:17] Akemi
You know how, back when you were in school,
[00:20] Akemi
you'd go over to a friend's house afterwards?
[00:23] Akemi
But once you become an adult,
that can't happen as easily.
[00:27] Akemi
You need some kind of excuse
in order to hang out with them...
[00:30] Akemi
And even so, it takes a while until
you finally meet them for that date.
[00:35] Akemi
Well, a snack bar gives you
that same feeling you had
[00:39] Akemi
back when you were in school, when you
could just invite someone over to chill.
[00:42] Akemi
Yes, a snack bar acts as a tree where
adults can perch and rest their wings.
[00:47] Akemi
It's that sort of bar... so...
[00:52] Akemi
I hate to break it to you, but I don't think
it's the type of tavern you're looking for.
[01:05] [SONG] Sign
Snack Basue
[01:09] [SONG] Sign
Snack Basue
SIGN (Seeds of Salvation...)
[02:37] Hero
I'll start with a warrior.
[02:38] Akemi
Don't say it like you're asking
for a beer or something!
[02:40] Akemi
We're not that type of tavern!
[02:43] Hero
That... type of...?
[02:45] Akemi
I'm sayin' you can't form a party
for your adventures here!
[02:49] Akemi
At most, you can only find drinking buddies!
[02:51] Hero
Dragon...
[02:53] Hero
Quest...?
[02:54] Akemi
Don't ask about something I didn't say!
[02:57] Hero
Well, that's very strange...
[02:59] Hero
I'm unable to reunite with my stray
friends even though I'm at the bar...
[03:02] Hero
Did I miscast a teleportation spell?
[03:07] Akemi
I see...
[03:09] Akemi
The scenario is that you were
summoned to the present...
[03:14] Akemi
Now I know the situation, but...!
[03:17] Akemi
Mama, isn't there another store you
could introduce this young man to
[03:19] Akemi
that caters to this sort of thing?
[03:23] Akemi
Oh, it's no use, she's glitching.
[03:26] Akemi
As you can see,
we can't introduce you to anyone
[03:29] Akemi
willing to go along with your gameplay.
[03:32] Akemi
The only thing left is to go ask at
the Susukino's free information center.
[03:37] Hero
No...
[03:38] Hero
It seems I have already found a friend.
[03:41] Akemi
Huh?
[03:42] Hero
Hey, bar lady!
[03:44] Hero
Would you like to come on a journey
with me to defeat the Demon King?
[03:47] Akemi
Oh, no no no, defeating a Demon King...
[03:49] Akemi
That's impossible.
Besides, I'm working right now.
[03:52] Hero
Maybe a little after you've closed shop?
[03:56] Akemi
Now you're just asking me
out after work, buddy!
[03:58] Hero
Even if it's just for a little puff-puff?
[04:00] Akemi
You're going to ask me that now?
[04:03] Akemi
In a way, you really are a brave hero.
[04:05] Akemi
Oh, but what is this feeling...
[04:08] Akemi
Little by little, my heart is being charmed...
[04:12] Akemi
His eyes!
[04:15] Akemi
A man's ambitious eyes...
SIGN The men I fell in love with in the past
[04:17] Akemi
The same eyes of the men
I fell in love with in the past!
[04:21] Basue
The Chosen!
SIGN The Chosen
[04:27] Akemi
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
[04:30] Akemi
That was a close one!
[04:32] Akemi
I was about to be fooled by a loser again...
[04:36] Akemi
You sound like an NPC villager who only
knows how to repeat the same phrase.
[04:39] Hero
I am not a villager!
[04:41] Hero
I am the hero!
[04:43] Akemi
Shut up already!
[04:44] Akemi
Nobody wants to hear about
heroes summoned to the present!
[04:47] Akemi
The current trend is the opposite!
[04:48] Akemi
It's people from the present
going to another world
[04:50] Akemi
and becoming unrivaled using
their modern knowledge!
[04:51] Akemi
No, that's getting old too!
[04:53] Akemi
Now it's ones where the hero gets banished?
[04:55] Akemi
Or maybe the hero's a villainess?
[04:56] Akemi
I don't know.
[04:57] Akemi
Just go ask Kadokawa about that shit, okay?!
[04:59] Akemi
Either way, you're being troublesome!
[05:01] Akemi
With people like you around,
nobody's going to come to our bar,
[05:04] Akemi
and nobody will watch our anime!
[05:05] Akemi
What do you mean,
"nobody watches it right now?"
[05:08] Akemi
Now, come on. If you understand,
please start heading to Susukino.
[05:11] Akemi
As Godiego sings in their lyrics,
head on to Gandhara your utopia.
[05:15] Hero
Susu... kino...?
[05:17] Akemi
Go 5 stations on the Namboku
subway line towards Sapporo.
[05:21] Hero
Subway...?
[05:22] Hero
What are you even talking about?
[05:24] Akemi
Trust me, trust me!
[05:34] Akemi
Oh... The hero didn't come to us...
[05:37] Akemi
Snack Basue is what got
relocated to another world...
SIGN (Welcome to the Lifestyle
of the Wonderful Other World)
[05:46] Akemi
...is what happened.
[05:48] Yamada
How were you able to come back?
[05:50] Tatsu-ni
So that's why?
[05:53] Akemi
Yeah. Ever since then,
Mama has been glitching.
[05:58] Tatsu-ni
Did you try blowing into her?
[06:06] Akemi
All set.
[06:07] Yamada
Wait, what just happened?
[06:14] Akemi
Oh, good, I wasn't sure what I would do
if it was him again...
[06:18] Tatsu-ni
Is he someone from around here?
[06:19] Akemi
No, I've never seen him before.
He must be a first-time customer.
[06:24] Yamada
It's a little embarrassing
to see someone wearing a jersey
[06:26] Yamada
when they aren't from this
neighborhood, don't you think?
[06:30] Natsuki
Did I... really...
[06:34] Natsuki
just get summoned to another world?
[06:37] Akemi
Go home!
[06:38] Natsuki
Wha?
[06:40] Akemi
What would make you think of this snack
bar as something from an alternate world?
[06:43] Tatsu-ni
Wait, Akemi-chan.
[06:46] Tatsu-ni
For those of us who are constantly
working against the pressures of reality,
[06:52] Tatsu-ni
a snack bar is, in a sense,
another world. Don't you think?
[06:55] Yamada
Your face screams,
"This is the coolest thing I've ever said!"
[06:59] Akemi
Come to think of it,
[07:01] Akemi
the dim lighting gives the illusion
of a medieval fantasy world,
[07:05] Akemi
you're encountering people
you normally wouldn't meet,
[07:08] Akemi
and you also get potions which drain your stamina
and give you a debuff the next morning.
[07:14] Yamada
Wait a minute. Is today the day everyone tries
to say something smooth or something?
[07:20] Akemi
Welcome to Snack Basue.
[07:22] Akemi
I'm the junior hostess, Akemi.
[07:24] Akemi
What is your name, sir?
[07:27] Natsuki
My name is Natsuki S—
[07:29] Akemi
Natsuki-san, it is!
[07:30] Natsuki
Uh... yes.
[07:32] Akemi
I haven't seen anyone like you before,
Natsuki-san. Are you from around here?
[07:36] Natsuki
Yeah.
[07:37] Yamada
I shouldn't be the one to talk, but what
were you thinking coming into this bar?
[07:41] Akemi
How rude!
[07:43] Natsuki
Oh, no. I was roaming around the neighborhood,
SIGN Snack Basue
[07:45] Natsuki
trying to find my way to another world...
[07:47] Natsuki
Your door looked the most otherworldly
of any of them.
[07:50] Yamada
Otherworldly...?
[07:52] Tatsu-ni
I understand...
[07:53] Yamada
What?
[07:54] Tatsu-ni
For those of us who are constantly
working against the pressures of reality,
[07:59] Tatsu-ni
a snack bar...
[08:00] Yamada
You already said that!
With that same exact look on your face!
[08:04] Akemi
Even so, in order to go to an alternate world,
[08:07] Akemi
there's certain criteria you have to meet.
[08:09] Yamada
Is that so...
[08:10] Akemi
First off,
[08:12] Akemi
you have to be kind of a loser.
[08:15] Akemi
Yep, you meet that one.
[08:17] Yamada
That's pretty harsh to say
to a first-time customer.
[08:20] Akemi
And what do you do for a living?
[08:22] Natsuki
Unemployed.
[08:24] Akemi
The second criteria was to either
work for an abusive corporation
[08:27] Akemi
or be an unemployed hikikomori...
so you meet that one too.
[08:31] Yamada
Oh, it's getting worse.
[08:33] Akemi
Yamada and Tatsu-ni, you both
meet the criteria too,
[08:36] Akemi
so you guys could make it to the other world.
[08:38] Tatsu-ni
My job's not that bad.
[08:40] Akemi
You can be a special case,
since you're tired of reality.
[08:44] Tatsu-ni
That's not a special case
I'm particularly happy about.
[08:47] Akemi
And, now you've made it to the other world,
what are your worries, Natsuki-san?
[08:52] Natsuki
Well, it's...
[08:53] Natsuki
How do you actually get to another world?
[08:56] Akemi
I thought you came here because
you thought this was another world?
[08:59] Natsuki
Nah, not to a snack bar,
but to a real alternate world.
[09:03] Akemi
This conversation is going nowhere...
[09:05] Yamada
You guys are at a point
where neither of you make sense.
[09:11] Akemi
A real alternate world, huh...
[09:14] Akemi
Wasn't getting hit by a truck
one of the ways to go?
[09:18] Tatsu-ni
If it didn't work, it'd be a disaster.
[09:20] Yamada
It would be a disaster regardless.
[09:23] Natsuki
Nah, nothing that's going
to be painful, please.
[09:26] Natsuki
Besides, dying would be a burden
on my family too, so that's out...
[09:29] Yamada
The nerve...
[09:30] Natsuki
I don't have any friends who
would even attend my funeral,
[09:33] Natsuki
and wouldn't you feel bad for your family,
who's left to deal with the mess?
[09:36] Yamada
Why would anyone who's thought it through
this much want to go to another world...?
[09:39] Akemi
Yeah, what do you even want
to do once you get there?
[09:43] Natsuki
When I get to the other world,
I can reset everything and start over!
[09:47] Natsuki
Anything dumb I did in this world
would never have happened!
[09:50] Tatsu-ni
You're right. It'd be nice if all
the results of the bad drinking and eating habits
[09:54] Tatsu-ni
I had when I was young would disappear.
[09:57] Yamada
Why don't you just exercise,
go on a diet, and get back on track?!
[10:01] Natsuki and Tatsu-ni
You really think people who could do that
would want to go to another world?!
[10:04] Yamada
No doubt, you guys are the type that
even the other world wouldn't want.
[10:07] Akemi
You can start over, huh?
[10:10] Akemi
Do you really think so?
[10:12] Akemi
You'll be thrown into a world
where language and common sense
[10:14] Akemi
are completely different
from what you're used to.
[10:16] Akemi
What a hassle, sheesh.
[10:19] Akemi
You can't use your 10,000 yen!
[10:20] Item storekeeper
If you can't pay in croaks, get outta here!
[10:23] Akemi
It's so dirty!
[10:24] Innkeeper
Shower? What's that?
[10:27] Rowdy man
This is the beginning town.
[10:29] Akemi
I want you to tell me something else.
[10:32] Rowdy man
This is the beginning town.
[10:34] Yamada
You look like you've actually
experienced it or something.
[10:37] Akemi
There's nothing great
about alternate worlds.
[10:40] Akemi
First off, do you really think you could
start everything over if you went?
[10:45] Akemi
You're going to end up making the same
mistakes you did here in the other world,
[10:48] Akemi
and in the end you'll just keep
adding to your shame in the multiverse.
[10:53] Natsuki
But everyone who goes to
another world does great!
[10:57] Akemi
That's only a small percentage!
[10:59] Natsuki
A small percentage?
[11:01] Akemi
That's right.
[11:02] Akemi
What everyone is reading about,
going to the other world and using cheats,
[11:05] Akemi
and having harems and whatnot...
[11:08] Akemi
Those are only a small percentage
of cases where things happen
[11:09] Akemi
to work out in their favor.
[11:10] Akemi
Those are the only ones that get novelized.
[11:12] Akemi
In reality, most of the people
are miserable there!
[11:16] Natsuki
Even so, if you're granted a cheat
ability you could totally do it, right?
[11:20] Natsuki
If I had special powers, I'd...
[11:22] Akemi
You're taking it too lightly.
[11:23] Akemi
Even if you did have a cheat ability,
[11:26] Akemi
your hikikomori self would prevent you
from making full use of it.
[11:31] Akemi
I can see it now. You'll end up
softly mumbling to yourself
[11:34] Akemi
while an extrovert with mediocre abilities
will take the spotlight and get the girl.
[11:39] Natsuki
No way...
[11:41] Akemi
So stop trying, and work hard
in the real world.
[11:45] Yamada
That's right. Perhaps find
your passion in something...
[11:48] Akemi
Yep, yep. You said it.
[11:52] Tatsu-ni
I was thinking, I don't have
a passion for anything either...
[11:55] Tatsu-ni
But I'll keep that to myself.
[11:58] Basue
Then why don't you try
working hard for someone?
[12:03] Yamada
She's still a little glitchy.
[12:05] Natsuki
For someone?
[12:07] Basue
That's right. You make it so that
it's for someone other than yourself.
[12:11] Yamada
That's true. You'd be more motivated to
work hard for your family or a loved one.
[12:17] Natsuki
But I don't have anyone like that...
[12:20] Tatsu-ni
Then, since you're here,
how about you work hard for Akemi-chan?
[12:26] Akemi
Me?
[12:27] Tatsu-ni
I figured, since you've been
a hikikomori this whole time,
[12:29] Tatsu-ni
there must be some kind of special bond
between you and a woman you meet.
[12:33] Basue
I'm a woman too, you know.
[12:36] Tatsu-ni
That one's a little...
[12:37] Basue
You damaged my self-esteem!
[12:41] Akemi
Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to have
someone work hard for me.
[12:47] Akemi
Actually, it feels really good.
[12:49] Akemi
All right then, Natsuki-san, work hard for me
and become a patron of this store!
[12:54] Natsuki
For the junior hostess...
[12:57] Akemi
You could call me Akemitan.
[12:59] Natsuki
Akemitan.
[13:05] Natsuki
Uh, no can do. I just thought it
through and it's definitely impossible!
[13:08] Akemi
Like I said, go home!
[13:10] Natsuki {background}
Well, you're not a goddess
or a queen, nor a half-elf!
[13:11] Tatsu-ni
Is Shueisha cool with this segment?
[13:14] Yamada
I can guarantee you Kadokawa's not.
[13:15] Akemi {background}
I'm sorry, I have no idea
what you're talking about!
[13:16] Tatsu-ni
We could just apologize.
[13:17] Natsuki {background}
Well, that sounded a bit spicy...
[13:17] Yamada
Yes.
SIGN (Let's meet at that place.)
[13:26] Akemi
Daily life sure is the best...
[13:29] Tatsu-ni
You said it.
[13:31] Kosame
What happened?
[13:37] Akemi
By the way...
[13:39] Akemi
Don't you feel like going fishing?
[13:41] Tatsu-ni
Yeah, that sounds nice... fishing...
[13:43] Akemi
Oh, the fishing I'm talking about is, you know,
[13:46] Akemi
the kind where you use a rod and
a string as a tool to catch fish.
[13:50] Tatsu-ni
That's exactly the kind I was thinking of.
[13:53] Akemi
How about you, Kosame-chan?
[13:55] Akemi
Are you interested?
[13:56] Kosame
Yeah. It's nice to go once in a while.
[14:00] Akemi
Right? I want to go fishing...
[14:04] Tatsu-ni
It's nice, isn't it? Fishing...
[14:07] Akemi
All right! Then...
[14:13] Akemi
I want to go... fishing...
[14:16] Tatsu-ni
Yeah, I wanna go... fishing...
[14:20] Kosame
These two are just wishing for it
and not bothering to make any plans!
[14:24] Akemi
Tatsu-ni, please take me!
[14:26] Akemi
If you have any leftover fishing accessories,
please lend them to me!
[14:28] Akemi
And not that dirty rod!
[14:30] Tatsu-ni
Are you pretending I just said,
"I've only got one rod for you to hold?"
[14:33] Akemi
What kind of tiny-ass fish
are you trying to catch with that rod?
[14:37] Akemi
It's more like a worm than a rod!
[14:39] Tatsu-ni
Stop for a sec, Akemi-chan.
[14:41] Tatsu-ni
Let's sort this out in order.
[14:43] Tatsu-ni
First of all, my peepee is not a worm.
Besides, I wasn't even talking about that!
[14:48] Akemi
What do you mean "I wasn't"... what?!
[14:51] Kosame
Nobody was talking about that!
[14:52] Kosame
Except for you, Akemi-san!
SIGN Snack Basue
[14:56] Kosame
Snack Basue.
SIGN (It's of the past...)
[15:07] Akemi
What, is it about WNPL again?
[15:09] Morita
What's that? Some kind of pro-wrestling group?
[15:11] Akemi
WNPL is... "Why am I Not
Popular with the Ladies?"
[15:15] Morita
You didn't have to give it an acronym.
Besides, I'm done with that.
[15:19] Akemi
Oh? How so?
[15:21] Morita
I... finally found out.
[15:26] Morita
Why I'm not popular with the ladies...
[15:29] Akemi
The end.
[15:29] Morita
I'm just getting started!
[15:35] Kazama
Hey y'all!
[15:38] Akemi
The door you just came in is the exit.
[15:40] Kazama
You're already showing me the exit?!
[15:44] Kazama
Anyways, give me a shochu mixed
with hot water, will ya?
[15:49] Kazama
Hey, it's Morita-kun!
[15:52] Kazama
Oh, man. Talk about nostalgia!
[15:54] Kazama
This is exciting!
[15:56] Kazama
Wha? When was the last time I saw you?
[15:58] Kazama
Wasn't it when we graduated middle school?!
[15:59] Kazama
Seriously, blast from the past!
[16:02] Morita
Hey...
[16:03] Akemi
You're really putting the distance...
[16:05] Kazama
Huh? What? What's with this cold reception?!
[16:08] Kazama
Did you forget about me or something?
[16:11] Morita
I remember you...
[16:13] Morita
You're Kazama-kun, right?
[16:15] Akemi
Morita...
[16:17] Akemi
Do you have some kind of trauma
about being bullied or something?
[16:21] Morita
No, it's nothing like that. It's just...
[16:25] Morita
It's been more than 10 years
since I saw him in middle school!
[16:28] Morita
We're practically strangers!
[16:30] Akemi
I understand!
[16:31] Kazama
What? I don't get it?!
[16:34] Morita
Hey, we're no longer students.
We're adults now, so...
[16:39] Morita
There are certain formalities that
need to be respected, you know?
[16:41] Kazama
Why are you talking all proper to me?!
[16:43] Kazama
Aw, come on, man.
[16:46] Kazama
We used to walk home from
school together, remember?!
[16:50] Kazama
Did you know that Morita-kun's
house is really close to mine?!
[16:54] Akemi
Oh, is it now?
[16:56] Akemi
Shouldn't you guys be more friendly, then?
[16:59] Morita
Akemi-chan...
[17:01] Morita
Despite being neighbors, please understand
that we didn't get along very well!
[17:07] Morita
It's true, we used to go home together, but...
[17:10] Morita
we've never gone over
to each other's houses!
[17:14] Akemi
Oh, I think I'm getting the picture...
[17:18] Kazama
Nah, it's just a coincidence.
[17:20] Kazama
Because, me, you, and Pokechin,
[17:23] Kazama
would hang out together after school, remember?
[17:25] Akemi
Pokechin?
[17:26] Morita
Pokechin is our friend's nickname,
because he used to always
[17:29] Morita
have his hands in his pockets and everyone
thought he was playing with himself.
[17:32] Morita
It's no use bringing up a mutual friend
to try and get friendly with me!
[17:36] Morita
The fact that we're still calling
each other "-kun"
[17:39] Morita
instead of our last names
or nicknames is the solid proof of
[17:42] Morita
just how distant we are!
[17:44] Kazama
Don't say that!
[17:47] Kazama
By the way, are you still
in touch with Pokechin?
[17:49] Kazama
Why don't the three of us
go drinking next time?
[17:51] Akemi
Man, he's persistent!
[17:53] Morita
I've been in touch with Pokechin ever since!
[17:56] Morita
But we haven't heard from you
since we graduated...
[18:00] Morita
I have no intention of hanging out together!
[18:03] Morita
As a matter of fact,
[18:04] Morita
I didn't like how you would always butt in
whenever I tried to hang out with Pokechin!
[18:11] Pokechin
Kazama-kun said he wants to play too.
[18:14] Morita
...Sure.
[18:16] Morita
I can't say I don't want to...
[18:18] Akemi
Geez, he's sure acting effeminate.
[18:23] Akemi
Oh, did it finally get through to him?
[18:27] Kazama
Anyways, I got married!
[18:30] Akemi
Anyways?! His skin is as thick as
a presidential state car! Impenetrable.
SIGN Presidential State Car
SIGN Beast
[18:34] Basue
Beast!
[18:36] Kazama
And the person I married is...
[18:39] Kazama
none other than Miyakawa,
a classmate that even Morita-kun knows!
[18:42] Kazama
A few years back, we ran into
each other and we started dating!
[18:46] Kazama
The world really is a small place!
[18:48] Morita
Stop it, will you?!
[18:50] Morita
The last thing a single man wants to hear
is a former classmate getting married!
[18:55] Morita
On top of that, I used to like
Miyakawa back in middle school!
[18:59] Morita
You're giving me a double whammy
by telling me these marriage stories
[19:03] Morita
of a former classmate and the girl I liked!
[19:05] Morita
Actually, you knew I liked her!
[19:07] Akemi
Well, that's awfully rude of you.
[19:11] Kazama
Well, yeah, I knew, but...
[19:14] Kazama
Huh? You're seriously that shocked?
[19:17] Kazama
Wouldn't an old classmate you liked
be even more of a stranger?
[19:21] Morita
I know! I know, but!
[19:24] Morita
There's a difference, you know...
[19:27] Morita
It's like if you were a fan of a celebrity and
they passed away. Wouldn't you be shocked?
[19:30] Kazama
Uh, no? 'Cus they're strangers, aren't they?
[19:33] Morita
You wouldn't care much about hearing
a beautiful voice actress is in love,
[19:36] Morita
but you'd be shocked if she
got married, wouldn't you?
[19:38] Morita
When marriage comes up, you'd be shocked
no matter who she was with, wouldn't you?!
[19:42] Kazama
No, I don't get it!
She's still a stranger, isn't she?
[19:45] Morita
Please, at least leave Rie Takahashi for me...
[19:49] Akemi
I have a feeling Rie Takahashi's
J-Alert is going off like crazy right now...
[19:54] Morita
Can't I be the last male left for humanity?
[19:58] Akemi
Just like being the only boy in a brass band,
it'll be awkward and hard to tolerate.
[20:03] Kazama
Morita-kun, remember how awkward you felt?
You quit the brass band after a week.
[20:08] Akemi
Oh, after humanity was destroyed!
[20:10] Kazama
Morita-kun, you were getting
cautious stares from the girls
[20:13] Kazama
who played the woodwind instruments.
[20:15] Morita
Quit it!
[20:17] Morita
Please let me be the one to tell those
embarrassing stories from the past
[20:20] Morita
when I feel it's the right time to tell them!
[20:22] Akemi
Why does it even matter?
[20:23] Kazama
Man, it sure is fun drinking with old friends!
[20:28] Morita
It's not fun at all for me!
[20:30] Morita
Just like I said,
[20:32] Morita
anyone who I haven't met
in over 10 years is a stranger to me!
[20:36] Morita
Clueless people like you
are no different than a harasser!
[20:41] Morita
You're even worse, since you know
all my embarrassing moments.
[20:46] Kazama
All right. I kinda get it now.
[20:50] Morita
You finally get it?
[20:54] Kazama
That's why you never came to the reunion, huh.
[20:57] Morita
What?
[20:59] Kazama
Well, since we haven't met in over 10 years,
I guess we are strangers.
[21:03] Kazama
To you, Morita-kun, a reunion is nothing
more than a gathering of strangers, isn't it?
[21:15] Morita
There was... a reunion?
[21:27] Akemi
Kazama, if you're not going to sing,
don't put in a song.
[21:30] Kazama
But Morita-kun got all quiet and stuff.
[21:34] Kazama
Junior hostess, please sing a song.
[21:34] [SONG] Caption
Reserve
SIGN Ah, Heartlessness
[21:36] Akemi
Yeah, I guess you're right. Okay.
[21:42] Kazama
Don't worry, I'll join in too.
[21:44] Akemi
Did this song have duet parts?
[21:54] Akemi
Aren't I pretty as I flutter?
Aren't I a good woman?
[22:01] Akemi
Despite your looks,
you're the type who loves unconditionally.
[22:07] Akemi
Men are unfair because they
use tenderness to get their way.
[22:14] Akemi
They run away when the dawn draws near.
[22:21] Akemi
My tears are too salty and...
[22:27] Akemi
Jealousy is nasty. Just let me do as I please.
[22:40] Akemi
When you take off your
sunglasses ,I burst into laughter.
[22:47] Akemi
I'm weak to those innocent eyes.
[22:53] Morita and Kazama {background}
Les Miserables! Yay!
[22:54] Akemi
His betrayal never
ceases even if he's handcuffed.
[23:00] Akemi
He finishes me off with his sweet words as
[23:03] Akemi
the fog falls onto the city.
[23:10] Akemi
What were you guys saying during the bridge?
[23:13] Kazama
I don't know?
[23:15] Akemi
How were you going to join in when
you're not even sure what to say?
[23:18] Kazama
It can be anything.
[23:20] Morita
It's Les Miserables...
[23:23] Morita
"Ah Heartlessness" comes from the Japanese
version of the musical Les Miserables.
[23:27] Morita
This song comes from there.
[23:30] Akemi
Oh, I see.
[23:31] Morita
On top of that, the meaning
of Les Miserables is miserable,
[23:34] Morita
but it also has an additional meaning which
is being the bottom or base of something.
[23:38] Akemi
Don't talk so badly about yourself.
[23:40] Morita
I'm just trying to explain
what the song means, you know.
[23:43] Kazama
Oh man, it sure is fun
being with you, Morita-kun!
[23:47] Morita
Not for me, it isn't!
E7 - Closer / What a Fool Believes / God Blessed Our Love
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Morita
Gluttony.
[00:04] Morita
Wrath.
[00:06] Morita
Pride.
[00:07] Morita
Envy.
[00:09] Morita
Sloth.
[00:10] Morita
Greed.
[00:13] Morita
I only have lust left to do, but...
[00:16] Yamada
Why are you trying to commit the seven
deadly sins as if you were doing a stamp rally?
[00:22] Morita
Oh man... I only have
one more left to go, you know...
[00:26] Akemi
Geez, I don't know
what you're expecting from me.
[00:30] Akemi
Morita...
[00:31] Akemi
You have it all wrong.
[00:33] Akemi
The trends nowadays are genetic modification,
SIGN Genetic
Modification
SIGN Human
Experimentation
[00:36] Akemi
human experimentation,
environmental pollution,
SIGN Environmental
Pollution
SIGN Social Injustice
[00:37] Akemi
social injustice, poverty coercion, excessive affluence, and drug addiction.
SIGN Poverty
Coercion
SIGN Excessive Affluence
SIGN Drug
Addiction
[00:42] Akemi
These are the new seven deadly sins
established by the Roman Curia.
[00:46] Yamada
That is some random fact you know!
[00:48] Morita
Then I have to do them all over again!
[00:51] Yamada
Like I was saying, why are you trying to
commit all of the seven deadly sins?!
[00:55] Morita
Because bad people are more
popular than good people, don't you think?
[00:59] Yamada
Unbelievable...
[01:00] Yamada
I don't particularly think so.
[01:03] Morita
No, no, I know!
[01:07] Morita
Popular guys...
[01:08] Morita
are all...
[01:10] Morita
villains!
[01:12] Yamada
Your personal grudge is too strong!
[01:21] [SONG] Sign
Snack Basue
[01:26] [SONG] Sign
Snack Basue
SIGN (Don't leave me behind)
[02:47] Akemi
Hmm, popular guys are all villains, huh...
[02:52] Morita
If it means I can make
a grandchild for my parents,
[02:55] Morita
then I'm willing to go to the dark side!
[02:57] Akemi
Don't make your parents cry even more!
[03:00] Morita
But, Yama-chan,
you're not popular either, right?
[03:02] Morita
You seem to be a good person, aren't you?
[03:04] Yamada
Well, no. I'm not popular.
[03:07] Morita
Do you have a girlfriend?
[03:09] Yamada
I don't have a girlfriend... Not at the moment.
[03:13] Morita
Then we're pals!
[03:14] Yamada
Pals... Yeah, I suppo—
[03:18] Morita
Virgin pals!
[03:20] Yamada
What?!
[03:21] Yamada
U-Um... I'm not a virgin, you know...
[03:26] Morita
No, no, I know.
[03:28] Morita
When a guy answers "not at
the moment" about having a girlfriend,
[03:32] Morita
it means they're an
unpopular virgin, am I right?
[03:36] Morita
Yama-chan, you just thought, "I'm more
popular than you, Morita," didn't you?
[03:40] Yamada
No... not particularly...
[03:42] Morita
It's all right. Everything is fine.
[03:45] Morita
When two virgins are competing, one is bound
to think, "I could be more popular than him!"
[03:48] Morita
and get a boost of baseless confidence.
[03:51] Morita
You know you can't win
against someone with 1 point,
[03:53] Morita
so you find someone with 0 points
and you battle it out!
[03:56] Morita
That's what being a virgin is all about!
[03:59] Yamada
W-What?
[04:02] Morita
You're into girls who cosplay
school uniforms, right?
[04:05] Morita
That's a natural reaction for someone
[04:06] Morita
who didn't experience relationships
during their school years.
[04:09] Yamada
You think you've analyzed me,
but you're only revealing your own fetishes.
[04:13] Yamada
You know, I didn't say
I don't have any experience...
[04:17] Yamada
Well, it doesn't really matter either way.
[04:20] Morita
You see, Yama-chan.
Saying it with your mouth is easy.
[04:25] Morita
Getting someone to use their mouth
on you is harder, you know.
[04:29] Yamada
What is this person even saying?!
[04:32] Yamada
Actually, it matters now! Just because
I don't want to be associated with you!
[04:35] Yamada
I am not a virgin!
[04:37] Morita
Lying is the first step to becoming a virgin!
[04:39] Yamada
Lying is the first step to becoming a virgin?
[04:42] Morita
That's right... When I think back on it,
it all started with one lie,
[04:46] Morita
when I said, "I'm going out with
that girl" during elementary school.
[04:51] Morita
That's my woman.
[04:53] Pokechin
Mott-chan, you're amazing.
[04:56] Girl B
Morita! Why did you lie like that?!
[04:58] Girl A {overlaps}
No... I don't want to... never...
[05:00] Girl C
Don't worry, it's okay now.
[05:05] Morita
That's when my virgin life started...
[05:08] Yamada
I'm worried about that girl's trauma!
[05:11] Akemi
You know, Morita.
[05:13] Akemi
You've been babbling on about
something for a while now,
[05:16] Akemi
but between you and Yamada,
you're definitely the unpopular one, okay?
[05:23] Morita
Oh, but the reason you
could easily say that to me
[05:26] Morita
is because we're really close,
don't you think, Akemi-chan?
[05:30] Morita
You could have easily said "Yama-chan is
more popular" and avoided the uneasiness,
[05:33] Morita
but instead you purposely said I wasn't the
popular one, which means you trusted me
[05:36] Morita
to be able to handle it, right?
[05:38] Morita
That means...
[05:40] Morita
I'm closer to being popular,
don't you think?
[05:43] Akemi
Is this guy invincible?!
[05:46] Akemi
Sheesh... Why do men always fight
over the stupidest things?
[05:51] Akemi
To top it off, today's is by far the worst...
[05:55] Morita
It doesn't matter what it's for!
[05:57] Morita
I just don't want to give up on
a fight I could potentially win!
[06:00] Akemi
You're the type of creep
who's often on the internet.
[06:03] Morita
I just want to experience success to gain my
confidence back so I can move on, okay?!
[06:07] Morita
I just want to move on!
[06:10] Yamada
What?
[06:11] Akemi
You say you want to move on,
but what's your end goal?
[06:18] Morita
You!
[06:19] Akemi
Don't come!
[06:21] Akemi
This is too much of a hassle, so I'm going
to make the booze extra strong, okay?
[06:24] Yamada
Why would you even say that...
[06:27] Yamada
...wait, mine too?
[06:29] Akemi
There.
[06:31] Morita
Well, Yama-chan, as fellow virgins,
let's make a toast!
[06:36] Yamada
I'm really not a virgin, you know...
[06:40] Akemi
Then why don't you tell him
about your first experience?
[06:44] Akemi
Maybe that'll finally convince Morita?
[06:47] Morita
That's it, Akemi-chan!
[06:50] Morita
Nothing is more unrealistic than a fabricated
story to pretend that he's not a virgin!
[06:56] Morita
The safer the story,
the more unbelievable it becomes.
[07:00] Morita
I've got the experience to prove
that it doesn't work! Guaranteed!
[07:05] Yamada
It was... in a car.
[07:09] Yamada
During high school, I was dating a senpai.
[07:13] Yamada
And when she became a college student,
she told me she got her license,
[07:17] Yamada
so we went on our first drive together
and that's when it happened...
[07:22] Akemi
The serious-looking ones seem
to always have the wildest pasts.
[07:27] Akemi
On top of that, since she was in school,
[07:29] Akemi
that means the car must have
been her parent's car, right?
[07:36] Akemi
What a sad look on his face...
[07:38] Yamada
He has the same face as my friend
when I first told him this story.
[07:45] Yamada
Well, I would be shocked too if I heard that
story from someone I thought was a virgin.
[07:50] Akemi
Is it really like that?
[07:53] Morita
If it were Sangetsuki,
he'd turn into a tiger...
[07:57] Akemi
What kind of example is that?
[07:59] Akemi
Morita, are you ready to admit that you lost?
[08:03] Akemi
I mean, really, so what if
you're a virgin, but anyway...
[08:06] Morita
I don't care!
[08:08] Akemi
Hey...
[08:09] Morita
I don't care about that anymore!
[08:11] Akemi
Morita...
[08:13] Morita
Yama-chan...
[08:14] Yamada
Yes?
[08:16] Morita
Please...
[08:20] Morita
Let me... Let me...
[08:24] Morita
Let me hear the rest of that story?!
[08:27] Yamada
This is the sad story of a virgin
who's become more intrigued
[08:29] Yamada
by someone else's sex
experiences than his own.
SIGN Snack Basue
SIGN (Don't make fun of me)
[08:47] Akemi
Свободное Время.
[08:49] Kosame
What did you just say?
[08:51] Akemi
Свободное Время.
[08:54] Kosame
Um... za... bo...
[08:57] Akemi
It's Russian. I said we have free time.
[09:01] Akemi
Oh hey, Kosame-chan, can you say
something stupid to kill some time?
[09:06] Kosame
What? I'll give it a try just
because we're killing time, but...
[09:10] Akemi
You're awesome for doing it, Kosame-chan.
[09:15] Kosame
...Walking smartphone.
[09:19] Akemi
Hmm, that was a little too cheeky...
[09:21] Akemi
Also, don't just say it,
[09:23] Akemi
try to really put some character into it
and make a big stupid statement.
[09:26] Kosame
Man, you're asking a lot... Then...
[09:30] Kosame
Huh? I don't know what kind of
prestigious college you came from, but...
[09:35] Kosame
that sort of thing
don't matter in the real world!
[09:38] Kosame
How was that?
[09:39] Akemi
That wasn't a stupid statement! It was
a statement that's calling people stupid!
[09:44] Akemi
Don't make a stupid statement
that's going to get you in trouble
[09:46] Akemi
with all the workers who didn't
come from a prestigious college!
[09:48] Kosame
I-I'm sorry.
[09:50] Akemi
Goodness...
[09:52] Akemi
Huh? Don't you learn that in school?!
[09:55] Kosame
That sounds like the continuation
of the bit I just did!
SIGN Snack Basue
[09:59] Yamada
Snack Basue.
SIGN (None of your business)
[10:15] Akemi
Oh, just shut up, Morita!
[10:17] Morita
I didn't say anything yet...
[10:20] Azuma
I see...
[10:23] Azuma
You've lost your confidence as
a man because you're so unpopular.
[10:28] Morita
I didn't say anything yet...
[10:30] Azuma
But, I really understand that...
[10:37] Azuma
I used to have low self-esteem in the past
and was never good with the ladies.
[10:43] Akemi
Oh, really? How did you overcome it?
SIGN Douglas Hamada
Have confidence in
your overconfidence!
Super Technique
to Become Popular
[10:48] Akemi
Okay, I get it. You don't have to take it out.
[10:52] Azuma
In that way, I feel like I'm seeing
my old self in Morita-san.
[10:57] Akemi
Isn't it a bit much to be saying
you were at Morita's level back then?
[11:01] Azuma
No.
[11:03] Azuma
During my middle school years,
I was exactly like this.
[11:07] Morita
You know it gives people mixed feelings
when an adult tells another adult
[11:11] Morita
that they were just like
them during middle school?
[11:13] Akemi
Well, yeah, I suppose there was one
person who was like Morita in school,
[11:18] Akemi
but it's hard to believe that
you were the one in that position.
[11:22] Azuma
Then... how about...
SIGN End of the Road
[11:26] Azuma
you see it for yourself?
[11:27] Akemi
Why do you even have your yearbook with you?
[11:30] Akemi
But I do love looking at people's yearbooks!
[11:33] Morita
The way her focus changes
instantly is like a pro athlete!
[11:38] Azuma
My picture is...
[11:40] Akemi
Wait! Don't tell me!
[11:43] Akemi
It's fun when you try and
guess while saying "Is this you?"
[11:47] Morita
She's a yearbook magistrate!
[11:49] Pinky
And?
[11:56] Akemi
Which girl do you like in this class?
[11:58] Morita
It always comes to this when
looking through a yearbook.
[12:01] Morita
But when you seriously think about it,
don't you think this is extremely rude?!
[12:06] Morita
Having people talk about your looks
when you aren't around is just...
[12:11] Morita
Well, I'd choose her.
SIGN Toda Natsuko
SIGN Matsuura Mina
SIGN Kikuchi Hiroshi
SIGN Okada Shouhei
[12:13] Akemi
Just as I thought, you grow
a thick skin when you've become
[12:16] Akemi
so used to people talking
about you to your face.
[12:19] Akemi
Let's just leave aside the fact
that choosing from
[12:22] Akemi
a middle school yearbook
would make anyone a lolicon, but...
[12:25] Akemi
You sure chose a girl who
looks plain. That's not like you.
[12:30] Morita
You don't get it!
You just don't get it, Akemi-chan!
[12:34] Morita
During elementary school, boys tend
to go for the cheery girls, right?
[12:38] Akemi
Well, yeah, I suppose.
[12:41] Morita
But when you get to middle school,
[12:43] Morita
you go for the girl who's a bit plain
but you feel something within her.
[12:47] Morita
You go for the girl who makes you think,
[12:51] Morita
"I'm the only one who understands
how great she is."
[12:53] Morita
Don't you see?
[12:55] Akemi
That's very much like you, Morita.
[12:57] Pinky
Gross.
[12:58] Morita
Then, when you get to high school,
you choose a girl who's close to you.
[13:03] Morita
You learn to compromise and become an adult.
SIGN A virgin who can't become an adult
[13:06] Akemi
What are you, a virgin who can't even
become an adult, preaching about?
[13:09] Pinky
I don't want to grow up...
SIGN I don't want to grow up
[13:11] Morita
Now, if we're talking about whether
I could sleep with any of them,
[13:14] Morita
I could with most, but...
[13:17] Akemi
Seriously, what are you talking about?
[13:19] Morita
You girls only look at the good-looking ones,
but it's not like that for guys.
[13:25] Morita
Boys not only consider looks,
we carefully evaluate all of the details.
[13:30] Morita
Then, ultimately, we decide whether
we can sleep with them or not.
[13:35] Akemi
What, you do that for all of the women?
[13:38] Morita
Of course. I have an eye
for this sort of thing.
[13:42] Morita
Considering I've gone
through plenty of yearbooks.
SIGN B+ Rank
SIGN A Rank
[13:46] Morita
You could trust me on this one.
[13:48] Akemi
With... yearbooks?
SIGN Unmeasurable
[13:52] Morita
Yeah, I've jerked off to many yearbooks.
[13:57] Akemi
That's... very much like you, Morita...
[13:59] Pinky
Too gross!
[14:01] Morita
I feel like I'm speaking
my mind more than usual.
[14:05] Morita
Is it just me?
[14:06] Akemi and Pinky
You're super gross
from the bottom of your heart...
[14:09] Azuma
Hey...
[14:14] Azuma
Quickly... find me, please?
[14:16] Akemi
Aw, what a dramatic thing to say.
SIGN Yearbook
SIGN End of
the Road 1990
[14:23] Akemi
Hmm... Is he part of the baseball team or not?
[14:23] [SONG] Caption {上田}
Ueda Ichirou
[14:23] [SONG] Caption {今川}
Imakawa Saori
[14:23] [SONG] Caption {大内}
Ouchi Hiroshi
[14:23] [SONG] Caption {落合}
Ochiai Fukushi
[14:23] [SONG] Caption {鴨居}
Kamoi Yuko
[14:26] Azuma
Please don't start a guessing game of whether
[14:28] Azuma
a middle school kid is in baseball or not!
[14:30] Azuma
Hey, do you really have
any intention of finding me?
[14:33] Akemi
Oh, I found him!
[14:35] Akemi
The one holding the wooden sword
in the boy's room during a school trip!
[14:38] Azuma
What are you finding?!
[14:40] Akemi
Speaking of school trips,
[14:43] Akemi
there were always boys who would try to
sneak into the girls' room, get caught,
[14:45] Akemi
and then be punished for it
by having to sit seiza-style.
[14:48] Azuma
Yeah, there were...
[14:49] Morita
I also wanted to make memories going into
the girls' room during school trips.
[14:53] Akemi
If it's you, Morita, I have a feeling
they'd be calling the police
[14:56] Akemi
instead of just making you sit seiza-style.
[14:58] Akemi
Please, if you want to sit seiza-style,
[15:00] Akemi
make it so that you got caught trying to watch
the porn channel or something instead, okay?
[15:03] Morita
Well... I was having fun by myself
in the inn's closet, so...
[15:10] Morita
Slap! Slap! Slap!
[15:11] Akemi
Don't taint the sleeping area
for one of Japan's favorite characters!
[15:16] Azuma
Hey...
[15:18] Azuma
Could you please move on to looking
at my middle school picture?
[15:22] Akemi
Yep, we're all done, so if you will, please.
SIGN Azuma Miki
SIGN Annooh Kata
SIGN Annooka Futoshi
[15:28] Azuma
It's this one.
[15:30] Akemi
An androgynous handsome boy?!
SIGN End of the Road 1990
[15:34] Akemi
What... in... the... world...
[15:38] Akemi
Does the passage of time
really change everything?!
SIGN Douglas Hamada
Have confidence in
your overconfidence!
Super Technique
to Become Popular
[15:43] Akemi
Douglas... Hamada!
[15:48] Akemi
Wait, weren't we talking about
how you weren't popular
[15:51] Akemi
like Morita during your middle school years?
[15:54] Akemi
With a cute look like that,
you must have been popular, no?
[15:57] Azuma
No...
[15:59] Azuma
I was actually bullied because I looked weak...
[16:03] Akemi
Oh...
[16:05] Azuma
Especially... by girls.
[16:07] Akemi
That... must have been tough.
[16:11] Azuma
Yeah... In the past they'd...
[16:14] Azuma
Stop! Stop it! I'm going to pee!
[16:22] Azuma
...and made me cry a lot.
[16:26] Morita
Talk...
[16:27] Morita
If it's going to help you
feel better... Keep talking...
[16:30] Morita
I'll listen.
[16:31] Akemi
Your lecherous virgin side
is showing itself again.
[16:36] Morita
Bullied, huh...
[16:38] Morita
When I look at the scribbles
on the back of the yearbook,
[16:41] Morita
I can only imagine
how horrible it must have been...
SIGN Let's meet again!
SIGN It's been
fun all year!
SIGN Thanks for
everything! It's
been fun!
SIGN Congratulations!
[16:46] Akemi
Um... That's the page where you have
friends write you messages and stuff.
[16:51] Morita
Wha? Wha?
[16:55] Akemi
But you worked really hard to
overcome the bullying.
[16:59] Azuma
Yeah, it wasn't easy...
[17:03] Azuma
I read all kinds of books,
found out that the world is big...
[17:07] Azuma
And then finding the kindness
in people was what really saved me.
[17:12] Akemi
I'm relieved to hear that there were
influences other than Douglas Hamada.
[17:17] Akemi
Morita, I hope you find kindness in people
so you can overcome the bullying too.
[17:22] Morita
I think talking as if I'm already being bullied
is a form of bullying, you know?
[17:28] Morita
No... If we're talking about the past,
I might have been the opposite...
[17:35] Akemi
What do you mean?
[17:36] Morita
I was...
[17:38] Morita
on the bullying side.
[17:41] Akemi and Azuma
I'm just as shocked as someone finding out that
the character from the first episode
[17:44] Akemi and Azuma
was the one behind everything
in a long-running series!
[17:47] Akemi
M-Morita...
[17:50] Morita
Whenever I picked up
a girl's eraser, I'd make her cry...
[17:53] Girl D
No!
[17:55] Morita
Whenever we changed seats
in class, I'd make a girl cry...
[18:03] Morita
In any case, I was always making a girl cry...
[18:06] Morita
If I were to go to jail for bullying,
I'd be at the bottom of the hierarchy.
[18:16] Akemi
Here.
[18:17] Morita
What's that?
[18:19] Akemi
Half of a painkiller;
the side made of kindness...
[18:30] Morita
I seriously don't understand why
there's a need to give me kindness.
[18:34] Akemi
By the way...
[18:36] Akemi
I wonder what it means when they say
half of it is made of kindness.
[18:40] Morita
You're going to ask that when you're
the one who gave it to me?
[18:43] Morita
Usually this sort of medication
is really harsh on the stomach,
[18:49] Morita
so to counterbalance that
they mix a stomach medicine with it.
[18:52] Morita
That's what they call the "kindness."
[18:55] Azuma
You're knowledgeable.
[18:57] Akemi
You're really amazing when it comes
to stuff like this, Morita.
[19:00] Akemi
Wait, that means...!
[19:03] DV male
Didn't I tell you to wait 8 minutes
for Yukimi Daifuku?!
[19:10] DV male
Do you want one?
[19:11] Female Victim
You're so nice.
[19:12] Female Victim
It's making me wet.
[19:13] Akemi
Even though he was the one who hit her,
[19:15] Akemi
he's trying to pass that off
as kindness by giving her some?!
[19:17] Akemi
Those are most certainly
the thoughts of an abusive man!
[19:20] Morita
After you said that I thought the same thing,
[19:23] Morita
but the medication is
suppressing inflammation, so...
[19:25] Akemi
Oh, that's true.
[19:27] Morita
It's a proper medicine, so you
have to give them credit for that.
[19:31] Akemi
Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
[19:35] Akemi
And... What were we talking about, again?
[19:38] Azuma
We were talking about how
Morita-san made girls cry.
[19:42] Akemi
Oh, that's right. We were talking about
how gross Morita has been since he was a kid.
[19:47] Morita
What? That's what we were talking about?
[19:52] Tatsu-ni
Yo.
[19:53] Akemi
Oh, Tatsu-ni, you're later than usual today.
[19:56] Basue
Peek-a-boo.
[19:58] Akemi
Huh, Mama?
[20:00] Akemi
Were you two...?
[20:01] Tatsu-ni
Can't say I can confidently live up
to your expectations, Akemi-chan.
[20:05] Basue
We just happened to meet downstairs.
[20:09] Akemi
Well, of course.
[20:11] Tatsu-ni
And I was thinking I'd sing
a song before I head home.
[20:16] Tatsu-ni
So, is it okay if I sing?
[20:19] Tatsu-ni
You guys seemed to be having a heated
conversation, so I can wait until you're done.
[20:23] Akemi
Oh, we're good.
[20:25] Akemi
We finished with the conclusion
that Morita is gross as usual.
[20:29] Morita
It seems it ended with that.
[20:31] Tatsu-ni
If you're all right with that,
Morita-chan, then I don't mind, but...
[20:37] Tatsu-ni
Oh, I actually really
wanted to sing a duet today.
[20:42] Akemi
There really are two types of people
in the world, don't you think?
[20:45] Akemi
Those who love singing duets,
and those who don't.
[20:47] Tatsu-ni
I could usually go either way, but today
just felt like a good day for a duet.
[20:54] Akemi
Is it the kind where you want to grope a breast
near the end of a song while you sing it?
[20:57] Tatsu-ni
I'm worried about how many
viewers will remember that song...
[21:01] Basue
There's zero chance that
anyone overseas will get this.
[21:05] Tatsu-ni
When it comes to actually singing
a song though, I never know what to choose.
[21:10] Azuma
Then...
[21:12] Azuma
Why don't you choose from here?
SIGN Prepare For Nightlife
SIGN 100 Duet Selections
SIGN Douglas Hamada
[21:15] Tatsu-ni
Oh, nice.
[21:17] Akemi
You really are something, Douglas Hamada.
[21:20] Tatsu-ni
Oh, I'm going to choose this one.
[21:24] Akemi
Nice, Suzuki siblings.
[21:24] [SONG] Caption
Reserve
SIGN Lonely Chaplin
[21:29] Tatsu-ni
Akemi-chan, can you sing this one?
[21:32] Akemi
Uhh... I'm not that confident
in this one, but...
[21:35] Basue
Then I'll sing it.
[21:39] Akemi
Oh, you'll sing?
[21:40] Tatsu-ni
Then I'm counting on you, Mama.
[21:43] Basue
Leave it to me.
[21:45] Tatsu-ni
The wind is reflected
in my distant-looking eyes.
[21:53] Tatsu-ni
I remember when it happened long ago.
[22:02] Basue
Your face slumped against the window.
[22:10] Basue
The sorrow you only show me.
[22:19] Tatsu-ni
Lonely Chaplin.
[22:24] Basue
Even if time passes and you disappear,
[22:32] Basue
I bet I'd still be waiting for you.
[22:38] Basue and Tatsu-ni
Smile like a little boy.
[22:46] Basue
You'll find your way home
[22:50] Basue and Tatsu-ni
back to my heart, I'm sure.
[22:55] Basue and Tatsu-ni
As long as you have your unfulfilled dream
[23:03] Basue
Oh, Do what you wanna do again.
[23:07] Basue and Tatsu-ni
Oh, Do what you wanna do again.
[23:18] Azuma
The alcohol tastes great today...
[23:20] Azuma
That's how I feel.
[23:22] Akemi
I understand. It's the perfect day
for a visit to a snack bar.
[23:26] Basue
It's because your singing was great, Tatsu-ni.
[23:30] Tatsu-ni
You're making me blush, Mama.
[23:32] Morita
Even though I was only told
how gross I was today...
[23:37] Akemi
Today's such a good day...
[23:39] Azuma
Yeah...
[23:41] Tatsu-ni
You said it...
[23:42] Basue
Yes, it was.
[23:44] Morita
Even though I was only told
how gross I was today...
E8 - None Of Us Are Free / In The Midnight Hour / Twinkle Twinkle Little Me / Angel
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN (See me as I am)
[00:05] [SONG] Caption
POOP
[00:11] Cat Yellow
Oh, are you really sure
you want to take that card?
[00:15] Cat Purple
Hmm... What?
[00:15] Cat Purple
Wait, what do you mean by that?
[00:17] Cat Yellow
Oh, you touched the card, so no takebacks.
[00:21] Cat Purple
Wha?!
[00:22] Cat Red
I really want to...
[00:25] [SONG] Caption {red}
Cat Red
[00:25] [SONG] Caption {red}
Cat Red
[00:25] [SONG] Caption {white}
Slightly Perverted
Show Off
[00:25] Cat Red
let loose above ground!
[00:29] [SONG] Caption {blue}
Cat Blue
[00:29] [SONG] Caption {blue}
Cat Blue
SIGN Slightly
Perverted
Leader
[00:29] Cat Blue
Don't even think about it, Red.
[00:31] Cat Blue
You'll get scolded by Master.
[00:33] [SONG] Caption {purple}
Cat
Purple
[00:33] [SONG] Caption {purple}
Cat
Purple
SIGN Slightly
Perverted
Sourpuss
SIGN Cat Yellow
[00:33] [SONG] Caption {yellow}
Cat Yellow
[00:33] [SONG] Caption {white}
Abnormally
Perverted
[00:34] Cat Purple
You say that, Blue,
but I know you want to let loose too.
[00:39] Cat Blue
I want to let loose!
[00:44] Cat Blue
Let's hit the streets!
[00:47] All Cats
Yeah! Cowabunga!
SIGN Snack Basue
[00:55] All Cats
Cowabunga!
[00:58] Akemi
Absolutely not!
[01:07] [SONG] Sign
Snack Basue
[01:11] [SONG] Sign
Snack Basue
[02:36] Last Boss
I see...
[02:38] Last Boss
Vargas has been defeated...
[02:40] Muscle Brain
Ha! Interesting!
[02:43] Muscle Brain
I'll hunt down the one who defeated Vargas!
[02:47] Sorceress
No cutting in line, little boy.
[02:50] Muscle Brain
What?!
[02:52] Dark Knight
Before my sword, no enemies shall prevail.
[02:59] Muscle Brain
Ha! You're a creepy bastard, as always.
[03:04] Akemi
Um...
[03:06] Akemi
Do you mind if I have a drink?
[03:06] [SONG] Caption
(Dedicated to the strong enemies... ...!)
[03:09] Last Boss
Go ahead.
[03:11] Akemi
Well then, don't mind if I do!
[03:13] Akemi
Thanks for the booze!
[03:20] Akemi
Well, customers, looking from left to right,
there seems to be some diversity among you,
[03:24] Akemi
even though I recognize most of these
tropes from somewhere, but...
[03:26] Akemi
How do you all know each other?
Is it through work?
[03:32] Last Boss
We're friends with a common goal...
[03:35] Muscle Brain
Ha! Friends?! I just wanna fight strong guys!
[03:40] Sorceress
My, aren't you a shy one?
[03:42] Muscle Brain
What?!
[03:44] Dark Knight
Before my sword, no enemies shall prevail.
[03:47] Akemi
You just said that a second ago.
[03:50] Muscle Brain
Ha! You're a creepy bastard, as always.
[03:54] Akemi
Is that supposed to be
the punchline or something?!
[03:56] Akemi
It's hard to work it here when
you're telling inside jokes, you know.
[03:59] Basue
Akemi-chan, these people are probably
all commanders of an organization
[04:04] Basue
that's fighting against the main character.
[04:05] Akemi
You look like an elderly version of
them too, lined up like that, Mama.
[04:10] Akemi
Hmm... The commanders
of an enemy organization, huh...
[04:14] Akemi
From what you just said, it sounds
like one of you was defeated?
[04:17] Akemi
Must be tough...
[04:19] Last Boss
Yeah...
[04:21] Akemi
But it's exhilarating!
[04:24] Akemi
Because the battle with the very first
commander is always the most intense one!
[04:30] Last Boss
Most... intense...?
[04:32] Akemi
That's right.
[04:35] Akemi
T-This guy... He's on a different level
from all the others I've faced before.
[04:39] Akemi
Kind of like that, and it brings
excitement to the battle.
[04:43] Akemi
All the other commanders who have
to fight after that must have it very tough.
[04:49] Sorceress
Huh? Does it need to be intense?
[04:52] Dark Knight
Dunno...?
[04:54] Akemi
Of course it does!
[04:56] Akemi
Anyone who has achieved a great accomplishment
[04:58] Akemi
must have a shining moment or they
won't be loved beyond their time!
[05:02] Akemi
In all honesty, the audience never fully
understands what the person has accomplished,
[05:05] Akemi
so they'd rather have a funny story about them!
[05:09] Akemi
Even the poet Takuboku Ishikawa,
who has a connection to Hokkaido,
SIGN Takuboku Ishikawa
[05:13] Akemi
is only popular now because of stories
about him being a shithead!
[05:16] Basue
Akemi-chan, that's your personal opinion.
[05:19] Takuboku
Lend me money.
[05:21] Akemi
Either way, anything but the main
event is what everyone desires.
[05:25] Takuboku
Time to blow it on girls.
[05:27] Muscle Brain
Hmph! Doesn't matter to me!
[05:29] Muscle Brain
I just wanna fight!
[05:32] Akemi
I wanted the muscle-brain type
to be defeated first.
[05:36] Sorceress
But, yes...
[05:38] Sorceress
I understand what you mean.
[05:40] Akemi
Right? So let's make it exciting!
[05:43] Dark Knight
Hmm... Pray tell, how does one
"build excitement?"
[05:47] Akemi
Let's see. If you have some kind of
connection with the main character,
[05:52] Akemi
I think that could heat things up.
[05:54] Muscle Brain
A connection?
[05:56] Muscle Brain
If you wanna talk about connections,
[05:57] Muscle Brain
I was the one who killed the main
character's foster parents.
[06:01] Akemi
Get out! That's a good one you have there!
[06:04] Akemi
That's good! That'll really shake things up!
[06:07] Akemi
As they say, revenge is the perfect spice!
[06:11] Sorceress
If that's the case...
[06:14] Sorceress
I was on the same side as the main
character, protecting the world and all,
[06:20] Sorceress
until I betrayed mankind after a tragic event.
[06:22] Akemi
Oh, that one is good too.
[06:25] Basue
Enemies with a sad past are always
a classic, don't you think?
[06:30] Akemi
I know, right? There has to be one
or it just doesn't feel right!
[06:35] Akemi
And?
[06:35] Akemi
How about you?
[06:37] Dark Knight
I'm... actually...
[06:40] Dark Knight
the main character's father!
[06:42] Basue and Akemi
What a shitty dad!
[06:45] Basue
Why does the main character's dad
always become the enemy?!
[06:49] Akemi
But you can't go wrong with that plot!
[06:52] Akemi
And next! How about you,
the silent one over there?
[07:00] Muscle Brain
Ha! You're a creepy bastar- What?!
[07:04] Akemi
He said something...
[07:06] Hood
I pretend to be the main character on
social media without his permission...
[07:10] Akemi and Muscle Brain
What a creepy bastard!
[07:12] Basue
How do you feel when you do that?
[07:18] Basue
Say something, will ya?
[07:21] Akemi
This is one really dark group, and I
mean that in more ways than one.
[07:24] Akemi
Well, then... Lastly, how about you,
who seems to be the leader of sorts?
[07:28] Last Boss
I...
[07:30] Akemi
I?
[07:32] Last Boss
I don't have anything...
[07:34] Akemi
What?
[07:35] Last Boss
I'm the only one who doesn't have
any connections with the main character?!
[07:39] Last Boss
If this keeps up, I might not even
run into the main character
[07:41] Last Boss
and will just suddenly appear as the last boss!
[07:45] Basue
Is it really a good idea to assume that
your friends are going to lose?
[07:49] Sorceress
You idiot, what are you even saying?
[07:53] Last Boss
Huh?
[07:54] Muscle Brain
Heh! Whatcha being distant for all of a sudden?
[07:59] Muscle Brain
We'll make sure you have enough time.
[08:02] Sorceress
So go make those connections
with the main character...
[08:06] Dark Knight
And claim thy place as the Last Boss!
[08:10] Hood
Like button.
[08:11] Last Boss
Y-You guys!
[08:14] Basue
What a beautiful friendship.
[08:17] Akemi
But, is he going to be able to
make a connection
[08:20] Akemi
that doesn't clash with anyone else's?
[08:22] Basue and Akemi
Huh? Welcome!
[08:30] Akemi
Ugh, he's the main character?
[08:37] Last Boss
Here, the bill.
[08:40] Akemi
Oh, you're leaving?
[08:42] Last Boss
Yeah...
[09:01] Akemi
That's the one thing you shouldn't do!
SIGN (Embrace your inner child)
[09:15] Tatsu-ni
Man, I want to... go to the amusement park.
[09:19] Akemi
Welcome!
[09:20] Tatsu-ni
This place is more like a zoo
than anything else.
[09:24] Akemi
Moo!
[09:25] Tatsu-ni
Oh, are you pretending to be a cow?
[09:28] Akemi
Nope, it's a giraffe.
[09:30] Tatsu-ni
See, it is a zoo.
[09:33] Tatsu-ni
Well... You see, once every few years,
[09:36] Tatsu-ni
there's a phase when I really feel like
getting on a roller coaster,
[09:40] Tatsu-ni
and that time is right now.
[09:42] Akemi
An amusement park, huh...
[09:46] Akemi
I'm really bad with roller coasters and stuff.
[09:49] Akemi
But I do love ferris wheels!
[09:53] Akemi
They say smoke and idiots
like high places after all.
[09:57] Tatsu-ni
Are you calling yourself out?
[09:59] Akemi
Just so you know, I'm the smoke, okay...
[10:02] Tatsu-ni
Calling yourself smoke
is what an idiot would say.
[10:06] Akemi
But yeah, amusement parks are nice.
[10:09] Akemi
If you drive us, I don't mind tagging along.
[10:13] Tatsu-ni
Just what kind of car do you think I drive?
[10:16] Tatsu-ni
Oh, uh, but...
[10:21] Tatsu-ni
Looks-wise, you think it'll be okay for us to go
to the amusement park together?
[10:26] Akemi
Looks-wise?
[10:28] Tatsu-ni
If we go to the amusement park
together during the day,
[10:32] Tatsu-ni
wouldn't we be bad influences on the little
ones who are there with their families?
[10:35] Akemi
I think it'll be okay? People might
think we're a family too.
[10:40] Tatsu-ni
You think so? Now that you mention it,
[10:43] Tatsu-ni
our ages are far apart enough
to seem that way, but...
[10:46] Tatsu-ni
But people might think I'm just doing papa-katsu!
[10:50] Tatsu-ni
On top of that, if it's just the two of us,
[10:52] Akemi
it's pretty much like we're going on
a date to the amusement park...
[10:54] Akemi
Oh, man...
[10:55] Tatsu-ni
I'd see you as a woman, so it's a no-go.
[10:59] Akemi
I'm a little happy that you see me as a woman,
[11:03] Akemi
but to be told it's a no-go
because of it pisses me off.
[11:06] Akemi
Hmm... Then why don't we invite Mama, too?
[11:10] Tatsu-ni
Mama, huh...
[11:11] Akemi
If it's just two people, they would
look like a pair of night owls, but...
[11:14] [SONG] Caption
Outlaw
[11:14] Basue
Outlaw!
[11:15] Akemi
when you add an elderly figure, they would
resemble a group with higher morals.
SIGN Elderly IN! Moral UP!
[11:19] Basue
Elderly IN! Moral UP!
[11:22] Tatsu-ni
But if Mama is there
and you're there, Akemi-chan...
[11:25] Tatsu-ni
It'll be just like the snack bar.
[11:28] Tatsu-ni
You gotta keep up the amusement park imagery.
[11:30] Akemi
Tatsu-ni, I bet you're the type who nitpicks
where the indirect lighting is in a room!
[11:35] Akemi
Then why don't you just go by yourself?
[11:37] Tatsu-ni
Well, that's a little...
[11:39] Tatsu-ni
I don't think you could enjoy
the roller coaster if you went by yourself...
[11:45] Akemi
Then just invite Morita and Yamada...
[11:48] Akemi
Wait, no, they don't seem like the types
to go to an amusement park...
[11:52] Tatsu-ni
Well, three dudes going
to an amusement park would...
[11:56] Tatsu-ni
absolutely be fun!
[11:58] Akemi
What, even though you guys are old men?
[12:00] Tatsu-ni
Because we're going to an amusement park
to ride on the roller coaster
[12:05] Takuboku
and they're both wearing glasses!
[12:07] Akemi
You know they make you take off
the glasses before you get on now,
[12:09] Akemi
and only a few would even understand that joy!
[12:12] Tatsu-ni
And it doesn't matter how old you are,
it's always fun hanging with just the guys.
[12:17] Akemi
The way you said that annoys me a bit somehow.
SIGN Snack Basue
[12:22] Akemi
Snack Basue.
[12:32] Morita
It's me, with my super rare jackpot entrance!
SIGN (That honest girl)
[12:38] Kosame
Welcome...
[12:41] Morita
Oh... You're the new hire, right?
[12:45] Morita
Where are Akemi-chan and Mama?
[12:47] Kosame
I'm sorry... It's only me today...
[12:52] Morita
Oh... I see...
[12:55] Morita
Well, may I have a shochu mixed
with water then, please...
[12:59] Kosame
Oh, yes.
[13:05] Akemi
You know how people compare
changes in the anime they watched
[13:08] Akemi
to the original manga it came from?
[13:11] Basue
Uh-huh, they do.
[13:13] Akemi
Are they going to tell us that
in the manga it was like this,
[13:15] Akemi
but the anime is just putting in filler?
[13:19] Basue
Is that something that needs
to be mentioned now?
[13:22] Akemi
I figured if we're going to be
bashed for it, why not bash it first?
[13:25] Basue
Akemi-chan, anime has its own
reasons for being like that.
[13:31] Basue
More importantly...
[13:33] Basue
We were watching over
Kosame-chan from another room
[13:36] Basue
to see if she can handle the shift alone, but...
[13:39] Basue
To think, of all people,
it was Morita-chan who came today...
[13:44] Basue
I was watching over her as if she were
going on her first errands,
[13:47] Basue
but now it feels more like a reality TV show.
[13:54] Akemi
Oh, come on!
[13:55] Akemi
Why are you acting so shy?!
[13:57] Akemi
Especially you, Morita! It's not like you!
[14:00] Akemi
You have the advantage as a paying customer,
so do your best and go on the attack!
[14:04] Basue
The one who has to work hard
is Kosame-chan, you know?
[14:08] Basue
But this match...
[14:10] Basue
It's up to Kosame-chan's hospitality skills,
but it's also interesting to see whether
[14:15] Basue
Morita-chan can back out and
go home without messing up.
[14:21] Akemi
I only sense a sour match coming on...
[14:24] Basue
While we're babbling on here,
[14:26] Basue
this match depends on whether
Kosame-chan can take the lead...
[14:30] Kosame
Um...
[14:33] Kosame
Do you want to sing?
[14:34] Basue and Akemi
She took it out! The karaoke remote!
[14:38] Basue
Just as I theorized, she's making
the guest sing to make it last.
[14:42] Akemi
But Morita isn't the type to
sing in a situation like this...
[14:47] Akemi
He's the type where if everyone
went to the izakaya
[14:50] Akemi
he'd be the only one unable
to decide what to get.
[14:55] Akemi
A guy like that can't possibly choose
the first song to sing at a snack bar!
[15:04] Akemi
No way...
[15:06] Akemi
Can you sing it, Morita?!
[15:08] Basue
Negative!
[15:10] Basue
That's just him looking through
the song history!
[15:12] Basue
It's the same action as a shy person
staring at a bottle label for no reason!
[15:17] Akemi
I can't stand just hearing the sad
noises coming from the remote!
[15:21] Basue
And because he's trying to fill
the awkward silence by drinking his booze,
[15:25] Basue
it's emptying so quickly!
[15:27] Akemi
Any guy who tries to fill in
the time by drinking
[15:30] Akemi
also seems to have a hard time
getting up to go to the bathroom,
[15:32] Akemi
but I wonder if he'll be okay...
[15:35] Akemi
I wonder if Kosame-chan will notice
this sudden attack-like way
[15:38] Akemi
that he's emptying his glass.
[15:40] Basue
Oh! I think she did notice it!
[15:43] Akemi
Nice, but...
[15:46] Basue and Akemi
She's making it really strong!
[15:51] Basue
I guess she went with the
"get them drunk first" approach.
[15:55] Akemi
Kosame-chan has really grown...
[15:59] Kosame
You don't... usually sing much, huh?
[16:03] Basue
Oh, s-she went there!
[16:04] Basue
She's using karaoke as a starting point
SIGN Karaoke
SIGN Not Sing
SIGN Sing
SIGN Favorite Singer?
SIGN Sing
SIGN Has One
SIGN Doesn't Have One
[16:05] [SONG] Caption
Talk About Popular Songs
SIGN Personality Denial
SIGN Sing
[16:06] Basue
to lead to a conversation about what
music artists he likes!
[16:08] Basue
The ultimate combo to guarantee a win!
SIGN Dreams
SIGN Love
SIGN Hope
[16:10] Akemi
This girl... She's leveling up while in battle!
[16:12] [SONG] Caption
Infinite
[16:14] Morita
I like singing, but...
I don't usually sing at the snack bar.
[16:19] Kosame
What kind of songs
do you sing outside the snack bar?
[16:23] Morita
Well...
[16:25] Morita
I'd say... my own songs.
[16:28] Basue and Akemi
Ouch!
[16:30] Akemi
That's what I'm talking about, Morita!
[16:33] Basue
Seriously, I can't tell
if he's serious or joking!
[16:36] Basue
Even he has a look like,
"Why did I just say that?"
[16:42] Akemi
It's like the look you get when you're
asked at the convenience store
[16:44] Akemi
"Would you like it warmed up?" and you
end up answering super loud by mistake.
[16:49] Kosame
Your own... Oh, are you a singer?
[16:52] Morita
No... It's nothing like that, but...
[16:55] Morita
You know... I only do it as a hobby and...
[16:58] Morita
I don't have other people
listen to it or anything...
[17:01] Morita
Well... How should I put it...
[17:03] Morita
I sing it in the process of making it...
[17:07] Akemi
He should have just changed
the subject back to favorite singers
[17:10] Akemi
and forgotten that he even mentioned it...
[17:13] Basue
The journey of a clumsy and sincere man,
[17:16] Basue
who tries overly hard to remain
a gentleman to the other.
[17:19] Basue
Kosame-chan is going to have
a hard time responding to this one...
[17:21] Kosame
Wow... that's amazing!
[17:24] Basue and Akemi
What?
[17:26] Kosame
It seems really fun to make your own song!
[17:29] Kosame
So are you really good at
reading sheet music too?
[17:33] Morita
W-Well, yeah, I'm good.
[17:36] Kosame
That's really amazing!
[17:38] Kosame
Sheet music is basically
a foreign language, isn't it?
[17:41] Morita
Foreign language?
[17:42] Kosame
That means you're practically bilingual!
[17:46] Akemi
The stupidity of her words
emphasizes their sincerity.
[17:50] Basue
Fortissimo, indeed!
[17:54] Akemi
What even... She's such a good girl...
[17:56] Akemi
If a nice girl like her
was at a snack bar, I'd go too.
[18:00] Basue
Akemi-chan! You're suppose
to be that nice girl!
[18:05] Morita
I'm heavily influenced by the acapella trend.
[18:08] Kosame
What is that?
[18:10] Morita
To put it simply, acapella is
when you sing with no accompaniment.
[18:15] Morita
And there used to be a show
where amateurs would sing on TV.
[18:18] Kosame
It sounds amazing.
[18:21] Morita
Although, supposedly, songs sung in churches
were known as acapella singing at first.
[18:25] Kosame
A church, sounds amazing.
[18:28] Morita
Even though there are no instruments being used,
[18:30] Morita
I was so moved by it that I started doing it myself.
[18:33] Basue
I was a little worried about
the execution at first, but...
[18:34] Kosame {background}
Wow, sounds amazing.
[18:36] Akemi
It seems like things are
going well and they're having fun...
[18:43] Basue
Oh, I don't have the patience anymore!
[18:45] Basue
Let's go intrude! Just like in the ending
of a touching youth documentary!
[18:50] Basue
With the Carpenter's song playing in the back!
[18:52] Akemi
All right! Let's do it!
[18:59] Basue
The Carpenter's song
didn't play in the background!
[19:03] Akemi
There's also a reason for that too!
[19:09] Morita
Oh, they're kind of running
at us in slow motion?!
[19:13] Akemi
Yay! There's still more to come
after the commercials!
[19:16] Basue
After the commercials,
they're going right into the next program,
[19:19] Basue
so we're going to quickly roll the credits
and end it here for today.
[19:24] Morita
What are you talking about?!
[19:28] Akemi
My, you've shown us something really good.
[19:32] Basue
How do you feel at the moment, Morita-chan?
[19:35] Morita
Um...
[19:39] Morita
I would like the bill, please...
[19:41] Akemi
Huh...?
[19:43] Basue
Did he just...
[19:46] Basue and Akemi
decide that it was now time to back out?!
[19:48] Kosame
If someone awkwardly hassles you,
it's only natural to feel that way...
[19:58] Morita
Kosame-chan's hospitality, huh...
[20:01] Akemi
Yup, I'm sure there are
going to be more days like this.
[20:04] Basue
With that said, Kosame-chan,
you did really good today.
[20:09] Kosame
Really?
[20:11] Basue
You were able to carry a conversation
for that long with shy Morita-chan here.
[20:15] Basue
You'll be just fine.
[20:17] Morita
I'm satisfied too,
knowing I was able to help out.
[20:20] Akemi
Oh, but Kosame-chan, please be careful.
[20:24] Akemi
Morita will become more bothersome
the more you see him.
[20:27] Morita
Am I like the middle boss that always
comes out in a series or something?
[20:32] Akemi
Why do you always try to be the character
who might be popular someday?
[20:35] Morita
At first you might think,
"I really don't like this character."
[20:37] Morita
But it's the trope where you
start liking them after a while.
[20:38] Kosame
Mama.
[20:39] Basue
What's up?
[20:40] Akemi {background}
I would really like to know
[20:41] Kosame
Akemi-san and Morita-san
are a perfect match, aren't they?
[20:41] Akemi {background}
just how you could even think that
you would be such a character?
[20:46] Morita
Kosame-chan, you understand!
[20:46] Akemi
Kosame-chan, what are you talking about?!
[20:48] Akemi
Saying something like that
at a snack bar is taboo!
[20:51] Akemi
And even if we weren't at a snack bar,
and even if you were the perfect little miss idol,
[20:55] Akemi
I would never let you say something like that about me and Morita!
[21:00] Morita
Do you have something against idols?!
[21:03] Kosame
Ow...
[21:04] Akemi
Here! As a punishment, you have to sing a song!
[21:08] Kosame
Oh man... I don't know
any old songs. I'm young.
[21:14] Akemi
Slyly stating just how young you are, I see...
[21:17] Basue
It could be anything.
[21:19] Basue
Usually, there are no rules at a snack bar
as to what song you have to sing.
[21:24] Kosame
Even if it's like a rap song in crazy English?
[21:27] Basue
That's my specialty.
[21:30] Kosame
Oh, I see...
[21:33] [SONG] Caption
Reserved
SIGN Friends
[21:33] Akemi
Hey, you do know a song.
[21:38] Kosame
My mom likes this song.
[21:41] Akemi
Your mom, huh...
[21:44] Kosame
Yeah, since I'm young.
[21:46] Akemi
A not-so-sly comment stating how young you are.
[21:49] Akemi
I'm still pretty young too, you know?!
[21:53] Akemi
I learn about these songs at work!
[21:55] Morita
Shh! No one said you weren't young, okay?
[22:01] Kosame
The day I kissed him,
I couldn't even look Mom in the face.
[22:13] Kosame
Collecting coins from a pocket,
one by one, we counted our dreams.
[22:26] Kosame
See there? That was our secret hideout.
[22:34] Kosame
A secret memory. Oh!
[22:38] Kosame
When did we fall apart? Oh friends!
[22:44] Kosame
On days we hung our heads,
we stared at one another.
[22:50] Kosame
When we locked our fingers, Oh friends!
[22:56] Kosame
I felt like time stopped.
[23:05] Kosame
Did I sing it right?
[23:08] Akemi
You did good!
[23:10] Morita
Yeah, it was good!
[23:12] Kosame
Really?
[23:14] Kosame
I'm really happy to hear that
from a professional.
[23:17] Morita and Akemi
Huh?
[23:18] Kosame
Because you said you write songs.
[23:21] Akemi
Is this girl really an idiot?
[23:25] Akemi
Kosame-chan, what did you learn from school?
[23:29] Kosame
I learned everything important
from games and not school.
[23:34] Morita
What?
[23:34] Akemi
Not good...
[23:36] Basue
Well sure, we are only
getting weird customers recently.
[23:41] Akemi
And of course, your perception
of the world would fall apart.
[23:43] Basue
Of course, you'd feel as if time had stopped.
[23:47] Morita
You don't have to forcefully
match it to the lyrics, you know?
E9 - Release Yourself / Bad, Bad Whiskey / Can't Get Any Harder
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:21] Hero
Normal attack, buffed by multiple
attack power enhancement spells!
[00:33] Holy Sword
Well done, Hero...
[00:35] Holy Sword
You have done well defeating
the Guardian of the Holy Sword...
[00:39] Hero
This is the Holy Sword...
[00:42] Hero
The legendary Holy Sword...
[00:45] Hero
The holy sword of legend?
[00:47] Holy Sword
Dear Hero...
[00:48] Hero
Squa... Eni...?
[00:51] Holy Sword
Before you receive thy sword,
answer my question...
[00:57] Holy Sword
What is true strength to you?
[01:02] Hero
True strength...?
[01:06] Hero
It's case by case... I'd say it depends
on the time and situation.
[01:10] Holy Sword
It is unfortunate, but it seems you are
not ready to receive thy sword yet.
[01:15] Holy Sword
True strength...
[01:18] Holy Sword
When you've found the answer,
come once again to this place...
[01:24] Hero
True... strength...
[01:29] Hero
What is that?
[01:30] Akemi
If you have to ask that
at a run-down snack bar,
[01:33] Akemi
it's not something you'd ever understand...
[01:42] [SONG] Sign
Snack Basue
[01:47] [SONG] Sign
Snack Basue
SIGN (You're thinking too much)
[03:09] Yamada
Um... Who is... he?
[03:12] Akemi
The Hero.
[03:14] Yamada
Hero...
[03:16] Akemi
Speaking of which,
[03:16] Akemi
it's bothersome to have the hero come here
on a regular basis, you know...
[03:20] Hero
Then why is there a save point set up here?
[03:23] Akemi
What?! The heck is that?!
[03:25] Akemi
What kind of garbage would this thing
even be considered,
[03:26] Akemi
according to the city's waste classifications?!
[03:27] Hero
And isn't she the old hag fortune teller
who gives you hints for the adventure?
[03:33] Akemi
True. She does frequently give advice
on the adventure known as life, but...
[03:38] Basue
In my case, I only search
for the words you want to hear
[03:44] Basue
and encourage you to pursue them, is all...
[03:47] Akemi
Nice joke!
[03:49] Akemi
That Holy Sword, was it?
[03:52] Akemi
Wouldn't it have been better
to just ignore it and take the sword anyway?
[03:55] Akemi
You know, maybe only those who can steal it
by force are worthy of its power?
[04:01] Hero
It's not good to say something a cynical
junior high school brat would say.
[04:05] Akemi
If you're going to say something
as sensible as that,
[04:07] Akemi
could you at least go by our dress code
and wear something from this world?
[04:10] Hero
Then what is true strength to you,
junior hostess?
[04:14] Akemi
True strength to me?
[04:19] Akemi
Money.
[04:22] Junior high school brat
Yeah, life is all about the money.
[04:24] Adult Junior high school brat
It's not just about the money!
I'm going to find my dream job!
[04:27] Middle-aged Junior high school brat
Money... Money... Money... Money!
[04:30] Hero
Are you the junior high school brat who
thinks he knows what the real world is about?
[04:32] Akemi
I know it sounds like something
a junior high school brat would say,
[04:36] Akemi
but I stepped out into the real world
and found out it really is all about the money!
[04:39] Akemi
I don't know what true strength is...
[04:43] Akemi
What do you think, old hag fortune teller?
[04:45] Basue
The answer that lies
within this crystal ball says...
[04:49] Basue
true strength is...
[04:52] Basue
love!
[04:53] Akemi
That's the answer of a junior high school brat
who grew up with parents who loved him.
[04:57] Yamada
Besides, don't you think
true strength is something
[05:00] Yamada
only a junior high school brat would think about?
[05:03] Akemi
I know, right? No matter how you say it,
finding the answer to true strength
[05:07] Akemi
just has that junior
high school brat vibe to it...
[05:09] Hero
And pondering it is making me feel stupid,
so please stop.
[05:12] Akemi
Well, I think money is stronger
than love, so...
[05:17] Basue
Huh? Is that so?
[05:19] Akemi
Because life really is all about the money!
[05:22] Akemi
These words are widely
acknowledged by so many people!
[05:25] Akemi
If you have money, you can buy anything!
[05:27] Akemi
Love is... only a fleeting thing
compared to money!
[05:31] Basue
Negative!
[05:33] Basue
Love is!
[05:34] Basue
Calling it a "fleeting thing"
is nothing but an excuse!
[05:37] Basue
Love is!
[05:38] Basue
Very precious!
[05:40] Basue
If it's true love, there is no way
it would lose to money!
[05:45] Basue
A rich life without love is...
[05:48] Basue
Know that it is empty!
[05:50] Akemi
If you're going to shake up capitalism
with those words, Mama,
[05:51] Basue {background}
Love... Love...
[05:54] Akemi
then prepare to be met
with complete resistance!
[05:56] Basue
Besides,
[05:58] Basue
Akemi-chan, you're still in debt
because of your previous man,
[06:04] Basue
which means you chose love over money.
Wouldn't that make love the winner?
[06:10] Akemi
In a way, it sounds like I bought
love with money,
[06:13] Akemi
but I've completely lost... my will... to fight.
[06:17] Hero
Then we're agreeing that true strength is love.
[06:20] Yamada
Ah, wait a minute, please.
[06:22] Hero
Yes?
[06:24] Yamada
If you say it in a manner that gives away
that you got the answer from someone else,
[06:29] Yamada
don't you think the Holy Sword
will refuse that answer
[06:32] Yamada
since it's not straight from your heart?
[06:35] Hero
Are you saying people who act as if they've
accomplished something themselves,
[06:38] Hero
but really looked it up in wiki walkthrough
guides or watched videos of it, should shove it?
[06:42] Basue
Don't bash us with an example
that wouldn't even exist in your world.
[06:48] Yamada
In all honesty, I don't even think the person
asking understands what true strength is.
[06:54] Yamada
Instead of answering it straight,
why don't you try to keep it vague.
[06:58] Yamada
That way it kind of sounds more convincing.
[07:01] Hero
For example?
[07:03] Yamada
Let's see...
[07:06] Yamada
Something like...
the strength to overcome oneself?
[07:10] Hero
The strength... to overcome oneself?
[07:22] Hero
Die.
[07:23] Hero
Myself.
[07:26] Hero
Suicide?
[07:28] Yamada
It's not always about putting
your life on the line, you know!
[07:31] Basue
Still, in a way, they're related...
[07:35] Basue
It's the power to overcome
the pain and fear of death.
[07:39] Basue
To overcome oneself means
to control your own mind.
[07:44] Akemi
Is it like a "I really want these clothes,
but I only have enough for food this month...
[07:48] Akemi
Oh! Just buy it anyway!" sort of way?
[07:50] Yamada
You're not controlling it at all!
[07:52] Basue
Still, in a way, they're related...
[07:55] Yamada
How?!
[07:59] Akemi
Poop.
[08:00] Basue
Yes, that too, in a way, is related...
[08:03] Yamada
That's just about having a bowel movement!
[08:05] Yamada
Please stop making irresponsible remarks!
[08:08] Basue
Negative!
[08:09] Basue
To overcome oneself
means thinking, "Oh, this is bad,"
[08:13] Basue
and still being able to overcome that obstacle!
[08:15] Basue
Which means!
[08:17] Basue
It's the strength to be able to
plop poop according to one's own will.
[08:21] Yamada
Wha...
[08:22] Akemi
Mama... I know I was wrong to say poop
in the first place, but that's just wrong.
[08:29] Yamada and Akemi
Don't force it!
[08:32] Hero
It's no good... I feel like I'm going to
lose some part of my humanity...
[08:36] Basue
That's what it means to overcome one's
humanity.
[08:41] Akemi
You're the devil, Mama, for trying to
intentionally make him plop poop!
[08:45] Basue
There's no need to plop poop now...
[08:48] Basue
However, if needed, it's true strength
to be able to plop poop.
[08:54] Yamada
When would you need to plop poop on command?
[08:58] Akemi
Besides, don't you think
you wouldn't need to seek true strength
[09:01] Akemi
if you already know how to plop poop?
[09:03] Basue
But it's the Holy Sword
you get by plopping poop.
[09:07] Akemi
Yeah, I don't think so.
[09:09] Basue
Wouldn't you need that Holy Sword
to beat the last boss?
[09:15] Hero
No...
[09:23] Last Boss
This is... my second transformation!
[09:28] Last Boss
Hero... Your fate ends he—!
[09:32] Hero
Normal attack, buffed by multiple
attack power enhancement spells!
[09:38] Hero
I was able to defeat him
without the Holy Sword.
[09:44] Yamada
What?
[09:46] Basue
You... defeated him?
[09:49] Akemi
Past tense?
[09:51] Hero
Yep.
[09:53] Akemi
What? If you already defeated
the last boss, then
[09:56] Akemi
you didn't need true strength
or the Holy Sword?
[09:59] Hero
No. Since I managed to defeat the ultimate
side boss, the Guardian of the Holy Sword,
[10:04] Hero
I want the ultimate weapon,
the Holy Sword, as well.
[10:07] Yamada
A completionist, huh.
[10:09] Basue
Being able to plop poop at will is,
in a way, completionist as well.
[10:14] Yamada
I don't think so.
[10:16] Akemi
Hey...
[10:19] Akemi
Isn't the ultimate sword unnecessary,
if you already defeated the ultimate boss?!
SIGN (The me who can't get drunk)
[10:41] Akemi
Since we have free time, I guess
we could go organize the keep bottles.
[10:45] Kosame
Keep... bottles?
[10:48] Akemi
Kosame-chan, why don't you
know about keep bottles
[10:52] Akemi
when you've been working here since episode 3?
[10:55] Kosame
I'm sorry...
[10:57] Akemi
Well, it's all right.
[10:58] Akemi
I'll just explain it for everyone here
who doesn't know.
[11:02] Kosame
Who are you talking to?
[11:05] Akemi
A keep bottle is a system where the customer
[11:07] Akemi
can buy a whole bottle
and leave it at the bar to be kept.
[11:13] Akemi
It's a better deal than
ordering drinks one at a time.
[11:16] Kosame
Oh, I see. Then, is there also a keep
bottle for patrons like Tatsu-ni?
[11:23] Akemi
Tatsu-ni keeps the expensive bottles while
ordering cheap all-you-can-drink booze.
[11:29] Kosame
Why is that?
[11:30] Akemi
I have no idea. He's such a weirdo.
[11:33] Akemi
Our keep bottles have
a shelf life of about half a year.
[11:37] Akemi
After that...
[11:39] Akemi
We take responsibility to dispose of them!
[11:45] Akemi
Here, have some free booze!
[11:46] Akemi
On top of that, we're at work,
so we're getting paid to drink free booze!
[11:50] Kosame
Akemi-san.
[11:51] Akemi
What?
[11:52] Kosame
I was thinking...
[11:55] Akemi
Yeah?
[11:58] Kosame
Is booze... delicious?
[12:00] Akemi
What a childish question.
[12:02] Akemi
If you're asking me whether
booze is delicious, well...
[12:08] Akemi
Well...
[12:12] Akemi
Oh...? Now that you mention it...
[12:15] Akemi
Why am I gratefully
drinking this stank water?
[12:20] Kosame
I know it's a bit late, but it seems
everyone is drinking just to get drunk
[12:24] Kosame
and doesn't actually think
it tastes delicious, you know?
[12:27] Akemi
To add to that lateness, why did
you decide to work here, Kosame-chan?
SIGN Snack Basue
[12:35] Hero
Snack Basue.
SIGN Snack Basue
SIGN (Don't make me wait)
[12:50] Morita
Hey, Akemi-chan.
[12:53] Morita
Don't you think something's
different about me today?
[12:57] Akemi
Wake up!
[12:59] Morita
I'm not talking in my sleep.
[13:01] Morita
Come on... Take a closer look...
[13:05] Akemi
Ugh, I feel like I'm getting sick...
[13:08] Morita
That's a horrible thing to say. Seriously...
[13:11] Morita
Well, that's also why I can bombard you
with my love without hesitation, after all.
[13:16] Morita
If I bombarded an ordinary girl with my love,
I'd feel bad for them.
[13:21] Akemi
Such casual darkness...
[13:26] Tatsu-ni
Even if you look at me,
I still don't know the answer.
[13:30] Akemi
Is it because you're old?
[13:31] Tatsu-ni
If that's the case, then the same goes
for you, Akemi-chan, if you can't answer him.
[13:39] Akemi
Hmm... Something different.
[13:43] Akemi
Now that I'm looking...
does your fur look nicer?
[13:46] Morita
That sounds like you're looking at me
like I'm some sort of animal!
[13:49] Akemi
Then what is it, for crying out loud?
[13:53] Morita
You can't tell?
[13:54] Akemi
No.
[13:56] Morita
Then I'll tell you...
[13:59] Morita
Just now...
[14:01] Morita
I'm quitting jerking off!
[14:05] Morita
Well, hold on you two...
[14:08] Morita
I think it'll be a story worth listening to.
[14:11] Morita
If you think it's bad,
I won't mind you throwing a towel at me—
[14:16] Morita
Swift and fierce, I see...
[14:20] Morita
Seriously, quitting is amazing, I tell you!
[14:23] Akemi
Isn't this nonsense supposed to stop
after I throw a towel?!
[14:27] Akemi
Geez, why did you even think about
doing something like that?
[14:32] Morita
That's because... if I stop jerking off,
[14:35] Morita
the book said my body and soul
will become lighter.
[14:38] Akemi
You say book, but isn't it just an ero-manga?
[14:42] Morita
How did you know?!
[14:44] Akemi
Your choice of reading material
tends to be predictable.
[14:48] Akemi
But I suppose you're doing a good job
not jerking off, considering it's you, Morita?
[14:57] Morita
Right?
[14:59] Morita
For now, I'm limiting it to
once every three days!
[15:02] Akemi
That's still way too much!
[15:04] Morita
No, not at all. I haven't been
this patient since that school trip.
[15:08] Akemi
Seeing how you couldn't control
yourself for that four-day, three-night trip...
[15:12] Morita
For that school trip, I somehow managed to
overcome it by jerking off in the closet.
[15:14] Morita {background}
Slap! Slap! Slap!
[15:17] Akemi
We already heard about you tainting
[15:19] Akemi
the sleeping area for one of
Japan's favorite characters!
[15:23] Akemi
Just as I thought, you can't
call that quitting, Morita.
[15:27] Morita
Akemi-chan, what's important is that you
don't restrain yourself and continue on.
[15:33] Morita
Even smokers take it one step at a time, right?
[15:36] Morita
You gotta "beat yourself"
in order to persevere!
[15:39] Akemi
Beat yourself? Stop trying
to sneak in perverse words!
[15:44] Tatsu-ni
But Morita-chan, you hate
sticking with things
[15:47] Tatsu-ni
just as much as Akemi-chan does. Why all this?
[15:51] Morita
I was thinking, this is the year
I need to do something and...
[15:55] Tatsu-ni
Yeah.
[15:57] Morita
Do you know what hypnosis audio is?
[15:59] Tatsu-ni
Hypnosis audio?
[16:01] Morita
It's the thing where you get
hypnotized in a lewd manner
[16:03] Morita
by listening to an erotic voice
and it makes you feel good.
[16:05] Morita
And so I got hard, thinking that I could get
the release without touching myself, but—
[16:09] Morita
I'm going to die if you throw
a drenched towel at me, you know!
[16:12] Tatsu-ni
A second one!
[16:13] Morita
Don't you have a soul?!
[16:19] Morita
And so that's why I'm
trying to quit jerking off.
[16:23] Akemi
I still have no idea what you're talking about,
[16:27] Akemi
but is quitting masturbation that effective?
[16:30] Akemi
Are you sure it's not just some bullshit?
[16:32] Morita
Then how do you describe my state now?
[16:36] Akemi
Sheesh, but you're still jerking off...
[16:38] Morita
But gradually, from now on,
[16:41] Morita
the longer I don't have these desires,
the more results there'll be...
[16:45] Morita
From once every three days, to every four days...
[16:49] Morita
Then onto one week, one month...
[16:53] Morita
One month isn't a dream!
[16:55] Morita
The new me can do it!
[16:57] Morita
I can do this!
[16:58] Morita
I can do it! I can do it! I can do it!
[17:01] Akemi
Could you please stop hypnotizing
yourself while we're talking here?!
[17:04] Akemi
It's creeping me out!
[17:05] Akemi
And? Is your goal to not do it at all?
[17:12] Morita
Huh?
[17:16] Morita
I haven't thought about the end result...
[17:19] Akemi
Make sure you have a vision.
[17:22] Morita
But, you know...
[17:25] Morita
If there was an end,
[17:26] Morita
it might be when I get a girlfriend
from the results of not jerking off?
[17:30] Akemi
Wait, why would you get
a girlfriend by not jerking off?
[17:35] Morita
You can become handsome
by not jerking off, you know.
[17:38] Akemi
Bring me that ero-manga. I'm going to burn it.
[17:41] Morita
All my ero-manga are digitized,
so you can't burn them.
[17:46] Akemi {background}
Then I'm going to delete the data, so bring me
your cell phone and laptop and accounts...
[17:49] Tatsu-ni
Morita-chan, you can't become
a handsome man just by quitting...
[17:50] Morita {background}
Why do you need to do all that?!
[17:55] Tatsu-ni
Besides, you don't have to quit jerking off,
the desire just decreases naturally as you age.
[18:01] Akemi
Tatsu-ni, what are you
pensively smiling about?
[18:05] Akemi
Besides, even if you were able to
become a handsome man by quitting,
[18:11] Akemi
if you were to start up again
and reverted back to your old Morita self,
[18:13] Akemi
wouldn't that be scary?
[18:15] Woman
Ugh, ugly!
[18:17] Morita
Talk about a horrifying sight...
[18:20] Morita
But I heard if you continue to not jerk off,
all women start looking beautiful too...
[18:26] Morita
So then, afterward, I would be like
"Huh? Now that I look at her..."
[18:30] Morita in bed
Ugh, ugly.
[18:32] Morita
So it'd be both of us.
[18:34] Akemi
Are you sure you want that
after you've held off for so long?
[18:36] Akemi
Even if you did quit jerking off,
Morita is still Morita, after all...
[18:40] Akemi
I've heard that if you restrain yourself
too much you can get sick, so...
[18:44] Akemi
Isn't it better to just get that post-nut clarity
[18:46] Akemi
and relax after you've
jerked off a bunch of times?
[18:49] Tatsu-ni
Yeah, that's right. There's no difference...
[18:52] Tatsu-ni
Besides, the number of times you do it
goes down as you age anyway.
[18:57] Akemi
Tatsu-ni, what are you pensively smiling about?
[19:01] Akemi
Well... if you're gaining confidence by not
jerking off, then I suppose it's a good thing?
[19:08] Guy not jerking off
I haven't masturbated for six months now...
[19:11] Guy not jerking off
You're all monkeys when compared to me!
[19:14] Guy not jerking off
I'm the only human!
[19:18] Akemi
Maybe not so much...
[19:20] Akemi
Hey, why don't you try something else?
[19:23] Akemi
If you want to build confidence,
[19:25] Akemi
why don't you lose
your virginity to a prostitute?
[19:28] Morita
What if I go to a prostitute and get
hooked on it, though?
[19:31] Akemi
That's what you're worried about?
[19:34] Morita
That's the reason
why I decided to quit jerking off!
[19:38] Morita
When you get addicted to jerking off...
[19:41] Morita
it's a terrible waste of time and money!
[19:47] Morita
The hours you spend looking
for a good resource.
[19:49] Morita
The few thousand yen you've spent
on adult videos just because they were on sale!
[19:54] Morita
The ten thousands of thousands of yen you
spend on gadgets that you got into.
[19:57] Morita
Depending on the situation,
it could be a few hundred thousand yen.
[20:01] Morita
Don't you think the world is
overflowing with too much porn?
[20:05] Akemi
And suddenly you start sounding like
the old-school PTA board members.
[20:09] Akemi
Even so, it's not good to go to extremes.
[20:13] Akemi
It all comes down to maintaining
a good balance. That's what's important.
[20:17] Morita
Just like the Force.
[20:20] Akemi
And how is your time and money now that
[20:23] Akemi
you've been compromising
by doing it once every three days?
[20:27] Morita
Uhh...
[20:32] Morita
I have a little too much time and money!
[20:34] Akemi
Then go on and jerk away!
[20:36] Morita
All right!
[20:45] Morita
I'm going to use the bathroom a bit.
[20:47] Tatsu-ni
What?
[20:49] Morita
What do you mean what, huh?
[20:59] Morita
Hm? What's wrong?
[21:03] Tatsu-ni
Ah, no. I'm sure
it can't be... But Morita-chan...
[21:09] Tatsu-ni
You didn't jerk off in the bathroom, right?
[21:11] Morita
Of course I didn't!
[21:13] Tatsu-ni
Phew, I'm glad to hear that...
[21:15] Morita
Even I have common sense, geez.
[21:20] Akemi
But I wouldn't want to be
the one to go in next.
[21:24] Morita
Why not?!
[21:26] Tatsu-ni
Don't you think it'll be okay after a while?
[21:29] Akemi
Yeah, we should sing a song
until the smell settles down.
[21:34] Akemi
Here, Morita.
[21:35] Morita
Like I said, I didn't jerk off!
[21:38] Morita
And didn't I say I'm not going to sing?
[21:41] Tatsu-ni
But I heard you're a pretty
good singer. I want to hear it too.
[21:46] Morita
Even so... I'm not into
singing someone else's song...
[21:50] Tatsu-ni
I think it's pretty normal to sing other
people's songs when you do karaoke.
[21:56] Akemi
It just means there aren't many
songs Morita wants to sing.
[22:00] Akemi
Here, how about this one?
[22:03] Morita
Hmm... Yeah, I could sing this one.
[22:05] Akemi
All right!
[22:07] [SONG] Caption
Reserved
SIGN The Distant Starry Sky
SIGN Key Setting
SIGN Key Setting
[22:18] Tatsu-ni
Oh, you're taking it seriously.
[22:20] Morita
I just hate it when I can't sing it properly!
[22:25] Tatsu-ni
Just as a FYI, 500 miles is like going
from Chitose Airport to Sendai.
[22:31] Akemi
Oh, it seems surprisingly close.
[22:34] Morita
Stop inserting random facts, will ya?
[22:39] Morita
The fierce wind is now dancing within my heart.
[22:45] Morita
Was saying "Goodbye" my one-time mistake?
[22:52] Morita
Even if we're 500 miles apart,
[22:58] Morita
when the night falls,
our hearts yearn for each other again.
[23:04] Morita
The distance under the starry sky.
[23:11] Morita
Burn up! Love's resistance!
[23:17] Morita
Overcome the night between us,
[23:24] Morita
and once again, leap into my arms!
[23:29] Morita
Baby, come back!
[23:35] Morita
Even if we're far apart, me and Akemi-chan
[23:38] Morita
will also yearn for each other's
hearts, you know.
[23:39] Akemi
Go jerk off in the bathroom again!
[23:42] Morita
I'm telling you, I didn't jerk off
in the bathroom!
[23:44] Tatsu-ni
Then exactly where and
when did you jerk off, huh?
[23:47] Morita
Three days ago, at my house.
[23:49] Akemi
Oh, he's totally going to jerk off
as soon as he gets home today.
E10 - Friend To Friend / Wednesday Night / Only Sixteen
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:06] Azuma
Have you...
[00:08] Azuma
recently made a new friend?
[00:11] Morita
New friend?
[00:13] Morita
Not just this year,
but I haven't made one in a while.
[00:16] Azuma
There were plenty of chances
during our school years,
[00:20] Azuma
but since we've become adults,
don't you find it hard to make new friends?
[00:25] Morita
I had a hard time even during my school years.
[00:29] Morita
Didn't I just say, not just this year,
but I haven't made one in a while?
[00:32] Azuma
"A while" was longer than I anticipated...
[00:36] Azuma
Even so... It's hard to make friends,
but easy to lose them...
[00:41] Azuma
The number of acquaintances that you
lose contact with keeps increasing...
[00:44] Azuma
and the number of friends decreases
year after year, don't you agree?
[00:47] Morita
Oh, really?
[00:49] Morita
I only have a few friends
so I wouldn't know but...
[00:55] Azuma
I see.
[00:56] Akemi
You just gave up because you didn't get
the response you were expecting, didn't you?
[01:08] [SONG] Sign
Snack Basue
[01:12] [SONG] Sign
Snack Basue
SIGN (Please be my friend?)
[02:35] Azuma
I'm afraid I might step
on a landmine if I inquire any further...
[02:39] Morita
You know, you could ask me
anything you want. I don't mind.
[02:43] Morita
You could ask me if I get aroused
with my right nipple more than my left.
[02:47] Morita
I'll answer anything.
[02:48] Morita
Eureka.
SIGN Eureka
[02:49] Morita
Eureka.
SIGN Eureka
[02:51] Akemi
Shut it, landmine!
[02:52] Akemi
By the way, where did you want
the conversation to go?
[02:56] Azuma
Well, of course.
[02:59] Azuma
I wanted to educate you
about the content of this book.
SIGN The Douglas Hamada Method
SIGN How to make 100 friends
after you've become an adult
[03:02] Akemi
Oh, here he goes again.
[03:03] Azuma
The "Douglas Hamada Method,
[03:04] Azuma
How to make 100 friends
after you've become an adult" book!
[03:07] Akemi
You know... I've been thinking
about this for a while now,
[03:09] Akemi
but just who is this Douglas Hamada?
[03:11] Azuma
According to this book, in order for adults
to make friends, you first need money—
[03:15] Morita
Hold on a second.
[03:17] Morita
You've been going on about making friends,
but do you really need friends?
[03:22] Azuma
Huh?
[03:23] Morita
Isn't it enough to just have one best friend?
[03:26] Azuma
Isn't it better to have lots of friends?
[03:29] Morita
Think about it carefully...
[03:32] Morita
When you have more friends,
it means you have more friends of friends,
SIGN Friend
SIGN Friend
[03:37] Morita
and they're the least trustworthy
people in the world!
[03:39] Akemi
His distrust of humans is at its peak...
[03:42] Azuma
Couldn't you just be friends
with your friend's friend, too?
[03:46] Morita
That way of thinking is how you get scammed.
[03:49] Morita
Being wary of friend of a friend is the same as
being wary of a relative you don't know
[03:54] Morita
showing up after you win a big lottery ticket.
[03:57] Akemi
You are a lonely man...
[03:58] Morita
What, Akemi-chan? Do you
prefer having lots of friends?
[04:03] Akemi
It's not about having more,
[04:05] Akemi
but I think it's better to have
three groups with three friends in each.
[04:10] Akemi
I think it's good to have a few friends,
[04:13] Akemi
but I feel like you become too dependent
when you only have one best friend.
[04:18] Akemi
That's why it's better to have three in a group
in case there's a fight, so one can intervene.
[04:22] Akemi
On top of that, it's best to prepare
three groups to divide the risk.
[04:26] Morita
You're the one who's lonelier,
having calculated friendships like that.
[04:31] Morita
Besides, you can't control
the number of friends you make.
[04:37] Morita
A friendship is when you find yourself
hanging out with them, you know?
[04:40] Morita
It's not about making more or less.
[04:43] Morita
The friends you have now are your
best friends, don't you think?
[04:47] Akemi
He's saying something good, but...
[04:50] Azuma
He doesn't have a lot of friends...
[04:52] Morita
Am I only allowed to say shitty things
if I don't have a lot of friends?
[04:56] Morita
Well, I understand when they say people
with only a few friends are like that...
[05:00] Morita
I'm aware of that myself...
[05:03] Morita
But people who have too many friends
are just as bad, so let's hang them for it!
[05:07] Azuma
That's a horrible thing to say.
[05:09] Akemi
That's what's always expected
from people with only a few friends.
[05:13] Azuma
Besides, how many friends are considered a lot?
[05:20] Morita
Everyone has their own way to determine
whether someone is a friend or not, but...
[05:24] Morita
I think anyone with 30 friends
or more is usually a scam artist!
[05:28] Akemi
What a controversial statement!
[05:32] Akemi
If you loosened up the criteria
of who's a friend,
[05:35] Akemi
I'd say I may or may not
have over 30 friends...
[05:37] Morita
I thought it was a pretty good
number to criticize people
[05:41] Morita
who count mere acquaintances as friends.
[05:44] Akemi
How would you determine if someone
only has a few friends?
[05:49] Morita
Definitely anyone who has zero,
[05:51] Morita
but anyone who could confidently say
just one is probably included, too.
[05:54] Akemi
But, you know...
[05:56] Akemi
Tatsu-ni and Yamada and that person there...
[05:59] Azuma
That person...
[06:01] Akemi
Even just among our patrons, I'd say you have
a pretty good number of friends, Morita.
[06:06] Morita
Huh?
[06:08] Morita and Azuma
Are people you know at the snack bar your friends?
[06:11] Akemi
Huh?
[06:13] Akemi
Even though you've seen each other
plenty of times and spoken to each other,
[06:16] Akemi
you're not friends?
[06:17] Morita
How should I put it...
[06:19] Morita
The distance between us is just right.
[06:21] Azuma
Yeah...
[06:22] Azuma
This distance is very comfortable, so as
adults, we have a hard time making actual friends.
[06:29] Akemi
No...
[06:30] Akemi
I'd say you guys are close enough
to be considered drinking buddies.
[06:33] Morita and Azuma
There's a difference between
drinking buddies and friends.
[06:36] Akemi
You guys just synchronized,
but you're not friends?
[06:40] Azuma
Then, Akemi-chan, would you consider
your junior, Kosame-chan, a friend?
[06:44] Akemi
Oh...
[06:45] Akemi
We get along, but it's only for work,
so it might be hard to call her my friend...
[06:50] Azuma
That's right. It's surprisingly difficult
to establish a friendship...
[06:56] Azuma
For example, would you consider a classmate
[06:58] Azuma
you often played with at school,
but not after school, a friend?
[07:02] Akemi
Yeah, I would.
[07:04] Akemi
I had a friend who lived far away
in the opposite direction
[07:07] Akemi
so we weren't able to hang out.
[07:09] Morita and Azuma
Then we might be friends...
[07:11] Akemi
Are you stupid?
[07:14] Akemi
If you asked me,
you guys totally seem like friends...
[07:19] Akemi
You guys are grossing me out
with your sudden realization...
[07:23] Akemi
Hmm, then where does that put me?
[07:27] Akemi
If it's a relationship between an employee
and a customer, I suppose we're not?
[07:31] Morita
I see you as a woman.
[07:33] Akemi
We are not talking about that.
[07:35] Morita
I see you!
[07:37] Akemi
You're grossing me out by taking this too far!
[07:41] Akemi
Hmm, well, let's start out as friends, okay?
[07:46] Morita
I refuse!
[07:46] Akemi
Why?!
[07:47] Akemi
You just went from customer to friend?
That's one step forward, no?
[07:52] Morita
I already know...
[07:54] Morita
I once thought that becoming friends
was the official route to true love,
[07:57] Morita
but it turned out to be a dead end!
[07:59] Morita
I end my turn as a customer!
[08:02] Morita
I'll take my chance on my next turn!
[08:04] Akemi
You should definitely take my friendship.
SIGN (How about a night like this?)
[08:17] Kosame
Uh... mm...
[08:20] Kosame
Mama... What in the world is going on?
[08:23] Basue
If this keeps up, I won't have any
screen time, so I gotta do something.
[08:29] Akemi
Good! That's a really good idea!
[08:31] Fujiyan
No, Sensei, that's not good.
[08:34] Ureshi
No, no, Sensei, even so.
[08:36] Fujiyan
No, no, no, there's a customer here.
[08:38] Ureshi
What?
[08:38] Kosame
Akemi-san, you think that new customer
is someone who's in a teaching profession?
[08:38] Fujiyan {background}
Just because it's right in front of you,
doesn't mean you should eat all the karaage.
[08:42] Ureshi {background}
I didn't eat it.
[08:43] Fujiyan {background}
No, you ate it, Sensei.
[08:44] Kosame
He's being called Sensei and all...
[08:44] Ureshi {background}
Were you watching carefully?
[08:45] Fujiyan {background}
Yes, yes, I was watching.
[08:46] Ureshi {background}
Then how many did I eat?
[08:46] Akemi
It would be awful if there was
someone in the teaching profession
[08:48] Fujiyan {background}
That had to have been six.
You certainly eat a lot for your age.
[08:48] Akemi
with that kind of attitude.
[08:50] Akemi
They're probably from
the entertainment business.
[08:52] Kosame
She just naturally thinks anyone from
the entertainment business is awful...
[08:52] Ureshi
Hey, you can't just...
[08:54] Fujiyan
Hey, shochu mixed with water.
[08:57] Kosame
Oh, right away.
[08:59] Ureshi
That's why I'm telling you. It's good
when the taste doesn't change and...
[09:02] Fujiyan
Yeah! The sense of security I get knowing that
[09:04] Fujiyan
it's going to be the same no matter when I go.
[09:06] Fujiyan
Don't you ladies think so too?
[09:08] Kosame
Is it like... an unchanging traditional taste?
[09:12] Fujiyan
Yes! That's exactly it.
[09:15] Akemi
Hm... Even so.
[09:18] Fujiyan
What?
[09:19] Akemi
There are many times
when they say the same taste,
[09:21] Akemi
when it really has changed, don't you think?
[09:24] Akemi
Realistically, you can't reproduce
the exact same thing forever.
[09:29] Fujiyan
You think so?
[09:30] Akemi
Yeah, I think so.
[09:32] Akemi
Even customers, when they get older,
[09:34] Akemi
may get depressed from
the slightest harsh words
[09:37] Akemi
and then decide to go off on a journey,
[09:39] Akemi
and are unnecessarily particular about
how their coffee or tea is made, and—
[09:41] Fujiyan
Hey, why do you know about
the current events in our private lives?
[09:44] Ureshi
Seriously.
[09:44] Akemi
Either way, it's important to change with time.
[09:49] Fujiyan
Even so, right? There's this expectation
placed on us to not change and...
[09:54] Basue
In the end...
[09:56] Basue
It's important to keep fooling
people into thinking
[10:00] Basue
that nothing's changed
and to keep on living your life.
[10:03] Ureshi
Yes! Mama, you said it!
[10:07] Kosame
I'm surprised you knew that was Mama.
[10:10] Basue
Well...
[10:11] Basue
One way is to be true to yourself
[10:13] Basue
and stick with it while you wait
for the times to catch up.
[10:20] Akemi
Oh, that's some intense headbanging,
like your neck's about to break!
[10:23] Akemi
I think if we leave it,
it'll die down on its own.
[10:27] Ureshi
Well, we'll keep rolling with it
until it dies out!
[10:30] Fujiyan
Well, how should I put it...
Even if we get disqualified
[10:32] Fujiyan
we should just keep running till the end!
[10:34] Ureshi
Yes, you're right. We won't know until we try.
[10:36] Fujiyan
Yes, that's right.
[10:37] Ureshi
Just go with the flow.
[10:38] Kosame
I'm not so sure...
if that's how it should be as a human...
[10:42] Akemi
Kosame-chan, so close!
[10:44] Kosame
Huh?
[10:44] Akemi
It's okay. If you don't touch upon it
you won't get scolded for it either, so.
SIGN Snack Basue
[10:49] Fujiyan and Ureshi
Snack Basue.
SIGN (It must be nice being young)
[11:02] Akemi
What's wrong, Tatsu-ni?
[11:04] Akemi
You're sighing deeply, as if smoke
is coming out of a run-down robot.
[11:08] Tatsu-ni
Your example is spot on...
[11:10] Akemi
Like the smoke from an extinguished candle...
[11:13] Tatsu-ni
What?
[11:14] Akemi
Like a humidifier...
[11:16] Tatsu-ni
Your examples are getting sloppier
the more you continue.
[11:20] Tatsu-ni
Nah... I haven't had an appetite lately...
[11:23] Akemi
Do you want to eat an appetizer?
[11:25] Tatsu-ni
Oh, thanks. I think I could manage
to eat an appetize—
[11:29] Tatsu-ni
What?! An appetizer?!
[11:31] Tatsu-ni
Isn't this the first time this snack bar anime
has actually served an appetizer?!
[11:35] Yamada
In the original manga there are chapters
where nobody even brings out a glass.
[11:40] Akemi
We want you to be able to enjoy delicious
food once in a while, you know, Tatsu-ni.
[11:44] Tatsu-ni
At the very least, please serve
the appetizers on a regular basis!
[11:47] Akemi
Or rather, I think they just
didn't depict it until now.
[11:50] Akemi
So we'll just make it so that there
were appetizers from the start.
[11:52] Tatsu-ni
The butterfly effect of changing
the world is dangerous!
[11:55] Akemi
Or maybe fix it when it comes out on disc?
[11:58] Tatsu-ni
That's a trick often used in anime, but...
[12:02] Tatsu-ni
But, thanks.
[12:03] Tatsu-ni
An American hotdog, huh...
[12:05] Tatsu-ni
It's a bit heavy for an appetizer, but...
[12:08] Akemi
No, it's fried butter.
[12:10] Tatsu-ni
Are you trying to kill me?
[12:11] Basue
You skewer the butter with a stick...
[12:13] Basue
add batter to it...
[12:15] Basue
fry it in oil...
[12:16] Basue
And it's all done!
[12:18] Yamada
Cooking Mama!
[12:19] Yamada
Please don't serve that American devil's
food at this run-down snack bar!
[12:24] Tatsu-ni
If an old man like me, who gets heartburn
from the way ribs are grilled, ate that,
[12:27] Tatsu-ni
I'd be resting in peace!
[12:30] Akemi
Don't you know, delicious things
are usually bad for your health?
[12:35] Tatsu-ni
Yeah, but most things aren't
THAT bad for your health!
[12:38] Akemi
Yeah?
[12:43] Akemi
I feel like I'm one of those energy-absorbing
enemies,
[12:46] Akemi
but I just took a hit with more energy
than I can absorb!
[12:49] Tatsu-ni
It doesn't sound like you're talking
about food!
[12:52] Yamada
Makes you feel heavy, doesn't it?
[12:54] Tatsu-ni
No, it's not just the fried butter
that I can't eat. Seriously...
[12:58] Akemi
He said he doesn't have an appetite...
[13:01] Akemi
Well, all that's left is the desire to sleep.
[13:03] Yamada
Are you assuming that his
sexual desire has dried out?!
[13:08] Tatsu-ni
No, my desire for sleep is also questionable.
[13:11] Yamada and Akemi
Well, you're doomed then.
[13:13] Akemi
Come to think of it, way back when
you said you had a hard time sleeping.
[13:17] Akemi
Are you okay?
[13:19] Tatsu-ni
It may be the end for me.
[13:22] Akemi
Don't you have any regrets in this world?
[13:23] Akemi
Even if you have to force yourself,
[13:25] Akemi
you should eat something that'll help
your stamina. Like Iekei Ramen.
[13:29] Tatsu-ni
Considering this old man's condition,
it'll be my last supper, you know?
[13:32] Tatsu-ni
If you asked me whether
I'm eating, I am eating.
[13:35] Tatsu-ni
It's more like I don't have an appetite,
or more so there's nothing I want to eat...
[13:39] Akemi
Why don't you try out a new place
that you've been curious about?
[13:42] Tatsu-ni
That's what's so hard about it.
[13:44] Tatsu-ni
Even if I find a store that I like,
[13:46] Tatsu-ni
it never makes it into
the "regular meal" rotation.
[13:50] Tatsu-ni
It ends up becoming
one of my ace cards... Right?
[13:53] Yamada
You say "right?" But what do you mean
it becomes one of your ace cards?
[13:57] Tatsu-ni
Well, that's when you're
eating your regular meals
[14:00] Tatsu-ni
and you suddenly remember your ace card.
[14:01] Tatsu-ni
Like "Ahhhhh, oh man,
I forgot about that store!"
[14:04] Akemi
Play your ace card, for crying out loud!
[14:06] Akemi
You're like the Daifugo, who loses
while holding onto a 2 in his hand!
[14:09] Akemi
Do you have to be so intense
about every regular meal you eat?
[14:15] Akemi
I just settle
for granola every morning.
[14:18] Tatsu-ni
I like something sour for breakfast.
[14:22] Akemi
You're missing the point!
[14:24] Akemi
That's the answer someone gives when there's
no point in continuing a conversation.
[14:27] Akemi
You're single, so your Engel's law
percentage can be really high!
[14:30] Akemi
Indulge more! You like sashimi, don't you?
[14:33] Tatsu-ni
Instead of eating sashimi,
[14:35] Tatsu-ni
recently I like watching the youngsters
eat lots and lots of food for me,
[14:38] Tatsu-ni
since I can't eat much anymore.
[14:41] Youngster
This is so good! I can eat more!
[14:43] Akemi
The old man's teachings!
[14:45] Tatsu-ni
If only I could include these youngsters,
[14:48] Tatsu-ni
who are eating lots of food for me,
in my everyday meals...
[14:51] Yamada
I could hang with you on
the weekends, but not regularly!
[14:54] Akemi
Hmm, I bet you could eat it if it was
something really delicious, Tatsu-ni.
[15:00] Tatsu-ni
What's really delicious?
[15:02] Akemi
Fried butter...
[15:03] Tatsu-ni
Are you trying to kill me?
[15:05] Akemi
Delicious things are usually
bad for your health.
[15:09] Tatsu-ni
That's not right!
[15:10] Tatsu-ni
It's because your body craves something healthy
[15:13] Tatsu-ni
that people can really understand
how delicious something is!
[15:16] Tatsu-ni
I eat rice porridge everyday
because it tastes so delicious!
[15:19] Akemi
Your internal organs
are like that of a grandpa's.
[15:21] Tatsu-ni
No, no, rice porridge is really good!
It's good for digestion too.
[15:25] Yamada
Oh, I heard that even if it's something
that's good for digestion,
[15:28] Yamada
it's not a good idea to eat it everyday...
[15:32] Yamada
Besides, your nutrition
would be unbalanced too.
[15:34] Tatsu-ni
What?!
[15:36] Tatsu-ni
All I have left is to die then...
[15:39] Akemi
Try to pursue those
healthy habits more, will ya?
[15:41] Yamada
But it's important that everyday
meals are convenient.
[15:45] Yamada
Us single men are prone to going to the
convenience store or resorting to fast food,
[15:49] Yamada
which doesn't give us much
variety in what we eat.
[15:52] Akemi
Then why don't you cook?
[15:54] Tatsu-ni
That's the most difficult part.
I think rice porridge is all I can make.
[15:58] Akemi
We're done talking about rice porridge.
[16:01] Yamada
Even if it's just one meal we could
change in our regular meal schedule,
[16:04] Yamada
it would make a big difference.
[16:09] Akemi
There is one...
[16:10] Akemi
An affordable self-cooking meal that
can be included in your everyday meals!
[16:14] Tatsu-ni
What?!
[16:15] Akemi
It's...
[16:16] Akemi
Okonomiyaki!
[16:18] Akemi
Just mix flour, eggs, and cabbage, and fry it!
[16:21] Akemi
It's easy and delicious no matter who makes it,
[16:23] Akemi
and on top of that it's a complete meal
that lets you eat lots of cabbage!
[16:27] Cooking Mama
It's Easy Tasty Cabegin.
[16:30] Tatsu-ni
Okonomiyaki...
[16:32] Yamada
I don't usually eat it,
so it didn't cross my mind...
[16:36] Akemi
Is this... my cue to go make it?
[16:39] Tatsu-ni
It seems something crossed her mind...
[16:40] Yamada
Um... no, it's not like we...
[16:42] Akemi
I'll be right out with it, so watch some
porn videos or something and wait, okay?
[16:52] Yamada
It seems the interview is still go—
[16:54] Akemi
Sorry to keep you waiting!
[16:59] Yamada and Tatsu-ni
The presentation...
[17:01] Tatsu-ni
Akemi-chan, if it's a failed meal,
[17:03] Tatsu-ni
can you make it more obvious by adding
more purple to it or something?
[17:06] Akemi
It's not a failed meal!
[17:08] Akemi
When you make it in a frying pan, you can't
flip it like you would on a hot plate, right?
[17:12] Akemi
That's why it turned out this way.
[17:14] Yamada
What? When I make pancakes
in a frying pan that doesn't happen...
[17:19] Yamada
How about moving it
to a plate first, then flipping it?
[17:22] Tatsu-ni
Besides, what's the difference between
a pancake and a hotcake anyway?
[17:26] Akemi
Your old man questions are annoying!
[17:28] Akemi
But even so, if you add
sauce and mayonnaise... see...
[17:32] Yamada
She's trying to make it appealing
not only visually, but through sound too.
[17:36] Tatsu-ni
All right! If it has beef in it, I'll eat it...
[17:39] Tatsu-ni
If it has pork, then Yama-chan eats it!
[17:41] Yamada
Hey! That's not fair! Okonomiyaki
usually has pork in it, doesn't it?!
[17:45] Akemi
What... It doesn't have any meat, guys...
[17:48] Tatsu-ni
A poor man's meal?
[17:49] Yamada
An incomplete meal, lacking in protein!
[17:53] Akemi
I... I used eggs...
[17:56] Akemi
And I even added the red ginger that
I forgot to use on my gyudon takeout, see?
[18:01] Tatsu-ni
Akemi-chan...
[18:03] Akemi
What are those pitying eyes?
[18:07] Akemi
Come on... Just eat it...
[18:10] Akemi
Come on... Come on... Come on...
[18:13] Tatsu-ni
I think I understand the feeling
of someone who can't eat a rice ball,
[18:16] Tatsu-ni
made by a stranger's hands...
[18:18] Yamada
Oh, yeah. I see...
[18:22] Akemi
You know... It is a meal made by a girl...
[18:26] Yamada
Oh...
[18:27] Akemi
That reaction was... a bit brutal...
[18:31] Tatsu-ni
I'll break the chain of sadness
right now, so don't cry!
[18:41] Tatsu-ni
Oh? It's actually pretty good...
[18:44] Yamada
Oh, you're right.
[18:46] Tatsu-ni
If it's just mixing it and frying it,
this might work, huh...
[18:49] Yamada
And the okonomiyaki flour
seems like it'll last a long time too.
[18:52] Akemi
Right?!
[18:55] Tatsu-ni
But...
[18:58] Tatsu-ni
It's not something that can be offered
to people like this, right?
[19:01] Akemi
Hey! He's trying to make
the youngster eat most of it!
[19:10] Tatsu-ni
There's still some left...
[19:12] Yamada
Yeah, there's still some left...
[19:15] Tatsu-ni
I know I should eat everything
that was given to me, but...
[19:19] Yamada
Besides, okonomiyaki
is a full meal, after all...
[19:23] Yamada
It's hard to think of it as an appetizer.
[19:26] Tatsu-ni
Akemi-chan... I'm really sorry,
but I can't eat all—
SIGN Mountain Wasabi
Miso Ramen
[19:30] Tatsu-ni
Eat the okonomiyaki, dammit!
[19:32] Akemi
But I'm not craving okonomiyaki.
[19:35] Yamada
We're not craving okonomiyaki either.
[19:38] Akemi
I'm not going to eat it,
but you guys eat it all, okay?
[19:41] Yamada
Your level of unreasonableness
is out of this world.
[19:44] Tatsu-ni
Hmm... What to do...
[19:47] Yamada
If I could take it home...
[19:49] Akemi
You say that, but you're going to throw it
away on the way home, aren't you?
[19:52] Yamada
Is that how you see us?
[19:55] Tatsu-ni
That's right.
[19:57] Tatsu-ni
Why don't we call Morita-chan and tell him
there's a meal that Akemi-chan made.
[20:02] Akemi
What? Is it so bad that you have
to pawn it off to someone else?
[20:05] Tatsu-ni
No, that's not it. It's a home-made
meal that you made,
[20:08] Tatsu-ni
so we want to give some to Morita-chan too.
[20:12] Yamada
I'm surprised you guys know
each other's phone numbers.
[20:15] Akemi
It definitely happens at snack bars for
patrons to suddenly exchange phone numbers.
[20:21] Morita
Oh, hey. What's up, Tatsu-ni?
[20:23] Tatsu-ni
Not much. You want to come by
the bar right now, Morita-chan?
[20:26] Morita
Is something going on?
[20:28] Tatsu-ni
Akemi-chan made okonomiyaki and we were
wondering if you wanted some, Morita-chan?
[20:33] Morita
Okonomiyaki, huh...
I'm really picky with okonomiyaki.
[20:37] Morita
Just mentioning okonomiyaki,
[20:39] Morita
there's always a debate whether we're talking
about the Osaka-style or the Hiroshima-style,
[20:42] Morita
but since I'm a man from Hokkaido,
I can handle either one.
[20:45] Morita
But if we're talking about the toppings,
[20:46] Morita
I think simple is best with pork
as the standard,
SIGN Morita-chan
[20:47] Morita
so I won't have any othe—
[20:48] Akemi
All right then. Let's sing a song.
[20:50] Tatsu-ni
A-All right...
[20:52] Akemi
Let's change the atmosphere a bit.
[20:55] Akemi
Hmm... how about a duet?
[20:57] Tatsu-ni
Nice.
[20:59] Tatsu-ni
But if that's the case...
[21:00] Yamada
Huh?
[21:01] Tatsu-ni
I want to hear Yama-chan's duet.
[21:04] Yamada
He's trying to make the youngsters sing.
[21:06] Akemi
Can you sing duets, Yamada?
[21:09] Yamada
I'm pretty sure I can, but...
[21:12] Yamada
even if I could sing it,
I don't know if you can, Akemi-san.
[21:16] Akemi
Huh? Who do you think I am?
I'm Snack Basue's junior hostess.
[21:21] Akemi
Come on, what can you sing? Name it.
[21:24] Yamada
How about something... like this?
[21:27] Akemi
I could totally do that one.
[21:29] Yamada
Then... this one.
[21:31] Tatsu-ni
What did you put—
[21:31] [SONG] Caption
Reserved
SIGN Close Your Eyes and Come On Over
[21:32] Tatsu-ni
This song?!
[21:34] Yamada
Is there a problem?
[21:37] Tatsu-ni
Uh, no, I don't have any problems
with the Barbee Boys,
[21:40] Tatsu-ni
but you're pretty naughty, Yama-chan,
for singing this song at a snack bar.
[21:44] Yamada
What? Then I'll change it to a different song.
[21:47] Akemi
No, it already started.
[21:59] Akemi
I'll forget the guy, who's only kind to me
[22:05] Akemi
and spend the night only
dreaming of those intense moments.
[22:12] Yamada
Just from hesitation, I waste my time.
[22:19] Yamada
If you're looking at me
after you compare me to him then...
[22:25] Akemi
The swayful bargaining
and the shameful drunk nights.
[22:33] Yamada
You don't have to pose like that today.
[22:41] Yamada
Close your eyes and come on over.
Because my face is different from his.
[22:47] Tatsu-ni
Close your eyes...
[22:47] Tatsu-ni
Come on. It's better than the usual,
with hot sweat and heavy panting.
[22:54] Yamada and Akemi
Close your eyes and come on over.
[22:57] Yamada
My habits may be different from his.
[23:00] Tatsu-ni
Close your eyes, uh, uh...
[23:01] Yamada and Akemi
But instead of the fingers you're used to
[23:04] Yamada
I know what turns you on.
[23:11] Akemi
Oh, did you come to eat the okonomiyaki?
[23:14] Morita
Nevermind that!
[23:16] Morita
Why are Akemi-chan and Yama-chan
singing a naughty song together?!
[23:21] Yamada
Uh... Um...
[23:23] Morita
Indecent!
[23:24] Morita
I can't believe you two!
[23:26] Akemi
You're the pervert one
for thinking that much about a song!
[23:29] Morita
You're an eye booger!
[23:30] Akemi
No! You're a nose booger!
[23:32] Morita
What the heck does that even mean?
[23:34] Tatsu-ni
These kinds of songs are the real
pleasure of a snack bar.
[23:37] Akemi
Well, don't just wrap
things up nicely, Tatsu-ni.
[23:40] Akemi
Here, Morita. Have some okonomiyaki and go.
[23:43] Morita
What is this?! Oh, it's that thing!
[23:45] Akemi
What do you mean it's Object X
from another planet?
[23:47] Morita
I didn't go that far.
E11 - Under The Cherry Moon / Adult Education / Solitude
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:07] Kazama
Hey, hey, Morita-kun.
[00:12] Kazama
I'm sayin' hey, man.
[00:16] Kazama
Come on, listen to me, Morita-kun.
[00:20] Kazama
What's going on?
[00:22] Kazama
Morita-kun, hey!
[00:25] Morita
The heck? What is it?
[00:28] Kazama
I wanted to ask...
[00:31] Kazama
does your pee pee fit in the toilet paper roll?
[00:34] Morita
Seriously, what the heck?!
SIGN (As long as you love me)
[02:08] Kazama
Actually, the toilet paper roll has this
exquisite thickness to it, don't ya think?
[02:14] Morita
How should I know?! Go sleep with your wife!
[02:16] Morita
Kazama-kun, seriously,
you're so indecent. I don't like it.
[02:22] Morita
I came here to have
a more serious conversation...
[02:27] Morita
So, now let's start our regular meeting
about how to lose my virginity.
[02:31] Akemi
Your conversation is on the same level,
so just be friends with him already.
[02:35] Kazama
What, Morita-kun, are you still going on
about being a virgin and whatnot?
[02:39] Kazama
Aren't you letting it get to you
a bit too much?
[02:41] Kazama
It's not like being a virgin is
a bad thing or anything, ya know?
[02:45] Morita
Huh?
[02:48] Morita
I'll tell you one thing...
[02:50] Morita
Being a virgin...
[02:53] Morita
is evil!
[02:55] Akemi
So you're calling it bad, huh...
[02:57] Morita
Well? I don't think anyone on your side
would understand, I'm sure.
[03:04] Akemi
You know... I understand
how much you don't like Kazama,
[03:07] Akemi
but do you really need to be
such a dick about it?
[03:11] Morita
Akemi-chan, you don't get it, do you?
[03:14] Morita
I... no, us virgins are the only ones
who truly understand ourselves!
[03:22] Akemi
He's being taken over by the virgin hive mind.
[03:26] Kazama
But you know, Morita-kun...
[03:29] Kazama
You've been a virgin up until now,
[03:31] Kazama
so I don't think you're going to have
any problems going forward either.
[03:34] Morita
Kazama-kun...
[03:37] Morita
If you dare to argue
using a weak statement like that,
[03:41] Morita
don't complain when I rip it to shreds.
[03:44] Akemi
He sounds like a virgin encyclopedia.
[03:47] Morita
A virgin is a person who has never had
a sexual relationship with the opposite sex...
[03:53] Morita
and that in itself is not an evil thing.
[03:56] Morita
But, you know, if you can't have
a sexual connection,
[04:00] Morita
you're considered unable to build
a relationship with the opposite sex.
[04:05] Morita
If you can't build a relationship
with half of humanity,
[04:09] Morita
you're nothing but static in society!
[04:11] Akemi
How can you say something so horrible?!
[04:14] Akemi
You're talking about yourself, aren't you?!
[04:15] Morita
After all, the words I righteously preached
to a virgin are now biting me in the ass.
[04:21] Morita
In that sense, it's a very objective opinion...
[04:28] Morita
If there are no objections, then...
[04:29] Morita
does that mean I win?
[04:31] Akemi
How in the world are you able to declare
victory after what you just said?
[04:34] Kazama
You virgins are no good because
you guys build walls around your heart...
[04:39] Morita
You see, you're treating virgins
like we're villains!
[04:42] Morita
We build that wall because it's necessary!
[04:45] Morita
In order to protect ourselves,
we need a thick wall!
[04:51] Akemi
You know, I'm not going to discriminate
against you because you're a virgin, Morita...
[04:56] Akemi
Because your virginity is actually one of the
least horrible things about you!
[05:00] Akemi
You have other parts
that are far more raw and gross!
[05:04] Akemi
So stop being defensive by using
virginity as your shield!
[05:07] Morita
Aah! Don't take my shield...!
[05:10] Morita
Wait, no, take it! Gently...
[05:17] Akemi
Besides, putting virginity aside,
[05:20] Akemi
there are plenty of married
people who are just as bad.
[05:23] Kazama
Yup. Yup.
[05:24] Akemi
Huh?
[05:25] Kazama
Huh?
[05:27] Morita
That's the harshest reality...
[05:30] Morita
A guy goes to a restaurant with his family
and treats the staff like shit,
[05:35] Morita
but he still has a wife that loves him.
[05:37] Morita
I'm far kinder than he is.
[05:39] Morita
It hurts that I'm all alone!
[05:42] Kazama
What?
[05:43] Kazama
It doesn't necessarily mean the wife
loves her husband, you know?
[05:47] Akemi
No! That sort of talk is too soon for Morita!
[05:51] Morita
Huh?
[05:51] Kazama
Huh?
[05:52] Akemi
It's okay, Morita. Continue.
[05:55] Morita
Once you go out into the real world,
it's not enough to just work hard...
[05:58] Morita
Whether you're married or not
affects your career as well.
[06:02] Morita
Seriously, virgins are taken so lightly
in this world. We're the suckers.
[06:06] Akemi
Yeah... Well, I guess you're still
a virgin if you're only getting sucked.
[06:11] Morita
What are you talking about, Akemi-chan?
[06:13] Akemi
Hm? About getting sucked.
[06:16] Morita
OK, so the same thing.
[06:17] Akemi
So, if you don't want
to get sucked,
[06:21] Akemi
then just take a strong stance and say,
I'm not interested in getting married.
[06:25] Akemi
You know, in a stoic way.
[06:26] Morita
There's a difference between not being
able to do it and not doing it...
[06:29] Morita
Those that say they don't do it,
when really they don't know how to do it,
[06:32] Morita
are the ones who get suckered the most.
[06:34] Akemi
Yeah, I bet. Suck. Suck.
[06:37] Kazama
Hmm, but if you don't want
to be suckered,
[06:42] Kazama
then shouldn't you just be a virgin
who doesn't get suckered?
[06:46] Kazama
It doesn't matter whether
you're a virgin or not...
[06:49] Kazama
Actually, make girls think the fact
that you're a virgin is a positive!
[06:53] Kazama
Be a man with a firm foundation
and broad base, so they can't sucker you!
[06:59] Akemi
You can get sucked when you're firm,
but it won't fit if the base is too big.
[07:03] Kazama
What are you talking about, Akemi-chan?
[07:06] Akemi
About getting sucked, right?
[07:08] Kazama
You're right...
[07:10] Morita
Yeah...
[07:12] Morita
Even if I am a virgin,
if I become a man of all men,
[07:14] Morita
who doesn't get suckered...
[07:17] Morita
Lick. Lick. Lick.
[07:18] Akemi
Stop that tongue motion.
[07:20] Kazama
He's licking away.
[07:22] Kazama
Lick. Lick. Lick.
[07:24] Akemi
You quit it too!
[07:28] Morita
Isn't there something wrong with this?!
[07:30] Akemi
What's wrong is the motion
of that tongue of yours.
[07:33] Kazama
Nothing is wrong, ya?
[07:35] Kazama
All is good if you just become a virgin
who doesn't get suckered, right?
[07:39] Morita
No... It would be good if I could become
a man who doesn't get suckered, but...
[07:44] Morita
But...
[07:48] Morita
Instead of becoming that,
isn't it easier to just lose my virginity?!
[07:52] Akemi
All right. Then do your best
doing it the easier way!
SIGN (An adult's reason)
[08:03] Tatsu-ni
You know, all those movie reboots and remakes...
[08:06] Tatsu-ni
I really wish they'd tone it down.
[08:10] Yamada
Oh, so you're a purist.
[08:12] Tatsu-ni
No, I mean when there's a remake and stuff...
[08:15] Tatsu-ni
We start talking about the year
the original movie came out, you know?
[08:18] Tatsu-ni
Then I start to think,
what was I doing back then?
[08:22] Tatsu-ni
And then I start associating
the two... and I get sad...
[08:25] Yamada
It's starting to make me feel sad too.
SIGN The Year 20XX
[08:28] Tatsu-ni
As soon as I see the old date,
I feel like the past-me is coming to kill me.
[08:34] Past Tatsu-ni
Die, present-me!
[08:39] Yamada
Please reboot that sort of life.
[08:42] Tatsu-ni
Well, I'd like to win against the past me
[08:45] Tatsu-ni
with all the experience
I've gained over the years, but...
[08:52] Tatsu-ni
Body-wise, I can't win against youth!
[08:55] Yamada
Give it your all, gramps!
[08:58] Tatsu-ni
Thankfully, at least I'm winning in money.
[09:02] Present Tatsu-ni
Here... this is all I have...
[09:03] Yamada
It doesn't look like you're winning...
[09:09] Tatsu-ni
I wanted... to be a more proper adult.
[09:13] Akemi
But what is a proper adult anyway?
[09:18] Tatsu-ni
Well, to be married and have children?
[09:22] Akemi
Is that really what it means
to be a proper adult?
[09:25] Tatsu-ni
I wouldn't say it's the only thing,
but it's proper, isn't it?
[09:29] Akemi
What? Even though he's cheating on his wife?
[09:32] Tatsu-ni
Are you accusing all married
people of having affairs?!
[09:36] Akemi
What?
[09:36] Tatsu-ni
What do you mean, what?
[09:38] Akemi
In that sense, Tatsu-ni, you're not married
so there's no way for you to cheat.
[09:42] Akemi
Have confidence in yourself.
[09:44] Yamada
I feel like the way you consoled him
was like an American joke...
[09:47] Tatsu-ni
But isn't that wrong?
[09:49] Tatsu-ni
Proper adults do not cheat!
[09:52] Akemi
What? Really?
[09:55] Tatsu-ni
Well, then can I be forgiven
at least one time...?
[09:58] Yamada
Oh, so you're going to take
advantage of it instead, huh...
[10:01] Tatsu-ni
We shouldn't have to worry excessively
about how to be a proper adult, you know?
[10:07] Tatsu-ni
It seems life doesn't always go
the way you want it to go.
[10:10] Yamada
What exactly is a proper adult, anyway?
[10:15] Tatsu-ni
Well, that'd be someone
who takes care of their family and...
[10:18] Tatsu-ni
has a job they take great pride in and...
[10:21] Tatsu-ni
doesn't cause trouble for others.
Something like that?
[10:24] Akemi
Even if people appear to be proper,
I wouldn't judge a book by its cover.
[10:32] Akemi
Those types of people are usually
the ones who have a dark side...
[10:36] Akemi
Like leaving their dirty socks everywhere
or snoring really loudly...
[10:40] Yamada
That dark side is certainly
from the spouse's point of view.
[10:43] Tatsu-ni
But wouldn't you think proper adults
would be proper in those areas too?
[10:49] Akemi
What? Really?
[10:51] Akemi
Don't you think the only living thing
without flaws like that would be a chimera?
SIGN Status
SIGN Status
Everything:
SIGN Status
Everything:
Good
[10:57] Tatsu-ni
Forget normal, are you saying that
it's not even human?
[11:00] Akemi
Did you even want to be
a proper human to begin with?
[11:05] Tatsu-ni and Yamada
What?
[11:06] Akemi
More so, aren't you thinking
you want to be anything but proper?!
[11:11] Yamada
Akemi-san...
[11:13] Tatsu-ni
If you say that...
[11:15] Akemi
What?! If you had to choose, which is it?
Do you or do you not want to be proper?!
[11:21] Tatsu-ni
If you asked me whether I wanted to be
proper or not then I would say...
[11:26] Tatsu-ni
I don't want to be proper!
[11:29] Akemi
Yay!
[11:32] Yamada
Wha...
[11:33] Tatsu-ni
I wanna go eat ramen
in the middle of the night!
[11:37] Akemi
Yay!
[11:39] Tatsu-ni
I wanna use up all my savings!
[11:43] Akemi
Yay!
[11:45] Tatsu-ni
I wanna put all my savings towards
a guide dog fundraiser or something!
[11:51] Akemi
Ya— What?!
[11:53] Yamada
Umm... But, you'd be in a lot of trouble
if you did that, so people control themselves.
[11:59] Yamada
Doesn't that mean you're being proper,
since you aren't doing that?
[12:03] Tatsu-ni
Yeah, come to think of it...
[12:05] Tatsu-ni
I want to leave my current job
and go open a children's cafeteria,
[12:10] Tatsu-ni
but I can't just go and do that...
[12:12] Akemi
If you want to, just go do it!
[12:14] Tatsu-ni
If I do what I want to do and
don't consider how it'll affect my life,
[12:18] Tatsu-ni
I can't say I'm being a proper adult, you know?
[12:21] Yamada
If you consider what you're trying to do,
that's more than enough.
[12:24] Akemi
Tatsu-ni, all this about fundraising
and a children's cafeteria,
[12:29] Akemi
is that really what you want to do?
[12:31] Tatsu-ni
I have pretty destructive desires...
[12:35] Akemi
You say destructive, but isn't it more like
the self-sacrifice of a saint?
[12:39] Akemi
It may be different from how you see it,
[12:43] Akemi
but to my standards, Tatsu-ni,
you're more than a proper adult.
[12:47] Tatsu-ni
I see... I was being a proper
adult after all, huh...
[12:53] Akemi
But now that you've said it,
something seems off...
[12:56] Tatsu-ni
Huh?
[12:57] Akemi
Now that you're relieved
about getting the answer,
[12:59] Akemi
what usually comes after
self-doubt is arrogance.
[13:03] Akemi
Because never in human history has anyone
said they're proper and actually been proper!
[13:10] Tatsu-ni
Then which one am I?
[13:12] Akemi
Hmm, if you carefully maintain
your current mindset, then...
[13:19] Tatsu-ni
It's hard to keep being a proper adult...
[13:25] Tatsu-ni
But what it comes down to is that
everyone has boundless ideals of
[13:29] Tatsu-ni
how to be a proper adult.
[13:31] Tatsu-ni
Maybe it's almost like someone
saying "I want to be rich," you know?
[13:35] Akemi
In other words, in the end...
[13:39] Akemi and Tatsu-ni
I want to be rich!
[13:44] Yamada
So it really comes down to that, huh...
SIGN Snack Basue
[13:48] Akemi
Snack Basue.
SIGN (I don't have a lot of friends)
[13:58] Akemi
With role-playing games,
[14:00] Akemi
when I stop playing for a while
and then start playing it again,
[14:05] Akemi
I never know where I left off.
[14:07] Basue
I know! Like, why was I visiting this town
or why is this guy in my party or...
[14:15] Akemi
Yep...
[14:19] Akemi
That's... how I feel, right now.
[14:21] Last Boss
Oh, you see, once I spoke to him,
he was a surprisingly nice and friendly guy.
[14:27] Hero
We get along...
[14:28] Akemi
No, no, no, is it really okay
for the Hero and the Last Boss,
[14:30] Akemi
who continuously fought against
each other in the other world,
[14:32] Akemi
to be drinking nicely together
at a run-down snack bar like this?
[14:36] Akemi
And you, Last Boss! Don't you feel
remorse for your fallen comrades?!
[14:43] Basue
Besides, weren't you defeated by the Hero?
[14:48] Last Boss
What? What do you mean, defeated?
[14:52] Hero
Oh, that was the other one...
[14:55] Hero
I'm on New Game Plus right now.
[14:59] Akemi
Is this an ending you can only get
when you do a second playthrough?!
[15:03] Akemi
Are you guys even on good enough
terms to drink and reconcile?
[15:08] Last Boss
Well... How should I put it...
We were both very edgy in the past...
[15:12] Akemi
People who say that are usually
the ones who haven't matured!
[15:16] Akemi
I feel like... When you guys
come to your senses tomorrow,
[15:20] Akemi
you'll be regretting all this...
[15:23] Basue
It's going to be just as awkward as
[15:25] Basue
having a one-night stand with
someone you didn't intend to get with.
[15:29] Akemi
Yes, that! I feel like this is
going to be that type of night!
[15:33] Hero
You mean,
[15:34] Hero
like we both used to hate on
each other all the time.
[15:38] Hero
Like that kind of thing?
[15:39] Akemi
Only if that's how it should have been!
[15:43] Last Boss
But seriously, from whether
we put lemon on our karaage
[15:48] Last Boss
to which idol group member we like
the best, we have so much in common.
[15:52] Akemi
Huh... You're an idol otaku,
even though you're the Last Boss?
[15:55] Last Boss
No, I normally can't say that
because I am the Last Boss.
[16:00] Last Boss
But in a way, that's why I can
talk about it with the Hero.
[16:03] Hero
We're both in a good relationship.
[16:06] Last Boss
Yeah.
[16:07] Akemi
Is this really okay?
[16:08] Last Boss
The Hero and the Last Boss...
[16:11] Last Boss
Even though we're enemies, we're accepting
each other's differences. Isn't that hot?
[16:15] Basue
No, it's lukewarm!
[16:17] Akemi
Actually, aren't you both the type who have
a hard time getting along with others?
[16:22] Akemi
When people like that
suddenly start getting along,
[16:25] Akemi
they tend to split up after
the slightest conflict, you know...
[16:28] Last Boss
But, seriously, we totally get along...
[16:32] Hero
You said it.
[16:35] Akemi
I've seen all types of people
working here, so I know guys...
[16:41] Akemi
The peace that the Hero regained
would have been for nothing in the next game.
[16:46] Last Boss
What? Does that kind of development
even exist for you to mention it?
[16:50] Hero
You said it.
[16:53] Akemi
Now that you mention it, maybe not!
[16:56] Akemi
Maybe only the sequels that ruined
the previous games are the ones
[16:59] Akemi
that left a strong impression on me...
[17:01] Basue
Well, that just shows how much
it pisses off the playerbase.
[17:05] Last Boss
We don't need to worry about such things.
[17:09] Last Boss
With this many common interests,
there's no way we'd fight.
[17:13] Hero
You said it.
[17:15] Akemi
But, isn't having too much in common
going to be troublesome?
[17:20] Akemi
For example, if your taste
in clothing is the same,
[17:22] Akemi
then you guys might end up
wearing the same thing.
[17:25] Last Boss
We don't care if we wear the same clothes.
[17:27] Akemi
You guys are like high school girls.
[17:29] Last Boss
Besides, the Hero seems like
[17:33] Last Boss
he tends to make his party
wear all the same clothes.
[17:38] Hero
You said it.
[17:39] Akemi
Hmm, then how about when you go on a group date
[17:43] Akemi
and you guys fight over the same type
of girl, wouldn't that be a problem?
[17:47] Last Boss
I'll give you half of the world.
[17:50] Hero
All right.
[17:50] Girl
Seriously, that's hilarious!
[17:53] Last Boss
It doesn't bother us.
[17:55] Hero
You said it.
[17:56] Akemi
Seriously, that's gross!
[17:59] Akemi
Common interests... huh...
[18:02] Akemi
When I think about it, all my close friends
don't really have the same interests as me...
[18:08] Akemi
I think when your interests
are slightly different,
[18:11] Akemi
the relationship lasts longer in a way.
[18:13] Akemi
Even when you're critiquing a movie,
[18:15] Akemi
the conversation doesn't last long
if you both have the same opinion.
[18:18] Akemi
When you have slight differences,
[18:19] Akemi
you strike up a conversation
and discover new perspectives, you know?
[18:25] Akemi
I feel like a good relationship with a friend
[18:27] Akemi
is not whether we have
lots of things in common,
[18:30] Akemi
but whether there are fewer things
I can't forgive the other person for...
[18:33] Akemi
No matter how pleasant the person is,
[18:35] Akemi
if you see them pocketing a ton of
sugar packets from the restaurant,
[18:38] Akemi
wouldn't you be so embarrassed that you'd
want to keep your distance from that person?
[18:41] Sugar stick man
Woo hoo! Thanks a bunch!
[18:43] Akemi
Wow, he's the worst.
SIGN You may be charged with theft.
[18:46] Akemi
Right?
[18:47] Last Boss
We'd each take half of the sugar packets.
[18:50] Hero
You said it.
[18:52] Akemi
These two never should have met!
[18:56] Akemi
It's so embarrassing!
[18:58] Akemi
Don't you guys hate people
who are just like you?
[19:00] Last Boss
Not at all.
[19:02] Hero
You said it.
[19:04] Last Boss
But we were the same entity at one point in time.
[19:07] Last Boss
In order to bring harmony to this world,
there has to be chaos and order.
[19:13] Last Boss
It's as if one soul has been
divided between us.
[19:16] Last Boss
That's the kind of strange sensation we feel.
[19:19] Akemi
That plot is a bit too good
for sugar-pocketing bastards.
[19:23] Basue
By the way, why did you become the Last Boss?
[19:27] Last Boss
To put it bluntly,
[19:29] Last Boss
I think it's because I lost faith
in humanity and wanted to destroy it.
[19:32] Basue
It wasn't something to say so bluntly.
[19:36] Last Boss
If I were to give you
an example from your world,
[19:38] Last Boss
it would be like the person who despises
people who post crap on social media
[19:42] Last Boss
realizing that they're the one looking
for naughty selfies of those people.
[19:49] Last Boss
It's that type of despair that makes you
want to just destroy everything.
[19:53] Akemi
Please realize that you're giving us
despair by telling us this story.
[19:57] Last Boss
Come to think of it now,
it was a mistake made from loneliness...
[20:01] Akemi
Yeah, were you able to find
lots of naughty selfies?
[20:05] Last Boss
However, now that I have found
a true friend I get along with,
[20:10] Last Boss
I no longer have a reason to destroy the world.
[20:15] Hero
You said it.
[20:17] Akemi
Oh, I see... so as a result, I guess
the Hero really did save the world.
[20:23] Hero
You said it.
[20:28] Akemi
Hero... Could it be that
[20:32] Akemi
you're just agreeing
with everything that he says?
[20:38] Hero
Yep, you said it.
[20:42] Last Boss
A-Are you...
[20:45] Last Boss
seriously saying that?!
[20:48] Hero
Seriously.
SIGN Seriously
[20:49] Last Boss
He just answered me with a stamp
when I'm being serious!
[20:56] Last Boss
After all that, I am alone.
[20:58] Last Boss
It seems there was no way of changing
our fate to fight one another!
[21:07] Last Boss
Second transformation!
[21:10] Hero
Buff with multiple attack power
enhancement spells!
[21:15] Akemi
If you're going to fight,
go do it in your world!
[21:28] Akemi
Come on! Sing! Sing and make up!
[21:32] Last Boss
Squa... Eni...?
[21:35] Akemi
I didn't say anything about that!
[21:37] Akemi
Come on, Mama, you tell them—
[21:44] Akemi
What a convenient time to glitch.
[21:50] Akemi
Hey!
[21:50] [SONG] Caption
Reserve
SIGN Believe In Your Dream
[21:54] Akemi
Uh... I really don't think that's a good idea.
[21:59] Last Boss
You don't have a problem with it, right?
[22:02] Hero
You said it.
[22:03] Akemi
No, it's not okay...
[22:05] Hero
Then let's sing together.
[22:08] Last Boss
The Hero, the Last Boss,
and even you, young lady!
[22:11] Akemi
Stop trying to get us sued!
[22:14] Akemi
Also, please at least try to make it
seem like it's from our show!
[22:18] Hero
We did it! We finally defeated
the ultimate last boss, but our—
SIGN COMMAND
SIGN T A L K
SIGN S P E L L
SIGN STATUS
SIGN ITEM
SIGN EQUIP
SIGN SEARCH
SIGN Do you want to watch the
next episode of Snack Basue?
[22:23] Akemi
You got the theme right, but stop inserting
a preview that I've heard somewhere else!
SIGN Don't watch
SIGN Watch
SIGN Definitely watch
[22:26] Hero
How many towns are we going to pass
[22:32] Hero
on this road to tomorrow?
[22:41] Last Boss
Nowhere to go. It's as if I'm lost.
[22:47] Last Boss
Standing in the crowd... Right now, you're...
[22:56] Hero
In the past I was too afraid, even to love.
[23:04] Last Boss
I'm looking for my lost tears.
[23:12] Hero
Live on believing in your dream.
[23:18] Hero
That's what you would have screamed out.
[23:27] Hero
Run to tomorrow
[23:30] Hero
while holding your broken wings
[23:36] Hero and Last Boss
close to your heart!
[23:42] Last Boss
Just as I thought,
I feel like it didn't go well!
[23:45] Akemi
Yeah, I bet! I really bet it didn't!
[23:48] Hero
You said it.
E12 - The Great Pretender / Let Me Into Your World / Trouble Man
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:04] Morita
Welcome home, master.
[00:07] Akemi
If I just listen to the phrase,
it's a maid cafe,
[00:10] Akemi
but when I look,
it feels like a monster is saying it.
[00:13] Morita
Oh, Akemi-chan.
[00:17] Morita
Uh... um.
[00:19] Akemi
This is my friend, Misawa.
[00:23] Akemi
She came to see me.
[00:25] Misawa
Nice to meet ya!
[00:28] Morita
Hi...
[00:28] Akemi
Your voice is so quiet. What happened
to your excitement from earlier?
[00:32] Morita
Um...
[00:33] Akemi
Misawa, this is our regular—
[00:36] Misawa
Oh! I can tell from the glasses!
[00:38] Misawa
You're Yamada-san, right?
[00:40] Morita
N-No... It's Morita...
[00:41] Misawa
Come, come, Yamada-san!
[00:43] Misawa
Come sit over here!
[00:45] Morita
Okay...
[00:52] Akemi
I was just telling her what kind
of patrons come here.
[00:57] Morita
Oh, that's why she knows.
[01:00] Morita
Then... I'm...
[01:04] Morita
Yamada.
[01:05] Akemi
What?
[01:14] [SONG] Sign
Snack Basue
[01:18] [SONG] Sign
Snack Basue
SIGN (I'll become who I want to be)
[02:40] Misawa
Yamada-san, nice to meet you.
[02:42] Yamada
Yes, I'm Yamada.
[02:44] Yamada
Very nice to meet you.
[02:48] Morita
She's making a face like
"Morita, why are you lying?"
[02:52] Morita
But you know, it's quite simple.
[02:54] Morita
If I put it simply,
there's the serious Yama-chan,
[02:57] Morita
and then there's me, the loser virgin.
[02:59] Morita
I want her to think I'm Yama-chan
instead of me!
[03:03] Morita
I'll become the person I want to be!
[03:06] Misawa
Yamada-san.
[03:07] Morita
Yes, I'm Yamada.
[03:08] Misawa
Can you handle your booze well, Yamada-san?
[03:11] Morita
Yes, I think Yamada handles his booze well.
[03:14] Akemi
Hm? If he keeps this up...
[03:17] Akemi
This seems fun, so I'm going to play along!
[03:19] Akemi
Okay, Yamada. I'll give you your usual,
one shochu mixed with whiskey!
[03:23] Morita
What?
[03:24] Morita
Akemi-chan, shochu mixed with whiskey is...
[03:27] Misawa
I just heard from Akemi.
[03:30] Misawa
Yamada-san, you're good at swallowing
iron balls and spitting them, aren't you?
[03:34] Morita
Yes, Yamada is very good at it.
[03:38] Morita
What? Yama-chan is good at
swallowing iron balls?
[03:42] Misawa
Wow! I want to see that!
[03:45] Morita
Even if he's good at it, is it a skill you
normally request when you first meet someone?
[03:51] Morita
Especially a skill like swallowing iron balls?
[03:53] Akemi
Quit it, Misawa!
[03:54] Akemi
I didn't say anything about Yamada
being good at swallowing iron balls.
[03:59] Misawa
Huh? You didn't?
[04:01] Akemi
I said, he's so serious that if he practiced
[04:04] Akemi
he'd probably be able to do it in three days.
[04:07] Morita
What kind of conversation is that?!
[04:08] Misawa
But Yamada-san just said he was good at it.
[04:12] Morita
I-I'm sorry, but...
[04:15] Morita
To begin with, I'm not Yamada.
[04:19] Misawa
Huh?
[04:20] Morita
I'm very sorry.
[04:22] Misawa
What? Then... are you the funny
old man, Tatsu-ni, she spoke of?!
[04:30] Morita
...Yes. I am.
[04:31] Akemi
Why are you lying?!
[04:33] Misawa
What, is that a lie?
[04:35] Morita
Whether it's a lie is... up to you.
[04:39] Akemi
Those are the words a liar would love!
[04:41] Misawa
Oh, uhh... Then just... who are you?
[04:46] Morita
I'm Yamada.
[04:47] Akemi
Why did you think you could
even go back to that one?
[04:49] Akemi
If you're going to insist you're Yamada,
then show us by swallowing an iron ball!
[04:54] Morita
That, I cannot do.
[04:55] Morita
Because I'm Yamada, and I'm not Yamada.
[04:59] Akemi
Huh?!
[05:00] Morita
I'm Gomura, another entity
who lives inside Yamada's body.
[05:06] Akemi
He made up another personality
to escape reality!
[05:10] Morita
Um...
[05:12] Morita
Can I still be forgiven if I apologize now?
[05:16] Akemi
You finally came to your senses
and realized that
[05:19] Akemi
there's nothing beyond reality.
[05:21] Morita
But I think you're the one to blame
in the first place, Akemi-chan.
[05:24] Morita
You're the one who's been gossiping about us!
[05:27] Akemi
It's not as bad as gossiping!
[05:31] Akemi
I only said good things about you guys!
[05:36] Morita
Really?
[05:37] Akemi
I've spoken so highly of you guys that
[05:41] Akemi
Misawa's starting to fall for Yamada
just by hearing about him.
[05:45] Morita
You're far better at lying than I am, I see.
[05:49] Morita
Then I'm fine with being Yamada!
[05:52] Akemi
You're Gomura, aren't you?
[05:53] Morita
Aw man, if you only spoke highly of us
then I didn't have to fool her.
[06:00] Akemi
Even if I didn't say it, you spoke more
than enough to expose your ugly side.
[06:05] Morita
Misawa-san, I think you can figure out
which patron I am by now, can't you?
[06:13] Misawa
Oh, I know who you are!
[06:14] Morita
Yep.
[06:15] Misawa
Director Makoto Shinkai!
[06:17] Morita
I'm pretty sure he's never been here before!
[06:19] Morita
It's a little odd for me to say this,
but you're pretty weird!
[06:23] Misawa
What?
[06:25] Morita
But I don't feel as nervous around weirdos,
so you're helping me out!
[06:29] Misawa
You're welcome?
[06:32] Morita
Well, I don't know what Akemi-chan
said about me, but...
[06:37] Morita
I'm Morita!
[06:38] Morita
Nice to meet you again.
[06:43] Misawa
Morita...
[06:47] Misawa
Who's that?!
[06:48] Morita
Huh?
[06:48] Morita
W-Wait, wait, wait a minute!
[06:50] Morita
What do you mean who?!
[06:52] Morita
My presence is so big that
if I were on a wanted poster,
[06:54] Morita
I'd be the type to get captured right away!
[06:56] Morita
Right?!
[07:03] Morita
O-Oh...
[07:06] Morita
If she didn't speak badly about anyone
and only spoke highly of them,
[07:11] Morita
there wasn't anything for her
to talk about for me...
[07:17] Morita
Is what I'm guessing?
SIGN (It's hard to understand)
[07:27] Akemi
Hey, Yamada!
[07:28] Akemi
Don't ya have any interesting stories to tell?
[07:31] Yamada
Interesting stories, huh...
[07:34] Basue
Oh, why don't I tell you about
the macaroons I bought recently?
[07:39] Akemi
Don't want it.
[07:41] Akemi
For example, did you buy anything recently?
[07:44] Yamada
Oh, I did. I did buy something.
[07:46] Akemi
What? What?
[07:48] Yamada
A sous vide cooker.
[07:50] Tatsu-ni
Huh? A sous vide cooker?
[07:52] Yamada
Oh, you don't know?
[07:53] Yamada
It cooks slowly using low heat.
[07:56] Tatsu-ni
Oh, that...
[07:58] Tatsu-ni
I bought one too!
[08:00] Yamada
Oh, really?
[08:02] Tatsu-ni
Isn't it nice? The sous vide cooker.
[08:04] Yamada
Yes, it is. The sous vide cooker.
[08:07] Tatsu-ni
Oh, Morita-chan!
[08:09] Morita
Did you mention a sous vide cooker?
[08:11] Tatsu-ni
Yeah.
[08:13] Morita
I bought one too!
[08:15] Yamada and Tatsu-ni
The synchronicity!
[08:18] Akemi
Hey... Why is everyone
buying a sous vide cooker?
[08:22] Akemi
You guys don't look like
the types to cook at home...
[08:26] Akemi
Besides, Morita, you live with your parents.
[08:29] Morita
Well...
[08:31] Akemi
What? Is the reason why
all the men are buying it...
[08:34] Akemi
Is that what you intended on doing?!
[08:37] Morita
I live at home!
[08:39] Akemi
What, am I wrong?
[08:41] Tatsu-ni
Well, you're not close and yet not far from it.
[08:45] Morita
What?
[08:45] Tatsu-ni
What?
[08:46] Tatsu-ni
What?!
[08:47] Yamada
What?!
[08:48] Akemi
Their unity vanished in an instant.
[08:52] Tatsu-ni
No, what I meant was...
[08:55] Tatsu-ni
When you say cooking at home,
[08:58] Tatsu-ni
people usually think it's to
save money, or to eat healthier.
[09:02] Tatsu-ni
But the type of cooking we do with
the sous vide cooker is sort of closer
[09:05] Tatsu-ni
to playing with educational
confectionery snacks?
[09:08] Witch
The more you sleep, the more you...
[09:11] Brat
feel rested!
[09:13] Akemi
Educational?!
[09:15] Tatsu-ni
Hm, how should I put it?
[09:18] Morita
You don't make it because you're hungry, but...
[09:21] Yamada
We want to... try out the gadget...
[09:23] Basue
You guys understand each other to the point
of mistaking you for fusion bot pilots!
[09:27] Yamada; Tatsu-ni; and Morita
A fusion bot isn't as simple as you think!
[09:30] Basue
It's complete!
[09:33] Yamada
In general, boys love tools that have
a sense of technology behind them.
[09:39] Akemi
Like electric cars?
[09:41] Yamada
When it comes to that,
I take it more seriously,
[09:43] Yamada
like figuring out what the range is,
any major repair issues, and so on, but...
[09:47] Basue
Seriously, indeed.
[09:50] Yamada
If I were to give an example,
something like power tools.
[09:52] Morita
Oh yeah.
[09:54] Tatsu-ni
It makes you want to build a shelf
without thinking about where to put it.
[09:57] Akemi
You sound like you're going to
make a shelf for that shelf.
[10:00] Morita
Pressure washers and
steam cleaners are nice too.
[10:04] Yamada and Tatsu-ni
Nice!
[10:06] Tatsu-ni
I feel like I'd purposely
dirty my clothes to wash them!
[10:09] Yamada
Yeah, just like on the home shopping network.
[10:12] Seller
When that happens,
this bad boy will do the trick!
[10:14] Tatsu-ni and Morita
Oh, that's just like how they do it!
[10:16] Tatsu-ni
Oh, and how about smart plugs?
[10:19] Yamada
Oh, yeah! I understand.
[10:21] Morita
It's something that you just have to buy
when you see it on those shows.
[10:24] Tatsu-ni
Oh, yeah. I get you.
[10:25] Yamada
Yeah.
[10:26] Morita
Yep, yep.
[10:28] Akemi
Are you guys...
[10:31] Akemi
getting hard thinking of this stuff?
[10:32] Yamada
You have no understanding of a man's heart...
[10:35] Akemi
First of all, you guys are talking about
how technology is a man's thing,
[10:41] Akemi
but I like the latest home
appliances too, you know!
[10:47] Akemi
Huh... What?
[10:49] Yamada
Your perspective is a little different to
how a man sees it, Akemi-san.
[10:53] Yamada
How should I put it? Yours is more like
you want it because of its convenience.
[10:55] Akemi
And what's wrong with that?!
You're creeping me out.
[10:59] Akemi
I never would have thought Yamada
would tell me off like that.
[11:03] Akemi
You shouldn't hang around these guys.
[11:05] Akemi
They're having a bad influence on you!
[11:06] Basue
Akemi-chan, those people are
also our patrons, you know.
[11:11] Akemi
Then it means we have bad customers.
[11:12] Tatsu-ni
I'd say the store is responsible
for having bad customers.
[11:15] Basue
Thank you for the harsh feedback!
[11:19] Morita
But you know,
[11:20] Morita
even when buying a frying pan,
[11:22] Morita
women honestly consider
whether it's easy to clean it or not.
[11:26] Mob woman
This is so useful!
[11:28] Morita
Whereas men tend to care about
the coating process that was used to create it.
[11:32] Mob man
This coating is the lost
orichalcon processing technology!
[11:36] Akemi
True, I could see how men can get overly
into the special methods being used.
[11:41] Akemi
Hm? But men like outdoor equipment
and primitive things too, don't they?
[11:47] Camper
I cooked it well!
[11:50] Akemi
And fire pits...
[11:51] Akemi
Isn't that contradicting
what you said about liking technology?
[11:57] Yamada
High-tech things aren't the only technology.
[12:00] Yamada
Low-tech things have their own charm as well.
[12:03] Akemi
It's like an entertainer,
who claimed to like mature women,
[12:06] Akemi
marrying a younger woman instead.
[12:08] Tatsu-ni
Men... have this sad side to them that
helplessly seeks things that are efficient.
[12:13] Tatsu-ni
However, it's necessary
to enjoy the wasted time in life.
[12:17] Tatsu-ni
I think that's why we enjoy tools that
allow us to efficiently waste time.
[12:22] Tatsu-ni
It's like when you check your health
using a smart watch,
[12:26] Tatsu-ni
even though you don't particularly exercise.
SIGN Death
SIGN Death
[12:29] Man
Oh man, my health is looking pretty bad.
[12:32] Akemi
Are you sure you guys just
don't know how to use it?
[12:34] Akemi
I don't get it.
[12:36] Basue
Oh, I think it's like... why an old man
would start beating soba noodles
[12:40] Basue
to waste time in an efficient way.
[12:47] Tatsu-ni
That's good! I want to beat soba noodles!
[12:49] Akemi
More like, you've never
beaten soba noodles before, Tatsu-ni?
[12:52] Basue
By the way, what is everyone making
using the sous vide cooker?
[12:57] Yamada
Oh, let's see. I mainly make
roast beef and things like that.
[13:01] Akemi
What? Isn't it more delicious
when you buy it instead?
[13:03] Yamada; Tatsu-ni; and Morita
That's not what we're talking about!
[13:05] Akemi
Are you using all these tools just because
you love roast beef that much?
[13:10] Yamada; Tatsu-ni; and Morita
We're telling you, that's not it!
[13:13] Yamada; Tatsu-ni; and Morita
What we like is the cooking ware
to make the roast beef!
[13:17] Akemi
Oh, I just don't get it!
[13:18] Akemi
I feel like a mother who's dealing
with her adolescent sons.
[13:22] Basue
But I always imagined that using
a sous vide cooker was pretty hard.
[13:27] Akemi
Yeah, aren't you afraid of
getting food poisoning?
[13:30] Yamada
Yes. That's why I take great caution.
[13:34] Yamada
Such as making sure the temperature
is correct to kill the bacteria.
[13:37] Basue
Must be tough.
[13:39] Yamada
Yeah, it is.
[13:41] Yamada
To be frank, it heats up so quickly
that it kills both the bacteria
[13:44] Yamada
along with the benefits
of cooking at a low heat.
[13:46] Basue
Roast beef is...
[13:48] Yamada
Like I said, you have to watch out
for the heating time,
[13:50] Yamada
and how to store it after cooking it...
[13:52] Yamada
It's quite the hassle.
[13:57] Yamada
So... ultimately...
[14:02] All
You quickly end up not using it, I bet.
SIGN Snack Basue
[14:07] Basue
Snack Basue.
SIGN (Who do you think you are?)
[14:16] Kazama
Do I look like a guy...
[14:19] Kazama
...with a massive schlong?
[14:24] Yamada
Huh?
[14:25] Kazama
Oh, I'm not literally talking about its size.
[14:28] Yamada
Seriously, what?!
[14:29] Kazama
I'm not talking about the actual goods,
more like my presence.
[14:34] Kazama
That's what I wanted to ask.
[14:36] Yamada
I'm saying, why are you asking me that?
[14:39] Yamada
Since you're asking me, I'm sure
you're feeling confident about it, but...
[14:42] Yamada
With an attitude like that,
it'd be sad if it were small anyhow...
[14:46] Yamada
Wait... Is he bluffing?
[14:48] Yamada
Is it a bluff to make it seem bigger?
[14:51] Akemi
What high-level psychological warfare.
[14:53] Yamada
Well, I'm sure it's huge.
[14:59] Kazama
Then, what do you think
about the actual size of it?
[15:01] Yamada
What?! How is that any different
from the earlier question?!
[15:05] Kazama
It's completely different, man!
[15:08] Kazama
It's as different as the review of
a big hit movie when it's first released,
[15:12] Kazama
and a review two weeks later!
[15:14] Akemi
I hate how he's even able to come up
with these types of examples so easily.
[15:20] Kazama
Come on... Come over here and see for yourself.
[15:23] Yamada
Are your morals glitching?
[15:25] Kazama
I'm just kidding!
[15:28] Kazama
If I did all that and it ended up that I do have
a small cock, we'd all have a good laugh.
[15:31] Yamada
I'd be more afraid than
laughing off the situation.
[15:35] Kazama
But you know, if someone doesn't check it,
[15:38] Kazama
there's no way of telling
if my cock is big or not.
[15:41] Akemi
Can you please keep it covered?
[15:43] Kazama
How should I put it?
[15:45] Kazama
Until it's checked,
there's an equal possibility
[15:48] Kazama
that it could be a big cock
or a small cock, you know?
[15:53] Kazama
If I were to put it in a clever way,
it'd be like Schrodinger's cock, ya?
SIGN Quantum Fluctuation
[15:58] Akemi
Are you so stupid that you don't know
what the word "clever" means?
[16:02] Kazama
Between absolute evaluation
and relative evaluation,
[16:05] Kazama
I'm sayin' the latter is more important.
[16:08] Kazama
If no one acknowledges that I have
a big cock, then I can't either.
[16:14] Yamada
That sounds like a big statement.
[16:17] Akemi
If you wanted to see cocks, then you could see
as many as you want at a bathhouse.
[16:20] Akemi
Can't you kind of just tell
how big yours is in comparison?
[16:24] Kazama
Even if I go to a bathhouse,
[16:26] Kazama
I'd be like, "There's grown men
with their cocks hanging out!"
[16:28] Kazama
I'd be so nervous, I wouldn't
be able to focus on that.
[16:33] Akemi
Your cock seems small.
[16:35] Akemi
Besides that, only men seem to be
concerned with the size of their cocks.
[16:40] Kazama
Whaa?!
[16:41] Yamada
That is the reaction of a person
whose pride was shattered
[16:44] Yamada
after being told their prized
cock was worthless.
[16:47] Kazama
You say that, but...
[16:50] Kazama
you like big cocks too, don't you, Akemi-chan?
[16:52] Akemi
You certainly have a big cock to be
sexually harassing me in this manner.
[16:57] Akemi
Hmm...
[17:01] Akemi
How much can I talk about it on a TV anime?
[17:04] Yamada
After what we've seen in this show,
[17:06] Yamada
if they cared about that they never
should've animated the thing.
[17:09] Akemi
Anyway!
[17:11] Akemi
If I were to talk from a woman's standpoint,
bigger doesn't necessarily mean better!
[17:16] Kazama
Then why do we men feel so
concerned with the size of our cocks?
[17:21] Yamada
You say it like it's all of us, but...
[17:25] Yamada
No... I guess, technically he's
not wrong when it comes to this.
[17:30] Kazama
Are you really sure women
aren't concerned about how big a cock is?
[17:33] Kazama
Don't the big cocks
always win in ero-manga?!
[17:36] Ero-manga female
Oh! He wins! He's bigger
than my boyfriend! Amazing!
[17:40] Yamada
There's no credibility in that source!
[17:42] Akemi
You've had your brain destroyed!
[17:44] Kazama
No, I'm not convinced!
[17:46] Kazama
Between a big rhinoceros beetle
and a small one,
[17:49] Kazama
no matter how you look at it, don't ya
think the bigger one has more charm?
[17:54] Akemi
You really don't understand
a woman's heart, do you?
[17:58] Akemi
Besides, girls...
[18:01] Akemi
like stag beetles more.
[18:03] Yamada
What does that even mean?!
[18:05] Akemi
Clearly, a stag beetle is more lethal, right?
[18:09] Akemi
That's why girls like stag beetles
more than rhinoceros beetles.
[18:10] Yamada
Are you sure that isn't just your opinion
and not girls in general?!
[18:14] Kazama
I see...
[18:15] Kazama
Girls aren't particularly interested
in the cock size, huh...
[18:20] Yamada
Were you convinced by that last one?
[18:22] Akemi
I didn't say we weren't interested in it!
[18:25] Akemi
What I'm saying is that we don't have
any particular preference
[18:27] Akemi
or attachment to how big a cock should be!
[18:29] Akemi
We're interested in cocks
more than anyone else!
[18:31] Yamada
Why are you getting pissed off?
[18:33] Akemi
Men are always taking pride
in how big it is, but that's not it!
[18:36] Akemi
There are more important things than that!
[18:38] Kazama
Well, yeah.
[18:40] Kazama
There are virgins out there
who have big, useless cocks.
[18:44] Akemi
That statement is going to antagonize viewers!
[18:46] Yamada
That's also going to antagonize viewers!
[18:49] Yamada
S-So what's important is
not how big the cock is,
[18:52] Yamada
but how big one's heart is,
or one's love is. Something like that?
[18:56] Akemi
That's not it!
[18:59] Akemi
Don't spoil those with small cocks!
[19:01] Akemi
We're talking about cocks here!
[19:03] Kazama
Ah, scary! My cock's starting to shrink...
[19:07] Akemi
Rather than just size, a cock has other
scoring criteria like shape and color!
[19:12] Akemi
Is it really okay to negate those things
and claim that size is all that matters?
[19:19] Yamada
A common saying comes to mind...
[19:22] Kazama
It's not about having big boobs.
[19:26] Kazama
Having the right balance is important too.
[19:29] Kazama
But if that's the case, I'm starting to get
concerned about not only my size,
[19:34] Kazama
but the shape and color of my cock too.
[19:39] Kazama
Could you appraise it for me?
[19:41] Yamada
No way.
[19:42] Akemi
Um... could I chime in as an outsider?
[19:45] Akemi
I'm in balls deep with this one.
I want to know.
[19:47] Yamada
In balls deep?!
[19:50] Yamada
How should I put it... I really
don't like having to watch someone
[19:54] Yamada
appraise someone's cock more than
someone showing me their cock...
[19:58] Akemi
Aw, are you jealous?
[20:00] Akemi
Are you jealous that I'm looking at
someone else's cock rather than yours?
[20:04] Kazama
No, he's just disgusted.
[20:07] Kazama
Well then, let's take a peek...
[20:18] Kazama
How is it?
[20:26] Akemi
Yep, today's another peaceful day.
[20:42] Akemi
Oh, Mama, since when were you in the bathroom?
[20:45] Basue
Now, now. Today's been another peaceful day,
so let's start closing up for the night.
[20:52] Akemi
I really don't want to end it
with us looking at Kazama's cock.
[20:56] Kazama
Then let's sing something and end the day.
[20:59] Yamada
Kazama-san, you never sing it yourself,
so don't sing.
[21:02] Akemi
Hmm... Mama, you sing something.
[21:05] Basue
What? Me?
[21:07] Akemi
Please sing a song that'll help everyone
feel motivated to work again tomorrow.
[21:11] Basue
Oh, let's see...
[21:14] [SONG] Caption
Reserve
SIGN Applause
[21:15] Akemi
What?!
[21:18] Kazama
I don't know this song, but the title
makes it sound like a bright future.
[21:22] Yamada
No... didn't Akemi-san just say
"What?!" to this song?
[21:26] Basue
It's a song with thoughts of looking forward.
[21:30] Akemi
Yeah, I suppose it is, but...
[21:36] Basue
As usual, the curtains opened and
[21:42] Basue
I sang my love song when
[21:49] Basue
I received a message
[21:55] Basue
that was printed in the back of the newspaper.
[22:04] Basue
That was three years ago,
when I left you at the station
[22:14] Basue
and leapt onto the moving train
by myself even though you tried to stop me.
[22:26] Basue
In a quiet town during the afternoon,
[22:32] Basue
I stood in front of the church.
[22:39] Basue
While I wore a mourning dress,
[22:45] Basue
I even lost the words to pray.
[22:57] Basue
Thank you very much.
[23:00] Kazama
That was kinda...
[23:02] Yamada
Lonely and depressing, wasn't it?
[23:05] Akemi
Oh, Mama, I can't believe you ended
the day with a heavy song like that.
[23:11] Basue
Don't worry, Akemi-chan.
[23:13] Akemi
About what?
[23:15] Basue
No matter how a day ends,
tomorrow is another day.
[23:22] Basue
Snack Basue will be open for business as usual.
[23:26] Akemi
That's a good way to put it.
[23:28] Kazama
Then I guess I'll come tomorrow too.
[23:30] Yamada
What, tomorrow too?
[23:32] Kazama
What, you don't wanna come?
[23:34] Yamada
No, it's more like not with you, Kazama-san...
[23:37] Kazama
Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey!
[23:39] Kazama
Aren't you being an awful sport?
[23:41] Yamada
Like I said, that is exactly
why I'm being an awful sport.
[23:43] Akemi
I solicit! I solicit!
[23:44] Yamada
You really want that misused phrase
to catch on, don't you?
[23:46] Akemi
It already caught on!
[23:48] Yamada
Really? I've never heard anyone use it.
E13 - Risen' To the Top / Just One Look
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:04] Kazama
Recently,
[00:07] Kazama
I've been working out.
[00:11] Kazama
You wanna feel it?
[00:13] Akemi
Oh, I really can't handle bugs, so...
[00:17] Kazama
I am a mammal, you know?
[00:19] Azuma
What if you use a tissue?
[00:23] Akemi
I'd have to use at least three tissues.
[00:26] Kazama
If I didn't work out, I'd be crying...
[00:29] Kazama
Hm?!
[00:31] Kazama
Hey, you're... pretty buff too?
[00:36] Azuma
Can you tell?
SIGN Douglas Hamada Method
SIGN New Body
Modification Method
[00:38] Azuma
It's the Douglas Hamada Method,
New Body Modification Technique.
SIGN Douglas Hamada Method
[00:42] Akemi
New?
[00:43] Kazama
Huh? Can I feel them?
[00:48] Azuma
As you wish.
[00:50] Kazama
A-All right then.
[00:54] Kazama
Oh ho! That's good!
[00:58] Azuma
Ah, you're pretty big too?
[01:02] Azuma
Amazing... It's big and... hard.
[01:02] Kazama
Oh, man. Can't get enough.
[01:07] Akemi
That's sick!
[01:08] Kazama
Huh?
[01:10] Kazama
In a good way?
[01:12] Kazama
In a gross way!
[01:22] [SONG] Sign
Snack Basue
[01:27] [SONG] Sign
Snack Basue
SIGN (If you're a man, you desire)
[02:47] Akemi
No, seriously, it's gross.
[02:51] Kazama
But don't you girls do this sort of thing
in public bath houses, too?
[02:56] Akemi
No!
[02:57] Akemi
...Is what I want to say, but I'd feel bad
crushing people's dreams.
[03:01] Azuma
You're a good woman.
[03:03] Kazama
But take a look at
Doug-niisan's tight muscles!
[03:09] Azuma
Don't you think Kazama-kun's body
also deserves some praise?
[03:15] Akemi
...Is what you're asking me,
but I have no idea.
[03:18] Kazama
Ah, you amateur!
[03:21] Akemi
But even bodybuilders don't look so macho
while they're getting bulked up.
[03:27] Bodybuilder (built)
Power!
[03:29] Bodybuilder (fat)
No power!
[03:31] Azuma
Hm, it seems she's not just
an amateur after all.
[03:35] Kazama
But come on, you still prefer
toned bodies, don't you?
[03:40] Akemi
With the way you guys are working out,
it's the same as when you have your clothes on.
[03:44] Akemi
It's more than looking hot
when you take off your clothes.
[03:46] Muscle man
Power!
[03:47] Woman
Please put on clothes!
[03:48] Akemi
I prefer guys looking hot
with their clothes on.
[03:53] Muscle man
Clothes—
[03:54] Woman
Aw, you have your clothes on for me.
[03:56] Kazama
Is that... the same as being able
to mostly do it
[03:58] Kazama
as long as they're wearing a paper bag?
[04:01] Muscle man
All right!
[04:03] Akemi
You should keep a garbage bag on, Kazama!
[04:06] Azuma
We want you to...
[04:08] Azuma
look at us more on the inside.
[04:10] Akemi
No, that's not what looking at the inside is!
[04:15] Akemi
Well, you know... if you asked me
which one I preferred,
[04:18] Akemi
of course it'd be the toned body, but...
[04:21] Akemi
I just don't like the thought!
[04:23] Azuma
That's more inside-focused than I expected...
[04:26] Akemi
First of all, you guys are not only making
your muscles bigger, but also your egos.
[04:31] Azuma
I don't think we are...
[04:34] Azuma
I think there are some humble
macho guys in the world too.
[04:38] Akemi
They're macho and yet humble?
What are they getting buffed up for then?
[04:43] Azuma
Then let me ask the opposite.
What do you think people work out for?
[04:46] Akemi
Huh? What do they work out for?
[04:49] Azuma
Huh? You ask why, but it's for health
and weight control reasons...
[04:55] Azuma
...is what it's supposed to be for.
However, recently, I'm not so sure anymore.
[04:58] Kazama
You're right...
[05:00] Kazama
Why is it that I'm happy that
my muscles are getting bigger?
[05:04] Akemi
That's because when you start to work out,
[05:07] Akemi
your muscles begin to take over
your consciousness.
[05:10] Azuma and Kazuma
What?!
[05:12] Akemi
Before you know it,
you're lifting heavy things
[05:15] Akemi
and searching for protein-rich foods.
[05:20] Akemi
Can you think of any incidents like that?
[05:22] Kazama
Come to think of it, I'm starting to feel like
I'm being controlled by my muscles!
[05:27] Azuma
Please, calm down.
[05:29] Azuma
First off, isn't that how it is when you're
fully immersed in a hobby?
[05:34] Azuma
Even if you feel like it's a waste of time,
you can't stop because it's fun.
[05:38] Azuma
That's just how it is.
[05:40] Kazama
Yeah, you said it.
[05:42] Kazama
Hobbies are meant to be satisfying.
[05:46] Akemi
Yeah.
[05:47] Kazama
But at the very least...
[05:51] Kazama
people who work out are definitely
better than those who don't!
[05:56] Akemi
There's that thought! You're so obnoxious!
[06:00] Kazama
I'm not bothering anyone!
[06:02] Kazama
I'm not bothering anyone!
[06:03] Akemi
Even so, people who make claims like that
become potential criminals!
[06:08] Kazama
People who don't work out
would never understand!
[06:11] Akemi
What does a muscle-brain like you know?!
[06:15] Azuma
Both sides, enough!
[06:19] Azuma
It's too sad when people discriminate against
each other because of their hobbies.
[06:25] Azuma
Why don't we respect
one another here and shake on it!
[06:30] Azuma
Now, come on!
[06:37] Azuma
The gap is wide when you use three tissues.
[06:47] Kazama
I won!
[06:52] Azuma
That would definitely make her pull back.
[06:58] Azuma
Akemi-chan... Did that make you angry?
[07:06] Azuma
I-Is she...
[07:08] Azuma
getting pumped up to take her revenge?!
[07:10] Kazama
People who work out
with a clear purpose are scary!
[07:14] Kazama
There's no way I could win against that!
SIGN Snack Basue
SIGN (With kindness)
[07:24] Akemi
Fuck!
[07:26] Akemi
Fuck, fuck!
[07:29] Akemi
Fuck!
[07:30] Akemi
This fucking braised pork!
[07:33] Akemi
As soon as I put it in my mouth...
[07:35] Akemi
Fuck!
[07:37] Akemi
I want to savor the taste more
but it melts away!
[07:40] Akemi
It's the best fucking braised meat!
[07:43] Kosame
Akemi-san, what's going on?
[07:44] {background}
Mm, fuck! Fuck!
[07:47] Kosame
You're carrying on, saying "fuck, fuck."
[07:48] Akemi
You don't know, Kosame-chan?
[07:50] Akemi
I heard that you can relieve stress by saying
bad words and that it's good for your health.
[07:56] Kosame
Oh, I thought you turned into an American.
[08:00] Akemi
Hey! Watch what you say!
[08:02] Kosame
Huh, okay...
[08:05] Kosame
But is it really good for your health?
[08:08] Akemi
I saw it in the headline
of an online news article.
[08:11] Kosame
The credibility is questionable
even if you read the whole article,
[08:14] Kosame
and you only read the headline?!
[08:15] Akemi
But, seriously, it fucking feels good!
[08:19] Akemi
Fuck-k-k-k!
[08:21] Kosame
Shut up!
[08:22] Kosame
Think of those
who are forced to listen to it!
[08:24] Akemi
What?
[08:25] Kosame
What do you mean, "What?"
[08:27] Kosame
It may be good for the person saying it,
[08:28] Kosame
but you're passing your
wrinkles over here as stress!
[08:32] Akemi
Then, Kosame-chan, why don't
you say bad words too?
[08:37] Kosame
If I did that, it'd be like a dodgeball game
of bad words going back and forth.
[08:41] Kosame
I will endure and break the cycle of hate.
[08:45] Akemi
That's the type of person
we need in today's society.
[08:49] Akemi
But it puts you in a bad position.
[08:52] Kosame
It was silly to begin with.
[08:55] Kosame
It's supposed to be healthier to say
kind words instead of bad words.
[09:00] Kosame
If everyone felt kind,
[09:02] Kosame
there would be less stress
and everyone would benefit from it!
[09:05] Akemi
You really think so?
[09:07] Kosame
Yes, I'm sure!
[09:09] Kosame
It's wrong to even question that!
[09:12] Akemi
What?
[09:13] Kosame
You have a hard time
being kind because you question it.
[09:18] Akemi
Oh, I sense a dangerous thought.
[09:21] Kosame
Starting today, you should stop cursing,
and only use kind words!
[09:27] Akemi
Kind... words?
[09:31] Akemi
100,000,000 yen?
[09:33] Akemi
Unearned income?
[09:34] Kosame
Akemi-san?
[09:36] Akemi
I have no vocabulary for kind words!
[09:38] Kosame
What?!
[09:40] Akemi
I never thought I was such a sloppy,
shitty, meat doll...
[09:45] Kosame
There you go again, using bad words...
[09:48] Kosame
You know, like saying
an appreciative "thank you",
[09:52] Kosame
or encouraging words like "Good job!"
[09:55] Akemi
Huh? Don't you use those words when
you're aggravating or teasing someone?
[09:59] Kosame
What, "You're a sloppy, shitty, meat doll"?
[10:03] Akemi
It's hard for me to say kind words...
[10:06] Kosame
Why don't you start
by not using bad words?
[10:11] Kosame
If you speak your mind,
you're bound to hurt someone's feelings.
[10:16] Kosame
So, I try to say things in a roundabout way,
and they'll turn into kind words.
[10:22] Akemi
Oh, so I should be like the people from Kyoto
and say "meanie" instead of bitch?
[10:28] Aristocrat
My, haven't your skills with the piano
been improving lately?
[10:30] Purple Shikibu
He is seriously just talking bad about you.
[10:33] Purple Shikibu
FYI, he means "You're noisy everyday!"
[10:36] Kosame
Not sure what that means. The context isn't wrong,
but somehow it sounds like an insult.
[10:42] Akemi
Well, I feel kindness
just from the wording alone.
[10:48] Akemi
I'm no match against the real deal, but...
[10:51] Kosame
Um... Why don't we stop for now?
[10:54] Akemi
And why is that?
[10:56] Kosame
I mean...
[10:57] Akemi
It is fine, Kosame-han.
[11:00] Akemi
Considering the population of Japan,
[11:02] Akemi
Kyoto prefecture only
contains 2% of them.
[11:07] Kosame
I... see.
[11:09] Akemi
Then...
[11:10] Akemi
It's okay, right?!
[11:11] Kosame
What is?! You don't care
if they get pissed at you?!
[11:14] Kosame
No, even if it is 2%, is there a need
to make them your enemies?
[11:20] Akemi
If you turn 2% into enemies,
[11:23] Akemi
that means if you can gain more allies,
you can win the battle.
[11:26] Kosame
Don't start a battle to begin with!
[11:29] Akemi
In this world, you can't survive
with just kindness.
[11:33] Kosame
But bad words are still bad, you know.
[11:37] Akemi
Why does that sound like
something from Bad Boys 2 Bad?
[11:41] Akemi
What it comes down to is
that there aren't bad words,
[11:45] Akemi
it's just that there are people
who make them bad.
[11:49] Akemi
Instead of passing judgment
on the words themselves,
[11:51] Akemi
the person who uses them should take
responsibility for what they say.
[11:55] Kosame
You've wrapped it up in a way
that kind of sounds correct.
[11:58] Akemi
So, to the people of Kyoto,
[12:02] Akemi
I am terribly sorry for using you
as a bad joke earlier.
[12:07] Kosame
If you're going to apologize,
don't say it in the first place!
[12:11] Akemi
I-I wonder if it's okay...
[12:13] Akemi
I feel like this apology is going to
provoke people instead.
[12:17] Kosame
Lame!
SIGN Snack Basue
[12:21] Purple Shikibu
Purple Shikib—
[12:21] Akemi
Wrong! It's Snack Basue!
[12:24] Purple Shikibu
Seriously?
SIGN (A gift from the heart)
[12:31] Morita
Here, Akemi-chan.
[12:33] Akemi
What is it?
[12:34] Akemi
The enemy General's head?
[12:36] Morita
I didn't just come home from a war!
[12:39] Morita
I kept missing my chance,
but it's for White Day!
[12:43] Akemi
Celebrating White Day at
a different time of the year...
[12:45] Morita
...is actually thrilling!
[12:47] Morita
That's all it took?
[12:49] Akemi
Can I open it?!
[12:50] Morita
You're like an American child
opening a present on Christmas.
[12:58] Basue
Oh, what a cute cactus.
[13:02] Morita
Right? It's rather stylish,
considering it was me who chose it.
[13:06] Akemi
It looks the same.
[13:08] Morita
What?
[13:09] Basue
To what?
[13:12] Akemi
To what…
[13:13] Morita
Yeah, to what?
[13:16] Akemi
If I have to say it,
it would be to my ex-boyfriend's...
[13:22] Morita
Your ex... was a cactus?
[13:25] Akemi
Not like that!
[13:26] Morita
I-I mean, cacti are easy to take care of,
[13:30] Morita
and I thought the size
was good for starters, but...
[13:33] Morita
Oh, is it because a cactus has thorns
and it could mean damaging relationships,
[13:38] Morita
so it wasn't a good present to give someone
in the customer service industry type thing?
[13:41] Akemi
I wasn't thinking that deeply!
[13:44] Akemi
Morita, are you honestly saying that?
[13:48] Morita
What are you talking about?
[13:49] Akemi
How about if I put a mosaic over it...
[13:53] Akemi
How about now?
[13:54] Morita
The heck is that?
[13:55] Morita
Akemi-chan, what are you even talking about?!
[13:59] Akemi
Come on,
[14:03] Akemi
it's a cock.
[14:08] Akemi
It's a cock!
[14:09] Basue
Now, Akemi-chan...
[14:11] Basue
He just gave you a present,
you shouldn't say it—
[14:14] Basue
It's a cock!
[14:16] Morita
...It's not?
[14:18] Morita
This is a stylish cactus, you know?
[14:21] Morita
Just by being here, it makes the room
look brighter and yet isn't too insistent...
[14:26] Morita
The flower symbolizes
a love that never withers.
[14:28] Morita
What do you think?
[14:29] Morita
Can't be more stylish than that, right?
[14:31] Akemi and Basue
Can't be more cock than that!
[14:33] Morita
Quit it!
[14:34] Morita
What are you guys even going on about?!
[14:37] Morita
Take a good look!
[14:40] Morita
It's a cock!
[14:42] Morita
Oh, man, it's a cock!
[14:44] Morita
The heck is this?!
[14:45] Morita
It looks nothing like the one
I ordered from the internet!
[14:48] Morita
I'll have them exchange it!
[14:50] Akemi
Huh? Why?
[14:52] Akemi
It's cute, isn't it?
[14:57] Morita
But... It's a cock?
[14:59] Akemi
Yeah, it's a cock.
[15:01] Akemi
Thank you, Morita. I'll take good care of it.
[15:04] Morita
But it's a cock?!
[15:06] Akemi
Doesn't a cactus grow well
when you talk to it?
[15:09] Akemi
Isn't that right, Cocky?
[15:10] Morita
Now you're just wanting to say cock.
[15:12] Morita
If you think cocks are so cute,
[15:14] Morita
you should come play with mine!
[15:17] Akemi
You're the worst! That's sexual harassment!
[15:19] Morita
You've been calling it a cock this whole time
and you're going to ping me now?
[15:21] Akemi
Sexual harassment is judged
based on who's receiving it!
[15:24] Morita
To men, that's as unfair as the rook
getting taken off the board.
[15:27] Morita
Why is the real one bad?
[15:30] Akemi
You don't get it, do you?
[15:33] Akemi
A teddy bear is cute,
but a real bear is scary!
[15:37] Akemi
It's the same as that!
[15:39] Morita
Huh? I want another example.
[15:43] Akemi
Then...
[15:44] Akemi
If you put a cock-like thing
on social media, it'll go viral,
[15:49] Akemi
but if it's a real cock, it'll be flagged!
[15:51] Morita
You're right!
[15:53] Morita
That was easy to understand!
[15:54] Morita
Hey, we've been talking about cocks
this whole time, but is that okay?
[15:58] Basue
The viewers will decide that.
[16:01] Morita
That's not good.
[16:02] Basue
But I think manga readers are the only ones
following this anime to the special edition.
[16:10] Morita
So we're good then!
[16:11] Basue
Oh, actually, I have a present
for everyone too.
[16:16] Morita
Are you serious?
[16:17] Akemi
What kind? What kind?
[16:22] Basue
Abalone.
[16:24] Basue
My fisherman friend sent it to me.
[16:28] Basue
Let's eat it together.
[16:31] Basue
Now, come! Come to me!
[16:34] Akemi
Mama... The awfulness of your dirty joke
is against regulations.
[16:37] Akemi
Disqualification!
[16:46] Basue
...is what happened.
[16:48] Tatsu-ni
All I got from that was that
you messed up, Mama.
[16:51] Tatsu-ni
And? What's that box?
SIGN Donations
[16:54] Basue
It's a donation box.
[16:56] Basue
Akemi-chan is getting way out of hand
with her lewd comments,
SIGN Donations
[17:01] Basue
so I've decided to make her donate 100 yen
[17:03] Basue
each time she makes one
at the store from now on.
[17:07] Tatsu-ni
It's a fine no matter how I look at it,
but I can see how it's good for society.
[17:11] Akemi
Seriously, I can't believe Mama.
How rude of her.
[17:15] Akemi
I don't make dirty jokes
all the time, sheesh!
[17:19] Tatsu-ni
You say that, but the amount
of coins you've prepared
[17:21] Tatsu-ni
is about the same as what you'd have
at an arcade in its heyday.
[17:26] Akemi
Why don't you change it to LED?
[17:28] Tatsu-ni
Never mind that. I have a game that's perfect,
now that you can't make dirty jokes.
[17:33] Tatsu-ni
It's called Ero-Riddles!
[17:36] Basue
Hey now... I think that's
sexual harassment...
[17:40] Basue
Uh... I'll allow it!
[17:43] Tatsu-ni
Okay, question number one. Dun dun.
[17:46] Tatsu-ni
What does a girl want from a guy she likes?
[17:51] Akemi
His cock!
[17:52] Tatsu-ni
No hesitation.
[17:54] Akemi
Since I got it right, the contents
of the box are all mine, okay?
[17:57] Tatsu-ni
It's not that kind of gambling
we're doing here!
[17:59] Basue
It's not just her mouth!
She's rotten to the core!
[18:03] Tatsu-ni
Besides, cock is not the right answer!
[18:06] Tatsu-ni
You can't answer with dirty jokes.
[18:09] Tatsu-ni
What's good about these ero-riddles
is that you need to avoid the traps
[18:13] Tatsu-ni
and come up with safe answers.
[18:15] Akemi
I see...
[18:17] Akemi
Something a girl would want
from a guy she likes...
[18:22] Akemi
Wouldn't she be happy with a cock too?
[18:23] Tatsu-ni
The answer is a ring, but which
would she be happy with?
[18:28] Tatsu-ni
Anyway, question number two... Dun dun.
[18:30] Tatsu-ni
What's harder to use the more you stroke it?
[18:34] Akemi
Cock!
[18:35] Tatsu-ni
What's that in your hand?!
[18:37] Basue
It's more serious than I thought...
[18:41] Tatsu-ni
It was my fault for applying the advanced
rules of ero-riddles without easing into it.
[18:47] Tatsu-ni
Akemi-chan, I'm sorry.
[18:49] Tatsu-ni
Let's end the riddles here,
and go over the rules again.
[18:52] Tatsu-ni
First one is "Do not make dirty jokes."
[18:55] Tatsu-ni
Second one is "If you do,
you will pay a 100 yen fine."
[18:57] Tatsu-ni
For now, these two rules. Okay?
[19:01] Akemi
Okay, cock!
[19:02] Tatsu-ni
Why?
[19:03] Tatsu-ni
Hey, were you listening?
[19:05] Akemi
I was listening.
That's why I paid the fine. Cock.
[19:09] Tatsu-ni
It's not good to think that it's okay
as long as you pay!
[19:14] Basue
It seems the fine is too cheap.
[19:16] Tatsu-ni
You're finally calling it a fine, but, well,
I think it's best to raise the price more.
[19:21] Basue
Then... how about 200 yen.
SIGN Donation
[19:24] Akemi
Cock!
[19:24] Basue
300 yen!
[19:26] Akemi
Cock!
[19:27] Tatsu-ni
It's like an auction is going on...
[19:29] Tatsu-ni
How much are you willing to pay up to?
[19:32] Akemi
If it goes over 1000 yen, I'll stop.
[19:35] Tatsu-ni
You're like a smoker.
[19:38] Basue
Then 1000 yen it is.
[19:42] Akemi
Cock!
[19:43] Tatsu-ni
You're like a smoker who can't quit.
[19:46] Akemi
This is just like the gacha
from a mobile game.
[19:49] Akemi
Once you start purchasing things,
[19:51] Akemi
you become more and more numb
to the situation and continue buying.
[19:54] Basue
It's dangerous to slip into the world
of paying for data, Akemi-chan.
[20:00] Tatsu-ni
When you think about it that way,
[20:01] Tatsu-ni
manga is cheap for something
you can read over and over again.
[20:04] Tatsu-ni
So more people should buy it.
[20:07] Basue
When you don't buy them, your favorite
manga don't continue, either.
[20:15] Akemi
Hey. It's more like
[20:16] Akemi
you're insane for trying to bind people's
words and actions with fines!
[20:20] Tatsu-ni
Then what do you suggest we do?
[20:22] Akemi
Hm... If someone says a bad word,
how about they get shoulder punched?
[20:25] Tatsu-ni
What are you, a junior high school student?
[20:27] Basue
Why don't you risk your life?
[20:29] Tatsu-ni
What are you, an elementary school student?
[20:31] Basue
How about you, Tatsu-ni?
Do you have a better idea?
[20:35] Akemi
Hey! LED!
[20:37] Tatsu-ni
How about something like... If you say
a dirty joke, as a punishment,
[20:39] Tatsu-ni
you have to confess your love to Morita-chan?
[20:42] Akemi
That's the worst type of bullying!
[20:45] Akemi
I can't believe you, Tatsu-ni!
[20:47] Basue
Don't you feel sorry for Morita-chan?!
[20:51] Tatsu-ni
But true love might develop from
the punishment, you know?
[20:55] Akemi
A true punishment game!
[20:57] Basue
Horrifying good intentions.
[21:00] Akemi
Isn't there a more lenient
punishment than that?
[21:03] Basue
Then how about hanging
a derogatory sign from your neck
SIGN I'll only marry tall,
handsome men
who make over
10,000,000 yen!!
SIGN m 0 0 l 120 0 120 150 0 155
[21:07] Basue
and walking through the slums?
[21:10] Tatsu-ni
Die Hard 3!
[21:11] Akemi
Is that more lenient
than the one with Morita?!
[21:13] Akemi
Don't you think it's escalated too much
from paying a fine of 100 yen?!
[21:16] Akemi
All of a sudden, the goal has become
to inflict the harshest punishment on me!
[21:22] Akemi
To begin with, wasn't it to make me
stop telling dirty jokes?!
[21:27] Akemi
Come on, you two! Keep it together!
[21:29] Tatsu-ni
If only you kept it together,
everything would be fine, but...
[21:34] Basue
Ah, maybe I'll just lift the ban
on telling dirty jokes then.
[21:37] Akemi
All right!
[21:39] Basue
What if I make it the opposite and say
you're only allowed to tell dirty jokes?
[21:42] Basue
Maybe you might get sick of them.
[21:45] Tatsu-ni
Wouldn't that turn into
a punishment game for us?
[21:48] Tatsu-ni
We'd have to deal with someone
who only tells dirty jokes, you know?
[21:52] Basue
A blindspot was found!
[21:54] Basue
Actually, it's more like...
[21:56] Basue
On the contrary, it's no different
than any other day.
[22:00] Akemi
I don't want to be the one to say this,
[22:02] Akemi
but you're the one
who hired people like me, Mama!
[22:04] Akemi
Let's just act like we normally do.
[22:07] Akemi
There's no need to ban dirty jokes.
[22:10] Akemi
That's because this is a run-down snack bar.
[22:13] Akemi
The customers are here to be able to freely
say dirty jokes that they can't at work!
[22:19] Basue
Then make sure you're the one listening.
[22:23] Tatsu-ni
Well, you know... that's the best part
about this snack bar.
[22:28] Tatsu-ni
So I say, why not let her
tell dirty jokes for today?
[22:32] Akemi
Woohoo, I won the lawsuit!
[22:35] Akemi
Oh, but you know...
[22:40] Akemi
If we're going to allow it,
[22:41] Akemi
I'd like it if we banned ones
that have ulterior motives.
[22:46] Akemi
Hm, what I'm trying to say is, my dirty jokes
are all purely to get the upper hand.
[22:51] Akemi
There are some that aren't like that and are
told more for sexual purposes, you know?
[22:57] Akemi
Unlike my dirty jokes, that play on words
to satisfy my intellectual curiosity...
[23:04] Akemi
If I'm right, some tell dirty jokes
to satisfy their sexual needs...
[23:07] Akemi
Or perhaps even as part of their foreplay.
I think those should be banned.
[23:15] Basue
I see... Akemi-chan... I understand.
[23:21] Basue
I can't be bothered distinguishing them,
so I'm just going to ban all dirty jokes!
[23:26] Akemi
What?!
[23:27] Tatsu-ni
So that's how inconvenient rules are made...
[23:33] Akemi
Oh?
[23:34] Yamada
Hello.
[23:36] Akemi
It's Yamada... and...
[23:38] Morita
Me!
[23:39] Tatsu-ni
Oh, Morita-chan is with you too.
[23:42] Morita
We ran into each other downstairs...
[23:44] Morita
And, uh, Mama, what's with the donation box?
[23:47] Basue
Akemi-chan said cock too many times,
so I collected a lot of donations.
[23:53] Morita
I don't get it at all.
[23:55] Basue
Oh, I know! Since everyone is here,
[23:59] Basue
why don't I get you guys
some pizza with this money.
[24:02] Yamada
Oh, I actually ate already today.
[24:05] Basue
Oh...
[24:07] Morita
Me too. I'll take some
light dried snacks though.
[24:11] Morita
Do you have some peanuts?
[24:12] Akemi
All right!
[24:13] Akemi
Then, Tatsu-ni, put in a song
that fits what he ordered.
[24:18] Tatsu-ni
Huh, a song that fits what he ordered?
[24:21] Tatsu-ni
Even though we have the same publisher,
[24:23] Tatsu-ni
I don't think it's a good idea
to take it that far, don't you think?
[24:26] Yamada
What kind of family of spies
are you thinking about?
[24:29] Morita
Then...
[24:31] Morita
How about this?
[24:33] Tatsu-ni
Oh, Morita-chan, that's perfect.
[24:36] Yamada
That's a good one.
[24:38] Morita
Right?
[24:40] Tatsu-ni
But... I wonder if I can hit the notes?
[24:40] [SONG] Caption
Reserved
SIGN Vacation of Love
[24:43] Yamada
You intend to sing it?!
[24:45] Tatsu-ni
I'm kidding.
[24:47] Tatsu-ni
Here.
[24:48] Tatsu-ni
Even on days when the conversations are bad,
[24:50] Tatsu-ni
if you end them with a good song,
everything will be okay.
[24:53] Tatsu-ni
We're counting on you, Mama, Akemi-chan.
[24:56] Akemi
Okay, cock!
[24:57] Basue
Akemi-chan, we're done
with that conversation.
[25:02] Basue and Akemi
* My maiden heart dreams of a sweet love*
[25:12] Basue and Akemi
* with your breathless kiss.
[25:22] Basue and Akemi
Let's make love
on the golden, glittering, hot sand*
[25:32] Basue and Akemi
* naked, just like a mermaid.
[25:42] Basue and Akemi
The promise he whispered,
as our tanned cheeks touch,
[25:52] Basue and Akemi
is a secret kept between us.
It makes me utter a sigh.
[26:02] Basue and Akemi
Oh, these hopeful months
and days filled with love and happiness.
[26:12] Basue and Akemi
My vacation of love
where I first laid my eyes on you.*
[26:23] Yamada
It's really fun.
[26:25] Morita
What's with you all of a sudden, Yama-chan?
[26:27] Yamada
Oh, it's just...
[26:28] Yamada
I was thinking how nice it is
to feel this way
[26:31] Yamada
at a snack bar that I just
happen to go to now.
[26:35] Morita
...Yeah.
[26:38] Akemi
Okay, go on to the next,
Yamada! Sing! Sing!
[26:42] Yamada
What, me?
[26:44] Akemi
Come on!
[26:46] Akemi
Everyone, let's get pumped up!
[26:48] Akemi
Swing those towels!
[26:49] [SONG] Caption
Snack Basue
[26:50] Yamada
W-What? Isn't this Tatsu-ni's
signature song?!
[26:51] Basue; Tatsu-ni; Morita
Yay!
[26:53] Tatsu-ni
I'm counting on you, Yama-chan!
[26:55] Yamada
I'm saying, what language
is this song even in?!