E1 - Rent-a-Girlfriend Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:03] Kazuya     I'm Kinoshita Kazuya, twenty years old, [00:05] Kazuya     and I'm a college student     living by myself in Tokyo. [00:08] K     Fun fact: I have a girlfriend. [00:11] K     I repeat: [00:13] K     I have a girlfriend! [00:16] Mami     Sorry! [00:16] Mami     I've fallen in love with someone else!     Let's break up, okay? SIGN    Let's break up, okay? SIGN    What? [00:23] K     I got dumped! [00:29] K     She was the first girlfriend I ever had... [00:34] K     And she dumped me after just one month? SIGN    Tried to casually hold her hand [00:39] K     Mami-chan... [00:40] K     I tried so many things to bring us closer. SIGN    All-nighter at a pub [00:43] (Flashback) M     I should go catch the last train. [00:45] (Flashback) K     Oh, yeah! Nothing beats taking     a train to get back home, huh? SIGN     You are blocked from following @pyon-pyon210     and viewing @pyon-pyon210's Tweets. [00:50] K     She blocked me. [00:52] K     Don't tell me... [00:53] K     She's already moved on and gone     all the way with the new guy?! SIGN    Torment [00:58] K     This sucks! SIGN    Torment [00:59] K     And why am I getting turned on? SIGN    Torment [01:01] K     Junior's a big boy now! He's ready to move out! [01:13] Sign     Japan's most popular     Rent-a-Girlfriend site! [01:13] Sign     Install [01:13] Sign     A gem of an app that heals your soul... [01:13] Sign     134 reviews [01:15] K     Rent-a-Girlfriend? [01:17] Sign     Spend a dreamlike time     with our talents! [01:19] Sign     You're free to choose your girlfriend! [01:21] Sign     For just 5,000 yen per hour! [01:23] Sign     Perfect if you're worried or stressed out about your love life! [01:55] K     Man, I've had it. [01:59] K     Like... I'm just... fed up with it all. [02:07] Sign     Mizuhara Chizuru SIGN    A pure and refined     high-class girlfriend SIGN    "Rent-a-Girlfriend" [02:13] Sign     Tokyo Underground [02:13] Sign     Ikebukuro Station [02:15] K     What am I doing here? [02:17] K     I bet the girl's gonna be fugly     without all the filters. [02:20] Chizuru     An orange shirt and striped pants... [02:30] Chizuru     You must be Kazuya-kun, right? [02:34] Sign     Café Kanoir [02:34] C     You're in college? What year? [02:37] K     F-First year. [02:38] C     What? Me, too! [02:40] K     Oh, but I took a gap year. [02:42] C     Ah, you're older than me, then. [02:45] C     Oops. [02:45] K     Damn... [02:48] K     She's hot! [02:50] K     Anyone dating her would be living the life! [02:55] K     Whoa. [02:56] C     Hey, uh... [02:59] C     Do you mind? [03:04] K     Oh, sure. [03:06] K     Crap... I wanna leave. [03:11] K     I wanna go home and sleep. [03:18] K     Oh, so we're following     the date plan I sent by text. [03:23] C     This is my first time at an aquarium. [03:26] K     Really? That's unusual. [03:29] C     Wow, that fish is cute. [03:31] K     Oh, that's the glowlight tetra. [03:34] C     Do you know a lot about fish? [03:35] K     I-I guess? I love hitting up aquariums. [03:39] C     Wow! [03:41] C     I'm so glad my first     aquarium visit was with you! [04:09] C     Well, I had lots of fun today. [04:11] C     Thanks, Kazuya-kun! See you! [04:25] Sign     The Head-over-Heels for Mizuhara Chizuru Thread [04:27] Sign     It's Anon's Fault [04:27] Sign     she held my hand at the end too, lol [04:29] Sign     It's Anon's Fault [04:29] Sign     She was only businesslike at first [04:29] Sign     I had fun after that [04:31] Sign     It's Anon's Fault [04:31] Sign     The "see you" -> bright smile     totally makes you wanna repeat lol [04:33] Sign     It's Anon's Fault [04:33] Sign     I'm glad I wasn't the only one to fall for her,     but there's way too many of you guys!!! [04:37] K     O-Outrageous! [04:39] K     It was all an act?! [04:42] K     Holding hands before the end     is just part of her routine?! [04:45] K     How dare she toy with my heart?! [04:47] Sign     Anonymous [04:47] Sign     She was a moron who didn't even know     the names of common fish [04:48] K     "She was a moron who didn't even     know the names of common fish." [04:52] Sign     Credit (yen) [04:52] Sign     Balance (yen) [04:53] (Flashback) Kazuo     Use this to get by. [04:56] (Flashback) Kazuo     I will not send you any more     money for living expenses. [05:00] (Flashback) Kazuo     Make sure you don't get swept up     in campus life and waste it all. [05:04] (Flashback) K     Are you stupid? [05:05] (Flashback) K     I'm not going to college to have fun! [05:14] K     I just... [05:16] K     I just need to give her a piece of my mind! [05:19] C     Kazuya-kun! Did you wait long? [05:22] C     Sorry, it took me a while to set my hair. [05:24] C     I was worried you might not like this hairdo. [05:28] C     What do you think? [05:30] K     I-I don't hate it or anything. [05:33] C     Thank goodness! [05:34] K     Damn it! She's so cute! [05:37] Sign     Café Kanoir [05:39] C     Fee received. Thank you. [05:43] K     Hey, doesn't it make you feel empty inside? [05:46] ---     Huh? [05:48] K     Y'know, going on dates     with guys you don't even like, [05:52] K     and getting paid for it. [05:56] K     Doesn't it get to you? [05:58] C     No. I love this job. [06:03] C     I get to meet people like you, after all. [06:07] Sign     Flea Market 150 yen [06:07] W     Will one bag do for the mister and missus? [06:11] W     Here. [06:12] K     Huh? W-We're not ma— [06:14] C     We're dating! [06:17] K     No, we're not even that. [06:21] K     We're total strangers, [06:22] K     aren't we? [06:25] K     Technically. [06:27] W     Oh, uh... I guess I'll split your purchases up. [06:33] C     Sure. We can be whatever     you want us to be, Kazuya-kun. [06:40] C     Look, Kazuya-kun! Neon tetras! [06:43] K     Oh, yeah. [06:44] C     Cute! [06:47] C     Garden eels hide in the sand     because they're afraid, right? [06:48] K     Wow... She must've read up on them. [06:53] K     She did her homework... all for today's date. [06:59] K     Enough already. [07:03] K     Seriously, what is that gonna achieve? [07:07] K     Is that just your professionalism?     It's meaningless! [07:10] K     Not like these relationships     last more than a day! [07:12] C     Hey, what's gotten into you, Kazuya-kun? [07:15] K     You just break up immediately! [07:18] K     It doesn't matter how much     you care for your partner! [07:27] C     Let's get out of here. [07:32] K     I know that was stupid... [07:36] K     But I got it off my chest! [07:40] K     Why do all these girls     get into fake relationships [07:43] K     with people they don't even like?! [07:53] C     Okay, look... [07:55] C     What is wrong with you? Are you stupid?! [07:57] C     Yelling like that in a public place...     Way to get everyone's eyes on us! [08:00] C     What's your problem, anyway? [08:02] C     All day you've been like, "Don't you feel     empty inside?" and "We're total strangers!" [08:05] C     Seriously, are you stupid? [08:06] K     U-Uh... [08:07] C     I'm your rental girlfriend!     This is just how it works! [08:11] C     Weren't you the one who made the request?! [08:13] C     You saw the user agreement     and clicked "I agree," didn't you?! [08:16] K     I did... I'm sorry. [08:17] C     Also, why did you give     me a one-star review?! [08:21] C     Did I do anything wrong on our date?! [08:24] C     That brought my rating down     a whole 0.3 points, you know! [08:27] C     I'd only ever gotten     five-star reviews before that. [08:30] K     Here we go. [08:30] C     And I'm proud of that fact! [08:31] K     This is the real Mizuhara Chizuru. [08:32] C     I've always given this job     my all, including this date. [08:35] C     I don't even like fish, but I went and     bought a book about them for this date, [08:36] K     She's a completely different person than before. [08:38] C     and this is how you treat me?! [08:40] K     All I can say for sure is... [08:42] C     Could you not get in the way of my work? [08:44] C     I can't believe you! [08:45] C     Ugh, this sucks! Guess I'm getting     another one-star review! SIGN    I'm sorry... [08:49] K     I'm totally in the wrong. [08:50] C     So, what now? [08:53] C     Do you want to continue? [08:54] Sign     We      still have time. [08:55] C     I'll tag along if you want to keep going. [09:01] K     Hello? What? [09:03] C     Hey! We're not done talking here! [09:04] K     What? Seriously? [09:06] K     Got it! [09:10] K     My grandma collapsed... [09:12] C     Huh? [09:13] K     I gotta go! [09:15] C     H-Hey! [09:17] C     You still have time left! [09:21] Sign     Itabashi Third Hospital [09:25] Nagomi     It's not such a big deal. I only fainted. [09:28] Harumi     But of course we would worry, Mother!     Your health is important! [09:33] Kazuo     Mom, you need to realize that     you aren't young anymore. [09:36] Kazuo     We do have a shop to run... [09:38] Kazuo     And this isn't the first time     you've been hospitalized. [09:41] N     Does this room have Wi-Fi? [09:43] H     The phone is probably a bad idea... [09:45] Kaz     I'll get you some magazines for senior citizens! [09:47] H     Would you like something soft to eat? [09:49] N     Don't act like I'm on my last legs! [09:51] N     Anyway, [09:53] N     who might that young lady be? [09:55] H     I brought her in because she was with Kazuya. [09:58] H     Are you his classmate from college? [10:01] C     E-Er... [10:03] H     You couldn't be his girlfriend, right? SIGN    hahaha SIGN    Not happening     with Kazuya. SIGN    We are talking     about Kazuya here. SIGN    Kazuya SIGN    Kazuya SIGN    Kazuya [10:06] Kaz     No way, honey. This is Kazuya we're talking about. [10:08] H     Right. It's Kazuya. [10:12] N     Kazuya? [10:17] K     G-Girlfriend... [10:20] K     She's my girlfriend! [10:36] C     It's a pleasure to meet you. [10:37] C     My name is Mizuhara Chizuru. SIGN    Rent-a-Girlfriend [10:43] C     It's a pleasure to meet you. [10:44] C     My name is Mizuhara Chizuru. [10:51] K     Perfect. [10:53] C     It's a shame I had to introduce myself     under such circumstances, [10:57] C     but I'm glad to meet you all nonetheless. [11:02] N     Get me discharged! [11:04] Bo     What?! [11:06] N     We need to get home and prepare for a party! SIGN    Rip SIGN    Rip SIGN    Can we really manage     a full-scale welcome party?! [11:09] Kaz     Don't be absurd, Mom! [11:09] Sign     You should get     other tests done     while you're here! [11:11] N     Listen to yourself! [11:13] N     Kazuya's brought home     a real hale and hearty hottie! [11:15] C     H-Hale and hearty hottie?! [11:15] Sign     Hale and hearty     hottie!? [11:17] N     Can you believe it? Our Kazuya... [11:19] Kaz     Mom! [11:20] N     He has such a beautiful girlfriend!     Do you have any idea what this means?! [11:24] N     Our Kazuya, of all people! [11:27] N     After showing no signs of anything resembling     a love life for twenty whole years... [11:32] N     Kazuya... Our Kazuya has... [11:39] Kaz     We're heading back to the store.     Watch over her, Kazuya. [11:43] K     Sure. [11:44] Kaz     And make sure you walk     your girlfriend back, okay? [11:46] H     Chizuru-san, come visit our home sometime. [11:50] C     Thank you. [11:54] N     By the way, you two... [11:56] N     Have you had sex already? [11:59] K     Gran! [12:00] N     Physical compatibility matters     a lot in a marriage. [12:04] K     M-Marriage? [12:06] C     Kazuya-san and I have talked about it. [12:09] C     We both want to take these things seriously. [12:13] C     He's your family's eldest son, so we wanted     to hold off until we had your approval. [12:18] K     Her ad-libbing skill is on point! [12:22] N     Do it! You have my permission! [12:24] N     Day or night, whenever! As much as you want! [12:26] K     Gran! [12:29] C     If you say so... [12:32] C     I guess we could. [12:32] Sign     This is an act [12:33] K     This is an act! [12:35] K     This is an act! It's all an act! [12:37] N     Oh, right! Let me go get the other old girls! [12:41] C     Others? [12:42] N     They asked me to introduce my     grandson's girlfriend if he ever got one! [12:46] C     Hey, what's going on here? [12:47] Sign     You didn't mention     any of this! [12:49] K     Oh, this is the third time     she's been hospitalized here. [12:51] Sign     Sucks, right? [12:53] K     It seems she's made quite a few friends here. [12:55] C     What do I do? This is bad! [12:57] K     Why are you panicking? [12:58] Sign     Did I do     something wrong? [13:00] C     She's here... [13:03] C     My grandma's an in-patient at this hospital, too. [13:07] K     What?! [13:08] C     I haven't told her anything     about the rental girlfriend job. [13:12] K     Isn't that really bad news? [13:14] C     That's exactly what I said! [13:16] C     Anyway, I need to get out of here! [13:18] K     Hey... [13:19] N     Follow me, everyone. [13:21] N     She's a real babe, I tell you! [13:23] N     I've never seen a girl that hot! [13:24] K     Crap! They're here! [13:26] C     This way! [13:27] N     Try not to collapse in shock, Tanaka-san. [13:32] Tanaka     I'll be just fine! [13:34] N     The rest of you watch out for heart attacks, too! [13:36] Old     I can't wait... [13:37] N     Huh? They're gone. [13:38] K     A vacant room? [13:39] N     They were here just a minute ago! [13:41] N     It's true! Believe me! [13:42] Old     We're not doubting you, Kinoshita-san. [13:42] C     It's only a matter of time     before they find us here. [13:44] N     They can't have gone too far. [13:46] K     Wanna exit through the window? [13:46] Old     Let's look for them! [13:48] C     We're on the fifth floor, you know. SIGN    Fifth floor     (15m high) [13:49] K     Then what do we do? [13:51] C     We'll have to leave one at a time. [13:53] K     You go first and distract them. [13:56] C     I'll use that chance to get outside. [13:59] K     Distract them? How? [14:01] C     Figure that out yourself! [14:02] N     Did anyone check this room? [14:04] Old     I thought that room was unoccupied. [14:07] N     Let's check it just in case. [14:09] K     Th-They're coming! [14:11] C     Get over here! [14:16] N     Not here, either? [14:19] N     Where art thou, Chizuru? [14:23] N     Kazuya? [14:23] K     Hey, what's the big idea?! [14:26] C     Keep it down, stupid! [14:28] K     Easy for you to say! [14:32] K     This is... [14:34] K     the biggest crisis of all! [14:41] C     What in the world is wrong with you?! [14:43] K     Nothing! It's not my fault! [14:45] K     It's a natural response for     any twenty-year-old guy! [14:50] C     Get it back down right now! [14:52] K     I can't, okay? I just can't! [14:55] C     If you keep it up, I'll report you to the agency. [14:59] K     Don't move! You're making it worse! [15:01] N     Uh... [15:03] N     Are you all right? [15:08] C     I... [15:09] C     I'm fine, thank you. [15:11] N     That's good. [15:12] N     If I may ask, have you seen      a young couple around? [15:17] C     I-I heard them talking about     leaving the hospital. [15:22] N     Really? Thank you! [15:24] N     The targets are outside! [15:29] K     Looks like she's gone. [15:31] C     Yeah... [15:39] K     This range is l-lethal... [15:43] K     What a slender... [15:45] K     and soft... body! [15:50] K     Wait, right now... [15:55] K     She's my girlfriend, isn't she? [16:00] C     Like hell! [16:10] C     What are you thinking? [16:11] C     Don't forget that I'm just a rental girlfriend! [16:13] C     Hell could freeze over, and I still     wouldn't be yours for real! [16:19] Sayuri     Chizuru? [16:21] Sayuri     Is that you, Chizuru? [16:28] C     Grandma... [16:33] N     What's the matter, Ichinose-san? [16:35] N     Kazuya! [16:37] Sa     What? So this is Kazuya-kun? [16:40] Sa     You mean your grandson's girlfriend is Chizuru? [16:44] K     Are you serious?! [16:46] Sa     Chizuru is my granddaughter. [16:49] K     I shouldn't make this worse for her! [16:53] K     Sorry, Gran! [16:55] K     I don't really have a girl— [16:58] C     What? [17:00] C     Kazuya-san's grandmother and mine are friends? [17:05] C     What a coincidence!     Like it was written in the stars! [17:09] C     Or something... SIGN    Ichinose Sayuri [17:11] K     I don't believe it. [17:13] K     To think Chizuru was your     granddaughter, Ichinose-san! [17:18] Sa     I don't believe it, either. [17:20] N     But it all makes sense now. [17:22] N     Of course your granddaughter would     be a bombshell in every possible way! [17:28] Sa     Oh, please. [17:29] Sa     I can also rest easy if Chizuru is     dating your grandson, Kinoshita-san. [17:34] K     Here's hoping we go from friends     to family when they get married. [17:38] C     Likewise. [17:39] K     Say no to collusion! [17:49] K     Sorry... I made you lie for me. [17:53] C     It's fine. [17:54] C     Lots of clients want to     introduce me to their family. [17:58] K     Really? [18:01] C     Anyway, it's partly my fault     for keeping this job a secret. [18:06] C     Let's just tell them we broke up. [18:09] C     That's the best option. [18:16] K     Yeah. [18:19] K     My family runs a store called "Nagomi Sake." [18:24] K     It was started in my granddad's time, [18:26] K     and now my dad and mom run it. [18:29] K     Even after my granddad died early, [18:31] K     my gran kept it running, despite having     debts and my dad to worry about. [18:35] K     So, to our family, my gran's like a goddess. [18:41] K     And it's our goddess's wish that     I find someone nice before she dies. [18:48] K     I'm a real grandma's boy, so I want     to grant her wish before she goes. [18:55] K     I had a girlfriend for a month, recently. [18:59] K     When I asked her to meet my gran, she refused. [19:02] K     And ultimately, she dumped me. [19:05] K     It was out of desperation     that I pressed that button [19:08] K     and rented you. [19:10] K     Lame as hell, right? [19:12] K     What am I, a rabbit? [19:15] K     One that dies if it gets lonely. [19:19] C     There's no one alive who doesn't get lonely. [19:23] C     Just a lot of people good at hiding it. [19:25] C     They all fill the void in their heart      with work or significant others. [19:32] K     I'll apologize to my gran... [19:34] K     and introduce a real girlfriend to her someday. [19:39] K     I'll figure it out myself. [19:42] K     After all, there's no way to     get your true self on rental. [19:53] Sign     S     l     a     p [19:55] K     Ow... [19:57] K     What was that for?! [19:58] C     That was corny as hell! Gross! [20:00] C     Could you please not drag me into your     embarrassingly self-absorbed soliloquy? [20:04] K     Y-You're one to talk,     with the corny act you put on every day! [20:09] C     Hey, I do it for work.     Corny is perfectly fine by me. [20:16] K     Hey, uh... Sorry about everything today. [20:20] K     And thanks. [20:23] C     I'm no different.     I want to make my family happy, too. [20:27] C     But... [20:30] C     I just can't quit this job right now. [20:39] C     I don't want anything like     today's date ever again, [20:42] C     but whenever you find yourself     feeling like a rabbit, [20:45] C     feel free to call me. [20:51] K     Nah. [20:52] K     I doubt I'll see Mizuhara Chizuru ever again. [20:57] K     I won't turn to her anymore. [21:00] K     I'm done with pretend dating forever. SIGN    Aquarium Lad SIGN    Zero complaints! The cutest, hottest,          most fashionable, and greatest          girlfriend ever! [21:19] C     That dork. [21:21] K     And this is where my real story begins. [21:30] K     The story of my precarious, [21:34] K     yet optimistic campus life. [21:38] G     Yo, Kazuchin. [21:40] G     How many times did you jerk it yesterday? [21:42] K     The story of my rueful virgin life starts now! [21:47] K     Three times! [21:50] G     Whoa, hardcore! [21:51] G2     Virgins gonna virgin! [21:53] G     Right back at ya. SIGN    Rent-a-Girlfriend SIGN    Rent-a-Girlfriend [23:57] K     The anime's finally airing, huh, Mizuhara? [24:00] C     Right, Kazuya-kun! [24:01] K     K-Kazuya-kun? [24:03] C     I'm so glad I get do the preview     in episode one with you! [24:07] K     Uh... Are you in rental girlfriend mode right now? [24:11] C     Of course. Mind if we get     the formalities out of the way? [24:14] C     You'll have to pay the base fee, the choice fee, [24:17] C     and an extra fee for a     30-second preview, totaling— [24:19] K     O-On the next episode of Rent-a-Girlfriend: [24:21] K     "Ex-Girlfriend... [24:22] C     ...and Girlfriend." SIGN    "Ex-Girlfriend and Girlfriend" [24:23] Ma     You've sure got it rough, Kazu-kun.