# E9 - Shinobu Mail, Part Three
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GRQ4Q9ZGY/shinobu-mail-part-3)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:01] ---**
THE LEFT HALF IS A MONKEY
**[00:02] ---**
THE RIGHT HALF IS A CRAB
**[00:03] ---**
THIS ISN'T A MONKEY-CRAB WAR, NO
**[00:04] ---**
A MONKEY-CRAB FUSION
**[00:14] ---**
RIDDLE
**[00:18] ---**
I'LL GO FROM THE RIGHT
**[00:19] ---**
ARARAGI-SENPAI, YOU GO FROM THE LEFT
**[00:20] ---**
Y-YEAH
**[00:22] ---**
Araragi-senpai, let's go!
**[00:24] ---**
S-Sure!
**[00:26] ---**
"BECAUSE I'M LEFT-HANDED,
**[00:28] ---**
SOMETIMES I MISTAKE LEFT AND RIGHT,"
WAS SOMETHING KANBARU DEFINITELY SAID—
**[00:38] ---**
FOR SOME REASON,
SHE WAS SITTING ON THE SWINGS.
**[00:41] ---**
WHY IS IT THE MOMENT AN APPARITION
SHOWS UP CHASING AFTER HER,
SHE STARTS PLAYING ON THE PLAYGROUND?
**[00:43] ---**
NOT ONLY IS IT UNUSUAL,
IT'S ABSURD, ISN'T IT?
**[00:52] ---**
CRAB
**[01:10] ---**
MY ENTIRE BODY IS CREAKING.
**[01:12] ---**
Wait up, master!
**[01:17] ---**
Use this.
**[01:21] ---**
Use it!
**[01:23] ---**
*The demon sword, "Kokoro Watari"...*
**[01:25] ---**
There's no need to hesitate.
**[01:27] ---**
That thing is an apparition,
but it's also not an apparition.
**[01:30] ---**
It's something bad,
in a state before it turns into an apparition.
**[01:32] ---**
No harm will be done by slaying it.
**[01:36] ---**
*In the first place,
this sword is not the original,*
**[01:40] ---**
*but a certain person used his own flesh and blood,
and slaved away to create it.*
**[01:45] ---**
After all, without a blade,
an armor-clad samurai feels incomplete!
**[01:49] ---**
In the end, it's been 400 years
since I lent it to her.
**[01:57] ---**
Kanbaru! Out of the way!
**[02:10] ---**
SNAKE
**[02:13] ---**
Araragi-senpai! Look out!
**[02:15] ---**
A snake... Jagirinawa?
**[02:24] ---**
Ka ka!
**[02:25] ---**
Well done, I guess?
**[02:36] ---**
Sixty-two points.
**[03:38] ---**
OWARIMONOGATARI
**[03:39] ---**
SHINOBU MAIL, PART THREE
**[03:43] ---**
That was almost a perfect test
of your prowess, wasn't it?
**[03:46] ---**
Actually, it looks like its specs
were lower than what it used to be.
**[03:50] ---**
When the monkey came up against me by itself,
it was controlling rain.
**[03:55] ---**
That was a troublesome skill.
**[04:09] ---**
Are you all right?
**[04:11] ---**
Are you hurt anywhere?
**[04:17] ---**
I'm not hurt anywhere.
**[04:19] ---**
This is warm.
It smells like you, Araragi-senpai.
**[04:23] ---**
Um, can you not say stuff
that sounds like it's from a romantic comedy?
**[04:26] ---**
But is it okay for me
to be the one wearing this?
**[04:29] ---**
Well... Even in midsummer, standing like this
in the middle of the night can get a bit chilly.
**[04:35] ---**
Well then, hold on just a second.
**[04:40] ---**
Wear this.
**[04:46] ---**
I'm really sorry, Kanbaru.
To rope you into something like this.
**[04:50] ---**
In the first place, fighting is forbidden
for basketball players, right?
**[04:54] ---**
You repeat yourself too much, Araragi-senpai.
**[04:56] ---**
If you keep apologizing
so many times like that,
**[04:58] ---**
it makes me doubt
if you really feel bad about all of it.
**[05:05] ---**
Hey, Shinobu.
**[05:14] ---**
Well then. Now, master...
Time to continue the story.
**[05:17] ---**
Continue? Let's see...
what were we talking about?
**[05:21] ---**
I was talking about the pairing, master.
**[05:24] ---**
We were discussing how we needed to recover
the pairing between you and me.
**[05:29] ---**
Otherwise, we'll have a hard time,
even against a defective apparition like that.
**[05:35] ---**
But what does that have to do
with being under the swings?
**[05:39] ---**
As for recovering the pairing...
well, we need to ask some specialist about that.
**[05:43] ---**
You know... For things like this,
experience is the best teacher.
**[05:47] ---**
You should go over there
and lie down in that exact location.
**[05:52] ---**
If you do, there will be things
that you'll gain sight of. Now, let's go!
**[06:10] ---**
*Man, this is totally scary!
Scarier than an apparition! What is this?*
**[06:14] ---**
*What in the world did Shinobu want me to do,
sending me to a land like this?*
**[06:19] ---**
*What did she want me to understand?*
**[06:22] ---**
*A bit late now, but I think
the phrase Shinobu wanted to use*
**[06:26] ---**
*wasn't "Experience is the best teacher,"*
**[06:29] ---**
*but, "A picture is worth a thousand words."*
**[06:38] ---**
CHANGE —> NORTH SHIRAHEBI SHRINE
**[06:47] ---**
"Once I've recovered a bit more,
**[06:49] ---**
I'll come see her to regain
my cherished demon sword 'Kokoro Watari'!
**[06:53] ---**
In the end, it's been 400 years
since I lent it to her.
**[06:56] ---**
Tell her that she should prepare herself
for the late fees!"
**[07:00] ---**
Is that what that samurai said?
**[07:03] ---**
Yeah. And after that,
he took off, laughing boisterously.
**[07:07] ---**
In what way?
**[07:09] ---**
I mean, how did this being laugh?
**[07:12] ---**
Recreate it.
**[07:13] ---**
*Recreate it, you ask?
That's more or less asking for the impossible.*
**[07:31] ---**
It was something like that.
**[07:35] ---**
Shinobu, could it be...
**[07:37] ---**
Don't worry about it.
**[07:39] ---**
That's impossible.
It's nothing more than a lie.
**[07:41] ---**
A-A lie? But...
**[07:46] ---**
That man died 400 years ago.
**[07:50] ---**
I saw it clearly with my own eyes.
**[07:52] ---**
Even if heaven and earth flip,
even if night becomes day,
**[07:56] ---**
that is one thing
that can't be mistaken.
**[07:58] ---**
It's so stupid
it's not even worth discussing.
**[08:02] ---**
No, but wait, Shinobu...
**[08:04] ---**
If it is the case that this samurai
is pretending to be him,
**[08:07] ---**
it must be due to
something he's planning.
**[08:12] ---**
His objective may be to get myself
or you feeling uneasy.
**[08:16] ---**
That's why you shouldn't worry about it.
It's inevitable.
**[08:19] ---**
No matter what the objective is,
that demon sword, the Apparition Killer...
**[08:26] ---**
I don't intend to hand it over to anyone.
**[08:28] ---**
If he says that he's the mastermind behind
that menagerie that started with the monkey,
**[08:32] ---**
next time, I will personally slay him.
**[08:35] ---**
And I have nothing more to say about that.
**[08:49] ---**
Hey, Koyomin.
I'm glad we finally got to meet up.
**[08:55] ---**
ULTRA ABSOLUTE SUPER RARE
**[08:58] ---**
Well, that's the end.
**[09:01] ---**
A quick message to Yotsugi...
**[09:03] ---**
Saying I safely met up
with Koyomin and company.
**[09:06] ---**
This is why I made her carry
a cellphone for children.
**[09:10] ---**
It seems that doll wasn't herself
with regard to worrying about your well-being.
**[09:15] ---**
It seems... Or rather,
it's pretty obvious if one looks at your face.
**[09:19] ---**
Face?
**[09:20] ---**
Koyomin is in high spirits.
**[09:22] ---**
Sent.
**[09:22] ---**
SEND
**[09:25] ---**
Okay, sorry to make you wait.
**[09:27] ---**
Hello, Ms. Shinobu Oshino,
Ms. Suruga Kanbaru.
**[09:37] ---**
I'm Izuko Oshino.
**[09:39] ---**
You are familiar...
**[09:42] ---**
...with Oshino Meme. I'm his little sister!
**[09:47] ---**
*To the lie that was told so audaciously,
I was at a loss of words.*
**[09:52] ---**
NO, THAT'S NOT IT.
**[09:53] ---**
YOUR LAST NAME IS GAEN, RIGHT?
**[09:59] ---**
Oh, to think that the Hawaiian-shirt boy
had a younger sister.
**[10:03] ---**
Now that you mention it,
there is a resemblance.
**[10:06] ---**
*Shinobu was fooled.*
**[10:11] ---**
I get that a lot!
**[10:13] ---**
Yeah. It seems my pitiful big brother
caused you guys a lot of trouble.
**[10:16] ---**
I'm sorry about that.
**[10:20] ---**
I'm Suruga Kanbaru.
**[10:22] ---**
My occupation is Araragi-senpai's...
**[10:25] ---**
...sex slave!
**[10:26] ---**
You... really use that profile
to describe yourself to everyone?
**[10:31] ---**
I see, a sex slave, huh?
**[10:33] ---**
It's so nice to be as young
as you are uninhibited!
**[10:37] ---**
Well then, let's get to the main subject, folks.
**[10:41] ---**
I'm talking about business.
**[10:42] ---**
First off, tell me the tales
of your adventures leading up to here.
**[10:48] ---**
Tell me your entire story,
down to the finest detail.
**[10:52] ---**
Big Sister here loves hearing stories
about someone else's life.
**[10:57] ---**
*Coming this far,
there was no reason to gloss over things.*
**[11:00] ---**
*I told her of tonight's events,
just as they happened.*
**[11:04] ---**
It really shows that you're used
to telling stories, Koyomin.
**[11:06] ---**
That was very interesting.
**[11:08] ---**
It's as if you were a professional storyteller.
**[11:10] ---**
HANDSOME MAN (KOUDANSHI)
**[11:10] ---**
A handsome man
being a professional storyteller.
**[11:11] ---**
PROFESSIONAL STORYTELLER (KOUDANSHI)
**[11:12] ---**
That's what it is.
**[11:17] ---**
I'll start with my conclusion.
**[11:18] ---**
That armor-clad samurai, 400 years ago,
**[11:21] ---**
is the first minion that Shinobu's previous self,
the legendary vampire,
**[11:24] ---**
a rare species, the iron-blooded, hot-blooded,
and cold-blooded vampire,
**[11:29] ---**
the Apparition Killer
and King of Apparitions,
**[11:31] ---**
Kiss-shot Acerola-orion Heart-under-blade,
created by drinking his blood.
**[11:38] ---**
In other words, Koyomi Araragi,
you became the second minion
**[11:42] ---**
when Shinobu drank your blood
back during spring break.
**[11:45] ---**
So he would be your senior.
**[11:47] ---**
In that he was the original Apparition Killer,
I guess he'd be Shinobu's senior as well?
**[11:57] ---**
Hey, master.
**[11:58] ---**
This one is unbelievably amateurish.
**[12:01] ---**
Is this one really the little sister
of Hawaiian shirt boy?
**[12:05] ---**
Tell her! Tell her, master!
**[12:07] ---**
Be blunt, in a sadistic way!
**[12:10] ---**
Correct this misunderstanding
that this super-novice has!
**[12:13] ---**
S-Sure...
**[12:15] ---**
B-But, Ga—
**[12:17] ---**
Just call me Izuko.
**[12:19] ---**
...Ms. Izuko.
**[12:20] ---**
I'm saying, just Izuko is fine.
**[12:22] ---**
But Ms. Izuko, Shinobu's first minion
should already be long dead.
**[12:27] ---**
Shinobu witnessed it firsthand.
**[12:32] ---**
*Despite turning into a vampire,*
**[12:33] ---**
*he exposed himself to the sun
to commit suicide by burning himself.*
**[12:37] ---**
*He burned up, and turned into ashes... So...*
**[12:40] ---**
So... He's no longer here.
There's no way that he can be here.
**[12:45] ---**
It's impossible for that armor-clad samurai
to be Shinobu's first minion.
**[12:51] ---**
Why?
**[12:53] ---**
Well, I said—
**[12:54] ---**
Why? Why do you think it's impossible?
**[12:58] ---**
Araragi-senpai...
**[13:00] ---**
But, if you say that,
isn't he an immortal vampire that can't die?
**[13:06] ---**
That's right, Ms. Suruga Kanbaru.
**[13:08] ---**
As expected from someone
who could animate the Monkey's Paw.
**[13:11] ---**
That's outstanding.
**[13:13] ---**
In other words, although it took him
400 years from his suicide by burning,
**[13:17] ---**
said vampire has fully revived.
**[13:20] ---**
To think he can be revived
even if he's turned into ashes and bones...
**[13:24] ---**
I guess I should say,
as expected from the first minion
**[13:26] ---**
chosen by the legendary vampire,
Kiss-shot Acerola-orion Heart-under-blade.
**[13:34] ---**
Now, please observe.
**[13:36] ---**
As I stated the conclusion first,
**[13:38] ---**
I'll go in order,
and explain chronologically.
**[13:43] ---**
Of course, the sun is the vampire's weakness.
**[13:46] ---**
Even grade-school kids know that.
**[13:49] ---**
Even the iron-blooded, hot-blooded,
and cold-blooded vampire
**[13:53] ---**
Kiss-shot Acerola-orion Heart-under-blade
isn't immune to that.
**[13:58] ---**
Not to mention, her minions as well.
**[14:01] ---**
But it's not an exaggeration...
**[14:03] ---**
The King of Apparitions,
whose name was known worldwide,
**[14:06] ---**
isn't an exception, but merely
outside conventional boundaries.
**[14:08] ---**
The weakness wasn't functioning
as a weakness.
**[14:11] ---**
It's a fact that Koyomin,
back in spring break,
**[14:14] ---**
you burst into flames
basking in sunlight, right?
**[14:17] ---**
But you fully recovered after that as well?
**[14:20] ---**
I know that.
**[14:22] ---**
Something similar happened
to the first minion as well.
**[14:25] ---**
That's what this means.
**[14:26] ---**
Of course, in his case, unlike Koyomin
who mistakenly exposed himself,
**[14:29] ---**
he intentionally exposed himself
to the sun in order to kill himself.
**[14:33] ---**
So it's not an attempted (misui) suicide,
but more like a suicide that missed (misu).
**[14:37] ---**
And of course, it seems it took him
a bit of time to revive.
**[14:41] ---**
Roughly 400 years or so.
**[14:44] ---**
To be more precise, even 400 years
after the missed suicide attempt,
**[14:48] ---**
even now, the first one's body
hasn't fully recovered.
**[14:53] ---**
Koyomin, you must've realized this,
as you've directly dealt with the armor-clad samurai.
**[14:58] ---**
You must've felt that the armor-clad samurai
was getting stronger as time went on.
**[15:02] ---**
But to be precise, he wasn't getting stronger.
**[15:06] ---**
He was recovering.
**[15:07] ---**
His health is taking a turn for the better.
**[15:10] ---**
He is trying to get back
to his complete self.
**[15:13] ---**
The reason why he performed an energy drain
on you and Ms. Suruga Kanbaru is, right,
**[15:18] ---**
to try and fix himself up by eating.
**[15:21] ---**
Just like how Shinobu
ate that imitation apparition
**[15:24] ---**
to recover from being scratched
by that imitation apparition.
**[15:27] ---**
Shall I say you're
an admirable second one, Koyomin,
**[15:31] ---**
since you aided the speedy recovery
of the first one?
**[15:36] ---**
No, wait. I'm not just talking about
what happened tonight.
**[15:40] ---**
I'm saying this based off of you as an individual,
looking at all of your recent behavior.
**[15:45] ---**
You don't understand
what I'm talking about?
**[15:47] ---**
It's fine, you'll understand soon enough.
**[15:50] ---**
On the other hand, I wanted to end it all
before it resulted in something like this.
**[15:57] ---**
I was going to have Yotsugi
take care of it all by herself.
**[16:00] ---**
There ended up being
all sorts of miscalculations.
**[16:03] ---**
The fact that I know everything
doesn't mean that everything will go my way.
**[16:08] ---**
Especially involving you, Koyomin.
**[16:10] ---**
Someone like you that doesn't move
according to logic,
**[16:12] ---**
someone whose activities are unpredictable,
an aberrant youth.
**[16:16] ---**
That's why I took responsibility
for making mistakes in my calculations,
**[16:20] ---**
came all the way out to the front line,
**[16:22] ---**
and that's why I asked you
for your assistance.
**[16:25] ---**
You may be thinking that an ill-spirited big sister
is roping you into some troublesome work.
**[16:34] ---**
But the big sister is, in fact,
giving you a chance.
**[16:37] ---**
The perfect chance to claim responsibility
for happenings you set up.
**[16:42] ---**
Though you may not be convinced
of this right away.
**[16:45] ---**
You may never be convinced of it
in your lifetime.
**[16:49] ---**
But Koyomin,
have you never wondered about it?
**[16:53] ---**
About why, for the past six months,
**[16:55] ---**
you've encountered phenomenon
involving apparitions almost monthly?
**[16:59] ---**
You never thought it strange?
**[17:01] ---**
Why did the legendary vampire
Kiss-shot Acerola-orion Heart-under-Blade
**[17:07] ---**
visit the town you live in during spring break,
instead of anywhere else in this world?
**[17:13] ---**
Was it just a coincidence...
**[17:15] ---**
that a crab girl, a snail girl, a monkey girl,
and a snake girl were all in this town?
**[17:22] ---**
The one that Kagenui, an underclassman
that even I have trouble with, went after...
**[17:27] ---**
Was it just a coincidence that the phoenix apparition
lived right here in this town?
**[17:33] ---**
The cat... Has a slightly special circumstance, though.
**[17:37] ---**
That's probably why the armor-clad samurai
accidentally stomped on the tail of a tiger.
**[17:43] ---**
Well, in that regard,
coincidence has favored you.
**[17:47] ---**
A tiger, huh...
**[17:50] ---**
For the first one,
whose entire body became a fireball,
**[17:54] ---**
flames and blazes
must have been traumatic.
**[17:58] ---**
Of course he'd choose a momentary retreat.
**[18:01] ---**
If you live to meet
Tsubasa Hanekawa again,
**[18:04] ---**
make sure to properly thank her.
**[18:07] ---**
You don't know
what I'm talking about now, either?
**[18:10] ---**
Then you don't have to worry about it for now.
**[18:12] ---**
Your friend is nothing more than a sad girl
who protects you, even if it's unintentionally.
**[18:19] ---**
It seems, Koyomin,
your train of thought is that
**[18:23] ---**
something that happens to you
could happen to anyone else.
**[18:28] ---**
To this train of thought that denies miracles,
I do sense quite a bit of modesty,
**[18:34] ---**
but it has one major flaw.
**[18:37] ---**
FLAW
**[18:38] ---**
A huge flaw that makes you say, "You're wrong,"
to convict someone that thinks you're special.
**[18:49] ---**
I'm sorry I'm saying
so many vague things.
**[18:51] ---**
When faced with a young man
in high spirits like you,
**[18:56] ---**
Big Sister here really wants
to explain the meaning of life.
**[19:02] ---**
If this was Big Brother Meme, he'd probably say,
"You seem to be in good spirits.
**[19:04] ---**
Did something nice happen to you,
or something?" and let it end there, but...
**[19:09] ---**
Resentfully enough, yours truly
isn't as tolerant as that immature man.
**[19:15] ---**
Come to think of it, I promised
to explain chronologically, didn't I?
**[19:19] ---**
Then let's keep that promise.
**[19:21] ---**
In the end, keeping the promise
is the shortest route to getting results.
**[19:29] ---**
First, 400 years ago.
**[19:30] ---**
Currently Shinobu Oshino,
**[19:32] ---**
Kiss-shot Acerola-orion Heart-under-blade,
as a vampire, hadn't made any minions until then.
**[19:39] ---**
But that was when she made her first slave.
**[19:42] ---**
She drank human blood.
**[19:44] ---**
The background story of how she ended up
in that situation can be skipped, right?
**[19:50] ---**
It was already told in another location,
and that is a story of the past.
**[19:54] ---**
For you, and for him.
**[19:58] ---**
Going from being a specialist in defeating
apparitions to someone to be exterminated,
**[20:03] ---**
the first one couldn't
tolerate the circumstances.
**[20:06] ---**
He couldn't face the reality
that he had turned into a monster.
**[20:10] ---**
That was why he chose death for himself.
**[20:13] ---**
He exposed himself to the sun.
**[20:16] ---**
He turned into ashes, and was blown
into the wind and disappeared...
**[20:19] ---**
Or so it seemed.
**[20:20] ---**
Leaving Heart-under-blade all his grudges
**[20:23] ---**
and a replica of the Apparition Killer,
the demon blade "Kokoro Watari"...
**[20:28] ---**
Everyone lived happily ever after.
**[20:30] ---**
As stated earlier,
that's not how things went.
**[20:33] ---**
Even turning to ash,
even becoming nothing, he didn't die.
**[20:36] ---**
He may have disappeared,
but he wasn't eradicated.
**[20:39] ---**
He died, but couldn't fully die.
**[20:42] ---**
He kept living.
**[20:44] ---**
He became nothing,
he became the void, and lived on.
**[20:47] ---**
Taking 400 years, so much time
that one feels overwhelmed and even disgusted,
**[20:53] ---**
he slowly, ever so slowly,
recovered his physical form.
**[20:58] ---**
Each time he recovered,
the sun would burn him.
**[21:01] ---**
Each time he constructed,
he was shattered.
**[21:04] ---**
Even then, he didn't give up,
his will was never bent... And he recovered.
**[21:09] ---**
For an astoundingly long time,
the futile trial-and-error for recovery continued.
**[21:16] ---**
Of course, that first one had turned into ash,
so there shouldn't have been a clear will or anything.
**[21:21] ---**
So such a recovery could be called
the reaction of a living vampire,
**[21:25] ---**
or maybe an involuntary response.
**[21:30] ---**
At that point, it seems more pitiful than futile.
**[21:33] ---**
Continuing a game an infinite amount of times,
but never being able to finish the game.
**[21:37] ---**
Because he inherited the immortality of vampires
in a halfhearted way,
**[21:41] ---**
he wasn't even able to die.
**[21:44] ---**
This was eternal life in its true sense.
**[21:47] ---**
If Yoduru had been there,
**[21:49] ---**
I'm sure she would've done
a splendid job of laying him to rest.
**[21:51] ---**
But this is a story about 400 years ago, after all.
**[21:55] ---**
In any case, repeatedly going through
a closed-circuit reincarnation over and over by himself...
**[22:04] ---**
...he might have done so
for the rest of time.
**[22:08] ---**
The first Apparition Killer
had above-average persistence.
**[22:12] ---**
It was definitely worthy of the fact
**[22:14] ---**
that the legendary vampire chose him
as her first minion.
**[22:18] ---**
With a will that wasn't supposed to be there,
with what little willpower he had,
**[22:21] ---**
he rode the wind as ash.
**[22:24] ---**
Even if he was scattered,
he'd congregate once again.
**[22:26] ---**
Grain by grain, with much persistence...
**[22:29] ---**
By perseverance alone,
he returned to this town.
**[22:35] ---**
That was what happened 15 years ago.