# E8 - The Okawa River Retiree
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GX9UQDND8/the-okawa-river-retiree)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:18] Sama**
How the mighty have fallen.
**[00:21] Hei**
Well, the fever's already gone down.
**[00:25] Hisa**
You really must rest!
**[00:26] Hisa**
Dr. Ryusen told you to take
time in your convalescence.
**[00:33] Sama**
Seeing you laid up sick
is an unexpected delight.
**[00:37] Hisa**
Please call me if you need anything.
**[00:40] Hei**
I will.
**[00:45] Hei**
Is she gone?
**[00:46] Sama**
Yes!
**[00:47] Hei**
Okay! Bring it out!
**[00:53] Hei**
So good!
**[00:55] Sama**
Wine drunk on the sly is the best.
**[00:59] Hei**
And there's more to be
had than just the wine.
**[01:03] Hei**
It's not a party without it.
**[01:06] Sama**
Oh, boy...
**[01:13] Sama**
You sure like your tobacco.
**[01:17] Hei**
It's exceptional when
smoked through this pipe.
**[01:20] Sama**
Is that some kind of special pipe?
**[01:23] Hei**
It's a silver pipe made by the
famous craftsman Goto Heizaemon.
**[01:31] Hei**
My father had it made when he was
serving the magistrate in Kyoto.
**[01:37] Hei**
It's not the fanciest, but on the
underside of the stem... you see?
**[01:42] Sama**
Your family crest?
**[01:45] Hei**
I'm told my father dropped
fifteen ryo on this silver pipe.
**[01:51] Sama**
So it's a memento of your late father.
***SIGN*** The Okawa River Retiree
**[03:03] Sa**
The illness is lasting longer than expected.
**[03:07] Hei**
Don't tell Hisae.
**[03:10] Hei**
I asked Sama for a little indulgence
when he visited the other day.
**[03:13] Sa**
And that caused a relapse?
**[03:16] Hei**
I don't need a lecture.
**[03:17] Hei**
I'm plenty sorry already.
**[03:20] Hei**
I should be better with a
full day's peace and quiet.
**[03:25] Hei**
Sorry, but can you handle
things in the meantime?
**[03:50] Hei**
I've really lost my touch.
**[03:54] Hei**
I never dreamed a cold would
lay me out like this.
**[04:09] Hei**
What a splendid morning!
**[04:11] Hei**
See? I'm much better!
**[04:14] Hisa**
What a turnaround in just one night.
**[04:22] Hei**
Delicious!
**[04:24] Hisa**
You must remain cautious.
**[04:26] Hisa**
Dr. Ryusen advised you
to rest for three months.
**[04:31] Hei**
Don't be stupid.
**[04:32] Hei**
He was obviously joking.
**[04:35] Hei**
You want me to sleep for three months?
**[04:37] Hei**
I'd end up growing mold!
**[04:39] Hei**
Is that what you want?
**[04:40] Hei**
Want to make love to a
husband covered in mold?
**[04:44] Hei**
You might catch the mold, too!
**[04:47] Hisa**
Really, keep your voice down...
**[04:52] Hisa**
By the way, Hisae...
**[04:53] Hisa**
Yes?
**[04:54] Hei**
I have a favor to ask.
**[04:56] Hei**
Could I have a puff?
**[04:58] Hisa**
Tobacco, you mean?
**[05:01] Hei**
What else could I take a puff of?
**[05:05] Hisa**
No.
**[05:06] Hisa**
Dr. Ryusen absolutely forbade it.
**[05:11] Hei**
Is the wife of Hasegawa Heizo
really such an unreasonable woman?
**[05:17] Hisa**
But...
**[05:22] Hisa**
As long as it's only one.
**[05:27] Hisa**
Oh?
**[05:28] Hei**
What is it?
**[05:29] Hisa**
It's gone.
**[05:30] Hei**
What is?
**[05:31] Hisa**
The pipe left you by your father.
**[05:36] Hei**
Search harder.
**[05:39] Hisa**
It is not here.
**[05:40] Hisa**
I saw it when I brought out the
bedding last night, and yet...
**[05:47] Hei**
What? Find it!
**[05:49] Hei**
Keep searching!
**[06:00] Hisa**
What in the world could it mean?
**[06:03] Hei**
Enough.
**[06:05] Hei**
Listen, Hisae...
**[06:07] Hei**
Don't tell anyone about this.
**[06:10] Hisa**
You believe you know who did it?
**[06:12] Hei**
If I'm right, it's very serious.
**[06:16] Hei**
It means a thief infiltrated the house of
the head of the Arson & Theft Department.
**[06:22] Hisa**
Understood.
**[06:29] Hei**
What in the world is going on here?
**[06:44] Sa**
Heading out, sir?
**[06:45] Hei**
I thought I'd take a stroll through town.
**[06:49] Sama**
I'll accompany you.
**[06:51] Hei**
Hanging out with you will
cause another relapse, Sama.
**[06:55] Sama**
Don't be so serious, Tetsu-san.
**[06:58] Sama**
Let's head out and celebrate!
**[07:02] Hei**
That's just what I'm talking about!
**[07:04] Hei**
You'll be the death of me.
**[07:05] Hisa**
What's this about death?
**[07:09] Hei**
Nothing.
**[07:10] Hei**
We'll return soon.
**[07:12] Hisa**
Do take care.
**[07:18] Hei**
I'm exhausted.
**[07:20] Hei**
Let's grab a drink.
**[07:21] Sama**
That's what I've been
waiting to hear, Tetsu-san.
***SIGN*** Boathouse Kaga
**[07:28] Hei**
How about that boathouse, the Kaga-ya?
**[07:31] Sama**
You know it well?
**[07:32] Hei**
No, but it might be more fun.
**[07:37] Hei**
I haven't had a trip down
the Okawa River in a while.
**[07:43] Hei**
Excuse me.
**[07:48] Hei**
Take care of us.
**[07:51] Sama**
Are you sure about this, Tetsu-san?
Our boatman's ancient.
**[07:56] Sama**
He's as wrinkled as a grilled chikuwa.
**[08:04] Hei**
Sama, that boatman could
row us through a tornado.
**[08:12] Hei**
What's your name, sir?
**[08:15] Tomo**
Tomogoro, sir.
**[08:17] Hei**
My name's Kishii Samataro.
**[08:21] Hei**
Remember that.
**[08:22] Hei**
This isn't the last you'll be seeing of me.
**[08:35] Sama**
Could you stop us over there?
**[08:38] Sama**
A relative of my mother's lives there.
**[08:40] Yu**
Yes, sir.
**[08:41] Sama**
Thanks.
**[08:42] Hei**
Take your time.
**[09:21] Tomo**
Sir? Something wrong?
**[09:23] Hei**
Oh... nothing.
**[09:35] Hei**
Thank you for coming.
**[09:37] Hei**
I want to keep this between us.
**[09:39] Kume**
What is it?
**[09:42] Hei**
Near the Shian Bridge is a
boathouse called the Kaga-ya.
**[09:46] Hei**
There's a boatman named Tomogoro there.
**[09:50] Hei**
I want you to find out more about him.
**[09:53] Hei**
Don't give away who you are.
**[09:55] Kume**
Yes, sir.
**[10:01] Oma**
Are you on an investigation?
**[10:03] Kume**
No, it's nothing serious.
***SIGN*** Kaga Boathouse
**[10:15] Kume**
Excuse me!
**[10:17] Kume**
I'd like to rent a boat.
**[10:20] Kume**
I heard you have an amazing boatman.
**[10:25] Kume**
Sir, could I rent—
**[10:29] Tomo**
Is there something on my face?
**[10:34] Kume**
Pops?!
**[10:37] Tomo**
Is that you, Kume-san?!
**[10:40] Kume**
Fancy meeting you here!
**[10:42] Tomo**
That's my line!
**[10:45] Kume**
It's been ten years since we
last ran a robbery together.
**[10:49] Tomo**
I've put all that behind me now.
**[10:52] Kume**
You're working here now?
**[10:55] Tomo**
I'm no longer the thief Hamazaki no Tomozo.
**[10:59] Tomo**
I'm the respectable boatman, Tomogoro!
**[11:03] Kume**
Tomogoro?
**[11:08] Kume**
Have you really gone straight?
**[11:11] Tomo**
Of course I have!
**[11:14] Tomo**
So who're you working for now?
**[11:17] Kume**
Three years back, my boss
Chigashira no Tanbei was arrested
**[11:22] ---**
by the Arson & Theft Department,
so I'm unattached now.
**[11:27] Tomo**
Just working freelance, then?
**[11:30] Kume**
Pretty much.
**[11:32] Kume**
But it's been hard to run
jobs in Edo these days.
**[11:36] Kume**
I'm sure you've heard the rumors, too.
**[11:39] Kume**
There's no escaping the eyes of Oni no Heizo
of the Arson & Theft Department.
**[11:47] Tomo**
Back in the old days, I'd never
have been cowed by Oni no Heizo.
**[11:51] Kume**
Oh, yeah?
**[11:52] Tomo**
I could still beat him, even now.
**[11:59] Kume**
What is it?
**[12:01] Tomo**
Kume-san... given our history,
I can trust you with this.
**[12:08] Kume**
What is it?
**[12:09] Tomo**
I've beaten Oni no Heizo.
**[12:15] Tomo**
Hearing all those rumors about "Onihei"
got my old thief's blood roiling again.
**[12:26] Kume**
D-Don't tell me...
**[12:27] Tomo**
It's true!
**[12:30] Tomo**
I recently snuck into his house.
**[12:50] (Flashback) Fb**
I've really lost my touch.
**[12:54] (Flashback) Fb**
I never dreamed a cold would
lay me out like this.
**[13:05] Tomo**
This is the proof!
**[13:12] Tomo**
Oni no Heizo is all talk.
**[13:16] Tomo**
He was fast asleep and barely
even noticed I was there!
**[13:20] Tomo**
If thieves today are intimidated by him,
**[13:21] ---**
it's just a sign of the
sad state of the business!
**[13:28] Kume**
Sir...
**[13:29] Kume**
You saw the face of Oni no Heizo?
**[13:31] Tomo**
It was too dark to make it out, actually.
**[13:37] Tomo**
Kumehachi-dono, I can do all this at age 68.
**[13:42] Tomo**
You could pull a job in the middle of Edo
that'd really make Oni no Heizo's eyes pop!
**[13:53] Hei**
How very amusing.
**[13:55] Kume**
Then it's true?
**[13:59] Kume**
I can't believe Pops did that.
**[14:02] Hei**
I never imagined a thief would try to enter
**[14:05] ---**
the house of the chief of the
Arson & Theft Department.
**[14:08] Hei**
That's why everyone else was asleep.
**[14:13] Kume**
But...
**[14:14] Hei**
For a man of Hamazaki no Tomozo's...
**[14:17] Hei**
Rather, Tomogoro's level...
it's a rather petty thing.
**[14:23] Hei**
But I must admit...
**[14:27] Hei**
It really is a loss of face for Oni no Heizo!
**[14:30] Kume**
I really can't apologize enough.
**[14:33] Hei**
There's nothing to apologize for.
**[14:36] Kume**
Will... Will you be arresting him?
**[14:41] Hei**
Even if it's just a pipe, a theft is a theft.
**[14:47] Kume**
But...
**[14:48] Hei**
You want me to overlook it?
**[14:54] Hei**
I'll think about it over a peaceful drink.
**[15:01] Tomo**
What's the special news you had?
**[15:06] Tomo**
You're creeping me out.
**[15:08] Kume**
Pops, I went in there myself.
**[15:12] Kume**
When you went in,
there were no guards at all.
**[15:17] Kume**
But after you stole Onihei's silver pipe...
this time it was crazy.
**[15:23] Kume**
But I, Kobusa no Kumehachi, unlike an old
man who's been in retirement for ten years,
**[15:29] Kume**
am still a practicing thief.
**[15:31] Kume**
I rose to the challenge.
**[15:41] Kume**
What? If you don't believe me...
**[15:45] Kume**
Look!
**[15:48] Tomo**
It's true.
**[15:49] Kume**
Are you going to let this go unanswered?
**[15:53] Tomo**
Very well.
**[15:54] Tomo**
I'll enter the Arson & Theft Department
chief's house again while it's swarming with guards.
**[16:00] Kume**
Then how about this?
**[16:03] Kume**
I'll sneak in again,
**[16:06] Kume**
and place this seal case back in its drawer.
**[16:10] Kume**
You return the pipe to its cabinet, and
in exchange, get out with the seal case.
**[16:16] Kume**
And then...
**[16:18] Tomo**
Then what?
**[16:19] Kume**
Okay, I'll give you thirty gold ryo!
**[16:24] Tomo**
Really?
**[16:26] Kume**
I'd never lie.
**[16:27] Tomo**
When will you return the case?
**[16:29] Kume**
Tonight.
**[16:32] Kume**
Isn't this funny, Pops?
**[16:34] Kume**
Us old thieving partners,
leading Oni no Heizo around by the nose!
**[16:39] Tomo**
You said it!
**[16:42] Hei**
Inside this drawer, you said?
**[16:45] Kume**
Hasegawa-sama...
**[16:47] Kume**
Please be gentle with him.
**[16:49] Hei**
Don't worry.
**[16:50] Hei**
I won't mention you, either.
**[16:52] Kume**
Sir.
**[16:59] Sa**
Kumehachi's been coming here frequently.
**[17:02] Sa**
A special investigation of some kind?
**[17:04] Hei**
If there were, you would've heard of it.
**[17:08] Hei**
Kumehachi is participating
in a little game of mine.
**[17:24] Kume**
He's coming tonight.
**[17:38] Hei**
*He's arrived.*
**[17:47] Hei**
*Will he look at me as I sleep?*
**[18:15] Hei**
Last night, a thief entered this mansion
and stole my seal case while I slept.
**[18:23] Hei**
If the world were to learn about this...
**[18:26] Hei**
No, if other thieves were to learn of it,
**[18:29] Hei**
my reputation would plummet,
**[18:31] Hei**
and I'd become a laughingstock!
**[18:34] Hei**
Everyone, including me, must be vigilant
in performing their duties at all times!
**[18:39] Hei**
If this happens again, I, Hasegawa Heizo,
will have to retire from my post!
**[18:46] All**
Sir!
**[18:49] Chu**
Boy, what a shock.
**[18:51] Chu**
I can't believe someone broke in here.
**[18:54] Chu**
What are you laughing at?
**[18:56] Chu**
Is our failure that funny?
**[18:59] Kume**
Certainly not.
**[19:01] Chu**
It's not us.
**[19:03] Chu**
The chief was sawing logs and didn't
even notice someone in his bedroom!
***SIGN*** Kaga Boathouse
**[19:18] Tomo**
It was Kishii-sama, wasn't it?
**[19:21] Hei**
You remember me?
**[19:35] Hei**
Has something happened worth celebrating?
**[19:38] Hei**
Got yourself a young girlfriend?
**[19:40] Tomo**
Certainly not.
**[19:41] Tomo**
I'm pushing seventy, you know.
**[19:45] Hei**
The misty moon of spring...
**[19:48] Tomo**
But I'm afraid it'll rain tomorrow.
**[19:52] Hei**
Why would you say that?
**[19:53] Hei**
The moon is out.
**[19:55] Tomo**
The retiree of the river
knows better than the moon.
**[19:59] Hei**
The retiree of the river?
**[20:02] Tomo**
Look, over there.
**[20:03] Tomo**
He's about to come out!
**[20:08] Tomo**
Hey, Retiree! It's been a while!
**[20:26] Tomo**
Hey, Retiree! You're holding up well.
**[20:33] Tomo**
Sir, Retiree there has lived in the
river for seventy or eighty years.
**[20:39] Hei**
I see...
**[20:40] Tomo**
He and I have been friends
since we were young.
**[20:44] Tomo**
He can tell the voices
of the boatmen he likes,
**[20:47] Tomo**
and he sometimes shows himself for us.
**[20:53] Tomo**
See you later, Retiree!
**[20:56] Hei**
Carp really are monsters
when they get that big.
**[20:59] Tomo**
You said it!
**[21:02] Hei**
That was a true delight to see.
**[21:04] Hei**
As a gesture of thanks,
can I buy you a drink?
**[21:09] Hei**
Here you are.
**[21:11] Tomo**
Me first? Why, thank you so much.
**[21:14] Hei**
I'm about to bring out the good stuff.
**[21:16] Hei**
Let's take it slow.
**[21:18] Tomo**
I've never met a samurai so down-to-earth.
**[21:21] Tomo**
I assumed you were just some wealthy ronin.
**[21:24] ---**
What exactly are you doing here?
**[21:26] Hei**
Well... I wanted to hear
some of your old stories.
**[21:32] Tomo**
Don't be ridiculous. I don't have
any old stories worth telling.
**[21:37] Hei**
Don't you?
**[21:49] Hei**
Pops...
**[21:51] Hei**
Is that ryo enough to buy back my seal case?
**[21:54] Hei**
The pipe and the seal case are
both mementos of my late father.
**[21:58] Hei**
They're irreplaceable to me.
***SIGN*** Next Time
**[23:42] Hei**
Heizo meets a man who
will change his destiny.
**[23:45] Hei**
A man he'll never forget.
**[23:50] ---**
Next time on *Onihei*:
***SIGN*** Parting
**[23:51] ---**
"Parting."