Season 1

E1 - The Eccentric Driver

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:53] News
    And now for the news.
[01:55] News
    A high school girl has gone
    missing in Nerima City, Tokyo.
SIGN    Tea
SIGN    High School Student Goes Missing in Nerima
[02:00] News
    She has been unreachable
[02:01] News
    since she left her home late
    at night on the 4th of this month.
[02:04] News
    The police believe she may
    have been involved in an incident.
[02:09] Shibagaki
    We, the Homosapiens, just received
    the results of Round 1 of the N-1.
SIGN    Oral Medicine
     Odokawa
[02:14] Baba
    And would you believe it? We passed!
[02:15] Shibagaki
    Of course we did.
[02:16] Shibagaki
    Even amateurs could make it past Round 1.
[02:18] Shibagaki
    Where do you think the finish line is?
[02:20] Baba
    But last year, we failed in Round 2.
[02:22] Shibagaki
    After ten years in the business,
    I can't believe we suffered that indignity.
SIGN    The Eccentric Driver
[02:24] Shibagaki
    Crap. Just thinking about it pisses me off.
[02:26] Baba
    Now, now...
[02:27] Shibagaki
    Seriously, why? Those judges have
    no idea what they were talking about.
[02:29] Baba
    Don't start.
[02:30] Shibagaki
    I smell collusion.
SIGN    Privately-Owned Taxi
[02:32] Shibagaki
    In the first place, why are we being judged
    by guys who are less funny than us?
[02:35] Baba
    Hey, look! Uh, we've received some fan mail.
[02:37] Baba
    It's from high school student
    Satoshi Nagashima-kun from Tokyo.
[02:40] Baba
    "Good evening. I went to see Round 1."
[02:43] Baba
    "Simply put, your jokes aren't funny."
SIGN    Good Luck Charm
SIGN    Safe Driving
[02:47] Baba
    "A whole minute passed before
    you made your first joke."
[02:49] Baba
    "Then you failed to follow up on it while
    making the same jokes over and over again,
[02:53] Baba
    resulting in waves of uneasy laughter."
[02:55] Baba
    "Just watching you guys made me anxious."
[02:58] Baba
    "You should come up with better jokes
    more appropriate for a prize competition."
[03:02] Shibagaki
    Who the hell is this guy?
[03:03] Baba
    Moving on! Let's listen to some music.
[03:05] Baba
    This is Mystery Kiss' debut single,
    "Supernatural Love Phenomenon."
[04:27] Odokawa
    Where to?
[04:29] Kabasawa
    Nerima.
[04:42] Kabasawa
    Could you turn off the radio?
[04:45] Kabasawa
    I'm trying to think.
[04:56] Man B
    One more bar.
SIGN    Goo Goo Curry
[05:04] Kabasawa
    Driver, has anything interesting
    happened to you recently?
[05:10] Odokawa
    Interesting? Uh...
[05:23] Kabasawa
    Time's up.
[05:25] Kabasawa
    I'm starting to realize
    I wasn't that interested
[05:27] Kabasawa
    in hearing the answer to my own question.
[05:32] Odokawa
    When someone asks me a question,
    I come up with about five possible answers.
[05:35] Odokawa
    It takes time for me to choose the best
    answer that also won't offend anyone.
[05:42] Odokawa
    I bet you respond quickly with
     whatever pops into your head first,
[05:44] Odokawa
    without considering your answer carefully.
[05:46] Kabasawa
    You've already offended me with your words.
[05:50] Odokawa
    Why'd you ask if anything
    interesting has happened?
[05:53] Kabasawa
    I'm trying to go viral.
[05:54] Odokawa
    Viral?
[05:56] Kabasawa
    I want my posts to be spread
    all over social media.
[06:00] Odokawa
    Why?
[06:01] Kabasawa
    Why? Because my friends have.
[06:05] Odokawa
    You're sure wasting your time
    on pointless shit, huh?
[06:07] Kabasawa
    It's not pointless. It's important.
[06:10] Kabasawa
    Likes and followers
    represent a person's worth.
[06:13] Kabasawa
    They're even used as evaluation
    criteria by job recruiters.
[06:16] Odokawa
    Huh. What kind of posts go viral?
[06:20] Kabasawa
    Posts that make people laugh.
[06:23] Kabasawa
    Emotional posts, refreshing posts
    about poetic justice.
[06:27] Kabasawa
    Also, posts about foreigners'
    perspectives on gender in Japan.
[06:32] Odokawa
    Like what?
[06:33] Kabasawa
    For example...
[06:35] Kabasawa
    "The other day, I overheard this conversation
    take place at the table next to me
SIGN    Taikichi
SIGN    6 hours ago
[06:37] Kabasawa
    while working on a manuscript at Starbucks:
[06:39] Kabasawa
    'Man, I don't want to go to the dentist.'
SIGN    A: "Man, I don't want to go to the dentist."
SIGN    B: "Having lots of cavities is an indication that you're loved.
[06:41] Kabasawa
    'Having lots of cavities is
    an indication that you're loved.'
SIGN    It means your parents fed you mouth-to-mouth
[06:44] Kabasawa
    'It means your parents
    fed you mouth-to-mouth
[06:47] Kabasawa
    or shared a spoon with you
    when you were a kid.'
SIGN    or shared a spoon with you when you were a kid."
SIGN    A: "Seriously?"
[06:50] Kabasawa
    'Seriously?'
SIGN    B: "By the way, I have zero cavities."
[06:51] Kabasawa
    'By the way, I have zero cavities.'
[06:54] Kabasawa
    That exchange between two
    handsome high school boys
[06:56] Kabasawa
    was so overwhelmingly precious
    that I wanted to hug them."
[07:00] Odokawa
    Sounds gross.
[07:02] Odokawa
    It's unnecessary to show off
    that they're a creative
[07:04] Odokawa
    by saying they were writing a manuscript.
[07:05] Odokawa
    Plus, you can practically hear them saying,
[07:07] Odokawa
    "Not only did I witness this amusing scene,
[07:09] Odokawa
    but my retelling of it is so pithy.
    How great is my taste?"
[07:11] Odokawa
    Can't even hide their own vanity. It's gross.
[07:14] Kabasawa
    You're really not afraid
    to hate on stuff, are you?
[07:19] Odokawa
    Well, it's not like you
    can make something up.
[07:22] Kabasawa
    Sure you can. This post is
     probably made up, too.
[07:25] Odokawa
    And you're okay with that?
[07:27] Kabasawa
    Oh! I just got a great idea.
[07:29] Kabasawa
    Driver, could you take
    a selfie of us together?
[07:32] Odokawa
    Will that go viral?
[07:33] Kabasawa
    Just do it.
[07:39] Kabasawa
    Done. Look.
SIGN    Taichi Kabasawa
SIGN    10 seconds ago
SIGN    Hold on lol I was telling my taxi driver that I was having trouble finding a job, so he took my phone and was like, "Check this out; it'll cheer you up," and took a picture of us lmao
SIGN    Hold on lol I was telling my taxi driver that I was having trouble finding a job, so he took my phone and was like, "Check this out; it'll cheer you up," and took a picture of us lmao
[07:50] Odokawa
    That's going to go viral?
[07:52] Kabasawa
    Wholesome posts tend to go viral, too.
[07:54] Kabasawa
    Anyway, you picked up
    the term "viral" quickly.
[07:57] Odokawa
    Shouldn't you blur the faces?
[07:58] Kabasawa
    You mean yours?
[08:00] Kabasawa
    I guess some people
    don't like this kind of thing.
[08:02] Odokawa
    No, yours.
[08:03] Kabasawa
    Why would I blur mine?
[08:05] Kabasawa
    Are you saying I'm deceased
    or that my face is indecent?
[08:22] Kenshiro
    Oh. It's you, Odokawa.
[08:24] Odokawa
    What's that mean?
[08:25] Odokawa
    I've got a passenger. Make it quick.
[08:30] Kenshiro
    Have you seen this guy?
[08:33] Odokawa
    That's odd. Aren't you friends with him?
[08:38] Kenshiro
    I'm asking for convenience's
    sake. Use your head.
[08:40] Koshiro
    What's he mean, Bro?
[08:43] Kenshiro
    Ah, Little Bro. This guy's crazy.
[08:45] Odokawa
    Are we done here?
[08:46] Odokawa
    Can't you brothers wait
    until you're home to argue?
[08:50] Kenshiro
    We're good. Get outta here.
[08:57] Koshiro
    Hey, Bro.
[08:59] Koshiro
    What did he mean when he said you
    and this wanted criminal are friends?
[09:03] Kenshiro
    Listen, Little Bro. Don't listen to a word that
    comes outta that taxi driver's mouth.
[09:08] Koshiro
    Yeah, I mean, he's a taxi driver.
[09:12] Kenshiro
    Yup. That loathsome taxi driver
     tells lies like it's no big deal.
[09:17] Koshiro
    What an awful guy.
[09:19] Kabasawa
    Man, I should've taken a picture of that.
[09:22] Kabasawa
    It looked like something
    you'd see in a drama.
[09:25] Odokawa
    I don't like him.
[09:28] Odokawa
    He's anal about stupid little details.
[09:31] Kabasawa
    You do have a license, don't you?
[09:32] Odokawa
    Yeah. I guessed on the vision test, though.
[09:35] Kabasawa
    That's hardly a minor detail.
[09:36] Kabasawa
    I'm scared, now.
[09:39] Odokawa
    You'll be fine. I've got night blindness.
[09:41] Kabasawa
    That's even worse!
[09:50] Kabasawa
    So, why'd you become a taxi driver?
[10:11] Kabasawa
    Time's up.
[10:15] Kabasawa
    Ah, here is fine.
[10:23] Odokawa
    That'll be 5,610 yen.
[10:25] Kabasawa
    Here's exact change.
[10:26] Odokawa
    Thank you. Don't forget anything in the car.
[10:45] Shibagaki
    If we don't make it
    this year, we're through.
[10:48] Baba
    Are you being serious, Shibagaki-san?
[10:50] Shibagaki
    I've been unsuccessful because
    I've been working with you.
[10:52] Baba
    You can't say that on public airwaves.
[10:55] Shibagaki
    Shut up, you nincompoop.
[10:56] Baba
    Now that's an insult you don't hear often.
[10:59] Baba
    Let's move onto our next segment.
[11:02] Baba
    Cutting through this week's
    news, Shibagaki Eyes.
[11:04] Baba
    Anyway, apparently a high school girl
    has gone missing in Nerima City.
[11:09] Shibagaki
    Scary stuff.
[11:14] Shibagaki
    It'd be nice if she turned up safe.
[11:17] Baba
    Absolutely.
[11:17] [Messenger] Phone
    Public Phone
    Incoming Call
[11:17] Shibagaki
    So, she's still missing?
[11:19] Baba
    Yeah, that's why she's in the news.
[11:21] Kabasawa
    Sorry, Driver. I forgot my phone.
[11:23] Kabasawa
    Could you come back?
[11:24] Odokawa
    I told you not to leave anything in the car.
[11:27] Kabasawa
    Did it go viral?
[11:29] Shibagaki
    I hope she comes back safe.
[11:32] Odokawa
    The notifications won't stop.
[11:35] Kabasawa
    Seriously? It went viral.
[11:37] Shibagaki
    I'm worried, okay? I'm worried about her.
[11:40] Baba
    Right. It's seriously concerning.
[11:41] Shibagaki
    We're worried about you.
[11:42] Baba
    Over in Nerima City, right? Seriously.
[11:44] Baba
    What's going to happen next?
[11:45] Shibagaki
    Well, if they're listening
    to this radio program...
SIGN    Runaway? Kidnapping?
SIGN    High School Girl Missing in Nerima City Unreachable Since Going Out Late at Night
[12:14] Caster
    According to the police, the student
    spoke with her family around 10 P.M.,
[12:19] Caster
    and then left the house.
[12:20] Caster
    A security camera captured her entering
    a taxi after leaving the convenience store
[12:25] Caster
    near her home, where she was shopping alone.
[12:29] Caster
    After this, she went missing,
[12:31] Caster
    and her mother submitted a missing
    persons report to the police on the 6th.
[12:45] Odokawa
    Are you happy?
[12:49] Odokawa
    You can run away whenever you want.
[12:52] Odokawa
    I'm not trapping you in here
    or keeping you tied up.
[12:55] Odokawa
    You chose to stay here.
[13:01] Odokawa
    Why did you come to my place?
[13:05] Odokawa
    Oh, are you hungry?
[13:13] Odokawa
    I'm heading to the clinic now.
[13:16] Odokawa
    I'm working after that,
    so I'll be back late.
[13:20] Odokawa
    You know you can run away anytime, right?
SIGN    Goriki Clinic
[13:26] Goriki
    Well, Odokawa?
[13:28] Goriki
    Have you been sleeping well?
[13:30] Odokawa
    I go to sleep while listening to rakugo.
[13:33] Odokawa
    I've already memorized it, you quack.
[13:35] Shirakawa
    Master Donraku Shofutei's routine?
[13:38] Odokawa
    Yeah. I'm surprised you know about him.
[13:41] Shirakawa
    I've got a Donraku eraser.
[13:44] Odokawa
    A what?
[13:46] Shirakawa
    I don't really understand it myself,
[13:47] Shirakawa
    but it's an original Master Donraku eraser.
[13:51] Odokawa
    Who the hell needs something like that?
[13:54] Shirakawa
    Apparently there's only one
    of them in the whole world.
[13:57] Odokawa
    Why do you have it?
[13:59] Shirakawa
    Well...
[14:02] Shirakawa
    You can have it.
[14:07] Goriki
    Donraku's rakugo builds such
    expansive scenes. It's easy to follow.
[14:11] Odokawa
    Really? I find it more boring than sutras.
[14:16] Shirakawa
    Must be rough if you still can't sleep when
    your mind is free from intrusive thoughts.
[14:19] Goriki
    Hey, Odokawa. What do I look like to you?
[14:23] Odokawa
    A gorilla.
[14:26] Goriki
    You're not wrong.
[14:29] Shirakawa
    Do you listen to rakugo online?
[14:31] Odokawa
    No, I listen to cassette tapes.
[14:34] Shirakawa
    Cassette tapes?
[14:36] Goriki
    Kids these days don't know what those are.
[14:38] Goriki
    They don't know how to rewind them.
[14:40] Odokawa
    No way.
[14:42] Odokawa
    We've never touched one,
[14:44] Odokawa
    but we know about phonographs
    and telephone magnetos.
[14:48] Odokawa
    They're in movies and stuff.
[14:51] Odokawa
    Drop the generation gap crap.
[14:57] Goriki
    Odokawa, why don't you get married already?
[15:01] Odokawa
    You're even more unexpected than
    Bruce Springsteen in "We Are the World."
[15:04] Goriki
    That guy who comes on after Al Jarreau?
[15:07] Shirakawa
    What are you talking about?
[15:08] Odokawa
    Didn't it make you jump
    the first time you heard it?
[15:11] Goriki
    I think Bruce Springsteen
    is the MVP, though.
[15:15] Odokawa
    It's certainly impressive the way he goes
     toe-to-toe with Stevie Wonder
[15:18] Odokawa
    in the second half of the song.
[15:19] Goriki
    But since they filmed separately,
    Bruce Springsteen recorded his part first.
[15:23] Odokawa
    You're drunk on the sound of the name
    "Bruce Springsteen," aren't you?
[15:26] Goriki
    Who doesn't want to say "Bruce Springsteen?"
[15:29] Odokawa
    Try saying Bruce Springsteen
    three times fast.
[15:33] Goriki
    Bruce Springsteen, Brust Springsteen,
     Bruce Springspreen.
[15:36] Odokawa
    You messed up.
[15:38] Goriki
    No, I didn't.
[15:39] Shirakawa
    Doctor.
[15:40] Shirakawa
    Your next patient is waiting.
[15:43] Goriki
    Oh. What was I saying?
[15:45] Goriki
    Right. Maybe you'd sleep better
    if you got married.
[15:48] Odokawa
    I know a concession
    of defeat when I see one.
[15:50] Odokawa
    Are we done here? I'm leaving.
[15:51] Goriki
    Yeah. I'll prescribe you
    a stronger medicine.
[15:54] Goriki
    You've got work now, right?
    Don't take it right away.
[15:56] Odokawa
    I know.
[16:09] Odokawa
    Hey.
SIGN    Goriki Clinic
[16:12] Odokawa
    What are you doing?
[16:13] Kenshiro
    We received information linking you to
     the Nerima missing high school girl case.
[16:19] Odokawa
    How'd you know I'd be here?
[16:21] Kenshiro
    I went to your place.
[16:23] Kenshiro
    Your car wasn't there,
[16:24] Kenshiro
    and I thought about forcing
    your front door open, but...
[16:28] Odokawa
    So, you thought you'd force
    my car door open instead?
[16:31] Kenshiro
    Not if you'll cooperate
    with my investigation.
[16:34] Odokawa
    Is this really an investigation?
[16:37] Odokawa
    Why are you alone?
[16:39] Kenshiro
    It's simple.
[16:40] Kenshiro
    If you've got nothing to hide,
     open your door.
[17:01] Kenshiro
    This dash cam allows you to film
    the inside of your vehicle, doesn't it?
[17:05] Odokawa
    That's right.
[17:05] Kenshiro
    How long do you store your recordings?
[17:07] Odokawa
    It starts recording when
    passengers get in or out of the car,
[17:10] Odokawa
    or if it detects odd movement,
[17:13] Odokawa
    so about two weeks.
[17:16] Kenshiro
    She'll be on here, then.
[17:18] Odokawa
    What?
[17:20] Kenshiro
    That high school girl
    from Nerima got in your car.
[17:24] Odokawa
    My car?
[17:26] Kenshiro
    I'm taking your data. This is a seizure.
[17:30] Kenshiro
    If anything comes up,
    I expect your cooperation again.
[17:34] Kenshiro
    Don't go to the police, though.
[17:38] Odokawa
    What if I do?
[17:40] Kenshiro
    Not sure, but I imagine a wanted
    criminal armed with a gun might kill you.
SIGN    Yamabiko
[18:05] Kakihana
    My back's been hurting recently.
[18:08] Taeko
    Oh, my. Will you be able to
    do your cleaning job?
[18:12] Kakihana
    They'll get the job done
    just fine without me.
[18:15] Kakihana
    From society's perspective, I should
     be thrown out with the trash.
[18:18] Kakihana
    My employers would probably
    prefer someone younger, too.
[18:23] Kakihana
    No one will say anything
    even if I take the day off.
[18:25] Kakihana
    You weren't supposed to laugh.
[18:26] Taeko
    I wasn't?
[18:27] Kakihana
    You're supposed to express support.
SIGN    Profile
    Born: Tokyo
    Education: High School Graduate
    Annual Income: Less Than 3,000,000
    Build: Skinny
    Height: 170cm
SIGN    Looking For Marriage
SIGN    Eiji Kakihana
    41 Years Old, Tokyo
SIGN    Profile
    Born: Tokyo
    Education: High School Graduate
    Annual Income: Less Than 3,000,000
    Build: Skinny
    Height: 170cm
    Days Off: Weekends
    Marriage History: Never Married
SIGN    Education: High School Graduate
    
    Annual Income: Less Than 3,000,000
SIGN    Education: High School Graduate
    
    Annual Income:
SIGN    Education: High School Graduate
    
    Annual Income: 2
SIGN    Education: High School Graduate
    
    Annual Income: 20
SIGN    Education: High School Graduate
    
    Annual Income: 200
SIGN    Education: High School Graduate
    
    Annual Income: 2000
SIGN    Education: High School Graduate
    
    Annual Income: 20,000,000
[18:58] Goriki
    Hey.
[18:59] Taeko
    Doctor, good evening.
[19:02] Goriki
    Beer, please.
[19:08] Goriki
    How are you feeling, Kakihana?
[19:10] Kakihana
    Aside from my back, not bad,
    thanks to you, Dr. Goriki.
[19:14] Goriki
    Odokawa called me a quack.
[19:18] Taeko
    Sounds like something he'd say.
[19:22] Goriki
    Could you guys talk to him, too?
[19:25] Kakihana
    About what?
[19:26] Goriki
    Tell Odokawa to go to a bigger hospital.
[19:30] Taeko
    Is something wrong with him?
[19:33] Goriki
    Don't you think he's strange?
[19:36] Kakihana
    He's always been strange.
[19:38] Kakihana
    He hates people and is sarcastic.
[19:40] Kakihana
    His parents abandoned him.
[19:42] Kakihana
    Of course he's twisted.
[19:44] Goriki
    Not that. It's something
    more... fundamental.
[19:49] Kakihana
    Come to think of it,
    I saw Daimon the other day.
[19:52] Kakihana
    He said something odd.
[19:55] Kakihana
    He thought Odokawa might be involved
    in the Nerima missing person case.
[19:58] Taeko
    Could it be?
[19:59] Kakihana
    He went to question Odokawa's neighbors.
[20:02] Kakihana
    They said they heard
    Odokawa talking to someone
[20:04] Kakihana
    when he supposedly lives alone.
[20:06] Taeko
    Maybe he was on the phone.
[20:08] Goriki
    I heard the police were looking for Dobu.
[20:11] Taeko
    Dobu? You mean that dangerous fellow?
[20:13] Kakihana
    Ma'am, you know about him?
    What makes him dangerous?
[20:15] Taeko
    They say he beat up a group of thugs
[20:18] Taeko
    who got drunk and rowdy at a club by himself,
[20:21] Taeko
    and knocked out an underground
    martial artist with a single blow.
[20:23] Kakihana
    I don't get it.
[20:25] Taeko
    The group that underground martial
    artist belongs to tried to beat up Dobu,
[20:31] Taeko
    but he beat them up instead.
[20:33] Taeko
    I bet biotechnology is the only
    thing that can beat him.
[20:36] Kakihana
    I'm not sure how much of that is true,
[20:38] Kakihana
    but I wouldn't want to
    get involved with him.
[20:40] Goriki
    Either way, that preposterous
    story is hard to believe.
[20:45] Kakihana
    By the way, ma'am, just between us,
[20:48] Kakihana
    I promise I won't get upset,
    so be honest with me.
[20:52] Kakihana
    Would you marry me—
[20:53] Taeko
    No way.
[20:53] Kakihana
    That was quick! Why not?
[20:55] Takeo
    Because...
[20:56] Kakihana
    Is it money? It's always money, isn't it?
[20:59] Taeko
    Money is the product of a person's abilities.
[21:02] Taeko
    Of course it's important.
[21:04] Kakihana
    You don't know true love, ma'am.
[21:06] Goriki
    List off the benefits of marrying you, then.
[21:09] Kakihana
    I pledge to never hit you.
[21:11] Taeko
    Don't list something obvious like it's
    one of the Three Non-Nuclear Principles.
[21:15] Kakihana
    Come on, don't be like that.
[21:17] Taeko
    Aw, it's fine.
[21:20] Goriki
    Hello?
[21:21] Nurse
    Good evening, Doctor.
[21:24] Goriki
    What's wrong?
[21:27] Nurse
    Some medicine is missing.
[21:30] Goriki
    Since when? How much is missing?
[21:33] Nurse
    I don't know when, but some
    more went missing today.
[21:36] Nurse
    Psychotropic drugs. About 6,000 pills.
[21:41] Nurse
    Who was working today?
[21:48] Odokawa
    You're taking a taxi after work?
[21:50] Odokawa
    Nurses must make good money.
[21:53] Shirakawa
    You remember me.
[21:55] Odokawa
    You're the only alpaca around here.
[22:00] Odokawa
    What's so funny?
    Are you laughing to be polite?
[22:03] Odokawa
    I never understand what
    young people are thinking.
[22:06] Shirakawa
    Drop the generation gap crap.
SIGN    Next Time: How To Spend a Long Night
[23:35] Kabasawa
    Do taxi drivers get a lot of girls?
[23:37] Odokawa
    Depends on the person.
[23:39] Kabasawa
    I bet you get some cute
    passengers, like idols.
[23:42] Odokawa
    Sometimes.
[23:44] Kabasawa
    Lucky.
[23:45] Odokawa
    How have you been since then? Gone viral?
[23:47] Kabasawa
    Dude, gimme a break.

E2 - How To Spend a Long Night

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Equator Sauna
SIGN    How To Spend a Long Night
[01:35] Kakihana
    You must be joking.
[01:36] Kakihana
    You traded numbers with Shirakawa-san?
[01:38] Odokawa
    Yeah. The conversation just
    went in that direction.
[01:41] Kakihana
    Shit, I'd curse you to death if I could.
[01:43] Odokawa
    Kill me yourself.
[01:45] Odokawa
    Why be indirect about it?
[01:46] Kakihana
    I know. I bet she just wants
    an easy way to call a taxi.
[01:50] Kakihana
    Skip the pick-up fee, y'know—
[01:51] Odokawa
    Actually, she said she wanted to meet up
    for lunch or dinner on her days off.
[01:55] Kakihana
    Liar.
[01:58] Shibagaki
    Our solo performance was a huge success.
SIGN    Privately-Owned Taxi
[02:02] Baba
    Tickets were sold out.
[02:03] Shibagaki
    I wanna quit my
    part time job already.
[02:05] Baba
    I already quit mine.
[02:06] Shibagaki
    Huh? When you haven't written any jokes?
[02:09] Baba
    My girlfriend takes care of me.
[02:11] Shibagaki
    You're a piece of shit.
[02:12] Baba
    My girlfriend said I could quit.
[02:14] Shibagaki
    Bonnou Illumination formed four years ago,
[02:17] Shibagaki
    and they live in a place
    where rent is 400,000.
[02:19] Shibagaki
    Doesn't that sting?
[02:20] Baba
    Well, it is what it is.
[02:24] Shibagaki
    Why haven't we found any success on TV?
[02:27] Shibagaki
    The other day, I got caught up
    in vanity searching.
[02:29] Baba
    You shouldn't do that.
[02:30] Shibagaki
    I searched for "Homosapiens funny"
    and got hit with
[02:32] Shibagaki
    a storm of "Homosapiens aren't funny."
[02:34] Baba
    You really shouldn't vanity search.
[02:36] Shibagaki
    Comedy requires intelligence
    and culture to understand.
[02:39] Baba
    That's the bare minimum.
[02:41] Shibagaki
    In other words,
    the general public are idiots.
[02:43] Baba
    Here we go again.
[02:44] Shibagaki
    But that doesn't stop them from judging us.
[02:46] Shibagaki
    Keep your mouths shut, idiots.
[02:47] Shibagaki
    Are you listening? Being a creator
    is a one-way street.
[02:50] Shibagaki
    Don't try to get involved.
[02:51] Shibagaki
    Suppressing your own creativity
    in order to cater to society's values
[02:54] Shibagaki
    produces mediocre results. Damn amateurs.
[02:57] Baba
    Isn't responding to consumers'
    needs part of our job, though?
[02:59] Shibagaki
    We're not building household
    appliances here.
[03:02] Shibagaki
    Our opinions should be the priority
[03:03] Shibagaki
    when we're going after
    people's sensibilities.
[03:05] Shibagaki
    It's up to us to decide, "Nah, that wasn't
    quite right. Let's try something else."
[03:09] Baba
    Uh, we've received some fan mail.
[03:11] Baba
    It's from high school student
    Satoshi Nagashima-kun from Tokyo.
[03:13] Shibagaki
    This guy again?
[03:15] Baba
    "Good evening."
[03:16] Baba
    "I went to see the Homosapiens
    solo performance."
[03:18] Baba
    "It's typically fans who attend
    solo performances,
[03:21] Baba
    so it's only natural that
    your audience will laugh."
[03:23] Baba
    "Also, I think it's great that you guys believe
    in your own value and have conviction."
[03:28] Baba
    "However, as professionals,
    I think it's embarrassing for you
[03:31] Baba
    to knock people who don't recognize
    your talent as uncultured amateurs."
[03:36] Baba
    "Only after you've acknowledged
    other perspectives,
[03:38] Baba
    stuck to your guns, and achieved success
[03:39] Baba
    can you call yourselves performers."
[03:42] Baba
    "Don't mistake overconfidence
    for confidence."
[03:45] Baba
    "Also, compared to Bonnou Illumination,
    you're way less charming."
[03:50] Baba
    "P.S. You managed to
    cover it up with your energy,
[03:52] Baba
    but the final joke of your solo show
    isn't funny when written out."
[03:56] Baba
    "Keep at it."
[03:57] Shibagaki
    Someone bring that jerk here.
[03:58] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    Do you feel awkward?
[04:00] (Flashback) Odokawa
    Huh?
[04:02] (Flashback) Odokawa
    I wouldn't say awkward.
[04:05] (Flashback) Odokawa
    I listen to it every week.
    I turned it on out of habit.
[04:09] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    Odokawa-san, why can't you sleep?
[04:13] (Flashback) Odokawa
    I've forgotten how to sleep.
    I can't remember how I used to do it.
[04:18] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    Want to know a secret?
[04:25] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    You count sheep.
[04:26] (Flashback) Odokawa
    You make it sound like
    you came up with it yourself,
[04:28] (Flashback) Odokawa
    but that trick's been around forever.
[04:31] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    Also, I think it's Cyndi Lauper.
[04:33] (Flashback) Odokawa
    What is?
[04:35] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    The MVP.
[04:36] (Flashback) Odokawa
    You watched "We Are the World"?
[04:44] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    Odokawa-san, is there anyone you like?
[04:46] (Flashback) Odokawa
    Nope.
[04:47] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    What a waste.
[04:48] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    Life's more fun when you're in love.
[04:50] (Flashback) Odokawa
    I'm too old for that.
[04:52] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    You're still only 41.
    Your life is just getting started.
[04:55] (Flashback) Odokawa
    How do you know that?
[04:56] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    I've seen your medical records.
[04:57] (Flashback) Odokawa
    You know all my personal
    information, don't you?
[04:59] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    What about your family?
[05:00] (Flashback) Odakawa
    They were gone before I knew it.
[05:02] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    When?
[05:02] (Flashback) Odokawa
    Late elementary school.
[05:04] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    How'd you support yourself?
[05:05] (Flashback) Odakawa
    What is this, a stress interview?
[05:07] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    I'm sorry. I overstepped my bounds.
[05:15] (Flashback) Odokawa
    Do you regret anything?
[05:17] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    Maybe taking out a student loan
    to attend nursing school.
[05:21] (Flashback) Odokawa
    Why do you regret that?
[05:24] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    At the time, I was stubborn and
     didn't want to rely on my parents,
[05:27] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    but I feel like I should have.
[05:29] (Flashback) Odokawa
    You still haven't paid it off?
[05:35] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    No, I have.
[05:42] (Flashback) Odokawa
    Where were you born?
[05:44] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    Miyazaki.
[05:45] (Flashback) Odokawa
    Sing me a Miyazaki folk song.
[05:47] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    The Japanese pepper tree in the yard...
[05:48] (Flashback) Odokawa
    You can actually sing one?
[05:51] (Flashback) Odokawa
    I only asked you because
    I assumed you couldn't.
[05:54] (Flashback) Odokawa
    It's kind of scary, too.
[05:57] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    I want to build a happy family
[06:00] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    so my parents back in Miyazaki
    don't have to worry about me.
[06:03] (Flashback) Odokawa
    You...
[06:04] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    Miho Shirakawa.
[06:07] (Flashback) Odokawa
    Shirakawa-san, is there anyone you like?
[06:12] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    Yes.
[06:19] (Flashback) Odokawa
    Huh. What's he like?
[06:21] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    What's he like? He's a little
     hard to describe.
[06:26] (Flashback) Odokawa
    Do you have a photo of him?
[06:28] (Flashback) Shirakawa
    I do. Would you like to see?
[06:29] (Flashback) Odokawa
    I would.
[06:31] (Flashback) Odokawa
    I'll tease Kakihana by telling him about it.
[06:45] Odokawa
    You've transcended all kinds of stuff
    to achieve a look of total serenity.
[06:49] Kakihana
    Hold on. I'm organizing
    my thoughts right now.
[06:54] Kakihana
    I hate to admit it, Odokawa,
    but you've got a chance.
[06:57] Odokawa
    At what?
[06:59] Kakihana
    At the rate we're going,
[07:00] Kakihana
    both of us are headed straight
    for eternal bachelorhood.
[07:02] Kakihana
    Snagging a beautiful girl like her
    would be a huge upset.
[07:05] Odokawa
    It's not like that.
[07:07] Kakihana
    You don't like her?
[07:08] Odokawa
    That's not it.
[07:10] Kakihana
    So, you like her?
[07:11] Odokawa
    I don't particularly like her, either.
[07:13] Kakihana
    What if you had to choose?
[07:14] Odokawa
    Why force me to answer a difficult
     question in black or white terms?
[07:17] Odokawa
    Who are you, Mr. Children?
[07:18] Kakihana
    I'm asking which way you lean.
[07:21] Odokawa
    Well... I guess toward liking her.
[07:23] Kakihana
    How much?
[07:23] Odokawa
    How much what?
[07:24] Kakihana
    I'm asking how big your affection is for her.
[07:28] Odokawa
    About the size of a
    North American supplement.
[07:29] Kakihana
    In some ways, that's huge.
[07:32] Odokawa
    What should I do?
[07:34] Kakihana
    You shouldn't be too careful.
[07:37] Kakihana
    They say women are
    as fickle as autumn weather,
[07:39] Kakihana
    and that you should strike
    while the iron is hot.
[07:41] Kakihana
    But if you're too aggressive,
    she'll think you're a desperate old man,
[07:45] Kakihana
    so it's a tough balancing act.
[07:47] Kakihana
    If it were me, I'd tease her a little
    by giving her the cold shoulder,
[07:50] Kakihana
    and then smile kindly at her
    when I see her at the clinic.
[07:52] Odokawa
    Just shut up already.
[07:53] Kakihana
    Shut up?
[07:55] Odokawa
    When I asked myself
    why I'm getting advice
[07:57] Odokawa
    from a guy who's still looking for a wife,
[07:58] Odokawa
    it all started to sound like static.
[08:00] Kakihana
    Yeah, but real talk, I bet your
     parents would be ecstatic
[08:04] Kakihana
    if you were married
    by the time they returned.
[08:07] Kakihana
    Don't you want them to meet their grandkids?
[08:09] Odokawa
    I'd rather show the people
    who covered my living expenses
[08:14] Odokawa
    after my parents left that I'm happy.
[08:17] Kakihana
    You mean that support group, right?
[08:24] Kakihana
    You never get in the bath, Odokawa.
[08:27] Kakihana
    Wanna stop by Taeko's place?
[08:29] Odokawa
    Nah, I'm working tonight.
[08:36] Odokawa
    Hey, don't take pictures
    in the changing room.
[08:39] Kakihana
    Who cares? There's nobody here.
[08:41] Kakihana
    Taeko said she hasn't seen your
    face in a while. She misses you.
[08:46] Poster
    It doesn't matter that nobody's here.
    It says it's prohibited.
SIGN    You have new messages
SIGN    Close
SIGN    View Message
SIGN    Online
SIGN    Shiho, 18 years old, Tokyo
SIGN    Nice to meet you. I was intrigued by your very genuine-looking photo, so I sent you a message. Feel free to message back.
SIGN    Shiho, 18 years old, Tokyo
[09:07] Odokawa
    Are you listening, Kakihana?
SIGN    How to Fill Out a Job Application
SIGN    Finding a Job
SIGN    500 Tips For Finding a Job
SIGN    How to Write Social Media Posts
SIGN    Make Your Dreams Come True With Social Media
SIGN    The Internet Rules For Achieving Popularity
SIGN    How to Get Your Posts Shared on Social Media
SIGN    Collection of Funny Tweets
SIGN    The Social Network: How to Get Likes and Go Viral on Social Media
SIGN    The other day I ordered a corner highball from a foreign-looking waiter at an izakaya, and he brought me a highball with coke. Just how good is my pronunciation?
SIGN    Taichi Kabasawa
SIGN    2 hours ago
[09:40] Kabasawa
    How am I supposed to go viral, damn it?
[09:44] Mom
    Taichi, go get in the bath!
[09:46] Kabasawa
    Okay!
SIGN    Shofutei Donraku
SIGN    5 hours ago
SIGN    We were told young people aren't watching TV, but popular tweets tend to be about TV, and people who brag about not watching it are just addicted to their phones. Not only that, but they're idiots who think they're actively gathering information.
[09:55] Kabasawa
    140,000 r-retweets...
SIGN    Replying to @donrakutei
SIGN    There it is lol old people causing problems again lmaoooo
SIGN    Real Japanese Man
SIGN    Replying to @donrakutei
SIGN    Your rakugo isn't very funny.
SIGN    Taichi_Kabasawa
SIGN    2 hours ago
SIGN    Hold on lol I was telling my taxi driver that I was having trouble finding a job, so he took my phone and was like, "Check this out; it'll cheer you up," and took a picture of us lmao
SIGN    Mystery Kiss
[10:46] Nikaido
    Imai-san, you waited in line for me again.
[10:49] Imai
    Of course I did.
[10:50] Imai
    I've been waiting forever
    for you to debut, Rui-tan.
[10:53] Yamamoto
    I'm ready to take your picture.
[10:55] Nikaido
    How should we pose?
[10:58] Imai
    I already got pictures of us
    making a heart and linking arms.
[11:00] Imai
    What should we do?
[11:01] Nikaido
    Since you're so special,
    Imai-san, how about a hug?
[11:05] Imai
    What? Are you sure?
[11:11] Nikaido
    Since you're my last visitor today,
    I'll give you an autograph, too.
[11:15] Imai
    Thank you. I promise
    I'll buy your debut single.
[11:18] Nikaido
    Thanks, but...
[11:21] Nikaido
    I'm not sure it'll sell well.
[11:23] Imai
    Are things tough?
[11:25] Nikaido
    We had fewer people show up
    than expected again today.
[11:28] Imai
    I've been thinking.
[11:30] Imai
    Both Ichimura-san and Mitsuya-san
    would look better without masks.
[11:33] Imai
    They're so cute. It's a waste.
[11:35] Imai
    I assumed they'd take their masks
     off for the Polaroids.
[11:38] Imai
    Nobody wants a Polaroid if they're masked.
[11:40] Imai
    Oh, they may be cute, but of course
    they're not as cute as you, Rui-tan.
[11:44] Nikaido
    But those were the conditions for our debut.
[11:48] Imai
    I see. They've got their reasons, I guess.
[11:52] Imai
    Also...
[11:54] Imai
    Mitsuya-san's dancing has
    gotten a little sloppy.
[11:57] Imai
    Is she not feeling well?
[12:01] Nikaido
    She works part time while attending
    lessons and streaming from home.
[12:05] Nikaido
    She might be tired.
[12:07] Imai
    Sounds rough.
[12:09] Imai
    Don't push yourself too hard, Rui-tan.
[12:11] Nikaido
    Here.
[12:13] Imai
    Thank you, Rui-tan.
[12:15] Imai
    I'll promise I'll get rich and buy
    tons of your CDs and merch.
[12:18] Imai
    I'm just a waiter at a club
     right now, but—
[12:20] Yamamoto
    Time's up. Thank you.
[12:30] Yamamoto
    Ichimura and Mitsuya, we've got
    some time before the venue closes.
[12:34] Yamamoto
    Could you go outside
    and sell our leftover merch?
[12:37] Mitsuya
    You're kidding, right?
    Nikaido-san doesn't have to?
[12:39] Ichimura
    What can we do? Our sales
    aren't as good as Rui's.
[12:42] Ichimura
    No one cares about us.
[12:44] Yamamoto
    I'm really sorry.
[12:49] Mitsuya
    It's so embarrassing
    to go outside with this mask on.
[12:52] Mitsuya
    Ichimura-san, don't you think it's
    impossible for us to succeed?
[12:54] Mitsuya
    These masks prevent us from attracting
    big spenders like Nikaido-san.
[12:57] Ichimura
    I couldn't attract fans
    even if I took my mask off.
[13:00] Mitsuya
    Ichimura-san, you have
    too little self-esteem.
[13:04] Ichimura
    Yeah, well, I started my career
     maskless, and now I'm here.
[13:07] Ichimura
    If anything, it's crazy that you
     have any self-esteem at all.
[13:11] Mitsuya
    Maybe it's because my parents
    raised me with love.
[13:15] Ichimura
    That's crazy. You're right.
    That's a big factor.
[13:18] Ichimura
    My parents always told me
    that I couldn't do anything.
[13:23] Mitsuya
    Ichimura-san, when are you happiest?
[13:26] Ichimura
    When I'm in the bath.
[13:28] Mitsuya
    You sound like an old lady.
[13:29] Ichimura
    What about you, Mitsuya-san?
[13:31] Mitsuya
    When I'm eating.
    Especially if it's fried chicken.
[13:33] Ichimura
    You're crazy. That's crazy high in calories.
[13:35] Mitsuya
    Ichimura-san, your vocabulary is crazy bad.
[13:37] Ichimura
    What? You're crazy. What a crazy
    way to talk to your seniors.
[13:42] Yamamoto
    This is beyond our expectations.
    Great work, Nikaido.
[13:45] Yamamoto
    Even the online news is talking about you.
[13:48] Nikaido
    It's not enough.
[13:49] Nikaido
    We're less successful than we should be,
    given the commercial we put out.
[13:52] Nikaido
    We need more fans like Imai-san.
[13:55] Yamamoto
    That Imai guy was one
    of those five guys, right?
[14:07] Nikaido
    Yeah. He's probably the only one
    who's been following us since then.
[14:16] Yamamoto
    It's them.
[14:19] Yamamoto
    Hello, this is Yamamoto. Yes.
[14:22] Yamamoto
    Yes, it went smoothly. Yes.
[14:25] Yamamoto
    Half, right? Of course.
[14:28] Yamamoto
    What? A dash cam?
[14:32] Yamamoto
    I'll look for him.
[14:34] Yamamoto
    Do you know the driver's name?
[14:36] Yamamoto
    I'm not sure what I can do if you don't.
[14:39] Yamamoto
    You're right. Understood.
[14:44] Nikaido
    What did they say?
[14:45] Yamamoto
    It's fine. Nothing for you
    to worry about, Nikaido.
[15:07] Imai
    Excuse me, but could you take me
    to Shinjuku for 2,000 yen?
[15:10] Odokawa
    It costs about 3,500 yen to get
    from here to Shinjuku.
[15:13] Imai
    Can't you make an exception?
[15:15] Odokawa
    I'll go as far as I can.
[15:18] Imai
    No, please take me to Shinjuku!
[15:19] Odokawa
    Your haggling style is
    so pushy that it's creepy.
[15:22] Imai
    Please. I'm broke.
[15:25] Odokawa
    Fine, then.
[15:35] Imai
    Damn it. All losers.
[15:38] Odokawa
    If you have the money to buy those,
    you should set some aside for cab fare.
[15:41] Imai
    It's not like that.
[15:43] Imai
    I'm going to use the money
    to buy Mystery Kiss CDs.
[15:46] Odokawa
    Mystery Kiss?
[15:47] Imai
    You don't know them?
[15:48] Imai
    It's a three-person idol group
    that just debuted.
[15:50] Imai
    After struggling for two years,
    they finally debuted.
[15:53] Odokawa
    That's not a very long struggle.
[15:54] Imai
    Thinking back, I encountered them a year ago
[15:56] Imai
    at a concert I happened to attend.
[15:58] Imai
    Back then, there were only five
    people in the audience, including me.
[16:01] Imai
    But today, all those fans came to see them.
[16:04] Imai
    I feel happy, but also kind
    of sad. I feel conflicted.
[16:08] Imai
    But, like, knowing them since way back
    gives me a sense of superiority.
[16:12] Imai
    I was one of those five fans.
[16:15] Imai
    I'll never forget how I felt then.
[16:18] Imai
    Rui Nikaido's overpowering aura.
[16:20] Imai
    Her singing reminded me of Janis Joplin.
[16:22] Imai
    Her innate idol-like qualities contrasted
    with the ambition that flowed out of her.
[16:26] Imai
    Yuki Mitsuya's exceptional physical
    abilities backed by her next-level dancing.
[16:30] Imai
    Shiho Ichimura's genuine modesty.
[16:33] Imai
    Each idol had a unique personality.
[16:35] Imai
    They were the holy trinity of idols.
[16:38] Odokawa
    You've got a lot to say about them,
[16:40] Odokawa
    but their personalities got
    less impressive as you went on.
[16:42] Imai
    That's because ultimately,
    I'm a Nikaido fan.
[16:45] Imai
    I even made a Nikaido fan account.
[16:47] Odokawa
    Uh-huh.
[16:48] Imai
    Anyway, today was their
    debut CD preorder event.
SIGN    Mystery Kiss
    Debut Single "Supernatural
    Love Phenomenon" CD Preorder
     12/25/2021 Polaroid Event Ticket
SIGN    Rui Nikaido
[16:52] Imai
    Each preorder comes with Polaroid tickets.
[16:54] Imai
    The more you preorder,
    the more Polaroids you get to take.
[16:57] Imai
    You can have Rui Nikaido all to yourself.
[16:59] Odokawa
    Assuming you're right, if you've
    got the money for lottery tickets,
[17:02] Odokawa
    you should spend it on CDs instead.
[17:03] Imai
    What are you talking about?
    All I can afford is one CD.
[17:07] Imai
    I'd rather win the lottery
    and make Rui Nikaido all mine.
[17:11] Odokawa
    You're betting on slim odds.
[17:13] Imai
    Are you a lucky man, Driver?
[17:15] Imai
    After all, they call it
    catching a "brake," right?
[17:18] Imai
    I bet you've got great luck.
[17:21] Odokawa
    A long time ago, I survived an accident
    that should've killed me.
[17:25] Odokawa
    So maybe I am lucky.
[17:30] Imai
    If you were lucky, you wouldn't
    have gotten into an accident.
[17:33] Odokawa
    I guess you're right.
[17:34] Odokawa
    We've arrived in Shinjuku. Is here okay?
[17:36] Imai
    Yeah! Sorry I only have 2,000 yen.
[17:39] Imai
    Since you're a lucky driver,
[17:41] Imai
    could I get your seven favorite
    numbers between 1 and 37?
[17:53] Odokawa
    2, 10, 12, 18, 20, 32, 33.
[17:58] Imai
    Hey, that sounds pretty good.
[18:00] Imai
    I'm off to buy a lottery ticket.
[18:02] Odokawa
    Hey, you still had money?
[18:06] Odokawa
    Jeez.
SIGN    New message
SIGN    Miho Shirakawa
SIGN    Can we meet now?
SIGN    Can we meet now?
[18:21] Shibagaki
    Sorry, are you available?
[18:26] Shibagaki
    Sorry to interrupt your break.
[18:28] Shibagaki
    To Japan Broadcasting, please.
[18:39] Baba
    What are you watching?
[18:41] Shibagaki
    I thought I might find something
    we could use on the broadcast.
[18:43] Baba
    You're studying hard.
[18:45] Shibagaki
    Look. Doesn't this just piss you off?
SIGN    MOWMOW LULU GYABAN's "Sadness in the Subway" cover
[18:51] Baba
    I know what you mean.
    I'd rather listen to the actual song.
[18:53] Shibagaki
    Some of them are moving, though.
[18:56] Baba
    Wh-What are you talking about?
    Some of them are moving?
[18:59] Shibagaki
    Too slow.
[19:01] Shibagaki
    So what are you doing?
[19:02] Baba
    Huh? "Zooden."
SIGN    Homosapi Baba Rank: 80 Development points: 355 Animals: 56
[19:04] Shibagaki
    "Zooden?"
[19:05] Baba
    It's a mobile game.
[19:08] Shibagaki
    Hold on. You named your
    account "Homosapi Baba"
[19:11] Shibagaki
    and even uploaded a photo of yourself.
[19:12] Shibagaki
    Don't you know you're a celebrity?
[19:14] Baba
    I can play with our fans this way.
    What's wrong with that?
[19:16] Shibagaki
    Use that time to write jokes instead.
[19:18] Baba
    It's super addicting.
[19:20] Baba
    You raise animals and stuff to rank up.
[19:22] Shibagaki
    You've only ever been raised.
    How could you raise anything?
[19:26] Shibagaki
    Focus on ranking up your comedy.
    You're dead last right now.
[19:28] Baba
    You think I'm dead last at comedy?
[19:30] Shibagaki
    Not just among professionals.
[19:31] Shibagaki
    I mean among all people.
    Don't get the wrong idea.
[19:33] Baba
    I'm dead last at comedy among all people?
[19:36] Shibagaki
    So, how are things with your girlfriend?
[19:39] Baba
    I can't talk about that here.
[19:41] Shibagaki
    Don't be so self-conscious.
[19:43] Shibagaki
    The percentage of people who know us is as low
    as the interest rate on a fixed deposit account.
[19:46] Baba
    Well, my girlfriend has the opportunity
    to achieve the percentage of cacao
[19:49] Baba
    in a very bitter bar of chocolate.
[19:51] Shibagaki
    Are you saying we don't?
[19:53] Odokawa
    I know you guys. You're Homosapiens, right?
[19:55] Odokawa
    I always listen to you guys on the radio.
[19:57] Shibagaki
    Seriously?
[19:58] Odokawa
    I didn't know what you looked like,
    but I recognized your voices.
[20:00] Shibagaki
    That's the problem.
[20:02] Shibagaki
    Driver, what do you think
    we need to be successful?
[20:04] Odokawa
    I don't know. Luck, maybe?
[20:06] Shibagaki
    If we were lucky, we wouldn't
    need to work hard.
[20:08] Shibagaki
    We want to be the best act in the nation.
[20:11] Odokawa
    It seems to me like you're
    not equally committed.
[20:15] Odokawa
    By the way, how did
    the N-1 preliminaries go?
[20:18] Baba
    We made it past Round 2.
[20:19] Odokawa
    That's impressive.
[20:21] Shibagaki
    Hey, Baba. What would you do
    if I said we should dissolve the group?
[20:25] Baba
    I'd think it couldn't be helped.
[20:27] Baba
    I don't really understand comedy.
[20:29] Baba
    I hate to admit it,
[20:32] Baba
    but you're the only one I think is truly
    funny from the bottom of my heart.
[20:35] Baba
    Even an older comedian
    said you've got talent.
[20:39] Baba
    That you'll be successful someday.
[20:40] Baba
    So if I'm holding you back, then
    I think I should step out of your way.
[20:45] Shibagaki
    You've got it all wrong.
    You shouldn't be talking about quitting.
[20:48] Shibagaki
    Your fatal flaw is that you're not
    frustrated after he said that about us.
[20:51] Baba
    I can't help that I'm not frustrated!
[20:54] Baba
    Are you saying you can
    control your emotions?
[20:56] Baba
    If people could do that, all unrequited
    love would cease existing!
[20:58] Shibagaki
    That's actually pretty funny!
[21:00] Shibagaki
    You should be putting
     that on the airwaves!
[21:02] Baba
    You say I'm funny, but I don't
    know what you want me to do!
[21:04] Shibagaki
    It's that way you talked back to me
    when you felt cornered!
[21:07] Baba
    Who wouldn't talk back
    after being pushed like that?
[21:09] Shibagaki
    Driver, during middle school,
    this guy got into a fistfight
[21:12] Shibagaki
    with a girl that ended in a draw.
[21:14] Baba
    That has nothing to do
    with this conversation!
[21:16] Baba
    Quit talking about my personal life!
[21:18] Shibagaki
    You're a crap student, a crap
    fighter, and a crap comedian.
[21:21] Shibagaki
    Is there anything you can do?
[21:22] Baba
    My academic abilities aren't part of this!
[21:24] Baba
    We went to the same high school!
[21:26] Baba
    We're not that different!
[21:29] Baba
    It's our manager.
[21:32] Baba
    We'll be arriving at the studio soon.
[21:33] Baba
    Yes. We're in a taxi.
[21:35] Baba
    What? Yeah, he's right next to me.
[21:38] Baba
    Yes. Yes.
[21:40] Baba
    What? Who, me?
[21:44] Baba
    Yes. Tomorrow? That's fine.
[21:47] Baba
    Yes. Seriously?
[21:49] Baba
    Yes. Yes. Goodbye.
[21:54] Shibagaki
    What'd he say?
[21:57] Baba
    It's a regular appearance.
[21:58] Shibagaki
    You're kidding. On what?
[22:00] Baba
    Some kind of daytime food show.
[22:02] Shibagaki
    That's totally great. Ye—
[22:03] Baba
    It's just me.
[22:21] Odakawa
    Where t—
SIGN    Miho Shirakawa
SIGN    I'll wait at the park across from the clinic.
SIGN    New message
SIGN    Next Time: Beware of Borrowed Plumes
[23:35] Odokawa
    How are things lately, ma'am?
[23:36] Taeko
    With what?
[23:37] Odokawa
    With Kakihana.
[23:38] Taeko
    There's nothing to report.
[23:39] Odokawa
    Well, he's certainly hopeless.
[23:41] Taeko
    A dumb, hopeless monkey.
[23:43] Odokawa
    Keep your voice down. He'll hear you.
[23:45] Taeko
    Crap. We made eye contact.
[23:46] Odokawa
    Ma'am, got any New Year's resolutions?
[23:48] Taeko
    Maybe I'll open a second shop.

E3 - Beware of Borrowed Plumes

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Equator Sauna
SIGN    Beware of Borrowed Plumes
[01:33] Man A
    I think the first guy to freestyle was KIN.
[01:36] Man B
    What? From Mellow Yellow?
SIGN    Shiho, 18 years old, Tokyo
[01:47] Kuroda
    Hey.
[01:48] Kakihana
    Ah, yes?
[01:49] Kuroda
    What's that taxi driver's name?
[01:52] Kakihana
    Huh? You mean Odokawa?
[01:56] Kuroda
    Odokawa...
[01:57] Kakihana
    That's his name.
[02:00] Kuroda
    You know the missing high
    school girl case in Nerima?
[02:03] Kakihana
    Yes.
[02:04] Kuroda
    Rumor has it she got into Odokawa's taxi.
[02:07] Kakihana
    What?
[02:08] Kuroda
    But we haven't heard anything
    about the case since then, right?
[02:13] Kakihana
    You're right.
[02:15] Kuroda
    The investigation request was withdrawn.
[02:18] Kakihana
    Huh? So they found her, then?
[02:20] Kuroda
    No. Apparently they received
    a message from her secondhand.
[02:23] Kakihana
    That's great. She's all right, then.
[02:26] Kuroda
    That said, I'm allegedly the reason
    she ran away from home.
[02:29] Kakihana
    What? What did you do?
[02:31] Kuroda
    Could you investigate her whereabouts?
[02:34] Kakihana
    What? You want me to do it?
[02:36] Kuroda
    It's Don-chan's daughter.
[02:37] Kakihana
    Whose daughter? I don't know
    what you expect me to do.
[02:40] Kuroda
    Later.
[02:41] Kakihana
    Huh?
[02:42] Kakihana
    Uh, yeah. Talk to you later.
[02:52] Kakihana
    Huh? He was on the phone?!
[02:59] Dobu
    Odokawa-kun, let's go for a drive.
[03:02] Odokawa
    Sure thing. You'll pay your fare, won't you?
[03:07] Dobu
    Maybe, if you give me
    some useful information.
[03:14] Odokawa
    What information?
[03:16] Odokawa
    More importantly, that toy
    is awfully distracting.
[03:19] Dobu
    Is it a toy, or is it real?
[03:26] Kuroda
    Hey.
[03:26] (Flashback) Dobu
    Boss, what is it?
[03:28] Kuroda
    What's that taxi driver's name?
[03:32] (Flashback) Dobu
    You mean Odokawa?
[03:35] Kuroda
    Odokawa...
[03:37] Dobu
    What about him?
[03:39] (Flashback) Kuroda
    You know the missing high
    school girl case in Nerima?
[03:42] (Flashback) Dobu
    Yes.
[03:44] Man B
    Rumor has it she got into Odokawa's taxi.
[03:48] (Flashback) Kuroda
    Boss, about that...
[03:50] Kuroda
    But we haven't heard anything
    about the case since then, right?
[03:55] Dobu
    You're right.
[03:57] (Flashback) Kuroda
    The investigation request was withdrawn.
[04:00] Dobu
    I heard about that from the older Daimon.
[04:03] Dobu
    He said they heard from the missing girl.
[04:04] (Flashback) Kuroda
    No. Apparently they received
    a message from her secondhand.
[04:08] Dobu
    I see...
[04:11] (Flashback) Kuroda
    That said, I'm allegedly the reason
    she ran away from home.
[04:14] Dobu
    What do you mean?
[04:15] (Flashback) Kuroda
    Could you investigate her whereabouts?
[04:19] (Flashback) Dobu
    Why do you care about a high
    school girl from Nerima, boss?
[04:22] Kuroda
    It's Don-chan's daughter.
[04:24] (Flashback) Dobu
    What?!
[04:26] Kuroda
    Later.
[04:29] (Flashback) Dobu
    Bye.
[04:38] Dobu
    Odokawa-kun, apparently you picked up
    the missing high school girl from Nerima.
[04:42] Odokawa
    Apparently. I handed over my dash
    cam data to Big Daimon a while ago.
[04:47] Dobu
    Yeah, I know. I have your data.
[04:49] Odokawa
    Sounds like you guys are involved, then.
[04:51] Dobu
    I have a request.
[04:53] Dobu
    I need you to keep your mouth shut.
[04:56] Dobu
    Also, I want your help with something.
[04:59] Odokawa
    Big Daimon already told me
    to keep my mouth shut.
[05:02] Odokawa
    He said a wanted criminal armed with
    a gun would kill me if I told the police.
[05:07] Odokawa
    In fact, there's a wanted criminal armed
    with a gun trying to kill me right now—
[05:10] Dobu
    Not just the police. Don't tell anybody.
[05:12] Dobu
    Tell 'em you lost your dash cam data.
[05:14] Odokawa
    Don't tell anybody? Like who?
[05:16] Dobu
    Everybody.
[05:19] Odokawa
    So, what do you want help with?
[05:21] Dobu
    If anyone shows up looking
    for your dash cam data,
[05:24] Dobu
    I want you to let me know.
[05:25] Odokawa
    And if I refuse?
[05:28] Dobu
    I'll kill you.
[05:39] Odokawa
    Why are you so desperate
    to find this girl, Dobu?
[05:42] Dobu
    That ain't any of your damn business.
[05:44] Odokawa
    I can't help you if I don't
    know what's going on.
[05:47] Odokawa
    Besides, without some information,
[05:50] Odokawa
    I won't know what I'm not
    supposed to tell whom.
[05:53] Dobu
    Fine.
[05:56] Dobu
    First, my boss is looking for the missing
    high school girl from Nerima.
[06:00] Odokawa
    Why?
[06:01] Dobu
    Because she's the daughter of a classmate.
[06:03] Odokawa
    What about the police?
[06:04] Dobu
    Officially, the police suspect me.
[06:10] Odokawa
    Suspect you? Aren't you
    besties with the police?
[06:13] Dobu
    Hey, you insult me. Just with Big Daimon.
[06:16] Odokawa
    Really? Not Little Daimon?
[06:18] Dobu
    Little Daimon's an idiot.
[06:20] Odokawa
    So, you're not actually involved?
[06:23] Dobu
    Nope. Swear to God, I'm not involved.
[06:27] Dobu
    If anything, I was framed.
[06:31] Odokawa
    Why do you have my dash cam data, then?
[06:34] Dobu
    Don't interrogate me like
    you're the police, Odokawa.
[06:37] Odokawa
    Can't help you if I can't trust you.
[06:41] Dobu
    Honestly, I thought you were connected
    to the Nerima missing persons case.
[06:46] Dobu
    Apparently you've been talking
    to someone in your apartment.
[06:49] Dobu
    At first, I thought I'd get my hands
    on your dash cam data
[06:54] Dobu
    so I could blackmail you with it.
[06:56] Odokawa
    So you don't suspect me anymore, then.
[06:58] Dobu
    Nah, I still think you might've done it.
[07:01] Dobu
    The investigation request's
    been withdrawn, though.
[07:05] Odokawa
    Withdrawn? Then her family must
    be satisfied with the situation.
[07:08] Dobu
    They got word that she ran away
[07:09] Dobu
    because of the relationship
    between my boss and her dad,
[07:12] Dobu
    so they withdrew the request.
[07:15] Dobu
    They haven't accepted the situation.
[07:18] Odokawa
    Do you have any idea who might be involved?
[07:22] Dobu
    There's only one guy who
     could've put her up to this.
[07:25] Dobu
    A guy named Yano.
[07:26] Odkawa
    Yano?
[07:29] Dobu
    My junior.
[07:30] Odokawa
    If he's your junior, go talk to him yourself.
[07:33] Dobu
    My job is collecting payments for my boss.
[07:37] Dobu
    There's not much point in
    telling you about it, so I won't,
[07:41] Dobu
    but it's about obligation or principle.
[07:43] Dobu
    But Yano only thinks about
    collecting more money than me.
[07:48] Dobu
    He doesn't work for obligation or principle.
[07:50] Dobu
    In other words, Yano doesn't like me.
[07:53] Odokawa
    You're saying there's no point
    in asking Yano directly.
[07:56] Dobu
    Bingo.
[07:58] Dobu
    So if someone comes to take
     your dash cam data,
[08:01] Dobu
    in all likelihood it'll be Yano
    or one of his henchmen.
[08:05] Dobu
    That's why I want your help.
[08:07] Odokawa
    Why don't you tell all this to your boss?
[08:10] Dobu
    I couldn't. I didn't tell him
    that I have the dash cam data.
[08:14] Odokawa
    Why?
[08:15] Dobu
    Because Yano is always telling everyone
    that I only do petty jobs.
[08:21] Dobu
    It's reached the boss's ears, too.
[08:23] Odokawa
    In other words, he's a show-off.
[08:25] Dobu
    Yeah. I think Yano knew what he was doing.
[08:30] Odokawa
    I get the picture.
[08:31] Odokawa
    You don't want me to tell anyone
    that you have my dash cam data
[08:35] Odokawa
    because you don't want
    your boss to find out.
[08:38] Odokawa
    And if anyone comes looking for it,
    you want me to let you know.
[08:42] Dobu
    That's right. You're quick
    on the uptake, Odokawa.
[08:46] Dobu
    If Yano is involved
    in the missing persons case,
[08:49] Dobu
    then I can find evidence of that
    and use it to bring him down.
[08:54] Odokawa
    No, thanks.
[08:55] Dobu
    What?!
[08:56] Odokawa
    You're still a criminal.
[08:59] Odokawa
    I'm not interested
    in helping someone like that.
[09:01] Dobu
    Even if I threaten to kill you?
[09:04] Odokawa
    You can't kill anyone.
[09:07] Odokawa
    You may be a small-time gangster,
    but you've got your pride.
[09:13] Dobu
    You asshole!
[09:15] Police
    You, in the taxi. Pull over.
[09:19] Dobu
    Get us out of here, or I'll shoot.
[09:22] Odokawa
    If you shoot me, you'll just get arrested.
[09:26] Dobu
    Don't say anything stupid.
[09:38] Odokawa
    Damn it.
[09:43] Dobu
    Which one is it? The older
    or younger brother?
[09:55] Kenshiro
    Is something the matter?
[09:59] Odokawa
    Can't you tell? I'm being
    robbed. He's got a gun.
[10:04] Kenshiro
    Be quiet. You'll bother the neighbors.
[10:07] Odokawa
    He's got a gun. Search him.
[10:08] Dobu
    Something's wrong with this driver.
[10:11] Kenshiro
    It certainly seems that way.
[10:12] Odokawa
    How much is he paying you?
[10:13] Kenshiro
    In any case, could you turn off
    your emergency light? It's confusing.
[10:18] Kenshiro
    This is Shinjuku 4 to Central.
[10:20] Kenshiro
    Shinjuku 336 10-22...
[10:24] Koshiro
    Hey, Bro. What was that about?
[10:26] Kenshiro
    Ah, Little Bro. It was nothing.
[10:28] Kenshiro
    His taxi broke down.
[10:29] Koshiro
    Really, Bro? I heard something about a gun.
[10:33] Kenshiro
    Listen, Little Bro. Think about it.
[10:35] Kenshiro
    Can you believe anything a taxi driver says?
[10:39] Koshiro
    You're right. Damn those taxi drivers!
[11:00] Dobu
    Head to Shinjuku.
[11:08] Dobu
    You turned on your taxi's
    emergency light and kept me talking,
[11:12] Dobu
    found a cop car, and provoked me
    so I'd turn my gun on you.
[11:15] Dobu
    You wanted the cops to see.
[11:18] Dobu
    That was quite the risk you took.
[11:20] Dobu
    What if I'd actually shot you?
[11:23] Odokawa
    Whatever. I wouldn't mind dying.
[11:25] Dobu
    You're not afraid to die?
[11:28] Dobu
    Someone who's not afraid to die doesn't
    need your weird sense of justice.
[11:31] Odokawa
    I am afraid. Unbelievably so.
[11:35] Odokawa
    But I'd rather die than get involved
    in what sounds like a pain in the ass.
[11:39] Dobu
    I get it, Odokawa-kun.
[11:42] Dobu
    I understand that threatening you
    won't get you to do what I want.
[11:46] Dobu
    What motivates you? You don't
    seem very interested in money.
[11:51] Dobu
    I know, I'll hurt your friends.
    Who should I hurt?
[11:57] Dobu
    What's your friend's name? Kakihana?
[12:01] Odokawa
    Kakihana, huh?
[12:02] Odokawa
    He's probably better off dead, too.
[12:05] Dobu
    You're so cold, Odokawa-kun.
[12:07] Dobu
    You seemed a little shaken, though.
[12:09] Dobu
    You're actually bluffing, aren't you?
[12:12] Dobu
    Who should I choose?
[12:14] Dobu
    Taeko.
[12:16] Dobu
    Shirakawa...
[12:19] Dobu
    So, that's your weakness.
[12:24] Odokawa
    Why Shirakawa-san?
[12:33] Dobu
    Sounds like we have a deal, then.
[12:36] Dobu
    Thanks for your help.
SIGN    New message
SIGN    Miho Shirakawa
    I'll wait at the park across
    from the clinic.
[13:16] Shirakawa
    "I'll wait at the park across
    from the clinic."
SIGN    Super Rare Dodo
[13:45] Shirakawa
    You came.
[13:49] Odokawa
    Do you have some business with me?
[13:52] Shirakawa
    Is wanting to see you not
     a good enough reason?
[14:02] Shirakawa
    You know those fast-forwarded videos of
     landscapes filmed on a fixed-point camera?
[14:07] Shirakawa
    Watching those makes me feel so anxious.
[14:10] Shirakawa
    The sun sets in the blink of an eye.
[14:12] Shirakawa
    The stars move, and clouds drift by.
[14:15] Shirakawa
    It forces us to confront the fact
    that time marches on,
[14:17] Shirakawa
    regardless of what we have to say about it.
[14:19] Odokawa
    It kind of sounds like you're
    being snide about my tardiness.
[14:22] Shirakawa
    I don't believe there's such
     a thing as wasted time.
[14:25] Shirakawa
    But they say "time is money," you know?
[14:28] Odokawa
    Why not take things slowly, then?
[14:30] Shirakawa
    Try saying that again, but meaner this time.
[14:36] Odokawa
    Why not enjoy a bit of sherry
    and a fudge brownie
[14:39] Odokawa
    while strolling along the West Coast?
[14:41] Shirakawa
    Your snide remark has
    a rather American quality to it.
[14:46] Odokawa
    You don't want to be friends with me.
[14:49] Shirakawa
    Why not?
[14:50] Odokawa
    Because I've got some
    yakuza-type guys after me.
[14:54] Odokawa
    They know who my friends are.
[14:56] Odokawa
    It's kind of dangerous.
[14:59] Shirakawa
    I'll be fine. Despite how I look...
[15:04] Shirakawa
    I used to practice capoeira.
[15:11] Odokawa
    That was surprising. I thought
    a Bollywood movie was about to start.
[15:17] Odokawa
    What's capoeira?
[15:19] Shirakawa
    A Brazilian martial art.
[15:20] Odokawa
    Why?
[15:22] Shirakawa
    At first, I was trying to lose weight.
[15:24] Shirakawa
    Then I got interested in seeing how much
     I could improve my queixada form.
[15:27] Shirakawa
    Oh, a queixada is a kick to the chin. It's—
[15:30] Odokawa
    That's not what I meant.
[15:32] Odokawa
    Your makeshift capoeira won't
    be enough to beat these guys.
[15:35] Shirakawa
    That's obnoxious. How do you know
    my martial arts skills are makeshift?
[15:39] Odokawa
    If it was to lose weight, then it can't
     be effective in a real fight.
[15:42] Odokawa
    So it's makeshift.
[15:43] Shirakawa
    It wouldn't upset you if someone
    called you a makeshift taxi driver?
[15:46] Odokawa
    Obviously I'd be upset. It's my job.
[15:49] Odokawa
    I'm not calling you a makeshift nurse.
[15:51] Shirakawa
    By the way, what does "makeshift" mean?
[15:53] Odokawa
    You got upset when you
    didn't know what it meant?
[15:55] Shirakawa
    I understood more or less from the nuance.
[15:57] Shirakawa
    Use a synonym that's easier to understand.
[15:59] Odokawa
    It means "temporary substitute."
[16:01] Shirakawa
    Who's a temporary substitute nurse?!
[16:02] Odokawa
    I didn't say that,
[16:03] Odokawa
    and I'm astonished that you got
    upset for the same reason twice.
[16:09] Odokawa
    Please, no more queixada!
[16:16] Odokawa
    Anyway, it's dangerous for us
    to be meeting like this.
[16:20] Odokawa
    For you, that is.
[16:21] Shirakawa
    It doesn't matter. I'm an adult.
[16:25] Shirakawa
    I can protect myself.
[16:29] Odokawa
    What's your goal?
[16:32] Shirakawa
    For what?
[16:33] Odokawa
    What do you gain from meeting
    with me, Shirakawa-san?
[16:36] Shirakawa
    Am I bothering you?
[16:38] Shirakawa
    Would it bother you to occasionally
    meet and chat like this
[16:43] Shirakawa
    or exchange messages?
[16:46] Shirakawa
    I find being around you
    relaxing, Odokawa-san.
[17:02] Shirakawa
    I'm working the day
    shift today. I should go.
[17:05] Odokawa
    I'll drive you there.
[17:07] Shirakawa
    Oh, right. After all, you are a taxi driver.
[17:11] Odokawa
    I won't run the meter.
[17:17] Baba
    It's the "What's for Lunch?!" Segment!
SIGN    What's for Lunch?!
SIGN    Asking People Around
    Kichijoji to Lunch!
[17:20] Baba
    Let's get started. In this segment,
    we talk to people around town
[17:23] Baba
    and eat lunch with them.
[17:25] Baba
    It's already our fourth episode, and
    we've received absolutely no response.
[17:27] Baba
    Is everything okay?
    I'm actually kinda worried.
[17:29] Staff
    Well, we're shooting all four at once.
[17:30] Baba
    Oh, right. No wonder I'm not hungry.
[17:33] Staff
    Explain where we are right now.
[17:42] Kakihana
    Hey, Odokawa.
[17:44] Baba
    Here we go. Hey, what's for lunch?
[17:48] Kakihana
    What happened with Shirakawa-san after that?
[17:51] Odokawa
    You're unusually annoying today.
[17:53] Kakihana
    Has your affection for her grown?
[17:55] Odokawa
    It's the size of Jupiter now.
[17:56] Kakihana
    That's quite the growth.
[17:59] Kakihana
    Love is both a painful and beautiful thing.
[18:04] Odokawa
    Are you in love?
[18:05] Kakihana
    I was pretty popular
    in high school, remember?
[18:10] Odokawa
    Yeah, you played baseball.
[18:12] Kakihana
    But once you're an adult,
    people have pretty high standards
[18:14] Kakihana
    regarding your appearance
    or work performance.
[18:18] Kakihana
    As I've gotten older,
    I'd started to give up on it.
[18:22] Kakihana
    My spring's finally on the horizon, though.
[18:24] Odokawa
    Really? That's great.
[18:27] Kakihana
    I've mentioned this before,
    but in the marriage marketplace,
[18:30] Kakihana
    there's no demand for guys
    with specs like ours.
[18:32] Odokawa
    That's exactly it.
[18:34] Odokawa
    Why is a 28-year-old nurse interested in me?
[18:37] Kakihana
    It's that special feeling
    that outshines your specs.
[18:41] Odokawa
    I compared my feelings to Jupiter before,
[18:43] Odokawa
    but I don't really understand
    attraction or romance myself.
[18:48] Odokawa
    I always thought they were concepts
    that had nothing to do with me.
[18:53] Odokawa
    In any case, I'm not confident.
[18:56] Kakihana
    Before you know it, you're in love.
[18:59] Kakihana
    That's just how it is.
[19:01] Odokawa
    Don't lecture me on love. It's aggravating.
[19:05] Kakihana
    You wanna see the girl I'm talking to?
SIGN    Shiho, 18 years old, Tokyo
[19:10] Odokawa
    She's just a little girl.
[19:11] Kakihana
    She's still only 18.
[19:13] Kakihana
    So far we've only exchanged messages,
    but we get along great.
[19:17] Kakihana
    We're supposed to meet up soon,
    but she's busy with work.
[19:21] Odokawa
    Did you meet her on a matchmaking site?
[19:24] Kakihana
    That's right.
[19:26] Kakihana
    I know what you're trying to say.
[19:28] Kakihana
    You think she doesn't exist, don't you?
[19:32] Kakihana
    Well, read it and weep.
SIGN    Kakihana-san!! Good luck at work
[19:38] Kakihana
    Ma'am, another helping.
[19:40] Odokawa
    It's not that I doubt her
    existence. It's just...
[19:46] Odokawa
    Are you sure you're not being tricked?
[19:49] Kakihana
    Are you jealous?
[19:51] Odokawa
    Kakihana, I'm not saying
     this out of jealousy.
[19:54] Odokawa
    Think about it. You said so yourself.
[19:57] Odokawa
    There's no demand for us
    in the marriage marketplace.
[19:59] Kakihana
    I'm telling you, it's the feeling—
[20:01] Odokawa
    You've never even met her.
    How can there be any feeling?
[20:03] Kakihana
    I told you, we've been exchanging messages!
[20:06] Kakihana
    Take a look at all of these!
[20:07] Odokawa
    Let me see your profile.
[20:10] Odokawa
    Give me that...
[20:10] Kakihana
    No way. Why, you...
[20:14] Kakihana
    Stop that!
[20:15] Odokawa
    Give me your phone...
[20:20] Taeko
    Hey.
[20:23] Kakihana
    Ouch...
SIGN    Eiji Kakihana
     41 Years Old, Tokyo
SIGN    Profile
    Born: Tokyo
    Education: College Graduate
    Annual Income: 20,000,000
[20:30] Odokawa
    These specs you lied about way
    outshine any kind of feeling.
[20:35] Kakihana
    I know.
[20:38] Kakihana
    But still, I wanna dream.
[20:41] Kakihana
    I can dream, right?
[21:00] Ichimura
    "Good evening.
SIGN    Good evening. I finished work, and I'm in Arakawa. Could I see you now?
SIGN    Shiho
[21:01] Ichimura
    I finished work, and I'm in Arakawa.
[21:04] Ichimura
    Could I see you now?"
[21:09] Kakihana
    What should I do? What should I do?
[21:11] Kakihana
    I'm on my way!
[21:14] Odokawa
    Goriki's missing?
[21:17] Shirakawa
    I can't get in touch with him.
[21:19] Shirakawa
    What should I do, Odokawa-san?
[21:41] Kakihana
    Shiho-chan?
[21:43] Ichimura
    Kakihana-san, I've been wanting to see you.
[21:47] Kakihana
    Sorry to keep you waiting.
[21:48] Kakihana
    I was glued to my monitor at work.
[21:51] Kakihana
    I rushed here in a taxi, but had
     trouble finding this place.
[21:56] Ichimura
    You're even more wonderful
    than I thought. I'm relieved.
[22:01] Ichimura
    You're all wet. Poor thing.
[22:04] Ichimura
    Shall we get some tea someplace?
[22:07] Kakihana
    Y-Y-Yeah. I know a place
    that serves good Darjeeling,
[22:11] Kakihana
    but I don't really know this area.
[22:13] Ichimura
    There's a Doutor nearby. Let's go there.
[22:16] Kakihana
    Huh? Okay.
[22:23] Kakihana
    Thanks.
SIGN    Next Time: Tanaka's Revolution
[23:35] Baba
    "Our story begins four years ago."
[23:37] Baba
    "He was working for a game company—"
[23:38] Odokawa
    Don't read that.
[23:39] Baba
    What is this?
[23:40] Odokawa
    It's an interview conducted by a writer.
[23:42] Baba
    This doesn't belong at
    an auspicious event like this.
[23:44] Odokawa
    Anyway, I'm surprised you came,
    Mr. Successful Comedian.
[23:47] Baba
    Are you being mean on purpose?
    I've got nothing in my schedule right now.

E4 - Tanaka's Revolution

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Tanaka's Revolution
[01:34] Pedestrian B
    I'm serious, man!
SIGN    Maid Café
SIGN    Welcome Back, Master
[01:42] Shibagaki
    Hey, you! What are you trying to do?
[01:45] Tanaka
    Our story begins four years ago.
[01:49] Tanaka
    At that time, I had just started
    working for a game company.
[01:51] Tanaka
    In order to examine our competitors' games,
[01:51] (Flashback) Boss A
    There's broad demand for the
    combination of intuitive puzzle games
[01:53] Tanaka
    I was playing several free-to-play games.
[01:55] (Flashback) Boss A
    and anime characters.
[01:56] Tanaka
    Honestly, I don't like modern games.
[01:57] (Flashback) Boss A
    Last year, Namico's Puzzle
    Fantasy made over 40 billion.
[01:59] Tanaka
    Games are supposed to be
    an escape from reality.
[02:04] Tanaka
    Having friends gives you an advantage.
[02:04] (Flashback) Coworker D
    Seriously, I'd go if I could.
[02:06] Tanaka
    Having money and time
    gives you an advantage.
[02:06] (Flashback) Coworker D
    You never show up!
[02:08] (Flashback) Coworker E
    I promise I'll go next time.
[02:08] Tanaka
    It's no different than reality.
[02:12] Tanaka
    Going back even further, when I was
    a third-year grade school student,
[02:14] (Flashback) Student A
    Hey, that's the new Gandum!
[02:16] (Flashback) Student D
    I won it in a giveaway!
[02:16] Tanaka
    eraser collecting
    was briefly a fad in my class.
[02:18] (Flashback) Student E
    Lemme see!
[02:18] (Flashback) Student F
    Wow!
SIGN    Found Around School
[02:21] Tanaka
    It was due to our homeroom teacher
    being rather fussy about the wealth gap.
[02:25] Tanaka
    All our possessions were standardized.
[02:27] Tanaka
    Students were instructed not to
    deviate from the average.
[02:31] Tanaka
    However, there was one loophole: stationery.
[02:36] Tanaka
    Among such products, a wide variety
    of erasers were available in circulation,
[02:40] Tanaka
    so as a class, we threw ourselves
    into collecting erasers.
[02:42] (Flashback) Student A
    Wow.
[02:43] Tanaka
    Who had the most erasers.
[02:45] Tanaka
    Who had the rarest erasers.
[02:46] Tanaka
    That alone determined our class hierarchy.
[02:50] Tanaka
    No, that's an exaggeration.
    Actually, it's a lie.
[02:54] Tanaka
    As you might expect,
    athletic kids, smart kids,
[02:57] Tanaka
    strong fighters, attractive kids,
    artistic kids, and funny kids
[03:01] Tanaka
    naturally stood near the top.
[03:05] Tanaka
    But for the rest of us
    who didn't have anything,
[03:05] (Flashback) Student K
    The PE teacher's shirt
    was hanging out during class.
[03:07] Tanaka
    eraser collecting was our last hope
    for squeezing into the top.
[03:12] Tanaka
    No, this is also an exaggeration and a lie.
[03:16] (Flashback) Student
    Did you see his face when he noticed?
[03:17] Tanaka
    Even among the kids who had nothing,
[03:19] Tanaka
    there were only two of us
    who collected erasers seriously.
[03:22] Tanaka
    Me and another kid named Sato.
[03:26] Tanaka
    Sato was a nuisance.
[03:28] Tanaka
    His parents frequently traveled for work,
    which meant he was lonely.
[03:32] Tanaka
    He received an allowance as well,
[03:34] Tanaka
    and would ask his parents
    to bring him back rare local erasers
[03:36] Tanaka
    as souvenirs from their business trips.
[03:39] Tanaka
    I think the reason I participated
[03:42] Tanaka
    in this pointless showdown
    between the two of us
[03:45] Tanaka
    was because I already
    possessed one rare eraser.
[03:50] Tanaka
    It was an eraser shaped like a dodo.
[03:53] Tanaka
    My relatives bought it for me
    on an overseas trip.
[03:56] Tanaka
    I loved birds.
[03:58] Tanaka
    I read my bird encyclopedia again
    and again until the pages wore out.
[04:02] (Flashback) Tanaka
    You're an unusual bird, aren't you?
SIGN    Pet House
[04:07] Tanaka
    Once, I begged my father
    to get me a pet bird.
[04:11] Tanaka
    My father took me into the pet shop with
    the understanding that we'd just look around,
[04:14] Tanaka
    but in the end, he bought me
    a gray male cockatiel.
[04:18] Tanaka
    I named him Maru.
[04:20] Tanaka
    Later he told my mother that he was
    helping cultivate my aesthetic sensibility,
[04:23] Tanaka
    but thinking on it, it was probably
    just that he wasn't very expensive.
[04:26] Tanaka
    They bought my brother
    the expensive otaku computer games,
[04:30] Tanaka
    and Maru must've been cheap in comparison.
[04:33] Tanaka
    While doing my best to care for him,
[04:36] Tanaka
    a relationship of trust was born between us.
[04:40] Tanaka
    But back to my story.
[04:41] Tanaka
    My dodo eraser certainly was rare,
[04:43] (Flashback) Student A
    Sato-kun, where'd you get those?
[04:44] Tanaka
    but the erasers that
    I could afford on my allowance
[04:45] (Flashback) Student D
    Wow.
[04:46] Tanaka
    didn't stand a chance
    against Sato's collection.
[04:47] (Flashback) Student E
    Can I touch them?
[04:48] (Flashback) Sato
    Sure.
[04:49] Tanaka
    A tiny handful of students fawned over him,
[04:52] Tanaka
    and I found it unbearably frustrating.
[04:55] Tanaka
    I'd smugly return to using an ordinary
    eraser after trying a bunch of others,
[05:00] Tanaka
    or utter great insights like,
[05:02] Tanaka
    "this is what they use instead of erasers
    at art colleges," while using bread.
[05:05] Tanaka
    But those low-class techniques that I pretended
    were high-class were obviously ineffective,
[05:09] Tanaka
    and every day I tasted defeat.
[05:13] Tanaka
    Then something happened.
SIGN    One-of-a-kind Super Rare Original Donraku Eraser
SIGN    One-of-a-kind Super Rare Original Donraku Eraser
[05:21] (Flashback) Tanaka
    A Donraku eraser...
SIGN    Auctions > Toys > Games > Figures > Erasers
SIGN    One-of-a-kind Super Rare
[05:30] Tanaka
    "This is it," I thought.
[05:31] Tanaka
    There was only one of them in the world.
[05:34] Tanaka
    It was my only chance to turn things around.
[05:36] Tanaka
    I'd show him.
[05:38] Tanaka
    I returned home, and
    once my family was asleep,
[05:41] Tanaka
    I took my father's credit
    card from his wallet
[05:43] Tanaka
    and wrote down his credit card number.
[05:48] Tanaka
    Considering how I was going to pay
    for it, I needed a credit card.
[05:52] Tanaka
    It was a typical card.
    One accessible to everyone.
[05:54] Tanaka
    The kind of card a student might use.
[05:56] Tanaka
    When I learned that later,
    I became a little sentimental,
[06:01] Tanaka
    but that's another story.
[06:03] (Flashback) Sato
    My dad bought this for me
    when he went to Dubai.
[06:07] Tanaka
    Just you wait.
[06:09] Tanaka
    That day, after leaving school,
[06:10] Tanaka
    during the limited period
    when my brother wasn't home,
SIGN    Number of Bids
SIGN    Bidding History
[06:12] Top Right Sign
    Time Remaining
SIGN    3 Days Details
SIGN    Current Price
[06:13] Tanaka
    I prepared myself and registered an account.
SIGN    Place Bid
SIGN    Seller Information
SIGN    Follow
SIGN    No refunds, no returns
SIGN    Overall Rating: 24 | Positive Ratings: 30
[06:15] (Flashback) Tanaka
    3,000 yen, huh?
[06:17] Tanaka
    There were zero bids with
    three days left on the auction.
[06:21] Tanaka
    Since my time at a computer was limited,
[06:24] Tanaka
    I didn't have time to strategize.
[06:25] Tanaka
    I bid immediately.
[06:27] Tanaka
    The price was 3,000 yen.
[06:29] Tanaka
    It was hardly inexpensive for me,
[06:32] Tanaka
    but it was possible that its price
    would rise even higher.
SIGN    Hilarious! Joke Hit Battle!
SIGN    Newbies to Watch: The Walrus
SIGN    Short Skit "Convenience Store"
[06:35] Celebrity A
    What the hell kind of
    employee are you? Enough.
[06:37] Tanaka
    I erased the history and any other
    trace that I'd used the computer
[06:38] Both
    Thank you very much.
[06:41] Tanaka
    and ate dinner with my family
    as though nothing had happened.
[06:43] (Flashback) Tanaka
    Mom, do we have anything for dessert?
[06:45] Tanaka
    At that time, I felt elated, as though
    I'd become a super hacker.
[06:57] Tanaka
    The next day...
[07:02] (Flashback) Tanaka
    It went up.
[07:03] Tanaka
    I had a rival.
[07:05] Tanaka
    In retrospect, this piece of shit
    was hardly worth it.
SIGN    Bid
SIGN    Maximum Bid
SIGN    yen
SIGN    Place Bid
[07:08] Tanaka
    I entered 3,600 yen into the bid field.
[07:12] Tanaka
    On the final day of the auction...
[07:15] (Flashback) Tanaka
    What?
[07:18] (Flashback) Tanaka
    4,000 yen?
[07:19] Tanaka
    My rival was stubborn.
[07:22] Tanaka
    I felt his passion and determination
    to acquire the eraser, no matter the cost.
[07:25] Tanaka
    Battling against an opponent with
    unknown intentions and budget
[07:28] Tanaka
    is the charm of online auctions.
[07:31] Tanaka
    However, I was determined.
[07:33] Tanaka
    I input 4,100 yen.
SIGN    Number of Bids
SIGN    Bidding History
[07:42] Top Right Sign
    Time Remaining
SIGN    12 Minutes Details
SIGN    Current Price
SIGN    Free Shipping
SIGN    Place Bid
[07:43] (Flashback) Tanaka
    Damn it!
[07:47] (Flashback) Tanaka
    There's no time.
SIGN    Bid
SIGN    Maximum Bid
SIGN    yen
SIGN    Place Bid
SIGN    Current Price
SIGN    Yen
SIGN    Free Shipping
SIGN    Place Bid
SIGN    Current Price
SIGN    Yen
SIGN    Free Shipping
SIGN    Place Bid
[07:59] Tanaka
    It was as though I'd been
    arrested on false charges
[08:02] Tanaka
    and was desperately trying
    to prove my own innocence
[08:03] Tanaka
    while the police presented more
    and more physical evidence.
[08:06] Tanaka
    I remember feeling that kind of despair.
[08:10] Tanaka
    No, that's also an exaggeration and a lie.
[08:14] Tanaka
    But it's true that I experienced
    a despair that's difficult to describe.
[08:18] Tanaka
    That's when it happened.
[08:20] (Flashback) Brother
    I'm home.
SIGN    Maximum Bid
SIGN    yen
SIGN    Bid
SIGN    Maximum Bid
SIGN    yen
SIGN    Place Bid
[08:26] (Flashback) Tanaka
    He'll outbid me. I know he'll outbid me.
SIGN    Bid
SIGN    Maximum Bid
SIGN    yen
SIGN    Maximum Bid
SIGN    yen
SIGN    Place Bid
SIGN    Place Bid
[08:48] (Flashback) Brother
    Hey.
[08:51] (Flashback) Tanaka
    There was something I wanted to look up.
[08:54] (Flashback) Brother
    I told you not to touch my stuff!
SIGN    Congratulations! You have won the auction.
SIGN    One-of-a-kind Super Rare Original Donraku Eraser
SIGN    Auction ID: 32976128739 End Time and Date: 9/22 17:32
SIGN    Number of Items: 1 Final Price 100,000 yen
SIGN    Begin Transaction
SIGN    Seller Information ditch-11
[09:02] Tanaka
    It was me. I definitely won the auction.
SIGN    Begin Transaction
SIGN    Seller Information
[09:06] Tanaka
    I had lost my mind.
[09:08] (Flashback) Student A
    Let's play soccer.
[09:10] (Flashback) Student E
    Let's sprint to the field.
[09:13] Tanaka
    In Japan, a group of citizens
    once staged a revolution
[09:17] Tanaka
    due to their discontent
    over the economic divide.
SIGN    What is the Hyakushou Ikki
    Tenant Farmer Uprising?
    Edo Period
    Tenant Farmers
    Feudal Lords
[09:20] Tanaka
    In this classroom, our teacher's efforts
    to prevent the wealth gap from widening
[09:24] Tanaka
    produced a twisted backlash
    in exactly one student.
[09:29] Tanaka
    It wasn't an organized movement
    like an uprising or rebellion.
[09:32] Tanaka
    It was a revolution brought
    about by just one student.
[09:35] Tanaka
    I called it Tanaka's Revolution.
[09:39] Tanaka
    Once again, I returned home
    and messaged the seller
[09:42] Tanaka
    regarding the shipping
    address for the eraser.
[09:44] Tanaka
    All that remained was to wait for
    my original Donraku eraser to arrive.
SIGN    Tanaka
[09:51] Tanaka
    One week passed.
[09:55] Tanaka
    One month passed.
[09:58] Tanaka
    My original Donraku eraser had not arrived.
[10:01] Tanaka
    I recalled the words
    "no refunds, no returns."
[10:04] Tanaka
    I realized now that there were
    plenty of things I could have done.
[10:06] (Flashback) Handsome
    Maki-chan, let's compare answers.
[10:07] Tanaka
    But at the time, I was bound firmly
    by the words "no refunds, no returns,"
[10:08] (Flashback) Fighter
    You just want to copy her homework.
[10:09] (Flashback) Artist
    I always let you see my homework.
[10:12] Tanaka
    and had no options.
[10:14] Tanaka
    Besides, I consented
    to bidding on the eraser.
[10:16] Tanaka
    I had no right to demand compensation,
    and I had nothing to return.
[10:21] Tanaka
    Sato and the rest of my classmates
    had already lost interest in erasers.
[10:26] Tanaka
    Third-year grade school
    students grow up fast.
[10:33] Tanaka
    And when my father reviewed
    his credit card statement,
[10:36] Tanaka
    he beat me to a pulp.
[10:38] Tanaka
    As he was beating me,
    I wondered whose fault this was.
[10:43] Tanaka
    My teacher. My classmates.
[10:45] Tanaka
    Sato. My brother. My father.
[10:48] Tanaka
    The seller. The bidder.
[10:50] Tanaka
    Me. My country. History.
[10:53] Tanaka
    Civilization. The government.
[10:55] Tanaka
    God.
[10:57] Tanaka
    No matter how I looked at it,
    it was clearly my fault.
[11:00] Tanaka
    And if there was a loser
    in this situation...
[11:01] (Flashback) Mom
    Honey, honey!
[11:03] Tanaka
    ...it was me.
[11:06] Tanaka
    And so, Tanaka's Revolution ended.
[11:11] Tanaka
    Returning to a previous topic,
[11:13] Tanaka
    since then, I've come to despise
    anything without a real form
[11:16] Tanaka
    as well as competing with others.
[11:17] (Flashback) Coworker F
    Good night.
[11:18] (Flashback) Tanaka
    Good night.
[11:20] Tanaka
    Games are meant to be played alone.
[11:22] Tanaka
    All alone, battling against the developer.
SIGN    Raise slimes...
SIGN    Let's bike!
SIGN    Purchase
SIGN    Dragon Slayer
SIGN    Exhilarating action
SIGN    Purchase
SIGN    Purchase
[11:28] Tanaka
    That's when I encountered a certain game.
SIGN    Zoological Garden
SIGN    Gather and raise animals...
SIGN    Purchase
SIGN    Sengokusou
SIGN    Live with generals Purchase
SIGN    Purchase
[11:31] Tanaka
    Zoological Garden,
    commonly known as "Zooden."*
SIGN    < Back
SIGN    Zoological Garden
SIGN    Purchase
SIGN    3245 Reviews
[11:34] Tanaka*
    You raise unique animals
    and put them in exhibits.
[11:37] Tanaka
    As zoo director, you compete
    for ranks on a worldwide scale.
[11:41] Tanaka
    I had plenty of fun playing
    as much as I could for free.
[11:45] Tanaka
    I think collecting erasers back then
    became the basis for this.
[11:48] Tanaka
    My rank was awful, but I was
    happy when I gained guests,
[11:52] Tanaka
    and when I acquired a rare animal,
    my brain tingled dangerously.
SIGN    Super Rare
SIGN    Snow Leopard
[11:58] Tanaka
    There was a character
    I was determined to acquire.
[12:01] Tanaka
    The dodo.
SIGN    Dodo
SIGN    A now-extinct species of bird that once lived on Mauritius Island off of Madagascar. Due to its underdeveloped wings, it cannot fly.
SIGN    Attractiveness
SIGN    Care Difficulty
[12:01] Sign Left
    Maintenance Cost 200 fpt Exhibit Area 12 Squares
SIGN    Not yet acquired!
[12:02] Tanaka
    In the game, the rarity of animals were ranked
[12:05] Tanaka
    using terms such as Normal or Rare.
[12:07] Tanaka
    As an extinct species,
[12:09] Tanaka
    the dodo was Special Super Rare.
[12:11] Tanaka
    Apparently it could be pulled
    from the free gacha,
[12:13] Tanaka
    but the odds were extremely low.
[12:15] Tanaka
    Looking back, I took part in eraser
    collecting because I had the dodo,
[12:19] Tanaka
    and I was playing Zooden in order
    to acquire the dodo.
[12:23] Tanaka
    When I made that comparison,
[12:24] Tanaka
    I felt as though it was
    my destiny to acquire it.
[12:29] Tanaka
    Maybe I'd spend a little money.
[12:31] Tanaka
    I figured that would be it.
[12:33] Tanaka
    I added 500 yen to my account
    and pulled the gacha.
SIGN    Purchase Hagenbecks
SIGN    6 Hagenbecks
SIGN    24 Hagenbecks
SIGN    68 Hagenbecks
SIGN    Dugong
[12:39] Tanaka
    The Dugong. Endangered species. Super Rare.
SIGN    Super Rare
[12:43] Tanaka
    I think I'd already lost
    all restraint by this point.
[12:46] Tanaka
    I looked at my own rank.
[12:48] Tanaka
    It was terrible as usual,
SIGN    World Ranking
[12:50] Tanaka
    but out of curiosity, I looked
    to see who was number one.
[13:00] (Flashback) Tanaka
    ditch-11...
[13:03] Tanaka
    It was the name that conned me
    out of 100,000 yen back then.
[13:06] Tanaka
    No, maybe it didn't arrive
    because of trouble during shipping.
[13:11] Tanaka
    Besides, I bore them no resentment at all.
[13:15] Tanaka
    It wasn't even necessarily the same person.
[13:18] Tanaka
    But. But.
[13:22] Tanaka
    I couldn't believe that it was coincidence
    I'd been reunited with this string of letters.
[13:25] Tanaka
    I felt that it was destiny.
[13:28] Tanaka
    If I were to take revenge,
    it would be on my past self.
[13:31] Tanaka
    And it would be my present self
    who would save my past self.
[13:36] Tanaka
    I added 100,000 yen.
[13:42] Tanaka
    If I were to take revenge,
    it would be on my past self.
[13:46] Tanaka
    And it would be my present self
    who would save my past self.
[13:52] Tanaka
    That was four years ago.
[13:54] Tanaka
    I'm still playing Zooden*.
[13:57] Tanaka
    Thanks to the addition of new systems
[13:59] Tanaka
    and events reflecting the real*
    world keeping the game fresh,
[14:02] Tanaka
    its content is still popular
    around the world.
[14:06] Coworker F
    Good morning.
[14:10] Boss B
    I'd like to acquire new users
    with a new design.
[14:11] Tanaka
    In total, I've spent over
    five million yen on this game.
[14:14] Coworker I
    We need to capture people's interest.
[14:14] Tanaka
    My rank is still only in the triple digits.
[14:16] Coworker D
    Why don't we conduct some research?
[14:17] Tanaka
    I still don't have a dodo.
[14:18] Coworker H
    Good idea.
[14:19] Coworker G
    We're spending our budget on research?
[14:21] Coworker E
    But we have to.
[14:23] Boss A
    Hey, Tanaka. Are you listening?
[14:26] Coworker B
    Tanaka-kun?
[14:28] Boss A
    Tanaka!
[14:29] Coworker A
    Tanaka-kun!
[14:30] Coworker D
    Tanaka!
[14:30] Coworker E
    Tanaka!
[14:31] Text
    The bird that went extinct
    without ever learning to fly.
[14:31] Coworker H
    Tanaka!
[14:34] Tanaka
    Perhaps I was projecting myself onto it.
[14:36] Tanaka
    It was just like me.
[14:38] Tanaka
    No, if I died here without achieving
    anything, I wouldn't even be Rare.
[14:43] Tanaka
    I'd be just Normal.
SIGN    Buy/Sell Zoological Garden Account
SIGN    Purchase
SIGN    Account with numerous Super Rare characters
     Seller: tarou
    
    
     First come, first served!
    3 Super Rare characters
     Seller: sakio
    
    
    Assortment of 5 Super Rare characters
     Seller: kinopi_22
[14:45] Tanaka
    As a game that enjoys worldwide popularity,
SIGN    Account with 10 3-star characters
    Seller: yakitori45
    
    Great deal! Account
    with numerous endangered species
    Seller: tarou
    
    First come, first served!
    10 Super Rare characters
    Seller: kondo11
    
    Assortment of 20 Limited Rare characters
    Seller: kitanotakeshifan
[14:48] Tanaka
    its market size is naturally large.
[14:50] Tanaka
    There are even intermediaries
    who buy and sell entire accounts.
[14:54] Tanaka
    My triple-digit-ranked account
    that I've spend over five million yen on
[14:58] Tanaka
    would only sell for a few hundred thousand.
[15:00] Tanaka
    If ditch-11's account
    appeared on the market,
[15:03] Tanaka
    it would go for a lot of money.
[15:06] Tanaka
    An account with a dodo could be mine
    for several tens of thousands of yen.
[15:10] Tanaka
    But that's not it. It's not the same.
[15:13] Tanaka
    "What is it about, then?" I ask myself.
[15:17] Tanaka
    The romance? The catharsis?
[15:19] Tanaka
    The release from oppression?
[15:21] Tanaka
    The need for social recognition?
[15:22] Tanaka
    The desire to feel superior to one's peers?
[15:24] Tanaka
    I try on gussied-up words
    and phrases for size.
[15:27] Tanaka
    No. The truth is, I already know.
[15:30] Tanaka
    I know those fancy words don't apply.
[15:34] Tanaka
    It's simpler than that. Yes.
[15:37] Tanaka
    A sickness. It's a sickness.
[15:41] Tanaka
    Shut up!
[15:41] Coworker C
    I didn't say anything...
[15:44] Tanaka
    I'd begun spending tens of thousands of
    yen on the game like it was nothing at all.
[15:48] Tanaka
    I was completely numb.
[15:50] Tanaka
    Everything I did was
    to get my hands on a dodo.
[15:52] Tanaka
    To get revenge on the boy
    I was 16 years ago and save him.
[15:56] Tanaka
    And to get closer to ditch-11,
[15:58] Tanaka
    who continues to reign
    from the number one spot.
[16:01] Tanaka
    You just wait, ditch-11.
SIGN    Super Rare
SIGN    Red Panda
SIGN    Super Rare
SIGN    Okapi
SIGN    Ultra Rare
SIGN    Dodo
SIGN    Ultra Rare
SIGN    Dodo
[16:37] Tanaka
    A dodo...
SIGN    Ultra Rare
SIGN    Dodo
[16:39] Tanaka
    My four years...
[16:42] Tanaka
    No, my 16 years...
[16:46] Tanaka
    It finally paid off!
[16:48] Tanaka
    Yes! I did it! A dodo!
[17:18] Clerk
    Your backed up data
    has been restored—
SIGN    Snow Leopard
SIGN    Dugong
SIGN    Dodo
SIGN    Animal List
SIGN    Dodo
[17:36] Tanaka
    My mind went blank.
[17:38] Tanaka
    I couldn't think.
[17:40] Tanaka
    I don't remember walking home.
[17:43] Tanaka
    The loss I felt over the dodo
    I had definitely acquired
[17:46] Tanaka
    robbed me of all my willpower.
[17:49] Tanaka
    But fate is cruel, and God had
    taken something else from me.
[17:59] Tanaka
    I think that's when the blue flame
    inside of me finally came to life.
[18:05] Tanaka
    At the very least, it wasn't God
    who took my dodo from me.
[18:09] Tanaka
    It was that taxi.
[18:11] Tanaka
    It's not as though someone
    took Maru from me, either.
[18:15] Tanaka
    The life expectancy of a
    cockatiel is about 15 years.
[18:17] Tanaka
    He lived a full life.
[18:19] Tanaka
    It just happened to be today.
[18:22] Tanaka
    But sometimes, thinking about
    this unfortunate coincidence
[18:26] Tanaka
    makes me wonder if there is a God.
[18:31] Tanaka
    In games, often the player
    acquires a valuable item
[18:33] Tanaka
    just when they think
    they've reached a dead end.
[18:36] Tanaka
    It's convenient. Of course it is.
[18:39] Tanaka
    After all, somebody made it that way.
[18:41] Tanaka
    Then there must be someone
    who made this world, too.
[18:44] Tanaka
    Perhaps this world has been programmed.
[18:48] Tanaka
    Hey, God. It's you.
[18:53] Tanaka
    This happened three days ago.
[18:59] Tanaka
    Taxi... Kill... Maru... Dodo...
[19:08] Shibagaki
    Ow. Hold on, buddy.
[19:11] Shibagaki
    Apologize when you bump into someone.
[19:13] Shibagaki
    That's common sense.
[19:15] Shibagaki
    Don't you think?
[19:20] Shibagaki
    Wait, wait. Hold on, buddy.
[19:23] Shibagaki
    What's wrong? You've got
    the face of a murderer.
[19:27] Shibagaki
    Sorry. I'm just curious
    due to the nature of my job.
[19:30] Tanaka
    Hey, you. You're from the countryside.
    Why'd you come out here?
[19:34] Shibagaki
    The countryside?
[19:35] Shibagaki
    I guess compared to Tokyo,
    it is the countryside.
[19:38] Tanaka
    Are you chasing a dream or something?
[19:40] Shibagaki
    That's right. I came to Tokyo for
     status, glory, and big money.
[19:45] Tanaka
    But, you still haven't gotten those.
[19:48] Shibagaki
    Well, Rome wasn't built in a day.
[19:50] Tanaka
    What do you think you need
    to do to get them?
[19:52] Shibagaki
    If I knew that, my life would be easy.
[19:55] Shibagaki
    My partner said it's luck, though.
[19:57] Tanaka
    Your partner?
[19:59] Shibagaki
    He's like my business partner.
[20:01] Tanaka
    Luck, huh? You're right.
[20:04] Shibagaki
    Maybe luck is involved,
[20:07] Shibagaki
    but I don't want to give up
    on the things I can control.
[20:10] Shibagaki
    There's plenty to consider besides luck
[20:12] Shibagaki
    when trying to figure out how to survive.
[20:14] Tanaka
    You're saying the dodo was unlucky, then.
[20:17] Shibagaki
    What?
[20:22] Shibagaki
    What does that mean?
[20:23] Shibagaki
    I thought you and I were
    following the same road.
[20:26] Shibagaki
    You're telling me we were actually
    on the highway and subway?
[20:31] Tanaka
    I feel like I've always been
    searching for something.
[20:34] Tanaka
    At the same time, my life has
    always been lacking something.
[20:39] Tanaka
    And desperately acquiring that something
    yields only a moment of pleasure.
[20:45] Tanaka
    Far from being good fortune,
[20:48] Tanaka
    it's simply a moment of pleasure
    produced by the release of dopamine.
[20:53] Tanaka
    And?
[20:55] Tanaka
    The single word that always follows
    after I've acquired something I want.
[21:00] Tanaka
    "And?"
[21:01] Tanaka
    "So, what?" my other self asks me.
[21:05] Tanaka
    It's always there,
    hand-in-hand with nihilism.
[21:08] Tanaka
    A truly formless pleasure.
[21:11] Tanaka
    But right now, I'm experiencing being alive.
[21:15] Tanaka
    It's because I found what I wanted
    the moment I lost my dodo.
[21:20] Tanaka
    Unlike before,
[21:21] Tanaka
    it wasn't just an addition to my
    collection that ended once acquired.
[21:24] Tanaka
    What shall I do next?
[21:27] Tanaka
    Just thinking about it excites me.
[21:30] Tanaka
    It's a Rare Item with
    potential for development.
[21:33] Tanaka
    I believe everyone possesses
    the impulse to attack.
[21:36] Tanaka
    An impulse to attack that's
    more exciting and justified
[21:39] Tanaka
    the less you are to blame.
[21:43] Tanaka
    I've been walking for three days since then.
[21:46] Tanaka
    I'm used to chasing odds
    far more mind-boggling.
[21:50] Tanaka
    But this time, it's different.
[21:52] Tanaka
    I felt something like a premonition.
[21:54] Tanaka
    Earlier, I said that I could seize it
    if I let go of my attachments,
[21:57] Tanaka
    but there's another way
    to acquire what I want.
[22:01] Tanaka
    And that is by holding tightly
[22:05] Tanaka
    onto a powerful attachment
    that transcends all else.
[22:12] Shibagaki
    Hey, you! What are you trying to do?
SIGN    Next Time: Don't Call Me an Idol
[23:35] Shibagaki
    I've never actually seen
    someone point them all out
[23:37] Shibagaki
    when they say something
    is full of mistakes or flaws.
[23:40] Shibagaki
    Why don't you carefully verbalize
    each and every one of them, huh?
[23:42] Shibagaki
    Probably too stupid to do it.
[23:44] Odokawa
    You're pretty drunk.
[23:45] Shibagaki
    Man, maybe I'll win the lottery.
[23:47] Odokawa
    Your job is like a lottery.

E5 - Don't Call Me an Idol

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Fried Chicken
SIGN    Don't Call Me an Idol
[01:32] Yamamoto
    Hello? Mitsuya, where are you?
[01:34] Yamamoto
    I told you, the lesson starts at seven.
[01:37] Yamamoto
    I'll come pick you up. Stay there.
SIGN    Vacant Taxi
[01:46] Yamamoto
    To Harajuku Station, please.
[01:48] Yamamoto
    And hurry. Drive right up
    to the speed limit.
[01:51] Odokawa
    Why are you in such a rush?
[01:52] Yamamoto
    I'm picking someone up and need to
    get to the studio in Sasazuka by seven.
[01:55] Odokawa
    You'll make it with time to spare.
[01:57] Yamamoto
    Well, I'm picking up two people.
[01:59] Odokawa
    Huh...
[02:18] Yamamoto
    Over here.
[02:22] Yamamoto
    Driver, take us to the studio in Sasazuka.
[02:25] Yamamoto
    Drive quickly, but safely.
[02:31] Mitsuya
    Yamamoto-san, where's my fried chicken?
[02:33] Yamamoto
    Here.
[02:33] Mitsuya
    All right. Thanks for the food.
[02:36] Yamamoto
    Don't eat too much.
[02:37] Yamamoto
    If you gain five kilos, you're fired.
[02:39] Mitsuya
    I know.
[02:42] Odokawa
    You like fried chicken?
[02:44] Mitsuya
    Yeah. I'm from Oita.
[02:46] Odokawa
    Is that related somehow?
[02:48] Odokawa
    Does that mean everyone from
     Hokkaido likes soup curry?
[02:52] Mitsuya
    I have an attachment to it.
    It's my soul food.
[02:58] Odokawa
    What's soul food?
[03:00] Mitsuya
    I don't know. It's just a feeling.
[03:03] Yamamoto
    It's like local cuisine or the taste
    of your mother's cooking, right?
[03:07] Mitsuya
    Yeah. The fried chicken my mom
    used to make was so good.
[03:13] Mitsuya
    Is Nikaido-san coming today?
[03:15] Yamamoto
    She's showing up late.
[03:17] Mitsuya
    Don't you think she gets
    too much special treatment?
[03:19] Mitsyua
    Lucky... I wish I got the same.
[03:21] Yamamoto
    Keep working at it, Mitsuya.
[03:22] Yamamoto
    Didn't you promise your mom you'd follow
    your dreams when you came to Tokyo?
[03:25] Mitsuya
    Yeah, but...
[03:27] Mitsuya
    Hey, a fried chicken restaurant!
[03:36] Yamamoto
    Head inside and start
    practicing by yourself.
[03:39] Mitsuya
    Aw, what?
[03:40] Yamamoto
    Don't whine. You're the newest, Mitsuya.
[03:43] Yamamoto
    You need to work harder than the others.
[03:45] Mitsuya
    Fine...
[03:47] Yamamoto
    Give me a minute, driver.
[03:49] Yamamoto
    Ichimura? Where are you?
[03:52] Yamamoto
    At a public bath in Ogikubo?
[03:54] Yamamoto
    Excuse me, could you head to Ogikubo?
[03:56] Yamamoto
    What are you doing? I told you to be
    at the studio in Sasazuka at seven.
[04:01] Yamamoto
    Just head someplace I can find you easily.
[04:07] Odokawa
    Sounds like a tough time.
[04:09] Yamamoto
    Handling girls requires
    careful consideration.
[04:12] Odokawa
    I didn't think we'd be
    picking them up separately.
[04:15] Yamamoto
    I deal with this kind of thing all the time.
[04:17] Yamamoto
    Like pairings and seating arrangements...
[04:19] Yamamoto
    I thought it'd be better
    to keep them separate.
SIGN    Public Bath
[04:27] Yamamoto
    You were visiting the baths again?
[04:29] Ichimura
    Yeah.
[04:32] Yamamoto
    Hey, Driver. Take us back to that studio.
[04:35] Yamamoto
    Here. It's that bath
    additive you mentioned before.
[04:37] Ichimura
    Thanks.
[04:41] Yamamoto
    What's wrong, Driver? Let's get going.
[04:44] Odokawa
    I feel like I've seen her before.
[04:47] Yamamoto
    Where?
[04:48] Odokawa
    I'm not sure. Maybe on TV.
[04:51] Yamamoto
    If you recognize her face, you must've come
    to her concert before she debuted.
[04:55] Yamamoto
    She keeps her face hidden.
[04:57] Odokawa
    Is she an idol or something?
[04:59] Odokawa
    That's not it, then.
    I've never been to a concert.
[05:03] Yamamoto
    Forget what happened today, Driver.
[05:06] Yamamoto
    One way or another, she'll
    become a public figure someday.
[05:08] Odokawa
    I consider myself something
    like an authentic bartender.
[05:11] Yamamoto
    You mean you've heard a lot of things.
[05:19] Yamamoto
    Are you tired?
[05:22] Ichimura
    Is Nikaido-san coming?
[05:24] Yamamoto
    Later.
[05:26] Ichimura
    I can't keep up with her ambition.
[05:29] Yamamoto
    You can work at your own pace.
[05:32] Ichimura
    She's incredible. I bet she'd
    kill someone just to get ahead.
[05:36] Ichimura
    She probably already has, honestly.
[05:38] Yamamoto
    What are you talking about?
[05:41] Ichimura
    Maybe I'm not suited to this job.
[05:45] Yamamoto
    There you go again.
[05:47] Ichimura
    I don't know what my purpose is anymore.
[05:50] Ichimura
    I'm not as alluring as Nikaido-san,
[05:52] Ichimura
    and I'm not good
    at dancing like Mitsuya-san.
[05:55] Yamamoto
    You've got your own strengths, Ichimura.
[05:58] Ichimura
    Like what?
[05:59] Yamamoto
    Well, uh...
[06:02] Yamamoto
    You know, you're charming and innocent.
[06:07] Yamamoto
    You've got a cute face, too.
[06:08] Ichimura
    Don't I wear a mask because
    I'm not cute, though?
[06:10] Yamamoto
    No. It's the agency's strategy.
    Try to understand, would you?
[06:13] Ichimura
    Exchanging messages with
    old dudes is exhausting, too—
[06:16] Yamamoto
    Hey.
[06:21] Yamamoto
    Mitsuya's already inside.
[06:24] Ichimura
    I don't like her. I liked
    things better before.
[06:27] Yamamoto
    Ichimura.
[06:28] Yamamoto
    Your innocence is your strength,
    but consider the time, place, and occasion.
[06:34] Yamamoto
    Driver, to the office in Kamimeguro.
[06:37] Driver
    Boy, am I delighted.
[06:39] Driver
    As a taxi driver, that's the number
    one thing I want someone to say to me.
[06:42] Driver
    "Follow that car."
[06:47] Yamamoto
    It's hard. It's hard work, Driver.
[06:51] Yamamoto
    But I want to show them
    the view from the top.
[06:55] Odokawa
    Huh...
[06:56] Yamamoto
    I've got a chance.
[06:58] Odokawa
    A chance?
[06:59] Yamamoto
    That girl I mentioned earlier, Rui Nikaido,
    is a pure carbon gemstone.
[07:04] Odokawa
    I've heard of Rui Nikaido.
[07:07] Odokawa
    I think a passenger mentioned her.
[07:09] Yamamoto
    I'm not talking about a diamond in the rough.
    She's a proper carbon gemstone.
[07:13] Odokawa
    Why not promote her alone, then?
[07:15] Yamamoto
    That's not how things work these days.
[07:17] Yamamoto
    You have to promote them as a group.
[07:19] Yamamoto
    And besides, while I feel bad for
     the girls you drove earlier,
[07:22] Yamamoto
    you need people to prop up a carbon
    gemstone so it can shine even brighter.
[07:26] Yamamoto
    In other words, I'm a jewelry designer
    working with a carbon gemstone.
[07:30] Yamamoto
    Without me, it's difficult for
     the world to spot carbon gemstones.
[07:33] Odokawa
    Just call it a diamond.
[07:38] Yamamoto
    By the way, Driver,
    could I get your business card?
[07:41] Yamamoto
    Ideally, I'd like to use the same
     person to drive them around.
[07:44] Yamamoto
    You seem tight-lipped, too.
[07:46] Odokawa
    I won't always be available,
    so don't get your hopes up.
SIGN    Driver
    Hiroshi Odokawa
[07:52] Yamamoto
    Also, Driver, you should help us advertise.
[07:55] Yamamoto
    Could you keep our fliers in your taxi?
SIGN    Mystery Kiss
[07:59] Odokawa
    People actually want them?
[08:00] Yamamoto
    I wouldn't have to work so
    hard if success came easily.
[08:02] Odokawa
    Is your office in Kamimeguro the place
    with the bar on the first floor?
[08:07] Yamamoto
    Yeah, that's it. You know the place?
[08:10] Odokawa
    I was just thinking about
    how I once drove a girl there.
[08:14] Yamamoto
    What? When?
[08:16] Odokawa
    About two weeks ago, I think.
[08:19] Odokawa
    She must've been from your agency.
[08:23] Yamamoto
    It was probably one of
     the girls you drove today.
[08:27] Yamamoto
    The only group we manage is Mystery Kiss.
[08:30] Odokawa
    Maybe.
[08:32] Odokawa
    Girls that age, especially ones trying
    to be idols, all look the same to me.
[08:40] Yamamoto
    You said you recognized
    the second girl, Shiho Ichimura.
[08:44] Yamamoto
    It must've been her.
[08:45] Odokawa
    She's a calico cat. The other girl
    was a little different.
[08:57] Odokawa
    We're here. This is it, right?
[08:59] Yamamoto
    You're sure?
[09:00] Odokawa
    About what?
[09:01] Yamamoto
    Where you dropped off that girl.
[09:03] Yamamoto
    You're sure it was at this office?
[09:04] Odokawa
    Yeah.
[09:11] Odokawa
    That'll be 11,940 yen.
SIGN    Driver
    Hiroshi Odokawa
[09:13] Yamamoto
    Listen, Driver.
[09:15] Odokawa
    Huh?
[09:17] Yamamoto
    Does this car have a recording device?
[09:23] Odokawa
    Why?
[09:24] Yamamoto
    Sometimes you see them in the news.
[09:26] Yamamoto
    You know, in stories about robberies.
[09:29] Odokawa
    Yeah, I've got one.
[09:31] Yamamoto
    Any chance I could get your data?
[09:33] Yamamoto
    I thought it might be interesting
    to include some candid shots
[09:36] Yamamoto
    of the girls in a taxi for our next PV.
[09:38] Odokawa
    Their faces are visible, though.
[09:39] Yamamoto
    We'll edit around that.
[09:41] Yamamoto
    I'll pay, of course.
[09:44] Odokawa
    You can have their data.
[09:46] Yamamoto
    No, I want all of it.
[09:50] Odokawa
    I can't make that decision by myself.
[09:53] Odokawa
    I'll consider it if I can
    settle the privacy issues.
[09:58] Yamamoto
    Fine.
[10:02] Yamamoto
    I'll be in touch.
[10:04] Yamamoto
    And I appreciate your cooperation
    regarding today and going forward.
[10:07] Odokawa
    Sure. I'm not that
    interested, so don't worry.
[10:34] Driver
    Thank you for riding.
SIGN    Goriki Clinic
[10:53] Goriki
    Sorry I had to ask you to come in.
[10:55] Odokawa
    Clinics are terrifying at night.
[10:59] Goriki
    Well, Odokawa? Have you been sleeping well?
[11:01] Odokawa
    Thanks to you, I haven't been.
[11:04] Odokawa
    You haven't prescribed me more medication.
[11:07] Odokawa
    What's with calling me in for
     a consultation at this hour?
[11:09] Goriki
    You could go to another clinic.
    They'd give you the same medication.
[11:13] Goriki
    If I were a hairdresser, maybe I'd think,
[11:15] Goriki
    "I've been building my vision for
    this guy's hairstyle for so long,
[11:18] Goriki
    and this asshole went to another salon."
[11:20] Goriki
    "He ruined everything."
[11:23] Goriki
    But I don't run a salon. I run a clinic.
[11:26] Odokawa
    That was a lot of words for a boring payoff.
[11:30] Goriki
    I'm going to be closing
    the clinic for a while.
[11:33] Odokawa
    Why?
[11:34] Goriki
    My medications aren't adding up.
[11:38] Odokawa
    Were they stolen?
[11:40] Goriki
    Yeah. Apparently it's been
    happening for a long time.
[11:43] Odokawa
    Did you call the police?
[11:44] Goriki
    No. Apparently it's an inside job.
[11:48] Goriki
    If this gets out, I'll go from
     victim to perpetrator.
[11:52] Goriki
    I'm thinking about closing the clinic
    so I can pretend it didn't happen.
[11:56] Odokawa
    You're doing it to protect yourself.
[11:59] Goriki
    It's embarrassing to admit, but yes.
[12:03] Odokawa
    Not to protect Shirakawa-san.
[12:06] Goriki
    Nobody said it was Shirakawa-san.
[12:10] Odokawa
    She's been having money problems.
[12:13] Goriki
    That's not enough to accuse her.
[12:17] Odokawa
    I remembered something.
[12:19] Odokawa
    A little while ago,
    after dropping off a hippo guy,
[12:22] Odokawa
    I saw Dobu and Shirakawa-san
    together in an alley at night.
[12:27] Odokawa
    Dobu knew about
    Shirakawa-san. It makes sense.
[12:31] Goriki
    You got a good look at them?
[12:32] Odokawa
    I saw Shirakawa-san from behind.
[12:34] Goriki
    You don't know it was her, then.
[12:36] Goriki
    And it was at night.
[12:38] Goriki
    There are plenty of people
    who look like her from behind.
[12:41] Odokawa
    No, I could tell it was her.
[12:47] Goriki
    You've changed, Odokawa.
[12:52] Goriki
    It's like you've warmed up recently.
[12:55] Odokawa
    I'm gonna go.
[12:57] Goriki
    Where?
[13:01] Odokawa
    Unusually enough, two people
    asked to meet me today.
[13:04] Odokawa
    You, and...
[13:17] Dobu
    Hey.
[13:22] Odokawa
    Couldn't you have picked
    a better place to meet?
[13:24] Dobu
    What's wrong with here?
[13:29] Dobu
    You figured out who wants
    your dash cam data?
[13:32] Odokawa
    First, I have question for you.
[13:35] Odbu
    Sure. That's the only one
    I'm answering, though.
[13:38] Odokawa
    You always try to dominate the situation.
[13:41] Dobu
    That's how negotiations work.
[13:44] Odokawa
    I'm the one helping you, here.
[13:47] Dobu
    I thought we had a deal.
[13:50] Odokawa
    Huh? Has there always been
    an Orvis speed camera here?
[13:52] Dobu
    Well, there goes your one question.
[13:54] Dobu
    You're the type who'd waste his wishes
     if he found a magic lamp.
[13:57] Odokawa
    That wasn't a question for you,
    it was a spur-of-the-moment inquiry.
[14:00] Odokawa
    I'm sure the genie would understand.
[14:02] Dobu
    Whatever. What's your question?
[14:05] Odokawa
    You and Shirakawa-san
    are connected somehow. Right?
[14:12] Odokawa
    If you don't answer me
    honestly, I'm not telling you.
[14:15] Odokawa
    You used Shirakawa-san to threaten me.
[14:19] Odokawa
    If you and Shirakawa-san are connected,
    then the premise doesn't hold.
[14:25] Dobu
    Yeah, that's right.
[14:27] Odokawa
    You told Shirakawa-san
    to approach me, didn't you?
[14:30] Dobu
    I don't know crap about that.
    She did that on her own.
[14:34] Odokawa
    Shirakawa-san's been stealing
    medication from Goriki Clinic.
[14:38] Odokawa
    You've been selling them illegally
    for money. Am I right?
[14:42] Dobu
    That's a lot of questions.
[14:44] Dobu
    Including the Orvis one,
     that's your fourth.
[14:46] Odokawa
    Answer me.
[14:48] Dobu
    That's mostly correct.
[14:50] Odokawa
    That's cheap work. No wonder
    Yano looks down on you.
[14:54] Dobu
    I'm the one shouldering Shirakawa's debt,
    and she's paying me back.
[14:59] Dobu
    That's all there is to it. It's not a job.
[15:01] Dobu
    I answered your questions.
    Now it's your turn.
[15:05] Odokawa
    Now that I know that, there's no reason
    for me to keep my promise, is there?
[15:08] Dobu
    C'mon, I'm surrounded by enemies.
[15:11] Dobu
    I've made blunder after
    blunder. I'm desperate.
[15:13] Dobu
    I lost something important
    that the boss gave me.
[15:16] Dobu
    And recently, a video of some
    amateur claiming he'll catch me
[15:20] Dobu
    has gotten ten million views.
    I'm having an awful time.
[15:23] Odokawa
    Really? You're famous.
[15:26] Dobu
    If I don't get the name of the
    guy who wanted your dash cam data,
[15:31] Dobu
    I'll have to kill you.
[15:34] Dobu
    How will I kill you? Well, let's see.
[15:37] Dobu
    Why don't I tie up your arms and legs,
    throw you into an empty tub,
[15:41] Dobu
    and slowly fill it with water?
[15:46] Dobu
    Thankfully, I'm quite good at figuring
    out exactly what people don't like.
[15:53] Odokawa
    It's Mystery Kiss's manager.
[15:55] Dobu
    Mystery Kiss?
[15:57] Odokawa
    Their fliers are back there.
[16:02] Dobu
    Yano. That asshole.
[16:03] Dobu
    He was sticking his paws into this, too?
[16:05] Dobu
    So, what did this manager say?
[16:08] Odokawa
    He asked me to sell him
    the data so he could use it in a PV.
[16:11] Dobu
    Does that mean one of them
    is the boss's classmate's daughter?
[16:16] Dobu
    It could be a good idea to sell him the data
    with the parts he wants cut from it.
[16:21] Dobu
    See how much he'll pay for it.
[16:24] Odokawa
    I'm not getting involved in your business.
[16:27] Odokawa
    Do what you want with the information.
    It's none of my business.
[16:30] Odokawa
    Stay away from me.
[16:32] Dobu
    Hey, are you really that
    upset about Shirakawa?
[16:53] Ichimura
    Kakki, do you come
    to places like this often?
[16:55] Kakihana
    Well, I mean, I might come once a month.
[17:00] Ichimura
    Wow, I've never been anywhere like this.
[17:03] Kakihana
    Oh, yeah?
[17:08] Kakihana
    Excuse me. Could I get
    another glass, please?
[17:11] Woman A
    Seriously?
[17:12] Woman B
    Don't laugh.
[17:16] Kakihana
    Shiho-chan, when are you the happiest?
[17:20] Ichimura
    When I'm in the bath.
[17:22] Kakihana
    Really? You like baths, huh?
[17:28] Ichimura
    I grew up poor, with a lot of siblings.
[17:31] Ichimura
    The only place I could
    be alone was in the bath.
[17:35] Kakihana
    Poor, huh?
[17:37] Ichimura
    I asked Santa for bath
    additives for Christmas.
[17:40] Ichimura
    You know, those ones that fizz up.
[17:42] Kakihana
    I see. That's... kind of cute.
[17:46] Ichimura
    Is the bath at your house
    as amazing as I think it is?
[17:48] Ichimura
    Can you stretch your legs out?
[17:50] Kakihana
    Huh? Uh, yeah.
[17:51] Kakihana
    It's got jets and stuff. Of course it does.
[17:53] Ichimura
    Really? Can you watch TV from the bath, too?
[17:56] Kakihana
    Of course.
[17:58] Ichimura
    I'd like to visit.
[18:00] Kakihana
    Huh? Wh-What? Uh, I think it's maybe
    still a little too soon for that.
[18:04] Kakihana
    L-L-Listen, why don't we go to
     Yufuin sometime instead?
[18:07] Ichimura
    I'd love to go. Where's Yufuin?
[18:10] Kakihana
    Oita Prefecture. It's a short flight away.
[18:12] Ichimura
    Do you have a private jet
    or something, Kakki?
[18:16] Kakihana
    I'm not that rich.
[18:19] Ichimura
    Aw, shucks.
[18:23] Kakihana
    Shiho-chan, you're a college student, right?
[18:27] Ichimura
    That's right.
[18:29] Kakihana
    You're so young.
[18:31] Kakihana
    Why are you getting ma... mar...
[18:35] Waiter
    Thank you for waiting.
[18:37] Kakihana
    Thanks.
[18:39] Waiter
    You don't need to hold your glass.
[18:41] Kakihana
    Oh, so that's how you guys do things.
[18:46] Waiter
    Enjoy.
[18:48] Ichimura
    So, what were we talking about?
[18:51] Kakihana
    Shiho-chan, do you actually
    want to get married?
[18:56] Ichimura
    Yeah. It's always been
    my dream to get married.
[18:59] Ichimura
    I think the sooner I can, the better.
[19:02] Ichimura
    Being surprised with
    an engagement ring would be amazing.
[19:09] Kakihana
    In that case, would you—
[19:11] Ichimura
    Hey, look at this.
SIGN    Imai@Nikaido fan account
    @Nikaidorui_love – 1 day ago
     I can't stop shaking...
[19:15] Ichimura
    It says he won one billion yen.
    Do you think it's true?
[19:18] Kakihana
    One billion yen, huh? Wow.
[19:21] Kakihana
    Not even I have that much.
[19:26] Ichimura
    He's a Rui Nikaido fan, huh?
[19:28] Kakihana
    Huh?
[19:29] Ichimura
    Nothing. Do you know about this?
[19:32] Ichimura
    Everyone's talking about it right now.
[19:35] Kabasawa
    Hello, Taichi Kabasawa here.
SIGN    [Declaration of War] I'll catch Dobu by the end of the year! [Taichi Kabasawa]
[19:37] Kabasawa
    I have an announcement to make.
[19:39] Kabasawa
    I, Taichi Kabasawa, will capture
    Dobu by the end of the year.
[19:42] Kabasawa
    You see, ten days ago, Dobu happened
    to be in a photo I uploaded.
[19:47] Kabasawa
    I was interviewed by the media.
[19:49] Kabasawa
    It went a little bit viral,
[19:50] Kabasawa
    so I'm sure some of you know
    about that, but I don't know.
[19:53] Kabasawa
    Some of you might be wondering if it's
    okay for me to use such a sensational title,
[19:57] Kabasawa
    but this is, without a doubt,
    my sense of justice.
[20:00] Kabasawa
    For those of you who don't know who Dobu is,
[20:02] Kabasawa
    I'm not sure if he's a thug or yakuza member,
    but the police are after him.
[20:07] Kabasawa
    But according to the intel I've acquired,
[20:09] Kabasawa
    the police haven't been able to catch Dobu.
[20:12] Kabasawa
    I don't know if he's backed up
    by someone important or something.
[20:15] Kabasawa
    Anyway, this Dobu guy is such a bad dude
[20:17] Kabasawa
    that people think he's committed
    every crime under the sun.
[20:21] Kabasawa
    Theft, robbery, fraud, assault,
    extortion, sexual assault,
SIGN    Theft
SIGN    Robbery
SIGN    Fraud
SIGN    Assault
SIGN    Extortion
SIGN    Sexual Assault
[20:24] Kabasawa
    placing rocks on railway tracks,
    arson, kidnapping, and murder.
SIGN    Rocks on Tracks
SIGN    Arson
SIGN    Kidnapping
SIGN    Murder (?)
[20:27] Kabasawa
    Anyway, his crimes are too numerous to list.
[20:29] Kabasawa
    Oh, I guess the rocks on
    the tracks stand out from the rest.
[20:32] Kabasawa
    As a matter of fact, I know people
    who were beaten half to death by Dobu.
[20:33] Waiter
    I'll take this out of your way.
[20:35] Kakihana
    Thanks. Uh...
[20:36] Kabasawa
    I heard about it from a friend of a friend.
[20:39] Kabasawa
    It's possible that some of you
    have met one of his victims.
[20:43] Kabasawa
    Even if they weren't directly harmed by Dobu,
    it's possible that he was responsible.
[20:46] Kabasawa
    I'm sure some people have had
    their bike seats stolen, right?
[20:49] Kabasawa
    Anyway, I, Taichi Kabasawa,
    will catch that Dobu!
[20:52] Kabasawa
    I've been looking for a job for a while.
[20:53] Waiter
    Is something the matter?
[20:55] Kakihana
    Could I get the check?
[20:55] Kabasawa
    But when I asked myself
    what I really want to do,
[20:57] Waiter
    Please wait at your table.
[20:58] Kabasawa
    I knew I didn't want to be a cog in society.
[20:59] Kakihana
    Oh, so that's how you guys do things.
[21:01] Kabasawa
    I didn't want to ride packed trains.
[21:02] Kabasawa
    Can you really call that living?
SIGN    [Declaration of War] I'll catch Dobu by the end of the year! [Taichi Kabasawa]
[21:05] Kabasawa
    While thinking about my life,
    I recalled a dream I had as a kid.
[21:09] Kabasawa
    I wanted to be a hero who helped people
    in trouble. I'm sure you guys did, too.
[21:13] Kabasawa
    So I'll catch him.
[21:14] Kabasawa
    I'll put off finding a job
    and my schoolwork to do it!
[21:17] Kabasawa
    What will I do once I catch him?
[21:19] Kabasawa
    He'll apologize. I'll make him apologize.
[21:21] Kabasawa
    I'll upload a video of him
    on his knees. I'll rehabilitate him.
[21:23] Kabasawa
    If the law can't punish him, then I will!
[21:27] Kabasawa
    No, we will. Including you,
    person watching this video.
[21:29] Kabasawa
    Together, we'll catch Dobu!
[21:31] Kabasawa
    I'm Meisei University
    student Taichi Kabasawa!
[21:34] Kabasawa
    I won't run. I won't hide.
    I'll stand in the line of fire.
[21:37] Kabasawa
    So I'm accepting any
    and all information. Help me.
[21:39] Kabasawa
    Crimes must be punished.
    Together we shall defeat evil!
[21:42] Kabasawa
    Justice will win!
[21:45] Ichimura
    This video has received a storm of praise.
[21:47] Ichimura
    It's been viewed ten million times.
[21:49] Ichimura
    People are saying, "He's so cool. God-like,"
[21:50] Ichimura
    and, "Kabasawa-sama, I support you."
[21:52] Ichimura
    Crazy, right?
[21:55] Waiter
    Here's your check.
[21:56] Kakihana
    Thanks.
[21:59] Kakihana
    Yikes.
[22:00] Ichimura
    What's wrong?
[22:01] Kakihana
    Oh, uh... That's all, huh?
[22:05] Kakihana
    Give me one minute.
[22:10] Ichimura
    You're not paying by card?
[22:12] Kakihana
    Since I look at digital
    numbers all day long,
[22:15] Kakihana
    I prefer to use cash
    when interacting with other people.
[22:18] Ichimura
    You don't even carry a wallet?
[22:19] Kakihana
    I had a B-Bottega Veneta, but I gave
    it away to one of my subordinates.
[22:24] Ichimura
    Huh...
SIGN    Statement
SIGN    Transactions
SIGN    Loan
SIGN    Interest Rate (True Annual Rate): 18.000% Late Charge (Annual Rate): 20.000% Next Payment Due Date: 2021/10/25 Total Payments: 2
SIGN    Takotako Loans
SIGN    Next Time: Let Me Hear You Say, "What the Hell?"
[23:35] Imai
    Odokawa-sama, I'm delighted to see
    that you're doing well.
[23:38] Odokawa
    Don't call me that.
[23:39] Imai
    Do you believe in fate?
[23:41] Imai
    It's fate that brought us together again.
[23:44] Odokawa
    I pick up repeat passengers
    in that area all the time while cruising.
[23:46] Imai
    But one billion—
[23:47] Odokawa
    Shh! Keep your voice down.

E6 - Let Me Hear You Say, "What the Hell?"

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Let Me Hear You Say, "What the Hell?"
[01:14] Imai
    Driver!
[01:15] Odokawa
    Hey, you're the Mystery Kiss fan.
[01:18] Imai
    You remember me?!
[01:20] Imai
    More importantly,
    I'm glad I got to see you again.
[01:22] Odokawa
    Why?
[01:23] Imai
    I wanted to thank you. To Shinjuku, please.
[01:29] Odokawa
    Did I do something for you?
[01:30] Imai
    Man, you practically saved my life.
[01:35] Odokawa
    Saved your life?
[01:36] Imai
    Well, maybe I wouldn't go that far.
[01:38] Odokawa
    Seriously?
[01:39] Imai
    But you changed my life.
[01:41] Imai
    In a manner of speaking, you're a god.
[01:43] Imai
    Hey, it's Mystery Kiss!
[01:46] Imai
    Tell me, Driver—no, God—
[01:49] Odokawa
    It's Odokawa.
[01:50] Imai
    Odokawa-sama, did you get
    hooked on Mystery Kiss?
[01:54] Odokawa
    I, uh... I guess so.
[01:57] Imai
    I knew you would, Odokawa-sama!
[01:59] Odokawa
    What did I do?
[02:01] Imai
    I actually won the lottery using
    those numbers you gave me.
[02:06] Odokawa
    Really? That's amazing.
[02:08] Imai
    That's not much of a reaction!
[02:10] Odokawa
    I mean, I picked those numbers at random.
[02:12] Imai
    You just haven't heard how much I won.
[02:15] Imai
    I won one billion yen!
[02:18] Odokawa
    Really?
[02:19] Imai
    Really!
[02:20] Imai
    I haven't claimed my winnings yet,
[02:22] Imai
    but I've checked it about a hundred times.
[02:25] Odokawa
    If that's true, you shouldn't
    be spreading that around.
[02:28] Imai
    It's my first time telling
    someone in real life.
[02:30] Imai
    I had to tell you.
[02:33] Odokawa
    What do you mean, in real life?
[02:34] Imai
    I told people online, but that's online.
SIGN    Imai@Nikaido fan account
    @Nikaidorui_love – 1 day ago
     I can't stop shaking...
[02:37] Imai
    Besides, this is too big
    for me to keep to myself!
[02:41] Imai
    I had to tell someone.
[02:43] Odokawa
    Now you can buy Mystery Kiss CDs.
[02:45] Imai
    That's right. I've been keeping
    my winning ticket on me
[02:49] Imai
    so I can claim my winnings right
    when their CD comes out.
[02:51] Odokawa
    You'd better not lose that.
[02:54] Imai
    Anyway, Odokawa-sama, I wanted to thank you.
[02:56] Odokawa
    You don't need to do that.
[02:58] Imai
    No, no way! I've gotta do something!
[03:00] Imai
    Isn't there anything you need money for?
[03:02] Odokawa
    Not particularly.
[03:03] Imai
    Then, maybe your family or someone
    you care about is in trouble?
[03:10] Odokawa
    Nope.
[03:11] Imai
    Do you just not feel desire?!
[03:14] Imai
    In that case, Odokawa-sama,
    are you free right now?
[03:17] Odokawa
    As you can see, I'm right
    in the middle of work.
[03:19] Imai
    I'll pay you whatever you'd make today.
[03:22] Imai
    Come with me.
SIGN    Kabukicho Ichiban-gai
[03:25] Odokawa
    You don't have to do this.
    Where are we going?
[03:29] Imai
    Here!
[03:31] Imai
    I'm a waiter at a cabaret club.
[03:33] Imai
    Since you don't want anything,
    I'm offering you something:
[03:37] Imai
    free service for life.
[03:46] Imai
    This is VIP Odokawa-sama.
[03:48] Imai
    Everything is already paid for,
    so order whatever you'd like.
[03:52] Kanon
    Really?
[03:52] Reina
    So cool.
[03:53] Kanon
    Wow!
[03:55] Kanon
    Odokawa-san, what would you like to drink?
[03:57] Odokawa
    Actually, I've got to drive...
[03:59] Kanon
    Is it okay if we drink?
[04:08] Odokawa
    Sure, go ahead.
[04:09] All
    Hooray!
[04:11] Reina
    Shall we open a Dom Pérignon Rose, then?
[04:16] Imai
    Odokawa-sama, where are you going?
[04:19] Odokawa
    I've had enough. I'm leaving.
[04:21] Imai
    Don't be like that.
    Enjoy yourself a little more.
[04:32] Employee
    Are you looking for something in particular?
[04:35] Kakihana
    Huh? Uh, no.
SIGN    Miho Shirakawa
SIGN    Missed Call Missed Call Missed Call Missed Call Missed Call Missed Call
SIGN    Don't ever get involved with me again.
[05:26] Odokawa
    Wh-What happened?
[05:29] Imai
    I don't know. Someone came in with a gun.
[05:33] Odokawa
    A gun?
[05:35] Imai
    Go out through the back door.
[05:37] Imai
    It's hidden from the front of house.
[06:02] Shibagaki
    Hold on. What are you doing?
[06:05] Shibagaki
    What is this? Is this for Halloween?
    It's not Halloween yet.
[06:08] Shibagaki
    Don't you think you're being hasty?
[06:09] Shibagaki
    I've heard people riot every year,
[06:11] Shibagaki
    but this is the first time
    I've seen a one-man riot.
[06:37] Imai
    Shibagaki, what were you trying to do?
[06:40] Shibagaki
    Honestly...
[06:42] Shibagaki
    I thought it'd be funny if I got shot.
[06:45] Imai
    You're crazy.
[07:16] Odokawa
    What?
[07:17] Shirakawa
    What did you mean when you told me
    not to get involved with you?
[07:27] Shirakawa
    Odokawa-san is ignoring me!
[07:29] Odokawa
    Hey, be quiet. You're
    bothering the neighbors.
[07:32] Shirakawa
    Let me inside, then.
[07:34] Odokawa
    We'll talk outside.
[07:37] Shirakawa
    Is someone in there?
[07:44] Shirakawa
    What happened to your car? Were you robbed?
[07:47] Odokawa
    They didn't take anything.
[07:50] Shirakawa
    You'd better get it fixed soon, or else.
[07:54] Shirakawa
    You know, or else.
[07:55] Odokawa
    I have no idea what you're getting at.
[07:57] Shirakawa
    Leaving something broken makes
    people break it further.
[08:01] Odokawa
    The broken windows theory?
[08:02] Shirakawa
    Yeah, the broken windows theory.
[08:03] Shirakawa
    It applies to hearts, too.
[08:06] Odokawa
    What do you mean?
[08:09] Odokawa
    So, what do you want?
[08:12] Shirakawa
    You told me not to get involved with you.
[08:16] Odokawa
    I know.
[08:18] Odokawa
    The way you think that depending
    on what I do, you might still
[08:21] Odokawa
    be able to salvage
    the situation is obnoxious, too—
[08:23] Shirakawa
    Wait.
[08:25] Odokawa
    Honestly, I was little—no,
    I was really happy.
[08:29] Odokawa
    I'm ashamed of myself.
[08:31] Shirakawa
    Please.
[08:32] Odokawa
    Don't use your feminine wiles on me, coward.
[08:35] Odokawa
    Because of you, Goriki—
[08:36] Shirakawa
    Okay, I get it. I'll tell you everything.
[08:39] Shirakawa
    You don't have to tell me what you know.
[08:43] Shirakawa
    It's true that Dobu-san and I used to date.
[08:46] Odokawa
    You're starting with something I didn't know.
[08:49] Shirakawa
    It was for about four years.
[08:50] Shirakawa
    I couldn't say no to him
    because of the money.
[08:54] Odokawa
    I'm not listening to you
    if you're going to cry.
[08:56] Odokawa
    Besides, it's none of my business.
[08:57] Shirakawa
    Please wait. I get it.
[09:01] Shirakawa
    I borrowed a large amount
    of money from Dobu-san.
[09:03] Shirakawa
    I was paying him back little by little.
[09:05] Shirakawa
    I couldn't say no to him.
[09:08] Odokawa
    So you stole medication.
[09:13] Shirakawa
    I'll tell the police.
[09:17] Odokawa
    Goriki knew it was you
    and didn't turn you in.
[09:20] Odokawa
    You should let him handle it instead
    of doing something you shouldn't.
[09:24] Odokawa
    And?
[09:25] Shirakawa
    Yes?
[09:26] Odokawa
    Why did you approach me?
[09:30] Shirakawa
    Dobu-san told me to
     bring him the patient list.
[09:33] Shirakawa
    He must've had plenty of methods
    for turning personal information into profit.
[09:39] Shirakawa
    When he saw your name on the list,
    he asked me what you were like.
[09:45] Odokawa
    What did you tell him?
[09:47] Shirakawa
    That you're a grumpy taxi driver.
[09:50] Shirakawa
    Then Dobu-san told me to get close to you.
[09:54] Shirakawa
    But over time, I really did begin to—
[09:57] Odokawa
    Spare me.
[10:00] Odokawa
    So, what's Dobu's actual goal?
[10:04] Shirakawa
    He said he was going to rob a bank.
[10:06] Shirakawa
    He probably needs a taxi
    as his getaway car.
[10:11] Odokawa
    Rob a bank? In this day and age?
[10:13] Shirakawa
    He said now was the time to do it.
[10:15] Odokawa
    So he wanted to use me as his getaway.
[10:18] Odokawa
    He must think I'm a sucker.
[10:20] Shirakawa
    I want you to believe me.
[10:22] Shirakawa
    I approached you because he told me to,
[10:25] Shirakawa
    but partway through, I had no
    intention of turning you over to him.
[10:29] Odokawa
    I don't care about that. What else?
[10:33] Shirakawa
    That's all, I think.
[10:36] Odokawa
    Got it.
[10:37] Odokawa
    Don't tell Dobu that you talked to me.
[10:40] Shirakawa
    What are you going to do?
[10:42] Odokawa
    Leave him be.
[10:43] Odokawa
    Maybe I'll even pretend
    to help him rob a bank.
[10:47] Shirakawa
    Okay.
[10:48] Odokawa
    By the way, how much do you still owe Dobu?
[10:51] Shirakawa
    Three million yen.
[10:53] Odokawa
    You still owe that much after four years?
[10:54] Shirakawa
    Because of the interest,
    the principal never went down.
[10:58] Odokawa
    With that exorbitant interest, you should've
    borrowed the money from someone else.
[11:02] Odokawa
    You even became an accomplice to his crimes.
[11:04] Shirakawa
    He'd beat me.
[11:06] Shirakawa
    And he's actually a weak man.
    I couldn't just leave him.
[11:11] Odokawa
    Oh, really? I don't care about
    your codependent relationship.
[11:17] Shirakawa
    Wait, Odokawa-san.
[11:20] Shirakawa
    I told you nothing but the truth today.
[11:24] Shirakawa
    I want to pay off my debt
    and leave Dobu-san. Really.
[11:29] Shirakawa
    I'll apologize to Dr. Goriki. Because...
[11:35] Shirakawa
    Because I love you.
[11:42] Odokawa
    Don't ever get involved with me again.
[12:05] Odokawa
    I'm tired.
[12:20] Baba
    Are you okay? I saw a little
    online news story about it.
[12:23] Shibagaki
    It was seriously shocking.
    I had a gun pointed at me.
[12:27] Shibagaki
    The police interviewed me afterward, too.
[12:29] Baba
    Headline: "Shibagaki of Homosapiens
    encounters armed robber at part-time job."
[12:34] Shibagaki
    "Part-time job" sounds so lame.
[12:36] Shibagaki
    And why didn't they interview me properly?
[12:38] Shibagaki
    I'm the one who chased off the robber.
[12:39] Baba
    Really?
[12:40] Shibagaki
    Really.
[12:42] Baba
    How?
[12:43] Shibagaki
    I told him to shoot me if he could.
[12:44] Baba
    And then?
[12:46] Shibagaki
    In deference to my
    manliness, he settled down.
[12:49] Baba
    He actually said that?
[12:50] Shibagaki
    That's what the eyes
    behind the mask told me.
[12:52] Baba
    Could you be more specific?
    What exactly was the situation?
[12:55] Shibagaki
    I can't say much. My employer
    doesn't want me to talk about it.
[12:58] Baba
    You're the one who always says we
    should throw ourselves into trouble
[13:01] Baba
    for the sake of interesting stories.
SIGN    Takotako Loans
[13:03] Baba
    If you can't talk about it, what's the point?
[13:05] Shibagaki
    What have you been up
    to this past week, then?
[13:07] Baba
    I've been shooting my drama.
[13:08] Baba
    I think some details on it
    have been released by now.
[13:10] Shibagaki
    Ah.
[13:11] Baba
    Plus my regular TV appearances,
    so I haven't slept much.
[13:14] Shibagaki
    Young guys who have just tasted
    success always brag about that.
[13:16] Baba
    I've been thinking lately that comedy
    that doesn't hurt anyone is best.
[13:20] Shibagaki
    No way. I think it's okay to hurt
    one person to make ten people laugh.
[13:24] Baba
    It just makes people dislike you.
[13:26] Baba
    Just look at the guys who are successful
    these days. They're all amiable.
[13:29] Shibagaki
    You think that makes people laugh?
    I mean really laugh?
[13:32] Shibagaki
    When we were kids, we laughed
    until the very cores of our bodies
[13:36] Shibagaki
    were numb at words prickling
    with sharp edges.
[13:38] Baba
    Yeah, and I think times have changed.
[13:40] Shibagaki
    What, then? You think
    making weird faces is funny?
[13:43] Shibagaki
    You think rolling your eyes is funny?
[13:44] Shibagaki
    You think that makes people laugh?!
[13:46] Baba
    Since Shibagaki-san has gotten overexcited,
    let's move on to fan mail.
[13:48] Baba
    This one's from radio name
    "When asked where they live,
[13:50] Baba
    most people who respond with Osaka
    are actually from Amagasaki."
[13:54] Shibagaki
    I know what you mean.
[13:55] Baba
    Amagasaki is in Hyogo prefecture,
    but their area code is 06.
[13:59] Shibagaki
    What about that guy?
[14:00] Baba
    Who?
[14:01] Shibagaki
    That smart-ass high school student
    who always sends us mail.
[14:05] Baba
    Satoshi Nagashima-kun?
[14:07] Baba
    We don't have anything from him today.
SIGN    Yamabiko
[14:20] Taeko
    Where's Odokawa-san today?
[14:22] Kakihana
    He said he'd finish work early today
    and come if he was feeling up to it.
[14:26] Taeko
    You've changed recently, Kakihana-san.
[14:29] Kakihana
    Really?
[14:33] Fan A
    Baba-san!
[14:36] Fan C
    Will you shake my hand?
[14:37] Baba
    Sure thing.
[14:38] Fan D
    Can I have your autograph?
[14:39] Baba
    Thank you.
[14:47] Shibagaki
    To Nakameguro, please.
[14:48] Nagashima
    I know exactly what you mean.
[14:49] Shibagaki
    What?
[14:51] Nagashima
    What's so funny about rolling your eyes?
[14:54] Shibagaki
    Your understanding doesn't mean shit to me.
[14:56] Shibagaki
    Who are you, anyway?
[14:57] Shibagaki
    Let's go, Driver.
[15:02] Nagashima
    I'm Nagashima! Satoshi Nagashima.
[15:16] Kabasawa
    Hello, Taichi Kabasawa here.
SIGN    [Shocking] Video of shooting at Shinjuku cabaret club acquired! [Dobu]
[15:18] Kabasawa
    Do you guys know there was
    a shooting yesterday
[15:21] Kabasawa
    at cabaret club "White dolphin" in Shinjuku?
[15:23] Kabasawa
    It was on the news,
    but would you believe it?
[15:25] Kabasawa
    A listener who happened
    to be there sent me a video.
[15:29] Kabasawa
    This must be Dobu.
[15:31] Kabasawa
    More and more of Dobu's vile acts
    are being exposed to the light of day.
[15:35] Kabasawa
    What really makes me happy
[15:37] Kabasawa
    is that they could've made a fortune
    selling this video to the media,
[15:39] Kabasawa
    but they sent it to Taichi Kabasawa
    instead for free! Totally free!
[15:43] Kabasawa
    I'm sure it's because they
    despise Dobu that much,
[15:45] Kabasawa
    but I believe Taichi Kabasawa's
    unifying force has grown that strong.
[15:49] Kabasawa
    That this is a blessing.
[15:51] Kabasawa
    Proof that I've grown closer
    to becoming a god.
SIGN    Divine Judgment
[15:55] Kabasawa
    Dobu, your time has nearly come!
[15:58] Kabasawa
    I have a million followers. I am a god.
[15:59] Odokawa
    You're looking haggard.
[16:01] Kabasawa
    Are you prepared to pay for your crimes?!
[16:02] Odokawa
    I guess you're surprisingly delicate.
[16:04] Dobu
    I feel like I'm being blamed
    for all the crimes in the world.
[16:08] Dobu
    And I didn't understand the kind
    of influence the internet has.
[16:12] Dobu
    Everyone looks like an enemy to me now.
[16:14] Odokawa
    It definitely serves you right.
[16:17] Dobu
    The gun this guy used was definitely mine.
    That's what's so bad about it.
[16:21] Odokawa
    Was it that Yano guy?
[16:23] Dobu
    I don't think it was Yano.
[16:25] Dobu
    If it were Yano, it would've
    seemed more purposeful.
[16:28] Dobu
    If you look closely, it seems like
    he's searching for someone.
[16:34] Dobu
    You were in the bathroom
    when this happened, right?
[16:36] Odokawa
    Are you saying someone's
    got a grudge against me?
[16:39] Dobu
    If your car window being broken
    was also a coincidence,
[16:41] Dobu
    then you've got horrendous luck.
[16:43] Odokawa
    Nothing was stolen. Naturally,
    that includes my dash cam data.
[16:47] Dobu
    That's exactly my point.
[16:49] Dobu
    If we're looking for a purpose,
[16:51] Dobu
    then I'd say someone's trying
    to torture you to death.
[16:56] Dobu
    Mentally first, and then physically.
[17:02] Dobu
    I'm surprised you're so
    calm about all of this.
[17:04] Dobu
    It's like you're actually not afraid to die.
[17:07] Odokawa
    I'm scared. Of course I'm scared.
[17:12] Dobu
    Why don't we join forces, then?
[17:14] Odokawa
    Join forces?
[17:15] Dobu
    This Halloween guy is trying to kill you.
    I need to get this gun back.
[17:21] Dobu
    Why don't we fight together?
[17:23] Dobu
    On an unrelated note,
    regarding Mystery Kiss,
[17:26] Dobu
    if Yano is involved, then I can't touch it.
[17:29] Dobu
    I want you to help me gather information.
[17:31] Odokawa
    I'm doing all the work here.
[17:33] Dobu
    I ain't asking you to do it for free.
[17:35] Dobu
    I'll make sure Goriki
    can return to his clinic.
[17:39] Odokawa
    Fine.
[17:40] Dobu
    You'll help me, then?
[17:43] Dobu
    It's been a long road getting here,
[17:45] Dobu
    but you and I were destined
    to become allies.
[17:48] Odokawa
    I want to add another condition.
[17:50] Dobu
    What is it?
[17:53] Odokawa
    Release Shirakawa-san.
[17:58] Odokawa
    Write off her debt.
[18:02] Dobu
    Fine. I promise.
[18:11] Dobu
    I'm gonna look for the man with the gun.
[18:14] Dobu
    Odokawa, I need you
    to catch Taichi Kabasawa.
[18:17] Odokawa
    This guy, huh? I gave him a ride once.
[18:20] Dobu
    I know. I saved our group photo.
[18:23] Odokawa
    We know Taichi Kabasawa's identity,
    so we can do something about him.
[18:27] Odokawa
    But how are you going to find
    the guy with the gun?
[18:29] Dobu
    Halloween.
[18:31] Dobu
    On Halloween, I'm going to
    dress up as the man with the gun
[18:34] Dobu
    and walk around town.
[18:35] Odokawa
    You're going to wear a skull mask?
[18:38] Odokawa
    I see. Since everyone knows your face,
[18:41] Odokawa
    you can't walk around town on any other day.
[18:43] Dobu
    He might go out wearing the same outfit.
[18:47] Dobu
    Either way, I expect I'll run
    into him some way or another.
[18:50] Dobu
    He's the self-aggrandizing type.
[18:53] Odokawa
    I'll go directly to Taichi Kabasawa's
    university and pick him up.
[18:56] Dobu
    University? How many students
    do you think you'll find there?
[19:00] Odokawa
    I'll be fine. I'm good
    at finding people in a crowd.
[19:04] Dobu
    Why? You've got good eyes or something?
[19:08] Odokawa
    What do you mean, why?
[19:10] Odokawa
    If anything, I find it strange
    that you guys are so bad at it.
[19:14] Ad
    Camera rehearsal is good.
SIGN    Homosapiens Baba-sama
[19:17] Male P
    Hey, you've been making lots
    of money recently, haven't you?
SIGN    Homosapiens Baba-sama
[19:21] Baba
    I wouldn't say that.
[19:23] Male P
    You've been named the number one
    breakout entertainer.
[19:26] Baba
    Huh? Oh, really?
[19:28] Male P
    I knew you'd get there, Baba-kun.
[19:31] Male P
    It's hard to explain, but there are guys
    who are loved despite being stupid, y'know?
[19:34] Baba
    Stupid? I'm not—
[19:35] Male P
    I didn't mean it in a weird way.
[19:38] Baba
    What other way could you have meant it?
[19:39] Male P
    It's hard to put into words
    what's good about you, Baba-kun.
[19:43] Baba
    Don't give up so quickly.
[19:45] Baba
    Please list everything that's good about me.
[19:46] Male P
    You've got a certain virtue or grace.
[19:49] Male P
    At the end of the day,
    you've got good breeding.
[19:51] Male P
    I bet not many people say they dislike you.
[19:54] Baba
    Nah, my partner probably hates me.
[19:57] Baba
    He's always calling me
    a worthless piece of junk.
[19:59] Male P
    You should cut ties with him.
[20:02] Baba
    What?
[20:03] Male P
    In this world, the weak are weeded out.
[20:07] Male P
    Your partner's just being a sore loser.
[20:09] Baba
    But, Shibagaki is—
[20:10] Male P
    Oh, right. I'd like you to appear
    in a special end-of-year program.
[20:13] Male P
    We're recording next Friday.
    We really want you to be in it.
[20:20] Baba
    That day is Round 3 of the N-1.
    I could do it after that.
[20:24] Male P
    You're still doing that? Give it up already.
[20:27] Baba
    I spent a year working towards that, so...
[20:32] Male P
    I see.
[20:34] Male P
    We'll make some adjustments, then.
[20:37] Male P
    I'm counting on you, Baba-chan.
[20:39] Male P
    I've got high hopes for you.
[20:48] Nikaido
    Boo!
[20:49] Baba
    Hey, what are you doing?
[20:50] Nikaido
    I saw the producer leaving.
[20:52] Baba
    You can't come in here.
[20:54] Nikaido
    I haven't seen you at all recently, though.
[20:56] Baba
    Sorry. These days I don't
    even have time to sleep.
[20:59] Nikaido
    I told you that you didn't need
    to become this successful.
[21:02] Baba
    Rui-chan, what are you doing today?
    Are you recording something?
[21:05] Nikaido
    Our debut single goes on sale on Christmas.
[21:07] Nikaido
    I'm promoting it today.
[21:09] Nikaido
    We're doing a concert at a
    2,000 person venue that day.
[21:11] Baba
    Really? That's amazing! I'm happy for you.
[21:14] Baba
    You're moving up in the world step by step.
[21:16] Baba
    You always said you wanted to
    climb higher, Rui-chan.
[21:19] Nikaido
    Yeah. And if that goes well,
    they said they'd get us the Budokan.
[21:23] Baba
    Really? I'm rooting for you.
[21:25] Baba
    I'd better work hard, too.
[21:26] Nikaido
    You don't have to work so hard.
[21:29] Nikaido
    I like that you're the opposite
    of my excessive ambition, Baba-san.
[21:34] Baba
    You keep saying that, but I'm still a man.
[21:37] Baba
    It's true that I lack ambition, though.
[21:40] Nikaido
    Then what's the problem? C'mere.
[21:49] Baba
    Are you sure you don't think of me as a pet?
[21:51] Nikaido
    I don't want a pet with a horse face.
[21:57] Baba
    Whoa!
[21:58] Yamamoto
    I knew I'd find you here.
[22:00] Yamamoto
    Recording is starting. Let's go.
[22:02] Baba
    That was close.
[22:03] Nikaido
    Coming.
[22:05] Yamamoto
    Baba-san, please.
[22:07] Yamamoto
    Now that you're becoming successful,
    I'm sure you understand.
[22:10] Yamamoto
    This is a really important time for her.
[22:12] Baba
    Yes. I know.
[22:14] Nikaido
    Let me know if your schedule
    opens up. I'll match yours.
[22:24] Baba
    Hello?
[22:25] Shibagaki
    You wanna meet up now
    to discuss our material?
[22:27] Baba
    Sorry. I've got a shoot.
[22:30] Shibagaki
    What are we gonna do? Round 3 is next week.
[22:33] Baba
    What should I do?
[22:35] Shibagaki
    How about after your shoot today?
[22:37] Baba
    I've got a wrap party.
[22:38] Shibagaki
    How about tomorrow?
[22:39] Baba
    I've got an all day, on-location shoot.
[22:41] Shibagaki
    The day after that?
[22:42] Baba
    Filming a drama first thing in the morning.
[22:44] Shibagaki
    And the day after that?
[22:45] Baba
    On-location close coverage shoot.
[22:46] Shibagaki
    And the day after that?
[22:47] Baba
    Recording a special.
[22:48] Shibagaki
    And the day after that?
[22:50] Baba
    Overseas shoot.
SIGN    Next Time: Trick or Treat
[23:36] Odokawa
    Hey, Little Daimon.
    Is the investigation going well?
[23:39] Koshiro
    Listen here, Odokawa.
[23:40] Koshiro
    Local Civil Service Law has got
    this thing called confidentiality.
[23:43] Koshiro
    I don't know what that covers,
[23:45] Koshiro
    but information doesn't make its way
    down to lowly grunts like me!
[23:48] Koshiro
    Don't make me say it!

E7 - Trick or Treat

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Trick or Treat
[01:39] Odokawa
    Hey, buddy.
[01:42] Odokawa
    Is Taichi Kabasawa at school right now?
[01:45] Student
    Taichi Kabasawa?
[01:47] Student
    Oh.
[01:48] Odokawa
    He's famous, right?
[01:50] Student
    He doesn't come to class anymore.
[01:52] Student
    He got cocky by putting the name of his college
     out there, but he's actually scared.
[01:55] Student
    People online might treat him like a god,
[01:57] Student
    but among us, he's famous for being
    a coward who's desperate for recognition.
[03:08] Man A
    Kakihana-san.
[03:09] Man A
    We know you're in there, Kakihana-san.
[03:14] Man A
    Hey, Kakihana! You need to
    pay back what you borrowed!
[03:17] Man A
    Didn't your parents teach you that?
[03:26] Koshiro
    What's with you, taxi driver?
    Turning yourself in?
[03:28] Koshiro
    You here to turn yourself in, huh?
    What'd you do?
[03:30] Koshiro
    I'm eating over here!
[03:32] Odokawa
    Where's your brother today?
[03:33] Koshiro
    I'll tell you, you idiot.
[03:35] Koshiro
    My brother worked the day shift.
[03:38] Koshiro
    He's already done with work.
[03:39] Odokawa
    Perfect. I'm reporting an incident.
[03:40] Koshiro
    What?
[03:41] Odokawa
    Someone fired a gun into my house.
[03:43] Koshiro
    That's major! Why didn't you
     call the emergency number?
[03:46] Odokawa
    Just come with me.
[03:48] Koshiro
    Fine. I'm calling my brother.
[03:49] Odokawa
    I want you to come by yourself.
[03:51] Koshiro
    Why?
[03:52] Odokawa
    Things get difficult when
    your brother's involved.
[03:54] Koshiro
    Maybe I'm my brother.
[03:58] Odokawa
    Only relatives find those
    kinds of pranks funny.
[04:01] Koshiro
    You're right. Grandma loved that joke.
[04:04] Odokawa
    Say you're going out on patrol.
[04:06] Koshiro
    Got it.
[04:12] Koshiro
    Hey, are we going inside your house?
[04:14] Odokawa
    Yeah.
[04:16] Koshiro
    But you're, y'know—
[04:18] Koshiro
    this is mad awkward, and I'm not sure
    how to say it, but don't you have
[04:22] Koshiro
    that Nerima high school girl
    locked up in there?
[04:24] Odokawa
    That was incredibly direct.
    But no, of course not.
[04:30] Koshiro
    You weren't kidding.
[04:31] Odokawa
    This is the shell.
[04:33] Koshiro
    Hold on. I can't handle this by myself.
[04:36] Koshiro
    There's all kinds of paperwork
     to fill out, procedures to follow...
[04:40] Koshiro
    A bunch of rules about
    preserving the crime scene, too...
[04:41] Odokawa
    I don't intend for this
    to become a police case.
[04:43] Koshiro
    What? Are you stupid?
[04:46] Koshiro
    Suppose I go to Roppongi at night
    and get absolutely plastered.
[04:49] Koshiro
    The trains aren't running, so I call
    for a taxi, and you show up.
[04:52] Koshiro
    What would you think if I told you,
    "I don't intend to go home?"
[04:56] Koshiro
    Or suppose I went to the barber and said,
    "Could you give me a long hairstyle?"
[04:59] Odokawa
    I thought I'd tell you the truth.
[05:01] Koshiro
    What truth?
[05:03] Odokawa
    Little Daimon, why did you want
    to become a police officer?
[05:07] Koshiro
    To punish evil.
[05:09] Odokawa
    Why did you want to punish evil?
[05:14] Odokawa
    Will you tell me?
[05:20] (Flashback) Kenshiro
    Vroom!
[05:22] (Flashback) Mom
    Kenshiro, Koshiro.
[05:24] (Flashback) Mom
    We're going out now.
[05:26] (Flashback) Kenshiro
    Okay! See you later!
[05:28] (Flashback) Koshiro
    Bring back cake.
[05:34] (Flashback) Kenshiro
    Boom!
[05:40] Koshiro
    Our parents were killed
    by a hit-and-run driver.
[05:45] Koshiro
    By a taxi, no less.
[05:48] Odokawa
    That's why you can't stand the sight of me.
[05:51] Koshiro
    We'd catch bad guys with our own hands.
[05:55] Koshiro
    That's what my brother and I swore we'd do.
[05:57] Odokawa
    Maybe that's how it was back then.
[05:59] Koshiro
    What are you talking about?
[06:00] Odokawa
    But now, your brother is evil.
[06:03] Koshiro
    Listen, you. It's true that my brother
    chooses black when we play Othello.
[06:07] Koshiro
    Whenever we played tag,
    he always wanted to be it.
[06:10] Koshiro
    But that doesn't mean—
[06:11] Odokawa
    Your brother is working with Dobu.
[06:14] Koshiro
    I heard about that already.
    I asked my brother about it.
[06:18] Koshiro
    He told me that he's not.
[06:20] Odokawa
    You believe him?
[06:21] Koshiro
    Of course.
[06:23] Koshiro
    Between you and my brother,
    obviously I believe my brother!
[06:25] Koshiro
    What kind of twins do you think we are?
[06:29] Koshiro
    We're identical twins.
[06:30] Odokawa
    Do you hate Dobu?
[06:31] Koshiro
    Yeah. After all, he's evil.
[06:33] Odokawa
    Little Daimon, I'll give you
    an opportunity to catch Dobu.
[06:37] Koshiro
    Really?! That'd be huge!
[06:39] Odokawa
    But if you arrest him normally,
    he'd only be charged with a petty crime.
[06:42] Koshiro
    Is he planning to do something?
[06:45] Odokawa
    Yes.
[06:45] Koshiro
    What?
[06:46] Odokawa
    I'm working with Dobu right now.
[06:48] Koshiro
    Whoa! You're evil!
[06:51] Odokawa
    Calm down. I'm pretending to work with him.
[06:53] Koshiro
    But you'll just gradually become more
     evil by pretending to work with him!
[06:57] Odokawa
    Take a seat, already.
[07:00] Odokawa
    Just for a minute, shut up and listen.
[07:04] Odokawa
    Do you know Yano?
[07:09] Odokawa
    You can speak when I ask you a question.
[07:11] Koshiro
    Yano, huh? He's the kind
    of evil who stays hidden.
[07:14] Odokawa
    Dobu and Yano are rivals.
[07:17] Odokawa
    And above them is their boss.
SIGN    Boss
SIGN    Money
SIGN    Yano
SIGN    Rivals
SIGN    Dobu
SIGN    Money
[07:20] Odokawa
    It's Dobu and Yano's job
    to give money to their boss.
[07:23] Odokawa
    They don't get along because
    they compete over the sum.
[07:30] Odokawa
    Sum means much or how
    little money they give him.
[07:33] Odokawa
    If you have something to say
    or any questions, you can speak.
[07:37] Odokawa
    Do you know who their boss is?
[07:39] Koshiro
    Long ago, before we became cops,
    Dobu was arrested for robbing a bank.
[07:44] Koshiro
    His boss may have been
    the principal offender.
[07:46] Odokawa
    I see. And one of Dobu's
    associates is your brother.
SIGN    Dobu
SIGN    Money
SIGN    Boss
SIGN    Big Daimon
[07:50] Koshiro
    If you don't cut that out, I'll beat you
    black and blue, taxi driver!
[07:53] Koshiro
    Why? Why would my brother work with him?!
[07:56] Odokawa
    I don't know if it's for money
    or something else.
[08:00] Odokawa
    I think Dobu is buying off a cop so
    it's easier for him to do his job.
[08:04] Koshiro
    How could you say that without evidence?
[08:07] Odokawa
    That's why you're going to arrest Dobu.
[08:09] Koshiro
    Then my brother will be arrested, too!
[08:11] Odokawa
    Sounds like you're starting to believe me.
[08:15] Odokawa
    You dislike evil, don't you?
[08:16] Koshiro
    I hate it.
[08:17] Odokawa
    Then if your brother is doing bad things,
    then you've got to punish him.
[08:20] Odokawa
    Otherwise, your sense of justice will waver.
[08:24] Koshiro
    Oh, I'll punish him.
    If he's doing bad things, that is.
SIGN    Money
SIGN    Boss
SIGN    Money
SIGN    Yano
SIGN    Dobu
SIGN    Big Daimon
SIGN    Rivals
SIGN    Odokawa
[08:27] Odokawa
    And I'm pretending to work with Dobu.
[08:31] Koshiro
    Your name's Odogawa?
[08:33] Odokawa
    Odokawa.
[08:33] Koshiro
    Doesn't matter. You're the only one
    who cares about that detail.
[08:38] Odokawa
    Do you know Dobu's being
    pursued by a streamer?
[08:40] Koshiro
    Do I know? I'm subscribed to his channel.
[08:43] Koshiro
    I'm a huge fan of Taichi Kabasawa.
[08:45] Odokawa
    You guys do want the same thing.
[08:47] Koshiro
    Exactly.
SIGN    Kabasawa
SIGN    Money
SIGN    Dobu
SIGN    Big Daimon
SIGN    Odokawa
SIGN    Boss
SIGN    Money
SIGN    Yano
SIGN    Rivals
[08:49] Odokawa
    Then you know about skull mask, too, right?
[08:51] Koshiro
    That guy who showed up at the cabaret club?
[08:53] Koshiro
    Wasn't that Dobu?
[08:55] Odokawa
    It actually wasn't him.
[08:56] Odokawa
    Apparently it was someone
    who stole Dobu's gun.
[08:59] Odokawa
    And for some reason, he wants to kill me.
[09:02] Koshiro
    And that's how this happened.
[09:04] Odokawa
    In other words, Dobu wants
    to catch Kabasawa,
[09:07] Odokawa
    get his gun back from skull mask,
    and get the jump on Yano.
[09:12] Odokawa
    I want to protect myself
    from the mysterious skull mask,
SIGN    Dobu
SIGN    Odokawa
[09:15] Odokawa
    so I'm pretending to work with Dobu.
[09:19] Koshiro
    That doesn't make sense.
[09:20] Koshiro
    There's no reason for you to work with Dobu.
[09:22] Koshiro
    You should let the police
    handle the skull mask.
[09:27] Odokawa
    Are you sure you're not actually smart?
SIGN    Shiraka
SIGN    Money
SIGN    Kabasawa
SIGN    Boss
SIGN    Money
SIGN    Yano
SIGN    Goriki
[09:32] Odokawa
    I've got a grudge against Dobu, too.
SIGN    Shiraka
[09:34] Odokawa
    Something terrible's happening
    to a friend of mine.
[09:37] Odokawa
    I want to bring him to his knees.
[09:38] Koshiro
    Who is it?
[09:40] Odokawa
    Getting to down to business,
    Dobu is planning to rob a bank soon.
[09:44] Koshiro
    That's clearly evil!
    It'd be a repeat offense!
[09:47] Odokawa
    He thinks I'll help him do it,
[09:50] Odokawa
    so you'll arrest Dobu then, Little Daimon.
[09:53] Koshiro
    That's amazing if it's true,
    but you'll be arrested, too, Odokawa.
[09:58] Odokawa
    That's fine. We're doing
    this to punish evil.
[10:02] Koshiro
    You're the opposite of evil.
[10:05] Odokawa
    Why not just call me good?
[10:08] Koshiro
    You were really convincing,
    but it's hard to believe all of a sudden.
[10:13] Odokawa
    I agree. That's why I'm going to
    keep tracking down evidence.
[10:19] Koshiro
    In the first place, I thought you
    were the kidnapper
[10:22] Koshiro
    in the Nerima missing high school girl case.
[10:26] Koshiro
    Could I take a look around your place?
[10:29] Odokawa
    Sure.
[10:47] Radio
    MPD to all stations.
[10:49] Radio
    An unidentified body has found
    at the mouth of the Sumida River.
[10:52] Radio
    Nearby police box, please head there.
[10:54] Radio
    I repeat, MPD to all stations...
[10:56] Koshiro
    I gotta go.
[10:57] Odokawa
    Do you believe me?
[10:58] Koshiro
    Of course not!
[11:00] Koshiro
    But I'll hear you out,
    if it means punishing evil.
[11:04] Koshiro
    Here's my special direct phone number!
SIGN    Shiho
SIGN    I might be a little late...
SIGN    Sorry for asking to meet when you're busy with work. I'll wait as long as you need.
SIGN    Sorry, just finished! I'm heading your way now!
[11:29] Odokawa
    Good girl.
[11:31] Newscaster
    An unidentified body has been
    found in the Tokyo Bay.
[11:45] Newscaster
    This morning before dawn,
    at the Shibaura Wharf in Minato Ward,
SIGN    Live
SIGN    New Info from Location Where Body was Discovered
    Abandoned Body? Police Rushing to Identify Victim
SIGN    Minato Ward Shibaura Wharf
[11:48] Newscaster
    the body of a woman believed to be in
    her teens to thirties was discovered.
[11:52] Newscaster
    Nearby construction workers
    reported the body,
[11:54] Newscaster
    and according to the police investigation,
    after being killed elsewhere,
[11:58] Odokawa
    Now you can't escape.
[11:58] Newscaster
    they believe her body was dumped in the sea.
[12:00] Newscaster
    They believe roughly a month
    has passed since her death.
SIGN    Miho Shirakawa
SIGN    10/26 (Tues)
SIGN    10/27 (Wed)
[12:12] Shirakawa
    "All I can say is I'm really sorry
    about the trouble I caused you.
[12:19] Shirakawa
    Dobu-san told me that he doesn't
    need my help or money anymore."
SIGN    10/27 (Wed)
[12:24] Shirakawa
    "There seemed to be some reason for it,
[12:26] Shirakawa
    but I guess this means my
    relationship has been dissolved.
[12:31] Shirakawa
    I hope you'll forgive me."
SIGN    Goriki Clinic
[12:37] Shirakawa
    I'm really sorry.
[12:42] Goriki
    A guy named Dobu, huh?
[12:44] Shirakawa
    Yes. But my relationship
    with him has been dissolved.
[12:48] Shirakawa
    Probably, anyway.
[12:50] Goriki
    Odokawa must've done something.
[12:53] Shirakawa
    Odokawa-san said he'd pretend
    to work with Dobu-san.
[12:58] Goriki
    I see. That makes sense.
[13:00] Goriki
    He's probably trying to save both you
    and me at the same time by doing that.
[13:06] Shirakawa
    Is there anything I can do?
[13:10] Goriki
    Well, I can't pay you, but will
    you help me with my work?
[13:15] Shirakawa
    Work? What work?
[13:18] Goriki
    What do you mean? Have you
    forgotten what I do for a living?
[13:24] Goriki
    We're going to treat Odokawa.
SIGN    Medical Record
SIGN    Name: Hiroshi Odokawa
     Male
    DOB: May 25th, 555
    Age: 41 years 5 months
    Address: Nerima Ward Mukaiyamabashi,
    5-12 Irodori Heights 102
[13:37] Odokawa
    Ow, ow. Foot cramp.
[13:39] Odokawa
    Ow, ow, ow.
[13:40] Odokawa
    Foot cramp. Ow, ow, ow...
SIGN    Safety First
[13:50] Kakihana
    Sorry, I just got here. Where are you?
[13:53] Ichimura
    Over here.
[13:56] Kakihana
    Huh? I don't see you, Shiho-chan.
[13:58] Ichimura
    Kakki, over here.
[14:03] Kakihana
    Sorry to keep you waiting, Shiho-chan.
[14:05] Ichimura
    It's fine. You came at just
    the right time, Kakki.
[14:09] Kakihana
    One of my subordinates made a mistake.
[14:12] Kakihana
    I had to clean up after—Huh?
[14:14] Kakihana
    Wait, you said I came
    at just the right time?
[14:22] Yamamoto
    Good work. Be careful on your way home.
[14:25] Yamamoto
    Don't be late for the
    Halloween event in Shibuya.
[14:43] Woman A
    Here we go.
[14:43] Woman B
    Do I look cute?
[14:43] Man B
    This is insane.
[14:51] Odokawa
    Ow.
[14:52] Yano
    I'm the one who should be saying ow, here!
[14:55] Yano
    Where the hell are you lookin',
    did your eyes disappear?
[14:58] Yano
    Is this war? Love me tender.
[15:00] Yano
    I'm sick of people tellin' me to be gentler.
[15:03] Yano
    When it comes to traffic,
    everyone does as they please,
[15:06] Yano
    But "all's well that ends well"
    ain't good enough for me.
[15:09] Yano
    Violence is my business, you simpleton.
[15:14] Odokawa
    What?
[15:15] Yano
    Hah. "What?" So, that's your answer?
    Old man, don't make me scoff.
[15:19] Yano
    If you don't apologize, I'll grab a shotgun
    and blow your head off. Bang, bang.
[15:25] Yano
    Scatter your brain. Right brain, left brain,
    frontal lobe, cerebellum, cerebrum.
[15:29] Yano
    You understandin'? A heartfelt
    apology is what I'm demandin'.
[15:34] Odokawa
    It's your fault for riding
    a scooter in this crowd.
[15:37] Yano
    My fault for riding a scooter?
    That's what everyone says, but I don't agree.
[15:43] Yano
    Arguin' with every amateur
    out here ain't for me.
[15:45] Yano
    Between you and I there's
    a long, long Silk Road.
[15:48] Yano
    Too much space between us,
    it's a mental overload.
[15:50] Yano
    I'm sick of generalizations,
[15:52] Yano
    and if you've matured at all,
    where's the apology I'm owed?
[15:55] Odokawa
    Sorry.
[15:56] Yano
    Yeah, that's right. Now it's win-win.
[15:59] Yano
    Lukewarm like the one-coin canned coffee
    you can buy at this Halloween jamboree,
[16:03] Yano
    cold like the coin laundries I used
    when I was at the bottom of the heap.
[16:08] Yano
    Took me a while to make
    my point, but tonight,
[16:11] Yano
    what I wanted to say was
    that you'd better make things right.
[16:13] Yano
    This may sound sudden, but have
    a heart. I'm sorry, my guy.
[16:17] Yano
    At the end of the day, I just want
    some compassion, don't be shy. Yeah.
[16:25] Odokawa
    People lose their minds on Halloween.
[16:32] Kanon
    Did you learn the song yet?
[16:34] Reina
    Not yet. How much longer do we have?
[16:36] Yamamoto
    Okay. Understood.
[16:39] Yamamoto
    I'll head there as soon
    as the event is over.
[16:42] Yamamoto
    Yes. Goodbye.
[16:44] Nikaido
    Who was that? Yano?
[16:47] Yamamoto
    Yeah, that's right.
[16:49] Nikaido
    Do we still have to appear
    in events like these?
[16:52] Nikaido
    Couldn't we handle our own show?
[16:54] Yamamoto
    Just be patient a little longer, Nikaido.
[16:57] Yamamoto
    By Christmas, you'll pull ahead
    of everyone appearing here today.
[17:00] Ichimura
    Excuse me.
[17:03] Yamamoto
    What is it?
[17:05] Ichimura
    I'd like to stop.
[17:07] Yamamoto
    Stop what?
[17:09] Ichimura
    Running these badger games.
[17:11] Nikaido
    What can you do, then?
[17:12] Nikaido
    How are you gonna earn
    money for the agency?
[17:14] Yamamoto
    Hey, Nikaido.
[17:16] Yamamoto
    Fine. We'll talk later, Ichimura.
SIGN    Shibuya Center Street
[17:27] Odokawa
    Thanks for waiting.
[17:29] Dobu
    Hey, hold on. How'd you know it was me?
[17:33] Odokawa
    I told you, I'm good
    at spotting people in a crowd.
[17:38] Dobu
    Was it my build?
[17:39] Dobu
    Or am I not blending in with the crowd?
[17:41] Odokawa
    I doubt anyone else would recognize you.
[17:44] Odokawa
    Anyway, I'm impressed you're not
    too ashamed to dress like that.
[17:47] Dobu
    It's humiliating. But I don't have a choice.
[17:51] Dobu
    So, did you find skull mask
    on your way here?
[17:54] Odokawa
    No.
[17:56] Dobu
    I thought you were good
    at spotting people in a crowd.
[17:59] Odokawa
    Not his type.
[18:02] Dobu
    What does that mean?
[18:03] Odokawa
    How should I explain it? It's difficult.
[18:07] Odokawa
    Milk, please.
[18:09] Waitress
    Okay. One moment, please.
[18:12] Odokawa
    For example, once I memorize
    that waitress' face,
[18:16] Odokawa
    I could spot her in a crowd
    even if she changes her makeup.
[18:19] Dobu
    Why? What kind of power is that?
[18:21] Dobu
    Can you see auras or something?
[18:24] Odokawa
    Maybe it's close to that.
[18:26] Odokawa
    But when I've never seen a guy's face
    and he's wearing a full-face mask,
[18:30] Odokawa
    then I'm just like the rest of you.
[18:33] Odokawa
    I can't tell.
[18:34] Dobu
    In other words, you can find
    Taichi Kabasawa in a crowd,
[18:39] Dobu
    but not skull mask, right?
[18:41] Odokawa
    That's right.
[18:44] Dobu
    Here.
SIGN    Taichi Kabasawa
    @kbsw_t – 1 hour ago
    I'm in Shibuya now!!
     If you see Dobu, let me know!!!
[18:49] Dobu
    We'll start by checking out
    anything that seems credible.
SIGN    koya @koya_camera411
    Replying to: @kbsw_t
    I saw Dobu wearing a skull mask
    in front of 109!
[18:53] Dobu
    Kabasawa's here in Shibuya, too,
    so we may be able to get them both.
SIGN    Kabasawa Believer @kbsw_god32871
    Replying to: @kbsw_t
    I'm more interested in meeting our god!
[19:11] Kenshiro
    I can't believe we have to go on patrol
    for these fools again this year.
[19:14] Kenshiro
    What's so fun about this? Everyone's just
     making asses of themselves.
[19:18] Kenshiro
    All these guys got their costumes
    a while ago, did their makeup at home,
[19:22] Kenshiro
    and took the train in all the way
    from the boonies, right?
[19:24] Kenshiro
    When they go home, and
     take off the costumes
[19:26] Kenshiro
    and makeup, I wonder if they
     wish they were dead.
[19:28] Kenshiro
    Right, Bro?
[19:31] (Flashback) Odokawa
    Your brother is working with Dobu.
[19:37] Koshiro
    Yeah.
[19:42] Dobu
    According to recent information,
    he's around here.
[19:45] Dobu
    They've even uploaded photos,
    so it should be fairly credible.
[19:48] Dobu
    Huh?
[19:54] Odokawa
    I can't believe we found him so easily.
    The internet is amazing.
[19:58] Dobu
    Since skull mask is targeting you,
    stand a little farther away from me.
[20:02] Odokawa
    What are you going to do?
[20:03] Dobu
    I'll follow you,
[20:04] Dobu
    and if I get the chance,
    I'll drag him into a deserted alleyway.
[20:06] Odokawa
    He's got a gun, right?
[20:07] Dobu
    He'd better have it.
[20:21] Yano
    So persistent, so drawn out,
    my ringtone's imposition.
[20:25] Yano
    I'm dealing with a lot
    over here. Submission.
[20:28] Yano
    Addiction. Wish I could take my medicine
    and go to bed, but a container ship?
[20:33] Yano
    Please zip it. I won't do it again.
    I promise I won't do it again.
[20:36] Yano
    Isn't it about time you told me your name?
[20:39] Yano
    Who's calling?
[20:41] Yano
    Ah, it's the manager, AKA Yamamoto.
[20:44] Yano
    You're calling rather late.
    I'm sure you've got a lot on your plate,
[20:48] Yano
    but time is money.
    That's what you always tell me.
[20:51] Yano
    If you don't get here soon,
    it'll happen again.
[20:54] Yano
    Meet me at the warehouse we
    visited the other day. See you then.
[21:00] Dobu
    That's my gun. Give it back.
[21:03] Skull
    Who the hell are you?
[21:04] Dobu
    Dobu. You know who I am?
[21:06] Skull
    Dobu? You're really him?
[21:09] Skull
    Did you know? Kabasawa-sama's giving
    a million yen to anyone who catches you.
[21:13] Skull
    You've got a bounty on your head.
[21:15] Dobu
    You work for Kabasawa?
[21:17] Skull
    Stay back, or I'll shoot.
[21:26] Dobu
    It's fake.
[21:28] Dobu
    Hey, where's the real gun?
[21:31] Skull
    I don't know.
[21:32] Dobu
    That's not good enough. I'll kill you!
[21:35] Dobu
    You're the one who shot up
    the cabaret club, yeah?
[21:37] Skull
    Wasn't that you? I'm just cosplaying.
[21:40] Skull
    Please forgive me.
[21:41] Dobu
    Don't screw around with me.
[21:43] Skull
    I really don't know!
[21:45] Dobu
    Huh? Where the hell is it?
[21:48] Dobu
    Where is it, huh?
[21:50] Odokawa
    Hey, Dobu. On the left.
[21:51] Odokawa
    It's Kabasawa.
[21:52] Dobu
    That asshole!
[22:03] Dobu
    It's no use.
[22:05] Odokawa
    Wow. This is impossible.
[22:11] Sekiguchi
    Good evening, Yano-san.
[22:13] Yano
    Good evening, Mr. Sekiguchi.
[22:16] Yano
    That track suit looks great on you.
[22:18] Yano
    It's looking more and more
    like it'll come true.
[22:21] Yano
    In accordance with fundamentalism,
    I'll see it all through.
[22:24] Yano
    The violence of the present
    situation is just the preview.
[22:27] Yano
    Time for the next stage.
    Let's keep it flowing.
[22:29] Yano
    So, Eiji Kakihana, how's everything going?
SIGN    Next Time: Bless you
[23:35] Odokawa
    So, is your job search going well?
[23:38] Kabasawa
    I'm having trouble deciding what to do.
[23:40] Kabasawa
    I don't know how I feel about
    working for someone else.
[23:42] Kabasawa
    I can't forget the elation I felt then.
[23:45] Odokawa
    You really did let yourself
    get carried away.

E8 - Bless you

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:04] Sekiguchi
    This guy was a dud.
[01:05] Sekiguchi
    He's actually part-time janitor.
[01:07] Sekiguchi
    Not only that, but he's drowning in debt.
[01:09] Yano
    Drowning in debt and desperate.
[01:12] Yano
    Thought he could get away
    with lyin' about it.
[01:14] Sekiguchi
    The only thing he had on him was this ring.
[01:18] Yano
    An engagement ring? I could cry.
[01:19] Yano
    So desperate to tie the knot he lied?
[01:21] Yano
    Have middle-aged men's brains liquefied?
[01:22] Yano
    Will he tie a noose instead
     after being tossed aside?
[01:24] Yano
    An article of tribute for his fake honey.
[01:26] Yano
    If you ask me, this wasn't worth the money.
[01:30] Yano
    Who's got any use for this counterfeit?
[01:32] Yano
    I've got a few ideas 'bout where he can stick it.
[01:36] Kakihana
    Where's Shiho-chan? Is she all right?
[01:39] Yano
    Hey, Kakihana-chan.
[01:41] Yano
    If you still trust that girl you wanted to
    get with, your brains are in the trash can.
[01:45] Yano
    That calculating girl who flirted with you
    for your money took off and ran.
[01:49] Yano
    In other words, it was a scam.
[01:51] Yano
    I'm the one who told her to wait and
     see what your lame ass would do.
[01:54] Yano
    Let you think you'd won before
    sucking you dry and killing you.
[02:01] Dobu
    That's all for today.
    I'll come up with a new plan.
SIGN    Fuyuki Yamamoto
     Incoming Call
[02:08] Dobu
    Hey, isn't this the guy you said
    wanted your dash cam data?
[02:13] Odokawa
    That's right.
[02:14] Dobu
    Answer and put it on speakerphone.
[02:19] Odokawa
    Hello?
[02:20] Yamamoto
    Ah, Odokawa-san. Could you
    come pick me up right away?
[02:23] Odokawa
    This is sudden. Does it have to be me?
[02:25] Yamamoto
    Aren't most pickups sudden?
[02:27] Yamamoto
    It's one of those girls who
    can't be seen by the public.
[02:31] Odokawa
    Where?
[02:32] Yamamoto
    A short distance away from Shibuya.
[02:35] Odokawa
    Got it. I'll be there in ten minutes.
[02:38] Yamamoto
    Thanks.
[02:41] Odokawa
    What should I do? He'll probably
    ask for my dash cam data.
[02:49] Dobu
    Let me ride in the trunk.
[02:51] Dobu
    I'll eavesdrop on your conversation
    through your phone.
[02:55] Odokawa
    I can't do that. As far as I'm concerned,
    he's a harmless passenger.
[03:00] Dobu
    Then ask him why he really wants the data,
[03:04] Dobu
    and if he's connected to Yano,
    then tell me about it later.
[03:07] Odokawa
    Don't you think he'd lie about that?
[03:09] Dobu
    That's right. That's why violence
    is the only way to get people to talk.
[03:13] Dobu
    Let me meet him.
[03:15] Dobu
    I'm the one who has the dash cam data.
[03:17] Dobu
    I'm sure Yamamoto wants to meet me, too.
[03:19] Odokawa
    I can't let you do that.
[03:21] Odokawa
    I have to go. I told him
    I'd be there in ten minutes.
[03:23] Dobu
    Fine. If he asks for your
    dash cam data, tell him this.
[03:28] Dobu
    You'll sell it to him for one billion yen.
[03:35] Yamamoto
    Sorry, Odokawa-san. Could you take us
    to Shibaura Harbor in a hurry?
[03:39] Odokawa
    The harbor?
[03:40] Odokawa
    Hey, it's the girl who likes hot springs.
[03:47] Odokawa
    A calico cat. Where have I seen one before?
[03:51] Yamamoto
    What are you talking about, Odokawa-san?
[03:56] Ichimura
    Hey, am I going to meet Ya—that guy?
[04:01] Yamamoto
    Yeah. I'm sorry, but if you want to quit,
    you have to tell him yourself.
[04:04] Ichimura
    I worked really hard, though.
[04:06] Yamamoto
    Apparently, that target didn't work out.
[04:08] Ichimura
    What? You mean he didn't have money?
[04:10] Ichimura
    Is that old man serious?
[04:12] Yamamoto
    Oh, right. I just remembered.
[04:14] Yamamoto
    Have you considered my request
    to hand over your dash cam data?
[04:18] Odokawa
    Yeah, sure.
[04:19] Yamamoto
    Really?
[04:20] Odokawa
    I'll sell it to you.
[04:21] Yamamoto
    For how much?
[04:22] Odokawa
    One billion.
[04:25] Yamamoto
    That's the kind of price
    a child would come up with.
[04:30] Yamamoto
    What? You're being serious?
[04:33] Odokawa
    Super serious.
[04:34] Yamamoto
    This is ridiculous, Odokawa-san.
    You're gouging me here.
[04:37] Odokawa
    I found someone who said
    they'd buy it for 900 million.
[04:40] Odokawa
    That's why I want one billion.
[04:42] Yamamoto
    You're lying.
[04:47] Yamamoto
    Who is it?
[04:49] Odokawa
    I can't tell you that.
[04:56] Yamamoto
    If that's true, then I need
    to discuss this with someone.
[04:59] Odokawa
    Discuss it all you want.
[05:02] Odokawa
    I wouldn't mind 900 million or one billion.
[05:06] Yamamoto
    I'll be in touch.
[05:26] Sekiguchi
    Doesn't this seem like not enough profit?
[05:28] Sekiguchi
    Is this all we make from concerts?
[05:29] Yamamoto
    They weren't the only ones performing today.
[05:32] Sekiguchi
    Why's she here?
[05:34] Yamamoto
    She doesn't want to run
    badger games anymore,
[05:36] Yamamoto
    so she's here to talk to Yano-san.
[05:39] Sekiguchi
    Ah.
[05:42] Sekiguchi
    He's busy right now.
[05:45] Yamamoto
    More importantly, I've got some bad news.
[05:48] Yamamoto
    Could I talk to him for a few minutes?
[05:49] Sekiguchi
    Bad news?
[05:51] Yamamoto
    It's about the dash cam.
[05:51] Kakihana
    Shiho-chan!
[05:53] Kakihana
    You're being tricked, right?
[05:55] Kakihana
    I'll protect you from these guys!
[06:03] Kakihana
    It's okay, Shiho-chan.
    I'm actually pretty strong.
[06:07] Kakihana
    I've mastered every martial art there is,
    from sumo for kids to whatever-jiujitsu.
[06:13] Ichimura
    Don't get the wrong idea, mister.
    Seriously, I can't even.
[06:16] Kakihana
    Shiho-chan, they're making
    you say that, aren't they?
[06:19] Kakihana
    Didn't we have fun together?
[06:21] Kakihana
    We ate lots of good food together!
[06:24] Ichimura
    Spending time with you was painful.
[06:26] Ichimura
    That's why I want to quit
    running badger games.
[06:29] Kakihana
    You're lying! Liar!
[06:32] Kakihana
    You're not the kind of girl who says that!
[06:34] Kakihana
    Shiho-chan, you're a liar!
[06:35] Ichimura
    You're the liar, you bum. You're broke.
[06:38] Kakihana
    Why?! Why would you say that?!
[06:42] Kakihana
    I don't believe you! You're lying!
[06:50] Sekiguchi
    Shut up.
SIGN    Ayumu Goriki
SIGN    Can you tell who this is?
SIGN    Can you tell who this is?
SIGN    It's Kakihana, you unemployed bum.
SIGN    Wanna get drinks at Yamabiko right now?
[07:19] Odokawa
    It's been a while. I guess I'll go.
SIGN    Goriki Clinic
[07:23] Goriki
    Can you tell from this photo
    that this is Kakihana?
[07:26] Shirakawa
    I guess I'd believe you
    if you told me it was him.
[07:29] Shirakawa
    I doubt I'd know if I were just
    shown this photo without context.
[07:32] Goriki
    Yeah.
[07:34] Shirakawa
    It only took Odokawa-san
    a second to identify him.
[07:36] Shirakawa
    Does that tell us anything?
[07:38] Goriki
    At first I thought Odokawa
    had an exceptional memory,
[07:41] Goriki
    but it doesn't feel right.
[07:43] Shirakawa
    You're right. I thought
    maybe he had good instincts.
[07:47] Goriki
    It's almost like synesthesia.
[07:50] Shirakawa
    Synesthesia?
[07:51] Goriki
    It's when one sense is stimulated,
[07:53] Goriki
    and a completely different
    sense is triggered.
[07:57] Goriki
    Like seeing colors or feeling textures
    when you hear sounds or see letters.
[08:01] Goriki
    Maybe Odokawa has some kind
    of indicator for telling people apart
[08:04] Goriki
    and is basing it on that.
[08:07] Shirakawa
    I don't know if this is related,
[08:10] Shirakawa
    but apparently Odokawa-san has been
    speaking to someone in his home,
[08:13] Shirakawa
    and he's clearly not talking to himself.
[08:16] Goriki
    Regarding that, if there really
    isn't anybody there,
[08:20] Goriki
    then maybe it's an imaginary friend.
[08:23] Shirakawa
    Like a figment of his imagination?
[08:26] Goriki
    Yeah.
[08:27] Goriki
    You might already know, but he's lived alone
[08:30] Goriki
    since his parents abandoned him
    when he was in grade school.
[08:34] Shirakawa
    Alone?
[08:35] Goriki
    Apparently some kind of NPO
    that supports orphans
[08:38] Goriki
    sent him money to cover his living expenses.
[08:41] Goriki
    He pretends that he wanted for nothing
[08:43] Goriki
    and experienced no
    difficulties because of that.
[08:45] Goriki
    But if he's invented an imaginary friend,
[08:48] Goriki
    then he may be under more
    stress than he realizes.
[08:53] Shirakawa
    When did the two of you meet?
[08:56] Goriki
    About three years ago, I think.
[08:58] Shirakawa
    I thought it was this year when he first
    started seeing you for consultations.
[09:01] Shirakawa
    Had he been coming
    to the clinic before that?
[09:03] Goriki
    No. I rode in his taxi as a passenger first.
[09:07] Shibagaki
    It's finally starting.
[09:09] Baba
    Sure has.
[09:10] Shibagaki
    We used to broadcast in just Osaka,
    but now we've gone national.
[09:13] Baba
    That's right. Starting this year,
    the Homosapiens have expanded to Tokyo.
[09:16] Shibagaki
    For real. I'm overjoyed.
[09:17] (Flashback) Goriki
    Could you turn that off? It's annoying.
[09:17] Baba
    For sure.
[09:18] Shibagaki
    Got here sooner than I expected.
[09:19] Baba
    Yeah, seriously.
[09:20] Shibagaki
    Guess we should keep trying, then—
[09:28] (Flashback) Odokawa
    How old are you?
[09:30] (Flashback) Goriki
    38.
[09:33] (Flashback) Odokawa
    We're the same age?
    You seem so dignified, though.
[09:36] (Flashback) Goriki
    Hey, that's rude. Mind your manners.
[09:39] (Flashback) Odokawa
    Manners? You act like you're real important.
[09:43] (Flashback) Odokawa
    What, do you think
    the customer is always right?
[09:45] (Flashback) Odokawa
    I bet you look down on taxi drivers.
[09:47] (Flashback) Goriki
    You got some kind of pent-up anger, or what?
[09:50] (Flashback) Goriki
    It's not anyone's fault
    that your life isn't going well.
[09:52] (Flashback) Goriki
    It's not your environment's
    fault, either. It's your fault.
[09:55] (Flashback) Goriki
    You should resolve it yourself
    without bothering others.
[09:59] (Flashback) Odokawa
    Of course. Doctors speak
    differently from the rest of us.
[10:02] (Flashback) Odokawa
    Hey, that got to you.
[10:04] (Flashback) Odokawa
    That's charming. Good for you.
[10:06] (Flashback) Goriki
    How'd you know?
[10:08] (Flashback) Odokawa
    I'm psychic.
[10:12] (Flashback) Goriki
    Then why didn't you know my age?
[10:15] (Flashback) Odokawa
    Psychic powers come in a variety of flavors.
[10:17] (Flashback) Odokawa
    I can see souls.
[10:20] (Flashback) Odokawa
    And your soul's been screaming, "I'm a doctor."
[10:24] (Flashback) Odokawa
    As for your age, I couldn't tell because
    your soul and body are so separated.
[10:30] (Flashback) Odokawa
    In other words, you look old.
[10:36] (Flashback) Goriki
    You're funny.
[10:38] (Flashback) Goriki
    In that case, can you hear what my soul
    is shouting now? What's it saying?
[10:41] (Flashback) Odokawa
    "Don't turn. Head straight ahead."
[10:47] (Flashback) Odokawa
    Turning here gets us to your clinic faster.
[10:51] Goriki
    I was shocked. It really was a shortcut.
[10:55] Goriki
    At first, I thought he had
    an exceptional sense of smell
[10:58] Goriki
    that allowed him to pick up on the
    distinctive hospital smell coming off of me.
[11:02] Shirakawa
    But you think it's synesthesia?
[11:04] Goriki
    When I asked how he did it later,
    he said it was nothing.
[11:06] Goriki
    He'd just had me as a passenger before.
[11:09] Shirakawa
    So you thought it was his memory.
[11:12] Goriki
    Yeah. I thought it was impressive, if true.
[11:15] Goriki
    That's why synesthesia makes sense to me.
[11:19] Goriki
    I'm going to Yamabiko for a drink.
[11:21] Goriki
    Shirakawa-san, do you want to come with me?
[11:25] Shirakawa
    If I go, I imagine Odokawa-san would leave.
[11:31] Odokawa
    Mochi kinchaku and daikon radish.
[11:34] Odokawa
    I'd like some kind of nerimono, too.
[11:39] Odokawa
    Wait a minute. You've got
    a Donraku Shofutei autograph.
SIGN    To Yamabiko
    Donraku
[11:42] Taeko
    That's right. He stopped by the other day.
[11:45] Odokawa
    Really? Wow.
[11:47] Goriki
    You sure do like him, Odokawa.
[11:49] Taeko
    He sat right over there with an
    incredibly cross look on his face.
[11:52] Goriki
    He came alone?
[11:54] Taeko
    He had an attendant with him,
    as well as a driver outside.
[11:57] Odokawa
    What did they talk about?
[11:59] Taeko
    How young comedians these days
    are obsessed with innovation
[12:02] Taeko
    and don't have the basics down.
[12:03] Taeko
    Or how he pretends he doesn't mince words.
[12:06] Taeko
    Or how being a commentator
    or judging comedy contests
[12:09] Taeko
    doesn't benefit him in any way.
[12:11] Taeko
    I thought he was getting mad,
[12:13] Taeko
    but then, he started cackling
    while reminiscing about his old mentor.
[12:16] Odokawa
    You totally eavesdropped.
[12:19] Goriki
    Oh, right, Odokawa. Let me quiz you.
[12:22] Odokawa
    What's gotten into you?
[12:22] Odokawa
    Does losing your job make you
    turn back into a child?
[12:25] Taeko
    I'd like to play, too.
[12:26] Goriki
    Sure. You can join us.
[12:28] Goriki
    Can you tell who this is?
[12:31] Odokawa
    Is this your thing these days?
[12:32] Taeko
    How am I supposed to know?
[12:35] Goriki
    Exactly. But Odokawa
    identified him immediately.
[12:39] Odokawa
    It's clearly Kakihana.
[12:41] Taeko
    But that's just how Odokawa-san is.
[12:43] Taeko
    He remembers the faces
    of customers I don't recognize.
[12:46] Taeko
    I bet you'd be good at customer service.
[12:48] Odokawa
    I can't unless they make an impression.
[12:51] Goriki
    That's not the question here.
[12:55] Goriki
    Do you know who this is?
SIGN    Inbox
SIGN    Got it. I'll stop by later.
[12:57] Odokawa
    Of course not.
[12:59] Goriki
    Really?
[13:00] Odokawa
    Really.
[13:01] Taeko
    Odokawa-san, are you psychic?
    Like Psychometrer What's-his-name?
[13:04] Goriki
    What's this, then?
[13:06] Odokawa
    A bird?
[13:07] Taeko
    Even I know that one. It's a bird.
[13:10] Goriki
    Correct.
[13:11] Odokawa
    Are you making fun of me?
[13:12] Goriki
    Next, this one.
[13:14] Odokawa
    Shirakawa-san.
[13:16] Odokawa
    What the hell have you been up to?
[13:18] Taeko
    That's Shirakawa-san?
    Is this some kind of kink?
[13:20] Taeko
    Mixing your personal and professional
     lives? My, how scandalous.
[13:23] Goriki
    I see.
[13:24] Odokawa
    What are you trying to pull?
[13:26] Goriki
    Nevermind. Let's drink.
[13:28] Goriki
    Ma'am, drink with us.
[13:29] Taeko
    Perhaps I'll have a drink, then.
[13:30] Odokawa
    Must be nice being unemployed.
SIGN    To Yamabiko
    Donraku
[13:32] Goriki
    I know. Why don't we call Kakihana?
[13:34] Goriki
    I bet he'll come if I say I'm paying.
SIGN    Goriki
[13:50] Sekiguchi
    So, Yamamoto, what's your bad news?
[13:53] Yamamoto
    It's about the dash cam data.
[13:57] Yamamoto
    Apparently someone else has
    offered to buy it for 900 million.
[14:00] Sekicuhi
    900 million? He's lying so he can gouge you.
[14:03] Yamamoto
    I hope you're right, but we need to get
    that dash cam data soon.
[14:07] Yamamoto
    It was on the news the other day.
[14:09] Yamamoto
    I haven't been able to sleep since then.
[14:11] Yamamoto
    I keep expecting my doorbell to ring.
[14:15] Sekiguchi
    Quit your whining!
[14:20] Yamamoto
    Mystery Kiss is doing great right now.
[14:22] Yamamoto
    Their CD is about to go on sale!
[14:24] Sekiguchi
    You mean they'll make more money?
[14:27] Yamamoto
    Yes, and a guy who's a fan of our Nikaido
[14:31] Yamamoto
    won one billion yen in the lottery.
[14:34] Yamamoto
    I'm not sure if it's true or not,
[14:35] Yamamoto
    but I imagine he'll spend
    quite a lot of money on us.
[14:39] Sekiguchi
    One billion? Robbing him
    would be more profitable.
[14:43] Yamamoto
    That won't help Mystery Kiss get big!
[14:45] Yano
    Okay, okay. Nikaido sure is cute.
[14:47] Yano
    Ask her if she'd like to spend
    a night with me nude.
[14:50] Yano
    I was picturing that future but still listening to you.
[14:54] Yano
    My instincts tell me Dobu-san is involved.
[14:55] Yano
    Like the cop from those books.
    Inspector Totsugawa, I think he was called.
[15:00] Sekiguchi
    Dobu-san offered to buy
    the data for 900 million?
[15:02] Yano
    That's what I'm thinkin'.
[15:03] Yano
    He knows the guy who has
    the one billion, let that sink in.
[15:06] Yano
    He's tryin' to get us to
    rob him, and earn a free win.
[15:08] Yano
    Or Dobu-san himself is planning
     to rob the fella, I know.
[15:11] Yano
    I can see his train of thought
    clearly as it comes and goes.
[15:13] Yano
    That's what makes me the best, y'know?!
[15:17] Sekiguchi
    So, what should we do?
[15:18] Yano
    What should we do? We do what we can.
[15:20] Yano
    For now, we'll just play
    along with his little plan.
[15:23] Yano
    He's a tasty target for us, too, so I'm a fan.
[15:26] Yano
    A few million would be another story.
[15:28] Yano
    But playing the odds
    for a billion? Mandatory.
[15:30] Yano
    Dobu-san's trying to make
    money by ripping off my act.
[15:33] Yano
    Without a doubt, he's a shitty copycat.
[15:34] Yano
    I'd like to take him down,
    but I need forty winks.
[15:37] Yano
    Game set for tonight,
    tomorrow it's time to think.
[15:40] Sekiguchi
    What should we do with him?
[15:42] Yano
    He's an extra life in video game terms.
[15:46] Yano
    We should hold onto all the sacrificial
    pawns we can, as far as I'm concerned.
[15:49] Yano
    The more you have, the more
    prepared you'll be for misfortune.
[15:52] Yano
    You understand that, right?
    Then don't speak, okay?
[15:54] Yano
    I'll be thinkin' about you night and day.
[15:57] Yano
    Until he cashes that lottery ticket,
    we'll be keeping you locked away.
[16:02] Yano
    So, Kakihana, live as long as you can.
[16:05] Yano
    Are you of sound mind?
    This might be the last time, man.
SIGN    Mom
[16:08] Yano
    Talk to her before you forget how.
[16:10] Yano
    I called her number for you just now.
[16:13] Kakihana
    Hey, Mom. Sorry for calling so late.
[16:17] Kakihana
    No, it's nothing.
[16:20] Kakihana
    I was just wondering how you're doing.
[16:23] Kakihana
    The other day, I said I might
    be getting married, but...
[16:30] Kakihana
    It's not happening.
[16:35] Odokawa
    Hey, Dobu. To your left. It's Kabasawa.
SIGN    [Assault] Dobu's violence finally caught on camera!! [Injury]
[16:38] Kabasawa
    As you just saw, I finally
    succeeded in filming him myself.
[16:41] Kabasawa
    The Kabasawa Online Salon
    closed community met in Shibuya
[16:46] Kabasawa
    wearing skull masks for a million yen prize
    for whoever catches him,
[16:49] Kabasawa
    but one of our members became his victim.
[16:51] Kabasawa
    He won't get away with this!
[16:52] Kabasawa
    So, everyone, let's corner Dobu.
[16:55] Kabasawa
    If you'd like to help, please join
    the Kabasawa Online Salon.
[16:59] Kabasawa
    We're trying to break ten thousand members.
[17:01] Kabasawa
    For a limited time, the monthly fee
    is just ten thousand yen!
[17:04] Kabasawa
    Anyway, didn't that video
    strike you as a little odd?
[17:08] Kabasawa
    That voice at the end shouting,
    "Hey, Dobu. To your left. It's Kabasawa."
[17:12] Kabasawa
    Who was that?
[17:13] Kabasawa
    I think there's a traitor in the salon.
[17:16] Kabasawa
    After all, I was wearing this then.
[17:20] Kabasawa
    How did they know?! It doesn't make sense!
[17:22] Kabasawa
    Whoever finds the traitor
    gets a million yen, too!
[17:25] Kabasawa
    The Online Salon is jumping at shadows now!
[17:27] Kabasawa
    Show them our solidarity! Catch them!
[17:29] Kabasawa
    Catch Dobu! Catch the traitor!
[17:29] Man
    This thing has a ton of views.
    I bet he's made a lot of money.
[17:32] Kabasawa
    That's right, you!
    I promise I'll expose you!
[17:33] Woman
    I know, right? But apparently
    he's starting to gain haters.
[17:36] Woman
    They say he's a one-hit
    wonder and a coward.
SIGN    New message
    Taeko
     I haven't heard from Kakihana-san in a week.
    Do you know where he is?
SIGN    N-1 Grand Prix 2021
SIGN    Results – Schedule
SIGN    What is N-1 2021?
     The N-1 2021 is a hardcore national contest for
     professional and amateur "manzai" comedians.
SIGN    30 Semifinalist Groups
SIGN    Callop
SIGN    The Goose
SIGN    Bam Bam Bigelow
SIGN    Japan's Section Chief
SIGN    Yamori-tei
SIGN    Jerry Don
SIGN    Kyoto Hoteison
SIGN    Mrs. Osborne
SIGN    Ao-momiji
SIGN    Orange Victory
SIGN    Homosapiens
SIGN    Fuyu and Hikoki
SIGN    Homosapiens
[17:57] Shibagaki
    We made it to the semifinals.
[18:00] Shibagaki
    Yeah!
[18:03] Dobu
    So, Yamamoto the manager seemed flustered?
[18:07] Odokawa
    Yeah. He wanted to know who
    was trying to buy it for 900 million.
[18:12] Dobu
    He was heading to a warehouse
    at the harbor, right?
[18:14] Dobu
    He's definitely connected to Yano, then.
[18:17] Odokawa
    Was the boss's classmate's
    daughter in the dash cam data?
[18:22] Dobu
    I checked, but I don't know
    which passenger she would be.
[18:26] Dobu
    And it's not like I can show the boss.
[18:28] Odokawa
    So, what are you going to do next?
[18:31] Dobu
    I'm gonna rob a bank.
[18:36] Odokawa
    What? Sorry, I wasn't listening.
SIGN    Recording 1.wav
[18:39] Odokawa
    Apparently my friend is missing.
[18:42] Dobu
    I'm going to rob a bank.
[18:45] Odokawa
    Are you stupid? How, in this day and age?
[18:48] Dobu
    To be precise, I'm going to rob someone
    who's at the bank to make a withdrawal.
[18:52] Dobu
    I want you to help me.
[18:53] Odokawa
    Is the risk-return worth it?
[18:56] Odokawa
    Nobody walks around with that much cash.
[18:58] Dobu
    It's worth the risk. After all,
    he'll have one billion yen.
[19:02] Odokawa
    What do you mean? Explain.
[19:05] Dobu
    It takes a week or two to get
    enough cash for a large withdrawal.
[19:10] Dobu
    They're supposed to contact me
    when that happens.
[19:13] Dobu
    They'll let me know who's receiving
    how much cash on what day at what time,
[19:18] Dobu
    because I've bribed a bank employee.
[19:21] Odokawa
    And then you're free to do
    what you want with them?
[19:23] Dobu
    That's right. That's when
    the real crime begins.
[19:27] Odokawa
    Where did the number one
    billion yen come from?
[19:29] Dobu
    The bank in question exchanges
    lottery tickets for money.
[19:33] Dobu
    Anyone who wins a large
    amount has to go there.
[19:36] Odokawa
    Even so, nobody would withdraw
    that much money in cash.
[19:39] Dobu
    But recently, someone has
    appeared on the internet
[19:42] Dobu
    claiming to have won one billion yen.
[19:44] Dobu
    Yano's probably aware of him, too.
[19:47] Dobu
    Because I demanded one
    billion from Yamamoto,
[19:51] Dobu
    Yano will go after that guy
    for his one billion yen.
[19:54] Dobu
    I don't know if they'll threaten him,
[19:56] Dobu
    but they'll force him to withdraw the money.
[20:00] Dobu
    I'll be waiting for that opportunity.
[20:02] Dobu
    It's what you call fishing
    in troubled waters.
[20:04] Odokawa
    Can you trust someone
    who makes that claim online?
[20:08] Dobu
    If it's fake, that's fine.
[20:11] Dobu
    Somebody won one billion yen.
[20:13] Dobu
    Yano and his crew will find them.
[20:15] Odokawa
    How much is one billion yen in cash?
[20:18] Odokawa
    Can it be easily stolen?
[20:20] Dobu
    It weighs about 100 kilos.
    Not impossible to carry.
[20:23] Odokawa
    I doubt the bank employees will help you.
[20:26] Odokawa
    Do you have other allies?
[20:27] Dobu
    Among the police, yeah.
[20:29] Odokawa
    Who?
[20:30] Dobu
    You've been asking some very thoughtful
    and expository questions.
[20:35] Dobu
    Like you're trying to get me to commit
    to answers for a third party to listen to.
[20:40] Odokawa
    I'm getting involved in a major crime here.
[20:43] Odokawa
    Of course I want to know the details.
[20:44] Dobu
    Who, huh? I'm sure you have some idea.
[20:48] Odokawa
    I don't. Who is it?
[20:51] Dobu
    Daimon.
[20:53] Odokawa
    Really? Which one?
[20:55] Dobu
    The older brother.
SIGN    Recording 1.wav
SIGN    End Recording
[20:59] Dobu
    Is Kakihana your missing friend?
[21:03] Odokawa
    Yeah. I'm worried about him.
[21:04] Odokawa
    I'm going to look for him
    where I think I might find him.
[21:07] Dobu
    Be ready to go anytime.
    Stay nimble and alert.
[21:10] Dobu
    We haven't found skull mask
    or Kabasawa yet, either—
[21:14] Odokawa
    Don't treat me like your henchman.
[21:19] Imai
    Thank you.
[21:20] Salaryman
    You could definitely see half her chest!
[21:23] Imai
    Hello?
[21:25] Imai
    Well, if it isn't Odokawa-sama.
[21:27] Odokawa
    I'm coming to pick you up. Get off work.
[21:30] Imai
    What? Really?
SIGN    To: Little Daimon
SIGN    Subject:
SIGN    Attachments:
SIGN    Recording 1.wav
SIGN    Message Sent
SIGN    Your message has been sent.
SIGN    Back
SIGN    Eiji Kakihana
    Calling
[21:44] Odokawa
    What is that monkey doing?
SIGN    Kabukicho Ichiban-gai
[21:53] Imai
    What is it, Odokawa-sama?
[21:55] Odokawa
    When are you going to cash
    your one billion yen?
[21:57] Imai
    Mystery Kiss' CD is going
    on sale on Christmas.
[22:00] Imai
    I thought I'd time it with that.
[22:02] Imai
    I'm going to pre-order
    300,000 this time.
[22:04] Imai
    When you think of it that way,
    one billion doesn't seem like much.
[22:07] Odokawa
    Could you wait a little longer
    to redeem your ticket?
[22:10] Odokawa
    Some gangsters are after your money.
[22:13] Imai
    Seriously?! That's super scary!
[22:16] Odokawa
    It's because you posted
    about it online, you idiot.
[22:18] Odokawa
    I want you to change residences
    and lay low for a while.
[22:21] Odokawa
    Also, is that picture of your
    winning lottery ticket still online?
[22:24] Imai
    Huh?
[22:25] Odokawa
    Edit it and re-upload it.
[22:28] Odokawa
    Say you actually didn't win.
[22:30] Odokawa
    That you wanted to show off.
    Pretend you're a pitiful idiot.
[22:33] Imai
    Will that work?
[22:34] Odokawa
    I don't know if this will
    make you feel better,
[22:36] Odokawa
    but you do want to live a long life, right?
[22:38] Imai
    Yes. I can't die until Mystery Kiss
    takes over the country.
[22:42] Imai
    Mystery Kiss has been
    through a lot of hardship,
[22:44] Imai
    but their spring's finally on the horizon!
[22:50] Imai
    Ow. What was that for, Odokawa-sama?
[22:54] Odokawa
    What did you just say?
[22:56] Imai
    Ow. What was that for, Odokawa-sama?
[22:59] Odokawa
    Before that.
[23:00] Imai
    Mystery Kiss' CD is going
    on sale on Christmas.
[23:04] Imai
    I thought I'd time it with that.
[23:05] Imai
    I'm going to pre-order
    300,000 this time.
[23:08] Imai
    When you think of it that way,
    one billion doesn't seem like much.
[23:10] Odokawa
    That's too far back.
[23:11] Imai
    What? I can't die until Mystery
    Kiss takes over the country.
[23:14] Odokawa
    After that.
[23:15] Imai
    Their spring's finally on the horizon.
[23:19] (Flashback) Kakihana
    My spring's finally on the horizon, though.
SIGN    Kakihana-san!!
    Good luck at work
[23:21] (Flashback) Kakihana
    Well, read it and weep.
[23:26] Odokawa
    How could I forget about that?
    Stupid, stupid, stupid!
[23:31] Odokawa
    She's a calico cat.
SIGN    Next Time: The Hero's Melancholy
[23:35] Kakihana
    Good to see ya, Odokawa!
[23:37] Kakihana
    You gettin' enough to drink?
    Is your glass empty?
[23:40] Odokawa
    What are you...
[23:42] Odokawa
    Hey, Kakihana. What's gotten into you?
[23:44] Kakihana
    All these painful memories
    came flooding back...
[23:47] Odokawa
    You sound totally screwed.

E9 - The Hero's Melancholy

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    The Hero's Melancholy
[01:33] Koshiro
    I listened to the recording.
[01:34] Odokawa
    Pretty conclusive evidence, isn't it?
[01:36] Koshiro
    Dobu only named my brother.
SIGN    Little Daimon
[01:38] Koshiro
    Maybe he lied out of desperation.
[01:40] Koshiro
    All we know for sure is that Dobu is
    planning to rob a bank. That's all.
[01:45] Odokawa
    Your love for your brother is beautiful.
[01:47] Odokawa
    But that's good enough for me.
[01:49] Odokawa
    I want to let Dobu keep going for now.
[01:51] Koshiro
    Where are you now, Odokawa?
[01:53] Odokawa
    My friend may have been kidnapped.
[01:55] Odokawa
    I'm going to rescue him.
[01:57] Koshiro
    Sounds like a case, Odokawa.
[01:58] Odokawa
    That's right. Evil is afoot.
[02:00] Koshiro
    That's unbelievably evil. And if evil is
    afoot, then it's time for me to act.
[02:03] Odokawa
    You're going to help me?
[02:04] Koshiro
    Of course. Punishing evil is my job.
[02:08] Koshiro
    Where should I go?
[02:09] Odokawa
    Shibaura Wharf.
[02:10] Koshiro
    Outside my jurisdiction.
[02:11] Odokawa
    Don't come, then.
[02:12] Koshiro
    Wait.
[02:12] Koshiro
    I doubt you're aware, but there's this thing
    called extra-jurisdictional authority.
[02:16] Odokawa
    You're welcome to help as Little
    Daimon the private citizen,
[02:20] Odokawa
    but for now, I don't need
    help from the cops.
[02:22] Koshiro
    That's incredibly insulting.
[02:24] Odokawa
    I'm doing this to exterminate evil.
[02:26] Koshiro
    If you don't tear it out by the
    roots, it just comes back.
SIGN    Little Daimon
[02:28] Odokawa
    That's right. You're quick on the uptake.
[02:31] Odokawa
    I'm trying to get rid of
    them all in one fell swoop,
[02:33] Odokawa
    so I need the cops to wait a little longer.
[02:35] Koshiro
    Damn it.
[02:36] Koshiro
    It's frustrating, but if the alternative
    is being overrun by evil,
[02:39] Koshiro
    then I'll have to turn a blind eye to it.
[02:40] Odokawa
    Where the hell did you learn those words?
[02:42] Odokawa
    I'm in a hurry. I'll talk to you later.
SIGN    #dobu #taichikabasawa #judgment #amazingepisode
SIGN     Video of shooting at
    Shinjuku cabaret club acquired!
SIGN    2,450,000 views – 1 week ago
SIGN    Share Download Save
SIGN    Taichi Kabasawa
SIGN    2,100,000 subscribers
SIGN    Subscribe
SIGN    Posted 11/01/2021
SIGN    Dobu sightings and fan letters ↓ kbsw_t@jmail.com Official Kabasawa Zwitter ↓
SIGN    Subject:
SIGN    1 hour from now, Dobu will show up at Shibaura Wharf. Be a real hero.
[03:14] Reina
    You haven't uploaded any videos recently.
[03:17] Reina
    You should catch Dobu soon
    and become a real hero.
[03:21] Reina
    You know you've been
    getting more haters recently?
[03:25] Reina
    They're saying you're not a hero.
[03:27] Reina
    That you're just an approval-hungry monster.
[03:30] Reina
    That you're scared of Dobu.
[03:32] Reina
    That you brainwashed them into making
    offerings, but they've come to their senses.
[03:35] Reina
    That once you peel back your pretense
    of divinity, you're just an ordinary guy.
[03:39] Reina
    That you're just a one-hit wonder.
[03:41] Reina
    That you're sleeping with
     your female followers...
[03:43] Reina
    Oh, I guess that last one is true.
[03:45] Reina
    It frustrates me, y'know?
[03:47] Reina
    I can't just tell them
    Kabasawa-sama is the real deal.
[03:51] Reina
    Looking at you lately,
    I realize that you really are—
[03:54] Kabasawa
    Shut up.
[03:55] Kabasawa
    You don't know me!
[03:57] Kabasawa
    Society made all this fuss about me!
[03:59] Kabasawa
    They thrust this attention
    on me, put me in the line of fire!
[04:01] Kabasawa
    I didn't ask to be deified!
[04:02] Kabasawa
    You don't know the kind
    of pressure I'm under!
[04:06] Kabasawa
    I'm so scared, I don't know what to do!
[04:08] Kabasawa
    This is who your god is!
[04:10] Kabasawa
    This is who your hero is!
[04:12] Kabasawa
    Leave, bitch!
SIGN    11/7 Sunday
SIGN    1 hour from now...
SIGN    1 hour from now, Dobu will show up at Shibaura Wharf. Be a real hero.
[04:45] Dobu
    You're treating me like your bodyguard?
[04:47] Dobu
    You've really made it, haven't you, Odokawa?
[04:49] Odokawa
    Still acting like my superior, I see.
[04:51] Dobu
    That's right. Sorry.
[04:53] Dobu
    Our goals are different,
[04:55] Dobu
    but we're partners on the same level,
    who are temporarily working together.
[04:59] Dobu
    So, where's Kakihana?
[05:01] Odokawa
    Shibaura Wharf.
[05:03] Dobu
    Hold on. Isn't that—
[05:06] Odokawa
    The girl Kakihana met through a dating site
[05:09] Odokawa
    and the girl who was with
    Yamamoto are the same person.
[05:12] Odokawa
    Kakihana went missing at the same time
    Yamamoto and his girl headed to the wharf.
[05:17] Odokawa
    They're probably running a badger game.
[05:20] Dobu
    That would make it Yano's job.
[05:23] Dobu
    I can't do anything about that.
[05:25] Odokawa
    I don't care about the decorum
    of your criminal activities.
[05:28] Odokawa
    I only care about rescuing Kakihana.
[05:30] Dobu
    This is gonna be a pain in the ass.
[05:32] Odokawa
    Isn't Yano your junior?
[05:34] Odokawa
    You're the one obsessed with hierarchies
    and pledges made over sake cups.
[05:37] Odokawa
    You should be able to
    resolve this by talking—
[05:39] Dobu
    That doesn't work with Yano.
[05:42] Dobu
    There's an unspoken rule that we don't
    interfere with each other's business.
[05:45] Dobu
    I may not get along with Yano,
[05:48] Dobu
    but we're both trying
    to make money for the boss.
[05:52] Odokawa
    If I can't save Kakihana,
    I'm not helping you rob a bank.
[05:57] Odokawa
    Wouldn't that mean Yano
    is interfering with your job?
[06:00] Dobu
    You think you're so witty, don't you?
[06:13] Dobu
    Get down!
[06:15] Dobu
    Shit, it grazed me.
[06:24] Dobu
    Park us somewhere. I'm taking back my gun.
[06:26] Odokawa
    No way. He's trying to kill me.
[06:29] Dobu
    I thought you didn't care if you died.
[06:31] Odokawa
    No, no, no. I don't like pain.
[06:34] Odokawa
    He's terrifying. What's his problem?
[06:35] Odokawa
    Are we still in Japan?
[07:00] Dobu
    Ow...
[07:02] Odokawa
    Let's run for it.
[07:16] Odokawa
    Looks like we lost him.
[07:17] Dobu
    Why did you run?
[07:19] Dobu
    That was a one-in-a-million chance.
[07:22] Odokawa
    I can't let you or I die right now.
[07:31] Kakihana
    Excuse me.
[07:32] Kakihana
    Um, excuse me.
[07:34] Sekiguchi
    Huh? Again?
[07:37] Sekiguchi
    You got a tiny bladder, or what? Jeez.
[07:40] Sekiguchi
    This is just like the problem
    of keeping death row inmates
[07:43] Sekiguchi
    who aren't assigned
    to penal labor incarcerated.
[07:46] Sekiguchi
    You gotta take care of 'em.
[07:57] Sekiguchi
    I'm leaving, so you'd better get it all out.
[08:01] Sekiguchi
    I'll come back to check
    on you in about three days.
[08:08] Dobu
    Why are you scared of water?
[08:10] Odokawa
    Who knows? Maybe
    I drowned in a previous life.
[08:14] Dobu
    Well, phobias don't always have a reason.
[08:19] Sekiguchi
    I'm sure Yano-san will find a way
    to turn your life into money.
[08:23] Sekiguchi
    A way to use—
[08:27] Dobu
    Here we go.
[08:38] Sekiguchi
    Well, if it isn't Dobu-san.
[08:39] Sekiguchi
    What do you think you're doing?
[08:40] Dobu
    Sorry, Sekiguchi.
[08:42] Dobu
    I'm here to rescue a kidnapping victim.
[08:45] Sekiguchi
    What did Yano-san have to say about this?
[08:48] Dobu
    I haven't talked to Yano.
[08:50] Sekiguchi
    Then please leave.
[08:52] Dobu
    It's cold out here. At least let me inside.
[08:55] Sekiguchi
    Who is he?
[08:56] Dobu
    A taxi driver.
[08:58] Sekiguchi
    You made a man with
    an honest job your underling?
[09:01] Sekiguchi
    You've fallen far, Dobu.
[09:02] Dobu
    And you're out runnin' badger games,
    so I could say the same of you.
[09:07] Dobu
    Hey, taxi driver. I'm gonna
    chuck this guy into the sea.
[09:10] Dobu
    Take Kakihana and get outta
     here in the meantime.
[09:54] Kakihana
    Odokawa...
[09:57] Odokawa
    Sorry to keep you waiting.
[10:05] Kakihana
    What are they doing?
[10:08] Odokawa
    They're idiots.
[10:10] Odokawa
    They're idiots, so they don't know how
    to express their feelings.
[10:13] Odokawa
    They use duty and human nature
    as an excuse for violence.
[10:18] Odokawa
    I guess it's what you'd expect
    from living creatures.
[10:34] Kakihana
    I get to go home?
[10:37] Odokawa
    Yeah, let's go home. You must've been cold.
[10:50] Sekiguchi
    Wait a minute, Dobu-san.
    I let Kakihana escape.
[10:53] Sekiguchi
    If you beat me, then I won't
    be able to face Yano-san.
[10:58] Dobu
    Not my problem.
[10:59] Dobu
    It's your fault that you couldn't beat me.
[11:01] Dobu
    Why don't you take this opportunity to quit
     doing low-tier jobs like badger games?
[11:07] Kakihana
    Odokawa, I don't know what to say.
[11:11] Kakihana
    I'm so pathetic.
[11:24] Dobu
    Damn it! Skull mask...
[11:27] Dobu
    I thought you were an amateur.
[11:29] Dobu
    Huh?
[11:38] Odokawa
    Remember how we went to Hakone
    for off-campus education in high school?
[11:43] Kakihana
    Yeah, we sure did.
[11:44] Odokawa
    You bought a yosegi puzzle box
    as a souvenir, remember?
[11:48] Kakihana
    Yeah, I did.
[11:49] Odokawa
    One with 36 steps.
[11:52] Kakihana
    Is that right? I'm surprised you remember.
[11:55] Odokawa
    You kept it in your bag for a while.
[11:58] Odokawa
    You'd perform all 36 steps and
    open the thing, like a showoff.
[12:00] Kakihana
    I feel like I remember that...
[12:03] Odokawa
    Do you remember what happened to that box?
[12:06] Kakihana
    What happened?
[12:07] Odokawa
    You put your family's stamp inside it
[12:08] Odokawa
    and left it on top of the shoe
    cupboard in your entryway.
[12:12] Odokawa
    When a delivery arrived, your mom tried
    to open it through trial-and-error.
[12:16] Odokawa
    The deliveryman watched her the entire time.
[12:20] Odokawa
    Ultimately, she smashed it open
    and got the stamp out, like an otter.
[12:26] Odokawa
    You got in a lot of trouble later.
[12:28] Kakihana
    Yeah, that's what happened. What about it?
[12:30] Kakihana
    What are you trying to say, here?
[12:32] Odokawa
    You've been pathetic ever since then.
[12:46] Kabasawa
    I did it. I finally did it, everyone.
[12:49] Kabasawa
    I got Dobu. Me!
[12:51] Kabasawa
    Hey, Dobu!
[12:52] Kabasawa
    I'm Kabasawa. Give it up, you punk!
[12:54] Kabasawa
    Apologize, you bastard!
[12:55] Kabasawa
    Apologize to everyone in the world.
[12:58] Kabasawa
    Hey, haters. And you shitheads who did
    nothing but heckle me from safety.
[13:02] Kabasawa
    You all talked a lotta shit about me.
[13:03] Kabasawa
    Well, who's the punk now?
[13:05] Kabasawa
    In the end, I got Dobu all by myself!
[13:07] Kabasawa
    I'm the only charismatic leader you need!
[13:09] Kabasawa
    You're all my slaves!
[13:13] Kabasawa
    Huh?
[13:15] Dobu
    You have a gun?
[13:26] Dobu
    Do you have a gun?
[13:31] Dobu
    All right. Then let's
    hear what you have to say.
[13:34] Dobu
    Or would you rather duke it out?
[13:36] Kabasawa
    I s-surrender!
[13:38] Dobu
    What?
[13:39] Kabasawa
    As you can see, I can't beat you in a fight.
[13:43] Dobu
    Is that the extent of your sense of justice?
[13:46] Dobu
    You vowed to catch me,
    when your resolve was this weak?
[13:52] Dobu
    You never had any sense of justice
    or resolve to begin with.
[13:55] Dobu
    Why don't you try reflecting on
     the principles that drove you to act?
[13:59] Kabasawa
    I wanted attention.
[14:01] Dobu
    You got it. Now, why not dig a little deeper?
[14:05] Dobu
    Why did you want attention?
[14:08] Kabasawa
    I don't know.
[14:10] Dobu
    It's because you wanted approval
    from others, yeah?
[14:12] Dobu
    And why did you want approval from others?
[14:15] Dobu
    Because you have no self-esteem.
[14:17] Dobu
    Because you have no confidence,
    you can't approve of yourself.
[14:21] Dobu
    But despite that, you're more
    narcissistic than anyone.
[14:23] Kabasawa
    No! I'm not a narcissist.
[14:26] Kabasawa
    I hated who I was before I had attention.
[14:28] Kabasawa
    That said, receiving attention didn't
    magically make me like myself.
[14:33] Kabasawa
    But it felt so good, so I kept escalating.
[14:36] Kabasawa
    Now I'm so scared, I don't know what to do.
[14:39] Kabasawa
    I regret it. I've always hated myself.
[14:41] Kabasawa
    I despise who I am.
[14:43] Kabasawa
    I've always wanted to disappear.
    I've always wanted to die.
[14:47] Dobu
    I'm saying your extreme rejection of
     and hatred for yourself is narcissism.
[14:54] Dobu
    Normal people aren't that
     interested in themselves.
[14:57] Kabasawa
    What should I do, then?
[15:00] Dobu
    Find a mentor you trust, not an
    unspecified large number of people.
[15:03] Dobu
    One you can respect.
[15:06] Dobu
    If you've got a baseline to measure
    yourself from, you won't waver.
[15:08] Dobu
    If that's too difficult,
    then approve of yourself.
[15:10] Dobu
    In any case, you need
    to learn to accept yourself.
[15:14] Kabasawa
    I understand!
[15:15] Kabasawa
    I appreciate your words,
    Dobu-san. I hear you.
[15:19] Kabasawa
    From now on, I, Taichi Kabasawa,
    shall return to university,
[15:22] Kabasawa
    resume looking for a job,
    and live my life one day at a time!
[15:27] Kabasawa
    Because of you, my eyes have been opened.
[15:29] Kabasawa
    Thank you!
[15:30] Kabasawa
    Excuse me!
[15:31] Dobu
    Hey, wait. I'm not running
    a self-improvement seminar here.
[15:36] Dobu
    As you know, I don't make an honest living.
[15:39] Dobu
    I need you to compensate me
    for all the harm you've caused me.
[15:44] Kabasawa
    Please don't kill me.
[15:45] Dobu
    And what can you give me, if not your life?
[15:48] Kabasawa
    U-Um, I bought an a-apartment.
    You can have that.
[15:52] Kabasawa
    A-And a car. I drove it here today.
[15:54] Kabasawa
    I have some money left, too.
[15:57] Kabasawa
    Please... Please forgive me.
[16:00] Dobu
    Well, that's the wisest choice.
[16:03] Dobu
    You did make that money off me.
[16:05] Kabasawa
    So... Will you forgive me?
[16:09] Dobu
    Yeah.
[16:09] Kabasawa
    I'm not going to die?
[16:11] Kabasawa
    You're a good person, Dobu-san—
[16:13] Dobu
    One more thing.
SIGN    Goriki Clinic
[16:19] Odokawa
    He's such an idiot.
[16:22] Goriki
    His mind and body are
     in a pretty weakened state.
[16:25] Goriki
    He'll have to stay here for a while.
[16:27] Odokawa
    He doesn't have any money.
[16:29] Goriki
    I'll give him a discount.
[16:31] Goriki
    Hey, Odokawa. What are you doing?
[16:36] Goriki
    Didn't you go with Dobu to save Kakihana?
[16:39] Odokawa
    I'm going to take down Dobu.
[16:41] Odokawa
    I'll use whatever I can, and ultimately,
    I'll take out his whole organization.
[16:46] Goriki
    You're just a taxi driver.
    Why do you need to do that?
[16:49] Goriki
    Don't do anything dangerous.
[16:51] Goriki
    Are you avenging Shirakawa-san?
[16:53] Goriki
    She's a good girl at heart.
[16:56] Goriki
    Dobu got his claws in her
    before she knew any better.
[16:58] Goriki
    He used her. She's a victim.
[17:01] Goriki
    But in some ways, she brought it on herself.
[17:03] Goriki
    She may have been controlled by fear,
[17:06] Goriki
    but it was her weakness that
    made her follow Dobu's instructions.
[17:09] Goriki
    She must've had plenty
    of chances to leave him.
[17:12] Goriki
    Shirakawa-san threw those chances away.
[17:15] Odokawa
    She didn't bring it on herself.
[17:17] Odokawa
    Aren't you a doctor? Have you
    heard of Stockholm Syndrome?
[17:21] Goriki
    It's when kidnapping victims develop
    affection for their kidnappers, right?
[17:27] Odokawa
    Following Dobu's instructions
    was her strategy for survival.
[17:32] Odokawa
    She felt that cornered.
[17:34] Odokawa
    She was controlled by violence and threats.
[17:37] Odokawa
    It was an unfair situation.
[17:38] Goriki
    But that's no reason for you
    to cross this dangerous bridge.
[17:43] Goriki
    Do you love Shirakawa-san that much?
SIGN    Taichi Kabasawa-san has uploaded a video.
SIGN    [Shutting Down] Taichi Kabasawa Defeated [Surrender]
[17:54] Kabasawa
    To everyone watching the
    Kabasawa channel, as of this day,
[17:57] Kabasawa
    I, Taichi Kabasawa, have decided to stop
    uploading videos and holding online salons.
[18:05] Kabasawa
    All Kabasawa accounts will be
    erased in a few days.
[18:10] Kabasawa
    I am not a hero, nor champion of justice.
[18:15] Kabasawa
    I apologize for ultimately
    deceiving all of you.
[18:20] Kabasawa
    Dobu—Dobu-san has nothing to do
    with this, so don't get the wrong idea.
[18:27] Kabasawa
    I simply lost to myself.
[18:29] Kabasawa
    So I ask that the rest of you
    leave Dobu-san alone, also.
[18:34] Kabasawa
    Also, um, I'm not offering refunds
    for the online salon.
[18:41] Kabasawa
    I appreciate your understanding.
[18:46] Odokawa
    He's a tough guy.
[18:48] Odokawa
    Both Sekiguchi and Kabasawa lost to him.
[18:53] Dobu
    Did you post it?
[18:54] Kabasawa
    Yes. It's done.
[19:01] Dobu
    What?
[19:02] Kabasawa
    Nothing. I'm just grateful that
    I made it through this unscathed.
[19:08] Kabasawa
    I'm sorry.
[19:09] Dobu
    Well, I'll be taking your car.
[19:16] Man A
    Hey, you'll fall if you
    don't quit messing around.
[19:18] Kanon
    I'll be fine.
[20:01] Landlord
    Odokawa-kun, are you home?
[20:04] Goriki
    His car's not here. I don't think he's home.
[20:07] Landlord
    Really? Well, that's a problem.
[20:10] Landlord
    Oh, I'm the landlord here.
[20:13] Landlord
    Who are you?
[20:15] Goriki
    I hadn't introduced myself yet.
    I'm Odokawa's friend, Goriki.
[20:21] Goriki
    What's the problem? Did something happen?
[20:24] Landlord
    Oh, all sorts of things lately.
[20:25] Landlord
    First the police showed up,
    then his window was broken.
[20:30] Landlord
    Odokawa-kun said he was going to move
    because he didn't want to cause trouble.
[20:35] Goriki
    How is that a problem?
[20:38] Landlord
    It's a huge problem.
[20:39] Landlord
    I'm Odokawa-kun's guardian,
[20:41] Landlord
    and I've already received enough rent
    for him to live here for life.
[20:45] Goriki
    From the foundation?
[20:47] Landlord
    That's right.
[20:47] Landlord
    But since Odokawa-kun started working,
    he's been paying more than his rent.
[20:52] Landlord
    He told me to return the money
    to the foundation's representative.
[20:55] Goriki
    How long has Odokawa been living here?
[20:59] Landlord
    Since fifth grade.
[21:00] Goriki
    Alone? He's been living off
    the foundation's money?
[21:05] Landlord
    Yes. Sometimes he'd eat at my place,
[21:08] Landlord
    but for the most part, he'd refuse.
[21:10] Landlord
    He said he didn't want to trouble me.
[21:12] Landlord
    I helped him with any necessary business
    at school and the public office.
[21:15] Landlord
    I just felt so bad for him.
[21:17] Goriki
    Could you tell me the name of that
    representative or the foundation itself?
[21:22] Landlord
    I don't know if I can.
[21:24] Landlord
    Their condition is that in exchange
    for not seeking any profit or tax benefits,
[21:28] Landlord
    our identities are kept secret.
[21:31] Goriki
    But you deposit the money you get
    from Odokawa, right?
[21:35] Landlord
    Of course I do.
[21:36] Landlord
    You think I'd steal it? How dreadful.
[21:39] Goriki
    That's not what I meant.
[21:42] Landlord
    If Odokawa-kun is moving,
[21:44] Landlord
    then I intend to return the money
    I've been holding onto.
[21:48] Goriki
    Do you know where Odokawa lived
    before coming here?
[21:52] Landlord
    I think it was Shiroku in Chichibu.
[21:56] Goriki
    Shiroku in Chichibu.
[21:58] Goriki
    Anyway, he lived alone?
[22:00] Goriki
    Was living at an orphanage
    or with family not an option?
[22:04] Landlady
    It's what Odokawa-kun wanted.
[22:07] Goriki
    I guess so. His parents
    might return someday.
[22:12] Landlady
    What are you talking about?
[22:14] Landlady
    Are you really his friend?
[22:16] Goriki
    I heard Odokawa's parents are missing.
[22:20] Landlady
    Odokawa-kun told you that?
[22:22] Goriki
    It's what I was told.
[22:23] Landlady
    Maybe that's what he believes...
[22:25] Goriki
    They're not missing?
[22:28] Landlady
    They're dead. Both of them.
SIGN    Next Time: We Have No Tomorrow
[23:35] Shirakawa
    Capoeira.
[23:36] Odokawa
    Uh, okay?
[23:37] Shirakawa
    You said before that you didn't know
     how people pick up capoeira.
[23:40] Odokawa
    Oh, yeah. Did I?
[23:42] Shirakawa
    Do you want me to hit you
    with a cabeçada into an aú batido?
[23:45] Odokawa
    Sorry, sorry. I don't know what those
    techniques are, but they sound scary.

E10 - We Have No Tomorrow

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    We Have No Tomorrow
[01:02] Manager
    Entry number 2414, Omi Beef.
SIGN    N-1 Grand Prix
[01:08] Manager
    Final group.
[01:10] Manager
    Entry number...
[01:13] Manager
    2425, Bonnou Illumination.
[01:16] Fukumoto
    Yeah!
[01:17] Kondo
    All right.
[01:19] Manager
    That's all. If your name was called...
[01:27] Baba
    Well, I've got something after this.
[01:33] Nagashima
    You didn't make it.
[01:35] Shibagaki
    Hey. Nagashima, right? You came to watch?
[01:38] Nagashima
    Why didn't you do the joke
    about the café hideaway?
[01:41] Shibagaki
    If I were a musician, I wouldn't put
    my hit songs on my "best of" albums.
[01:45] Nagashima
    That's why you haven't succeeded.
[01:46] Nagashima
    Even if it's not what you want,
[01:48] Nagashima
    you have to be someone that has
    "best of" albums with hits.
[01:50] Shibagaki
    We didn't get enough time
    to go over our material, either.
[01:52] Nagashima
    I thought you guys might make it
    since Baba-san's getting popular.
[01:55] Nagashima
    Despite that, Bonnou Illumination
     took that category.
[01:58] Shibagaki
    Not only are you up in my personal space,
[01:59] Shibagaki
    but you're also trying to burn me.
[02:01] Shibagaki
    What are you, a smoking area in Shin-Osaka?
[02:05] Shibagaki
    The population density of smoking
    areas in Shin-Osaka is brutal.
[02:08] Shibagaki
    You gotta watch out for all
    the lit cigarettes everywhere.
[02:10] Shibagaki
    Don't make me explain the joke. It's embarrassing.
[02:11] Nagashima
    You should team up with me.
[02:12] Shibagaki
    What?
[02:13] Nagashima
    You're splitting up this year
    if you don't make it, right?
[02:16] Nagashima
    I promise we'll make it big together.
[02:18] Nagashima
    I can even write jokes.
[02:19] Nagashima
    You used a ton of my letters
    on your radio show, right?
[02:21] Nagashima
    I can draw out your best qualities.
[02:23] Nagashima
    I can show you the view
    from the top, Shibagaki-san.
[02:25] Shibagaki
    If I team up with a high school student now,
[02:28] Shibagaki
    people will say I've finally lost my mind.
[02:30] Nagashima
    What are you going do
    after you split up, then?
[02:32] Nagashima
    Think you can make it alone?
[02:33] Shibagaki
    Jeez, you're obnoxious!
[02:34] Nagashima
    How obnoxious?
[02:35] Shibagaki
    As loud and annoying
    as a convenience store ATM.
[02:38] Shibagaki
    You know, that shrill piercing sound
    they make after you withdraw money...
[02:41] Nagashima
    That's not that funny.
[02:42] Shibagaki
    Because you didn't draw
     out my best qualities.
[02:45] Nagashima
    If you're splitting up, team up with me.
[02:47] Shibagaki
    There's still the losers' bracket.
[02:49] Nagashima
    You're not giving up?
[02:50] Shibagaki
    Of course not.
[02:51] Shibagaki
    Anyway, if you wanna be an entertainer,
[02:53] Shibagaki
    find someone your own age.
[02:54] Shibagaki
    Don't try to ride my flimsy-ass coattails.
[02:58] Nagashima
    When I saw you perform your jokes today,
[03:00] Nagashima
    I felt like Baba-san has lost his
    motivation for manzai comedy.
[03:02] Nagashima
    So you should try again with me.
[03:10] Yano
    Got interesting news from our
     unlicensed doc, y'know the guy?
[03:14] Yano
    I hear Dobu-san showed up
     in a fancy new ride.
[03:16] Yano
    Shot in the femoral region,
    right in the thigh.
[03:18] Yano
    Seems like the culprit's
    the one who stole his gun.
[03:20] Yano
    If the boss finds out, Dobu better run.
[03:22] Yano
    Either way, his points are
     goin' down one-by-one.
[03:24] Yano
    After this, all his business will be mine.
[03:26] Yano
    We used to be brothers in arms,
     fates entwined.
[03:28] Yano
    Two flowers blossoming
    for the boss, both aligned.
[03:30] Yano
    He taught me to use people
     and money, rinse and repeat.
[03:32] Yano
    Showed compassion to a country
    kid raised on the streets.
[03:35] Yano
    But I gotta say, this development
     is pretty sweet.
[03:37] Yano
    A decade my senior, he had
     my respect, my affection.
[03:38] Yano
    But now he's gone soft,
    a sugar-coated confection.
[03:41] Yano
    What is Dobu-san worth now? Upon inspection...
[03:43] Yano
    He lacks punch, like these candy
    drops, to make a connection.
[03:45] Yano
    I'm looking for peppermint,
    but all I find is sweet.
[03:49] Yano
    I'm ready for a big explosion
    to knock me off my feet.
[03:51] Yano
    I'm bored. Light me on fire,
    put me in the hot seat.
[03:53] Yano
    Sekiguchi, your lack of experience
     led to defeat. You were sloppy.
[03:56] Yano
    So, deliver this declaration of war for me.
[03:58] Yano
    It'll be a scramble for that
    one billion yen spot.
[04:00] Yano
    Meanwhile, the loser will get
    to watch his criminal career drop.
[04:06] Sekiguchi
    Understood. I'll pass on the message.
[04:08] Sekiguchi
    Yano-san, did you take a look
    at that Nikaido fan account?
SIGN    Imai@Nikaido fan account
[04:14] Imai
    "The photo of the jackpot-winning ticket
    I posted before was actually edited.
[04:16] Imai
    I lied to get a response from Rui-chan.
[04:22] Imai
    I'm such an idiot.
[04:24] Imai
    I'll continue running this
    as a Rui Nikaido fan account.
[04:27] Imai
    Sorry for all the trouble I caused."
[04:29] Yano
    Okay, no problem. The one billion
    yen is definitely with Imai.
[04:32] Yano
    I've seen these digital black
    and white shadows online.
[04:35] Yano
    It's a very famous amateur mistake,
    does he think he's sly?
[04:37] Yano
    Look into his past, dig up what you can.
[04:40] Yano
    And figure out where we can find the man.
[04:42] Sekiguchi
    Understood. I'll get everyone on it.
[04:47] Yamamoto
    Sorry for calling you so often, Odokawa-san.
[04:51] Yamamoto
    The guy offering to pay 900 million
    for your dash cam data is a yakuza.
[04:56] Yamamoto
    Accepting money from him would
    mean problems for you later.
[04:59] Yamamoto
    Why don't you let us handle it?
[05:01] Yamamoto
    We're prepared to compensate
    you appropriately,
[05:03] Yamamoto
    and we can guarantee
    your safety, Odokawa-san.
[05:06] Yamamoto
    I'm telling you this for your sake.
[05:08] Yamamoto
    Things are going great for
    Mystery Kiss right now.
[05:12] Yamamoto
    I came prepared today.
[05:14] Yamamoto
    I'm willing to use force if necessary.
[05:17] Odokawa
    You're starting to show your true colors.
[05:19] Yamamoto
    Just kidding. I obviously wouldn't do that.
[05:22] Yamamoto
    I came to talk.
[05:24] Odokawa
    Is Mystery Kiss that important to you?
[05:26] Yamamoto
    Of course they are. Don't you know?
[05:28] Yamamoto
    This isn't about money
    anymore. It's our dream.
[05:31] Odokawa
    I see.
[05:32] Odokawa
    That's too bad. I was rooting for you.
[05:36] Yamamoto
    What's too bad?
[05:38] Odokawa
    That Ichimura had to run badger games.
[05:42] Yamamoto
    Odokawa-san?
[05:44] Odokawa
    Kakihana is my friend.
[05:47] Odokawa
    Of course, he's a hopeless
    idiot. It was his fault.
[05:51] Odokawa
    But he paid for his mistake already.
[05:54] Odokawa
    How about you, then?
    Have you gotten what you deserve yet?
[06:01] Yamamoto
    I understand, Odokawa-san.
[06:03] Yamamoto
    Allow me to explain.
[06:06] Odokawa
    Oh? Explain what?
[06:08] Yamamoto
    Our side of the story.
[06:10] Yamamoto
    Naturally, we'll apologize
    to Kakihana-san as well.
[06:14] Yamamoto
    Oh, could you turn left here?
[06:17] Yamamoto
    Odokawa-san, how do you want to handle this?
[06:19] Odokawa
    I'm not interested in exposing you
    to the public or anything.
[06:23] Yamamoto
    I appreciate that. Next right.
[06:30] Odokawa
    I won't tell anyone about your evil doings.
[06:34] Odokawa
    Once this is all over, I'll even
    give you my dash cam data.
[06:37] Yamamoto
    In other words?
[06:39] Odokawa
    Why don't you side with me?
[06:41] Odokawa
    Betray whoever you're working for.
[06:50] Yamamoto
    Park the car here.
[06:59] Yamamoto
    What do you mean, betray?
[07:01] Odokawa
    You're after the one billion yen.
[07:04] Odokawa
    I'm protecting it.
[07:06] Odokawa
    On top of that, I'm going to take down
[07:09] Odokawa
    both whoever's behind you
    and the guy behind me.
[07:16] Yamamoto
    I see.
[07:18] Yamamoto
    I've considered the situation
    as calmly as I can.
[07:21] Yamamoto
    What we have to gain, what we have to lose...
[07:24] Yamamoto
    The power balance between us.
[07:27] Yamamoto
    No matter how I look at it,
    I don't see how...
[07:31] Yamamoto
    a single taxi driver can beat us.
[07:38] Yamamoto
    This isn't a game!
[07:42] Yamamoto
    I'll kill you and take everything!
[07:57] Shirakawa
    Come on out!
[08:00] Yamamoto
    What the hell?
[08:09] Yamamoto
    You can't be serious.
[08:24] Shirakawa
    Next, you'll get a martelo to the face.
[08:32] Odokawa
    Capoeira's actually pretty strong.
[08:34] Shirakawa
    That's right. You thought it was
    a type of dance, didn't you?
[08:37] Odokawa
    Why'd you even start doing
    it in the first place?
[08:40] Odokawa
    It's in my top three things that I don't
    understand how people get into.
[08:43] Shirakawa
    What are the other two?
[08:44] Odokawa
    Hammer throw and stimulants.
[08:45] Shirakawa
    You need to apologize to everyone
    and everything, starting with Brazil.
[08:49] Yamamoto
    Excuse me...
[08:51] Yamamoto
    Do you think you could forgive me?
[08:54] Yamamoto
    Both for this, and everything until now.
[08:58] Odokawa
    That's what I've seen saying from the start.
[09:00] Odokawa
    I even told you my condition.
[09:02] Yamamoto
    To betray Yano?
[09:04] Odokawa
    That's right.
[09:06] Yamamoto
    And if I do, Mystery Kiss will be protected?
[09:10] Odokawa
    If things go well.
[09:11] Odokawa
    I'm sure she doesn't want
    to run badger games.
[09:14] Yamamoto
    What exactly should I do?
[09:16] Odokawa
    Allow yourselves to be caught by the police
    while you're stealing the one billion yen.
[09:20] Odokawa
    That's it. It's easy.
[09:23] Yamamoto
    Won't I be arrested then, too?
[09:26] Odokawa
    Maybe. Tell them you were threatened.
[09:29] Odokawa
    I mean, aren't you actually
    being threatened?
[09:31] Yamamoto
    It's kind of a problem for me if they
    ask why I was being threatened.
[09:34] Odokawa
    They've got dirt on you?
[09:36] Odokawa
    Whatever.
[09:38] Odokawa
    If you won't help me, I'm turning
    you in to the police now.
[09:41] Odokawa
    For robbing a taxi, running badger games,
    abduction, and confinement...
[09:45] Yamamoto
    Fine.
[09:47] Yamamoto
    It's the only way to protect Mystery Kiss.
[09:55] Odokawa
    I'll be in touch.
[09:57] Yamamoto
    Got it. I'll contact you
    once our plans are made.
[10:08] Shirakawa
    Dr. Goriki told me what you're doing.
[10:10] Shirakawa
    You shouldn't do anything dangerous.
[10:12] Odokawa
    I'm already involved.
    I don't have a choice now.
[10:15] Shirakawa
    Are you working with Dobu-san?
[10:18] Odokawa
    Yes.
[10:20] Odokawa
    Lately I've been thinking that Dobu
    might not be such a bad guy, after all.
[10:25] Shirakawa
    Yeah. He operates based
    on his brand of justice.
[10:30] Odokawa
    But then I thought this must be
    some kind of brainwashing.
[10:35] Odokawa
    You still haven't been freed from yours.
[10:39] Shirakawa
    It's true that he's done
    a lot of bad things,
[10:42] Shirakawa
    but his dedication to his boss never wavers.
[10:44] Shirakawa
    Dobu-san's been brainwashed, too.
[10:47] Odokawa
    Nope, I decided. I just decided.
[10:49] Odokawa
    I'm going to punish him after all.
[10:50] Shirakawa
    Where did that come from?
[10:51] Odokawa
    It's your fault for defending Dobu.
[10:53] Shirakawa
    I wasn't defending him!
[10:54] Shirakawa
    But in the real world, good isn't always
    rewarded, and evil isn't always punished—
[10:56] Odokawa
    Shut up. I told you to stay away from me.
[10:58] Shirakawa
    If I didn't get involved, you'd
    be dead by now, Odokawa!
[11:01] Odokawa
    It's none of your business.
[11:03] Odokawa
    And why'd you call me Odokawa?
[11:04] Shirakawa
    I forgot to call you "Odokawa-san"
    because there's too much I want to say!
[11:07] Odokawa
    It's not like we're texting.
    How is that possible?
[11:09] Shirakawa
    That aside, what do you mean,
    it's none of my business?!
[11:11] Shirakawa
    I saved your life!
[11:13] Odokawa
    You didn't have to break my window.
[11:15] Odokawa
    This is the second time in a short period.
[11:22] Shirakawa
    What is it?
[11:23] Odokawa
    For unrelated reasons, a guy armed
    with a gun is trying to kill me right now.
[11:27] Shirakawa
    When did your life suddenly
    become so hard-boiled?
[11:32] Odokawa
    Anyway, he's able to determine my
    location to an unnatural degree.
[11:37] Shirakawa
    You mean he planted a GPS on you?
[11:39] Odokawa
    That's right.
[11:40] Odokawa
    After my car window was broken,
    someone fired a shot into my house.
[11:45] Odokawa
    It's an unnaturally plain way
    to harass someone, don't you think?
[11:48] Odokawa
    The culprit probably suddenly
    found me around the city
[11:51] Odokawa
    and hid a phone in my car
    as a temporary measure.
[11:54] Odokawa
    But a phone would run
    out of battery eventually.
[11:57] Odokawa
    So they found my home, broke
    my car window, retrieved their phone,
[12:01] Odokawa
    and then replaced it
    with a battery-less GPS.
[12:06] Odokawa
    See?
[12:08] Shirakawa
    They're still trying to kill you, though.
[12:12] Odokawa
    I'm going to find a way
    to use this against them.
SIGN    Equator Sauna
SIGN    Eiji Kakihana
SIGN    Heading to the sauna. Wanna come?
SIGN    Wish I could, but I'm working tonight.
SIGN    Good for you, working two jobs. We can go once you've paid off your debt.
SIGN    That'll be years from now!
[12:35] Kuroda
    Was it cold outside?
[12:39] Odokawa
    It's pretty cold.
[12:40] Kuroda
    Well, it is already December.
[12:43] Kuroda
    Sudden changes in body temperature
    can be really dangerous. Be careful.
[12:47] Kuroda
    It's called heat shock.
[12:50] Kuroda
    Anyway, it's strange.
[12:53] Odokawa
    What is?
[12:54] Kuroda
    This place is always empty, isn't it?
[12:56] Odokawa
    Because you're here.
[12:57] Odokawa
    Tough guy with his tattoos out
    for everyone to see.
[13:00] Kuroda
    That was eye-opening.
    Impressive as always, Odokawa.
[13:03] Odokawa
    Wait. How do you know my name?
[13:06] Kuroda
    Because people thought you
    were the kidnapper
[13:08] Kuroda
    in the missing Nerima high school girl case.
[13:10] Odokawa
    Is he a cop? No, there's no way.
[13:15] Kuroda
    I'm sorry I suspected you, taxi driver.
[13:18] Odokawa
    I would never do that.
[13:20] Kuroda
    I still think there's a 5% chance
    you did it, though.
[13:26] Kuroda
    Odokawa, do you not want money?
[13:29] Odokawa
    Thankfully, I don't have money problems.
[13:32] Odokawa
    Actually, I do have one problem.
[13:34] Odokawa
    I don't want more than befits my stature.
[13:37] Odokawa
    All I want is to be able to repay the people
[13:39] Odokawa
    who helped me, little by little,
    to the best of my own ability.
[13:44] Kuroda
    I see. I'm glad to hear that.
[13:59] Sekiguchi
    Yano-san, we've found Imai.
SIGN    Imai@Nikaido fan account
SIGN    I've got nothing to do, so I've been watching Mystery Kiss' concerts.
[14:04] Sekiguchi
    He tweeted this on November
    15th after moving.
[14:08] Sekiguchi
    If you raise the volume,
    you can faintly hear
[14:10] Sekiguchi
    the departure melody
    of a train in the background.
[14:12] Sekiguchi
    In Tokyo, the stations that use this melody
[14:14] Sekiguchi
    are Komagome Station and Musashi-Koganei
    Station on the Yamanote Line.
[14:18] Sekiguchi
    He also responded to a tweet from
    someone who seems to be his friend.
SIGN    Taro Matsu
    @matsutaro_123 2 days ago
    Seriously? This Christmas Mystery Kiss
    concert is first come, first served?
    
     Imai@Nikaido fan account
    Replying to @matsutaro_123
     It takes 50 minutes to get there
    from my place so I'm leaving at noon lol
[14:22] Sekiguchi
    Mystery Kiss is performing a concert
    at the civic center on Christmas.
[14:26] Sekiguchi
    Since it takes him 50 minutes to get there,
    he must be at Musashi-Koganei Station.
[14:30] Sekiguchi
    Returning to the tweet
    he made the day he moved,
[14:33] Sekiguchi
    we looked for rental properties
    with similar wallpaper
SIGN    Finished moving. Unpacking is gonna suck. But I put up my Rui-tan poster first thing.
[14:35] Sekiguchi
    within hearing distance of the
    Musashi-Koganei Station departure melody.
[14:39] Sekiguchi
    This "Rinky-Dink Koganei" apartment
    building fits the criteria.
SIGN    Rinky-Dink Koganei #201
[14:43] Sekiguchi
    Based on the scenery visible from his window
    and the positions of the utility poles,
[14:46] Sekiguchi
    he's at Rinky-Dink Koganei, room 201.
[14:50] Yano
    While I expanded my vocabulary,
    you cyberstalked him excellently.
[14:56] Yano
    I knew you'd get it done, but I gotta admit,
[14:59] Yano
    it gives me chills, creeps me out a bit.
[15:01] Yano
    Just kidding, well done.
    Seriously, great stuff.
[15:04] Yano
    Now let's go grab this guy by the scruff.
[15:06] Yano
    Bad blood's brewing, but it's too
    soon to cause an uproar.
[15:10] Yano
    Dobu-san underestimates me
    'cause he thinks I'm an herbivore.
[15:15] Yano
    I'll peel back his disguise
    and stab him with all my spines.
[15:18] Yano
    Seize the big money and
    laugh out loud like a porcupine.
[15:25] Dobu
    You're sure Yano and his guys found Imai?
[15:29] Odokawa
    Yeah. Yamamoto the manager contacted me.
[15:32] Dobu
    They'll act as soon as tomorrow, then.
[15:35] Dobu
    They'll take Imai to the bank
    and keep him locked up
[15:40] Dobu
    until the bank gets one
    billion in cash ready.
[15:42] Odokawa
    The bank's supposed to
    contact you if Imai arrives, right?
[15:45] Dobu
    Yeah. They'll tell me the time and date
    that the cash will be handed over.
[15:49] Dobu
    You ready? I'm about
    to tell you my entire plan.
[15:53] Dobu
    Make sure you drum it
    into your head, Odokawa.
[15:55] Odokawa
    Got it.
[15:55] Dobu
    The one billion yen will be split
    into ten duraluminum cases,
[15:59] Dobu
    but the bank will hand
    over just one of those.
[16:02] Dobu
    They'll also hand over nine duraluminum
    cases filled with fake bills.
SIGN    Real
SIGN    Fake
[16:06] Dobu
    Yano's crew will probably be
    with Imai during the handoff,
[16:09] Dobu
    and they'll want to confirm that it's real.
[16:12] Dobu
    That's why they're giving them
    one case of real bills.
[16:15] Dobu
    Yano will want to get out of there as soon
    as possible, so he won't check all ten.
[16:19] Odokawa
    Once Yano's crew pack 100 million real yen
[16:21] Odokawa
    and 900 million counterfeit yen
    into their car and leave...
[16:24] Dobu
    As soon as they leave,
    I'll acquire 900 million.
[16:28] Odokawa
    At that point, you've won.
[16:30] Dobu
    It doesn't end there, though.
[16:32] Dobu
    They've issued a declaration of war.
[16:35] Dobu
    I'm going to steal the 100 million they took.
[16:38] Odokawa
    How?
[16:39] Dobu
    The bank is here.
[16:40] Dobu
    Wait in your taxi at this nearby parking lot.
[16:45] Odokawa
    I see.
[16:46] Dobu
    I'll come to the parking lot
    with 900 million yen in my car.
[16:49] Dobu
    You'll move your taxi,
    and I'll park in your spot.
[16:52] Dobu
    Then I'll get into your taxi.
[16:55] Odokawa
    Where do we head next?
[16:56] Dobu
    They'll probably head to
     their hideout at the wharf.
[16:58] Dobu
    Along the way, Big Daimon's patrol car
    will probably stop them around here.
[17:04] Odokawa
    You're using every service vehicle you can.
[17:06] Dobu
    When Big Daimon searches their car,
    he'll find a ton of counterfeit bills.
[17:11] Dobu
    After dropping me off nearby,
    you'll wait here.
[17:16] Dobu
    While Yano and the police are making a fuss,
[17:19] Dobu
    I'll arrive on the scene
    and steal Yano's car.
[17:21] Dobu
    After confirming I have the 100 million,
    I'll get back into your taxi.
[17:25] Dobu
    We'll head back to the parking lot where
    the car with 900 million is waiting.
[17:28] Dobu
    Even if we screw up, you'll just be
    a taxi driver transporting his passenger.
[17:32] Dobu
    You won't be arrested.
[17:34] Dobu
    And that's my plan.
[17:35] Dobu
    I call it... ODDTAXI.
[17:42] Odokawa
    What? You're acting like
    that's supposed to sound cool.
[17:45] Dobu
    ODDTAXI...
[17:47] Odokawa
    What does it mean?
[17:48] Dobu
    "Odd" refers to one of a pair.
[17:51] Dobu
    Without you or me, this plan doesn't work.
[17:54] Dobu
    After acquiring the one billion
[17:56] Dobu
    and paying the two bank employees
    who helped us 100 million each,
[17:59] Dobu
    we'll split the rest. Sound good?
[18:02] Odokawa
    I don't need any. I already
    gave you all my conditions.
[18:05] Dobu
    You really don't want any?
[18:07] Dobu
    Your risk of being arrested isn't zero.
[18:09] Odokawa
    Just do something about Skull Mask.
[18:13] Odokawa
    Then my relationship with you will be over.
[18:16] Dobu
    Skull Mask's target might be me now.
[18:19] Dobu
    He actually shot me.
[18:21] Odokawa
    That would be ideal.
    I want to return to my normal life.
[18:26] Dobu
    Once this operation is over,
    we'll go our separate ways.
[18:29] Dobu
    Now that it's nearly over,
    tell me the truth.
[18:32] Dobu
    Who is this girl?
[18:35] Odokawa
    What's this photo?
[18:36] Dobu
    A screenshot from your dash cam data.
[18:39] Odokawa
    That's the missing Nerima high school girl?
[18:42] Odokawa
    Your boss' classmate's daughter?
[18:43] Dobu
    No, but she's the only one from your dash
    cam data that matches her description.
[18:49] Dobu
    Try to remember.
[18:51] Dobu
    You drove her two months ago.
[18:55] Odokawa
    I see. I've driven her before, huh?
[18:59] Odokawa
    She's the Mystery Kiss girl.
[19:12] Yamamoto
    Yano will go after Imai tomorrow.
[19:15] Yamamoto
    After that, they'll go to the bank
    to begin the process,
[19:17] Yamamoto
    and then confine him at their wharf hideout.
[19:19] Yamamoto
    Yano, Sekiguchi, and I will
    bring Imai to the bank
SIGN    Fuyuki Yamamoto
[19:22] Yamamoto
    at a time and date determined
    by them and leave with the cash.
[19:25] Odokawa
    It's just like Dobu predicted.
[19:27] Yamamoto
    Huh?
[19:28] Odokawa
    Nothing.
[19:29] Yamamoto
    What should I do?
[19:32] Odokawa
    When they hand over the money,
[19:34] Odokawa
    they'll probably check the contents
    of just one of the duraluminum cases.
[19:38] Odokawa
    As soon as they're finished,
    I want you to tell the bank employees,
[19:43] Odokawa
    "Let us check another one."
[19:46] Yamamoto
    Will they be giving us counterfeit bills?
[19:49] Odokawa
    Yes. It should make Yano's crew freak out.
[19:52] Odokawa
    Play along with them.
[19:54] Odokawa
    The police will handle the rest.
[19:57] Odokawa
    Tell the police that they threatened you.
[19:59] Yamamoto
    Will it work?
[20:01] Odokawa
    As long as you can call the police,
    they'll arrest Yano for blackmail.
[20:04] Odokawa
    Since you're participating in a crime,
    I doubt you'll get off scot-free,
[20:09] Odokawa
    but at the very least, you'll have
    protected Mystery Kiss.
[20:12] Yamamoto
    As long as I can protect
    Mystery Kiss, I'll do my best.
SIGN    Little Daimon
SIGN    Rinky-Dink Koganei
[20:35] Imai
    Odokawa-sama.
[20:37] Imai
    Thank you for everything, Odokawa-sama.
[20:42] Odokawa
    I'll be brief. The yakuza
    are coming here tomorrow.
[20:46] Imai
    That's terrifying.
[20:48] Odokawa
    I'm sure it is, but you can't
    run. Do your best.
[20:52] Imai
    What's going to happen to me?
[20:54] Odokawa
    They'll threaten you
    and take you to the bank.
[20:56] Odokawa
    Do as they tell you.
[20:58] Odokawa
    For about one week after that,
[21:00] Odokawa
    you'll be imprisoned at their hideout
    until the cash is ready.
[21:04] Imai
    But the Mystery Kiss CD release date
    and concert are in just over a week.
[21:10] Odokawa
    Try to be patient.
[21:12] Odokawa
    After imprisoning you, they'll take you
    to the bank to receive the cash.
[21:16] Odokawa
    I know it'll be hard,
[21:18] Odokawa
    but until then, I need you to do
    what Yano's crew tell you to do.
[21:21] Odokawa
    If you can make it that far,
    they'll be arrested by the police.
[21:24] Odokawa
    If you can be patient for one week,
    both you and Mystery Kiss will be free.
[21:29] Odokawa
    I promise I'll save you.
[21:31] Imai
    Understood, Odokawa-sama.
[21:33] Imai
    I'll do my best for Mystery Kiss, too.
[21:36] Imai
    And besides, I only got
    this money because of you.
[21:40] Imai
    It's not something I had before all this.
[21:42] Imai
    Even if I lose it, my life will
    just go back to how it was before.
[21:46] Imai
    I'll keep on supporting Mystery Kiss,
    just like I always have.
SIGN    17th Principal - Tadashi Oda 16th Principal - Kazuta Fujimoto 15th Principal - Hideo Takemoto 14th Principal - Joji Taga
[21:51] Teacher
    You're Odokawa-kun's doctor?
[21:53] Goriki
    Yes. There's a lack of
    information about his accident.
[21:58] Goriki
    I'm asking around about it.
[22:00] Teacher
    Is he seriously ill?
[22:06] Teacher
    His accident was...
[22:10] Newscaster
    The body found in the Tokyo Bay
    in October has been identified.
[22:16] Newscaster
    The deceased is Nerima City resident
    Yuki Mitsuya-san, 18 years old.
SIGN    Nerima City, Tokyo
     Yuki Mitsuya-san (18)
SIGN    Breaking News
SIGN    Shibaura Wharf Abandoned Body Case
     Body Identified as Belonging
    to Member of Popular Idol Group
[22:22] Newscaster
    Yuki Mitsuya-san was a member
    of idol group Mystery Kiss.
[22:28] Newscaster
    Fans have been shocked by
    the sudden news of her death.
[22:32] Odokawa
    It's not her...
SIGN    Next Time: If We Could Go Back to That Day
[23:35] Nagashima
    "Since I was a child, I've hated
    losing more than others."
[23:37] Odokawa
    Hey, don't read that.
[23:39] Odokawa
    In fact, who the hell are you?
[23:40] Nagashima
    I'm thinking about entering
    a training school next year.
[23:42] Nagashima
    I'll turn the comedy industry on its head.
[23:44] Odokawa
    "I didn't ask for this kind of Santa Claus."
    What kind of Santa Claus?
[23:47] Nagashima
    Give me two hours.
[23:48] Odokawa
    Forget it!

E11 - If We Could Go Back to That Day

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:00] Nikaido
    Since I was a child, I've hated
    losing more than other people do.
SIGN    If We Could Go Back to That Day
[01:04] Nikaido
    My report card described me as "an ambitious
     child overflowing with vitality."
[01:09] Nikaido
    However, we can't avoid losing in life.
[01:12] Nikaido
    Academics, athletics, and arts.
[01:14] Nikaido
    There are limits to all of our abilities,
[01:17] Nikaido
    and there was always someone better than me.
[01:20] Nikaido
    Except in looks.
[01:23] Nikaido
    At 16 years old, I auditioned
    to become an idol.
[01:27] Nikaido
    It was the only time my talent
    would be utilized.
[01:31] Nikaido
    She called herself Yuki Mitsuya.
[01:33] (Flashback) Mitsuya
    I'm sure you'll pass.
    After all, you're exceptionally cute.
[01:36] Nikaido
    She'd been practicing classical ballet
    and gymnastics since she was a child.
[01:39] Nikaido
    She was apparently on a track
    team at the same time.
[01:43] Nikaido
    Her father was prominent
    in a traditional performing art.
[01:45] Nikaido
    That exposure to good taste meant
[01:47] Nikaido
    she had a discerning eye.
[01:50] Nikaido
    She was nothing like me.
[01:51] Nikaido
    She was accustomed to
    being in front of an audience.
[01:54] Nikaido
    She was experienced.
[01:56] Nikaido
    She was my age, and she had worked hard.
[01:57] Nikaido
    She knew defeat. She didn't fear defeat.
[02:03] Nikaido
    I heard that I had passed.
[02:05] Yamamoto
    I'm your manager, Yamamoto.
[02:05] Nikaido
    That well-built man was my manager.
    His name was Yamamoto.
[02:07] Yamamoto
    I believe pushing you girls
    to the top is my mission.
[02:09] Nikaido
    Including me, three of us passed.
[02:11] Yamamoto
    We'll do our best together.
[02:12] Nikaido
    As expected, Yuki Mitsuya passed,
    as well as Shiho Ichimura.
[02:16] Nikaido
    Yamamoto announced that I'd be the center.
[02:20] Nikaido
    Day after day, we attended lessons
    while also attending school.
[02:25] Nikaido
    For the first time in my life,
    I had to work hard.
[02:27] Nikaido
    On top of that, Yuki Mitsuya
    remained on her track team.
[02:31] Nikaido
    It made me angry.
[02:34] Nikaido
    A year and a half later,
    we had our first concert.
[02:37] Nikaido
    I was already 18 by then. I was impatient.
[02:41] Nikaido
    I participated in several events for work.
[02:44] Nikaido
    Comedy duos I'd never seen
    or heard of poked fun at me.
[02:48] Nikaido
    It was humiliating.
[02:49] Nikaido
    I thought they must be losers
    accustomed to defeat.
[02:52] Nikaido
    On the way home from an event,
    I ran into Baba on the train.
[02:57] Nikaido
    I became increasingly annoyed
    with this unsuccessful comedian.
[03:01] Nikaido
    I thought I'd never see him
    again, so I said to him...
[03:04] (Flashback) Nikaido
    Doesn't it frustrate you?
[03:06] (Flashback) Nikaido
    You're working tawdry events
    with unknown idols.
[03:09] (Flashback) Nikaido
    How does it feel to see
    your contemporaries and juniors
[03:12] (Flashback) Nikaido
    achieve success before you?
[03:13] (Flashback) Baba
    What a surprise. My partner
    says the same thing.
[03:16] (Flashback) Nikaido
    Doesn't everyone think that?
[03:19] (Flashback) Baba
    At first it frustrated me,
    but I've given up.
[03:23] (Flashback) Baba
    My life is way easier now.
[03:25] (Flashback) Baba
    I'm happy for my contemporaries'
    and juniors' success.
[03:28] Nikaido
    I thought that mentality must
    mean a person was finished,
[03:32] Nikaido
    but I also thought it would be easier
    if I could be that way, too.
[03:40] Nikaido
    For whatever reason, we exchanged
    contact information.
[03:44] Nikaido
    That's when it was decided that
    we'd make our major debut.
[03:47] (Flashback) Mitsuya
    Finally. Our major debut.
[03:49] (Flashback) Ichimura
    Yeah. It's like a dream.
[03:52] (Flashback) Nikaido
    Why did the two of you want to become idols?
[03:56] (Flashback) Ichimura
    My family's poor.
[03:57] (Flashback) Ichimura
    I don't have my own room, so the bath
    is the only place I have my own space.
[04:01] (Flashback) Ichimura
    I wanna get rich so I can move
    into a place with a big bath.
[04:05] (Flashback) Nikaido
    I see. You'd better work hard, then.
[04:08] (Flashback) Ichimura
    Yeah.
[04:09] (Flashback) Ichimura
    How about you, Mitsuya-san?
[04:11] (Flashback) Mitsuya
    Honestly, I just joined
    to make some memories.
[04:16] (Flashback) Mitsuya
    But I thought we might be able to
    achieve something amazing
[04:21] (Flashback) Mitsuya
    once I met you, Nikaido-san.
[04:23] (Flashback) Ichimura
    I agree. We're lucky to be in the
    same group as you, Nikaido-san.
[04:27] (Flashback) Mitsuya
    We'll have to work hard to make
    sure we don't hold you back.
[04:33] Nikaido
    The three of us would rise together.
[04:34] Nikaido
    We'd win together.
[04:36] Nikaido
    I thought it sounded all right.
[04:39] Nikaido
    We had a recording session coming up.
[04:41] Nikaido
    Morale was high.
[04:43] Nikaido
    That's when a producer who had come
    to watch our lesson said it.
[04:47] (Flashback) Producer
    Let's make this girl the center.
[04:53] (Flashback) Yamamoto
    Excuse me.
[04:59] Nikaido
    On October 4th, I asked
    Yuki Mitsuya to meet me.
[05:03] Nikaido
    Come to the agency office.
    I have something important to tell you.
[05:07] Mitsuya
    What? But the trains aren't running.
[05:10] Nikaido
    Take a taxi. I'll pay for it.
[05:14] Mitsuya
    I'm in Nerima. It'll be expensive.
[05:16] Nikaido
    I was about to make a lame request.
[05:19] Nikaido
    I didn't want anyone to see us.
[05:21] Nikaido
    I can try to make excuses for myself,
[05:23] Nikaido
    but I think my desire to kill her
    was already growing by this point.
[05:30] (Flashback) Nikaido
    Mitsuya-san, are you here?
[05:35] (Flashback) Nikaido
    Mitsuya-san?
[05:45] Nikaido
    Yuki Mitsuya was already dead.
[05:50] (Flashback) Yamamoto
    What are you doing?
[05:53] (Flashback) Yamamoto
    Hey, Nikaido.
[05:58] (Flashback) Yamamoto
    Did you kill her?
[06:02] Nikaido
    I told him everything.
[06:04] Nikaido
    That I was going to ask her to
    step down from being the center.
[06:06] Nikaido
    That I planned to kill her
    if she didn't agree to do it.
[06:09] Nikaido
    I showed him the messages we'd exchanged.
[06:11] Nikaido
    I told him the truth
    about the events of that day.
[06:14] (Flashback) Yamamoto
    Who killed her, then?
[06:18] Nikaido
    I felt the same way.
[06:20] Nikaido
    Apparently Yamamoto believed me.
[06:23] (Flashback) Yamamoto
    We don't have a choice.
[06:26] Nikaido
    After about an hour, Yamamoto
    headed downstairs and let two men in.
[06:31] Nikaido
    A huge thuggish guy and a man
    who spoke in a strange rhythm.
[06:36] Nikaido
    Apparently they knew the agency president.
[06:38] (Flashback) Yano
    Talk about gross, man,
     I don't like this at all.
[06:41] (Flashback) Yano
    I might've grown up on the streets,
    but corpses make my skin crawl.
[06:44] (Flashback) Yano
    Looks like she was bludgeoned,
    then seems like she was choked.
[06:47] (Flashback) Yano
    As a man who wears tailor-made
    suits from Don Quijote,
[06:50] (Flashback) Yano
    that's how I think she croaked.
[06:53] Nikaido
    There isn't much pedestrian
    traffic in that area.
[06:55] Nikaido
    But since it was the middle of the night,
    if anyone saw us, we'd stand out.
[06:59] Nikaido
    I exercised extreme caution.
[07:02] Nikaido
    There weren't even any
    security cameras around.
[07:05] Nikaido
    I'd confirmed that multiple times
    before asking Yuki Mitsuya to meet me.
[07:12] Nikaido
    It was a nightmarish sight.
[07:15] Nikaido
    After this, Yamamoto would have to return
    to the office and clean things up there.
[07:20] Nikaido
    In order to prevent her
    from being found by GPS,
[07:22] Nikaido
    he'd have to take Yuki Mitsuya's phone
    someplace far away and dispose of it.
[07:27] Nikaido
    It was a lot of work.
[07:28] Nikaido
    The rapper explained to us
    what would happen next.
[07:31] Nikaido
    As usual, I couldn't understand
    what he was saying,
[07:34] Nikaido
    but essentially, he wanted to know
    what Yuki Mitsuya did that day.
[07:40] Nikaido
    If she'd told anybody where she was going
    or had been seen by any security cameras,
[07:43] Nikaido
    then we'd have to deal with that.
[07:45] Nikaido
    We'd analyzed her phone, but it would
    be faster to utilize the police.
[07:50] Nikaido
    We'd have her family submit
    a missing persons report,
[07:53] Nikaido
    and find a way to make them withdraw
    it after gathering information.
[07:58] Nikaido
    Apparently the cost of disposing of the body
[08:00] Nikaido
    was half of Mystery Kiss' future profits
[08:04] Nikaido
    and to allow them to use our members
    however they pleased for work.
[08:06] Nikaido
    That was the agreement we reached.
[08:14] Nikaido
    Even after she sank,
    I kept staring at the water.
[08:19] Nikaido
    The sky was beginning to lighten.
[08:23] Nikaido
    Would we be all right? Would it go well?
[08:27] Nikaido
    We were too exhausted to worry.
[08:31] Nikaido
    Several days later,
    Yamamoto introduced us to a girl.
[08:36] (Flashback) Wadagaki
    I'm from Kyushu.
[08:37] (Flashback) Wadagaki
    My name is Sakura Wadagaki.
    Nice to meet you.
[08:40] (Flashback) Yamamoto
    I've explained the situation to her already.
[08:42] (Flashback) Yamamoto
    She'll be working under
    the name Yuki Mitsuya.
[08:45] (Flashback) Ichimura
    Huh? What about the real Mitsuya-san?
[08:49] (Flashback) Yamamoto
    She's missing.
[08:51] (Flashback) Ichimura
    What?
[08:52] (Flashback) Yamamoto
    I can't get in touch with her.
[08:54] (Flashback) Ichimura
    But don't you think it's a little soon
    to add a new member?
[08:57] (Flashback) Yamamoto
    You're about to debut. We don't have time.
[09:01] (Flashback) Yamamoto
    Except for Nikaido, you'll wear these.
[09:04] Nikaido
    We convinced Yuki Mitsuya's family
    to let us use her name
[09:07] Nikaido
    so that she could resume
    working once she returned.
[09:10] Nikaido
    Until Yuki Mitsuya returned, they'd wear
    masks when out in front of people.
[09:14] Nikaido
    Ichimura accepted that explanation.
[09:17] Nikaido
    I felt bad for her,
    but it couldn't be helped.
[09:20] Instructor
    Hey, hey! Hey, hey!
[09:23] Nikaido
    Everyone must've thought,
    "If only Yuki Mitsuya were here."
[09:27] Nikaido
    I'd crush those thoughts.
[09:30] Nikaido
    I swore I would.
[09:33] (Flashback) Nikaido
    We need to get used to it, so I'm going
    to call you Mitsuya-san. Sorry.
[09:37] (Flashback) Wadagaki
    That's okay. I'm here to be Yuki Mitsuya.
[09:40] (Flashback) Nikaido
    Mitsuya-san, you don't mind
    not using your own face or name?
[09:44] (Flashback) Wadagaki
    Not at all.
[09:45] (Flashback) Wadagaki
    When I failed this audition,
    I refused to accept it.
[09:49] (Flashback) Wadagaki
    I went to speak directly with Yamamoto.
[09:51] (Flashback) Wadagaki
    "Lemme in, lemme in, lemme in!" I said.
[09:54] (Flashback) Nikaido
    That's impressive.
[09:56] (Flashback) Wadagaki
    I mean, when I failed, they told me
    I was their fourth choice.
[10:01] (Flashback) Wadagaki
    Isn't that frustrating?
    I almost made it. I was so close.
[10:05] (Flashback) Nikaido
    You didn't think about
    auditioning somewhere else?
[10:07] (Flashback) Wadagaki
    Nah. After all, I heard you had passed.
[10:10] (Flashback) Wadagaki
    I knew you'd be famous.
[10:12] (Flashback) Nikaido
    You want to be famous?
[10:14] (Flashback) Wadagaki
    I do.
[10:15] (Flashback) Wadagaki
    I'm from a single-parent home.
[10:17] (Flashback) Wadagaki
    I want to get famous, so my mom
    back in Kyushu can take it easy.
[10:20] (Flashback) Wadagaki
    Even though she works, she wakes
    up early to pack a lunch for me.
[10:24] (Flashback) Nikaido
    I see.
[10:26] (Flashback) Wadagaki
    I feel like I've always caused
     nothing but trouble for my mom.
[10:28] (Flashback) Wadagaki
    I don't have any strengths, you know?
[10:31] (Flashback) Wadagaki
    Sometimes I wish I could just disappear,
[10:34] (Flashback) Wadagaki
    but seeing idols on TV cheered me up.
[10:38] Nikaido
    We waited for the right
    moment to hold a concert.
[10:41] Nikaido
    Yamamoto said we received passing
    marks, but I wasn't satisfied.
[10:45] Nikaido
    I'd tasted defeat.
    We could've done better.
[10:49] Nikaido
    "If only Yuki Mitsuya were here."
[10:51] Nikaido
    "If only Yuki Mitsuya were here."
[10:53] Nikaido
    I couldn't escape the thought, either.
[10:57] Nikaido
    That's when the news broke.
[10:59] Nikaido
    "Nerima high school girl goes missing."
[11:02] Nikaido
    Yamamoto spoke with Yuki Mitsuya's
    family, and they submitted
[11:04] Nikaido
    a missing persons report to the police.
[11:06] Nikaido
    Since her father was famous,
    they made sure that her name
[11:09] Nikaido
    and the fact that she was
    an idol wasn't reported.
[11:13] Nikaido
    The police came to the agency.
[11:14] Nikaido
    I assisted with their
    investigation numerous times.
[11:18] Nikaido
    That day, Yuki Mitsuya got in a taxi
    in Nerima, and now she's missing.
[11:22] Nikaido
    They just needed to trace Yuki Mitsuya's
    movements until she arrived at the agency.
[11:27] Nikaido
    The problem was the taxi
    she took back then.
[11:30] Nikaido
    I was afraid of what the driver might say.
[11:32] Nikaido
    She may have been recorded by his dash cam.
[11:35] Nikaido
    It was imperative that
    we identify that taxi,
[11:38] Nikaido
    but that was a job for
    the rapper and Yamamoto.
[11:41] Nikaido
    All we could do was keep
    steadily working on being idols.
[11:46] Nikaido
    Since we gathered some information
    from the police and news reports,
[11:50] Nikaido
    the next step was to withdraw
    the missing persons report.
[11:53] Nikaido
    While investigating Yuki Mitsuya,
    the rapper discovered something.
[11:58] Nikaido
    A connection between Yuki
    Mitsuya's father and a criminal.
[12:02] Nikaido
    Becoming an idol was Yuki Mitsuya's dream.
[12:05] Nikaido
    However, concerned about the connection
[12:08] Nikaido
    between her father
    and a criminal organization,
[12:10] Nikaido
    she believed that at that rate,
    she couldn't become an idol
[12:13] Nikaido
    and decided to run away from home.
[12:14] Nikaido
    That's what we told Yuki Mitsuya's parents.
[12:18] Nikaido
    Eventually, the missing persons
    request was quietly withdrawn.
[12:23] Nikaido
    I returned to my everyday life.
[12:25] Nikaido
    Did anybody see us?
[12:27] Nikaido
    What if somebody already knows?
[12:29] Nikaido
    What if someone taps me on the shoulder
    from behind while I'm walking around?
[12:32] Nikaido
    My heart palpitations worsened.
    I began breathing heavily.
[12:36] Nikaido
    I couldn't stop sweating.
    My hands shook. I wanted to scream.
[12:41] Nikaido
    I wished desperately to turn back time.
[12:43] Nikaido
    Then I returned to my everyday life again.
[12:46] Nikaido
    Perhaps I'd repeat this cycle
    for the rest of my life.
[12:51] Nikaido
    I thought I'd lose my mind.
[12:52] Baba
    Wait, don't say it yet. There are rules.
SIGN    What's for Lunch?!
SIGN    Asking People Around
    Kichijoji to Lunch!
[12:55] Baba
    Okay, here we go.
[12:56] Baba
    Hey, what's for lunch?
[12:56] Nikaido
    It was Baba who supported me.
[12:59] Nikaido
    I hadn't told him anything, of course.
[13:02] Nikaido
    I was simply saved by his existence.
[13:05] Nikaido
    He was my only comfort.
[13:07] Nikaido
    I hated to lose, and his way
    of living permitted that.
[13:11] Nikaido
    It was okay if I lost. Of course,
    it was okay if I won, too.
[13:14] Nikaido
    It didn't matter, either way.
[13:16] Nikaido
    I could believe that.
[13:17] Nikaido
    I wanted to make him happy.
[13:20] Nikaido
    Winter came. It came suddenly.
[13:25] Newscater
    The deceased is Nerima City resident
    Yuki Mitsuya-san, 18 years old.
SIGN    Nerima City, Tokyo
     Yuki Mitsuya-san (18)
SIGN    Breaking News
SIGN    Shibaura Wharf Abandoned Body Case
     Body Identified as Belonging
    to Member of Popular Idol Group
[13:29] Newscaster
    Yuki Mitsuya-san was a member
    of idol group Mystery Kiss.
[13:33] Newscaster
    Fans have been shocked by
    the sudden news of her death.
[13:42] Kanon
    The tree is so cute.
[13:45] Man A
    It sure is.
[13:47] Newscaster
    The body of Yuki Mitsuya-san of idol
    group Mystery Kiss has been discovered.
SIGN    Body Found at Shibaura Wharf Belongs to Idol Group Member
[13:52] Newscaster
    Her agency will be holding
    a press conference after this.
[13:56] Dobu
    It's happening one week from
    now on December 25th at 16:00.
[14:01] Odokawa
    I should be waiting in the
    parking lot at that time, right?
[14:04] Dobu
    Yeah. Did you see the news?
[14:07] Dobu
    Yamamoto the manager
    probably won't be coming.
[14:09] Dobu
    Lucky us. The fewer guys Yano has,
    the easier this'll be for us.
[14:12] Odokawa
    That's a problem.
[14:14] Dobu
    What?
[14:15] Odokawa
    Nothing.
[14:16] Dobu
    Right. There is a problem.
[14:19] Dobu
    Yuki Mitsuya's body was
    found near Yano's hideout.
[14:22] Dobu
    It's possible that they've moved.
[14:25] Dobu
    And if they have, then the route
    I assumed they'd take is useless.
SIGN    Fuyuki Yamamoto
[14:33] Odokawa
    Oh, you picked up.
[14:35] Yamamoto
    What is it?
[14:36] Odokawa
    You're not going with Yano's crew today?
[14:38] Yamamoto
    I don't have time for that
    right now. You know that.
[14:41] Odokawa
    I'm sure you don't.
[14:42] Yamamoto
    Can I go now? I have
    a press conference to attend.
[14:45] Odokawa
    I want to confirm one thing.
[14:46] Yamamoto
    What?
[14:47] Odokawa
    The Yuki Mitsuya in the photo
    shown on the news
[14:50] Odokawa
    and the Yuki Mitsuya I drove
    in my taxi are different people.
SIGN    Fuyuki Yamamoto
[14:55] Yamamoto
    Are you sure you're not confused?
[14:57] Odokawa
    I drove you guys together.
    The girl who likes fried chicken.
[15:01] Odokawa
    That reminded me.
[15:03] Odokawa
    The girl I drove on October 4th was...
[15:08] Odokawa
    Huh?
SIGN    Fuyuki Yamamoto
SIGN    Call Ended
[15:10] Odokawa
    Seriously?
[15:13] Odokawa
    I can't use Yamamoto. Which means...
[15:24] Odokawa
    Damn it. What is he doing?
SIGN    Little Daimon
[15:34] Sekiguchi
    Sorry, but you'll be staying
    here until Christmas.
[15:39] Imai
    I don't care anymore.
[15:43] Imai
    The concert's been canceled.
[15:45] Imai
    They're not releasing their CD.
[15:48] Imai
    I can't believe Yuki Mitsuya-san is dead.
[15:52] Imai
    When I first saw her in concert,
    I thought she was such a good dancer.
[15:57] Imai
    Now that I think about it,
[15:58] Imai
    the Yuki Mitsuya-san wearing the mask
    was a different person.
[16:04] Yano
    Today's the day Dobu-san goes down.
[16:06] Yano
    I'll force him to award me the crown.
[16:08] Yano
    Scraping by on the boss' opinion of me.
[16:10] Yano
    Best Christmas ever, this'll turn out to be.
[16:13] Yano
    The wind's blowing today. It's cold—
[16:14] Imai
    Excuse me...
[16:15] Yano
    Hey country bumpkin, shut your face!
[16:16] Yano
    It's my turn right now, know your place.
[16:18] Yano
    But I guess there's no need
     for me to be screaming.
[16:20] Yano
    I could say you're my patron,
    in a manner of speaking.
[16:22] Yano
    Sentimentality aside,
    what is it you're seeking?
[16:26] Imai
    Could you put on Mystery
    Kiss's press conference?
[16:42] Yamamoto
    This isn't good. That taxi driver
    remembers Wadagaki's face.
[16:46] Nikaido
    Of course he does.
[16:48] Yamamoto
    Is there any way we can
    put a positive spin on it?
[16:51] Yamamoto
    If the world finds out that
     we tried to cover it up...
[16:54] Yamamoto
    We're just starting to taste success, too.
[16:56] Nikaido
    I'm sure some of the five guys who attended
    our first concert remember her, too.
[17:00] Nikaido
    It's just not possible.
[17:01] Yamamoto
    You're right.
[17:06] Nikaido
    Hello?
[17:08] Nikaido
    Yeah, I'm fine. I'll do my best.
[17:12] Nikaido
    Yeah.
[17:13] Nikaido
    Good luck with the loser's bracket.
[17:16] Nikaido
    I promise I'll come back from this, too.
[17:20] Baba
    You okay? Sorry I didn't notice.
[17:24] Baba
    I'm not capable of trying hard.
[17:26] Baba
    Okay. But don't push yourself too hard. Bye.
[17:30] Shibagaki
    Hey, what are you doing?
[17:32] Baba
    Sorry.
[17:32] Shibagaki
    Let's review our jokes.
[17:34] Baba
    We just did that.
[17:35] Shibagaki
    We still don't know which
    jokes we're performing.
[17:37] Baba
    I thought we agreed on the café hideaway.
[17:39] Shibagaki
    Given the atmosphere, the time
    machine bit could be better.
SIGN    Loser's Bracket
[17:42] Baba
    I remember the time
    machine bit. I'll be fine.
[17:46] Shibagaki
    Don't you care about this at all?
[17:47] Shibagaki
    If we fail here, we're through.
[17:52] Shibagaki
    What?
[17:55] Baba
    You're the one who'll be
    in trouble if we split up.
[17:57] Shibagaki
    Hey, Baba. You've gotten awfully puffed up.
[18:01] Baba
    You used to be funnier.
[18:03] Baba
    I can't watch you fall apart.
[18:05] Baba
    You think all the movies,
    TV shows, and comedians
[18:07] Baba
    that are popular these days aren't funny.
[18:08] Baba
    You're the one who's out of touch.
[18:13] Baba
    I get that you like manzai comedy.
[18:15] Baba
    I know that I'm holding you back, too.
[18:18] Baba
    So I'm sorry, Shibagaki.
    Let's split up, as of today.
SIGN    Space Observation Technology Advances
SIGN    Cancer Research Raises Alarm in Healthcare Industry
[18:32] Librarian
    We're closing soon.
SIGN    Married Couple Found Inside Car That Fell Into Sea, Possible Double Suicide?
[18:40] Goriki
    "Married Couple Found Inside Car That
    Fell Into Sea, Possible Double Suicide?"
[18:46] Goriki
    "Around 4:15, at Takeshiba
    Wharf in Minato Ward,
[18:51] Goriki
    office worker Kiyoshi Odokawa-san
    of Chichibu City in Saitama Prefecture,
[18:54] ---
    and his wife Yumi Odokawa-san,
[18:56] Goriki
    were found dead inside a car that
     had sunk to the bottom of the sea."
[19:00] Goriki
    "Their son, who is in fourth
    grade, escaped on his own,
[19:02] Goriki
    but is unconscious and
     in critical condition."
[19:04] Goriki
    "The police are investigating the
    possibility of a forced double suicide."
[19:13] Yamamoto
    I'm sorry for all the trouble we've caused.
[19:22] Yamamoto
    We've been unable to conceal our shock
[19:25] Yamamoto
    since we learned that Yuki
    Mitsuya was found dead.
[19:29] Yamamoto
    In October, Yuki Mitsuya's
    mother contacted us
[19:32] Yamamoto
    to tell us that her daughter
    hadn't returned home.
[19:35] Yamamoto
    We did everything we could to help look
    for her, but failed to locate her.
[19:40] Yamamoto
    Also, as Mystery Kiss
    was set to debut soon,
[19:45] Yamamoto
    we had another girl who auditioned
    take Yuki Mitsuya's place.
[19:53] Yamamoto
    Ultimately, that meant we deceived
    the world and those involved,
[19:59] Yamamoto
    and for that, we are terribly sorry.
[20:02] Reporter
    I've heard the police are
    investigating this case as a murder.
[20:05] Reporter
    Do you have any idea what happened to her?
[20:08] Yamamoto
    Well, she was underpaid
    before the group debuted.
[20:15] Yamamoto
    I believe she promoted
    herself on social media
[20:17] Yamamoto
    and may have been close with fans as well.
[20:19] Reporter
    You mean she was killed by a fan?
[20:22] Yamamoto
    No, I'm just saying that's a possibility.
[20:26] Yamamoto
    We take responsibility for failing to protect
    her privacy and provide adequate security.
[20:31] Yamamoto
    We cannot regret what happened
    more than we already do.
[20:37] Yamamoto
    We also can't bear to face
    Donraku Shofutei-san
SIGN    Live: Talent Agency
    Emergency Press Conference
[20:42] Yamamoto
    who entrusted his daughter to our agency.
[20:47] Taeko
    Oh, my.
[20:49] Odokawa
    You can't be serious.
[20:56] Kenshiro
    Hey.
[20:58] Odokawa
    I never thought I'd be helping you guys.
[21:01] Odokawa
    Shouldn't you get in position?
[21:03] Kenshiro
    Since they moved their hideout,
    I'll be following them from the bank.
[21:07] Odokawa
    I see.
[21:09] Odokawa
    Where's your best buddy and brother?
[21:11] Kenshiro
    He hasn't come into work for a while.
[21:13] Kenshiro
    I noticed something off about his behavior,
[21:16] Kenshiro
    but I can't believe my meek little
    brother is ignoring my calls.
[21:19] Kenshiro
    Hey, taxi driver. Did you
    say something to him?
[21:24] Odokawa
    Yeah, right. We're on the same
    side now, aren't we?
[21:27] Kenshiro
    When you put it that way, broadly speaking,
[21:30] Kenshiro
    we've been on the same side
    since the beginning.
[21:39] Sekiguchi
    It's time.
[21:41] Sekiguchi
    You know what'll happen to you
    if you go off-script, right?
[21:55] Goriki
    I was referred to you by Dr. Kato
    at Minami Nakano hospital.
[21:59] Goriki
    My name is Goriki.
[22:00] Goriki
    I'd like to ask you about Hiroshi Odokawa.
[22:04] Doctor
    Hiroshi Odokawa-kun was my patient.
[22:08] Goriki
    Could you describe to me
    what he was like then?
[22:11] Doctor
    He spent about two months
    here in the hospital.
[22:14] Doctor
    He was supposed to continue
    outpatient rehabilitation after that,
[22:19] Doctor
    but the courthouse told us
    that a benefactor had shown up,
[22:22] Doctor
    and he'd moved to Tokyo.
[22:24] Doctor
    We don't know what
    happened to him after that.
[22:26] Goriki
    How was his mental state after the accident?
[22:30] Doctor
    He had absolutely no memory of the accident.
[22:33] Doctor
    We observed no problems with his basic
    motor functions and language abilities,
[22:38] Doctor
    so we had him keep a memory notebook
    to work on his mental recovery.
[22:43] Doctor
    His mental condition seemed stable to us.
[22:46] Goriki
    Tell me more about this memory notebook.
[22:48] Doctor
    He recorded the rules for life
    at the hospital, his medications,
[22:51] Doctor
    his bathing schedule, and other
    information pertaining to himself.
[22:55] Doctor
    It was like a diary.
[22:57] Goriki
    What impression did you get
    from reading the notebook?
[23:00] Doctor
    I thought he was a strange child.
[23:04] Goriki
    Do you have that notebook?
[23:05] Doctor
    Yes.
[23:06] Doctor
    Since you said you'd be coming,
    I read it for the first time in 30 years.
[23:11] Goriki
    May I take a look at it?
[23:14] Doctor
    I know you said you're Hiroshi
    Odokawa-kun's current doctor,
[23:18] Doctor
    but it's not meant for a GP like you to see.
[23:24] Goriki
    I'm not asking to see it
    because I'm his doctor.
[23:32] Goriki
    I'm asking because I'm his friend!
SIGN    Next Time: Not Enough
[23:35] Goriki
    You eating properly?
[23:36] Odokawa
    Yeah.
[23:37] Goriki
    It's important to live an orderly life.
[23:39] Odokawa
    I know.
[23:40] Goriki
    And drive safely.
[23:41] Odokawa
    Okay.
[23:42] Goriki
    And stop making everyone worry about you.
[23:44] Odokawa
    Sorry.
[23:45] Goriki
    You should establish a family—
[23:46] Odokawa
    Shut up! You're not my dad!
    We're the same age!

E12 - Not Enough

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:29] Radio
    This is a pretty unusual combination.
SIGN    Not Enough
[01:32] Radio
    Yes, that's right...
[01:33] Odokawa
    It's nearly time.
[01:35] Odokawa
    Imai, please check it.
[01:38] Odokawa
    Check a second duraluminum case.
[01:41] Banker A
    You're certain that this is the right car?
[01:44] Imai
    Yes.
[02:01] Sekiguchi
    Would it be all right
    if we checked the contents?
[02:04] Banker A
    Of course. Imai-sama did
    just check earlier, though.
[02:16] Sekiguchi
    They're definitely real.
[02:17] Banker A
    In that case...
[02:18] Yano
    Hey, yo. Ten duraluminum cases in a row.
[02:21] Yano
    But we still haven't checked
     the ones down below.
[02:23] Yano
    I can spot the difference
    between fake and real.
[02:24] Yano
    Like a plugin with enhanced
    functionality, you feel?
[02:27] Yano
    It's a difference a penniless
    pauper couldn't perceive.
[02:29] Yano
    Now excuse me, as I grab one of these.
[02:31] Yano
    Randomly reaching out, like Romeo and Juliet.
[02:35] Yano
    No guarantees these
    aren't all counterfeit.
[02:37] Yano
    With a single verse, I make
    all these rhymes fit.
[02:39] Yano
    This eyesight is a gift from Santa Claus.
[02:41] Yano
    I can see your darting eyes,
    your powerless paws...
[02:44] Sekiguchi
    We should leave this place first.
[02:46] Sekiguchi
    There's no telling what might happen.
[02:48] Sekiguchi
    We can check the contents later and
    if there's a problem, we'll settle it then.
[02:52] Sekiguchi
    You got their cards, right?
[02:53] Imai
    Ah, yes...
[03:00] Both
    Congratulations on winning the lottery!
SIGN    Niji Bank Building
[03:13] Dobu
    Good work.
[03:14] Dobu
    You did well. Now hurry up.
[03:16] Banker A
    Are we going to be all right? They're not
    going to retaliate later, are they?
[03:19] Dobu
    You'll be fine. Once they lose the
    contest, they'll leave this town.
[03:23] Dobu
    Now, hurry up.
[03:34] Dobu
    You'll get paid once I check the contents.
[03:53] Odokawa
    Looks like it went well.
[03:54] Dobu
    For now, yeah.
[04:01] Odokawa
    Wow.
[04:04] Dobu
    First time seeing this many bills?
[04:06] Odokawa
    Definitely my first time seeing this many.
[04:08] Dobu
    Bet you wish you were
    getting a cut now, huh?
[04:10] Odokawa
    No, I don't need that. But you're
     gonna pay your taxi fare.
[04:13] Dobu
    Small price to pay.
[04:16] Dobu
    Hey.
[04:17] Kenshiro
    They're heading south.
[04:19] Dobu
    Then they should being heading
    towards Hinode Wharf.
[04:21] Dobu
    They've got a hideout there.
SIGN    Dobu
[04:23] Kenshiro
    I'll stop them at the bridge
    just before the wharf, then.
[04:26] Dobu
    Got it. I'll head there right away.
[04:28] Dobu
    You're up, taxi driver.
[04:29] Odokawa
    Where to?
[04:31] Dobu
    Head towards Hinode Wharf.
SIGN    National Traffic Safety Campaign
SIGN    Special Fraud Prevention Campaign
SIGN    Taya Police Station
[04:34] Police A
    Did he quit?
[04:35] Police B
    I heard he lost his gun.
[04:37] Police B
    He's too scared to report it,
    so he's running away.
[04:40] Police A
    He's such an idiot.
[04:42] Police B
    The biggest.
[04:44] Police A
    You sure that isn't made up, too?
[04:45] Police B
    What do you mean?
[04:46] Police A
    What if he actually fired it?
[04:47] Police B
    It's possible. After all, he's an idiot.
[04:49] Police A
    The little brother really is a huge idiot.
[04:52] Kuroda
    I'm sorry I couldn't help you, Don-chan.
[04:55] Donraku
    It's all right.
[04:56] Donraku
    The police and media are doing
    a good enough job distracting me.
[05:00] Kuroda
    I don't know what to say.
[05:02] Donraku
    Let's get a drink again sometime.
[05:04] Kuroda
    You're sure it's all right to meet with me?
[05:07] Kuroda
    They could be monitoring
    this phone call, too.
[05:09] Donraku
    Yeah, I don't care anymore.
    I want to take a break for a while.
[05:14] Kuroda
    I see.
[05:16] Police
    We'd like to continue, please.
[05:19] Donraku
    I'll call you once things have
    calmed down, Kuro-chan.
SIGN    Donraku Shofutei Distraught! Sheds Tears Over Daughter's Body. Extended Hiatus?
[05:25] Entertainer A
    Hey, apparently he stepped down from judging.
[05:27] Entertainer B
    Surely he'll judge the main event, right?
SIGN    Losers' Bracket
[05:29] Entertainer C
    Stop being so precise about it.
[05:32] Both
    Thank you.
[05:35] Shibagaki
    We're doing the time machine bit.
[05:36] Baba
    Got it.
[05:37] Shibagaki
    If you screw it up, I'll kill you.
[05:40] Mc
    With 14 years of experience
    in the business, it's Homosapiens.
[05:46] Baba
    Hello, we're Homosapiens.
[05:48] Both
    Thanks for having us.
[05:50] Shibagaki
    My life is full of regrets.
[05:52] Baba
    Where'd that come from?
[05:53] Shibagaki
    I'm already beginning to regret saying that.
[05:55] Shibagaki
    It was pretty pessimistic.
[05:57] Baba
    You're overthinking it. You'll be fine.
[05:59] Shibagaki
    How can I avoid having regrets?
[06:01] Baba
    The only way is to do your best
    so you can live without regrets.
[06:04] Shibagaki
    You see it in movies and stuff.
[06:05] Shibagaki
    Y'know, when kids travel back using
     a time machine and meet their parents.
[06:08] Baba
    Yeah, I've seen that. There's something
    they regret, so they go back to fix it.
[06:11] Baba
    It's moving, isn't it?
[06:13] Shibagaki
    I'm sure anyone would be moved if a child
    they'd never seen before came to see them.
[06:17] Shibagaki
    I think I'd like to try that.
[06:18] Baba
    Sure, let's do it.
[06:20] Shibagaki
    I didn't say anything weird just now, did I?
[06:22] Baba
    You're already regretting it.
[06:23] Baba
    It'll be fine, I'll do it.
[06:25] Shibagaki
    For real? Let's try it, then.
[06:29] Shibagaki
    Dad.
[06:30] Baba
    Are you...
[06:32] Shibagaki
    Dad, I'm your five-year-old son.
[06:35] Baba
    What?
[06:35] Shibagaki
    Oh, Dad. My father, who gave
    birth to me five years ago.
[06:38] Baba
    I'm going to die within the next five years?!
[06:40] Baba
    Judging by my son's behavior,
    I'm clearly gonna die!
[06:43] Baba
    You made that really obvious!
[06:44] Shibagaki
    I'm sorry I couldn't do
    anything for you, Dad.
[06:46] Baba
    And there's nothing I can do about it?!
[06:48] Baba
    You're not even showing up
    to save your dying dad
[06:50] Baba
    because a cure was found five years later?
[06:52] Baba
    If that's the case, just leave me alone!
[06:54] Shibagaki
    But I, uh...
[06:56] Baba
    What else do you regret?
[07:00] Shibagaki
    Uh, you know...
[07:09] Shibagaki
    My life is full of regrets.
[07:11] Baba
    Yeah, I know that. Like what?
[07:12] Shibagaki
    Shut up, idiot! I regret teaming up with you!
[07:15] Baba
    What was that for?!
[07:16] Shibagaki
    I regret becoming a comedian.
[07:18] Shibagaki
    I shouldn't have chased my dreams!
[07:24] Sekiguchi
    There's a police car
    that's been following us.
[07:26] Sekiguchi
    Shall I lose him?
[07:27] Yano
    Everybody stay calm now,
    don't do anything weird.
[07:30] Yano
    He's just looking for an excuse
    to stop our car here.
[07:32] Yano
    If he uses the law as a shield,
    we'll have to yield, so keep going.
[07:35] Yano
    But there's nothing here
    for him to find.
[07:37] Yano
    We're just moving some cash
    and its owner, how kind.
[07:39] Yano
    If he gets the wrong idea,
    I'll just sit and grin.
[07:42] Yano
    Even if he's a cop, he won't
    have a reason to take us in.
[07:44] Sekiguchi
    Understood. I'll keep driving
    while following all traffic laws.
[07:50] Dobu
    I'm near the bridge.
[07:52] Kenshiro
    Got it.
[07:55] Dobu
    Wait here.
[07:56] Odokawa
    I'll be running the meter while I wait.
[08:00] Kenshiro
    Black HiAce, pull over
    to the left side of the road.
[08:05] Sekiguchi
    What should we do?
[08:06] Yano
    Do as he says, nothing else to be done.
[08:07] Yano
    I bet we'll enjoy looking back on this one.
[08:22] Sekiguchi
    What is it?
[08:23] Kenshiro
    I heard over the radio that some
    bank robbers are on the run.
[08:25] Kenshiro
    Could I take a look inside your car?
[08:27] Sekiguchi
    We're in a hurry.
[08:28] Kenshiro
    I'd appreciate your cooperation.
[08:35] Kenshiro
    What are all these duraluminum cases for?
[08:39] Kenshiro
    I'm going to open one.
[08:42] Kenshiro
    Wow, incredible. Fat stacks of cash.
[08:45] Kenshiro
    Now this is suspicious.
[08:47] Sekiguchi
    He won a lot of money in the lottery.
[08:49] Kenshiro
    Who did?
[08:52] Imai
    Uh, m-me.
[08:54] Kenshiro
    You're sure?
[08:56] Imai
    Yes.
[08:58] Kenshiro
    I'm gonna check the others, too.
[09:05] Kenshiro
    These are fakes.
[09:08] Yano
    W-Wait a sec. That's not possible!
[09:10] Kenshiro
    Why don't we chat in my patrol car?
[09:13] Yano
    Damn it!
[09:15] Yano
    What the hell is this?! It's newspaper!
[09:17] Yano
    Are these other ones, too? All of them?!
[09:19] Sekiguchi
    Y-Yano-san!
[09:20] Yano
    What?
[09:21] Sekiguchi
    Your rhymes...
[09:22] Sekiguchi
    Y-You're not rhyming!
[09:25] Yano
    Shut up.
[09:26] Yano
    Damn it! Someone set us up.
[09:28] Yano
    Who was it? Hey, cop!
[09:29] Yano
    Look into those bankers, chop-chop!
[09:30] Kenshiro
    Let's chat in my car, first.
[09:33] Yano
    No friggin' way. Why?!
[09:35] Yano
    Everything went so well, we were flying sky high!
[09:36] Sekiguchi
    Yano-san, let's do as he says for now!
[09:38] Sekiguchi
    We'll be fine as long as we can
    clear up the misunderstanding.
[09:44] Kenshiro
    You just won the lottery, right?
[09:47] Imai
    Yes.
[09:48] Kenshiro
    Sorry for the trouble. You can go.
[09:51] Imai
    What? From here?
[09:53] Kenshiro
    I'll question you later.
    For now, you can head home.
[09:55] Imai
    Um, what about the money?
[09:57] Kenshiro
    I'll make sure to get it
     back for you, so go.
[10:00] Kenshiro
    You don't wanna die, do you?
[10:06] Sekiguchi
    Why'd you let him leave?
    That doesn't make sense.
[10:09] Kenshiro
    Let's have a nice, long chat.
[10:17] Yano
    I'm telling you, he won the lottery.
[10:20] Yano
    We were just helping him out
    since he doesn't have a ride.
[10:22] Yano
    We didn't know about
    the counterfeits, someone lied!
[10:24] Kenshiro
    What's your relationship with him?
[10:26] Kenshiro
    Why'd you ask for cash?
    Where were you headed?
[10:28] Kenshiro
    Where does he live?
[10:28] Yano
    Enough rapid-fire questions. He's a friend!
[10:30] Kenshiro
    Why'd you ask for cash?
[10:31] Yano
    That's how he wanted it!
[10:32] Sekiguchi
    Hold on, Yano-san.
[10:34] Sekiguchi
    Hey, are you really a cop?
[10:36] Kenshiro
    Of course I am.
[10:38] Sekiguchi
    Show us your badge, then.
[10:46] Sekiguchi
    Hey, follow that car!
[10:49] Yano
    No, we've been screwed!
[10:51] Yano
    That's Dobu's accomplice Daimon, my dude!
[11:13] Dobu
    To the parking lot in Shimbashi.
[11:16] Odokawa
    Got it.
[11:19] Dobu
    The panic on Yano's face was exquisite.
[11:21] Dobu
    We did it. The perfect victory.
[11:25] Dobu
    You're right. We can't
    let our guard down yet.
[11:28] Dobu
    We need to collect the 900
    million in the parking lot, first.
[11:39] Dobu
    What's with you? Not
    gonna congratulate me?
[11:42] Dobu
    Well, I guess there's nothing in it for you.
[11:44] Odokawa
    Oh, were you speaking to me?
[11:48] Dobu
    What, acting like we're strangers already?
[11:50] Dobu
    Stick with me for a little longer.
[11:51] Odokawa
    Of course. I'll take you to the parking lot.
[11:55] Dobu
    You don't need to put on this weird act.
[11:58] Dobu
    I'll be taking your dash cam.
[12:01] Dobu
    Were you planning
    to turn me into the police?
[12:03] Dobu
    There's no point. Big Daimon's on my side.
[12:06] Dobu
    Odokawa, don't even think
    about betraying me now.
[12:10] Dobu
    If you turn on me now, I'll crush
     you with everything I have.
[12:13] Dobu
    Even if I'm arrested, no matter how
    many years it takes, I'll find you.
[12:17] Dobu
    Shirakawa, too.
[12:18] Odokawa
    What are you going to do to Shirakawa-san?
[12:20] Dobu
    I'll kill her.
[12:22] Odokawa
    Fine. I almost forgot that
     you're that kind of guy.
[12:26] Dobu
    I can't afford to worry
    about appearances anymore.
[12:28] Odokawa
    Is your boss that desperate for money?
[12:31] Dobu
    The boss has only one rule for us.
[12:35] Odokawa
    What's that?
[12:38] Dobu
    I'm not telling you.
[12:58] Dobu
    Hey, hold on. Who's that?
[13:09] Odokawa
    Isn't that the guy behind the skull mask?
[13:12] Dobu
    You're right. That's my gun.
[13:14] Odokawa
    What should we do? Should we run for it?
[13:16] Dobu
    No, it's all right. I'll get out.
[13:19] Odokawa
    Won't everything be ruined
    if you get shot here?
[13:22] Dobu
    That gun had six bullets. Count 'em.
[13:25] Dobu
    Two shots at the cabaret club.
[13:26] Dobu
    One shot into your house.
[13:28] Dobu
    Two shots during the car chase.
[13:29] Dobu
    One shot at me at the harbor. He's out.
[13:40] Dobu
    Hey, who are you?
[13:43] Tanaka
    I don't have business with you.
[13:44] Tanaka
    I'm here for the driver.
[13:48] Dobu
    That's my gun. Not only that,
    but I've been shot.
[13:52] Dobu
    I've got plenty of business with you.
[13:54] Dobu
    What do you want?
[13:56] Tanaka
    I don't know what I want anymore.
[14:00] Tanaka
    At first, I lost something important.
[14:03] Tanaka
    I wanted to get revenge on him
    for taking that from me.
[14:05] Tanaka
    That alone was sustaining me.
[14:09] Tanaka
    But unlike with games, I guess I got bored.
[14:11] Dobu
    Hold on. He took something
    important from you?
[14:19] Dobu
    So, what do you want, then?
[14:22] Tanaka
    I want him to apologize.
[14:24] Tanaka
    I harassed him plenty,
    but I've lost a lot, too.
[14:29] Tanaka
    Nothing will satisfy me,
    so I just want him to apologize.
[14:34] Dobu
    That doesn't make any goddamn sense to me.
[14:37] Dobu
    I guess you should start
    by apologizing, then.
[14:43] Odokawa
    Um, I have no idea what
    you're talking about.
[14:47] Tanaka
    You nearly ran me over with your car!
[14:49] Tanaka
    You broke my phone!
[14:52] Odokawa
    By something important,
    you meant your phone?
[14:54] Tanaka
    Spare me the scornful old man lecture
[14:58] Tanaka
    about young people loving
    their phones too much.
[15:02] Odokawa
    That's not what I meant.
[15:04] Odokawa
    Okay, fine.
[15:05] Odokawa
    Uh, I was probably in a hurry.
[15:08] Odokawa
    I know that's not an excuse for
    taking something important from you,
[15:12] Odokawa
    but as a taxi driver, I think
    that was inconsiderate of me.
[15:16] Odokawa
    I'm sorry.
[15:28] Tanaka
    Hey.
[15:33] Tanaka
    Where did you get this?
[15:35] Dobu
    Huh? I gave that to Shirakawa.
[15:39] Dobu
    Why do you have that, Odokawa?
[15:42] Tanaka
    Why did you have this?
[15:44] Dobu
    My superior—as I guess you'd
    call him—knows Donraku.
[15:49] Dobu
    It ended up in my hands.
[15:51] Tanaka
    When?
[15:52] Dobu
    When? More than 15 years ago?
[15:55] Dobu
    Nah, I forget. It was a long time ago.
[15:58] Tanaka
    Only one of these erasers was sold.
    It's the only one of them in the world.
[16:03] Tanaka
    No, wait. There could be leftover
    inventory at Donraku's house.
[16:07] Tanaka
    It wouldn't be odd if an acquaintance had one.
[16:08] Dobu
    What are you mumblin' about? Give back my gun.
[16:12] Dobu
    After that, we can settle—
[16:13] Tanaka
    ditch-11.
[16:14] Dobu
    Huh?
[16:15] Odokawa
    What?
[16:16] Tanaka
    Does the name "ditch-11" sound familiar?
[16:19] Tanaka
    d-i-t-c-h-1-1.
[16:22] Dobu
    Dunno.
[16:24] Tanaka
    Do you know what Zooden is?
[16:25] Dobu
    Huh? Yeah. The game, right?
[16:28] Tanaka
    Do you play?
[16:30] Dobu
    Never played it.
[16:31] Tanaka
    Right now the number one ranked
    account in Zooden is ditch-11.
[16:37] Tanaka
    I sent that account a message
    to confirm something.
[16:40] Tanaka
    I asked them if they used
    online auctions 16 years ago.
[16:43] Dobu
    Oh, really?
[16:44] Tanaka
    They said they did.
[16:47] Tanaka
    Which means they're the person who
    conned me out of 100,000 yen 16 years ago
[16:52] Tanaka
    when I was in grade school.
[16:54] Dobu
    What are you going on about?
    I don't give a shit about that.
[16:58] Dobu
    I'm in a hurry. Give back my gun, already.
[17:00] Tanaka
    Let me see your phone. I want
    to check if Zooden is installed on it.
[17:04] Tanaka
    If you're not them, I'll leave you alone.
[17:05] Dobu
    I told you, it's not!
[17:07] Tanaka
    Then I'm not giving up.
[17:08] Tanaka
    You might be a new boss
    that I have to defeat.
[17:12] Tanaka
    I'm going to kill you.
[17:14] Dobu
    Bring it on. Do it, kid.
[17:16] Odokawa
    H-Hold on. I'm not sure I follow.
[17:19] Odokawa
    Zooden accounts have icons, right?
[17:22] Odokawa
    Show me ditch-11's icon.
[17:35] Odokawa
    It's him.
[17:36] Dobu
    Wait a minute. How—
[17:38] Dobu
    That's right. You can tell.
[17:41] Dobu
    Yeah, I remember now. I used to play Zooden.
[17:44] Dobu
    I haven't played in so long, I'd forgotten.
[17:46] Tanaka
    Why did you lie?
[17:47] Dobu
    Hold up. You lied, too.
[17:49] Dobu
    Nobody contacted me
    about any online auctions.
[17:52] Dobu
    You tricked me.
[17:54] Tanaka
    You lied because you have
    a guilty conscience!
[17:56] Tanaka
    You're the one who conned me
    out of 100,000 yen 16 years ago!
[18:00] Tanaka
    Since then, my life has fallen apart!
[18:03] Tanaka
    It's your fault!
[18:06] Dobu
    I know you don't have any bullets left.
[18:08] Dobu
    Don't try to act tough.
[18:45] Dobu
    Damn... Why were there still bullets left?
[18:48] Odokawa
    Don't speak. Stay still.
[18:52] Dobu
    Take me to a doctor, Odokawa.
[18:55] Dobu
    There's an unlicensed doctor
    I'm well-acquainted with.
[18:59] Dobu
    Hurry up. Put me in your taxi.
[19:03] Dobu
    Otherwise, the police...
[19:05] Odokawa
    Found it.
[19:07] Dobu
    Hey.
[19:09] Odokawa
    You should go to a normal hospital.
    Receive proper treatment.
[19:14] Odokawa
    I'm sure someone's already called
    the police and an ambulance.
[19:17] Dobu
    Wait. The car. What are
    you going to do with it?
[19:22] Odokawa
    I'm going to return the money to its owner.
[19:25] Odokawa
    It finally caught up to you.
[19:30] Dobu
    Don't screw with me, Odokawa.
[19:33] Odokawa
    This is what they call retribution.
[19:36] Odokawa
    This is goodbye for you and me.
[19:47] Odokawa
    Hello, Imai? Where are you now?
[19:50] Imai
    I'm in Akasaka.
[19:52] Imai
    I don't have any money to take the train.
[19:55] Odokawa
    Come to the parking lot
    in Shimbashi, right now.
[19:58] Odokawa
    There's a black van parked there.
[20:00] Odokawa
    Your money is inside, so don't worry.
[20:02] Odokawa
    Take the taxi. The keys are under the car.
[20:06] Imai
    Really? I'll head there right away.
[20:08] Odokawa
    I'm getting out of here.
[20:10] Odokawa
    The police might be at the parking lot,
[20:13] Odokawa
    but stay calm and get
    in the car, like you belong.
[20:19] Sekiguchi
    Yano-san, he was with Dobu-san!
    He's working with him!
[20:22] Yano
    That's him, huh?!
[20:23] Odokawa
    Shit. I'll give you the 100 million later.
[20:33] Yano
    After him!
[20:56] Kenshiro
    Bro...
[20:57] Koshiro
    Bro, you always called me an idiot,
[21:00] Koshiro
    but in the end, you were the bigger idiot.
[21:02] Kenshiro
    Yeah, maybe you're right.
[21:05] Koshiro
    Was it Yano's crew that beat you up?
[21:08] Kenshiro
    Yeah.
[21:11] Koshiro
    Let's go arrest them for interference
    with public duties, inflicting bodily injury,
[21:15] Koshiro
    stealing a patrol car, and—
[21:17] Kenshiro
    I can't. I'm gonna be arrested, too.
[21:20] Koshiro
    Of course you are. After all, you're evil.
[21:24] Koshiro
    You sided with Dobu.
    I'm going to arrest you.
[21:27] Koshiro
    You know, because you're evil.
[21:29] Kenshiro
    You're right.
[21:31] Koshiro
    Why'd you have to side with Dobu?!
[21:34] Koshiro
    You idiot! You're such an idiot!
[21:35] Koshiro
    Liar! You lied to me, Bro!
[21:38] Koshiro
    We promised we'd punish evil together!
[21:45] Kenshiro
    Do you remember this?
[21:49] Koshiro
    What's that?
[21:50] Koshiro
    I think I remember seeing it when
    we graduated from police school.
[21:53] Kenshiro
    They give it to you once you stop
    receiving payments from the foundation
[21:56] Kenshiro
    for kids orphaned by traffic accidents.
[21:58] Koshiro
    What about it?
[22:00] Kenshiro
    The person who gave this
    to me is Dobu's boss.
[22:03] Koshiro
    That's why you helped Dobu?
[22:06] Kenshiro
    Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't tell you.
[22:09] Kenshiro
    You've got a strong sense of justice.
    I didn't think you'd forgive me.
[22:13] Koshiro
    I won't!
[22:14] Koshiro
    No, I will! After all, you're my brother!
[22:17] Koshiro
    But the law won't forgive you!
[22:20] Koshiro
    I wish it would, though!
[22:23] Koshiro
    But... But...
[22:27] Koshiro
    What Yano and his guys did
    is even more unforgivable.
[22:30] Koshiro
    We're gonna go arrest them!
[22:31] Koshiro
    Let's go, Bro!
SIGN    Next Time: Where To?
[23:35] Odokawa
    I'm clumsy with words, so I'm not
    good at this kind of thing,
[23:39] Odokawa
    but in any case, thank you, everyone.
[23:43] Odokawa
    If I'm able to return
    to my normal life, then—
[23:45] Odokawa
    What? Last train?
[23:47] Odokawa
    In that case, have
    a Happy New Year, everyone.

E13 - Where To?

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Where To?
[00:27] Odokawa
    "I love animals.
[00:29] Odokawa
    When I grow up, I want to work at the zoo.
[00:33] Odokawa
    That's because I don't like humans.
[00:36] Odokawa
    Being around humans makes me anxious.
[00:41] Odokawa
    I'm always told to look people
    in the eye when I talk to them,
[00:43] Odokawa
    but I'm too scared to do it.
[00:46] Odokawa
    I hate going to festivals where
    there are lots of people, too.
[00:50] Odokawa
    My classmates tease me,
    hit me, and laugh at me.
[00:56] Odokawa
    I'm not good at school or sports,
    so my teachers won't help me.
[01:01] Odokawa
    Even the teachers tease me.
[01:05] Odokawa
    When that happens, I can't stop the tears.
[01:08] Odokawa
    The harder I try to stop them,
    the more they keep coming.
[01:13] Odokawa
    It's so frustrating and embarrassing,
    I wish I could disappear.
[01:18] Odokawa
    When I cry out loud,
    my classmates laugh at me.
[01:22] Odokawa
    They say I'm like a walrus and laugh at me."
[01:28] Odokawa
    "I wish I were a walrus instead."
SIGN    I wish I were a walrus instead.
[01:34] Odokawa
    "My mom is the same way.
[01:36] Odokawa
    Since Dad never comes home, she's always
    annoyed and takes it out on me.
[01:41] Odokawa
    Every day she eats lots of food,
    and then she hits me and screams at me.
[01:46] Odokawa
    Unlike at school, I don't cry at home.
[01:50] Odokawa
    That's because my mom cries.
[01:53] Odokawa
    My dad's never home
    because he has a mistress.
[01:58] Odokawa
    When he does occasionally
    come home, he gets blind drunk.
[02:03] Odokawa
    That's my dad,
[02:05] Odokawa
    but he bought me an animal
    encyclopedia, so I like him okay.
SIGN    Animal Encyclopedia
[02:10] Odokawa
    I never got tired of looking
    at my animal encyclopedia.
[02:14] Odokawa
    I read lots of animal books at the library,
[02:16] Odokawa
    but I like this book
    my dad gave me the most."
[02:20] Odokawa
    "There's something else
    that I like, too. Cars.
[02:24] Odokawa
    I think it would be okay to get a job
    driving cars when I grow up, too.
[02:28] Odokawa
    On rare occasions, my dad
    takes me for a ride in his car.
[02:34] Odokawa
    I liked going on drives as a family,
[02:37] Odokawa
    but these days, my mom doesn't ride with us.
[02:40] Odokawa
    I think my dad doesn't bring my mom
    because he's going to see his mistress.
[02:46] Odokawa
    He tells me, 'Hiroshi, don't tell your
    mother,' and leaves me at the zoo.
[02:52] Odokawa
    I feel bad for my mom,
    but I loved my time at the zoo.
[02:58] Odokawa
    I couldn't look people in the eye, but I could
    stare into the eyes of animals forever.
[03:03] Odokawa
    I couldn't speak to people,
    but I could speak to animals.
[03:08] Odokawa
    I saw a walrus.
[03:11] Odokawa
    They make funny sounds
    and they're fat, just like me.
[03:16] Odokawa
    I thought they looked like my mom, too.
[03:21] Odokawa
    When I think about returning
    to reality with all its humans,
[03:26] Odokawa
    I'd rather stay here forever.
[03:41] Odokawa
    That's why that day, on the day
    of the accident, I...
SIGN    National Traffic Safety Campaign
[03:48] Mc
    The loser's bracket group
    that will be advancing to the finals
SIGN    Losers' Bracket
[03:51] Mc
    is entry number 1770, Rush Style!
[03:55] Entertainer
    Huh? What? Really?! Thank you!
[03:57] Entertainer
    We did it, Nozuyama-kun!
SIGN    N-1 Grand Prix
     2021 Losers' Bracket
[04:00] Entertainer
    I'm so happy. I'm already writing jokes.
[04:04] Audience B
    Apparently Donraku-san stepped down
    from the judge's panel.
[04:06] Audience A
    What else would he do? His daughter died.
[04:09] Mc
    How do you feel right now?
[04:09] Audience B
    Ma'am, can we change the channel?
[04:11] Entertainer
    We'll ride this wave all the way to—
SIGN    Live: Private Taxi Speeding Down Expressway
[04:19] Shirakawa
    Odokawa-san's not answering his phone.
[04:22] Goriki
    Where is that taxi?
[04:23] Shirakawa
    It's heading towards
    the harbor from Toranomon.
[04:27] Goriki
    Got it. I'll head there.
[04:29] Shirakawa
    Take me with you, Dr. Goriki.
[04:44] Shibagaki
    The other day, a high school listener
    was waiting for me to come outside.
[04:47] Shibagaki
    He asked me to team up with him.
[04:50] Shibagaki
    He must be disappointed after
    watching that loser's bracket.
[04:53] Shibagaki
    All we did was scream insults at each other.
[04:57] Shibagaki
    Hey, do you really want to split up?
[05:00] Baba
    You're the one who said we should split up
    if we didn't make it this year.
[05:04] Shibagaki
    We were so close.
[05:05] Shibagaki
    If we quit after I forgot our jokes,
    all I'd have left would be regrets.
[05:08] Shibagaki
    Next year will be our last year.
    Won't you reconsider?
[05:13] Shibagaki
    I need you.
[05:15] Shibagaki
    I need you to be my straight man.
[05:17] Baba
    You always said I was a crap straight man.
[05:18] Shibagaki
    C'mon, please.
[05:20] Shibagaki
    I'll write funnier jokes.
    Be my straight man.
[05:22] Shibagaki
    Interrupt me again!
[05:29] Yamamoto
    The police will probably
    keep questioning us.
[05:33] (Flashback) Yamamoto
    We should get our story straight.
[05:35] (Flashback) Nikaido
    Shouldn't we just tell them the truth?
[05:38] (Flashback) Yamamoto
    The truth? Do you understand what we did?
[05:56] Girl A
    Have you ever seen her house?
[05:58] (Flashback) Girl B
    It's an obvious prefab packed to the brim, right?
[06:01] (Flashback) Girl A
    Yeah. They say that's why she
    spends all her time in the bath.
[06:04] Girl B
    That's hilarious. I bet she gets super wrinkly.
SIGN    My Dream For the Future
SIGN    Super Rich
[06:20] Wadagaki
    Welcome home.
[06:21] (Flashback) Mom
    Sorry I'm late.
[06:23] (Flashback) Mom
    Have you eaten dinner yet?
[06:25] (Flashback) Wadagaki
    Not yet, but you must be tired
    from work, right?
[06:27] (Flashback) Wadagaki
    I'll find something to eat.
[06:30] (Flashback) Mom
    You'll need a lunch for tomorrow.
    I'll make dinner while I'm at it.
[06:33] (Flashback) Mom
    I don't have fried chicken, though.
[06:35] (Flashback) Wadagaki
    Thanks, Mom.
[06:38] (Flashback) Mom
    As someone whose dreams were
    shattered, you look radiant to me.
[06:42] (Flashback) Mom
    You only get one go around in life.
[06:44] (Flashback) Mom
    You gotta do whatever it takes
    to make your dreams come true.
[07:15] Tanaka
    I have nothing left. It's game over.
SIGN    Ksawa
     @Ksawa_2daime
SIGN    Ksawa
SIGN    I was shocked to learn that Donraku's daughter is the dead Mystery Kiss girl and I feel bad for them, but how I'm going to support myself from now on is the bigger, more serious mystery.
[07:38] Yano
    Hit him again! Again!
SIGN    Road Closed
[07:50] Shirakawa
    Did you figure out what
    Odokawa-san's illness is called?
[07:53] Goriki
    Yeah. It's called...
[07:59] (Flashback) Doctor
    Visual agnosia caused
    by executive dysfunction.
[08:04] (Flashback) Goriki
    Visual agnosia...
[08:07] Shirakawa
    What is that?
[08:09] Goriki
    He doesn't know what
    his eyes are looking at.
[08:12] Goriki
    Damage to his brain is causing
    an error in its cognitive function.
[08:23] Shirakawa
    Stop the car, Doctor!
[08:40] Yano
    You're not getting away!
[09:12] Goriki
    Shirakawa-kun!
[09:31] Kabasawa
    Th-This'll go viral!
[10:03] Shibagaki
    Please. One more time.
[10:05] Shibagaki
    Be my straight man one more time.
[10:09] Shibagaki
    Seriously? I'm being interrupted by a car?!
[10:40] Odokawa
    "That's why that day,
    on the day of the accident,
[10:43] Odokawa
    I remember being happy.
[10:46] Odokawa
    My mom put my plastered dad in
    the car and took us for a drive.
[10:52] Odokawa
    It'd been so long since we'd gone
    for a drive as a family.
[10:55] Odokawa
    My dad was sleeping in the back seat,
[10:58] Odokawa
    and my mom seemed like
    she was in a bad mood,
[11:01] Odokawa
    but I was having fun.
[11:03] Odokawa
    It was my first night drive.
[11:06] Odokawa
    The roads and traffic signals and lights
    of the cars were sparkly and pretty."
[11:12] Odokawa
    "When I woke up,
    I was lying in a hospital bed.
[11:16] Odokawa
    My head felt dizzy. I felt weird.
[11:21] Odokawa
    The doctors explained a bunch of stuff
    to me, but I don't remember much.
[11:26] Odokawa
    All I remember is that my dad and mom
    went somewhere after the accident
[11:31] Odokawa
    and that the doctor kind of
    looked like an alligator,
[11:36] Odokawa
    since I had actually become a walrus."
[11:40] Odokawa
    "My relatives and teachers showed up
[11:43] Odokawa
    and had serious conversations
    and told me all kinds of stuff,
[11:48] Odokawa
    but I didn't really care.
[11:51] Odokawa
    I met patients and nurses,
    but it didn't bother me at all.
[11:57] Odokawa
    After all, they were pandas and beavers
    and tortoises and llamas and stuff.
[12:03] Odokawa
    Everyone said they felt sorry for me,
    but I was better off than I was before."
[12:09] Odokawa
    "One day, a tapir showed up
    and said he'd look after me.
[12:15] Odokawa
    I wouldn't have to see
    my old classmates again,
[12:18] Odokawa
    and I'd get to move to Tokyo.
[12:20] Odokawa
    I couldn't imagine anything better.
[12:23] Odokawa
    I was really glad that I'd become a walrus.
[12:28] Odokawa
    I only met the tapir then,
[12:31] Odokawa
    but I wanted to go thank him
    properly someday."
[13:00] Shirakawa
    Queixada!
[13:09] Goriki
    Hey, over here! Hurry!
[13:20] Goriki
    Odokawa!
[13:21] Shirakawa
    Odokawa-san.
[13:24] Goriki
    Odokawa!
[13:25] Shirakawa
    Odokawa-san.
[13:30] Goriki
    Odokawa.
[13:33] Shirakawa
    Odokawa-san...
[13:41] Goriki
    Hey, Odokawa. What do I look like to you?
[13:45] Odokawa
    A human.
[13:47] Goriki
    I see. Does that scare you?
[13:49] Odokawa
    No, I'm not scared. I'm okay.
[13:53] Shirakawa
    What about me?
[13:59] Shirakawa
    What? You're scared of me?
[14:01] Odokawa
    No. You're... pretty.
[14:07] Goriki
    Looks like he still can't talk to women.
[14:31] Koshiro
    Your plan ended in failure, Dobu.
[14:33] Koshiro
    But don't worry. I'll let you go.
[14:36] Dobu
    Daimon!
[14:38] Koshiro
    Just kidding. I'm the younger brother!
[14:40] Dobu
    That's not a funny prank.
[14:42] Koshiro
    Odokawa said the same thing.
[14:44] Koshiro
    He said only relatives think it's funny.
[14:46] Dobu
    Why are you here?
[14:47] Koshiro
    An officer will be arriving with your arrest
    warrant soon. I thought I'd let you know.
[14:51] Dobu
    Why'd you tell me that? What if I run away?
[14:55] Koshiro
    Then I'll shoot you again. Bang!
[14:59] Dobu
    That shot was you?
[15:01] Koshiro
    I got in a lot of trouble for it,
    but I got to arrest your gang.
[15:04] Koshiro
    No big deal.
[15:05] Dobu
    You know what'll happen if I get arrested.
[15:08] Dobu
    Your brother will go down, too.
[15:09] Koshiro
    That's right. After all,
    what my brother did was bad.
[15:13] Koshiro
    Crimes should be punished.
[15:15] Koshiro
    Evil can never be destroyed completely,
    but I'll keep maintaining the peace.
[15:19] Koshiro
    After all, I'm a police officer!
[15:29] Shirakawa
    Would you like some jelly?
    Or would you prefer pudding?
[15:32] Odokawa
    That's enough. Just sit. It's fine.
[15:36] Newscaster
    Yesterday the MPD arrested
    Mystery Kiss member Rui Nikaido,
[15:40] Newscaster
    who they had been questioning
    in connection to the murder
SIGN    Suspects Arrested in Yuki Mitsuya-san Murder
     Body Dumped in Sea After Killing
[15:44] Newscaster
    of Mystery Kiss member Yuki Mitsuya-san.
SIGN    Arrested: Rui Nikaido (18)
SIGN    Suspected of dumping body in the sea after killing fellow group member at agency office
[15:48] Newscaster
    Mystery Kiss manager Fuyuki Yamamoto,
SIGN    Arrested: Unemployed
    Togo Sekiguchi (26)
SIGN    Arrested: Employee
    Fuyuki Yamamoto (34)
SIGN    Arrested: Unemployed
    Haruhito Yano (28)
[15:52] Newscaster
    Haruhito Yano, unemployed,
    and Togo Sekiguchi, also unemployed,
[15:58] Newscaster
    were arrested for abandoning a body.
[16:01] Newscaster
    Rui Nikaido is denying the charges...
[16:05] Odokawa
    Oh, right. I just remembered.
[16:07] Shirakawa
    What?
[16:08] Odokawa
    N-Nothing. It's got nothing to do with you.
[16:11] Shirakawa
    You're still acting shy?
[16:14] Shirakawa
    They've been reporting
    on this story since this morning.
[16:17] Shirakawa
    Odokawa-san, you'll probably
    be interviewed at some point,
[16:20] Shirakawa
    but once things settle down,
    I'd like to go to the zoo.
[16:23] Odokawa
    What? With me?
[16:27] Goriki
    I brought someone who said
    he wanted to see you, Odokawa.
[16:30] Imai
    Odokawa-sama, are you feeling all right?
[16:33] Odokawa
    Thankfully, I'm doing okay.
[16:36] Odokawa
    Oh, it's Imai.
[16:38] Imai
    That's great!
[16:39] Odokawa
    More importantly, are you okay? That idol...
[16:43] Imai
    It came as a huge shock,
[16:45] Imai
    and if she really did do it,
    that would be a terrible thing,
[16:49] Imai
    but when I think about it, getting to visit
    an idol in prison is a precious experience.
[16:53] Odokawa
    You're looking at this really positively.
[16:56] Imai
    So once I visit her—even if I don't,
[16:58] Imai
    I'll decide whether or not
    I want to continue supporting her.
[17:02] Imai
    Oh, right.
[17:05] Imai
    The police retrieved the money
    that fell into the ocean.
[17:08] Imai
    I know some of it's missing,
    but this is for you.
[17:12] Odokawa
    I don't want this.
[17:13] Imai
    Please, you have to take it!
[17:15] Imai
    I caused all kinds of trouble for you,
    and you helped me a lot.
[17:19] Shirakawa
    He seems insistent. Why don't you accept it?
[17:21] Goriki
    Yeah. It can't hurt to have it.
[17:25] Odokawa
    Yeah, but I wouldn't know how to use it.
[17:28] Goriki
    You could pay off Kakihana's debt.
[17:30] Odokawa
    No. I'll make him pay it off himself.
[17:33] Odokawa
    Oh, I can think of one use for it.
[17:35] Imai
    You'll accept it, then?!
[17:37] Imai
    Well, I should get going.
[17:39] Imai
    There's a Rui-tan fan meeting to
    discuss what we'll do going forward.
[17:43] Odokawa
    Right. That reminds me.
[17:46] Odokawa
    The girl I drove late at night on October 4th
    to the Mystery Kiss office...
[17:50] Imai
    Huh? What are you talking about?
[17:52] Odokawa
    Nothing. I guess I should tell the police.
[17:55] Imai
    Well, goodbye. I'll visit again.
[18:00] Goriki
    One use? You mean the traffic
    accident orphan foundation?
[18:03] Odokawa
    I knew you'd figure it out.
[18:05] Goriki
    Do you have any idea
    who to return the money to?
[18:10] Odokawa
    I'm sure my landlady knows.
[18:12] Goriki
    Why don't you give it to him yourself?
[18:15] Goriki
    He's a tapir. You know who that is?
[18:19] Odokawa
    I see. A tapir.
[18:23] Odokawa
    So that's how it is.
[18:24] Goriki
    Also, Odokawa, this is hard to say,
    but I need to confirm something.
[18:29] Odokawa
    What is it?
[18:30] Goriki
    What's inside your house?
[18:41] Kondo
    Oh, no! He's falling!
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    -Yamabiko
[18:58] Kuroda
    You all better now?
[19:01] Odokawa
    I was always healthy. I can sleep now, too.
[19:05] Kuroda
    Glad to hear it.
[19:07] Odokawa
    Confidently speaking to a human like you
    is a huge step forward for me.
[19:14] Odokawa
    I'm still not comfortable
    around women, though.
[19:17] Kuroda
    I see.
[19:19] Odokawa
    The police haven't arrested you.
[19:22] Kuroda
    That's because I have
    exceptional subordinates.
[19:25] Odokawa
    I'm sure a lot of people
    suffered because of you,
[19:29] Odokawa
    but I'm not here to criticize you for that.
[19:31] Odokawa
    That's not my job, and you've probably
    saved more people than that.
[19:37] Kuroda
    I'm going to retire.
[19:39] Kuroda
    Not only did I fail to save
    Don-chan's daughter,
[19:42] Kuroda
    but my subordinates were involved.
[19:44] Kuroda
    Talk about putting the cart
    before the horse.
[19:46] Odokawa
    I heard from Dobu
    that you have only one rule.
[19:51] Kuroda
    Yeah. "Don't kill people." That's all.
[19:57] Odokawa
    I see.
[20:02] Odokawa
    There's close to 100 million yen in here.
[20:05] Odokawa
    I want you to do as much as you can with it.
[20:07] Odokawa
    Even if it's just helping the kids
    you're currently supporting,
[20:09] Odokawa
    don't tell them until
    you give them that doll.
[20:14] Odokawa
    You've been a great help
    until now. Thank you.
[20:54] Odokawa
    Great. It's just a cat.
[21:01] Kondo
    Let's get started. Hello.
[21:02] Kondo
    We're Bonnou Illumination.
[21:03] Fukumoto
    We sure did get roped into this.
[21:05] Kondo
    That's right. We're pinch-hitters.
[21:08] Fukumoto
    For Homosapiens.
[21:09] Kondo
    Don't say their name.
[21:10] Fukumoto
    There's nothing wrong
    with saying their name.
[21:12] Kondo
    Right. It's okay to mention their name.
[21:13] Fukutomo
    Can you believe Baba-san
    was dating a murderer?
[21:16] Kondo
    You're not supposed to say that.
[21:17] Fukumoto
    Everyone will creeped out unless I say it.
[21:19] Kondo
    She's still only a suspect.
[21:21] Fukumoto
    Forget about that. We're here
    to produce a proper radio show.
[21:26] Wadagaki
    Mom, how are you?
[21:28] Wadagaki
    Yeah, I transferred to a bigger agency.
[21:31] Wadagaki
    Yeah. Things are going so
    well, it's almost scary.
[21:34] Wadagaki
    At first, I hounded the manager
    after I failed an audition.
[21:39] Wadagaki
    Thinking about it now makes me laugh.
[21:42] Wadagaki
    I was frustrated, though.
[21:45] Wadagaki
    Yeah, it went well.
[21:48] Wadagaki
    If they hadn't become famous after that,
    I think I would've been content.
[21:52] Wadagaki
    But when I heard they'd be releasing their
    first CD, I couldn't sit still anymore.
[21:57] Wadagaki
    Yeah, everything's going well.
[22:01] Wadagaki
    Honestly, I wasn't expecting
    to lose someone else,
[22:04] Wadagaki
    but I get more attention because of that.
[22:07] Wadagaki
    I'm thinking about losing another
    and becoming a solo act.
[22:12] Wadagaki
    What? I'm too greedy?
[22:15] Wadagaki
    No, nothing for now.
[22:18] Wadagaki
    All I headed out to do was find
    the taxi I rode in then.
[22:23] Wadagaki
    I think I found it.
[22:25] Wadagaki
    It was a total coincidence.
    I must be lucky after all.
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[22:28] Wadagaki
    Everything's going my way.
[22:30] Wadagaki
    I'll tell you more about it later.
[22:33] Wadagaki
    Don't worry. It'll go well again.
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    when this app is uninstalled.
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[22:36] Wadagaki
    Over the end of the year—
[22:39] Wadagaki
    Actually, I'll tell you about it later.
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[22:42] Wadagaki
    Yeah. Will you make fried chicken
    again for me sometime?
[22:46] Wadagaki
    Like you said, I'm gonna do whatever it takes
    to make my dream come true.
[22:57] Boss A
    Kakihana, let's get lunch.
[22:59] Kakihana
    Okay.
[23:15] Odokawa
    All right.
[23:22] Odokawa
    Hop on in.
[23:28] Odokawa
    Where to?