# E1 - Tsubasa Family, Part One
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GYJQ120W6/tsubasa-family-part-1)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:00] ---**
Let's remember what happened that Golden Week where
Tsubasa Hanekawa and I played around to our hearts' content.
It's a recent and bitter memory. Somewhere it is
a bittersweet one, but I wish I was able to forget
about it even if that wasn't possible, I wish it never happened.
Let's remember those nine days that glimmered in gold.
In regards to timing, it was my second year in high
school, going into the third year, two weeks of
spring vacation, meaning it was a month after
that hell I experienced. It was that time. She was
bewitched by a cat. A cat. A carnivorous feline
mammal. So, since Golden Week, I can't stand cats
anymore. I'm scared of cats. That's right. As I am
afraid of Tsubasa Hanekawa. Now, please listen
to the story about the dream I had last night.
**[00:03] ---**
APRIL 29TH, SATURDAY, MORNING
**[00:08] ---**
Why are you falling back asleep?
**[00:15] ---**
Die.
**[00:19] ---**
T-Tsukihi, what are you doing!
Trying to kill your brother?
**[00:22] ---**
Big brothers who just
fall asleep again should die.
**[00:27] ---**
I don't get why you'd go back
to sleep after Karen and I woke you up.
**[00:31] ---**
You should die!
You should die! You should die!
**[00:35] ---**
Your character setup is
messed up from the start!
**[00:38] ---**
Apparently my personality
isn't set like everyone else's.
**[00:43] ---**
I'm attempting to be
"yandere (sick-dere)."
**[00:44] ---**
More like a lunatic than "yandere"!
**[00:49] ---**
Man, Golden Week starts today.
Not even one good thing's happened.
**[00:54] ---**
You're so negative from day one.
**[00:57] ---**
It's been less than nine hours
since Golden Week started!
**[01:01] ---**
Oh yeah.
**[01:02] ---**
Let's talk about love, Tsukihi-chan.
**[01:05] ---**
Love?
**[01:19] ---**
In the blackest darkness
**[01:19] ---**
Kuroi yami no naka
**[01:25] ---**
my first emotion
**[01:25] ---**
sotto saiteita
**[01:31] ---**
was blooming quietly
**[01:31] ---**
Hajimete no kokoro
**[01:36] ---**
I’m sure you don’t know that
**[01:36] ---**
Kimi wa kitto shiranai
**[01:42] ---**
Although I can’t grab your hands
**[01:42] ---**
Sashinobete kureta te wo
**[01:48] ---**
that are reaching out to me
**[01:48] ---**
Tsukamezu ni iru watashi wa
**[01:54] ---**
Just a little more
**[01:54] ---**
Ato sukoshi mou sukoshi
**[02:00] ---**
I am longing for more of you
**[02:00] ---**
Kimi ni motto motomete iru
**[02:06] ---**
That is a ray of light
**[02:06] ---**
Sore wa hitosuji no hikari
**[02:16] ---**
I don’t want to know yet
**[02:16] ---**
Kokoro no yukue wo
**[02:21] ---**
where my heart is heading
**[02:21] ---**
ima wa mada shiritaku nai
***SIGN*** Episode 1 Tsubasa Family
**[02:39] ---**
SIT UP
**[02:40] ---**
So what kind of love are
we talking about, Big Brother?
**[02:44] ---**
You have a boyfriend
in middle school.
**[02:46] ---**
You've probably been asked
by many friends for love advice.
**[02:50] ---**
A veteran such as yourself
is the only one I can ask.
**[02:55] ---**
The truth is there's a girl in class
that I'm interested in right now.
**[02:59] ---**
I may be showing signs of interest in
a female classmate since my class changed.
**[03:05] ---**
What!
**[03:06] ---**
Is it that surprising?
**[03:07] ---**
Of course!
**[03:09] ---**
It's more than a surprise!
This is a bombshell!
**[03:12] ---**
IT'LL WEAKEN ME AS A HUMAN (COLOR ART WORK)
**[03:12] ---**
"Making friends will
weaken me as a human."
**[03:15] ---**
You used to say horrible things
like that, and now you like someone?
**[03:20] ---**
This is as shocking as if a dog spoke!
**[03:23] ---**
Don't jump the gun!
**[03:24] ---**
It's just on my mind. And it's still a "maybe"
or "it could be," so it hasn't been settled.
**[03:30] ---**
Huh?
**[03:31] ---**
That's why I'm consulting
you even though I don't want to.
**[03:35] ---**
Say there's a person of the opposite sex.
How do you know if you like them or not?
**[03:42] ---**
Um, sorry, Big Brother. What was
it again? Could you repeat it?
**[03:47] ---**
What, you didn't hear?
Listen carefully now.
**[03:51] ---**
How do you decide if you like
a person as a significant other?
**[03:55] ---**
In other words,
with feelings towards others,
**[03:56] ---**
HATE NORM LIKE
**[03:58] ---**
at what point is it normal
and at what point is it love?
**[04:03] ---**
Comebacks are usually
your thing and not mine, but...
**[04:09] ---**
"I'm not sure if this feeling is love," huh?
**[04:13] ---**
What are you, a maiden in love? Sit up!
**[04:15] ---**
SIT UP
**[04:16] ---**
Explain it from the beginning,
you bastard of a big brother.
**[04:21] ---**
Well, um, I can't really
go into specifics, but...
**[04:26] ---**
Well, let's say the subject is H-san.
**[04:29] ---**
H-san? That's pretty specific.
**[04:32] ---**
We joined the same class this month.
**[04:35] ---**
FLASHBACK
**[04:37] ---**
I realized I was
thinking a lot about H-san.
**[04:41] ---**
H-san
**[04:43] ---**
Not just thinking...
**[04:44] ---**
During class, if my vision swims
from the board, I look in her direction.
**[04:50] ---**
Not just in school.
**[04:52] ---**
On my way to and from home,
I kind of look for H-san too.
**[04:57] ---**
When I go to the bookstore, I think...
**[05:00] ---**
"It's a small town,
so I might run into her."
**[05:03] ---**
When I read the book I bought there, I think to
myself, "Ah, I think H-san would like that sentence."
**[05:11] ---**
Even if I want to buy naughty books, I think,
"H-san would hate me if I buy this..."
**[05:16] ---**
...and I put the book
right back on the shelf.
**[05:20] ---**
Big Brother, you're telling me too much.
I don't want to invade your privacy.
**[05:25] ---**
Or rather, I don't want to hear about
you hesitating to buy naughty books.
**[05:29] ---**
Actually, Big Brother...
**[05:31] ---**
What?
**[05:31] ---**
That's love.
**[05:32] ---**
You never know.
**[05:34] ---**
I've never fallen
in love in the first place.
**[05:37] ---**
Never?
**[05:38] ---**
You could say never.
**[05:41] ---**
SIT UP
**[05:42] ---**
I want to hear your
experience for reference.
**[05:46] ---**
Your boyfriend, um...
**[05:48] ---**
Rousokuzawa-kun, right?
**[05:49] ---**
You remembered.
**[05:51] ---**
Just his name.
**[05:52] ---**
For you... When... At what point...
**[05:55] ---**
...did you figure out you liked him?
**[05:58] ---**
That's what I really want to know.
**[06:01] ---**
That's, well...
**[06:04] ---**
...just a feeling.
**[06:06] ---**
Feeling?
**[06:07] ---**
Yup. Fuzzy. Vague.
**[06:09] ---**
That's okay?
**[06:10] ---**
It's okay. It's just like that.
**[06:13] ---**
Then let's put aside
at what point it started.
**[06:16] ---**
Tell me the reasons you like him.
**[06:19] ---**
ROUSOKUZAWA
**[06:20] ---**
Why'd you start liking Rousokuzawa-kun?
**[06:23] ---**
That's a feeling too.
**[06:25] ---**
But it's really a feeling.
**[06:27] ---**
It's really just a feeling, a feeling, a feeling.
**[06:27] ---**
JUST A FEELING
**[06:31] ---**
I thought, "Maybe I like him."
I felt, "Maybe I like him."
**[06:35] ---**
And I realized.
**[06:36] ---**
Just like that.
**[06:38] ---**
It's more nuanced, no?
**[06:40] ---**
I can come up with
various reasons to like him too.
**[06:44] ---**
Like he's cool, nice, tall, rich...
**[06:51] ---**
Those are all possible reasons,
but they're all lies.
**[06:57] ---**
I guess you can call it pretense to
comprehend the basis of your feelings.
**[07:01] ---**
It's more sophistry than rationalization.
**[07:04] ---**
Depending on that conclusion,
it's like putting up a ladder.
**[07:09] ---**
Ladder...
**[07:10] ---**
Maybe not a ladder, but a rocket?
Yeah, it's like making a rocket.
**[07:16] ---**
If you want to be with them
all the time, that's already love.
**[07:22] ---**
Ah, I see.
**[07:23] ---**
This guy. Myself, one Araragi Koyomi-kun,
**[07:28] ---**
at the young age of 18,
may have finally fallen in love.
**[07:32] ---**
No! You should jump to
the conclusion and not say "may have."
**[07:35] ---**
JUST JUMP TO THE CONCLUSION!
**[07:36] ---**
It's possible!
**[07:37] ---**
IT'S POSSIBLE!
**[07:38] ---**
It's possible...
**[07:38] ---**
IT'S POSSIBLE...
**[07:40] ---**
You're in love! It's decided!
**[07:43] ---**
It's been decided?
**[07:44] ---**
Yup! The plans aren't undecided!
**[07:47] ---**
Big Brother, you like H-san.
I've decided.
**[07:51] ---**
I guess it's inevitable.
**[07:54] ---**
I see.
**[07:55] ---**
I'm over it! Let me thank you.
**[07:58] ---**
THANKFUL
**[07:58] ---**
Thanks, Tsukihi-chan.
**[08:00] ---**
No no no...
It's pretty big, but not that big!
**[08:05] ---**
Well, with all that said, Big Brother...
**[08:08] ---**
People falling in love is as
common as a dog barking.
**[08:13] ---**
So don't think too much about it.
**[08:15] ---**
I see. It's common?
**[08:17] ---**
Yeah, it's normal.
**[08:18] ---**
Having a girl you're interested in class is normal.
**[08:21] ---**
NORMAL
**[08:21] ---**
Normal!
**[08:22] ---**
Looking at her more
than the board is normal.
**[08:25] ---**
NORMAL
**[08:25] ---**
Normal!
**[08:26] ---**
Looking for her on my way to and from home,
hoping to run into her by chance...
**[08:31] ---**
...and imagining things
while buying books...
**[08:34] ---**
NORMAL
**[08:34] ---**
Normal!
**[08:35] ---**
Thinking I want to grab her breasts too...
**[08:37] ---**
No.
**[08:37] ---**
WRONG
**[08:42] ---**
Tsukihi-chan, what are you saying?
**[08:45] ---**
Oh, my viewpoint?
**[08:47] ---**
Maybe you should sit up too.
**[08:49] ---**
Yes, as you say.
**[08:51] ---**
SIT UP
**[08:52] ---**
Well...
**[08:53] ---**
So H-san's chest is uncommonly appealing,
so I think I want to grab it and fondle it, see?
**[08:58] ---**
WANT TO GRAB, WANT TO FONDLE
**[08:59] ---**
That's what I'm saying.
**[09:01] ---**
Sorry to interrupt, Big Brother.
**[09:03] ---**
Would you kindly not use blunt words
like "grab" or "fondle" please?
**[09:09] ---**
I see. Then the only
word I can use is touch.
**[09:12] ---**
It's not blunt anymore
and got cuter, but...
**[09:15] ---**
So in other words!
**[09:17] ---**
In short, I realized that I'm always
thinking about touching H-san's breasts.
**[09:23] ---**
That's love, right?
**[09:24] ---**
No.
**[09:24] ---**
WRONG
**[09:25] ---**
But you wouldn't think you'd want to touch
the breasts of someone you don't like.
**[09:30] ---**
That's why I think
this feeling is love.
**[09:33] ---**
Big Brother, it's a natural emotion
for guys to want to touch girls' breasts.
**[09:39] ---**
So don't worry about that. Gosh.
**[09:43] ---**
Gosh, gosh.
**[09:44] ---**
What?
**[09:45] ---**
We should test it.
**[09:47] ---**
Here, try touching mine.
**[09:48] ---**
IN SILENCE.
WITH NO EXPRESSION.
SNAP JUDGMENT, TOUCH ON THE SPOT.
**[09:49] ---**
5... 4... 3... 2... 1...
**[09:58] ---**
TOUCH INTO CATCH
**[10:00] ---**
That hurts!
**[10:01] ---**
RED SCENE
**[10:02] ---**
I said it hurts!
Let go! Let go! Let go I said!
**[10:07] ---**
Oh gosh! You're touching
your little sister's boobs too much!
**[10:11] ---**
Boob Advisory
Oh gosh! You're touching your little sister's boobs too much!
**[10:11] ---**
More like, what were you really expecting?
**[10:15] ---**
First of all, how did you think it'd
go as you offered your breasts to me?
**[10:20] ---**
Well, I guess I was
joking or just testing.
**[10:24] ---**
I assumed you'd say disinterestedly,
"I have no interest in your breasts."
**[10:30] ---**
And as you expressed
your proper logic...
**[10:34] ---**
...my comeback would be,
"Because it's your sister's breasts, right?"
**[10:38] ---**
That'd be the perfect rally scene.
**[10:41] ---**
So, in conclusion, what do you mean?
**[10:43] ---**
Mean?
**[10:45] ---**
What kind of conclusion
would you derive from this test?
**[10:49] ---**
Well...
**[10:51] ---**
Big Brother.
**[10:52] ---**
Maybe you're frustrated?
**[10:55] ---**
No way!
**[10:56] ---**
You said before...
**[10:58] ---**
"I can't buy naughty books! I can't buy
naughty books! I can't buy naughty books!" Right?
**[11:04] ---**
I didn't say it three times.
**[11:05] ---**
That's backfiring on you! A complete backfire!
**[11:09] ---**
You mistook sexual desire for love...
**[11:12] ---**
...and started an inflation spiral
of frustration from there!
**[11:16] ---**
My goodness! An inflation spiral...
**[11:19] ---**
Are you saying such a 007-like
development is occurring in my brain?
**[11:25] ---**
Yeah, that's why you indiscriminately
touched your sister's breasts.
**[11:29] ---**
I touched them, huh?
Those breasts that are like touch panels...
**[11:33] ---**
Touch panels are flat!
**[11:36] ---**
*I see. Frustration, huh?*
**[11:38] ---**
*Now that she mentions it, I can't disagree.*
**[11:41] ---**
*Actually, I feel that's exactly it.*
**[11:44] ---**
TSUKIHI: "THAT WAS GOOD, RIGHT?"
KOYOMI: "IT WASN'T BAD."
**[11:45] ---**
I see. That's what it was.
**[11:47] ---**
Yeah, close one, Big Brother.
**[11:50] ---**
You almost mistakenly thought
you were in love with a classmate
**[11:54] ---**
just because her breasts were appealing.
**[11:57] ---**
I get it. So this is the real
"Don't get me wrong!" right?
**[12:02] ---**
In this situation,
it's a compelling request from H-san.
**[12:07] ---**
So now that the reason is clear,
next is the counterplan.
**[12:12] ---**
THAT'S RIGHT
**[12:12] ---**
If you ignore frustration,
it'll be a disaster.
**[12:15] ---**
SHOULD WE SAY HE'S LUCKY TO REALIZE
THE TRUTH BEFORE IT WAS TOO LATE
**[12:15] ---**
We have to save H-san
from my evil hands.
**[12:17] ---**
THAT'S RIGHT
**[12:18] ---**
As a makeshift remedy, I'll get relief by grabbing
Karen-chan's boobs or yours when I get the urge.
**[12:24] ---**
Practicing that is off-limits!
**[12:26] ---**
Come on, you Fire Sisters are
fighters for justice, right?
**[12:31] ---**
Gladly sacrifice yourselves for me.
**[12:33] ---**
I think sacrificing you
would be justice.
**[12:37] ---**
Like I'd put up with you
grabbing our boobs to pass the time.
**[12:41] ---**
Then what do I do?
**[12:43] ---**
I guess we have no choice.
**[12:46] ---**
Just buy a naughty book.
**[12:48] ---**
THAT'S THE CONCLUSION
**[12:48] ---**
Due to your oversight...
**[12:50] ---**
...you've been holding back for
a month because of H-san, right?
**[12:55] ---**
I bet you called it
"mind and body cleansing"
**[12:59] ---**
as you gathered, bundled,
and threw out your collection.
**[13:02] ---**
H-How'd you know?
**[13:03] ---**
That has further
increased your frustration.
**[13:07] ---**
So just go buy new naughty
books and solve this problem!
**[13:14] ---**
Strike while the iron's hot, Big Brother!
**[13:17] ---**
The bookstore should be opening soon,
so why don't you go buy it now?
**[13:21] ---**
I'm home!
**[13:23] ---**
Welcome home.
**[13:30] ---**
Huh? What? It's raining outside?
I'm about to go out.
**[13:35] ---**
No, it's not raining. It's a sunny day,
fitting for the first day of Golden Week.
**[13:41] ---**
Huh? Then why
are you soaking wet?
**[13:45] ---**
No, this is sweat.
**[13:48] ---**
That's all sweat?
Are you serious?
**[13:52] ---**
Well, I don't jog that much, so I didn't know
when to quit. It seems my pace is messed up.
**[14:00] ---**
It was pretty long, 42.195 km.
**[14:04] ---**
You ran a full marathon?
**[14:07] ---**
I was celebrating the start of Golden Week,
and my theme was an Olympic-torch runner.
**[14:12] ---**
Olympic-torch runners
don't run 42.195 km!
**[14:16] ---**
I'm exhausted! More like
I'm thirsty. Water! Water!
**[14:25] ---**
Well, I should go take a shower.
**[14:29] ---**
Hey, Karen-chan.
**[14:30] ---**
What is it?
**[14:32] ---**
I want you to tell me something.
**[14:34] ---**
What?
**[14:35] ---**
Finally wanna pursue karate?
**[14:38] ---**
No, what I want you to tell me
isn't some secret technique.
**[14:42] ---**
How do you decide if you've fallen in love
or if you like a certain person or not?
**[14:48] ---**
What? Oh, advice on love?
**[14:52] ---**
When you look at their face
and feel you want to bear their child...
**[14:56] ---**
...doesn't that mean you like them?
**[15:02] ---**
TAXI
**[15:22] ---**
Hey, Araragi-kun!
**[15:24] ---**
Yeah! How are you doing?
**[15:28] ---**
Hey. Yeah, I'm doing good...
**[15:33] ---**
FAIL
**[15:37] ---**
Um...
**[15:41] ---**
Well, Araragi-kun...
**[15:42] ---**
Take this!
**[15:50] ---**
RED SCENE
**[15:57] ---**
Flipping skirts as a high schooler...
What are you thinking, Araragi-kun?
**[16:02] ---**
Hey, Hanekawa.
**[16:04] ---**
I know.
**[16:06] ---**
Here.
**[16:07] ---**
You're kind, Araragi-kun.
**[16:12] ---**
A kind and good person.
**[16:15] ---**
Those are the traits I like about you, Araragi-kun.
**[16:20] ---**
Let's walk a little.
**[16:26] ---**
Araragi-kun, you have little sisters, right?
**[16:30] ---**
Yeah...
**[16:33] ---**
Two sisters I'd rather not have.
**[16:35] ---**
Rather not have?
**[16:36] ---**
Even though I say that,
they're family, so I'm not serious.
**[16:41] ---**
But it is true they hassle me a lot.
**[16:44] ---**
Although I'm sure
I hassle them at times too.
**[16:50] ---**
Meaning it's mutual?
That's good. Like family.
**[16:53] ---**
Family?
**[16:54] ---**
Yeah, family.
**[16:55] ---**
Did I tell you I'm an only child?
**[16:58] ---**
No, I don't think so.
**[17:00] ---**
Well, Araragi-kun, I don't
have such a thing as family.
**[17:06] ---**
Come on, Hanekawa. You've just got
no siblings. "No family" is too much.
**[17:11] ---**
You have a father, mother,
grandfather, grandmother...
**[17:14] ---**
I don't.
**[17:15] ---**
No father, no mother.
I don't have anyone.
**[17:19] ---**
No one.
**[17:24] ---**
The thing is, the second wife of my real
mother's husband is my current mother.
**[17:29] ---**
And her second husband
is my current father.
**[17:34] ---**
In short, both of your current parents
are not your biological parents.
**[17:38] ---**
That's right. I have no blood
relation to the parents I live with.
**[17:46] ---**
Bluntly put, they're complete strangers.
**[17:50] ---**
We're total strangers
with no blood relation.
**[17:53] ---**
I'm sure vampires would
laugh if they heard that.
**[17:58] ---**
It's not funny...
**[18:00] ---**
I used to think you could still be family
even without any blood relation.
**[18:06] ---**
I used to think
I should try hard to get along.
**[18:10] ---**
It's pretty impossible... Seriously.
**[18:14] ---**
Impossible and boring.
**[18:18] ---**
Your face... Who did that?
**[18:21] ---**
Why do you ask that?
**[18:23] ---**
Araragi-kun, why would you ask that?
**[18:26] ---**
Because...
**[18:28] ---**
Because I'm your friend.
**[18:33] ---**
Friend...
**[18:36] ---**
I'm not sure, but aren't friends supposed
to listen to each other in situations like this?
**[18:42] ---**
I see. I guess that's right.
**[18:45] ---**
Promise not to tell anyone?
**[18:47] ---**
Yeah, of course.
**[18:49] ---**
No one. Seriously, not a soul.
Not even your sisters.
**[18:53] ---**
Not even your family.
**[18:55] ---**
I promise.
**[19:01] ---**
My father hit me this morning.
**[19:04] ---**
He hit you? That's...
**[19:06] ---**
But think about it, Araragi-kun.
**[19:10] ---**
If you were in your 40s and some 17-year-old
child rambled on like they knew everything...
**[19:18] ---**
...wouldn't you get angry and lose it?
Wouldn't that be unavoidable?
**[19:25] ---**
*What's with this masochistic wording?*
**[19:30] ---**
*A parent that's not a parent...
That hits his daughter...*
**[19:34] ---**
*She's trying to protect him?*
**[19:36] ---**
*As a friend, that Hanekawa...*
**[19:41] ---**
AS A FRIEND
**[19:41] ---**
*...simply creeped me out.*
**[19:44] ---**
Abuse is unavoidable? What are
you saying! Are you okay saying that?
**[19:50] ---**
Isn't that unforgivable to you?
**[19:52] ---**
Who cares?
**[19:53] ---**
If it's once.
**[19:56] ---**
Araragi-kun, you promised.
**[19:59] ---**
Araragi-kun, you promised.
**[20:02] ---**
You promised me
that you wouldn't tell anyone.
**[20:06] ---**
B-But that promise...
That's not a promise I can keep...
**[20:11] ---**
Please, Araragi-kun!
**[20:13] ---**
Please don't tell anyone about this!
**[20:16] ---**
Hanekawa...
**[20:18] ---**
But I...
**[20:20] ---**
Please don't tell anyone about this.
If you keep quiet, I'll do anything!
**[20:25] ---**
Seriously?
**[20:26] ---**
You'll do anything for me? Yes!
**[20:29] ---**
A-Araragi-kun?
**[20:30] ---**
What to do!
**[20:32] ---**
What should I get her to do?
**[20:34] ---**
What would be best?
**[20:37] ---**
No!
**[20:38] ---**
Wait! Don't panic!
**[20:40] ---**
Don't get carried away!
Stay cool at times like this. Stay dignified!
**[20:45] ---**
Use this unprecedented
chance to its fullest!
**[20:48] ---**
Wh-What? That's your reaction?
This is that type of scene?
**[20:52] ---**
It's not the type of scene where
you're moved by my sincerity
**[20:56] ---**
and promise silence on the matter?
**[20:59] ---**
Sincerity? What's that? Don't care!
**[21:01] ---**
"TSUBASA-SENSEI WILL GRANT ARARAGI-KUN
WHATEVER WISH HE REQUESTS"
**[21:01] ---**
Anything, huh?
**[21:02] ---**
WHO'S TSUBASA-SENSEI?
**[21:03] ---**
But when I'm asked, I can't decide.
**[21:05] ---**
WHILE LOOKING UP PATTERNS ON LINES FOR
HANEKAWA TO SAY IF SHE WAS PLAYING THE ROLE
OF A FEMALE TEACHER, IT JUST SLIPPED OUT
**[21:06] ---**
Damn! My indecisiveness torments me.
**[21:09] ---**
If I could make snap decisions at
times like this, I'd be the alpha male.
**[21:14] ---**
No. You'd be the lowest of males.
**[21:17] ---**
Hey, Araragi-kun, do you remember the content
of the dark, serious conversation from before?
**[21:23] ---**
I don't.
**[21:24] ---**
You don't, huh?
**[21:25] ---**
Who's Araragi?
**[21:26] ---**
You forgot your own name.
**[21:29] ---**
Do anything, huh?
**[21:31] ---**
But seriously,
what should I have her do?
**[21:34] ---**
There are too many options.
I can't decide!
**[21:38] ---**
No! This is actually a short essay!
I need to make a composition!
**[21:44] ---**
Wait!
**[21:45] ---**
Speaking of which, you didn't limit
the number of wishes to be granted!
**[21:50] ---**
In other words, depending on
how I take what she said,
**[21:54] ---**
that means she'll grant me
infinite wishes!
**[21:56] ---**
Just one!
**[21:58] ---**
I'll do one thing you ask of me.
**[22:01] ---**
Damn! I made her clarify it.
**[22:03] ---**
I feel a migraine coming on.
**[22:06] ---**
For now, let's go
somewhere private, Hanekawa.
**[22:11] ---**
Okay, I understand.
**[22:14] ---**
It's not like I have
anywhere else to be.
**[22:17] ---**
*I brought Hanekawa to a nearby thicket.*
**[22:19] ---**
*I brought Hanekawa to a nearby thicket.*
**[22:21] ---**
*I brought Hanekawa to a nearby thicket.*
**[22:24] ---**
What is it, Araragi-kun?
You're keeping me hanging.
**[22:27] ---**
Or are you not coming up with anything?
**[22:30] ---**
Or do you want to stare at me as if
you're licking my whole body. Is that it?
**[22:35] ---**
Like ogling?
**[22:37] ---**
Hanekawa.
**[22:38] ---**
What?
**[22:39] ---**
I don't want to stare at you
as if I'm licking your whole body.
**[22:44] ---**
I...
**[22:46] ---**
That wound under your
gauze from getting hit...
**[22:50] ---**
...I want to lick it.
**[23:11] ---**
Even so, we may laugh sensibly
**[23:11] ---**
Sore demo bokutachi wa shimeshi awaseta youni
**[23:17] ---**
as if we planned in advance
**[23:17] ---**
Monowakari yoku warau darou
**[23:22] ---**
replacing our sighs with deep breaths,
**[23:22] ---**
Tameiki wa sonomama shinkokyuu ni kaete
**[23:27] ---**
without making excuse
for any awkwardness
**[23:27] ---**
Tsutanasa no iiwake mo sezu ni
**[23:33] ---**
I will keep on waiting
until you wish for something
**[23:33] ---**
Kimi ga nozomu koto wo zutto matte iruyo
**[23:43] ---**
If I said it’s not too late,
do I sound like I’m lying?
**[23:43] ---**
Mada maniau to ieba uso ni naruno kana
**[23:54] ---**
It’s not that I want to be saved
**[23:54] ---**
Sukuware tai wake ja nai
**[23:56] ---**
It’s not that I want to be rewarded
**[23:56] ---**
Mukuware tai wake ja nai
**[23:59] ---**
All I want is to scream, broken as I am
**[23:59] ---**
Koware souni tada sakebitai dake
**[24:05] ---**
That’s what I am always praying for
**[24:05] ---**
Itsu datte negatterunda
**[24:07] ---**
Bittersweet interference
**[24:07] ---**
Horo nigai INTERFERENCE
**[24:10] ---**
A daydream which vanishes
on the borderline when touched
**[24:10] ---**
Kyoukaisenjou de fureta kieru DAYDREAM
**[24:24] ---**
*My blood and saliva
heals wounds due to*
**[24:28] ---**
*some aftereffects from
when I was a vampire.*
**[24:30] ---**
*As a side note...*
**[24:32] ---**
*...chicken that I am, I didn't actually
have the courage to lick her face...*
**[24:37] ---**
*...so my wholesome act was to prick
my finger with the safety pin on her bag...*
**[24:43] ---**
*...and rub some blood on her.*
**[24:45] ---**
Thanks.
**[24:47] ---**
Keep the gauze on.
Wounds don't normally heal this fast.
**[24:51] ---**
Will my parents be suspicious?
**[24:55] ---**
They won't.
**[24:57] ---**
They're not like that.
**[24:59] ---**
Even if I chopped my hair off,
they wouldn't notice.
**[25:04] ---**
They most likely don't
even remember my face.
**[25:11] ---**
Oh, Big Brother, you're back early.
**[25:16] ---**
Hey, don't ignore me. At least
tell your cute little sister, "I'm home."
**[25:21] ---**
You finish your shopping?
**[25:23] ---**
Shopping?
**[25:25] ---**
No, shopping...
**[25:27] ---**
*...I didn't do any.*
**[25:29] ---**
*Far from releasing my frustration,
a glum feeling just keeps growing.*
**[25:35] ---**
*The feeling of desire is heavy...*
**[25:38] ---**
*It just builds up.*
**[25:43] ---**
Time for a preview hallucination.
**[25:45] ---**
There is a creature
called a "water bear."
**[25:47] ---**
Instead of sleeping in the winter, they go into
"cold sleep" and are considered to be immortal.
**[25:52] ---**
In other words, "cryptobiosis."
**[25:55] ---**
They can survive in the most
extreme of environments,
**[25:58] ---**
but their weakness is that
they'd die easily if they are crushed.
**[26:01] ---**
Gee, are you a vampire or what?
**[26:04] ---**
Next episode, "Tsubasa Family, Part 2."
**[26:07] ---**
All creatures are one big family.