E8 - Goodbye, Old Deer! Hello, New Deer!

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    This is a work of fiction. The names of the people, places, and organizations
    are fictitious and in no way related to any real person or entity.
[00:01] Narrator
    December 31st.
[00:03] Narrator
    The time is right before midnight.
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    < Shikanoko-san
SIGN    Let's meet at the bottom of the
    stairs at 11:30 PM. Don't be late.
SIGN    Read
    20:13
SIGN    Roger
SIGN    Today
[00:10] Koshitan
    Man, Shikanoko's late.
SIGN    I'm here
SIGN    Where are you right now?
SIGN    Hello?
SIGN    Shikagami Shrine
[00:13] Koshitan
    She's got some nerve inviting me to the first
    shrine visit of the year and making me wait.
[00:20] Anko
    To think that we get to start off the year
    by swearing our love for each other...
[00:24] Bashame
    It's going to be a good year.
[00:26] Koshitan
    I'm not swearing anything with you.
[00:30] Koshitan
    Well, whatever. I guess the three
    of us can go pay our respects.
[00:39] Shrine Visitor A
    It's almost time for the unveiling!
[00:41] Shrine Visitor A
    I can hardly wait!
[00:43] Shrine Visitor B
    This only happens once a year, after all!
[00:44] Koshitan
    I wonder if there's some kind of event.
[00:47] Shrine visitor D
    Hey! There're the shrine maidens!
[01:09] Koshitan
    Shikanoko?!
[01:11] Narrator
    Their first shrine visit of the year,
    and Nokotan's already become a god.
SIGN    Goodbye, Old Deer! Hello, New Deer!
[02:51] Koshitan
    Wait, wha—
[02:52] Koshitan
    Shikanoko? The hell are you doing?
[02:54] Bashame
    Ah, so that's the great Deer God.
[02:57] Bashame
    This is Bashame's first time seeing her.
[02:59] Anko
    Those are some magnificent antlers.
[03:00] Koshitan
    Shikanoko?! A god?!
[03:02] Koshitan
    Also, get a clue, you two!
[03:04] Mitsu
    Is this your first time at this shrine, lass?
[03:08] Koshitan
    Huh? Uh, yes.
[03:10] Koshitan
    Hey! You're that one old lady that's,
    like, a hardcore deer fan!
[03:14] Mitsu
    I am known as the Old Granny of Hino.
    My name is Inukai Mitsu.
SIGN    Inukai Mitsu (88)
[03:18] Mitsu
    I'm the head priest of this shrine.
[03:20] Koshitan
    A proper self-intro! She's definitely
    eyeing a regular cast position!
[03:23] Mitsu
    She's the god of this Shikagami Shrine
[03:27] Mitsu
    and the symbol of deer prosperity here in Hino.
[03:30] Koshitan
    "Symbol"?
[03:31] Koshitan
    And what's the point of wishing
    for the prosperity of deer in Hino?!
[03:35] Koshitan
    C-Come on. She's clearly
    just a plain ol' deer.
[03:39] Koshitan
    Her, a god? Clearly, there's
    been some kind of mista—
[03:42] Mitsu
    Silence, boy! I mean, girl!
[03:47] Mitsu
    Just go see for yourself.
[03:50] Koshitan
    H-Hey, Shikanoko-san!
    What are you doing there?
[03:54] Koshitan
    Hurry up and come down here!
[03:57] Koshitan
    And quit it with that enlightened look!
[03:59] Koshitan
    Just hurry up and come down here!
[04:02] Nokotan
    One is not "Shikanoko."
[04:05] Nokotan
    One is a deer.
[04:06] Koshitan
    Same difference!
[04:07] Koshitan
    And shouldn't you have said "the Deer God"?!
[04:11] Shrine Visitor A
    Oh, such blessed words!
[04:13] Shrine Visitor B
    Hino will be protected by the
    Deer God for another year!
[04:16] Shrine Visitor E
    We're starting off the
    new year with great luck!
[04:19] Koshitan
    You guys are totally getting duped!
[04:21] Bashame
    May Bashame get her rice paddy this year!
[04:23] Anko
    May I be able to do all kinds of naughty
    things with my sister this year!
[04:27] Koshitan
    Not you two, too!
[04:29] Koshitan
    Damn it. What's with this shrine?
[04:32] Koshitan
    Not only is the god messed up,
    so are all the visitors!
[04:37] Mitsu
    It appears as though you also enjoyed
    our great Deer God's unveiling.
[04:42] Koshitan
    What in the world gave you that idea?
[04:45] Mitsu
    Why don't you take one of our fortune slips?
[04:48] Koshitan
    Fortune slips?
[04:50] Mitsu
    Our Shikagami Shrine fortunes
    are famous for their accuracy.
[04:55] Koshitan
    Huh... Well, if you insist.
[04:59] Koshitan
    I might as well draw a great blessing
    or something else good.
[05:02] Koshitan
    There!
[05:04] Koshitan
    Ooh, I got a...
SIGN    Shikagami Shrine Fortune
SIGN    Your
    Luck:
SIGN    GREAT ANTLER
[05:07] Koshitan
    My luck will be what now?!
SIGN     Right Antler
[05:09] Koshitan
    You mean I'm going to find my antler?! Even
    though I don't remember ever losing one?!
SIGN     A deer
[05:13] Koshitan
    I'm only seeing deer and
    antlers on this damn fortune!
SIGN    will appear in 3 minutes
[05:18] Koshitan
    It's also so unnecessarily detailed!
[05:19] Shrine Visitor F
    I hope I pull a great antler this year.
[05:22] Shrine Visitor G
    I'll be content if I get
    an eventual antler or better.
[05:25] Koshitan
    So I'm supposed to treat
    this as a great blessing?
[05:28] Tanuki
    A-A-A-A-A small antler!
[05:30] Tsubame
    Get a grip, Kinu.
[05:32] Neko
    Ugh, you're so pathetic.
    It's just a simple fortune.
[05:36] Koshitan
    Oh, hey. You guys are here, too?
[05:39] Tsubame
    President. Happy New Year.
[05:41] Tanuki
    I-I'm so sorry that you had
    to see my disgusting, unlucky,
[05:45] Tanuki
    and unwanted face first thing this year!
[05:47] Neko
    I-I'm not here to make a new year's resolution
[05:50] Neko
    to finally do something about
    the Deer Club or anything.
SIGN    GREAT
    MIS-FAWN-TUNE
SIGN    Fortune
[05:57] Neko
    I need to get rid of this immediately!
[06:04] Tsubame
    Are you all right, Vice President?
[06:06] Tanuki
    P-P-Please don't cry!
[06:08] Tanuki
    Ouchies, ouchies, fly away!
[06:11] Neko
    Are you mocking me just because I'm small?!
[06:14] Tanuki
    N-N-No, I didn't mean it like that...
[06:16] Tsubame
    Now, now. Let's go tie up our fortunes.
[06:22] Koshitan
    She's so cute...
[06:24] Koshitan
    Hm? I smell something sweet.
[06:27] Nokotan
    Child of man.
[06:30] Nokotan
    One shall bestow a serving unto you.
[06:32] Nokotan
    Come closer.
SIGN    Reset
SIGN    Start
SIGN    
    A deer will appear in 3 minutes
[06:34] Koshitan
    Exactly three minutes!
    It actually predicted the future!
[06:37] Koshitan
    Shikanoko, you ass! You've got some
    nerve breaking your promise with me.
[06:43] Koshitan
    You handin' out amazake
    after playing god? Huh?
[06:47] Nokotan
    Nay.
[06:48] Nokotan
    This is antler soup.
[06:50] Koshitan
    The hell is antler soup?
[06:52] Nokotan
    Soup of antler.
[06:54] Koshitan
    You didn't explain a damn thing!
    There's no way I'm drinking that stuff!
[06:57] Koshitan
    Also seriously, what's with that face?!
[06:59] Mitsu
    Eenie, meenie, miney, doe!
[07:03] Mitsu
    Eenie, meenie, miney, doe!
[07:04] Narrator
    Antler soup is a soup bestowed
    upon us humans by the Deer God
[07:07] Mitsu
    Eenie, meenie, miney, doe!
[07:09] Narrator
    every year at New Year's.
[07:11] Koshitan
    That sounds shady as hell!
[07:12] Narrator
    The Deer God herself becomes the stock
    and doesn't sleep for three days
[07:16] Narrator
    and three nights as this
    extremely blessed drink
[07:18] Narrator
    is created in the cellar of this shrine.
[07:21] Koshitan
    What does any of that even mean?!
[07:22] Koshitan
    So it's created by literally stewing her?!
[07:24] Koshitan
    Like hell I'm gonna drink that!
[07:28] Koshitan
    Huh?
[07:29] Mitsu
    O Great Deer God, it is almost time.
[07:33] Koshitan
    Time?
[07:37] Mitsu
    Eenie, meenie, miney, doe!
[07:41] Mitsu
    Eenie, meenie, miney, doe!
[07:45] Mitsu
    Eenie, meenie, miney, doe!
[07:45] Koshitan
    The hell is this bizarre ritual?
[07:47] Koshitan
    Also, aren't you supposed to burn
[07:49] Mitsu
    Eenie, meenie, miney, doe!
[07:49] Koshitan
    last year's ceremonial arrows
    in these ceremonial fires?
[07:51] Koshitan
    Why the hell are you burning antlers?!
[07:53] Mitsu
    Eenie, meenie, miney, doe!
[07:53] Shrine visitor G
    They're going all out for
    this year's ceremonial fire.
[07:56] Koshitan
    You're telling me they do this every year?
[07:57] Mitsu
    Eenie, meenie, miney, doe!
[07:58] Shrine visitor F
    I think we're going to
    be extra lucky this year.
[08:00] Koshitan
    Yeah, no!
[08:01] Bashame
    May we have huge harvests
    and a year of full harvests!
[08:04] Anko
    Bring on the debauchery! All the debauchery!
[08:06] Koshitan
    Seriously, you guys...
[08:09] Mitsu
    Eenie, meenie, miney, doe!
[08:12] Koshitan
    What's with the wind?!
[08:13] Shrine Visitor F
    Hey! Look!
[08:14] Shrine Visitor B
    The Deer God started shining!
[08:17] Koshitan
    Why, though?!
[08:18] Mitsu
    Eenie, meenie, miney, doe!
[08:21] Mitsu
    Eenie, meenie, miney, doe!
[08:25] Mitsu
    Eenie, meenie, miney, doe!
[08:35] Nokotan
    Notsu...
[08:43] Visitors
    Oh, blessed be! Blessed be!
[08:46] Koshitan
    Who, what, where, how, why?!
[08:50] Anko
    That was pretty fun.
[08:52] Bashame
    It feels like this is going to be a
    good year. Right, Koshitan-senpai?
[08:57] Koshitan
    Ugh, the new year only just started,
    and I'm already friggin' exhausted.
[09:00] Koshitan
    I'm heading right home and warming up.
[09:03] Nokotan
    Oh, hey! Koshitan!
[09:05] Nokotan
    Sorry to keep you waiting!
[09:08] Bashame
    Ah, Nokotan-senpai.
[09:10] Koshitan
    You jerk! Not only do you make me wait,
[09:13] Koshitan
    you go and pull that Deer God act
    with the ceremonial fires and stuff!
[09:16] Koshitan
    I'm heading home, damn it!
[09:18] Nokotan
    What do you mean?
[09:19] Nokotan
    I just got here.
[09:21] Koshitan
    What?!
[09:22] Nokotan
    But I'm really sorry if I made you wait.
    You must've been really cold.
[09:26] Nokotan
    Here, drink some of this and warm up.
[09:29] Koshitan
    Huh? Uh, sure...
[09:31] Nokotan
    I have some for you two, too.
[09:33] Bashame
    Wow, that's delicious!
[09:35] Anko
    That hit the spot.
[09:38] Koshitan
    Yum... I've never had
    this before. What is it?
[09:43] Nokotan
    Antler soup.
[09:43] Koshitan
    So it was you up there!
SIGN    I'll make sure the
    Deer Club makes its mark!
    -Koshi Torako
SIGN    I'm gonna become
    Hino's local mascot!!
    -Nokotan
SIGN    I'm gonna do naughty
    things with my sister
    -Koshi Anko
SIGN    Bashame will become a
    great deer and eat rice
    -Bashame
[09:49] Koshitan
    After that, we all did our
    first shrine visit together.
SIGN    Kanagawa Prefecture
     Oyama Afuri Shrine
SIGN    Kanagawa Prefecture
     Oyama Afuri Shrine
[10:00] Nokotan
    Happy New Year to you all.
[10:03] Koshitan
    And here we go with this
    indigenous god thing.
SIGN    Happy New Deer
[10:07] Nokotan
    We hope that you'll continue to support 
    My Deer Friend Nokotan this year, too.
[10:13] Koshitan
    Th-Thanks...
[10:15] Nokotan
    With that, here.
[10:16] Koshitan
    Here what?
[10:18] Nokotan
    Gimme New Year's money.
[10:20] Koshitan
    If you're a god, don't pester me for money!
[10:24] Nokotan
    I think that's enough New Year's jokes.
[10:34] Nokotan
    Okay, let's get the actual show started!
SIGN    Happy New Deer
[10:37] Koshitan
    The hell was up with that
    rando New Year's greeting?
SIGN    Deer Crackers
[10:45] Nokotan
    Well? Are you all ready?
[10:49] Narrator
    One of the traditions for New Year's
    is playing a board game.
[10:53] Narrator
    There are countless games that span
    across all ages and many places,
[10:56] Narrator
    but did you know that one particular
    game is the most popular?
[11:02] Narrator
    Its groundbreaking setup caused a huge
    sensation when it was first released.
[11:07] Narrator
    Yes, it's the game you're all familiar with:
SIGN    Game of Deer Life
    Deluxe
[11:10] Narrator
    the Game of Deer Life.
[11:13] Koshitan
    I'm not gonna go easy on ya
    just cuz this is a board game.
[11:16] Koshitan
    I'll show you exactly what
    it means to compete with me!
SIGN    The Beast of Hino
    Roars Into the Fight!!
SIGN    An
[11:25] Anko
    Since we're competing, this means
    we're wagering something, too, right?
[11:29] Anko
    Your livelihood, your chastity, your life...
[11:31] Anko
    Ooh, I'm getting excited!
SIGN    The Out-of-Control Siscon
    Creeps In!!
[11:36] Nokotan
    Pitiful!
[11:37] Nokotan
    You humans just keep yapping.
[11:41] Nokotan
    I'll show you what a true deer...
[11:43] Nokotan
    can do.
SIGN    An Actual Deer
    Leaps Into the Fray!!
[11:47] Narrator
    The First-Ever Chitty Chitty Hino High School
    Deer Club Game of Deer Life Tournament!
[11:51] Narrator
    Let the games begin!
[11:54] Bashame
    Start!
[11:56] Anko
    Okay, I'll go first.
[11:58] Anko
    Go!
SIGN    Start
SIGN    Born in the Hino Zoo!
[12:02] Anko
    I guess I'm moving four spaces.
[12:04] Anko
    One, two, three, four.
[12:07] Anko
    Huh? What's going on?
[12:09] Ukai
    Ah, a newborn deer!
[12:12] Ukai
    Here, to celebrate!
[12:15] Narrator
    Become friends with the zookeeper.
    Receive three stacks of deer crackers.
[12:19] Narrator
    The currency in the Game of Deer Life
    is not money but deer crackers.
[12:23] Narrator
    The one with the most deer crackers
    at the end of the game wins.
[12:27] Anko
    Hey, this is a great start.
[12:29] Nokotan
    No fair.
[12:30] Narrator
    Now, it's Koshitan's turn.
[12:32] Koshitan
    All right! I'm up next!
[12:36] Koshitan
    Ooh, a nine!
[12:37] Koshitan
    I'm gonna keep on truckin'
    and get to the goal!
[12:41] Koshitan
    Hm?
[12:42] Senpai Deer A
    Aren't you being a bit cocky
    just because you're younger?
[12:45] Senpai Deer B
    Whose turf do you think you're on? Huh?
[12:47] Senpai Deer C
    Don't think you can stay here for free!
[12:50] Koshitan
    Huh?
[12:52] Narrator
    Tormented by senpai deer and shaken down
    for deer crackers. Hand over thirty.
[12:57] Senpai Deer A
    Give us all you've got!
[12:59] Koshitan
    Isn't this a bit harsh right off the bat?!
[13:02] Koshitan
    Also, I don't even have any
    deer crackers to give yet.
[13:05] Mitsu
    Over here, lassie.
[13:07] Koshitan
    Huh?
SIGN    Deer Crackers
SIGN    Interest
    50%
[13:09] Mitsu
    Come on.
SIGN    Interest
    50%
SIGN    Deer Crackers
SIGN    Deer Crackers
[13:11] Mitsu
    Pleasure doin' business with ya.
[13:14] Narrator
    When you don't have enough deer crackers,
    the zoo will lend you some.
[13:17] Narrator
    The interest rate is 50%!
[13:19] Koshitan
    The zoo and these senpai deer
    are totally working together...
[13:23] Anko
    I guess survival of the fittest
    applies to herbivores, too.
[13:28] Nokotan
    You just don't get it, Koshitan.
[13:30] Koshitan
    Wha?
[13:31] Nokotan
    The key to the Game of Deer Life
    isn't how fast you can reach the goal
[13:34] Nokotan
    but how many deer crackers you can amass!
[13:37] Nokotan
    Therefore, even if it takes longer,
[13:39] Nokotan
    you've gotta aim for the spaces
    that'll give you more deer crackers!
[13:44] Narrator
    Nokotan's turn.
[13:45] Narrator
    She's escaped the zoo, wandered
    into the neighborhood, and...
[13:50] Narrator
    ended up hanging off some electrical lines.
[13:53] Narrator
    Lose one turn.
[13:55] Koshitan
    Déjà vu!
[13:56] Narrator
    Also, while she was hanging there,
[13:58] Narrator
    she was attacked by vultures and hyenas,
    losing fifty deer crackers.
[14:02] Nokotan
    Doe no!
[14:03] Koshitan
    Sometimes, this is harsher than reality.
[14:06] Narrator
    It's once again Anko's turn.
[14:08] Anko
    One, two, three.
[14:11] Anko
    Okay, now...
[14:15] Nokotan
    Don't be afraid. Now, jump into my arms!
[14:18] Koshitan
    Oh, but I'm a virgin...
[14:23] Narrator
    A deer you've had feelings for 
    mates with another female deer.
SIGN    °Visuals may differ from actual events
[14:27] Narrator
    The shock leaves you bedridden. Lose one turn.
[14:29] Anko
    Oh, my.
[14:30] Koshitan
    Hey! This depiction's pretty malicious!
[14:33] Nokotan
    This actually happened
    at my workplace recently.
[14:37] Koshitan
    Wait, really? Do you work in a soap opera?
[14:39] Anko
    I guess deer have a lot going on, too.
[14:43] Anko
    But if the shock from that leaves them bedridden,
    I'd say their love just isn't enough.
[14:47] Nokotan
    What do you mean?
[14:48] Anko
    If it were me, I'd whip, whip them
    over and over, then slap, slap them,
[14:52] Anko
    squish, squish them, and in the end,
    I'd mlem, mlem them...
[14:55] Koshitan
    I'm just going to pretend
    I never heard that, okay?
[14:58] Narrator
    It's now Koshitan's turn.
[15:00] Koshitan
    Okay, next is...
[15:01] Narrator
    A sudden growth spurt!
[15:03] Narrator
    Spin the roulette, and gain antlers
    equal to the number you roll!
[15:06] Koshitan
    Where am I gaining them?!
[15:10] Koshitan
    The highest number now, of all times!
[15:13] Narrator
    In celebration, also receive the same number
    of deer crackers from each player.
[15:18] Koshitan
    I mean, I'm thankful for that, but...
[15:27] Koshitan
    I look like I've been riddled with arrows...
[15:30] Anko
    Here're your deer crackers.
[15:32] Koshitan
    Are you celebrating or commiserating?
[15:34] Narrator
    It's now Nokotan's turn.
[15:37] Narrator
    Lose one turn.
[15:40] Bashame
    The rice is looking great!
[15:43] Narrator
    And the game proceeded onward.
[15:48] Koshitan
    Deer life decisions?
SIGN    Intense Course
SIGN    Intense Course
SIGN    Stable Course
SIGN    Stable Course
SIGN    Stop!
    Deer Life Decisions
[15:52] Narrator
    You're on your own after leaving the zoo!
[15:54] Narrator
    As the harsh waves of society crash over you,
    you'll hold on for deer life
[15:57] Narrator
    in the Intense course.
[16:00] Narrator
    Alternatively, you can stay at the zoo,
    passing up any great changes or promotions
[16:03] Narrator
    in exchange for a safe and predictable life
    on the Stable course.
[16:08] Narrator
    Which will you choose?
SIGN    Intense
SIGN    Stable
[16:11] Koshitan
    This is just life.
[16:12] Nokotan
    By the way, if you select the Intense course,
[16:14] Nokotan
    you get to choose from the
    mountains, sea, or city.
[16:18] Anko
    Hm...
[16:19] Anko
    Then I guess I'll choose the Intense course
    of deer life and head to the mountains.
[16:23] Anko
    I'll conquer the mountains and shake down
    all the deer there for their deer crackers.
[16:28] Koshitan
    I think you might be more cut out
    to be a delinquent than I am.
[16:31] Koshitan
    In that case, I guess
    I'll head into the city!
[16:34] Koshitan
    I'll gradually climb the ranks of my career!
[16:37] Koshitan
    What about you, Shikanoko?
[16:38] Nokotan
    Someone is calling for me in a faraway land.
[16:41] Nokotan
    I can feel it.
[16:43] Koshitan
    So the sea.
[16:43] Anko
    Yup, the sea.
[16:50] Nokotan
    The dawn in Hino City draws near!
[17:03] Narrator
    Nokotan crossed the sea...
[17:06] Narrator
    and washed ashore in Alaska.
[17:09] Koshitan
    Why Alaska, though?!
[17:14] Narrator
    Oh? Something strange
    is happening to Nokotan.
[17:20] Narrator
    Congratulations!
    Nokotan has evolved into a moose.
SIGN    Current total number
    of deer crackers: 100
[17:24] Koshitan
    How does any of that work?!
[17:26] Nokotan
    This is definitely an intense deer life.
[17:29] Koshitan
    She's actually evolved in real life!
[17:32] Nokotan
    Now that I've evolved into the highest
    class of deer, the moose, that means...
[17:36] Nokotan
    I get bonus deer cra—
[17:38] Narrator
    You don't actually get anything.
[17:40] Anko
    Aw, I guess you're not so special,
    even if you are an actual deer.
[17:43] Nokotan
    How dare you?! Then what about you, Koshian?
[17:48] Narrator
    She gradually took over the mountain and
    made all the animals her subordinates.
[17:52] Narrator
    She calls it a tip, but she makes them
    all pay her ten deer crackers a day.
[17:57] Anko
    Those who defy me will get
    what's coming to them.
SIGN    Current total number
    of deer crackers: 103,000
[18:00] Koshitan
    Ruling by fear?!
[18:02] Anko
    I get all the deer crackers I want to eat.
[18:04] Nokotan
    No fair!
[18:05] Koshitan
    Heh. You've still got a
    long ways to go, Anko.
[18:07] Anko
    What do you mean by that?
[18:13] Camera guy
    Look this way, please!
[18:15] Koshitan
    Sure!
SIGN    Bronze @bronze_dolota
    One in a hundred million deer shot
    #NaraPark
[18:19] Camera guy
    Just like that! Nice! Very good!
SIGN    Matsu @take_nara_1980
    A miraculous beauty deer born from Hino
SIGN    Noah. @noah22
    She's too beautiful...!
[18:28] Narrator
    After a famous photographer's pics of her
    go viral, she becomes a Nara Park idol.
[18:32] Narrator
    Due to her ever-increasing audience, Koshitan
    collects 100 deer crackers per space moved.
[18:38] Koshitan
    Your pocket change ain't got nothin' on me!
SIGN    Current total number of
    deer crackers: 30,000,000
[18:43] Koshitan
    I'm gonna wring all those tourists dry
    and quit while I'm ahead!
[18:50] Nokotan
    I didn't expect a former delinquent
    like you would be into idols.
[18:54] Anko
    My sister's pretty interested in
    girly things, despite how she looks.
[18:57] Koshitan
    Shut your mouths!
[18:58] Koshitan
    This is just a game!
[19:00] Narrator
    Koshitan didn't actually hate this.
[19:05] Narrator
    It's now Nokotan's turn.
[19:10] Nokotan
    Ah, so it's my turn.
[19:12] Koshitan
    You seem like a completely
    different character...
[19:14] Narrator
    Some trouble ahead!
[19:17] Narrator
    An incredibly violent grizzly has appeared.
[19:19] Narrator
    Nokotan's life is on the line!
[19:23] Nokotan
    I guess the reason I grew these
    antlers was for this day.
[19:45] Nokotan
    With this, Alaska—
[19:46] Nokotan
    no, America has finally attained freedom.
[19:50] Koshitan
    The hell happened to you, Grizzly?!
[19:52] Narrator
    As a token of thanks, the American president,
    the American citizens,
[19:57] Narrator
    and the animals living in America
    give you 50 million deer crackers.
[20:01] Nokotan
    May the antlers be with you.
[20:04] Koshitan
    Dude, your antlers are way too OP!
[20:06] Bashame
    Rolly, rolly them all round.
[20:09] Narrator
    And the game continued to advance.
[20:12] Koshitan
    Guess you guys needed another hundred
    years if you actually wanted to beat me!
[20:17] Koshitan
    While you two were dawdling,
    I've been raking in 200 billion a year.
[20:21] Koshitan
    I evolved into a super-elite idol deer, and
    my total assets equal over 1,600,000,000!
[20:28] Nokotan
    When'd she manage that?
[20:29] Anko
    Well done, Onee-chan.
[20:31] Koshitan
    Now I'm gonna run straight for the goal!
[20:34] Koshitan
    Hello! We're doing a photoshoot
    for my new photobook, right?
[20:39] Tanuki
    I-I-I'm so sorry! I promise
    I don't know anything!
[20:45] Tsubame
    Um, so I heard that...
[20:48] Tsubame
    Koshi-san...
[20:49] Tsubame
    You're not actually a deer.
SIGN    The Shocking Scoop
SIGN    Popular Idol Deer
    Falsified Her Past?!
[20:55] Koshitan
    Wait, what the hell is this?!
[20:56] Neko
    A scandal comes to light!
[20:58] Neko
    The popular idol wasn't actually
    a deer! She was a capybara!
[21:03] Koshitan
    There's no way in hell!
[21:05] Narrator
    You end up having to pay
    a fortune in reparations!
[21:07] Narrator
    You lose your life savings.
[21:08] Koshitan
    Huh?
[21:11] Koshitan
    Ugh! I lost!
SIGN    Last Place: 0 crackers
SIGN    1st Place: 62 million crackers
SIGN    2nd Place: 58 million crackers
[21:14] Nokotan
    Yay, I won!
[21:16] Koshitan
    That last space! If only that
    last space didn't exist!
[21:19] Anko
    I guess I just couldn't beat America.
[21:22] Koshitan
    Well, anyway. That was way more
    exciting than I thought it'd be.
[21:25] Koshitan
    And it was pretty fun, too.
[21:29] Koshitan
    Man, I'm starving, though.
[21:31] Nokotan
    I've got some deer crackers.
[21:33] Koshitan
    Yeah, I'm good on those.
[21:34] Anko
    By the way, wasn't Bashame
    making some mochi...
[21:41] Koshitan
    Bashame?!
[21:43] Anko
    Ah... So she ate too many pieces of mochi,
    and now she's choking.
[21:46] Koshitan
    Unconcerned much?!
[21:47] Koshitan
    Hurry up and spit it out, damn it!
[21:49] Bashame
    Thaf's sufh a wafte...
[21:51] Koshitan
    Now's not the time for that!
[21:55] Bashame
    Om, nom, nom...
[21:58] Bashame
    Whew, that was delicious.
[22:01] Nokotan
    Notsu.
[22:02] Koshitan
    Again, your damn antlers are way too OP!