# E2 - Deer Meets Darkness Girl
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GEVUZ7MWK/deer-meets-darkness-girl)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:19] ---**
I made it!
**[01:59] ---**
Deer Meets Darkness Girl
**[02:10] ---**
*Introducing once more,
Koshi Torako, former delinquent.*
**[02:17] ---**
*Covering up her past upon joining high school,
she climbed the ranks as an honor student*
**[02:21] ---**
*and is now president of
the student council, as well as class rep.*
**[02:26] ---**
*However a transfer deer (?) named
Shikanoko Noko revealed her past,*
**[02:31] ---**
*revealed that she was a virgin,*
**[02:33] ---**
*and because she was a total pushover,*
**[02:35] ---**
*she was duped into becoming
the president of the mysterious Deer Club.*
**[02:39] ---**
*And once again, she reluctantly
heads to the club.*
**[02:43] ---**
Yay! It's time for Deer Club!
**[02:45] ---**
*Maybe she doesn't sound reluctant?*
**[02:47] ---**
Well, it's not like I'm actually
looking forward to going to the club.
**[02:51] ---**
*Oh? Then what is it?*
**[02:53] ---**
When I gave the clubhouse
a little makeover this morning,
**[02:57] ---**
it turned out so good!
**[02:59] ---**
But it's not like I'm *super excited*
for club activities today
**[03:04] ---**
or anything like that.
**[03:07] ---**
*Is that so?*
**[03:09] ---**
*It's the president's job to make
the clubhouse a comfortable place.*
**[03:12] ---**
*I can't wait to see how she reacts!*
**[03:15] ---**
You're amazing, Koshitan!
I was wrong about you!
**[03:17] ---**
Of course!
**[03:19] ---**
All that's left is the wallpaper...
Oh! And maybe I'll get a cabinet!
**[03:23] ---**
There's still so much to be done!
**[03:27] ---**
Just you wait! It'll be my own utopia!
***SIGN*** I won't forgive you, Deer
**[03:41] ---**
*And thus, the utopia came to an end.*
**[03:46] ---**
Kumagoro!
**[03:48] ---**
Wh-What is this? My utopia!
**[03:52] ---**
The utopia I spent my life savings on
and four hours of my morning!
**[03:59] ---**
*She woke up at 3 AM.*
**[04:01] ---**
Are you okay, Koshitan?
**[04:04] ---**
It's dangerous there. Come over here.
**[04:07] ---**
You! Did you do this?!
**[04:10] ---**
Did you do this to my utopia?!
**[04:14] ---**
Hm? What are you talking about?
**[04:15] ---**
It was already like this when I got here.
**[04:20] ---**
Also, this room is dangerous.
**[04:23] ---**
What do you mean?
**[04:24] ---**
Someone's trying to kill me today.
**[04:28] ---**
Who? And why?
**[04:30] ---**
I don't know.
**[04:31] ---**
But it's probably the same person
who trashed our room.
**[04:35] ---**
*I fell into a five-meter-deep pitfall
on the way to school,*
**[04:38] ---**
*spears came falling out of the sky,*
**[04:40] ---**
*and there were plastic bottles
filled with water everywhere.*
**[04:43] ---**
How are you still alive?!
Didn't a spear stab you in the head?!
**[04:46] ---**
And water bottles? Not even cats are
scared of those anymore!
**[04:51] ---**
And my antlers totally
got stuck in the door, too!
**[04:54] ---**
You broke it again?!
**[04:56] ---**
Anyway! I'm telling you,
this place is dangerous!
**[04:58] ---**
Now, calm down.
**[05:00] ---**
Just think about it.
There's no way someone's after you.
**[05:03] ---**
You think so?
**[05:04] ---**
Of course.
**[05:05] ---**
Let's just step outside,
get some fresh air and think calmly—
**[05:12] ---**
Hey, how could you step
out of cover so carelessly?
**[05:16] ---**
This is a battlefield!
**[05:17] ---**
Who are you?!
**[05:18] ---**
I thought I taught you that
carelessness will get you killed!
**[05:21] ---**
You never taught me a damn thing!
I was born in the Heisei era of peace!
**[05:25] ---**
But more importantly,
is someone seriously after you?
**[05:28] ---**
Looks like it.
**[05:29] ---**
Man, screw this! I'm leaving!
**[05:31] ---**
What?! You're going to abandon
your teacher and run away?!
**[05:35] ---**
Shut up! Since when am I your student?
**[05:39] ---**
I'm done getting caught up
in all this annoying—
**[05:45] ---**
Koshitan, is your head all right?
**[05:47] ---**
*That's not an insult.*
**[05:48] ---**
Who the hell are you?
**[05:50] ---**
Give me back my utopia!
**[05:54] ---**
*Now she's pissed.*
**[05:55] ---**
You're going down!
**[05:58] ---**
I don't care if you're
a soldier or an assassin.
**[06:01] ---**
Bring it on!
**[06:19] ---**
Crap! Grenade! Get down!
**[06:23] ---**
Deer crackers?!
**[06:26] ---**
Hey! It's a trap!
**[06:29] ---**
Wait, you moron! Wait, wait, wait!
**[06:33] ---**
What, Koshitan?!
**[06:34] ---**
Open your eyes! It's a trap!
It's the trap of all traps!
**[06:38] ---**
What kind of idiot drools
and walks right into a trap?!
**[06:42] ---**
- A trap...
- Shikanoko?
**[06:45] ---**
Long, long ago, a deer was asked,
**[06:48] ---**
"Why do deer eat deer crackers?"
**[06:51] ---**
This is how they answered.
**[06:54] ---**
"Because there are
deer crackers before me!"
**[07:07] ---**
Shikanoko!
**[07:09] ---**
*I'm sorry, Koshitan.*
**[07:11] ---**
*But I love deer crackers
more than anything in this world!*
**[07:19] ---**
Yippee!
**[07:27] ---**
Well, I messed up.
**[07:29] ---**
I told you that this was a trap—
**[07:31] ---**
I lost a little speed at the end
and couldn't reach the deer crackers!
**[07:35] ---**
You're still on that?!
**[07:39] ---**
Hey! You over there trying to get me!
**[07:41] ---**
I know you can hear me!
**[07:43] ---**
My name is Nokotan! Show yourself!
**[07:46] ---**
I accept this fight fair and square!
**[07:49] ---**
Haven't you lost already?
**[07:51] ---**
*The deer's distant cry of defeat.*
**[07:53] ---**
And bring me more deer crackers, please!
**[07:56] ---**
You're asking them for favors?
**[07:58] ---**
You're quite bold for a pest.
**[08:01] ---**
I planned to exterminate you earlier
**[08:04] ---**
but my calculations were all wrong.
**[08:07] ---**
A fight? I'll happily accept.
**[08:09] ---**
I'll send you on your way to hell.
**[08:12] ---**
*This girl...*
**[08:13] ---**
*I've managed to survive countless battles*
**[08:17] ---**
*but she was able to capture me with ease.*
**[08:19] ---**
*She's on another level.*
**[08:20] ---**
Who the hell are you?!
**[08:22] ---**
- Anko?
- Anko?
**[08:24] ---**
What the hell are you doing here?
**[08:28] ---**
Onee-chan!
**[08:31] ---**
I missed you so much!
**[08:33] ---**
You missed me?
You see me at home every day.
**[08:36] ---**
I want to be with you 365 days a year,
24 hours a day, every minute and second!
**[08:42] ---**
I can't get enough of your scent!
**[08:44] ---**
Cut it out, will you?
**[08:46] ---**
And why aren't you at school?
**[08:48] ---**
Even your angry face is so adorable!
I wuv you so much!
**[08:51] ---**
Are you even listening?
**[08:53] ---**
Who's she, Koshitan?
**[08:55] ---**
My bad, this is Koshi Anko.
**[08:58] ---**
My little sister.
**[08:59] ---**
Koshi... Anko... Red bean... paste!
**[09:04] ---**
You're imagining something
delicious, aren't you?
**[09:09] ---**
Don't stare at me like that, you vermin!
**[09:14] ---**
Shikanoko Noko. I cannot forgive you.
**[09:17] ---**
What's your deal with her?
**[09:20] ---**
Wait, did you do all this?
**[09:23] ---**
Yes. It was me.
**[09:26] ---**
Why would you...
**[09:27] ---**
It's all this deer's fault! All of it!
**[09:31] ---**
It's her fault you changed!
**[09:34] ---**
You used to come running home
to me after school.
**[09:39] ---**
To *you*? That's where we live as a family.
**[09:42] ---**
You've been coming home so late...
**[09:44] ---**
I'm always home by seven!
**[09:47] ---**
I followed you because I was curious
about why you were out so late
**[09:50] ---**
and you were alone with
that deer in your "club."
**[09:53] ---**
How obscene!
**[09:54] ---**
What's obscene is your damn way of thinking!
**[09:57] ---**
And you left early again this morning...
**[10:01] ---**
All you think about
is your little deer love nest!
**[10:04] ---**
That comfy couch, those cute rugs?!
Is all of that necessary for a club room?
**[10:09] ---**
Obscene! What were you two
planning on doing in there?!
**[10:12] ---**
W-Well...
**[10:14] ---**
*She wanted to retort, but couldn't admit
that the setup was for herself.*
**[10:17] ---**
You can't answer? Does that mean...
**[10:21] ---**
You slept together?
**[10:23] ---**
Of course not!
**[10:24] ---**
Are you mentally ill?
**[10:26] ---**
And what's with the kunai?!
Are you Iga? Koga? A Hokage?
**[10:30] ---**
Hey, help me out here.
**[10:33] ---**
Koshitan is my girl!
**[10:35] ---**
That's not helping!
**[10:36] ---**
Why are you complicating things?
That's not what's going on here!
**[10:41] ---**
I don't know if you're chunky or smooth,
but I will protect Koshitan!
**[10:44] ---**
You've done it now, you idiot!
**[10:47] ---**
I knew it! You took my
sister's virginity, didn't you?!
**[10:50] ---**
See?! I knew this would happen!
**[10:52] ---**
Do you know how hard I've been
protecting my sister's virginity?!
**[10:57] ---**
I don't remember asking for that.
**[11:00] ---**
I won't forgive you...
**[11:01] ---**
The deer that took my sister from me
**[11:04] ---**
and my sister who crossed
that line with a deer.
**[11:06] ---**
I haven't crossed any lines!
Not even the Chuo Line!
***SIGN*** Setting: Hino City
**[11:09] ---**
I belong by your side.
**[11:12] ---**
Anyone who stands in my way is my enemy.
**[11:15] ---**
That's why I decided to destroy it all.
**[11:19] ---**
Anko...
**[11:20] ---**
I thought that if I destroyed
this ridiculous Deer Club of yours
**[11:23] ---**
and exterminated that vermin,
my sister would come back home to me.
**[11:28] ---**
But I've changed my mind.
**[11:33] ---**
You mentioned something
about fighting fair and square, right?
**[11:36] ---**
That sounds fun. I accept.
**[11:40] ---**
But if I win,
**[11:42] ---**
you'll spend the rest of your life
as a deer at Nara Park.
**[11:46] ---**
Nara?
**[11:48] ---**
If I lose, I will accept the festering
relationship you have with my sister
**[11:52] ---**
and leave you alone.
**[11:54] ---**
You're gonna give people the wrong idea!
**[11:56] ---**
Pull yourself together, Anko.
**[11:59] ---**
This is ridiculous.
There's no point in fighting.
**[12:03] ---**
Why? It was the deer's idea.
**[12:07] ---**
That is true...
**[12:10] ---**
Fine. Let's fight.
**[12:13] ---**
Wait, are you serious?
**[12:15] ---**
If you become a Nara Park deer,
what will happen to the club?
**[12:20] ---**
Don't worry, Koshitan.
**[12:23] ---**
Trust me!
**[12:25] ---**
The Deer Club has a bond
harder than deer crackers!
**[12:29] ---**
Shikanoko...
**[12:32] ---**
What are you even talking about?!
**[12:34] ---**
Deer crackers aren't hard! They're flaky!
**[12:36] ---**
I have one condition, too.
**[12:39] ---**
What?
**[12:40] ---**
If I win the fight...
**[12:46] ---**
Give me tons of deer crackers.
**[12:48] ---**
Just go to Nara already!
**[12:50] ---**
*The Deer Club faces its first huge crisis!*
**[12:52] ---**
*What will happen to the club? To Nokotan?*
**[12:55] ---**
*The battle that will decide the fate of
Deer Club and deer crackers begins now!*
**[13:00] ---**
I'm deporting you to Nara Park immediately!
**[13:03] ---**
All the deer crackers I can eat...
**[13:06] ---**
Can I go home now?
***SIGN*** MIYAJIMA O-TORII
***SIGN*** MIYAJIMA ITSUKUSHIMA SHRINE
***SIGN*** 1st Hinominami High School
Chitty Chitty King of Koshi Torako Competition!!
**[13:16] ---**
The first-ever Hinominami High School Chitty
Chitty King of Koshi Torako Competition!
**[13:22] ---**
Let's introduce our competitors!
**[13:25] ---**
What the hell is this?!
**[13:27] ---**
Koshi Torako's little sister
with a fierce sister complex,
**[13:31] ---**
Koshi Anko-chan!
**[13:32] ---**
Does anything in this world even
matter other than me and my sister?
**[13:36] ---**
No, really! What is this?!
**[13:38] ---**
The Deer Club's resident deer,
Shikanoko Noko-san!
**[13:41] ---**
I'll do it for the deer crackers!
**[13:43] ---**
Are any of you listening to me?!
**[13:45] ---**
How do you feel about
the competitors, Koshi-san?
**[13:49] ---**
I... I'm so lost right now.
**[13:51] ---**
You sure sound excited!
**[13:53] ---**
Are my words reaching you at all?!
**[13:56] ---**
And today's grand prizes are...
**[13:58] ---**
For Anko-chan, the right to deport
Nokotan to Nara Park!
**[14:03] ---**
And for Nokotan,
a 100-year supply of deer crackers!
**[14:06] ---**
Where did you even get all of these?
**[14:08] ---**
And your host will be me, Ukai,
the advisor of the Deer Club!
**[14:13] ---**
Do teachers have nothing else to do?
**[14:16] ---**
All right! Let's get started!
**[14:18] ---**
You spent way too much money on this set.
**[14:21] ---**
Question one.
What does Koshi-san do every—
**[14:24] ---**
What does Koshi-san do
every night before bed?
**[14:28] ---**
She talks the plushies in her room
and gives them all a goodnight kiss.
**[14:33] ---**
Correct!
**[14:34] ---**
Stop! What kind of question is that?!
Why are you violating my privacy?!
**[14:39] ---**
Is that a bad thing?
**[14:40] ---**
Of course it is!
**[14:42] ---**
But it's making your fans
love you even more!
**[14:46] ---**
- She likes plushies?
- Adorable!
**[14:49] ---**
Fan for life!
**[14:50] ---**
That's not the issue here!
**[14:52] ---**
Here's a photo to prove it!
**[14:57] ---**
Privacy! My privacy!
**[14:59] ---**
Stop it with these questions!
**[15:02] ---**
- On to the second question!
- You're ignoring me?!
**[15:05] ---**
Is Koshi-san currently—
**[15:07] ---**
Tch!
**[15:08] ---**
Nokotan was quicker this time!
Your answer, please!
**[15:11] ---**
Is Koshitan currently without a bra?
**[15:14] ---**
The answer is she's wearing
a bra top, therefore, without a bra.
**[15:17] ---**
Again, what are these questions?!
**[15:24] ---**
Correct!
**[15:25] ---**
Y-You can't prove that without looking!
**[15:28] ---**
*Schrödinger's bra.*
**[15:30] ---**
Let's take a look at the footage!
**[15:35] ---**
Stop! Stop! Stop!
Seriously! Why do you have this footage?!
**[15:41] ---**
Question three!
**[15:42] ---**
Can I go home now?!
**[15:44] ---**
Koshi-san has da—
**[15:47] ---**
Koshi-san has dated
how many boys or girls in total?
**[15:51] ---**
The answer is zero!
**[15:53] ---**
Uh, I might have dated someone!
**[15:55] ---**
*She hasn't.*
**[15:58] ---**
Sorry, incorrect!
**[16:00] ---**
Koshi-san has dated
zero boys or girls in total,
**[16:06] ---**
but what is the reason for this?
**[16:08] ---**
Please answer in sixty characters or less.
**[16:10] ---**
Do you really need to dig that deep?!
**[16:14] ---**
The answer please, Anko-chan!
***SIGN*** Anko
**[16:18] ---**
Others dated as she waited for
her first love due to shojo manga brain rot.
**[16:29] ---**
*Exactly sixty characters.*
**[16:32] ---**
Correct!
**[16:33] ---**
Stop analyzing me!
**[16:35] ---**
*Her favorite manga magazine
is* Bessatsu Friend*.*
**[16:38] ---**
Question four!
**[16:40] ---**
What is Koshi-san's childhood secret?
**[16:44] ---**
She wet the bed until she was ten.
**[16:46] ---**
Correct!
**[16:47] ---**
Don't say that!
**[16:49] ---**
What is something that Koshi-san
surprisingly likes?
**[16:51] ---**
- She likes kids' anime.
- Correct!
**[16:54] ---**
Why is that surprising? Who cares?
**[16:57] ---**
Question five! What is Koshi-san's—
**[16:59] ---**
- Egg on rice!
- Correct!
**[17:01] ---**
How were you able to answer that?!
**[17:09] ---**
What's happened here?
**[17:11] ---**
The contestants are locked in a tie!
**[17:15] ---**
How much longer are they going to
violate my privacy?
**[17:21] ---**
Something isn't right!
**[17:23] ---**
Why does this freaky deer
know so much about my sister?
**[17:26] ---**
There must be something going on!
**[17:29] ---**
I know! She's connected to the all-deer
network, Shika Shika Network (SSN)!
**[17:34] ---**
It's collecting my sister's data,
sending it to the supercomputer Shikagaku
**[17:39] ---**
to be analyzed and
transmitted to her antlers!
**[17:42] ---**
Now, I'll have to show you my true power!
**[17:49] ---**
You've let your guard down.
I have plenty more traps left!
**[17:53] ---**
*Doesn't this make
the quiz completely pointless?*
**[17:56] ---**
*Koshitan's privacy
was violated for nothing.*
**[17:59] ---**
I'll make Shish Kebab out of you
before I send you to Nara Park!
**[18:08] ---**
You can dodge them?!
**[18:10] ---**
What is up with this deer?
**[18:11] ---**
Take my knives like an adult!
**[18:13] ---**
Take this! And this!
**[18:15] ---**
*I'm tired. No one's looking.
Maybe I'll just leave.*
**[18:20] ---**
You vermin!
**[18:24] ---**
Onee-chan!
**[18:39] ---**
Shikanoko!
**[18:41] ---**
Hey, Shikanoko!
**[18:45] ---**
Koshitan... I'm getting really sleepy...
**[18:49] ---**
What are you saying?!
Stay with me, Shikanoko!
**[18:53] ---**
Open your eyes, Shikanoko! Shikanoko!
**[18:58] ---**
Why?
**[19:00] ---**
Following me around,
making me join your club...
**[19:04] ---**
Getting us into this mess...
**[19:07] ---**
How dare you...
**[19:08] ---**
How dare you just leave me like this?!
**[20:01] ---**
Notsu!
**[20:09] ---**
Shikanoko, you're alive!
**[20:15] ---**
I'm glad you're alive, but how?
**[20:23] ---**
Earlier...
**[20:30] ---**
It looks like the crackers protected me.
**[20:33] ---**
What is this, an old movie?
**[20:35] ---**
Deer crackers aren't even hard,
they're flaky!
**[20:39] ---**
Shikanoko.
**[20:42] ---**
Thank you for saving my sister.
**[20:45] ---**
This was my loss.
**[20:48] ---**
I was so foolishly blinded
by hate and anger,
**[20:51] ---**
I almost hurt my own sister.
**[20:53] ---**
I've failed as a little sister!
**[20:56] ---**
You're the one who should be by her si—
**[20:58] ---**
That's not true.
**[21:01] ---**
It's not true.
**[21:03] ---**
It was you, no...
**[21:05] ---**
Koshian, I was able to save your sister
thanks to the deer crackers you gave me.
**[21:10] ---**
You saved her life!
**[21:13] ---**
I think we can be good friends!
**[21:18] ---**
Can I call you Nokotan?
**[21:23] ---**
Of course!
**[21:25] ---**
Take care of my sister, okay, Nokotan?
**[21:29] ---**
Leave it to me, Koshian.
**[21:39] ---**
Nokotan! Koshian!
**[21:44] ---**
How lovely!
**[21:47] ---**
*In the end, Koshitan still had no idea
what was going on.*
**[21:54] ---**
*Starting tomorrow,
I'm going to wear a bra every day.*
***SIGN*** The next day
**[22:02] ---**
It's white today!
**[22:03] ---**
X-ray vision?!