My Deer Friend Nokotan
Koshi Torako has everyone fooled. Her classmates see her as the perfect honor student, unaware of her secret delinquent past. But her new picturesque school life is thrown into chaos when she bumps into Shikanoko Noko, a girl with antlers! Mayhem seems to follow this strange doe-eyed girl. Who, or what, is she?

Season 1

E1 - Girl Meets Deer
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] ---
    Once again, the maidens gather
    in the gardens of Acala
[00:05] ---
    and cross the Tama River with smiles
    as pure as those of the Shinsengumi.
[00:13] ---
    Their bodies and hearts, never once
    sullied, are clad in pure white clothes.
[00:17] ---
    The pleats of their skirts
    without a single wrinkle,
[00:20] ---
    their blue sailor scarves
    bothered not by the wind.
[00:24] ---
    They walk slowly and delicately.
[00:28] ---
    Metropolitan Hinominami High School,
    the garden of the maidens.
[00:32] ---
    (It's a coed school, though.)
[00:35] ---
    Good morning to you, lovely viewers!
SIGN    Girl Meets Deer
[02:23] ---
    It's still so cold.
[02:25] ---
    It rained yesterday, too.
[02:31] ---
    Be careful, it's slippery. Are you okay?
[02:37] ---
    Th-Thank you very much!
[02:40] ---
    You're welcome.
[02:45] ---
    Koshi Torako, a second-year student
    at Metropolitan Hinominami High,
[02:49] ---
    president of the student council
    as well as Class 2-B's student rep.
[02:52] ---
    She's attractive, smart,
    and good at sports.
[02:57] ---
    She's revered as the perfect girl at both school and around town.
[03:01] ---
    She's wonderful!
[03:06] ---
    Just as I planned.
[03:08] ---
    But Koshi Torako, whose high school life
    seems to be going so well,
[03:12] ---
    has a secret she can't
     tell anyone. And it's that...
[03:16] ---
    She's a former delinquent!
[03:17] ---
    I'm the one they call
    the Wild Beast of Tokyo's Hino City!
[03:21] ---
    My dark past of being a delinquent,
    influenced by shonen manga.
[03:25] ---
    If I get caught,
[03:27] ---
    all the effort I put into my high
    school debut being an honor student
[03:30] ---
    will go down the drain!
[03:32] ---
    Not that anyone could ever see
    through my perfect disguise, though.
[03:36] ---
    That's what she thought.
    Until today, anyway.
[03:50] ---
    Are you kidding me?
    A suicide by hanging in episode one?!
[03:53] ---
    I'm glad we're a late-night anime!
[03:55] ---
    Not that it makes this any better!
[03:57] ---
    Should I call the police? A doctor?
[03:58] ---
    Detective Conan? No... Hajime-chan!
[04:08] ---
    She's alive?
[04:10] ---
    What? If it's not suicide,
    why is she hanging from a place like that?
[04:14] ---
    She has antlers?
[04:16] ---
    Must be those things they sell at that
    Mouse-land place in Tokyo... I mean Chiba!
[04:20] ---
    But those would come right off, right?
[04:22] ---
    Which means those are real antlers?
[04:25] ---
    Deer antlers, by the looks of it.
[04:27] ---
    Is she supposed to be a deer?!
[04:29] ---
    Even if she is, aren't male deer
    the only ones that grow antlers?
SIGN    Male
SIGN    Female
SIGN    UMA Deer Woman
[04:33] ---
    Is she some kind of new UMA?
SIGN    The Mysterious Deer Woman
[04:35] ---
    Or a monster from an evil organization?
[04:37] ---
    Either way, that's an
    incredible amount of snot.
[04:40] ---
    Current temperature is 12°C.
[04:42] ---
    Gross!
[04:43] ---
    And now, animals have started to gather,
    thinking she's carrion!
[04:49] ---
    You want a piece of me?
[04:50] ---
    You wanna piece of me, huh? Come at me!
[04:53] ---
    Why is she trying to pick a fight
    in this situation?
[04:55] ---
    Should I help her?
[05:03] ---
    She's staring hard at me!
[05:05] ---
    The intensity of her gaze!
[05:07] ---
    If I get caught up in this, I'll be late!
[05:10] ---
    Honor students cannot be late!
[05:13] ---
    I'll have to pretend I didn't see her
[05:16] ---
    and hurry to school.
[05:18] ---
    You're going to leave me here?
[05:19] ---
    After seeing me like this,
    you're still leaving me here?
[05:23] ---
    M-Me? Of course not!
[05:26] ---
    Not to mention, you just
    somehow ended up there, right?
[05:29] ---
    I'm running late.
    I don't really have time to play.
[05:33] ---
    Tomorrow, the news will say,
[05:34] ---
    "A high schooler from Hino
    got caught in power lines and died."
[05:40] ---
    From now on, you'll remember my face
[05:42] ---
    when you go down
    this street every morning.
[05:46] ---
    You'll regret this every day, thinking,
    "I should've helped her that day."
[05:53] ---
    Okay! Fine!
[05:57] ---
    I'm alive!
[05:58] ---
    This girl is freakin' heavy!
[06:01] ---
    You bastard—
[06:03] ---
    Miss, what were you doing up there?
[06:06] ---
    I woke up this morning and there I was.
    I wonder why.
[06:09] ---
    Seriously, tell me why!
[06:11] ---
    Thank you so much for helping me,
[06:14] ---
    Miss Delinquent.
[06:16] ---
    Don't mention it.
[06:18] ---
    "Miss Delinquent"?
[06:20] ---
    Huh?! Who do you think you're talking to?!
[06:23] ---
    You, Miss!
[06:25] ---
    Wh-What are you talking about?
[06:26] ---
    Me? With this beautiful
    and composed womanly appearance?
[06:30] ---
    A delinquent? Th-That's not possible!
[06:34] ---
    Really?
[06:38] ---
    But you smell like one.
[06:40] ---
    Smell like what?
[06:41] ---
    My antlers are reacting, too.
[06:45] ---
    What kind of sensor is that?
[06:47] ---
    I have to get away from this girl.
[06:50] ---
    I-It must be your imagination.
    You may be mistaking me for someone else.
[06:54] ---
    I'd better get going.
    Try not to get stuck again, okay?
[06:59] ---
    That was close.
[07:01] ---
    I thought my disguise was perfect.
[07:03] ---
    How did she...?
[07:10] ---
    Who the hell was that girl?
[07:12] ---
    Be seated, everyone.
[07:16] ---
    I'd like to introduce
    a transfer student today.
[07:21] ---
    A transfer student?
    I have a bad feeling about this.
[07:25] ---
    Come on in.
[07:26] ---
    Coming!
[07:30] ---
    I knew it!
[07:34] ---
    Huh?
[07:35] ---
    Wh-Why are you stuck again already?
    Learn from your mistakes!
[08:20] ---
    You're kidding, right?!
[08:22] ---
    Please introduce yourself, Shikanoko-san.
[08:24] ---
    Notsu! I'm Shikanoko Noko. Call me Nokotan!
[08:28] ---
    Nokotan!
[08:31] ---
    What a funny girl.
[08:33] ---
    What a deer.
[08:35] ---
    Why is everyone welcoming her like that?
    Am I the weird one here?
[08:38] ---
    As for your seat...
    The desk next to Koshi-san is open!
[08:43] ---
    A common trope in school anime,
    the conveniently-empty seat.
[08:47] ---
    This is bad. If she says something weird
[08:50] ---
    my high school life will be over!
[08:53] ---
    I have to make the first move.
[08:55] ---
    Good morning!
[08:57] ---
    Hey, I saw you this morning.
[08:58] ---
    So you're a transfer student?
[09:01] ---
    I'm Koshi Torako. If you have
    any questions, feel free to ask.
[09:05] ---
    Thanks!
[09:07] ---
    Wait, maybe this will be okay after all.
[09:10] ---
    I guess I didn't need to worry so much.
[09:13] ---
    You can call me whatever you like.
[09:16] ---
    Whatever I like?
[09:17] ---
    I was just overthinking things.
[09:19] ---
    Okay!
[09:20] ---
    Miss Delinquent!
[09:22] ---
    Miss Delinquent...
[09:48] ---
    Huh?
[09:49] ---
    Let's be friends, Miss Delinquent!
[09:52] ---
    Koshi-san is a delinquent?
[09:54] ---
    Koshi-san, of all people?!
[09:55] ---
    There must be a mistake!
[09:57] ---
    Hello?! A deer just joined our class
    and you're choosing to focus on this?!
[10:02] ---
    W-Wait, a delinquent?
    What are you talking about?
[10:05] ---
    Please don't make false allegations.
[10:07] ---
    My primal instincts are telling me
    you're a delinquent.
[10:11] ---
    Are you a wild animal?!
[10:13] ---
    Also, you're a virgin.
[10:18] ---
    My antlers are reacting, too.
[10:20] ---
    What kind of system is that anyway?!
[10:22] ---
    Koshi-san's a virgin?
[10:24] ---
    I knew it!
[10:26] ---
    Really?
[10:27] ---
    Stay out of this, you extras!
[10:30] ---
    Wh-What proof do you have
    that I'm a virgin?
[10:33] ---
    What? So you're not a virgin?
[10:45] ---
    Well... that's...
[10:48] ---
    Virginity confirmed.
SIGN    VIRGIN
SIGN    NARA PARK TODAI-JI
SIGN    NARA PARK KOFUKU-JI
[11:01] ---
    It's Koshi-san!
[11:02] ---
    She looks beautiful as always!
[11:07] ---
    My disgraceful past was
    just about to come to light,
[11:10] ---
    but it looks like I'm safe for now.
[11:12] ---
    Though I can't let my guard down!
[11:14] ---
    I have to make sure that deer
    won't expose me as a former delinquent!
[11:20] ---
    To accomplish that,
[11:22] ---
    I must make my move
    before she opens her mouth again.
[11:28] ---
    Who put this mountain of snacks here?
[11:32] ---
    Wait a minute... The way they're wrapped...
    These are deer crackers!
[11:36] ---
    "Deer crackers."
[11:37] ---
    The soul food of Nara Prefecture.
[11:39] ---
    (Opinions may vary.)
[11:41] ---
    Students on their graduation trips
    often eat them for laughs,
[11:44] ---
    but much like their taste, the joke
    is a bit bland, and usually falls flat.
[11:50] ---
    Who would do this?
[12:04] ---
    It was her for sure!
[12:07] ---
    Is that drool? What is she, a Merlion?
[12:10] ---
    Excuse me, Shikanoko-san. What is this?
[12:14] ---
    I'm returning the favor.
[12:16] ---
    That's not what your face says.
[12:17] ---
    You... whoopsies.
    You saved me this morning, right?
[12:22] ---
    That's to say thanks.
[12:25] ---
    That was no big deal.
    I don't need repayment.
[12:28] ---
    What? Not satisfied with deer crackers?
[12:31] ---
    That's not the problem.
[12:34] ---
    Besides, why are you
    suddenly being condescending?
[12:36] ---
    How about I give you an antler then?
[12:39] ---
    They come off?
[12:40] ---
    Here.
[12:41] ---
    I don't want that!
[12:43] ---
    You can even eat them.
[12:47] ---
    D-Does it have a taste?
    Not that I'm going to try it...
[12:51] ---
    No taste, no smell, super hard.
[12:53] ---
    But you eat it anyway?!
[12:56] ---
    If that's not enough... This is just for you.
[12:59] ---
    I said I don't want it!
[13:00] ---
    Maybe I'm not in the position to say this,
[13:03] ---
    but you're ruining your own identity!
[13:06] ---
    Without your antlers,
    you're just a regular high school girl!
[13:09] ---
    For the one who saved my life,
[13:11] ---
    I'm willing to
    put my character on the line!
[13:14] ---
    Calm down!
    It's too early to abandon your character!
[13:16] ---
    It's still the first episode.
[13:18] ---
    You don't want my crackers or my antlers.
[13:22] ---
    They just stick back on?
[13:24] ---
    Could it be?! What you're after is...
[13:27] ---
    Me?!
SIGN    Me = Venison
[13:30] ---
    Why do you assume
    I want deer-related things?!
[13:32] ---
    Fine! Just eat me!
[13:34] ---
    I'm not gonna eat you!
    And who are those guys?
[13:37] ---
    I don't have anything else to give you!
[13:40] ---
    Look. As you can see,
    I don't have any money.
[13:43] ---
    You have more crackers?
[13:46] ---
    Please. I have nothing left to give.
[13:50] ---
    Why are you acting like
    I'm extorting you?!
[13:53] ---
    And for crackers?
[13:55] ---
    Crap, I let my true self show.
[13:58] ---
    Hey Nokotan,
    are you and Koshi-san friends?
[14:01] ---
    You sure look like it!
[14:04] ---
    Huh? "Nokotan"?
[14:09] ---
    That's my nickname! Cute, isn't it?
[14:11] ---
    Wow, you're annoying.
[14:13] ---
    You see, I was stuck on a utility pole
    this morning, and Miss Delin—
[14:16] ---
    Shikanoko-san!
    I remembered the teacher called for you!
SIGN    NO RUNNING IN THE HALLWAY
[14:22] ---
    Oh, my. Koshitan, what are you thinking?
    Bringing me to a place like this...
SIGN    UNDER MAINTENANCE STUDENT COUNCIL
[14:28] ---
    How bold of you.
[14:30] ---
    What are you imagining?!
[14:32] ---
    Oh? That's what I should be asking you.
[14:37] ---
    What? I-I'm not...
[14:41] ---
    Koshitan...
[14:43] ---
    Such a virgin.
[14:44] ---
    Shut up!
[14:45] ---
    And why are you calling me Koshitan?
[14:48] ---
    It's your nickname.
[14:49] ---
    We're Nokotan and Koshitan. Nice, right?
[14:51] ---
    Are we some kind of comedy duo?
[14:53] ---
    Who said you could give me a nickname?
[14:56] ---
    Then we'll go with Miss Delinq—
[14:58] ---
    Koshitan is fine.
[14:59] ---
    It was fine after all.
[15:02] ---
    That doesn't matter anyway.
[15:05] ---
    Now, about my true identity.
[15:07] ---
    Do you promise
    you'll never tell anyone, ever?
[15:12] ---
    I happen to be an honor
    student at this school
[15:15] ---
    and it'd be troublesome
    if anyone found out.
[15:21] ---
    If you say anything,
    it won't end well for you.
[15:24] ---
    Got it?
SIGN    UNDER MAINTENANCE STUDENT COUNCIL
[15:28] ---
    Your true identity...
[15:30] ---
    Does that mean that you're actually a virgin?
[15:33] ---
    You're... not wrong, but no!
[15:36] ---
    Damn it... Where do you
    get off teasing me like that?
[15:40] ---
    Listen up! Those antlers
    better be your only joke!
[15:46] ---
    You're right...
    These antlers are kinda weird.
SIGN    SHE'S INDOORS
[15:52] ---
    Well... no...
[15:54] ---
    A girl with antlers is totally gross.
[15:59] ---
    What even is a deer, anyway?
[16:02] ---
    I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable.
[16:04] ---
    I see...
[16:06] ---
    She's lived through years
    of people talking about her appearance.
[16:09] ---
    And yet I...
[16:11] ---
    Forget being an honor student.
    I've failed at being a human!
[16:16] ---
    I... I'm sorry!
    I don't care about your antlers!
[16:21] ---
    How about this?
[16:24] ---
    Koshitan, frozen with fear,
[16:25] ---
    was unable to ask where the horns started.
[16:32] ---
    Today was exhausting.
[16:34] ---
    I still have to study for tomorrow.
SIGN    CREAK! CRASH!
[16:39] ---
    What was that?
[16:41] ---
    From over there?
[16:44] ---
    Excuse me! Is anyone in there?
[16:47] ---
    I just heard a loud noise and...
SIGN    DEER
[16:56] ---
    Do I call the police?! A doctor?!
[16:58] ---
    Detective Conan? Er, no... Hajime-chan!
[17:01] ---
    Hey, Koshitan!
[17:03] ---
    Shikanoko-san, is that blood?
    Did something happen?
[17:09] ---
    Oops, my bad.
[17:11] ---
    I fell from the ladder
    and scraped my knee!
[17:28] ---
    What about your head?!
[17:33] ---
    What a cute bandage.
[17:35] ---
    Shut up!
[17:36] ---
    What are you doing in this
    abandoned warehouse anyway?
[17:41] ---
    I was cleaning.
[17:42] ---
    Cleaning? All by yourself?
[17:44] ---
    Yep! Thanks, Koshitan!
[17:47] ---
    All right, back to work!
[17:57] ---
    Fine. I'll help you.
[18:00] ---
    What? You will?
[18:01] ---
    Y-You're hurt.
[18:03] ---
    Who knows what'll happen
    if I leave you here?
[18:06] ---
    Yay! Thanks!
[18:08] ---
    She is, without a doubt, a tsundere.
[18:19] ---
    Cleaning is such a chore,
    but you seem to be having fun.
[18:23] ---
    Because I'm with you, Koshitan!
[18:25] ---
    Huh?! That's too much. We're just cleaning.
[18:29] ---
    Even cleaning can be fun
    when you do it with a friend.
[18:35] ---
    It looks much cleaner already!
[18:38] ---
    Ukai-sensei?
[18:39] ---
    Sensei, notsu!
[18:41] ---
    Hey there, notsu!
[18:43] ---
    Did you help her, Koshi-san?
[18:45] ---
    Thank you! It must've been hard.
[18:47] ---
    Not at all! It was a piece of cake.
[18:50] ---
    I'm so glad you'll be joining
    the Deer Club too, Koshi-san!
[18:54] ---
    Of course— What now?
[18:57] ---
    Deer Club?
[18:58] ---
    Just as I promised,
    feel free to use this room as you like!
[19:02] ---
    Hooray!
[19:03] ---
    Wait! What in the world is the Deer Club?
    And who said I'd be joining?
[19:07] ---
    What? You didn't hear about it?
[19:09] ---
    I founded a Deer Club!
[19:12] ---
    What the hell kinda club is that?
[19:15] ---
    I promised her that if she cleaned up
    this place, she could use it as a club room.
[19:20] ---
    - Right?
    - Right?
[19:21] ---
    "Right," my butt!
[19:23] ---
    More importantly, I can't be seen
     in a crazy club like this!
[19:28] ---
    I'm so relieved.
[19:30] ---
    You're so responsible and caring, Koshi-san.
[19:32] ---
    Like a reliable older sister!
[19:35] ---
    You're so cheerful and kind,
    so this is bound to be a fun club.
[19:38] ---
    It'll be like home for us!
[19:41] ---
    You're also very smart,
    so you might win some kind of award!
[19:44] ---
    We might even get to the nationals!
[19:48] ---
    With you on board, I'm sure
    the Deer Club will do incredible things!
[19:53] ---
    Leave it to me!
[19:54] ---
    Koshitan is a pushover.
[19:56] ---
    Okay, Shikanoko-san,
    please fill in the club approval form.
[19:59] ---
    'Kay!
[20:01] ---
    Club name, Deer Club.
[20:03] ---
    Club president, Koshi Torako.
[20:05] ---
    Activities, mainly taking care of deer.
[20:08] ---
    Wait a minute!
    Why am I the club president?
[20:12] ---
    - You're the president, Koshitan.
    - You're the president, Koshi-san.
[20:14] ---
    How am I the odd one out here?
[20:16] ---
    It's the Deer Club, right?
[20:18] ---
    There's a literal deer girl right here.
    Why not make her president?
[20:22] ---
    I see what you mean.
[20:24] ---
    But here it says that
    the Deer Club mainly takes care of deer.
[20:29] ---
    Huh? Yes, it does...
SIGN    Club member
[20:30] ---
    I'll be the Deer Club's
    resident deer, you see.
[20:34] ---
    The Deer Club's resident deer?
SIGN    Deer
[20:35] ---
    And the president cares for her!
[20:38] ---
    That's you, Koshitan!
[20:39] ---
    I'm not on board with that.
[20:41] ---
    What kind of club takes care of deer?
    Is this an agricultural school?
[20:45] ---
    Here. Submitted!
[20:47] ---
    Okay! And submission accepted!
[20:50] ---
    That easily?!
[20:52] ---
    President, I'm counting on you
    to look after Shikanoko-san.
[20:56] ---
    I'll be in your care.
[20:59] ---
    Okay.
[21:00] ---
    Having said,
    "Leave it to me!" with a smile,
[21:03] ---
    it was too late for Koshitan to back down.
SIGN    DEER CLUB
    SEEKING NEW CLUB MEMBERS
[21:06] ---
    The Deer Club is born! Yay!
[21:09] ---
    This is an incredible turn
    of events for one single day.
[21:14] ---
    I'll bring more deer crackers tomorrow!
[21:19] ---
    Well, whatever.
[21:21] ---
    I guess you can get started
    by giving me a good brushing.
[21:24] ---
    You've gotta be kidding!
[21:26] ---
    And what's with the weird brush?
[21:28] ---
    It's for animals.
[21:32] ---
    Fine! Let's just get it over with.
[21:35] ---
    Notsu!
[21:36] ---
    Damn it. Why me?
[21:47] ---
    Damn it... Am I going to
    have to do this all the time?
[21:55] ---
    Damn you, you vermin!
[21:58] ---
    Y-Yikes!
[22:00] ---
    I have no idea what's going on,
[22:01] ---
    but it appears
    the Deer Club's fight is just beginning!

E2 - Deer Meets Darkness Girl
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:19] ---
    I made it!
[01:59] ---
    Deer Meets Darkness Girl
[02:10] ---
    Introducing once more,
    Koshi Torako, former delinquent.
[02:17] ---
    Covering up her past upon joining high school,
    she climbed the ranks as an honor student
[02:21] ---
    and is now president of
    the student council, as well as class rep.
[02:26] ---
    However a transfer deer (?) named 
    Shikanoko Noko revealed her past,
[02:31] ---
    revealed that she was a virgin,
[02:33] ---
    and because she was a total pushover,
[02:35] ---
    she was duped into becoming
    the president of the mysterious Deer Club.
[02:39] ---
    And once again, she reluctantly
    heads to the club.
[02:43] ---
    Yay! It's time for Deer Club!
[02:45] ---
    Maybe she doesn't sound reluctant?
[02:47] ---
    Well, it's not like I'm actually
    looking forward to going to the club.
[02:51] ---
    Oh? Then what is it?
[02:53] ---
    When I gave the clubhouse
    a little makeover this morning,
[02:57] ---
    it turned out so good!
[02:59] ---
    But it's not like I'm super excited
    for club activities today
[03:04] ---
    or anything like that.
[03:07] ---
    Is that so?
[03:09] ---
    It's the president's job to make
    the clubhouse a comfortable place.
[03:12] ---
    I can't wait to see how she reacts!
[03:15] ---
    You're amazing, Koshitan!
    I was wrong about you!
[03:17] ---
    Of course!
[03:19] ---
    All that's left is the wallpaper...
    Oh! And maybe I'll get a cabinet!
[03:23] ---
    There's still so much to be done!
[03:27] ---
    Just you wait! It'll be my own utopia!
SIGN    I won't forgive you, Deer
[03:41] ---
    And thus, the utopia came to an end.
[03:46] ---
    Kumagoro!
[03:48] ---
    Wh-What is this? My utopia!
[03:52] ---
    The utopia I spent my life savings on
    and four hours of my morning!
[03:59] ---
    She woke up at 3 AM.
[04:01] ---
    Are you okay, Koshitan?
[04:04] ---
    It's dangerous there. Come over here.
[04:07] ---
    You! Did you do this?!
[04:10] ---
    Did you do this to my utopia?!
[04:14] ---
    Hm? What are you talking about?
[04:15] ---
    It was already like this when I got here.
[04:20] ---
    Also, this room is dangerous.
[04:23] ---
    What do you mean?
[04:24] ---
    Someone's trying to kill me today.
[04:28] ---
    Who? And why?
[04:30] ---
    I don't know.
[04:31] ---
    But it's probably the same person
    who trashed our room.
[04:35] ---
    I fell into a five-meter-deep pitfall
    on the way to school,
[04:38] ---
    spears came falling out of the sky,
[04:40] ---
    and there were plastic bottles
    filled with water everywhere.
[04:43] ---
    How are you still alive?!
    Didn't a spear stab you in the head?!
[04:46] ---
    And water bottles? Not even cats are
    scared of those anymore!
[04:51] ---
    And my antlers totally
    got stuck in the door, too!
[04:54] ---
    You broke it again?!
[04:56] ---
    Anyway! I'm telling you,
    this place is dangerous!
[04:58] ---
    Now, calm down.
[05:00] ---
    Just think about it.
    There's no way someone's after you.
[05:03] ---
    You think so?
[05:04] ---
    Of course.
[05:05] ---
    Let's just step outside,
    get some fresh air and think calmly—
[05:12] ---
    Hey, how could you step
    out of cover so carelessly?
[05:16] ---
    This is a battlefield!
[05:17] ---
    Who are you?!
[05:18] ---
    I thought I taught you that
    carelessness will get you killed!
[05:21] ---
    You never taught me a damn thing!
    I was born in the Heisei era of peace!
[05:25] ---
    But more importantly,
    is someone seriously after you?
[05:28] ---
    Looks like it.
[05:29] ---
    Man, screw this! I'm leaving!
[05:31] ---
    What?! You're going to abandon
    your teacher and run away?!
[05:35] ---
    Shut up! Since when am I your student?
[05:39] ---
    I'm done getting caught up
    in all this annoying—
[05:45] ---
    Koshitan, is your head all right?
[05:47] ---
    That's not an insult.
[05:48] ---
    Who the hell are you?
[05:50] ---
    Give me back my utopia!
[05:54] ---
    Now she's pissed.
[05:55] ---
    You're going down!
[05:58] ---
    I don't care if you're
     a soldier or an assassin.
[06:01] ---
    Bring it on!
[06:19] ---
    Crap! Grenade! Get down!
[06:23] ---
    Deer crackers?!
[06:26] ---
    Hey! It's a trap!
[06:29] ---
    Wait, you moron! Wait, wait, wait!
[06:33] ---
    What, Koshitan?!
[06:34] ---
    Open your eyes! It's a trap!
    It's the trap of all traps!
[06:38] ---
    What kind of idiot drools
    and walks right into a trap?!
[06:42] ---
    - A trap...
    - Shikanoko?
[06:45] ---
    Long, long ago, a deer was asked,
[06:48] ---
    "Why do deer eat deer crackers?"
[06:51] ---
    This is how they answered.
[06:54] ---
    "Because there are
    deer crackers before me!"
[07:07] ---
    Shikanoko!
[07:09] ---
    I'm sorry, Koshitan.
[07:11] ---
    But I love deer crackers
    more than anything in this world!
[07:19] ---
    Yippee!
[07:27] ---
    Well, I messed up.
[07:29] ---
    I told you that this was a trap—
[07:31] ---
    I lost a little speed at the end
    and couldn't reach the deer crackers!
[07:35] ---
    You're still on that?!
[07:39] ---
    Hey! You over there trying to get me!
[07:41] ---
    I know you can hear me!
[07:43] ---
    My name is Nokotan! Show yourself!
[07:46] ---
    I accept this fight fair and square!
[07:49] ---
    Haven't you lost already?
[07:51] ---
    The deer's distant cry of defeat.
[07:53] ---
    And bring me more deer crackers, please!
[07:56] ---
    You're asking them for favors?
[07:58] ---
    You're quite bold for a pest.
[08:01] ---
    I planned to exterminate you earlier
[08:04] ---
    but my calculations were all wrong.
[08:07] ---
    A fight? I'll happily accept.
[08:09] ---
    I'll send you on your way to hell.
[08:12] ---
    This girl...
[08:13] ---
    I've managed to survive countless battles
[08:17] ---
    but she was able to capture me with ease.
[08:19] ---
    She's on another level.
[08:20] ---
    Who the hell are you?!
[08:22] ---
    - Anko?
    - Anko?
[08:24] ---
    What the hell are you doing here?
[08:28] ---
    Onee-chan!
[08:31] ---
    I missed you so much!
[08:33] ---
    You missed me?
    You see me at home every day.
[08:36] ---
    I want to be with you 365 days a year,
    24 hours a day, every minute and second!
[08:42] ---
    I can't get enough of your scent!
[08:44] ---
    Cut it out, will you?
[08:46] ---
    And why aren't you at school?
[08:48] ---
    Even your angry face is so adorable!
    I wuv you so much!
[08:51] ---
    Are you even listening?
[08:53] ---
    Who's she, Koshitan?
[08:55] ---
    My bad, this is Koshi Anko.
[08:58] ---
    My little sister.
[08:59] ---
    Koshi... Anko... Red bean... paste!
[09:04] ---
    You're imagining something
    delicious, aren't you?
[09:09] ---
    Don't stare at me like that, you vermin!
[09:14] ---
    Shikanoko Noko. I cannot forgive you.
[09:17] ---
    What's your deal with her?
[09:20] ---
    Wait, did you do all this?
[09:23] ---
    Yes. It was me.
[09:26] ---
    Why would you...
[09:27] ---
    It's all this deer's fault! All of it!
[09:31] ---
    It's her fault you changed!
[09:34] ---
    You used to come running home
    to me after school.
[09:39] ---
    To you? That's where we live as a family.
[09:42] ---
    You've been coming home so late...
[09:44] ---
    I'm always home by seven!
[09:47] ---
    I followed you because I was curious
    about why you were out so late
[09:50] ---
    and you were alone with
    that deer in your "club."
[09:53] ---
    How obscene!
[09:54] ---
    What's obscene is your damn way of thinking!
[09:57] ---
    And you left early again this morning...
[10:01] ---
    All you think about
    is your little deer love nest!
[10:04] ---
    That comfy couch, those cute rugs?!
    Is all of that necessary for a club room?
[10:09] ---
    Obscene! What were you two
     planning on doing in there?!
[10:12] ---
    W-Well...
[10:14] ---
    She wanted to retort, but couldn't admit
    that the setup was for herself.
[10:17] ---
    You can't answer? Does that mean...
[10:21] ---
    You slept together?
[10:23] ---
    Of course not!
[10:24] ---
    Are you mentally ill?
[10:26] ---
    And what's with the kunai?!
    Are you Iga? Koga? A Hokage?
[10:30] ---
    Hey, help me out here.
[10:33] ---
    Koshitan is my girl!
[10:35] ---
    That's not helping!
[10:36] ---
    Why are you complicating things?
    That's not what's going on here!
[10:41] ---
    I don't know if you're chunky or smooth,
    but I will protect Koshitan!
[10:44] ---
    You've done it now, you idiot!
[10:47] ---
    I knew it! You took my
    sister's virginity, didn't you?!
[10:50] ---
    See?! I knew this would happen!
[10:52] ---
    Do you know how hard I've been
    protecting my sister's virginity?!
[10:57] ---
    I don't remember asking for that.
[11:00] ---
    I won't forgive you...
[11:01] ---
    The deer that took my sister from me
[11:04] ---
    and my sister who crossed
    that line with a deer.
[11:06] ---
    I haven't crossed any lines!
    Not even the Chuo Line!
SIGN    Setting: Hino City
[11:09] ---
    I belong by your side.
[11:12] ---
    Anyone who stands in my way is my enemy.
[11:15] ---
    That's why I decided to destroy it all.
[11:19] ---
    Anko...
[11:20] ---
    I thought that if I destroyed
    this ridiculous Deer Club of yours
[11:23] ---
    and exterminated that vermin,
    my sister would come back home to me.
[11:28] ---
    But I've changed my mind.
[11:33] ---
    You mentioned something
    about fighting fair and square, right?
[11:36] ---
    That sounds fun. I accept.
[11:40] ---
    But if I win,
[11:42] ---
    you'll spend the rest of your life
    as a deer at Nara Park.
[11:46] ---
    Nara?
[11:48] ---
    If I lose, I will accept the festering
    relationship you have with my sister
[11:52] ---
    and leave you alone.
[11:54] ---
    You're gonna give people the wrong idea!
[11:56] ---
    Pull yourself together, Anko.
[11:59] ---
    This is ridiculous.
    There's no point in fighting.
[12:03] ---
    Why? It was the deer's idea.
[12:07] ---
    That is true...
[12:10] ---
    Fine. Let's fight.
[12:13] ---
    Wait, are you serious?
[12:15] ---
    If you become a Nara Park deer,
    what will happen to the club?
[12:20] ---
    Don't worry, Koshitan.
[12:23] ---
    Trust me!
[12:25] ---
    The Deer Club has a bond
    harder than deer crackers!
[12:29] ---
    Shikanoko...
[12:32] ---
    What are you even talking about?!
[12:34] ---
    Deer crackers aren't hard! They're flaky!
[12:36] ---
    I have one condition, too.
[12:39] ---
    What?
[12:40] ---
    If I win the fight...
[12:46] ---
    Give me tons of deer crackers.
[12:48] ---
    Just go to Nara already!
[12:50] ---
    The Deer Club faces its first huge crisis!
[12:52] ---
    What will happen to the club? To Nokotan?
[12:55] ---
    The battle that will decide the fate of
    Deer Club and deer crackers begins now!
[13:00] ---
    I'm deporting you to Nara Park immediately!
[13:03] ---
    All the deer crackers I can eat...
[13:06] ---
    Can I go home now?
SIGN    MIYAJIMA O-TORII
SIGN    MIYAJIMA ITSUKUSHIMA SHRINE
SIGN    1st Hinominami High School
    Chitty Chitty King of Koshi Torako Competition!!
[13:16] ---
    The first-ever Hinominami High School Chitty
    Chitty King of Koshi Torako Competition!
[13:22] ---
    Let's introduce our competitors!
[13:25] ---
    What the hell is this?!
[13:27] ---
    Koshi Torako's little sister
    with a fierce sister complex,
[13:31] ---
    Koshi Anko-chan!
[13:32] ---
    Does anything in this world even
    matter other than me and my sister?
[13:36] ---
    No, really! What is this?!
[13:38] ---
    The Deer Club's resident deer,
    Shikanoko Noko-san!
[13:41] ---
    I'll do it for the deer crackers!
[13:43] ---
    Are any of you listening to me?!
[13:45] ---
    How do you feel about
    the competitors, Koshi-san?
[13:49] ---
    I... I'm so lost right now.
[13:51] ---
    You sure sound excited!
[13:53] ---
    Are my words reaching you at all?!
[13:56] ---
    And today's grand prizes are...
[13:58] ---
    For Anko-chan, the right to deport
    Nokotan to Nara Park!
[14:03] ---
    And for Nokotan,
    a 100-year supply of deer crackers!
[14:06] ---
    Where did you even get all of these?
[14:08] ---
    And your host will be me, Ukai,
    the advisor of the Deer Club!
[14:13] ---
    Do teachers have nothing else to do?
[14:16] ---
    All right! Let's get started!
[14:18] ---
    You spent way too much money on this set.
[14:21] ---
    Question one.
    What does Koshi-san do every—
[14:24] ---
    What does Koshi-san do
    every night before bed?
[14:28] ---
    She talks the plushies in her room
    and gives them all a goodnight kiss.
[14:33] ---
    Correct!
[14:34] ---
    Stop! What kind of question is that?!
    Why are you violating my privacy?!
[14:39] ---
    Is that a bad thing?
[14:40] ---
    Of course it is!
[14:42] ---
    But it's making your fans
    love you even more!
[14:46] ---
    - She likes plushies?
    - Adorable!
[14:49] ---
    Fan for life!
[14:50] ---
    That's not the issue here!
[14:52] ---
    Here's a photo to prove it!
[14:57] ---
    Privacy! My privacy!
[14:59] ---
    Stop it with these questions!
[15:02] ---
    - On to the second question!
    - You're ignoring me?!
[15:05] ---
    Is Koshi-san currently—
[15:07] ---
    Tch!
[15:08] ---
    Nokotan was quicker this time!
    Your answer, please!
[15:11] ---
    Is Koshitan currently without a bra?
[15:14] ---
    The answer is she's wearing
    a bra top, therefore, without a bra.
[15:17] ---
    Again, what are these questions?!
[15:24] ---
    Correct!
[15:25] ---
    Y-You can't prove that without looking!
[15:28] ---
    Schrödinger's bra.
[15:30] ---
    Let's take a look at the footage!
[15:35] ---
    Stop! Stop! Stop!
    Seriously! Why do you have this footage?!
[15:41] ---
    Question three!
[15:42] ---
    Can I go home now?!
[15:44] ---
    Koshi-san has da—
[15:47] ---
    Koshi-san has dated
    how many boys or girls in total?
[15:51] ---
    The answer is zero!
[15:53] ---
    Uh, I might have dated someone!
[15:55] ---
    She hasn't.
[15:58] ---
    Sorry, incorrect!
[16:00] ---
    Koshi-san has dated
    zero boys or girls in total,
[16:06] ---
    but what is the reason for this?
[16:08] ---
    Please answer in sixty characters or less.
[16:10] ---
    Do you really need to dig that deep?!
[16:14] ---
    The answer please, Anko-chan!
SIGN    Anko
[16:18] ---
    Others dated as she waited for
    her first love due to shojo manga brain rot.
[16:29] ---
    Exactly sixty characters.
[16:32] ---
    Correct!
[16:33] ---
    Stop analyzing me!
[16:35] ---
    Her favorite manga magazine
    is Bessatsu Friend*.*
[16:38] ---
    Question four!
[16:40] ---
    What is Koshi-san's childhood secret?
[16:44] ---
    She wet the bed until she was ten.
[16:46] ---
    Correct!
[16:47] ---
    Don't say that!
[16:49] ---
    What is something that Koshi-san
    surprisingly likes?
[16:51] ---
    - She likes kids' anime.
    - Correct!
[16:54] ---
    Why is that surprising? Who cares?
[16:57] ---
    Question five! What is Koshi-san's—
[16:59] ---
    - Egg on rice!
    - Correct!
[17:01] ---
    How were you able to answer that?!
[17:09] ---
    What's happened here?
[17:11] ---
    The contestants are locked in a tie!
[17:15] ---
    How much longer are they going to
    violate my privacy?
[17:21] ---
    Something isn't right!
[17:23] ---
    Why does this freaky deer
    know so much about my sister?
[17:26] ---
    There must be something going on!
[17:29] ---
    I know! She's connected to the all-deer
     network, Shika Shika Network (SSN)!
[17:34] ---
    It's collecting my sister's data,
    sending it to the supercomputer Shikagaku
[17:39] ---
    to be analyzed and
    transmitted to her antlers!
[17:42] ---
    Now, I'll have to show you my true power!
[17:49] ---
    You've let your guard down.
    I have plenty more traps left!
[17:53] ---
    Doesn't this make
    the quiz completely pointless?
[17:56] ---
    Koshitan's privacy
    was violated for nothing.
[17:59] ---
    I'll make Shish Kebab out of you
    before I send you to Nara Park!
[18:08] ---
    You can dodge them?!
[18:10] ---
    What is up with this deer?
[18:11] ---
    Take my knives like an adult!
[18:13] ---
    Take this! And this!
[18:15] ---
    I'm tired. No one's looking.
    Maybe I'll just leave.
[18:20] ---
    You vermin!
[18:24] ---
    Onee-chan!
[18:39] ---
    Shikanoko!
[18:41] ---
    Hey, Shikanoko!
[18:45] ---
    Koshitan... I'm getting really sleepy...
[18:49] ---
    What are you saying?!
    Stay with me, Shikanoko!
[18:53] ---
    Open your eyes, Shikanoko! Shikanoko!
[18:58] ---
    Why?
[19:00] ---
    Following me around,
    making me join your club...
[19:04] ---
    Getting us into this mess...
[19:07] ---
    How dare you...
[19:08] ---
    How dare you just leave me like this?!
[20:01] ---
    Notsu!
[20:09] ---
    Shikanoko, you're alive!
[20:15] ---
    I'm glad you're alive, but how?
[20:23] ---
    Earlier...
[20:30] ---
    It looks like the crackers protected me.
[20:33] ---
    What is this, an old movie?
[20:35] ---
    Deer crackers aren't even hard,
    they're flaky!
[20:39] ---
    Shikanoko.
[20:42] ---
    Thank you for saving my sister.
[20:45] ---
    This was my loss.
[20:48] ---
    I was so foolishly blinded
    by hate and anger,
[20:51] ---
    I almost hurt my own sister.
[20:53] ---
    I've failed as a little sister!
[20:56] ---
    You're the one who should be by her si—
[20:58] ---
    That's not true.
[21:01] ---
    It's not true.
[21:03] ---
    It was you, no...
[21:05] ---
    Koshian, I was able to save your sister
    thanks to the deer crackers you gave me.
[21:10] ---
    You saved her life!
[21:13] ---
    I think we can be good friends!
[21:18] ---
    Can I call you Nokotan?
[21:23] ---
    Of course!
[21:25] ---
    Take care of my sister, okay, Nokotan?
[21:29] ---
    Leave it to me, Koshian.
[21:39] ---
    Nokotan! Koshian!
[21:44] ---
    How lovely!
[21:47] ---
    In the end, Koshitan still had no idea
    what was going on.
[21:54] ---
    Starting tomorrow,
    I'm going to wear a bra every day.
SIGN    The next day
[22:02] ---
    It's white today!
[22:03] ---
    X-ray vision?!

E3 - The New Student: Bashame
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:03] Koshitan
    Crap. I took a slight detour,
    and now I'm late.
SIGN    This is a work of fiction. The names of the people, places, and organizations
    are fictitious and in no way related to any real person or entity.
SIGN    Deer Club
[00:12] Koshitan
    Sorry I'm late!
SIGN    Camera 1
SIGN    Camera 2
SIGN    Deer Crackers
SIGN    Camera 3
SIGN    Camera 4
[00:22] Koshitan
    A... A deer!
SIGN    The New Student: Bashame
[02:06] Koshitan
    Wh-Wh-What the hell is a deer doing here?!
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
[02:09] Koshitan
    Though, in a way, it's only natural
    that deer would be in the Deer Club.
[02:17] Koshitan
    In fact, they've been hanging around
    pretty casually this whole time.
[02:20] Koshitan
    Why the heck didn't I notice?
SIGN    Deer Crackers
[02:32] Koshitan
    Hey, stop eating our club's
    supply of deer crackers!
[02:35] Koshitan
    Hey, Shikanoko! Is this your doing?
[02:40] Koshitan
    She's not here?
[02:47] Koshitan
    Wait, is this deer...
[02:55] Koshitan
    Shikanoko?!
[02:56] Koshitan
    What're you messin' around for?!
[02:57] Koshitan
    I know damn well you're Shikanoko!
    So hurry up and turn back!
[03:05] Koshitan
    She's not turning back?
[03:07] Koshitan
    I see. So she's mocking me.
[03:11] Koshitan
    All right, then.
[03:13] Koshitan
    I'll rip that deer hide of
    a disguise right off of you!
[03:17] Koshitan
    Grasp.
[03:18] Koshitan
    Take it off! Take off that costume!
[03:21] Koshitan
    Did you really think I wouldn't
    see through a mere disguise?!
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
[03:42] Koshitan
    Man, I sure am thirsty.
[03:45] Koshitan
    I mean, I did just go back and forth
[03:47] Koshitan
    between the school building
    and the clubhouse.
[03:51] Koshitan
    Oh, yeah. I bought something you'd like.
[03:57] Koshitan
    Ta-dah! A spring exclusive!
[03:59] Koshitan
    The super-popular sakura-mochi-
    flavored boba milk tea
[04:02] Koshitan
    from the Hinominami High school store!
[04:05] Koshitan
    But I guess you can't drink it as a deer.
[04:08] Koshitan
    You poor thing. I'm even treating you, too.
[04:14] Koshitan
    Well, if you can't drink it,
    I guess I'll just have to drink both.
[04:17] Koshitan
    You sure about this? I'm about
    to have both bobalicious drinks.
[04:21] Koshitan
    She's ignoring me?!
[04:22] Koshitan
    Damn it... I guess boba's
    not enough to sway her.
[04:31] Koshitan
    Manjiro!
[04:32] Narrator
    Deer are herbivores.
    They eat leaves and grass.
[04:37] Koshitan
    How dare you do that to my Manjiro
    that I grew with love and care?!
[04:41] Narrator
    All the plants in the Deer Club have been
    named and taken care of by Koshitan.
SIGN    Iruka
SIGN    Umako
SIGN    Emishi
[04:47] Koshitan
    Stop nomming on him, you bastard deer!
[04:52] Koshitan
    Yikes... What the hell is that sound?
[04:55] Koshitan
    I've never heard that before.
[04:57] Narrator
    When bucks become aggressive, they let out a
    "geh, geh, geh" sound to intimidate enemies.
[05:01] Narrator
    Do not approach them when this happens.
[05:04] Koshitan
    You're just gonna keep being stubborn, eh?
[05:06] Koshitan
    But I can't falter, either.
[05:08] Koshitan
    I need to protect Manjiro and the others!
[05:11] Koshitan
    Guess I'm just gonna have to use force!
[05:15] Koshitan
    Take this! You're powerless
    before these water bottles!
[05:18] Narrator
    Nokotan is terrified of plastic
    bottles filled with water.
[05:27] Koshitan
    Well? How's it feel to be utterly helpless?
[05:30] Koshitan
    If you want me to move them,
    hurry up and revert to your usual form!
[05:36] Koshitan
    What?!
[05:37] Koshitan
    Wh-When...
[05:39] Koshitan
    When did you overcome your
    fear of water bottles?!
[05:44] Koshitan
    I need to dig deeper into her interests,
    or I won't be able
[05:47] Koshitan
    to protect Manjiro and the others.
[05:49] Koshitan
    Something that'll grab Shikanoko's
    attention... Grab her attention...
[05:59] Koshitan
    Th-This is it!
[06:04] Koshitan
    Oh, no!
SIGN    Secret
[06:05] Koshitan
    L-Look what I found!
[06:07] Koshitan
    My notebook of poems from my dark past!
SIGN    Secret
[06:11] Koshitan
    Boy, I sure better set this embarrassing
    thing on fire immediately.
[06:15] Koshitan
    Glance.
[06:16] Koshitan
    But I mean... You and I
    are so close, Shikanoko.
[06:19] Koshitan
    So I guess I wouldn't mind letting you have
    a peek first. In your usual form, that is.
[06:27] Koshitan
    I can't risk leaving something so embarrassing
    at home, so I always have it on me.
[06:32] Koshitan
    I never thought I'd end up
    bringing it out here.
[06:35] Koshitan
    But I'm sure if I go this far, she'll also...
[06:39] Koshitan
    There we go! She reacted! Just one more push!
[06:44] Koshitan
    I-I guess I wouldn't mind letting you hear
    one of my original songs I wrote recently.
[06:51] Nokotan
    What? I'd love to hear that!
[06:53] Koshitan
    Oh, fine. Just a little.
[06:57] Koshitan
    One, two, three, four.
[07:04] Koshitan
    Go forth, former delinquent Koshitan!
[07:07] Koshitan
    I can hear a sad wind
[07:10] Koshitan
    Is there someone crying?
[07:12] Koshitan
    Wow, wow, wow, wow
[07:14] Koshitan
    Behind the school building, after school
[07:17] Koshitan
    The territory of the starving tiger
[07:19] Koshitan
    An untouchable sanctuary
[07:22] Koshitan
    If you carelessly go in,
    you'll get torn to shreds
[07:25] Koshitan
    But I can't leave this sad song alone
[07:28] Koshitan
    So I'll come wipe those tears for you
[07:31] Koshitan
    Good grief. I just don't want to stand out.
[07:36] Koshitan
    Three minutes? Ha!
[07:38] Koshitan
    Three seconds is plenty.
[07:40] Koshitan
    Go! Fight! Koshitan!
[07:43] Koshitan
    I may be a former delinquent, but you
    lame-ass punks ain't got nothin' on me!
[07:47] Koshitan
    The blazing tiger's fist
[07:49] Koshitan
    Will leave sparks across your cheekbones
[07:52] Koshitan
    Don't underestimate the toe beans of a tiger.
[07:59] Koshitan
    If you ever need to cry, call on me!
[08:01] Koshitan
    Koshitan! Koshitan!
[08:03] Koshitan
    Wow, wow, wow, wow
[08:05] Koshitan
    I'm the former delinquent Koshitan!
[08:09] Koshitan
    Okay, time for verse two!
[08:21] Koshitan
    Go forth, former delinquent Koshitan!
[08:26] Koshitan
    Now, now. I'm afraid I can't
    let you listen to any more.
SIGN    Deer Cra
[08:31] Nokotan
    Aw, that's a shame.
[08:33] Koshitan
    Nope, nope. Not unless you
    change back to your normal...
[08:38] Nokotan
    Gosh, I sure would love to hear more!
[08:41] Nokotan
    Come on! Sing more of
    "Former Delinquent Koshitan"!
SIGN    Deer Crackers
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
[08:50] Koshitan
    Huh? Wha? Sh-Shikanoko?!
SIGN    Deer Crackers
[08:54] Koshitan
    There're two Shikanokos?! B-But why?!
[08:57] Nokotan
    There're two of me? What are
    you talking about, Koshitan?
[09:00] Koshitan
    I-I mean... look!
[09:06] Koshitan
    She's speaking to it?
[09:08] Nokotan
    I guess he escaped from Hino Zoo.
[09:12] Koshitan
    E-Escaped?
[09:13] Nokotan
    I wonder if he was drawn here
    by the scent of deer crackers.
SIGN    Deer Crackers
SIGN    Deer Crackers
[09:16] Koshitan
    What the hell?!
SIGN    Deer Crackers
[09:18] Nokotan
    Hey, more importantly,
    what's this notebook of poems?
SIGN    Secret
[09:23] Nokotan
    Wow...
[09:24] Nokotan
    Hey, here's that original song you were
    just singing. Come on, sing the rest of it!
[09:28] Nokotan
    "Go forth, former delinquent Koshitan!"
[09:33] Narrator
    She had already dug her own grave,
[09:35] Narrator
    but Koshitan wanted to sink even further,
    never to be found again.
[09:40] Nokotan
    Notsu! Arrivedeerci!
[09:44] Narrator
    And so the deer went back to Hino Zoo.
SIGN    Kinkasan
    Koganeyama Shrine
SIGN    Kinkasan
    Sanriku-Fukko National Park
SIGN    Entrance Ceremony
[09:57] Koshitan
    Under the warm sunlight, the cherry
    blossoms are now in full bloom.
[10:04] Koshitan
    To all of our new students,
    congratulations on entering our school.
[10:08] Koshitan
    On behalf of the current student body,
    I welcome you from the bottom of my heart.
[10:14] Narrator
    Spring.
[10:15] Narrator
    Koshitan and the others became third-years.
[10:18] Narrator
    Apparently, they aren't stuck
    in the Sazae-san space-time dimension.
[10:21] Nokotan
    I sure wish I could've seen your greeting
    as the student council president.
[10:25] Nokotan
    You were probably super cool.
[10:28] Koshitan
    You bet I was.
[10:34] Koshitan
    Huh?! Wha?!
[10:36] Koshitan
    Hey, are you okay?! What are you doing here?
[10:38] Koshitan
    What's wrong? Do you not feel well?
[10:40] Koshitan
    Do you need me to take you
    to the nurse's office?
[10:42] Koshitan
    Or should I call an ambulance?! The police?!
[10:45] Koshitan
    JSDF?!
[10:59] Bashame
    Bashame's so silly. It was so warm
    that Bashame just dozed off to sleep.
[11:03] Koshitan
    I-I see...
[11:05] Koshitan
    Bashame?
[11:06] Koshitan
    I'm glad you're not feeling ill.
[11:09] Koshitan
    But may I ask what you're doing here?
[11:11] Koshitan
    You look like a new student...
[11:14] Bashame
    Bashame came to see you.
[11:17] Koshitan
    Huh?
SIGN    Bashame Meme
SIGN    Bashame Meme
[11:18] Bashame
    Bashame's name is Bashame Meme.
    Bashame's a first-year!
[11:22] Bashame
    Bashame idolizes you,
    so Bashame wanted to see you.
[11:27] Bashame
    Ukai-sensei said you might
    be here, so Bashame came!
[11:33] Koshitan
    Oho...
[11:34] Koshitan
    She must have been so overwhelmed by my
    pure and beautiful display as an honor student
[11:39] Koshitan
    at the entrance ceremony that
    she just had to come see me.
[11:42] Bashame
    Bashame wants to be like you.
[11:45] Bashame
    So... So please make Bashame your student!
[11:49] Koshitan
    I'm sorry. I mean,
    I appreciate the thought—
[11:52] Bashame
    Shikanoko-senpai!
[11:56] Koshitan
    Shikanoko-senpai?
[11:59] Koshitan
    Wh-Wha?!
[12:00] Koshitan
    You mean Shikanoko-san, not me?!
[12:02] Bashame
    Who are you?
[12:04] Koshitan
    Uh, I just spoke at the entrance ceremony!
    I'm the student council president!
[12:08] Bashame
    Bashame was waiting here because
    she wanted to see Shikanoko-senpai.
[12:13] Koshitan
    What's with her? Is she insane?!
[12:15] Koshitan
    Bashame-san, why are you
    interested in this buffoon—
[12:17] Koshitan
    ahem—in Shikanoko-san?
[12:20] Bashame
    Bashame is happy you asked!
[12:23] Bashame
    It happened before the entrance ceremony...
SIGN    Entrance Ceremony
[12:26] Bashame
    Bashame had collapsed in
    front of the school gates.
[12:29] Koshitan
    Say what now?
[12:31] (Flashback) Bashame
    So hungry... Bashame is finished.
[12:36] (Flashback) Bashame
    Aw... The entrance ceremony's
    gonna start soon.
[12:40] (Flashback) Bashame
    Bashame's going to die here, without even
    getting to do her high school debut.
[12:47] (Flashback) Nokotan
    Want some?
[12:48] (Flashback) Bashame
    Huh?
[12:55] (Flashback) Bashame
    Thank you very much.
[12:58] (Flashback) Nokotan
    Bye, now.
[13:01] (Flashback) Bashame
    Oh, wait!
[13:03] (Flashback) Bashame
    Um, what is your name?
[13:09] (Flashback) Nokotan
    My name's not worth rememberin', ma'am.
[13:14] Bashame
    And so... You saved Bashame's life,
    Shikanoko-senpai.
[13:20] Koshitan
    A life was actually saved by deer crackers?
[13:22] Bashame
    So during the entrance ceremony,
    Bashame was thinking the whole time...
[13:28] Bashame
    "Shikanoko-senpai's just so cool."
[13:30] Bashame
    "Bashame wants to be just like her...
    A cool deer just like her."
[13:35] Koshitan
    You want to be a deer?
[13:36] Bashame
    So please make Bashame your student!
[13:39] Koshitan
    Student? Seriously now, wha—
[13:42] Koshitan
    What's with all those butterflies?!
[13:44] Koshitan
    Shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo!
[13:46] Koshitan
    Shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo!
[13:48] Nokotan
    Notsu.
[13:49] Koshitan
    Hey, what are you gonna do about her?
[13:51] Nokotan
    Hm...
[13:53] Nokotan
    Did you say your name was Bashame?
[13:56] Bashame
    Yes! Bashame is Bashame!
[13:58] Nokotan
    Do you really have what
    it takes to become a deer?
[14:01] Koshitan
    Who the hell are you supposed to be?!
    And what do you even mean?!
[14:04] Bashame
    Yes! Bashame solemnly swears to
    become the best deer she can be!
[14:08] Koshitan
    Do you hear yourself?!
[14:10] Nokotan
    Then first, you'll have to join the Deer Club.
[14:13] Bashame
    Okay! Bashame shall join the Deer Club!
[14:16] Koshitan
    Would you stop moving this conversation
    along like I don't even exist?!
[14:19] Nokotan
    Koshitan's the president of
    the Deer Club and our owner,
[14:22] Nokotan
    so first, ask Koshitan to take care of you.
[14:27] Bashame
    Roger dodger!
[14:28] Koshitan
    Listen to the owner, damn it!
[14:31] Koshitan
    Huh...?
[14:33] Koshitan
    Uh, what?
[14:36] Anko
    Now that I've graduated middle school,
[14:39] Anko
    I'm finally a student at the
    same school as my sister.
[14:43] Anko
    I sent my application in to the Deer Club,
[14:45] Anko
    so I'll be able to be with my sister
    from morning to night, 24/7!
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
[14:50] Anko
    We'll be able to do all kinds of things!
[14:53] Anko
    Onee-cha...
[14:56] Bashame
    Koshitan-senpai, please
    take care of Bashame, too.
[15:00] Koshitan
    Hey, stop that...
[15:04] Anko
    Onee-chan?
[15:05] Koshitan
    A-Anko?!
[15:07] Anko
    What are you doing with a girl that's not me?
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
[15:12] Koshitan
    Eek!
[15:14] Narrator
    Congrats on getting two new
    members for the Deer Club.
SIGN    Kinkasan seen from
    Mount Gobansho
[15:23] Koshitan
    It's a long story as to how,
    but our club now has four members!
[15:26] Koshitan
    The Deer Club is finally an actual club!
[15:28] Koshitan
    Up until now, it was just some
    ambiguous club for messing around,
[15:31] Koshitan
    but now we'll get to do
    some real club activities!
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
[15:35] Koshitan
    All right, you three! Let's do this thing!
SIGN    Shikanoko Noko
    3rd-Year
SIGN    Position: Deer
[15:42] Anko
    Matching mugs with Onee-chan!
SIGN    An
SIGN    Koshi
SIGN    Koshi Anko
    1st-Year
SIGN    Position: Self-proclaimed
    caretaker to her sister
SIGN    Bashame Meme
    1st-Year
SIGN    Position: More than a person,
    less than a deer
[15:48] Bashame
    Yummy!
SIGN    Deer Crackers
SIGN    Koshi Torako
    3rd-Year
SIGN    Position: President
    and deer caretaker
[15:53] Koshitan
    This just won't do!
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
[15:57] Narrator
    Time to promote the Deer Club.
SIGN    Deer Club meeting!
[16:01] Koshitan
    And so, we will now begin our first meeting
    to discuss our club's course of action!
[16:06] Nokotan
    Something's happening.
[16:07] Anko
    She's cute when she's serious, too.
[16:10] Koshitan
    Shut your mouths!
[16:12] Koshitan
    You've done nothing but laze around
    since the new term started!
[16:14] Koshitan
    Don't you have any pride as
    members of the Deer Club?!
[16:16] Narrator
    Definition of said pride left open.
[16:18] Nokotan
    I dunno what to tell you.
[16:20] Koshitan
    You make me so sad...
[16:22] Koshitan
    We worked so hard to
    establish the Deer Club...
[16:24] Koshitan
    The Deer Club!
[16:26] Koshitan
    If people find out how lazy this club is...
[16:29] Koshitan
    We'll receive less club funds,
[16:30] Koshitan
    and even though I rose to the ranks
    of student council president,
[16:32] Koshitan
    my reputation will go into the gutter!
[16:35] Bashame
    Bashame was surprised that Koshitan-senpai
    used to be a delinquent,
[16:39] Bashame
    but seeing you be so frank
    is pretty funny, too.
[16:43] Anko
    That's another reason she's so cute.
SIGN    Deer Club meeting!
[16:45] Koshitan
    We can't go on like this!
[16:46] Koshitan
    We're all going to decide
    our goals for the year!
[16:49] Nokotan; Anko; Bashame
    Okay!
[16:50] Koshitan
    First off, Shikanoko!
SIGN    Deer Club meeting!
[16:53] Koshitan
    As our club's resident deer and their
    senpai deer, tell your kohai your goals!
[16:59] Nokotan
    Hm, let's see. I...
[17:02] Nokotan
    Oh, I wanna get in a tub
    filled with deer crackers!
[17:06] Koshitan
    Absolutely not.
[17:06] Nokotan
    Boo. That was fast.
[17:08] Koshitan
    Are you planning to waste all of
    our club funds on deer crackers?!
[17:11] Koshitan
    That's not what I'm asking here!
    Think of something better!
[17:14] Nokotan
    Hm... Other than that...
[17:17] Nokotan
    Yeah, I don't got any.
[17:19] Koshitan
    You're the one who made the
    damn Deer Club, aren't you?!
[17:22] Koshitan
    Why'd you even make it?!
[17:25] Koshitan
    She's useless. She's gonna set
    a bad example for the others.
SIGN    Deer Club meeting!
[17:28] Koshitan
    Next! Deer-in-training, Bashame!
[17:36] Koshitan
    Stop making rice in the clubhouse!
[17:38] Bashame
    Want some, Koshitan-senpai?
[17:39] Koshitan
    No!
[17:40] Koshitan
    You even said that you wanted to become a
    deer, so you must have some goals in mind!
[17:46] Bashame
    Hm... Lessee...
[17:50] Bashame
    Bashame wants to make a rice paddy!
[17:53] Koshitan
    Say what now?
[17:54] Koshitan
    A-A rice paddy...?
[17:55] Bashame
    A rice field will work, too.
[17:57] Koshitan
    Sorry, you've lost me.
[17:59] Bashame
    Bashame came to a realization.
[18:01] Bashame
    In order to survive as a deer in this
    savanna known as modern society,
[18:06] Bashame
    you need to be self-sufficient!
[18:09] Bashame
    So first, I'm gonna make a rice paddy
    right next to the clubhouse.
[18:12] Bashame
    Bashame's gonna be a good deer
    and grow some good rice!
[18:15] Koshitan
    Why the deer part?!
[18:17] Narrator
    Look forward to episode 10.
SIGN    Deer Club meeting!
[18:19] Koshitan
    Damn it. All of you are hopeless.
[18:21] Koshitan
    Anko, you're my only hope!
[18:24] Anko
    Hm, let's see...
[18:26] Anko
    I just joined the Deer Club so
    I could help you, Onee-chan.
[18:30] Anko
    So I guess I just want to stay by your
    side and continue to support you.
[18:34] Koshitan
    A-Anko! Well said, my dear sister!
[18:38] Koshitan
    You're the only one I can rely on!
[18:39] Anko
    And if possible, I want to make it
    so you can't survive without me.
[18:44] Koshitan
    Yikes! You're terrifying!
SIGN    Deer Club meeting!
[18:45] Koshitan
    Give me back the admiration
    I felt three seconds ago!
[18:49] Nokotan
    Well, what do you want to do, Koshitan?
[18:52] Koshitan
    Heh! Unlike you bozos, I've thought this out!
[18:56] Anko
    Okay, and?
[18:57] Koshitan
    I thought up a lot, so to start off...
[19:00] Nokotan
    To start off?
[19:01] Koshitan
    I want to make this clubhouse even cuter!
[19:06] Nokotan
    It's already plenty cute...
[19:09] Koshitan
    Nah, I mean, this building was
    originally an old shed, right?
[19:13] Koshitan
    We can just rebuild it to be cuter, and...
[19:15] Nokotan
    Koshitan's idea has the least
    to do with the Deer Club.
[19:18] Anko
    Should the student council president
    be so blatantly corrupt?
[19:21] Bashame
    I believe they call this pigeonholing.
[19:23] Koshitan
    Hey, it's not a bad thing to make
    the clubhouse more efficient!
[19:27] Koshitan
    It's the president's job to make
    this space more livable for deer!
[19:31] Nokotan
    In that case, I should be able
    to get my deer cracker bath.
[19:35] Bashame
    And Bashame's rice paddy!
[19:37] Anko
    And my wish to do all kinds of
    naughty things with you, Onee-chan!
[19:41] Koshitan
    I think your wording changed a bit, Anko!
[19:43] Nokotan
    Not to mention, you're wrong, Koshitan!
[19:46] Nokotan
    The Deer Club's duty is to take care of deer!
[19:49] Nokotan
    Since you're in charge of taking care of me,
    you should take care of me more!
[19:52] Nokotan
    At this rate, I'm going to
    get sick of you and leave!
[19:55] Koshitan
    What?!
[19:56] Anko
    Which would mean there would no
    longer be any deer in the Deer Club,
[20:00] Anko
    and the Deer Club would have to disband.
[20:02] Koshitan
    Uh...
[20:03] Bashame
    And then Koshitan-senpai will
    be questioned about her role
[20:06] Bashame
    in disbanding the Deer Club!
[20:08] Koshitan
    Uh, hello?!
[20:10] Nokotan
    So before we even discuss any course
    of action, I request we treat deer better!
SIGN    Take Care of Your Deer
[20:16] Koshitan
    I hate that she's actually making sense.
[20:19] Koshitan
    Damn it... Then what am I supposed to do?
[20:23] Nokotan
    Brush me!
[20:25] Koshitan
    That's so mundane.
[20:26] Nokotan
    Here.
[20:28] Nokotan
    Okay, bring it on!
[20:36] Bashame
    Oho! So to become an even better deer,
    brushing is essential!
[20:41] Bashame
    Bashame has learned something!
    You're amazing, Nokotan-senpai.
[20:46] Koshitan
    Honestly, I don't think
    brushing's that important.
[20:49] Bashame
    Koshitan-senpai! Bashame's head
    is open for business, too!
[20:52] Koshitan
    Seriously?
[20:54] Bashame
    Bashame has no interest in you,
[20:56] Bashame
    but if you absolutely insist on brushing
    Bashame's hair, Bashame won't mind!
[21:03] Koshitan
    Why are you talking down to me?!
    And I never even said that!
[21:09] Anko
    You girls—no, you vermin.
[21:13] Anko
    I guess you don't understand a thing
    about your caretaker, my sister.
[21:17] Anko
    But that makes sense.
[21:19] Anko
    You two vermin only just met her,
    while I have fifteen years' experience.
[21:23] Anko
    Yes, which means...
[21:26] Anko
    I have the highest aptitude to become
    the resident deer of the Deer Club!
[21:30] Koshitan
    When the hell did you become a deer?!
    I thought you were my caretaker?!
[21:35] Anko
    Come on, Onee-chan. Tell them.
[21:37] Anko
    You'd rather brush my hair than those 
    two invasive pests, right? Right?
[21:42] Koshitan
    Dear god, the pressure...
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
[21:44] Nokotan
    Then we'll just have to fight
    to see who's the real deer here!
[21:48] Anko
    Bring it on!
[21:49] Bashame
    Bashame won't lose!
[21:51] Koshitan
    We're supposed to be having
    a meeting here, damn it!
[21:53] Anko
    I'm the deer! Deer! Deer!
[21:58] Anko
    Deer! Deer!
[21:58] Neko
    Uh-huh...
[22:00] Neko
    So this is the pesky Deer Club...

E4 - The Deer Club in the Crosshairs
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Student Council Office
[00:00] Koshitan
    The new school term has finally begun.
[00:03] Koshitan
    I look forward to working with you all
    as members of the new student council.
[00:09] Koshitan
    Let us all work together so we can set
    good examples for the other students,
[00:13] Koshitan
    and let's do our best for the student
    council and Hinominami High School!
[00:17] Koshitan
    That's the stuff right there!
[00:19] Koshitan
    Shikanoko made me lose focus for a while,
    but this is what I've been striving for!
[00:25] Narrator
    Koshitan had no idea...
[00:27] Narrator
    that the student council had a secret.
[00:29] Narrator
    Namely...
[00:34] Narrator
    One of these three was determined
    to disband the Deer Club!
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
[00:39] Narrator
    Meanwhile! At the very Deer Club
    that they had set their sights on...
[00:43] Narrator
    Nokotan was taking a nap out in the sun.
SIGN    Napping in the sun
    is another club activity
SIGN    The Deer Club in the Crosshairs
SIGN    This is a work of fiction. The names of the people, places, and organizations
    are fictitious and in no way related to any real person or entity.
[02:25] Koshitan
    We've got some work piled up,
    so let's get right to it.
[02:29] Koshitan
    Let's see...
[02:30] Koshitan
    First, we should make some
    brochures for the new students.
[02:33] Koshitan
    We just need to print this...
[02:35] Neko
    President.
SIGN    Nekoyamada Neko, 3rd-Year
    Position: Vice President
[02:37] Neko
    I've already done the printing.
[02:40] Koshitan
    Huh?
[02:42] Koshitan
    Wait, you prepared all
    of these, Nekoyamada-san?
[02:45] Koshitan
    Wow, you're amazing!
[02:47] Neko
    Heh. You bet I am!
[02:49] Neko
    Thank me more and bow down to me!
[02:52] Neko
    Because my ambition is to defeat you!
SIGN    Koshi Torako
SIGN    Koshi Torako
SIGN    Koshi Torako
SIGN    To a School Filled with Smiles
SIGN    To a School Filled with Smiles
[03:00] (Flashback) Students
    Congratulations to our new
    student council president!
SIGN    To a bright future!
SIGN    Nekoyamada Neko
[03:03] (Flashback) Students
    Koshi-san! Look this way!
[03:04] Students
    Koshi-san!
[03:04] (Flashback) Neko
    What's her deal?
[03:06] Neko
    She gets good grades, and the
    whole student body loves her...
[03:10] (Flashback) Neko
    What's her deal?
SIGN    1st Hinominami High School
    Chitty Chitty King of Koshi Torako Competition!!
[03:12] Neko
    And apparently that nonsensical Deer Club
    is gaining popularity, too...
SIGN    1st Hinominami High School
    Chitty Chitty King of Koshi Torako Competition!!
[03:17] (Flashback) Neko
    What's her deal?!
[03:20] Neko
    I've made up my mind!
[03:22] Neko
    I'm gonna make her mess up,
    force the Deer Club into disbandment,
[03:25] Neko
    and drag her off her throne
[03:27] Neko
    as student council president
    and the most popular girl in school!
[03:31] Neko
    In order to do that...
[03:32] Neko
    I need to find her weakness!
[03:35] Narrator
    This series loves to immediately
     reveal who the enemy is.
[03:40] Koshitan
    Thanks, Nekoyamada-san.
    You always work so fast.
[03:44] Neko
    Honestly, I think you're just
    too slow at your job, President.
[03:47] Neko
    Who knows what's going to happen
    with someone like you in charge?
[03:51] Koshitan
    She's always grumpy,
    but she always does a great job.
[03:55] Koshitan
    I don't think she's a bad person.
[04:00] Neko
    Up we go...
[04:03] Neko
    Come on, President!
[04:05] Neko
    Stop dawdling and get to work!
[04:08] Koshitan
    She has a stepstool?!
[04:10] Koshitan
    How adorable!
[04:12] Neko
    Hey, are you listening?
[04:14] Neko
    Hey! Listen to me! Hey!
SIGN    Nekoyamada Neko
    Note: 132 cm in height
    Belongings: Personal stepstool
[04:18] Tanuki
    Um, President!
[04:19] Koshitan
    Huh?
[04:21] Tanuki
    I finished sorting these printouts!
SIGN    Tanukikoji Kinu, 2nd-Year
    Position: Secretary
[04:29] Koshitan
    Thanks, Tanukikoji-san. This is a huge help.
[04:32] Tanuki
    I-It's nothing! This is about
    all I can do, after all!
[04:35] Koshitan
    Then all that's left is...
[04:38] Koshitan
    Oh? I think the order
    might be a bit off here...
[04:41] Tanuki
    Huh?
[04:43] Tanuki
    I'm... so... so-so... sor...
    sorr... I'm so sorry...
[04:48] Koshitan
    She looks like her whole world just ended!
[04:51] Koshitan
    I-It's okay, Tanukikoji-san!
    We can fix it together!
[04:54] Tanuki
    No!
[04:55] Tanuki
    I shouldn't be in the student council
    when I can't even do simple desk work!
[04:59] Tanuki
    I should never have joined!
[05:01] Koshitan
    That's not true. Everyone messes up
    every once in a while.
[05:05] Tanuki
    But...
[05:06] Tanuki
    If... these printouts had gone to the
    first-years while still out of order...
[05:14] Tanuki
    The new school term would've
    been thrown into chaos!
[05:17] Koshitan
    Er, no. You're overreacting.
[05:20] Tanuki
    Because of me... we'd be denounced
    by the whole student body...
[05:24] Tanuki
    and trust in the student
    council would crumble...
SIGN    Because of One Member's Mistake...
[05:27] Tanuki
    And then Koshi-san would have to take
    responsibility for it and resign...
SIGN    Why Did They Disband?
SIGN    Disbanded!
    What Will Happen to the Student Council?!
[05:30] Tanuki
    then flee the school in shame.
[05:33] Koshitan
    Wow, your imagination is intense.
[05:36] Tanuki
    If that were to happen, I... I...
[05:40] Tanuki
    I'll cut open my stomach right
    in front of the student body!
[05:43] Koshitan
    You don't need to go that hard
    just to take responsibility!
[05:46] Koshitan
    Hm...
[05:47] Koshitan
    The student council members are
    honestly also pretty unique.
[05:51] Koshitan
    The only one left is...
SIGN    Council
SIGN    1st-Years Brochure
SIGN    Tsubameya Chiharu, 2nd-Year
    Position: Treasurer
[06:08] Koshitan
    B-By the way, why did you join the
    student council, Tsubameya-san?
[06:13] Tsubame
    Kinu invited me.
[06:15] Koshitan
    I-I see.
[06:19] Koshitan
    I-Is there anything you'd like
    to do as the student council?
[06:23] Tsubame
    Not really.
[06:34] Koshitan
    Huh? It's like talking to a wall!
[06:37] Koshitan
    What? Is this what modern
    high school girls are like?
[06:41] Narrator
    Koshitan is also a modern high school girl.
[06:43] Koshitan
    But we're going to have to work
    together for the next year.
[06:47] Koshitan
    I need to get closer to her.
[06:49] Tsubame
    Um...
[06:50] Koshitan
    Huh? Oh, yes?
[06:52] Tsubame
    There's something I'd like to ask you.
[06:55] Tsubame
    President, um... I...
[07:01] Tsubame
    I heard that you're also the
    president of the Deer Club.
[07:05] Tsubame
    Is that true?
[07:07] Koshitan
    Huh? Yes, I am... Why do you ask?
[07:10] Tsubame
    No reason.
[07:18] Koshitan
    Uh, what? Why did you ask?
[07:20] Koshitan
    Did the Deer Club's idiocy get out?!
[07:24] Koshitan
    I'm just gonna take this chance...
[07:28] Koshitan
    Tsubameya-san, did you possibly
    want to join the Deer Club?
SIGN    Glare
[07:34] Koshitan
    What?! No, really, what?!
[07:37] Koshitan
    What kind of emotion are you
    even feeling right now?!
[07:39] Neko
    Yes, excellent work, Tsubame and Tanuki!
[07:41] Neko
    Keep applying pressure
    to her, just like that.
[07:46] Neko
    At this rate, she'll reveal
    her weakness in no time!
SIGN    Ba-Bam
[07:53] Koshitan
    Whew. We managed to finish somehow.
[07:56] Koshitan
    Great job, everyone.
[07:58] Tanuki
    I'm so sorry that I'm so useless...
[08:01] Koshitan
    Oh, look at the time.
[08:03] Koshitan
    I need to hurry over to my club.
[08:06] Neko
    Oh, fine. I guess I'll just take care of
    locking up the student council office.
[08:11] Koshitan
    Oh, really?
[08:13] Koshitan
    Wow, thank you so much!
[08:14] Koshitan
    You're the best, Vice President!
    You're so reliable!
[08:19] Nokotan
    Ah.
[08:20] Nokotan
    Koshitan, you're late.
[08:22] Koshitan
    Shut it! I was late getting out
    of my student council duties.
[08:31] Neko
    Whew... We're finally done for the day.
[08:35] Neko
    Okay, we should head home to—
[08:38] Neko
    O-Oh, no!
[08:39] Neko
    I was so busy working that I couldn't
    do anything about the Deer Club!
[08:46] Narrator
    You've got this, Neko-chan!
[08:47] Narrator
    The battle to disband the Deer Club
    has only just begun!
SIGN    Ibaraki Prefecture
    Kashima Jingu
SIGN    Ibaraki Prefecture
    Kashima Jingu
    Mitarashi Pond
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
[09:02] Koshitan
    I, Koshi Torako, am the president of the
    Deer Club as well as the student council.
[09:07] Koshitan
    On the outside, I'm an honor student.
[09:09] Koshitan
    But the truth is, I'm a former delinquent,
[09:12] Koshitan
    and I'd be in huge trouble if anyone other
    than the Deer Club members found that out.
[09:16] Koshitan
    Yes! Even in times like this!
[09:18] Nokotan
    Ah, Koshitan. You've got a guest.
[09:23] Koshitan
    T-Tsubameya-san, welcome.
[09:26] Koshitan
    You've come to visit the Deer Club?
[09:29] Tsubame
    Thank you for having me.
[09:31] Koshitan
    Wait, what? What's even happening here?!
[09:33] Koshitan
    Why's Tsubameya at the Deer Club?!
[09:36] Koshitan
    Wait, is she actually interested
    in the Deer Club after all?
[09:40] Tsubame
    The Deer Club... is great.
[09:43] Koshitan
    Shoot! At this rate, she'll find out
    what I'm like in the Deer Club, and—
[09:48] Tsubame
    So, President... I guess
    you're a former delinquent.
[09:53] Koshitan
    In that case...
[09:54] Koshitan
    I'm just gonna have to act like an
    honor student in the Deer Club, too!
[09:59] Koshitan
    Shikanoko-san, may I have a moment?
[10:03] Koshitan
    Listen here, you.
[10:05] Koshitan
    Don't you dare pull anything while she's here.
[10:07] Nokotan
    Huh? How come?
[10:09] Koshitan
    You hear me?!
[10:10] Nokotan
    I don't really understand, but okie-doe-kie!
[10:13] Koshitan
    Tsubameya-san, thanks for
    visiting the Deer Club today—
[10:18] Bashame
    So, Tsubame-senpai, do you prefer
    Akita Komachi or Yumepirika rice?
[10:25] Anko
    I won't let anyone interfere with my
    messy relationship with my sister.
[10:36] Koshitan
    By the way, Tsubameya-san,
[10:38] Koshitan
    do you know what kind of activities
    the Deer Club participates in?
[10:42] Tsubameya
    Activities?
[10:43] Koshitan
    This might just work!
[10:46] Koshitan
    The Deer Club participates in all
    sorts of activities. For example...
[10:50] Nokotan
    We interact with actual deer sometimes,
    and this is what Koshitan does to them.
[10:55] Koshitan
    Take it off! Take off that costume!
[11:02] Koshitan
    Hey! I told you not to pull anything!
[11:04] Koshitan
    And why do you have this footage, anyway?!
[11:06] Nokotan
    It's a recording of episode 3 from last week.
[11:10] Nokotan
    All I did was show just how well
    you communicated with a wild deer
[11:13] Nokotan
    as a part of the Deer Club's activities.
[11:16] Koshitan
    What part of "anything" don't you understand?
    Also, that deer wasn't wild!
[11:20] Bashame
    Aha... A self-written original song
    is a true sign of one's shady past.
[11:26] Anko
    Well done, Onee-chan.
    All that singing in the bath paid off.
SIGN    Deer Crackers
SIGN    Deer Crackers
[11:33] Tsubame
    Shady past...
[11:34] Koshitan
    Y-You've got the wrong idea, Tsubameya-san!
[11:36] Koshitan
    I was just fooling around in this clip—
[11:39] Nokotan
    Fooling around?!
[11:40] Nokotan
    So you just considered that
    fooling around, Koshitan?!
[11:44] Nokotan
    I'm sure Tsunoda-san is
    crying right about now!
[11:46] Koshitan
    Shut your mouth and stop
    making this more complicated!
[11:48] Koshitan
    Also, who's this Tsunoda-san?
SIGN    Munch Munch
[11:52] Nokotan
    Oh, Tsunoda-san.
[11:53] Koshitan
    You again?! You're escaping way too often!
[11:57] Koshitan
    O-Oh, crap. Um... Um...
[12:00] Koshitan
    For now, have some tea!
    Please enjoy some tea!
[12:03] Tsubame
    Thank you very much.
[12:07] Koshitan
    But seriously... I really have
    no idea what she's thinking.
SIGN    Koshi
[12:12] Koshitan
    I don't think she's a bad person...
    but I definitely sense a wall between us.
[12:17] Koshitan
    Huh?
[12:19] Koshitan
    What?!
[12:20] Koshitan
    You friggin' moron!
    What the heck are you doing?!
[12:25] Nokotan
    What? I'm showing our guest hospitality.
[12:28] Koshitan
    Well, don't show hospitality with deer snacks!
[12:30] Koshitan
    I-I'm so sorry, Tsubameya-san.
    Our deer can be so strange at times—
[12:38] Koshitan
    Whut?
[12:39] Koshitan
    Uh... She seems really
    happy for some reason...
[12:43] Nokotan
    Aw... It was totally worth it
    if it made you this happy.
[12:49] Nokotan
    I know! You can have this special treat, too.
SIGN    Aaagghhh...
SIGN    Mrrraaaah...
SIGN    Splosh...
SIGN    Rustle Rustle
[12:54] Nokotan
    Here.
[12:54] Koshitan
    Grass?!
[12:55] Koshitan
    Come on! There's no human on Earth
    that'd enjoy receiving grass—
[13:02] Koshitan
    I was wrong! There's literally
    one right in front of me!
[13:05] Koshitan
    Th-This is weird.
    She hardly ever reacts to me,
[13:10] Koshitan
    but she seems so happy
    at anything Shikanoko does.
[13:13] Koshitan
    I want my kohai to be friendly with me, too!
[13:16] Koshitan
    I want them to respect me as their senpai!
[13:18] Koshitan
    I don't want to lose to Shikanoko!
[13:21] Narrator
    Koshitan did her best.
[13:23] Narrator
    As if coaxing a stubborn neighborhood dog,
[13:25] Narrator
    she did all she could to curry favor with the
    kohai who barely acknowledged her existence.
[13:31] Narrator
    But...
SIGN    One hour later...
SIGN    Cozy...
SIGN    Cozy...
[13:33] Narrator
    She was resoundingly defeated!
[13:35] Narrator
    Utterly and absolutely annihilated!
[13:39] Koshitan
    Could it be that she actually hates me?
[13:43] Tsubame
    Um...
[13:44] Tsubame
    I'll be taking my leave now.
[13:46] Tsubame
    Thank you for everything.
[13:49] Koshitan
    Oh... Okay.
[13:51] Nokotan
    Bye, now! Come by again sometime!
[13:55] Tsubame
    I will.
[14:00] Nokotan
    That girl's got quite the eye.
    She knows good grass when she sees it.
[14:06] Koshitan
    Status lowered... as a senpai...
[14:13] Tsubame
    I'm home.
[14:14] Tsubame's older brother
    Ah, Chiharu. Welcome home—Hm?!
[14:17] Tsubame's older brother
    What's with that look? Hey, Chiharu?!
[14:21] (Flashback) Nokotan
    Come by again sometime!
[14:24] Tsubame
    I was able to... I was able to speak
    with Senpai... With Nokotan-senpai!
[14:29] Narrator
    Allow me to explain!
[14:30] Narrator
    Tsubameya Chiharu may seem
    like a girl who's cool and calm...
[14:34] Narrator
    But in reality, she's a huge fan of Nokotan.
[14:38] Tsubame
    Nokotan-senpai was even cuter up close!
[14:42] Narrator
    Figuring that having her acquaintance
    Koshitan around would help break the ice,
[14:46] Narrator
    she built up her courage to visit Nokotan!
[14:49] Tsubame
    Come to think of it,
[14:51] Tsubame
    I was so envious of the president being
    able to speak to Noko-senpai so casually
[14:55] Tsubame
    that I kept glaring at her...
[14:58] Tsubame
    I hope I didn't make her feel bad.
[15:04] Narrator
    The next day...
[15:06] Koshitan
    I ain't gonna lose!
[15:07] Koshitan
    I ain't gonna lose to Shikanoko,
    out of all things!
SIGN    Kohai high school how to get along with
[15:09] Koshitan
    I'm gonna be a senpai
    respected by her kohai!
[15:20] Tanuki
    Oh, I-I'm so sorry!
[15:22] Koshitan
    Tanukikoji-san?
[15:24] Tanuki
    Oh, President...
[15:27] Tanuki
    I'm sorry, President...
    for dragging you along on my errand.
[15:33] Koshitan
    It's quite all right. I don't have
    anything on my hands right now,
[15:35] Koshitan
    and it'll be done quicker with the two of us.
[15:38] Narrator
    Senpai who are respected
    by their kohai, example one:
[15:41] Narrator
    Senpai who immediately help out.
[15:44] Tanuki
    President... Thank you very much.
SIGN    Feeeeels...
[15:47] Koshitan
    Let's see... You needed to
    count the equipment, right?
[15:52] Koshitan
    But you know, this is my first time
    entering the gym shed.
[15:55] Tanuki
    Me, too.
[15:56] Koshitan
    Oh! In manga, someone always
    gets trapped in one of these!
[16:01] Narrator
    Senpai who are respected
    by their kohai, example two:
[16:03] Narrator
    Senpai who tell casual jokes.
[16:06] Koshitan
    Wouldn't it be funny
    if we got trapped in here?
SIGN    Clack
[16:10] Boy Student A
    Hey, first-year! I told you to
    properly lock the shed down!
[16:14] Boy Student B
    Sorry, sir!
[16:16] Koshitan
    Wait—
[16:17] Koshitan
    We're still in here!
SIGN    Silence...
[16:23] Koshitan
    Tanukikoji-san, are you all right?
[16:26] Tanuki
    Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-Wha, wha,
    wha... Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-What...
[16:28] Tanuki
    What, what, what, what should we d-d-d-d-do?!
[16:30] Koshitan
    Yeah, she's not okay at all!
[16:32] Koshitan
    Man, talk about a cliché!
[16:36] Koshitan
    Hm... This isn't good.
[16:38] Koshitan
    Even if I were to yell for help,
    people rarely pass by this place.
[16:41] Koshitan
    And I left my phone in my bag.
[16:46] Koshitan
    Tanukikoji-san, what are you...
SIGN    Mom, Dad, Love-tan,
     Please forgive me
      for leaving you behind...
[16:49] Koshitan
    What?!
[16:49] Koshitan
    Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Stop that!
[16:52] Koshitan
    This isn't even funny!
[16:53] Tanuki
    B-But we may never get to leave this place!
[16:57] Koshitan
    Oh, come on! How did you even
    arrive at that conclusion?
[17:01] Tanuki
    Getting locked in a gym shed
    is a cliché in rom-coms.
[17:05] Tanuki
    But for me to be stuck in that
    situation with you, President,
[17:07] Tanuki
    is just too overwhelming and impossible.
[17:10] Tanuki
    Which means that the only thing left is...
[17:13] Tanuki
    The passing days with no one to help us...
[17:16] Tanuki
    Our bodies becoming weaker...
[17:18] Tanuki
    Our sanity leaving us...
[17:19] Tanuki
    And finally...
[17:20] Tanuki
    The inescapable grasp of death!
[17:22] Tanuki
    And then we'll end up haunting
    Hinominami High School,
[17:24] Tanuki
    our story passed down as urban legend until
    someone makes a really boring video about us!
[17:31] Koshitan
    She's literally floating...
[17:32] Koshitan
    Her train of thought's gotten totally derailed.
[17:34] Koshitan
    And her imagination is way out there.
[17:36] Koshitan
    I-It'll be okay.
[17:38] Koshitan
    Before any of that happens, someone will
    get worried about us and come looking.
[17:43] Koshitan
    Hm?
[17:45] Tanuki
    I hear something...
[17:47] Koshitan
    That voice...
[17:53] Koshitan
    Shikanoko?!
[17:54] Koshitan
    What the hell is she doing here?
[17:56] Koshitan
    Actually, that doesn't matter right now!
[17:59] Koshitan
    Hey, deer!
[18:00] Koshitan
    Er, Shikanoko-san! It's me! Koshi Torako!
SIGN    "Let's Become a Family in Hino"
SIGN    Lyrics, Vocals, Composition by Shikanoko Noko
SIGN    Oh, these poor deer crackers, separated from their pack
SIGN    Oh, these poor deer crackers, separated from their pack
SIGN    These poor deer crackers with nowhere to go
SIGN    These poor deer crackers with nowhere to go
SIGN    You were freezing all alone
SIGN    You were freezing all alone
SIGN    So I scooped you up and headed home
SIGN    So I scooped you up and headed home
SIGN    On that night
SIGN    On that night
[18:32] Koshitan
    Shikanoko-san?!
    Wait, what even is this song?!
SIGN    Oh, we're just a deer and her lone deer crackers
SIGN    Oh, we're just a deer and her lone deer crackers
SIGN    Shoulder to shoulder, we felt a true bond
SIGN    Shoulder to shoulder, we felt a true bond
SIGN    It was clearly there
SIGN    It was clearly there
SIGN    I felt like we became family
SIGN    I felt like we became family
[18:51] Koshitan
    Hello?! Can you hear me, Shikanoko-san?!
SIGN    But the loneliness never truly left your eyes
SIGN    But the loneliness never truly left your eyes
SIGN    Deep down, I knew
SIGN    Deep down, I knew
SIGN    That Hino just wouldn't work out
SIGN    That Hino just wouldn't work out
SIGN    That the deer of Nara
SIGN    That the deer of Nara
SIGN    Were
SIGN    Were
SIGN    Calling for you
SIGN    Calling for you
[19:11] Koshitan
    Wait, you just threw it away!
[19:12] Koshitan
    I want a refund of my feels!
[19:14] Koshitan
    The hell is this song?!
[19:15] Nokotan
    I've got a shot at Kohaku...
    No, at the Record Taisho Awards!
[19:19] Koshitan
    The hell you do!
[19:20] Nokotan
    Well, anyway. Now's not the time for that.
[19:22] Koshitan
    Hey! Damn it! Come back here!
[19:26] Koshitan
    She left...
[19:29] Koshitan
    I guess we're just going to have to
    patiently wait for someone to save us,
[19:31] Koshitan
    Tanukikoji-san.
[19:33] Koshitan
    Huh? Tanukikoji-san? Where'd you go?
[19:36] Tanuki
    I'm right here...
[19:37] Koshitan
    U-Uh... But why?
[19:39] Tanuki
    I'm... reflecting on my actions.
[19:41] Koshitan
    Reflecting?
[19:43] Tanuki
    It must be my fault that
    we got trapped in here.
[19:46] Tanuki
    I'm being punished.
[19:49] Koshitan
    You can talk to me.
[19:50] Tanuki
    Huh?
[19:51] Koshitan
    I'm not sure what you'd be
    getting punished for...
[19:54] Koshitan
    But I might be able to
    help you out in some way.
[20:00] Tanuki
    President...
[20:01] Narrator
    Senpai who are respected
    by their kohai, example three:
[20:04] Narrator
    Senpai that are willing to hear you out.
[20:06] Tanuki
    The other day, when my class was
    doing self-introductions...
[20:10] Koshitan
    Self-introductions?
[20:12] Tanuki
    I've barely ever cooked anything in my life,
[20:15] Tanuki
    but I lied and said my hobby was cooking.
[20:18] Koshitan
    Why is her crime so damn adorable?
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Though she's acting like an honor student, deep down, she's a delinquent whose whole existence is a lie
SIGN    Rattle Rattle
[20:25] Tanuki
    The dish I'm best at is eggs
    over rice (shells included)!
[20:28] Tanuki
    And yet, I had the nerve
    to join the student council,
[20:31] Tanuki
    so I'm being punished for lying!
[20:33] Koshitan
    You are entirely too negative!
[20:35] Koshitan
    It's okay! Just come out!
[20:37] Tanuki
    No! I'm going to repent in here
    for the rest of my life!
[20:43] Koshitan
    Th-The door!
[20:50] Koshitan
    Sh-Shikanoko-san!
[20:53] Nokotan
    Oh, hey, it's Koshitan.
[20:57] Koshitan
    D-Did you come to save us?
[21:00] Nokotan
    What are you talking about?
[21:01] Nokotan
    I just came to get some of the mushrooms
    I was secretly growing in the vaulting box.
[21:06] Koshitan
    You've seriously been doing that?!
[21:08] Nokotan
    What are you doing in here, Koshitan?
[21:11] Nokotan
    Playing hide-and-seek?
[21:12] Koshitan
    Huh? No, I wasn't, uh...
[21:15] Nokotan
    Wait a minute... Were you after my mushrooms?
[21:17] Koshitan
    The hell I was!
[21:19] Nokotan
    Of course not! I was so excited
    to finally pick them today!
[21:30] Nokotan
    Are you a poacher?!
[21:32] Tanuki
    Eek! I'm so sorry!
[21:34] Koshitan
    Says the one who's illegally
    growing mushrooms!
[21:37] Narrator
    Koshitan and Tanuki made it out alive!
[21:47] Tanuki
    Seconds, please.
[21:48] Koshitan
    Huh?
[21:50] Koshitan
    Huh?!
[21:52] Koshitan
    Huh? Huh? Huh?
SIGN    Student Council Office
[21:58] Neko
    Why isn't anyone here?!

E5 - Grab Her Weakness!!
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    This is a work of fiction. The names of the people, places, and organizations
    are fictitious and in no way related to any real person or entity.
[00:01] NARRATOR
    The former-delinquent-turned-
    pseudo-honor-student Koshitan
[00:04] NARRATOR
    occasionally wakes up early 
    to keep up her honor student pretense.
[00:08] KOSHITAN
    I feel like someone out there
    is sarcastically dissing me.
[00:12] KOSHITAN
    Behold.
[00:13] KOSHITAN
    That weird deer girl has somewhat
    thrown me off my game lately,
[00:17] KOSHITAN
    but when I, the prim and proper
    Koshi Torako, have my wits about me,
[00:20] KOSHITAN
    I shine brightest in the morning sun.
[00:27] KOSHITAN
    A letter?
[00:27] NOKOTAN
    A letter?
SIGN    Grab Her Weakness!!
[02:06] NOKOTAN
    Notsu!
[02:06] KOSHITAN
    What're you doing here so early?
[02:08] KOSHITAN
    You usually barely make it
    in the nick of time!
[02:11] NOKOTAN
    I rolled over in bed this morning,
    and then here I was.
[02:14] KOSHITAN
    How much do you toss and turn?!
[02:15] NOKOTAN
    Roll, roll.
[02:16] NARRATOR
    This much.
[02:18] KOSHITAN
    Anyway, I can't believe you managed to sneak
    up on me, the former top delinquent in Hino.
[02:23] KOSHITAN
    Where have my kill-or-be-killed instincts gone?
[02:26] NOKOTAN
    I'm always in life-or-death situations, too.
SIGN    Hunters' Association
[03:00] NOKOTAN
    Notsu!
[03:08] KOSHITAN
    Pull the other one!
    What are you, some kind of fugitive?!
[03:10] NOKOTAN
    A letter in your shoe locker...
[03:14] NOKOTAN
    You think it's a love letter?
[03:15] KOSHITAN
    L-Love...
[03:19] NOKOTAN
    Hm? First time getting one?
[03:22] KOSHITAN
    A-As if!
[03:23] KOSHITAN
    I know a girl as pretty as myself might seem
    like she's out of everyone's league...
[03:28] KOSHITAN
    But I figured I'd be getting one of these soon.
[03:32] NOKOTAN
    Stare...
[03:33] KOSHITAN
    What's with that look?
[03:34] KOSHITAN
    What, have you gotten 
    love letters before, then?
[03:38] NOKOTAN
    Nope!
[03:39] KOSHITAN
    You haven't?!
[03:41] KOSHITAN
    Why are you acting all high-and-mighty, then?
[03:44] NOKOTAN
    I haven't yet,
[03:46] NOKOTAN
    but I feel an aura coming
    from my locker as we speak.
[03:50] NOKOTAN
    The aura of another love letter.
[03:52] KOSHITAN
    Wha?
[03:54] NOKOTAN
    My antlers speak of it.
[03:56] KOSHITAN
    I find that hard to believe.
[03:59] KOSHITAN
    But...
[04:00] KOSHITAN
    After what happened the other day...
[04:03] NOKOTAN
    The time is now!
[04:04] NOKOTAN
    Open!
[04:07] KOSHITAN
    You got nothing.
[04:09] KOSHITAN
    She's in pain! Lots of it!
[04:11] KOSHITAN
    D-Don't let it get to ya.
[04:14] KOSHITAN
    These things are all about
    timing and happenstance.
[04:19] NOKOTAN
    ...ever.
[04:19] KOSHITAN
    Huh?
[04:20] NOKOTAN
    Whatever! I bet the TV stations,
    streaming companies, and Kodansha
[04:24] NOKOTAN
    are all getting truckloads
    of fan mail addressed to me!
[04:28] KOSHITAN
    Wh-What're you even talking about?
[04:30] NARRATOR
    Please send her some, if you'd like.
[04:32] NOKOTAN
    So? Are you gonna go out with the sender?
[04:36] KOSHITAN
    Huh? Go out?
[04:38] KOSHITAN
    Hang on. We don't know
    that it's a love letter yet.
[04:41] KOSHITAN
    A-A-And I don't know about
    jumping straight to going out...
[04:44] NOKOTAN
    Get over yourself, you big baby!
[04:47] NOKOTAN
    You might be fine with dodging the question,
[04:49] NOKOTAN
    but imagine how that'd make the sender feel!
[04:52] NOKOTAN
    You need to give this some serious thought!
[04:55] KOSHITAN
    F-Facts and logic!
[04:59] NOKOTAN
    Take your time, meet them halfway,
[05:02] NOKOTAN
    and if you end up feeling
    the spark, too, then...
[05:07] NOKOTAN
    Love and be loved. Do it for me, too.
[05:10] KOSHITAN
    Shikanoko...
[05:12] KOSHITAN
    You're right. They put their
    heart and soul into this.
[05:16] KOSHITAN
    I should take it with an open heart
    and an open mind—
SIGN    Throwdown Challenge
[05:21] KOSHITAN
    Damn it all!
[05:27] KOSHITAN
    Say something!
[05:28] KOSHITAN
    If you wanna challenge me to a fight,
    look me in the eye, woman-to-woman!
[05:31] KOSHITAN
    Not that I really thought it was a love
    letter or anything! Not for one second!
[05:36] KOSHITAN
    Say something, seriously!
[05:42] BADGIRL
    Glad you had the guts to show your face,
    Koshi Torako, the Wild Beast of Hino!
[05:46] KOSHITAN
    And I'm glad to see you
    so full of life this morning.
[05:49] BADGIRL
    Didja think that was a love letter?
    Made your heart skip a beat, did it?
[05:53] BADGIRL
    I see you have some weird-ass new pet, too.
[05:57] KOSHITAN
    Pet?
[06:00] KOSHITAN
    She means you!
[06:02] KOSHITAN
    Why'd you come with me, anyway?
[06:04] BADGIRL
    Not that it matters.
[06:05] BADGIRL
    I'm gonna kick your butt and take the title
    of Hino's baddest badass for myself!
[06:10] KOSHITAN
    Hate to break it to you, but I live life
    on the straight and narrow now.
[06:14] KOSHITAN
    I can't have you stalking me, though,
[06:17] KOSHITAN
    so I'll end you right now!
[06:21] KOSHITAN
    Uh, why are you taking up a fighting stance?
[06:24] NOKOTAN
    I'll help you out. Deer Club sisterhood.
[06:27] NOKOTAN
    Bring it!
[06:28] KOSHITAN
    I don't need your help!
[06:29] NOKOTAN
    Koshitan, did you forget who I am?
[06:34] NOKOTAN
    I'm a deer-human hybrid.
[06:37] NOKOTAN
    The ultimate primate...
[06:41] NOKOTAN
    a deer.
[06:41] KOSHITAN
    Not sounding too ultimate to me!
[06:44] NARRATOR
    Maybe she should try saying that
    after she's beaten Yoshida Saori.
[06:48] BADGIRL
    Oh, very funny! But you won't be
    goofing off for long!
[07:02] BADGIRL
    Hi-yah!
[07:04] BADGIRLA
    Gotcha!
[07:16] KOSHITAN
    They have the numbers
    and the weapons advantage.
[07:18] KOSHITAN
    Only so much I can do unarmed.
[07:23] NOKOTAN
    Use this, Koshitan!
[07:27] KOSHITAN
    The hell am I supposed to do with this?!
[07:54] NOKOTAN
    Bombing the school gym?
[07:56] NOKOTAN
    That's my former delinquent, Koshitan!
[07:58] KOSHITAN
    It's your damn fault!
    And it sent you flying, too!
SIGN    Daily Hino
SIGN    Hino High Bombed
SIGN    Miraculously No Casualties
[08:05] KOSHITAN
    I sure am glad this is a
    braindead comedy anime.
SIGN    Niigata Prefecture
    Yahikoyama Panorama Tower
SIGN    Biked here
[08:14] KOSHITAN
    Ever since she transferred in,
[08:17] KOSHITAN
    she's made my life a living hell.
[08:20] KOSHITAN
    And now I've even made the papers.
[08:23] KOSHITAN
    I'm left with no choice.
[08:25] KOSHITAN
    I must dig up dirt on her!
[08:27] KOSHITAN
    So here I am, tailing her after school
    on a day we're not meeting at club.
[08:33] KOSHITAN
    And she ain't doing squat.
[08:36] KOSHITAN
    She's been sitting there for an hour.
[08:39] KOSHITAN
    Is she waiting for someone?
    Just killing time?
[08:41] KOSHITAN
    What is she doing?
[08:43] KOSHITAN
    Wait, don't tell me...
[08:45] KOSHITAN
    Is she homeless?
[08:53] NOKOTAN
    I'm hungry.
[08:55] KOSHITAN
    Bingo!
[08:57] KOSHITAN
    So she has no home and
    no money to even buy food?
[09:01] NOKOTAN
    Guess I'll have a snack.
[09:03] KOSHITAN
    Those flavor- and aroma-less
    antlers are all she has to eat?
[09:07] KOSHITAN
    I'm starting to feel sorry for her.
[09:10] KOSHITAN
    Oh, well. Guess I'll buy her dinner.
[09:17] NOKOTAN
    Yum.
[09:17] KOSHITAN
    That's nuts!
[09:19] NARRATOR
    Nope, bananas.
[09:20] KOSHITAN
    C-Calm down.
[09:22] KOSHITAN
    I've just started tailing her.
[09:25] KOSHITAN
    I'll let her roam free...
[09:26] NOKOTAN
    I'm out.
[09:28] KOSHITAN
    ...and get dirt on her for sure!
[09:31] NOKOTAN
    I should get going.
[09:35] KOSHITAN
    Oh? Going home?
[09:37] KOSHITAN
    Right, figures she'd have somewhere to go.
SIGN    Hino Zoo
[09:51] NOKOTAN
    Notsu, Tsunoda-san.
[09:53] TSUNODA
    Notsu.
[09:56] KOSHITAN
    Hold up. Is this her home?
SIGN    Deer
[09:59] KOSHITAN
    She's living with Tsunoda?!
[10:00] KOSHITAN
    Either way,
[10:02] KOSHITAN
    is this a... deer exhibit?
[10:06] KOSHITAN
    What's with this bizarre exhibit?
[10:08] KOSHITAN
    Have you lost your mind, Hino Zoo?!
[10:10] GIRLFRIEND
    Hey, deer!
[10:13] BOYFRIEND
    How cute.
[10:14] NOKOTAN
    Welcome to Hino Zoo.
[10:16] BOYFRIEND
    It talked!
[10:17] GIRLFRIEND
    It's so smart!
[10:18] KOSHITAN
    Wait, you're allowed to talk?
[10:21] NOKOTAN
    This here's a deer exhibit.
[10:24] KOSHITAN
    Whoa, now she stepped up.
[10:25] BOYFRIEND
    It stood up!
[10:26] GIRLFRIEND
    Deer are amazing!
[10:28] KOSHITAN
    What do they think deer are?
[10:29] NARRATOR
    The very concept of deer
    begins to shift in her mind.
[10:32] NOKOTAN
    In the deer corner, you can feed a deer.
[10:35] GIRLFRIEND
    I'd like to try.
[10:37] BOYFRIEND
    Yeah, let's do it.
[10:38] NOKOTAN
    That'll be 300 yen per person.
[10:39] KOSHITAN
    You're charging?!
[10:44] NOKOTAN
    Here.
[10:45] GIRLFRIEND
    Wow! I've never seen deer
    crackers in real life before!
[10:48] GIRLFRIEND
    Which ones do I feed?
[10:51] GIRLFRIEND
    Hey, a fawn?
[10:53] GIRLFRIEND
    Come here.
[10:54] GIRLFRIEND
    Deer cracker for you.
[10:56] GIRLFRIEND
    Say "aah"...
[11:01] GIRLFRIEND
    What's with this deer? Unhand me!
SIGN    The bananas weren't enough
[11:05] KOSHITAN
    She sells deer crackers
    and then eats them herself?
[11:07] GIRLFRIEND
    Quit it already!
[11:09] GIRLFRIEND
    And stop licking my hand! Gross!
[11:09] KOSHITAN
    Forget dirt. I'm only
    digging up more questions.
[11:12] KOSHITAN
    And, heck...
[11:14] KOSHITAN
    Why's everyone just accepting
    her as part of the exhibit?
[11:17] KOSHITAN
    Am I the crazy one?
[11:19] GIRLFRIEND
    Yikes, what the heck?
[11:22] PA
    It's time for Hino Zoo's
    famous deer procession.
[11:28] PA
    Please leave ample room
    in the walkways as you wait.
[11:30] KOSHITAN
    Deer procession?
[11:40] KOSHITAN
    Talk about a wild ride!
[11:42] KOSHITAN
    Wh-What is this?
[11:43] KOSHITAN
    Don't these things usually
    feature smaller animals?
[11:47] MITSU
    Oh, how adorable. And those
    antlers are magnificent.
[11:51] MITSU
    The deer are opening hearts everywhere.
[11:53] KOSHITAN
    Who the heck are you?
[11:55] MITSU
    Feast your eyes.
[11:56] KOSHITAN
    Huh?
[11:58] KOSHITAN
    Now what?!
[12:04] KOSHITAN
    What's with this illusion?
[12:07] KOSHITAN
    And it's a hit for some reason!
[12:09] KIDA
    The Deer-neesama's wearing a sailor uniform!
[12:13] KOSHITAN
    The hell's a Deer-neesama?!
[12:14] KIDB
    It's like I'm in a deer meadow.
[12:17] KOSHITAN
    And what's a deer meadow?
[12:19] MITSU
    "The Chosen One will descend upon deer
    territory, clad in sailor uniform."
[12:25] MITSU
    The legend was true!
[12:28] KOSHITAN
    That wasn't foreshadowed at all, though!
[12:31] NOKOTAN
    Huh? Koshitan!
[12:32] KOSHITAN
    Ack.
[12:33] NOKOTAN
    What're you doing here?
[12:36] NOKOTAN
    And why're you dressed like that?
[12:39] KOSHITAN
    Uh, I was just walking around
    'cause I was bored.
[12:42] KOSHITAN
    The zoo can be good fun every now and then.
[12:45] NOKOTAN
    Huh...
[12:46] KOSHITAN
    Wh-What?
[12:48] NOKOTAN
    Wait, Koshitan, are you...
[12:51] NOKOTAN
    a fan of mine?
[12:53] KOSHITAN
    Don't push your luck.
[12:55] PA
    Thank you for visiting Hino Zoo today.
[12:59] PA
    We will be closing at 5 PM.
[13:03] PA
    We eagerly await your next visit.
[13:07] NOKOTAN
    Great work, everydeer.
[13:08] NOKOTAN
    Man, work sure wore me out again today.
[13:12] KOSHITAN
    "Work"?
[13:13] KOSHITAN
    So she doesn't live here.
[13:17] NOKOTAN
    I should treat myself to some boba
    on the way home.
[13:20] KOSHITAN
    Do you have the money for that?
[13:22] NOKOTAN
    Huh? Yeah?
[13:26] KOSHITAN
    What's with the fat stacks?!
[13:28] KOSHITAN
    Why'd you look so sad
    back in the park, then?!
[13:31] NOKOTAN
    Why are you mad?
[13:33] KOSHITAN
    I'm not mad!
[13:34] NOKOTAN
    Come on.
[13:36] NOKOTAN
    Let's get boba together.
[13:38] KOSHITAN
    Huh? Wh-Why would I go with you?
[13:46] KOSHITAN
    Delicious!
[13:46] DEER
    Deerlicious.
[13:48] NOKOTAN
    Right? The boba tea here is yummy.
[13:54] NOKOTAN
    Delicious!
[13:55] DEER
    Deerlicious.
[14:02] NARRATOR
    After Koshitan experienced that staple
    of youth, grabbing a bite after school...
[14:08] NOKOTAN
    See you tomorrow!
[14:11] KOSHITAN
    Yeah.
[14:14] NARRATOR
    ...she completely forgot about tailing
    Nokotan and went home with a smile.
[14:19] NARRATOR
    Easy as ever.
SIGN    Niigata Prefecture
    Yahiko Shrine
    Deer Garden
SIGN    Niigata Prefecture, Yahikoyama
    Yahiko Shrine
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
[14:32] NARRATOR
    Nekoyamada Neko, student council
    vice president, 132 cm tall.
[14:38] NARRATOR
    She's plotting to abolish the Deer Club
    and bring about Koshitan's downfall.
[14:43] NEKO
    The president got summoned by her
    homeroom teacher. She shouldn't be here.
[14:46] NEKO
    Now's my chance.
[14:48] NEKO
    To fulfill my ambition of becoming
    president and the school's madonna...
[14:54] NEKO
    Today I'll dig up dirt on her!
[14:59] NOKOTAN
    Notsu.
[15:02] NEKO
    Wh-Whoa! Don't scare me like that!
[15:06] NOKOTAN
    Right back at ya.
[15:08] NOKOTAN
    What were you doing there?
[15:10] NEKO
    Huh? O-Oh, uh... Well...
[15:13] NOKOTAN
    Oh!
[15:14] NEKO
    What?
[15:15] NOKOTAN
    Could it be...
[15:17] NOKOTAN
    You want to join?
[15:20] NEKO
    Wha?
[15:21] NEKO
    Uh, no.
[15:22] NOKOTAN
    You should've said so!
[15:25] NOKOTAN
    Be right there.
[15:27] NEKO
    Okay, time to scram.
[15:28] NOKOTAN
    Thanks for waiting!
SIGN    Welcome to the Deer Club
[15:31] NOKOTAN
    Welcome to the Deer Club!
[15:33] NEKO
    We got a clown in the house!
[15:38] NOKOTAN
    It's so great that the Deer Club's
    getting a new member.
[15:43] NOKOTAN
    What made you want to join?
[15:44] NEKO
    Uh, actually...
[15:44] NOKOTAN
    You realized that deer are gonna
    take over the world, too?
[15:48] NOKOTAN
    So you wanted to be closer to deer?
[15:49] NOKOTAN
    Deer are so great, huh?
[15:51] NEKO
    Wait—
[15:51] NOKOTAN
    What do you like about deer? The antlers?
[15:53] NOKOTAN
    Oh, want a deer cracker?
[15:55] NEKO
    Th-There's been a mewsunderstanding!
[15:58] NEKO
    Mews... mews... mews...
[16:01] NOKOTAN
    Hmm? What do you mean?
[16:03] NEKO
    I-I don't want to join or anything.
[16:07] NEKO
    I was, uh... Right. I was just passing by.
[16:11] NEKO
    So I'm sorry, but I'm not going to join.
[16:14] NOKOTAN
    Gah!
[16:16] NEKO
    Huh?
[16:18] NOKOTAN
    Oh... I jumped the gun, huh?
[16:22] NEKO
    She's in pain. Lots of it.
[16:25] NOKOTAN
    Sorry about that. Not many people
    want to join, so I got all hyped up.
[16:30] NOKOTAN
    I went overboard and made
    myself look like a clown.
[16:34] NOKOTAN
    Laugh at me if you want!
[16:37] NEKO
    Th-The guilt... It's killing me.
[16:40] NEKO
    Oh, I know.
[16:41] NEKO
    While I'm here, I think I'll join
    on a trial basis, maybe?
[16:45] NEKO
    I mean, it might help me find
    some dirt on the president.
[16:49] NOKOTAN
    Really?
[16:50] NEKO
    And she seems dumb. A perfect pawn.
[16:54] NOKOTAN
    Okay, time for introductions.
[16:56] NOKOTAN
    I'm Shikanoko Noko. Call me Nokotan.
[17:00] NEKO
    Nekoyamada Neko. I'm a third-year.
[17:03] NOKOTAN
    Nice to meetcha, Shikayamada-san!
[17:05] NEKO
    Could you not casually deer-ify me?!
[17:07] NARRATOR
    Full name Shikayamada Shika, I presume.
[17:11] NOKOTAN
    Okay, let's get to the usual deer regime.
[17:15] NOKOTAN
    You should join us while you're here,
    Shikayamada-san.
[17:19] NEKO
    The heck is the deer regime?!
[17:20] NARRATOR
    Looks like she's made her peace
    with being Shikayamada.
[17:23] NOKOTAN
    But first, let me introduce you
    to the other members.
[17:27] NOKOTAN
    This here's the Deer Club's second deer,
[17:29] NOKOTAN
    Bashame.
[17:30] BASHAME
    Bashame's Bashame Meme.
[17:32] BASHAME
    The Deer Club's deer-in-training,
    a more-than-human-less-than-deer first-year.
[17:37] BASHAME
    Nom.
[17:38] NEKO
    Why's she eating rice?
[17:42] BASHAME
    Also, Bashame wants to make a rice paddy soon.
[17:44] NEKO
    Who are you even talking to?
[17:46] NEKO
    W-Well, I'm a third-year, which makes me
    your senpai. Nice to meet you.
[17:50] BASHAMA
    Nice to meet you, too.
[17:52] BASHAMA
    But Bashame's your senpai
    in deerdom. Don't forget that.
[17:58] NEKO
    Huh... Uh, okay.
[18:01] NEKO
    Sorry about that.
[18:02] NARRATOR
    When in Rome, do as the Romans do.
[18:04] NARRATOR
    When in the Deer Club, do as the deer dee.
[18:07] NOKOTAN
    And this is our third deer,
[18:09] NOKOTAN
    Anko.
[18:10] ANKO
    I don't want you calling me a deer.
[18:13] NOKOTAN
    Huh? But you said you were.
[18:16] ANKO
    The only one who can call me
    a deer is Onee-chan.
[18:19] ANKO
    I'm a deer for her and her alone!
[18:22] NEKO
    Uh, you're the student council
    president's little sister, right?
[18:26] ANKO
    Yes, what about it?
[18:27] NEKO
    What do you mean, a deer for her alone?
[18:30] ANKO
    I meant what I said.
[18:32] ANKO
    Is there a problem?
[18:34] NEKO
    Nope. No problems.
[18:37] NEKO
    None at all.
[18:39] NOKOTAN
    Okay, let's begin the deer regime.
[18:43] NOKOTAN
    First...
[18:44] NOKOTAN
    Here.
[18:48] NEKO
    Uh...
[18:49] NEKO
    Those are deer crackers, right?
[18:53] NEKO
    What about them?
SIGN    Deer Crackers
[18:57] NEKO
    Ow! What was that for?!
[18:59] NOKOTAN
    Shikayamada...
[19:01] NOKOTAN
    You call yourself an aspiring deer?!
[19:03] NEKO
    Not sure how you want me to respond to that.
[19:05] NEKO
    You just held out some deer crackers
    and said nothing else.
[19:10] NOKOTAN
    Bashame. You're the senpai.
[19:12] NOKOTAN
    Show her how it's done.
[19:18] NOKOTAN
    A deer, upon finding deer crackers,
    must consume them post-haste.
[19:22] NOKOTAN
    This is basic deernomics.
[19:24] NOKOTAN
    And this is training to hone
    that response in you.
[19:26] NOKOTAN
    Come at me like we're on
    a battlefield from now on.
[19:29] NEKO
    Y-Yessir.
[19:31] NARRATOR
    I pray that you never have to go into battle.
[19:35] NOKOTAN
    Next up, Anko.
[19:37] ANKO
    I only eat deer crackers Onee-chan offers me.
[19:40] ANKO
    Why isn't she here, anyway?
[19:42] NOKOTAN
    Our homeroom teacher wanted to talk to her.
    She might not make it today.
[19:46] ANKO
    You should've told me that at the start!
[19:48] ANKO
    I can sneak into her room all I want now!
[19:52] ANKO
    And, once inside,
    I can do whatever my heart desires!
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
SIGN    Deer Crackers
[19:56] NEKO
    Huh? She's leaving in the middle of training?
[19:59] NEKO
    Are there no rules here?
[20:01] NOKOTAN
    Next up, the antler regime!
[20:02] NEKO
    Antler regime?!
[20:03] NOKOTAN
    A deer must be able to grow antlers at will.
[20:07] NOKOTAN
    Like this.
[20:08] NEKO
    I feel like that's a special skill
    even among deer!
[20:11] BASHAME
    Nokotan-senpai.
[20:13] BASHAME
    Bashame daresays the antler regime
    might be too advanced for a newbie.
[20:15] NEKO
    Like you're not a newbie yourself!
[20:18] NOKOTAN
    Bashame, I see where you're coming from.
[20:21] NOKOTAN
    But one look told me
    all I needed to know earlier.
[20:25] NOKOTAN
    This girl here?
[20:27] NOKOTAN
    She has potential to be the real deer.
[20:31] NOKOTAN
    Okay, time to train!
[20:32] NEKO
    R-Right.
[20:35] NOKOTAN
    Close your eyes and picture it.
[20:38] NOKOTAN
    Picture antlers growing out of your head.
[20:41] NEKO
    Antlers growing...
[20:43] NOKOTAN
    Right. Relax.
[20:45] NEKO
    Picture antlers growing...
    Picture antlers growing...
[20:55] NEKO
    Wait, we get your antlers growing?!
[20:57] BASHAME
    H-How is a newbie doing this?
[21:00] NOKOTAN
    Way to go, Shikayamada.
[21:02] NOKOTAN
    I didn't expect you to be such a prodigy.
[21:04] NEKO
    Wait, that counts?
[21:05] NOKOTAN
    I've never ran into anyone
    who could grow them so long.
[21:10] BASHAME
    Bashame's so jelly!
[21:12] NEKO
    Do I really have immense deer talent?!
[21:16] NARRATOR
    Neko-chan's just as easy as Koshitan.
[21:21] NOKOTAN
    That does it for club today.
[21:23] NOKOTAN
    You did well, Shikayamada.
[21:26] NOKOTAN
    These are for you.
[21:28] NOKOTAN
    Congratulations.
[21:29] NOKOTAN
    You can proudly call yourself a deer now.
[21:32] NEKO
    Instructor!
[21:33] BASHAME
    Bashame hates to admit it,
    but you're the real deer.
[21:39] NEKO
    Heck yeah!
[21:40] NEKO
    The Deer Club rules!
[21:49] NEKO
    Wait, I failed to dig up any dirt
    on Koshi Torako again!
[21:55] NEKO
    Hiss!
[21:57] NARRATOR
    Hang in there, Neko-chan.
[21:59] NARRATOR
    The experience you gained today
    may come in handy someday...
[22:02] NARRATOR
    or it may not.

E6 - Summer Deer Festival
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    This is a work of fiction. The names of the people, places, and organizations
    are fictitious and in no way related to any real person or entity.
[00:00] Narrator
    We would like to humbly thank all the 
    loyal viewers of* My Deer Friend Nokotan*.
[00:06] Narrator
    As we fearfully await the day we receive
    objections from a deer conservation group,
[00:09] Narrator
    our show has officially
    reached the halfway mark.
[00:13] Narrator
    So this time, on top of our usual episode,
[00:17] Narrator
    we are proud to present to you a
    collection of eighteen mini episodes.
[00:21] Narrator
    Isn't it great getting eighteen
    for the price of one?
[00:25] Nokotan
    Starting notsu!
SIGN    Summer Deer Festival
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
SIGN    I Seriously Don't Get the Trick
SIGN    Bessatsu Friend
[02:05] Nokotan
    Koshitan, Koshitan!
[02:06] Koshitan
    Hm?
[02:07] Nokotan
    I'm about to show you my psychic powers,
    so watch carefully.
[02:10] Koshitan
    'Kay.
SIGN    Deer Crackers
[02:21] Koshitan
    It started shining?
    Wait, does she actually...
SIGN    Flop
[02:26] Koshitan
    Not the spoon but yourself?
SIGN    You're Probably Gonna Stand Out for Various Reasons
[02:32] Koshitan
    Man, I could sure use some coffee right now.
[02:34] Nokotan
    Want some?
[02:35] Koshitan
    You actually have some?
SIGN    Open
[02:46] Koshitan
    Actually, I'm good.
[02:48] Nokotan
    Om, nom, nom...
SIGN    Better Than Selling Off Some Organs
[02:50] Koshitan
    The cost of the deer crackers...
[02:52] Koshitan
    Room repair expenses for all the destruction
    Shikanoko and Anko caused...
[02:56] Koshitan
    The cost of the King of
    Koshi Torako Competition...
[02:59] Koshitan
    We don't have enough money!
[03:01] Koshitan
    Also, the Deer Club has to foot the entire bill
    for that competition? Damn it!
[03:07] Nokotan
    Koshitan.
[03:10] Nokotan
    Wanna sell these on Mercari?
SIGN    Recommended   Shop          Pick
SIGN    Deer Antler
SIGN    List
SIGN    Genjima-san has purchased the item
    "Deer Antler °Like New°." Please send
    the item after confirming their details.
[03:26] Koshitan
    We sold one!
[03:27] Narrator
    Club funds secured!
SIGN    She's Not Killing Anyone with Those Winks
[03:30] Nokotan
    Notsu.
[03:33] Nokotan
    Notsu.
[03:35] Koshitan
    How does all that actually work?
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
SIGN    This Is Definitely Messed Up
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Guugle News
    Top | Live | Ranking | Entertainment | Sports | Gourmet | Politics
    Cat-Eared Idols Are All the Rage!!
    Shishidoko Neko from nekomarionette-paties, the idol group
    gaining fame on social media as "the underground idols who
    look too good with cat ears," uploaded a video onto her personal
    Mytube channel on the 10th. The video happened to be of her
    doing an official "Let's Dance" video of part of the choreography
    for their new song that goes on sale next month.
    Fans were so blown away by this video that they flooded
    the internet with comments. This surprise...
SIGN    We asked everyone in Japan!
SIGN    Favorite Animal Ranking
SIGN    1st         Cat
SIGN    2nd         Dog
SIGN    3rd         Bear
SIGN    4th         Horse
SIGN    5th         Sparrow
SIGN    Out of Ranking       Deer
[03:43] [SONG] Sign
    Comments & General Consensus
SIGN    According to our survey, cats took the number-one spot.
SIGN    Top News > Sports
SIGN    The World Cat Cup Begins!
SIGN    Japanese Cats Come Out on Top!
    Made it Through the Group Leagues!
SIGN    The World Cat Cup opened last week.
    The Japanese cats had their work cut out
    for them with one win and one loss.
    This morning, they went up against the
    Spanish cats to see who would move
    onto the finals league. The Spanish cats
    are a powerhouse team—one of the top
    teams in Europe. They definitely didn't
    pull any punches against their Japanese
    opponents. A fierce battle continued as
    neither side would let up, but then the
    Japanese cats went for a risky move.
    The competition was close, but the
    "Calico's 1mm," which was trending on
    social media, is what turned the tables,
    bringing them victory...
SIGN    Shimbun
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Top News > Politics
SIGN    The Truth Behind the Cat Party's Seizure of Power
SIGN    The Deer Party Self-Destructs?!
    The Truth Behind the Regime
     Change
SIGN    Support for the Deer Party has continued
    to decline due to the faction-related slush
    fund scandal that has been going on since
    last year. Political distrust has grown as
    the number of independents who do not
    support any political party swells.
    Meanwhile, the Cat Party has steadily
    built up the public's trust through
    economic recovery measures and other
    efforts. The gap between the two parties'
    support rates has become decisive.
SIGN    We asked for political scientist Toranoi-san's analysis of this regime change.
[03:50] [SONG] Sign
    "Monthly Deer" Publication Suspended
[03:53] Nokotan
    Wasn't it finally time for deer to shine?!
[03:56] Narrator
    Better luck in your next life.
SIGN    I Think Just My Antlers Might Grow Every Night
[04:01] Nokotan
    I totally think the Deer Club should
    start selling body pillow covers.
[04:05] Koshitan
    Where'd that come from?
[04:07] Nokotan
    Hup!
[04:08] Nokotan
    I even made a sample!
[04:10] Koshitan
    Did you just will that into existence?
[04:12] Koshitan
    Also, it has antlers...
[04:14] Nokotan
    Try it out, Koshitan!
[04:17] Nokotan
    Well? Well?!
[04:19] Koshitan
    Damn antler's in the way.
SIGN    I Sure Hope You Make This into Merch
[04:22] Nokotan
    Then how about some Deer Club T-shirts?
[04:25] Koshitan
    I guess we could do that much.
SIGN    Deer Club
SIGN    Notsu.
[04:30] Nokotan
    All done!
[04:30] Koshitan
    You just formed it out of the ether again.
[04:33] Nokotan
    I'm gonna wear it right now!
SIGN    Deer Club
SIGN    Notsu.
SIGN    It Shines in Seven Colors
[04:41] Nokotan
    Did you drop this golden antler
    or this silver antler?
[04:45] Koshitan
    You whut?
[04:46] Nokotan
    Did you drop this golden antler
    or this silver antler?
[04:50] Koshitan
    You're just going to keep asking
    until I answer, aren't you?
[04:55] Koshitan
    I actually didn't drop either of them.
[04:57] Nokotan
    Since you're so honest, I shall
    give you this gaming antler!
[05:01] Koshitan
    Gaming antler?
[05:02] Koshitan
    Uh!
[05:03] Koshitan
    Oh, god! My eyes! My eyes!
SIGN    No Boba for You
[05:23] Koshitan
    Wait a minute. This isn't a straw!
[05:24] Koshitan
    It's an antler!
[05:27] Nokotan
    Just as antler.
SIGN    Hand-Me-Downs
[05:31] Koshitan
    Look at you, all high-school-girl-like.
[05:35] Koshitan
    You looked great in your
    middle school uniform,
[05:37] Koshitan
    but you rock the sailor uniform, too.
[05:39] Anko
    Squee! We match, Onee-chan!
[05:42] Koshitan
    I mean... that applies to everyone
    else at our school, too...
[05:46] Koshitan
    It does seem a bit big on you, though.
[05:48] Koshitan
    You didn't want a more fitting size?
[05:51] Anko
    Well, this is your hand-me-down.
[05:54] Koshitan
    Oh, I see...
SIGN    Ta-hay-sty
SIGN    Ta-hay-sty
SIGN    Ta-hay-sty
[06:13] Bashame
    Ta-hay-sty.
SIGN    Ta-hay-sty
SIGN    Ta-hay-sty
SIGN    Deerlicious
SIGN    Deerlicious
[06:14] Nokotan
    Deerlicious.
[06:15] Bashame
    Ta-hay-sty.
[06:15] Nokotan
    Deerlicious.
[06:16] Bashame
    Ta-hay-sty.
[06:16] Nokotan
    Deerlicious.
SIGN    Notsu Notsu Shopping
SIGN    Basically Inventory Disposal
[06:19] Nokotan
    Hello, viewers. It's time once 
    again for Notsu Notsu Shopping.
[06:25] Nokotan
    And here's our item for today!
SIGN    Koshi
[06:29] Nokotan
    Our antler-shaped name seal case!
[06:31] Anko
    Wow. It's so popular right now.
    I've been dying to get one.
SIGN    yen
[06:35] Nokotan
    Usually, it's 29,800 yen after tax...
[06:39] Nokotan
    But just for you viewers today!
SIGN    yen
SIGN    yen
[06:41] Nokotan
    We've slashed the price by 90%,
    and it's only 2,980 yen!
[06:45] Anko
    Wow, 2,980 yen? Really?
SIGN    Free Shipping
[06:49] Nokotan
    Buy three, and you'll get free shipping!
[06:51] Nokotan
    Act now, and we'll throw
    in this antler plushie,
[06:53] Nokotan
    this antler beauty essence,
    and this wood-carved antler!
[06:57] Anko
    Wow, what a deal.
[07:03] Neko
    Really? An antler-shaped name seal case?
SIGN    Student Council Office
SIGN    Locally, a Huge Hit
[07:11] Tanuki
    You seem really happy, Chiharu.
[07:13] Tanuki
    What's that?
[07:14] Neko
    An antler-shaped name seal case.
[07:16] Tanuki
    An antler-shaped name seal case?!
    That's wonderful!
[07:22] Tsubame
    I also got an antler plushie, antler beauty
    essence, and this wood-carved antler.
[07:27] Tanuki
    Wow! That plushie is so cute!
[07:33] Tsubame
    Here, Kinu. You can have one.
[07:35] Tanuki
    Wait, really?!
[07:36] Tanuki
    But I'm such a failure as a childhood friend!
[07:40] Tanuki
    Chiharu!
[07:42] Tsubame
    There, there.
[07:43] Tsubame
    You're always taking care of me, Kinu.
SIGN    At This Rate, You Could Get Them to Buy Anything
[07:50] Neko
    An antler-shaped name seal case...
[07:52] Neko
    Are they actually popular?
[07:55] Neko
    Come on. It's not like I'd ever use one.
[07:58] Neko
    But it's free shipping...
[08:00] Neko
    It's 90% off...
[08:02] Neko
    And it comes with a plushie, a wood carving,
    and beauty essence...
[08:05] Neko
    2,980 yen...
[08:07] Neko
    It's actually... a good deal?!
[08:09] Narrator
    Yeah, she bought it.
SIGN    Powerful Enemy
[08:17] Koshitan
    Oh, hey. A cat. How cute.
[08:20] Nokotan
    But deer are much cuter!
[08:22] Koshitan
    It's not a competition.
[08:26] Koshitan
    Dang, that wind's strong.
[08:27] Bashame
    But Bashame is much stronger!
[08:30] Koshitan
    Seriously, who are you even competing with?
SIGN    Koshitan Is Studying
[08:37] Anko
    Onee-chan, I made you some tea.
[08:39] Koshitan
    Oh, thanks.
SIGN    5 minutes later
[08:43] Anko
    Onee-chan, I brought you a snack.
[08:45] Koshitan
    Oh, thanks.
SIGN    Another 5 minutes later
[08:48] Anko
    Onee-chan, I brought you more tea.
SIGN    And another 5 minutes later
[08:53] Anko
    Onee-chan—
[08:54] Koshitan
    Could you leave me alone for a bit?
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
SIGN    Surprisingly Athletic
[09:04] Nokotan
    Newbie! Greet your senpai!
[09:07] Nokotan and Bashame
    Notsu!
SIGN    DEER CLUB THE ROCK
[09:10] Nokotan
    Let's start a band!
[09:12] Koshitan
    Did you get inspired by
    some late-night anime?
[09:15] Nokotan
    So anyway, I brought us instruments!
SIGN    Shakuhachi
SIGN    Theremin
SIGN    Udu drum
[09:19] Koshitan
    The hell is this lineup?
[09:21] Koshitan
    I can't even imagine what kind of
    melody they'd produce together.
[09:24] Anko
    Then I'll play the vuvuzela.
[09:27] Nokotan
    You're in!
[09:28] Koshitan
    I'm sorry, what?!
    That wasn't even in the lineup!
[09:31] Bashame
    Bashame can whistle.
[09:35] Nokotan
    You're in!
[09:37] Koshitan
    Do you really need someone
    to whistle in a band?!
[09:40] Koshitan
    And she can't even whistle!
[09:41] Nokotan
    And I'll be the vocalist.
[09:43] Koshitan
    No fair!
[09:44] Narrator
    Koshitan... on udu drum,
    theremin, and shakuhachi.
SIGN    Shizuoka Prefecture
    Mishima Taisha
SIGN    Shizuoka Prefecture
    Mishima Taisha
    Sacred Deer Park
[09:57] Narrator
    It's finally summertime in Hino City!
[10:02] Anko
    Who would've thought summer would
    come to Hino City... Right, Onee-chan?
[10:05] Koshitan
    I mean, summer comes
    to Hino City all the time.
[10:08] Koshitan
    You and the narrator guy
[10:10] Koshitan
    seem to think Hino is some ominous place
    outside the human realm and understanding.
[10:14] Narrator
    I mean... the manga went for over
    three years without one summer.
[10:17] Anko
    Well, anyway. Our summer
    uniforms are nice, too.
[10:20] Koshitan
    Yeah.
[10:21] Koshitan
    Even if our uniforms are old hat by now,
    just shortening the sleeves
[10:24] Koshitan
    adds a refreshing bit of eye candy.
[10:27] Koshitan
    Just kidding.
[10:28] Anko
    You're right, though.
[10:30] Anko
    Just look at how much of your upper arm
    shows thanks to those short sleeves!
[10:35] Anko
    Not to mention the glimpses of your alluring
    armpits that show through the hole...
[10:39] Anko
    An all-you-can-eat buffet for the eyes!
[10:41] Anko
    It's the best.
[10:42] Koshitan
    Where the hell are you looking?!
[10:44] Anko
    And, of course...
[10:46] Anko
    The faint outline on your back visible
    through the thin summer uniform...
[10:49] Anko
    The pure-white love bra strap!
[10:51] Koshitan
    Your eyes are creeping me out!
[10:52] Anko
    Oh, you're being so bashful, Onee-chan!
[10:54] Anko
    So cute.
[10:55] Koshitan
    Don't inch closer to me
    with those predatory eyes!
[10:58] Classmate A
    Oh, it's Koshi-san and her little sister.
[11:01] Classmate C
    They're so close even when
    it's bright and early.
[11:03] Classmate B
    Sister yuri... I can dig it!
[11:06] Nokotan
    Oh, hey. It's Koshitan and Koshian!
[11:08] Koshitan
    And now more predators.
[11:10] Nokotan
    Let's do our best at being deer as usual!
[11:13] Koshitan
    Okay, what the hell happened to you now?!
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
[11:15] Narrator
    Anyway, a bunch happened,
    and now it's after school.
[11:19] Anko
    It's been a while, but I guess
    it's not going away.
[11:22] Anko
    Does anything feel strange?
[11:24] Nokotan
    Nope! My antlers are moving just fine, too!
[11:26] Koshitan
    Antlers aren't supposed to move.
[11:29] Koshitan
    Actually, you know...
[11:32] Koshitan
    Did you eat something off the ground
    and catch some weird disease?
[11:36] Nokotan
    How rude! The only thing I eat
    off the ground is deer crackers!
[11:41] Koshitan
    So you are eating things off the ground.
[11:42] Anko
    But it's rare to find deer crackers randomly
    lying on the ground outside of Nara.
[11:47] Bashame
    Bashame has figured it out.
[11:49] Bashame
    Bashame has seen those spots
    that are on your body before.
[11:52] Bashame
    And it is indeed a disease!
[11:55] Koshitan
    W-Wait, seriously, Bashame?
[11:58] Bashame
    Yes. The disease Nokotan-senpai has is...
[12:01] Koshitan
    Is...?
[12:02] Anko
    Is...?
[12:03] Nokotan
    Is...?
[12:05] Bashame
    The arch-nemesis of rice!
[12:07] Bashame
    It's rice blast!
[12:10] Narrator
    Rice blast is a disease caused by a
    fungus that can grow in rice paddies.
[12:14] Narrator
    White splotches appear on
    the leaves of infected plants.
[12:18] Narrator
    If the symptoms worsen, the plant
    will eventually wither completely.
[12:22] Narrator
    Not only does it reduce the yield of the rice
    harvest, it can even kill off entire paddies,
[12:27] Narrator
    making it the disease that rice farmers
    are the most afraid of.
[12:30] Koshitan
    That's not even an animal disease!
[12:32] Bashame
    There's no doubt about it.
[12:34] Bashame
    Bashame watches THE TETSUWAN DASH 
    all the time, so Bashame knows lots.
SIGN    Shut your mouth, Koshitan!
[12:39] Koshitan
    I mean, DASH is a great show...
[12:42] Koshitan
    But that aside...
[12:43] Koshitan
    Your face is really pissing me off!
[12:46] Nokotan
    Oh. I guess I was a rice plant,
    not a deer, all along.
[12:49] Anko
    Shika-san and Ine-san are like
    old names for women in Japan.
[12:54] Bashame
    Bashame respects you as
    a deer, Nokotan-senpai.
[12:58] Bashame
    But... as someone who worries about
    Japan's food self-sufficiency rates declining,
[13:03] Bashame
    rice blast must be taken care of!
SIGN    My Deer Friend Nokotan
[13:05] Narrator
    Please continue to support the social 
    studies anime* My Deer Friend Nokotan*.
[13:10] Nokotan
    You're right, Bashame.
[13:12] Nokotan
    I can't go causin' trouble for all the
    rice farmers in Japan with my sickly body.
[13:19] Koshitan
    Shikanoko?
[13:20] Nokotan
    Deer don't truly die. They just disappear.
[13:23] Nokotan
    Koshitan, I leave the Deer Club in your hands.
SIGN    Deer Crackers
[13:26] Koshitan
    H-Hey, what do you mean by that?
[13:29] Koshitan
    This whole club was your idea!
[13:32] Nokotan
    See ya... Koshitan.
[13:48] Koshitan
    Sh-Shikanoko!
[13:50] Bashame
    Koshitan-senpai sure does get
    influenced by the mood easily.
[13:54] Anko
    That's one of the best
    things about my sister!
SIGN    Deer Crackers
[14:00] Nokotan
    Tsunoda-san, are you slacking off again?
[14:03] Nokotan
    I know it's hot, but you
    shouldn't be doing that.
[14:05] Koshitan
    Whatever happened to him being a "wild" deer?
[14:11] Koshitan
    Hey, Shikanoko.
[14:13] Koshitan
    Tsunoda-san's body...
SIGN    Deer Crackers
[14:15] Nokotan
    Notsu? Oh!
[14:17] Nokotan
    We match, Tsunoda-san.
[14:20] Anko
    Onee-chan, maybe she's not sick.
    Maybe she's just molting.
[14:25] Koshitan
    Molting?
[14:30] Narrator
    Twice per year, deer molt in order to
    change into their summer or winter coats.
[14:34] Narrator
    And the noticeable spots that
    show up on their summer coats
[14:37] Narrator
    are also known as the "kanoko" design.
[14:40] Narrator
    Surely you've seen it on the back
    of that one world-famous fawn—
[14:43] Koshitan
    Hey, wait! When it comes to copyright, that's
    the one company you don't want to mess with!
[14:47] Anko
    That story's in the public domain now,
    so should be fine... probably.
[14:51] Nokotan
    Oh, so I was just molting.
[14:54] Nokotan
    Whoopsies. Tee-hee.
SIGN    April ~ May
[14:57] Narrator
    Note: deer actually change into their
    summer coats between April and May.
[15:01] Narrator
    But we're just some dumb comedy anime,
    so don't think about it too hard.
[15:05] Koshitan
    Don't call us dumb.
[15:06] Bashame
    Bashame believed in you from
    the start, Nokotan-senpai.
[15:10] Koshitan
    Why, you little...
[15:11] Nokotan
    Well, no wonder I shed
    so much since yesterday.
[15:15] Nokotan
    Just look at all this!
[15:17] Koshitan
    Yeah, that's definitely
    the other kind of molting!
[15:20] Nokotan
    What? I mean this clearly all hair!
[15:24] Koshitan
    Look, that's terrifying!
[15:26] Nokotan
    Oh, no! My fur!
[15:33] Koshitan
    Don't put it on!
[15:34] Bashame
    The ventilation is great!
[15:37] Nokotan
    Well, now that we're all
    dressed for the season,
[15:40] Nokotan
    let the Deer Club's summer officially begin!
[15:42] Nokotan and Bashame
    Yeah!
[15:46] Anko
    Onee-chan?
[15:47] Koshitan
    Well, I mean... I'm pretty sure this
    summer's gonna be insane, you know?
[15:52] Narrator
    Now that they're appropriately dressed, the
    Deer Club's hot summer can begin in earnest.
[15:57] Tanuki
    Huh? Chiharu, is that a new antler?
[16:01] Tsbuame
    Yeah. I bought it for 2,000 yen on Mercari.
[16:04] Tsbuame
    What a bargain.
[16:05] Narrator
    And then that hot summer...
[16:08] Narrator
    ended with no particular issue.
[16:10] Koshitan
    Was there a reason our hot summer
    didn't even make it to the end credits?
[16:16] Bashame
    Heya, Anko-chan.
SIGN    Deer Crackers
[16:18] Nokotan
    All my fur molted again, so here's
    a fresh coat just for you, Koshian!
[16:22] Anko
    Oh, no. My hand slipped.
[16:24] Bashame
    That's such a waste, Anko-chan!
[16:27] Bashame
    These are so comfy to wear.
[16:29] Anko
    How long are you going
    to be wearing that thing?
[16:33] Koshitan
    Shedding hair, huh?
[16:44] Narrator
    Koshitan decided to halt her train of thought
    before it arrived at a terrifying station.
[16:50] Neko
    So, about our plan
    to eradicate the Deer Club...
[16:53] Neko
    Let's have you two report on your progress.
[16:56] Tanuki
    Progress? But Chiharu and I aren't
    exactly planning to eradicate it...
[17:02] Neko
    What? But you said you'd assist me!
[17:07] Tanuki
    I didn't say anything of the sort!
[17:09] Neko
    What?! Also, why are we back
    to winter uniforms?
[17:12] Neko
    I didn't even get to show
    off my summer uniform!
[17:15] Neko
    I don't even remember having
    any kind of summer vacation!
[17:19] Tanuki
    I'm so sorry! It's probably because
    my upper arms are so flabby and ugly
[17:26] Tanuki
    and visible with short sleeves
    that our summer just ended!
[17:29] Narrator
    Your lack of a summer vacation
    is a feature, not a bug.
[17:32] Nokotan
    May I have a moment?
[17:34] Neko
    Oh? Do you have something to report?
[17:38] Neko
    Wait, what are you doing here?!
SIGN    Hiiiisss
[17:41] Neko
    This is a Deer Club eradication meeting!
[17:43] Neko
    We can't do it with the Deer Club here!
[17:45] Nokotan
    Now's not the time to sweat the small stuff.
[17:48] Neko
    Small? It's your club we're eradicating!
[17:51] Neko
    I mean, I guess I shouldn't bring that up.
[17:53] Nokotan
    I have made the discovery of the century.
[17:57] Neko
    Of the century?
[17:58] Nokotan
    Take a look at this.
[18:01] Neko
    What is that?
[18:03] Nokotan
    Heh.
[18:04] Nokotan
    It's a tsuchinoko!
[18:05] Neko
    It absolutely is not!
[18:07] Neko
    Wh-What in the world is this mysterious orb?!
[18:12] Neko
    It moved!
[18:13] Neko
    Are those tentacles growing from it?!
[18:15] Neko
    And it's squirming around! Gross!
[18:18] Tanuki
    What a unique shape.
[18:20] Tsubame
    The mysteries of life...
[18:22] Neko
    Wha... You two are rather calm.
[18:24] Nokotan
    Isn't it amazing?
[18:26] Nokotan
    I found it when I was digging up
    holes in the schoolyard.
[18:28] Neko
    What do you think you're doing? And wait,
    that thing was buried on school grounds?
[18:32] Neko
    Yikes!
[18:33] Neko
    Not to mention, isn't the
    tsuchinoko that one thing?
[18:36] Neko
    That unidentified lifeform...
    with the, uh, indescribable form...
[18:40] Nokotan
    But this also has an indescribable form.
[18:43] Neko
    Yes, it does! I mean, you have a point, but...
[18:45] Neko
    We don't know that
    tsuchinoko even really exist!
[18:50] Neko
    Wait, now it's shining!
[18:53] Nokotan
    See? I told you! It's a tsuchinoko!
[18:55] Neko
    Wait a second. Are we even
    imagining the same tsuchinoko here?
[19:00] Neko
    This is clearly much
    creepier than a tsuchinoko!
[19:02] Neko
    That's absolutely not it!
[19:04] Nokotan
    What makes you so sure?!
[19:06] Nokotan
    Aren't you being rash by saying it's
    not one because you subjectively think
[19:09] Nokotan
    its form and ecology are wrong?!
[19:11] Nokotan
    Not to mention, have you ever
    seen a tsuchinoko before?!
[19:14] Nokotan
    Can you really say without a doubt
    that this isn't a tsuchinoko?!
[19:18] Neko
    Conversely, why do you want it
    to be a tsuchinoko that badly?
[19:22] Nokotan
    Hey, wait. Tsuchinoko...
    Shikanoko... Could it be...
[19:28] Nokotan
    that I now have a "deer friend" of my own?
[19:31] Neko
    What on earth are you talking about?
SIGN    My Dirt Friend Tsuchinoko
[19:32] Narrator
    Our new show,* My Dirt Friend 
    Tsuchinoko*, is about to start.
[19:36] Tanuki
    But the more you look at it...
[19:38] Tanuki
    The way it feels, with its smooth skin
    and ceramic-like finish...
[19:42] Tanuki
    It might actually be cute.
[19:44] Neko
    I've never heard anyone describe
    an unidentified lifeform that way.
[19:48] Tsubame
    Tsucchi.
[19:49] Neko
    Wait, you named it?
[19:51] Neko
    You feel so fondly about it
    that you gave it a name?
[19:54] Tsubame
    But it doesn't seem as energetic as before.
[19:57] Tanuki
    Was it trying to say something to us
    when it shone before?
[20:01] Tsubame
    I wonder if it's hungry.
[20:03] Nokotan
    I see! Let's feed it!
[20:05] Neko
    Feed it? You don't even know what tsuchi—
[20:09] Neko
    what that thing eats, do you?
[20:12] Nokotan
    It eats deer crackers, of course!
[20:14] Neko
    What do you mean, "of course"?
[20:16] Nokotan
    Here you go. I've got a yummy
    deer cracker for you.
[20:19] Nokotan
    Eat up!
SIGN    Harrumph
[20:23] Nokotan
    Y-You don't like deer crackers?!
[20:27] Nokotan
    Then how about some grass?
[20:28] Nokotan
    Or maybe some boba?
SIGN    Harrumph
[20:30] Nokotan
    Say it ain't so!
[20:31] Nokotan
    Wh-Why don't you just try one bite?
[20:34] Nokotan
    Come on!
[20:37] Neko
    Is that intimidation?
    Is it trying to intimidate you?!
[20:39] Nokotan
    No, wait... Could it be that...
    you're not a tsuchinoko?
[20:44] Neko
    That's what I've been telling you
    this whole time!
[20:48] Narrator
    Neko-chan's retorts fill Koshitan's shoes so
    seamlessly, you can hardly tell she's gone.
[20:53] Narrator
    In any case, after trying
    to feed it various things...
[20:57] Narrator
    It seems to like chalk.
[20:59] Tanuki
    Eat up.
[21:01] Tsubame
    A photo of Tsucchi and
    Nokotan-senpai together...
[21:05] Tsubame
    Super rare.
[21:06] Neko
    I don't know how you all can give
    that unknown thing so much attention.
[21:11] Tanuki
    It's basically the same as a dog
    or a cat once you get used to it.
[21:13] Tanuki
    You should try touching it, too, Senpai.
[21:16] Neko
    What...? Touch it?
[21:21] Neko
    What?
[21:33] Neko
    I-It's so cute...
[21:38] Koshitan
    Sorry I'm la—
[21:40] Koshitan
    Wha, whoa... What the heck
    is that mysterious organism?!
[21:45] Neko
    ...ko.
[21:46] Koshitan
    Nekoyamada-san?
[21:48] Neko
    It's a tsuchinoko!
[21:49] Koshitan
    Uh... No, it definitely is not.
[21:52] Koshitan
    More importantly, what's
    Shikanoko-san doing here?
[21:55] Neko
    I will raise this little one!
[21:57] Koshitan
    What are you talking about?
[21:59] Narrator
    The Deer Club and student council decided
    to take responsibility and raise it together.

E7 - Deer Coll, Streaming, Hospitality, etc
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    This is a work of fiction. The names of the people, places, and organizations
    are fictitious and in no way related to any real person or entity.
[00:15] Nokotan
    A letter?
[00:23] Nokotan
    It's finally that time of year...
[00:29] Nokotan
    DeerColle!
SIGN    Shika no Ana Presents
[00:31] Nokotan
    So, yeah.
[00:33] Nokotan
    I'm entering Deer Collection 2024!
[00:37] Koshitan
    What?
SIGN    Deer Coll, Streaming, Hospitality, etc
[02:13] Koshitan
    DeerColle? What the hell is that?
[02:15] Nokotan
    You haven't heard of DeerColle?!
[02:17] Koshitan
    Why are you acting like it's a household name?
[02:21] Anko
    Ah, DeerColle.
[02:23] Koshitan
    Huh?
[02:23] Bashame
    It's already that time of year!
[02:26] Koshitan
    Wha?!
SIGN    Shika no Ana Presents
SIGN    Entry Rules
SIGN    Must enter as a pair of
    one owner and one deer.
    No exceptions.
    
    Must be in good health.
    
                        That's all!
[02:27] Nokotan
    Deer Collection, or DeerColle for short!
[02:30] Koshitan
    This ain't Paris Fashion Week!
[02:35] Anko
    It's a prestigious show held every four years
    that attracts top deer from around the world.
[02:39] Koshitan
    They're walking like models!
[02:41] Bashame
    To be honest, it's like a dog show for deer.
[02:45] Koshitan
    What's that supposed to mean?!
[02:46] Nokotan
    It's basically a competition to decide
    the most awesome deer in the world.
[02:50] Nokotan
    There are even celebrity guests who show up.
[02:52] Koshitan
    They're really doing a glorified dog show,
    for deer, like it's the Tokyo Girls Collection?
[02:57] Koshitan
    Wait, how the heck do you
    guys even know about this?
[02:59] Anko
    I mean...
[03:01] Bashame
    It's common knowledge in the deer world.
[03:03] Koshitan
    What?!
[03:04] Koshitan
    Well, whatever. Do what you want.
[03:06] Koshitan
    I guess I can at least cheer you on.
[03:08] Nokotan
    You're entering, too, Koshitan.
[03:10] Koshitan
    What?!
[03:11] Koshitan
    It's a deer show, isn't it? 
    Where do I come in?
SIGN    Entry Rules
SIGN    Must enter as a pair of
    one owner and one deer.
    No exceptions.
    
    Must be in good health.
    
                        That's all!
[03:15] Nokotan
    Look right here.
[03:16] Nokotan
    "Must enter as a pair of one owner
    and one deer. No exceptions."
[03:20] Koshitan
    When the hell did I become your owner?!
[03:23] Nokotan
    Aren't you supposed to take care of me?
[03:25] Koshitan
    Being your owner wasn't part of the deal!
[03:27] Nokotan
    You deadbeat! How could you
    abandon your dear pet?
[03:29] Koshitan
    You're not my pet, damn it!
[03:32] Nokotan
    No... That's so cruel, Koshitan.
[03:35] Nokotan
    Was I just some fling for you?
[03:38] Nokotan
    Sniffle, sniffle.
[03:39] Anko
    In the end, you were
    nothing more than a side deer!
[03:41] Anko
    I'm Onee-chan's one true love.
[03:43] Koshitan
    Yeah, no!
[03:44] Bashame
    Huh?
[03:45] Bashame
    Does that mean Bashame's her one and only?
[03:47] Bashame
    Sorry, but Bashame's not interested.
[03:50] Koshitan
    How did this end with me getting dumped?!
SIGN    Deer Blues
    Nokotan
SIGN    B Side
    Deer Bossa
[03:53] Nokotan
    Is the deer who fell in love at fault?
[04:02] Nokotan
    Or is it the former delinquent who led her on?
[04:11] Koshitan
    I didn't lead you on!
[04:13] Koshitan
    And stop casually calling me
    a former delinquent!
[04:14] Anko
    I already told Ukai-sensei
    that you'd be entering.
[04:18] Koshitan
    Huh?!
[04:18] Bashame
    I've completed an application for you, too!
[04:21] Koshitan
    No one asked you to do that!
[04:22] Koshitan
    I'm the damn president here!
[04:24] Koshitan
    Are you three just embodiments
    of pure proactivity?!
SIGN    Embodiment B
SIGN    Embodiment A
SIGN    Embodiment C
[04:27] Nokotan
    I guess Koshitan's just not into it.
[04:29] Koshitan
    You bet your ass I'm not.
[04:31] Koshitan
    I'm not falling for your bull—
[04:33] Nokotan
    But I was so sure that
    I could win with you, Koshitan.
SIGN    Win
SIGN    Win
[04:39] Nokotan
    If we win, it'll help out your career
    as an honor student, too.
SIGN    Win
SIGN    Win
SIGN    Win
SIGN    Win
SIGN    Win
SIGN    Win
SIGN    Win
SIGN    Win
SIGN    Win
SIGN    Win
SIGN    Win
SIGN    Win
SIGN    Win
SIGN    Win
SIGN    Win
SIGN    Win
SIGN    Win
SIGN    Win
SIGN    Honor Student
SIGN    Honor Student
SIGN    Honor Student
SIGN    Honor Student
SIGN    Honor Student
SIGN    Honor Student
SIGN    Honor Student
SIGN    Honor Student
SIGN    Honor Student
SIGN    Honor Student
SIGN    Honor Student
SIGN    Honor Student
SIGN    Honor Student
SIGN    Honor Student
SIGN    Honor Student
SIGN    Honor Student
SIGN    Honor Student
SIGN    Honor Student
[04:44] Nokotan
    We'll be able to give the clubhouse a dramatic
    before-and-after transformation, too.
SIGN    King-size bed for naps
SIGN    Chandelier
SIGN    A garden for Manjiro and the others
SIGN    Expensive, super-comfy sofa set
[04:50] Nokotan
    If you really don't want to do it,
    I'll just have to ask one of these two.
SIGN    Deer Crackers
[04:53] Anko
    The only pet I need is my sister.
[04:56] Bashame
    Bashame lives to be the pet,
    not the other way around.
[04:58] Nokotan
    Oh, come on! Please?
[05:00] Nokotan
    Just for the memories!
[05:02] Koshitan
    Hey.
[05:04] Koshitan
    Just for the memories?
[05:05] Koshitan
    Hah. You've gotta be more serious than that.
[05:08] Koshitan
    We're goin' to the top!
[05:11] Nokotan
    Koshitan!
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
[05:13] Nokotan
    Let's train to prepare for DeerColle!
[05:16] Koshitan
    Yeah!
[05:18] Nokotan
    During the actual show, you'll enter
    stage left, and I'll enter stage right.
[05:22] Nokotan
    Then we'll walk down the runway together
    and try to win over the judges.
SIGN    Runway
SIGN    "Judges"
[05:25] Nokotan
    Got it?
[05:26] Koshitan
    Yup!
[05:27] Nokotan
    Okay, then you appear first and call me.
[05:31] Nokotan
    Say, "To my side!"
[05:33] Koshitan
    Huh?! No way! That's too embarrassing!
[05:35] Anko
    You want to win, don't you, Onee-chan?
[05:38] Bashame
    Come on. Try to win us over.
[05:42] Koshitan
    Oh, fine.
[05:45] Koshitan
    Um...
[05:47] Koshitan
    Sh-Shikanoko... To my side...
[05:51] Koshitan
    Gah! I can't see in front of me!
[05:55] Nokotan
    You think you can actually move
    a deer's heart with words like that?!
[05:59] Koshitan
    Who're you?!
[05:59] Nokotan
    I'll do this just once, so watch carefully.
[06:17] Koshitan
    Wh-What is this?
[06:20] Koshitan
    I see it... I can see it!
[06:22] Koshitan
    The trail we've blazed as the Deer Club!
[06:34] Koshitan
    The hell is going on?
[06:40] Nokotan
    Listen well.
[06:41] Nokotan
    They'll be judging the deer's coat
    and coloration at DeerColle, but...
[06:45] Nokotan
    They'll be prioritizing the bond
    between deer and owner!
[06:50] Nokotan
    The atmosphere between the two, how they
    look at each other, the tone of their voices...
[06:54] Nokotan
    They use their whole bodies
    to show off their bond!
[06:58] Nokotan
    If you can't properly express that,
    there is no victory!
[07:03] Koshitan
    Are you saying that what I just saw
    was an illusion created by Shikanoko?
[07:07] Koshitan
    She really is no ordinary deer.
[07:10] Nokotan
    A month... No, we're gonna
    figure this out in a week.
[07:14] Nokotan
    Follow me... and I'll make you
    into a proper owner.
[07:18] Koshitan
    Yes, Sensei!
[07:20] Bashame
    She really is a sucker for these
    overly passionate developments.
[07:23] Anko
    I mean, she did become a delinquent 
    just from reading Shonen Magazine.
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
[07:27] Narrator
    And one week later...
[07:29] Nokotan
    Yes! And turn! Don't forget to smile!
[07:33] Nokotan
    Good! That's great, Koshitan!
[07:35] Nokotan
    You're shining! I can truly feel our bond!
[07:39] Koshitan
    Ah... My heart feels so light.
[07:42] Koshitan
    It's like the embarrassment
    I felt at first never existed at all.
[07:45] Koshitan
    Right now, I just want the judges—
[07:48] Koshitan
    no, I want all of humanity to see!
[07:50] Koshitan
    To see the best performance we have to offer!
[07:54] Koshitan
    Hey, come on!
[07:56] Ukai
    Well? Is the DeerColle training going well?
[08:03] Ukai
    U-Um...
[08:07] Koshitan
    U-Uh, w-well... um...
[08:11] Ukai
    I-I'm sure even an honor student like you
    wants to let loose every once in a while!
[08:15] Ukai
    And I think that's great!
    Everyone needs a break!
[08:18] Ukai
    Well, good luck with your club!
[08:21] Nokotan
    Come on, Koshitan! Let's continue, yo!
[08:28] Narrator
    By the way, the DeerColle winners 
    were Tsunoyama-san from Nara Park
SIGN    Tsunoyama-san
    (Nara Park)
SIGN    Tanabe-san
    (Deer Crackers Tanabe
    Flagship Store)
[08:32] Narrator
    and Tanabe-san, the deer cracker shop owner.
SIGN    Kanagawa Prefecture
    Aishu Kasuga Shrine
SIGN    Kanagawa Prefecture
    Aishu Kasuga Shrine
    Purification Fountain
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
[08:42] Narrator
    One day at the Deer Club...
[08:44] Koshitan
    Script, check.
SIGN    Top Secret
SIGN    Episode 1
    Script
SIGN    Deer Club     Koshi Torako
[08:46] Koshitan
    PC, check.
[08:47] Koshitan
    Shikanoko, check.
[08:49] Koshitan
    Anko and Bashame are gone... check.
SIGN    Deer Crackers
[08:52] Koshitan
    Ah, aah.
[08:54] Koshitan
    Koshitan koshi'd a nock of noko'd nokos.
SIGN    Start Streaming
[08:56] Koshitan
    Okay, let's do this!
[08:59] Koshitan
    Hello, everyone! This is the Deer Club Channel!
SIGN     The Deer Club's First Stream!
SIGN    Deer Club Channel
[09:02] Narrator
    The Deer Club started a MyTube channel.
[09:04] Koshitan
    Starting today, we're going to livestream
    the activities of the Deer Club.
[09:09] Koshitan
    Please make sure you subscribe to our channel!
[09:12] Koshitan
    Okay. So far, so good.
SIGN    A Few Days Ago
[09:15] Narrator
    A few days ago...
[09:17] Koshitan
    MyTube?
[09:18] Ukai
    Yes. As a part of the Deer Club's activities,
[09:22] Ukai
    why don't you try streaming
    what the club is like to everyone?
[09:24] Koshitan
    Ah...
[09:25] Ukai
    It'll be a great experience,
    and you'll be able to promote the Deer Club.
[09:29] Ukai
    And most importantly, if it goes viral,
    you can make some extra club funds!
[09:32] Koshitan
    Club funds!
SIGN    Deer Club remaining budget for the month: 108 yen!!
[09:34] Koshitan
    If we get more club funds,
    we can improve the clubhouse,
[09:37] Koshitan
    and any positive attention for the Deer Club
    will be a plus for my honor student life!
[09:42] Koshitan
    I need to do whatever I can
    to make this stream a success!
[09:47] Koshitan
    I hope you'll all leave us some comments!
[09:50] Koshitan
    Then again, I'm worried whether anyone will
    even show up to some Deer Club stream...
SIGN    I heard the Deer Club was streaming and came by I've been waiting for this! I've been deerly waiting for this Deer stream?! Stands I've been deerly waiting for this I've been waiting for the deer stream~ Heard the deer were streaming But will there be deer? I've been deerly waiting for this I've been deerly waiting for this A high school girl and... a deer?! I've come to see the deer I'm so excited~  Onee-chan's personal deer is here! Preparing the rice...
[09:57] Koshitan
    Huh? They're showing up in droves!
[09:59] Koshitan
    Was there really this much of a demand?
[10:01] Koshitan
    Th-Thank you very much!
[10:03] Koshitan
    First off, I'd like to introduce you all
    to the Deer Club's resident deer.
SIGN    Deer!!! Deer! Deer! Deer! There's deer?  It's deer! A deer! I've never seen one before!! Deeeeer!! Deer!! Deer~ Onee... Cough, cough... Deer~ Baaah~ Venison~ A deer?
[10:09] Koshitan
    Huh?
[10:10] Koshitan
    Er, nothing's happened yet...
[10:16] Koshitan
    The heck are you doing?!
[10:19] Nokotan
    I was growing closer to you.
[10:21] Koshitan
    Why now?!
SIGN    Pwecious... Definitely pwecious Could they be more pwecious? I can feel the pwecious energy... Pwecious Pwecious~ Pwecious This is pwecious Nay! Ankoshi is the true OTP! Rice'll be ready in 5 minutes~ So pwecious~
[10:23] Koshitan
    Pwe... What now?
SIGN    
    
    
    
    
    Precious, in a heartwarming way
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    Nokoshi is so pwecious~
[10:25] Narrator
    "Pwecious." Precious, in a heartwarming way.
[10:27] Narrator
    Example sentence: Nokoshi is so pwecious.
[10:31] Koshitan
    Okay, please allow me to introduce myself.
[10:33] Koshitan
    Ahem...
[10:34] Koshitan
    I'm the president of
    the Deer Club, Koshi Torako!
[10:37] Koshitan
    I mostly take care of deer.
[10:40] Koshitan
    And this is our club's one and only deer...
[10:42] Koshitan
    Shikanoko Noko!
[10:44] Koshitan
    Er, huh? Shikanoko-san?
[10:52] Koshitan
    What brought this on?!
[10:54] Nokotan
    I'm Nokotan.
[10:56] Nokotan
    I'm a deer.
[10:59] Koshitan
    That's so loud!
[11:00] Koshitan
    And your actual antler post is right there!
SIGN    Antler post
[11:03] Koshitan
    Stop using the wall! Are you a cat?!
[11:05] Nokotan
    My antler got itchy all of a sudden.
[11:08] Nokotan
    The rough texture of the concrete
    blocks feels just right.
[11:11] Koshitan
    Well, your timing sucks!
SIGN    We'll Be Right Back
SIGN    The Deer Club
    Channel
[11:17] Nokotan
    All better.
[11:18] Koshitan
    Your antlers are all floppy now!
SIGN    So cute
SIGN    Healing ^^
SIGN    Animal streams are
    always so healing
[11:22] Koshitan
    How, though?!
SIGN    The angy president
    is healing
SIGN    The rice
    turned out great~
[11:27] Koshitan
    At this rate, she's just
    going to drag me down.
[11:30] Koshitan
    I'm not going to let her have control!
[11:33] Koshitan
    Shikanoko-san, would you
    take a seat next to me?
[11:37] Koshitan
    Okay, in the next segment,
    we'll explain what the Deer Club...
[11:40] Nokotan
    Oh, deery me.
[11:43] Koshitan
    Her antlers... have grown.
[11:45] Koshitan
    E-Er, uh... We'll explain
    what the Deer Club does.
[11:52] Koshitan
    I'm getting a pigtails vibe from them now.
[11:54] Koshitan
    No, wait, wait! Does she somehow
    have even more antlers?!
[11:58] Koshitan
    I usually brush her and give her deer crackers!
[12:02] Koshitan
    I'm just not used to seeing
    them this floppy. That's all.
[12:05] Koshitan
    Yeah. Everything else is my eyes
    playing tricks on me!
[12:08] Koshitan
    Anyway, I need to concentrate
    on the stream right now!
[12:11] Koshitan
    Okay! Now I'm going to demonstrate
    feeding her a deer cra...
[12:14] Koshitan
    No, really! They've multiplied!
[12:16] Koshitan
    Sh-Shikanoko-san! Your antlers have multiplied!
[12:20] Nokotan
    What are you talking about?
[12:23] Koshitan
    They just grew a crazy amount!
[12:27] Nokotan
    So warm...
[12:28] Koshitan
    This is no time to relax!
[12:30] Koshitan
    What the hell's going on right now?!
[12:32] Koshitan
    What're your antlers doing?!
SIGN    They're... growing... I guess the way her antlers grow are unique  One of life's great mysteries Antlers!! Her antlers have grown quite a bit Don't they shed this time of year? Deer antlers shed once a year A few fun facts about antlers Growy grow~ I've never seen antlers grow before Deer! Antlers! Deer! I guess taking care of deer can be rough Onee-chan's so panicked... Best president Nom, nom, 88 times nom, nom
[12:36] Koshitan
    The comments are surprisingly calm!
[12:37] Nokotan
    Hm... I'm suddenly hungry.
[12:41] Nokotan
    I sure would love some deer crackers...
SIGN    Deer Crackers
[12:48] Nokotan
    Oh? You got me some?
[12:52] Nokotan
    Let's eat!
[12:55] Koshitan
    Now your antlers have a will of their own!
[13:08] Koshitan
    The deer crackers only made it worse!
[13:10] Koshitan
    This stream totally backfired!
[13:12] Koshitan
    At this rate, I can kiss both our club funds
    and my honor student life goodbye!
[13:16] Koshitan
    What do I do?
SIGN    Deer antlers are intense  I heard that at Nara Park, the rangers cut their antlers once a year  They just keep growing!  My screen's just filled with antlers...
[13:19] Koshitan
    "I heard that at Nara Park,
    the rangers cut their antlers once a year."
[13:24] Koshitan
    That's it!
SIGN    Deer Crackers
[13:25] Nokotan
    Man... I'm still so hungry,
    no matter how much I eat.
[13:30] Koshitan
    Shikanoko-san!
[13:34] Koshitan
    Don't hate me for this.
[13:38] Koshitan
    Hup!
[13:40] Koshitan
    I'm the only one...
[13:43] Koshitan
    who can stop her right now!
[13:49] Nokotan
    Koshitan?
[13:50] Koshitan
    For the sake of the Deer Club's funds...
[13:52] Koshitan
    I need to cut this off at the source!
[13:58] Koshitan
    What?
[14:03] Nokotan
    Oh, my antlers finally fell off.
    I was thinking it was about time.
SIGN    They fall off once they
    grow enough
SIGN    Deer antlers naturally
    fall off even if you don't
    cut them
SIGN    Where'd that saw come from?!
[14:12] Nokotan
    Who knew it'd happen during the stream?
[14:15] Koshitan
    What the hell?
SIGN    I'm so happy I got to see something so rare! I'm glad her antlers came off nicely! Great job, Prez! Taking care of deer is rough You were so cool, Onee-chan. Even when you totally whiffed Bashame is totally full now~
[14:17] Anko
    You were so cool, Onee-chan.
    Even when you totally whiffed.
[14:21] Bashame
    Bashame is totally full now.
[14:23] Koshitan
    Wait, those comments are
    from Anko and Bashame?!
[14:26] Koshitan
    How long have you been watching?!
SIGN    Since the start
[14:28] Anko
    Since the start.
[14:29] Koshitan
    Wait... really?
SIGN    Yup, really~
[14:31] Bashame
    Yup, really.
[14:33] Koshitan
    I'm never... I'm never...
[14:37] Koshitan
    I'm never streaming again! You hear me?!
SIGN    Tanabe Channel
SIGN    Streaming now to rave reviews
[14:40] Narrator
    So Koshitan vowed from the bottom of her heart.
SIGN    There it is!!!
    God-tier episode
    Waiting with all my heart
    Reportable
    Holy...
SIGN    Deer Club first stream archive
SIGN     The Deer Club's First Stream!
SIGN    10000000 views
SIGN    Deer Club Channel
[14:44] Narrator
    Later on, the video went viral, 
    and their club funds rose somewhat.
[14:47] Koshitan
    Why, though?!
SIGN    Kanagawa Prefecture
    Aishu Kasuga Shrine
[14:52] Narrator
    This is Café Sparrow.
[14:54] Narrator
    A place where the citizens of Hino can relax.
SIGN    Café Sparrow
[15:00] Yoshiharu
    Life is about presenting
    the perfect hospitality.
[15:04] Yoshiharu
    Those are the words that I, Tsubameya
    Yoshiharu, the owner of Café Sparrow, live by.
SIGN    Breakfast Set
[15:12] Yoshiharu
    My perfect hospitality, said to be fit for a god,
SIGN    Café Sparrow
[15:16] Yoshiharu
    has brought my café some small fame in Hino.
[15:21] Yoshiharu
    Though none of that really matters to me.
[15:26] Yoshiharu
    Yes, that smells great.
SIGN    For Those Who Want to Learn Everything about Hino
    Hino-Zin
SIGN    Interview with the Owner of Café Sparrow
    Tsubameya Yoshiharu
SIGN    In Search of Good Coffee
    Café Feature
[15:30] Yoshiharu
    Whether I become famous or not,
    the policy I live by will never change.
[15:37] Yoshiharu
    Time to present my perfect hospitality
    once again today!
[15:40] Koshitan
    Hello.
[15:42] Yoshiharu
    Come on in!
[15:44] Yoshiharu
    So my customer is a high school girl.
[15:46] Yoshiharu
    I will show you my ultimate hospitality!
SIGN    Playlists | Artists | Albums
    Anisongs - Heisei
    Reggae
    Healing Music
    High School Girl J-POP
    College Girl City Pop
[16:01] Nokotan
    Oops, I did it again.
[16:03] Koshitan
    Be careful.
[16:04] Yoshiharu
    Huh?! What just got caught on the doorframe?
[16:06] Yoshiharu
    Antlers? But how?!
[16:11] Nokotan
    That door sure makes it hard for deer to enter.
[16:13] Yoshiharu
    A deer?!
[16:14] Yoshiharu
    Why is there a deer in Hino?!
[16:16] Narrator
    Oh? Did we finally encounter a normal person?
SIGN    Normal Person
SIGN    Deer
[16:19] Yoshiharu
    Come to think of it, my beloved little sister
    has been collecting deer merchandise of late.
[16:25] Yoshiharu
    Does that mean deer are popular?!
    Here?! In Hino?!
[16:28] Yoshiharu
    Then of course one would visit the café!
[16:31] Narrator
    Never mind. He's not normal at all.
SIGN    Not Normal
[16:33] Yoshiharu
    No matter. Be they human or deer,
[16:35] Yoshiharu
    I will present everyone
    the perfect hospitality.
[16:42] Yoshiharu
    I swear it on the name of Tsubameya Yoshiharu!
[16:45] Koshitan
    Wow, what a lovely café.
[16:48] Koshitan
    You have so many varieties of coffee.
    That's so impressive.
[16:52] Yoshiharu
    In order to make all kinds of customers happy,
[16:54] Yoshiharu
    I have personally selected a variety of beans.
[16:57] Yoshiharu
    I even have the proper equipment
    for each kind of roast.
[17:01] Yoshiharu
    Looks like she's satisfied.
[17:04] Yoshiharu
    Please have a seat over here.
[17:06] Yoshiharu
    Pardon my reach.
[17:07] Koshitan
    Thank you very much.
[17:09] Yoshiharu
    I've prepared the perfect water
    and hand towels, too.
[17:12] Yoshiharu
    It's only fitting of my perfect hospitality...
[17:15] Yoshiharu
    Hm?
[17:18] Yoshiharu
    She's looking for something?
[17:21] Yoshiharu
    Could there be something I forgot to serve?
[17:23] Yoshiharu
    No. My preparations were no less than perfect.
[17:28] Yoshiharu
    But those eyes!
[17:29] Yoshiharu
    What am I lacking?
[17:31] Yoshiharu
    Um...
[17:33] Nokotan
    Could I get an antler rest?
[17:34] Yoshiharu
    Huh? What's an antler rest?
[17:38] Yoshiharu
    An... antler rest?
[17:40] Nokotan
    Yes, an antler rest.
[17:45] Nokotan
    Could I get an antler rest?
[17:46] Yoshiharu
    They come off?! Actually, a lot more than
    I anticipated came with them! Are you okay?!
[17:50] Koshitan
    Er, Shikanoko-san.
    Cafés don't have antler rests.
[17:55] Narrator
    They have one in the clubhouse, though.
SIGN    This thing
[17:57] Yoshiharu
    I-I'm terribly sorry...
[18:01] Yoshiharu
    I wasn't able to provide
    what a customer wanted!
[18:04] Yoshiharu
    This is my, Tsubameya Yoshiharu's,
    greatest blunder!
[18:07] Yoshiharu
    No... There's no time to be depressed.
[18:10] Yoshiharu
    I'm just getting started.
[18:12] Yoshiharu
    Here's the menu.
[18:14] Koshitan
    Wow, there's so much to choose from!
SIGN    Special Blend Coffee
    Light Roast Coffee
    Vienna Coffee
     Café au lait
    Cappuccino
    
    °Refills available at half price
    
    Iced Tea
    Orange Juice
    Soda Float
SIGN    500
    500
    530
    550
    530
    
     
    
    550
    520
    520
SIGN    Banana Parfait
    Pudding Parfait
    Melon Parfait
    Strawberry Parfait
    
    Pancakes
    
    
    Toast
    Thick-cut Toast (Margarine)
    Red Bean Paste & Butter Toast
[18:16] Yoshiharu
    It's so I can fulfill every customer's request.
[18:21] Koshitan
    They all look so good that
    I don't know what to choose.
[18:24] Yoshiharu
    I'm sure this will also make
    the antlered customer happy.
[18:30] Yoshiharu
    She looks like she's not interested at all!
[18:33] Yoshiharu
    Don't tell me our menu doesn't
    have what she's looking for!
[18:36] Yoshiharu
    No, that's impossible!
[18:37] Yoshiharu
    In order to fulfill all kinds of requests,
[18:39] Yoshiharu
    our menu features items
    from all around the world!
[18:43] Nokotan
    Excuse me...
[18:44] Yoshiharu
    Yes?
[18:45] Nokotan
    Do you have deer crackers?
[18:48] Yoshiharu
    Deer crackers?
[18:50] Yoshiharu
    Deer crackers...?
    Um... You mean the ones that deer eat?
[18:55] Yoshiharu
    Er, uh... Um, well...
[19:02] Yoshiharu
    I...
[19:05] Yoshiharu
    I...
[19:08] Yoshiharu
    I... cannot fulfill that order.
[19:11] Nokotan
    I see.
[19:12] Yoshiharu
    I'm terribly sorry.
[19:14] Nokotan
    Then I'll take a strawberry parfait.
[19:16] Koshitan
    I'll have some pancakes
    and some light-roast coffee.
[19:20] Yoshiharu
    Yes... Coming right up.
[19:25] Yoshiharu
    Why the hell would I have deer crackers?!
[19:28] Yoshiharu
    Why are there deer in Hino anyway?!
[19:30] Yoshiharu
    That's right! Deer are in right now! In Hino!
[19:34] Yoshiharu
    At this rate, it'll all be over before
    I can give her the perfect hospitality.
[19:38] Yoshiharu
    How can I even be hospitable to deer?!
[19:41] Yoshiharu
    No.
[19:42] Yoshiharu
    Calm down, Tsubameya Yoshiharu.
[19:44] Yoshiharu
    Calm down and think clearly.
[19:48] Yoshiharu
    She may be a deer, but this customer
    is still a high school girl.
[19:51] Yoshiharu
    She should still be a sucker for cute things.
[19:53] Yoshiharu
    And the best answer given that is...
[19:56] Yoshiharu
    This!
[20:01] Yoshiharu
    Thank you for waiting.
[20:02] Yoshiharu
    Here's your strawberry parfait,
    pancakes, and light-roast coffee.
[20:05] Koshitan
    Wow, it's so cute!
[20:07] Yoshiharu
    Thank you very much.
[20:09] Yoshiharu
    You bet it is!
[20:11] Yoshiharu
    Now the deer high school girl's
    definitely going to be happy!
[20:13] Nokotan
    Postworthy!
[20:15] Yoshiharu
    If you'd like, I can take a pic—
[20:20] Nokotan
    I'm just gonna dig right in.
[20:24] Yoshiharu
    But why?!
[20:28] Nokotan and Koshitan
    Thanks for the food!
[20:31] Yoshiharu
    The pancakes and the coffee...
    will be 2,000 yen.
[20:36] Koshitan
    Sorry?
[20:37] Yoshiharu
    The strawberry parfait... will be 1,500 yen.
[20:41] Koshitan
    He seems way older than when we first got here.
[20:44] Yoshiharu
    In the end... I was not able to give the deer
    high school girl the perfect hospitality.
[20:53] Yoshiharu
    I'm not fit to run this café.
[20:56] Nokotan
    I think you're trying too hard.
[20:59] Yoshiharu
    Huh?
[21:01] Nokotan
    Relax your shoulders a bit.
[21:04] Nokotan
    Even if you've messed up,
[21:07] Nokotan
    if you can sincerely face the deer
    that's right in front of you,
[21:10] Nokotan
    isn't that, in itself, the perfect hospitality?
[21:15] Nokotan
    Those are just the mere
    ramblings of a deer, though.
[21:18] Nokotan
    Thank you for the meal.
[21:22] Yoshiharu
    She's right.
[21:24] Yoshiharu
    Just because she's a high school girl,
    I tried to force J-pop and cute things onto her
[21:28] Yoshiharu
    instead of offering her true hospitality.
[21:33] Yoshiharu
    I can't let it end this way!
[21:36] Yoshiharu
    Please wait!
[21:37] Koshitan
    Huh?
[21:40] Yoshiharu
    Next time... I'll prepare the most
    exquisite deer crackers for you...
[21:44] Yoshiharu
    so I'll be waiting for your return.
[21:49] Nokotan
    I look forward to it.
[21:53] Koshitan
    What's with this weird vibe?
[21:56] Narrator
    Koshitan, having no idea how to react to either
    of the two moods she was caught between,
[22:01] Narrator
    decided to ignore them both.

E8 - Goodbye, Old Deer! Hello, New Deer!
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    This is a work of fiction. The names of the people, places, and organizations
    are fictitious and in no way related to any real person or entity.
[00:01] Narrator
    December 31st.
[00:03] Narrator
    The time is right before midnight.
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    < Shikanoko-san
SIGN    Let's meet at the bottom of the
    stairs at 11:30 PM. Don't be late.
SIGN    Read
    20:13
SIGN    Roger
SIGN    Today
[00:10] Koshitan
    Man, Shikanoko's late.
SIGN    I'm here
SIGN    Where are you right now?
SIGN    Hello?
SIGN    Shikagami Shrine
[00:13] Koshitan
    She's got some nerve inviting me to the first
    shrine visit of the year and making me wait.
[00:20] Anko
    To think that we get to start off the year
    by swearing our love for each other...
[00:24] Bashame
    It's going to be a good year.
[00:26] Koshitan
    I'm not swearing anything with you.
[00:30] Koshitan
    Well, whatever. I guess the three
    of us can go pay our respects.
[00:39] Shrine Visitor A
    It's almost time for the unveiling!
[00:41] Shrine Visitor A
    I can hardly wait!
[00:43] Shrine Visitor B
    This only happens once a year, after all!
[00:44] Koshitan
    I wonder if there's some kind of event.
[00:47] Shrine visitor D
    Hey! There're the shrine maidens!
[01:09] Koshitan
    Shikanoko?!
[01:11] Narrator
    Their first shrine visit of the year,
    and Nokotan's already become a god.
SIGN    Goodbye, Old Deer! Hello, New Deer!
[02:51] Koshitan
    Wait, wha—
[02:52] Koshitan
    Shikanoko? The hell are you doing?
[02:54] Bashame
    Ah, so that's the great Deer God.
[02:57] Bashame
    This is Bashame's first time seeing her.
[02:59] Anko
    Those are some magnificent antlers.
[03:00] Koshitan
    Shikanoko?! A god?!
[03:02] Koshitan
    Also, get a clue, you two!
[03:04] Mitsu
    Is this your first time at this shrine, lass?
[03:08] Koshitan
    Huh? Uh, yes.
[03:10] Koshitan
    Hey! You're that one old lady that's,
    like, a hardcore deer fan!
[03:14] Mitsu
    I am known as the Old Granny of Hino.
    My name is Inukai Mitsu.
SIGN    Inukai Mitsu (88)
[03:18] Mitsu
    I'm the head priest of this shrine.
[03:20] Koshitan
    A proper self-intro! She's definitely
    eyeing a regular cast position!
[03:23] Mitsu
    She's the god of this Shikagami Shrine
[03:27] Mitsu
    and the symbol of deer prosperity here in Hino.
[03:30] Koshitan
    "Symbol"?
[03:31] Koshitan
    And what's the point of wishing
    for the prosperity of deer in Hino?!
[03:35] Koshitan
    C-Come on. She's clearly
    just a plain ol' deer.
[03:39] Koshitan
    Her, a god? Clearly, there's
    been some kind of mista—
[03:42] Mitsu
    Silence, boy! I mean, girl!
[03:47] Mitsu
    Just go see for yourself.
[03:50] Koshitan
    H-Hey, Shikanoko-san!
    What are you doing there?
[03:54] Koshitan
    Hurry up and come down here!
[03:57] Koshitan
    And quit it with that enlightened look!
[03:59] Koshitan
    Just hurry up and come down here!
[04:02] Nokotan
    One is not "Shikanoko."
[04:05] Nokotan
    One is a deer.
[04:06] Koshitan
    Same difference!
[04:07] Koshitan
    And shouldn't you have said "the Deer God"?!
[04:11] Shrine Visitor A
    Oh, such blessed words!
[04:13] Shrine Visitor B
    Hino will be protected by the
    Deer God for another year!
[04:16] Shrine Visitor E
    We're starting off the
    new year with great luck!
[04:19] Koshitan
    You guys are totally getting duped!
[04:21] Bashame
    May Bashame get her rice paddy this year!
[04:23] Anko
    May I be able to do all kinds of naughty
    things with my sister this year!
[04:27] Koshitan
    Not you two, too!
[04:29] Koshitan
    Damn it. What's with this shrine?
[04:32] Koshitan
    Not only is the god messed up,
    so are all the visitors!
[04:37] Mitsu
    It appears as though you also enjoyed
    our great Deer God's unveiling.
[04:42] Koshitan
    What in the world gave you that idea?
[04:45] Mitsu
    Why don't you take one of our fortune slips?
[04:48] Koshitan
    Fortune slips?
[04:50] Mitsu
    Our Shikagami Shrine fortunes
    are famous for their accuracy.
[04:55] Koshitan
    Huh... Well, if you insist.
[04:59] Koshitan
    I might as well draw a great blessing
    or something else good.
[05:02] Koshitan
    There!
[05:04] Koshitan
    Ooh, I got a...
SIGN    Shikagami Shrine Fortune
SIGN    Your
    Luck:
SIGN    GREAT ANTLER
[05:07] Koshitan
    My luck will be what now?!
SIGN     Right Antler
[05:09] Koshitan
    You mean I'm going to find my antler?! Even
    though I don't remember ever losing one?!
SIGN     A deer
[05:13] Koshitan
    I'm only seeing deer and
    antlers on this damn fortune!
SIGN    will appear in 3 minutes
[05:18] Koshitan
    It's also so unnecessarily detailed!
[05:19] Shrine Visitor F
    I hope I pull a great antler this year.
[05:22] Shrine Visitor G
    I'll be content if I get
    an eventual antler or better.
[05:25] Koshitan
    So I'm supposed to treat
    this as a great blessing?
[05:28] Tanuki
    A-A-A-A-A small antler!
[05:30] Tsubame
    Get a grip, Kinu.
[05:32] Neko
    Ugh, you're so pathetic.
    It's just a simple fortune.
[05:36] Koshitan
    Oh, hey. You guys are here, too?
[05:39] Tsubame
    President. Happy New Year.
[05:41] Tanuki
    I-I'm so sorry that you had
    to see my disgusting, unlucky,
[05:45] Tanuki
    and unwanted face first thing this year!
[05:47] Neko
    I-I'm not here to make a new year's resolution
[05:50] Neko
    to finally do something about
    the Deer Club or anything.
SIGN    GREAT
    MIS-FAWN-TUNE
SIGN    Fortune
[05:57] Neko
    I need to get rid of this immediately!
[06:04] Tsubame
    Are you all right, Vice President?
[06:06] Tanuki
    P-P-Please don't cry!
[06:08] Tanuki
    Ouchies, ouchies, fly away!
[06:11] Neko
    Are you mocking me just because I'm small?!
[06:14] Tanuki
    N-N-No, I didn't mean it like that...
[06:16] Tsubame
    Now, now. Let's go tie up our fortunes.
[06:22] Koshitan
    She's so cute...
[06:24] Koshitan
    Hm? I smell something sweet.
[06:27] Nokotan
    Child of man.
[06:30] Nokotan
    One shall bestow a serving unto you.
[06:32] Nokotan
    Come closer.
SIGN    Reset
SIGN    Start
SIGN    
    A deer will appear in 3 minutes
[06:34] Koshitan
    Exactly three minutes!
    It actually predicted the future!
[06:37] Koshitan
    Shikanoko, you ass! You've got some
    nerve breaking your promise with me.
[06:43] Koshitan
    You handin' out amazake
    after playing god? Huh?
[06:47] Nokotan
    Nay.
[06:48] Nokotan
    This is antler soup.
[06:50] Koshitan
    The hell is antler soup?
[06:52] Nokotan
    Soup of antler.
[06:54] Koshitan
    You didn't explain a damn thing!
    There's no way I'm drinking that stuff!
[06:57] Koshitan
    Also seriously, what's with that face?!
[06:59] Mitsu
    Eenie, meenie, miney, doe!
[07:03] Mitsu
    Eenie, meenie, miney, doe!
[07:04] Narrator
    Antler soup is a soup bestowed
    upon us humans by the Deer God
[07:07] Mitsu
    Eenie, meenie, miney, doe!
[07:09] Narrator
    every year at New Year's.
[07:11] Koshitan
    That sounds shady as hell!
[07:12] Narrator
    The Deer God herself becomes the stock
    and doesn't sleep for three days
[07:16] Narrator
    and three nights as this
    extremely blessed drink
[07:18] Narrator
    is created in the cellar of this shrine.
[07:21] Koshitan
    What does any of that even mean?!
[07:22] Koshitan
    So it's created by literally stewing her?!
[07:24] Koshitan
    Like hell I'm gonna drink that!
[07:28] Koshitan
    Huh?
[07:29] Mitsu
    O Great Deer God, it is almost time.
[07:33] Koshitan
    Time?
[07:37] Mitsu
    Eenie, meenie, miney, doe!
[07:41] Mitsu
    Eenie, meenie, miney, doe!
[07:45] Mitsu
    Eenie, meenie, miney, doe!
[07:45] Koshitan
    The hell is this bizarre ritual?
[07:47] Koshitan
    Also, aren't you supposed to burn
[07:49] Mitsu
    Eenie, meenie, miney, doe!
[07:49] Koshitan
    last year's ceremonial arrows
    in these ceremonial fires?
[07:51] Koshitan
    Why the hell are you burning antlers?!
[07:53] Mitsu
    Eenie, meenie, miney, doe!
[07:53] Shrine visitor G
    They're going all out for
    this year's ceremonial fire.
[07:56] Koshitan
    You're telling me they do this every year?
[07:57] Mitsu
    Eenie, meenie, miney, doe!
[07:58] Shrine visitor F
    I think we're going to
    be extra lucky this year.
[08:00] Koshitan
    Yeah, no!
[08:01] Bashame
    May we have huge harvests
    and a year of full harvests!
[08:04] Anko
    Bring on the debauchery! All the debauchery!
[08:06] Koshitan
    Seriously, you guys...
[08:09] Mitsu
    Eenie, meenie, miney, doe!
[08:12] Koshitan
    What's with the wind?!
[08:13] Shrine Visitor F
    Hey! Look!
[08:14] Shrine Visitor B
    The Deer God started shining!
[08:17] Koshitan
    Why, though?!
[08:18] Mitsu
    Eenie, meenie, miney, doe!
[08:21] Mitsu
    Eenie, meenie, miney, doe!
[08:25] Mitsu
    Eenie, meenie, miney, doe!
[08:35] Nokotan
    Notsu...
[08:43] Visitors
    Oh, blessed be! Blessed be!
[08:46] Koshitan
    Who, what, where, how, why?!
[08:50] Anko
    That was pretty fun.
[08:52] Bashame
    It feels like this is going to be a
    good year. Right, Koshitan-senpai?
[08:57] Koshitan
    Ugh, the new year only just started,
    and I'm already friggin' exhausted.
[09:00] Koshitan
    I'm heading right home and warming up.
[09:03] Nokotan
    Oh, hey! Koshitan!
[09:05] Nokotan
    Sorry to keep you waiting!
[09:08] Bashame
    Ah, Nokotan-senpai.
[09:10] Koshitan
    You jerk! Not only do you make me wait,
[09:13] Koshitan
    you go and pull that Deer God act
    with the ceremonial fires and stuff!
[09:16] Koshitan
    I'm heading home, damn it!
[09:18] Nokotan
    What do you mean?
[09:19] Nokotan
    I just got here.
[09:21] Koshitan
    What?!
[09:22] Nokotan
    But I'm really sorry if I made you wait.
    You must've been really cold.
[09:26] Nokotan
    Here, drink some of this and warm up.
[09:29] Koshitan
    Huh? Uh, sure...
[09:31] Nokotan
    I have some for you two, too.
[09:33] Bashame
    Wow, that's delicious!
[09:35] Anko
    That hit the spot.
[09:38] Koshitan
    Yum... I've never had
    this before. What is it?
[09:43] Nokotan
    Antler soup.
[09:43] Koshitan
    So it was you up there!
SIGN    I'll make sure the
    Deer Club makes its mark!
    -Koshi Torako
SIGN    I'm gonna become
    Hino's local mascot!!
    -Nokotan
SIGN    I'm gonna do naughty
    things with my sister
    -Koshi Anko
SIGN    Bashame will become a
    great deer and eat rice
    -Bashame
[09:49] Koshitan
    After that, we all did our
    first shrine visit together.
SIGN    Kanagawa Prefecture
     Oyama Afuri Shrine
SIGN    Kanagawa Prefecture
     Oyama Afuri Shrine
[10:00] Nokotan
    Happy New Year to you all.
[10:03] Koshitan
    And here we go with this
    indigenous god thing.
SIGN    Happy New Deer
[10:07] Nokotan
    We hope that you'll continue to support 
    My Deer Friend Nokotan this year, too.
[10:13] Koshitan
    Th-Thanks...
[10:15] Nokotan
    With that, here.
[10:16] Koshitan
    Here what?
[10:18] Nokotan
    Gimme New Year's money.
[10:20] Koshitan
    If you're a god, don't pester me for money!
[10:24] Nokotan
    I think that's enough New Year's jokes.
[10:34] Nokotan
    Okay, let's get the actual show started!
SIGN    Happy New Deer
[10:37] Koshitan
    The hell was up with that
    rando New Year's greeting?
SIGN    Deer Crackers
[10:45] Nokotan
    Well? Are you all ready?
[10:49] Narrator
    One of the traditions for New Year's
    is playing a board game.
[10:53] Narrator
    There are countless games that span
    across all ages and many places,
[10:56] Narrator
    but did you know that one particular
    game is the most popular?
[11:02] Narrator
    Its groundbreaking setup caused a huge
    sensation when it was first released.
[11:07] Narrator
    Yes, it's the game you're all familiar with:
SIGN    Game of Deer Life
    Deluxe
[11:10] Narrator
    the Game of Deer Life.
[11:13] Koshitan
    I'm not gonna go easy on ya
    just cuz this is a board game.
[11:16] Koshitan
    I'll show you exactly what
    it means to compete with me!
SIGN    The Beast of Hino
    Roars Into the Fight!!
SIGN    An
[11:25] Anko
    Since we're competing, this means
    we're wagering something, too, right?
[11:29] Anko
    Your livelihood, your chastity, your life...
[11:31] Anko
    Ooh, I'm getting excited!
SIGN    The Out-of-Control Siscon
    Creeps In!!
[11:36] Nokotan
    Pitiful!
[11:37] Nokotan
    You humans just keep yapping.
[11:41] Nokotan
    I'll show you what a true deer...
[11:43] Nokotan
    can do.
SIGN    An Actual Deer
    Leaps Into the Fray!!
[11:47] Narrator
    The First-Ever Chitty Chitty Hino High School
    Deer Club Game of Deer Life Tournament!
[11:51] Narrator
    Let the games begin!
[11:54] Bashame
    Start!
[11:56] Anko
    Okay, I'll go first.
[11:58] Anko
    Go!
SIGN    Start
SIGN    Born in the Hino Zoo!
[12:02] Anko
    I guess I'm moving four spaces.
[12:04] Anko
    One, two, three, four.
[12:07] Anko
    Huh? What's going on?
[12:09] Ukai
    Ah, a newborn deer!
[12:12] Ukai
    Here, to celebrate!
[12:15] Narrator
    Become friends with the zookeeper.
    Receive three stacks of deer crackers.
[12:19] Narrator
    The currency in the Game of Deer Life
    is not money but deer crackers.
[12:23] Narrator
    The one with the most deer crackers
    at the end of the game wins.
[12:27] Anko
    Hey, this is a great start.
[12:29] Nokotan
    No fair.
[12:30] Narrator
    Now, it's Koshitan's turn.
[12:32] Koshitan
    All right! I'm up next!
[12:36] Koshitan
    Ooh, a nine!
[12:37] Koshitan
    I'm gonna keep on truckin'
    and get to the goal!
[12:41] Koshitan
    Hm?
[12:42] Senpai Deer A
    Aren't you being a bit cocky
    just because you're younger?
[12:45] Senpai Deer B
    Whose turf do you think you're on? Huh?
[12:47] Senpai Deer C
    Don't think you can stay here for free!
[12:50] Koshitan
    Huh?
[12:52] Narrator
    Tormented by senpai deer and shaken down
    for deer crackers. Hand over thirty.
[12:57] Senpai Deer A
    Give us all you've got!
[12:59] Koshitan
    Isn't this a bit harsh right off the bat?!
[13:02] Koshitan
    Also, I don't even have any
    deer crackers to give yet.
[13:05] Mitsu
    Over here, lassie.
[13:07] Koshitan
    Huh?
SIGN    Deer Crackers
SIGN    Interest
    50%
[13:09] Mitsu
    Come on.
SIGN    Interest
    50%
SIGN    Deer Crackers
SIGN    Deer Crackers
[13:11] Mitsu
    Pleasure doin' business with ya.
[13:14] Narrator
    When you don't have enough deer crackers,
    the zoo will lend you some.
[13:17] Narrator
    The interest rate is 50%!
[13:19] Koshitan
    The zoo and these senpai deer
    are totally working together...
[13:23] Anko
    I guess survival of the fittest
    applies to herbivores, too.
[13:28] Nokotan
    You just don't get it, Koshitan.
[13:30] Koshitan
    Wha?
[13:31] Nokotan
    The key to the Game of Deer Life
    isn't how fast you can reach the goal
[13:34] Nokotan
    but how many deer crackers you can amass!
[13:37] Nokotan
    Therefore, even if it takes longer,
[13:39] Nokotan
    you've gotta aim for the spaces
    that'll give you more deer crackers!
[13:44] Narrator
    Nokotan's turn.
[13:45] Narrator
    She's escaped the zoo, wandered
    into the neighborhood, and...
[13:50] Narrator
    ended up hanging off some electrical lines.
[13:53] Narrator
    Lose one turn.
[13:55] Koshitan
    Déjà vu!
[13:56] Narrator
    Also, while she was hanging there,
[13:58] Narrator
    she was attacked by vultures and hyenas,
    losing fifty deer crackers.
[14:02] Nokotan
    Doe no!
[14:03] Koshitan
    Sometimes, this is harsher than reality.
[14:06] Narrator
    It's once again Anko's turn.
[14:08] Anko
    One, two, three.
[14:11] Anko
    Okay, now...
[14:15] Nokotan
    Don't be afraid. Now, jump into my arms!
[14:18] Koshitan
    Oh, but I'm a virgin...
[14:23] Narrator
    A deer you've had feelings for 
    mates with another female deer.
SIGN    °Visuals may differ from actual events
[14:27] Narrator
    The shock leaves you bedridden. Lose one turn.
[14:29] Anko
    Oh, my.
[14:30] Koshitan
    Hey! This depiction's pretty malicious!
[14:33] Nokotan
    This actually happened
    at my workplace recently.
[14:37] Koshitan
    Wait, really? Do you work in a soap opera?
[14:39] Anko
    I guess deer have a lot going on, too.
[14:43] Anko
    But if the shock from that leaves them bedridden,
    I'd say their love just isn't enough.
[14:47] Nokotan
    What do you mean?
[14:48] Anko
    If it were me, I'd whip, whip them
    over and over, then slap, slap them,
[14:52] Anko
    squish, squish them, and in the end,
    I'd mlem, mlem them...
[14:55] Koshitan
    I'm just going to pretend
    I never heard that, okay?
[14:58] Narrator
    It's now Koshitan's turn.
[15:00] Koshitan
    Okay, next is...
[15:01] Narrator
    A sudden growth spurt!
[15:03] Narrator
    Spin the roulette, and gain antlers
    equal to the number you roll!
[15:06] Koshitan
    Where am I gaining them?!
[15:10] Koshitan
    The highest number now, of all times!
[15:13] Narrator
    In celebration, also receive the same number
    of deer crackers from each player.
[15:18] Koshitan
    I mean, I'm thankful for that, but...
[15:27] Koshitan
    I look like I've been riddled with arrows...
[15:30] Anko
    Here're your deer crackers.
[15:32] Koshitan
    Are you celebrating or commiserating?
[15:34] Narrator
    It's now Nokotan's turn.
[15:37] Narrator
    Lose one turn.
[15:40] Bashame
    The rice is looking great!
[15:43] Narrator
    And the game proceeded onward.
[15:48] Koshitan
    Deer life decisions?
SIGN    Intense Course
SIGN    Intense Course
SIGN    Stable Course
SIGN    Stable Course
SIGN    Stop!
    Deer Life Decisions
[15:52] Narrator
    You're on your own after leaving the zoo!
[15:54] Narrator
    As the harsh waves of society crash over you,
    you'll hold on for deer life
[15:57] Narrator
    in the Intense course.
[16:00] Narrator
    Alternatively, you can stay at the zoo,
    passing up any great changes or promotions
[16:03] Narrator
    in exchange for a safe and predictable life
    on the Stable course.
[16:08] Narrator
    Which will you choose?
SIGN    Intense
SIGN    Stable
[16:11] Koshitan
    This is just life.
[16:12] Nokotan
    By the way, if you select the Intense course,
[16:14] Nokotan
    you get to choose from the
    mountains, sea, or city.
[16:18] Anko
    Hm...
[16:19] Anko
    Then I guess I'll choose the Intense course
    of deer life and head to the mountains.
[16:23] Anko
    I'll conquer the mountains and shake down
    all the deer there for their deer crackers.
[16:28] Koshitan
    I think you might be more cut out
    to be a delinquent than I am.
[16:31] Koshitan
    In that case, I guess
    I'll head into the city!
[16:34] Koshitan
    I'll gradually climb the ranks of my career!
[16:37] Koshitan
    What about you, Shikanoko?
[16:38] Nokotan
    Someone is calling for me in a faraway land.
[16:41] Nokotan
    I can feel it.
[16:43] Koshitan
    So the sea.
[16:43] Anko
    Yup, the sea.
[16:50] Nokotan
    The dawn in Hino City draws near!
[17:03] Narrator
    Nokotan crossed the sea...
[17:06] Narrator
    and washed ashore in Alaska.
[17:09] Koshitan
    Why Alaska, though?!
[17:14] Narrator
    Oh? Something strange
    is happening to Nokotan.
[17:20] Narrator
    Congratulations!
    Nokotan has evolved into a moose.
SIGN    Current total number
    of deer crackers: 100
[17:24] Koshitan
    How does any of that work?!
[17:26] Nokotan
    This is definitely an intense deer life.
[17:29] Koshitan
    She's actually evolved in real life!
[17:32] Nokotan
    Now that I've evolved into the highest
    class of deer, the moose, that means...
[17:36] Nokotan
    I get bonus deer cra—
[17:38] Narrator
    You don't actually get anything.
[17:40] Anko
    Aw, I guess you're not so special,
    even if you are an actual deer.
[17:43] Nokotan
    How dare you?! Then what about you, Koshian?
[17:48] Narrator
    She gradually took over the mountain and
    made all the animals her subordinates.
[17:52] Narrator
    She calls it a tip, but she makes them
    all pay her ten deer crackers a day.
[17:57] Anko
    Those who defy me will get
    what's coming to them.
SIGN    Current total number
    of deer crackers: 103,000
[18:00] Koshitan
    Ruling by fear?!
[18:02] Anko
    I get all the deer crackers I want to eat.
[18:04] Nokotan
    No fair!
[18:05] Koshitan
    Heh. You've still got a
    long ways to go, Anko.
[18:07] Anko
    What do you mean by that?
[18:13] Camera guy
    Look this way, please!
[18:15] Koshitan
    Sure!
SIGN    Bronze @bronze_dolota
    One in a hundred million deer shot
    #NaraPark
[18:19] Camera guy
    Just like that! Nice! Very good!
SIGN    Matsu @take_nara_1980
    A miraculous beauty deer born from Hino
SIGN    Noah. @noah22
    She's too beautiful...!
[18:28] Narrator
    After a famous photographer's pics of her
    go viral, she becomes a Nara Park idol.
[18:32] Narrator
    Due to her ever-increasing audience, Koshitan
    collects 100 deer crackers per space moved.
[18:38] Koshitan
    Your pocket change ain't got nothin' on me!
SIGN    Current total number of
    deer crackers: 30,000,000
[18:43] Koshitan
    I'm gonna wring all those tourists dry
    and quit while I'm ahead!
[18:50] Nokotan
    I didn't expect a former delinquent
    like you would be into idols.
[18:54] Anko
    My sister's pretty interested in
    girly things, despite how she looks.
[18:57] Koshitan
    Shut your mouths!
[18:58] Koshitan
    This is just a game!
[19:00] Narrator
    Koshitan didn't actually hate this.
[19:05] Narrator
    It's now Nokotan's turn.
[19:10] Nokotan
    Ah, so it's my turn.
[19:12] Koshitan
    You seem like a completely
    different character...
[19:14] Narrator
    Some trouble ahead!
[19:17] Narrator
    An incredibly violent grizzly has appeared.
[19:19] Narrator
    Nokotan's life is on the line!
[19:23] Nokotan
    I guess the reason I grew these
    antlers was for this day.
[19:45] Nokotan
    With this, Alaska—
[19:46] Nokotan
    no, America has finally attained freedom.
[19:50] Koshitan
    The hell happened to you, Grizzly?!
[19:52] Narrator
    As a token of thanks, the American president,
    the American citizens,
[19:57] Narrator
    and the animals living in America
    give you 50 million deer crackers.
[20:01] Nokotan
    May the antlers be with you.
[20:04] Koshitan
    Dude, your antlers are way too OP!
[20:06] Bashame
    Rolly, rolly them all round.
[20:09] Narrator
    And the game continued to advance.
[20:12] Koshitan
    Guess you guys needed another hundred
    years if you actually wanted to beat me!
[20:17] Koshitan
    While you two were dawdling,
    I've been raking in 200 billion a year.
[20:21] Koshitan
    I evolved into a super-elite idol deer, and
    my total assets equal over 1,600,000,000!
[20:28] Nokotan
    When'd she manage that?
[20:29] Anko
    Well done, Onee-chan.
[20:31] Koshitan
    Now I'm gonna run straight for the goal!
[20:34] Koshitan
    Hello! We're doing a photoshoot
    for my new photobook, right?
[20:39] Tanuki
    I-I-I'm so sorry! I promise
    I don't know anything!
[20:45] Tsubame
    Um, so I heard that...
[20:48] Tsubame
    Koshi-san...
[20:49] Tsubame
    You're not actually a deer.
SIGN    The Shocking Scoop
SIGN    Popular Idol Deer
    Falsified Her Past?!
[20:55] Koshitan
    Wait, what the hell is this?!
[20:56] Neko
    A scandal comes to light!
[20:58] Neko
    The popular idol wasn't actually
    a deer! She was a capybara!
[21:03] Koshitan
    There's no way in hell!
[21:05] Narrator
    You end up having to pay
    a fortune in reparations!
[21:07] Narrator
    You lose your life savings.
[21:08] Koshitan
    Huh?
[21:11] Koshitan
    Ugh! I lost!
SIGN    Last Place: 0 crackers
SIGN    1st Place: 62 million crackers
SIGN    2nd Place: 58 million crackers
[21:14] Nokotan
    Yay, I won!
[21:16] Koshitan
    That last space! If only that
    last space didn't exist!
[21:19] Anko
    I guess I just couldn't beat America.
[21:22] Koshitan
    Well, anyway. That was way more
    exciting than I thought it'd be.
[21:25] Koshitan
    And it was pretty fun, too.
[21:29] Koshitan
    Man, I'm starving, though.
[21:31] Nokotan
    I've got some deer crackers.
[21:33] Koshitan
    Yeah, I'm good on those.
[21:34] Anko
    By the way, wasn't Bashame
    making some mochi...
[21:41] Koshitan
    Bashame?!
[21:43] Anko
    Ah... So she ate too many pieces of mochi,
    and now she's choking.
[21:46] Koshitan
    Unconcerned much?!
[21:47] Koshitan
    Hurry up and spit it out, damn it!
[21:49] Bashame
    Thaf's sufh a wafte...
[21:51] Koshitan
    Now's not the time for that!
[21:55] Bashame
    Om, nom, nom...
[21:58] Bashame
    Whew, that was delicious.
[22:01] Nokotan
    Notsu.
[22:02] Koshitan
    Again, your damn antlers are way too OP!

E9 - Get the Sports Festival Done!
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    This is a work of fiction. The names of the people, places, and organizations
    are fictitious and in no way related to any real person or entity.
[00:14] Nokotan
    Well, well... It's spring, all right.
[00:19] Koshitan
    It's already our second spring
    since becoming third-years.
[00:23] Koshitan
    Hm?
[00:24] Anko
    More importantly, Onee-chan...
[00:26] Koshitan
    What?
[00:27] Anko
    Tomorrow's the sports festival.
    Should you really be relaxing here?
[00:34] Koshitan
    I'm not like those other student council
    presidents! I'm actually super efficient!
[00:40] Koshitan
    I already laid out a solid plan in advance
[00:42] Koshitan
    and finished getting ready
    for everything yesterday!
[00:46] Anko
    You're the best, Onee-chan!
[00:47] Koshitan
    I'm sure all those other
    student council presidents
[00:50] Koshitan
    are panicking and flailing around right
    about now, like grade-school kids
[00:53] Koshitan
    who put off their summer homework
    until the very end of summer vacation!
[00:58] Neko
    We've got trouble, President!
SIGN    Get the Sports Festival Done!
SIGN    Get the Sports Festival Done!
[02:35] Neko
    We've got trouble, President!
[02:37] Koshitan
    What's the matter, Nekoyamada-san?
[02:38] Neko
    Some of the relay batons broke,
    and now we don't have enough!
[02:42] Koshitan
    I see. Fear not.
[02:45] Koshitan
    I figured something like this might happen,
    so I bought extras. We can use those.
[02:49] Anko
    You're the best, Onee-chan!
[02:52] Koshitan
    There are no holes in my plan.
[02:53] Tanuki
    P-P-President! Some of the number bibs
    got ripped, and now we don't have enough!
[02:58] Koshitan
    Huh?
[02:59] Tanuki
    I-I-I'm probably being punished for
    only pretending to eat my bell peppers
[03:02] Tanuki
    and putting them on my dad's plate last night!
[03:06] Koshitan
    Calm down. That has nothing to do with this.
[03:08] Koshitan
    It's all right. I have extras of those,
    too, so we can just...
[03:11] Male Student A
    President! The giant ball for the
    giant ball roll has disappeared!
[03:14] Koshitan
    Huh?
[03:15] Girl student B
    President! The computer where the
    sports festival schedule was saved
[03:18] Girl student B
    just broke for no reason!
[03:20] Koshitan
    Wha?
[03:21] Male Student C
    President! Oshio-kun from the
    executive committee disappeared!
[03:24] Girl student D
    President! A kitten climbed up
    a tree and can't get back down!
[03:28] Male student E
    President! A fawn climbed up
    another tree and can't get back down!
[03:32] Koshitan
    Wait, wait, wait, just a...
SIGN    Deer Crackers
[03:33] Tsubame
    President.
[03:36] Tsubame
    The admission gate fell over
    and was destroyed.
[03:38] Koshitan
    Huh? What?!
SIGN    Admission Gate
[03:44] Koshitan
    Wh-Wh-Where do I even start?!
[03:46] Koshitan
    The admission gate first, right?
[03:47] Koshitan
    Or the giant ball? Wait, maybe Oshio?
[03:50] Koshitan
    No, the kitten... Or maybe the fawn?
[03:52] Koshitan
    What?!
[03:54] Nokotan
    Koshitan, you're like a grade-school kid
[03:57] Nokotan
    who put off her summer homework
    until the very end of summer vacation.
[04:03] Koshitan
    Fine! I need you all to help me!
[04:06] Nokotan
    Aw...
[04:07] Koshitan
    Don't "Aw..." me! You absolutely have time!
[04:09] Bashame
    Bashame does not have time.
[04:12] Koshitan
    Huh?
[04:13] Bashame
    Bashame needs to prepare
    for tomorrow's rice planting.
[04:16] Koshitan
    Why are you planting rice
    during a school festival?!
[04:18] Koshitan
    Save it for when you have nothing better to do!
[04:21] Anko
    I'll be happy to help you out, Onee-chan.
[04:24] Koshitan
    Thanks, Anko!
[04:27] Anko
    But I'll be expecting
    a little something in return.
[04:31] Koshitan
    On second thought, maybe not.
SIGN    The Next Day
[04:36] Ukai
    On your marks!
[04:38] Ukai
    Ready...
SIGN    Hino High
SIGN    White Team
[04:45] Koshitan
    I somehow made everything work in time,
    but I'm absolutely beat.
[04:49] Koshitan
    Not a single thing went according to plan.
[04:51] Koshitan
    But I can't let this beat me!
[04:54] Koshitan
    The main event's just begun!
[04:56] Koshitan
    With the students, teachers, and associated
    family members as my witness...
[04:59] Koshitan
    I will make this a magnificent sports festival
    that runs perfectly on schedule!
[05:04] Koshitan
    That is my duty as an exemplary
    student council president!
[05:07] Koshitan
    I'm counting on you, student council...
[05:10] Koshitan
    and Deer Club!
[05:12] Koshitan
    I've got my doubts about
    everyone besides Anko...
[05:15] Koshitan
    But they're better than nothing!
[05:17] Koshitan
    Where the hell did Shikanoko go?!
[05:19] Bashame
    No idea.
[05:21] Anko
    The next event will be
    the class 100-meter dash.
[05:25] Anko
    I will now introduce our runners.
[05:28] Classmate C
    So cute!
SIGN    Deer Team
[05:31] Anko
    From the Deer Team, Nokotan.
SIGN    Putting My Soul into Every Pitch
[05:34] Koshitan
    Wait, what?
[05:35] Koshitan
    Since when do we have a Deer Team?!
    And what's with that ridiculous getup?!
[05:39] Classmate A
    Of course Nokotan would be in the Deer Team.
[05:42] Koshitan
    Seriously, what Deer Team?!
[05:46] Koshitan
    Tsubameya-san, you should be
    working! What're you doing?!
[05:50] Koshitan
    Hey, Anko! What the hell's the Deer Team?
    There was nothing like that in the script!
[05:54] Anko
    Huh? But it's written right here.
[05:57] Anko
    See?
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Class 100-meter dash
    
    Opening announcement
    The next event will be the class 100-meter dash.
    I will now introduce our runners.
    
    Red Team Class 2-1 Inui-san
    ...
    White Team Class 2-2 Kameyama-san
    ...
    (Read the rest of the names of the runners)
    Runners, please get ready.
    
    =Begin race=
SIGN    Important!!!!!!
SIGN    Add this!
SIGN    Deer Team
    Nokotan
[05:58] Koshitan
    She did her prep!
[05:59] Anko
    There's a banner, too.
SIGN    Red Team's
    the Best!
SIGN    White Team's
    Gonna Win
SIGN    Deer Team, Notsu!!
[06:00] Koshitan
    When did that go up?!
[06:02] Gyaru A
    Nokotan looks peak!
[06:04] Gyaru B
    She's too cute! I wanna get
    a pic, so look this way!
[06:09] Gyaru B
    Yeah, that's it! Nice!
[06:16] Anko
    Looks like the photo session's begun.
[06:18] Koshitan
    Crap! At this rate, we're
    gonna run behind schedule!
[06:22] Narrator
    They immediately fell ten minutes behind.
[06:25] Anko
    The next event is the bread-eating race
    with family members.
[06:29] Koshitan
    Damn you, Shikanoko.
[06:31] Tanuki
    P-P-P-President!
[06:32] Koshitan
    Whoa! What's the matter, Tanukikoji-san?
[06:35] Tanuki
    Th-The bread for the bread-eating race...
[06:39] Tanuki
    W-W-We don't have any.
[06:41] Koshitan
    Huh? Why, though?! We had it all ready,
    and we double-checked the numbers!
[06:47] Tanuki
    W-Well, apparently a wild bear
    came by and ate the lot!
[06:53] Tanuki
    I'm sorry! It probably only ate the bread
    because it wasn't able to eat me instead!
[06:59] Koshitan
    Your negativity sure goes straight
    from zero to a hundred!
[07:02] Koshitan
    Anyway, wouldn't the bigger issue be
    that there's a wild bear in Hino?!
[07:06] Nokotan
    I heard everything.
SIGN    Out of Shape
[07:09] Nokotan
    Leave this to me!
[07:11] Koshitan
    Shikanoko!
[07:15] Koshitan
    Yeah, that tracks.
[07:22] Yoshiharu
    Mark my words, I'll be winning
    this family bread-eating race!
[07:25] Yoshiharu
    With this show of gallantry,
    I'll earn my little sister's respect!
[07:31] Yoshiharu
    I gathered all the data...
    and came up with a brilliant plan.
[07:37] Yoshiharu
    I'm sorry, other family members,
    but there can only be one.
[07:40] Yoshiharu
    Hm? Is that deer a family member of that girl?
[07:43] Yoshiharu
    Well, no matter.
    It's time for me to seize victory.
[07:47] Yoshiharu
    Step one for winning a bread-eating race...
[07:49] Yoshiharu
    is to bite onto the bread just hard
    enough so it doesn't brea—
[07:52] Yoshiharu
    What?!
[07:53] Yoshiharu
    It's not bread!
[07:54] Mitsu
    Oh!
[07:56] Mitsu
    Alms from the great Deer God!
[08:00] Yoshiharu
    It's eating them!
[08:01] Yoshiharu
    Er, of course a deer would eat deer crackers.
[08:04] Yoshiharu
    Damn it!
[08:10] Yoshiharu
    M-My mouth's quickly drying out!
[08:13] Yoshiharu
    What's up next?!
[08:17] Yoshiharu
    Grass?!
[08:18] Yoshiharu
    So bitter!
[08:20] Yoshiharu
    But at this point, I won't be shocked,
    no matter what food comes up next!
[08:26] Yoshiharu
    An antler?!
[08:27] Yoshiharu
    Okay, I get that deer eat grass,
    so it can be considered food.
[08:30] Yoshiharu
    But there's nothing edible about this antler!
[08:33] Narrator
    This show's established precedent
    begs to differ.
[08:42] Yoshiharu
    Of course I'm not going to
    be able to outrun a deer!
[08:50] Mitsu
    I am protected by the great Deer God!
[08:55] Anko
    Coming in first place at the family
    bread-eating race is Inukai Mitsu-san!
[09:02] Yoshiharu
    I failed to win, but I did come third.
[09:05] Yoshiharu
    Maybe now my little sister will see that
    I'm more than some coffee-brewing shut-in.
[09:12] Yoshiharu
    She wasn't even looking!
[09:14] Anko
    The next event is the obstacle course.
SIGN    Red Team   White Team
[09:20] Koshitan
    I haven't been in a single event yet,
    but I already feel like I've run a marathon.
SIGN    White Team
[09:24] Ukai
    On your marks...
[09:26] Ukai
    Get set...
[09:29] Koshitan
    Ah... During a race, I don't have
    to think. I only have to run.
[09:33] Koshitan
    What a relief...
[09:35] Koshitan
    Oh, no. I can't fall behind.
[09:37] Koshitan
    As a student council president who excels
    at sports, I have to get first place!
[09:42] Classmate
    You're so cool, President!
[09:43] Classmate B
    Koshi-san, fight on!
[09:45] Koshitan
    Let's see... The first obstacle is...
[09:51] Koshitan
    Huh?
[09:55] Koshitan
    Wh-What is this?! A bomb?!
[09:57] Anko
    All the obstacles involve bombs.
[09:59] Koshitan
    Bombs and sports festivals do not mix!
[10:06] Koshitan
    That voice!
[10:08] Nokotan
    To raise the excitement level of this festival,
    I've leveled up the obstacles!
[10:08] Nokotan
    Yakiniku Meal
[10:13] Koshitan
    What the hell do you think you're doing?!
SIGN    We are Deer Team
[10:19] Koshitan
    Oh, god! The school grounds!
[10:22] Nokotan
    Hey! Never lower your guard on the battlefield!
[10:24] Koshitan
    It's a damn schoolyard!
[10:28] Nokotan
    What the hell did they teach you at school?
[10:31] Koshitan
    Japanese, math, science, social studies!
    You know, general education!
[10:34] Nokotan
    You're never gonna make it
    out in the real world
[10:37] Nokotan
    if you can't even clear these obstacles!
[10:39] Koshitan
    The real world? In what universe?!
[10:41] Anko
    You can do it, Red Team!
[10:43] Anko
    You can do it, White Team!
[10:44] Koshitan
    You've got some nerve spouting platitudes
    when it's life or death out here!
[10:48] Nokotan
    Koshitan, it's almost time.
[10:50] Koshitan
    Huh?
[10:54] Narrator
    It's more of a death game than a race.
[12:07] Anko
    And that was a performance
    from our cheerleading squad.
[12:11] Koshitan
    I-I'm so beat...
[12:15] Koshitan
    But this was the final morning event.
[12:18] Koshitan
    The club performances have ended.
[12:20] Koshitan
    We're 15 minutes over, but if we
    cut 15 minutes off lunch break,
[12:23] Koshitan
    we'll be back on track, and I'll fulfill
    my duty as the student council president.
[12:28] Anko
    Next up, we have a performance
    by the Deer Club.
[12:32] Koshitan
    The Deer Club?!
[12:33] Anko
    Let's all welcome the Deer Club.
[12:35] Koshitan
    Wait! The Deer Club never signed up for this!
[12:40] Koshitan
    A herd of deer...
[12:42] Koshitan
    This is...
SIGN    Compensating for My Shortcomings
[12:45] Koshitan
    Déjà vu!
[12:49] Koshitan
    Hey! Who said you could sign up our club
    for another damn deer parade?!
[12:54] Koshitan
    Where are we, a zoo?!
[12:56] Koshitan
    Actually, even for a zoo
    this'd be out of the question!
SIGN    Get Rich Quick
[13:06] Koshitan
    No, really! What the hell is this?!
[13:13] Koshitan
    Wait, was there something to cry about?
[13:15] Classmate B
    Tears just came flowing out...
[13:17] Classmate C
    Way to go, Deer Club.
[13:19] Gyaru B
    I'm thinking maybe the whole reason
    I was born was to see this.
[13:22] Mitsu
    Praise be! Praise be!
[13:25] Koshitan
    This isn't what you think it is!
[13:27] Koshitan
    You're all being tricked!
[13:31] Koshitan
    Just hurry up and get the hell outta here!
[13:33] Koshitan
    You're already over time!
[13:36] Koshitan
    Get down here already!
SIGN    Hino Deer
    For Life
[13:40] Nokotan
    Whoa, there.
[13:41] Koshitan
    I keep telling you we don't have time for this!
[13:44] Narrator
    Will Koshitan be able to end
    the sports festival on time?
[13:48] Narrator
    Find out after the break!
SIGN    Nikko City, Tochigi Prefecture
    Yuno Lake, Yumoto
SIGN    Nikko City, Tochigi Prefecture
    Yuno Lake, Yumoto
[13:57] Anko
    The first afternoon event will be tug-of-war.
[14:01] Koshitan
    All that, and we only just
    made it to the eyecatch?
[14:07] Ukai
    Ready... Start!
[14:10] Kids
    Pull! Pull! Pull! Pull!
[14:13] Koshitan
    In any case, this is a proper event,
    so I need to do my best.
[14:16] Koshitan
    Ooh? We're pulling pretty well.
    We might just have it in the bag!
[14:23] Koshitan
    Actually, we seem to be 
    pulling a bit too well.
[14:26] Koshitan
    And this rope seems awkwardly smooth...
[14:29] Koshitan
    Smooth?
[14:30] Koshitan
    It's not even a freakin' rope!
[14:32] Koshitan
    This texture...
[14:34] Koshitan
    It can't be...
[14:34] Koshitan
    It's an antler!
[14:38] Nokotan
    Approximately 16 seconds remain!
[14:41] Nokotan
    I wonder how far each team
    will be able to stretch!
[14:43] Koshitan
    That's not how tug-of-war works at all!
[14:45] Koshitan
    Stop changing the damn rules!
[14:47] Anko
    This tug-of-war—or rather,
    tug-of-antler battle is getting fired up.
[14:50] Koshitan
    And you need to stop acting like
    nothing weird is happening!
[14:53] Koshitan
    You're all way too accepting
    of all these crazy changes!
[14:58] Ukai
    And we're done!
[15:00] Anko
    Uh-oh, looks like time's up.
[15:02] Anko
    And we've got our record. It's 325 meters.
[15:05] Koshitan
    Record of what?
[15:06] Anko
    And so, the winner is Nokotan!
[15:09] Koshitan
    Wha?!
[15:10] Nokotan
    Yay!
SIGN    No Reply Necessary
[15:11] Koshitan
    Hello? Did she even do anything?
SIGN    Thumbs Up
[15:14] Anko
    Oh? Looks like the judge
    is also giving the OK.
[15:17] Anko
    Nokotan has established a new record.
[15:20] Koshitan
    Uh, when the hell did a judge get here?!
[15:23] Narrator
    In the track-and-field game of tug-of-antler,
    a new world record has been established.
[15:27] Anko
    The next event is the ball toss.
[15:30] Neko
    Okay! Please form two lines with your classes!
[15:34] Neko
    The president and I will be
    the referees for this game.
[15:37] Neko
    This is the perfect opportunity
    for me to find her weakness!
[15:40] Classmate A
    Neko-chan is just as tiny and cute as ever!
[15:43] Neko
    Speaking of, the president sure is late.
[15:46] Koshitan
    Sorry... It took forever
    to finish up tug-of-antler.
[15:51] Neko
    Eek! A-Are you all right?
[15:54] Neko
    Your face seems to have fallen apart.
[15:56] Koshitan
    I'm fine.
[15:58] Neko
    That's exactly what someone
    who isn't fine would say.
[16:01] Neko
    Um...
[16:02] Neko
    Would you like some water?
[16:03] Neko
    Maybe some stomach medicine?
[16:05] Neko
    Actually, before that, maybe
    you should have a light snack.
[16:08] Neko
    Do you want me to go buy you something?
[16:10] Koshitan
    I'm okay... Thanks.
[16:14] Narrator
    Even Neko-chan didn't have
    the heart to try to find the weakness
[16:17] Narrator
    of someone whose face
    had literally fallen apart.
[16:25] Neko
    Please actually aim for the baskets!
[16:28] Neko
    Please don't stick out like that!
[16:30] Koshitan
    Hey... Aim for the baskets...
[16:33] Koshitan
    P-Please don't stick out like that...
[16:35] Neko
    Whew... Man, the sports festival is
    way more hectic than I thought it'd be.
[16:40] Neko
    I want to hurry up and finish up work
    so Tsucchi can comfort me.
[16:43] Neko
    I wonder what Tsucchi
    is doing right about now.
[16:47] Neko
    I wonder if they're asleep.
    I hope they're not cold...
[16:51] Neko
    Huh?
[16:54] Neko
    Tsucchi!
[16:59] Neko
    What're you doing here?!
[17:00] Neko
    Er, more importantly...
[17:02] Neko
    I need to protect Tsucchi!
[17:07] Neko
    There's nothing here!
[17:10] Neko
    Wait! Don't go out!
[17:12] Koshitan
    Nekoyamada-san, please get back to work...
[17:15] Narrator
    And so, the game was paused.
[17:18] Narrator
    It was delayed 15 minutes, and Koshitan's
    stomach gained around six more holes.
[17:23] Koshitan
    I have never been this
    exhausted in my entire life.
[17:26] Anko
    The next event is the relay race by grade.
[17:31] Koshitan
    But the only event left is the relay!
[17:34] Koshitan
    My stomach's full of holes and my face
    fell apart, but it's almost over.
[17:38] Koshitan
    This hell of a sports festival will be over!
[17:40] Tanuki
    President! We've got trouble!
SIGN    Boom
[17:45] Tanuki
    Th-The deer have all started lounging
    around on the track, and at this rate,
[17:48] Tanuki
    we won't be able to do the final relay!
[17:51] Koshitan
    I just can't anymore...
[17:54] Tanuki
    It's all over!
SIGN    Sports festival failure
SIGN    Student council disbands
SIGN    Expulsion awaits
SIGN    Left with nowhere to go
SIGN    Only death awaits!
SIGN    Will
[18:02] Koshitan
    Uh... Seriously, your imagination
    is way out of control.
[18:05] Tanuki
    B-B-B-B-But...
[18:08] Koshitan
    Calm down, Tanukikoji-san.
[18:10] Koshitan
    There's still a chance.
[18:12] Koshitan
    I know!
[18:13] Koshitan
    That's right! It's now or never!
[18:14] Koshitan
    Don't underestimate the guts
    of a former delinquent!
[18:17] Koshitan
    Now's the time for the Deer Club to act!
[18:19] Koshitan
    Shikanoko... is not here.
[18:21] Koshitan
    Anko... is commentating.
[18:23] Koshitan
    Oh, fine! Bashame! Where are you?!
[18:26] Bashame
    Bashame's here.
[18:27] Koshitan
    She's in full farming gear?!
[18:30] Bashame
    Bashame told you that she was
    getting ready to plant rice.
[18:34] Koshitan
    And I told you to help 
    with the sports festival!
[18:37] Bashame
    But Bashame already worked
    hard on maintenance.
[18:41] Koshitan
    Wait, really?
[18:43] Bashame
    Of the rice paddy.
[18:44] Koshitan
    Enough with the farming!
[18:46] Koshitan
    Anyway, I need everyone who's free
    to help herd those deer off the track!
[18:51] Koshitan
    I think you mean, "Yes, ma'am!"
SIGN    10 minutes later...
[18:55] Tanuki
    P-P-Please don't eat me!
[18:57] Neko
    Hey! Let go of Tsucchi!
[19:00] Bashame
    Just a nibble, okay?
[19:05] Ukai
    What should we do, Koshi-san?
[19:07] Ukai
    I don't think we'll be able
    to begin the relay like this.
[19:10] Koshitan
    Don't worry! I'll figure something out!
[19:12] Ukai
    Really? Okay, then.
[19:15] Koshitan
    We're totally screwed!
[19:21] Koshitan
    Crap. Crap. Crap.
[19:22] Koshitan
    At this rate...
SIGN    Sports festival failure
SIGN    Student council disbands
SIGN    Failure as the student council president
SIGN    Fall from grace as an honor student
SIGN    Left with nowhere to go
SIGN    Only death awaits!
[19:33] Koshitan
    Yeah, no! I'm definitely overthinking this!
[19:35] Koshitan
    Calm down, me!
[19:36] Koshitan
    Damn it! How did this happen, anyway?
SIGN    Final Return
[19:42] Koshitan
    It's you...
[19:49] Koshitan
    Nokotan! Come here!
[19:52] Koshitan
    I've got something nice waiting for you!
[19:55] Koshitan
    Nokotan! Come here!
[19:58] Koshitan
    I've got something nice waiting for you!
[20:00] Koshitan
    Nokotan! Come here!
[20:03] Koshitan
    I've got something nice...
[20:05] Koshitan
    in your dreams!
[20:21] Koshitan
    Hey, you damn deer!
SIGN    Perfect Weather
[20:34] Koshitan
    Eat this!
[20:46] Nokotan
    My secret stash of deer crackers!
[20:49] Koshitan
    Shut your mouth! This whole
    event's a mess because of you!
[20:52] Koshitan
    Don't go bringing a damn
    herd of deer to the school!
[20:55] Koshitan
    You're always meddling with everything!
[20:58] Koshitan
    I've had enough of you, you jackass!
[21:06] Koshitan
    N-Now I've done it!
[21:09] Koshitan
    I lost my cool, got mad,
    and totally broke my façade.
[21:12] Koshitan
    My life as a high school honor
    student is truly over now.
[21:19] Classmate A
    Koshi-san's so cool!
[21:21] Koshitan
    Huh?
[21:22] Classmate C
    Being cool comes so naturally to her.
[21:25] Classmate A
    I'm totally for it. Actually, she
    seems even more relatable now.
[21:28] Classmate B
    I want Koshi-san to yell at me, too.
[21:31] Ukai
    She's not afraid to put people
    in line when necessary.
[21:33] Ukai
    Truly, a wonderful student council president!
[21:35] Neko
    That's great.
[21:37] Neko
    It'll make it all the more worthwhile
    to drag you down.
[21:41] Tanuki
    She's been showing her true self
    here and there anyway.
[21:46] Nokotan
    Good for you, Koshitan.
SIGN    Whrrrrrrrrrrrr
[21:48] Narrator
    Part of her was happy
    to be accepted for who she was,
[21:52] Narrator
    but at the same time, she wondered why
    she had worked so hard up until this point.
[21:59] Narrator
    By the way, the sports festival
    ran three hours late.
[22:02] Koshitan
    Goddamn it!

E10 - Blame it on the Spring
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    This is a work of fiction. The names of the people, places, and organizations
    are fictitious and in no way related to any real person or entity.
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
[00:18] Koshitan
    Now that the sports festival is over,
[00:20] Koshitan
    I actually have time
    to admire the cherry blossoms.
[00:22] Narrator
    The seasons have changed,
[00:24] Narrator
    and springtime has come again
    to Hino-Minami High,
[00:26] Narrator
    where Koshitan and the others go to school.
[00:29] Narrator
    Remember when I said this series wasn't
    stuck in the Sazae-san space-time dimension?
[00:33] Narrator
    Well, I lied!
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
[00:34] Koshitan
    Might be about time to enjoy some cherry-
    blossom viewing in front of the clubhouse.
[00:38] Koshitan
    Good work, everyone.
[00:49] Koshitan
    What's wrong, Shikanoko?!
[00:51] Nokotan
    Oh, Koshitan.
[00:52] Koshitan
    Why are you crying? Did you get hurt?
[00:55] Koshitan
    Or are you hungry?
    We have plenty of deer crackers.
SIGN    Deer Crackers
[01:00] Nokotan
    I'm not even sad, but I just can't
    stop crying for some reason.
[01:07] Nokotan
    That's weird, right?
[01:09] Nokotan
    Maybe it's because it's spring.
[01:11] Koshitan
    Shikanoko... You...
[01:15] Koshitan
    You probably have allergies.
SIGN    Blame It on the Spring
[02:56] Nokotan
    Nah, nah, nah, nah.
[02:57] Nokotan
    What are you even talking about, Koshitan?
[03:00] Nokotan
    Did you happen to forget?
[03:02] Nokotan
    I am a deer!
[03:04] Nokotan
    I am Nokotan the deer!
[03:06] Nokotan
    Allergies only affect you humans!
[03:08] Nokotan
    There's no way they'd affect a deer like me!
[03:12] Koshitan
    The hell is that symptom?!
    Is that actually an allergy symptom?
[03:16] Nokotan
    It itches! Everything itches!
[03:39] Nokotan
    I just can't stop crying. But why?
[03:42] Koshitan
    I just told you. You have allergies.
[03:44] Nokotan
    Objection! It's absolutely not allergies!
[03:47] Nokotan
    Allergies could never bring a wild deer down!
[03:50] Koshitan
    Oh? So what do you think is causing this?
[03:52] Nokotan
    I think I have a cold!
[03:55] Koshitan
    Stop being so damn stubborn!
    Those aren't cold symptoms.
[03:58] Koshitan
    Also, what's with people who get allergies
    hating to ever admit they have allergies?
[04:02] Narrator
    Just Allergy Things, number one:
[04:04] Narrator
    When people with allergies
    absolutely deny having them.
[04:08] Tanuki
    I wonder what that's all about.
[04:09] Neko
    How in the world would I know?
[04:11] Tsubame
    So cute...
[04:13] Neko
    But lucky me! I can't believe I've
    happened upon this bizarre situation!
[04:16] Neko
    I'll use this opening to disband the Deer Club—
[04:22] Neko
    It itches! It itches! It itches!
[04:39] Nokotan
    Okay! Well!
[04:39] Nokotan
    Do you not have allergies, then, Koshitan?!
[04:43] Koshitan
    Hm? Me?
[04:44] Koshitan
    I haven't once suffered from allergies in my
    seventeen years on Earth, and I never will!
[04:49] Narrator
    Just Allergy Things, number two:
[04:51] Narrator
    People who are oddly confident
    that they will never have them.
[04:56] Nokotan
    No fair, Koshitan!
[04:58] Nokotan
    You're just some dumb human!
[04:59] Koshitan
    Pfft, say whatever you want.
[05:02] Nokotan
    You're just some former delinquent!
[05:03] Nokotan
    And you like girly things, too!
[05:05] Koshitan
    What's that got to do with anything?
[05:07] Nokotan
    I can't go on with some human
    who doesn't understand this pain!
[05:10] Nokotan
    We're disbanding the Deer Club as of today!
[05:13] Koshitan
    Over something this trivial?!
[05:14] Narrator
    Their paths have diverged.
[05:16] Neko
    The Deer Club is disbanding?!
[05:17] Neko
    Yes! Finally my ambition is...
[05:23] Neko
    Ugh! Now's not the time for that!
[05:26] Narrator
    Just Allergy Things, number three:
[05:28] Narrator
    When people lose out on golden opportunities
    because they can't think straight.
[05:32] Tanuki
    I-I-I can't believe it's gotten this bad!
[05:35] Tanuki
    After being villainized as an enemy
    of humanity since time immemorial,
[05:38] Tanuki
    cedar pollen is finally taking its revenge!
[05:40] Tsubame
    Do you have allergies, too, Kinu?
[05:42] Narrator
    She does not.
SIGN    Student Council
[05:46] Tsubame
    Kinu, do you have any tissues?
[05:49] Tanuki
    Oh, sorry. I only have this handkerchief.
[05:51] Tanuki
    Want to use it?
[05:53] Tsubame
    Um, Vice President,
[05:54] Tsubame
    why don't we go back to the student
    council office so you can blow your nose?
[06:00] Koshitan
    At least wash all that floof off of you.
[06:03] Koshitan
    I'll go get you a towel.
[06:09] Nokotan
    Ah, that feels so nice!
[06:13] Nokotan
    But it still feels itchy deep in my antlers.
[06:16] Koshitan
    Did you finish washing up?
[06:19] Nokotan
    Ah, I feel alive again.
[06:22] Koshitan
    What the hell am I witnessing
    right now? Yikes!
[06:31] Nokotan
    Ah, all better.
[06:33] Floof
    Here I come again.
[06:37] Nokotan
    We have pollination!
[06:38] Narrator
    It definitely feels like springtime is here.
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
[06:45] Nokotan
    Dang it! It still itches!
[06:47] Narrator
    Just Allergy Things, number four:
[06:49] Narrator
    Allergy-inspired rage that has no outlet.
[06:52] Koshitan
    Come to think of it, they make
    glasses for people with allergies.
[06:55] Koshitan
    They're designed to keep
    pollen out of the eyes.
[06:57] Nokotan
    That's what I need!
[07:00] Nokotan
    Ta-dah! I borrowed some goggles
    from the swim team!
[07:03] Koshitan
    Ooh.
[07:04] Nokotan
    Yay! I don't itch anymore! Now I win!
[07:07] Nokotan
    You ain't got nothin' on me, allergies!
[07:16] Nokotan
    My antlers are itching again.
[07:18] Koshitan
    Wait, what the hell was that?!
[07:19] Koshitan
    Did... Did your antlers just sneeze?!
[07:22] Koshitan
    Here, have some tissues.
[07:24] Koshitan
    The next time you feel a sneeze coming on,
    blow your antlers with those.
[07:27] Nokotan
    I want fancy tissues like Antler Celeb.
[07:29] Koshitan
    Quit being picky!
[07:31] Koshitan
    Hey, are you okay?
[07:33] Nokotan
    My nose is stuffed up,
    so my voice is all nasally.
[07:36] Koshitan
    You sound super weird!
[07:39] Nokotan
    Oh, why do these horrible things
    just keep happening to me?
[07:44] Koshitan
    Why are you trying to act like a tragic
    heroine with snot coming out of your nose?
[07:47] Nokotan
    Living in a world like this
    is too much! I'm done!
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
[07:51] Nokotan
    I'm done!
[07:52] Nokotan
    I'm done!
[07:54] Nokotan
    I'm done!
SIGN    Hino Zoo
[07:55] Nokotan
    I'm done!
[07:56] Nokotan
    I'm done!
[08:07] Nokotan
    Everyone... Are you here to cheer me up?
[08:10] Nokotan
    Even you, Tsunoda-san?
[08:13] Koshitan
    And they're here again...
[08:15] Nokotan
    Thanks... I won't let this get me down!
[08:18] Nokotan
    I know! I just had a great idea!
[08:21] Nokotan
    Let's burn down the cedar trees!
[08:23] Koshitan
    Could you not say something so ominous?
[08:25] Koshitan
    Not to mention, burning down the
    cedar trees in the neighborhood
[08:28] Koshitan
    isn't gonna fix your allergies—
[08:29] Nokotan
    Koshitan, did you forget?
[08:32] Nokotan
    My antlers have a dynamite version, too.
[08:40] Nokotan
    And I've shed a lot of antlers.
[08:43] Koshitan
    Don't tell me you...
[08:45] Nokotan
    With these, I'm going to blow up
    every last cedar grove in Japan!
[08:49] Koshitan
    Could you not store explosives
    in the clubhouse?
[08:52] Nokotan
    I will return it all to nothing, so that
    a new world can rise from the ashes!
[08:55] Koshitan
    What's with the final boss spiel?
[08:58] Neko
    I want in on that plan!
[08:59] Koshitan
    Nekoyamada-san?!
[09:02] Nokotan
    Ah, Comrade Shikayamada.
[09:04] Neko
    It's Nekoyamada!
[09:07] Nokotan
    What's one thing our world
    would be better off without?
[09:09] Nokotan
    Let me tell you... Cedars!
[09:12] Neko
    Precisely!
[09:13] Nokotan
    Say no to pollen!
[09:15] Neko
    No to pollen!
[09:16] Nokotan
    Say no to pollen!
[09:17] Neko
    No to pollen!
[09:19] Nokotan
    Say no to pollen!
[09:20] Neko
    No to pollen!
[09:23] Koshitan
    Now, hold on a sec. There's probably
    something I should mention first.
[09:27] Nokotan
    Something you should mention?
SIGN    Hino Veterinary Hospital for Doggies and Kitties
[09:33] Nokotan
    No! I don't like hospitals!
[09:37] Vet
    Now, now. Just stay still for me.
[09:39] Neko
    Why am I here, too?! I'm not a cat!
[09:42] Vet
    Now, now. Just stay still for me.
[09:44] Koshitan
    Don't hate me. This is part
    of my job as your owner.
[09:48] Floof
    Here I come again!
[09:52] Receptionist
    Koshi-san, you can head
    into the exam room next.
[09:55] Koshitan
    Huh?!
[09:56] Narrator
    Just Allergy Things, number five:
[09:58] Narrator
    When someone who swears they'll never
    suffer from allergies finally gets them.
SIGN    Izu Peninsula
    Hachijo-jima
SIGN    Hachijo-jima
    Reeves's muntjacs
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
[10:13] Koshitan
    Shikanoko hasn't been coming
    to the Deer Club lately.
[10:17] Koshitan
    Damn it. Where's she slacking off at?
SIGN    Deer Crackers
[10:20] Anko
    So it's been a week since she
    was last at the clubhouse...
[10:23] Anko
    That's actually pretty long.
[10:27] Koshitan
    We can't do Deer Club activities
    without our deer!
[10:31] Anko
    What could she possibly be up to, and where?
[10:33] Koshitan
    She's been coming to school, so it's just her
    after-school whereabouts that are unknown.
[10:37] Koshitan
    Wait! Did she quit the Deer Club
    and join some other club?!
[10:41] Koshitan
    Oh, no... This castle I've made for myself,
    not to mention the Deer Club, is in peril!
[10:46] (Flashback) Ukai
    A club with no deer cannot stand!
[10:50] Koshitan
    We can't just sit here! We're going
    to look for Shikanoko, you two!
[10:53] Anko and Bashame
    Aw...
[10:56] Koshitan
    Damn it.
[10:57] Koshitan
    Somehow, I ended up having
    to look for her all by myself.
SIGN    Flower Arrangement Club
[11:04] Girl
    Yay!
SIGN    Flower Arrangement Club
[11:06] Koshitan
    The Flower Arrangement Club?
[11:08] Koshitan
    It seems oddly lively.
[11:10] Teacher
    Ahem. We have a special
    lecturer visiting us today.
[11:15] Teacher
    This is Nokotan-sensei.
[11:18] Koshitan
    There she is!
[11:21] Girl 2
    Nokotan-sensei!
[11:22] Girl 3
    You're so amazing!
[11:23] Koshitan
    Wh-What the hell is Shikanoko doing
    in the Flower Arrangement Club?
[11:26] Koshitan
    And what did she mean by special lecturer?
[11:28] Teacher
    Now, let's have our lecturer
    perform a flower arrangement.
[11:31] Teacher
    Sensei, if you would.
[11:34] Koshitan
    Wha? Like she'd know anything
    about flower arrangement.
[11:38] Nokotan
    Very well.
[11:40] Koshitan
    What's this sudden atmosphere?
[11:43] Koshitan
    Could she have some knack for it
    that I didn't know about?
[11:47] Nokotan
    Shikanoko Style Technique...
[11:53] Koshitan
    Yeah, nope.
[12:06] Koshitan
    Don't use your damn head for a flower bed!
[12:08] Koshitan
    There's a thing called being too free!
[12:10] Girl 1
    That's so impressive, Nokotan-sensei!
[12:12] Girl 2
    Rather than flowers, she arranged her antlers!
[12:14] Girl 3
    What a wonderful idea!
[12:16] Koshitan
    So you agree.
    It's not a flower arrangement at all.
[12:50] Teacher
    I-I've never seen such technique!
[12:52] Koshitan
    What technique?!
[12:53] Girl 1
    Her flower-less arrangement
    was already impressive,
[12:55] Girl 1
    but with her bold new crumb-
    scattering idea on top of that...
[12:58] Girl 2
    This could change the history
    of flower arrangement forever!
[13:02] Girl 3
    It's a revolution in the
    flower-arrangement world!
[13:04] Koshitan
    Again, this isn't even
    flower arrangement anymore.
[13:08] Teacher
    I knew my eye for talent didn't fail me!
[13:16] (Flashback) Nokotan
    May a thousand antlers bloom!
[13:22] Teacher
    I still haven't forgotten how your artwork
    that day resonated with my very soul!
[13:27] Teacher
    Now, Nokotan-sensei, would you be so kind
    as to tell us the title of this piece?
[13:34] Nokotan
    "Tsuno to Shika."
[13:36] Narrator
    Sounds very similar to a Yonezu Kenshi
    song title from a while back.
[13:40] Teacher
    It's... It's just so deep!
[13:42] Koshitan
    How?! It's not deep!
    It's actually pretty damn shallow!
[13:45] Girl 1
    So this uses the deer crackers
    to represent the parched earth
[13:49] Girl 1
    and expresses the bond that was born
    from deer and humans living together.
[13:53] Girl 3
    It's genius!
[13:54] Girl 2
    This is amazing, Nokotan-sensei. I'm in awe.
[13:57] Koshitan
    You're seriously overthinking this.
[14:01] Teacher
    Now, let's have Nokotan-sensei
    observe all of your works.
[14:06] Girl 1
    Sensei! Please look at mine!
[14:08] Girl 2
    No, mine!
[14:09] Girl 3
    Mine first!
[14:10] Nokotan
    Yes, yes. I'll look at all of yours
    in order, one at a time.
[14:13] Koshitan
    What is this, an idol handshake event?!
[14:17] Girl 3
    Um... I tried to express the beauty
    of springtime with this piece.
[14:21] Teacher
    It's quite lovely. But I also
    feel like it lacks impact.
[14:27] Koshitan
    I mean, considering what you all just saw,
    everything's gonna lack impact.
[14:31] Teacher
    What do you think, Sensei?
[14:34] Nokotan
    Well...
[14:36] Nokotan
    Um, well, er, you know...
[14:38] Nokotan
    It needs better nutrition.
[14:40] Koshitan
    Are you giving advice to some college freshman
    that just started living on their own?!
[14:43] Girl 3
    Oh, I see!
[14:44] Koshitan
    What exactly made sense there?!
[14:46] Nokotan
    All you need is a bit of wildness,
    cuteness, umami, and some antlers.
[14:49] Nokotan
    And a pinch of salt.
[14:51] Girl 3
    You're right! How did I not notice it before?
[14:55] Koshitan
    Is that necessary? No, really. Is any of
    that necessary for flower arrangement?
[14:59] Nokotan
    This is what you get once
    you add all those things.
[15:02] Koshitan
    So graphic!
[15:03] Koshitan
    Where'd the "beauty of spring" aspect go?!
[15:05] Koshitan
    Are we in a jungle?! Also, don't
    just add onto someone else's piece!
[15:10] Girl 3
    It's lovely!
[15:11] Koshitan
    Well, as long as she's happy.
[15:13] Nokotan
    And for the final touch...
[15:20] Koshitan
    Uh, why a guitar?! And do you have an
    extra-dimensional pocket in there?!
[15:46] Koshitan
    Uh... What even is this performance?
[15:48] Koshitan
    It's not even a proper song.
[15:53] Koshitan
    Oh god, it's moving!
[15:55] Koshitan
    Wait, I've seen these things on TV before!
[15:58] Teacher
    The flowers... are alive!
[16:01] Koshitan
    With the sound of music?!
[16:03] Koshitan
    Talk about lame!
[16:05] Teacher
    I knew I was right about you,
    Nokotan-sensei! My eyes never lie—
[16:11] Koshitan
    See? This is what you get for
    saying something so clichéd!
[16:15] Girl 1
    So you're saying that with birth
    also comes death!
[16:19] Girl 1
    It's the circle of life!
[16:22] Girl 2
    The god of the flower arrangement world—
    no, of the new world has been born!
[16:25] Girl 3
    She's a shoo-in for the Nobel Prize!
[16:28] Koshitan
    All of you, quit flower arrangement right now!
[16:34] Teacher
    Oh, dearie me. It's about
    time to leave school.
[16:37] Teacher
    Sensei—no, O God!
    Please continue tomorrow.
[16:41] Nokotan
    I won't be coming tomorrow.
[16:43] Teacher
    What?! Then the day after tomorrow?
[16:46] Nokotan
    I won't be coming to the Flower
    Arrangement Club anymore.
[16:48] Teacher
    No! But you have so much talent! So why?!
[16:52] Nokotan
    The novelty's worn off!
[16:53] Girl
    Don't go!
[16:54] Girl
    What'll happen to the new world you've shown us?
[16:57] Nokotan
    Don't care!
[16:59] Koshitan
    The Flower Arrangement Club's scary.
SIGN    The Next Day
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
[17:12] Nokotan
    Nothing beats the Deer Club.
[17:13] Koshitan
    Oh, I see.
SIGN    
    A very cute
    Reeves's muntjac
    from Hachijo-jima
[17:28] Bashame
    A perfect day for planting some rice!
[17:39] Anko
    Oh, Onee-chan.
[17:43] Bashame
    Anko-chan!
[17:44] Anko
    I'm not helping you.
SIGN    Deer Crackers
[17:47] Bashame
    But Bashame hasn't said anything yet.
[17:50] Anko
    Did I guess wrong?
[17:51] Bashame
    No, but...
[17:54] Bashame
    Come plant some rice with me, Anko-chan.
[17:57] Anko
    No. I don't want to get dirty.
[18:00] Bashame
    But Bashame cultivated the land,
    all to plant Bashame's rice paddy today!
[18:03] Bashame
    Bashame spent seven episodes on this!
[18:06] Bashame
    It's a product of Bashame's
    blood, sweat, and tears.
[18:09] Anko
    Seven episodes?
[18:10] Bashame
    Come on. Bashame promises you
    a completely new experience.
[18:14] Anko
    I'm going to pass.
[18:16] Bashame
    You just won't take the bait.
[18:17] Anko
    I'll take that as a compliment.
[18:19] Anko
    Also, you didn't get permission from the
    school for your rice paddy, did you?
[18:22] Bashame
    Of course not!
[18:24] Narrator
    This could very well be a crime.
[18:30] Bashame
    Um... Who were you again?
[18:34] Bashame
    Tsu... Tsu...
[18:36] Bashame
    Tsudayama!
[18:37] Anko
    You mean Tsucchi.
[18:38] Bashame
    Yes, exactly. Tsucchi.
[18:40] Bashame
    Tsucchi! Let's plant some rice together!
[18:43] Bashame
    Stare...
[18:47] Bashame
    Stare...
[18:53] Bashame
    Okay, now that you've agreed,
    it's time to plant some rice!
[19:01] Anko
    Good luck out there.
[19:02] Bashame
    Ricey rice, ricey rice.
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
[19:05] Bashame
    Hino City specialty Bashame Rice.
[19:09] Bashame
    Come one, come all.
[19:13] Bashame
    If you have a moment, come have a bite.
[19:17] Bashame
    Some delicious, delicious, Bashame Rice.
[19:30] Bashame
    Ooh, not bad, Tsudayama.
[19:37] Bashame
    It looks like it's time for Bashame
    to reveal her true power!
[19:51] Bashame
    Aw, now we have to start all over.
[19:54] Bashame
    But this isn't enough to keep Bashame down.
[20:00] Bashame
    Ooh, so you're still rarin' to go, Tsudayama.
[20:04] Bashame
    In that case, let's do this again.
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
[20:17] Anko
    Hey, you two. Are you
    done planting your rice?
[20:21] Bashame
    Oh, Anko-chan.
[20:23] Bashame
    We just finished.
[20:26] Anko
    Wow, planting rice really is dirty work.
[20:29] Anko
    I'm glad I didn't help out after all.
[20:33] Bashame
    Rice balls!
[20:35] Anko
    Wow...
[20:42] Bashame
    Yummy!
[20:43] Bashame
    Your rice balls can easily
    get three stars, Anko-chan!
[20:47] Anko
    Well, I'm honored. Are you
    enjoying your meal, too?
[20:53] Bashame
    You're really nice, Anko-chan.
[20:56] Anko
    Not really. I'm just used
    to making packed lunches.
[20:59] Bashame
    Oh? So you make the
    packed lunches, Anko-chan?
[21:03] Anko
    Yeah, because my sister sucks at cooking.
[21:15] Bashame
    The rice planting's all done.
[21:19] Bashame
    What should we do next?
[21:34] Anko
    Since you're growing rice and all...
[21:37] Anko
    Why don't you pickle some plums?
[21:40] Bashame
    Anko-chan, that's...
[21:43] Anko
    genius!
[21:46] Anko
    Well, I guess we know what you're doing next.
[21:49] Bashame
    Yes!
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
[21:50] Bashame
    Let's have a rice ball party in the fall with
    some Bashame Rice and Bashame Pickled Plums!
[21:55] Anko
    Sounds good.
[21:56] Bashame
    We should get some chickens
    so we can eat some egg over rice, too.
[22:00] Anko
    Sure. Some yakitori would be good, too.

E11 - The Pursuer and the Pursued
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    This is a work of fiction. The names of the people, places, and organizations
    are fictitious and in no way related to any real person or entity.
[00:14] Koshitan
    It's so peaceful.
[00:16] Koshitan
    I hope these days continue forever.
[00:20] Koshitan
    Anyway, back to class.
[00:31] Koshitan
    Well, that peace sure didn't last.
[02:15] Koshitan
    The hell is that?! A nose bubble?
[02:18] Koshitan
    No, an antler bubble?!
[02:25] Koshitan
    A fairytale scene... but only visually!
[02:32] Koshitan
    Why do you sound like that in your sleep?
[02:34] Koshitan
    Or rather, don't fall asleep during class.
    Especially this boldly.
[02:44] Koshitan
    As the class rep, student council president,
    and this deer's caretaker,
[02:50] Koshitan
    I should probably wake her up.
[02:52] Koshitan
    Hey, Shikanoko. Wake up.
[02:56] Koshitan
    And she's not waking up.
[02:58] Koshitan
    Shikanoko! Hey, Shikanoko!
[03:01] Koshitan
    Wake—
[03:05] Koshitan
    Wha?
[03:06] Narrator
    Reflexes so sharp, you wonder
    if she's really asleep at all.
[03:19] Koshitan
    Is she rowing a boat now?
[03:21] Koshitan
    Well, I mean, I can understand
    getting sleepy during last period.
[03:28] Koshitan
    Huh?
[03:31] Koshitan
    A bird?!
[03:33] Koshitan
    Followed by more!
[03:37] Koshitan
    And she hasn't noticed at all!
SIGN    10 Minutes Later
[03:39] Narrator
    Ten minutes later.
[03:43] Koshitan
    Okay, wake up already!
[03:45] Ukai
    Koshi-san? What's the matter?
[03:47] Koshitan
    Er, it's nothing.
[03:49] Narrator
    Some things have to be called out,
    even in the middle of class.
[03:54] Ukai
    And then an adjective gets added here...
[03:59] Koshitan
    It's a little late to be asking now, but...
[04:01] Koshitan
    Why is no one saying a damn thing
    about all of this?!
[04:05] Sparrow
    Jab, jab. Jab, jab.
[04:07] Narrator
    Just* My Deer Friend Nokotan Things.
[04:10] Koshitan
    She's seriously not waking up at all.
    It's messed up!
[04:14] Ukai
    Let's see... Who should we have
    translate this sentence into Japanese?
[04:17] Ukai
    Well, today's the 12th, so the person
    who's attendance number 12!
[04:23] Koshitan
    Crap!
SIGN    Number 12
SIGN    Number 12
[04:24] Koshitan
    Hey, Shikanoko!
SIGN    Psssssszzzzzzzzz
[04:29] Koshitan
    She's gonna call on you!
[04:33] Ukai
    Let's see. Number 12 is...
[04:36] Koshitan
    Shikanoko!
[04:44] Nokotan
    Your tag's still on.
[04:49] Ukai
    No way! Oh, no! I forgot to cut the tag off!
[04:52] Student A
    Wait, my tag's not still on, is it?!
[04:55] Boy B
    Hey, who was that just now?
[05:00] Koshitan
    And she's still asleep!
[05:02] Koshitan
    Could you not say such*
    stress-inducing things in your sleep?!
[05:04] Narrator
    You can bet Class 3-B didn't
    get any work done after that.
SIGN    Hokkaido
    Notsuke Peninsula
    Shiretoko Mountain Range
SIGN    Hokkaido
    Notsuke Peninsula
    Mount Rausu
SIGN    MY DEER FRIEND NOKOTAN
[05:27] Kumatori
    Well, well...
[05:33] Kumatori
    I definitely smell something.
[05:45] Nokotan
    This pressure... It couldn't be.
[05:48] Koshitan
    All right. Time for club.
[05:50] Koshitan
    Hey, Shikanoko. Let's go.
[05:53] Koshitan
    Huh? She was just here a moment ago.
[06:07] Koshitan
    Who're you?!
[06:10] Kumatori
    The scent was coming from here,
    but I guess it got away.
[06:13] Koshitan
    You're from a whole other world!
[06:15] Kumatori
    I, Kumatori Soichiro, was once known
    as a legendary Matagi hunter,
[06:20] Kumatori
    but it seems I've lost my edge.
[06:22] Kumatori
    My life's greatest regret.
[06:24] Koshitan
    Uh... You just randomly
    started recounting your past?
[06:26] Koshitan
    But thanks. At least I know who you are now.
[06:29] Koshitan
    But why'd a Matagi suddenly show up?
[06:31] Koshitan
    Not to mention, this dude
    is definitely trespassing.
[06:37] Koshitan
    Um... What could a Matagi want at our school?
[06:42] Koshitan
    Did you get permission to be here?
[06:46] Kumatori
    It's still warm.
[06:48] Koshitan
    This dude's not listening to me at all.
[06:51] Kumatori
    My quarry can't have gone far.
[06:53] Koshitan
    No, really! Did you get
    permission to be here—
[06:55] Kumatori
    I won't let you escape!
[07:02] Koshitan
    Guess I'm reporting him.
[07:03] Nokotan
    Is he gone?
[07:05] Koshitan
    Huh? Shikanoko? Hey, where are you?
[07:09] Koshitan
    Huh?
[07:10] Nokotan
    Whew, I'm saved.
[07:13] Koshitan
    This is a school, right?!
[07:14] Koshitan
    What's goin' on with our floors?!
[07:16] Nokotan
    Thank goodness I made some modifications
    just in case something like this happened!
[07:20] Koshitan
    Don't go modifying school property!
[07:23] Koshitan
    Want me to report you, too?
[07:25] Koshitan
    More importantly, what's
    that Matagi even doing here?
[07:30] Koshitan
    He was touching your desk.
[07:32] Nokotan
    Today's the Day of the Deer.
[07:35] Koshitan
    The Day of the Deer?
[07:36] Narrator
    The Day of the Deer,
[07:39] Narrator
    on the fourth Tuesday
    of each month in Hokkaido,
[07:42] Narrator
    was introduced in order to promote the
    consumption of Yezo deer meat to the masses.
[07:47] Koshitan
    That's very specific to Hokkaido!
[07:49] Koshitan
    Don't try to apply local rules to Hino!
[07:52] Koshitan
    No wonder I've never heard of it!
[07:54] Koshitan
    Wait a minute. Does that mean that Matagi
    came here to capture you, Shikanoko?
[08:00] Nokotan
    That's right. And he's super persistent, too.
[08:05] Koshitan
    You actually know the guy?!
[08:06] Nokotan
    If he catches me, it'll all be over!
[08:08] Nokotan
    A gibier festival will be held
    in front of Hino Station,
[08:12] Nokotan
    and the citizens of Hino will
    make a delicious meal of me!
[08:16] Nokotan
    Gibier! Gibier!
[08:18] Koshitan
    Spare a thought for the Hino citizens
    who just wanted to use the train.
[08:23] Nokotan
    Anyway, I gotta spend today
    running away from him!
[08:26] Koshitan
    Huh? Wait, where are you going?! Hello?
SIGN    RUNNING BEGINS
[08:30] Narrator
    And the running begins.
[08:47] Kumatori
    I smell its scent nearby.
[08:50] Nokotan
    Gulp.
[08:58] Kumatori
    There's no use in hiding!
[09:09] Kumatori
    Tch. I mistook my prey for another.
[09:15] Neko
    Huh? What the?!
SIGN    Clueless Yet Again
    Nekoyamada Neko-san (3rd-Year)
[09:23] Kumatori
    I've found you!
[09:48] Kumatori
    Must be this way.
[09:50] Gyaru B
    Whoa, what the heck?
[09:53] Gyaru B
    There's some weird old dude over there.
[09:56] Gyaru A
    For real. Hilarious.
SIGN    UNEXPECTED VISITORS
[09:59] Narrator
    The irregularly occurring gyaru!
[10:01] Gyaru B
    Hey, mister. Whatcha doin'?
[10:04] Gyaru A
    Like, what are you doing? Cosplay?
[10:06] Kumatori
    No... Er, I, uh...
[10:08] Gyaru B
    OMG, did you hear him?
    He legit talks like a grandpa!
[10:13] Gyaru A
    Take a picture with us!
    Let's put it up on Insta!
[10:16] Kumatori
    "Insta"?
[10:17] Kumatori
    Er... I don't know what you're talking about.
[10:19] Gyaru B
    C'mon!
[10:23] Gyaru A
    Okay, look at my phone!
[10:27] Gyaru A
    He's chasing you, isn't he?
[10:28] Gyaru A
    This is your chance to run!
[10:30] Nokotan
    Gyaru!
[10:32] Narrator
    Thus we prove the existence
    of deer-friendly gyaru.
[10:35] Narrator
    Q.E.D.
SIGN    RUN
[10:37] Narrator
    Run.
SIGN    RUN
[10:40] Narrator
    Run!
[10:42] Narrator
    Run!
SIGN    RUN
[10:45] Narrator
    Nokotan's epic escape continued.
SIGN    THE PURSUER
[10:49] Narrator
    The pursuer...
SIGN    THE PURSUED
[11:04] Narrator
    and the pursued.
SIGN    Principal's Office
SIGN    Every Miller Draws Water to His Own Mill
SIGN    Every Miller Draws Water to His Own Mill
[12:04] Narrator
    The fierce battle continued
    even after midnight.
[12:09] Narrator
    "But the Day of the Deer
    is over now, isn't it?"
[12:12] Narrator
    No basic jokes like that here.
[12:29] Nokotan
    Take that.
[12:32] Nokotan
    Steppy, steppy, steppy, step.
[12:43] Narrator
    This was a battle with everything on the line.
[13:09] Kumatori
    Seems I've finally tracked you down, Noko-san.
SIGN    NOKOTAN'S IN DIRE STRAITS
[13:15] Narrator
    Nokotan's in dire straits!
[13:19] Koshitan
    Shikanoko!
[13:20] Koshitan
    You guys are still at it?!
[13:22] Nokotan
    Koshitan!
[13:24] Nokotan
    Witness how our battle ends!
[13:27] Koshitan
    Huh?
[13:28] Nokotan
    I...
[13:31] Nokotan
    I will never fall to you!
    Bring it, Kumatori Soichiro!
[13:47] Koshitan
    The hell is that weapon?!
    It looks super inconvenient to use!
[13:52] Koshitan
    And what is this mystery dimension?!
[13:53] Kumatori
    Oho... At least you're a lively one.
[13:57] Kumatori
    But you won't be talking like that for long...
[14:02] Kumatori
    Shikanoko Noko!
SIGN    This is my rifle.
SIGN    There are many like it, but this one is mine.
SIGN    My rifle is my best friend. It is my life.
SIGN    I must master it as
SIGN    I must master my life.
SIGN    My rifle
SIGN    and myself are the defenders of my country.
SIGN    We are the masters of our enemy.
SIGN    We are the saviors of my life.
[14:52] Kumatori
    Your life is mine!
[14:54] Koshitan
    Shikanoko!
[14:59] Kumatori
    Oh, time out for a sec.
[15:04] Kumatori
    H-Hello—
[15:05] Wife
    Hey! Where the hell are you?!
[15:08] Wife
    Hurry up and buy the daikon radish
    I asked for and head home!
[15:10] Kumatori
    Darlin', I'm sorry—
[15:12] Wife
    Where are you right now?!
[15:13] Kumatori
    I'm in Hino right now...
[15:15] Wife
    Where the hell's Hino?! In Douou?!
[15:17] Kumatori
    No, uh... Tokyo.
[15:21] Wife
    What?! There ain't no Hino in the 23 wards!
[15:25] Kumatori
    There's a place called
    the Tama region in Tokyo.
[15:28] Kumatori
    I'll buy some Nerima daikon and head home.
[15:31] Wife
    How many hours do you think it'll take you
    to get from Nerima to Nemuro, huh?!
[15:36] Koshitan
    Did... Did he go home?
[15:39] Nokotan
    This is what friendship, effort,
    and victory look like!
SIGN    Friendship
SIGN    Effort
SIGN    Victory
[15:43] Koshitan
    Yeah, I don't think you'll be
    standing shoulder-to-shoulder
[15:45] Koshitan
    with a Jump protag anytime soon.
[15:47] Nokotan
    All right! I'm gonna win the next
    Day of the Deer, too!
[15:51] Koshitan
    He's gonna be coming by every month?!
[15:53] Narrator
    The thought of every fourth Tuesday awaiting
    her plunged Koshitan into a deep despair.
[15:59] Cop A
    What's that on your shoulder?
[16:00] Kumatori
    Huh? Oh!
[16:02] Kumatori
    I-I'm sort of in a hurry...
[16:05] Cop A
    You'll be coming to the station with us.
[16:06] Cop B
    Hey, this is a real gun!
[16:09] Cop A
    What?!
SIGN    When carrying or transporting a firearm,
    
    
    
    said firearm must be placed in a container.
SIGN    (Excerpt from the Firearm and Sword Possession Control Law)
[16:10] Narrator
    When carrying or transporting a firearm,
    said firearm must be placed in a container.
[16:22] Narrator
    Something tells me we won't be
    seeing him next Day of the Deer.
SIGN    Hokkaido
    Nemuro Strait
    Ice Floe
SIGN    Deer
    Crackers
[16:49] Narrator
    One hour ago.
SIGN    One Hour Ago
[16:51] Nokotan
    Let's do our best in the
    Deer Club again today!
[16:53] Koshitan
    Why are you wearing a tracksuit?
[16:55] Nokotan
    Oh, I just sent my uniform to the cleaners.
[17:03] Koshitan
    It's all ripped.
[17:06] Koshitan
    Look, over there, too.
SIGN    Deer
    Crackers
[17:08] Koshitan
    And there.
[17:10] Koshitan
    And the knees!
[17:12] Nokotan
    They sure get tattered quickly
    when you go walking.
[17:15] Koshitan
    Walking? Or hiking on game trails?!
SIGN    Deer
    Crackers
[17:25] Nokotan
    It may be spring, but it's still chilly.
[17:27] Koshitan
    Sometimes, reality just hits you.
[17:32] Koshitan
    Fine. Let's go buy you a new tracksuit.
[17:35] Nokotan
    Yay! Shopping!
[17:40] Koshitan
    Is it really so exciting?
[17:45] Nokotan
    Koshitan!
[17:47] Koshitan
    Yeah!
[17:49] Koshitan
    By the way...
[17:51] Koshitan
    Where are we?
[17:52] Nokotan
    Hino!
[17:54] Koshitan
    I know that much, you dumbass!
[17:57] Koshitan
    We were supposed to go straight to the store,
[17:59] Koshitan
    but we got lost because
    you kept making stops!
[18:02] Nokotan
    But... But I kept seeing really
    cool sticks to pick up...
[18:09] Koshitan
    What are you, a grade schooler?!
[18:11] Koshitan
    Oh, damn it!
[18:12] Koshitan
    I've done this for 11 episodes, and I still
    don't know a damn thing about Hino!
[18:16] Koshitan
    Okay. If we go down that hill,
    we'll be in the shopping district.
[18:20] Koshitan
    Come on, let's go.
[18:21] Koshitan
    Er, huh?
[18:24] Koshitan
    Shikanoko?
[18:25] Koshitan
    Where'd you...
[18:29] Koshitan
    What are you doing?
[18:32] Nokotan
    Plastic bottles.
[18:33] Koshitan
    Huh?
[18:34] Nokotan
    Plastic bottles.
[18:37] Koshitan
    Ah, right. You're scared of them.
[18:39] Koshitan
    I guess that was a plot point somewhere.
[18:47] Koshitan
    Um... Shikanoko?
[18:50] Koshitan
    There's some behind you, too.
[18:57] Narrator
    This is still Nokotan.
SIGN    NB: Nokotan
[19:01] Koshitan
    Just how scared are you?
[19:19] Koshitan
    C-Come on. Stand up already.
[19:22] Koshitan
    We don't really have a choice,
    so we're taking another way.
[19:24] Koshitan
    I-I'm the president, remember?
[19:26] Koshitan
    It's the president's job to take
    care of the deer, or something.
[19:30] Koshitan
    Damn it, you sure are a handful, though.
[19:42] Koshitan
    Damn it... Whenever I'm with her...
[19:46] Koshitan
    I always...
[19:48] Koshitan
    always...
[19:51] Koshitan
    get thrown off balance.
[19:54] Nokotan
    Is something wrong?
[19:56] Koshitan
    No, it's nothing!
[19:58] Nokotan
    Ah, Koshitan!
[20:08] Koshitan
    We're back where we started.
[20:10] Nokotan
    Hino is just cursed!
[20:13] Nokotan
    There are plastic bottles around every corner!
[20:18] Koshitan
    How did you even survive this long?
[20:30] Nokotan
    Ooh!
[20:33] Koshitan
    That should take care of things for now.
[20:35] Koshitan
    Well, wearing a tracksuit won't
    be against the rules, at least.
[20:38] Bashame
    That's a surprising skill.
[20:41] Anko
    A former delinquent who's good at sewing...
[20:43] Anko
    It's more common than you'd think,
    but that's why it's good!
[20:46] Koshitan
    You want me to literally zip your mouth shut?
[20:49] Nokotan
    Thanks, Koshitan! I'll treasure it!
[20:52] Koshitan
    Sure. I-If it gets ripped again,
    I'll sew it up for you.
[20:55] Nokotan
    Yay!
SIGN    Rip
[20:59] Nokotan
    My butt just ripped.
[21:03] Koshitan
    Come here already.
[21:04] Nokotan
    Okay!
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
[21:06] Koshitan
    She's a pain in the ass...
    but this isn't so bad.
[21:10] Koshitan
    I hope these days continue forever.
[22:47] Girl student A
    Koshi-san, good morning.
[22:49] Koshitan
    Good morning.
[23:01] Ukai
    This part and this part will be on the test!
[23:04] Ukai
    And this part might not be.
[23:14] Kohitan
    Heya.
[23:15] Anko
    You're late, Onee-chan.
[23:17] Bashame
    Koshitan-senpai, you're late.
[23:20] Koshitan
    Well, Shikanoko's been missing all morning.
[23:23] Koshitan
    Have you guys seen her?
[23:26] Anko
    Onee-chan?
[23:28] Bashame
    Who's Shikanoko?
[23:32] Koshitan
    Huh?

E12 - Farewell Nokotan!? Long Live the Deer Club!
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    This is a work of fiction. The names of the people, places, and organizations
    are fictitious and in no way related to any real person or entity.
[00:10] Kumatori
    Impossible...
[00:12] Kumatori
    Why?
[00:16] Kumatori
    So that's how it is.
[00:18] Kumatori
    Deer's Den is on the move... Shikanoko Noko!
[00:23] Narrator
    The hunch that the legendary Matagi hunter
    Kumatori Soichiro had was correct.
SIGN    Hokkaido
SIGN    Nara Prefecture
SIGN    Nagasaki Prefecture
[00:27] Narrator
    Unbeknownst to all, the wrath of the deer
    was concentrating upon Hino City.
SIGN    Hino City
[00:33] Narrator
    And now, a huge deer storm
    is about to wreak havoc!
SIGN    Farewell Nokotan!?
    Long Live the Deer Club!
[02:13] Nokotan
    S-Say what now?!
[02:16] Nokotan
    This is bad, Koshitan!
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    4/10/2024 3:45 PM
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN    Dear Nokotan-sama,
SIGN    Thank you for everything last week.
    This is Kumatori.
    It is a chilly day here in Hokkaido.
SIGN    The other day at Daisetsuzan,
    I happened to run into an assassin
    who is probably after you. It appears
    as though Deer's Den is sending
    assassins from all over Japan
    to eradicate you.
SIGN    I pray that you are safe
    from the bottom of my heart.
SIGN    Sincerely, Kumatori Soichiro
[02:18] Nokotan
    Kumatori-san just sent me a DM saying that
     Deer's Den assassins are coming to Hino City!
[02:22] Koshitan
    Hang on a damn minute!
[02:24] Koshitan
    I have several questions!
[02:26] (Flashback) Anko
    Onee-chan?
[02:29] (Flashback) Bashame
    Who's Shikanoko?
[02:33] (Flashback) Koshitan
    Huh?
[02:34] Koshitan
    What happened to that serious-looking stinger
    that was supposed to lead into the finale?
[02:39] Nokotan
    That doesn't matter right now!
[02:41] Koshitan
    It doesn't matter?!
[02:43] Narrator
    It really doesn't.
[02:44] Anko
    Deer's Den, huh...
[02:46] Koshitan
    You've heard of them, Anko?
[02:49] Anko
    You're familiar with the local mascots
    created to promote various cities?
[02:52] Anko
    Well, there's a secret organization that
    specializes in training the deer-type ones:
[02:57] Anko
    Deer's Den.
[02:59] Koshitan
    What's with this secret
    organization outta nowhere?!
[03:02] Narrator
    Just Anime Finale Things.
[03:04] Nokotan
    You see, that's where I'm from.
[03:07] Nokotan
    But the training became a real pain in the—
    I mean, I had important reasons for leaving.
[03:12] Koshitan
    Why are you adding more random plot points?
[03:15] Narrator
    This, too, is Just Anime Finale Things.
[03:17] Nokotan
    They've been able to determine my
    location by watching the anime as it airs.
[03:20] Nokotan
    And now, they're dispatching assassins
    to bring me back as a traitor!
[03:25] Nokotan
    Right... So you're saying a bunch
    of local mascots are after you?
[03:29] Nokotan
    Come on, now. They're not going to arrange
    celebrity appearances for an anime like—
[03:35] Koshitan
    There's one right in front of us!
[03:39] Anko
    You're Kyun-chan.
SIGN    Hokkaido Map
[03:41] Anko
    Kyun-chan grew up in the Daisetsuzan
    National Park in Hokkaido.
[03:44] Anko
    Timid but curious,
[03:47] Anko
    they came down from the mountain
    to learn about various things
[03:49] Anko
    and ended up becoming a local mascot
    to promote the attractions of Hokkaido.
[03:55] Anko
    I can't believe we get to meet them in Hino.
[03:57] Koshitan
    No, really. How do you know all these things?
[04:00] Bashame
    Speaking of Hokkaido, they produce
    some of the best rice in Japan—
[04:04] Koshitan
    You can shut up.
[04:05] Nokotan
    Kyun-chan. I'm not going back to Deer's Den.
[04:09] Nokotan
    I have a new life now as
    Shikanoko Noko of the Deer Club!
[04:13] Nokotan
    Let us battle for the freedom
    of the deer, Kyun-chan!
[04:19] Anko
    They seem happy that you'll play with them.
[04:21] Bashame
    Bashame's gonna go check on her rice field.
SIGN    1st Hinominami High School
    Chitty Chitty Nokotan vs Kyun-chan
    Dance King Competition!!
[04:25] Ukai
    This is the Nokotan versus Kyun-chan
    Dance King Competition!
[04:31] Koshitan
    This is the set from episode 2!
[04:33] Koshitan
    Also, why a dance competition?
SIGN    Producer
    Koshi Anko
[04:35] Koshitan
    And what am I even doing here?!
[04:38] Ukai
    Nokotan and Kyun-chan will dance at the
    same time, and the better dancer will win!
[04:42] Ukai
    Now, if Nokotan loses...
SIGN    Right to Deport
[04:45] Ukai
    She will be forcefully
    deported back to Deer's Den.
[04:47] Ukai
    But if she wins, she gets a
    year's supply of deer crackers!
[04:49] Koshitan
    This again?!
[04:51] Ukai
    And the judge will be...
[04:53] Ukai
    Tsunoda-san!
[04:55] Koshitan
    This is messed up!
[04:57] Narrator
    Her secret already came out at the sports
    festival, so Koshitan's not holding back.
[05:02] Koshitan
    Shikanoko, can you actually win?
[05:04] Nokotan
    Leave it to me! I'm known as the
    legendary dancer of Deer's Den!
[05:09] Nokotan
    I'm excited to find out just how much
    Kyun-chan's polished their antlers.
[05:13] Ukai
    Okay...
[05:15] Ukai
    Start dancing!
SIGN    Choreography: Lucky Ikeda
[05:30] Crowd
    Kyun-chan!
[05:32] Koshitan
    Kyun-chan was so on point.
[05:33] Koshitan
    They're so cute that my heart hurts.
[05:36] Narrator
    As for Kumatori Soichiro...
[05:39] Kumatori
    So cute.
[05:41] Koshitan
    And yet we have...
[05:42] Nokotan
    Not bad, Kyun-chan.
[05:45] Koshitan
    Your skin's so thick, it's legendary.
SIGN    Judge
    Tsunoda-san
[05:48] Ukai
    All right. If our judge could
    begin his deliberations...
[05:52] Ukai
    The winner is Kyun-chan!
SIGN    1st Hinominami High School
    Chitty Chitty Nokotan vs Kyun-chan
    Dance King Competition!!
[05:58] Koshitan
    How could you possibly think you won?
SIGN    Judge
    Tsunoda-san
[06:01] Koshitan
    Also, I guess you actually
    deliberated properly, Tsunoda-san.
[06:04] Nokotan
    Curse you, Tsunoda!
[06:05] Nokotan
    This is the problem with you stupid deer!
[06:07] Koshitan
    You realize you're also a deer, don't you?
[06:10] [SONG] Sign
    Employees of Deer's Den
[06:12] Nokotan
    I don't wanna go back to Deer's Den!
[06:14] Nokotan
    I'm gonna keep being taken care of by
    the Deer Club and live the easy life!
[06:19] Koshitan
    You're the worst, you know that?
[06:21] Koshitan
    But what can we do? You lost fair and square.
[06:24] Ukai
    I don't think we can keep having
    a Deer Club with no actual deer.
[06:28] Ukai
    Oh, you'll need to pay back those club funds.
[06:32] Koshitan
    This ain't over yet!
[06:35] Koshitan
    If you intend on taking her back...
    You'll have to face me, Kyun-chan!
[06:41] Classmate A
    Koshitan... You care that much about Nokotan?
[06:44] Nokotan
    Koshitan... You're doing all this for me?
[06:46] Narrator
    She is not.
[06:48] Ukai
    We have a surprise second round!
[06:50] Ukai
    Our new challenger will be the
    Deer Club president, Koshi Torako!
[06:54] Koshitan
    I guess I've gotta do this!
[06:56] Ukai
    Start dancing!
[07:14] Koshitan
    To think that my DeerColle experience
    would pay off here...
[07:18] Anko
    You're wonderful, Onee-chan!
SIGN    Judge
    Tsunoda-san
[07:20] Ukai
    All right. If our judge could
    begin his deliberations...
SIGN    Draw
[07:24] Ukai
    Wow! We've got a draw!
SIGN    Draw
[07:26] Ukai
    In which case...
SIGN    Judge
    Tsunoda-san
SIGN    Judge
    Nokotan
[07:30] Nokotan
    Your antlers just aren't there yet.
SIGN    Spicy
[07:33] Koshitan
    Want me to pull out them antlers?!
[07:35] Ukai
    Now, now. At least we know that Nokotan's
    not being forcefully deported.
[07:42] Nokotan
    You've gotten stronger, Kyun-chan.
[07:45] Koshitan
    You've completely lost, by the way.
[07:47] Nokotan
    To celebrate your growth... Have this.
[07:50] Anko
    Kyun-chan's a rabbit.
    Can they eat deer crackers?
[07:54] Koshitan
    Huh?
[07:55] Anko
    Specifically, a northern pika, a species
    known for its round ears and eyes.
[08:00] Anko
    They're quiet and timid, so they
    usually wear a Yezo sika hood.
[08:05] Anko
    But they're quite curious, so sometimes,
    they wear other hoods, too.
[08:13] Koshitan
    You're not a deer...
    but you belong to Deer's Den?
[08:16] Nokotan
    Man... I worked up a good sweat.
[08:19] Koshitan
    What actually makes a deer?
[08:21] Chikamaru
    Nokotan!
[08:23] Hana-chan
    Play with us next, hana!
[08:25] Koshitan
    Wait, now there's more?!
[08:28] Nokotan
    The next assassins already showed up...
[08:29] Anko
    Chikamaru-kun and Hana-chan.
[08:33] Anko
    They're local mascots from
    Ojika Town in Nagasaki Prefecture,
[08:35] Anko
    a boy and a girl who work hard
    to make as many smiles as they can
[08:38] Anko
    bloom like flowers on the island of Ojika
    to bring people closer to Ojika Town.
[08:45] Chikamaru
    Hello, chika!
[08:46] Koshitan
    Oh, hi. You're so polite...
[08:49] Anko
    By the way, these are kids
[08:51] Anko
    who are wearing costumes inspired
    by sika deer from Kyushu.
[08:55] Koshitan
    Again, they're not even deer?!
[08:56] Ukai
    Now that we have some new assassins,
    we'll be doing a 2v2 duo competition!
[09:01] Ukai
    They'll be playing a mind-reading game!
SIGN    1st Hinominami High School
    Chitty Chitty Nokotan vs Kyun-chan
    Dance King Competition!!
[09:05] Ukai
    Without saying anything, you'll have
    to guess what your partner is thinking
[09:08] Ukai
    to show just how strong
    your love for each other is!
[09:11] Nokotan
    Let's do our best, Koshitan!
[09:13] Nokotan
    Let's show everyone just
    how strong our bond is!
[09:16] Koshitan
    At this rate, bring anything on!
[09:18] Ukai
    Okay, please guess what
    the other is thinking.
[09:23] Ukai
    Ready... Go!
[09:25] Chikamaru
    Ojika Town is made up of a
    number of big and little islands
[09:28] Chikamaru
    that are in the ocean west of Kyushu, chika.
SIGN    Ojika Town
[09:31] Chikamaru
    The main industries there are fishing,
    farming, and tourism, chika.
[09:36] Hana-chan
    The ruins on Nozaki Island have been
    chosen as a World Heritage Site
[09:40] Hana-chan
    and there's plenty to see there
    since it's so full of nature, hana.
[09:43] Chikamaru
    That's what she's thinking, chika.
[09:43] Hana-chan
    That's what he's thinking, hana.
[09:46] Ukai
    Correct!
[09:47] Koshitan
    Uh, that was just their standard tourism spiel?
[09:50] Koshitan
    Also, this is clearly just guessing!
[09:52] Ukai
    I don't know anything about that.
[09:54] Nokotan
    They got it perfectly right...
    That's amazing.
[09:58] Nokotan
    Koshitan, we're up next!
[10:01] Koshitan
    R-Right...
[10:04] Ukai
    Ready, go!
[10:12] Ukai
    And now, if you'll answer!
[10:14] Nokotan
    Okay!
[10:15] Nokotan
    I love you, Nokotan.
[10:17] Nokotan
    I spent three months' pay
    to get you these... antlers.
[10:23] Nokotan
    Oh, Koshitan!
[10:26] Chikamaru
    Woo, woo, chika!
[10:27] Anko
    Incorrect.
[10:29] Anko
    The thing Onee-chan is always
    thinking about is me.
[10:34] Nokotan
    No, it's me! Koshitan, answer.
[10:38] Koshitan
    Uh... Yeah, I've got no idea.
[10:41] Nokotan
    That's so mean, Koshitan!
[10:43] Koshitan
    How the hell would I know?! I'm no psychic!
[10:45] Ukai
    Does this mean you don't have
    an answer? Which means...
[10:48] Ukai
    Chikamaru-kun and Hana-chan win!
[10:51] Chikamaru and Hana-chan
    Yay!
[10:53] Nokotan
    Wah! I don't wanna go!
[10:56] Neko
    Did you need our help?
[10:58] Nokotan
    You're Shikayamada Shika!
[11:00] Neko
    It's Nekoyamada Neko!
[11:01] Koshitan
    What are you doing here, Nekoyamada-san?
[11:03] Neko
    As the student council, it's our
    duty to protect the students.
[11:06] Neko
    It's not for you or anything, President.
[11:09] Narrator
    Usually, Neko-chan would be more than
    happy to see the Deer Club disbanded,
[11:12] Narrator
    but since it's the final
    episode of the anime...
[11:15] Narrator
    She's been standing by the whole time.
[11:17] Neko
    You don't need to include that
    in the narration!
[11:19] Chikamaru
    Did you want to play with us, too, chika?
[11:21] Neko
    Yes! You can count on me. This game
    is perfect for the student council.
[11:26] Neko
    We can understand each other
    without saying a word.
[11:30] Tsubame
    Okay, Kinu. Pair up with me.
[11:32] Tsubame
    I won't let them take Nokotan-senpai.
[11:35] Tanuki
    I-I-I need to throw my life away for Chiharu,
    since she paired up with me!
[11:42] Koshitan
    I get it.
[11:43] Neko
    Please don't!
[11:44] Ukai
    Okay, now that we have our new
    competitors, let's start round 2!
[11:52] Chikamaru
    Oh, it's already time, chika.
[11:54] Chikamaru
    Today's the birthday of Uemura Reo-kun,
    who lives in Ojika Town, chika!
[11:58] Hana-chan
    We're heading back to celebrate, hana.
[12:00] Koshitan
    Huh?
[12:01] Anko
    Oh, that's right.
[12:03] Anko
    Whenever a child has a birthday in Ojika Town,
[12:05] Anko
    Chikamaru-kun and Hana-chan
    come to celebrate.
[12:08] Chikamaru
    Bye-bye, chika!
[12:08] Hana-chan
    Bye-bye, hana!
[12:10] Nokotan
    We won... Everyone!
[12:13] Koshitan
    No, you keep losing.
[12:15] Bashame
    That was a rough battle.
[12:17] Koshitan
    You really haven't done anything.
[12:20] Bashame
    Oh, here.
[12:21] Bashame
    It's from some really pale old guy.
[12:29] Nokotan
    Wait... Does that mean he's coming?
[12:32] Koshitan
    Seriously, another one?
[12:34] Anko
    Who is it this time?
[12:37] Nokotan
    During the next break, Deer's Den's
    finest assassin will come to Hino...
[12:44] Nokotan
    It's Sento-kun!
[12:50] All
    Wh-What?!
[12:53] Narrator
    The ultimate battle for the
    Deer Club is about to begin!
SIGN    Kagoshima
    Kirishima
    Mount Karakuni
SIGN    Kagoshima
    Kirishima Miyama Kirishima
    Shikagahara
SIGN    Deer Club
    Seeking New Club Members
[13:05] Koshitan
    "Dear Nokotan.
[13:06] Koshitan
    I'll be dropping in on you next break.
[13:09] Koshitan
    Catch me at the Hino Municipal Gym.
[13:12] Koshitan
    From Sento."
[13:13] Koshitan
    This is undoubtedly a challenge letter.
[13:15] Bashame
    Maybe he's just literally dropping by?
[13:20] Nokotan
    I-I-I'll easily take on any challenge!
[13:23] Koshitan
    Calm down! And you've
    lost every match so far!
[13:26] Nokotan
    Bring it on!
[13:28] Koshitan
    What even are those punches?
[13:31] Koshitan
    We're training! We're training right now!
[13:34] Koshitan
    Let's go!
[13:37] Anko
    Welp... Looks like my sister's
    shonen manga button has been pushed.
SIGN    "Wild Deer"
SIGN    Lyrics, Vocals, Composition by Koshi Torako
SIGN    Your flesh, all flabby from club
SIGN    Your flesh, all flabby from club
SIGN    Your will, all rusted from club
SIGN    Your will, all rusted from club
SIGN    You've been domesticated
SIGN    You've been domesticated
SIGN    As a pet
SIGN    As a pet
SIGN    We're going to blow away that unserious body
SIGN    We're going to blow away that unserious body
SIGN    A great enemy has challenged you
SIGN    A great enemy has challenged you
SIGN    So we're gonna shake any fear out of you
SIGN    So we're gonna shake any fear out of you
SIGN    Deer Crackers
SIGN    It'll probably be rough sometimes
SIGN    It'll probably be rough sometimes
SIGN    I'm sure you'll want to cry sometimes
SIGN    I'm sure you'll want to cry sometimes
SIGN    But...
SIGN    But...
SIGN    You are not alone
SIGN    You are not alone
SIGN    This hellish training
SIGN    This hellish training
SIGN    You'll get through it and take back the spirit that you've lost
SIGN    You'll get through it and take back the spirit that you've lost
SIGN    You are a wild deer
SIGN    You are a wild deer
SIGN    You are a wild deer
SIGN    You are a wild deer
SIGN    You are the best
SIGN    You are the best
SIGN    Vermin in Japan
SIGN    Vermin in Japan
[14:56] Announcer
    The day has finally arrived.
[14:59] Announcer
    The Wild Deer of Hino, Shikanoko Noko,
[15:02] Announcer
    and Nara's official mascot
    character, Sento-kun,
SIGN    Sento-kun vs Shikanoko Noko Battle!
[15:05] Announcer
    will be competing to see who is the
    best deer local mascot character.
[15:08] Announcer
    Our commentator today will be the
    leading expert on Deer's Den research,
[15:11] Announcer
    Miura John-san.
[15:14] Miura
    Hello. I'm Miura.
[15:16] Announcer
    I've heard that Nokotan spent a week
    undergoing rigorous training for this battle.
[15:21] Announcer
    Miura-san, what are your thoughts on that?
[15:23] Miura
    It's been 1,300 years for Sento-kun.
[15:27] Announcer
    Are you saying that since Sento-kun
    is a mascot that was born on
[15:30] Announcer
    the 1300th anniversary of when the capital
    moved to Nara, he packs more of a punch?
[15:33] Miura
    Precisely.
[15:35] Announcer
    It'll be interesting to see
    how this battle plays out.
[15:39] Announcer
    And now, here come our fighters.
[15:41] Announcer
    From Hinominami High
    Class 3-B, Shikanoko Noko!
SIGN    Hinominami
[15:58] Nokotan
    Notsu!
[15:59] Announcer
    And here comes Sento-kun!
[16:04] Crowd
    Sento-kun!
[16:07] Crowd
    Sento-kun!
[16:11] Crowd
    Sento-kun!
SIGN    Hinominami
[16:53] Bashame
    Well, we definitely lost on entrance hype.
[16:56] Anko
    He's one of the most famous
    local mascots, after all.
[16:58] Koshitan
    Sh-Sh-She just needs to win the match!
[17:01] Yoshiharu
    Fighters to the center!
[17:03] Yoshiharu
    Wait, why am I even refereeing this?
[17:05] Narrator
    It's the final episode,
    so it's all hands on deck.
[17:08] Yoshiharu
    Er... Attacking with weapons is forbidden.
[17:11] Yoshiharu
    That is all!
[17:12] Nokotan
    I'll show you the results
    of my training, Sento-kun!
[17:16] Announcer
    All eyes are on this first round!
[17:19] Koshitan
    Go, Shikanoko!
[17:25] Miura
    Ah, I see Sento-kun's adopting the style
    of the Japanese national sport, sumo.
[17:29] Nokotan
    Give me a break!
[17:36] Announcer
    Sento-kun's definitely on the defensive!
[17:39] Koshitan
    That's it! Keep it up, Shikanoko!
[17:42] Nokotan
    I'll go ahead and end it for—
[18:04] Koshitan
    Shikanoko!
[18:06] Anko
    They just got started, Onee-chan.
[18:08] Bashame
    In rice production terms,
    they've just watered the field.
SIGN    Round 1 Over
[18:13] Announcer
    And there's the bell.
[18:15] Announcer
    Sento-kun totally dominated the first round.
[18:18] Miura
    That was brilliant.
[18:21] Koshitan
    You okay, Shikanoko?
[18:23] Koshitan
    You did well, but the
    enemy was just too strong.
[18:28] Nokotan
    Koshitan.
[18:30] Nokotan
    Promise me you won't throw
    in the towel, no matter what.
[18:34] Nokotan
    I'm...
[18:35] Nokotan
    I'm definitely going to win!
[18:38] Nokotan
    Believe in me!
[18:41] Koshitan
    Shikanoko...
[18:46] Announcer
    With that, we begin round 2.
[18:59] Koshitan
    Shikanoko?
[19:02] Nokotan
    Now, let's have a real
    deer fight with no rules!
[19:05] Koshitan
    I was a fool to believe in you!
[19:08] Announcer
    Oh, this is definitely not allowed!
[19:10] Miura
    This high school girl is pretty amazing.
[19:13] Miura
    She completely threw away her deer identity.
[19:17] Nokotan
    All that matters in the end
    is who wins! That's all!
[19:20] Koshitan
    You can lose already! You're going
    to shame the Deer Club by cheating!
[19:23] Miura
    But isn't that the good part?
[19:25] Koshitan
    Huh? It is?
[19:26] Announcer
    Wow, looks like our leading expert
    has accepted the cheating!
SIGN    Round 2 Over
SIGN    Round 3 Over
SIGN    Bribe Failed
SIGN    Round 4 Over
[19:40] Koshitan
    Let's just end this.
[19:41] Koshitan
    You toughed it out to the final round.
[19:44] Koshitan
    I'll at least acknowledge your tenacity.
[19:46] Nokotan
    Koshitan...
[19:47] Nokotan
    The Deer Club will never disband.
[19:50] Koshitan
    You...
[19:52] Nokotan
    I met you, Koshitan, and then
    I met the others, so I... I...
[19:57] Koshitan
    Seeing it all flash before our eyes,
[19:59] Koshitan
    I can't help but wonder if anything good
    came out of meeting you, but...
[20:05] Koshitan
    Go, Shikanoko!
[20:06] Koshitan
    No, Nokotan!
[20:09] Nokotan
    Koshitan!
[20:12] Announcer
    Now for the final round.
[20:15] Nokotan
    Deer Fist Final Technique!
[20:18] Koshitan
    Final technique?
[20:19] Koshitan
    Not the Self-Shattering—
[20:21] Nokotan
    Deer Copter!
[20:23] Koshitan
    What the hell kinda final technique is that?!
[20:26] Koshitan
    She flew?
[20:26] Koshitan
    Wait! Is that how you got stuck in
    the damn power lines in episode 1?
[20:30] Bashame
    Hey! They followed through
    on the foreshadowing!
[20:32] Anko
    They sure are doing whatever they want,
    since it's the last episode.
[20:37] Nokotan
    Even you can't do anything if I'm
    attacking from the sky, Sento-kun!
[20:42] Koshitan
    Antler bombs!
[20:43] Nokotan
    Take this.
[20:44] Yoshiharu
    Wait, what?!
[20:46] Nokotan
    Take that and that.
[20:52] Koshitan
    Hey, stop that, Shikanoko!
[20:54] Koshitan
    You're definitely going too fa—
[20:57] Announcer
    N-No one could've predicted
    this turn of events!
[21:02] Nokotan
    Notsu!
[21:04] Nokotan
    Notsu!
[21:07] Nokotan
    Notsu!
[21:34] Nokotan
    Ow.
[21:37] Announcer
    And the match has ended!
[21:39] Announcer
    The winner is Sento-kun!
[21:44] Koshitan
    You're just so...
[21:47] Koshitan
    Well, I guess you did your best.
[21:49] Nokotan
    Koshitan...
[21:51] Announcer
    All right, it's time to interview the winner.
[21:53] Miura
    Ah, but Sento-kun is a local
    mascot that doesn't talk.
[21:56] Announcer
    Welp, I guess we're
    interviewing the loser instead.
[21:59] Koshitan
    Seriously?
[22:02] Nokotan
    Everyone... When I got here today,
    the only thought on my mind was to win.
[22:08] Nokotan
    All I could think about was
    escaping from Deer's Den.
[22:13] Nokotan
    But as I was fighting Sento-kun,
    I felt a tremendous change in my heart.
[22:19] Nokotan
    I realized that winning
    or losing doesn't matter!
[22:21] Nokotan
    What's important is to give
    one's all during the match!
[22:26] Nokotan
    Which means that Sento-kun
    and I are both winners!
[22:30] Koshitan
    Now hold on a sec!
[22:31] Koshitan
    You've got some nerve
    after all the cheating—
[22:35] Miura
    I'm so moved! You're both winners!
[22:37] Koshitan
    Miura-san, you're not right in the head!
[22:41] Koshitan
    And Sento-kun, you're way too accepting!
[22:50] Tsunoda
    Notsu!
[22:52] Koshitan
    What?! Why are you all
    so moved by that speech?!
[22:56] Anko
    Well, whatever. Now the Deer Club
    doesn't have to be disbanded.
[23:00] Bashame
    Bashame is glad that she
    can continue making her rice.
[23:03] Nokotan
    Koshitan!
[23:05] Nokotan
    I won, just like I promised!
[23:07] Koshitan
    Oh, whatever already.
[23:09] Nokotan
    I hope you'll keep taking care of me.
[23:12] Koshitan
    W-Well, I guess I gotta, right?
[23:19] Crowd
    Nokotan! Koshitan! Nokotan! Koshitan!