E9 - The Way of Desire

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Mr. Villain's Day Off
[01:30] Mr. Villain
    Lately I've been seeing a stray cat
    around my usual convenience store.
SIGN    You'll find convenient ready-made food at the checkout counter!
SIGN    impatient
SIGN    impatient
[01:53] Mr. Villain
    Kitty...
[02:04] Black
    Hello.
[02:07] Mr. Villain
    Hello.
[02:30] Mr. Villain
    The kitty is as adorable as ever today.
[02:33] Mr. Villain
    I can't take my eyes off that tail,
    with its mind of its own.
[02:37] Mr. Villain
    You look so smooth and soft.
[02:41] Mr. Villain
    If I had my way, I would so pet you.
[02:54] Black
    What, are you still hungry?
[02:57] Black
    Sorry, but that's all I have on me today.
[03:01] Black
    I'll bring more next time.
[03:04] Mr. Villain
    Th-This guy makes it look so easy!
[03:09] Mr. Villain
    And here I've never gotten
    to pet it even once!
[03:14] Mr. Villain
    What entices it so?!
[03:18] Black
    All righty.
[03:20] Black
    It's time for me to get going.
[03:27] Mr. Villain
    Wait...
[03:33] Black
    Take this, if you'd like.
[03:36] Mr. Villain
    What is that?
[03:39] Black
    The cat loves this stuff.
[03:43] Mr. Villain
    Winning it over with its favorite foods?
[03:46] Mr. Villain
    That's sneaky, Earthling!
[03:50] Mr. Villain
    But you said you didn't
    have anything else today.
[03:54] Black
    Oh, yeah.
[03:55] Black
    I completely forgot I had that in my pocket.
[04:11] Mr. Villain
    Let's see if what you say is true, Earthling!
[04:19] Mr. Villain
    How about some dessert, kitty?
[04:27] Mugi
    Welcome home, Black.
[04:31] Sora
    Good morning, Black.
[04:34] Black
    Mugi.
[04:35] Black
    Sora.
[04:37] Black
    Thanks, and good morning.
[04:40] Black
    What are you two doing up?
[04:42] Mugi
    We have to get up this early these days,
     or else we'll never see you.
[04:46] Sora
    You're always asleep when we're awake.
[04:50] Black
    Sorry about that.
[04:52] Mugi
    Since we haven't seen you in so long,
    we wouldn't mind if you carried us.
[05:02] Black
    You two have gotten heavy.
[05:05] Black
    Ouch.
[05:07] Black
    Where'd that kick come from?
[05:09] Sora
    Straight from Pink.
[05:10] Black
    Sounds about right.
SIGN    Schedule
[05:28] Black
    I couldn't resist that cat.
    It reminded me of these two.
[05:41] Black
    But he does seem to frequent that store,
    just like the reports say.
[05:46] Black
    He was an odd one.
[05:48] Black
    I guess he likes cats?
[05:56] Mr. Villain
    How can this be?
[06:01] Mr. Villain
    Kitty's going to town on this thing
    like nothing I've ever seen!
[06:07] Mr. Villain
    I'm so grateful, Earthling!
SIGN    Mr. Villain's Day Off
SIGN    Mr. Villain's Day Off
SIGN    Fortune
[06:19] Red
    Nice guy from the Evil League!
[06:21] Red
    You can forget about a truce today!
[06:27] Red
    Devils out!
[06:30] Red
    Devils out!
[06:33] Red
    Devils out!
[06:41] Red
    Devils out!
[06:48] Red
    Devils out!
[07:02] Red
    Yes!
[07:04] Red
    Finally!
[07:10] Mr. Villain
    I'm impressed, Ranger.
[07:13] Mr. Villain
    You won, so I'll give you this.
[07:19] Red
    Th-That's...!
[07:24] Red
    Wow...
[07:25] Red
    With this, I'll know where I'm going...
[07:30] Red
    I won't get lost anymore...
[07:34] Blue
    Hold on, Red. Are you sure
    that's the right way?
[07:38] Blue
    Can't be too sure. You're always—
[07:40] Mugi
    It's a superstition, Blue, but you shouldn't
    respond to a person talking in their sleep.
[07:44] Sora
    Poor Red. It bothers him so much,
     he even dreams about it.
[07:49] Pink
    Why not just wake him up instead?
[07:55] Sora
    Oh, he's awake.
[08:00] Pink
    Are you sure about that?
[08:03] Red
    I think now's my chance to stop getting lost!
[08:06] Red
    I'm going on patr—
[08:07] Blue
    Don't!
SIGN    Unohara Shopping District
SIGN    Setsubun event now underway
SIGN    Meanwhile
SIGN    Ehomaki
    for sale
SIGN    M
    O
    C
    H
    I
    
    S
    A
    M
    P
    L
    E
    S
SIGN    Get your devil masks here
SIGN    Mochi Pounding
    Trial Session
SIGN    Mochi
    Pounding
    Trial
    Session
SIGN    Mochi
    Pounding
    Trial
    Session
SIGN    Mochi Pounding Trial Session
SIGN    Mochi
    Samples
SIGN    Beans
[08:27] Mr. Villain
    Beans have the power to drive devils away?
[08:31] Mr. Villain
    I should analyze their composition.
[08:35] old lady A
    How about some mochi, mister?
[08:39] Mr. Villain
    Mochi?
[08:40] old lady B
    It's hot, so be careful with it.
[08:48] Mr. Villain
    I've seen this before.
[08:50] Mr. Villain
    So you cook it and eat it?
[08:54] Mr. Villain
    Here goes.
SIGN    stretch
SIGN    stretch
[08:59] Mr. Villain
    What is this?
SIGN    stretch
[09:03] Mr. Villain
    Could it be... some soft biological
    weapon masquerading as food?!
[09:09] old lady A
    Oh, my.
[09:11] old lady B
    Look at that stretch!
[09:13] Mr. Villain
    It's so stretchy, I can't bite it off!
[09:17] Mr. Villain
    Accursed Earthlings!
SIGN    Sasamoto Butcher Shop
[09:27] Mr. Villain
    It's... delicious?!
[09:33] old lady A
    And here's mochi with roasted soybean flour.
SIGN    stretch
[09:47] Mr. Villain
    This is good, too!
[09:49] old lady B
    And with red bean paste.
[09:59] Mr. Villain
    I can't believe how good this is!
[10:02] old lady A
    There are plenty of other kinds, too.
[10:05] Mr. Villain
    There's still more?
[10:07] old lady B
    You can top it with grated daikon,
    natto, or green soybean paste.
[10:14] Mr. Villain
    I'll try them all.
[10:29] Mr. Villain
    I ate too much.
SIGN    Mr. Villain's Day Off
SIGN    Mr. Villain's Day Off
[10:55] Mr. Villain
    Think I'll take a break.
[10:58] Mr. Villain
    And I have an ice cream treat
    waiting for just this occasion.
SIGN    Strawberry
[11:04] Mr. Villain
    But before I get to that...
SIGN    impatient
SIGN    impatient
SIGN    impatient
SIGN    impatient
SIGN    impatient
SIGN    impatient
SIGN    impatient
SIGN    impatient
SIGN    impatient
[11:53] Mr. Villain
    Your time has come, ice cream!
[12:06] Mr. Villain
    What's this?
[12:09] Mr. Villain
    Something urgent?
[12:12] Mr. Villain
    I'll take care of it in a flash.
[12:14] Mr. Villain
    Just you wait, ice cream.
[12:23] Mr. Villain
    That takes care of that—
[12:27] Mr. Villain
    What is it now?
[12:34] Mr. Villain
    Something urgent again?!
[12:49] Mr. Villain
    What's next?!
[12:58] Mr. Villain
    Things have settled down.
[13:02] Mr. Villain
    The ice cream!
[13:05] Mr. Villain
    H-Have you melted, ice cream?
[13:10] Mr. Villain
    You were supposed to be my treat today...
[13:19] Mr. Villain
    But because those messages 
    came in right then, of all times...!
[13:35] Mr. Villain
    And the worst part is...
    I could have just put it back in the freezer!
[13:42] Mr. Villain
    Now what do I do?!
[13:52] Mr. Villain
    The edges are all melty,
    but the rest is still solid?
[14:06] Mr. Villain
    It's great.
[14:08] Mr. Villain
    What the heck?
SIGN    The ideal time to eat it
[14:35] Mr. Villain
    I ate dinner on the early side, so now I'm
    hungry again before the day is through.
[14:42] Mr. Villain
    I could go to bed, but I'm not tired yet.
[14:45] Mr. Villain
    And it's too late to eat anything else.
[14:50] Mr. Villain
    Except these instant noodles
    are staring me in the face.
SIGN    Panda Ramen
[14:55] Mr. Villain
    To eat or not to eat...?
SIGN    Panda Ramen
SIGN    Ramen
SIGN    Rich
SIGN    Panda Ramen
[15:12] angel panda
    You had dinner, and it's not good
    to eat instant noodles at this hour.
[15:19] devil panda
    Nah, you can't help it when you're hungry.
[15:22] devil panda
    You'll never get to sleep like this.
[15:25] devil panda
    Go on, dig in!
[15:27] angel panda
    If you insist on eating,
    how about that gelatin in the fridge?
[15:32] devil panda
    That ain't gonna fill 'im up!
[15:35] devil panda
    Right now, his belly wants
     to be full of noodles!
[15:39] devil panda
    And besides...
[15:41] devil panda
    Instant noodles at this hour...
[15:44] devil panda
    are the tastiest thing in the universe!
SIGN    Growl
SIGN    Grrowl
SIGN    Grrrrrowl
SIGN    Grrrrrrrrrrowl
SIGN    Grrrrrrrrrrrrowl
SIGN    Grrrrrrrrrrrrrowl
[16:02] Mr. Villain
    My will is still too weak
    to wipe out humanity.
[16:29] Mr. Villain
    Good stuff.
[16:42] Mr. Villain
    It's past 11:00 already?
[16:46] Mr. Villain
    I need to shower.
[16:55] Mr. Villain
    Too much effort.
[16:58] Mr. Villain
    I spent all day today working from home.
[17:03] Mr. Villain
    Can't I skip showering for one night?
[17:07] Mr. Villain
    That settles that.
    Now, to organize my panda photos...
[17:27] panda plushy
    Aren't you going to shower?
[17:31] panda plushy
    Hey, aren't you going to shower?
[17:39] Mr. Villain
    I'll go shower.
[17:53] Mr. Villain
    Now that I'm all warmed up, I feel sleepy.
[18:01] Mr. Villain
    Drying my hair, brushing my teeth...
[18:04] Mr. Villain
    All too much effort.
[18:07] Mr. Villain
    I can get away with
    skipping them just this once.
[18:14] Mr. Villain
    I'm gonna pass out on the—
SIGN    Shik Shik Shik
SIGN    Shik Shik Shik
SIGN    Shik
SIGN    Shik
SIGN    Shik
SIGN    Shik
SIGN    Shik
SIGN    Shik
SIGN    Shik
SIGN    Shik
SIGN    Shik
SIGN    Shik
SIGN    Shik
[18:52] Mr. Villain
    Wait a minute.
[18:55] Mr. Villain
    I remember last week...
SIGN    Shrimp au Gratin
SIGN    Panda's Table
SIGN    Panda's Table
SIGN    made with Hokkaido raw milk
[19:02] Mr Villain
    After working for days on end, it's more
    than I can do to come home and cook dinner.
[19:08] Mr Villain
    So today, I've decided to fix
    something quick and tasty.
[19:16] (Flashback) Mr Villain
    I've been waiting for this day, gratin!
[19:38] Mr Villain
    An enemy attack?
[19:41] Mr Villain
    The hair dryer and microwave
    have both stopped running.
[19:46] Mr Villain
    Someone's behind this.
[19:50] Mr Villain
    But I don't sense anyone inside.
[19:54] Mr Villain
    Which means...
[19:57] Mr Villain
    They're outside!
[20:02] (Flashback) Mr Villain
    I'll kick your ass!
SIGN    Silence...
SIGN    Silence
SIGN    Silence...
[20:25] (Flashback) Mr. Villain
    Hey, where are you?
[20:28] (Flashback) Mr. Villain
    Give up now, and I'll let you go.
[20:45] Mr. Villain
    That was a rather clever trap, humans.
SIGN    Lights won't turn on
SIGN    This week's weather
SIGN    Latest news
[20:57] Mr. Villain
    If I use it now,
    will it trip the breaker again?
[21:08] Mr. Villain
    That should be enough.
[21:25] Mr. Villain
    Another complete day, thanks to the panda.
SIGN    MR. VILLAIN'S DAY OFF
SIGN    Mr. Villain's Day Off
[23:21] Mr. Villain
    Truth is the way of heaven,
[23:25] Mr. Villain
    not the way of man.
[23:28] Mr. Villain
    Children who wander this sad world.
[23:32] Mr. Villain
    A melancholy photograph.
[23:36] Mr. Villain
    Bitter and sweet.
[23:39] Mr. Villain
    The allure of chocolate.
[23:42] Mr. Villain
    Until good and evil have had their day.
[23:46] Mr. Villain
    Matters of justice.
SIGN    Matters of Justice