E1 - We Need Comfort Too

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Mr. Villain's Day Off
SIGN    Park Ticket Gate
[01:52] Mr. Villain
    I'm a high-ranking officer of the Evil League,
    which fights daily to wipe out humankind
[02:01] Mr. Villain
    and claim the Earth in the
    name of our home planet.
[02:10] Mr. Villain
    However...
[02:12] Mr. Villain
    Today is my day off.
SIGN    Tickets
SIGN    Panda Enclosure
[02:16] employee
    The line to view the pandas starts here!
[02:20] Mr. Villain
    I begin my days off with a delicious meal
    and a feast for the eyes.
[02:29] Mr. Villain
    Cuddly things are excellent for this purpose.
[02:37] child A
    Mister, aren't you overdoing it?
[02:39] child B
    That's a lot of pictures!
[02:41] Mr. Villain
    Once humanity is eradicated,
    I'll proliferate the pandas.
[02:45] Mr. Villain
    Now, the most important thing...
    is to get as far as I can from my work.
[02:51] Mr. Villain
    If I'm unlucky enough to
    bump into a coworker in town...
[02:55] Rooney
    Hey there!
[02:56] Mr. Villain
    I get myself out of there with
    the grace of a shooting star.
[03:00] Mr. Villain
    Then later...
[03:02] Rooney
    That was you at the store, right?
[03:04] Rooney
    You had the hardest time
     picking out ice cream.
[03:06] Mr. Villain
    If they say such things,
    I pretend to be clueless.
[03:10] Rooney
    Oh, maybe it was someone else...
[03:13] Rooney
    I could have sworn it was you, though.
SIGN    Panda Enclosure
[03:15] Mr. Villain
    With that, my plan is flawless.
[03:18] Mr. Villain
    However, I must still watch
    out for the Rangers.
[03:23] Mr. Villain
    Those lowly human fools insist
    on resisting us at every turn!
[03:30] Mr. Villain
    And their skills are certainly
    not to be taken lightly.
[03:43] Mr. Villain
    But I would never do battle
    with the Rangers today.
[03:49] Mr. Villain
    Yes, because after all...
[03:52] Red
    Excuse me, you there.
[03:54] Red
    You're from the Evil League, aren't you?
[03:57] Red
    I sense villainous cosmic
    energy coming from you.
[04:05] Red
    Sucks for you, running into
    me while I'm on patrol!
[04:12] Red
    I, Ranger Dawn Red, challenge you to battle!
[04:25] Mr. Villain
    How about a truce for today, Ranger?
[04:31] Red
    What?!
[04:34] Mr. Villain
    I like pandas, you see.
[04:37] Mr. Villain
    Why fight here and scare the poor things?
[04:41] Red
    Wuh...
[04:44] Red
    I like them, too.
[04:45] Mr. Villain
    You have good taste, Ranger.
[04:48] Mr. Villain
    By the way, that ticket you're holding...
[04:52] Mr. Villain
    Isn't that admission for the aquarium?
[04:55] Red
    W-Well, I...
[04:58] Mr. Villain
    You couldn't possibly be
    at the zoo by mistake
[05:02] Mr. Villain
    when you're scheduled to patrol
    the aquarium, could you?
[05:11] Red
    How'd you know?
[05:13] Mr. Villain
    From Uenono Station, get off at the ninth
    stop. The aquarium's right there.
[05:19] Mr. Villain
    Now then, I must be going—
[05:21] Red
    Um!
[05:31] Red
    How do I... get to the station?
SIGN    Ranger Dawn Red has absolutely 
    no sense of direction!
[05:37] Red
    I fail so hard at going
    back the way I came...
SIGN    Uenono
SIGN    Shinanogawa
SIGN    Only
[06:08] Mr. Villain
    Maybe the wait to see
    the pandas is shorter by now.
[06:13] Red
    Oh no! Which train do I take?!
SIGN    Ticket Gate
[06:20] Mr. Villain
    I think I'll go get in line again.
[06:24] Mr. Villain
    I would never do battle
    with the Rangers today.
[06:29] Mr. Villain
    Yes, because after all, it's my day off.
[06:40] Mr. Villain
    The convenience store...
[06:43] Mr. Villain
    A location where one can find
    a variety of items,
SIGN    Rice ball fillings you're sure to love
[06:49] Mr. Villain
    from groceries to daily
    necessities to publications.
SIGN    Recommended
[06:54] Yamano
    Welcome!
[06:56] Harada
    Welcome!
SIGN    Limited Edition Collaboration Merch
SIGN    Ramune
SIGN    Ramune
SIGN    Ramune
SIGN    Animal
    Figure
    Stand
SIGN    Animal
    Figure
    Stand
SIGN    Magical Girl Angel Anima
SIGN    Magical Girl Angel Anima
SIGN    BLACK COFFEE
SIGN    BLACK COFFEE
[07:07] Mr. Villain
    Why are there so many types
    of the same beverage?
SIGN    Cup Noodles
[07:14] Mr. Villain
    The abundant range of goods is striking,
SIGN    Bean Jam Bun
SIGN    Bean Jam Bun
SIGN    Cinnamon Rolls
SIGN    Consommé Chips
SIGN    Salted Seaweed Chips
[07:16] Mr. Villain
    as is the way they change out products
    with the seasons here on Earth.
SIGN    Calligraphy Pen
SIGN    Highlighter
SIGN    SHAMPOO
SIGN    Seasonal Travel
SIGN    Simple Sides
SIGN    Seasonal
     Lunch
SIGN    Variety Lunch
[07:25] Mr. Villain
    Of everything available, there's one thing
    in particular that pleases me.
[07:36] Mr. Villain
    They had red sweet potato soft serve
    here until yesterday, and now it's gone?!
[07:41] Mr. Villain
    And there's another product in its place?!
SIGN    Winter Exclusive
SIGN    Strawberry Mochi Bar
[07:46] Mr. Villain
    "Winter Exclusive Strawberry Mochi Bar"?!
SIGN    Strawberry Mochi Bar
[07:49] Mr. Villain
    What the hell is that?!
[07:51] Mr. Villain
    I believe "strawberry" refers to a red fruit.
[07:56] Mr. Villain
    Mochi? What is "mochi"?
[07:59] Mr. Villain
    Does it pertain to texture?
[08:01] sfx
    DOOM
[08:09] Yamano
    What's the matter with him?
[08:20] sfx
    Gloom...
[08:23] Yamano
    He's devastated!
[08:25] Yamano
    Can he not find what he wanted?
[08:28] Yamano
    I'm sorry! I just got done
    changing out the stock!
SIGN    Yamano
[08:31] Yamano
    We have plenty of other tasty treats!
[08:34] Yamano
    Like the strawberry mochi bar!
[08:35] Yamano
    I recommend it!
[08:37] Yamano
    Really!
[08:40] Mr. Villain
    I'll play your game.
[08:42] Mr. Villain
    There'll be hell to pay if this
    strawberry mochi thing tastes bad.
[08:46] Mr. Villain
    Mark my words, Earthlings!
[08:50] Mr. Villain
    I'll take these.
[08:53] Yamano
    Yes, sir!
[08:54] Yamano
    Oh, nice.
[08:56] Yamano
    We just started selling these.
    They're pretty good.
[09:02] Yamano
    I recommend them.
[09:05] Mr. Villain
    Huh?
[09:07] Yamano
    I-I-I'm sorry, I just...
[09:09] Yamano
    I like ice cream too, so I can't help
    but buy all the new kinds we get in.
[09:14] Yamano
    N-Nothing beats a winter ice cream break
    in a warm room, you know?
[09:18] Yamano
    Right?
SIGN    Now I've done it!
[09:27] Yamano
    I-I'm sorry!
[09:29] Mr. Villain
    I'll give it a try.
[09:32] Mr. Villain
    Since you recommend it.
[09:35] Yamano
    R-Right!
[09:38] Yamano
    Thank you very much.
[09:44] Mr. Villain
    In a warm room, huh?
[09:47] Mr. Villain
    I've always eaten ice cream in the cold
    for fear it would melt.
[09:58] Mr. Villain
    There we go.
[10:32] Mr. Villain
    That's not bad.
[10:34] Mr. Villain
    In the near future, we'll wipe
    humanity from this planet.
[10:39] Mr. Villain
    But maybe I'd be willing to spare
    that store until the very end.
SIGN    Ranger Collab Meat Buns
[10:46] Red
    Three Ranger collaboration meat buns
     and pizza buns, please.
[10:51] Yamano
    Coming right up!
[10:52] Yamano
    Wait, the Red Ranger?!
[10:55] Yamano
    In the flesh?! Just look at that face!
[10:57] Red
    And if you don't mind me asking,
    is the place on this map near here?
[11:02] Yamano
    Let's see...
[11:04] Yamano
    I think that's in a neighboring prefecture.
[11:08] Red
    Huh?
[11:09] Yamano
    Huh?
[11:10] Red
    Huh?
[11:11] Yamano
    Huh?
[11:11] Red
    Huh?
[11:13] Yamano
    Huh...?
SIGN    Mr. Villain's Day Off
SIGN    Mr. Villain's Day Off
[11:21] Mr. Villain
    I am a high-ranking officer
    of the Evil League.
[11:32] Mr. Villain
    Another day off...
[12:18] Mr. Villain
    Maybe I'll do laundry or something today.
[12:27] Mr. Villain
    All I have are eggs and milk.
SIGN    Choujun
[13:00] Mr. Villain
    Make the most of your days off.
[13:03] Mr. Villain
    Take it from me, for I'm an evil mastermind.
[13:12] Mr. Villain
    There are many creatures here on Earth
    that don't live on my home world.
[13:18] Mr. Villain
    Cats, for instance.
[13:21] (Flashback) Mr. Villain
    So you're one of those "cat" things.
SIGN    Meow
[13:24] (Flashback) backgrounder A
    Apparently the breed is
    "Nor Wegianfor Est cat."
[13:28] (Flashback) Mr. Villain
    That's one long-ass name.
[13:31] (Flashback) Mr. Villain
    Its body is long, too...
[13:33] sfx
       Tremble
    
    Tremble
[13:33] sfx
    Tremble
    
    Tremble      
[13:33] Mr. Villain
    Dogs are another example.
[13:36] (Flashback) Mr. Villain
    What the hell are you shaking for?
[13:40] (Flashback) Mr. Villain
    Cold, are you?
[13:42] (Flashback) Mr. Villain
    Hey, go get a blanket.
[13:44] (Flashback) backgrounder A
    Yes, sir!
[13:45] Mr. Villain
    But then there's this creature.
SIGN    Black-and-White Furball
[13:48] Mr. Villain
    Just what is this thing?
[13:51] Mr. Villain
    To find out, I once went out investigating
    even though it was my day off.
[13:59] (Flashback) kid
    I'm first!
[14:02] Mr. Villain
    This counted as work, by the way,
    so I requested comp time to make up for it.
SIGN    Okapi
SIGN    Maned Wolf
SIGN    Pallas's Cat
SIGN    Shoebill
SIGN    Naked Mole-Rat
[14:27] Mr. Villain
    What is this place?
[14:29] Mr. Villain
    There are all kinds of creatures,
    not just the black-and-white furball.
SIGN    Lions
SIGN    Tigers
SIGN    Gibbons
[14:35] Mr. Villain
    Lions and tigers?
[14:38] Mr. Villain
    Sequestering even large carnivores?
[14:40] Mr. Villain
    What are you up to, Earthlings?
[14:44] Mr. Villain
    Could this be some experimental facility?!
[14:48] (Flashback) Mr. Villain
    We can never let down our guard!
[14:49] (Flashback) small child
    Mommy.
[14:50] (Flashback) mother
    No pointing!
[14:52] Mr. Villain
    No matter. My objective for today
    is the black-and-white furball.
[14:59] Mr. Villain
    But you'll get what's coming to you!
[15:03] Mr. Villain
    At a later date, this is
    what I wrote in my report:
[15:08] Mr. Villain
    "I'd like to visit again."
[15:13] Mr. Villain
    Thus did I wind up encountering pandas.
[15:35] Red
    You, nice guy from the Evil League!
[15:39] Red
    Thank you very much for the other day.
[15:42] Red
    Please accept this as thanks!
[15:50] Mr. Villain
    So you do know the score.
[15:54] Red
    Is our truce still in effect today?
[15:57] Mr. Villain
    I would never do battle
    with the Rangers today.
[16:01] Mr. Villain
    Because after all, it's my day off.
[16:09] Mr. Villain
    Indeed, I value my time off above all else.
[16:14] Mr. Villain
    Days off should begin with quality
    sleep and delicious food.
[16:19] Mr. Villain
    But what you must remember most
    is to get as far as possible from work.
[16:25] Mr. Villain
    After going shopping
    and carelessly running into a Ranger,
[16:30] Mr. Villain
    then nearly encountering
    a coworker at the supermarket,
[16:34] Mr. Villain
    I got myself out of there
    with the grace of a shooting star.
[16:38] Mr. Villain
    Thus did I flawlessly defend my day off.
[16:42] Mr. Villain
    But now I'm seething with rage!
[16:46] Mr. Villain
    It's my day off, and what of it?!
[16:49] Mr. Villain
    I worked all week with the intent
     to have curry tonight!
[16:54] Mr. Villain
    But they only had extra-spicy
     roux and not mild!
[16:58] Mr. Villain
    I can't eat this! Damn you, Earthlings!
[17:01] Mr. Villain
    Today's the day I kill you all!
[17:04] TV announcer
    Coming up, we have a panda special!
[17:07] TV announcer
    The sheer sight of them enjoying their bamboo
[17:10] TV announcer
    makes them the stars of the animal world!
[17:13] TV announcer
    Sometimes they lie around,
    sometimes they roll around.
[17:17] TV announcer
    Our visitors are head over heels
    for their charming antics!
[17:21] TV announcer
    We can't wait for the baby panda's
    first public appearance next week!
[17:25] Mr. Villain
    On this day, cuteness saved the world.
SIGN    Mr. Villain's Day Off
SIGN    Mr. Villain's Day Off
[17:38] Mr. Villain
    I have the day off today.
[17:41] Mr. Villain
    I'm visiting a place called
    a "shopping mall."
[17:47] Mr. Villain
    An enemy attack?!
[17:49] Sora/Mugi
    Daddy!
[17:56] Sora/Mugi
    You're not our daddy...
[18:02] Sora
    Mister!
[18:03] Mugi
    We want some of that!
[18:05] Mr. Villain
    Hasn't your family ever taught you
    not to accept food from strangers?
[18:11] Sora/Mugi
    Nope!
[18:14] Mr. Villain
    How the hell do they raise
    kids on this planet?
[18:20] Mr. Villain
    Okay, but you're getting cups and not cones.
[18:23] Sora
    How come?
[18:24] Mugi
    We don't want that.
[18:25] Mr. Villain
    Cups are safer.
SIGN    Prone to falling
[18:28] Mugi
    Cones are cooler.
SIGN    Uncool
SIGN    Dumb
[18:35] Mr. Villain
    That is true.
[18:37] Mr. Villain
    Order cones then,
    but make sure not to drop anything.
[18:42] clerk A
    Even their dad thinks cones are cooler.
[18:47] Mr. Villain
    We're going straight
    to the lost children center next, kids.
[18:52] Sora
    Thanks, Mr. Stranger Who's Not Our Daddy!
[18:57] Mr. Villain
    Do not call me that here.
[19:02] Sora
    Just kidding! Thanks!
[19:12] Mr. Villain
    Hey, you okay?
[19:14] Sora
    My ice cream...
[19:16] Mr. Villain
    I told you to be careful.
[19:18] Sora
    My ice cream!
[19:21] Mr. Villain
    Don't cry.
[19:23] Mr. Villain
    We're almost to the lost child center,
    and you'll get to see your daddy there, okay?
SIGN    Very much panicking inside
[19:28] Mugi
    Mister.
[19:30] Mugi
    I think one of those would cheer her up.
[19:34] Sora
    It would. Pretty please...
[19:38] Sora/Mugi
    Mr. Stranger Who's Not Our Daddy.
[19:42] Mr. Villain
    I told you not to call me that.
SIGN    I told you...
    not to call me that
SIGN    not to call me that
[19:46] Sora
    Thanks, Mister!
SIGN    Ring bell for service
[19:49] Mugi
    Thanks a lot.
[19:54] Sora/Mugi
    See you around!
[19:58] Mr. Villain
    I'm sure we'll never meet again.
[20:04] Mr. Villain
    Stick close to your daddy from now on.
[20:07] Sora/Mugi
    We will!
[20:08] Mr. Villain
    By the time you grow up,
    humanity will have perished.
[20:13] Mr. Villain
    So I shall make it a point to remember
    the warmth of your tiny hands.
[20:30] Sora
    He wasn't as evil as I thought he'd be.
[20:32] Mugi
    The enemy has all sorts, too.
[20:35] Sora
    We were just observing him this time.
[20:38] Mugi
    Yes, and by the time we next meet...
[20:41] Red
    Mugi! Sora!
[20:43] Red
    You both came!
[20:45] Red
    As always, I appreciate it.
[20:47] Sora
    I'm impressed you made it to the
    lost children center by yourself.
[20:50] Mugi
    You've definitely grown some, Red.
[20:54] Red
    Thanks!
[20:56] clerk A
    It's those two kids.
[21:05] clerk A
    So that really was some stranger
    and not their dad...?
[21:10] Red
    Since we're here, want anything to eat?
[21:13] Red
    Maybe ice cream?
[21:16] Mugi
    Not right now.
[21:17] Red
    No?
[21:19] Mugi
    We're full.
[21:25] Mugi
    Blue and Pink will be worried.
[21:28] Mugi
    Let's not keep them waiting at home.
[21:30] Red
    Sure.
SIGN    Panda
    Fair
SIGN    Panda
    Fair
SIGN    Panda
    Fair
SIGN    Panda
    Fair
SIGN    Panda
    Fair
[21:47] Mr. Villain
    I'm buying that.
SIGN    Mr. Villain's Day Off
[23:22] Mr. Villain
    Vacant eyes with no intent.
[23:25] Mr. Villain
    A slow walk.
[23:28] Mr. Villain
    An adorable ball of fur.
[23:32] Mr. Villain
    The sweet smell of life.
[23:36] Mr. Villain
    Black and white inside a cage.
[23:39] Mr. Villain
    This planet's disease called "cute."
[23:44] Mr. Villain
    Earth is formidable indeed.
SIGN    Earth Is Formidable Indeed