E9 - Let's Do Chores Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) SIGN    "Sheeeh" [01:40] Ichi     Ron. [01:42] Ichi     12,000. [01:43] Oso     Sheeeh! [01:44] Kara     Damn, that's a lot! [01:50] Todo     Boo! [01:51] Choro     Sheeeh! [01:52] Choro     Stop that! I almost had a heart attack. [01:55] Todo     That was awesome! [01:57] Shake     I wonder what "sheeeh" is. [01:59] Ume     I wonder. [02:03] Jyushi     Huh? You want me to explain     what "sheeeh" is? [02:07] Shake     Yes. We do not know what "sheeeh" is. [02:10] Ume     We do not. [02:15] Jyushi     We should ask its creator, then. [02:18] Both     Creator? [02:20] Iyami     Sheeeh! [02:22] Iyami     Y-Y-You don't know what "sheeeh" is? [02:28] Iyami     You don't know what "sheeeh" is? [02:31] Iyami     You're telling me you don't     know what "sheeeh" is?! [02:36] Jyushi     Whoa! Iyami, are you okay? [02:39] Jyushi     D-Don't take it personally. [02:40] Jyushi     They just popped up recently, so it's not     surprising they don't know what it is. [02:46] Iyami     Hmph. [02:52] Jyushi     A scrapbook! You actually made one? [02:56] Shake     Is "sheeeh" widely known, then? [02:58] Ume     Is it that famous? [03:01] Iyami     Of course it is! [03:02] Jyushi     Calm down, Iyami. [03:04] iyami     "Sheeeh" is legendary gag from the Showa     Era created by me, a star comedian. [03:09] Iyami     Back in the day, everyone mimicked it! [03:12] Iyami     The original Osomatsu-kun wouldn't     have been popular without it! [03:15] Iyami     Which means Akatsuka Fujio-chan     would've gone hungry, too! [03:19] Iyami     The stupid sextuplets     wouldn't have been famous, [03:21] Iyami     and the anime wouldn't be     airing again in the Reiwa Era! [03:23] Iyami     Studio Pierrot would've gone bankrupt, [03:24] Iyami     and you new characters     never would've shown up! [03:27] Iyami     "Sheeeh" is the start of everything! [03:29] Iyami     How dare you be in this series     without knowing that?! [03:33] Jyushi     Calm down, Iyami. [03:35] Shake     Understood. [03:36] Ume     Understood. [03:38] Shake     But I don't think "famous" is     the correct way to describe it. [03:42] Ume     I don't believe it is. [03:44] Iyami     Hmm? [03:45] Jyushi     Uh, hey... [03:46] Shake     For example, we're from the Reiwa     Era and we'd never heard of it. [03:50] Shake     It would appear that this is something     from more than sixty years ago. [03:55] Ume     Therefore, it would be hard to believe [03:57] Ume     something so old would be so     well-known in the present. [04:01] Ume     I'd say the level of recognition is 4. [04:03] Shake     Which would mean that "it used     to be famous" is a better way [04:06] Shake     to describe it than "it is famous." [04:08] Both     "Sheeeh" is a thing from the past     that is now just an awkward gag. [04:11] Both     We believe that this is more accurate. [04:19] Iyami     What agency do they belong to? [04:22] Iyami     How long have they been in the business? [04:24] Iyami     They're newbies still in their first year, right? [04:27] Iyami     You're gonna let them talk     to a veteran like that? [04:30] Iyami     They didn't even come greet     me before the show started. [04:34] Iyami     Me could see that they never work in     this business again if me wanted to. [04:37] Iyami     Are they those 7th-generation     comedians I keep hearing about? [04:41] Iyami     This is what happens when you don't     properly teach these young'uns. [04:49] Jyushi     So... let's respect our elders. [04:52] Jyushi     That was a bit rude. [04:54] Shake     Apparently, we were rude,     so we humbly apologize. [04:58] Ume     We apologize. [05:00] Iyami     As long as you understand. [05:02] Iyami     If you want to make a living off of a gag anime,     you need to know more legendary gags. [05:09] Shake     Gag? [05:10] Ume     Gag. [05:11] Shake     I don't believe that's the correct     way to describe that, either. [05:14] Ume     I don't think so, either. [05:15] Jyushi     Uh, hey! SIGN    A short phrase or action inserted in the course of a conversation or activity that has nothing to do with whatever is going on and brings about laughter. Also known as a joke or a quip. [05:17] Shake     A gag is a humorous saying or     action that makes people laugh. [05:24] Ume     But the expectation value SIGN    Current expectation value for someone in the present laughing at "Sheeeh" [05:25] Ume     that someone in present times     will laugh at "sheeeh" is 0.1%. [05:29] Shake     For example, if you were to enter a comedy     competition with "sheeeh" as your weapon, [05:32] Shake     is it possible for you to become a finalist? [05:35] Ume     It is not. The farthest you'd     get is the second round. [05:37] Shake     It's not funny. Meaning it doesn't     mean the requirements for a gag. [05:40] Ume     Is there a reason for unfunny lines     or actions from the Showa Era [05:43] Ume     to exist in the Reiwa Era? [05:46] Both     Is there any possibility of winning?     What do you think? [05:52] Iyami     What agency do they belong to? [05:55] Iyami     How long have they been in the business? [05:57] Iyami     If they were my students, me would've     beaten them to a pulp already. SIGN    Junmai Ginjo Sake     Shie [06:02] Iyami     Leave. [06:03] Shake     Please! [06:04] Ume     Please! [06:06] Shake     We'd like to know more about "sheeeh." [06:09] Shake     The sextuplets always seem     to have fun using it, [06:12] Shake     but we AI don't understand it. [06:15] Ume     Don't go back inside. We'd like to     understand "sheeeh" a little bit more. [06:20] Both     Please teach us the way     of the sheeeh, master. [06:23] Jyushi     R-Riceballs... [06:43] Iyami     What do you think you're doing?     Get over here already. [06:46] Iyami     Me will teach you. [06:48] Jyushi     Iyami, are you sure? [06:50] Iyami     It's part of a veteran's job to     make sure our legacies live on. [06:54] Iyami     And... [06:56] Iyami     Look at this pathetic     world we're in right now. [06:59] Iyami     We will need powerful gags soon, [07:02] Iyami     and me wants to hand those off     to the younger generation. [07:06] Jyushi     I-Iyami! [07:10] Iyami     This is special. [07:12] Iyami     This is the one and only original sheeeh! [07:18] Iyami     What's the holdup? Just do what I do! [07:22] Iyami     Sheeeh! [07:23] Riceballs     Sh-Sheeeh! [07:25] Iyami     Too soft! Sheeeh! [07:27] Riceballs     Sheeeh! [07:28] Iyami     It needs more oomph! [07:29] Iyami     The raised arm needs to be as straight     as possible, bending just your wrist. [07:33] Iyami     The lower arm should be parallel     to the ground, like this. [07:36] Iyami     Like this! This! [07:38] Iyami     Sheeeh! [07:39] Riceballs     Sheeeh! [07:40] Iyami     Sheeeh! [07:41] Riceballs     Sheeeh! [07:42] Iyami     Sheeeh! Sheeeh! Sheeeh! [07:46] Iyami     Sh-Sheeeh! Sh-Sheeeh! [07:48] Iyami     Sh-Sh-Sh-Sh-Sh... [07:50] Iyami     Sheeeh! [07:57] Iyami     This is the power of a true legend. [07:59] Shake     Excuse me. [08:01] Shake     It's not that we actually     want to do "sheeeh." [08:04] Ume     It's not. [08:11] Shake     We want you to explain     to us what "sheeeh" is. [08:15] Shake     What exactly is the true nature of "sheeeh"? [08:18] Iyami     T... [08:19] Iyami     True nature? [08:21] Ume     What exactly is the meaning of sheeeh? [08:23] Iyami     M-Meaning? [08:24] Shake     Why does this gag exist? [08:27] Ume     Why exactly do you do it? [08:29] Shake     What is the cause-and-effect     relationship between raising [08:32] Shake     your foot and angling your arms? [08:33] Ume     What's so funny about     this in the first place? [08:36] Shake     What does it mean to be funny? [08:38] Ume     What's the point of this gag? [08:39] Shake     What's the point of "sheeeh"? [08:40] Riceballs     Why does it exist in this world? [08:44] Iyami     Sh-Sheeeh is... [08:48] Iyami     Sh-Sheh... Huh? M-Me is overthinking     it now and me doesn't know... [08:55] Iyami     Is this it? [08:57] Iyami     How did me do it all this time? Sheh?! [09:00] Iyami     Sheps?! [09:11] Riceballs     We're done now. [09:12] Jyushi     Huh? Oh, you're done? [09:15] Riceballs     Sheeeh! [09:18] Jyushi     It's still not as sharp as it could be. [09:20] Jyushi     But thank goodness you got     the master to teach you. [09:24] Jyushi     Hey, where's Iyami? [09:29] Sign     Me has left on a journey     Please don't search for me     Iyami [09:29] Iyami     Me has left on a journey.     Please don't search for me. [09:32] Jyushi     What?! Why?! SIGN    End SIGN    Totonya's SIGN    Shorts Series [09:38] Toto     Totonya's... [09:39] Nya     ...Shorts Series! SIGN    Outfit [09:41] Both     Outfit! SIGN    No Smoking [09:49] Toto     I just don't get it. [09:51] Toto     How are you more popular than me? [09:54] Toto     I'm definitely cuter,     I'm a better singer and dancer, [09:58] Toto     my personality rules,     and I'm basically perfect. [10:01] Toto     It just doesn't make sense.     What should I do? [10:06] Nya     Why don't you quit the fish thing? [10:09] Nya     No one likes a fish idol.     There's no demand for one. [10:20] Nya     Quit being a fish! [10:26] Nyaa     If you want to be popular... [10:28] Nyaa     Quit being a fish! [10:35] Nyaa     Why are you so obsessed with this thing?! [10:40] Nyaa     See?! You're way cuter this way,     and you'll be way more popular... [11:07] Nyaa     How many of these do you have?! SIGN    End SIGN    "Let's Do Chores" [11:16] Birbs     Chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp,     chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp... [11:20] Birbs     Chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp,     chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp... [11:24] Birbs     Chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp,     chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp... [11:40] ---     Neighborhood     Bulletin [11:56] Oso     Hey, Mom. [11:58] Mom     What? [11:59] Oso     The salmon was a bit burnt.     Be more careful next time. [12:02] Kara     We're counting on you, Mommy. [12:03] Todo     And could you make the fried     eggs a little runnier next time? [12:06] Jyushi     I think the food the Riceballs made     for us the other day was better. [12:10] Choro     True. Mom, why don't you learn     how to cook from the AI? [12:15] Oso     Huh? [12:19] All     Huh? [12:21] Oso     M-Mom? [12:23] Mom     I'm not doing chores anymore. [12:25] All     What?! [12:26] Mom     I won't be cooking, or cleaning, or doing laundry. [12:30] Mom     You can all do those on your own now. [12:33] All     Mom?! [12:36] Kara     H-Hey... What are we going to do about this? [12:39] Jyushi     This happened because you said     something so awful, Osomatsu-niisan. [12:42] Oso     Hey, what you said was worse! [12:44] Choro     Wh-What should we do from now on? [12:48] Todo     Let's do the chores for today. [12:52] All     Huh? [12:52] Oso     Come on, now. No way. [12:54] Todo     We were mean to Mom,     so it'll be punishment for that. [12:57] Oso     Nope, nope, nope. [12:58] Todo     At least, that's what it'll look like. [13:02] Todo     But really, if we don't get     Mom back in a good mood now, [13:05] Todo     our survival as NEETs may be in danger. [13:11] Oso     Let's do those chores! [13:12] Kara     Yes, right now! [13:18] Oso     Fanks! [13:20] Choro     Hey! [13:21] Choro     Don't just throw them in there inside-out. [13:24] Choro     It's a pain to have to reverse them. [13:27] Oso     Huh? But isn't it better     if they're inside-out? [13:31] Oso     I mean, it's the inside that stinks     and soaks up all the sweat. [13:36] Oso     That goes for underwear, too.     The side that your dick touched is dirty. [13:40] Oso     So what's wrong with throwing     them in there like that? [13:44] Oso     What? You gonna tell me I'm wrong? [13:51] Choro     I'll go ahead and wash that     smug heart for you, as well. [14:07] Ichi     Wee-ooh! [14:10] Ichi     The vacuum cleaner is an ambulance! [14:12] Ichi     If you hear it coming, move out of the way! [14:14] Ichi     The vacuum cleaner is an ambulance! [14:19] Kara     Th-The grill... is so hard to clean. [14:23] Kara     Hey, you guys! We're never eating grilled     fish in this household ever again! [14:28] Kara     Got it?! [14:30] Choro     Hey. [14:32] Choro     Man, why couldn't the Riceballs     be around at a time like this? [14:37] Ichi     #$^%(@ the toilet seat $@#(%! [14:39] Ichi     The toilet seat! #$^%(@     the toilet seat $@#(%! [14:40] Choro     What? I have no idea what you're saying! [14:42] Choro     Calm down, Ichimatsu! [14:44] Ichi     Put the toilet seat down,     sit, and take a piss. [14:48] Ichi     You're gonna get your filth everywhere! [14:51] Choro     What? It's not gonna get everywhere. [14:54] Ichi     You try cleaning it.     You'll see how much it gets around. [14:58] Ichi     Now clean it. Clean it yourself.     Come on, come on, come on, come on. [15:08] Choro     Let's put the toilet seat     down and sit before peeing. [15:19] Both     #$^%(@ the toilet seat $@#(%! [15:20] Oso     Huh?! What?! [15:24] Todo     Bath towels dry quicker if     you hang them up diagonally. [15:28] Todo     That's what it says on the internet. [15:33] Todo     The best thing for stains     in carpets is vinegar. [15:37] Todo     You should be using baking     soda for oil stains! [15:40] Todo     Use mandarin peels to get rid     of smells in the microwave! [15:42] Todo     You'll get less pilling on sweaters     if you turn them inside-out. [15:46] Todo     To get rid of water scale,     use salt and grapefruit... [15:53] Ichi     Chores aren't gonna get done with     internet wisdom alone, dumbass! [15:56] Kara     Move your body! [15:58] Jyushi     You moron! [16:03] Todo     Oh, God! It's gonna rip off! [16:09] Ichi     Hey. [16:10] Ichi     What are we going to do     about dinner tonight? [16:13] Choro     Oh, good point. [16:17] Oso     Are you going shopping? [16:18] Ichi     Yeah. I'm gonna go to the supermarket. [16:20] Oso     What about money? [16:21] Ichi     Mom gave me some. [16:22] Oso     Oh, really? GLHF. [16:25] Ichi     You're coming with me. [16:27] Ichi     You're the only one who     hasn't done anything yet. [16:29] Ichi     I'm onto you. [16:32] Jyushi     GLHF. [16:51] Todo     I can't... fold... long-sleeved T-shirts! [16:55] Todo     I want to murder something! [17:01] Kara     Whew, good grief. I'm finally done. [17:09] Kara     Heh... Finished. [17:19] Kara     I-It's neverending... [17:21] Kara     What's going on? [17:23] Kara     Could it be that I'm washing dishes     only to produce more dishes to wash?! SIGN    Akatsuka      Mart [17:35] Oso     Hey, look, Ichimatsu. SIGN    As Advertised SIGN    Bankun SIGN    As Advertised SIGN    Schau Rassen [17:37] Oso     I never knew wieners cost so much. [17:41] Ichi     I had no idea. [17:43] Ichi     I guess that's why we only get     to eat them every now and then. SIGN    Miso, Dashi SIGN    Dried Food, Nori [17:48] Oso     Hey, look, Ichimatsu. [17:50] Oso     Roasted nori's so expensive! SIGN    Roasted Nori SIGN    Seasonal Item SIGN    Roasted Nori [17:51] Oso     I never knew roasted nori cost so much. [17:54] Ichi     I had no idea. [17:55] Ichi     I guess that's why Mom gets mad     at us if we just keep eating it. [18:11] Lady     This register's open! [18:14] Oso     Congrats. You ended up picking     the line that'll take the longest. [18:23] Ichi     Hey! Don't just throw whatever in there! [18:24] Ichi     Take all that out! [18:26] Ichi     Seriously... Why would you put     anything soft at the bottom? [18:30] Ichi     You put the solid, heavy stuff at the bottom. [18:32] Ichi     Like these cans or the breast meat! [18:35] Ichi     Got it? [18:40] Ichi     How in the world? [18:41] Ichi     Divide them so each bag     weighs about the same. [18:44] Ichi     They'll be hard to carry otherwise. [18:48] Ichi     Hang on a second! [18:50] Ichi     Don't put prepared side dishes in as-is!     You need to put them in plastic bags. [19:02] Ichi     The hell are you doing? [19:08] Ichi     What the hell are you doing? [19:13] Choro     So cold! The pain! [19:29] Ichi     They're so heavy... [19:30] Oso     So heavy... [19:32] Oso     I guess shopping is hard labor. [19:35] Ichi     Mom deserves to be paid. [19:39] Oso     Whoa. [19:40] Oso     Look at the time... [19:42] Oso     I guess it takes a while. [19:44] Ichi     Let's hurry home. My hands hurt. [19:47] Oso     Yeah. [19:50] Ichi     Tissue boxes and toilet paper     are pretty cheap, today only. SIGN    Akatsuka Drugs [19:54] Ichi     Should we buy some? [19:56] Oso     Uh, how? [19:57] Oso     We already have so much to carry. [19:59] Ichi     But it's only for today. And they're cheap. [20:02] Oso     Let's not. I can't carry any more. [20:04] Ichi     But it's today only. [20:06] Oso     What? [20:09] Oso     Should we buy some, then? [20:11] Ichi     But it'd be heavy. [20:12] Oso     But it's cheap. [20:13] Ichi     But it's heavy. [20:14] Oso     But it's cheap. [20:14] Ichi     But it's heavy. [20:15] Oso     But it's cheap. [20:16] Both     What to do? [20:48] Oso     Mom... we're done. [20:55] Ichi     Here's dinner. [20:57] Ichi     We did the cleaning and laundry, too. [21:00] Kara     There aren't any dishes left, either. [21:03] Kara     I washed the pots and pans we used, as well. [21:06] Todo     Sorry... about this morning! [21:09] All     We're sorry! [21:12] Todo     So... do you forgive us? [21:20] Six     Thank goodness! [21:27] Dad     I'm home. [21:29] Six     It's Dad! [21:32] Dad     You guys made all this? That's amazing. [21:36] Jyushi     Go on, have some! [21:37] Choro     Before it gets cold. [21:39] Dad     Nah, I'm good. [21:41] Six     Huh? [21:42] Dad     I had dinner with some work buddies      tonight, so I don't need dinner. [21:49] Ichi     If you're going to eat out... [21:52] Todo     ...you need to... [21:54] All     ...call home first! SIGN    End SIGN    Next time on SIGN    Mr. Osomatsu [23:34] Todo     Hello! [23:35] Todo     Youngest brother Matsuno Todomatsu here! [23:37] Todo     On the next Mr. Osomatsu,     we have "Werewolf." [23:40] Todo     That's right! The game where we try to     figure out who the nasty ol' werewolf is! [23:46] Todo     I wish I was playing it with girls, though. [23:48] Todo     Why's it gotta be with my brothers? SIGN    "Werewolf" etc. [23:51] Todo     Could someone just execute them already?