E7 - Tidbits Collection 3 Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [01:40] Totty     Huh? [01:41] Chibi     Yeah, uh, could I get a cut and a dye job? SIGN    "Salon" [01:44] Totty     C-C... Cut? [01:46] Totty     A-And a dye job? [01:55] Totty     P-Pardon me... [02:10] Totty     All done. [02:14] Chibi     Thanks! [02:23] Totty     Is this really okay?! SIGN    End SIGN    Mr. Osomatsu [02:32] Uggo     Please stop crying. SIGN    "Stand Up" [02:33] Uggo     Mommy will be home soon. [02:37] Uggo     See? Here she is now. [02:45] Both     We're back... [02:52] Toto     She stood up! [02:53] Nyaa     She stood up! [02:54] Toto     Congrats! [02:55] Nyaa     Thanks! [02:58] Uggo     Uh, you guys got the wrong idea. SIGN    End SIGN    Totoko SIGN    Nyaa [03:12] Totty     Houston, this is M36. [03:14] Totty     We will be arriving at the ISS momentarily. [03:17] Totty     Requesting permission to dock. [03:19] Kara     Houston here, roger. [03:21] Kara     Permission to dock granted. [03:25] Totty     Well, it's finally time. [03:26] Choro     Yeah. Everyone back on     Earth is counting on us. [03:32] Choro     And for everyone who supported us... [03:36] Choro     We need to make sure this is a success. [03:38] Totty     Right! [03:40] Totty     I see it! [03:41] Choro     So that must be it. [03:42] Totty     Yes. [03:43] Choro     All right. [03:45] Choro     Prepare for docking. [04:00] Totty     H-Hey, wait a sec! Stop! Stop! [04:02] Choro     What is it? [04:03] Totty     The shapes are totally different! [04:05] Totty     There's no way we can dock! [04:09] Choro     Wait... We've got the right     space station, right? [04:12] Totty     Yes. [04:13] Choro     Hey, Riceballs. Is this the right one? [04:15] Omu     Yes. This is definitely the     correct space station. [04:19] Choro     That's strange. Let's confirm with Houston. [04:22] Totty     Sure. [04:23] Choro     Houston, this is M36. We have an emergency. [04:27] Kara     What's wrong? [04:28] Choro     We just got to the space station, but our     connector parts seem completely different. [04:35] Kara     Let me see... [04:38] Kara     Actually, I think you can just make it. [04:40] Choro     You think so? [04:41] Todo     No way. [04:41] Kara     The key is to tell yourself you can do it! [04:43] Choro     Good point. [04:44] Todo     No, it's not. [04:45] Kara     Believe in the strength     that lies within you! [04:47] Kara     Then a miracle is sure to happen! [04:51] Choro     All right. [04:52] Totty     What?! [04:53] Kara     Good luck! [04:54] Todo     Hey! Stop! Stop! [04:57] Todo     Huh? Are you seriously going to dock? [05:00] Choro     Yeah. [05:00] Todo     It's not going to fit. [05:02] Choro     A miracle will happen if you     just believe in yourself. [05:04] Todo     That's idealism! [05:05] Todo     That's the last thing that works in space! [05:07] Choro     Huh? Then... should we confirm     with Washington, too? [05:10] Todo     Yeah, please do. [05:12] Choro     Washington, this is M36. [05:15] Oso     'Sup? Did you find some cute aliens? [05:19] Choro     Let's ask the president. [05:20] Todo     Yeah. [05:22] Choro     White House, this is M36. [05:26] Choro     We can only count on our friends now. [05:28] Todo     Ain't that the truth? SIGN    Choromatsu & Todomatsu Congratulations! SIGN    Congratulations     on Your     Successful      Mission [05:32] All     Congratulations on your successful mission! SIGN    Choromatsu & Todomatsu Congratulations! SIGN    Congratulations     on Your     Successful      Mission [05:36] Toto     You're so amazing, Choromatsu-kun!     Todomatsu-kun! [05:39] Dad     We're so proud of you boys! [05:41] Mom     Well done, you two! SIGN    Choromatsu & Todomatsu Congratulations! SIGN    Congratulations     on Your     Successful      Mission [05:44] Jyushi     Let's all celebrate once     you get back to Earth! [05:48] Todo     Jeez, they're all really jumping the gun. [05:51] Todo     They already think we succeeded. [05:53] Todo     But what can we do? [05:56] Todo     Let's head back for now     and think this through fully. [05:59] Todo     Huh? Hey, wait! [06:01] Choro     We can't just turn back now.      We have to do this. [06:04] Todo     Wait, wait, wait, wait! [06:06] Choro     I can do this. I can do this.      I can do this. I can. [06:08] Todo     No, you can't! Some things     just aren't possible! [06:13] Todo     Wait, it's scraping! It's scraping! [06:15] Todo     It's scraping! [06:22] Choro     Go on! Get in there! [06:24] Todo     This isn't docking anymore! [06:26] Choro     Go on! Get in there! SIGN    END SIGN    Mr. Osomatsu [06:43] Iyami     Me is late... SIGN    "The Night Path" [06:45] Iyami     Me is from France.     Why must me go through this? [06:50] Iyami     It's past 2 AM... What a creepy time. [06:53] Iyami     Me needs to get home fast. [06:58] Iyami     I-It's a kappa... [07:12] Hata     Jo... [07:13] Iyami     It's an azukiarai! [07:15] Hata     Jo! [07:28] Iyami     A rokurokubi! [07:39] Iyami     An amabie! [07:51] Iyami     A nopperabou! SIGN    End SIGN    Mr. Osomatsu SIGN    The Master of Wit, Chibikyuu SIGN    Episode Director: Kodaka Yoshiki Script: Matsubara Shuu Art: Tamura Seiki [08:35] Dayon     Halt! SIGN    You Shall Not Pass [08:38] Dayon     You can't cross this bridge! SIGN    You Shall Not Pass [08:44] Chibi     Aw, come on. [08:46] Osoma     Chibikyuu-san! [09:16] Chibi     Got it! I won't pass this bridge! [09:20] Dayon     Head on home, then! [09:24] Osoma     Huh? Protein? [09:28] Osoma     Chibikyuu-san? [09:39] Osoma     Wha?! [09:51] Osoma     He's putting his left foot forward before     his right foot reaches the ground, [09:54] Osoma     and his right foot forward before     his left foot reaches the ground. [09:57] Osoma     This is the product of     mastery of leg strength... [10:00] Osoma     "Walking in the Air." [10:03] Osoma     He is clearly not crossing the bridge, [10:05] Osoma     which means no one can complain. [10:12] Chibi     I apologize for the fuss. [10:14] Toto     I-It's all right. [10:21] Osoma     Way to go, Master of Wit! [10:25] Toto     Wit? [10:30] Iyami     Welcome, Chibikyuu-dono. [10:32] Iyami     Karaemon, prepare the goods. [10:35] Kara     Yes, sir. [10:37] Hata     Jo... [10:39] Iyami     Chibikyuu-dono, I'd like you     to catch this tiger. [10:54] Osoma     So fast! [10:55] Osoma     Again with the protein! [11:04] Chibi     Here we go! [11:14] Ichi     What the hell is that shrimp doing?! [11:16] Jyushi     Did he lose his mind? [11:19] Kara     No, that's not it. [11:20] All     Huh? [11:21] Kara     I can see it! I can see it clearly! [11:23] Kara     I can see that savage tiger     attacking the shrimp! [11:28] Iyami     This is... [11:29] Osoma     Never underestimate the imagination     of a top-class martial artist. [11:33] Osoma     Their keen senses of concentration [11:34] Osoma     can produce a shadow more     realistic than reality itself! [11:41] Chibi     You idjit! Pay attention! [11:44] Iyami     Sheeeh! [11:55] Osoma     Master of Wit! [11:58] Toto     Huh?! SIGN    End SIGN    "Matsuzou's Job" [12:01] Dad     Off I go! [12:05] Ichi     So, like... Dad pretty much supports     our household on his own, right? [12:10] Oso     Yeah. [12:10] Ichi     But we don't know what his job is, do we? [12:14] Oso     No. [12:15] Ichi     Let's go see what he does. [12:17] Oso     Yeah. SIGN    Matsu Matsu Trading [12:20] Ichi     So this is where he works. [12:22] Oso     Huh... SIGN    Be Quiet SIGN    Be Quiet [12:30] Oso     This is basically an office     you'd see anywhere. [12:33] Oso     Talk about déjà vu. [12:34] Ichi     I wonder what his job actually is. [12:36] Oso     Yeah, I have no idea. [12:42] Oso     What? Wait, why? [12:48] Oso     He put it back. [12:54] Both     What? [12:56] Prez     Matsuno-kun, good work. [12:58] Oso     He just gave him money. [13:01] Oso     What kind of job is this? [13:04] Ichi     I wonder what he's making. [13:07] Ichi     What is that? [13:11] Both     Huh?! [13:15] Oso     Stop hanging up. Answer it. [13:19] Oso     Why is he dancing? [13:21] Prez     Matsuno-kun, good work. [13:26] Oso     Seriously, what is his job? [13:31] Dad     I'm tired. I'm so tired! [13:35] Both     Huh? [13:41] Ichi     He froze? [13:44] Both     Huh? Wha? [13:47] Both     That's creepy! That's super creepy! [13:54] ---     He finally answered it. [13:56] Dad     sdkjhjfkdskjds [13:57] Dad     alkdjfoirnkolerngfkj [14:01] Dad     alskdjlakdoijfomk [14:04] Dad     Matsuzou finish! [14:06] Both     Holy shit! [14:09] Ichi     Hey, he's going somewhere. [14:14] Oso     Why's he climbing the side of a building? [14:22] Oso     Wait, is Dad some kind of assassin? [14:25] Ichi     Seriously? [14:41] Prez     Matsuno-kun, you're promoted     to section chief as of tomorrow. [14:43] Dad     Yes! Yes, yes, heck yes! [14:45] Ichi     Huh?! SIGN    End [14:46] Dad     Yes! Yes, yes, heck yes! [14:46] Oso     I have no idea what's going on. SIGN    Master of Wit     Chibikyuu SIGN    Mr. Osomatsu [14:56] Kara     Wow... Do that one more time, Riceballs. SIGN    "Voice Function" [15:02] Salmon     I'm Jyushimatsu! [15:05] Plum     I'm the cute youngest brother, Totty! [15:08] Salmon     I'm Hatabou, jo. [15:10] Plum     Dayon! [15:12] Kara     You guys sound just like them!     What the heck? [15:15] Salmon     This is our voice function. [15:16] Salmon     We AI can recreate any     voice we've heard once. [15:21] Salmon     Are you happy? [15:23] Plum     Are you satisfied? [15:25] Kara     I mean... Wow, that startled me. [15:27] Choro     Yeah. [15:30] Kara     What's up, Choromatsu? [15:32] Choro     H-Hey, Riceballs... Is there any chance     you can do Totoko-chan's voice, too? [15:36] Both     Why, yes! Of course! [15:38] Kara     Seriously?! [15:39] Kara     Then if we request a line, you'll be     able to say it in Totoko-chan's voice? [15:43] Both     Yes! [15:43] Kara     Seriously?! [15:44] Choro     Seriously?! [15:45] Both     Then, then, hey! [15:46] Kara     Is this really okay? [15:48] Choro     Yeah, I'm not sure. [15:50] Kara     This may go against our morals. [15:51] Choro     Especially if you think about     Totoko-chan's feelings. [15:54] Kara     Maybe we shouldn't. [15:57] Kara     Maybe just once. [15:58] Choro     Yeah, just once. [16:01] Choro     First, why don't we have her say our names? [16:04] Kara     Our names... That's a perfect line.     Let's go with that. [16:08] Choro     Riceballs, could you say my     name in Totoko-chan's voice? [16:13] Salmon     Choromatsu-kun. [16:16] Kara     Me, too! [16:18] Plum     Karamatsu-kun. [16:20] Both     Thanks for saying our names, Totoko-chan! [16:24] Both     We're so sorry, Totoko-chan! [16:29] Kara     Wanna try just one more time? [16:30] Choro     Just once more. [16:33] Kara     Hmm... What should our next line be? [16:36] Choro     How about this? [16:38] Choro     I love you. [16:39] Kara     What?! We're already going that far?! [16:42] Kara     Is that really okay?! Is anyone watching?! [16:44] Choro     This is just for good measure! [16:45] Kara     Good measure! Yeah! [16:48] Salmon     I love you. [16:52] Plum     I love you. [16:53] Kara     I-I felt that one! [16:55] Choro     I feel so full! [16:57] Kara     Once more! [16:58] Salmon     I love you. [16:59] Plum     I love you. [17:00] Kara     Could you add our names before that line? [17:02] Salmon     Karamatsu-kun, I love you. [17:05] Plum     Choromatsu-kun, I love you. [17:07] Choro     I'm going to fly! So high! [17:09] Kara     You already are. [17:11] Choro     So are you, though! [17:13] Both     We're so sorry, Totoko-chan! [17:17] Kara     Wanna try just one more time? [17:19] Choro     Just once more. [17:21] Choro     What should our next line be? [17:24] ---     ...thing... ris... [17:25] Choro     Huh? Say what? [17:26] Kara     Something risqué... [17:28] Choro     Huh? [17:28] Kara     Something risqué... [17:30] Choro     Risqué? What do you mean? [17:32] Kara     I mean, you know... s-something dirty... [17:35] Choro     Huh? Just spit it out already. [17:39] Kara     You're an ass, you know that?!     You know exactly what I'm saying! [17:41] Kara     You just don't want to say it yourself! [17:43] Choro     I have no idea what you're talking about!     What do you want to hear Totoko-chan say? [17:47] Kara     You know! Something involving our dicks! [17:50] Choro     Is this really okay?!     No one's watching, are they?! [17:52] Kara     Hey! [17:53] Choro     Hey! [17:56] Choro     Yeah, we probably shouldn't do that. [18:00] Kara     Yeah, I know... But we want     to go as far as we can... [18:03] Choro     I get it! Something that's within our     moral boundaries and still dirty. [18:07] Choro     I wonder what it should be... [18:10] Kara     Hey, how about this? [18:12] Kara     Bukkake udon. [18:14] Choro     No, that's too dirty. You went too far. [18:15] Kara     I see. [18:17] Choro     Hey, what about this? [18:18] Choro     Privatization of Reclaimed     Lands in Perpetuity Act. [18:20] Kara     Why do you want her to say that? [18:22] Choro     No? [18:23] Kara     How about this? Coccyx. [18:25] Choro     How about this? Essex. [18:27] Kara     Shabu-shabu. [18:28] Choro     Mastication. [18:30] Kara     Stimulated emission. [18:31] Choro     Cummingtonite. [18:32] Kara     Formication. [18:33] Choro     Direct Opposing Rook. [18:35] Kara     Lickety-split. [18:36] Choro     Cockchafer. [18:38] Choro     It's no use. We've gone in so many circles,     I don't know what's safe anymore. [18:42] Kara     Let's stop messing around. [18:45] Kara     I feel bad for Totoko-chan. [18:46] Choro     Yeah. [18:47] Choro     Let's stop. [18:52] Both     We're done! [18:54] Kara     Riceballs... [18:55] Kara     Read this clearly and with     passion in Totoko-chan's voice! [18:59] Salmon     Are you sure? [19:00] Choro     Yes! We're trash! This is fine! [19:04] Both     All right. [19:06] Salmon     Here we go. [19:08] Salmon     Coc— [19:10] Salmon     Vagi— An— [19:12] Kara     We're sorry! [19:13] Choro     We're sorry! [19:14] Salmon     —me harder! Harder— [19:16] Kara     We're sorry! [19:17] Choro     We're sorry! [19:19] Omu     Fu— [19:20] Omu     Mast— [19:21] Omu     Play with my— [19:22] Omu     In the— [19:23] Omu     Harder— [19:24] Omusu     Pussy— [19:27] Salmon     There you have it. [19:28] Salmon     Are you happy? [19:30] Plum     Are you satisfied? [19:39] Both     They're dead. SIGN    End SIGN    Mr. Osomatsu SIGN    "Governor Jyushimatsu" [19:46] Sign     Let's Stand Firm,     Jyushimatsu Prefecture [19:47] Guy     We will now begin this routine     press conference with the [19:50] Guy     Governor of Jyushimatsu     Prefecture, Jyushimatsu. [19:53] Guy     We'll have time for a Q&A later. SIGN    Come on over to Jyushimatsu Prefecture Tourism Promotion Campaign [19:56] Guy     Governor, if you will. [20:02] Guy     Governor. [20:06] Guy     Governor? [20:09] Guy     Governor, if you will... [20:11] Jyushi     Governor, if you will. [20:13] Guy     No, you're the governor. [20:14] Jyushi     Huh? The governor? [20:15] Guy     Yes. [20:16] Jyushi     Governor? [20:17] Guy     No. [20:18] Jyushi     Governor? [20:19] Guy     Yes. [20:20] Jyushi     Governor! [20:23] Guy     Please don't touch the mic,     Governor. Governor. [20:29] Guy     Please remove that, Governor. [20:31] Guy     Please go ahead with this     week's announcements. [20:34] Jyushi     Ahem. [20:38] Guy     Governor. [20:40] Guy     Governor. [20:42] Guy     Please don't touch the mic, Governor. [20:43] Guy     Please go ahead with this     week's announcements. [20:46] Jyushi     Ahem. [20:48] Jyushi     Well, it seems that the     people of our prefecture [20:52] Jyushi     have been very vocal, detailed, and rather     bold regarding their regrets lately, [20:58] Jyushi     and I thought, "Oh, no. Oh, no, no." [21:01] Jyushi     I regretfully understand how bad this is, [21:04] Jyushi     but while we're on the subject,     or maybe we're not on the subject at all. [21:08] Jyushi     In regards to the regrets, I fundamentally     wholeheartedly understand [21:13] Jyushi     this comprehensible untrodden intent and,     concerning the allegations, [21:19] Jyushi     I strive to be bold as well as detailed, [21:22] Jyushi     vague, hateful, yet unbelievable poker face. SIGN    Come on over to     Jyushimatsu Prefecture     Tourism Promotion      Campaign [21:26] Jyushi     That ends well all's well is. [21:28] ---     Let's Stand Firm,     Jyushimatsu Prefecture [21:29] Jyushi     Nope. [21:30] Jyushi     All's well that ends well. [21:32] Jyushi     That's not quite right, either. [21:35] Jyushi     As for everyone in the prefecture, [21:38] Jyushi     I hope that you will warmly respect today, [21:41] Jyushi     never truly devoting yourself to the cause, [21:44] Jyushi     and I fundamentally, symbolically,     unabashedly want to eat some offal. [21:49] Jyushi     But while I regret to reform     you about your regrets, [21:54] Jyushi     it cannot be helped to the point     that help cannot be helped [21:57] Jyushi     and therefore, cannot be helped. [22:01] Jyushi     So I hope that you will all praise so-and-so     Kamehameha James Rodriguez. [22:07] Jyushi     Thank you very much for watching today! [22:12] Guy     Governor! Governor! [22:15] Guy     How the hell did you get elected?! SIGN    End SIGN    Next time on SIGN    Mr. Osomatsu SIGN    "To the South" etc.