E6 - Iyami Has Arrived Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) SIGN    "Iyami Has Arrived" [01:34] Oso     What? Seriously? [01:36] Oso     Mom and Dad left on a trip? [01:38] Choro     Yeah. Apparently. [01:40] Todo     They didn't tell us, did they? [01:42] Kara     Nope. [01:43] Jyu     Didn't hear a thing. [01:44] Choro     When I woke up, I found this letter. SIGN    To our beloved NEETs, Your parents will be going on a trip by themselves. Well? Aren't you jealous? Aren't adults who actually work for a living great, NEETs? We get to go to a hot spring if we randomly feel like it. [01:48] Ichi     "To our beloved NEETs. [01:50] Ichi     Your parents will be going     on a trip by themselves. [01:54] Ichi     Well? Aren't you jealous? [01:56] Ichi     Aren't adults who actually work     for a living great, NEETs? [01:59] Ichi     We get to go to a hot spring     if we randomly feel like it. [02:02] Ichi     We won't be back for a few days, so kthnxbye." [02:07] Kara     Well, that's not nice. [02:09] Todo     It's not. Our parents totally     tried to egg us on. [02:11] Ichi     "PS: Allow us to yell at you in advance. [02:15] Ichi     What are you talking about?!     Who do you think you are?! [02:17] Ichi     Just because your parents     left for a couple of days! [02:20] Ichi     You should be ashamed     of yourselves, you assholes! [02:22] Ichi     That is all. Love, Mom and Dad." [02:24] Todo     Was that even necessary?     They just went off on us as a PS! [02:27] Oso     And why are they yelling at us in advance?! [02:29] Jyu     Yeah! [02:30] Choro     So, yeah. That's apparently what's going on,     so let's try to survive for a couple of days. [02:36] Choro     Look, it seems like they left     us a little bit of money. [02:40] Choro     I'm sure nothing too bad will happen. [02:43] Todo     Looks like something already did. [02:45] Oso     Huh? It's gone! [02:46] Oso     There's nothing in here! [02:49] Todo     Way to go, Choromatsu-niisan! [02:52] Oso     That's mine! [02:55] Oso     That's my money! [02:57] Kara     Go, Choromatsu! Leave this to us! [02:59] Jyu     Go, Choromatsu-niisan! Don't worry about us! [03:02] Ichi     Hurry! [03:03] Todo     That money's basically our lifeline,     so make sure you hide it somewhere safe. [03:08] Choro     Got it. [03:12] Todo     What now? [03:13] Todo     What's— [03:20] Todo     I-Iyami? [03:22] Iyami     Sheeeh... [03:25] Iyami     Sh-Sh-Sh-Sh-Sheeeh... [03:26] Choro     Hey, don't come in here! [03:27] Choro     Don't come in here! Hey! [03:29] Oso     Wait, why are you so beat up? [03:32] Iyami     H-Help me, Osomatsu... [03:36] Todo     Stop! [03:39] Iyami     Me hasn't eaten anything in so long... [03:42] Oso     Oh, really? Go home. [03:43] Iyami     Me is going to die. [03:44] Oso     Go home. [03:45] Iyami     Going to die... [03:46] Oso     Leave. [03:50] Iyami     There's something wrong with this world. [03:53] Iyami     Me worked so hard, and yet look at me! [03:56] Iyami     Me hasn't been able to     save any money at all! [03:58] Iyami     Me worked... [04:00] (Flashback) Iyami     Sheeeh! [04:02] Iyami     And worked... SIGN    Here's your box [04:04] (Flashback) Iyami     Sheeeh! [04:05] Iyami     And worked... SIGN    Redo!! Go back to     the country! You suck! [04:07] (Flashback) Iyami     Sheeeh! SIGN    Now hiring! SIGN    Totally free!! Pink Salon Iyami SIGN    Totally free [04:08] Iyami     Worked, worked, and worked some more... [04:12] Iyami     Sheeeh! [04:15] Iyami     Ah, this is the true meaning     of social polarization. [04:18] Choro     Society has nothing to do with this, does it? [04:20] Choro     It's just that you sucked     at your jobs, right? [04:22] Iyami     And so me is going to let you all save     a poor victim of society like myself. [04:31] Iyami     Me is going to let you save— [04:36] Choro     Let's throw him into the ocean. [04:38] Oso     Roger! [04:40] Iyami     Sheeeh! [04:43] Iyami     What's the big idea? Me almost died! [04:46] Oso     Don't worry. You'll live to be 4,000. [04:49] Iyami     Damn it. Don't you have a conscience at all? [04:52] Choro     Not in the least, surprisingly. [04:54] Iyami     What about compassion?! [04:55] Ichi     Nope, surprisingly. [04:58] Iyami     Don't say that! We're old friends! [05:01] Iyami     Just feed me a little! [05:03] Iyami     Take care of me! [05:04] Iyami     Please? Please? [05:08] Todo     No! [05:12] Kara     We get that you've hit some hard times, [05:15] Kara     but we're also in a crisis     ourselves because we're stuck [05:20] Kara     with our stupid, useless, piece of     shit eldest brother for a few days [05:23] Kara     without our parents. [05:24] Oso     Yeah! [05:28] Choro     We don't have any money to give you. [05:30] Choro     So go on, get lost. [05:32] Iyami     Money? Food? [05:33] Iyami     What are you talking about? [05:36] Iyami     Me doesn't need anything so luxurious. [05:41] Iyami     Let's see... [05:43] Iyami     Th-These are... losing horse race tickets! [05:46] Iyami     Are you going to throw them away? [05:48] Oso     Of course. They're losing tickets. [05:51] Iyami     What do you think? [05:54] Iyami     They're safe! [05:59] Oso     Hey! What the heck are you doing?! [06:01] Iyami     I can get a really good stock from these. [06:03] Oso     Huh?! [06:04] Iyami     Are you going to get rid of this? [06:06] Jyu     Yeah, we are. Because that's     last week's horse race paper. [06:13] Iyami     It's safe! [06:15] Jyu     What are you doing?! SIGN    With DVD Pachinko Winning Guide SIGN    Kokko-chan Osomatsu-sama SIGN    This might be okay! [06:18] Kara     They're old magazines.     Of course we're pitching them. [06:21] Iyami     Me is going to try deep-frying these. [06:24] Kara     What?! Why?! [06:25] Todo     We're tossing those. [06:26] Ichi     We're tossing them. SIGN    Canned Bonito SIGN    Tuna SIGN    Job Hunting [06:27] Choro     Tossing. [06:28] Kara     Tossing. [06:29] Oso     Tossing. [06:30] Kara     Tossing. [06:31] Choro     Tossing. [06:32] Ichi     Tossing. [06:33] Jyushi     Tossing. [06:34] Todo     Tossing. [06:38] Iyami     Sheeeh! [06:42] Iyami     Sheeeh! [06:43] Iyami     Iyami's full-course meal is complete. [06:46] Iyami     Me hasn't been able to     splurge this much in ages. [06:49] Iyami     Me is going to dig right in! [06:57] Iyami     Delicious! The zero-yen cost as the     secret ingredient sure hits the spot. [07:03] Iyami     So good! [07:04] Ichi     Seriously? [07:05] Choro     He's not human... [07:07] Todo     Go home! Please! [07:09] Oso     Don't end up like this in     the future, Karamatsu. [07:11] Kara     Don't end up like this in     the future, Osomatsu. [07:14] Oso     Be careful. [07:15] Kara     You better be careful. [07:16] Ichi     Hey, Jyushimatsu. [07:25] Choro     What's wrong with him? [07:27] Oso     I-Iyami? [07:28] Iyami     Sh-Sheeeh! [07:29] Oso     What's wrong? [07:30] Iyami     My stomach... My stomach! [07:32] Both     Your stomach? [07:33] Iyami     My stomach hurts! Sheeeh! [07:35] Iyami     It's coming out! [07:37] Oso     Hey, you can't be serious! [07:40] Iyami     It's coming out! [07:41] Kara     The bathroom's over there! [07:42] Iyami     It's coming out! [07:44] Jyushi     The bathroom's over there! [07:45] Iyami     It's coming out! [07:46] Choro     What the hell is he doing? [07:47] Iyami     It's coming out! [07:48] Choro     What is this ridiculousness?! [07:48] Iyami     It's coming out! [07:51] Oso     We're telling you the bathroom's over there! [07:53] Iyami     B-But using the bathroom     would be such a waste! [07:55] Oso     Huh? [07:56] Iyami     It's a waste of paper and water! [07:58] Oso     Just hurry up and go, you idiot! [07:59] Oso     It'll be 100 times worse     if you shit yourself! [08:01] Iyami     It's all right. As long as me has this. [08:05] Iyami     Sheeeh! [08:12] Six     Hey! [08:14] Iyami     Surprisingly, me loves cleanliness. [08:19] Iyami     Sheeeh! [08:27] Iyami     This is my special technique: Washeeehlet! [08:30] Iyami     Me took care of business     without spending any money. [08:32] Six     How?! [08:34] Six     What are we going to do with him?! [08:35] Six     At this rate, our house     is going to be destroyed. [08:38] Six     Let's just treat him for the     meal and get him out of here. [08:42] Todo     Here, wipe. [08:43] Iyami     Thank you kindly. [08:45] Jyushi     Hide your front. [08:46] Iyami     Thanks. [08:48] Ichi     Here. [08:50] Iyami     Me gladly accepts. [08:54] Iyami     Sheeeh! So good! [08:56] Iyami     This is much easier to eat than trash. [09:00] Oso     So he was really just trying     to get a meal out of us. [09:03] Kara     Don't end up like this, Osomatsu. [09:05] Oso     Don't be like this, Karamatsu. [09:07] Choro     Iyami. [09:09] Choro     After you eat that, go home. [09:11] Iyami     But of course. [09:13] Choro     I'm serious. [09:14] Iyami     Oh, come now. Even me wouldn't     overstay my welcome. [09:25] Iyami     Me is sorry for all the trouble. [09:27] Kara     Leave after you eat that. [09:29] Iyami     But of course. [09:31] Kara     It's a promise. [09:32] Iyami     Of course! [09:32] Iyami     You know, you six are actually really nice. [09:37] Iyami     Despite saying no, you ended     up feeding me anyway. [09:41] Iyami     That proves you're all pure-hearted. [09:45] Kara     But you're still going home today. [09:47] Kara     Got it? [09:48] Iyami     Of course. [09:52] Jyu     Here, Iyami. [09:54] Iyami     Sheeeh! Are you sure?! [09:56] Jyu     Just once. Since you're here. [09:58] Iyami     Me can feel the love. [10:02] Ichi     Here. Have this. [10:04] Iyami     Oh, you shouldn't have! [10:07] Ichi     It's nothing. [10:08] Iyami     You're so kind! [10:12] Iyami     Everyone! Allow me to     introduce these gentlemen. [10:16] Iyami     These blessed, honorable sextuplets here     are the true saviors of the world! [10:20] Iyami     These godly sextuplets saved my life! [10:23] Iyami     Worship them! Worship them! [10:25] Iyami     Sheeeh! The exalted six are coming through! [10:28] Iyami     They are so bright, me can't see! [10:33] Iyami     This futon's so warm.     Me is so glad to be alive. [10:36] Iyami     Me is blessed. [10:40] Todo     Hey, Iyami. [10:43] Todo     You can stay here forever. [10:45] Iyami     B-But that's... [10:47] Todo     I said it's fine.     Just let us take care of you. [10:51] Iyami     Y-You guys... [10:54] Iyami     Me will follow you six until my death. [10:58] Iyami     And me will repay you for     your kindness one day. [11:05] Todo     Oh, you idiot. [11:06] Choro     I'm not sure why, but I feel like     I'll sleep really well today. [11:09] Jyu     Yup. [11:11] Iyami     Well, everyone, me bids you goodnight     with hopes of a hopeful tomorrow. [11:16] Six     Night. [11:25] Oso     What the hell is this?! [11:27] Five     What? [11:30] Oso     The money's gone, too! [11:32] Oso     That bastard! [11:33] Oso     Hey, Iyami! Where are you?! [11:35] Oso     Come out! [11:37] Iyami     What's the matter? [11:41] Oso     Hey! Why are you wearing my shirt?! [11:45] Iyami     Doesn't it look great on me? [11:46] Oso     Take it off! [11:47] Iyami     This belongs to me. [11:49] Iyami     Social media games are so much fun! [11:52] Todo     That's my smartphone!     No one said you could touch it! [11:56] Todo     Level 520... [11:57] Todo     How much real money did you spend on this?! [11:59] Iyami     Me doesn't remember. [12:03] Oso     You bastard, Iyami! [12:04] Oso     What is your deal?     You said so yourself, didn't you? [12:07] Oso     That you'd follow us until you     die and repay us someday? [12:11] Iyami     Did me say anything like that? [12:13] Six     Yes! [12:14] Iyami     It doesn't matter anymore. [12:17] Iyami     Me almost died yesterday,     and that's why me asked for help. [12:21] Iyami     But now that me has had my fill and lots     of sleep, me is completely better! [12:24] Iyami     Who cares about all of you? [12:26] Jyu     But we helped you! [12:28] Iyami     Oh? Is it really called helping when you're     just looking for something in return? [12:33] Ichi     I knew we should've just abandoned you. [12:36] Iyami     Abandoned? You're such heartless people! [12:42] Six     Iyami... [12:45] Iyami     Stop it! M-M-M-Me is sorry! [12:47] Iyami     Forgive me! [12:50] Iyami     It was just a whim! [12:52] Iyami     Me will never do it again! [12:54] Iyami     Me promises! [12:56] Oso     Stop attacking us while you     say all that, you dumbass! [12:59] Iyami     Sheeeh! [13:00] Iyami     You six grew up living too comfortably!     You're no match for me! [13:04] Iyami     Me is a true pro. [13:07] Oso     Choromatsu! [13:08] Iyami     Me let my guard down... [13:10] Choro     Do it! [13:11] Choro     Even if I have to go with him! [13:13] Choro     Kill him! [13:14] Iyami     N-Now let's not get hasty!     We can talk this out! [13:18] Choro     You're finished, Iyami. [13:23] Kara     It's finally time to meet your maker. [13:25] Kara     You're going to learn that     the world isn't so kind! SIGN    The world isn't so kind!! [13:35] Choro     Huh? [13:36] Todo     Why, you little... You're all talk! SIGN    You're all talk! [13:43] Choro     Huh? [13:44] Jyushi     That's enough, you freeloader! SIGN    You freeloader!! [13:50] Choro     Hey! [13:51] Choro     All the words you're saying are turning into     boomerangs and coming back to stab you! [13:55] Choro     You need to choose your     words wisely, or we're finished! [13:58] Ichi     You pathetic adult who can't     do anything on your own! SIGN    You pathetic adult who can't do anything on your own!! [14:04] Choro     I told you to choose your words wisely! [14:06] Oso     If you don't reflect upon your actions,     you're going to end up alone someday! SIGN    If you don't reflect upon your actions, you're going to end up alone someday! [14:11] Choro     Are you guys stupid?! [14:12] Kara     Piece of shit! [14:13] Todo     Trash! [14:13] Jyushi     Filth! [14:14] Ichi     You're awful! [14:15] Oso     The worst! [14:16] Five     People like you will get     what you deserve someday! SIGN    People like you will get what you deserve someday! [14:22] Choro     What is that?! It's not     even a boomerang anymore! [14:37] Iyami     Huh? What happened? [14:41] Iyami     Me apparently won. Me is so blessed! [14:45] Iyami     Well, thanks for everything. [14:53] Iyami     Of course the person who says     what's right is going to win. [14:56] Iyami     That's how the world works. [14:58] Iyami     Evil should die! SIGN    Evil should die! [15:06] Iyami     Sheh?! [15:16] Iyami     Sheeeh! SIGN    End SIGN    "I Want Some Friends, Jo" [15:31] Chibi     Oh, hey, Hatabou.     Whaddya got on your face there? [15:35] Hata     This is a robbery, jo. [15:36] Chibi     Huh? [15:37] Hata     This is a robbery, jo. [15:39] Hata     Don't try anything funny,     and bring out your friends, jo. [15:44] Chibi     Friends? [15:45] Chibi     What are you even saying with     that toy pistol in your hand? [15:50] Chibi     Huh? [15:55] Chibi     Here. [15:58] Chibi     Don't look so down, you idjit.     You're gonna bring me down, too. [16:07] Chibi     Committing a robbery     because you want friends? [16:09] Chibi     Trying to scare me with this so     I'd bring out my friends, huh... [16:12] Chibi     Are you dumb? [16:17] Chibi     Do you really not have any friends? [16:19] Chibi     You have at least one,     don't you? Think really hard. [16:25] Chibi     Remember your friend! [16:28] Chibi     You have one, right? [16:33] Hata     Nope, jo. [16:34] Chibi     What?! [16:35] Chibi     That hurt! I don't count     as one of your friends?! [16:40] Hata     Everyone is nice, jo.     Everyone talks to me lots. [16:45] Chibi     Right? [16:46] Hata     But... [16:51] Chibi     Well, whatever. You want friends, right? [16:53] Chibi     All right. Then let's go     find you some friends. [16:57] Hata     Jo? [16:58] Chibi     Come on, let's go, you idjit. [17:04] Toto     Don't tear off my scales, my heart is full. [17:08] Crowd     One serving of squid! [17:10] Toto     Love is an illusion. [17:11] Crowd     Fish dried overnight! [17:13] Toto     All people breathe through gills! [17:22] Toto     So jealous... [17:24] Toto     That just slipped out naturally! Scary! [17:26] Chibi     Totoko-chan. [17:30] Toto     Huh? Friends? [17:31] Chibi     Yeah. He says he wants some. [17:34] Toto     Huh... But I don't have any friends, either. [17:38] Chibi     Wait, you don't?! [17:39] Toto     No. I only have enemies. [17:43] Toto     Okay, Hatabou, I'll be your friend. [17:47] Toto     Huh? Wait, he doesn't want that? [17:49] Toto     What's with that reaction, huh? [17:51] Chibi     N-No, no, no, no, no... That's not... [17:54] Toto     Then what's it supposed to mean? [17:55] Chibi     M-Maybe he's being shy... [17:57] Toto     Really?! [17:58] Chibi     Ow, ow, ow, ow! [18:00] Toto     Oh, I know. [18:01] Toto     Want to ask someone else, then? [18:03] ---     Jo? [18:05] Todo     Huh? You want friends? SIGN    Akatsuka Bath [18:10] Todo     Wait. What are friends, anyway? [18:13] Chibi     What?! [18:14] Toto     I see. So "friend" doesn't even exist     in Todomatsu-kun's vocabulary. [18:19] Todo     That's some kind of folktale, right? [18:20] Todo     It's some kind of institution     that existed in the Edo period. [18:23] Chibi     No, you idjit! They exist now, too! [18:25] Todo     What? It still exists? [18:26] Todo     This institution called "friends"? [18:27] Chibi     It's not an institution! [18:28] Toto     Todomatsu-kun, you know a lot     of people, so do you know [18:31] Toto     anyone who might be Hatabou's friend? [18:36] Todo     Honestly, isn't that pretty hard? [18:38] Todo     Becoming Hatabou's friend     seems pretty difficult. [18:41] Chibi     Hey! [18:42] Todo     Well, I'll see if I can find anyone. [18:44] Toto     Thanks. [18:46] Jyu     Huh? Hatabou? [18:48] Jyu     Roger! [18:49] Ichi     Friends? Oh, really? [18:53] Choro     He wants friends? Hatabou? [18:56] Kara     Friend. [18:58] Kara     It has a nice ring to it. Leave it to me! [19:01] Oso     Too tired. Too much work. [19:03] Deka     Friends? Well, they're very important. [19:07] Dayon     I want some, too. [19:14] Ichi     A friend for Hatabou... Who'd be best? [19:18] Toto     Probably someone nice? [19:20] Jyushi     Well, Hatabou is pretty timid. [19:22] Ichi     You really don't have even one? [19:25] Hata     Nope, jo. [19:26] Kara     Can you think of someone     who might be your friend? [19:29] Deka     What kind of person do you consider a friend? [19:34] Dayon     Take your time. [19:37] Todo     Yeah, think it through. [19:43] Hata     No idea, jo. [19:44] Oso     What?! Seriously? [19:46] Oso     How are we supposed to find one, then?     What's wrong with you? [19:52] Group     What's wrong with you? [19:54] Group     Come on, Hatabou. [19:56] Ichi     Where do friends exist, anyway?     This is hard, Hatabou. [20:00] Hata     It is, jo. [20:02] Todo     You know, this is all up to you, Hatabou. [20:05] Todo     Do you want someone cheerful     or someone funny? [20:07] Oso     Or someone to lend you money     when you're in trouble? [20:09] Choro     That's what you want. [20:11] Jyushi     What kind of friend do you want, Hatabou? [20:15] Hata     I don't know, jo. [20:16] Todo     Yeah, it's hard. If we could figure     that out, it'd make things way easier. [20:20] Ichi     Oh, then... [20:22] Ichi     Want to go look for one somewhere tomorrow? [20:24] Jyu     Huh? A friend? [20:25] Ichi     Yeah. [20:26] Hata     That sounds like fun, jo. [20:27] Deka     Or I could make you a robot     friend at my laboratory. [20:32] Hata     Jo? [20:32] Oso     Hey, that's a good idea. [20:35] Kara     Nice one, Dekapan. [20:36] Dayon     I'll help! [20:38] Toto     Wait, you guys. Hatabou doesn't     look too happy about that. [20:44] Oso     We're just kidding, Hatabou. [20:45] Kara     Don't take it seriously. [20:47] Choro     You dummy. [20:55] Six     Come on. [20:57] Six     What's wrong with you, man? [21:03] Chibi     Hey, Hatabou. So, did you find some friends? [21:07] All     Oden! [21:09] All     We were waiting for this! [21:13] Hata     Everyone, thanks for everything today, jo. [21:15] Hata     See you later, jo. [21:17] Ichi     Yeah, see ya later. [21:19] Hata     Bye-bye, jo. [21:20] All     Bye! [21:24] Chibi     Sheesh... Saying he wants friends,     after all we've been through? [21:28] Deka     He might've just gotten a little insecure. [21:31] Choro     Insecure? [21:33] Dayon     An unidentified loneliness. [21:35] Toto     I see... [21:39] Chibi     I guess you six wouldn't understand. [21:46] Chibi     I'm sure you've gotten through to him. [21:48] Chibi     Everything should be okay now. [21:53] Man     It's an emergency!     There's been a bank robbery! [21:57] Hata     Bring it out, jo. [21:59] Hata     A sweet, cute girlfriend with a great     personality who only has eyes for me, jo. [22:07] Hata     Hand over a girlfriend, jo! I'm Hatabou! [22:10] Chibi     This is beyond me, you idjit. [22:12] Chibi     Now, jo! Give me a girlfriend! SIGN    End [22:14] Chibi     You're on your own. SIGN    Next Time on Mr. Osomatsu [23:47] Todo     Flirting, mixers, having     encounters, and using apps. [23:49] Todo     A meeting between a boy and girl...     Talk about troubled times! SIGN    "Osomatsu and Todomatsu" etc. [23:51] Todo     Totty wants to get better at all of that!