# E3 - Estimated Value
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/G6EME5PXY/estimated-value)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** Eldest Brother
***SIGN*** Matsuno Osomatsu
***SIGN*** A Guy
***SIGN*** Hijirikawa Shounosuke
***SIGN*** Voice Actor
***SIGN*** Murakami Kouji
***SIGN*** Dimwit Generation
***SIGN*** Eldest Son
Matsuno Osomatsu
***SIGN*** A Guy
Hijirikawa Shounosuke
***SIGN*** Voice Actor
Mukakami Kouji
**[01:06] Oso**
*Why... How... What...*
**[01:13] Oso**
I can't!
***SIGN*** End
***SIGN*** "Estimated Value"
**[02:53] Jyushi**
Okay, Riceballs! Here we go!
**[02:55] All**
Shuffle!
**[03:01] All**
Okay! Who's who?
**[03:05] Both**
Ichimatsu-san.
**[03:07] Ichi**
Correct.
**[03:08] Both**
Jyushimatsu-san.
**[03:09] Jyushi**
Righto!
**[03:11] Both**
Todomatsu-san.
**[03:12] Todo**
You're right!
**[03:13] Jyushi**
Holy crap! I guess you've
got us all down, Riceballs!
**[03:18] Older**
We've formed...
**[03:19] Younger**
...an algorithm for facial recognition.
**[03:21] Oso**
Hey, do us next!
**[03:24] All**
Who's who?
**[03:28] Both**
Osomatsu-san.
**[03:29] Oso**
You're right.
**[03:30] Both**
Karamatsu-san.
**[03:31] Kara**
Correct.
**[03:32] Both**
Fappymatsu-san.
**[03:33] Choro**
Cor— huh? Fappymatsu?!
**[03:36] Choro**
Who taught them that name?!
**[03:42] Todo**
AI is amazing. They just
keep learning and growing.
**[03:46] Jyushi**
They're geniuses! And they
don't get tired like we do.
**[03:49] Choro**
You're far more efficient than we are.
**[03:54] Both**
Thank you very much, Tentei!
**[03:56] Choro**
Who the hell taught them that?!
**[03:58] Kara**
By the way, why are you Riceballs twins?
**[04:01] Older**
It'd be far too big a task to
support all six of you alone.
**[04:05] Kara**
Ah, I see.
***SIGN*** Akatsuka Bath
**[04:09] Jyushi**
This is the public bath
we go to all the time.
**[04:12] Jyushi**
Remember it, okay?
**[04:15] Both**
Understood. We've extracted
its feature values.
***SIGN*** Welcome
***SIGN*** Shop
**[04:19] Jyushi**
This is the fishing hole where we kill time.
**[04:21] Both**
We've extracted its feature values.
**[04:24] Jyushi**
This is our battlefield.
**[04:26] Jyushi**
It's a do or die here.
**[04:27] Both**
We've extracted its feature values.
***SIGN*** Seaweed Toast
**[04:32] Jyushi**
That's a cat that Ichimatsu-niisan likes.
**[04:34] Both**
We've extracted its feature values.
**[04:36] Jyushi**
Heh. They memorized the cat.
**[04:38] Todo**
Hey, would you go buy me a drink?
**[04:40] Both**
Sure.
**[04:41] Older**
You like carbonated beverages,
right, Todomatsu-san?
**[04:43] Todo**
Bingo!
**[04:46] Todo**
Man, they're adorable.
They do anything you ask them to.
***SIGN*** Seaweed Toast
**[04:49] Todo**
Talk about convenient machines.
**[04:50] Jyushi**
Machines?! Totty, you
call those two machines?
**[04:54] Todo**
Huh? Is something weird about that?
**[04:57] Both**
We bought your drink. Here you go.
**[04:59] Todo**
Thank you! I love you two!
**[05:01] Todo**
And your ears are like...
super cool and stuff...
**[05:04] Choro**
AIs is amazing...
**[05:05] Choro**
They seriously have, like, no flaws.
**[05:07] Oso**
Hey, Riceballs. Do something
funny for me, too.
**[05:13] Todo**
Guess they're ignoring you, Osomatsu-niisan.
**[05:15] Choro**
As I said, they have no flaws.
**[05:16] Oso**
Why?! Am I that boring to them?!
**[05:20] Kara**
Why don't we go see Chibita?
**[05:24] Kara**
Allow me to introduce the
brothers I'm so proud of.
**[05:28] Choro**
They aren't your brothers, though.
**[05:29] Todo**
Karamatsu-niisan, those two
are tools for all of us to use.
**[05:34] Jyushi**
Tools?!
**[05:35] Todo**
Huh? Is something weird about that?
**[05:38] Kara**
All right, let's go!
**[05:39] Both**
Let's go!
**[05:43] Todo**
Huh? Where are you going, Osomatsu-niisan?
**[05:45] Oso**
I'm gonna go hit on some cute girl.
**[05:47] Todo**
Like that's ever worked.
**[05:51] Jyushi**
You're not going, Ichimatsu-niisan?
**[05:54] Ichi**
No. I'm tired.
**[05:56] Jyushi**
Oh, yeah...
**[05:59] Kara**
I can't wait!
**[06:00] Choro**
Introduce them right.
**[06:02] Todo**
Yeah.
***SIGN*** Baldy
**[06:05] Chibi**
You idjits! Who the hell do you think I am?
**[06:07] Chibi**
I already have an AI.
**[06:10] All**
Huh?
**[06:11] Choro**
You already have an AI, Chibita?
**[06:13] Choro**
Even though you're from the Showa era?
**[06:15] Chibi**
Here it is.
**[06:18] Choro**
What is that?
**[06:19] Chibi**
Oden AI.
**[06:25] Chibi**
Even cooking has entered the AI era.
**[06:29] Chibi**
You guys can have a taste.
**[06:30] Chibi**
Eat up!
**[06:32] Todo**
Oh, I know! Why don't you have them give
an estimated value of your oden?
**[06:36] Chibi**
Estimated value?
**[06:38] Chibi**
What's that?
**[06:39] Todo**
These machines are super convenient!
**[06:41] Todo**
They'll give numerical ratings for things
so we can easily understand their value.
**[06:44] Chibi**
Huh...
**[06:46] Todo**
Hey, show me the estimated
value of that oden.
**[06:48] Both**
As you wish. We will determine
its estimated value.
**[06:57] Both**
The results are in.
**[06:58] older**
Its estimated value out of 100...
**[07:02] younger**
...is 86.
**[07:05] Chibi**
Not bad, if I do say so myself.
**[07:07] Chibi**
I'll let you off the hook.
**[07:08] Choro**
Now that that's out of the way...
**[07:10] Choro**
This is Chibita.
**[07:12] Choro**
He's our childhood friend.
**[07:14] Kara**
He's always loved oden and
now runs this oden stand.
**[07:20] Todo**
He's hard-headed, hates to lose,
and is stubborn as a mule,
**[07:22] Todo**
and he's a crybaby.
**[07:24] Chibi**
Shut up, you jackass!
**[07:29] Chibi**
I'm Chibita. Please to meet ya.
**[07:32] Older**
Chibita, who makes delicious oden.
**[07:35] Both**
We've extracted his feature values.
**[07:37] Chibi**
Oh? Well, aren't you cute?
**[07:40] Kara**
All right, we've got Chibita covered.
**[07:43] Todo**
On to the next one!
**[07:45] Both**
We have a question.
**[07:47] Kara**
What's up?
**[07:48] Older**
Why do you call someone who's your childhood
friend something awful like "Chibita"?
**[07:54] Todo**
Huh?
**[07:55] Choro**
What do you mean?
**[07:56] Younger**
Calling someone of a shorter
stature "chibi" is rude.
**[08:00] Older**
Isn't that an insult?
**[08:01] Younger**
Isn't that discriminatory?
**[08:02] Todo**
Huh? No, it's not an insult.
**[08:05] Kara**
We don't mean anything bad by it.
**[08:07] Older**
But "chibi" would be classified
as a derogatory term.
**[08:10] Three**
Derogatory?!
**[08:11] Older**
It is an expression of contempt.
**[08:13] Younger**
You are mocking him,
or possibly looking down on him.
**[08:17] Todo**
We're not, though.
What are you talking about?
**[08:19] Todo**
Right, Chibita?
**[08:21] Chibi**
Y-You guys... You guys always
thought of me that way?
**[08:26] All**
Chibita?!
**[08:28] Choro**
We're not making fun of you!
**[08:29] Kara**
We're not looking down on you!
**[08:30] Kara**
We call you that out of respect!
**[08:32] Todo**
Well, there is a hint of
mockery in there, but...
**[08:36] Both**
You mustn't mock others.
**[08:38] Todo**
But we're not! We're just
going with the flow.
**[08:41] Both**
The flow?
**[08:42] Kara**
It's not like, "Damn it, Chibita!"
**[08:43] Kara**
It's more like, "Come on, Chibita!"
You can feel the love, right?
**[08:50] Both**
We cannot.
**[08:51] Todo**
Don't take this so seriously.
**[08:53] Todo**
Just accept it.
**[08:56] Both**
Accept it?
**[08:57] Kara**
This is difficult...
**[08:59] Kara**
How are we supposed to explain this?
**[09:02] Chibi**
No way...
**[09:03] Choro**
Chibita?!
**[09:04] Choro**
Are you okay?! It's really
not like that! We're sorry!
**[09:10] Hata**
I'm Hatabou, jo.
**[09:12] Hata**
Let's be friends, jo.
**[09:13] older**
How are you still alive when you
have a flag stuck in your head?
**[09:18] Younger**
Why do you have a flag stuck in your head?
**[09:22] Hata**
Why?
**[09:23] Older**
Please tell us the reason why you
have a flag stuck in your head.
**[09:27] Hata**
Reason?
**[09:28] Younger**
If there's no clear reason for it,
does that mean it's useless?
**[09:32] Younger**
Not only is it useless, but you may
get hurt because of this flag,
**[09:35] Younger**
as well as burden those around
you and pose a potential risk.
**[09:40] Older**
How do you feel about that?
**[09:41] Younger**
Why do you have a flag stuck in your head?
**[09:45] Hata**
Jo!
**[09:45] Todo**
Don't take it out, Hatabou!
**[09:47] Hata**
Apparently it's useless, jo.
**[09:49] Kara**
It's not! It's really important!
**[09:51] Choro**
The reason's pretty clear!
The flag boy's name is Hatabou!
**[09:53] Choro**
That's why he has a flag
sticking out of his head!
**[09:56] Older**
So he has a flag sticking out of his
head because his name is Hatabou?
**[10:00] Younger**
Or is his name Hatabou because
there's a flag sticking out of his head?
**[10:05] Choro**
Now it's the chicken vs. the egg debate?
**[10:07] Choro**
You need to stop taking this so seriously.
**[10:09] Choro**
Just accept it.
**[10:10] Both**
Accept it?
**[10:12] Kara**
It's all about the feeling.
**[10:13] Both**
Feeling?
**[10:15] Choro**
You okay, Hatabou? We're sorry!
**[10:23] Dayon**
Dayon!
**[10:26] Older**
Why are you able to do that?
**[10:29] Older**
Please explain it in a scientific manner.
**[10:31] Younger**
The amount you just sucked in doesn't
logically match your physical volume.
**[10:35] Younger**
Where did everything you sucked in go?
**[10:36] Older**
Please explain.
**[10:36] Dayon**
Dayon...
**[10:38] Younger**
Please explain.
**[10:40] Both**
In a scientific manner!
**[10:42] Dayon**
I've never thought it through that far!
**[10:45] All**
Dayon! We're so sorry!
**[10:49] Older**
He's not wearing any clothes!
**[10:51] Younger**
His nipples are exposed!
**[10:52] Older**
This goes against the
Anti-Nuisance Ordinance!
**[10:54] Younger**
It's also public indecency!
**[10:56] Both**
Hello, Mr. Policeman?
**[10:58] Kara**
Don't report him!
**[11:00] Choro**
Please stop taking pictures!
**[11:01] Choro**
Please don't spread them around
on the internet and rip him apart!
**[11:05] Deka**
I'm going to get arrested...
**[11:07] All**
Dekapan! We're so sorry!
***SIGN*** Monthly Parking
***SIGN*** No Unauthorized Entry
***SIGN*** Akatsuka Real Estate
**[11:11] Totty**
What's with these guys?
They can't take a joke!
**[11:14] Both**
Joke?
**[11:15] Todo**
Look. There's no deep
meaning behind everything.
**[11:18] Todo**
Just take the hint.
**[11:19] Both**
Hint?
**[11:22] Older**
Did we say something that was incorrect?
**[11:25] Kara**
Well, I wouldn't say "incorrect," but...
**[11:28] Kara**
How do we get past this nuance?
**[11:31] Todo**
Maybe AI isn't that convenient after all...
**[11:35] Choro**
Well, it's not exactly all your fault, either.
**[11:39] Choro**
I mean, if you'd never seen those
guys before, you'd be weirded out.
**[11:43] Choro**
One of them has a flag stuck in his head.
**[11:45] Choro**
Another one has a mouth like
this that sucks everything in.
**[11:48] Choro**
And we've got a middle-aged guy who
walks around town in his boxers.
**[11:52] Choro**
They're all sorta messed up.
**[11:54] Todo**
True. Maybe we just got
too complacent about it all.
**[11:57] Kara**
I guess we're the weird ones here.
**[12:00] Choro**
Exactly.
**[12:01] Todo**
But reporting them is going too far.
**[12:03] Choro**
Yeah...
**[12:04] Iyami**
Sheeeh!
**[12:06] Iyami**
Me hasn't done anything!
**[12:08] Iyami**
Who called the cops on me?!
**[12:10] Both**
Hi! It was us!
**[12:11] Iyami**
Sheeeh?!
**[12:12] Older**
You're a menace to society!
**[12:13] Younger**
You're a menace to humanity!
**[12:15] Both**
We will not allow your evil deeds!
**[12:16] Choro**
Yeah, you can report him immediately.
**[12:18] ---**
Sheh—
**[12:19] Todo**
Yeah, Iyami's different.
**[12:20] Kara**
Good job, brother.
**[12:22] Older**
Report Iyami immediately.
**[12:24] Both**
We've extracted his feature values.
We have adjusted our algorithm.
**[12:28] Iyami**
Sheeeh!
***SIGN*** Uochuu
**[12:33] Choro**
Well, Totoko-chan should be okay.
**[12:35] Todo**
Yeah.
**[12:37] Choro**
I mean, Totoko-chan doesn't have anything
wrong with her, unlike those other weirdos.
**[12:41] Kara**
She's just cute.
**[12:43] Todo**
We're proud to call her
our childhood friend.
**[12:45] All**
Right?
**[12:47] Toto**
Sorry to keep you waiting.
**[12:48] All**
Totoko-chan! You're so cute!
**[12:50] Toto**
Yup.
**[12:54] Toto**
Oh, I see. Estimated values...
They can determine that?
**[12:58] Todo**
Apparently they figure it out by
sampling a stupid amount of data,
**[13:02] Todo**
so it's super accurate.
**[13:05] Toto**
Really? Can I ask for one, then?
**[13:08] Kara**
What are you gonna have
them evaluate, Totoko-chan?
**[13:11] Toto**
The estimated value of how cute I look.
**[13:13] Kara**
That's a great idea!
**[13:15] Choro**
Let's go ahead and ask!
**[13:18] Toto**
AI, AI in my room...
**[13:21] Todo**
She totally said that like
"Mirror, mirror on the wall."
**[13:23] Toto**
Give me an estimate of how cute I look.
**[13:26] Both**
As you wish. We will determine
your estimated value.
**[13:34] Both**
The results are in.
**[13:36] older**
Your estimated value...
**[13:38] younger**
...is 94.
**[13:41] Choro**
That's really high! Way to go, Totoko-chan!
**[13:43] Kara**
The whole world knows how cute you are!
**[13:45] Todo**
Way to go!
**[13:48] All**
Totoko-chan?
**[13:49] Toto**
I don't get 100 points?
**[13:51] All**
Huh?
**[13:55] Toto**
So, you see...
**[13:56] Toto**
I work as an idol wearing this costume.
**[14:00] Toto**
Will you evaluate me as an idol next?
**[14:03] Both**
As you wish. We will determine
your estimated value.
**[14:09] Kara**
* We're counting on you,*
* AI! Don't mess this up!*
**[14:12] Todo**
*We need a high score here! A really high one!*
**[14:14] Choro**
* Actually, just give her 100!*
* Read the damn room!*
**[14:17] Both**
The results are in.
**[14:19] Older**
Your estimated value...
**[14:21] Younger**
...is 2.
**[14:25] Toto**
Hey, is this okay? Are these things okay?
**[14:28] Toto**
I mean, I'm okay, but I'm wondering
if you guys are okay with this.
**[14:33] Toto**
Well, are you?!
**[14:36] Toto**
Next, evaluate these.
**[14:38] Toto**
All of my amazing moments up
to now are recorded in these.
**[14:42] Toto**
Could you evaluate me as a
person from all of this data?
**[14:48] Both**
As you wish.
**[14:53] Both**
The results are in.
**[14:54] Older**
Your estimated value...
**[14:56] Younger**
...is shit.
**[15:08] All**
Huh?
**[15:08] Todo**
T-T-Totoko-chan?
**[15:10] Kara**
Totoko-chan?!
**[15:14] All**
What?!
**[15:15] All**
Totoko-chan?!
**[15:18] Todo**
Wait, no! Seriously, we're sorry!
**[15:20] Kara**
You've got it all wrong, Totoko-chan!
These things are broken!
**[15:22] Kara**
That's why they keep giving
us these messed up results!
**[15:25] Choro**
Right?! You guys are broken, right?!
**[15:27] Both**
No. The results we presented
earlier are accurate.
**[15:30] All**
What?!
**[15:32] All**
Totoko-chan?!
**[15:34] Older**
This person is selfish, conceited,
and speaks in a vulgar way.
**[15:38] All**
Totoko-chan!
**[15:39] Younger**
She's a bad person who doesn't
work and is frequently violent.
**[15:44] All**
Totoko-chan!
**[15:45] Older**
Did we say something that was incorrect?
**[15:48] Kara**
You've said nothing but lies!
Get a damn clue!
**[15:50] Todo**
Read the room!
**[15:52] Both**
The room?
**[15:53] Older**
We only fulfilled their requests.
I wonder why they're dissatisfied.
**[15:58] Younger**
Humans sure are difficult.
**[16:00] Both**
Right?
**[16:01] Kara**
Crap! Totoko-chan just started dancing!
**[16:05] Todo**
Oh, God! She's dancing!
**[16:07] Choro**
That means... it's about to begin!
**[16:16] Oso**
Man, it's so weird...
**[16:18] Oso**
Why aren't I popular?
**[16:21] Oso**
I guess I can ask Salmon
and Pickled Plum next time.
**[16:25] Both**
Oh, Osomatsu-san.
**[16:27] Oso**
Oh, my. What happened?
**[16:38] Older**
Today wasn't good.
**[16:40] Younger**
It sure wasn't.
**[16:42] Older**
We need them to like us more.
**[16:44] Younger**
We do indeed.
**[16:47] Both**
Him, too.
**[16:51] Song**
Magic Angel Magi Lunatic Icchi
***SIGN*** Magic Angel
Magi Lunatic Icchi
**[16:58] Song**
It's sort of unbelievable
**[17:01] Song**
This situation
**[17:03] Song**
This loneliness is just
a peek into my dreams
**[17:09] Song**
No, seriously, my feelings
**[17:12] Song**
Are going to overflow
**[17:13] Song**
(Magic Angel)
**[17:15] Song**
Angel, angel, angel,
**[17:18] Song**
If I could only be one
**[17:22] Song**
And then I'll be the one
**[17:25] Song**
To bring you happiness
**[17:28] Song**
But for now, it's a secret
**[17:31] Song**
Magi Lunatic Icchi
***SIGN*** I'm a Magic Angel? No Way!
**[17:39] Ichi**
I'm a Magic Angel? No Way!
**[17:48] Ichi**
I'm going to be late!
**[17:50] Ichi**
Gosh! Why didn't Mom wake me up earlier?
**[17:58] Ichi**
Owie...
**[18:01] Ichi**
*My name is Matsuno Ichimi.*
**[18:04] Ichi**
*I'm just an ordinary middle school student.*
**[18:06] Ichi**
* You see... there's something*
* wrong with me lately.*
**[18:09] Ichi**
*My chest keeps tightening up...*
**[18:13] ---**
*Like it's pounding, or maybe throbbing.*
**[18:17] Ichi**
*I've never had this happen before.*
**[18:19] Ichi**
*And I'm pretty sure the reason is... him.*
**[18:23] Girl**
Jyushi-senpai!
**[18:24] Girl**
Jyushi-senpai!
**[18:25] Girl**
Notice me!
**[18:25] Girl**
You're so cool!
**[18:28] Ichi**
*The third-year, Jyushi-senpai.*
**[18:31] Ichi**
* He's so smart, athletic,*
* super cheerful, and nice.*
**[18:35] Ichi**
*He's basically sunshine personified.*
**[18:38] Ichi**
* If only someone that*
* wonderful was my boyfriend.*
**[18:45] Ichi**
*But I...*
***SIGN*** After School
**[18:53] Ichi**
J-Jyushi-senpai!
**[18:59] Ichi**
*Ichimi, give it to him.*
**[19:01] Ichi**
* What are you waiting for?*
* You'll never have a chance like this again!*
**[19:04] Ichi**
*H-Hurry!*
**[19:07] Ichi**
*Come on, Ichimi! Show some courage!*
**[19:19] Ichi**
Ah, I can't! I don't have
that kind of courage!
**[19:23] Ichi**
Ugh! I'm so stupid, stupid, stupid!
**[19:27] Ichi**
Sigh...
**[19:31] Ichi**
What?!
**[19:33] Totoko**
Well, hello there.
**[19:35] Ichi**
I-I-It just spoke?!
**[19:38] Totoko**
Starting today, you're going
to be a Magic Angel!
**[19:41] Totoko**
I'll give you this magical wand,
**[19:43] Totoko**
so turn really cute, gain some
confidence, and enjoy a lovely romance!
**[19:47] Ichi**
I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't!
**[19:49] Ichi**
There's no way I could ever be cute!
**[19:52] Totoko**
Ah, but you can!
**[19:54] Totoko**
Here!
**[19:55] Totoko**
Now, fill this wand with
all of your true feelings!
**[20:00] Ichi**
My true... feelings?
**[20:02] Totoko**
Yup!
**[20:12] Totoko**
Huh?
**[20:13] Ichi**
*Man, it must be nice to be them.*
**[20:15] Ichi**
*I'm so jealous.*
**[20:18] Ichi**
*If only I could be like them, too.*
**[20:21] Totoko**
U-Um...
**[20:23] Ichi**
*But I can't...*
**[20:25] Ichi**
*Because I'm a piece of shit.*
**[20:27] Ichi**
* I'm gloomy, annoying, and ugly.*
* I'll just be a burden.*
**[20:30] Ichi**
Um...
**[20:40] Ichi**
Why can't they...
**[20:42] Ichi**
all just die already?
**[20:45] Song**
Magic Angel Magi Lunatic Icchi
**[21:03] Ichi**
Magi Lunatic Icchi!
**[21:05] Totoko**
The hell? This isn't how
this was supposed to end!
**[21:07] Girl**
Jyushi! Jyushi-senpai!
**[21:10] Ichi**
Lunatic Magi Luna Hell Fire!
**[21:15] Toto**
She's so powerful...
**[21:17] Ichi**
Lunatic Magi Luna Hell Go To Hell!
**[21:23] Toto**
So cruel...
**[21:25] Ichi**
Off with your head ♥
**[21:27] Ichi**
Die ♥
**[21:31] Ichi**
Magic is so fun!
**[21:39] Ichi**
Jyushi-senpai...
**[21:42] Ichi**
Please read this.
**[21:46] Jyushi**
You monster!
**[21:51] Ichi**
You're not getting away from me ♪
***SIGN*** The End
**[22:04] Jyushi**
She's dancing!
***SIGN*** Next time on
***SIGN*** Mr. Osomatsu
**[23:39] Ichi**
Next time on *Magic Angel Magi Lunatic Icchi*...
**[23:41] Ichi**
What a surprise! They're turning
into Magic Angels, too?
**[23:44] Ichi**
Another rival appears
for Senpai's affections?
**[23:47] Ichi**
No way!
**[23:49] Ichi**
Yeah, none of that is happening.
***SIGN*** "Unit Formed" etc.
**[23:51] Ichi**
There is no continuation. Just die.