E25 - Mr. Osomatsu in Hell Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:06] Oso     Well, it's actually not that big of a deal. [00:10] Oso     There's just something     I want to say to you guys. [00:14] All     Huh? [00:16] Iyami     Sheeeh! Treasure hunting! [00:20] Iyami     Treasure hunting by yourself is always best! [00:23] Iyami     Me will be the only one getting rich!     Me will be the only one who's happy! [00:31] Iyami     Sheh! [00:32] Oso     So... I've been thinking... [00:37] Iyami     Sheeeh! [00:41] Iyami     Sheeeh! [00:44] ---     Sheeeh! [02:32] Choro     Huh? [02:33] Choro     Where are we? [02:35] Kara     What is this place? [02:37] Jyu     What happened? [02:39] Todo     No idea. I have no idea, but... [02:42] Todo     We're wearing white robes, right? [02:44] All     Yeah. [02:45] Todo     We have this triangle thing     on our heads, right? [02:47] All     Yeah. [02:48] Todo     And that's a river, right? [02:49] All     Yeah. [02:50] Todo     And the dead are going     across that river, right? [02:53] All     Yeah... [02:54] Todo     We're dead, aren't we? [02:59] Choro     We're dead! [03:00] Jyu     Seriously?! [03:02] Kara     What's going on? How did this happen?! [03:04] Todo     I don't remember a thing! [03:07] Ichi     Yeah, but... there's nothing we can do, right? [03:10] Ichi     Today's the last episode. [03:13] Ichi     It's all over today, anyway. [03:14] All     Ah... [03:16] All     I see! [03:18] Kara     Good point. It's the end,     so all that's left is for us to die. SIGN    "Mr. Osomatsu in Hell" [03:21] Jyu     No wonder we're dead! [03:23] Choro     We're so dead! [03:24] Todo     Done for! [03:25] Ichi     Great work, guys. [03:27] Jyu     Thanks! [03:28] All     Underworld! Underworld, Underworld! [03:30] All     Underworld! Underworld, Underworld! [03:32] All     Underworld! Underworld, Underworld! [03:34] All     Underworld! Underworld, Underworld! [03:36] All     Underworld! Underworld, Underworld! [03:36] Choro     What's wrong? [03:38] All     Underworld... Underworld, Underworld! [03:38] Oso     I just... [03:40] All     Underworld... Underworld, Underworld! [03:40] Oso     have a feeling I've forgotten     something really important. [03:44] Choro     Something important? [03:45] Choro     Oh, yeah. You were about to say     something right before we died... [03:50] Oso     What was it? [03:51] Oso     I can't shake the feeling that I was     supposed to tell you guys something. [03:55] Oso     Um... [04:06] Nya     I didn't hang out with you guys much,     but rest in peace. [04:12] Chibi     Dekapan! [04:13] Chibi     Are those supposed to be     your funeral clothes? [04:15] Deka     They are. [04:20] Choro     So... [04:22] Choro     What's this really important thing? [04:26] Kara     Hey! [04:27] Kara     It looks like we're here. [04:31] Oni     Welcome, souls of the dead! SIGN    Good [04:34] Oni     This is the room of judgment,     where we will decide SIGN    Bad [04:38] Oni     whether you'll go to Heaven [04:41] Oni     or get thrown into Hell! [04:43] Todo     Yup. Got it. [04:44] Oni     Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold it! [04:48] Oni     This is the one who'll decide where you go. [04:52] Oni     The great King Enma! SIGN    Chairman [05:05] Bros     Huh? [05:07] Bros     Wait, what?! [05:09] Bros     Huh? [05:11] Ichi     That's Hijirisawa Shonosuke, isn't it? [05:13] Jyu     Yup. [05:14] Kara     What's going on? [05:16] Enma     I'm King Enma. [05:18] All     Huh? [05:18] Enma     I'm Enma. [05:20] All     Huh?! [05:21] Enma     I've been keepin' an eye on your daily     lives for the sake of this day, [05:26] Enma     observin' to see if y'all were good or bad. [05:32] Enma     But in reality... [05:41] Enma     I'm King Enma. [05:42] All     What?! [05:44] Oso     You are?! [05:45] Todo     That startled me! [05:47] Enma     Okay, I'm gonna judge y'all now. [05:50] Enma     And to Hell y'all go. [05:53] Choro     Wait! That was too fast! SIGN    To Hell [05:57] Todo     That's dangerous! The hell     are you doing, Enma?! [05:59] Ichi     Enma, you jerk! [06:00] Choro     What the hell?! [06:01] Jyu     Don't mess with us! [06:05] Toto     On March 26th, the six of them     unfortunately passed on. [06:10] Toto     Their lifelong career as NEETs     was cut all too short, [06:14] Toto     and they were headed toward recovery,     so this is truly tragic. [06:19] Toto     They were all wonderful people,     and I only have great memories. [06:22] Toto     For example... [06:24] Toto     Uh... For example... [06:27] Toto     Huh? [06:30] Toto     Huh? [06:31] Oso     Why are we being sent to Hell?! [06:34] All     Yeah, yeah! [06:35] Enma     Well, ya ain't goin' to     Heaven! Why would you? [06:38] Oso     There're plenty of reasons!     We've done so many good things! [06:42] All     Yeah, yeah! [06:44] Enma     Fer example? [06:45] Oso     For example? [06:49] Oso     For example, you know... [06:52] Oso     Totty. [06:53] Todo     Hmm? [06:53] Oso     Tell the man. [06:54] Todo     What?! [06:55] Todo     Well, y-you know... For example... [06:59] Todo     Like helping people out? [07:01] Todo     Also, we may or may not have     treated our parents well... [07:04] Todo     I think I've heard rumors of such. [07:07] Enma     Couldja be more specific? [07:08] Todo     Specific? Well, Jyushimatsu-niisan     can tell you all about that. [07:13] Jyu     Huh?! [07:13] Jyu     Uh... Well, anyway, we lived lives     worthy of an eternity in Heaven. [07:19] Enma     Like, how so? [07:21] Jyu     How so, Ichimatsu-niisan? [07:23] Ichi     Huh?! I'm sure Choromatsu-niisan     will tell you. SIGN    Good [07:26] Choro     Wait, wait, wait, wait!     You tell him, Karamatsu-niisan. SIGN    Bad [07:30] Kara     Wow! Tell him, Osomatsu. [07:32] Oso     Huh?! No, you guys tell him! [07:34] Oso     We've done lots of good things! [07:37] Jyu     For example? [07:37] Oso     Huh?! For example... What did we do again? [07:42] Kara     It just so happens I can't remember. [07:44] Choro     Yeah, funny story... [07:45] All     Yup. [07:46] Enma     Y'all done? [07:47] All     Wait! [07:49] Choro     You've got it all wrong! I mean, yeah,     these bastards are bound for Hell, [07:53] Choro     but I deserve to go to Heaven. [07:55] All     Huh?! [07:56] Choro     I mean, I'm so earnest, and I work so hard! [07:59] Choro     So I get to go to Heaven, right? [08:03] Kara     It's me who should go to Heaven! [08:05] Kara     Why is someone as cool and     kind as me going to Hell? [08:09] Kara     Wake up. [08:10] Ichi     You wake up! [08:11] Ichi     I'm the only one who     deserves to go to Heaven, [08:13] Ichi     because I'm the only one who     acknowledges I'm trash. [08:15] Ichi     I'm humble, reserved...     I'm a really good person. [08:19] Todo     How?! [08:20] Todo     King Enma! I don't think     I deserve Heaven at all! [08:20] Oni     Yeah, I think it might take a little longer...     Huh? There's a huge line? [08:23] Todo     Because I'm a terrible person!     I regret everything I've done, so... [08:24] Oni     Yeah, sorry about that. [08:25] Jyushi     Would you stop with that ploy?! [08:29] Jyu     I should go to Heaven! [08:30] Jyu     Because I'm the funniest     and the most popular! Thanks! [08:34] Oso     Shut up! [08:35] Jyu     Boeh! [08:35] Oso     Just hurry up and send me to Heaven! [08:38] Oso     These guys deserve Hell. Because... [08:41] Oso     That's just the man I am. [08:42] Choro     The hell are you talking about?! [08:44] Kara     Brother! Hurry up and go to Hell! [08:46] Ichi     No, you're going to Hell! [08:48] Todo     You shitty NEET! [08:49] Jyu     You're a shitty NEET, too! [08:53] Enma     Hey! [08:55] Enma     So, what'd y'all decide? [08:57] Enma     Point to the person y'all think     should go to Hell when I say so. [09:00] Enma     Here we go. Ready, and... [09:03] Enma     And done. SIGN    To Hell [09:09] Enma     Have a nice time in Hell! [09:18] Chibi     Hey! What're you doing?! SIGN    Matsuno Family Funeral [09:21] Chibi     You guys... [09:23] Both     Wait! [09:28] Toto     What? You're taking them in that truck? [09:31] Dad     We couldn't afford anything else. [09:33] Dad     But this is more than enough     for our idiots, anyway. [09:37] Toto     Probably. [09:41] Mom     Well, see you later. [09:43] Deka     Be careful. [09:45] Dayon     We'll catch up with you later. [09:47] Hata     Bye-bye, jo. [10:06] Toto     Chibita-kun? [10:17] Jyu     Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! [10:17] Choro     Ow! It hurts! It hurts! [10:20] Jyu     The hell are you doing?! [10:22] Todo     Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot! [10:23] Kara     Hot! Hot! [10:25] Todo     Hot, hot! [10:26] Todo     Take that! [10:28] Todo     Hot, hot, hot! [10:37] Oso     Huh? They grew back. [10:39] Lady     Okay, one more time. [10:40] Oso     Huh? [10:52] Jyushi     Bring it! [10:58] Jyushi     One more! [10:59] Both     That's enough! [11:03] Jyu     Not done yet! [11:04] Both     Thank you, we're done. [11:07] Jyu     Not done yet! [11:08] Both     No more! [11:09] Jyu     Not done yet! [11:10] Both     No more! [11:11] Jyu     Not done yet... [11:12] Both     Jyushimatsu... [11:17] Girls     Kara-chun, wait! [11:18] Kara     No! [11:27] Oni     Double riichi. [11:29] Oni     Double riichi. [11:31] Oni     Double riichi. [11:35] All     Ron. Kokushi musou. [11:37] Oso     What?! [11:44] Girl 1     He's so Osomatsu! [11:45] Girl 2     So lame! [11:47] Girl     What is that? [11:48] Girl     He's so small! [11:49] Oso     This really is Hell... [11:52] Guy     All right, I'm now going to read Totty's     essays from middle school. [11:57] Todo     Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! [11:58] Guy     "I Want to Be a Flower,"     by Matsuno Todomatsu. [12:00] Todo     Wait! This is way too Hellish! Wait! [12:02] Guy     "Flowers are beautiful. Flowers are pretty." [12:04] Todo     Wait! [12:06] Guy     "I want to make my own flower     bloom. I will, one day, bloom." [12:09] Todo     There it is! The clause swap! [12:10] Todo     Everyone does it, right? Right? Right? [12:12] guy     "Blooming bathed in sunlight is the flower." [12:14] todo     Ending the sentence with a noun!     It just happens, am I right? Right?! [12:17] guy     "But I don't plan to compete with     the other flowers with my beauty." [12:21] Todo     That's enough, isn't it?! [12:22] Guy     "Because I don't have to be number one." [12:25] Todo     Uh, bad idea, bad idea, bad idea... [12:26] Guy     "Because I'm me, the only one." [12:29] Todo     Yeah, I think I've heard that phrase before! [12:31] Todo     Stuff like that happens... in middle school. [12:34] Guy     Next, we have the high school edition. [12:36] Guy     "The sky I saw on that day..." [12:37] Todo     Seriously, that's enough! [12:41] Ichi     Ow! [12:42] Choro     Hot! [12:47] Ichi     One more time. [12:49] Todo     Wait, why are you on that side? [12:51] Guy     "My Best Friend," by Matsuno Ichimatsu. [12:56] ---     Appirakonpirange! [13:01] Guy     Good job. SIGN    Hell Stamp Card     Go for Reincarnation [13:03] Guy     Just 80 quadrillion, 60 billion years     until your next reincarnation. [13:06] Guy     Keep it up. [13:13] Kara     Hey, look over there. [13:15] Oni     Work! King Enma hates the dark! [13:18] Kara     I thought I hadn't seen them in a while. [13:20] Oni     Put your heart into it and turn! [13:20] Kara     I guess they died, too. [13:22] Todo     So this is where they were. [13:24] Ichi     Hey, over there. [13:28] Ichi     Looks like he died, too. [13:30] Todo     Robots can die? [13:40] Choro     This really is the end. [13:42] Todo     I've had it... [13:43] Kara     I can't... [13:45] Ichi     Good work, guys. [13:47] Jyus     Thanks. [13:50] Iya     Sheeeh! [13:52] Oso     Iyami? [13:54] Iya     Move! The treasure's waiting for me! [13:57] Iya     Me is going treasure hunting! [14:00] Oso     Treasure hunting? [14:06] Oso     I remember! [14:08] Choro     Remember what? [14:08] Oso     You know! The thing I forgot! [14:11] Choro     Finally?! You remember? [14:13] Oso     Yeah! [14:13] Todo     What? [14:13] Kara     What is it? [14:15] Oso     Listen up, guys... [14:22] Oso     We've gone to Hell, so we've     pretty much given up, but... [14:29] Oso     Weren't we all... [14:31] Oso     still virgins? [14:33] Choro     Huh? [14:34] Choro     Er... [14:35] Choro     Um... [14:37] Choro     No, no... [14:38] All     True! [14:39] Choro     No, no, no! [14:39] Kara     That's right! We were still virgins! [14:42] Jyu     And yet we died?! Did we give up? [14:44] Ichi     How stupid... [14:45] Todo     Crap! We have to hurry up and be reborn! [14:48] Choro     Hold it! [14:50] Choro     Weren't you going to tell us something     really important right before we died?! [14:55] Choro     What happened to the     rest of that conversation?! [14:57] Oso     Huh? Say what? [14:58] Choro     Huh?! [14:59] Ichi     Choro-chan, who even cares about     that lame-ass topic right now? [15:03] Ichi     We died as virgins.     That's way more important, isn't it? [15:09] Choro     True! [15:10] Ichi     Right. [15:12] Chibi     Sensei, we can't just give up... [15:16] Hata     It's so lonely, jo! [15:17] Deka     Can't you do something? [15:20] Dayon     Please do something! [15:22] Toto     Please, Sensei! [15:23] Choro     What are we going to do?! [15:25] Choro     I wanna do it now! I wanna go back now! [15:27] Kara     Yeah, but... [15:29] Oso     Ugh! Jeez! [15:30] All     What are we gonna do?! [15:33] All     Do something, Akatsuka-sensei! [15:42] Jyu     Hey, look! [15:53] Todo     Wait, if we climb that,     will we be brought back to life? [15:56] Todo     Seriously?! [15:57] Kara     All right, you virgins!     Time to come back to life! [16:00] All     Yeah! [16:01] Enma     Hang on there. [16:04] Enma     Y'all died. [16:06] Enma     Give it up! [16:10] Choro     Wait, wait, wait, wait! [16:11] Ichi     Let go! [16:12] Jyu     Hurgh! [16:13] Kara     We still... [16:14] Todo     Sensei! [16:15] All     Save us! [16:20] Jyu     What are you laughing at?! [16:22] Ichi     Get a grip, Fujio! [16:23] Kara     Save us, Fujio! [16:24] Choro     You bastard creator! [16:27] Chibi     The hell?! [16:32] Toto     Take that! [16:35] All     What?! [16:41] All     E-Everyone! [16:43] Todo     Why are you here? How?! [16:47] Chibi     You guys still haven't paid your tab. [16:50] Chibi     Who gave you permission to die,     you idjits, damn it?! [16:53] Toto     Honestly! [16:55] Toto     Hurry up and come back to life... [16:57] Toto     and flatter me to death! [16:59] Hata     Friends, jo! [17:02] Deka     It's not over yet! [17:03] Dayon     Don't give up yet, young men! [17:06] Five     Leave this to us, and go! [17:10] Todo     Everyone... Thank you. [17:13] Kara     Let's go! [17:27] Six     We're finished! [17:32] Six     Y-You're... [17:34] Six     Propershitter! [17:37] Todo     Leave this to us. [17:40] Jyu     We can't let them finish you just yet. [17:42] Ichi     We are all one. [17:44] Choro     Give us another chance. [17:48] Kara     We've already got our new song ready. [17:50] Oso     Don't worry. We sextuplets are invincible. [17:54] Oso     Okay... [17:55] Oso     Here we go, guys! [17:58] All     F6! [18:11] All     They're doing it properly! [18:13] Kara     Why are you just standing there?! [18:15] Jyu     Get brought back to life and Seccross! [18:16] All     Yeah! [18:18] Chibi     We're not... [18:19] Toto     ...the only ones on your side! [18:22] Both     Run and don't look back! [18:26] Oso     Sousou! [18:27] Choro     Maikomatsu! [18:29] Todo     Everyone! [18:33] Sane     Brothers! [18:35] Sane     Brothers! [18:38] Six     Sanematsu! [18:39] Jyu     You're dead, too? I guess     I had a feeling you might be! [18:44] Jyu     Nice, Sanematsu! [18:45] Kara     Run! [19:07] Osom     We're not going to let it end... [19:10] All     ...like this! [19:12] Oso     All right! [19:18] Oso     Huh?! What the hell are you doing, Iyami? [19:23] Ichi     Hey, hey, hey! [19:24] Jyu     Iyami! [19:28] Iyami     Sheeeh! It's going to break! [19:31] Kara     Hey! [19:33] Iya     Stay back! Get off! [19:38] Oso     Why, you... [19:39] Iya     Osomatsu! [19:40] Oso     Iyami! [19:50] Iyami     Sheeeh! [19:58] All     Final Propershitter! [20:29] Choro     Wait, what are you going to do?! [20:31] Todo     No way! [20:35] Chibi     Go! [20:37] Six     Stop! [20:45] All     Sheeeh! [21:12] Chibi     What happened? [21:13] Deka     Did they make it? SIGN    Next Life SIGN    Sextuplets [21:32] Oso     We're back! [21:34] All     We're back! [21:36] Dad     W-Welcome back? [21:38] Mom     Welcome back... [21:45] Todo     Our bodies decayed! [21:47] Choro     Shit! I'm on fire! [21:48] Kara     Hot, hot, hot! [21:49] Ichi     Hey, my eyeball fell out. [21:50] Jyu     My dick fell off, too! [21:52] Oso     What was the point in coming back to life?! [21:54] Choro     The hell?! [21:54] Jyu     Crap! My balls fell off, too! [21:56] Oso     Seriously?! [21:57] Kara     What the hell?! SIGN    Iyami's grave [22:04] Iya     Sheeeh! SIGN    End SIGN    End Card Illustration Asano Naoyuki SIGN    See you again someday!! [23:39] Oso     Well, everyone... [23:40] Six     Thank you for watching! [23:45] All     Great job! [23:47] All     Great job, great job, great job! [23:47] Todo     It's over. [23:49] Oso     Yeah, it's over. [23:50] Some     So, what do you wanna do now? [23:52] Choro     What else? Let's get some prostitutes. [23:54] Todo     Prostitutes? [23:55] Oso     Is that where this is going?