E25 - Final Episode
Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:57] Oso
The last episode...
[02:07] Mom
NEETs!
[02:08] Mom
Why are you still in pajamas?
SIGN "Bored"
[02:10] Mom
Get changed already!
[02:11] Dad
All you do is laze around all day!
You need to shape up!
[02:15] Dad
Womp waa womp waa waa.
[02:16] Mom
Womp waa womp waa waa.
[02:17] Dad
Womp waa womp waa waa.
[02:18] Mom
Womp waa womp waa waa.
[02:19] Dad
Womp waa womp waa waa.
[02:19] Mom
Womp waa womp waa waa.
[02:21] Both
A big, long lecture!
[02:25] Mom
Hon, we're not getting through to them.
[02:27] Dad
This is probably why you
can't get any girls.
[02:31] Mom
That did it.
SIGN Matsu
SIGN We are terribly sorry, but we will be closed for a while Management
SIGN Huge Sale
SIGN Tropical Fish
[02:47] Todo
Wha...
SIGN Sorry, but we're currently
Closed
Pachinko Dragon Management
[02:50] Todo
What? Seriously?
SIGN Pachinko Dragon
[02:58] Todo
What's wrong?
SIGN To everyone using our dining area -No outside food allowed -Please do not drink alcohol Please do not stay for long periods of time
[03:01] Jyushi
Guess we can't use the dining area.
[03:04] Todo
What? Why not?
[03:05] Kara
Does that mean we've been banned?
[03:08] Choro
Nah, I don't think they've gone that far,
[03:11] Choro
but they also asked us not to use it.
[03:13] Todo
For real? Did we cause too much trouble?
[03:16] Kara
We might've overstayed our welcome.
[03:20] Oso
What? You guys are here, too?
[03:23] Oso
Huh? What's wrong?
[03:37] Choro
What should we do?
[03:38] Choro
Should we go home?
[03:46] Todo
Maybe I'll get a part-time job.
[03:48] Todo
Repeating this every day is sorta pointless.
[03:50] Todo
What a waste of time.
[03:52] Kara
A part-time job? Like what?
[03:54] Todo
Something easy. One where I can
get tons of money in a short time.
SIGN Pine Part-time Jobs | Top Page
Pine Part-time Jobs
[03:58] Kara
Does something like that exist?
What kind of job is that?
[04:01] Todo
Hm?
[04:03] Kara
Hm?
[04:04] Todo
It's your job to think of that,
Karamatsu-niisan!
[04:07] Kara
Sorry...
[04:09] Kara
Why did I just apologize?
[04:12] Jyushi
I'm gonna get a part-time job, too!
[04:13] Both
Don't bother.
[04:14] Todo
You? Get a part-time job?
[04:17] Kara
What do you even plan on doing?
[04:18] Jyushi
I'll be the ball boy at Meiji Jingu Stadium!
[04:21] Todo
You just want to play baseball.
[04:24] Kara
Jyushimatsu, ball boys can't play in games.
[04:28] Jyushi
I don't need any money!
Could I just be a pinch runner?
[04:30] Kara
Nope.
[04:31] Jyushi
A base coach?
[04:32] Kara
Nope.
[04:33] Jyushi
Defensive replacement! Bullpen catcher!
[04:34] Kara
Nope! Go home!
[04:36] Jyushi
Scorekeeper! Umpire! Beer vendor!
[04:36] Kara
Nope! Nope! Nope!
[04:37] Todo
What about you, Ichimatsu-niisan?
[04:39] Ichi
Nah.
[04:41] Ichi
Just living like this is a part-time job.
[04:44] Todo
Uh, what?
[04:46] Oso
Maybe I'll get a part-time job, too.
[04:48] Choro
Like you actually could!
[04:49] Oso
What? But I can do anything!
[04:51] Oso
I can do anything if I try!
[04:53] Choro
Uh...
[04:54] Ichi
How about working at a
family restaurant, then?
[04:56] Oso
Welcome. How many in your party?
[04:59] Jyushi
A gas station?
[05:00] Oso
This way! This way!
[05:01] Kara
Construction worker.
[05:03] Choro
A bird.
[05:05] Ichi
A gorilla.
[05:07] Jyushi
A frog!
[05:10] Choro
A frog working at a family restaurant.
[05:14] Jyushi
Holy crap! He really can do anything!
[05:16] Choro
Yeah, but that's sorta pointless!
[05:19] Oso
Sparkle Phantom Stream!
[05:22] All
Sparkle, sparkle! Sparkle, sparkle!
[05:24] All
Sparkle, sparkle! Sparkle, sparkle!
[05:24] Choro
Screw you!
[05:27] Ichi
Sparkle Phantom Stream,
but a construction worker.
[05:30] All
Sparkle, sparkle, sparkle,
sparkle, sparkle, sparkle...
[05:46] Kara
Man, I'm bored.
[05:48] Choro
I want to do something.
[05:50] Todo
But I also don't.
[05:53] Oso
I want a change.
[05:54] Kara
But I also don't.
[05:57] Jyushi
I want to go somewhere.
[05:59] Ichi
But I also don't.
[06:01] Todo
I want to take it easy.
[06:03] Choro
We've already had it so easy.
[06:07] Kara
B-Brothers? Why don't we actually seriously
contemplate our futures for once?
[06:11] Kara
Like what we want to do
or how we want to end up?
[06:15] Kara
No jokes. Let's take this seriously.
[06:21] Kara
Well? What do you all want to do?
[06:24] Oso
I want a beer.
[06:25] Jyushi
I want some meat.
[06:26] Ichi
I wanna sleep.
[06:26] Todo
I wanna buy some porn.
[06:28] Choro
Likewise.
[06:29] Kara
I'd pick any of those things, too.
[06:39] Employee
Hey!
[06:46] Oso
He shooed us away.
[06:48] Ichi
That's our fault.
[06:49] Jyushi
Sorry.
[06:50] Todo
We need to find another place.
[06:56] Oso
Oh, I know.
[06:57] Oso
Why don't we go see some cherry blossoms?
[06:59] Oso
They've probably bloomed by now.
[07:00] Todo
Hey, that's a great idea!
[07:02] Jyushi
Let's throw a party! Yeah!
[07:03] Kara
What about the booze and snacks?
[07:05] Ichi
Should we all bring stuff?
[07:06] Ichi
Let's all do that and meet back up.
[07:08] Jyushi
Yay!
[07:10] Kara
And then I'll sing you all a song.
[07:12] Ichi
Don't. You'll kill the cherry blossoms.
[07:16] Todo
Nice. We can finally kill some time.
[07:22] Choro
Uh, yeah. We're gonna go see some
cherry blossoms. Can't wait.
[07:28] Jyushi
Let's go get some booze and snacks!
[07:30] All
Yeah!
[07:31] Oso
Let's meet back up at the park at 6 PM!
[07:33] All
Yeah!
[07:38] Oso
Like I have any money, though...
[07:41] Oso
Come on, someone treat me.
[07:43] Oso
I just want someone to treat
me for the rest of my life.
[07:46] Riceballs
Hello!
[07:48] Shake
I'm Salmon.
[07:49] Ume
I'm Pickled Plum.
[07:50] Both
We're the Riceballs.
[07:51] Both
Thanks for coming to see us today!
[07:53] Ume
Hey, Salmon-kun.
[07:54] Oso
Hey, it's the Riceballs.
[07:55] Shake
What is it, Pickled Plum-kun?
[07:56] Guy
Hey, you suck!
[07:58] Guy
Epic fail!
[08:00] Guy
You call yourselves comedians?
[08:01] Guy
Do something funny!
[08:06] Both
Piss off!
[08:08] Some
Save me!
[08:13] Jyushi
Booze and snacks...
[08:16] Jyushi
I'll just get some from Chibita!
SIGN Hybrid
Oden
[08:19] Jyushi
Chibita!
[08:22] Jyushi
Huh?!
[08:24] Jyushi
Chibita?!
[08:25] Jyushi
Why are you dressed like that?!
[08:28] Chibi
Hey, Broke Bros.
[08:31] Chibi
I've been rollin' in the dough lately,
so I bought some stuff.
[08:34] Jyushi
Wh-What about your oden shop?
[08:37] Jyushi
And the maid thing?
[08:38] Chibi
That's all in the past, you idjit.
[08:41] Chibi
The next big thing's gonna be...
[08:44] Chibi
Cryptocurrency.
[08:46] Jyushi
C-Cryptocurrency? What's that?
[08:48] Chibi
It's basically imaginary money.
There ain't no money in the real world.
[08:53] Chibi
So you just imagine it in your mind!
[08:56] Chibi
I've got money! More and more of it!
[08:58] Chibi
And since it's imaginary, you just imagine
that you you keep getting money.
[09:04] Jyushi
But you actually haven't gotten
any more money, right?
[09:06] Chibi
That doesn't matter. It's imaginary.
[09:08] Jyushi
I see!
[09:09] Chibi
I've got savings for eternity!
[09:11] Jyushi
Sheer genius!
[09:12] Chibi
Jyushimatsu! You get into
cryptocurrency, too!
[09:15] Jyushi
Aye!
[09:20] Chibi
More! You need to imagine harder,
or you won't get any money!
[09:26] Chibi
Well? Can you see the money?
[09:28] Jyushi
I can't!
[09:29] Chibi
Imagine harder!
[09:48] Kara
How strange.
[09:49] Kara
A hot guy like me is clearly bored,
but no one's talking to me.
[09:54] Kara
What's going on?
[09:55] Kara
Why aren't you popular,
Karamatsu? How bizarre.
[10:01] Kara
What a big machine.
[10:04] Kara
That's exactly what I'm lacking right now.
[10:06] Kara
But I don't have any money.
[10:08] Kara
What are you going to do, Karamatsu?
[10:10] Kara
Find a real job? A part-time one?
[10:13] Kara
I guess I could always try crowdfunding.
[10:16] Kara
But doing things the old-fashioned
way isn't fit for a star.
[10:19] Kara
I'm gonna turn the tables!
SIGN Lotto
[10:36] Truck
Backing up. Please be careful.
[10:41] Ichi
Where am I supposed to be?
[10:44] Ichi
Uh, I don't even smoke.
[10:47] Lady
He's creepy.
SIGN Construction
50m Ahead
SIGN Akatsuka Moving Company
[10:51] Ichi
Maybe I should just go home.
SIGN Daiginjo Sakura 11,250 yen (tax included)
[11:09] Hata
Jo... jo, jo, jo...
[11:11] Todo
Huh?! Hatabou?!
[11:13] Todo
You're so tiny! But your flag's huge!
[11:15] Todo
What happened? You okay?
[11:17] Hata
My flag sucks up nutrients, jo.
[11:19] Todo
Your flag sucks up nutrients?
[11:21] Todo
Oh, no! Let's just yank it out!
[11:23] Hata
Jo.
[11:36] Todo
It's no use. I can't pull it out.
[11:38] Todo
Maybe I should try pushing instead.
[11:42] Todo
Hey, you're back to normal.
Guess that was the right answer.
[11:45] Todo
Ready, and...
[11:51] Todo
What?!
[11:53] Todo
Why the hell?!
[11:54] Todo
H-H-Hatabou! Stop!
SIGN Akatsuka Driving School
[11:59] Kara
Oh? Totoko-chan?
SIGN Spring Driving Safety Campaign
SIGN Akatsuka Driving School
[12:02] Kara
You're going to driving school?
[12:04] Toto
Yeah. I figured it'd be
convenient to have a license.
[12:07] Toto
So I'm just gonna go do that!
[12:09] Kara
Sounds cool.
[12:11] Toto
I'm a much better driver now.
[12:13] Toto
Wanna see?
[12:14] Kara
Yeah, I sure do!
[12:18] Kara
You've got this, Totoko-chan!
[12:21] Kara
Ignition.
[12:25] Toto
I'm going to turn right.
[12:28] Guy
Look out!
SIGN Akatsuka Driving School
[12:32] Toto
I'm going to make a sharp turn now.
[12:40] Guy
Wait, stop!
[12:42] Guy
Yowai-san!
[12:44] Guy
Yowai-san!
[12:45] Guy
Yowai-san?!
[12:47] Guy
Yowai-san!
[12:50] Kara
Look at those skills.
Way to go, Totoko-chan!
[12:58] Kara
Driver's permition.
SIGN You free today?
SIGN You have that chicken sandwich with the lemony tartar yet?
SIGN Let's eat some meat
[13:11] Todo
It doesn't matter how old I get.
I still keep looking...
[13:15] Todo
for Laputa.
[13:19] Todo
A part-time job, huh?
[13:20] Todo
Hey, Totty, hey.
[13:23] Todo
Why not seriously look for once?
What do you want to do?
[13:31] Todo
Huh?!
[13:34] Todo
Wh-When did that happen?!
[13:51] Jyushi
Huh? What was I supposed to be doing again?
[13:59] Oso
Isn't it amazing? I actually
did what I said I'd do.
[14:02] Oso
Way to go, Big Bro! You're the best!
[14:08] Oso
Wait, you can't drink that now.
[14:11] Oso
No, don't.
[14:15] Oso
Hey!
[14:18] Oso
Hey, Osomatsu!
[14:22] Oso
And down the hatch.
[14:26] Oso
Huh? Iyami?
[14:27] Iyami
Anyone want any vaccines?
SIGN Vaccines
[14:30] Oso
Vaccines? Seriously?
[14:32] Oso
Why do you have vaccines?
[14:34] Iyami
Me made them.
[14:35] Oso
Huh?!
SIGN Vaccine
[14:36] Oso
Yikes, that looks shady...
[14:39] Iyami
It's been approved by the WHO.
[14:41] Oso
Says you.
[14:42] Iyami
The director gives his seal of approval.
[14:44] Oso
Says you.
SIGN 1 bottle 30 yen
[14:45] Iyami
Want one? Me will give you a discount.
[14:48] Oso
Nope.
[14:49] Iyami
What?! No?!
[14:52] Iyami
You must be scared.
[14:54] Iyami
That makes me sad. Where'd your
soul as a comedic character go?
[14:58] Iyami
You call yourself a Showa era character?
An Akatsuka character?
[15:01] Iyami
Aw, you softened up so much. Okay, that's fine.
[15:05] Iyami
So me can take this as you giving up
the show mantle and the Akatsuka pride?
SIGN Osomatsu! The Osomatsu!
[15:15] Iyami
Values himself over his comedy!
[15:16] Iyami
He won't drink it! He's not diving right in!
[15:18] Iyami
Is that what you're saying?! Huh?!
SIGN Vaccine
[15:36] Iyami
Thank you, come again.
[15:58] Iyami
Sh-Sheeeh!
[16:01] Iyami
Sheeeh!
[16:10] Deka
Hoehtora!
[16:11] Dayon
Dayontora!
[16:12] Both
Space people!
[16:15] Deka
Hoehtora!
[16:16] Dayon
Dayontora!
[16:18] Both
Space people!
[16:20] Ichi
What are you doing?
[16:21] Both
We're calling a UFO.
[16:23] Ichi
Huh?
[16:24] Deka
Hoehtora!
[16:25] Dayon
Dayontora!
[16:27] Both
Space people!
[16:28] Ichi
Whoa, they actually came.
[16:29] Dayon
Yay! We did it!
[16:39] Deka
Hoehtora!
[16:40] Dayon
Dayontora!
[16:41] Both
Space people!
[16:46] Deka
Hoehtora!
[16:47] Dayon
Dayontora!
[16:50] Deka
Hoehtora!
[16:52] Dayon
Dayontora!
[17:02] Deka
Hoehtora!
[17:03] Dayon
Dayontora!
[17:06] Deka
Hoehtora!
[17:07] Ichi
Ichitora!
[17:08] Dayon
Dayontora!
SIGN Used Car Dealership
[18:00] Choro
They're in full bloom!
[18:15] Choro
I wonder where they are.
Maybe they're not here yet.
[18:22] Guy
Oh, that's not true!
[18:49] (Flashback) Toto
Wait! You're going home, Choromatsu-kun?
[18:52] (Flashback) Toto
Why?
[18:54] (Flashback) Choro
If they show up, could you
tell them I went home?
[18:59] (Flashback) Choro
I'm just not up to it.
SIGN Akatsuka Bath
[19:21] Choro
Wha?!
[19:27] Choro
Huh?
[19:50] Choro
Hey, why are you here?
What happened to the flower viewing?
[19:53] Todo
I mean, I sorta went...
[19:55] Jyushi
It's just...
[19:56] Choro
Huh?
[20:01] Choro
Huh?!
[20:02] Ichi
Well, you didn't go, either. Why?
[20:06] Ichi
What?
[20:12] Oso
Let's go again sometime.
[20:15] Oso
It's fine. We can go
whenever we feel like it.
[20:22] Kara
Well, yeah.
[20:23] Todo
Well, yeah.
[20:24] Choro
This was your bright idea to begin with.
[20:27] Oso
Wait, it was?
[20:28] Choro
Seriously. You never follow through.
[20:32] Todo
Did you all get the booze and snacks ready?
[20:35] All
No.
[20:36] Todo
Jerks.
[20:37] Todo
God, you're worthless.
[20:38] Oso
I got some! But I drank it!
[20:41] Kara
Why did you drink it?
[20:42] jyushi
So you got us stuff, Totty?
[20:44] Todo
Like hell I did!
[20:45] Jyushi
What?!
[20:46] Todo
Why would I?!
[20:47] Jyushi
Do something for once!
[20:48] Todo
You're all supposed to do that for me!
[21:10] Choro
Well, at least we were able
to kill some time again today.
[21:13] All
Yeah.
[21:16] Six
Sigh...
[21:18] Six
I wonder when something good will happen...
SIGN Akatsuka Bath
[21:24] Ichi
Man, I'm starving.
[21:27] Ichi
I wonder what's for dinner tonight.
[21:29] Oso
Wanna play some mahjong after food?
[21:31] Jyushi
Good idea! Let's invite the Riceballs.
[21:33] Kara
Oh, yeah. Totoko-chan is
getting her driver's license.
[21:37] Oso
Wait, really? I'm gonna
get a ride from her first.
[21:40] Choro
Nyaa-chan's baby is so much bigger now.
[21:43] Todo
Hatabou's bigger now, too.
[21:45] Jyushi
As for me... I got into cryptocurrency.
[21:49] Kara
Huh?
[21:50] Ichi
I saw a UFO.
[21:52] Choro
Huh?
[21:53] Todo
Hey! Hey! Who the hell farted?!
[21:56] Some
God, that stinks!
SIGN End
SIGN Ending Card Illustration: Abiko Eiji
[23:34] Oso
You guys made it through
another season! Ready, and...
[23:37] All
Thank you very much!
[23:40] Oso
We hope to see you all
again someday! That's a wrap!
SIGN See you again someday!
[23:45] Some
Good work, guys!
[23:46] Some
We're done!
[23:48] Todo
That was fun!
[23:49] Ichi
See you later.
[23:49] Jyushi
Bye, now! Bye-bye!
[23:50] Some
Great job!
[23:50] Kara
Good worknition.
[23:51] Some
Let's do this again!
[23:51] Some
Yeah, let's!