# E23 - Kerosene / Dayon Tribe
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/G6MGP3926/kerosene--dayon-tribe)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** "Kerosene"
**[01:43] Oso**
Thanks.
**[02:53] Oso**
*Hey, go.*
**[02:56] Oso**
*Someone go. You heard it go off, didn't you?*
**[02:59] Ichi**
* The kerosene ran out.*
* You guys realize that, don't you?*
**[03:02] Choro**
*Come on, now. This is just a waste of time.*
**[03:04] Choro**
*Someone's going to have to go eventually.*
**[03:07] Todo**
* Man, we're NEETs and you guys*
* hate doing even this much work?*
**[03:11] Todo**
*You really are failures as humans.*
**[03:13] Oso**
*You scumbags, hurry up and go.*
**[03:14] Ichi**
*Are you all children? Hurry and go.*
**[03:16] Choro**
*Go.*
**[03:17] Todo**
*Come on, go!*
**[03:19] Four**
*Hurry up!*
**[03:21] Kara**
*Wait, why me?! That's messed up!*
**[03:24] Kara**
*Stop looking at me!*
**[03:25] Kara**
* I mean, I filled it up yesterday*
* and the day before that.*
**[03:28] Kara**
*I'm not doing it today.*
**[03:31] Kara**
*I had been doing it because I care for all of you.*
**[03:34] Kara**
* But then I realized that*
* too much love ruins a person.*
**[03:37] Kara**
*It's important to also let them go at times.*
**[03:39] Kara**
*Brothers, for the sake of love,*
**[03:42] Kara**
* tonight I'm expressing all of my love*
* by not refilling the kerosene.*
**[03:45] Kara**
Ow! Hot!
**[03:47] Todo**
Oh, sorry.
**[03:49] Kara**
* Brother! Even if you do something*
* like that, I'm not moving a step.*
**[03:54] Oso**
* What the hell? He's being*
* more stubborn than usual..*
**[03:57] Ichi**
*This screws up my calculations.*
**[04:02] Oso**
* J-Jyushimatsu's actually*
* asleep at a time like this.*
**[04:06] Oso**
*He's automatically out of the running. No fair!*
**[04:09] Choro**
*Wait, just how cold is he?*
**[04:10] Choro**
* I didn't even think he understood*
* "cold" since he's so stupid.*
**[04:14] Todo**
*H-Hey, guys... Ichimatsu-niisan is...*
**[04:18] Todo**
*...pretending to be asleep!*
**[04:21] Choro**
*That dirty bastard! He's copying Jyushimatsu!*
**[04:24] Choro**
*He's trying to put himself out of the running.*
**[04:26] Todo**
*You fiend! You vile villain!*
**[04:29] Oso**
*It's not gonna be that easy, Ichimatsu.*
**[04:33] Oso**
*You're awake, aren't you? Huh?*
**[04:35] Oso**
*You're awake, aren't you?*
**[04:36] Oso**
*You're awake, aren't you? Hey!*
**[04:39] Chohro**
*Ew! It came out his mouth!*
**[04:41] Oso**
*Ichimatsu! Ichimatsu?*
**[04:43] Oso**
*Hey, Ichimatsu! Ichimatsu, hey!*
**[04:47] Oso**
*Ichimatsu! Ichimatsu! Ichimatsu!*
**[04:49] Choro**
*Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey...*
**[04:52] Oso**
*Ichimatsu?! Ichimatsu-chan?!*
**[04:55] Choro**
*Wait, he's gonna die, die, die! He's gonna die!*
**[04:57] Choro**
* At this rate, it'd be easier to just*
* go fill the kerosene, Ichimatsu!*
**[05:06] Choro**
*Are you kidding me?! His tenacity is amazing!*
**[05:09] Oso**
*Not bad, little brother.*
**[05:11] Oso**
*Huh? What?*
**[05:12] Oso**
*C-Crap! I suddenly need to pee, now of all times!*
**[05:17] Todo**
*It's finally happening.*
**[05:20] Oso**
*That asshole! The tea!*
**[05:22] Oso**
*I get it now. I thought you were being oddly nice,*
**[05:25] Oso**
*but it was a trap set over a long span of time!*
**[05:29] Choro**
* Well done, Totty. Now he's gotta*
* stand up to go to the bathroom.*
**[05:32] Choro**
* That'll automatically put the responsibility*
* to fill up the kerosene into effect.*
**[05:36] Choro**
*However...*
**[05:42] Todo**
*Ow, ow, ow! Hey, hey, hey!*
**[05:44] Choro**
*Yes...*
**[05:45] Choro**
*It's faster to kill you than wait for him to pee.*
**[05:50] Todo**
*Ow! Hey! Ow, ow, ow, ow!*
**[05:53] Todo**
* Wait, so this is the result?!*
* These assholes resort to violence again?!*
**[05:56] Todo**
* What was the point of the battle*
* of wits up to now, you scum?!*
**[06:06] Todo**
*No way in hell!*
**[06:08] Todo**
* Even if my legs become mincemeat,*
* I'm not going to refill the kerosene!*
**[06:13] Todo**
*Just you watch!*
**[06:18] Oso**
*Silly youngest brother.*
**[06:20] Ichi**
*Making us go through all that...*
**[06:21] Choro**
*You should've gone in the first place.*
**[06:23] Kara**
*Sorry, Totty.*
**[06:26] Todo**
Guys, I'm gonna air things out a bit.
**[06:29] All**
*Huh?*
**[06:32] All**
*What?!*
**[06:35] Todo**
*You can all die! This is a war of attrition!*
**[06:38] Oso**
*Just how eccentric is he?! Is he stupid?!*
**[06:40] Ichi**
*I've been telling you all this time!*
**[06:41] Ichi**
*The most dangerous one of us is Todomatsu!*
**[06:44] Kara**
*Totty!*
**[06:45] Choro**
*Wait, what is happening right now?!*
**[06:47] Choro**
* We want to put kerosene in*
* to warm up the room, right?!*
**[06:49] Choro**
*Why the hell are we in a blizzard right now?!*
**[06:51] Todo**
*It's cold! I'm gonna die!*
**[07:01] Oso**
*Huh? Wait, what was that?*
**[07:03] Oso**
*Did Jyushimatsu close it?*
**[07:05] Choro**
*Seriously? Has he...*
**[07:07] Ichi**
*...been...*
**[07:09] Five**
*...awake this whole time?*
**[07:11] Oso**
* No, no, no, he would never*
* do something so evil...*
**[07:14] Ichi**
*He's not smart enough to do that.*
**[07:16] Kara**
*If he was awake all this time,*
**[07:17] Kara**
*it would mean he's been putting on an act*
**[07:19] Kara**
*so he wouldn't have to refill the kerosene.*
**[07:21] Todo**
*It's not possible. Not Jyushimatsu-niisan.*
**[07:24] Choro**
* Well, just go and check, Ichimatsu.*
* Go see if he's asleep.*
**[07:27] Ichi**
*Righto.*
**[07:33] Choro**
*Well? He's asleep, right?*
**[07:36] Ichi**
*No, he's totally awake.*
**[07:38] Four**
*What?!*
**[07:40] Four**
*Scary!*
**[07:42] Choro**
*What?! I can't believe in anything anymore!*
**[07:44] Todo**
* So he's going to stay in that position*
* until someone refills the kerosene?*
**[07:48] Todo**
*That back is a waiting back?*
**[07:50] Oso**
* What the hell is a "waiting back"?!*
* Is this a horror movie?!*
**[07:54] Jyu**
Hey, guys.
**[07:55] Five**
*He spoke!*
**[07:58] Jyu**
The heater's out of kerosene.
**[08:03] Five**
*He actually said it!*
**[08:05] Oso**
*He just went and said it!*
**[08:06] Todo**
*After all of our trouble to not actually say it!*
**[08:10] Choro**
* And he went to sleep! He just escaped*
* after leaving that troublesome remark!*
**[08:14] Kara**
* Just how much of a selfish*
* boy are you, Jyushimatsu?!*
**[08:17] Ichi**
*Die, you dumbass!*
**[08:19] Jyu**
Ugh.
**[08:21] Jyu**
I said the kerosene's out.
You guys are cold, aren't you?
**[08:27] Oso**
*Huh? Is he actually going to fill it himself?*
**[08:30] Ichi**
*No, wait...*
**[08:32] Ichi**
*Hey, bring the kerosene tank, Jyushimatsu!*
**[08:34] Ichi**
*Jyushima—*
**[08:37] Five**
*Huh?*
**[08:38] Five**
*What?!*
**[08:40] Jyu**
Ah, so warm.
**[08:43] Ichi**
*Wait, why?!*
**[08:44] Ichi**
*Why did you just get yourself hot soup?!*
**[08:46] Oso**
* You should have refilled the*
* kerosene while you were out!*
**[08:51] Jyu**
So good!
**[08:53] Todo**
*And he went back to sleep! He escaped again?!*
**[08:55] Kara**
*Jyushimatsu!*
**[08:58] Jyu**
Oh, yeah.
**[09:01] Jyu**
I *said*, the kerosene's out, Choromatsu-niisan.
**[09:08] Choro**
*Wh-Why?! Why did you appoint me?!*
**[09:12] Choro**
* Now I have no choice but to refill it!*
* What do you have against me?*
**[09:16] Choro**
*What did I ever do to you, Jyushimatsu?!*
**[09:21] Jyu**
Ugh, it's so friggin' cold.
**[09:22] Osotodo**
Yay! Yay!
**[09:23] Choro**
*Jyushimatsu!*
***SIGN*** End
***SIGN*** "Dayon Tribe"
**[09:30] Choro**
Damn it all, Jyushimatsu!
Why did you appoint me?
**[09:35] Choo**
And we didn't even have
any kerosene at the house.
**[09:37] Choro**
Jeez, where is the gas station anywa—
***SIGN*** Akatsuka Pub
**[09:45] Oso**
You can't be serious, Choromatsu!
**[09:48] Oso**
How long does it take to buy some kerosene?
***SIGN*** Akatsuka Pub
**[09:53] Oso**
Oh?
**[09:55] Kara**
Cold! Oh, cold!
***SIGN*** Akatsuka Pub
**[10:02] Jyu**
Where's the kerosene?
**[10:05] Jyu**
Hey, where's the kerosene? Kerosene!
**[10:06] Ichi**
C-Calm down. Shittymatsu's out getting it...
**[10:14] Choro**
This warms me up.
**[10:17] Kara**
My body feels so warm.
**[10:18] Oso**
The alcohol you drink while leaving your
little brothers freezing at home is the best!
**[10:36] Jyu**
It's cold!
**[10:39] Ichi**
D-Don't kill me!
**[10:48] Choro**
Oh, we fell asleep.
**[10:51] Choro**
Hey, you two. We should get home.
**[10:56] Choro**
Huh? Huh?!
**[11:00] Choro**
What is this?! What?!
**[11:01] Choro**
What the heck? Where are we?
**[11:03] Choro**
Hey! Hey, I said!
**[11:06] Oso**
It's just a dream.
**[11:07] Kra**
Just a dream.
**[11:08] Choo**
No, no, no. This isn't the time to mess around!
**[11:10] Choro**
This really isn't good! Where the hell are we?
**[11:13] Choro**
Ow, ow, ow!
**[11:15] Choro**
That hurts!
**[11:17] Choro**
What are you doing?!
**[11:18] Oso**
It hurts? Guess it's not a dream, then.
**[11:21] Choro**
Do that to your own cheek, please!
**[11:23] Kara**
Since it's not a dream...
**[11:25] Kara**
What did you do, Choromatsu?
**[11:27] Choro**
Hey, there's no way I could've...
**[11:30] Oso**
You still can't hold your liquor, I see.
**[11:35] Kara**
Hey, isn't that...
**[11:36] Oso**
Oh, excuse me.
**[11:38] Choro**
Hey, wait—
**[11:40] Oso**
It should be this way.
**[11:41] Kara**
Help!
**[11:49] Oso**
Wh-What the hell is this?
**[11:51] Oso**
Huh?! What?!
**[11:53] Kara**
Th-They're all Dayon!
**[11:56] Kara**
Just how many are there?
**[12:13] Oso**
Wh-What should we do?
**[12:15] Kara**
Why are you asking me?
**[12:16] Kara**
Are you all right, Choromatsu—
**[12:58] Kara**
This always happens!
**[13:00] Oso**
What the hell?! Why do we
have to go through this?
**[13:03] Kara**
Let's just get to the exit!
**[13:08] Kara**
Are you okay, Choromatsu?
**[13:09] Kara**
I'll save you, Choromatsu!
**[13:11] Choro**
Then stop, Shittymatsu!
**[13:29] Todo**
Those assholes! How long does
it take to buy kerosene?!
**[13:33] Ichi**
I'll kill 'em.
**[13:34] Jyu**
Kill 'em!
**[13:39] Todo**
Dayon?
**[13:41] Todo**
Hey, have you seen the shitbags from our house?
**[13:45] Todo**
Hey, hello? Dayon, come on...
**[14:03] Three**
What?!
**[14:04] Three**
Yay!
**[14:07] Three**
Yahoo!
**[14:10] Jyu**
Boehh!
**[14:12] Todo**
Ow, ow, ow...
**[14:14] Todo**
Huh?! Wh-Where are we?!
**[14:17] Ichi**
We got sucked in.
**[14:19] Todo**
So we're inside Dayon?!
**[14:20] Todo**
Huh?! Gross!
**[14:23] Jyu**
It's warm in here! Yay!
**[14:26] Jyu**
I two-seam to be alive again!
**[14:27] Jyu**
Thank you, homerun king!
**[14:29] Jyu**
Sorry to make you worry, and then...
**[14:31] Jyu**
Boehh! And then...
**[14:34] Jyu**
Muscle, muscle! Hustle, hustle!
**[14:39] Todo**
Anyway, let's look for a way out.
**[14:42] Jyu**
Wow, there's a lot of stuff in here.
**[14:46] Jyu**
Even a bat.
**[14:47] Todo**
Hey, I don't think you should touch that.
**[14:48] Todo**
You too, Ichimatsu-niisan!
**[14:50] Todo**
You don't need to try to collect
all of the cats in the world!
**[14:54] Jyu**
Hey, isn't this...
**[14:56] Todo**
It's Choromatsu-niisan's!
**[14:57] Ichi**
That's it! The same thing
must have happened to them.
**[15:00] Ichi**
So they're probably still in here somewhere.
**[15:08] Todo**
Hold it!
**[15:11] Todo**
Why don't the three of us go outside first?
**[15:13] Todo**
I mean, just for a second.
Of course, we'll come and save them.
**[15:17] Todo**
But why don't we go outside for a sec and
figure out how we're gonna save them first?
**[15:25] Ichi**
Todomatsu.
**[15:26] Jyu**
Todomatsu.
**[15:29] Ichi**
Yeah, let's do that.
**[15:30] Jyu**
Huh?!
**[15:33] Dayon**
I'm drunk!
**[15:36] Dayo**
I can't walk straight!
**[15:45] Three**
Yahoo!
**[16:14] Todo**
What?! What the hell is this?
**[16:25] Todo**
Chorofappyski!
**[16:34] Todo**
What? What? What?!
**[16:36] Todo**
What are you doing?! Why are you fitting in?
**[16:39] Todo**
A wedding? What's going on?!
**[16:40] Oso**
Todomatsu, calm down, dayon.
**[16:42] Todo**
You guys, too?!
**[16:43] Oso**
Everyone in this land is good, dayon.
**[16:46] Kara**
Don't be so wary, yon.
**[16:47] Todo**
Don't add "yon" to everything! It's infuriating!
**[16:51] Choro**
She... saved me.
**[16:56] Choro**
That moment, when I was about to die
from fear and drunkenness, she...
***SIGN*** Stomach Medicine
**[17:07] Oso**
Right. They have everything here, yon.
**[17:11] Oso**
Food that Dayon sucked in,
**[17:13] Oso**
as well as appliances, plants, porn DVDs,
and automatic mahjong tables,
**[17:18] Oso**
not to mention everything is free,
so we want for nothing, yon.
**[17:21] Oso**
And above all, we can stay NEETs
and no one gets mad, yon.
**[17:25] Oso**
At first, we didn't understand why, yon.
**[17:28] Oso**
But then we realized, dayon.
It's because everyone's the same, dayon.
**[17:32] Oso**
Yes, our faces, language, status...
**[17:34] Oso**
The endless calm and ease
that are born from that...
**[17:37] Oso**
That's what the Dayon Tribe is all about, yon.
**[17:41] Oso**
So we decided to live here forever, dayon.
**[17:44] Todo**
Are you stupid?! Why are you so stupid?!
**[17:47] Jyu**
Huh? This feels... Huh?
**[17:52] Ichi**
You're right...
**[17:53] Ichi**
Huh? Huh?
**[17:55] Choro**
Come on, we're going home.
**[17:57] Choro**
Dayon, dayon...
**[17:58] Todo**
No! There's no way you can live here!
**[18:01] Todo**
Mom and Dad will be worried.
**[18:04] Choro**
But everyone's so nice, dayon.
**[18:06] Todo**
Yeah, I get that they're nice. But it's not possible.
**[18:10] Choro**
Why, dayon?
**[18:11] Todo**
Why?! Do I really need to give a reason?!
**[18:13] Todo**
Don't you have a general idea?!
**[18:15] Todo**
Of course you can't live here!
**[18:16] Todo**
You two!
**[18:17] Todo**
Stop with the sexual harassment
and help me! Come on!
**[18:21] Jyu**
It stretches.
**[18:23] Ichi**
It stretches.
**[18:24] Kara**
Wait, that doesn't stretch! It doesn't stretch!
**[18:28] Todo**
Come on, Choromatsu-niisan.
**[18:29] Cho**
Nope, dayon.
**[18:30] Todo**
Come on.
**[18:31] Choro**
Nope, dayon.
**[18:32] Todo**
We're going home!
**[18:34] Choro**
Nope, nope, nope, dayon!
**[18:36] Todo**
Ugh!
**[18:39] Todo**
Oh, s-sorry.
**[18:41] Choro**
That's enough. That's...
**[18:44] Choro**
That's enough!
**[18:45] Choro**
Stop!
**[18:49] Choro**
That's enough, you guys.
Why did you even come here?
**[18:53] Choro**
Go home.
**[18:55] Choro**
We already decided we'll live here.
**[18:58] Todo**
Huh?! Seriously, what are you sayi—
**[19:00] Choro**
I know!
**[19:01] Choro**
I really want to go back to
the outside world and get a job,
**[19:05] Choro**
and be a proper person!
**[19:08] Choro**
But... But it's just not possible.
**[19:11] Choro**
I can't keep up anything, I keep
trying to look like I'm job hunting,
**[19:14] Choro**
but all I'm actually doing is
Chorofappysking in my room every day!
**[19:18] Choro**
The only choice a scumbag like me has
is to stay here and become a Dayon!
**[19:28] Todo**
Yeah, becoming a Dayon is not your only choice.
**[19:30] Todo**
Not to mention, that was a bit
rude toward the Dayons, too.
**[19:33] Choro**
Now, let's continue the ceremony.
**[19:35] Todo**
Wait, seriously...
**[19:38] Choro**
Huh?
**[19:40] Choro**
Wh-Why?
**[19:45] Choro**
What? Go home?
**[19:51] Choro**
Wh-Why?!
**[19:54] Oso**
We don't wanna, dayon!
**[19:55] Kara**
We won't go home, yon!
**[20:04] Choro**
What brought this on?
**[20:09] Three**
Huh?
**[20:20] Oso**
Dayon!
**[20:22] Kara**
We wanna stay here, yon!
**[20:23] Choro**
We don't wanna go home, yon!
**[21:07] Todo**
Huh? What is this?
**[21:36] Oso**
Okay, all set.
**[21:39] Oso**
We're going home. Ready?
**[21:41] Five**
Yeah!
**[21:42] Oso**
Let's go!
***SIGN*** Anus This Way
***SIGN*** End
**[21:56] Some**
I'm gonna die!
***SIGN*** Next Time on Osomatsu-san
**[23:29] Kara**
No, no, no! We're almost up to the last episode,
**[23:32] Kara**
and we still haven't announced air dates for
"Karamatsu of Love" or "Kimagure Karamatsu Road!"
**[23:40] Kara**
Er, huh? Huh?
**[23:41] Kara**
The preview's already started? You're kidding.
***SIGN*** "Totoko's Huge Panic" "Letter"
**[23:45] Kara**
Ahem. Sorry about that, Karamatsu Girls.
**[23:47] Kara**
I let myself go a little bit. Just a little bit.