E2 - Super Detergent Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) SIGN    "Congratulations!     Employment!!" [01:47] Osomatsu     U-Um... [01:48] Dad     NEETS! [01:50] Dad     Do you understand what's going on?     Your mother and I are very angry with you. [01:54] Mom     Yes, we're getting annoyed. [01:56] Dad     Yes, we're getting annoyed. [01:59] Dad     Osomatsu! [02:01] Dad     Tell us why we're so angry. [02:04] Osomatsu     Huh? Uh, well... [02:07] Osomatsu     Did we do anything to make you mad? [02:11] Osomatsu     Um... Oh! Because we're virgins? [02:14] Dad     Dear? [02:15] Mom     Yup. [02:27] Mom     Your nipples are gone, Osomatsu. [02:29] Dad     I'm beginning to like this, dear. [02:30] Mom     I am, too, dear. [02:32] Dad     Ichimatsu. [02:33] Dad     What about you? [02:35] Dad     Have you done anything to upset us? [02:40] Mom     Well? Can you think of anything? [02:44] Ichi     Oh, I got it. [02:46] Ichi     The tuna cans. [02:48] Ichi     The cans of tuna stocked under the sink. [02:50] Ichi     You must be mad because I gave one     of them to a stray cat without asking. [02:55] Ichi     Sorry. [02:55] Dad     Dear? [02:56] Mom     Yup. [03:00] Mom     No, that's not it at all. [03:01] Dad     Definitely not it. Next, Jyushimatsu. [03:05] Dad     What about you? [03:08] Jyushimatsu     B-Because we aren't working. [03:10] Dad     Oyo? [03:10] Mom     Oyoyo? [03:11] Jyushimatsu     Because even though we're adults     well over twenty, we're still unemployed. [03:16] Jyushi     Sorry! So sorry! [03:17] Jyushi     So sorry about that! [03:19] Dad     So long as you understand, Jyushimatsu. [03:22] Mom     Thank goodness. I'm relieved. [03:25] Choro     Thank goodness. [03:27] Kara     You saved us. [03:28] Todo     Nice, Jyushimatsu-niisan. [03:29] Dad     And? [03:30] Four     Huh? [03:30] Dad     And when are you going to start working? [03:33] Jyushimatsu     Oh... Uh... [03:35] Jyushi     In about five years, I think. [03:37] Dad     Dear? [03:37] Mom     Yup. [03:40] Three     No! [03:42] Mom     So close. [03:43] Dad     Karamatsu. [03:45] Dad     What about you? When are you     going to start working? [03:47] Kara     I'm going to start today, of course. [03:49] Dad     Oyo? [03:50] Mom     Oyoyo? [03:51] Kara     But of course. [03:53] Kara     We've lived so long in obscurity... [03:55] Kara     But it appears the time has come to show     the world what we're truly made of! [03:59] Kara     Job hunting? Very well, I accept! [04:02] Kara     I won't run away! Nay, I will not run away! [04:05] Kara     Behold my awakened form and watch     over me, Mommy and Dadd— [04:11] Mom     I respect your resolve,     but the way you talk pisses me off. [04:15] Dad     What about you, Todomatsu? [04:17] Dad     What kind of job are you     going to be starting today? [04:20] Dad     Todomatsu. [04:23] Mom     Totty. [04:28] Todo     Hell if I know, you morons. [04:31] Todo     I don't know! [04:33] Todo     I don't want to experience anything     bothersome ever in my whole life. [04:37] Todo     Bye. [04:39] Choro     He did it himself?! [04:41] Choro     How beautiful! [04:42] Dad     Well, see you, Choromatsu. [04:45] Dad     We're leaving the rest up to you. [04:47] Mom     We're counting on you, Choromatsu. [04:57] Oso     The hell? What the hell was all that about? [05:00] Oso     Is the fact that we aren't     looking for jobs that bad? [05:03] Todo     Our parents are so selfish! They could     afford to take care of us a little longer! [05:07] Jyushi     Give us back our nipples! [05:09] Oso     What's the matter, Choromatsu? [05:11] Choro     Why was I the only one spared? [05:13] Oso     Ah, the violence known as     "expectation." Must be rough. [05:19] Choro     This is all your fault! [05:20] Oso     Huh? [05:21] Choro     It's because you, the eldest,     can't get his shit together [05:24] Choro     that it's all come down to me! [05:26] Oso     Oh, no. I've successfully kept running     away from all that stuff this whole time. [05:30] Oso     Things are finally starting to pan out. [05:33] Oso     Our parents are starting to give up on me. [05:35] Choro     Huh?! [05:35] Todo     That's some way to look at it... [05:37] Oso     Let me tell you that anyone     can become a failure... [05:41] Oso     but it takes hard work to     become a piece of shit. [05:43] Choro     The hell are you talking about?! [05:44] Oso     Ow! I'm against violence! [05:46] Todo     Ow! Why me?! [05:48] Kara     Why you?! [05:53] Choro     Seriously, we just need to start working. [05:55] Choro     At this rate, we're really     going to get kicked out. [05:58] Ichi     Let's die. [06:02] Todo     Then why don't we try streaming? [06:04] Five     Streaming? [06:05] Todo     Yup. We'll all take videos of something     and upload them to the internet. SIGN    Totty      Channel [06:08] Todo     If we can get enough views,     it'll turn into money. [06:10] Five     Huh... [06:11] Todo     Wait, you've never heard of it? I'm shocked. [06:13] Oso     Uh, I'm more amazed that     you have your own channel. [06:17] Choro     Streaming, huh...     That might not be a bad idea. [06:20] Kara     That sounds like something we can do. [06:22] Jyushi     Easy peasy! [06:23] Oso     Let's give it a shot. [06:25] Ichi     No, let's die. [06:27] Todo     Okay. You can start at any time. [06:30] Choro     It's already going? [06:32] Todo     Yup. We're currently streaming worldwide. [06:36] Oso     Hey, I'm Osomatsu! [06:38] Oso     Let's have some oden with a ton of mustard! [06:40] Todo     Wait, seriously?! [06:41] Oso     Let's dig... in! [06:46] Jyushi     I'm Jyushimatsu!     I'm gonna do something funny. [06:50] Jyushi     I'm Odenman! [06:52] Kara     So you've shown yourself,     Odenman! Take this! [06:55] Kara     Nipple Beam! [06:57] Jyushi     Aiyee! Stop! [06:58] Jyushi     Save me, Completely Naked Man! [06:59] Ichi     Huh? [07:00] Ichi     You called? [07:01] Oso     Hey, no fair! I'm gonna be     Completely Naked Man too, then! [07:04] Kara     No fair! Completely Naked Man! [07:06] Jyushi     Yeah! Completely Naked Man! [07:08] Choro     You somehow always end up     with your clothes off... [07:14] Totty     Hey, everyone! I'm Totty! [07:16] Totty     I'm currently looking for a girlfriend! [07:17] Oso     Hey! Why are you trying to be all popular?! [07:21] Totty     I have no idea who these people are. [07:23] Oso     Hey! [07:24] Kara     Hey, do something, Choromatsu. [07:25] Ichi     What? You're gonna eat     oden through your ass? [07:28] Oso     Seriously?! [07:28] Choro     Like I could! Wait, stop, hey! [07:30] Choro     It's not possible! Hey! [07:36] Oso     Cheers! [07:38] All     Cheers! [07:40] Oso     Man... We finally got a job. [07:43] Choro     Yeah, we totally did. [07:45] Kara     So starting today,     our job will be streaming. Not bad. [07:49] Todo     We finally found a steady job! [07:50] Jyushi     We're gonna make money! [07:51] Ichi     We'll show them... [08:09] Choro     So cold. [08:11] Choro     Hey, guys. Hey! [08:14] Ichi     I'm thirsty... [08:16] Oso     Totty. [08:18] Oso     How many views did we get? [08:20] Oso     100K? A million? [08:23] Todo     Let's see... [08:24] Todo     Oh. Looks like we got reported. SIGN    Video not found [08:27] Todo     Our video's been deleted. [08:28] Five     Huh? [08:33] Oso     What the hell? We're already out of a job? [08:37] Kara     And after we finally found a job, too... [08:43] Todo     Well, you know. Working is hard and stuff. [08:46] Choro     It's not something you can     do so easily after all. [08:54] Oso     Guess we have no choice.     We're gonna have to do this for real. [08:57] All     Huh? [08:58] Oso     Let's show them...     exactly what we're made of. [09:04] All     Yeah! SIGN    Employment Office SIGN    Consultation Corner [09:47] Guy     Yeah, that's not happening. [09:49] Six     What?! [09:50] Oso     Why not?! We just lost our jobs! SIGN    Let's live happily! [09:53] Oso     You get unemployment when     you lose your job, right?! [09:55] Guy     Please leave. [09:56] Choro     It's true! We got a job yesterday,     and lost it this morning! [10:00] Guy     Leave. [10:01] Kara     That's messed up, Japan! [10:02] Guy     You're the ones who are messed up. [10:03] Todo     The heck's wrong with you, Japan?! [10:05] Guy     What's wrong with all of you? [10:06] Both     What? We can't get unemployment? [10:09] Oso     This is so messed up! [10:10] Guy     You're the ones who are messed up! [10:11] Six     Die, Japan! [10:13] Guy     All of you can die! SIGN    Comments SIGN    [Hell] NEET Sextuplets Gone Wild Stream Employment Office SIGN    Viewing: SIGN    End [10:21] Chibita     Holy crap. SIGN    "Super Detergent" [10:32] Iyami     There's a party today! [10:34] Iyami     Me wonders if there's a cutie     there befitting of me. [10:37] Iyami     Bonjour, mademoiselle! [10:40] Iyami     Beautiful flowers have thorns... [10:42] Iyami     It appears that me has been     pricked by one of those thorns. [10:44] Iyami     "Oh, Iyami-san!" Just kidding! [10:54] Boy     Sorry, Mister. [10:55] Boy     Could you get our ball? [10:57] Iyami     Sheeeh! [11:03] Boy     What the heck was that for? [11:05] Iyami     This is how the world works.     Me hopes you learned something. [11:10] Iyami     Sh-Sh-Sheeeh! [11:13] Iyami     Me can't go to the party now... [11:16] Iyami     It won't come off. Me won't make it in time. [11:20] Deka     No need to worry. [11:23] Deka     Just a moment. [11:24] Deka     That's strange... I'm sure I put     it next to this gold ball... [11:27] Deka     Oh, I remember! [11:30] Iyami     It stinks! [11:31] Deka     This is a magical detergent that gets rid     of any stubborn stain in an instant. [11:37] Deka     It's super detergent. [11:39] Iyami     Super detergent? [11:41] Deka     You pour this on a stain,     like this, and then... [11:44] Iyami     Sheeeh! [11:47] Deka     And just like that, it's gone! [11:49] Deka     Nothing on the market can compare! [11:52] Deka     But you need to be careful.     It's very potent. [11:56] Deka     If you use it the wrong way,     it could be very dangerous... [11:59] Deka     Oh? [12:03] Iyami     Now me will make it in time for the party! [12:05] Iyami     This must be because me     is always such a good boy! [12:07] Oso     Hey, it's Iyami. [12:09] Iyami     Sheeeh! Of all people... [12:11] Oso     Whatcha doin'? [12:12] Iyami     Oh, hello, Todomatsu. [12:14] Oso     I'm Osomatsu. [12:15] Iyami     Ah, hello, Jyushimatsu. [12:17] Oso     I said I'm Osomatsu.     You seriously don't remember, do you? [12:20] Todo     Are you headed somewhere?     You look fancy today. [12:24] Iyami     M-Me is just on a walk. [12:26] Kara     A walk? Are you sure? [12:29] Iyami     Just on a walk... SIGN    Matsu [12:30] Ichi     Really? [12:31] Iyami     A walk! Me is very busy, you know! [12:42] Iyami     Sheeeh! Stop following me! [12:45] Choro     You're acting suspicious.     You're going somewhere, aren't you? [12:47] Ichi     You said yourself that you're busy,     so you're not on a walk. [12:53] Oso     Well? Iyami-kun? [12:59] Iyami     Sheeeh! [13:00] Six     Hey! Wait up! SIGN    Crystal SIGN    All Japan     Overbite General Meeting [13:12] Iyami     Wow, you must be rich! [13:14] Ichi     So good. [13:15] Jyushi     So good! This salmon is awesome! [13:18] Kara     There's even champagne, Totty. [13:19] Totty     Thanks. [13:20] Choro     What the heck? I guess we don't     need to work to eat like this. [13:24] Oso     Yeah, no kidding. [13:26] Iyami     Sheeeh... [13:30] Iyami     Wh-Where's the bathroom? [13:32] Kara     Oh? I've spotted a tasty-looking adult beverage. [13:35] Jyushi     Wanna try it? [13:40] Ichi     Come on, you maggots.     You want to drink mine, don't you? [13:44] All     Yes, sir, we do! [13:46] Ichi     What are we drinking, anyway? [13:47] Kara     I'm too drunk to tell. [13:53] Oso     Well, see ya, Iyami. [13:54] All     Bye-bye! [13:57] Iyami     They aren't human... [14:01] Iyami     Where's the detergent?! Where'd it go? [14:04] Iyami     Sh-Sh-Sheeeh? SIGN    Crystal [14:10] Iyami     Sheeeh! [14:13] Oso     Man, we're drunk. [14:15] Choro     We sure are. [14:16] Jyushi     It was yummy! [14:17] Ichi     I'm glad to be alive. [14:19] Kara     I'm so full. [14:20] Totty     What am I going to do if I get fat? [14:22] Kara     Hey, come on, Jyushimatsu.     You're way too drunk. [14:25] Jyu     Huh? [14:26] Kara     You're so drunk, look... [14:27] Kara     You're becoming see-through. [14:29] Jyu     Huh? Oh, you're right.     I'm becoming see-through. [14:33] Todo     Well, so are you, Karamatsu-niisan. [14:36] Ichi     You are, too, Totty. [14:37] Todo     Huh? [14:38] Todo     What?! When did this happen?! [14:46] Kara     What the hell? What's going on? [14:48] Jyushi     Why? Why's my body see-through?! [14:51] Oso     Huh?! What is this? [14:53] Ichi     What's going on? [14:55] Choro     We're becoming even more invisible!     We're becoming even more invisible! [14:58] Jyu     Are we just going to disappear like this? No! [15:02] Kara     We're becoming invisible! [15:03] Oso     We're becoming invisible! [15:04] Ichi     We're becoming invisible! [15:05] Todo     We're becoming invisible! [15:11] Six     Huh? [15:13] Both     We didn't become completely invisible! [15:15] Kara     Why?! It just stopped! [15:17] Todo     What's going on?! [15:18] Todo     Shouldn't this end up with us     becoming completely invisible, [15:21] Todo     spying on some girl in the bath, SIGN    Hot Springs [15:23] Todo     the invisibility suddenly wearing off,     and us panicking? [15:25] Todo     Isn't that the usual pattern?! [15:28] Ichi     Why did it stop halfway?     This is just inconvenient. [15:32] Oso     Holy crap, this is annoying! [15:34] All     So annoying! [15:36] Todo     Not to mention gross! [15:37] Both     Gross! [15:39] Todo     Hey, look! Osomatsu-niisan's organs... [15:42] Todo     Don't they look super sloppy?     It's like they're not even trying... [15:46] All     Wow, you're right. [15:48] Oso     Hey! Stop looking at my organs! [15:50] Oso     It's embarrassing somehow... [15:51] Choro     Now look at my excellent     organs in comparison! [15:56] Todo     Wow! They're really well-arranged! [15:58] Todo     They almost look like a display. [16:00] Ichi     But isn't that kinda boring? [16:02] Choro     Huh? [16:03] Jyushi     Yeah. Your organs are really     boring, Choromatsu-niisan. [16:06] Choro     I'm not quite sure why     I'm being attacked here... [16:09] Kara     Here's how mine look. [16:11] Oso     Why is your heart a disco ball?! [16:13] Todo     What the hell?! [16:14] Kara     Haha! [16:16] Choro     What about you, Jyushimatsu? [16:17] Jyushi     Me? [16:18] Jyshi     This is what mine look like. [16:20] Todo     Whoa! His organs are laughing! [16:22] Kara     What's going on?! [16:23] Choro     Even his organs are Jyushimatsu! [16:24] Kara     What's going on?! [16:26] Jyushi     I wonder what that means! [16:27] Todo     Mine are normal. [16:29] Ichi     Oh. You're right. [16:32] Choro     No, wait! He doesn't have a heart! [16:34] Four     What?! [16:36] Oso     He has no heart! [16:37] Oso     Where did you drop your     precious heart, Todomatsu?! [16:40] Todo     Oh, you're right! [16:41] Todo     This is hilarious! [16:42] Ichi     H-He's smiling... [16:43] Choro     I knew he was heartless, but... [16:46] Oso     What about Ichimatsu? [16:47] Ichi     Huh? Don't worry about mine... [16:49] Choro     No! Show us! [16:51] Todo     Ichimatsu-niisan! [16:51] Oso     Show us, Ichimatsu! [16:55] Ichi     S-Stop... [16:57] Todo     Whoa, what is this? SIGN    Caution: Fragile [17:00] Todo     So delicate... [17:02] Oso     He's always emitting a dark aura, [17:04] Oso     but maybe he just gets hurt really easily. SIGN    Caution: Fragile [17:07] Oso     Holy crap, it cracked! I'm so sorry! [17:11] Oso     But, man... I know we're sextuplets,     but I guess we really are all different. [17:17] Todo     Yeah... [17:18] Four     Yeah... [17:22] Choro     Wait, seriously! What are we gonna do?! [17:24] Choro     "We really are all different," my ass! [17:26] Choro     What are we going to do?     We can't live like this! [17:28] Todo     Well, we can't go out looking like this. [17:31] Kara     I don't mind going out looking like this. [17:33] Choro     You don't. [17:35] Oso     What should we do? [17:37] Jyushi     Hey, guys. [17:39] Jyushi     Wanna paint ourselves with paint? [17:41] All     Good idea! [17:44] Jysuhimatsu     Do a good job. [17:45] Oso     Stay still. [17:46] Todo     We need to paint his clothes, too. [17:48] All     There! All done! [17:53] Jyushi     Huh?! Do I look this bad?! [17:55] Five     Yeah. [17:57] Jyushi     I look like this?! [17:58] Five     Yup. [17:59] Jyushi     This bad?! [18:00] Five     That bad. [18:01] Jyushi     That's not good! [18:02] Five     Nope. [18:03] Ichi     I-If you would... [18:04] Jyushi     Ichimatsu-niisan is so easy to draw! [18:07] Kara     He's got something that stands out. [18:09] Five     Okay! All done! [18:13] Ichi     Wait, do I seriously look this bad? [18:15] Five     Yeah. [18:16] Ichi     I look like this? [18:17] Five     Yup. [18:19] Ichi     This bad? [18:19] Five     That bad. [18:21] Ichi     That's not good. [18:22] Five     Nope. [18:24] Kara     I'm counting on you, Totty.     Recreate my coolness. [18:27] Todo     Yeah, sure. [18:29] Todo     I'm done. [18:32] Kara     Totty! Draw me properly! [18:35] Todo     Well, we can tell it's you,     right? That's plenty, isn't it? [18:37] Kara     You need to have more interest in others! [18:39] Oso     Todomatsu! You need to draw him properly. [18:41] Oso     Look at how I drew Choromatsu!     Isn't it perfect? SIGN    Fappy [18:46] Todo     It's perfect! That's totally Choromatsu-niisan! [18:50] Choro     Hey! You shitty eldest brother! [18:53] Jyushi     Who's next? Totty? [18:55] Totty     Oh, I'm fine. I'll draw myself. [18:57] Kara     Don't be like that. I'll draw you. [18:59] Totty     Don't touch me. I'll do it. [19:01] Kara     Huh? [19:03] Totty     Okay, all done! [19:06] Totty     I'm Totty! [19:07] All     Gross! [19:09] Choro     Did your eyelashes always look like that? [19:10] Totty     My potential is on another level. [19:12] Kara     Good grief. You love yourself     entirely too much, Todomatsu. [19:15] Ichi     Did that just come out of your mouth?! [19:17] Jyushi     Osomatsu-niisan is the only one left. [19:19] Oso     Hurry, hurry! Why am I last, anyway? [19:22] Jyu     Here we go. [19:23] Oso     Okay! [19:26] Oso     Huh? What's wrong? [19:28] Oso     Hurry up and draw me. SIGN    Fappy [19:30] Todo     Well... SIGN    Fappy [19:33] Todo     We can't remember what your face looks like. [19:35] Four     Yeah... [19:36] Oso     What?! What's that supposed to mean? [19:38] Todo     Wait, what did Osomatsu-niisan look like? [19:42] Oso     Wait, wait, wait, wait! [19:43] Choro     He's too normal... SIGN    Fappy [19:46] Oso     Hey! Don't call me normal! [19:46] Kara     He doesn't have any distinguishing features. [19:48] Oso     Hey! [19:49] Ichi     He's so obscure... [19:50] Oso     Hey! [19:51] Todo     He's just so plain... [19:52] Oso     Don't use the word "plain"! [19:54] Jyushi     Basically, he doesn't stand out. [19:56] Oso     Stop it! [19:57] Oso     Just hurry up and draw me, damn it! [19:59] Todo     Well, I guess anything works. [20:00] Oso     No, it doesn't work! Draw me properly! [20:02] Choro     Okay, okay. I guess when     it comes down to it, [20:04] Choro     we just have to draw him to look     like a stupid, pervy piece of shit, right? [20:08] Todo     Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.     Not a failure, but a piece of shit. [20:11] Oso     No, really. You don't need to     joke right now. Just draw me! [20:15] Five     We're done! SIGN    Fappy [20:18] Todo     Yeah, he definitely looks like a     stupid, pervy, trashy, piece of shit. [20:21] Oso     Just you wait, you bastards... [20:26] Oso     Wait, this actually looks like me! SIGN    Fappy [20:29] Oso     This isn't even a punchline! [20:30] Oso     I actually look like this! [20:32] Choro     Huh? Is that what you look like,     Osomatsu-niisan? [20:34] Oso     Yeah, this is pretty much what I look like! [20:36] Oso     Why is it that when you draw     me as a stupid, pervy [20:38] Oso     piece of shit, it actually looks like me?! [20:40] Ichi     Spitting image? Thank goodness. [20:42] Oso     Screw you guys! [20:46] Mom     Shut up, you stupid NEETS!     What do you think you're doing?! SIGN    Fappy [20:50] Mom     I'm watching my DVDs right now. Quiet down! [20:54] Mom     Honestly... [20:55] Choro     Huh? Mom? [20:57] Mom     What? SIGN    Fappy [20:58] Choro     Er, uh... Haven't you noticed anything? [21:02] Choro     Isn't there something strange about us? SIGN    Fappy [21:05] All     Yeah, yeah. [21:09] Mom     Not really. SIGN    Fappy [21:10] All     Huh? [21:11] Dad     Hey, what's the matter? [21:13] Six     Dad! [21:14] Choro     Hey, do you notice anything     strange about us? [21:20] Dad     What do you mean? [21:23] Totoko     What? Something different? [21:26] Totoko     Not really. [21:28] Hata     Jo? You're the same as usual, jo. [21:31] Dayon     Nothing's strange at all! SIGN    Fappy [21:36] Iyami     Huh? [21:37] Iyami     You're the same as usual. [21:39] Iyami     From the right, Jyushimatsu,     Ichimatsu, Karamatsu, SIGN    Fappy [21:43] Iyami     Choromatsu, Todomatsu, and Osomatsu. [21:47] Iyami     Honestly... [21:49] Kara     Hey... No one's noticing... [21:52] Jyushi     Even though we look like this... [21:53] Oso     Which means this is how     everyone usually sees us... [21:58] Choro     Hey! Don't say that! SIGN    Fappy SIGN    End SIGN    Next Time on Mr. Osomatsu SIGN    "Totoko's Challenge" etc. [23:49] Ichi     Apparently they're airing     this thing again next week. [23:51] Ichi     This anime just doesn't know     when to give up, does it?