E2 - Let's Get a Job / The Melancholy of Osomatsu

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:03] Todo
    Hey, Karamatsu-niisan.
[00:05] Todo
    Why are you trying to act
    cool at a fishing hole?
[00:08] Todo
    Who are you trying to impress?
[00:10] Todo
    There's no one around here
    but old guys and fish.
[00:13] Kara
    I'm just being normal.
[00:14] Todo
    No, you're not.
[00:16] Todo
    Stand up a second.
[00:18] Todo
    Where did you buy those?
[00:19] Todo
    Why would you wear those here?
    It's embarrassing!
[00:23] Todo
    Anyway, did you figure out
    what kind of job to get?
[00:26] Todo
    Choromatsu-niisan told you
    to look for one, didn't he?
[00:29] Kara
    Oh, about that...
[00:31] Todo
    Wait... Did you actually find one?
[00:33] Kara
    In regard to work...
[00:37] Kara
    I have no plans.
[00:38] Todo
    Why the dramatic pause?! That's so lame!
[00:42] Todo
    What was that for?
[00:44] Kara
    I can't catch any.
[00:45] Todo
    What are you using?
[00:47] Kara
    A letter.
[00:47] Todo
    Why?!
[00:48] Kara
    Because I fell in love with a fish.
[00:50] Todo
    Are you stupid?!
[00:51] Kara
    Maybe I should use this.
[00:52] Todo
    Just stop! You're surpassing narcissist
    and going straight to psychopath!
[00:57] Todo
    I don't wanna work.
[00:59] Todo
    Can't we just keep living a
    peaceful life like we are now?
[01:05] Choro
    Choromatsu and...
[01:06] Jyu
    ...Jyushimatsu's...
[01:07] Both
    ...delivery skit!
[01:09] Choro
    Aesop's Fables That Are Actually Terrifying!
SIGN    Aesop's Fables That Are Actually Terrifying
[01:12] Sign
    Delivery Skit
[01:15] Jyush
    Today's gonna be the day that
    I catch the master of the lake!
[01:19] Jyu
    I got it! I got it!
[01:23] Jyu
    Oh, no! I dropped my pole!
[01:28] Jyu
    What the?
[01:31] Choro
    Jyushimatsu, did you drop
    this steel Asura statue,
[01:36] Choro
    or this Asura statue made of jelly?
[01:40] Jyu
    No... I've never seen either before.
[01:42] Choro
    Very good.
[01:43] Choro
    Since you were so honest, I shall give
    you this Hijirisawa Shonosuke statue.
[01:48] Jyu
    What?! Really?!
[01:50] Jyu
    All right!
[01:51] Jyu
    It's a Hijirisawa Shonosuke!
    I'm gonna make this my heirloom!
[01:57] Choro
    Isn't that kinda scary?
[02:02] Both
    What?
SIGN    Osomatsu-san
SIGN    Employment Office
SIGN    "Let's Get a Job"
SIGN    Let's Live a Happy Life!
[03:36] Guy
    Matsuno Osomatsu-san, right?
[03:38] Oso
    Yes.
[03:39] Guy
    What job would you prefer?
[03:41] Oso
    I want something big!
    Something with charisma!
[03:44] Oso
    I want to be a legend!
    A human national treasure!
[03:46] Guy
    Of what, exactly?
[03:48] Guy
    Matsuno Karamatsu-san,
    what job would you prefer?
[03:52] Kara
    Silence and solitude.
[03:54] Guy
    Could you be a little more specific?
[03:57] Kara
    A battle with myself... A never-ending trial.
[04:00] Kara
    Eventually, I won't even be able to sta—
[04:03] Kara
    A public servant, please.
[04:05] Guy
    Matsuno Choromatsu-san?
[04:07] Choro
    Yes!
[04:08] Choro
    This is my agenda for today.
SIGN    Places I Want to Work
[04:10] Choro
    Honestly, social security is a must,
    with a milestone of 200,000 fixed
[04:14] Choro
    and committed per month.
[04:15] Choro
    What do you think?
[04:16] Guy
    You're annoying.
[04:18] Guy
    Matsuno Ichimatsu-san.
    What job would you prefer?
[04:22] Ichi
    No preference, really.
    I just followed everyone else.
[04:25] Ichi
    Hey, did you just think that I was trash?
[04:28] Ichi
    Yeah, I'm trash, garbage, unburnable
    trash that has no will to live.
[04:32] Ichi
    Hey, "unburnable trash" is a good
    phrase. I'll write that down.
[04:37] Jyu
    What? Tentacles?!
[04:38] Jyu
    Oh, these? These tentacles?!
[04:40] Jyu
    Yup! I can do tentacles!
[04:41] Jyu
    Yay!
[04:43] Todo
    Do you have a boyfriend?
[04:44] Lady
    No.
[04:45] Todo
    Really?
SIGN    Pub
[04:49] Oso
    Man!
[04:51] Oso
    Nothing beats a cold one after work!
[04:54] Choro
    Actually, none of us worked at all.
    We all got kicked out.
[04:57] Todo
    But it was so much fun!
[04:58] Choro
    What did you even go for, Todomatsu?
[05:00] Jyushi
    I just couldn't get a laugh.
[05:02] Choro
    What the hell did you go for, Jyushimatsu?
[05:04] Kara
    This is what it truly means
[05:06] Kara
    to be facing a dark future.
[05:07] Choro
    Why were you even born, Karamatsu?
[05:11] Choro
    At least say something, Ichimatsu!
[05:13] Todo
    Actually, do we even need jobs?
    It's so troublesome.
[05:17] All
    Yeah...
[05:18] Choro
    Wait. Why am I the bad guy here?
[05:21] Choro
    We're all adults now,
    so we need to find employment.
[05:25] Oso
    Do you want to be idols again, then?
[05:26] Choro
    No way in hell! We're never putting on
    that hellish display ever again!
[05:30] Oso
    F...
[05:31] All
    ...Six!
[05:32] Choro
    Stop! The guilt is blinding me!
SIGN    Employment
SIGN    You'll Be Popular if You Work!
[05:36] Choro
    I'm gonna go again in the afternoon.
[05:38] Choro
    At this point, I'll take even a part-time job.
[05:40] Ichi
    I'm going home.
[05:41] Choro
    Why?
[05:42] Ichi
    Because there's no point.
[05:43] Oso
    To be honest, you're the one
    I'm most worried about, Ichimatsu.
[05:48] Oso
    With a personality like that,
    you'll never find work.
[05:52] Choro
    You guys don't seem that different.
[05:54] Todo
    He probably wouldn't fit into society.
[05:56] Jyushi
    Totally.
[05:57] Oso
    I bet he'd kill his boss.
[05:59] Jyu
    Yup, yup.
[06:00] Kara
    I believe in you.
[06:02] Choro
    Wait, why? He's the only one
    who actually backed you up.
[06:06] Oso
    Ichimatsu's scary when Karamatsu teases him.
[06:09] Choro
    What are we going to do, Osomatsu-niisan?
[06:11] Choro
    At this rate, we're going
    to be unemployed for life.
[06:16] Oso
    All right. I've made up my mind.
SIGN    Junmai Sake  "Katsushibahama" Perfect for After Work
[06:18] Oso
    Let's get some sake!
[06:22] Choro
    Hey! God damn it!
[06:24] Choro
    You stupid eldest brother!
SIGN    Pub
[06:27] Oso
    Thanks for the drinks!
[06:28] Choro
    Whad'ya say, you idiot?!
[06:31] Choro
    Finding a job, my ass!
[06:32] Choro
    Whad'ya mean, "I got my nails done"?
[06:35] Choro
    "Ooh, nice!" Like hell!
[06:36] Choro
    I have so little interest
    in the color of your nails
[06:38] Choro
    that my ass hair is on fire, uglyface!
[06:41] Todo
    Why's his ass hair on fire?
[06:42] Oso
    From rage, I guess? He's totally the drunkest.
[06:46] Jyushi
    Hi, mister!
[06:48] Todo
    We're going, Jyushimatsu-niisan.
[06:50] Jyushi
    Bye!
[06:54] Oso
    What should we do?
[06:55] Oso
    Shall we go play some?
[06:56] Todo
    We don't have any money.
[06:58] Todo
    Huh? It's Iyami.
[07:01] Iyami
    Oh, is that you, Osomatsu?
[07:03] Todo
    I'm Todomatsu.
[07:04] Oso
    I'm Osomatsu.
[07:06] Iyami
    What's that smell?
    Have you been drinking already?
[07:09] Iyami
    You sextuplets are such failures, as always.
[07:12] Oso
    Say, Iyami. I'd like to discuss something
    with you, as a trusted friend.
[07:17] Todo
    What's this about?
[07:19] Oso
    We six are facing the greatest
    dilemma of our lives right now.
[07:25] Iyami
    Is there something me can do for you?
[07:28] Oso
    Could you lend us some cash?
[07:30] Iyami
    What are you going to use it for?
[07:33] Iyami
    Stop messing around!
[07:37] Iyami
    Stop that!
[07:38] Iyami
    What's wrong with you?!
    You stupid yakuza sextuplets!
[07:41] Oso
    Hmph. No more screen time for you.
[07:43] Todo
    Demon! Brute!
[07:45] Todo
    You man of good character!
    You wealthy fellow!
[07:47] Iyami
    Why did you compliment me at the end?
[07:49] Iyami
    For crying out loud... Everyone
    spoiled you all when you were young,
[07:52] Iyami
    so you've grown up to be terrible monsters.
[07:56] Choro
    What are you doing with this?
[07:57] Iyami
    Work.
[07:59] Iyami
    Unlike you all, me doesn't have
    all the time in the world.
[08:02] Choro
    What kind of work?
SIGN    RECRUITING   Would you like to happily sweat for  the sake of Japan and the world?  No experience necessary. We're just looking for people who want to try this out!!
[08:03] Iyami
    I'm recruiting.
[08:05] Iyami
    I'm looking for people who can do this job.
[08:11] Oso
    All right, Iyami-kun!
[08:13] Oso
    Nothing beats having a dear friend!
[08:16] Jyushi
    Your right's clear! Your left's clear!
[08:17] Jyushi
    Your overbite's clear!
[08:18] Iyami
    Be quiet.
[08:21] Iyami
    You won't find a job offer
    like this in these times!
[08:25] Kara
    I smell a big hustle.
[08:27] Choro
    Who are you?
[08:28] Todo
    We're saved!
[08:30] Todo
    And since it's Iyami's referral,
    it won't be nerve-racking.
[08:33] Iyami
    Think nothing of it.
[08:42] Jyu
    Huh? Where are we?
[08:45] Oso
    It's kind of... completely black...
[08:49] Oso
    Could this be...
[08:51] Choro
    Yeah. Actually, it's written there.
SIGN    Black Factory
[08:55] Choro
    Isn't this going a bit far?
[08:57] Iyami
    Why, hello, corporate slaves!
[08:58] Choro
    Don't call us corporate slaves.
[08:59] Iyami
    I will now explain your duties to you.
SIGN    Duties
[09:03] Iyami
    This is pretty much it.
[09:04] Choro
    Like we can read that! What's the
    point of making that black, too?!
SIGN    Schedule
[09:07] Iyami
    This is your schedule,
SIGN    Evacuation Route
[09:09] Iyammi
    and this is the evacuation route.
[09:11] Ichi
    'Kay.
[09:12] Choro
    You can read that?
[09:14] Oso
    What do we make here?
[09:15] Ichi
    You don't need to know
    that at the Black Factory.
[09:18] Oso
    Okay!
[09:19] Choro
    You accepted that way too fast.
    You should be more cautious!
[09:22] Iyami
    Well, I'm counting on you all!
[09:23] Choro
    To do what?! Hey!
[09:25] Todo
    Hey, this isn't good.
[09:27] Todo
    I've heard of dangerous workplaces like this...
[09:31] Todo
    There's only one bathroom.
[09:32] Todo
    The last thing to touch that seat
    was some old guy's bare ass.
[09:37] Toddo
    Covering it with toilet paper is pointless.
[09:40] Todo
    Because that same old guy touched the
    toilet paper right after wiping his bare ass.
[09:50] Choro
    What are you scared of?! Are you a girl?!
[09:52] Todo
    There's no way I can indirectly
    ass-touch with some old guy!
[09:55] Choro
    What the hell is "indirectly ass-touch"?
    Don't say it like "indirect kiss."
[10:00] Choro
    What do we do now?
[10:02] Choro
    We don't even know what the work is...
[10:07] Choro
    Is that the person in charge?
[10:09] Choro
    Hey, excuse me. I have a question.
[10:12] Choro
    What do you make at this factory?
[10:14] Suit
    We will not be answering any questions.
[10:17] Suit
    Please figure out what you're
    supposed to do on your own.
[10:21] Todo
    Huh? We won't understand
    if you don't explain it to us!
[10:24] Todo
    You can't be serious!
[10:25] Todo
    Say something! Don't ignore us!
[10:26] Suit
    Silence!
SIGN    Black Factory
[10:28] Suit
    I'll kill you all, you trash!
SIGN    Zowa... Zowa...
[10:31] Oso
    He's...
[10:32] Suit
    It'd be easy to answer your questions.
[10:35] Suit
    But what good would it do for you
    to know what we make here?
[10:39] Suit
    This is the Black Factory.
[10:41] Suit
    Even if you want to know,
    there's no way I can tell you.
[10:44] Suit
    I feel as if I'd be crushed by the guilt.
[10:47] Oso
    What is he talking about?
[10:48] Suit
    Listen up. Most of the things
    that go on here are crimes.
[10:52] Suit
    Do you still want to know?
[10:54] Suit
    I will not tell you, even if my mouth split open.
[10:56] Suit
    If you still want to hear, then listen well!
[10:59] Suit
    Though I won't tell you!
[11:00] Oso
    Seriously, what is he talking about?
[11:02] Suit
    Listen up, vermin!
[11:04] Oso
    He's still going!
[11:04] Suit
    You failed again and again
SIGN    Black Factory
[11:06] Suit
    to get a job in the free world,
    and that's why you're here.
[11:08] Suit
    Don't you understand that
    you're in the pit of Hell?
SIGN    Zawa... Zawa...
[11:12] Suit
    There's only one thing that you
    can do, and that's work!
[11:17] Suit
    Engrave the desire to work and then
    leave this place into your hearts!
[11:21] Suit
    Work! To work is your everything!
SIGN    Work is God           Safety Second
[11:25] Suit
    You must work!
[11:26] Suit
    You must work! You must work!
[12:02] Iyami
    Those stupid sextuplets.
[12:04] Iyami
    Now we'll be able to make
    another fortune, won't we, sir?
SIGN    Honored Squad Leader For Life 
    Matsuno Ichimatsu
[12:31] Iyami
    That will be all!
[12:33] Iyami
    We've safely reached our quota for the day!
[12:35] Iyami
    This is work! This is society!
[12:37] Iyami
    Oh, how marvelous!
[12:39] Iyami
    You're all finally becoming real adults.
[12:42] Iyami
    Right, sir?
[12:46] Iyami
    Here we go! Become an adult!
[12:48] All
    Become an adult! Become an adult!
[13:04] Choro
    Aren't they tricking us?
SIGN    Keep Hands Clear
[13:14] Dayon
    Dayon! Dayon!
SIGN    Authentic Taste  Chinese Restaurant
SIGN    A Few Months Later
[13:28] Oso
    Thanks to that horrible
    experience, we brothers
[13:32] Oso
    were able to realize what
    was really important.
[13:34] Oso
    We don't have to hurry.
    We can just do a little at a time.
[13:38] Oso
    Can I go to the bathroom, sir?
[13:42] Oso
    It's been ten minutes. Swap out.
[13:46] Oso
    Yes... Because the six of us are one.
[13:54] Choro
    This is a scam!
SIGN    End
SIGN    "The Melancholy of Osomatsu"
[13:58] Oso
    It's your turn, Karamatsu.
[14:00] Kara
    I'll take three. What about you, Choromatsu?
[14:03] Choro
    I'll take two.
[14:04] Choro
    What about you, Ichimatsu?
[14:05] Ichi
    I fold. Jyushimatsu?
[14:08] Jyu
    I'm exchanging all of them!
[14:09] Jyu
    You, Todomatsu?
[14:10] Todo
    I pass.
[14:12] Oso
    Ready? All right, go!
[14:15] Kara
    Two pairs.
[14:16] Oso
    What?!
[14:17] Choro
    Three-of-a-kind.
[14:18] Oso
    You're kidding!
[14:19] Jyushi
    Pig!
[14:19] Oso
    No! Wait, pig?
[14:21] Todo
    Straight flush!
[14:23] Oso
    What?! And then...
[14:27] Oso
    Five-of-a-kind!
[14:31] Oso
    Don't underestimate the oldest!
[14:33] Oso
    You five can never defeat me!
[14:42] Oso
    I'm done.
[14:45] Oso
    Where did they all go?
[14:47] Oso
    Your older brother misses you.
SIGN    Hashimoto Nyaa Concert
[14:52] Choro
    Nyan! Nyan! Nyan! Nya!
[14:54] Choro
    All right, here we go!
[14:56] Choro
    Ameri-short! Persian!
[14:58] Choro
    Tortoiseshell!
[14:58] Choro
    Munchkin! Scot!
[14:59] Choro
    Siamese! Russian Blue!
[15:02] Choro
    Nyaa-chan! You're so amazingly cute!
[15:04] Choro
    Nyaa-chan!
[15:05] Nyaa
    Thanks, nyaan!
[15:08] Choro
    Th-The time is finally at hand.
    Calm down, Choromatsu.
[15:12] Choro
    You've only got twenty seconds.
SIGN    Let's Shake Hands, Nyan
SIGN    Hashimoto Nyan
[15:15] Choro
    You saved up all the money that
    you earned just for this moment!
[15:18] Choro
    Start with your thoughts on the new single.
SIGN    Nyaa Photobook
[15:20] Choro
    Nonchalantly mention that you've
    reserved her new photobook,
SIGN    Reserved
[15:23] Choro
    and throw your Twitter
    handle into the conversation.
[15:25] Choro
    Do not be pushy!
[15:27] Choro
    Act appropriately distant,
    unlike all those other fans.
[15:30] Choro
    Make her feel like you really get her!
[15:32] Choro
    Yes! Make her feel like you
    really understand her stress.
[15:36] Choro
    There's nothing to fear! My plan is perfect!
[15:39] Oso
    Whatcha doin'?
[15:40] Choro
    An accident has occurred!
[15:41] Oso
    Huh... Didn't know you were into this stuff.
[15:43] Choro
    Wh-Wh-What are you doing
    here, Osomatsu-niisan?!
[15:46] Oso
    Her face is pretty plain, isn't it?
[15:48] Oso
    Like one you'd see in class.
[15:49] Choro
    Hey!
SIGN    Photo Op 1,000 Yen
[15:49] Oso
    A photo is 1,000 yen? So expensive!
[15:51] Choro
    Don't say that!
[15:53] Oso
    I love you, Reika!
[15:54] Choro
    Who the hell is Reika?! You're too random!
[15:57] Person
    Next in line, please.
[15:58] Choro
    Oh, coming!
[16:00] Choro
    Sorry, some weird guy wouldn't stop talking to m—
[16:03] Oso
    Nice to meet you. The name's Matsuno Osomatsu.
[16:04] Choro
    Hey!
[16:05] Oso
    Thanks for taking such good
    care of my little brother.
[16:07] Choro
    Why are you shaking her hand?!
[16:09] Oso
    He's a really good guy, so would you
    have s** with him at least once?
[16:15] Choro
    Stupid, stupid, stupid! Don't say "s**"!
[16:17] Choro
    I'm so sorry, Nyaa-chan!
[16:19] Oso
    Wait. Should you be saying "s**"
    in front of the person you like?
[16:22] Choro
    You're the one saying "s°°"!
[16:24] Oso
    What? Did I say "s**"?
    Did I really say "s**"?
[16:28] Choro
    You just want to say "s**," don't you?!
[16:32] Oso
    S**.
[16:32] Choro
    Don't say it so casually!
[16:33] Oso
    Then how about ?
[16:35] Choro
    Shut up!
[16:36] Oso
    What about ?
[16:37] Choro
    Shut your mouth!
[16:38] Oso
    Then how about she **** your
     and then **** and ?
[16:41] Choro
    Just get out of the way!
[16:43] Choro
    Nya... Nyaa-chan...
[16:45] Deka
    Time's up.
[16:52] Oso
    Whoa! He totally hit me!
[16:55] Choro
    Get out of here.
[16:56] Choro
    From this day onward,
    you are a stranger to me.
[17:00] Oso
    What was that for? I was just trying to help...
[17:13] Sachi
    Hey, Aida, doesn't that guy look cool?
[17:16] Aida
    He totally looks like Ozaki, Sacchi!
[17:18] Sachi
    Go talk to him!
[17:19] Aida
    I can't! He's too hot. I'm gonna die!
[17:22] Sachi
    Then maybe I'll go instead.
[17:27] Aida
    What the hell is with him? So creepy.
[17:29] Sachi
    Die.
[17:32] Kara
    So you're finally here, Karamatsu girls.
[17:41] Oso
    I was just trying to surprise him a little!
[17:44] Oso
    I was throwing in a little service!
    He didn't have to hit me!
[17:49] Oso
    Huh?
[17:50] Oso
    Hey, Todomatsu!
[17:52] Oso
    What, are you on a date?
[17:54] Oso
    Perfect timing. Let me join in!
[17:55] Oso
    I've been so bored today. Choromatsu
    and Karamatsu are so mean.
[17:59] Oso
    They won't acknowledge me at all.
[18:00] Todo
    I'm sorry. Who are you?
[18:03] Girl
    Do you know him?
[18:04] Todo
    Who?
[18:05] Girl
    The guy just now.
[18:06] Todo
    Huh? Did I just talk to someone?
[18:08] Girl
    But he did look like you.
[18:09] Todo
    No idea.
[18:10] Oso
    Cold... So cold.
[18:14] Oso
    Screw them! I won't trust anyone anymore!
[18:19] Oso
    Ichimatsu?
[18:22] Oso
    What's he doing in a place like...
[18:36] Oso
    Well, look at that. He can
    actually be cute sometimes.
[18:39] Oso
    Ichimatsu! You'll play with me, righ—
[18:43] Oso
    Huh?
[18:53] Oso
    Wh-What?!
[19:02] Oso
    I had no idea...
[19:04] Oso
    We've lived together for twenty-some years.
[19:06] Oso
    I guess there are still things*
    I don't know about my brothers...
SIGN    Matsu
[19:17] Oso
    Yup, there sure are.
[19:20] Oso
    Beer!
SIGN    Hybrid Oden
[19:21] Chibi
    "Beer" nothing, you idjit!
[19:23] Chibi
    You ain't getting a single beer
    until you pay your tab, damn it!
[19:27] Oso
    Don't be like that, Chibita.
    I've been through a lot today.
[19:33] Oso
    I haven't been getting along
    well with my brothers lately.
[19:37] Oso
    I think they might hate me...
[19:43] Chibi
    You only get one, idjit.
[19:47] Chibi
    You idjit! God damn it!
[19:49] Chibi
    Of course they hate you!
    This is all your fault!
[19:53] Oso
    Why's it my fault?!
[19:54] Sign
    Hybrid Oden
    Cards Accepted
[19:54] Chibi
    Because you're the one butting into their
    business and making things hard for them!
[19:58] Chibi
    They're your brothers, so take
    better care of them, idjit.
[20:04] Chibi
    This is the first time I'm mentioning this...
[20:07] Chibi
    But when I was a kid, I hated you sextuplets.
[20:12] Chibi
    But half of that was jealousy.
[20:16] Chibi
    You guys are fighting? At least
    you've got someone to fight with.
[20:19] Chibi
    I never even had anyone
    to fight with, you idjit.
[20:25] Chibi
    Drink your water and get the hell out.
[20:27] Chibi
    The oldest brother shouldn't
    make the others worry!
[20:33] Oso
    And?
[20:34] Chibi
    Uh, I'm telling you to
    take care of your broth—
[20:37] Oso
    What does that have to do with this?!
[20:39] Oso
    The fact that you wanted siblings
[20:40] Oso
    has nothing to do with the fact that
[20:42] Oso
    I'm pissed off at them, does it?!
[20:43] Oso
    Why the hell are you trying to
    move me? That's not possible!
[20:46] Oso
    I'll have you know I wished
    I was an only child!
[20:49] Oso
    Have you ever had your
    clothes bought in dozens?
[20:51] Ozo
    It's hell! It destroys your sense of identity!
[20:53] Oso
    People point at you, wherever you go!
[20:55] Oso
    No matter how old you get,
    you're always being compared!
[20:56] Oso
    Just because we're sextuplets
    doesn't mean I have five comrades!
[20:59] Oso
    I've got five enemies!
[21:01] Oso
    Got it?! I'm going home!
[21:07] Chibi
    Wha...?
[21:09] Oso
    Take care of my brothers? Screw you!
[21:12] Oso
    They're the ones who wouldn't play with me!
[21:14] Oso
    I didn't do anything wrong.
[21:15] Oso
    And what does being the
    oldest have to do with it?!
[21:17] Oso
    That pisses me off most of all!
[21:19] Oso
    We're sextuplets! We're all the same age!
[21:25] Oso
    But then again... I am technically the oldest...
[21:34] Oso
    Sorry about today, you guys!
    I did a lot of things wrong!
[21:39] Jyu
    Whoa! You got a royal straight
    flush, New Osomatsu-niisan?
[21:44] Todo
    You're good at this, New Osomatsu-niisan!
[21:47] Ichi
    He's probably cheating.
[21:48] Choro
    Hey, Ichimatsu. He's not
    like the old Osomatsu.
[21:51] Ichi
    True.
[21:56] Oso
    See, Chibita? This is how these guys are.
[22:00] Oso
    I totally get them...
[22:02] Oso
    Because I'm the oldest!
[22:06] Oso
    Who the hell are you?!
SIGN    Next Time on Osomatsu-san
SIGN    "Tidbits Collection"
[23:45] Oso
    This is Karamatsu.
[23:46] Kara
    See you next time with "Tidbits Collection."