E18 - Iyami's Counterattack

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Girlymatsu-san
[00:04] Oso
    Hmph. Who knew she'd get married?
[00:07] Kara
    I'm seriously surprised
    she managed to get married.
[00:10] Kara
    Did you hear who the guy was?
[00:12] Oso
    Just some company employee.
    Apparently they met through friends.
[00:14] Kara
    How surprising! I didn't
    know she even had friends.
[00:17] Oso
    Hey... How much did you give her for gift money?
[00:20] Kara
    Me?
[00:22] Kara
    Just one...
[00:22] Oso
    What?!
[00:23] Kara
    What about you, Osoko?
    Did you actually give her three?
[00:25] Kara
    Surely not five, right?
[00:28] Oso
    Two...
[00:28] Kara
    What do you mean, two?!
[00:30] Kara
    That's bad luck since you can
    split that number in half!
[00:32] Oso
    Well, revolving payments are hard.
[00:36] Oso
    2,000 yen was all I could afford.
[00:37] Kara
    2,000 yen?! For a congratulatory gift?!
[00:39] Jyu
    Hey, what are you guys yelling about?
[00:41] Todo
    Let's take some pics! Pics!
[00:43] Oso
    Hey... Come on, you guys!
[00:45] Oso
    This isn't a cabaret club. You can't wear
    such slutty clothes at a reception!
[00:49] Jyu
    It's not slutty! It's not cabaret!
[00:51] Kara
    White is supposed to be reserved for the bride.
[00:53] Todo
    What? This isn't white.
[00:55] Todo
    It's milky beige.
[00:56] Kara
    It's the same.
[00:57] Jyu
    So scary! Are you two mother-in-laws?
[01:00] Jyu
    You aren't even married yet and
    you're already mother-in-laws?
[01:02] Jyu
    So pitiful!
[01:03] Ichi
    Who are you calling pitiful?
    Were you referring to all of you?
[01:09] Choro
    You guys stand out so much.
[01:10] Kara
    What? We stand out? Are guys looking at us?
[01:12] Kara
    Where? Are they hot?
[01:12] All
    Where, where?
[01:14] Ichi
    Todoko, go talk to them.
[01:16] Todo
    Why me?
[01:17] Ichi
    You have your usual technique.
[01:19] Ichi
    "Would you push the shutter button?"
[01:20] Ichi
    "Let's take one together!"
[01:22] Ichi
    "I'll send it to you, so could
    I get your email address?"
[01:25] Todo
    I don't usually use that!
[01:28] Todo
    Just sometimes...
[01:30] Choro
    There's a good couple... Have that guy
    with the hot voice be the total uke...
[01:35] Oso
    Let's not involve the 3D world
    in your rotten delusions.
[01:36] Choro
    So filthy...
[01:37] Jyu
    I totally want to do someone right now.
[01:40] Five
    Not so loud!
[01:42] Kara
    I wonder what our pimples (fukidemono) are.
[01:44] Choro
    You mean "souvenirs (hikidemono)." 
    Ready to open them?
SIGN    Pildon Tokyo
[01:46] Oso
    Ch-Choroko! It's still the
    reception until you get home!
[01:51] Todo
    The usual. So don't need it.
[01:52] Ichi
    This ring is supposed to represent
    their eternal happiness.
[01:56] Ichi
    Who the hell cares?
[01:58] Jyu
    There's also...
[02:00] Oso
    What?!
[02:01] Kara
    They gave single people paired items?
[02:03] Kara
    Is this out of spite? Are they being spiteful?!
[02:06] Oso
    Damn it.
[02:07] Oso
    The souvenirs are tasteless, and weren't
    the groom's friends just as bad?
[02:11] Choro
    They were rude.
[02:13] Jyu
    They wouldn't talk to us at all.
[02:15] Ich
    They should have at least talked to us.
[02:17] Todo
    That's just good manners.
[02:18] Kara
    Seriously! You're totally right!
[02:20] Oso
    Let's get our gift money back.
[02:23] Five
    Yeah!
[02:24] Oso
    We'll throw in a fee for our
    troubles and get double back.
[02:26] Five
    Good idea!
SIGN    Iyami's Counterattack
[02:30] Iyami
    This is Iyami.
[02:32] Iya
    Getting to the point, there are things
    me doesn't like about this anime.
[02:36] Iyami
    The previous Osomatsu-kun 
    had me as the protagonist.
SIGN    Osomatsu-kun
[02:39] Iyami
    Children and adults alike
    were mimicking me's gag.
[02:43] Iyami
    But ever since it's been Osomatsu-san, 
    me's role has been cut way down!
[02:47] Iyami
    The sextuplets became the main characters!
[02:48] Iyami
    Sheeeh!
[02:50] Iyami
    They even have individual persons,
    even though they're sextuplets!
[02:51] Iyami
    Sheeeh!
[02:53] Iyami
    And idols! Sheeeh!
[02:56] Iaymi
    But fear not! Today is the day that me
    will return to being the protagonist!
[03:03] Iyami
    You want to see me's great
    comeback, don't you?
[03:06] Iyami
    Sheeeh!
SIGN    Bargain
[04:41] Ann
    All right, all of you losers out there,
[04:44] Ann
    did someone important
    yell at you again today?
SIGN    Iyami Kart
[04:46] Ann
    It's time for Iyami Kart, where they'll
[04:48] Ann
    race to see who'll be the protagonist 
    of the anime, Osomatsu-san.
[04:51] Ann
    Whoever wins will be the protagonist.
[04:53] Ann
    Popularity, personalities, disposition,
    education, divorce record, all mean nothing.
[04:56] Ann
    Whoever wins will be the
    protagonist starting next week.
[04:59] Ann
    Now, I'll explain the rules and course that
    everyone's probably wondering about...
SIGN    -You may use items up to 3 times -Bananas up to 300 yen -Shell Endorsement -In regards to Fappymatsuing... -You may use up to 4 tissues each time -One bottle of lube per person -Reinforcing the use of seatbelts month -No sauvage allowed -No gorillas may enter (doping allowed) -The staff is like a family and the studio  has a very at-home feel -Control over speed -No fucks allowed -You shouldn't choose someone  by their asshole
SIGN    -Each person is allowed up to 5 Sheeeh's -Let's make cute -You can hide your ugliness -Looking for ambitious people!! -Never pull back, flatter, or look back -Each person is allowed up to 30 oden -Do you prefer dogs or cats? -No full nudity allowed -This is pine, not XXX -Go to bed early the day before -More than briefs, less than boxers -Be careful when looking to the side  or falling asleep -This anime is at your own risk, please remember that -No taking the toilet paper
SIGN    -Nipple radius may only be up to 3cm -Racers' experience, age, sex, citizenship, education, and employment will not be questioned -Boxers or briefs? -Nay, I prefer the red loin cloth -Faito dayo!! -Normal driver's license is required -Bananas are included for snacks -Beware of falling nether regions -No taking ESP kitties allowed -Sheeeh!
[05:03] Ann
    And that's about it.
    Now let's introduce our racers.
[05:07] Ann
    Entry No. 1: Matsuno Osomatsu.
SIGN    Osokart
[05:10] Ann
    His machine is the Osokart. Considering 
    its name, it might be pretty slow (osoi).
[05:13] Oso
    We're the protagonist if we win?
    Of course I'm going to win.
[05:16] Oso
    I mean, I am the protagonist.
[05:17] Oso
    Seriously, who do you think has
    held up the show for this long—
[05:22] Ann
    And he doesn't have a single supporter.
    His popularity is surprisingly low.
[05:26] Oso
    Why?!
[05:27] Ann
    No. 2: Matsuno Karamatsu.
[05:29] Ann
    His machine is the Karamatsu AGOGO.
    Oh, so, so, so painful.
SIGN    Karamatsu
[05:32] Kara
    The protagonist, eh? All right, I accept.
[05:35] Kara
    When I become the protagonist,
    it'll be a new anime—
SIGN    Karamatsu's
[05:38] Ann
    No. 3.
[05:38] Kara
    Hey! I'm totally going to get rid of this
    pattern where I get coldly ignored!
[05:42] Ann
    Let's get to No. 3: Matsuno Choromatsu.
[05:45] Ann
    His machine is the Chorofappyski.
SIGN    Chorofappyski
[05:47] Choro
    I'm going to win, become the
    protagonist, and marry Totoko-chan!
[05:52] Choro
    You're super ultra cute, Totoko!
[05:54] Ann
    His excitement is on another
    level, that Fappymatsu.
[05:57] Ann
    No. 4: Matsuno Ichimatsu. His machine is...
SIGN    Padded Kimono
[05:59] Ich
    Actually, you don't have to introduce me.
[06:01] Ichi
    The protagonist? Totally not happening.
[06:02] Ichi
    I don't want attention from
    anyone. Ugh, this sucks.
[06:07] Ann
    He's renouncing his spot
    before we even start.
[06:09] Ann
    No. 5: Matsuno Jyushimatsu.
[06:11] Ann
    His machine is The Bullpen.
SIGN    The Bullpen
[06:12] Ann
    I'm pretty sure he doesn't
    understand the point of this race.
[06:14] Jyu
    What? But I'm the fastest.
[06:17] Ann
    Um, the point of the race is...
[06:18] Jyu
    I'm the fastest.
[06:20] Ann
    Alrighty, then.
[06:23] Ann
    No. 6: Matsuno Todomatsu.
[06:24] Ann
    His machine is the Totty Wagon. He's
    definitely misunderstood the point of this race.
[06:27] Todo
    Where should we go for a drive?
    Want to go see a waterfall?
[06:30] Todo
    I love looking at waterfalls.
[06:32] Ann
    I've never heard that before.
    Please let us know these things, Totty.
[06:34] Ann
    No. 7: Yowai Totoko.
[06:36] Totoko
    What? You get to be the protagonist
    if you win? Oh my gosh!
SIGN    Devil Shark
[06:40] Ann
    Her machine is the Devil Shark. She's out to kill.
[06:45] Ann
    The battle has already begun.
[06:47] Ann
    No. 8: Chibita. His machine is the
    Red Lamp Damn It. He's fired up.
SIGN    Oden
SIGN    Red Lamp Damn It
[06:51] Chibi
    I'm gonna win, you idjits.
[06:53] Chibi
    I'm gonna make this an oden-cooking
    show starting next week, damn it!
[06:57] Ann
    There's really no demand for that.
[06:58] Ann
    No. 9: The duo of Dekapan and Dayon.
[07:00] Ann
    Their machine is Best Friends.
SIGN    Best Friends
[07:03] Deka
    I don't like fighting.
[07:05] Dayon
    Let's have a fun drive.
[07:08] Ann
    Yeah, they're definitely plotting something.
[07:11] Ann
    No. 10: Hatabou. His machine is the Super Flag.
SIGN    Super Flag
[07:13] Ann
    He's letting his money do the talking.
[07:15] Hata
    Hatabou is number one, jo.
    You'll all be my employees, jo!
[07:19] Ann
    He's going after his rivals' asses.
[07:21] Ann
    Now, there are quite a few others:
[07:23] Ann
    Dad, Mom, Aida, Sacchin, Hashimoto
    Nya, Centaur, Sanematsu-san,
[07:26] Ann
    and so on will vigilantly
    pursue the protagonist role.
[07:40] Ann
    And now we have the one who
    started this race: Iyami.
[07:43] Ann
    His machine is the On-Land Interpersonal
    Massacre Combat Vehicle: Iyami the End.
SIGN    On-Land Interpersonal Massacre Combat Vehicle:  Iyami the End
[07:48] Oso
    What?! What the hell is that car?!
[07:50] Choro
    Is it even a car?
[07:51] Choro
    Hey! You can't be serious, Iyami!
[07:55] Iyami
    It's finally time for me to be the protagonist!
[07:58] Iyami
    Everyone, cheer me on...
[08:00] People
    That's not fair!
[08:01] Ann
    Well, it looks like Iyami has a combat vehicle.
[08:02] People
    Go home!
[08:03] Ann
    Looks like we'll be seeing some blood.
[08:05] Iyami
    Sheeeh!
[08:06] Ann
    Who will win the role of protagonist?
    Iyami Kart is about to begin!
[08:19] Ann
    And each of the cars is
    off to a spectacular start.
[08:22] Ann
    They're heading into the first corner.
[08:25] Ann
    Oh? Iyami's car hasn't started yet.
[08:27] Ann
    What could this mean?
[08:31] Iyami
    Once me pushes this button, it's all over.
[08:33] Iiyami
    Me will blow you all away with
    my vehicle traveling at 1,000 kph.
[08:39] Iya
    The end!
[08:45] Iya
    Why won't it launch?
[08:48] Ann
    This vehicle will self-destruct in one second.
[08:51] Iya
    Wha?
[08:57] Ann
    Oh? It exploded. What a riot.
[09:00] Deka
    We made some adjustments...
[09:01] Dayon
    ...before we started.
[09:04] Ann
    So they were plotting after all.
[09:06] Ann
    The scariest thing in the world:
    old guys who mean business.
[09:09] Ann
    This throws off the order.
[09:10] Ann
    Iyami, who started all this, has retired.
[09:13] Iyami
    N-Not yet. Me is not giving up.
[09:17] Iyami
    Me is going to win this race and 
    take back the previous Osomatsu!
[09:21] Iyami
    The protagonist is me!
[09:24] Ann
    Oh, my. It appears Iyami is back with
    a sense of duty that no one asked for.
[09:27] Ann
    But there's no way he can
    to catch up by running.
[09:30] Iyami
    Me still has my ultimate weapon.
[09:35] Ann
    This is the race to win the title of 
    protagonist of the anime Osomatsu-san,
[09:38] Ann
    the Iyami Kart.
[09:39] Ann
    The leaders are about to go over the mountain.
[09:41] Ann
    And Iyami is... at the very back.
[09:44] Iya
    Hold it!
[09:46] Jyu
    Muscle, muscle! Hustle, hustle!
[09:50] Hata
    Dajo, dajo, dajo!
[09:55] Chibi
    I'm not gonna let anyone in front of me!
[09:58] Oso
    Hey! What're you doing in front of me?
[10:02] Chibi
    I have reasons for wanting
    to be the protagonist!
[10:05] Oso
    What?
[10:05] Chbi
    I'll become the protagonist and find out if these
    three lines on my cheeks are whiskers or what!
[10:08] Chibi
    I'll use the remaining episodes to find
    the answer to that mystery, you idjits!
[10:12] Oso
    Uh, no one cares about that.
[10:14] Chibi
    I've been wondering about this ever
    since I was a kid, Akatsuka-sensei!
[10:18] Oso
    It's bothered you that much?!
[10:20] Chibi
    You idjit! Idjits!
[10:22] Oso
    Damn it!
[10:24] Chibi
    The he—
[10:24] Oso
    Hey, everyone, gather up!
[10:26] Chibi
    Hey! No fair, Osomatsu!
[10:28] Oso
    Hah. You may be able to win against me,
    but you can't win against all of us, Chibita!
[10:32] Oso
    That's how it's been ever since we were kids!
[10:35] Oso
    All right, you guys! Defeat the
    enemy that's in front of us.
[10:38] Five
    The enemy in front of us? Okay!
[10:42] Oso
    Huh? What?
[10:43] Oso
    What the heck is that shell?
[10:44] Five
    You should know what shells mean in races!
[10:48] Oso
    Why me?!
[10:53] Choro
    Of course you're our biggest enemy, you idiot!
[10:55] Kara
    Now we can put a period to that shitty reign.
[10:57] Ichi
    Good work.
[10:58] Todo
    Bye-bye, Osomatsu-niisan!
[11:01] Jyu
    I'm the fastest!
[11:03] Ann
    How can this be? They've committed
    genocide against their eldest brothers.
[11:06] Ann
    Those shitty Matsuno brothers.
[11:07] Oso
    I-I'm not gonna let them get away with thi—
[11:13] Oso
    Now you've done it! You've pissed me o—
[11:19] Oso
    I'll kill all of y—
[11:25] Ann
    Oh, and it looks like Osomatsu has died.
[11:28] Ann
    He will be the first one
    to drop out of the race.
[11:31] Choro
    Now the biggest scumball has died!
[11:33] Todo
    Nice call! Who knows what'd
    happen if we'd let him live?
[11:37] Kara
    Which means that I, the second brother,
    become the protagonist by default.
[11:41] Kara
    Very well. I accept.
[11:43] Kara
    Starting next week...
SIGN    Karamatsu
SIGN    The Gears of Love Start to Turn
[11:44] Kara
    The new anime:
[11:45] Kara
    Karamatsu of Love 
The Gears 
    of Love Start to Turn will begin.
[11:49] Kara
    What?!
[11:52] Ann
    And Karamatsu has died.
[11:54] Choro
    All right, now the second-biggest
    scumball has died.
[11:57] Todo
    A revolution's happening.
[11:59] Todo
    Since the oldest two are such shitheads,
[12:01] Todo
    the third brother, Choromatsu-niisan,
    had no choice but to be the responsible one.
[12:05] Todo
    That's why I can say from the
    bottom of my heart that I support
[12:08] Todo
    Choromatsu-niisan winning
    and being the protagonist.
[12:10] Choro
    T-Totty! Don't say that out of nowhere...
[12:13] Ichi
    You've had it rough because
    of those two shitheads, huh?
[12:16] Choro
    Ichimatsu...
[12:18] Choro
    Is it okay? Is it okay if I take
    over as the protagonist?
[12:21] Choro
    I've talked so much up to now.
[12:25] Todo
    I'll protect you, no matter what,
    Choromatsu-niisan. I'll make sure you win.
[12:32] Three
    Totoko-chan?!
[12:33] Toto
    Hey, you shitty, stupid, NEET v*****
    Fappyski brothers with tiny s!
[12:37] Choro
    Such a long insult!
[12:38] Toto
    Why the hell are you acting
[12:39] Toto
    like it's only natural that the main
    character is one of you guys?!
[12:42] Toto
    You're just a bunch of shitty NEET v* Fappyskis with tiny **s and false phmosis!
[12:47] Choro
    She said we have false phmosis!
[12:51] Choro
    Hey! Todomatsu, you bastard!
[12:56] Chibi
    T-Totoko-chan! I have no intention
    of fighting with you...
[13:00] Chibi
    The hell?! You idjit! Damn it!
[13:05] Toto
    I want to be popular!
[13:07] Toto
    I want more parts! The protagonist role!
[13:10] Choro
    Crap... She's a total demon.
[13:12] Icihi
    She's too cute.
[13:13] Choro
    Yeah, she's insanely cute.
[13:15] Ichi
    We have no choice.
[13:17] Toto
    Die!
[13:19] Choro
    Let's stop this. I don't want
    to hurt the one I love...
[13:23] Choo
    Huh?
[13:25] Choro
    Why didn't it work?!
[13:28] Toto
    I'm sick of your hot versions!
[13:33] Toto
    Ichimatsu!
[13:39] Ichi
    And then...
[13:41] Ichi
    There!
[13:44] Toto
    Thank you so much!
[13:47] Ann
    Ah, and it looks like Yowai
    Totoko has self-destructed.
[13:49] Ichi
    Crap... I went too far.
[13:51] Ann
    And so, the one currently in
    the lead is Matsuno Ichimatsu.
[13:54] Ichi
    Huh?
[13:54] Ann
    At this rate, he'll become the
    protagonist starting next week.
[13:55] Ichi
    Jyushimatsu? Todomatsu?
[13:57] Ann
    The new program, Ichimatsu-san, will begin,
SIGN    Ichimatsu-san
[14:01] Ich
    That's too heavy for me!
[14:03] Ann
    Oh, it looks like he self-destructed, too.
[14:05] Ann
    And so, the lead is now Matsuno Todomatsu.
[14:08] Todo
    What? I'm in the lead?
[14:10] Todo
    I was only driving, and I'm going to
    be the protagonist starting next week?
[14:13] Todo
    What am I going to do?
[14:15] Ann
    We have a shithead, ladies and gentlemen.
    This is truly a shithead right now.
[14:17] Todo
    Oh, well. I guess it can't be helped.
[14:18] Todo
    Starting next week, the new show will 
    just have to be Todomatsu-chan.
[14:27] Ann
    Uh-oh. As everyone expected,
    the Final Dayon has been unleashed.
[14:31] Dayon
    The act is over, you little brats.
[14:34] Deka
    We're gonna be the protagonists.
[14:36] Ann
    They're not even ending their
    sentences with their verbal tics now.
[14:39] Ann
    These old men mean business.
[14:40] Deka
    Die!
[14:43] Deka
    Start selling our merchandise, too, damn it!
[14:53] Both
    Sorry to disrupt your work, Onii-san.
[14:56] Dayon
    All around the world...
[14:57] Ann
    Now, will this hellish middle-aged
    anime really start next week?
[15:01] Ann
    Are we really okay with this?
[15:03] Iyami
    Not yet!
[15:05] Ann
    Oh, this voice is...
[15:07] Both
    Iyami!
[15:08] Iya
    H-How dare you two do this?!
[15:12] Ann
    Apparently Iyami has stolen
    Mr. Flag's car and finally caught up!
[15:16] Ann
    Oh, but he definitely took it up the ass...
[15:18] Deka
    Give it up, Iyami. We're gonna win.
[15:21] Iyami
    Win? Not one person is going to make
    it to the finish line of this race.
[15:26] Iyami
    Wake up!
[15:29] Iyami
    Me realized something.
    If me became the protagonist,
[15:32] Iyami
    if it became me's anime,
    there's no need for anyone else!
[15:39] Iyami
    Which means... you're all gonna die!
[15:43] Iya
    Sheeeh!
SIGN    Ero Max
[15:51] Deka
    It went in!
[15:54] Ann
    And the old men have fallen for it!
[15:56] Iyami
    Sheeeh! Me is not done yet!
SIGN    F6 Swamp
[16:02] Toto
    Thank you so much!
[16:06] Iyami
    Sheeeh! There!
SIGN    A Stable Life in Old Age
[16:11] Momdad
    We want that the most!
[16:13] Iya
    Sheh, sheh, sheh, sheh, sheh, sheh... Sheeeh!
[16:17] Ichi
    Huh?
[16:18] Kara
    Huh?
[16:20] Person
    I made bank off my affiliates again.
SIGN    Something or 
    Other 
    Symposium
[16:23] Youtube
    No one watches TV anymore.
[16:26] Guy
    Hey...
[16:29] Iyami
    This is the end!
[16:32] Iyami
    Sextuplets! Everyone else!
[16:37] Iyami
    Bye-bye!
[16:45] Chibi
    The he—
[16:46] Choro
    Huh?
[16:50] Hata
    Jo...
[16:54] Iyami
    Yes! Me has won!
[16:59] Iyam		I
    Now me is the protagonist!
    Every episode will be about me!
[17:03] Iyami
    I have taken back the good 
    old days of Osomatsu!
[17:06] ---
    Sheeeh!
[17:06] Ann
    Now, Iyami has turned all of his rivals
    into dust with his atom dismantling ray.
[17:08] Iyami
    Sheeeh!
[17:10] Ann
    He has secured his victory.
[17:10] Iyami
    Sheh, sheh, sheeeh!
[17:12] Iyami
    Sheeeh!
[17:14] Oso
    Whoa... Something insane is happening...
[17:17] Iyami
    Todomatsu!
[17:18] Oso
    I'm Osomatsu, damn it!
[17:20] Iyami
    H-How...
[17:21] Oso
    You totally don't play fair,
    using something like this.
[17:25] Oso
    You even killed my younger brothers.
[17:27] Iyami
    Me did it all.
[17:32] Oso
    Nice!
[17:33] Oso
    I mean, now all I've gotta do is kill you,
    and I get to keep the protagonist role.
[17:38] Ann
    And this one's a scumball, too.
[17:40] Ann
    It's truly scumball versus scumball.
[17:42] Ann
    No matter who wins, this anime has no future.
[17:45] Oso
    I was just thinking that it'd be
    a pain to kill everyone,
[17:48] Oso
    so this is perfect.
[17:49] Oso
    Like hell I'm going to let
    you be the protagonist!
[17:52] Oso
    Say your prayers!
[17:58] Iyami
    Sheeeh!
[18:02] Iyami
    Sheeeh!
[18:07] Iyami
    The protagonist is me...
[18:08] Oso
    It's me, damn it!
[18:10] Iyami
    Me...
[18:10] Oso
    It's me!
[18:12] Oso
    You bastard!
[18:19] Oso
    Damn it...
[18:22] Iya
    Wait.
[18:24] Iyami
    It's not over yet.
[18:27] Iiyami
    Behold all of the spite me has saved for this day!
[18:37] Mecha
    Me will be the protagonist!
[18:40] Oso
    What?!
[18:41] Mech
    Sheh.
[18:42] Ann
    It appears Iyami has modified
    himself to rejoin the fight.
[18:45] Ann
    That's some spite.
[18:47] Mech
    Sheeeh!
[18:50] Oso
    Y-You bastard!
[18:53] Oso
    Iyami!
[18:54] Mech
    Sheeeh!
[18:55] Oso
    Hold it, Iyami!
SIGN    Prank 
    Successful
[19:00] Mech
    Sheeeh!
[19:07] Hata
    Jo.
[19:08] Oso
    Iyami! Hey, you're...
[19:11] ---
    Sheeeh! Sheeeh!
[19:15] Oso
    What? He can't even hold
    a conversation anymore!
[19:16] Mech
    Me is the protagonist!
[19:17] Oso
    Uh, I don't think you can, looking like that!
[19:22] Mech
    Sheeeh!
[19:26] Oso
    Seriously, anything goes?!
[19:28] Iyami
    Sheeeh!
[19:41] Ann
    Hm? Hey, that's...
[19:43] Ann
    It seems the ones who
    had their atoms dismantled
[19:43] All
    Protagonist... Protagonist...
[19:45] Ann
    are slowly making a comeback.
[19:47] Ann
    Is this how spiteful they are
    about becoming the protagonist?
[19:50] Ann
    I can't say I don't like it.
[19:51] Oso
    Whoa, what the hell?! Wh-Wh-What?!
[19:55] Mech
    Sheeeh?
[19:56] Zombies
    Protagonist... Protagonist...
[20:04] Oso
    It's not working!
[20:05] Mech
    Sheeeh!
[20:06] Mech
    Sheeeh!
[20:11] Ann
    Now it's really getting entertaining!
[20:17] Jyu
    You're the star today.
[20:20] Ann
    Now the race is heading into its final stages.
[20:24] Ann
    What a hellish image...
[20:25] Ann
    To think that the new protagonist will be
    born from this lot is even more hellish.
[20:31] Toto
    I... I want to be famous... and fawned over!
[20:35] Chibi
    The secret of these three lines...
[20:38] Deka
    The Dekapan Cluster is waiting...
[20:41] Dayon
    I want to hold a woman!
[20:45] Oso
    I want to be popular...
[20:47] Kara
    I want to be popular!
[20:49] Choro
    I want to be accepted!
[20:51] Todo
    I want to be noticed!
[20:53] Ichi
    I want to be complimented!
[20:55] Hata
    I want more parts... jo.
[21:05] Jyu
    Thanks for your hard work!
[21:06] Jyu
    Thank you... Thanks...
[21:12] Ann
    And the only ones left are these two, after all.
[21:15] Ann
    Who will win the title of protagonist?
[21:27] Mech
    M-Me will...
[21:30] Oso
    I will...
[21:49] Ann
    What's this?!
[21:51] Ann
    The winner is Hijirisawa Shonosuke!
[21:53] Ann
    What a comeback!
[21:54] Ann
    The new protagonist starting
    next week has been decided!
[21:58] Jyu
    I'm gon' make you my heirloom!
[22:03] Both
    Sheeeh!
SIGN    End
SIGN    Next Time
SIGN    (Supposedly)
SIGN    Hijirisawa Shonosuke-san