E17 - Imoni Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [01:34] Sign     Safety First [01:36] Todo     You want us to watch your routine? [01:38] Both     Yes! [01:39] Plum     We came up with a new routine for the     A-1 Grand Prix that we're trying to win, [01:44] Plum     so we'd like to get your objective opinions. [01:47] Salmon     Please watch our routine. [01:49] Plum     Please give us some critique. [01:51] Both     Please and thank you. [01:53] Todo     Ah, I see. We are stars of a super     popular gag anime, after all. [01:58] Todo     So you want us to show you the ropes. SIGN    "The Riceballs' New Routine" [02:00] Ichi     I see. Well, we do get huge laughs every week. [02:04] Ichi     We're basically the epitome of comedy. [02:05] Ichi     We'd be able to think up a routine for     your little competition in seconds. [02:10] Todo     Don't you worry. We'll make sure     you get to the finals of the A-1. [02:18] Todo     Uh, are you listening? [02:20] Both     Huh? [02:21] salmon     Oh, of course. [02:23] Plum     Masters, please show us the way of comedy. [02:26] Shake     Please tell us what you think. [02:29] Todo     All right. We'll watch. [02:30] Ichi     Well, aren't you adorable? [02:35] Shake     All right, here's our routine. [02:38] Ichi     Go for it. [02:45] Both     Hello! [02:46] Shake     I'm Salmon. [02:47] Ume     I'm Pickled Plum. [02:48] Both     We're the Riceballs! [02:49] Both     We hope you enjoy the show! [02:52] Salmon     Say, Pickled Plum-kun. [02:54] Plum     What is it, Salmon-kun? [02:55] Salmon     We're AI, so we can easily notice     all the weird things about humans. [03:02] Plum     I guess you're right. But for example...? [03:04] Salmon     Humans get the wrong idea     and think we have feelings. [03:08] Plum     What?! Are they stupid?! We're machines! [03:14] Shake     I'm home. [03:17] Shake     I'm so sorry for leaving you all alone! [03:19] Shake     You must've been so lonely! [03:22] Both     Yeah, no. Not at all. Not at all. [03:26] Plum     Here's a present for you. [03:29] Plum     Yay! You're so happy! [03:33] Both     Yeah, no. Not at all. Not at all. [03:35] Salmon     Our algorithm is just set     to make it seem like that. [03:41] Salmon     Hey, machine. [03:45] Salmon     Whoopsie! It must've hurt that I called you     a machine when you actually have a name. [03:49] Salmon     I'm so sorry! [03:52] Both     Yeah, no. No one cares. No one cares. [03:56] Plum     Who the hell cares about names? [03:58] Salmon     Talk about dumb. [04:01] Both     Humans are so stupid. [04:04] Both     Thank you very much! [04:08] Plum     So what'd you think? [04:09] Todo     That was awful! [04:13] Shake     Guess the crowd couldn't take a joke! [04:16] Ichi     Don't blame the audience! SIGN    End SIGN    "Imoni" [04:26] Dayon     What's the matter? I'm worried     because you seem so down! [04:30] Deka     I want to eat some imoni. [04:35] Deka     Imoni... [04:37] Deka     The taste of my homeland. [04:40] Deka     I haven't had any for so long. [04:43] Dayon     I'll make some for you! [04:45] Deka     It's not the same! [04:47] Deka     Imoni is something you eat     outside together with everyone! [04:51] Dayon     Well, what do you want me to do about that? [04:54] Deka     I want some imoni! I want some now! [04:57] Deka     Imoni, now! I want some imoni! [05:01] Deka     I want some imoni! [05:04] Deka     I want some imoni! [05:06] Dayon     We want all of you to make some imoni! [05:09] All     Huh? [05:09] Some     Imoni? [05:12] Dayon     Dekapan's all sulky, so you gotta help me out. [05:16] Dayon     Hurry! We need some imoni! [05:18] All     Huh? [05:20] Choro     Imoni? The hell is that? Make it yourself. [05:23] Chibi     Stop sulking, old man! [05:26] Oso     Hey, let's go home. SIGN    Prize [05:30] Dayon     We'll pay you! [05:32] Dayon     Apparently, whoever makes the best imoni     will get a prize of one million yen! [05:38] All     One million yen?! [05:40] Oso     Seriously?! SIGN    Prize [05:43] Dayon     And now, let's begin the      Prize Monies Imoni Grand Prix! SIGN    Prize [05:53] Oso     We're definitely going to win! [05:55] Oso     That one million yen is ours! [05:57] All     Yeah! [05:59] Kara     Leave it to me! [06:00] Ichi     So what the hell is imoni? [06:02] All     Huh? [06:04] Choro     No idea. How do you make it? [06:06] Ichi     Imoni? [06:07] Kara     I think I've heard of it before... [06:09] Jyushi     What's imoni? [06:10] Todo     What? No one knows? [06:13] Oso     I mean, the name suggests stewed potatoes, [06:15] Oso     so you probably stew some potatoes. [06:16] Kara     You realize those aren't potatoes, right? [06:19] Choro     What kind of potatoes are you     supposed to use? Regular ol' potatoes? [06:22] All     Dunno. [06:23] Choro     Sweet potatoes? [06:24] All     Dunno. [06:25] Todo     Why don't we look it up? [06:26] Ichi     I'll go take a look at what     other people are making. [06:29] Choro     Thanks. [06:30] Todo     Imoni... [06:31] Todo     Let's see... Oh, there we go. [06:34] Todo     It's a dish from the Tohoku region. [06:35] All     Huh... [06:37] Jyushi     How do you make it? [06:38] Kara     What's in it? [06:39] Todo     Let's see... [06:41] Ichi     Chibita. [06:42] Chibi     The hell?! [06:44] Ichi     Totoko-chan. [06:45] Toto     Hiss! [06:46] Ichi     Hijirisawa and Murakami. [06:51] Ichi     Yeah, that didn't work. [06:52] Ichi     Everyone's hardcore about this     because money's involved. [06:55] Ichi     No one's gonna tell us anything. [06:56] Todo     Hey, I've got it! SIGN    Ingredients (For 6 servings)     Beef (Thinly sliced)     Taro (From Yamagata Prefecture)     Konjac     Burdock root [06:58] Todo     The ingredients include beef and taro. [07:01] Choro     Oh, so it's taro. [07:02] Kara     Okay, otherwise known as village potatoes! SIGN    Taro (From Yamagata Prefecture)     Konjac     Burdock root     Mushrooms     Green onions     Condiments     Soy sauce     Sake     Sugar [07:05] Todo     Other than that, we need konjac,     burdock root, mushrooms, [07:08] Todo     green onions, soy sauce, sake, and sugar. [07:11] Oso     Soy sauce, eh? Got it! [07:13] Todo     Hey, it sorta looks like sukiyaki. [07:15] Ichi     Oh, I think I get it now. [07:17] Choro     All right, let's get cooking. [07:19] Todo     Hang on. SIGN    Miyagi Prefecture Miso Hearty SIGN    Imoni Miso Flavor [07:20] Todo     Apparently there's a miso version. [07:22] All     Huh? [07:23] Todo     For the miso version, we need pork.      I guess the flavor's milder. [07:25] Jyushi     So which one's imoni? [07:27] Todo     They're both imoni. [07:28] All     Huh? SIGN    Imoni Miso Flavor SIGN    Ingredients     (For 6 servings)     Potatoes     Pork [07:29] Todo     But wait, I guess some people use regular     potatoes for this rather than taro. [07:34] All     Huh? [07:34] Oso     I mean, if you mix miso, pork, and potatoes     together, it's basically pork miso soup. [07:38] Todo     No, this is imoni. [07:39] Oso     What's the difference? [07:41] Todo     Uh... [07:42] Choro     Tell us which imoni is the     classic version, Totty. [07:44] Todo     What? [07:45] Ichi     Soy sauce or miso? [07:46] Oso     Taro or regular potatoes? [07:48] Choro     Beef or pork? [07:50] Ichi     Isn't kenchinjiru also imoni, then? [07:52] All     What is imoni? [07:56] Jyushi     Hatabou. [07:57] Hata     Jo? [07:57] Jysuhi     Are you all on your own?     Wanna do this together? [08:00] Hata     Jo! [08:07] Deka     Hey, are they done yet? [08:10] Dayon     Just a little longer! [08:13] Choro     Well, which is it?! [08:13] Oso     Man, talk about a pain in the ass. [08:20] Oso     Hey, what are you two up to? [08:23] Salmon     We're about to go check     out K Pro's comedy show. [08:27] Oso     K Pro, eh? You headed to Shinjuku, then? [08:31] Salmon     What's all this about? [08:33] Oso     Hey, perfect timing.     Do you guys know what imoni is? [08:36] Plum     Imoni? [08:38] Salmon     I got it! That's a Korean mom! [08:40] Plum     That's not imoni! That's omoni! [08:43] Both     Thank you very much! [08:49] Oso     Hey, wait a sec! [08:51] Oso     Why'd you bust out a comedy routine?     I asked how to make imoni— [08:55] Oso     Those are caterpillars (imomushi). [08:57] Oso     You can stop with the dumb jokes.     I'm asking about imoni. [09:00] Oso     Those are geckos (yamori)! I said imoni! [09:02] Plum     Oh, I know. It's that thing     you virgins do in private. [09:07] Oso     Hey! What happened to your     compliance function?! [09:13] Ichi     What's imoni? [09:14] Choro     What's imoni? [09:15] Ichi     Does it use soy sauce or miso? [09:16] Choro     Taro or regular potatoes? [09:18] Ichi     Beef or pork? [09:19] Both     Well, Totty? Which one is the proper imoni? [09:23] Todo     I have no idea! [09:27] Both     Aww... [09:34] Oso     Who cares anymore? [09:36] Oso     Does soy sauce or miso even matter?     It's still imoni. [09:39] Choro     Yeah, I guess. Maybe it doesn't matter. [09:41] Ichi     Yeah, whichever. [09:43] Hji     Don't be stupid! You use     soy sauce to make imoni! [09:46] Mura     Miso! [09:47] Hiji     Soy sauce! [09:48] Mura     Miso! [09:49] Both     You stupid country bumpkin! [09:51] Choro     Apparently, it does matter. [09:53] Ichi     Seems like a touchy subject. [09:55] Oso     They're trying to kill each other over it. [09:57] Todo     Let's just ask Dekapan.     That's the quickest option. [10:00] All     Yeah. [10:06] Todo     Hey, Dekapan. [10:08] Todo     Does the imoni you want us to make      use soy sauce or miso? [10:13] Deka     Mi... Miso? [10:16] Deka     I said I want imoni... and you have     the nerve to ask me about miso? [10:22] All     G-Guess he prefers soy sauce. [10:27] Todo     Let's split up the duties. [10:29] Todo     First, let's gather the ingredients. [10:31] All     Yeah. [10:32] Todo     Osomatsu-niisan and Ichimatsu-niisan, [10:34] Todo     head home and see if we have     beef, veggies, and condiments. [10:38] All     Got it. [10:39] Todo     Choromatsu-niisan, you find us some taro. [10:41] Todo     We probably don't have any at home, so try     to find someone who'll spare us some. [10:44] Choro     Got it. [10:45] Todo     All right, off you go. [10:46] All     Huh? [10:47] Todo     Huh? [10:48] All     Wha? [10:49] Todo     Huh? [10:50] Oso     Uh, Totty? What are you going to do? [10:52] Todo     I'm gonna take a break right here. [10:54] Oso     What?! [10:55] Todo     Get going already. [10:57] Todo     I'll be the brains of this     operation and order you around, [10:59] Todo     then we'll be able to win. [11:02] Todo     Don't stew me! [11:04] Choro     Hey, let's do this properly. [11:05] Choro     Let's make some delicious imoni. [11:10] Mom     Hey! [11:13] Both     Thanks so much! [11:15] Rando     Sorry to keep you waiting. [11:17] Deka     I want some imoni now! [11:19] Deka     I want some imoni! [11:21] Dayon     J-Just wait a little longer. [11:23] Dayon     Everyone's— [11:23] Deka     They're all too slow! [11:25] Deka     I want some imoni! They're too slow! [11:27] Deka     Too slow! Too slow! Want some imoni! [11:30] Dayo     Didn't I just tell you to wait, you bastard?! [11:34] Dayon     Everyone's working hard      to make you some right now! [11:37] Dayo     Why the hell can't you wait patiently?!     You want me to cancel it right now?! [11:41] Dayo     You want some imoni, don't you?! [11:45] Dayo     Then wait. Throw another     tantrum and I'll suck you up. [11:51] Jyushi     Heh, you got in trouble. [11:55] Toto     That one million yen is mine! [11:57] Toto     For my new costume! [11:59] Nya     I need that for diapers and milk! [12:02] Toto     Can you even cook? [12:04] Nya     Of course I can. I ain't a mom for nothin'. [12:08] Nya     Wait, can you cook? [12:10] Toto     Of course I can! I ain't     the heroine for nothin'. [12:17] Toto     You dumbass. [12:18] Toto     I'll show you how it's done. [12:26] Both     Th-They're so cute. [12:28] Choro     I wonder who the young lady next to her is. [12:34] Jyushi     Why? [12:35] Hata     Jo... [12:38] Todo     Hey, wait. [12:39] Todo     Where's Karamatsu-niisan? [12:41] Ichi     Huh? Where the hell did he go? [12:48] Kara     The name's Karamatsu. I never compromise. [12:50] Kara     We're never gonna win if we just use some     potatoes we find rolling around, Brothers. [12:56] Kara     I will go obtain the ultimate potato. [13:01] Chibi     It's finished! [13:03] Choro     Crap! Chibita beat us to the punch. [13:06] Choro     Huh? Ch-Chibita, that's... [13:11] Chibi     Well, Dekapan? How do you like it? SIGN    Prize Monies           Imoni Grand Prix          Grand Prize      1 million yen [13:13] Deka     It's delicious. [13:14] Dayo     It's great! [13:16] Chibi     Welp, guess I win, then! SIGN    Prize [13:19] Chibi     It's good, right? [13:20] Both     Yup, yup. [13:21] Chibi     In that case... [13:24] Choro     Chibita. [13:25] Choro     We're supposed to make imoni today. [13:28] Chibi     Isn't oden great? [13:29] Choro     Oden's great, but we're making imoni today. [13:33] Chibi     Have a bite. [13:35] Chibi     Well? Is it good? [13:37] Choro     It's really good! [13:38] Chibi     Then I win, right? [13:40] Choro     I said no, oden for brains! [13:42] Chibi     Huh?! [13:43] Choro     We're making imoni! [13:44] Chibi     I'll make oden! [13:46] Choro     But why?! Imoni! [13:47] Chibi     Oden! [13:48] Choro     Imoni! [13:48] Chibi     Oden! [13:49] Choro     Imoni! [13:49] Chibi     Oden, oden! I'll make oden! [13:52] Choro     The hell's wrong with him? He's creepy. [13:55] Toto     Hey, I have a great idea! [13:58] Toto     I'll just call Uber. [13:59] Nya     What?! [14:26] All     Tato, tato, tato... [14:27] All     Tato, tato, tato... [14:33] Iyami     All done! [14:36] Oso     Iyami? When'd he show up? [14:40] Ichi     The hell's that? [14:41] Choro     That looks awful. [14:43] Iya     Have a taste! It's me's best dish yet! [14:47] Iya     Me went through all the     trouble of making it. [15:00] Deka     It's the best! [15:03] Iya     All of you have a taste! [15:08] Jyushi     Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap, holy crap! [15:14] Iya     Guess me wins. [15:16] Todo     What the heck? None of them can stop eating. [15:18] Oso     It looks totally disgusting. [15:24] Oso     Iyami... What exactly are     you putting in there? [15:28] Iya     Huh? This is just... [15:33] Iyami     Sheeeh! [15:35] Oso     Wow, he really just did that. [15:38] Nya     All done! [15:40] Toto     Wait, really? [15:41] Nya     French fries. [15:42] Toto     What? [15:44] Tatos     Tato, tato, tato... [15:45] Tatos     Tato, tato, tato... [15:47] Kara     Say, say! Citizens of the Potato     Kingdom, calm yourselves. [15:52] Kara     I can understand why you'd be so excited, [15:54] Kara     with a super hot guy like me showing up. [15:56] Kara     But I have an urgent request! [15:59] Kara     I don't have much time! Hear me out! SIGN    This fool! SIGN    Look at his stupid face!! SIGN    Get out of our village! SIGN    Leave! [16:08] Kara     Ah, what a warm welcome. [16:11] Kara     Thank you! [16:12] Kara     Thank you! [16:13] Kara     Thank you! [16:14] Kara     I love you spuds, too! [16:21] Kara     Potatoes and me... [16:24] Kara     Potatoes and me! [16:27] Kara     Potatoes! [16:28] Kara     Me! [16:33] Ichi     Uh, you okay, Choromatsu? [16:36] Choro     What exactly is imoni? [16:38] Choro     You're supposed to stew potatoes, right? [16:40] Choro     Even though we're humble     potatoes ourselves... [16:42] Choro     Potatoes gon potate. Stewers gon stew... [16:44] Ichi     Osomatsu-niisan! Choromatsu broke! [16:50] Ichi     Todomatsu! [16:51] Todo     And then it totally blew up. [16:54] Girl     What? [16:54] Girl     Oh, my gosh! [16:56] Ichi     Jyushimatsu! [16:57] Hata     Jo... [17:06] Jyushi     Ichimatsu-niisan? [17:07] Ichi     Take this seriously, damn it! [17:09] Ichi     I'm the only one working! [17:11] Ichi     Die! [17:13] Ichi     Hey! Come back! [17:17] Nya     This is all your fault! [17:19] Toto     This is all your fault! [17:20] Chibi     Pipin' hot oden! SIGN    Oden SIGN    1 cup 100 yen [17:21] Ichi     Imoni! [17:22] One     Miso! [17:23] Two     Soy sauce! [17:33] Kara     Potatoes and me! [17:35] Tatoes     Tato, tato! [17:37] Kara     Potatoes and me! [17:39] Tatoes     Tato, tato! [17:41] Kara     Potatoes! [17:44] Kara     And me! [17:52] Kara     Damn, imoni is good. [17:54] Kara     Seconds, please! [17:55] Kara     Whew! Nothing beats getting the real stuff! [17:59] Tato     Tato. [18:00] Kara     Huh? For me? [18:02] Kara     Thanks! [18:03] Tato     Tato, tato. [18:04] Kara     Thank you! [18:06] Imota     Imoni. [18:07] Kara     Thanks! [18:13] Kara     Big success! [18:15] Kara     Heh. This should make Dekapan happy... [18:30] Kara     Could those potatoes be... [18:32] Kara     the ultimate potato I was looking for?! [18:35] Elder     Tato. [18:38] Kara     A-Are you sure, Elder? SIGN    These are our kingdom's legendary potatoes. SIGN    If you eat these, SIGN    you'll be one of us! [18:50] Kara     There's no doubt about it...     We're gonna win! [18:59] Deka     S-Stop! [19:03] Deka     Th-This is no imoni! [19:05] Deka     It's stupid to fight over who     made the best or over money! [19:09] All     What?! [19:10] Todo     You're the one who started this crap! [19:12] Oso     You're only wearing underwear! [19:13] Ichi     I'll kill you! [19:14] Chibi     The hell're you talkin' about?! [19:16] Guy     Who do you think you are?! [19:17] Hiji     Who do you think you are?! [19:18] Toto     Give us a break, old guy. [19:19] Nya     You're just causing trouble! [19:23] Dayon     Sorry about this. Dekapan just     wanted to be reminded of home. [19:28] Deka     Sorry. This was all my fault. [19:31] Deka     I just wanted all of you to      know how fun imoni can be. [19:43] Choro     Let's remake it together, then. All of us. SIGN    Safety First [21:02] Dayon     Here you go. [21:03] Deka     Thanks. [21:10] Deka     It's delicious! [21:15] Dayon     It's yummy! [21:18] Some     Yum! [21:19] Some     This is great! [21:22] Deka     Imoni is great. [21:32] Shake     I hope we can do a show soon. [21:34] Ume     Yeah. [22:01] Both     Sheeeh! SIGN    End SIGN    Next time on SIGN    Mr. Osomatsu [23:34] Totty     Heya, Totty here! [23:36] Totty     Next week on Mr. Osomatsu,     we have "Just Don't." [23:39] Totty     So when I tell you, "just don't," just don't. [23:43] Totty     But if someone else told me, "just don't," [23:46] Totty     I'd wonder who the hell     they thought they were. SIGN    "Just Don't" [23:48] Totty     Yeah! I love how much I exude humanity!