E17 - Imoni
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:34] Sign
Safety First
[01:36] Todo
You want us to watch your routine?
[01:38] Both
Yes!
[01:39] Plum
We came up with a new routine for the
A-1 Grand Prix that we're trying to win,
[01:44] Plum
so we'd like to get your objective opinions.
[01:47] Salmon
Please watch our routine.
[01:49] Plum
Please give us some critique.
[01:51] Both
Please and thank you.
[01:53] Todo
Ah, I see. We are stars of a super
popular gag anime, after all.
[01:58] Todo
So you want us to show you the ropes.
SIGN "The Riceballs' New Routine"
[02:00] Ichi
I see. Well, we do get huge laughs every week.
[02:04] Ichi
We're basically the epitome of comedy.
[02:05] Ichi
We'd be able to think up a routine for
your little competition in seconds.
[02:10] Todo
Don't you worry. We'll make sure
you get to the finals of the A-1.
[02:18] Todo
Uh, are you listening?
[02:20] Both
Huh?
[02:21] salmon
Oh, of course.
[02:23] Plum
Masters, please show us the way of comedy.
[02:26] Shake
Please tell us what you think.
[02:29] Todo
All right. We'll watch.
[02:30] Ichi
Well, aren't you adorable?
[02:35] Shake
All right, here's our routine.
[02:38] Ichi
Go for it.
[02:45] Both
Hello!
[02:46] Shake
I'm Salmon.
[02:47] Ume
I'm Pickled Plum.
[02:48] Both
We're the Riceballs!
[02:49] Both
We hope you enjoy the show!
[02:52] Salmon
Say, Pickled Plum-kun.
[02:54] Plum
What is it, Salmon-kun?
[02:55] Salmon
We're AI, so we can easily notice
all the weird things about humans.
[03:02] Plum
I guess you're right. But for example...?
[03:04] Salmon
Humans get the wrong idea
and think we have feelings.
[03:08] Plum
What?! Are they stupid?! We're machines!
[03:14] Shake
I'm home.
[03:17] Shake
I'm so sorry for leaving you all alone!
[03:19] Shake
You must've been so lonely!
[03:22] Both
Yeah, no. Not at all. Not at all.
[03:26] Plum
Here's a present for you.
[03:29] Plum
Yay! You're so happy!
[03:33] Both
Yeah, no. Not at all. Not at all.
[03:35] Salmon
Our algorithm is just set
to make it seem like that.
[03:41] Salmon
Hey, machine.
[03:45] Salmon
Whoopsie! It must've hurt that I called you
a machine when you actually have a name.
[03:49] Salmon
I'm so sorry!
[03:52] Both
Yeah, no. No one cares. No one cares.
[03:56] Plum
Who the hell cares about names?
[03:58] Salmon
Talk about dumb.
[04:01] Both
Humans are so stupid.
[04:04] Both
Thank you very much!
[04:08] Plum
So what'd you think?
[04:09] Todo
That was awful!
[04:13] Shake
Guess the crowd couldn't take a joke!
[04:16] Ichi
Don't blame the audience!
SIGN End
SIGN "Imoni"
[04:26] Dayon
What's the matter? I'm worried
because you seem so down!
[04:30] Deka
I want to eat some imoni.
[04:35] Deka
Imoni...
[04:37] Deka
The taste of my homeland.
[04:40] Deka
I haven't had any for so long.
[04:43] Dayon
I'll make some for you!
[04:45] Deka
It's not the same!
[04:47] Deka
Imoni is something you eat
outside together with everyone!
[04:51] Dayon
Well, what do you want me to do about that?
[04:54] Deka
I want some imoni! I want some now!
[04:57] Deka
Imoni, now! I want some imoni!
[05:01] Deka
I want some imoni!
[05:04] Deka
I want some imoni!
[05:06] Dayon
We want all of you to make some imoni!
[05:09] All
Huh?
[05:09] Some
Imoni?
[05:12] Dayon
Dekapan's all sulky, so you gotta help me out.
[05:16] Dayon
Hurry! We need some imoni!
[05:18] All
Huh?
[05:20] Choro
Imoni? The hell is that? Make it yourself.
[05:23] Chibi
Stop sulking, old man!
[05:26] Oso
Hey, let's go home.
SIGN Prize
[05:30] Dayon
We'll pay you!
[05:32] Dayon
Apparently, whoever makes the best imoni
will get a prize of one million yen!
[05:38] All
One million yen?!
[05:40] Oso
Seriously?!
SIGN Prize
[05:43] Dayon
And now, let's begin the
Prize Monies Imoni Grand Prix!
SIGN Prize
[05:53] Oso
We're definitely going to win!
[05:55] Oso
That one million yen is ours!
[05:57] All
Yeah!
[05:59] Kara
Leave it to me!
[06:00] Ichi
So what the hell is imoni?
[06:02] All
Huh?
[06:04] Choro
No idea. How do you make it?
[06:06] Ichi
Imoni?
[06:07] Kara
I think I've heard of it before...
[06:09] Jyushi
What's imoni?
[06:10] Todo
What? No one knows?
[06:13] Oso
I mean, the name suggests stewed potatoes,
[06:15] Oso
so you probably stew some potatoes.
[06:16] Kara
You realize those aren't potatoes, right?
[06:19] Choro
What kind of potatoes are you
supposed to use? Regular ol' potatoes?
[06:22] All
Dunno.
[06:23] Choro
Sweet potatoes?
[06:24] All
Dunno.
[06:25] Todo
Why don't we look it up?
[06:26] Ichi
I'll go take a look at what
other people are making.
[06:29] Choro
Thanks.
[06:30] Todo
Imoni...
[06:31] Todo
Let's see... Oh, there we go.
[06:34] Todo
It's a dish from the Tohoku region.
[06:35] All
Huh...
[06:37] Jyushi
How do you make it?
[06:38] Kara
What's in it?
[06:39] Todo
Let's see...
[06:41] Ichi
Chibita.
[06:42] Chibi
The hell?!
[06:44] Ichi
Totoko-chan.
[06:45] Toto
Hiss!
[06:46] Ichi
Hijirisawa and Murakami.
[06:51] Ichi
Yeah, that didn't work.
[06:52] Ichi
Everyone's hardcore about this
because money's involved.
[06:55] Ichi
No one's gonna tell us anything.
[06:56] Todo
Hey, I've got it!
SIGN Ingredients (For 6 servings)
Beef (Thinly sliced)
Taro (From Yamagata Prefecture)
Konjac
Burdock root
[06:58] Todo
The ingredients include beef and taro.
[07:01] Choro
Oh, so it's taro.
[07:02] Kara
Okay, otherwise known as village potatoes!
SIGN Taro (From Yamagata Prefecture)
Konjac
Burdock root
Mushrooms
Green onions
Condiments
Soy sauce
Sake
Sugar
[07:05] Todo
Other than that, we need konjac,
burdock root, mushrooms,
[07:08] Todo
green onions, soy sauce, sake, and sugar.
[07:11] Oso
Soy sauce, eh? Got it!
[07:13] Todo
Hey, it sorta looks like sukiyaki.
[07:15] Ichi
Oh, I think I get it now.
[07:17] Choro
All right, let's get cooking.
[07:19] Todo
Hang on.
SIGN Miyagi Prefecture Miso Hearty
SIGN Imoni Miso Flavor
[07:20] Todo
Apparently there's a miso version.
[07:22] All
Huh?
[07:23] Todo
For the miso version, we need pork.
I guess the flavor's milder.
[07:25] Jyushi
So which one's imoni?
[07:27] Todo
They're both imoni.
[07:28] All
Huh?
SIGN Imoni Miso Flavor
SIGN Ingredients
(For 6 servings)
Potatoes
Pork
[07:29] Todo
But wait, I guess some people use regular
potatoes for this rather than taro.
[07:34] All
Huh?
[07:34] Oso
I mean, if you mix miso, pork, and potatoes
together, it's basically pork miso soup.
[07:38] Todo
No, this is imoni.
[07:39] Oso
What's the difference?
[07:41] Todo
Uh...
[07:42] Choro
Tell us which imoni is the
classic version, Totty.
[07:44] Todo
What?
[07:45] Ichi
Soy sauce or miso?
[07:46] Oso
Taro or regular potatoes?
[07:48] Choro
Beef or pork?
[07:50] Ichi
Isn't kenchinjiru also imoni, then?
[07:52] All
What is imoni?
[07:56] Jyushi
Hatabou.
[07:57] Hata
Jo?
[07:57] Jysuhi
Are you all on your own?
Wanna do this together?
[08:00] Hata
Jo!
[08:07] Deka
Hey, are they done yet?
[08:10] Dayon
Just a little longer!
[08:13] Choro
Well, which is it?!
[08:13] Oso
Man, talk about a pain in the ass.
[08:20] Oso
Hey, what are you two up to?
[08:23] Salmon
We're about to go check
out K Pro's comedy show.
[08:27] Oso
K Pro, eh? You headed to Shinjuku, then?
[08:31] Salmon
What's all this about?
[08:33] Oso
Hey, perfect timing.
Do you guys know what imoni is?
[08:36] Plum
Imoni?
[08:38] Salmon
I got it! That's a Korean mom!
[08:40] Plum
That's not imoni! That's omoni!
[08:43] Both
Thank you very much!
[08:49] Oso
Hey, wait a sec!
[08:51] Oso
Why'd you bust out a comedy routine?
I asked how to make imoni—
[08:55] Oso
Those are caterpillars (imomushi).
[08:57] Oso
You can stop with the dumb jokes.
I'm asking about imoni.
[09:00] Oso
Those are geckos (yamori)! I said imoni!
[09:02] Plum
Oh, I know. It's that thing
you virgins do in private.
[09:07] Oso
Hey! What happened to your
compliance function?!
[09:13] Ichi
What's imoni?
[09:14] Choro
What's imoni?
[09:15] Ichi
Does it use soy sauce or miso?
[09:16] Choro
Taro or regular potatoes?
[09:18] Ichi
Beef or pork?
[09:19] Both
Well, Totty? Which one is the proper imoni?
[09:23] Todo
I have no idea!
[09:27] Both
Aww...
[09:34] Oso
Who cares anymore?
[09:36] Oso
Does soy sauce or miso even matter?
It's still imoni.
[09:39] Choro
Yeah, I guess. Maybe it doesn't matter.
[09:41] Ichi
Yeah, whichever.
[09:43] Hji
Don't be stupid! You use
soy sauce to make imoni!
[09:46] Mura
Miso!
[09:47] Hiji
Soy sauce!
[09:48] Mura
Miso!
[09:49] Both
You stupid country bumpkin!
[09:51] Choro
Apparently, it does matter.
[09:53] Ichi
Seems like a touchy subject.
[09:55] Oso
They're trying to kill each other over it.
[09:57] Todo
Let's just ask Dekapan.
That's the quickest option.
[10:00] All
Yeah.
[10:06] Todo
Hey, Dekapan.
[10:08] Todo
Does the imoni you want us to make
use soy sauce or miso?
[10:13] Deka
Mi... Miso?
[10:16] Deka
I said I want imoni... and you have
the nerve to ask me about miso?
[10:22] All
G-Guess he prefers soy sauce.
[10:27] Todo
Let's split up the duties.
[10:29] Todo
First, let's gather the ingredients.
[10:31] All
Yeah.
[10:32] Todo
Osomatsu-niisan and Ichimatsu-niisan,
[10:34] Todo
head home and see if we have
beef, veggies, and condiments.
[10:38] All
Got it.
[10:39] Todo
Choromatsu-niisan, you find us some taro.
[10:41] Todo
We probably don't have any at home, so try
to find someone who'll spare us some.
[10:44] Choro
Got it.
[10:45] Todo
All right, off you go.
[10:46] All
Huh?
[10:47] Todo
Huh?
[10:48] All
Wha?
[10:49] Todo
Huh?
[10:50] Oso
Uh, Totty? What are you going to do?
[10:52] Todo
I'm gonna take a break right here.
[10:54] Oso
What?!
[10:55] Todo
Get going already.
[10:57] Todo
I'll be the brains of this
operation and order you around,
[10:59] Todo
then we'll be able to win.
[11:02] Todo
Don't stew me!
[11:04] Choro
Hey, let's do this properly.
[11:05] Choro
Let's make some delicious imoni.
[11:10] Mom
Hey!
[11:13] Both
Thanks so much!
[11:15] Rando
Sorry to keep you waiting.
[11:17] Deka
I want some imoni now!
[11:19] Deka
I want some imoni!
[11:21] Dayon
J-Just wait a little longer.
[11:23] Dayon
Everyone's—
[11:23] Deka
They're all too slow!
[11:25] Deka
I want some imoni! They're too slow!
[11:27] Deka
Too slow! Too slow! Want some imoni!
[11:30] Dayo
Didn't I just tell you to wait, you bastard?!
[11:34] Dayon
Everyone's working hard
to make you some right now!
[11:37] Dayo
Why the hell can't you wait patiently?!
You want me to cancel it right now?!
[11:41] Dayo
You want some imoni, don't you?!
[11:45] Dayo
Then wait. Throw another
tantrum and I'll suck you up.
[11:51] Jyushi
Heh, you got in trouble.
[11:55] Toto
That one million yen is mine!
[11:57] Toto
For my new costume!
[11:59] Nya
I need that for diapers and milk!
[12:02] Toto
Can you even cook?
[12:04] Nya
Of course I can. I ain't a mom for nothin'.
[12:08] Nya
Wait, can you cook?
[12:10] Toto
Of course I can! I ain't
the heroine for nothin'.
[12:17] Toto
You dumbass.
[12:18] Toto
I'll show you how it's done.
[12:26] Both
Th-They're so cute.
[12:28] Choro
I wonder who the young lady next to her is.
[12:34] Jyushi
Why?
[12:35] Hata
Jo...
[12:38] Todo
Hey, wait.
[12:39] Todo
Where's Karamatsu-niisan?
[12:41] Ichi
Huh? Where the hell did he go?
[12:48] Kara
The name's Karamatsu. I never compromise.
[12:50] Kara
We're never gonna win if we just use some
potatoes we find rolling around, Brothers.
[12:56] Kara
I will go obtain the ultimate potato.
[13:01] Chibi
It's finished!
[13:03] Choro
Crap! Chibita beat us to the punch.
[13:06] Choro
Huh? Ch-Chibita, that's...
[13:11] Chibi
Well, Dekapan? How do you like it?
SIGN Prize Monies
Imoni Grand Prix
Grand Prize
1 million yen
[13:13] Deka
It's delicious.
[13:14] Dayo
It's great!
[13:16] Chibi
Welp, guess I win, then!
SIGN Prize
[13:19] Chibi
It's good, right?
[13:20] Both
Yup, yup.
[13:21] Chibi
In that case...
[13:24] Choro
Chibita.
[13:25] Choro
We're supposed to make imoni today.
[13:28] Chibi
Isn't oden great?
[13:29] Choro
Oden's great, but we're making imoni today.
[13:33] Chibi
Have a bite.
[13:35] Chibi
Well? Is it good?
[13:37] Choro
It's really good!
[13:38] Chibi
Then I win, right?
[13:40] Choro
I said no, oden for brains!
[13:42] Chibi
Huh?!
[13:43] Choro
We're making imoni!
[13:44] Chibi
I'll make oden!
[13:46] Choro
But why?! Imoni!
[13:47] Chibi
Oden!
[13:48] Choro
Imoni!
[13:48] Chibi
Oden!
[13:49] Choro
Imoni!
[13:49] Chibi
Oden, oden! I'll make oden!
[13:52] Choro
The hell's wrong with him? He's creepy.
[13:55] Toto
Hey, I have a great idea!
[13:58] Toto
I'll just call Uber.
[13:59] Nya
What?!
[14:26] All
Tato, tato, tato...
[14:27] All
Tato, tato, tato...
[14:33] Iyami
All done!
[14:36] Oso
Iyami? When'd he show up?
[14:40] Ichi
The hell's that?
[14:41] Choro
That looks awful.
[14:43] Iya
Have a taste! It's me's best dish yet!
[14:47] Iya
Me went through all the
trouble of making it.
[15:00] Deka
It's the best!
[15:03] Iya
All of you have a taste!
[15:08] Jyushi
Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap, holy crap!
[15:14] Iya
Guess me wins.
[15:16] Todo
What the heck? None of them can stop eating.
[15:18] Oso
It looks totally disgusting.
[15:24] Oso
Iyami... What exactly are
you putting in there?
[15:28] Iya
Huh? This is just...
[15:33] Iyami
Sheeeh!
[15:35] Oso
Wow, he really just did that.
[15:38] Nya
All done!
[15:40] Toto
Wait, really?
[15:41] Nya
French fries.
[15:42] Toto
What?
[15:44] Tatos
Tato, tato, tato...
[15:45] Tatos
Tato, tato, tato...
[15:47] Kara
Say, say! Citizens of the Potato
Kingdom, calm yourselves.
[15:52] Kara
I can understand why you'd be so excited,
[15:54] Kara
with a super hot guy like me showing up.
[15:56] Kara
But I have an urgent request!
[15:59] Kara
I don't have much time! Hear me out!
SIGN This fool!
SIGN Look at his stupid face!!
SIGN Get out of our village!
SIGN Leave!
[16:08] Kara
Ah, what a warm welcome.
[16:11] Kara
Thank you!
[16:12] Kara
Thank you!
[16:13] Kara
Thank you!
[16:14] Kara
I love you spuds, too!
[16:21] Kara
Potatoes and me...
[16:24] Kara
Potatoes and me!
[16:27] Kara
Potatoes!
[16:28] Kara
Me!
[16:33] Ichi
Uh, you okay, Choromatsu?
[16:36] Choro
What exactly is imoni?
[16:38] Choro
You're supposed to stew potatoes, right?
[16:40] Choro
Even though we're humble
potatoes ourselves...
[16:42] Choro
Potatoes gon potate. Stewers gon stew...
[16:44] Ichi
Osomatsu-niisan! Choromatsu broke!
[16:50] Ichi
Todomatsu!
[16:51] Todo
And then it totally blew up.
[16:54] Girl
What?
[16:54] Girl
Oh, my gosh!
[16:56] Ichi
Jyushimatsu!
[16:57] Hata
Jo...
[17:06] Jyushi
Ichimatsu-niisan?
[17:07] Ichi
Take this seriously, damn it!
[17:09] Ichi
I'm the only one working!
[17:11] Ichi
Die!
[17:13] Ichi
Hey! Come back!
[17:17] Nya
This is all your fault!
[17:19] Toto
This is all your fault!
[17:20] Chibi
Pipin' hot oden!
SIGN Oden
SIGN 1 cup 100 yen
[17:21] Ichi
Imoni!
[17:22] One
Miso!
[17:23] Two
Soy sauce!
[17:33] Kara
Potatoes and me!
[17:35] Tatoes
Tato, tato!
[17:37] Kara
Potatoes and me!
[17:39] Tatoes
Tato, tato!
[17:41] Kara
Potatoes!
[17:44] Kara
And me!
[17:52] Kara
Damn, imoni is good.
[17:54] Kara
Seconds, please!
[17:55] Kara
Whew! Nothing beats getting the real stuff!
[17:59] Tato
Tato.
[18:00] Kara
Huh? For me?
[18:02] Kara
Thanks!
[18:03] Tato
Tato, tato.
[18:04] Kara
Thank you!
[18:06] Imota
Imoni.
[18:07] Kara
Thanks!
[18:13] Kara
Big success!
[18:15] Kara
Heh. This should make Dekapan happy...
[18:30] Kara
Could those potatoes be...
[18:32] Kara
the ultimate potato I was looking for?!
[18:35] Elder
Tato.
[18:38] Kara
A-Are you sure, Elder?
SIGN These are our kingdom's legendary potatoes.
SIGN If you eat these,
SIGN you'll be one of us!
[18:50] Kara
There's no doubt about it...
We're gonna win!
[18:59] Deka
S-Stop!
[19:03] Deka
Th-This is no imoni!
[19:05] Deka
It's stupid to fight over who
made the best or over money!
[19:09] All
What?!
[19:10] Todo
You're the one who started this crap!
[19:12] Oso
You're only wearing underwear!
[19:13] Ichi
I'll kill you!
[19:14] Chibi
The hell're you talkin' about?!
[19:16] Guy
Who do you think you are?!
[19:17] Hiji
Who do you think you are?!
[19:18] Toto
Give us a break, old guy.
[19:19] Nya
You're just causing trouble!
[19:23] Dayon
Sorry about this. Dekapan just
wanted to be reminded of home.
[19:28] Deka
Sorry. This was all my fault.
[19:31] Deka
I just wanted all of you to
know how fun imoni can be.
[19:43] Choro
Let's remake it together, then. All of us.
SIGN Safety First
[21:02] Dayon
Here you go.
[21:03] Deka
Thanks.
[21:10] Deka
It's delicious!
[21:15] Dayon
It's yummy!
[21:18] Some
Yum!
[21:19] Some
This is great!
[21:22] Deka
Imoni is great.
[21:32] Shake
I hope we can do a show soon.
[21:34] Ume
Yeah.
[22:01] Both
Sheeeh!
SIGN End
SIGN Next time on
SIGN Mr. Osomatsu
[23:34] Totty
Heya, Totty here!
[23:36] Totty
Next week on Mr. Osomatsu,
we have "Just Don't."
[23:39] Totty
So when I tell you, "just don't," just don't.
[23:43] Totty
But if someone else told me, "just don't,"
[23:46] Totty
I'd wonder who the hell
they thought they were.
SIGN "Just Don't"
[23:48] Totty
Yeah! I love how much I exude humanity!